#snk chapter 80

[fayrinferno]

Recent animo-mangoid experiences in elderly (a blog post)

In case you forgot I am a huge nerd, I shall remind you with the latest updates to my not insignificant power level. I finished some long-running series and then the curiosity and boredom got the better of me and I watched/read some of which the kids do these days. Here are some haphazard thoughts on all that.

SNK

First of all, I finished what there was to finish of Shingeki no Kyojin and as it was a story I followed for a decade, guess I could say a few parting words. I wanted to say it when the manga ended already but the anime ascertained it: it had a decent ending. A fine ending, especially as far as long-running manga goes. It was pretty realistic; warping your dreams and spitting them out into something lacklustre and problematic like life or something. I'm glad to say some of my favs survived the gruesome ride and got some semblance of happy ending, although things are not perfect. In such a story, I don't think they can or should be. Even standing on the sidelines, I understood the series got quite controversial reputation after the years but I didn't see it that way, personally. Sure, the topics and themes covered were controversial but if you can differentiate between writing about and endorsing something, I guess there's nothing more to talk about.

By the way, back when I was in Japan, I visited a SNK exhibition titled "Shingeki no Kyojin Ten: FINAL". Part of it was a room where you could "hear the sound of the series finale" (reminder this was back in 2019). It was taken quite seriously, we had to enter the room one by one and were forbidden from using phones/cameras there. And we heard some sound... that I guess could be part of one of the final scenes? Anyway, if there was some interest in that, I could put together a post about my visit there, there was some interesting stuff for fans of this series! I have no idea if there is someone who did that already but if someone would like to see that, let me know. I don't think I'll do it on my own accord, anyway.

2. KNY, JJK

Up next, I started some two of the 'shonen big three' of the last few years (as I identified them with my perception of the fandom places I frequent). To see what the fuss is about, obviously. First off, it was Kimetsu no Yaiba, I started watching the anime on Netflix in 2022 and am currently caught up with the anime. This year, I did the same with Jujutsu Kaisen anime. I grouped them cause the experience I had felt somehow similar. First of all, they are both entertaining and enjoyable. You can easily find characters to like. And remind yourself once again of the appeals of battle shonen. It's kinda comfy falling back into old shonen and thinking like, "ah, this is like my baby's first shonen!" While some older people would be like, "*baby's first shonen* is just like this 80s/90s shonen". It never dies and the things that work, work. Anyway, superficial take but the designs of KNY ad JJK work so well (both in their own rights). I can imagine how they fuel fanwork, although I have been too scared until now to check out the tags until I was caught up. I understand KNY is finished and JJK is ending, too. I decided I will stick to the anime for now with KNY and I will catch up with JJK manga that I'm currently reading. And I caught up, five chapters before finale, at a very satisfying point. After that, I'll take a peek into the tags. It's not like I see either work as perfect but I can see how even some of the flaws make it more enjoyable. Survey question for those who've read until here: are you trying to understand the "logic" of the techniques and attacks as they explain it in battle shonen? I feel like I gave up on that, I'm just like, "naruhodo" and I don't even try to wrap my head around it :'D That 6-8 year old who yelled "domain expansion!" in a as he ran by at the swimming pool may actually understand better. I was already shocked that he is watching (or rather, streaming) this in foreign language at his age, then thought about what kind of rating JJK would have... and then I remembered us watching DBZ at an age or not much older than him, tried to remember how violent it was and pondered things like whether the topics in JJK are somewhat heavier anyway although people got holes in their torsos and cleaved in half in DBZ too and how he might as well yelled 'bankai!' or something instead... and yeah, I'm thinking I'm old. But KNY and JJK are still enjoyable haha.

3. HAIKYUU!!

When I was deciding what to watch after this, I was reminded of that volleyball anime called VOLLEYBALL!! that I had started watching in Japan. I think I only got as far as one or two series but I started from there and man, I hadn't expected I would enjoy it so much! This is, hands down, the easiest thing to watch for me from all that is mentioned in this post. If there were 900 episodes out, I would just keep watching it every day after work. Part of it surely is that I played volleyball in middle school/junior high. It felt so nostalgic to reminisce about. We had felt so serious about it too, representing our school, although, since I never continued with in high school, I never got to the more technical volleyball stuff. It still made me miss playing, the atmosphere is depicted SO well. Maybe it's also nostalgic cause my first anime was also a sports anime. And yes, ngl, gimme the cute boys playing sports, getting all emotional about it... it's so pure haha! I'm sure the fandom is not just that but I think I will enjoy the fanworks just as much once I'm caught up. BTW, the new movie surprisingly made it into mainstream cinemas here so yeah, I should watch it soon. It was another thing that made me go 'hmmm' like, I get Ghibli but are the kids actually coming to cinema to see this? Was this a calculated choice on the distributor's side to play this at the major cinemas all over the country; an anime movie that takes place in the middle of a long story and works only so much as a standalone (I assume) if you haven't followed these characters? Whatever the case, I guess anime is becoming more mainstream than ever before. And yup, Haikyuu is turning out to be something close to my kokoro, I would compare it to Yuri on Ice I suppose... (yeah my kokoro has another tiny crack in it now that the movie was cancelled).

4. DUNMESHI

Yep, we come to this one. I heard so many good things about Dungeon Meshi and when I read the synopsis, I was even more intrigued. I tried the manga, then few episodes of the anime, then manga again and I stuck to it and finished it a few weeks back. And yes, BRAVA, Kui-sensei. I had a hunch that this one would work better as a manga and I think it does. It was absolutely refreshing to me! So much brilliant thought that is considered taboo for some reason? And Kui's writing makes you think, "but why (is this taboo if people are like that?)" The art is very good, too. So neat, well-thought out and technically great. The ending felt satisfying to me, too. I have no complaints about this little series. You don't even need to ship anyone; it is funny, intelligent, and enjoyable without all that.

5. THE REMAKES

One last category I wanted to shortly mention are the recently announced remakes. It feels crazy to see Ranma 1/2 getting remade! I caught that, then I caught news of a new Rose of Versailles project?! And then came news of the Rayearth remake??? The first two I guess are something that could have been expected with the popularity of Takahashi and Lady Oscar BUT it was with Rayearth that I realized that anything can happen now. It doesn't mean it has to be good, but it CAN happen (first such shock I remember was the Netflix adaptation of 7SEEDS which was miserable but I am still shook that it even happened). BTW, I never even watched/read Rayearth. I brought the manga from Japan to read it in original because I was always intrigued by it and Clamp (and let's be honest, it was also because it was just a handful of tankobons). I still haven't got around to it but I want to do it before watching it, whether the original or the remake.

[ourmondobongo]

I have many beefs with snk final chapter. Besides the well known points, I had thought many times how weird it was that after a 80% global destruction, we had actually got that "London" scene.

I read it, by necessary narrative logic, as if that city should be one of the last remaining places untouched by the rumbling. And it made glad that - when the guys went back to Paradis, Levi stayed behind, and were in the company of such amazing people = Onyankopon. With bonus Falbi. It made sense, and was a relief.

However, the fact that actually their struggles to rebuild was greater and more realistic now in the anime - that is what we got during that new Levi moment - was nice. I mean, the post-apocalyptic atmosphere and these circunstancies always made much more sense. Eren left the world in shambles. He literally brought hell upon Earth. If you want to make things realistic, this really was a fair little twist.

The focus on this still healing world concept, on this in the restoration process vision - I liked it.

Some actual sense after that erehmin manga end.

And, OF COURSE, the snk human with one of the biggest hearts in the whole world would get involved in that.

Which is no surprise. We all knew (and talked in our 139 aus) that he would, somehow, want to help others. He would be involved. It's just who he is.

[linashirou]

WHAT IS HAL AND LINAS FAVORITE FIGHTING GAME AND WHICH ARE THEIR FAVORITE CHARACTERS-

They were both born in the 80's, so they stick to the classics like Street Fighter and KoF (and almost every Capcom and SNK game). In the second chapter of the fic, they have a fight in KoF and use their favorite characters.

[momtaku]

Hi Mom, you know how Bertholdt said "maybe he wanted someone to judge him" in ch99 about the man who committed suicide? I think I don't understand this emotion, why did he want someone to judge him? Is it possible that you could explain? I was also wondering if this was the same emotion Erwin felt during the crate scene. Do you think he wanted to be judged by Levi?

This is such an interesting question so I’ve been sitting on it a few days because it really made me think. What I’ve decided is that the inclusion of the hanged man story just before Reiner’s conversation with Eren in Liberio was glimpse into how all three warrior characters would eventually process the results of their actions. 

Annie was the character who most wanted forgiveness so she presumes the man told the story for that reason. We see Annie express this later in chapter 127 when Jean mentions never forgiving Reiner for Marco’s death and Annie quietly replies “What about me?”. 

Reiner was the one who dismissed the conversation initially as a waste of time, but later would be the one who most craved judgment. In that basement in Liberio, Reiner completely rejected any of Eren’s efforts to excuse his actions. He was at his lowest emotionally so a harsh judgement and death were the only outcomes be could see. I suspect that even as an ambassador for peace he never allowed anyone to express forgiveness towards him.

Bert would be the character who rejected both. He initially sought forgiveness during the clash arc when he tried to appeal to Connie and Jean about the helplessness of his situation, but in chapter 78, he acknowledged the futility of  both forgiveness and judgement. In Bert’s view, the world demanded what the word demanded and he was powerless to fight that.

I can see how it might be interesting to look at Erwin’s confession and wonder if the desire for judgement or forgiveness was there, but I don’t see either being his motivation. 

Erwin had already taken the effort to judge himself in chapter 76 when he reflected on his conversation with Zackley in the carriage. Being at his lowest point, that self reflection ended with Erwin accepting Zackley assertion that Erwin was primarily a selfish person motivated entirely by selfish desires. Erwin judgement of himself was negative. Case closed.

The crate scene was a confession of that, but remember that just prior, Levi had been looking for a loophole that would allow Erwin to survive. Erwin was explaining to Levi why he had to die, but confessing that he was unhappy with that decision for selfish reasons. Erwin already knew what he was going to do - he was going to be the noble commander - but the pain of dying without knowing the answers was acute. 

In the end, Levi offered Erwin both forgiveness and judgment and I cherish Erwin’s small smile upon hearing his words. It was a classic  “I didn’t know I needed this but...” situation, which results in Erwin’s sincere thank you to Levi.

So to answer your question “Did Erwin want to be judged by Levi?” I think the answer is yes, but it wasn’t conscious aim of the conversation. Erwin had already judged himself and found himself lacking. On the crate, Levi let Erwin know he rejected that judgment, that he saw value in Erwin.

Thanks for the ask, anon! It was nice to stretch my meta muscles a bit. I’d love to read other opinions on this so please feel free to comment or reblog if you want to offer a different perspective.

[levihantrash]

Just People | levihan (post-Return to Shiganshina)

on AO3 here: link (~800 words)

-----

Moblit saved Hange’s life by dying. Levi saved Erwin’s life by letting him die.

When their friends die, Hange and Levi have only each other to grieve with.

-----

The forest should be a place of danger. If instincts take over, the threat of titans will become second nature. Unless—you are on the canopy. Hange finds themselves having escaped there, unthinkingly, with one trembling hand on a gas tank.

It was a reckless decision, but at the very least, not a life-threatening pitfall.

The soft landing of two other feet on the wide branches follows swiftly behind Hange.

They do their best to pretend. If they ram their eyelids shut, cover their ears, maybe the world will disappear. For once, Hange wants to taste the intoxicating sin of letting go. Of shirking responsibility.

“I’m tired.” All the air in the forest for this one, inconsequential line. A selfish line because everyone is bone-dead exhausted. Some, if not most, are actually dead. The weight, so unbearable, is pressure that can easily break the thick branch they are sitting on, feet dangling metres above the ground. Hange will gladly, cowardly, accept the descent with relief. It’s fate. To be given an extended lease of life in this world, is a curse. To be granted the burden of life in replacement of another, of someone important, is tasting ash in your mouth. The ash of your comrades piling up in the back of your throat, waiting for answers.

The worst part of it all, Hange thinks, is the biting sensation that fills them with shame. It’s the part where Hange is glad to be alive, in some twisted form.

Levi confirms this feeling, laying a tentative hand on their shoulder. In a way, he had the uglier side of the ordeal. He had a choice to make. A sick game, dabbling with mortality. A sick game that led to an unprecedented decision—arguably a more humane one. It wasn’t a binary between rationality and emotion. It was rational; to let go of someone who was ready to leave. It was rational, to take into account the emotions of Erwin, the dreams and hopes of a friend. Still, it was emotional to make the rational choice.

Even if it was an inevitably painful choice, Levi is not one to take life lightly. Rather, he is the one who grits his teeth and orders people not to die.

“Don’t you fucking die too.” The cover of harshness bleeds into pleading. He has no more strength for bravado, and frankly, neither does Hange.

The suddenness of death is never something that either of them can get used to.

Gas is a force that hurls the Scouts forward, at first, towards titan napes and away from jaws; now towards human flesh and away from bullets. Maybe it’s apt that gas is what everyone who ever lived breathes, till their last breath. To Hange, it’s an ominous conjecture that comforts them to an extent. That’s why the gas is precious. It holds heart. It holds fear. It isn’t unwavering, and it doesn’t last forever. But surely, it is enough to move forward a few more stops, before rest.

Hange firmly believes this will be their last break. This fleeting, forest escapade. The hand on their shoulder is a warm reminder that she isn’t utterly alone, and the squeeze that comes moments later is more than what they can ask for from someone in the depths of grief.

For that one night, in the shaky presence of each other, they allow each other to rest. Time trails on slowly, granting them this one luxury.

“Do you think we’ll get to sit under the trees again?”

Levi doesn’t want to break the brevity of tranquillity, so he remains silent. He doesn’t know what to do with the ache buried in his chest, stuck in a dingy corner that he cannot wipe away. Instead, he rephrases his previous imperative, deciding that the privacy of the forest gives him the courage to be just a little selfish.

“I don’t want you to die.”

“There are a lot of people we want alive,” Hange says immediately, like they wish to deliberately maintain the impression of miscomprehension.

Levi tries again. “There are a lot of people I don’t want dead. He tugs at Hange's shoulder. They don't resist, eventually facing him. "Most of all, you.”

This time, Hange cups his face with a gaze concentrated with so much longing that the aching in his chest flutters, gaining momentary lightness. Their lips press on the area between his eyes—half-closed, glazed. They leave traces of unsaid affection all over. His calm face is laced with a sort of desperation that only lulls in the bristling of leaves surrounding them. Desperation that comes with the knowledge that in the next waking consciousness, there will be no space for these small snatches of bliss.

“Let’s live a little longer. For us.”

“For us,” he agrees, capturing his tiny world in another teary, yearning kiss.

Is it joy? Is it peace? Is it sitting in partial darkness, sharing the dreary pain of loss?

Perhaps, it is simplicity. Tonight, they are not soldiers, heroes, or killers. Not even people stubbornly trying to conceive of a world less terrible than it is now.

Tonight, they are people sitting in the forest; people who need reprieve. Just Hange. Just Levi. And for tonight, being just people, is enough.

[liesweliveby]

So they’re animating chapter 80 next week

[survey-corps-eggplant]

Au Smartpass Shingeki no Kyojin Mission Panel Wallpaper September 2017

“For that to happen, these new recruits and I must sacrifice our lives.”   - Erwin Smith chapter 80, page 23 

[everylevishot]

Shingeki! Kyojin Chuugakkou - Levi #650

Chapter 80 - さらば！進​撃中​学​校 (Final Period: Farewell, Attack Junior High!)

[aendeiousa]

little post rumbling tidbits for my verse;

as we all know i’ve stated before, despite the ship i’ve got with jaz’s eren, in my portrayal, mikasa’s feeling’s towards eren are platonic. that is always my default and i will never write her otherwise. he is viewed as a brother / best friend. someone who she’s deeply bonded with. the weird headless kiss never happened.

mikasa understood what eren did is fucked up, she’ll never try to justify. especially post rumbling. 

she moved away from the capital, finally getting the quiet life she wanted. i do believe she kept in touch with everyone but very rarely reaching out. maybe only replied to the letters that reached her. i’d like to think she separated herself from the scouting legion because that final war was enough for a lifetime. 

she grieved for eren and what she lost, he was her with her for so many years after all. he taught her that living is a gift, it’s important and that memories are enough. but she isn’t painfully stricken with grief that she’s unable to function. being held back is never something that ever stopped her and she wouldn’t change that now.

[our-first-gloria]

I hope they include this scene

I love their soft expressions here

I love their friendship

[ladymacbethsspot]

The look of horror on Levi's face when he says that he's making the choice scarred my soul in a way that will haunt me forever

Levi’s life was full of choices.

But never his own.

The choices of his mother. To keep him, to provide all she could, to love a child she could have hated just as easily. Her only rewards mockery, poverty, and then death.

The choices of his uncle Kenny. To keep him from starving, to teach him, to leave. And Kenny hadn’t fared any better than his mother in the end. “A slave,” he’d said, even after a lifetime of choices.

Until Levi met him- he’d never felt the choices were his to make. They were made by other people. More important people, richer people, people with clean clothing who didn’t have to steal and kill for a living. All he could do was accept them, or hate them, or fight them- but never make them.

Until he met Erwin.

And Levi learned the truth about choices: they were never easy.

As the world exploded around him, Levi knelt.

The crash of rock and brick raining down, the screams of people and horses, the confusion and terror all faded to nothing but the background sounds of pain. Even the ghosts of all their felled comrades stood quiet. That pain was chronic. He had lived with it long enough.

Erwin’s words were acute.

Levi had thought he’d already made the most important choice of his life.

But life was so cruel.

“I’m making the choice. Give up on your dreams and die for us. Lead the recruits straight into hell.”

If there was one single thing he could do to ease the burden it was this: to make the choice.

And Levi would choose anything for Erwin.

[aickerman-s]

The Setting Sun on the Horizon

Rating: K

Word Count: ~800

Summary: Armin knows their time is limited. In a few years, they’ll be gone, and Mikasa will be alone. Unless he can persuade Levi otherwise.

Author’s Note: I found a SNK prompt post from @awesomeness-is-the-key and I thought that while this one was really intriguing:  ‘Eren making Jean promise to stay with Mikasa after his and Armin’s 15 years are up. Because, she deserves to have someone entirely devoted to her for once, that won’t leave her, even if they do look like a horse.’ I really saw this conversation happening between Armin and Levi...

- - - - - 

‘Captain?’

Levi lifted his gaze from the ground far below him. Armin stood a few feet away, his eyes on the edge of the wall.

‘What is it, Arlert?’ Levi turned to look back out at the rolling fields below them.

Armin hesitated, then approached a little closer. ‘Captain. I never thanked you for�� saving me-‘

‘You don’t have to. It was my choice.’ Levi narrowed his eyes at him. ‘That’s all there is to say about it.’

Armin frowned at his feet. ‘Then I just want you to know… I’ll do everything in my power to make that decision worthwhile. But, that’s not what I’m here to talk about.’

Levi’s eyebrow rose. There was a determined look in Arlert’s eye.

Armin stepped closer, joining Levi at the edge of the wall. ‘I’ll do what I can, in the time that I have left. But we both know that time is limited,’ he watched as the sun began to kiss the horizon, ‘Given we’re not killed before then, Eren and I only have a few years left to live… Me more than him. So I’ve been thinking, who’s going to watch over Mikasa after we’re gone?’

Levi breathed out sharply through his nose, ‘If there’s anyone who can look after themself, it’s Mikasa.’

‘That’s not the point.’

Levi was surprised by the fierce look in Armin’s eye.

‘Mikasa is stronger and more capable than the rest of us, and she’s always looked out for us. That’s how it works, isn’t it? The strongest takes care of the others. It’s not fair that after all she’s done for us, she’s going to lose us both so soon.’ His eyes grew watery in the fading sunlight, through anger or grief, he wasn’t sure. ‘All this new responsibility is tough to bear, but it kills me to know that one day, not even that far from now, Eren and I will leave her on her own.’

Levi took a moment to study him before carefully replying, ‘Why are you telling me?’

Armin wiped at his eyes, ‘Because she deserves better.’ He turned to face him, ‘you’re possibly the only person here who has any hope of understanding her – even better than we do. You have a connection, there’s no denying that. And if there’s anyone who is stronger than her, I think it might be you.

‘You might even be able to help her connect to her past, find her family, understand who she really is. That’s the sort of thing I want for her, after I’m gone. I want her to find a new family. One without a time limit.’

‘Armin, I…’ Levi couldn’t quite form the words. He just looked away, ‘I don’t understand any of that myself. I don’t see how I would be able to help her.’

‘Then help each other.’

‘And what makes you assume that I want that, hm? Don’t you think I have better things to do with my time?’

‘I don’t care about what you want!’

Levi faltered, his mouth opening slightly in shock.

‘I care about Mikasa. I care about making sure she has someone looking out for her when we can’t, and forgive me if I’m wrong, Captain,’ Armin paused, almost waiting to be interrupted. Levi let him continue, ‘but I think you’ve been doing that already.’

Levi sighed, ‘Mikasa is strong, but she’s reckless. I just make sure she doesn’t get herself killed.’

‘Exactly what I mean.’

‘Holding back a soldier is not the same as being someone’s caretaker. Why not ask your friends, her friends?’

‘To be honest, I can’t be sure that they’ll survive that long.’

Levi blew through his nose. It’s a cold way to put it, but…

Armin continued, ‘You’re the only one I feel confident will still be around after we’re gone. You’re the only one tougher than her. So you’re the only one who can look after her.’

Levi turned to face the setting sun, feeling Armin’s gaze upon him. ‘Let’s get one thing clear, Arlert. I’d never willingly let any soldier die. I’ll do whatever I can to save as many lives as I can. But that doesn’t mean it always works. Good people still die. Strong people still die. I can’t make a promise to protect someone, because I simply can’t guarantee it.’

‘I know. But you can promise to try.’

There was firmness in Armin’s voice that Levi had never heard before, a flicker in his eye that he had never seen. When Levi looked at him he no longer saw the frail little teenager. He saw a passionate man, fighting for something he wanted, something he needed. He had grown. Levi could relate to that.

‘I’ll try.’

‘Thank you, Captain.’

[momtaku]

Hey mom! ^^ About Erwin and Zackly's convo in the carriage, had the burden of Erwin's comrades' deaths been haunting him down before that convo or it started after Zackly called him out on being selfish about achieving his goals? Personally I think even tho Erwin was doing everything he could to fulfill his dream he always felt bad about sending his comrades to their deaths. Remember the time he was

(Same anon) hospitalized because of his arm? He told Pixis that losing one arm is nothing in compared to the number of soliders he sent to their deaths.

Erwin never viewed the deaths of his comrades lightly. Because he valued life, he developed the long distance scouting formation as a way to reduce casualties.  Likewise, he was brutally honest with those joining the SC telling them that they likely wouldn’t survive. Feeling the weight of the deaths of his comrades wasn’t something new for Erwin. As you mentioned, chapter 51 is evidence of that.

The shift in the carriage ride with Zackley was that Erwin was forced to consider the reason for those deaths. Before that moment, Erwin had viewed all those sacrifices as something purely for humanity’s benefit. Zackley made Erwin realize that he had a personal, selfish motivation as well. Thus Erwin was forced to ask himself whether people were dying for his personal goal or truly for the benefit of humanity.

It marked the beginning of Erwin’s unravelling. Erwin could survive being hated and reviled, he could survive his limbs being torn from his body, but he couldn’t survive the thought that those deaths were the result of his selfishness. 

That was his internal war on the crate in Shiganshina. Was he the noble commander moving the cause of humanity forward, or was he a selfish child using people to prove a point.  In the end Levi helped Erwin resolve the matter. He helped Erwin prove to himself the sort of person he truly was.

Thanks for the ask!

[misoka-x]

OK SO ATTACK ON TITAN SPOILERS ARE FINALLY HERE AND I SAW SOMEONE SAY THAT ANNIE'S BACK OMG PLSOLS9LSOKSHDIDJDIDJDEINDIDJDJDEJEIEJEIRBRJR BRING MY WIFE BACK NOW

[cream-no-sugar]

make me forget (a jeankasa smut scene)

fandom: aot/snk

characters: mikasa ackerman x jean kirstein (background: mikasa ackerman x eren jaeger)

synopsis: still reeling from her impromptu encounter with eren jaeger (the leader of a rival gang in the rural town of Paradise), mikasa seduces her classmate (and regular fwb) jean kirstein at a friday night party. she has her way with him in the upstairs bathroom — in an attempt to get off and get her mind off the other young man she's supposed to have nothing to do with.

tags & warnings: modern AU, rival gang AU, bathroom sex, underage drinking, unrequited love, mikasa is goth and 18, jean is a "nice boy" and 18, jeankasa are fwb, eren is 25, eremika technically "hate" each other because they have to (but mikasa is hung up on eren, she just doesn't know it)

a/n: enjoy this sneak preview of the upcoming chapter of my rival gang au, "sins of our fathers." the chapter itself is about 80% written. and, candidly, I just wanted to share this scene prior to officially updating the fic — mainly because I'm wary of the reception since this scene is embedded in an eremika-heavy fic, and (honestly) jeankasa deserves their chance to shine.

word count: 1.6k

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Friday nights for Paradise High School seniors are always punctuated with a house party, especially when the school year is winding down. Tonight, Mikasa finds herself at Connie’s house — which is ideal. It's far enough on the other side of town that she has a built-in excuse to stay out later, or even to stay the night (not that Levi or Kenny look for her when she's been gone too long).

And Connie's house is huge. With a pool and a huge yard, so it's easy either to find company or to hide from company — whatever Mikasa is in the mood for, at a moment's notice.

Admittedly, she's looking for chaos and over-stimulation tonight — she doesn't know any other way to get her to feel like herself again. She loathes to admit it, but her run-in with Jaeger at the convenience store threw her for a loop.

The first time she saw him, at Maria's, she was mentally prepared for that. She couldn't admit it to herself — let alone Levi when he confronted her about skipping school the other day — that she went to Maria's with an intention. She wasn't stupid: she had been immersed in this world all her life, and she had picked up intel on where he could be lurking at any point of the day by listening through keyholes and feigning ignorance around her uncle and her aunt and her cousin and all her associates…

That was the benefit of being seen as a stupid, little girl: no one would suspect that she'd attempt to find the boy whose family single-handedly ruined her life.

But when they ran into each other at the convenience store…

She didn't expect Jaeger — Eren — to be so… relatable.

Before she can allow that thought to get away from her, Mikasa heads to the kitchen, joins a group of people gathered around the island. She accidentally jostles Sasha, who — upon seeing who bumped into her — excitedly and unpromptingly grabs Mikasa's hand and swipes a lime wedge on her nonbandaged wrist. Sasha sprinkles a little salt on the juice, tiny white granules decorating Mikasa's pale skin and the ebony granite countertop.

Mikasa feels something nudge her pinky, and she sees that Jean has scooted a shot glass toward her. Some tequila spills over the rim and onto Mikasa's hand — she doesn't miss how Jean's pupils dilate when she brings her finger to her mouth, sucks the droplets off her skin.

That's an idea, Mikasa thinks to herself as the group raises their shot glasses in glee, loudly whooping and toasting to the weekend and to the rest of their lives. The liquid burns her throat and her chest in a way that she feels like she needs, like she deserves.

She sidles closer to Jean when everyone thrusts their empty glasses toward the center for a refill. She makes a point to bump her hip against his, to lean into him when she reaches for her second shot of tequila — to meaningfully look him in the eye when she clinks her glass to his.

She feels his hand ghost over her hips. But he won't touch her — not yet. Because Mikasa knows that Jean Kirstein is a gentleman, or as close to a gentleman as one could find in Paradise. And he won't touch her unless she asks him to — or until he's drunk enough where all his inhibitions have disappeared.

Sometimes she feels bad because Jean is so obviously in love with her that she thinks she might be taking advantage of him. But, admittedly, he’s really fucking hot and gives great head. So she doesn’t even protest when he (finally) starts getting handsy after their third, maybe fourth or fifth, round of shots — she’s actually the one who pulls him away from the group and into the upstairs bathroom, pulls her face to his and licks into his mouth while shimmying out of her underwear.

“Someone’s needy tonight,” he slurs against her lips. Mikasa winces when his fingers trace her bare pussy, sighs when he starts to circle her clit.

“Shut the fuck up,” she growls. “You gonna get me off tonight or not, Kirstein?”

And Jean just snickers against her mouth, nips her lower lip as he presses on her throbbing nub just a little bit harder. “If that’s what you want, princess,” he mumbles.

And Mikasa doesn’t even dignify Jean’s sarcastic retort with a response of her own. Instead, she threads her fingers through his overgrown hair and pulls his mouth deeper into hers. Spreads her legs wider on the bathroom counter so that her slickness starts to leak on the marble surface below her, so that Jean can more easily slide two, three fingers into her.

They’ve hooked up enough times before this point that Mikasa anticipates Jean’s rhythms. He works her up with his tongue in her mouth and his fingers in her pussy until she’s a sloppy mess, her arousal dripping down her thighs and onto Jean's hand. When he removes his fingers, she whines at the emptiness — then groans when she sees how her juices web between his fingers, watches Jean lick his fingers clean, his tongue lapping up the wetness that has coated every inch of his digits.

He always tells her that he wants to get her wet enough so it’s easier for him to enter her. And Mikasa understands his reasoning — he is a bit larger than some of the other guys she’s been with. But she also thinks — especially when she sees how hungry he looks as he sucks on his fingers, when he finally kneels before her — that he just wants her wet enough so he can consume more of her. He's told her before that no other girl tastes as good as she does.

It’s intoxicating, when she thinks about how much power she has over him. As he kneels between her legs and tongues her opening, sucks on her clit so ravenously that she has to find purchase by grabbing the counter edge, pulling on his hair, curling her toes in her heavy-toed boots.

"Fuck, Jean—" Mikasa gasps, and her breath hitches as he circles her clit with the tip of his tongue and slowly pushes two of his fingers inside her. It feels good. It always feels good because Jean has a long tongue and strong fingers and a selflessness that guarantees that Mikasa will come at least twice when they’re together.

And, sure enough, he tongues her so effortlessly that, after a few focused minutes, she breaks above him. She braces herself, arches her back, needs to remind herself not to squeeze her thighs so tightly around Jean's face even though she can't help it. And she yells so loudly that she's certain that everyone downstairs can hear her — not that she nor Jean care; it's an open secret that they fuck each other almost every weekend.

And she knows that he can get her off with his tongue again, that he's done it many times before — but she's glad that he somehow knows that isn't good enough for her tonight.

Jean pops off her, his chin glistening under the yellowish bathroom lighting. "I need to be inside you now, Mikasa," he murmurs. And she frantically nods, lifts up his shirt as he unbuttons his pants and frees his hardened cock from his boxers. He absentmindedly pumps his erection a few times before he positions himself at her entrance, his head bumping her sensitive clit and making her gasp.

When he finally slides into her, so easily because she's soaked and because they've done this dance before, Mikasa sighs, relieved and full. She wants to sink into the sensation of Jean fucking her senseless — needs to feel like her whole body is being consumed, like she's losing all of her in someone else — so she appreciates when Jean cups the back of her head and thrusts into her roughly. All traces of a gentleman gone.

"Fuck, Mikasa, you feel so good, you take me so well," he mutters nonsensically into her hair.

And Mikasa wordlessly whines her assent, wraps her legs around him tightly as he bucks into her. The cold bathroom counter cuts into the back of her thighs, and she nearly falls backward into the mirror — saved only by Jean's strong hands holding her neck and back up.

He moves his hand from her back to the space between them. And Mikasa purrs in appreciation, as he deftly works his thumb on her and continues to thrust into her.

"'M close," she mumbles, as she digs her nails into his clothed shoulders and buries her nose in his long hair. He smells like smoke from the fire pit and cheap cologne. The scent is familiar, yet stifling — but it's not enough to distract her from reaching her peak, as she comes again, screams loudly and directly into Jean's ear.

In her post-coital fog, she knows he finishes too, pulls out of her and releases on her bare thighs. Some of his cum spurts on her skirt that they forgot to remove in their haste, and Jean apologizes, reaches for some paper towels to help clean her up as they both catch their breath.

She hears him muttering, sorries and sweet nothings as he wipes between her legs and nuzzles her ear. But she can't fully register what he's saying. There's a buzzing in her ear, and her vision is hazy.

She blames the tequila, blames the lime — but, despite the fact that the room is bathed in yellow, all she sees is green.

[guyinlovewitheremika]

Random update and this might have been the case for a while already but mangasee has finally updated their snk pages and we now have the official Kodansha volume translations for vol 20, 21 and 22 (this includes ch 80 which has previously only ever been uploaded as an unofficial scanlation!)