#smth smth god doesn't love you not like i do; you want to tear them apart & Become that person. etc etc. n e wayz misa deserved better

[ladyimaginarium]

if it's what you truly want...

anger; lemonade visual poetry — beyoncé & warsan shire. / death note.

[sheeple]

Heirs of Hogwarts | Part 4

Genre(s): Nuisance to Lovers / Fake dating / Fluff / No Voldy au Fandom(s): Harry Potter Pairing(s): Mattheo Riddle x Hufflepuff!Reader Summary: After finding out your (now ex)boyfriend cheated on you with the girl he told you not to worry about, you decide to get into a fake relationship with the kid of another founder of Hogwarts. What could go wrong? Warning(s): It's the (badly written) smut chapter (is it obvious that I don't know how kissing works?) / Weee Woo mature smut hour is here!!! / semi-exhibitionistic (office fucking while the door is locked?) / The oral fixation is back / dunno if I missed smth. A/n: The long-awaited final part of the series. And I swear to GOD if the tags don't work I'm going to screeaaAAAMMM [Masterlist] [HoH masterlist]

When Mattheo opens his eyes, a ray of sunshine peaks through the curtains and it falls over your sleeping face. In your sleep, you have tucked yourself closer to his body.

Mattheo can't help himself but smile. He rests his head on his fist while he reaches out and brushes a strand of hair away from your face. Oh, how peaceful you look — how at ease with him beside you.

At his touch, you scrunch your face and turn away, nuzzling into his chest. You grumble something and he laughs.

"Good morning, Sunshine."

Groaning, you reach for the covers and pull them up to hide yourself from the light. "What time is it?"

Looking over his shoulder towards the small clock on the bedside table. "Half past eight."

Another groan comes from you and you push the covers just down so your face is peaking out with a pout. "Way too damn early..."

At that moment your door gets kicked open and the twins storm in. "Get up! Mom made breakfast and she has given you ten minutes to get dressed.

As Danny drags you out of your bed and into your bathroom, Victor gives Mattheo a stern glare. "You listen to me, Riddle. If you hurt but one hair on our sister's head you're a dead man! Understood?!"

Mattheo nods dazed, not jet have been really woken up before the invasion.

With one last curt nod, Victor turns around and marches out of your room. Not before saying, "If I were you I would get dressed. Mom doesn't like tardiness."

The way one-half of your brothers send you sly looks while the other half glares daggers at Mattheo as the two of you join your family at the breakfast table makes you want to be swallowed up whole by the ground.

"Slept well?", muses Felix as he peels a tangerine and gives his wife the segments.

Pursing your lips, you wait until both your parents aren't looking before flipping him off. He returns the gesture, only to get whacked by his wife — who in turn winks at you.

As Mattheo tilts his head towards you and as he parts his lips to say something, Victor calls out, "Hey! No canoodling at the breakfast table! Felix and Jean were bad enough, we don't need to experience you two being disgusting too."

"Hey!", both you and Felix call out, offended. Felix because he and his wife were called disgusting, and you because of the accusation of canoodling while you were literally doing nothing.

As you and your siblings bicker — because let's be fair, Felix needs to pull Herbert and Danny into the argument — Mattheo looks around the table with a fond smile.

It's nice to see how your family is. Even while you bicker and pester each other, he can see you hold so much love for each and every one of your brothers. And they do for you. And now he can see certain traits that you do that come from your parents or that all the Hufflepuff siblings do.

It's nice. It makes him jealous deep down.

When you notice Mattheo's faraway look on his face, you reach under the table to hold his hand. You give him a squeeze and in return, you get a smile. A genuine one luckily.

The two stay like that until it's finally time to go. After all, you have so much homework to do.

Your mom hugs you with tears in her eyes, having always found it difficult to let her babies go. She also gave Mattheo a tight hug and made him promise to come back another time. Maybe for the summer holiday, he can join you and your family at your vacation home — the idea was protested with grumbles from most of your brothers.

Your father pinches your cheeks before clapping Mattheo on his back and shaking his hand. "It was nice meeting you, Mattheo. Take good care if my daughter, will you?"

"I wouldn't dare otherwise", he smiles while reaching for your hand.

Waving goodbye, the two of you walk back to the portkey. And with a final deep breath, you touch the small cup and get sucked in a portal.

With a slight stumble, the floor changes from grass to the creaking floorboards of Sprout's office. You manage to catch yourself by the desk.

Having let go of your hand, Mattheo takes out his wand while he walks towards the door. He peaks his head out and looks around the corridor. Once he closes the door, he casts a locking and silencing charm upon it.

"What are you doing?", you ask laughing as he slowly turns around.

Mattheo says nothing but strides towards you. Taking your face in his hands, your breath hitches as his thumb rubs circles over your cheeks. Your eyes flicker over his face as you recognise the look in his eyes. It's the same as last night.

"Matt", you whisper, pressing your forehead against his.

He silences a groan by biting his bottom lip, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. "Tell me now if you don't want this. Tell me and I will stop. But once... I can't stop- won't stop. You fill my every thought, awake or at night."

You trail one hand up his body and place it on his shoulder, moulding your body against his as he presses you against the desk, his own hands simultaneously travelling down your body. He grabs the backs of your thighs and hoists you up the desk.

A surprised yelp escapes your lips and Mattheo seizes the opportunity to crash his lips against yours. His eyes close shut as he laces his fingers into your hair, holding your head in place to deepen the kiss.

You moan as you grind against him. Mattheo's all-consuming, all over. You feel and smell nothing else than him. One of his hands is in your hair while the other travels down your side towards your knee. How he grabs the flesh of your thigh to pull you even closer ─ if that is even possible.

Wrapping your arms around him, you throw your head back as his lips travel from the corner of your mouth towards your neck. He peppers open-mouthed kisses, running his tongue over your skin and sucking softly. You bite your bottom lips so as not to sound too desperate.

While his lips assault your neck, Mattheo's hand has travelled from your knee up your thigh to underneath your skirl and his middle finger toys with the elastic of your underwear.

Your body moves like it has a mind of its own and your legs open further to give him room to slip his hand beneath the fabric.

As he explores and rubs slow circles on your clit, he groans loudly. "Gods", he breathes out, his forehead resting against your shoulder and his eyes trained on the movements of his fingers hidden under the fabric of your panties.

"Matt... please", you beg, squirming at the teasing touch.

As if your plea snaps him out of a daze, he rips his hand away from your core ─ earning a desperate whine from you ─ and he pushes your underwear down your legs, stuffing it in his back pocket.

He pulls your hips to the edge of the table while he drops to his knees. Looking up at you through his lashes, asking your permission to continue.

"Mattheo I swear if you don't soon- OH!" You moan loudly as he licks a stripe up your pussy. Your hands shoot to his curls and you pull on them as he continues his ministrations, pulling moan after moan from you.

His lips wrap around your clit and you swear that you see stars. A finger prods at your entrance, slipping in easily with how wet you are. Soon, a second finger gets added and you can't help yourself. "I could eat you for lunch", he groans.

"Please Mattheo... please!"

With one last kiss, he pulls away and looks up at you, his mouth and chin glistening. "What is it, baby?" He leans his head against your thigh while his thumb rubs lazy circles around your clit.

You groan and whine, writhing under his heavy gaze and stimulation. "I... please- do something. I feel so..."

He pouts, speeding up his fingers. "Do something? Okay." He rips his fingers away and you feel like you could die.

"Not that!", you hiss, glaring at him.

Mattheo chuckles and rises from his kneeled position. "You're oh so cute when frustrated, love." He grabs your cheeks with one hand and pushes his soaked fingers into your mouth.

The taste of your own arousal dances on your tongue and you moan, closing your eyes and sucking on his digits. Mattheo can't help but watch you with fascination as you hold his gaze.

You grab his wrist and pull his fingers away with one last kiss. "Fuck me, Mattheo Riddle. Fuck me so good that I forget that our relationship used to be fake." You use his own words, which earns you a growl.

Mattheo grabs your hips and turns you around so that your ass is up in the air and your chest laying on the desk. He pushes the hem of your skirt up so you're fully exposed. A groan escapes him while Mattheo grabs two hands full of your asscheeks and pulls them to the side.

One hand leaves your skin and you hear the metallic sound of a belt buckle before a zipper. You look over your shoulder and see that he has pushed his pants just down enough to free himself. He strokes his length a couple of times before lining up with your entrance.

With one fluid trust, he's fully inside you. You grip the edge of the desk and a loud moan rolls from your lips. You're so full. So filled to the brim.

Mattheo swears he's in heaven. Your pussy is pure ecstasy. "So... tight", he says with a clenched jaw, trying his best not to immediately spill inside of you.

Rolling your hips against his, you look over your shoulder with your bottom lip between your teeth. Mattheo has his eyes closed and his head thrown back. The grip on your hip is bordering on bruising but it feels so good.

You can't help the moans coming out of your mouth when he bottoms out before pulling out of you completely and plunging back in. It shocks your entire body and Sprout's desk he has you folded over.

A hand travels down and you roll lazy circles over your clit for extra stimulation, his own hand engulfs yours and moves in sync with you.

It makes your body buzz and you feel the end coming closer and closer. Squirming underneath him, stars flood your vision and soon you feel yourself teetering over the edge.

Mattheo, feeling your pussy convulse around him, pulls you up and presses you against his chest. He captures your lips in a fiery kiss and helps you ride out your orgasm.

"Shit", he curses under his breath, the squelching sound of your cum sending shivers down his spine. "I don't know how much longer I can hold it."

"Cum in me", you moan, arching your back.

You don't have to say that a second time because Mattheo swears he's in heaven and cums almost immediately with a loud grunt, his head thrown back. You moan with him and he holds the both of you still.

The two of you stay like that until he has gone soft and you are starting to cramp. As he pulls out, you feel a dollop of his cum run down your leg. Mattheo drops to his knees and licks it up.

"No", you squirm, feeling so overstimulated that even the thought of his tongue touching you makes your pussy twitch.

He helps you up on the desk and cleans you up with a towel he conjured. "How are you feeling?"

"Good", you smile, "Tired. Spend."

Mattheo returns your smile as he pulls you closer for a kiss. Once he has enough, he presses his forehead against yours. "Come to my game tomorrow."

You smile, wrapping your arms around his neck. "And do what? Watch my house beat yours?", you tease.

"You could sit there all prettily in my jersey while watching me beat up your ex."

A laugh escapes you. "That way to original deal wasn't it? You distract my parents while I distract Malcolm. All so Slytherin can win the house cup."

Mattheo smirks. "You know it, baby." He takes your face and traces your lips with his thumb.

"And after that?" You lean into his touch.

"After that, I am going to fuck you silly in the locker room showers and make you moan my name so loud everybody knows you're mine."

And he did just that. With his knuckles still bloody from punching Malcolm in the face — nearly earning a suspension when he almost didn't stop — he holds your hands in a tight grip as he ploughs roughly into your cunt as the water from the shower makes his sweater cling to your skin.

And you bet the school did know your two definitely were an item after that.

Tag list (bold means I couldn't tag you): @mylosz0 @kermits-bitch @jolly4holly @daisiesformylove @frogtape @dancing-inasnowglobe @slytheos @undercover-smutlover @reverse-soe @nikkissecretlibrary @moon-struck-meraki @bengbengbengi @justhavingsomefun1 @itsamusical4lifee @genshingeeksworld @y0urm0m12 @alnitakstarsky03 @mel-vaz @slytherinboysappreciation @sailtomarina @bubybubsters @jasmine2105 @abaker74 @lovelyygirl8 @vickykazuya @eltrss @llpovi @m1kasawps @sol3chu @ledtassoo @itsarajr @glittervame @glittervame @mjlock @universallyblizzardlove @hoeforvinniehackerrr @iamkaku @elltheawkward @hey-there9-its-me @mattheosangel13

[luveline]

if you’re open to it, could you complete the trio and write smth abt james seeing reader’s scars for the first time, too? ty x

ty for requesting ♡ fem

cw past self-harm [no graphic imagery]

It should surprise James as someone who's never thought about hurting himself, but he has two very important best friends, of which he'd do anything for, who aren't of the same disposition. So when he notices the pale skin of your scars where they criss-cross your chest, your stomach, your thighs, he's almost ready for it. 

You attract sad souls, Sirius had said once, mostly joking. 

But James doesn't think that's true. He just thinks there are more people who needed love and didn't get it than first appears. 

You sit up in your sun lounger. James pretends not to notice when you see him, smiling to himself as you grab your cover up. 

"The sun doesn't feel real, right?" you ask, sitting next to him on the picnic bench. "Late September heatwave. What will global warming think of next?" 

"It's miserable," he says agreeably, though he loves the heat. "That's nice." 

"This?" you ask, waving at your cover up. It's ruched fabric made to drape at your hips, almost like a skirt. 

"Yeah, that. You look really pretty." 

"Thanks, James." Your smile is all kinds of dazzling. "Nice of Sirius to host a party, huh? Now we can make the most of the sunshine. Did he put you in charge of food again?"

He nods to the spread in clingfilm behind you both. It's safe in the shade, the sun kissing to your knees and not much further. "Doesn't he always?" 

"It's good for me. I like your samosas." 

"Which ones? The kheema ones?" He nudges you amicably. "You have good taste. I made a bunch of sliders too, cucumber sandwiches. Don't limit yourself." 

You stay by his side and eventually peel back the clingfilm on one of the plates, stealing quarter sandwiches with one of your legs pulled up on the bench. Your bikini is little and your coverup slips to one side down your leg, scars plainly on show. He has no intention of bringing it up, until you notice what's happened and flinch. He can't hide that he's seen fast enough, horrified when you fluster, you waver, your eyes pinched with humiliation. "Sorry," you say, laughing awkwardly. "I'm flashing you. Sorry." 

He casts a glance around the back garden. Most of your friends squeeze into the lazy spa sweating themselves to death in the sun, and the remainder drink cold drinks by the stereo. No one's watching you but him. 

"You don't have to be embarrassed," he says. 

"I just didn't want you to see." 

"Me?" he asks, startled. 

"I mean. Not like that. Not not like that." You tear the crusts off of your sandwich and put them on the plate like you're looking for something to do. "Not like anything." You smile at him a raw shade off of happy. 

"Shortcake, it doesn't bother me one bit. You think I care about that?" He ducks his head. "You're you. All of this," —he makes a small gesture at your front— "is you. I want to see all of it. You don't have anything you need to hide." 

"All of it?" you ask strangely. 

He doesn't get what you're saying but then he does, suddenly, blood rushing to his face and his ears hot as a flame. What a weird thing to say, he stresses to himself. You stupid man. "I'm not a pervert," he says. 

You gawp. He gets hotter, if possible, scratching his hair back from his eyes. 

"I mean, you're beautiful," he says, "anyone would be lucky to see it all. Oh my god." 

You put your ruined sandwich on the edge of the plate and fix the clingfilm as he dies of shame. He's thinking well, courting you was fun while it lasted, all those bad jokes and better hugs, he loved every minute of your attention. 

You laugh. "Most of the time I don't care about them," you confess, and he's so happy to hear your voice rolling over his embarrassment he could run a lap, "they're old. Can't do anything about them. But I didn't want you to think I was some sort of freak." 

"Is that what you think you are?" 

"No, of course not… Silly for doing something like that." 

"I don't think it was silly. We do what we can, right?" He eases his arm around your shoulders in a hug, his hand eager to rub at the top of your arm. "I don't think you're some sort of freak, you're my type of freak." 

"You really don't care?" 

"I care," he says gently, touching the tip of his nose to your cheek before giving you a more friendly amount of space. "A lot. Especially about you, okay? But I don't care about them unless you do. I like you, yeah?" 

"I like you too," you say. 

"Wanna prove it?" 

James asks you to make him a plate of things to graze on while he finds you both a drink. It's not his most romantic of lines, but it means you end up at his side for a dedicated while, flicking condensation at his chest. You don't worry about the coverup again. 

[bonny-kookoo]

Ooo now I'm even more curious,

Bonny has the ilysib talked to each about their trauma and wounds that happened with their own past relationships? And if they're still healing from that or if it's just smth that's left in the past

I know it was kind of mention before with ocs parents and her relationship with them but I wonder is she ever experience smth similar in any of her romantic relationships

I love this couple and I love seeing then grow together 🫶🏼

"Jungkookie- baby can you get the door please, I'm still naked!" You call out from the bathroom, and Jungkook calls back a simple affirmation that he's gonna do just that- by now definitely comfortable enough in both your home and with you to do these things.

"Huh? Who are you?" The woman in front of the door asks, face confused, before the man behind her looks over her shoulder.

"Do you live here?" He asks, and Jungkook tilts his head with a curious but suspicious frown on his face.

"I- somewhat. What do you need?" He asks politely, when the bathroom door opens.

"Who was it Koo-" you drift off, not finishing your sentence, and Jungkook can instantly feel the way you tense up in a defensive stance. "What do you want." You ask lowly like a predator warning it's enemy, and he can feel his skin become oddly cold.

He's never seen you like this.

"Checking up on you?" The man says, almost scoffs. "You never call. We didn't even know you have a boyfriend now." He accuses.

"Maybe I just don't want to annoy you with my stupidity." You bark back, gently placing your hand on Jungkook's side to push him slightly away from the door. "I'm alive, cool, now leave."

"We're your parents- we have a right to know what's going on in your life." Your mother says, eyes tearing up. Jungkook feels a bit bad for her. He doesn't know the situation after all.

"You had that right, you didn't want it." You shake your head. "Now go before I call the cops on you."

"You wouldn't do that. I raised you god damn-!" you father says, angrily, pointing a finger at you. You step back, bump into Jungkook's chest-

And then he feels it.

You're shaking, body trembling against his. And he's not sure what kind of instinctual behavior suddenly comes over him- but his hands find your shoulders, keep you close, before he reaches out for the door.

"I think it's best you leave. She clearly doesn't want you here." He politely tells them, and before they can say anything more, he shakes his head. "I will genuinely call the police to have you removed, please." He asks one last time, before he closes the door. The doorbell rings. Knocks are heard. You turn around and begin to cry in his chest.

He's not sure what must've happened between you and your parents to have such a strong reaction to it- bit it must've been bad, if you're this upset at just them visiting.

Now that he thinks about it, you never really tall about them at all.

"I'm sorry." You somewhat get out as you lean back from him on the couch, knocks still echoing. "They're not gonna leave." You sigh, wiping your face somewhat dry.

"Then we'll actually call the cops, no worries." He shrugs, when the knocking stops.

"You won't even call your own doctor's office to schedule an appointment." You huff, and he rolls his eyes before he laughs, pulling you back into his chest. "Got me all soft for you though, acting like a knight in shining armor and all.." you mumble, and he hums a reply simply, a hand on your shoulder carefully running up and down to soothe you. "I don't like them."

"I guessed as much." He chuckles, and you wiggle closer to him.

"My mom always said I don't put enough effort into myself. My appearance, my life, anything. And my dad always said I talk dumb and look like a whore." You quietly confess. Jungkook tilts his head in frustration.

"You think he's still out there?" He asks, and you lean back to look at him.

"Dunno?" You say. "Why?"

"No one calls my girlfriend stupid or a whore." He threatens, and you laugh. "I'm serious!" He defends, and you smile, leaning in to peck his lips.

"I know." You say, finally smiling again. "And that's soooo cute!" You tease, making him whine.

"I'm not cute, I'm your knight in shining armor!"

[l0n3ly-gh0st205]

Heyo Stranger, if you are like doing request rn can We get more white beard pirate's with child!reader crumbs pls 😌

A/n: Oh my days; ABSOLUTELY ANON!!!! Crumbs are my favorite hehe

Sorry, I responded so late; getting into the vibe of my second quarter at college and dealing with some personal stuff on the side, but! im here to feed the found family enjoyers! (also, I still love my college. It's super fun but stressful! I may post some of my assignments, but we are still in fundamentals rn)

Enjoy! :D

Child!Reader with the WBP!!

[■□□□□□□□□□] 10%

☆꧁༒Ĺoading. . .༒꧂☆

[■■■■■■□□□□] 60%

☆꧁༒Ĺoading. . .༒꧂☆

[■■■■■■■■■■] 100%

☆꧁༒Complete༒꧂☆

So, in previous posts, I mentioned that Marco and Thatch found a baby in a storm… but don't get me wrong, they're stupid enough to adopt a kid off the streets accidentally.

Obviously, in the new world and on the grand line, there are some not-so-great families/ pirates, so I don't think it's out of the question if a female crew member gets pregnant on a ship for them to, perhaps, dump their unwanted child on a random island and expect them to die or smth

And if the island had a town, then they’d most likely be living on the streets since it’s just another mouth to feed, and no one wants to put a strain on their already delicately crafted lives

But moving on from the sad stuff

Imagine if a toddler reader, just hungry and wanting some clothes for the winter, notices a new ship in the port and tries to steal some food and clothes

And, of course, a lil bby can't really steal too well, either falling into a barrel or easily getting caught by the crew…

Lucky for you, the white beard pirates have a soft spot for kids :D

God, just imagining thatch holding up this scrappy little baby, probably crying big fat tears from getting in trouble, up to white beard being like, ‘So what are we doing with this?’

And white beards’ parental instincts immediately kick in.

So yeah new little sibling :D’

I headcanon Ace as being the previously youngest crew member… so when i tell you he was SO happy someone else was now the ‘baby’ of the family it's insane

Would absolutely pick on you for everything, your age? Lil bby. Your height? Short stack. Hell you could drop a fruit on the floor on accident and ace will make fun of it

But even if he’s a little mean at times he’ll absolutely adore a younger sibling.

Like i imagine that he’ll look at you as kind of away to make up for some of the mean things he did to Luffy when they were young, and to make up for Sabo’s absence, so he’ll be the most defensive on your behalf if someone other than him starts picking on you

but on a little angstier note, that doesn't mean that Ace warmed up to you in the beginning

you were found by the crew shortly after ace was forced joined, and he was still in his lil emo era of hating everything and everyone

So while you were blossoming with all the love and affection your new family was giving you, Ace refused to see you, or any other whitebeard pirates, as his family.

you were probably one of the only reasons why Ace warmed up to the whitebeard pirates, and became so fiercely loyal to them to begin with though

but it was a slow process, and you probably got hurt a bit trying to befriend ace (kinda like luffy in the beginning((i may make a fic of this)))

but once he did warm up to you, and accepted his role as white beard pirate, oh boy!!!!!

will absolutely take care of you and try to mend any damage he did while he was pushing you away, big warm cuddle pile with lots of soft apologize and pinky promises will always be the antidote

also, i dont really need to mention this but ace is warm!! so if reader is still a baby baby, then alot of times when ace was available he’d be incharge of calming you down, since his hold was basically like a big warm blanket that would put you right to sleep

A/n: sorry this is super short, my brain is running on fumes but im still trying to crank out my own artistic stuff inbetween college work, and also trying to get a business and help my room mates animation studio get off the ground

but if you enjoyed this feel free to reblog and comment! i love reading comments!

also my requests are open!

[rogerswifesblog]

Another request I'm sorry 😅

Steve Rogers always has the most generic phone background there is until one day he has the reader. His friends go nuts trying to find out who the reader is. Until one day Steve gets injured on a mission and demands that the reader is called before he goes into surgery. He wakes up to his girlfriend/ fiance/ wife (that's up to you) having the team wrapped around her finger already

Sorry it took me so long:( I hope you’ll like it<3

Btw never apologise for sending request or smth I love it

Behind the picture

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: The avengers couldn't figure out who Steve was seeing, the first time they meet you is when Steve’s badly injured.

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: Steve Rogers x Reader

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Steve's injured, but mostly fluff

Keep in mind English is not my first language!

Don't forget to like, comment and reblog!

The avengers were currently on their way to a HYDRA basis. It was quite stressful, so Steve did, what he always did to calm himself down-he looked at the picture of your dog. He wished he could just look at a picture of the two of you, but he couldn't. Not with the team around.

Don't get him wrong, he loved his team. Deeply...but...the avengers could be a lot. Especially for a civilian like you. And especially with Tony. So he wanted to spare you all of this.

That's why he couldn't show you to them. Not even a picture-that's also why his phone background was a picture of your dog. Even Bucky didn't know about you-which he always felt awful about. Normally he'd tell Bucky everything, but he felt it was the right thing to do. His best friend only knew he was currently seeing someone, no more no less.

Steve could tell Natasha was looking at his phone, but he had nothing to hide. Well, he did, but she couldn't see anything on his phone that would really tell her anything about you. Just a cute picture of your dog-and maybe the corner of your lips, gently smiling at the camera.

"So,...you really have a dog, huh?", asked the redhead, slowly inching closer. Steve knew they were all curious-but nobody dared invading his privacy. Not after the last time they did that.

Steve chuckled, slowly putting his phone away. „Yes, I do, why do you ask? I already told you…a few times", he said, slightly raising his eyebrows. He could already tell what Natasha wanted to talk about-so he played dumb. Sighing Natasha punched his shoulder lightly. „Just a dog or also the owner of the dog?", grinning, she wiggled her eyebrow.

It was one of many times where someone of the team tried to ask him about...well, about you. Or, the person he was seeing. "Just a dog, Nat", he said, grabbing his shield. Within a few seconds his demander changed. "We're landing in five. Get ready."

You were currently sitting with your dog, Roger (yeah, it wasn't Steve's idea), on your bed, trying to take a nap. Steve was on a mission-and you hated it. It was the middle of the night. He was supposed to be back a few hours ago-but he didn't text you or come home for the matter. You could tell something was wrong. Even Roger was restless.

Did something happen to-

Your ringtone interrupted your train of thoughts, sitting up you grabbed your phone.

Steve

"Hi! God I was so-" "I'm so sorry, to tell you this, I'm doctor Cho, one of Steve's doctors-" You didn't hear what she was talking about. A piece of you broke right then. Steve was hurt. Otherwise he'd have called you himself. Was he dead? Or dying? You knew how risky his job was, but...it didn't change a thing. You couldn't loose your lover like that.

“-needs surgery, he doesn't want it, not unless you're here", you heard Dr Cho saying. With tears in your eyes you nodded, remembering then that she couldn't see you. "Yes, I...I'll be there in twenty minutes."

You gave Roger a gentle kiss on the head, feeling awful for leaving him behind-but you knew you couldn't take him with you. "I'll be back soon, sweetie." With Steve, you hoped.

It didn't took you long to arrive at the Avengers Tower. Happy, one of Starks Employees brought you to the medical rooms. You could feel your heartbeat racing, your breathing quickend with every second. Happy didn't talk to you much-but you could tell he was being quite on purpose. It's like he knew you needed the silence to calm yourself down.

Entering the room you watched the avengers sit next to Steve's bed-he was in pain. Bruised and bleeding. God. He looked awful. His face was swollen. But he was alive. "Steve", you sobbed, immediately walking closer to his bed. Whoever was in your way stepped aside, not wanting to keep two lovers apart. "You god damn idiot-the doctor said you don't want surgery? You have to-", rambling you grabbed Steve's hand, gently squeezing. He groaned, turning his head your way, but not opening his eyes. It only made more tears stream down your face.

"You...needed you...", he mumbled, squeezing your hand right back. He tried to pull you closer, but couldn't really use any more strength. Understanding his wishes you sat down on the edge of his bed, brushing away hair from his forehead. He was pale. Weak...he looked like a ghost. Another sob wanted to escape your throat, but you held it back. He didn't need any more stress.

"I'm here, baby. I'm right here. I'll always be here", you mumbled into his hair, kissing his forehead. "You need the surgery. We'll talk after", Steve's eyes fluttered, trying to open them, but not succeeding. You've never seen him in such bad shape.

What happened? What the hell happened? He was a super soldier! Normally he could walk off a broken arm. But now? He couldn't open his eyes.

"I might...not make it", his words made you sob, even though you tried to hold it back. He buried his face into your neck, breathing your sweet scent in. The perfume, he bought you for your last birthday. Having you here helped him. Steve felt at peace. With you he could...just stop fighting.

But you didn't want him to stop.

"Steve, please. I'll wait for you-and you'll come back. We still have so much to do-we haven't had our honeymoon", you chuckled wetly, pulling him closer against your breast. You knew he liked to cuddle against your chest-always saying you were soft and like a perfect cushion. Every time he said that, you just laughed and shook your head. God, you've never thought of missing this stupid joke.

He couldn't leave you like that. He had to get better.

Steve exhaled, burying his face against you. "I can't...don't want to be without you...." "Steve, please...", you sobbed, hugging him closer. At this point you didn't even think about the avengers sitting around you, probably listening. It didn't matter. Steve was the only one you were now thinking about. And he needed to go into surgery. "Please, don't leave us", you whispered into his golden hair, grabbing his hand and putting his palm against your flat stomach.

He was quite for a moment. Only a mumble, you couldn't really understand. "Steve, I think I'm-I think I’m pregnant-I wanted to wait-I haven’t made a test yet-but-I’m already three weeks late. You're gonna be a daddy. Steve", you whispered, holding back more tears, cupping his face In your hands and carefully lifting his head. His lips twitched to a small smile, while his eyes flickered one more time. He opened them, but only a bit. "'m a daddy?", you nodded immediately. "So go get that surgery and don't leave us alone, please. We need you", sobbing you pressed your lips to his. Steve could taste your salty tears on your soft lips. He wanted to pull you closer-touch you-but he was to weak. He couldn't feel he was slowly drifting away. Loosing consciousness.

After getting the serum he’d never felt this weak before. It’s like he was back in Brooklyn, only a teenager, beaten till he had to be taken to the hospital-it only happened once and it was the only time he really felt scared to die.

"After surgery...", was the last thing he said, not being able to finish the whole sentence. Someone grabbed you, pulling you away from Steve, while they wheeled him into surgery.

Sobbing you felt your whole world break down-if someone hadn't hugged you, you probably would've fallen to the floor. This couldn't be the last time you saw Steve? Right? It couldn't-the two of you-no-you had so many plans-you wanted- "it's okay...he'll be okay...", you heard someone whisper into your ear. The person hugging you pulled you even closer. You buried your face into his solid chest, sobbing.

Bucky gently rubbed your back. He hadn't met you before-but he once noticed a picture of you on Steve's phone, while he showed him a funny meme-he never ask steve who you were. He kind of knew. Steve once told him he met someone-this someone had to be you. He was glad Steve found love in this new and foreign times.

It took you a few minutes till you calmed down. There were still tears storming down your face, but you weren’t sobbing like before. Bucky sat down with you, while Natasha brought you a glass of water-Tony let JARVIS check your vitals discreetly-just to make sure you were okay.

“I wish we wouldn’t have met like this but-but it’s nice to meet you”, you mumbled after a while, wiping away the tears. Bucky chuckled quietly, squeezing your hand. You could tell he was also holding back tears. “It’s nice to meet you-Y/N, right?”, you nodded. “Yeah-I…I know your names. Steve already told me, and…well, you’re quite often on the news”, chuckling you brushed your hair back, sipping your water.

Nobody said anything for a moment, before Sam cleared his throat. It may be a stressful situation but he was still curious. “So, how…how did you two met?”, a little smile crept into your lips. “It’s pretty embarrassing-for me, at least. I adopted my dog that day-and we went to the park. It was a great day. A really great walk, we played a lot-and I may or may not have thrown a frisbee at Steve, so Roger jumped him and-yeah, pretty embarrassing. I’ve never been good in sports, I guess”, you chuckled, making the rest of the team also laugh. “Frisbees are just Steve’s thing.”

After a few minutes Tony was already telling you about how he suspected Steve was seeing someone- “He once send a picture and I could’ve swear I saw someone in the windows reflection-but he brushed me off when I asked who it was. And then he also had a different background every week-often someone with a dog-“ “yeah, that was me. He didn’t want to have pictures with my face-knowing you’d let Jarvis just find me”, you laughed quietly. Tony thought for a few seconds.

That’s probably really what he would’ve done.

Natasha sat down next to you. You felt yourself getting a bit nervous-Natasha was intimidating. “I can’t believe Steve didn’t say anything-I mean, he’s a really bad liar. It’s incredible how he just kept you a secret-you two are what-married?”

You felt your blood rush to your cheeks, making you blush, while you shook your head. “Well-yes-but no. Not really. We have the rings, but there was no ceremony. Not even my parents know-and none of Steve’s family-which means none of you. We-or more like Steve-didn’t know how and when to tell you about our relationship. He was, and probably still is, scared. I’m just a civilian. When the world finds out…” “you’d be in danger”, Bucky finished.

After two hours another doctor came, telling you about Steve’s condition-apparently the hard part of the surgery was done.

“Steve was shot?”, you gasped. Natasha nodded. “Yeah, three times. Our suits are bulletproof, but they used something different. Some other weapons…but he did it to save me”, a little smile crept over your face when Natasha said that. It didn’t surprise you that Steve wanted to save her. “I’m glad you’re okay”, you whispered.

Another few hours passed while you all talked. The sun was already rising-god you had to feed Roger soon. And he probably had to go on a wa- “what are you thinking about?”, asked Tony, looking up from his phone. Sighing you shook your head slowly. “Roger will wake up soon. I’ve to go back and take care of him-but I really don’t want to leave“, Tony shrugged and tipped something on his phone. “Give me your keys and Happy will feed Rogers-” “Roger-“ “Yeah, whatever”, you laughed quietly, tossing him the keys.

When doctor Cho came back, you could feel your heartbeat race. Would she bring you good news? What if something happened? What if- “He’ll need rest, but everything went smoothly. There were no complications. The serum in his blood helped his body a lot”, she started. It’s the last thing you registered, before letting out a weak sigh. He’d be fine. Steve was alive.

After guiding you to Steve’s room you sat down on the edge of his bed, grabbing his hand. You were incredibly tired-you hadn’t slept all night. Even if you had tried, you probably couldn’t have. Not without knowing how Steve’s health was-but you finally knew. You could rest. Suddenly you felt everything hit you all at once. The stress, tiredness and hours of crying.

“Lay down, I’ll wait here too”, said Bucky, gently pushing you onto the bed, till you laid down next to Steve. It was a tight fit, but you always liked snuggling with him. “Okay, Buck. You’re really nice”, you mumbled, closing your eyes. Within seconds you fell asleep.

Bucky looked at Steve and you for a moment, a big grin on his face. “You really think she threw that frisbee accidentally?”

Natasha laughed, shaking her head. “There no way she failed to see him”, the two ex-assassins laughed.

They hoped you’d spend more time with them from now on-you we’re really nice. And apparently you also had many, many stories about Steve…Natasha definitely wanted to know how Steve managed to break your wardrobe, apparently walking into it.

In his defence, it was really dark.

That’s it! I really hope you enjoyed it! Let me know<3

Don’t forget to like, comment and reblog!

Feedback?<3

Requests are open.

[divinelolita]

i thought of this shi in class so why not give it to u

ngl u be needin more kaulitz twin stuff they be so cute💀 any type of fic bro i do not careeeeeee headcannons or fic u choose cuz im too lazy too🥰

ANYWAY

ahem

kaulitz twins bro who got a bf who is jus mean asf💀 like he's always mad n shi like there is no 'soft spot' for them tf he'll cuss them mfs out too just cause they started dating aint mean SHIT🙅🏾🙅🏾🙅🏾 he will back hand them no hesitation(too far but he still gon push em or smth)

but another thing i thought of is if he realized he actually hurt they feelings bro maybe at the same time or separate idk(bill or tom didnt say anything or show it but you could see) and since he doesn't know how to say sorry bro decided to be nice and fucking sweet🤷🏾 jus for a lil while tho🧍🏾making them food waking them up(IN A NICE WAY) giving them hugs letting them hug him(bro prolly hit them if they tried to hug him before) kiss them n shi doing cute couple stuff bro the basics he does not follow😪🤞🏾

a thought jus crossed me tom thinkin his bf fuckin broke like r u good🤨🤨🤨

KAULITZ TWINS X MEAN READER

doing seperate cuz i CANNOT write rn idek brah m gonna quit or smthhh 😭😭😭

BILL:

・I feel like he loves affection so much 🙁🙁

・He understands boundaries, he makes sure not to cross them

・BUT DEAR GOD HE JUS WANTS TO HOLD YOUUUUUU

・Pouts a little when you swat his hand away but overall tries not to make a big deal 'outta it

"don't hug me brah."

"....my bad."

・His love language has to do with more physical touch so it PAINS the mf but like 🤷🏻🤷🏻

・Sometimes the things you would say to him stung, but he knows that's just how you are and you don't mean to intentionally hurt him...or he hopes so.

・It gets to the point when he's blinking back tears, shrugging his shoulders and looking anywhere but you

・nahhh tbh he probably thinks he's dreaming when you start being nice

・like if YOU stretch out your arms for a hug? he's running to you and laughing omll

・If you only do this for a few days he takes ADVANTAGE of it.

・bro does not leave your side...like at all.

TOM:

・not that big on physical affection himself, he likes it but can definitely go without it

・Although it sucks he can't occasionally hug you or pull you to his side, often daydreams of holding you like that even though you're already together 🙁

・Doesn't know how to feel if you push his hand away, swat him on the arm, etc

・Like...bro's kinda sad but he knows you love him...hopefully. 💀

・Randomally slugging him in the arm? ohh shit he's mad

・DOESN'T REALLY LIKE YELL BUT OH MY LORDDD

"m/n what the fuck."

"wha'd i do?"

・He doesn't really care if you say something rude or snarky, words don't really get to him

・But damnn bro's getting cussed out and all he wanted to do was hold your hand while walking 😭😭😭

・EEEE MAKING HIM BREAKFAST IN BED? bro thinks your playing a trick on him tbh

"here, tom." and then it's just a plate full of fucking eggs, bacon, pancakes, etc.

・he thinks you're acting strange but bro gobbles that shit DOWNNN

[sugar-omi]

TRANS MASC COVE TRANS MASC COVE (sfw +nsfw hcs pls,, id love your thoughts)

NO BC NOW YOU'VE PUT THOUGHTS IN MY HEAD N I NEED HIM DESPERATELY eta while im in the middle of writing: after this i... i can no longer hold onto my fem!cove thoughts. n i am eating up trans!cove like a starving ANIMAL.

tags : SFW + NSFW, transmasc (ftm) cove, switch cove/reader, some mentions of body/gender dysmorphia, im sure theres 1 transphobe walking around sunset bird so the smallest mention of that clown

SFW

i've been seeing a lotta top surgery scar tattoos on my twt timeline lately, and pls some of them i need for myself bc they're so!!!! pretty!!!!

so i can definitely see him getting tattoos there

not because he wants to cover em up, i just think he sees so many flash sheets over time that he's SOLD

mmm i wanna say that fem/afab!cove would have small boobs

or B cups at most

either way, i almost wanna say that his boobs before surgery wouldn't bother him as much unless someone was sexualizing him or he was exercising n his boobs were bouncing too much or smth like that

even then its usually complaints of, "ugh, this bra isn't supportive..." or something like that

ofc he still has his moments

i also think he only binds sometimes, rarely

doesn't do it often since it's often hot outside, or especially if he's sporty, its uncomfortable

(also looked it up just to be sure) but since he's always on the beach its inconvenient/unnecessary to wear if he can't wear it in the water

but like i said i think he'd be pretty flat/small anyway, so i think he's okay

mm definitely doesn't give up having long hair, or wearing the occasional dress/skirt ofc

but will correct one of the old sunset bird residents if they try and say "see honey, it was a phase, you're wearing a dress today!"

also idk abt yall, n this is more of a general thought, but i feel like step 2 cove's impulse control is. deathly low.

so one day, he has long/long-ish hair

and the next he has a mullet, wolf cut, or buzz cut.

he's so chaotic to me pls

now i've had fem!cove on my mind for weekssss now

so i'm not just saying this

but cove is still buff

thick muscly thighs, NICE ARMS. REALLY NICE ARMS

mm so i feel like he looks pretty androgynous or masc anyway

now im projecting here.

but cove has irregular periods, n they're pretty heavy most the time

or lasts awhile (ok im done projecting. sorry cove</3)

also think he deals with cramps (IM SORRY COVE)

i think his period is the biggest trigger of his body/gender dysmorphia too

although i think fem!cove would hate her period anyway altho tbf who doesnt

he'd definitely appreciate some comfort!!!

bring him another heating pad, your comfiest hoodie or blanket and snacks

he's very happy for the thoughtfulness and the company

step 2 cove would definitely be moved by such thoughtfulness... he's in tears

so after the first time it's a trend to spend time together in his bed, watching movies or something while he's cuddled into your side or next to you in a cove-rrito, all sleepy n comfy...

NSFW

had to stop writing the SFW to write this bc i had a thought

cove laid out all pretty... his chest rising and falling and he's all teary eyed as you're between his legs, eating his cunt until he's seeing stars.

pls his cunt with be so sensitive, and he'd be so pretty to fuck

would shake so much too

his thighs quivering so bad he clamps around your hand

you'd have to hold his legs up so he doesn't nearly flatten your head between his thick thighs

"y/n!" cove cries, his hands tangled in your hair and he's trying so hard not to squish your head between his thighs, but your tongue is flat against his sensitive clit, sucking and bullying the poor button while your fingers make a loud, sloppy mess of his hole.

he whines, hips shaking in your hands.

you tighten your grip on his waist, your fingers digging into the flesh, grumbling irritably around his clit but cove just cries out a loud moan and slurred word, torn between your name, a cuss word, and a cry for god.

you pull of his clit, your fingers still curling against that spongy spot inside his sloppy walls. "stay still, you're gonna crush my head..." you start to kiss his thighs, small kisses turning into you sucking deep hickeys into his tan skin, and that turning into biting.

cove gasps for air, his eyes fluttering closed as he squirms.

"fuck, y/n, please..." he mumbles, tugging at the bedsheets.

you stop the assault on his thighs, leaning up on your elbows so you can give cove a kiss, your lips lazily moving together...

anyway... horny aside for a moment<333

mm i could see cove not getting or really wanting bottom surgery

i think trans cove would be pretty comfortable with his body's appearance overall

and he's probably read into it a lot since it's not like he hasn't thought about it, i could just see him probably deciding its not something he wants

ARGGHH HE'D BE A DEMON WITH THE STRAP THOUGH

ahh. cove holding you down or folding your legs against your chest while he slams his hips against yours...

his strap hitting your poor prostate / cervix, he'd coo about how cute your whines are and that you're making him leak

would definitely upset he can't fill you up w cum

especially if you wanna get pregnant, rambles about how much he wishes he could fill you up with his cum again and again and again...

arghhh fuck imma lose my MIND

definitely takes advantage of those squirting dildos

can at least admire how you look oozing milky lube

omfg definitely wakes up all excited to tell you if he dreamed about it too...

has an array of straps

we already know he has a tentacle dildo or two deep in his closet...

yeah tries them out on you

"don't get tired yet, i have one more.. and it has a knot!!!"

he just likes to experiment on you a little~~ bit <333

ohh please tell him he looks handsome/sexy while you're giving him head

he'll die.

FUCK HE'D GO CRAZY IF YOU RIDE HIM TOO I KNOW IT

yeah he's still the same cute, secretly horny, big crybaby pookie <3333 i love him pls

[isa-ghost]

*places down some money*

Phil headcannons please

*eats the coins whole*

Other qPhil headcanons

He means it 1000% when he says he'd burn the entire island to the ground for the kids. No building would be safe. Not even his own. All bets would be off. And if one of the other parents would do the same for their kid? He'd be right there with them.

He loves every egg, dead and alive alike. He has no clue what any of them think of him, and tbh he'd probably be overly humble or vaguely negative abt it bc he's just so shitty to himself when it comes to image related things, thinking they probably find him weird or smth. But he loves them all, and even if any of the eggs DO have a negative opinion of him, he'd still shed blood sweat and tears for them.

GUYS PLEASE THIS IS CANON BUT he is SO BAD at picking up on certain things if not explicitly told. If you have an issue with bird man you have to TELL HIM. He has a million other things on his mind and he has survival brain on by default which means several other things are taking up brainspace, he doesn't have the means to be looking for subtle signs someone isn't happy with him. FUCKING COMMUNICATE WITH HIM!!

Idk I just think Fit, Pac & Mike should convince him to get high with them. But I can't tell if I want to say he'd actually chill out for once & get a lil goofy or if he'd be the type that gets super anxious & hates every second he's stoned

Has a manga collection. It's not that big series-wise, he's a completionist so his collection is big bc he collects every volume of a series he's interested in. He has all of Bleach ofc, most of Chainsaw Man, probably 1-3 other series. He's preoccupied with other things usually so he hasn't read any of them in ages, but Chayanne has been going WILD reading them when he's not out and about

He gets sluttier when he's drunk. That confidence boost he gets when he's drunk enough goes places. Particularly when he's around Fit (Fit's a bad influence /pos)

Tbh? If his usual civil disobedience and the like don't work, I would not put it past him to follow Cellbit's example and just start killing Feds. I don't know how canon Phil's past is but if this is the man who helped create the Antarctic Empire or the man that leveled an entire country? Quesadilla Island's days are numbered and it will be Specifically to spite Cucurucho and any other Fed that's responsible for whatever Phil has an issue with. All it takes is taking his kids away again or hurting his friends :)

Fr tho if/when he finds out what they did to Jaiden or Baghera or anyone of the other islanders? He WILL be unleashing hell for them.

He's ready at all times to die for someone. The goal is to Not die, but if it comes to it, better him than them. And in classic hypocritical Phil fashion, he vehemently refuses to allow anyone to do the same for him. The survivor's guilt would be too much for him.

Outwardly, he processes grief and stress with humor. Because if he doesn't, he'll shut down emotionally and mentally. But don't think for a second that internally, he's a wreck. He's angry, he's in pain, he's stressed, he's conflicted, he's grieving. He just won't let anyone know he is. He doesn't like admitting it.

That said, GOD do hugs and random acts of kindness during tough/dark times get him. It's a hit straight to the heart. He'll get emotional before he can stop it or mask it. They mean more than anything, and they're the quickest way to make him realize just how much shit he's shouldering and bottling up.

Currently his greatest fear is the Federation finding out about or asking him questions related to Ender King. Normally he'd at least prepare how to answer such questions. In this case he has no clue what to say, which really stresses him out. And he knows fleeing the conversation wouldn't go well.

He doesn't typically do anything special with his hair but goddamn it looks good in a short braid. He only ever does smth with his hair for certain events, like Festa Junina. And that was mostly because Lullah insisted.

If the Federation one day declared every islander needed some kinda career for whatever weird reason, Phil's would be photography.

Don't listen to his complaining. He REALLY likes that there's so many birds around the house. Prefers them outside but he likes them around regardless.

[queenofmistresses]

can you do headcannons of blitz and a reader who has c-ptsd? like him accidentally triggering them, and then the reader tells him (or not) about what happened, then him trying his best to comfort whenever another trigger happens or sees them in distress? or smth like that (i have c-ptsd and it’s been a rough week lmao)

a/n Hey lovely! hope that this is good!! sorry you've had a tough week babes, and I hope that this makes it feel a little better!! I used my experience with c-ptsd and how easy it is to get triggered and spiral from the slightest change in other peoples behaviours so I hope it resonates with you... or I hope it doesn't because it's not nice... you know what i mean...

He doesn't even have a fucking client to kill for and he's still at work. I've asked Loona and she said that they haven't had a new client all week. Jesus if he didn't want to spend time with me he should have just said so, I can take it! But why doesn't he? He normally seems to like it. Did I do something? Okay calm down. There's no reason to panic right?! Let's just... make him some lunch and take it in for him and I'm sure he'll explain everything then and it'll be fine!

I desperately try to keep telling myself it'll be fine as I walk into IMP with 2 packed lunches in hand. I drop one of them off on Loona's desk where she's on her phone and she looks up and gives me a small smile, thanking me before she looks back at her phone. Okay so nothing weird there, Loona would know if something was wrong so everything must be fine right?

I lightly tap on the door with a warning and let myself in, trying to smile brightly and walk to the desk. He doesn't even glance up at me. "H-hey Blitzø, I brought lunch!" I say with as much enthusiasm as I can muster, which isn't much. He makes a slight grunting noise in acknowledgement and doesn't stop working.

Oh god. I've messed it all up. I don't know what I did but I must have done something. I feel tears filling my eyes as I stand over his desk. Shit. I quickly rush out of the room, shutting the door gently behind me and avoiding making eye contact with Loona as I sniff and wipe my eyes. I feel Loona look at me but I practically run out of the room and the building, heading straight home.

By the time I get there I can barely breathe and I'm heaving in the smallest amounts in the hopes of getting something in. My eyes search the room and I find the smallest corner that I could fit myself into a rush towards it, squeezing myself in and bringing my knees up to bury myself into them.

Now the tears are streaming down my face faster than I can breathe and I want to die and I can't breathe and why can't I fucking breathe? I've started to feel light headed and I don't know how long I've been sat here for but I know that I'm taking up too much space and I need to shrink. My arms tighten around my knees and I pull myself into an impossibly smaller ball and fucking hell it isn't enough. I barely know where I am. Am I 5 years old hiding in my room after being shouted at? Am I 9 years old crying because everyone in my house keeps ignoring me and why does no one ever want me around? Am I 21 with my boyfriend telling me just how stupid and pathetic I am? Am I 23 with my next boyfriend telling me that I'm making shit up just to make myself the victim? I don't know. I can't tell anymore. It's like every moment of my life is happening at once and at the same time my mind is empty and numb and hollow.

Somewhere in the distance I hear a door open but I can't register it over the fog of my mind and the ringing in my ears. Hands touch me and I flinch, pulling away hard. It must just be another part of my mind. But then, I don't know when anyone's touch has felt so gentle. I can hear them talking. Some part of me feels safe at the sound of their voice, and while my head is screaming at me to run and hide, I try to focus on their voice, on what they're saying. To focus on where they're touching me.

The tears slow and I can breathe again and I realise where I am. And more specifically who is holding me so sweetly. I feel his tail wrapped tight around one of my legs, and his arms holding me against his chest. When did he start holding me like this? I didn't even feel him move me around.

“Shh shh it’s okay, it’s just me.” I hear him whisper among a series of sweet sentiments as he tries to reassure me. I look up at him, barely registering how awful I must look, and meet his eyes. He looks so scared, but at the same time I’ve never seen him this soft. “Here there, you’re back!” His voice has turned nervous now as he looks away and scratches the back of his head.

“I- um-” I sniff, "Oh god Blitz you must think I'm so fucking pathetic I'm so fucking sorry." The fear starts to set in again, knowing how this goes every single time. Why was he even here? But now he just looks confused.

"Sorry?! Why are you sorry?? I mean I don't really fucking understand what's going on but I don't think you're pathetic babe. Know who's pathetic? Moxxie. And you are no Moxxie." He looks both serious and distracted at the same time, clearly thinking about Mox for a moment before bringing his attention back to me. “W-what is going on?” He stumbles on his words as he asks and even though it terrifies me to bare my soul to him, I can see the concern on his face and I can’t keep it in.

Next thing I know I’m talking way more than I had planned. Spilling my entire life to him. And he listens. Somehow he doesn’t even interrupt, and Blitzø is the king of interrupting. But he stays quiet, and I can see that he’s absorbing every word.

He holds me for the rest of the night, reassuring me that he’s not going anywhere, apologising for brushing me off and explaining he was trying to come up with an idea for advertisement of the business. I feel exhausted after my breakdown but I force my eyes to stay open as long as possible until I fall asleep, comfortably surrounded by his entire body.

[skayafair]

Episode 6 Rewatch

Well the past impression didn't lie, ep 6 is pretty heart-wrenching.

The highlights:

Want to hug Crystal, Monty and Edwin one by one and altogether 😖

Crystal because of how desperate she sounded when saying "yes I'm nothing special so LEAVE ME ALONE" - I'm not sure if she meant it or not, but the will to admit anything, no matter how humiliating it is if it means relief, that her stalker would finally fuck off, - was enough to feel for her so much. Crystal is so cool and this was such a raw scene 😭

Also her safe place that will be with her i matter what, no matter any mistakes - you just CAN'T go wrong with it, it's THIS unconditional - and is at the same time has been within her all along still makes me tear up. I lack this - confidence, acceptance, just some inner grounds to stand on. Of course I create it by the power of will and mind, but gods I wish I could have smth like this. So that final understanding - it's been inside you all along - is what does it for me. I know this scene is supposed to show the power of Crystal's ancestry, that she always has her roots and they are good and strong, and this is very important. But I come from a different background and am not really attached to both my family lines, so to me this scene was about finding the inner grounds within oneself, self-acceptance and learning to be compassionate towards oneself unconditionally. No one will give it to you (in adult life there's no such thing as an unconditional love if the relationship is healthy), you have to do it yourself first and foremost. So it was very... therapeutic.

Akso I kinda envy Charles because he got to protect Crystal and kick that demon's ass. The scene was so well-built that I really wanted to do that myself. This doesn't happen often. You go Charles! <3

Now, Monty - because of what I was talking about in my previous rewatch post, mostly him coping with rejection (badly, which is normal for a teenager even if he's a magical one and especially when he's been a crow just a few days ago and all this feelings stuff is new), finding a new light when Edwin said he still cares a great deal, the quarrel (Edwin I know why you went into a defensive mode and don't judge you for that but I'm still JUDGING ON AVERAGE who's older between you two?!) and then just... spilling all the beans to Esther while KNOWING she won't take it well. Did he feel suicidal or something? 🥹

I also want to talk about this:

But that's a topic for another post and not just about DBD.

And, finally, Edwin. Save for his immature "you're still a crow" (again, completely understandable but I'm still judging) he's been coping like a king. Having a talk with Monty (also I guess it's a parallel with how he will feel in ep 7 after his confession to Charles 🥹), telling the Cat King off (MORE angry Edwin who doesn't hold back, pls, that was A SIGHT ❤️‍🔥 I generally like it A LOT how he's gradually unwinding as the series goes, letting out his emotions one by one - fear, anger, swearing - it's a very good and not that easy to learn thing), apologizing to Crystal (and their dynamic in general, pls I like it so much), and finally gathering his courage to talk to Charles and confess his feelings, not letting any of Charles' assumptions sway him from this decision. The last one is the most raw, I was just clenching my fists and tensing all over. I know how hard and terrifying it is to admit something to your partner, your best and closest friend, to the person you treasure the most in the world - something that may make you lose them. But also Edwin was absolutely right - once you recognize these feelings, it's nearly impossible to keep them in. I did so for months and they were eating me inside out, so I can't help admiring his courage. Yes this whole situation hits very close to home for me in more ways than one, why

Another highlight is Niko's reconciliation with Jenny. I really like the way it was handled because yes, Niko was wrong to meddle and she should learn to respect others' boundaries, no, Jenny wasn't obliged to have a talk with her. But Niko is a teenager who's not that great socially-wise (and autistic-coded), she's just learning how to navigate all this, and I understand her drive to help people, to do good very well. She made a mistake with a terrible aftermath and has to learn her lesson AND to take the responsibility. And Jenny CHOSE to give her this opportunity - probably because she recognized the situation as something similar that happened to her some time in the past, onky by the looks of it there was no one there for her, so she didn't want Niko to suffer the same. This plot line is beautiful no matter what side you look at it from. It's kind, and gods know we could all use as much kindness as possible now.

The forest elemental my dear <3

Also, what does PLV 4s mean?

P.S. During this episode I started noticing Charles positively staring at Edwin. The whole Monty's entrance sequence on the roof? Charles didn't take his eyes off Edwin, it was A LONG stare. Like. Sorry bro there was nothing straight about it, and I'm not even crazy about the ship in the first place because I've been on either side of their povs and both aren't great. So I'd say I have as little bias as possible in this case and it was still NOTHING STRAIGHT. Bro. Your bi awakening is obviously waiting for you in s2 if it happens.

[imrllytootiredforthis]

literally just read all of ur txt work i cant even make up my mind for an ask bc…. so much to think… just bratty slutty yj… oral fixation oh my god!!! a whimpering mess so out of it sigh i need u to elaborate on this heavy

oh and elaborate i will...and eventually i'll actually write smth😅

yeonjun has two common moods; the one where he'll brat out entirely-challenge you and taunt you the entire time until he's actually fucked too dumb to even speak

this is when you can either edge or overstimulate the poor boy to the point of tears-cheeks all flushed, skin sweaty and heavy sobs combined with pants and moans filling the room

he'd be so pretty all strewn out in front of you😫 trying to keep going with his bratty quips, shakily asking you of that's all you can do but a single 'shut up slut' and a slap to his bare thigh has him shuddering and whimpering.

for more or for you to stop, he doesn't know anymore, he's too far gone to tell. his mind is a haze and his legs won't stop shaking but he still tries to keep going, enjoying the anger-lit flame in your eye a little bit too much

it's fun and oh so fucking hot when he's like this-but it's exhausting for both of you

and so then there's the other one when the energy or the time isn't available-when he's just so desperate for you that there's no energy to brat out and he just wants to be taken care of-or used-either one works more than fine for him

this is when his oral fixation come in full force, whether it's sucking on your nipples as you ride him or letting his head fall back and begging for you to spit on him

i think that he'd really really like 69ing, he doesn't mind being on top but prefers bottom bc he loves the way your thighs feel around his head.

he'd give head like a man starved, moaning and whining, writhing and clutching desperately at your hips and thighs. he tries to focus on you but your mouth just feels so good his brain is all fuzzy in pleasure, trying not to cum in an embarrassingly short amount of time

after both of them he'll need extensive aftercare, cuddles and sweet praises, the very best for your yj. he'll be all soft and cuddly and adorable😫

[trashcanwithsprinkles]

hi hi!

I've read cyanide narwhal a couple times now and I fall in love with the world building every time - that's all a compliment, but I wanted to talk about my favorite part of all

SKIRK (the older one)

(oh my god how could you do this to meee)

I think you did a wonderful job expanding all the character relationships but there's something about Skirk's quiet motherhood in the face of Ajax's admiration that tears me apart every time I read you fic

I just want to know, does he ever find out about the way she feels about him? her regrets? her love? 😭

honestly i'm torn between two possibilities bc i feel like both would fit:

a) she never tells him outright, but with the eons after and how much they just get each other, it's like ajax on his own sort of understands it. like at some point skirk will just look at him a certain way and he'll know, and skirk will know he knows, and that'll be enough

but also b) she could just one day tell him, at insistence and with the help of like- istaroth and pheynix (who are a bit less brick-wall-y with their feelings) and probably also guizhong. and so she just- when they're alone one day she just tells him, and they both get very emotional and it's all angsty and sweet and stuff. probably the one and only time skirk would ever cry tbh (and ajax would be bawling) and guizhong and morax would prob walk in on them at like the last stretch and go and gather them in a group hug or smth idk

i feel like it could go either way

maybe even both at once? like by the time she tells him he already sort of knows, but doesn't know like- the extent of it, or the specifics or whatnot. and they still cry it out. yeah that sounds like the best alternative hahah

[trashlie]

hey this is lil anon again :3 listen we're all so feral about the latest fp episode can i just talk about it some more please and dump my thoughts here bc oh my god so many thoughts 🙏🏾 you can leave my other, longer ask in your inbox for now if you want to it's totally fine bc sdhfgdhfjksdhfk FERAL

PLEASE it is actually soooo funny how maya asks such a simple question: "why is he your friend?" - and shinae just explodes and goes off at the him in her head HISS GROWL I WANT YOU AND IF I CAN'T HAVE YOU THEN YOU'RE NOT GONNA HAVE ANYTHING OF MINE and maya just stares at her in shock and disbelief like: 😶😶😶. and you are ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. how can she possibly put nol and what he means to her and what she feels for him into words??? something something if i loved you less i might be able to talk about it more. shinae is so intense and bold and fiery I LOVE THAT SOOOOOO MUCH and tbh compared to shinae, nol is handling his feelings like a champ actually 😹 like at least the tiger hasn't bitten anyone (yet) LMAOOOOOOO he's been holding back a lot, trying his best to stay composed, mortified by his desire to kiss her because how dare he even *think* about that. it's the same intensity, the same feelings at the same time but he's very in his head, meanwhile shinae - the feral little cat - is just completely unhinged and off the rails. it's incredible. poor girl, all these new feelings and realizations hitting her all at once and she's understandably SO ANGRY that she can NOT control it and go back to normal, that he's making her such a mess, passed out on the bed bc it was all too much for her to handle.

you know, before 235 i thought their meeting would be… on the soft/sweet/wholesome(?) side bc of the new shyness and nervousness and vulnerability that comes with these realizations, maybe a through the door conversation without directly facing each other (like i mentioned in my longer ask), but we've kinda had that with the balcony "you're special to me" scene, right. so idk maybe shinae will just storm in there a fiery raging whirlwind of emotions and be all like how DARE you steal my heart and then try to get rid of me and run away, you asshole. IF YOU WON'T GIVE ME BACK MY HEART, THEN I NEED YOU TO BE MINE!!!!! it sounds so dramatic but seeing what all this is doing to shinae, how it brings out the fiery bold possessive assertive side in her, who knows??? she's for sure not letting go without leaving her claw marks on him. as she should.

and YES YES it's def both jealousy and insecurity. i didn't expect it to come up as part of her realization simply bc it wasn't on my mind tbh, but it works so well as part of the ✨realization process✨!! if just platonic then you don't get jealous and insecure, then it (typically) doesn't matter if/who they're dating. but if you can't stomach them being with anyone else but you, if you want them all to yourself, then sorry but that is NOT "friends". and there's definitely a comment here to be made about how alyssa isn't just some random hot girl, she's an idol and as such she embodies what's conventionally attractive and desirable, smth smth beauty standards patriarchy society. and she leaves nol cold but shinae still can't help but become hyperaware of it all bc everything you said ;; i can't get over the "timing" of this scene either bc we see shinae crying happy tears and for a moment she's forgotten her drama but then BAM suddenly there's gorgeous glamorous idol alyssa dancing on stage, and nol is there, looking at her, and they're both at this elite event in this world that shinae is simply not a part of. and. smth smth alyssa being a good dancer nol being a good dancer meanwhile shinae has two left feet. it's like the universe is laughing at her, telling her "she is all that and you aren't, she can have him and you don't". and as if it's not enough, of course it's the girl who gave her all this trauma. of course. how can it not sting her how can she not become insecure honestly ;; i too would immediately lose my appetite :<

(there's also the juxtaposition of shinae being surrounded by unconditional love, a supportive family, in a peaceful home where she can be raw and messy, fully accepted as she is, bags under her eyes and snot on her face and all; meanwhile alyssa is all glammed up, on the tv screen, putting on a performance for strangers that will only ever love her conditionally, that will never know the real her, is in a group that doesn't like her, is in an unsafe environment, surrounded by people who prey on girls like her, no one by her side 😔💔) i also wonder a little bit if not nol himself could (unintentionally of course) play into shinae's insecurity… especially in this initial stage bc like. he's a conventionally attractive dude; tall, handsome, nice smile, he's charming, he's got a rich dad too. shinae isn't stupid she's very aware of this. she's noticed how women reacted to him at the formal. one of them even commented that "he's way out of her league" or smth like that when she saw them together (which :/// shallow rich people talk 🙄)… and when it's friendship then you don't care, and she didn't care back then, and rationally she knows nol is not shallow like that, that she really shouldn't worry about such things, but when you're so young, inexperienced, have low self-esteem, are in such an emotional state, then suddenly you start questioning yourself on this shallow level. why would someone with his looks and money be interested in me, when he could have (and does have) an "alyssa-level" girl? sure he might like me as a friend but would he ever want me like that? it's like when you're crushing on the hot guy you've been friendly with and suddenly become all too aware of the hot girl that all the boys (and girls) have their eyes on. you just can't help but be aware that you're simply not her :/ yeah i think. she's going to need affirmation and reassurance re: what alyssa is/was to him, but i think more importantly, she'd need it about herself, what he likes about her, how he feels about her, that he doesn't want anyone else, that she *is* beautiful in her own way even if she doesn't see it herself, and then she'll hopefully grow more confident from it ~

-feral lil anon 😼

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I'm so sorry it took me all day to get to this response! I could NOT pull my brain together and kept getting distracted and having more feral breakdowns about Stalkyoo alfkajkfjkafjkafjka lmao and then I had to cry about my babies performing tonight and I have been through EMOTIONS but also ALSO I LOVE THIS MESSAGE SO MUCH I'm gonna do my best to do it justice because you ABSOLUTELY bring up things I also want to yell more about!!!!

There's something SO funny to me about how much Nol and Shinae mirror each other. That we now can tell they started to fall for each other at the same time and it just kept growing, that it's on the SAME DAY that they're becoming aware of these feelings, in much the same way - yknow, being so embarrassed to have FEELINGS lmao. But YES Nol does a much better job containing it at all. I want to say it's probably because he's so used to hiding everything, holding things in, but we also know he came so very close to just biting Shinae before he kicked her out lmao and it's not like Shinae hasn't also been decent at pretending things aren't wrong, but MAN she's so beyond her breaking point at this stage, isn't she lmaooooooo She CAN'T contain it - it's too big, too loud, too messy, so carnal. She's been trying for so long to keep shoving it into this box it doesn't fit and it just keeps growing bigger and bigger and spilling out. Something so funny to me about her is that Shinae.... like she kinda externalizes a lot and I'm trying to figure out how to explain this because clearly she isn't good at telling people about her problems, but as a result of being alone so much she talks through her thoughts out loud, to Lil Buddy, so of course for this she NEEDED to externalize to Maya. Because yes, it's so messy, it's spilling out everywhere and the more she tries to make sense of it the bigger a mess she makes and Maya really DID have to put it in words for her. I know I said I wanted Shinae to come to the conclusion without anyone else saying it but I still love how this played out because she still said, OF HER OWN FREE WILL, "If I can't have you" LIKE GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But also we know that Shinae just has an EFFECT on Nol and while he's doing a good job keeping things at bay, all things considered, I think the moment she goes back to his hospital room it's all gonna just be.... *sweeps papers off the desk* lmao

Another tangential thought I've had is that neither of them have really gotten to BE teenagers. Nol is forever having to play a game of making sure he doesn't make too many waves, doesn't get noticed. Likewise, Shinae has had to be the good girl while her dad is always busy working, not get into trouble, take care of herself, get good grades. Maya goes on to remind us, too, that Shinae didn't even HAVE any social experiences beyond what happened in middle school, just. Rolls with things stopped making friends. There's so many teenager moody things that they've largely missed out on and we're seeing so much of that come bubbling out. Yes, Shinae's moodiness is mostly because girl is CRANKY she hasn't slept she hasn't eaten and she's scaling the walls trying to figure out why she thinks her friend is pushing her away (he's not) and what she has to do to make him stay (figure out feelings) and she's just SO frustrated it all spills out. Relatable. I, too, become an awful monster when I haven't slept LMAO but it's just SO nice to see them have this moment? Get to be selfish and moody and a little bratty when they have spent so long trying to just be good and get by. Let them have a tantrum or three, it's fine!

Also LITERALLY SAME. I thought Shinae would realize her feelings, maybe balk at them, hide away for a day, try to deny them, then become determined and go back to him but too shy to look him in the eyes to face him, yes maybe talk through the door so this was SUCH a surprise but YEAH YOU ARE RIGHT! They already had that tender shy little moment. Now they can just be. Feral lmaooooooo listen idc how corny it is I'm exploring EVERY possibility I can, writing half-baked fic moments in my head. I want Shinae to wake up and go in guns BLAZING I want her to say dumb things she doesn't stop to think about FINE IF I CAN'T HAVE YOU YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY OF MY THINGS what are you talking about I SAID YOU'RE A THIEF AND THAT'S WHY YOU'RE GOING TO PRISON GIVE ME BACK MY THINGS something something there's one thing he can't give back something something you're a thief, too alkfjkfjFKAFKJAKJF SCREAMS I need Nol to just say something SO blunt that makes her stop in her tracks aljakfjkafjafjk lmao I need her confessing in every which way but the words again, until he's standing too close SCREAMS

idk idk idk however it goes I know I'm going to love it because they just are going at it with such equal energy and I'm PRETTY SURE Dieter is going to talk to Nol while Shinae sleeps so maybe that will give Nol the conviction to say what he couldn't, now that Shinae has figured out the answer to "why isn't because friends" enough. Actually, more than anything, I want Nol to end up in the kind of position where he blurts something out without thinking or he acts on his feelings just BLINDLY because I just need him to see that he can't keep running from things and pretending and that Shinae is someone he cannot resist so make the right choices, boy. I need him to understand how much he wants her and deserves to ACT ON THAT ALFJKAFLJAFAJFLKJAFJF RRRRRRRRR FRRTFTT GROWL HISSSSSSSSS

but alfjakfjkfajfka THE INSECURITIES GET TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE because YES at the end of the day it's not just anyone. It's ALYSSA. The very person who gave Shinae her trauma, the person who GAVE HER HER ACTUAL SCAR. It's not the first time Shinae has envied something of Alyssa, either - Alyssa with her warm, beautiful mom and her big home and all her opportunities and her family so suffocating by being parents, Alyssa with her many talents with her intelligence. I really REALLY like the point, too, that it's not just Nol looking at Nol, it's Nol at that party in a world that Shinae is not a part of, doesn't belong to. Logic doesn't stand much against insecurity and jealousy or else she'd be able to remind her that Nol doesn't much like the world he technically belongs to, that Alyssa doesn't make him happy. Somewhere in her jealousy she sees the way she measures to Alyssa in these shallow ways and it hurts to come up short like that! AND RIGHT the girls at the gala saying Nol is out of her league! Shinae is like... aware that Nol is handsome (she literally said VERY handsome) but most of the time it doesn't seem to be a thing she thinks about - mostly because she hasn't really openly thought about him in a romantic way. But now that she's got these feral feelings about trying to keep him and have him and know him and see all the parts of him that he hides from her, she's facing the reality of how she looks to others, compared to him, compared to Alyssa. Sangchul has even implied it a couple times - Nol has a hot idol girlfriend so what is it about Shinae that's so special why is he hung up on her, what does she do that can possibly be better than a hot idol girlfriend.

And if there's something I love it, it's the tender unfurling petals of first love and the insecurity and jealousy that blooms with it, that ache that you aren't good enough that you can't possibly compare, because it leads to the REASSURANCES. Nol has SO many reasons to prefer Shinae, so many reasons to have fallen for her. I REALLY feel like we'll have a callback to that day Shinae asked Nol why Dieter might like to date her, when he told her he has a couple reasons in mind. Like... self consciousness and feeling inadequate is an awful feeling but I LOVE how it can be used in text, because also right: IF PLATONIC WHY FEEL LIKE THIS? Jealousy can be a useful device when it's not toxic and in this case it's someone like Shinae who has never really been made to feel like she's special, who has never seen anything in herself, realizing that she has fallen SO HARD for her friend who has a bombshell girlfriend and is super handsome and himself and comes from this elite world of affluent people. But there's also so much Shinae doesn't know about him yet, either, so much she hasn't had a chance to digest about him. She's seeing things at face value but I need him to tell her to her face that she makes him feel a kind of peace that NOTHING else does, that he cannot help but gravitate to her, that she's LITERALLY made his life worth living. Remind her that even though he was trying to avoid her, he failed SO miserably. Nol didn't get to tell Shinae at the party what he likes about her and DAMNIT I WANT TO HEAR IT!!!!!!!!! Especially because we've seen Shinae's POV of him at this poignant moments, I want to hear from Nol's mouth what he likes about her, the way he sees her. Like her, does he feel like clouds part when she's near, does she make all of the noise quiet for the moment? Does he find himself wanting her to notice more, wanting to steal more of those private moments where they open to each other?

I WANT TO HEAR IT SO BADLYYYYYYYYYYY and I want her to know that she doesn't have to compare herself to Alyssa, that there's no one in that world who has ever caught his attention the way she has. That no amount of money could make anyone from that society better than her. That it's not about any of that - it's about what she makes him feel. Just as much as Nol has had such an impact on Shinae, we've seen it in Nol. I agree that it's far too soon for her to know that he's literally still alive because of her lmao (that's just so much it's so overwhelming!!!!) but there are other ways she's impacted his life. When he told her he really hoped she'd get the job working with them, I think he meant it. Life was more interesting with her in it, he wanted to be around her more before Yui reminded him of what she does.

Like idk to me that insecurity is such a quintessential aspect of puberty and teenage years and first love. That rush of trying to see how others perceive you and the reassurance that comes from the person you like? GOD. And especially for people like Nol and Shinae, who have felt so invisible, so underappreciated, who have never really been made to feel special, having this with each other just LKFJAJKFJAFKAFKAFJLJAFLKJFKf

Also don't think I haven't forgotten about Yujing complimenting Shinae, or that moment when Nol made her laugh during her dance with Kousuke. How he was literally right in her face doing her make up and how it just augmented how pretty she already is. While I don't think he probably has that conscious thinking of it - gee golly Shinae sure is pretty because you know.... *gestures vaguely at his life* i SO BADLY want him to tell her that ;A; that she's beautiful ;A; like to be fair I think something about Stalkyoo that is SO well done is that it's all so deeply based on connection and the way those feelings developed as a result, as opposed to attraction first, but especially in the light of Shinae feeling so jealous and insecure, I want him to saaaaayyyyyyyy iiiiiiiiiiiiit. I want him to tell her how pretty she is when she laughs and lights up, what a beautiful smile she has and that he wants to be the one who makes her smile more I WANT THE CHEESY FUCKING SHIT DAMNIT I DON'T CARE I'M NOT GONNA PRETEND OTHERWISE ALKJAKFJKAFKJAFJKAFAFKJLKJAF SCALES THE WALL SCURRIES ACROSS MY CEILING AND STARTS CHEWING THROUGH MY CEILING FAN

I want him to reassure that there is not ONE way she pales against someone like Alyssa, that she is worth so much more to him ;A; howls

I WANT HIM TO TOUC HER FACE WITH HIS BIG STUPID HANDS AND BRUSH HIS THUMB ACROSS HER CHEEK AGAIN AND CONFESS THAT HE IS SO MISERABLY INCAPABLE OF RESISTING HER AND THAT NO ONE ELSE COULD POSSIBLY COMPARE BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE HAS EVER MADE HIM FEEL SO SEEN, FEEL LIKE HE MATTERS, NO ONE ELSE HAS EVER MADE HIM WANT TO BREAK HIS OWN RULES

JUST SCREAMING INTO THE NIGHT

also ;A;

(there's also the juxtaposition of shinae being surrounded by unconditional love, a supportive family, in a peaceful home where she can be raw and messy, fully accepted as she is, bags under her eyes and snot on her face and all; meanwhile alyssa is all glammed up, on the tv screen, putting on a performance for strangers that will only ever love her conditionally, that will never know the real her, is in a group that doesn't like her, is in an unsafe environment, surrounded by people who prey on girls like her, no one by her side 😔💔)

tHAT SHIT HURTED THAT SHIT HURTED ;____________;

Alyssa my tragic, messy girl ;A; I can't help but love the tragedy of her, I can't help but be so invested. The way Shinae and Alyssa have been foiled against each other and how I know we will continue to see this. There's something about... yknow like Alyssa doesn't have FEELINGS for Nol, but I think Nol going from Alyssa to Shinae is SO poignant in a painful way. Alyssa's former crush!!!!! I think in much the same way as we're going to see Nol become all the things Kousuke feared, we're going to see that in Alyssa and Shinae. Like... imagine being Alyssa and watching someone like Shinae capture Nol's attention, capture Yui's attention, capture Kousuke's attention. It's because she's so sincere and faces confrontation head on that people take notice of her, but that's something Alyssa has never really been able to learn. She puts on a brave face like Shinae told her, but she can't do the rest of it. She's so terrified of this secret she holds, of what she is and what people will think of her, and she continues to put on a persona to keep it at bay. Meanwhile I think we're going to watch Shinae walk a path Alyssa never could - find her own success by being authentic and true to herself, not having to live in that shell, that mask. Shinae will do everything Alyssa has never been able to do. ;_______;

And yeah, that juxtaposition makes Shinae's insecurity all the more intriguing to explore because she's so insecure about these shallow things, but Alyssa is insecure about the things that DO matter, the things that make Shinae special, and make Alyssa so forgettable.

;_____________________________________;

gonna go sob now HECK

[camels-pen]

(i haven't read Whole Cake in a while, and i never really watched it, so bear with me)

I'd love to write a fic with Usopp on Whole Cake. it'd be sooo fucking long and i'd need to refresh myself on the entire arc, but god i'd probably be so satisfied when it's done. specifically for having brought a single moment in my head to life, but we'll get to that.

On Zou, he insists to be taken along on the Sanji rescue team and has worked himself up with a whole bunch of very good reasons as to why he should go there instead of helping in Wano, but of course Luffy just immediately accepts with a "yeah sure"

With Whole Cake, I think he'd be flipping between having fun as part of the idiot trio/quartet (Luffy, Chopper, Carrot), and being terrified with Nami. There wouldn't be that many differences in the arc as a whole, though; some things would be easier/better and some things would be worse- I don't necessarily think Usopp's presence would be overall an advantage or disadvantage, just different. Like, major events would stay mostly the same, but little details would change and maybe those little details would build to a far more drastic change-

for example, maybe one of Big Mom's kids considers themself a great sniper and wants a match with Usopp, or is motivated to work harder because Usopp is around and they want to take him out and boast about it. Maybe it means Sunny takes more damage than canon, or maybe Usopp's help means less damage to Sunny. (idk if i'd really do smth like this, but it's just an example)

skjdhf fuck i'm really not equipped to try and figure this out when i don't remember shit from Whole Cake aaaa

I do know that, despite his penchant for talking and rambling, I'd probably have Usopp be dead silent after his initial shock when Sanji fights Luffy. Everything about that is the same, except Usopp is just watching Sanji the whole time- not panicking, not moving, and not speaking. He doesn't say a word the entire time, doesn't even make a sound, and that, along with Luffy's words and Nami's begging, stick with Sanji.

(Usopp is thinking of his own fight with Luffy in Water 7, he's partially wondering if this was what it was like- if it was this painful to watch from the sidelines- and partially knowing he doesn't have to say a word, because he knew, like he knew back then, that it didn't matter what was said. It wasn't quite the same, but he could tell in the way Sanji moved, in the way he spoke and held himself, that he was putting on a front, trying to be brave in all the wrong ways. Usopp didn't say a word to Sanji because there was nothing he could say that Sanji himself didn't already know. Should've known. And his quiet, direct stare, was more than enough.)

the singular moment i really wanna write, is a scene where Sanji is apologizing for dragging them into his mess- either during the big meeting in Bege's castle or some other time- and Usopp's like "I'll do what you can't, you do what I can't, right?" and Sanji pauses, a little confused, until he remembers Enies Lobby and a stupid mask and cape and-

and tears are gathering in his eyes now, fuck, but he laughs a little. It sounds wet and his face is itchy and they're surrounded by tentative allies, but he- he laughs again and he says, "Fuck, you remembered that?"

Usopp shrugs, a little smile on his face. "They were some wise words from a wise man."

Sanji laughs a third time. "You think I'm wise?"

And they banter a little more before Bege tells them to quit it since they're on a time constraint or something. Quietly, Usopp will ask, "It-it helps. On bad days. And I figured, 'what's a worse day than this?' Ah, not that you getting married would ever be bad per se-"

"Usopp," Sanji says, looking more relaxed and settled. He smiles fondly and grabs his friend in a one armed hug, crushing him to his side. "Thanks."

And yeah, don't remember much beyond that, except the whole "hiding and then busting out of the cake" bit, which would mean Usopp in a cute little tuxedo or smth- maybe with a fedora aaaaaa <- loves fedoras- helping out with the fighting and eventually sailing with everyone to Wano.

He would be so distressed about fixing up Sunny now that the whole thing with Whole Cake is over. Maybe there'd be a gag about him promising Franky to take good care of Sunny while they were gone and being confident, after being Franky's tinkering partner and learning from him over time, that he could handle minor repair work much better than he did the first time around with Merry. And so when he finally takes in all the very-not-minor repairs he has to do, he's certain Franky is gonna strangle him for not keeping his promise. Probably also try to write in some nostalgic 'repairman Usopp' vibes from pre-Water 7.

Also something something, Sanji, wanting to do more for the crew bc he still feels guilty about Whole Cake, decides to take it upon himself to help Usopp not fall into a whole anxiety spiral about the ship. In turn, Usopp ends up helping Sanji not feel so guilty- usually by handing his own words back to him on a silver platter. And, yknow, having the two of them bonding and being buddies again like they so rarely get to be in canon nowadays qwq

[camellcat]

scrambled thoughts about s4 bc I'm losing my goddamned MIND

just finished s4 of Doctor Who. quick question: how the hell do you go on without Rose Tyler? I can't even imagine I literally. what.

like once s3 rolled around I really fuckin realized I was apparently very much watching this show for ROSE and her dynamic with the Doctor, not the Doctor himself or whatever else lmaoo

ONLY Rose has made me bawl my eyes out, let alone even tear up at all. I just can't even fathom being able to connect with any other plot or character like I did with her and her love for the Doctor.

I just ohh for all of s3 most of s4 I just missed her so much??? like Martha and Donna are great (well, I didn't like Martha at first and you can definitely guess why based on all of this but once s4 rolled around she was great!! loved her) but oh my god they were just no Rose Tyler.

plus WOW I really got so attached to her relationships with other people?? like Donna and Martha's families n whatnot made me feel NOTHING whereas I could not get enough of Jackie and adored Mickey (Mickey is family. he is. I don't care if he's her ex or whatever. he's part of the family). Captain Jack Harkness my one true love (btw just sayin I really think Rose and the Doctor should've gotten a hello kiss. maybe not the Doctor he did not deserve one for leaving Jack but Rose did!! hello!!! you gave them "I'm going to go die" kisses give them "hello we're all still alive missed you" kisses!!!). idk if maybe I was just so clocked out of s3-4 that I missed something but I swear those two just had like no really compelling personal relationships outside of the Doctor, and maybe like one specific family member (lookin at you, gramps).

the fact that Rose ended up liking Martha and Donna though??? dfindsnjdj dying dying DYING I love that she would've been friends with them both. they deserved to all sit and gossip about the Doctor like she did with Sarah Jane right in front of his face.

also oh my god no one why why why please PLEASE I'm not used to consuming sad media I try and avoid it as much as possible and this show is just. just. oh my god.

Rose is so close to what she truly wanted. she'll have a life with the Doctor, but not her Doctor and not the life she fought so hard to get back. instead she's still still still stuck in Pete's World, unable to travel across time and space and save the universe with her Doctor (and don't get me wrong, I love the idea of Tentoo, but it just rubs me the wrong way no matter how I try and look at it. it feels like when a character's memories are erased. they're still technically themselves, but something important is missing all the same. and that thing missing is the TARDIS in this case Tentoo is the best thing she could've gotten lol). I feel like I can't even adequately put it into words why her ending makes me as upset as it does I just hope you Get It. I don't think it would've been good for her to not have ANY other solid relationships like she would've had if she'd gone with the Doctor but also oh my god. oh my god.

and the Doctor is once again without his brilliant, fantastic Rose.

I really hope she doesn't come back though unless it's on her own terms, because she missed her friends or smth. I really hope she's able to travel the world and it be enough for her as long as she's got Tentoo by her side. I really, really hope she's happy and fully in love with Tentoo and they are living the BEST life they can.

Fuck. this SHOW.