the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.
capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.
now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.
and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.
and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.
and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".
it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"
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i think collectively we have been too focused on the part of that one tango stream where etho talks about his insane desk setup that we got distracted from him saying HE PLAYS GUITAR???????
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ocd is weird bc I definitely still have it, I just got really good at identifying it and shutting it down. Like I was taking down a gross medical sticker on my wall that for some reason I stuck up there last year, and my brain was like “no don’t do it. You’ll die if you do that” so I put it back on and my brain was like “or…maybe life will get way better if you take if off. And if you leave it life will get worse. Want to make that choice” and I was like really stumped over it, then suddenly I was like ohhhhh ocd you tricky devil… and tore the sticker off. I go thru this exact experience about thrice a week.
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okay so i asked an old hookup for one of my hoodies back and god i feel SO nervous about the whole thing like— i stopped seeing this person over two years ago but the hoodie was my mom’s and it’s basically an heirloom at this point considering she had it for my whole life. and this person, i stopped seeing them because things got super super complicated. but i actually really did like them and now i just ugh. i’m not the nervous type whatsoever and i keep feeling like at any moment im going to throw up just thinking about seeing them again after all this time. i specifically didn’t take back that hoodie in the first place because i knew if i saw them i’d fold instantly and want to kiss them and fuck their brains out for the millionth time. i don’t like opening closed doors. i really really don’t like it. i’m an emotional bitch at the end of the day but it’s hard for me to… let it happen that way. things were so complicated and i just couldn’t handle it. texting them now i feel like i want to ask them how they are and how they’re doing but i don’t want them to think im like trying to snake my way into their life because im not. i just genuinely care about them. ugh fuck. i HATE opening closed doors. fuck me in the face, this SUCKS. how do people even handle this?? i’m like trying to be respectful while also being myself but it’s hard to just force myself to be less sweet.
this person made me feel really… happy. about so many things. cutting them off was something i had to do but i didn’t want to. i don’t know i don’t know i don’t know
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