#so here you go: clarity motherfuckers

[leupagus]

I’ve had a post go moderately viral, oh God

but I will say I’ve been scrolling through the replies/reblogs to this and it is F A S C I N A T I N G to see how many people use it to complain about the way others have behaved toward them without once examining how they in turn have behaved.

Thinking of yourself as primarily the victim of other people’s unkindness is treating yourself as a character (albeit a main character) and that might be the most fucked up thing of all.

[herejusttosufferalong]

ust when I start to feel like I have a grip on what happened with the part 2 premiere and papgate, I learn or remember something that completely throws me. I feel like I need to lay out some evidence for my own mental clarity. 

I had a bad feeling something was brewing the night of the London premiere before the BackGrid pictures came out based on L’s energy on the red carpet. Here is evidence that SOMETHING was up.

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRoTmvL4/ People have focused on how cute this is of N and LT, but it’s telling that LT and Claudia form a little huddle of love around her and Hannah joins in. People were feeling very protective of N that night. I can almost imagine LT whispering in her ear, “How are you doing?” and Nic saying with a smile plastered on her face, “He brought her.”

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRoT9dYE/ Some interpret this as Golda smirking at the lovebirds, but I have never seen anything other than pure disdain in her expression. She is thinking “You motherfucker” and you can’t convince me otherwise. 

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTNbowwQu/ I was reminded of this clip here a few days ago and holy shit. Sam and Joanna are protectively huddled around N, the expression on Sam’s face as he looks directly at L is…not friendly, and I totally see the “stupid arse” thing. That’s not to mention L, who legitimately looks like he’s going to throw up. He is paranoid they are talking about him and, guess what, they are. 

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZPRoTvvuH/ Let’s not forget this little dig. N is too classy to reveal anything outright, but her response feels so pointed and L’s reaction is so awkward.  

A few more random thoughts about the night:

I can’t find clips right now that illustrate this, but I remember noticing that L was constantly flicking his eyes upwards throughout the red carpet. He was hyperconscious of the fact that A was watching him from up in that glass box AND that N and the cast knew A was up there.

It struck me recently that I hadn’t seen any pictures or videos of C or LT with LN on this red carpet. LN had a hug with HD and there were those documented moments with Simone, but I would find it very telling if we couldn’t find a single pic or video of C interacting with LN that night. Happy to be proved wrong on this one #showittomeRachel.

I know the official story is that N left the afterparty early because she started filming TMFT the next day, but let’s be real. This was the final event for HER season of Bton. This is a project she loves and a cast that she cares deeply about. If she had wanted to shut the party down, she would have. 

So far, all of this awkwardness could be explained simply by A’s presence and nothing at all related to the paparazzi. The thing that is still SO suspicious to me that makes me think L knew the paparazzi would be there when he left the party is that he was the last to leave the party. Think about everything you have ever read/heard about L in social situations. That sort of gathering is absolutely not his scene. He’s talked about how much he loves an Irish Goodbye. I also feel like it’s sort of cringey to be the last one at a party like that, especially if all of the other main actors have left, including your costar. Why would he have waited until literally everyone else had gone if not because he didn’t want anyone else around for the pap pics? I know people really don’t want to believe L was involved because it is shitty to think about, but I think there are too many odd things that stack up for him to have been blindsided by it. 

The thing that haunts me is that he seemed AWKWARD about everything that transpired that night. This was not a man who felt confident and in control of his life decisions. If this was meant to be the hard launch of a girlfriend, a million different things could have happened. He could have told interviewers how excited he was to have his mom, sister, and gf with him for the event. He could have put his arm around A, grabbed her hand, smiled at the camera, kissed A’s cheek, etc. while the cameras were flashing.

So, that leaves me convinced of two things: Luke knew the paparazzi would be there AND he didn’t want to be photographed with A (at least in a way that would confirm a serious relationship). After tossing around different explanations in my mind, here is what I have come up with.

L is a serial monogamist who really struggles to be alone. He kept A around during the WT because it gave him comfort and a feeling of power to know he had a romantic partner. This would have been important to him for various possible reasons: maybe N was attached to someone during this time and he didn’t want to be the single one; maybe N had rejected his advances and he wanted to seem unbothered; maybe neither he nor N had made a move on each other but he was feelings things towards N he didn’t know how to cope with and A was a distraction. Regardless, he kept A in the picture, though their relationship obviously had a LOT of asterisks surrounding it. He invited her to the premiere at a time when he was feeling especially insecure (for any of the reasons I mentioned above). In his mind, it was going to feel good to have her there. And I think at some point right before the premiere, she convinced him they needed to launch the relationship. If it’s true that something had been going on between them since the fall, then it had been at least eight months of her letting him keep her hidden in the shadows while he flirted shamelessly with his gorgeous soulmate–I mean costar–for the world to see. He agreed to this at a time when he wasn’t secure in whatever he and N had and couldn’t find a compelling reason to say no to A’s request. 

But I think he underestimated two things:

1) How shitty it would feel to have A at the premiere as his date after getting so close to N in those last few legs of the tour. I think Ireland especially shifted something and he realized not just how much N meant to him but, very importantly, how much he meant to N.

2) How much N would care about A’s presence. I think N must have played it very cool about A during the tour. Either didn’t really acknowledge her or brought her up in a casual way to show she was unbothered. But I think the sequence of Brazil, Toronto, and especially Ireland hit N hard and she became emotionally invested in (and available to?) L in a way that she hadn’t let herself be before. I’m not sure she said anything to him, but I think they could both feel it. A’s presence at the prem ended up feeling like a slap in the face to N in a way that L did not anticipate. 

I think L initially thought that having A at the premiere would be a confidence boost, but having her there backfired. He didn’t realize how awkward and embarrassed he would feel by A’s presence. When it’s just L and A  or when they’re with R and S, L doesn’t feel as self-conscious about things like A’s age, her SM antics, her unseriousness. But when he, N, and A are all in the same space, the silliness of his relationship with A and the differences between N and A really hits him. Frankly (and I don’t say this to be cruel to A), I think he feels mortified about N witnessing his relationship with A up close and personal. So I think what we’re witnessing at the red carpet and in the pap pics is a man who committed to a plan (inviting A and setting up the pics) at a time when he felt a) insecure in his connection with N, 2) unaware of how much N cared about him, and 3) unaware of how much he would care about N’s opinion of him (sorry, that’s convoluted). We know he is not a decisive person, so he let this nightmare scenario play out and is now living with the consequences of his passivity. 

That is ALL TO SAY: I think it’s possible to believe that L was involved with the pap pics AND that he cares about N/didn’t want to hurt her/is totally in love with her. Anyone else out there who feels like it’s possible to hold these two truths in your head at once?

so this is more of a take I saw floating around in the wake of it all

curious to see how it lands with y'all now

[archivalofsins]

I feel like people really do pick and choose when Jackalope is an unreliable source of information.

This would be fine if it this were ever tied to any of his characterization over the course of series. Yet, half the time it just boils down to him saying something that a person subjectively doesn't agree with.

Then that someone going,

"Remember the characters can lie, they aren't infallible, this includes Jackalope~ <3 Please and thank you!"

Without explaining or even going over any of times Jackalope has been overtly bias. Of which they are many to actually elaborate further on why they believe this is the case. It's honestly why I've been getting really sick of the blanket term vibes when it comes to describing the character of an individual or concept.

It's such an easy way to discount something without giving it much thought.

Saying that the characters can be bias is pretty much the same as that to me. Except it oddly glances over the fact that the audience can be bias as well and usually when someone tells someone something is the case without evidence that means one of two things,

A. They don't want to think about the topic too much themselves.

B. They don't want you to think about the topic too much yourself.

Either way they don't want anyone thinking which is never a good thing.

(Edited for clarity and to expand on certain points: 07/19/2024 12:58pm)

For example- if I were to say,

"Ya, know I don't like how Jackalope discussed Yuno. I feel like he was being a bit dishonest in the report on her at the end of trial two. I mean we know he has a bias for cute women and it seems like he's just agreeing with her statement because she's his type."

That would still have more thought put into it than what people have been saying about his report on Mikoto and I could actually prove that. Because it directly aligns with how he has consistently been portrayed.

But I didn't say he was fucking lying for her because even though he has a bias towards cute girls he has no fucking reason to. But you just said he has a bias towards her so he would lie to keep her looking good and make us think it was really that simple if he liked her.

Have none of you been watching? Do you not know what makes Jackalope go apeshit? From the web series and the novels yet? What really gets this motherfucker heated more than any woman- Let me give a quick refresher.

"It’s not easy. Of course it’s not easy. Crime is not easy! Punishment is not easy!! Don’t I know it! But don’t you see! What I’m looking for is there, in that decision arrived at only after wading through all that morass!! …Ahem. Sorry, got a little heated."

His Milgram. His Experiment. The thing that he is here to test. The first novel goes to extra lengths to expand on this hyper focus he has on this experiment and what Milgram sets out to do.

So, I don't have to question his honesty on Yuno because I know whatever he says is being said in a way as to not mess up the process. Because that is what he is the most interested in. Regardless of if he doesn't always agree with the results.

That's why it personally irks me when someone just goes- Remember, the characters can be swayed by their own subjective beliefs and experiences. So, they can be unreliable narrators. This includes Jackalope without delving into any of his characterization.

Because I don't know, some people may really believe that Jackalope just shows up to tell lies and has no vested interest in Milgram as a facility or the experiment taking place.

But secondly-

Yeah, that's how good characterization works. Like yeah that's just characterization...

Sometimes, I feel like in this day and age if some were to read a first-person novel where the narrator was unreliable for any number of reasons.... Ugh, they might legitimately believe the book was lying to them. Like the book was being dishonest. Instead of that being a very specific aspect connected to the characterization of the character perceiving the events of the story.

So, I'm gonna do it myself because some people are honestly doing Jackalope dirty right now. Which I thought I'd never have to defend the rabbit but-

Jackalope does not care about Mikoto Kayano. Let's dissect.

Firstly Mikoto is the prisoner Jackalope admitted from the very beginning he doesn't give a damn about one way or the other-

In the very first voice drama. He didn't even want to spend more than one second talking about the man when they got to him.

Like oh he's biased. Yeah but was he ever biased against prisoners for personal reasons not pertaining to their crimes?

Jackalope from day one-

No he admitted to not being interested in the prisoners personal information to the point of not even remembering their ages. So, he wouldn't even know enough about Mikoto to hate him personally. Yet he notes that he doesn't know anything about their personal lives he never states he doesn't know anything about their crimes just that this is something for the guard to discern on their own.

I mostly bring this up because it showcases just how little Mikoto is on Jackalope's personal radar. There are other things that show this as well that we'll get into but this is the very first.

Honestly, from this alone it feels like Jackalope does not and has never cared that much for Mikoto. He didn't even care enough to check what the fuck was going on with him and his strange sleeping patterns even though they're fucking noted on his prisoner description on the website.

You know the thing that tipped Kotoko off that he may have dissociative identity disorder to begin with.

Kotoko is more emotionally invested in Mikoto than Jackalope ever has been,

"I already noticed Mikoto Kayano's weird behavior a while ago, and since I'm in the room right next to his, I kept and eye on him."

Why did you save me...? "Because your existence is helpful to me." That's... not an explanation... "I guess you're right. I'll be answering that question when it's my turn." ... ... "I don't mean to pre-empt things here after all." ...gh... Damn it... Mikoto... Suddenly lashing out like that... "Warden-san, look over here." What is it not Koto-...ko? "The hit got blocked in midair...? So, it's true that inmates can't attack you. Then why was Mikoto Kayano able to hit you...?" ...This is bad for my heart. Stop it. Besides, that's what i'd like to know as well... Ngh... It's time... Get out, Kotoko. "The song extraction thing, huh. Are you trying to say that something I'm not allowed to see?" I'm ignoring your question. Get out. "...Hm. Either way this has become interesting, hasn't it?" Kotoko...

"You've realized it too, haven't you? Based on this confirmation, it's likely that Mikoto Kayano has dissociative identity disorder, or in other words, a split personality."

Kotoko even blatantly admits to stalking Mikoto in her first voice drama,

"For example, me being suspicious of Mikoto Kayano's actions, carefully tracking him and his behavior."

Jackalope didn't care enough to look into any of the prisoners personally then and he still doesn't care now.

Hell, he cares more about being Futa's number one, day one, never gonna stop hater-

Then he will ever care about Mikoto. That is how little he cares.

But he cares enough to say he hates Futa without knowing anything about him personally. So, he could. Yeah, again, he doesn't know anything about them personally, but he knows their crimes/what they are in here for and can easily like or dislike them based on a number of biases outside of that information.

He just has never liked Futa and has done nothing to hide that fact.

Seriously, Jackalope said this shit from the beginning but I still had people up my ass like Jackalope would never lie about the severity of Futa's injuries in comparison to Mahiru's. Whaaaa- What do you mean?!

Meanwhile-

Jackalope what time is it? Hating o'clock you say, damn I guess-

"Because he was found “guilty”, he’s tormented, engulfed with anxiety. Shaking in his boots, I’d say. So amusing."

If Futa has one hater, I know it's going to be Jackalope. It will be no one else. If someone out there believe they're Futa's number one hater, they are wrong it is this rabbit. Jackalope is the guy in this niche situation.

Jackalope doesn't even give enough of a fuck to know Mikoto's name. If it wasn't on the incarceration sheet I doubt he would even know it. (this is hyperbole for comedic effect. I think he'd at least remember the dudes name.)

Still seriously I don't get what some people are on. Mikoto is not everyone's main character and that's fine. He doesn't need to be.

Jackalope said,

"This boy is bland and I don't cook without spices."

"A dime a dozen, a million like him. I could skip a stone in the street and hit five."

That's his opinion he stood on that, and he's free to have it. That has been his characterization on this since day one. He did not look any deeper to his own detriment and admission.

He really side eyed this dude like,

"Mm fake ass, phony ass, never told the truth in his life ass."

Then second trial went,

"We have a problem. MILGRAM’s control didn’t seem to work on him. That is to say, he’s got a real case of multiple identity disorder." - "Hey now. Don’t judge me so harshly! I’ve been doing this a long time, but… there’s a first time for everything. We’re in a bit of a mess ourselves over this, you know." X

Really went look, look, look this isn't on me- Mistakes happen don't look at me like that. But suddenly now I'm supposed to believe Mikoto is so much more intriguing to him that he'd lie and risk mucking up his own experiment?

Over Mikoto someone he didn't even bother to mention the feelings or reference the statements of in his end of second trial report on him? Like he failed to mention a damn thing Mikoto said himself while directly referencing what Yuno said basically cosigning her confession.

He really went for this man,

"Do you all not know how to count? Did you not see the bodies-"

And nothing else! I don't know how to explain this any differently. He does not care about this man. He cares more about these victims none of us have fucking seen! Because they've only been alluded to outside of the one other person we see in MeMe other than Mikoto.

That is how little he cares about this dude.

He made his report on Mikoto about the impact Mikoto's actions had on the lives of others instead of anything to do with the prisoner himself. The best we got in regards to Mikoto as a person was once again the recognition of his diagnosis and how that is impacting his memory and nothing else.

Jackalope said he had no interest in Kazui but still spoke on that man's feelings enough to call him emo,

"He’s a self-admitted liar, have you been able to solve the mystery? It all feels very emo and I can’t bring myself to be very interested in him, but the fact that you’re so accommodating to him, is commendable."

There's a recognition of emotions there.

With Mikoto, Jackalope just reiterated what several other people, including Mikoto himself, have said. That Mikoto doesn't remember and then stated that just because he doesn't remember doesn't mean he's any less responsible for what he did, basically.

Which is an absolutely fucking true statement.

Like I can say that I don't remember something that impacted someone else. I forget a lot of things, but that doesn't negate the impact the action had on them. Plus, when I say that I don't remember something, I'm not saying that to negate or lampshade the impact I've had. I'm saying it as a neutral statement because that's what "I don't remember" is when you have a disorder that fucks with your memory. It's literally I don't remember that can you explain more. That's all that is. It's a really neutral statement. No one with a disorder that fucks with their memory is trying to gaslight anyone into believing it didn't happen that way when they say they don't remember something.

Mikoto is literally gaslighting people, though. Because his I don't remember is attached to phrases like,

"Maybe you got the wrong person.", "How do you know I even did that?", "All I did was dream."

In their second voice drama they even go as far as to call into scrutiny the song extraction itself. Something being done by a machine completely devoid of any individual bias as it is solely meant to display how the prisoner perceives their actions.

Downright stating that the footage extracted could have been fraudulent or more extreme due to his Dissociative Identity Disorder,

"That too could be just a fake or attributed to the multiple personalities, right?!"

Mikoto's Second Voice Drama- 9:10

These statements when combined with "I don't remember" lead the viewer to question,

If they are remembering/perceiving things accurately.

If the information they received previously is accurate/can be trusted.

If any of what they know is true/genuine.

If they are being mislead/lied to.

"I don't remember" by itself is a neutral statement, and many mental health diagnoses can impact a person's memory.

What Mikoto is doing here is not neutral, though. He is behaving in a purposely misleading way in the hopes of possibly benefitting from it. Through sewing doubt and confusion. This is gaslighting plain and simple.

And it worked too,

National Domestic Violence Hotline: What is Gaslighting?

"Generally, gaslighting happens very gradually in a relationship; in fact, the abusive partner’s actions may seem harmless at first. Over time, however, these abusive patterns continue, and as a result, a victim can become confused, anxious, isolated, and depressed. Altogether, they can lose all sense of what is actually happening. Then they start relying on the abusive partner more and more to define reality, which creates a very difficult situation to escape."

Also, just because someone has diagnoses that negatively impact their memory that doesn't mean those people cannot be held accountable for what they did that they don't remember or can dismiss discussions about what they did by simply going, "I don't remember."

It is so easy to just say, "I don't remember doing that, but I see that what I did impacted you greatly, and I'm sorry for how it's affected you." Especially when one has fully understood the hurt they've caused another regardless of if they understand how they did so or remember doing it.

No one should have to jump through hoops to convince someone their feelings and experiences matter or happened. Whether that person has a memory issue or not. For someone to just sweep those things to the side with an "I don't remember" is dismissive and unfair to the individuals hurt by their actions.

That is the entire point of what Jackalope is talking about. Just because someone doesn't remember hurting another person or understand how they may have done so does not mean they didn't.

He brought up the victims because no one else did.

Attention should have actually been placed on the victims from the beginning. Since those were the ones impacted by Mikoto's actions the most. The victims were discussed in some capacity with every other prisoner. But- like, I'm not in the tag because of a lot of things. So, it may not be my place to speak on this. There's a thousand reasons why I may not have seen this being discussed.

However, around Mikoto's trial, I don't remember seeing any discussion regarding the people or person he had admitted to killing and no one I know who was into Milgram brought up anything discussing that to me either. In fact at a point around that time I was blatantly told by someone that he killed no one.

Despite him- Yes, admitting to killing random strangers, he had no connection to. All because he was upset in his second voice drama,

Can I ask...why you killed them?

"They annoyed me."

Who did you kill?

"Just whoever was walking around nearby."

Even going as far to state that he himself doesn't remember how many people he killed. Never once saying he only killed one person.

... How many did you kill?

"Can't remember. I was just born back then, you know. It's kinda fuzzy."

So, I don't really know where the idea that he only murdered one guy even came from at this point.

Now, I can understand how someone could conclude he didn't kill anyone at all more because of the whole gaslighting thing but this...

He didn't even claim he only killed the one guy.

In all honesty, I don't think Jackalope is being dishonest here because he's been the only voice of reason when it comes to Mikoto's case.

He is actually being quite rational and considerate about the circumstances overall. Even outside of all the foreshadowing that supports Jackalope's statement. Just taking it from a characterization level it seems to me that Jackalope could not care less about Mikoto if someone paid him to.

There was no emotional investment positive or negative when it came to Mikoto.

To me, it seemed as though Jackalope was only invested in Es' (the guards) opinion on the matter. Because outside of him alluding to how many people Mikoto had killed, he gave us nothing else. Like literally nothing. Other than talking about Mikoto's actual impact.

How many bodies does it take to make a person irredeemable? What's the difference between one life or multiple?

At the end of the day Mikoto's still a murderer. Again not even touching on the foreshadowing of him killing multiple people before Jackalope just came out and said it.

But really, how many deaths can an individual find negligible?

One, two, three- Oh we won't count it as murder until it gets to the double digits, huh?

Jackalope's statement on Mikoto eloquently expands on what he pondered with Yuno.

What constitutes as a life? What constitutes as a crime? What constitutes as murder? Further expanding on the main question brought up with Amane at the very beginning of Milgram- At what age do we suddenly have enough free will where we can be held fully and earnestly accountable for the actions we commit to as individuals?

How many bodies make a murderer?

The answer should always be one. Anything after that is just clocking in overtime.

It doesn't become less negligible the lower the body count. Someone is dead regardless. So what about Mikoto as a character makes people so down horrendous that they need to find a negligible amount of killing?

What about him makes a person think,

"I can excuse one death that person probably wasn't living their life properly anyway."

What about any of the characters does that?

That's the question of Milgram isn't it?

It's to redefine sin to redefine murder. To test what every day people of this era are willing to let slide if pushed far enough. Through Mikoto's second trial Jackalope saw the answer was a lot.

He saw the answer and it was nothing to joke about. It was hard to keep the atmosphere light. It was heavy, it was rotten.

I personally don't believe the heavy atmosphere was because of any disdain Jackalope holds towards Mikoto. If anything Jackalope has always regarded Prisoner 009 Kayano, Mikoto with indifference.

All of the prisoners have been and will always be devices to pose a question for Jackalope. Yes he is biased and he's shown who he is biased too quite clearly. Yet, Mikoto has not been alluded to being one of the characters he feels strongly about.

He's usually been all business while discussing him and that's what he was during the second trial end report as well.

Jackalope's issue wasn't with Mikoto in my opinion but the audience's and Es' judgment.

The line that makes me believe this is,

"But even so, "Innocent"..... I see, I see. Hey, the judgment of the guard is absolute, of course!"

Did nobody catch this? Did it go over some heads? Did it really need highlighting? Jackalope disagrees with the verdict and he combats the decision pointing out the holes in it.

But he has no choice but to accept it because,

"The judgment of the guard is absolute."

He really did what he said he was doing when speaking about Mahiru,

"Sorry. I’m like the guy on the couch watching the sports highlights and complaining, don’t mind me."

Something that once again isn't surprising to me. Because from the beginning in the This is Milgram video Jackalope said,

"I mean, I personally would just say GUILTY to all of them to avoid all this hassle."

The end of the second trial report really was him going,

"Do you see this shit- You see what you've become?"

At the audience.

But- ya know, that's just my interpretation of the second trial end report.

Let's stick to the facts.

Like how Jackalope is only a dishonest narrator when he's saying something the audience doesn't want to hear. Like I said earlier in this post-

No one was talking any shit about what he said about Yuno.

Someone he clearly favors and has done nothing to hide the fact that he does,

"By the way, I love frosty girls like her."

When he cosigned that what Yuno told us was the truth. That wasn't because he has a thing for cold girls like her. Or has shown the female prisoners more favoritism.

No, there's no need to question the authenticity of that narration.

Why would Jackalope ever be someone's accomplice? He's only bias in one direction. That rabbit only has hate in his heart. He's just trash talking Mikoto because he isn't a girl- He's so biased.

He wasn't just sympathetic towards Mu's guilty verdict because from the beginning he said,

"Yep! Finally, a pretty little thing. On the other hand, I'd vote this one "innocent". Those beautiful genes have gotta be passed on!"

"I see, maybe you have the tendency to need to see the remorse, to give the “innocent” verdict. Was her crime really so infinitely worse than the other murders?"

No, he's only biased when it comes to things he says that I don't like. Things that don't confirm what I'm already feeling or want to believe. Jackalope isn't a character in his own right with patterns of behavior and easy to spot biases.

No he's a menace just here to sew chaos and confusion. Because the one thing he wants to do the most is ruin his own experiment.

His Milgram.

[matchadobo]

KÖNIG; someone to come home to

wc: 5859 summary: könig found your cat and bridged the budding relationship between the two of you. warning/s: afab reader, nsfw 🔞 (please read at your own discretion, scars, könig is very shy and has social anxiety, alcohol/liquor

"oh for the love of god why do you keep running away..!" you jogged around your neighborhood, eyes frantically scanning each bush and corner of the street just to find that spotted motherfucker with doe eyes and tiny paws that'd immediately make you forget all the rage you went through while finding her.

you love your cat, she's the light of your life, much more your child. but she has this habit of wandering off during autumn, playing with the fallen leaves in places that were surrounded by many trees. you've traversed the entire neighborhood and you were starting to panic when you couldn't find her. she usually comes back when the sun sets but it's almost past six and she's nowhere in sight.

until you heard a distant purr from that one park you haven't checked since it's mostly occupied by kids so it's unlikely. but you swiftly ran to the park, only to find your cat nestled in someone else's lap. a burly, towering man who cradled her very delicately. he brushed his scarred hands by the head and ears of your cat as she leaned further by his dainty pats.

he then noticed you right away, shot up from his seat like you scared him. you broke into a smile to ease the atmosphere, it kind of freaked you out that he noticed you even though you didn’t so much as make a movement or noise. the man had his face covered with a black cloth of some sort, the only visible features of his face were his vibrant, green eyes. he wore a black shirt that looked way too tight for a man his size, brown denim pants paired with black boots. he backed away slightly when you got closer.

"hey, uh, seems you caught her." your cat jumped off of the man's arms and ran to you, you bent down to catch her. "she's my cat."

the look of clarity was evident in him when he relaxed at your words. "thank god you caught her though, i thought i lost her for a moment." you laughed nervously, hugging your oblivious cat. "i'm name." you started, walking a little closer to him to reduce the tension.

you noticed how he kind of stiffened up but managed to return back your gesture. "k-könig." he responded, thick german accent coating his speech. "sorry for kinda taking your cat." he joked a little.

"oh, don't worry about it!" you laughed, "i think she felt safe with you. cats latch onto people that make them feel comfortable."

you heard a low laugh from beneath his mask, you gave him a look at his green eyes to try and recognize him. "are you...did you just move here?"

"not really, but i'm staying for a bit here. my house is just a block away from this park."

unbeknownst to you, it was taking könig everything to not fold right now. aside from being an extremely socially anxious person, he finds you so incredibly pretty. your demeanor, how you carry yourself towards him, how you smile at him, and most of all how you somehow put him at ease; it's as if it's the first time he really wanted to get to know someone and spend more time with someone even if you two just met. he rarely stays in his house here in austria so he never really knew anyone here, nor was he aware that someone like you lives around here. if he did, he'd actually make an effort to go out regularly.

"staying a bit in here? you travel a lot?" you raised a brow, simultaneously patting your cat's head.

"o-oh yeah, i don't stay in my place much." he laughed nervously, his body language changing. könig doesn't really want to tell anyone about his line of work, much less a woman he's interested in. it's surprising enough that you didn't get scared away by his mask, and most of all how he took your cat. he's afraid he might scare you off and immediately lose you. right off the bat, he wants to take you out for drinks; but his confidence is too low because he thinks  that it wouldn’t go further than that.

but nonetheless! it's been a long time since he felt this kind of rush. musing at you and smiling beneath his mask, his heart ran wild on his chest. your cat was one thing that drew him to you, but your smile and with how your beauty shone with the golden glint of the sky. he somehow managed to hold a conversation with you whilst observing how the colors in your eyes glistened in the sunset and how your hair danced with the breeze and kept it away from your face to give him a better look.

"hey, uh." he garnered all the sprouting confidence you gave him from laughing alongside him with dry jokes and boring stories. you pressed your lips together, muttering a "hm?" as your attention was fully directed at him. he sweated a little before saying, "do you maybe wanna... grab drinks or something? you can bring her if you want." he lightheartedly invited you, laughing a little at that last bit.

your heart thumped in your chest a little too fast; finding this man so cute despite the strange cloth that prevented you from knowing the face behind it and his overwhelmingly huge size. "i think i'm supposed to say that last bit, yeah? i'll bring her if YOU want, könig." you broke into a laugh, hearing his laughter too. "but, of course. i'd be happy to."

you see him perk up a little at your reply. behind that mask, you know that he's smiling from the curve of his eyes.

reaching the nearby pub, a dimly lit place that reeked of liquor and cigarettes. the place was decorated with vintage records, paintings, and trinkets. regulars were playing pool, teenagers were in the far back shoving their tongues down each others' throats, and the old, tired bartender wiping off some cups and bottles. you two sat by the high chairs, secluded in some corner not too far from the bartender.

he ordered a whiskey while you settled for a classic scotch. not too long, you two somehow hit it off for hours: playing with the cat, playing with pool and trash-talking some regulars, getting tipsy and touching each other quite more, playing some old arcade games and destroying each other, and saying things that you two might forget in the morning.

"i'm better at pool than you." he blurted out. "your aim is just hilariously cute." he walked behind you, keenly watching if you'll trip and fall from how you stumble while walking.

"it's the liquor, i'll crush you sober!" you tried talking with no slurring, but miserably failed and evoked a snort from him. he held his alcohol pretty decently, he moved quite wonkily but still managed to walk properly. you however, had too much to drink. what could you say? you could drink a little too much when you're with someone you enjoy!

"right, how do you plan on doing that?" he caught you when you almost tried reaching for your imaginary chair that looked way too vivid in your vision, he had a firm hand on your arm as you sat back down in your previous spot. "can you even get home at this rate?"

"shut up, you're so cocky for someone who won because you're bigger." you mumbled, laying your head down on the table.

"that doesn't make sense, name. accept defeat, yeah?" you grumbled as a response, hearing a chuckle from him.

his phone rang suddenly. könig stood behind you, an arm beside your frame as it rested on the high table before taking his eyes off you and answering his phone. "we've got a mission for you, könig. kortac will be deployed in a week from now, the details will be discussed in hq at the same time. copy?"

"roger."

his heart somewhat sank at the announcement. never had he felt hesitant nor felt his heart waver at an issuing of deployment. he always completed missions one after the other passively. he didn't have anything to miss or look forward to. but when he looked at you, wasted as you almost fell off your seat if it weren't for his arm supporting you from the side, he just felt like he couldn't leave you alone now... or maybe ever?

he gestured for the bartender to bring a pitcher of water. "alright, listen to me. you're gonna drink that until you can walk and think straight, got it?" he tapped at your back placing a glass of water in front of you. you whined, taking the glass from him begrudgingly. "you have a lot of trust for someone you just met, huh."

"why, soldier? gonna do somethin' bad to the citizen you serve for?" you blurted out, chugging the entire glass of water and burping afterward. you saw how his eyes widened and how his shoulders perked up a bit from shock. "yeah, that call earlier proved my suspicions."

"aren't you blacked out drunk?" he looked away, trying to avoid the topic.

"oh please, my head's heavy and i feel like shit. doesn't mean i'm deaf and dumb, big guy." you nudged his shoulder a little. "saw the tag shining when you bent down during pool, lotsa scars for someone ordinary, you rarely live at your house means you get deployed a lot, that sorry excuse for a subtle knife pouch in your pants, and that call earlier." you listed out taking another chug of an entire glass.

"nice catch, know a soldier?" he relaxed a little, watching how you skillfully stuffed all that water down the drain you call your body.

"dated one." you responded, eyeing him whilst drinking.

"so you have a type?" he sounded cheeky, sounding like his face was smugly staring at you. "that why you're all smiley ever since we met, huh?"

you broke into laughter, fanning yourself. thanking god that you can excuse your blushing from the inebriation. "you are acting smitten, soldier. maybe you have it the other way around? no fair your face is hidden though, couldn't see if i got you smiling or something."

"what do you think then, frau?" he leaned fairly close, your knees touching as his gaze traversed your entire face.

"i think my bladder's going to explode, i'll deal with your flirting later." you winked, walking past him to the bathroom. little did you know, you left the big guy giggling stupidly to himself.

you came back and he was patiently waiting for you. "i can walk properly now."

"right, i didn't want to get home all alone when you're all wasted." he stood up too, massively towering over you.

"tch, you're saying too much for a man with a mask." you snubbed, playfully stomping out of the pub.

you two walked home, still talking about useless things and other stories and passing jokes. he held your cat close to his chest while walking, the cat falling asleep in his big grasp. "where's your house again?"

"i can walk there fine, könig. it's okay. you must be tired too, mine’s just a few houses away." you dismissed, a tired smile on your lips.

"ah-ah, i insist. it'd be improper to leave a frau like you walking alone at midnight." he strolled beside you.

"but you're pretty far from here, right?" you looked up at him.

"doesn't matter, it's not far for me." he replied. "getting worried?"

"pft, no." you brushed off, despite the smile on your face. "just don't wanna be a suspect if you were gonna be found dead tomorrow."

after a short exchange of laughter, you reached your house. "well, this is it." you concluded. "i'll be taking MY cat back."

he laughed a little before handing the sleeping feline to you. "i had a really good time, könig. good night." you smiled, musing at the vibrance of his green eyes.

"me too," he waved farewell. "good night." he backed away before finally walking away to where his house was. walking home with a smile on his face, the subtle scent of your perfume on his shirt that was decorated generously with cat fur, and a viciously, fast beating heart. he hadn't felt this kind of high from someone.

the fact that you two may or may not see each other again stayed at the back of your minds. but you two slept it off with a smile, hoping this wasn't the end of it.

that's what you thought, but you hadn't seen him in days. you forgot to get his number and what's worse is you don't know where he lives! there's no way of reaching him now.

you figured that he maybe got deployed or something, maybe that phone call from the night you two were together was it. you sighed in your realization, plopping onto your bed in despair as you reminisce about your fun, little date. slowly accepting that you wouldn't see him again. that he is just another fling or another incident to make you happy temporarily and remind you why you can't settle down with anyone.

that is until your door almost broke down from the force of the knocking down the hall. you opened the door, only to find könig drenched in the rain.

"w-what the fuck?! don't you have an umbrella?! come inside, you idiot!" you panicked, moving over to let him in. the bastard was shivering in the cold so you fetched him a towel before letting him sit on your couch. your cat immediately settled on his lap.

"start talking, könig." you sighed, sitting on the coffee table before him.

suddenly, he pulled the shirt off his head to finally reveal his once covered face. you were about to hand him a glass of water only to accidentally drop it from his gesture. he caught it though, military reflexes.

"thoughts?" he broke into an awkward smile, drinking from the water he caught. he chuckled at the priceless reaction you have. "say something, frau. it's starting to get weird here."

his auburn curls were damp and sat atop his head in a disheveled manner, some of his curls framed the sides of his face down to his jaw. his pale complexion had faint freckles and  prominent scars all over his chiseled face and body where you could see his skin. he had relaxed eyebrows and somewhat sunken eyes, though his bright, green eyes made up for it. his lips were chapped and fairly pink as the natural tint in his cheeks. but what sets his entire face off from the ordinary was the big scar that went from his right temple down to his left jaw that went across his eyebrow, nose, and lips.

"i-if it's scaring you, i c-can cover it-"

"no..!" you impulsively hugged him by his neck, both of you surprised at your actions. "i-it's brave, thank you, könig. that must've taken a lot in you to do."

"just five days of tossing and turning and regretting that i didn't gave you my number." he sarcastically remarked, returning your hug by settling both of his hands across your back.

you laughed a little before pulling away. you then took off your shirt, only in your bra now. you see him pull away immediately, beet red on the face as he averted his gaze from your body. "what the hell are you doing, you idiot! i have something to show you too."

an embarrassed "oh" escaped his lips. he tried to compartmentalize those thoughts and focused on what you were going to say. that's when he noticed the huge scar spanning from your chest down to your abdomen. "it's also my biggest scar from being in the service, i was discharged after i got it."

his eyes widened, "y-you were in the service too?!"

"yeah, that's how i met the one i dated. and how i lost him too." you tried composing yourself and swallowed hardly. "all i'm saying is, we both have these. so... none of that, none of you, is scaring me, könig." you smiled softly, brushing your fingers by his arms that were also rich in scars.

"look i, uh, will be deployed in two days." he broke out, his deep green eyes frantically mirroring his overwhelming feelings. "i was thinking if we could, you know, if you'd want to go somewhere with me to make the most of my leave?"

you teared up from laughing, either from joy or endearment. "you didn't have to be so dramatic and run in the rain about it, though. but yes, let's do that."

a wide smile made its way to his face, the vast amount of scars contrasted the joy he had in his eyes and lips. a putty feeling made his chest tight as he sat face to face with you, your scars and his visible to each other. it's the first time he ever shared something like this with someone. once strangers a few days ago turned into something more because he decided to drag his ass to you and not let his thoughts get the best of him, and he was proud of himself because of that.

you lent him an umbrella and told him to meet up at the airport after packing his stuff. and you carried on with yours too, a sudden trip with him would be a rush you'd never thought you'd experience. you've thrown in some outfits, body essentials, undergarments, and the like to try and take your mind off of him and wipe that lovesick smile on your face. but failed of course.

soon after, you two met at the airport with your suitcases. you waved at him cheerfully, smiling as he got closer. "thought you were gonna stood me up." you joked, nudging him a little. "soldiers are always on time, right? what happened to you?"

"i got lost?"

"save it, let's get our tickets now." he took your suitcases as you made your way to the ticket counter for both of your tickets.you already booked tickets before you packed hours ago so it all went smoothly, soon enough you two made it to paris.

you two had spent an afternoon eating at artisan food markets for lunch, shopping at boutiques (mostly you), taking pictures in museums, and ending the day biking to your hotel. the day was cut short since you two arrived at lunchtime, but you two had planned a lot for the next day.

you two had a problem with the hotel though, "well, we booked a hotel on the same day so... we can't really complain about having only one bed."

"...i'd just sleep on the couch or something. whatever you're comfortable with." he insisted on the elevator, kind eyes looking at you beneath the mask.

"i had fun today, könig." you blurt out, not even thinking you did. your eyes were tired from the nonstop journey from flying to roaming about the lively streets of paris but it all reflected your words.

he stared at you for a while, a smile beneath his mask. he was about to say something when the elevator ding interrupted his thoughts that were already clouded with you.

you insisted on taking a shower first because, god, you felt disgusting and embarrassed sitting next to him while you were this smelly. once you got out, you notice how he doesn't wear the cloth on his head anymore as he waited for you and shimmied through the channels in a language he doesn't understand. he shortly followed after taking a bath, bumping his head by the shower multiple times; you giggled at the sound of his curses and the thumps he made.

the bed was king-sized, so it fits the two of you with enough room for personal space. it wouldn't bother you to sleep with him though as  you feel comfortable with him, knowing that you spent the entire day with him. him taking off the mask when it's only the two of you proved enough for him to trust you, so you could do the same.

könig on the other hand though, was a mess talking about it though. "a-are you sure?"

"100%, it's big enough for the two of us don't you think?" you plopped yourself down the bed, sinking in the sheets. "plus, you're not gonna fit that couch."

he complied awkwardly, not knowing how to position himself nor if he should touch you as he settled on that one spot on his side of the bed. you couldn't sleep while he was being uncomfortable so you sat up and tapped on his shoulder.

"is sleeping with me bothering you?"

he looked over his shoulder, a worried look on his face. "i might crush you or something, or i might touch you inappropriately, or i might-"

"hey." you placed a hand on his arm. "i already told you, könig. i agreed to this. i trust you, okay? you'll be fine." you gave him an assuring smile before telling him good night. you two slept soundly that night, tangled in each other's arms.

the next day, you two went to disneyland and spent the entire day there. going ride to ride, stuffing yourselves with character-themed foods, you and him competing in those booths that have prizes, betting on who will scream first during horror attractions, getting some souvenirs by the shops, and tiring yourselves out from the number of rides in this park. laughing alongside him while enjoying the fun of paris has brought you nothing but that fluttery feeling under your skin and that uncontrollable beat of your heart.

once sunset came, you two ended the day with a boat on one of the canals. an intimate ride where you two didn't notice your intertwined fingers. after buying some bottles of scotch and whiskey, you two made it back to the hotel for the night. he popped the bottles open, drinking from the bottle and sharing it with you.

"so, last day, huh?" you started, downing a sip. the tv in the background faintly dulling the silence.

"you gonna miss me?" he replied with a smile on his face as he winked at you, chewing on some chips you bought.

"hmm, maybe." you shrugged, reaching over for the chips. "it'd suck if we just left it here, though."

"left what here?" he raised a brow. "the mess?" he gestured at the untidy sight of your room.

"are you that dense, könig?" you huffed a frustrated sigh. the puzzled look on his face not faltering, still waiting for clarity from you. "jesus christ, men really are that fucking dumb, huh."

you placed the bottle down, leaned over to him and sat on his lap, placed a hand on his cheek while the other was at the back of his head, and collided lips with him. it went on for a while, you feel him suck in a breath from your actions, making you smile through it.

the kiss got deeper and you wrapped your arms around his neck, his massive hands settled on your waist to hold you as he returned your kiss. the taste of alcohol lulling you closer to him and drunkening the both of you even more.

you pulled away and touched foreheads with him. "so that's what you want, spatzi?" könig remarked, giving the corner of your lips a peck.

"how did that feel?"

"liberating." he replied, "do you maybe wanna..."

"go all the way?" you finished, "thought you'd never ask."

he chuckled before kissing you again, licking your lips, and exploring your mouth. he carried you effortlessly by your bum as he sat by the edge of the bed. only to be pushed down by you as he lied flat and watched you take your clothes off.

you rubbed your core on his clothed crotch, he sucked in a deep breath from the sensation whilst he returned  your kisses. not long after, he was in his boxers and you were only in your bra and underwear. after he discarded the last article of clothing on you and him, he roamed his hands across your body, especially the scar you showed him yesterday. he easily flipped you around and now, he was on top of you.

he leaned down and placed kisses on your chest where the scar began, the middle of your mounds, and down to your stomach where the scar ended. he went back to your face and placed kisses on your cheek then back on your lips, "you sure about this?"

you nodded as his final green light before he dipped down to your sopping crevice. he knelt down on the floor and pulled you closer to the edge of the bed by your thighs before he licked a long trail on your core. you hitched a breath, fisting the sheets as your legs trembled in his grasp. he had a fixed eye on you as he devoured your soaked core, he nibbled on your clit and sucked soundly on your folds while he played with the bundle of nerves on your mounds with his fingers. he took his time with you, he didn’t stop until your legs shook and stuttered as you reach your climax.

he soon came back to you, kissing you once more. your hand trailed down his toned torso, down to his firm length; you felt him shiver a bit at your touch as his lips stuttered on you. you smiled through the kiss and maneuvered him despite his size as you got on top of him. 

you soon admired the beauty of this man, as he lay bare before you. you notice him becoming self-conscious  as you stared at him for a long time that you hadn't realized that you were doing it for too long. "hey, don't get shy with me now. you know why i like staring at you so much?"

"why?" he shyly answered, hands awkwardly placed on your hips.

"because i like you, i like looking at you. i'm savoring the fact that your mask is off, that you're able to trust me with this. it must've been hard for you but you still agreed with me, right?" you said with a smile, a hand on his cheek as he leaned on your touch. 

you began peppering hickeys on his neck, across his chest and abdomen. kissing all of his scars across his chiseled body. until you reach his prodigious length, he grew shy as you wrapped your hands around it. you licked the tip, circling your tongue around it to get him going. until you gobbled him whole, a guttural moan escaping his lips as he threw his head back at the warmth of your mouth. simultaneously pumping his length whilst bobbing your head gave him the pleasure that penetrated every muscle in his body. beneath his abdomen, a ticklish feeling bubbling up that left his member twitching  in your throat. not long after, his sweet release shot ropes down your throat. 

as he unsurely positioned himself on you, he took a while to gaze at you and the comparable size of his length. he placed both of his arms to support his weight by your sides, lowering himself down to give you a peck on the cheek. “tell me if it hurts.” he assured with a smile before wedging his thick length down you. 

he pressed his forehead to yours as he slid in slowly, both of you hitching a breath at the first stretch of your tight cunt. the warm and teeming feel of how your walls tightly enveloped him as he slid further until the head of his length reached your cervix; you squealed at the sensation, he chuckled while tucking a hair in your ear. as he tried and started moving, trying to detect if he’s hurting you in any way while he’s balls deep in you. but the only thing he saw was how you shut your eyes tight and how carnal, melodious moans left your agape mouth. he took it as an opportunity to buck his hips back and forth, sliding his length to your entrance back to the end of where he first settled, his dog tag clinking by its chains in chorus with his filthy movements. 

it was pure fucking bliss to you, it’s like you’re high on some sort of drug. the overwhelming length of him and how he was panting just as heavy as you are from the unparalleled sensation you two are in right now. you pulled him by his dog tag and he met your lips, swallowing all your moans as hips simultaneously tried finding the rhythm you two are comfortable in. 

once you two pulled away, he gazed at how his length disappeared from your crevice from time to time then back at your face which was flushed red. he planted hickeys on your shoulder, playing with your mounds with his tongue, and left handprints on your rear. 

lost in the same ecstasy; you kept grazing your nails across his back with each sinful thrust, biting on his neck with each moan of your name that left his mouth, and clawing at his chest with how good he fills you up. it almost felt like time wasn’t running and you two didn’t care how loud you two are nor how feral the creaking of the bed sounded. 

soon after, you were now on top of him. you bounced on his lap slowly, it’s a rhythm you two got used to. his hands were settled on your waist while the other was on your rear, helping you keep up the motion. your hands were caressing one side of his cheek while the other rested on his chest to support yourself. you bent down where you can press foreheads with him once more as your hips moved up and down, gradually sliding up and down on his length in a manner that drove both of you crazy. you two exchanged breaths and moans at the turmoil of pleasure that lulled both of you to a drunken state of each other, no talking was needed as you both looked deeply into each other’s eyes with much fervor. beads of sweat started budding on the surface of your skin at your nonstop intercourse. 

“you’re sweating, schatz.” he whispered, grinning afterward when he wiped the beads of sweat on your forehead with the back of his hand.

“you’re one to talk, you’re panting like an animal in heat.” you returned, hoisting yourself up as you steadily sat on his length. “want to take a break, colonel?” you cockily raised a brow, hands roaming on the span of his chest.

“you’re just pushing it now, huh.” he sat up too, getting a firm hold of your waist. “that’s lieutenant colonel to you, major.” 

his swift moments almost made you stumble and fall if it weren’t for the large hands that supported you. “ready?” he whispered in your ear and before you could answer, he rammed into you so fast you couldn’t even so much as choke a word. your chest is on the verge of exploding from the unruly pace of his hips as he drilled deep in you. it went on for a while, crude moans that got your neighbors turning their heads and almost disturbing the both of you; it’s not like you’d stop for them though. you later ran out of breath and your body got limp from the overstimulation of his length.

you two just lay in the bed afterward. you were between his legs and he was behind you, rubbing your stomach gently while placing kisses on your neck. “didn’t know you were gonna give up that fast, name.”

you elbowed him as a response, “alright, i know i got too excited. not my fault you got too sexy. i had to do something, liebling.”

there was silence after a little laughter from the both of you, it then occurred to you his inevitable departure would not be too long from now. “hey, what time are you leaving?”

“they’d need me before the day ends.” he cleared his throat, a weighing feeling went back on his chest. “this is the first time i felt like i’d wanna bail on a mission.” he chuckled dryly, gazing at the peeking sun of dawn by the large windows of your hotel.

“we should probably get going now, don’t wanna miss our flight-” you planned on leaving his grasp to stand up and get ready, only to get pulled closer. 

“we can stay for a little more.” he mumbled. “please, mein liebe.” he buried his face deeper at the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent more until he grew tired of it. 

you smiled, complying with his request and staying like that for over half an hour. eventually, you two had to fly back to austria and make it to his headquarters there. it was an inevitable parting between the two of you. it’s not like this feeling is new to you, you knew very well what happens when dating a soldier. you became one and dated one. but this one was extra fucking sadder, you don’t know why but now that you saw what’s beneath that mask and mountain of clothes—you’d never want to let him go, you just had to protect him and give him all the love he deserves. 

you two now parked before the building of his headquarters. after saying bye to your cat, he finally dreaded saying goodbye to you. “come on, könig. it’s not like we’ll never see each other again. you’re not about to let yourself get killed, hm?” you lightheartedly tried calming him down. 

he didn’t say anything and hugged you, pulling you by your neck with one arm while the other held you close by the small of your waist. “i promise to come back, vögelchen. you keep yourself safe here, you got it?” he pulled away, a gentle hand on your cheek. 

“you’ve got some nerve ordering someone who ranked higher than you.” you hit him on the chest playfully. “i’ll keep my promise if you keep yours.” you fished out something in your pocket, it was your old dog tag and handed it to him. “okay?” you searched for any affirmations in his green eyes.

he plucked out his own dog tag from his neck and gave it to you instead, he wore what you gave him. “copy.” amidst the cloth, you can see the tears in his eyes form and cascade down his face. you gave him one last tight hug, got under his mask, and gave him a long, deep kiss before sending him off. he waved goodbye one last time before disappearing into the building. 

“so you found someone, huh?” horangi greeted him by the entrance. 

“quit the snooping and let’s get to the conference room, i’d like to make this shit quick.”

this is my first time writing for könig and cod, forgive my sins my senpais 😭🌷

[lemongrablothbrok]

Led Zeppelin - Whole Lotta Love - Earl's Court 05-24-1975 Part 17

Okay, listen up people, Zep-heads, Jimbert shippers especially, because this video is un-fucking-believable in so many ways, and all of them good ways and I have a lot to say about it, mmkay? To start out, we have the boys coming out to do an encore, and Robert just...reclines on the platform thingy like the decadent demigod he is and eats whatever he's eating while Bonzo, the most laddish member of the group, in a fluffy robe, no less, declares that he finds football to be "a load of bollocks". Robert, almost certainly the most effeminate member of the group (I guess one might be able to argue that Jimmy - with his delicate features and willowy physique and soft speaking voice - might be a little more effeminate, but that's neither here nor there, the point still stands, and that point is that Robert is a pretty pretty princess), stands right up to defend the sport that he's so passionate about (side note: anyone know why he says "soccer" and not "football"? Because I can't think of another British person who calls it that. The first few times I heard him use it, it was during interviews with American interviewers and/or for American TV shows or publications, so I thought it was just for clarity so they know he's not talking about American football, but this is a concert in Britain with, I'm assuming, a mostly British audience. Anyone know why he calls it that?).

The song kicks off with Robert and Jimmy doing, as I referred to a few days ago on a post featuring a gif from this performance, "backwards humping", or, "the bisexual secret handshake". They are so shameless in their weird ass public courtship display that you might just miss seeing Jonesy's beautiful smile in the background (and if you do, take that video back a few seconds and freaking look at that gorgeous smile. You'll thank me later).

When we get to the first chorus, Robert freaking throws one arm around Jimmy's shoulder, pulling him close to share the microphone, and I shit you not, Jimmy's foot pops. And if that weren't enough, Robert pulls away for a second just to look at Jimmy's face and smile, only to pull him in closer again. Get a room, you dorks. Then when the second chorus comes around, they have the stupidest lovesick smiles on their faces, which are so close together they can probably taste each other's breath. Then Jimmy sort of pushes off with this shoulder nudge and one of them (Jimmy, I think? I sounds like Robert, but Robert's already in the middle of a drawn out vocal, so I think it's Jimmy) gives this soft little grunt/sigh/suspiciously sexual sounding noise. They spend a moment doing a short rendition of (I think?) James Brown's "sex machine" (worth noting/remembering here that Led Zeppelin have their own tribute to James Brown in "The Crunge", a song that gives off all the bisexual energy that's considered safe for human consumption), and then...then...

...we get to the theremin segment. The motherfucking theremin segment. The climax, if you will, of this entire performance. The part where Jimmy and Robert have hardcore sex right there on stage, right there in front of their audience, at least half of whom is probably male, and the vast majority of whom at least claim to be heterosexual, since this is the 1970s and there's very real consequences in store if you're a dude who goes around telling people out loud that one of the main reasons you go to Led Zeppelin concerts is to see and hear obscenely beautiful men fuck each other's brains out. Or even admit that you're aware that's just what's going on on that stage. Yes, this is the part where Jimmy does incredible things with his hands and long slender little fingers that make Robert moan and scream like a particularly horny banshee. Look, there's no getting around it. Even before I shipped it, I had to acknowledge (if in kind of a jokey-jokey way) that, wow, Jimmy is really dedicated to seeing how much and how hard he can make Robert cum. And Robert, in turn, is doing everything he can to let Jimmy know just how much and how hard he's cumming. Which is very much, and very hard. Some things to note are the way Robert not only mimics the sounds that the theremin is making, but also some of Jimmy's gestures, like when Jimmy puts both hands up in the air and then we see Robert doing the same. Meanwhile, the rhythm section are doing their thing, John Paul Jones' bassline providing the sort of bow-chicka-wow-wow type soundtrack to this auditory gay porn. Also, around 5:45, you can hear the bass do something that sounds an awful lot like "Achilles' Last Stand", which at this point hasn't been written yet, but that particular riff has been and will be used in concerts for quite a while before ending up in said homoerotic epic.

What really, really gets me about this performance, though, is what happens at around the six minute point, when Jimmy goes to grab his guitar back from offstage and Robert just has this look on his face. He's saying "ooh, ooh," slowly sauntering in Jimmy's direction, looking straight at him, his eyes filled with what can only be described as pure lust. This part isn't for the audience. Most of the audience can't see Robert's face with the direction he's facing, and those that can are too far away to be able to see it. He's not faking this. He's not pretending to be horny or desperate to be provocative, not in the look he's giving Jimmy, anyway. I'm not sure if the look in his eyes here is one that can be faked. Oh no. He feels it.

And then Robert gets back to singing, "Feel a little lonely, in the middle of the night. I need you darlin', to make things alright." And who is he looking directly at as he sings this? Just take a wild guess.

tl;dr: Robert and Jimmy are about as subtle as a rainbow fireworks display spelling out "WE'RE BISEXUAL DISASTERS IN LOVE"

[isa-ghost]

Phil and bagi hcs?

YOU HAVE JUST ENABLED A MONSTER.

I AM SO ABNORMAL ABOUT THESE TWO.

Also these will apply to AMFMN!! Because SURPRISE, if no one has checked the fic tags, her name is listed as a main character. ;) She'll be arriving in Chapter 6!! :D

I cannot fucking WAIT to expand upon their dynamic, which is funny because by the time Bagi shows up, Phil is possessed so it won't be exploration through direct interactions until the recovery period waaay later in the fic. Nonetheless it'll be hype! :D

qPhil headcanons masterlist

Phil is a member of the "Bagi can do whatever she wants forever" club. He supports her rights and wrongs and fully believes she could kick his ass no matter how unbalanced of a fight it'd be in his favor (disclaimer I don't actually know Bagi's exact pvp skill level 🤔)

Bagi is a member of the "God I want Phil to take me on a flight some day, I am so sad his wings are fucked up" club. (She would probably be terrified /pos)

I don't know what it is about their friendship but I feel like Bagi is so much more attuned to the way Phil thinks than the average islander. I guess I'd say it's because of how perceptive she is in general, especially with how she's a detective? Whatever it is, Bagi just has this talent for reading Phil like a damn book. And she won't hesitate to call him on his bullshit either. She's much like Fit in that regard. Crow man can't hide SHIT

Like fr if Phil ever gave Bagi reason to be concerned the first thing she'd do is start cornering those closest to him and either ask what's up or be like "hey Phil's on some shit rn, we gotta go force him to confess whatever stupid shit he's shouldering on his own and bottling up"

Phil has definitely been whacked with the frying pan for not venting and acting like he has to brave the horrors alone btw. Bagi's the type of friend that'll kick your fucking ass if you're not self-caring or being mean to yourself. (I am projecting LMAO)

Bagi isn't as Holy Shit We Could Die Any Second about things as Phil, but they're both very protective people, which can manifest in very volatile ways when they're hurt or angered by something (ie: Feds). I would not want to experience their individual wraths simultaneously.

Bagi is one of the top people Phil shows his gift giving love language to. Be it resources she needs, pictures he's taken of her/Em/Tina or of weird island shit, the means to complete cookie tasks, etc. She's one of the first in mind.

GOD Phil wants her to teach him how to wield a frying pan so badly. He's an excellent swordsman and bowman, but PAN?? The enjoyment he'd get out of it would be infinite, he'd love to be kicking ass while getting a laugh out of it bc pan go BONG when it hits a motherfucker.

If one needs something the other says yes no hesitation. They might ask each other a couple questions, but as soon as they have 100% clarity, they trust each other with the rest and know that if something goes wrong, whoever is present at the time will unleash hell on the person or monster that caused it.

I've somewhat already hinted at it but GOD the mutual admiration they have for each other!! Their wits and way with words, their natural sense of leadership, their determination to defend what they believe in, what they think is right, and the people they love, their specific expertise, the list goes on. They just think the other is so fucking cool and brilliant.

Tbh I think in the right circumstances they'd teach each other some lowkey fucked up tricks they have up their sleeves. Like Bagi giving Phil insight on manipulating people into giving the answers you're looking for by asking the right carefully worded questions, or Phil teaching Bagi the best spots to hit/hurt a person/mob to really do some damage just purely as a "hey if you ever find yourself in a Situation, here's a tip" thing

I don't know how better to show this without explicitly saying it: These two are not the other's fucking caretaker. Phil is not Bagi's father figure and Bagi is not Phil's mother figure. Yes, they can scold each other when the other is doing something dumb (cough, 7 hcs ago, cough). Friends do that. They support each other and call each other on their bs. That is not parenting, that's being a good friend. And they are to each other.

On that note, it hasn't come up too much yet but when shit sucks (like when the eggs were lost or lost lives), they're good at distracting each other. But like without halting the process of dealing with their emotions. If they're sad, they'll be sad together, but they're good at picking the right conversation topics to lighten the mood. If they're mad, they'll be mad together, and they'll plan what to do about it with each other.

I think I've sorta demonstrated it well enough in a couple of these hcs already but AUGH, they're just. So on the same page with each other almost all the time. And when they aren't, they're so good at giving each other perspectives they didn't think of before. Which, I don't mean to compare Bagi to her brother here, but is also how Phil and Cellbit can be with each other too; though they've somewhat fallen out of that sync post-Purgatory. The way the Mystery Siblings are so on the same wavelength as Phil makes me so *slams fist on desk*

Phil is normally a very Just Vibin' kinda guy but Bagi can get him into some really deep intellectual conversations sometimes and it's so 🍿🍿🍿 to watch

[gunbun]

10 Reasons The Great Turali Retcon Is The Best Idea I've Had In Ages:

Tiona as a first name doesn't quite fit the naming schemes of Eorzean/Eastern Viera

Blue Anime Hair (or Pink, or Green) seems to be a very common characteristic amongst Turali people with hair, and even boonewa mamool jas have plenty of persons with technicolour eye scales. It's much more of a rare thing or Important NPC Characteristic in Eorzea/Garlemald/Far East

In my fanfic I've never really leaned into using setting-appropriate swears, mostly because I think "swive" is stupid, so I just defaulted to giving Tiona the seven words you can't say on television (shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits) and passed it off as foreign, even if it ALSO didn't quite jive with the representations of Dalmasca we got later, and whaddya know, it matches the way Turali speak

Her "voice". She's always spoken a little more casually than the rest of the game in my fic, or at least that's my intention here, and it sticks out like a sore thumb in Eorzea/Garlemald/Far East but the second she arrived in Shaaloani she fit right in

She's brown. And Tural is browner than Eorzea/Garlemald/Far East, period

Hydaelyn did bequeath clarity to Tiona before dying. Knowing where she ACTUALLY came from and having it be in a place where the game is sending us will provide just that

This also allows me to use the broken backstory up until this point to figure out exactly what happened to Tiona, and maybe come up with a reason why the broken backstory exists (the Echo, maybe? Heroes come from anywhere)

What we learn about Shetona ended up matching the stuff I invented about Tiona's viera village. I just moved its location. So despite me calling this a retcon it's not in the most technical sense a retcon, just a rework

I always envisioned Tiona as indigenous to wherever she came from and godDAMN is Dawntrail fucking hitting on those experiences in the best way.

She's going to find out because someone calls her by name. Because Tiona Eryut is her name.

[peachjagiya]

Did Tae and Wooga really leave Jk in the ski resort? And JK was left to learn how to snowboard in 3 days?

No.

The spotify subs were simplified but youtube captions transcript feature clarifies what happened a little.

Obviously context important and we shouldn't be so Western as to think digital translators know this better than actual Korean speakers.

So for clarity, this is according to DeepL then cross checked with Papago and Google Translate.

Here's the transcript if you want to do your own clicking:

보드를 타러 갔는데 저는 이제 너무 재밌어 가지고 하룻밤 자고 내일아침까지 타고 가야 되겠다 막이 생각을 하고 있었어요 그 다 같이 그럴 줄 알고 있었고 근데 이제 전부 다 타고 들어오더니 다 막 아파 가지고 삭신이 있으시다고 해가지고 숙소에 퍼질러 있는 상태 그때 딱 디토가 나왔더라고요 그래서 딱 디토를 듣는데 이게 너무 좋은 거예요 그그스키장이 약간 막 가슴이 먹먹해지고근데 그 상황에서 갑자기 이셋이 간데셋은 가고 저는 이제 혼자 남아가지고이 노래만 진짜 한 30번 들었을 거예요 밖에 보면 새게 그 약간 그런 추억이 있어 갖고 되게좋아하는

DeepL translates it as:

I went to ride my board and I was just thinking, I'm having so much fun I'm going to take it with me and stay the night and ride it till tomorrow morning and I thought they were all going to do it together Then they're all coming in and they're all sick (also suggests sore as a translation) and they're all spread out all over the place and the sun's going down and they're all in the lodge and that's when Ditto came on. Ditto came on, so I was just listening to Ditto and it's so good, and the ski resort was getting a little bit heartbreaking, and then all of a sudden they go and I'm left alone, and I must have listened to this song like 30 times, and when I look out there, it's like, ‘Oh, my God." I have a little bit of that memory and it's a favourite

Ok. So bearing in mind this is a favourite memory and JK recounts it with a laugh, here's what I'm taking from it:

❄ They're all at the lodge - JK says this. Sidenote: Seojoon posted photos in another country at this point so I think it might have been just Hyungsik and possibly Wooshik as he posted a snowy lodgy looking picture at the end of December.

❄ They have accommodation away from the lodge as Jimin and JK did - JK specifies he wants to stay overnight to snowboard early in the morning but after three days, surely they've already been staying overnight. This sounds like a new plan to stay closer to the slopes.

❄ They're all getting tired/sore/sick and are sprawled around the lodge. - JK says that.

❄ Ditto came on so this was after it's release on the 19th, placing it three days after the shoe picture that appeared online. That's the three days. - JK's words, Ditto release date.

❄ The mood was getting melancholy and JK is playing the song on repeat - JK's words.

❄ Tae and friends go while JK is listening to the song, JK confirms.

❄ My conjecture, supposition, speculation: The more I think about him laughing that he listened to it so many times, the more I wonder if they just went to go sit in the car like a prank? I can very genuinely imagine Tae doing that. Obviously I don't know him but it doesn't seem out of character to be like "Come on, lets see how long it takes him to notice."

❄ JK notices they've gone (in Spotify subs, it says they've gone home but I think this is hyperbole) and is like "oh my god", he says. I'm speculating he just catches up to them like "WTF, you bastards." Think of Tae calling JK a motherfucker after he hangs up on him. Doesn't it feel like it could have been something similar? Hey, you're imagining it now, aren't you? Doesn't feel that sinister, does it? 😂

If they did go "home", I suspect it means accommodation, not hightailing it to Seoul.

But I do want to just point out that I don't think it makes Tae a bad person if they did leave him there and go back to Seoul. JK, a fully grown man, made a choice to change the plan so he could snowboard more and maybe everyone else was tired or had schedules. I mean they're very famous and busy.

So again. No. I don't think Tae left him there for three days. The dates suggest they were together - Tae, JK and Tae's friends - for three days and this happened at the end. But it's a happy memory for JK.

[waitmyturtles]

THE MORNING AFTER: ONLY FRIENDS, EPISODE 9 EDITION -- SEX, RELIEF, HYPOCRISY, AND A MEDITATION FOR THE HOES

There's a lot to dig into, so let's git it. This episode was more complicated than it actually seemed on the surface -- THANKS, TOP.

@lurkingshan and @respectthepetty came OUTTA the GATES as soon as yesterday's episode dropped, swinging their chanclas at the hypocrisies that larded this episode. Shan read almost every last one of these motherfuckers for filth in her post, naming Atom (there goes my NeoTitle dreams already) for unfairly shaming Boston; Ray, for clearly cheating on Mew; and Sand, for equivocating Ray to Boston -- all while Boston is actually still clearly communicating his preferences to not date, despite people all around him judging him for the sex he has. RTP Senpai points out that Sand is pissed off at Top for stealing Sand's ex-boyfriend -- but that Sand full well knows that while he's sleeping with Ray, Ray was technically still dating Mew. So -- is Sand stealing Mew's boyfriend from Ray? Why, oh yes he is, and Sand ain't holding himself accountable for it, Big Boba Kanaphan Eyes.

Hypocrisy. It was the name of the game of this episode. Or.... was it? It was actually way more complicated than that.

Atom in particular, just like -- where's my chappal -- but let me get back to him in a sec. As the hypocrisies were starting to click in, I saw something else going on in this episode, an opposite to the hypocrisy. I saw some clear revelations, and a learning and leaning into love through the inexperienced eyes of Mew, as compared to the painfully experienced eyes of Yo.

The episode started with Mew waking up at the hostel, unaware of Top's behaviors after Mew passed out at the Halloween party. (Top, by the way, was just -- CHEF'S KISS -- drippingly condescending, hypocritical, and sneaky this episode. Force just laid it awl out. What a performance. More on this in a bit.) Mew parties with Yo, who is like, the friend we need the MOST in this series, and asks her about whether or not he SHOULD like Ray. And Yo has to remind Mew to check himself before he wrecks himself over any sense of obligation he may have to Ray.

Yo's starting to help Mew's thoughts tickle away from obligation to a reality of his heart. At least -- one reality.

I thought of this scene when we went on the camping trip with Sand and Nick, and we had, I think, the best scene in all of Only Friends so far (cc @wen-kexing-apologist and @lurkingshan who were very, VERY right) -- in Sand and Nick clicking into their moment where they're both single, they both real cute, and why don't we see if something's there? Because that happens among friends, sometimes, and if you don't try, you won't know, right? Especially in a queer friend community that will almost always be smaller than a het community, making love that much harder to find. So you might dibble and dabble with your friends here and there.

And they smooched, and they laughed, and they were like, this doesn't work, and they laughed more, and moved on. And they were just so mad cool about it.

The way that this particular line of engagement ended with two pairs -- with Sand and Nick finding clarity, and Ray and Mew together at the social services office and communicating, to confirm that Ray and Mew just would not work together -- was a kind of relief that I haven't experienced in Only Friends yet. The slight lift I got from seeing these considerations and interactions reminded me of how I felt when the tide of trauma began to turn in Bed Friend, where the second act of that series was just trauma pummel after trauma pummel -- how much more could Uea take, I wondered. As we saw, in this episode of Only Friends, clarity roll through SandNick and RayMew, I felt relieved that there was some closure, somewhere, among some of these individuals who had tried, even ever so briefly, to pair up.

But -- this being Only Friends, heh -- it was not only relief that I felt in this episode, but we also still saw a lot of sticky toxicity and hypocritical judgements.

Atom couldn't just leave Boston ALONE. As ever, Boston has communicated to his hook-up that he's not a dating guy, not a relationship guy. And Atom doesn't take the hint.

I love that at this point in the series, at episode 9, we STILL have people judging one-night stands as "awful." What a stark reminder of the ways in which people use judgements against sex to forever condemn those who choose to engage in casual sex.

After episode 6, I wrote a little about the phenomenon of having "feelings" after sex. Many, many people have a biological urge (or even a socially expectant urge) to care/have feelings for for the person they have slept with, whether they had sex after a one-night stand, a friends-with-benefits arrangement, sex in a relationship, etc. Others, like Boston, don't.

Either of these phenomena are okay and utterly normal -- as long as you're accountable to yourself for your feelings, and not placing on anyone else any obligation to respond to those feelings that are only emanating from you, yourself.

In other words: even if Atom had "feelings" for Boston after sex -- what is Boston's responsibility to respond in kind to those feelings?

Boston had the right answer to Atom here. Boston says to Atom: no one (meaning, me, Boston) asked you to care for me. And I'm not here to hold that caring for you. I don't owe you that, Atom. That's not what's assumed when two people have sex as casually as we did.

Compare this to Nick's farewell monologue to Boston (right before Boston is about to have a hook-up, oh my god, Nick). Nick had a thing to say about his feelings ("I like you, Boston, and I am sorry for everything I did, and I am going to move on from you"), he said his piece, and he moved on.

At first, I was CRINGING at what was happening, because I thought Nick would make an embarrassingly grand and dramaaaaatic farewell, of a kind that I saw many of my drunk girlfriends make to their exes at bars when I was in my 20s, all with an intent of making their exes feel guilty for the break-ups that had previously happened.

But Nick, in that moment, actually owned his feelings, despite the timing of the conversation. And we saw Boston respond, ready to approach Nick -- and Nick had bounced and moved on with Daddy Dan, right then and there.

What a MIRROR of behavior between Atom ("Boston, you owe me") and Nick ("I thought about this, and I'm going to end it, for your happiness and for mine"). While Boston and his reputation still remain as a kind of bottom standard for people who want to feel superior when they compare themselves to him (ex: Top, Ray, Sand), Boston himself is direct about his feelings, or lack thereof, and Nick demonstrated that he himself has moved on from equivocating about a feeling of like/love that at least, he thinks, is not there anymore. (Which, from Boston's eyes -- we know now is not the case, as Boston continues to give hints of regret.)

I gotta tell y'all something. I was a party girl, like this group of friends, in my 20s. And I was heavily judged for being a ho. The terms slut, ho, whore -- were all used to describe my behavior in dripping judgement that I wasn't, instead, seeking safe and Puritanical monogamy. I was having fun with and in sex, and I was very heavily judged for it. Maybe, in part, it was because some of my friends had a harder time finding sex? Perhaps. But because sex is so EASY to judge, based on the majority popular judgements against sex -- isn't it easier to roll with the tide, than to think outside of the box and to not judge someone for having casual sex?

While Boston's ho reputation precedes him -- it is a reputation based on an unfair, almost Puritanical judgement against sex, and against people who have sex. (Once again: hello, Khai.) I give major applause to the hoes in this episode of Only Friends. All while people around them are judging sex, and judging people like Boston for having sex: Boston and Nick are not hiding anything -- they are not trying to equivocate away their actions. Their own timing isn't right. Nick knows he's about to go and hit that with a new dude. But they both have clarity about what's happening inside of them at their given moments, and they've become better about communicating what's happening inside of them over the course of the series. It's yet to be seen if the timing will work out for Boston and Nick -- but they're inching towards a clearer line of openness than we've seen in the past.

So. While awwwwlllll of this is going on: Top continues to try to infuse himself in Mew's life. Man. THIS GUY.

Top? Shut the hell up. Condescending foo. And then showing up to invite yourself to accompany Mew's moms? All while Mew doesn't know that you crossed his boundaries the last episode? And that you recorded Ray smooching Sand? Stooping to the very same tactics that got you, Top, caught? AND YOU CALLED A BOOTY CALL? While trying to win back Mew?

And...... amazingly. For Top, it worked. Or at least, it was working for a second. Mew was reconsidering.

To me -- in my opinion -- Top's behavior seems conniving, sniveling, more about winning than about love. But he also knows that he still has a hook in Mew, and was pulling rapidly on the fishing line.

And Mew... Mew began to follow that fishing line again, showing up to Top's building, and hopping into that elevator, with another person that Top had on his hook. And, good lord, now with Mond (MOND!) in the mix, we're going to have ANOTHER dramatic pile-up next week.

God, for me, while there were these notes of relief in this episode, these moments of clarity among people like Sand, Nick, and Boston, I just, like, wanted to tear MY HAIR OUT when I saw Mew and Boeing both approach Top's door at the same time. What the fuck will happen next.

And while Top will try to convince Mew to stay with him, surely, in episode 10 -- Top will also continue to judge Boston to Mew, I am sure. Top will judge Ray. Top will try to "heal" and "protect" and "take care" of Mew.

Top, leveraging judgement against sex by others to build up his own supposed moral and ethical fabric, "taking care" of Mew and leading Mew to think that Top is still a viable candidate for dating -- Cheum even interprets Top's behavior at the Halloween party as "taking care" of Mew -- will it come crumbling down as Boeing the Ex shows up for a little boing-boing?

Dudes, I have no idea, because Top keeps catching breaks! For people at The Top -- that's so often how it works in society, no?

Like I said: this was a hella complicated episode. We have three more to go. This episode captured in a snapshot a group of gloriously imperfect people making equivocating decisions as they bumble along, minute by minute. SandNick and RayMew got CLARITY. Boston got CLARITY on his feelings for Nick. Cheum is getting CLARITY on her association with the hostel. Atom got CLARITY on where Boston stood. I don't know that we have CLARITY on SandRay yet, but.... I dunno, I'll let the capitalists at GMMTV decide that, ha.

Where we don't have clarity is now with Top and Mew, with Top acting clearly duplicitously, and how Mew is going to manage this latest fall-out. I have no idea if Boeing will serve as competition to Mew, if Boeing will be the lug nut in the polycule we're all dying for -- I have no idea. I just know that Top -- who purports himself to be above all moral judgement, winning the hearts and minds of at least two moms from out of town, wtf -- will face yet another challenge in winning Mew's heart that he likely has a stronger chance of winning, due to his station in life. Top was about to come out on Top in this episode, and I wouldn't be surprised if he hangs on for another playoff win next week. We shall see.

I'm tagging the Ephemerality Squad in permanent fury over the permanence of people judging sex, let's go! @ranchthoughts @chickenstrangers @twig-tea @distant-screaming @thatgirl4815 (THATGIRL WITH THE THEORY THAT BOEING MAY NOT BE THE EX THAT TOP AND SAND SHARE, OH SHIT!) @lurkingshan @neuroticbookworm @wen-kexing-apologist @clara-maybe-ontheroad @kayatoasted

[malzykins]

GIVES US THE VOID HAND FREAKS LORE!!! (You dont have to if you dont want to)

OH BOY. well with a nice little request like that how can i say no 😇 

HUGE preface that this is very AU-heavy because. like I got no beef with the actual canon but I just want to play around with my favourite characters like little dollies if that is okay. :]

To even get to the freaks though we do have to start at the beginning of this for it all to make even a lick of sense and to me anyway it feels like a lot.. warning not one centimeter of this is without some form of mental degradation and shameless self-indulgence (<- failing to cope with the lasting effects of cringe culture)

absolutely MASSIVE text post belo im dead serious:

Nothing much really differs from the origin of the Operator/Drifter themselves, all the Zariman shit still happens etc. Operator was kind of a bastard child (shes 12 most of them are, but i digress LOL), very much the kinda person to stick their nose in everyone’s business and try to “fix” all their problems if she thought something could be gained from it (sound familiar?), be it a compensation from the people themselves or from her seniors getting basically surface-level information about it all and being like aww what a good kid!! and gassing her up with all this praise. Most other kids definitely knew what she was doing, or at least didnt like her or the vibe she put off, but it didnt really stop her cause that’s not whose opinion she necessarily cared about the most.

When the Zariman incident happened, her ENTIRE support group became her enemy and she was left with nothing. She got her just desserts alright and it broke her, like really broke her, like watching a spoiled brat finally get what’s coming to em and she genuinely did like a total heel-turn in terms of personality temperament etc. She became a lottt more prone to acting childish and favoured emotional outbursts over rational thinking, since she didnt have her people that she looked up to anymore, she didnt have her Glue so to speak. She went from main character syndrome to acting how a 12 year old would probably realistically act in a fr life-or-death scenario overnight

Being a child in a traumatizing situation she latched onto really anything she could get. any distraction. desperately wanting something or someone to trust. so when that damnable doppelganger shows its face, behaving exactly how she used to behave towards other kids (not that she had the self-awareness to deduce that at the time), she instantly ate from the hand that feeds. And there was that :)

Nothing strays from canon between this point and the First Dream. Shes still very much a petulant crybaby and kind of sucks at being a Tenno but thats neither here nor there,, in the Dream, though, is when things start to REALLY deviate.

During the years of war and strife and child-soldier-ism with everyone else, she had a lot of time to think. Shes well aware that all this void power shit wasnt possible before their time on the Zariman, and as far as she was aware she was pretty certain that didnt change the moment they boarded. Over time she fights the memory suppression of her traumas to dig up answers and narrows it right down to that moment she shook hands with herself, something clearly odd and nonsensical, now viewing it with a bit more clarity of mind and basically coming to the epiphany of Oh You Motherfucker. theres no way it was not you. theres no way ALL OF THIS (the existence of the tenno and by extension their eventual drafting into the war, and all of the bullshit that follows that) was not because of you. And when they get told that theyre all going to be put into a cryosleep, because theyre more trouble than theyre worth, really, to just to give everyone around them more peace of mind well. shes quite upset about it. She and other kids definitely try to fight their way out of it (they dont make it far) and rest assured theres no shortness of bawling and sobbing, but deep in there there is anger. She starts to get real pissed off about this whole ordeal and honestly just fucking everything that has lead to it, that piece of her old self that had the capacity for rage and ambition bubbling through the surface.

When she was placed into the First Dream, that quickly manifested well outside of her control. She herself was entirely lacking in conscience, but that essence of herself that existed just beyond her own grasp, that metaphorical spirit that whatever youd want to call it, began to fester in some crevice deep in the Void, not having truly left the place after the events of the Zariman unfolded. It festered and festered and grew until every horrible negative emotion that she Could Not experience in her current state snapped free and went on a violent witch hunt for exactly who the hell made her this way and WHEN she found It, that manifestation didnt relent in the slightest as it quite literally beat the absolute ever-loving dogshit out of the Indifference and (taking some of the various Murmur codex entries very literally) lashed its very flesh apart like a goddamn. kindergarten art project.

Once all of her anger was spent and she realized that didnt actually fix any of her problems, and the bastard was busy reeling for a while because, what in the fuck was all that about, she was left just a lonely, sad empty husk. And because of the Void’s receptivity with negative emotion, it did something with that, taking those lacerated fragments and turning them into something greater, turning them into companions to fill that lonely gap, into the Murmur. they are very No Thoughts creatures and dont understand what existence really is, and like most freshly borned creatures they imprint on the first thing they see (the Indifference) though they know at least the smell of who ultimately made them and are constantly chasing that trail to find the source (hence their appearance in reality in the albrecht labs because we dont really Know in canon what theyre looking for in there exactly (afaik) so I’m justttt rewriting that. for me 😇)

Once they inevitably have their cool reunion or whatever (which takes place a lot sooner than the normal story progression, I just am not sure on where to put a pin) Operator latches onto them just as much as they latch onto her, their Maker, and she ends up neglecting a lot of her responsibilities to just run and play with the little freaks all day ^-^ which really pisses off the Drifter. and makes HER take up the Operator’s mantle, a good chunk of the normal questline being done by her instead.

NOW. for what you ACTUALLY asked for. Im so sorry 😭

THESE three bastards: Prodah, Nahkip, Vedah, in that order. In this little AU thing, Murmur fragments have this little bit of individuality to them in the form of those lighter blue stripes or “veins”, which are more like indentations in their skin that faintly glow with their Void energy. The more a fragment has or the more unique they are, the more respected the individual is in a sort of innate social hierarchy system. If a fragment is born with no veins whatsoever, if they are unmarred and “perfect” so to speak, they are essentially bullied and outcasted to some unloved corner of the Great Indifference to wallow alone, and for a faction all about unity and working together that isnt very nice. :)

Vedah and Nahkip are the two I probably have the least juice for. Not that I dont like them (far from it) I just have yet to reeeeally get to them ;; I at LEAST have personalities and such down

Vedah is like a curious naive little dog. It’s very erratic and jumpy and is more often a follower than a leader. It loves games but gets bored easily, and loves trying to make friends. It definitely makes the most racket out of the three, big chatterbox this one (I love the sounds the fragments make... they are such screechy little creatures it's soooo cute)

Nahkip is probably the most “normal” out of them. It doesn’t vocalize often and carries itself in a bit of a high regard (not necessarily in a conceited way, moreso it is aware that it is of a somewhat higher caliber than most and incidentally behaves as such). It’ll politely listen to others and offer input when it’s spoken to, but once all is said and done, it returns to pretending you don’t exist, going about its own business.

Prodah, the last fellow, is (was?) one of those unfortunate veinless souls. It often found itself a victim of many fights, and it quickly learned that trying to defend itself only made matters substantially worse. In one particularly nasty scenario, its ring and pinky finger were completely snapped off by an attacker and ground to dust. It tried to fight its way out of exile often, but eventually succumbed to the hand it’d been dealt, fleeing to some unaccompanied outcropping overlooking the Void.

Vedah found it, eventually, having sniffed it out and tracked it from where it hid buried in the sand for god knows. Prodah of course, very angry and scared and traumatized all at once, didnt take too kindly to the ordeal, but Vedah’s “people skills” and a rare instance of patience helped bring the guy just enough out of its shell to at least stop regressing into fight-or-flight everytime it (Vedah) moved :] Still VERY skittery and non-trusting. just a bit more… tolerable.

Vedah and Nahkip are friends. or. at least Vedah sees it that way. Nahkip tolerates it but could really give or take. Vedah always wants to show around its new friends to its current friends, and Prodah is not an exception even if it really should be (hence the naivety; you can’t “look guys it’s cool dont be mean okay :D” your way out of everything girl)

LUCKILY Nahkip seems to not gaf. At least not in a bad way. No it actually definitely gaf because it’s been ages since it’s last seen a veinless fragment still kicking around (esp since there is essentially no reproduction of these creatures, whatever exists is all that will ever be (unless MITW feels like getting flayed again. for some reason) so once you’re killed or whatever it’s gg) and is very surprised that one is still alive, figured over time it should have just gone feral and torn itself apart from insanity or decomposed on its own, but it didn’t. and Nahkip is a bit of a studious fellow. so it is very interested in this creature.

There isn’t too much coherent lore after this.. lots of bits and bobs and meat and potatoes but not the most fleshed-out explanation for it all? At some point the three become close enough with one another (maybe more spiritually than anything, cause it likely isn’t so apparent from an outside perspective) that they form a Severed Warden like some sort of Digimon evolution or whatever 😇 There is some large gap of time where the Operator does not see them, the entire Prodah arc happening under her nose so when she next greets them they are together as the Warden and shes so proud of em ;; she doesnt really understand how it happened/works but she knows Vedah and Nahkip are in there and they do their best to introduce Prodah to her. After some coaxing it uncurls itself to meet her and she's absolutely appalled to see a friend in such a sorry state (being a Warden didn’t heal old scars), and figured that wasn’t any way for someone to live. so she removes her gloves and gently holds its hand in her own Void-corrupted ones (that I’m sure most Operators have anyway; shes extremely self-conscious about people seeing them but the Murmur are similar to her, in a way, so with them she relents) to offer that connection and comfort with it. In the same motion, some transfer of power takes place and after a brief moment, Prodah finds itself whole again with two new fingers to replace its lost ones, brimming with the light of Void energy. IN TURN, though, not such is without consequence, the Operator now missing those exact same digits that Prodah initially lacked. She quite literally gave it her own (which is why its lighter-colored fingers in the image do not have the standard issue Murmur claws. also this throws the Indifference for a loop because ??? bastard child I gave you that for YOU. not for you to just give handouts to thralls 😐). This is a complete heel turn for Prodah because while it was initially a perfect, veinless creature and demonized to all hell and back.. to receive marks from the Maker itself??? WILDLY different story. Okay we respect you now. like a lot. like A LOT a lot.

I absolutely had plans to include The Fragmented One in my little repertoire of creatures as well :3c For this I’m going to pull directly from my brief lore document instead of just reiterating what is perfectly fine to copy-paste instead, if no one minds:

“To make an example for the Operator, the Drifter assists Loid in secret in purging the Laboratories of Murmur presence, but ends up slaying the Warden of Vedah, Nahkip, and Prodah in the process. The Operator’s heartrending grief at their passing draws uneasiness from the Indifference itself, and her dormant, volatile energy involuntarily wrenches forth their fragments from the afterlife, as if they had never perished at all (this is unknown to her; her döppelganger is the one to impart this information, yet not knowledge of their whereabouts). She dedicates restless hours to searching for them, neglecting her own health, too nerve-wracked to properly eat or sleep. It is after a week’s passing that the Operator discovers an odd formation within The Great Indifference and, upon touching its surface, the structure breathes in new life, lost fragments rising from beneath the sand to create the One. Upon spotting Vedah, Nahkip, and Prodah atop the bow of the amalgamation, she becomes overjoyed at their revivification, triggering a transference of power between them; the Operator’s Void energy unknowingly begins to bleed over into the One, a deadly power donation creating an impossibly cataclysmic entity with capabilities yet to be measured. In anointment, the Operator honorably dubs the creature Fronrein—’tandem roar’—and it is forever at her beck and call.”

this Fragmented One is no stronger than the one you face normally. I just wanted to squeeze in something for my lore that could possibly explain why that fucker is SO god damn brutal in Steel Path.

Lastly (thank Christ right), something I haven’t yet fully fleshed out is that I want to pull the consciousness of the main fragments into the Operator’s warframes. Likely happened at some point during Fronrein’s birth. it’d be neat for these friends to exist in two places at once :) seems totally feasible to me given how freaky the Void gets. Vedah inhabits her Wisp, Nahkip her Protea, and Prodah her Harrow. None of this is planned, it just sort of Happens. the fourth arm of the One also gets dragged into this (dont have much for it. similar mannerisms to Nahkip I know at least), being placed into the Drifter’s Chroma, and she is NOT happy about it. very peeved actually. She hates these fucking things and to now have them basically be sentient frames walking and (telepathically) talking around the ship MUST be some sort of cruel divine punishment. She mellows out though, after some grueling amount of time, becoming a bit more platonic with her Chroma after slowly letting her own defenses down and just bonding and talking with the guy (now that these Murmurs can actually do that), but still is a bit standoffish with the Operator’s frames.

Operator thinks it’s cool as all hell. She’s brainstorming what all frames she could possibly get next and then try to shove Murmurs into those ones too. MUCH to the Drifter’s chagrin. god help them.

ANYWAY. I dont want to beta read this again I just hope it makes sense. Above all I hope it satisfies your ask ;; this is nearing 3,000 on the word count and actually took multiple days to write LOL /// thank you for giving me the opportunity to spill about these guys :’]

[thecursivej]

SOTU - 2024

Well, I'm forcing myself to watch the State of the Union while I grade speeches, so I figured I'd record my reactions and thoughts here.

Do I hope for the words "Immediate Ceasefire"? Absolutely. Will we get them? Looking at the track record, probably not. But I remain optimistic because otherwise I'd be six feet under by now; ANYWHO here is a list of my reactions/thoughts/general feelings of the evening's watch.

I do want to give a point of clarity: I technically am identified as a democrat; truly, I'm a socialist, but seeing as how the U.S. is stuck in this godforsaken two-party-system, that is where I am. Though both sides have me feeling very french-revolutionary-esque.

Of course the first thing I see if MTG rifling through her purse on screen. I quite literally despise her.

AP is discussing Ukraine's need for weapons and funding; I would truly rather us align with Ukraine than Isr@el. I will stand unapologetically firm for Palestine and Ukraine.

Who is actually in the cabinet? I know Blinken, Garland, and Buttiegeg. Damn, wish he was running again. Would rather have him than Biden.

How insane is it that the Sec. of Defense didn't even let the White House know that he had to go in for surgery because of cancer. Like, that's just bonkers to me.

Republicans truly look like fucking robots right now. No warm greetings, no hellos, simple nods.

Republicans out here wasting fucking time with that impeachment of Mayorkas. Like how about we house the homeless populations with the money they wasted on this circus.

Oh funky fresh look at the Ultra-Mormon(TM) Mitt Romney.

MTG with that stupid fucking MAGA hat on is just... disgusting. Like this bitch is crazy.

Okay Joe, speed it up down the fucking aisle please. I got papers to grade.

Lowkey Joe looks like he might have had a five-hour energy drink with that big-ole look in his eyes.

I do appreciate that Joe still smiles and is kind to MTG. She truly doesn't deserve it.

Okay this is getting just a wee bit too monarchy for me.

MTG holds up a button saying "Laken Riley..." (couldn't read the rest). Riley was a 14 year old girl murdered by a man who was an illegal immigrant of venezuela, and instead of handling this situation with grace, empathy, and love; MTG and others seem to be capitalizing on her death to push their anti-immigration rhetoric.

Okay, cool selfie skills Joe, but let's get on with it.

ALSO HOW IS JOE BIDEN GONNA BE SO IN DEPTH WITH TECH AND "Savvy" WITH IT WHEN MOTHERFUCKER WANTS TO BAN TIKTOK!? Hello?!

BERNIE AND RAPHAEL! I feel like I haven't seen these guys in 10 million years.

Oh thank god we're starting.

Aww the little hand shake thingy he does with Kamala makes my heart happy.

Did Joe just yell "tony"?!

Wow, even got some republicans clapping for him (probs not a good thing but here we are)

Okay, good bit of humor at the top; and a throwback to the 40s. Funky fresh.

Yeah we ain't living in ordinary times for damn sure.

Interesting point of democracy being attacked here in the U.S. AND Internationally. (Mentions Ukraine and Putin; no word on Gaza yet).

Someone busted out a Ukrainian flag and shook it; rock on.

OH SHIT HE GOT MIKE JOHNSON TO CLAP!

Appreciate the insistance that the U.S. won't send troops to UKR.

Good use of Reagan to connect with the Repubs; and compare to the predecessor (aka Tr*mp).

Mike Johnson nodding instead of clapping about the predecessor comment, trying to save his ass in Orange Man's eyes.

Welcome to NATO, Sweden!

If there is one thing that should connect Democrats and Republicans; it's hatred for Putin. Yet there's a mix of Repubs standing in agreement and sitting to back up the predecessor's comment on Putin doing "whatever the hell he wants"

Talking about Jan 6. What breaks my heart? My parents still believe it wasn't an insurrection. Yikes on Bikes for me.

The line "You can't love your country only when you win" hits hard and even got Mike Johnson to applaud in agreement.

Foreign AND Domestic. Need a hefty focus on that with the right-wing republican group (@ MTG, Gaetz, Cruz, etc.)

Discussing IVF in Alabama; good connection to the overturning of Rowe v. Wade. It sucks that Republicans HAVE THE POWER to protect IVF nationally but shot the damn bill down not even a week ago.

ABORTION IS A HUMAN RIGHT. BODILY AUTONOMY IS A HUMAN. FUCKING. RIGHT. (@ The Missouri Senators who support taking away bodily autonomy).

WOMEN AREN'T WITHOUT ELECTORAL AND POLITICAL POWER; WE ABOUT TO TURN UP IN FORCE MOTHERFUCKERS!!! Bring back the strats from the 1900s; time to use our power and go bonkers.

Someone get Joe a glass of water please. Motherfucker looks a bit parched and keeps coughing. I get that when my throat goes dryyy

Can Biden not restore RvW? Can he not by an executive order make RvW the law of the land already?

Revisiting COVID's start from 2020 (Next week is the four year anniversary since the global pandemic).

PFFT idk who just yelled "LIES" but that was comical AF.

Well, the pandemic still controls a big part of our lives... so...don't agree with that shit.

Man, everyone sitting-and-standing must be getting a HELLA calf work out.

Sure, unemployment is down and new jobs are built; but corporate greed is quite literally killing us. Can Congress or Biden do something, damn it?!

Are we beginning to feel it, though? Are we feeling good economics? I doubt we are.

Good job pointing out how both parties have failed to buy american products, but how this admin has established that.

There's a good two rows of Republicans who stand in applause; but the rest just... sit there. Like robots. It's freaky as fuck.

Joe is actually doing pretty great with the flow of this speech. Only a couple of stumbles, but overall pretty gucci. (He'd get a 9/10 on delivery in my public speaking class).

God these fuckers are really gonna make me run for office at this damn point.

Removing poisonous lead pipes... but there's still a water crisis in Flint, Biden. Like, what the fuckeroni do you mean?

Yes, let's invest in family farms; lets stop selling our farmland (especially in Missouri) to foreign countries (@ China buying up TONS of Missouri Farmland).

I love that the UAW president is here, because he straight up is my kind of people. Dude wears eat-the-rich shirts and calls out the unethical-ness of billionaires.

UAW President pointing to Biden saying "It's you!"; nah dawg, it's you Sean.

MIDDLE CLASS DID BUILD THE COUNTRY AND UNIONS BUILT THE MIDDLE CLASS MOTHER FUCKERS!!!

Yes we get back up but right now...we might be getting more french revolutionary-esque if y'all don't stop PLAYING WITH OUR LIVES.

Oh jesus not the 4-more-years chants.

Oh now we talking about the future

YES PLEASE END TRICKLE DOWN ECONOMIES.

Says he's not anti-corp; but points out how trickle down economics has only helped the wealthy.

Yeah, how the fuck does it hurt the wealthy to pay just a weeee bit more in taxes? Like dawg, what are you gonna do with another million? What's the point?

Ooooh is Biden about to rope the repubs into some bipartisan shit? Please do.

What is Republicans huge issue with capping insulin? Truly? Who does it harm? Billionaires still get billions.

[accidentalcookies]

hello!! i kept procrastinating this, but now i'm actually buckling down to do a shaoyuan intro post!! i will get to the others sometime in the future... but for now, onto sy!!

(picrew here)

so for context, sy is actually my dnd character in a friend's campaign, but i simply love him so much that i plucked him out to shove him into various aus for my entertainment 😂

which also means that this character intro is less about an intro of him in a specific universe, and more just the key traits and backstory aspects that need to make it into every au in some way to make sy, well, sy. if i ever refer to a "canon" sy, that would be his original, dnd character version.

this got longer than i expected, i'm putting it all under a readmore 😅

full name: shaoyuan nie, 聂绍淵 (yes technically the last character is the traditional version but... it looks cooler than the simplified so i kept it SKDFHG)

age: it depends. canon sy is currently 28, and typically i do put him in his late 20s (unless i'm writing his younger self)

height: 6'3" (tall boy)

the gist of sy's backstory is that he's born to some sort of high ranking, nobility-adjacent family as the eldest of a set of twins, him and shaoquan. he has two older sisters, qinhui and qinli (twins) who are around 5 years older than him, and two very much younger siblings (also twins), nianxiu and nianping, who are 17 years younger than him, and whom we will refer to as the babies, because that's what they are to sy 😂

the reasons for it differs between aus, but when all the nie siblings are younger, each set of twins is forced to fight each other to the death (or near-death), sometimes alongside other kids in their age bracket. usually i translate it as something like a "training from hell" thing, such as in the mafia au with aristides.

whatever the reason given in-universe, though, sy takes it extremely seriously. like, way too seriously. essentially, if you give him a task, and convince him that it's necessary, he will become absolutely singlemindedly determined to complete it, and will give it 1000% effort. given that the context for this is fratricide (and often fellow child murder as well), you can imagine that 1000% effort is not great for his twin, sq.

these death-fights typically end at a certain age (adulthood), and it isn't until the very last set of death-fights does he suddenly have a moment of clarity, staring into his twin's eyes as he murders them. it's sort of a moment of like, "what was even the point of this? why was i even doing this? why was i going so hard on fratricide?"

cue the ensuing downward spiral! because in this moment, sy realizes that "hey, i'm an awful person! i do awful things! i only feel bad about the fratricide because i only just realized that it was all pointless and cruel! if given another purpose to fulfill, i would absolutely do similarly heinous shit! i'm a monster actually!!"

in canon, after they meet up again after that last fight, sq absolutely tears into sy about it and absolutely rips him to shreds with their words, and i usually translate this over into the aus, too. it's actually one of the pivotal moments in sy's psyche, the gordian knot that ties together all his guilt and regret and repentance and self-destruction.

following that, it becomes sy's life goal to get the babies (here they are!!) out from whatever situation the family is in, whether that be training from hell, or a cult, or whatever. some aus i set for before he manages it, and others i set for after. all that really does is affect his self-preservation-from-death mindset, where if it's before he's gotten the babies out, he's determined to live solely so he can achieve this goal, and if it's after, he's determined to get himself killed somehow 😅

as a character, sy is a deadpan sarcastic motherfucker. he will snark about anything and everything, and his internal monologue is always a joy to write, because he's also just a little bit weird! and as evidenced with the babies, he has an extreme soft spot for children, and has a big brother instinct a mile wide (and, if we're being honest, a parental instinct too). he has a tendency to take things way too seriously (if fratricide wasn't a good tip-off already..); if someone he trusts tells him something is necessary, it won't even occur to him to question it. and when it comes to it, he's ruthlessly cold. there's nothing he won't do, to achieve his goals. and he won't feel guilty about it either, if it proves necessary, despite his all-encompassing guilt complex. he'll feel guilty that he doesn't feel guilty, if that makes sense? he is also an incredibly avoidant bastard, and his main coping mechanism is repression. to him, talking about his feelings is worse than death, and he will do his utmost to avoid it. he also doesn't believe he deserves to be loved, so when it turns out that people do, he has absolutely no idea what to do with himself. "no don't, you're making a mistake, wait," he says

some additional facts about sy that i don't know where to put in this post:

in his dnd incarnation, he used to be a high level evocation wizard, with an elemental affinity of acid. he has since burned his spellbook in an attempt to declaw himself, and is now a rogue-warlock

i try to keep the aspect of acid elemental affinity across universes in some form, and his hatred for his inherent affinity

so yes, this does mean that he melted his twin's face off with acid in their fights.

he is trans!!

he is also undead in canon. shit happened

in canon, because of Reasons™️ (AKA being literally haunted by his own regrets), he's got a sort of discoloration on the left side of his face and his left eye that's in the shape of the whole melty-twin thing, and parts of his hair is slowly turning white. i typically try to keep this across aus somehow, and it's why i put it in the picrew, but it's not technically a scar.

for a man who is 6'3 and is typically dressed in a classic black suit, tie and all, his stealth stat is absurd. it's his highest stat in dnd, and i keep that trait through every single au. he's like a cat

this isn't important but i do think it's funny: in canon he is an accountant. just a normal accountant. and is also causing the in-universe equivalent of the prime minister to have an affair.

i also have the following aus in the works for sy, in case anyone was interested in asking about any specific au :3

mafia au: i've been posting about this one! sy is the somewhat-indentured assassin to aristides, head of a mafia. celestinus is aristides' bodyguard and general assistant, kinda, and also serves as the rapid response medic (when sy's done something stupid)

trigun au: come on, there's a fratricidal older twin brother, how could i not? this one is actually super fleshed out, i keep meaning to buckle down and write it.

borderlands au: i actually fucking love borderlands so much you guys, if you ask about this one i'll be eternally grateful. you can have my firstborn.

venovea (my dnd world) au: this one involves more worldbuilding lore, since it's my original dnd world, but holy moly if you ask about this one, you can have my secondborn too. short description: he was raised in a cult, got his siblings out, and is now the divine champion to the god of vengeance. recently, he accidentally started a world war (oops)

mer au: he is a mer. aristides and celestinus attempt to domesticate him (not literally, they're just trying to make sure this rare marine animal has the enrichment and habitat it needs) (they are marine biologists). shenanigans ensue. somewhat accidental baby acquisition too!

if you made it to the end of this post, thank you so much for listening!! please take this gold medal and slice of pie as a token of my appreciation 🪙 🥧♥️

tagging @whumpbug, hope this wasn't too long of a read haha

[minthy-fresh]

OC MANNERISMS-LAIRA

It's been 88 years since I've been tagged in this but FINALLY. FINALLY I CAN WORK ON TAGGED THINGS. HUZZAH.

Art by @ssuzu!

BASICS

- NO. OF SPOKEN LANGUAGES >> Taldane, Celestial, Gnomish, Varisian (native tongue), Necril

- TONE OF VOICE >> high / average / deep 

Average in a way that her tone is a little lower than average but she tends to speak in her upper voice a lot.

- ACCENT >> yes / no 

She has a pretty strong Ustalavan accent given that's where she was raised all her life. (Romanian for an IRL reference)

- DEMEANOR >> confident / shy / approachable / hostile / other

It's not shy per se, but it's not...someone who's easily approachable. She's not really hostile but she does carry herself as someone who would very much rather keep to herself than maintain a conversation.

- POSTURE >> slumped / straight / stiff / relaxed

Her posture is so stiff she is like a twig someone give her a shoulder massage PLEASE.

HABITS

Rests her chin on her hand when she's deep in thought.

Does not have consistent eye contact though that's hard to tell with her glasses.

Crosses her arms when she's in war councils.

Frequent pausing, almost as if she's trying to plan out every single word she makes.

COMPLEXITY (Fill in the circle’s as you wish)

- VOCABULARY >> ⚫️⚫️⚫️⚪️⚪️

Probably more of a standard vocabulary. She speaks as *if* she'd know harder words but I think that's more how she carries herself rather than what words she understands.

- EMOTION >> ⚫️⚪️⚪️⚪️⚪️

She tries to keep her emotions very much in check on the regular, and sometimes the delivery comes across as very flat.

- SENTENCE STRUCTURE >> ⚫️⚫️⚫️⚪️⚪

Pretty standard in terms of structure, but can occasionally go into vague territory.

PROFANITY

- FREQUENCY >> ⚫️⚪️⚪️⚪️⚪️

What are swears? Jk jk I think she's only sworn like...three times in her life.

- CREATIVITY (in regards to profanity) >> ⚫️⚪️⚪️⚪️⚪️

BOLD THAT APPLY

arse / ass / asshole / bastard / bitch / bloody / bugger / bollocks / chicken shit / crap / cunt / dick / frick / fuck / horseshit / motherfucker / piss / prick / pussy / screw / shit / shitass / son of a bitch / twat / wanker

THIS OR THAT

straightforward or cryptic? / finding the right word or using the first word that comes to mind? / masculinity, neutrality, or femininity? / formalities or with abrasiveness? / praise or equivocation? / frankness or flattery / excessive or minimal hand gestures / name-calling or magnanimity? / friendly or blunt

IMPORTANT QUESTIONS

- DO PEOPLE HAVE A HARD TIME HEARING OR UNDERSTANDING YOUR CHARACTER? almost always / frequently / rarely / never

While Laira tends to come off as quiet, she has an assertive nature and speaks her words out with clarity.

- DOES YOUR CHARACTER’S POINT COME ACROSS EASILY WHEN THEY SPEAK?

 almost always / frequently / sometimes / rarely / never

- WOULD YOUR CHARACTER INITIATE CONVERSATIONS?

almost always / frequently / sometimes / rarely / never

- WOULD YOUR CHARACTER BE THE ONE TO END CONVERSATIONS?

almost always / frequently / sometimes / rarely / never

- WOULD YOUR CHARACTER USE ‘WHOM’ IN A SENTENCE?

yes / no / only ironically

- YOUR CHARACTER WANTS TO MAKE A COUNTERPOINT. WHAT WORD DO THEY USE?

but / though / although / however / perhaps / maybe

- HOW DOES YOUR CHARACTER END CONVERSATIONS? 

walk away / ask if that’s everything / say that’s everything / give a proper goodbye / tell their company they're done here / remain quiet / they don’t

- WHAT SOCIAL CLASS WOULD OTHERS ASSUME YOUR CHARACTER BELONGS TO, HEARING THEM SPEAK?

upper / middle / lower

[caesurah-tblr]

For those of you who don’t like to read on AO3, here’s the first chapter of Try Not To Lose Your Head. Enjoy :)

“-lie! Charlie!”

The first thing that hits him is the coppery smell of blood. It coats his tongue and leaves an unpleasant taste in his mouth. His head hurts. He feels like he’s going to be sick.

“Charlie! Get the fuck up!” Hands grab his arm, forcing him to roll over onto his back. Charlie blinks up at the person above him, blurry vision unable to pick out any features but the color blue.

“Sneeg?” He slurs at the figure. They make an offended noise.

“Sneeg-? What the fuck, man? You’ve been missing for six months, and you don’t even remember my name?”

The figure leans closer, his face finally sharpening into full clarity. It’s a young man in a blue hoodie with wild hair and eyes. He looks terrified.

“Your name?” Charlie doesn’t know this person. Not even a vague memory.

Does he?

Blink. Blink. Blink.

“Dude, get up. What the fuck is on your face?”

He sits up shakily, hands reaching up to his face. His fingers graze metal.

He’s wearing a mask. He’s wearing a mask just like-

“Ranboo!” Charlie turns to the man beside him. “Where are they?! Did they get out?!”

“Get out? Charlie-“ The man’s face shifts from genuine fear to anger. “Charlie, there’s no Ranboo. There’s no Sneeg. You’ve been missing for six months and we finally managed to track you down. So let’s fucking go.”

“I’m not leaving.” Charlie grabs the edges of the mask and pulls. The sharp metal cuts into his fingers, but it doesn’t matter- this has to come off. “I’m not leaving without making sure Ranboo got out first.”

Blink. Blink. Blink.

The face in front of him distorts for a moment and his vision blurs. He sees white, then-

“You’re hurting yourself! Fucking stop!” A hand slams down on the back of his head, making him let go. The man in front of him looks pissed.

“Get up, Charlie.”

He stands on shaking legs and takes stock of his body- he’s thankfully whole other than a gash on his arm. Is that really it? Charlie honestly feels like he’s come back from the dead.

“Let’s go.” The guy starts to step forward, but Charlie ignores him and steps into the cabin instead.

This was his home. He grew up here, right? He tries to remember ever being a kid, but it just comes up blank. It’s like he never had the memory to begin with.

His room is the same as he remembers it, and even though Charlie is aware it’s nothing more than a set it still brings him comfort. He picks up the book and the desk and opens it to the first page.

His own face looks back a him. Beside him, a man he doesn’t recognize. Another memory gone, he supposes.

Charlie walks through the living room and into the kitchen, finding the set in perfect condition. He pulls open a drawer and grabs the knife within it- it’s not much, but it’s better than a fucking frying pan.

“I grew up here. I think.” He says to the man beside him.

“You didn’t. You’ve never been here before.”

Charlie turns to look at his “friend”. “Then where? Where did I grow up? Because this- this is all I fucking remember.”

The man opens his mouth to respond, but any words are cut off by the sounds of people screaming.

Charlie sprints back the way he and Ranboo had come originally, ignoring the bright red of an exit sign. Ranboo first. Then he’ll leave.

He sprints through the mall, past the now empty sets of streamers (he hesitates for a moment at his own) and into a plaza area. But he’s not here to look around.

A Showfall employee is attacking someone. Another man, this one with longer hair tied up in a bun wearing a white hoodie that’s become pink with blood.

“Hey!” Charlie calls out, drawing the employee’s attention. “Come get me, motherfucker!”

It drops the man onto the floor and comes at him, hands reaching out. Charlie steps to the side and plunges the knife into it’s gut, and is genuinely shocked when not only blood but wires fall onto the floor.

“What the fuck?” He raises his eyebrows as he kneels down to inspect the blood. It doesn’t look unnatural, and the coppery smell is unmistakable. “Weird…”

“Charlie…” Someone says in a shaking voice. “You just killed someone.”

Charlie begins to search the body. It has to have something useful on it, right? Maybe a keycard for a door, or a map? “They’re not actually people.”

“Then what are they?”

A map! He unfolds the paper and looks at it closely- it’s mostly just scribbles in a language he doesn’t understand, but something stands out. A room is circled, the name CONTROL ROOM written in English above it. Seems like the best shot.

“Don’t know.” Charlie stands up. “Don’t care. I suggest you two get out of here while you still can.”

Man-Bun steps forward. “Charlie, do you know how long you’ve been missing? Everyone thinks you’re dead.”

“I have been.” He snaps. He’s really getting fed up with these guys not telling him anything. “I was. Four times. I’ve been dead four fucking times, okay?! And I don’t know who either of you are, and I can’t fucking remember anything!”

Charlie begins to walk away. “All I know is that someone cared enough to get me out of my own personal hell, and I owe him my life for it.”

A moment passes before footsteps follow behind. There’s murmuring, but Charlie doesn’t care to listen. They want to follow? Fine.

He finds a directory and between it and the map, he finds the control room.

It’s a large room. A kiosk of some kind sits near the front, littered with buttons. It’s screen is red, the words SECURITY LEVEL INCREASED in black lettering.

Further into the room is a wall, and that wall is covered in TVs, wires, and blood. Oh no-

There’s a metal box sat with its hinges open, showcasing the gore that sticks to its sharp spikes. Someone had been in this.

“No.” Charlie runs towards it. “No no no no. Fuck! Ranboo?!”

There’s something at the base of the podium, so smeared in blood it nearly blends in with the bloody ground. A jacket.

Ranboo’s jacket.

Charlie clutches the soaked garment his body and drops to his knees, letting out a pained sob. Fuck.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck holy fuck-

He screams, his voice breaking with the force of it. It’s not fair. Ranboo was supposed to leave- he was the Hero, the one meant to survive. That’s why Charlie had given his life to protect him- because in all the stories he’s ever read, the Hero was meant to live. So why is he dead?

Hands grab his shoulders but he jerks away from them, leaning over the only thing he has left of his friend.

“Why?!” Charlie doesn’t expect an answer, but he calls out anyways. “Why them?! Why not me?! I’m nothing! I- I don’t remember anything! He was supposed to live!”

“Because that wouldn’t make an interesting story, would it?”

That voice…

His head shoots up. On the many screens is Hetch.

“You fucker.” Charlie rises to his feet. “You motherfucker! You said you’d help us! You told us how to shut down the show!”

“I did.” Hetch agrees. “But I never promised anything about making it out alive. The Founder has given me a task, after all. Do you want to know what that task is?”

Hetch raises a hand and points at him.

“It’s you, Charlie. The reason Ranboo is dead is because of you. The reason they’re all dead? You. This was never about some “Hero”. It has always been you.”

“What the fuck do you want from me?!” Charlie demands. “If you want me dead or something, just fucking do it already! Stop killing innocent people!”

His fault? Everything was his fault. He was the reason they were dead.

Hetch raises his hands. “I didn’t kill anyone. It’s not my fault. You on the other hand? There’s more blood on your hands than you know. And after the show is over, it’ll be stained so deep your skin will turn pink. You’ll scrub and scrub but it’ll never truly come off.”

“You dead!” Charlie snarls. “I’m going to find you, and you’ll be dead. The Founder is next! Every single one of you is dead!”

“I’d expect nothing less from our true Hero.” Hetch folds his hands in front of him, and even though his face his covered by a mask Charlie can tell he’s smiling. “The game is on, then. Find me, and you’ll find Ranboo. One last finale. Let’s wow them.”

The screens shut off, leaving the room drenched in a sickening shade of red.

I’ll find you, motherfucker. Just you wait.

[breathlessheartbeat]

Succubus pt. 2

The aforepromised more resus-focused part 2 of the story inspired by @deliciousbeats89 | You can read part 1 HERE

TW: blood, dark cardiophilia

Alright, let’s review: I was dead. 

I was killed by the prettiest woman I have ever seen in my life. The only reason I was able to even know that was the case, was because she consumed my soul, but not all the way. And now she was standing over my dead body, trying to bring me back. 

Not that it looked much like that. 

It was clear she was too strong for my feeble human body. When her voluptuous arms pushed down on my chest, they crushed it all the way. My belly violently bulged, my head tilted back, my feet moving side to side. The little air trapped inside my lungs came out in forceful huffs and barely had any time to replenish before it was squeezed out again by a strong compression. 

She leaned down, closed my nose, and blew air into my throat. Somehow, I felt it burn, hot as sulfur. Even so, my chest rose and fell. Once, two times, three. A wave of clarity hit me, but I was still floating above myself, too far from life. 

The succubus went back to my chest, compressing it again and again and again. The bed shook under her, the beams pushed to their limit, about to break. She didn’t look fazed in the least that a large bruise was starting to form under her hands, just between my jiggling breasts. It was not the first one she had given me, it will not be the last. 

She gave me breath, tilting my head back, holding both sides of my face. I didn’t know if that was the proper way to do it, but damn it looked hot to see her fight for my life. She was clearly not made for comfort, for curing and yet, she tried. 

Her hands assaulted my chest again. She growled low in her throat and showed her fangs. 

“Hurry up and breathe already!” She commanded. I wanted to. I would do whatever she asked me, but I had no choice on the matter. My lungs were as still as they were before. My heart was pounding, but just as long as she was pressing on it, again and again and again. 

Her next breath was more aggressive. She took me into her arms, held my limp head as if she wanted to make me look at her. My bluish lips were agape, my eyes tearful and leaking, staring at nothing. Pupils dilated in the dark of the room. She forced warm air into me, stronger and for longer. The air rushed back out to meet her as she pushed my bulged abdomen down. She didn’t look happy. 

The succubus threw my body back down on the floor. I fell like a rag doll. My legs to one side, my arms to the other, my neck in a weird angle. 

She fell on me again. Her hands joined on my chest. I counted to pass the time, one, two, three… fifteen, sixteen, seventeen… twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty. Breathe. Still, it felt like I was dissolving. My vision started to get foggy, as if I was being pulled away. That was it then. She had fed, I was gone. Digested. Whatever was left wasn’t enough. 

“AAAARGH!” She yelled, putting her hands to fists and pounding both on my chest. I jumped on the floor, the sound of cracking evident even for my crumbling spirit. She grabbed my shoulders, rose me off the floor and bit me out of frustration: my neck, my chest, my left breast all leaving red, bloody bite marks… then she sniffed. Her eyes glowed in the dark, watching. A bit of bone was poking out of my chest. A rib bone. 

She pulled on it, lightly. The little whole it had made went a little wider. She smiled, poking one of her talons into it, carving it a little bigger. Even from afar I could feel it and I was at least glad to be dissolving. It would have hurt like a motherfucker. Her talons grew like snakes, like her tongue had as it came inside of me. They grew inside of me, going around my ribs, cutting through my muscles, going around my failing organs. 

Finally, they found my still heart. And grabbed. 

“Live, human.” She ordered and squeezed. 

And squeezed and squeezed. She kissed my barely open chest, all the way back to my lips and breathed for me. She was squeezing and breathing, squeezing and breathing, a dance my body used to know how to do on its own until she showed up. She kept it up, I don’t know for how long. I thought she would be able to do it, my consciousness was almost gone… 

And then, I was pulled back. Sucked inside myself. All I could hear was my heart, pounding on my ears. Then, I felt the pain. It was the worst thing I had ever felt. I felt like I was turned inside out. I wanted to puke, I wanted to die. 

Her hand was still around my heart. I could feel her talons almost puncturing it when she squeezed it and let it go, 100 times a minute. Each beat was another unbearable wave of pain. Her warm breaths that kept being pushed down to my lungs were no relief. But at some point, I heard myself gag and gasp. I heaved the most unhealthy breath I had ever breathed and immediately choked with the pain. She gave me more air and I tried to fight it, but she squeezed my heart harder until I yielded. This happened a couple more times. 

Finally, she must have been satisfied because she slipped her fingers out of me, leaving only the pain of her presence and a hole in my chest. 

I could feel her around me. She kissed my neck where my artery was, sucking on it until I whimpered in pain. She giggled, kissing my face, my closed eyes. She licked my tears right out of my face. 

“I’ll bring you home, with me.” She murmured and, even as broken and battered as I was, the prospect made my heart race. She was keeping me with her? 

Her strong arms lifted my suffering body off of the floor. My limp head fell back, but she carefully nestled it on her shoulder and kissed my forehead. She climbed on the bed, then the window, then we were gone, I’m not sure where. 

And it didn’t even matter anyway. 

[slashingdisneypasta]

Jim Bickerman x Reader || Oneshot

Plot: You pick up a stray, much to your roommate Reba’s frustrations.

Warnings: Mentions of a dead crocodile, post-crocodile dinner Jim (alive, though, obviously), mention of hospitals, drinking, some sexual references and- once again, unknown character from a movie no one cares about 😅

You’re exhausted. The day’s events, at what you can only describe as crystal lake on meth, had totally taken it out of you and all you can do as Reba drives you both away from the mess finally, is rest your forehead on the car window and stare outside. It’s a few good, peaceful minutes, before either of you attempt to make conversation.

“… I hate that place.” Reba speaks up, shaking her head when you lift yours off the glass for a moment to see her. “But- at least I got somethin’ out of it this time, eh?” She grins, gesturing with a thumb to the back of the truck- which is not taking the weight of the giant fucking dead croc she took as a souvenir and lulls heavily on the back wheels and dangerously close to the road. Its also why the truck is moving far slower, then usual.

You smirk, too tired to create an actual smile, before shaking your head back at her and returning your temple to the cool glass of the window. “Classy,”

“You know it.”

For a few more miles you drive silently, just putting yourselves back together after the hell-day almost getting eaten by giant motherfucker crocodiles. But then you catch sight of something on the side of the road ahead of you both. Lifting your head off the glass, you narrow your eyes and squint at it. What is that?? A pile of trash??

But… no… its moving.

When you get close enough to realise it’s a person, a terrible injured person, you jump fully off the truck door and hit the handle. “Reba! Stop!”

“What?!”

“Stop the truck! Right here!”

“Alright, alright, but what the hell are yo- … “When Reba catches sight of the lump on the side of the road that you’re freaking out about after stopping the vehicle, she freezes immediately. She focuses on it. Then narrows her eyes for a moment.

… then groans, dropping her head back on the back of her seat. “Bickerman.”

“What?” You whip your head around and squint at the, now much closer, lump. Bickerman? Jim Bickerman? That crazy guy from earlier?? You wondered what had happened to him…

“Jimmy. Yah. He musta gotten a little close to one a’ those monsters… “She presses her lips firmly together and shakes her head, almost sympathetic. But then- “Well, sucks to be him. Can we go?- “

“Wha- No, Reba! Come on, help me.” You exclaim, throwing the truck open on your side and hopping out- while she hangs back a moment longer in order to lament about having a bath.

Its not long before you have his more obvious wounds tied up tight and have got him semi-standing, leading - or more like carrying, seeing as he’s barely conscious, -  the old man to the truck. When Reba notices you’re heading to the seats, she gives a groan.

“I just got this truck… he’s gonna stain the seats!”

“Would you prefer to unload the croc in the back?” You ask, knowing the answer as you quickly assess the gaping hole in Jim’s face where one of his eyes used to be, wince and look away.

… Reba gives another groan. “No… “

“Great- now- help me!! I’m hauling deadweight, here, and he’s gonna fall.”

“Oh- shit!”

~

The ride to the nearest hospital is still about 45 minutes- in a truck that isn’t carrying a gazillion tons of dead crocodile. So its about an hour before you arrive, all the while you try to get Jim to stay semi-conscious.

“Hey- don’t fall asleep on me now, we just met!”

“Jim, what’s your middle name?”

“Think fast! What’s 3 times 12?”

“If you die now you won’t, uh… uh… do- do you like sports? You wont get to see the, um, the team win! The team, uh- that you like. That one. Wouldn’t that suck??”

Most of the time he just mumbled back, a little crazily, and you didn’t quite catch exactly what it was he said- but then he would have moments of clarity every 20 minutes or so. At some point his still-intact hand ended up on your thigh and he chuckled.

You just picked it up and squeezed it.

You didn’t put it down again until the doctors were wheeling him away.

~

“… yes he’ll be fine, but we’ve had to remove a foot entirely and he’s got a good amount of stitches. He’s going to need prosthetics and walking is going to be a struggle- he’s conscious now, though, would you like to see him?”

“Ye- “You’re about to nod and follow the doctor down the hall to Jim’s room, but Reba grabs your upper arm and yanks you away fast- which you didn’t see coming. “Hey! Why- ow- “

“Oh, no. Excuse us, doc.” Giving the doctor a wink, Reba guides you to a sidebar and lets you go in order to cross her arms and give you the most ‘what are you thinking??’ type of look you have ever seen. It honestly boggles you and you stand there with wide, confused eyes. Huh?? “We should not go see him.”

“Why not?”

“We already brought him here, we saved his life- which is nicer then we really needed to treat him. Now we can go home.”

“Just one visit won’t hurt… just to see how he’s going??”

“No- it will hurt! It’ll hurt me! You adopt every damn stray you find on the side of the road- we still have a chicken with anger issues that I cant get to leave our backyard.” Well, you think. That’s not fair- Terrence doesn’t have anger issues, he’s just passionate. And… he maybe thinks Reba is his hen. A fact you refuse to ever tell her… “And that malnourished sausage dog you brought home the other day keeps giving me ‘I’m gonna kill you in your sleep’ eyes.” Alright, Macadamia Nut does have some issues. “I can’t handle a grown ass man with crazy eyes, too.”

Giving a short laugh, you try to just brush away Reba’s insistence. “Don’t be silly, I’m not gonna adopt Jim.”

“Silly?? Oh- Look, you take one step towards that room, and I’ll leave you here Y/N! I’m not kidding, here!! I’m dead serious. look in my eyes, now.”

Instead of looking into Reba’s own crazy eyes, you hesitantly glance down the hall- towards the room the doctor went back into, and consider how expensive a cab would be from here.

… then you sigh, defeated. It would cost a fortune. “Fine… lets go home… “

Reba grins and pats your back, leading you out to the parking lot. “That’s what I thought.”

~

Its months later when Reba sees Jim next. You’re having a few drinks out with Reba after she got promoted to Sheriff when he walks by, sees you both, and wanders over. As soon as you see him your eyes widen, but you stay quiet- looking to Reba for her first moves.

… luckily, tequila makes her friendly. “Oh- Jimmy!! You’re alive, huh?? And walkin- that new foot treatin’ ya well??”

Jim’s good eye wanders to you, even as he exchanged small talk with Reba, a wonky grin on his haggard face, and you try to ignore him. “Good as it can, I guess.”

“And that hook! Man, how’re you signin’ check’s now?”

“Don’t get a whole lotta checks these days, I’m stayin’ away from the poaching business. Not like I can move as well as I useta, you know?” With this, he flicks at the hook in question like see? this is why. Then he goes right back to assessing you, setting his good hand on the back of your chair and leaning into it.

“Good call.” Reba winks, not seeming to notice his affections as she takes a shot of tequila. “You know what?? Siddown, Jim, drink with us! We’re celebratin’, afterall.”

Oh no. Jim gives a big grin at her, before taking the seat between you both. “Hm! Don’t mind if I do. Thanks for the kind offer.”

“No problem! Barkeep!!” Reba taps the table the 3 of you are sitting at quickly and turns to the bar- that’s quite close. She said it would be wise, this evening, to stick close to where the alcohol is kept. “Another round, please, for me, my quiet roommate, and our acquaintance.”

“I’m not quiet, Reba, I’m just not as drunk as you.” You lie, giggling and looking away when she points a stern finger at you. Instead of try to figure out what she means by that in her alcoholic language, you turn bravely to Jim instead. “So, how many drinks are you on? This is my second, and Reba… I think that’s her 6th coming now- I think.”

“7th! Gimmie some credit.”

“Oookay.” You agree, before showing Jim 6 fingers when Reba looks away towards her coming tequila sunrise. Its 6.

He winks, at least you think it’s a wink, and gives a rough-looking grin. “I haven’t started yet, actually, but I do think I can do better then that. And I can get you drinkin’ some more, too.”

“I have to be the responsible one around here. No, you can’t.”

“We’ll see, honey, we’ll see. After all~… we did finish my stash last night together. Oh, maybe that’s got somethin’ to do with you goin’ slow??” His grin is now utterly mischievous as your eyes widen and Reba turns slowly to the two of you again. No! Why! She wasn’t supposed to know, Jim!- Squinting, she tries to pull her thoughts together.

“You… wait, what do you mean you finished a stash together last night?? You’re not supposed to… you haven’t been… “ As you shrink down into your seat a little, Reba turns fully to you. “You went back to the hospital!??”

“Yes.” The word comes out more like a ‘y’ sound followed consecutively by an ‘s’ sound rather than a full word as you avoid her eyes and attempt to disappear.

“How many times!?” She exclaims, mind boggled.

“Just… a couple… of times… “You shrug, helplessly.

“Regularly. My sweet pumpkin here visited me regularly- didn’t ya sweetheart?” At this remark, you give Jim a wuthering glare- though, you don’t really mean it and he knows that as he shrugs and turns around quietly to order himself a beer.

“I cannot believe it- You’re dating this creep?? That’s where you’ve been all those nights?? Damn- “ As you sit there and listen to her, she picks up another tequila shot and downs it. She seems to calm, after that, wrapping her mind around this. Or, resign herself as she pours herself another shot. “I was hopin’ it was drugs, honestly, easier to swallow.”

This is the part where Jim wants to jump back in, a joke about swallowing on the tip of his tongue but you stop him quickly with a raised finger. “Nope- drink your beer.”

Chuckling, he obediently raises the cold beer to his mouth. “If you insist~ … “

“Ugh,” After taking a sip of the tequila straight out the bottle and shaking her head, Reba gets up from the table. “I’m- I’m gonna need somethin’ harder than this. Be right back. And- do me a favour? Get out all your gross, couple-y affections, while I’m gone, will ya? Thanks. I don’t needa be seein’ that.”

As Reba walks the short distance away to the bar, you quickly take the opportunity to turn and just raise your eyebrows at Jim. Expectantly. Like,… so?? What is up? What was that? Are you out of your mind???

… he just shrugs, still beyond amused at the chaos he created. “What?”

 Slowly, a devious smirk slides across your lips. “Ahhh- I get it.”

“What? What do you get?” That sobers him, as he lowers the beer bottle to the table and frowns at you.

“You’re secretly kinda sweet, huh?”

“Why do you say that?”

“Now we don’t have to hide from Reba.” You explain, picking up your own drink. “We can be together more, now. Don’t have to hide out in your cabin. I see what you did.”

Jim sputters, actually sputters, looking wide eyed and surprised at your allegation. “N- No no no, that’s not that I was doing. I was just trynta, uhh… “

“Very cute.”

“Excuse me, miss. I did not- “

“Okay.”

Jim stops, levels with you, and looks just a devious. “Hold on- what are we doing, here?”

“I'm teasing you for having it so so bad, for me??”

“Your friend said to get out all our gross, couple-y affections while she was gone. I think we still have some time… why dontcha give daddy some sugar, hm?”