#so i can't even blame the audience for forgetting about them completely

[thenationofzaun]

"Ekko lost everything in the end, his ideal timeline, his girlfriend, his mentor. He saved the world but was left with nothing😭"

The Firelights: ...

[vi-gilante-1010]

The beauty of timebomb as a ship for me before season 2 was that it was doomed to never work out. Jinx and Ekko were so close as kids, they pranked enforcers and built things together and had that childhood crush that's so powerful at the time because it's your first ever crush. But they grew into such opposite people. Jinx devolved into a self-serving maniac that bombed and attacked for her own fun and for the people she cared about, while Ekko became someone who fights for the safety of all Zaun, saddled with a sense of responsibility to build a life that people could feel safe in. Ekko builds to heal, while Jinx builds to destroy. They're opposites, but they once mattered so much to each other. Ekko is the one person from her childhood she didn't kill because she pushed him away. Powder is the one he had to watch due before his eyes in her transformation to Jinx. It's tragic and it's beautiful and it's the epitome of season 1's tragedy: it's what could've been.

Then season 2 arc 3 came and well. It's a little less beautiful now. Introducing some alternate universe that blames the arcane magic for everything that went wrong, but simultaneously shows peace and prosperity as gentrification, with all of Zaun's uniqueness and culture eradicated and absorbed by Piltover culture. And it's in this world where Timebomb is canon. It could happen, if only she'd lost her sister earlier! If only Silco hadn't been a revolutionary! And then Ekko, without much explanation, beelines for Jinx. Not for the tree he was supposedly trying to save, not for his unnamed friends, not even for Jayce's lab. He goes to Jinx. And he saves her- off screen, of course, can't have the actual heartfelt connection between them happen in front of the audience- and they paint all over each other and go to fight Ambessa, because gotta have them in the fight, I guess. And then she "dies" anyway, which does double down on the 'they're doomed' idea but forgets the reason why they were doomed in the first place. She'd MURDERED plenty of Fire lights, his friends, his allies. And we're just forgetting all that because the All Problems Are Solved au Powder danced with him in a pretty dress? Sure, yeah, okay, whatever.

The tree, Ekko's safe haven he'd worked so hard to build, the Fire lights as a whole are forgotten by the narrative. At best, they and the Jinxers are treated like one and the same by the end, which is silly because they should for all intents and purposes be rivals, if not flat out enemies. The tragedy is altered to be more palatable because look, they still live each other after all this time! But it severely waters down Ekko's resolve as a character and makes his growth contingent on her, yet also maintains the part where he's solely responsible for the future of Zaun and the safety of everyone by having him force himself to the brink to kill Viktor, and then he's alone. Alone, with no friends. The Fire lights were never valued enough by the narrative to have names. His and VI's relationship is completely dropped from season 2 as a whole. Jinx and Heimerdinger both fake their deaths and abandon him. We don't see the safe haven he poured his life into, we didn't see whether the tree survived or not. All we get is Ekko, alone on a roof in Zaun. The only Zaunite to not leave or die.

This was originally a timebomb post. But damn if Ekko wasn't done dirty. It's like everything he did was for nothing, and not even in a way that's tragic but satisfying to the narrative. We don't get to see the end results of either of the major points in his arc. We never find out what happened to the tree. We don't see him reconnect with Jinx. News flash, season 2: in order to cry 'show don't tell' for your characters, you have to actually show stuff. "Show don't tell" + "intentional omission" = "really well-animated nothing burger"

(This post was initially written before the timebomb MV. So I wanna go on record and say that that MV didn't help at all. I think it's a nice MV, but it makes Jinx's choice to disappear more confusing by doubling down on Ekko being her safe place, and is unequal in that it's all about Jinx's feelings and how Ekko is her saviour. Not a fan. And if that's supposed to be the reconnection of Jinx and Ekko, then why didn't we actually get that in the show? Bonus content is bonus; you shouldn't have to have it for the story to feel satisfying.)

[andreal831]

I’ll always wish we had more of Henrik in TVD and TO. His death was such a pivotal event for the Mikaelson family—so devastating that it drove their parents to perform the ritual that turned them into the first vampires. That single moment shaped everything about their lives, yet it feels like Henrik has been completely erased from their story.

The most baffling part is that no one ever talks about him. Ever. It’s like he’s a taboo subject, which makes no sense considering how much his death impacted them all, especially Klaus. When I first watched TVD, I was surprised by the lack of mention, though I understood—there was already so much happening. But then in TO ? Still nothing. Not a word about who Henrik was, what he was like, or even the memories they might have had of him. It’s as if he never existed, which is wild considering he’s the reason their lives turned out the way they did.

Klaus, of all people, should’ve talked about him. His death was a huge part of Klaus’s trauma, yet during his therapy sessions with Cami, it’s never brought up. Why? That would’ve been such a natural and emotional moment to explore, but it’s just ignored. Worse, I don’t even think Hope knows about Henrik, her uncle. How does that make sense? This isn’t just a missed opportunity—it’s bad writing. Henrik was the catalyst for their transformation into vampires and everything that followed, yet the show treats him like an afterthought.

Even Freya, who wasn’t there when Henrik died, might not know about him. Maybe Elijah or Rebekah told her off-screen, but we’re never shown that. There’s so much lost potential here. They could’ve done so much with Henrik, even if it was just through memories or flashbacks. Maybe they could’ve brought him back somehow. Idk, but it would’ve been so interesting… :/

It’s frustrating because his death is such a fundamental part of their mythology, yet the show seems to forget about it entirely. Henrik deserved more than just being the unnamed tragedy that changed everything. It bugs me to no end that the writers didn’t explore this.

I see both sides of this.

To us, the audience, it is a pivotal piece of the Mikaelsons lore, but to them, it happened over 1,000 years ago. They've lived ten lifetimes since they lost their kid brother. They mention him when they mention their childhood, but they don't talk about that a lot. I can imagine they probably don't remember a lot of it. Not only was it a long time ago, but it was a childhood filled with trauma. Children who experience abuse often have times remembering their childhood. We know they do remember parts of it and remember Henrik, but it's likely difficult to recall a lot of it. It's also still painful to think back to that time. They were the happiest when they were human and then they lost their brother and their humanity one after the other.

I also think Klaus would be the least likely to bring up Henrik out of all of his siblings. Especially in "therapy." He never used his sessions with Cami as therapy, rather "writing his memoir." He framed himself in a way that he was always in the right. Even when he discussed his terrible crimes, he had excuses. But his actions with Henrik, he is why Henrik was killed. I'm not blaming him. He was young and made a mistake, but he can't spin that. Talking about Henrik's death would make him the reason the next 1,000 years happened. He can't blame Esther and Mikael for binding his werewolf side, he can't blame Elijah for compelling Aurora, he can't blame Mikael for hunting them. It was his actions that started the domino effect that led him to become the monster he tries to pretend he didn't create.

I think it's natural for the writers to not focus on Henrik since it wouldn't add to the story. We already got enough of the lore to understand the impact Henrik had on the family, the show wasn't going to waste time talking about him, even if it would feel organic for the family to talk about him.

I could see Elijah struggling to talk about him because he felt responsible. He likely felt he should have made sure Henrik and Klaus were safe before the full moon. I think it would be hard because he likely helped raise Henrik. He was old enough to remember Henrik's whole life. I hc, that Henrik was the closest thing to a son Elijah ever got. Elijah also struggles to talk about emotional topics. He wouldn't bring up the topic unless prompted.

Rebekah I could see talking about him. Especially to Freya. I would think Freya would ask her siblings about their lives and Rebekah would make sure to tell her about Henrik. Kol may add a story or two but he wasn't one to dwell on the past. Or to sit down and share family stories.

The fandom really likes the idea of Henrik and where the story could have gone, but I understand why the writers didn't go any deeper. It didn't add anything to the plot. Unless they were going to bring him back somehow, we didn't need to know more. I wish we had a lot more of their childhood, and just flashbacks in general, but the show only had so much time.

I wouldn't want them to bring Henrik back because I think it would be clunky. He would be a child and that would just be a mess. I like to think he was at peace that whole time and not stuck in some other plane for a thousand years. He was just a kid, he deserved to rest.

Thanks for the ask!

[sapphic-agent]

I keep seeing post about BNHA's missed potencial and about how it's one of the few stories out there to pit abuse victims against each other and yeah. Absolutely agree. No comments there. But I haven't seen it pointed out how much worse that gets if you are still willing to give Horikoshi some benefit of the doubt... which sadly I am since he wouldn't have had a career if he'd always been Like That. And to clarify I'm not saying that he shouldn't be EXTENSIVELY critizised, I'm just saying that (depressive as it may be) we shouldn't forget how heavily character popularity rankings can affect the writing of an ongoing manga.

Bakugou was literaly introduced bullying kids and suicide-baiting the MC but he also consistently ranked N1 in the pools and Shouto N3 so bye Iida and Ocha these three are the main trio now. Envore was literaly introduced through his familial abuse, referred to Shouto as cattle to All Might's face, and even in his disturbingly self-serving flashback (y'know the one where he acts like he's a poor little meow meow for neglecting any kid he can't force into "hero training") it's still heavily implied he commited marital r*pe... but after One "Cool" Fight he kept breaking Top 10 so redemption it is anyway, I guess.

You have no idea how much I hate that this is where BNHA ended up. But amongst the many things that pain me over it one of the biggest ones is the knowledge that Horikoshi didn't get here Alone.

You aren't wrong in that fan opinion are a big part of why Horikoshi tanked the MHA narrative. However shifting blame from the author to the fans doesn't sit right with me at all.

It's, like, writing 101 that you aren't supposed to pander to a specific group of fans. Horikoshi chose to do that. He chose to cheapen a decent story to appeal to the masses. As a writer, you (and your editors) are supposed to decide the direction of your story. Not your fans.

I would also like to point out that while Bakugou WAS getting very popular among a lot of fans, he had almost as many critics in the beginning. Most of Bakugou's fans at the time were literal kids who didn't know any better. Taking that into consideration is a complete blunder on his part.

And in regard to Endeavor, by the time that "cool" fight happened, he had already decided to redeem Endeavor. In fact, I'm pretty sure that fight was deliberately meant to show off how good of a hero he was to the audience. Endeavor didn't really start getting fans until his redemption arc started.

Also, while Izuku does get a lot of flack, he's been consistently high in character popularity polls and Horikoshi still treats him like shit. Same with All Might and Uraraka.

(Character polls are consistently rigged, so we really shouldn't count them anyway)

So yeah, the fans aren't great judges of character. But it was Horikoshi's literal job to know his narrative and characters better

[princeramil]

I know THK is full of incongruities but the worst of them is the fact that they never really even moved a finger to make us believe that Kant and Bison are in love. Look, it's not my first time watching a GMMTV production, so I am very used to unresolved stuff or rushed endings, but there's something that makes a bl a bl and that's the love story as the center of the plot. That's actually the only thing they need to take care of carefully because the audience won't probably search for more, but they couldn't do even that. And I find this so disrespectful because some people talk about the budget they have to direct, write and produce as if that was the real problem behind. Look, THK doesn't look cheap, and they have popular couple that guarantee a certain amount of viewers. And I know this is not a elite company, but it's so low to blame it on the budget when it's not that hard to even write a love story for the most popular couple on your show. It's insulting how the audience needs to fill the empty holes in KantBison story line all the time, creating theories and narratives to make some sense to this incomplete and incoherent "love story".

It annoys me because it feels like they treat fans like they are so trashy that they would eat trash just because it has their favs face in it. And maybe it's true but it still speaks more of how ungrateful and mediocre the production team is than fans' impulsive actions.

Since Only Friends, I loved First and Khao as a couple, but the story turned Ray into a horrible person without any possibilities of changing: and yes, no matter how much they made Khao cry in every scene so he looks pitiful, it still doesn't change the fact that he never changed and that they made Sand accept his horrific future with that jerk because IT'S FIRSTKHAO???? I don't even know why they do this.

If they can't built a coherent plot, or it's so hard for them to solve problems (they should probably leave the job to someone who really wants to work and improve, actually...) they could just not make Firstkhao's characters the most hateful people on Earth just to build some deepness to their characters (bc apparently only traumatized people and criminals can be deep). What the fuck was that last episode of Only Friends I just can't forget it.

And the same thing is now happening with Kant and Bison, I still can't believe a single word Kant says, and Bison is so immature and dramatic that their scenes are so hard to watch without complaining every 2 seconds. It destroys the experience of someone like me who actually believes in them as a very powerful duo.

So, yeah, speak your truth about THK but say it all. The excitement of the show fell down because the expectations of the fans (fk fans) were completely shattered. To me, this show made Joongdunk a fantastic favor because they have now a very good exposure and also the best characters in their careers because the love story is kinda good but also because the other one is so bad that anything could shine beside them. Fadel and Style as characters don't actually deserve to be generalized when it comes to shade on THK because their story is acceptable to a bl from GMMTV at least...

I just need people to have some dignity, they can't just keep doing you guys so wrong.

[nutterzebutters]

I have a take to share about cookie run kingdom, now that I've gone through the store and essentially analyzed everything that I can and I'd like to remind ppl of something very important (which means this post isn't a thesis about the update as a whole but a specific detail) when it comes to accepting the gravity of the story, and this is directed at "lily is dark enchantress" deniers.

I better not see another person say that Lily is not dark enchantress, to disassociate dark Enchantress from Lily as De does in the story

De does so bc she sees lily as weak and a failure to her own goals, there is a ton of self-loathing. I genuinely don't think that attitude about these two cookies is meant to be performed by us, the players. That is dark enchantress's job, our job is to recognize that dark enchantress may deny it all she wants but it's still an irrefutable truth. They truly are more similar than what meets the eye.

"you can't completely subscribe dark and chantress's actions to Lily" is something I see a lot and now that we have been presented with the evidence that dark enchantress is truly a vile person here and there's absolutely nothing to glorify about her savior speak I feel the need to remind us all that the entire concept of the perfect cookie stemmed from lily, the purpose of seeking power to use it for her goals stemmed from Lily, regardless of who it hurts even after a countless patterns being told that she shouldn't have continued. It does not take a genius to see that a lot of dark enchantress's actions have parallels to Lily's own, and it's perfectly understandable why somebody might label lily as horrible for this bc shes exactly where it started regardless.

There is no evidence that dark Enchantress was just something trapped inside Lily that seeked to get out (as if it was a completely different entity inside her that happened to take the opportunity of baking its own body in the ultimate dough)

There's only ever evidence that dark enchantress is Lily's "darkness" that has gotten out of control, that has been festering for however long and possibly the exact thing that pure vanilla feared way back in the academy. Which can create another reason that pure vanilla blames himself for dark enchantress's creation, because she proves all of his worst fears about Lily's method of actions true- I feel like we as a community need to remember that just because a character we like does something irredeemable doesn't mean we have to deny it. It's still ok to love them AND acknowledge that maybe they're a little whack and should not be encouraged whatsoever.

I'm speaking from the point of view of watching people at the time of the golden cheese Kingdom update switch up on "dark enchantress is lily" the second that they showed something she should be held accountable for. Conveniently forgetting that she did the same exact thing to vanilla's Kingdom prior and only ever reacting to cheeses bc it held more weight in detail. Yes, I agree that white lily is an excellent but accidental representation of what BPD can be, but I am finding that this is often used as an excuse for comfort more than it is acknowledged and actually looked at- it's perfectly okay to want to have a character appeal to a general audience a lot more, but I don't think we should be changing what makes the character the character in the first place - I will assume you never really liked the true character to begin with

On another note, when it comes to Lily's flaws a lot of them really do relate to silence, being complacent or even avoidant on matters that should have taken more priority or care. Being in her own little bubble all the time contributes to this, as it created such a disconnect between her and pure vanilla alone. Dark enchantress on the other hand, way more direct. This is a very key difference and something that should remind us that yes, there are very big differences. Just as there are very big similarities. The idea of building a perfect world was always something lily wanted, her life spent doing so will obviously shape the actions and thought process that dark enchantress has, aka the thought process of the cookie that was literally born from Lily's own dough and soul. This is not to say she's not on the path to redemption, because I do believe there is room for growth, it's only unfortunate that it happens after it's been too late to perform any harm reduction on the initial impact. I would like to believe her arc with silent salt will pave the way for a better Lily, perhaps even a better relationship with pure vanilla (possibly romantically if we get any substance on the two beforehand to build up to it, as her silence/bystander nature in ever responding to pure vanillas efforts to keep her safe is a big issue as well)

I'd like to believe the arc might bring her out of a lot of the self-pity attitude that she currently has, and make her more active in tackling more complex matters within herself. Remember, as evidence stands dark enchantress is a very current version of Lily, while the Lily that we have is a preserved shard reanimated that was saved from the past and now has the opportunity to deviate and make a new, different future than the one currently belonging to dark enchantress (which is another reason I think it's important to accept that DEs actions can be completely subscribed to lily, and at the very least do not deny that Lily is dark enchantress, because then it denies room for any growth on Lily's end)

When it comes to her relationship with someone like pv, It's possible she did not like her persistent and direct companion at first but whatever the case is he did eventually grow on her and that's an undeniable fact. It's also what happens to make the conflict of being dark enchantress so interesting- because she straight up wants to kill him. I have a small theory that dark enchantress could feel Lily's love even through the transformation, and she seeks to kill that. I believe it's also perfectly reasonable to say that for how strong Lily loved the traits for pure vanilla, is exactly how much dark Enchantress hates them as shown in ep 10. Like how she hates his smile the most, and yet Lily is extremely fond of it, his face and his nature.

That's all I just wanted to rant, the update reminded me that a lot of people can be very stubborn when it comes to their faves which is so damn understandable, but it's also extremely important to know that your fave can be problematic, they can be labeled toxic, and that's perfectly ok! Just like it's okay to like a character that can be all those things as long as you have a good understanding on what those things mean for the character. I love her writing, and because of that I have a love-hate relationship with pure lily as a ship, as I can separate her writing from who she is as a person, which is actually abysmal atm. Like she cares, and it's very clear that pure vanilla rubbed off on her and taught her a lot of the kindness she now demonstrates as she mimics him frequently (admiration ofc)

[olderthannetfic]

https://olderthannetfic.tumblr.com/post/737771866482212864/one-thing-i-hate-in-modern-adaptations-is-when-ppl

This is actually kinda an interesting example of the weird tokenism that's currently being peddled in Hollywood for some time. You have a story where you actually have an under-represented group, but because it's the wrong kind we're just going to swap them so that you can visually see the difference, and so it fits our worldview in a completely different part of the world.

Let' me switch the sides for a second: Does Hollywood actually think that poc want to have the "leftover" roles from white characters? Do they honestly think that pocs feel more represented when being put into a story that didn't actually include them and doesn't feature their cultures and heritages, and doesn't even acknowledge them as a poc character in a white story? Do they honestly think that poc people want a white story, by a white author to represent them? That poc want to be stand ins for fantasy racism against fantasy creatures? This story features hate against magical creatures like elves... how about we just add in regular old racism again poc instead? As if the rule is that if there's racism, then pocs have to be victims of it, even if the story tells about fantastical racism. Why can't Poc simply exist in a story where they aren't victims of racism?

Especially if it ends up being such a waste of time and money like what Witcher ended up being, especially the "Origin" spin-off, made by people who hated the source material, and who hated and ousted on the one singular man who not only wanted to respect the source material, but even fought to have vital parts of the story respected until he couldn't anymore. Then they blame "We thought our audience were brainless mongrels so we didn't want to make it too complicated for their little stupid brains." Great, not only did you ruin one of the few stories that was by a Polish-Slav about Slavic and Polish folklore which already doesn't have much of a foothold, and wasn't the typical anti-Slavic Hollywood + "everything is Russia" storyline, but you also insulted the intelligence of your audiences, didn't actually give good rep to pocs, and you even managed to shit on the value of representing actual poc stories once again by giving them scraps.

I've also noticed this has started the stupid trend between fans, because instead of pointing out how stupid Hollywood is, and noticing it's Hollywood doing this shit, I see poc making fun that token-trend with comments "If a poc movie for pocs is made, by pocs and written by pocs, don't forget the token white character." Yeah, exactly we all see the problem don't we? That's why everyone clowns on it, but it's like people just kinda forget how stupid this trend is when it actually comes to throwing the hard critics at Hollywood. Where are the stories for the people who want to be represented as their own figures and stories for once? Without having a stupid token character because Hollywood thinks people are too dumb to identify or root for a character who doesn't look like them. We don't need useless token characters, we need stories that are made FOR the people, written for them, with care.

We want poc stories. We want black stories. Asian. Latine. Indigenous. Hell even Slavic. Whatever! Written by them for them, we want to see stories that can just BE these stories without the need for token characters awkwardly forced in. Tell me a story where the identity of the characters is respected and fully realized! Who needs a token character when you have actually stories where these characters actually get their stories told instead of being a footnote or a throwaway line? I want to watch a big blockbuster movie who's source was written by eg a black woman, about her culture, shaped by her experiences, and with black actors who are playing roles that were always for them. I don't want another "Hey this book was written by a white person, how about we just turn some random white characters poc and call it a day. Who cares if the author doesn't know how to write a poc experience, they'll just eat it anyway." I'm not saying that a person can't write about characters of a different ethnicity not their own either, especially if they actually do research and ask people of that ethnicity or find good resources, etc! Write what you want, put effort into it and your heart.

But we first need to set a precedents for authors to be able to write for themselves and their experiences tied to their identity, to get a voice and be featured above constantly using stories that weren't made for it. If the story was made for Polish slavs, then make it a story for polish slavs. If you want a high fantasy story with actual poc characters that was already part of the story, then go and find one of the thousands of books by various poc ethnicities that already cover that!

Bullshit excuses by Hollywood that poc stories don't sell are a fucking sham. The old fucks at the top just hate the idea of actually doing something for actual diversity, by giving poc people a chance to see their own stories on screen that they themselves have written.

--

[sadcharactersrmykryptonite]

Addiction ( in only friends ) and how it impedes your perception of the situations you are in

Never thought I needed to write this but I have been seeing so many posts blaming ray and I wanted to get it out. Later if I have time I would write a dissertation about this topic because it's extremely important.

Disclaimer : Know that I am not absolving ray of his wrongdoings nor am I blaming his behaviour on other characters but we know the root of his behaviour but it seems like there is a lack of understanding.

All this is from my observations with people I know who have addiction so this is my personal experience and not me telling everyone how they should act or feel.

.................

Ray is a selfish person. We all know that. But so is Boston , so is mew, so is cheum. So why is ray getting the most hate. Because he is a drunkard. During ep 3 or 4 , when we saw ray at his most vulnerable , everyone was going oh poor ray. And now everyone is telling the opposite. Now I see a lot of people asking why mew and the others not taking care of him, even me. But this is why. See how easy it was for a major part of the audience to forget his addiction and completely blame ray. Now imagine if you are the one who has to deal with ray on a daily basis for two long years. It's exhausting , overwhelming and frustrating and eventually you are going to form an antipathy. My drunkard friend is not going to listen to my well intentioned warnings so why should I care. You can see it clearly in mews behaviour. Mew has given up caring.

Loved ones start giving up , because the pain the addicted one causes is too much to bear. And that is the reality of addiction. This was most clearly shown through rue from euphoria. Her mother, friends, sister cared about her but you can see the toll it creates on everyone.

Addiction is a harmful disease and one of the reason why is that it morphs the user into someone unrecognisable. Look at sober ray, his moments with sand, he's adorable, fiesty, sassy and very charming. But what he becomes when he is drunk or high is a selfish guy who doesn't care about anyone but himself.

Once again I am not blaming the entire thing on alcohol, but trying to say how that much addiction can cause one to act in ways they won't normally wont when sober.

Alcohol and drugs is ray's escape from his inner thoughts and his shitty lonely life. But he's got so dependent on it and his pain is too much that he greatly needs that buzz of happiness that alcohol and drugs gives him. He's so dependent on it that he can't be happy without it. I know that most portrayel of alcoholics have them be absolutely useless and trashed. But ray is not like that, which is even more dangerous , because he is a functional alcoholic.

And it's dangerous because it won't be clear to a lot of people about how he needs help. And more importantly it won't be clear to him about how he needs help. When ray thinks to himself all he can focus on is that he can do chores, he can talk to people normally, he can walk in a straight line, he is not an alcoholic in the way we are always shown, but he is. He is seen with drinks almost all the time, he spends the most time in a bar , he is probably walking around conscious but still drunk. And as long as he is a functional alcoholic , ray would never go or ask for help.

When you are that dependent on this , any tiny problem would have you running to escape , because the escape as an option is easy then doing the messy work of knowing when you are wrong or wronged and dealing with the emotions that come with it. We have seen ray doing it, especially when paired with mew.

When you are that dependent you don't see that you need help. To ray he is having fun, he's not miserable when he is drunk or high , when he is in that state he gets everything. So what if he is called a burden, he is still on top of the world. So when people say to him that he is an alcoholic he's confused , because he is not an alcoholic. He's having fun.

Now during ep 8 we are actually seeing him being selfish and an asshole. During ep 6 we saw him very effectively damaging his relationships. The common point between these two eps is that he is under the influence. Those are his sober thoughts but he won't say it aloud when he is sober but when he's drunk he doesn't have any inhibitions so he says everything that comes to him. Combine that with the pain of being called a burden , of unrequited love and he tries to escape from the feelings by drinking again and it forms a vicious circle. It came to a point where he lashed out and as always hurt people under the influence of something can be destructive.

I am not saying that what he did was right or the pain he caused was justifiable or should be forgiven. They shouldn't but rays feeling shouldn't be minimised too. Addiction is complex and asking for help can be a hard task. And in the case of ray I don't think he realises that he needs help. That's the problem with addicts, they don't know that the thing that's giving them happiness is the same thing that's causing them harm. Or they know but they are far too gone that they don't care.

Be it smoking , drugs or alcohol or anything else , people use it for escape but the usage becomes too much that their entire day is only fulfilled , when they get their daily dose of happiness from it. Which changes their perception to accomodate one and only one thing , the next fix, the next drink. Which is why they become selfish cause their entire world is wrapped around that bottle and everything else comes secondary.

Addiction has the potential to completely change a person. You know the person you grew up with or you know personally is somewhere inside there but what you see when they are under the influence is someone you never dreamed your loved one's can be. And it's painfull.

Another way people with addiction is dehumanised is that everyone uses them. You want a drink ? that person will always have a bottle with them, you need a fix that guy knows a person , want to have fun that person will show you a good time . I think a lot of people have heard these phrases.

For most people it's harmless fun, for the addict it's an ego boost . And it encourages them to continue that lifestyle. Which is what happened with raymew and the entire friends group in general.

They use ray but they are willfully blind to the harm that causes him. Mew was the one who wanted to try smoking, coke and party, ray never forced him, because for ray that is his happy place. Substances is the one thing that gives him happiness, he does not have the capacity to stop or think of it as wrong.

To ray , mew has finally chosen him, he is finally doing the things he loves. He's not going to stop mew from doing anything when he thinks he finally getting what he always wanted. Ands it toxic and it's not right but that's the reality of an addict.

And he should be happy about it but he isn't because he needs sand. And that is what confused him to spiral further and ignore his emotions and snort coke. Because that's the best thing he can do, run away.

Why is sand so important to ray ? I said in an another post that sands generosity is out of the ordinary. He's mature for his age in a way that makes me feel like he has known an addict before.

And ray needs that. He doesn't need enablers. he needs someone to physically stop him from taking it. Or atleast make him realise that what he is doing is dangerous. And sand is the one who's going to do it.

Thing is it's not sand's job to do it. But till ep 8 he was choosing to be that person. Saying that ray is forcing sand to do something is just taking away the agency from sand. He's not a kid. He's making his own decisions.

And if he is helping him it won't be an easy journey. If they are bringing the addiction rehab plot line into the show then I could see a scene happening that is reminiscent of the car chase scene from euphoria.

[piglet26]

Finnrey! I ship the Bffs while I Reylo. TLJ

The Last Jedi. Let's start here I love this movie because I'm a Reylo. It's a flawed movie, but nowhere near as bad as people claim it to be. I do understand the frustrations. I don't like how they handled Luke's arc and I don't like how Finn and Rey were split up. Their hug at the end of the movie would've have meant as much had they not been split up but...... can't have everything you want.

By The Last Jedi Finnrey as a romantic partnership was over. In interviews JJ Adams made it clear that he set up both FinnRey and Reylo as possibilities. The script is consistent with that while the author of the novelization leaned more toward FinnRey. Speculation started as to why the changes were occurring. What do I think it was?

The Last Jedi script and novelization was being written prior to The Force Awakens even coming out. So the downplaying of FinnRey and the sidling of Finn was not based on audience reaction or fan backlash. It's been hypothesized that it's been more of a reaction on a corporate level because people weren't ready for a interracial relationship. Now I know the western world will get blamed for this. Reality? It's more likely the eastern world wasn't ready, specifically China, which is a big market. Disney has been shown in the past to make concessions, changes and allowances when it concerns China. Least we forget this fiasco below. Where's Finn?

But let's walk through this.

Finn wakes up and Rey is the first thing on Finn's mind. He find's out that Rey went to go find Luke while the resistance flees The First Order. Again, I would have liked to have seen them together, but I don't mind that each character was challenged to grow individually prior to coming back together. Even apart it they show their care for one another and they are BOTH thinking of the other.

If Finn had been "following Rey around" the whole of The Last Jedi people would be very upset because Finn never had his own storyline.

I cannot say this enough even at the beginning of The Last Jedi, Finn is not in the resistance! He doesn't care about the Resistance! He doesn't care about the cause of the Resistance. He cares about one person and he's going to fight for her. If Rey and Finn were dudes no one would question his concern for his friend or thinking about his friends safety. Neither would anyone find it odd if two woman were loyal to one another. Rey is a woman and as such Finn is a weak simp for caring about her in a non-sexual way. Rey is also probably the one person in the world who truly does care and love Finn. Yes, there is Poe, but Poe's first love is the Resistance. Both characters have thrown into a world where they have to figure their roles out. They've become heroes without having fully come to terms about what that means. Ultimately, they are two characters growing together while maintaining their independent arcs.

I would argue that Finn does have a complete storyline in The Last Jedi. I would tweak it though. Finn's initial intention is to get away from The Resistance ship in an escape pod because The First Order is tracking them. When Finn is caught by Rose, he hatches a plan with her to help the resistance by finding a hacker, as in the movie. However, he doesn't give the beacon of light to Poe to keep, he takes it with him. Once Finn and Rose make it to Canto Bite (Whatever it's called) he reveals to Rose that he will help find the hacker, but he isn't going back to the Resistance. If the beacon isn't with the resistance than Rey will follow it back to wherever he is and that is somewhere safe. On Canto Bright, Finn meets the children who are being enslaved and relates to them. Through his experience with the children he decides to fight the evil and corruption that enslaves children. He goes back with Rose to help the Resistance and we carry on with the remainder of his arc in the movie.

Another bone to pick was with Rose Tico. Sigh. No one liked her and no one liked her and Finn together. Why? Several reasons. She assumes Finn is in the Resistance based on a rumor. While she accused Finn of being obsessed with Finn, she comes off as jealous and possessive despite knowing him a matter of hours. She doesn't even know Finn and yet she talks over him, she lectures him, she is dismissive about his sole friendship and she assumes that she knows what’s best for him. Rose in the novel.

Finn was handsome—Rose had to admit that. It was too bad about the weird traitor thing. And the bizarre crush on the friend of his. Whoever this Rey was, she had to be quite something to make you desert people you’d fought alongside and a cause you’d come to believe in.

“I wish Rey could see this,” Finn said (…) “Our mission, remember? Stop drooling all over the scenery, stop pining for Rey, and get with it.” “I was not pining for Rey,” Finn objected. Rose looked scornful. “Heavy pining. Heavy. You were ready to abandon the Resistance to help her. How can one person mean more to you than a whole cause?” (…) “Then I met Rey. And for the first time I had someone I cared about to fight for. That’s who I wanted to be.”

Even when Finn describes why Rey means so much to him she doesn't quite understand and even implies that Rey doesn't have the attachment to him that he thinks she does.  Even more absurd is her effectively explaining child slavery to him. Like, what?! Finn knows that he was taken by the First Order as a child and was essentially enslaved to fight.

Now Rey. I'm happy with her arc in The Last Jedi. There was a moment I thought could have been added. When Kylo Ren is giving his proposal, she has a moment of conflict. She wants to take his hand, no elsewhere on the same ship, Finn has been captured onboard and about to be executed. I would have had Rey sense through the force that Finn was in trouble and that was the reason she turned Kylo Ren down. She had to go help her friend.

Also, haters will intentionally omit moments where Rey expresses concern for Finn and his condition despite being away from him.

“If you see Finn before I do, tell him…” she began. Chewbacca yowled. “Yeah. Perfect. Tell him that.”

She asked about his status while on Ackh-To. Not exactly her being indifferent. Yes, Finn has a possible crush on Rey throughout TFA, but the fact that their bond survived after Rey’s connection to Ben and was able to grow into something more speaks to the strength of their loyalty and their friendship.

Finn's ending with Rose. I would've hated Finn making a suicide run into the First Order which would have only slowed them down. Rose stopping him however, does the same thing she accused him of in the beginning... caring about one person more than the cause. Though, Rose was right, "you save what you love". Their kiss was uncomfortable. Finn looked grossed out and it felt extremally random. The reality is the actors don't have the chemistry Daisy Ridley and John Boyeya do. We spent a whole movie with them and that was more than enough. Then Finn had to drag her back.

Finally at the end of the movie FinnRey is reunited and damn doesn't it feel good. Their hug at the end of TLJ is one of relief and friendship. Finn has just almost lost Rose, Rey has failed to redeem Ben, and they are both pretty cut up about it. It’s definitely a healing hug, with nothing sexual about it. I also like to compare this to how she touches Ben. Every time Ben and Rey touch (or almost do) there’s this huge amount of tension and chemistry sparking between them. By contrast, Rey and Finn’s hug was a pure release of tension and a feeling of safety.

Finn rushed forward, calling her name. For a moment he was afraid that Rose had been right—that this Rey who could lift mountainsides would be utterly changed in other ways, too, with no trace left of the young woman he’d followed across the galaxy from Jakku. And she was different. But the old Rey wasn’t gone. And it was that Rey who fell into Finn’s arms, sobbing and laughing at the same time, and held him tight.

Just because two characters aren’t in a romantic relationship doesn’t mean they can’t have a strong friendship, and the lack of romance does not by any means make their friendship worth less.

[b4nanaa]

UGHHHHHHHH

'If I only Had a Leg' is a memoir written by Greg Marshall detailing his experience with a theater group called Up With Kids, an organization that allowed him to channel his creative outlet in acting and singing.

Quick summary of the story

He is Up With Kids

His last role was the Scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz

Afterwards he was able to meet one of the last living munchkins, Margaret Pellegrini

He later quits the program when he is offered the role of Quasimodo

Tries for Scarecrow again later on in highschool but gets rejected

"Children are sad creatures, so full of hope and light and judgment. So sure of their place in the world. My first thoughts, as I waited for Mom to pick me up, were ones of anger: Who was this haughty witch to tell me what I could do? If she was so special, why was she volunteering at a junior high instead of choreographing on Broadway? Of course, such thoughts denigrated the whole enterprise—the school, the play, my meager acting ability. Part of me wanted to tell her how believable I could be as Scarecrow. When I fell, the audience would gasp, and when I got up again they would cheer. It wouldn’t have mattered. In the choreographer’s gentle rejection lay a deeper truth: I would never be a professional actor. The fantasy was over. Later, I’d call this my munchkin moment: the moment I realized I was window dressing along the Yellow Brick Road, not the one skipping down it. I was one of the little people some other, more charismatic teenager would pledge not to forget. That night, I took down the glittery star that had hung on my door for years and fondled Margaret’s autograph in my replica Oz script as if she were a real celebrity. She’d signed it “Munchkin Love.”

What happens does suck. The fact that he was rejected because of his disability hindering his performance (dance wise) slightly kept him from getting Scarecrow, because he is able to do so much more outside of that and can get over it.

But also, I can't really blame the lady. It's just how things are, especially in the entertainment industry.

Trying to get into it is tough as it is, having a disability is likely to only slim those chances

As harsh as it is to hear, it does hinder your performance and it makes sense why you wouldn't get your part for it

I do think people should be more open minded and give people a chance, and work around it

But at the end of the day the entertainment industry is tough and it's a lot harder on people with disabilities because they either don't want to work around it or your efforts just aren't enough

What you can control is how much effort you put into things and making the best of what you have, like Margaret did as one of the last living Munchkins

In the end, Greg concludes with accepting that his struggles were enough even if he never got to be what he wanted

When I first read it, I felt bad because it does suck that Greg isn't getting the role just because of his disability. To an extent it does feel unfair, since it ignores his other skills and doesn't give him the chance to prove that he can still perform with or without his leg being an issue. But I also don't find the choreographer’s call completely wrong. For me, it feels natural and just kinda how the world is, especially the entertainment industry

Naturally, having a disability that affects your physical performance will serve as a disadvantage and lower your chances of getting a role you want. While I do agree that more places should accommodate for disabilities and learn to work around them, the reality is the entertainment industry is a tough, competitive field that seeks the best and is unlikely to work around you. I'm not able to relate to Greg or speak on his behalf or anyone on disability since I don't have one myself. I struggled a lot with trying to find what to say, but reading this passage only made me think about the entertainment industry. I think his experience captures it pretty well, especially when it comes to those with disabilities.

Because regardless how hard Greg tries to deny his disability when it comes to his acting and keeping it from the audience, it's always going to be apart of him and affect how people perceives him. It even shapes how he views himself and others in Up with Kids. In comparison to their disabilities, Greg is capable of performing more than them. As a result, he comes so deluded that he is in denial of his disability sometimes and thinks he different than everyone else. Whereas they're here because something is 'wrong' with them, he is here because he is a rising actor. But just because he has it better compared to others, doesn't mean his cerebral palsy is no longer a disability. It still is and always will be, and it's going to affect how he performs and how he is seen.

He gets angry at being offered the role of Quasimodo because he views it as a role given purely due to his disability, I was able to understand where he is coming from. Through out the memoir, he does his best to hide his limp from the audience and only uses it to enhance his performance. But to be casted as Quasimodo comes off as a casting due to them both having a limp in their leg, like how Margaret and the dwarves got casted as the Munchkins because they were short.

So I do understand why he was upset and didn't want to do it, but a lot of it seems to stem from him being unable to accept his disability as a part of himself. And when it comes to the entertainment industry and getting roles, chances are you will be casted based on appearances too and if you want to become big as an actor, you do need to accept that. It was in that moment of rejection from the choreographer that he realizes this harsh reality, but despite that, is later on able to warrant a new perspective. At the end of the memoir, he reflects back on his short acting career and believes he might've had a shot if not for his leg. Not only that, but he also comes to understand that it's better to have tried if not at all. In his words when reflecting back on his view of Margaret Pellegrini, "If the opposite of being typecast for having a disability is not being cast at all, being a Hollywood Midget didn’t sound so bad." I wonder how things might've turned out if he had stayed and taken the role of Quasimodo. Would things have been any different? Would he still be acting? Or would he have came to the same conclusion as he did when he was rejected from the role of the Scarecrow? In the end, it doesn't matter if he was able to achieve his dream or not as reflected by Greg in the end of his memoir. While embracing yourself is key to success, which he was unable to do when he was younger, sticking it out and surviving is enough as well. For example, look at Margaret. She might've never made it big and had only a small role, and seemed to be used only for her small stature, but that never held her back. Even long after the movie where most of her fellow actors are dead, she still has a big of enough presence for the world to still care about her because of how she makes the best of things. In the end, all you can control is how much effort you put into things and how you make of things, and that in it of itself should be an accomplishment.

[hello-nichya-here]

Sorry for being abrasive, but why is it that you avoid any works that try to deal with the comics? Because, and this is directed towards Azula stans in general and not just you, if we keep avoiding the comics &/or engaging in canon denialism in general, doesn't it feed into Azula Anti's beliefs that Azula stans just only like the image of Azula in their heads as well as allow the antis to control the discourse? 1/2

2/2 And this is bad since Bryke is obviously influenced by social media and thus us allowing the antis to control the discourse will led them to continue portraying Azula in a "bad" way? Or at least continue to portray Azula as the one dimensional power hungry Joker clone that they have been doing post-TV show and not as the complex character that we fell in love with?

***

I fucking wish that the whole disaster with Azula was my only problem with the comics. That is just a symptom of why I don't consider them canon - the actual reason for it is because the writers completely lost track of who the characters and themes in the story are.

Aang is a pacifist, one of Zuko's closest friends, and spared Ozai's life, even though the fucker is one of the most evil people ever. The comics made him agree to kill Zuko if he turned into a second Ozai, even though he was still refusing to kill Ozai.

Mai and Zuko's relationship became a shitty attempt a doing a Will-They-Won't-They romance, and in true Ross and Rachel fashion only made the two of them, especially Mai, look like horrible people.

Ursa was canonically willing to kill for her children, and despite her mistakes as a mother you could still see that she WAS trying to guide Azula towards the right path. In the comics she basically acts like Azula isn't even her kid, writes letter (that she KNOWS Ozai is going to read) saying that Zuko is actually a bastard, goes away without saying a single word of goodbye to Azula and only accidentally having one last interaction with Zuko (which directly contradicts what we saw in Zuko Alone with her intentionally waking him up to say goodbye), she chooses to forget everything about her life despite telling Zuko "Never forget who you are", and when she recovered her memories she didn't give a shit that Azula (who is mentally unstable) is running around all alone, and doesn't even fucking ask how the hell Zuko got that scar on his face.

Ikem, Ursa's new husband and alleged good guy, deliberately tries to prevent her from regaining her memories, even though he knows there's two traumatized kids that just want their mother back, because what if she likes the kids she had with Ozai more than the one she had with him?

And last but not least, Zuko and the Gaang, the supposed good guys, the characters we all grew to love, throw Azula, a 14-year-old girl and Zuko's little sister, in an abusive asylum where she's constantly being physically abused and restrained even when she is not doing anything, forget about her for an entire year, immediately start partaking in said abuse once they finally see her - because they need something. Azula is then shown as the bad guy for thinking they're full of shit when they say they want to help her, even though anyone with half a brain can tell she is 100% right. This isn't justice, and considering Azula can't tell what's real or understand why they're doing what they're doing it isn't even revenge. Is the Gaang being cruel for the sake of being cruel - which is completely out of character for every single one of them. I remind you that this was written by the same men who, even when Zuko was at his lowest, made sure the audience never forgot that the abuse he endured wasn't okay just because he was antagonist. That was completely lost in the comics AND was replaced by a fuck-ton of ableism and victim blaming, because "Well, she is a bad guy, so it makes sense that the Gaang is supporting her being abused"

I love Azula, but even with her sympathetic background and redeeming qualities, the whole time I was watching the show I was rooting for the Gaang whenever there was any conflict between them. In the comics, I was 1000% on her side, and the most satisfying moment was seeing her redirect Zuko's lightning right in his fucking face. All because that storyline assassinated the heroes' characters so badly, that Azula, even at her worse, became the sympathetic underdog by default.

Bryke are grown ass men. If they can't separate entitled fans from genuine criticism, and will "punish" all the fans by reducing the characters to shitty parodies of themselves, essentially acting like two toddlers throwing a tantrum because their mom didn't let them have cookies before dinner, that's on them. I'm not gonna stop complaining that they ruined Zuko's character out of fear that they'll undo his redemption arc and/or decide that it was actually his fault that Ozai abused him. The same applies to what they're doing to Azula.

I won't pretend their retcons are canon and that the terrible writting decisions they made are actually good out of fear that they'll do something worse. I don't care if they created my favorite characters and my favorite show, if their writing gets so bad that it makes me wish I was watching the Shyamalan movie, I'm gonna call them out on it because holy shit what the fuck happened?

[manslaught]

“ i usually i am, ” she says, with an immense amount of confidence for somebody who is definitely not. mikayla has to bite her tongue to keep from reminding her that she had been back at school, too, because she's not supposed to admit that she wanted her attention back then, even if it's obvious now, thinking back on it— making a point to talk to her even when they had absolutely no reason to, starting petty arguments just to remind tai she existed. the urge to ask her not even me? is overwhelming, but she can't, not when she isn't ready for that conversation to actually go anywhere, aside from just giving her some verbal validation that mikayla doesn't even need, not when she already knows she's not the only one feeling something between them.

she hates herself for her cowardice, because she wants nothing more than to just forget about everyone else and pull tai closer, to stop with all the games she's been playing and just let them both win once and for all. more than that, she hates her father for making her like this, instilling her with a paranoia she has trouble shaking even without him around. it's easier to blame him than take most of the fault. mikayla's torn between apologizing, explaining that she can't get out of her head enough to let them be together just yet, or just pretending it didn't happen at all; just like last time, she decides the latter's the easiest.

mikayla couldn't care less about the stupid party, knowing she'd much rather spend the night with tai and only tai, but it's easier to get a hold of herself when there's a bigger audience around, so it feels like the safest option. “ just for a while, at least. long enough for us to eat. ” then maybe they can go off on their own, but mikayla's hoping that she can find some excuse to stay with the others instead, on the off chance that this isn't going to be a horrible experience. “ and if it completely sucks... there's always the lake. like you said. ”

 it’s still instinct to be defensive,  but it’s not lost on her that mikayla is actually being sweet with her words,  so after a moment,  she unclenches her jaw and gives her a small nod.   it’s almost tempting to ask if she’s speaking from experience—-  but surely,  if mikayla was thinking of taissa as much as taissa was thinking about her,  then they would just be together already.  ❝  well, i hope you’re right,  ❞   she says quietly instead.

tai’s brows furrow as she looks back at her,  and again,  she’s left in a place of wondering what mikayla actually wants to hear.  ❝  no,  ❞   she says quietly,  because she hadn’t lied to her when she told her no one caught her interest before.  not really,  at least,  no one but her.   ❝  i mean, back at school, yeah, no one really caught my interest.  ❞   her heart starts to race,  because her next words will make it obvious — but surely, it already is, considering very moment between them since their kiss.  ❝�� i guess it’s just different now, ❞   she says, trying to keep it vague anyway.  

when mikayla’s eyes drop to her lips,  tai’s heart only beats faster,  her cheeks warming as she thinks that maybe their moment from earlier hadn’t been entirely ruined.  even if it’s just this — a moment of recognition with each other,  a beat before a kiss,  even just a kiss that only lasts a second,  at least one thing that may turn the hopelessness of this day around.  because their doomcoming may be an attempt at finding some joy,  but tai knows it’s pointless if she doesn’t have mikayla by her side,  if they’re still just flirting around the line but never allowing themselves to cross it again.  when mikayla says her name,  tai lets out a noticeable gasp,  because she hadn’t expected their first kiss — but now, she’s ready, and she’s been yearning for it for weeks, and her entire body feels like it’s on fire as they’re finally about to have it again.  so when mikayla looks away and pushes her hand away,  the disappointment nearly suffocates her.  

to have some bit of control,  she takes a large step back,  arms crossing over her stomach to hold herself as she’s suddenly freezing without the heat of mikayla next to her.  she frowns,  her eyes locking with hers,  desperate to ask her,  simply,  what the fuck?  she’s silent for a long moment before her eyes close and she tries to collect her composure.  ❝  okay,  ❞  she mutters.   she’d rather remind her that she doesn’t care what questions the other ask, not this time,  but she knows there’s no use — not when this is the second time she’s stopped herself from getting close,  and maybe that’s a sign.   ❝  sure. wouldn't want to miss the party, ❞ she mumbles.

[valkyrieandstrangeridingaragorn]

Hello :D I was venting (on my blog) about how much I dislike Thor's new trailer but I caught the attention of a person who think we all hate the Loki serie because we don't understand character growth and so on, so now I'm in need of like-minded persons!

Well, I don't like that trailer, lol, that much is obvious. The main reason is because that trailer shows us again the double standard in the treatment of Thor and Loki, and I really can't stand this anymore. Thor, as a character, can grow, or change, or try to find himself for the umpteenth time, and the audience will root for him no matter what because he is always framed as an hero (with the brief exception of Endgame, but even in that movie he ended up more powerful than before); his powers increase in every movie he's in and he get beautiful outfits, too; while Loki... well, do I have to say it?!

Besides, I hate the queerbaiting in the interactions between Thor and Peter Quill. I hate it because there is really *no need* for Thor to have a queer subtext, because I didn't want to see yet another joke about two men that talk about love and expecially because Waititi can do good and actual queer representation when he wants to, so really, I'm fed up with all these things...

There, I said it, and I apologize if I bothered you, today I'm full of Thor feelings!

Hey no need to apologize at all! You never bother me 😉

It's the main issue with Marvel in the recent years, if they presented a hero-coded character and a villain-coded character performing the exact same action people would judge them differently on the basis that the good guys are always good no matter what they do and the villains are just evil and their intentions don't matter.

So when Thor goes to Jotunheim and starts a war with them the fans will tell you he's redeemed the moment he's banished and he falls in love with a mortal. However Loki can have a mental breakdown, can be under the influence of the Mind Stone, can perform heroic acts (save Thor and Jane in Svartalfheim, save the Asgardians' lives in Ragnarok, sacrifice his own life to save Thor's) and none of that matters because only the NYC invasion defines him.

And if this was only the fans judging two people differently it would be bad but we could live with it, the problem is the studio buys into that crap and even encourages it. If we had Thor in the TVA and Sif started kicking him and punching him for the battle in Jotunheim... how many fans would be outraged? Marvel knows very well what characters they can victim blame and what characters are allowed to be and do whatever they want - Clint can burn the Ronin suit and all is forgotten, Stark can hug Spidey in EG and they will forget he recruited him when he was 14yo... but Bucky has to make amends and he's blamed not one or two times but constantly by the narrative, and they think it's fair.

I slightly disagree on one thing though. Thor gets all the flashy suits and the powers and he's hero-coded so people tend to forget his mistakes, but arc-wise they have completely destroyed him. He was 100% ooc in Ragnarok, he returned in IW but EG ruined him again, and judging by the new teaser it seems they're going to continue with this new Thor (I even read a comment today from someone who claimed Taika has said Love and Thunder is even "funnier" than Ragnarok 🙄).

I would love to be wrong and hey, if the new movie is good then I'll be the happiest girl on Earth but I do have my concerns. And I know everyone has interpreted that scene with Quill as queerbaiting but I don't see it (granted, I never notice these things, it's like they fly over my head for some reason so don't mind me lol).

[allegra-writes]

"TKN"

Peter Parker x Anti-hero!Reader

General audiences

Warnings: None

Part XIII of the "Mercy" Series

SERIES MASTERLIST | MY MASTERLIST

"Secrets only to those you can trust.

You better not break the Omerta..."

TKN - Rosalia f. Travis Scott

72 hours. That's how long you and Peter had been on the run. And in those 72 hours, Peter had gone through more new experiences than in a whole year as an avenger: He had joined the mile high club, only to five minutes later jump from said plane at cruise speed. He had illegally entered a country, broke into a department store and even shaved his whole head to completely change his appearance. He had celebrated his and yours new freedom with sangria, and more lovemaking at the beach under the stars... 

But this? Being held at gunpoint by a tiny girl with murder in her eyes and superhuman reflexes? That was, sadly, nothing new. 

It was like watching a dance, the way your high kick sent the gun in her left hand flying, as the blonde rolled out of your reach too fast for you to get a hold of the other gun on her right. You avoided a punch to your midriff, as she jumped away from your knife. And your boyfriend saw, helpless, as it was shot out of your hand by a bullet fired with millimetric precision to its blade. But he had been instructed under no uncertain terms to stay out of the confrontation, and by now he knew better than to disobey you. 

"Don't you know what they say about bringing a knife to a gunfight?" The girl quipped, heavy ucranian accent lacing her words.

You smirked,

"They only say that cause a knife is only as good as the one who wields it, тетя Lena… Are you sure you're better with a gun than I am with a knife?"

She rolled her eyes at your cockiness, knowing full well you had several more sharp weapons hidden in your body. 

"Ты менг раздржаешь... So," Lena inquired, eyeing Peter up and down, "Who's the boy toy?"

Your smirk intensified, a barely there twitch, an almost imperceptible movement of your fingers, was all the signal your boyfriend needed,

"His name is Peter," A web shooter went off, and Lena found herself suddenly unarmed "and he's not a boy toy" 

"No, he's an avenger" She spat the word like an insult, "You know the rules, Likho. We don't fuck with strangers"

"And we only share secrets with those we can trust" You finished for her, "I trust him, Lena" 

She huffed, still sizing him up, but you could see a new glint of curiosity, if not respect, in her emerald eyes. 

After a minute, she finally relaxed, dropping her defensive stance. Without another word, she turned away from you, opening a cabinet, taking out three glasses and a bottle of vodka. 

"What's the story, then?" She began pouring the drinks, "I assume there is a story there, last time I saw you, you wanted to kill the avengers. Now here you are, with one as a pet…"

"I'm not- I'm not a…" Peter stammered his protest, "I'm not a pet" 

"Then why are you trailing after her like a lost puppy?" 

"Lena," Your tone was warning, as you grabbed your glass "play nice"

She rolled her eyes again,

"You sound just like your mother. The blonde widow made a face, downing her drink in one gulp, only to immediately refill it, "I miss her"

"Yeah" you sighed, "me too…" 

Peter fidgeted uncomfortably next to you.

"Everything ok, Peter?"

Your boyfriend hesitated: His spider sense was still on high alert, but he couldn't really tell if it was because of the assassin, or another threat you were unaware of.

He decided to play it down for the moment.

"Yeah just… don't want to be rude or anything but I'm not really the vodka type"

"I guessed that already, Spider-Boy. Is why I didn't pour you one…"

"Then who's that one for?" He questioned pointing at the third one.

"That would be for me" 

You looked up, your face breaking into the biggest grin Peter had ever seen on you at the sound of the new voice.

"Alex!" 

A pang of jealousy hit him, as he watched you throw yourself into the arms of the tall, handsome stranger.

Because this Alex guy was handsome, there was no denying that: Bright hazel eyes on top of the sharpest cheekbones Peter had ever seen, pale face framed by dark, shiny long tresses almost to his shoulders.

"Nice hair" You teased, running your fingers through his luscious locks and Peter had the sudden impulse to stick bubble gum to them like Flash had done to him once, back in junior year. He self consciously rubbed his own head, too aware of his buzzcut.

"Nice bangs," the Alex guy shot back, messing your hair like one would to a little child, "you look like a schoolgirl" 

That earned him a rather painful looking punch to his shoulder.

"Punch like a girl too"

"Train a little harder and you will too" You winked. Peter cleared his throat. "Right, of course. Alex, this is Peter. Peter, this is Alex" 

They shook hands, Peter impulsively squeezing a little too hard for a human. But the skinnier boy simply smiled a wolfish grin, all sharp white teeth, returning the grip with just as much strength. 

"Welcome to the spiders' den, Peter"

…

An hour later found the four of you satiated and relaxed, amongst empty pizza boxes and beer bottles. 

"... So, there we were, completely surrounded by both Hydra and S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, that were actually also Hydra agents, outnumbered and without any exit points in sight" Lena was retelling, Alex nodding enthusiastically beside her as he chew yet another slice of pepperoni, "So I reach inside my boot for my hidden glock, smirky hydra son of a bitch goes 'You looking for this, blondie?' Shaking my knife in front of my face…"

You fidget uncomfortably next to Peter, his eyes going from your beet red face to an Alex that seemed to be choking.

"And that little brat" she pointed at you, "Barbie pajamas, ice cream cone in one hand, my fucking gun in the other goes 'No, fart knocker, she was looking for this'" 

Alex finally snorted, little crumbs escaping his mouth and hitting you in the face as he started coughing. You wiped your face with as much dignity as you could muster.

"You're just salty because a nine year old saved your ass" 

"A sick nine year old" Alex managed to get out between barks, "With pink eye, she could only see with one eye. And using just one hand. Is why we call her Likho ever since" 

"Wait, you still had your ice cream?" 

"She never let go of that ice cream" Lena replied to the question Peter had directed at you, and you felt the temperature of your cheeks rise even more. 

"Literally single handedly took out 7 agents" Alex added, "and then demanded another scoop" 

All three of your companions dissolved in laughter, as you felt your stomach churn. Alex wouldn't look back on that particular memory with such fond eyes if he knew what that little incident had initiated, how it had snowballed until the consequences had reached a girl on the other side of the world, another red room experiment, just like you. 

They said a butterfly flapping its wings here can cause a typhoon in China. Well, your hurricane had levelled Ava Orlova's life.

You weren't one for guilt. Guilt had no place in survival. You did what had to be done in order to preserve yourself and your freedom. Just like your mother had taught you. Just like she had done. But being with Peter, loving Peter… well, that was having unforeseen consequences too, as you were coming to realize. 

Because now you understood. Now you understood Alex and Ava's bond, because Alex had felt for Ava the same way you did for Peter. Probably still did, since it was with trepidation that you realized his death probably wouldn't change your feelings for peter. 

After all, your own hadn't. 

"What about you, spider-boy? Any embarrassing stories to share?"

Peter smiled, for a minute forgetting where he was or why he was there,

"Actually, I do. It involves a barn, an overly friendly goat and hay in places hay should never…" He trailed off, his smile falling when he saw the look on your face.

"No! Why did you stop? That sounds like a great story!"

"Yeah, you got me at 'overly friendly goat'!"

Peter simply interlocked his fingers with yours, silently offering his support. It was time. You took a deep breath

"Because it wouldn't be fair to tell you a story that I don't remember" 

Silence fell over the small kitchen, as Lena and Alex processed your words, the later being the first to break it,

"S.H.I.E.L.D?"

"The T.A.H.I.T.I. protocol" you confirmed. He leaned back on his chair, chuckling, but there was no humor behind it.

"Well, well, well… ain't karma a bitch" 

"Alexei," Lena's tone was warning, "that was the Blank Slate project. You can't blame Likho for what Natasha did"

"Can't I? Really? Cause in over twenty years, our sister never cared about my 'trauma', but we find out about her" He pointed, accusingly, "and suddenly she is all about giving us a normal life. As if we could ever be normal. As if new memories could erase the Red Room from our bones"

"Alex…" You tried, weakly, but you didn't know what to say. Not when everything he was saying was true. 

"And now what? You want me to help you break through it? Now you need us to get back the memories they took from you, just like your mother stole memories from us?" 

"Alexei!"

"NO, YELENA!" Three figures automatically jumped into a fighting stance when his fist met the table. Alex closed his eyes, attempting to get his breathing, and his emotions, back under control. 

"If you want to help these Avengers, go ahead" He finally said, eyes fixed on his sister's, "but don't expect me to be a part of this." 

Without another word, he got up and left the room, leaving Yelena to pick the pieces of the broken bottle that had rolled off the table. And you, to pick up the pieces of your broken heart. 

"Shhh, it's ok, y/n" Peter, sweet, loyal Peter, tried to envelope you in his arms when he heard the first sob leave your throat, even if he didn't quite understand why it had hurt you so much to be called an Avenger. But Lena was there in a heartbeat, throwing him a dirty look, and taking your face in her hands to force you to look at her instead. 

"Don't listen to him, Likho. You're not an Avenger, you are a widow. You will always be a widow, and always will be a part of this family. Just like your mother."

You nodded, buring your face on your aunt's shoulder. 

"I'll help you, both of you" Yelena declared, eyes meeting Peter's, "Us spiders ought to take care of each other" 

To be continued… 

[bellaslilpapercut]

Oh boy New Moon! I've got some Thoughts a brewin' babey:

1. Smeyer: you do not need to remind your audience what happened last book, they aren't stupid. Imagine if SC started catching fire with ANOTHER explanation of what the hunger games are and that's the vibe of the first chapters of new moon. We remember james, we know what vampires are, we know that Bella is white, stop reminding us!

2. Bella has the worst self esteem of all time. Every bad thing that has happened to her since the Van Incident has been Edward's fault but she still blames herself and idk if this is Intentional Insecurity or if smeyer is protecting edward's "character" or both but gdamn it's depressing.

3. The reason I said Jasper was Inconsistently Written jumped out at me again. Smeyer dedicated a whole paragraph to pointing out how terrible jasper is at the diet or whatever but in the guide, smeyer tells us jasper actively tried to starve himself in the past because of how difficult his gift made feeding. He was one of only two Cullens to show bella empathy, he smelled her blood before, why does he attack her? The weakness of this decision is pointed out in the exposition: if it really were likely that Jasper would attack Bella, she wouldn't have needed a superfluous paragraph dedicated to telling us how bad he is at self control. If the story had convinced us of that beforehand, we would have believed the attack without the addendum.

4. The party is my least favorite part of the whole series and I will die on this hill: edward should have attacked bella. Bella should have tripped into something glass and edward should have lost it because he tasted her blood before and couldn't help himself. That way: edwards self loathing makes sense and he's forced to recon with his superiority complex from the ending chapters of twilight AND bella's self blame makes sense. A vamp who was able to starve himself before he even heard of the cullens should not have lost it around someone he spent days in close quarters with, building rapport and friendship. Edward got too high and mighty after he fed from Bella in Twilight, that should have had real consequence.

5. The writing is getting a little better as we near Edward leaving. "Better" isn't a good word actually but it's getting closer to the prose in twilight (which was flowery and annoying but at least it didn't constantly feel like being spoonfed exposition every paragraph). Hm wrote this blurb while I was still on chapter 3 and the vibe of being spoonfed reminders has not really dissipated lmfao.

We remember Sam Uley, smeyer, you introduced him four chapters ago. Just quick question: did anyone proofread this?? I think it's fair to say: when she isn't reminding us of things that we remember the prose is more similar to twilight. A little annoying but interesting enough to forgive the errors (or at least move past them easily enough lol).

6. I'm on chapter 8 now (I'm gonna break this up into three parts so I don't forget stuff like I did during the twilight reread) and there's a very heavy Vibe that smeyer is setting Jake up to be a parallel for twilight-era Bella. This line here is a pretty clear parallel for Bella telling Edward not to hold his breath in Twilight when he tells her she might get tired of him.

7. This line here "almost happy in a shallow kind of way" really jumped out. What Bella's narration says about Jacob versus her conversations with him (and her one paragraph about his happiness being effortlessly contagious) are at odds. It doesn't read like shallow happiness when she's with Jake. However, Smeyer is also a bad writer, she thinks the story she's telling us is literally what the narration says and not what the action shows and I think she realizes this in Eclipse (but obviously I'm not there yet so I can't say for sure).

8. I really can't get over the drop in writing quality. I know that she had already mostly finished Forever Dawn by the time Twilight was published (or was halfway done, I think her website said she had over 300 pages of forever dawn complete when she found out Twilight was getting published). I think the writing quality really reveals that she was not prepared to write New Moon. It's sloppier than Twilight in a way I'm not able to articulate (by that I mean I personally have a more intuitive than technical understanding of grammar and syntax so I don't have the language to break down the differences). Twilight itself is ripe with technical errors and plot errors and awkward exposition so it's not an overt drop in quality but I think it very much reads like a rushed writing job. She was committed to forever dawn, her publishers wanted New Moon, it shows.

9. I think New Moon was when I first started physically editing my copies of the saga lol. Even reading it now I'm so tempted to open up a word document and cut half of the useless shit out and fix all the grammatical mistakes. I can't even talk shit because I am also a comma-abuser but I hoped an editor would at least catch the errors before publishing. Guess not! Brevity is very clearly not meyers strong suit and this would have been a much stronger sequel if she had been able to reign herself in a bit. New Moon isn't supposed to be as narration heavy as twilight, there's already more action in the first seven chapters than the there was in the first 19 of twilight but she always delivers exposition via awkward dialogue or Bella's narration. Again, we already got a lot of the exposition in twilight, we know how vampires work et cetera. You can show us how bella feels instead of making her tell us and the story would run a lot more smoothly.

10. I'll end on a nice note! Little treat!

This is my favorite part of the book so far. I whited-out the useless dialogue tag because the line reads better without it ( line originally ends with "I emphasized" but she could have been brief and just ended the dialogue with an exclamation point for the same effect). The dialogue is natural and shows the J/B relationship that lives in my head way better than anything else I've seen on the page at this point. Like, I literally love this line more than any dialogue that preceded it (including twilight) lol.

[leeknowsredeyeliner]

break up - choi hyunsuk

hyunsuk x fem reader x yoshi (?)

summary: you finally confront your boyfriend and get everything off your chest. how does it result into a break up?

genre: college au, break up au

word count: 3.8k+

warning: minor cussing, mention of anxiety, minor anxiety attack (passing out), mention of anxiety pills/meds, break up

note: the first sad fanfic i’ve ever written so i hope you enjoy :)

You're trembling at the sight of the audience from backstage, basically the entire university is present. Having anxiety and dreaming of becoming a performer is obviously not the best combination, you always need to have your pills ready in case of an emergency. You're completely used to performing in front of your classmates and a large crowd but they opened the theater until every seat was filled, you can barely see the people in the back.

The only thing that keeps you going is your best friend, he's always front seat at your recitals and other performances. Even when Yoshi's not physically there to cheer you on, you know he's watching from a FaceTime call with your moms. You've been best friends since freshman orientation, you've even thought you would end up together but there was someone else that caught your eye -- your current boyfriend, Hyunsuk.

Most people suspect that Yoshi's your boyfriend because he's always seen around you, but you don't blame them, it logically makes sense. Even you sometimes feel like Yoshi treats you as more than just a best friend. Hyunsuk tends to be busy on weekends which is totally understandable, you just wish he'd make the time and effort to see you perform just once. He's never been to any of your performances or recitals, you wouldn't be surprised if he was unaware of them. Your moms are concerned for your relationship but you repeatedly remind them it's no big deal to you and he's just a busy guy.

"30 seconds," one of the backstage staff whispers passing by you. You mentally prepare yourself for your last performance of the year. 'I can do this.' Is all you repeat in your mind. The only way you can survive is by searching for your silver haired best friend in the audience and he'll give you all the encouragement you need.

"You’re up," the same person from earlier whispers from beside you. You take a deep breath in and out to slightly calm down the rollercoaster of nervousness mixed with puke in your stomach. You make your way on the stage and before the song starts, you don't hesitate to distinctively skim the first row. Your eyes stop near the middle as you see Yoshi with a big smile on his face. He gives you his iconic thumbs up of motivation and the song starts.

You sing your heart out to the audience but caught yourself looking at Yoshi a bit too often. Then again, he's the only one out there that came for you. Not even your moms could make it because of how close the performance is to the holidays.

[7:09pm]

You gather your belongings from the dressing room and speed walk out of the hall. Opening the door to the main hallway, Yoshi is leaning against the wall holding a box of chocolates. You run up to him as his arms open wide, ready for you to tackle him. Your bodies clash together, pulling him into a tight hug. His head nestles into your neck as he mumbles, "You killed it as always, (Y/n)."

"Only because of you. You know I can't do anything without you around," you giggle. You both pull away from the hug then he takes your bag away from you, slinging it over his shoulder.

"What? Am I like your lucky charm?" He jokes and you both laugh but in the back of your mind you take it seriously, he technically is. Whenever he's watching over the phone, you make the slightest mistakes and just pray the audience doesn't notice. His live presence is much more comforting to you. "These are for you. I know you hate flowers because you consider them a waste of space in your apartment." He hands you the box of chocolates -- your favorite box of chocolates.

"Thank you. I'll finish these tonight. Do you wanna go for some cheesecake?" Yoshi and you celebrate after every performance with food or if he's feeling generous, he takes you out to go shopping.

"Ooh, I can't. I'm going out with Asahi and Jihoon. I'll make it up to you tomorrow though."

"There's no need to make up for it, the chocolate's enough." The two of you don't always need to celebrate with food afterwards. Maybe going back to the apartment and spending the rest of the night with Hyunsuk will be better anyway.

"You don't need a ride home?" He asks as you make your way outside of the building.

"It's across the street, I can walk." Perks of living close to the university means saving cash for food.

"Alright, you be safe. And don't forget to take your anxiety meds once he get home," he orders, throwing your bag at you. You say your goodbyes then part ways.

[7:32pm]

You unlock the door to your apartment and while taking your shoes off, you see Hyunsuk's daily pair. It seems like he casually threw them onto the floor with no care in the world. You neatly place them in an available cubby and put your shoes away in their rightful spot.

You walk into your room to see Hyunsuk passed out across the bed. You clean out your bag, putting your belongings away where they belong. While getting dressed into your house clothes, you hear movement from outside the bathroom. Walking out of the bathroom, you throw your hair up into a ponytail.

"When did you get here?" Hyunsuk asks as you join him in the kitchen.

"Around 10 minutes ago? How long have you been home for?"

"I came here straight after school. Where were you?" He casually responds, grabbing a popsicle from the freezer. "Out with Yoshi again?" He asks with a hint of annoyance in his voice, but maybe you're just annoyed with the words that came out his mouth. It's obvious he doesn't listen to a word you say. He really had no idea about your performance? Also, what's the reason for bringing up Yoshi in that way?

"I had my monthly performance," you bluntly say. If he really had no clue, there's no way you'd be able to tolerate his ignorance. The list of things he does that piss you off keeps growing longer and longer.

"Since when do you have monthly performances?" Your eyes follow his body moving from the kitchen to the couch. The TV flickers on and you notice his interest beginning to fade away like in any conversation you've had in the past.

"Can you please turn the TV off when we're talking?" You order him like you're his mother. Does he have even the slightest drop of respect? He treats you like his sidepiece, like you're there to entertainment him whenever he feels like it.

"Don't worry, I'm still listening," he responds with his eyes glued to the TV. His eyes haven't met yours since you've arrived.

Hyunsuk is your first boyfriend. You were never the type to date before college because the only thing occupying your mind was school. Although you started off clueless in relationships, after being with Hyunsuk for a year, you eventually learned the attributes to a toxic relationship and how certain behaviors are formed.

In the beginning, it was never like this, Hyunsuk did anything and everything just to gain your attention for more than 20 seconds, trying to win you over every day. You loved playing hard to get with him, testing his limits. One day, you gave in to him and his constant courting. The two of you became the happy couple everyone aspires to be.

"But I don't want coffee today!" You whine and jump a bit in place to show how desperate you are. "Ice cream please."

"Fine, only because I love you." The word 'no' doesn't exist in his vocabulary, at least when it comes to you. He feels bad when he sees how disappointed you get when things don't go the way you want. You and Yoshi walk through the campus on your way to the ice cream parlor nearby.

Acting like a child is a natural instinct to you. You're the youngest in the family so you were babied the most and those behaviors never faded away. You enjoy your foot to stay in the squares, never touching the lines as you walk along the sidewalks. Yoshi found your actions interesting and would sometimes copy you when he felt like it, other times he'd watch you from behind as your pace quickens.

"Do it with me," you say. It was supposed to come out as an order but the baby side of you stopped yourself. You take Yoshi's hand in yours to line him up to your speed. As you hop over each line, Yoshi walks beside you looking like a loser. "You're so lame. You owe me two ice-"

"Hey, (Y/n)!" Hyunsuk chirps from beside you, cutting you off. Hyunsuk's been convincing you to let him take you on a date for too long. Every day it's the same thing, 'How does this weekend sound?' 'Just one date.' It's not that you didn't want to go out with him, you'd actually enjoy it very much. You just want to test his patience, see how long he can last, and to what extent he'll go to.

You let go of Yoshi's hand and bring your hands to the straps of your backpack. "Uh, hi?" You act totally uninterested. You like to see him stutter and think of ways for you to say more than four words at a time.

"Did you tell Yoshi you want two ice creams? I can buy you two ice cream cones, if that's what you want." If someone is willing to buy you more than one of any kind of food, you're not passing up on that opportunity. Hyunsuk willing to pay for the food just to win you over is quite worrisome though, it's a sign of easy manipulation.

"I guess," you keep your response short.

"It's okay, dude. I can buy for (Y/n)." Yoshi says from the other side of you. He may have not gotten the message that this was a test for Hyunsuk.

"I just got paid, paying for her ice cream won't hurt," Hyunsuk throws a sassy smile at Yoshi. Hyunsuk runs in front of you to get to the ice cream parlor before you and Yoshi.

"You really got him using his money for you, huh?"

"Yup! You know, he seems to like me a lot," you state the obvious.

"Really? Hm, I don't know. To me, it seems like he doesn't even want to be around you," he sarcastically says.

"I kind of like him now," you blurt out.

"A Hyunsuk confession to me? That's a shocker." He's known about who you felt about Hyunsuk for a few days now. He was neither happy nor upset about the news, he must've seen it coming. "What? Are you finally going to answer him today?" He laughs with no idea that you've already created a plan before today.

"Um, yeah." Yoshi stops in his track but you continue to walk, not caring if he gets left behind or not. "Can you walk? I have ice cream waiting for me."

"You're going to tell him? Today?" He sounds absolutely shocked. It's hard to tell whether it's because he's afraid you'd abandon him or maybe he'll feel bad if things don't work the way you'd want.

"Is that not what I just said?" You walk back over to him and wrap your arms together. "Now, let's go."

The two of you walk over to the ice cream parlor and Hyunsuk's already waiting at a table with your two ice cream cones in hand. Yoshi orders his ice cream while you sit with Hyunsuk. "Thanks," you say as he hands you both cones.

"Yeah, no problem. I remember you always had strawberry ice cream at uni so that's what I got you," he flashes a cute smile.

"Do you not have some for yourself?" You ask and he shakes his head. A frown forms on your face, it's unfair that he's bought you dessert but left himself empty-handed. You extend your arm out and force him to take your extra ice cream cone.

"Are you free this Saturday night?" You blurt our before taking a lick of your ice cream.

Hyunsuk's taken by surprise, you're never the one to initiate any conversation that demonstrates interest but you had a sudden burst of boldness. His eyes widen and he begins to stutter, "Oh. I- Well- It's a weekend- Uh-"

You cut him off, his stuttering's cute but you want a straight up answer, "If you're not free, just tell me. We can figure out another day."

"Thursday night?"

"It's a date."

The date is what initiated your relationship, it was a new beginning as a couple and for you as an individual. By the end of the date, Hyunsuk's impatient self had asked you to be his girlfriend and you proudly said yes.

You can't put your finger exactly on when your relationship went downhill, all you know is leading up to your one year anniversary, things changed.

Hyunsuk started off sweet, caring, a whore for your attention but turned into an unsupportive and distant boyfriend. He never takes you out on random dates, walks with you to school in the morning, and most importantly, you don't sleep in the same bed anymore and if you were, there'd be a line of pillows separating you. You're the only person putting in the effort nowadays and it's tiring.

You snatch the remote from beside him and turn off the TV. "What the hell? Give me back the remote!" He slightly raises his voice but it doesn't bother you. He's done it way too many times for it to have any sort of effect you.

"Oh? You want the remote back? Here, take it." You rip the batteries out from the back and slip them into your back pocket. Mercilessly, the remote is thrown onto the couch next to him.

"What the fuck was that for?" He yells yet again. His eyes meet yours for the first time, his eyebrows furrowed and face burning red.

"I can't take this anymore! I've been taking your shit for way too long. What happened to you the past few months, huh? You are a whole 'nother person. You're not the Hyunsuk I met in literature class my freshman year," I scoff. "The old you would do anything to see me, spend time with me. Please, just tel-"

"What do you expect? People change, (Y/n)! Do you want me to stay the same for the rest of my life?" He has a point, people change but never to the extent where they begin to lose interest in their girlfriend's life.

"I expect you to act like my boyfriend! You're never there for me. I'm always at your dance recitals and soccer games but never have you been to one of mine." Your vision becomes blurry because of your teary eyes. "I- I'm so fucking tired. Tired of- of having to look in the crowd and not see my boyfriend's face. Do you know how helpless I feel up on stage? You're supposed to be my number one supporter."

"You have never mentioned your performances before. How was I supposed to know?" This is his excuse? That's the fattest lie ever made on the planet.

"What do you mean?" You raise your voice. Your voice is very unstable and so is your mind, you could break at any second. "I've been bringing it up even before we started dating. I'd tell you every month, 'I have a performance next week. Do you want me to buy you a ticket?' You always have an excuse, it always has to do with work or going out with your friends. Do you just not have time for your girlfriend?"

"No! I don't! I have a social life and I need to pay the bills. All you do is go out with that stupid Yoshi boy!" He had absolutely no business bringing him into this. Is he using Yoshi as an excuse to ignore his own girlfriend?

"Pay the bills?" You quietly say to yourself before repeating it as loud as possible, "Pay the fucking bills? Your money goes straight to drinking with your friends. I am the only one paying the bills here. Me!" His head lowers down from embarrassment because he knows he's wrong. Yes, he makes money, but where does it all go? To food and drinks with his friends the night after earning it. It's a complete waste of money and a complete waste of your time. Because of how much money he spends, you end up working night and morning shifts to earn the money that he's responsible for paying off.

"And what the hell does Yoshi have to do with this? The only reason why the two of us are together so much is because he actually makes the effort to support me. He's my best friend and you're supposed to be my boyfriend. Instead of being a jealous brat, bringing up his name in an argument that has nothing to do with him, why don't you try to act your part?" You say all in one breath.

Just then, you break down into tears. You were holding it all in for too long that the pain and frustration hit you all at once, bringing you down into a ball of tears. Your breathing was obviously uneven as you were crying but it soon became hard to breathe. Hyunsuk stayed quiet the whole time, not knowing what to say or do. Was he supposed to comfort you or let you cry on the floor by yourself? After listening to your constant hiccuping and sobs continuing for god knows how long, he kneels in front of you.

Your cries were longer than usual and from the sound of his voice, he was concerned. "(Y/n)? Di- Did you take your pills when you got home?" You shake your head in response. This is why Yoshi is always there to remind you to take your pills, he knows you tend to forget at night.

"Okay." Hyunsuk disregards everything that's been said the past few minutes to focus on you and your health, "We're going to stand up and get you to the bed." He holds you up from your armpits, lifting you up from the floor. Once all of your weight is on your feet, nothing.

You see absolutely nothing. Pitch black.

[9:12pm]

You open your eyes to face the ceiling and stretch your arms and legs. "You're awake," a voice from beside you says.

"Yo- Yoshi. What are you doing here? What time is it? Where's Hyunsuk?" The questions flood out as you have a hard time remembering what happened to you.

"A lot of questions, huh? It's a bit past 9. Hyunsuk called me and told me about the fight you had and how you passed out. He didn't know how to handle you so he asked me to come over and help. He also didn't know how you'd feel if he was the first person you saw," he lets out a soft giggle at the end.

You forgot about your fight with Hyunsuk. Everything's coming back to you: The annoyance, the slight confusion of his words. You know if he were to walk through the door right now, you wouldn't hesitate to pounce him.

"You forgot to take your medicine when you got home, didn't you?" He breaks your train of thought. He knows you so well.

"Ho- How did you know?"

"Who's the one to call you at 7:40 every night to remind you?" He asks pulling out your phone to show you a missed call from him at exactly 7:40pm. Sometimes, you learn new things about yourself, like how high maintenance you are to the point where you need another person to remind you of what to do every single day.

"I didn't have to take my meds. I just shouldn't have went off on Hyunsuk, then this would've never happened."

Yoshi sighs and gently pats your head, "We both know it was bound to happen. There just needed to be something to trigger it." Again, he knows you so well, a bit too well.

"Can you bring him here? I want to finish my conversation from earlier." Maybe you won't pounce him, you have absolutely no energy for that. But you do need this weight to be lifted off of your shoulders.

"Only if you promise to not attack him or yell at him," he holds out his pinky. You connect your pinkies and do your quick handshake.

"Promise."

Yoshi leaves the room and shortly after, Hyunsuk walks through the door sending you a soft smile. You pat the spot next to you on the bed and he respectfully and quietly sits, waiting for you to say something.

"I think it's time," you softly say. You avoid eye contact with Hyunsuk because you knew if you were to look into his eyes, all it'd reflect is pain. Even though he wasn't the perfect boyfriend, maybe didn't even act like your boyfriend at all, he loves you and no matter how he acts, you both knew that. You never stopped loving him despite how many times he angered and tested you.

"Can we please try again? I swear I'll be the perfect boyfriend to you, (Y/n). I- I was thinking while you were asleep, looking back at the past few months. You put up with so much shit that you shouldn't have had to go through and I'm truly sorry. I want to make it up to you by making things right," he says with hope in his voice. "Please, (Y/n)." You look up at him, he genuinely is sorry. The regret and pain in his teary eyes are strong, no one could see past it.

You take a deep breath to quickly recollect your thoughts, "I'm sorry, Hyunsuk. I'm not happy in this relationship anymore. This could be the time to better ourselves." You keep it short, not wanting to hurt his feelings even more.

"I- I don't get a second chance?" A tear rolls down his face.

"I've given you more than just a second chance these past few months. Maybe in the future we'll have a chance to try again together." You still love Hyunsuk. There's no such thing as a perfect relationship, there's bound to be mistakes and obstacles in the way to drive you apart. If the two of you are truly meant to be then you'll meet again.

"Maybe," he softly says. "Or maybe it's Yoshi that should be given a chance."