#snowbaz incorrect quotes

[ddanthedumbass]

Baz: I hate everyone.

Simon: Except me, right?

Baz: Especially you.

[sacred-algae]

Adapted from a discord texting rp with @emerson-loki96 as Baz and me as Simon

It’s become a running joke with us… because a few months later…

Enjoy the chaos of our headcanon

[devorafetos]

Simon Snow Incorrect Quotes

Baz: Is something burning? Simon: Just my love for you. Baz: Simon, the toaster is on fire.

Baz: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds. Simon: FORTY FIVE SECONDS?!? Baz: No! Four to five seconds! Simon: Too late!!!

(Simon in fifth year)

Baz: So are we flirting right now? Simon: I AM LITERALLY STABBING YOU Baz: That doesn’t answer my question

Baz: Date someone who will drag you outside at 3am to look at the stars. Simon: If anyone, and I mean anyone, wakes me up at 3am to go look at the damn sky they will be removed indefinitely from my life.

Baz: Remember when you didn't try to solve all your problems with attempted murder? Simon: Stop romanticizing the past.

Baz: Walking in to a room Sorry I’m late… I was… doing things. Sounds of running footsteps progressively getting louder Simon: Out of breath HE PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKIN’ STAIRS.

[fics-and-quotes-andthelike]

Basilton Grimm-Pitch: Simon, I beg of you. Please, PLEASE go to the doctor.

Simon Snow: Hey, I'm sorry. Is this OUR stab wound?

[justanotherhamiltrash]

Baz: I wish people would stop asking me if I'm a vampire. Obviously not. I have blood.

Simon: But is it your blood?

Baz: It is blood, yes.

[that-disabled-princess]

Simon: "You're all IDIOTS"

Baz: :(

Simon: "Not you, babe <3"

Baz: :D

[diznam]

(he secretly loves it)(baz, that is)

[babbleduck]

Penny: TYRANNUS BASILTON GRIMM-PITCH GET DOWN FROM THE FRIDGE THIS INSTANT!

Baz: *hisses*

[zirafalling]

Simon: the mage really hates us huh?

Baz: yeah, maybe he's homophobic

Simon: we're not gay tho

Baz: we're not?

[m1nyrds]

Baz: I’m not being dramatic when I say I rather sit on a hot grill than wear something off the rack

Simon: Baz, just put on the fucking shirt

[fleursowl]

Penny: So, are you the big or little spoon?

Baz: I’m a knife.

Simon: He’s the little spoon.

[itsthefunkypangwang]

Baz and Penny staring at Simon who just managed to extinguish the broom that caught fire, drop 3 pots on the ground, AND burn lunch...

Penny: So... no lunch?

Simon: Don't worry guys. I got this!

Baz: We've been watching you for 15 minutes. You've got nothing.

Simon: Fine then, Baz! Make your own lunch.

Baz: Well, it looks like I'm one step ahead of you.

Baz: *shows bag of takeout*

Penelope: You knew this was gonna happen?

Baz: Duh. It's Simon.

Simon: How are you always prepared in times of crisis?!

Baz: *slicking back hair and smirking* It's one of my many attractive and charming qualities. You jus-

Baz: Uh, Simon? Where are you?

Simon: *sitting on a beanbag with mouth full of takeout* Behinb yoo.

Baz: How did you get there so fast?

Simon: *trying to slick back hair and smirking like a dork* I too have many attractive and charming qualities.

[devorafetos]

Snowbaz incorrect quotes pt2!!

Baz: You love me, right, Simon? Simon: Normally, I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don’t like it.

Baz: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you. Simon: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule. Baz: Absolutely not.

Baz: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait. Simon: You and me!!! Baz, tearing up: Okay.

Baz, pointing: May I sit there? Simon: That's my lap Baz: That doesn't answer my question, Simon.

Baz: I'm 10 times funnier and sexier than you Simon: 10 times 0 is still 0 though Baz: Jokes on you, I can't do math (Idk why this gave me vibes)

Baz: I was thinking I'd do some magic- Simon: You? Magic? Baz, it says talent show.

Baz: How petty can you get? Simon: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.

[catesfolklore]

Simon: *throws pebbles at Baz's window*

Baz, yelling: You have a phone for a reason!

Simon: *throws his phone at the window*

Baz: FOR FUCKS SAKE SNOW

[justanotherhamiltrash]

Simon, about Baz: He's plotting!

Penny, who knows about Simon's feelings: You keep using that word.

Penny: I do not think it means what you think it means.

[carpem-die]

baz: so I'll start by introducing myself. I'm-

simon: *enters the room*

baz:

baz: very gay and very single