#so even though I'm not a fan of Twitter it's where I hang out more these days 🥲

[caroll-in]

jumping on the bandwagon of the latest Barbie meme 🤸‍♀️

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my CoD art | Twitter | Insta | Ko-fi | Commissions

[stormblessed95]

Of the many things that bother me about fansites, the main one is probably that the boys don't get to approve which photos of them are published or used for merchandise when it's not official content. The second thing is that we see how they get mobbed at airports and how much pressure they're under to act friendly and smile for photos no matter how they feel. Especially since big hit has asked fans not to show up at airports and the only reason we know when they're traveling is because the information gets leaked without their consent.

When I saw people supporting black n white I assumed that she at least followed the rules about not going to the airport and not sneaking cameras into concerts, but I've seen both types of photos from her. So I was wondering if you could explain why jikookers seem so okay with her and not other fansites?

So I'll post this ask, with the very clear statement at the beginning that I'm not opening this up for debate. Because this is one of those topics of debate that continuously circle around constantly and it's exhausting and repeating myself is something im trying to do less over here this year. My essay of an answer starts here...

Okay, so I'm pretty sure that this came from you seeing this reblog post below. But I'm curious if you actually read it. Because I'm pretty sure it answers your question. Along with the post I LINKED in my reblog because that goes into the culture of fansites in kpop even more.

But then if we want to talk about it more... we can I guess. Since you asked nicely. Fansites in kpop can kind of be linked to the equivalent of concert photographers in the US. If you know what those are/are more familiar with the concert scene in the US. Idk where you are from though. Concert photographers are in general pretty respected and hyped up in the US, even at times have their photos from the concert purchased by the artists themselves. They aren't employed by the stadium, by the artist or the artists companies though usually. They aren't shunned by fans or banned from the concerts. And they share the photos they take online and even sell them, no issues. It's basically the same thing.

Fansites are, for the most part, a very normal, expected and intricate part of kpop culture. Most of the boys often recongize, smile, wave and bow at their fansites (and no, not just at places where they are forced to act like they are okay with it when they aren't, like airports, but at concerts and award shows or going back further in time, fansigns and ISAC events). Or they will move to let the fansite get the best shot of the members they are a fansite for. Compared to when it's a known problematic fansite who are more stalker then fansite, they don't do that and there are even videos/photos of them looking uncomfortable when recognizing that fansite, rather than smiling for them. Like Headliner, for example, A JK "fansite" where we have examples of him looking displeased in her direction and an example of Jimin standing in front of JK in her line of sight, "ruining" the shot and looking right at her, hands on hips.

And because I mentioned above airports, like you did. Let's talk about that too. Because I DO have a post up here reeming people out for showing up to and crowding the boys at airports. It's horribly disrespectful and not okay. Fansites (like BnW and other respectful ones) aren't generally the people you see shoving their phones in the guys faces, they tend to hang back with the media mostly and not get so far up their asses, invading personal space. And media is tipped off when the guys are traveling so they can go and report on it. Its FANS who invade privacy to show up that's a problem, not necessarily the media or fansites, which is expected as an idol. Do I LIKE they are expected to be photographed to hell and back when leaving and entering Korea? Not really, but it's also not the same thing as invading their privacy either. Following them into the airport and onto the plane or to their destination to take photos of them on the plane, at the waiting areas or getting off the plane? Yeah, that's an invasion of privacy and then upgrades you (general you) to stalker. And here is my post about how you shouldn't go to the airport when BTS is traveling. Again, please actually read my posts I link to you.

As for the consent about the boys aproving photos/videos argument, I then have to ask are you against everyone who livestreams the concert on their phones for ARMYs who aren't there to tune in? Or all the people who put the photos up they take at concerts or other events up onto the timeline? Or because it's not a fansite photo, just a watermarked photo from some random fan account, that's then okay? I don't know you, so idk how you personally interact with everything like above, but it's food for thought. It's also something to consider to make sure if you ARE so against fansites, that you aren't liking, retreating, saving, etc photos of any of the members that come from fansites. (The jikook photo above comes from a Jimin fansite btw) Because I'm pretty sure Almost every ARMY has, intentionally or otherwise. Because MOST concert/event photos end up coming from fansigns. And the boys KNOW that and are okay with it. And the company isn't struggling anymore. If they didn't want people "filling in the gaps" of available photos, they could hire more themselves and release more too.

To address your comments about them selling or distributing merch with their photos of the boys that the boys didn't get to pre-approve. That's fair. And it's also your choice to support that or not. Personally, I probably won't buy fansite photobooks, I'd rather spend my money on what I know will go towards the boys pocket directly, or at least towards them. Such as their official photobooks, albums, DVD packages, etc. But all the photos the fansites sell, they also normally just release for free too online. At least that I've seen. And then all those photos they have, they will sometimes hold events for people to buy them as merch. But that's a customer choice for sure. And it's 100% valid to not like that and not spend your money there. BlacknWhite for example, held her own little merch photo exhibition thing last year. Idk what to call it, but I posted here so it did happen for sure. Bighit hosts these same similar types of exhibitions at the end of various eras/concerts you can also purchase from more officially too.

But also again, all idols know about fansites and often start recognizing the ones that are there for them and don't mind them (as long as they aren't crossing privacy boundaries, which I will touch on later here too). For some examples, here you've got Jimin being playful and silly with his fansite here when he saw them...

Changing to make sure the fansites could get better photos during the fansign....

Using/wearing and loving gifts given to them and sent by their fansigns

He still has these focal speakers in his studio. Which was a gift from a fansite way back when

Jikook engaging with BlacknWhite when she is there taking their photos.... AND you'll see in my reblog (first linked post) the post I shared in there, Jimin seeing, acknowledging and moving out of the way for a Hobi fansite so they can get a better shot of him too

Tae had a photo from his fansite blown up and hung on his dorm wall.

Hobi shared a photo taken by his fansite on his Instagram too

Plus, Jimins family (idk about the others, Jimins is just more in the public eye because of his dad's Cafe) had fansite photos of Jimin and BTS hanging on their cafe walls. Jimins dad recently gave a fansite photo to a visiting dignitary that he got framed.

JK blushing over seeing his first ever fansite back during their debut.

The reason Fansites will sometimes get kicked out of concerts is because they are blacklisted (which most are not) for various reasons but mostly due to proven stalking or for misconduct during a concert (which again. Doesn't happen as often as stan twt will lead you to believe.) Bighit baned all photography, so it's not even necessarily about fansites, it's about Hybe wanting to bottle and sell the air the guys breathe because they know ARMY would buy it. Lol they are a corporate company and are focused on the bottom line more than alot of fans like to think at times I believe. A lot of the hate towards fansites comes from people who don't really understand idol culture at times and almost always exlculsively from I- armys. I don't see K army fans complaining about fansites. I see BTS members complaining about media, fans and fansites following them to places like, the mall, or on the private schedules, and overcrowding them. But never about fansites being in events, concerts, or airports from afar. In fact, from the ones who aren't problems, I see the opposite from the members. Jikookers like BnW because she is a jikook fansite and focuses on getting photos of them together and seperate, so it's like a one stop party. Lol other JK and JM fansites will share photos of jikook together when they are glued at the hip (which is often) along with when they with other members too, which is also nice and you'll see plently of people sharing those with no problems either. Again, as long as they aren't problematic accounts.

Fansites who take photos of the guys on private schedules? No. Who get on planes the boys are on? No. Who shit talk the boys and use them only for the cash flow their photos bring them? No. Who stalk them and show up places they shouldn't be and turn into sasaengs and doing anything for a quick buck? No. Fansites who crowd into the boys personal space for the perfect photo or are rude to them/others? No. Fansites who don't take no for an answer? No. But that's a small portion of fansites. Not all of them. Not even close to all of them. And alot of this hate towards fansites comes off more performative for most armys then anything else. Plus saying all fansites are bad is kinda like saying all ARMYs are 15 year old girls who bully people online because a small faction are and that's what people latch onto in an effort to continue to perpetuate hate towards the fandom and BTS themselves through their fans. Not the same exactly, but similar enough I'll make the comparison.

Your opinions are your own and are very valid. I'm not trying to change your mind about liking fansites. I don't love them necessarily either because I would HATE the constant flashing lights everywhere I went ever if I was them. But I also understand the nuance here and the difference between the hysteria stan spaces have made the fansite issues sound and what they actually are and how long they've been around for. Again, your choice over how you engage with them and how you feel about them. And all choices around that are valid. In my opinion. As long as you aren't supporting antis disguised as fansites, I don't see a problem with them in general. For me personally.

Hope that helped answer your question anon. Thank you for asking it respectfully.

[lostcauses-noregrets]

I know new AoT stuff wasn't going to be anything but still an artbook wasn't what I expected. I know it was never going to be about the Ackermans but I swear Isayama should do something about them one day because they are "weakest point" storytelling-wise in AoT. Kenny Levi and Mikasa are all my favorites but also they don't make sense and always feel like something Isayama only invented to explain how they are so OP in a more grounded story where ordinary people without Titan powers are just that, ordinary people. That ask you answered recently for example. They are just... It makes zero sense. Fandom, especially Eruri fans, did so much more justice to this side of AoT compared to Isayama. Because in no world it makes sense that they just discover 2 of their soldiers are literally super soldiers and there can be more out there when they are literally threatened by intelligent titans and a mostly unknown enemy. Don't get me wrong, I love that Yams kept it mysterious which gave the fans creative freedom when it comes to Ackerman stuff. Eruri fans are so creative with it. But he still acts like Ackermans exist in their own little world. No one reacts to them, no one is interested in them unless the story has to remind us they are special (again that ask you answered about ackermans being immune). You telling me Paradis, in desperation under the threat of outside world and their intelligent titans, didn't search for possibly more Ackermans? Erwin who loves things like that never questioned Levi or Mikasa? Hange, who is a science freak and loves titan science in the first place, begged Levi or Mikasa to give them their blood sample or anything? No one tried to weaponize them? Ackermans make no sense because it feels like their story is a side story, a side quest and completely seperated from the main storyline, not because they are a mystery. THEY MAKE NO SENSE ITS DRIVING ME CRAZY

I got this ask last weekend and we've had a lot more information about Shingeki FLY since then. We now know it's going to be a 200 page art book, a "top secret final draft", and "Attack on Titan Vol. 35 which contains the newly drawn manga Bad Boy". There's been a lot of speculation about who Bad Boy refers to with many fans holding out hope that the new manga or side story will be about Levi. (Though I did laugh at the person on twitter who said it might be about Armin and Annie.). So you never know Anon, you might get your Ackerman lore yet!

Much as I would love to know more about the Ackermans, I'm not sure I agree that they're the "weakest point" storytelling-wise". I think there are much more annoying plot weaknesses, particularly whatever the hell is going on with Historia! Personally I can live with the layers of ambiguity surrounding the Ackermans, particularly because they've proved such fertile ground for fic writers, as you rightly said.

The thing about the Ackermans is that, given the king's attempts to wipe them out, it's not clear whether anyone on Paradis knew anything about them. Erwin wanted Levi for the Survey Corps as soon as he saw his strength and skill, but when he recruited Levi, he had no idea he was Ackerman, or what that meant. Levi himself only discovered he was an Ackerman at the end of the Uprising Arc. We don't know from canon whether Levi revealed his lineage to Erwin, but I'm quite sure he did. He certainly doesn't seem to have been reticent about talking about his relationship with Kenny to Mikasa and Hanji in the cart, and with Nifa on the rooftop.

But even if Erwin did know by the end of the Uprising that the Ackermans were a clan of supers soldiers, as you put it, he didn't really have a chance to exploit that information; sadly he was killed barely a couple of months later. Hanji does appear to have some knowledge of the Ackermans later in the story, but again, by that stage they were all fighting for their lives so they weren't exactly in a position to go hunting for more Ackermans to support the Alliance.

Anyway, I can understand your frustration about the lack of information about the Ackermans, and I really would love to know more about them too. However, over the years, I've made my peace with the fact that they are likely to remain a mystery.

[ferdieinceladoncity]

STAR BEAST SPOILERS.

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Hello. All my thoughts about the star beast. As bullet points. Might be long enough to be considered an essay.

. The scene where the Doctor takes the boxes from Donna, notices who she is and just puts them back again was brilliant. Ever the king of running away from a problem at first instinct.

. I expected more of a reaction to Roses name, but that was probably just my fangirl heart, and it WAS pretty funny that he touches down in London and is just assailed with her name twice. The poor guy. Shellshocked.

.The mother/daughter relationship between Rose and Donna is so touching, they sell it so well, so much better than I expected. Donna declaring she will always protect her daughter against those transphobic kids was incredibly sweet, and very believable coming from her.

.Catherine Tate was just as good an actor as she was back in season 4, and balances typical Donna brevity with some genuinely great acting in the more serious moments.

.Haven't even mentioned the MEEP! my baby. As my mum pointed out, it's still cute even when it's evil. Plushie when, BBC? I think if I was there I would simply HELP it destroy London, if it would let me have one little stroke of it's fur.

.That being said, the casualty number in that episode would still be VERY high. Think of all the cars that were swallowed up in the crack and then just sealed again- so many people would have died with no way to even recover their bodies! Good lord.

.I'm not 100 percent sold on the acting of David Tennant as 14 yet: its too much going between the personality of 10 and trying to be the other doctors as well. I have two more episodes to get used to it, though.

.I LOVE YOU SHAUN TEMPLE! He didn't get too much of a look-in but he was pretty funny when he did have lines.

.I have such a love/hate relationship with Sylvia Noble. It's really complicated. She reminds me a lot of my grandma. . I'm super critical of how she acted towards donna in season 4, and donna snidely calling her out in this episode when she's talking about motherhood re:rose is like, wah. But I do respect that Sylvia really does love donna, and I admire the lengths she goes to to protect her.

.I'm really conflicted on the new TARDIS interior. It's not as bad as I'd imagined it had the possibility to be, and it's SO much better than 13s. But it's hardly the homey vibes of 11 or even 12 (with the bookcases.) It looks like a really fun place I'd like to hang out in, fiddling with the RGB lighting and running up and down the ramps. But I'd like to see how they sell it as a place people are actually LIVING in. Assuming ruby Sunday is going to spend time living in there as the next companion.

.The doctors delight at seeing it though is, well, delightful. As someone on twitter said, he really did get the zoomies. Hey though, wouldn't it be cool (not that they have the set for it anymore though, I assume) if the TARDIS turned into the old season 4 TARDIS at some point? Even if it's just a small CGI mirage scene.

.Where is Osgood? Don't get me wrong, the new UNIT lady was pretty interesting. But please don't tell me they've written Osgood away. I still hold out hope to see her when they bring Kate in. Maybe they'll be hanging out together then.

.My dad didn't like this episode, and my mum suspects is was-her words- "he must have thought it was too woke." Possibly. Probably. His loss. Curious though, because he's a genuine fan of the chibnall era. But in hindsight it makes sense. He didn't like the sappy bits and prefers the adventure bits, and I guess the chibnall era had cool CGI and monsters but no character development worth a damn.

.Speaking of sappy bits, the moment where donna and the doctor communicate with each other from between a glass door where they've been separated from each other IS NOT LOST ON ME. you can't put a glass door in front of this doctor. Oh no. You'll give me flashbacks. Anyway, that moment was great. 14 holding Donna when she's dead is great. Rose bringing everyone back and saving the day was a LITTLE hard to follow, and I personally thought it was a weak point of the episode just because of how sudden it was, but whatever, it was still good.

. The pacing of the whole episode really was a bit fast but that's not really a valid complaint, I know that, because they could only fit so much into 50 odd minutes and they had to tell a whole story. I know most doctor who episodes tell whole stories in LESS minutes, but I should give this one some grace because we had to establish the characters and set up the bond between donna and the doctor and the character of Rose as well as have an antagonist storyline. The pacing of the next two episodes might be better.

.On the whole I REALLY like Rose Noble and I feel like there's a lot left unsaid about her that I'm hoping the next few episodes will address. We skipped over the metacrisis thing very fast, right? Her plushies are dead cute and I personally would buy one if I knew her but I can't help wondering if the market for odd little plushies like that is very high.

.TENTOO MENTION WHEN? come on. You can mention the metacrisis but nothing about tentoo I guess? Holding out hope for even a SMALL mention.

.Okay, finally, maybe, the scene at the end with Donna and the Doctor in the TARDIS is great. "It killed me, it really killed me" fresh off the regeneration and he's already so vulnerable and I really love that. And he knows it, too: "I really loved her- do I say things like that?" He's so happy to be reunited with her and that's really all I could ask for. The TARDIS made them a coffee machine because it knows they have soooo much drama to catch up on.

.was lying about the finally. If I was Sylvia Noble and my daughter was donna noble and she won the triple roll-over lottery and gave it to charity I would be VERY pissed. Donna confronting the doctor about it was SO her and it gets me that she made a point of how kind he was. Like. Yeah. He's soft. Yeah. Give her another lottery ticket my man please her fucking house is gone now too

. the wilf mentions break me, especially with the doctor being so earnest about how much he loved him, and I hope we get to see him.

. There's still two episodes they can play song for ten in I still believe

.AND I convinced my mother to rewatch season 4 with me. She was like "you've just rewatched it without me!" Mum. Do not doubt my uber autism. There is nothing I want to do more than watch it a third time in three months over in your company. Please.

......:3 catch me next week for the wild blue yonder review

[thepalmofyourfreezinghand]

There's freedom in clarity. It's been a wild few months for me. Going from a casual listener to Taylor's music to being deeply involved in her songs, mostly her newest albums but also her rerecording projects, admiring her spirit and bravery in taking control back and reclaiming her stolen lullabies, praising her business acumen and capacity to reinvent herself, and somehow kinda of unwillingly falling in love with her and Joe being an adorable couple and that love of theirs that seemed fairytale and continuous love song material but had proven to be so real and enduring, a source of growth and deeper connection for both. Then April came, not even the time of navigating those news and May and MH happened. Never been as disappointed in someone and their till then perceived growth as then and, even though that story miserably ended, the lack of self awareness and responsibility from someone that seemed to publicly keep asking someone else to apologize was astonishing. The restlessness, the super busy schedule, the papped dinners, the neverending new engagements, it all seemed a sign of someone not knowing how to deal in a healthy way with life events, that she had brought upon herself. It was her decisions in the end that shaped those months. Now the football guy. Maybe a nice guy but how can you really know a person only after few times you met? You can't know if he either really supports or understand you. You can't know if you really like him with all his faults and good qualities because you still haven't seen them as well as he can't know if he really likes you. He's nothing more than a huge fan now getting his chance with the girl of his dreams, a girl descended from the stage straight into his car. You can acknowledge nothing now but the thrill of the first exciting infatuation days/weeks. So those PR statements are frankly ridiculous. Empty words that make stans and the media excited but mean nothing at all and bring only a feeling of tiredness and fatigue for people like me. So, I've unfollowed several twitter, IG and Tumblr accounts and decided to go back to a life where I know little about Taylor Swift and her life and if I could sell today the tickets to her 2024 European concerts I would. But there's good in everything. I found your account and through you I got to know more about Joe and his work and life ethic. It was a lovely discovery. Silent Joe, shy Joe, talented Joe, public transportation user Joe, supporter of female directors Joe, self doubting Joe, that Joe is someone whose career and next projects I'll happily still be involved in. So thank you for your approach to all this and for being a fan not a blind Stan. Yours is one of the few accounts I will follow and check, hoping for good news about the man that too many like to use stupid and mean nicknames for but that to me is a greatly interesting man both in his Joe Alwyn and William Bowery versions.

Awwww, anon, thank you! You guys are being so sweet today :).

I get what you're saying. PERSONALLY, I think that a lot of the fatigue that you express is perhaps due to fan's behavior and is not Taylor's fault. I mean, yeah, getting involved with MH was a terrible decision and one that has permanently changed how I look at her, but fans defending MH and his racist comments because "at least he's making Taylor happy" was what really soured the month of May for me. Similarly, those PR statement against Joe/shading him are just part of the game that Taylor has to play, and what really bothers me is fans insulting Joe and making fun of him and being mean to him. Again, similarly, Taylor making a big deal out of hanging out with Travis is perfectly normal, the problem is fans writing fanfics and shipping them and comparing him to Joe to belittle Joe.

What I'm trying to say is that, although it's not been easy, the only thing I'm really "mad" at Taylor for is her dating MH. When it comes to everything else, I feel like the behavior of fans towards Taylor and Joe is what really bothers me, it's not Taylor's behavior in itself.

That being said, I perfectly get it if you feel the way you feel. May I suggest waiting a bit before selling the tickets? You might change your mind and end up wanting yo go to the concert! Still, if you wanna sell tickets you'll have no problems findind people willing to buy them from you.

[yumeka-sxf]

Off to Anime Expo 2023!

My ITA backpack is ready!

And in case my favorite anime wasn't obvious enough already, I also put some pins on my badge lanyard!

So yeah, later today I'll be heading to Anime Expo (also known as AX), which is arguably the biggest anime convention in North America. Since I live near Los Angeles, I've been to the expo many times...this will be my thirteenth year attending! I've even saved all of my AX badges over the years ;)

(if you're wondering why I had to blur out parts of the badges, it's because they used to be personalized with every attendee's full name and city/state. They stopped doing that in 2015).

Even though I've been to AX many times, this will be my first convention since the pandemic, so I'm especially looking forward to it.

These are the events I'm planning to attend (emphasis on SxF related events of course):

Day 1, July 1st

-Spy x Family Panel featuring Takuya Eguchi

Start: 5:00PM End: 5:50PM

Day 2, July 2nd

-Production I.G x WIT

Start: 12:00PM End: 12:50PM

Day 3, July 3rd

-Bushiroad Panel

Start: 11:30AM End: 12:20PM

-Crunchyroll Industry Panel

Start: 3:30PM End: 4:50PM

Any time I have in between panels will be spent in the Exhibit Hall, where 100+ vendors will be selling all manner of anime goods, or Artist Alley, where 100+ artists will be selling their works. And when those places close in the evenings, I'll probably hang out in the Tabletop Gaming room playing Weiss Schwarz and Osica.

Obviously the SxF panel on Day 1 is my top priority. That would still be the case even if Eguchi wasn't part of it, but the fact that he will be there makes me even more excited! But anyone who's been to big fan conventions knows how crazy crowds can be, and unless an event has reservation tickets or something (which this one doesn't) it's all first come first serve. I know I'll have to get there at least a few hours early to ensure I can get a seat. This year AX will not be clearing rooms before or after most events, so that could help. Fingers crossed I can get in! The other events I want to attend will be crowded too, but not as bad as this one. I'm hopeful we'll get a sneak peek of SxF season 2...we've already gotten a movie trailer, and the movie comes out months after season 2, so maybe they're saving the season 2 teaser for AX!

Unfortunately I've been dealing with a health issue for the past month that has yet to be resolved. After weeks of pain in my gut and battling ongoing fatigue, I finally got a CT scan today and found out I have inflammation in my colon. I just started taking antibiotics that will hopefully get rid of it, but if not I'll have to get a colonscopy for further inspection. I wish I felt better so I could enjoy myself more, but I know I'll feel at least a little better once the adrenaline and excitement kicks in. Just keeping my fingers crossed that I don't get worse during the trip...I've been looking forward to this all year and would be devastated if it was ruined!

Anyway, I definitely plan to blog about my time at AX. Unfortunately most of the big events, especially ones with exclusive content, don't usually allow photos or video. But I'll do the best I can even if I can only recount my experiences in text! I'll try to make posts while I'm actually at the expo, but depending on how things go, I might not be able to do the bulk of my posting until after I return. However, I do plan to make more sporadic, real-time posts on my Twitter, so follow me there if you're interested!

[polarpolarpolarx]

Hello, sorry for taking your time, please answer when you want to!! I just want to share my feelings...

Im new to the Bigbang fandom, i discovered them in February 2023... At first i liked TOP (of course) but when i started to discover their personalities, i suddenly was charmed by Seungri. Before getting into the fandom, first thing i did is reading basic info about the group, so before knowing Seungri better, i knew that he had huge scandal in 2019. It didnt stop me digging deeper about Bigbang. I watched variety shows and interviews they did and their performances and i just fell in love with Seungri. Hes so funny, charismatic and charming guy. And hes voice is incredible. When i heard his part in songs and him talking for the first time, i thought "wow he has such a beautiful voice". I liked his voice much more than TOPs (i thought TOPs voice is weird and wasnt sure i like it or not), but i stopped myself liking Seungri from the start because of all the mess that happened in 2019. But. My feelings. Their uncontrollable.

I fell in love with Seungri and i feel sad because I cant talk with anybody about it. Im afraid i would get critisized liking him, so I avoid any Bigbang fans. But I cant help loving him. I wish i dicovered Bigbang so much so much earlier

Hahaha loling at "At first i liked TOP"🤣🤣! But yes hello! Welcome! I'm so sorry you feel that you have to avoid BigBang fans, but unfortunately know all too well where you're coming from; I honestly enjoy liking them more when I'm removed from the fanbase, it's more freeing not to see everyone's doody opinions on every. single. thing! Not to mention no one can take a joke!

But regarding Seungri, I feel you about being hesitant to like him. I'm a newer fan as well and before I read up on the 2019 debacle felt like I had to dislike him just from a moral standpoint. Didn't take long to discover how much of a farce his role in the "burning sun scandal" was (it's a mislabel to even title it that...); personally the more I learned about BigBang I was just like... this guy? Seungri? Really? The guy who can't even hide his own phone and dms on I Live Alone? It didn't line up, maybe because it didn't line up. It's really too bad some fans put their own biases and agenda above basic morality and a man's innocence, deciding instead to support the smear campaign and bury the real issues like the corruption and lack of women's rights in South Korea under the rug. But such are the sheep. (Sorry for going off on it, I just... I will forever get passionate about that whole thing/similar issues.)

Anyway, you should know that there are a lot of Seungri fans, they just mostly hang out on twitter; unfortunately here on tumblr a bit of an ot4(3?) cult has formed who likes to harass and bully off any ot5s as soon as they appear. There are a few of us here, too, though! ( @topsodapop makes a lot of gifs, and has been gifing the recent Seungri content as well.) But I'd head to twitter if what you're looking for is a large community to love on Seungri/talk about Seungri on the daily with, it's just too dead here at the moment, for any BigBang content, really. Makes me that much more appreciative you took the time to send this message aha🥰🥰🥰! Always makes me happy seeing the Seungri fans, you have excellent taste and should be proud💙❤️‍🔥.

[tianshiisdead]

Hello again! Back to asking you some more questions out of curiosity! You’re answers have always been so detailed and insightful!

After seeing a few posts of yours, I wanted to ask, why do you ship China/ Mongolia? It’s a fairly unliked, or at least unpopular ship in the English Hetalia fandom, so I’m curious to see your perspective? That, and how do you imagine their dynamic?

Hii! I'm so glad my answers have been good, I love talking so thank you for the questions! I'm sorry about how long this reply is, its pretty rambly

quick disclaimer: these r my opinions and thoughts, there r sensitive topics and such here as well that I try to treat carefully

SHORT ANSWER

(ignore the 'show' lol it's jus fav x fav)

LONG ANSWER (warning. its pretty long)

Hmmm to be honest, the simplest answer is just that I like and ship everyone with China who is my fav, I really like Mongolia, they have shared history, so I smash them together and call it a ship LOL

It's also bc I like Chinese history and the Yuan dynasty is a pretty prominent dynasty. Plus it's incredibly funny to me to see China bounced from one foreign ruler to the next in that little pocket of time where a part of China passed from Mongolic to Tungusic rulers while the Song dynasty grew and then shrank until it was finally fully conquered by Kublai Khan + going with the headcanon that nation-tans lived with their conquerers, I think China chilling with Mongolia during the Yuan dynasty is a fun image. It's a little difficult to write about because Mongolia (and, less relevantly, China as well) like, fractured a lot? It's not a single line of successive nations, and modern groupings and borders haven't always been this way ofc, so it's always a little hard to parse that in Hetalia terms. But it's fun to think about : )

Also, I will say I follow mainly Japanese artists on twitter and there's surprisingly a rather developed niche of Mongolia/China shippers

Dynamics

Dynamic wise, I focus on old history, but I like a variety of things! ぴよEX from pixiv has some really fun historical comics, the super serious Mongolian Empire and arrogant but expressive China are really cute when interacting, their casual day to day dynamic and interactions despite the situation are fun too. As a big China fan from a purely Hetalia point of view abt an event from many centuries ago, there's a feeling like 'wow he put a lot of effort into conquering China huh he tried really hard lol that's kind of cute... also he was the only one to Truly Have all of China until Qing dynasty came along... the Khitans and Jurchens all tried but were unable to fully conquer China... it was only Him 🥺'

I personally really love clingy China who reminisces about the old days and Mongolia who's a little tired of it, even though it's very unrealistic because the Yuan dynasty obviously wasn't a fun time for Yaoyao and then the Qing dynasty. ALSO was not a fun time for him haha so what would he even reminisce about... it exists in my heart though, a nebulous 'yeah maybe they hang out sometimes and China gets jealous over stupid shit and reminisces thru nostalgia lenses about how he once sat side by side with Mongolia and Mongolia tries to focus on the meal and not on the yandere beside him'. I also have a specific image in my head of Mongolian empire era Mongolia walking around with Song dynasty China tagging along to complain about stuff despite the lack of friendliness between their respective nations. Ahistorical but fun! The few Mongolia/China fics I've read in the English fandom that aren't openly anti-shipping are rather angsty fics about the Yuan dynasty, and though I can see why, I think it's much more entertaining to see their coexistence and casual day-to-day interactions in the ~century that the Yuan dynasty lasted, China's annoying peppiness, Mongolia half-listening to his flights of fancy while doing Big Ruling Things, etc. In general, the base of the ship for me is 'tall, annoyed, and serious x small, annoying, and expressive'. Like the first image I doodled specifically for this ask lol

Its place in English fandom

On the topic of popularity, I can understand why it's not as popular in the English fandom tbh the history between the countries has been very antagonistic and fraught w violence, esp in modern history, the 1900s and Mongolia's struggle for independence and such. and culturally there aren't that many similarities, aside from what's left over from the past rule's influence on culture and then there's a bit of cultural influence up north ofc. And then the topic of Inner Mongolia, as well as ethnic tensions... I'm not really in a place to comment and I'm not nearly knowledgeable enough to say anything, so this is just an acknowledgment it exists and also that it in my experience influences the English fandom, which, I mean good for them doing some research and staying away from sensitive topics and potentially offensive depictions

also the people who ship Mongolia ships in the English fandom tend to be Mongolia biases, and this ship is more of a China fan ship if that makes any sense? Like, if you liked Mongolia you might ship him with like, Tibet, have something fluffy and sweet and not... this toxic ship fraught with recent suffering, but if you like China there's a bigger chance of shipping him with Mongolia focusing on the Yuan dynasty. A bit of bullying for our fav little arrogant old guy. Meanwhile, there aren't that many China mains in the English fandom and the ones who are out there tend to ship him with yt ppl and focus on either AUs or modern history with a focus on China/western relations 😅 which I mean, fine, I do as well dsjjghfljk but fun historical ships like Mongolia/China aren't really popular.

Qing Dynasty rambles, kinda off topic

Another thing: the Qing dynasty! Okay so, I've read like. at least one english fic that had China turned into an oppressive little dickhead in this time period, but IMO and it's a very very personal and subjective thing, I don't think having China, that is Yaoyao, being the main force in the Qing dynasty makes much sense. This isn't like Yaoyao apologia LMAO it's more like, if each distinct and separate people and culture have their own nation-tan, I don't see why Manchu wouldn't. We may be sinicized now and I consider myself Chinese, but we are still a distinct people to the Han and Manchu were NOT Chinese back then!! It should also be noted that while the Manchu ruling class encouraged the mindset of a diverse China, 'Manchu Mongol Han' (满蒙汉) type thing, they were still conquerors who conquered China, Mongolia, and then a bunch of other places, and there was a hierarchy involved that had Han Chinese below Manchu. There were Han (and Mongolians and other ppl) who were promoted and integrated into the banner system or given Manchu clans or whatever and they were allowed to send their daughters in as concubines but the upper class was generally Manchu and there was a (failed) effort to retain traditional culture, meaning it can't be taken as 'Manchuria was consumed' sort of integration. Shoving 'well China was not in charge of China' in there kind of... changes the dynamics of Mongolia and aph China a little? Another, maybe more important point, is that Mongolia being conquered by the Qing dynasty in many cases wasn't initially a China Mongolia thing so much as a Manchu/Jurchen tribes vs Mongolian groups sort of thing, some groups fought with the Manchu, others were allied w Manchu Qing for protection against other groups, also iirc there were enmity/alliances left over from when Manchu were a bunch of little Jurchen tribes who either fought with the nearby Mongolic groups or turned to certain Mongolic groups for trade and alliances as protection. Like I get that in modern times HOW exactly the conquering went down doesn't matter as much as that it did and at that time China was the main force even ruled by outside conquerors, especially because the Qing dynasty is acknowledged as Chinese and the current country is a direct successor state to the successor state of this dynasty, but Hetalia content that directly addresses this history should take it into account. It's sort of like hmmm the Yuan dynasty's attack on Japan?

Of course, this is a sensitive topic! Lots of violence. Sooo it's the sort of thing that I'm hesitant to make 'content' about, but I do think about it sometimes. How would the relations go down? Idk bc Qing dynasty isn't one of my preferred periods for Mongolia/China but I thought I'd include it anyways since I've seen this era around in the English fandom and I had a Hot Take I wanted to express. It would be an interesting dynamic, though, bc then China goes hard trying to keep Mongolia in the republic era which was VERY VERY ruled by Han who were miffed about centuries of oppression under Manchu rule, lots of anti ethnic minority sentiment arose from that and the, ah, other events going on in during the late 1800s and early 1900s. so it's like... as a country it makes sense but how do you fit this into the characters? It's not like the characters have to like what's happening in their country of course, but I'd like to situate them in the time and atmosphere nonetheless. It's also a situation where China was getting hella brutalized during the late Qing/Republic era by western powers and Japan, so the usual line about this era for it is 'wow poor baby : (' which I admit I love, but it does leave Mongolia, any and all suppression of culture, and its independence movement by the wayside. A country and its systems can be very complicated because everything happens all the time and there's like a billion people involved but then u gotta find a way to balance it within these individual characters which is hard!! I've read so many fics in this era and it always focuses on a few specific character/country relations and inevitably leaves many big things out, everything just happens all the time huh!

I guess the timeline would be roughly:

Stirrings of trouble -> Manchuria gathering. some Jurchen groups are directly allied with Mongolian groups for protection while other Jurchen groups waged war on them and the Ming dynasty so this is awkward -> wowee China has been conquered uwu Yaoyao enters another Jin dynasty -> battle with Mongolia ig? or talks of alliance? The same thing applies to pre-Manchu unification, it's hard when all the different groups represented by one dude are doing different things and it's hard to say who gets the nation-tan -> ok now Qing dynasty is at its largest. China and Mongolia are both under Manchu rule, Mongolia has a bit more status but China gets kept closer to the rulers and in the palace cause obvious reasons. Do they interact? probably sometimes? i'd have to do more research on the details -> oh no the westies have arrived to do a bit of war and opium -> China has attacked and gotten rid of Manchuria, preferably while crying for the spice, but now that he has Mongolia he doesn't want to let go : ( misery -> and the rest is history. i guess

Closing

I'm sorry if nothing makes sense but I started writing and editing at midnight and I can see daylight through the windows so I'll leave it here

Finally: here's a link to PiyoEX's Mongolia/China compilation! There's a bunch of short comics about the Mongolian Empire/Song Dynasty part of history, some Russia Mongolia China, and one timeline of events with Mongolia celebrating Yuan dynasty, China celebrating Ming dynasty, and both of them side eyeing the new guy for the Qing dynasty dksljhgf

To be honest I don't usually think too deeply about this ship aside from teehee funny 1100s AD interactions and wow what if they went out in modern times and Mongolia had a horrible time and China couldn't stop clinging to his arm like a bug! And ofc that one irl video where China was thanking Mongolia for some sheep the gov sent, and some dude sang this song of thanks that was autotuned to hell, but the ship has a lot of potential for exploration, though it's sensitive and hard to handle correctly imo

[ewanmitchellcrumbs]

Hello, my favourite author. No matter how much I read fan fiction these days to destract myself from the real life. It is starting to bleed in and the problem is staring me right in the face.

I hope you do not mind me sending this, but I just need someone to tell me the truth of "Am I being crazy?" Or "Am I correct in my stance?" I just hope someone can reflect of this as well, or find solace that you are not the only one.

One of my best friends of almost 16 years, sounds crazy since I'm in my early twenties, but we met in the same first grade.

We've been having these "movie nights" every couple of weeks, since adulting is not the same as being a teen, even though I feel like one quite frequently still.

We text over WhatsApp, and we send eachother stuff on Twitter or funny videos via Tiktok.

And I've been trying to get her to come over for a movie night, but every time I send her a text it takes her multiple days to respond. The last one being four days. She's been doing this since last year, it's not a new thing.

Everytime I ask her anything, it takes her more than one day to respond.

I feel like I'm a pretty understanding person and logical to know that people have lives, and I do not even expect you to respond to me within the hour , or 3 or even that day.

But now we've gotten to a place where she takes more and more time. And as a bestie. I know you go out with other people, and you have a different friend group that your girlfriend is in (who is lovely by the way, absolutely adore her.) , I also know you do not do much, we're both unemployed at the moment, and she is quite content to stay home, draw, listen to music, read books.

So there is some avoidance here. I lent her the Evelyn Hugo book that I wanted to read, but I said she can go ahead and do it first and then I will. That was almost three months ago. Which has never happened before.

And I know she also didn't invite me to her birthday party with said other group. Our two other best friends do not currently live in our small town so it's just me and her, and her other group.

The reason why I've connected to our dear Ewan Mitchell is I can connect to his personality really well, since some stuff is my personality.

I'm quite hard to get to know and if you show me compassion, understanding, and respect, you got me for life baby. I'll be on your side rooting for you. I am also at first glance serious, and would rather be in a corner with a best friend, than talking to a bunch of people.

She knows that I only have her right now since our other friends are not here, and I've told her I won't really be hanging out with some of those new people, I tried this past summer, but a nonconsensual groping incident happened within, and everyone is trying to say "that's just how that person is".

That shit does not fly by me, as I'm Slavic and quite blunt and headstrong, I've let them know that is not something that I agree with and we can not be friends. And she was okay with me not hanging out with that group.

I notice her liking and retweeting tweets about "other people respecting your time" and "I love those friends that don't require you to immediately respond to them" blah blah.

I feel like I've been pretty great regarding that! But now it seems like she is the one tnot respecting me and my time? Since now I'm the one rearranging my life.

Is 4 days not crazy at all? Is that a thing? Should I just let her respond when she does?

I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through that.

My first piece of advice would be to branch out, if you can - make other friends, go and visit the ones that live far away, if you're able to - anything to give you a bit of separation and take away the saturation that this person has on your life. If you can't do that then immerse yourself in a hobby that busies your mind - write, make music, paint, knit, draw, etc.

The space will give you fresh perspective and looking upon it with clear headspace will help you to think more rationally.

How is your friend when you do hang out? Is it the same as it always is? I'll admit, I'm a shit for response times - I rarely look at my phone and when I do it's usually in the middle of me doing something else and I'll see a a text or Whatsapp message and think "I'll respond to that when I have the time/spoons" and then a week will pass and I'll realise I've forgotten. It's not that I don't care about my friends - we can go weeks without speaking or seeing each other, but when we hangout nothing has changed - we still love each other, we just appreciate that life is busy and all of us have stuff going on.

If you're still feeling this way in a couple of weeks, ask your friend to chat and find out what's going on - they could be in a bad headspace and are withdrawing because of that, they'd likely appreciate the fact that you've reached out. They may not realise how their behaviour is affecting you and the conversation could be what kickstarts things improving.

I hope even a little of this is somewhat helpful - I hope you manage to heal the rift between you and your bestie <3

[blacklight-ghoulette]

alright so i'm seriously in the dark, what happened?

it'll be easiest for me to quote the reddit posts I read on it.

Going under a cut due to length so I don't kill anyone with a wall of text.

From u/awkwardtiefling:

"For those who make it to this thread first, a summary:

Per(lead guitar aka Fire/Dew) is connected in some way with a model named Paris. Paris supported Trump and has posted culturally insensitive content in the past, i.e. a bellydancer looking costume tagged as "g*psy" amongst other typically associated ones, and posted a photo on Thanksgiving while wearing a stereotypical Halloween store style Native American costume, war bonnet included.

They were also upset that she had a weird phase with King Tut and were unhappy that she was "sexualizing a child." He died at 19 so that's not really the issue. Just seemed like a weird and ultimately harmless phase.

From there, they assumed they may have been dating and got very, very upset. She's in a long term relationship with Don McLean of American Pie fame and I believe he's also in a relationship with someone as well? But they've dug through old photos to jump to conclusions and presumably harassed Per off IG with shitty messages, which is unfortunate because now he's being called childish for completely stepping away and removing himself from the issue. Paris is still being hounded as being racist and dangerous(because she supported Trump and obviously hates all LGBTQ+ people).

He's going to care more for her even if she's not squeaky clean than what some deranged kiddos on Twitter think about her. Sucks for him and the rest of the group, though. I have no doubt they'd start pestering the rest them about this.

edit:

Since I know they're poking around Reddit, it's one thing to point out the issues with a person and it's another entirely to harass someone off the internet because of who they're associated with. Some of you certainly did just that and need to accept that some of you needled him into reacting the way he did. Per is likely fully aware and just happens to be able to overlook Paris's past for who she is now.

As far as Paris goes, she probably isn't going to take any of your concerns into consideration. Nobody reacts well to being bombarded and she's just going to dig her heels in and ignore you the more you do it. If she's ever truly regretful for what she did, she'll apologize when she's ready or has a PR person badger her into it."

From u/SchoolfGhoul:

"Pword stand for Per. It's the real name of the lead guitar ghoul. Twitter folk seem to have a real issue with just using his name. They were complaining about the fact that apparently he doesn't like being called 'Dewdrop' and were making a real drama out of thinking like the fandom had upset him or something. The guitarist is a 40 year old man who probably doesn't give 2 shits about some nickname some fans made. However clearly he does take issue with all the drama and vilification that's being going about over who he chooses to be friends with. It's all really stupid and thanks to a few idiotic, immature teenagers who can't deal with someone else spending time with a guy who they have some obsession with, Per shut down his Instagram. I don't blame him really. The man has had a successful career since the late 90s as a Death Metal musician where he could play guitar without being harrassed on social media. I enjoy speaking to the Swedish Death Metal community group on FB. It's where all the cool fans and musicians hang out."

From u/ya_boi_jayy:

"It's a load of horse shit, I'm sure at this point you already know what's going on but I'm adding on to the story. I was added to a Ghost group chat a while ago for some reason. Here are some things they've said about Per.

"manz is a grown ass adult acting like he's 12"

"He woke up and chose emo😭"

"like babe, you are not the main character. don't get me wrong, i love per but.. ARE YOU THAT DESPERATE FOR SOME 😺"

"yeah he posted some edgy lyrics in his story and deleted his account an hour after"

"Per bestie I loved u sm, all this for some 😺😺? HDNDB"

"man he was so desperate to get his 🍆💦"

"they have matching bracelets?? they're in sweden together? they're definitely sleeping together"

"he deleted his Instagram last time when he got caught cheating on his ex fiancé, he is definitely sleeping with her"

This is such bullshit, people can't mind their own business. It's fucked up. For some reason they hate him now meanwhile yesterday they were all like "omg he's so cute i love him sm 🥺🥺🥺" PLUS they're all saying that they're the mature ones.

Here's what Per posted on his story before deleting it.

"Just cause you don't understand what's going on. Don't mean it don't make no sense. And just 'cause you don't like it, don't mean it ain't no good. And let me tell you something. Before you go taking a walk in my world. You better take a look at the real world. Cause this ain't no Mister Roger's Neighborhood. Can you Say "Feel like shit"? Yeah, maybe sometimes I do feel like shit ain't happy 'bout it but I'd rather feel like shit than be full of shit. And if I offended you. Oh, I'm sorry but maybe you need to be offended. But here's my apology and one more thing, FUCK YOU!""

So, yeah. All this shit.

[tsuki-sennin]

Ohhhhhhhh boy! We have a story on our hands today, Donbura Nation!

Idk about you, but whenever Inoue does his Inoue thing, I get obsessed. This man has a gift for really winding me up, as you've no doubt noticed.

Spoilers, I guess...

-You feel real bad about it, huh Tsuyoshi? It's okay, we might both wind up feeling even worse <3

-Fun fact, before this episode aired, Hirofumi Suzuki and Toutaro (the respective actors of Tsuyoshi and Tsubasa) put up neat little teaser photos. Suzuki's said something along the lines of "You were my best friend, Inuzuka-san", but Toutaro's got mangled by Twitter's into saying something like "Kimono, you were my friend."

-No respect, even from machines.

-Donbura Mutual Support!

-DON'T MAKE IT HAPPEN AGAIN HJKLHJB

-TAROU HJKL:K"

-"Ironically, you fucked up the least last week!"

-...what the fuck was that squeak hkjlhjgk

-"Thank you for doing open heart surgery on me, Don Kaito-san."

-Acting very Tarou!

-...interesting how he's not dying there, maybe he really doesn't believe it.

-"I am one of a kind!"

-Say the two boyfriends with difficulties expressing what they really want but a genuine desire to protect others who'd otherwise shun them.

Sononi: Y'know, I could be wrong, but I don't think imitating your weird boyfriend is a good way to impress him. Sonoza: Bro, c'mon, you were way less creepy when you were just hanging around and acting distant to the only two other people who live here. Sonoi: BEGONE THOTS -Oh shit, they talkin'.

-Aw, they gon' eat.

-...this will end in tragedy.

-Awwww, not in the mood, eh? :(

-The cutest monster.

-...ehhhh, not really a Sun Vulcan fan. Carranger though, that's quality television.

-Hug and kiss the bird man.

-Chef?

-Let's see, police siren... wolf head... Doggie Kruger??? Boss???

-This must be the Tokusou-Ki then. Super Cool. Perfect!

-Don Momotaro!

-Let's go, companions!

-Ahhhhh, Haruka called Sonoza "chief editor"!

-Wow, that doggie got jump!

-Ohhhhh, Tiger Jirou.

-Murasame really fucked you up, huh buddy?

-Had the Dragon to come out for his shift, huh?

-Oooooooh, that looks great.

-Oh, you taught Natsumi how to make this huh?

-This. Do not look good. For Tsubasa Inuzuka.

-Oooogh... this hurts.

-"I bet you tell all the girls that." Ohhhhh fuuuck.

-...hey, Tsubasa, buddy, would you like a bit more champagne? Or whatever the heck this is? Not really a drinker, hehe, but y'know, we oughta relax a little, you're kinda... lookin' a little bit like you're about to go a little stir-crazy.

-Oh, we just

-Goin'

-Okay, bye, see you! Have a nice night!

-Where ya goin, Crane Lady?

-I really have to wonder if the kids and parents who were watching this yesterday in Japan feel just as confused and awkward about this as I do?

-Ah, okay! Crane Lady does fully recognize Tsubasa!

-Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhghhhhh INOUEEEEEEE

-Help

-"Miho-chan?"

-Oh... things are going to go very sour very quick.

-I'm gonna be honest, I did not expect to be so invested in the story of two CGI scrimblo bimbos and the woman they both adore above all else.

-Tanabe!

-That's nice!

-Okay, I think I get the full picture of what's happening now. I think it's possible the Juto's more forceful method of getting Crane Lady to copy Natsumi's appearance affected her a lot more than what happened with Sayama or Mrs. Hanamura, causing an alter to form. I'm, of course, no expert on this subject, but I think that Miho might've formed after Natsumi's no doubt extremely horrible experience of being so violently abducted in front of her beloved fiance and forced to chomp on a paper crane.

-It'd explain why she barely reacted to Tsubasa's presence for so long, even as she was making the dish he taught her right in front of him, but instantly recognized Tsubasa and instantly forgot Tsuyoshi when he said something so personal to Natsumi.

-Hey... Tsuyoshi... are... are you okay? It's okay if you're not, I just want you to think carefully before doing anything rash.

-Sono

-Sonoi, what

-Dude, your styles are not matching up at all.

-...I mean to be fair, Sonoza's one of those guys who probably has like... the one set of fancy clothes that actually fit him. I'd know, I'm one of them.

-Oden. The next Delicious Party PreCure episode revolves around this stuff, so I am absolutely going insane on the inside when that happens.

-Six whole oden chairs.

-Woooooow, okay Shinichi.

-Everybody loves Oden!

-Mmmm... egg. Fish cakes...

-Oden research!

-Devoid

-Egg

-HE ATE IT

-Oh. Oh shit, Sonoi.

-He's back! ...did he leave?

-They're so happy :)

-No haiku for you, macaque man!

-San-juu-ni!

-We were so close to having a normal lunch today, Tarou!

-"Battle first! Friendship later!"

-Dogbird!

-Party Time!

-Here comes the Wasshoi!

-Seiya Seiya Seiya Seiya Seiya!

-Let's gooooo

-Get peached, idiot.

-Big Doggie.

-Let's fuckin' goooo

-Ohhhh, we goin' big big.

-GolDon Onitaijin!

-Pointless!

-NO DON'T YOU DARE

-Oh man, I'd have been so mad at you, Inoue.

-Donbros Utopia!

-We win! Big time!

-Shef

-Sandwich :)

-Oh? What we askin?

-Ohhhh...

-Natsumi Kuramochi.

-Here's the big confrontation.

-Kijino Did Nothing Wrong!

-OHHHHHHH

-OHHHHHH BOI

-OHHHHHHHHH LORD

-GOD DAMN

-Alright, what's the damage?

-OH GODDAMMIT IT'S AUNTIE YURIKO

-Christ, how small IS this town?

-...those are origami cats.

-I am going to die next episode.

-Oh no...

-Oh hey, that's ToQ 1gou's Hyper Mode! Omikoshi Phoenix lets Tarou become-

-Ohhhhhh, wait, nope. Nuh-uh, false alarm! It's just his cape. Sorry folks, didn't mean to alarm you.

[420pogpills]

I'm glad to see you still pop on occasionally on my dash, however occasionally that is- your comments are very calming and reassuring. I'm only hear hanging on for snf and a little bit for Tommy, even though I don't ever see snf leaving Dream any time soon which I sorta understand (how much their lives personally and professionally are tangled up with him rn) but hurts a lot and idk if I'll be here to see things through to whatever conclusion it reaches. I've also unfollowed every single cc on twitter as it's going to be difficult to watch if and when this does get more widespread attention, which ngl at this point I really I hope it does- these girls deserves more support than they're getting. I hope you're doing ok, and finding other things to preoccupy yourself Akvile ❤️

that's really really sweet, thank you my darling 🥹❤️❤️❤️ i'm mainly just staying on here as an open inbox i think haha, because i've seen a lot of people express that they feel very anxious or very sad that so many of their comfort blogs left and of course it's so sad to see your community dissolving. and a lot of people have lost people that they can talk to, people that they used to send anonymous asks to, who they seeked comfort from. so i'm happy to continue staying here as a place where people can still come and express their thoughts, express their feelings, ask me about anything and everything - be it related to the situation or not.

this community means so so much to me, and it's devastating to see it fall apart in this way, because of the person who brought us together. but i am very very proud of everyone who made the decisions that they made, whether it's to stay or leave, i'm proud of people for having to make a choice even though they shouldn't have to make a choice, cause it's not our fault that dream did something wrong, but because of that we have now all had to lose our most comforting corner of the internet.

and a lot of people have also had to deal with a lot of self-grief due to the fact that they have invested a lot of time, potentially a lot of money if they were a frequent merch buyer - and most importantly they have to think back to all of the times they defended dream because they believed in him. that's been very difficult for me, especially because i was one of the people a few days ago pushing back heavily because i was convinced dream would never be stupid enough to dm fans privately but as it turns out he did, and it was a light bulb moment where i realised that i am supporting, loving and defending a man i do not actually know at all. and it scared me a lot.

i have been doing a lot of thinking over the past few days and decided that i think i am done with fandoms. this has definitely been my last ride. i am now only going to enjoy things from the sidelines, and try my best to not get into a community again. because i don't think i could handle feeling this way again, and having to give up something that has brought me so much joy and comfort, all because they had managed to convince me that they would never do something as downright idiotic and wrong as they did.

sorry i don't know why i'm so in my feelings tonight i am writing such essays for answers 😂😂😂 but i just really appreciate you for taking the time to write to me, thank you so much for wishing me well, and i wish you all the best too. hope you're also doing okay ❤️❤️❤️ i will do my best to find something in this life again that brings me joy the way this did, and i hope everyone will find the same ❤️

[golbrocklovely]

Have a wonderful and safe time watching the jonas brothers. Sing along, cheer loudly and have the best time ever! Ngl, little jealous even if I'm irritated at joe jonas's asshattery at the moment. The music is sooooo good though.

i had a really good time at the concert :)

but if i might be so bold as to defend joe jonas..... or maybe not defend him, but the situation at hand/just give my general opinions.

i had thought about saying some stuff on twitter, bc i do have a jonas brothers stan twitter, but the fans on there are like… extra annoying in a way i wasn't expecting lol

i think this is a situation that we should all know ZERO about. idk who's team is leaking what, idk which one of them has someone in their inner circle that is leaking stuff for shits and gigs, but it truly has to stop.

it's sad enough that a marriage is ending, but there are two very young kids involved. hell joe and sophie were so private at one point that we don't even really know the name of their second kid. we rarely see their faces except the couples times either parent has taken them out in public (bc yes, prior to joe being paparazzied the day after the divorce was announced with his kids, that everyone deemed was a pr move/him calling them on himself, he and SHE has been photographed with them before. if you wanna argued he called the paps on himself, whatever. idc.).

all of the rumors that have swirled about sophie did not come from joe or his team, just inside sources, which basically anyone could be as long as they are six degrees of kevin bacon away from him (if not way more). he denounced all the rumors, both on his insta and at a concert where he literally said "if it didn't come from these lips, don't believe it". i personally believe he should have denounced things faster or more aggressively, but him and the rest of the jb crew have always been like snc - pretend drama doesn't exists and hope it just dies down.

but now sophie, who has been a private person for a long time, is going out of her way to say a lot of public things via her ppl and idk if i like that. part of it just feels like petty revenge, and it could very well be. and i get it, the rumors made her sound shitty, so i would get why she would tell the public that she didn't find out about the divorce until we all did and that joe is abducting the kids by not giving her their passports so she can take them back home with her. but let's listen to reality for a moment: first off, the kids are now with her in the US. they had been with joe for like three months while she was off working. second, joe physically can't allow the kids to leave bc he would be against the court order he made in florida where he filed for divorce bc he wants the judge in florida to create a plan so that the kids can see both him and sophie 50/50. but it sounds a lot worse when it sounds like he took the kids and won't let them go back home with mom, even tho they've lived a majority of their lives in the US. if you have an issue with the legality of it all, okay that's fine. but shitting on joe bc he won't break the law to look nice don't make no fucking sense. also i don't believe whatsoever that she found out at the same time we did about the divorce. unless joe hacked her instagram, no one forced her to post the same announcement about it as him.

i think the main problem is that this is becoming fandom drama and it's way more serious than that. this isn't some silly internet feud that went too far or some dumb beef between two random celebs. this is a family that is falling apart and ppl want to randomly throw taylor swift in there bc "omg soph is such a queen for hanging out with joe's ex" or whatever. like dear god touch grass, holy shit. i don't think either one of them are acting like an adult should. you have kids, keep all that shit private. i shouldn't know about your divorce as it's happening.

[zahai]

As someone who knows nothing about ai: the somnium files: what are your favorite things about ai: the somnium files? (the more you elaborate the better (<-said kicking my feet holding my head in my hands (i love hearing about people's favorire things)))

Oh my goodness me, a chance to ramble about one of my favorite games? How ever will I cope with such a situation??? I suppose... I must... Ramble!

And then I took that very literally and rambled a whole lot. I've put everything under a read more because this is just nonstop stream-of-consciousness and I'm mostly unapologetic. Enjoy!

Firstly, and really I do mean firstly, the ARG that launched with the game announcement! I've had a small interest in ARGs for the last ten or so years. Never anything relevant, weirdly enough (somehow I managed to completely dodge Gravity Falls until well after both its series AND post-series ARG had concluded), but having a new game by one of my favorite directors launch with him introducing us to his new virtual idol who he cared for deeply? Yeah I was hooked. A-Set, Uchikoshi's Virtual Star of the Internet, was a charmer. I found her annoying at first, but her weekly vlogs were a wonderful way to introduce us the players to some of the locations and cast members. There was also a twitter component where A-Set would interact with her in-world self-acclaimed Biggest Fan - Ota Matsushita - and real-world game director - Kotaro Uchikoshi - freely. I didn't and still don't have an account on that website, so I relied mostly on updates fed via discord bot for that.

This ARG was... Fascinating. I honestly highly recommend checking out, at the very least, A-Set's youtube channel. It barely scratches the surface of just how wacky things became (three additional characters eventually began participating in the ARG on twitter - Japanese A-Set, Japanese Ota Matsushita, and Japanese Kotaro Uchikoshi - only one of whom was really relevant in the end but they sure did make things confusing for a bit), but it covers more than enough to be intriguing on its own. And honestly? It made A-Set a more interesting character for me to consider on all of the routes I spent not hanging out with her.

Routes? That's right, this game has different endings! A handful of main endings, a couple of joke endings, a few bad ends scattered here and there. And it's pretty easy to figure out what route you're on because this game is.... A visual novel! Fully voice acted! Yeah I spent all that time up there rambling about an ARG that a majority of players didn't know about, didn't care about, or came too late to participate in, and only now am I actually going to tell you what kind of game Ai: The Somnium Files even is!

AITSF is a fully voice acted visual novel with multiple endings, starring not A-Set because she's too busy being a teenage internet idol, where you play as Horny Idiot Special Agent Kaname Date. The horny is important - trust me. Date's not alone out on the streets of Japan though, he's got a partner with him at all times who goes by the name of Aiba. I would say she's the brains to his foolishness, but we've all begun to realize the failings of AI and oh yeah! I should probably let you in on that little tidbit too, huh? Aiba, short for Ai-Ball, is an artificial intelligence housed inside of Date's left eye socket who has been his false eye and as his partner for the last five years. Sometimes she looks like a gelatinous hamster. I want. To hold her. So badly. So badly... ;-; I will never know the satisfaction of holding my own treasured eye in the palm of my hand, seeing myself reflected through an eye that is and is not my own, I will never feel her tiny little hamster feet trod across the palms of my hands as she lists off all the bugs she saw that day with her little cheers I will never be able to fail resisting the compulsion to put her in my mouth and swallow and thank everything for that because sometimes that gummy bear looks tasty even though she is literally the color of water and I wish I could tell you what it is but the best I can give you is a shrug and maybe a nickel.

So Date and his eye, Aiba, now that we finally have main characters for this game, are introduced to Problems almost faster than we are introduced to the characters themselves in-game. We've got a corpse on our hands (okay well actually it's in the saddle of a busted-down merry-go-round horse) and it's missing a left eye, and our Boss is looking none-too-pleased to be tromping around in the mud in her heels. From there, I'm sure you can imagine what Date's role is for the rest of this game. Find out who killed this woman, and figure out why everyone's so cagey about that case six years ago that this one is apparently so similar to.

We've got a job now, yay! How do we do it though, other than clicking on every single thing you can see on screen until every character runs out of dialogue, then panning the camera over six inches and repeating the process? There's also the generic "drive to X location" travel option, but neither dialogue decisions or travel choices impact how the story unfolds. That depends entirely on how you handle certain gameplay sections called Psyncs.

I hesitate on what to call psyncs other than what they are. It's not an interrogation, not in a traditional sense. Special Agent Kaname Date is a member of the Advanced Brain Investigation Squad of the Metropolitan Police Department. Members of ABIS use the psync machine to peer into the dreaming minds of people they're investigating in order to advance their investigations. Not great, but honestly probably one of the more ethical settings Uchikoshi has made up. I'm going to level with you - the insanely unethical bullshit that SHOULD NOT fly is most of the reason I come to Uchi games. They're fucking bizarre and there's NO way people signed off on it, and yet somehow????

During normal world investigation and interaction, Date takes the lead. He's got the bigger body of the Date-Aiba duo, and also the advantage of not being Some Annoying Blond Guy's Eye. Aiba will chime in whenever Date is too pervy, too annoying, or A BUG!!!! appears, and will also scatter in commentary to Date while he talks or looks about. During a Psync, this flips completely. Aiba's got herself a snazzy little Human Look, and everyone immediately dubbed her A Shrimp. A Shrimp Wife Who Has My Heart. I would die for her in any form. I love my hamster shrimp wife with glowing hair and a wig that I want to make some day I love her silly puns I lvoe her stupid faces I love how she teases I think it's so funny that she's decided to fuck with Date as part of her job I love how much she cares I lovve her I lvoe her so much she's everything and I would blow myself up for her no questions asked

sorry

anyways. Psyncing. Unethical, but fun! Aiba gets to explore and Date hangs back and plays the chatterbox role this time. For the most part. Aiba has six minutes to run around in whoever's brain, except not actually! Thanks to ABIS's tech guy, Pewter, time only passes normally while you're moving around. As long as you're standing still, time passes at a much, much slower rate. Psyncs are a dive into someone's dreams and psyche, so a wonderful way for a player to look at what makes a character tick. The choices you make in them decide how the story unwinds, and oh my goodness can it unwind. Before the game launched, back when all we had was the ARG's version of Ota (which actually is no different from how he is in game just so you know), I didn't like him. I didn't like him for my first several hours. I full-on sobbed at his ending because of just how HARD it went. And then I went to my next path thinking that surely this one wouldn't make me cry nearly as hard now that I'd gotten it all out early on the worst character, right?

I don't remember how many times I cried over this game and its characters. I'm tearing up now, just thinking of one of my favorite psyncs, one of my favorite somniums. and Now I'm realizing I never chained that final dot. Oops. You're Psynching into their Somnium. That's all. Sorry I forgot, I really didn't mean to. Anyways. The somniums get more and more complex the further in you get, and there were some that I replayed five or six times before I finally cracked them. They still feel good to go back and replay, actually! The complexity is just deep enough between wandering around investigating things, and figuring out how to wander around and investigate them again, but DIFFERENTLY. Because the choices you make set what path the investigation takes, with different paths revealing different clues.

Wonder what that's about.

I think I've just gone and summed up everything but the OST at this point instead of telling you what parts are my favorite. Truth be told? I love it all. Even the music. There's a lot of that, but I'm going to force myself to wrap this post up before the two hour mark even if it kills me and quite honestly there are a few tracks in there that have me tearing up just thinking about them. I'm also tireed of tearing up when I don't even have the game on.

I. I love the game's story. Not all of them, I don't really love any of the endings where Date winds up shot, but I love the big stories and the small. I love the depth and complexity to each individual ending, the way each one can hit differently once you've spent enough time turning them over, and the amount of care the charactters express through the game. They care about each other. Yes in found family no in found family say what you will but the connections between all the individual characters is just chef's kiss perfection. Every time I go back and replay aitsf I go down certain paths first because I care about their stories most. And I still cry.

If you read all this - holy shit. Thakls. I didn't make my deadline ): that's okay though, because I had fun. I'm gonna replay my game. I can't wait

BTW it's got a free demo and is available on pc, switch, ps4, and xboxone(I think? Idk how microsoft does their. naming)~

[bahamutgames]

AFTERTHOUGHTS - ROUNDUP ROUND 3

April + May 2023

NON Nintendo Switch Online Edition!!

Alright kind of a slow day today but I have a BUNCH I still would like to get done. So I'm taking a small break by writing some thoughts on some games I beat recently. I haven't been doing a TON of gaming this month cause I've been busy doing work or getting screwed over and in my down time I've been going out a lot, hanging out with friends, and not playing too much. I am currently chipping through my next RPG and I'm ALMOST done with it. As well as random small itch games I've been playing and tweeting about on my twitter. But hopefully when I break through this current RPG and finish up some work I can play more stuff more regularly soon.

Pizza Tower (January 26, 2023) - PC

So, something you may not know about me is that I am actually a HUGE Wario Land fan. Like, a MASSIVE Wario Land fan. I've played them all, and I also played and adored Wario World and Master of Disguise even though they're not exactly the same. But yeah I fucking love Wario. And lately I've been really really excited with the wave of Wario Land-likes we're receiving! This and Anton Blast (which looks SO amazing I seriously cannot wait.)

I wasn't able to pick this game up right away but thankfully I had a friend buy it for me which means the absolute WORLD to me for real. And I gotta say, I had a great time with it! It feels awesome to play, gameplay feels wonderful and additions to the formula like combos and parrying is SUPER cool! And of course traditional Wario Land fare like form changes and the general moveset feels great and while I generally am not crazy about beating levels as quick as possible I feel like the moveset is really good for speedrunning in a way that makes it feel nice to speedrun even for someone like me who isn't into it much.

Of course the sprites are so cute, I love the art style. The characters are cute, I appreciate there being multiple playable characters too that was also a great addition. Enemies are cute, the levels look great and colorful. Bosses are all very cool looking and REALLY fun to fight for the most part. The soundtrack is great, I loved the story. I loved the format and the context behind finding stuff like toppins and paying for boss doors. It's all very cool and feels like a wonderful return for Wario Land.

It's small but I also appreciate Peppino himself for being an old middle aged man with body hair as the cool protagonist who gets shit done and like has a huge hero moment at the end where he saves everyone. I ADORE Warioware but a big issue I had with it is that it kinda removes Wario's coolness factor and his strikingly heroic moments from Land and just makes him... yknow... a greedy fat guy and that's IT. So it's nice to see a fat character being more than that again.

It's been a bit since I played it so I don't remember a ton of my complaints. Off the top of my head the biggest issue I had was that the boss fights are WAY too long. They last forever, you have to do them twice. And then they end on a minigame where if you fail you have to do the whole fight over. It's so annoying and makes each one a total chore where otherwise they'd be REALLY cool. Also I know they're not meant to be scary but I did not care for the screamers in that one level at all. They did not do it for me lol. Lastly, this might be a weird way to start this post. But I know this game had a racist enemy design in it. If it's what I think it is, it's a stereotype of indigenous cultures which has been removed from the game from my understanding. But still. This sucks. It's something we see in indie games WAY too often. Too many indie games feature enemies like this. And I know a lot of old AAA games had this too. But it's not okay. And it's something that really really baffles me that indie devs STILL think it's okay to have enemies like this. Stop it.

Aside from that, great entry in the Wario-Land like genre. Was a blast to play (an Anton Blast aha) while also adding a ton of original stuff to make it stand out. I hope to see more and I hope its popularity leads to even MORE Wario Land type games and more games with cute scribbly art styles.

The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog (March 31, 2023) - PC

A much smaller april fools game that also took me a bit to play. But DAMN am I happy I did. This game was a TON of fun! You never see fake games made for April Fools that are like... yknow... actual games you can play! And this was such a cute and fun little game I really shocked by how much of a good time I had with it!

Usually I'm not super into point and click stuff but man this game was SO cute it didn't bug me at all. Fantastic writing, tons of Sonic characters who aren't written to be jokes (I love seeing this becoming a trend again), fantastic and silly references to the whole series (THERE WAS A FUCKING SONIC RIVALS REFERENCE!! THAT'S SO COOL!!!!!) The art is FANTASTIC, the music is nice, I was really surprised at how good and fun the story was? Like towards the end it becomes a real story with real stakes and a pretty moving ending which was SUPER cool to see! Also it had actual gameplay scenes with real timing and platforming? Which was SO surprising but totally welcome!

I really don't have much negative to say? It was free and it's a small april fools joke that ended up being really cool! I loved the outfits for each character (rouge is so hot) AND it introduced a new super cute and hot Sonic Milf! So I say, it's pretty fucking amazing, actually!

Rocket Knight Adventures (August 5th, 1993) - Sega Genesis

This was a game I didn't really have any intentions of playing, but a friend of mine has been asking me for a bit now to check it out. And after playing Ristar and realizing I've been missing out on a TON of Genesis games my whole life, and a total rando telling me I NEED to play this game. I just snapped, I couldn't not. How could I ignore it after all this praise? So here I am! After finally playing Rocket Knight Adventures!

And my verdict? Yeah it's pretty cool! I like the world it takes place in, I like the character designs (Rocket in particular is VERY cute), I like the sprites and music. This is all around just a pretty dang fun game! I liked the gimmick of being able to charge up your jetpack and dash around. And I feel like it does honestly make pretty good use of it unlike Ristar and Pulseman which I talked about before. My only real complaint is that I think the final bosses kinda suck and are a bit of a chore. But I am a sucker for like, edgy rivals who use the same powers as you.

I will probably check out the sequels when I get the chance, though I've heard they're not SUPER great. I would love a new entry eventually that really goes hard into the rocket stuff and maybe has even more shmup levels cause of course I loved those aha.

Super Mario Advance 2: Super Mario World (December 14, 2001) - Gameboy Advance

And last but not least for now, Super Mario Advance 2! If you know anything about me, you know that Super Mario World is one of my all time favorite games! I ADORE the SNES original as in addition to just being a great game, it's actually the first game I've ever played (or at least have memories of playing). And despite the fact the first time I beat Mario 2 & 3 was with the GBA remakes, I had never tried the remake of Super Mario World on GBA until now! But I gotta say, yeah these are great ports!

Super Mario World is just great on its own so of course it's a good game. I still love the sprites, they're washed out here because of the lack of backlight way back when it came out. But I think the new color scheme is nice and still works. I LOVE the music still and it sounds really nice in the GBA soundfont. And there's a lot of really good changes here too! Stuff like a serious playable Luigi, a more serious exit tracker, and having the Dragon Coins function more like Star Coins in NSMB are all GREAT changes that should have been there from the start. But even stuff like additional cutscenes, voice clips (which I LOVE), small sprite fixes on Peach and Yoshi, and the cute fun way enemies roll away with funny sprite rotations when Yoshi spits them out are ultimately not needed but are great changes!

I sort of rushed through this playthrough but I mean, it's Super Mario World, so I wouldn't be surprised if I end up playing more of it and play more levels that I didn't give a shot soon! This is a great port and I still continue to LOVE the Mario Advance games so much! I'll probably have to play it more to see but if I ever get around to 100% completing it I could see this potentially being the ideal way to play Super Mario World which is CRAZY to think about! Good port!

[beananacake]

Snapshot (Richard Madden x Reader)

Part 2

Summary: Your story time Twitter thread of how your grandparents thought you were dating Richard Madden becomes viral and you get the chance to meet the man himself.

Chapter Summary: Months after seeing each other for the first time, you and Richard finally get to go out a second time— and you meet one of his closest friends.

Word Count: 5.1k words

Warnings: PANIC ATTACK (reader spirals out in two scenes, DNI if you easily get triggered), mentions of being cheated at during in a relationship, usage of the word shit, 1 really bad joke/pun, Richard being a very fluffy boyfriend friend (this is a warning in and of itself), smidgen of angst, overall FLUFF

A/N: hi guys! Thank you for reading part 1! I didn't realize you guys would like it! Honestly, the lack of Richard Madden content is criminal. Maybe by Eternals, we'd get to see more fics about him and Ikaris. THIS IS A SPOILER-FREE PLACE btw!! I'm still pissed off I can't go to the cinemas and watch the movie on opening night. Anyone spoiling the movie in the tags or notes, shame on you, shame on your cow. Reviews, comments, suggestions, requests for more parts (and reblogs) are happily accepted still! Still not beta'd so mistakes are all mine. That being said, enjoy part 2!

Bonus Content 1 | Bonus Content 2 | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | One Shot 1 | Part 5 | One Shot 2 | Headcanon 1 | One Shot 3 | Headcanon 2

Richard 📸🥓: just wrapped up for this scene. How was work?

Y/N📸🥓: Tiring. I got puked on by a kid today. I knew what he had for lunch though and I can’t blame him.

Richard 📸🥓: 🤣

Richard 📸🥓: What are you doing now?

Y/N 📸🥓: Looking for something to eat. Not really in the mood to cook today.

Richard 📸🥓: The cast and crew have a week off starting tomorrow. I was thinking we should go to that Korean barbeque place.

Richard 📸🥓: I’d really like it if you’d come along.

Richard 📸🥓: That is if you’re not tired. If you are, we can go back there any time you’re free.

You stared at your phone, dumbstruck. Richard had said he wanted to see you again almost immediately after your first non-date. You thought it was something he said out of politeness—not really, though. A girl can dream, right?— and you pushed it at the back of the mind. You and him had been texting for a few months now, asking from how your days went to how your grandparents reacted when the news of the two of you hanging out broke. He had been updating you of his days on his own, telling you about the cool stunt he did with the harnesses and how he tried to persuade the director to let him try the action scene on his own. Richard, despite his busy schedule, still found time to talk to you via text or in Instagram.

If you are, we can go back there any time you’re free.

Your body was protesting from all the standing and the moving you did at work and you already had plans on just staying in. A bath with your favorite vanilla scent, a bottle of wine your sister got you for Christmas last year, and maybe a pepperoni pizza because you knew you deserved it after today’s events. But the idea of seeing Richard was too enticing to ignore.

You took to your phone again, texting What time will you guys be there?

Richard 📸🥓: Two people from the crew know the place so they’re leading the others to the restaurant.

Richard 📸🥓: I can pick you up if you’re too tired to drive.

You shivered at the rush of exhilaration. Okay, this is beginning to sound serious, you thought to yourself. But friends could pick each other up when they’re too tired from work, right? That’s normal. Perfectly normal.

Right. Normal. If you were friends. You didn’t know where you stood with him. Acquaintances? Celebrity-fan relationship? Acquaintances carpooled with other acquaintances, right? Right?

Celebrities and fans clearly don’t.

But you’re not a normal fan anymore, Y/N. You’ve made out with him. You’ve been texting each other for months about everything under the sun. He’s even asked about when your grandparents’ birthdays were so he can send them something.

Shit. You were spiralling.

You leaned on the counter, head down and took deep breaths. In and out. Nice and easy and slow. Say yes, Y/N. This is tons better than just pizza and wine.

Once you recovered, you replied to his text with Give me about thirty minutes to wash the puke from me. I don’t want to gross you out.

Richard 📸🥓: I’ll be there in half an hour.

Richard 📸🥓: And nothing about you will gross me out 😉

It was the wink face emoji that occupied your thoughts as you scrubbed yourself clean in the shower. Was Richard flirting with you? To be fair, you added a wink face emoji comment on his post with the both of you in a selfie and you were trying to be flirty despite your achingly embarrassing attempts at it. Coming from you, a fan in the minds of many, it was like you were just shooting your shot for him to acknowledge you. You did it with an audience. He did it in a private text conversation with you.

You donned on another of your dresses, forgoing a jacket, and slipped on a comfortable pair of sneakers. You spritzed on a bit of your vanilla-scented perfume despite knowing full well you’d end up smelling like grilled barbeque at the end of the night. It took you exactly thirty minutes to finish up and by the time you exited the door, you found Richard leaning against his car in front of your building.

He was smiling as he pushed himself off, watching you with appreciative eyes as you approached him.

“Hi,” you said with a shy smile.

“Hi,” he said back, smiling and watching you.

You shivered at his gaze. “The shooting today must have been tiring for you too. I can drive us—”

He broke his stare, clearing his throat. “I didn’t get puked on on-set, though.” He gave you a boyish smile.

You rolled your eyes, thankful that you both still had banter even outside of texting and chatting.

“Fine.” You smiled at him again. “Thank you for picking me up.”

“The pleasure’s all mine.”

You followed him to the passenger side of the car, and slipped in as he opened the door.

“You must be Y/N,” you heard a voice from behind you and you whirled around with a loud gasp.

Gemma Chan—the Gemma Chan—was in the car. With you. With Richard.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to startle you!” she said, chuckling lightly. “I’m Gemma.”

“I know! Oh my god, I love you so much!” You exclaimed in surprise.

“Are we professing love now?” Richard asked as he got in.

You ignored him, completely surprised that it wasn’t just you and Richard in the car together. And why were you here in this seat? Gemma should have been seated here; you were perfectly fine to be seated at the back.

“Richard, what is Gemma doing there at the back? She should be here in front!” You moved to open the door when you felt Richard’s hand close on your wrist to stop you.

“She suggested it, Y/N,” he said as you sat back.

You turned your whole body to Gemma, unbelieving. “Please, I don’t want you to be uncomfortable. I’m really okay with being at the back.”

“No, no.” She said as she laughed gently. “I’m perfectly fine seated here. Richard said he needed help with directions.”

“Oh.” Yeah, that made sense. “Right. Sorry. I’m freaking out. I just love you so much,” you gushed, looking at Gemma with a surprised grin. “I love all of your work! You were amazing in Sherlock and I love Astrid so much! I read all of the books and I’m saying this from the bottom of my heart, you are Astrid personified. I couldn’t think of anyone else playing her part.”

She chuckled graciously, turning to Richard. “Richard, you didn’t tell me she’s adorable!”

You were never adorable to people. Your personality always came off too strong even if you were always shy and introverted.

“An excitable puppy, more like,” he said good-naturedly.

You felt arms reach across your back and heard the seatbelt whip from its coil beside you. You turned and found Richard strapping you in, concentrating on the latch as he locked you in your seat.

“Wouldn’t want you hurt during the drive,” he said with a smile.

You felt your cheeks heat up as you looked into his brilliant blue eyes. “Thank you. I’m not too tired to do that myself, you know.”

“You were talking to Gemma. I didn’t mind.”

Of course, he wouldn’t, that hopeful voice in you said to yourself. And honestly, you really wished he didn’t. You loved the attention you were getting from him; all the texts and the updates and even some selfies he had taken. And now you were meeting with one of his closest friends and the thought should have terrified you but it didn’t. Other than meeting the freaking Gemma Chan, of course.

“Is it true your grandparents thought you and Richard were dating?” Gemma asked as the car began to move to the highway.

You were sat properly in your seat now but you turned your head towards her. “They still think we are. I really want to tell them it was an honest mistake on their part but I don’t have the heart to do it.”

“I don’t mean to pry—”

“Please, pry all you want. It’s not everyday I get interrogated by Gemma Chan,” you grinned.

She gave you a courteous smile. “In that case then, what of your boyfriend? Won’t he have something to say about that?”

“The reason I edited those photos was because of my last ex. It was… therapeutic in that nonsensical, crazy way. And if I’m being honest, it was also a way for me to erase him from all of those memories I have with him. Cropping it would leave the photo in that weird size and I’m not really that good with Photoshop to remove him completely so I just put my face, or sometimes my whole body, in another photo.”

“I’m sorry about what happened to your relationship,” she said.

“It… happens. No one would like for it to happen but,” you shrugged. “And it was a good thing that it happened, actually.”

“Why?” It was Richard who asked this time.

You turned to him and smiled softly. His eyes were on the road but his curiosity made it feel like he was looking deep into your soul.

“Other than meeting you two?” You grinned and turned to Gemma. “I finally put that Photoshop course to good use.”

Gemma chuckled. “I certainly wasn’t expecting that.”

“So was I when he cheated on me with my best friend but,” you told her with a non-committal shrug.

“He cheated on you?” There was a hardness to Richard’s jaw when he ground out those words.

“Yeah,” you sighed sadly. “I guess I wasn’t good enough.”

“No, don’t say that. I’ve only met you today and I think you’re more than enough. Any man would be lucky to have you.”

You brought a hand to your chest, touched at her words. “Have I told you I love you, Gemma? You are my queen and I love love love you.”

“What about me?” Richard grinned and turned to you as he pulled over at the red light.

“Hmm? What about you?” You teased, grinning. You shoved him lightly on the arm. “I’m joking. You know I have feelings for my unofficial celebrity boyfriend.”

“Good ones, I hope.”

“Nuh-uh. I’m not gonna say. Gotta keep you on your toes.”

He laughed his signature laugh as he continued to drive. Gemma went back to asking more about you and you were more than pleased to know she already considered you as one of her closest friends. You were shy about asking her questions but she just told you to go on. She regaled you with her tales from her travels to her work and which of her characters she loved doing. She even gave you a bit of information about Richard, much to his chagrin. It was only when you arrived at the restaurant that you realized you didn’t help Richard at all with the directions. The thought of him wanting you to sit beside him made your heart flutter.

You stepped out of the car and almost walked ahead when you felt Gemma sidle up to you and kept you close.

“You are sticking to me like glue tonight. We aren’t finished with our stories yet,” she told you.

“My queen, I am at your service.” You grinned and went ahead with her, hearing Richard trail behind you two closely.

You saw a big group of people wave at your little party and it just dawned on you that these people knew each other for months—years, even—and you’ve only known Richard for a few months and Gemma a few minutes. Your feet froze on the spot as you watched the cast and crew and how they interacted with each other.

Maybe this is a mistake. You clearly don’t belong with them. You’re almost intruding on them after they’ve worked so hard today, that little demon on your shoulder whispered to your ear.

“Y/N? What’s wrong?” You heard Richard on your left and felt his hand gently squeeze your arm.

“I—I—” You felt your throat closing in on it itself. “Excuse me.”

You broke free from them and walked out of the restaurant and into the cool alley. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, trying to stave off an incoming panic attack. You’ve been having a lot of those lately, ever since the news broke out. You found people giving you strange looks since the paparazzi photos were released and heard some criticizing remarks behind your back. You thought none of them until you heard one of your so-called “friends” backstab you.

“I wonder what he saw in her,” she had said on your lunch break one time. She hadn’t seen you walk in because her back was to the door you went through. “She’s too plain and she’s clumsy. I think she may have embarrassed herself while going out with him. Why do you think he never contacted her again? She’s just going to ruin his career.”

Your thoughts were running rampant from that painful memory and you began to hyperventilate. You cupped your hands to your mouth to keep as much air in as you tried to breathe normally. Your heart was beating double time and it hurt. You felt like you were being crushed to death by a phantom weight and there was nothing you could do even though you were in an open space with the cool air around you. The air had gotten colder all of a sudden and you gasped out a desperate breath.

“Y/N?”

You were still breathing with your hands to your mouth when you looked up and saw Richard strode to you. He was frowning but it was more out of concern than pissed at you for suddenly walking out on them.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

Your shoulders were shaking from feeling breathless and breathy at the same time. You only managed to shake your head as you turned away, feeling embarrassed to be seen in this state.

“How can I help? I want to help you,” he said. “You’re shaking. I’m going to put my jacket on your shoulders, okay?”

Before you could nod, you felt the soft material of his jacket drape on your shoulders. It was warm and a bit weighty but it was comforting. You took your time to catch your breath and when you finally did, you turned to him.

“Thank you,” you rasped. You pulled his jacket closer to your body, smelling his scent of sandalwood and musk.

“Are you feeling better now?” he asked.

“A bit. I’m sorry—”

“You’ve nothing to be sorry about, Y/N. Was Gemma too much for you? I could tell her to take it easy on you when we go in.”

“No, no. It’s not that. It’s…” You swallowed another forming lump on your throat and quickly shut your eyes. “I don’t know anyone besides you and Gemma. I don’t want to intrude on you after a long day of work.”

“Did someone tell you that?”

“N-No but I feel like it.” You opened your eyes and found him peering at you worriedly. “I saw everyone when we got in and I just can’t help feeling like I don’t belong. All of you worked with each other for so long and I’m this new person to the group. I’m an outsider.”

“Have we made you feel that way?”

You shook your head. “I’m really sorry, Richard.” You felt your eyes heat up as tears welled. “I’ve heard people say things about me and that whatever I’m doing, whatever this is, will just ruin your career.” Your tears fell from your eyes now, coming unbidden and refusing to stop.

“Who said that?” He looked angry and pissed and maybe even pitied you. You hated how pitiful you truly were.

“Some friend—”

“That’s a gracious way of saying ‘traitor,’ Y/N.” His jaw was clenched again. “I wouldn’t call them my friends if they told me I’ll only ruin someone’s career.”

You swallowed and nodded because you had nothing left to say. You wiped your tears with your hand, refusing to look at him in case you saw that pitying look on his face again.

“We’ll get you some new friends, Y/N. There are a lot of people there who would want to meet you. I know they’d like to be your friend.”

“How would you know?” You tried not to sound petulant but it still ended up that way even to your ears.

“Because I’ve worked with them and I know how they are like. They’d be lucky to have you as a friend. I know I am.”

You looked at him. He was smiling at you in that empathic way of his and you felt yourself nod. “Okay,” you said in a small voice. “I’m sorry I made a scene.”

“Nothing to apologize for, Y/N. I know how it feels to be overwhelmed too.” He tipped your chin up, wiping away a few tears you missed.

You nodded again and moved to take off his jacket but he only stopped you. You slipped your arms in the sleeves instead, letting it engulf you as it ran past the tip of your fingers.

“Keep it on as long as you need. We’ll go inside now, okay? If you need time to freshen up and would be shy to come back to our table alone, I can ask Gemma to help you. Do you want that?”

“I don’t want to impose,” you said in a small voice.

“I’ll wait for you, then. I’m not leaving you until I know you’re okay.”

You almost wept at how perfect a gentleman he was. Despite the overwhelming memory and him seeing you in this vulnerable state of yours, you still felt giddy that Richard had followed you to the alley to make sure you were okay and had offered to walk back to the table with you after you freshened up. If only I wasn’t this sorry excuse of a person, that same demon on your shoulder said to your thoughts.

You put a stop to another rising panic and turned to Richard again, finding him watching you carefully. “Okay. Thank you, Richard.”

“You’re welcome, Y/N. Let’s head in?”

Richard walked ahead of you and stopped by the two tables that were joined to accommodate your large group. He told them your name and you peeked from his side to give a small wave and heard him say you just needed to use the restroom. They were all nice and told you to take your time and asked for your order so they could tell the server. Richard had answered for the both of you, telling them the cuts of meat you like and then he was leading you to the restroom.

You slipped inside and proceeded to wash your face. Despite being a venomous friend to you, you were thankful she gave you the waterproof mascara that you wore tonight. You reapplied your makeup and fixed how you looked until you were sure that none of that breakdown was evident on your face. When you were satisfied, you went out of the restroom and found Richard with some of his fans, taking photos with them.

You smiled a small smile, watching how this man, who was on his way to becoming a big celebrity, be humble and respectful of the people around him. He was everything you ever dreamed of in a man and you were lucky to be one of the people he called his friends.

“Thank you, Richard! I can’t wait to see your new movie!”

He chuckled lightly. “Thank you. I hope I don’t disappoint.”

You never disappoint, Richard, you thought to yourself with a soft smile.

He turned to you and smiled. “Ready to go back?”

You nodded and followed him to the table. He pulled out a chair for you as you sat beside Gemma. Richard sat on your other side. You smiled again at everyone, introducing yourself. Everyone took turns introducing themselves to you. They were a lot and it was a struggle to keep up, but apparently you found a pattern when they introduced themselves. They were always grouped by the kind of work they did. Gaffers sat on the left side of the table, the dolly grip were beside them, production assistants sat on Richard’s right, best boys after them, and the stunt performers were before you. There were still a number of them but with them being clustered, it was easier to remember who they were. Richard and Gemma were the only actors who came. The others were busy or had gone home. You would have loved to have met Don Lee or Kumail Nanjiani but having Richard and Gemma there made up for it. You didn’t want overwhelm yourself again.

…

“Y/N, I just want to say this. I am a huge fan of your Twitter thread.” One of the production assistants told you as the night went on.

You were slowly getting your bearings again; cracking up jokes and sharing stories and generally just having fun with the people around you. Richard and Gemma were right; everyone was nice and they all accepted you with open arms, like you were always a part of their group. All that was missing was your name to be up in the crew credits of the movie to make it official.

You turned to the production assistant, Annie, and smiled. “Thank you. I never thought it would actually go viral to the point I’d meet Richard.”

“Have your grandparents met him yet?”

You choked on your drink and coughed a bit. “N-no. I don’t see the point to introduce him. They’ll know we’re not dating.”

There were scattered snorts around the table and you raised your eyebrow at them.

“Yeah, right.” One of the gaffers said. “‘Not dating.’ Richard’s practically leaning towards you throughout the night, all broody and protective.”

“Doesn’t mean anything,” you countered weakly. You blushed hard and took another drink of your Soju to distract yourself.

It was true, though. Some time in the night, his seat had gotten closer to yours and he often had his arm on your backrest. You tried not to think of it but you just knew that if you leaned closer to him, you would feel the heat radiating off of his body.

“If that’s the case, do you want to go out with me, Y/N?” The best boy beside Annie, David, asked.

You were about to reply when you felt Richard tense beside you. You leaned closer to Richard, hand on his thigh, hoping to lessen whatever tension he had that had built up, and popped your head out to look at David with a soft smile.

“Sorry, David. My grandparents would be crushed to see me two-timing Mr. Madden,” you said instead. “They’re still holding on to their idea of me and Richard dating.”

“Why not make it a real thing, then?” Gemma asked you, giving you a feline smile and raising her brows in challenge.

You didn’t know the answer to that. Actually, you do, Y/N, that little shoulder-devil spoke through your thoughts. Richard just doesn’t see you that way, even if he acts like he’s worried or when he’s feeling flirty around you.

“When that happens,” Richard spoke from beside you. “You’ll all know.”

He said when, not if. You were sure the crew noticed that one too.

“C’mon, Richard! You’re very secretive!” Gemma protested as the rest of the group murmured their assent.

“You’d have to be very good at keeping an eye out for details then,” was all he said as he smiled at you.

You smirked at him and took your shot glass, clinking yours with his as you both downed another round of Soju.

The conversation moved on from there to personal ones. You learned of their birthdays and got invited in some of them. They’ve told each other stories of their kids and their milestones, of their relationships and shared some advices to everyone. You were so enamored in all of their stories that you missed the way Richard watched you closely with a soft smile on his face. The night wore on until your party was told the restaurant would be closing in ten minutes.

You excused yourself, handing Richard’s jacket back to him and made your way to the bathroom. You were in the cubicle when you heard two voices from that of your group talk outside your door.

“I like Y/N. I’m glad she got the chance to meet Richard.”

“Yeah. I’ve never seen him this happy since we started working.”

“I hope she sticks around. I heard dating celebrities are hard.”

“Yeah, me too. She’s taking it in stride, though. I know they can make it work.”

“I think they’re already dating. Have you seen how he reacted when David asked Y/N out? He’s crazy about her.”

“She’s crazy about him, too.”

“They’re just making us play a guessing game…”

You tried your best to hide your smile as you went out of the restroom. Gemma approached you and dragged you towards Richard, holding out her phone to one of the gaffers.

“Take some photos of us, please.” She said to the gaffer as she wrapped an arm around you.

Richard took his place on your other side and leaned himself into you, mashing his face on you hair, kissing that side of your head and wrapping his arms around the both of you and Gemma. You smiled widely at the camera and hammed it up for the second shot, holding both of their heads closer to yours. Gemma thanked the gaffer as she took her phone back.

“I’m going to ride with Annie tonight. You two drive safe, okay? Can I expect a text from you two when you get home?” she asked.

You nodded. “What’s your number?”

“Richard can give it to you. Bye, Y/N. It was so good to meet you.” She hugged you and Richard before she went away.

The rest of the crew had gone after telling you goodbyes and see you later’s and you and Richard were the only people left. You shivered in the cool night air, an action that didn’t go unnoticed by Richard. He draped his jacket on you once again and placed his hand on the small of your back as you two walked to his car.

Once you were settled in the car and on your way towards your apartment, you turned to Richard.

“Thank you,” was all you said.

“For what?”

“For inviting me over and letting me meet those awesome people.”

He smiled. “They told me the same thing, you know. Thanked me for introducing you to them.”

You chuckled lightly. You both sat in companionable silence for a while. You arrived at the apartment after a few minutes.

“Richard, did you know about that soldier who got shot but didn’t get killed because of the penny in his pocket?” you asked as you stepped out of the car.

“I’ve read something about that. Why?” He closed your door, eyebrow raised at your random question.

“Would that penny count as lifesavings?” you asked with a straight face.

He laughed heartily. “Y/N, where do you get that?”

“A magician never reveals their secrets,” you winked and stopped by the main door. You looked up at him and smiled. “Thank you for everything you did for me tonight.”

“I don’t think I’ve done enough, actually.”

“You’ve done more than enough.” In an uncharacteristic surge of courage, you palmed his jaw and went up to your toes to kiss him deeply.

He returned the kiss with equal fervor, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you up a little. Your arms wrapped around his neck on their own volition and kissed him some more, your tongue darting inside his mouth and tangling with his. You pressed yourself against him, feeling all the hard planes of his body. He let out a groan as you kissed him some more.

He set you down and touched your forehead with his a few minutes after, breathing hard and deep. You swallowed as you looked at him again, smiling softly.

“Would you like to go out with me again?” he asked you, breathless. “Just us this time.”

“Okay.”

He smiled, dropping a gentle kiss on the tip of your nose. “Okay.”

You pulled away, waving goodbye at him, and stepped back to your building. You watched through the peephole how he pumped his fist in the air and let out a “yes!” before heading back to his car. You giggled and went up to your room, forgetting the fact that you weren’t able to get Gemma’s number from Richard.

Like any other night since the night you met Richard, you slept with a smile on your face.

…

There were multiple notifications on your phone when you woke up.

Richard 📸🥓: got home safely

Richard 📸🥓: I also told Gemma I dropped you off and forgot to give you her number. She got your number instead so don’t be surprised if you get an anonymous text. That’s probably Gemma.

Richard 📸🥓: Good morning Y/N 😊

Richard 📸🥓: were you able to get a good night’s rest?

You replied to Richard, assuring him that you slept okay and asked him how his night went. You texted for a while, still not feeling like getting up but you eventually did after a while. As you were getting ready for work, you heard your phone ping with some notices from Instagram.

gemmachan started following you

gemmachan tagged you in a post

You opened the second notification, finding the photos that were taken of you with Gemma and Richard. Her caption was unlike the ones she used to put. This one was playing coy and mysterious.

Twosome and a third wheel @maddenrichard @yourIGhandle

Below the picture, you found comments asking who were who in the twosome and who was the third wheel. There were people who shipped you with Richard, others who shipped them together and made you the third wheel. You didn’t mind the other comments and only cared for one.

Richard had commented on the photo a few minutes ago and had written Am I the third wheel in this picture?

You replied I think I am with a monkey with its hands clapped over its eyes emoji.

Annie, the production assistant you met last night, replied to you Clearly it’s Gemma followed by an exasperated-looking emoji.

You left it at that, smiling as you got ready to start another day.

If you've reached this point, thank you for reading!