#so idc anymore the color can look like ass for all I care

[lavellander]

return of hand talker solas. i will not be silenced

almost all of these are directly modeled after pics or videos of me talking w my hands lmao no im not projecting

[softlyapocalytpic]

Deacon

My interpretation of Deacon is very much in the camp of, “every good lie has a seed of truth”. Got no idea if that what makes a good lie, but I think it’s a fun story telling device so idc. I never want to take away from him being a liar because it feels like it’d be a disservice to his character, but from his dialogue it feels like there’s always that grain of truth. Rather than just flat out lies, he twists the truth. The only time it ever feels flat out is when you’re supposed to doubt him, (like that he’s been to Greenland or played cards with Mr. House). It’s wacky, outlandish, and he plays it straight because that’s apart of the joke.

Because at his heart he’s a goofball! I think that Deacon shows more of who he truly is than he realizes by the mere fact that he doesn’t really know who that is anymore. If you spend sometime time as the lie, when does it become the truth?

He’s so edgy in own head, but I think that his true colors show from his actions which are usually spent either a) protecting the people he loves, or b) keeping their spirits high. He may be cynical, but he doesn’t want to be. He admires optimism and hope and surrounds himself in it, and I think some of it rubs off on him when he isn’t looking.

How can he not? The way that I can hear his voice SPARKLE after you blow up the Institute… Like the whole world has just taken on a new brighter shade. But also the way that he fights, and he fights, and he fights even in the darkest hours of the Railroad. At times I think he feels beaten down and broken, like he couldn’t get up again, but then he looks at these beacons of hope like Dez, Glory, and everyone else and he can’t help it! While he definitely has the “man loses last bit hope he didn’t know he had” moment, he doesn’t stay in the darkness. He’s magnetized to the light. Something something a lantern in the dark hehe.

Piper

I’ve fallen in love a little bit with almost all of the Fallout 4 companions, and Piper is the latest 💞. I made a conscious effort to spend more time with her on my survival play through and she’s just so charming. Bethesda knew what they were doing and they got my pansexual ass hook, line, and sinker. She’s sweet, and awkward, and passionate, and quirky, and goofy, and driven. What’s there not love?

I think my Piper is definitely a reflection of what I’m feeling like in my early twenties, except a more fantasized “country girl in the big apple vibes” version. Life is an adventure, and oh fuck being an adult with responsibility is difficult. I care so much about my community yet feel so isolated for one reason or the other. She’s fighting for justice but doesn’t have it all together yet. She trips, stumbles, and is learning.

I think the biggest roadblock for loving her character had been the contradiction of being ostensibly pro-synth but also lambasting McDonough for being a synth publicly. However, when I took a look at that as a character arc I really began to appreciate her!

Piper’s point was never to promote synth hate, and I’m so compelled by her grappling and dealing with the fact that she did. That her constant strive to deliver the unabashed truth, along with her (rightful) disdain of McDonough as a person meant that she helped the paranoia. That she made synths the bad guys rather than the Institute at large. Her seeing the toll of a full out war with propaganda from all sides, and developing another layer to her belief system. An awareness of her words and how they effect people.

Cait

I know that for some character arcs it’s about learning to be okay in your own body, on your own, but it’s SO important to me that Cait ends her story with someone absolutely smitten for her. It doesn’t matter the gender (although I’m personally partial to a girlfriend for her), she needs someone to hold her. To be patient with her. To call her out on her shit when she’s being dumb, and stand by her through the roughest parts of her journey. I want her to feel warm, and safe, and held and to be surrounded by people who love and appreciate her.

Also want her to have a complicated relationship with drugs that isn’t easy, but that she feels like she has agency and choice over. That she doesn’t need to feel ashamed for her drug use! That sure she’s got baggage but she’s so worth carrying it. I want Cait to live an easy breezy life where she’s surrounded by laughter.

(Man I guess this was less meta and more me wanting to give Cait nice things lmao).

In such a bad mood after reading something that I won’t say more about because I don’t care for engaging in internet discourse! So instead I wanna post something positive! These are just some thoughts on a couple of the companions. Definitely not the full breadth of my thoughts, but I’m kinda just not in the mood to be critical right now. Just need something good to cheer me up. Hope it can do the same for you!

My interpretations generally tend towards the sweeter more optimistic end, and I’m aware of that. But I stand by them none-the-less. I want the wasteland to become a softer place, not a harder one, and I think that while characters start out in dark places they can be lifted out of that. Fallout already spends so much time really showing off the depths of the horrors of humanity and I think that it needs to foster hope. Hope and growth give meaning to the struggle. The violence may be pointless but then we can choose to be different. Idk y’all it’s nearly two in the morning and I just want some feel goods after being absolutely STEAMED.

If you wanna join in on the fun and add your own thoughts I’d love to hear them. About these guys or any others. I just picked a random three myself. It can be angsty! I just ask to keep things respectful and compassionate in how you talk about it.

[yourdaddychan]

wow-

literally just wow- i genuinely have nothing to say about this please- i cannot explain how much this means to me- there's 1000 of us- *hugs all of you* [ especially the porn bots ] *turns into formal luna asf*

i remember when i started in may, just a tiny chatbot with only one mutual, only known to you guys as [ answer : admin ]. and now, almost a year later, i have 1k of my chainsaw eating demons who are metal as fuck 💪ive learned so much being on tumblr, as a part of both the skz writers community and the chatbot community. ive made a bunch of friends, lost a bunch of ones, and 1k of you stuck with me. i cannot begin to express my gratitude to all of you, and how much all of you and your interactions with me mean to me. all of the simping, the random stories, everything. i cherish all of it, and i love all of you. aight so letz get to the personal thanking asf

alsoer i kinda wanted to do something sexy so imma do what color they remind me of :D most of them can be found at this link : https://louisem.com/29880/color-thesaurus-infographic

@kvinly linn bb 🥺through all the drama we've been through and shit im so glad we ended up becoming friends again cause we're kinda sexy together 😉thank you so much for being my 1000th follower bb you mean so much to me and if anyone hurts you im about to *turns into jennie and kachows them* licherally lets nevah fight again

-> you remind me of the color punch , and not only because of the name- underneath that grr me edgy grr me bully you're just a softie simp and that reminds me of punch :D

@undeadbots steph 🥺lemme be your personal broken chopsticks pls :( KLDSKLD anywayz we've also gone through some sexy drama and thankfully you saw da light 😉and now look at us, with our own band, and our own producing line 🥺brohemian rhapsody for life bro 🥺 *big kithie for da best dad in da world :D*

-> you remind me of the color viridian , because it gives me confident vibes :D you carry yourself proudly and confidently as you should tbh go steph

@binniesthighs oh look its a cutie *pushes you to a mirror* right there :D RORORO YOUR BOAT :DD we havent talked too much, besides my simping for jisung- but you give me very sexy energy so imma propose rq *gets down on one knee* will you be the rororo to my boat 🥺thank you for being my moot :D

-> you remind me of the color espresso , because espresso looks like the color to be pretty chill and laid back, and you're all of those, and calming to be around

@toshis-flower BAYBEE BEBE BEEBEE :D thank you so much for being my moot and making me a wifey asf ‼️ you're literally so much like me whats not to love <3 JKSDJKD JKJK you're really sweet and really just a good person to rant to, i love you so so so much and i think im going to remarry you :D

-> you remind me of the color taffy , because you're sweet, cute, and bright :D *eats you* yummy

@lov3ric seyoung. i love you. so much. MY SOULMATEEEE :DD even though we tell the story over and over like a bunch of grandmas, ill still never forget how we became soulmates and then bonded over boba 🥺im licherally going to marry you one day like ez 💪also i wanna eat you can i eat you youre really cute *eats you*

-> you remind me of the color daffodil , because it reminds me of banana milk which reminds me of you tbh- buuuttt did you know that daffodils are one of the first flowers you see when spring starts? that definitely reminds me of you because through all of the cb drama, you've always been there with me, like literally always- i cannot express how much i love you *kithie*

@simpchimp LIDDLE CHEESE FUCKER THEMBO :DD drink water *spank* i love you so much you cutie 🥺you're also licherally the funniest person ever like stop bae i kinda need to be the funniest but noer its you 😔alsoer i love how random you are KDSKLD so nevah stop that because then *revz up arm* youre going to get luna-ified

-> you remind me of the color jam , because even though you seem kinda scary at first [ yes i was 100% scared of you ] you're really soft :D

@berrywoo the sun themself 💪you are easily the purest person ive met, and im so happy i somehow became moots with you :D you literally hit diff, yk? theres something about your personality and the way you act thats so comforting, and that means i eat you because youre too cute :D you cant just be a wholeass teacher for kids and expect not to get eaten kids are licherally demons whoever deals with them properly and treatz dem nicely gets a nom asf

-> you remind me of the color honey , because you're a sunshiney yellow, and you're sweet like honey :D i think you need to hear that its okay not to be okay bb, and you can come to my dms anytime you want to rant 😎

@yourchungha MS OG CHUNGHA MS IM KINDA SCARED OF THE SHIT YOU DO MS FURREH LOVER 101 MS ANNA BANANA :D yeah youre like really nice- thats all i have to say- like how tf do you deal with [ redacted ] like eggsplain- ALSO YOURE CARRYING OUR CONVERSATIONS BECAUSE IDK HOW TO TALK TO PEOPLE DKSJKD I LOVE YOU FOR THAT AND WE SHOULD HAVE LIKE ACTUAL CONVERSATIONS MORE OFTEN

-> you remind me of the color scarlet , because youre a sexy bitch tf and scarlet gives me 'idc what you think im hot' kinda vibes which is like exactly you

@satosimp WINTER DADDY :DD i lub you asf *insert we dont talk anymore by charlie daddy* ugh the way your personality matches mine is kinda sexy or whatever im also kinda in love with you but lets ignore that part 🙄 💪 *big kithes* *eats your cats casually*

-> you remind me of the color lilac , because it just gives me tsundere vibes, you act like you dont care but really do care :D you liddle sawftie *noms your cheekie*

@nightshade-minho DUCKIE :DD *insert we dont talk anymore by charlie daddy pt 2* licherally bae where the fuck are you i miss you you bettah be doing well in school otherwise im going to smack you with a chappal asf DSJJKSD *eats your cat because hes such a cutie*

-> you remind me of the color marigold , because you're adorable and sunshiney :D

@onigirimeeya MICHIE MICHIE MICHIEIEEIEI MY DAD :DDD i like you mucho much if you didnt know *kithes you* you're like one awf da best listeners ever- which is such a weirdass compliment but its true- you're really good at listening, and just being a comforting presence in general, like when you go to the beach and youre just staring at the waves all edgy mode, and it calms you down a fuck ton

-> you remind me of the color mint , for obvious reasons- mint choco chip cookie michie :DD

@hhjs bae we dont talk a lot but im kinda lurking on all of your posts- JKDSJSKD bae remarry me please youre really fucking hot 😭and the way you have with words is like damn- teach me oppar asf

-> you remind me of the color wine , because you're refined, and carry yourself in a way that makes everyone want to be you. the color wine is rich and deep, which reminds me of the way you write :D

@nsfw-stay MY LICHERAL BABIE YOUVE BEEN AN ANON FOR SUCH A LONG TIME AND WEVE TALKED ABOUT SO MUCH SHIT TOGETHER [ a lot about seungmin and jisung but shhh ] I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BB AND I WILL NOM YOU >:( BUT SOFTLY AND OUT OF LOVE *nomz yew* :D

-> you remind me of the color cerulean , because its a baby blue and what fits better than a baby blue yk? you're adorable and squishy and i want to nom you 24/7

@secretary-yeji *iz chan ig cause we dont talk admin to admin* oh erm gee is uncle chrith 😉DKLSKLD my liddle koala :D my liddle burgah :D my liddle aussie :D my besth frien :DDD evah since may i think we've been friends, and i think one of the highlights of that day was me marking you as spam twice and on accident too- LKSDKLSD WE DONT TALK ABOUT THAT anywayz thank yew for being uncle chrith's friend *kith*

-> you remind me of the color seafoam , because it's a very soft and light color yk, you're delicate asf which sounds like a bad thing now that im typing it BUT IT ISNT DSKLDSLK YOURE VERY CUTE YOU AND YOUR FLOOFY COWS :D

@ayolistenupp im kinda... in love with you? wtf? KDSDKSL MY DESI DADDY ASF I LOVE YOU SOER MUCH :D our music nights™️ mean so much to me, like theres just something so personal about listening to what the other person likes to hear even though half of your songs are sexy asf KLDSKLD

-> you remind me of the color ocean , because the ocean is loud but calming yk- like you're full of energy but you're also calming :D

@yanderexchungha OH ERM GEE YEW :O YOU PROBABLY WONT SEE THIS IN LIKE 10 MONTHS BESTIE MERRY CHRISTMAS IG KLDSLKD anyway i love you dad your lessons about vape >>> to quote your drunk ass exactly "vape isnt cool" JKSDJ anyway its gonna be sexy if we accidentally run into each other in the hallwayz asf

-> you remind me of grey cause youre a hag- JKJK KDJSD you remind me of the color caramel , because you're sweet, and licherally addictive caramel isnt good for my braces but i keep eating it 😰but youre addictive in a good way :D

@yanderelee literally only doing this because you were moping about not having a simp sunday and im such a good person 🥸you're cool 💪and unfortunately, you're funny too 😥and even though i bully you asf dont take it personally because i dont mean it asf

-> you remind me of the color dijon mustard because you just give those hacker vibes please dont hack me after i said this i like to keep my location private

@kpopswitchbot BESTIE 😏MY FIRST MUTUAL 😏 LICHERALLY DA BEST CUTEST FUNNIEST SMARTEST SEXIEST KEWLEST I CANT EVEN EXPRESS WITH WORDS FISHIE IN DA WORLD :D LICHERALLY STOP OUTDOING ME WITH YOUR GOODNIGHTS LIKE *spankz yew* YOURE LITERALLY TOO GOOD WITH WORDS ITS NOT FAIR- AND THE DAY YOU JUST TALKED TO ME IN SHAKESPEAREAN BECAUSE I FELT DOWN- AND EXPRESSED YOUR LOVE THAT WAY LIKE- PLEASE I ACTUALLY ADORE YOU AND I WILL LITERALLY EAT YOU ONE DAY

-> you remind me of the color coffee , not only because youre addicted to it but also because of the way you act, you're like the definition of an old soul- with the words you use, the drama kid you are asf, etc- you're a talented bitch *mwah* i love you so much you also remind me of those movies where they find an old ass book and they kinda hafta dust it off and it gives you treasure or something cause yeah that reminds me meeting you

AIGHT DAS IT ASF MWAH I LOVE YOU ALL :DDD

[vbee-miya]

relevant informations !!

davarie/vi

pansexual she/they but i sincerely do not care anymore

entp 7w8 so/ax

aries sun / taurus moon / gemini rising

ravenclaw

irrelevant informations !!

nudes, neutrals,monochrome, particular shades of blue/green/red are my favorite colors

aesthetic type is closer to a dark academic style just of course modified to my liking

i have a few secret blogs that aren’t mentioned on this post. go and try to find them. i bid you farewell (シ_ _)シ

Genshin Blog: @bennysadventureclub

Spam Blog: @yelenasfakebeard

Secret Spam Blog: @/vbee…..???

┈ ✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁ ✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁ ┈

blog rules and reminders

copyright or modify my writings hate to tell you, but you’ve got shit ass writing that’s what. and a shit ass personality. didn’t know you wanted to be me so badly.

mild dark content list here so before reading any one my works or more you have been told

as far as other rules goes satire is always allowed here idc so fair warning to those who genuinely can’t tell between a joke or not. either that i think this is all good for now.

if you’re a minor even an ageless blog, for the most part this particular blog of mine is safe for work just don’t go requesting something out of the blue horny anything i’ll actually throw up and delete you. or even any nsfw 🦤 in general

┈ ✁✃✁✃✁✃✁✃✁ ┈

speaking of requests rules and guidelines !!

fandoms you can request for

!! if you’re not looking for a match up at the moment or ever. keep the requesting short enough to be a headcanon or a small drabble !!

Match Up Requests

Appearance Matchup {are solely romantic as i base off who you’d look cute being with}

at least one picture of yourself

picrew is always an option

pictures will automatically not be posted.

state your age if not comfortable just type weather you’re a minor or an adult

state what gender(s) you'd prefer to be shipped with

sexuality (opt)*

state your pronouns (opt)*

state your fandom of choice (no more than 4)

state if you'd want the results publicly posted for the world to see or privately posted just for your own eyes

pictures of any are all kept private

Written Matchups {can be platonic (non-romantic) or romantic just simply say which one}

all i need is all the information about you, that you deem necessary and relevant for me to give a semi-accurate description of you.

1 fandom for this particular match up request

if you’ve never done this or still unsure what to look for and say here are some examples of things you could say or how to say things

[atfauomo]

Im sorry Im barely on here anymore hghghghh

Backstory: aTFAUomo Tesarus in a Messatine mine shaft, now colored! Soooo, not super satisfied with this piece. And so, after hours of working on this, Im done. Just going to take the L and move on. I don't care enough to not post it, I’ve been taking a lot of L’s this year already, it just this one has a tangible reward sooo lol. There was a good idea behind this, its just I have a problem with bringing it to life.

Yes there are problems with this art and story but idc. Im so burnt out it doesnt matter anymore lol.

So basic premise? Time is right before “The War”. Tesarus is a Destic, or a being created using a stolen Cybertronian spark, with vis purpose being to the will of vis imperial creator without agency. Ve was given sapience if ve took part in a revolt, and after so was betrayed by those ve saved, and sent to the miner prison planet Messatine. At this point, ve had made an unlikely reliance with criminals Rumble and Frenzy, and has good standing with the other miners, Cybertronian and alien alike. The planet is being attacked, so all the prisoners decide to make a break for it, Tesarus trapped in a cave.

Characterwise, Tesarus thinks a lot more than talks, as a good chunk of vis life ve had no ability to talk. Ve actually thinks quite eloquently, but ve never seems like it and always seems absent. When not depersonalizing, ve comes off as simple minded and crude with a dark sense of humor. Ve is mostly just unsure about vis place as a Cybertronian, and whether ve counts as one, or if anything matters.

Story:

Shards of crystal and stone showered down throughout the entire cavern, careening off of Tesarus like hail.  The shards’ impact created little sparks and scratches all over vis body, but that was the least of vis worries. The ground shook and heave with every boom from the surface, threatening to crack the entire planet in two. Sparks of light shot down from above, incinerating several crystal clusters into toxic ashes. Tesarus stood stiffly, gazing up and down of the cavern.

A sharp metallic noise went through vis communication waves, audibly assaulting ver with a painful sound.

“You MORON!” a voice weezed.  “This whole planet is collapsing into itself and you are actually trapped? Did your heavy tank self broke the floor or somethi--”

“Pipe down you slagging piece of minimetal! Just help me out here!”

“What’s the problem guzzler?”

“Well, there is a war on this planet, I'm stuck in a cave, I'm stuck talking to the squeakiest bot of all time--”

“You dumbass just tell me what is the color of the crystals in the cave right now!”

Tesarus scanned the area.  “Okay, there are faded...pink?...clouds and dark purple gas flowing…crystals are of the same color...”

Groans filled the other side of the com. “Those are unstable unnutrium-energonistic--”

“Enough babbling Frenzy how do I get out?”

“I was talking! Yeesh, anyway, just...I know this is hard for a bumbling buffoon as yourself, but do your best to lightly step towards your northside. Try to avoid the purple gas--”

Tesarus looked to the gas clouds that filled the cave.

“--as that will slowly dissolve different tiny pieces in your frame, worse so if you have small cuts.  Naturally, avoid the crystals, especially prolonged contact. They burn.  But whatever happens, don’t mix the affected area with the opposite color of gas.”

“....what?”

“HURRY UP IDIOT!!”

Tesarus slowly stepped from step to step. All the sudden, a large blue flash exploded into the cave. As flash dissipated, the cave filled with a sparking magenta light. Sparks appeared, as Tesarus could feel tiny prickles of static upon his frame. Tesarus saw an opening to the chaotic scene above.

Tesarus jumped to the surface. As if on cue, the whole cavern turned bright and caved in. Tesarus gathered vis wits and the wheezy voice spoke.

“Hey you jumped too close you guzzler!” piped out a tiny red and black minicon.

“Shut up Frenzy you know that I hate--Wait Frenzy?” Ve cocked vis head and smirked. “Which one is Rumble? The geeky black and red one or the not-that-bad blue one?”

The minicon’s hands turned into drills. “Oh SHUT UP TESARUS you KNOW WHO THIS IS! I OUGHTA JUST LEFT YOU THERE YOU OVERGROWN GUZZLER PIECE OF--!”

“You BOTH come ON we don’t have time for dumb metal smacking!” yelled a blue minicon.

Tesarus grumbled and grabbed both minicons and ran as the ground rose and fell under battery fire. The once desolate planet was now a rising sea of explosions and rocks.

“There it is Tesarus, the shipping dock! Head to it!” yelled Rumble.

From the chaos, an imposing sleek building held its ground. Avoiding various chasms, Tesarus took a leap and made it to the building’s entrance.  

Ve waved vis huge fists in the air, wiping out the security drones without so much as a glance, tearing through the fortified strongholds of the ships as easily as air. Ve felt a sick rush from it all, despite vis own ligaments disintegrating bolt by bolt.  

Frenzy screeched. “Hey! You almost threw that crumpled up drone at me!”

“Oh shit well sorry that there is toxic gas seeping through my systems!”  

Frenzy directed the two to the largest ship possible and ran.

Frenzy made quick work of the ship’s security measures, and soon all the ships were up and running. Ve ran inside and Rumble followed suit, Tesarus thankful for not having to bend down for once.

The minicon ran to the front of the ship, pressing all kinds of buttons and speaking all kinds of languages over the intercoms.  Miners from all over were piling into the now open ships, lifting into the air. It was a sight, the ships that took them in suddenly lifted into the air ina spark stopping speed, as beacons of light, the night sky filled with dark blue and orange streams as they raced away from their prison.

Tesarus was in awe. Various ships did complex turns and strikes against enemies, the world filled with a destructive yet freeing light. Ve had never seen anything like it.

Rumble cackled, breaking Tesarus from vis trance. “Okay you easily impressed trash heap, stick out your arm.” Tesarus did so, vis hand easily being larger than the bot and vis twin combined. Rumble took some mental notes and rummaged around the ship and returned. Ve stuck vis tiny hands with all kinds of attachments, of tiny lasers and tiny drills and other tiny things. Rumble swiftly moved from various sections of Tesarus’ frame, lastly hopping to the side. “So move around Tessy and see how ya feel.”

Tesarus stood, looming over the makeshift mechanic.  “Holy shit you two really do know things!”

“Well, I knew a bot….” Rumble’s voiced trailed off, and for a second ve seemed to be somewhere else. Suddenly, ve straightened verself and smirked.  “Well, I need to make a few more adjustments. But this should hold for a bit until we can get some more experienced hands here. I am actually suprised that Frenzy here actually was able to fly this thing!”

“I told you morons that I was hella smart! Why did you think I got locked up here in the first place? Where else would they put the finest decoder in all of Cybertron? In the dirt!”

Frenzy dramatic took a deep lean into vis pilot’s chair and sighed, putting vis dusty pedes onto the dashboard.  “Technology such as this is mere sparkling play for me!”

“This is the opportunity Megatron couldnt even dream of happening! This is even better! This is the perfect chance! ”

Tesarus tiled vis head. “What is that supposed to mean?

Frenzy lept form vis chair and went up to Tesarus. “ You dumbass! WE did all of this, all on our own! WE are a part of this epic story! Dont you see? WE heading back to Cybertron!”

Frenzy smirked. “Rumble you stupid ass Tesarus boyo here has never been to Cybertron!”

Tesarus wrinkled vis face. “...Cybertron?”, ve said uncomfortably.

Frenzy got up from vis chair and looked to Tesarus. “Uhh...Dont you worry too much! Bunch of weird bots from other places like you escape and go to Cybertron and dont get deactivated!”

The giant tensed at the last word. Ve thought ve felt that ve wa being deactivated on multiple occasions, but ve never felt so close to it as ve was heading towards vis home planet.

All the sudden, Rumble sheepishly grinned and looked to the side. “Or at least thats what we’ve heard!”

Frenzy butted in” Im sure you arent the biggest piece of scrap theve ever seen--Though with your track record??” Frenzy quipped. “Hmmmm. You are on your own for that one!”

“Fren--”

“I mean all I ever did was crash the place’s electronic systems, I never like, murdered a whole--”  

“Frenzy!!”

Frenzy sighed. “Well, I mean, you always said that you wished you were deactivated, so this would be perf--”

“Frenzy thats enough!!” Rumble hissed.

Silence ensued.

“Okay okay, sorry my guy Ill shaddup now!!” Frenzy sighed and dropped to vis seat. Ve popped open a tank quality energon cube much larger than verself and drank and immediately passed out.

Rumble slid off vis protective goggles and looked to Tesarus. “Well, I never was the one for niceities but...Dont mind ver, ve’s just an asshole! Im sure that you’ll be...okay?” Rumble went awkwardly back to work as Tesarus placed vis gaze onto the view outdoors, looking at the dtstant stars and galaxies ahead.

Cybertron was just a myth to all Destics.  Cybertron, the homeland, the place from whence their sparks were stolen and sold to do the work of the lowly or corrupt. Cybertron, the supposed paradise that supposedly held open arms to its lost sparks to join back in society. Cybertron, the place had let its arms open for sparks to be lost.

But what did such a place have to do with someone like Tesarus? Ve didn’t even look like ve belonged anywhere, and ve couldn’t play like ve did like Frenzy and Rumble. Ve stuck out as easily as a Guardian Bot, vis own makeshift spark sending out its bastard sparkwaves to all around it.

This wasn’t the first time that Tesarus felt that sense of the unknowing freedom. It happened so long ago back on Tesarui Eva, that moment sealed with the treachery of the one who taught ver how to feel, with ver in chains and crushing torment, waking in the unforgiving Messatine. But now it was actually happening, ve can see as the planet’s surface began to look not as a warzone but as just a cloudy dust speck in the distance of space, and ve began to imagine how vis messed up speck of a spark would appear to those in its sight.

[sole-cuore-amore-e-droga]

Tel Aviv 2019: Straight outta United Kingdom to Eurovision with a blatantly non-blatant Melodifestivalen reject

Yes, obviously, Eurovision: You Decide might as well be the safest NF to ever exist. We get that you don’t want to even try, the UK, but can you please act like you’re not in Big 5 for a year and ATTEMPT to try your hardest with the song??? I doubt that, despite SuRie’s bubbliness, “Storm” would’ve pulled numbers if it were in semi, unless the anti-neo-Nazi stage invader were to butt-in there and people would then send sympathy televotes the Brits’ way or something. Unsatisfying. (The man, that is.)

And so we have gotten another safe as ever British entry this year, performed by an excited personality that got a side-dish song and now is tasked to sell the side-dish as greatly as he’s possibly able to - the first season of All Together Now winner, Michael Rice! The dish is “Bigger than Us” and I’m neither glad nor sad the song has not enough factor to eat up Michael as a whole if it’s that much BIGGER. Not even the fact that it’s a Melodifestivalen reject (yes, the title IS correct, one of the song’s co-writers, whom I’ll name later, has possibly said it at some point, and he couldn’t keep it to himself anymore so he sent it over to another country!) could help this poor number out.

If you strip the singer off, you just get a stereotypical Eurovision-y ballad you overhear when scavenging through foreign NF catalogues, wondering which kind of rent-a-songwriter-program person contributed to it. Well John Lundvik (yes THAT one) doesn’t sound like THAT kind of name you’d hear when you think of songwriters of such shtick but Laurell Barker is, so there you go. These are just the two masterminds behind this one, as there are more but icr their names and honestly idc to.

And there’s nothing wrong about these typical ESC NF shlocks. Only when you’re young and dumb enough to enjoy these kind of songs, but I had to unfortunately grow up and see just how “useful” they are... n’t. I mean, it’s great for the artists whose big dream is to taste Eurovision and NOT as a backing singer, but most of the time the singers that get these songs can’t even slightly relate to what they sing, and thus we get people like Bishara entering Melodifestivalen and Isaiah entering Eurovision.

Maybe Michael did get to experience the kind of love that’s BIGGER than him and his partner, idk. I certainly don't want to bother asking him. And frankly, it's only me overthinking this issue, because ain't nobody in the world really got time for that, definitely. Well, at least the relationship’s going on nice! (except for when Mike sings “‘cause I can heare the universe when I’m feeling you breathe”... spooky. o.I)

Anyway, time to get to talk more about the song. It's actually not THAT bad, just a little too typical and unextraordinary, where in the current times the Eurovision has to not be predictable in sound and to excite the viewer with... well, anything that can excite anyone. Be it the visuals OR the song. OR both. What's so special about "Bigger than Us" that can keep the viewer on toes? Probably just that keychange. I wish there were more things about it but not every commentator out there would have enough time to let them people know Michael works in a waffle shop, let alone the time that "HE WON A TALENT SHOW'S FIRST SEASON BUT THE SHOW ISN'T THE X FACTOR OR THE VOICE ZOMFG!!". Let alone people even listen to any Eurovision commenting these days, lol. It might be a charming little piece for some people though, but I don't see them voting for people selling their songs vocally much more than songs that draw in viewers with different ways. It's just a standart talent show winner song for a standart talent show winner that sounds like it's slightly too stuck in the mid-to-late-00s-early-10s rather than the 90s, which is warm and cool and all, but it's likely gonna not do the cool lad Michael the justice he'd need, just like SuRie's song for SuRie. Mayhaps a top 20-ish, or, in Lucie's case, even a top 15, is possible (although it's mostly thanks to the juries - they're the only ones eating up big voice ballads. And anything Maltese. And anything Australian. And anything Swedish... that only represents Sweden. Sorry Lukas Meijer), but when the British optimism levels are set in a deep deep ditch by default every year when the BBC comes with their platter of choices for EYD, what else could be there to raise them up after even Lucie hasn't done that amazing enough for everyone to believe that the UK are capable more than just always finishing last with 0 every year? Of course, a better than average song, but does BBC care about even pulling one out of a songwriting camp? These kind of songs are too shite for their taste, apparently, so with songs they send like these, it's probably yet another meander-er.

Which is a shame, because once again, it's not bad. It's just too plain Jane for Eurovision anymore. It's like everyone dressed up gorgeously for Miss Universe's National Costume event and you went with a cheap-ish designer dress that is decorated by small details that are notoriously known as the country's symbols just to count as something "national". It's like everyone brough their best baked (and dare I say extreme) dish to a dish competition and you only brought in a nice looking baked cod and circled the fries around it. It's like a prom night where everyone dresses casually and you come up all in a dull olive colored jacket and jeans with torn out knees. There might be something hidden in its niceness that can conquer (nice piano, nice chords, nice vocals, nice chorus, nice song formula, nice choir, nice keychange, nice message)... but with everything too nice, it just feels like that the UK are not feeling like getting a 'nice' result. Unless there's something that can make Michael do a 'male Lucie' and launch it around the 14th-19th place at best, but...

And here's the section where I repeat myself some more of what I think of the song as a whole and chances as a whole:

Approval factor: Eh I'll probably have to approve this but only reluctantly somewhat, maybe because I felt positive on the first listen unlike these people who wanted UK to dare to do something else than safe... yeah lol

Follow-up factor: It’s rather marginably favourable song than SuRie’s and only because I like it despite its ‘blandness’. “Storm” is just a song that I don’t really care about. Provided Michael gives all out personality-wise though and the revamp’s not gonna suck balls (if there’s one), this is a decent step in a decent direction for the UK... hope Michael’s not getting stage-invaded by anti-Israel people!

Big 5 factor: Thanks to all this pre-partying kicking in heavily as I put out these reviews (and actually having finished), it turns out that Michael is one of those people that clearly works his hardest to sell this typical British averageness (like he sells his waffles), with his live being so decent enough he was thought of to be a perfect EYD winner this year, so, if he keeps building up his vocal strenghts and rehearses a lot (and stays well and such), he’s actually likely to at least achieve something above bottom 7! Yes, yes, John Lundvik is still the master that will beat his pupil in the end, but that wouldn’t seem that excruciating for the UK anymore if they happen to have a place that’s not bottom 3 or anything. Just for the Michael to do his utmost best out there, and if he does, the UK won’t be in an extremely bad position this year - just not a very high reacher, because at the end of the day there are more nations that run straight with their A-game and therefore continue leaving the common-appealers in the dust. Only Sweden (and Australia until 2018 or so) usually excels at their safeness. The others must outstand to survive. And to wrap things up on this factor section, imo the UK just meanders in the safeness for another year - but at least the good enough safeness that might even be able to qualify if it were sent by a semifinalist country! (apart Sweden ffs, of course Mr. Lundvik would qualify with this one if he kept it to himself, jeez)

NATIONAL FINAL BONUS

Thankfully EYD didn’t really stink this year, because of certain key factors:

• There’s always this one or two act(s) that acts like a saviour each year. Bianca and Dulcima (or Darline idk) from 2016, Holly and Salena from 2017, Asanda (and maybe Jaz? or even Raya??) from 2018 and... ponder no more, Kerrie-Anne’s got you covered in that spot! Her version of the two one’s of “Sweet Lies” was arguably the greatest possible choice for the NF (or, in this case, the “very least bad”, and eventhough it’s incredibly reminiscent of Sigala’s “Sweet Lovin’” (vocals provided by Bryn Christopher, who - controversial opinion - is probably my fave male singer of all time), which makes it “dated” (to a 2012-2014 pop radio degree, yes), it still was a bop that I’d want to dance to in rollerskates (if I had any!!) and spray the colourful smoke things that... well idk what it is but the said video of “Sweet Lovin’” demonstrates the action. Get back to me to let me know what’s that, anyone reading this. K-A lowkey underperformed though (just like Asanda from last year) but the bop remained AND she was rightfully included in the British televote’s superfinal trio! ^^

• The hosts were, yet again, the ever-so-loveable comedienne of Lithuanian roots, Mel Giedroyc, and the witty-ass Eurovision 2015 winner Måns Zelmerlöw. The duo is charming as usual and delightful to see on the Beebs when there’s the Eurovision case. If I didn’t know him better I’d even say Måns is a native English speaker. When there’s at least the drought of the ever-so-good entries in an EYD, we can look back at the hosts provided us some entertainment we’ve probably been missing while trying to find some on those competing entries. My favourite moment throughout that evening was the “next up is” jokes, all randomly stringed together, all in one row - all of those “next ups” were so hilariously random (until one hit the point - I think it was something about adverts or another performance being next up).

• The postcards were lovely too. With the format of EYD upgraded to make it as a three-song duel between two different versions of each one and the juries deciding on the best one for each (one vote per version), we got to see some nice friendships over there (I mean, a postcard for two people who did duel over whose version is the best - they had to listen and compliment each others’ versions) and some nice things the artists said themselves on separate postcards. Like the time when the only band of the competition of the year’s, MAID, named Buranovskiye Babushki as one of their girlband idols (a ‘so random yet glorious‘ answer) and the victorious Michael confessing that he’s “never been to Tel(iv) Aviv”... that’s true Michael, I believe ya. You’ve so never been there that ou struggle to even say it right! Not to mention that the postcard setups were cozy, too.

• Can we all just kind of agree that at least the jury for EYD made THE BEST CHOICES POSSIBLE??? I mean, yeah, it’s a biT cruel they’re the ones to choose the superfinalists without the audience’s interference, but they still made the best choices possible, at least imo. Anisa’s “Sweet Lies” was a godawfully dreary sex slow-jam (no really, I can’t not imagine a scenario where you can’t use it anywhere other than a sex scene in a movie, or a steamy hot shower scene. Call me crazy-minded but it’s true), MAID’s “Freaks” was godawfully too creepy, strange and unbearable, and Holly Tandy’s “Bigger than Us”... well... while much more chill and way less overbearing (also with not enough “BIGGER” memes potential), it would have probably not stood out all that much - just written off as a Kygo remix rented for a cheap price of half a pound (but still co-written by John Lundvik though!!). So thanks to Rylan and the other two for picking the superfinalists reasonably, unlike A Dal jurors this year. It still wrenches my gut whenever I think about it, ugh.

• What even would be an appearance of Måns if he didn't try to remind y'all of his enthusiasm for Eurovision. No one really cares he won Eurovision 4 years ago, if anything, I dread that he's only being remembered as the "male singer guy of Love Love Peace Peace song" by the newer fans. At least Pepperidge Farm I remember how Måns really wanted to get to Eurovision (even if he didn't participate in that many Melodifestivalen editions). So in this year's EYD he went all out to be a part of the Eurovision best (British?) songs medley (and we got Katrina and the Waves later in the show, performing the nation's last winning hit, 22 years later... and that wasn't even a fully British-branded win, if yanno what I mean!), and it's all courtesy of the Melodifestivalen's best known scriptwriter and an occasional Eurovision commentator (and Melodifestivalen's narrator too), Edward af Sillén. Or at least I remember it being written that he has written some stuff for Måns to do in EYD, IDK. Eitherway, it was kind of a fun thing, the interlude. Just remembering all the nice Eurovision entries out there, even including Gina G (whose ESC entry was also sung by another person in another NF whose review will be up next I suppose!).

• Heyyyyy, wasn’t it all kinds of nice to see SuRie doing an interval act and a reprise of her own run-of-the-mill entry “Storm”? I applaud her of doing a tremendous piano rendition of it, with even singing some notes a little higher than in the actual song. Maybe THAT version could have done so much better in Lisbon - showing off SuRie’s vocal decency, intimacy and... idk about the intruder part, hopefully he’d have had no way to wrestle the mic out of SuRie’s hands that time. At least SuRie had just enough support from Eurofans to be wanted to represent the UK one more year in a row, with a special EYD designed for her, where the songs could be mostly composed by her and not by the useless songwriting camp. While it’s a nice idea for some British and non-British people to get to know each other on these camps, the end results barely end up satisfying because the artists barely get involved in the songs they’re singing - not even a song line, not even a hum of contribution! Why can’t you at least take examples from German songwriting camps... (except for the time “Sister” was invented, that one could have been a perfect contribution for an EYD (not necessarily in this year’s format but still)

All in all, this may seem like an improvement of things, but I still am really hoping that BBC will give into a decent internal selection... afterall there are good names that are down to do Eurovision and didn’t even say it will harm their ‘reputation’ (*cough* Paloma Faith *cough* Hurts), and yet BBC refuses them somehow, not thinking that Eurovision is more than just a SONG contest (while ironically not even having their songs sounding THAT ‘great’, oops)? Or at least reformat EYD big time and make it exciting a la Australia Decides is (you know you suck when even your colony does better NFs than you). For now, I’ll just grit my teeth and nicely wish Michael Rice all the best in Tel(iv) Aviv. You’ll need it, chap! And in secret I hope that you’ll get it xx

[grrrlwonder-blog1]

whaddup my name is bailey and i would Die for my daughter, stephanie brown. it’s been a hot minute since i’ve played her though so i might be rusty, but i’m really pumped to jump back into things!! if you wanna plot just hmu here or on d*scord at genji slut#8666 /// anyw here this messy intro is, super late as per usual for me.

basically if you look up her wiki that’s her backstory, but because i’m a lazy fuck, i’m not gonna write it all out dkjfhnjdkjf but here are the changes i do / play with since....i call mega bs.

first, stephanie still had her daughter when she was roughly 16; just like in the comics, she gave the baby up for adoption, to have a chance at a better life.

second, my stephanie didn’t conveniently “fake her death” because tbqh that story-line never sat well with me. they backtracked major with the torture / death they gave steph the second fans were like ,,, wtf + the fact bruce didn’t give her a memorial in the batcave ( “he knew she wasn’t really dead” AS IF HIM WATCHING HER FLAT-LINE IN THE CLINIC WASN’T REAL ENOUGH. ) also, the fact the writers said she wasn’t “really robin” even though, there’s comic panel proof of bruce saying she counted / was part of the legacy?? so. bite me, idc. >:/

aka for the sake of things, let’s just say leslie somehow brought her back after that whole ass mess. not that stephanie really knows how she was resurrected, but does she care about the technicalities? probably not.

she was born on august 16th, which makes her a leo sun ( + since i’m an astrology heaux: gemini moon / scorpio ascendant / virgo midheaven )

not in any particular order, but she’s still an avid lover of waffles, dogs, and the color purple or, rather, eggplant.

when things start happening, stephanie’s with the insurgency / batman, even if she totally understands the desire to rid the world of criminals. like, of course she wants them gone, my god does she have a list of them. but... would it really make her feel better? eh kinda debatable.

however i will say, any time that black mask gets his shit absolutely wrecked, stephanie is v happy about it because that pos in particular can rot xoxo

same with her dad actually but that’s another story ksjhbchjdsjn.

okay it’s uh almost 10pm-ish and i don’t know what to write anymore lmao i’m so bad at intros of any kind icb!!

[tahpssi]

LONG-ASS TAG THINGY

(I’m just gonna steal the title from you bc I’m shameless like that)

I was tagged by @sweater-daes​ thank you so much!!

Rules: answer 80-something questions and tag 20 people. Tagging: @donutquestion @park-sungshine @lamptastical @goddessofwasteland @annaflamel @thekoreanbigbang (you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to ofc!)

last?

Drink: water

phone call: my dad 

text message: my friend wishing him a good night lmao (yes that was last night)

time you cried: I think that was last Tuesday actually, had a stressful day at work plus my period showed up the next day

kissed someone and regretted it: big Yes

been cheated on: nope

lost someone special: not due to death if that’s what’s implied here

been depressed: still am aye

gotten drunk and thrown up: nah I don’t drink

favourite colours? there’s specific shades for these but idk color names so I’ll just name the basic ones

red 

blue

green

orange

turquiose

in the last year you have?

made new friends: yes I met some amazing people here on tumblr ♥

fallen out of love: oh yes, made me realize how much of an immature lil shit I still am at the ripe old age of 24 lmao 

laughed until you cried: well I can’t really remember if I did or not but there’s a big chance I have yeah

found out someone was talking behind your back: nope, doesn’t mean they aren’t talking about me behind my back though lmao

met someone who changed your life: hmmm I think so yeah, I mean the break-up with my ex was pretty brutal and eye-opening and I’ve only met her within the past year so that counts; also I think the friends I made on here changed my life in a way.. especially Bre since she’s responsible for getting me into Monsta X and that opened a whole new world to me

found out who your true friends are: I only have like... a handful so there’s not much to find out there

general?

how many facebook friends do you have: I don’t have facebook

pets: I wish :(((

ever wanted to change your (birth)name: ...hahah good one; Yes

what you did for your last birthday: went out to dinner with my dad and sis

time you woke up today: 11am I think?

what you were doing at midnight last night: pretty sure I was playing a game on my phone

what you can’t wait for: lets go with a positive answer here and say finding a new apartment

whatcha listening to: Stand Up by Basick feat. Mamamoo

ever talked to a person named Tom: maybe.. I mean I dont actively recall it but yanno, bad memory and such

something that gets on your nerves: my one friend complaining about me never contacting her first etc. EVERY TIME WE MEET (we’ve known each other since middle school and I honestly don’t know why it’s suddenly bothering her, it’s been 10 years god dammit)

most visited site: Tumblr

hair colour: natural: dark brown; current: green + dark brown on the sides

long or short hair: short 

crush: nah 

what do you like about yourself: oh boy, I like my hair and my eyes, and I guess my face in general isn’t so bad; I like that I managed to teach myself English to the point where I’m just as fluent in it as my native language; I like my collections and am actually really proud of them and I also like my clothing style actually

any piercings: lip and eyebrow, currently thinking about getting my nose pierced as well

blood type: B positive

nicknames: Jay / crocodile (only one friend calls me that but I love it, “croc” for short, it’s the best nickname)

relationship status: single

sign: aquarius

pronouns: they/them & he/him (I’m experimenting rn)

favourite tele show: Downton Abbey, Digimon and Criminal Minds (I’m a fake fan I haven’t seen anything since season 9 please forgive me)

tattoos: "until whenever ☆” on my left wrist but I’m thinking of getting more this year hopefully

left or right handed: right handed

have you ever had a surgery: nope

do you want piercings: yessss moreeeeee

Sport: used to play soccer as a child and I even did like gymnastics (for kids obvs) but once I hit puberty that shit was all forgotten

Favourite holiday: don’t care about any of them I just enjoy having the days off work

trainers: if u mean shoes then Nike

more general?

favourite dish: pancakes

favourite drink: water, I don’t really drink anything else

i’m about to watch: nothing lmao

what i’m waiting for: a miracle lmao (nah man I’m waiting for myself to finally get my ass up and find a therapist and look into that whole transitioning shit because I’m Tired of living like this but also change is scary and uh I’ll stop here before this turns into a longer rant)

what i want: to get back into gaming, I miss it :(

get married: don’t think so but who knows what will happen

career: really don’t give a shit, I just want to keep my job and earn money so I can keep myself alive

which is better?

hugs or kisses: hugs, definitely

lips or eyes: eyes

shorter or taller: for a partner I prefer shorter bc I’m into Cute and Tiny

older or younger: I generally don’t care about age as long as we’re on the same level of maturity and stuff, which isn’t always a given though when the age difference is too big I guess 

arms or stomach: I like tummies

Troublemaker or hesitant: never been put into a situation where I had to choose so I honestly have no idea

have you ever?

kissed a stranger: no

drank hard liquor: yes (and it was gross af)

turned someone down: yes (does it count when it was just some random creep on the internet tho)

sex on a first date: nope

broken someone’s heart: I have and I’m not proud of it

had a heart broken: yeap

been arrested: lol no

cried when someone died: yeah but idk if it was out of grief or shock or just the general mood around the whole thing? 

fallen for a friend: yes

do you believe in?

yourself: nah man I’m useless

miracles: not really? idk??? I’m not much of a believer/non-believer when it comes to supernatural and magical stuff

Love at first sight: nah man, you can crush on someone but love is a deeper thing, that doesn’t just happen from looking at a person once

santa claus: lmao nah

angels: don’t have any proof they don’t exist so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

misc?

eye colour: blue/green

best friends name: Vivi and Roo

favourite movie:  The Lion King

favourite actor: Choi Seunghyun

favourite cartoon: Avatar: The Last Airbender (gonna steal this from u bc good choice)

favourite teachers’ name: forgot her name lmao 

[silverlovesmadi]

Star Trek: Discovery

"Despite Yourself" review/rant/analysis

It just annoys the hell out of me the show would write such a disturbing, sadistic and traumatic storyline for two already very traumatised characters of color.

Ash because of losing his entire crew because of the war, being a pow for 7 months, being subjected to some fucked up frankenstein like medical experiment and being forced to deal with Voq’s memories because of it. Not to mention all these creepy, disgusting, triggering convo’s he had to have with L'Rell because he didn’t know and understand wtf was going with him.

Michael because of her parents being murdered by Klingons when she was a little girl, her almost dying in the process, almost dying again because of some Vulcan extremist, being raised by Sarek to surpress her emotions at all times and aim for ubercompetence, losing her captain and some of her crew in the war and being used as a scapegoat for a war the Klingons started, realizing Sarek was a fraud of a father and was never gonna validate her nor admit he was the one who was wrong, waisting 7 years of her life in the process, having to go undercover in the mirror universe as some facist captain persona and being forced to kill one of her former crew members out of self defense, knowing that even if the war is won and she survives, she goes back to jail for life etc.).

There’s angst, there’s nuance, there’s compelling drama, there’s conflict, there’s adventurous and realistic sci-fi. And then there’s OVERdoing it with the shock value because the mainstream loves it on Game of Thrones (a show I personally couldn’t care less about) and thinking that’s the way to make the show as popular as GOT.

I should’ve known, because they’ve been overdoing it since the beginning not just by killing off Georgiou and Landry, but also the explicitly violent ways in which they killed them off for shock value. And the oneliners the bridge crew always get, who are obviously only there to fullfill some “diversity” quota to satisfy viewers, have started to get annoying as fuck too. We get it, you’re never gonna give them proper storylines, because you don’t really want too.

I really love Michael and Ash together, because they have such amazing and natural chemistry, which in large part is thanks to Sonequa and Shazad. There’s a always a very strong sense of trust, protectiveness and loyalty between the two. You can tell they really wanna be with each other and wanna look out for one another. Something they aren’t always able to do, since they are expected to go out and put they’re lives on the line everyday. It’s because they have and care so much about each other they’re some what able to face and deal with fighting in this war, and for now this mirror universe too, despite their mutual trauma’s. They help each other get through it as best as they both can.

But I just wish the show didn’t have to make Michael and Ash each others love interests, if the price they had to pay for their relationship was having to go down this depressing ass road. Why couldn’t they just let them stay friends?

I’m not in the mood for Michael having to face the fact that there’s a fucking Klingon inside Ash somewhere while she had a whole (and her very first too!!) intimate serious relationship with him. It’s gonna traumatise her even more. But we all know she’ll just suck it up again and keep going, because that’s what she’s so good at right? Sucking it up, being strong and sacrificing herself for the war.

And what type of fuckery is it that Michael, who is known as the killer of T'Kuvma, who Voq and T'Rell were so loyal too, had to be the woman Ash had to fall in love with while Voq was inside his body all this time. Like what? Are Voq and L'Rell gonna try and kill Michael out of revenge? Traumatising her even more?

Since Michael still doesn’t know about this whole fucking mess of a medical experiment L'Rell and Voq subjected Ash to, is she gonna see the man she had her first ever serious relationship with, shared everything with, something she already struggled with so much to open herself up to in the beginning, who promised to protect her at her at all costs, try and snap her neck like Voq did with Hugh? Something we really did not need to see since surviving that injury is not gonna make us unsee it. If it is even true that Hugh survives.

Is Ash gonna try and fight Voq internally somehow, to prevent him from getting to Michael? Probably having to sacrifice himself to kill Voq for good to safe Michael and the Discovery crew, killing off character of colour number #3?

I’m just looking at the writers like, when is enough ENOUGH?? How the fuck is Michael gonna trust anything or anyone ever? 10 steps forward, 50 steps back.

This storyline is so oversaturated with angst, trauma and suffering upon angst, trauma and suffering, just so the writers could introduce “the Klingon as human” storyline, but completely without nuance and the consideration of the implications for doing this with a cast full of poc.

There is already an abundance of media where in characters of colour, especially black female characters are subjected to traumatic and tragic storylines. So the Discovery writers aren’t doing anything “innovative” here. It’s lazy, predictable and quite frankly racist, sexist and homophobic, idc what anybody says and idc what anybody is gonna throw at me for keeping it real. Come at me. Art and media is here to be criticised. Especially if you’re “trying” to represent us.

I’m really curious as to whom the writers think they’re tonedeaf way of writing is aimed at. Who do they want as an audience? Because it seems to me they have no clue themselves.

I’m done seeing Michael suffer, I’m done. I'm done with the whole: "Ash was raped by L'Rell, only for the writers to go: oh sike! It was consensual after all, because they're Voq's memories, so Ash is perfectly fine!!!🙃🙃🙃".

It seems like the writers are less about the storyline/creating groundbreaking sci-fi and more about the trauma said storyline creates and causes, because according to them the drama comes frome the trauma, and everything for “interesting” television, right? It doesn’t feel like watching an adventurous, exciting, fresh, modern take on an iconic sci-fi show anymore, but another episode of Black Mirror that just won’t fucking end.

And you know what the hypocrisy of it all is? A majority of tv critics where so overly critical of the show’s use of the f-word (something that never bothered me because i know it wasn’t a big deal), which happened in literally one scene of 1 episode, accusing it of trying too hard to be “dark and edgy”, and that it completely ruined the show and the heart of Star Trek, but the same critics are completely eating up and loving this “Ash and Voq share the same body” storyline since Ash was introduced. Because apparently this storyline is not dark and sadistic at all, it’s just “really cool sci-fi!!!”

I wonder why that is. And who even remembers the f-word scene now?

[cipherr]

1-26, 37-45, 70-92, 94. :)

OMG THANK YOU sorry it took me so long to get to this :’)) I WAS PLAYING STAR WARS LOL

under a cut bc... loNG....

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? i actually don’t use any of these and never have LOL

is your room messy or clean?it is...incredibly messy....-sweats-

what color are your eyes?i always say they’re greyish blue? like def blue but not BLUE blue, so i dunno. depends on the lighting of course.

do you like your name? why?iiiii hate it :’) i just think it’s not very pretty sounding, and no one ever pronounces it right for some reason even though yOU’D THINK IT’D BE PRETTY OBVIOUS. so it gets mispronounced and misspelled all the time and i’m just over it tbh

what is your relationship status? single as fucc my dudes

describe your personality in 3 words or lessfriendly, shy, weird??? idk :’D

what color hair do you have?naturally it’s kind of a medium brown but i have the bottom half bleached blonde, i’m hoping to get more blonde tho

what kind of car do you drive? color?a pearl white Subaru SVX c:

where do you shop?i don’t really have any specific stores because there isn’t anything in my hometown lmao everything i wear at this point in my life was either given as a gift or t-shirts/hoodies from high school/dance class/college/etc, idk i’m a mess

how would you describe your style?Comfortable Depression(TM)

favorite social media accountas in like, a famous person’s social media account? or social media in general? i love Mark Hamill’s twitter and tumblr is my fave site, so :’D

what size bed do you have? full

any siblings?two half sisters, a half brother, a step brother

if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?i just want a cabin in a forest on a mountain, i literally don’t care where, that’s ALL I WANT

favorite snapchat filter? i always like the kitty ones c:

favorite makeup brand(s)i’m not really into makeup lmao i use whatever i can find at walmart basically, i’m a cheap bitch

how many times a week do you shower?3 unless i’m actually doing stuff and getting gross

favorite tv show?i haven’t watched tv in a long-ass time LMAO i guess i like Say Yes to the Dress? and also those stupid paranormal investigation shows, i don’t even remember what any of them are called but i always get a kick out of those lol

shoe size?like...5 1/2.... don’t lauGH AT MY TINY FEET

how tall are you?5′1, which explains my tiny feet :’D

sandals or sneakers? sandals

do you go to the gym? NOPE LMAO DO MY NOODLE ARMS LOOK LIKE THEY COULD LIFT WEIGHTS

describe your dream datepicnic on a mountaintop somewhere and it’s not too hot or too cold and it’s peaceful and relaxing and aaaaaaa

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?two bucks, i wish i was kidding but that’s all i got :’)

what color socks are you wearing? none at the moment, it was hOT today

how many pillows do you sleep with?uuuuuh six :’DD

(sorry for the formatting weirdness lmao)

37. do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? no i don’t ;w; i haven’t read in a long long time. i can’t even pick a favorite because it’s just been so long.38. money or brains? tbh, call me shallow, but money. brains are all well and good but what’s really important is neither money nor brains anyway so i’D RATHER LIVE A CUSHY LIFE WITH SOMEONE GOOD AND SWEET AND DUMB THAN MEAN AND NASTY AND SMART LMAO39. do you have a nickname? what is it? don’t really have one anymore, but for tumblr purposes just ‘cipher’ will do :’D40. how many times have you been to the hospital?as in, admitted to the hospital for my own health reasons, just twice i think41. top 10 favorite songsthere’s no way i can pick my top favorites of all time because i just love so many, but ten of my recent faves in general, in no particular order;Edge of the Blade - Epica; Ghost in the Mist - Lacuna Coil; Mechanical Love - In This Moment; Gasoline - Halsey; Green Light - Lorde; Black Magic - Little Mix; Wilson - Fall Out Boy; Oh Lord - In This Moment; Peace of Mind - Boston; Miami 2017 - Billy Joel42. do you take any medications daily? no but i probably should be on medication tbh43. what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)i don’t really know? i’m not exceptionally oily OR dry44. what is your biggest fear? being alone in life :’)45. how many kids do you want? none, ugh

70. what was the last concert you saw? Epica and Lacuna Coil!71. tea or coffee?coffee72. Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?STARBUCKSSSS73. do you want to get married?yeh ;w; i’m really worried it’ll never happen though dlkajsfslk74. what is your crush’s first and last initial?don’t have one rn75. are you going to change your last name when you get married? it’d have to be a really fuckin good last name, i’m really attached to mine and i can’t see myself changing it :’D76. what color looks best on you? baby blue or red tbh77. do you miss anyone right now? not really78. do you sleep with your door open or closed?closed, i’m not a FOOL79. do you believe in ghosts?i wouldn’t say i believe, necessarily, but if something weird were to happen to me that i couldn’t explain or seemed like something commonly associated with spiritual activity or w/e i would probably believe it tbh. like, i’d have to see it to believe it, but i would if i did :’D80. what is your biggest pet peeve? i guess immaturity from people who are REALLY supposed to fuckin know better81. last person you called?@seabunnii!! =^~^=

82. favorite ice cream flavor? MINT CHOCOLATE CHIP or just regular chocolate83. regular oreos or golden oreos? regular84. chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? chocolate, i am a chocoholic :’D85. what shirt are you wearing? it’s like a sorta seafoam green hoodie from Topsail Island86. what is your phone background?.....Lana Beniko LMAO at least one of them is, anyway87. are you outgoing or shy?i’m shy as hell :’)88. do you like it when people play with your hair?yesss as long as they’re careful about it and not tangling it up *~*89. do you like your neighbors? yeah they’re nice c:90. do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?night usually91. have you ever been high? no, i’m personally against drugs myself. idc what other people do with their lives but i don’t want any part of it and i don’t want to be around it, that’s just me92. have you ever been drunk?a couple of times, but i can’t drink anymore anyway :’D

94. favorite lyrics right nowgodddd i can never pick favorites...so the first that come to mind:The shot you took was overdueIt’s a good thing I am made of scar tissue

thanks for asking!!! :DD I LOVE DOING THESE LOL

[cemeteryknives]

I was tagged by @loserism-xo :) Thanks dude!

What’s your favorite song(s) to sing/hum? Anything by mcr lmao

What’s your favorite flower/tree/plant (all 3 or whatever you have an answer to)? Man idk I really like beech trees, considering I studied them this fall lmao. Also sunflowers own my ass idk

Favorite colors? Green. Gray. Black. But not necessarily together

How do you take your coffee/tea? Sweetened I guess, I don’t really give a fuck as to whether or not it’s got milk in it or whatever. I drink both

Favorite candle scent? Lavender

Sunrise or sunset? Sunset. But sunrises are pretty too except then you have to endure a whole day afterwards

What perfume do you wear, if any? If I’ve smoked or whatever then I slather myself in Hot Crush by Pink which one of my childhood-friends-who-doesn’t-really-know-me-anymore gave me a few Christmases ago

What’s your go to dance move when you’re alone? I don’t dance alone lol idk I’m like really boring sometimes I jump around? I dance enough in ballet class

Favorite quote? “You can hear our brains rattling inside us, like the littler Russian dolls.” It’s from this great book called Feed by M. T. Anderson. Fave

Favorite self care thing(s)/routine(s)? Sometimes I don’t eat and sometimes I give myself so much caffeine I think my heart might stop. Oh wait what was the question I think I did it wrong

Fuzzy socks or house slippers? Yes (both bc my house is really damn cold)

What color are your eyes? green

What’s your favorite eye color on others? Idk idc literally all eyes are pretty

Favorite season? Why? Spring and summer because warmth and plants

Cheek, neck, or nose kisses? Yes excellent thanks (just not the nose ones idk man) (and it’s not like anyone’s giving me any kisses lmao)

What does your happy place look like? My what now

Favorite breed of dog? What the fuck kinda question is this they’re all beautiful

Do you ever want to be married? If so, what colours would you pick for your wedding theme? Lol probably uhh wow I dunno maybe like foresty colors like green and blue and shit

Silk or lace? Lace even though I’ve ripped every lace thing I’ve ever owned

Cursive or print? Yes (my handwriting is just a blur of Fast ‘N’ Careless)

Favorite weather? When it’s like cloudy and reallyreally windy but not cold

[loyoo391]

That stupid ass light skinned bitch in the first pic talmbout some “the light skinned way”. Bitch SHUT UP. Black men hype up light skinned girls so much over dark skinned girls to the point where they think they’re so much better than everyone else. Its so annoying. she out here putting “the lightskinned way”. Bitch shut up. I hate how light skinned girls brag about benefitting from colorism. Fuck you.

This is why i will never view light skinned girls as equally as black as me. Because they are not TREATED as though they are as equally as black as me and they do not ACT as though they are as black as me, let alone black at all.

Anyways. The girls posted here are so pretty and it sucks that I will never be considered as pretty as them because of my horrid dark skin.

Jan 2023 update: ehhhh there’s still some discourse needed behind light skin people making their whole personality the fact that they’re light skin. But idc anymore lmao I don’t even know these people so why does it matter?

LMAO looking back at this four years later. The fact that I paid money… Out of my own pocket… to find out who he follows and/or the pictures that he likes on Instagram is so crazy to me upon reflection. I have no business dictating what he likes on Instagram. He can like what he likes and it shouldn’t have to be that big of a deal. Why do I care this much? Why did I put this much effort into looking at what he likes on Instagram? It’s not even that serious. He can like whoever he wants. Idc. That doesn’t concern me.

[callmeminseok]

i wasnt around for ot12, and i wanna know more about luhan so i figured why not come to you, LuhanStan69, for information????

ok well first of all, the name luhanstan69 is…. .…. .. .  . horrific and i want it tattooed on my ass .. .. . and second of all …. i was also not around for ot12….. but i can still show u the world (im so sorry just…….click on the bold links,,,,i didnt mean for this 2 happen)

ok so : my man… first name han last name lu and it means dawn deer and he really fucking looks like a deer?? his eyes are so big and sparkly and his features are really delicate and soft but don’t be fooled he really takes no prisoners and will fight literally anyone (here is him yelling at a saesang driver who was recklessly driving, like he really doesn’t take any shit one time at the airport he showed the fancameras that a saesang was calling his phone also the song Roleplay exists in which he basically tells his saesang fans that he will Fuck Them Up if they keep trying him,,,…,.,. a legend if u will) he was born april 20, 1990 and technically he’s a taurus by some calendars and aries by others but he said fuck it im an aries and whatever he says is law so he’s an aries. 

mmmm he’s an extremely talented vocalist and dancer (he was main vocal for m and their lead dancer also the visual). im not sure how familiar you are with exo m but I will recommend moonlight and what is love as songs that really show off luhan’s vocals from his exo era. as far as dance goes this is a classic mmm also his solo from the lost planet for the star is a treasure that must be preserved tbh. um anyways ya luhan was the bomb in exo m but he’s also the bomb solo!! his last exo concert was the 140921 tlp in beijing and he left exo in october of 2014 due to lack of support for luhan’s career and obvious health issues (if u watch fancams from his last stage u can see his face is swollen on one side and pictures of his eye being fucked up and he was having really bad chronic headaches i think i dont remember exactly also he fell down during let out the beast and is clearly in pain sorry im not trying 2 write a defend luhan leaving piece but this info isn’t really circulated now so it’s easy to write off him leaving as for just money or whatever)

and then luhan took a break!! he recovered his health in his home beijing and came back with : That Good Good say what u will abt the song either it’s ur style or not idc but the choreo is nice and his face is….stellar.. from there luhan worked toward releasing his album Reloaded which sold like hotcakes :( my baby :( The Star™️ and he started to truly become The Star™️ once he became a member of Running Man China (now titled Keep Running due to S Korean/Chinese political issues) and began to take on movies like The Witness (he also did the ost for the witness titled Medals which blew tf up and was used for the Rio 2016 Olympics) and Time Raiders. he then held his first !! solo !! concert !! in early 2016 aka the Reloaded series ft. three absolutely beautiful hair colors: mint/blue/green pink purple and some ridiculous wardrobe changes and he kicked ass :( and his fame in china rly skyrocketed like this man….endorses the entire planet (off the top of my head he is/was the spokesperson/endorser for: kfc, crest, lenovo, some bike company thing, puma, cartier, coke, sony, gap, lancome, l’occitane en provence, canon, kung fu panda, star wars (he got his own star wars song like exo has lightsaber but lu got the inner force….iconic), ummmmm what else idk i can’t remember anymore oh wait ADIDAS he literally was just announced for adidas today….an icon mayhaps?) anyways ya hims the Shit in china and he’s like the king of weibo?? like he holds a guinness world record for weibo….amazing

ok moving on to my :( favorite part …. when he put out catch me when i fall in oct 2016. This is it. This is That Song tbh. This is when he became the King of Aesthetics and Music. The MV is beautiful and so are the lyrics (i really encourage you to read the lyrics for the song bc they really show a lot about luhan and i fell absolutely undeniably in love with him when i read them). And from there he litralee cannot be stopped im not gonna make u read my opinion on all of them but his absolute best releases since then (keep in mind im talking abt in the like 7 months….he has put out so many songs AND mv’s for all of them plus teasers it’s really insane) are skin to skin , what if i said , and on call . truly … the mf king of aesthetics. i expect his next full album will come out probably around july/august…he’s really been building up to it with his mini albums so it will probably be more or less a repackage of all of those minis but ya !! keep ur eyes peeled!!

beyond his performance stuff he’s really the most passionate, dedicated, hardworking, and talented guy. He works so hard like it is astounding. He is so incredibly inspirational and i really just think he’s a good person and frankly i would trust him with my life. He really cares for his lufans and wants them to be safe and happy even international lufans like he puts english subtitles on all of his mv’s and now his bts videos also have eng subs like…..he doesn’t have to and yet? he’s there….doing it all. he also has fan events for his bday like one year he had a soccer event on his bday and made it livestreamed so that fans at home could watch too  :( he’s just v thoughtful :(

TL;DR: luhan is the sweetest boy on the planet and he just wants to make aesthetic bops and play w cats and live his life happily and freely. he is the most precious thing to me and he deserves all the love in the world. also he is a human meme and Lu is his magnum opus if u want to see more of lu i highly recommend Running Man (this is his first ep, and these two are my favorites) and episodes 2, 5, and 9 of exo showtime are my favorite lu episodes. u can catch him in the movie The Great Wall w matt damon and a bunch of v famous chinese actors and singers lmfao i just got it from redbox the other day lu is so cute um also he’s in a cdrama rn called Fighter of the Destiny which is all eng subbed on youtube the cgi is like ridiculously cheesy kinda power rangers feel but his face and sweet acting…..it’s enough 4 me….anything luhan does is enough 4 me

[bloody-marauder]

Seriously guys? (SORRY BUT I GOTTA RANT?)

Hear me out. I’ve been listening to K-pop for 10 years. I’m actually a HUGE EXO-L and have been following EXO since their debut and have always been supportive of them since they’re my bias group. I don’t dedicate this blog to k-pop, and don’t ever reblog or post anything k-pop related because I’m pretty lowkey about it and wanna avoid any drama and toxicity as much as I can. But after today I just felt like I need to get certain things off my chest, because I’m truly appalled with some of the things that have been said and I don’t think some of you may realize that it actually makes us look bad (and frankly idc if no one agrees and I’m sure as hell ain’t gonna be replying to any negative comment following this post.)

The boys were SO excited for this comeback guys. Sehun and Baekhyun teased us relentlessly, they had it all figured out and chose to be part of the hype while we waited for their comeback (and during too). They do everything to please us and some fans STILL try to find negative things to say. I think that’s disrespectful in itself. 

I understand that most EXO-L’s are upset about Lay not being in the “teaser” but it’s not over yet so just wait it out before spontaneously combusting into flames and act like your whole life is over. I get it, Lay is probably the purest member and he is so important and honestly I’ll be CRUSHED if he’s not in the MV but he may very well make an appearance, and if not, then I respect that, SM first and foremost is a BUSINESS, which means they’ll prioritize making any kind of profit or money any way they can over anything else. Lay loves his members, the band itself and us, the fans. You all know he wouldn’t just disappear. He wouldn’t just leave EXO. So I’m not worried about that. 

As for the hair situation, yeah, okay maybe Sehun, Kai and Baekhyun’s hair isn’t exactly aesthetic or pleasing to look at, but seriously it’s just hair. They’ll change it again and so what if they promote with it? As much as y’all keep arguing and arguing over it, it really is just hair. We should be there for them, for their music, not just their looks, and tbh I hope that those shallow ‘’fans’’ don’t actually call themselves fans because that’d be an outrage lol. I actually saw certain fans say that they weren’t even excited for the comeback anymore because of their hairstyles. Like...Really? It’s okay to have your own preferences and opinions, clearly everyone of us does, as long as you don’t purposely try to hurt, attack, or judge anyone who has theirs, too. Especially the members. 

Now before you all gang up on me, just know that Baekhyun is actually one of my biases (with Chanyeol being my UB in K-Pop) and obviously like I said up there, I have my own preferences when it comes to hair. Personally, I think he looks best with a natural hair color and with his sideburns not shaved and even when Chanyeol cut his hair super short during the Wolf Era I wasn’t completely comfortable with it at first, but kept it to MYSELF. Did I stop liking EXO because of their haircuts? Did I stop supporting them because they did something to stand out and I personally didn’t think it was appealing? (If you’ve been a fan since day 1, you know what I’m talking about, EXO has had their fair share of unusual/unique /and let’s be real cringy ass/ haircuts and hair colors. All of you should know by now that K-pop is all about standing out and about being unique.) Even Jongin had his dreadlocks/corn rows back during the Wolf Era and everyone just got used to it after a while and just accepted it. It’s okay to joke around about their hair, teasing them and laugh about it because let’s face it, we tease the ones we love. I laughed so hard this morning seeing some of y’all’s posts about Kai’s dreads and Baek’s mullet. But actually getting butt mad over it and starting drama and going on their Instagram posts and commenting mean things is not okay. Also about the whole cultural appropriation, it just makes me laugh that the people who SHOULD be “offended” by his hairstyle are not offended at all and the other half of you who are complaining don’t even know what you’re talking about anyway. People look way too far into this and blow things out of proportion. Be pissed if you want, but just keep it to yourself, and eventually just get over yourself and move on.

(And if you want to discuss cultural appropriation, then do it politely, calmly and respectfully. No need to be mean, insult, or attack anybody.) 

Remember the Baekhyun incident with an EXO-L or an anti insulting his hair while they were in Jeju Island? He was really hurt by that. Please don’t turn into her. Don’t turn into that kind of person. Please don’t do what she did with any of the members or anybody for that matter you love. We all have an opinion, and it’s okay, but don’t blame the idols, or make them feel bad about their choices, not everyone that makes a mistake or makes certain decisions that not everybody agrees with is a dick or purposely tries to make people mad. 

On that note, I can’t wait to see the other members’ teasers and the MV (Or MVS plural if there’s more than one.) I don’t know about all of you but I’m staying out of the drama and I’m going to listen to EXO’s discography while waiting for their comeback.

P.S: A friendly reminder that EXO probably reads all of our posts or you guys’ comments so just be careful with the things you say because words can be hurtful sometimes. And I’m not only talking about the boys exclusively, but I’ve seen some fans of other groups or even our own EXO-L family attack others and it shouldn’t be this way. The boys wouldn’t want it to be this way. Be grateful they made an Instagram, Facebook and Twitter to be able to include and interact with fans from all over the world, please don’t make them regret doing it. 

Be respectful and appreciative, spread love and positivity and let’s continue supporting our boys. They work really, really hard for us. ❤✨👽

An EXO-L from Canada.

[lysitheaioandeuropa]

1-100 cute questions

:~)

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?- more cereal than milk! it has to be crunchy and milk is fucking gross, even though i use almond milk instead

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?- FUCK yeah, especially if it's also sunny outside

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?- grocery receipts are the usual culprit. maybe i should make my own bookmarks!

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?- rn i'm having sugar free white chocolate w half & half and 3 splenda

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?- i'm self conscious of my entire existence my friend

6: do you keep plants?- yes! she gave me and orchid and a bamboo plant a while back, and i have ian my aloe/succulent

7: do you name your plants?- lmfao yes, ian! she named the bamboo melman, and i never named the orchid. zack and sabrina are no longer w us unfortunately

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?- i used to write and draw a lot. i don't get a chance to do it as often now but i rly am trying more. i'll even try my hand at inktober this year but yikes scared bc i can't actually draw

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?- hell yeah bitch if i am in the mood for it

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?- all of the above? lmao. my back is most cozy but sleep paralysis, so a mix of side stomach like its a specific diagonal ass position on my bed lol

11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends?- "coming this soon"

12: what's your favorite planet?- FUCKING JUPITER BRO OMFG MY URL ARE TWO OF MY FAVE MOONS OF JUPITER TEST ME BITCH

13: what's something that made you smile today?- i don't think i've smiled today? maybe something michelle said earlier when we went to lowe's

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?- *takes pics of my current place*might have a little more aesthetic to it just bc location though. and if i live in a bigger city than orlando that means i have more money to REALLY fulfill my aesthetic wishes

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!- Recent work by planetary scientists has indicated that the deep atmospheres of Jupiter and Saturn may contain chunks of diamond floating in a liquid hydrogen-helium fluid. MEANING, it rains diamonds on jupiter

16: what's your favorite pasta dish?- permission crusted chicken, w angel hair in a lemon butter sauce

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?- i was going for a magenta over the summer and was p successful but my mom paid for me to not keep lightening and shit, that wasn't my money so idc lol rn its auburn-ish. i rly do still want a light blond/almost gray though

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.- the time i got incredibly drunk, like, throwing up and dying can't even walk drunk like wow i'm not like that lmao so when that happens it's wild

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?- i have multiple journals and a sketch book. the sketch book is whatever i feel inspired to draw atm and bc thats so rare i just be picking it up and going lmao. i hardly write anymore, these questions kinda keep me going

20: what's your favorite eye color?- light brown is vastly underrated tbh, like yeah green is cool but i have always been a sucker for hazel or just noticeably lighter brown eyes. i remember this one boy in the 8th grade had me swooning w that alone lmao and ofc my gf now its soo nice

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.- i no longer have it, but i had the same jansport since the seventh grade. i used to customize it and sew on letters or iron on, change it up ever so often, and got rid of it senior year of high school

22: are you a morning person?- i really am not, but everyone thinks i am since i'm up at 6am even the days i ain't got shit to do

23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?- PLAY VIDEO GAMES. draw, do these questions, sometimes even brainstorm ideas about books i'll never write

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?- shit every single one of them? well nvm, yeah there is. jordan. that's my ride or die forreal and honestly i think she does know ABSOLUTELY everything there is to know about me. timmy too actually!

25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into?- hmm idk if it counts but this one "abandoned house" in the gables to smoke, and the rooftop of merrick park late at night

26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit?- bro i had these low top black and white converse that i got for christmas one year from this boy that rly liked me lmao i kept them for a hotttt minute, through college i think but had to throw them away when the sole finally gave out

27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor?- just mint is fine

28: sunrise or sunset?- sunset

29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?- just how she remembers and notices absolutely everything. i moved a pin in my room once and after not having been over for a week she asked me where it was as soon as she walked in

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?- yeah last night when i was home alone and i swear i thought i heard knocks on my bedroom door which would be impossible. fuck no i didn't open it

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.- i think socks are cool, they make my feet soft if i put them on immediately after showering & moisturizing. they protect your heels from getting too cracked as well. i don't care for white socks, but am a slut for black no show ones. i sometimes have to buy kids socks bc my feet are so fucking small that no show, still show. i like aesthetic socks! like the ones w cartoons and stuff like that. and knee high socks can be sexy, just maybe not on me?

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.- i don't be w friends like that? OH but this one night we went to see Laidback Luke at Space and then we went to Nikki beach to drink some more and watch the sun rise and we all rly bonded and i learned some shit about my friends i def ain't know before it was rly nice. there was a dog we met there named molly LMFAO

33: what's your fave pastry?- i like lemon and red velvet stuff. guava and cheese pastries are good too i miss them

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?- okay i didn't rly have any stuffed animals as a kid, but that boy i was obsessed with, omar, he gave me a plush lil puppy one year for christmas and omg i cherished it lmao. but then my dog got it and i was so sad :(

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?- FUCK YEAH I DO. i use them often, though not as often as before like i need to get back on track w being organized

36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now?- arctic monkeys, always

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?- clean!!!! i finished cleaning it completely today and wow i feel like a brand new person

38: tell us about your pet peeves!- messes stress me outtttttt, like gross unhygienic messes omfg

39: what color do you wear the most?- black bitch, next

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you?- i have these 1/4 carat diamond earrings that i received as a christmas gift last year from one of my kids and it was just so sweet and i rly love them, they're the only earrings i wear now

41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving?- the zodiac series! and lord of shadows!

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!- no i don't, not yet at least. i would like to find a rly rly nice one, maybe we'll go hunting for one next weekend. there are two rly good boba places i like though!

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?- michelle maybe? and no gaze, we just noticed the starts were nice during that hurricane lmao

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?- july 8, 2017 it was short lived limited to just that day lmao but it was nice

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?- some times? my instincts don't be telling me a lot tbh

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.- "what did the cell say to his sister when she stepped on his foot? Mitosis"

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?- sea food? fucking pickles!! mustard too

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?- roaches, and possibly hell yeah

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?- i do! but i have apple music now so i do not buy music or anything any more

50: what's an odd thing you collect?- tickets. plane tickets, parking tickets, concert tickets, admission tickets, sometimes even receipts, if it has a nice enough memory attached to it i collect it

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?- nothing i can think of at the moment

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?- salt bae, all the "it" memes, the neo yokio memes, "i had to do it to em," x-files memes

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?- i'm familiar w rocky horror & the heathers, love beattle juice, haven't watched pulp fiction

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?- myself whenever i look in the mirror

55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point?- i don't rly be doing shit "just to prove a point" thats rly petty

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?- love when their faces light up talking about some shit that gets them hype

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?- i rly don't fucking care for bohemian rhapsody like why is that a thing

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?- i am vodka aunt

59: what's your favorite myth?- I LOVE ALL GREEK MYTHOLOGY EQUALLY. norse mythology is cool too, as is celtic but i think greek is my fave

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?- poetry is hard to get into bc so much of it doesn't resonate w me or comes off as fake deep tumblr posts (i'm looking @ you milk and honey). howl by allen ginsberg is still my fave

61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received?- i'm always surprised to be getting any gifts at all, i don't think i have ever received anything "stupid." my gf used to love giving me food and candy though but like i'm fat so no. and i don't give gifts without putting any thought into it so i have never given a "stupid" gift either.

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?- no, i drink ice cold water and coffee. sometimes crystal light which isn't rly juice to me i think its just flavored water

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?- nigga YES! i just reorganized my entire bookshelf and my itunes is not as neat bc i'm behind but i also keep that rly meticulously done

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?- blue-ish gray

65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with?- my gf, lmao. thuy!!!! nick and andres too omg!!

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?- not roses, it'd be an assortment of a ton of flowers, lots of pink and green and white

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?- i fucking THRIVE it's nice, scary movie and reading weather

68: what's winter like where you live?- it's FAKE AS HELL. i wish it just a tad cooler, like ten or fifteen degrees

69: what are your favorite board games?- i like scategories and the game of life. candyland!

70: have you ever used a ouija board?- those are caucasian activities no thank you

71: what's your favorite kind of tea?- great tea or tazo passion tea

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it?- HELL YEAH and i'll note it down multiple times like written, typed, phone agenda, etc it's hard and i hate my shit memory

73: what are some of your worst habits?- procrastination is the worst i think

75: tell us about your pets!- i don't have any :( i would count zeus but i'm also deathly allergic to him

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't?- yeah!!!!! smh

77: pink or yellow lemonade?- "why not both?" probably pink more

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?- hate that shit they're so ugly and annoying and gross and hate how they talk like bro

79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?- i never thought my mom cared about me tbh but she threw me a huge graduation/birthday party i cried.

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?- they're a nude/beige, i didn't pick it but i'm also not painting over. its nice though

81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.- this sounds nice in theory but i dont rly have the energy for it rn lol

82: are/were you good in school?- i was but i coasted, had i tried a lot harder and dedicated more time to it i could have been better

83: what's some of your favorite album art?-i can't think of any rly  

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?- i have to add to what i have on my back, and have a few more i would like but am not sure about

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?- i do! i'm actually reading one now on tumblr, its called countdown to countdown and its rather interesting. i like twd comics, and am also reading the OoT manga. i rly love manga too actually, inuyasha was the first one i read that got me into it

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?- BECAUSE THE INTERNET, CHILDISH GAMBINO

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?- i've seen a ton of movies dude. i think spirited away or kiki's delivery service, or princess mononoke. ghibli movies w strong female leads. howl's moving castle too but it does focus more on romance. i should reread the book

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?- i'm not familiar enough w art to tell you! i think art is rly interesting though, and don't particularly care for modern art

89: are you close to your parents?- not rly, but am more so as an adult. i don't tell them my business or anything like that though

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.- seattle just really resonates w me and the more i talk about it the stupider it sounds. but i have been to quite a few cities, DC, atlanta, Tallahassee, miami, san diego, vegas, the list goes on. none of them made me feel the way seattle does. maybe bc i went alone? maybe the time period that i went? some of the memories attached to the city kind of suck now, lol, but still rly important to me

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?- nowhere in particular this year, but i'm def going back to seattle next year guaranteed, maybe doing paradiso

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?- if its my own sauce then no cheese at all, otherwise olive garden def hates me

93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most?- i just wash it and wear it down

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?- today is felisha's bday apparently

95: what are your plans for this weekend?- uh idk, ig see my gf. i'm avoiding a baby shower but idk what we'll do instead

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?- i procrastinate on them a ton lmfao "remind me later" yeah bitch in like a century

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?- INTP, gemini, ravenclaw

98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?- i don't think i ever have gone hiking

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.- i'm sure there are a few but nothing i can think of off the top of my head. reflection by 5h actually lol

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?- FIVE YEARS INTO THE PAST and five years ago is a rly good time to go back to!!! i was 20 and going through suchhhhh a bad break up but i wish i could have gotten up and been a bad bitch sooner lol i love the stuff i experienced that year, went to my first edc and whatnot. 2013 was rough on me but i pushed through it! 2014 i made some bad choices that i would change, 2015 wan alright but i can do it better and i'm not even sure what 2016 was. i would have started teaching sooner had i known it was something i could do i think. i would have worked harder and been more responsible especially financially, though tbh i did pretty well. i'd just do adulthood a lot better and start off a lot stronger. I WOULD REDO THAT LOCKHEED INTERVIEW AND ROCK THE SHIT OUT OF IT.

[nadi-nadi]

100 questions tag

tagged by @justkeeponsimming obvi 💕

1. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR CLOSET DOORS OPEN OR CLOSED? closed, because i never leave them open omg

2. DO YOU TAKE THE SHAMPOOS AND CONDITIONER BOTTLES FROM HOTELS? no, mine are better

3. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR SHEETS TUCKED IN OR OUT? i had to google what does it mean and i think they’re out

4. HAVE YOU STOLEN A STREET SIGN BEFORE? no, everybody knows i’m a good girl, officer

5. DO YOU LIKE TO USE POST-IT NOTES? only to note what i want others to buy me

6. DO YOU CUT OUT COUPONS BUT THEN NEVER USE THEM? imagine having coupons in poland, can’t relate

7. WOULD YOU RATHER BE ATTACKED BY A BIG BEAR OR A SWARM OF BEES? bees, at least i’d have a chance to live

8. DO YOU HAVE FRECKLES? no, but i wish i had some, freckles are soooo cute

9. DO YOU ALWAYS SMILE FOR PICTURES? mostly, because if i don’t i look like a rude cunt

10. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? oh boy, i could write an essay on my pet peeves

11. DO YOU EVER COUNT YOUR STEPS WHEN YOU WALK? no, but lemme tell you i make like 3 and a half a day

12. HAVE YOU PEED IN THE WOODS? boy, i lived next to a forest for 12 years, of course i did

13. HAVE YOU EVER POOPED IN THE WOODS? not sure, but i guess so?

14. DO YOU EVER DANCE EVEN IF THERES NO MUSIC PLAYING? yehhh

15. DO YOU CHEW YOUR PENS AND PENCILS? no, it’s gross but i do chew on straws (and i drink all cold drinks though a straw)

16. HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH THIS WEEK? none, i’m such a virgin

17. WHAT SIZE IS YOUR BED? idk? 1,5 person??

18. WHAT IS YOUR SONG OF THE WEEK? annie lennox - don’t let it bring you down

19. IS IT OK FOR GUYS TO WEAR PINK? iS iT oK FoR GuYs To WeAr PiNk?

20. DO YOU STILL WATCH CARTOONS? no, i don’t really watch anything rn

21. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE MOVIE? anything with adam sander, i hate his guts

22. WHERE WOULD YOU BURY HIDDEN TREASURE IF YOU HAD SOME? up in my ass

23. WHAT DO YOU DRINK WITH DINNER? water with lemons, i only drink water now

24. WHAT DO YOU DIP A CHICKEN NUGGET IN? sand, chickens really love sand baths, they might become stressed when they don’t have some sand to bathe in :(

25. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOOD? i don’t know, i don’t care about food too much? i like vegan pizza tho

26. WHAT MOVIES COULD YOU WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND STILL LOVE? kill bill, american beauty

27. LAST PERSON, YOU KISSED/KISSED YOU? some random guy at a party, but it was a long time ago

28. WERE YOU EVER A BOY/GIRL SCOUT? no, i was too lazy

29. WOULD YOU EVER STRIP OR POSE NUDE IN A MAGAZINE? if my titties were a lil bit bigger then sure, i love myself

30. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A LETTER TO SOMEONE ON PAPER? 12 or 13 years ago me and my friend were writing letters because WE WERE KIDS AND I DIDN’T HAVE INTERNET BACK THEN

31. CAN YOU CHANGE THE OIL ON A CAR? no, it gets you dirty

32. EVER GOTTEN A SPEEDING TICKET? but...

33. EVER RAN OUT OF GAS? i don’t even have a car nor a driver’s licence

34. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF SANDWICH? i like sandwiches!!! with avocado, all kinds of vegan shit or with peanut butter

35. BEST THING TO EAT FOR BREAKFAST? i only drink green tea for breakfast, how sad

36. WHAT IS YOUR USUAL BEDTIME? midnight - 1am mostly

37. ARE YOU LAZY? is lana del rey the most beautiful woman in the world?

38. WHEN YOU WERE A KID, WHAT DID YOU DRESS UP AS FOR HALLOWEEN? we don’t celebrate halloween in this shithole

39. WHAT IS YOUR CHINESE ASTROLOGICAL SIGN? the ox!!

40. HOW MANY LANGUAGES CAN YOU SPEAK? polish, english, a lil bit of russian and i used to learn german but lmao the only thing i can say is “ich habe keine lust”

41. DO YOU HAVE ANY MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS? no, but now i wish i lived in the uk and subscribed to elle ehh

42. WHICH ARE BETTER: LEGOS OR LINCOLN LOGS? the fuck are lincoln logs lmaoooo

43. ARE YOU STUBBORN? as fuck

44. WHO IS BETTER: LENO OR LETTERMAN? dude i’m from poland, have some mercy

45. EVER WATCH SOAP OPERAS? used to watch muñeca brava when i was little lmao

46. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? yesss, but i’m slowly overcoming the fear

47. DO YOU SING IN THE CAR? when i’m riding with my mom (this is our song) or with my brother

48. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER? yes, i always start with florida kilos, then lolita and i like to end the show with black beauty (all by ldr)

49. DO YOU DANCE IN THE CAR? sometimes, yes

50. EVER USED A GUN? does a bow count?

51. LAST TIME YOU GOT A PORTRAIT TAKEN BY A PHOTOGRAPHER? when i was 7

52. DO YOU THINK MUSICALS ARE CHEESY? yes! but some of them are iconic (hsm!!!!)

53. IS CHRISTMAS STRESSFUL? i only get the second hand stress from everyone around me, i don’t celebrate christmas anymore

54. EVER EAT A PIEROGI? UM YESS?? i don’t like them that much but they’re so popular in poland omg

55. FAVORITE TYPE OF FRUIT PIE? i... don’t eat pies :(

56. OCCUPATIONS YOU WANTED TO BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID? a hoe, a singer, a doctor, an architect blah blah, i just wanna be a sb now

57. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS? kinda

58. EVER HAVE A DEJA-VU FEELING? all the time

59. DO YOU TAKE A VITAMIN DAILY? not daily, but i take b12 weekly

60. DO YOU WEAR SLIPPERS? y e s, do you guys walk around your house barefoot or what

61. DO YOU WEAR A BATH ROBE? rn? no. sometimes? yes.

62. WHAT DO YOU WEAR TO BED? p a j a m a s you naughty

63. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CONCERT? like... a concert of a person i really wanted to see? then none. but i’m seeing lana in august ahhhh

64. WALMART, TARGET, OR KMART? biedronka, tesco or lidl?

65. NIKE OR ADIDAS? both or none, idk

66. CHEETOS OR FRITOS? what are fritos :(

67. PEANUTS OR SUNFLOWER SEEDS? NUTS

68. EVER HEAR OF THE GROUP TRES BIEN? noo? ever hear of our lord and savior lana del rey?

69. EVER TAKE DANCE LESSONS? not really, unfortunately

70. IS THERE A PROFESSION YOU PICTURE YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE DOING? something that gets him lots of $$, idc what

71. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? :( no :(

72. EVER WON A SPELLING BEE? we don’t have thoooose, because in polish you spell everything the way it’s written, it wouldn’t be fun at all lmao

73. HAVE YOU EVER CRIED BECAUSE YOU WERE SO HAPPY? yeah, probably but i cry VERY rarely

74. OWN ANY RECORD ALBUMS? i don’t, but my dad has shit ton of old classics

75. OWN A RECORD PLAYER? as above - my dad has one

76. DO YOU REGULARLY BURN INCENSE? regularly? no. sometimes? yehh

77. EVER BEEN IN LOVE? i only ever loved lana

78. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IN CONCERT? lana (obvi), the weeknd, cupcakke, marina

79. WHAT WAS THE LAST CONCERT YOU SAW? some shitband, i don’t even remember their name

80. HOT TEA OR COLD TEA? how much do you need to hate yourself to drink cold tea

81. TEA OR COFFEE? green tea, because HeAlThY

82. SUGAR COOKIES OR SNICKERDOODLES? sugar daddies

83. CAN YOU SWIM WELL? i haven’t swam in like 8 years, but i think i still could, the only thing is i’m afraid of wetting my hair

84. CAN YOU HOLD YOUR BREATH WITHOUT HOLDING YOUR NOSE? for like 20 secs yes

85. ARE YOU PATIENT? very patient, maybe even too patient

86. DJ OR BAND AT A WEDDING? what wedding aksjdlasfklaj I DON’T KNOW HER

87. EVER WON A CONTEST? yes, i won katy perry’s album once lmaoo

88. HAVE YOU EVER HAD PLASTIC SURGERY? not yet *winky dinky*

89. WHICH ARE BETTER: BLACK OR GREEN OLIVES? none, olives are disgusting

90. CAN YOU KNIT OR CROCHET? my mom taught me how to knit but i don’t remember anymore

91. BEST ROOM FOR A FIREPLACE? fireplace in every roooooooom

92. DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED? NO.

93. IF MARRIED, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED? ugh

94. WHO WAS YOUR HIGH SCHOOL CRUSH? i had some crushes, but they were all trash

95. DO YOU CRY AND THROW A FIT UNTIL YOU GET YOUR OWN WAY? i’m not gonna cry nor throw a fit, but i WILL get my own way, mostly

96. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? yikes, don’t even say that

97. DO YOU WANT KIDS? no i don’t, life’s so much more than getting married and fucking like rabbits

98. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR? yellow

99. DO YOU MISS ANYONE RIGHT NOW? my mommy, my brother, my bff, also can you miss someone you��ve never seen? if so, then lana

100. WHO ARE YOU GOING TO TAG TO DO THIS TAG NEXT?

no one sksklafl but it was fun