#so i think that would take a lot of her energy she'd be frustrated about it yes but also sort of...admit defeat

[potassiumprincess]

i think marinette is worse at resting when she's sick but adrien is worse at sitting things out if he's injured. i have no explanation, these are just the vibes

[girlgenius1111]

did you think i wouldn't come?

viv x lioness reader post olympic qualification. angst + fluff

-----

Viv head towards baggage claim, not really sure what she would find waiting for her there. She'd offered to uber, but you'd insisted that you pick her up.

She hadn't had a chance to talk to you on the phone yet, and she wasn't sure she really believed that you weren't mad at her. Your texts seemed normal, but she couldn't get rid of the nagging feeling deep in her gut that you were mad.

Even though you promised her before you left that you wouldn't be, and she did the same. She knows that she wouldn't have been mad at you, had the tables been turned. Frustrated with the results, sure, but not mad at you.

She would understand, though, if you were upset. You hated losing. Kind of expected from a professional athlete, but Viv knew how hard the team, how hard you, had been working, and not making it to the olympics would be crushing for you.

So, she'd texted before her flight, offering to get a ride from the airport, and even stay at Katie's for a few days, if you needed space. You'd shaken off her offer, telling her not to be silly. Despite this, as she neared baggage claim, as she neared you, she couldn't help the growing anxiety inside her.

She'd barely gotten a glimpse of you before you were tackling her in a hug. She caught you in her arms easily, although quite surprised.

"Vivianne," you sung in her ear, voice sweet and upbeat. "Congratulations," you told her. You felt her stiffen at her words, and pulled back from the hug. "What's wrong?"

Viv couldn't find a hint of anger, frustration, any negative emotion on your face. You only looked at her with love, and a little bit of concern. Snapping out of her surprise, she responded.

"Nothing! How are you?" she questioned, changing the subject.

"I"m good, I missed you," you said, pulling her back in for another hug. She held you tightly. This was better than she expected, so much better. She'd missed you too, a lot, but she hadn't allowed herself to hope to see you much in the first few days back.

"How is your knee?" you ask, after pulling back from the hug once again.

"It's okay. A little sore, but definitely better," Viv tells you, trying to match your unbothered energy, even though she's completely confused, completely stunned at your lack of anger with her. You nod, taking her bag from her and ushering her out to the car. You continue to ask her questions, talking easily with her as you begin the drive home.

Vivianne is hesitant, waiting for the other shoe to drop. You notice her nervous demeanor, but you know Viv well. Pushing her to talk to you when she's upset about something never works, she had to come to you. So, you let the small talk fade out, as your girlfriend's mind is clearly elsewhere.

The Dutch woman doesn't even notice when you pull into the driveway, completely lost in her thoughts. You nudge her, sending a soft smile her way. She finds herself inside, sitting on the couch, her bags left without a thought at the door. Her nerves and her guilt had only increased since arriving back home, and she was completely unresponsive to you when you join her.

She knows you're waiting for her to talk, watching her face carefully for any sign as to what's going on. Viv doesn't really know where to start, though, and it seems you'll have to prompt her if you want her to talk sometime in the next 2 hours.

"Vivianne, is everything okay?" you ask finally, well aware that something is not okay.

"I don't understand," the Dutch woman responds quietly, staring hard at the couch.

"Don't understand what, my love?" You hoped this would get you to the bottom of whatever had clearly been bothering her since arriving home.

"Why aren't you mad at me?" She asked. Your brow furrowed.

"Why would I be?"

"We knocked you guys out. You aren't going to the olympics, and we are."

"Why would I be mad at you about that?" Viv didn't really seem to have a response to that. Sensing her inability to explain, you continued. "You guys worked really hard. You played a good game, and you scored the right amount of goals to beat us out. Obviously, it sucks, but really, Viv, why would I be mad at you about that?"

Viv elects to ignore your last question, opting instead to focus on the first part. "You all worked hard, too. You deserved it just as much as we did."

"Yeah, that's true. It didn't work out for us though." You respond. Viv looks at you incredulously, unsure how you could be so cavalier about something so important.

"I'm disappointed, yeah. And I was upset, at first, because it was so close, we were so close. But I was never upset with you. The Dutch team as a whole? Sure." Not even a flicker of a smile at your attempt at a joke.

"You're really not mad at me?" she asks, staring hard at you, as if searching for any hint that you were lying.

"No, I'm really not. I'll never be mad at you for succeeding, even if it means that I didn't get to," You tell her, hell bent on convincing her. She still looked so unsure, and you brought your hands up to cup her cheeks gently.

"Vivianne, I'm not mad at you, stop looking so serious. Everything is fine, you don't need to worry. I still love you, even though you beat me," you're half joking again, but you don't miss the way relief flickers across your girlfriend's face. It's like a stab to the chest, realizing she was worried that you wouldn't love her anymore because of this.

"Baby, football is football. It's our job, and it's important to me, but it's not more important than you. Nothing is. Our relationship is completely separate from what happens on the pitch, and I would never let how your team performs change how I feel about you. You'd have to do a lot more than knock me out of the Olympics to get me to stop loving you," you tell her, putting as much conviction as you can behind your words.

Vivianne has the decency to look somewhat embarrassed, especially when you put it like that. She can't help but believe you, honestly, not when you're looking at her the same way you always have.

"Okay?" you ask, when she still hasn't said anything.

"Okay," she says softly, leaning over to rest against you. You kiss the top of her head, wrapping her up in your arms. "I love you too, by the way,' she tells you, feeling your chest vibrate under her with a laugh.

"Good," you tell her, satisfied that she believes you now. "What do you want for dinner? I was thinking italian."

"Eh. I kind of wanted chinese," she tells you, relaxing into your body at the change in conversation.

"Well, you get to go to the olympics, so I think I should get to pick dinner," you say, smirking down at her.

"Y/n!" she complains, not finding your joke funny at all. Alright, it was a little funny. But only because it was you. Anyone else making that joke would have just annoyed her. You didn't seem to be able to do that, though, no matter what you did. Apparently, you felt the same way.

-----

[release-the-hound]

as a havanese owner, what would you say their energy levels are like? trainability? grooming needs? looking into getting small dogs in the future and havanese are on the list of possibilities

I think part of the reason Havanese are so wonderful for so many people is that their energy levels are extremely variable. A well bred Havanese should match its energy levels to its owners for the most part. There are days where I have only taken Whim outside to potty, and spent the rest of my time sick in bed, and she has happily cuddled up next to me and slept by my side. But she has also happily galloped alongside me for a 5km run, and been eager for more. Ultimately what Havanese want more than a specific amount of activity, is to be doing activity with their person.

Of course, I always celebrate doing more with your dog. I try to give Whim at least a 20 minute walk daily. Along with minimum 5 minutes dedicated training session and a food puzzle for enrichment. Often I am able to do more than that.

(One if my favorite off-leash adventures with Whim. A 3 hour walk through unusually deep snow. So many sniffs and lots of excellent recalls!)

When my sister died, I was frequently doing less, for weeks. And she didn't devolve into a frustrated barking mess, didn't chew up my apartment, she was a little bored, but she was never miserable. She just lay in my bed, by my side, day after day, until I was ready to face the world again.

(I cannot overstate how good Whim is at cuddling. If there was an international competition for it, she'd win it every year.)

I really think for disabled people, Havanese have the ideal energy level. You can meet their base needs fairly easily, but if you are up for adventure they're always ready to come along for a ride.

(Whim travels frequently on airplanes with me, and is always complimented on her good behavior.)

Grooming needs are the sticking point for many people, unfortunately. While Havanese are genrtically capable of producing a short coat, it's against the breed standard, and so I don't know of anyone intentionally breeding for that.

For me, a non-shedding dog is worth extra grooming, but I know that's not the case for a lot of people. I have Whim shaved about every 4 to 6 months. This means that I go over her coat to comb out any mats about once a week, and I trim the fur out of her eyes on occassion. But other than that, I dont worry about grooming. I bathe her when she's stinky and trim her nails when they get long, which you need to do with every dog. I know @girlhorse keeps Enzo in a much fuller coat. If you want to keep a fuller coat, she might be willing to talk about the grooming experience.

It's also worth noting that due to their small size, combing Whim's fur is like, a 20 minute process.

(I often miss Whim's coat from when I kept her long. She was so unbelievably adorable.)

Havanese are my FAVOURITE dogs to train bar none. I'm not a professional trainer in any sense of the word, but between group classes and my job I have seen how a lot of dogs learn. @thelittlespanielthatcould and I often compare Havs to a CKCS with a little more spunk. They are very clever and very eager to work with you, but when they have an opinion they make it clear.

Whim can be entirely focused on me for an hour long lesson. But she won't do work she's not fairly compensated for. Personally, I like a dog that won't let me push them around. If it's a hot day and I haven't given Whim enough water breaks, she'll march herself over to her bowl whenever she damn well pleases. If I'm not using a high enough value treat, she will take it from my hand and spit it on the ground. I like these things because I like dogs that set their own boundaries. I want my dog to tell me when she is tired or thirsty, when I'm not rewarding enough, when she's frightened. Because I get clear feedback from her on what I'm doing wrong, I can alter my methods very quickly to keep us in sync. I like that my dog can tell me something so clearly and I can say back to her "ok, I'm listening."

Whim does very well in Rally when I can afford the classes. She loved agility. Havanese also make great trick dogs. They have amazing handler focus (once they mature). They love spending time with you, so they love training. You just have to be fair to them. I guess I'd describe them as eager to engage, but not eager to please. She wants to spend time with me, she wants to play my games, but she isn't afraid to stand her ground if she's not having fun. Training her brings me so much fucking joy. Even writing about it now has put a smile on my face.

(Whim and I had so much fun in agility. She loved the tunnels so much she used to go off course just to run them a second or third time. Until I started bringing out the big guns (cheese) and suddenly she was an angel again lol.)

Realistically, no breed is ever going to be ideal for every person on the planet. But 2 words come to mind when I think of Havanese. Fexible: they thrive in many different living situations, energy levels, and activities. And Communicative, about their needs, their desires, their fears, their pain. They make it easy for dog owners to figure out what to do. For these reasons, I think Havanese match well with a lot more people than the average dog breed.

Whim has been my best friend for more than a decade. I have never second-guessed my decision to bring her into my life. I wake up every day knowing that I am profoundly loved. In my brightest moments I picture a future of adventure unfurling before us. In my darkest, her joy reminds me how to find my own.

TL,DR: Get a Havanese.

[marchiekana]

Human heater anon here, I'll just call myself Anon H,I know you're not back from your camping which I really hope you're enjoying, camping is amazing if done right. Kinda makes me wanna do it. Anyways ! I'll leave this idea here, take it or leave it ! I just need to get this out to someone.

Ahem, I had the sudden thought of a reader who's just the most chill, laid back and nonchalant person. Someone is being annoying ? Reader doesn't care and and just keeps going. Alone ? Just Vibing. Someone disagrees with them intensely ? It's cool mate. Though it sometimes attracts people to diminish the reader because they know the reader won't care so they lash out their pent up frustration. They also annoy the characters (I'll mention them after), as in they're just TOO laid back it can be a pain. I think Silver Wolf, Serval and Kafka could be neat for that. Thanks for reading my little rant.

I'm back ehehe

But anyways this prompt made me kick my legs and giggle 🤭

Also there might be some grammer or spelling mistakes cause I typed this in like half an hour

I feel like kafka would share a similar energy too but hers is more... calculated? She'd definitely try to mess with you and make bets with the other members to see who makes you angry first(which she miserably failed at ).

Oh but she loves how you are sometimes( she loves u all the time). Your laid back attitude when someone is angry with you and seeing your nonchalant answers anger the person in front of you is free entertainment for her and the best thing is the snarky comments you give each other when you're having an argument. She'd purposefully try making you angry (which she'd, again, fail to do so)

But! Sometimes, just sometimes, she doesn't really like how you don't take things very serious. Especially when you've come back hurt from a mission or fighting with someone. or if you just fell down on the stairs. She hates how you don't take your injuries seriously and that annoys her a lot. Would subtly scold you in a soft tone but even after you shrug it off and tell her that you're fine or remark on how funny it was that this happened to you, she would raise her voice and tell you how she feels about what you're doing. But no worries after a little fight she'd apologize and tell you to take care of yourself and makes sure you do so.

But if someone really tried to hurt you both physically or with their words, that person better pray for themselves.

Now for Silver Wolf, she'd.....do nothing. She doesn't care much honestly. She likes how calm and friendly you are. Loves how you don't disturb her during her gaming sessions and will be ready to teach you any game you want. And the thing is, you're the only one who doesn't make her angry while she's teaching you cause you're pretty fast learner. Unlike a certain few.

And the way you fight is quite amusing too her. You're both very similar in that. A smug, expression and taunting words. Would definitely enjoy seeing you fight while she's on the sidelines.

Serval is an absolute tease about it. No intentions of making you angry, she just thinks it's cute.

But if, by any chance you get hurt while fighting or you happened to break one of her precious games, you better get ready cause you're in for a little ride around tantrum town. She doesn't like that you just say that you'll buy her a new one or tell her that she's overreacting with that stupid smug smile of yours. Its like You're not really sorry when you really are. Your expressions just don't match Your feeling and that causes a misunderstanding and then you're gonna get silent treatment for about three days and few death glares here and there. And maybe a few petty fights....but that's ok cause she'll forgive you in the end and tell you to atleast care about her feelings.

She absolutely loves your nonchalant smile/smug! You just look so good! She likes how cool headed you are and how well you handle situations, it could be an angry customer at her shop or anyone to say the least. Its not like she can't handle the customer herself, she wants to watch you do it, with that pretty little smug on your.

But just imagine, one day you broke her favourite trinkets given to her by her brother and she was already having a bad and then sees the condition of the trinket and an awkward smile on your face as you apologize to her. On that day, you saw a Serval that was a whole different person. She scolded you, you got angry and again, with that smug, taunting smile of yours, say something to piss her off more and she leaves. You better go ask her sorry after this and buy her some flower.

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Idk buf Kafka seems a bit too ooc in the end, honestly all of them do but oh well. thanks for listening to my rant too lol 😆

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© marchiekana do not repost, copy, translate or plagiarize my work!

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[mrs-monaghan]

Another entry. Firstly, Still With Me? Did JK release a new song that I didn’t know about? Secondly, I would rather speculate that a song is about someone then a hand gesture that a lot of people do.

I saw them coming at us for paying attention to numbers and 11/08 even though that's way more real than whatever tf this is. Like... aren't they embarrassed????

Anyway guys, I have an announcement to make.

Attention please!

Thank u ☺☺

Okay so I've been getting alot of frustrated asks mad at tkkrs and antis on twitter, right? Unfortunately I tend not to post them because I don't wanna bring too much negativity on this blog. Especially when some of those things are vile AF. Anyway, the point of this post is, My friends and I are in a Jikook discord and a few of us do this thing on twitter where we fight antis and shit especially when they come to Jikook spaces.

As we know recently a big Jikook account with 15k followers was attacked the other day for liking a post from an anti. But she had no idea that person was one. She just liked the post coz it was Jikook related. It's an easy mistake to make, really. She tried apologising and explaining she'd blocked the anti but these assholes didn't listen. They went though her profile and started commenting under all her regular, normal tweets that she was an anti and should be ashamed of herself or whatever. They were determined to give her no peace whatsoever.

When called out themselves, one account shamelessly said that they were antis and proud. That they didn't pretend that they don't hate Jimin. This really made me mad. It's not the first time they've been quite proud of the Jimin hate they partake in. Tkk accounts will gets thousand of likes on a post hating on Jimin and this ain't right. An anon sent in an ask venting about us being cowards and I agree. They attack Jikookers and these jkkrs end up deleting their Jikook posts. THIS SHIT AIN'T RIGHT!!! Its not.

They do this thing where they move in balk. My friends and I tried to back this account up. Encouraged her not to let them get to her. But it dont matter that 5 people are on your side if 30 people are telling you to kill yourself its just... /sigh/

This account is still running. But they had to unfollow everyone they follow and start from scratch. This ain't right guys. Its just not fair no matter how u look at it. I think we need to start giving tkkrs the same energy they give us.

Simply ignoring them is NOT working. We don't go to them, they come to us. I think its time Jikookers fought fire with fire. Which is why I'm making this post. A few of us had the idea to create a Jikook fighting discord.

If you are reading this and are tired of taking shit lying down. If you have wanted to fight these people but you were worried that you are just one person and won't make a difference. If you see the Jimin hate and wish there was something you could do about it, I come with an offer. Fuck tkkrs. Fuck antis. Fuck solos and fuck ot7 accounts that call out the vermin but then delete their tweets when they start to loose followers. Fuck all these people. Lets do something about this, ourselves.

Tkkrs are the ones causing chain reactions. If they didn't attack Jimin, Jimin solos wouldn't attack V and JK. (Yesterday I saw an art of JK with a dirty diaper and I just...🤮) If they shipped in peace and didn't attack Jimin literally all this shit wouldn't be happening.

I say we give them a taste of their own medicine. So if you see this post and you agree that enough is enough, then come join us here.

If you can't join then spread the word. Time to defend Kookmin and Koominers. Fuck this shit. The vermin have ran rampant for long enough. Photoshopping Jimin getting blown by band pd wasn't enough. Now they're editing him into porn. Guys, they've go10 too comfortable. Let's do something!

1) Create a separate twitter account before you join us. Safer not to use your main

2) ONLY Jikookers allowed in this discord. If you are not one of us we will know.

See you soon. I hope some of you consider. This shit has to stop. Kookminers assemble!!

Bless 💜

[twstfanblog]

I love your writing so much! Your Yuu OC is so cool and I am so obsessed with their energy <3

Writing request time~! Can I get some headcannons of Yuu visiting all of the twst clubs for the first time?

HI FRIEND! Sorry this took me so long to do! But ok, so I actually have this planned out as a chapter in my main story fic. So this is a perfect way to get it all written out for myself!

BUT ONTO THE ASK! MY YUU'S FIRST IMPRESSION OF THE NRC CLUBS!

BASKETBALL CLUB

Hi Jamil~ Flirty to the max, making him miss the shot he was trying to do

Isn't into sports in the slightest, but wanted to see what was offered at the school

Is honestly, too physical to play basketball, she'd be elbowing people in the ribs and Floyd would be supporting her

So for the safety of the other teams, Yuu was not allowed to join

Promises to come to the games to cheer for Jamil and Floyd (And Ace, but fuck him)

TRACK CLUB

Not a chance in hell. Boobs too big to be running around

Made fun of Deuce for thinking the school would have what is basically a motorcycle club

Did tell him it was a good choice of club since he wanted to be a cop in his future

Left the second Vargas showed up

BOARD GAMES CLUB

"Oh cool, Ortho's brother" "I have a name." "I don't care."

Liked the idea of the club, but couldn't see themselves actually joining. Enjoyed making Idia think they were gonna join

First meeting with Azul takes place here

Told them about the concept of 'The Game' and let that seed of chaos be planted into Idia's head to use against Azul at the most random of times (Sorry I made you lose UnU;)

EQUESTRIAN CLUB

"How much money does this school have?????"

Another they had no intention of joining but was really interested in watching

Later on, they help out with basic horse care if free time permits

Yuu: Wow this school really has whole-ass horses on campus? Silver: Silver: As opposed to??? Half-ass horses??? Yuu:

Yuu states only one 'Funny Bitch' can be in a club at a time and Silver clearly holds onto his title well

LIGHT MUSIC CLUB

HI KALIM!

If Yuu had a will for public performing this would be their club! sadly they don't so they didn't join officially.

Yuu still has their music library so they share their world's music with them a lot later on.

Not a member, but will pop in from time to time to do a jam session with them

Lilia gets her a shirt that says 'LMC #1 FAN' on the back as a gift

SPELL DRIVE CLUB

Another sport club that was interesting, but not something they'd do

Only goes to the games if dragged there by the other firsties but is an aggressive fan for Epel

Kepting asking Leona dumb questions because he was trying to sleep DURING TRYOUTS

Yuu likes the concept of Spell Drive, just doesn't have the care to really play or watch it

Has told Epel he should hit someone with his broom though

SCIENCE CLUB

Trey says 'No' with a smile

He's not TRYING to kill Yuu's budding passion for magical sciences, he's TRYING to protect the masses from the bioweapon they're probably gonna make on accident

Rook is so excited, he wants Yuu to join the club so badly

Trey knows Yuu will either make something that will actually kill someone or would drink something they're not supposed to on accident and die.

Yuu was not allowed to join the science club UnU

MOUNTAIN LOVERS CLUB

Honestly, feels so bad for Jade. Dude's clearly got a passion for his hobby and wants to share it with others

But also "Jade are you actually confused why no one wants to join your club and be alone with you in the fucking woods?????"

Not too excited for all the hiking the club seems to be (Interest is peaked at the opportunity to pet a bear though)

Promised Jade if they didn't find a club to join by the end of the day, they'd circle back and join his club

"I'm friends with your brother, you can't make me disappear that easily" "We'll see~"

FILM RESEARCH CLUB

What are you researching????

Honestly, the whole time just asked Vil questions in an attempt to frustrate him and point out how the club was a THEATER CLUB more than a Film Research club

Ends up joining because they ARE a theater club kid and is more than willing to take on the backstage work, that's their favorite part

Does end up being known as having infamously bad movie tastes and ended up traumatizing the whole club via trying to prove a point to Vil by sharing a movie from their world

OFFICIAL MEMBER OF THE FILM RESEARCH CLUB~!

GARGOYLE RESEARCH SOCIETY

Didn't know Malleus even had a club until he told her that night

Malleus didn't know the club fair was that day

Yuu shared their pint of depression ice cream with him while he pouted

Compromised in simply joining him on his walks or letting him info dump about a new gargoyle he found or his favored styles

Yuu will walk around abandoned areas themselves sometimes and take pictures to show Malleus to ask if he knows the gargoyle or not

[blackquillchillin]

Okay for Simon romancing people in Stardew Valley, we gotta evaluate the potential relationship with each of the characters, so, starting with the Bachelors!!

Alex: gives young person vibes, similar to how Sam does, but more then that i just don't think he's Simon's type. Cocky Jock with Gridball on the brain, eh. I don't know they'd have anything to talk about, really.

Elliott: Aesthetically quite nice, though I don't know if I picture Simon as being very appearance focused in partnerships. Very Artsy. Could work, though I think Simon would be pretty neutral towards him initially.

Harvey: Huge Bonus is that he does not appear as young as some of the other Bachelors. I'm also biased, as He and Sam are the only two I've gotten to marriage to personally. (and quite liked both of them) That said...I don't think he has enough Confidence for Simon. He's dedicated to being a doctor, sure, but he's also nervous, with huge amounts of anxiety at times. He talks constantly about the health and safety of the town, but when other topics do come up, particularly in dating, he's easily flustered. As cute as i find him (and his mustache) I don't think Simon would be interested.

Sam: Reads as too young. everything's still about skateboards and music. Not too young for romance, mind, I romanced him, but too young for Simon. does have golden retriever energy though, which is nice, and really loves his younger brother, also a plus. and he does grow a little once married, But I think it would feel weird. Better match for someone Athena or Apollo's age.

Sebastian: Now here's where we get into the fun stuff!! I think Sebastian would NOT like Simon, who in turn would be....very neutral towards the young man, and completely unaware of the one sided rivalry brewing. See, a lot of the problems Sebastian faces are concerns about not being able to establish himself. He's living in his Mom's basement, with his Step Father he dosn't get along well with, and half-sister who he sees as being favored over him. He also feels no one takes his job seriously, (example, in his two heart event we learn Abigail plans to come visit regardless of him working) but one thing he IS is the town's resident Goth, even more so then Abby. So, imagine, just imagine, how frustrating it would be for him when Simon rolls up, Grumpy and Standoffish, Shock of black hair, dressed all in black, hawk perched on his shoulder, already having his own space with a job everyone recognizes and not having to answer to anyone. If we wanted to count who's edgier, Simon's even been to prison. Heck, in this world he might even have prison tats, anything could happen. And Simon? not the least bit concerned about this, or even aware.

Shane: On the one hand, no one should romance Shane. Shane needs a friend, absolutely, but he also needs therapy, and is not ready to commit to marriage. I might feel differently about this if he wasn't returning to drinking after tying the knot, or reacted to you giving him Beer after quitting. On the other hand, they're both deeply troubled, and I absolutely pair deeply troubled fictional characters, both romantically and platonically. (Bobby Lives! Blackbright whomst, on both counts) They could be deeply troubled.....together..........

And that's the Bachelors! Next up, Bachelorettes..... Abigail: One of her Big character conflicts is growing pains and tension with her Dad. Too young for Simon.

Emily: Too new age-y. I do think they could be friends, though. She'd gift him crystals to "help him absorb negative energy" and he'd get caught in anything she's hung from the ceiling, like dream catchers or beaded curtains. She would be brightly optimistic even as he grouses about life, though wouldn't always appreciate his sarcastic ways.

Haley: Okay hear me out, same energy as Blackmahdi, or NyQuill as I prefer to call it. Sure, it's missing the Ying-Yang color scheme, but consistently arguing? taking pot-shots at each other? both being complex characters with real human motivations underneath their cruel exterior? yeah. It could work. Emily wouldn't be thrilled that that's how they talk to each other though.

Leah: Don't have a reason for it other then I just don't see it. Like, sure, it could happen, but I just don't think it would, you know?

Maru: Simon would be immediately put off by her dad, like that's a big no. Also, she reads fairly young, being at least younger then Seb. also, while he may be reasonably fond of her as a person, (or maybe not, i dunno) I think growing up with Aura may have killed any interest in inventors in general.

Penny: Okay, I know I said Harvey was too timid for Simon, and Penny doesn't exactly exude confidence, but it's not the same. She's a lover of children, who's actively trying to teach the only two children in town. She's aggressively helpful, and trapped in rough circumstances. Also, he could sweep her up in his arms and hold her close and she could gently help him through his anxiety attacks and no I'm not projecting-

Lastly, It's not Romance, but Platonic,

Krobus: No notes. Sweet little guy. Perfection. Simon would share his house with him, as would anyone.

And that's the list!! let me know if you want to hear potential dynamics with the other townsfolk, I may have more thoughts about some of them then others, of course.

[tadpolesonalgae]

i've read the last chapter twice and i honestly thought things would go a different way? idk i thought even if running away didn't work with the magic that maybe she got at least a bit of a backbone, it kinda feels like running to eris and have all that guilt on top of the one she already had was all for nothing. i wanna root for her but at a certain point she's really doing all this to herself. i thought the reunion would warrant some well deserved anger from both parts like a climax of sorts, i guess it did it was just more depressing and defeated than the anger i was expecting. kinda wish we'd seen azriel or even mor tell the others too

and i'm sorry but how did she pick the weirdest way to off herself 😭 like there are so many easier ways, even just with the arrow just stab it through your heart, she definitely wouldn't hit azriel like that and she remembered the wards but didnt think to mind speak to call rhys and feyre? like i get she was in shock but i just dont know how she's so smart but keeps making the dumbest decisions. i also thought the prophecy meant she'd kill him with her powers not just this

i'm sorry if this sounds a bit critical, the chapter was beautifully written as always, you're really amazing at conveying emotion, the reason it's so frustrating to see her stay stuck in her self pity is because of how well you write it but i just thought there would be more happening when she came back - 🧶

Okay…I have some thoughts drifting around in my head so I hope I’ll express them in a coherent fashion 😬😭🧡💛 (though this did get a little long, sorry 🫣🫂)

So, first of all, I think some people probably were expecting anger or some kind of emotional detonation, but in my experience anger and frustration take a lot of energy to sustain and I don’t believe reader—where she was at that moment—was capable of directing her resentment anywhere but herself? She’s exhausted from being alive; she doesn’t have the energy nor the instinct to become angry with Azriel or any of the IC.

I know this is a fanfic, so it would be quite simple to have her ‘fixed’ after visiting Eris, but that scene was supposed to be the first moment of catharsis, where reader is able to physically exhaust a portion of her magic that has been straining on her. It’s mentioned (I think in acomaf, and we also see it with Nesta in acosf) that Rhys has to constantly have magic in use to relieve the pressure it puts on him or else it will drive him insane, so reader needed to have some kind of release moment since her magic wasn’t able to manifest correctly.

I’d also like to mention that I think it might seem underwhelming or anticlimactic in some lights because it is frustrating in a way to see someone continuously be unable to stand up for themselves and just kind of melt into a puddle on the floor? Particularly if they aren’t entirely deserving of certain behaviours and it would be simpler to fix if the person just took a stand and stopped muddling about the place 😭

‘kinda wish we'd seen azriel or even mor tell the others too’

With this, do you mean that reader ran away to Eris, or that she tried to end herself, because I’m pretty sure both of those will be spoken about in chapter 16 if that’s any consolation! 🧡💛

Okay, onto the method of suicide! (Yes, I acknowledge it was a weird choice, certainly a more unintentionally flamboyant approach)

So, since she’s fae (I can’t actually remember if decapitation works?) I’m pretty sure ash is the only thing that can actually kill her? Which limited the options quite significantly? I suppose she could have taken a large dose of faebane to reduce her healing and then ended herself in a more ‘human’ (?) way?

Personally though, there were a couple a reasons I wanted to use the crossbow and arrow!

First of all, using a crossbow, letting reader set it up, knowing she just has to knock into a book and then it will be out of her hands? It’s passive. She’s again letting things be taken out of control—I didn’t want her first moments of real autonomy to be trying to end herself (though that might have been very impactful for a different direction of the story) (I’m also not counting her giving away the earrings since that wasn’t something she did entirely for herself)

Secondly, the Crossbow itself was lying inside the House of Wind, along with various other weapons and blades that the IC are just too accustomed to—I want a specific reason for the IC to understand what sort of problems are happening with reader. While I don’t feel it’s expressly their fault (again, I feel it’s passive, not active—they didn’t intend for their distance to have a negative impact on her, though it did anyway) they will feel responsible that she used something of theirs to hurt herself with.

Then, Eris was the one who gave reader the ash arrow and I would like to have a reason to elaborate on what’s going on in the background (which I’m scared I won’t do well 🫣)

Admittedly this is a slightly strange reason, but I think from reader’s perspective and without being able to understand az’s side, he’s seemed quite cold/distant from her due to external pressures and I wanted this to serve as a reminder that despite how bad things are right now he does still care about her? Not romantically or anything obviously, but he doesn’t want any of the people he cares about to be hurt where he can help it so this felt like a good circumstance that would set their reconciliation (not reconciliation, but their distance closing I guess?) in motion and give them a reason to actually pay attention to one another and figure out what’s going on

(Lastly, this one is more an allegory than anything, but being shot through the heart by an arrow is usually something done by Cupid. So revolving around her love for Azriel and how it’s kind of messing her up? This is definitely a more indulgent reason though 😭)

For the mind speaking thing and why she didn’t call out for Rhys and Feyre—I’m not sure if I expressed it incorrectly but reader was suffering through an onslaught of pretty debilitating inclinations revolving around ending herself, and then the solution to those urges was stripped away from her when Azriel took the arrow instead so she’s having to grasp with the fact she’s still alive, she’s now responsible for murdering someone rhys, Feyre etc. love dearly, she’s killed someone she loves dearly, while also dealing with small glimpses from the war—she isn’t in the right headspace to think outside of those problems.

Also, I don’t feel daemati abilities are explained very clearly, but in my mind Azriel, Cassian, Mor etc. who aren’t daemati would be familiar enough with it (through speaking with Rhys) that they know roughly where to push within their mental expanse to search for a connection point. With reader who has only been fae for two years, has little to no experience with speaking mind to mind—I don’t feel it would be at all possible for her to figure out how to call for someone mentally when she can barely control her own magic and when neither Rhys nor Feyre would have a reason to be checking on her mentally when as far as they know she’s safe and with Az.

With the prophecy/vision that Elain got, all she explicitly sees is Azriel on the floor with blood around him then a flash of green. He looks dead but that’s not something Elain can determine just through visuals just yet—no, Azriel is not dead, but he comes close enough to imitate it!

‘i'm sorry if this sounds a bit critical, the chapter was beautifully written as always, you're really amazing at conveying emotion, the reason it's so frustrating to see her stay stuck in her self pity is because of how well you write it but i just thought there would be more happening when she came back - 🧶’

I think it was critical but I don’t think that’s a bad thing at all and really appreciate it!! 🧡💛 It wasn’t malicious or mean and I really enjoy hearing your opinions on cbmthy’s storyline because it helps me adapt and shape the direction of the plot—seriously, I love getting to hear your thoughts, thank you so much for taking the time to articulate them, it’s such a massive aid 😭🧡💛 I hope none of my replies felt too harsh or absolute, and I would love to know if you have any other thoughts on the storyline!! 🧡💛

[foundtherightwords]

The Quiet Chaos - Chapter 8

Pairing: Billy Knight (Lethal White/Strike) x OFC

Summary: After a bad breakup throws her carefully-planned life into disarray, Esme has sworn off dating forever. However, when she forms an unexpected connection with a young man named Billy, who's dealing with his own struggles, Esme is forced to face the truth: sometimes you can't plan for love.  

Warnings: mental health issues, angst, slow-burn, developing relationship, dysfunctional family, some violence (non-graphic), some smut (non-explicit)

Chapter warnings: some violence, angst

Chapter word count: 4.7k

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5

Chapter 6 - Chapter 7

Chapter 8 - The Abyss

"Billy, come on. We'll be late," Esme called. She could hear Billy banging about in his tiny bathroom. "I'm sure you look fine."

It was the night of the exhibition at the studio. Billy had finished his carving a few days ago, though he refused to let Esme see it. "It'll be a surprise," he'd said. But now, at this rate, they wouldn't even be able to leave his flat, let alone make it to the studio in time.

After some more banging, the door opened. Billy emerged, immobilized in his button-up shirt and sport coat, like a kid in uniform on his first day of school. The tie, which Esme had bought for him, was clutched in his frustrated fist. His beard and hair had been trimmed, though some rogue strands still insisted on rebelling.

"I'm sorry, but I can't wear the tie," he said.

"You want me to do it up for you?"

"It's not that. I feel like I'm being strangled."

He looked at Esme in her dress—it was the same cocktail dress she'd worn on New Year's Eve. Back when she and Neil used to go out every night, her wardrobe was filled with a whole selection of evening dresses, most of which got sold or donated after the breakup. She was glad she'd kept this one though. "You look great," Billy said glumly. "I look like a twat."

"No, you look handsome," Esme said honestly, giving him a kiss. "Even without the tie."

"Do we have to do this?" he grumbled. "I can think of several better ways to spend an evening... starting with this." He grabbed her by the waist and kissed her back, playful at first, then becoming more seductive as he trailed his lips along her jaw, then took her earlobe between his teeth and tugged gently at it, before moving down her neck. It took all of Esme's self-control to push him away.

"Jacob will be very disappointed if you don't show," she reminded him. "Besides, there will be clients and customers there. This could mean a better job, doing something you love. We don't have to stay long. We can leave with plenty of time to—" Here she gave in and sank into his arms again.

The exhibition started at eight, and it was almost seven thirty when they finally managed to leave the flat, fifteen minutes later than Esme had planned. She could tell, from the way Billy fiddled with the sleeves of his coat and kept tucking a lock of hair behind his ear, that he was nervous—perhaps not as nervous as he'd been during their first date; his hypomania had gotten a lot better since then—but nervous nonetheless. She fixed his coat so the lapels were symmetrical and slipped her arm around his waist, holding him to her. "It'll be great. Don't worry."

They had agreed to walk to the studio—it wasn't far, the night was unseasonably warm for January, and the walk would help Billy work off some of his nervous energy. Esme kept her arm around Billy, her skin tingling pleasantly when he reached under her jacket and rested his hand on her bare back.

As they approached the footbridge that would take them down to the river bank, Billy's hand suddenly froze. A figure just detached itself from the shadow under the bridge and loomed in front of them. For a moment, Esme thought Neil had escalated to stalking her, but then the figure spoke, and her fear only worsened.

"What a lovely picture you two made." Despite the slurring, she still recognized that cold, hard voice. Jimmy.

Billy's hand moved from her back to clench around her wrist, so tightly it almost hurt.

Jimmy stepped into the light. He looked worse than when they'd last seen him on Boxing Day. His stubble had grown into a full, untidy beard, and his eyes were sunken and bloodshot. Even from a distance, Esme could smell alcohol on his breath, and judging by those eyes, he was probably stoned as well.

"Leave us alone, Jimmy," Billy said, a desperate note in his voice.

"Don't waste your breath on him," Esme said, digging for her phone in her bag. "I'm calling the police."

"Yes, call them by all means." He lifted his hand, and Esme's heart caught in her throat. Jimmy was holding one of Billy's chisels, awkwardly as if he wasn't used to having it in his fingers, turning it so the yellow light from the street lamps glinted off of it. He must've taken it from Billy's flat. "They'll be very interested to see this buried in your pretty little neck, with my brother's fingerprints all over it, won't they?"

"They'd find your fingerprints on it first, you idiot," Esme snapped, trying to keep her voice steady.

"Oh, it'll be easy enough to put Billy's fingerprints on it, right, Billy?"

Billy let out a strangled noise.

"Don't listen to him, Billy," Esme said. "He's only trying to frighten you." For one thing, from what Billy told her, Jimmy was not a killer. For another, he seemed too inebriated to actually keep a firm grasp on the chisel, let alone stab anyone with it.

Jimmy grinned horribly. "Am I?"

Doubt sneaked into Esme's mind. Jimmy was not a violent man, but who knew how prison had changed him. Even if he didn't actually plan to kill her, he might stress Billy out enough to trigger some unpredictable behavior or even a psychotic episode, so Billy would be under his thumb again.

She would not let that happen.

Her fingers closed around her phone. To her surprise, Jimmy just stood there grinning at her, almost daring her to make the call, watching her like they were playing a terrible game of chicken. He made no move to stop her while she dialed 999, told the operator that they were being threatened by an armed man, and gave their location. Perhaps he really was stoned out of his mind.

"The police are coming, Jimmy," she said, hanging up. "You don't want to go back to prison, do you?"

At that, the veneer cracked. Jimmy's face twisted, and he whirled around to Billy. "It was you!" he snarled. "I went to prison because of you! You fucked everything up for me! Why couldn't you have died, like the rest of them?"

Billy recoiled, and fury rose within Esme. "Don't you dare blame it on him!" she shouted, stepping in front of Billy and giving Jimmy a shove. "You did it to yourself, you bastard—"

She didn't see Jimmy's fist coming for her. She only felt something slam into her cheek, and she toppled sideways, hitting her head on the bridge's railing. Black stars exploded over her eyes.

She didn't even feel the pain. She was dimly aware of a growl and then the sound of struggling, and a shadowy, lumpy shape dropped down next to her, but she was too dazed to move.

Then the fog lifted somewhat from her head, her eyes cleared, and she saw that the shape was Jimmy on his back, with Billy kneeling over him. Jimmy's arms and legs were failing uselessly, and there was a choking noise.

It took Esme a moment to realize Billy was strangling Jimmy.

"No, no, no, Billy, no!" she screamed, scrambling to her feet, trying to reach him. "Let him go!" Jimmy's face was turning purple.

She pulled on Billy's arm to loosen his grip around Jimmy's neck. Billy spun to her. Instinctively, she dropped his arm and shrank back, away from the dark fire burning in his eyes.

The moment he saw her fear, the fire went out immediately, leaving shock and panic in its place.

Sirens rang out in the distance. The sound seemed to wake Billy from his trance. He looked down at Jimmy, who was coughing and spluttering on the ground, then to Esme's horror-stricken face, before bolting up and disappearing into the night.

***

After giving her statement to the police and watching Jimmy getting taken away, Esme went straight to the studio to find Jacob. She had an idea of where Billy might have gone, but she understood that she shouldn't go alone, nor should she ask the police to search for him. Billy's panic would only get worse if he saw the police. She had gotten better acquainted with Jacob during her lunch dates with Billy at the studio, and knew the old man's soft spot for Billy. She could count on him for help.

The studio was full of light and people and chatter. The sight tore her heart as it brought back all too vividly the memory of the last time she and Billy were there, but there was no time to dwell on it. Ignoring the guests' curious stare at her bedraggled state, she wove through the crowd until she found Jacob talking to a woman wearing what must have been half of her body weight in costume jewelry. The old man saw Esme approaching, and his eyes widened.

"Good God, Esme!" he exclaimed. "What happened to you? Where's Billy?"

In a hurried whisper, Esme gave him a brief rundown. She knew she'd made the right decision when Jacob, without any further question, quickly excused himself and led her to his car.

"That wretched brother of his!" he thundered as the car rolled down the street, slowly so they could keep an eye out for Billy. "I knew he'd be trouble."

"How much did Billy tell you?" Esme asked.

"Enough for me to know that Billy only made the progress he did in the last few years because Jimmy wasn't there to upset him," said Jacob, shaking his head.

"Upset" is too light a word for what Jimmy's done. Esme was glad the police had carted him away, for she would've done far worse damage if he had been left with her. Her temple throbbed, but it was nothing compared to the pain in her heart when she remembered the harrowing look in Billy's eyes before he ran away. After twenty years of being haunted by the memory of a kid being strangled, only to find himself attacking his brother the same way...

There was no sign of Billy on the streets. When they arrived at the greenhouse, it was dark, and Esme felt her body go cold for a moment, thinking she might have made a mistake. But they discovered a broken panel of glass by the door. Somebody had been there. Whether he was still there was another question.

Jacob tried the handle. "Something's blocking it," he said to Esme. Then, tapping on the door, he called, "Billy? You in there? It's Jacob."

There was a shuffling sound, then a whimper, like that of a small child or a dog. Esme, who had been trying to stay stoic this whole time, felt tears welling up in her eyes. He was here. All alone, and probably frightened out of his wits. I could kill Jimmy for this!

"Billy, I'm with Esme here," Jacob continued. "Just us. No one else. We're very worried about you. Please let us in."

Silence. Then, Billy asked, in a small, choked voice, "Is Esme all right?"

Swallowing her tears, Esme answered, "Yeah, I'm fine."

"And Jimmy? He all right?"

"He's... he's fine too." It was just like Billy to worry about Jimmy, even after Jimmy had threatened to kill Esme and frame him for it. "The police have taken him away. He won't bother you again."

They heard a scraping, and finally the door opened. Esme pushed past Jacob and fell into Billy's arms. "Are you OK? Are you hurt?"

"I'm alright," he said, but his arms around her were limp and his eyes remained wary and fearful, like those of a cornered animal.

Jacob turned on the lights. Billy had blocked the door with the bench, but other than the glass scattered by the door, the greenhouse was undisturbed. Then Esme saw the blood on Billy's hand and gasped.

"It's just from the glass. It's fine," he told her. "Sorry about the door," he said to Jacob, hanging his head. "I didn't have the key with me. I'll pay for it."

Jacob waved him off. "Don't worry about it, lad."

"I'm sorry about the exhibition too." Billy turned to Esme. "I'm sorry you missed it."

"Shh." Esme tightened her embrace. "You're alright, that's all that matters."

***

Jacob dropped them off at Esme's flat. Angua was ecstatic to see them back, but with the unerring instinct of a dog, she immediately sensed that something was wrong and sat quietly by Billy's feet, keeping him company while Esme went into the bathroom. "I'm just going to have a quick wash," she told him. She felt stiff and sore, her tulle skirt was spattered with dirt and blood, and although the EMT had given her an ice pack, she could still feel bruises forming on her temple and her cheek, where Jimmy had hit her. Some hot water would do her good.

Billy just sat. When Angua pushed her nose under his hand, he absently petted her, but otherwise didn't seem aware of anything else. The shock that had supplied him with energy and kept him moving and talking at the greenhouse seemed to have drained out of him, leaving him nearly catatonic. Esme hated to leave him alone like that.

"Do you want to take a shower with me?" she asked. "I think we both need cleaning up."

He shrugged. She took him into the bathroom and turned on the shower. He showed no sign of moving, so she took off his shoes and socks, his coat, his shirt, his jeans, and his boxers, yammering all the while about how his coat and her dress would have to go to the dry cleaner's, about buttons that refused to unbutton and zips that refused to unzip. The shyness she always felt whenever they took each other's clothes off for sex, no matter how often it was, was completely absent. This was no time for shyness. Billy was hurting, and he needed her. She didn't know if he was even listening to her nonsense. With eyes staring drearily past her head, he seemed locked somewhere inside himself, where outer reality was only a dim flicker, like a film on an old-fashioned theater screen. She was only glad that steam was filling up the bathroom, so she didn't have to see the heartbreaking expression in his eyes, so she could keep her voice calm and her hands steady. Breaking down and crying would help no one. She must keep calm, for him.

As she tugged her dress down her shoulders, there was a glimmer of reaction in Billy; he looked around, discomfited, not knowing where to put his eyes. Perhaps he was only now realizing they were getting naked together and thinking she was expecting something else from him. Esme quickly sat him down in her tiny tub. "No, we're just taking a shower, that's all," she assured him.

A few seconds later, she climbed in behind him. Billy sat hunched over, his back to her. She gently washed his neck, his back, his arms, careful to avoid the cuts on his hand, rubbing shampoo into his hair and massaging his scalp. The only sounds were the steady splashing of the water and the soft crooning of her voice as she whispered soothing words to him, stopping every so often to drop a kiss on his temple, his shoulder, his neck. Throughout it all, Billy remained curled into a ball, his head bent, either with exhaustion or grief, she didn't know. She wanted to talk to him, or ask him to talk to her, or just do... something, to break him out of that tortured inner world he had retreated into, but she didn't know where to start.

"Could you turn around, please?" she said.

Her tub was so small that Billy had to stand up to turn around. He slipped on the soapy water, stumbled, and sat down hard, kicking Esme in the shin and splashing her with water and suds. "Ow," she yelped, wiping soap out of her eyes.

"Sorry," Billy muttered.

"It's OK." She laughed a little, and Billy smiled as well, a bit wanly perhaps, but it was a smile nonetheless.

After that, he relaxed a bit. His shoulders dropped, he kissed her back, and once she finished washing him, he leaned into her, resting his head on her shoulder. Esme could feel herself relax as well, the knot in her stomach loosening. She wrapped her arms around Billy. As she did so, she felt a tremor on his back, subtle at first, then it built and built, an earthquake starting from somewhere deep inside him, until his whole body was shaking and heaving with dry sobs, sobs that threatened to tear him apart, sobs that did tear her heart into pieces.

"Oh Billy," she murmured, rocking him gently. "It's OK. Everything's OK now." She continued to rock him, while the warm sprays washed over both of them and he clung to her, like a drowning man holding on to a life raft.

***

Billy stayed with Esme throughout that weekend. Though he was no longer unresponsive as he had been the night of Jimmy's attack, he remained withdrawn, and would sit still for hours, not doing much, not even speaking much to Esme other than the minimum. More than once, she caught him looking at her bruises with a pained expression, before turning away again. If his hypomania had been alarming, then this withdrawal was painful to watch. Esme knew better than to push him to talk, so she just sat with him and read to him if he asked. It was a good thing they were in the middle of Hogfather. Out of all the Discworld books, she couldn't think of anything further removed from their current situation as one about Death and his granddaughter trying to save the spirit of Christmas (OK, the spirit of Hogswatch), so it would be least likely to upset Billy.

But none of it made much of a difference. Her own helplessness made Esme want to scream. Whatever Billy was going through, one hot shower and all the cuddles and kisses she could give were not enough to make it go away.

Worse still, when she called Billy's manager at Asda to ask for a few days off for him, she was informed that they had to fire him because he had missed too many shifts. It had nearly sent him into another panic attack.

"It's OK," she said, rubbing his back, trying to calm him down. "I'm sure Jacob will give you a job at the studio."

"Not after I broke into his greenhouse."

"You know he doesn't mind that. He said so himself. And if you're worried about money, you can move in with me." She had meant it seriously, having thought about asking him to move in for quite some time now, but as soon as she said it, she realized how tactless it was and mumbled a quick apology.

Esme had a shift on Sunday, but she called in sick, partly because she wanted to stay home with Billy, and partly because she didn't want to have to explain her bruised face to her co-workers. On Monday, when Billy had an appointment with his psychiatrist, she went to work, her bruises hidden under a large amount of concealer. Thankfully, nobody seemed to notice.

Billy had said he would go back to his flat for a few things, so Esme dropped by after work to check on him. She found him in the front room, packing clothes from the drawers under the sofa bed into a duffel bag.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"My psychiatrist thinks I should go back to the hospital for a while," he said, not looking at her.

Her heart sinking, Esme sat down on the edge of the sofa, watching Billy. He was moving with more energy and focus than he had all weekend, but there was a grim look about him that she hadn't seen before and didn't like.

"Okay..." she said slowly, "I guess it's for the best. How long will you be?"

"I don't know." He stacked up the audiobook CDs, mumbling something about having to drop them off at the library. Then, with his back against her, he said, "Also, I think we should take a break."

Those words were uttered so quietly and quickly and out of nowhere, that she almost didn't catch them. "What?"

"We should take a break," he repeated and turned toward her, but still wouldn't look at her. His hands, empty now, fidgeted by his sides.

"But—why?"

He sat down at the other end of the sofa, keeping his distance. "Look, the past six months... it's been amazing. But I'm not ready for this. I still have too much shit I need to work through."

"But why do you have to work through it alone?" she said, wrapping her hands around his face, forcing him to look at her. "I can be here for you..."

Billy pried her hands off his cheeks. He picked up his tools, still in the little rack she had bought for him from the flea market so he could hang them up in the kitchen. One of the spots remained empty, where Jimmy had taken the chisel. Billy probably was packing them away for safekeeping while he was in the hospital.

"What if I snap again?" he said quietly, fingering the wooden handles. "What if it's you that I hurt this time?"

"You won't." His chin was dipped toward his chest, so she had to bend down to look into his eyes. "I trust you." It was one of the first things she'd ever said to him, the night they met. Did he remember that? She had trusted him before knowing who he was, and she still trusted him now.

He turned away. "But I don't trust me."

"Don't give me that rubbish!"

Billy's hand swiped at his nose and chest in one quick movement, so fleeting and smooth that if Esme hadn't known him well, it would've appeared almost natural. That looking-inward expression came into his eyes again.

"Esme, why are you with me?"

She frowned at him. "Why do you ask?"

"Just—look at me. Unemployed, mentally ill, brother in prison. Why'd you want to be with me?"

Esme still couldn't quite believe that he was actually breaking up with her. She realized she was getting angry. It's the same old "I'm not good enough for you", "you deserve better than me" bullshit, isn't it? God, he can't even come up with an original reason!

"Because I like being with you," she said. "Why else?"

"So I'm not just another injured stray that you picked up? Emerald Saves a Nut Job?"

His words hit her like a slap to the face. "That's not true!"

"No? Then why can't you even talk to me about your parents? Why have you stopped wearing your White Horse necklace around me? Why did you call in sick just to stay home with me?"

"That's because I care about you!" she said, frustrated tears spilling from her eyes.

"I don't want you to have to go through all that for me. I can't give you nothing in return."

"I'm not asking for anything—"

But Billy wasn't listening. "Look at your family," he said. "You do all those things for them, and where does that leave you? I don't want you to end up resenting me like that."

"I don't—you're not—" She was spluttering now, choked by helpless anger. Anger at Jimmy for barging into their life and fucking everything up. Anger at Billy for springing this on her out of nowhere. And anger at herself for not being able to think of a good reason to talk him out of it. Or rather, she could think of plenty of good reasons, starting with I love you. She just couldn't say it. What would that change, when he had already made up his mind and decided that she didn't love him, that she only pitied him?

Is he wrong though? She didn't like to think that she had some sort of savior complex. But what else could it be? All her old doubts and fears started creeping back, her family laughing at her for trying to have a normal Christmas, Neil yelling about how she was always trying to change him. She thought of all the nights she'd spent awake to comfort Billy, all the anxiety she'd had since they started dating, the fear she'd been through after Jimmy's attack. Is Billy right? Am I with him just because I want to fix him, like I want to fix everything and everybody in my life? Am I hurting myself, burning myself to keep him warm? Am I hurting him?

Then her anger was replaced by grief when she realized this had been eating away at Billy since the visit to her parents. He had seen how stressed she was around her family. When he'd touched her hand or smiled at her during that visit, it hadn't been to calm himself. It had been to calm her. And now, he believed their relationship would turn out the same. It was all her fault.

"But... but this is just a break, right?" she said, holding on to some remaining shreds of hope. "Just until you get better, right?"

"I can't ask you to wait for me."

"Don't I get a say in that?"

"It wouldn't be fair to you."

This was true. Esme knew he could get worse. Who knew how long it would be until he got better, if he got better at all? Would she be able to deal with that much of the unknown, she who had to plan out her day down to the hour? And even if he did get better, things might change. He might decide he didn't need her anymore. She might decide she didn't want him anymore.

She looked at Billy, at his disheveled hair, the long lashes veiling over his eyes so she couldn't see what he was feeling, his soft lips pressed into an unfamiliar hard line, his strong hands still fiddling with his chisels, and the idea of no longer wanting him was inconceivable. But if this was what he wanted, if this was what he needed, then she would give it to him, even if it broke her heart.

"Do you want me to go with you to the hospital?" she asked, swallowing the lump in her throat.

"No, I don't want you to miss work."

"Can I visit you then?"

"If you want."

And that was that. There was nothing else to say.

"Say goodbye to Billy, Angua," Esme said, reattaching the leash to Angua's collar. The little dog had been sitting on the floor between them this whole time, watching them anxiously. Now, as if knowing this would probably be the last time she saw Billy, she whined and licked his hand, refusing to move. Esme had to pick her up. "Come on, we must go."  

"Goodbye, Angua," Billy said.

Esme paused at the door, waiting, hoping he would say something to her as well, but he remained on the sofa, his head bent and turned away from her. He was sitting more still than she had ever seen him, his right hand balled into a fist and gripped in his left, his shoulders tense, his whole body looking like it was on the verge of shattering. Her heart broke all over again, and, unwilling to see him in such pain, she turned around and left.

Chapter 9

Taglist: @quinnypixie, @accidentalslag, @etherealglimmer

[mamamittens]

HH again. So Melody 100% thinks her dad's were a couple and I feel like she would assume that Sanji and Zoro are a couple as well

You'd think so, but not really?

Jinbe and Arlong (current day) feel a lot like bitter exes who had a rough fallout and only keep civil for the kid. Divorced co parent energy. A sense of intimacy only grown from years of knowing someone else better than anyone else lingering between them. They're never getting back together but sometimes they remember why they used to get along so well.

Zoro and Sanji, however, are always at each other's throats. It's really on sight with them and though there's definitely respect it's a sort of rough, earned respect. A weird, mutual understanding of each other's worst aspects and best skills. They simply haven't known each other long enough to hold that softness for one another that Melody would identify as love.

She'd actually worry for a while that they really hated each other and it stresses her out until she sees them fight with each other instead of against. Then she gets the sense of deep respect and trust. She might think there's a good potential as a couple, but the complete confidence in their current dynamic puts that to rest.

She settles on them being weird and subconsciously taking out their frustrations on each other in a weird healthy-for-them way. They're serious about their arguments but not.... Deadly serious? It's like intense teasing, basically. And once she understands this she's a lot less stressed about it.

[someone-wrote-here21]

Kamaboko squad - Band AU

My headcanons for if the Kamaboko squad were in a band in a modern au. Plus 2 extra characters at the end.

Posted on ao3 in my Demon Slayer Oneshots/Headcannons book!

Requests are always open/welcomed!

Enjoy :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

■ Tanjiro

- Tanjiro would be the lead guitarist of the band as well as the band leader. He'd be the one to book events for them and make sure everything is prepared for their next show.

- He also is the one to make the practice schedules for everyone, making it so that it works with each member's free time perfectly.

■ Inosuke

- Inosuke for sure would be the drummer. It would definitely be the best choice as he can use it to release all his pent up energy or frustration during shows or practices.

- It's also a good choice for him as he doesn't have to memorize specifics, like notes and/or lyrics, just the beat of the songs. When on stage, Inosuke likes to give the audience a little show sometimes by doing tricks with his drumsticks and showcasing his flexibility between sets, to keep the audience hyped. And to show off a little.

■ Kanao

- I feel like Kanao wouldn't be on stage but more of an unseen to the public kind of member, matching her more quiet nature. She would be the one to write some of the songs alongside Muichiro, but mostly deals with managing the band.

- She'd work with Tanjiro to secure bookings and venues and handles the band's finances. Kanao also handles the paperwork involved with handling their merch and doling out everyone's paychecks.

■ Genya

- I think Genya would be the band's bassist. I feel like he would enjoy playing that instrument the most. It's not an 'in your face' type position in the band, like a singer or drummer but isn't a forgotten one either.

- I also think that Genya, like Inosuke, would sometimes show off to the crowd by playing the bass behind his back, keeping their interest. Also showing of his skills. Because of this, I think he and Inosuke compete to see who can impress the crowd more every performance.

■ Nezuko

- Nezuko is a singer alongside Zenitsu. They sing together on stage alot and is usually the one to get the audience engaged in some songs, like getting them to clap or sing along.

- I feel like she'd also be the one to design and coordinate everyone outs fits for each show they do. I think Nezuko'd be really good at fashion and she knows how to dress everyone in their respective styles and still have them look coordinated and in theme. Nezuko also helps Muichiro in making merch designs before handing them to Kanao.

■ Muichiro

- Muichiro is another one that I think would do better not in the public view due to his quiet nature. He mostly works on songwriting and creating merch designs.

- He also forgets the practice days a lot so they usually have it at his house, plus he has the space for it. If they have a particularly big show and the ticket sales and preparations get a little bit hectic, Muichiro will often help Kanao in dealing with it.

■ Zenitsu

- I see Zenitsu as the lead singer alongside Nezuko. With his much he can scream in the show, I think it's a good fit. Plus with his great hearing he can differentiate between pitches and keys to sing in.

- Out of all of them I think that Zenitsu is the one to be the most engaged with the fans out side of at shows. Like at meet and greets or just having fans come up to him on the street, I feel like he is less cautious about it and just gets super excited to meet everyone. His excitement goes through the roof, especially when girls come upto him.

[EXTRA]

■ Giyuu and Sanemi

- These two would be the bodyguards. They make sure that fans don't get too rowdy during shows and meet n greets, as well as make sure no one steps out of line. They both take their job very seriously and haven't really had any accidents with fans. Most fans are very respectful to the band and its space but whenever a fan decides to break a boundary, these to are on it in an instant.

- Giyuu became their bodyguard since he's close family friends with the Kamado's when they were growing up. He thought it would be a great way to support them and make sure they stay safe in the entertainment industry. Plus with how he doesn't show that much emotion to others in public and acts closed off a lot, it helps him have the silent and intimidating look for his position.

- Sanemi became their bodyguard mostly to keep watch over Genya. With him being his only living sibling he didn't want Genya to be in any sort of danger, especially since being in a band gains a lot of public attention, not all of it positive. When realizing that participating in the band was what Genya really wanted to do, Sanemi agreed on the condition that he'd be their bodyguard. At first, he didn't like the idea and especially didn't like Tanjiro, blaming him for giving his brother the idea of being in the band, but after a while he warmed up to the idea and to the others, seeing how they all cared for one another and seeing how happy Genya was, doing this with his friends.

- Both Giyuu and Sanemi became bodyguard for the band at the same time but only became somewhat friends after 2 years. At first, Sanemi didn't like how closed off Giyuu was, thinking that he was looking down on him. Giyuu on the other hand, thought Sanemi was too aggressive and didn't like how he spoke to the other members. Eventually though, they warmed up to each other and became friends, bonding over the fact that they both want to keep the teens safe.

- Eventhough both are intimidating when doing their job, they also have fans of their own. Many of the band's fans are also fans of them and try to get pictures or autographs or their phone numbers. Sanemi and Giyuu decline their efforts which has led to many of the fans thinking they are together. Is this rumor true.....? Welp, we'll never know.

[alexandersimpleton]

So saw this post, and decided to share some stuff, I scrolled down your blog a bit, and saw an OMORI post... So here's my idea for everybody's Epithets!

Sunny - Dreamer - This word is brought up a lot in the context of Sunny, and makes sense for Headspace and how it works. I'm still gonna explain the logistics and why I had those as powers though.

Dreamer allows for the user to have incredibly complex dreams, manifest abilities from these into reality. (Calm Down, Focus, Persist) Create nightmarish illusions from somebody's psyche. (Think Nightmare Fuel with Drowsy and SOMETHING and all of it's related fights) Invite others subconsciousness into their dreams. (Mostly Basil related stuff from the OG OMORI) As well as being able to fall asleep and wake up on command. (It's a buncha instances rather than one so..)

Kel - Caffeine - It's mostly because, he's really fast, and also Orange Joe contains extreme amounts of caffeine

That is... not normal.... So, I made it Kel's Epithet!

Caffeine allows the user to consume any amount of caffeine without consequence, as well as boosting the effects of it. It also allows for short boosts of caffeine which can give a bunch more energy and speed. The user can also apply these effects to others. They can also almost infinitely restore physical Stamina... mental stamina though? Yeah... that's gonna take a hit after a while.

Aubrey... Honestly not sure, whether she'd be a Mundie or Inscribed. If she WAS Inscribed, Bunny would work, but eh idk. Just not sure.

Mari ~ Picnic...? ~ In Headspace, everybody has an Epithet, simply because they're cool. So of course Mari needs one. In the Real World, Mari had no Epithet and was totally not frustrated about that, and assumed that Sunny having an Epithet should be as good as her, if not better, especially with something like Dreamer, wouldn't somebody be able to reach their dreams, and Sunny DOES want this doesn't he?!

Picnic allows travel from any picnic blanket to another, manifestation of food in a picnic basket, this food immediately restoring all your stamina and healing your wounds.It also allows immediate transportation to the last held picnic basket imbued with Picnic for anybody. This is all at no cost to the user.

Hero ~ Mundie...? ~ Honestly it'd be kinda funny, and make sense, if he was a Mundie. But nobody realized. Because he's very charming, very good at making food, and very good at school. Everybody assumes he has some kind of Epithet, but just doesn't talk about it.

In Headspace, his Epithet is Food. Which allows for the creation of, of course, food. This food can heal wounds, or restore stamina, works similar to Picnic basically but way less strong, and does actually require stamina.

Basil - Photo - Allows for the capture or summoning of a photo of any moment the user has seen. As well as the summoning of a Photo Album. Reflects the memory itself, rather than what truly happened. Though after it's been shot, the memory stays in that state, until the photo is destroyed, at which the memory continues as if it were a normal one.

OMORI - ??? - It's stated OMORI hasn't figure out his Epithet yet. OMORI basically acts as he does usually in Headspace, with all the powers.

Honestly the Epithets don't change... much, since I kept them fairly similar to the anomalous things already existing in canon, still some stuff that's fun and different from OG OMORI, but, yeah, fun! Hope you enjoy!

Yeah I enjoyed all of that! They were all so creative! I don't have much to add (which is probably partially because it's the middle of the night where I am and I can't think), but I just wanted other people to see these amazing ideas (and add a Kel nuke joke because that uses coffee)

[silentalltheseyearsnomore]

Something k said last night really has stuck in my mind.

We were brave and asked her if there is something on our side that could be causing this pattern. We asked her if how we tried to hold her accountable when she was our therapist was done okay, or if it comes across in a harmful way. Because at the time, she threw it back at us and called us abusive and our words harmful. We knew deep down we wrote it all with care, focusing on how her actions made us feel, and constantly saying we understand the cause of her behaviour and still love her anyway. But... it stuck in our head. And now there are patterns. So we asked. Knowing we should not necessarily trust her if she says we are abusive again.

She said we did nothing wrong at all. We never did. It was her, and people who can not take accountability will run away from us exceptionally fast. But that is not us doing something wrong, what we do is the right thing. She said we are incredibly good at holding people accountable, that we are too strong for most people, and they are not ready. They will run. They will not face their shit. She said there is also something about us that makes other people see and feel their own stuff- that when people connect to our energy, they also connect to their own, and that can be scary. We've had a lot of people say this before, and I love/hate it in equal parts. I love that we somehow make people wake up, and I hate that it means they often run away from us.

Then we asked more, to get a sense of how people (therapists mostly, or the few people who know more than just our functioning parts) perceive us... why does this pattern happen? Why are we getting so harmed? So many promises broken? What is our part in it?

First, she talked about how intense it can be, because of the size of our system, the level of trauma, she said "it's like 50 people coming at you at once.. and I don't mean coming at you like you were harmful, but just.. there's so much. I wasn't prepared, I don't think many specialists even are, and they get overwhelmed." She said again that is not our fault. This was disorientating to hear just because our default is always a level of denial. We are always so fucking confused when things like this happen, and to hear her explain it like this on the outside.. it's so confronting. What do you mean? Why would you be overwhelmed if it's not even real?

Secondly she talked about something that happens which she believes is to do with the RAMC. Where she would get sucked in to our denial and avoidance, confusion.. like in to another world, so no "real work" ever really happened. Other dramas between us would be created and she'd always feel like.. how is this happening? She said she almost felt programmed in response. Our longterm therapist before her said the exact same, so this... I mean, it was disorientating and validating and heartbreaking and frustrating all at once. Like it cleared some fog for us. But then just even more unfairness. Like. These are our therapists. They should have not got lost with us. Will anyone ever be able to help us heal? Are we too broken? Can we do therapy "right"?

But, this is what stuck with me most.. she said this is something she's been scared of sharing with me, knowing it would be triggering (for RAMC stuff)...

She talked about this intense dark energy we have all around us. She said nowadays, where she's trained more, more experience with DID, she can understand all the parts stuff, all the theories, all the work she does with other clients. But this dark energy, and how connected to it she is with us, she can not understand and it disturbs her and part of what played in to the shit in our relationship. She said how she dreams about it, still, in detail... and she doesn't understand. We talked around spirituality, and our connection, all the nice magical signs we used to talk about that we've had our whole life before we knew each other, like a sign we were meant to find each other and we both said perhaps her being so connected to our darkness is the other side of that inexplicable connection. She went in to more detail... at one point we went quiet and she was worried she triggered us mentioning religion. Or that we thought she could be part of the abuser group. Which is always gonna be a thing for some parts. Especially if she starts saying shit like religion and exorcism. But it wasn't that. We were just struggling to remember the dark energy isn't US. She reassured us it's not. She said we are the light, that is why we survived, that is why we keep surviving, that is why our heart is so good. We asked if everyone close to us will feel it? We know most people dont.. we get comments on the opposite, on how we have such a calming energy, people use the word "light" for us so often. But do the few who really know us, feel this? Do they see darkness when we walk in a room? She said she can't answer for everyone, but she imagines they may not see darkness, but many will feel overwhelm, and again how that is not our fault, simply the result of what we carry.

She said that she just wants to help get rid of this huge heavy darkness around us. That she's never seen with anyone ever.... ouch. It just feels personal. I know its not. I know it's put on us. But it feels heavy.

At the same time it was validating and uplifting.. to name it. We feel it. We've seen body workers who mention it. And lately this past week, we've intuitively needed to go to large open spaces and lay on the ground and ask the earth to just absorb some of the darkness. It is so fucking heavy. It is like drowning. Hearing her name it felt hurtful but also hopeful.. like.. it's named.. now we can tackle it. We even did a kind of visual somatic thing together and it was wildly wildly powerful. It always is when we do it together. Which aligns to what she says about how she is so connected to our stuff in some weird spiritual level way even when we arent in contact.. the dreams she has.. it's wild and creepy. So when we do these somatic things, she feels it in her body too and we release it together. Which, I know many practitioners do to an extent, they are tuning in to our feelings and can feel what we do in our body sometimes. But with her it's like another level, and we do some kind of magic at times.

I am cautious to listen to her. I know she has been so damaging. But I know myself and know what of hers to listen to and what not, these days. This felt aligned.

I want S. I need S. Child parts especially. I need us to repair. I need it to be okay. She is so much more healing, comforting, secure, consistent, stable.... or was. Until now. Everything in me needs us to work it out and be okay together again. But while we are not, we need something, someone, and K is what we have. I wish wish wish we didnt need anyone. I wish we could just heal ourselves.. I wish when this attachment pain screams we could soothe it completely alone... but I can't. Not yet. I've come so far. So far. And we do soothe each other. We work so hard. And we can handle little triggers, smaller attachment pain, even big attachment pain when there's more than one attachment person in our life. But when this happens? When it seems there is NO ONE? We can't. We just can not. It is too big to soothe alone. And right or wrong we still choose the very questionable attachment figure over none. For now. Carefully.

[hiding-in-my-blanket-fort]

.

Just doing a brain dump to get it off my mind. And to make sure I talk about it, rather than bottling it up.

Since I'm reading a stack of toxic family self help books, I've been re-evaluating the way I perceive myself, my self belief system, etc. I was an anxious, shy, introverted kid. I also suspect neurodivergence plays a big role as well.

So, I had trouble socializing. I was often thrown into a big group of kids with my loud, extroverted, boisterous brother and obviously people flocked to him. He was also the Golden Child so my mother told me to be more like him "because people liked him." The implication was loud and clear that they didn't like me.

She gave me conflicting messages that messed with my head. On one hand, she said, "When you're quiet, people think you're a bitch." (Gee! Thanks!)

On the other hand, whenever I expressed frustration at my lack of friends or social belonging, she said, "What do you have to complain about? Everyone loves you!"

That just made me confused. Did people actually like me? Was I not giving myself enough credit? What was I not seeing here?

But looking back, I realize that I was right. I did not have social belonging or acceptance of any kind.

I had one long term friend. She moved away and we were pen pals for 10 years. But she loved to drop little hints and comments to put me down, i.e. when she repeatedly brought up how she was having literary analysis chats with her college friends about Twilight. "You wouldn't understand. This is what you talk about in college." I went to college a year or two later.

One time, she described our friendship as Frodo and Sam. Which would have been an honor if she'd just stopped there. But she described herself as Frodo because she was "the hero of the friendship, going on adventures". Meanwhile, she dubbed me as Sam, "the sidekick who stays home and bakes pies, being domestic" (I have multiple severe food intolerances so I have to cook a lot of my own food, but she didn't know how to cook, like it was beneath her because she was An Academic Scholar).

It was kinda...gut wrenching tbh. Sam fucking carried Frodo up that mountain. But she did not describe me that way.

My other "friends" never showed interest in what I was interested in. They pushed their interests all the time, but when I shared what I was excited about, I was met with bored expressions or dismissive comments. I read their favorite books and watched their favorite movies, but they didn't give a damn about my favorite anything.

And I'm not saying I did it expecting reciprocity. But there has to be a balance. I talked myself out of expecting any return interest. I was supposed to just pour myself into them, again and again, because it was "selfish" to expect anyone to be interested in me.

And then I wondered why I felt so empty. If you're spending all the time on them, and they can't be bothered with you in return, something isn't right.

In group settings, it's almost physically painful and I struggle to just stay afloat. There's too much happening, I'm overwhelmed by all the social cues flying around, I never know when I can talk, and it's taking so much energy that it's killing me but I can't even meet the bare minimum.

I have a vivid memory of sitting in a group and interjecting a comment about art. The loudest asshole guy in the group who had been commandeering the whole chat said, "Well, there goes the INTERESTING conversation we were having!" And it hurt so fucking much because it takes a lot for me to speak up, especially when it comes to something I care about.

I was even rescued from a group once. It was a teen outing and everyone was really rowdy and loud, practically climbing all over my brother. I sat at the far end of the table feeling invisible. One of the chaperones tapped me on the shoulder and suggested we visit the art gallery next door, saying that she knew what it was like to be stuck in a situation like that.

It was very kind of her to do that, but it's also just...fucking sad.

A few years ago, I thought I was making friends with two girls I worked with. But they both had big friend groups already. And I swear they could smell my lack of friends on me or something. It was so casual for them to have group chats, order food for each other, plan a movie outing, swap phone numbers. They didn't have to think about it because it was natural and well practiced to them.

I've never done that. It's foreign to me.

I worked with one "friend" to celebrate the other "friend's" birthday. We made a poster, cards, balloons, gifts, etc in the middle of Covid. She didn't say anything to me, but she profusely thanked the other friend. It really felt...deflating. Around me, she acted like nothing happened.

I drew a portrait of a friend's 14yo dog who had passed away (it wasn't a shitty drawing either, I've exhibited art in Yellowstone and Cape Cod). I kept asking her if it showed up, again and again. She said no, it hadn't arrived. THREE MONTHS LATER, I practically begged her to go look at the post office. She picked it up, said, "Thanks!" and we never spoke again.

All of these instances have caused me pain I wasn't allowed to feel or admit to. If I did, my mother said I couldn't complain. "At least people are talking to you! You should be grateful!"

No. That's not how it works.

I am sharing part of myself here. I am expressing appreciation for a friend by making them meaningful gifts, showing interest in their lives, and it is not reciprocated.

That is fucking damaging.

I'm coming to the realization just how big of an impact these instances have had on my self belief. I really struggle to think of myself as a person worthy of...anything. I can't fathom someone showing interest in me in any way because...of this. Because this is my history.

It doesn't have to be my future. I can learn to cultivate better friendships. I can learn that walking away is better than forcing a relationship that is going to cut me down and think less of myself.

But first, I need to recognize that I've had a shitty history and I need to accept that it wasn't fair.

I also need to learn - somehow - that just because people in my past didn't give a shit about me doesn't make me a boring person. Just because they couldn't value me doesn't mean I'm not valuable.

It's hard to type that. And I can't really get myself to believe it yet. But I'll work on it.

[familyofpaladins]

Okay, I need to get this down before the monkie kid season 3 ending/special hits and proves me wrong Okay, so. I've had this theory/idea for how LBD gets defeated since I first watched the show last october. And after watching season 3, and reading the summaries for the specials, I think it could still work Anyway, the idea is It's the final battle. Their plans didnt work. Monkey King has been captured and controlled, and not even the Samadhi fire worked against any of them. Everyone is hurt and barely hanging on. MK, sees his friends in distress and decides to do something absolutely crazy that he has no idea if it'll even work. He gives himself up to LBD. Now whether he gets thrown in "the soup" or he gets turned to stone like he almost did back at the end of season 2. His power (and his soul) get absorbed by LBD. BUT. We get to see this like. Mind-scape place. Idk exactly how itd look, but theres basically a lot of energy/ wispy souls/power of the spider gang and monkey king and MK's own power swirling around like a hurricane. And at the center, confined by ghostly chains, is a little girl. LBD's host. And Mk talks to her. She's obviously scared and frustrated because she cant do anything while the bone spirit is controlling her. Mk tries to comfort her. May or may not succeed very well at it. He tells her that SHE is probably the only one who CAN stop LBD. "Its your body! Your mind! Take control!" "I can't!! I have no powers! Look at me! I'm literally chained here. I cant do this on my own." "You're not alone. I'm here, and I'm going to help you." "But, I can't do this. I'm not... strong or brave enough." "As someone very important to me once said, You just have to believe in yourself. Even a smidge makes all the difference" :) And Mk would literally give her some of his power directly to the host. And we'd literally see them PULL their own powers back to them and break the icy chains, and we'd see the Host literally fight back against the bone spirits. Slowly gaining control. On the outside we'd see MK's friends all freaking out about MK being over taken. And barely keeping themselves out of LBD'S grasp. She's probably monologuing or about to finish them off when, she winces or the attack isnt as powerful as she thought. Monkie crew is all ??? As she suddenly seems to be fighting with herself, eyes going back and forth between glowing blue or not (or glowing orange/gold from MK's powers). And eventually she collapses. And when she gets back up again... "Did I do it? I think I did it. I DID IT!!!" The host takes back control. The bone spirit is still there, but now the host is in control. No switching to another host this time. And then slowly we'd see everyone returning to normal that was taken by LBD (the spiders, monkey king, ?the mayor?? , and eventually mk) Mk obviously gets squashed in a hug by everyone for being so reckless. Anyway yeah that's the gist of it. I just really like the idea of "misdirection" of mk surrendering and making LBD think she'd won, when really he was bringing her downfall from the inside out. Also really like the idea of Mk repeating the line about believing in yourself to the host. :) And, I don't know how they truly plan to get rid of the bone spirit, so I think the host having control of it, would be neat

[emmashouldbewriting]

Re optics, what are your specific thoughts and suggestions? Even as a public servant she nor others are owned by their public, and I hope your line of critique extends further afield to include other significant public figures both royal and political, it’s worth remembering the global stage royal houses are on too, what precisely in your opinion is the way to go forward? You’re very observant and critically discuss your thoughts which is valued so please don’t take this as a personal attack but more of a desire to understand your perspective, and if you’re coming from a place of experience when it comes to public appearance, optics, and advocacy. You have a lot to say and I’m interested!

I hope your line of critique extends further afield to include other significant public figures both royal and political

It does. Rest assured that if Sophie or Camilla stepped out in two new extremely similar coats in extremely similar shades within weeks of each other, I would absolutely have something to say on it. I'd also complain about politicians but privately, as I don't have the energy for that on the internet lmao

So the optics of the coats, for me, is the time frame, for the most part. She debuted a long, green, McQueen coat in Boston. Two months ago. She then had a rewear of one at Sandringham, so six weeks ago. Then today she brings out a third green McQueen coat that's also brand new and isn't drastically different from that one. We barely saw the Boston coat, and she's worn clothing from that trip since then and on more than one occasion, so I feel like that coat could have been utilised for yesterday's engagements.

If she's debuting clothing abroad that can work for home engagements, like the Boston McQueen coat, there's no reason that couldn't be worn yesterday. She'd never worn it in the UK, so it's still "new." That or she could have reworn a previous McQueen given that she was there for Earthshot and they're big on sustainable fashion. With the situation considered, though, it was a big event on a big stage and from that point of view, appropriate for it.

Nobody outside of royal watchers cares that she's going to a market in Leeds. Brits don't even care.

It's really just thinking about things clearly. "Have I bought or worn a new item similar to this in the past few weeks? If yes, is there enough of a shade/design difference to warrant wearing this new piece so close to that? If no, we need to consider either: a coat that hasn't been worn for at least a few months or a different new coat for this engagement and put this samey new green one away for a later date."

Also, it's a coat. People wear the same one for ten years. I haven't bought a new coat in 4 or 5 years. Nobody cares if she's wearing a coat for the fourth time in 18 months. Heck, most Brits don't care what she wears at all! But people are going to start caring if she's consistently spending thousands on a new coat every other week, because as much as the media point out that she's "recycled" something, they also point out how much she's spent on her outfit. All it takes is a media outlet to pick up how many samey outfits and items she has and people will take notice.

I'd like her to do more with what she has, and we know she's not shy about rewearing her clothes which is why it's so frustrating. She has some great staples in her wardrobe that she clearly knows how to utilise, and her favourite coats should be some of them. Pair them with new dresses and new blouses for the every day engagements instead.