#so if anyone is confused/wants to see the origin of the meme it's there. fake movie.

[vanwizard]

okay i will admit i enjoyed these three in the like. one scene they were actually all on screen together.

sofia voice shut up and get the fuck out goncharov, i’m gonna fuck your wife now.

[idjitlili]

Oh no, all the hobbits Aragorn.

Aragorn x reader.

Request for Thatfoolishhuman 'I would love an Aragorn imagine! Could you do one where the Mc is a healer (like, she can make wounds disappear with her hands.) and she patches Aragorn up after a battle and he falls in love with how gentle she is.'

Summary: Imagine being apart of the fellowship, being Gandalf's niece , you learn some stuff from him whether he liked it or not. Basically following the fellowship in secret from Rivendell, until you slipped up.

A/n: Arwen and Aragorn aren't together in this imagine, he still grew up with Elrond. A pitch is a piggyback ride it's the original name for it. Totally didn’t make a meme for this

Word count:2253

Warnings: I'm British, so spelling for certain words differs, such as grey, colour, among other words, don't be mad please.

Growing up around a wizard, especially Gandalf the grey, you learnt a lot. He just left books laying around, books full of spells. Of course Gandalf wasn't really related to you, but he might as well have been. Your parents travelled a lot, so you ended up being around Gandalf most of your childhood.

Gandalf had taught you some basic spells, nothing major, healing spells mostly, children are clumsy. It was no secret your parents didn't like you running through the forests, saying it was too dangerous , general protectiveness, you guess. Many times they proved that they were right, many times you had fallen into traps left for animals. You would've probably bled out, if it wasn't for Gandalf.

Still living with your parents, no longer a child, not knowing what you wanted to do, you parents wanted you to go work in the local bakery, not wanting you to travel around like they did, dangerous times with black riders frequently on the road and such. But of course you didn't want a simple life.

Again your parents had left on business, this time you didn't go to Gandalf's house, you had maybe listened in, when going to visit Frodo , only to see Samwise Gamgee listening under the window. You know how it goes, Gandalf caught him, not you.

You ended up following Frodo, Sam , Merry and Pippin. Life is boring, might as well take a risk, you longed for adventure, like the mister Bilbo. 

Surprisingly the elves had not even noticed you at Rivendell, actually not surprising Gandalf had brought you there many times, so they probably thought you were with him. You had waited in the trees outside Rivendell's gates, for them. 

You hadn't know what was actually going on , or whether there would actually be a quest, but to your lucky there was. Not really lucky for Boromir though... soon enough Frodo and Gandalf had emerged along with 7 others.

You weren't noticed for a long time considering, Frodo's fault completely, when Frodo had fallen down the mountain in the snow, you had been hiding not so great in the snow, and of course Frodo landed facing you. While Aragorn had rushed back to Frodo, Frodo's face was laced with confusion as he stared at you.

"Y/n...?" Frodo had stood up, not realising he had dropped the ring, you rising with your backpack and coat one, with the snow littering your hair.  Aragorn had just stared too moving towards Frodo, carefully, the others travelling down to see what was going on.

"Oh, Frodo!  What are you doing here? I was just out to get some milk for my dinner." Standing calf deep in snow, freezing, yet your facing burning with embarrassment.

"I was wondering when you'd reveal yourself." Gandalf chuckling , of course he knew you were there, but what you didn't know was that Gollum had been not even three feet away from you..  Gandalf had turned back grabbing the ring from Boromir and launching it at Frodo, like he was Michael Jordan.

"Gandalf who is this?" Gimli of all of the fellowship had questioned you, he wasn't afraid to speak his mind.

"Y/n is my niece , now come along we don't have all day."

Thus, you were no longer a stalker , but part of the fellowship. Time had passed and you had lost your uncle, but it didn't feel right, you couldn't process his death, so you pretended he just slipped on some bread and was at home resting.

Soon enough you were all heading for Lothlórien, without realising it, you had stayed close to Legolas at this moment, mostly to bug him.

"If elves are so great, then how didn't you notice me? For all you know I could've been watching you pee, I wasn't but I could've been.  While you was sleeping I could've chopped your hair off and made a wig. Why do you look like your are apart of a dance routine? Why do you float? How does it feel to have a dick for a father?" Rambling on , you are surprised that Legolas doesn't whoop you, he could've, you wouldn't have been able to do much, you aren't the best person at defence.

You couldn't tell if you was annoying Legolas or not, but Gimli had kept smirking your way, as he stomped through the forest.

"Hey, Legolas? "

"Yes, y/n?" Legolas had sighed , he much preferred Gimli antics.

"Can I have a pitch?" But he had just stared at you, frowning, huffing you had walking around Legolas so you was next to Aragorn. Only for your ankle to roll, making you fall into Aragorn, it didn't necessarily hurt but. Aragorn had grabbed you and placed you back onto your feet.

"Um, Aragorn? You know you much better that Legolas..? Can I have a pitch?" You were undoubtedly attracted Aragorn, come on, he looks like a God. Fuck Thor. He didn't even answer just knelt down, allowing you to grip around his neck, and grab your calf's. Carrying on walking with ease.

Raising your eyebrows and smirking at Legolas behind you, he just never showed any emotion, except in that scene with Haldir , where he just smirks creepily in the background.

You weren't particularly close to anyone in the fellowship other than Frodo and Sam. But when Boromir died, yes it was sad, but where did the hobbits go? You had stayed close to Aragorn as he fought down the Uruk-hai as you hid in a tree. Before lifting you down, rushing to dying Boromir.

"They took the little ones,"

"Be still."

"Frodo! Where is Frodo?"

"I let Frodo go."

"Then you did what I could not. I tried to take the Ring from him."

Kneeling next to Boromir, "The hobbits Aragorn, but we shall get them back." Boromir was too far gone to be saved, the wrong brother died sadly. Boromir eyes had met yours once more , as he smiled , before he finished his speech to his king.

After Boromir was sent home, the fellowship was down to just four, rushing after Merry and Pippin.  "We must hurry! The hobbits Aragorn!" Five minutes of running , and you were already getting a stitch.  This was no time for jokes.

Soon enough Gandalf was alive, and Aragorn was dead, as Théoden had lead you all to helms deep. You had seen Eowyn, oh how heartbroken she was after she found out Aragorn was dead, that bitch knew him for what five minutes, she was already grinding up on him.

You were witch, she was a princess, obviously Aragorn was going to prefer her. Soon enough Aragorn practically marching into helms deep, injured but alive , what's with all the faked deaths.

After Aragorn had done his big speech and everyone had left to get ready for war, you had stayed behind obviously, you didn't want to confront him in front of everyone. "Uh, Aragorn?" You were unsure of yourself, honestly, you can't have a crush on a king. You swear kings have bad hair, lucky Aragorn didn't , look at the British royal family.. now that's embarrassing.

Aragorn had turned Aragorn to face you, waiting for you to speak, he definitely didn't fall from heaven, the Valar decided to test him by shoving him off a cliff.

"Um, I was wondering if I c-could help with those wounds, um, I didn't know if you needed help?" You were sure that your face was probably flushed red, it would be surprising if he could even understand you , as you stumbled over your own words.

Aragorn had nodded , before sitting down near by.  Grabbing the king foil out of your bag , along with other healing herbs, Aragorn had removed his jacket and undone some of the buttons on his tunic. Bringing a stool in front of Aragorn for you to sit.  You weren't about to chew up the kings foil,  tearing it up before trying to gently apply it to the huge gash across his chest.

A small groan had emerged from his lips as you had placed a piece kings foil to the gash too harshly. "Sorry." Looking into Aragorn's bright eyes , for a spilt second before going back to gently placing the kings foil. Aragorn stops you , by grabbing your wrist , not with force, making you look back up at him.

"Do not be sorry, I just fell off a cliff, I've been through worse." A smile reassuring smile plant on his face, but you can only think what is worse than falling off a cliff.

"Okay, sorry, I mean I'm not sorry, you are very intelligent or a king, there's warg! Let's go fight our enemy on the edge of a cliff. Um, actually that's embarrassing because I fell down a well because a owl scared me, I was stuck down there for hours, and then Gandalf found me and used a bucket to get me out. I had to sit in the bucket while he pulled it up."

Aragorn had let go of your wrist , allowing you to continue as you spoke, "you have not changed."

"Pardon?" Aragorn was smiling down at you as your eyebrows scrunched together.

" Last week I saw leaf , hit you in the back of your neck, you jumped three feet in the air." Your face flushed again, as you tried to contain a smile, as Aragorn laughed at you.

"I did not, that was not a leaf, it was a snake!"

"A green round snake, I believe you , y/n" you had stopped applying the kings foil, to put your head between your nerves , to hide your face in embarrassment . "It was a deformed snake."

"Last month, you skidded in mud and fell flat on your back, when Legolas put his hand on your shoulder briefly. Or when you kicked Boromir's cock when he was try-" sitting back up to look at Aragorn.

"You are right, next time it will be you that I will kick." Aragorn could not have shut his legs quicker, making you laugh at him, "I'll have to start wearing a shield."

"Never know when I'll strike, your balls are going to be deformed." Aragorn had gasped at you, as you brought your hand other his wound beginning to heal him as you chanted quietly.

"Such foul language, Gandalf would not approve." Looking up to Aragorn with a small smile, placing your other hand on his shoulder softly, to stop him from moving.  Really the healing didn't take very long, the cut left a blood stain though.  "Stay there," (or you get unprofessional neutering.) Grabbing the water pouch from your bag, and piece of cloth.

Before returning to sit in front of Aragorn with the damp cloth, wiping off the dried blood gently.  You couldn't help but feel like you had done something good today, you got to heal ,clean an very attractive man stopping his wound from getting infected and him dying. 

Plus,he's Aragorn, who wouldn't want to touch his chest.   As you finished, you had look down for your pouch, only to see how blood his hands were. Lifting his hand up to examine it, no way you were a doctor. " How have you not gotten infection? All that Orc blood going into your open wounds." Again having to heal all the  little cuts and slices on his hands.

It was no secret to Aragorn that he had developed a like for you, from the moment Frodo saw you sticking out in the snow like a mole heap.

“Tis the best you are going to be, after this battle you will covered again. Legolas probably glide through here, any minute asking where his beloved is.” Both of you standing up, grabbing your bag, you had leant up to press a kiss to Aragorns cheek, before turning away to head to where the woman and children were, Gandalf’s orders.

Aragorn had stopped you again, by the shoulder, causing you to turn back around. “Y/n, thank you. May I ask for something else?” Aragorns eyes looking into your e/c ones

softly, you had nodded. “Would you accept me courtship?” You had just pressed your lips slow onto his before pulling away.

The door was quickly opened “ARAGORN!” Legolas glided into the room, rushing towards you and Aragorn. Sighing “your beloved is here,” Legolas was stood between both of you, you had to walk around him, to wrap your arms around Aragorn,briefly embracing, before pulling away.

Legolas just stared, “I’m not hugging you too, leg a less, that’s what your name would be if you had no legs, because your legs aragorn”

[acloudkat]

Gossip Girl 2.0

So. . . I was unsure of whether I was going to talk about this or not but… in the end, here we are!

I shall be talking about the Gossip Girl Reboot.

Now quick disclaimer and mild *excuse you* to HBO, please find ways to make your content accessible to Europe because there are those of us that are interested and unfortunately your "Max" service is US only and honestly i see no reasonable logic behind it. Therefore my means of getting access to this content shall not be discussed.

Extra disclaimer, there will be spoilers. Doi.

Now I am a big die hard fan of the original GG series and despite the outdated (to today’s standards) comparisons and slang, some of the topics hold up even today. For anyone curious or questioning my opinion, based on my generation, I am mildly in the middle as a Zelenial at 23. I did not grow up with GG, I learned about it when I was 14 but watched it for the first time when I was 19. Since, I have watched it up to 14-17 times; more than 10 for sure. So you can do with that as you please. The main reason I mention this is due to some articles and comments pointing out that maybe it’s a “Gen Z only media” or that “Millennials are just bitter cause it’s not theirs”. Keeping that in mind I will be as per usual showing the ups and downs of the show (so far and later on) from my own personal perspective.

After watching ep 1. (& now 2 which will be in a separate post after this) I have a few questions, comments AND concerns. So let’s get into those shall we :)

So let's do a little round up of our characters.

We have newcomer Zoya Lott that is moving to NYC on a Constance scholarship! But little did anyone in the show know, it was all a plot to get to be with her *half sister*. WHAT?! So the tldl on that is that Zoya and our other main character, Julien Calloway, share a mom! Mom, that i quote "left Julien's dad for Zoya's dad and the dads hate each other" because of which hate, they had absolutely forbidden their daughters from communicating. One thing led to another, a friend request was sent and this is basically the parent trap. . . . but for the kids. . .and they're aware of it cause they made it. . . I suppose? The parents haven't really been mentioned to matter in their plan, however, they do keep bringing up their middle names as "Zoya Jane and Julien Elizabeth" as clues left by their mother? Now some rumours around the web have connected the names to the Pride and Prejudice novels and while that would be extremely Gossip Girl-esque to do, and I am entirely up for that, hell yea!!! I'm wondering if it's as simple as... their mother's name was Elizabeth Jane... but maybe GG will be the one to discover that secret first? Other than that, Zoya is very much a very trusting "innocent type" character that probably has more past than we know about so it will be quite interesting to see how that elaborates going further into the series.

Then there is self-made influencer Julien Calloway. She is the new version of queen at Constance but as stated, they "don't do the patriarchy anymore". While she appears all smiles and kindness, personally i feel as if JC is kind of fake? She has things she cares about yes, but the moment someone or something interferes with her followers and her social standing or Obie (more on him later)

"the gloves come off and the claws come out" - Serena Van der Woodsen

When it comes to Julien I am honestly more curious to see who she is once you take away the followers and the media. Will she be an actual person or just a shallow obsessed spoiled brat? I just hope it won't be the typical story of "have to be perfect and have to have everyone like me because my mom left" ie. has mommy issues. That is how that cliche goes after all. So I am greatly hoping that's not going to be it for this one.

Obie Bergmann! We get introduced to Obie as Julien's boyfriend. Throughout ep 1, the things we learn about Obie are that he is basically the richest in the group, and lives in Dumbo. (irony from original GG for anyone that can guess it). He appears like a super nice and kind dude, a supportive boyfriend, kind of bland and tired of the relationship but the main thing that bothers me about him so far is his impossible to ignore "white guilt syndrome". For anyone unaware, "white guilt" is "remorse or shame felt by a white person with respect to racial inequality and injustice". While it's not a bad thing trying to make up for the in-equality in the world, here's hoping that's not his entire character cus that would get old quick.

Then we have the bestie, Audrey Hope. Audrey. . . is cold but to the point. Very analysing and observing. Definitely the type of character that would take all the info first and decide what to do after. I both like and am confused by her? Her cold mannerisms are quite enjoyable among the masses of drama and emotion I won't lie. However, i do predict a juicy threesome between her, boyfriend Aki and one Max Wolfe. Honestly, I am highly interested in how their relationship evolves.

Aki Menzies is kind of a mystery as of the moment. As to be expected with just 1 episode, we won't know too much about all the characters. He is the very supportive boyfriend that tries to keep the peace between everyone.

Max Wolfe on the other hand appears like the much more flamboyant version of Chuck Bass, if Chuck Bass had a supportive family environment and no limits on who he's dating. That's more or less for him but kuddos for his 0 hesitation to basically have a pic of his dick sent to everyone. I will never not find that hilarious. But again, between these three is my prediction for some juicy interactions. Cause to be fully honest, the chemistry is undeniable.

Monet de Haan. Ah. She is honestly the savage that we need around here. She is the control and the power behind Julien's brand honestly. I am curious how come she helps Julien with her brand rather than have her own? If we go off anything said in the episode, she is more feared than adored so maybe that's why? But Monet honey, fear can also have a following, just . . a different one.

And then there's Luna La, "The stylist" while we don't know much about her, some of her one liners are actively giving me life. Her and Monet are definitely a package deal and i wonder if there is juicier gossip there that we don't know yet.

Lastly, we have our new Gossip Girl. Young teacher, Kate Keller. I won't lie, i did not see us knowing who GG is from the get go. I am however wondering whether this will drag her down to the level of highschoolers (besides the fact that she looks younger than some of them xD) Something that is bothering me in the reboot however, is that technically, characters that represent adults, spying on minors??? Like they even make the point that "i shouldn't have these, i should be in jail" in regards to having almost naked pictures of the kids. Like it's not really okay??? In the original yea no one knew who GG was but they always knew it was someone their age. The teachers didn't care at those times. But they do now and I am not fully sure how okay it is.

And of course, the extras like some of the other teachers behind GG and the parents. We however, don't know too much about them as of now so we shall see soon. If any new characters are introduced they will be addressed but for now, onto the episode!

The half sisters plot is definitely interesting so I would love to know where the whole middle names thing will go. The story line I'm most interested in at the moment however is between Audrey, Max and Aki. I want to see that unwind into something horrendous but then beautiful! It has so much potential in my opinion. In terms of character development however i want to see who Julien is without all of her fame and followers. When the focus is not the media and the attention. I want to see that Julien.

The first episode definitely introduced us to a lot of things at once so far that is my take on them. I'm sure that in the future both the teachers and parents will be a bigger part but one thing is abundantly clear. Unlike the OGGG, there won't be more than maybe 2-3 seasons depending on the ages of the students. The teachers won't follow them onto college will they? Or will things drastically change along the way? It was rather amusing seeing them talk about all the old characters however, and reference the OG Gossip Girl. I am vaguely offended that they categorised twitter as "a glorified chatroom for memes for people over 30". Like dude. . . that hit me hard. I am happy that FB was never even mentioned as existing tho! Cause let's be honest that is not the "hip" thing anymore. But the rules they put down at the party definitely made my head spin. Had to listen to them twice to even get what was happening.

But that's probably enough of me babbling on about this xD If you want to find this on an apparently dying type of media, here's my blog post about it as well lol: https://acloudkat.wordpress.com/?p=960

[sootygoggles]

Parent!Paranoia Sanders Sides AU!

No explanation, but I'll probably give the backstory later. For now: memes of Paranoia being an A-class parent and a chaos gremlin. (okay it started as memes but then just ended up as fleshing the AU out)

~~

Paranoia, worried abt his kids: I'm uhhhh gonna go to my room see ya later light sides

Paranoia, sneaking back into the subconscious to check on his now teenaged children: I'm gonna leave duke a r a t that I found and thought looked cool

Duke, waking up the next morning and yelling for 'Nesty bc "HOLY CRAP NESTY LOOK AT THIS RAT ISN'T SHE ADORABLE I WANNA HANG HER ON THE WALL": !!!!!!!!!!

~~

Paranoia gets a habit of sitting on the fridge because his children were wild as kids and sometimes duke comin at you with a knife warrants jumping onto counters

~~

Nesty, who doesnt get paid to deal with duke: I'm raiding dads liquor cabinet it's my due for putting up with this

Paranoia, physically manifesting: put the key to the liquor cabinet D O W N, Honesty

~~

The lights are confused as to why he disappears at random times of the day and night and he just "leave me TF alone before I leave you a goshdarn diddly P R E S E N T while youre sleeping I'm tired"

~~

patton: my child! my dark strange son!!

paranoia, who has children: ,,,,yea ok

~~

Patton ticks him off so he leaves a big halloween decor spider on his bed and nobody sleeps for weeks after that bc pattons too scared to touch it and paranoia maybeperhaps glued it onto his cover

~~

He's like one of those people you know might mean well but ooooooo boy theyre pushin buttons

~~

Paranoia, whos fav animal/insect is spiders and whose children have tarantulas and snakes on the regular: hes not even realistic!! You need to learn to get along with mr sparkles patton!! look at him. he's fluffy!

~~

He has googly eyes and glitter on him at all times of course hes named mr sparkles

~~

paranoia gets to be a little petty. as a treat

~~

Paranoia just carries bags of glitter around and whenever mr sparkles gets duller he takes mr sparkles to the kitchen counter and he dumps glitter on him

Logan and patton are tired of cleaning up bc paranoias just petty enough to make their counters eternally sparkly

~~

"why is there glitter all over the kitchen?"

paranoia, holding mr sparkles: :)

~~

Paranoia, after AA: I hate purple but they dont know that now do they

Paranoia is actually orange the last side is purple lol

~~

Chaos Gremlin dark sides and nobody is surprised bc paranoia raised them

~~

paranoia, going back to see his teen children after acting like a teen all day: what is up, fellow kids

honesty: i am going to lose it

~~

Wrath, coming to yell at them to keep it down: why are you purple I'm purple

Paranoia, cackling bc finally I can get out of this horrible color: *snaps fingers * I'M PARANOIA MOTHERTRUCKERS HAVE FUUUNNNNN I'M GONNA BE MAKING YOUR LIVES LIVING HELL FROM THIS POINT FORWARDS

~~

duke and nesty, pumped for halloween bc u l t i m a t e s p o o k: :D

paranoia, coming out in a traffic cone costume with a shit eating grin on his face: :D

~~

Paranoia, decorating for halloween bc "oh I'm sorry it's just the *sniffles * homesickness and we a l w a y s decorated for halloween" knowing full well all of his decorations are spider and witch themed bc they all like the salem witch trials

~~

He leaves ONE fake snake in romans cereal and the lights just. Lose it. Hes kicked back into the subconscious to be chaotic with his kids, no new side, just the hours upon hours of film hes gotten from the bugs hed placed around the unconscious and a plan for the next several movie nights

He gets back and honesty is w h e e z i n g bc he was watching through the cracks and they make a fail compilation of the light sides

It takes like two months for the lights to just go insane with him around not due to yknow paranoia but bc hes such a gremlin

~~

Patton asks if he was raised by wolves and he shoves mr sparkles at patton saying "take the issue of how I was raised up with my father, a-hole!!"

He doesnt actually curse he just yells "A-HOLE" so loud his kids can hear

~~

They dont find out he's a dad until hes summoned and hes making cookies or smt with the kids and hes in a bright orange stereotypical witch outfit,,, corset and all and an apron that says "worlds most chaotic dad" on the front

And hes talking to one of the kids like "duke you can only put dish soap in your batch nesty cant digest it like you can"

~~

Patton has an apron that says worlds least chaotic 'dad' courtesy of paranoia he made it himself(read: he stole pattons good apron and scribbled over it in sharpie)

~~

Paranoia is always close to cackling when around the lights bc theyre newbs to any chaos

~~

Roman and remus are twins but roman is the kind of kid to promptly forget abt anyone and logan n patton knew remus less than a day before he "disappeared" aka ran to the subconscious to explore and theyve just kinda blocked him out

~~

Logans fine with it and actually likes the decorations tho he has asked if they had to be so brightly coloured and if there had to be so much glitter

I say decorations but hes a secret gremlin at heart and is super close to snickering at all times bc of the pranks

~~

Also yes paranoia mildly dads roman it's great but he dads in an older sibling type way

~~

So pat and logan are all "hes fitting in as an older brother well" and they tell him abt their approval of his older brother chaos and hes just like "no this is how I am deal with it nothing to do with brothers" bc hes not telling them abt his kids he doesnt trust them

~~

Hes up at like midnight complaining with logan abt how patton doesnt let him be full chaos gremlin and logan says "mmmhmm did your parents in the dark side let you go wild with the chaos" and paranoia just,,,,, looks at him, dead in the eyes, and says "I dont have parents"

Cue logan being confusion

Paranoia, who genuinely didn't have parents: my parents are mr sparkles and the cat we've had for my entire life

Logan, who doesnt know they had a cat and is now worried bc "are you taking care of it???": ???

Paranoia: it's great for keeping the Others in line tho I just say "do your chores or no snuggle time with ms peregrin" and they do their chores while I'm making dinner

logan, incredibly confused: i don't know what you mean but ok

Paranoia: yeah theyre dumb but it's the level of dumb youd expect from my idiots

~~

Or he slips up and refers to them as his children/kids and logan, not realizing they have an Actual Father/Sons relationship/age difference(paranoias abt.late 20s early 30s, remus defies all logic and has been about 9-10 for a few years now, and dees like early teens) just says "huh how.interesting would it be to have to deal with people your age that immature" and paranoias just. "Y e a h t h e y r e t o t a l l y t h e s a m e a g e a s I a m"

~~

Duke is very much baby and upon seeing duke eating glue paranoia and honesty the idiots decided to try it too

theyre so dumb dsdhdhdhjsdh

They AREEE and paranoia, after discovering that duke has the h a r d i e s t immune system they decide to test exactly what he can and cannot safely eat bc he may be dumb but hes also def a Dad and he just wants to take care of his kids and if that includes making sure that duke can safely consume toilet bleach then so be it

Duke can eat almost anything short of actual cyanide but cyanide just makes him sick like stomach bug sick

He somehow gets a fever,,,,, he has it for like half an hour and paranoia is amazed

Hes in bed,,,,, paranoia makes him soup,,,,,, hes all better and running around again

~~

Paranoias parenting rules:

Dont murder your brothers pls

Do your chores or no snuggle time with ms peregrin

Glitter is always a yes

Insults are fine just make sure you dont overstep and make your brothers insecure

all of them are printed and then the last one is scrawled at the bottom in

If you get sick, tell him immediately bc he will find out and he will be the most obsessive parent to make sure you feel better ASAP

If your pronouns/name/function change, tell him immediately, he'll make sure you dont feel uncomfortable as well as he can

Duke dont put dish soap in honestys baked goods you know he cant digest it

It's a nice system for making chaos but keeping it manageable

They're all printed then the last one's scrawled in glitter gel pen and duke wrote a reply that said (I'm sorry yall dont have as good an immune system as I do)

There was a whole passive aggressive arguement on the bulletin for the next week before it got taken down to make room for dukes art

They eventually started just putting them up over each other and using magnets instead of thumbtacks

The entire bottom portion of the walls are painted in chalkboard paint so theres no unerasable drawing on the walls and the rest of the paint is magnetic so they can hang pieces everywhere

Dukes improving rapidly tho and doesnt like looking at his old art all the time so paranoia holds onto the drawings in several filing cabinets in case he ever wants to do redraws or needs his original prints to make something in the Imagination

also bc,,, sentimental

jus a little

Yeah bc "yes my child draws nothing but blood gore and new animals but hes a creative genius and I love all of his art"

~~

Roman: anxiety I can see why you left

Paranoia: ??? What?? It's spoopy season??

Roman: there was BLOOD on the WALLS

Paranoia, internally: oh!!!! Duke perfected his blood recipe!!!!

Paranoia, externally: how did it taste?

Roman: WHO TASTES THE BLOOD ON THE WALLS?!?!

Paranoia: if it tasted like lemons or citrus you need to stay off of most foods, stick to crackers and broth- don't eat anything heavy until you're sure you wont throw it up

Patton, who was making cereal: ????

~~

Also!!!! @iliveinprocrasti-nation Thanks for helping me flesh this AU out!!!

[engineering]

How Reblogs Work

The reblog is a beautiful thing unique to Tumblr -- often imitated, but never successfully reproduced elsewhere. The reblog puts someone else's post on your own Tumblr blog, acting as a kind of signal boost, and also giving you the ability to add your own comment to it, which your followers and anyone looking at the post's notes will see. Reblogs can also be reblogged themselves, creating awesome evolving reblog trails that are the source of so many memes we love. But what is a reblog trail versus a reblog tree, and how does it all work under the hood?

A "reblog tree" starts at the original post (we call it the "root post" internally at Tumblr) and extends outwards to each of its reblogs, and then each reblog of those reblogs, forming a tree-like structure with branches of "reblog trails". As an example, you can imagine @staff​ making a post, and then someone reblogging it, and then others reblogging those reblogs. I can even come through and reblog one of the reblogs:

A "reblog trail" is one of those branches, starting at the original post and extending one at a time down to another post. In the reblog trail, there may actually be some reblogs that added their own content and some that didn't -- reblogs that added content are visible in the trail, while the intermediate ones that didn't may not be visible.

You'll notice that the reblog trail you're viewing somewhere (like on your dashboard) doesn't show all of this reblog tree -- only part of it. If you open up the notes on any wildly popular post, you'll probably see lots of reblogs in there that you aren't seeing in your current view of the post's reblog trail. The above diagram shows the whole reblog tree (which you don't see) and the current reblog trail you're actually viewing (in orange). If you want to visualize a post's entire reblog tree, the reblog graphs Tumblr Labs experiment shows off these reblog trees and trails as kind of big floppy organisms. They're a useful visualization of how content percolates around Tumblr via reblogs. You can turn on the experiment and see it on web only right now, but here's an example:

The tiny orange dot is the post we're viewing, and the green line is a reblog trail showing how the post got reblogged along many blogs. And there are tons of other branches/trails from the original post, making dozens of different reblog trails. This is a much larger, more realistic example than my simplified diagrams above. You can imagine that my diagram above is just the start of one of these huge reblog trees, after more and more people have reblogged parts of the existing tree.

Storing Reblog Trail Information

The way we actually store the information about a reblog and its trail has changed significantly over the last year. For all posts made before this year, all of a post's content was stored as a combination of HTML and properties specific on our Post data model. A specific reblog also stored all of the contents of its entire reblog trail (but not the whole reblog tree). If you have ever built a theme on Tumblr or otherwise dug around the code on a reblog, you'll be familiar with this classic blockquote structure:

<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://maria.tumblr.com/post/5678">maria</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://cyle.tumblr.com/post/1234">cyle</a>:</p> <blockquote> <!-- original post content --> <p>look at my awesome original content</p> </blockquote> <!-- the reblog of the original post's content --> <p>well, it's just okay original content</p> </blockquote> <!-- this is the new content, added in our reblog of the reblog --> <p>jeez. thanks a lot.</p>

This HTML represents a (fake) old text post. The original post is the blockquote most deeply nested in the HTML: "look at my awesome original content" and it was created by cyle. There's a reference to the original post's URL in the anchor tag above its blockquote tag. Moving out one level to the next blockquote is a reblog of that original post, made by maria, which itself adds some of its own commentary to the reblog trail. Moving out furthest, to the bottom of the HTML, is the latest reblog content being added in the post we're viewing. With this structure, we have everything we need to show the post and its reblog trail without having to load those posts in between the original and this reblog.

If this looks and sounds confusing, that's because it is quite complex. We're right there with you, but the reasons behind using this structure were sound at the time. In a normal, traditional relational database, you'd expect something like the reblog trail to be represented as a series of references: a reblog post references its parent post, root post, and any intermediate posts, and we'd load those posts' contents at runtime with a JOIN query or something very normalized and relational like that, making sure we don't copy any data around, only reference it.

However, the major drawback of that traditional approach, especially at Tumblr's scale, is that loading a reblog could go from just one query to several queries, depending on how many posts are in the reblog trail. Some of the reblog trails on Tumblr are thousands of posts long. Having to load a thousand other posts to load one reblog would be devastating. Instead, by actually copying the reblog trail content every time a reblog is made, we keep the number of queries needed constant: just one per post! A dashboard of 20 reblogs loads those 20 posts, not a variable amount based on how many reblogs are in each post's trail. This is still an oversimplification of what Tumblr is really doing under the hood, but this core strategy is real.

Broken Reblog Trails

There is another obvious problem with the above blockquote/HTML strategy, one that you may have not realized you were seeing but you've probably experienced it before. If the only reference we have in the reblog trail above is a trail post's permalink URL, what happens if that blog changes its name? Tumblr does not go through all posts and update that name in every copy of every reblog that blog has ever been involved in. Instead, it gracefully fails, and you may see a default avatar there as a placeholder. We literally don't have any other choice, since no other useful information is stored with the old post content.

At worst, someone else takes the name of a blog used in the trail. Imagine if, in the above example, oli changed his blog name to british-oli and someone else snagged the name oli afterwards. Thankfully in that case, the post URL still does not work, as the post ID is tied to the old oli blog. The end result is that it looks like there's a "broken" item in the reblog trail, usually manifesting as the blog looking deactivated or otherwise not accessible. This isn't great.

As a part of the rollout of the Neue Post Format (NPF), we changed how we store the reblog trail on each post. For fully NPF reblog trails, we actually do store an immutable reference to each blog and post in the trail, instead of just the unreliable post URL. This allows us to have a much lower failure rate when someone changes their blog name or otherwise becomes unavailable. We keep the same beneficial strategy of usually having all the information we need so we don't need to load any of those posts along the trail, but the option to load the individual post or blog is there if we absolutely need it, especially in cases like if one of those blogs is somebody you're blocking.

If you've played around with reblog trails in NPF, you'll see the result of this change. The reblog trail is no longer a messy nested blockquote chain, but instead a friendly and easy to parse JSON array, always starting with the original post and working down the trail. This includes a special case when an item in the trail is broken in a way we can't recover from, which happens sometimes with very old posts.

The same reblog trail and new content as seen above, but in the Neue Post Format:

{ "trail": [ { "post": { "id": "1234", }, "blog": { "name": "cyle" }, "content": [ { "type": "text", "text": "look at my awesome original content" } ], "layout": [] }, { "post": { "id": "3456", }, "blog": { "name": "maria" }, "content": [ { "type": "text", "text": "well, it's just okay original content" } ], "layout": [] } ], "content": [ { "type": "text", "text": "jeez. thanks a lot." } ] }

Got questions?

If you've ever wondered how something works on Tumblr behind the scenes, feel free to send us an ask!

- @cyle 

[aion-rsa]

E3: 20 Best and Worst Moments, Reveals, and Announcements

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E3 may have started as an industry show designed to give developers and publishers the kind of public platform that they were previously denied, but over the years, it’s become clear that the show is really all about memorable moments.

It’s sometimes easy to confuse one E3 event for another or forget which games were revealed in which year, but the thing you never forget are those moments that nearly stopped the show. While said moments certainly include shocking reveals and incredible trailers, anyone who has watched E3 over the years knows that this event is also often defined by moments so bad that they bury themselves in your brain and refuse to leave.

From wonderful presenters who remind us why we love video games to the horrors of giving Jamie Kennedy a microphone, these are the best and worst E3 moments ever:

20. Konami’s Unbelievably Bad Press Conference (E3 2010)

Konami hasn’t exactly been at the top of their game lately, but with the possible exception of the Hideo Kojima fiasco, the company’s lowest public moment has to be this truly terrible E3 2010 press conference. 

It’s like Konami gave all of their presenters different drugs, a live microphone, and only the vaguest hint of what they were actually supposed to be talking about. Between the luchadors that start slapping each other for a few minutes and Thomas Nagano pretending that he had been decapitated, this conference is nearly impossible to watch if you’re at all opposed to acts of public speaking awkwardness.

19. Ikumi Nakamura Delights the World (E3 2019)

While it’s understandable that so many companies heavily script their E3 press conferences, that strategy sometimes results in the entire event coming across as frustratingly disingenuous. Nothing kills the buzz around a big new game quite like having to hear another executive dryly talk about quarterly reports and insider tech jargon.

That’s what makes Ikumi Nakamura’s speech during Bethesda’s E3 2019 conference so special. Nakamura may have described herself as “nervous,” but the energy that she brought to the stage that night can only be described as genuine. I don’t know why more speakers can’t have this much fun with their E3 presentations, but then again, most speakers aren’t Ikumi Nakamura.

18. Keanu Reeves Takes Our Breath Away (E3 2019)

The history of celebrity presenters at E3 is…not great. While most E3 celebrities try their best (with some notable exceptions we’ll discuss in a bit), it’s hard for them to shake the vibe that they are there for a paycheck and that we all just need to get through this together. 

Then there’s Keanu Reeves. Moments after the world learned that Reeves would play Johnny Silverhand in Cyberpunk 2077, the star walked out onto the E3 2019 stage and received the kind of applause pop typically not heard outside of pro wrestling arenas. This was just the perfect combination of timing, star power, and delivery that most E3 celebrities couldn’t hope to match.

17. “Mr. Caffeine” Takes Awkward Presentations to a New Level (E3 2011)

Look, Aaron “Mr. Caffeine” Priceman might just be the worst E3 presenter ever. His strangely offensive humor and forced energy have inspired some to compare him to The Office’s Michael Scott, but that honestly gives this guy too much credit. There is not a moment of genuine entertainment to be found in his entire speech. 

What’s really fascinating about Priceman’s presentation all these years later, though, is the popular belief that Ubisoft or Priceman may have actively been trying to troll the audience for reasons that remain unknown. Maybe Priceman went rogue on the live mic, or maybe someone at Ubisoft just wanted to get fired. There just has to be an explanation for…whatever this was. 

16. Davide Soliani Reminds us Why We Love E3 (E3 2017)

Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle may not have been the biggest reveal at E3 2017, but watching creative director Davide Soliani cry when Shigeru Miyamoto took the stage to praise him and the game he worked on will rightfully remain the most memorable moment from that event. 

While most of us would cry if Miyamoto addressed us during the biggest show of the year, the genuineness and suddenness of Soliani’s reaction really helped sell Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle in a way that no trailer or speech ever could have. It certainly didn’t hurt that the actual game eventually captured the joy of this pure moment. 

15. Microsoft’s Painfully Long Kinect Reveal (E3 2010)

You can’t talk about defining E3 moments without including at least one botched peripheral reveal, but which botched peripheral reveal to choose? Joe McHale awkwardly suffering through a game of Ubisoft’s Battle Tag? Sony almost sinking their brand with the infamous Wonderbook? Wii Music…Wii Music?

In the end, this honor goes to the Kinect reveal for the simple fact that Microsoft chose to devote so much of their 2010 E3 stage time to show off a device that clearly wasn’t ready for primetime. It’s one thing that the Kinect often didn’t work properly during the presentation – that’s fairly standard for E3 failures – but the moment that a parade of unenthusiastic participants bombarded the stage to participate in awkward white water rafting, fake popcorn eating, and extended yoga sessions, Microsoft ensured that everyone in attendance was not going to buy a Kinect out of sheer spite.

14. Gabe Newell Appears During Sony’s E3 Conference (E3 2010)

The word “surreal” has joined the likes of “epic” in the category of “Words that the people of the internet have collectively watered down.” Whereas surreal used to be used to describe a situation so out of the ordinary that it’s almost dreamlike, now surreal can be used to describe seeing someone eating a Whopper at McDonald’s.

So far as truly surreal E3 moments go, however, Gabe Newell’s 2010 appearance has to be near the top of the list. At a time when Valve was considered to be one of the most clandestine game studios in the world, the god of the PC master race himself took the stage at a Sony press conference of all things to announce that Portal 2 was coming to the PlayStation 3. While the sight of Gabe at E3 on a competitor’s stage was odd enough, this moment has only become even more surreal as time wears on and Valve slowly shuffles away from the whole game development thing.

13. Bethesda Hosts the Perfect Press Conference (E3 2015)

While non-console manufacturers getting their own E3 conference wasn’t entirely unheard of by the time that Bethesda took the stage at E3 2015, it was a bit unusual for all but the industry’s most powerful manufacturers to get their own stage time at the biggest event of the year. Sure, Bethesda was a fairly beloved game developer, but an entire E3 press conference devoted to the studio? How was that going to work?

Bethesda showed everyone exactly how it was going to work by pulling off what could arguably be described as the perfect E3 press conference. It began with shockingly good footage of Doom, continued with the much-anticipated debut of Dishonored 2, and concluded with a Fallout 4 reveal that was made all the more shocking by the announcement that the game would be released in a few months. Bethesda’s 2015 presentation set a new gold standard for game-focused conferences and proved that the right studio could steal the show from anyone.

12. Reggie Fils-Aime Introduces Himself to the Gaming World (E3 2004)

It’s not that there hadn’t been memorable Nintendo E3 moments before 2004, but rather that many of the studio’s most memorable E3 moments earned that distinction for all the wrong reasons. Nintendo had long struggled to properly present themselves within the constraints of the E3 format while Sony and Microsoft were well on their way to mastering the subtle art of the E3 press conference.

That all changed the very moment that Reggie Fils-Aime kicked off Nintendo’s E3 2004 press conference by saying, “My name is Reggie. I’m about kicking ass, I’m about taking names, and we’re about making games.” Fils-Aime gave Nintendo an undeniably charismatic on-stage presence that none of their previous E3 conferences had benefited from. While many of Reggie’s quips would go on to become internet memes (most notably, “My body is ready”) there is no denying that he became the centerpiece for one of the greatest E3 presentations any major studio has ever given.

11. Kevin Butler Delivers the Only Funny Presentation in E3 History (E3 2010)

For a brief period of time, the world got to enjoy the genius that was the Kevin Butler marketing campaign. For those who don’t remember, Kevin Butler was a fictional PlayStation executive who starred in a series of commercials that featured him answering various questions from PlayStation fans. They were genuinely funny and clever adverts that broke the mold of awkward video game commercials in a big way.

While actor Jerry Lambert’s appearance at E3 2010 as the one and only Kevin Butler could have been an utter disaster, it instead turned out to be one of the few attempts at a funny E3 presentation that was actually funny. Actually, it might be the only comedic E3 presentation to not completely bomb. Butler quip that “Gaming is having a ridiculously huge TV in a tiny one-bedroom apartment” and still lives in infamy.

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10. Jamie Kennedy Secures His Status As the Worst E3 Celebrity Presenter Ever (E3 2007)

On the complete opposite end of the Kevin Butler presentation, we have Mr. Jamie Kennedy. Now, some of you fortunate souls may have never heard of Kennedy. If that is the case, just know that Kennedy was a self-stylized comedian who specialized in mocking other people. For instance, if he noticed you were a larger individual, he may make a remark about your excess fat and proceed to make a 50-year-old observation about how it could affect your daily life. He presumably made millions of dollars doing this.

Kennedy’s career low point may be the moment that he drunkenly took the stage at Activision’s E3 2007 conference and proceeded to put on a miniature comedy spectacle that only those with an abnormal tolerance for awkward comedy will ever be able to watch in full. It was bad enough that Kennedy wasn’t funny (“Neversoft…wasn’t that the first name for Viagra?”), but when he resorted to insulting the audience and industry, he ensured that he would become the gold standard for awkward E3 celebrity presenters.

9. The Final Fantasy VII Remake Genuinely Surprises Millions (E3 2015)

At a certain point, video game wishes turn into inside jokes. The most obvious example of this phenomenon is certainly Half-Life 3, but there are many games which fans dream of and talk about for so long that they eventually become memes. For years, Final Fantasy VII‘s remake was such a game. Square Enix had used footage of such a title as part of a tech demo, but fans long stopped believing the studio would actually make it.

That is until E3 2015 when Final Fantasy fans across the world were suddenly looking at a very real remake of Final Fantasy VII. This is a deceivingly simple moment in the history of E3 that is amplified by just how rare it is for a game like Final Fantasy VII to actually appear at E3. While the remake still isn’t out yet – which is rarely a great sign – the moment of the reveal itself really summarizes why E3 is sometimes a very special event

8. Half-Life 2 Exceeds Impossible Expectations (E3 2003)

In 2003, Half-Life 2 was about as mythical to the average gamer as Half-Life 3 is now. Most people knew that Valve was going to release a new Half-Life, but few felt that there was any chance of the sequel surpassing the standard the original had set. Half-Life was one of the most revolutionary games ever made. To convince everyone that Half-Life 2 was going to be just as special, Valve would have needed to put together quite the presentation.

So, that’s what they did. The first Half-Life 2 footage showcased things that gamers simply had never seen before. True physics-based combat, the innovative gravity gun, A.I. that felt dynamic, and seamless cinematic storytelling all highlighted a roughly 20-minute video that left gamers feeling like they’d just seen the exciting future of the industry play out before their eyes. It’s everything you hope a major game reveal will be.

7. A Single Battle Nearly Determines the Xbox One/PlayStation 4 Console War (E3 2013)

At E3 2013, Microsoft and Sony were scheduled to reveal their respective next-gen consoles. Microsoft, who was coming off the wildly successful Xbox 360, kicked off the festivities with an Xbox One presentation that many have since described as the company’s biggest failure. The initial Xbox One design was not only expensive and reliant on the controversial Kinect but required users to always be online, wasn’t backward compatible, and may or may not have allowed people to play used games. It was a spectacular PR disaster.

Sony followed that up with a PS4 reveal that was simply sublime. Not only was the PlayStation 4 cheaper than the Xbox One, but Sony even modified its planned conference in ways that allowed them to take plenty of shots at Microsoft’s failed Xbox One reveal. It was a presentation designed to please the masses and it succeeded in every way possible. While many E3s feature console war battles, few battles have ever ended up dictating the success of individual consoles quite the way that this one did.

6. For Better and Worse, the Halo 2 Reveal Sets a New Standard (E3 2003)

You had to be around for Halo to truly appreciate what Halo meant. Halo not only gave millions a reason to buy the Xbox; it showed those same gamers that consoles could offer up a first-person shooter experience largely free from compromise. It was a unique title that became a true phenomenon in a matter of weeks. Needless to say, the hype surrounding an eventual sequel was at a fevered pitch by the time E3 2003 rolled around.

The Halo 2 reveal represents the good and bad of E3 game reveals. The good is obviously the moment of the reveal itself. The first footage of Halo 2 received an audible “pop” of applause typically reserved for major moments during championship games. It was a wave of relief and anticipation just gushing out at full force. On the bad side of things is what happened after the incredible footage aired. Bungie later admitted that they could not replicate the footage that they showed at E3 and had to basically rebuild Halo 2 from scratch. The success of the Halo 2 reveal and the unreasonable hype it generated has come to be all too typical.

5. The Zelda: Twilight Princess Trailer Caps off Nintendo’s Greatest E3 Presentation (E3 2004)

It’s easy to make fun of Nintendo. Fun, too. For instance, one could say something like, “Why did Nintendo cross the road? Because it was the least efficient way possible of getting to where they were going.” For as many, many mistakes as Nintendo has made at E3 over the years, the company’s 2004 presentation stands as the company’s one perfect presentation. Not only did it feature the aforementioned Reggie Fils-Aime introduction, but it introduced gamers to the Nintendo DS (arguably the greatest handheld gaming device ever made) and even offered up the first public reference to the console that would become the Nintendo Wii.

However, the best was certainly saved for last. At a time when many Zelda fans were still upset that Nintendo had abandoned a more mature style of Zelda game in favor of Wind Waker’s Saturday morning cartoon visuals, Nintendo came along and debuted the decidedly mature and dark first trailer for Twilight Princess. The reveal was topped off by Shigeru Miyamoto gracing the stage with shield and sword gleefully in hand. It was the kind of moment that only Nintendo could deliver.

4. Killzone 2’s First Footage Kicks Off 12+ Years of Trailer Controversy (E3 2005)

In many ways, E3 is about hope. Those that watch it are certainly hoping they will see great games revealed for the first time, but they also hope that E3 will show them something entirely unexpected. Not a game or a console necessarily, but rather a brief glimpse into an unimaginable future. In 2005, Sony offered that window into the future when they revealed the first trailer for Killzone 2. To say that Killzone 2 looked better than any other game on the market at that time would be a drastic understatement. Killzone 2 looked like it was hand-delivered from 10 years into the future.

Actually, that’s not too far off. Right after the Killzone 2 footage stopped rolling, speculation concerning the authenticity of the footage began. The conversation that followed included phrases like “in-engine footage” that have now become all too commonplace in a world where doctored trailers are perfectly normal. For better or worse, the Killzone 2 footage was a true innovator.

3. Sony Almost Kills the PlayStation Brand with One Awful Presentation (E3 2006)

We’ve picked on Microsoft’s bad E3 presentations a couple of times throughout this list – with good reason, mind you – but in the interest of complete fairness, let’s talk about why no company’s E3 presentation will ever be quite as disastrous as Sony’s E3 2006 spectacular. Sony’s 2006 E3 conference revolved around the formal reveal of the PlayStation 3. Given that the PlayStation 2 was far and away the world’s most popular console, the reveal of the PlayStation 3 should have been a simple way for Sony to retain its market dominance.

Instead, they seemingly went out of their way to sink the PlayStation name. It began humbly enough with the reveal of the PlayStation 3’s gaudy $599 price point (for the top tier model) and continued when the Genji development team promised to show us a game based on authentic Japanese history before revealing footage of players attacking a giant enemy crab’s glowing weak point for massive damage. This is also the conference that gave us the “Riiiiiiddddgggee Racer!” meme, the world’s dullest tech footage, and the promise of a gimmick-free console that was immediately undone by the introduction of three or four major console gimmicks.

2. Metal Gear Solid 2 Makes Games the Star of E3 (E3 2000)

In its early days, E3 was much more of a traditional industry trade show. While early E3 conventions featured occasional surprises, big announcements, and all the usual spectacle, the first E3 shows didn’t really emphasize the excitement of individual game reveals. Generally speaking, technology and industry ruled the day.

In many ways, Metal Gear Solid 2 changed that dynamic. The Metal Gear Solid 2 trailer shown at E3 2000 was long (over 19 minutes), traditionally cinematic, and entirely devoid of developer voiceover. It wasn’t quite the kind of trailer you’d expect to precede the release of a major film, but it was certainly different from any game trailer released before it. Even people who didn’t care about Metal Gear Solid walked away from the event talking about this footage. From that point on, developers knew that a single game could dominate E3 headlines.

1. Sony Establishes Two Dynasties with a Single Number (E3 1995)

In some ways, it’s appropriate that the very first E3 featured the definitive E3 moment. Then again, given how much E3 has evolved over the years, it’s also somewhat surprising that no moment has ever topped this showstopping reveal.

It began with the Sega Saturn. Sega took to the humble E3 1995 stage and debuted a sizzle reel of all the great things the Sega Saturn could do and how it would change the world forever. It was your standard E3 presentation complete with awkward live-action segments. Shortly thereafter, a Sega exec informed those in attendance that they could purchase the Sega Saturn right now for the low price of $399. He then confidently exited the stage at which point the gentleman from Sony took to the platform, said “$299,” and exited. By undercutting the Sega Saturn by $100, Sony sealed the fate of the Sega Saturn in North America. In the process, they kicked off an entirely new era of gaming and established E3 as the one must-watch show every year.

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[citialiin]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm. tagged by: @forseenclade thank you ! man i am so bad at doing memes.  tagging: @blossomingbeelzebug @zhrets @lupichorous @dansiere yayayayayayayaya

My muse is:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated [ z/iggy stardust is DEFINITELY not my original character, but 683 is, and every single part of how i rp ziggy from his backstory to his personality was made up by me. that being said, ziggy is still a character that exists in media. ]

Is your character popular in the fandom?  YES / NO. [ im pretty sure ziggy is tied with the thin white duke as one of b*wie’s most famous fictional personas? ]

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES ? / NO / IDK.

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK.

Are they underrated?  YES / NO / IDK. [ maybe a little overrated ]

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main character?  YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.

Are they widely known in their world?  YES / NO.

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. [ celebrity rock god of limitless talent vs inevitable overrated washup. most celebrities are polarizing anyways ]

How strictly do you follow canon?  — there isnt much canon to go off of i think? the album barely even states if ziggy is an alien and b*wie himself got really wishy washy about it (sometimes saying z is a human who was contacted by aliens, he was an alien himself, etc). i dont think we know anything about him besides what he looks like (red hair / weird eyes / pale / “well hung” lmao) and he has a band called the spiders from mars, he plays the guitar left handed, he’s bisexual + androgynous, and he’s charming and popular with the teens but inevitably is a victim of his own ego. and he dies.  that too.  but that’s literally it! we know Nothing else about him.  so i filled in all the gaps because my brain has worms.  theres a little bit of the story that verges on fantasy (that he’s some sort of messiah messenger for “the infinites,” whatever the fuck THAT means, david) so i nix that because i prefer hard scifi.  and theres one BIG part that i just ... deleted out of his canon, in that the world is ending in 5 years in his timeline, and he’s like ... aware of this ?  but that’s dumb and confusing.  i legit dont care anymore. my OC now.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —  im so embarrassed i know i could be genuine and actually try but i have brain blockajjolajlakala33lak33klak333ak3jka3akjj323j3 i guess it’s like ... ziggy is truly the ultimate expression OF humanity because he reveals everything both wrong and right about the human condition, he literally embodies the best of humanity and the worst at the same time, he’s a really interesting critique on the idea of genuineness/earnestness vs commercalism in art, the perils of fame, and also how humans are so inherently corrupting?  a lot of thematic stuff i like exploring is like what is innate to humans vs what is learned behavior, what are things that humans do naturally that ziggy mimics out of his desire to be like us?  i think he has a really good story arc -- he went from being a literal nameless CLONE in a society full of pragmatic forward thinking science-oriented people to a sell out rockstar celebrity in a society of people that value individualism and self expression and art, but in the process completely lost his mind and himself and gave into the worst that humanity has to offer like rampant selfishness, drug abuse, self destructive tendencies, etc. characters changing is always interesting and ziggy truly changes for the worse -- but he is never just black and white, he was never good and then suddenly evil, he just was always the same person putting on different facades and trying to be himself by constructing an identity that maybe was who he wanted to be versus who he actually is.  i dont know what im talking about. hes just an alien trying to be too hard to be human in all the wrong ways.   i just like how “gray” ziggy is. he isnt good or bad, he can be very nice and he can be very mean, he’s overtly showboating confident but at the same time deeply afflicted with self-consciousness (why tf else would anyone be So obsessed with how they present themselves?).  hes an icon of individualism but also commercialism.  he’s freakishly alien but is almost more human than humans themselves.  he struggles as lot in his head -- which makes for interesting writing, i guess !!  Im so emabrrased im not going to go back and read what i wrote so if i typoed dont look at me

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  —  i think ziggy comes across as really mean and nothing else.  his horrible bitchy rudeness comes across as hee hee hoo hoo sassy isnt he a rascal when it’s supposed to be more like ... he’s so far gone into the celebrity delusion he’s conflated aggressive rudeness with charmingness because no one told him otherwise and everyone worships him to the point where he’s just given into the delusion that he can do no wrong.  i think theres the general simplification problem that happens with a lot of fictional characters, it’s easy to see him as just a whacky sassy glittery quirky rockstar when i guess it avoids the inherent tragedy of like ... everything else about him. his totally fake and false sense of identity built up from superficial things like fame and labels and stardom.  maybe my version of ziggy is just too weirdly depressing and sad when i know his original iteration wasn’t quite so ... grim.  im not very sure tbh.  

What inspired you to rp your muse?  —  hmmm ... a lot of things! i just really got into b*wie stuff in early 2019, i’ve ALWAYS loved aliens and sci-fi, and i was really shocked that db sets up such great visual storytelling potential but does it through music.  i just really liked ziggys “story” and i like any chance to think about aliens so i just got invested into piecing together a little backstory for him using, like, the cumulative knowledge of literally every other piece of science fiction ive ever consumed in my life.  this was summer 2019 when i was making initial pitches for my thesis film, and so i just randomly decided to pitch “animated version of ziggy stardust” as one of the potential ideas.  shockingly everyone liked it a lot and so did my professor who thought it was really cool, and then i just ended up sticking with the character and working on him for an entire year.  ziggy became my hobby but also my homework.  he was such a fun character because everything about him was interesting to me and i had just enough source material to have a starting point but so much room to take him in any direction i wanted to.

What keeps your inspiration going?  —  honestly, yooooou guyssssss. i have some really amazing fwends that ive met thru here .... and some of our dumb stupid stories have literally become NOVEL length. it just self generates inspiration because you realize the limitless amount of stories you could tell with this one single character when your character enters his story or he enters their story and etc. etc.  ive drawn endless amounts of comics and stuff for him ... ziggy is just so endlessly interesting ...   cringe be cringed bro but recently (i know this sounds dumb bear with me or die.) ive kind of realized a lot of how i rp z comes as some metaphor for the experience of being an asian immigrant/being asian in the US -- his home “culture” is a lot stricter than the rampant selfish individualism of the usa (he only lives in the uk and usa, so he thinks the whole planet is like this), he’s dissuaded from standing out from his community and his selfishness becomes a community burden rather than a personal flaw, and when he does come to earth, he goes through such awful culture shock, literally nothing makes sense to him and everything is Different.  and while some things are different in a Nice way, something things are different in an Awful way, and he’s given the option between losing his true personal identity as an atominan and giving it up to be a human.  the allure of being a human is a little too much but losing yourself like this is traumatic, in a way.  obvs like ... a little silly and definitely not something that i actively intended to put into his story arc, its just something that fell into place cuz i guess i worked so closely with my own personal experiences and feelings of “alienation” (pun intended) to try to understand how he would feel being a literal alien an shid. its cathartic to write about him. but he also has a lot of my own personal interests just thrown in -- 70s fashion, scifi, science, tryhard implications about human nature, art history, whatever dumb nonsense i get into

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO / SOMETIMES?

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO  [ i would prefer information to spring up organically in the story but cuz threads always get dropped i end up just telling people outright. i didnt want anyone to know his home planet/his old name but barely anyone writes enough with ziggy to get to that point to reveal it (i legit managed to do it organically Once) so i just had to write it in a post lmao orz ]

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO [ wrote a ton of drabbles ! drew a ton of comics! ]

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO 

Are you confident in your portrayal?   YES / NO / I DUNNO?

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / HAHA NO.

Are you a sensitive person?  YES  / NO. / IDK ? 

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  —  definitely!  like i said ... my version of ziggy ended up being the protag of my thesis film and for 1 yr straight his characterization, backstory, design, and even how i wanted to animate his fucking movements (ziggy stardust timing charts.) were beaten to death in a classroom environment, torn apart and rebuilt into something better.  had i stayed with what i originally wanted to go with, ziggy would be so different than how i write him 2day. amazingly my pre production professor is a literal two time emmy award winning storyboard artist and animator so he definitely helped me design him (my version of ziggy is meant for ... a cartoon, obviously, not real life) and give him a better backstory?  and my post production professor is a retired disney animator who worked on hercules and a bunch of old disney channel shows?  had i gone wah wah wah i dont want to hear ur critiques i wouldnt have made him better.  if you ever think ziggy seems inconsistent or poorly written ... tell me !! i literally major in ... animation. cartoons. entertainment.  my job is to entertain you. if you are not entertained, there is a problem.  ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED ????

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  —  I LOVE QUESTIONS? i love ... answering questions ... if you ask me something ill come kiss you.

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  sure! i dont know why that would happen, though, because i mean ... he’s an OC. but i gues someone could be like “i feel like this is incongruous to things you’ve previously established in his character” or somethin

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  —  i feel like a lot of b*wie stans would find my version of ziggy weird but i mean thats fine!  i guess my goal is to have a well written character, not necessarily an accurate version of ziggy

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  —  if you hate MY version of ziggy thats fine but if u hate ziggy stardust in general (like the bowie concept) then u need some taste what the fuck is cooler than a egomaniac genderless bisexual rockstar alien with red hair? nothing. go back to watching your CW shows you dirty filthy normie

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  —  yes! dm me though. dont clown me on the dash like that.  i usually write your replies 12 AM - 4 AM so it’s expected.

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   —  hmmm ... maybe! i do like to talk to people and i am VERY nice, trust me, if youre ever sad ill do everything i can to make you feel better. but im quiet! i dont really reach out to people and i tend to just keep to myself.  im not very social or extroverted at all haha i barely can make ooc posts without feeling like god’s coming to beat my head in with a brick. im sitting here at 5:30 AM with this meme feeling like if i post it i will die (BUT I MUST)

[princess-of-the-corner]

Chloé as Ladybug AU

So I know some people have thought of this before but tbh now I’m thinking of it in a ‘what if this was taken seriously as a way for her to go through a redemption arc and grow as aperson instead of just using ‘she’s terrible and everyone hates her(especially Adrien)’ as the entire joke?’.

Anyway, onto the actual thing, starting with Origins:

Chloé somehow gets the Ladybug Miraculous instead of Marinette. Maybe accidentally, maybe Master Fu has some plans. IDK.

She’s super excited over the attention she would get as a Hero. Tikki warns her that she can’t reveal her identity, and she’s like ‘okay, fine, yeah that’s a superhero rule whatever.’. And since she isn’t transforming as part of her breakdown, she does stick to that.

immediately after she transforms and starts running around the city to get used to the powers/practice with the yoyo/etc.

Chloé runs into Chat Noir.

They immediately recognize eachother and are like the pointing Siderman meme

Legit though, they’re super excited to be heroes together. Bffs as Heroes! And yes, bffs, because I always headcanon them as sibling-like with Chloé faking her crush for a variety of reasons. But hey! With secret identities, you don’t have to do that!

As usual, Ivan becomes Stoneheart.

Chloé and Adrien treat it as more of a game, at first. I mean, they became Superheroes. Of course they think it’s gonna be fun. So they play it up, go ham, soak in the attention and play with the ‘personas’

They kinda realize through the fight that it might be harder than they thought. Because they are getting slammed around, and it starts to actually hurt. But they get through and win.

Then we have the later scene of ‘you remembered to purify the butterfly, right?’

Upon learning that she screwed up, Chloé snaps at Tikki. Telling her ‘how the hell was I supposed to know if you didn’t tell me? I’ve never done this before!’.

Logically, she knows that Tikki just forgot. But she feels like it was a set up for failure. And despite her ‘omg I’m the best’ persona she puts up, she is kind of scared that she’s not enough. That she’s never enough. And this brings that up.

As much as she tries to pretend , she kinda knows that she’s terrible and honestly doesn’t deserve to be a hero. And this just proves it. So she Rejects the Miraculous and Tikki disappears back into the earrings.

At school they’re all discussing the whole Stoneheart thing and Chloé kinda tries to help by saying ‘well, just don’t piss him off and he won’t go all giant monster again’. That doesn’t come out as intended.

Ivan becomes Stoneheart again, but this time Chloé manages to get out before she’s grabbed/

At first, she doesn’t join the fight. Why bother when she’ll screw it up again?

But she sees Chat Noir out there still trying(and kinda failing.) And she can’t leave him on his own.

When she puts the earrings on and Tikki comes back out, the Kwami apologizes for not telling her about the butterfly. And this… catches Chloé off guard. Because people never apologize sincerely to her.

A lot of times people refuse to apologize to her. More often than not, they are forced to apologize because she’s the Mayor’s Daughter and could ruin them if they didn’t. Sometimes, with her parents, it’s a brushed off apology. A ‘sorry not sorry’, ‘sorry you got upset by my totally justified actions’.

So to have Tikki genuinely apologize, it confuses her. Especially when Tikki acknowledges that Chloé might not be the best person, but she doesn’t have to be perfect. Still, she hopes she can be better, knows she can if she tries again.

Chloé goes to fight as Ladybug again, and this time, her version of the speech to Hawkmoth is basically ‘I might not be the perfect choice for this job, but by fuck I’m going to do it! I will never back down or give in to you!’.

Next day at school, when Chloé goes to sit down, she finds Marinette back in her seat. When she tells her to move, Marinette stands up to her, saying ‘maybe I’m not perfect like you think you are, but I’m not backing down or giving in to you anymore.’.

This has gone full roleswap. Marinette sees Ladybug as a hero and inspiration, and uses that as the courage to stand up for herself.

This, honestly, confuses the hell out of Chloé so much that she actually backs down for a minute.

There are two things that stop Chloé from retaliating immediately.

The first is what Tikki said, about believing she can be better. Part of her thinks ‘whatever. I know I’m terrible. I’ve resigned myself to that. And even if I try no one will believe or accept it’. But… Tikki is an ancient magical creature, the Kwami of Creation. She might be right.

The second thing, is when Adrien saw Marinette stand up to Chloé, he was immediately like ‘heart eyes motherfucker!’.

So, Adrien has a crush on Marinette. Though she hates him because of Chloé’s earlier gum prank. So Chloé decides to confront Marinette.

Mari is expecting a fight and absolutely squares up. But Chloé is just like ‘hey I wanna talk about the gum prank’.

Mari’s like ‘Are you… are you apologizing?. Chloé’s just like ‘oh god no that’d be ridiculous. I just wanted to tell you that Adrien isn’t a part of it.’.

She explains that while she is absolutely a terrible person and knows it, Adrien is sweet af and innocent in that.

While Mari is hesitant and thinks this might be Chloé setting her up, she does give Adrien a chance. Especially after he apologizes and she asks other students about the gum prank.

Marinette doesn’t develop her crush on Adrien. But they do become friends.

Chloé also stops pretending to have a crush on Adrien because he likes Mari, and while Chloé would never admit it, Mari is probably the one person who might be good enough for him now that she has confidence. So she actively encourages him to go for it.

In between episodes, Chloé invites Adrien over and he gets to meet Tikki, while Chloé gets to meet Plagg!

At first Tikki’s like ‘you arent’ supposed to tell anyone about the hero stuff!’, but they explain that they recognized each other immediately so, you know. It didn’t matter.

The Kwami allow it if only because it was accidental but they are happy that they can see each other whenever this time around!

Chloé gets along with Plagg very well, and Adrien gets along with Tikki just as easily. They jokingly are like ‘maybe we should switch’.

So, like, before we go on I want to talk about Chloé’s ‘Hero Persona’. Much like Adrien as Chat Noir, Chloé uses Ladybug to be different from herself. She plays into the Hero Persona bit, trying to be nice and encouraging as a Hero should be. Which is strange to her, but kind of fun.

It doesn’t always work because she isn’t used to it, and sometimes the snark comes out or her temper gets the better of her, or it turns into my ‘how valid is your reason for akumatization’ post. But honestly? The way people love her and look up to her as Ladybug is good. Almost addicting in a way. It’s not only attention but good attention of people loving her for things she does instead of hating her or pretending to love her for money/status.

This does eventually start leaking into her Civillian life, especially with encouragement from Adrien and Tikki. And Plagg, I guess. He’s a bit more like ‘eh, whatever, be salty kid.’

Okay, so, as for other episodes. Some would stay the same with the only thing that changes being it’s Chloé doing the fighting instead of Marinette, but others go very differently. So I’ll go through them.

Stormy Weather

Mostly no changes. There might be the fact that, since Marinette doesn’t have a crush on Adrien, she doesn’t go to his photoshoot and therefore she, Alya, and Manon don’t get caught in Stormy Weather’s attack. But that wasn’t too important.

The Bubbler

Both Adrien and Chloé put off hero duties to enjoy the party at first. However, once they find out that parents are getting sent to space they jump into action.

Since Marinette doesn’t have a crush on Adrien, she didn’t panic and forget to sign the present. She instead gives it to Adrien in-person, and Nathalie has to run out and buy something else to give Adrien.

The Pharaoh

Not much changes here, except it’s Chloé and Adrien going to the Egypt Exhibit instead of Marinette and Alya. Well, who knows. Those two might’ve shown up too. It’s a neat Exhibit.

Chloé wouldn’t have dropped her history book. I’m still not sure what the fuck was up with that in the show in the first place. Ladybug doesn’t have pockets! Well, actually, this version might…. Remind me to design Chloé’s Ladybug outfit sometime. Either way!! No textbook!!

Lady Wifi

Of course Alya still starts up the Ladyblog. But I had a few ideas of how this could go.

Option A is to continue the role reversal and have Alya think that Marinette is Ladybug. The problem here is that if Alya snoops through Mari’s stuff, Mari wouldn’t freak out and try to have Alya expelled.

Option B is to still have Alya on the right track with Chloé being Ladybug, and does the ‘snoop in her locker’ thing. Naturally Chloé panics and insists Alya be expelled for that. (Side note: I still insist that Chloé was entirely justified in her reaction to someone rooting around in her locker). Problem here is ‘how does Chloé get out of this one?’

Timebreaker

This goes pretty much the same. Four teenagers don’t have enough collective brainpower to think ‘a pocket watch goes in a pocket’, and Chloé comes in with the Crow Brain to look at the shiny thing. Watch gets dropped and broken, Akuma time.

There is the issue of Marinette being unable to use time travel to fix her issue of needing to be in two places at once, but either she hides from Timebreaker by going home and taking care of the problem, or Chloé(having softened up a bit and is being nice) gives a half-truth to cover for her, saying ‘oh, sorry, she was caught up in some Akuma business and couldn’t be here!’.

Mr. Pigeon

I still don’t understand what the fuck is up with this.

The Akuma part of the story is still the same, but the hat contest is probably different due to the shift in dynamics. Chloé is trying to be nicer and even if she tried to copy Marinette’s hat design, Tikki would talk her out of it.

Although, Adrien probably is really encouraging for Marinette because of his crush, and he really wants her to win.

Chloé actually does something nice, after noticing that Mari took inspiration from the Akuma of the day and added feathers. She goes up and warns her, ‘hey, Adrien’s going to be wearing the hat and he’s allergic to feathers you should use fake feathers’. Mari is a little suspicious because while Chloé’s been better lately she’s still Chloé. But since it was something simple like that and not an act of sabotage, she takes the advice.

Evillustrator

So, while Nath is still Akumatized due to his teacher being a bitch, the ‘Chloé teasing him’ goes a little different.

When she sees his sketchbook, her comment is to Adrien of ‘looks like you have some competition!’, cluing Nath into the fact that Adrien also has a crush on Marinette, and immediately bringing up some insecurities because, you know, Adrien is a literal model.

When he’s Akumatized, instead of going after Chloé for her teasing, he goes after Adrien for being a romantic rival.

However, once Ladybug and Chat Noir are on the scene, he can’t find Adrien or Chloé, so he heads over to Marinette’s house.

While that was happening, we still have the issue with Marinette trying to convince Sabrina that Chloé is a bad friend. Since Mari wasn’t interrupted by Ladybug stuff, Sabrina was actually with her and both are being held hostage by Evillustrator.

Chloé lures Evillustrator away while Chat Noir stays behind to protect the girls. It doesn’t entirely work, but Marinette offers to be ‘bait’. Both heroes are opposed to it, but she points out that Evillustrator will come back eventually.

Chat Noir goes out of his way to protect Marinette and is just overly sweet and maybe shows off a little bit and oh no now she has a crush on him. Chloé finds out about this and is fucking cackling because Adrien likes Marinette and she returns the feelings but she doesn’t know that!

After all of this, Chloé does realize that Marinette is right about the whole Sabrina situation. And as part of her ‘being better’ thing, apologizes and resolves to be a better friend. Sabrina is easily won over by just the apology, but Chloé is legit trying.

Rogercop

not sure how this would pan out tbh. The whole thing was kickstarted because Plagg stole Chloé’s bracelet thinking it was cheese. But in this AU, Adrien would be able to tell Chloé what happened because she knows about Plagg, and even if he couldn’t Chloé has Tikki in her purse so Tikki would tell her(if she didn’t already stop Plagg from being an idiot). And even if she didn’t know, Chloé wouldn’t let her bag be searched because of Tikki

Legit though this is probably the one I’m stuck on

Copycat

This wouldn’t be exactly the same. Assuming the same thing happened of Théo having a crush on this Ladybug, Chat wouldn’t be jealous of this crush since he likes Marinette, not Chloé. Maybe this one is either Chat tries to let the guy down gently that Chloé won’t like him back, but accidentally implies that he’s dating Ladybug?

Mari’s subplot wouldn’t be the same since she doesn’t have a crush on Adrien and wouldn’t leave an embarrassing voicemail.

Wait, maybe the tables are turned and in this AU Théo has a crush on Chat Noir, and Chloé is the one who pulls the ‘he is already in love with someone else’, accidentally implying it’s her. Meanwhile Chat is missing because Adrien is attempting to ask Marinette out on a date.

Dark Cupid

This is mostly the same. Kim confesses to Chloé and is rejected. She’d be less harsh in this AU, but she still rejected him so you know.

Dark Cupid does effect Friendship, so when Chat gets hit it turns against Chloé’s friendship. He honestly probably says some very harsh stuff about Chloé’s history as a bully. She pushes that aside for later.

I’m thinking that Chloé knows she needs Chat back, and decides to go the ‘true love’s kiss’ route. Which means Marinette. Who just so happened to be trying to figure out a way to get a valentine to Chat Noir.

After everything’s back to normal, Adrien apologizes for the stuff he said while under Dark Cupid’s spell. Chloé says he doesn’t have to, because he was right. While she’d been kinda edging toward being nicer, this is where it really hits her that she should try in her civilian life instead of just as Ladybug.

Horrificator

Goes mostly the same. Mylene is scared and gets Akumatized over it. Chloé is trying to help by pointing out ‘why are you in a monster movie if you’re going to get this scared by what you know is coming??’, but it comes out bad. Chloé does get a chance to apologize by the end.

She also isn’t helping by trying to set up Mari and Adrien for the kiss scene. Which confuses everyone because while they noticed that Chloé wasn’t all over Adrien they still think she’s ‘hopelessly in love with him’ and have no clue why she’s doing that

Darkblade

Mostly the same for the Akuma plot.

Chloé decides to not blackmail anyone since it’s part of being nicer. I’m debating about having her decide to give up being class representative since being Ladybug is cutting into her free time enough, but considering her stubornness and the fact that she might feel pressured into the role by her dad, she might still run but ultimately lose to Marinette who wins since there was no blackmail to hold her back.

The Mime

The Akuma plot is the same. The side plot might be tweaked in that, since Marinette can’t recreate the footage herself, she tracks down Chloé and asks for her to recreate the interview she accidentally deleted.

Kung Food

Since Chloé is actively being nicer by this point, she wouldn’t sabotage the soup. I mean, I guess maybe this could be the point where Marinette says something to piss her off and Chloé slips back into her old ways for a bit, but regrets it as soon as she realizes what she really did and that this goes further than just petty revenge on someone who insulted her.

Gamer

Possibly different. Marinette wouldn’t have a reason to enter the gaming competition, therefore Max wouldn’t lose and be Akumatized.

Maybe Marinette ends up entering anyway. Or maybe Adrien suggests that Chloé try competing too since she’s definitely good at video games. (TELL ME I’M WRONG. Adrien only had her as a friend for most of his life! How would he get good at a multiplayer game if he didn’t have someone to play against?!)

Animan

Again, the Akuma is the same but the B plot is different! Since Adrien has a crush on Marinette, and everyone besides Marinette knows it because the boy is not subtle, I’m thinking something different.

Option A is that Nino has a crush on Alya and Adrien and Marinette try to set them up

Option B is that Nino, Alya, and Chloé try to set up a date for Adrien and Marinette. Nino and Alya are very confused about what’s up with Chloé but, well, you know how it goes.

Either way Chloé absolutely goes off on the Akuma of the day. “You were Akumatized because some dumbass doesn’t understand panthers??? What the fuck my man???”

Vanisher

I know Vanisher didn’t get her own episode but that was unfair as FUCK and this would fix it!

Since Chloé is actually Ladybug, she doesn’t dress up and pretend to be Ladybug. Therefore, the original fight can’t happen.

Instead, Chloé and Sabrina fight because Chloé keeps disappearing to be Ladybug. She runs off, she spends time with other people now, and she doesn’t answers Sabrina’s late night texts anymore because Chloé doesn’t have her phone on her when she’s out on patrols.  

Even though Chloé promised to be a better friend, she’s technically been worse and is making Sabrina feel invisible.

After De-Akumatizing her, Chloé and Sabrina have a long talk, and try to schedule things out. She can’t tell her about being Ladybug, but she absolutely tries to make sure they hang out more.

Anitibug

Obviously Chloé wouldn’t get Aumatized here. However, Marinette absolutely can!

It still has something to do with Ladybug though. I was thinking maybe Chloé as Ladybug would snap at her like a reverse of what happened in the show. But you know what would be better?

Marinette finds out that Chloé is Ladybug. Think about it. The girl that bullied her for years and the girl who gave her the confidence to stand up to said bully are the same person. It not only breaks her mind, but she spirals thinking about every interaction she had with Ladybug, over analyzing every little comment and turning it into some kind of insult.

Also, her whole thing with Chat Noir? Absolutely comes into play. Marinette has him tied up and does the whole ‘hey, look, your Ladybug is actually pretty terrible. How about you get with me instead?’. Chat’s like ‘Okay I like you but this is not how I wanted this to go down!!’.

Eventually she is de-akumatized, but it’s their hardest fight yet. Chloé tries to talk to Marinette, but she doesn’t want to hear it. But Chat and Tikki are there to make her (Mari also freaks out at Tikki, but that’s explained quickly).

Chloé is like ‘look, I’ve been terrible. I am terrible. Even if I’m trying to be better, I know that. But everything I said or did as Ladybug was true. And even if it wasn’t, it meant something to you. You stood up to me and my terrible self because of that. So even if it’s me behind the mask, keep doing what you’re doing. You’re kind of amazing. Also if you tell anyone I said that I will tie you to the top of the Eiffel Tower I swear to fuck.”

This kind of really gets through to Mari that she’s trying to be better. And she looks back and sees that a lot of Chloé’s weird behavior was her either being nice or trying and failing to be nice. This starts up a tentative friendship.

Chat’s kind of like ‘Hey since she knows who you are shouldn’t she know who I am?’, but Tikki says no and bans him from telling her. Adrien is screaming because this would fix all of his romance problems real quick but no he still has to try and win Marinette over as Adrien. Goddamn it.

Puppeteer

Probably goes about the same since none of the Mari/Chloé/Adrien things caused this.

However, Chloé goes off on Nadja for the toy incident. You are given a toy to borrow for the weekend, but forbid it because ‘your kid has too many toys’? What the fuck lady? It’d be one thing if your kid was begging to buy an expensive toy but this is a free gift she’d return after like a week!

Relfekta

since Chloé isn’t being mean, this probably happens differently. Maybe it’s a ‘slipping back into her old habits’ thing while trying to help get Mari next to Adrien, but she probably didn’t go as far. It was just Juleka’s curse that happened.

Guitar Villain

Happens the same, really. Can’t go wrong with a pet dragon.

Pixelator

Pretty much the same, except Adrien and Marinette get trapped together and Adrien is still dying inside because he can’t just transform to get them out because Tikki will kill him. (He does not want to anger the tiny god thing!)

Princess Fragrance

Instead of being a bitch, Chloé brushes off Rose’s request of delivering a letter to Prince Ali because she’s concerned about Tikki being sick.

Simon Says

Pretty much the same, except for two changes:

First, when Adrien snaps at his dad, Chloé’s like ‘nah he deserves it! Fuckin go off since you can without repercussions!’.

Secondly, when Chloé finds out why the guy got Akumatized, she points out it’s the fault of the showrunners for deciding ‘we’re going to call a person at random and if they refuse to participate you fail automatically bye bitch!’. Which gets the Akuma to be like ‘wait, you’re right. Hold that thought.’

Volpina

Hoo boy! This is fun!

So, Chloé actually pays no attention to Lila. She knows Lila’s lying, but she doesn’t care. It ain’t hurting her, and she’ll be found out soon enough. If she does try something, then she can easily give an interview as Ladybug to disprove her claim of friendship. (She wants to do it anyway because she’s salty but she refrains.)

Marinette picks up on Lila’s lies about knowing Ladybug, since she knows Chloé is Ladybug and Chloé doesn’t know Lila at all. She still does her thing of following Lila.

Adrien still finds the Book of Miraculous Bullshittery, and he tells Chloé to meet him in the library to discuss it. They start up, but are interrupted by Lila. The three look at the book, but Chloé takes it with her at the end of the conversation.

Lila still saw enough of the book to buy a fake Miraculous for later. Marinette still following her of course.

However, at the park scene, it’s Adrien who calls Lila out on her lies(Mari wants to, but she can’t prove anything since she isn’t Ladybug). Adrien’s obviously nicer, but he’s still like ‘I know you’re lying about knowing Ladybug and being a Hero, but why?’.

This pisses Lila off because she ruined her chances with him. She becomes Volpina of course.

Adrien and Chloé obviously put together that this is an Akuma and not another hero. When Adrien explains what happened, Chloé gets very upset that this girl tried to manipulate her best friend like that.

After defeating her, Chloé tentatively offers to give Lila another chance, since Adrien talked her into it. But Lila’s like ‘fuck you!’.

Christmas Special

So, like, since Chloé knows that Adrien’s Chat Noir, and knows he’s fine after he disappears, she doesn’t show up to kick santa’s ass. So something else probably happens.

So, I kinda stopped properly watching episodes after Season 1, but I know what happens and such to the point where I’ll talk on them. Not every episode, but ones where I know something would change.  

The Collector

Chloé goes to meet Master Fu, and she takes Adrien with her. There is a lot of mixed feelings over suggesting that Gabriel could be Hawkmoth that get discussed right then and there.

While Master Fu thinks Gabriel can’t be Hawkmoth since he was Akumatized, Chloé says they can’t rule him out. She knows manipulation tactics. And Gabriel becoming an Akuma right at the moment when they were investigating him? It’s suspicious. She lets it go for now, but she doesn’t rule him out. Adrien honestly agrees.

Despair Bear

Sine Chloé is already being nicer, there is no need to threaten her with the bear. And she wouldn’t be upset at Mari and Adrien dancing together. Not sure how/why the butler would be Akumatized. Maybe the butler doesn’t know shes being nicer and is trying to do this to help, but misunderstands her excitement over the dance as jealous anger?  Idk

Prime Queen

Since Chloé and Adrien are 110% platonic, when Nadja asks about the ‘supposed romantic relationship’, they laugh for a good two minutes before going ‘wait you’re serious??’. They explain that they’re not in a romance, they’re just good friends who trust the fuck out of each other

Riposte

Since Marinette isn’t joining the fencing club to impress Adrien, we have to do something different. Maybe she tries to join for other reasons. Either Adrien asks as a way to spend more time with her, or she joins because now that she knows about Chloé being Ladybug, she wants to help fight.

Gigantitan

Instead of everyone trying to get Mari to ask out Adrien, they’re trying to get Adrien to ask out Marinette.

Dark Owl

Chloé and Adrien already know each other’s identities, so this isn’t an ‘almost reveal’.

Glaciator

Since Adrien has a crush on Marinette and not Ladybug, he wouldn’t miss the ice cream date. The guy might get Akumatized when Marinette is disappointed that her ice cream isn’t Chat Noir flavored. (Okay, I wrote that at like 4 am and now that I’m coming back to it I am concerned at my wording.)

Sapotis

While Chloé is working on being friendly to all classmates, and Adrien is already close to Alya, she wouldn’t be their first choice for another Miraculous.

Instead, they give the Fox to Marinette. Not only does she already know about Chloé, but both of our heroes agree that Mari is Hero Material.(She really is. Even in this ‘she never got a Miraculous the first time AU, she still is!).

Chloé refuses to take the Fox away from Marinette. After all, it’s not fair that the Ladybug and Cat are out all the time. Not to mention that Mari can’t get any good practice in without the Miraculous. That and they don’t want to separate Mari and Trixx.

Also, Trixx teases the hell out of Tikki for having her Chosen be the first to screw up the secret identity thing.

Zombizou

As Chloé is nice here, neither Marinette nor Miss Bustier are in danger of being Akumatized because of her.

However, I have ideas for Miss Bustier’s Akumatization based off what was going to happen in my old fic The One Where Chloé Knows. I plan to continue that eventually, so skip this if you don’t want spoilers.

Basically, Miss Bustier is in some trouble with the school since most of the Akumas have come out of her class. She just wants to do her job and keep her students safe.

Syren

instead of being upset at Ladybug keeping secrets, since Chloé doesn’t do that, Adrien gets frustrated that he can’t tell Marinette who he is. Other than that this episode is pretty much the same.

Frightengale

instead of ruining Clara’s music video out of petty jealousy, Chloé does it to try and help protect Chat Noir’s secret identity. It backfires, of course, doubly so because she can’t tell Marinette why, but everything works out in the end.

Troublemaker

Mari doesn’t have a photo wall of Adrien. Maybe she has a wall of Chat Noir, but probably not since there aren’t as many printed pictures of him to collect.

Anansi

I’m debating on whether or not to do something with the Turtle Miraculous.

Option A is to keep it as is, giving it to Nino. This would be Adrien’s decision since he knows Nino best.

Option B, is to have Chloé give it to Sabrina, especially since she still feels guilty for not spending as much time with her.

I’m debating about it because while Option B makes some sense, Sabrina isn’t really Hero Material. Not yet at least. But Nino is.

Frozer

Marinette starts to get over her crush on Chat Noir, convincing herself it was just a ‘hero crush’ type thing. She decides to try a date with Luka. Adrien, believing he’s lost his love to him, tries going out with Kagami. Both end up wishing they were with each other instead.

Style Queen

Since Chloé is already Ladybug, she can’t be the Bee. She gives the Bee to someone else. Possibly Alya, to keep the original Quintet intact. But maybe someone else.

Instead of turning into a superhero out of jealous rage, Chloé snaps at her mother and nearly gets Akumatized before Adrien and Marinette manage to calm her down. This does get through to her mother, who realizes how much she’s been fucking up by being absent.  

Malediktator

Since Chloé is being a better person she would have no reason to leave Paris. I think her dad would probably get Akumatized due to Chloé’s near-breakdown in the previous episode, realizing how much he fucked up in raising her too.

Heroes’ Day

I wanted to say something would be different, but other than Marinette being re-akumatised instead of Chloé, not really. I guess the ‘good deeds’ speech would be different.

Backwarder

Since Marinette isn’t trying to deliver a love letter to Adrien, and likely isn’t the one doing any deliveries at all, the letters don’t get mixed up. Not sure how this would go down instead.

Weredad

A few things are different. Firstly, Mari wouldn’t have a secret identity to hide since Chat Noir knows she’s the Fox.(I guess I could go back and say oh, no, only Chloé knows, but not only was it a group decision to give her the Fox, but Chloé wouldn’t put them in a love square so help her!)

Marinette also does actually have a crush on Chat Noir in this AU, so it wouldn’t be a panic-fueled lie.

Even if Mari confessed to liking Chat Noir to distract him, Chat would be delighted instead of saying ‘I’m in love with someone else’. However, he might say ‘sorry, as much as I do return your affections, we can’t be together right now due to the secret identity’

Chameleon

When Lila tries to manipulate the class into loving her, Chloé calls her out on it. At first people think it’s Chloé going back to her old ways and/or trying to shift the hatred to the new girl.

Then Marinette chimes in with the stuff she eavesdropped on back in Volpina, and Adrien hesitantly backs up the claims that Lila did try to lie to get him to date her.

Everyone agrees that Lila might’ve lied about that, but there’s a chance she’s not lying about other things. Still, they now take what she says with a grain of salt.

Lila confronts Chloé in the bathrooms this time, telling her the usual ‘stay out of my way or I’ll ruin you’. Chloé tells her ‘go ahead and try. They already hate me. I have nothing to lose!’.

Chloé has a minor breakdown after Lila leaves though. Because while she said she has nothing to lose, she kind of does. Because people are starting to genuinely like her now that she’s being nice. And if Lila ruins that…. Well, Chloé almost gets Akumatized over it, but she pulls together knowing that Adrien and Marinette would never believe Lila.

Lila then becomes Chameleon and causes chaos though. Lila still has a hatred of Ladybug, but she also hates Chloé and Marinette as much. Only reason she doesn’t hate Adrien is because if she can get him, then it will be a big fuck you to Chloé and Marinette.

Animaestro

Since Marinette and Chloé aren’t fighting over Adrien, they don’t have a problem.

Bakerix

There’s mostly no change except for the fact that Chloé puts together that this might not be about bread recipes….

Oblivio

Since it’s Chloé and Adrien getting memory wiped, their assumptions are different. I could go for comedy and say they also assume they are a couple and get grossed out later when they regain their memories, but I think they assume they’re siblings since they obviously trust each other but don’t have a romantic spark.

Stormy Weather 2

Chloé’s not a jerk anymore, so she wouldn’t be picking on Aurore. Idk what happens I’m tired it’s fuckin 5 am as I’m typing this now.

Onichan

I doubt that Adrien would be allowed to be alone near Lila after what happened in Chameleon. While Chloé and Marinette would be willing to give her a chance at redemption, Lila has shown no sign of doing so and would not trust her until she does.

Adrien might end up forced by something else to spend time with Lila. Or maybe he’s just too nice for his own damn good.

However, he gets very cold when Lila pulls the kiss picture, and decides ‘no. No way. You want another chance you gotta go through someone else first’.

Miraculer

Since Chloé is the Bee, and none of the other Heroes identities are known, and they get to keep their Miraculous 24/7, this doesn’t really happen.

I feel like this could be a time to change the entire episode plot. Say, for example, Chloé finally gives in to her insecurities and fears over being never enough and gets Akumatized. She manages to take off the Miraculous first, and Tikki zips off to find one of the other heroes to be Ladybug for the day. She absolutely chooses Marinette for the cookies.

Timetagger

FUCK IT I’M GIVING ALIX THE SNAKE INSTEAD OF THE RABBIT FUCK YOU SHE HAS SNAKE DESIGNS ON HER SLEEVES GODDAMNIT.

Sorry it’s 5 am and I’m salty. But seriously.

I don’t think Gamer 2.0 would change, and that’s the most recent episode as of typing this so fuck it this is going right into the void tomorrow and then I can go back to working on fuckin fullmetal alchemist and all that other gay shit.

[fountainpenguin]

S and T for the ask

S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist?

> Bittersweet endings. I don’t like completely perfect or completely depressing ends… I like little nibbles of both.

> Witty banter. Never get tired of it.

> I’m not normally one for AUs, but I love college AUs for worlds that don’t have a college equivalent. What do they study? I must know.

> Fleshing unliked/overlooked side character out with an interesting backstory and cool hobbies.

> We dislike each other but have to keep up appearances.

> Smooth, probably sexually experienced character is easily flustered.

> Alternatively: smooth character flirts with someone, takes it too far, and instantly backpedals while screaming internally.

> Sharing space on a road trip.

> Soft holiday stories! Especially fantasy holidays, because then I’m falling in love with the worldbuilding and pleased that the characters are happy.

> Blind dates.

> Tired but loving single parent who works very hard

> Two tired parents working very hard, so glad they’re in this together

> Someone falls in love with a single parent, asks their kid(s) permission to marry their parent, and lets kid help them pick out a ring and participate in wedding plans.

> HEALTHY!!! STEP-FAMILIES!!!

> Jerk messed with the wrong person and now they’re in for it… We don’t know when… but oh, they’re in for it.

> Petty villains (“Whoa, whoa, whoa! I call in an evil plan, and you send your B squad??? Frankly I’m a little insulted!” -Snaptrap)

> Petty heroes… Read: Randy Disher, a full-grown adult police lieutenant, getting his feelings hurt when the Captain says he’d save Monk, not him, if both were in the water because Monk can’t swim, and Randy persists by asking if his mind would change if Randy was holding an anchor and the Captain asks why he wouldn’t just let go of the anchor and Randy looks him in the eye and says “Family heirloom” and the Captain just >:|

> Gift giving is shown to be a valid form of affection and not played as a greedy, materialistic love language (Related: Character A buys cute little gifts for B sometimes and it doesn’t turn into a story about wasteful spending or needing to shower your partner in gifts or else they’ll freak out).

> Bed sharing / cuddles (As long as it doesn’t progress to sex… I have to be in the right mindset for that and 9.5 times out of 10 I’d rather have snuggles).

> Quick, casual, absentminded kisses. Convince me this character’s instinct is to express affection even when they’re distracted and you have me eating out of your hand.

> Kisses in awkward places… Up against walls, quickly stolen while the third wheel is out of the room, couple trying to hide even though their friends ship them and no one present will judge them for a kiss… Yes. The more uncomfortable the position or time, the better. Love that spontaneous cute.

> Fake dating and in the end they’re still good friends, no push into a romantic relationship just because they were in this situation together.

> Healthy mutual break-ups

> Asexual characters!!! I’m for any story that acknowledges people like me exist and are happy, whether it’s a story about discovery, the difficulties of being ace, or a story where the ace character is just at peace.

> People are close friends and not dating. Both are comfortable with their relationship and no one tries to make them feel bad.

T: Any fandom tropes you can’t stand?

(Below the cut. Keep in mind these are my personal preferences and I’m not attacking anyone who likes tropes I dislike. This isn’t a comprehensive list, just some thoughts about tropes I don’t enjoy reading).

> Redemption through romantic love. So. Much.

> Everybody Lives AUs

> Soulmates

> Forbidden love

> Amnesia

> Coffee Shop AUs (I’m all for “In the future this character gets a job” stories, but I dislike “I’m going to flirt with this person while they’re in a position they can’t leave” stories)

> Psychic powers / Twins can read minds. It’s not an immediate deal-breaker, but my interest will drop sharply.

> Falling in love way too quickly / confusing infatuation with genuine love and the moral of the story is that you should risk your life plans and dive headfirst into relationships with people you don’t know well yet (I didn’t watch The Sun Is Also a Star, but the trailers pushed ALL my wrong buttons).

> Physical touch is the only or most important way to express affection. I’m all for love language miscommunication stories. I don’t like being told those who don’t express physical touch easily are frigid or uncaring.

> Big rescue scenes in romance (Ex: Hero carrying love interest from a burning building… I’d rather see hero helping love interest up a tough patch of the trail they’re hiking, or leaving a party to find their partner a dessert they’re not allergic to, something small and affectionate like that).

> Asexual invalidation/correction stories (Related: Virgin mockery). I don’t mind reading these if the main character is asexual and it’s a story about sexuality exploration or a character facing difficulties because they’re ace (That’s what Origin of the Pixies is, after all), but if the author legitimately believes asexuality needs to be fixed or that ace characters can’t be in fulfilling relationships, that’s what I don’t like.

> Canon: *Characters state they don’t want to be together romantically*  Fanfic: *Makes them romantic*  As a reader, I’m willing to let you take my hand if you show me careful thought processes and honest conversations while the characters work through changes together in early chapters, but if there’s absolutely no explanation (or indication that backstory will be given later) and the story just starts with them together for some reason… I won’t play along.

> When two people in canon are very close but not an official romantic couple and the only ‘fics about them are romantic. I don’t mind some stories being romantic, especially if they’re set in the future of canon, but if I can’t find more than a tiny handful of ‘fics that match their canon relationship, I get frustrated.

> Oh, here’s a trope I despise with the intensity of a thousand suns… Animals that are not dogs behaving like dogs (Ex: Maximus the horse in Tangled). Other animals are interesting too!

> I dislike a lot of angst tropes in general. I like psychological horror, like the slow recognition of your own sins (which is probably why I write villain backstories). A loved one dying in your arms, or trapped inside a burning house, does nothing to me. You could not get farther from affecting me if you tried. My heart will break if someone hesitates in an otherwise cheery story and the other person staggers back, realizing things aren’t as perfect as they thought. I live for moments where the bliss suddenly snaps and in an instant, everything’s changed. But deaths drawn out with gasps and bleeding, or houses going up in flames, don’t really land. Angst has to be fast and hard or I find it tedious.

> Developing a crush on someone before you even see or hear them interact. See also, liking someone you have no business liking when your people raised you to dislike theirs. How do you exist outside your culture? I want reasons.

> Using new pronouns for a character who hasn’t revealed their preferred pronouns to the narrator and/or a character outs someone by using new pronouns without ensuring they’re okay with that. I’m cool with long-established pronouns, but if some characters don’t know yet, they don’t know yet.

> I’m personally not a fan of self-insert stories, especially Self-Insert x Canon. Specifically, I dislike the trope that self-inserts will draw canon character attention and take the focus away from a canon character development story, which is what I prefer to read. Self-inserts who don’t disrupt the status quo are fine by me.

> I can accept OC x Canon if you don’t contradict canon, but the OC has to be well fleshed out with realistic flaws, and if the canon character is completely OOC, I’m backing out (It’s specifically Main Character OC x Canon that I don’t like- I’ll happily dive into “Failed relationships in canon character’s past involving OC exes because canon characters won’t work for this”).

> Timmy wakes up one day and realizes Tootie’s the girl for him. I need a looong slow burn to sell me on that one. I’m happy to see him recognize his own judgmental attitudes and accept her as a friend, but if it moves into romance while they’re still young, I’m out.

> Wanda being pregnant instead of Cosmo… I 100% forgive this for anything written before “Fairly Odd Baby,” but if Wanda’s the pregnant one then I immediately scroll up to check the upload date. If I can’t trust you with that piece of canon, what can I trust you with?

> Wanda confronts Cosmo and argues that he’s being mean to her. That’s a can of worms I’d rather skirt around.

> I’m all for Cosmo and Wanda having a second kid, but NOT while they’re still with Timmy.

> Abusive Juandissimo.

> I also don’t like fluff. I don’t deliberately avoid sweet, plotless stories, but I don’t seek them out. I lose interest in fluff more quickly than anything else.

… I’m realizing now that the reason I don’t like romantic stories is probably because most of them revolve around expressing affection the literal opposite way of how I prefer it (Ex: Way more stories about physical touch and making out until impulsive sex occurs, not enough quick kisses in passing or time spent existing quietly on the same couch enjoying your separate hobbies).

I don’t inherently hate romance, I just have different romantic preferences than the media that usually crosses my path. I’m more about companionate love than fiery passion. It’s hard to convey the comfortable silence I like in words.

Fanfic Ask Meme

[novacorps]

let’s talk about the REAL origin of the KKK and how it mirrors the birth of the alt-right

The KKK probably didn’t actually start as a racist thing but became a vehicle for it.

It basically started because this group of young professionals who probably never owned slaves (think the college educated alt-right of today) and basically got bored and decided to make a secret fraternity for shits and giggles. “It would be secret, to heighten the amusement of the thing, and the titles for the various offices were to have names as preposterous-sounding as possible, partly for the fun of it and partly to avoid any military or political implications.” And they recruited people to join and hazed them just like a fraternity. 

For fun, they disguised themselves in sheets on horses and road through the streets. It caused such a stir, they were like YO?? This is fucking awesome we’re causing so much shit trolling everybody

So, they started adding weird shit to the costume.

They’d wear animal horns, fake facial hair, polka dots, reflective material, satin, sacks over their head (think Victorian Halloween costumes), black/red face (which was commonly used to hide your face at the time and make it seem like they were black and native americans were the ones committing crimes), and often colorful robes and women's dress. Basically these guys were literally just out here straight up looking like something straight out of The Purge meets someone’s Mardi Gras fursona. like they went either went HARD or they had a fucking sack over their head going yo i’m TOTALLY in the kkk

fun fact: there was so much crossdressing that in accounts of people describing them, they were sometimes like I THOUGHT THEY WERE A BAND OF WOMEN??? and a lot of times their victims recognized them because they were wearing their wives dresses

At some point, they decide to scare blacks for shits and giggles because they thought they were easy targets and afraid of ghosts. "Much of the Klan’s early reputation may have been based on almost frivolous mischief and tomfoolery. At first, a favorite Klan tactic had been for a white-sheeted Klansman wearing a ghoulish mask to ride up to a black family’s home at night and demand water. When the well bucket was offered, the Klansman would gulp it down and demand more, having actually poured the water through a rubber tube that flowed into a leather bottle concealed beneath his robe. After draining several buckets, the rider would exclaim that he had not had a drink since he died on the battlefield at Shiloh. He then galloped into the night, leaving the impression that ghosts of confederate dead were riding the countryside.” 

some quick history: “Back in those days planation owners had little log cabins built around in a circle, around for the slaves. And the log cabins, they dabbed between two logs, they dabbed it with some mortar. And of course when that falls out, you could look out and see. But every, most every night along about eight or nine o’clock, this overseer would get on his white horse and put a sheet over him, and put tin cans to a rope and drag it around. And they told all the slaves, ‘now if you poke your head out doors after a certain time, monster of a ghost will get you.’ they peeped through and see that and never go out. They didn’t have to have any guards.” Fry said such disguises meant to scare slaves were common and that the first Klansmen, knowing this, naturally chose similar uniforms, often embellishing them with fake horns and paint around the lips and eyes.

black people were like........ lmao bruh. we don't actually believe in ghosts?? but we believe white people can be fucken crazy. because who the fuck wouldn’t be unsettled by a bunch of weirdos riding up in masks looking like the pre-war slave patrols riding around on horses who would literally fucken shoot you if you left ur cabin. let’s just take a moment to appreciate that white slave owners’ solution for making sure slaves didn’t run away during the night was the same logic as adults trying to scare their kids into staying in bed so they can go get nasty: stay in bed or the GHOSTS will get you

“The whole rationale for psychological control based on a fear of the supernatural was that whites were sure that they knew black people. They were not only firmly convinced that black people were gullible and would literally believe anything, but they were equally sure that blacks were an extremely superstitious people who had a fantastic belief in the supernatural interwoven into their life, folklore, and religion. Such thinking had obvious flaws: the underestimation of black intelligence and the overvaluation of existing superstitious beliefs. Blacks were frightened, no doubt, but not of ghosts. They were terrified of living, well-armed men who were extremely capable of making black people ghosts before their time.’

alright so. at the time (reconstruction, or just post-civil war), the southern states are passing these new laws (black codes) that basically went: go fuck yourself poor whites and blacks, you’re not getting any of our power and WHILE WE’RE AT IT let’s just virtually re-enslave blacks (e.g. blacks can't assemble in groups, have guns, learn to read and write, testify against white people, etc. and forreal spouting a lot of the same white nationalist ideas as the alt-right today. they were like: “we hold this to be a Government of White People, made and to be perpetuated for the exclusive benefit of the White race" and driving a wedge between poor whites and blacks. 

which begs the question of like bro. why weren’t poor whites and blacks out there looking like that handshake meme hating rich whites in power?? and that’s because poor whites and blacks were usually poor in very different ways so that they were at best tentative allies. Poor whites typically owned land but usually not the other resources that would have allowed them to exploit their land intensively. blacks needed social services because like they were out there like drake starting from the bottom. so, the rich white dudes in power were like heeeey poor white people you know if we give blacks these programs... we gotta tax ur land that you’re already struggling to hold onto and reap benefits from. there’s clearly NO OTHER OPTIONS. so you’re at this point in time where not only do you have this racism where a lot of white people think they’re better than black people, the north going guys can u please play nice and let the black people have some rights?? and the south being like U CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO FUCKEN DO, but ALSO a lot of growing resentment from poor whites about black people making their lives harder. and if we’re learned anything from history, this is the PERFECT environment for white, racist extremists to THRIVE (e.g. illegal immigrants are taking our jobs! we need a muslim ban!). 

SO. back to the kkk. Everyone thought the KKK was SO. FUCKING. WEIRD. they talked about it constantly locally. and it got outta control.

stuff like the night riding QUICKLY started getting out of hand. “Anyone could put on a sheet and a mask and ride into the night to commit assault, robbery, rape, arson or murder. The Klan was increasingly used as a cover for common crime or for personal revenge.” 

so suddenly all these racist extremists and people with who could become extreme (same logic as liam neeson who who said he wanted to kill some black bastard after hearing his friend was raped by a black man) ... like there’s a growing place for them to meet and exchange ideas and make each other worse. so all these people and groups on the fringe start associating themselves with the kkk and using the kkk as a way to connect with people who also wanted to do terrible things. 

the klan has, perhaps unwittingly, just accidentally organized extremists who might never have otherwise been able to organize like that

“Describing the actions of Ku Kluxers who marched in a Mardi Gras parade in Memphis in 1872, after conservative Democrats regained power, a newspaper writer reported that some of the marchers carried ropes. “It was a favorite bit of pleasantry to lasso a negro,” the writer noted. “No violence was offered but the contortions and grimaces of the captives were highly amusing.” The public pain and fear of these victims of Klan “pleasantries” offered visual confirmation that order had been restored in the South. Besides being fun for the perpetrators, performance also had a cloaking quality. As Parsons writes, “Klansmen used performance for reasons that lay far beyond any hopes of obscuring their identities or cowing their victims.” By making their violence appear theatrical, Klansmen could essentially confuse authorities, who would take time to decide whether the perpetrators were joking. Performances also misdirected outside audiences (like Northerners), who might have trouble figuring out what the Klan was all about. “The Klan was conceived in a tableau vivant, nurtured by minstrels and serenaders, housed by circuses and masquerades, and given an afterlife in Mardi Gras processions,” Parsons writes. All of that playing with current forms of popular culture meant that Klan violence confused observers—especially white Northerners, who were fans of minstrelsy, too, and quite ready to laugh at a black person who was the butt of a joke.”

but like?? it’s just for lols right? it doesn’t necessarily mean those guys were RACIST or they were ALL racist. that’s just the kind of edgy humor everyone was DOING at the time. “In a painful irony, circuses and minstrel shows, which had provided the theatrical vocabulary for acts of Klan violence, included Klan-themed skits in their programs; these representations then provided cover for the Klan, who could continue to claim to Northern observers horrified at the violence that the Klan was an imagined entity.”

and then like. it really fucking starts going fucking down. you start having a “few bad apples” doing shit like burning black churches and schools (exactly like what’s happened with dylann roof, attacks on synagogues, shooter in new zealand). 

journalists in the north are losing their goddamn mind and reporting on it because the kkk is just SO. FUCKING. WEIRD. and how can you not? people are dying and saying they’re associated with the kkk which are doing... what again? these weird dudes dressed up like they’re going to mardi gras??? c’mon. THOSE guys? that’s a bit of a stretch to blame the KLAN for that. 

in fact, the north was so obsessed, the klan became TRENDY in the north. northerners would dress up as them at costume parties and have KLAN APPRECIATION GROUPS. sometimes ironically, sometimes not.

so the klan becomes a recruitment tool for those people. just like geek culture and youtube became a tool for radicalizing and recruiting white men.

"By making their violence appear theatrical, Klansmen could essentially confuse authorities, who would take time to decide whether the perpetrators were joking. Performances also misdirected outside audiences (like Northerners), who might have trouble figuring out what the Klan was all about."

SO. There’s a website online called Stormfront which is a is a white nationalist, white supremacist, antisemitic, Holocaust denial, neo-Nazi Internet forum, and the Web's first major racial hate site.  In addition to its promotion of Holocaust denial, Stormfront has increasingly become active in the propagation of Islamophobia. They use controversies like GameGate, places like 4Chan, Reddit, and YouTube to convert people. Often, people will meet and interact with neo-nazis without even knowing it. 

“I think one of the real things that made it so difficult to get out and realize how radicalized I’d become in certain areas was the fact that in a lot of ways, far-right people make themselves sound less far-right; more moderate or more left-wing,” Sherratt said.

Sherratt wasn’t alone. YouTube has become a quiet powerhouse of political radicalization in recent years, powered by an algorithm that a former employee says suggests increasingly fringe content. And far-right YouTubers have learned to exploit that algorithm and land their videos high in the recommendations on less extreme videos. The Daily Beast spoke to three men whose YouTube habits pushed them down a far-right path and who have since logged out of hate.

Here’s a couple highlights from Stormfront:

[exid-though]

I’m new to exid and kinda confused, can you help me with the girls’ names/nicknames?

YEAH okay so 

Solji the beautiful siren with the chubbiest cheeks in the world and the prettiest lips known to man was born Heo Solji and she just goes by Solji but because she’s the mom of the group since she’s the leader and is really caring and cuddly but also can be scary she gets called lots of “mom/mother” nicknames like the girls straight up address her as “mom” a lot during Showtime EXID like literally instead of Solji they would often yell “mom” to get her attention it’s adorable. And ofc fans call her mom for the same reason so like Heo Mother/Mama is something we say a lot, “mama Solji”, etc. Soul.G was her DJ name or something like that? some type of stage name years ago but now she does just use Solji. Heo Bad Gas was something that existed like years ago from way back in like 2012/2013 because when they dieted and ate boiled eggs she got really bad gas. They mentioned it during the first season of BUTBUT TV but don’t actually use this often? It was really just a let’s make fun of each other thing for the moment ips? Mostly just things having to do with mom and also Baby Heo she’s said before is one of her favorite nicknames of hers. I mean she is straight up the cutest woman in the world and she’s the youngest in her family so Baby Heo somehow fits her like just as much as mama Solji and all those.  ummm when she first debuted she introduced herself as “EXID’s Honey Vocal” for obvious reasons come on  and I tag her memether I think? don’t I lol? yeah anyway cause she’s their mother and she’s obsessed with memes, the other members (Hyelin I think but maybe Elly idk??) revealed that Solji sends tons of memes to their group chat. She’s also nicknamed Tweety I forgot about that one cause she looks like Tweety lol and the girls said she looks like Piglet too. And the animal she looks most like is a sloth? that was also lowkey about her being tired all the time while she was sick though so idk if that’s entirely fair lol. A koala is another one that one’s more fair too lol we’ll go with koala. 

LE is the rapper ofc her real name/birth name is Ahn Hyo-Jin and her English name is Ahn Elly. When she was an underground rapper before she joined EXID she chose Elly as her stage name which is also why some people get confused and say “Elly is her old stage name not her name/english name/etc” but it was/is her English name she confirmed it on an early season of BUTBUT TV when talking with Hani, her name on instagram is also literally “ellybaby” and “Ahn Elly” like she only really seems to use LE as a stage name and people call her both Elly and Hyojin off stage cause both are right ig? But yeah so LE is LE, Elly, and Hyojin all and then when you get into nicknames and not just like other names ig? she got nicknamed Elsa after Frozen’s Elsa a while ago cause she looks like her lol. Daisy Duck also because she looks like Daisy Duck but I haven’t heard anyone use that in a long time? “Elly/LE baby” or “Elly/LE baby the crazy” is a nickname that’s a reference to a line she had in a song where she started her verse with “elly baby the crazy”. I tag her euterpe because that’s the muse of lyric poetry and Elly writes all of EXID’s songs to date and has written for other artists as well. She’s so cool. She’s the “Tom” to Jeonghwa’s “Jerry” because she’s like a grumpy cat that likes to beat up Jeonghwa the mischievous mouse. idk what else? She’s the dad of the group like Solji is the mom? Oh and she first introduced herself as the group’s “Charisma” just like Solji is the group’s “Honey Vocal” and it makes sense cause she’s scary af. Or at least it seems until you realize she’s a giant softy and cries just as easily as Heo “crybaby” Solji herself. 

Hani’s real name is Ahn Hee-Yeon, but she does mostly go by Hani. In the same episode of BUTBUT TV (I really wish I had screenshots I mean I might but I don’t think I do but like idk someone will find it eventually) that Elly said Elly was her English name, Hani said that around the time she was born (I think it was either that or right before or right after or maybe just before?? so just know that at some point lol) her parents lived in the US and they liked calling her Hani/Honey growing up cause it’s their favorite American/English term of endearment and she mentioned even family and friends call her Hani more often than they call her Heeyeon normally but they’ve also seemed to be calling her Heeyeon more often and that was a while ago so maybe she’s just moving from it a bit? Or they’re just like eh we need to call you Heeyeon to properly yell at you when you do creepy shit. She was nicknamed Ms. Puff a long time ago during like their debut year because of her hair and face at the time she looked like Ms Puff. She was first introduced as the group’s “Brain” because she’s super smart, has a high IQ, enjoys studying/studies really well. She’s also very meticulous and perfectionistic? don’t know if that’s a word but you get it. So generally she’s a giant nerd she also literally wasn’t/isn’t a good dancer so she takes notes on what exact angles and movements make her look best while dancing and it’s clearly worked out well since a video of her dancing saved the group from disbandment lol. Because of that video too she’s nicknamed “Fancam Goddess” by like media people and stuff in Korea. She’s nicknamed Ahn Hyung by a lot of people because she’s “manly” or whatever. Which she isn’t really she’s just awkward and likes girls. And she’s good at sports but like Sistar are sports goddesses and they’re not called manly like Heeyeon is it’s just a combination of her being awkward and sporty and chill and people thinking that’s not feminine so it must be manly. anyway. She actually doesn’t seem to mind that much and embraces that nickname a lot and EXID as a group go with the jokes about them being more like a boy group than a girl group because they’re all such dorks who don’t know how to protect an image so it’s not really as annoying to me at all as it would be should any of them esp Hani have ever said they thought it was dumb. moving on though cause that’s a whole other topic. So she was actually originally “EXID’s Brain” from debut and onward a bit until she started introducing herself as EXID’s “Brain and Rose” because she thinks she’s as beautiful as a rose/a rose fits her really well and that over the years changed to her just introducing herself as “EXID’s Rose”. This was literally her own braggy decision and that’s why you might see someone say she and Elly too actually are the braggy members of the group bc like they are?? Heeyeon can’t stop complimenting herself and Elly literally said there’s nothing she can’t do but we stan confident queens who know their self worth.  always. 

Hyelin is the cute little small baby one who’s absolutely wild and uncontrollable so she is either called something cute like her original introduction being “EXID’s Cutie” (but I also remember her being “EXID’s Cute Bad Girl” around 2012/2013 idk why but like I remember that being a thing she said and not just cutie idk) or “My Way Lini”/”My Way Hyelin” because she just does what she wants. Like she’s the second youngest (oh yeah fake maknae too that’s a thing ig?) but who can really ever be mad at Lini? She curses on national television and their own leader is laughing about it she does what she wants and she gets away with what she wants. She not only curses and uses slang and dialect a lot but she also kinda just… generally says what she wants. She openly stated her eyebrows were tattooed, talked about what plastic surgeries each member should get, allegedly picked up a microphone at a show cause she heard fans talking shit and literally said “to all the fans of monsta x, we aren’t dating” and like??? that’s not something she wouldn’t do so who’s gonna deny that really? She just can’t control her mouth and doesn’t actually seem to want to really? so “my way Lini” fits her really well. She’s nicknamed Lini cause it’s just a cute nickname for Hyelin, Hyelini is also a thing. JjeopJjeop/jjeopjjeopi is a nickname that comes from her chewing really loudly/obnoxiously when she eats. Him Hyelini cause she’s super strong (like stronger than she should be where’d you get your superpowers lini baby??). Him means strong btw it’s not  another manly joke. She’s a good wrestler and beats their own manager at those arcade punching games. Baby bird because she looks like/is like EXID’s little baby birdy. she’s cute and small and they love her sm. Her English name is Jenny but no one ever calls her Jenny lol? Voldemort is a good one that comes from her famous impressions of Voldemort (her Voldemort sunbaenim)

Jeonghwa is nicknamed “maeboli” most famously I think?because she likes to do things that she knows will bother the older members and she literally is always asking for a beating. A radio dj asked for some clarification on this once and Jeonghwa just said “this isn’t a misunderstanding at all, I really do that” like the girl just enjoys making people chase her around and yell at her. It’s funniest when paired with Elly’s personality because she and Elly are the “Tom and Jerry” of EXID. They’re constantly chasing each other around and Elly is Jeonghwa’s favorite victim and vice versa cause Elly keeps fake bugs in her purse to scare Jeonghwa with. they’re just such dorks idk what to say. Jeonghwa purposefully is really loud and her voice is really high-pitched and she uses it to get on the girls nerves. She’s also called “EXID’s Sunflower” by fans sometimes because her and Heeyeon are the visuals of EXID and she’s more of the bright tall cheerful etc sunflower. She’s also called “pure visual” of EXID because her visuals/looks whatever are veery “pure” and innocent looking she’s got sparkly eyes and she’s just generally got a really friendly and innocent look esp compared to Heeyeon’s sharp and sexy look so the sunflower vs rose and pure vs sexy visual thing is probably why they’re both officially the visuals of EXID like imagine choosing between the two of them anyway. She gets called lady and princess Jjong/Park/Jeonghwa a lot cause she’s basically the “most lady-like” out of the members (or so it seems). and she just looks like a pretty lady with her pretty eyes and round face and her long ass limbs that make her the size of a tree. she got called a monkey sometimes during like Showtime years beause of her limbs too lol she’s got long arms and a small face and so she looks like one of those cute little monkeys I forgot what kind though. Merida was a nickname that started and ended with her orange hair from 2017 when they promoted Eclipse but she’s still merida in my tags just cause I still haven’t changed it. I’ll do it eventually. ummmm?? She was apparently Park Foot Odor for some time around debut but she denies this whole thing. That was from the same episode of BUTBUT TV where Solji’s gas and Elly being dirty was talked about too. Also we call her Jjong a lot just like how we call Hyelin Lini. 

There’s definitely more but like I can’t think of them rn? Sorry. 

[manadude-blog1]

The Wise Dudes

Since becoming a Dudeist in,like, what was it? 2015 or something, who fucking knows man...i’ve noticed a lack of material reference that was a bit beyond the usual “Dudeists” who would only ever quote the movie non-stop; every post, every meme, every comment quotes. It gets a bit exhausting after a while. So I wanted to use this blog thing as a platform to point other Dudeists in the direction of other cool characters that abide in their own way. 

In my quest to live my best life I’ve come across a handful of people, who, after studying their character for some time, have dubbed them the “Wise Dudes”, they aren’t bearing gifts of Mir, but they are sagely no doubt. True abiders, people, but mostly characters these people play who really tie those archetypal aspects together in one holy, far out Dude. 

The Dude Himself - Jeff Bridges

The Holy Dude himself. Jeff Bridges.  It seems since his role as the Dude in The Coen Brothers The Big Lebowski, Jeff has himself adopted and nurtured what it means to be a Dude in his real life.  When he isn’t doin’ the whole acting this, he is out there doin’ his part for starving kids, or the environment. 

He even produced the Sleeping Tapes, which is a massive trip, ASMR, guided meditation hybrid of strangeness, but even stranger it makes sense. 

Which you can find here on Youtube: https://youtu.be/y3_Evj0iPDk

And he also co-wrote a uniquely awesome book with his own Zen Master buddy Bernie Glassman Titled “The Dude and the Zen Master”, which is a collection of in-depth jams discussing the ins-and-outs and Zen messages hidden inside the film, and the character of the Dude. 

But above all these things, Jeff Bridges really just displays all the virtues of a true dude, from every single interview he takes part in, he spreads a real chill, and riffs with anybody and everybody like they are close friends. Thats what makes him the Wisest Dude of the lot, because he is the same off-screen as he is on-screen in the role that started it all. One of my favourite interviews is this one where he groks with another Wise Dude in this list: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmqtyVE290Y

Don Stark - Gerry “with a G” - Maron Season 3. 

In Season 3 (episode 6) of IFC’s Maron; Mark finds himself attending Narcotics Anonymous Meetings and in need of a sponsor (after meeting two very Donny characters) meets Gerry “with a G”.  I instantly loved this character played by Don Stark (from That 70′s Show fame).  From his first words, mumbled out between gulps of food, explaining to Maron he shouldn’t eat the birthday cake because it’s covered in “junkie Germs” and that he is immune.  And just his look; which resonated with me alot personally, as we dress almost identically (even to the point of me buying the exact same ringed necklace shown in the above picture), loose tshirts, oversized un-buttoned overshirts and a rugged demeanour. Gerry has all the markings of a true Wise Dude. 

Gerry has alot of cool lines in the few episodes he’s in. He not only helps Maron find an awkward living situation, which is what any fellow dude would do, reflected in Gerry saying: “One Addict helping another, that’s what it’s all about”. He is genuinely just living his best life and helping out others in the process, with his own dude style all his own. 

Mark Boone Junior - Jerry - Flaked

You might know this next dude from Sons of Anarchy fame.  In Flaked, which stars Wil Arnett, Jerry is the main character, Chips, ex Father-in-law.  A self made millionaire, but you wouldn’t know it at first. His house is pretty chill, actually, i downplayed that, I fucking love this dudes abode. 

Which, like our previous Dude, reflects something in my own life and Dudeness; all the dream catchers and aesthetics that come with the lifestyle; a chair out the front with a native-american looking throw, nick nacks, overgrowth, ambient lighting etc.  When we first meet Jerry, he is a bit tanked on red wine and possibly stoned, waking up from a dream he’s not quite sure he was asleep for. he is talking in metaphors and seems to be in some kind of evening stupor, which i can relate too, because when the sun sets, I just wanna chill out, hang with my dog, smoke a J and watch the light fade, anyone rocking up to my place unannounced would totally throw me off. And although he doesn’t particularly like Chip, he still lets him in to chat. 

Although Jerry loses his chill, later on, it shows, like The Dude himself, that none of us are immune to life, but at least we aren’t fake, we tend to it, we get back to whoever we are when the shit passes. As long as we abide, where we are, that’s the goal line. 

Joaquin Phoenix - Larry "Doc" Sportello - Inherent Vice

I admit, I had to watch Inherent Vice more than once to actually “get it”, aside from the story which really throws you through the ringer, and leaves you feeling like your coming down of some massive LSD binge journey, the main character of Doc, a private investigator high as a kite, bumbling his way from one location to the next dazed and confused is pretty dudely and his demeanour and dress code and way of life got him an esteemed place in my Wise Dude Pantheon.  Not much I can about him, check out the movie and see for yourself. But you might wanna smoke a joint before hand AND during, I had to to really get what was going on, it’s a wild ride man. 

Matthew McConaughey & Woody Harrelson - Steve Addington & Jack Mayweather - Surfer, Dude!

 This one is a double feature. The movie Surfer, Dude! is pretty cool, i watch it occasionally for a refresher course in taking it easy when the waves of life die off and I need to reset.  Steve, McConaughey’s character, is a surfer bum. Travelling from surf to surf living his best life until a media mogul attempts to lock him into a contract that starts chipping away at his Dude-ness! fuck, media mogul or not, we’ve all been there right?  His friends and fans abandon him, he gets set up looking like a douche bag poser, and the surf stops coming leaving him lost in life.  In the end, everything turns out alright for Steve, but go watch the film, it’s pretty cool.  It even co-stars Willie Nelson as a pot-growing goat shepherd.

Jeff Dowd - The Original Inspiration for The Dude

This ones a tricky one, when i first came across Jeff Dowd, i thought “oh hell yeah, the original Dude, what a trip” but as i started to discover more and more about him, watching videos and interviews etc. It really dawned on me that although this guy is a DUDE, he’s not as chill as i first thought. 

But that was a very Dudeist message for me at that time and place, because alot of Dudeists out there, the poser ones, the perpetual movie-quoters and posters of very undudely things, think the message and archetype of The Dude, is to be chill all the time, to abide with no worries in the world. But after many viewings of the Big Lebowski i’ve found that the real message of the movie isn’t about that at all, neither is the Dudes character; It’s about bending with shit that comes up moment-to-moment, dealing with it, and coming back to yourself, a place you can abide in, and although Jeff Dowd is very chill, sometimes incoherent and sloppy, he’s passionate about life, and doing what he wants to do, dealing with the shit as it arises. And that’s what it’s all about. So maybe that’s where the inspiration mostly came from.  As Bruce Lee Said: “Be like Bamboo, strong yet supple, bending with the pressures of life, and snapping back to form when it passes” or something like that. 

FINALLY, ME - Rick Boland 

Man if there was ever a person who felt like someone pissed on his rug it’s me.  Life has it’s Strikes and Gutters, no doubt.  But at the end of the day, after i’ve been out doin’ my thing; mentoring and working with young people and the community in whatever aspect that is, I come home, I have a shower, I listen to some tunes, light some incense, hang with my wife and canine pal, and abide.  Have I put myself on this list because I consider myself some Wise Dude? Nah, not at all, I’m just a simple Dude, living his best life, or trying too, helping who I can, and remembering at the end of the day, even when life punches you straight in the mouth, that getting back that place where it all ties together and makes sense is what it’s all about.  Bob Dylan once said “A man is considered a success if he gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and inbetween he does what he needs to do”.  That is something I can certainly Abide with. Peace Out Dudes 

[laynefaire]

WIP Folder/List Tag 📝🗃🗄

The Rules: List the names and a short description of all the files in your WIP folder, then tag some fellow writers to do the same.

i was tagged by… @lululawrence (after expressly begging NOT to be tagged) 

Since I try not to ignore these memes, I’m going to concede and do it. I’ll get my revenge on Sus by torturing her favorite character in one of my stories - all’s fair, right? 

I’m going to keep this strictly to the 1D fandom. If I delved into the other fandoms and my original fics, this would be a novel all on it’s own, and I barely have time to write as it is. 

SO let’s start with the ones that are pressing on me the most - 

Take Your Time future take - A fandomworks for charity piece that River, the wining bidder, has been incredibly patient over. It’s set five years in the future, and that’s all I’m willing to share about it, since River deserves the first read on it.

the rest are under the cut - 

Untamed Hearts - I already have 13K words written for the next (and hopefully final) part of this fic.  If you’managed to not be exposed to this fic in the last year, it’s a Ziam AU summer love? fic. From the first time they met, two summers earlier, Zayn has been a thorn in Liam’s side, especially given the fact that Liam was attracted to Zayn. Zayn’s feelings were impossible to read, his actions even more confusing. Infatuation turned to animosity. Now, Zayn goes out of his way to bait Liam, and Liam does his best to ignore him. Meanwhile, their friends are sick of watching them dance around each other every summer, and have a bet on whether or not Zayn and Liam will finally hook up. The first part ended with Zayn having been injured in a skateboard accident and Louis and Liam bringing him home from hospital.

Wild Horses Run Free - also affectionately known as the OBX fic in my tags. This was supposed to be fore last year’s Larry Abroad challenge, but that was about the time my work schedule went fucking haywire.  Louis is an equine veterinarian, Harry is a documentary photographer. The fic is set in the Outer Banks of North Carolina and revolves around the Banker ponies, wild horse herds descended from Spanish Mustangs, that have lived on the dunes for centuries. The herds are at risk due to human encroachment on their environs, and Louis works for the Conservation determined to protect them. Harry is brought in to work on a new public service campaign by the Conservation’s board of directors. Of course, sparks fly. 

Heritage Fic - This doesn’t have a title yet, despite having over 3K written already. This is for a 1000 feelings prompt. Harry is a research librarian and Louis is someone utilizing the facility where Harry works. Also features Nick Grimshaw as Harry’s interfering best friend. 

This Fragile Heart - This fic has been on hiatus, though I do want to finish it. I’ve struggled with revisiting this story since Jay and Robin passed, as they both featured so prominently in the storyline. This is popstar Louis/model Harry fake dating, The first chapter is posted, the second one is almost done. I won’t post any more of this, though, until I have at least half of it finished. Don’t expect much for this before the end of the year. 

My Kind of Love -(working title that will likely change) - Ziam AU with Famous Zayn/non-famous Liam. It’s a child hood friends to lovers fic, with all the angst you all know me so well for. 

Now for the fics that will likely languish in my docs forever.

When I Find You - this was a Larry headcanon based on events in spring of 2013, including the nightmare horror that was the Tea Train, Harry always being in LA, and the part that is written is angst hell. This fic will likely never see the light of day. 

Right Foot Blue - Larry fic - drunk strip Twister with food. Don’t ask. I drank a lot of Jameson’s the night I thought of this. 

Heart by Heart - Ziam AU - Liam is still auditioning for X-factor, Zayn is a guardian angel.

Need You Now - Ziam headcanon of Summer 2012, specifically Las Vegas of the UAN tour. 

Taste Of Your Lips - Ziam headcanon involving lollipops and sexual tension 

February 14th - Ziam AU - a fake dating AU Liam and Zayn are tired of their friends meddling in their lives, and decide to fake date in order to get a reprieve from it after they are set up on an unexpected blind date. The relationship is scheduled to spectacularly explode in a very public breakup designed to embarrass their friends into realizing that they should stay out of other people’s lives. Strangers to friends to HAHAHA it’s a joke to..... maybe lovers? 

And that’s that about that. I’m not tagging anyone, mostly cause I think everyone has been tagged. 

[bullet-pointers]

The application is the first part of the process. Occasionally with the aid of a hopefuls chat, it’s how mods get to know muses and muns before the group is finalized. Both the mods’ design of the app and the muns’ filling out of the app are pretty important to making sure a good roster can be put together with minimal pain.

Not all apps have the same sections to fill out or the same requirements for each section. Sections like Character Name or Backstory are pretty much on every single app, while other sections such as Likes/Dislikes and sometimes even Personality may not always be on there. It’s up to the discretion of the mods.

Mun Info

What Is It?: A section for information on the mun. Generally includes name/handle, pronouns, and triggers, and may also include time zone (for scheduling purposes), blacklist/greylist, and squicks.

Notes

Yeahhh, this section is pretty much necessary for all apps. It would be really awkward to not know who’s actually writing these characters. It’s also useful for lowering the odds of OOC drama.

Different groups treat triggers and squicks differently. Sometimes squicks are avoided in the OOC chat and triggers just need to be tagged, sometimes both need to be tagged in posts, and sometimes both are just lumped together in a masterlist. Obviously it’s important to note however they’re handled if you don’t want to make people unduly uncomfortable or worse.

Some apps may have a slot for blacklisted muns, and some may just figure you would list anything like that in an Other section. Either way, if there’s another mun you don’t get along with for one reason or another, be sure to list them. It may affect your chances of getting in, but it’s not worth getting into a group if you’re going to spend the whole time worrying about that other mun. IMO, having a specific blacklist section makes cross-checking apps easier for the mods.

Core Muse Info

What Is It?: The name, gender, appearance, talent, personality, bio, and central beliefs of the muse. This is what sets muses apart from each other and is the central part of the application. That being said, some parts of this section can still be added or subtracted if deemed appropriate.

Notes

Different mods will be more or less worried about appearances when it comes to app judging. It can be hard to compare across apps due to (completely valid) differences in drawing ability, image quality, only having a written description available, etc. Having a clean, detailed image and/or an appearance that reflects important aspects of the character or just like a really cute DreamSelfy can leave positive impressions, though.

Some mods prefer to limit numbers of muses with aliases or foreign origins on the roster. The same goes for fake talents, but including a lot of those can get a little weird, especially if someone’s fake talent is the same as/similar to someone else’s real talent. In general, you really don’t want duplicate talents, possibly with the exception of Reserve Course, which isn’t acceptable to all RPs, anyway. Some mods also like some kind of gender balance in the final roster, so sometimes you might get a liiiittle better odds by watching the hopefuls list and applying a rarer gender, but this isn’t always true, either. Just make sure the FAQ covers these sorts of things.

The personality section can be of different lengths and detail levels, and some RPs may accept bullet points or require specific personality aspects or details. Sometimes this section is nixed altogether if mods feel the other app questions should give them a good enough impression of the character’s personality, though I wouldn’t recommend this personally. Just be sure to provide the information asked for, and make sure it makes sense in the context of the backstory.

The same pretty much goes for the backstory/private bio. Just make sure it makes sense with the personality, and hopefully at least one of the two is unique enough to generate interest. There’s nothing wrong with plain/normal kinds of OCs, but you wouldn’t expect to see several of these in one roster. Also be sure any mod triggers listed on the blog are tagged in these. If your backstory has triggers for every mod, you might be better off apping that muse somewhere else, where someone can actually read the whole backstory.

Public bios have been popular but are still not on every app. These are pretty much always paragraph form, and different groups ask for different lengths. They can be a pain to come up with sometimes, and they can get pretty sticky in cases of fake talents or ???s, but they can also be helpful for conveying information that other characters could be expected to know and get an impression from before the game starts. If you put this section on an app, just be sure they’re eventually actually public on the blog/in the chat somewhere or they’re pretty much pointless busy work.

Muse Miscellany

What Is It?: A smattering of questions with less complex answers than personality/backstory. There’s definitely no golden standard for these, though questions related to motives and Monomachine items are common. Also includes likes/dislikes, favorite things/words, and who knows what else. Filling out some of these may be optional.

Notes

These usually aren’t as tough as the other parts of the app, but they can still be a pain if the app requires a ton of them. It’s best to keep this part fairly short, though it should still ask for anything the mods foresee being important in that specific game.

Some of these, like strengths/weaknesses and likes/dislikes, can be good for making the mun think a little harder about their muse. This can make poor characterization more obvious, but a lot of the time this isn’t super necessary information.

Monomachine items are in most apps and can be tricky to come up with. They’re good for revealing lore that your muse may not voluntarily bring up, for providing something that might brighten your muse’s no-good very bad day, or just for memeing. A lot of the time, activity at the Monomachine or local equivalent tapers off much more quickly than activity in general, so it may be better to require a smaller number of these so the interesting ones have a chance to be released into the wild.

It’s also good to have questions about common motives or unique motives the mods plan to use in the RP (most important person/item, biggest secret, etc.). It can provide mods with a good idea of what motives might be effective for a good portion of the roster. Especially when muns may be slow to respond OOC, it’s good to have this information already on hand. 

On that note, it may be a good idea to ask for smaller details (shoe size, hand size, etc.) that may be relevant for investigations with bloody footprints or things like that. It is very hard to get this information from everyone later if it happens to come up, but sometimes people get a little confused or don’t really know what to put for such specific details on the app, so it’s a mixed bag.

I personally (and I’ve seen it on other apps, too) like to include a question about whether a muse is more likely to be a killer, victim, or survivor and why. If you’re trying to keep the app short, this could be cut, but it’s good to have a balanced roster that isn’t all innocent babies who would never hurt anyone or all seasoned criminals who will probably kill someone before the KG is even announced. It’s also good for when volunteers aren’t forthcoming and you’d rather make sure murders can be IC than just 100% random/fair.

Sometimes this kind of information is to be answered IC, like in an interview. In these cases, you might want to make a note if the character’s answer is truthful or not and why.

Prompts

What Is It?: The bane of muns around the world, it’s a section of questions requiring longer, paragraph answers written in third-person like RP posts. Sometimes applicants are provided an array of prompts and can choose from them, sometimes specific prompts are required, and sometimes this section consists of only one prompt or is absent, though this is rare.

Notes

This section takes a lot of time, but it’s the best indicator of a mun’s writing ability for the purposes of the RP. They can be a huge pain to fill out, and some common prompts may be difficult to write a juicy response to, so it’s best to ask for the absolute minimum. Zero-prompt apps exist and can work out, but I wouldn’t care for that as a mod.

Execution prompts in particular can give muns a lot of pause, and I can personally say I’ve given up on an app that was otherwise finished just because I couldn’t come up with an execution. It may be reasonable to cut this prompt to save a lot of pain; however, it’s really best to have these on hand from the start. They can be very hard to get later, and they’re kind of important to DR games.

MM/traitor prompts should be required for those applying for that position. This kind of question might fit in a different section so it doesn’t have to be written like an RP post, but in general it’s hard to pick out a mastermind if you don’t know the deets of why they would start a killing game. You don’t necessarily have to ask for an MM speech, but you should at least know if this would be a satisfying plot twist and/or fit with the game’s lore.

The ability to choose from a list of prompts can help when a mun doesn’t feel very inspired to write about, say, the muse waking up in such-and-such location with no idea how they got there, or when filling out that prompt doesn’t convey the muse’s personality particularly well. On the other hand, asking for everyone to fill out the same prompt(s) makes it easier to directly compare hopefuls.

On that note, I like having less standard prompts, like reactions to not getting a Starbucks order right or how a muse would deal with a crazy roommate. While these can be tricky to come up with if you don’t want to just rip them off from other apps (which you prrrrobably shouldn’t without permission), coming up with unique situations can help muns more easily demonstrate the personalities of their muses instead of blandly answering the same old questions. That being said, these can be a little weird to work with if the muse would never go to Starbucks and/or leave their house in general.

Conclusion

No two games have the same app, and no two should. Applications are important for getting to know enough information to put together a roster that’s going to work out both IC and OOC. They also gather information for later use in the RP, when muses may be harder to get ahold of or have less time to answer questions. Mods just need to ask for what information they think they’ll need, and muns just need to try to provide it. It’s impossible to foresee everything you’ll need, but asking for every piece of info you could possibly have use for would make a longer app than anyone would be willing to fill out.

Click [here] for a listing of all guides!

[fangqueen]

WIP Meme

Okay, so hear me out, but I’m gonna start by giving a big thank you to @doubleappled​ for this one. You said you were tagging anyone who hadn’t gotten around to doing this yet, and I happen to be one of those, so I took that message to heart. Haha! I’d secretly been wanting someone to tag me in this for awhile, but it hadn’t happened yet, and I finally decided fuck it, I’m just gonna do it myself. I’ve not written in months because of this weird illness I’ve been dealing with, and I’ve been wanting to go through my WIP to kind of...try to get myself back into it? So here goes.

The Rules: Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous.

Now here’s another thing. I don’t have a single WIP folder. I have MANY, all split up into different categories. So I’m gonna list them as such.

Harry Potter

(Untitled Broship 01) and (02) - some dumb Draco & Pansy ideas I had like three years ago

(Untitled Krumwood) - What it says on the tin. I think I was gonna do this for some comment kink type fest awhile ago and just....never....did???

Pride - back when I used to be obsessed with Oliver/Draco. x’D I was planning on incorporating some Ginsy as well. Basically, I’d gotten super inspired by a picture similar to this one (can’t find the original now), and fell in love with idea of them hooking up at a wizarding pride parade, covered in rainbow paint/chalk/whatever.

Harry Potter > Requests

Jersey - So you all know, I name any request type WIP docs after the requester. Just a way to help me remember. Anyway, this is for my Draise fake dating fic The Wedding Date, which I’d originally started writing..........a year and a half ago..........for the amazing Jersey’s (aka @kevinsnowday​) bday in 2017. I managed to post chapter one on her bday just fine, and then......never.....got around.....to the rest........Sorry, boo. ^^’ I really, really want to get back to this one eventually.

Harry Potter > Requests > Gay!Draco Challenge > Round 2

kreeblimsabs - Another really old one I want to get back to, my god.....I got this request a fucking year ago this very week, I think........This was from, as the folder names say, round two of my Gay!Draco Challenge. kreeblimsabs (who I’m not sure if they’re still on Tumblr, it won’t let me tag them for some reason) requested I write them a Dron drabble inspired by my favorite Disney song. Well, I’m gonna tell you all now...my favorite Disney song happens to be Hellfire from Hunchback of Notre Dame. So yeah. Haha! The ONLY reason I haven’t written this yet is because that’s such a dark and iconic song, that I wanted to do it when the mood really struck me, which unfortunately hasn’t happened yet. Hopefully someday!

Harry Potter > A Weasel and His Ferret (my Dron exclusive folder ‘cause I’m obsessed, get it? Haha! x’DDD)

(Unnamed Dron 01), (02), (03), and (04) - some random little snippets I always keep around, either to throw into another fic at some point, or to build up into their own

An Unconventional Marriage - GUYS, listen! LISTEN. I have been wanting to write this idea for YEEEAAARRRSSSS. YEARS I TELL YOU!! I think I was still in fucking college when I came up with this, and I’ve never been able to work it out. This is my idea for a Drastoria fake marriage type deal, where they’re the bestest of best friends who decide they’re gonna play the game both their families want by marrying each other, but they’re gonna stay just friends...while fucking whoever they hell they want on the down low. Obviously culminating in Dron on the Draco side of it. I want it. I need it. I CRAVE IT. I hope I actually do it someday.

Because Blaise Zabini Is An Asshole - inspired by this Tumblr post

Chocolate and Sass - A quick little oneshot idea of them meeting as little little kids, no prejudice between them, sharing a chocolate frog. Cut to them fucking, drunk on chocolate liquor as adults. Yeah. I know. But I thought it’d be fun.

I Want To Warm Her Heart - Inspired by one of my favorite White Stripes songs, I Want to be the Boy to Warm your Mother’s Heart, which has always made me think of Dron. Ron’s experiences with a very...icy (*cough*homophobic*cough*) Narcissa over the course of his relationship with Draco.

Like Fathers, Like Sons - A mid hook up Ron and Draco (post divorce, no infidelity here) walking in on a mid hook up Scorpius and Hugo.

Support - Oh my god, you guys, this one is annnnnciiiieeennnttt. I’m pretty sure I started writing it directly after my very first fic posted to AO3, like holy shit. The title is a redemption for me on a fic I wrote at 15 (which still exists on FFN, and also just so happened to be a Dron as well, but please don’t bother looking it up, haha). Lucius was assassinated in Azkaban post-war, and there’s a death threat out on Draco. Auror!Ron is assigned as his body guard during the weeks surrounding the investigation and his father’s funeral.

The Measure Of It All - a crack fic about Ron’s huge cock

TLC - Equally as ancient. Draco’s a masseuse. Ron goes to get a massage, surprised to discover who it’s with. Smut ensues. Enough said.

What Happens In Muggle London - sequel to my fic What Happens In The Forbidden Forest, in which eighth year sneaking out to go clubbing in - you guessed it - Muggle London fuckery ensues

A Match Made In Hogwarts - a multi chapter post-war matchmaker will-they-won’t-they

A Very Fine Line - the second thing I ever posted to AO3, and will probably never finish

Keeping The Faith - That time I really wanted to do a wizarding version of Jones Town.......Don’t look at me........

One Week - I remember nothing of this other than that they were going to be Auror partners, and it was going to be a challenge to myself to see how many cliches I could fit into one fic. Haha.

Switching Sides - What if Draco ended up defecting and becoming a part of the Camping Extravaganza of Deathly Hallows.........Yuuuuup.

Wishful Thinking - Can you believe I’d at one time planned on adding three more chapters to this fic? Yeah, me neither...

19 Days

(Untitled ChengYi) - Yeah, I don’t know either.

It’s Exactly What You Think - sequel to my fic It’s Not What You Think, in which I’d intended for some actual Tianshan to happen

Who I’ve Been Waiting For - I’m so out of the loop with writing for this fandom these days, I don’t fucking know...All I remember is this is supposed to be when they’re adults and Jian Yi returns. Zhengxi’s been hooking up with He Tian in the meantime. They were gonna turn into a poly thing at some point. I don’t fucking know, you guys.

Batman

(Untitled Jaydick) - What it says on the tin. Post Arkham Knight angst, reuniting, and smut.

JTHM (Johnny the Homicidal Maniac)

You Make Me Sick -  Yooouuuuu guuuuyyyyysssssss!! You have no idea how badly I want to write thiiiiiisssssssss!!!! WHERE MY DISCIPLINE AT, LIKE GODDAMN. The title is a play on the Devi spin off comic, I Feel Sick. (I hope you JTHM fans out there got that, ‘cause I’m super proud of it, haha.) IF I EVER FUCKING WRITE IT, this is gonna be a Nny/Squee, but....not really. ;) Basically, the idea is that Squee kind of....discovered his sexuality? Because of Nny??? And grew into a very gay, very pain centric, confused young adult with a major crush on his old next door neighbor. Has had numerous torrid love affairs because of this that never ever ended well. It’ll start with him seeing Nny for the first time again in, like, twenty years and going into a spiral over it.

South Park

The Walking Conformists - GUUUYYYYSSSSS. Sorry to keep “guys”ing you, haha, but this. THIIIIISSSSSSSSSS. If i ever buckle down and WRITE THIS BITCH, I swear it’ll be my holy fucking grail. At least to me. CuRed. Goth kids. Road trips. Zombies. What more could you want?! I’m happy to discuss privately with any one of you who’s interested, because it’s way too much to put here, and this post is long enough as it is.

What We’ve Got - sequel to my fic What We Can’t Have

(Rockstar!Michael) - What it says on the tin. CuRed, obviously.

(Untitled Religious Boys) - Bradley/Gary Harrison. Sexual discovery. Yaaassss.

Everybody Knows - CuRed where everybody thinks they’re already dating, and of course I mean everybody knows they’re meant for each other but Michael and Pete ;)

Nobody Needs To Know - Another old as fuck WIP inspired by the SADDEST SONG IN THE WORLD from the musical The Last Five Years. If you know anything about that musical and this song, you can guess what this fic would be about. Michael cheating on Pete with Firkle. Adults all! No chan here, bitches, you know me, c’mon.

The First Step - CuRed. Holding hands on the school bus. Will be the purest thing I’ve ever written if I ever finish it. It’s a drabble, and I swear to you it’s, like, two paragraphs from being done, and I’ve just never gotten down to it.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT, I have a lot of WIP...Don’t have anything in my Fests/Challenges folders at the moment, because it’s, uh, been awhile, heh heh.

I’m gonna tag my love, @violetbehaviour​, because I think we’re the only two left who haven’t been tagged for this. xD But if any of you reading this are like me, and haven’t been tagged yet but really really want to be, please consider this me tagging you!

[badgalyadi]

random survery. / 474 + 560.

How’s your mood? Do you feel any different than you did earlier today? def better than it was earlier

What do you look for in a friend? Is it important that your friends have similar hobbies and interests to you? Or is it more important that you just enjoy their company? i think as long as i enjoy your company, we’re good.

Has anyone ever spread a malicious rumour about you? people have been doing this since middle school lmaooo

Are you comfortable with talking to the opposite sex, about sex? yeah, sex isn’t that deep of a topic lol.

What are your views on people who claim to have had spiritual or paranormal experiences? damn that’s crazy.

Have you ever had a friend that you were really close with, but you ended up drifting apart? Why do you think this happened? lol, life.

How much of an issue would you say peer pressure is for you? FAKE. no way ur gonna get me to do something i don’t wanna do, idc.

Would you be able to give up eating your favourite food(s), if your doctor said you had to? nope.

If you’re single, do you ever feel jealous of people who are in relationships? And if you’re in a relationship, do you ever feel jealous of people who are single? no.

What’s in your pencil case? pens, unsharpened pencils, mechanical pencils, erasers both big & small, a sharpener, a stapler, extra staples, and highlighters.

Is there anything in your room that you wouldn’t want your parents to find? maybe so.

Are you wearing anything fragranced atm? i’m wearing the fragrance i brought back from cuba. it was only $3 and it smells so good, deadass makes me it :(

Was your last illness something contagious? i had a cold, so i guess yeah.

When did you last update your Facebook profile photo? it’s been a year.

Have you ever felt confused about your sexuality? in middle school. terrible time to wanna figure that shit out but 💀

If you found out your friend was sleeping around, what would you say to him/her? nothing b/c i don’t care lmao do you.

How should someone of the opposite sex go about starting a conversation with you? it’s not that deep, just say hi.

Tell me about someone you dislike. Why do you dislike them? Do they know that you dislike them? obsessive and shady asf, can’t mind her business.

Have you ever felt so strongly for someone that you believed them to be totally irreplaceable, as if you could never be happy with anyone else? yeah, and i don’t think i’ll ever feel that way about somebody again b/c i learned u really can live without anybody whether u like it or not.

Out of all the horror films you’ve ever seen, which one scared you the most? uhhhhhh sinister or insidious idk

Who was the last person to tell you that they were disappointed in you? not airing out names. she didn’t directly say it, anyway.

If you’re an only child, do you ever wish you had some siblings? And if you have siblings, would you like any more? i always wish i had other siblings lmao i see people w theirs and be feeling sad as hell :(

Are you friends with the last person you texted? yeah.

Your last Facebook friend request - was it from someone of the opposite sex? no.

What does the eleventh text message in your inbox say? issa meme.

Has anyone ever called you easy? yeah LOL

Would you consider having a child with the last person you kissed? whommm... can’t be having a baby rn when i’m still the baby myself

Is there a cover version of any song that you like more than the original? soooo many.

Have you ever liked someone who was a player? yea lol

Do you own anything that has sequins on it? also yes.

Have you ever done anything to embarrass your parents? not on purpose but they def do shit that embarrasses me too so we’re even 

Do you own a teddy bear? yethhhh

What’s the worst relationship advice anyone has ever given you? all of it. nobody ever knows what they’re talking about LMAO.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how happy are you with yourself as a person? a 6.5 lmao.

Would you ever kiss someone with facial hair? yeah. Have you ever drooled in public? nah. Do you agree that facebook is taking over the entire teenage population? ???????????? what 80 year old wrote this Have you ever met a mainstream band? no. Have you ever yelled at an electronic as if it could hear you? i get mad sometimes & be fighting random shit LMAOOOO so yes Have you ever been bitten by a dog? yeah LMAO

Would you ever shave your head? if i didn’t have to? no. Have you ever spelt your name in Alphabet Soup? no. What do you think would happen if the Earth suddenly stopped spinning? my stupid ass has no idea & i’m not boutta guess so i can be made fun of What did you want to be when you were little? probably some generic shit like a princess idk Have you ever drawn a picture with sidewalk chalk? yeah. What is the worst possible way to die? slow, painfully. Have you ever burnt yourself with a lighter? sooooooooooooooo many times. Would you ever meet someone you met online? mayhaps. What’s your favorite online game? cricket noises.. What do you think of gay/bisexual people? A1. Have you ever kissed the TV? no. Have you ever thrown your cell phone across the room? yeah, then regretted it LMAOOOOO Have you ever been hit with a ball in gym class? not often but once in hs i got sockedddddddd in the face during volleyball & thought it was on purpose so i hit her w the ball even harder and ended up getting suspended cuz i wasn’t discreet about it lmao Will you be single over winter? [brain muscles overworking themselves] what season is this Where do you wanna live when you grow up? out of miami mayhaps. Are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants, or pajama pants? pajama pants. Would you get married if you could right now? nope. Do you consider yourself spoiled? maybe so. Do you get annoyed when you see someone you don’t like? i usually just focus on other shit. Could you see yourself dropping out of high school? surprised i didn’t. Is there anyone you want to see right now? santi?! What were you doing 12 a.m. last night? fixing my living room. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now? :] Are you a mean person? no, i really try not to be. What woke you up today? yesterday*, alarm clock. Have you kissed anyone whose name started with a T? probably lmaoo

Did you date anyone last summer? nah, i was minding my business, enjoying my life. Where will you be twelve hours from now? class. Do you remember the first time you kissed the last person you kissed? yeth Have you ever slept on a couch with that person? also yeth Have you written a letter to a soldier? no. Ever been in a perfect relationship? lmao “perfect” How do you feel about the person who texted you last? loveeee me some them. What are you looking forward to? cricket noises.. Do you think you are an argumentative person? hhhh.. maybe..  How did you feel when you woke up today? tireddddddd asf. Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex? mhmmm What time did you go to sleep last night? i always go to bed late asf. i’m boutta go to bed now just to be up in two hours. What color are your eyes? brown. The last song you listened to? a veces, it’s literally on repeat. When you shut off your alarm clock, do you tend to fall back asleep? if i don’t get up, yeah. Do you believe change is always good? sometimes.

How long was your longest relationship in highschool? 3 years. Do you know who Philip DeFranco is? nah. What’s the most illegal thing you’ve EVER done? 💀 the OP responded to this with weed, i’m really screaming rn.. Where did/do you want to get married? all these questions about marriage, whew. What’s the highest level of education you’ve reached? i’m in college rn Is your last name extremely common, like Gonzalez? no, but i don’t think it’s rare either. Ever notice how most flags are red white and blue? no. Have you ever had a crush on a family member? what the fuck How old is your YOUNGEST friend? bitch.. i don’t know How old is your OLDEST friend? i don’t. know. How long should people be together before they propose? these questions are starting to make me uncomfortable lmaoo Have you had your first touch screen phone yet? that’s how you know this survey is old. Don’t you hate when parents divorce but then still argue regularly? can’t relate, hope i never do. Would you ever join the military? sike. If you could have any dog, what dog would you have? a shihpoo. Would you ever kill a bunny and make soup out of it? what the fuck x2 Do any of your friends own a ferret? no. Do you believe that Christians are better than non-Christians? no? Do boys really rock pink more than girls do? ????????????????????? Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? yerrr What’s your view on the Islam culture? hard to have an opinion on something you know nothing about. Do you know what, “C'est la vie” means? i know i’ve seen this but idk what it means Do balloons make you have a better birthday? nah; they’re loud asf too when they pop, so. Krispy kreme donuts aren’t as good as Dunkin Donuts, are they? DELETE THIS. What is your favorite song from, “Aventura?” THE SPANISH GROUP?! WAYMENT...... i don’t even know. prob something generic. yesterday i was listening to por un segundo lmao :( If you could legally assassinate any celebrity, who would it be? bro.. Do you use Twitter or Formspring? twitter. rip formspring babie love you. Why did you last cry? a few hours ago, real crybaby bad bitch hours. If you had to lose 5 lbs, how would you do it? lower my calorie intake. Is there anyone who seems to think that you are a pillow? ???????? Tell me about your BEST New Year’s Eve ever. wasn’t this one. If you HAD to change your name, what would you change it to? alejandra, idk why that name sticks with me. i just feel like i look like someone named alee & idk how that makes sense but it does to me LMAO. Lunapic editor is amazing, no? whommmm... How do YOU write, “Okay?” depends on my mood, who i’m talking to, what we’re talking about.

How old was the last person who kissed you? 28. Do you have any plans for the day after tomorrow? not that i know of. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? yeah. What time did you wake up today? 7. Name something you can’t wait to do: idk. If you had to choose, would you rather be an alcoholic or a pothead? pothead. What has pissed you off today, if anything at all? cricket noises. Can you honestly say that at this point and time you’re happy with the way life is going? no lmao. Can you easily tell if someone’s fake? mmmmmmmmmmm.. depends. Is there someone you don’t ever want to be out your life? yeah. Did you kiss or hug anyone in the last 48 hours? yeah. Looking back in time did you ever waste your time on a certain boy or girl? feel like most ppl have been thru this. Has anyone ever sang to you? yeah bfsjklj Can a boy and girl be friends without having feelings for each other? LMAO yeah. Coffee or alcohol? oof.. both. together. Have you ever kissed anyone whose name started with C or J? yeth and yeth. Do you ever cry during movies? hell yeah w my crybaby ass Do you have any piercings? ears. Have you ever found someone you really like? my BOO. 🗣 Did you go outside for more than 30 minutes today? yeah LMAO Do you remember who you liked three months ago? was that november... idk how to do math LMAO pretty sure i liked ques by then.