#snow on the beach ft more lana del rey | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

divinemare · 1 year

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Hello!! I loved your fic Back to December (love the Taylor Swift reference) and it had me in tears. Is there any way you could write a Liam x reader where they meet on the day on the parapet and then become friends and it slowly turns into a friends to lovers situation? I love your writing and I can’t wait for more Fourth Wing fan fics <3

thank you so muuuuch! you’re so sweet, and thank u for your request!

sorry if this took so long, but I did my best so I hope you like it!

Snow On The Beach

FOURTH WING ONE SHOTS: Liam Mairi x reader

summary: well…need I to explain it? Snow On The Beach - Taylor Swift ft. More Lana Del Rey, duh

tw: none

“It’s gonna be ok, it’s gonna be ok, it’s gonna be ok…”

You repeated over and over again trying to calm the nerves in the erratic beats of your heart.

But was it? You were about to cross the parapet, the most fucking deranged way of welcoming students into their first year. Yet you had actively, willingly chose to be here, to do this.

“Why am I so impulsive,” you murmured under your breath, whining internally about the series of bad choices that had led you to this very moment in your life.

It had all begun with your awful, hating sisters making a passive-aggressive comment about how you couldn’t actually ever survive becoming a dragon rider, how you wouldn’t even survive crossing the parapet to begin with. They were two of the best healers with the best ranks, coming from a long family of the best healers; in the best ranks. All your family had ever done was try to brainwash you into becoming a healer, but you had never actually found the profession interesting at all, you had been obsessed with dragons since the day you learned to talk.

But you had just read about dragons, you had never actually seen one up close, only when they occasionally overflew your city, but that was it, that had been the closest you had ever gotten to a dragon in all your 20 years of life, how were you supposed to survive bonding one? Yeah, you had made a biiig mistake.

First it had been your sisters comments, then everything went downhill when your ego got bruised and offended, and that same day you sent your application to Basgiath for the Riders Quadrant.

An now you were here after your stupid, impulsive decision to shut your sisters mouths up, in the line of stupid people that were about to cross the stupid parapet.

“Hey,” someone touched your arm, but you were so focused in your prayer to the Gods you did not noticed the guy standing in front of you talking, so you jumped in surprise by his touch.

Good Gods, those were some deep blue eyes.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t meant to startle you,” his smile was just as beautiful as his eyes, and just as beautiful as his blond hair as well.

“No worries, I’m just in a perpetuate state of paranoia right now,” he laughed slightly, and you couldn’t help but smile at the deep rich sound.

“You dropped this,” he extended you something, and you looked down at his palm.

You couldn’t help but grimace at the awful necklace that stared right back at you. It had been a “gift”, supposedly.

“You can keep it, my big sister gave it to me, and I’m not entirely sure that she didn’t curse it to give me bad luck,” the guy lifted an amused eyebrow, and you sighed in defeat. “Forget it, I guess I will know if it’s cursed when I fall into my death hearing Malek’s and my diabolic sister’s laugh in my head,” but just as you were about to take the necklace from him, he snatched it back, and you stared up at him with a furrowed brow.

“Now, we don’t want that to happen, do we? I’ll keep it and clean the bad vibes off it for you until you cross the parapet safe and sound,” he put in his pocket, and you couldn’t help but look at him with confusion and amusement at the same time.

“And how do you pretend to do that, exactly?”

“With my charming good vibes, of course,” you stared at him with an eyebrow raised for a second in total silence, but then inevitably laughed out laud.

You saw the guy’s smile lighting up as you tried to cover up your laugh with your hand.

“Liam, by the way,” he extended his hand towards you again, this time with the purpose of introducing himself.

“That’s such a sweet name,” Liam arched an eyebrow with a pleased smile on his thin lips.

“Well thank you, and may I know your sweet name?” You extended your hand to him to go for a shake, and he immediately accepted it with his.

“Y/N.”

“Y/N,” he breathed when you both released each others hands, like tasting your name in his mouth.

“Next,” you both heard someone say behind Liam, and your gazes, that had been held on each other, finally turned towards the guy behind.

Liam’s face fell instantly pale, and you saw how he sucked in a breath for a split second.

You peaked over his shoulder to see the guy standing in front of Liam, and you saw, hands down, the most intimidating man you had ever seen in your life.

In the most arousing way, for some strange reason.

The guy’s face flinched just a split second as well, and you didn’t got to read the looks in their eyes before Liam gave his full name to the man and rushed away, looking back at you and winking an eye before stepping into the parapet.

The weather outside had to be fucked up today, seems like your sister had done a really good job cursing that necklace.

“Name?” The intimidatingly hot guy asked, and you took your eyes away from the blond hair of Liam to set it on the guy’s onyx eyes.

Your eyes couldn’t help but drift to the tattoo peaking out of his shirt.

“Last chance to take a step back,” the dark-haired guy, the Marked One, said.

Through your mind crossed every passive aggressive word your sisters had said, the look of disappointment in your parents eyes when you told them you would not become a Healer. And then, before you could stop your mouth or think outside your pride:

“Y/N Y/L,” you replied, sucking in a breath.

The guy nodded slightly, and the other guy beside him wrote your name on the list he was trying to protect from the rain.

“Good luck,” you saw sincerity in his harsh onyx eyes, and with one last nervous, but thankful smile, you turned around from him.

You took a deep breath, braced yourself, and stepped onto the parapet.

…

You were so close, so so close, you could already see the end of the parapet, feel it, yet the wind was making those last steps harder than the whole way.

Liam’s blonde, wet hair was the first thing you noticed, then his encouraging smile, and then his hopeful eyes.

He stood near the entrance, as if…as if waiting for you.

When you arched your brows slightly, and he deepened his smile, you confirmed it; he was waiting for you.

“You did it, seems no curse is strong enough to stop you,” when you finally stepped into safety, his words were the first thing that greeted you.

With the inicial panic, and overall fear of the parapet finally over, after you gave your name to the girl with the beautiful red hair, you were able to take him in completely. And Holy Gods, your mouth went instantly dry at how gorgeous that man was.

His intense blue eyes, his white sideways smile, his ruffled and wet blond hair, his wide, big shoulders and muscular arms, his height…Gods he was tall. And…and that rebellion relic. You hadn’t seen it before, hadn’t noticed it at the beginning of his wrist and disappearing under his sleeve.

He noticed your eyes lingering on it, and his cocky demeanor immediately changed into an uncomfortable one. You hadn’t meant to make him uncomfortable, it’s just that you had never interacted this much with Marked One, your parents had always told you Marked Ones were awful people, rude and brutal and violent and dangerous. But this guy had been the opposite to all those words they had used to describe him. It didn’t surprise you tho, that your parents had only been full of venom and no truth at all.

Then you started laughing, out of the blue. You just laughed out laud, making everyone around you turn to look at you as if you had grown another head. You may as well have, for how insane you were looking right now.

“I’m sorry,” you tried to say over your laugher. “I’m sorry, I just…I…” But you couldn’t stop laughing.

Liam raised an eyebrow in utter bafflement, but his lips slightly twitched upwards in amusement when you couldn’t help but put a hand on his chest to support your shaking body.

He laughed slightly with you then, your laughter being contagious, and both of you laughed with everyone around you starting to worry you had already lost your marbles.

“I’m sorry, it’s just…oh, my mother is going to have a heart attack,” you laughed, tears already streaming down your face. “And my sisters, good Gods, my sisters are gonna choke in their gasps!”

“Are you ok?” Liam asked with amusement, raising a blond eyebrow.

“I did it!” You beamed.

“You did,” he nodded.

“I did!”

You had survived the parapet, you had actually survived. And it felt so damned good.

“Here, I cleaned the bad vibes for you,” Liam took out your sister’s necklace and gave it to you.

You thanked him, and sighed while looking at the horrible thing.

“At least we’ll know how to recognize your body with this,” those had been your sister’s words, accompanied with faked sorrow and a quick hug.

You looked at Liam with a smile, and then turned around, walking again towards the edge of the end of the parapet and tossed the damned thing out.

“It can rot in hell, for all I care,” you said going back to Liam’s side, and sighing with deep relief.

Liam laughed, and you both made your way to where cadets were being gathered now.

Your new life started right here and right now, and you couldn’t have been more grateful than to start it with a mischievously handsome new friend.

…

“Ouch!” you complained as the healer cleaned your bloodied lip.

“Sorry,” the tiny guy apologized, and you sighed as he continued to clean one of your many wounds.

The mat had been brutal today, probably the most brutal you’ve had so far. Ivana Harlow was a ruthless, massively tall girl who had already killed two of her opponents on the mat, and today, she had almost kicked your ass back to your mother’s womb as well. Luckily for you, Liam had taught you just the right way to break someone’s leg, and even tho every inch of your body was in pain right now, at least your pride was intact.

“Where is she? Is she ok? Can you please let me see her?” A voice you had grown to know so well spoke behind the closed door of the treating room.

You tried to stand from the stretcher, but your body instantly protested in waves of intense pain that made you moan.

“Told you to stay still,” the healer warned you, and you huffed and ok.

The door flew open seconds later, and an extremely concerned looking Liam entered with panted breaths.

“Are you ok?” He sighed in partial relief when he saw you awake, and you tried to smile without a grimace to calm his worries down.

“I’m fine.”

“She’s not,” the healer answered, and you shot him a look that he ignored.

“She’s not?” Liam’s worry came back in a second.

“I am,” you said again, but he was now not paying attention to you but to the healer.

“She has a broken rib.”

“Nothing a mender can’t fix,” you tried to say to calm Liam a little, but his face had already gone pale.

“And a broken ankle.”

“Again, a mender.”

“And her stomach was one punch away from bleeding internally.”

“But it did not happen!”

“And-”

“And can you stop? Before he passes out,” you signaled Liam with your head, who looked so pale you started to worry he may replace you in this stretcher.

“I’ll leave you two,” the healer said, disposing of the bloodied cotton with which he had been cleaning the blood off your lip. “Don’t try to stand up,” he warned you with an accusatory finger, and you only nodded and murmured your thanks.

When it was only you and Liam in the treating room, you smiled at him.

“I’m fine, I am,” he sighed and rubbed his eyes, approaching you with a frown of worry in his beautiful face.

“When Ridoc went to look for me and told me Ivana had left you passed out I ran. I should’ve been there, I’m sorry,” you shook your head and went to grab his hands with yours.

“You had other things to do, besides, Ridoc’s an overly dramatic idiot, I didn’t pass out. Besides, you would’ve been proud, I broke that bitch’s leg after she broke my rib,” Liam finally laughed slightly, and you smiled at the sound.

“I am proud,” your smile turned into a slight blush, and he let go of one of your hands to take it to your cheek and softly, being extra careful not to touch the red spots that were already turning purple, rubbed sweet circles in it.

“Thank you, for what you taught me,” you said to fill that beating gap in your chest that was making it really hard to breath.

You’ve been lately feeling that way around Liam, specially since he’d been changed to the Flame Section, and you’ve stopped seeing each other as much since then. But every chance he got, he looked for you, and you were grateful he hadn’t yet forgotten about you.

But now every time you got together was even more special than the last one, every training session or glance across the dinning room or time together during class. It hadn’t been until you stoped having him next to you every time that you started noticing the effects of his absence. You missed him more than you thought you would, and you realized you probably liked him more than you thought you did.

It was complicated, he was your friend, and there were yet a lot of things he hid from you, you knew for the way he stoped himself while speaking sometimes or avoided certain topics.

“You don’t have to thank me, Y/N, you know I would do anything to…” Again, as he now usually did, he stoped himself.

“To what?”

He didn’t answer, only stared into your eyes with his deep blue ones. Every time he looked at you, you felt like you could drown in his ocean eyes and you wouldn’t mind one bit. But you couldn’t explain that, because he was your friend, and nothing else. Or at least he had never hinted he would be up to being something else at all, and you’d seen him flirt, a lot.

“Liam, to what?” You insisted a little more, and when he lowered his head, you released his hand and moved your head away from his other hand.

“To keep you safe, Y/N, I would to anything to keep you safe.”

You stared at him with an open mouth, not knowing exactly what to say, or think of his words. He looked so unlike him with his serious expression and tormented gaze, you couldn’t help but to grab his hand and squeeze it.

“I know,” you murmured in a low, much rasp voice you thought you had at the moment.

“You scared the shit out of me,” he got closer to you, drawing circles in the back of your hand with his thumb, and making your heart stupidly speed up.

“I know, I’m sorry,” he wasn’t looking up from your hands, but he got slowly closer to you until your legs instinctively parted to let him get between them.

“She could’ve killed you, she has already killed opponents,” his other hand went to cup your cheek again, and you felt how the air got trapped on your throat as his intense blue eyes met yours.

“But she didn’t.”

“You broke her leg,” he stroke your cheek delicately, and you couldn’t help but to close your eyes and lean into his sweet touch.

“I did,” you confirmed with a devilish grin, and Liam let out a shaky breath, like he was too having trouble breathing this close to you.

“Gods, Y/N, I can’t believe you’re doing this to me.”

You arched your eyebrows in confusion and pursed your lips, unable to think with clarity at all.

“What? What am I doing now?”

Then Liam backed away from you, so far that you couldn’t reach him now. Suddenly you felt too cold, too unprotected of the harsh breeze that went between you two. You were absolutely confused and out of words, his eyes now didn’t let out a single feeling for you to try to read, and before you could get words out of your already opened mouth, he spoke.

“Get some rest, the mender should be here in no time,” and just like that, he was gone.

What the actual fuck. You asked yourself as you stared at the door with an astonished expression, and a disappointed, turned-down heart.

…

You were fine now, after a week of rest, the pain had completely disappeared, and your energy was back at the top as you excitedly tied the laces of your riding boots, getting ready to finally be able to go on a ride without the ultimate danger of your pain making it way too difficult to hold on. It had been Luainthr, your dragon, who suggested you didn’t step a foot on one of his scales before you fully recover. He had been worried for you, even if he wouldn’t straightforwardly say it.

The door of your bedroom sounded with three simple knocks, and so you strapped your last dagger on your boot before you stood up from your bed and walked towards the door.

Once open, Liam’s tall frame and beautiful eyes looked down to yours, and you abstained yourself from frowning as he took a deep, nervous breath.

You hadn’t seen him since that day in the treating room, when he had you left so abruptly with a knot on your heart and head.

“Liam, what-”

“I made you this,” he didn’t even let you finish speaking when he handed you a little wood-carved necklace.

You almost gasped at the beauty of the hand made magnolia.

Your favorite flower.

“Liam, this is…” You looked up at him with stars of gratitude shining in your eyes, making him smile as well. “Beautiful, absolutely beautiful. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. To replace the cursed one, I guess,” you couldn’t help but laugh while putting on the beautiful necklace.

Magnolias symbolized endurance and perseverance, both things you had clung onto so tightly since you got here. In one of your late night talks, you had told Liam about your love for magnolias, you hadn’t thought, tho, that he remembered up till now.

“Liam…” You said with a sigh, watching as his shoulders were tense and he sucked in a breath, there was something bothering him, you saw how his blue eyes mimicked a relentless ocean and knew immediately something was up with him. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m sorry,” he said with a sigh, finally getting something he apparently really needed out of his chest. “For how I left the other day, and for not coming to visit you. I’m sorry, Y/N.”

“Why did you leave like that?” He looked away from you, only giving you more reasons to be curious. “Liam, what is it?”

“Because…” He blurted out, seeming to struggle with his words.

Watching Liam flustered like this was something you had never expected to see. He was overly confident, cocky. He flirted his way out and in of everything. He was the best cadet in your year, the best fighter, simply; the best. But here he was, at your door, all flustered and appearing to be a wreck of nerves.

“Because I had to leave you,” there was a certain pain in his eyes that made you feel a crush in your own heart.

“Why?” Your voice was more of a whisper than you anticipated.

“Because I didn’t wanted to kiss you when you were like that, and I desperately wanted to.”

The words struck late in your head, and your eyes widened as they finally did.

You saw it then, how he so desperately wanted to kiss you now too, but you hadn’t said it yet. That you wanted it just as bad.

So you grabbed him by the collar of his jacket and dragged him inside your room, closing your door with your boot before you pushed your lips to his.

His hands wrapped around your waist immediately as yours grabbed both sides of his face. And the most wild, desperate kiss you had ever given took all the rational thoughts completely out of your head.

“Fucking hell, Y/N,” he moaned in a rasp voice when you both needed some desperate air, nipping your lower lip and making you moan as well.

“Took you long enough,” your voice was just as shaky and out breath when you spoke.

Liam smiled in your mouth, and kissed you deeply again, once, twice, grabbing the back of your neck and tilting your head up, stroking gently but somewhat so possessively your jaw.

“It sure as hell did,” his low voice sent a shiver down your entire body, the sound reverberating in yours, causing heat to rush from the top of your head to the tips of your toes, curling them up, and building an insufferable pulse between your legs.

And he made sure to make up for all that time after that, bringing you to the depths of a pleasure you never thought possible before you had him worshiping every inch of your body.

#fourth wing #fourth wing fanfic #fourth wing fic #liam mairi #liam mairi fic #liam mairi fanfic #xaden riorson #violet sorrengail #the empyrean #rebecca yarros

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epiphanylore · 2 months

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Favourite taylor collab? (Pt.3)

SOTB with more Lana ties in with the original listed

#tsoutfitmadness #swiftie polls #the eras tour #speak now tv #ttpd #fearless tv #taylornation #red tv #taylor swift polls #taylor swift poll #taylor swift #collaboration #music #lana del rey #florida #florence and the machine #post malone

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marvelsswansong · 2 years

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the perfection of every Midnights track (in order)

Track 1: Lavender Haze

the fact that it opens with "meet me at midnight", the tagline for this era. the pounding beats with drowned out melodies that makes it feel like you're hearing the song through the bathroom wall at a party winding down at midnight. the line "you don't really read into my melancholia." the narrative of pushing through the chaos of popular gossip and sexist social commentary, to be wrapped up in the soft 'lavender gaze' of a love and to surrender to falling down the love spiral.

Track 2: Maroon

the entire song reads like a narrative of a romance story, seeing vignettes of her falling in love with one connecting factor: various hues of red (the most romantic and bold color) bleeding into maroon. silly mistakes like him spilling wine on her shirt, passionate love marks left on her collarbones, rust that grew from telephones in between long distance calls, the blush on her cheeks. by the time the song ends and so does the relationship, the colors of these memories have faded from rubies and scarlet (remarkably more bright and happy colors) to maroon.

Track 3: Anti-Hero

brutally honest and self-reflective track, taylor's most sharp cutting lyrics yet. the insufferable passing of time, feeling at unease at every turn. how ease you feel doing self-destructive things (like staring at the sun) but then not being unable to face up to yourself and stare at the mirror. feeling like you're the problem at every turn, doubting your kindness as selfishness, acting out in unkind ways as a 'self fulfilling prophecy' because you already view yourself as the anti-hero.

Track 4: Snow on The Beach (ft. Lana Del Rey)

the soft strummings of instrumentals, taylor's delicate lyrics and pacing of her words mimic snowflakes slowly falling down, beautiful atmosphere on this track. the harmonies of Lana and Taylor's voices are absolutely heavenly, they complement each other's tones so well. the paradoxical image of there being snow on the beach to reflect falling in love in the most nonsensical, unbelievable and magical ways. feeling surrounded by a noiseless dream, not knowing if this is real - "it's weird but fucking beautiful, stars by the pocketful."

Track 5: You're On Your Own, Kid

after waiting eternities (watching fires wither into ashes, endless drip-drip of sprinklers and sitting through video phone calls with an unsympathetic lover smoking on the other end) - she realizes he's never cared and she's truly on her own. she yearns to escape this town and in an attempt to earn love, she's thrown meaningless parties and starved her body. it's all in hopes that she'll be saved by a magic kiss (as many princesses are saved in fairytales, notably). she endures it all, the jokes and fake friends and cruelty of the industry. but as she stands in a blood soaked gown, she sees it all for what it is: you may be on your own, as you always have been, but you can face it. such an incredibly relatable message and a harrowing yet comforting realization. you're on your own, but that also means you can save yourself.

Track 6: Midnight Rain

the distorted vocals and light synth rhythms work with the song so well, the reflections of why the relationship didn't work out are haunting her and replaying in her head. he's sunlight - nice, comfortable, comes from a picture perfect family with holiday peppermint candy. she's midnight rain - covert, hard to read, seeking out darkness and pain. it could've never worked out and she never thinks of him, except for on midnights like this (perhaps it was also raining when she wrote this song).

Track 7: Question... ?

Taylor's tortured by endless questions. she knows he's painted her nights with a color she's been searching for ever since. but with life, circumstances and miscommunications getting in the way she's ultimately been left with more questions than answers. the organization of the verses as different questions meant to unravel the failings of her relationship with this 'sad boy' is brilliant, showing us little glimpses into their history. her playful "it's just a question" after each biting remark, poking at the most sensitive and tense parts of their relationship, is exceptionally delightful.

Track 8: Vigilante Shit

the callback to reputation era is strong with this one! but whilst reputation revenge tracks were loud, unapologetic and messy, this track screams organized crime, meticulous planning and cunning games. the brilliant lyric ‘i don't start shit, but I can tell you how it ends'. the revenge storyline intertwined with the track of a coke addicted, high power businessman facing his downfall with his ex-wife and Taylor being on their 'vigilante shit' is just... some Bond level shit.

Track 9: Bejewled

the ultimate self-love, re-claiming your worth anthem. she's been letting him take advantage of her - walking over her peace of mind with shoes she bought for him - and she's tired of being too kind. "familiarity breeds contempt", being close to him has only drained her. so she's going to go out and polish up real nice because she's a jewel and a "diamond's gotta shine". i absolutely adore the twinkling sounds in the background, alongside with the peppy "nice" shouts in between verses and the upbeat beats underlying the whole track = it all beautifully constructs this image of Taylor shining bright like a jewel and it fits the happy emotive aspect of the track.

Track 10: Labyrinth

taylor's vocals are notably more muted, quiet and apprehensive on this track compared to the rest of the album. which makes sense, because she's lost in a labyrinth of her mind, facing her worst fears. like an elevator she knows will fall as quickly as it rises, she's frozen and lost in an endless maze as she realizes she's falling in love with someone who has the power to redirect the plane she previously thought was falling down. i also really love the cyclical imagery Taylor uses in this song to show her uneasiness at the situation, an attempt at repetitive patterns in order to calm herself: "breathe in, breathe through, breathe deep, breathe out" and "break up, break free, break through, break down."

Track 11: Karma

For her enemies, karma is something to be afraid of (a bounty hunter, thunder, an agitating thought) but not for Taylor. instead, karma is a sweet cat, her boyfriend, the wind blowing through her hair on the weekends - it's a friendly force always on her side of the street. the concept of turning karma (this intacticle, inhuman concept) into a powerful force that she's friends with.... genius. Taylor's signaling her security and happiness, that ultimately karma will always be on her side and she's not worried. her sweet voice and glossy synths paired with these cutting lyrics are a pairing made in heaven.

Track 12: Sweet Nothing

the CUTEST love song ever, i adore how simple this track is. it starts out with a reference to a childish game - "i spy with my little eye" - and a pebble that she forgot she pocketed from Wicklow. the relationship is comfortable and sweet. Taylor sings about how so many people want her for fame and money, how there's immense pressure on her and endless demands and criticisms from all directions. but not her lover. he's content with just being with her, even when the world is banging down on the walls, he's humming in the kitchen and ultimately he doesn't want anything from her except sweet nothings. whisperings of love that are superficial in nature, sure, but contain and express so much affection and trust.

Track 13: Mastermind

the closing track to slay all closing tracks. the references to fate (stars aligning, lighting of a fuse) and meticulous planning (chess, dominoes falling in clockwork, being the wind in their free-flowing sails and liquor in their cocktails) add so much rich imagery to this song. this track touches a lot on the concept of control and self determination (a theme throughout the album be it lack of control, self destructive control or restrictive control) but the ending of this song makes it a little different. turns out, all along, he knew what she was up to. she didn't need to concoct all this Machevillian, mastermind level planning that she's been doing with all her relationships since she was a little kid because people didn't want to play with her. she's found her match.

#taylor swift #midnights #midnights album #swifties #taylurking #stream midnights #just wanted to add my two cents onto this excellent album <3 my fave Taylor album sorry Speak Now :(

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demxters · 2 years

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—𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑, 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐢𝐢

jake ‘hangman’ seresin x f!aviator!reader

series summary: “there’s no place like home for the holidays,” is a saying you loathe with a passion. you didn’t hate the holidays. you just wished you had a place to call home when the winter days are lonely and the nights are long and cold. little did you know that home was a lot closer than you think, and came in the package of a charming green eyed pilot with a surprising amount of love for the holiday season.

wc: 9.1k (oops)

warning(s): fem!reader, idiots in love, swearing, some self deprecating thoughts (from both jake and reader), mentions of anxiety, implications of bad family relationships, self esteem issues, angst/fluff/then more angst, a plethora of cliches from my favorite xmas romcom (iykyk)

part of the ‘through the seasons’ universe

prev.

𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐃𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊, 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒, 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐑𝐄𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐒 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐃 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐃!

you wanting me, tonight feels impossible…but it's comin' down no sound, it's all around. like snow on the beach… –snow on the beach, taylor swift (ft. lana del rey)

His brother was only older by one year, and yet the distance between the two has never been bigger. If you could believe it, growing up the two boys were inseparable. Two peas in a pod, partners in crime. Jake looked up to his older brother. He wanted to go where Luke went and do what Luke did. The Seresin brothers were each other’s best friend. Until high school.

The changes hit him like a freight car. Luke being a year older set a precedent for what was expected of Jake going into his freshmen year. It was barely a month into the new school year that Jake noticed it. The second his teachers heard his last name it was always “Luke” this or “Luke” that. He tried so hard not to let it bother him, but he was so tired of being compared to his brother.

Luke, who was captain of the lacrosse team. Luke, who was in student government. Luke, who was a straight A student. Funny, smart, charming, charismatic Luke. No one cared to give him a second glance. No one cared to notice that Jake Seresin could be funny. Jake Seresin was smart. Jake Seresin had good looks like his brother.

And while Jake was getting buried under his brother’s shadow, Luke was soaking up the spotlight. He loved the praise he received from teachers, from students, from girls. But most importantly, from his parents. He knew his parents meant well, but he couldn’t help but feel so small in comparison to his brother.

You want to join the chess club? Why don’t you do lacrosse like Luke instead?

You should ask Luke what he would do.

Maybe you should try to be more like Luke.

Luke let all that praise go to his head and he eventually thought he was better than his little brother. Too good for his little brother. Jake hated that he found himself believing it too.

So he did the only thing that made sense to him at the time. He acted out. He distanced himself from his family. Jake stayed out late past curfew. He kissed random girls at parties. He landed himself in detention every week or so. If everyone wanted him to be more like Luke, there was no way he would give them what they wanted. Jake Seresin wanted to be his own and he would make a name for himself.

As high school came to an end, so did Luke and Jake’s brotherhood. It was as if the two were barely family. Luke lived off of reminding Jake who the better Seresin was and his parents didn’t know better than to believe he was only trying to help Jake stay on track. He wished he could make them see that was far from the truth.

His saving grace throughout those four years came in the form of Javy Machado. The two had met in sophomore chemistry class when they almost set the lab on fire during a bunsen burner experiment. They’ve been attached to the hip ever since. Javy never saw Jake as Luke Seresin’s younger brother. To him, he was “just Jake.” Javy became the brother Jake had lost. Even now, years later that still held true.

He always felt like he had to compete with his brother for attention. Jake hated that he was beginning to feel it again right now.

Jake’s blood was boiling. Hot, red bubbles of anger passed through him as he watched Luke converse with you. You looked uncomfortable and his brother clearly didn’t get the hint.

“Javy, put that bag down.” Jake motions for him to leave the duffle bag on the floor. “Hey, Luke, you mind helping us out back here?”

Coyote snickers as he drops the bag down by his feet, sending Jake a smirk. “Smooth, man.”

“Shut up,” he retorts, though a ghost of a smile appears on his lips.

“Yeah, I’m coming.” His brother calls out, leaving you standing by the curb. But not before giving you one last look he liked to call, the ladies man. He misses the way your nose crinkles as he walks away. “Really, Jake? You two big Navy men couldn’t lift this one bag into the trunk?” Luke guffaws.

“Luke, always a pleasure.” Coyote nods at the man in faux pleasantry.

Jake resists the urge to scoff. “We could. I just wanted to tell you something about Thumper.”

“Man, you weren’t kidding when you said she was a looker. Thumper’s hot man,” Luke smirks.

“Woah!” Javy scolded with his hands out.

Jake on the other hand, felt that hot, boiling anger start to bubble over. He clenches his fists and his nostrils flare as he jabs his finger into Luke’s chest. “You better watch it.”

Luke shrugs his shoulders. He was loving the rise that the mere mention of your callsign got out of Jake. He knew his little brother was protective, but damn did this girl have a hold on him. One he hasn’t seen since Jake’s last girlfriend. “I’m just saying. Now is that all? Because the lady is waiting.”

He narrows his eyes at Luke, not letting the pressure on Luke’s chest weaken. “Thumper’s off limits. You got it?”

Luke looks back at him without an ounce of fear. He raises a challenging brow. “We’ll see about that, brother.”

________________

You fell asleep somewhere along the way to the Seresin’s ranch. The drive was another two hours to get out of the suburbs and by the time you woke up the cityscape was gone, now replaced with vast land of various shades of brown and green.

You smile in amusement to yourself, watching a tumbleweed pass by. You were almost pressed up against the window staring in awe as they rolled. In your defense you thought they only existed in cheesy, low budget Western movies and cartoons. Seeing one in real life made you feel like a child again.

The car ride was uncomfortably silent due to the presence of Jake’s brother. You haven't heard much about him other than that he was a year older than Jake. You noticed he didn’t like to talk about his brother much. His mother and father, however, you have heard all good things about. The nerves started to creep back into you and your leg started to bounce in the quiet of the car.

Coyote catches your eye and he gives you a soft smile, placing his hand on your knee like Jake had once before. You exhale deeply, silently thanking him with a nod as you continue to pace your breaths. Going off the rails now wouldn’t help you in the long run, you knew that. You take another deep breath and you find some clarity. You were feeling the same way you felt every time you took off in your plane. As you went higher, so did your anxiety. Once you reached the right altitude, you fell into autopilot and it was all smooth sailing from there. This wasn’t any different. Meeting Jake’s family was the incline. You just need to get past the climb and everything will be okay.

Your jaw practically drops as Luke pulls up to the property. The ranch was beautiful. Despite the winter climate, the lawn was green for miles. There was a large tree in the front with an old tire swing tied to one of its thick branches. A red, rusted truck that reminded you of Bella Swan’s was parked to the side.

As the SUV pulls into park, you exit the vehicle staring at the house in awe. Small and simple didn’t describe it at all. “Holy shit,” you exhale, never taking your eyes off it.

Jake steps out of the car as well and grins at you with his hands on his hips. He glances between you and the house and chuckles at your expression.

“You’ve been holding out on me, Seresin. This isn’t a house. This is a mansion.” Your eyes run across the stunning two story home. The entire estate was painted a shade of pearl, one that reminded you of the White House. The home was modern, yet had a rustic appeal that fit perfectly against the country backdrop.

Jake blushes, lowering his head in embarrassment. Being in the Navy has exposed him to people of different backgrounds than him, yet he still wasn’t used to the shameful reminder that he came from a family that had better than most. “It’s really nothing special. Just wait ‘til you see the horses,” he drives your attention away from the structure.

You squeal at that. “Horses?”

He slings an arm around your shoulder and laughs as he brings you to the trunk so he can help Javy with the bags. Luke had already wandered off to the front door, alerting his parents that they had arrived.

At the sound of your gleeful laughter, Coyote shakes his head. “I told you if you just led with the horses, she wouldn’t have fought against your invite.”

Jake scoffs. “That’s not true, right?” He looks down at you with wide eyes.

“Well…” you trail off as Jake takes full offense to that by pulling his arm off of you to place a hand on his chest.

Javy leads the way to the front door and the small banter exchanged between you and Jake was enough to take your mind off your impending doom. However, that also meant getting to the door quicker than you anticipated, giving you little to no time to prepare for a meet and greet.

Jake takes your hand as you walk through the doorway, giving it a reassuring squeeze. You feel your palms start to sweat and you hope he can’t feel your moistening flesh. You barely make it a foot into the home when you’re bombarded by a short older woman throwing her arms around you.

“My goodness, you’re even prettier in person!” She pulls back, holding you by the shoulders. She gives you a quick lookover. You immediately recognize the woman as one you’ve seen in many of the pictures Jake had in his room back on base. She had the same crinkles by her eyes and that breathtaking smile.

You waited for the agony of feeling out of place to hit you, but then she’s gathering you in her arms once more. You let out a squawk of surprise and look at Jake who has released your hand and is pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Ma, lighten up there. She needs room to breathe,” he scolds. He mouths a sorry to you that you only dismiss with a subtle shake of the head.

“Oh give me a minute to look at her, Jake.” She waves off her son before grabbing you gently once more. “It is so nice to finally meet you! Jake has told us so much about you.”

“Mom–” He tries to interject but is cut off by his mother once more.

“We’ve been hearing him go on and on about you for years. I mean, Thomas and I,” She pauses and hollers a loud, Thomas! behind her shoulder before turning back to you. “Thomas and I never thought we’d actually meet you in person, let alone in our own home! It is so good to have you here.”

Her sweet words warm your heart. Though the bit about her knowing about you for years throws you off just a bit, you decide to keep it in the back of your mind to bring up later. “Well, thank you for letting me stay. I hope I’m not any trouble, I know this was all last minute and I’m sure you had other plans for the holiday.”

“Nonsense, honey,” Mrs. Seresin coos. “We always love having company around here. Speaking of company, Javy Machado, I see you. Get over here!”

You step out of the way with hot cheeks so Javy can take your place in Mrs. Seresin’s arms. You giggle as she squeezes Coyote’s cheeks.

Luke comes back into the room with another man who you can only assume is Thomas Seresin. The man was intimidating, just as his sons were at first glance. You shrink into yourself, unknowingly stepping behind Jake’s broad shoulder.

“As I live and breathe, if it ain’t my son finally back in town,” Mr. Seresin grins under his wide brimmed hat.

Jake’s back straightens. He greets his father with a firm handshake and a small part of you is afraid of what his father is going to say next. But when the two break into similar smiles and gather one another in their arms, that fear turns into relief. Jake had told you his relationship with his father was complicated, so you didn’t know what to expect from him upon arrival. You were glad Mr. Seresin chose the more civil approach to your stay.

Mr. Seresin sees your figure from behind his son and scoots over so he can have a better view of you. “Thomas Seresin,” he greets with an outstretched hand. “I’m assuming that makes you Thumper?”

“That’s me sir,” you timidly reach out to shake his hand.

He blows a raspberry with a hearty laugh. “Please, call me Thomas. Are you alright with us calling you Thumper or do you prefer us use a different name?”

“Thumper’s alright with me,” you nod as he releases your hand and goes to greet Javy who was finally released from Mrs. Seresin’s clutches.

“Ma, look at the poor thing, she’s overwhelmed.” Luke comes to your other side, a little too close for your liking and you hook your arm around Jake’s and press yourself up against him. “Maybe you should rest in the room.”

Jake notices and brings you closer to his side by unraveling his arm from yours and wrapping his arm around your waist. He pulls you flush into his side and feels the tension in your body begin to fade. This time, he won’t deny the smile that tugs at his lips at you finding comfort in him. “I think Thumper can speak for herself,” Jake challenges his brother. His stern glare softens as he looks at you.

All eyes land on you and you can’t help but avoid eye contact with everyone else. You pick at the cuticles of your nails and exhale shakily. As lovely as Jake’s parents were, you needed a second to recuperate after all the introductions. You also wanted to make sure Jake was doing okay. Despite all the attention you’ve been getting, your own has been concentrated solely on the blond. There was this nagging feeling in your chest that alerted you to Jake’s own unease, similar to the way you could feel his rare moments of uncertainty in the air. “I was actually wondering if it would be okay for Jake and Javy to take me out to the town for a little while. I heard it was beautiful out there this time of year and can’t wait to see for myself.”

The proud smirk on Jake’s face is no longer hidden as he smugly looks at his brother. “That sounds like a great idea, darling.”

Coyote nods in agreement and checks his watch. “We should probably head out now though, before the sun sets. That way we can also make it back for dinner. If that’s okay with you, Thumps.”

“Sounds good, Coyote,” you affirm.

“Maybe I should go with you guys,” Luke interjects, eagerly. “It might be easier for you to settle in if you have a more reliable guide.”

This guy just would not quit, you think to yourself. Stubbornness must be a Seresin trait.

Jake opens his mouth to oppose, getting irritated at his brother’s constant persistence to steal his time with you away. It was so typical of him to force his way into Jake’s life, just like he did in high school.

Mrs. Seresin sighs as she hands Jake the keys to their truck. “Oh, let them be, Lucas.” She glances between you and Jake with a gentle smile. “Besides, I have a feeling Thumper’s gonna settle in just fine. You three better get a move on. You’re losing daylight.”

“Thanks, Ma,” Jake mouths to his mother, though she pretends not to know what he’s talking about. Thank goodness his mother was on his side this time.

_______

The Seresin’s property was around a thirty minute drive away from the nearest town of Mt. Davina. You don’t remember passing by on the drive up and you figure it must’ve been because you were knocked out at the time. You found yourself caught between Jake and Javy in the truck’s bench seat. It was a bit of a tight squeeze and you were straddling the middle counsel with your thighs, but you didn’t mind. It was similar to flying in your F-18.

The entire ride there, you took in every story and anecdote that fell from your friends’ lips. Hearing about how Jake and Javy were when they were younger had you seeing your friends in a new light. You loved how their eyes lit up and their cheeks would flush when one of them would recount an embarrassing moment about the other. It gave you a sense of connection to their brotherhood, one you now had a better understanding of.

It warmed your heart that they were letting you into this part of their lives. Compared to the rest of the squad, they were more reserved when it came to sharing tidbits of their life before the Navy. They would rather keep up the reputation they had now instead of tarnishing it with their “uncool” lives before then.

You were currently laughing along with Javy about the time he caught Jake belting Taylor Swift’s Picture to Burn while he was cleaning the horse stables back in high school.

“Who knew? Hangman Seresin is secretly a Swiftie,” you tease, proud of how pink the tips of his ears were getting. You rarely pulled this flustered type of behavior from him so it was definitely one you were going to take advantage of.

“It’s a good song, alright?” Jake defends. He won’t admit however that he was secretly enjoying this back and forth storytelling thing him and Javy had going on. It was enough to diminish your apprehensiveness from when you were meeting his family. He was glad he was able to pull the real Thumper back out of your shell. The way you threw your head back in laughter and wiped at the tears that dared to escape your eyes was something he could only describe as angelic.

“He’s not wrong about that one, Coyote.” You nudge Jake’s shoulder with yours and your heart flutters at the smile he sends you in return. “Although, don’t be surprised if I get Bradshaw to learn some Taylor Swift just for you.”

He groans and Javy bursts into another round of laughs as the two of you continue to take jabs at Jake’s nonexistent obsession with Taylor Swift. As Jake listens to the jokes you and Javy make, he realizes that he would share every embarrassing fact about himself if it got that reaction out of you. He would recount every time he has accidentally tripped over a hay bale or show you how ridiculous he looked in his oversized cowboy boots and hat as a kid just to hear you laugh the way you did just now. In fact, he found himself wanting to share every aspect of his life with you. He desperately hoped you wanted to do the same.

You were somewhat of a mystery to him. Yes, he could read you better than the others could and you’ve grown closer during the time you spent in Miramar. But you could also be closed off from him. He didn’t know much about your past or what your life was like growing up. Phoenix had told him you didn’t like sharing that part of yourself. Not because you didn’t trust the others with it, but rather because you were afraid of what they’d think of you after. He begged Phoenix to tell him so he could understand you better, but she told him it wasn’t her story to tell. Jake respected that and let you keep your boundaries. However, the time he spent with you made him realize that the past no longer mattered. Nothing could change the way he looked at you.

The town of Mount Davina was beautiful. So used to the crowded suburbs of San Diego, this felt like a breath of fresh air. The walk through town felt like a Hallmark Christmas movie. The quaint small town shops were adorned with quirky and elegant holiday decorations. There was a Christmas tree in the middle of the main street that was impossible to miss. Children and teenagers alike run up and down the sidewalks as the adults chatter and warn their kids to stay out of the street. You imagine little Jake and Javy running down the cobblestone streets, causing havoc like the troublemakers they were.

A brief tour of some of the shops gives you a feel of the little community. While some shop owners came and went, there were a few who had been there to see Mount Davina grow. The familiarity in their faces when Jake and Javy walked in told you that much.

“I can’t believe Mr. Edison sold that place,” Jake lamented.

Coyote agrees, holding the door open for you and Jake to enter through. “Me too. Man, I’m gonna miss that place.”

The warmth of the cafe hits you when you cross the doorway. The smell of fresh coffee and pastries is welcomed, smelling absolutely delectable in the cold, gloomy weather. “You’re going to miss the bait and tackle place? Do you guys even fish?” You giggle.

“It’s the thought that counts, sweetheart,” Jake remarks matter of factly.

After a battle of credit cards with Jake over the hot chocolate and pastries—he insisted on paying but you wouldn’t let him, which ultimately resulted in Javy taking the bill— the three of you settled in one of the booths at the back of the cafe.

The sip you take from your cup is absolute heaven. The rich, smooth chocolate and its warmth as it goes down your throat sends a shiver down your spine as it melts your insides.

Jake catches the way your eyes close in content with a grin. “Told you, it’s good right?”

“Good? This is heaven in a cup.” You put the cup down and hang your head back with a sigh.

They ended the tour with this stop at their favorite cafe before the three of you headed back to Jake’s house. The rest of the night went by smoothly despite the absence of Luke who seemed to have turned in extremely early for the night. Javy parted ways with the rest of you, leaving with Mr. Seresin to head back home. Jake had insisted on taking him home, but Javy made it clear that he wanted Jake to help you settle in for the night.

A soft knock to your door takes you away from your book as you mutter a soft, “come in,” to the person on the other side.

Jake enters the guest room with his plaid pajama pants and plain black tee shirt. His hair is slightly disheveled and no longer fixed to perfection. To put it simply, he was the epitome of domesticity in this light. Your heart fluttered as you took him. Jake was good looking. There was no doubt about that, but for some reason seeing him in this way made him even more attractive. You almost turn a hideous shade of green at the thought of anyone else getting to see him like this.

He settles beside you, sitting against the headboard of the bed. “I just wanted to say goodnight before you fell asleep.”

You smile sweetly at him and bookmark the page you are on before putting your book on the bedside table. He’s twiddling with his thumbs and he won’t meet your eye, giving you the impression that there was something else going on in his mind. “Talk to me, Hangman. How are you doing?”

The use of his callsign told him you were all business right now. “I don’t know. Everything is just so weird, you know? Being back here, seeing my family again. Having you meet them… it’s just weird.”

Your smile drops slightly at his words and you grimace. Every doubt you had before coming here came flooding back to you all in one go. You should’ve known this was all a little too good to be true. You should have known that Jake was only being thoughtful by inviting you home with him. It didn’t mean he actually wanted you here. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, I can take the next flight out of Dallas and everything can go back to normal.”

“Woah hey, Thumps, what are you talking about?” His brows furrowed in confusion and his hand shot out to catch yours.

You pull away from him, shaking your head. “I’m sorry for making things weird. I can leave as soon as possible and we don’t have to talk about any of this ever again.”

“No, no, sweetheart. That’s not at all what I meant. Hey,” he cups the side of your face, running his thumb across your cheekbone. “It’s not you making things weird. I want you here. I swear, I am so happy you’re here.” You see no hint of dishonesty in his form, making you relax just a bit. “You promise?” You ask, hesitantly.

He nods, his grip on your hand tightening reassuringly. “It’s not you that’s making this weird, I think it’s me.”

It’s your turn to be confused. “You?”

“I’m not the same person I was the last time I was here. I mean, don’t be surprised, but I wasn’t always the confident hotshot of a pilot I am today,” he says in an attempt to lighten the mood.

You laugh lightly, knocking your shoulder with his. “Really? You mean to say Jake Seresin hasn’t always been this cocky?”

He musters a weak smile. “No, it’s true. You’d be surprised by the guy I used to be.”

“Oh yeah? Humor me, Seresin,” you challenge. You turn to rest on your side, leaning on your arm to face him.

“Where to start,” he pretends to contemplate. “I was quiet. Almost as timid as you, Thumps.” He reaches out to tap his finger lightly against the tip of your nose, eliciting a small giggle from your lips. “And I wasn’t an obnoxious attention seeker.”

“You’re not obnoxious,” you interject.

“I am! Ask anyone on the squad.”

You see right through Jake’s facade of masking his insecurities with humor because you tend to do it yourself. But you thought the world of him, and hearing him belittle himself made you want to fight whoever made Jake think this way. “Why do you do that?”

“Do what?” He questions, watching the way your forehead crinkles in thought.

“Say that about yourself. You’re not obnoxious, Jake. No one thinks that.”

You speak to him with such conviction in your eyes, such honesty, that it makes him want to kiss you right then and there. It takes every ounce of restraint for him not to. Instead, he plainly shrugs.

“Jake,” you frown, scooting closer to him. “I don’t know what’s going on in your head, but whatever it is, you know that I’m here for you right? Just like you’re always here for me.”

“Yeah I know, darling. Sorry for dumping this on you with no resolve—“

“Don’t apologize. You have nothing to be sorry for. Sometimes we feel things and we don’t know why. And that’s okay. Just know that I never thought of you that way.” You hold his gaze, hoping he can feel the sincerity of your words.

There’s a warmth growing in his chest that Jake has only ever felt when he was with you. He just wished he could put it into words to let you know just how much he appreciated you. He was never good with words, but he was great at taking action.

He wraps his arms around you, the weight of him pushing you into the mattress. But you don’t mind. You loved being close to him. The two of you lay in that comfortable silence as he eventually moves to rest his head on your chest. Your fingers find their way to his hair and you run them back and forth through the short hairs at his neckline.

You find yourself drifting in and out of sleep when Jake begrudgingly untangles himself from your hold. He knows he won’t be able to find it in him to leave if he didn’t now. He gently moves away from your touch despite the disdain that stirs in his chest. “Goodnight darling,” he whispers into the night.

You acknowledge him with a hum, rolling over.

Kiss her you fool, the voice in his head screams at him.

He clenches his fist, desperate to brush aside the stray hair on your forehead and plant the sweetest of kisses there. But he doesn’t. As much as it pains him, he can’t.

Jake opted for one last soft goodnight before heading to bed himself. That night he drifts off into dreams of you and what could be.

____________

A few days passed of you staying at the Seresin’s and you were settling in much better than you expected. You spent the mornings making breakfast with his mother and eating with his family, the days exploring the ranch with Jake and Javy, and the evenings wrapping presents with Jake.

You found yourself feeling much more comfortable with them than you thought you would. You would even go as close to saying they felt like family. (Yes, even Luke who seemed to ease up and leave you alone).

This morning started the same as always. You were helping Mrs. Seresin with the dishes while Jake and Luke cleaned up the table. Mr. Seresin had left early this morning to help one of their family friends down in the city.

You’re laughing with his mother in the kitchen causing Jake to almost drop the remainder of the plates that sat on the dining table.

“Jesus, Jakey. All that Navy training, and yet you’re still a klutz?” Luke chortled.

Jake rolls his eyes, ignoring the jab at his childhood nickname that Luke knows he loathes. He stacks the rest of the plates as his brother continues to lean back, letting his brother do all the work.

Luke’s eyes drift to the kitchen, following Jake’s stare and he sees exactly what had Jake so distracted. He clicks his tongue with a knowing smirk. “What’s going on with you and Thumper?”

“Nothing,” Jake grumbles. He was not falling for another one of Luke’s games. Jake has had enough of his brother butting into his business in high school. He wasn’t going to let him get away with it now.

“Really? Because it looks like you have a little crush on her.” Luke eyes the way Jake’s jaw ticks and continues on. “Did I say little? I meant big. A big crush on her. How long has that been going on? A year? Two years?”

Jake fires back. “That’s really none of your business.”

“Touchy, touchy,” Luke goads. “You haven’t told her how you feel. Why not?” Jake stays silent, giving him the perfect opportunity to strike. He snaps his fingers in mocking realization and leans forward so he can be eye to eye with his brother. “Oh, that’s right. You haven’t told her how you feel because you know she won’t say she feels the same way.”

“Leave it alone, Luke.” Jake’s breath hitches in the back of his throat and there’s a familiar sting that tickles the tip of his nose.

“You know you won’t be enough for her. That’s why you haven’t said anything, right?”

Jake wants to punch his brother’s perfect teeth out as he smugly grins, knowing he hit him right where it hurts. “Shut up,” he hisses.

“Because deep down, you know that compared to someone like me, she will never settle for a man like you.”

He spins on his heel, grabbing Luke by the collar. Nostrils flared and cheeks red, Jake clenches his fists. “You better choose your next words, or I’ll–”

“Boys?” The sound of their mother’s voice breaks up what would have become a full fledged fist fight. “Are you done with those plates?”

“Yeah, I’ve got ‘em, Ma,” Luke hollers, scooping up the stack at the corner of the table. He gives Jake a wink, not at all phased by his brother’s behavior and strides off to the kitchen.

Luke knows damn well that Jake is watching his every move and he purposely puts his hand on your lower back, gently moving you aside as he places the rest of the dishes in the sink. You’re a bit flustered by the contact and you bashfully stutter over your quick words of greeting toward the man. You tuck your chin to your sternum with a shy smile.

The way you don’t shift away from his touch feels like a stab to Jake’s heart.

_________

“You ready to go, cowboy?” Jake’s staring out at the yard in deep thought as you approach him. You come to a stop beside him and he still has yet to acknowledge your presence. “Jake?” You tap him lightly on the shoulder.

He doesn’t even turn to look at you as he replies shortly, “Yeah. Let’s go.”

You frown at his tone, but brush it off with the assumption that it had something to do with the conversation you had a few nights ago. Since then, you never dared to bring it up knowing that Jake would come to you on his own time. You observed the Seresin family closely during your stay at their estate after that night, noticing how the Seresins seemed to favor their oldest son. Whether they realized they were doing it or not, you couldn’t tell. However, the innocence in his mother’s voice told you that she didn’t mean any harm by the things she said. Mr. Seresin on the other hand, was too hot and cold for you to come to a conclusion about where he stood with Jake.

Falling into step with him during your trek to the truck, you try to get him to look at you. One thing you knew about Jake Seresin was that he held all his weight on his shoulders. Today, they were touching his earlobes, a tell tale sign that he was not at all relaxed. “Are you okay?” You stop him in his tracks with a gentle touch to his elbow.

“Fine,” is all he says before unlocking the truck and jumping into the driver’s side.

The ride to Coyote’s place was quiet. It wasn’t the usual, comfortable silence that fell between you and Jake but rather a heavy silence that was suffocating. The only sounds that could be heard is the hum of the truck’s engine and the staticky Christmas music that played off the old radio.

Javy felt the tension the second he got into the truck. He sent you a questioning look to which you only gave back a halfhearted shrug.

The melancholy atmosphere continued to carry over once you reached the small shopping mall in town. Javy tried his best to lighten the mood, but even his normally enticing jokes didn’t seem to work. Jake had excused himself to the bathroom, giving you a moment alone with Coyote.

“What happened this morning?” Javy questions.

“I don’t know,” you admit. “I’m just as lost as you are. Everything was good, great even. And then all of a sudden… nothing. He’s just icing me out.” You don’t need to say that it hurt you for Javy to know that. “Was it something I did? If it is I need to know, Javy. I can’t bear the thought of not knowing if I did something to make him mad at me.”

“Oh, Thumper, I doubt that it’s anything you did. But if it makes you feel better, I’ll try to find out for you.” He opens his arm up to you and pulls you into his side.

“Thanks, Coyote,” you say against his shoulder.

When Jake comes back, he still doesn’t say much, letting the silence do most of the talking for him. You decide to ask the boys if you could walk around by yourself for a bit and you could tell that Jake is hesitant to let you go off on your own. But he doesn’t stop you. He lets you go. For some reason, it tugs at your already weakened heartstrings a little more.

“Hey, what’s the matter with you, man?” Coyote stops Jake, pulling him off to the side.

He doesn’t dare make eye contact with his friend. “Nothing.”

Javy scoffs, clearly not buying any of Jake’s bullshit. “So what, ignoring Thumper and acting like an asshole is nothing?” Hand it to Coyote to call it as it is. “She thinks she did something wrong, you know. And it’s killing her.”

That breaks a bit of Jake’s resolve. “She didn’t do anything. I swear, it’s not her.”

“Then what? Because she doesn’t deserve to be thrown off to the side, let alone by you of all people.” There’s an unspoken understanding that passes between the two of them by his words.

Jake knew he was right. Him, who promised he’d never leave hanging despite what everyone said about him. By avoiding you, he was doing just that. He tried so hard not to let the conversation he had with his brother this morning get to him. Yet after seeing how you interacted with his brother, he was suddenly in high school again. Left to his own devices, watching as Luke took away every good thing that Jake had. He didn’t stop to think that he was driving you right into Luke’s arms by his actions. “You’re right.” Jake finally submits. “It’s fucking Luke again, you know? He called me out on my feelings for Thumper and said some things that made me see red.”

“What things?”

“Just something along the lines of him being a better guy than me. You know, the usual. Then he spewed some shit about Thumper not feeling the same towards me.”

Coyote raises a brow. “And you believe him?”

Jake dryly laughs. “I was really trying not to until I saw how she was with him. God, thinking of them together is already enough to make me sick.”

“You know Thumper. And Thumper knows you better than Luke. I highly doubt that she’d ever go for a guy like him. Not when she has you.” Javy places a confirming hand on Jake’s shoulder. “Don’t let him get to your head again. Use that brain of yours to take your control back instead of letting him control you.”

Jake’s shoulders deflate. “I don’t want to lose her, Javy. Especially not to Luke.”

“You won’t, alright? You won’t lose her. Not to Luke, not to anyone. That girl loves you as much as you love her, hell, maybe even more!” Javy lightly chuckles.

He blushes red at his statement. “Who said that I love her?”

“Jake, I knew you were attracted to Thumper but it was pretty much implied the second you jumped the gun and invited her to come home with us. You would never bring anyone home. You don’t trust anyone enough to do that. And yet…”

It doesn’t hit him like some kind of epiphany. The realization that he loved you, that he was in love with you flowed through every inch of his body. Because deep down, he knew the feeling was always there. He knew from the moment he laid eyes on you at Top Gun the second time, that you were it for him. That this was fate giving him a second chance to get to know the aviator who blew him away the first time he was at Top Gun and to actually muster up the guts to make a move. Jake Seresin was in love with you. He didn’t feel surprised as it dawned on him. It was why he knew all the little details about you by heart. Why he needed to keep his eye on your drink the entire time whenever you guys were at the bar. How every touch the two of you shared felt like magic. How naturally his body just melted into you. He didn’t feel surprised that he loved you because his body already knew it from the start. Only now, was he able to put that tug, that aching feeling in his chest that he got whenever you were around, into words. It was love. This entire time, what he was feeling was love.

“I love her,” he says, like a secret only to be shared between him and Coyote. “I love her,” he says again with more conviction in his tone. “I love her,” he states. It’s a truth. It’s a fact. He loves you. He loves you and he needs to tell you before his heart bursts. “Come on, we should go find her now.”

Jake leads the way like a man on a mission, remembering the store you told them you would be at. A newfound fire burns in his chest as he repeats those three words in his head like a mantra. He’s buzzing with hope, anxious but eager to find you and say those three words that linger on the tip of his tongue.

He enters the department store with Javy right on his tail. Jake makes a beeline to the women’s clothing section when he hears your melodic laugh. He follows it like a moth to a flame, incapable of wasting another second away from you.

Coyote can barely keep up with his friend as he has to jog to keep up with him. However, Jake abruptly stops causing him to run straight into his back. “Dude!” he exclaims.

Jake’s body goes rigid, his shoulders taut, making alarm bells go off in Javy’s head. He peers around his shoulder to see what had him floored when he sees you and Luke looking a little too close for a public setting. Luke’s hand is in yours and your mouth is slightly agape as he seems to lean into you.

He looks from you, to Luke, to Jake, and if it weren’t for his brother’s boisterously loud greeting once he saw they were standing there, Javy was sure he would’ve been able to hear Jake’s heart shatter.

____________

Luke showing up at the mall was the last thing any of you expected to happen on your outing today. You were caught by surprise when you heard your callsign being called in the store. There were only so many people who actually knew you in this town, and for a moment you were quite startled. That was until you turned around and saw Luke Seresin heading your way.

The rest of the day took a weird turn from there. Jake and Javy had found the two of you and Javy, a little too enthusiastically, decided to join the two of you in your shopping. Well, you were shopping and Luke was being a bit of a bother.

You had wanted to go to the ice skating rink after shopping today, but something about the way Jake and Luke were eyeing each other made you decide that it probably wasn’t the best day for that.

Jake’s mood hadn’t changed since the last time you saw him, but at least he was talking to you a little more now. It wasn’t completely better, but it was a start. You noticed the constant back and forth stares the brothers shared and the way they puffed their chests whenever one of them got a little too close to the other.

You were getting tired of the two’s antics and decided to just head back to the ranch. At least there you could lock yourself up in the bedroom and have some peace.

You dropped Javy back off at his house and went back for dinner at the Seresin’s yet the weird atmosphere between you and the two boys didn’t seem to waver. Luke had spent the entire meal talking your ears off about God knows what. You had zoned out, far too occupied with the other Seresin beside you who had barely spoken to you the entire day. After dinner, instead of sticking around to chat like you usually would, you excused yourself onto the back deck where Jake had disappeared not long ago. The deck had frozen over just a bit and you tried your best to wobble your way to Jake.

He must have heard you because he turns around to meet you. You open your mouth to speak, taking another step forward when you slip. A yelp leaves you and you’re falling forward with your eyes closed, your reflexes far too slow to catch yourself.

Jake, on the other hand, bolts forward to catch you in his arms. He almost slips as well but nearly regains his balance as you hold on to him tightly with your arms wound around his waist.

“Sorry,” you breathe against his chest.

His heart skips a beat and he continues to hold you close. You try to bring yourself back to a stand but your knees buckle and you end up slipping again.

“Shit!” Jake lets out, shuffling to hold you up. He slides one arm around your lower back, pulling you flush against him, while the other wraps around your shoulders. You’re shaking from the cold and the adrenaline of the entire situation. Jake leans back on the wooden rail of the deck, but doesn’t let you go. He rubs a comforting hand up and down your back, relishing in your closeness as you bury your face into the crook of his neck. “You’re okay, I’ve got you,” he mutters. “It’s okay.”

“I’m sorry,” you whimper this time, feeling the pain in your chest rise. You missed him. Jake had been here the entire time, yet all it took was one day of him barely talking to you and you missed him.

“It’s okay.” Jake sighs into your hair. He doesn’t know what you’re apologizing for, but in his eyes, you can do no wrong. So to him, you were just spouting empty apologies. If anyone had something to be sorry for, it was him.

You had finally stopped shaking. There was no reason for Jake to still be holding you and yet you didn’t want him to let you go. “I’m sorry,” you say once more, though you don’t really know what you’re apologizing for.

He doesn’t answer you then. He just rests his chin on your shoulder. Jake’s touch felt different than the other times he has held you. You felt him everywhere. In your bones to the tips of your fingers, everything else beyond him ceased to exist.

You don’t know how much time has passed before you’re finally letting go of him, remembering why you followed Jake out there in the first place.

“Are you okay?” You peer up at him from under your lashes.

“It’s nothing you need to worry about sweetheart.” He smooths his hands up and down your arms. “I promise.” He tilts your head up to face him so you can see the earnest look in his eyes.

“Alright. But I still worry about you anyway.”

He smiles softly. He knows you do. It makes him regret his reaction earlier even more. “I’m sorry about today. How I treated you wasn’t fair. I was just going through some stuff and–”

“Hey, it’s okay. You don’t have to explain yourself. I know you don’t like doing the whole feelings and vulnerability thing,” you dismiss.

Jake appreciates how you just seem to understand him without him having to explain himself. He didn’t, however, get how you didn’t notice that you were the only person he was openly vulnerable with. What more could he do to make you understand that he wanted you to have every part of him?

You move to lean up against the rail beside him. The Texas night sky is much clearer than the one in San Diego, giving you the perfect view of the stars. It was cold enough that you could see your breath out there, but you didn’t mind. “It’s beautiful out here,” you direct your words to the stars.

Jake stares at you with full blown adoration in his eyes. “It is, isn’t it?”

You lean your head on his shoulder, admiring the view.

Now was perfect, Jake was sure of it. You under the pale moonlight pressed up against his side with that dreamy look in your eyes…

Seeing you with Luke earlier that day made him realize that he could lose at any minute. And he couldn’t lose you, not to his brother. Not to anyone. Jake Seresin was done living under his brother’s manipulation. He was done being a coward.

“Thumper.”

“Hangman,” you parrot.

There’s no going back. Take a breath and take the shot. It’s as easy as flying. Almost.

“Hey, you two! Get inside. It’s freezing out there!” Mrs. Seresin hollers from the open door of the back deck.

Jake lets out a heavy sigh, hanging his head low as you pull away from him.

“Your mother’s right. We should head in.” You nod towards the door.

He follows you in, silently cursing at the night sky for having his perfect moment ruined.

“Wait!” His mother exclaims, stopping the both of you.

Jake places a gentle hand on your hip to avoid running into you. “What, Ma?”

She points up at the door frame with a giddy smile and the two of you glance up to see a cluster of green above your heads.

“Oh…” You rub the back of your neck, sheepishly.

Luke and Mr. Seresin enter the room, curious to see what the commotion is about. Luke has a sour look on his face while Mr. Seresin watches on in amusement.

“Well?” His father pushes while Luke snorts.

“He’s not gonna do it, Dad,” Luke laughs.

You snap your head towards him with distaste. You don’t miss the way Jake’s face falls at his words.

Jake’s cheeks are pink and it’s not because of the cold. Hand it to Luke to make Jake feel like an idiot in front of the girl that he loved.

You turn to face him with wide eyes. “It is tradition,” you say softly.

He masks his surprise with a cough.“I guess it is.” He leans in, meeting you halfway. Jake stops with the tip of his nose barely brushing yours. His eyes ask you for permission and you subtly urge him ahead.

The second your lips touch his, Jake’s sure he never wants to kiss another woman ever again. You’re pressed to his chest with your hands reaching up to pull him closer by the neck. Your lips mold together like pieces of a puzzle. No other kiss has ever felt so real. So right.

The wait was worth it. He would finally be able to confirm that you were just as incredible as the fantasies he painted in his head.

Your lungs start to burn and to your dismay you untangle yourself from him, gasping for air. Your lips tingle as you pull away and you can still taste him faintly on your tongue. Jake had just given you the best kiss you’ve ever had.

You stare into Jake’s eyes that are as dark a shade of green as the mistletoe on the door. The quickening pace of your heart terrifies you as your brain tells you to kiss him again. You want to. You’ve never wanted anything more than to kiss him again. To have his hands roam every inch of your body, your bare skin. You want him. But you can’t. You can’t ruin this. You can’t risk losing the one good thing you worked so hard to have.

You take a large step back from Jake who had been eyeing you wearily upon noticing your apprehensive state.

“Thumper,” he breathes.

You swallow harshly, darting straight to the staircase startling Jake and the rest of his family who you forgot was still there.

You turn on your heel, quickly glancing over his family before landing on Jake. There’s an unreadable expression on his face and you have to bite your tongue to stop yourself from crying.

“Goodnight,” is all you say before rushing upstairs and locking yourself in the guest bedroom.

Your emotions begin to bubble up to the surface the second the events of the night have a chance to sink in.

You just kissed Jake Seresin, your best friend. And you liked it. You would do it over and over again if you could.

But Jake would never go for someone like you. Not in a million years. You’ve seen the women he flirted with at the bar and went on dates with. You were definitely not his type. You could never compete with them. Not by a long shot. Jake saw you as a pal. A good buddy. A friend. Not someone he would be romantically attracted to. You were sure of it. Never, in a million years, would you be good enough for Jake Seresin. He deserved more. He deserved better.

When you let Jake in all those years ago, you never thought that you would end up falling for him too. After tonight, there was no more denying how strong your feelings were for your best friend. All it took was one kiss to confirm that what you were feeling was real. But you wouldn’t let yourself get hurt again. You swore to keep your heart locked away in the confines of your brick walls after what happened last time. Those same walls that Jake had managed to break down within one month of knowing you.

Jake Seresin was a shoulder to cry on when no one was around. He was an ear to listen to all your crazy rants and terrible dad jokes. He was a home when you didn’t have one. Little did you know that he was also the key to unlocking the chains you kept wrapped around your aching heart. That he was the key to finally setting yourself free.

a/n: thank you so much for all the love you’ve given this series!! it really keeps me motivated to continue writing. i’m thinking of having another part of this specific chapter that goes more into thumper and her backstory, if that’s something anyone is interested in. anyways, as usual, the inbox is always open for any of your thoughts/questions you may have. happy holidays! i love you all <3

taglist: @joaquinwhorres @bobfloydsbabe @t-nd-rfoot @gretagerwigsmuse @marantha @mountainrooster @gcidrvsh @smoothdogsgirl @pr3ttyboysmakemecry @steve--harrington--gal @marrianena @cdauni @gigisimsonmars @bookaholics-stuff @dempy @potato-girl99981 @captain-beskar @novagreen04 @enigmalynne @teacupsandtopgun @rhirhikingston @harrycherrylove

#jake hangman seresin #jake seresin x reader #hangman x reader #jake seresin x f!reader #hangman x f!reader #jake seresin x you #jake seresin x y/n #—through the seasons

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kaaaaaaarf · 10 months

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⭐ a very wolfstar christmas playlist ⭐

You'll laugh, you'll cry (I apologize for my actions, I really have nothing to say for myself), you'll be merry and bright.

1. Handjobs for the Holidays // Broken Social Scene

Let me take you on, we'll get high just a little Try to surface the calm, we don't come inside We've got eyes that leave us in places we don't see

2. The Stars Shine in the Sky Tonight // Eels

I can't live in a world that you have left behind Seen a lot, been through too much But this is where I draw the line It's not where you're coming from It's where you're going to And I just want to go with you [...] The stars shine in the sky tonight Like a path beyond the grave When you wish upon the star There's two of us you need to save

3. The Day After Tomorrow // Phoebe Bridgers

I close my eyes every night And I dream that I can hold you They fill us full of lies, everyone buys About what it means to be a soldier I still don't know how I'm supposed to feel About all the blood that's been spilled Will God, on His throne, get me back home On the day after tomorrow?

4. Two Queens In a King Sized Bed // girl in red

I don't have a lot to give But I would give you everything All my time is yours to spend Let me wrap you in with my skin With my skin Two queens in a king-sized bed Like angels in the snow My only wish is one more year And then I want them all Your freckled cheeks, our tangled feet The closer, the better it gets So let's stay right here Until forever disappears

5. The Blood We Bleed // Tom Odell

I walk back home, you're all alone The ivy's grown, it's Christmas Eve I brought some wine, it tastes like shite But it provides the spark we need Come on, let's fight, don't be polite You know the knife that cuts me deep You treat me tough, we call it love But it's your blood, I'm gonna bleed

6. Snow On The Beach // Taylor Swift (ft Lana Del Rey)

One night, a few moons ago I saw flecks of what could've been lights But it might just have been you Passing by unbeknownst to me Life is emotionally abusive And time can't stop me quite like you did And my flight was awful, thanks for asking I'm unglued, thanks to you And it's like snow at the beach Weird but fuckin' beautiful Flying in a dream, stars by the pocketful You wanting me tonight feels impossible

7. Better Than Anyone // Mary Beth Maziarz

For weeks I've been crying too much Ditched my zoloft, still won't be touched By the world moving by, Christmas lights Can you believe it, already again, (I know you can, cause) You know me better than anyone Anyone, ever so far You show me things that I never see Thanks for completing me. . . the way that you do (the way that you do)

8. Christmas Lights // Coldplay

Those Christmas lights Light up the street Maybe they'll bring her back to me And then all my troubles will be gone Oh, Christmas lights keep shining on

9. Pick Up Where We Left Off // Upsahl

We've been through the highs and lows Through the fires and the smoke Only ones that don't let go (Oh, yeah) I could hold in the palm of my hand Yeah, we're dancing in the laugher, swingin' from the rafters Life is moving fast, wonder where it goes Drinking after midnight, I know all your white lies You know I'll still laugh at all your bad jokes Cause it feels like no time's been lost When we pick up where we left off (Ah-ah)

10. Thank God It's Christmas // Queen

Oh, my love, we've had our share of tears Oh, my friends, we've had our hopes and fears Oh, my friends, it's been a long hard year But now it's Christmas Yes, it's Christmas Thank God it's Christmas The moon and stars seem awful cold and bright Let's hope the snow will make this Christmas right

11. Invisible // Zara Larsson

How many nights do you lie awake In the darkest place? How many days do you shed the pain Of your darker days? All I know is If happy lives a mile away A couple steps is all it takes If kindness lives in everyone Then all it takes is standing up Can't touch it, see it But you can always feel it

12. Christmas Is Going To The Dogs // Eels

Well, Christmas is going to the dogs We'd rather have chew toys than Yule logs And things aren't looking very good, it's true So I'll just lay here and chew

13. We're The Lucky Ones // The Marías

I can't wait for Christmas We'll be happier than we have I can't wait for Christmas We'll laugh and we'll dance and we'll cry We've come this far With beating hearts We're the lucky ones, ah-ah

14. Brightest Star // Chris Isaak

I saw a star above the clouds It was the brightest one And I have just begun to understand you You give me reason to believe And though I've doubted you You always see me through I would owe to you Your love

15. Little Things // ABBA

Little things Like your naughty eyes You'd consider bringing me a breakfast tray But there's a price Little things Like that happy noise As a brand new day is dawning On this lovely Christmas morning

16. Song For a Winter's Night // Sarah McLachlan

The lamp is burnin' low upon my table top The snow is softly falling The air is still in the silence of my room I hear your voice softly calling If I could only have you near To breathe a sigh or two I would be happy just to hold the hands I love On this winter night with you

17. Fool's Gold // Lucy Dacus

He'll blame the alcohol And you'll blame the full moon She'll blame the fall of man But I blame the part of you That can't let up on the reigns You've got life in a chokehold You say that it's all the same All glittering fool's gold

18. Happy Xmas (War is Over) // John Lennon

A very Merry Christmas And a happy New Year Let's hope it's a good one Without any fear War is over, if you want it War is over now

#wolfstar #playlist #remus lupin #sirius black #marauders #Spotify

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heystephen · 1 month

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Midnights was the second to last album in the ranking so it’s the second to last to be posted!

Midnights tracks as ranked by the fandom:

Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve

You’re on your own, kid

Hits Different

Maroon

The Great War

You’re Losing Me

Dear Reader

Midnight Rain

Anti-Hero

Mastermind

Lavender Haze

Sweet Nothing

Bejeweled

High Infidelity

Karma

Paris

Question…?

Vigilante Shit + Glitch (tie)

Snow On The Beach ft. Lana Del Rey + Bigger Than The Whole Sky (tie)

Snow On The Beach ft. more Lana Del Rey

Karma ft. Ice Spice

So I was actually wrong when I originally said thanK you aIMee is the lowest voted song.. it looks like Karma ft. Ice Spice only has one entry to it’s name. Midnights has kept the same top 3 and bottom track, and remains pretty much ranked the same all the way through as it did last year. I do demand justice for Glitch though.

#swiftsurvey24*

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tourturedfolkloredepartment · 6 months

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Will being a Lana del rey girlie make so much since like he’s mentally unstable and sad all the time sometimes he’ll sit in the dark like this “👁️👄👁️” listening to summertime sadness or snow on the beach (ft more lana).

#hannibal #will graham #lana del rey #nbc hannibal #Will is the original sad girl #he created sad girl fall #jack worries about him #but when does he not

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craftyalmondghostflap · 1 year

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My newest obsession is Culpa Mia (My Fault)

my sister made me watch My Fault (Culpa Mia) like 4 days ago, i immediately obsessed over it, watched again with a friend, downloaded the book and devoured it in two days. My entire explore/ for you page on insta is filled with edits from the movie... It's just the gift that keeps pn giving

Only problem? Only the first book has been translated in English, and i only know 5 Spanish words from Duolingo ( but José drinks water is not much help here)

I tried to bribe my dad into reading/ translating for me out loud (he knows spanish) . He said no. So now i need to wait for the rest of the series to be translated and/ or for more movies to be made.

I. Am. Obsessed.

Also, i think that Nick Leister is sooo Lana Del Rey coded. Then by the end I'm getting some snow on the beach (ft. More LDR ) vibes...

#culpa mia #mercedes ron #my fault #nick leister

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waynes-multiverse · 2 years

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On The Beach

Pairing: Dean Winchester x F!Reader

Summary: A few moons ago, on a hunt like any other, Dean unexpectedly met a girl who not only spun his head around in the blink of a literal eye but also made the brave hunter face some of his biggest fears to date.

Warnings: light language (very tame for me), a bit of emotional angst & grumpy Dean, fluff ❄️

Word Count: 3.1k

A/N: Another day, another fic to a Swift song 🙃 The first draft had a very dark, unhappy ending, but I couldn’t bring myself to hurt those two precious babes, so enjoy some pure fluff, my loves! 💚🌌 Inspired by: Snow On The Beach by Taylor Swift ft. Lana Del Rey

Dean Winchester Masterlist || Main Masterlist

It’s a night like any other as Y/N closes down her flower shop in the small coastal town. She stores away a few leftover arrangements, counts the cash in the register, organizes the ribbons by color and width, and waters and prunes all the remaining plants in the greenhouse.

The winter weather ravages outside, bringing freezing December winds with the usual salty sea breeze as she smells the arriving snow in the air, the first one this season, and wraps her coat a little tighter around her body, snuggling her cheeks into her cozy wool scarf. It’s already black as night, the crescent moon standing high above the ocean, when she locks the shop behind her and starts her usual walk home, her house only four blocks up the road.

The street lamps pale in comparison to the cheerily decorated yards and roofs of her neighbors before the headlights of a classic black car blind her periphery as it passes by her, soon disappearing with a rumble around the corner again.

“Brrr, it’s freezing cold, man,” Dean grumbles into his jacket and removes his palms from the steering wheel for a second. He cups them around his mouth to warm them with his hot breath before turning the heat up in the Impala even more.

“I’m fine,” Sam nonchalantly shrugs next to him in a fucking t-shirt. He removed the flannel an hour ago and discarded it on the backseat.

“Yeah, ‘cause you’re not human. Freak,” Dean scoffs under his breath and shakes his head, making the younger Winchester chuckle. “Why did you drag me all the way to Rhode Island in the middle of December, man? We could be at home in the bunker, slurping egg nog and watching Die Hard instead of freezing our asses off. Stupid haunted lighthouse…”

“Dude! Can you stop complaining for five seconds, maybe? You’ve been grumpy since we passed Philly. What’s up with you?” Sam throws him a concerned puppy dog look, which only annoys Dean more.

“Nothing, I’m fine. I just hate the beach and the cold and lighthouses–,” Dean mutters, his fingers turning blue around the steering wheel.

Sam’s head snaps to him with a creased brow, “Lighthouses?”

“–and the ocean…”

“Yeah, uh, that usually comes with the beach and the lighthouses, Dean,” the younger Winchester laughs, amused.

“Yeah, whatever, man,” Dean lets out a deep sigh, his brow woven into a permanent scowl at this point. “What’s the address of the girl that witnessed the last death again?”

“Uh, Y/N Y/L/N. Lives at 302 Maplewood Street,” Sam reads from the neatly organized files in his lap. “Just take a left at the next corner.”

“Great,” Dean mumbles dreadfully and makes a left turn onto the target street.

No matter how hard he rummages through the depths of his soul, the hunter can’t quite pin down his recent moodiness. It’s a feeling of dread, sadness, and anger that just bubbles up in his chest at random times and overtakes his whole body and mind before it disintegrates into thin air again like the ghosts he hunts. And maybe after all this time and all the wars and all the pain, it should be no surprise that he feels a little haunted, too.

Well, let’s be honest. He’s fucking cursed.

The melancholy comes and goes like the ocean waves. It almost seems natural. The ebb and flow of a restless life on the road, the possibility of dying every goddamn day, or worse, the fear of ending up completely alone. I Am Legend is his goddamn nightmare.

A hunter’s life is emotionally abusive, so no wonder he constantly feels down on his luck. Especially on holidays like Christmas, when it’s supposed to be all about joy, love, and family. Not even the jolly twinkling lights of the merrily decorated houses around him can cheer up his gloom as he taps his calloused and beaten knuckles on yet another front door to ruin someone’s life. What is his job even?

Hi, Dean Winchester – professional life-ruiner, cold-blooded killer, and ghostbuster extraordinaire. Pleased to meet you. May I interest you in something horrifying that most likely will cost your life or at least give you intense nightmares you never wished you had?

As the red door of the small stone house, adorned with a beautiful pine wreath, opens, however, a stunning young woman greets him with a blinding smile. Dean’s breath hitches as he stops in his tracks, heart, sense, and time halting with him.

And for the first time in what feels like forever, which for sure as hell is too long, his lips unfreeze and curl into a genuine smile, warmth filling and replacing the empty coldness in his ribcage that has dwelled there for a lifetime.

Y/N watches her boot prints in the sand fade away with the next wave, a pocketful of stars twinkling above her head. She closes her eyes and makes a wish upon the next shooting star, her heart filling with a longing that wraps around her soul like the emerald northern lights she used to see on fishing trips with her father. Green is the color of hope, and green is all she sees, even on dark nights with her eyes closed.

The phone in her coat pocket vibrates and disturbs her trance. Her eyelids flutter open with a smile and a heartbeat full of faith. Sometimes wishes do come true.

“Hey, sweetheart,” Dean chimes through the speaker as soon as she presses the phone to her cold ear under the beanie, the warm, familiar timbre of his deep voice melting her heart like the wax of a burning candle.

“Hey, I miss you. How’s the hunt? Are you and Sam okay?“

Whenever he calls, it’s always the same first question – “Are you alright?”. Because whenever he leaves, she’s always worried, can’t sleep and eat until she knows the answer. So, she takes midnight walks up and down the beach until the phone rings again and soothes the ache in her chest. The impossibility of wanting him right next to her each and every day until her dying breath rips her apart at the seams sometimes, her heart needing more stitches than it should.

Right around a year ago, the Winchester brothers stood on her doorstep like the Christmas present she didn’t ask for. They changed her life in a blink of an eye, made it more magical and simultaneously more horrifying, too. She helped them with a ghost case in town, an old local myth surrounding the rundown lighthouse. Dean heroically saved her life. Then, she moronically saved his and Sam’s. The older hunter yelled at her until he didn’t. Until she kissed him. Until she clasped his freezing palm and led him to the beach. Until she held him till his breathing calmed with the ocean, and they talked till the morning sun came with the first fall of snow.

She hasn’t been the same ever since that night. Neither has he.

“I’m fine. Don’t worry about me,” he assures her with a warm chuckle, causing her heart to leap across states in search of him. “Hunt is over. Sam’s finishing up. What are you up to? Are you out for a walk?”

“Yeah, I’m down at the beach like usual,” she sighs, drawing a pouting line in the sand with the tip of her shoe.

“Figured. It’s a nice night out,” he says, and hearing the casual smile in his voice, she has a hard time keeping the scowl on her face alive as she imagines his cute freckle-dusted dimples.

“Would be nicer if you were here,” she notes hopelessly hopeful before her gaze lifts to the moon over the horizon, her brow furrowing. “Wait… How do you know that? Did you check the weather?”

“Sure did,” it sounds behind her as clear as the star-filled sky above her. Her heart drops, jolts, rejoices at the sight of the hunter that so shamelessly stole it as he stands before her – tall, strong, and gorgeous smile included, like a scene from a romantic movie.

“Oh my God, Dean!”

The beam that lights up her face when she recognizes him reminds the hunter of the picture that hangs on her living room wall – the one that shows her winning smile at her eighth-grade baking contest. A blazing warmth spreads through his chest, his chapped lips not able to deny her a smile, albeit his torn heart and broken mind still don’t fully understand how a gorgeous girl like her could even miss him at all.

The phone in her hand then drops into the wet sand as she falls into his embrace, almost taking both of them down before Dean’s strong arms catch her and steady their feet on the forgiving ground. As soon as she lifts her face from his chest, her sparkling eyes bore into his as her arms unravel from his neck, hands traveling to his scruffy cheeks. Needily, she clasps them and feels their blushed warmth, fingernails denting his skin as she drags his lips to hers in a breathtaking kiss, tongues mingling between teeth.

“Air,” Dean chokes out with a chuckling cough as he pulls back from her, his hot breath still ghosting over her swollen lips as his palms grip her waist tightly and keep her locked in his arms. “I’ve missed you, too, sweetheart,” he assures her with a gentle peck on her forehead and lifts his hand to her face, caressing the soft flush in her cheek as a warm smile curves on his lips. “It’s been too long.”

“Forty-two days,” she reminds him, and Dean loves and hates it all at once that she misses him so goddamn much she always counts the days since she’s last seen him. And while Y/N surely misses him to the moon and back, Dean can guarantee that he misses her infinitely more. “How did you get here so fast? This morning you said you were still in New Mexico.”

“Yeah, well, couldn’t wait a whole day’s drive to see you, so I flew here,” he shrugs coolly but can’t help the grin rising on his cheeks.

“I’m sorry, you what? You took an actual plane? But you hate flying,” she points out with an adorably knitted brow. Dean never technically admitted he was afraid of flying, always told her he didn’t particularly care for it, not wanting to seem like a wuss. “Sam even once said it scares the bejeezus out of you.”

That little…

“Yup, flight was awful, thanks for asking,” Dean quips with an insecurity-overshadowing, too-cool-for-his-own-good grin while he mentally notes down to hit his younger brother over the head later. And as his pine-green eyes soak up her sunshine with a greedy need for happiness, his heart relishes in her love.

Until it doesn’t. Until it feels too goddamn selfish.

The last time he saw Y/N, she told him that she loved him. Loved him. Him. Even after forty-two days, it still hasn’t sunk in. How could it? It sounds insane. More insane than monsters and God’s plan. More insane than his entire life story itself.

Naturally, the hunter couldn’t say anything back. It felt surreal, like a dream he wasn’t supposed to have. It didn’t feel like it was his to take. She didn’t feel like she was his. The shock took his whole body hostage, afraid admitting it would curse her love for him and twist it somehow. Not that she even wanted or expected an answer from him. She already knew everything there was to know – about him, about his life. So, she simply said she wanted him to know that there was someone out there in this big, wide world that loved him and thought of him every day. That’s it.

What’s he supposed to do with that, huh?

But when the hunter left her for the millionth time this year, the real torture began. He could deal with physical pain easily, even thrived in it. He could be torn apart and ripped to shreds a billion times, and he still wouldn’t care. Emotional torture, however, was a different story. He couldn’t take the overthinking, the sleepless nights, the helplessness, the anxiety in his heart, or the choked air in his lungs whenever he thought about her, which was always. She was a constant in his soul, a complex math equation that allowed no variables. She never went anywhere.

She was there when he snuck with Sam through the halls of yet another abandoned warehouse on the hunt for a few vamps. She was there when he thought about doing something stupid and reckless to play the hero instead of doing the smart and right thing. She was there when he washed off the blood in the motel room shower, thinking how he didn’t want to break her heart by not answering her next phone call. She was there when he couldn’t close his eyes at night and stared at the ceiling, imagining how his little brother would have to break the news of his death to her.

And eventually, after forty-two days of torture, of heartache, of longing, the hunter broke. He couldn’t do it anymore.

It gnawed on his heart that he never said it back. Because she deserves to hear it. Because living and breathing without her seem useless. Because having hopes and dreams is worthless if she’s not in any of them. Because she’s the best fucking thing that ever happened to him. Because what the hell is he even fighting for if it’s not all for her. Because all the pros outweigh the biggest con. Because it’s goddamn true.

Dean loves her, too.

As he holds tightly onto her, he breathes into the feeling of having her in his arms, of her head buried deep in his chest, of her arms securely wrapped around his torso. He feels the love for him radiating from her body, feels the safety she offers him, and feels their hearts melting into one through layers of fabric, skin, flesh, and bones. Embracing her is the most magical and otherworldly experience. It’s mind-blowing that he now has someone that he can touch, someone he can drive towards, someone he can see with his own eyes while he’s goddamn awake.

Perhaps, love is not supposed to feel real. It’s intangible, indescribable, and inexplicable, and if you applied all the criteria of reality, love shouldn’t exist at all. But as the first snowflake grazes his cheek, he opens his eyes and watches more white stars falling from the sky and covering the sandy beach under a soft blanket. And suddenly, love comes down all around him like the snow itself.

It’s not some weird, beautiful, unobtainable, and unmaintainable dream. It’s here. It’s now. And it’s her.

“I love you.”

His confession comes out in a blurb that almost could be mistaken for a glitch in his impenetrable matrix. On top of that, he also mumbled it into her hair, but who cares? It has left his heart and definitely reached her ears as Y/N lifts her head from his warm chest, gaze wandering up till it meets his own. He swallows, nerves getting the best of him, which wasn’t a lot, to begin with. And then, her pink lips curve into an amused smile.

“I know.”

He stumps, his eyebrows quirking together so much it almost provokes a headache, which causes her to giggle. “How?”

She locks her arms around his neck and grins, “Guess your actions speak louder than your words, Winchester. Besides, you took a plane for me, even though you almost pooped your pants.”

“I did not almost p–”

His protest is left unfinished, stopped by her lips crashing against his, and he can’t help but toss every clever comeback out the window and kiss her back. There’s another giggle when he hesitantly draws back from her mouth, his thumb caressing the glow in her dimple as he places another peck on her hairline.

“Sweetheart, you know what happens when you kiss me like that.” Well, maybe he still had one clever comeback in reserve.

“Uh-huh,” she laughs cheekily and tip-toes up enough for another kiss on his lips. “I love you, too.”

Dean playfully rolls his eyes and pecks the tip of her cold nose. As if being cute is going to save her tonight. “So what you’re saying is, I worried and went nuts for nothin’ over the last few weeks?”

Y/N shrugs her shoulders, and he would’ve almost bought into her innocence if it weren’t for that little mischievous smile on her lips. “I told you back then you didn’t have to say it.”

He nods and purses his lips. “Yeah, well, some things shouldn’t be left unsaid, y’know?”

And when she gives him another heartwarming smile, it sends him to another planet. His fluster returns because what else is there left to say? He hasn’t exactly planned past this moment, hasn’t even dreamed he’d get this far.

“So, uhm, what’s next? I figured we could go to that maple farm in Vermont you’re always telling me about. Or, uhm, maybe drive north till we see the-, uh, the aurora bor-, uh, thingy.”

“Borealis,” she helps him along, biting her lips very hard to suppress the grin.

“Yup, that. We could see that,” he suggests with the eagerness and excitement of a little boy who found a Lego set under the tree.

“Slow down, tiger,” she chuckles, her fingers playing with the lapels of his jacket. “First, tell me how long I get you for this time before you plan all our time in bed away.”

“Well, uh…” He clears the lump in his throat, and she must’ve noticed his nervousness, because not even a second later, she interlaces her fingers with his and gives him the reassurance he needs to continue. “For-, uhm, forever.”

“What?” His reply has even taken Little-Miss-Know-It-All by surprise as she shakes her confused head for clarity and blinks at him.

“Yeah, uhm, we can talk about the details later, but… I’m all yours now,” Dean smiles and is relieved when she mirrors it before his hand reaches back to scratch his neck. “I mean, for as long as you’ll have me and let me stay with you at least.”

“Well, guess it’s forever then,” Y/N replies, tongue-in-cheek. “How about some hot cocoa and cheesy Christmas movies first before we make vacation plans over a super greasy breakfast tomorrow, huh?”

“A woman after my own heart,” the hunter beams and preciously kisses her temple. He interlaces his fingers with hers before leading them home through the glistening white sand, the snow falling down around them.

To think I almost killed her... 🤣 --> ALTERNATE ENDING

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