#smh im such an ass

[critter-covenant]

the yapper and her very-good-listener of a girlfriend

[marsalta]

[aprito]

what a coincidence anon, me too!!

[personishfive]

in which joker is a multi-talented trickster indeed

[cyberstarlope]

I haven't watched clh yet but I have been playing ac2 for the first time so uh. that counts right?

edit: fixed the french pronoun because apparently 2 years of it in school taught me nothing

[yikes-ajax]

P...... Party rrocker in the house tonihhgt

[tamagoneko]

hnnkfa im working on like 20 different things here 💀💀💀

girl help!

[kaiser1ns]

TAKIISHI CHIKA IN CHAPTER 153

[anonymouscheeses]

"Hey, me and my boyfriend saw you across the bar and we HATE your vibes. We're going to beat you to death, don't be ready."

[erenfox]

pov: legit all the ships you love and adore in this world are rarepairs and you have literally no idea what to do apart from obsess over the scarce golden fics about those rarepairs; and are slowly losing your sanity because no one writes about them because you yourself have the writing skills of a duck so-

[wryrlia]

eepy

insert description

[intotheelliwoods]

ELLI! I JUST LOOKED UP AGGIE CAUSE YOU SAID YOU'VE HAD ISSUES WITH CERTAIN TOOLS

AND I THOUGHT IT WAS WEIRD TO NOT HAVE A WORKING FILL BUCKET TOOL

.................AGGIE'S JUST MAMGA

ELLI!

ELLI WHAT YOU DO MEAN YOU'VE BEEN DRAWING ON MAGMA THIS WHOLE TIME??!!

ELLI!!!!

LISTEN. I REALLY LIKE ITS SIMPLICY. I LIKE BEING FORCED TO ONLY HAVE ONE BRUSH AND THE MOST BASIC ASS BUTTONS ON THE PLANET

[evilbeing]

If the son of the God of War then why so small and precious??🤨

[napping-sapphic]

haha yeah of course i’m watching the women’s rugby and women’s hammer throw during the olympics for the stats i just love seeing all those numbers ya know haha….😳

[asmodeauxx]

So how do you feel about the Kindergarten 3 trailer?

OH GIRL I NEVER EXPECTED THIS ASK

I actually just saw the trailer today and OH MY GOD????? it has never been such a good time to get back into this fandom (I feel like a prophet to myself)

the player kid looks so much smaller compared to the rest oh my god?? the goo from last game stunted his growth smh

i also wanna know how tf monty is back standing (he was in a wheelchair for like one day??? yknow what glad to see he's back on his feet) im assuming whatever he's wearing around his waist is helping him stand

also love seeing nugget roll around in suspicious goo (you go little guy)

there's also a bunch more characters that aren't around in the trailer like lily and billy. though ngl im assuming they're just doing the same thing as last game together

and another kid missing that i noticed is teddy? wondering why felix is there but teddy is missing (felix did you kill him already smh,,,)

im gonna assume the rest of the kids are either kidnapped or moved to a separate school ykyk

[shukakumoodboard]

Soooooo, about that gaaleesbians fan fic you were talking about....

LETS GO LESBIANS

ahem

i swear i've mentioned it before but i cannae find it so i shall simply. talk about it again relieved emoji

i have exactly one(1) gaaleesbians fic which came to me in a bolt from da lord after @urieskooki was talking in chats about a fic she was working on affectionately called priestie boys and so now you are all eventually getting: naruto but puritan salem witch trials lesbians au. behold

it's called thread of deepest scarlet, heart of shining pearl and it's going to take me an eternity because i've decided i will write it ye olde 17th century sermon style for why though hey totally unrelated hey would u like a snippet? would u like a snippeptpett? woul ud dyu--

“If you would but allow me to taste you,” she whispered, her lips a red gleam against pale skin, red as shone the skin of a crisp apple in the Garden of Eden. Crimson, like blood on the fangs of a snake. “I might offer your treasure worship.” What treasure had she to offer? What worship might she, humble mortal as she was, deserve? “I do not know that of which you s-speak!” What were these feelings coursing within her, consuming her? Was she bewitched, as the sermons had warned? Was Gaara beset by the Serpent, invoking such spells as to ensnare Lee, feminine and vulnerable thus to such infernal spirits, so said the gospels? She had tried, with prayer, with holy silence, with physical toils, to protect herself against the plagues of consumption and stay herself upon the Lord. And yet. “La petit mort, the little death, or so say the French,” she said. Soft her hand slid across Lee’s cheek to brush a strand of hair. Her low laughter rang across the chamber, sweet bells for which no music could find itself an equal. “Has no lover bestowed upon you such wonders?” “L-lovers!? I have but one, my h-husband!” A husband for whom she must always be deferent to, obedient, subservient… Scarlet lips curved down, a frown to wrinkle her pale forehead and its wine-stain mark. “Does he please you?” “To serve my Lord and my husband is my d-duty—I shall not neglect even if he—” “This I have not asked.” Her words struck Lee down, like gospel, her eyes the nails upon which the Saviour crucified. Bow your head in prayer, o wretched ones. “Has he brought you raptures? Does he please you?” O Lord, forgive her. “No.” Lee had thought no sin could truly taste sweet until this moment, where fruit glistened naught on branches but between red lips and shining teeth. And she itched, burned, Hellfire under her skin screaming for a thirst that but Gaara’s touch might slake. Fingers, delicate, stroked up her front, around her waist to until the apron, green wool pooling to the floor while Gaara undid the small glass buttons down her gown front one by one. Lee should not allow this. Her body was a revelation meant for her husband alone. And yet. “As Christ loves His church, the husband must love his wife absolutely, and so I vow this unto you, I will be joined to you and you alone, as one body and one flesh.” Tenten’s stockings, a gift from Lee herself, on the floor— “Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord.” No. She would not! No sanctity could be found in her home, no longer was her bed a place of holiness, why should she be the sole faithful one? Let he without sin cast stones upon her, she would bear it. Gaara’s crimson red lips sang poisonous, blasphemous hymns, and she wanted nothing else. “I can,” she breathed. “I would show you, in all your loveliness, such wonders, if you wish it.” For if Gaara was the serpent in the Garden, she was Eve, and in that parable, it was she doomed to succumb to temptation; her weakness preordained, this was her Apple and the ways of wickedness were already within her, and so. “Please.” And so, she let Gaara consume her.

if it's not obvious as hell: local witch gaara is asking to consume wife-of-the-pastor-who-has-never-nutted-lee's coochie . hell fuckign yeah