#so I feel like Guillermo a lot haha

[gui1lermodelacruz]

(Ι owe starters/replies, but since work and anxiety are not my friends right now, like this so I can send you memes? ramble in the tags)

[cookinguptales]

I was reading your latest meta and it got me thinking, mostly the part about how Guillermo's trigger is being undervalued and I agree but also I think he takes Nandor's shit because he knows Nandor actually values him. Like in seasons 1 and 2 there are times when he thinks about killing him, but all starts to change when Nandor saves him from Topher and then Guillermo's like now I know my master cares for me. I think Nandor was very loving by vampire standards from the start, he's just a little better at showing it now, but the big change is not his behaviour, it's that Guillermo is aware that Nandor cares. The bit in 5x01 about the cute montage or even his smile at the cinema proves it. Like we're supposed to think haha he's delusional how funny, but he's not actually, he knows Nandor loves him even when he laughs at him or is being rude. And while Guillermo has gotten more and more secure in the knowledge of how Nandor truly feels, Nandor doesn't have that... at all. If anything each season gives him more reasons to fear abandonmet, there was always the risk of Guillermo leaving and now there's this new fear of him staying and still not being there for him emotionally. The turning is just the icing on the cake. I think to fix things and to make it work between them eventually Guillermo will need to prove to Nandor that he lives him for him and that he doesn't want to leave him ever. I'm not saying marrying Guillermo will fix Nandor, but I'm not not saying it lol

*looks at her entire body of work on ao3* yes, these are subjects I also think about a lot. lmao

No, you're right, these are things I really love about the show. Like I was saying in that meta post, you really do have to look at Nandor's actions through the lens of vampiric norms. Nandor absolutely does not treat Guillermo well by human standards, but by vampire standards... he's downright eccentric, how into his familiar he is. That comes up a lot, actually. Other vampires are weirded out by how devoted Nandor is to Guillermo.

I mean, just look at how we've seen other vampires treat their familiars, including even other vampires in the same house. They're completely disposable. They have them fight like pokemon. They put them down when they get a hangnail. They keep them in dog cages. They've completely dehumanized familiars because they are glorified food.

Like... maybe even worse than food? Like maybe tainted food. Vampires regularly fall for (and turn) humans, but there's such a distaste for familiars. At least other humans are free, y'know? They don't debase themselves the way familiars do. I think that's what disgusts the vampires far more than familiars' intrinsic humanity. It's the servility. The willingness to sacrifice their own. (Vampire shall not kill vampire, etc.) The fact that they take orders, something that most vampires clearly chafe against.

(Side note: it's so interesting that Guillermo, who clearly wants to be a vampire so he is no longer constrained by social norms, has willingly taken on a role that's even more constrained and submissive for years. That's a whole meta post in and of itself, though.)

But despite the blatant disrespect that vampires have for familiars, the open manipulation they use to keep them in line, the total dehumanization they engage in... Nandor doesn't. He protects his familiar. He plays one-on-one games with his familiar. He confides in his familiar. He does what his familiar says, partially to make him happy and partially because he is willing to acknowledge that his familiar is often right. These are all totally foreign behaviors to most other vampires.

Guillermo does come off as delusional at the beginning of the series, but we quickly realize that he's not wrong. Nandor was willing to sacrifice his life (and the lives of the other vampires) to save Guillermo at the Council. He did apologize to Guillermo and try to make it up to him after letting him down at the club. He did save Guillermo from Topher, even if he wasn't emotionally capable of admitting why. Guillermo was right.

Guillermo, we come to realize, actually knows these vampires better than literally anyone. And that's part of why he's been rewarded with a very strange relationship, for a familiar. It's also why he can see through Nandor's surface shittiness to what lies beneath. (Which is occasionally more shittiness, but is often something much softer.) You're right, his smile at the movies really did speak volumes. He knew why he was there, even if Nandor was being a crab at him.

The only thing he doesn't seem to get about Nandor is how easily he can hurt him. I think he's finally, finally starting to understand how much power Nandor has given him. Like... I remember when Nandor went off to join the cult and Guillermo was like "I guess now I know how it feels." He genuinely had not considered up until that moment how badly it had hurt Nandor when he'd left him. He hadn't considered that he had that power over him.

But I think Guillermo gets it now more fully than he ever has in the past, and I think he'll only get it even more by the end of this season. He knows that Nandor has abandonment issues, but he's never seen the way those issues are attached to him specifically. Nandor always plays it off like he didn't miss Guillermo when he was gone, and Guillermo used to believe him. But he's finally seeing how fucking weird Nandor gets when he's worried about Guillermo leaving him. He started to see it in s4, with the wedding stuff, but he's really seeing it now.

Nandor is upset. He's upset purely and only because he thinks Guillermo doesn't want to be with him anymore. And Guillermo really can't ignore that anymore -- and isn't, for that matter. It's really killing him, I think, to finally realize just how much he means to Nandor right after doing something that will damage their relationship, perhaps irreparably. He's finally putting all the pieces together and realizing that even he didn't see how much he means to Nandor.

Nadja and Laszlo, however, know just how fucking weird Nandor's behavior towards Guillermo is and always has been. They know exactly what Guillermo means to him, though they're a little fuzzier on why. (Though thankfully, they are also starting to see the light.) So they understood immediately what the consequences of all this would be.

I do think that Nandor mostly just needs irrefutable proof that Guillermo wants to be with him. He has been damaged by all the times that people have left him in the past, and he's been even more damaged by all the times Guillermo has left him in the past. I do think a large part of why he won't turn Guillermo is because he's afraid that he'll leave once he no longer needs anything from him. I do think that's why he has such weird, unhinged, possessive behavior towards Guillermo's attention. I do think that's why he concocted an entire fucking wedding.

I don't know that marrying Guillermo would completely assuage his fears, especially considering the way that all of Nandor's past marriages have ended, but it sure wouldn't hurt. lmao. I think Nandor probably wants to be the wife this time, too.

I think he just needs something real and tangible that will make him believe fully that Guillermo will never, ever leave him. And hell, who knows? Maybe that'll be Guillermo being turned, knowing that Nandor might kill him for it, and still sticking around.

[jack-fruit]

Ok aside from the obvious “haha Nandor is a hypocrite and also still kind of a dick to Guillermo” joke I genuinely think the end credits movie date says a lot about how like. Genuinely comfortable Nandor feels around Guillermo yknow??

Cause when you are just starting out being friends with someone and you’re in that “get to know you” stage of a friendship, obviously your first instinct is to talk to them and get to know them. Typically in that stage, silences are awkward at best and nerve wracking at worst, so it makes sense Nandor wants to talk with Alexander. He wants to form this strong bond so he can show Guillermo how much he totally doesn’t miss him and in his desperation he obviously comes on a bit too strongly. Him getting a shit ton of popcorn, while also being funny, is another hint of this. Whether it be he bought it for Alexander to appease him or to just kind of give the illusion of “yes I am a human person enjoying a human film look I am eating this popcorn” is kinda up in the air, but I personally lean towards the second one. Either way though, the popcorn is ahem “purchased” in an attempt to appease.

In contrast though, when he’s with Guillermo Nandor is able to fully relax. He already knows Guillermo fairly well, so there’s no pressure to hurriedly try and get to know him and form a bond- the bond is already there. He doesn’t need to pretend to buy popcorn or pretend to eat it, Guillermo knows why he can’t. In this situation, where they’re already so close, it means silence between them is comfortable instead of nerve wracking, and that means Nandor can fully focus his attention on actually watching the movie. And of course, he never has a problem telling Guillermo when he does something he doesn’t like, so him telling him to shut up isn’t that surprising either. Still, not sure he would use that tone with a stranger he was attempting to befriend

Anyway I’m rotating it in my brain. I cannot wait for Nandor jealousy arc to really kick in

[22degreehalo]

aaaaand FINALLY I've finished writing up my next few recs for the Summer @ficreadingchallenge :'DDD Most of these I read weeks ago when I was especially tired and just wanted to lie down and listen to some podfics, as you'll see below~ But I'm still going! I got sooo close to finishing a line this time (and I WOULD HAVE if I hadn't swapped around the squares for some of these hahaha) and if possible I want to complete a full blackout! n.n

A couple of prompt-related rambles: 'Enemies to Friends / Lovers' is highlighted buuut I actually later decided to use that fic for 'Future AU' so. Oh well :') I also swapped a fic from Domestic to Gift Giving even though gifts aren't the main focus because I was having trouble with that square and the gifts ARE still a pretty big part of the fic so??? who cares hahaha. Also somehow I've gotten this far using a different pairing for every single square and I was absolutely tempted to try to continue that, and am knocking myself out of it because I just want to encourage myself to read fic, not force myself into a pretzel trying to track down rarepair fics that SHOULD exist SOMEWHERE......

New recs below!! :D

Canon Compliant

after knowing all, I wonder, can you really say innocent? By Aialize (15.5k, ongoing, Milgram gen)

This is a super fascinating fic and a great example of one of my favourite genres: crack treated seriously! In this one, the music videos exist in-universe and the prisoners (plus Es) will watch them all, reacting and responding in-character. I love how committed the author is to this premise: some of the characters would rather forget all this stuff is even happening, while others (most notably Kotoko) fully intend to learn all they can about the other prisoners from them. It’s still early days, but I can’t wait to see how they all react differently, and what (correct or incorrect!) conclusions they come to! (Also, maybe it seems strange to use an AU fic for the tag ‘Canon Compliant’, but the fic is sticking to the canonically-chosen verdicts which is why it counts!)

Fic With No Comments Yet

messin’ up my mind by Skyrose – a podfic by CailynWrites (5k, 33:47, Percy/Oliver)

Choosing podfics for the ‘No Comments Yet’ category almost feels like cheating heh, but these very important fan works deserve just as much love!!! This is an adorable fic: stories where the characters’ friends/family ‘ship them’ can be corny and OOC, but I love that Fred and George initially just want to give Oliver something to care about other than Quidditch training, and have no clue the cogs they started working in Oliver’s head until they’re ready for that last push. And I love Oliver and Percy’s relationship: not quite close, comfortable friends, but more like very different people who’ve spent a lot of time together and never quite taken the plunge in becoming fixtures of one another’s life – yet. <3

Hurt/Comfort

The Care and Feeding of a Deeply Depressed Vampire [Podfic] by secretsofluftnarp, read by Pandamug (2.8k, 21:16, Nandor/Guillermo

Fics that perfectly capture the absurd black humour of this show are always a treat and this fic is no exception! One of the tags is ‘canon-typical sex talk’ and hoo BOY is that accurate haha, but beneath the characteristic horniness and always-at-least-mild insufferability, Nandor really is just a pathetic sad little vampire, and the degree of care Guillermo has for him – and how much Nandor trusts him in return – is so sweet!

BIPOC Character

[Podfic] The Benefits of Communication written by ushauz, voiced by GodOfLaundryBaskets (3.2k, 27:27, Wyll/Astarion)

I’m still dipping my toes into Wyll/Astarion fanfic, but this was a very nice introduction!! Despite focusing on Astarion’s trauma around sex, it also gets a bit into Wyll’s complicated relationship with it as well, in a way that totally makes sense for them! I can 100% see these two dumbasses having a miscommunication like this, doing something they both don’t like just because they think it’ll make the other happy :’D

Future AU

Recognition by SaraJaye (2k, N/Hilbert)

This is such a sweet fic, and I can totally imagine these two’s relationship going this way post-canon!! By the end of the game they’d both need some time before they’d really be ready to be in a relationship, and though short I totally love how the friendship builds enough here for them to do that! <3

Gift Giving

Tinsel by Lunar_Years (17.5k, Roy/Jamie/Keeley)

I absolutely love and 100% recommend this entire series of RJK fics – they capture the characters and their relationship absolutely perfectly, and the familial interactions ring so true! I particularly loved Roy’s complicated relationship to the holidays; feeling troubled by his own lack of enthusiasm towards what should be ‘his’ celebrations, and only realising in retrospect that he really had enjoyed his time taking part in it all with his partners. Despite being longer than all the other fics I’ve recced here so far, the time absolutely blazed by, because it all flowed so smoothly and once I started reading I didn’t want to stop! <3

Time Travel

Catalyst [podfic] by TheStarvingWriter, read by RavenGranger11 (2.5k, 19:53, Dean/Castiel)

This fic packs in so much for its length! It’s wonderfully atmospheric between the dingy motel room and young Dean’s insecurity and longing, and from the moment Cas steps in his fondness and familiarity for Dean shines right through <3

Time Loop

& home & home & home (or, a timeloop) by decemberista - a Podfic read by Beatificbean (3.1k/20:09, Remus/Sirius)

Ugh, this fic hits so hard. :( With its succinct writing we really get a sense of how hard Sirius tries, over and over, to save everyone. It’s almost like poetry – especially at the end, which really made me cry!! ;__;

[sidsthekid]

9 people you’d like to get to know better

thanks for the tag @yabagofmilfs and @zhenya4sid !!! <3

List 3 ships you like: just 3? dern. sidnate, natejo and ... i've been thinking about cale and ej a lot. the rookie and vet trope persists in me, body and soul. but obviously my list of ships stretches way beyond the ones listed.

First ship ever: oh maaan. i think it was kpop-related. all my first ships were when i delved into fandom by way of asianfanfiction dot net

Last song you heard: agora hills by doja cat. something about it makes me feel very nice and hot when i workout! like i could rule the world!

Favorite childhood book: there were...a lot, HAHA. percy jackson, hunger games series... and i know it's not technically a 'book' but i adored the sailor moon comics. the art is so beautiful and i'd always daydream about looking like sailor mars cause we both had black hair and i thought she was so pretty.

Currently reading: so i was reading the crossing by cormac mccarthy because i really liked all the pretty horses but then work got crazy and i haven't been able to pick it up. i want to finish the series, though!

Currently watching: the bear (again). i was also re-watching some episodes of what we do in the shadows because i saw renfield on a plane and it made me miss my dear guillermo!!

Currently consuming: an orange creamsicle bar :):)

Currently craving: a chocolate silk pie. i've been wanting a slice so fuckin bad

tagging (and no obligation to do!! this is just for fun): @yippayappa@puckingembarrassing @thekookster @dadvans @annieqattheperipheral @behindallthings @blackholesun @rustasche @diningchairs

[altospaceangel]

After seeing it all over my dash for years, I will be watching “What We Do In The Shadows” for the first time!

Things I know

1) Goofy vampires failing to blend in to society

2) Why are they Russian?

3) They wear a lot of furs (Or maybe just Nandor?)

4) Guillermo becomes awesome

5) Nandor is hilarious

6) Nadia seems hilarious too (Natasha? Is her name Nydia?)

7) Guillermo and Nandor start out as servant/master but end up a couple I think???

8) “The Superb Owl”

9) I know Nandor has a goofy alter ego who he thinks is normal with a name like “Johnny Magnificent” or something like that

10) “New York CITAY” (that’s Nandor, right?)

11) There’s a normal bald guy in a sweater, I’m unsure how he fits into any of this? He reminds me of Toby from “The Office” so I already feel bad for him

12) Also I could have sworn there was a movie too, but I’m not finding it, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The tag for my liveblogging and WWDITS related posts will be #altowwdits if any followers want to mute it or any vampire fans want to watch me go into this blind haha

[outeremissary]

Top 5 angel or angel-adjacent characters?

OKAY so this was delayed by my computer restarting against my will and destroying the draft. It's okay :') I feel like my list is probably going to be lamer than expected anyway, haha. I suspect this will be a very lame list as well... the shameful fact is for all the time I spend looking at illustrations with angelic motifs, I don't spend much time with angelic characters in stories.

Tristian (Pathfinder: Kingmaker)

This game has some kind of malign influence on my life.

2. Gabriel (Constantine)

I don't think Constantine is a good movie and I did not enjoy rewatching it as an adult. It turns out the reason I remembered it as being a bit befuddling when watched as a child (I think I caught the back half on tv once?) is because it's just not very good. But do you know what was even better than the pristine memory burned into my mind? Gabriel. Gabriel. Gabriel is so unspeakably perfect on screen. So soft and imposing. So lethal and forceful. Beautiful when in that prim and proper suit, and a vision as a white clad warrior! That twisted philosophy of making humanity "worthy" of love... this had some kind of profound impact on my developing brain, I fear. As a side note, I think there aren't a whole lot of feathery wings that look good in live action stuff, but Gabriel's are actually pretty solid! It probably helps that they're not onscreen much, and not generally static when they are.

3. Angel of Death (Hellboy II: The Golden Army)

I'll be real with you, I remember borderline nothing about Hellboy II, which I last watched when I was 9. But do you know what I remember? The Angel of Death. I remember the Angel of Death so vividly that when my ex had proposed we watch Hellboy I got Really Excited about seeing the Angel of Death and finally getting some context on that vague memory. And do you know what happened? The Angel of Death isn't in the first movie! Betrayed! Bamboozled! And for the rest of the night my ex kept calling me an angelfucker because I was so vocally disappointed.

4. Satan (Devilman)

I'll be real with you, I absolutely saw Crybaby before any other Devilman related thing and this is ummm. Not insignificantly influenced by my feelings about long haired Satan. Anyway. I love a good Satan. Everyone loves a good Satan. I love the deep commitment Satan has to his/their chosen people (the demons) and how desperately he/they works to preserve them. I'm also a huge sucker for a good pyrrhic victory, so what I'm really hooked on is the sincere, pure affection that Satan then develops for one special human who refuses to be taken in and sheltered and protected and saved from the annihilation of humanity. The ultimate symbol of Satan's victory is the destruction of that precious connection, and that's all it takes to make it all feel like it was for nothing. What a pure heart! And then there's all the time loop stuff as well, which is Spicy

Anyway, all Satans are valid but I'm only including one pic, so enjoy long haired Satan.

5. The Wood Sprite (Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio)

This is mostly an aesthetic pick... the truth is that as a character I liked Death better. But like. What an aesthetic. Is it cheating to pick two del Toro designs? I resisted the temptation to add Death as well!

Still, it feels a more substantial choice is needed. Thus, I cheat:

5. 82 White Chain Born in Emptiness Returns to Subdue Evil (Kill Six Billion Demons)

White Chain is a fantastic character with a substantial character arc dripping with ye olde trans allegory (we love a good trans angel in this house). She struggles throughout the series with the conflict between what she understands to be her duty as an angel upholding cosmic law and her compassion for mortals and desire to protect them. Already an outcast among her peers, she fears further alienation. Her form has also been becoming steadily more human-like: messy, complicated proof of connection she's desperate to deny and her superiors wish to stamp out. Her struggle to grow into her own identity is one of my favorite side character arcs in the comic.

4. Satan (Devilman)

I'll be real with you, I absolutely saw Crybaby before any other Devilman related thing and this is ummm. Not insignificantly influenced by my feelings about long haired Satan. Anyway. I love a good Satan. Everyone loves a good Satan. I love the deep commitment Satan has to his/their chosen people (the demons) and how desperately he/they works to preserve them. I'm also a huge sucker for a good pyrrhic victory, so what I'm really hooked on is the sincere, pure affection that Satan then develops for one special human who refuses to be taken in and sheltered and protected and saved from the annihilation of humanity. The ultimate symbol of Satan's victory is the destruction of that precious connection, and that's all it takes to make it all feel like it was for nothing. What a pure heart! And then there's all the time loop stuff as well. Who doesn't love being eternally trapped in a purgatory of realizing one's mistakes just a little too late to avert them.

Anyway, all Satans are valid but I'm only including one pic, so enjoy long haired Satan.

Honorary mention purely so I can add pictures of her: Eniale

Comedy isn't really my favorite genre, so I didn't expect much of Eniale & Dewiela. But the characters certainly have a lot of charm, and Kamome Shirahama's breathtaking art does a lot to make every moment feel special in a very light hearted series. I have a very strong fondness for Eniale. She's just a little goofball. She's a terrible angel and doesn't work even half as hard as her demonic counterpart (and self-consciously notes that she's far less powerful). She means so well, but she's shallow, airheaded, and selfish, and just tends to cause as many problems as she solves. Despite that, she's incredibly sincere and passionate when it counts. I really love that. She's just a goofy lil scamp! She's a goofy lil scamp and she makes me smile. Also here are some pictures of her.

[wellntruly]

M*A*S*H - Viewguide, S5

Are you interested in the long-running anti-war situation tragicomedy M*A*S*H (1972-1983), but there are simply so many asterisks and so many episodes?

Well I can’t help you with the asterisks, but nor can I help myself: I started watching all 11 seasons of M*A*S*H, and bringing back for you my viewing selections, chosen for The Qualities.

— — —

This season overall I'd say feels kind of, mild? Less low lows and less high highs. Just middley. I nearly included one episode almost wholly for the appeal of being maybe 75% set at night (something I would do), and secondly for the appeal of Hawkeye sleepwalking, when he's not waking from nightmares. But it's very I'll say "Season 5" in that despite this, it's just, I don't know somehow milder than I might want, especially when this set-up naturally recalls the much odder and eerier 'Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde' from Season 2, with (and possibly even because of) its spikier swings between the antic and traumatic.

But it happened that a lot of the stronger stuff here lent itself to putting together something of a more focused character collection. So welcome to our Special Issue!, highlighting the previously maybe somewhat under-served Major Margaret Houlihan, and Captain BJ Hunnicutt:

M*A*S*H - Season 5 Recommended sequence

5x03 ‘Margaret’s Engagement’ - So fun to me that Margaret & Frank transitioning from “secret” lovers to “secret” exes is somehow the exact same mood while having the opposite content. Ending comes out of nowhere and on a pretty weak joke, but when it's just Hawkeye & BJ lounging on each other on Margaret’s bed as she hops around showing them her goofy little engagement ring, that’s the Margaret & The Boys ‘Silly Mood’ vibes I've been missing, baby. Loretta Swit is back!

5x06 ’The Nurses’ - This one made me cry??? It was written and directed by women. It’s about women having complex relationships with each other. Bechdel Test smashed, only took us four seasons! 

5x08 ‘Dear Sigmund’ - It's the context here that really has me like, haha totally. This is the first episode they’ve let Alan Alda write all himself in three calendar seasons, and he's like great, okay: can I just get down nothing but a bunch of character meta and headcanons for everyone and put that up as TV? Yeah Victor Hugo that sounds wild, please do.

5x09 ‘Mulcahy’s War’ - Father Mulcahy goes out to the front to experience the horrors (more), but amazingly the real reason I'm including this one is that Gary Burghoff’s distressed little straight man hilarity here made me laugh so, so much, and then have a staggering realization: the character of Radar O'Reilly is absolutely the progenitor of Guillermo de la Cruz.

5x10 ‘The Korean Surgeon’ - Would be worth it for Hawkeye & BJ talking to Radar in the mess tent ALONE (Gary Emmy-winning year). But also I love their kind weary surgeon friend from ~the other side~

5x15 ‘The Most Unforgettable Characters’ - At 10 minutes in I'd thought, alright this is probably just another middle sort of one, and then at 10 minutes and 30 seconds, BJ (BJ, baby??!) spontaneously proposes that he and Hawkeye spend the rest of the episode play-acting that they're fighting to entertain Frank for his birthday, inspiring Barbara Kruger four years later to go, y'know what, I'm gonna have to comment on this.

5x19 ‘Hanky Panky’ - You tell me “BJ episode where he cheats on his wife,” and I’m going to say, “hm well that’s not the kind of character development I think I want,” but I would be wrong about that! A) love her, she's great in this, B) there is one particular revelation BJ shares here that is just, exquisite information. I will say no more at this juncture (Watch Notes: Coming soon!), but in light of oh, a lot: oh my god.

5x25 ‘Margaret’s Marriage’ - Let’s bookend this! One thing I love about long episodic seasons, is that after Margaret somehow ever more hilariously saying the name ‘Lieutenant Colonel Donald Penobscott’ for 22 episodes, the man finally appearing felt like forbidden Beckett. 

And also now say bye-bye, Frank [chorus: bye-bye, Frank!]

Season 1 • Season 2 • Season 3 • Season 4 • Season 5 • To be continued

#M*A*S*H hours

[sirenemale]

9 10 13 for the horror asks?

9 ) favorite slasher(s)

Her. I haven't gotten to a lot of slashers but megan was a hysterical film I really enjoyed and I think she's DEEPLY iconic. Her fits? the energy, the attitude. Absolutely. ABSOLUTELY.

10 ) favorite final girl(s)

Ripley it's Ripley. It's Ripley. It's Eleanor Ripley.

13 ) a movie you related to or felt strongly drawn to the most

Pretty predictable but Devilman the birth and Devilman demon bird. Idk what it is about Devilman, ik Go nagai's work is pretty full of exploitation it was kind of his thing and Devilman isn't free from it. Visually it's a combination of everything I really like. I'm really endeared by designs that are like, trying so hard to be something else ig. I love a $2 plastic tiger that's green bc of whatever circumstances it was made it and bc it's cheap, I love old anime that's scrambling to capture the style of something popular bc I think designers who can't necessarily design can have some of the best designs haha. I really really like that and I feel like the devilman characters have that energy, they're very unique to me in a silly but cool way. It's stylized but detailed and horror and gorey and I like that the characters feel like multiple sides of the same person even if the overarching story isn't super impressive or gripping to me. I also just think they're gendery.

Also tossing in ringing bell, Carrie, perfect blue & Guillermo del torro for his philosophy on monsters. I deeply relate to monsters as a very Human and emotional creation, I love monsters as a narrative tool, I love reality breaks and seeing a characters pysche bleed out into the environment. It just speaks to me it makes sense to me, it feels like me. ect ect. I love outsider characters becoming monstrous from their circumstance.

[jake-whatthefisgoingon-kiszka]

16th of december, we're halway through december already. Im glad to hear you also hate coffee, cause i do too and anytime i tell someone they look at me like i just told them i killed their dog

What inspires you to write the most? How do you find inspiration, motivation and ideas to write?

You said you were potterhead, so now comes a question, which is very important to me: Are you a marauders fan and have you ever heard about/read "All The Young Dudes"?

What was your hyperfixation before gvf (mine was harry styles and 1D, which seems to have been a lot of peoples pipeline into the gvf fandom and idk why haha)? Any bands, movies, shows? Or fictional characters? Which leads me to the next question

Who are your favorite fictional characters? Could be from a book, a movie or a tv show

Have a wonderful day!!

-Secret santa 🎅🎄

It’s nice to meet a fellow coffee hater! Like there’s so many other delicious things to drink out there like juice and boba. Why are you torturing yourself with coffee?

1. I would probably have to say dreams. I dream a lot where I don’t feel like myself I just feel like an outside entity viewing what’s happening. I’ve started writing a few originals but my mind thinks in long multi-part series so I’ve never finished anything. Writing fanfiction is nice because readers usually don’t need all the world building and character introductions so you can jump right into the good stuff you want to write and can get some instant gratification in the form of comments, likes, reblogs. Even if I’m just a casual writer with a few followers, I see you guys out there who read and interact with my delusional stories and I appreciate you 💝

2. I have not but I will definitely check it out!

3. I was not a 1D fan 😅 in fact I went through sort of an anti-1D phase cause I was in highschool and I wore heavy black eyeliner and had swoop bangs so I was too emo for that… lol I do rather enjoy Harry’s recent stuff though like Adore You and Late Night Talking. Speaking of highschool I went through a Black Veil Brides phase in their early years (Set the World of Fire era) and tried to listen to some of their new stuff the other day but sadly hated it. Then I was (am) really into this Japanese rock band called The GazettE. I actually saw them live in Dallas a few years ago and I’m still wrapping my head around that one. I’ve always been a little abnormal about bands

4. Here ya go!

Sasuke Uchiha (I was in love with him at like 10 years old ok), Evelyn 😍, Damon Salvatore, Claire Fraser, Courge, Magnus Bane (specifically played by Harry Shum Jr not the other one), Kevin Tran, Guillermo De La Cruz, and Lexi

Well, I feel like a talked way too much here but oh well

[thenexusofsouls]

I think Brumbin is a funny muse. He may be a NPC character but NPC muses are great to show more about other characters or their different reactions - Stephen being annoyed by him, thinking he is a dangerous creature and unable to get him to behave while Mantis is like "Brumbin is babey. He's babey. He might be a husband and dad but he's also baby" and using her empathy to comfort him 💔 It's BIZARRE that I remember reading all that months before Gotg 3 came out and when it comes out Mantis befriends giant terrifying monsters in the movie and treats them like babies o_O It's either sorcery or knowing a muse so well you can predict canon, haha. Your muses react in character so well too, I forget I'm reading fan stuff, it's like reading future scripts for the movies!

Whether Brumbin becomes an independent muse or not, his dynamic with Stephen is everything 😂

{i am the caretaker of souls} Hehe, I'm glad you like Brumbin. It's funny, but that's kindof how Jix started out too. He was a sidekick character in a short story as part of a series of books and short stories I did years ago for his fictional world, and all my friend who read the story were talking more about Jix than about the main characters or story! So I decided to write some things about Jix and develop him a bit, and then I brought him to Tumblr a while back and developed him even more. Now he's completely his own thing and I love him to bits. =) More below the cut because LONG. XD

And omg that's happen to me too, only with things that I created, so it was doubly an awesome moment. Actually in the same world Jix, Channe, Aurelien, and Strychthia are from, and in the original story Jix was introduced in, I created a creature called Shilkie, which was basically a softball-sized, vaguely octopus-like critter that fed specifically on the brains of magic users. They were bred specifically for that and kept as pets/guard dogs by a race that was commonly hunted by wizards and sorcerers. But I digress. These creatures were really vulnerable (think a soft octopus body) and couldn't get around to fast or easily by themselves. But people of this race would keep them in pouches on their belts and whip them out when threatened, throwing them at their enemies. The creature would stick on, hopefully to their head but if not they would crawl up to it, and start to feed on the person's brain.

It was almost exactly the same as a creature I saw a few years later when Hellboy II came out, seen in this clip from 2:35 to 2:50. Mine doesn't have an eyeball on its back, and its body is more round instead of dangly, but other than that, that color, texture, size, behavior... all perfect. My now ex-boyfriend at the time and I even looked at each other simultaneously during that scene because he'd read my story and even he recognized what creature of mine it was like. I felt SO COOL because I had created on my own something that was essentially imaginative enough to be in a Guillermo del Toro movie. Not that anybody would believe me if I said oh I created something just like that before it came out, but I really don't care because I know I did. =) So yeah, it's always fun when something like that happens, heh.

You're so kind to say that you forget you're reading fan stuff when you read my muses, thank you so much for that. I've heard than from a number of people over the years, and it always amazes me. I will say that I feel like my writing was better years ago, before I had a lot more issues in my life that really have affected my creativity and ability to get into character, so sometimes I get a little sad because I feel like I've lost that edge to my writing that I used to have. But if there are those like you out there who still feel I'm writing up to that level, then I am truly grateful for the praise. <3

I don't feel it's necessarily all ability or creativity on my end, though, I think I'm just a perfectionist and I have issues with visuals and sounds, heh. Seriously, I've always had a lot of strange quirks with regard to music, sound, people's voices, and then also people's mannerisms, facial expressions, etc. I tend to hyperfocus on those details in ways that other people don't always do. I will recognize an actor by their voice and face, sometimes with several decades between roles, before I recall their name or what they were even in. Sometimes I'll hear them say a line in one movie that to me sounded the same as how they said a line somewhere else, almost sing-songy, as if it were part of a song that I'm recalling. I'll repeat it to myself in the same inflection and tone until it finally comes to me... oh, they were in this movie too. Or a way they move, a facial expression, or some mannerism will cause me to recall another time they made that same gesture, and then I'll remember what movie that was.

So for almost all of my muses who have live action FCs or who are canons from movies or shows, I get hung up a lot on... does this sound like something they would say? Literally, does it sound like they would say this in this accent, cadence, tone, etc.? I will actually emulate the character's voice, read their lines aloud, and if anything trips me up or doesn't sound like how the actor would have portrayed that character, I remove it or change it until it does. The same goes for body language, facial expressions, hand gestures, etc. If I've never seen the actor/character do this before, or if I can't imagine them doing it, then I discard it. For some reason, I'm very uptight about making things sound believable, real, plausible, feasible, etc. as far as both me and my readers feeling like this could actually have happened within the world in question. I don't know why I'm so hung up on that, but that's probably why my muses are so true to their characters and faceclaims. That's also the reason why I have multiple muses for certain faceclaims, because sometimes a person just speaks to me as far as the way they have about them and how they say/perform their lines.

I also don't put in what I want the character to do, I put in what they would do, heh. Sometimes I want them to do things they don't want to do, or I really wish they would do something or advance the plot in a certain way, but I just can't see the character doing that, so I can't write it. A lot of rpers are extremely OOC with their writing in that they write what they want the characters to do, or even what they would do in a self-insert sort of way, instead of staying true to the characters. If that's your thing, that's totally fine, I'm not hating on that method, but it's definitely not my method. When I read that kind of writing, it takes me right out of the story because to me the characters don't seem like themselves. I really need to be as IC as possible and to stay as true to the muse and the world they're in as I can, or I simply get annoyed at my own writing, haha. I started out writing fanfiction that way, and then it just spilled over into my rping on this site. So that's also probably why my muses never seem to deviate much from their core mannerisms, speech patterns, etc. even if I change canon or do something different with them.

A lot of times when I say I can't write or I "don't have a brain" to write, it's because I can't get into that zone where I feel I am writing my muses perfectly IC and true to themselves. The more tired, sick, unhappy, whatever that I get, the lazier my writing gets, and I don't try as hard to live up to my own standards, haha. So to prevent what seems to me to be like the deterioration of the muses, I will often just say I can't write on that day.

That was all probably more than you wanted to hear, but you made me kindof think about my own methods a bit which was cool, and I wanted to share, heh.

[cookinguptales]

As I start writing a wwdits fic that leans a little more into body horror than my usual work, I have to say... it's kind of odd, writing body horror while disabled, especially when it very much is your own body that is the horror.

As a lot of you know, due to my myriad stupid illnesses, I deal with chronic and occasionally very dangerous low blood volume. (As in, chronic blindness & passing out, trained nurses often cannot find my pulse, blood pressure machines malfunction, phlebotomists use ultrasounds to find my veins and blood still won't come out levels of low blood volume.) This can be very funny when I'm in a vampire fandom, but also kind of a weird experience. Like... yes, I do feel in some ways uniquely suited to write vampires. I also do not have enough blood, crave it regularly, can't go out in the sun, etc.

But in some ways, I'm almost too suited to writing vampires? Like... if there's one thing I've learned with vampire media, it's that there's a line. If you're not trying to invoke a sense of sick sort of body horror, then you cannot go full hypoxia. It freaks people out. You have to be careful with things like skin color and temperature, because things can get too corpse-y too quickly and suddenly your vampire is just scary and not sexy anymore.

It's an odd line to straddle when writing fiction when it's not one you necessarily can IRL. Like I know that people tend to find gray/purple/blue skin viscerally off-putting in a lizard brain sense, and I know this because I have seen people literally flinch while looking at me on bad blood days. People who love me! People who are almost as used to my condition as I am!

(Hell, there are days when I look in the mirror and I'm like "ugh, christ!" There really is something very weird and corpse-like about it!)

And chilly Twilight skin is one thing, but when you start describing it accurately as bone-chilling, as warmth-sapping, as when people touch you, they instantly feel colder and it does not stop because you will never be warm, then uh. Yeah, again, we start getting more into horror story scenarios.

So... you kind of have to learn to scale it back. Put in an "acceptable" amount of what you deal with every day. They wear thick clothes in the house and force Guillermo to stoke all those fires because they're chronically cold. Their skin loses its color and goes a bit sallow, but not quite to the discoloration point. They get listless and crabby when they're low on blood, but they're not going blind and passing out in the bath.

Like... you saw it, kind of, with what they did with Jenna. Jenna really showed me that they know what it's actually like, but they purposefully chose to scale it back with the vampires. Because bro, when Jenna was on death's door I was like "yeah haha that's what it's like." But that was played for horror, as well as somewhat horrified laughter, rather than the fun kind of sexy humor you get in the rest of the show. There's that line, y'know? At a certain point, you have to draw away from what this stuff would actually do to a human body because that's uh. That's just a corpse. And people are generally not corpsefuckers.

But then, then you decide to write a story where you lean into it a little. Where a character is actually made sick by vampirism, or something very like it. You lean into the sickfic aspects of it, you lean into the body horror. And you realize... you're just writing your own body, the way it actually is, in all of its off-putting horror. It's the lying in bed for hours because you don't have enough blood to raise your head, it's the world spinning and the nausea that claws at you from the inside because food is necessary and disgusting and you can't stand the thought of it because you know it'll make you sick, it's your lips going gray and purple and white and your fingers being too weak to even hold your phone upright. It's the weird craving for blood that you laugh off, but uhh, it actually is kind of weird, isn't it?

It's becoming empty when you are not actively filling yourself up, because your body cannot maintain that homeostasis on its own.

idk. It's a weird, fascinating kind of feeling, writing true blood loss on a regular basis. Leaning into how actually awful it is. idk if this is cathartic or upsetting, honestly speaking. (I'm just talking out my feelings now, lmao.) I guess at least I can drink saline and wrap my hands in a heating pad and eat bloody hamburger and take long, long naps. These weird undead characters have fewer options than I do, partially because I have given them fewer options.

I guess the horror that I'm leaning into is actually what scares me this time... I mean, there are definitely aspects of it that I've never had to deal with (mostly... the murder parts) but. Hmm.

This fic may end up being more personal than I had anticipated lmao.

[elventhief]

okay, sooo i’m back!

chapters 8,9, & 10 = the holy trinity! ahahaha .. but no, really. THE ACTION!! tbh, sometimes in stories i tend to skip bc it can be confusing but I WAS HOOKED

1) FUCK scarfield.. SO glad she broke his nose 🤭

2) I want a magical voice like Andy’s … which reminds me.. the fucking song! “And now I'm reaching out with every note I sing, And I hope it gets to you on some pacific wind..” THE. ANGST. 😭😭😭

3) LOVED ANDY PUTTING ARMANDO IN HIS PLACE! in front of everyone.. ha! it was incredibly deserving. and the ship backing her up like always is so funny lol

4) the back to the future reference made me snort! and of course, she’s related to jack sparrow 🤦🏻‍♀️ the amount of stress she’s been thru.. yikes! haha

5) Guillermo is simply the best.. a true friend to both of him and i love when he talks sense into Armando

6) Armando kneeling to grovel to her?? *BIG SWOON* their declarations of love >>> 💖

7) “The joke really must be on you, because maybe I’m into that shit.” I WAS OBSESSED —-> 🫨 legit my reaction

As much as i love the angst.. I LIVE for the fluff. I’m sooo glad they were able to spend some time together before shit hit the fan. Finished chapter 12 and i might even go ahead and re-read it bc i miss it already lmao. i love how protective they are of one another, their teasing, their nicknames.. just everything about them.

i could go on and on.. but like, this is probably too much already 🙈 sorry! just again, thank you for your storytelling and if i didn’t mention smthng that you loved writing about.. tell me! i don’t want anything to go unnoticed. you’re the writer.. not me. i’m not as eloquent lol

can’t wait for any updates or drabbles or deleted scenes. i’m a patient woman. 😇

Ahh! Thank you so much! I'm so pleased you loved it! a lot of the little things had been in the works for a bit, like how Andy is related to Jack, and the teasing of exactly how strong her powers could get before her taking the trident. The mystery of how and why she even has her abilities and why the trident reacted to her will be explained in the second arc I have planned after the "interlude" which will be maybe like, 5-10 chapters depending on how much the muses want to relax, have some social drama and not be in life threatening danger. I really am loving how their relationship has developed, and how it will continue to do so going forward, especially her friendship with Guillermo and the crew as well.

If you reread and find more things you like, please feel free to yell about them! It really makes me so, so happy that people enjoy my silly little writing.

[nanalikessurveys]

Do you think that you are a good singer? No I’m a bad singer and my voice gets really weak if I even try to sing lol.

Are you sure of your sexuality? Yeah.

Do you love your parents? I  definitely do.

Do you like to read? I like reading but I don’t do it often.

Do you think that you are a good writer? I’m not.

What was the last compliment that you got? Today my mom complimented the scarf I am crocheting? lol

What does your home phone look like? I don’t have a home phone. Just a cell phone.

Do you eat candy daily? Nope.

Have you ever moved to a different home? Yes twice. Once with my family and then once to live on my own.

Have you ever switched schools? Yes from elementary school to middle school and so on. But not like during a school year or anything like that.

Do you like to go swimming? Sometimes yeah.

Have you ever been to camp? I’ve been to few summer camps as a kid.

Do you have a pet? If so what? Yes I have two cats.

Do you have trouble spelling certain words? Some words sure. Do you get nervous with public speaking? Yes which is why I don’t do that.

What is your favorite TV show? I listed these a few surveys back and I don’t feel like doing it again :/

Do you know anyone with a really weird name? Nah.

Are you taken? No I’m single.

Do you fight with your parents all the time? No, we don’t fight.

Are you in pain right now? Thnkfully no.

What are you doing tomorrow? I’m going to stay home probably.

Were you single on your last birthday? Yep.

How much longer until your birthday? A bit less than 12 months.

Who is the last person on your received calls list? My mom.

Where were you at 8 am this morning? I was waking up, so in my bedroom.

When was the last time you went in the car past midnight? I don’t know about a car but I was in a bus past midnight when I came home from Estonia last wednesday.

So, you have brown eyes? No.

Ever kissed anyone with the name Joe or Dave? No.

Who was driving the last three cars you were in? My dad, my best friend and uhhh her fiance probably.

Does anyone call you babe or baby? No.

Who is your last text from? My friend.

What languages can you count to ten or higher in? Finnish, Swedish, English, Spanish, French.

Has a boy/girl ever cheated on their boyfriend/girlfriend for you? Nope.

Last missed call? I think it was my mom.

Do you drink lots of booze? I don’t.

Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night? No one in person, I live alone. But I was texting my friend.

Have you ever felt like you literally needed someone? Yes.

Are you one of those people that get nervous around babies and small children? I get uncomfortable around elementary school aged boys :/.

Do you use text lingo like ‘ur’ & ‘2’ whenever you text or instant message? No.

Do you update your Facebook status often? When’s the last time you updated it & what did it say? I'm not on Facebook.

Who was the last person you held hands with? I don’t recall.

Are you outgoing or shy? I’m a shy person.

Can you legally drink? Yes.

Will you be married in the next 2 years? Haha no.

Are you taller than 5’5”? I’m not.

At this very moment what should you be doing? Nothing in particular. Which is why I’m doing this.

Do you have any medication you have to take every day? Yeah.

Ever kissed anyone with a nipple piercing? No.

What about a lip piercing? Nope.

Who’s the last person who you went out to eat with? My mom.

What are you doing tonight? Surveys, maybe watch Netflix.

In winter, would you rather wear a jacket or hoodie? A coat.

Do you wish you were somewhere else right now? Nah.

How old do you look? Some people say I look younger. But it’s hard to say myself.

Where are your siblings? My sister is at home I’m assuming.

What are you going to do after this? Maybe watch Netflix. I started to watch Guillermo Del Toro’s Cabinet of Curiosities, I’ve only watched one episode but I liked it a lot so I’m going to continue with the other ones.

What color shirt are you wearing? Grey.

Have you ever voluntarily read the Bible? No.

Why do you think most teenagers don’t enjoy reading? Maybe because they have other things they find more appealing, or they’re sick of it because they have to read for school already, short attention span... There’s many reasons.

How much is gas where you live? I don’t know, I don’t drive.

How many good friends do you have? I have one friend.

When was the last time you were on the phone? This morning.

Did you get any compliments today? Yes... on my scarf lol.

Have you ever gotten a spray tan? No.

[petitprincess1]

Everyone kinda got done dirty in this episode (Marwa and Guillermo definitely got the worst of it), but I feel like that was the point of this ep. None of the characters (except Marwa) are pure people and I think they kinda just shoved that all in our faces on purpose. Nandor constantly talks about the crimes he committed, even in this episode, and has shown to have very little to no empathy. Until it blows up in his face, but even then he hardly admits fault.

Nadja and Guillermo both embezzled from the Nightclub. Plus, the nightclub was clearly for her own gain. It was foreshadowed in the beginning that it wasn't going to work, which is why the idea got rejected so many times. Not to mention her treating the Guide and wraiths like shit, barely even giving the bare minimum of what the wraiths wanted.

Laszlo has pretty much treated Baby Colin like an object and kept pushing him to either "be less boring" or becoming a gold mine. Despite the fact that Baby Colin wanted to do this for fun rather than monetary gain. Hell, he doesn't even call him Colin. He calls him boy all time. Even when he hit puberty, Laszlo was still trying to make money off of him. Never treating him like an individual.

As much as I want Guillermo to be happy, he's not pure either. Along with embezzling, he's helped with the killing of hundreds of people and even hiding the bodies afterward. Not to mention him just watching these people get hypnotized or torn apart. I know we all sympathize with him, but this man has lost quite a lot of empathy a while ago. ...Still wanna see him stab Nandor though.

So, yeah, I think this ep was meant to make us angry. I'm not saying that none of it is justified or anything like that. We're finally seeing how inhumane and truly idiotic these centuries-old vampires are/can be. It feels like we're moving more and more away from "haha look at these dumb vampires try to be normal" and are now into seeing how fucked up this whole thing is.

[teacupsandcyanide]

A lot of people have pointed out that Nandor has super strength and could have just pulled away from Guillermo or even run away while Guillermo was busy fighting off other vamps, and the tragic thing is that yes that but also Nandor was full brainwashed by that point. He fully believed that he didn’t have vampiric strength bc he wasn’t allowed to use it; it’s even possible he was weaker than usual because we don’t know what they were allowed to eat there and whether they were allowed to sleep with their dirt.

And other people have pointed out that this whole wellness center thing was something of a cry for help and that’s tragic too bc it totally was, as much as it was Nandor truly thinking this would make him happy. The fact that he left that pamphlet in plain sight in his room with a passive-aggressive note just to see if anyone would come after him is just fhjskshava [off key singing] Physically Painful~

Like yeah he was manically happy when the camera crew stopped by to do their catchup, but before that how was he? how many days/nights was Nandor lying awake or staring off into the distance (in the small moments he had that weren’t dedicated to keeping the entire group in such a blind frenzy of rhythmic energy that none of them could think straight) thinking “I bet Nadja will show up tomorrow screaming about me leaving her to do all the work herself, and I won’t even care haha” or “let Laszlo just try and show up and tell me I’m stupid, he’ll feel stupid when he sees how cute my human blowout is” or “did Colin Robinson bagsy my room when I was leaving or did I imagine that” or “wow I really thought Guillermo would - not that I care what Guillermo would do with his stakes and his big trench coat and his face slapping gloves anyway”

And when did those thoughts turn to “oh. No one is coming for me. They’re actually not coming for me”?

Like it genuinely just guts me that there probably were times when Nandor wouldn’t have looked confused and horrified to see Guillermo; or when he wouldn’t have said “I’ve never been happy until then and you took me away from that”, but by the time Guillermo got there it was too late and he was brainwashed to the point where he really believed that what he felt there was inclusion and love and happiness, and that he was a human simply because he’d been told he was now

But! It also pains me in a different way that even when Guillermo got there too late, Nandor didn’t run away. He believed he was human and that he was happy and that no one in the Staten Island house cared about him, but there was still enough muscle memory left for him to trust Guillermo implicitly and cover his face, not try to escape, and hold onto Guillermo’s hand while Guillermo got them both out of there

Anyway luckily this is a comedy so I look forward to the funny montage of deprogramming Nandor over a timeskip using rubber bands and feeding him sheep blood out of a baby bottle