#so i better let go these feelings before i explode and throw my pc out of the window or something | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mssjynx · 4 years ago

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dreamnap oneshot 3687 words warnings: steamy!! ao3 link

“Sapnap. Don’t send it.”

Dream’s warning voice held a lot more threat than usual coming through Nick’s headset, and he suspected it was because the two now shared a house. He was all too aware of his friend’s presence only two doors down, and had it just been the two of them, Nick probably would have already given in and saved himself an ass kicking. Dream was a noticeable few inches taller than him, and definitely stronger though Nick would never admit it outloud.

Nick was good at picking his fights.

Or he was, usually.

But with Dream in one ear, and Quackity, George and Karl in the other, he was tiptoeing the line of a very pissed off Dream. The three idiots had been egging him on for the past half hour, begging him to send the video since the moment he’d mentioned having it. And he wasn’t actually going to send it, he just really enjoyed stirring Dream up and he knew the other three found it just as funny.

“Sapnap! Sapnap! Sapnap!” Karl’s chanting overlapped the other two voices, Alex making odd monkey sounds as George laughed himself into hysterics.

“Send it, Sap! You have to show us, you have to.” George’s words were gasped out between wheezes in his comically high-pitched voice that appeared whenever he was losing his mind laughing at something.

Nick knew that if any of them laid their eyes on the video, they would never ever get over it.

He’d captured the valuable video the night prior when Dream had overslept an alarm that he’d set for a recording session with the Among Us crowd. When Nick had crept in there to wake him up, a task he dreaded after the first time he’d done it and successfully pissed Dream off for two full days, he had been met with a sight he never thought he’d see. It was too good to resist flicking out his phone and capturing the moment.

Dream had been splayed out across the bed, three pillows tucked under his back and his head tipped back off the mattress entirely. A trail of dried drool stained his cheek and his slack mouth was releasing a mix of whistling snores and little snuffling sounds as he slept. His fourth pillow was clutched to his chest in a grip that made Nick feel bad for it, white knuckles making Nick gulp as he crept back out of the room and returned to his Discord call to pass on the disappointing news.

He had intended to keep the video to himself, locked away in his phone for a later day of humiliation. He hadn’t intended that later day to be the day following but he made the mistake of mentioning the beautiful video and it had all gone downhill from there.

Karl, George and Alex were relentless when they wanted something, and to say they wanted to see this video was a huge understatement.

“We need to see it, Sapnap, it’s worth the risk! It’s worth it!” Alex pleaded.

“The risk!?” Nick snorted, offended by the lack of care. “I’m gonna get my teeth kicked in, Quackity! The risk is my impending death.”

“It’s worth it, it’s worth it!”

“Vouch!”

Karl and Alex were a terrible influence on each other.

“Guys, Dream’s scawy,” Sapnap said, hoping his baby “uwu” voice would soften Dream’s heart. He knew that whether he sent it or not, Dream was going to kill him for taking it in the first place.

“You haven’t seen ‘scary’,” Dream muttered and Nick shot a weary glance to the door of his office. There wasn’t even a lock.

George whined, adding his own baby voice to the mix, and Sapnap could practically see the stupid pout he was wearing when he begged, “Please, Sap. He won’t actually kill you!”

Dream’s scoff was dry and humourless, “Oh, I will,” and Nick could hear the exhaustion that layered his irritation. He’d been up for over twenty hours editing his upcoming video and keeping the guys company in their streams. He knew that Dream was ready to collapse into bed the second he could, but the risk of his pride held enough weight to keep him upright for the time being.

Nick almost felt bad for him, except he remembered the horrific photo that Dream had shared with their chat less than a month earlier.

This was only payback; well, it would be if Nick was actually going to send it. But he was better than that, he was the bigger man and he also valued having all of his teeth and an unbroken nose.

With a sigh, he reached to click delete on the keyboard to remove the video from the textbox. The ominous ‘Sapnap is typing…’ that sat at the bottom of all of their screens had only added to the excitement (and anger), but he knew that they’d had their fun and it was over. When he tried to snatch up his water bottle at the same time, his device unbalanced in his fingers and the thunk of it hitting the carpet was accompanied by the little “shwoop” sound of a message sending.

Every voice except Dream’s exploded in the call and Nick froze in his chair.

“Oh god,” he whispered, dropping his bottle and scrambling for his phone. “Oh, no, no, no- I didn’t- It was an accident, I dropped my-” His voice was drowned out by Karl and Alex’s cheering, hysterical laughter pouring from George’s end. Dream’s icon vanished from the call and the slam of a door opening reached Nick’s ears.

Dream’s footsteps were loud and angry.

“Guys, guys, GUYS!” His bedroom door burst open and Nick threw off his headphones, ripping the cord from his PC as he stumbled out of his chair. The look on Dream’s face made Nick genuinely fear for his life as he backed up away from Dream.

“Oh my God, he’s so cuuuute!” Karl cooed. George howled with laughter.

Nick had messed up. He had royally screwed himself, and today was the day he was going to die. “Dream, Clay. It was an accident, I was going to delete it and I dropped my phone and- I wasn’t actually going to send it, I swear. I promise. Pinky promise? What if we hug and make up?” Words tumbled off his tongue with panicked desperation but Nick knew a losing fight when he saw it. “Dream?” he tried weakly when Dream stepped forward, but the stoic glare didn’t shift.

He could hear Alex calling Dream’s name, futile attempts at rescuing Nick from certain death. But the laughter that drowned him out only sealed his fate.

He was completely and totally done.

Dream lunged for him and an embarrassingly high-pitched scream ripped from Nick’s throat. He bolted to the bed, clambering over the mattress with his eyes on the open door. But his chances were shot when a rough hand grabbed his ankle, yanking him backwards and off balance. His face slammed into the mattress, cutting off his yelp, and he barely managed to squirm over onto his back before Dream pounced.

“You’re done, Nick,” Dream snarled, and Nick knew that it was his turn to be mortified. He caught Dream by the upper arms, straining as he kept Dream’s hands just inches away from his own shoulders and face. “You’re such an asshole, I told you not to send it!”

“I told you,” Nick gasped, his arms aching as he turned his face away from Dream’s clawing fingers, “I didn’t mean to!”

Dream growled, glaring down at Nick for a second before spitting: “Liar.” and throwing his weight to the side. Nick lost his grip and within seconds Dream had hooked an arm around his back, pinning Nick’s head between his arm and his ribs. The wrestling training Sapnap did back in middle school leapt to the front of his mind as he got his arms around Dream’s middle and tried to push him back. They both grunted and yelped, jabbing fingers into sensitive spots and cursing as they wrestled and fought.

From the computer, the other three were cheering them on, placing bets back and forth. Except they were all betting on Dream and Nick couldn’t even blame them as he scrambled on top of Dream’s back for half a second before he was thrown off.

A jab to his stomach knocked all the air out of him and in seconds he was flat on his back with his arms pinned either side of his head. He gasped for air, face hot and red from exertion as he blinked his dizzy eyes up at Dream.

He made a weak attempt at getting one leg between him and Dream, hoping to plant a foot to his chest and shove him back, but Dream shoved his knee down into the muscle of Nick’s thigh and a shot of pain at the pressure cut his escape attempt off.

The grin on his face made Nick’s head spin faster, though he didn’t know whether it was fear or adrenaline that flipped his stomach like a pancake.

“Dead,” Clay declared, proud and smug as if it was at all a fair fight. He was six foot two for Heaven’s sake.

“Shut up, you’re such a dick,” Nick spat, craning his head off the mattress. The grip on his wrists tightened and Dream pressed them harder into the mattress, leaning his weight into his knee. Nick yelped in pain, wriggling in a weak attempt of dislodging his roommate.

Dream scoffed. “Shouldn’t have sent the video, should you?” His sneer was twisted with a satisfied grin and Nick would have been relieved to see that he was more smug than angry if that smile didn’t trigger every fear sensor in Nick’s body.

“Well, look- Ow- You got me now, so… you don’t have to, uh, kill me or anything! Wouldn’t want you to go to prison now,” he says, awkward chuckle leaving his lips. He hears Karl and George lose it from the computer speakers, quiet but distinct enough to heighten Nick’s irritation. They weren’t helping him at all.

“No chance.” Dream narrowed his eyes. “I want some sort of compensation. You have to let me post whatever I want from your twitter,” and the crooked grin he wore told Nick that his revenge would be far worse than the five second video of Dream snoring.

“No way,” he said, shaking his head and yanking on his arms. The taller man leaned his weight onto his wrists and Nick gave up on fighting. “Get off me, Dream.”

They both ignored the three amigos cheering in the background, this time for Nick’s demise.

Two-faced assholes...

“What’s your password, Nick,” Dream asked, cocking his head to the side with his sly grin. He was, humiliatingly, completely at Dream’s mercy and his stomach twisted at the thought.

It was definitely the first time that they’d been so close to each other; Nick had never been able to see this much detail in Dream’s face. For a moment, he got distracted by the little scar that marred the right side of Clay’s top lip, wondering when and how he’d gotten it. When his lips twitched down into a confused frown, Nick snapped back into the moment with the realisation that he’d been staring at Dream’s mouth.

He snapped his focus back up to Dream’s eyes, unable to miss the way his brows were creased with thought, and pushed a defensive snarl onto his own mouth as he glared up at Dream. “It’s not happening,” he said bluntly, hoping the embarrassed red of his cheeks could be passed off from their wrestling.

Dream’s frown deepened with annoyance. “What’s your password, Nick?” he repeated, pressing his thumb hard into the inside of Nick’s wrist. He watched Nick’s face with an intensity that definitely hadn’t been there a moment ago, murky green eyes flickering over Nick’s features as searching for something specific.

“Kill him! Kill him! Kill him!”

“George, you dick!”

“He’s from Florida, man! He’ll do it!”

The pressure on Nick’s inner wrist made him grimace and when Nick forced out a rough: “No, Clay,” he squeezed the other wrist harder, pinching the skin. The jolt of pain mixed with the tingle in his fingertips; Nick sucked in a deep breath and bit down hard on his bottom lip as he desperately tried to think of a way out of this situation.

His train of thought was slammed to a stop when Dream’s eyes snapped down to Nick’s mouth like a magnet, time screeching to a neck-breaking halt. For a moment, neither of them moved. Dream’s grip loosened on Nick’s wrist but he didn’t even consider moving away, unable to focus on anything other than Dream’s gaze locked on his mouth and his own heartbeat slamming in his chest, in his throat, in his head.

His lip slipped out from between his teeth, and out of reflex, he flicked his tongue to soothe the sting, and he could not ignore the way Dream sucked in a breath sharply through his teeth. Nick watched his pupils swell and he couldn’t say anything about Dream’s pink cheeks because he knew his own were just as warm.

And then it was like a flip was switched. Dream clenched his jaw, eyes flicking back up to Nick’s with a clarity that caught him off guard. “Fine,” Dream said, voice low and even. He stuck his tongue in his cheek for a moment of thought, and Nick tried desperately to keep up with the hidden thoughts behind Dream’s eyes. “Have it your way.”

Those words ran through Nick’s mind just once, before one wrist was released. Before he could even think to make his escape, rough fingers caught him by the jaw, tipping Nick’s head back as a grin flashed over Dream’s lips.

Then those lips were on Nick’s.

Dream kissed him and he kissed him hard, sinking his teeth into Nick’s bottom lip without waiting for a response. The jolt of pain dragged a grunt from Nick’s mouth, and he pressed it up against Dream’s, allowing the thumb on his chin to drag his lips apart. Clay kissed him hard and deep and hot and Nick gave it back just as rough and unforgiving.

His free hand jumped to the back of Dream’s head, threading fingers through loose blonde hair as he tilted his head up into the kiss. He craned his head up off the mattress, nipping at Dream’s tongue when it flicked his top lip. With a fistful of hair in his hand, he smirked into the kiss and yanked hard, dragging Clay’s mouth off him so he could gasp in a breath of air.

It was only a moment before Dream caught Nick by the wrist, shoving his hand back down into the mattress. Except this time, he slipped his fingers up, interlocking them with Nick’s as he kissed him. He pressed his tongue past Nick’s lips, growling at the sharp bites Nick delivered in return.

He’d forgotten about Clay’s knee on his thigh until the pressure vanished, Dream instead using his knee to push Nick’s leg to the side. It only felt natural to drag his knee up, dragging his ankle along the backside of Dream’s legs and pulling on the back of his thigh.

Even when they were kissing, they were fighting. Nick tried to press up against Dream, squirming and yanking on his wrists all the while trying to chase Dream’s tongue back into his own mouth. “Dream,” he growled when the Clay once again blocked Nick’s tongue, shoving his head back down against the mattress.

“Shut up,” Dream snarled, shifting his knee up the mattress between Nick’s legs. It wasn’t close enough and Nick’s underwear was too tight and too hot for him to handle. He bit back an irritated whine, and blushed at the smirk on Dream’s face.

“You’re such a dick,” Nick bit, squirming when Dream put both of his wrists together and with one hand, held them both down. His other hand caught Nick by the jaw as he scanned the Texan boy’s flushed face and kiss-worried lips, holding him still despite how Nick shifted and fought, wanting to get his hands on Dream’s shoulders, in his shirt, in his hair.

He was frustratingly intoxicating and Nick could not get enough. Dream who smelt like heat, like sweat and aftershave. Dream who dug his fingertips into Nick’s jaw and chin, grinning while he tilted Nick’s head back so he could kiss him deeper.

The tongue that pressed into Nick’s mouth was hot and greedy as it teased his own, and Nick could feel the smug glee that oozed from the man above him. “Takes one to know one,” he whispered against Nick’s cheek, before pushing Nick’s head all the way back and dropping his mouth to the curve of his throat.

Somewhere in the back of Sapnap’s head, he registered that he could still hear the other boys. Their conversation, the video, the fight; it felt so much further away with Dream’s tongue abseiling down his neck, and numbly he wondered if the boys had forgotten they were there.

The sweet trail of kisses that crept up the side of his neck were followed by a sharp bite to the skin just below Nick’s ear, and he couldn’t stop the cry from spilling from his mouth. Grinning lips and a cruel tongue smothered the stinging pain as Nick groaned; words of: “Fuck you, that hurt,” being followed by a moan he couldn’t bite back when Clay’s hand disappeared from his jaw and reappeared between his legs, pressing flat to Nick’s straining arousal. The flush of pleasure that wasn’t quite enough dragged a helpless whimper from his tongue as Nick tried to grind up into the touch only to have it vanish altogether. “Clay-” he moaned at the greedy sucking on his neck, loud and desperate and without a touch of shame. “Fuck, touch me- Please,” he gasped.

And that right there was his second screw up of the night.

“Woah, WHAT!?”

“FUCK, no, my ears!”

“Oh God, oh no, that’s- they’re not fighting anymore, that’s not fighting!”

The clamour of voices exploded from Nick’s computer, their previous quiet conversation completely forgotten as all three men’s heads were undoubtedly flooded with scenes they didn’t want to imagine, ever.

Dream vanished from on top of Nick within seconds, bolting to the computer as Nick scrambled to sit upright. His face was burning hot and he could barely catch his breath as he watched Dream smack a few buttons on the computer before rounding on him.

His own cheeks were flushed bright red and the look of alarm would have made Nick laugh had their situation not been as embarrassing as it was for the both of them. “You didn’t mute your mic!?” Dream demanded and Nick stared back at him in disbelief.

“What, was I supposed to anticipate that!?” he snapped back, squirming under Dream’s dirty look. He was still embarrassingly turned on from their… activities, and he had no idea what was even going to happen now.

They were best friends who lived together, not horny teenagers who jumped each other when they got a little bit worked up!

Dream rubbed his face with his hands, taking a deep breath and holding it. After a second of silence, he let it out with an exhausted laugh, shaking his head as he lifted it to look back over at Nick. “Well, that’s going to be an uncomfortable conversation,” he said simply, and Nick couldn’t help but laugh as well. What else was there to do?

“At least they weren’t streaming,” he offered and Dream snickered at the thought, tapping a few more buttons until the screen went black. Nick dropped back onto the mattress, hands on his face as he took a few breaths. His heart was still racing like crazy, and the pressure between his legs was starting to ache.

When he pushed back up onto his forearms, dropping a hand to readjust himself as he lifted his gaze to Dream. Sharp, green eyes were locked on him, more specifically his hand, which paused in its movements under the intense stare.

Nick watched with bated breath as a small smile twisted Dream’s lips, eyes dragging up over Nick as if considering all the things he could do to him. Wondering what was going through Clay’s head made Nick’s stomach drop and head spin. Dream slowly returned to the edge of the bed and Nick sat up further, unsure if he felt more scared of excited by the look in Clay’s eyes. He moved to drag his legs back towards him, but before he could get very far, Dream’s hands were locking onto his ankles, one hard pull dragging Nick to the edge of the mattress.

He tipped his head back to look up at Dream, biting his tongue when Dream cupped his cheek, running his thumb along his bottom lip.

“That’s an issue for another day,” Dream said, wetting his lip with his tongue as he tipped Nick’s head back further. He shifted back, arms barely holding him up as he tilted his head away from Dream’s hand.

“Oh yeah?” he asked, a nervous laugh dropping from his mouth as he scooted back further.

Dream nodded, grin unfazed as he crawled onto the mattress. A hand to Nick’s chest pushed him back onto the mattress, another hand sliding up the inside of Nick’s leg. “Yeah,” Dream said, ghosting his fingers over the front of his sweats and watching Nick bite back a whimper. “Kinda busy right now.” He dipped down, capturing Nick’s mouth in another kiss; this one sweeter and softer than any of their others. He coaxed a soft sound from Nick’s throat, sucking his bottom lip and drawing his tongue out to flick against his own.

“Busy?” Nick gasped when Dream pulled back for a breath, both hands falling to the waistband on Nick’s sweatpants.

“Yeah,” he said with a sly grin, “Really busy.”

#dreamnap #dream #sapnap #fic #fanfic #steamy fic #this is the first and closest thing ive written to smut #in literally 9 months #so #go easy on me but let me know what u think- i know its messy #but i tried my best and i like it :)

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willddheartt · 4 years ago

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30 Days | Wilbur Soot

30 days to fall in love with someone? Sounds easy right?

It would be if that person wasn’t so unbelievably annoying in almost every sense.

You’re not sure how you found yourself in this situation, but you were positive there was no backing out now…

Series Warnings: Mostly fluff and angst, and a very poorly constructed enemies to lovers plot.

Word Count: 1892

Masterlist Series Masterlist 30 Days The beginning

You sighed, staring at the black screen of your PC waiting for it to light up. After last night, you didn’t even want to log on, but you knew if you avoided it now, it would just cause more hassle in the long run.

The monitors light up with your bright coloured backgrounds and the PC itself emitted many colours of the rainbow. Opening Discord, you started a message with Wilbur.

Did you hear? You type, clicking through a few channels as you awaited his response.

Yeah, how’d this come about? his message read

Your head shook as you typed and you ran a hand through your hair, pushing it back and out of your face, I don’t know. Hop in a VC and we can discuss better?

You pulled on your headset, waiting for the call to come through, what you weren’t expecting was for Wilbur to video call you. You had just got out of bed before logging on and didn’t even have any makeup on and you were still in your cropped top and sleep bottoms. Quickly pulling the fuzzy blanket you kept on the back of your chair around your shoulders you answered the call.

“Hey,” You answered with a sigh, setting your head in your hand. “Hi,” He said, monotone. “What’s he got on you?” You asked “My home address and credit card information, stuff like that. And you?” You sighed, knowing if you told the truth he might think even lower of you than he already did. “Same thing and like some stupid stuff I did in high school,” Wilburs expression changed from annoyed to something you couldn’t read, “What did you do?” “Relax,” You sighed, “It’s nothing like terrible, terrible.” “Do you not want to tell me?” He sat back in his chair “I’d rather not,” You mumbled, “I don’t need you thinking lower of me than you already do.” “Fine,” Wilbur sighed, “Do you want to talk about how we’re going to do this or not?” You nodded

“What do you think the best approach would be?” You asked, sitting up and pulling your leg up. “Well obviously, I think we should outline what the rules are.” “Okay,” You nodded pulling up a note, “So we’re supposed to be dating right?” You asked, Wilbur, nodded. “So we should act like a couple,” You said as you typed out “What about how we act on and off camera?” Wil asked “What about it?” You asked, “On camera, we act so madly in love the fans won’t even question it, off-camera we can not speak or whatever we do now.” Wil shook his head, “I think to get the best performance we’d have to truly play into this and act on and off camera.” You threw your head back, “Really?” You asked “Do you truly hate me that much, Y/N?”

“Well no, it’s just I’d rather not.” “Too bad, it’s already written.” You sighed, “Fine.” “Do you think we should tell our friends about the whole situation or just leave it as we’re a couple?” You asked “Leave them out of the blackmail part, they could slip up.” You nod agreeing.

After twenty minutes of back and forth, you devised a list of rules doe the month.

They were as follows:

Must act like a couple on and off camera

Must act like a couple at all times

Every week doing things that couples would do (i.e. dates, movie nights, going out to dinner)

Must post announcing you’re together, on Twitter Instagram or in a stream.

Can only tell friends about you being together

And you must see each other regularly.

If either of you failed to do one of these things you immediately owe the other person $50

Wilbur was still on call with you after the list was created, you ended up talking about how you think the blackmailer got your information. Both of you were in the dark.

Your roommate came in, interrupting your conversation, “Hey, Y/N, Wanna come with me to pick up food?” She asked stopping dead in her tracks when she saw Wilbur on your monitor. You nodded, “Just give me a second here,” She waved as she exited the room. “Sorry about that, Wil,” You said turning back to the camera. “Seems I’ve got to go, but we can talk more about this when I get back if you’d like.” Wilbur nodded, “It was nice talking to you, love.”

The pet name caught you off guard, you looked at Wilbur, who had the most shit-eating grin on his face you’d ever seen. “What?” He asked, tilting his head, “We have to start somewhere, thought now would be a good time.” You sighed, “ill talk to you later Wilbur.”

You ended the call and let your head fall into your hands.

Man, this was going to be a long month.

“Sorry about earlier.” Your roommate said once you walked out of your room You shook your head, “Don’t worry about it, it was only Wilbur,” “Wilbur?” She asked, “Don’t you, like, hate him?” “Hate is a strong word,” You sighed. “I think I’ve had a change of heart about him.”

You got home to messages from Wilbur asking if you wanted to stream with him tonight to make your announcement, you grabbed a drink and something to eat and got ready to stream. This time you were able to get ready to be on camera. You did your makeup, simple winged eyeliner nothing too extravagant, and you put on a cute top, but kept on your pyjama bottoms.

Are you setting up stream? You messaged Wilbur

Yeah, are you ready? He replied within seconds

Ready as I’ll ever be.

This time you called Wilbur, he picked up within seconds. “I know this is only fake but im nervous,” You blurted out. Wilbur nodded, “Me too,” “How do you think the fans will react?” You asked “Honestly?” You nodded, “I think the overall reaction will be good.” “What about the ones that aren’t?” You were picking at your fingers, a nervous habit, “I don’t want to get death threats and that kind of thing,” You frowned. “I’ll take care of it,” Wil said, his words brought you a sense of peace, and you waited for him to start streaming.

As he welcomed everyone to the stream, you weren’t on screen yet. You had a few moments to take in his appearance. He was wearing a nice white button-down, and it looked like he tried to do something with his hard but failed and just let it slump in its natural half curly-half wavy state on his forehead. You smiled at him as he kept trying to shake the hair out of his eyes but it refused to move.

“Well, chat,” He started, “There is someone very important to me that I’d like to introduce you to.” As he spoke you could feel the knots in your stomach, nervous for him to finally show your face cam on stream. “Now, you probably already know them but,” He paused, working things out to be able to show your cam on stream, “Y/N and I would like to tell you something,” He said, and your face popped up on his stream, you waved to the chat. “Y/N, would you like to do the honours?” He asked with a smirk “I guess so,” You put on the biggest smile you could muster before it looked fake and forced, “Chat,” You said. “Wil and I are dating!” You announced and he cheered. The chat exploded with hearts and Pogs, of course, there were the normal hate comments, but those were almost drowned out by all the emotes.

“Okay now, I don’t want to see anybody hating on Y/N, Okay?” Wilbur said in a stern voice, looking directly at the camera, “Mods if you can, keep it out of the chat. And chat, keep it off the social media, Okay?” He waited for responses in the chat to roll through before continuing, “If you haven't got anything nice to say, let’s not say it alright?” You nodded along with him, secretly admiring how adamant he was about keeping the hate away, you knew Wilbur was the type of gut to do that but you didn't think he'd do it for you, especially where the two of you weren't even truly together.

“Okay, so Y/N and I here, didn’t really talk about what we were going to do on here, we just wanted to announce the news, but I guess we’ll stick around and answer a few questions for about an hour, hows that sound?” You nodded, “That sounds good to me. Chat if you have any questions to ask us, about our relationship or just personally send them in the chat or whatever you’d like to do.

You and Wilbur sat on stream for close to an hour talking to the chat and receiving many donations asking questions and answering the chat, they seemed to love that the two of you were ‘together’. You read a few things saying “Enemies to lovers? POG” in the chat that made you laugh to yourself, telling Wil you’d tell him later when he asked what was so funny.

Truthfully, you didn’t hate Wilbur as much as you’ve convinced yourself you have. Sometimes the acting and just messing around on the SMP got blurry in your mind, a lot of the things you found revolting about him were things his character had done for the sake of plot development.

Wilbur finally ended the stream, you both said bye to chat and he went off. “That went well, don't you think?” He asked, sighing as soon as the stream was over. “I think it was good, their reaction seemed to be positive.” You sat back in your chair. “What did you find so funny in the chat?” He asked, throwing an arm behind his head as he leaned back in his chair. You giggled as you thought about it again, “I saw some people saying ‘enemies to lovers? Pog’ in the chat and I thought it was really funny.” “I mean, they're technically not wrong.” You rolled your eyes, looking down at the time in the corner of your monitor.

It was late. Almost three am.

“Hey, I’ll talk to you tomorrow Wil, alright? I should go to bed soon.” Wil nodded, “Talk to you tomorrow, Y/N, sleep well.” He smiled as he hit the end call button.

You sat in your dimly lit room in complete silence, other than the noise of the fans in your PC. You couldn’t believe you had to do this for a month. You truly wondered how you could do this, it was only day one and you wanted to crawl out of your skin and wash off the feeling that he gave you. In your act you could see how you might be able to fall for him, but once the call ended and you were snapped back to reality, you wished to take the hottest and longest shower in the word and wash the feeling of him away, watch the dirt slide down the drain and out of your mind.

“You can do this. It's only a month,” You whispered to yourself.

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supernaturallyobsessedchic · 5 years ago

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Littlest Winchester - Part 2

[this gif makes me laugh]

Part 2 – Typhoid Mary

Summary: Sapphire is sick while her dad and uncle are out on a hunt. She thinks she’s well enough to help find Jack.

Warnings: sick OC reader, puking, tooth rotting fluff.

a/n: Reader/Sapphire: 11 years old; Set during Season: 13

a/n #2: Figured I’d write a fluffy fic for Jen @supernatural-jackles one of my favorite fan fic authors on this platform, and one of a few who have inspired me to write, hopefully this helps put a smile on your face and feel all warm and fuzzy. :3

When she woke up, it was later than usual. But Dean and Sam left a note for her for when she did wake up.

Hey Blue,

Uncle Sammy and I are helping Cas on a case that might involve Jack. If you could look up some stuff on the case that would be much appreciated. Sam left you his laptop in the library.

Call me if you find anything. Love you Princess.

- Dad

She could feel pressure in her head, her nose stuffy and runny, her eyes even itched a bit. They felt watery. And she had a pretty nasty cough. But she felt fine enough to sit and chill out at the computer all day to help her dad on the case.

She made herself a hot chocolate, warming up some milk, tossing in some marshmallows. She went into the library ready to go.

The case was a bust, no sign of Jack. Cas left to see if Heaven could help. Sam and Dean rented out a motel for the night, ready to leave for the bunker in the morning.

Her coughing fits got worse as the day progressed. Her headache got to the point it has made her cry. A constant fill in pressure, her eyes felt like they were gonna explode and if she couldn’t smell a thing. Her stomach decided to add to the torment and not agree with her, period.

Her stomach did a flip after said coughing fit. She leapt from her seat running for the nearest bathroom. Only to make it to the trashcan in the kitchen. Puking whatever contents in her stomach there was. Brushing it aside, she not only brought the trashcan with her, she headed back to the library, sat at Sam’s laptop and got back at it.

Sam had gone to bed early, Dean was looking at cases involving Jack. And then his phone rang. It was Sapphire.

“Hey Blue, found anything?” Dean asked.

“No, nothing.” She said. Her voice sounding rough, and clearly sick.

“You sound awful, you okay?” Dean asked.

“It’s just a cold, I’m fine, I’ll live.” She said.

“Don’t lie to me baby, you know what I said about that?” Dean said knowingly.

She sighed.

“My head feels like it’s gonna split in two, my nose is stuffed up, my throat hurts, and I threw up…twice.” She says.

“Alright.” Dean goes. powering down his laptop. Getting up to wake up Sam. “I’m waking up Sam and we’re leaving, now.” Dean says. “I’ll be home soon.” He adds.

As he nudges Sam’s shoulder harshly, waking him. “What Dean?” He goes, annoyed.

He points to his phone.

“No, Daddy, I’m fine. I made it this long being sick.” She says.

“We’ll hand whatever case to another capable hunter, right now, my daughter is sick. And I’m heading home to help her.” He says. “Now, power down Sam’s laptop, and get to bed.” He tells her.

“Okay daddy.” She says. Sounding tired and exhausted.

“You’ll be better in no time.” He says. Before exchanging I love you’s and hanging up.

“How bad?” Sam asked as he got dressed.

“I won’t know until I take her temp, she says she’s got a headache, stuffy nose and she puked a couple times.” Dean says.

“Sounds like the flu.” Sam goes.

“Maybe.” Dean agrees. “But, let’s get going.” Dean urges. Having already packed his stuff and is loading the impala.

She sat in the library, too tired to even move. She just closed out of the databases that were being used to find Jack, and opened up Google Chrome and began watching Markiplier on YouTube.

Her dad must have been speeding or was not that far from Lebanon, Dean came walking down the halls after dropping his bags off to his room and not seeing Sapphire in her room, he headed to the library. He saw her sitting at the table, on Sam’s laptop, watching a dude playing a video game. His antics making his daughter giggle.

“Hey baby girl.” He says upon entering.

“Hi daddy.” She said. She sounded weak and exhausted.

“I’ll have Sam get this laptop hooked up in your room, but let’s get you to bed.” He says.

He works her into his arms, and he carry’s her effortlessly to her room. She had dozed right off in his arms.

He lays her down gently, so as to not upset her stomach. He moves her heavy blankets to her feet, leaving her in the sheet blanket. He heads to the bathroom grabbing the thermometer. Coaxing her awake enough to get it in her mouth.

After a few minutes Dean pulled it out.

104.

Most fever reducers have doses made for kids 12 and over. Sapphire just turned 11. She’s still a bit young to be taking that kind of medicine. Sam decided to make a run to a nearby Pharmacy, grabbing a kid friendly fever reducer for kids 12 and under.

Dean gave her, her first dose. He grabs one of her chairs in her room, an oversized bean bag chair, and sat next to her bedside, keeping watch over her.

Sapphire slept soundly despite her symptoms. She woke up to her father, sleeping in the bean bag chair, holding her hand.

She still felt sick, but at least she didn’t feel like throwing up.

She wiped her eyes with her free hand. Waking her father.

“Hey Princess, how you feeling?” He asks. Gently brushing her hair from her eyes with his free hand.

“Egh.” She groans.

“Still crappy, huh?” he asks. she nods.

“Well then, we’re taking off today to take care of you.” He says, getting up.

“I’ll have Sam go get us some soup, crackers, meds, the works.” He says. “You just rest up in bed. ‘Kay?” he goes.

“Okay.” She says. How can she argue when she feels this sick?

And Dean goes to the kitchen to tell Sam exactly what he told her, and with that Sam is out buying canned soup, meds, and Dean is disinfecting the bunker.

“Dean, I have news.” Cas says, entering the kitchen.

“It’ll have to wait Cas.” Dean says.

“What are you doing?” Cas says, looking confused.

None of the Winchester brothers ever got sick, and Sapphire hardly ever got sick. But ever since she started up with school after summer break, it just popped up out of nowhere.

“Just disinfecting the bunker so no one catches whatever she’s got, miss Typhoid Mary in there.” Dean jokes, half kiddingly. Pointing to Sapphire’s room.

“It’s just the cold Dean, it’s not all that contagious.” Cas says knowingly. Causing Dean to look unamused at the angel.

“I’m not taking chances Cas, just go on your lead on Jack, I’ll have Sam help you when he can, ‘kay.” Dean says. “But I’m staying here with my girl, making sure she gets better.” Dean says.

Cas nods. “Very well Dean, I’ll call if anything changes.” He says.

“Sounds good Cas.” Dean says.

After cooking the soup, Dean enters her room, seeing her watching YouTube again.

“Why not just ask uncle Sammy to get you a console, and some games and play these yourself?” Dean asked, as he sat her dinner tray near her on her bed.

“These are PC games Dad, I’d need a gaming computer.” She says.

“We’ll get that too.” Dean says.

“Dad, it’s fine. I like watching it. it’s funny seeing him fail.” She says giggling at Mark failing at FNAF Help Wanted VR. “’Sides, I’d be cheating.” She says pointing at the video.

“Yeah, I guess.” Dean says. Just not getting it, how she finds that entertaining.

“Mind if I hang out with and watch?” he asks.

Might as well see what all the fuss is about though. He thought.

“Sure. If you don’t think Typhoid Mary here’s gonna get you sick.” She says, eyeing him. Making him chuckle.

“I was just joking around with Cas.” Dean says, setting in behind her. kissing the top of her head. “I love you baby girl.” He says.

“I love you too daddy.” She says as she dug in her bowl of chicken noodle soup.

Copying and reposting someone else’s content is plagiarism and illegal. This work is property of supernaturallyobsessedchic. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. These works contain material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of these works may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the author / publisher. An electronic reference link to the original posted work may be provided for purposes of promotion or assistance of publication by the readers discretion, if proper credits are given to the author in the re-post. 01/11/20

Feedback is always appreciated!

And I hope this helped Jen! You’re awesome, and I just hope this helped you feel fluffy warm. <3

#spn fluff #dean x daughter #dean x oc daugter #spn fan fic #supernatural fan fic #spn fan ficiton #supernatural fan fiction #spn #supernatural #dean x reader fan fic #dean x oc daughter fic #dean fluff #you are beautiful #you are one of a kind #smile more

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ranger-report · 5 years ago

Text

Thoughts On: HEXEN: BEYOND HERETIC

In 1995, less than a year after the release of Heretic (which I talked about here), Raven Software unleashed a masterpiece upon the first person shooter landscape. Titled Hexen: Beyond Heretic, the game featured radical new features for the id tech 1 engine, including scripted events (such as monster falling through the ceiling to ambush the player), hub level design, CD music, and moving walls. But what it really brought to the table was an unrelenting difficulty and obtuse puzzle system revolving around the discovery of multiple switches throughout a central hub to open the path to the next world. Combined with a pseudo-RPG character class feature, beautiful sprite work, and a rich atmosphere to explore, Hexen introduced concepts and mechanics that influence FPS games to this day, overshadowed only by the release of Quake the following year.

YouTuber GmanLives produced a video on Hexen calling it, “The Dark Souls of FPS Games,” and that's really not far off the mark. Hexen is oppressive. It's brutal. It's actively trying to prevent the player from achieving their goal of beating the game. While the previous entry in the series, Heretic, offered a fast-paced shoot-em-up blitzkrieg, this game operated with a more measured approach. Methodical pacing, resource management, and the utilization of each class's weapons are key to moving forward. Hidden doors and paths and switches, sometimes activated with the use key and sometimes by firing a weapon at them, permeate the levels to the point where half the game can be spent clicking or shooting at random walls just to see what's going to open up when – or if at all. Most games would tuck away secrets by this method, but Hexen, oh no. Hexen offers little rewards aside from survival, and it's glorious. It's harder than shit, but it's glorious.

Opening up the game, players are given three options to choose from: Baratus the fighter, Parias the cleric, or Daedolon the mage. Each class has their ups and downs; for example, the fighter is a beefy fucker who has high hit points and damage, but weak magic, leading to a mostly melee combat style if you run out of mana. The mage is the opposite, low hit points but high magic damage, with some gorgeously rendered spells that beautifully highlight the detail that id tech 1 was capable of. And the cleric is a mixed bag, balanced between the two, with a woefully weak melee weapon and decent ranged magic weapons, but he also carries the single best weapon in the entire game: the Wraithverge, a crucifix that shoots out Arc of the Covenant ghosts that scream and eviscerate anything on the screen in a glorious display of carnage. Clear out a room in seconds with two well placed shot. Arguable, the Wraithverge should be right up next to the BFG 9000 as one of the most ridiculously overpowered weapons in any game – maybe even higher. But the Wraithverge is an Ultimate Weapon, and each class has an Ultimate Weapon, which needs to be assembled over the course of the game by finding the pieces of it tucked away in hidden corners of the levels. Depending on your vigilance, you might find the pieces sooner vs later, and the rewards for this are plentiful. However, unlike the prior game, this game doesn't use unique ammo type for each weapon; that would be too easy. This time around, weapons require mana to use, coming in two different flavors, blue and green. Each class works as such: weak melee weapon that needs no mana, a slightly stronger weapon that uses blue mana, a much stronger weapon that uses green mana, and the Ultimate Weapon which uses both. With the fighter, all of his weapons can be used as melee if he runs out of mana, but if he has the stock, they take on ranged properties. The mage has a starting weapon that requires no mana, but it still ranged. Meanwhile, the cleric maintains the balance with his solo melee weapon, and the rest are ranged. What's notable about the differences in the classes is that it's not just limited to weapon usage, but also inventory usage. Different classes will garner different amounts of armor points depending on their “familiarity” with how to use armor. There's an item called a fletchette that varies in use depending on the class; for example, the fighter throws the fletchette like a bomb, where the cleric drops it in place and it explodes into a cloud of poison. New players will have the opportunity to briefly look over the classes at the beginning as the opening screen displays stats such as speed, armor, magic, and strength, all of which seem a little arbitrary since they don't explicitly state what they do or how they affect the game up front. At the same time, each class is going to lean towards a bit more difficulty, seeing as how the tanky fighter is going to make bruting through the game a lot easier than the tissue paper mage. First time players would do wise to pick the fighter or the cleric as their first timer, saving the mage for a later playthrough, unless you're a masochist when it comes to the games that you play.

One of the great distinctions about Hexen as compared to Heretic is that the former feels more like a fully realized game world vs the cool fanfic/DOOM clone of the latter. Director and designer Brian Raffel no doubt had a hardon for dark fantasy substance, having worked on Raven's previous two fantasy games, and with the release of DOOM thought, “You know, we can do something with that.” Didn't hurt that id Software was just a block down the street from their offices around that time (true story!) and John Romero, AKA Rock God of Gaming, worked directly with Raven during development so they could make the most of id tech 1. Taking what they knew after Heretic, hungry to dive in further, Hexen feels like a natural expansion of the concepts introduced in the first game: weary travelers journeying through worlds and dimensions to combat an ancient evil using magic and steel. It's great stuff, leaning even harder on the 80's horror fantasy art aesthetic. The game is oozing with deeply detailed monsters and environments, even more refined than the very good work done on Heretic. Translucent objects, fog, breakable terrain, each hub and level are intimately crafted to feel like it's a living, breathing world, not just something you've decided to boot up on your 486 PC. Ranging from traditionally gothic architecture with stained glass and parapets, to jungley swamps, arid canyons, and moldy sewers. And as mentioned before, it's brutally oppressive, absolutely unwelcoming in design. Even the environment doesn't want your presence here. Sometimes it doesn't even want the other monsters around; if you're lucky, you can get creatures to turn on each other by creeping into a new area, and if you can go unnoticed before their attack animations kick in, monster castes will infight with one another, saving you precious mana in the process. It doesn't always work, but when it does, it's a fun little sight to behold your meddling.

The sound effects are truly phenomenal, a game worth wearing headphones for. Composer Kevin Schilder returns for the soundtrack, and while his work on Heretic was suitable, here he knocks it completely out of the park. Ominous, brooding, energetic but not too up tempo, it's perfect dungeon crawling music that creeps up your spine at the same time. Meanwhile the distinct creature sounds echo and crawl around corners, letting you know what is where, and also what to be afraid of. I can still hear the sounds of the Dark Bishop in the back of my head, letting me know that I need to turn tail and put some distance between me and them. Enemy design is even better this time around: the aforementioned Dark Bishops take the role of the previous game's Disciples of D'Sparil, teleporting and blasting you with dark magic from their hooded, faceless bodies. Ettins are double-headed warrior beasts that carry a spiked mace, and are the most prevalent monster class in the game – and while they might be everywhere, they pack a helluva wallop, meaning you don't underestimate them no matter how many times you've killed one. Meanwhile, the Centaurs and Slaughtaurs are horrible little shits. Just like the tag says, they're centaurs with full-face helmets, swords, and spiked shields. They can raise their shield to deflect any incoming attacks and reflect them back at you, which is infuriating, especially since the Slaughtaur can fire deadly green magic at you while holding up their shields. And since they look the same, you have to approach any of them with intense caution, otherwise you're staring down the face of death while waiting to make your next strike.

Puzzles operate primarily on a “find the key/switch” platform, but rather than tracking down everything necessary to proceed in a single level, Hexen challenges the player to locate and operate everything they need to move forward throughout a spread of areas around the hub. For example, the Swamp Key won't be directly located in the swamp itself, but maybe over in the Forest. Multiple switches necessary to unlocking the Final Door in the central hub are located in the various hub worlds, informing the player with a quick “You have solved 1/3 of the puzzle” text across the screen when you've found one. Find another switch, the number increases from 1/3 to 2/3, etc. But each hub has more switches, all the way up to nine switches necessary to journey on, which to some is going to be a slog. While frustrating at times, I never felt like I was wading through a switch hunt just to proceed. Each switch seemed to naturally pop up on its own, and once I realized that certain areas couldn't be accessed within the levels themselves, I'd hop around the various worlds in the hub until I found a new switch or key, and then went back. Imagine if Super Mario 64's paintings were all connected to each other, and you had to hop back and forth between them in order to get to the next floor of the castle. It's innovative, and certainly makes sense; if an evil overlord tyrant person were going to hide the keys to access their lair, they probably would spread them out to make it harder to find. It's gratifying to open up section after section of these levels, defying the odds and slaying your way through the puzzles. Adding to the depth of torment is that, unlike Heretic, clearing a room of monsters doesn't mean it will stay that way. Scripted sequences again have monsters teleport in when you least expect it, repopulating areas you thought were safe for the time being. Damning though that may be, it adds to the feeling like the player is being watched at every moment, and that the game is doing its level best to fight back against your progress.

Hexen is hard. I resorted to a walkthrough once, just like in Heretic, and absolutely utilized the minimap in order to suss out where switches were located. There is nothing here to suggest a walk in the park: it is labyrinthine, it is torrid, it is nightmarish. But the mechanics all come together in the end, particularly in the moments where the game gratifyingly presents a room full of mana and health and a lot of monsters to let loose on. These apeshit moments are some of the best in the game. After spending hours managing resources and trying to hoard as much mana and health as possible, to be allowed a moment of pure rip and tear is wonderful.

If you're going to play Hexen, I highly recommend getting the expansion, Deathkings of the Dark Citadel. Not only is the title metal as fuck, but the three new hubs it offers are even more vicious, demeaning, and frustrating. They shove all the elements of the previous five hubs down into three, and it shows. You'll be assaulted on all fronts right from the start, continuing where the final battle left off in Hexen. You still get to pick your class, but sadly, you're also starting over. Curiously depowered and without any inventory items to work with, you'll feel extra squishy for the first level or three. Honestly, Deathkings was where I felt I had the most pure Hexen experience: solidly brutal and unforgiving as fuck. Interestingly, Deathkings was released in 1996 around the same time that Heretic got a retail release with two additional episodes under the name Heretic: Shadow of the Serpent Riders. Factor this in with the upcoming release of Hexen II in 1997 (which saw a hefty difficulty spike as well), it seems that Raven got in one last hurrah with id tech 1 before moving on to id tech 2 -- the Quake engine. But more on that game in another post.

As with Heretic, I recommend playing this one through GZDOOM in order to get the best experience. And you'll need the best experience to stay one step ahead of everything that's trying to kill you. In a nutshell, Hexen is a true masterclass of determination to see the day through. For fans of retro FPS games, it's a must play, but be warned that coming into this after Heretic there is a distinct shift in how the game plays, looks, feels. Gone is the run and gun, which exists now only in pockets. But what's here, crafted lovingly and passionately, is a true nightmare of agony and difficulty unlike anything made before it. As Gmanlives summed it up, perhaps Dark Souls should be called the Hexen of third person adventure games.

Next time, we'll take a look at Hexen II, a popular but vastly different title in the series, and how the changes it made not only distinguished it from the previous two games, but may have also set it slightly backwards as well.

#hexen #raven software #id software #doom #heretic #first person shooter #dark souls #roses and ruins #ck burch #thoughts on #ranger report

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btgalaxy · 6 years ago

Text

Twisted

➳ pairing: yoongi x reader

➳ genre: mafia!au, angst, eventual smut, maybe fluff

➳ word count: 3k

Masterlist / Previous Chapter / Next Chapter

Chapter 3:

“And this here,” Taehyung points in the direction of the open space of which Yoongi surveys like a human embodiment of CCTV, “is the main training area, canteen, sparring ground. It’s the heart of the Enterprise.”

You nod, responsively, “why do they train so hard?” You gesticulate towards the men, throwing punch after kick after slap, all with the intention of slaughtering their opponent, “surely, there isn’t much actual fighting in this… business. I’ve never heard of some huge mafia war.”

“You think Yoongi would allow any of our goings on to be monitored by the government, let alone the press?” He scoffs, “the man isn’t the head of this place for nothing. The men have to be in top form 24/7, else the second the opposition find out we’re taking a day off or whatever, they’ll be here like a pack of wolves massacring the whole fucking place, it’d be a ghost town down here once they’re through.”

You swallow, “by the opposition- you don’t mean-“

“Damn straight I mean your ex. Man’s a killer. Doesn’t know a target from his parents’ faces.” There’s a glint of a smile on his lips.

You frown at what Taehyung is insinuating, employing a bitter tone, “don’t make up lies about him.”

“Duckie, there’s all sorts of rumours going around about him as it is. In case you haven’t realised, he’s sort of public enemy number 1 around here.”

You had noticed, actually. You’d noticed the glances people would give you as Taehyung was taking you around pointing out all the different departments to you, clearly aware of your relationship to Jimin. Some of the men would look you over once, then turn away in disgust, else others would smirk suggestively. To say the least, if you weren’t perceived as a sex object, you were someone nobody wanted to be involved with.

You and Taehyung walk through a new tunnel, close to where your room is situated, as he begins telling you about the origins of the Enterprise.

“Yoongi’s parents were the ones to find this place- an abandoned military HQ. It wasn’t as discrete; they built the house up top and battered it a bit so nobody would be tempted to come lurking around. Then, they bought the land above us and henceforth owned everything below it and the Enterprise was born. It’s a shame his folks aren’t here to see it now.”

As you saunter along, you push your mouth to one side, “did they die?”

Taehyung gulps back, glancing about momentarily with a nervous expression, “yeah, yeah they did.”

You don’t ask anymore questions regarding the former directors, after Taehyung’s apprehensive demeanour to which you pin down as it just being a touchy subject. You continue your exploration down the corridor, but as you turn down another darker, less accessible tunnel you notice a door, somewhat ‘pushed aside’ but from the worn metal on the handle you can tell it’s obviously opened frequently. And that smell in the air; like the smell of rubber, of alcohol, of… metal? You can’t really tell, but it’s prominent and lingers around your nose and mouth, threatening to waft up even further and poison your internals.

“What’s through there?” You interrogate, detouring away from Taehyung’s increased pace the opposite direction of the doorway to instead make your way over. A hand on your shoulder, however, prevents you from doing so.

“That’s out of bounds, duckie. Strict orders from above.”

“Then what’s that smell?”

“I can’t smell anything.”

You take a dramatic breath in, inhaling the pungent aroma deeply to make a point, “what do you mean you can’t smell anything,” you cough a little, “it smells like shit down here.”

“You probably just need to get used to it. It’s a long way from home, duckie.” He hits your cheek lightly, “come along.”

Disregarding your insistence that there’s something up with that tunnel, the door, the smell in the air, you trot along behind your tour guide, eagerly watching out for anymore dubious looking areas, though it’s a doomed endeavour; the place is an underground mafia institution after all- the whole thing is out of the ordinary.

“Here, I’ll introduce you to Kook and Joonie.” You recall one of the names, but aren’t entirely sure from where.

Yourself and Taehyung roam into what seems to be a security camera room, filled to the brim with PCs and technological equipment- all seeming far too advanced for any amateur to be dealing with. There’s a man sat in the chair at the very centre, with another leaning over him from behind, hand gripping the back of the leather seat. The two seem entirely consumed with some virtual game, yelling profanity at it and hitting each other when they mess up.

“Fucking hell Joon, have you got eyes? He was clearly in front of you,” he leans forward, smacking the man in front over the head.

“Get out you moron, I ran out of bullets.”

“Then reload you stupid fucker-“

The man in the chair groans before interrupting, “I can’t just reload-“

“Just press that button it’s not-“

“Fuck off already I’m the computer tech not you.”

“Doesn’t make you any less shit at this.”

“You little shit you-“

Taehyung interrupts the two with a cough, to which the man at the back of the chair turns around, revealing a bandage on his free hand and your eyes widen. Fuck, so that’s how you recognise the name. He looks you up and down, raising his eyebrows, then falls into a blank expression when you make eye contact. Taehyung simply smiles at the interaction, suddenly patting a hand over your shoulder.

“Y/N, meet Jungkook,” he announces, “I assure you he is just as sweet as he tastes.”

“Funny,” Jungkook snarls, merely glancing at you one more time before turning back to look at the game, “don’t expect me to get along with her, Tae. She did take- Joon fuck! Let me do it you bellend.” His hand is instantly reaching out to yank the controller from ‘Joon’s’ grip, shoving him from the chair so he’s forced to get up. You can’t help but allow your eyes to drift towards the bandage covering the bite mark, wondering how big a chunk you took out of it.

The man sighs, ambling over to you with a slight limp and a wooden stick in his hand, before Taehyung introduces him, “and this is Namjoon; the finest hacker and tracker you’ll ever meet.”

“Sounds like a porno,” Namjoon comments.

“I’m sure you’d like that,” Tae winks back, “Joonie is also head of drug shipments, and was part of the team that found out about you.”

“So you’re the reason I’m stuck here?” You turn to face the man adopting a deathly appearance to shoot glares his way.

He holds a hand up in surrender, “I can’t ignore my orders. Yoongi allowed me to come in with an injury- an unlikely occurrence in a place like this, so to start rejecting his demands would put me back out on the streets.”

You suddenly feel a little guilty, delineating that he must’ve been in a difficult situation with a clear permanent limp, “how did you hurt it?” You glance at his leg, to which he mimics, tapping it with his stick to create an unexpected clanging sound.

“Not hurt- gone. Amputated after they found a cancerous tumour in the muscle- I could either let it spread to the rest of my body and have to undergo years of chemo only to still die within a few years, or have it removed altogether. And now I’m part android, so naturally I got good with computers, which Yoongi thought was a good enough reason to let me in.”

You mull over the fact that not all the people here may be sick, twisted killers that you perceive them to be; some may not have had a choice, or it could’ve been a way out from a life they didn’t want to carry on living. Yes there are probably some near-psychopaths prowling about but you still become aware of the subtle moments of morality, hidden in the silence and behind the scenes of the vicious attacks.

“Y/N is gonna start training with Jin. We’re just headed over there to go introduce him.” Taehyung reveals, and Namjoon lets out a single laugh, clearly amused.

“Good luck with that. I’m surprised he’s agreed to train a girl.”

“What’s wrong with training a girl?” You interject, with a snappy tone.

“Nothing, nothing,” he insists, “it’s just Jin has a thing about training girls. He doesn’t like it.”

“Well he’s gonna have to like it. She’s starting tomorrow,” Taehyung reassures, wrapping an arm around you. You suddenly feel a lot more nervous to meet this man, fully aware he will be your main point of contact whilst living here as your trainer and for him to dislike that time with you just… well it wouldn’t be ideal.

You say your goodbyes to Namjoon and Jungkook, leaving them to yell incessantly at the computer screen after a minor debate about how those games actually contribute to their work- they just told you guns were guns, virtual or not. And that comment manages to bring up your defences again, with the realisation that even if in a former way of life they may have been innocents, now they’re killers. By their own will or not, if they aren’t actually killing people then they’re helping. It dawns on you this could be your new lifestyle also, but you push those thoughts back so not to succumb to the sinister outlook of your life now.

Traipsing down yet another tunnel, you hear the grunts and huffs of men throwing kicks and punches. The smacks against sandbags echoes against the stone walls and swims through your eardrums, threatening to explode them with every movement you take closer. The smell hits you next; of sweat and gym equipment. Then, as you walk through the main training area, you come face to face with your new mentor.

He grapples against another man, of smaller stature but fast pace, and dodges his hits stealthily before throwing his own, far better timed as they hit him dead on till he’s winded and bent over, wheezing. His hair sticks to his forehead, as he uses the back of his hand to wipe away a layer of perspiration and moves to his water bottle at the side, now making criticisms of the man’s skills.

“You rely on your speed, but you need to improve your strength. And your tactics are poor and predictable- don’t go for the first attack you think of, you’re quick enough to think first and to then make the unexpected move,” he gulps down a mouthful of water, swirling it around his mouth before swallowing it down, “go spar with the boys. You need to practise thinking before you hit.”

As the man jogs off, looking rather disheartened after that assessment, Jin whips a towel around his neck, finally turning to you and Taehyung stood watching. The dark expression on his face as he spots you indicates he has been pre-informed of your arrival, and you take a gulp when he begins to stalk over and Tae nudges you forwards with a smile playing on his lips.

“Jin,” Taehyung bows slightly in respect, which Jin reciprocates, although still not taking his eyes off of you.

“This is Y/N?” He scrutinises your figure intensely, almost making you squirm and recoil from his gaze.

“The one and only.” Tae shoves you closer again, and you snap your head round to glare at him before slowly turning back to face Jin, still looking you over again.

“She looks weak.”

“Well she’s never even set foot in a gym.”

“How do you know that?” You cry turning to Taehyung, suddenly feeling rather targeted.

“Read your file.”

You pout to yourself childishly, “I have been in a gym before.”

“It doesn’t look like it,” Jin finally addresses you face to face, “your arms and legs have no muscle, they’re just fat and bone.”

You wrap your arms over your chest, feeling conscious now he’s observing you so closely, “well I never needed to be strong or fast, or be able to fight.”

“It’s always good to be able to defend yourself.”

“I never needed to.”

“Clearly you did considering you got abducted and brought here?” His retort silences you instantly as you wet your lips, perhaps a little awkwardly with the sudden tense atmosphere. He sighs, looking at Taehyung and then returning to a punching bag hung up to the left, leaving you both stood alone.

“Jin?” Taehyung glances at you, then at him, now busy launching hits at the surface, “what time should Y/N be here tomorrow?”

“She shouldn’t be here tomorrow. She’s an unnecessary distraction from real work with the men.” A fire starts in the pit of your stomach. What a fucking misogynist.

“Yoongi said-“

“I don’t care what he said. This is my department and it won’t be ridiculed by some feeble female incapable of opening a jam jar, let alone fighting a trained assassin.”

You’re about to step forwards and begin rocketing insults at him at full force after slandering your whole gender, but another presence gets there before you. And you’re surprised to find Yoongi looming behind you, having watched the entire scene unfold before him and now stepping forwards, smirking as he comes into your eyesight.

“Jin, how are you this evening?” He asks, casually. Jin falters for a second, pausing from his punches to glance over, before nodding his head curtly and returning his attention to the equipment in front of him.

Yoongi nods, raising his eyebrows slightly, “so what seems to be the problem with training her?”

Jin carries on with his work out, not even glancing over at his boss, “she’s weak. She’s too far behind. She won’t catch up.”

“Well that’s why I’ve entrusted you with the job, over the other trainers. She needs a lot of work.”

The fact that they’re talking about you in third person right in front of your face further ignites the fire burning through your veins, but you refrain from letting your tongue loose on their blatantly rude manners, considering one is a mafia boss and the other a highly skilled combatant.

“She will hold back the other men.” He ceases all movement suddenly, panting as he looks over at you and Yoongi, “it’s not right to hinder the progress of my division for some girl nobody wants here.”

Surprisingly, Yoongi isn’t happy with Jin’s comment whatsoever, deduced from his squinted eyes and furrowed brows capturing the man in a fatal glare, “need I not remind you of what you owe me, Seokjin. She’s stronger than she looks. If you give her a chance, you may find she’s got a better work ethic than some of these so-called ‘men’ you’ve been training up for months.”

Your stomach leaps as Yoongi becomes to threatening, all at your cause. It seems fictitious that such a man could even attempt to defend your honour, but similarly you don’t look too far into it, considering he’s doing nothing that won’t benefit him also. And obviously Jin has some kind of debt to repay, that he ‘owes’ his boss.

Jin pokes his tongue in his cheek before exhaling in frustration, “be here by 4am in workout gear.”

A small hint of smile slips through your lips as he gives in, feeling something similar to victory as he concedes to Yoongi’s demands.

“I’ll work you to the fucking bone so you better get ready.” And with that he returns to his punching bag, arms tensed as he vents his irritation through the form of aggression.

You turn around to see Taehyung has obviously wandered off, and you’re now left with Yoongi, flicking his head to the side to follow him away from Jin’s area. You follow behind him, away from the main training grounds and towards a staircase leading up to his office. Once inside, he turns to you, smirking smugly.

“I believe you might have perhaps a bit of trouble with your new trainer.”

You let out a sarcastic laugh, “you don’t say.”

He grins back, looking somewhat satisfied, moving over to his desk, “if he does cause you trouble you need to tell someone. I need you trained, not collapsing everywhere.”

“Trying to be some kind of hero now are you?” You suppress a smile, etching its way onto your expression.

“Only for my new favourite.” He takes out a file from his desk, “I’ve got something for you.”

He passes you the envelope of paper, to which you take apprehensively, unsure about its contents. As you open it up, you’re shocked to find a collection of photos of you as a child, your family and your friends. All the photos from your childhood through to the day you broke up with Jimin and came here- all sorts of memories bundled into one folder and gazing up at you nostalgically.

“What is this?” You murmur.

Yoongi sits at his desk, “I figured you may not see them for a while. So photos are the next best thing. God knows it’s how everyone else copes.”

Although the whole concept is pretty morbid and you now know he knows where the people you love are, the gesture seems unusually kind. You do, however, take notice that none of the photos include Jimin- even to the extent of him being visibly cropped out of some. But you don’t mention it.

“Thank you.” It’s the first sincere thanking you’ve done since you’ve been held captive here, after not being able to voice your thanks to the old lady that left you books.

“It’s nothing.” Yoongi dismisses, and you simply roll your eyes in response.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then?” You start uncomfortably making your way to the exit.

He nods, brusquely, “I’ll look forward to it.” He glances up incredibly briefly, with a gratified smirk on his lips before you leave with an increased pace, a knot forming in your throat, restraining you from breathing.

And as you’re walking down the corridor, you reprimand yourself for being so friendly with a murderer. Flirting, even. You come to the decision it’s better to focus your mind on other things- the books the woman leaves and your new start to training as of tomorrow. You take a breath in. Focus.

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#twisted #bts reactions #bts imagines #bts suga #bts mafia au #bts angst #bts fluff #yoongi smut #admin lottie

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retro-rezz-the-est · 7 years ago

Text

An Early Christmas Gift (Seth Rollins/Reader smut)

Summary: Seth proposes to his girlfriend on their anniversary. Fluffy smut then ensues 😅😅

Warnings: A shit ton of filler and about 8k words of my crap writing lol.

This is for Day 4 of @toxiicpop‘s @25daysofchrismuts challenge! This was really fun (and also my first time doing smth like this lol) and I hope I did it justice! Maybe I’ll do smth else like this is the future ;)

(A/N: This is probably the fluffiest ting I think I’ve ever written tbh. I squealed while writing this XD)

Y/n: your name

L/n: last name

“Does she even realize how bad she is out there?”

Nia's voice filtered through your ear as you sighed, rolling your eyes and moving your salad around with your fork. “At this point, I think everyone but her realizes how much she sucks.”

Conversations flowed through the corners of the backstage area as various members of the RAW roster and the backstage crew came in to eat and relax before the main show began. You and her, accompanied by Tamina, stared blankly at one of the TVs nearby as it began to replay one of Ronda's matches.

The three of you collectively groaned, and her voice was laced with pettiness and determination as she sat in one of the chairs in front of yours, Tamina following her lead shortly after.

“She won't be doing a lot of wrestling after I'm done with her at TLC. That Lesnar wannabe’s going to wish she had never entered a ring with me,” Jax emphasized, slamming her fists against the table, the force threatening to tip a nearby cup over. “What do you think, Y/n?”

The silent woman's gaze fixed itself onto you and you felt her eyes burn a hole into your body. “Well, to be perfectly honest, I do feel like you'd be a much better champion than that hot mess over there,” you pointed out, gesturing back to the screen behind you with your thumb. “At least with you holding the belt again, the women's division won't look like such a fucking joke.”

“Amen to that,” Tamina piped up, her sudden voice startling you. You turned your focus on to her and smirked before saying, “And besides, with someone like Tamina in your corner, the two of you would be unstoppable.” She leaned back in her chair, balancing it against the wall behind her and giving you a similar smirk.

The three of you continued to discuss Nia's upcoming title match for a few more minutes until you saw a familiar face appear in the corner of your eye.

Seth's dark hair fell down around his face and he was rocking his own merch shirt with some dark jeans and a sweater, casually strolling into the room. Your heart fluttered as you saw him meet up with Finn near the door, your focus slowly melting away from the conversation with the women at your table.

He just looked so comfortable in that moment, and the way his outfit hugged his body made you flush. No one but the two of you knew about the lines and fading marks that were left from the hard fucking you two had the night before underneath those layers. That one-size-too-small shirt and those seemingly painted-on skinnies kept the world from seeing the numerous hickies and nail marks you had imprinted onto him.

He went to scratch his beard and your mind drifted further. It pulled memory after memory of those fingers plunging into you and driving themselves into that one spot that always made you scream, drawing you over the edge over and over and over again. And he just moved his head to the right, you could still see the barely-there bite mark you had left on his left shoulder…

“Hey, Y/n? You in there?”

You immediately shot straight up and your body grew hot as both Tamina and Nia looked back at you, eyebrows raised and sly grins plastered on each of their faces.

“Y-Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little distracted…” Your eyes darted back over to your lover chatting in the corner and they turned in their seats to follow your gaze, Nia's grin growing as she began to stand up. Stretching her arms above her head, she motioned to the woman next to her with her head to do the same.

Jax left the table first, making her way to and out the door before her. With a swift turn of her head, Tamina crossed her arms and uttered, “See you later, Y/n.” She turned on her heel and strided away but before she left, she poked Seth on the shoulder and pointed back towards you.

His eyes went wide and a smile formed on his face as he started to walk in your direction, your cheeks flushing as he made his way closer to you. He walked behind you and wrapped his arms around your shoulders, placing a soft kiss to your forehead before sitting down in the seat next to you.

He held his arms out to you and you got up from your chair, sitting yourself down on his lap when he asked, “How's my beautiful girlfriend doing today, hmm?”

“If I see her today, I'll tell her you asked,” you replied, the skin on your cheeks starting to darken further. “But I think she'd tell you that she's fine, and that she's just thinking about her very special, very important anniversary that's coming up…?”

Seth turned you around, shuffling you around so that you faced him directly with your legs trapping his. Laying an arm on her hips, he added, “Well, if you do see her today, you can tell her that I did remember that our three year anniversary is soon and that I did get her something really nice to celebrate it…”

“Wait, seriously? Oh my God, Sethie, tell me. Tell me now.”

He chuckled at your excitement, keeping note of how you had started to bounce eagerly and placed kisses around his face. “But that would ruin the surprise, Y/n.”

You ceased all movement and deflated a little. “Are you sure that a surprise present is the best thing for you?” you questioned as your curious nature naturally took over.

“What's wrong with it being so?”

Cocking an eyebrow, you leaned back to look him square in the eye and smirked at him. “Oh, really? The last time you ‘surprised’ me, a cake blew up and I was washing frosting out of my hair for days.”

He busted out laughing at that moment, remembering the shocked look on your face when the red velvet cake he got for you for your birthday suddenly exploded onto you.

“Aww, but you looked so cute with all that cake on your face,” he chided, poking his fingers into your hips. “But, I promise that this one will be better than the last.”

You rolled your eyes and still gave him a small smile despite the teasing remark. A hand then tapped you on your shoulder, and you turned around to see one of the stage hands standing behind you. He whispered in your ear about how you had to get ready for your match tonight and you sighed, shaking your head.

“I was hoping that it would get cancelled, but I'll leave,” you told him, moving off of Seth's lap and standing. “Just give me a second.”

He nodded and left, leaving you alone (well, as alone as you can be in a room full of people) with Seth. “Is there anything on the agenda for you tonight?”

Your lover nodded himself and noted, “I only have a few small segments with Dean tonight, but that's about it. Maybe we can meet up at my locker room and leave after the show ends?”

You bent down and placed a soft kiss on his lips, holding his face in your hands. “That would like a plan, Mr. Kingslayer.” With a smile, you pivoted on your heel and walked out, heading to your locker room to get ready.

He got up a few seconds later and grabbed a water bottle off the back table, opening it and downing it in a few chugs. He made his move to leave as well when he felt a presence behind him. Turning around, he let out a breath of relief when Finn revealed himself and sat where you did moments before.

“So,” he asked, lowering his voice so no one else but Seth could hear, “do you have it yet?”

He scoffed, reaching into his front pocket to pull out a small black velvet box with red lining. He looked adoringly at the item and said, “I've been carrying it around ever since I got it a few weeks ago.”

“Ya should really keep that somewhere more secure. Ya don't want ‘er to find it or end up losing it somehow,” Finn stated, noting how you were perched on Seth's lap and how your leg was almost brushing the small box in his pocket

“I know, I know,” he responded, shaking his head slightly, “but this is the confirmation of everything we've been through together. I love Y/n completely, and this is just going to solidify that even further.”

He grinned down on the item in his hand, gathering it up in his fist and shoving it back into his pocket. He glanced back at Finn and said, “I have to go. See you out there, Finn.” Pushing some stray hairs back, he made his way to the door and exited, moving in the direction of his locker room to prepare for the show's taping that night.

“I'll see the two of you later, ok?”

You gave both Bayley and Sasha a quick hug as you grabbed your gym bag from the back seat and exited their shared car. The three of you just came back from training at the PC, and there was nothing you needed more than a little rest after a long day of working out. You tugged on the long sleeves of your workout shirt, the cold afternoon air around you already starting to seep in.

You turned around and saw the two girls smiling back at you from the front seats, Bayley waving at you from the passenger side. “Yeah, we'll see you tomorrow, Y/n,” you heard Sasha answer, starting the car back up.

“Oh, and happy anniversary to you and Seth, girl! You have to tell us everything tomorrow.”

You chuckled at the hugger's enthusiasm, promising to do so before closing the car door. Making your way up the front stairs to your place, you waved back at the two as you watched the car drive off into the sunset, sighing when they left your sight.

“That's only if we actually do anything today,” you mumbled, pulling the house key from your pocket and unlocking the door. You walked inside and slammed it shut in a mild frustration, throwing your duffel onto the kitchen counter. Stretching your arms above your head, you could feel your shoulders crack from being put through hell for the past few hours.

“Seth, I'm home!” you called out, your voice ringing through the empty halls. Your mind slowly starts to drift back to a few weeks ago, and to when Seth told you that he had something special planned for that very day.

Doesn't seem too much like it now.

Maybe he's just getting everything ready for me, you wondered, toeing off your sneakers and making your way to the stairs. That could be why he rushed me out the house this morning.

You finally made it to your bedroom door, opening it quickly with a huge grin on your face to find…

...absolutely nothing. No gifts, no streamers, no elaborately prepared meal like in the cheesy romantic comedies the two of you watch together. And especially, no Seth. There was just nothing there.

You felt your eyes begin to water as you walked towards the large queen sized bed and flopped down on it, exhausted from disappointment and from training. There was a small crunching sound from underneath you when you fell on top of the bed, and you slowly rolled over to retrieve it.

The now slightly crumpled envelope had your name written across the front in your lover's handwriting. Curious, you carefully opened it and pulled out the neatly folded letter, letting your eyes wander the page.

To Y/n, the love of my life,

I'm sorry that I didn't get a chance to spoil you for the entire day. Trust me, that was my plan initially, but I wanted tonight to be one that you would never forget. I needed you out of the house for a few hours so I could get your surprise ready. There's a box in the closet that has a dress and some shoes inside. You don't have to wear them, of course. I'm not forcing you to. I want you to meet me at 8pm at the restaurant where we first met. It's the place where I first fell in love with you, and it's where our crazy, incredible journey together began.

Tonight is about you and how much I appreciate all that you do for me. I love you, my beautiful, wonderful, talented, sassy, kick-ass girlfriend. You have my heart completely until the end of time, and I hope that this night will cement the love that I have for you.

Forever yours, Seth Rollins

A small gasp left your mouth as your heart fluttered in your chest, small tears now falling from your eyes. You dropped the note onto the bed and rushed over to the closet, opening it abruptly to find a black box tied with a sheet gold ribbon sitting at the bottom. Kneeling down, you carefully unravel the ribbon and take off the lid to find a beautiful black dress with gold engravings along the sides and along the collar, and a pair of red bottoms resting inside.

You took the dress and shoes in each hand and rose from your kneeled position, taking a look at the clock beside your bed. “Ok, it's 6:15 now. So I have enough time to shower, shave my legs, do my hair and makeup, get dressed, and get out on time if I start…right now.”

Tossing both items onto the bed, you ushered yourself into the bathroom and chucked off your workout clothes, grabbing your razor and slipping into the shower. The steaming water melted into your skin, providing your body with the bit of relaxation it needed. You lathered up and dragged the razor down your legs, careful not to cut yourself in the process.

Rinsing off and jumping out, you toweled yourself off and wrapped another one around your hair. You left the bathroom and walked over to your dresser, opening it and remembering what you had hidden in there.

In the organized mess that was your underwear drawer, you had hidden away a small plastic pregnancy test you took a whole back. You smiled at the memory, remembering how you cried small tears of joy when you saw the two thin pink lines that marked the test positive. Taking it, you placed the small package on top of the dresser and grabbed a matching black lingerie set, hoping that tonight would end with it off of you and on the floor.

You shook the towel from your head as you clasped the bra behind you, pulling the lacy thong up and over your hips. Rushing back to the bathroom, you swiftly blew out your hair and applied a quick smokey eye with some deep red lipstick to match.

You picked up the dress and slipped it on, cautious not to get any makeup stains on the fabric. After a few final touches to your hair and makeup, you were finally finished. Taking a final look at yourself in the mirror, you had to say… you didn't look half bad. The dress itself fit your body nicely and showed off all your natural curves, and you couldn't help but give a little spin in front of it.

You walked out the bathroom and glanced back at the clock. “Shit,” you panicked, seeing that it was 7:15. Dashing around, you grabbed your phone, wallet, and your keys and shove them into your purse before booking it out of your room.

As you open the door, you reach out to your right and grab the test, putting it in your bag as well. You rushed down the stairs as fast as you could, grabbing your jacket and praying to not bust your ass in your new red bottoms before heading outside and to your car.

You pulled up in front of the restaurant, your fingers twitching with anticipation. What could this son of a bitch have planned? you thought as you parked your car and exited, walking towards the entrance smiling.

The soft classical music from the building's speakers floated around as you looked at the seats near the windows to see your boyfriend, dressed to the nines in a crisp black tux. He was fidgeting with the single rose in his hand when you sauntered into the seat across from him, placing your purse in your lap and leaning your hand on your chin.

“Well, you sure do clean up nicely,” you whistled, eyeing him up and down. You took of your jacket and placed it on the back of the chair as he chuckled and tugged at the lapels of his suit jacket.

“I do, don't I?”

The rose in his hand made its way into yours, glancing down at the table as you felt your cheeks flush. He took your free hand and raised it to his mouth, kissing the back of it. “You look absolutely gorgeous tonight,” Seth spoke, looking back up at you with those goddamn puppy eyes of his.

You brushed some stray hairs from your face and you gave him a lopsided grin, running your hands over the smooth fabric of your dress. “Thanks, baby,” you replied, “but you really didn't have to go out and buy this for me.”

“Oh, but I really wanted to. You deserved to be spoiled as often as you can,” he said as he leaned forward, placing a soft kiss to your lips.

A waitress came up to your table and the two of you ordered your food, enjoying sips of the complimentary wine and talking about upcoming shows and matches. You kept catching glimpses of his fingers fidgeting with the tablecloth or beads of sweat dotting his forehead. This kept up even after you got your food and resumed your conversation, but it was getting to you too much for you not to ask.

“Seth, honey?”

“Hmm?” He was wiping his mouth with his napkin as he asked, “Yeah, Y/n? What's wrong?”

You pushed your finished plate off to the side and let out a breath. “I should be asking you the same thing. You've been acting very awkward this entire night, and you seem nervous about something.”

“Nervous?” He let out a weak laugh, tugging at his collar with one hand. “Why would you assume that I'm nervous?”

“I can literally see you gripping the absolute hell out of the table right now.”

He looked down to see his white knuckled hold on the tablecloth and he ripped it off, holding his still shaking hand to his chest.

You took it in your own and traced your thumb along the lines on his palm. “Baby, what's going on? You know you can tell me anything.” You had thoughts about if your relationship would go south and how he would break up with you if anything happened, but you never pictures this…

“Oh God, Seth, are you breaking up with me?”

“No, of course not!” he exclaimed, looking taken aback by your question. “But actually, I do have something to tell you.”

You placed your purse and the rose on your seat as he took your hand and stood up, taking you with him. You could see you anxious he was, whether it be the light pink flush in his cheeks or the tapping of his foot.

“Y/n,” he started, looking you straight in the eye and clenching your hands tightly, “from the moment I saw you, I knew you were the one for me. You've been my number one supporter since the day I asked you to be mine, you manage to keep me grounded whenever life's kicking my ass, and you're always telling me that you love me with all my flaws.”

The room suddenly grew completely silent and you could feel the pinpricks of fresh tears appearing in the corners of your eyes as he continued.

“You're amazing, fantastic, beautiful, smart, talented, an all-around gold hearted person, and everything in between. There's probably a billion more words I could use to describe you, and there still wouldn't be enough.”

Is this going where I think it's going…?

“You complete me. You're always there for me, and I never got the chance to thank you for that. So, thank you for being unbelievably you. And ever since that fateful day three years ago, I promised myself that I could keep you in my life forever. Now, I'm going to solidify that promise.”

A collective gasp rang throughout the space and your jaw dropped as Seth fell down to one knee and let go of your hands, reaching into the front pocket of his pants. “I wanted to do this on Christmas Day but like I said before, I wanted tonight to be one that you'll remember for ages. Just think of it as a early Christmas gift.”

Oh my fucking God, it fucking IS.

He pulled out the black velvet box and opened it, revealing an intricately woven diamond ring, the center gem your favorite color.

“Y/n L/n,” he asked you, “will you do me the absolute pleasure and honor of being my love, my queen, my wife?”

Fuck fuck fuck fuck hOLY SHI-

You felt like your heart was going to either beat out of your chest or fall straight to your feet in that one moment. Tears began to train from your eyes as you covered your mouth in pure shock, trying to hold back your sobs.

The eyes of everyone in the restaurant were on the two of you as they waited for your response, or your lack thereof.

Your ability to form words had failed you the second he pulled out the ring, and the only thing you could do was nod your head furiously as you finally let your emotions overtake you. The applause of the restaurant patrons felt miles away when he stood back up and kissed you, cupping your face gently with his rough hands.

After a few seconds, he let go and lifted your hand, sliding the ring onto your finger. You rested your head on his shoulder when you looped your arms around his neck, more tears spilling from your eyes. As you closed your eyes, you snapped them back open, remembering what you had stored in your purse.

“Wait, Seth,” you said, your voice wobbling slightly as you let go. “I have a surprise gift of my own, too.” You leaned down and opened your bag, grabbing the test and hiding it behind your back.

“I took this the morning after my birthday, and I've had it with me ever since.I know it's not a ring, though, but I'm sure it'll still make you happy,” you confessed, pausing for a moment before moving your arms back around and holding your arms out to your now fiancè.

“Happy anniversary, love.”

You could see tears of his own threatening to come out of his widened eyes as he tried to contain his own joy and excitement. He took the test out of your hands and looked at it in wonder, his own hands shaking.

“I'm gonna be a dad?”

Fresh tears rolled down your cheeks as you pressed your forehead against his, his arms moving around to hold you at your waist. “Yes, Sethie. Yes you are.”

This time, it was he who buried his face into your neck, breathing in the soothing scent of your hair. “I'm gonna be a father,” he repeated, his breath hitting your neck. “We're gonna be a family.”

You let go of each other, quickly flagging down your waitress to pay for your meal while you gathered the rest of your things. The two of you exited the building with the sound of applause following behind, the erratic beating of your heart seeming to never end.

The ride back to your place was complete bliss. Your heartbeat slowed down, and Seth couldn't stop running his thumb over your ring as he drove. You two occasionally locked eyes and smiled at each other, making your heart swell with affection.

When he pulled into your driveway, he got out of his seat and opened the door, making his way around and to yours. You yelped as he hoisted you out of your seat after he opened your own door, keeping one arm under yours and another under your legs. He only set you down to unlock the front door before kicking it shut when you entered, slipping off his own shoes and lifting you up again.

“This is how I'm gonna carry you every night,” he murmured in your ear, making his way up the stairs and into your room. He dropped you on the bed, you giggling as you bounced slightly. Slowly unbuttoning his suit jacket, he slipped it off if his shoulders and laid in on the nearby dresser, doing the same with his tie.

You could feel your lacy underwear become damp as his brown eyes darkened and he undid the first few buttons of of his white shirt. Rolling up his sleeves, he gently took our heels off and placed them at the foot of the bed.

You sat up to unzip the back of your dress, but he took over the task before you could finish. “I'm gonna take good care of my future wife tonight,” he spoke in your ear, licking your earlobe before sucking it into his mouth, “and the mother of my child.”

The dress glided off your shoulders and down your body, him throwing them into the open closet next to you. Your hands made their way into his silky dark locks and pulled the band away, allowing his hair to flow freely down his shoulders.

No words were said from your lover as his eyes fell to the soft lace that hid your features away from him. A soft grown came from him as the two of you fell back onto the pillows, him admiring the way your hair flowed around your head like a halo.

“I love you so, so, so much,” he whispered, his eyes full of love and lust.

“Me too, baby.”

He wiped the new tears rolling out of your eyes as the two of of you leaned in and locked lips. The kiss was both passionate and mind-blowing, him gently nibbling on your bottom lip before sliding his tongue into your mouth. You moaned at the sensations and you started to run your hands over his clothes chest, sneakily trying to undo his shirt buttons.

He chuckled, pulling your hands off of his chest with a smirk. “No, no, no. I'm not getting undressed just yet. You, on the other hand…”

Another hard kiss was dropped to your mouth and Seth caressed your tongue with his, slipping his hands into the band of your thong and dragged it down and off your legs. He gripped your ass firmly with both hands as his mouth traveled down your jaw, your hands running up and down over his sleeves.

More kisses and soft licks were left on your neck, the burning arousal in your core getting hard to contain. You closed your eyes as he neared your collarbone and you let out a loud moan when he sucked a harsh bruise into it, biting the skin around it. His lips were red and spit-slick as he came back up, breathing heavily.

He laid a final kiss against your neck and cleverly unsnapped the clasp of your bra, discarding it somewhere in the room. Letting go of your ass, he cupped your breasts in his hands and squeezed, pushing them towards each other.

“Eyes on me, Y/n,” you heard him say, lost in thought even though no real action has occurred yet. “I want to see everything shine in your beautiful eyes.”

He leaned down and sucked hard on your left nipple, biting down softly and twisting the right one with his thumb and forefinger. He alternated between the two, giving each one equal treatment before trailing his mouth down your cleavage and down your chest.

Your hands staked their claim in Seth's hair, twirling the strands around your fingers and tugging. He groaned at the feeling, dragging his teeth along your soft skin and around your hip bones. You looked down at him planting loving kisses around your stomach, running a hand over the area.

“You're gonna look so sexy when you start showing,” he said, peering back up at you as his eyes gleamed. The world seemed to melt around the two of you, and that comment only made your heart beat faster and harder for the man above you.

Moving down further, he lifted his mouth away and finally made eye contact with your dripping core. “Well, well, Y/n,” he observed, dragging two fingers over your fluttering lower lips and making your hips twitch from anticipation. “Look at how wet you are. Is this all for me?”

“Mhm,” you nodded, your lip caught between your teeth, “who else would it be for?”

Another short laugh left his body as he brought his fingers to his mouth and sucked on them, moaning at your taste.

“You taste so good, love, but I need to eat you straight from the source,” he remarked, immediately leaning down and licking a stripe up your folds.

A loud moan managed to erupt its way from you as he pulled your lower body closer to his mouth, wrapping your thighs around his head. You arched your back and closed your eyes, not able to keep them open with him doing that to you.

With his thumbs, Seth spread your lips and held back another groan, his cock growing harder when he saw how wet you were in the moonlight. He pulled back the hood of your clit and circled his tongue around it, sucking it harshly into his mouth. You turned your head to the side and nearly screamed into the pillow from how good it felt.

Your pleasurable situation paused when he looked back up at your face; back arched, hands gripping the sheets for dear life, eyes closed…

He let go of your clit with a faint “pop”. “Y/n, I told you to keep those eyes on me. Don't let me catch you again.”

The dangerously deep undertone in his voice made you shiver, and you could feel some of the hairs on your arm raise. His mouth kept up a solid suction in your clit before he groaned and popped off. He licked down your folds and to your wet hole, spitting on it and rubbing it with his finger.

He took his time teasing you, licking around the area and just dipping the tip of his tongue inside you. He wanted this to last, even as you pushed his head down into you and ground down on his beard. The burn of the small hairs scraping the insides of your thighs had merely heightened your arousal as he finally drew his tongue into you.

He kept one arm around your leg to keep you spread open for him, and slid the other in your direction. His hand found yours, lacing your fingers in his and grasping it. You squeezed back harder, of course, as you tried to keep your incoming climax at bay.

You could hear him murmur things to himself as he came up for air, but you couldn't catch all of them. You could hear him say how wet you were, and how he couldn't believe you said yes to him.

“Sethie,” you said, pulling him from your folds and bringing his face up. “I said yes because I love you. I love who you are as a man, as a wrestler, and as someone who would bear their flaws and ask for help. You are an amazing person, and I'm glad to know that where going to be happily married one day soon.”

You brought his lips to yours and you two shared a loving embrace, tasting yourself on his mouth. He let out a breath and looked down at you with dilated eyes, a small smile growing on his features.

“Thank you, Y/n,” he responded, giving your hip a squeeze before going back to lick your cunt. His thumb continued to rub at your clit as he drove his tongue into you over and over again, you pulling his hair into a makeshift ponytail and yanking. He rubbed his face into the apex of your thighs, the delicious burn bringing you even closer to the edge.

His tongue left you for a moment so his mouth could suck on your folds, pulling one away from your body and doing the same to the other before diving back into you. The finger at your clit rubbed harder when he felt your thighs squeeze around his head, trying to keep you there as you reached your climax.

He plunged his tongue into you faster until ecstasy took over your body and you finally came, your head knocked back and your back arched. He let out a moan as the taste of you flooded his mouth, and he took time to savour you well.

You whimpered as he withdrew his mouth and tongue from you, the insides of your thighs already starting to grow raw. Seth's mouth and beard were glistening with your essence before he wiped it away with the back of his hand, licking it up as to not waste a single drop of you. You fell back onto the sheets, whining as he glided his palm over your sensitive folds.

“Think you can take one more before I fuck you, baby? Can you do that for me?” he asked you, laying pecks across your forehead and down your cheeks.

You tried squirming away from his hold as he ground his palm into your clit, still reeling and feeling slightly sensitive. “I don't think so.”

“Come on. You can do it.”

New waves of pleasure rolled over you when he slid his free hand into your hair, tugging on it and pulling your head back. He licked stripes up and down your exposed neck and nibbled on it, forming new small marks along the skin.

“For me, please?” he murmured into your neck as he laid another kiss under your earlobe.

“For your future husband?”

He then looked at you with love-struck eyes, his gaze burning into yours. Crossing your arms over your chest, you huffed and said, “Fine, but be gentle with me. I'm still sensitive, y'know.”

His point grew into a smile as he ground his palm harder into your clit, moving down your chest to suction your nipple into his mouth again. Gasping, you pushed your hair away from your face and gripped his shoulder. He slid his fingers down your slit and towards your hole, circling it with one finger.

“How many?”

“Hmm?” you jerked, pulling yourself out of your pleasure bubble.

“How many fingers do you want to cum on?”

You felt your core clench at his words, and your mouth couldn't speak full sentences for the second time that night.

“T-Three,” you stuttered out, shakily holding up three fingers.

Seth chuckled darkly, pressing his lips back down to yours and sliding three of his slim digits into you. You choked out another loud moan, already close to cumming again. His fingers curled and you lashed out to grab his wrist, digging your nails into his skin. He moved his opposite hand back up to your breast, massaging it with his palm.

Your vision grew blurry as his fingers moved faster, the digits going knuckle deep and his hand catching your clit every time he pushed forward. They kept pressure on your g-spot with every movement, and it wasn't long before your orgasm took over again.

You clamped your eyes shut as your mouth fell open and your hold on his wrist tightened. He extracted his fingers from your core, beads of your essence still dripping out of you as he brought his fingers to his mouth again.

He glanced at your flushed body, panting and curling your toes. A sly glint shone in his eyes as he crawled backwards and got off the bed. You sat up and rested yourself on your elbows, looking to see Seth standing and removing his now wrinkled white button down, his back facing you.

The shirt soon fell away from his body and you got a fresh view of the tattoo that lined the top section of his spine, showing off the lean planes of his back muscles. Your mind drifted into more fantasies of you gripping that back for dear life, dragging your nails down it as he pounds you into the mattress at top speed with sweat dripping down his forehead. He's growling in your ear and rubbing harshly at your clit and telling you to cum for him and only him…

Maybe that fantasy can come to like tonight, you thought to yourself as you watched him remove the rest of his clothes, taking in the view of his firm ass. Your mouth started to water when he turned around to face you, his cock hard and spilling pre-cum from the tip.

His grin grew even wider when he saw how lustful you looked while trailing your eyes down his figure. “Enjoying the view, I see?” he asked, quirking his brow and stalking towards the bed.

You smartly replied, “Hell yeah, I am,” and took his ass in your hands, holding it firmly when he climbed back on top of you. Your legs wrapped around his slender waist as he leaned on his lower arms above you.

“Although, I do like this view right here…”

A chuckle left you as he said that, but it quickly turned into a loud yelp when he twisted his hips and flipped you over, smoothing his hands down your back.

“...I love this view even more.”

You rested your knees down on the sheets, running your hands down the planes of his chest and giving his pecs a squeeze. Taking his cock in your hand, you rubbed it up and along your folds, tapping it against your clit.

He groaned above you, watching you grind down on him as he has a loose hold on your hips. After a few moments of your soft grinding, you finally reached down and spread your folds with your fingers, letting his thickness drive home for the first time that night.

“Jesus fuck, you're tight,” Seth spoke, his breath hitching as he watched his length slowly enter you inch by subtle inch before he sat balls deep inside of you. “Haven't even started yet and I'm already close to cumming. How ya feeling, baby?”

You bit down on your bottom lip and nodded, looking down at his own blissed out face and scratching at his chest. His eyes were fluttering shut and you could see that he was holding back his own instincts to fuck you, like how his ab muscles strained from holding back his thrusts and his arms shook from keeping from slamming you down on his length constantly.

He looked so beautiful in that moment with all of his best features highlighted by the moon outside and he could say the very same for you, as well.

You started off slow, raising your hips off of his and gently lowering them down, wanting to savor this moment you had with him. Each slow bounce of your hips made his hold on you ever so tighter, and you could feel the small finger shaped bruises beginning to form.

Running his hands up and down your sides, he stated, “Look at how sexy you look right now, taking this cock for yourself and making yourself cum all over it. You're just taking me so well and so deep, baby, and it feels fucking amazing.”

You had to admit, the way he sort of rambled in bed was… kinda cute. You'd always had this effect on him, and it was something that you prided yourself on. Not everyone can get the Kingslayer like this, y'know.

You bent down and smoothed your hands over his chest, planting small pecks along the soft skin as you twisted his pert nipples hard with your fingers.

“Fuck!” he shouted, bucking his hips into yours and almost throwing you off balance. You chuckled into your hand, seeing how anxious he was to fuck you like you needed it. “You damn minx. I've taught you well, haven't I?”

“Yes you have,” you added, “and now I'm your little minx for good, so I can tease you all night long...”

He raised the hand that held your ring and placed a kiss to it, seeing how the small rocks that lined shone in the light. Holding that hand down on the space next to him, he wove his fingers into yours before pushing you down flat on to his chest with the other. Your free hand made its way behind his neck and cradled it, feeling Seth plant his feet on the bed and raise his knees.

“I know tonight is a special night and all, but taking it slow isn't the way to go. I know you, and I know you want to be fucked into oblivion and cum so hard that you see stars.”

He growled these words into your ear, loving how you whined and shifted your hips. “Now, doesn't that sound more enjoyable than having to do all the work? Just lay down and let me take care of you.”

He thrusted sharply into you, your back trying to arch in his grip. As he began his delicious torture, every noise around you was muffled in comparison to the sounds the two of you made. You could hear how wet you were, and the constant sliding of his cock moving faster inside of you only emphasized that fact.

Every other thrust, your clit would catch on his pelvis, pulling the hood back and running it on the hairs that lined his abdominals. Your climax was coming fast and he could sense it, wrapping his arm tighter around your waist as he pounded into you even harder. Eyes clamped shut, your free arm slid further around his neck, pressing your cheek against his.

A slap rang out against your ass as he used it to push you into him further, the bed rocking from the intensity of his movements. “What did I tell you about those eyes?” he reminded you, slapping your ass again for good measure. “I want to see those beautiful eyes when you cum fore, when you cum of this cock of mine.”

Seth focused on your neck again, and laughed darkly in your ear when he heard you moan out loud. “Maybe I should cum inside you and we can strive for another baby,” he added. “The test marked positive the last time we tried.”

You whined at that, holding him closer and saying, “Fuck, I want that. I really, really want that.” Your hips moved automatically to meet his thrusts, and you could feel your folds begin to flutter around him.

“Your wish is my command, sweetheart. I'd do anything for my future wife,” he said huffing, out of breath and on the brink of just blowing his load inside you. But, he wanted to wait for you. You had to do this together, just like everything else in your life that came your way.

“Now, cum for me, baby. Cum for me now!”

The deep bite he delivered to your collarbone was the thing that did you in, and you did end up see stars like he told you earlier. When you eventually fell off the cliff of your climax, he followed suit, your cunt gripping him like a vice. You tightened your hold on is hand, the ring on your finger digging into his skin.

You could feel his cum pumping into you with every shallow thrust he gave, and you could feel your own fluids covering his cock. His dilated eyes were drawn back to yours, rolled back from the pleasure and wide just like his own. The scrape off his beard against your sensitive skin tingled, and you let go of his hand to push him off of it.

The two of you were breathing heavily and you released your hand from his, rolling over onto the sheets like log. You lifted your head from the pillows and saw him in all his glory; hair missed and tangled from your hands, red lipstick stains lining his upper chest, red lipstick smeared around his mouth.

You knew you didn't look much better than he, but you couldn't deny the fact that that man is goddamn beautiful.

He flipped himself over onto his side, perching himself on an elbow as he looked down at you. His fingers drifted to the dark mark he had just bitten on the side of your collarbone and he heard you wince, backing away from the contact.

“Sorry, Y/n,” he apologized, pulling you under the sheets with him. “I guess I need to learn how to control myself around you when we actually get married.”

You leaned up and placed a soft kiss to his lips, curling onto your side and sighing happily when he spooned his arms around you.

“Please never do. That's one of the things I like most about you,” you hummed, snuggling yourself deeper into his hold.

“Oh, really?”

You felt Seth lay a series of kisses behind your ear and around your neck, grinding his hips into yours. Instantly, you turned around and flicked him on the nose, telling him to settle down or he isn't getting any for a few days.

Groaning dramatically, he stopped and kissed your forehead, noting how you were already starting to doze off.

You were completely sure that the beard burn between your thighs was going to be a bitch and a half in the morning, but you don't care. All that mattered to you was that you were with your new fiancè, and how spectacular your anniversary had been.

“G'night, Sethie,” you spoke drowsily, sleep already claiming you. “See ya in th’ morning.”

After a few brief seconds, he felt your head drop onto his chest and heard soft snores coming from you. His hands made their way to your stomach and ran his thumbs along the skin, tearing up at the fact that he helped to create the child that was starting to grow in there.

He kissed your forehead again before burying his face in your hair, whispering, “Goodnight, my darling future wife.”

We're gonna be a family, he repeated to himself as sleep claimed him as well, pulling him down into the comfy darkness. Snow started to fall outside of your window, signalling the start of a new season, and a new chapter in your wonderful journey together.

Tagging: @writing-reigns @toxiicpop @gold--gucciempress @crossfitjesusinskinnyjeans @littledeadrottinghood @tacoshu @missjenniferb @wrestlingbabe @wrestlingfae @hardcorewwetrash @aj-mac21 @theneverendingthirst @neversatisfiedgirl @caramara3 @wwevampireamongkpop @thedustyangel @the-goddess-queen-of-chaos @multi-fandom-trash4life @legitbaddest @timesnewreigns @flawlessglamazon @thetherianthropydaily @lhcartoonist @princess3733 @wrestlingxbalorxrollins @thelifeofmely

#seth rollins fanfiction #seth rollins x reader #seth rollins x reader smut #seth rollins smut #seth rollins fanfcic #wwe fanfiction #wwe fanfic #wwe smut #25 days of chrismuts #day 4

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victorluvsalice · 8 years ago

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AU Thursday: Londerland Bloodlines -- AUs of the AU

Because, if you've learned one thing about me, it's that I'm never content with just ONE AU of a particular scenario. Just look at all the spinoffs I've made for the Forgotten Vows verse. Londerland Bloodlines -- my "Alice as a Malkavian PC in the Vampire: The Masquerade -- Bloodlines game, with Victor taking Heather's place as her ghoul" -- might not have as many variations on the concept as that one, but I do have three major "branches" from the original AU that I may as well share for those curious:

LaCroix's Puppet: In my original AU, after Alice retrieves the sarcophagus from the Giovanni, LaCroix comments on her ghoul "posing" as Victor Van Dort (unaware she's picked up the real deal) to help them get inside, and mentions he's actually looking for Victor so he can ghoul him -- he's interested in William's fish company, and figures having Victor under his control would be a good in. Alice is horrified, and thanks her lucky stars that she found Victor first.

Naturally, I have an AU where LaCroix got to him first -- I haven't decided if one of his agents spots Victor before the car accident, or if he learns Victor's in the clinic after the accident and has someone spirit him away before Alice finds him there. Either way, when Alice goes to see LaCroix in his office, Victor is there as well, having been ghouled by him. Most of Alice's interactions with Victor in this verse are seeing him being mistreated by LaCroix -- namely, being Dominated a LOT into saying what LaCroix wants him to say in conversations with his father regarding the company. Alice feels bad for the guy, and tries to keep his spirits up, which leads to them becoming friends. Maybe she even convinces LaCroix to let her take Victor out on the town or on less-dangerous missions occasionally, figuring he could use the break from his master.

Which means Alice and Victor still manage to bump into Victoria in Hollywood. LaCroix forces Victor to tell her about him, and he decides -- in a spirit of "goodwill" after Alice informs him of what Gary told her about the Giovanni having his sarcophagus -- that he'll give Victoria to them as a "present," escorted by Alice and Victor. Alice and Victor of course take a third option, and instead slaughter the Giovanni, discovering Emily and Lizzie in the basement. Victor begs Victoria and Emily to leave LA before LaCroix makes him do anything else that might hurt them -- they do so reluctantly. LaCroix, fortunately, isn't too angry about the whole mess, figuring either way he got what he wanted.

What he is angry about is Alice staying inconveniently alive when he's wanted her to die for quite a while now. After she survives both a werewolf attack and going up against Ming Xiao, he decides to hit her where it really hurts -- and while she's assaulting his tower headquarters, forces Victor to meet her outfitted in an explosive vest. (This sort of happens in the game too, only it's a random security guard.) Alice is horrified, but manages to use Dementation to reduce Victor to hysterically laughing too hard to set the vest off, and gets it off him before it can do him any harm. And then she soothes him with a drink of her own blood, which (thanks to their developing bond) counteracts some of LaCroix's influence -- they confront him together and Victor's the one who stabs him with the letter opener, instead of Alice as normal. They escape the tower before it explodes, collect Lizzie, and leave LA for Hill Valley, finding Victoria and Emily there. Once they're all set up, Victor pleads with Alice to blood-bond him to her -- and Alice, while still a little iffy on the whole thing, agrees that it's a lot better that he be hers than risking another master like LaCroix.

Double Kill: In my original AU, Alice ends up a vampire when she's tricked by local Malkavian Fish into coming by his place under the ruse that he's offering the apartment for sale. He attacks her and manages to Embrace her despite her fighting back. In this AU, however, there's another person there when this happens -- Victor! Here, Victor and Alice ended up seatmates on the plane to LA, got to talking, and developed a quick friendly bond. They get rooms in the same hotel -- and when Alice decides to check out Fish's place, she asks Victor to come along, since he's the closest person she has to a trusted friend or relative.

Unfortunately, Victor is unable to help her much when Fish decides to Embrace her -- he gets in one good shot with a lamp before Fish renders him helpless with laughter via Dementation. Then, pissed Victor tried to stop his masterwork, he basically throws him to the recently-vamped Alice with an "eat up!" Alice, starving, promptly drains her friend -- but then, horrified and not quite thinking clearly with all that's happened, tries to put the blood back in him by feeding it to him.

Result? Victor's now a vampire too! All three are apprehended shortly after his Embrace and brought before LaCroix. LaCroix's incredulous of Fish's claim that Alice Embraced Victor, until she admits she did so by accident. Fish is executed like normal, and Nines protests on behalf of both Victor and Alice, so LaCroix lets them both live.

...and that's where this one kind of stalls in the water, as I'm not sure what Victor's Malkavian mental illness would be. I'd like it to be related to his experiences in the Land of the Dead, but I can't come up with any good ideas. *wonders if Alice is deliberately blocking my creative impulses here because she doesn't want Victor to suffer as a vampire*

The Dark Goddess: In the original AU, Alice, at the end, realizes who the cab driver who seems to have been stalking her all across LA truly is -- Caine, the First Vampire. They have a short conversation, and Alice impresses on him her desire to just live with her little family of ghouls and sort-of-zombies, and then he takes her to suit up and kick ass, so to speak. In this AU, however, Alice makes an extra joke -- "You know, I could probably diablerize you right now and no one would know."

Caine's response? "What's stopping you?"

A stunned Alice quickly realizes he's serious -- if she drank him dry, he'd LET her. He admits he's tired of being alive and she's as good a successor to his nonsense as anybody. Alice debates with herself, but ultimately decides that if he really wants to hand the mantle over to her. . .

Cue a SHOCKWAVE going through the vampire community at large as their "God" is replaced by a "Goddess." Alice gains all of Caine's power and abilities, which includes access to EVERY discipline. She proceeds to happily WRECK Ming, the Sheriff, and LaCroix before calling a meeting of the LA Kindred and telling them to get their goddamn acts together. And then, still as sick of the politics as she was as an ordinary vampire, she goes to meet with her family in Hill Valley. Victor's gotten a heads-up as to her new state thanks to the voices that came along as a side-effect of drinking her Malkavian blood (they started calling her "Dark Goddess" instead of the usual "Dark Mistress") -- Alice reassures him and the others she's still Alice on the inside, and that she still loves them dearly. And the next time she visits Wonderland properly, instead of having it painted on the world around her, there's Caine, delighting in the fact that he can FINALLY enjoy the sunlight again. Sort of a best end there, I guess -- though I imagine Alice would also inherit Caine's curse of never being able to stay in one place too long, so they'd probably be moving on from Hill Valley sooner than in canon. Maybe they could do a world tour? :P

#londerland bloodlines #au #auception #this is my life and these are my choices #before anyone says 'there's no way she could fucking drain Caine the rule book says that the one rule for fighting him is You Lose'#I would imagine that's only if he's actively fighting back #this Caine doesn't want to #he wants the freedom of death damn it #he wasn't expecting Wonderland but he considers it a nice bonus #Victor as LaCroix's ghoul is the most thought out of the lot in my head #it involves a lot of angst #but at least it has a happy end #Victor as an oWoD vampire is probably better suited for World's Worst Ventrue but I'm not sure what to do with him like that either #think I should probably stick to making him a Sim vampire #queued

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reneeacaseyfl · 6 years ago

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The DeanBeat: Would politics make video games better?

As I watched my Facebook feed explode about President Donald Trump’s racist comments this week, I couldn’t help but notice that game developers are political creatures, just like everybody else. But if you looked at their games for political messages, you would think that they’re apolitical, concerned only with near-political game environments that don’t take a stand.

This subject flared up ever since Donald Trump was elected as the U.S. president, but his presidential misadventures have not yet inspired a masterful intertwining of art and politics in a video game. Perhaps we should not expect to see that happen because the interests of commerce rule the day. I hope we can overcome those interests because I believe that putting some form of higher meaning into video games is one way to make games as universally recognized as an art as other media.

Ted Price, CEO of Insomniac Games, took a stand against Trump’s Muslim ban in 2016, going so far as making a video expressing his company’s opposition to it. That was admirable. But there wasn’t a ton of contemporary political commentary disguised in a popular game made by Price’s studio, Marvel’s Spider-man.

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Spider-man probably wasn’t the right platform for political commentary. We have seen other games come close to dealing with the topics of white nationalism, yet they have fallen short. Ubisoft’s creative leaders say that games like Far Cry 5 (about a religious militia taking over Montana) and The Division 2 (about a secret military organization preventing the fall of Washington, D.C. after a plague) do not make political statements.

Machine Games, the creator of the Wolfenstein series, was surprised to stumble on a political opportunity in its remake of id Software’s classic Wolfenstein games, which take place in an alternate universe where the Nazis won World War II. Much like Amazon’s The Man in the High Castle TV show, the Nazis have overrun America and the Ku Klux Klan is now allied with them to make things worse.

Above: Sophia (left) and Jessica are the daughters of BJ Blazkowicz in Wolfenstein: Youngblood.

Image Credit: Bethesda

But did this storyline — extended with this month’s pending release of the co-op game Wolfenstein: Youngblood — have anything to do with the rise of the alt. right, Ferguson, Gamergate, Trump, Charlottesville, and this week’s events? Not really, said Jerk Gustafsson, executive producer of Wolfenstein: Youngblood at Sweden’s Machine Games, in an interview with GamesBeat.

“We started work on that story in 2014. It was quite a lot of time before the game actually came out, and a lot of things happened in those years. In that game, we wanted to tell the story of B.J. growing up, his childhood,” Gustafsson said. “It was a very dark story, with his abusive father and dark themes in general. And at the same time we wanted to tell a story about what happened if the Nazis won the war and took over the U.S. Since that happened around that time, especially with Charlottesville, it came to a point where we got a lot of, especially with interviews and talking to media — it led to a lot more discussions around the political aspect of it than we anticipated when we set out to do the game. That took us a bit by surprise.”

In other words, Wolfenstein comes close to being a social commentary on Trump’s presidency and the parallels that many liberals see to the Nazi’s in his apparent comfort with white nationalists. But that’s an accident. The prescient storyline was … accidental. Those of us who really liked the parallels were just giving the writers too much credit for boldness.

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The same goes for 2016’s Deus Ex: Mankind Divided, which depicted a world divided between “natural” humans and “augs,” or people augmented with cybernetic technology. Square Enix said that the similarity of the game’s slogan, “Augs Lives Matters,” was simply an “unfortunate coincidence,” versus the real world slogan Black Lives Matter, as The New Yorker reported.

Once in a while, we get a game that is overtly political. In 2012, Spec-Ops: The Line acknowledged the horrors of war in a way that video games rarely do. Detroit: Become Human was set in Detroit and it clearly showed how bad it would for humans to create human-like androids and enslave them, as African Americans were once enslaved.

“Am I worried about technology in general? Yes. I’m more worried about human beings than about machines, though. It’s not a coincidence that in Detroit, we made the choice that the good guys are the androids and the bad guys are human,” said David Cage, cofounder of Quantic Dream, creator of Detroit, in an interview.

Above: Spec-Ops: The Line

Image Credit: Yager/2K

Such games are often criticized as too political, and not fun. Many fans, particularly those sympathetic to Gamergate, view the critics who want these games as “social justice warriors,” a pejorative term.

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare will likely be controversial for the level of realistic violence it depicts, as well as the blurring of the line between soldiers and civilians in modern war. Studio director Taylor Kurosaki declared that the game was “ripped from the headlines” and was created to show “the world we are living in today,” Kurosaki said.

And some games introduce politics accidentally.

Amazon recently showed off New World, a game about the colonization of a new continent. But instead of fighting off native Americans, the colonists — who are the good guys — fight zombie-like creatures. Some critics noted that this sanitization of colonialism’s ugly reality was racist in itself, as it dehumanized the native Americans into beings that were easy to kill.

Above: Zombies in the New World!

Image Credit: Amazon

This takes me back to my days as an English major, when my professors posed questions about whether great works of literature had multiple layers of meaning, like The Wasteland (clearly, T.S. Eliot’s famous poem had those layers). But should they have political layers? Arthur Miller’s The Crucible, about the Salem witch trials, was surely inspired by McCarthyism’s Red Scare. Upton Sinclair’s The Jungle was a condemnation of the capitalist overlords of the meat-packing industry.

Sometimes this added layer of meaning makes us feel like the game is worth studying, and lots of game development programs in colleges are doing just that. That’ probably why The New Yorker and The Guardian wrote about politics in games this year. But does that diminish the fun layer? Or does it hurt the commercial potential of the game?

For sure, publishers are shying away from declaring that games have political intent because they want the game to have the widest potential audience. If only anti-Trump gamers bought Wolfenstein: Youngblood, then that would be a travesty for Bethesda’s bottom line. But this fear ignores another fact: We can outgrow the tropes of video game stories, and some of us want something like HBO. I’ll take a show like Chernobyl over a lot of feel-good television.

Above: Orwell: Ignorance is Strength is the second season in the surveillance game.

Image Credit: Osmotic Studios

I acknowledge that the main object is to make games fun, and I don’t hate video games that are made just to be fun. But I put myself in the camp of social justice warriors. Let those game developers who want to do so express their political views in transparent ways, even if their bosses want to shut them up. I sincerely wish that the crazy politics of Donald Trump would inspire someone to create a beautiful metaphorical treatment that gives us all some clarity about what all of this means.

I wish we could have someone in the game industry emerge, like George Orwell with 1984, or like the antiwar songs that emerged during Vietnam, to show us the way. We have some hope, as one small indie game studio, Osmotic Studios, was inspired to create a PC game called Orwell in 2013 — in the wake of Edward Snowden’s disclosures — about a surveillance society.

But that game hasn’t made as much impact as it might have, and it doesn’t have the kind of big-budget that the largest publishers can throw at a game. I would hate to think that indies are the only ones who can afford to take a stand. But I am grateful that they are there as a counterbalance to the deafening silence from the big game companies.

I believe that I’m raising a lot of questions without many answers here. But I hope to address them in panels that I may be moderating at Devcom in Cologne, Germany, and at Game Daily Connect in Anaheim. I hope you can help me find some answers.

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velmaemyers88 · 6 years ago

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The DeanBeat: Would politics make video games better?

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Above: Sophia (left) and Jessica are the daughters of BJ Blazkowicz in Wolfenstein: Youngblood.

Image Credit: Bethesda

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Above: Spec-Ops: The Line

Image Credit: Yager/2K

And some games introduce politics accidentally.

Above: Zombies in the New World!

Image Credit: Amazon

Above: Orwell: Ignorance is Strength is the second season in the surveillance game.

Image Credit: Osmotic Studios

Credit: Source link

The post The DeanBeat: Would politics make video games better? appeared first on WeeklyReviewer.

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weeklyreviewer · 6 years ago

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The DeanBeat: Would politics make video games better?

youtube

Above: Sophia (left) and Jessica are the daughters of BJ Blazkowicz in Wolfenstein: Youngblood.

Image Credit: Bethesda

youtube

Above: Spec-Ops: The Line

Image Credit: Yager/2K

And some games introduce politics accidentally.

Above: Zombies in the New World!

Image Credit: Amazon

Above: Orwell: Ignorance is Strength is the second season in the surveillance game.

Image Credit: Osmotic Studios

Credit: Source link

The post The DeanBeat: Would politics make video games better? appeared first on WeeklyReviewer.

from WeeklyReviewer https://weeklyreviewer.com/the-deanbeat-would-politics-make-video-games-better/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=the-deanbeat-would-politics-make-video-games-better

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barbosaasouza · 7 years ago

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Best Deals of the Steam Lunar New Year Sale

The Steam Lunar New Year Sale has begun, kicking off a whole lot of hurt for our wallets as game prices are slashed. It feels like we’ve only just finished the Steam Winter Sales, and with Steam Summer Sales around the corner, I don’t know where I’m going to get the funds to support my habit of purchasing games to sit on my virtual shelf.

However, out of all the games available at a discounted price, there are quite a few that are worth picking up to actually play and experience. If you’re looking for something to sink your teeth into, any of the following titles are well worth picking up while the Steam Lunar New Year Sale lasts.

Assassin’s Creed Origins – $44.85 (from $66.95)

Ubisoft’s latest venture into the Assassin’s Creed series is probably their best since Assassin’s Creed II. Assassin’s Creed Origins is so good, I’ve been covering it non-stop since it released way back in October 2017. While the $44.85 price point might seem on the expensive end of the spectrum, there is well over 100 hours of gameplay packed into the ancient Egypt setting.

Dark Souls 3 – $14.99 (from $59.99)

You want to talk about Dark Souls? Good. Dark Souls 3 is a the culmination of five years’ worth of storytelling, and is currently on sale for an outrageously cheap price on Steam. If you’ve been waiting for a good time to experience the notoriously challenging series, there’s no better time than the present. For those Nintendo Switch owners out there, Dark Souls will be heading to the hybrid console in a remastered version.

7 Days to Die – $9.49 (from $24.99)

A bit of classic survival horror, with a whole lot of crafting. 7 Days to Die is best experienced with a group of friends. Get together, gather resources, prepare your defences, and try not to die.

Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus – $29.97 (from $59.95)

I would lose the respect of my peers if I did not include Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus in this list of best deals of the Steam Lunar New Year Sale. Bill wrote our review for the game at the end of last year, and since then, he’s been banging on about how much I need to play it. Now that it’s reduced by 50%, I have no reason not to get it, and neither do you.

Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes – $5.99 (from $14.99)

Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes burst onto the online scene a couple of years ago, offering gamers an interesting mixture of cooperative experience and puzzle game. This is the perfect video game for parties, as everyone has to work together in order to defuse a bomb. It gets pretty intense when you need to flip through a 20-something page bomb defusal manual in order to find the puzzle you need to work on.

Hollow Knight – $9.89 (from $14.99)

Though describing games as “the such-and-such of Dark Souls” is plain lazy, the influence of Dark Souls cannot be ignored with Hollow Knight. Produced in Australia, this humble 2D platformer manages to combine exploration and imposing boss fights into the limited dimensions available. While never unfair, Hollow Knight is certainly challenging, and well-worth picking up.

Rainbow Six Siege – $41.61 (from $59.45)

Rainbow Six Siege was going to be my other suggestion for come back of the year, because Ubisoft really managed to turn it around and deliver one of the best asymmetrical multiplayer experiences of modern gaming. Five counter-terrorists go up against five terrorists, where the goal is either to secure the hostage, disarm the bomb, or eliminate the threats. Rounds are fast paced, and often come down to making impressive shots through the smallest gaps possible.

Forts – $11.24 (from $14.99)

Developed in Brisbane, Australia, Forts is a unique take on the RTS genre, in fact, it’s about as un-RTS-looking as it gets. Two players face-off over a gorge, with the main goal being to create a fort, throw in some weapons, and ensure the destruction of your enemy. It's as if Worms decided to tussle with Age of Empires. Definitely worth it at a little over ten dollars.

DOOM – $14.97 (from $29.95)

DOOM was probably my favorite game from 2016. Everything about this reboot screamed adrenaline. Sprinting down hallways, firing a double-barrel shotgun into the face of demons, then smashing your first through a demon’s back only to rip out its spine and attack the next monstrosity was pure, gory, bliss. With a $15 price point during the Steam Lunar New Year sale, it’s an absolute must-buy for anyone who’s still missing this from their collection. Be sure to check out David's review from 2016 if you're still on the fence!

Rocket League – $11.99 (from $19.99)

In the latest ShackCast, our fearless leader Asif spoke about his time playing Rocket League, so if there’s one way you can do it for Shacknews, it’s by picking up a copy of Rocket League. For those who’ve been living under a rock, this is basically soccer (or football for our tea-sippin’ brethren) mixed with bumper-cars.

ARK: Survival Evolved – $19.79 (from $59.99)

ARK: Survival Evolved has recently seen its full release, and since then, players have been experiencing the phenomenal world created by the team over at Studio Wildcard. This game mixes survival and crafting with dinosaur hunting and sci-fi goodness. For those PC players still awaiting the release of Monster Hunter: World, ARK will certainly scratch that itch.

The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt – Game of the Year Edition – $19.99 (from $49.99)

The Witcher 3 is probably one of the greatest games ever released. If it was released in 2017, it might have given The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild a run for its money as Shacknews Game of the Year. Witcher 3 has it all: excellent storytelling, phenomenal visuals, enticing quests, believable characters, engaging combat. For a mere $20, you’re getting one of the greatest RPGs of modern gaming.

Honorable Mentions:

Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice - $20.99

Stardew Valley - $11.99

The Long Dark - $17.49

This War of Mine - $5.99

They Are Billions - $22.49

Cities Skylines - $7.49

Left 4 Dead 2 - $1.99

Getting Over It - $6.39

Planet Coaster - $11.24

Darkest Dungeon - $9.99

Tabletop Simulator - $9.99

Cuphead - $16.99

Hacktag - $14.99

Broforce - $3.74

Stellaris - $15.99

The Steam Lunar New Year Sale won’t be around for long, in fact, it will be ending on February 19th. Before that time comes, make sure you get the games you know you’re going to need while you wait for other excellent games to launch this year. Let me know in Chatty what you plan on picking up!

Featured image by franz888 on Deviant Art

Best Deals of the Steam Lunar New Year Sale published first on https://superworldrom.tumblr.com/

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inbonobo · 8 years ago

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awesome article that really hits close - I spent all of my millions. This is what I learned

I have written about how I became a multi-millionaire at 27, and what that taught me. I was at a meditation retreat recently, when it became clear to me that I had to write this story about how I spent nearly all of that money, and what I learned in the process. I felt somewhat scared of writing this story. It felt like a kind of confession: I’m not as rich as you think I am, and I’ve made a lot of mistakes.

At age 33, I was working from home in the U.K. I lived in Brighton, a beautiful town on the South Coast, by the English Channel. I had never visited the U.K. office of my employer. I could have travelled and worked anywhere in the world. I was being paid around $200,000 per year ($220,000 to $240,000 in today’s money). I owned a five bedroom house outright, a house in a sought-after area. I was continually getting lucrative stock-option grants that supplemented my annual income by tens or hundreds of thousands per year.

I tracked my work hours carefully, and I found that I was working around twenty hours per week. In spite of this, my performance continually and consistently led to me being ranked and rated by management in the top five percent of the employees at the company. However, I still felt guilty, and thought that I was not working enough.

I was highly regarded by my peers; I was told that my engineering prowess was legendary at the company HQ in California. Earlier in my career there, I had been walking along a corridor when I heard one of the co-founders of the company say to someone from HR, “Duncan is a god!” I stopped in my tracks and quickly turned to walk away, hoping that I could avoid him the presumed embarrassment of knowing that I had heard what he said.

I also had additional cash and investments that amounted to somewhere between 1.5 and 2 million dollars. I’m telling you all this not to brag, but to let you know how blessed my life appeared to be from an outside perspective.

By this point, I had just finalized a painful divorce, a divorce that was not by my choosing. I had settled my alimony and other obligations with my ex-wife by leaving her with over one million dollars in cash and other assets. I felt at the time that this was unfair, because I had generated most of our wealth single-handedly before our son had been conceived, our son who was four at the time.

I had become disheartened with my work. After having spent years becoming a world-class computer architect, I wasn’t finding my work challenging enough. I wasn’t learning enough new things. For years, I had supplemented my learning at work by getting a master’s degree in Electrical Engineering from Stanford University in my spare time. That was now completed. I also wanted to have a greater influence in the world. As a manager, I had already realized that the hardest problems at work were not technical, but emotional and relational. People struggled with their personal lives, with motivation, and with finding meaning. I wanted to motivate people.

I felt that my life course needed to change, but I didn’t know how. I wrote an email to the CEO of the S&P500 company that I worked for, the same company that I had worked for since it was as struggling start-up, “You seem to know what you’re doing, and I’m wondering if you can help me to get clarity.” His assistant scheduled a meeting with me.

I knew that it was a privilege to get a meeting with this man, who I consider a friend, so I started preparing. I created lots of lists with titles like, “what I’m good at,” “what I’m interested in,” “what I definitely don’t want to spend my time doing,” and “what is meaningful to me.”

A day or so before meeting with the CEO, I was taking a shower when I realized that I wanted to be a motivational speaker, lead workshops, and write books. I thought that I needed to get a PhD in psychology to do this.

When I met with the CEO, I told him that I had already figured out what I wanted to do. I wanted to quit my job and get a PhD in Clinical Psychology. He told me that I should follow my heart, and that the money would take care of itself. He said that I would never have a problem getting a job in Silicon Valley, and he said that I could come back and work there full time or part time anytime I wanted. I really appreciated him saying that, and I have carried those words with me over the past decade.

I enrolled in a PhD program at a small professional psychology school in Palo Alto, California, and I started my journey of getting a PhD. At the time the school was called The Institute of Transpersonal Psychology. That was in the fall of 2007, almost ten years ago. In those ten years, I have also spent or lost most of the financial wealth I had. I lost a large chunk in the 2008 market crash, and the rest was spent in living for ten years without any income. It’s been a long decade, and I have learned a lot. I have learned a lot partly because of the mistakes I have made since I quit my job, and I have also learned a lot by reflecting on my life before I quit my job.

Before I really get started, part of me wants you to know how busy I’ve been in those ten years. I want you to know that I haven’t been lazing around. Here are some of the things I’ve been up to:

Three years of full time psychology classes

Two years of clinical practicum (giving people therapy for free)

Two years of pre-doctoral internship (giving more people therapy for free)

Preparing and filing a US patent application

Self-representing in a UK patent dispute

Several legal battles related to maintaining and increasing contact with my son

Building a mobile app business (2.5 years)

Traveling and living around the world

Executing a randomized, double-blind, placebo-controlled research study for my PhD

Getting lots of therapy and coaching, and attending many self-development workshops and retreats.

I remember saying to my mother on the phone, “I’m going to finish this PhD, and I’ll do it even if I have to use up all the equity in my house.” Well, here I am. I built the research devices and the web app to collect data. I have done the statistical analysis and the thematic analysis. I have a dissertation ready to be reviewed by my committee. As I am writing this my money is running out, and here are some of the things I have learned.

We’re always taking the best choices on our menus

I have found myself looking back at choices I made that I now see as being non-optimal. I have a tendency to beat myself up for making what seemed like a bad decision. It is very hard to put ourselves into the shoes of another — or even into the shoes of our past self — and understand why we made the choices we did. What we can know is that everyone is continually making the best choices they have on their inner menus.

As you read the following, it’s sometimes going to look like I’m beating myself up. I’m mostly trying to be aware of what could have been, and attempting to learn from it. I hope that I can learn, and I hope you can learn as well.

Put yourself in the path of money

The amount of money you make is not related to how hard you work, or even how much value you add. Money is flowing all around us. You make money in proportion to how much you place yourself in the flow of value transfer.

Position yourself where there is a flow of money, and facilitate it. You might also find a place where there is a potential flow of money, and create or increase the flow.

Surf big waves

Making a lot of money is like surfing. You sit in the ocean and look out to sea, looking for waves to form. You watch as waves rise up and then break. You start to anticipate how and where waves will form, and you start to paddle in that direction. As a wave approaches, you align yourself with the direction that the wave is moving, and then you begin paddling really intensely. As you feel the mighty push from behind, you jump up onto the board, and ride it for as long as possible.

You’re going to wipe-out, fall off, and face plant. This is part of the process of surfing, and particularly learning to surf. When you come off, you paddle back out to catch another wave. You don’t try to catch the wave you just fell from; that one’s done. You are learning the skill of surfing. The swell continues to come in, and the contours of sand on the bottom of the ocean will continue to throw up big waves.

“Wiping out is an underappreciated skill.” — Laird Hamilton

I made a lot of money riding on the PC wave, even while my friends were making much more on the Internet wave. Which wave I rode was an arbitrary and unconscious choice. I could just as easily have been on the Internet wave. A while back, I read a book called Bold by Peter Diamandis, which lists the current exponential technologies. These are technologies that are growing exponentially. Their growth may be almost invisible now, but they will suddenly explode, as did the PC, the Internet, and social media. I decided that I would consciously get on one of the waves he listed. As a problem solver, I chose artificial intelligence because when we solve the problem of super-intelligence—intelligence that is far greater than that of humans—all the other problems will be solved by it.

It’s never too late to learn to surf. It’s never too late to get better at surfing. It’s never too late to catch a big wave.

Consider all your options

I quit my job to get a PhD in psychology because I thought that this would enable me to lead workshops, do talks, and write books. I now understand that I could have done all of those things without a PhD. In any case, I didn’t need to quit my job to get a PhD. I had enough spare time, and freedom, to have studied and continued to work.

I also could have taken a more gentle transition. Instead of making a 100% switch from engineering to psychology, I could have got a master’s degree in counseling psychology in the evenings. Then I could have learned more about the field, and about how I fitted into it. I could have taken small, experimental steps.

I also now see how much freedom I had. I could have travelled around the world and worked remotely from exotic locations.

Ask yourself what you would like

Often the thing that you need in each moment is very simple. Perhaps you need to hear that your partner loves you. Perhaps you need to spend an hour with an old friend. Perhaps you need a walk around the block. I have had a tendency to think that when something was wrong, something really massive was wrong. I have a tendency to catastrophize. Perhaps you don’t really need to quit your job and head for a totally new career.

I have many more resources than I did ten years ago, including a much greater capacity for discomfort and uncertainty. I recommend developing equanimity through daily vipassana meditation, and getting the facilitation of a skilled coach to get clarity about what you actually need right now.

Obtain and preserve assets

People from old money learn to “never spend the principal.” This is an approach to retaining wealth, even if it means living with temporary lack. I spent ten years without any real income, and I spent the principal.

Some people spend their entire lives paying off mortgages in order to own just one home. There was a time when I owned three houses on two different continents, at least two of them mortgage-free. Now I don’t own any real estate.

I look back and realize that if I had kept my capital and invested it in index funds, and continued to work, I would now have so much wealth that I would never have to work again. I could live by taking such a small piece of the gains in the assets that the principal would continue to grow at a faster pace than inflation. I also recently realized that if I had left all of my wealth in the original company that it came from, I would now have around $35 million.

Instead, I have to work again. I have to generate income using my time and energy. It has been hard for me to accept this, but I have to remember that I made the best choices I could at the time.

Buy things you love and will use

For most of my adult life, I have been able to buy whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. I have bought a lot of stuff. I have tended to buy many things that I never use.

Recently, we have been purging our things by following the Konmari method, as described in the book called The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up. I enjoy selling things on eBay, or via Craigslist. I enjoy providing really high quality customer service with fast shipping. We have converted much of our stored junk into thousands of dollars in cash. I also love to see things going to people who will use them, rather than putting more stuff into the landfill. This process has made me much more aware of my purchasing habits, and much less likely to make impulse purchases.

Over the past few years, because of a general sense of not wanting to waste resources, I have become much more discerning about buying things. When I think I need something, I spend a lot of time reading reviews on Amazon, and looking for the best quality item. I also see if I can get by without it. I have various wish-lists where I record things. Those items rarely turn into purchases.

The things I do buy now tend to get well used, and treasured. As I write this, I’m wearing a pair of Bose noise cancelling headphones, which I have used the crap out of. At home, I have a sit/stand desk with an oak top that I took from a dining table. I made that desk, and I’ve used it most days for the past 13 years. Objects that we buy are tools that we use to live our lives.

Buy things you can trash

If you cannot trash it, then you shouldn’t have it. Things you buy are just tools. I once bought a car that cost me $80,000. The base price was $40,000, and I added $40,000 of options. I ended up selling it two years later for $40,000. During those two years, I worried all the time about it getting dented or scratched. One day, I might have a car that costs me over $100,000, but I won’t do that until my net worth is at least 1,000 times that: $100 million.

A car is a tool

Cars depreciate. They are not investments. It doesn’t matter if you finance or lease. It’s going to work out roughly the same either way. A reasonably functional car costs about the same every year, when averaged out over a few years. Some people regularly buy new cars because then they don’t have to pay for expensive repairs, but a new car depreciates rapidly. Sometimes when I take my old car in for a service, it needs some expensive work. I remember that the cost of those repairs and services over the year average out to the cost of owning a car.

Get unstuck

I used to get stuck and not know what to do. I didn’t even realize that I was stuck. I’ve now had enough therapy and coaching, and breakthroughs from meditation, that I know that being stuck is good. Embrace being stuck. Enjoy being confused. Find a really good coach and let them support you in getting clarity. All the time you resist being stuck, or pretend to yourself that you’re not stuck, or think that you can “do it myself,” you will stay stuck.

Be okay with not knowing

There’s a lot of value in being confused and in not knowing the answers. When I went to meet with the CEO of my company, I automatically tried to figure out the answers in advance. I now realize that I missed a massive opportunity. I could have gone into that meeting and told him, “I’m really confused. I’ve just been through a massively painful divorce, and I feel like my life has lost its meaning. All I know is that I want to do something with my life that’s more meaningful, and I want to influence more people.” That conversation could have led anywhere, and I could have got the real benefit of working with my friend, and letting him help me. That conversation could have blossomed into a powerful collaboration. Instead, I made sure I had all the answers before I spoke with him.

You don’t need qualifications

I now have two master’s degrees, and I’m about to get a PhD. Many times during my PhD process, I wanted to start a business, and I held myself back until I finished my PhD. At one point, I wanted to get an MBA, and I talked with a friend about it. The answer I got was that I didn’t need an MBA to start a business. I still proceeded with my PhD. I did take a break from my PhD, while still paying tuition, to work on an app business, but that didn’t work out.

Very early on in my PhD process, I was tired of researching and writing long and complex papers that I would not be paid for, and which often would barely be read. Yet I persisted with my PhD. This was partly because I tend to persist with things I start. Once I commit to something, I tend to find it very hard to change direction.

I suspect that part of me places formal qualifications in the way of my success. I feel that I have to get some external validation that I am qualified or capable to do something. In fact, I can coach people effectively without a PhD in psychology. I can do all the things I originally set out to do without qualifications. I can deliver talks, write books, and lead workshops right now, and I could before I even started on my PhD program.

Lifelong learning is now free

Maybe I had to get three graduate degrees to realize this. Most days I study now, and I do it outside of the framework of any externally-defined study plan. I’m getting (another) world-class education, on my terms, for free.

One example is my process of becoming a world-class expert in AI. This is one of my goals, and the way I’m currently approaching it is to take all the Stanford graduate-level classes in AI. Having gotten a master’s degree in Electrical Engineering (and CS) from Stanford, I know exactly what it’s like to go through those classes, when enrolled.

Even now I’m not enrolled at Stanford, I can watch the videos of the class I’m taking right now on YouTube. I can read the syllabus and download the slides to follow along. I can read all the documents, including the assignments. One of the most effective ways that I learn is by doing. Working through these assignments on my own is just as effective as doing them while enrolled in a degree program.

Beyond the massive amounts of free classes from top universities, many sites like Udemy and Coursera offer free and almost free classes in every subject. With an investment of only your time, attention, and curiosity, you can become an expert in anything you choose.

Get good at pivoting

Within a year or two of starting my PhD in Clinical Psychology I knew that I didn’t want to become a licensed Clinical Psychologist. I had many business ideas, and I also found myself becoming interested in organizational psychology, law, and business. I thought about getting a JD or an MBA, or starting a business, but I kept persisting with my PhD. One of my weaknesses is sticking with things that aren’t right for me. Being aware of this tendency enables me to watch out for it, and to consciously and bravely pivot when necessary.

Bite off small projects

My PhD was a massive project that took ten years. I made it way more complex and challenging than it needed to be. Instead of doing the bare minimum to get a PhD, I create a gold-standard clinical trial, along with two adjunct engineering projects. My PhD project was at a scale that would cost hundreds of thousands or millions of dollars when properly funded.

I am now determined to commit to much smaller projects, and to break larger projects down into easily completable pieces. It feels great to complete something. Once a piece is complete, and I have run the experiment associated with it, I can re-evaluate if I want to proceed with the larger project.

This is very much in the vein of the lean startup approach. I believe that it makes sense to run your whole life on the lean startup model. Always be figuring out simple experiments that you can run and get data from. Always be ready to pivot.

Avoid litigation

Even if you win a lawsuit, the cost in time and stress is usually not worth it. I have spent years going through court to try to get “justice,” or trying to get what’s best for everyone. Now that I’ve done this a few times, I understand the true cost of it. I understand that winning often looks like walking away. When you’re in a lawsuit, it’s with you all day, every day. It wears you down. It takes a lot more to get me involved in a lawsuit than it used to.

Even then when technically and legally you should win, there can be forces acting behind the scenes that lead to you losing. In my patent litigation, since the judge’s decision did not match the evidence or arguments, I suspect that some lord at the head of the patent office spoke with some lord at the head of my undergraduate university, and strings were pulled to protect the university.

Also, a court of law is not a place to resolve family issues. In law, there is a winner and a loser. In a family, that paradigm does not apply. What most people want for their family is health, wealth, harmony, and happiness. If you can’t get this outside of a court, you will certainly not get it inside a court.

Mindfulness is primary

A couple of summers back, my wife and I were staying in Biarritz in the South of France. While there, I was working on my app business. I had estimated that the business would produce around $1.4 million per year for me, once we got our subscription model working. Having burned through a lot of my wealth, and having worked for free for around 2.5 years, I was looking forward to turning my cashflow around.

During this time, I realized that we were never going to make it, and that I needed to focus my energy on getting my PhD complete. I needed to stop investing in this business that was not going anywhere. I quit the business. Even though I was in a beautiful place, with great weather, and I had a surfboard, I went into a deep depression.

My wife, Cindy, signed me up for a 10-day Vipassana retreat for when we got back to the U.S. This was to be my second 10-day retreat. During that retreat, I came out of my depression, and I realized that I needed to keep practicing every day. I became free of depression and anxiety, and I have meditated between 30 and 120 minutes per day for years now. I have been on a third 10-day retreat since then, and will go on a fourth later this year.

Vipassana meditation, which is an industrial-strength form of mindfulness meditation, is foundational for me. It’s one of the most important things I do every day. It changes my relationship with reality. It enables me to see the world, and my place in it, clearly. I recommend signing up for a free 10-day retreat near you.

Money isn’t everything

Sometimes I look at my contemporaries who stayed on the same path, and I feel envy. Some are CEOs, venture capital partners, and distinguished engineers. Most of them are wealthy, with multiple homes. If I had stayed working, I would be wealthy and distinguished. Instead, financially, I am almost back at square-one.

Then I remember how I felt when I quit my job, and I realize that it would not have been a happy path. I can’t know for certain how my contemporaries feel, but I understand how warped I would have grown. Instead, I spent these ten years investing in myself, deepening my relationship with myself, and learning to live a balanced life.

My wife believes that I have intentionally used up the money from the first phase of my life, and flushed out that energy, in order to make space for a fresh start. This resonates with me. I have immense goals for my life, and I feel that I have created a solid foundation for them inside myself, in my intimate relationship with my wife, and with my solid tribe.

Going forward, I will thrive in life at a level that would not have been possible if I had not gone through this process of purging and recalibration.

Summary

I hope that all of this experience will fuel and support the next phase of my life. I believe that my experience with this relatively small amount of money has positioned me to handle the much larger amounts of money coming my way. I hope that you too have been able to learn something from, and benefit from, my experience.

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