#so far ember is absolutely my favourite thing

[octahedral-chaos]

Asterism Borealis: Chapter 2

Getting To Know Each Other... And A Plan

Sakari learns more about her newfound party, and spend some time with Sonnet.

Warnings: Body Horror (Upcoming), TBA

Characters: Sakari (OC), Sonnet (Worldless OC), Styx (OC), Otis (OC)

"So... where exactly are we going?"

Sakari queried, following her newfound group into their motel room. They had just gotten two rooms for the night, after days of traveling across several countries in their quest.

"Like I said a few days ago, North," Styx spoke, unlocking the door to her, as well as Otis', room, "Specifically, far North. Further than the Boreal Elf settlements and definitely almost at the very top of the Earth."

This, of course, made Sakari a little nervous. She never left the country, not counting when she was a little kid, and even then it made her weirdly scared to go so far. It's not like this was going to be horrible, right?

"And why exactly are we going to the North Pole? Are we going to find Santa Claus or something?"

"Not that, but something even better," Otis chimed, ears raised in excitement, "we're looking for star people."

"Star people?" Sakari asked, somehow even more confused.

"Well, the Boreal Elves, specifically my culture, call them the 'Children of the Stars," Styx explained, "They're mystical beings who appearance varies. Sometimes they are described as being pure white with glowing blue eyes, or pure black with glowing orange eyes, like embers. Sometimes they don't even have a face at all, but a bright light where it should be!"

"Rumour has it, there's a grand city at the top of the Earth, where the Children of the Stars live, where they can play and dance to their heart's content. But they are also described to be skilled warriors, who fierceness and speed is not to be underestimated."

"... Oh," Sakari said, not knowing how to respond, "That seems pretty cool, I guess? But what if they're just myths-"

"We already have evidence, in the form of several pictures taken by Elven hunting parties, lots of Eyewitness accounts and even a video caught by a research crew, and that video is in high quality too!"

"Really? Could I see said video if it's okay?"

Honestly, Sakari felt incredibly awkward at that moment. She really did not know what she was getting into.

"Sure thing!" Styx chirped, taking out her laptop (Since when did she brought a laptop?) And placing it on the desk. After a few moments of awkwardly staring at Styx find a document, Sakari finally saw what Styx and Otis was looking for. And it was exactly what she was also looking for.

Starfolks. They were unintentionally looking for Sonnet's kin.

She stared at the text, well-researched and written, about every single detail that Styx could have found by herself. She stared at the, admittedly absolutely-horrible-potato-quality pictures, before glancing to the higher definition ones. They clearly depict strangely humanoid beings, some with wings, some with horns, some with long ears and tails, yet they all have the shared similarities of being roughly humanoid with black or white skin and blue or orange eyes, or face... glow?

Then one thing caught her attention.

A clip of an almost dog-like one trotting along the ice on all fours, it's white fur almost blending into the scenery, and the only thing visible was it's blue glowing face.

"How interesting..." She finally spoke, "I mean... with the amount of evidence here, they could surely exist." "I know right?" Styx happily laughed, "I always thought that they were so cool. It gotten even better when I decided to get into paranormal stuff, especially cryptids. I think it's cool how one of my favourite mythological creature turns out to be a sort of cryptid too!"

Sakari silently cringed at the mention of "cryptids." She knew Styx didn't mean harm in thinking starfolks are mystical undiscovered creatures, but knowing she had one with her made it somewhat awkward.

"It's getting late now, so goodnight I guess?" Sakari finally stated, before walking to the door. "I mean, you have a point, we should sleep now," Otis sleepily yawned, "Makes no sense trying to hussle to get out early when you wake up late."

After saying their good nights, Sakari walked into her room, unpacked all her belongings and got ready for bed. But before she go to sleep, she needed to check up on Sonnet.

Meditating, she got into Sonnet's... void-place thing. It was hard to describe, except as an almost blank and endless void with the only permanent object being a mirror where one could see the outside world. She couldn't imagined how lonely and boring it must have been for Sonnet, to be unable to do anything for billions of years.

And there was Sonnet, curled up like a cat, sleeping.

Quietly, Sakari walked up to Sonnet, before gently nudging them, "Wakie Wakie!"

With a grumble, Sonnet woke up, before murmuring, "Seriously, when I now managed to take a nap?"

"I know you're a bit grumpy about being woken up late in the night," Sakari spoke, "but it's about something really important."

"Okay," Sonnet continued, sitting up and ear-wings folded neatly, "So... what's this important thing you're talking about?"

"Basically, I learnt about what Otis and Styx are looking for," Sakari explained, "and it's exactly what we needed."

"What do you mean?"

"They're unintentionally trying to look for starfolks. Apparently, they might be living at the North Pole, or something like that."

"Really? I could see my kind again?"

"I guess? Plus, we could get closer to breaking your curse. And it won't hurt to learn about your kind even more."

"So... we're basically going to far, FAR North in order to find my kin? That sounds kind of dangerous, isn't it?"

"I know, but when we're together... we'll make it through. I know it."

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[thank-god-and-you]

For the 2023 in review ask game: 2, 7, 15, 22 and 30 ❤️

Thank you for asking!! <3

2. How many fics did you work on this year? (They don't have to be finished or published).

I'm always working on a million different things!

Fifty-four fics in total.

Nineteen for Suki/Eve, nineteen for Anna/Bates. six for Daenerys/Jorah, five for Anne/Ann, three for Bob/Helen, two for Felix/Calhoun.

I managed to publish/add to twenty-one of them.

7. What character(s) captured your heart?

I think it's pretty obvious, but Suki Panesar. Watching her journey in real time over the past couple of years has been wonderful, and even if the writing has been questionable at times (it is a soap, after all), overall the journey from belligerent denial to acceptance of her sexuality and the woman she loves has been absolutely beautiful, and the episode from 20/12/23 with Suki and Nish's confrontation was my favourite overall episode of anything of the entire year.

Eve Unwin is also everything to me. <3 She's so funny and loyal and cute.

Being able to explore happiness for them for more than the two seconds they've ever been allowed in the show has been the most important part of my year.

15. Rec a fic you wrote or posted in 2023.

This is the worst possible question you could have asked me, LOL.

I enjoyed writing the first chapter of Our Legacies Hide in the Embers. It was fun to write from Jean's POV because of her dislike of Suki, and I envisage more comedy gold on the horizon now that she knows her landlady/nemesis is shagging her daughter-in-law.

22. Share an excerpt from your favourite scene.

I'll cheat and post two--one for myself, one for Dany/Jorah fans.

Eve nods, coming around the table to give her a brief kiss. Suki holds her a beat longer before letting her slip free. Her lover makes her way to the back door.

And Suki has her first chance to prove that she means it when she says things will be different this time.

“Not that way,” she says.

Eve pauses with a hand on the knob. “What?”

“Use the front door.”

“It’s late enough that people might be about. Someone could see me.”

 The fear hasn’t fully dissipated yet. But Suki isn’t stupid. She knows she could be fighting against that for months to come. Maybe years. The only sure way of conquering that fear is facing it head on and lessening its power over her step by step.

This is the first step.

“I’m not ashamed of you, Eve. You’re not a dirty secret. I love you. I want people to know that we’re together. If someone saves you leave...so be it. I don’t want you to stalk about in the shadows thinking that it’s no different to the way it was before. Because that’s far from the truth. This time everything is going to be different.”

For a long moment, Eve stares at her. Her eyes are glossy with tears. When she blinks, they spill. Suki reaches up to brush them away with her thumbs.

“Are you sure?” Eve whispers.

“Unwaveringly. Come on, let me see you out.”

Eve follows along behind her as she leads the way down the hallway. Before she opens the front door, Suki turns to her lover one more time.

“I’ll text you later, yeah?” she says, searching Eve’s face for any sign of lingering doubt.

But Eve is beaming. “Yeah.”

“I love you,” she murmurs, and draws her in for one last, long kiss, right there next to the front door.

It’s with great reluctance that Eve pulls away and slips outside. Suki stands by the front door, shameless in a hastily pulled on dressing gown and hair in disarray, and gives her lover a reassuring nod as she glances back at her one last time. She watches Eve cross the square back to the Slaters’, and only then closes the door.

Dany/Jorah:

“I swear to ward the queen with all my strength,” he rasps, his voice loud and strong.

A hundred and more lords stand packed into the throne room, but it’s as silent as a crypt as they watch the proceedings before them, these seven new knights who will be remembered in their histories forever.

“I give my blood for hers.”

She hopes he will never have to, that her reign will be long and prosperous, uncontested, as peaceful as Jaehaerys the Conciliator’s.

And now for the changes to that sacred oath, the words that will give him a path to immortality, though he does not yet know it, though he does not yet understand the significance.

He takes a deep breath, looking up at her steadily from his place at the base of the Iron Throne, knelt with the reverence of a worshipper before its god. “Her family is my family and my family becomes hers.”

At those words, Daenerys feels all of the tension leave her, the low anxiety that has been itching at her skull for the whole day suddenly vanquished by his utterance. They are unsaid and cannot be undone. Now all that’s left for him is to finish the recital, to rise again as the official Lord Commander.

He does so, with such conviction and passion. “I shall guard her secrets, obey her commands, ride at her side and defend her name and honour. I swear all of this by the old gods and the new.”

This is her cue. Daenerys rises from the throne, clasping her  hands in front of her. “Rise, Lord Commander Mormont. I thank you for all your years of loyal service to me, and I wish to repay that now with a gift for you, a token of my appreciation that you can carry with pride, and a symbol of my thanks for all you have done for me.”

30. What's something that you want to write in 2024?

I have no real specific plans, really, just to finish some of the fics I started/continued working on in 2023. Other than that, I have seventeen fics/updates sitting in my editing queue, so hopefully I can get all of those sorted in 2024!

[merryfortune]

not with a bang but a whimper (oh no, absolutely not)

Written for Year of the OTP 2023

Prompts: Couples Costume | Text Messaging | Identity Shenanigans | “You can’t bench me!” | Lightning | Sports Team AU

Title: not with a bang but a whimper (oh no, absolutely not)

Ship: Respectfulshipping | Ryoken/Spectre

Ship 2: Rockdustshipping | Earth/Ryoken/Spectre

Fandom: Yu-Gi-Oh! Vrains

Rating: T

Word Count: 4,211

Tags: Post-Canon, Humour, Developing Relationship, Sexual References

   Oh no.

   Absolutely not.

   Ryoken could already foresee all the ways this could go wrong. 

   They had already come so close, so far, and now he was destined to watch it all fall to pieces again. That was his fate. The prolonged suffering of six, innocent children because the powers that be wanted to funnel their torture into the creation of six artificial intelligences that had the potential to wreak havoc in the world. They were meant to help. What they truly intended was the destruction of humanity instead.

   They had seen it with Lightning, with Ai. Now there was the chance they were going to see it over and over again with Flame. With Aqua. With Windy. And yes, even with Earth. He was certain. This was the precipice of yet another apocalypse. It was not a question of when but rather which one? Which Ignis would crack first and call forth abominations of nature and technology which was most fitting to their attribute?

   Ryoken had no clue but he was certain. That is what they were seeing now that not only all six Ignis were back but they had even been gifted SOLtiS android bodies. Oh gosh, oh God. this could only go wrong, coming down in flames and embers, with cities tumbling down and towns wiped off the map.

   He was certain.

   What Spectre, however, saw was something far gentler. Far softer. Far kinder. He, for one, was over the moon that not only was Earth back, he was happy to be back with him for the very first time.

   Where Ryoken saw fire and brimstone, the ugliness he was seeing in all actuality… was far from it. He wouldn’t want to call his partner and lover ugly, after all but there had to be a line in the sand somewhere. Surely. This was not at all what he was predicting would go wrong but it should have been up there.

   The appearance of SOLtiS Earth’s android body… Well, he wasn’t really good at designing a humanistic persona for himself. So, he decided that downloading and using Spectre’s Link VRAINS avatar then assimilating it through his Ignis Code and his own, eccentric sense of fashion was a great idea. However, Spectre’s Link VRAINS avatar was also just his day-to-day appearance in the flesh and blood.

   Oh no.

   Absolutely not.

   Ryoken was already living in all the ways that could go wrong.

   For example, the most apocalyptic thing he could do in this situation was… Say, if he annoyed Spectre and got into a petty fight with him which was big enough to blow up into an argument and cause him to storm off. That would be bad. What would be worse however is, when Ryoken - who started the fight - was ready to apologise… if he apologised to the wrong person. Yes, wouldn’t that be something?

   After an hour of fuming, Ryoken was finally able to see straight.

   Or so he thought.

   He found Spectre in the sunroom - naturally, it was one of his favourite places since it got a lot of light and he was a plant in theory but not practice - holed up with a book. He looked content as his eyes - startlingly blue, nigh fluorescent - as they scanned the pages and Ryoken marched up to him. 

   His heart hammered and he did his best to deliver a rehearsed speech of apology.

   “Spectre,” he said, “I am so sorry. I shouldn’t have raised my voice at you. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to blow up over a little thing and stress isn’t an excuse. I will try to be more mindful in future.”

   Ryoken’s tone was awkward and mechanical. Leaving out bits and pieces, not just of what he had done and what Spectre had done and what they had done together but other parts of the speech he had wanted to give too. It had been eloquent in his mind up until he had gotten his mouth involved but it was passionate and it was genuine.

   He just hoped Spectre thought so, too.

   Except, it wasn’t Spectre who was in front of him.

   It was Earth and Earth looked petrified. Earth awkwardly pulled down his turtleneck to reveal the cyan notch on his throat. Really, Ryoken should have noticed sooner but in his state of disarray, he had not and now he felt thousands of times worse than he had before.

   Just what kind of a godawful lover was he if he couldn’t tell the difference between Spectre and Earth? Human and artificial intelligence respectively? He began to sweat bullets.

   Luckily for him, his apology did make it to the right person. Spectre laughed at Ryoken’s expense from the doorway.

   “I thought I might find you here,” Spectre teased, “well, apology accepted, Ryoken-sama. I shouldn’t have pushed your buttons but alas. It comes with the territory of being too close, don’t you think?”

   “Yes, I couldn’t agree more.” Ryoken said and he turned around to meet Spectre’s gaze.

   It was oddly jovial. He found Ryoken’s little mishap adorable. It was written all over his smarmy face as he leaned on the threshold of the sunroom.

   Earth, meanwhile, let go of a sigh. He didn’t need to do it but he did regardless. It felt good to exhale the tension that he had felt out of nowhere and to have it released equally out of nowhere. He hadn’t even been aware that Spectre and Ryoken were fighting…

   But all's well that ends well. Besides, it's not like this sort of thing could happen twice, right…? Where identities as vastly different as Earth and Spectre would be mistaken for one another. And by Ryoken of all people. That should surely be impossible, right?

   Both Ryoken and Earth thought so.

   Yes, well, they both thought wrong, now didn’t they?

   In Ryoken’s defence, he had gone from one extreme to another. From being ragingly wide awake to being the complete opposite: dead tired. Basically unconscious. Eyes fully closed, despite being open - only because he needed to get to bed first so he could be fully unconscious in deep sleep. 

   Further in Ryoken’s defence, the last incident with him mistaking Earth for Spectre happened weeks ago. Everyone involved had practically forgotten. Though practically was not totally.

   See, Ryoken had had a very busy day. Events in the Link VRAINS were goldmines for glitches and bad behaviour so he and the other Knights were kept on their toes acting as insurance and security for SOL Tech. They were worked to the bone keeping the new code from collapsing in on itself as new users logged in and some of them made it their mission to stretch that spaghetti as far as it could.

   Everyone was tired and had done their part to earn their non-blood money paycheque. The Lieutenants had dropped like flies hours ago and so had Spectre, or so Ryoken recalled but it was so hazy. He was such a hardass, especially on himself so he had given up last.

   Or again. So he thought. Or maybe Spectre had just gotten up to get some water, or even some tea. He was standing in the kitchen, after all, and only had the stove’s overhead light on. 

   Ryoken smiled to himself as he stumbled in on this little scene in his tired delirium. It had all the beginnings of something quite domestic, he thought as he yawned and shuffled closer. Maybe if he sulked up to Spectre, he would get a late night treat, too. Though not a natal tea drinker, preferring coffee usually, if Spectre was making some, he wouldn’t mind.

   Ryoken snaked his hand along Spectre’s waist and cuddled in. Ryoken all but purred as he kissed Spectre’s face as he slid in beside him. He looked over the stove and yup, Spectre was making a treat for himself: warmed milk. It smelt heavenly now that he was so close to Spectre but there was something else aside from the homely scent of the warmed milk.

   It was more synthetic than organic. Like plastic or silicon. And now that Ryoken really thought about it, Spectre’s cheek which he had just kissed felt rather cold on his lips and Ryoken’s heart stopped.

   “Ryoken-dono… you need to stop doing this.” Earth said, mortified.

   Though not nearly as mortified as Ryoken.

   Ryoken stepped aside and groaned. Well, he was wide awake now. His previously stopped heart then began to hammer in his chest as his stomach squirmed and he felt his face heat up.

   “Why in the world are you making warmed milk at this hour?” Ryoken asked. There was plenty he could have asked but that somehow got through the deluge first.

   “Funnily enough, because Spectre asked me to. He said you would want some before you joined him in bed.” Earth said. “Well… do you want some?” Though as he said that, the milk boiled over and that delicious scent of it burned immediately.

   “I’m right, Ignis.” Ryoken said. “Good night.”

   “Good night, Ryoken-dono.” Earth bade him.

   His voice was gentle and so uniquely his own. Worse still, he really did mean it. He wanted Ryoken to rest well. Clearly he needed it - and Ryoken agreed. Except his brain was going into overdrive with obsession.

   Whilst Spectre laid in bed next to himself, sleeping blissfully like a baby, Ryoken was busy with all his theories and factoids. He was wide awake. His mind was spiralling. He was still mortified and he could still the feel the sensation of his lips on Earth’s artificial skin.

   It was disgusting. Yet the funny thing about disgust was how close to intrigue it was. It felt like cheating on Spectre. With another Spectre, who really wasn’t him because Earth was his own creature and this was it. This was going to be the straw that broke Ryoken’s back because he really, really did not want this to go any further than it already had.

   So, the following morning, Ryoken assembled his two look-alike troublemakers.

   “Okay. That’s it.” Ryoken announced. “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me but so now seems as good an occasion as any to finally do something about this problem before it becomes an even bigger problem because I don’t know about you guys. But things seem to happen unluckily in threes for us. Let’s not risk it.” 

   Ryoken’s voice was frantic, short and choppy but Spectre couldn’t say that he wasn’t raising a good point. However, it was not him whom Ryoken prompted next. 

   “Earth.” 

   “Yes?” Earth was startled out of his skin as he promptly replied to Ryoken calling his name.

   “We need to do something about this whole… situation.” Ryoken said and he indicated what he considered the whole situation.

   Which happened to be all of Earth from the shoulders up which was where he took his homage to Spectre a bit too far. It was not kind nor thoughtful. It was definitely not tasteful. It was awful. He was a literal twin in visage to his Origin and Ryoken had had enough of it. 

   Apologising to an Ignis, kissing an Ignis, Ryoken was going mad! That was the last straw. No one needed to look like an episode of “dating or siblings”. Least of all Spectre and his Ignis. Or at least that’s what Ryoken thought. 

   “I think he looks fine the way he is.” Spectre growled from beside Ryoken, eyeing him warily.

   “Spectre, I love you, but I cannot take another day of accidentally mistaking you for him and vice-versa.” Ryoken said, he sounded as though he was hanging on by a thread. His words came out desperately through gritted teeth. “I have had enough. Earth, please, cooperate. Let us design you something. Please. For the sake of my sanity.”

   Earth looked pleadingly up at Spectre and fidgeted with his hands, “If it is causing an inconvenience to Ryoken-dono… I don’t mind.”

   “Ugh, fine.” Spectre said, petulantly, even stamping his foot.

   “Thank you.” Ryoken replied, relieved.

   “Do, um, do your best. Thank you.” Earth said and he bowed his head.

   When he completed his bow and returned to his straight-backed pose sitting down, he was kind enough to get up the avatar customisation panel with a flick of his hands to activate it. He relinquished the circular, cyan hologram to Ryoken and Spectre leaned over his shoulder.

   “So, do you have a design in mind or are you going to wing it?” Spectre asked. “Because I have seen what you do when you wing it…”

   “I was thirteen!” Ryoken grouched. “But yes, I think I have something more suitable for the Earth Ignis in mind.”

   “You're not going to turn him into our child are you?” Spectre asked.

   “No, because that is something you would do and cause all new problems. The Earth Ignis has his own identity and personality. There, I will admit…” Ryoken spoke whilst he played and toyed with the toggles and sliders presented to him, he didn’t even look up as his voice trailed off so oddly fond. “His character has come to be my favourite of the six. Steady, reliable, quiet. He is easier to get along with some I shall not name.”

   Both Earth and Spectre perked up at that as that was the nicest thing Ryoken had said about Earth. Or any of the Ignis for that matter. 

   Spectre’s expression broke into a smile and Earth exhibited flashes of excitement between how Ryoken manipulated the parameters of his appearance before… voila. It had likely taken Ryoken all of fifteen-twenty minutes with light chatter and conversation.

   Earth was nervous but assuaged by Spectre’s expressions. No longer a mirror of each other, he still reflected well and given how impressed he was, Earth had a good feeling that Ryoken had done well. The other Ignis might have warned him that this was a ploy to humiliate him in some petty revenge - for stealing his father’s attention away from him, for being the ultimate partner and soulbond to Spectre, etcetera - but Earth had trust. He wanted to believe the best in people. Even Ryoken.

   “There we go.” Ryoken said. “Spectre, do you approve?”

   “He looks marvellous.” Spectre said, gooey and eager to gush over how Earth looked.

   “M-May I see?” Earth asked.

   “Yes, here you go.” Ryoken replied.

   He flicked the hologram back to Earth and Earth cautiously put his finger on the next screen button. The character creator gave way to a mirror and Earth’s eyes lit up. They were still blue, which made him happy, but no longer was the rest of him Spectre’s borrowed avatar. He was entirely his own self. Not his old self, his Ignis self, obviously but he still recognised himself in it.

   “I had the unique privilege of watching you grow, now I can do this for you.” Ryoken mused. “Perhaps you will grow further from this. Perhaps not.”

   Spectre chuckled by his side. He recognised that airy, detached tone of Ryoken’s. It was the one he used when he was trying to seem cool but instead, Spectre found it cute.

   Earth looked deeper into his SOLtiS appearance. His hair had been styled differently, opposite to how it had before. The side fringe which once framed the left side of his face now framed the right. He was still somewhat Spectre like but it was no longer so on the nose. Speaking of which, his nose was reminiscent of Spectre’s but chunkier, somehow. His facial structure in general had become chunkier or generally more square.

   He had been given aesthetic, superficial scars, too, no doubt to remind him of his vivisection. How cruel. Yet it made him look “cool” as one of which cut through his eyebrows. His eyebrows were knitted and inverted and more importantly, a deep orange. His hair was no longer silver but also orange albeit with chocolate brown and forest green streaks. 

   He was his own “person” now and he was entranced by that concept.

   “Thank you, Ryoken-dono,” Earth said, sounding breathless, “I really like it.”

   “Me too.” Spectre added.

   He leaned over and swept Earth’s fringe over his scalp. He carded his fingers through the “wig” of it and kissed Earth’s forehead. Earth blushed. And Ryoken fumed, a little bit jealous. He had done the hard work of styling Earth after all.

   Spectre pulled back and kissed Ryoken’s cheek also, “You did a good job.”

   That was more like it, Ryoken smiled like the cat who got the cream. That was that problem solved and crisis averted. No more mistaking Spectre and Earth or, heaven forbid, vice versa.

   Except, just like how a butterfly could flutter its wings on one side of the planet and cause a tornado on the other side, other, unexpected consequences arose from the decision of giving Earth a more customised avatar. Not immediately but about a month later. Once everyone had adjusted to seeing Spectre and only Spectre around and Earth had gotten used to his new persona.

   As it would turn out, Earth wasn’t just giving heart attacks to Ryoken. He was giving them out to the Lieutenants as well. And even his fellow kin and their Origins and their Origins’ friends. Ryoken, as it turned out, was a mouthpiece for many when it came to getting him a new appearance. The Lieutenants were much, much more pleased with just having one Spectre floating around and so.

   Armageddon had not yet occurred because Earth had gotten a makeover - or even a human persona to begin with. The world was not about to split open with earthquakes nor did tectonic plates shift unexpectedly. It was quiet, just like how Ryoken and the other Knights of Hanoi liked it these days.

   Thus if anything, the makeover had brought them all closer. Messages were now far better at getting to the right recipient now that there was no confusion of who was who between Earth and Spectre. They even felt more comfortable going out and about as a pair, both with the other Ignis and victims of the Lost Incident. It was oddly sweet, even, to see them sitting close to one another on the lounge or even holding hands at zebra crossings or the like.

   It was good to see them all get along, actually.

   Really, that’s all Ryoken could ever ask for. To see his charges settle in and get along, they truly helped one another, even when they bickered or argued just as much as when they bantered and had fun together. It was nice to see the majority of them resume being able to duel for fun amongst one another in front of Kusanagi’s hot dog wagon. Ryoken couldn’t help be fond, even when the Ignis popped their heads in.

   Also, dare he even think it, but Ryoken even felt that he had grown somewhat closer to Earth now that he could properly discern him as his own being independent of Spectre. It was just little bits and things, like him helping out with the dishes or things like that.

   It really seemed like, for once, all was calm and all was bright.

   But alas. Ryoken was ever vigilant and for good reason. Even when he was sleeping. Because that’s when it struck him. If he’d ever had dreams about Earth, he may not have noticed because he had been using Spectre’s face. 

   It was just another night. Simple, no arguments beforehand, just the common platitudes of seeing each other in the morning again the usual routine of checking the network and then brushing his teeth. Yet for some reason, these circumstances that typically brewed into restful, dreamless sleep, Ryoken found himself dreaming of someone in particular as he dreamt of… Earth.

   All whilst cuddling Spectre in bed.

   Ryoken woke with a start and he was opting to not remember the specifics of the dream but his forceful, self-determined waking was enough to rouse Spectre.

   “Are you okay?” Spectre asked, his voice was thick as he pawed at his face. Worry began to permeate his face, even in the shadows. He knew Ryoken was far more prone to nightmares and overthinking than him.

   “Y-Yeah, its okay, it's just…” Ryoken mumbled.

   Spectre glanced down at him and smirked. Ryoken pulled hard over the blankets but the implication was enough.

   “You had a dream about me?” Spectre flirted.

   “Kind of…?” Ryoken confessed. Not a lie. He was very certain Spectre was caught up somewhere in all that.

   That was not the response that Spectre had been expecting. His brows began to furrow but luckily, Ryoken got in quick to save himself.

   “You and Earth.” Ryoken clarified. Again, kind of. 

   “Oh, well in that case, that’s fine.” Spectre said.

   “That’s… fine?” Ryoken echoed.

   “He’s my Ignis, why wouldn’t it be fine?” Spectre asked in turn. “I mean, I’ve dreamt about him in that way, and even in my waking hours…”

   “Wait, you’ve what?!” Ryoken exclaimed.

   Finally. It was happening. The Earth Ignis was doing something to rock his world. Starting small by ruining his relationship with his partner, quite clearly. Not the robot uprising he was quite expecting. But, well, the Ignis had to start somewhere and given how socially awkward he was, no wonder he would start small by dismantling the trust and respect between the leader of the Knights of Hanoi and the second-in-command. Or maybe that socially awkward shtick was just a ruse.

   Ryoken’s mind raced as Spectre stared at him. Shocked and surprised.

   “Wait, you’ve got a problem with that?” Spectre said, panic rising. “I assumed because you were okay with me wanting to be closer to him.”

   “Oh.” Ryoken said.

   “Oh indeed.” Spectre agreed.

   They were silent with one another. Upright in bed and they both sort of turned to face each other. Ryoken turned a light on however, on the lamp. It illuminated them both and a portion of the master bedroom. 

   “Is this a conversation for the morning, maybe?” Spectre suggested. “Because, um, I’m really happy to see you and Earth getting along better. Like, when you suggested that he upgraded his avatar, it was nice to see you do something to bond. It got my hopes up, I won’t lie.”

   Ryoken couldn’t believe his ears. His jealous and possessive Spectre, okay with sharing and being shared. He’d had no idea. He just hadn’t been seeing it because he’d had such a stick up his ass about Earth. And now here he was blushing like a virgin thinking about his gritted teeth observations about Spectre and Earth.

   They’d been more distant to one another prior because the use of Spectre’s avatar had tethered them in an unexpected way. It was an honour but not a refuge. Now they were cuddly. And hand holding. And doing or talking about goodness knows what else when they were out with trowels in the gardening.

   And here Ryoken was, too. With a strange, budding attraction that he couldn’t deny and couldn’t pretend it was because he hadn’t noticed a cyan notch on Earth’s neck.

   “I think this is a morning conversation. With Earth.” Spectre decided for himself and Ryoken. He smiled and tucked a curl behind his ear. “It’ll be painful, and awkward, like pulling teeth but I think it’ll be worth it. It’d mean a lot to try. I-It's not that weird, like Ai and Yu-”

   “Don’t mention them.” Ryoken said, whining, really, and he hid his face behind his hands. He knew things were going to get way too weird at that kind of namedrop. 

   Spectre laughed at his expense. They both knew it was a very Earth thing to do.  It seemed that Ryoken didn’t just teach habits, he could absorb them, too. He leaned in and kissed Ryoken’s cheek. His lips were warm. And, more importantly, real. So here Ryoken was, thinking of Earth even when he wasn’t here and couldn’t be mistaken for Spectre.

   “Let’s just go back to bed for now and talk in the morning.” Spectre said.

   “Fine by me.” Ryoken said.

   Spectre reached across him and Ryoken ducked down, forced back into the soft of the bed. Spectre tapped the lamp’s base and darkness ensued immediately. He wriggled back into his side of the bed and his hand snaked down Ryoken’s arm. He cuddled into the crook of Ryoken’s neck and shoulders and fell back asleep all but immediately.

   Ryoken was once more wide awake and plagued by visions of all the way this could go wrong. Armageddon was going to be a lot more personal than senseless destruction. It was, instead, going to be awkward chit-chat and talking about his feelings and his other least favourite social niceties to get straight to the point. He realised now the world was not going to end with a bang but a whimper.

   And, oh no. 

   Absolutely not. 

  Spectre was right. Ryoken was wrong. And Earth was somewhere in the middle, blissfully unaware that they had been talking behind his back about the best way for him to live a domestic life in between them. One which forewent all the fire and brimstone that Ryoken had been predicting and ergo, unable to see the peace and the serenity through all his anxieties.

[the-starry-seas]

omg we both have star wars ocs! Isn't that crazy!

...I kinda wanna hear about them if you like sharing haha

I love talking about my OCs! And if you want to talk about yours 👀

Vinir is my favourite by far. He's a sneaky, cranky bitch through and through and I love that for him tbh. Professional killer and mercenary who loves nothing and no one except for his *counts on fingers* five droids. There's a reason I call him Droid Dad. He's aroallo (and if people still do face claims/refs for OCs, his is Sean Baek, specifically in his role as Fancy Lee from Killjoys).

He gets sent to spy on and potentially assassinate a Mand'alor (EXTREMELY long story here, but tldr adult Boba brought Jango back from the dead and Jango's having a grand time fucking with everyone). Problem being that he doesn't yet have orders to kill Jango when someone else tries... so Vinir's gotta save Jango's life to protect his payday.

He gets assigned as Jango's bodyguard after that, because Boba insists Jango needs some protection in light of a very-nearly-successful kill job. Jango's view on this is "I will accept a bodyguard to prove that I am better than him and don't need him."

And then Vinir can keep pace with him and the two of them form a begrudging alliance that develops into a qpr. There is a shitload of drama down the line when Jango finds out why Vinir showed up in the first place, but they settle things eventually. There's stabbing involved but that's practically a love language for these guys. Truly nobody else could ever fucking deal with either of them.

Racer is a close second, though. She's a clone trooper, part of an ARC squad to be specific. She's their demolitions expert and she is wildly irresponsible with this. (If her responsible older brother/squad leader keeps finding dud grenades in his bunk, that's totally not her.) They have a broken microwave that she keeps microwaving random things in to see what happens (they explode, except the space Furby, which starts sparking and gets them all in trouble).

She's a chaos gremlin to the max and loves horrible jokes and puns. If she can find a way to cause trouble and bother her brothers, she will take it and add some glitter. She loves all things fast, and is a part-time underground speeder racer, hence her name. She has plans to make a career of it someday and could probably be pretty good at it!

There is more complicated AU nonsense at play here, like there is for basically all my Star Wars characters. TLDR is her squad, the Aces, get time travelled into the future where they can do whatever they like without the war going on.

Racer promptly starts flirting with a pirate captain, and gets not only a cool new job as a pirate but *counts on fingers again* three cool girlfriends. She heard 'be gay do crimes' and took it to the absolute max. If you know The Orion Experience, that's her vibes, especially All Dolled Up and The Cult of Dionysus. I support her in all she does.

And Cam my beloved <3 He's dating one of Racer's brothers, Ember, and she is constantly at risk of getting Bonked for playing the grindr sound effect whenever she sees them holding hands. And the one time she played the wedding march.

He's a marine biologist with a particular love for the stingray tank. He and Ember have a meetcute where Ember literally trips and falls into Cam, and Cam catches him and takes him to lunch. Ember spends the entire lunch listening to Cam infodump about coral and Cam is ready to propose right then and there.

(Meanwhile there's some minor drama going on in the background, because Ember suddenly disappeared during a family outing and they're all mildly concerned he's been kidnapped or fell into the shark tank or got eaten by a kraken or something. Nope, all he fell into were those big brown eyes.)

His secondary love, besides the ray tank, is the shark tank. Ember's always a little nervous to see him diving in there, but Cam has three different sharks who consider him a friend, and he loves all of them in return. They've never tried biting him and he's good at what he does, so he's pretty confident and calm about swimming with the sharks.

He also knows sign language, which means he can talk with the mermaid performers when they're in the tanks. He's called the mermaid whisperer, and every so often he gets a letter from a kid on a field trip who saw him talking with them, asking how the mermaids are doing. He keeps every letter framed in his office.

[dragonologist-phd]

🛡 and 🔮

🛡: favourite build, or party setup?

Ok so there is absolutely nothing tactical about my party setups. I play on the lowest level difficulty and bring my character's best friends with them, and that's all the thought that goes into it. That being said, the typical party for each of my Commanders is:

Piper: Arueshalae, Woljif, Daeran, Seelah, Sosiel

Lilith: Wenduag, Regill, Greybor, Ember, Camellia/Woljif (depending on which act)

Cleo: Woljif, Wenduag, Nenio, Daeran, Arueshalae

Maebrys: Seelah, Greybor, Woljif, Sosiel, Arueshalae

🔮: oc’s opinions on magic and the gods?

Oh this is a good question.

Piper loves magic, and it's something she's always inherently had. She doesn't have much book-learning on the subject, but she's picked up a lot of tricks in her travels, and she has a knack for using what she knows to hobble together the effect she needs. She doesn't think much of most of the gods- she especially has a grudge against the Lawful ones- but she's a devout follower of Desna. She admires the things that Desna stands for, and she's found that Desna's followers tend to be the most accepting of people, regardless of bloodline or background

Lilith is also very enthusiastic about magic, but she approaches it far more academically. Being an Inquisitor, it's also linked much more to the gods in her mind; she was raised to serve Asmodeus, and magic was the tool she used to do that. As she grew older, she took magic on more as her own interest, and began expanding her knowledge into practices that didn't require a god's patronage. It actually earned her some suspicion from her mentors when she was a bit too successful in that area. All in all, she's very aware of how much power the gods hold, and her skill in magic is her way of leveraging that with some power of her own

Maebrys is a follower of Iomedae, and her relationship to the gods changes quite a bit over the course of the game. She starts off very respectful of their authority, and is nothing short of delighted when Iomedae seems to show her favor through Mae's new mythic powers. Mae never had magic before, and she saw her new powers as a divine sign. But as things continue and more truths come to light, that view sours a bit. Mae doesn't come out of it hating the gods, but she definitely has a less rosy view of them; they have flaws and make mistakes like everyone else, except their mistakes affect the entire world. So while Mae continues to follow Iomedae, she ends up doing it with much less blind faith, and she accepts that it's okay if her new powers come from something a little less than purely heroic

Cleo has too many problems with authority to ever worship a god, and she thinks magic is for nerds

[wherefore-whinnies]

13-16 with challenge mode: none from a game you've mentioned yet

Keldeo pls I made sure to write everything from a different franchise ok challenge accepted.

13. What's your favorite sad piece?

Don't Speak Her Name!

the parts with just the piano are so lovely. ;_; I get kind of bored when all the instruments kind of swell up actually, I just want to hear the piano. my absolute favourite part which is honestly the part I listen to the entire piece for is the part at 1:56. the piano is just soooo pretty and sad and the left hand part is such a nice accompaniment.

also since it still meets the rules of challenge mode here's the backup piece I mentioned when I couldn't remember my main choice for this one (I am cheating so much on these asks to post multiple tracks lmao):

man I used to listen to this on repeat on the bus in first term uni. I really like the intro but also my favourite part is at 1:28. especially the contrast with the buildup in volume right before. it is so nice. ;_; and also when it loops again at around 1:40. omg lol apparently YouTube now has a "most replayed" feature and it keeps suggesting I go back to 1:29.

14. What's your favorite happy piece?

man do I even like happy pieces? somewhat unsure what makes a piece happy now that I think about it. I don't know if any tracks I like are specifically "happy" but here's one from Pokémon Conquest that's, triumphant?

Pokémon Conquest was such a good game and also such a missed opportunity tbh. Conquest 2 when??? I need it. I love so many tracks from this soundtrack and I think it is so underrated I could probably answer like half this ask game with conquest tracks. (well maybe not since they don't really vary that much in mood)

15. What's your favorite relaxing piece?

p sure I still have Ace Attorney to draw on, so I really like both Elise Deauxnim's theme and Hazakurain for this:

the mood at the start of case 3-5 is soooo nice. love it so much. my favourite part of Elise Deauxnim's theme is 1:03 up to when it loops and in Hazakurain I particularly like the part starting at 0:48 but I love both of them in their entirety really.

16. What's your favorite intense piece?

fortunately I saved three hopes for this:

actually I prefer embers but that doesn't qualify so much as "intense". I loooooove the original Roar of Dominion and the first time I heard it in three hopes I was completely blown away, I actually didn't recognize it right away and I was like WHAT IS THIS AMAZING PIECE??? the first route I played was golden wildfire which imo has BY FAR the best presentation of the map that plays roar of dominion because none of the characters have any idea what the fuck is going on and the literal name of the battle is just "???" and you get the whole thing with "CHOICES YOU MAKE HERE WILL GREATLY IMPACT THE OUTCOME OF THE STORY" and you're running around Ailell with all the lava and stuff while this is playing and also Yuribird is there. and also the really excellent cutscene after if you don't recruit Byleth. I love it so much. the embers version is sooo good with the piccolo? flute? trills and the instrument playing the main melody aaaaa I love it. ;_;

[sparrow-orion-writes]

1 and 5 for your favorite OC ship!

--Joy (@italiangothicwriteblr)

God, I don't know if I have a favourite, all of the relationships I've written so far are just so different and bring different things to the stories they're in.

Having said that, I want to study April and Ember under a microscope, so let's do them.

What’s their love languages?

I'd say April's love language is definitely acts of service or physical touch. He hates the words "I love you," and at first he's so uncomfortable with being told that he's loved that he starts feeling nauseous. So they have to find a ground where they're both comfortable with the relationship they have - for April, he shows his adoration for Ember through making his life easier. He'll turn up with something like "You said the other day you had this problem and I've solved it, here's what you need."

But physical touch is important to it, even though he wouldn't admit it. When I was writing a bunch of little things for April I had this one scene where he basically said the reason he goes to so many parties and hooks up with so many people is because when he's alone for too long, "his skin starts feeling like it wants to kill him". Which is something I feel when I get touch starved, like my skin is just Bad and Wrong. He gets touch starved so fast but doesn't recognize it as touch starvation because of childhood neglect – but the boy, he needs his cuddles.

For Ember though! Quality time. He needs time alone with April, they're both busy people with busy lives, and he needs his privacy. He's usually very private about his home life and just in general, about himself. Whilst April might be more used to the sort of life where he hides absolutely nothing, Ember wants a little more barrier between their relationship and the rest of the world.

He gets through the day to spend some time alone with April, it's a big motivator for him. No matter how stressed he is at least he knows he's getting cuddles (and, knowing them, way more than cuddles).

5. Who does what chores?

April makes a mess and Ember half-heartedly cleans it. That's about it really.

Ember does his best to make sure that April doesn't accidentally create a bioweapon in a cup because he forgot to do the dishes, but neither of them are incredibly clean people. Neither of them really grew up with the opportunity to be clean people either, they didn't grow up in the sort of environment where that was entirely possible.

Questions are from this post!

[kierancampire]

Had the girls just over 4 months now, in these 4 months i am pretty sure i have tried every cat food i can get, there's literally no options left. Guess what Coraline has refused to eat again this morning. Where she has always been on the skinnier end, plus it makes me feel bad, i don't want her going hungry, i want her to eat. But at the same time, this is the food she literally always eats that she's now just decided to go off, and i have 2 more boxes of different food that she potentially will eat, so i could replace her food. But i have wasted so much money on food by this point, i have seriously spent so much money on food where not even a single pouch has been eaten, and yeah, I've sorta tried everything by now, there physically isn't any other options to try. So i feelbad, but i think I'm just gonna start leaving the food in her bowl, partially out of necessity for money, partially out of kinda being forced to, as there are no other options, and partially out of hoping that if she is that hungry she'll just eat

Roxy was fussy, Roxy was awful with food, so it's not like this is new territory for me. But I've had no issues with Ember, yet in 4 months Coraline has made me go through everything and is still unhappy. I feel bad saying this, as i do love this cat, but if in just 4 months she has refused to eat every single food brand i can buy, she's still got a whole life ahead of her yet that i need to appease somehow, and the severe amount of behavioural and personality issues I've had already, the amount of things she's destroyed, the fact she's just made me break down crying twice. Sometimes i do wonder what'd it be like if i onpy got Ember or a different cat. I love Coraline, i do, i absolutely adore her and i am grateful she is in my life, snuggling her is my favourite thing, she is such a beautiful cat. But she is far beyond just hard work, and play, training, food, energy, every aspect of her, i feel like i do as much as i can yet it just still never is enough for her, it's exhausting

[feartheoldblog]

Soulsborne asks!

15 19 20 (⁠｡⁠・⁠/⁠/⁠ε⁠/⁠/⁠・⁠｡⁠)

15. Do you have any unpopular opinions about any of the games?

Not so much an opinion but I never really realised that ‘always’ playing co op is generally frowned upon within the community (until I jumped on Souls Reddit looking for some memes). I just always assumed it was the more fun way to play if you had friends to adventure with. Sure, I’ve done a solo run or two but streaming it to my friends just wasn’t as entertaining.

I actually got put off the Souls games for a good couple months after someone (did not ask for his opinion whatsoever) scolded me for playing co op. Apparently it wasn’t the ‘correct way to experience the games’ and I was freeloading on my friends. This person was an over competitive dick in most games though so I did hit them with a ‘fuck off, you’re just pissed you have no friends to play with’. Still ruined the games for me. I ended up playing a bit solo, realising how much I missed the shenanigans and got back into them with a vengeance as a sort of ‘fuck you’ to that dude. We don’t talk to him any more for other reasons though, so my ER experience was spared the same fate.

19. Do you play PvP? 

I’ll sort of combine this and question 20. Yes, but for the most part of my Souls shenanigans, reluctantly. It’s part of the co op side which I’m super fond of. I do co op for the social aspect more than anything so being distracted from a classy discussion about how Freddo’s are the best measure for financial inflation because of ‘Scorched Soul has invaded your world’ (the name got us in both BB and DS3… a bloodthirsty edgelord that hunted us across games). I am quite fond of participating in some wee duels with my friends on occasion. Mostly in DS3 where I quickly learned that my friend was a strength weapon god (Smough’s hammer goes BONK, never seen anyone as good with a strength build as him). For ER I practice PvP with my bf (more on that in 20) and hopefully my strength build friend once he returns from abroad.

20. What are your thoughts on PvP?

As a co op player, DS3 and Bloodborne? Annoying. Interruption from the limited time we have for co op (our work schedules barely synced so it was like 2 hours at most), resetting areas (on top of us being dumbasses and baiting enemies bc it’s funny and inevitably dying), wasting precious embers and madman’s knowledge, me not standing a chance because I’m stupid and don’t put my stats in correct… I was not a big fan.

Skip to ER though, and I’ve began to enjoy it. More so for satisfaction. For the start of the game I was still as pissed off about the invasions, all the glass cannon, wacky builds, until I had a turning point… I CAN USE THOSE AS WELL. I’ve now got a strength/faith bleed build and zero losses to invaders in about 40 invasions so far (my controller is dying so not done it for weeks </3) We typically try and do duels (3v1 with skilled players extremely doesn’t feel fair in ER) with invaders to make things a bit fairer because it makes it more fun, gives us a break from stabbing snack men and a chance to practice our skills in a more challenging setting. Sometimes we do gank if we’re low on time but it feels kinda dirty on ER. DS3 and BB it was probably a 3:1 win to the invaders so it was pretty much hit or miss, mostly miss no matter what we did.

Plus, there’s a sick satisfaction in game clipping invasions where I absolutely destroy an invader or they die in a silly way. My personal favourite is the Blasphemous Blade L2. I thought someone running down a thin corridor towards me and getting one shot by it would be a sweet one off incident. It happened again. Someone trying to hide behind the tree avatar in the Haligtree got hit when I was killing the thing (didn’t know they were sneaking around), another person ran straight for me as I was killing the one in Caelid… met the same fate. I don’t know what it is about invasions and tree avatars.

I’m just… bored of seeing the same invasion builds over and over again (especially if it’s the same area). I think the most unique thing I’ve seen so far was a poison build in Morne Castle (unfortunately not very viable for them but I applaud their creativity). A gravity build in the Haligtree to try and pull us off the edge was also pretty fun to deal with. Magic blast cannon that does 1200 damage and can travel through walls? Gets pretty tiring. I just wanna see more creativity, learn how to deal with different issues. I’ve seen way too many bleed builds and hosts/phantoms just know how to deal with them by now: better bleed builds (half-joke). Or following them around as a mimic veil object (sometimes right behind) until they finally notice us.

[ayrennaranaaldmeri]

got a quest w/ captain jimila and it bugged out so she and obolan treated my (dominion) vestige like a total stranger and my depression is immeasurable, high isle 0/10 dlc 

[seyaryminamoto]

As someone, who's favourite character is Zuko, let me just say that your analysis about the Southern Raiders is spot on. Something about that episode (especially the way Zuko acted) always felt a little... off to me. And I could never figure out what it was exactly and considering the fact that discussion about this episode centered around the Kataang vs Zutara, I thought I was the only one who felt that way. So, I guess thanks for putting my thoughts into words.

Oh, I really feel ya, anon. If you actually don't look at the episode from a shipping point of view, which seems to be the focus of most the fandom, a lot of unpleasant things really start sticking out. I'm personally neutral to the Kataang vs. Zutara debate, I see good points and drawbacks to both ships, and no one's going to convince me that this episode proved the superiority of either pairing, especially when the shipping interpretations have never been important to me when analyzing this episode. People can say Aang is right in the end, they can say Zuko understands Katara's plight better (which, considering Aang has lost even more people he loved than Zuko has, he certainly should have understood Katara's suffering quite well too), but focusing on whether Zuko or Aang are the angel or the devil on Katara's shoulders practically blinds everyone to the very glaring and mindboggling flaws in this episode's writing, imo.

In general, the concept of Zuko's life-changing field trips with the three Gaang members he'd wronged the most is fine and fun for most people, but from the first time I watched the show it felt like the production team knew they were pressed for time and needed some veeeery quick and effective solution for Zuko to gain acceptance in the Gaang ASAP despite all the bad blood there. I can imagine a lot of people love these episodes, but admittedly I wouldn't rank any of them among my favorites because, as interesting as some of their concepts could be, if executed right, my immersion certainly wasn't as strong as with the rest of the show due to the nagging feeling that this was all for the sake of redeeming Zuko in the eyes of each Gaang member... and not necessarily in the eyes of the audience.

They get away with it, of course, because by this point in time, the audience is 100% conditioned to love the Gaang and Zuko, and if you see them getting along, you should be rejoicing in their team-up... but if you put some emotional distance between yourself as a viewer and the events of these episodes, their writing leaves a lot to be desired, especially in the concept of giving Zuko a quick whitewashing in the eyes of Aang, Sokka and Katara, one after the other, so they can genuinely accept him as a teammate and friend. If we'd seen similar trips frequently or occasionally in the rest of the show, with two specific members of the team taking off on an adventure by themselves, it might not be so glaringly obvious (and even... artificial? I guess?) that they're trying to quick-redeem him for each of them here, but on top of it happening thrice, it's literally happening one after the other, too. There's no episodes in-between, it's just literally a four-parter arc of "let's help Zuko become friends with these three".

The plotlines to be dealt with in these episodes are basically catered to each Gaang member, tailor-made life-changing field trips based on whatever they'll value the most, all of it conveniently possible and doable in the span of time they have between Zuko's joining of their group and the show's finale. Aang needs to learn firebending, Sokka needs to save his dad, Katara is permanently grieving for her mother's death. And so, Zuko to the rescue! If he helps them with their personal character quests, he gets 50+ approval points! :'D Honestly, I'm absolutely not against the notion of Zuko befriending them, obviously not, but the methods through which they chose to make it happen simply might not be the finest...?

Zuko loses his ability to bend because he "lost his rage", but he's still angry pretty often, the show even spoofs its own writing by showing him losing his patience at Sokka... while at the same time trying to sell that Zuko "isn't angry" anymore? Zuko helps break out random prisoners from the Boiling Rock without taking a single moment to actually learn who they are, why they were locked up, and without pondering if they deserve to be helped or if perhaps they're genuinely dangerous? Zuko gives Katara every possible tool and information she needs to take revenge on Yon Rha, because, loosely quoting his own words, he "cares what she thinks of him"...?

How about if we'd seen Zuko trying to connect with Fire Nation people, to help his fellow Fire Nation citizens, especially the ones who were living in dreadful conditions, like the ones in the Jang Hui river village? How about if we'd seen Zuko saving lives rather than threatening to take them? How about if we'd seen Zuko actually reasoning with his anger, and either working his way out of it, or repurposing it consciously, or making legitimate, personal efforts to find a new source of strength for his firebending through self-reflection, above all else?

We didn't really need sudden one-on-one field trips to teach Aang, Katara and Sokka to trust Zuko: we needed Zuko to prove himself worthy of that trust, to show how much he has changed, to literally contrast his new behavior with the old, to actually see that the guy no longer jumps into violence-mode 24/7, that he's willing to listen to other people's opinions or wisdom, that he wants to learn better when he knows he's misguided or misunderstanding something or another. Would he have become BFFs with any of them in four episodes if this had happened? Well, it definitely would have happened with Aang, the other two would have been trickier, but they definitely would have been more willing to accept him if they actually got to SEE that the changes in Zuko weren't skin-deep. Katara can be as thick-headed and stubborn as she may want to be, but I have no doubts she wouldn't have been able to hate Zuko as much as she used to if she'd seen him helping people, much like she often wants their group to do. But instead, they don't get to see the actual changes and growth... they just get their biggest goals and wishes satisfied, and that's enough to decide Zuko's trustworthy, no matter whatever sketchy behavior he displays in later episodes.

I absolutely appreciate the worldbuilding context we gain for the raids on the Water Tribe through The Southern Raiders, but I don't think this was an organic way to tell the story of how Zuko became friends with the Gaang. If pressed, I'd even say that Zuko's overt desperation to be their friend is OOC, to a degree: if this guy actually knows how dangerous his father's plans are (and he's supposed to :'D), how isn't he focusing on that side of things, when he's always been such a go-getter? It's not like he grew out of this sort of ends-justify-the-means behavior, seeing as he's absolutely obsessed with stopping his father ASAP, by any means possible, in the finale, when there was no such urgency to be found ever since he joined the Gaang. How isn't he more worried about stopping Ozai than about becoming best friends with the Gaang? Immediately sharing everything he's learned about Ozai's intentions of destroying the whole world might not make them friends instantaneously, but it would certainly get someone like Sokka to take his information seriously and immediately begin strategizing how to counter Ozai's plans. Instead, Zuko spent all those weeks, over a month, even, teaching Aang firebending, going on field trips and hanging out with his new friends in Ember Island. Once you have all the cards on deck and you actually look at all of them at once, doesn't it feel like there were so many more ways to achieve what the show was going for, far more effective ways than through the "let's be friends with Zuko" arc?

Ultimately, there's very little display of growth, in my opinion, in this small arc, on Zuko's side, despite the most obvious and reasonable way to earn the trust of the Gaang would be by outright showing them how much he's grown. I won't deny I appreciate that the writers respected his personality and didn't just warp him into the perfect good softboi the way the fandom apparently interprets him, but even if Zuko was going to be cranky and speak one-liners like "I'm never happy", it wasn't impossible to write better situations for him to connect with the Gaang's members and gain their trust. Even if the writers were set on having these episodes happen exactly as they did, they absolutely could have been written in a much better way, to create an explicit and direct contrast between Zuko's early behavior and the new Zuko's behavior when it comes to things that matter (most the parallels I've seen the fandom drawing are things like "oh look he hated tea before but now he brews it for his friends! So much growth!"... would've been nice to see the growth when it came to a lot of other things, too, if the growth really was there? Am I rite...?).

I may just be influenced by other redemption arcs that focus mainly on characters having common goals and working together to achieve them, then becoming friends in the process... but I really don't see how Zuko's character benefited from these episodes. Yes, bridges were built... but they absolutely could have been built in a more organic way that didn't make people like myself (and a few others) question if Zuko had learned or grown at all, considering the way he behaves isn't all that distant from the Zuko we've seen and known throughout the rest of the show. And the fact that he really seems to have learned nothing in The Southern Raiders once you reach the show's finale... you're basically asked to take for granted Zuko did learn a lot of lessons because he says he did, to assume he's going to put them into practice sometime in the future despite he has chances to do it during the show itself but never does, simply because they drop the ball upon every opportunity to show how much he's changed.

I really don't blame his character at all, when it comes to these shortcomings... it's seriously, genuinely, a problem with the writing department. Take a look through the fandom and you'll see thousands of people who claim Zuko's character arc is the most touching, complex and beautiful writing they ever have seen... and why? Because we're in the face of tell-don't-show :'D most people's perception of Zuko's character are based not so much on HOW Zuko displays his growth, it's strongly based on him stating he made progress, even if there's too many instances where the growth simply seems to have fallen to the wayside or gone forgotten for the sake of a plotline or another. Zuko absolutely could have been written far better than this, he could absolutely have the redemption arc his fans are sure he does have, but for me... there's way too many gaps in logic, too many missed opportunities, to truly think his growth was as extraordinary as a lot of people are hung up on saying it was.

[fire-lady-ilah]

More good dad! Ozai AU? Even if you didn’t ask for it, you’re getting it and I’m picking up right where I left off. This is my reminder that, while Ozai is a good and non-abusive dad and husband in this, he is still very much an imperialist and a cruel person in general.

Parts [1] and [2] if you’d like. This is part 3. Here’s part [4]

The siblings venture into the capital, although they make it known that no one should inform their parents that they are nearby. The moment they step off the ship, Captain Jee sends a letter to the Fire Lady. He was loyal to the Prince and Princess above all, but he did not feel like being executed or exiled that day when Lady Ursa inevitably finds out.

In a large house just outside Caldera City, Lord Ukano lives with his wife, Michi, his daughter and heir, Mai, and his newborn son Tom-Tom. The Dragon Emperor and the Blue Spirit sneak into the bedroom of the heiress and steal her away.

In that I mean, Mai leaps at the opportunity to escape her home with her best friends, who she’s seen wearing the same theatre masks dozens of times, and follows willingly. It takes an hour longer than the siblings had expected, if only because Mai has far more knives than they had truly expected and they get caught up in the palace kitchens stealing Azula’s favourite mochi and some bags of fire flakes.

Then they are caught by Fire Lady Ursa, who is gathering a late night cup of cocoa after a nice night with her husband, not that her children need to know that part. Her children, who are wearing her theatre masks that had very recently gone missing from her collection, stare at her innocently. Her daughter carries two entire boxes she knows are full of mochi. Her son carries the fire flake bag they use for festivals. Her one day daughter-in-law is making a cup of cocoa and the Fire Lady calmly requests one for herself from the girl.

That night, the fire Prince and Princess sleep in their own rooms, with Lady Mai in one of the many available. In the morning, they take breakfast with the Fire Lord and Lady, discussing trivial matters of politics and domestic affairs.

Mai leaves on the request of the Fire Lord, bringing everything they took from her home and the palace (along with what Ursa and Ozai insisted they take) to the ship with the help of some soldiers.

Azula and Zuko sit with their parents. Ursa gives them each two potent bottles of poison. Ozai’s voice has a worry that only his family knows how to detect through the facade of boredom as he inquires how their firebending and blades practice has been, as to the state of their weaponry. They try to soothe their parents worries with assurances: their practice has been going well in both bending and blades, Azula has achieved perfection in lightningbending and Zuko has achieved lightning, their blades are sharp and well maintained, they weren’t harmed when the temple blew up—

It slips through Zuko’s lips. He was never the actor like his mother and sister. For their part, his parents do not react overly beyond a flickering of the flame and a long sip of tea.

“Your mission has changed.”

Ozai is smart. Everything he does is to serve his goals the best they can. In canon, the premier of those goals is to gain more power for himself. In this world, that goal is to secure the ideal outcome for his family. (Of course, his second goal is as much power as possible. But it is only considered after his first goal).

Allying themselves with the Avatar, at least in appearances, will secure the best outcome for his children. And he has no doubt that his brother (so weak after the death of his son. And yet, Ozai cannot find it within him to scorn him overly. He knows that were he to be left childless, he would break. It is merely that Ozai would break in an explosion, whereas Iroh’s flame fizzled into embers.) would eagerly help his children betray him. Even if it was just in appearances.

His children are loyal and dutiful. They protest, but only out of a desire to maintain that loyalty. He wishes the Avatar had remained hidden, at least until they were both adults. They are prodigal, yes, but they are just siblings.

“You have our permission to reveal your mother’s ancestry. Use it wisely.”

The children know their lineage for at least five generations on each side. That, of course, is in addition to their knowledge of every Fire Lord that has reigned since the unification of the Fire Nation. They are well aware that their Grandmother Rina (who feeds them chocolate and tells them stories whenever she visits) ‘s father was Avatar Roku. Just as they knew of the friendship between Fire Lord Sozin and Avatar Roku.

It is necessary for the people of their nation to hear pretty lies. It is not their responsibility to worry about the nuance and complexity of life. It is one of their responsibilities as Angi’s heirs in the mortal world. To worry of such things is a burden they should not have to bear. It is necessary for the people to believe the Avatar hated the Fire Lord.

The siblings don’t know everything, of course. They are just children after all. But they understand the nuance, the conflicting beliefs. They were told the truth (and carefully kept from necessary propaganda before then) when they were old enough to look critically at the situation. It was their duty to bring the Fire Nation’s good to the other nations, to liberate their populations, the siblings decided.

The Avatar is just a child, but he seemed able to connect with his past lives. And he had pointedly not hurt them, at least as Avatar Roku.

If nothing else, they have the Dragon Emperor and Blue Spirit on their side.

“Zhao has asked for permission to launch an invasion on the Northern Water Tribe. He is a fool, but he claims he has knowledge that will ensure his victory. Tomorrow, I will send him a letter approving his asinine idea. You will stop him— kill him, if you must— and use that act of perceived treason to ally yourselves with the Avatar.”

Ozai wants power, but he is no fool. The invasion is risky at best. He cannot find it within himself to care for the tens of thousands that would doubtlessly die in it, the Northern Water Tribe had the advantage in multiple ways. It would serve its purpose to get his children at the Avatar’s side.

The tone lightens after his orders and Ozai steps back from his role as Father Lord into just being a father. He teases his son on his interactions with his betrothed. He teases his daughter and asks if she would be visiting the circus soon, taking note of how she had learned to prevent a blush but not the squeak in her voice. They are not infallible, they are children.

As they see their children for the last time in the foreseeable future, the Fire Lord and Lady both think as to how much they will miss them. Ursa blinks back tears as she hugs them both, smiling as they react identically, burying their faces into her chest to hide them and breathing in the scent of fire lily perfume.

Ozai is not usually physically affectionate with his children. He had never received it from his father and was much more competent in other ways. That being said, no one commented on the kiss he pressed to the top of Zuko’s head (still shorter than him by quite a bit. Sometimes he acted so adult, but he was so clearly still a child) before repeating the action with Azula.

“I am so proud of you. Both of you.”

I’m just now realizing Blue Spirit is supposed to be after the whole Roku thing. Oh well.

For appearances’ sake, the siblings and Mai continue to chase the Avatar. Zhao attacks the Avatar while he trains under the Deserter. Princess Azula ensures the forest doesn’t burn while Prince Zuko uses all the bottled up anger at both Zhao himself and Azulon (really, what is with grown men trying to kill 11/12 year olds?) to yell at Zhao for acting so recklessly.

And if, perhaps, he manages to endear himself to others by knocking Zhao’s feet out from under him, all the better.

The Avatar and his friends escape and the siblings celebrate another success as Zhao nurses his bruised ass and ego.

(“Hey, did the Deserter look like that dude in Master Piandao’s painting in his main hall to you?”

“Admiral Jeong Jeong and Master Piandao were married, Zuko. Obviously that was him.”)

Zhao attempts to order their crew away from them, citing his rank as admiral as above prince and princess.

Azula’s sharp tongue reminds Admiral Zhao that Zuko is not only a prince, but the Crown Prince, and thus he is equal in rank to Zhao. As was their uncle a general, retired or not.

Behind the royalty of the ship stands Captain Jee, his eyes locked with Zhao’s. His eyes promise mutiny even if he were to somehow take them. His eyes swear loyalty to the Crown Prince, to his sister, above all else.

Zhao turns to leave.

“Of course, that is not to say we will not join your invasion.” Zuko sounds like his father sometimes, and never more than when his voice holds a hint of smug satisfaction. “Merely, do not presume to think you can order us in any way. We out rank you, and our crew is the best our Nation has to offer.”

Their ship joins, at least in appearance, Zhao’s fleet. That being said, they obey no orders from the Admiral and only allow his “inspections” of the ship and their crew once. For all intents and purposes, they are just there to observe.

And observe they do. The siblings watch the way Zhao treats his subordinates and twin righteous flames burns in their chests. The truth of being raised by a loving father means that Zuko and Azula are both rather sheltered in comparison to their canon selves. They are raised on ideals of honour and the divine responsibility of a monarch, rather than on the truths of war and practicality of rule. It only results in a hotter fire and more questions as to if Sozin’s way was truly the one to follow.

They still have absolute faith in their father. After all, he is the one that raised them, that taught them of honour and the ideals of a monarch. He is the one that sheltered them. He is the one that suggested they befriend the Avatar to keep them safe.

On the ship, only three people know the entire plan. The first two are the siblings, of course. The third is Captain Jee. He is the one that will keep their ship away from the invasion itself so there is no risk of their crew being harmed in the doomed attack. He is the one that will direct the ship to the colonies once the siblings are with the Avatar. Captain Jee has no qualms about technically commuting treason.

Mai knows some of the plan. In that, Mai knows exactly what Zuko and Azula tell her and then what she observes. She sees the way they stick together, now more than ever. Sees the way that Azula trains her non-lethal lightning (because even she, a nonbender, knows it’s far harder to bend lightning that doesn’t kill than that that does). She hears the way they drop the title of Fire Lord when speaking of their royal great grandfather. She catches whispers about Fire Lord Roku. About the Avatar.

Mai, in a way, knows more than the siblings themselves. She knows that they are genuinely sympathetic toward the Avatar in a way that they don’t yet realize. She begins to keep all her knives on her person, along with an easily grab-able bag for travelling in her room. There was no way she’d be letting her best friends turn traitor without her. This is the most exciting thing she’s done in years.

Iroh knows less than he believes. Oh, he gets the dropped title just as well as Mai, but he does not know the intricacies of Zuko and Azula the way Mai does. He sees Azula’s practice and writes it off as her ever-present search for perfection. He catches the tail end of a conversation between siblings and does not stop to consider who exactly “great grandfather” may be referring to. It would be unthinkable for his brother to tell the children of their heritage.

Despite this, Iroh also knows more than most. He knows from conversation exactly what Zhao intends to do in the Northern Water Tribe and it turns his blood to boil.

They reach the Northern Water Tribe. The siblings sneak off the ship in an emergency boat. Mai enters at the last moment and neither send her away.

Iroh has already left the ship, though he is currently in one last meeting with Zhao in an attempt to convince him not to continue with his plan. He will not check back with his niece and nephew, believing them to be safe on the ship.

In the Northern Water Tribe, the three Fire Nation teens remain tucked into the shadows. They, unfortunately, have no idea where the Avatar is and wander through the city. However, they reach the Avatar’s friends before Zhao does.

(“Is he... alive?”

“He’s just meditating.”)

It goes far better than they could have expected. The siblings’ act of releasing Sokka and Katara from Zhao’s bindings results in a part of water tribe siblings being quite willing to hear them out. Princess Yue gives them an odd look but remains quiet.

Zhao shows up. Iroh shows up. Azula and Zuko denounce him (though they cannot bring themselves to denounce their father, even though they know they should). Zhao declares them all traitors, a koi fish in a bag in his hand.

A bolt of lightning hits Zhao straight in the back. Both he and the koi fish fall into the pool of water. He does not emerge.

Azula’s face is carefully blank, even as she watches the water. She cannot stop to consider whether it is her or the water that just killed the admiral, or if he was even dead at all. She could not even see his body in its depths. She used non-lethal strength.

Despite Princess Yue’s backing, the Northern Water Tribe wants to take the siblings prisoner (hostage, everyone knows). After all, everyone knows of the devotion they show to the Fire Lord and vice versa. If nothing else, they would be excellent bargaining pieces in a more formal treaty.

They had not factored this into their plan. Admittedly, they had not factored the Northern Water Tribe into their plan at all.

The three Fire Nation teens are thrown into a prison cell. A rather comfortable prison cell, but still a prison cell. Iroh is taken somewhere else.

Within five hours, they sit on the back of a flying bison, Sokka handing them food he had smuggled out of the meal as Katara was smuggling them out of prison.

(“We tried to get your Uncle too,” the Avatar says in a remorseful tone, “but we couldn’t find him.”

“Uncle will be fine.” Azula declares, her mind set only on the future as she tries not to think about the way Zhao sunk beneath the still surface of the pond.

Zuko nods in agreement and clutches her hand in a comforting way.)

The Gaang now consists of six people:

Aang, a twelve year old Avatar with a mastery in air and a decent proficiency in water. He looks at the Fire Nation teens and sees his friend Kuzon, sees a time from before the war when an Air Nomad could wander freely through the Fire Nation. He attempts to use Fire Nation slang with them but it’s a century old and results in only laughter.

Katara, a master waterbender and healer (a concept that intrigues Azula to no end, although she tries to keep her questions polite). She tends to have a short temper when it comes to matters of the Fire Nation, but even she can be coaxed into trying a few sweets that Zuko has stored in his bag.

Sokka, a hunter and warrior who may or may not be engaged to the NWT princess (Zuko says he is, Azula says he isn’t). Azula laments that her jokes are even worse than Zuko’s, to which Mai agrees. It is that comment that leads Sokka and Zuko to start bonding, having nothing better to do on the bison’s back than exchange bad jokes.

Crown Prince Zuko of the Fire Nation, who Sokka would insist is walking Fire Nation propaganda as he goes on at least one rant about Fire Nation culture and technology a day. Who surprisingly helps Katara with the cooking because it was one of the things Fire Lady Ursa carried over from before she was Fire Lady and taught to her children.

Princess Azula of the Fire Nation, who has a sharp tongue and a sharper pair of twin daggers that she seems to enjoy threatening her brother with for any inconvenience, even though they both just laugh at it. (Katara and Sokka have to be assured by them both that they truly love each other and that threatening each other with weapons carried over from the theatre scrolls they used to act out as children).

Lady Mai talks the least, seemingly content just to talk to Zuko and Azula. Aang makes it his mission to get her to warm up to him and spends a good portion of his time trying to talk to her. He succeeds when he brings up air ball, of all things. Mai’s parents had discouraged her from sport, believing it to be unfitting of a young lady just as they had discouraged her interest in knives until Zuko and Azula had ganged up on them. Partially for that reason, Mai enjoyed sports quite a bit, a shock to even Zuko (though Azula knew). After that, she talks mainly to Zuko, Azula, and Aang.

Captain Jee guides his ship to the Fire Nation colonies, unable to confirm that his Prince and Princess were okay. He hadn’t expected the worry he feels now, but he knows he will be awaiting a letter at Yu Dao if they are safe.

Prince Iroh is startled to discover that, while meeting with Master Pakku, the Avatar, his friends, his nephew and niece, and Mai had all disappeared.

As had his ship.

[endless-symphonia]

Noriaki Kakyoin Analysis + Appreciation Post

Warning: Unmarked spoilers ahead, read at your own risk!

Heya, it’s your girl here. Kakyoin’s been my favourite JJBA character for a while and I was thinking about him this morning, so I figured I should write something on him to spread my love and complete admiration for this man. This might be a pretty long post since I plan to write a detailed breakdown on him and how he was portrayed in the story but either way I hope you Kakyoin kinnies enjoy this one. :)

Appearance

Kakyoin is definitely one of the most attractive men I have ever seen. His features are absolutely dazzling and don’t fail to amaze me. My favourite is probably his lustrous purple eyes and cherry red locks, both of which are natural. His looks are absolutely stunning and add more reason as to why I fell for this man.

His overall bodily structure is generally more feminine then masculine, having a slim waistline, large chest and hips and slender legs. I often like imagining an alternate universe where Kakyoin is portrayed as female.

The way he communicates is also generally more effeminate then masculine. It has been said that Kakyoin utilises ‘gendered language’ and utilises a softer Japanese dialect and speech patterns more typically associated with women, which is commonly referred to as ‘onna kotoba’ (女言葉, “women’s words”).

Analysis

Kakyoin was a quiet, introverted individual who usually kept to himself, though this is obviously prior to him meeting Jotaro and the rest of the Crusaders, which is when he began opening up to others after experiencing love and friendship for the first time. Kakyoin generally maintains a polite and formal behavior, which fits his status as an honor student.

Kakyoin believed only respectable individuals were able to become friends of him, with the Crusaders being the only group he attached himself to. Having distanced himself from people his whole life for being ‘different,’ Kakyoin was truly able to experience true joy with the Crusaders, and those 50 days proved to be the happiest days of his life.

Despite being in isolation his whole life, Kakyoin was able to build a strong bond with the Crusaders, most particularly Jotaro. We are able to see that friendship is something that Kakyoin values very much. Having looked back on his past actions, Kakyoin vowed to change into someone who could protect the people he cared for and become someone who people could look up to.

Kakyoin was a kind soul, willing to put others before himself. He was willing to do all he could to protect his friends whom he loved so dearly. In Chapter 55 of Stardust Crusaders (episode 19 in the anime), Kakyoin was faced with Death 13, and from there we were able to see that Kakyoin was willing to go as far as make a fool of himself just to protect his friends from harm.

Later on, in Chapter 254 of SC (episode 46 in the anime), Kakyoin loses his life at the hands of DIO, and during his final moments, he chose to use the last embers of his strength to inform his friends of DIO’s stand ability to prevent them from being killed, with him eventually dying due to blood loss, not knowing whether or not his friends would survive. Personally I believe that though his death was heartbreaking, Kakyoin had really played his part as a member of the Crusaders well. Throughout the duration of the series he remained a strong and confident figure even in moments of despair.

It has always amazed me how much Kakyoin grew as a character as the story progressed. He was such an important part of the Crusaders and I can’t imagine the group without him. Kakyoin deserved so much more then what he was given, and he definitely deserved to see another day instead of spending his last few breaths dying at the hands of DIO.

When Kakyoin first appears, he is under control by DIO’s flesh bud, and after being saved from death by Jotaro, he begins to see everything in a new light, after which he joins the Crusaders on their journey to Egypt, remaining a loyal, kind and compassionate friend throughout the journey.

During his first fight with Tower of Grey, we already see that Kakyoin is a confident and merciless fighter. Kakyoin is shown to be violent and ruthless when faced with enemy Stand users, shown when he remorselessly kills all of his opponents (with the exception of Mannish Boy), his reasoning being that they are evil beyond redemption. We also see that he is the most quick-thinking out of the entire group, shown when he effectively takes out both Tower of Grey and later on, Death 13. 

Kakyoin is a righteous though blunt individual, being extremely loyal to his companions and ruthless to his opponents. Kakyoin has also displayed himself to be manipulatively charismatic around opponents, shown with his fight with Jotaro. He can also be quite cold and prideful, and is also noted to be stern and blunt. 

Kakyoin states his reasons for joining the Crusaders is due to fighting evil, but also as a way of thanking Jotaro for saving his life. From this we see Kakyoin is a fearless individual, being able to stand strong even in the most dire of situations, even when DIO’s stand, The World had willingly punched through his abdomen.

Appreciation Post

Kakyoin is definitely a character that deserved way more than what he was given. I would have loved to see what Araki would do with him if he had survived his fight with DIO. A fair amount of people I’ve met appreciate Kakyoin, but personally I think that appreciation isn’t enough. Part 3 really wouldn’t be the same without him, and Kakyoin deserves to be more widely recognised for his actions.

A lot of people have claimed that they see themselves in Kakyoin, and I have to admit that I myself do too. A lot of aspects surrounding Kakyoin are things I have personally experienced and relate to, and that’s one of the many reasons why I love him and think he’s amazing.

Kakyoin is the kindest soul I have ever come across. He was willing to throw his life away just to protect someone he barely even knew, and went on that journey to Egypt with the people he loved the most. With the people who truly accepted him for who he was. He died without any regrets, and during those last moments he didn’t think of himself, or about his life back at home. Instead, he thought about the people he went on this journey with and swore to protect, and that’s something I truly find respectable and admirable.

Kakyoin spent so many years wondering the meaning of his life. He spent so long refusing to reach out to anyone, living his life in isolation. It’s satisfying to think that during his final days he finally found the meaning to his life, and it melts my heart to know that along with that discovery he found happiness.

All he ever wanted was to make his friends happy. All he ever wanted was to make them proud, and he did. He fought with all he had, not knowing whether or not he would survive. But he knew that important people were waiting for him to return, and that’s what pushed him forward. He fought for his friends harder than anyone would have ever fought for anything. 

17 years of loneliness and 50 days of friendship. And if you were to ask him, ‘Was it worth it?’

I'm pretty sure he’d say yes.

- izzy

[eurosong]

Undo my ESC '21 (semi-final two)

Good afternoon folks, and welcome to the second part of Undo my ESC – my annual quest to make the year’s Eurovision better (at least, for me xD) by making a feasible change in each country – it could be something as small as altering a lyric or a staging detail, or as big as a different artist entirely winning the NF. Semi-final one was here so let's jump straight into SF2!

🇸🇲 San Marino: We're thrown into the deep end here with a fan fav that doesn't do at all for me. I'm one of maybe 5 people on the planet who prefers Freaky by far, I guess? I'm happy for Senhit to be getting so much love and for the diminutive serene republic to finally have a shot at a good result - but I'm not so keen on the way it's been done. There's a bit of cognitive dissonance for me because my favourite thing about Adrenalina is Flo Rida's rap, but I don't like the idea of bringing in famed American artists like "ringers" to elevate a song above one with "only" local talent. I would be so tempted to give the rap part to local artist IROL instead to spit some hot bars in Italian.

🇪🇪 Estonia: I had hope this year, I really did, for my era of absolutely adoring Estonia at ESC to be revived after 4 painful years. There were so many good songs at this year's Eesti Laul, like those of Ivo Linna, Egert, Gram of fun, Heleza - but ultimately, my huge favourite was, as expected, Jüri Pootsmann. Anyone who followed this blog back in 2016 knows how much I adore Jüri and was desperate to see him get a redemption arc at ESC itself. Magus melanhoolia was one of the best songs of the season for me and one of the best stagings. As much as I prefer '20 artists to get their shot in '21, problematic Uku with his toxic ex vibes song will have to step aside and let the Jüri renaissance happen here.

🇨🇿 Czechia: I really dig Benny Cristo - he has personality, presence and his own enjoyable style. At first I was kinda disappointed with Omaga because I was expecting something more in the vein of Kemama, with more pronounced Afrobeat influences. But it has grown on me a lot too. My change? Add more Czech than just one blink-and-you-miss-it line, mate! (Article continues below)

🇬🇷 Greece: I see this being talked up as potential televote top 3 and I just don't get it. Maybe it's the way the chorus rhymes dance with itself three times (and uses the term rockin' romance unironically); maybe it's the way that there are better 80s-inspired songs both in ESC and many fallen tributes in the NF season... it just leaves me cold. I actually preferred Supergirl and my change would be for Stefania to bring something with some actual Greek flair.

🇦🇹 Austria: I’ll echo what I said last year about Österreich – how did they go from Conchita to a guy who wished he wouldn’t have gay kids like this? I find both of this guy's songs insipid in different ways and I would invite Pænda back instead to avenge her getting robbed with the beautiful Limits. Or give a second shot at glory to the incredible Cesár!

🇵🇱 Poland: Unpopular opinion, but I absolutely love The Ride, and I feel bad for Alicja, but I much prefer it to Empires. What started as an ironic fondness for Rafał's cringy uncle vibes ended up being genuine appreciation - it's one of the few 80s-inspired songs that sound like they actually could have come out of that decade rather than like modern pastiches. And Raf actually does have an awkward charisma. My change - insert some Polish! Poland does so well with natural sounding bilingual efforts in JESC, they should bring it to the main contest too!

🇲🇩 Moldova: I was lowkey prepared to be disappointed by Moldova - I actually enjoyed Prison a lot and the news that they were going in a completely different direction didn't sit so well with me. And yet, I also love Sugar. Natalia's power! My changes: get rid of that weird scene with literally egg on her face - too on the nose for me. And incorporate a bit of the stellar Russian translation, Tuz bubi, because I'm always going to be advocating for more linguistic diversity xD

🇮🇸 Iceland: Daði Freyr can literally do no wrong with me. Whilst it doesn't have the same intense extra-fandom hype that Think about things did, I think I like Ten years even more. Nothing to change here.

🇷🇸 Serbia: It's no secret that Hurricane were far from my favourites at Beovizija 20, and that I find this a downgrade for Sanja compared to her powerful '16 song. And yet... Hasta la vista grew on me a lot, and so has Loco loco. It's something that is definitely scratching an itch at this year's ESC and the burst of anarchic energy it'll provide will be amazing. I am seriously tempted to change to the acoustic version, though, which has all the attitude of the original but is more beautiful for me and lets the girls' voices shine more.

🇬🇪 Georgia: Georgia keeps serving acquired tastes, and as a patron saint of marginal genres and I love them for that. This year, they've gone for something that even many fans of Tornike find hard to swallow - gone is the roaring rock of last year, replaced with a much more contemplative, soft effort that reminds me a little of Lou Reed. I enjoy both songs, but I can't deny preferring 2020. At the same time, I admire the chutzpah required to send something so different. I just wish there could be a moment to properly showcase T's powerhouse vocals.

🇦🇱 Albania: It was an odd Festival i këngës this year, outdoors in the freezing cold and without the orchestra that makes the songs soar so much more for me. Karma is a perfectly respectable winner, albeit one that lacks the immediacy and rawness of Shaj, Ktheju tokës and Mall. In my ideal alternate reälity, Arilena Ara would have been invited back. She'd bring a song as beautiful as Shaj - and not do a revamp into English that removes its edge this time.

🇵🇹 Portugal: 2015-2020 was a full on Portugal stan era for me. I want to believe that this year is an aberration and that in 2022, our lusitanian neighbours will produce the goods once again. Because ending a colossal streak of not sending songs that don't include Portuguese for this? I am baffled. I wanted the anthemic Joana do mar, produced beautifully by Luísa Sobral, or the timeless Contramão, which sounds like it escaped a Nouvelle Vague soundtrack. Saudade, Por um triz or a number of others would have been grand too.

🇧🇬 Bulgaria: I wasn't expecting much from Bulgaria - I really didn't and don't like TGS and the majority of songs in Victoria's NF-but-not-really aren't my cup of tea. I was happy she got her second chance, but resigned to not liking the song much that would get picked. And then, my fav, which was last in many community ratings, ended up being her pick. I adore GUIGO and believe it has the possibility to do very, very well at Rotterdam and be one of the 'moments' of the evening.

🇫🇮 Finland: CRIMINAL how YLE treated Aksel - it felt like he wasn't the defending champion, and that Erika Vikman had won the previous year. They also - I believe, deliberately - split his vote by making his just one of a number of ballads, so of course what stood out most were the two decidedly non-ballady songs. Finland only two years ago had a single-artist UMK. They could and should have brought it back for Aksel. I'd hope Hurt would win it, because that song is stunning.

🇱🇻 Latvia: I was, and am, delighted that Latvia stuck with Samanta Tina. The lady lives and breathes ESC, even wrote a university thesis about it, and if she tried so many times, finally won and then DIDN'T get to go to ESC, I would have gone to LTV headquarters personally to remonstrate. I really like both her songs. The moon is rising is poised, powerful and like nothing else this year. The only thing I'd change is adding some Latvian because it's a gorgeous language and we've been waiting for ages to hear it again.

🇨🇭 Switzerland: Gjon's song is once again not really my cup of tea, or tears - but I enjoy it better than last year's and I'm glad he's back. Highkey wish it did include Albanian or Romansch like confused commenters last year thought it did.

🇩🇰 Denmark: There is literally no excuse for Denmark's treatment of Ben & Tan. I'm not even a big fan of their music at all, out to not even allow them to compete in DMGP to defend their win with Iron heart? Even though there are songs that competed in DMGP that I prefer a lot, most notably Står lige her, I would probably have let them have a proper second chance.

And the automatic qualifiers voting in this semi -

🇫🇷 France: For me, France had an absolutely enthralling, sincere, perfectly Gallic entry that hit me so hard in the feels. And whilst I respect Voilà, no, that wasn't it. It was Pourvu qu'on m'aime, easily one of the best songs I heard all year inside NFs or out. I find Voilà a little too mannered and affected, whilst PQM is a shot straight from Juliette's heart into mine. In my dream, it'd have won CVQD and be receiving the same love that Voilà is right now.

🇪🇸 Spain: Whilst it is getting next to no love in the fandom and seems quite forgotten, I find Voy a quedarme one of the best songs sent from this country in several years - and I say that having preferred Memoria. I am proud of Blas and love that he had a hand in writing this song. My change? He said recently that the staging in Rotterdam won't be inspired by the poignant music video despite wanting it to be - I would incorporate elements from it in the live.

🇬🇧 United Kingdom: Frankly, I think almost all the Big 5+1 brought it this year, with the notable exception of Germany. Embers is the banger that I never thought was coming from James Newman, and it's been one of the biggest earworms of the season. I wouldn't change anything about it - I'd just ensure that the staging replicated the energy of the video as much as possible!

[fortune-fool02]

Confused Desires

Dio Brando x female reader

This is something I had in my head for a bit and wanted to write it out. It is a little different than what I usually write. 

Warnings: Mentions of sex, comfort, confused feelings, fluff

Thank you and please enjoy.

It was a simple thing. A desire that every human experienced at some point in their lives. Some experience it younger than others. Others enjoy it more than some and there are those who see it as an emotional deep connection with someone they trusted with their heart and soul; then there were those who saw it nothing more as harmless fun with their bodies. 

Dio saw it as the latter, of course. He had no interest in emotional connections and he made that very clear to anyone who he allowed them the honour of having him take them in such a way. He was a man of status, physically appealing to both men and women, and he used that to his advantage. He held no shame in what he did, but he did make sure that he was careful about it. Going to places where they would not ask for a name and simply enjoy himself.

The sweet alcohol left a nice fruity taste on his lips, adding to the atmosphere. The decor of the interior and the soft music that played, filling the silence just enough for the conversations to not be drowned out. Many of the visitors had arranged for their meet ups with their usual favourite, but Dio was not feeling in the mood that day. He seeked something new. Someone different. 

And there he saw her. A face he has not seen among the usual crowd of workers here. [Skin colour] skin that was flawless and smooth much like porcelain with silky [Hair colour] locks that framed her delicate face. Her build was what many would find ideal, even with her clothes concealing it all, there was no hiding her figure. Unlike those around her, she seemed to glow with a light they didn’t. 

She was clearly new here. She hasn’t had the continuous experience of this place like the others had. Perhaps this could help him somehow? It was a simple conversation and offer, the both of them knew of the reason for this and accepted it. Dio took the room he always did, having it specially reserved for him and him alone. Dio did not do what he usually did and take her the moment the door was shut, instead, he offered her a drink which she kindly accepted. 

This adorable [Hair colour] woman was clearly no older than himself, take a year or so, yet she held this innocence in her [Eye colour] eyes. He struggled to describe it. She knew what she was here for but she simple accepted it. She was patient and considerate. There was this genuine curiosity for him that was not just empty interest to get him into the bed faster, he could tell by those [Eye colour] orbs of hers. 

The conversation was nothing short of polite and comfortable but Dio was not there for chit-chat. Tender touches became heated with passion as did the kisses. Clothes fell to the floor, forgotten until the morning dawn, the two drunk on passion and lust; entranced by one another. It was a pleasure Dio had not felt before, it felt more than just a simple one-time thing and he didn’t know why. He just knew that it was different and it was absolutely incredible. 

Her name was spoken like a prayer from his lips, praising her on her actions. Her touch was soft, taking her time with him to ensure that he was enjoying it; and by God he was. His body was shaking by the time they had come to their climaxes. Warmth had filled his blood, giving a sense of comfort he had no felt with anyone else in this place. 

Dio was still thinking of all this when morning came around. [Name] slept soundly on the bed, her expression was peaceful and adorable; and he could not stop looking at her. The softness of her skin, the warmth of her touch, all of it. Especially how she was genuinely curious of his life. She never spoke out of term and addressed him with such politeness. It was a little refreshing to him.

This little meet-up became almost a routine of sorts. He would come by every weekend, they would go to the same room and talk; and each night would leave Dio’s body sparking with desire and pleasure as if they are sharing it for the first time again. He loved it. He learned quite a bit about this lovely woman. [Name] was here not for the pleasure but for the fact she needed a way to afford food for her family and keep the roof over their heads. But none of them knew what she worked in. Dio knew it was not uncommon for women to turn to this line of work for money but something about [Name] drew him in. 

Even when they were away from one another, she didn’t leave his mind. Her touches still ghosted his skin, those beautiful [Eye colour] eyes sparkling in his mind. He needed to see her more. And not in such conditions. Whatever this connection was, Dio wanted more of it, he craved more of it. 

***

A soft sigh brushed past his lips, entering the usual room and awaiting for [Name] to arrive. After thinking about it for the past few weeks, Dio had finally made up his mind for what he was going to do. The mere thought of [Name] being touched by another man in this place made his blood boil. He could not allow that to happen. 

He had already spoken to the owner of this establishment, and having to negotiate a price that both of them saw fit enough, and had come to an agreement on [Name]’s terms and conditions of being here. 

The door opened and the [Hair colour] woman entered, a soft smile on her lips when she saw Dio standing there. “Hello Dio. It’s lovely to see you again.” her voice was sweet to his ears, offering her a smile, he motioned her to approach him. She walked over and took a seat at the small, polished table waiting for Dio to speak. 

The golden haired man took his own seat, his expression set in a serious state, showing that something was amiss and that did pluck worry in her a little. Was he no longer satisfied with her? If so then she accepted this. 

“[Name], it has come to my attention that this place is unsuitable for you. Men here, other men, will use you like a toy and I cannot allow that.” Dio did not once take his sharp ember eyes off of her as he spoke, watching as confusion painted her delicate features. He continued. “There is something about you, my dear, that I can no longer ignore. You radiate like a stunning flower, a jewel, if you will. And I cannot let others touch you and taint you. You deserve far better.” 

Confusion swirled in her. Dio was aware that she was under contract to be here, and had to abide by those terms and conditions. She could not just up and leave with a client, even if she wanted to. 

“Dio, I am truly flattered that you think that. But I am here on contract, I cannot break those terms or-” Before she could explain, he cut her off, pulling a piece of paper from the side and sliding it over to her. She took it into her hands and read over it; [Eye colour] eyes widening as she did. This...This was her terms and conditions document but the bottom of it said that she had fulfilled the agreement she and the owner had. What? No she hadn’t. Wait...

She looked up at Dio, hoping for an answer of some kind. 

“I have spoken with the madam of this place, we came to an agreement. You are free to leave.” So many questions swam through her head but she almost couldn’t speak. Only one question could pass her lips. 

“Why? Why do this for me?” she asked. What did Dio gain from all this. He simply sat back in his seat and took a sip from his drink. 

“Because I don’t like having other people touch something of mine. I have grown fond of you, [Name]. And would much rather have you by my side rather than just in bed.” 

She was speechless. Utterly speechless. He didn’t want to get rid of her, he wanted to keep her. This was something she had given up hope for long ago. Yet Dio was offering her a place by his side as someone more than just a regular. It was...shocking. 

A smile lifted her lips, Dio’s ember eyes softening softly at this. “Thank you, Dio.” 

[terrence-silver]

Thanks so much for your sweet tags on my story! I love all the content you provide us and I can't help myself but request more Terry from you. How about. . .Terry trying to seduce Reader, but Reader is oblivious and thinks they're just best friends.

@atmostories thank you so much, this one is for you 🖤

---

This never happened before.

And he’s had his conquests. Yes. He once spent several years after he returned from Vietnam and got his Business and Masters Degree just travelling Europe and fucking around. Quite literally speaking. He had the looks to pull it off. He had the charm. He had the means and the money. Also, it was the 70′s and he needed to blow some steam off and make up for all the years lost in the war and after his parents died. But, what he never had before is someone being daft enough not to realize that when a man arranges to see you in his own private steam room sauna (which you didn’t even realize he owned, naturally - hiding the truth in plain sight) with nothing but a towel on and a bottle of champagne and two glasses that it’s supposed to mean something. How does one not understand the implications? Were you playing hard to get? Did you enjoy people working a bit more then usual for you due to some sort of abandonment issues? Was he simply losing his touch? Was this some sort of mind game? Were you somehow manipulating him for covert reasons he couldn’t quite read yet? No. No, you weren’t. Terry Silver could spot a shady, two-faced individual when he saw one (he’d know, from personal experience) and you weren’t one.

You were just - you.

Happy and friendly and cheerful and just normal. He wouldn’t call you insecure. Wouldn’t call you terribly secure either. Were you one of those people who didn’t believe they were loveable to anyone? Did you just subconsciously reject all offered affection because you didn’t believe you were deserving of it? Were you afraid? Did you have a traumatic childhood? Were you abused by someone before and who’s neck did he have to snap? Was he psychoanalyzing you too much? Terry Silver was just horrendously annoyed with you for the longest time now. It’s like you were a shut book he couldn’t read. So open, yet so unavailable. And he’s tried practically everything under the sun. He’s called you beautiful. He complemented you. Occasionally brushed against you. Smiled at you. Acted beyond polite. Beyond sweet. Was always there for you, close by, for whatever and whenever. Once or twice went as far as attempting to invoke your lust first if he couldn’t your affection and just straight-up untying the upper part of his gi and pretending to stretch out after a long training session, hoping to impress you with his physique and the sweat lining his muscles. He worked hard to look like this.

You politely looked away and excused yourself out.

Giving him privacy.

Privacy!?

-”Be careful, don’t catch a cold like that. Could be dangerous.”-

You jovially mentioned with care on your way out of the dojo training hall leaving him to stand there with a naked torso, waving him an idle goodbye, not looking back as not to make him uncomfortable by peeking - no irony, no sarcasm, nothing suggestive, no meanspirited joking in your tone of voice - just genuinely good-natured concern for his health, well-being and the utmost respect for his bodily autonomy. Honestly - fuck you. First of all, you were in LA and it was the asphalt was searing mid-summer, how the heck is he gonna catch a cold? Second of all, not even John treated him with this much detached friendliness and that was actually his friend. Even John was more touchy-feely, close and warm with him just by nature of being. This was ridiculous. In fact, it was outrageous. What was he even supposed to do next? Show up in your bedroom, just lay down and wait for you to arrive? Knowing you, you’d no doubt be absolutely okay with him chastely sleeping over and you’d probably borrow him your pillow and tuck him in too and just go to rest in the other room with not a care in the world.

How could a person like that even exist?

Did you have eyes?

Maybe he just wasn’t your type. But then again, highly improbable, Terry Silver was nearly everyone’s type and if he wasn’t, he’d make himself be their type. He’d get under their skin and make them believe he was their type even if they didn’t believe themselves initially. Oh, the idea though - the idea of not being your type. Why did it fill him with so much - well - resentment? Anger, almost? Loathing? Why was there a pit deep in his belly swallowing all his pity, patience and understanding for you like an ever-expanding crater of darkness? Why did he want to take whatever kind of person you were into a just rip them to shreds until nothing worthy admiration and attraction remained? Just degrade them, hurt them and destroy them until there was nothing to love anymore? He’s been at this game for over a year now. Over a year. In his kind of life, a year was an eternity. Two was just flat-out embarrassing. Stock-markets crash, companies go bankrupt and he makes his next million. He never spent a year trying to get anyone to like him for amorous purposes. And this beating around the bush would end today.

After much self-reflection and pondering.

Consultations from everyone starting from Margaret.

Milos, Snake, Dennis and even Mike Barnes, horribly enough.

Terry decided to pull out the big L.

Because really, who could resist a confession of love, strictly strategically speaking? It was a move worthy of the Art of War. Even when not mutual (and he’d make sure it would be by any means necessary) if anything, the other person would be flattered. Put off guard. Confused. Amused at best. Literally anything but the putrid, disgusting, disturbing sense of flat-line familial kinship you’ve endued him with against his will. He wasn’t your dad. He wasn’t your brother. He wasn’t your cousin. He wasn’t your friend. Your acquittance. Don’t you realize what he wanted to do with you? He wanted to possess you whole and make you scream on every surface in every chamber of his 100 room house and keep repeating that forever and ever and ever until you live through nothing but him. How dare you? The thought of not winning. The thought of just being rejected by your obliviousness. It brought him so close to the edge of breaking out of the weak, saccharine, nonsensical, subdued character he constructed for himself. It brought him so painfully close. Just shedding his facade and taking what he wanted in the crudest, foulest way possible - it would be so easy. So easy. At this point he was insulted.

But he held back for your sake.

He didn’t even understand why he’d care to.

Why he’d care not to frighten, repulse or push you away.

Usually, that would be his most preferred part of the game.

Not now, though.

Why?

Why he’d even begin to care to read all the possible moods etched into your face, bother with the levels of your comfort and discomfort to make the setup perfect, natural, soft and intimate and just say the words as gently and with as emotion as humanly possible without trying to come off too strongly? Which is exactly what he did. Upon which your reaction was to merely smile blissfully (disappointing) just tap him on the shoulder (even more disappointing), give it a fond little squeeze like you would your favourite coworker during lunchbreak (unimaginably disappointing) and just respond with a casual and off-puttingly, wretchedly non-chalant;

-”Yeah, sure, I love you too.”-

Yeah, sure!?

Sure!?

You kept eating the ice cream he’s bought you.

Unphased, unbothered, unaware and dumb as a rock.

Terry Silver was just stunned for the rest of the evening.

In ways he doesn’t quite recall being in, well - ever.

Did you just confess to loving him as a friend?

To his face?

And he let you survive that?

Alright then. It was decided there and then. He wanted to strangle you. Yes. But he’d leave that for another time. For now, he’d say goodbye to you in good humor and cheer like he always did and leave this unfortunate, hideous fiasco of a night behind him even though you (of course) appeared to be legitimately enjoying yourself. The next time you meet him, he’ll be himself. His actual self. None of this sugary, flowery, tame tip-toeing around the substance of things. No more sparing you. No more patience. No more waiting. No more going soft on you. No more trying to tenderly, slowly ease you into things. No. If ordinary, commonplace, humble Terry was someone you considered a mere friend - a best friend, to make things doubly offensive - the actual, real Terry wasn’t going to accept that. The actual, real Terry took whatever he wanted whenever he wanted. The actual, real Terry wasn’t lenient, merciful or even remotely open to rejection. And this was all your fault. All of it. You could have had the nice, kind, darling, innocent, angelic Terry who takes you out on cute little walks, asks permission to hold your hand gingerly and buys you ice cream and smiles charmingly at you with the widest, fullest grin he could possibly manage. You wanted the other guy instead, didn’t you? You pushed his hand. Forced it even.

He went to his actual home that night despite the risk of it.

The hills overlooking the shimmering skyline of the city.

You knew this place, without realizing you knew it.

He burned all his pretend-clothes -

On the embers of a lit cigar.

And seething with cold rage -- 

He decided to re-introduce himself to you.

They say honesty was the best policy, after all.