#so i might be setting myself up for heartbreak with my cringe little crush

[knightofameris]

naturally — sugawara koushi

✎ gender. uhm neutral? ✎ contains. mutual pining, childhood friends, reader is a manager, also reader has a lot of anxiety when it comes to relationships, not beta read ✎ wc. 1.6k

✎ summary. the time you were thankfully wrong in your assumptions.

✎ ameris’ notes. i came back just to post this because this is my favorite piece I’ve written so far on this blog i think. also noticed many writers deactivating ;—; and just a lack of content (esp for suga). i was originally going to post this when i came back fully along with everything else but this is fine. (i will reply to all messages later <3 thank you everyone for your kind words)

also tried a different writing style for this,,,

i hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as i did writing it. ♡ 

previous title: i thought we already were [i still suck at titles this might still change]

You couldn’t help but slam your head against your desk. Ennoshita sighed at your predicament when it came to the crush you had on your upperclassman, Sugawara Koushi. Except, to you he was so much more. Not in just the fact that he was your crush but he’s been someone you’ve known for almost your entire life. 

“What if he doesn’t like me, Ennoshita,” you cried into your arms, not able to take the heartbreak that could come with Sugawara rejecting your feelings and your 10+ year friendship turning to dogshit. 

Ennoshita tapped his fingers against the desk, “I don’t think he’d break off your friendship just like that even if he didn’t. And if he doesn’t like you I personally give you permission to murder myself and-or Tanaka, your choice.” 

In a different class at the time, Tanaka sneezed in the middle of eating his sandwich. 

At this point, Ennoshita, and every other club member, was tired. Even Sugawara would shrug when Daichi asked him in the clubroom what was going on between him and you. Asahi, the one who was possibly the most oblivious when it came to people pining for another, was even frustrated at how the two of you would dance around each other. 

“Why don’t you just ask them out?” Asahi asked Sugawara. In the middle of changing, Sugawara stopped in thought, his shirt barely on. 

“Hmm, I don’t want to ask them before they’re ready,” Sugawara answered simply, sliding his shirt on over his head. 

It was a rough life being friends with both you and Sugawara. 

It was sort of sweet though, no? The fact that Sugawara wanted to wait till you were ready. He knew about your anxieties when it came to relationships. It wasn’t that your past relationships were bad, per se, but rather any time you’d enter one the anxieties just came through. Sometimes it’d be insecurities or suddenly the red flags would pop up. It was as if entering the relationship made you realize how much of a terrible person the other was. 

You didn’t want that for Koushi. So he’d wait, wait till you’re comfortable to talk things out. But he will admit that it is maybe a little frustrating some days. 

Especially, especially, the days when you’re closer than usually. Physically. Emotionally.

Some days you’d find yourself lying in Koushi’s bed after finishing a bit of homework. He’d be sitting on the floor at the table, still working the last few problems. You’d both have a small conversation, something to fill the room while he finished up. Then he’d crawl into bed, next to you. 

“Just like when we were kids, right?” He’d grin at you, and you couldn’t help the way you felt your cheeks heat up. 

“Yeah, just like when we were kids,” you’d reply and reach out for his hands, shifting to lay on your side. Koushi doing the same and inching even closer to you. He’d bring your hands up to chest level, playing with your fingers just like he’d do when the two of you were younger. 

And then the two of you would fall asleep. His arm draped over your waist, pulling you close into his chest with your legs tangled with his. 

You always fell asleep last, always so anxious about the whole ordeal. It’s different sleeping and cuddling together when you’re older compared to when you were both younger. 

When you were younger it was just platonic feelings. And now that you’re both older and know about romantic feelings, well, something bloomed between the two of you. 

Before you’d fall asleep you’d stare up at his soft face, your fingers slightly hovering over his face and especially over the beauty mark that you loved so much. He was no longer embarrassed about it like he used to be (because of you and your adoration for it). Then your hand would return back to resting on his chest and you’d nuzzle your head into him as well. 

Koushi’s breathing always soothed you; it was deep and heavy. Always peaceful as you watched his chest rise and fall. You nuzzled your face into him even deeper if it was possible, your fingers lightly tapping against his sturdy chest. 

He smelled a bit like lavender. It was subtle, sweet and calming. There were a few other scents too but they weren’t overbearing and never quite lingered in your nose like the lavender scent. And whenever you think about him, you just think of Koushi’s lavender scent as well as how he smelled like home. 

Home. 

Yeah, being with him felt like home. Even when—no—especially when your own home didn’t feel like home. You felt comfortable with him, like it was you and him versus the world. This felt natural, normal. 

The lingering glances, the subtle touches. 

I think it was safe to say that you’re in love. You felt stupid for saying so, even thinking so. You are in high school, barely seventeen as a second year. People would always cringe when high schoolers said they were in love. 

But no one can invalidate your feelings. Only you knew what you felt and no one could say otherwise. 

You’re in love with Sugawara Koushi and it didn’t scare you. 

You’re in love with Sugawara Koushi and it comforted you. 

You knew him better than you knew yourself and you were sure he felt the same about you, knowing you well, I mean. You still weren’t sure if he returned your feelings. 

That’s how you found yourself outside his house, standing in front of him. Sugawara stared at you, head tilted with confusion since usually the two of you would just head in to get started on homework. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked, his hand reaching for yours. He called out for you again, your name gracing his lips. His thumb rubbed small circles on the back of your hand and you looked down off to the side, scared and unsure. 

“I-uhm,” your heart felt like it was going to leap out of your throat. Speaking was hard, and god you don’t think you could stare up at him while you confessed your feelings. 

Rip it off like a bandaid. Just rip it off like a bandaid. Just. Rip it off! LIKE A—

With closed eyes and your hand clasping around his, you stuttered out, “I-I-uh-I really like you Koushi! It’s-It’s fine if you don’t, y’know, feel the same. I just-I just had to tell you.” 

You pursed your lips and the small caresses on the back of your hand stopped. Good thing you planned to do this before entering into his house. Now you could just book it home. But then he laughed and his hand holding yours tightened back before you could run off; as if he knew you were going to do so. 

You just confessed to Sugawara Koushi and he’s laughing. You felt like crying, honestly. 

But Koushi was laughing because he was relieved. Relieved that he didn’t have to hold back anymore, that he no longer had to wait. Koushi had wanted you to make the first move because he already knew you liked him. He just wanted you to feel comfortable enough with your feelings before anything else happened. 

All of the soft touches, the cuddling, the approaching you from behind and hugging you as you do manager work, Koushi let happen naturally. Because they were natural. It’s not like you didn’t do it back. 

Whenever he’d be on break, drinking water he’d find your arms wrapped around his torso no matter how sweaty he was. Or on bus rides to practice matches or to the Sendai gym for games the two of you would sit next to each other and one of you would always fall asleep with your head resting against the other’s shoulder. 

And you know, maybe Koushi was partially laughing at the fact that you couldn’t tell he likes you back. He thought it was obvious at least. 

“Wh-what are you laughing about Koushi!” You pouted, tears slightly gathering at the corner of your eyes out of anxiety and fear of rejection. 

“No, no, nothing bad, you’re so cute,” he sighed out, a smile apparent on his face as he took a step closer to you. “It’s just that-” he gestures with his free hand back and forth between you and himself “-I thought you knew I liked you. Because I knew you liked me. And with how we’ve been cuddling and—”

“Ah!” You shouted, lightly hitting his chest with your free hand. He let out an ‘oof’ before you placed your head against his chest out of embarrassment. You felt his chest reverberate as he laughed, his other hand coming up to rest on the top of your head, his fingers drawing soothing circles on your scalp. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” you asked, your voice muffled against his chest. Koushi sighed, the corners of his lips tugging upwards. 

“I thought we already were, y’know, together? I just wasn’t too sure,” Koushi replied. “I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable either. Wanted to wait till you were comfortable.”

“What if I never was?”

“I’d wait forever then.” 

You huffed against his chest, wrapping your other arm around him, the hand holding his tightening. Koushi set his arm around your back, pulling you in closer as he turned to place his cheek against your head. 

“You’re cheesy, Kou.” y

“Only for you.” He turned his head to kiss the crown of yours before laying his cheek against you once more. “Now let’s go inside, get some homework done and cuddle some more.”

“I hate you.” 

Koushi hummed, being the first to pull away, holding your hand tightly to walk towards his house, “Whatever you say. I know you don’t.” 

✎ ameris’ notes. a scene straight from my and my friends’ self-ship AU that I thought could work well as a reader-insert LOL. shifted it around so that their characters (themself?) don’t appear. actually well, it’s not really straight from it. i haven’t written this part in the AU but i wanted to write it anyway hahdfkjhakjfh LOL i tried my best not to make reader too much like myself, i only used part of the reason for relationship anxiety of mine looool. 

[k7l4d4]

Midnight Striga: Fairy Tail/Owl House Cross Fic Episode 5 Part 6

Once more, we delve into the world of Midnight Striga! Everybody Clap Your Hands!!

Eda roared, leaping toward the man, the monster, who had just casually murdered a child right in front of her!! Whipping her staff down to crush his skull, she was caught dumb when he casually leaned out of the way, a frost clad fist slamming into her face as she fell forward. A gasp of pain burst out as she was sent sprawling. Luckily, Eda had been in plenty of brawls. Gathering her wits, she tucked into a roll, coming up flat on her feet.

“If you think I’ll go easy on you ‘cause you’re human, you’ve got another thing coming!!” She shouted, eyes glancing at Lily, still prone against the wall. What was up with her, this was an emergency!! She growled, shifting herself to spring between Lily and the goons following that monster.

“Go... easy... on me? Pfft HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!” The bastard laughed, actually laughed!, at Eda’s claim, as if the idea that she could beat him was so utterly ridiculous it deserved nothing but ridicule. The fact that his goons echoed him was like rubbing salt in the wound. “That- That was truly amusing!! In exchange for that wonderful jest, allow me to introduce myself.” He bowed, a mocking leer stretched across his face. “I am Rudolph Cranwin, practitioner of the most noble art of Frost Magic, not that I ever really cared about the alleged nobility of it; twas but another tool for me to kill with, nothing more. I look forward to seeing how long I can drag out your demise!!” He said cheerfully, as if her death would be the highlight of his day.

‘To this piece of shit, it might very well be.’ Eda bitterly thought to herself. Her thoughts were cut off by his next words.

“However,” Rudolph mused, “This crowd truly is far too large. Better to thin it out a bit before I let my precious brethren have their fun.” He raised his hand, a cold wind building into a ball in his palm. Eyes widening in shocked comprehension, Eda lunged forward, a massive ball of flames building along Owlbert. She had to get there in time, she needed to! If she didn’t… Rudolph gave her a mocking smile. “Too late, Owl Lady. Winter Spite.” With those two words, the ball exploded in all directions. A huge burst of extreme cold, so deep that it effortlessly extinguished Eda’s building spell, ripped through the stadium. In an instant, the entire place was coated in frost. Just from what she could see on the ground, Eda saw several Demons and Witches in the crowd frozen in place, ice and frost coating their bodies; from the few she could clearly see, at minimum twenty had died, a quarter of which were children. The smallest she could see looked to be about five. As if some signal had gone off, the hoard of Mages lurking behind Rudolph burst forth, screaming in bloody rage, sickening grins coating their faces, spells primed to rip and tear.

“Tree Shot!” “Big Head Blast!” “Sword Beam!” “Wind Cleave!”

Eda braced herself for the attacks; a tree root tore out of the ground, ripping across Eda’s ribs, a spell shaped like a giant head rocketed past her, a beam of light shaped like a blade cut into the stadium, and slashes of winds tore at the bystanders. And more. So many more. They weren’t all incredibly powerful, but they all had something in common; the palpable desire to hurt leaked out of each and every one. Bearing her fangs, Eda whirled around, launching a wave of magic upwards, cutting off as many spells as she could. Her quick timing was used against her, however, when a blast of cold smashed against her back, sending her flying.

“Ah, ah, ah! No interfering with the games, Owl Lady!” Rudolph mockingly chided. She turned her head towards him, eyes burning with hate. He merely grinned. “If the crowd wishes to live, they must defend themselves, or have one of their own act as a champion! You, and your sister I suppose, are my prey.” Rushing into her guard, his palm glowed. “Winter Punt.” A burst of frigid air formed underneath her gut, angled upward, and as it released, Eda choked on her own air as it drove her into the sky.

What was with this guy!? She had decimated Lily earlier, and while she was feeling some of the effects of pushing herself that hard, that quickly, she shouldn’t be this hampered. She sighed, freezing up as she saw her breath, as if she was in the middle of winter. She looked down, and saw her limbs coated in patches of frost, weighing her down, slowing her reactions, and who knows what else. She genuinely didn’t even feel the cold, not really, but her body was acting as if she was naked in a blizzard!!

Rudolph smirked. “I see you’ve noticed.” He chuckled, slowly stalking towards the Witch and her prone sibling. “Yes, a fun little aspect of my magic is that it clings to the body of those it hits, slowing them, filling them with cold, stilling the flow of magic. The longer our fight goes on, the slower, weaker, and more feeble you will become.” He cocked his head, a look of mockingly fake sympathy playing across his features. “Oh, how tragic, to be cut down so short.” He cackled, an uproarious sound that resounded through the arena.

“Bastard.” Eda bit out, trying and failing to flake the frost off her limbs. “If I wasn’t dealing with this, he’d be flatter than paper!!” She glanced back at her sister, still stuck in that pose from where she had dropped, dead to the world, tears pooling at her feet. ‘What’s up with you, Lily? We don’t have time for this! ...Please, whatever’s going on, I’ll help you, but you have to snap out of it!’

Luz growled as she and the others passed by yet another corpse, this one bearing the distinctive signs of Retic’s harvesting; the chest ripped open, organs carefully partitioned and severed from the surrounding tissue, and the corpse tossed aside like a rag doll, whatever body parts he didn’t take flopping uselessly. The others stoically pointed forward, steadfastly ignoring the gore and death surrounding them; they knew that if they stopped, they wouldn’t continue. But with each corpse, each tragedy they passed, the burning rage built up within them.

“So…” Willow drawled, trying to distract them from the horrors surrounding them. “You mentioned you were a member of this group. What was that like?” She instantly felt like kicking herself, but it was the only thing she could think of off the top of her head.

Luz snorted, but decided to answer; it would come out eventually. “I wasn’t a member of the Black Dog Squad specifically, but I often got saddled to them; they provided a big, bloody distraction, I completed the objective, whether it was stealing a priceless relic, assassinating an enemy, or just setting the pieces for something bigger in motion, I got it done. I hated every second of it.” It was truly the most painful chapter of her life, bar nothing.

“If you hated it, why did you join?” Amity stated more than asked. Truthfully, Amity cringed at the accusatory note in her voice; all of this pain was like nothing she had experienced before. The fact that the girl in front of her, that snarky, selfless, free-spirited girl had been in any way connected to a group capable of this? It was jarring. She had to know why.

Luz gave a small chuckle, the kind of empty, hollow ache that only came from someone trying to humor the most tragic and heartbreaking of requests. “I didn’t exactly want to join. Suffice to say, I entered Oroboros’ field of vision when I interfered in a few of their operations, not that I knew it at the time. They ended up deciding to pay me a visit. The reason? Join them, or someone will die.”

Gus cocked his head in perplexedness, deciding to ask what he felt they all were thinking. “Well, you didn’t seem to have a problem sacrificing yourself earlier.” He hoped he didn’t sound accusing, but it really was confusing to him.

Luz snorted, morbidly amused. “I never said I was the one being threatened with death.” She calmly replied, causing the others to pause for a second. Luz continued, nonchalant. “Yeah, whenever Oroboros decides it wants someone in its ranks, but they have a few too many morals, they take a hostage, someone that person cares about dearly.” The others felt a sinking feeling at Luz’s words, as she rambled on. “Whenever the recruit talks back, their hostage gets beaten. Whenever they fail, their hostage has a limb broken. Whenever they succeed, the hostage gets a wonderful meal, after having been deprived of all but the bare minimum of food and water needed to keep them alive during the extent of the mission of course. Every aspect of an Objectionary Recruit’s time with Oroboros, someone like myself, is intertwined with the health and safety of their hostage. If the Recruit dies, so does the hostage.” She finished, walking on.

The others exchanged alarmed glances, before Willow spoke up, voice loaded with uncertainty. “Then… did you leave your hostage behind?” She didn’t think Luz had, none of them did, but the only other alternative…

“HAHA!!” Luz cackled, as if what she asked was funny. “No. No I didn’t. They begged me to leave, to save myself, to do the right thing. But I didn’t! I stayed. I killed, and stole, and ruined countless lives, for the life of someone dear to me. But, ultimately, it was for nothing. A guard, one who would’ve been a perfect fit for the Black Dogs if it weren’t for his lack of magical training, decided he wanted to have some fun. My hostage took exception to that. An hour later, their bodies were found. The guard had been strangled with his own belt… my hostage had a knife slid into her liver.” She turned her head towards the others, an almost beatific look on her face. “It’s hard to threaten someone with a hostage when they’re dead, afterall.” And then, Luz laughed, the broken, empty laugh of someone who didn’t know how to find any other way to make it stop hurting.

And so the group moved onward in silence, the Witchlings carefully ignoring the splotches of tears that followed behind them; they didn’t want to tell Luz she’d been crying ever since she started talking.

Boscha growled, hastily ducking under another clumsy swing from the disgusting pile of fat in front of her. With a roar, she leapt into the air, an axe kick launched for the fat thing’s head, a curved blade of bloody flames trailing in its wake. She yelped when he caught her kick, slamming her into the ground with a painful Crack! Cursing, she bobbed under another lunge, slamming a burning fist into his stomach, something that prompted a horrific squeal from the disgusting beast.

His smile dimmed, Fatso charged Boscha with a roar, his mouth distending into the massive chasm of flesh he used to swallow his foes. Screaming in challenge, Boscha belted out a burst of flames, gushing from her mouth; it was an honestly surreal experience to be literally breathing fire!! Fatso squealed, flailing back from the flames that avoided his colossal mouth. Boscha smirked. ‘So I just have to keep him from eating my attacks, eh?’

“Try and eat this, you fat fuck!” She shouted, unleashing a wave of flames. Even if he ate some of it, the rest would scorch him badly, something Fatso was apparently smart enough to realize. With a shocking level of agility and strength, he hurled himself into the air, beaming in childish delight. Out of the line of fire, he opened his maw, inhaling with all he had; the massive wave of flames was sucked into his gut. Boscha cursed. Why wasn’t this working!? Her flames, her damnable flames, the one thing she could reliably use, were worthless against this creep!! Whispers started creeping in, the sound of screams building in her head. She shook it off as best she could; she knew trying to fend it off was temporary, but she couldn’t afford to be distracted.

“Oooooohhh you’re a funny one! IIiiiiiiii’llll have lots of fun tenderizing you!” Fatso cheered, rushing up to Boscha, slamming his corpulent fists into her legs, a scream of agony ripping out of her throat; he had definitely snapped a bone or two. Before she could move, he gripped her by the skull, violently slamming her against the stone. “Iiiiii’mmmm gonna have so much fun with you, and when you get all nice and tender, I’ll get to eat you all up! Wooooonnnnn’ttttt that be fun!?” He kicked her in the stomach, her lunch spilling out in response. “Aaaaaawwwww, you lost all that food! Tttthhhhaaaaattt’ssss no good! Nooooowwwwww you won’t taste as yummy when you get in my tummy!” He whined, hurling her away in annoyance. He pursed his lips, placing a pudgy finger on them. “HHHhhhmmmmm maybe I’ll have better luck if I try finding that scarf girl?”

Boscha’s eyes snapped open. Shakily rising to her feet, she screamed. “YOU KEEP AWAY FROM HER!!” With a roar, she rushed him, only for him to dismissively backhand her away, not even bothering to look at her.

“YYyyyoooouuu’rrrrrreee no fun anymore.” He said without a glance, waddling off. “Aaaaaaalllllll you can do is throw that stupid fire. Nnnnoooooo fun, no fun at all eating the same stupid trick.”

“Fun?” Boscha whispered, eyes widening in incredulousness. “You think this is supposed to be FUN!?” She half-screamed. Tears started building in her eyes. “HOW IS KILLING US, ATTACKING US WHEN WE’VE DONE NOTHING TO YOU, SUPPOSED TO BE FUN!?!?!?”

“Hhhuuuuuuuhhhh? Wwwwwhhhhaaatttt kinda stupid question is that? IIiiiiiittttt’ssss fun because I’m strong, and you’re weak.” He said, as if saying that the sky was red, or that plants were purple. “Tttthhhheeee boss said that, because I’m part of Oroboros, I can do whatever I want, eat anything I want, anyone I want, because I’m strong and they can’t stop me, so whatever I do is fun, because I say it’s fun!!” He cheerfully explained. “Eeeeaaaaatttttiiinnnnnggg is so much fun, I could eat forever!!!! BBbbuuuuuuttttt when I eat people-meat, it’s even more fun, because they give the bestest screams when they go in my tummy!!” He patted his gut for emphasis.

Boscha’s blood pounded in her ears. Strong? This… fat piece of TRASH thought he was strong!? No… he didn’t know the meaning of the word. She had seen real strength. He might’ve been powerful, but he wasn’t strong. If he faced someone with real strength, he’d be crying like a bitch. Boscha pulled herself to her feet, utterly indifferent to her previous pain, nothing but burning rage flowing through her veins at the moment. Flames sparked, sputtered… and raged. Boscha wasn’t sure if she was fully conscious at the moment, but she didn’t care. This bastard had threatened one of the few things in this life she actually cared about still, and he had the balls to pretend he knew what strength was, and that he was strong?

Flames pooled at her feet. In a burst of heat, Boscha zipped to Fatso’s side, fist cocked back. With a roar filled with the rage of a wild animal, Boscha slammed her fist so hard against his gelatinous face, she would swear later that she felt his bones bend around her fist. “You think you’re strong?” She asked, the deathly calm doing nothing to hide the burning hate hidden within.

As Fatso rocketed back, eyes snapped wide open in disbelief, Boscha rushed in, flame-clad knee slamming into his gut, watching in grim amusement as he coughed up a mix of blood and miscellaneous bits, whether the blood was his own or not was up for debate. “You don’t know anything about strength.” She ducked under his clumsy swing, landing a clean blow to the throat, prompting him to choke. “Strength isn’t about lording what power you have above someone else.” She slammed across his face, knuckles landing a solid hit to his eyes. “It isn’t acting as if you’re above the same rules and laws everyone has to follow.”

He grunted, and roared, swinging both arms down towards her skull. She leaned back, letting the attack whiff by, slamming home a kick to his chin. “It’s about making a difference.” She caught his next punch, her eyes narrowing at the panic in his gaze. “It’s about looking after what’s precious to you.” She twisted his arm to the side, prompting a squeal of pain. His eyes furrowed, before he lunged forth, attempting to swallow her, only for her to catch his face with her free hand, fingers covering his eyes and digging into his temples, arresting his movement. “It’s what happens when you stop standing on the sidelines to cruelty, or acting to further cruelty yourself.” Flames started licking up her arm, prompting Fatso to start struggling.

“I don’t think you’ve ever seen real strength before.” She casually continued, ignoring his screams as the flames scorched his face. “I wonder, if I had never seen real strength, would I have turned out as something like you?” She pondered, even as Fatso begged and pleaded for her to let go. “Even so…” She murmured, glaring at Fatso, even as his skin blackened and peeled under her grip. “How can you call yourself strong… when you’re losing to someone AS WEAK AS ME!?!?!?!?” She screamed, wetness pouring down her face. She screamed and screamed and screamed, all while the skin, fat, flesh, and what little muscle remained of his body all turned to ash, tears pouring down her face all the while. When all that was left was his scorched, pitted, blackened skeleton, Boscha fell to her knees, tears falling in pools. “I’m so sorry I’m weak. Maybe if I was stronger… you wouldn’t have had to die so slowly.” And with those words, Boscha fell, her strength spent.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

i’m very bemused about the developments (nothing really happened lol) re: riawin this episode..........

like naturally her implying like “oh you’re wholly unattractive to me of course” is. not the most encouraging and natch like, i guess overall my takeaway is to be like “well i guess i should brace myself harder for the intention re: this arc to just be that winston has a hopeless unrequited crush and rian thinks he’s alright but is wholly uninterested b/c why would anyone be interested lol” And Yet i still can’t write it off as [winston is just gonna be the butt of the joke as a cringe loser with a fail one-sided crush] b/c like. it still wasn’t entirely clear-cut??? and it’d be really easy to shoot him down even harder / have her be more obviously repulsed and >:/ about it or whatever

like a) complicating factor that nobody’s sober in this scene, though we can maybe read into it as both of them being a bit more Unfiltered than usual and b) complicating factor that it’s been made clear that rian likes to mess with him and has prior insulted him while not Really making it about dunking on him, i.e. her calling him a douche while arguing for him Not being fired, and here it’s like....his attention can’t be Completely cringe and fail to her, in that she’s like. fine to talk to him, obviously he’s at least not like, getting the [oh god the quant being interested in someone? how awful for them b/c that must be so gross and annoying / frustrating for them] and. at the very least rian seems not antagonized l o l.......not saying the most, but it would be Very plausible for billions to have gone that route of like. the Joke being that someone is dealing with the cringe quant’s fail romantic interest

aaaand again i’m moved Slightly more in the direction of “://// guess i’d better at least Expect it could very well just Stay a one-sided crush” like, keep that 60/40 or whatever lol, And Yet.......you’d think that it’d be 100/0 either way by now? as weird as it is that, if this is something that’s gonna Happen, we’re 3 eps in and nobody’s kissed b/c usually billions gets there in 2 episodes so that’s a hell of a slow burn, on the flip side it’s Also weird that we’re 3 episodes in and winston’s been crushing from the start and he hasn’t had that crush entirely shot down either? like, if billions was doing the “joke” of winston being a loser whose Interest / attention is Obviously unwanted and repulsive to whomever is the would-be recipient, it’s hardly cashing in on that joke very much? and it’s odd that this is being so drawn out lmao like. you’d think it’d have let that be a running joke of winston showing his [i have a crush] hand too much and rian going “ugh god” about it a few times and maybe finally dunking him into “I Am Clearly Completely Uninterested” zone but like......while this was, again, hardly encouraging, it hasn’t been That. aaand i’m not sure what billions would be saving that for?

like, even without the behind the scenes, info, 5x05 pretty clearly establishes Winston Has A Crush, and then their content in 5x06 isn’t very heartwarming but it still continues that, and here we have winston clearly like. seemingly not Not as taken with rian as ever even after that would-be disheartening exchange. sure, it Could just be like, putting the emphasis on being Hopelessly smitten or whatever lmao, but like, why are they continuing to set this up???? i suppose they might just at some point forget about it / drop the thread for no reason l o l but let’s assume they Don’t, billions isn’t the most prone to like. something like this being Built Up and then fading out quietly with no mention. so you know, either Relationship happens or a bit of heartbreak does. or i suppose it could be relevant in some totally coincidental way where like, the quant having Feelings plays into something that would otherwise be unrelated in an unexpected way. if this Isn’t unrequited, it’s taking a while to get there by billions standards for sure, and if it’s doomed, it’s Also taking a while to get there, and you’d think billions would lean harder into the Joke of winston’s crush being wholly unwanted and so cringe & fail of him or whatever

like ultimately this has all sure been Very set up and it’s sure weird we don’t really know where this [the Quants] plotline is going lmao like. made it v clear winston has a crush, and for What? which isn’t rhetorical like, seriously, for what lol. cuz going into this i’d’ve thought a) they’d get around to kissing already or b) winston and/or him having ~feelings~ for rian would not come up at all or c) he’d get fully shut down......and it was weird that it Did come up again but he was once more only kind of shut down but not out and out rejected? like, is this just a really slow burn, where she’s continuing to enjoy messing with him for the moment (we know she Knows he likes her and like, despite the lowered filter, it’s weird to arbitrarily bring up how hot you find something or someone or not l o l ....), or i suppose it’s possible she could like him Better as time goes on, billions doesn’t tend to wanna take its time with this stuff, but who knows, it Is taking its time with this one way or another. b/c otherwise like, this is a little mean of the show towards the character lol if the plan is for this to be a 4ever Unrequited Crush and he’s still pining 3 eps in and who knows how many more after this? not like billions has been too interested in being kind to winston, but s5 Has been better for him in some ways for sure, and again it *is* like. telling us for three episodes in a row “winston has a crush” like. okay and what’s going to come of that!!! if the “point” of dragging this out is just like. haha winston has a crush, what an idiot, then that’s like....mean to him lmao & you’d think if it was the point, billions would be Meaner about it, since like, all of s4 was like “look how Everyone is annoyed by winston and expressing this disdain for him and he doesn’t know how to have any social appeal, let’s dunk on him” lol.........and like, the even worse version of that i guess would be like, rian knows he likes her (which we know is true) and it’s entirely unrequited (which Might be true) and she likes messing with him (which seems to be true) and is just like, having fun using his crush as an avenue to thusly mess with him. which would not be nice. hopefully that’s not the case, b/c it doesn’t seem like rian does have any genuine contempt for winston or anything like that, and b/c i wouldn’t want her to be someone who does actually want to talk to him (which does seem to be true also lol) but whose Amusement with him (which has seemed 2 be harmless so far) is like. Does have a contemptuous streak to it where it’s like, she might not want to openly dunk on him or roll her eyes or tell him his metaphors are stupid or whatever, but it’d be more along the lines of like, the inherent Disrespect of viewing him as more a source of entertainment than as a person you’d want to connect with in any way. that would suck & it’d be mean of the show to be like “here’s someone who doesn’t hate winston from the start!!! but she just fundamentally dislikes him in a way that manifests entirely differently, actually” l o l..........this Worst Route would be so unnecessary in so many ways

anyways but yeah just writing out thoughts here and i’m like, well this episode all could’ve been worse lmao, and it’s just a little perplexing why this is The Third Episode In Which Winston Has A Crush and there just hasn’t been any resolution one way or another? like, what is the plan for this. rian kind of going out of her way to imply he’s wholly unappealing sure means that even if he’s clearly sweeter on her than ever that’s sort of......cancelled out by her first saying something about him Would be hot if it wasn’t him, and then by telling him she knows he likes her but just.....changing the subject lol..........like, why wasn’t he just smacked completely down in this episode. it wasn’t encouraging, i’m moving a step towards “well i guess it’s slightly more likely it’s meant to be Eternally Unrequited rather than a total coin toss” but i still don’t feel like it really tipped the scales either way and i wish it would’ve lmao like. if i *did* really think this was nailing the coffin shut i’d embrace that, would rather be bitter about it but have closure going into an indefinite hiatus than not. but this is still weirdly up in the air and yet they’re clearly like “this is a thing!!! winston having a crush on the rian is a thing!!! for these past three episodes” and that’s a long time in terms of Billions Arcs for us to Essentially be in the same place as the end of 5x05. if winston’s feelings aren’t returned and aren’t going to be at any point, why does his crush still matter? why not just let it be like, winston expresses his crush more clearly, rian more clearly lets him know it’s never gonna happen? if they Are gonna kiss or something, why is rian being quite as negative there lmao and why is it getting such a slowburn. it’s definitely a case where Winston’s Feelings Matter and don’t seem to be a total joke, which i appreciate, but i’d also appreciate some resolution here, is the tl;dr i suppose lmao

[spidey-dood]

Guitars and Headaches - Peter Parker x singer!fem!reader

Summary: The one where Peter Parker has a crush on the girl with the voice of an angel.

Warnings: None? Fluff w/ some cringe. Also unedited whoops. 

Word Count: 1417

A/N: My first fic!! I’m actually kind of proud of how this turned out?? Like it’s not my best and I absolutely hate how I ended it but?? I don't know I’m just happy that I’m getting into writing again because I haven't had any motivation for sooo long!! Feel free to leave feedback or send in requests!! Also I might do a part 2 for this?? I was going to write more but it felt right to end it there sooo yeah I might make a part two with the rest!!

Masterlist

The café was buzzing with warm chatter when Peter Parker walked in, Ned and MJ in tow. It was a Friday night and the trio had decided to visit one of the many small cafés of New York, and this one just so happened to be hosting an open mic. The crowd held a modest amount of people, all intently watching the performer on stage -a man with an acoustic guitar singing about some sort of heartbreak. He wasn't there for much longer, though, as he had been nearing the end of his song when the group had walked in, and was now mumbling a few words of thanks before leaving the small stage. One of the baristas, clad in black jeans and a coffee stained t-shirt, approached the microphone as the crowd applauded. He held a notepad in his hand, reading the next person’s name off the paper. 

“Our next performer will be y/n!”, he said a little too enthusiastically for ten o’clock on a Friday night. Regardless, the crowd erupted into yet another round of applause as a girl stepped onto the stage, an electric guitar slung around her shoulders by the leather strap. She plugged the guitar into an amp before fiddling with the settings a little bit. A few words of encouragement emitted from the crowd, suggesting that she was a regular performer. The girl stood up, standing in front of the microphone and smiling at the audience. It was now that Peter got a good view of her face, his mouth parting ever so slightly at the sight of her. 

Her eyes sparkled under the café lights, holding such joy and passion that made butterflies erupt in his stomach. Her hair sat in soft waves, draping over her shoulders, and she wore a little red dress with buttons down the centre that twirled around her legs when she moved. Peter thought she was absolutely captivating, however he was dragged out of his trance when MJ released an amused snort.

“Maybe you should take a picture, Parker. It’d sure last longer”, she remarked, causing a blush to rise to his cheeks. 

“What? I wasn't staring”, he said, eyebrows knotting together. He knew it was pointless, though. It was quite obvious that he’d been staring and MJ had caught him.

“Uh, yeah dude, you were”, Ned said.

“And it was creepy”, MJ added, only intensifying Peter’s embarrassment. It quickly faded though when the girl began to sing, bringing to Peter‘s attention that he hadn't heard her introduce herself since he was too busy being embarrassed by his friends. He watched as she began to strum the guitar, playing fluid chords that complimented her voice perfectly. Her voice was warm and smooth, hitting every note flawlessly. Peter noticed that her face was very animated when she sang -her eyebrows raising when she hit high notes, and furrowing when she sang low. Her boot clad feet tapped to the rhythm of the song, syncing with Peter’s increased heartrate. The song ended all too soon, and the girl was taking a brief bow before walking off stage.

“Wow”, MJ said, “she was-”

“-amazing”, Peter interrupted, his voice coming out as more of a sigh. MJ glared at him for interrupting her, however nodded her head in agreement.

“You're still a creep for staring though”, she said, “I’m going to get a drink -you want anything?”

Peter shook his head, his mind still clouded with the girl. Ned, however, nodded eagerly and followed MJ to the counter, leaving Peter on his own. Realising how awkward he looked standing on his own, he sat at a nearby bench which faced the window. He took out his phone and scrolled though his Instagram, trying to look more casual and yet still managing to look incredibly awkward. It didn't help when someone walked past and an unknown object collided with the back of his head. Whatever it was, it hurt. Peter held the back of his head as he hissed in pain.

“Oh my gosh, I am so sorry”, a feminine voice sputtered, grabbing Peter’s attention. It was the girl from before, “I wasn't paying attention and I had my guitar on my back and I forgot that it sticks out a lot and -is your head okay?”

A blush spread across her cheeks from her excessive talking -she did that a lot, especially when she was nervous. Peter gave her a small smile, ignoring the light throbbing pain in his head.

“Don't worry about it”, he said, “I’m fine.”

She let out a relieved sigh, before taking a seat next to him at the bench. She still had her guitar on her back and was careful not to hit anyone else with it as she pulled herself up on the stool. Unbeknownst to Peter, Ned and MJ had been watching the encounter from another table, choosing not to interrupt the pair. 

“I’m y/n”, the girl smiled, holding out her hand for Peter to shake. He gently took it, trying not to think about how soft her palm was.

“Peter”, he replied, “I, uh, watched you sing before -you’re really good.”

“Thanks”, she said, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. She had always been shy about receiving compliments, especially when they were coming from a cute boy, and this boy she thought was very cute. She had a thing for brown eyes, and his were making her stomach flip. Not to mention the little curl of hair that fell onto his forehead, which she thought was adorable. 

“Um, do you sing here often?”, he asked, wanting desperately to make conversation so she wouldn't leave. 

“Almost every Friday night”, she nodded, “my dad’s the owner so I convinced him to start hosting open mics every week, it helped me get over my stage fright, y’know, since there aren't that many people here -or at least, there weren't many when I started.”

Peter hung onto her every word -her voice sounded beautiful even when she was merely talking. He couldn't believe that a girl like her had ever suffered from stage fright -especially after seeing how natural she looked on stage.

“Well that's good, because y’know, you’re really good”, he exhaled, his mind too occupied by her to speak properly.

“You said that already”, she laughed, “but thanks, do you have any hobbies?”

Peter blushed in embarrassment, “uh, y-yeah, I like, um, science.”

“Impressive”, she said, “I’m terrible at science, I’m like, last in my class.”

“I could help you”, he blurted, a little too eagerly, “I m-mean, if you wanted.”

Oh god, he thought, she’s going to think you’re a weirdo!

“Actually, yeah, that’d be great”, she replied, trying not to laugh at the nervous boy.

“Really?”, he said, his voice failing to hide his excitement, “I mean, um, we could do dinner if you wanted?”

“Where you would teach me science?”, she asked, amused. Peter blushed again, mentally scolding himself for being an idiot.

“U-uh, or just as a date”, he mumbled, figuring he had nothing left to lose. This brought a blush to her face, and she fiddled with the ends of her hair. 

Please say yes, he mentally prayed, not wanting to be rejected even after his hopeless attempt at asking her out.

“Sure”, she smiled, “dinner sounds great.”

He had to take a moment to make sure he’d heard her correctly. Was she really saying yes even after he’d made a complete fool of himself? 

“C-cool”, he stuttered, “um, could I maybe get your number?”

She nodded, taking her phone out of her pocket and handing it to him. He did the same as they put their numbers into each other's phones. She added a music emoji next to her name, handing his phone back with a smile.

“I have to go, but I’m looking forward to that date”, she grinned, shifting herself off the stool and walking off, but not before looking over her shoulder and sending him another sweet smile. He didn't even notice his dumbfounded expression as he waved at her retreating figure. MJ and Ned walked over, each of them holding a glass of lemonade.

“Finally”, MJ huffed, “we’d been waiting for you guys for like, twenty minutes!”

“Wait, you were watching us?”, he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, how else were we meant to make sure you got her number?”, Ned replied, causing Peter to glare at him.

“Well, I guess it was worth it, because I got myself a date.”

[springpinwheel-blog]

Hazelnut Latte ☕

Pairing: Jaehyun x Reader

Genre: Fluff, a little shot of angst oof

Summary: Who knew getting stood up on your first date seemed almost like a brown-haired, caramel eyed beautiful fate?

Word Count: 1712

A/N: This is officially my first NCT scenario on this blog :) I hope you guys still enjoy my writing despite it not being about Seventeen! But I am working on more Seventeen scenarios, please stay tuned! (oof fun fact about me: Jaehyun is my bias /uwued/). As always, credits for all gifs and pictures used go to their rightful owners because I am not talented enough to make any of those into beautiful pieces of art work!

You stared out the cafe’s window, drawing small hearts on the foggy glass in boredom as the rain continued to pour harder outside. Disappointment started to tug on your heart, chilling it from the warmth of anticipation you were holding on the entire day. Just like your cup of unfinished coffee, you started to become cold and your restlessness grew from waiting any longer for your crush, Doyoung; he was about an hour late for your ‘date’ and you were starting to think you were stood up.

 Regret started to churn in your stomach about your embarrassing decision. You had gathered up all of your courage to ask him out for coffee and Doyoung agreed - but seeing as though he didn’t reply to your texts or calls, your unsettling fear started to become true. You were being rejected indirectly and he didn’t even have the guts to show up or even leave you a message to tell you. But being as optimistic as you were, you decided to keep waiting; the rain was pouring even harder than before it was getting harder to see the streets and people were running into nearby buildings or under bus stops to shield themselves.

 Another ten minutes passed and at that point, frustrated tears were threatening to spill from your eyes. You sucked them in and held back the urge to bawl your eyes in public. Letting out a shaky breath, you bit down on your bottom lip, chewing it in embarrassment and hurt. There was nowhere you could go to hide yourself; you just wanted to be alone and in a solitude space to bury yourself in the humiliation you felt. I’m such an idiot. Why did I even think he’d feel the same way?

 “Man, it’s crazy out there!”

 A part of you was taken aback when a stranger suddenly pulled out the chair in front of you and took a seat. The cute boy was completely drenched from head to toe and his nose was faintly glowing crimson from the cold. He breathed deeply into his palms while rubbing his hands and his eyes met yours. A soft smile grew on his face and that was when you recognized who it was. If it weren’t for his gentle features and the warmth in his gaze, you would’ve been terribly freaked out.

 “What’re you sitting here by yourself for?” Jaehyun, Doyoung’s best friend, asked curiously as the smile still radiated on his face. Feeling a sense of sudden comfort and closure from his presence, you could feel your tears starting to burn your eyes as your vision blurred. His eyes widened and he suddenly tensed up as you starting sniffing and crying at the same time. “Y/N, a-are you okay?”

 “N-No...I’m n-not.” You choked out, closing your eyes to just accept the tears trailing down your cheeks and opened them so you could see a little better. A heavy weight of heartbreak rested on your shoulders and chest, making it difficult for you to breathe and focus straight. Your hands started shaking as they were formed into tight fists on your lap.

 Jaehyun didn’t know what to do; he didn’t really talk to you much and both of you weren’t that close either. He didn’t know how to comfort you either. You guys were only classmates and he didn’t want to make things awkward too by hugging you or anything - but seeing you so vulnerable and broken like that pushed his unimportant concerns to the side. Reaching forward, Jaehyun gently cupped your tear-stained face in his hands and wiped away the tears with his thumbs carefully.

 You suddenly held your breath in shock as you looked at him with wide eyes. Jaehyun calmly brushed his thumbs over your cheeks lightly while moving your bangs out of your face and tucking them behind your ears. His expression had saddened and it was as if his eyes reflected some of the pain you felt. He was regretful that he didn’t know a better way to make you feel better.

 Both of your eyes met and Jaehyun suddenly felt flustered, his cheeks becoming warm as you stared at him. He broke his gaze away and awkwardly leaned back into his seat. You had stopped crying and now your heart was racing faster than you could comprehend what just happened. The poundings reached your ears and they were so loud you dismissed the loud thunder that cracked and rumbled from outside.

 “Y-You stopped crying… That’s good,” Jaehyun cleared his throat in awkwardness and averted his eyes out the window at some puddle in the street. “-I don't really know what is best to comfort you… I’m sorry…”

 “You didn’t have to…” Your voice was soft and hoarse as you sniffed, feeling a small amount of embarrassment. “I didn’t mean to just suddenly cry…I should be the one apologizing for putting you in a weird situation.”

 “Do you feel better now?” Jaehyun glanced back at you and he just blushed, trying hard not to think about the cringing action he did.

 “Y-Yes… Thank you.”

 “W-Were you on a date? Y-You’re dressed up…” He tried to change the subject and took in your appearance; it was a shame that you were sitting there in a cute blouse and skirt with your hair curled and tear stains on your face. Jaehyun didn’t want to let it slip, but he honestly thought you were really pretty.

 “My date...stood me up.” You lowered your gaze disappointedly at your cold coffee and let out a soft sigh. “We were supposed to meet here an hour ago.”

 “What the hell? What is wrong with that guy?” Jaehyun suddenly blurted out in disbelief, his voice a little louder than before. “How can he just bail on a kind and sweet girl?”

 “He’s your best friend, Jaehyun.” You started to feel less bitter when he complimented you.

 “Wait...what?” Jaehyun’s eyes widened and he froze; oh shit. He remembered Doyoung saying something about an underclassman asking him out for coffee and both of them feeling sorry for the girl if she had feelings for him. Jaehyun knew that Doyoung has his eyes set on another girl and was in love with her; he had no idea that that underclassman was you. You didn’t have any clue either that Doyoung liked someone else either; he never brought it up when you two were in vocal class and he was always so friendly and sweet towards you that it didn’t occur to you that he had another girl on his mind.

 “He didn’t tell you…” Your voice got softer and Jaehyun started to instantly feel regret.

 “He mentioned it… but he didn’t tell me who it was. But he seriously stood you up? He didn’t even say anything?”

 You shook your head.

 “I’m sorry, Y/N… I don't know what’s up with him, but he’s not the type of person to do this. He would never bail on a girl without telling her. I think something just happened and he left his phone somewhere or it died,” Jaehyun murmured with a slight frown. “-I wasn’t able to contact him a couple minutes ago as well. But… I don't think he’ll show up in this storm.”

 “I believe you, Jaehyun… But… maybe I was just an idiot. I shouldn’t have asked him to meet me here… I should’ve just kept my mouth shut and keep my feelings to myself.”

 “Honestly, I think you should tell him anyways. It’ll help get it off your chest and you’ll feel a lot better. Even if he might reject you, just do it anyways. You’ve got nothing to lose.”

 “I don't know… The idea of being rejected by your crush isn’t exactly pleasant…”

 “Ah, right...What am I saying?” Jaehyun chuckled embarrassingly. “What do I know about crushes? Haha… anyways, trust me. Whatever happens, just know that there is some other handsome and amazing guy out there for you.”

 “Thank you, Jaehyun.” You smiled softly and took a deep breath. “I honestly think I would’ve suffered in humiliation if I was still sitting here alone, trying to bottle in my emotions.”

 “Well, I’m glad I saw you and took a seat,” he grinned happily and reached forward to ruffle the top of your head. “-I can’t believe I’m now getting the chance to talk to you after being in the same class as you for a whole year.”

 “All because I was stood up on my first date,” you joked with a soft giggle.

 “If you think about it,” Jaehyun blushed slightly, hesitant on vocally wording his embarrassing thoughts. “-technically, you didn’t get stood up. I’m here, aren’t I?”

 “You’re considering this as a first date…?” You were surprised at his statement and your own cheeks heated up. “We didn’t even ask one another.”

 “It’s never too late…” He glanced to the side before looking back at you with a sweet, but nervous smile. “Do you want to do on a date with me then?”

 You had to let out a giggle at how awkward, yet adorable the timing was before nodding.

 “My favorite drink here is the hazelnut latte.”

 “I’ll get you another one then,” Jaehyun smiled shyly and got out of his seat. But before he could, you grabbed his hand. He turned to you in confusion and you shook your head. “-huh?”

 “How about we head to your place for you to get changed first?” You motioned your head towards the window. Jaehyun looked outside to see that the rain had stopped. “You’re going to get sick if you stay in those clothes.”

 “What if it rains again?”

 “Then we’ll run for it.”

 Jaehyun started to feel something soft and warm in his chest when you smiled at him happily and sweetly. He just intertwined your fingers and pulled you to your feet as the both of you hurriedly left the cafe to catch a cab. The entire ride there, Jaehyun didn’t let go of your hand. His grip was firm and the way your hand just perfectly fit in his made both of you flustered. Jaehyun couldn’t look at you and you were the same. Both of you just stared out the windows shyly without any words exchanged.

[creideamhgradochas]

Thanks to the lovely @bitsandbobsandstuff for taking the time to answer these! Get to know more about lovely Kris, go give her a follow and then show her some love!

These questions are from this list. You should check it out, there’s 50 questions all together and they’d be great to ask your favorite fic writer!

1) How old were you when you first starting writing fan-fiction?

Looking back, my first attempt at fanfic was probably when I was 11-years-old and I couldn’t wait for the next ‘Babysitters Club’ book to come out, so I wrote my own story. I think it featured Stacey McGill and horses. I really fucking wish I could find it… But honestly, I didn’t really understand the world of fanfiction until I joined Tumblr. So outside of those little forays when I was younger, I’d say it was last year when I realised it was a thing I could do and people might be interested, so let’s say my 30s.

2) Do you prefer writing OC’s or reader inserts? Explain your answer.

When it comes to fanfic, I prefer Reader inserts. They feel more inclusive and frankly, even as a writer it can be easier to imagine myself in the shoes of the reader character (so I can understand their thoughts and feelings and motivations), if I don’t have a specific name attached to them.

5) When is your preferred time to write?

Either first thing in the morning (coffee and morning air are excellent inspiration) or Saturday afternoons.

6) Where do you take your inspiration from?

Constant reading. I’m that nerd at the bus stop or waiting at the movie theatre or walking down the street with my nose in a book. I also try to draw on real life experiences/ situations when I can, it gives stories more texture.

7) In your Safe With Me fic, what’s your favorite scene that you wrote?

I’m going to be cheeky and say it’s a tie – the dance scene in Chapter 8 and the trigger scene in Chapter 15. The realisations they both had within the few minutes of their dance together felt like such a great payoff for everything up until that point, and I loved imagining Bucky in that black suit (and I just love that song ‘Run to you’). The trigger scene was so much fun just to  resurface and/ or create all Bucky’s memories, especially the ones with the Soldier…they were like mini-stories of their own.

8) Have you ever amended a story due to criticisms you’ve received after posting it?

Nope. Everyone has a different vision and every story is unique for a reason.

9) Who is your favorite character to write for? Why?

Clearly, I’m such a sucker for Bucky Barnes. 😊 His character has been through so many things over his lifetime, you can take him in a hundred directions and they can still feel true to source material (both MCU and comics). He can be a battle-weary soldier or a sassy little shit, and it all links back to some iteration of his personality at some point in his life – whether pre-WW2, Winter Soldier days, or now. I’d like to branch out and try others (or maybe other fandoms) at some point, but I’m content with him for now.

11) How did you come up with the title for the Safe With Me?

I knew I wanted the title to be a line of dialogue, because I like the symmetry of finding titles inserted in a story, and I knew I wanted it to be something ‘safety’ related, since that was the theme of the story. In Chapter 3, Bucky gives the reader a little speech at the end, telling her he’ll do anything he needs to protect her, and after re-working that a little, I came up with the ‘you’re safe with me’ line, and that became the title!

12) How did you come up with the idea for Safe With Me?

I wanted to try a series for a long time, but was always  so intimidated by the idea - I’m blown away by the writers on here who do so many series, the time it takes is nuts. For SWM, there were certain themes I personally wanted to find in a story - what it means to be safe, how sometimes evil people can live right next to you, the importance of mental health...all those concepts were used as foundations to the story and the colour was created around them. Sometimes things went in the direction I wanted, sometimes they took unexpected left turns as I was writing - I think you really have to be okay being led by your gut sometimes. Things like lemon drug or Tony’s tech or changing the purpose of the trigger words were random ideas that fell into place. My brain is a weird place to be sometimes.

14) Are there any stories that you’ve written that you’d really love to do a sequel to?

I’ve thought about doing something else with ‘Bless me father’ (still the strangest, weirdest, dirtiest story I’ve written) maybe a prequel or sequel, but still mulling over ideas.

16) Tell me about another writer(s) who you admire? What is it about them that you admire?

There are so many on Tumblr I love, but three in particular I would point out.

@a-splash-of-stucky: Elsa is a literal poet. The way she writes, the images she conjures and phrases she uses, are beyond gorgeous.

@justreadingfics: Ally can set up a scene like you wouldn’t believe. I am also in continual awe of someone who can write so beautifully when it’s not their first language.

@4luvofall: Cristina nails the dialogue every single time. Her characters are always a little sassy and a little funny, and I want to go drinking with them (and her). Outside of Tumblr, my favourite book is A Tree Grows in Brooklyn and I would be happy to read Harry Potter every day for the rest of my life.

17) Do you have a story that you look back on and cringe when you reread it?

No stories, although sometimes I’ll read old dialogue or descriptions and roll my eyes a little! I think it’s important to read your old stuff and recognise how far you’ve come or how your style has changed.

18) Do you prefer listening to music when you’re writing or do you need silence?

I have a writing playlist that is mostly Sigur Ros and Sleeping at Last, with a heavy dose of movie soundtracks like Lord of the Rings. But sometimes, I put headphones in and just listen to silence.

19) Have you ever cried whilst writing a story?

I’ve gotten a little emotional at points, but never full on cried. I have sobbed like a baby while reading though, good lord.

20) Which part of your Safe With Me fic was the hardest to write?

I think the club scene in Chapter 12 was the hardest. The idea was to use the scenery and secondary characters and music to build the tension through the course of the night, until everything collapsed. Finding the right flow and making sure it didn’t feel too rushed was really hard, it took me a long time to work through.

21) Do you make a general outline for your stories or do you just go with the flow?

I tend to make an outline. For one-shots, it’s never long – just listing out the key points and scenes I want to hit. For SWM it was long – the outline was more than 15,000 words. Admittedly, I’m somewhat Type A, so I need structure to function. 😊

23) Do you have a story that you feel doesn’t get as much love as you’d like?

Probably my first Stucky story, ‘The language of a kiss’. I was hesitant to post it – it wasn’t long after I read ‘Not easily conquered’ which was one of the most mind-blowing literary experiences of my life. I love the story and have gotten lovely comments on it, but I think AO3 tends to be a better place for Stucky stories, Tumblr leans more toward Reader insert.

25) Are any of your characters based on real people?

Yes! The reader for ‘Safe with me’ was based heavily on yours truly! Most of her dialogue came very easy because it’s how I speak in real life (full of F-bombs and insults that rarely make sense). Some of Bucky’s dialogue and sass was based on my husband, the way those two bickered in the story was pretty close to real life.

26) What’s the biggest compliment you’ve gotten?

Some of the compliments I’ve received for ‘Safe with me’ have been genuinely unbelievable. Several people have said the story inspired them to write again, which I’m so excited to hear. The biggest compliment though, was probably someone telling me the story helped ease them through a depressive episode in their life. That hit particularly close to home and I can’t express how happy I was to hear that.

29) Do people know you write fan-fiction?

My husband and a few close friends. The first time I told my best friend, who is not remotely into fandom, I gave her ‘Safe with me’ at chapter 12 and she read the entire thing overnight and by 8a the next morning I was getting texts saying “are you awake and if so are you writing because you can’t do this to me.” Hearing someone with no interest in Marvel say that was pretty fun.

30) What’s you favorite minor character you’ve written?

Definitely Riz in ‘Safe with me’. I picture him hanging out in his little kiosk in downtown Manhattan, playing Candy Crush and watching the world go by. He has to have some great stories.

31) What spurs you on during the writing process?

Deadlines! I work so much better under pressure. If I ever had to write a thesis, I would wait until two days before it’s due.

33) Can you remember the first fic you read? What was it about?

I think it was the ‘Worth Fighting For’ series by @serzhantkris. The plot was based on Mulan, and followed the reader who took her brother’s place in the army during WW2 - she went though basic and got deployed and captured as part of the 107th. She was a feisty and amazing character, and I’m always a sucker for 1940s Bucky. The story is broken out across the three Captain America movies and it is seriously breathtaking – sweet, cheeky, full of action, and completely heartbreaking.

34) If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

I think I’m going with angst. I like being able to dig into something and maybe cause a little pain in the process. 😉

[wonhos-monbaby]

K-drama watched list

Because I lost my note on my old phone so here's a list of all the Kdramas I've watched... I’ve added some comments and opinions on some of them

Boys over flower

This was the first drama recommended to me and the first one I ever watched. It’s a great introduction to K-dramas. Rich guy-Poor girl is a common trope and this one is really entertaining, great first drama to watch because you’re diving straight into it. 

Healer

Now let me tell you! Ji Changwook is RIGHT at the top of my favorite actors and this is the first drama I ever saw with him in a lead role. And let me tell you, after this, nothing will convince me faster than Ji Changwook as the lead in an action drama. Number one on my must watch recommendations. If you haven’t seen it yet, this should be next on your watch list!!!

Dream 

Ooooh I watched this one for the lead and only the lead.... Kim Bum is adorable and though I don’t remember much of this one I enjoyed it. Here’s a fan made MV ‘cause I literally don’t remember anything except it’s about boxing? 

Personal taste

Lee Minho pretending to be gay so he can rent a room in a girl’s home... I’m letting you imagine everything that could go wrong... Fun and lighthearted it’s a fun drama.

You're beautiful

Playful kiss

Ooooh I have some issues with this one but it’s cute and fun and maybe I wanted to bitch slap both leads at some moments, and cringed at some moments (second hand embarrassment was present a few times there). Like I said though it’s cute and fun and gets your mind off of things. 

Dream high

Dreal high 2

Heartstrings

Flowerboy ramyun shop

Flowerboy next door

Shut up flowerboy band

Okay so I got a little mad at the choices for the beginning in this one because holy shit the end of episode 2 ???? I was not okay with that ...  Still a fun drama, I remember enjoying it though it doesn’t stick with me much... I remember the music being pretty good too.... 

To the beautiful you

School 2013

School 2017

Pinocchio

I may or may not have crushed hard on Lee Jongsuk and this drama convinced me to watch a lot of the drama he’s stared in. But this one was fun and like at the top of my recommendations... The chemistry between Lee Jongsuk and ParK Shinhye is a little meh but if you don’t pay too much attention to that the rest is worth it!!

I hear your voice

The good doctor

Doctor stranger

Lee Jongsuk is the son of a doctor who got sent to North Korea for a secret operation that stops him from going back to South Korea. His lead is a genius and becomes a surgeon like his father... He defects and manages to get back to South Korea... Man that one had me confused on whether or not I liked it but to say it’s not entertaining would be wrong... 

The heirs

Empress Ki

Ji Changwook as the lead for 51 episodes in a historical drama? I didn’t need more than that to convince me to watch this one.

My love from another star

Oooh this one is a popular one and for a good reason ! This love story is beautiful and the chemistry man the chemistry is amazing 100% recommend if you’re looking for something that makes you soft and warms you up inside.

Marriage not dating

Blood

The only thing I remember of this one is that it’s about vampires and a vampire doc....

Jekyll and Hyde

Kill me Heal me

Disclaimer on this on: depicts dissociative identity disorder or D.I.D, I can’t say if it was depicted correctly or not. But the lead male actor did an amazing job at making sure we differentiated the 7 alters of his character. I enjoyed this one a whole lot and the OST is pretty good. 

I remember you ( Hello Monster)

If you like thrillers this one is for you. Plays a little with your mind and tries to put you off the tracs ... 

Noble my love

Moorim school

Descendants of the sun

If you haven’t watched this one put it at the top of your list! Because this was THE drama of 2016! The story line, the plot, the acting, the OST everything was amazing in this one !! 

Comeback Mister

Moonlight drawn by clouds

Lucky romance

Uncontrollably fond

Doctors (Doctor crush)

Oooh I didn’t like this one much, I kind of had to force myself to watch it, more because I was bored and it was somewhat entertaining... but the Teacher-student type romance isn’t for me.... 

W: two worlds

Lets fight ghost

Beautiful Gong Shim

Scarlet Heart Ryeo

Boy Oh Boy. Where to begin with this one?  okay 

1. Put this right next to Healer on the must watch list if you haven’t yet!! It is beautiful

2. The Cast : IU, Lee Jonggi, Byun Baekhyun (EXO), Nam Joohyuk, Ji Soo, Kang Hana, Z.Hara, Kang Haneul, just to name a few

3. It’s a historical drama base in the Goryeo era 

4. Prepare the tissues because this will set you up for 20 episodes of laughter followed closely by heartbreak, picking the pieces up and trying to piece them together only for those pieces to be broken and stepped on and broken again... I’ve never cried so much 

5. Beautiful scenes, chemistry, scenery! 

Thumping Spike

Cheese in the trap

Hwarang

Jealousy incarnate

Bong Soon cyborg in love

Legend of the blue sea

Lee Minho and Jeon Jihyeon (My love from another star) take you on a journey of people finding each other over and over again and history repeating itself? Beatiful drama, amazing chemistry! On top of my recommendations as well

Cinderella and four knights

K2

Ji Changwook as the lead in an action drama was all I needed to convince me to watch this one

Weightlifting fairy Kim Bok Joo

Goblin

If Descendants of the sun was the drama for 2016 this one follows closely, starting to air end of December 2016 and finished in January 2017 This is the drama for 2017. Again, from the OST to the story line to the little details everything about this one was perfect! Absolutely loved it

Solomon's Perjury

Oh ! This one is the one I recommend if you’re looking for something a little more serious. This one follows a student lead trial in high school after a student is found dead at the foot of one of the buildings. This one stuck with me! 

Strong Woman Do Bong Soon

Chief Kim

Introverted boss

Queen of Ring

Radio romance

Suspicious partner

My secret romance

Oh so you know how we never get any action before the end of like episode 8 or something and it’s usually one of the hella awkward kisses. Hohoho this one focuses on a one night stand and boy of boy we get a full on make out session (in kdrama equivalent) in episode 1! 

Fun and cute rom com-ish this one is a really fun one!

The Last Empress

Ah this is more recent as well, it’s set in today’s time if South Korea were a Constitutional Monarchy. Follow it’s last Empress in a palace where manipulation and corruption reigns and secrets are deeply burried. 

Terrius behind me

Come and hug me

Remember those tissues you got for Scarlet Heart Ryeo? Yeah stock up this one’s going to make you weep from start to finish. The acting is beautiful and heart wrentching 

Tempted

A modern twist on the story Les Liaison dangereuse ( Dangerous Liaisions) this one left me half satisfied half disapointed at the end... It wan’t what I was expecting and hoping for... But I wasn’t the mindset for this type of ending.

Hwayugi: A Korean Odessy

Longing heart

Cheer up

Orange Marmelade

My love Eun Dong

I'm not a robot

Page turner

High society

Emergency couple

Highschool love on

Fight for my way

Master's sun

Another miss Oh

Madame Antoine

Wednesday 3:30pm

The greatest marriage

Ma boy

Somehow 18

Save Me 

Oooh this one probably needs a trigger warning... It deals with cult-religions, manipulation and how hard it is to get out once you’re in and everyone around you is endoctrinated... serious, dark and mindblowing, this one might leave you a little uncomfortable at the end but if you’re up for it it’s really really really good.

Apparently there’s a second season? 

Hotel del Luna 

Break my heart some one IU will you? I am completely in love with the tone of nostalgia and melancholy there always seems to be in the dramas I’ve seen her in... It’s not ne of my favorite dramas but it is a rather enjoyable one

Moments of 18 

Lawless Lawyer

When the devil calls your name