#so I’ve got Katamari on the brain

[rawpastamoth]

Oh! You just rolled up some weird running thing! Wait… It’s second cousin Homestar. Oh, stop getting in the way!

[kygerbearr]

man those bitches who said its normal for teens to have an identity crisis and that i’d figure it out as an adult were SO fucking lying dude. instead of it ironing itself out i just feel like a katamari rolling up a bunch of people and now i’ve got an overworked brain and what kind of person i am changes by the second like i’m too much of a gay ace goth weeb furry tiger bear wolf coyote he/they agender loner-whos-friends-with-almost-everyone but stoic-while-preaching-of-the-importance-of-emotional-expression fashionista-who-owns-only-clothes-from-goodwill independent-but-doesnt-have-a-drivers-license kind of person to deal with this shit

[digitalhovel]

Games as Meditation

A lot has changed in the last month for me. I quit my job due to workplace conditions and harassment. I got a new job. I drove 1000 miles. I ended the longest relationship I’ve ever had. I completed my first proper theatrical work and got paid to do it. I grew tits.

In the midst of all this, I have felt many things. I have felt excited and sad and bewildered and mortified and angry, all without an incredible amount of time to process those feelings. It’s an oversimplification, of course. I have processed things in the wee hours of the morning and in dreams and at work and during the slow parts of the day when the mind wanders. I have picked through my emotions in therapy and worked to give them credence and space in at least that hour every week. But mostly I have felt exhausted. And in that exhaustion, I have struggled to move ahead, to decide the next steps, to push into the brave, terrifying unknowns I face.

So I played some games.

I have always been bad at meditating. I can write, I can hum, I can listen to music or podcasts or the birds for endless hours, but I find it remarkably difficult to quiet my mind for any length of time. I thought a few small games might help with that. So, this is my review of: Donut County, Far from Noise, and Florence.

I was looking for distraction and catharsis. I’m not entirely sure yet what I’ve walked away with, but I’ve certainly gotten both from these games. Donut County is by far the most humorous and tonally simple of the bunch. You play a raccoon who has doomed Donut County by… swallowing everyone and everything into a giant pit, a la Katamari Damacy. The writing is funny, the game is short and sweet, and it doesn’t outstay itself. I found myself laughing for the first time in a week, genuinely enjoying the silliness of the premise and the simple joy of making objects disappear into a pit. It gave me a relief from the cycles my brain had been stuck in, and the catharsis from making things vanish was incredible. Of course, all the things that fell in the pit had to be rescued, just as all the thoughts pushed into the corners of my mind had to be addressed eventually. But for the time being, there was a pit, and by Jove I was going to swallow everything with it.

Far from Noise feels like something someone would tell me to play. An unnamed character, trapped in a car teetering on the edge of a cliff, with no company except a few animals, their own thoughts, and a talking Deer. A very philosophical deer. Conversations range from college studies to the meaning(lessness) of existence, landing, at least in my experience, on some genuinely touching notes about nature and our place in the cosmos. It is not a game I’d recommend lightly, as it actively discusses death and hopelessness in a very real way, but the visuals are gorgeous, and the dialogue is entertaining enough to keep you hooked in for the hour-and-a-half ride. There are moments it feels the game is making a concerted effort at profundity, and moments when the game is genuinely profound. When everything seems inescapable, and when there is truly an ocean of possibilities ahead, it is nice to remember one’s transience. The game roots itself firmly in nature, keeping the experience grounded and connected with a wider world that pulls you in and forces you to reckon with silence and beauty and the opportunities of being alone in thought. No matter the ending, the decision to be and the choices made along the way, will carry us to cliffs, rivers, and oceans, all of which are to be appreciated in their own right. It was a piece of meditation I appreciated, if only to follow some guided existentialism instead of spinning wildly on my own wheels.

Finally, I played Florence. Now, before I jump in, I will note that former employees of Mountains, the game’s developer, have come forward with allegations of workplace abuse by studio lead Ken Wong. Still, the game was incredibly well reviewed, and due to Nintendo’s points system, I got it for free. So, as ethically as I could, in the moment.

If you know Florence’s story, you probably can guess why I thought it would be good for me to play it. For those who don’t, the game is a short, interactive (originally built for mobile devices) game exploring a relationship between the titular character Florence, and her boyfriend Krish. I can’t talk about the game without spoiling it, so a spoiler-free review: the design of the interaction feels incredibly intentional in a very satisfying and interesting way, the story is impactful, but I have slight quibbles with some of the meanings you could take from it. It feels like it could be read as a message about independence and monogamy instead of a message of self-reliance or self-actualization, which is what I would want to pull from it, at least.

One of the moments that really stuck with me was the ‘Groceries’ chapter. It’s approximately in the middle of the story and is the first indication Florence and Krish’s relationship isn’t perfect. As they shop, they get into an argument, and the player must build speech bubbles on the fly to respond to Krish’s comments. The pieces making the bubbles change shape each time, a magically simple way to indicate she is trying to communicate different ideas, or in different ways, and none of them are working. The game also gives Krish a hand up because he responds automatically in the same style, making the player feel incredibly disadvantaged in the argument. The result is an honest portrayal of a difficult, painful situation not uncommon in relationships. And the game doesn’t stop there. We follow Florence as she grows from being somewhat stuck in her job, to following her relationship with Krish, to the melancholic end of that relationship and the developments her life takes afterwards.

When I got this game from the Nintendo store, I felt numb. It had been a few weeks since my own breakup, and I’d had little time to truly sit with my own thoughts, despite my efforts to do so. There were always more occupying factors at hand. So, I used this game as a proxy. It is not 1:1, by any stretch. It’s not even close. But for some reason, I was able to grieve for Florence’s relationship in way I had not been allowing myself to grieve my own. I cried and I felt a small weight lift off my shoulders because some of the tears trapped behind my eyes had finally escaped. The game attaches you to these characters, to the life and love springing between them, and them gently forces you to let it go. You can do so in your own time, but you do have to let go. It was an action I have a hard time practicing in life, and the opportunity to do so consciously eased some of the anxieties I was stuck in.

Games are not a stand-in for emotional development, for therapy, or for self-reflection. But they can be a tool to help those processes along. Games, as art, have as much experiential validity as someone’s break-up playlist or anniversary movie night. These are activities we do to mark the occasion of momentous shifts, to pass the time while our brains sort through the clusters of new and old information and how we may process them. I would recommend these games as experiences. They’re good experiences to have. And I’m glad I chose to have them now, when I needed just a bit of fun, a bit of space, and a different mindset while things ticked on around me.

[brascu]

My brain, thinking about ships, works like a katamari ball.

I had Klaus and Ben already there, then Five got into it. So at first it was horrance and Klive, and now I want to write the three of them.

Then I was like. Hm, Ben and Viktor. Then I thought, Horrance. So now, yeah, why not add Klaus to it? hehe

Oh, I’ve never written about Dave. Lemme go into season two so they can interact. oh, but horrance. Oh, and Jill. What if Klaus fucks Jill and Keechie with Ben inside his body? And what if Ben also falls in love with Dave? 

I will never be like “oh your ship sucks.” or “I won’t read this ship”. Show me your ship. I’ll probaly enjoy it and add it to my little katamari ball of ships.

[omoi-no-hoka]

JLPT Level: N2

This is my favorite word in Japanese. Do you know why?

Because my favorite game in the entire world is this:

Yes, it is Katamari Damacy (塊魂), the greatest game series EVER. 

FIGHT ME

I know you guys come here to learn Japanese, but today you’re gonna learn about this game and it’s gonna CHANGE YOUR LIFE

YOU’RE WELCOME

You are the Prince (the little dude in green), a happy-go-lucky guy who has to beware of narrow doorways. Your father, the King of the Cosmos and hands-down the most fabulous being ever, got drunk and accidentally blew up all of the planets and like everything. Oops. So rather than cleaning up his own mess, he sends his 5 cm tall son to Earth to roll up items using a sticky ball called a katamari, and then the King turns the completed balls into planets and stars.

SO. DANG. FABULOUS.

The levels are all unique and there are different challenges. Sometimes the levels are timed, sometimes they are size-based, and sometimes you have to get the katamari to the proper size within the time limit. And there are a lot more levels with unique conditions that have to be met. 

The controls are also interesting. In most games, the left analog stick is for moving the character and the right analog stick is to adjust the camera. But in Katamari, you have to pretend that you are rolling the katamari with both hands, so you have to move the katamari with both analog sticks in tandem. 

This game breaks the mold in ALL THE RIGHT WAYS

There are so many aspects of this game that I love. There are so many items laying around in the levels that you always manage to find something new no matter how many times you play. When you roll up humans they scream and my morbid sense of humor delights. The absurd challenges and premises are hilarious, and the gameplay requires a finesse that is both challenging and fun.

Also, pretty much every game ever congratulates or rewards you in one way or another when you complete a level. But your father, the King of the Cosmos, will NEVER in a million years praise you. You can get 100% and he will say, “I’ve seen better.” and if that doesn’t reflect real life idk what does

Oh, the memories...

OH AND DID I TELL YOU IT HAS AN AWARD-WINNING SOUNDTRACK?!

The soundtrack is killer. I recommend “DISCO☆PRINCE” and “Everlasting Love.”

The original Katamari Damacy came out for the PS2 in 2004 (writing this I realize that was FIFTEEN years ago omg). Since then there have been several other Katamari games released for different platforms. My personal favorite is Katamari Forever for the PS3. I think it’s the most well-rounded, and I cannot recommend it highly enough. Katamari is one of those games that takes a day to learn but a lifetime to master. 

KATAMARI DAMACY IS A WAY OF LIFE

Let’s learn some kanji

塊 katamari  lump, clump, mass, cluster

魂 tamashii (stylistically romanized as “Damacy”) soul, quintessence

Anybody can play Katamari. But to excel at Katamari, your soul must be one with the katamari. 

TO ROLL IS TO BE

This game encapsulates Japan at its finest

Just look at that weird-ass picture. That’s not fan art--that’s from the opening title screen of one of the games. That’s OFFICIAL KATAMARI, YO. And every game is just as extra and zany as this from start to finish. 

I was already watching anime and reading manga when I heard of Katamari and started playing it, so my interest in Japan was already there. But playing Katamari Damacy made me all the more curious about Japan. 

When I rolled up ookonomiyaki, I wondered what it tasted like.

There’s a level where every single thing has a price on it, and you have to create the most expensive katamari. And I rolled up a randoseru (an elementary school student’s backpack) that was $100, and I was like, “HOW IS A BACKPACK THIS EXPENSIVE.”

Even though all of the text is translated into English, there are a few in-game characters that speak in Japanese. When you roll up a camper he yells “Yamete yo,” and there is a level where you have to help a sumo-wrestler fan who wants to become the yokozuna (the strongest sumo wrestler). Instead of rolling around a katamari, you roll around him, and all you do is roll up food and he grows fatter and fatter. Every time he rolls up food he says, “Gottsuan desu!” which is the way a sumo wrestler says “arigatou gozaimasu”

I loved the soundtrack for We Love Katamari so much that I bought it, and I learned the words to the songs and sang along to them as I played.

So, I guess what I’m trying to say with this ridiculous rambling post about a 15-year-old game about rolling random items up because your asshole dad makes you is that you should

Seek Out Learning Materials that Don’t Feel like Learning Materials

A lot of people think that learning a language has to be done by hitting your brain with a grammar book until the stuff sticks and by doing Memrise or Anki or whatever until the words are seared into your mind. And yes, unless you’re a savant or something you are going to have to do your time and study with those traditional materials if you want to use the language with accuracy. 

But unless you’re a bookworm or unless you are absolutely balls-to-the-wall about learning Japanese, you’re going to get tired of that and you’re going to give it up at some point.

That’s why you need to find other materials that don’t feel like studying, and I’m here to tell you that games like Katamari Damacy is one of those materials, even if you play it in English.

When you learn a language, you’re not just learning the words and grammar patterns. As I’ve illustrated in previous posts, a language and a people’s forms of expression are shaped by their culture and history, and I truly do feel that Katamari Damacy provides a fascinating look into Japanese culture. It fueled me to want to learn more about it. 

So next time you get tired of poring over Genki or you get ticked off because you messed up that reading for that word on WaniKani and you gotta do it again (lol), sing along to a Japanese song (pronunciation practice), watch anime with English or Japanese subtitles (listening comp), read manga (kanji, reading comp), or, maybe

give katamari damacy a spin

Passion is a fire and it needs fuel. Feed your love for Japanese by having some fun with it!

[monsterbroth]

I got katamari reroll coz I’ve been meaning to for ages and it’s still in my brain and it is now 3am which is ideal gaming time so >: )

[kimonobeat]

KAQRIYOTERROR Lyrics: lilithpride

English translation and romanization (with parts labeled) below the cut. Thank you @konchugun​ for the coffee! :)

ENGLISH

I happen to be a troublemaker but me, smiling without even realizing it? As if When are the flowers gonna bloom, data? I've had it up to HERE with all this digging around, FAKE! I’ve picked my cards, do I play ‘em now? Born to be negative, don’t you replace it with anything else Tailwindsーjust corrupted characters, right? Hey, there’s a shinigami standing at the ready beside me “K”, change in meaning, no “A”, all the way up to “T” Hate having to collect, an ugly awakening too, scared of Goliath, So incoherent... Karma.

I’m delegating all my self-pity to somebody else, I’m a big old lump of feeling bad You think tomorrow will be a good day? I wait, hiding my belly button.

Nosebleed, rrrah! Fly in the brain Hey all you sweet and innocent girls, Hang in there! Waahhh! What’s pray? Things’re upside down, having withdrawal symptoms I’m proud of a version of myself I still have yet to see.

Uniforms get worn out from fighting The other members play stuff that’s all over the place There aren’t really circuses anymore, you know? No way I’ll be able to get you a souvenir, SAFE! Sensitivity, with no impurities. Push it up, don’t leave it unread, go ahead and drop the formalities, cross time, from the dump, love me desperately.

I wanna get down to the bottom of what happened I’m setting up shop on a crooked foundation Tomorrow’s gonna be a good one, yeah? I hate havin’ to hide my ass!

Nosebleed, rrrah! Fly in the brain. Hey all you sweet and innocent girls, Hang in there! Waahhh! What’s pray? Things’re upside down, withdrawal symptoms I’m proud of a version of myself I still have yet to see. My nosebleed’s gushing, got textures on the stains With what’s happening right now... My entire life’s been a waste, a Lie. Nooo, What’s ‘anonymous’? I’m a crybaby, I’m being pushed past my limits This brand new light’s making my eyes hurt

Nothing is wrong.

Not gonna shut up, not gonna give up. Who cares if I cry? Look at me some more. Let’s make something together because it won’t be neat and pretty Look at me from the side and you’ll see me getting more barbaric... Whoooa!

Nosebleed, pppbbt! Fly, Fly again A bizarre festival, Hang in there too, taboos! Waahhh! What’s pray? Every single damn thing is upside down You are the one thing I’m most proud of.

ROMAJI

Yuu: hakarazu to mo toraburume-ka- kidzukanu mama waraeru mon ka Noa: hana saku koro itsu desu de-ta? horisagetemo, korigori desu, FAKE! Namidamaru: kimeta ka-do dasu no ima desho? Sumomo: mochimae nega,   DKI: okikaeru na, Yuu: oikaze toka,   Namidamaru: moji-bake desho? Namidamaru/Sumomo: nee,   Sumomo: soba ni shinigami taiki de DKI/Sumomo: “K”   DKI: kawaru imi “A” naku “T” made DKI: toritate yada,   Namidamaru: minikui same ni mo, Sumomo: goriate kowa, Yuu: shiri metsuretsu...   Noa: gou.

Namidamaru: marunage no jiko renbin kimochi warusa no katamari Yuu: ashita wa ii hi kana? Sumomo: oheso kakushite matsu.

All: hanaji bya-   Noa: tobe in the brain. itaike na All: shoujo mo Hang in there! DKI: piya- What’s pray? sakasama yo kindan shoujou Noa: mada minu jibun ni hokori wo.

Sumomo: tatakau no mo tsukareru seifuku chiguhagu nano kanaderu menba- Yuu: sa-kasu demo nakanaka nai yo? omiyage ni wa, muri muri desu, SAFE! DKI: Sensitivity mazari mon nashi. Namidamaru: oshiagete’ke,   Sumomo: yomikage dame, Noa: yobitame OK,   Yuu: gomi tame kara,   DKI: toki kakete’ke, Hanamaru/Sumomo: koi yake nite.

Noa: shiritai ne jiko gen’in kihon naname ne, kamaeru. Namidamaru: ashita koso ii hi de ne? Yuu: oshiri kakuren yada!

All: hanaji bya-   DKI: tobe in the brain. itaike na All: shoujo mo Hang in there! Sumomo: piya- What’s pray? sakasama yo kindan shoujou Yuu: mada minu jibun ni hokori wo. Namidamaru: nau hanaji byu- kime on the sutein DKI: ima dakara... jinsei son shite Lie. Noa: iya- What’s mumei? nakimushi yo genkai haretsu DKI: arata na hikari ni me ga itai

Sumomo: Nothing is wrong.

Noa: damaranai, akiramenai. naitatte ii jan motto mite. Yuu: kirei-suginai, dakara koso issho ni sousaku soba kara mitara yabanka mo... waa-

All: hanaji pu-   Namidamaru: tobe Fly again. kisai daro, All: kinki mo Hang in there Yuu: piya- What’s pray? sakasama mo issai gassai Namidamaru: kimi koso boku no hokori daro.

[comicsinkcorporated-blog]

Interview with Emily Fitch: Chiptune artist

CI: How did you first get into chiptune?

EF: I just think 8-bit ish music just has a pleasant sound to it. I really wanted a way to make a tribute to my favorite music, but also to be able to sort of deconstruct it. Making covers by ear like this is just as much of an exercise in song structure for me as it is a music piece I'm creating. And of course it conjures images of what modern games might have been like if re-imagined in the 8-bit era which is always fun to imagine.

CI: What are your musical inspirations?

EF: I'm really into Katamari music, spanning the whole series. I really love the upbeat tone and the quirky, experimental-ness and it's something I want to emulate in my music. I also love a lot of vocaloid produces like AVtechNO!, Sasakure.uk, Treow/Electrocutica, and Camellia. Akira Yamaoka was a big inspiration for me, the music and sound design of Silent Hill is really what first got me interested in making my own music.

CI: So you’ve worked on music for games and short films, how do you approach writing music for them in comparison to your other music?

EF: Making music for any media where timing has to be taking into account really changes the way you look at it. I'm usually really free form, I just sort of find something that I like the sound of and try to find a way to build on it. But if I'm working with animation and something happens visually that I want to accentuate, I might have to suddenly take the piece in a whole new direction to make it fit. When it comes to games, I have a lot of things in mind. I usually have notes from the developers about the general feel of the track and in what situations it might play. I'm especially conscious of looping tracks, especially if they play in an area the player spends lots of time in. You need to make sure it doesn't get too stale or repetitive too quickly or the music becomes a distraction from the game rather than a part of it.

CI: Do you have any plans for future chiptune albums?

EF: Before I put out any of my chiptunes as an album, I want to undertake the process of remastering them. I've been working on these for nearly 4 years and I've gained so much more experience and gotten a hold of better samples and I'd want to bring everything up to a more consistent standard before re-releasing them.

CI: Do you have any plans for any physical (including Vinyl) for your music?

EF: I really love making physical media! For my first album STARGROOVE, I went really hands on. I spent hours designing the inserts for the CD, I was in an office depot for about two hours trying to get them printed the right size, and I folded everything and assembled each CD by hand. I only made about 30, enough to give away to my friends and family. I really like physical goods, especially when it comes to music.I'd love to make more CDs in the future, not too sure about vinyl though. I don't even have anything to play it on myself!

CI: So on your youtube page, you’ve done chiptune covers of a lot of popular game songs. Which songs stands out as your favorite work so far?

EF: It's really hard to pick! I find myself going back and listening to my older chiptunes a lot. If I had to pick a few standouts, I like Copied City from NieR Automata. I feel like I was ably to capture the delicate, atmospheric sound of the original track. I also really like all of my JoJo covers, just because it's so much fun to use chiptune for guitar.

CI: What game song do you hope/plan to tackle in the future?

EF: One day I am going to chiptune the entire NieR soundtrack...one day...

CI: In recent years Chiptune has become a more widely practiced form of music. What do you think the appeal of the genre is?

EF: There's a big nostalgia factor for sure. (I'm not sure if that really applies to me, my first game console was a PS1...) There's something that's really appealing about taking simple sounds and using them in unexpected ways. And now that we don't have to worry about channel or hardware limitations, you can take the chiptune sound and blend it with all kinda of other instruments and any genre you want. The flexibility make chiptune a really fun genre to work with.

CI: Could explain the idea behind ASSCAT?

EF: ASSCAT is humanity's divine savior, descending upon the land and bringing untold cosmic wisdom to those who would heed his infallible word.

One day my friend Rina (@Oceanroost) and I were roasting some of her old high school poetry she found and she said "Hey! Why don't I write you a song?" Like, an hour later she sent me ASSCAT. It was just too good not to make a song for. That song ended up becoming a big collaboration in my friend group, all of us working on album art or making remixes. It's become kind of a tradition for us to make an ASSCAT song every year and the lore sort of built itself up over time. ASSCHAN has kind of become my unofficial mascot too.

CI: And lastly is there anything else you want to say to readers? EF: I would just like to day, if you have something silly you like to do for fun, then have at it. I never thought anyone would really be interested in my covers, they were just something I did when I didn't feel like I had the brain energy for making "real music." Even music itself was something I just considered a hobby for a long time before I really started to feel like it could be a profession I would enjoy. Draw bad art, write dumb songs, sing about all-knowing space garfield, make things that make you happy and you just might make others happy too.

[0ragingblueberry0]

Hello! Here, Internet, have a list of Good Content For When Ur Brain Is Filled With Goblins! (with CWs bc I been there, fam)

THIS IS SO LONG IM SORRY

Podcasts: 

My Brother, My Brother and Me: 3 brothers give bad advice. (CW: it’s a wild card, fam. Generally swearing/sexual humor. )

Wonderful! : One of the previous bros and his wife talk about things they like. 10/10 warm n fuzzy.

The Adventure Zone: The same bros and their dad. Listen. these bros. are just Real Good. Dungeons and Dragons Podcast. They ignore most of the rules. (CW: swearing, sexual humor, cartoon violence. Like it’s not a cartoon, but i can’t think of a better term than cartoon violence?)

No Such Thing As A Fish : British Fun Fact Podcast. Good for distractions and background noise. 

YouTube Channels/Series:

Good Mythical Morning : Comedy morning show. In case you need some dads, here’s two. (CW: eating a lot of gross food. Otherwise v family-friendly)

Dances Moving by Brian David Gilbert : this is a series of 7 videos comprising a fake dance class that is hilarious and also strangely emotional. Please watch it. It is so good. (CW: maybe some swearing?)

Danandphilgames : Listen. I am trash. and I know this. but they have a very good gaming channel. and I can’t be the only one who is comforted by Dudes With Genuine Healthy Friendships. (CW: Dan swearing. Dan S C R E A M I N G. Dan.)

JunsKitchen: Japanese guy (married to an American woman) teaches you how to make Japanese food in the most satisfying way possible. Also he has the best cats. 11/10 soothing. Also his channel with his wife about living in Japan, Rachel and Jun, is very good. 

TV/Movies

Star Trek: ya know, star trek. My mom grew up watching it with her dad, and I grew up watching it with her. It might not have the same ~deep personal meaning~ for you, but I’ve always found it very comforting. I think the franchise has a very optimistic vision of the future, which a lot of sci-fi doesn’t. I’d say the most approachable series is The Next Generation, if you’re a newbie. Reboot movies are v good, too. All the series are on Netflix, and the reboot movies are on Amazon with Prime. (CW: Space wars and aliens and stuff)

The Great British Bake-Off: y’all know about this. Just a bunch of British people baking stuff in a tent and being kind and supportive of one another. Incredible. On Netflix.

John Mulaney stand-up specials : y’all are tumblr, so I know you know about him too. Relatable, generally wholesome, non-problematic comedy. And there’s 3 of them on Netflix. (CW: cussing, sexual/drug humor)

I’m also gonna throw Queer Eye into the category of “Y’all been know”

The Good Place: A show about a mix-up in the afterlife. Very funny and the show is always 85 steps ahead of you. There’s no gore or anything. Death is more of a setting used to talk about philosophy and what makes a good person. Also they make so many deeply, deeply accurate jokes about Jacksonville, FL (CW: Death)

British Panel Shows: I always end up watching these when my brain isn’t up to exploring. They’re like game shows but all the contestants are British comedians. My favorites are QI, Would I Lie To You?, and The Big Fat Quiz Of Everything. In the U.S., I find the best way to watch them is on YouTube. Also good for background noise. (CW: swearing, sexual humor)

Psych: a comedy show where a dude pretends to be a psychic to help solve crimes. It’s good for people like me who love crime shows but also hate suspense. Based on personal experience, I wouldn’t have watched it on my worst days, but I enjoy it now as an alternative to shows that are supposed to be spooky. It’s available on Amazon Prime video. (CW: crime, violence, death, sometimes suicide)

Books: 

The Long Way To A Small, Angry Planet by Becky Chambers: A very Queer space adventure. It’s similar to firefly in concept, but without all of the darkness and evil and sudden but inevitable betrayal. Also I just really need it to become a fandom so I can waste more time on this site.

Turtles All The Way Down by John Green : I’ll admit, I’m not the biggest John Green fan, and while this is not my favorite book of all time or anything, I really appreciated its portrayal of OCD and anxiety in a very real, but not over-dramatized way.

If At Birth You Don’t Succeed by Zach Anner : A very funny memoir about life with a disability that is very encouraging without being a self-help book. 

I’m A Stranger Here Myself by Bill Bryson: observations on American life by a dude who has lived in England most of his life. I blame this book for my Dad humor. 

Twitter Accounts:

Thoughts Of Dog : it is the thoughts of a dog. and his adventures with his human. and his stuffed fren sebastian. his feets. are a tippy-tappin. 

Lin-Manuel Miranda: He wrote Hamilton. He also writes good morning and goodnight tweets that are very encouraging. They have also now been adapted into a book called GMorning, GNight! 

Apps To Play While You Panic:

Gerrymander: a game where you literally just gerrymander voting districts. In a very satisfying, though morally reprehensible way. 

Amazing Katamari Damacy: Basically an app version of Katamari Damacy, where ur a lil space dude who rolls stuff into a big ball so ur dad can turn it into a planet. Or something.

I Love Hue: a game where you sort jumbled-up colored squares to make a pleasing gradient. It also plays soothing music and gives you confusing, but very nice compliments when you win. This app literally got me through a panic attack on a train at night in a foreign country, which is about the highest marks I can give anything. 

Go forth and fight ur brain goblins with a sword. 

[bending-sickle]

For the ask game: 15,18 and 25

15. what’s the weirdest thing that’s happened to you?

ooh, i was secretly hoping for this one because my erstwhile amnesiac brain actually let me remember one incident. picture it: sicily, 1922 barcelona, the dying end of the 2010s, in the open-air market in front of the cathedral. i’m treating myself to a mediocre cone of churros and hot chocolate when a mime, or possibly a clown, walks up to me and asks me, in italian, where i got them. (wait, there’s more.) i explain in the same language, pointing out the shop, and then the mime asks me for a churro. i’m bewildered, but pull one out. mime takes it, thanks me, and walks away, eating it. i walk away, feeling even more bewildered but slightly pleased, like i’ve just had a community-bonding experience, but mainly more weirded out than anything, so i go sit on a wall on a corner to try and enjoy the rest of my churros. i also check for my wallet and phone, because you just never know. but it turns out the italian mime just wanted a churro.

18. do you play video games?

no. as a kid i would play street fighter (mainly as chung li but blanka was also a fave), at first on the arcade game thingy at my uncle’s bar, then on my brother’s console. i also played mario, a bit of sim city (destruction via earthquake! tsunami! godzilla!) but never got into legend of zelda, though i’d watch my bro. when my bro got into doom i gave it a shot, but even in invisible mode, i couldn’t make it up a flight of stairs (he was…no help in how to use the controls). i also had a gameboy as a kid (and probably still do, at least by Schrödinger's law) and that was mainly mario and tetris. but I haven’t played any since the mid 90s with the exception of one evening with katamari damacy (my brother was impressed i was any good at it, which probably says more about him than me) and guitar hero sometime in the early 2000s. i’ve also played some app games (mainly a dinosaur hunting one and swimming shark one) but eh. i’d like to give those big world explorey ones a try but like…i’m using a laptop that runs on vista, so it’s not in my cards.

25. can you tie a cherry stem with your tongue?

…no? at least, i haven’t tried, but i can de-pit those suckers (and olives) in two moves, and i’m a wiz with sunflower seeds.

[coolbaby92]

 having a classic meltdown for the first time in like 9 months and I figured it would be helpful to make some lists

current stressors:

finishing this last bit of school so that I can be done with school forever (maybe) and no longer have to take so many fucking tests to show I’m ready to do a thing and instead do a thing

trying to find a place to do that thing at after graduation

slowly preparing to move out of here by October, because I’m living in my grandmother’s condo while she is at a care home and she’s not coming back so it’s being sold to continue paying for her care

also, yeah, my grandma is pretty much dying...she’s not on her death bed by any means, but she is completely wheelchair bound which is causing blood clots to form in her legs. she’s also in a lot of pain, but they can’t do the proper surgery on her to relieve the pain because she is on blood thinners AND she is fucking 91 years old dude it’s so dangerous to put her under...she is still very lucid though, and in good spirits at the place she’s at

8 months of daily classes all about death and I still find myself unable to cope with the mortality of those around me/close to me. I’m told this is normal and that the only thing that matters is that you can detach and get the work done, but I also feel like an inadequate funeral service practitioner because of it

speaking of detachment and learning how to do it, I’ve experienced many firsts not only in the last 8 months but in the past month...things have gotten bloodier and messier and I’ve handled it well but I think seeing things like the bodies of multiple men who shot themselves in the temple is something that is going to weigh on my subconscious for a while

more in firsts, I worked on my first autopsied body, first person under like 60, and first SIDS baby, all at the same time, because yeah, it was an autopsied baby. I was hoping that I would get to work my way down in age and get used to seeing more young people before I would have to embalm a baby but, you know, death has its own plans and you just have to go with it...or at least try to...but anyway, yeah, it’s another case that is probably contributing to some underlying PTSD I think I will now always have (another thing that is very common in this line of work, but makes you feel like a total pussy regardless) 

switching gears, there’s a straightup Nazi in my classes, and I’m filled with hatred toward her whenever she is within like 50 feet of me, and feeling so much anger and negativity toward someone is more poisonous to you than it is to them...it’s why you should try not to be so negative about others, but in this case I feel it is at least warranted, even if it is chipping away at my sanity trying to wrap my head around why this bitch dares to be alive. she is protected by the school’s discrimination rules or whatever so whenever I’ve tried to report her or do anything about this situation, I’m met with this opinion of people in charge that I’m the one being irrational for being outraged by this, which is just super gaslight-y and disorienting because it fucks with my logic so bad...

also everyone else in my classes are stressful in their own special ways and it makes me question each day if I truly belong in civilization

I’m ugly and fat, boohohhobjohbjhkojkj

my boyfriend has a 10 year old son, which is crazy and he’s a handful in unique ways

the son’s mother is a complete deadbeat and I have this really visceral sense of resentment toward her...Devin told me the whole story of their relationship, how she manipulated him for years, how she made him marry her so that they could keep qualifying for subsidized housing because apparently she doesn’t understand that jobs are a thing (she has literally never worked a day in her life) and forced Devin to stop trying to take college classes because he wasn’t spending enough time with her, and then she got pregnant and when their son was born, she didn’t do anything to take care of him and kept finding excuses why she couldn’t, leaving Devin to take all of it on himself. then she broke up with him, but as soon as she did, she “started” dating this other guy, before Devin even had a chance to move out, so they fucked all the time while he was raising a baby in the other room WHAT the fuck okay then she left with this guy, got addicted to meth or something, broke that off, eventually found this old ass dude to have two more kids with. I guess as of a couple years ago she came back into the picture, and now thinks she deserves mandatory visits with her son when she does not, legally and otherwise. the son gets absolutely depressed after every single visit with her and has mentioned some possible abuse going on with her, so Devin cut her off, and now she’s a monster that’s just kind of in our lives now, tormenting these people I love. recently, Preston was begging to see his mom on Mother’s Day, so Devin tried to reach out, but she came up with some bullshit excuse not to, and Preston is crushed. She’s gross. again, negativity toward others only hurts you, so I’m hurting

here’s some GOOD STUFF

LOVE! I’m in love and it’s just about how I always imagined it would be when I really found someone special...there’s no weird tension or bitterness. there are complications, because he has a kid and so he lives with his parents while his son attends school there until he gets a good computer-y science-y job, but these don’t feel like dealbreakers or like there’s ultimatums, they’re just things that I feel confident we can get through. I don’t write about him much, which I think is a key difference...I feel no angst about our relationship, I don’t feel resentful toward him for any reason nor do I feel defensive around him or anything. it’s comfortable...it’s undramatic, but it’s not unremarkable. it’s healing. 

I think I’m top of my class...or at least in the top 3...which I’ve never been able to say. I’ve always had shit grades, zero work ethic and a brain that’s hard to articulate and show my work (which is why this type of journaling helps, I think, because otherwise it’s just all jumbled in there so I’m just generally distressed) and it feels good. I have to go buy my honors tassel...

I bought a playstation 4 because I could technically afford it, and it’s proven to be a very good tool for unwinding and figuring out how to do the “detachment from death” thing by keeping my activities on it very light and happy...I can watch netflix and stuff, and I’ve been playing a LOT of Stardew Valley and Katamari and some puzzle games...I think if it will be shared in a future household, I’ll make a rule that nobody can play violent games when I’m around, because I’ve found that that’s a bit of a trigger (ha) for me lately...guns and car crashes...but back to the good stuff, I love my playstation

I’m tired and I should have gone to sleep like 2 hours ago but I was crying on the toilet earlier and decided that I needed to type some thoughts out...

[bonainfasciculis]

2020 DNF List

Xenoblade Chronicles 3D; abandoned after ~2 hours This is probably a contentious choice to have on a list like this, though I clearly haven’t really given this a fair shake either. I think it’s probably partly to do with the learning curve of its rather involved format? Thinking of swapping this version out for the Switch one instead in the hope that might make it a bit more accessible to me.

Super Mario 3D Land; abandoned about 3/4 of the way through the game No great love or hate either way for this game, just kind of got distracted by the other torrent of games that became available to me after getting a Switch. Might finish it someday.

Where the Water Tastes Like Wine; abandoned after ~2 hours The premise of this game is great, and I like its rather non-standard approach in defining what a game should look like, but it just plays so goddamn slow. I found travelling across the country extremely frustrating - none of the options were really any good - and it’s unfortunate because that makes up far and away the largest part of what you spend your time doing in this game. The voice acting is also great, but it never takes anywhere near as much time to scan the dialogue as it does to read it aloud, so most of the acting gets lost behind an A button mash anyway. I want to love this game, but I just never find myself wanting to reach for it.

Child of Light; abandoned after ~2 hours Call me petty, but I just could not manage to get past this game’s unbelievably naff rhyming dialogue. It made me want to skip through all the cutscenes and gave me no desire to attempt to follow the story. I thought the battle mechanic was quite interesting and enjoyable - not sure if this is common to other games in the genre, but it was new to me - but between the dialogue and an art style I didn’t really care for, this one’s been left by the wayside.

Wonder Boy: The Dragon’s Trap; abandoned after 01:48 I played the original Wonder Boy on a Sega Master back in the day and figured a remake of another game in the series might be fun, but I couldn’t really get into this one. Felt like it was going to be a bit grindy for my tastes. I do think it looks great and switching between the art styles is cool, but I don’t think I’ll be doing much more than dipping in and out, if even that.

Katamari Damacy; abandoned after ~4 hours Heartbreaking for this to be on my list, but I am part of the small percentage that gets enormously motion sick from this game. A huge shame, because it’s one of those games I’ve wanted to play for literal decades now - I pushed through the first couple of levels but I just can’t make it work for me.  The theme song has nevertheless taken up plenty of real estate in my brain.

Guacamelee! STCE; abandoned after ~4 hours I picked this game up hoping for a fast, snappy, lighthearted palate cleanser alongside playing FF7, but unfortunately it didnt quite work out for me. I really liked its visual and thematic inspirations (though perhaps the art style a bit less) but I didn’t find the character particularly enjoyable to move and I found the arena format a bit tedious. I quit it altogether after an incredibly frustrating sequence where the controls just felt buggy and would not allow me to break this stupid fucken block, though I think I actually ended up getting through most of the storyline.

Thumper; abandoned after ~5? hours Look, I really like this game, but its gets to be a bit too much a bit too fast.

[lizwuzthere]

I was planning on writing a bit and answering asks this weekend, but on Thursday my brother gave me my Christmas present- he went in with his girlfriend and got me a PS4

I got PlayStation Now and am playing old PS3 games that I’ve wanted to play for years.. played all the way through Journey no fewer than six times.. cried at every single ending sequence fuck it’s so good. Surprisingly still met people in the game even after all these years..

Anyway, what I mean to say is I wanted to try and update something by the end of 2017 but honestly I don’t know if my dysfunctional brain is going to be able to resist fucking katamari-ing until 2 am every night so we’ll see... I’ll still try :U

[soft-butch-cassidy]

Cas I'm having a bad brain day™ everything feels like it's in a fog and it feels like there's a constant buzzing in the back of my head you have any suggestions on things to do/watch to help out?

i’m not a professional so take what i say with a grain of salt? but when im in a Mental Illness Time i usually try to go take a shower. the hot water clears your sinuses so breathing is easier, the water moving is a white noise that helps you think clearer, you’re alone so no one can bother you, and the motions of cleaning yourself are repetitive, and you just feel better when you’re clean and smell good. i also like to bundle up in a big soft blanket if it’s not too hot and watch funny videos. i usually go back to game grump’s bloodborne, kirby, katamari forever, or some achievement hunter videos like various minecraft, gta, 7 days to die, or one-off episodes. recently ive been watching muselk, bazza gazza, and tyrodin so a few of those are making their way to my unwritten “rewatch when having a mental illness day” list. 

eating and drinking can help too. try making hot tea in whatever flavor you like. at night, try herbal tea, or decaf. caffeine can give you headaches and make it worse. eat something filling. a sandwich, some cookies, pasta, even just toast. something comforting. or you can opt for something more flavorful. im not a fan of spicy food much, but it can help with making you feel a little more real when all you’re thinking about is “oh god my mouth is on fire” lol

and if you have any mindless hobbies, do something with those. art, crochet or knitting, etc. you can even just try coloring those coloring pages that are so popular (my sister does this, though it doesnt help me personally very much) or try stim things like slime or clay. i wouldnt recommend writing, though. doesn’t work out well for me. listening to music, probably either something relaxing or something very energizing, or just background noise (try mynoise.net or tabletopaudio.com, those are what i use). if you want to feel more aware and awake go for more fast-paced upbeat music, or if you want to relax and try to go to sleep, try something calmer. which brings me to napping. sleeping, whichever, it’s great. as long as you’re not leaving anything important like an essay due in an hour or w/e, if you’ve got time, trying to nap for a few hours or going to bed early can help so much. 

sometimes video games can help? sometimes not so much. i’ve found that sometimes if i’m playing for a long time i dissociate harder when i stop playing if i play while having a bad brain time. maybe it depends on the game. something like stardew valley or pokemon or zelda might be good though, instead of mindless violence or pvp competitive-type games. 

i hope this helps, anon! and if things get too bad on a regular basis, try contacting a professional! everyone gets bad brain times, and definitely is worse for people with mental illness. but if it gets to be debilitating, too frequent, or you’re having worrying thoughts because of it, it would help to see a doctor about it. my tips are more for like, just getting through an episode of dissociation or general low mood and all that. 

good luck anon! i hope you feel better

[mattodayo]

The Games of 2017... so far

Inspired by a buddy of mine’s blog, wherein he listed his games of 2017. I decided to write up my own record of what I played this year. There are some notable missing games on my list, and that’s more of I haven’t gotten around to getting (to) them yet. Some games like Resident Evil 7, I haven’t played yet because I haven’t been able to track down a PlayStation VR yet (damn you crazy Japanese scalpers and your lotteries). Anyway, I’ll begin my list with

The Oldies (games that came out before this year that I finally got around to playing or just felt like replaying for various reasons).

The Last Guardian

I started this game late last year and eventually finished it at the beginning of this year. Like everyone, I struggled with the controls and getting Trico to follow my orders. I trudged through and finished the game. The ending was quite satisfying despite how tedious the journey was. Was it one of the best games of last year? Probably not. Was it worth experiencing? Definitely.

Final Fantasy XV

I heard mixed things about this game before I finally started playing it. I kept those impressions in check and played it for myself. The first half of the game is very good. The latter half, not so much. I didn’t think an open-world setting would work well with Final Fantasy, but surprisingly it did. I didn’t feel super attached to the characters or story, and was pushed even farther away when the characters pulled complete 180s. (Gladio, why do you suddenly gotta be a dick?). That said, the game wasn’t as bad as some people claimed it to be, but it wasn’t great. It’s a very middle of the road kind of game. (Ha!) Check out my review of Final Fantasy XV on YouTube for more of my thoughts on the game!

Katamari Damacy

I saw this game was on sale as a PS2 classic on PS3 for like $3 or something. Crazy cheap! I’ve played a few of the Katamari games before, including this one but never actually completed it one. I rectified that with this game and enjoyed it just as much as I did before. It made me wish they would make a new Katamari game on consoles that was mobile, free-to-play bullshit. Put it on Switch please?

Overwatch

This is unfair to list because it’s an evergreen multiplayer game. I came back to this game twice this year because of the events they do every known and then. Once was for the PvE Uprising event which I briefly played. The other was for the 1-year anniversary event. Whenever I play just for funsies, I usually just do the Mystery Heroes mode because it’s pretty low-stakes, and it gives me a chance to try heroes I don’t usually play as. Splatoon 2 is out soon, so I’m afraid that game will replace this as my go-to multiplayer shooter.

Devil Daggers

I’m not much of a PC gamer, partially because I primarily use a Mac and partially because I can never wrap my brain around Mouse and Keyboard controls (excluding MMOs and RTS’s). Devil Daggers is a game that I found out about early last year, but it didn’t come out for Mac until pretty late last year. I found it on sale for $2 which is $3 less than its original price. After getting used to the controls and getting in the flow, I was hooked. My best score so far is like 80 seconds. But I think the appeal of this game is comparing your score with your friends’ on the leaderboards. Unfortunately I have no friends (who had this game) and so I generously decided to buy the discounted game for three friends. Two of which haven’t even touched it yet. The one friend who did play gave up early until I egged him on to beat my score. He eventually did and I haven’t played it since.

==========

Games of 2017

Disc Jam 

Disc Jam is a 3D reimagining of the competitive Neo-God classic Windjammers. I haven't played this game as much as I'd like but that's mostly due to its focus on online multiplayer, which I have had no luck getting into a match. The local multiplayer is ok but I don't see myself sticking with it for long.

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

My first real game of 2017 was none other than Breath of the Wild. It was a great way to kick off the Switch launch and really benefits from the handheld mode. The game doesn't mess around though, I died within the first five minutes. As you learn how the durability, cooking and stamina systems work, the game is more manageable. With better equipment and upgrades, combat becomes trivial. That aside, the best thing about this game is the massive open world. Discovering and completing shrines never gets old--except those combat trials...

SnipperClips: Cut it Out Together

SnipperClips is a game that caught my eye because of its interesting concept and because it came out when there were no other Switch games. Solving the puzzles is fun and I enjoyed working together with competent players.

Mario Kart 8 Deluxe

Mario Kart is another early Switch game I picked up during the launch drought. I think I got into this one more than the original game because I was determined to get Golden Mario, which requires you to win gold on every cup on 200cc. Also the new battle modes and arenas are fantastic additions.

Mass Effect: Andromeda

One of the biggest disappointments of the year so far. I liked the Mass Effect series a lot and I was legitimately excited for this reboot. Unfortunately, everything about being a pathfinder fell flat. Every planet you settle has the same tasks for you to complete and the conflicts you dealt with weren't interesting either. The combat is probably the most positive thing I can say about this game which was good. Overall, this promising game was quite boring.

Persona 5

Excuse the hyperbole, but Persona 5 is fucking rad! The game oozes with style and satisfies the JRPG craving people have been demanding for years. While I may have spoiled myself with last year's Tokyo Mirage Sessions, I loved this game as well. The battle system is the best the series has ever been to date. While it does fumble some parts of the story, there are some pretty elaborate plot twists. I think I prefer Persona 4 to this, but it's still awesome in its own right. Highly recommended.

Yooka-Laylee

I've been following this game since its lowly kickstarter origins. While I didn't contribute to it personally, I was still eager to see how a modern-style Banjo-Kazooie game would fare in 2017. Unfortunately, it still plays like a 1998 game with all of the quirks of that era. It satisfied my 3D platformer collectathon needs, but I'm hoping they'll polish up the mechanics in a sequel. If you want my slightly longer take on this game, check out my review!

Snake Pass

The other 3D platformer homage plays very differently from Yooka-Laylee, but has many of the same trappings of that game. The levels are much smaller in scale but are filled with secrets for you to discover and collect. The biggest hurdle this game has is its slightly unorthodox controls and play style. Controlling the snake takes some time to get used to, and even I haven't completely mastered it. The levels are relatively short, but if you're trying to 100% everything, the game can be pretty frustrating with brutal checkpoints and tight margins of error.

NieR: Automata

I've heard many good things about NieR: Automata, and after seeing it on sale, I decided to give it a try. At first the game felt boring because I wasn't feeling the combat or the general vibe of the game. It basically felt like anime Terminator. After completing the first two playthroughs though, things start getting crazy and I knew I had to see it to the end. As unattractive as "playing through the game 5 times" sounds, it's totally worth it.

ARMS

I played the test punch sessions and was convinced that I wanted to play this game. It's a very different fighting game compared to others. Master Mummy is my main as I prefer to be defensive and I like his ability to heal himself. I also enjoy baiting opponents into grabbing me and then countering them with my giant megaton punch. Also, I don't care what anyone says, the motion controls are garbage.

Ultra Street Fighter II: The Final Challengers 

This is the worst example of a Capcom cash grab where they charge $40 for a port of a 9-year-old game that was $15. The appeal of grab 'n go Street Fighter and some discount points on my Amazon.JP account were enough to convince me to get it, however. While the game seems like a ripoff, it’s still better than Street Fighter V.

And that’s all folks. See you in about six months with my final Game of the Year 2017 list. If you want to see my Top 10 Games lists for 2016 and 2015, you can view them on YouTube.

Matt’s Top 10 Games of 2016

Matt’s Top 10 Games of 2015