#sitting here for 2 yrs if i dont post now i never will

[puhpandas]

Rabbit Burrow

(5180 words) part 2 (1 found here)

Tony Becker, one year after surviving the attack from GGY, tracks down Gregory post-SB. But he has to get through Vanessa and Freddy before he can get to Gregory.

Its only after Tony has run through the interaction with Vanessa ten times over that he realizes she never told him how she knows Gregory.

He'd been nothing but restless since she left. His eyes have been darting to and from the digital clock on the end table on the other side of arm of the couch, and his brain has been so scattered, all he can focus on is the awaiting reunion.

The baking show has long since switched to a new episode since he last checked the TV. Tony's worried that at this point, his fingers will start bleeding if he keeps picking at them like this.

The only saving grace in a long chunk of nothing-but-anticipation is when Tony's phone buzzes at 6:01pm, right when he had started to gather his thoughts and began plan out the reunion in his head like remembering a speech.

Ellis: dude where r u????

Ellis: yr mom said u arent home and she keeps asking me if ur with me and where u r

All Tony does is sigh. He cant even find it in him to feel bad that his Mom and Grandma are probably worried. All he can think about is how his arms are shaking and his stomach feels floaty.

He types back with thumbs that have peeling skin on the edge of the fingernails.

Tony: Remember how I covered for you that one time?

Tony: I need you to cover for me. If you need to tell her that I'm with you and I'm staying over do that. I just need any excuse.

Ellis: yea i remember but why?

Ellis: if a guy covers for u u can at least tell him what the deal is

Tony: I'm doing something really important. I can't tell you all the details yet.

Tony: I just need you to trust me. Please. It'll help me out a lot, Ellis.

Tony: I promise I'll make it up to you next time you need something.

Ellis: dude didnt know it was that important

Ellis: dont worry then. u know i can tell a mean lie when i need to

Tony: Dude thanks. That's a big relief. It wont be in vain.

Ellis: my services will not be for free tho

Ellis: i will need something in return

Tony: What do you want?

Ellis: for u to buy me a cookie next time i see u at lunch

Tony finds it in him to roll his eyes at that. He smiles a bit, and right as he goes to send back I'll buy you two, Freddy Fazbear makes some sort of clunking sound.

Its enough to make his already fluttery heart clench and himself almost fly off of the couch. He jerks and yelps and can only stare Freddy Fazbears black eyelids phwip open, and his pupils glow..

They're blank, though, like they're on but Freddy himself isnt. His body whirs and shifts slowly, as if running a diagnostic, and after his ears wiggle, theres a clear difference.

Tony just sits rigid as a board with eyes wide as saucers as Freddy doesnt notice him right away. He just takes the jump cables off of his ears and sets them on the carpet, and moves his torso to face the window.

Which Tony is blocking. Since hes on the couch sitting directly next to the animatronic.

Theres a staring contest with a distinct lack of breathing for all but a few moments, before the small black plastic pieces that are Freddys eyebrows tilt downwards.

"Wait wait wait!" Tony holds out his hands, but Freddy doesnt get off the couch and attack him like his fears. Freddys eyes dont leave his once, and it reminds him too much of those few times Freddy would stare him down and be hot on his heels in the Pizzaplex during the GGY debacle.

Freddy pauses, not even so much as twitching as he burns an LED hole into him. Tony tries to get over the unease and stutters out, "Um, Vanessa trusts me. I talked to her. She told me to stay here."

For a fleeting moment, Tony believes he somehow said the wrong thing and that Freddy is now going to grab him and beat him into a pulp like he feared back at the Pizzaplex all that time ago. But during the rigid silence, the glow in Freddys eyes flickers for half a second, and some sort of beeping sound emits from a hidden speaker.

"I have just contacted her." Freddy finally breaks the tension, and Tony sighs at how his voice does not sound aggressive. In fact, Freddy hadn't spoken at all when Tony had been afraid of him last year. "You are telling the truth... my apologies."

"Theres no issue." Tony manages when Freddy looks so undoubtedly apologetic theres no doubt that he's not genuine. He scratches the back of his neck. "...I guess I wouldnt be too keen on a stranger being in my house when I wake up either."

"Yes," Freddy nods, and his ears bob at the motion. Theres a split second of silence where the baking show Tony hasn't caught a single second of is the only noise in the room. "so that begs the question; why are you here?"

Tony jerks. "What?"

"You are a stranger in my house, like you said." Freddy points out, not unkindly. "I would appreciate knowing why. Even if you already went over it with Vanessa."

"Oh. Well. I dont know what all Vanessa told you, but... I'm here for Gregory."

Freddy doesnt immediately turn distrustful or wary like Vanessa had. Probably because he already knows Tony is a friend. "She said you were an old friend of his." Freddy confirms. His "So, you are the boy Gregory talks to much about."

Tony doesnt really know how to respond to that. He grabs a fold of fabric from the arm of his jacket in-between his fingers. "Uh...yeah."

"I'm sure you've already talked to Vanessa. So I wont beat around the bush." Freddy says. "But Gregory has tried so hard to remember you."

Tony brows furrow. "...She said he has dreams sometimes. And that's how he knows I-- we exist."

"Yes." Freddy nods."But she probably did not tell you that he tries to figure out what reminded him of you, so he can continue to keep dreaming."

Tony's eyes widen, and he picks at his fingers. No. Vanessa did not mention that. She said nothing about Gregory actively searching for Tony around his life to see him in his dreams.

Freddys LED eyes dim, and his ears and eyelids droop in a clear sign of upset. "It breaks my heart. To see Gregory try to gather the broken pieces of his memories." His eyes stare at the couch cushion below them, before they dart up to look him in the eye. "You were obviously very important to him, if he searches like this."

"He is to me too." Is all Tony can manage. He's suddenly getting a sense adjacent to deja vu.

"Its clear that he is." Freddy is still looking him in the eye, but somehow, Tony feels like he's smiling at him. "If you came all this way to see him."

And he really did come a long way, didnt he? He took a bus to a different county. He spent hours and hours scouring the internet for any mention of Greg after he suddenly up and went missing as soon by the time Tony had recovered enough to look for him.

Greg has searched too, apparently. Tony cant help but be aware of. Even after losing his memories.

"What is your name?" Freddy suddenly asks him.

"Tony Becker." Tony answers easily. "I guess he doesnt remember my name, huh?"

"No. But he has tried. Believe me when I say that." Freddy says. "He wants to know more about his life before what happened more than anything."

"...You think he'll be happy to see me?"

"There is no doubt, Tony Becker."

The last time he had seen Greg, it was in a dusty back room with a knife in his back.

But despite that, it isnt what Tony thinks when he thinks Greg. When he thinks of Greg, he thinks of the sleepovers and the days Greg would show up at school one day with his hair different lengths. He thinks about how He, Greg, and Ellis would Vs. eachother on the air hockey machine. He thinks about the stories they'd come up with in creative writing.

When he thinks of that afternoon at the Pizzaplex, he doesnt think Greg. He thinks GGY. Maybe its that first inkling of separation that got him here.

Theres been a stretch of silence while Tony soaked it in. The rain outside has slowed, and the sun peeking through the gray clouds shines through the window, white lines on the coffee table like the blinds are a stencil.

"But the truth is... I do not think Vanessa feels the same." Freddy suddenly says. "She wants to protect him from the awful memories. I do not have to deal with them like she does, but I assume they... that they haunt her."

His ears droop. "I believe that she does not want Gregory to have to as well."

"So shes trying to keep them from him?" Tony asks, a brow raised. "But that's his choice, isn't it?"

"That is how I feel." Freddy agrees, looking at him again. It's starting to become less uncomfortable. "Listen, Tony Becker. I may not know for sure, but I feel that Vanessa is afraid to let you near Gregory. Seeing you will make him remember so much."

His mind immediately jumps to a thousand implications at that."If shes scared, what does that mean?" He asks. "She'll make me leave? She'll change her mind?"

"I do not think so." Freddy assures. "But my point is that she has been trying for so long to keep Gregorys memories under wraps. It is not with malice, but this is why I ask you this."

"Gregory has long since chosen to remember, even if Vanessa does not want him to." Freddy says havent left his once, and Tony doesnt look away, either. Freddys pupils suddenly appear brighter in a way when he speaks again, "To keep them from him after he has already made his choice would be cruel. Which is why I would like you to help him, Tony Becker."

Tony hasnt forgotten how Greg fought for him that day at the Pizzaplex. He hasnt forgotten how all that mattered was Tony escaping. Not if Greg would get in trouble. Not if something would happen to him.

Gregory has, though. Greg has forgotten a lot of things.

But if seeing Tony in danger that fateful afternoon made him remember himself enough to fight, and win against mind control?

Tony can fight for Greg's memories, too. Even if it takes another year.

"He deserves to remember his old life." Freddy says. "Vanessa has told me that his parents are dead. Any life he had before is nothing but a faint memory." He hums, melancholy. "But it's one I want him to remember."

Me too Tony almost says. Because all Tony has wanted throughout this last year is his friend back.

"Greg was one of my best friends." Tony says quietly, eyes downcast. He counts the threads in the couch cushion. "I want him to remember me and Ellis and... everything. It's why I'm here."

"I have not been able to help him, no matter how much I've wanted to." Freddy responds, sounding sad. "But I am glad you are here. Now Gregory truly has a chance of obtaining what hes been chasing for so long."

"Me too." Tony replies, not knowing which exactly hes responding too.

"So," Freddy pauses. "what do you say?"

"I'll do it." Tony responds immediately. "But... I just have to ask. Why do you trust me so much? Vanessa wouldnt even tell me anything until I answered her riddles."

Freddy hums. "It is exactly as you said." Freddy answers. "You earned Vanessa's trust. So in turn you have earned my trust. I trust Vanessa to trust you."

Tony doesnt respond, for a moment, just taking that in.

The amount of faith you have in someone to trust them that much. To know you can rely on them. To have no doubt...

Tony glances at the hallway he can see just over the back of the couch and down the hall into the room with the slightly open door, with the pens and pencils and bed and desk, and wonders how tightly wound the people in this house are with eachother.

"...Then I'll return the favor." Tony smiles. "You're friends of Greg's, and, well... I was friends with him, once upon an time. And he still seems to think so." He holds out a hand. "Any friend of Greg's is a friend of mine."

Freddys ears wiggle, and his eyelids come up in a way that make him look overjoyed. "Any friend of Gregory's is a friend of mine." Freddy repeats, shaking Tony's hand. "We are in this together, now. We will have to be there for Gregory if he remembers not so great things."

"And for the great things." Tony smiles, going over the few months worth of memories of their three amigos friendship he has in his head. "Its worth it, I think."

After all, if Tony's found a way to seperate killer Greg with his Greg, then he thinks Gregory probably can as well.

"I'm glad we have that settled." Freddys ears wiggle, and his eyes do that dimming thing again for half a second. "Because Vanessa has just contacted me and let me know that she is almost back with Gregory."

He makes some sort of choking noise. Theres a thousand things on the tip of Tony's tongue in seconds. His eyes blow wide as saucers, and he twists his back to look at the clock that reads 6:34.

He immediately feels like someone dumped a bucket of ice water on his head. He stutters, trying to gather his thoughts, and eventually gets out "How long?!"

"Soon." Freddy smiles. "It wont be long, now. It seems all the work you've done has paid off."

Tony cant find it in him to move his mouth after that. Just too rigid. It feels like theres electricity buzzing up his skin and a wildfire in his chest. It feels like he cold start floating like a balloon at any moment.

He doesnt respond to Freddy, after that. He just twists his body to face the front door (his back twinges. maybe he shouldn't slouch over his laptop and desk so much) and waits.

A few minutes is nothing in the grand scheme of things. Not really when its put up against the year he's taken to track Greg down. But its somehow more agonizing waiting now when he knows Greg is in arms reach, instead of it being uncertain if he'd ever see him again.

It's not uncertain, now. Is the thing. Greg is on his way, and Tony, for once, doesn't even know what to think. All he can do is sit there and be clammy and impatient.

Freddy chuckles. Tony ignores it. He burns a hole into the front door just across the living room, only hearing his own jumbled thoughts and roaring in his ears over the baking show on the TV.

Its Winter right now. So by 6:45, all the light outside has darkened into pitch blackness. The residential street lights outside the apartments make the raindrops on the window glow. The TV is still going in the background.

Freddy is as still as he is, joining him in watching the door as restless as a bored puppy. Listening to the ventilation inside of Freddys inner workings is the only thing that reminds Tony to breathe.

After multiple agonizing minutes, Tony jerks when the slam of a car door is heard distantly outside the window.

"Are you ready, Tony Becker?" Freddy breaks the silence. Looking back at Freddy is the first time Tony looks away from the door. "We do not know how much he will remember at first. It may be messy. It may not."

Messy is definitely a word he would use to describe a lot of the things that have happened, here. So he just nods, a tilt of his head. "I'm ready."

"He is ready, too." replies Freddy.

And that's all that's said until the doorknob begins to rattle.

All that Tony manages is a strangled gasp before he's bolting off the couch, almost tripping over Freddys legs. His converse slide on the laminate wood, and he stands there. In perfect view of the door.

His legs feel cold and his chest airy as he watches. He waits for movement, and cant help the tremble in his hands when the deadbolt unlocks. He can hear voices. Only because hes straining his ears, but he can hear a high pitched voice muffled and faint behind the door.

The doorknob rattles, and Tony watches as the deadbolt unlocks from the inside. His heart stutters in his chest when he hears voices outside, and he can pinpoint one of the pitches as Greg's.

"Come on, Vanessa. Were home. Now tell me what the suprise is!"

"I think you'll want to see it for yourself, Greg."

"Its inside? Well what could it possibly be if you wont even give me a hint--"

The knob twists, and the door creaks open. Its steady and agonizingalmost as if it's in slow motion.

And there he is.

Theres the pale skin and short stature and blue clothes. Tony isnt breathing when he just looks, and sees the boy he'd been searching for so long right in front of him.

He has raindrops in his chocolate brown hair. Greg doesnt look away from Vanessa while he walks in, at first, but Vanessa looks away from Gregory. She meets his eyes, and Tony doesnt have it in him to dissect what the look could mean.

All he cares about is how Greg follows her gaze.

He stops in his tracks, his mud stained Pizzaplex brand sneakers planting him firmly in place.

It's like everything else falls away when Greg meets his eyes. Huge, amber eyes that grow as wide as saucers when they see him. Theres a dark jagged scar wrapped around his cheek that makes it to his nose that wasnt there before.

The silence is deafening, as they just stand there and stare at eachother. Tony thinks he isnt breathing. Theres electricity shooting up his spine. His fingers twitch and tremble. Greg just stares, mouth agape.

Tony's own twitches, and he smacks his lips together, testing if he can still speak at all. His legs are rooted to the ground as he says, just above a whisper, "Greg."

Greg's face shifts ever so slightly, and it's only now Tony realizes his eyes are a bit faraway. Like he's...

Remembering something.

In an instant, they dart and blink, and Greg is looking at him again.

Tony dares to break through the water by taking a step. He never tears his eyes away from Gregory's own.

At some point, Vanessa moved away from the door and somewhere else in the house.

Which means the coast is clear when Tony takes a step, and then another, and Greg is meeting him in the middle.

Hes almost sprinting when they crash into eachother like waves. Immediately, Tony wraps his arms around Greg tight, and Greg clutches back just as desperately.

"Tony." Gregory says breathlessly. Tony can feel Greg's hair brush against his cheek and his hands ball up his jacket. "Its you. That's your name. You're the..."

"The one you've been dreaming about?" Tony chuckles, and to his suprise, it's a little wet. His legs ache from pushing himself into the hug so much, but he ignores it. "Yeah. Me and Ellis. Your friends."

"Tony and Ellis." Greg repeats, and Tony could cry at how it's the same voice in all of his memories. A few things are different; Gregory's face has changed a bit, and so has his hair and clothes. But all of the things that made him Greg back then are still here.

"I--" Greg stutters. "I tried so hard to remember anything about you. I was gonna track you down, I hope you know. Cause you're the only things I remember about..."

"I know, Greg." Tony replies. Greg pulls away from the hug, and Tony still has a grip on his shoulders. "They told me everything."

He jerks his head towards Freddy and Vanessa, and when Greg looks over at him, Freddys ears wiggle and Vanessa does a small little wave.

"Some suprise." Gregory chuckles, wiping at his dry eyes. "Jeez, its just-- I just remembered so much. Just by seeing you, and--"

Greg's eyes turn a little misty as he looks in Tony's own. "We were friends." He says. "And I forgot you for so long."

"It wasnt your fault." Tony smiles slightly. Greg still has to look up at him a bit, like he did last time Tony saw him. "Freddy and Vanessa told me you tried your best to remember us."

Gregory nods, glancing over at them. "I did." He says. "I wanted to know what triggered the first dream so bad. But... I never figured it out."

"I guess it doesn't matter now." Tony says. "I'm right here in front of you, and you remember now. Ellis'll be really glad to see you, too."

Gregory chuckles. "I missed him." He says. "I missed you, too."

"Me too." Tony replies, and it doesn't feel like those two words can encapsulate how much Tony has felt the past year. "Ellis really missed you as well. He still is. You don't know what happened to him when you went missing."

Gregory ducks his head, eyes downcast. "I wish I did."

Tony eyes Freddy from the corner of his eye, and he nods. Tony looks back towards Greg. "I can tell you some stuff, if you want. Vanessa said something reminded you of me one day." He smiles. "I can try to help remind you of stuff enough to remember more."

Gregory's head shoots up, and to Tony's suprise, tears gather in his eyes. As quick as they come, he ducks his head, using the sleeve of his navy jacket to wipe them away. "Yeah." He sniffs. "That'd be great."

"I'm glad you guys reunited." Vanessa pipes up to their left. "But, Gregory, I think you should go take a breather. I wanna talk to Tony anyway."

Greg doesnt answer for a second, but eventually he nods, smiling at Tony as he peels himself away. Tony takes note of how the tooth Gregory had been missing last year is still gone.

Tony watches him go, and his eyes dont leave his back until the door to his room shuts.

"Kid," Vanessa grabs his attention. She gestures to sit down on the couch, and he moves over, sitting in-between Freddy and her. "that went well. Really well."

Tony just nods, not able to shake the trembling in his fingers and the floaty feeling in his chest.

"It doesnt seem like he remembered anything bad." Vanessa points out. "He couldnt have. He wouldn't be so calm if he did, trust me."

Tony remembers Freddys words about how Vanessa grapples with the things shes done, so he does. He nods again, and Vanessa smiles. "So that's good. Listen, kid. If you can somehow have Gregory remember his old life without any of the mind control murder stuff, that would be the best case scenario."

Freddy whirs and straightens out a but, opening his mouth to speak, but he stops at the last second. "It wouldnt be unfair to Gregory if he wasnt remembering anything good, Fred." Vanessa points out.

"That is true." Freddy agrees. "There is no point in Gregory remembering anything harmful to him if avoidable. Vanessa knows that better than anyone."

Tony opens his mouth to speak, but pauses.

Not remember anything bad? As in he wouldnt be able to remember that day at the Pizzaplex?

How Greg had put himself on the line and fought for Tony's life? How he'd succeeded? How Tony always desperately wanted to see Greg again just to talk about it?

Words get caught in his throat, but he pushes them down and shoves his feelings aside. He just nods. "I'll do my best."

"Thanks." Vanessa says, and she sounds more relieved than Tony's ever heard anyone. She puts a hand on his shoulder, offering him a smile. "Really. Thank you, kid. I'd do anything for Gregory to never have to remember the same things I do."

Tony just nods again, finding that for the first time in his life, he has no words to say. "Yeah."

"I am sure you're dying to catch up with Gregory." Freddy smiles. "Go on, Tony Becker. We will give you both space."

Tony smiles, shooting up and shimmying past Freddys legs in-between the coffee table towards the hall. "Okay. Sure." He only lingers for another moment to say "Thanks!"

Its jet black outside when Tony passes a window, and by the time he makes it to Greg's room, the only light available is a small table lamp on the desk with paper strewn about. Greg sits on his bed, deep in thought, before snapping out of it when Tony walks in.

"Hey." Gregory smiles, and Tony grins back when he shuts the door behind him. He cant help how his eyes wander about the room, taking in every detail as he moves further into the room. His backpack is tossed on the floor beside his bed, and theres comic pages and drawings thumbtacked up across every wall. Theres a corkboard with blocky letters written on paper sheets scattered around, and his bedsheets have constellations on them.

Tony's eyes linger on the desk, where there are multiple comics covering every inch, some half-finished and some fully colored.

"You would draw comics when we were friends, too." Tony says, making his way over and peering at all of the different drawings. "I'd call them graphic novels. I'd write the story and you'd draw."

"I think I had a dream about that." Greg says. "We'd go in your room and brainstorm, right?"

"Yeah." Tony smiles. He looks at the dates scribbles in the corners of them all, and notices that most of them are recent.

"Its one of the only dreams I had." Gregory says. "It... it would make me so mad because it never went any different. And it had been the only indication you even existed for so long." He chuckles without humor. "The other dreams weren't much different, but, well, I was never really able to figure out how to trigger a new dream."

As he keeps looking, some of the older comics, like the ones on the walls and the underneath the piles of recent ones have dates from a few months ago.

It's like a tiny lightbulb goes off above his head. He turns to Gregory, asking "Do you remember when you had the first dream?"

Gregory pauses for a moment. "Yeah." He says. "It was a few months ago. The first dream I had was about us drawing comics in your room."

Tony smiles, finding the earliest date to be near October last year. Its February now. "Did you ever think the thing that triggered that memory was drawing a comic?"

Tony watches as the gears turn in Greg's head. Hes silent for a moment, before muttering, "No. I didnt."

Tony looks at the window on the wall by Greg's bed and watches as raindrops drip down the screen on the other side. Crickets are chirping faintly, and he can hear Freddy and Vanessa's voices muffled behind the door.

The days events catch up to him, and right as the first inkling of tiredness creep up on him, he says "So how about we try to make a comic together like the dream? Maybe it'll bring back some new memories."

Gregory is silent for a moment, and Tony watches as his eyes widen, and a grin gradually stretches across his face. "Okay." He says. "Yeah. Let's do it."

So it's in Greg's room, instead of Tony's, where they hunker down for the night and squish next to eachother on the same chair at the same desk and brainstorm a comic. Tony makes a point of calling it a graphic novel like he used to, because Greg would always say something about it, and unsurprisingly, this time is no different.

The only light is from Gregory's small table lamp shoved to the very corner to make room for more papers, and it's only when they have everything ready does Greg finally ask about the story.

"You said you'd write the story and I'd draw." Gregory says. His shoulder is pressed up against Tony's on the chair and his voice is loud in his ear. "So what's the story?"

Tony hums for a second, jumbled thoughts and ideas running course in his mind, then he gets an idea.

He grins slowly as it dawns on him. He glances over at Greg.

"You always liked nonfiction better, right?" Gregory says, voice up an octave like a question. "Real life stuff."

"Yeah." Tony confirms. "This is a real story."

"So tell me." Greg smiles, leaning back to get a good view of Tony. Tony himself does the same, and Greg is doing one of those lopsided smiles that shows off his missing tooth. "And I'll start drawing the panels."

Its only after theyve hunkered down does Tony really let himself revel in the fact that he found Greg, and he's here and okay. It may not be perfect, since Tony never really will be able to speak to that Gregory that saved him that day and thank him, but its content. Tony has his friend back, and he can't ask for any more.

He's long since decided on a story when he finally tells Gregory. He smiles softly, before saying,

"This story is about a kid named Gregory, who once hacked the school PA speakers and started beatboxing."

🔎🐰

Ellis: um so how long will i have to keep this up???

Ellis: would be nice to know

Tony: I dont know how long I'll be gone.

Tony: I'll buy you as many cookies as you want for this.

Ellis: we will negotiate when you come back

Ellis: for now ill uphold my end of the deal mr. becker

Tony: I'll uphold mine early.

Tony sent an image

Image ID: A boy with short dark brown hair and a green jacket angling the camera so by his head is a boy with pale skin and chocolate brown hair. The boy with dark hair is smiling and the boy with brown hair is looking suprised at the camera.

Ellis is typing...

ao3 link

[astrcphiles]

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NOTES

birth year: 1983

ethnic background: turkish, albanian, bosniak

content warning:blood, hospitals, scars, kissing, guns, flashing gif

content year: 2018-2019

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last updated: 14/10/2020

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[kingjasnah]

actually. actually let’s talk about diversity in fantasy let’s give that a go. im mad and im gonna be that way for a while

don’t want to read all this? fair. tldr: fantasy writers who rely not only on the medieval europe model but also hide behind historical accuracy in 2020 (fuck it, from ‘95 onwards) are lazy and unimaginative and should be held accountable no matter how many white 20 year old dudes jerk off to whatever power fantasy is embedded in the plot. so lets chat about that lads. (slightly) drunk rant under the cut

now prelim shit: we know fantasy is used both as escapism and as a way to deal with various traumas via magical metaphor. staples of the genre. even if jk rowling busted out the laziest and at times offensive metaphor for ww2 and racism ive ever seen, she still adhered to time and true tropes. whatever.

so why have we, in this post game of thrones era, become insanely obsessed with realism? i can hear sixty 20-something year old men crying at me rn like oh ohh oh its based off the war of roses oh wahh all medieval fantasy fiction is based off england and the crusades anyway so women should get raped and people of color should be demonized its not racism its xenophobia and also gay people dont exist and disabled people are systematically killed off and if we stretch the magic fixes mental illness thing a LITTLE further we have straight up eugenics.

we all know where the england but myth thing came from. now the thing about tolkien is that while i will always absolutely love lotr, looking at the LAZY state of fantasy? damn i kinda wish he hadn’t revolutionized the genre. the bitch was still racist. he still didnt give a shit abt women (eowyn was just a vehicle to show how much he fucking hated macbeth anyone holding jrrt up as a feminist icon for that needs to sit the fuck down and explain to me why i can count the woman speaking roles in lotr, a story with a name and fleshed out backstory for every minor character, on one hand but thats! another post). he had something to say abt class with sam i’ll give him that but he is still 100% NOT what we need to hold our standards to in 2020. 

i dont want to talk about old school fantasy, like 80s early 90s cause theres literally no point. its sexist, racist, ableist for sure, this we know. david eddings (not even that old school tbh) can rise from the grave and explain himself to me personally and i still wont forgive him for ehlana. 

so let’s talk historical accuracy. quick question. who the FUCK gives a shit? WHO is this elusive got fan who’s out here like blehh actually??? this method of iron production is TOTALLY anachronistic of the time. ummm these vegetables in this fictional world were NOT native to english soil so how are they here? cause i know this is the classic argument but ive never actually met someone who cared about the lack of dysentery as much as they care abt the women getting raped on screen/page. 

god forbid you have to worldbuild for a second god forbid you can’t rely on the idea of fantasy readers already have in their head god forbid you have an original idea god forbid you spend more than two seconds thinking about ur setting (oh i should mention i dont....really blame GoT for its setting cause of how long ago it was og written but trust me i sure as hell blame grrm for writing a 13 yr old giving ‘consent’ to sex with a grown man within the first couple of chapters) 

If we accept the basic premise of fantasy as escapism, and i AM drunk so i will NOT be finding fuckin. quotes and shit for this but come on tolkien said it himself and as much as i’ll drag him he crafted the simplest and most powerful fantasy metaphors on the board rn. But if we know its escapism. If we know. then who is it escapism for? certainly not for me, the gay brown woman who busted through all of GoT in 10th grade. 

modern fantasy lit used as an excuse for that white male power fantasy is literally disgusting. calling historical accuracy is so fucking dumb ESPECIALLY cause we, as ppl in the 21st  century, KNOW women have been consistently written out of the story. poc ppl, gay and trans ppl, anyone with a god forbid disability has been WRITTEN out of history as we know it, INCLUDING the fucking war of the roses so HOW can we hold up testimony we know is flawed to support our FICTIONAL. STORY. just to??? support the white power fantasy?? literally noah fence but if you are a white guy who felt really empowered by every time jim butcher described a woman tell me: how do you think that’ll hold up in classic HisToRiCaL fantasy. you think thats a fucking noble pursuit? or are you grima wormtongue out here. 

(side note: jim butcher stop writing challenge i dont need to know abt every woman on page’s nipples. anyone who hides behind subgenre like that? ‘ohhh its a noir story thats why hes sexualizing everyone’ shut the fuck up an author isnt possessed by a fuckin muse and compelled to bust out 500k they have agency and they have choice and they MADE the choice to reserve said will for none of their female characters)

which brings me to point 2: target audience and BOY is the alcohol hitting me rn but WHO is this for? this isnt the fucking 80s we know poc and other marginalized folk read fantasy FOR the escapism. on god ive had a cosmere focused blog for nearly three years and. im just gonna say it im interacted with A LOT of yall and ive managed to talk to VERY few white straight ppl as compared to everyone else. 

like....who deserves to see the metaphor on homophobia or racism. joanne rowling? the bitch who literally tried to sell us happy slaves and the disgusting aids metaphor and the worst case of antisemitic stereotypes i ever saw in an nyt bestseller? yall think that was for US? or was it for the white guilt crowd. 

literally white people can find any book about them that they can relate to. but hmmm maybe theres a reason gay women care so much about stormlight archive’s jasnah kholin, a brown woman who’s heavily coded as wlw. or kaladin, the FIRST fantasy protag ive ever seen with clinical depression. hmm i wonder why a bunch of millennials are vibing all of a sudden. im not saying sanderson is perfect--but its the best ive seen from a white author tbh

maybe theres a reason a lot of poc vibe with a literary way to express trauma, and maybe thats why i specifically get so pissed when its not done well. theres a REASON books about outcasts pushing through and claiming their own lives are popular with people who arent white and straight and able bodied. Junot Diaz had a point. maybe lets STOP catering to those assholes who think theyre joseph campbell’s wet dream personified. ive lost respect SO many authors who are objectively talented. pat rothfuss can write so beautifully that ive cried to bits of name of the wind but literally i will never pick that series up again (not just because of the felurian. women in general tbh. mostly the felurian ngl) cause 1) i personally KNEW men whod jerk off to that shit and 2) there was no need for it there was no plot reason for ANY of that shit 

so like obviously thers an issue with authors of color specifically not getting recognized for fantasy and genre work but on god??????? im still mostly mad at the legions of white authors churning out the same medieval england chosen one books year after fucking year. have an original thought maybe. also im sorry that you as an author lack the basic empathy needed to examine the way that women? or any group of people that youre explicitly writing about see the world and would specifically see YOUR made up world. 

yes your fantasy should be diverse, but more than that it should be kind. if you as a writer cant respect groups of people who deserve it....what the hell are you doing in a genre that traditionally is about finding ways to express injustice through metaphor? tolkien’s hero was sam. fantasy was NEVER about the privileged. yall know who you are so stop acting so fucking entitled. peace out. 

[enchantingkittengaditor]

The MCU’s Daughters: Shoebox

A/N: This is a Prequel, to my new story The MCU’s Daughter, inspired by Brie Larson’s album Finally Out of PE. Invisible Girl was merely the inspiration for this piece and if lyrics are seen it’s probably just me listening to the song about 100 times writing this and editing it.

Summary: Long before she was the MCU’s Daughter. Before they were the Internet’s Daughters. They were just teenage girls trying to fit into a new system, a new country and a new school. Before all the fame and success two teens first became friends and teammates.

Warnings: Mentions of Depression, Anxiety, Epilepsy, Violence, Extreme Angst, Fluff

November 25th, 2016

Simone

“Happy Regionals Day!” Tegan said as she walked into the classroom.

“What do you mean Regionals Day?” I asked as Tegan sat down next to me.

“I mean every one of our classmates except for a few are at athletics regionals today. So it is just four of us in yr 8 and we get to be alone. No teachers!” Tegan said to me going up to the whiteboard and writing ‘class plans: nothing,’ on it.

“So do you want to watch movies or play games?” Alexandra asked sitting down in Miss G’s chair.

“I vote conspiracy videos,” I said.

“I vote you actually do some school work,” Miss G’s assistant said coming through the class door to grab her folders for the day.

“So if we do an hour of school work we can do whatever we like for the rest of the day?” I asked her.

“Yes.”

“Sweet,” Hamish said taking his seat.

“So it’s just you four in here everyone else is going to the other classes. Don’t rub it in. And maybe edit some videos,” she told us all.

“That last one counts as schoolwork. So we can watch raw footage and put it together and film a video of today and then we can watch videos and play weird games for the rest of the day,” Tegan suggested.

“And we can have meetings at the desk,” Alexandra added on.

“Sounds like a plan.”

Once we’d watched raw footage of us all in Wellington enjoying ourselves. With comments such as ‘we have to include that!’ and ‘no! No, we can’t include Miss G swearing at a wall! Can we?’ it passed the time till morning tea. And after that, we dissolved into playing games.

“OK! Hamish, bed, wed, behead, Saskia, Indy and Scarlett,” Alexandra asked.

“Uhhh… Kill Scarlett, Marry Saskia? And Bed Indy,” He said very scared.

“Why?” I asked him.

“Well, Scarlett’s horrible, Indy seems the most down for weird stuff and Saskia is the nicest,” Hamish said, “Now Tegan. Celebrities or people we know?”

“Celebrities, definitely,” Tegan responded.

“OK, Brie Larson, Scarlett Johanssen or Tom Holland?” Hamish asked.

“Kill Tom, Marry Brie and Fuck Scarlett. Because Tom is a twat, Brie is Brie and while Scarlett is a questionable person she is Natasha Romanoff and I mean,” Tegan responded almost too quickly, “Now, Alexandra, Celebrities or people we know?”

“People we know, I want a challenge,” She told Tegan.

“Hamish, Lachie and… Xavier.”

“Kill Xavier, Fuck Lachie and Marry Hamish, easy,” Alexandra told Tegan, “Simone, celebrity or people we know?”

“Celebrities.”

“The Marvel Chrises.”

“Fuck Hemsworth, kill Pratt and marry Evans,” I told her instantly.

“Well this is fun and all but I have to pop to the loo,” Tegan said closing her computer leaving the classroom

“Should we snoop?” I asked them.

“Yes,” Alexandra said, “And before you say anything else 2 against 1 Hamish.”

“Cool, what does she have in her emails?” I asked, “Who’s Donte?”

“I don’t know but let’s call him and find out.”

November 25th, 2016

Tegan

“Who are you guys?” I heard the familiar voice as I walked into the classroom.

“Hello Donte, my friends stole my computer and are skyping you,” I said walking toward the computer.

“That’s odd, you have friends?” He asked me back.

“Yes, I do. I’ll let them talk though I have some songs to work on,” I said waving to him.

“So…” Simone started as they asked him a thousand questions.

I sat down at the big computer with its piano keyboard and started trying to recall the keys for Shout Out To My Ex, that we were recording after lunch and tried to start singing.

“This is a shout out to my ex Heard he in love with some other chick Yeah yeah, that hurt me, I’ll admit Forget that boy, I’m over it I hope she gettin’ better sex Hope she ain’t fakin’ it like I did, babe Took four long years to call it quits Forget that boy, I’m over it,” I sang to myself in the corner.

“Guess I should say thank you For the “hate yous” and the tattoos Oh, baby, I’m cool by the way Ain’t sure I loved you anyway Go ‘head, babe, I'ma live my life, my life, yeah,” Alexandra joined in from across the room.

“Shout out to my ex, you’re really quite the man You made my heartbreak and that made me who I am Here’s to my ex, hey, look at me now Well, I, I’m all the way up I swear you’ll never bring me down Shout out to my ex, you’re really quite the man You made my heartbreak and that made me who I am Here’s to my ex, hey, look at me now Well, I’m, I’m all the way up I swear you’ll never, you’ll never bring me down,” Both of us sung in unison.

“Oh, I deleted all your pics Then blocked your number from my phone Yeah, yeah, you took all you could get But you ain’t getting this love no more ‘Cause now I’m living so legit (So legit!) Even though you broke my heart in two, baby (Scoop, scoop) But I snapped right back, I’m so brand new, baby (I’m so brand new!) Boy, read my lips, I’m over you, over you, uh,” Simone sang while Donte looked confused with Hamish.

“Guess I should say thank you For the “hate yous” and the tattoos Oh, baby, I’m cool by the way Ain’t sure I loved you anyway Go 'head, babe, I'ma live my life, my life, yeah,” Donte sang from the other end of the phone call.

“Shout out to my ex, you’re really quite the man You made my heartbreak and that made me who I am Here’s to my ex, hey, look at me now Well, I, I’m all the way up I swear you’ll never bring me down Shout out to my ex, you’re really quite the man You made my heartbreak and that made me who I am Here’s to my ex, hey, look at me now Well, I’m, I’m all the way up I swear you’ll never, you’ll never bring me down,” We all sang together, even Hamish this time.

“You’ll never bring me down, yeah,” Hamish sang.

“Shout out to my ex, you’re really quite the man You made my heartbreak and that made me who I am Here’s to my ex, hey, look at me now Well, I’m all the way up I swear you’ll never, you’ll never bring me down, ooh,” I sang

“Shout out to my ex, you’re really quite the man (You’re quite the man) You made my heartbreak and that made me who I am Here’s to my ex, hey, look at me now Well, I’m, I’m all the way up, I swear you’ll never bring me down (You’ll never bring me down) Shout out to my ex, you’re really quite the man (Eh-hey-eh) You made my heartbreak and that made me who I am Here’s to my ex, hey, look at me now (Won’t you just look at me now?) Well, I’m, I’m all the way up I swear you’ll never, you’ll never bring me down,” We all sang together as some of the yr 7s came in.

“(Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh) (Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh, oh) (Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh) (Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh, oh) Yeah, hey, oh (Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh) (Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh, oh) Oh, Nah, Nah (Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, oh, oh) You’ll never bring me down,” We finished.

“That was so much fun, but I gotta go. Dinner time. But you should definitely post that song on youtube, maybe remake the video,” Donte said to all of us as the year 7s stared at us as if we were insane.

[missjackil]

My 14x17 Opinion

Game Night

This was the first new episode since “The Announcement” and I have to say I was putting off writing it. I usually post these the day after, but I procrastinated so it’s a bit late. So forgive my butt-hurt tardiness and let's have at it.

I enjoyed this episode, though it wasn't without some issues. I must say that I was pleased that it wasn't as Sam-lite as I thought it would be from the promo pics, trailer, and knowing Jared didn't work a lot that week, I will always want for more Sam in an episode, but all his parts were necessary and high quality in this one, so I'm not angry at all. 

We start the episode with Donatello making cookies, singing Raindrops are Fallin’ on my Head, which made me smile. It made me think of Butch Cassiday and The Sundance Kid and I love that movie, and if J2 ever want to play the leads in a remake, I would be willing to pay for it myself! 

Donny gets interrupted by the door, and we know this is a problem because its the first 5 minutes of SPN, let's be honest. As soon as I see the bad guy’s wedding ring, I think “Shit... here comes Nick”. I thought he was gonna kill him and I'm glad he didn't. I like Donny, he looks like my dad. 😊

Back at the Bunker, the fam is getting ready for “Winchester Game Night” and Dean is playing Mouse Trap, and having no luck getting it to work. I had that game as a kid too and was never able to get it to work either, but it was fun putting it together! I did think it was a little sad but fitting, that Dean would have played that game as a 4 yr old, but leave it to John and Mary to give Dean a game made for older kids, that never worked out the way it was supposed to and had too many small parts he could choke on. (the irony is not lost on me)

Mary and Jack are in the kitchen. I could literally almost smell the Jiffy Pop popcorn. A Saturday night staple at my house growing up (any of you out there ever taste that greasy salt left on the sides of the foil pan? Good stuff!) and Mary starts in with the questions for Jack. I got a kick out of him telling her its annoying, and her face after. It’s ok Mary, he’s fine, he’s just a teenager now. Something I guess she never got to experience from the adult side. 

Sam is out getting pizza, and all the times they’ve had pizza, I never really saw what Sam likes on his. Apparently both he and Dean like lots of pepperoni. Good choice boys! The joy is short-lived (of course) by Donatello’s call, and Dean and Mary go off to help. I loved Sam sitting there researching. I have always loved his look of interest and concentration during these times. Smart!Sam moment #1 he figures out the language is ancient Hebrew, #2 he has the moment of realization that he knows it’s from the Bible, and knows what chapter and verse. (demerits for the writers though for not knowing Peter is in the New Testament and is in Ancient Greek, not Hebrew, but kudos for Sam/Jared for at least knowing the book is located near the back of The Bible)

Mom and Dean in the car. Now we have the talk about how wrong she knows she’s been but how appreciative she is to have this time with him and Sam. Uhoh... sounds like lines typically given to a character who is soon to be killed off? Hmmm we’ll see. Soon they arrive at Donny’s to find Nick. He says he's poisoned Donny and to save him, they have to help him. He wants to talk. 

Back at the bunker, violent rage!Sam awaits!! GOD that gave me tingles in the best way! I loved Dean leading Nick down the hall in cuffs, in slow motion as if leading him to his execution, and Sam standing there with his chest puffed out like a friggin’ bulldozer, and the snarl and slam attack against the wall!! (hand me that towel, please??) Dean backs Sam off, lots of brother touching going on, but we need intel, we can't kill him yet. 

Now Sam is in self-loathing mode.... he thinks everything is his fault. So many people dying because of him. This is gonna be a big issue soon, I promise. Mom talks Sam off the self-deprecating ledge and tells him he gave Nick another chance because he’s a good man and that's why she’s so proud of him. Sam softens up into the sweetest “aww shucks ma” smile and I want to hug him💕 also, still lines are being spoken by mom that are synonymous with being killed off.

Now, I procrastinated talking about Cas and Anael because the whole thing was boring. I'm not a wife hater but at least make her necessary if you’re going to cast her. I was ok about her role as Sister Jo for Devil’s Bargain but she hasn't been necessary since. Cas wasn't even necessary in this episode. We knew he was hiding the fact that Jack killed the snake, and there are probably 1000 other ways they could have reminded us that the Samulet is still around and maybe they can use it, than for him to find a similar one in the thrift shop or whatever that place was. I dug Methuzula though, he was the oldest dude in the Bible. He wasn’t an angel, for any of you worried about him liking lasagna or why he couldn't just smite Cas... its because he's HUMAN just extremely old. 

On to more interesting things. 

Nick wants to talk to Jack. I was not pleased with Nick referring to Jack as his son. Im not 100% convinced that the writer (and all involved really) remembered that Jack isnt Nick’s son, but added that as a note of empathy Nick has for Lucifer, you’d THINK someone, particularly Jack would say “Im not your son” ?? but anyway, he gives intel to Jack and also gets his blood (dun dun dunnnn) 

Sam is again a smarty pants and knows the antidote for Thalium is Prussian Blue (makes note) and figures he can hack the live feed (brains are so sexy) I also love that Sam’s word is the go word. So many more decisions are made because Sam thinks its the best option than he's ever given for in the fandom. So Sam and Dean take Nick with them to find Donny. 

I really love the broments in this part. Dean tells Nick if he tries anything funny, Sam will shoot him. “And if anything happens to me....” “Sam will shoot me”  “To start!” says Sam... because if he hurts Dean, Sam isnt letting him off that easy. But in true SPN form, as soon as Sam and Dean are separated, shit goes south.

Mom calls Sam and lets him know Donny was shot up with Angel grace, as Jack figured out, Nick was playing them. Now the fight between Sam and Nick ensues! Nick tells Sam why he used Donatello, which was to bring Lucifer back, “You can't, he’s dead he’s in the Empty” Sam says but this show’s self-awareness gets me sometimes lol Nick’s like “Cmon Sam you know no one stays dead anymore” and Sam starts kicking his ass. 

Now, I have already seen a million of you whine and complain that Sam didn’t kill Nick. It’s almost as though some of you have never met Sam Winchester. Of course Sam could have killed Nick, and most of us wish he did, but Sam has stopped himself from killing humans before. He stopped himself with Jake in AHBL and also with Toni in 12x01. Unfortunately it always bites him in the ass. Could it be that Sam thinks if he can kill a human with his bare hands that he’s a monster? This isn’t bad writing folks, this is Sam’s character. 

Nick takes advantage of Sam’s hesitation and starts nailing him with a rock. Spewing crap about Sam being Lucifer’s Perfect vessel and such.... this can only mean that issue will be coming up soon! Sam gets in the car and starts laying on the horn for Dean, calling out to him... Dean hears Sam is in trouble, enough playing around here time to kill some demons. 

When he gets to Sam. he sees he’s badly injured. Sam can hardly hold on to consciousness, protective!dean kicks in! Apply preasure to the blled, call 911, call mom. Now check for brain damage and play a counting game with Sam This hurt my feels so much, it made it feel so much more serious than all the other head injuries he’s sustained. Dean and his caring big brother smile and light hearted speech so Sam doesnt panic just kills me in the best way!! Sam tries to count with him a little and breaks into “You always put me first... your whole life” and manages to muster a little smile. Dean knows Sam believes he’s checking out, and you see the fear all over Dean’s face as Sam fades away. (OMG these 2!! Every freakin time!!)

Meanwhile, Mary and Jack found Nick and he has summoned Lucifer and just about to take him in again (Lucifer looked pretty cool,,, gotta say) and Jack zaps Lucifer back into the rift (no not forever guys... cmon) and starts torturing Nick. Mary kinda flips out telling Jack to stop. He’s contorting his hand, burning him from the inside out... not simply killijng him. Mary is full on worried now. Jack stops and Nick is laying on the floor. Mary is in shock and tells Jack to go help Sam, He heals him and Dean cant even hide his relief as he turns away to catch his breath. 

Now Jack returns to Mary who is more than worried about how Jack was torturing Nick. We know the Winchesters dont mind killing, but draw the line at torture. However, Mary stupidly poked the bear. She could have just kept herself and Jack calm and talked to the boys later, but she poked and poked till Jack freaked out. Though I am wondering if Jack was also hearing Lucifer when he was shouting “Leave me alone!!” But in any regard, he looked at Mary and something happened. Fade to black. 

Aside from the Cas/Anael part, I really enjoyed this episode. A few issues yes, but it hit most of the marks needed for me to enjoy an episode. Ive already rewatched it twice and will again and again. 

On a scale of Bloodlines to Lebanon, I give this a strong 7.5 without the Cas/Anael bit it would have been an easy 8.

[coreytaylr]

do all the cat asks!!!!!!!

1. Name?- Pici and Mocsok

2. Fur color?- Pici is tricolor, Mocsi is tuxedo!!!

3. Any family you know (other than you)?- i dont know what this means tbh??

4. Age?- Pici is 2 yrs old, turning 3 in March and Mocsi is 4 yrs old, turning 5 in May (oh my god he’s so old!!)

5. Favorite toy?- neither of them really give a shit about toys no matter how many we buy them so :(

6. Nicknames?- i call Pici Babey or Picúr, and Mocsok’s nickname is Mocsi (or bastard)

7. Cinnamon roll or problematic fave?- both of them are both kjsdfksdjf like, i think Pici is the sweetest lady that ever existed, while everyone else thinks she’s the spawn of satan; and w Mocsi, its the other way around, i know the shit he’s done, but everyone else thinks he’s an angel

8. Length of fluff?- normal length for both of them i guess??

9. Any funny habits?- oh man ksjddf Pici likes to announce before she goes in the litterbox and does her business and its the funniest thing ksdjfdskf- Mocsi .. is just not the brightest cat to ever lived, so when he wants to go outside, he will stand in front of the door and meow and scratch at it, and if you open it for him, he doesnt go out but just stands there and stares.. and he just won’t move if you dont nudge him

10. How old were they when you met?- we got Mocsi when he was around 4-6 months old, and Pici has been w us since the day she was born (literally akjfsdf her mother was my cat too)

11. What does their food bowl look like?- they have three bowls: one for the dry food, one for Mocsi, which is a little bigger, blue bowl w a cat’s head drawn inside of it; and Pici just has a basic aluminium one

12. Indoor or outdoor cat?- Pici is a strictly indoor cat as of last year’s summer, Mocsi is kind of like a mix? he is allowed to be outside w/o a harness (i know i dont like it either), but he comes in at night

13. Recent picture?

14. Old picture?

(Pici was only a few months old here

15. Cuddly?- YES YES YES

16. Ever changed their name?- yeah actually, Pici started out as Maki (which means monkey, basically) bc her meows sounded like monkey noises??

18. Eye color?- they both have yellow eyes!

19. How do they express love for you?- they purr and come into my lap, or sleep beside me. Pici likes to stand on my laptop blocking the screen. Mocsi likes to headbutt me, almost breaking my nose

20. How do you express love for them?- i pet them and cuddle up to them, pick em up and hold them in my arms - just the usual

21. Any theories on what breed?- nah, nothing they are just typical house cats

22. Do they ever wake you up?- YEAH Mocsi almost suffocated me way back when, by trying to sleep on my face asdhfklsdf

23. How much do they meow?- Mocsi only meows when he wants food or wants to go outside, so not much. on the other hand, Pici is very vocal (and has an attitude too) and i really really like it !!!

24. Any hiding spots?- hm. not really? or maybe under the bed or table

25. Do they enjoy guests?- Mocsi LOVES new people!!!! he will make friends w everyone and anyone. Pici…not so much (same)

26. Lofty objects to sit on?- we have this huge ass wall-to-wall closet in the living room which is p tall, they like to sleep there. otherwise, they just like to sit on tables

27. Wear a collar?- nah not since Mocsi almost suffocated himself w one

28. How much shedding?- Mocsi is alright, but Pici is a disaster

29. Do they enjoy brushing?- no:((

30. Ever drink from the toilet?- no????, but Mocsi does like to sit on it when the lid is closed dont ask

31. How do they get your attention?- by meowing? but i literally always pay attention to them so

32. Embarrassing thing they’ve done?- Mocsi almost suffocating himself w a collar or running headfirst into the wall. Pici’s p graceful so idk

33. Weirdest thing they try to eat?- Mocsi really likes potatoes for some reason?? and Pici always tries to eat my food

34. Are they like your siblings, children, or friends?- THEY ARE MY BABIES

35. What time do they eat breakfast?- after i wake up, so it depends

36. Do you cut their nails?- we only cut Pici’s nails (when we remember it)

37. Do you think they understand you?- i dont think Mocsok knows anything about this world tbh but im like 99% sure Pici understands everything

38. Ever make fun of them?- oh yeah. a lot.

39. Do you take their picture often?- everytime im home

40. Ever hiss at you?- Pici did!! i tried to take away a bird she caught

41. Ever try to scratch or bite you?- yea, but its all fun and games 

42. If you try to grab their paw, what do they do?- Mocsok doesnt give a flying fuck, Pici takes it away

44. Canned or dry food?- both

45. Weight?- Mocsi is 6 kgs, Pici is 2 kgs. according to google thats 13 lbs and and 4 lbs respectively

46. Ever got lost?- there were times when i was really worried bc Pici didnt come home in time, but they never got lost, no.

47. Do you buy them presents?- YES. just the other day i saw like, wine for pets?? and i really wanted to buy it but my mother didnt let me ://///

48. Do they respond when you call?- Pici does. im pretty sure Mocsok doesnt know what his name is

49. Do they ever see other cats?- yea. my brother has a cat too, so they usually see him, but who knows how many cats Mocsi sees when he’s outside

50. Declawed?- FUCK NO

51. Funniest expression?

52. Favorite place to be pet?- Pici likes it if you like….rub both sides of her face? and Mocsi likes chin scratches

54. Give them a head kiss.- next time i see them, i will !!!!!

55. What time of the year is most exciting for them?- i think its pretty neutral all throughout the year

56. Are they good at hunting real prey?- Pici was real good at it, she could catch birds mid-fly. Mocsok? nah.. he can barely eat his own food ksajfkdsf

57. Do they ever attack nothing?- attack? no. stare at it until i freak out? yeah

58. What are they doing right now?- idk im not at home :(( but its probably sleepy time

59. How long have you had them?- Mocsok for 3,5 years or so, and Pici, as ive said, has been w me since day 1

60. If you could have them stay as a kitten forever, would you?- i dont think so? i love them just the way they are

63. Have you ever stepped on their paw?- no but i did sit on both of theirs kasjkfsdf

64. Ever tripped you on stairs?- we dont have stairs so no

65. Any ear hair?- yeah!!! both of them have some

66. Favorite view from a window?- Pici just likes to spy the people who are on the street. Mocsi doesnt seem to know how to get to the window no matter how much he tries

67. Describe why they are precious.- i mean this whole post is basically about that kskdsf they are just goofy assholes who like to run around and fight each other. and sit/sleep on tables. and my laptop. 

68. Fit the cat stereotype?- Pici definitely does. Mocsok is like a dog in a cat’s body tbh

69. Chaotic neutral?- 100%

70. Do they enjoy following/ keeping you company?- oh dude yes, i cant even shower w/o them scratching at the door

71. Are you their favorite human?- i am definitely Pici’s favorite, but not Mocsi’s :’(((((

72. Do they like tv?- awwwwwwwwwwwwwww Pici used to watch cartoons when she was little, then she started watching like animal planet documentaries about big cats!!! but she lost interest. now she just likes to watch the things i watch on yt (her favorite is jacksepticeye. even if she’s asleep, she will wake up if she hears his intro. she would also like come up to me and meow at jack akjsdkjdsf its so cute)

73. Favorite noise to make?- i mean…purring…hellooo

74. If they were a Neko Atsume cat, what would their momento be?- pass

[unproduciblesmackdown]

Hi!! So this is an honest question so i hope it doesnt come off as rude or anything- but doesn't the thought that everything you post here can be reblogged make you more reserved or anything? Idk how to explain it but whenever i wanna post something here i think about doing it for a super long time to be sure i want it to possibly be on the internet forever- but i see you're comfortable with sharing pretty personal stuff so i was just wondering if it affected you any way or maybe it was just me?

lmaooo it’s cool!!! there’s an unending AMA going on here and off the top of my head i can’t think of anything off-limits to ask about

it’s definitely not just you!! out of the ppl i know off the top of my head i’m probably really far and away doing the Most airing my bullshit. if you ultimately don’t like the idea of stuff just kinda sitting around to be seen by Anyone, that’s valid and there’s no problem with feeling like that makes you wanna Not Post some stuff

like this is especially true for young teens on the soche media…hell i just entirely threw out the blog i’d had from like 14 -18, and not because i was particularly embarrassed or anything, it just felt mostly obsolete. you can become someone so different in even one year and that’s fine and you might not want Old Venting and the like just sitting around out there. it’s definitely okay to be real private about that kinda stuff

i know sometimes ppl having sorta Compromises where maybe they’ll create a second blog / account specifically for talking abt personal stuff, and then only maybe allow friends (or nobody) to access it; or people will just tag everything with Delete Later and then go back and delete it later so it’s not out there forever, or just because they find it embarrassing soon afterwards lol

for my part, there’s definitely multiple reasons i pretty much don’t care

1. i never used to Vent post back in the early days. but one of my earliest examples maybe was this sudden essay i dumped on my blog when i was 16? 17? abt how unhappy i was at home. it took me till i was 18 to really start to realize that what i’d always lived with was literally abuse, and it was things like The Sudden Venting Essay that really helped me put it all into words and be able to organize my thoughts enough to write about it and realize that there was a lottttt of shit i was rly miserable about2. ever since then really i’ve found that when i write about something, whether messaging it to someone or just posting it in general, a ton of times it helps me kinda make connections or figure something out or just feel like i have a better grasp on an idea.3. even after i started maybe doing the occasional venting post, for a long time i was really hesitant about it, but this was mostly b/c i felt like i didn’t have ~real~ enough problems and/or nobody would really care. as for the former, well yesterday i was saying how i still have this underlying feeling that i’m an imposter / don’t count / not REALLY as ___ as other people or whatever, so i’m still working on that, but it definitely doesn’t upset me as much as it might back in the day. re: the latter—tbh i dont care if nobody cares. i write abt personal shit b/c i care. my entire blog is About and Because i care, and if other people care, great, if they don’t, ok.4. a lot of this is about having compassion for myself. i don’t look down on other people for making personal posts, so i don’t look down on myself, either. 5. more self-compassion: there’s probably olden text posts from the early days of this blog that don’t even sound like me coz my Outer Demeanor has changed a lot these past 5 or 2 or 1 yrs. but even if i stumbled across some Old Post of mine and was like “lmfao whats up w THIS loser” it’s like….well, i’m sympathetic to my Earlier Selves. this applies to like, me never deleting Late Night Sad Posts or whatever (even tho nowadays they’re never exactly like i’m upset, maybe just Melancholy or in a mood to talk abt something saddish) coz i’m like, well, even though rn i don’t feel like i Need this post, back then i did feel like venting to feel better! and that’s fine. i don’t find that embarrassing. it’s like if you’re thirsty on one day and you drink some water and at some random point during the next evening when you’re not thirsty you think back on that time you were drinking water and you’re like “wow, embarrassing.” well clearly its not a perfect analogy but the point is sometimes you might feel you need to talk, and sometimes you don’t, and both times are ok. its not an embarrassment to have been upset6. this blog is the most personal thing in the world for me lmao its my Main social media presence, goes back five yrs, and for like. well the whole five years its been what keeps me from being way more isolated than i am. irl friends have been long distance this whole time (save a couple exceptions) and mostly my way to talk to ppl has been on here. this was especially important when i was at my parents house for a couple yrs. it was fairly awful and being able to be in touch w ppl and being able to SAY it was awful was clearly important, and i became more inclined to write abt shit rather than hold myself back b/c my being able to say anything was important7. i still talk about things b/c being able to say anything here to people in the outside world is important8. i can’t be like “i cant talk abt this b/c its not important/interesting enough” coz if i did i wouldn’t talk abt anything. i just write b/c i have things to say, and this is my pointless blog9. i don’t expect i’ll ever become Well Known in any circles. for me the more likely concern is kinda disappearing either due to dying or incarceration or some other shit scenario. the times i talk on here are good b/c that hasnt happened yet and i have the option10. even if i did become well known, i don’t really care.11. also for uh…all the times i was living in my parents house thru my life i was really really isolated. for eons i was used to nobody knowing shit abt me and keeping p much all my thoughts to myself. nowadays this blog is what lets me be able to sorta Known and Seen and able to get in touch w ppl if we wanna. basically, there’s nothing TOO personal. i’m not even trying to push myself to “overshare” coz like i said, p much nothing is offlimits. i’ve just had a lifetimes worth of being very invisible and unknown to anyone12. actually i can still be very cagey abt myself in person. learning to be more open On Here is a bit helpful for that. 13. idk that anyone else would give a shit about old vent posts from me either. when i talk abt me im talking abt *me*, its really not even vaguely interesting when removed even one degree from that specific context. 14. maybe there’s the chance some shit will happen to be Relatable to other ppl and somehow helpful to them15. for example, a lot of how i realized i was actually experiencing abuse for real was thru anecdotal / qualitative posts abt it. sometimes there’s shit you think is Just You only b/c nobody else who it applies to is talking about it yknow16. maybe making it seem less a big deal to talk abt your bullshit if i unapologetically talk abt my bullshit17. i remember my younger self feeling like i didnt ~deserve~ to talk abt my own thoughts & feelings the way other ppl did coz mine weren’t as good, so i kinda do it for them / in celebration of no longer feeling that way18. i actually like to talk. i just usually can’t. irl i very very very very rarely talk at length about myself, i don’t talk much at all. for me this is where i get to talk19. hmm i may have skipped or forgotten something obvious but hey. for now, there’s this. no-limits milo they call me

[nanshe-of-nina]

People of the Caroline phase of the Hundred Years War as dril tweets

Edward III of England: im a marine & accomplished scholar. my sons were alchemized into helicopter fuel to serve their armed brothers. how dare u post penis to me.

Charles V de France: the Digimon Otis peace treaty will hence be frozen in piss and thrown onto the freeway where itll shatter into one million despicable pieces

Richard II of England: i rise; spreading my arms, exuding fluorescent spheres of energy, each representing an Unfollower, Cuasing me a great deal of pain,Screaming

Charles VI de France: how to convince my uncles to combine into one superuncle so that i only have to buy one christmas card? how to do it? how to ddo this? how

Edward the Black Prince: #worstfeeling dying of dehydration caused by diarrhea in a third world nation ravaged by warfare with no doctors #bestfeeling halo 4 odst

Joan of Kent: my big sons have made a mess of the garage again after being riled up by the good word of the Lord.

Lionel of Antwerp, 1st Duke of Clarence: someone please. ive bitten into a nasty apple and I don’t know how to spit things out of my mouth. ivr never spit before and i need help.

Louis Iᵉʳ, duc d’Anjou: me and the boys pooled together our total life savings of $1789.34 in a last ditch effort to rescue the failing quiznos brand from the brink

Marie de Blois: never brought this up due to Trolls, but my son is set to graduate from ITT tech next semester after 8 years of hard work and im very proud.

John of Gaunt, 1st Duke of Lancaster: im not cut out to be a content producer!! fuck thtis!! i want to go back to just looking at everyone else’s content and nodding if its good

Constanza de Castilla: abusing my vile neighbors by putting leaflets around which state that i am now to be referred to as “Daddy’s Golden Goose”.

Jehan, duc de Berry: ACCOUNTANT: I Just don’t know how you can justify donating $700 to “Chips Ahoy” ME: i hope your car flips & becomes your fucking firey grave

Edmund of Langley, 1st Duke of York: damn it to piss. my wife replaced all of my anti-wife reading materials with Pro-Wife bullshit

Isabel de Castilla: I Just Want 2 Have Sex On This Site All The Time With Out Havin To Argue With Peopl And Deal With People Cryin And Shit #WiseWordsToLiveBy

Philippe II, duc de Bourgogne: the first step to becoming a Millionaire is to acquire one hundred dollars

Thomas of Woodstock, 1st Duke of Gloucester: when you do sutuff like... shoot my jaw clean off of my face with a sniper rifle, it mostly reflects poorly on your self

Henry Bolingbroke: DAD: your baby brothers missing, please put down the controller. help us find him ME: Did u read the news. Gaming is a legitinmate hobby now

Louis, duc d’Orléans: my uncle called me a Loser on television way before this guy’;s uncle did it @cnn @reuters @infowars @gameinformer

Edward of Norwich, 2nd Duke of York: my cousin was charged with arson(Bullshit) , and i was thinking we could all help out by drawing up some memes to display in his prison cell.

Pope Innocent VI: i am above choosing sides here. i hope they either become friends & cancel the match, or beat each other completely to death simultaneously ....

Isabelle de Valois, duchesse de Bourbon: my son has been combing his hair without permission. how do i cope with the pain.

John Chandos: i truly hate winning the infamous “Darwin Award” by getting bombarded with artillery fire in the Super K-Mart parking lot

Bertrand du Guesclin: PEOPLE MAG: which pop culture icon are u going to Slaughter next... ME: I have set my sights on “The Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy of Company B.”

William of Wykeham: im sorry but, when you people reply to my posts with things like “Fuck you” and “Fuck your Account” it makes me look like a real dumb ass.

Robert Knolles: spend a lot of time thinking about how sometimes even war criminals can be heroes sometimes... Dont like it? Click the unfollow buttobn

Jehan III de Grailly: JUDGE: i'll commute 10 yrs from ur sentence if you kiss my gavel ME: no. i will do the time i deserve and thats the truth and also nuff said

Arnaud de Cervole: i spend lots of time thinking about how many of my depraved, miserable followers would murder me if they could get away with it #SocialMedia.

Owen Lawgoch: oh nothin, i was just buying some ear medication for my sick uncle... *LOWERS SHADES TO LOOK YOU DEAD IN THE EYE* who's a Model by the way,

Seguin de Badefol: id like to report a hacker. he offered me 1000000 to show my dick and didnt cough up the dough when i delivered the goods. i got hacked

Louis II, comte de Flandre: I will be your Father. I will take you as my Son and teach you the ways of online. We will hold hands as our follower count reaches infinity.

Gaston III, comte de Foix: my disrespectful teen son somehow got hold of a gluten product and now he wants to become a cat girl

Charles II de Navarre: everyone on this site thinks they’re hard core but i bet if they took poison to weaken their bodies i would win fights against them handily

Jehan II, comte d’Armagnac: as a small business owner i think its bulshit that i have to give 30% of my income to Spain just because obama lost a swordfight to some Fag.

Jehan Froissart: im rwriting a script about a smart and handsome army man cop who murders civilians but wants to stop murdering civilians because hes in love.

Arnaud Amanieu, seigneur d’Albret: im good old southern boy and we dont cotton to bollocks .

John Minsterworth: its me again, from the website. admit that the berenstain bears are for adults or i will strategically headbutt your father to death.

Jehan IV, duc de Bretagne: my trolls & detractors all have gross mental issues. they love drama and are all jealous of my precious army man blood #truth #SorryNotSorry.

Peter de la Mare: come. I SHall lead the charge against corrupt Game developers, (Falls face forward ansd a variety of ass medicines spill out of my clothing).

Enrique de Trastámara: i am only here to field questions regarding my presidential bid. i will not discuss my ongoing project, tentatively titled “Aids Mario.”

Pedro I de Castilla: have you ever wanted to click X on a bastard

Tiphaine Raguenel: THE SUN THE MOON AND THE STARS ARE ALL TOO SMUG FOR MY LIKING

Olivier V de Clisson: unloading an entire belt of ammo at me with a minigun or some such device will now get you “Blocked”

Louis II, duc de Bourbon: may god help you if you trip your feet against my handsome bulk while i am sitting on the floor looking at Depression things on my tablet pc.

Jehan de Vienne: for every year that He is not featured in Forbes Magazine as the worlds richest man... GOD will sink one of our battle ships

Louis de Sancerre: i dress as a medieval knight and pummel my metal body with cymbals to get all 59 of my pit dogs riled up before i fling lawn chairs at them

John Hastings, 2nd Earl of Pembroke: my favorite feature of this site is absolutely no consequences for my opinions sucking ffucking ass and me being 100% wrong about everything

Pierre de Craon: the facts are thuis: i accidentally did benghazi while trying to steal nfl broadcasts and im sorry about it. this is a stressful year for me.

Alice Perrers: (sniffing a crumpled up one dollar bill i found on the floor of a dog kennel) ah.. thats greenbacks baby

Ambrosio Boccanegra: somebody please Bribe me

[amma-af]

mid-life crisis fast approaching lmao.

bruh moesha made 30 seem hella old. im freaking 29, im definitely not old.

do all 30 year olds feel this? is this fucking cliche? is this what being a millenial feels like?

freaking. andell seems like she should be at least 45 shes had a business forever, she looks oldish, hella independent with ehr own moneey, yeah she keeps getting played by her lover but the d is probably great and she doesn’t need “love” bc she’s not dependent on it for basic necessities. but she needs love so she has hope. she’s woke but understanding when someone who doesn’t understand yet. she supports the kids but says it like it is. i can def see some bits of myself in her but bruh, at least 35? bc im 29 and 1 im not as independent, and 2, im def not as old.

but i also kind of get how shes a 30 year old but do 30 year olds get the respect of older people? does andell get respect from older people? idk man tv makes teens look like 20-something and 30 eyar olds look like my mom. dee hangs with andell, she’s def not 30. but then again we hang with older people, no?

are 30 year olds friends-ish with teens and like older folks all at once a millenial thing? i mean i def have older friends bc of work, and hang with my siblings who are a generation older and as a teacher i talk to kids who are teens but i wouldn’t be friends with them? unless you consider my nieces and nephews, and some much younger coworkers.

but if im “superior” to them in some way im basically a mentor and ugh. maybe andell is 30.

that same moesha episode has gotten me thinking about highschool. and what a fucking shitfest it was. i mean, why the hell was i so pressed instead of just being a fucking kid? like, i def ended up where i wanted to and realized it sucked even more (college), esp the way i did it initially, but once i got over the fucking ivory tower and american dream bc i reallized it was never made to include me to a certain extent (the whole identity crisis over foreclosure of identity from the every day--being unwanted by the same thing interpellating its allegiance to you, how all that crap felt of being a --insert almost every pressed identity grouping here-- at a fucking --insert ever agrandized fucking included, repressive identity force here--insitution. high school wasn’t bougie enough i think. like everyone was like closer to the ground class wise so maybe it didnt feel like a big enough ocean yet. a friend told me post highschool or maybe at graduation that im going to be the big fish in the little pond trying to swim in the ocean or some quote like that. fucking i was, if not socially which i honestly didnt even try and fucking got ostracized from anyway, def on top academically and fucking TEACHERS were trying to push me down but like i still got to exactly where i wanted to go. and i fucking had a wonderful time there. got kicked out but became a whole ass human being who found so many homes with people and so many loving arms and caring friends and fucking insane moments and memories and fucking became who i am today--a fucking cool as andell like adult with a full and complete social life if not financial or career life like im ok dude. ive accomplished enough even if capitalist might make me feel like i havent accomplished anything. much like the racist ass teachers made me feel and the racist ass kids made me feel about being smart in a fucking shitfest and where the other brown kids were just in competition with me. i had no friends. i lie, i had a few. and i had the respect of a few. and i guess that makes like maybe a dozen people--hold on let me count, i think 9 people, that im cool with from high school, 3 who are close to me, 1 who fucking hates me post-college life and would try to talk shit or ruin me maybe but i miss her and we were fucking close at some point. and then a bunch of people who probably dont give a shit no longer bc we’re all adults who need to move on with our lives. i hope theyre not petty and hate me just bc of high school.

i wonder if any respect me now lol. aside from those i know, do any of them like feel bad kind of for not being a better person to me? maybe i was a bitch too though. but thats only bc i was lowkey power hungry and just wanted to get into fucking the college of my dreams and had been fed that academic success led to fianncial success and overall joy de vivre  or however oyu fucking spell it.

id still be down to be friends with whoever wants but dont have the time or energy to deal with the pettiness. i think this year was supposed to be our 10 yr reunion and idk if theyll do it bc of covid or not but fucking would i even wanna go? im still so traumatized from it idk if id wanna be judged that hard again.

fucking, i wish i was chiller back then. had realized i could be creative and look good and be more confident if i wanted to. but i guess i wouldnt be who i am had that shit not happened but i also suffer from extreme anxiety adn depression now so like maybe, people could ease up on the judgement and hatred and constant barriers and shit talking and like, lowkey bullying down a notch. these white and white washed brown kids had me fucked up.

i wish i had just like, been able to chill and be accepted a little more. but i wish the people who were chill with me couldve been more  comfortable or confident in being who they were. 

i remember ending freshman year, confident that i would have friends at the end of high school sitting between the coolest and queerest two people i could imagine showing off my hot pink ipod 3G or whatever. and then hanging out in the city with a few people on the last day. i dont even remember what we did. maybe olive garden in times square? it was def times square. the big toys r us in the city with the dance dance revolution. who the fuck were the people with us? was that even freshman year or is that a memory from some other time? i dotn fucking remember much of the good times in high school anymore. more shitty times.

but fucking, if people had been loyal would i have been a diff person? def s j and j and then later n but w during the first year and d all hugn out with me in college. and made freshman year bareable and some sitll continue to make life bareable and for me to feel loved in this day adn age adn i know the freindshipsare genuine now but i wonder if id have more people from high school as my friends just bc i fucking get attached to people bc of the whole empathy thing and like we knew eachother for good chunks of our lives, we should keep up with eachother and make sure we’re ok. but also like, did we even show care back then?

i wish id lived the teen life a little more though. like my husband did. like so many of my more normal than me feeling friends did but i wonder how many of my college friends actually liked their high school years lmao.

fucking. whatever. i probably wouldnt go to the reunion if it happened tho, fucking miss me with that shit.

andell is cool. she didnt get mad at moesha for missing her party since hs ehad a great time on her birthday thanks to her, and instead was proud that she put out a good newspaper. im def like, maybe if aliha missed my party id be happy and proud of her for her acocmplioshed but id still be pouty adn idk if that makes me much younger tahn andell or if thats just the whiny cancer gemini in me.

omg we need andells chart to udnerstand if she’s actually 30 lmao and just mature for her own age or if that show is trippig about depicting her as 30 bc shes def oldr. wonder how old the actress was.

thats an easy google fix but im just gonna keep watching and pondering lmao.

man there were some teachers at that fucking school who did not wanna see me succeed in life. and to have your advisor be that teacher really fucks with you. what a fucking bitch i think she hated me. the other people im friends with loved her tho but i think she was really just a racist. she pushed me hard but made things harder for me for no reason. thank god i got out of there in one piece, and with some confidence left in me. 

i need to go to therapy again fuck. 

[klance]

Do you have any good klance fics?

wow so this is extrememememmememmememllylyllylyyyyyy late lol like no kidding i think 2 of these messages have been sitting in my inbox for who knows how long….and ive gotten requests to do fic recs post since like. the beginning of this blog lol. but here i am almost a yr later sup guys

so ill go ahead and only list my top 5 because out of the 46248678282 fics ive probably read these are the most memorable ones for me…..there are more but they are either unfinished or i jut genuinely do not remember the title/author because i am a mess lol….so here goes!

never been kissed by kairiolette

“You give off the obnoxious popular vibe. The mullet, and the rap sheet, and—the fingerless gloves,” Lance replies, and barrels on before Keith can take it the wrong way. “I’m so handsome, my name’s Keith and I’m a pilot.”

“That sounds more like a compliment than an insult,” Keith says slowly, a disdainful quirk to his eyebrows that only spurs Lance on. He tilts his head a bit, his bangs shadowing his face, like he’s assessing a particularly impossible physics problem. “And I don’t like that voice you’re using.”

by far my #1 fave fic….not only because it is so GOOD but because i remember this was the very first klance fic i read i actually forgot the title/author for the longest time and i couldnt find it again until recently and im sooo happy i did

nothing’s quite as sweet by dimpleforyourthoughts

Keith is a barista who hates his job. Lance works at the cat shelter across the street.

read all 50k word glory in one sitting and i dont regret it

try if you can by aknightley

Keith has liked Lance for so long that you’d think he’d be used to this by now.

“Oh my god,” Shiro whispers incredulously. “You’re ridiculous.”

Keith doesn’t even want to know what expression is on his face for Shiro to say something like that, but he can’t help it.

one of many awesome pining fics!

i’ll be waiting right here by queenfrog

Keith sighs and runs a hand through his already tousled hair. “I mean, we’ll just take the rings off and that’ll be it. No big deal.”

“No big deal?” Lance squawks, sounding slightly hysterical now. “No big deal?” He stands up quickly and waves his ring finger in front of Keith’s face. “Keith, we said vows. I’m pretty sure that’s the very definition of a big deal.”

Keith and Lance get married. Accidentally.

read this the other day actually and it was…..so….good……so much pining……..

got got got it bad by kairiolette

“He leans in to hook his arm around Keith’s shoulders in full. It’s right in Keith ear, when he speaks. “I have a crush on someone new, like, every week.”

“No—it’s not someone.” Keith brings his head up, and it feels as heavy on his neck as if it were his center of gravity, and he meets Lance’s eyes with his own. Keith doesn’t mean to communicate something through their silence, he just kind of gets caught up in staring at Lance’s face, which tends to happen lately. Sharp features, cheekbones and chin. Impossible eyes and a loud mouth as expressive as his eyebrows. But Lance seems to come to some understanding on his own. He sits back in a rare, rare moment of speechlessness, that mouth of his slightly pursed and twitching in its search for words in what can only be, though Keith doesn’t know much about body language, immense confusion on the brink of realization.”

Or: Keith acknowledges his feelings for Lance and promptly goes through the five stages of grief.

i had to list this authors other klance fic i swear their writing is godly lol

i think thats it....! yeah sorry this is so short but i wanna hope my fic rec tag makes up for it !! lol if i remember any other fics i really wanted to mention ill edit them here but other than that here u go! pretty sure most (all?) have been other lists too but oh well ahhh

p.s. PLS SEND ME FIC RECS!! i am always always looking for other good fics lol

[wlw-teens-blog]

idk if i can ask you bc im not sure if im wlw and im not a teen? im 20 and never dated nor kissed anyone, and havent had a crush in yrs and i used to id as aroace but now im not sure? like both boys and girls can be a bit confusing so ive had "what if im..." with every orientation possible and now i prefer questioning. i fear im pretending possibly being gay bc its cool on tumblr and no one will like a str8 or aroace and few of my irl friends are gay. and i know that religion fucked me up (1/?)

bc i was taught that anything that is not a marital sex is bad so i still feel a lot of shame upon discovering late in life that i enjoy having orgasms or i can feel horny. i dont live with my parents but my mom still asks me every sunday if i went to the church and i cant lie to her so i go, sit there for an hour even tho i dont take the communion. i would also feel shame if i went agnostic and also what if god is real and has as strict rules as catholicism and im a doomed sinner? (2/?)

(3/3) and also idk if im ace bc for many yrs i genuinely did not have any attraction but now idk? and the acecourse makes me feel like itd be bad to be ace too. basically both tumblr and religion made me so confused and idk if i want to discover my true identity even if it is somewhere there. i have been feeling just Bad about myself recently and im asking yall bc i saw your post on my dash and i feel like i finally had to let it all out.

it’s alright, we’re always here to help. but if you think that you’re pretending about being gay, you most likely aren’t - that’s how i was as well. you can still be wlw and religious as well, and if you are then your god should love you despite anything. and if you’re ace then that’s absolutely not a bad thing, if that’s a label you feel comfortable with then you should keep it. please know that all this questioning is so hard but it won’t last forever and we’re always here for you if you need it

[lesbiansirius]

mutual(s) pining

a work brought to you by bunfox productions, aka yours truly and @lesbianremus! you can also read it on ao3, right here. big thanks to the lovely @nachodiablo who looked it over for us!

this is a prompt fill for the weekly prompt at @introvert-club. this week it was “internet crush”. anyone is welcome to participate, and use the tag #wolfstar introvert prompt for us to see! enjoy :) 

Some days, scrolling Tumblr is pretty boring. A flower, a transparent backpack, a dejected joke about depression, a dead Soundcloud link, nothing to inspire. Sirius is hunched over their laptop, watching the screen with their chin resting on their hand. A long discourse post they can’t be arsed to read, gifs from a show they don’t watch, and then.

Inspiration strikes.

It strikes in the form of two selfies. The person in them is standing in a sunny garden, curls spilling out from under a snapback, and smiling with their eyes closed. You can see lilacs blooming in the background. The person has freckles and a t-shirt with a whale on it, featuring the text “I’m a little overWHALEmed”. Same, Sirius thinks.

They click follow without even looking at the blog.

Remus squints at the tiny, seemingly innocuous, line of text on her dashboard. It’s sandwiched between a masterpost of transfeminine resources Lily’s reblogged (tagged #dead useful tbh #remus i told u joining tumblr wld be worth it) and a post from one of Lily’s friends about how Glinda the Good Witch is trans agenda (shows up at the beginning of Act 2 with a new name).

padfoot has started following you

Who the fuck is padfoot?

Remus quickly opens a new chat, typing in Lily’s url. She had made Lily show her how to do this chat business first, after changing the aesthetically horrifying default blog layout.

do u kno a padfoot

Lily, eternally both awake and online, replies immediately.

wtf is a padfoot

oooh hang on actually i think i do

???

ya they’re one of my mutuals. mostly posts vids of them singing and reblogs pics of animals, iirc

why are they following me??? i don't want to be followed!!

remus chill ffs. it’s not like stalking. they just see ur posts

i dont even have any posts! well except those pics marlene took that u INSISTED i put up here

ur welcome. i bet they think ur hot ;) ;)

hilarious.

remus when will u accept ur cute n give the people what they want!! (more selfies)

im unfollowing u

my dash would be more appealing w just the staff blog posts

im ignoring ur paltry attempts at threats. also, i just went and looked and ya i had the right person. u should check out their vids

why

its polite 2 at least LOOK at someone's blog if they follow u!! honestly remus my 86 yr old grandma is more social media savvy than u

Remus chooses not to reply to that. She does click on padfoot’s blog, though. Not because Lily suggested it, just because she’s curious. What about some boring pictures of her in a garden screamed ‘good content’ to this stranger? Maybe they’re really fond of lilacs, or something.

“What the fuck?” Remus says, glaring at the still shots of the youtube videos embedded on the page in front of her. Whoever padfoot is, they’re apparently unfairly attractive. Remus clicks play on the first video, half-hoping they’re an appalling singer to make up for the ridiculously good looks.

Two hours later, Remus’ phone buzzes, jolting her out of her Tumblr coma and back into reality.

did u die? Lily wants to know. Remus calls her.

“Why would you assume I’m dead?”

“I’ve been knocking on your door for the past ten minutes, asshole.”

“Oh,” Remus looks guiltily down at the headphones she’d put on three videos in.

“Well come open the door,” Lily gripes. “We’re late.”

*

“Can we be late for a thing that we scheduled between the two of us?” Remus points out, as Lily tugs her down the stairs. “You barely even gave me time to put on proper clothes,” she complains.

“We said pub at five. It’s not my fault you weren’t ready.”

“Actually,” Remus says with a self-righteous sniff, “it was. You’re the one who told me to check out padfoot’s blog.”

Lily pauses, looking over at Remus.

“Yeah, three hours ago.”

“Two and a half,” Remus mutters.

“Wow,” Lily smirks. “I knew they’d be your type.”

“Shut up,” Remus grumbles. “We’re going to be late for Weekly Lion’s Den Bitch & Moan.”

“I thought it was impossible to be late for something we scheduled between the two of us,” Lily says mockingly.

Remus walks off without her, ignoring the sound of Lily’s cackles following her down the street.

*

Sirius straightens up from the computer and looks for James. He’s in downward dog position in the kitchen area, because of course.

“Hey,” they say, “quick question.”

“I’ve told you a million times not to interrupt me while my arse is reaching for the sky.” James sounds a little strained, but he still manages to get in a sigh.

Sirius groans. “This is important!”

“More important than my spiritual health?” But James walks slowly into a forward fold, and Sirius waits for him to get upright, one vertebrae at a time. They tap their fingers against their laptop.

James reaches his hands up towards the sun – or in this case, the orange plastic lamp in their kitchen – then finally gives Sirius attention.

“Okay, what’s the quick question?”

“How long should you be mutuals with someone before casually striking up a friendship?” It’s probably not causal to even ask that literally two minutes after the person follows you back, but whatever.

James rolls up his mat and chuckles. “You’re talking to me, literally the least casual person this side of the equator.”

Sirius frowns. They’re used to James always giving advice. Admittedly, sometimes it’s bad advice, but nonetheless.

“You mean I have to use my own judgment? Eh.”

“When I’m your manager you’ll never have to do that,” James jokes.

Sirius doesn’t reply; they’re actually checking out the pretty stranger’s blog now. The title is ‘why are they forcing me to have a title’ and the bio just says ‘she/her’. The pictures are the only thing on the blog. Well, that didn’t exactly help. Tumblr friendships are usually based on mutual interest. Maybe they could strike up a conversation about lilacs?

“Okay, well, thanks for nothing,” they tell James. “I have nothing to go on, my crops are dying, and I haven’t even posted a video in a week.”

“But your crop tops are fine.” James winks and slumps down next to Sirius, looking over their shoulder at the mysterious whale person. “Wow, pretty.”

“I know! The only good thing on Tumblr today. I need more!”

“You need chill,” James says firmly. “Wanna go to the pub?”

Sirius closes the laptop decisively. “Always.”

“Let me change, I’ll be ready in a few.” James gets up, giving Sirius an unnecessarily detailed view of his ass in yoga pants. “And you should put on one of those crop tops.”

“But remember the last time you went out in yoga pants.” Sirius grins. “Worked out well, didn’t it?”

James shakes his head. “Not tonight, honey, I’m tired.”

“It’s hard work being popular.” Sirius shrugs.

They do take James’ advice to change into a crop top, because even if James isn’t up to being hit on, Sirius could use the validation. And they look fucking awesome in a crop top and fishnets.

It’s just a few days after payday, and the time of day when people are off work, so they only barely manage to get the last free booth. Sirius sits down on the edge of the sofa, strategically placing one leg over the other so they’re visible to the people who pass by. It might not be a whale pun or lilacs, but Sirius’ legs rarely fail them.

James returns with an ale for Sirius and his own awful lager with cordial in it. The pink makes it look pretty, but that’s its only redeeming feature in Sirius’ opinion. James sighs happily when he takes the first sip, though.

“Did I tell you about that movie I found the other day? It’s like a comedy about vampires and werewolves, it’s amazing.”

Sirius listens to James try to explain it, and they then spend a considerable amount of time discussing various vampire questions. Do they get boners, and how? Can vampires be vegan? Are there vampires working night jobs that no one knows about?

Their stomach is hurting from laughing by the time Sirius gets up to get a second round. When they get back, James isn’t alone.

*

Remus pushes the door open to The Drunk Carnation, holding it politely for Lily, in spite of what a pain she’s being today. It is Lily’s turn to buy the drinks, which cheers Remus up slightly. At least if she’s going to be mocked she can do it over some semi-expensive alcohol.

Once they’re seated, Remus quickly changes the subject away from Tumblr.

“So how’s your acting class going?”

“Pretty well,” Lily says, sipping at her Seven and Seven. “That creep still won’t stop asking me out.”

“I thought you were going to ask the cute clumsy one to pretend to be your boyfriend?”

Lily shrugs.

“I still might. It’s sort of hilarious watching him work up the nerve to talk to me, though. I’m not sure if I want to put him out of his misery yet.”

“You’re a cruel woman, Lily Evans.”

“Anyway,” Lily says, shrugging off what she probably considers a compliment, “you aren’t getting off that easy. What did you think of padfoot?”

Remus groans, dropping her forehead onto the table and nearly tipping over her can of PBR.

“They’re fine,” she grumbles.

“Someone’s got a crush,” Lily sing-songs. “Hang on.” Her tone of voice changes slightly, and Remus looks up, following her line of sight. She recognizes when Lily’s ‘cute person’ radar is going off. “Weirdly,” Lily continues, looking back at Remus, “that’s him. They guy from acting class.”

“Oh,” Remus frowns. “The creepy one or the one you’ve set your cap for?”

Lily snorts.

“The latter, Jane Austen.” Remus smiles over the top of her beer, but doesn’t reply. Lily looks oddly hesitant for a moment, before her expression clears. “We’re going to go say hi,” she says firmly. Remus groans, but let’s Lily tug her to her feet. “Oh stop moaning,” Lily says.

“I thought this was a dedicated romance-free evening,” Remus says self-righteously.

“It’s just a hello.” Lily strikes a pose as soon as they’re alongside the table, cocking one hip and tilting her head flirtatiously. “James. Fancy seeing you here.”

The man at the table starts slightly, looking up from his phone. He widens his eyes and nearly drops the poor phone into his drink.

“Lily? Oh. Wow, hi. Hello.” Remus stifles a smile as James glances over at her. “Erm,” he says, getting awkwardly to his feet and holding out a hand. “I’m James.”

“Remus.”

“Nice to meet you,” James says politely, before his eyes drift inevitably back over to Lily. “Would you two like to sit?”

Lily looks over at Remus, raising an eyebrow. Remus sighs inwardly, resigning herself to a dull evening of playing third wheel. She knows Lily will go back to their table without protest if Remus asks her to, but she can also see that Lily is more interested in James than her conversation about him had let on.

“Sure,” Remus says, sliding into one side of the booth. She sits on the end, so Lily and James are forced to sit next to each other. Lily grins at her from across the table, and James looks to be a strange combination of thrilled and alarmed.

Remus is just trying to think of a way to excuse herself to give the two of them some time to talk, when someone else approaches the booth.

“I leave for two minutes and you’ve already replaced me,” the person says, heaving a dramatic sigh. Remus just barely manages not to jerk up her head, but she’s staring so intently at her beer that it’s possible she looks like some sort of deranged beer label design student.

Oh no, Remus thinks. I recognize that voice. James is babbling out some kind of protest and Remus’ stomach clenches up. Have we interrupted some kind of date?

Fortunately, Lily quickly takes charge.

“You’re too late. He’s mine now,” she says with a grin. James looks like he’s struggling not to combust on the spot, and Remus stifles a laugh. She’s grateful Lily’s given her a moment to get her equilibrium back. The stranger, padfoot, Remus’ brain helpfully supplies, slides into the booth next to Remus. She turns, friendly expression carefully propped up on her face, and smiles.

“Hello. I’m Remus. The extremely rude one across the way is Lily.”

“Cheers,” Lily says, sipping her drink.

“Sirius,” padfoot says with a grin, holding out a hand. Remus shakes it, trying not to look terribly star-struck.

I can be chill about this, she tells herself firmly. A tiny voice in the back of her mind is screaming that’s a GIANT lie, Lupin. Sirius is even cuter in person and they’re right there, nearly touching her and they smell really nice and it’s horribly distracting. She can’t even escape to the bar to get her head together because Sirius has just brought new drinks and Remus is now trapped against the wall.

“So,” she says a bit desperately, “how do you two know each other?”

Lily, who has apparently decided she’s fulfilled her helpfulness quotient for the year, just smirks at Remus over her drink and lets her flounder.

*

“How don’t we know each other?” Sirius waggles their eyebrows and grins. They then want to punch their own face.

James laughs nervously and glances at Lily. She is pretty, but he’s pathetic. Unlike Sirius, who’s the epitome of coolness right about now.

Remus looks a little pink. It’s adorable. “Oh, were you on a–”

“I beg you not to finish that sentence,” James cuts in. “Sirius is just being a dick. We know each other from school, way back.”

“Clearly this school thing is the way to meet people,” Remus says. Sirius laughs, possibly more than the joke warrants.

But Remus is wearing another t-shirt with whales, and is so beautiful, and Sirius feels like bursting into song. They’re lucky Remus and Lily didn’t turn up after a couple more beers.

“I like your shirt,” they say and nod towards Remus’ chest.

Remus looks down on her beer and giggles. “Whale whale whale,” she says, then looks up. “Get it?”

Lily groans on the other side of the table, but Sirius laughs again. They can’t seem to help it. This person is their kryptonite. ���That’s funny. Do you have more of these?”

Remus tells them about the overWHALEmed t-shirt and Sirius pretends not to already know about it. James casts a smug glance at Sirius every now and then, but he looks too nervous himself to be gloating.

“What do you do for fun?” Remus asks, turned to Sirius, her leg almost touching their skin through the fishnets.

“I like singing,” Sirius says. “But it’s not too serious.”

“Ha–” Remus starts, and Sirius groans and buries their head in their arms. “Sorry,” Remus adds quickly. “I’m sure you get that a lot.”

“You have no idea.” Sirius lifts their head again and smiles. “Anyway. What do you like?”

Remus hesitates. “I write,” she says. “But nothing too– er, consequential.”

“Nice save.” Sirius braves nudging her arm with their elbow, and Remus looks at them and smiles.

Sirius doesn’t want to look away. Remus smiles like she’s holding back a much bigger smile, giving the impression that there’s just too much sunshine in her to contain. Sirius spills over.

“I followed you on Tumblr earlier today,” they blurt out. “I liked your selfies.”

Remus goes red. That was the last reaction Sirius had anticipated, but it’s not terrible. “I know,” she admits. “I don’t understand why, though.”

Because you’re beautiful. “They were very aesthetically pleasing pictures,” Sirius improvises. “I was so uninspired and then I saw them and it was good content, what can I say.”

Remus is shaking her head. “Not as good as your singing.”

“You checked out my blog?” At this point, the point where their arms are touching feels like burning, but it’d be weird to move now. Also, Sirius doesn’t want to.

“I don’t have more than ten followers, of course I get curious,” Remus says defensively. She’s not moving her arm, either.

“Really?!” Tumblr really is a hellsite. Remus, no more than ten followers? Atrocious.

“Yes?” Remus looks puzzled.

“You don’t want more?” Sirius is grappling with this concept.

“Not really.” Remus shrugs. “Anyway, I listened to a bunch of your songs, and I really liked them. You should be the one with more followers.”

“Thank you.” Sirius doesn’t know what else to say.

Lily clears her throat. “Excuse me for interrupting what I’m sure would have been an incredibly drawn out flirting process, but I’d like my best friend back, so if you could just exchange numbers now that’d be great.”

Sirius makes a surprised exhale, and Remus moves her arm back at lightning speed. “I will murder you,” she says calmly.

Lily just smiles at her. “Sure, but let’s get drinks first.”

“I’m sorry,” Remus mutters. “May I get out?”

Sirius gets up and gives way, watching with amusement at how James tries not to die when Lily passes him in closer proximity than he could possibly have hoped to have her. They say goodbye, and Lily and Remus start walking away before Sirius finds their bearings.

“Wait!” They take a few long steps to catch up. “Actually, Remus, I’d like that number, if you want to give it to me.”

Remus raises her eyebrows and her mouth opens slightly. How she’s making “flummoxed” look hot, Sirius has no idea.

“Sure, yeah.”

Lily looks extremely smug as they exchange numbers. Sirius is not looking forward to the look on James’ face when they get back to him.

Remus gives them one last barely-contained smile before her and Lily leave, for real this time.

Sirius looks at their phone and starts laughing. Remus saved her number as ‘whale endowed’.

Yes, Sirius has definitely been struck by inspiration.

[uniformbravo]

ok so. my day today

basically i spent a long fucking time today trying to Finally get off my ass and scan my traditional drawings so i can post them to my art blog, because like i have been drawing but these days the vast majority of my art is traditional sketches that im too lazy to scan so my art blog never gets updated and i rly want to work on that (i stg some of this shit is literally so old it’s from 2016 but whateverrrrr)

mostly the reason im finally doing this is that i don’t wanna wait too long to post my mp100 shit bc i’ve been drawing a Fucking Lot of that so i have enough to make a few posts now and i wanna get them uploaded while they’re still fresh, u know. the thing is since i was gonna scan those pages i decided it’d be a fun neat idea to scan the entire rest of the sketchbook bc Why Not

well i’ll tell u Why Not, there are several reasons Why Not:

it takes 12 yrs to scan everything because not only are there a shitload of pages but also the sketchbook is too big for the scanner so i have to do some pages 4 times to get all the edges and it’s horrible and bad, legitimately i was standing there for over an hour scanning this book, i put on an hr long video in the bg and got all the way through it and i Still wasn’t done

On Top Of That the scanner is kind of fucking garbage, as scanners are, so i have to take each image into photoshop to edit so they dont look entirely like trash (they still look kind of trashy anyway)

then for the multiple scan pages i have to patch them together so the images are complete / not blurry

then i have to collage all the drawings i want together because a lot of pages are either incomplete or only have like 1 thing i want to show on them so i spend like 100 years trying to arrange everything semi-nicely so that it’s, like, even slightly presentable, Maybe (idk i think the compilations tend to feel really cluttered tbh but Whatever it’s my STYLE), and also i have to take into account tumblr’s formatting so i usually have to make everything fit on a canvas either 540px or 1080px wide (this is even worse for pixel art bc it needs to be exactly 540px to look nice but i digress, we are talking about traditional art here)

so uh yeah that’s my process and Boy is it a Fucking Process

i think im complaining more rn because i have like a year’s worth of sketches im trying to deal with here, like. good god. i spent maybe two and a half hours working on this today (after the first hour of scanning things, just the scanning) and i did not get even halfway through the scans, and that’s just for the photo-editing stage, i haven’t even started putting together the compilations yet

god and like the Other Fucking Piece Of Shit Thing My Scanner Does is it tries to do this Smart Technology Bullshit and decide for itself where the paper ends instead of looking at, like, the actual paper’s boundaries, so even if i line everything up perfectly, a small part of the image fucking always gets cut off and if i were a stronger person i would engage in the full process of scanning the images, taking the flash drive back to my laptop, opening each image one by one to figure out which ones got cut off, going back to the scanner and re-scanning the pages and just repeating the process over and over until everything is in order but as it stands i do not have eighty-five thousand fucking years on my hands nor even a fraction of the mental capacity required to pull that off so we are just going 2 sit down & deal with some cropped images like mature adults

(tbh with all the cons of scanning the art, and there are a Lot of cons, i feel like it would probably make more sense to just take pictures using a camera instead, but on the other hand do not get me started on lighting, focus, unsteady hands, sifting through millions of copies of the same photo trying to determine which one came out the clearest, retaking photos that didn’t work out, back aching from being hunched over the paper for so long trying to get the perfect straight-down angle w/o casting any shadow, etc etc etc)

im just??? honestly, typing all of this out is making me sit back and think why?? why am i even doing this. this is so much goddamn effort for shit that probably won’t get very much attention, which is fine and all but god. jesus christ. im really putting myself through some shit for this

in any case i think i’ll probably be posting some of the more recent stuff first, like all the mp100 shit because like i said i want to post it while it’s still fresh and if i work on this whole project in chronological order u probably won’t see the things i drew this week until like next year hgkdslkdgn

[wheretogofrmhere]

Jess Pt. 2

Jessica Pt. 2- ok I should start w/ this… last march when they first hung out I wasn’t around that wk bc I was on a cruise so literally the whole wk I was gone & didn’t get on my phone/online at all! I had no idea Jessica existed until I got back & got a brief recap on tumblr that they only hung out 1 time & the media/her were extra as hell, basically same old same old w/ every girl! Figuring we’d never see her w/ Niall again I didn’t bother reading the articles- I googled a pic, rolled my eyes & moved on lol! I knew she was a model or aspiring model & supposedly had a kid she abandoned, nothing else. So back to nov. so I explained the whole concert/AMAs wk & after that like I said she quit posting things alluding to Niall but I kept following for a while bc she seemed the type to start posting about him again &/or being super extra again out of nowhere! And here’s the real start of my pain… It took ab 2 days to realize from her snaps that this girl is literally the most obnoxious person I have ever seen! I can’t even explain it really… she doesn’t really act the stuck-up bitchy model type “like I’m so hot I’m better than you” vibe that most models act like. At least the majority of the time she doesn’t act that way! She acts ignorant… seriously her snaps- she’s like an annoying 13 yr old girl in a hot adult body! Idc how pretty she is, LA is a fairly pretentious place and ALL the females are smoking hot, so I honestly have no idea how she works there based on how she seems to act most of the time! And I cannot believe that Niall hung out w/ her once more than about 2 min, let alone a second night! At least girls he’s been linked to- I might not like them & they may be bitches to other girls or give off those stuck-up vibes, but I’ve always been sure around him they acted chill & like “fit-in” with whatever crowd they were around! Jessica’s on a level that I don’t think she’d have it in her to act un-obnoxious! She’s so bad it almost made me judge Niall! So worst part of it all at Xmas she’s posting all about going home & I see day 1 she posts when she lands in Little Rock (Arkansas in case your not sure) & I’m like WTF?! I’m from AR & lived in a suburb of Little Rock, essentially 10 min out of the capital. So then she posts when she arrives in her home town, which is no lie literally 15 min from where I lived! She’s a bit younger than me, and we obvi went to different high schools anyway, but I had tons of friends from her hometown, like we may even know some of the same people which made me die!!! I couldn’t help but think oh my fucking god it’s ppl like her that give the south such a bad rep! Not like the racist redneck rep, but more just that ppl from the south are a lot times viewed as ignorant, uneducated, uncultured, buffoons! She 100% embodies that rep ok! So anyway I’m literally just rambling now, the point is I could not believe she was essentially from where I was & was linked too Niall- like it was a weird connection I felt to her & him that I DID NOT WANT! And it just really embarrasses me. Idc so much ab other ppl/the rest of the free world, but I don’t want Niall assuming ppl from AR all act like this girl! That’s honestly how bad she is! She’s a moron 98% of the time and the other 2% when she ~is acting all “I’m so hot” completely full of herself, it’s still embarrassing bc it’s obvi she’s trying WAY too hard! It’s like “oh I’m annoying as hell” but as a consolation I’m hot & here’s a pic of my naked ass to make up for it! Not to mention she’s snapped at least 3 times her sister Sky (Skye ?) sitting on the toilet & showering & then Sky had her phone & posted Jessica on the toilet & showering too the same 3 times! In the shower she kinda blurred their parts, but like could you cry for attention any harder?!! And the toilet ones were from the side so no vag, but full side ass! And god that’s so fuckin crass & gross! Like wtf? Who would post that?!! It honestly makes me cringe so hard to even think about it! I can confirm that Jessica is complete and utter classless, white trash! He is honestly such a good person & radiates pure class 100% of the time, so it physically pains me to think they might ever hang out again! And wow, this is prob longer than the first message now. I could honestly give examples all day but I think this more than stresses my distaste for this girl! 😖

oh my god i dont even know what to say lmao this was more than i was expecting but i believe it tbh...

[swearronchanel]

Who let me watch 5.06?

I should be doing an assignment that’s due tomorrow but ya know due tomorrow means do tomorrow. Lol I know I should be ashamed to be a procrastinator but university has ruined me anyway. I’m tired from literally going to one lecture haha, but in any event I’ve been rewatching mad men for the who knows what time but I thought I’d take a break from all that and watch an episode of CtM & @flyingnonny inspired me to do a reaction post so why not? I decided on 5.06 since last Sunday’s episode reminded us of that camping trip 😂😂  here goes nothing.. 

*skips intro bc I’m impatient*

Cute community moment ☺️

TRIXIE😍 slaying my life

Shelagh looks so good too 😍 and Angela melting my heart!

Why is shelagh forever wearing cardigans? I like cardigans every now and then but all the time, really?

Everyone is sitting outside, Trixie is in a sleeveless dress, as is Barbara, so it has to be warm?? take it off Shelagh

She’s still my bby though even if I don’t always agree with her fashion choices

what gross vejo pinching Trixie’s ass? That’s not ok

And Babs too lmao, creepy old man, die

Shelagh saying “hello dear” aw

But this is like the only interaction between Shelagh and Trixie & that does not suffice !!

ALL I WANT IS FOR THEM TO HAVE AN ACTUAL FRIENDSHIP IDC HOW MANY TIMES IVE SAID IT I REALLY Want it😭😭💕💕 my two fav bbys

I HAVE EVEN GIVEN REASONS WHY & I CAN GIVE THEM AGAIN ***        1) Why not?? Shelagh has like no real friends besides her husband and sort of Sister Julienne?                                                 

 2) just please, because I’m asking nicely                                                     3) When Shelagh was Sister Bernadette she was often friendly/ in the gossip and conversation with the nurses & remember that one time Trixie grabbed her to come listen to Jenny’s phone conversation?               

4) Trixie was the only one besides Sister Julienne to visit her in the sanatorium. That has to count for something!                                             5) They’ve both been on the show since day 1 & have known each other the longest (besides the nuns) why wouldn’t they be friends or least actually speak to each other?

Aye this is the lady who’s fake pregnant

Shelagh wearing earrings though >> here for it

Sorry there will be a lot of gushing over Shelagh and Trixie

And also I WANT TRIXIE’S HOOP EARRINGS SO BAD, where can I find them??

And how do I get her clothes and figure and her everything lol?

PHYLLIS ! My champion

“Would it have killed you to sit down for five minutes and eat the whole thing!” I LOVE HER, SHE IS A GEM, A HERO, A BADASS & IM NOT READY FOR SUNDAY. IM GOING TO BAWL WITH AND FOR HER

she deserves the best

I think this is the only time I’ve ever heard Trixie address Shelagh by her first name?? a prob.

They need to interact more 😭💔💕😍 I will stop saying it when I’m dead even then I’ll prob say it

Actually when I think of it no one ever calls Shelagh by her first name besides obviously Patrick? And Sister Julienne

#MoreShelaghAndTheOtherNursesInteracting2k17aka1962

And I need at least two seconds of them dotting on pregnant Shelagh

Helen looks so good like goals

“I threatened to put one man over my knee but that only encouraged him” HA IM DEAD NO KINK SHAME

I think there’s been a similar joke before but fuck it it’s still funny to me

But seriously everyone loves Trixie lol how could you not though?

Hey Pats, it’s been a while

Lol omg Tim in that uniform.. Not the best costume 😂😂

Never seen Whistle Down the Wind

But you see, Tom and Babs making out as usual, I’m not knocking it lol but this is why Sister J told her to chill when they went to South Africa😂

also lowkey jealous bc Jack Ashton is handsome af and that could’ve been me but it’s all good. He and Helen are adorable together and I’m here for it x10000

Omg I forgot this lady got assaulted

Oh shit I just remembered this is the episode where sister MC is attacked FUCK WHY DID I WATCH THIS

she can’t report it bc she’d get arrested for soliciting wtf

But remember Shelagh wore the headbands in like series 3 (so glad she stopped I was not here for it)? They must’ve gave them to Babs lol

I forgot Trixie didn’t tell the nurses about AA yet

But she looks gorgeous as ever, even with her mascara running

Lowkey nauseas looking at all that fish ugh. Funny becuase they put a grocery store that has a fish market on the block up from where I live in NYC and I hate it  

I forgot about Peter lol and he was in an episode this series whoops

LIKE WHERE’S YOUR WIFE LOL, *I know, too busy for this, I don’t think she’d fit in the series anymore anyway*

Sister Mary Cynthia 😰❣️

Lol she doesn’t sing loud enough ??

Sister Julienne is so cute when she smiles but don’t forget she’s a badass

REMEMBER THE AGGRESSIVE JACKET FLAP BC OF THE IRRITATING SISTER URSULA

How did this girl hide her pregnancy though?

And did her brothers just not realize she was pregnant and the mother wasn’t?

Oh jeez my cousin was a colic-y baby and my parents kept him like 3 days a week when I was in high school & it was a nightmare. I didn’t sleep for so long

Dont get me wrong I love babies. But when they scream when I’m trying to sleep, nope. Return to sender.

Shelagh is so excited about camping it’s the purest and most adorable thing 😭😭And I like her shirt  

Shelagh made Tim copy the napkin folding from a magazine, SHE IS A GEM

“We never have serviettes on a weeknight” wtf did they just not use napkins every day? I’m confused Lmaoo. What am I missing here 😂omg that reminds me of one of the times my family and I went on a cruise (2006, hella long time ago already wow?? 11 yrs yikes) and my brother & cousin were late to dinner and lied to my mom & aunt saying they were at a “napkin folding class” & my family deadass believed it up until 2 years ago😂

Shelagh’s accent is so cute. I’ve said that many times but it’s so sweet. But again why do we just have to accept she’s Scottish with no context as to how/why she came to England? Like I’m sure there were convents in Scotland. I dont even care that much I just will forever be curious as to why it seems she had no life before she got married lol? Like they don’t ever bring up the fact she was a nun, but ok maybe she feels awkward talking about it but what about before? 

They’re so excited it’s so precious, protect this family 😂😭💕💕

Sister MJ is fasting lol I should try it😂

Omg another dumb story, I didn’t realize today is Ash Wednesday and was hella confused seeing some people with ash on their forehead 😂😂 I should give up something for lent but idk what, we shall see. My mom gave up carbs last year & I died bc I lived at home and ate what she cooked and almost all my fav foods are carbs😂

Shelagh referred to Patsy as Patsy, I’ve only ever heard her say Nurse Mount??

lol Tim you’re what 14? you know damn well those arent* bullet holes

at least he has some of his innocence still. I didn’t @ 14

Sometimes I forget I’m gonna be 19 this year wtf. I’ve accidentally told people I’m 16 before and had to correct myself 😂😂

Patrick is excited about this holiday, boy you don’t know what’s coming 😂

HE’S GONNA ATTACK THE LADY WITH A BABY I FORGOT THAT TOO WTF

I wanna fight him

Diane’s anemic ? Or her mum is just assuming

SHELAGH IN HER CAMPING OUTFIT!! The hair scarf and trousers !! I’m so here for it 😍😭

I want to see her in another pair!! yes lets get it 1962. Probably not likely this series but hopefully next series!! Ah can’t wait

Shit this series is almost over 💔💔 but omg 1963 gonna be lit as well?!

Like the space race started/orbiting the earth, Kennedy’s assassination .. wait never mind lol I’m thinking of American History moments. but still a lot of it was crazy world news so maybe it’s mentioned?? first bond film came out in'63, petition for Tim to go take Susan whatever from around the corner to see it since we know he liked the novels

Lots of famous films came out in ‘63 so there’s gotta be some reference.

Fun fact: I love pop culture references in period drama bc I’m lame jk I’m majoring in education (to teach history)

Old news but still relevant: Phyllis’s turn on: Rolodex systems 📇

“CRANE, as in the wading bird or industry lifting equipment, whichever you prefer” LOVE U PHYLLIS, YOU CORRECT HIM

PHYLLIS’S FACE WHEN GODFREY SUGGESTS SHE CAME OUT OF RETIREMENT, IM DEAD

“I shall consider retirement when I’m at the appropriate age”  IM LAUGHING SO HARD, FUCK YEA PHYLLIS. I LOVE HER SO MUCH, LINDA BASSET IS ON THE LIST WITH LAURA AND HELEN OF PEOPLE WHO COULD PUCH ME IN THE FACE AND I’D THANK

LOL SHELAGH JUST STANDING AWKWARDLY LISTENING TO THIS CONVERSATION

“Buenos vacaciones”  I NEED MORE PHYLLIS WORKING ON HER SPANISH I LOVE IT, Ella es oro.

lol the roof rack, bet it was Phyllis’s they borrowed when they moved

PHYLLIS’S FACE OF DISGUST WHEN DR GODFREY SMILES AT HER IS ME ALWAYS

LOL THE THE NURSES & SISTER WINIFRED DYING OVER PATRICK’S SHORTS (EVen though sister W “swears she’s not looking”)

I THINK THE SOCKS AND WHITE DAD SANDALS ARE MORE AMUSING 😂😂

Poor Judith💔

It’s a vicious attack Sister J! But you don’t know it yet so I get u

Here comes summer..😂

SETTING UP IN THE POURING RAIN LOL

Shelagh and Angela being adorable !!

Tim and Patrick proud that  they set the tents up & boom it falls 😂 which is symbolic for me taking exams, I think I did well or at least decent on them and then I find out I failed by like 5 points

Nonnatus table scenes <3 😭

”I’ve seen more dangerous marshmallow bunnies“ lmao Pats this is a serious moment I shouldn’t laugh

Shelagh took off her glasses 😉😏 but fr how is Laura Main so perfect

Patrick put scotch in its lit, pass it over😏

Lol Shelagh drinking is a strange thought but I’m so here for it. Nuns can’t drink right? Idk. Imagine her drinking alcohol for the first time and just getting drunk 😂 we know Patrick and Tim are lightweights getting drunk off one beer so I assume shelagh would too😂

Damn it Patrick, you spilled your cup. Furthermore proving you’re a disaster 😭

LMAO SHELAGH’s “WTF” FACE WHEN SHE ASKS PATRICK WHAT HE’S THINKING ABOUT AND HE SAID THE ULCER CLINIC

LIKE C'MON PATRICK YOU KNOW WHERE SHELAGH WAS TRYNA GO WITH THAT😂

“And if you don’t mind my saying so, you’re not exactly Cliff Richards yourself” SHELAGH 😂😂 another great line of hers, love it

I love their playful banter lol we need more of that 😂 but lets be real series 6 has had some of the greatest Shelagh and Patrick moments so I can’t complain 😭😍

Peter and Barbara is such a unusual dynamic haha

“How is chummy?” Wait does Babs even know Chummy? I don’t even remember if they met tbh

But for real Shelagh did you really think Patrick would just forget about work completely ??

Lol Angela crying because she is petrified of squirrels😂😂and Shelagh running to her is so cute.

Why didn’t she just get rid of the *creepy* squirrel nutkin book? it seemed like they still had it in series 6 haha

rice pudding is I think the same as aroz con leche, lol it’s gross sorry

Diane’s water broke oh shit

the Turners all in the tent playing I spy bc it’s raining haha

I went camping for the first and last time this past summer w/ my sister in laws & her friends, it was awful 😂😂 I got like 100 mosquito bites that became welts, i literally slept in the car the second night & it was mid July fairly south of east coast aka it was humid and sticky af , there were wild horses that walked around..Thank God they brought alcohol cause it was a nightmare I don’t wanna remember 😂😂

ANGELA IS SO CUTE UGH & ANOTHER GREAT SHELAGH FACE😂

lol yes go to a hotel, should’ve done that from the get

So what exactly does Fred run? some civil defense thing?

She’s in labor and can’t even scream omg, I’m screaming

“They are often incorrect in their opinion” Sister MJ is a gem. I want someone to look at me the way Sister MJ looks at cake and the television

Phyllis yelling at Dr Godfrey😂

PATS’S FACE OF DISGUST IS ALSO ME

HOW DO THESE WOMEN GIVE BIRTH STANDING/SITTING UP?? AHHHH

There you are Beatrix, it’s been a while

Patsy being suspicious with the card game line lol. but when is Trixie going to find out about Patsy and Delia?

SHE RIPPED OUT HER WOMB?! WTF OMG IM SCREAMING

THIS HURTS TO WATCH AHH

Trixie and Sister MC to the rescue but omg this is wild I forgot

Fred wtf you can’t be sneaking up like that

DONT LEAVE SISTER MC ALONE TRIXIE

NOO, IM NOT PREPARED FOR THIS

“There are flowers on the table, and feathers in these pillows, that’s all the nature I need to get back to” I feel you Patrick lol, I like nature but not camping

Lol remember Shelagh’s old nightgown? ah I don’t miss it. The bri nylon is such a look™ & obviously has magically powers i.e this miraculous conception.

“..or they’ve been mulled to death by squirrels” IM DEAD HAHA THAT WAS A GOOD DAD JOKE, NICE ONE PATRICK

aw the baby is so precious

Why is the operating room/being in surgery called theatre in the U.K.?? and why is the doctor’s office/practice called the surgery? so many questions from a confused American..

Sister MC by the docks😭💔 she was just chillin with God and THIS HORRIBLE MAN RUINS EVERYTHING WTF UGH

Oh no

SISTER MC JUST UNCONSCIOUS ON THE DOCKS WTF IM CRYING WHY WOULD HURT HER

Patrick even if you were there she wouldn’t have called you, don’t blame urself

it’s not your arrogance sister MC!!

“don’t you even say the word fault, do you hear me, I won’t allow it” 😭💔 it’s NOT your fault sister MC 😰

I forgot how upset/hurt this episode makes me

“The worst thing is that I actually stopped to pray…” my heart hurts

You can’t even blame her for being angry😪

Judith you’re not a bad mother!! This isn’t your fault either

Sister MJ IN THE BATHROOM WITH HER😢😢💔💔 I’m c r y i n

I SAID PROTECT THEM AT ALL COSTS WHY DID THEY HURT ME LIKE THIS

Everyone so quiet at the table..

ILL FOREVER BE PROUD OF HOW BRAVE SISTER MC IS FOR SPEAKING UP FOR HER AND THE OTHER VICTIMS💖😭💔

Russian prison tats??

“I thought at first it was a test of faith, but it was a test of strength. I can bear more than I ever though I could and I can bear it for others because my strength is a gift, from him..” brb sobbing

I feel so bad for Mrs Hills bc I understand she thought she was doing the right thing and was trying to protect her daughter from the stigma & judgment from having a baby born outta wedlock 😭

But damn she almost killed her & now she can’t have any more kids

“I’m a mum, mum” Aw

lol I want children (obviously not anytime soon) but if I do Ima be shook for the rest of my life. Like my kids will  be like grown & I’ll still wake up like wtf I had them?  Lmaoo

SHELAGH’S GREY DRESS >>😍

Patrick jumping on the bed was cute lol

The Turners being cute and an unrealistically perfect family together as usual

Trixie 😍off to her AA💕

“I think it’s about time I came clean..”

Im so proud of her omg. She’s come so far in 6 series 😭💖💖😭

And Patsy and Delia are supportive yess👏🏼

“New truths were being spoken at Nonnatus house, but some remained concealed. While one voice rose, striving to erase its agony in song.”

Thanks Vanessa,, The End 😭

[2tsrwzsba-blog]

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