#so in a way it wasn’t that she leaked the info in the first place but how she responded that made her a subject of blame

[rainbowchaox]

Some calmer thoughts:

Now that the reactive anger has mostly left me. I dissected the whole doxxing situation with a neutral eye. And I honestly think if Lea apologized and took the post down. She could still be in right sorta. But the mistake she made wasn’t leaking Quackity information. That could still be considered a mistake. Her true mistake is when people brought it up to her attention to take the post down is she doubled down. She made points of how doxxing is nothing compared to what she went through. Implying sorta that quackity deserved it. Even though the worst of things she dealt with was Twitter being toxic which she always could log off on. Which is why people shifted focus on blaming her. Because how she responded could be sorta of admission to guilt. Even if the leak in the first place was an accident.

[anjelicawrites]

The one looking out for you

Paring: dark!Michael Gavey x fem!reader Synopsis: fill for this ask: “Hii can I request a dark Michael gavey x fem reader smut where they're coworkers and reader don't really know Michael because he works in IT and they only pass each other here and there but Michael is obsess with reader and one day he overhears reader telling a coworker that she's ovulating but her fiancé (who's been cheating on her without her knowledge) is out of town and they've been trying for a baby. Michael digs up dirt on her fiance and leaks the info anonymously and then he "coincidently" finds her crying and kinda drunk and he "comforts" reader”. Warnings: NONCON (reader is drunk while having sex), rape, rape drugs, stalking, obsession, sexist language, fatphobia, pictures and videos taken without reader’s consent, vomiting, alcohol usage, reader being drunk, p in v sex, chocking, titty sucking, fingering, creampie, baby trapping, breeding kink, lactation kink, talk of reader reduced to a basement wife, talk of pregnancy sex. A/N: reader is AFAB but not described. Where needed, she/her pronouns used.

Michael knows how special you are, how gentle you heart is; he sees you in all the ways other people don’t. Some might call his behavior obsessive, stalkerish even, but the world doesn’t understand that, when you finally find your person, you need to take all the necessary steps to keep that person safe. Take today, for example. You had worked overtime, your team leader needing your expertise for the latest company project, and are going home just now, after 9 pm on a cold winter night. You should wait for the bus, or hail a cab, but you’re too tired to wait and just want to go home thus cutting through the city park. Michael knows because he’s following the GPS of your phone, to make sure nothing happens to you, and is using the speakers of your phone to hear what’s happening around you and call the cops if someone tries to approach you.

He shouldn’t have cloned your phone, he knows it’s frowned upon, but you pull shit like this: how is he supposed to keep you safe? You are too gentle, too trusting of the world and in need of a protector, someone who will really look after you, not like your useless fiancé, who doesn’t treat you the way you deserve, nor he loves you, otherwise he wouldn’t be having an affair with the girl living in the next door apartment. The discovery had been casual, the Trojan he used to clone your phone had infected your fiancé’s as well and Michael had been the unwilling witness to his sexual escapades with that whore. He had been so disgusted by the way the asshole talked about you, that he would have disconnected from the phone, if he wasn’t digging for dirt on him.

Michael knows he’s invisible, he’s always been: no friends, no girlfriend, only him and his brilliant mind; when he was younger he had suffered because no one acknowledged him, now he understands he has a superpower that helps him navigate corporate life, absorbing all the relevant information, without anyone realizing what he’s doing.

You greet him whenever you stumble upon him in the corridors, still grateful he solved a computer issue you had the day of a big presentation, the reason why he’s met you in the first place and every gentle smile you direct his way, adds fuel to the fire of his obsession. He’s racked his own brains for days, after that first fateful encounter, wondering how he could start a conversation with you, cloning your phone had been the only way he thought he could find something you two had in common. It saved him a gaffe, when he saw all the photos with your fiancé, and gave him so much insight inside your brain, to understand you were the woman for him; of course you are far more creative that he’ll ever be, your soul gentler than his, but you are smart and being so different will only add to you two’s relationship, once he’s gotten rid of your boyfriend.

Michael is working on the new firewall, hidden in his own basement office. He’s thankful that the other IT people are misanthropes as he is and don’t mind that he’s working with his headphones on, on the contrary, everyone is wearing headgear to focus better on their task, the difference being, he’s listening to you. Your day is slow, with the big project finished, you and your team can kick back a bit, have a chat while ironing the last wrinkles.

Michael has been listening while you were chatting with that stupid cow, Marissa, about the last movie you’ve watched at that theater that shows mostly old black and white flicks; Michael has managed to garner quite the knowledge about old time Hollywood and Cinecittà and has discovered a fondness for old Hammer movies himself, even though the movies he prefers the most star you while you’re pleasuring yourself (something you’re doing quite frequently, since the asshole doesn’t seem to be that interested in you anymore), the theater? Your webcam and your apartment.

His focuses his attention when you go to have a coffee with your ‘work wife’ Jenny; through your phone he hears that you two are going downstairs, to the cafeteria of the building: one day you and him will do the same, pick a place to call your own, just to have a break. You have only bought your phone with you, it’s easy for him to listen to the inane chat, even though the cafeteria is packed; he’s not truly focusing on the conversation, just to the sound of your lovely voice as you wait for your coffee (espresso, a splash of oat milk and half sugar) and your favorite pastry (pain au chocolat, vegan); it’s when the asshole’s name drops that he stops working and focus only on you.

“You know we’ve been trying truly hard, at least we used to.” You say with a defeated tone he doesn’t like. “Then we stopped for his big project, I understand that he couldn’t follow that and my hormonal cycle.”

Michael grits his teeth; he’s been looking out for you for the better part of the year, before? He wasn’t your guardian angel and it had been difficult for him to put together the pieces, since you don’t use that many apps to store your personal life and information.

“Wait.” Jenny stops you. “Wasn’t he the one who wanted to start trying again?” “Yes.” From your tone only Michael can imagine you pinching the bridge of your nose. “He’s been repeating me to check my ovulation, write everything down or use those pregnancy like sticks, and what does he do the weekend I am at my peak? Leaves for work!”

Michael has to clench his fists when he understands what you and Jenny are talking about: children. You and the asshole having a baby!

Michael has to leave his small office and storms to the bathroom where he can pace around like a caged beast: that son of a bitch wants to knock you up, while he’s having an affair with the whore next door?

Calm, he tells himself, you need to stay calm and focused.

“What kind of trip is that?” He hears Jenny ask. “Work. His firm is trying to promote a new kind of prosthesis during this orthopedics conference; he has to be there.” “Why can’t you go with him? Take the weekend off? You wouldn’t be the only partner to go, I think”. “There have been some issues.” Your voice lowers conspiratorially. “Some of his colleagues had gone with their mistresses, on firm expenses and now all family members are banned from going.” “Hmm.” Jenny doesn’t seem too convinced. “Are you sure he wants to truly try?

Michael hears you sigh and wished he was there, not in this stupid bathroom!

“We are more distant. I keep telling myself that we had to both work on big projects at the same time, that we were forced to focus on work more than we would have liked and that, after the storm, things would go back to normal.”

Michael hears you sniff and the soft sound of Jenny’s hand on yours.

“What’s your gut feeling, love?” She asks, with a quiet voice. “That is not a storm and that he’s asked to try for a baby again because he doesn’t know how to handle all of this.” “Perhaps him going away for the weekend isn’t such a bad thing.”

Michael likes Jenny, she’s smart, calls IT only when she has a real issue and treats all of them like they are people, not the weird nerds hiding in the basement; he reckons Jenny is a bit of a nerd as well, based on the Star Trek knickknacks on her desk. Yes, when you and him are together, she’s one of the friends he’ll advise you to stick with: you’ll have to drop many of them, too stupid for you, and for him, but not Jenny, she can stay.

Michael hides in one of the stalls and opens the secret app on his phone where he keeps all your photos and videos. Some are racy, you pleasuring yourself using your favorite dildo and clit sucker, your sobs of pleasure going straight to his cock every time, but that’s not what he is looking for as his thumb swipes through all the pics he has, until he’s found the one he loves the most: you on the sofa, dressed in an oversized jumper, as you read your book. You look homely, the picture of what he wants your lives to be: quiet and filled with each other’s presence, you two don’t need anyone else, Or perhaps...

His mind goes back to the conversation he’s just heard. Michael doesn’t truly care for children but for you? He’ll give you a soccer team of babies if only you asked, fuck you full of his cum until he’s sure he’s bred you, only to fuck you some more once you’re full. His finger slides through the photos until he finds one of you in your bathing suit, just to imagine your tummy full of his child and your breast swollen with milk, begging to be sucked: yeah, the idea of knocking you up becomes more and more appealing as the minutes pass. He just needs to make sure the asshole doesn’t manage before he does.

Michael goes back to his cubicle with a lighter heart, now that he knows what the stakes are; he even whistles his favorite song as he orders a bouquet of the flowers you love (white callas and light pink lilies), to have them sent to your workstation: this has been his only outward way to express his feelings for you and today you need something nice to look at, after your heartfelt conversation with Jenny. As he focuses again on the firewall, Michael mentally pats himself on the back for having cloned the asshole's phone by mistake: you will have to know what is going on, it will hurt you, but he’s going to be there for you, unlike your fiancé.

Later that night, Michael is storing all he has on the asshole on the USB pen he’s bought on the way back to his small apartment; as one of the computers is working on the background, out of curiosity he checks if what the asshole has told you about the ban on partners going to conventions is true or not: if he’s lying, he’s going to add to the mountain of proofs he has, if not, well, it means that even him plays fair sometimes.

He stares at the desktop, before clicking on his browser icon: obviously is a picture of you, a selfie you’ve taken on holiday; you look so relaxed and happy, the shadows the straw hat you’re wearing paint on the skin of your cleavage are so elegant: he’s never met a woman who can be classy even when wearing a skimpy bikini. You are truly a Goddess among your kind, the best and the smartest, created just for him. He hopes you’ll let him snap racy pictures of you, once you two are together; nothing obscene or pornographic, just to celebrate your beauty and grace. Michael thinks he will be able to convince you, otherwise something in your water to make sure you’re pliant will make do.

You don’t want to be at this stupid office party. Yes, your last project was a success, all your colleagues want to celebrate, but you are in no mood, thanks to your cheating, asshole of a boyfriend.

You don’t know who sent you the USB pen, you’re not sure you’ll ever thank them for opening your eyes, but the truth is in front of you and you have no way to stop knowing what has been happening behind your back; given the chance, would you rather not have received the envelope and the USB? Nursing your umpteenth cocktail you’re not sure of the answer.

The envelope was white and lacked a return address, which was unusual but not overly so: the local Catholic Church leaves leaflets when Christmas and Easter are near, to promote the activities during these periods of time, never envelopes but you thought they were changing their strategies and opened it once you were home, alone as usual. The USB had surprised you, the printout of the reservation made of your fiancé and the girl next door, for the conference, propelled you to the bathroom, where you threw up your lunch and afternoon snack.

There was another message, smaller, that invited you to check the USB pen in your hand, if you wanted to know the truth; you stayed rooted on the spot for the longest time, torn between wanting to ignore everything, or let the bomb explode. Time passed, punctuated by the old clock in the kitchen, until you made up your mind, and choose the latter, you’re a daughter of Pandora after all, and plugged the USB in your computer: a barrage of text, photos and audio messages attacked you, you managed to go through a small percentage of them, before you had to run to the bathroom to throw up again, your stomach churning bile until you had nothing left to give. After this onslaught you cried with your knees tight against your chest, until you felt so tired you’d sleep on the cold bathroom floor, but you forced yourself to go back to the living room and went through all the proofs of your fiancé’s infidelity with the whore next door.

You didin’t know your personal guardian angel was listening to everything and looking using the smart TV you’ve bought last year. Michael’s heart hurt with your pain, he wished he was there to comfort you; if only you had waited for him, instead of being with the asshole, he wouldn’t have to make you go through all of this. It was your fault for not having faith that your true love was waiting for you: you’ll go through this cathartic experience and then be free to start your new life, the one Michael will tailor for you, and for himself.

With gritted teeth he watched the fight you have with the asshole, all the excuses he spewed, and then the insults against you, before he left slamming the door. He saw you angrily drink and cry until you passed out on the couch and he stayed up all night, watching you through the TV to make sure you were still breathing. It hurt him that you were hurt, but it was the price to pay for a better future.

You have been on autopilot for the rest of the week: went to work, where you used a mere fraction of your attention on the last details of the finished project, and then returned home to cry. You fiancé, better, former fiancé at this point, didn’t even try to patch things up with you, on Thursday, after you returned from work, all his stuff had disappeared and he hadn’t even left a note or sent you a message. You truly spiraled after that, called your best friend and wept on the phone for hours, until you head hurt; on a whim you had even thought about not going to work on Friday, but you couldn’t, not with the presentation of the bloody project and the celebration party afterwards. You decided to settle with finishing the alcohol at home and sent disparaging texts to your ex, who never answered them (little you knew that your own guardian angel had to do with that, and with the fact that he had disappeared with all his belongings; that was not something Michael thought you needed to worry your pretty head with).

You played your part on Friday, said your little spiel and shook hands on command, wore a fake smile for everyone to see, until you could hide in the conference room, nursing glasses after glasses of cheap alcohol, until you felt like enough time had passed to return home.

You’re sitting at the big desk, facing morosely the incredible view from such a high floor, with a glass and bottle you’ve taken from the open bar. You’re drunk, it's so easy to ignore the little voice in your head that’s telling you to stop, call a Uber and go home when your tummy is sloshing with alcohol. You’re so detached from your body that the door opening with a small creak doesn’t scare you.

“I thought nobody was here.”

You turn your head slowly and feel the strain of your eyes as they focus on the intruder. On first sight you don’t recognize him, then his name comes back to you Michael, one of the IT guys who solves all your technical issues. You’ve met him a couple of times, once when Marissa had some issued with her computer. You had felt bad for the guy, who had to come upstairs to simply turn the switch Marissa had swore was already on the right position. He had said something nasty about your colleague under his breath, ‘vapid cunt’, or something among those lines, as he was leaving. You didn’t approve of his language, but understood his frustration: he probably had to deal with stupid accidents like that all the time, his patience must have slipped; you had stopped him before he entered the lift and said you were sorry on your colleague’s behalf. You could have sworn his eyes had focused on you, behind his tick glasses, as if he was assessing you, judging you, but it was just a moment, then his blue eyes seemed to clear and you had repeated yourself that you have been consuming too much true crime, if such an innocuous man could cause weird thoughts in your head.

You had seen him around, he had saved your arse when your computer stopped working the day of a big presentation, tall and gangly, and always greeted him with a smile and a wave, which he would awkwardly respond to: he was one of the many people you knew, but weren’t truly friends with.

“Hi.” You try to sound sober. “Far from the madding crowd as well?”

Ok, you tell yourself, that’s not too bad.

Michael gently closes the door, you don’t see it but he locks it as well, before he walks towards you.

“Something like that.”

You stare at him, truly taking his appearance in for the first time. He’s awkward, standing the way he does a couple of chairs away from you, but not ugly: he should dress better and wear more stylish glasses, but he is handsome, in a nerd kind of way; his eyes are a beautiful shade of blue, and he is tall, not imposing but with large shoulders.

“Come.” You say, patting the chair next to you. “Don’t stand where you are. Fancy a drink?”

Almost knocking a chair over, Michael walks where you are and stiffly sits.

“I think I am full for the night.” He answers, when you offer him your own glass. “Are you sure? I’d loathe to drink by myself.” “Sure.” He answers. “Uhm, congratulation with the project.” He adds.

You pour yourself a generous amount of alcohol and drink it down in one go.

“That? Child’s play.” “Still, a great amount of money coming this way.” “Yeah.” You’re suddenly more morose than before. “All I am good for.”

You sway on the chair and distantly feel Michael’s hands, his very large hands, grab you by your shoulders before you can fall.

“I’m fine Mickey boy.” You slur with your face dangerously close to his. “I’m nothing but trash worth kicking anyway!”

You shrug him off and try to keep an upright position.

“Don’t say that about yourself!”

Something in his tone forces your drunken mind to focus on him.

“What do you know?” You bare your teeth at him and he has to keep you upright again. “I’m with this guy for years, years! I turn down the position in the USA office for him! Lose weight! Learn how to cook like his sodden mama and what does he do? He fucks the next door neighbor, that fat cow! I have to starve myself and be shamed when I can’t be a bloody size 8 and he fucks her! Sends her dick picks! Talks shit about me!”

The same way rage had possessed you, it disappears, leaving you a shaking handful of nerves; before you even realize it, you fall against Michael and start crying, fat, inconsolable sobs against his ugly sweater.

Michael holds you tight, reveling in the fact that you are in his arms, never mind the reason: you’ve opened up your heart to him, you’re seeking him for consolation! Not Jenny, not your best friend, but him! Because you know, in your heart of hearts, that Michael is the one for you!

He knows he’s awkward as he caresses your back and tries to murmur soothing words against your hair, but it doesn’t matter, not when all his hard work has come into fruition!

“I’m so sorry.” He hears from the general direction of his chest. “I don’t know what happened.” “That’s fine.” He answers, his arms still caging you. “Truly Michael, I don’t know what possessed me.”

When you finally manage to lift your head from his chest, you stare into his eyes, now dark pools your drunken brain can’t read.

Michael loses himself in your beautiful face and in the pain still marring your features: you need consolation and not the kind that words offer. He hadn’t planned all of this when he had followed you in the conference room, but you are in his arms, needy and sad and his cock is rock hard. You are causing all of this, he tells himself, because you need this and him. And he can’t say no to you.

His big hand sneaks into your hair to pull you closer to him; in your drunken state you don’t realize what’s happening, if not when his lips crash on yours, uncoordinated and dry. You try to push him away, to beg him to stop, but he uses your parted lips to slip his tongue in to deepen the kiss, his free hand grabs your hips and he pulls you on the table, slotting himself between your parted legs, his erection shocking you. When he starts kissing your neck, you try to push him away again, too drunk and weak to manage and he grabs your wrist in his big hand, to push you against the cold glass of the table; his free hand slips under your skirt and his fingers sneak under your panties.

“If you don’t want me, why are you so wet?”

He towers over you, his eyes unreadable behind his glasses and you can’t help but sob again: your drunken brain can’t find an adequate response, your body on fire after such a long time without another person’s touch.

Your body arches when his fingers slip inside your cunt, warm and wet, to fuck your hole hard and fast: he’s seen you masturbate so many times he knows how you like it, how you want his thumb on your clit, how to curl them to find your G spot and bully it, while you trash and cry, your muscles impossibly tight around him. He knows the sounds you’re making, those high pitched sobs that mean you’re close.

“Nooo…” You moan when his fingers leave your body.

Michael’s stare his cold and burns you at the same time, you have to hide your face because you can’t stand it deep into your soul; roughly he forces you to look at him.

“Look at me when I fuck you.” His palm cups your cunt cruelly. “You don’t get to come if you stop staring at me.”

Your drunken mind wants to come, wants an orgasm to take the pain away, it doesn’t matter who gives it to you, as long as your heart stops hurting. Then you will forget all about it.

A scared sound escapes your mouth when his big cock is revealed to you: you’ve never had anything so tick inside of you, you’re scared. Michael seems to revel in the fear he sees in your eyes, he can feel his erection grow with it, the knowledge that you’re finally at his mercy fueling his desire: you’re going to take all of him and be grateful that his seed will grow inside your belly, he’s going to give you all the time to adjust, but he’s coming inside of you and you with him.

Impatient he pulls your shirt and bra out of the way to free your beautiful breasts and he jacks himself faster at the sight of your tits. He bats your hands away when you try to cover yourself and curls one hand around a breast, until you cry out in pain.

“You’re all mine to see.” The vise on your breast is so tight he’s going to leave imprints. “Say it!”

You’re drunk and petrified, you don’t understand where this violence comes from, you just want to come and be done with all of this.

“I’m… I’m all yours to see.” You manage to say with tears threatening to fall from your eyes. “It wasn’t so hard.” Michael’s hand travels from your abused tit to your cheek to dry the tears already there. “I want to make you feel good, but you have to behave. Will you be my good girl?”

If you weren’t this drunk you’d fight him off you, scream bloody murder until someone comes to your rescue, but you’re drunk and desperately need all the human connection that you can scrape. You’d never sleep with Michael, not in a million years, but you’re not in your right mind and you just slump against the cool glass, incapable of stopping him.

Michael’s bulbous head nudges your wet entrance, slowly he slides in and groans at how wet you are; he hasn’t had many partners but no cunt has felt as perfect as yours, the ripple of your muscles as your body desperately tries to adjust to his size makes his blood boil, your pained moans and keens spur him on and his pushes become faster and faster, the more your cunt opens up for him. Desperate you try to relax, the pain of his intrusion mixes with pleasure, your drunken mind is confused, your body arches when he bottoms out and your eyes roll in their sockets: you’ve never been so full in your entire life.

Michael has to stop once he is sitting fully inside of you, your hole strangles his cock in ways no other cunt has ever managed, your nipples are erect with the pleasure he’s giving you and you’re making those small sounds that have him want to fuck you hard and fast, but he’s promised you pleasure, and he is no liar. Your tearful eyes are on him as he bends his back to envelope one nipple in his mouth to suck, gently, the other is getting pinched by his long fingers; slowly the pleasure mounts over the pain you’ve been feeling, your drunken body responds to his ministration and you moan, eyes on his as he switches between nipples with satisfied groans, your hips even lift to invite him to move, and he follows your movements, picking up speed when he feels your muscles give up to his ownership of your body.

You moan and keen when he picks up speed and he pulls your legs over his arms to fold you and fuck you faster, your wet cut squelches with every push, his cockhead bullies your G spot mercilessly and you try to squirm away, the pleasure too much and not enough. Michael bends against your body again and kisses you, tongue proprietary in your mouth he snuffs your scream when you come, your cunt so tight around his cock that he follows, copious in your hungry hole, and keeps fucking you, his erection still at full mast, fueled by your desperate sounds of overstimulation: he’s dreamed about this for too long to stop now.

You try to beg, to scream, but his hand around your throat cuts off your desperate prayers, your scratch his wrist and he simply fucks you harder, grinds against your poor clit tighter and your legs kick against his back, spurring him on: he knows you like it hard and even if you don’t? It’s what you’re getting now.

With a groan he pulls out and turns you face first on the table, fast he enters you again and grabs your tits to use your body as leverage to fuck your hole savagely, his hold the only reason your body is still up, your hands try to grab uselessly at the glass, his heavy balls slap against you and pleasure burns through you, painful it courses through your body and you squirm with it, tears falling from your eyes as his cock rapes your hole deeper and deeper, until he comes, panting your insides again, triggering your own orgasm.

You pant, the cold of the table nice against your over heated skin. Distantly you feel Michael’s lips on your nape, he’s leaving small kisses and nibbles on the soft skin, when you try to move you moan, your cunt curling around his still erect cock.

“Michael, please.” You beg, so sore already. “If you didn’t want me, why is your cunt strangling my cock?” He whispers cruelly in your ear.

Michael can’t believe his body can still be in need of yours, but he’s not going to say no, not when your cunt is massaging his erection so deliciously. Fast he removes his cock and plugs your cunt closed with his fingers, he can’t risk his seed to go to waste, not when he’s trying to knock you up; one handed he turns you on your back again and enters your hole with a groan: he’s found his home and he’s not going to leave it.

“Please Michael.” You sob. “I’m so sore!”

He cups your cheek and kisses you again. You submit to his ownership, afraid of triggering his rage; distantly a part of your brain is screaming that you don’t want this, that you should fight him, but you don’t have the strength to, not when you just want to forget your ex for a while ans are so scared of his rage: you will feel dirty afterwards and will drunk yourself in a stupor to forget, but that’s problems for future you, now you can't do anything else, you just want the pain to stop.

“I was too forceful, was I?” Michael caresses your body, already getting used to the feel of your skin under his. “I’ll go slow this time, love. Give me your last one and we’ll stop.”

For now, he thinks. He’s not done with marking all your holes as his.

“Don’t hurt me.” You sob, small and pathetic. “Never.”

His hips move slowly against yours, long and deep pushes that you feel everywhere in your body. His hands are at your breasts again, massaging them in tandem with his pushes inside of you; you squirm, your muscles sore with the abuse he’s subjected you to, your clit inflamed with the way he grinds against it, still sparks of pleasure explode in your muddled brain, your cunt clenches around him, pulling him in tighter and tighter, that he can’t help but grind against you, the image of the ring of his come and yours around his base and the squelch of your hungry hole spurring him on. He’s not going to last long and you’re coming with him again, sucking all your seed inside of you, until it takes. He’s going to fuck you through your pregnancy as well, his hips grind faster when he imagines the added pressure of your full belly and your tits, leaking milk he’s going to be all the happier to suck.

“No Michael please!” You beg when he starts fingering your clit. “Be my good girl.” He groans, punishing you with hard thrusts. “You’re going to come and drain my cock dry, or I’m not going to stop until you do.”

Your body arches at his words, the part of your mind that’s still coherent reels at the realization that he’s been fucking you bareback, your cunt clenches at the thought, tighter and tighter as he fucks your deeper and faster, until you come with a pained sob and he follows you, emptying his balls fully inside of you.

He stays rooted inside of you, willing his seed to take as your muscles massage his soft cock to the point of overstimulation; you’re a mess of tears and ruined make up under him, still too shook after so many orgasms, and he uses your fragility to enact the last part of his plan.

He grabs the glass and bottle still intact after your coupling and fishes for the small packet of drugs he’s bought on less than savory websites (the wonders of the deep web, if one knows where to look) and dissolves one capsule in the remaining alcohol. Gently he raises your head and forces you to drink everything: you need to be pliant for this part, he can’t risk you acting silly if you two meet some coworkers on the way out.

Once you’ve drunk everything, he stays inside of you, just enjoying your body as the drug takes effect, only then he’s going to dress you and help you back to your apartment, where he’s going to fuck you for the whole weekend. Hopefully his purchase will not be needed, but if you misbehave he’ll have to give some more of it, he needs you to be pliant, ready to follow his breeding project. As you stare at him with glassy eyes, Michael decides he’s going to drug you anyway and once the effects drain off your system, hopefully you’ll buy his story, that you two went on a weekend binge of alcohol and sex. If things will go as he’s planned, come Sunday you’ll be embarrassed and he will buy you breakfast and ask you out on a proper date, if you start complaining, then he has to use plan B, the one he had devised when he had found out you had a fiancé. You don’t know it, but if you are going to be a silly goose, he’s going to hide you away in the small farm out in the country he’s bought under a false name (he is a man who needs little to survive and has managed to put away a big sum easily), until he can break you and remake you into his perfect little wife. He will have to lock you in the basement for a time and use the fake posts he’s prepared in advance to justify you disappearing from your life, but he’s positive that’s not going to be needed: you are his other half, after all.

[unhappy-day-in-hell]

The Dissection of Hazbin Hotel, Episode One: part 1

Hazbin Hotel is finally coming out and I want to talk about it!

Seems unreal, doesn’t it!? After four years it’s here, and it’s one of the biggest train wrecks I've ever seen with my own two eyes!

Like many people, I used to be a fan. I got into Hazbin at the end of 2021, and stayed with it until mid-2023, when I woke up to the series’ flaws and saw how horrible Vivziepop was as a person. But for that time, Hazbin gave me something to look forward to during a dark time in my life. I was excited for it. I liked the idea it would be a complex, dark, and nuanced look into some dark topics. I was convinced Angel’s trauma would be handled with care, because Addict handled it with care. I was convinced Hazbin would be a show that said “no one is beyond becoming a better person if they just make the decision to try, no matter how much bad they’ve done.” Being set in Hell, where the UNIVERSE ITSELF has given up on the souls damned there (the furthest extreme you can possibly get to), was a good way to exaggerate this conflict.  

Spoilers: It wasn’t that! Apparently it was never meant to be that in the first place!

Vivziepop threw out the original premise that everyone loved in favor of a Heaven war! She ripped off the “Rose Quartz = Pink Diamond” reveal with Rosie-Lilith-Eve. By extension, they de-clawed Alastor by making him Rosie’s pawn. (I loved Alastor. I wanted to see more of his deranged self; I wanted to see what he would do when he was proven wrong when redemption was possible.)

When I watched Episode One, I started writing my thoughts down. Then I tripped and wrote 13,000 words.

So I’m gonna post them here as a review! It’s long, so I’m going to break it into four parts.

I can be very forgiving of flawed projects, but in regards to Hazbin, I’m petty. No nitpick is too small. I will compare it to the pilot (because it’s in that Viv-canon-limbo where you need to have seen it but she pretends it’s not canon), and I’ll have tangents and rewrite ideas.

The story-crafting for this show is one of the more important elements to me, so I give a lot of attention to that.

And there will be SPOILERS, including all leaks! So just be careful if you don’t want spoilers or leaks! 

Let’s go!

Part 1: //

Part 2:

Part 3:

Part 4:

--Hazbin Hotel opens with a huge exposition dump about the supposed creation of Hell.

And IMMEDIATELY, we’ve run into a problem.

Sometimes, stories will open with lore dumps like this. They can be useful in giving the audience important knowledge, or setting the stage for the world. However, this lore dump provides us with neither of those things.

Even for people who aren’t religious (me), the story of Eden is really well known (even just the pop culture version of it.)  That means you don’t need to tell us the creation story at this moment-- What we NEED right now is to understand what this version of Hell is like.

What info do we need in order to understand the setting of Hell that Charlie lives in?

Important stuff like this: Hell functions like a big city with laws, and isn’t like the pop-culture fire and brimstone image we might have; dead sinners manifest with new bodies and are exclusively in the Pride Ring, which makes them the property of Lucifer, and they’re immortal unless killed by angels; angels come down once a year to erase them to keep them from becoming too numerous. Emphasize that it’s like a shitty country, with shitty jobs and leaders, Lucifer at the tippy-top. Emphasize the Sinners’ fear of the annual exterminations -- emphasize that Charlie feels helpless but wants to save them.

Your job as a storyteller is to tell us what we need to know, when we need to know it.

Right now, we don’t need to know why Hell was created – we need to know how Hell WORKS in the present. That’s your goal, to bring us into the world.

The only necessary information this narration gives us is that “exterminations exist." Everything else about the deeper lore can be shown to us later, after we’ve had some time to get to know the world.

(Have this be a fairytale Charlie tells during an emotional, quiet moment; or in a flashback, Lilith tells this to a baby Charlie. Or it can be a musical number Lilith or Lucifer sings for her, trying to make themselves look better than they actually were.)

--“Angels are beings made of pure light who worshipped good and shielded all from evil.” WE’RE FIVE SECONDS INTO THIS AND ALREADY WE HAVE A HUGE THING TO UNPACK. Buckle up.

So Hazbin's lore goes like this: the Angels already exist, and they worship a vague figure of “Good” (who isn’t God), and defend people from “Evil” (who isn’t the devil, because Lucifer hasn’t rebelled yet.) Since Lucifer hasn’t rebelled yet, evil really shouldn’t exist yet. Where is this evil coming from?

(I have a bad feeling it’s Roo -- the Root of Evil, that character Viv drew years ago and said is a looming presence in the distance. Is Roo some kind of “eldritch abomination”, who existed before the angels? Sadly, I think that’s very likely, at this point.)

Either way: Good and Evil are forces that already existed at the start of creation, before Adam and Eve and everything else, and Lucifer and the Fallen Angels had nothing to do with it. Which just doesn’t mesh, if you’re going to have a Christian base for the lore.

Also: It says the angels defend people from Evil. But who are the angels defending? They explicitly show that humanity hasn’t been created at this point, because we see the birth of Adam in a few moments; so who the heck needed defending during this period of time!?

…

Alright, to get this out of the way: Hazbin Hotel won’t use God as a character, apparently because they don’t want to offend anyone, or so I heard. It’s something to debate; was this a good idea on their part, or is it cowardice? For me, I personally feel like it’s the latter. The show has already taken many other incredibly sacred figures and stories, and jumbled them up and tweaked them for the show’s awful lore -- and Viv has never cared about offending anyone before so why would she care now -- which is why it feels spineless to me, for them to NOT go all the way and just use the Capital G himself. Plenty of other stories have used the Christian God as a character just fine.

If they’re worried about doing it tactfully, the solution is to just… NOT write God as an asshole? Maybe try for some genuine sincerity in the writing for once? Make him the single character in the cast who is never played for a joke, and whose personality has no stupid quirks. Have him be very distant, maybe even locked in Heaven’s Palace, that way you don’t have to show him more than a handful of times, but the audience will know he exists; and use his limited screentime to make him display wisdom and warmth.

Maybe he acts like a distant observer of the Universe, and he clearly knows something we don’t; he tut-tuts at the bad things, but “This, You See, is how it Must Be. And by the end of the show he’s right because everything works out for the good. Or... something.

My point is, they already used all this other sacred stuff from the bible, they might as well go all the way. (Viv certainly didn’t have a problem using Lilith or vodou symbols, did she?)

--Lucifer was a dreamer who was deemed dangerous to the order of Heaven. Then he fell in love with Lilith for her fierce independence and they wanted to share free will with humanity.

This story. This rewriting of the usual biblical tale to make Lucifer sympathetic.

It just doesn’t work.

It also ties back to their refusal to use God as a character. The character of God was an INTEGRAL piece of this mythological story, and God and Lucifer were inseparably intertwined figures in it. Lucifer’s entire rebellion and “Pride” sin was against God. You could say... Lucifer has major fucking "Daddy Issues." (That's a phrase Alastor will say later!) To take away his Daddy Issues is just so lame.

Even worse, this story is trying to paint Lucifer as a misunderstood artist who cared about creation. (He's so different from the actual mythological figure, it makes you wonder what the point of even using these figures as characters is.)

…There are two possibilities.

Possibility One: I wonder if this is a “sanitized” version of the story that Lucifer tells Charlie to make himself look better. (This feels very much like one of those “history lessons” that a fantasy world will introduce to the characters early on, only for that history lesson to be shown as a lie later on.) But if that’s the case, it’s WEIRD for Hazbin Hotel to do that with the story of the Garden of Eden?? Everyone/most everyone in the audience will already know the gist of how the Eden story goes, so they'll know this retelling isn’t right -- so what, are we expected to wait for Charlie to gormlessly stumble into the truth, ~as a twist~ that GASP D:> her father INTENTIONALLY fucked humanity over!?!?!? HE DID IT ON PURPOSE AND ALL THE SUFFERING OF HELL WAS HIS GOAL!?!?!? DAD HOW COULD YOU. That’ll be a shitty twist. The audience already knows this, so it’ll just be pounding our heads into the wall waiting for Charlie to get there.

(And also, it’s very suspicious they don’t actually SAY what Lucifer’s “ideas and dreams” were for creation. So that could be a lie by omission that he uses for his fairytale. In reality, he might have had awful, shitty, malicious ideas, which Heaven stopped him from doing, and Lucifer’s been a big baby about it ever since.)

Possibility two: This is legitimately the retelling of the Eden story in the Hazbin Universe. Which just suuuuuuucks! If Lucifer was a kind, caring individual, why would he let his Hell Kingdom become a total SHITHOLE of suffering? Wouldn’t he be a kind ruler? Wouldn’t he try to run the ship better?

And it’s a horrible decision to woobify him in general. You’re seriously going to de-claw THE DEVIL? You’re gonna rip out his teeth and make him soggy!? You’re gonna make the King Of Evil, The Father of All Lies, LUCIFER, EMBODIMENT OF PRIDE, a wet meow-meow sadboy who did nothing wrong?? COME ON!! What makes Lucifer an interesting character IS THAT HE MADE THE CHOICE to fuck everything up on purpose! He’s interesting BECAUSE of how he, to this day, wants to ruin the Earth to stick it to God! You can’t just take that away from him!

It’s incredible that these two possibilities are on opposite ends of the spectrum, but both are unsalvageable. There is NO winning with this backstory. They fucked up.

--Ah wait there it is. The apple is the same color as the Vague Evil’s eye from above.

Yep….

Man, making Eve the twist villain of the story (before or after Roo shows up? Is Roo inside of Eve controlling her? It doesn’t matter). You couldn’t write a worst twist.

I ask you: Why is it Eve, and not Adam who is the secret twist villain? Or, why isn’t it Adam+Eve TOGETHER who are the twist villains?

If this were the only instance of female characters being demonized, I wouldn’t think anything of it -- but there is a clear pattern across all of Viv’s writing. Viv is a known misogynist, and this feels like an extension of her misogyny. Of course the twist villain is female. Of course Roo The Secret Eldritch Abomination is female. The male characters get sympathy, or stuff handed to them. Lucifer is a good lad who did nothing wrong! Alastor isn’t evil, he was hired to protect the Hotel and is a father figure to Charlie! ADAM got to go to Heaven and Eve didn’t!

I have absolutely no doubt that the blame will be put on Eve, and Adam will be given a pass because Eve tricked him to eat the fruit of knowledge, or something.

--Yep, this thing is animated like a Root. It’s totally Roo.

--Eyes… just like Roo’s root tongue. Yep.

--Heaven only allowed Lucifer to see the bad of humanity, never the good.

They really ARE trying to woobify him, aren’t they? At this point, the only way they could salvage any of this is by making this a sanitized bedtime story (which again wouldn’t work in itself.)

This is the fucking DEVIL we’re talking about.

He is the King of Hell, and therefore, he is the ruler of the Princes of Sin, the Ars Goetia, and the legions of Hell that are trying to corrupt the Earth! We see in Helluva Boss that demons do actually go to make Earth worse. If Lucifer is King and didn’t want this to happen, he has the power to stop at.

Plus: there are portals to go to Earth, and magic to watch the Earth as seen on Helluva Boss. So Lucifer has every means to look at the Earth any way he wants, and could see the good the Earth has to offer…… and it's because he’s the one bringing evil to the Earth in the first place in order to destroy good (technically to fight against God, but God ain't here, so "Good" it is.) That’s still Hell’s MO in this world. We’ve seen this on Helluva Boss, which is canon to this universe. And you cannot convince me that the King of Hell was “oblivious to it” or "the other royal demons have their own power and Lucy can't stop them" or some excuse like that, as if the Princes of Sin and the Ars Goetia are doing it secretly under Lucifer’s nose and Lucifer doesn’t know it’s going on. You cannot convince me of this.

Plus even then -- if Lucifer were still a sadboy who WANTS to see the good of the Earth (even if all he sees is the bad), that means… in theory, he has a “good heart”. So why isn’t he a kinder King?

Because this is either a fake fairytale or Viv is a bad writer who doesn’t think anything through. (It’s both.)

--Lucifer lost his spark, huh? What does that actually mean? Does it mean his title as King is only symbolic and he doesn’t do any ruling? (This can’t be right – we see later in the episode Lucifer still has some authority over various things, like meeting with Adam but foisting that responsibility on Charlie.) Does losing his spark just mean he gave up trying to be good, and now just revels in evil?

And, as the embodiment of Pride, shouldn’t Lucifer of all people be the most stubborn, unshakable person in existence? Instead of losing his SPARK, he should just grow jaded and bitter but still have that fire to prove he's better than everyone. He’s the King of Hell for a reason.

(And if Lilith thrives, why isn’t she the ruling Queen of Hell?)

--So Lilith uses her powers to Empower Demons…

This wording is VERY suspicious, and once again, feels like a sanitized bedtime story for Charlie.

What does empowering demons actually MEAN? Huh? It sounds very good in this fairytale, but look at the evidence presented to us. We see what Hell is like (...eventually.) It’s a shithole where everyone is suffering and constantly beating and killing each other. For all we know, her “empowering demons” actually means she encourages everyone’s worst behavior, gives sinners powers and weapons that they can use against each other, and is the reason why Hell is so awful.

…Oh god, if LILITH is the cause of Hell being bad, and Lucifer is a Good Boy who sits back and doesn’t do anything, then it’s another female character being written to fuck everything up!

(We don’t know when Eve takes Lilith’s spot, but I don’t think it’s quite at this point in history. So Eve doesn’t get the blame here just yet. Hopefully?)  

--Overpopulation was always a bad motivation for Hazbin Hotel. I thought that even when I was a fan. Because: if Hell is a finite space where you can run out of room… then so is Heaven? If you start redeeming sinners for the sake of giving Hell more room… theeeeeen eventually HEAVEN is going to get overpopulated and run out of room. What then?

Hell also has other Rings the sinners are not allowed to go to. Are we going to mention the other Rings’ existence at any point? Will the idea of opening the other Rings up to sinners even be presented as an option at any point?

How much of Hazbin’s lore is going to be locked in Helluva Boss, unable to be shown in the series proper? Will the Princes of Sins, the Hellborn demons, the Ars Goetia ever make an appearance, or are they not allowed to? Will Charlie ever have to deal with the fact there is an entire slave caste in Hell, the Hellhounds? Is she going to free the Hellhounds? Imps are also oppressed, will the show ever explicitly TALK about that? Will the worldbuilding show us how imps, hellhounds, and Sinners intermingle in Pentagram City?

CAN HELLBORN DEMONS BE REDEEMED AND GO TO HEAVEN?

So many questions. And knowing Viv’s style, I highly doubt we’ll ever get any answers.

--So Charlie inherited her mother’s dream. But they completely neglected to mention what Lilith’s dream actually was. Do they mean she wants Charlie to “empowering sinners,” in general? Or did Lilith, specifically, want the exterminations to end?

They use such vague words, when this is one moment they should just give us a clear answer. This whole backstory was a mistake and a waste of time, but if you are going to use it to set up Charlie inheriting something from Lilith, you have to make it clear what she’s inheriting.

And also, while it’s not ENTIRELY a Chosen One scenario, in the pilot we got the sense that Charlie was the one who made the choice to try and help sinners, on her own. Now though, Charlie was GIVEN this dream by someone else, because she can’t have agency. It would be one thing if Lilith just taught Charlie to feel compassion (that would be fine, parents teach their kids morals all the time), but Charlie still came to the redemption conclusion on her own – it’s another for her to be said to have “inherited this from Lilith” or is carrying on Lilith’s legacy.

.................

With the opening monologue over, the only thing we know is that the lore is very messy. It has a Christian basis, but it's been fucked up so badly that it makes you wonder what the point even is.

Good and Evil are living eldritch forces that existed before creation and have nothing to do with God, Lucifer, or anything else like that.

There is no God, (who is the ENTIRE CENTRAL POINT for the biblical-inspired stuff in Hazbin); instead a whole Council of Elder Angels rules the universe.

Roo has no basis in anything.

I think in some tellings, Lucifer was the first Angel? Even if not, he was one of the highest. So Lucifer should be one of the ruling angels. They have to severely weaken him as a figure in order to make him under the control of the other angels. (After all, in Christian mythology, it's God who made Lucifer fall. Another way his absence fucks the story.)

And my final takeaway from combing over this lore is: why didn't Viv just make her own fantasy world? Everything in this show is only passingly similar to the stuff it's based on. If you're gonna take these aspects from religions and fuck with them so much, just make your own fantasy world where you can do whatever you want.

That was only the opening monologue. This is gonna be a long ride guys!

[hibiscus02]

I just read Legoland and I decided to compile some helpful tidbits about Penny's character, for all your fanfic writer needs!

If you want to write RTC fanfic using her canon personality and backstory, this is the place for you. I apologize if someone has done something similar!

•Let's start with her basic introduction in the play;

"PENNY is a young woman wearing French braids and a private school uniform; she has a bright smile." "PENNY: Hello. My name is Penny Lamb, and I am an aspiring animal conservationist." "PENNY speaks at an incredible speed, being an immensely nervous and self-conscious teenager. She literally trips over her words -- a volcano of passion and eloquence."

Now I'll give you some backstory and character info without getting into Legoland's plot. This is so people who don't have an interest in the story itself can still grasp the basics of Penny's character.

Both Penny and her little brother (Ezra) were homeschooled. They grew up on the Elysium Community Farm, just outside of Uranium City.

When Penny turned 13, she was already getting "itchy" to see the outside world (kids were not allowed to leave Elysium until they turned 16). She thought she knew what to expect after reading 'Anne of Green Gables'.

The Lambs snuck out to a Walmart and found out it was very different from what they thought it would be. They tried to strike up conversations with people but everyone seemed weirded out by them (they snuck out several times to try and "strike up friendly chats")

Eventually the manager called the police who drove them home. That's when "all that trouble happened"

Penny's parents got 15 years in prison for cultivation and trafficking of narcotics. Her and Erza were sent to Saint Cassian Catholic School (which as I'm sure you all know is the same school that the choir members attend, obviously, since Uranium City isn't big enough to have more than one school). It is stated to be a boarding school in this so that's some extra lore for us I guess.

"PENNY: The instant I see the boys staring at me like gaping fish with their heads cut off… and the girls looking at me with those Queen of England smiles… Oh, little Penny wasn’t in Kansas anymore… Uh-uh… I was sent to the charred black bowels of everlasting Hell!"

Despite her homeschooling education Penny is actually very smart, but the values taught to her don't really go over well with a catholic school system. She also likes to use 'big words'.

Penny gets sent to the school psychiatrist, and allegedly diagnosed as Bipolar and manic depressive (to me it seemed implied that the psychiatrist was a crook, but maybe I'm reading too much into it. Do with this information what you will).

She does go through a depressive episode though, or what sure looks like one; "PENNY: Like, sleeping in my room all day… tearing my hair and throwing up, kind of suicidal and depressed and everything… So, one day a bunch of girls were setting fire to my school bag -- second time that week -- and I wasn’t even crying anymore… because, you get to a point… when you’re waaaay beyond crying."

Penny can play the ukulele and she also composes songs (or, she writes at least one during the play, but y'know)

She seems to be very against cussing, just as much as Ocean is, and reprimands Ezra whenever he cusses throughout the play.

Penny is a pescetarian.

She goes on this insane cross-country trip with her brother to the US, and whenever they get to a new state she always recites how many endangered species they have there. I just thought this was cute, and very Jane-like.

So yeah, without getting too much into it, Penny throws hot coffee on this guy and uhhh, bites him? Apparently? The assault charges get dropped and she gets extradited back to Canada, but the story was leaked to the media and she was famous for a little bit.

The way Penny and Ezra got money to travel to the US in the first place was by selling his ADHD prescription meds, so she goes to trial for drug dealing, and gets probation (they don't specify how long she's on probation for in the play).

At the very end of the script, Penny states she'd like to say something about true love. I wanted to include part of what she said because it's quite lovely (and oh y'all can make so much fanfic with this); "In a world where we are ultimately alone, and die in our own arms, love is the closest you come to another person… because it is the closest you come to being another person. So be very careful what you love."

*this quote is apparently also in some versions of rtc, I assume as an easter egg of sorts.

Sorry this is so long. I love Penny Lamb a lot and I also think she's insane <3

[ikkleosu]

What was Daryl doing before he was taken?

Oh look, it feels like 2015 again and I’m combining evidence into one post for a theory. Bring it back for the remix. Okay so let’s go back to the script leak to start this theorising...

So, this tells us many many things about the set up. It tells us that Carol is looking for Daryl, and has thus discovered he is missing. Her finding his bike cannot just be a random “Carol’s out for a walk and finds Daryl’s bike”. It is MOST likely they have an agreed place where they meet or leave stuff for each other. At the end of season 1 filming, there was a location that was made to look American. It appeared to feature a garage and a bathing station.

That seems a reasonable place for Carl and Daryl to meet up - especially the bathing stations SCREAMS Carol. So lets assume that’s what this is. Now, again, having Carol just rock up and Daryl’s not there, or his bike is and he’s not, with no background to it doesn’t really work (but this is TWD so it might happen but... assuming not). They need to establish that they have this meeting place, or exchange post or whatever it is. To do that they can either show Caryl there together in a flashback, or them separately there collecting and leaving letters and goods for one another.  Obviously the former is preferable, but whatever. We know Norman filmed at this location in his pre-France clothes, and with his bike:

So at the very least we will see him there and not just proof he’s been there before. And presumably what happens is Carol shows up expecting to find him, and only find his stuff and proof he’s been there. But with this info in mind, let us look at the promo for the season and a theme that is emerging:

On it’s own, Daryl deserving a happy ending, is a bit “so what”. Particularly as it appears he went looking for it someplace not at home, and without the looming presence of Carol, it might be a very sucky thing for us Carylers. BUT it isn’t, and this is where it gets interesting...

I’m sorry, what did you just say??? “He was SO CLOSE to getting what he wanted” BEFORE he was taken. Well that’s interesting.

Obviously when Daryl left, they were very vague about why and what he was looking for. Maybe it was Rick, and maybe he was close to finding Rick - but the “being where he wanted to be”, that doesn’t sound like Rick related. It does - of course - make me think back to Leah (*spit spit*) and “where I belong” . And it must be remembered that Daryl was clear in Find Me he KNEW where he belonged, and it was with his family. So we have a discord here - he knew he belonged with his people but he went out looking for something, and at some point while out looking he gets CLOSE to finding what he wants.

There’s only IMO one way to square that circle, and it comes clear when we go back to the idea of Daryl deserving his “happy ending” and spending the spin-off DESPERATELY trying to get back home. From that we can only assume home is where he wanted to be, getting what he wanted. 

Thus, he had changed his mind. He was coming home. He had realised what he wanted was there, and always was. He was going home to CAROL. SHE is what he wanted. 

And it is possible that Carol knows that, and THAT is why she is on his tracks so fast. Because maybe at that meeting place I mentioned at the start, Daryl had told her - either in person, or in a letter, that he was coming home and she was what he wanted and where he wanted to be was with her, wherever she was. He just had to go do this thing first. 

So, when he didn’t turn up, she knew it wasn’t just that he’d met someone, decided to settle someplace else. She KNEW he was coming home and him NOT meant something bad had gone down, and when she finds his bike - well bad luck anyone who has been involved in Daryl’s absence cos they are about to be dead.

[reds-skull]

Hi sending this as an ask so you can answer it whenever it’s convenient.

The Hunter (and his men) knew way to fucking much about Simon and it was fucking creepy (great job!). The only person I can think of who would have that info and motive to go after Ghost would be Roba. He’d have the knowledge and hatred of Ghost and it would take time to build back his forces after Ghost dismantled them the first time. Turning and placing moles, building up a loyal army with enough money to hire Ghost not to mention the (red)skull motif and his apparent age. I know I’m probably wrong but is fun to guess and I’m super excited to find out what’s going on regardless.

I really liked this fic and I’m sad it’s almost over Ghost and Soaps relationship through the whole fic was handled really well and I think felt organic. From their first meeting (Soap was feral and Ghost didn’t know what to think lol) to Soap repeatedly saving Ghost’s life (metaphorically and literally) to eventually finally trusting each other (and those around them) and realising their mutual feelings.

Gaz is the best friend ever and is not paid nearly enough to put up with Soaps (and now Ghosts) bullshit. The man was ready to throw down if needed but still listened to trusted and trusted Soaps judgment, meanwhile Price is having multiple nervous breakdowns (respect) and is still keeping is children men inline and on task. He feels so guilty about failing Simon and MacTavish when it wasn’t even his fault both times to begin with it was out of his hands. This time though he’ll save them.

It’ll be interesting to see what Laswell turns up with after she finishes hunting down their leak… I almost feel sorry for whoever it was.

I loved the parallels between the story and the snippets of poem, that was so well done and cool! Am I correct in reading that you wrote those poems yourself? Because I didn’t realise till I got to the end note and wow i don’t even have words… I thought they were off some old poetry anthology I’d never head about and was going to look it up to read it.

Hi! Thank you a lot of the kind words <3

I do like your theory about Roba being the Hunter, and I do agree it would be the only logical option for their real identity... if it weren't for the poems.

I'm so happy you found Soap and Ghost's relationship dynamic organic, it was a part I struggled with, and I'm not sure that I managed to execute exactly as I wanted haha

I feel so bad for Gaz and Price in this AU, unfortunately everyone kinda got the short end of the stick with how the turn of events meant the 141 was never fully formed...

I don't plan on showing exactly what happens to the rat Laswell eventually finds, but you can be assured they'll probably suffer. She can definitely be scary when she feels the need to.

And I'm so so glad you mentioned the poems! Yeah, I wrote them but I was heavily inspired by a specific collection of English poems from the 10th century (the correct word for it is a codex actually but it's basically a collection). I'll be going in depth about what exactly is going on there in the post script, because it's basically another story I told in parallel to the main one in the fic. And I'll certainly give the name of the codex so you can read it, it's a little complicated to understand because it had to be translated from Middle English (and apparently every word there can be interpreted in like 3 different ways, not to mention the amount of missing pages and possible mistakes from copyists, but that's part of the course with books from over 1000 years ago...). The stories told there, and the language they used to convey them, is really unique and beautiful in my opinion.

I was kinda sad when no one seemed to bring it up, I figured most people just skipped them or they were just sort of too confusing lol, which is why I'll basically explain what I wanted the reader to understand from them in the post script (which I plan on posting at the same time as the last chapter, unlike with Not Alive, Nor Dead). The post script will also have a timeline for the fic, and how exactly it diverges from canon, as well as the deleted scenes and an extra poem I couldn't fit in the fic.

For now, I'll say the true identity of the Hunter is tied to those poems, and their character wouldn't really make sense if you skip them...

[caralara]

Why this Babygate situation is so different than before (but the same, too) and why it’s leading to The End

I don’t think I can count the number of anons in my inbox telling me to stop believing babygate will end soon because “the fandom has hoped before again and again and it never ended, we’ve been through this so many times” and of course it’s always accompanied by an “it’s for your own good sweetheart I just don’t want you to get disappointed and hurt” and yes yes yes thanks for the concern but I don’t take this lightly, you know? 

My optimism isn’t based purely on a gut feeling, and it’s not just based on Louis mentioning Freddie every now and again or him wearing one or two funny shirts. Nope. I looked at the big picture, the time frame from when Babygate began in 2014 (yes 2014) until now and looked at everything I could get my hands on and had a few thoughts about the why and how, so let me walk you through it, just so you can stop filling my inbox with concerned messages <3

First of all - if you’re new here go read my Xarry post to get some background info on why I think babygate even happened in the first place and why Louis went along with it more or less willingly, at least to some degree.

TL;DR: to make it possible for Harry to come out as bi (regardless of his true sexuality), Louis had to appear Super Straight™ in order to not out Larry in the process, and Harry had to sort of stunt with a man that wasn’t Louis - and how do you do that? Babygate & Xarry.

Ok, let’s dive right in. 

The Set-Up and Execution

Seeing as it seems they had Briana’s social media wiped clean by approximately end of 2014, the plan must have been in place by then already. This is just to illustrate that these sort of things are planned way ahead into the future - this is about 1.5 years before the baby was even born. 

In my opinion, it is debatable if it was ever clearly communicated to Louis or even planned to go through with the entire pregnancy and have the baby born from the beginning. I personally believe that from Briana’s side, they were more than happy to be along for the ride and stay in the spotlight for as long as possible, and management might have suggested something like that to them quite early on, as the Briana Tomlinson and baby Tomlinson URLs had been around at a very early point in the time line already - however, once it was clear that a baby would be born, and paraded as his child, as they saw that even the pregnancy news did very little to convince people that Louis was A Heterosexual, they seemed to push for the full blown execution of the baby-having-business.

Even though Louis managed to sabotage any narrative of a “Happy Couple Expecting a Baby” by calling the paps to Glastonbury where he was holding hands with Tamara Bell, management kept pushing the narrative of Louis and Briana getting back/staying together non-stop (which made it all so messy and confusing to the gp and fandom) and even engagement rumours were seeded.

This culminated in OTRA Belfast being cancelled on 20 October 2015, where Louis did babygate interviews all day long and that “Baby [Boy/Girl] Tomlinson Is Born” was accidentally published early - I believe, this is where Louis found out for sure they were after all planning to go through with the whole birth and him being a father, and not limiting the stunt to a “pregnancy,” and he & Harry and the other boys put their foot down and walked out. He went on and leaked Home that night, and almost exactly a month later he had Danielle Campbell as his new girlfriend introduced - I believe he sought out a beard / PR girlfriend as insurance to not get dragged further into any marriage/relationship stunts with Briana (also the reason why they worked and looked so well together, she was the only beard he ever chose for himself instead of management - and she meant autonomy, something positive, to him).

But can you see how he’s working the chess board, how he’s sacrificing one thing to gain another? How he’s creative and finding solutions to these situations, to get the best possible outcome for Harry and himself from these dilemmas? How he’s utilising what he learned from being in the middle of the storm of the music industry? All the tricks and hacks? How he - even back then - used clothes and double meanings to signal (The Future Is Now shirt, the only shirt ever he re-wore (two days in a row!) on stage - precisely the two shows he called the baby doll thrown on stage a fake baby, and the other one when Harry put the balloon under his shirt during Little White Lies on the day exactly three weeks before the One Conception article?). How he’d learned to manipulate the media? Instrumentalising that horrible “fan” phone call where a deranged person is threatening a literal baby (regardless whether you think it’s real or fake), he highly publicised it at precisely the perfect moment, exactly 6 months after we got the first real pap photos of Freddie - coincidentally also the limit to employ infant actors per year in California, he uses the phone call to plead for privacy, after a bazillion planned pap walks, and making the fandom self police and create a taboo about the topic babygate so they’d quiet down, that it wouldn’t get talked about, questioned and brought up as much anymore and he could put it to sleep for now (-- worked really well, didn’t it? /s).

He knows fandom dynamics, he knows what we talk about, he knows what the different sub bubbles of the fandom like antis, solos, twarries and larries need and he also knows he can trust us, larries, to have his back throughout all of that, picking up on his signalling and sticking around for his true self.

The Quiet Years

By now we’re in late 2016. Louis is an established dad, he’s throughout has signalled he’s not happy with the stunt but he is going along with it - he’s signalled with clothes, with songs recommended (like the Devlin Album or Daddy Cool), he’s referenced FRIENDS with the Sunglass Hut, follows people with paternity scandals on social media, and he’s flatout leaked and protested. 

print!Louis has explicitly not taken a paternity test, and he’s taken Briana to court approximately 28 times over custody, while he actually has never done that, and he’s paying less than $6k in child support each month as a multi millionaire.

So why did he not end it then?

First of all. Jay passed in December that year, may she forever rest in peace. I don’t even want to think about it too much, I will never be able to fathom the pain of this loss. And he still went through with his first single.

I think it is important to remember why he even agreed to do it in the first place: it was to make a coming out possible for Harry, without outing Larry in the process. By now, there’s such a gigantic heap of lies by and about a lot of important people connected to a Larry coming out accumulated, it would already be incredibly difficult to manage a coming out on it’s own - and now make it a move that won’t destroy both their careers: I don’t think the world / industry was ready for that in 2017 (or is today, if I am being honest). So. We always have to consider what Harry is doing and how gay Harry is, to see if an end is possible for babygate. So obviously, Harry didn’t come out as bi, and I believe it had to do with him signing with Jeff and Jeff doing a 180° turn, pouring honey into his ears to delay a coming out until he’s established as a solo artist, turning up the Hendall heat almost immediately. And we all know, that Harry trust(ed) Jeff, so there was no coming out at that point (they told me that the end is near, always running from the bullets, we never knew we were here before...)

So. In January, Douis break up and Louis gets back with Eleanor, and jets off to Jamaica, where Harry is also spotted. 

Harry kicks off his solo career with his first solo performance in May 2017, while Louis dives back into work, announcing Back To You for July 2017 and deals with his grief on top of that. And guess what gets dusted off for promo season? Yep, suddenly Louis remembers he has a son. It is funny, just a little bit, that every single tweet, insta post and interview mention about Freddie is always in close proximity to a release. I made a fancy google calendar to visualise it, and it is so clear - usually he mentions him about 6 weeks before something gets announced, and then during promo for the Announced Thing. Like for Just Like You which gets released in October 2017, and then the same for Miss You early December 2017. Louis keeps signalling, with the Billie Jean shirt and the Just Like You music video, while Harry gets a big scary demon bee tattooed and sings Kiwi thrice on the three year anniversary of the One Conception Article.

The entirety of 2018, Freddie is basically non-existent - Louis also isn’t putting anything out. He’s in the studio a lot, and besides the recycled and rerecycled Carbon Copy Article that periodically gets published every two months, there’s nothing in that year. 

Then, first Freddie postings happen again beginning of 2019, and guess what - Louis announces the release of Two Of Us. For the promo interviews, Freddie gets dusted off again. Louis releases the TOU music video the day before International Day Against Homophobia.

So why did he not end it and ride the publicity wave for Walls? I think there are a few different reasons why not. For starters, Harry released Fine Line, a very very gender and queer album around the same time. I don’t think Louis wanted to overshadow it with Babygate stuff. Secondly - maybe Louis wanted to see if he could pull off Walls without having to use the promo from a scandal, to prove to himself he could make it as a solo artist, too. I also think the push pull behind the scenes with Syco was coming to a head at that time. Shitty promo, no faith in him as an artist, and their past... Focus on one fight at a time - free himself from the people who were responsible for that horrible closet in the first place, then get rid of the collateral damage. And finally: the End needs proper preparation to be pulled off with minimal damage to Louis’ career and his loved ones. It is a huge pile of lies, and he needs to be disentangled from it with a delicate plan and patience. With all the factors behind the scenes being unsure, it is difficult to create a plan that will need at least a year to be executed if you don’t know who will be on your team next month.

The End - Attempt #1

I believe with the release of Walls, they started to execute the plan to end it after LTWT and to use the scandal to push visibility for LT2. They had announced the tour end of October 2019, and Walls was released 31 January 2020 like a lil birthday present for H - and that’s where they started the groundwork for Babygate to end: an album sporting a handwritten note, dedicating it to his littleladfreddie, missing any and all songs about fatherhood, or the joy and struggles of having a child. 

Why? Because in order to End It, they have to make the fandom and gp think he’s the most devoted Daddy of all times, so that when the news hit that he turns out to not be the father after all, having taken that way overdue DNA paternity test, everyone will believe him that he really believed he was the dad to littleladfreddie and that he’s actually a victim of the scammer Briana.

They make the groundwork for that, too, in May 2020 - two months after having to push LTWT back to August because of Covid. There’s several articles of Briana dating Brody Jenner (of the Kardashian Jenner clan, yes) purely to get her back into the limelight, to make her interesting for the public, for it to make sense why it has to be in the papers what she’s doing. Between May and September there’s at least (!!) 22 articles about Briana dating Brody, to then have a BUA and immediately, and then, three weeks later, in October, we get Boobiegate - painting an image of scammer!Briana, with a sugar daddy literally telling Louis in an open letter that he hopes she didn’t scam him, too. Oof, what a story!

So why did it not end then? Why did it go quiet for the entirety of the first half of 2021?

Covid. Louis had to push back his tour, again - this time to 2022. It pretty much coincides exactly with the first article coming out about Briana and Brody - this part of the plan was already in motion. And remember, Louis is playing the long game. Making it googleable that Briana is a scammer, it’s not a bad thing if it’s already longer ago than just one promo cycle - makes it look more organic. Boobiegate was important groundwork - but not actually a sign it would end within a couple of months of it. So they pulled it off, the whole boobiegate thing unravels until the end of November, and then it goes very, very quiet. They pushed back the tour by a whole 10 months, so until then - sit and wait. We have almost zero activity from Louis between January and June 2021 - except for some Euros and studio content.

The End - Attempt #2

The next attempt gets kicked off with a “Briana topless article” in June, the day after we get Louis and Freddie at an empty arcade, super recognisable and Louis in full on babygate gear and a two days later Briana refollows Louis on instagram. The fandom goes wild - aww daddy content, especially after Louis poses with little Louies for photos!

September it picks up again: Louis starts to heavily signal with clothes (in the afhf, Obituary, Beatles, sunglasses,...) and then is seen in LA, assumendly seeing Freddie. 

October, Louis gets seen clubbing with Annas (key player during babygate seeding in 2015) wearing his H shirt.

November, we get the Bentley push: facetime where he calls over Freddie to talk to Bentley. The mum herself describes how Louis took a week to find the best time slot to call - in the mean time he flew to LA and honestly, he’s so great, he loves his fans so much that he takes out time from his precious son-daddy visit to call a fan up! so thoughtful. He then gets spotted in LA with Freddie, again in full babygate gear (grateful dead “steal your face” shirt and bbg sunglasses!) and Daisy posts a photo of Louis with Freddie.

December: Louis likes babyphotos of friends, and poses with other friend and their baby while wearing a Lacoste crewneck with a huge alligator on it (baby-gator anyone?). Then: christmas and birthday with a 10 £ cake from m&s, and a Freddie within the Tomlinsons who sticks out like a sore thumb. we accidentally get an instagram video of Louis telling Freddie he looks just like him (carbon copy steal your face gasp) with his lips etc. Freddie poses with a surf board Louis gifted him that’s called DNA. Louis wears Beatles again.

January 2022: Louis congratulates his 6 year old son in a tweet. at half nine pm. but freddie goes to bed at 7 doesnt he louis and Daisy posts carbon copy post of Louis and Freddie

February 2022: Louis sees an opportunity and takes it: has the tourbus stop for a little Louie hislittleladfreddie’s age, and in front of hundreds of phones filming him, he tells him he’s got a son just like him (cue aaaaw daddy Louis)

March 2022: Louis gives Freddie a shout out during his LA show, no one gets it, so he does it again. before all of this, he tells Charlie where to film (we’ll get it in the documentary to make it real y’all) he’s spotted on a daddy son day out at Santa Monica pier

Throughout the rest of tour, the intensity and frequency of signalling through clothes get more and more, Louis wears beatles, bbg sunglasses, and: starts wearing chequers and following F1 accounts, joining F1 & DNA spaces on Twitter ensuing in the Chequered Flag Theory, signals with playlists and likes and follows and more while posing with as many 6 year old kids as possible, specifically requesting to be photographed next to them. He starts signalling about September.

June: his new merch is influenced by Dalí, who’s latest publicity came from a postmortem dna test proving the child claimed to be his wasn’t his after all.

He wears Lacoste and Palace (=Queen=Freddie Reign) and chequers almost non stop.

July: Louis messages Bentley’s mum on Twitter (after her proving to share absolutely everything for clicks and engagement) to tell her he loves his son

August: his new Album is announced: Faith In The Future. Reminds a lot of the Future Is Now shirt. Louis (and Harry!) use a lot of 7s. As in 7 years are enough?

September: LT2 Promo starts. There’s an onslaught of melittleladfreddie, see this post.

Conclusion

So. Here we are. I just wanted to explain how this time it’s different, by explaining the reasons and context of bbg related things happening in the past. that the things that are usually being called on to prove “he talked about freddie before” or “there were patterns before” are true, but they were in a different context.

so on the one hand, you’re right - we’ve sort of been here before, in 2019/2020 when they initially wanted to end it, but no one could predict covid would happen, so they had to adjust their plans. and it’s the same for this now: I am absolutely sure it will end. and if it doesn’t, it means there’s a reason they had to change plans again. remember, they have to consider Harry as well. and something shit like covid can always happen, as we’ve learned. doesn’t make freddie any more related to him though. I think this is truly the first opportunity for him to safely end it. 

sorry this got so long, but honestly, it IS complicated and complex and i simplified it A LOT. if you have specific questions, feel free to inbox me!

To the end, my friends - Faith In The Future!

[theroastedwretch]

Between the Lines- Ep. 3

A/N: This one is pretty long, partially to make up for just how short the next one will be. Episode 4 comes at you pretty rapid fire by design, so it's harder to stretch out and still make it make sense.

Usual warnings apply, some no no words, innuendo/bad flirting. This one also features a bit more insecurity around body image than usual and discussions of mental illness, so if that's not your thing please keep that in mind.

Index Episode 2

I was cursing at my phone and muttering about stupid 20-somethings getting involved in shit they shouldn’t— and ignoring the irony— when I finally managed to get a grip on myself and start thinking a bit more clearly.

Should I text the others? The Hacker seemed pretty sure one of them was the culprit, and while I wasn’t totally positive, the timing of the threatening call seemed to support that. It had been early on in my communications with the group that it would have been surprising if my number had leaked beyond them by then. 

But if the Hacker was monitoring their phones, could the culprit be as well? I know he’d said he was putting protections on my devices, but if he hadn’t done theirs it was entirely possible someone could have gotten my number that way.

Not to mention, Thomas claimed the message with my number in the first place had come from Hannah’s phone. We’d been working under the assumption all this time that she’d sent it, but her phone had disappeared with her, and Thomas said the call he’d made had been answered by breathing. Despite what Joyce had claimed in Stranger Things, there was no good way to identify breathing.

What if it had been the kidnapper who sent them my number? The issue of “why me” remained, but it did make more objective sense that he would have access to the phone and use it for something other than calling the police (or their hacker friend). 

Hell, maybe my number has actually been a diversion. A random string of numbers sent to confuse them that happened to be my contact info? The coincidence was huge, but possible. In fact, was it even that big of a coincidence? Maybe for me, the person with the number, it felt that way. But on the outside looking in, most combinations of numbers with the right amount of digits would probably call someone. 

I wasn’t an investigator or police. I occasionally dabbled in writing mystery and did some escape rooms. I listened to true crime podcasts. But being that I was the core, stereotypical demographic for most of those things, that didn’t exactly make me uniquely qualified for any of this. 

My mind raced round and round, trying to piece together who I could trust, how I could help, and what my place in this whole clusterfuck really was. I actually had something of a reputation of being good under pressure (but collapsing as soon as it was gone— as shown by the time I’d giggled for like ten minutes straight after rushing around to put out Annie’s kitchen fire as she screamed and didn’t use the phone in her hand to call for help) but this time, maybe because there really wasn’t anything I could actually do, I found myself totally useless.

I’d worked myself up into such a fit that by the time Cleo texted, I was tense enough to yelp at the buzzing phone in my hand.

Thomas? I mouthed silently. The kid takes off after finding out about the body, gets weirdly aggressive at Dan to set up some sketchy deal he refused to mention by name, and then breaks into his girlfriend’s apartment? 

Cleo was clearly uncomfortable with it too, sounding more stilted and awkward than I’d ever heard her, even when confronting her about her newfound love of trespassing. Was he looking at her phone? Had he said something to her? 

It wasn’t beyond the realm of possibility to think he had a key— Annie’s boyfriend had one to our place, much to my chagrin— and Cleo was just as guilty of going in as he was. But something about her reaction put me on edge, so I hoped she’d get somewhere she felt freer to talk soon.

Jessy’s rage provided a good distraction, though I really wasn’t surprised to see the way the paper had “reported” the body. It fit for a small town, whose identity partially stemmed from the idea of being safe and close. How many times in the past had I rolled my eyes at my grandma declaring that “this stuff didn’t happen in her town” when she watched the news for the city I’d grown up in? These were places where you never locked your doors, knew the mailman by name. 

It became crucial to maintain that status quo at all costs, even if it meant relegating a murder to the back pages of a paper. Even if that meant the victim went unremembered.

Of course she was angry. Burying your head in the sand only felt good when it wasn’t your hurt being covered up.

Seeing her so upset brought back that feeling of helplessness I’d had with Cleo earlier. This time, there were things I could say, actions I could take. But nothing that would fix the situation or make her feel better at all. I could only let her vent. Even that felt so useless, it was only the tip of the iceberg.

Thomas’s return gave her something else to focus on, at least, even as I wondered whether it was planned or if his encounter with Cleo had forced his hand. I struggled to still see him as a devoted, grieving boyfriend after all this time.

The news that the body wasn’t Hannah’s perked everyone else up, but made me even more unsettled. As an outsider without any attachment to Hannah, a body appearing right after a kidnapping made things so much more complicated, and more dangerous. 

One was unfortunate, two was a pattern.

There was no way I could say that to them, though, or even the Hacker, so I was left to stew on that on my own through the rest of Thomas’s return conversation. 

Needing to process everything that had happened, I decided to go get some fresh air. I rarely took walks, I didn’t seem to get the cabin fever that others felt, and the pandemic had only made me even more comfortable hunkering down in one place. But suddenly I felt caged, like if I didn’t keep moving, I might collapse.

Something felt off to me, beyond the obvious. Why would the cops confirm anything to Thomas, who wasn’t Hannah’s husband and presumably had only a passing connection to the deceased woman? I knew that privacy in these cases wasn’t as strict as say, hospitals, and who knew what the laws in Germany looked like about that, but it still didn’t sit right with me. Maybe it was a small town thing? 

Googling “how much can the police release to non-family in a missing person’s case” got me nowhere even before I added in the jurisdictional aspect, and I started to get frustrated at how little I knew about any of this.

I’d had dealings with cops before, a rebellious youth plus some impulse control issues had seen to that. I’d dated some questionable men, no doubt about that, made some bad choices. I knew the basics of the law in some areas, but nothing significant. 

All of the recent happenings had me getting really frustrated with my ineptitude and getting pulled into this. I couldn’t say why I’d stuck around so far, really. It just seemed like everyone expected me to, and I didn’t want to disappoint them.

But hell, how was I not going to disappoint them? 

My life had begun revolving around this case, even when it probably shouldn’t. Outside of the movie day and going out with Annie, one of which involved Jessy and the other I still felt guilty over, I’d taken very little time away from this, and it was starting to wear me down.

Still, how did I tell these grieving friends that I needed a break? How would I leave them up to their own devices, considering even with my help they were breaking in to crime scenes, buying illegal items, and having breakdowns over found bodies? They were suffering worse than I was, and even knowing that I would crash, I felt responsible for that.

Hannah had been missing for weeks, and all I’d done was find a cat picture, pry into her medical information, and discovered some emo poetry. Poirot, I was not. I couldn’t help but think that the others blamed me for that fact.

As if hearing my doubts, the Hacker appeared. I hugged my sweater closer to myself despite the day actually being fairly warm, and considered putting him off. But I wasn’t going to make any progress without him, and the sooner we solved this mystery, the sooner I could nurse my ego and return to my life. 

I wasn’t at all surprised to hear he was reading in on my chat with Cleo, though I was a bit that he was watching my video chats. The insecure, dysmorphic part of me tried to remember how many chins I had while on screen, even knowing that he probably hadn’t looked at me once during the call. I knew it was silly, but I’d have to start considering my appearance a little more before turning on my camera. 

I’d meant to come off more teasing when I’d questioned whether my opinion mattered to him, but I knew I sounded desperate for his approval. Still, I was pretty surprised when he answered in the affirmative, seemingly genuine. My face burned when I admitted to the same, but it kind of felt like I owed it to him at that moment.

Of course, he quickly moved the conversation back to the matter at hand, and I tried not to let that sting. Once he admitted to his “flaw”, though, I couldn’t help but question myself even further. Did it extend to not realizing how he came off over chat? Had he not even noticed the times I was flirting?

It seemed like everything had me off kilter today, and I was desperate to hide under my blankets and let myself mope, at least a little. It was so like me, to get feelings for a guy on the other side of the world that I didn’t even know the name of who had no idea I’d spent weeks flirting with him. I felt like a teenager again, pining over a boy who told me that I’d have an easier time finding a boyfriend if I lost weight. 

Really, I thought I’d grown past this.

Massaging my temples as I walked back into my apartment, I let myself flop into bed despite how early it was. Maybe if I crawled into my safe space while texting, things wouldn’t bother me as much. Or I’d at least be less of an asshole and stop focusing on my own bullshit at a time like this.

I felt like I had to push back on his assertion that Hannah couldn’t have hurt herself. I clearly had more experience with depression than he had, and considering how he’d reacted to the SSRIs already, I worried it could break him. Besides, not all methods of hurting yourself came in the form that most people expected. Pretty much my entire early twenties was a testament to all of the ways you could hurt yourself without causing a single bit of physical harm.

I decided not to push that part.

We discussed the cloud entry (I resisted the urge to joke about my own shitty poetry, since I wasn’t making this about myself anymore)  and I was surprised to discover that he’d never met Hannah. He was maybe more invested in finding her than some of the group. 

I wasn’t making this about myself, so I didn’t worry that maybe they were romantic penpals or something. She had Thomas. 

I had to admit I felt pretty good about getting to tease him about the legends, and was glad to see it made him laugh. Not because I wanted his approval, but just because he was usually so serious. Of course. 

Finally, after exhausting all of the leads and updates either of us had— there was no movement on Poke’s number yet— he logged off suddenly and I sighed, taking the opportunity to wiggle deeper into my nest and think about nothing for a while. ___

I hadn’t intended to fall asleep, but I was shocked when I opened my eyes next to find that twelve hours had passed, and I suddenly found myself the topic of the group chat. Maybe I’d grilled Thomas too hard yesterday.

Dan: We don’t know anything about her, why should we trust her?

Seriously Dan? After facilitating some weird deal between Thomas and Poke, you want to start throwing stones? Maybe guilt and deflection, but annoying nonetheless.

I let myself get truly frustrated with them for the first time, reminding them of their responsibility for the fact that they knew nothing about me. Not like I’d been nothing but a vehicle to find Hannah or something to all of them but Jessy, right?

MC: I mean MC: You could ask

Thomas: What?

MC: I don’t have a whole lot of reasons to lie to you MC: Not beyond like “oh yeah I definitely do floss every day”, at least MC: So don’t ask that one MC: I will lie about that

Dan: We can’t even know if you’re telling the truth!

MC: Right MC: But if we’re talking stranger danger, it’s kind of 5 against 1 already.

Dan: Fine, so tell us about yourself

MC: Well that’s super unhelpful MC: I at least ask you guys questions

Dan: You mean interrogate? 

MC: Sure MC: Ask away

Jessy: What color is your hair?

MC: Ha!

I hit send while snorting before realizing that my amusement wouldn’t make sense to anyone in the group. 

MC: Sorry, inside joke… not a very good one. MC: Brown normally MC: But I get bored with that a lot.  MC: So like, less brown right now? I guess? 

Jessy: Oooh! What colors has it been?

I smiled a little, of course Jessy would show something of an actual interest while simultaneously asking questions that helped nothing.

MC: Well, I’ve done red streaks. Not like yours, Jessy, they called it “fire-engine red”. Red fades so fast, so I only did that once. MC: High school was when I did most of it. It was pink for a while. MC: Kept it bleached for a while, but I’m not a good blonde. MC: Blue in college. 

Thomas: Stop Thomas: Why are you doing this?

MC: Because she asked? And because if you guys keep not trusting me, we won’t get anywhere?

Thomas: No. I mean, why are you here?

MC: Because you added me to the group.

Thomas: You know what I’m asking

I groaned. I did, but where do you even start? How do I even explain, when I don’t really know myself? I knew I was on thin ice, though. Jessy liked me, and Cleo was open to me. But Thomas was, at best, neutral, Richy had barely spoken to me, Lilly was totally absent, and Dan… well, Dan was Dan.

What do you tell a group of strangers when they ask why you’re putting all of your energy into snooping around their personal lives? 

The hope that Thomas seemed to be fueled by, that I’d have some unknown connection and solution to everything seemed to have vanished. And that had really been my only connection to these people. 

“Sorry, I might want to bone the hacker you all hate, so I do what he tells me,” was pathetic on so many levels, and would do nothing to help me.

MC: Look MC: I’m an asshole, okay? My jokes are bad, I suck at people, and I’m just generally something of an acquired taste at best MC: But like, how do you walk away from people who want you to help find a missing person?  MC: I don’t know her. It’s crazy I care this much. But Thomas, you sent me all those pictures MC: And you’ve all talked about her so much MC: And I read the articles about it online and that made it so real too MC: I don’t know if I’ll be useful. Frankly, I’m usually not even at the best of times MC: But on the tiniest chance I can be, and I don’t try? I don’t think I’m prepared to be that much of a shit person. 

The silence after I wrote all of that stretched on long enough to make me sweat. Being genuine wasn’t something I practiced much, and I was mostly just glad I hadn’t had to say all of that out loud because I would have stumbled over it and messed it up somehow. However un-charismatic I was online, it was nothing compared to how I was in person.

After what felt like several minutes of nothing, I began frantically thinking of ways to take it all back. Despite the miles and miles between us, something about my words made me feel like I was standing in front of them all naked, so the lack of reply had me fighting not to claw my eyes out.

Finally, around the time I’d hunted down the dusty bottle of vodka I’d gotten as a gift for last Christmas and poured myself a glass with little enough juice that it did more for color than taste, there was movement in the chat.

Dan is typing…

Dan: Fine Dan: Stay

Dan is offline.

Cleo: Right, well… Welcome to the team.

I was a bit surprised to see the hesitation from Cleo, since she’d already called me at Hannah’s and admitted to several crimes, one of which I was complicit in. Maybe she’d only included me before since I was online and couldn’t stop her? Who knows.

Thomas is offline.

Cleo is offline. 

Richy is offline.

Only Jessy and I remained, which I guess I could have predicted at that point. Considering her line of questioning, and our active personal chat, it made sense that she’d be the one least likely to need to mull over my outburst. Which is why, when I saw a notification pop up seconds later, I didn’t hesitate to press it without looking at the name.

As it turned out, It wasn’t from Jessy. Instead, the notification led me back to my chat with the Hacker. 

???: You did surprisingly well.

Despite the fact that I’d normally bask a little bit in the compliment (however backhanded the qualifier made it feel), I only felt irritated. My frustration, insecurity and helplessness bubbled over, and even knowing how little he’d get those emotions from my words, he was the only one here to direct it at.

MC: Thanks? I think?  MC: Or are you just surprised they didn’t boot me out of the chat? MC: Look, I want to help, but you saw how that just went.  MC: I don’t do this, okay? I don’t know how to get people to like me, or trust me, or want to talk to me. Everyone who puts up with me in real life are either people who met me when we were young enough that being edgy and bitchy seemed cool, liked my mom enough to feel like they have to make sure I’m alive, or are getting paid in one way or the other.

???: I believe it went well, MC. You were quite convincing.

MC: Pf. Hardly. For Hannah, you need to find someone else. I can still do the cloud stuff if you want, but there’s got to be someone better to talk to the group.

The moment I hit send, a notification from the person I’d been expecting earlier appeared at the top of my screen.

Jessy: MC! I’m so sorry they acted so mean Jessy: They’re not usually like that, they’re scared. But that’s no excuse.  Jessy: You almost made me cry!

MC: I’m sorry! 

Jessy: No no, it was so nice! 🥰

MC: Mmh, Jessy, I made everyone run away.

Jessy: Trust me, they just didn’t know what to say. They hate being wrong!

While I wracked my brain trying to formulate a response, another notification popped up that I didn’t even bother to click this time.

???: ;)

Smug bastard. ___

After that, things were a little less tense in the group chat. The majority still weren’t particularly friendly,  but they’d at least seem to accept my presence. Dan was still kind of an asshole, but in a kind of way that I was used to, so I didn’t let it bother me. He seemed like the sort that people just kind of ignored most of the time, and I knew what that was like.

The chat wasn’t what I’d consider active, but they checked in on each other occasionally, tried to cheer each other up and touched base with platitudes and support. 

Jessy: MC Jessy: … Jessy: You there? Jessy: MCCCCC

Huh. It was strange for me to be addressed directly at the start of a conversation, but the fact that it was Jessy made it make a little more sense. I suspected she was trying to include me more and humanize me to the rest, a mission she’d kind of taken up recently.

MC: Hi! Sorry, I got a call.

Jessy: Aren’t you popular?

MC: No, no, never. Work. 😩

Jessy: Oh! You know, I don’t think we’ve ever talked about your job.

MC: Well, yeah, it’s not really been important. 

Other than my chats with Jessy, and the time Thomas had grilled me about my intentions, discussing me had been pretty low priority. I’d chime in here and there when the group chat dipped into the easy flow that happened in messages between old friends. And I never missed a chance to make a sassy comment or comment, which they’d quickly learned to ignore or roll their eyes at.

But it was true that in their eyes, I was still just a stranger. Even as I slowly started forming pictures of their lives and getting pulled deeper into Hannah’s world, the group as a whole still didn’t even know my last name. I hadn’t offered it, but they didn’t ask either.

After my hidden meltdown when the body was discovered not to be Hannah’s, I’d probably put up some barriers trying not to totally lose myself in their lives. It was wearing on my mental health in a pretty serious way, so while Jessy and I were continuing to bond, and Cleo had started talking to me more, I felt a bit detached overall.

Jessy: Still! Jessy: You’re always on your phone Jessy: Every time I’m on

I snorted at that, mainly because it wasn’t totally true. I wasn’t a morning person, and she was bright and sunny enough to be way too much until I’d gotten at least two cups of coffee in me. But after that, I did give my phone nearly my full attention.

MC: That’s what my boss just said on our call, haha. 🙃 MC: I work remotely, so I’ve got some flexibility MC: But I’ve been pushing that lately MC: And unlike someone, I’m not cute enough to get away with it

Richy: 😳

For all Jessy tried to hide when she texted non-stop at work, it was actually the worst kept secret. Especially since Richy was on nearly as much during the day. They didn’t acknowledge each other over chat all that much, but there was no way they didn’t notice they were both on.

But since it was just as obvious that Richy wanted to date Jessy…

Jessy: 😤 Jessy: But what do you do?

Of course neither would acknowledge it. They both knew, even if they wanted to pretend they didn’t. I was surprised the group didn’t heckle them for it more. Yet another way they differed from mine, I guess. I’d never live it down with them.

MC: Nothing very exciting. I’m called a “Customer Communication Quality Assurance Analyst”

Jessy: Right…

Yep, that was the usual reaction alright.

MC: Told you 🤣 MC: You know how when you call customer service, that message plays? MC: About your call being recorded? MC: Some companies review those in-house, but others contract out to a firm MC: So I work for one of those

Dan: You’re joking

He didn’t usually get involved when I was talking. He’d respond to the others, of course, but for the most part he preferred to ignore me completely. This would be interesting.

MC: No… why would I be?

Dan: You spend all day spying on people’s calls Dan: Just to open your phone Dan: And interrogate us

I actually was a little more offended than I should have been, which probably gave his point more credence. Still, it felt like there was a note of teasing to it that maybe could work in my favor if I played it right.

MC: Okay MC: Well when you put it that way MC: My life just sounds sad MC: And kind of creepy 😒

Dan: I mean, isn’t it?

MC: Hey 😤 MC: But actually MC: I wanted to be a teacher when I was younger

Jessy: Really?? That’s so cool

I hadn’t meant to prolong this conversation, but since Jessy had definitely become the one that both liked me best and I’d been most open with, maybe it would be useful to let them in a little.

And it was definitely for Hannah and not because I wanted the acceptance of these people. Of course.

MC: Mmh, no, not really.  MC: Could have saved myself a lot of time and money if I’d remembered I don’t like dealing with people that much

Jessy: What do you mean? Jessy: You’re so friendly!

Friendly? Jessy, I’m a raging bitch, covering up for the self-esteem of a goldfish with sarcasm and fake arrogance, the mouth of a sailor, and the gutter-mind of a 16 year old boy. Was that friendly?

MC: Sure, to people I like MC: But I made the mistake of being a TA in undergrad MC: Turns out, people can be really dumb and I have no patience 🤓

Cleo: MC!

Yeah. That would be a bit far for Cleo. She was nice enough, of course, but probably the one that struggled the most with my more insulting quips. Well, Thomas and Lilly hadn’t been much involved with me either, so maybe they’d have been yelling at me even more. Who knows?

MC: Yes, yes. I’ll be nice MC: I just get frustrated easily, I guess.  MC: Having to explain something over and over

Dan: Mmh, I’m trying to picture you as a teacher. It’s kind of funny.

I felt a surge of pride in realizing I’d kept Dan at least marginally engaged. Though actually, in other circumstances he might have actually been the one I was the most similar to. He seemed to also lack a filter and the capability to recognize when running his mouth was okay.

MC: Funny isn’t the word I’d have used

Jessy: Poor you 😫

MC: If I’m being honest, probably poor them 

Jessy: Oh no

MC: 😉 MC: It was better for everyone that I got out of that line of work MC: But it was too late to change my degree unless I wanted to spend way too much time backtracking MC: So I just found a job that would take a degree, no matter what it was.  MC: So now, here I am MC: Both professional and amatuer spy MC: Apparently 

Jessy: That suits you somehow

MC: I don’t know what to say to that MC: Should I be insulted or…?

Again, realizing my role in this group was still barely above the Hacker’s as far as my motives made my heart sink. They were right. My job here was to investigate, spy and uncover. But since I hadn’t really made them aware of just how creepy I was being, I was surprised to see that they considered me a “spy”, or even investigator. 

Jessy: No no! I just meant that you see things others miss Jessy: So it works for you

MC: Oh okay

Dan: Yeah, you’re a regular Sherlock Holmes

MC: Nah, he at least had cocaine to keep him awake. MC: I’m probably more like Harriet the Spy, tbh. 😂

The conversation didn’t continue after that, but I almost felt like I’d earned Dan’s respect even just the tiniest bit with that one. ___

I was somewhat caught off-guard when Richy added me after discussing the Man Without a Face in the legends chat that Jessy had made for us. I agreed with him that Jessy seemed more eager to latch onto the legend than most people would, but it made sense that she’d want to seize any chance she saw to step back from the idea that the killer could be human. 

For my part, the more I thought on the idea that someone would be masquerading as this mythical avenger, the more I saw it as a viable concept. Killers, especially ones that consider themselves righteous, love to glom onto characters that get across the message they want to embody.

My true crime podcasts taught me that much at least.

I teased him about Jessy more to get him off balance than to confirm he liked her— that much was already obvious. I wasn’t crazy about the power dynamics at play there, with him being her boss, but that seemed kind of like a thing that just happened in small towns. There were only so many people to start with. 

I considered lightly flirting with him to see if that was a better tactic, but frankly I couldn’t bring myself to. Jessy was a friend, and she seemed to like him too. I didn’t think he’d ever get up the nerve to ask her, but there was only so much playing in their lives I could justify before it felt icky.

Besides that, there was the question of my shadow.

Ruminating on that led me back to decrypting, a habit I’d taken up while trying to avoid thinking too much on him, his motives, and how much he even noticed about me. Ironically, decryption was the thing that should remind me the most of him, but I could generally focus on Hannah while doing the most annoying parts, since it was to benefit her. 

Sometimes I wondered how she would feel once she was safe. I couldn’t imagine she’d be interested in much to do with me— I was still pretty convinced she hadn’t sent my number— as I’d be mostly a reminder about this horrible time in her life. But would she resent me for the intrusions I’d made into her private life? 

As if sensing my guilt, the next file I opened was clearly another diary entry, once again filled with emotional conflict. It as much more straightforward than the last, written with a bit more clarity and thought rather than vomiting words up as they appeared in her head. 

I bit the inside of my cheek as I read over it a second time. I knew I had to send this to the Hacker, but Hannah’s distress had really been the only thing to faze him since that first, frantic call to her friends. I worried that this one, likely even direct enough for him to grasp the emotion behind, would cause him even more grief.

But he’d also be furious if he found out I kept something from him, even—or maybe especially— if it was out of a desire to protect him. Sighing guiltily, I sent it to him to discuss.

The conversation went a bit unexpectedly, though. Maybe he’d come to terms with our previous findings enough to prepare himself for this one, or maybe he was glad to have something a bit less hard to understand. He probably didn’t read much poetry with his flaw.

I wasn’t prepared for the fucking praise, though. Or really, my reaction to it was the problem. Instead of feeling patronized, it sent a bit of a jolt through me. So damn stupid, getting worked up over some guy telling you that you did a good job. I knew I had a bit of a submissive side but Jesus, really?

Wait. Could he have found that particular… interest… of mine when reading through my chats? Jessy and I got a bit detailed at times when discussing our preferences, after she got used to me it seemed like she enjoyed having someone to discuss things with.

What else had he seen on my phone and devices? He admitted to having full access but said he only looked at case-related things. Still, there was a lot of bullshit to wade through in order to find those case-related items. After he’d said not to worry about offending him, I’d mostly tried to forget he was there whenever I messaged people or screwed around on the internet.

But all it would take was one poorly timed screen-mirror and…

I scrambled to try to remember my recent activities and felt my face burn when I considered all of the possibilities. I wasn’t one to watch risqué videos, being more into reading and writing to alleviate my frustrations. 

Cool. Great. Awesome. He probably knew everything about my kinks and I didn’t know his name.

As freaked out as I was, the fact that I still didn’t know his name was starting to bother me. Especially in light of this recent realization. I could do it, right? Just ask his name? I mean, we’d been talking a while, he said he trusted me. I got the feeling I’d never see his face or talk to him without the distortion, but his name was innocent enough. 

Before I could chicken out, I typed it out, as a request rather than a question, and hit send.

Of course he’d ask why I cared. Of course it seemed ridiculous to him, I’d already suspected he had no idea what signals I’d tried to throw out. 

Would it hurt to try to be more obvious? I wondered. I was cringing at my screen now, trying to both type and shut my eyes to what I was saying as I admitted to liking him. I tried to make a joke of it, using the damn smilies Jessy had gotten me addicted to, but even someone who couldn’t read had to be able to just smell the pheromones and insecurity dripping off of every word.

Jake.

The emotional high of learning that, of being able to greet him properly for the first time, dampened a bit from the clear regret he immediately expressed. Still, he hadn’t left yet, so I I tried to salvage things a little.

Are you dating someone?

How could I not have melted at that? It was the most overt he’d ever been by far. So even when he fled again, I couldn’t keep the stupid grin off of my face. ___

I was pretty ashamed to only realize that Cleo had never gotten back to me about the situation with Thomas until she reached out again, saying that she needed to clear her head before we talked. Still, I should have checked in about it long before now, so the guilt of making it about me, again, pushed away the good feelings from earlier.

Learning that Thomas and Hannah had been arguing, that he no longer had a key to her apartment despite clearly having a way to access it, just solidified my need to check further into him.

Goddamn it folks, stop being shady and stop not telling me things. How is it this fucking hard?

I pinched my nose, attempting to slow my breathing. But learning that he took something from the apartment just shot my blood pressure back up through the roof.

I’d drank as much during this investigation— even ignoring my night out with Annie at the start— as I normally did in a year but I still couldn’t escape the urge for a shot. It was barely mid-afternoon so I resisted the urge, but barely. ___

After getting the book number for Jessy, Jake (that still felt weird) let me know he’d found Poke’s number. I got nervous when he revealed I’d have to call rather than text— I was a millennial, that’s my actual nightmare— and a little frustrated when he seemed to minimize the risk to me again. At this point, he should know I’d stick around even when I’m scared. But it would be really nice to whine and be comforted for five minutes before handing my number over to a suspected criminal. 

Still, I suspected that being comforting wasn’t particularly his style, and that even if he wanted to, he’d have very little reference for how to do it. 

And there was no denying that of the two of us, I was the better choice for handling the people part. I mean, we were still screwed, but I kind of suspected I was the only person he’d managed to charm recently and I still wasn’t totally possible how he’s done that.

So I groaned, put on my big girl panties, and called. ___

A locksmith. All of this cloak and dagger bullshit over a locksmith. A clearly unethical one, but why the hell would they not just pretend like Thomas had lost his own key or something instead of acting like the sketchiest fucking losers alive?

I wasn’t proud of my past associations, but I’d seen drug deals discussed with more grace than these folks were handling an exchange with a perfectly legal business and an obvious cover story.

Not to mention, why the hell did Thomas not know where her spare key was if Cleo did? I wasn’t sure how long they’d been dating, but it was probably long enough for him to know where her spare key was.

For some reason, I started to suspect less that the culprit was either Dan or Thomas, mainly because they apparently made the stupidest damn criminals I’d ever met.

Hannah, your friends are going to be the death of me, I swear. ___

As the group chat exploded into drama over Phil, I groaned out loud. A fight was a long time coming, especially between Cleo and Jessy, but did it have to be now?

I was working when it started, trying to clear my inbox that I was sorely behind on dealing with. Several of the calls I’d reviewed today had serious violations and one of the clients took the negative feedback really poorly. I’d had enough yelling for this week, thank you.

Annie popped open a can of coke behind me and leaned over to look beyond my shoulder at my phone. I tried to casually block her from seeing, but she was tall enough to catch sight of it anyway.

“Hey is that Jessy? How is she?”

“Fine,” I muttered, locking my phone screen and trying to ignore the rapid-fire buzzing. 

“What crawled up your ass?” She snarked, eying up my tense posture and tight expression. 

“Nothing, Annie, I’m just trying to work and no one will leave me alone!” I snapped, pushing my keyboard away from me in frustration.

She threw her hands up in surrender. “Jeez, sorry, I was just trying to help.” She turned away from me, toward her room, and took a loud slurp of her coke as she walked. “Let me know when you’re less of a bitch.”

“Right,” I mumbled to myself, getting myself more settled into my chair. “Focus.”

The incessant vibration wouldn’t let me, though, and I realized that I wasn’t going to get anything done until it stopped. Sighing louder than necessary, I once again got involved in something that had no good reason to be my business.

I felt bad for being relieved when Jessy stormed off and things cooled down relatively quickly after that. I reminded myself to reach out to her later, even though I knew she wasn’t the sort who liked to be left alone while she was emotional. 

The information about Phil was interesting, though. It wasn’t particularly a side of Hannah I’d heard anything about. But then, I’d only heard about her from people who loved her, and it already seemed like no one knew about her depression.

And boy didn’t I know the kind of questionable decisions depression could lead to. Not to mention, having learned that Thomas returned his key during a fight made me wonder exactly what their relationship was at the time of her disappearance. If they were broken up, maybe she’d been acting out her heartbreak in a way that would raise eyebrows in a small town. 

I suppose she could have been taken by a partner after all. Just not the one we knew about.

At the same time, Phil’s comments bordered on the Nice Guy style bullshit I and my friends had heard so often after turning a guy down. Men love to call women sluts for not sleeping with them.

No, I was supposed to be focusing on work. Work. It was bad enough to put off responsibilities for a kidnapping case, it was another to instead speculate on a woman’s sex life when I’d never met her.

Yet I was glad Richy was going to talk to Phil.

I managed to get through about half a day’s work before my phone started again. Spy mode was getting old fast, I have no idea why Jake liked this shit. I just don’t care about other people’s crap this much. I don’t even want to deal with my own social life!

Though it did catch my eye to see that Jessy and Dan were going on a date. Hadn’t seen that one coming, she’d never shown much of a soft spot for him and Dan didn’t strike me as particularly romantic.

But maybe I was just bitter considering “are you single” was the hottest my current relationship had gotten so far.

So much for doing work, I griped and started logging out for the day. Once I started brooding over things with Jake, I was never going to get back on track. I’d learned that the hard way.

Pretending it wasn’t at all to talk to him, I made my way out to the garden and curled up next to a bush to start decrypting in the sun. ___

The sun had set by the time I managed to get anything, but for the first time the picture made me pause. 

A Raven.

To be honest, a large part of me figured it was stupid kids. If this legend was as well known in the city as Jessy and Richy had implied, then it made sense for jagoff teenagers to run around marking things up with it. It was at least more creative than just doing penises like most of the graffiti I saw.

But it wouldn’t do to just dismiss it outright either. 

In fact, the more I thought about it, the more intriguing it was. Because it didn’t matter if it was just graffiti. The how or why of it being there might be totally irrelevant.

But what made it important was that Hannah thought it was important.

I suppose she could have just thought it was cool, or maybe she was interested in the legend or wanted to show Jessy, who clearly had a strong interest in the macabre. But not long after she’d taken it, she’d supposedly been dragged into the woods by the man this symbol was meant to represent.

Had she been pursuing him rather than the other way round? 

Trying to get around explaining to Richy and Jessy where I’d gotten the picture was a bit awkward. They seemed to know I was investigating on some level, and they knew I was in touch with Jake. But they hadn’t really put those things together or realized how deep I was digging, and I was pretty grateful for that. They would have to be offended on her behalf. I was offended on her behalf sometimes. 

But like, the police would be doing it too, right? Going through her personal life and putting it under a microscope, analyzing every word she said and who she said it to. At least I wasn’t her neighbor, her pastor, or anyone she had to deal with regularly. That had to be a comfort, I hoped. 

But I appreciated Jessy keeping Richy from asking more, either way. Her trust touched me, and made things much simpler for now. And processing this with someone other than Jake was strangely nice, despite how much I enjoyed talking to him.

Of course, then Richy had to get in a parting shot about where I got the picture. And the worst part is, he wasn’t even wrong. |___

The guilt of all— the hiding, the lying, the half-ignored responsibilities— it started weighing on me after that. Too much was at stake to back down now, but I could feel the suspicion pointed at me, and it was deserved. 

I wasn’t above half-truths or even the occasional lie, really. Sometimes it was just easier and better for everyone if the truth went unsaid. But this was snowballing out of control and I didn’t know how to stop it.

So I confessed the only thing I could think of that might not ruin everything.

MC: Jake?

Jake is online.

Jake: Hello, MC. Jake: Is everything alright? 

MC: I lied before. MC: And cheated.

I paused, trying to think of how to say it. Which I knew I should have considered before I even started the conversation, but planning wasn’t my strong suit when my emotions got the better of me.

Jake is typing…

Jake: To what are you referring?

Right. I’d gotten so used to him reading things and knowing what I meant before I said it that I just kind of assumed he knew what was going on in my head.

MC: The bet. MC: I’m sending your credits back.

After hitting enter, I quickly opened the app he’d sent me my winnings through and sent them all back. I hadn’t done anything with them, it felt kind of gross.

Jake: I appreciate your honesty, but I’m not sure I understand. You found the information more quickly than I could.

MC: Right, well. That’s because I already knew what SSRIs were for. I’ve been on them for years. MC: I’ve been depressed since I was a teenager. I don’t even know why I pretended. MC: I was just surprised you didn’t know already and then you were SO shocked and uncomfortable about Hannah and I got worried you’d think differently of me too so I just went with it.

He typed and erased several times, and my mind became a whirlwind of regret. Why was I doing this? He didn’t ask to hear all about my problems. It wasn’t like I’d conned him out of a huge prize. But I was so tired of lying, and lying to him felt especially wrong after he’d been letting me in. 

Jake: MC, I never thought less of Hannah for her depression. I was upset to find out that she was suffering.

MC: It seemed like you were, I don’t know, struggling with your perception of her. 

Jake: Not in a negative way, not toward her. And I am sorry that it made you feel like you had to hide or be ashamed in any way.

MC: I’m usually not like this with it, you know? I mean in high school I was, but that went super poorly so I made myself talk about it. 

Jake: You do not have to talk about it if you’re not comfortable.

MC: No, I want you to know. It’s a part of my life. And really so much about me makes way more sense when you realize my brain doesn’t really do what it’s supposed to.  MC: Sorry, dark humor is my main coping mechanism.

Jake: I had noticed.

MC: Yeah, it’s not particularly subtle.  MC: And just so you know, I’m stable. The meds help, and I do therapy as needed. There are still bad days and stuff but that’s always going to be true. MC: That’s part of why I kept pushing about you realizing it was possible that Hannah had hurt herself, too. MC: Like you said, that’s not the case here since you saw it. But it does happen. And I know my friends and family were even more upset when something would happen because it caught them off guard.

Jake: Is that something

Jake is typing… 

MC: Let’s save that conversation for another day, maybe?

Jake: Of course.

MC: But the good news is that maybe it means I can provide some different perspectives on things, right? Like that first cloud entry. MC: Really, I just have to hope that if I get kidnapped no one gives enough of a shit to sort through my stuff like this because there’s nothing good to be found in my sad folder.

Jake: “Sad folder”?

MC: Don’t even try, it’s super old and on a flash drive somewhere that hopefully fell out of whatever box I put it in when I moved here and got crushed by several cars.

Jake: How oddly specific.

MC: Fantasies are what keep a girl going, right? MC: Jake?  MC: Thank you for listening.

Jake: :)

Jake: Thank you for your trust. 

Jake is offline.

Later, after the third or so time that I re-read our conversation, I tried to work out exactly what it was that made trust so important to him. In our particular situation, we did need to trust each other to a point, but somehow it seemed bigger than that. It was like my trust was some precious trinket to him that he was grateful for each reminder of.

Admittedly, at times that trust felt a little bit more like blind faith, even toeing the line on being foolish. But my instincts told me that he was involved for the right reasons, even if sometimes his methods were at times a bit cold. ___

Somehow, maybe the drink I’d mixed while getting ready for my date with Jessy, it hadn’t occurred to me to think that Jake might have been reading along. I’d gotten used to it by that point, hell, sometimes it even felt reassuring. But it wasn’t until it had started winding down and he messaged me that I realized.

Jake: Hello, MC.

MC: Hello, Jake

He always greeted me so formally, it made me think of a handshake and firm eye contact. I chuckled, picturing us meeting for the first time with a handshake.

Shaking my head at myself, I looked down at my phone.

Jake is typing…

Here, he erased, paused, and started again.

Jake is typing…

After a few minutes of waiting, I started to get concerned.

MC: Is everything okay?

Jake: Did you enjoy your evening?

MC: So you were reading along again 😆

Jake: Yes, it seemed interesting that she chose to cancel her date to speak to you. I wanted to see if there was any information that could be useful to us.

MC: Well, did you see anything interesting?

Jake: Why do you believe that she made the decision to stay home and speak to you?

I wondered for a second if it bothered him. We’d never explicitly discussed my sexuality, and Jessy and my rapport sometimes played hopscotch with the line between bubbly and flirty in that way that every bisexual woman has been confused by at some point in their lives. 

MC: Because I’m great 😎 MC: But also Dan kind of sucks

Jake: Regardless, I imagine she would have had a more enjoyable time going out rather than making small talk over orange juice.

MC: Depends on the company I guess 🤷🏻‍♀️

Jake is typing…

Jake is typing…

MC: Did I make it weird again?

Jake: No. Jake: Of course not. Jake: A virtual date was simply a concept I was previously unaware of.

Jake never really spoke informally, but at least lately he’d seemed a little less… stiff. I groaned, suspecting that, despite his denial, I’d made it weird. 

MC: Well MC: I think the voice distortion and hidden face might make it a bit more difficult for you MC: My mom did tell me not to talk to strange men online 😂

Jake is offline.

And there it is.  Not surprising, that could easily have been viewed as an insult. Especially after we’d been seemingly getting closer lately. But my life had totally been taken over by strange men on the internet lately, so I considered it somewhat fair to at least acknowledge that it was weird.

MC: Look, sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it. My mom WOULD be rather annoyed if she saw me now. But it’s not like this is even the worst thing I’ve done. MC: Really I think I’m mostly surprised that you haven’t had a virtual date before. MC: It seems like that’d be right up your alley. Computers and girls at the same time.

His status didn’t change after my messages, so after a few minutes I let myself bonelessly sprawl across the couch and sigh. I read through a few bullshit articles online, shared some memes on Facebook, and waited to see if he’d log back on. That had happened a few times, after he’d done whatever he needed to in order to get over the embarrassment, annoyance, or brain breaking I’d subjected him to. He did need me, to a degree, and as inconvenient as my personality was for him, it was more to his benefit to keep me sweet.

Which probably made me a bad person for taking advantage of that for my own amusement just a little. But he could well be using me to find his friend so at least we both got something out of it.

It took longer than usual for him to come back this time, maybe I’d really pissed him off. But around the time I’d started scrolling through some cat pictures on Reddit, he came back.

Jake is online.

Jake: My apologies, something needed my immediate attention.  Jake: I don’t know how my small talk abilities didn’t make it abundantly clear, but I haven’t had the time or opportunity for many dates in the recent past, virtual or not.

My eyes widened a tiny bit. Personal information AND multiple contractions? The language was still very stiff, of course, but there was a tiny bit less formality than earlier. Maybe he wasn’t reading as closely before he hit send. Trying not to chicken out?

Pure speculation, but I liked the thought.

MC: Shame. They can be fun, even without the orange juice.  MC: What with the pandemic and all, it was that or nothing, so I tried my hand at it a few times. MC: Nothing came of it but you know. It passes the time.

Jake: Is that where your ability to connect with the group without meeting came from?

Interesting question, even feeling a bit loaded. I’d already confirmed I was single, of course, and I’d said I liked him more than once by now. But that still left a lot of room between “hermit” and “almost having a partner”, and I wondered if he was trying to suss that out.

MC: Not entirely. Most of my friendships are online ever since I moved a few years ago. I’m not the greatest at initiating conversation so I’ve mostly stuck with keeping in touch with them. MC: Keeping and forming connections aren’t the exact same, but since this lot seems to keep me close because Hannah sent my number, it helps.

Jake: I refuse to believe that you aren’t good at initiating. Jake: Conversation.

Oh, that made me laugh. I wanted desperately to push a little harder on that one, but he’d already logged off once and I was really enjoying talking to him. I got up and poured myself another glass to help me relax a bit further, since the one from my date with Jessy had started to wear off.

MC: I’m actually very shy at first, believe it or not. It’s only once I get comfortable with someone that I become the giant pain in the ass you see before you.

Jake: Does that mean you feel comfortable with me?

MC: Clearly. That’s how transitive property works, right?

Jake: Are you sure that’s the transitive property?

MC: Nope, but it is now.

Jake: Haha. Jake: You are quite intriguing.

MC: Boy, you know how to charm a girl. I guess “intriguing” certainly isn’t the worst I’ve been called though.

Jake is typing…

He stopped. I again waited for him to log off, but after several long beats, he hadn’t. I decided to put him out of his misery a little.

MC: So how much were you able to dig up on me? I’ve been curious.  MC: I can only assume by this point that you know more about me than I do.

If he was surprised or unnerved by the change in topic, he didn’t show it.

Jake: I looked, of course, before I gave you access to Hannah’s information and the spy mode. Jake: It was possible that the reason she had your number was because you were the culprit.

MC: Guess being across the world helped reassure you.

Jake: That was part of it.  Jake: Additionally, everything I saw pointed towards you being a perfectly normal woman.

MC: Normal? You must be bad at your job, sir. MC: But you didn’t actually answer what you dug up.

Jake: No, I did not. Jake: But I suppose you deserve to know. Jake: As you’ve mentioned, I have access to your phone. That allowed me to find your social media profiles and email very quickly. Jake: You don’t list your job on social media, interestingly. Nor the last several.

MC: No way I’m making it easier for them to find the shit I say. MC: I’m not sure I’d get fired faster for the nerdy bullshit or the liberal rants.

Jake: It’s a good idea to keep those separate, of course. Jake: It still would not be impossible to find. Jake: But you also use a nickname on social media and your legal name for work. Jake: And separate emails. Jake: That helps as well.

MC: My, are you this thorough with everything you do? MC: But the analysis is good. Though I’m sure you still found more.

I grinned into my glass a little. There was a chance he wouldn’t pick up on the suggestion behind my comment, but I wouldn’t mind letting him stew on it just the tiniest bit if he managed to. 

Jake: Of course. Being thorough is required in my line of work, so it’s part of my nature.

Damn. Just enough that he could still be talking about hacking. Or he could be volleying it back. And in order to know, I’d have to be more obvious. But I couldn’t let him win like that, so I decided to let it go for now.

MC: I’m not that easily deterred. If you found my work email, you found my LinkedIn.

Jake: Yes, of course.

MC: And knowing my email means you know the username for just about everything.

Jake: Yes.

MC: So, anything interesting?

Jake: Well, to be honest, once I’d found your socials and work information, I had enough to determine you were safe to contact.

MC: And I totally believe that someone we’ve established as being painstakingly thorough stopped there.

Jake: After some of our conversations where I revealed more details to you, I did look a bit further. I connected you to an old username it doesn’t seem you use any longer.

Oh, damn. I should have expected that, but suddenly realized just how many old profiles I had under that name. Everything from dating profiles, to forums, to fanfiction. It went back as far as middle school.

Jake: I stopped after finding an old Xanga and LiveJournal. At that point, it no longer felt appropriate.

Okay, maybe he didn’t find my RPG posts. I hoped.

MC: I would have thought you’d find those entertaining. I was pretty angsty and faux-deep. Almost as bad as my sad folder. MC: Loved me some sparkly HTML backgrounds.  MC: I got them all from a source of course, we can’t all be geniuses, and I considered myself something of a writer at the time. Coding was never my thing.

Hopefully, leaning into the embarrassment would get rid of the blush on my face. Plus, the second glass of wine was certainly helping to loosen my lips, er,  fingers.

Jake: To be totally honest, I was far too busy remembering my own teenage angst to focus too heavily on yours.  Jake: I scrubbed my own profiles years ago.

I smirked.

MC: Hm, now I’m curious what you used. MC: You can’t be too much younger than me if Xanga and LJ brought you back. MC: But I guess you could still be a late MySpace, early Facebook user and still remember those. MC: I’d bet good money you got your hands on a computer young, and probably had even less oversight than I did.

Jake: Mmh, but I thought your mom told you to be afraid of internet strangers.

MC: But she also believed I’d listen. It’s like she didn’t even know me. 🤭  MC: You’re probably not even the worst stranger danger I’ve let myself get involved with.

Another pause, but this one felt a little more comfortable. Maybe he was curious and wondering if he should ask. Or maybe he was pondering the meaning of “get involved with”. Maybe he just didn’t know how to reply.

Still, this time felt rather friendly, like the last hour or so had relaxed something in us both. I had no idea if he was flirting back or just clueless, but I didn’t sense any discomfort beyond maybe uncertainty. 

Jake: MC, I have to go. Jake: But thank you, I enjoyed this time.

MC: Hopefully it made good practice for your next virtual date. 😝

Why would I say that? And why did that thought bother me that badly? Of him taking our conversation and using it to charm someone else? 

That’s not good.

Jake: We shall see. Jake: :)

Well, fuck. 

Honestly, I probably could have dwelled on that for the rest of the night. But nothing sobers a girl up and jerks her out of daydreaming about men quite like a rapid fire confession of lawbreaking from someone who you thought hated you, discovery of a lead on a kidnapping case, and realizing that the initials on that same lead may well match the initials of the guy you were just daydreaming about.

After a nearly sleepless night, I would come to realize that nothing cleared up exhaustion quite like a threatening call and learning that someone you knew was barely clinging to life, either.

NEXT

[catty-words]

I am interested in how the Boink voucher is going to go. Will they have sex? Will they not have sex? We know Ben will be dating Margot in the first episodes and Devi has a thing with that new guy (hopefully we don’t have to see either of them for too long) but something must have happened that generates some level of miscommunication between them.

I am sure Devi finds out Margot and Ben are dating on their first day of senior year. which makes me wonder, what happened during the summer? it became awkward? they didn’t talk? I hardly doubt this because they’ve been involved in very awkward situations and they didn’t stop talking to each other and Ben has been the type to talk about things. Did they make some sort of a pact? (it’s very Devi and Ben could just go along with it). Did she not communicate that she’s not going to Shudland and Ben is surprised to see her back to school?

I’m positive the scene with Devi walking all smiles is the first episode and that’s when she sees Ben kissing Margot. It seems like she comes from a good place and given the leaked script she wasn’t expecting Ben to date anyone. I also think the new guy thing won’t be like a Des situation. IF Devi did had sex with Ben, maybe she’s playing the field with her new found confidence (and Ben is with Margot so that’s also Devi just being Devi out of spite).

Mit said on a interview for the Nintendo red carpet that it starts right where we left off and with drama, that usually the drama starts by the middle but the stakes are high since the very start so I’m sure the new season opens with the boink scene and something happens that shapes the miscommunication arc.

What would you hope happens? Do you want Devi and Ben to lose their virginity? I think it would be interesting to see because it ads a layer to their interactions because now it’s just not about the mutual pinning but they knowing what is like to be with the other in that way. And it would be interesting to see Fabiola and Eleanor’s reactions to learning this info.

i'm gonna be honest with you, chief. i find trying to predict What Will Happen Next a deeply unpleasant way to engage with a television show. like, long-established and nothing to do with your ask, i'm not trying to guilt you for sending it, i love you for wanting to discuss this show with me. i've just found, after a decade and some change kicking around in fandoms, that this particular activity is not my style. and in the case of nhie specifically, being too concerned with the promos and building up expectations actively undermined my ability to accept season two for what it was.

so, the short answer is: i'm excited to see how it all plays out, but i'm not hoping for anything in particular. i want my heart open to loving however the writers decided to conclude this series that's now hardwired into my dna.

the longer answer, because i don't wish to leave you hanging, is that i did actually watch this teaser, and i'm of the opinion that the ben becoming 'a stud over the summer' vibes are contingent on the kid having sex for the first time and deciding he's hot shit about it. also, when i was watching 3.10 for the first time, one of my immediate thoughts after it finished was about how ben doesn't know devi's not actually going to shrubland, so i believe at least a little of their conflict will be born of that, if not something else that happened between them over the summer. that's as far as i'm willing to go with conjecture.

[lawonderlandwriter]

Living in Hollywood and working in Hollywood and working for someone who is related to someone who works for someone that is work-related to the Game of Thrones crew and therefore possibly people working on Snow, I feel like I can’t outright say “Fuck Kit Harington” for the things he said about Dany in the GOT Con panel today but.... I’m really disappointed in him, I’ll say that much. (If you’d like to know what Kit said during the panel, read THIS thread on Twitter, other threads have more info but this gives the gist). 

When it was first announced Kit was behind the Snow spinoff, I legitimately had some hope for it and, further finding out about GRRM’s direct involvement (when he had virtually none in the final few seasons of GOT), I had a lot of hope for it that it would try to steer his character’s ending (and maybe a few others) back to what was originally intended in the books, if our theories were correct that the show was complete D&D fan fiction. 

What purpose could Kit - but especially GRRM - have for creating this spinoff other than to “fix” or at least attempt to fix what D&D had broken with the end of Game of Thrones? Money? Returning to the cash-cow, as they say? I had hoped this wasn’t the case. 

And then Emilia was at that panel for the DIFLondon event and said so many hopeful and lovely things about Dany AND JON that I thought, what else could the spinoff be but a way to make all those lovely things a reality? With Kit being Emilia’s alleged best friend, and the two having talked about it before the news was leaked, it made sense to me that she would be a part of it, if not full on producing it with Kit. 

But with the shit Kit said about Jon killing Dany “feeling right”, I just don’t know. That hope I had for the spinoff is definitely crushed, I can’t say that it’s not. Is it crushed completely? Probably not, because I’m a fucking idiot and even with the leaks of 8x05, I still went into watching that episode hoping Dany wouldn’t burn down King’s Landing. That’s just the kind of dumbassery my pea brain participates in. 

The pea brain is scrambling to rationalize everything at the moment. Excuses such as “well, it’s what he said in all his official interviews when the season first came out, all the things he was “forced” to say, but it still differs from things he’s said in less formal settings” and “when asked who he thought should have been King of the Seven Kingdoms, he said he thought it should be Jon Snow even though in the past he’s said he didn’t think Jon should be King because it didn’t suit his character so he’s clearly just saying random shit to please the audience...” Kit also said his favorite season was S2 because there were more character moments so was that a secret dig at everything that went on in later seasons without outright saying he hated them? He also said he was “shell shocked” (yeah, we fucking know, we know he went to goddamn rehab about it) when at the table read and found out Jon kills Dany. He said Ned Stark would not have approved of him killing Dany. He said he hoped Jon would be able to find love again but also said he thought Jon would have issues being in another relationship because of his trauma from what happened with Dany and Ygritte. 

All of which just seems....all over the place. 

Was killing Dany right? Or is Kit’s real opinion what he speculated would have been Ned’s opinion on the situation? Should Jon find love again or is he too fucked up for love? Should Jon have been King or is it not appropriate for the type of character he is? What are the real answers, Kit??

People are also saying that, as with previous GOT panels, everything here was rehearsed / the questions were definitely vetted, meaning the answers may have been rehearsed / pre-written too. But if HBO execs are vetting questions and telling Kit what to say, are they basing his answers on only the previous series or do they write his answers according to what Kit and GRRM have planned for the spinoff. And if the former and not the latter, does that mean none of what Kit said is how he actually feels and therefore should not be taken as a sign of what’s to come for the spinoff..................? 

You would think that a question about the spinoff would have been NUMBER 1 on the questioners’ priority list but no one asked / Kit said nothing about it (which is ODD considering most people speculated that HBO would use this as an opportunity to officially announce that the spinoff was happening, considering, what the fuck else was the purpose of Kit even being there, if not to build up hype for his new show?) 

I’m rambling. Fuck it, I’ll ramble. And I’ll just say, I don’t think his answer about Jon killing Dany was entirely his own and that it was probably pre-written for him by the HBO marketing team who wouldn't give a fuck about the audience’s opinions on Dany. Of course Kit would have to say Dany needed to die after murdering nearly a million people in a single day, or of course the marketing department would make him say that, as they don’t want people thinking, hey, we and our actors are cool with mass murder, even if it’s fictional.  

Am I still upset about what Kit said? Absolutely. Do I think the answer was all his own? Not entirely. Do I think this means anything for the plot of the Jon Snow spinoff? Entirely up in the air. Will the pea brain still have hope for this spin off? Possibly. Even if I believed Kit did answer entirely honestly and that he thought Jon killing Dany “felt right” for their ending together, I still can’t fathom what a Jon Snow spinoff would be about if it didn’t somehow involve her being resurrected. It’s still a limited series. Jon still has fuck all to do up at the Wall with 0 character plot intrigue. Even if they did a “hey, the Night King and the White Walkers aren't really gone,” I don’t know how it would work without Dany. Maybe that’s wishful thinking. Maybe Kit would pull the ultimate beyond ultimate of betrayals and have Drogon return and make Jon his new rider as many Dany haters have speculated....?

Who knows? Whatever. I’m still rambling. I’m all over the place. We have nothing new to obsess over so I will be thinking about this for far longer than is necessary and reading into it far more than is necessary for something that, again, was probably just some generic bullshit written by some marketing intern. 

[seasurfacefullofclouds1]

I am a relatively new Louis fan and like to tell my fandom experiences and my astonishment as someone who is GP and now following the tour and the release:

I have never been into mainstream music or boybands at all. Also pop is not so mine. I am listening to a lot French urban pop like Gims, a lot indie rock or bands like Milky Chance, Imagine Dragons.

But my bff has been into 1D at a time where she experienced her sexuality and I got why she experienced the 1D fandom back in 2013/14 as a safe place to meet other members of the queer community on SM and on shows. I have been with her to 2 1D shows in 2014 and 2015 in Europe and this has been like a culture shock for me. I liked Zayn and Louis – these two had charisma without knowing it. I wondered why Harry did not realy interact with the others on stage and always put on a show when it wasn’t his turn.

This year I have been with her to a Louis show and hell yeah he put me through all possible emotions in 90 minutes and I didn’t even like Walls so much – you know wrong music style for me. I love his voice and his kind of doing a show. That’s far away from boyband. And here I am.

I started following UAs on twitter and insta and bloody hell I wanted fan info not immediate tries to convert me into a Larrie. His private live is non of my business and I am not interested at all. I am here for the music and his thoughts about his songwriting and the industry. I am aware what is going on in the entertainment industry as I worked there and quit because it has been too much. Having Sony and HS as enemies and still being here and finding a new label and releasing new music – respect.

I went from insta and twitter to tumblr (first time ever) and found some Louis UAs and solo Louis blogs and enjoyed tour and AFHF here and read a lot about his way and struggles in the industry. I watched livestreams – never did before!

And then release happened and I thought this will be fun. I thought nice articles and interviews: NME and AP –  I like it. Snack wars – had a good laugh. James Cordon and GMA not my world but I get it. No radio in UK – shit and probably not expected. UK tabloid TV probably better than nothing and he has only been 3 days back in UK. A live performance in NY – oh where can I watch?

But the whole fandom went crazy and I became confused. Larries are mad because he is talking about the kid and about ticket prices and are busy with defending Harry instead of listening to BTM? Harries are mad at him because that is not compatible with their Harry world? Solos are mad because there is not enough promo or the wrong promo?

The F1 playlist today - my thought has been oh a lot of this is on my playlists as well makes him even more interesting but the fandom went wild because he didn’t put his songs on.

I do not want to offend anyone with my long rambling - I get the disappointment -  only share my thoughts. So my conclusion: I included BTM in my spotify playlists all 3 or 4 songs (never done before) - I listened to the leaks and now I can’t wait for the album – I am thrilled about The Greatest - but I am hopelessly overstrained in the fandom.

Yup, I’m streaming for my own enjoyment and thinking about his lyrics and music video, and then I’ll wait for the album and tour announcement.

I can’t pay too much attention anymore tbh. It’s too painful. Thanks for your message.

[tarjapearce]

Quite The Unexpected (Pt. 8)

WARNING: MENTIONS OF DEATH, S3X SLAVERY, ABDUCTIONS, MILD VOYEURISM, DISRUPTIVE BEHAVIOR, STALKING.

Word Count: 5730

It if wasn't for the sudden operative in St. Louis, The Fox would've been in his new den hours ago. He was clever, but for one minute he thought he'd take the officer's life on the spot as he kept staring at him, as if trying to figure out his familiar face.

But the "You look like a crackhead nephew of mines" saved the officer's life, despite his mind now wondering if he truly looked like a junkie. He had tried his fair shares of drugs besides the usual alchohol. But never actually got hooked as many people in their first attempts.

Cocaine and molly made him euphoric and for some reason primitive, in all the sense of the word, weed made him phylosophical, LSD unleashed his inner chaos, Defalt's digital trips made him bubbly, if it wasn't for the weird footage of himself walking aimlessly and screaming at random things he once found on one of his target's laptop, he was pretty sure he'd be hooked to them.

Stuff like Meth, crack and other hardcore stuffs was out of his plate due to him training and turning his body into a weapon. Drugs weren't his priority, they were a rare thing to keep his mind off, plus, he had better and more useful things to waste his money on.

He got to his new hideout. A single person apartment worthy of his needs and requirements located in a convenient area. He was close to the hospital, and the supermarket. The layout of it all helped him even more to be discreet when it came to hide himself. It was a good place.

The small apartment wasn't much to look at. The creaking of the floor boards perfectly complimented the pale blue of the walls and the drip dropping of a small leak in the kitchen sink. But it provided what he needed, street view windows that showed the street both ways, with a view of the hospital. It was small and quaint but it would serve its use. It was the perfect and unsuspecting hideout.

Once more he unpacked, plugged and connected to the net and got his apps working, then he moved on the suitcase full of the clothes he had bought along his toiletries and other things. The apartment consisted in one master bedroom, a bathroom with bathtub, kitchen, a small laundry area and a small livingroom next to the kitchen. With little to no furnace.

Funny how your whole life fit in a car.

He almost chuckled at it. But right now his mind needed to focus on one thing. You.

It did made his blood go cold when he found out that the police never told you that the people you had helped to put behind bars had relatives that had escaped and continued their business elsewhere. And just when they found out the first woman, he was sure things could go awfully wrong with you if they ever found out about your new identity.

His alarm however reminded him that by this hour you'd be sound asleep. 12 a.m. First he gotta make sure that there wasn't any hidden information left in your digital file.

As he created a backdoor, he was also researching, cloning the data route and access, and so new info appeared. It seemed that everytime they did a routinary check-up and you had to sign something, they scanned it afterwards to keep it as a back up. The last update, was yesterday.

It had the hot-line number your case was referred to, new safety protocols and of course some new observations written among the long lines of information.

"She seems nervous of being in danger again."

"Miss Lille has filed a restraining order against Mason Kozik, in case he has his sentence reduced or comes out early by conditioned freedom."

"Asked for private lines, but refused one almost instantly. Will keep up a check on her."

Her fear is understandable, and even more when the same people hid vital information from her and her safety.

His eyes narrowed upon him reading Mason's name. His lips scowled almost instantly. Seems like he would have to add him to his personal list. As for the private line, he knew that you knew nothing could stop him from finding someone, that was his job after all.

But in all honesty, if you had a private line, he was pretty sure that he would find less fear-inducing ways to reach to you. Something that he didn't want to resort to.

I've caused her enough problems. But I can't let her go carefree when there is a greater danger coming over. A fucking time bomb.

Why do you care, anyways?

His mind almost chided instantly at the ever nonstopping inner debate about you.

It's the least I can do after... everything I did.

Sighing, his weary eyes fixated into a sub-file that had the name of Kyrill Vasilyev, as he dug deeper he found more details as to how you ended up in the witness protection program. Aiden found your alert call to the police, and played the audio.

He felt both proud and quite amazed by the calm and collected way you spoke, despite having a possible murder looming over you and how discreet you were about the whole thing.

The rest of the audio played and he gave a sympathetic light smile. Despite just meeting someone, you didn't hesitate to help, even if that meant risking your life. It felt soothing for him. Why? He wasn't sure but what he knew is that he found, although a bit too late, a new sense of respect for you that went borderline in admiration.

Your bravado and silence had impressed him, however his stomach couldn't help but lurch as he saw the forensic pictures of your copycat. Dead, eyes wide and infused on fear, mouth slightly ajar with blood bubbles popping out of the left corner of her now purple lips and the knife plunged deep in the chest area.

If it wasn't for the brackets and the brown iris of the unknown girl, he could be very much looking at your homicide pictures. And the more he stared at them, the dead woman stared back at him. His sea-green eyes adverted from the image as his hands typed in new codes.

He had underestimated you, in so many ways that he almost slapped himself for being so arrogant. He could understand you a bit better now, but that only made him more uncomfortable by the soft brewing guilt that had been washing over him upon remembering all those things he said to you.

One file however interrupted his train of thoughts. As he clicked into it and read in more, his anger crawled up again to his brain.

" Search dropped a year after Ms. Brownsten was relocated, Special units couldn't find any other solid leads on Vasilyev's relatives. Comissioner Crawley assigned new case."

The more he looked up to it, the more names came in. But undoubtedly they never took a time to sit and tell you about the situation. Minutes slowly poured into hours, and he finally took a nap.

---

By the time he had awoken, it was 12 pm. Lunch time. Once he had got up, washed his teeth and put his gear on, he typed in data so the gps could pinpoint your exact location. And to his surprise, you were outside work, in a bistro. Probably in your lunch break.

Sighing and looking at the dial icon, he hesitated for a couple of seconds, however the buzzing of his phone startled him, Jordi's name displaying on the screen.

"Jordi." " Pearce. How is your new place fitting?" "Have everything I nee-"" "Thank me later. You've got work. I'll send you the files a contact of mines found in the depths of internet regarding a certain someone you're looking for."

His brows rose softly in interest.

"Alright. Send them over."

"Hold up a second, Vengeance. This information isn't exactly free. You see, the more I ask around, the more attention I draw to myself and that's no good. Had to dispose of someone already."

"How much?"

"As much as it hurts to refuse money, this time a favor will do the trick."

"I won't do hired gunwork for you."

"Will you let me finish? Thanks. It's not a fixer's job. Is a hacking and observation task. My contact gave me this adress, needs a backdoor installed and a total wipeout. Apparently the files I'm sending you were in a russian server. A very private looking one by the way, whatever that means."

His eyes narrowed as the files begun to show up in his inbox.

"What exactly I am looking at?" "Guest lists, clients, the merchandise names and ages, drugs menu, you name it."

"Sounds way too good to be true."

"I can tell you, as he explained it to me, it was amateur's luck. Is it useful or not?" "Just a backdoor and wipeout?"

He heard Jordi on the other line chuckling.

"Just that and following a guy." "Name?" "It's a CEO of a small company. His data will also be included. Let me know when it's done."

Jordi hung up and soon, The Fox begun preparing and after some minutes, he secured his apartment and left it to go to the address the data threw at him.

He was relieved it wasn't hired gunwork, the least he wanted to cause was a ruckus or draw more unnecesary attention towards him. The address took him to a comercial avenue, to a lawyer firm to be more precise.

He parked on across the three floored building, paid the parking meter and sat on the bench. He looked like a posh man. Black turtleneck and trenchcoat, brown leather boots and pants along a watch on his left wrist and a cream colored Gatsby cap.

As people passed by, he was hacking. He took a quick peek of the information, and to his not surprise there were funds being rerouted to an account in foreign lands. It took him solid 10 minutes to install the backdoor and soon, the wipeout begun.

The sudden frustrated screams could be heard from his spot. It was all quite the show. Aiden could spot a man on the second floor's window,  yelling and throwing things upon realizing what was going on. The man could only watch as all the info was lost. A soft beep confirmed that his job was done.

A buzz however, gave him the gps position of the current target.

"Lucky day." Sarcasm dripped from his tone as the screen displayed "Di'Luca's Bistro."

Hopefully (Name) is long gone from the place.

Before the neurotic-looking man could spot him, he stood up and left. The Bistro was a couple of blocks away and  it was kind of a win win for him. He got to walk and watch you both.

The more he approached, the more dread crept up to his chest. But business was business and after all the information he was receiving, messing up was out of question. Crossing the street he saw a couple of street artists performing, playing instruments or theatricals.

The soft jazz tune was being played, loud enough to entretain without overwhelming the passbyers. The tune made him feel like he was in a movie, soft and mysterious notes played, ironically, he chuckled. The spot was perfect, he could see the outside layout of the bistro.

Some people in the outside tables, drinking, eating and enjoying themselves, so he sat at the waiting benches outside the stores across the street.

His target however was inside, so he hacked the cameras to observe him. The CEO was talking to a man, both with a beer and snacks. His Profiler app gave him a name.

"Peterson, Jonathan. 53. Occupation: CEO of A & J Logistics. 

Income: $156,000.

Accused of fiscal fraud"

"Greyman, Michael. 42 Occupation: CEO of PubliStop. 

Income: $79,940. Tax Evader"

His finger tilted by accident the camera's movement when a new data came in.

"Lille, (Name). 31 Occupation: Registered Nurse.

Income: $77,680. Protected Witness"

He swallowed thickly upon him seeing your silhouette in the outside lateral tables behind some decorative bushes.  His target however talked for a few more minutes to the elder man and left, leaving his beer intact. Aiden's fingers quickly tapped what he had witnessed to Jordi's contact, finishing the business to finally resume his main purpose.

The jazz beats turned into a more mellow and a hint of sultry tune, and again, the feeling of him being in a movie took over. His screen displayed a decent resolution video of you.

Sitting alone, reading what it seemed to be the menu, your fingers dragged slowly through the words, picking your food. The background music felt a bit surreal by how how well it matched the aeathetic of it all. Your legs crossed, leaving a portion of your generous thighs exposed.

His adam's apple downed softly. The dress that you were wearing hugged your shape and curves all too perfectly,  the low heel shoes that always matched with your outfit, your new tattoos, your blue eyes, sweet-looking face and the music  made his eyes to advert for a moment as he cleared his throat softly.

it's called voyeurism.

Something that he couldn't explain was how much you could change within a small amount of time. Everytime he decided to leave, you got different. It was as if you were trying to look the opposite of Clara and unlink yourself from everything regarding to her.

Those words must've stung her really bad for her to change this much.

No. You've been always different from Clara. Even the first time you both met, it was all different. The only alike you had with her was some facial features, like the well shaped nose, the plump lip along the blue eyes and face shape.

Fool of you to assume her change was because of you.

His green eyes looked back at the screen and you still were there, picking your food when a waiter came in with a drink.

Wednesdays days off.

Soon, a familiar face popped up and you beamed. If he could recall, it was Rita along her wife and another woman he didn't identify right away, until the profiler scanned each one of them.

"Vasquez,Rita. 35 Occupation: Advanced Practice Registered Nurse. Income: $105,500. Collects international Beers"

"Hyung-Vasquez, Rose. 41 Occupation: Interior Designer. Income: $59,700. Escaped North Korea"

"Blackwood, Julia. 27. Occupation: Registered Nurse. Income:$77, 680. Addicted to supermarket coupons."

The women greeted and soon they all took a seat. The camera solely focused on you, it watched every of your moves. He could see some small piercings in your right ear. His eyes took in as much information as they needed. He noticed a beautymark on the left side of your crossed thigh, another one in your ankle and another one hovering over the supple curve of your breasts.

Focus, Pearce

Moments like these reminded him that he was still a man and still he felt like slapping himself for feeling like an utter creep. He took a final look on the screen and that's when he saw you talking through the phone. the woman named Julia came close your phone and you both giggled as you tried to shoo her away. There was a shade of red in your cheeks once you put your device away.

He logged out the camera, accomodated his cap and left. He had new information regarding you and his prey. By the looks of it all, you seemed overall happier, but of course he knew not everything was as it seemed. Just because he couldn't see the danger, meant it didn't exist.

You remained blissfully ignorant to what was happening around you, and he was there to try and make sure you were kept that way.

When he returned his place, all the info was finally downloaded along a thank you message. He had gotten some pizza delivered as he was gone, and so his work begun again.

The only few times his body rested was either him eating or taking a shower and sleeping. He spent two weeks observing and learning your routine.

Not a creep at all...

He chuckled inwards as he wrote the last bits of your schedule. He already had a map on his wall. Pictures stuck on the wall, trying to connect the plotting and the responsibles behind it all.

Your routine was quite standard. Monday you went to work at 6 am, lunchbreak at 1 sometimes 2 depending on how busy it was, shift ending at 6:30 pm. Tuesdays you entered at 12 pm and left at 6:30 pm. Wednesdays were days off, Thusdays you entered at 6 and left at 12:30, and friday from 6 am to 7pm. Leaving you weekends off.

Your schedule was supposed to be just 3 working days, but you somehow managed to distribute your working hours, making it 4 days, with two half shifts, and 3 days off. A well earned rest. You worked hard and it showed on your income and physique.

Financially you were stable, more than capable of living on your own, spend and save at your will and travel if you wished to. He could see the inversion on yourself, and if he was honest, it had surprised him. It felt like you had a glow up post break up, but come to think of it you both did break that bond. He didn't know how to call it at the moment, but you firmly had said he was your friend.

Was

His fingers hovered above the keyboard, doubting to press the "dial" button. He had awaited for wednesday again, since the least he wanted to do was to interrupt or put you in a bad position at work by distracting you.

Do it.

He pressed the button.

The dialing tone rang three times before your mellow voice came through the line.

"Hello?"

His jaw tensed and so did his muscles. He could hear a bit of your breathing and water running on the back.

Sounds like bath time.

"Hello?"

You dragged the "o" a bit, scoffing subtly before hanging up. His throat was dry and speaking felt raspy. But he just froze. He had disguised his number as one of the customer service from your phone company.

Exhaling slowly and waiting a couple of minutes he tried again. The phone rang 4 times before the call was picked.

"Hello?" He instantly frowned at the sudden unknown deep male voice. His fingertips quietly typed in to record the call.

"I don't think the line's working." "You think?" Aiden could hear you mumbling along the tinkering of some pots and pans.

"I mean, I hope they call to apologize for the shitty internet service I've been having lately."

The male laughed through the phone. "They can still hear you, you know?" "Good. I hope they do. Cause I refuse to keep paying for a terrible service."

"Welp, you heard her guys. Better change that." You laughed softly as some rustling came.

"Leave that phone and come help me. Dinner is almost-"

Aiden could hear clearly a kissing sound before you could finish the sentence. His stomach felt heavy as the conversation kept going.

"Kisses for later, I'm starving." "Alright, alright." " Stop pinching the food! Geez. Uh...Thank you for nothing, bye!"  You hung up the call as you giggled.

He released a long breath as a flood of questions popped in his mind.

Who was that man? Why hadn't he had  seen him during him stalking you the past week? Was he trustworthy?

If he's in her apartment preparing dinner, the answer is a bit obvious, isn't it?

Not only he had to look for more leads to the crime lord, but he also had to keep an eye on you and now, a new thing was added to the list. Finding out who was that guy.

Not to mention his sudden freezing upon him calling you. A text would be quite evident but it'll be more effective, he was avoiding texting you since he knew you'd block him right away.

Better trying than nothing.

"Tomorrow though" he mumbled as he yawned in boredom.

Don't want to ruin whatever fun she's having.

With a goal in his mind, he begun working. Now that he knew where to start he went through the data Jordi's contact sent him. If it was mere amateur's work, wich he doubted, the guy had stopped over a jackpot. But the way the info was extracted, in a whole without being traced was more like a proffessional doing it.

His heart beat faster upon the screen showing him a message.

"Plase, answer the call. :) "

Call?

Seconds later an unknown number called to his phone, and again, it was untreaceable.

Frowning he pushed the green colored icon and the distorted voice that once called him back at San Francisco, echoed again through the line.

"I told you we'd meet up again, Mr. Pearce."

"Who is this?"

"Just a fan of your work."

"And a hacker."

"Ah, that. I'm certainly not. It was mere good luck. I like to think of myself more of an information smuggler and other things. But enough on formalities. Is the information you have, useful?"

"Why are you helping me?"

"I would say... I'm helping myself. You see... the people you are after are a new whole level of dangerous and a common enemy to many many good people."

"And what does this people have to do with you?"

"Nothing, yet everything. Let's say, we are alike in some ways. We dislike injustice."

"Why not going after them yourself then?" "Ahh, you see... If I could even walk or have your skill set, I wouldn't be tasking you with such things. But, I figured a way to reach out to you. You answered the call and now is time to act."

"And you just expect me to trust you that easily?"

"Well, if I wanted to I could put you in Interpol's web profiles within a couple of calls. Or even better, your geolocation to some people that has been mentioning you lately or having a friend of mine doing a wipeout of your data as you were gone. But I haven't, cause I am smart enough to not mess with a man like you."

The voice sighed and smacked it's lips.

"Sometimes, Mr. Pearce, guilt among other negatives manifest through ourselves as rage, fear, presure to do the right thing, impotence. I particularly feel the last one all the time upon seeing how these people have ended so many lives, precious and close to me and others. But again, I found a way to reach out to you, and give you the tools you need to keep on what many people couldn't."

"And why is that?"

"You're the Vigilante, Mr. Pearce. That's why. None else has enough balls to get their hands dirty when the justice we are ruled by is not keeping up their promises."

His fingers held on tightly on the phone and his lips were set in a straight line.

"I am sure you won't let us down."

"What if I fail?" Aiden tested.

He could hear a faint chuckle from the other line.

"Then you fail and move on, Mr. Pearce. We are humans after all. Even you. Even with your knowledge and skills, you can only do as much as you can before someone either kills you or you die a hero."

There was a silence and the mysterious distorted voice spoke again.

"Rest assured, this is the last time we speak or interact. My part in this is done. Now is up to you."

The call ended and Aiden could only look at the screen. And think of what had been said.

It seems I'm stuck with that title for a bit longer.

---- The nursing staff was called on a friday to reunite briefly with the Police. Your floor's  teams were in the lobby as the officers spoke.

"Ok. Ladies and gentlemen, this will be quick. We have had multiple calls reporting underaged girls and women that are kidnapped, forced into sex work and some even disappear. These people use hideouts in hotels and motels from this city. As medical staff and potential lives saviors, you must report any suspicious action. Even when the possible victim is telling you to piss off. Call or text 911 immediately. Code H.T. Any questions?"

"What if the attacker tries to, you know... shoot the girl or take her hostage?"

"Try to not disturb them as long as we get there so we can handle the situation properly" "What if they try to hurt us?" " Then you will have to fight or neutralize them. Remember this, if you are caught in a life or death situation, you either fight or get killed. This people will not hesitate to end a life if that means to escape from justice."

"Wait...is this related to San Francisco's crimes?" "Partially. We can't speak about ongoing investigations, miss. As mostly of us know Eau Claire has had an issue with human trafficking and sex slavery for quite a while. Hotels have been taught protocols they must follow if they ever get stuck in a situation like that, so the San Francisco's cases could be only a mere coincidence."

"We... uh, sadly found the first victim in the outskirts of the city. She was reported missing some days ago. 29, female, her name was Lucianna Bertolli."

"Is there anything you could do?" Julia had asked. Distress visible in her face.

"We are patrolling the areas we might think there is suspicious acivities."

Your blood froze upon hearing Mrs. Bertolli's last name. You had stopped hearing and could only see the officers' lips moving. Trying to warn and advice you the best they could. But you just stood there, shocked by the piece of information.

The officer's soon left and Julia shook your shoulder softly.

"You ok?" "Yeah. Just... gotta check on Mrs. Bertolli." "Uh, she already checked out, (Name). Her family was quite persistant in her leaving after the room change." Rita spoke as she stretched her arms.

"Is everything ok?" "No. Uhm..." you brough them closer to a more private spot and sighed.

"Yesterday I was checking on Mrs. Bertolli and she had asked for a room change. But she was kinda... anxious and uncomfortable, so I asked her what was wrong. Turns out she was like that because of her niece. She had not talked to them in three days. And she told me that no matter how angry her niece got, she always talked to them."

Your lips and throat went dry and for some reason, guilt flooded you.

"I... I told her that... That she'd be fine. That maybe she didn't want to talk in order to avoid hurt someone but... Oh my god... The woman they found is Mrs. Bertolli's niece."

"Oh my god..." Julia mumbled as her hand covered her mouth. Rita could only mimic Julia.

"(Name), mija, I think you should talk to the police." "No, Rita. Mrs. Bertolli told me that they hadn't moved a sole finger in searching her. Ever since she was reported missing. I just... don't think talking to them would solve anything. She has already been found anyways. But... I can't help feeling so bad. She was so distressed about it."

"And now you are. Look, there was no way to know what was happening, (Name). You only did what you thought it was right at the moment. Let's get you a cup of tea to ease those nerves and then let's get back to work, ok?"

You nodded and followed them.

"I certainly didn't know about the sex slavery over here though."

"Ah... well. As much as many people try to convince you that Eau Claire or Wisconsin in general is 100% safe? It's not. You just have to avoid some areas, definitively. But, otherwise you'll be fine." Rita pulled out the french press and put some tea bags inside, to then pour the hot water inside it.

"Besides, you've got Eric. I mean, he looks like a sweet guy. But I'm sure he wouldn't hesitate to kick some ass if needed."

"Heh... yeah, that does sounds like him. He's not the type to just throw punches and expect to solve things with violence."

Like Aiden.

Inwardly rolling your eyes, you drank from the tea Rita served you after a couple of minutes of it brewing, and exhaled softly.

"So... Eric and you are dating? Officially?" Rita spoke as she added sugar to her tea.

"Yup. I will text him about what happened today. He told me about him witnessing a mugging as he was out of town. Gotta make sure he is safe too."

" I think we all should take our precautions from now on. Specially you, Julia." Rita chided the young woman as she sipped from her cup of tea.

"I use Uber, and my driver is my neighbor from years. So... don't you worry. He invited me out actually. About damn time."

The conversation slowly dissipated any negative energy, and changed into a more casual one among you three. When your shift was done you went to your car, phone rang off. It was the company again.

"Hello?" "Good evening, Miss Lille. We would like to apologize profusely with your experience in the past days with our internet service. We'll send on friday a technician to take an evaluation on your current equipment."

"That would be great, yeah." "Perfect. I'm really sorry for your experience again. Any other complains you or Mr. Dudnik would like to file in?"

"What? Eric... I mean... Mr. Dudnik filed the complain?" "Yes, ma'am." "Ah, ok. Uhm about the other thing actually? I think your phone lines aren't working either. I mean, I received a couple of calls two days ago and I never got to speak with someone."

"Pardon?" "Yeah, like, you called me a couple of times two days ago. I thought it was a routinary call." "Oh no, no. Miss Lille. Unless a complain is issued, you wanting to renovate or upgrade the current plan or us inform you about new protocols and billing forms, you needing tech assistance, we have no reason to actually call our customers. Would you like for us to change your wifi password?"

"Yes, please. Thanks anyway." "Have a good day, Miss Lille."

The call was ended, rubbing your face in frustration you tossed the phone away on the passenger's seat. It was as if you had summoned him by mere thoughts. There was a new message in your inbox.

"We need to meet. Aiden P. "

"Oh fuck off and fuck you." Your lips mumbled angrily as your fingers blocked the number. Surely he'd find a way to reach out to you again, but it was no longer an option. At least not for you. His stance in your life had been burnt down completely by his words and his doings. You went home.

---- The message had just been delivered but showed no signs of you. He pressed the dial button.

"The number you're trying to reach is out of service. Please ca-"

He sighed deeply, expecting the outcome. But he would try again. And again if needed to get to you to warn you and tell you all the information he had discovered.

You might not like it, but you had to know one way or another.

And when he got tired of your blocking, new meassures were taken. He could go to your work at the end of your shift, but that would only make you to be even more closed off towards him. But you had left no choice upon refusing to talk through text or calls.

Time for a visit.

[littlemissidontcare]

Can someone tell me about the Ellie drama? I’m quite new here😂 // Ellie is Will’s wife Alissa’s childhood best friend. W&A set her up with Seb sometime closer to the summer of 2018. It was going relatively good and pretty lowkey (tho her friends were trying to expose them left and right) and she wasn’t really hated (a lot of people actually really seemed to like her, especially on twitter) until a week before he was supposed to be at the comic con in Brazil. Someone claimed to have been friends with one of Ellie’s close aussie friends and stated that they have access to that friend’s phone and screenshots of their private messages and facebook comments which shine an extremely bad light on Ellie, exposing her as racist, cultural appropriating and downright mean person. Nobody believed that shit at the time, so the person sent a screenshot of a private convo between Ellie and that aussie friend to one of the most active Seb gossip blogs at the time as a proof of their words. In that message Ellie’s friend said that she and her bf are coming to NYC in a few days and asked Ellie if they could all hang out, to which Ellie responded that she can’t because she’ll be flying to Brazil with Sebastian. Again, at the time nobody believed that screenshot and thought it was a fake convo. So that person decided to just leak everything online using ig account made for that purpose. They leaked Ellie’s private Facebook pics in which she was seen appropriating Indian and Asian cultures, leaked her facebook comments in which she used the N-word and told someone to kill themselves. They also leaked ig dms between Ellie and that aussie friend in which Ellie made fun of a little child laughing and calling that child “ugly”. And they leaked that convo about going to Brazil as well. At the time many thought it was all fake and even tried to stop this private info from spreading. It was thought of as being fake up until Ellie did show up in Brazil with Sebastian. And all hell broke loose. But even then some people weren’t convinced that all those racist and rude comments were real and thought that it was all made up by that same gossip blog that received that info in the first place. But then it was actually discovered that the person who leaked those screenshots was in fact that aussie friend. She forgot to cover her profile pic and nobody in the fandom knew that person prior to that discovery so no one would’ve been able to even fake something like that using that friend’s private pic from her private ig and facebook accounts. Not to mention that that convo about Brazil trip contained private names that no one knew but once all was discovered turned out to be true. So Ellie got doxxed by her own friend for reasons unknown. Or perhaps that anon person was telling the truth about being friends with that friend and getting access to her private accounts. Who knows now. To this day there are some people who doubt those screenshots were real but there’s just no way they aren’t. Ellie spent the whole first night in Brazil deleting stuff from her FB account, deleting comments calling her out off of her ig and even called up Alissa and a few other of her friends because those quickly closed their FB accounts and also deleted a bunch of things. Her aussie crew was something else... racist, transphobic, fat shaming, slut shaming, making fun of diseases, using slurs - you name it. Even Alissa’s sister that still kept going despite being called out multiple times. Anyhow, Ellie seemed to have gone back to Oz the next day while Seb was at the actual convention. There were rumors that he and Ellie had a fight late at night and someone claimed to have seen him helping her get her bags to the car and then later seeing him with red eyes like he had been crying. All rumors tho, nothing that could be confirmed 100%. But after that, he was never seen with Ellie again, didn’t visit her in Oz, spent the holidays in the states with his friends etc. that’s the Ellie drama summary. Sorry if it’s a long read 😬

[sacramentonewsjournal]

RHONJ Teresa Giudice Offers Replace on Friendship With Dina

Actual Housewives of New Jersey OG, Teresa Giudice, is giving followers an replace on her relationships with former costar and pal, Dina Manzo, and RHONY star Ramona Singer after each skipped out on her marriage ceremony to Luis Ruelas after being initially slated to attend. Dina was alleged to be one among Teresa’s bridesmaids, however in line with sources, upon studying that the marriage can be filmed for a Bravo particular opted out on account of not wanting to look on digicam. Per Web page Six by way of Heavy, the supply defined, “Dina has made it clear that she doesn’t need to be on digicam, and Teresa is OK with it,” including that the 2 are nonetheless “as shut as ever.” Teresa confirmed the supply’s statements to be true throughout an October 2022 look on the Two T’s in a Pod podcast with Teddi Mellencamp and Tamra Choose, sustaining that she’s okay with Dina not being in attendance and she or he “completely get[s] it.” “We’re good, we’re all good, yeah,” the RHONJ star mentioned earlier than persevering with, “As soon as you might be on TV and then you definitely aren’t on TV anymore, you don’t need to be in entrance of the digicam. I completely get it. It’s such as you’re working, and also you don’t need to work. Until you might be getting paid. And the factor isn’t that she needed to even receives a commission, however I get it. And her husband doesn’t need to be on digicam. I respect that.” Talking to Us Weekly’s Getting Actual with the Housewives podcast, Teresa had a special tackle RHONY’s Ramona Singer after she by accident leaked all of Teresa’s marriage ceremony info after sharing the invitation on social media and failing to indicate up for the ceremony and even ship a present in lieu of her attendance. Teresa says Ramona wasn’t “disinvited,” however that she’s “glad” she didn’t come. “No, she was not disinvited, however then she didn’t come. First, she places it on the market, after which she says she didn’t. Then she didn’t even come to the marriage, and you understand what? I’m glad she didn’t,” Teresa mentioned. Teresa went on to say she didn’t even need to discuss Ramona, calling again to their time on the primary season of Actual Housewives Final: Women Journey when Ramona insinuated Teresa was like a “scarecrow” with no mind. “I don’t even need to discuss her as a result of it’s such a joke for her to try this, it’s form of embarrassing as a result of, like, who does one thing like that?” Teresa instructed the outlet. “I imply, I heard she even confirmed her checking account on [Instagram], and that’s loopy to me, after which she’s talked about me saying I wanted a mind, and I used to be a scarecrow. I imply, I feel it ought to be the opposite approach round. I imply, when you’re on TV, you don’t present anyone’s invitation.” She makes a really legitimate level. Teresa stays unfazed by the matter as she’s laser-focused on her new mission; a podcast titled Namaste B$tches. The cookbook writer says she hopes to make use of the podcast as a platform to assist and encourage different ladies. “I at all times hear that from individuals like how inspiring I’m. I’ve helped so many individuals get by so many laborious issues in life, like most cancers. Simply plenty of issues that folks have instructed me, and that really feel good,” Teresa mentioned.  “So, then I’m like, ‘Possibly there was a function.’ I’d ask God — to not be non secular frankly, however I’m Catholic —‘Why did I’ve to undergo this?’ However I assume there was a purpose why, God gave me this platform to encourage different ladies on the market.” Originally published at Sacramento News Journal

[pokefan531]

[MMD Overwatch] D.VA tries Overwatch 2 reaction

In Wacky House, D.VA was excited to play her new game, Overwatch 2, and this was her reaction recently. Having exprience on DDOS Attacks, server problems, and many login fails, D.VA couldn't believe she can't paly the game any longer, not even the first Overwatch from 6 years ago. As if she didn't want to encounter another controversy, she is so shocked on how mess of the game is. All D.VA wanted to do is play her new game and enjoy good time with her friends with Tracer, Widowmaker, Mei, Lucio, and others to have fun interacting peacefully. But sadly it wasn't the case with them.

D.VA left her game and decides to type about her post sending out a message.

"Dear Overwatch team and all its fans...

I couldn't believe how big of a disaster my new game is. We were looking forward to playing a new game of ours, but sadly it is pwned with many disasters around OW2. I am not responsible with how the game turned out, but rather the company who created the game that we have no control over aside from being there. We didn't know the game would require SMS Phone number, have DDOS pwned the game server, and many disconnections. It disappoints me just as much as you players are for the game and I don't blame ya.

I really didn't want to encounter such disaster again like last year at summer. Yeah we know the company got all of us in big trouble when the news came up. I was in shock how much trouble our team got. I would explain how bad it got last year, but to say it publicly, Chairman Rose invited me to his announcement room to give out the infos as well as the info about OW2. In fact, a fry creature from Team Rainbow Rocket HQ far away spoke to me recently about his talk show. So I thought it would be great to get more points by chatting about both problems especially the former.

I'll say one thing. We have an enemy in our community, or at least we thought he was part of our community. The enemy is partly responsible with our disasters in recent years. Before I leak about him, we still have missing pieces to discover before we show off who the enemy is. It's best to unlock some infos as a way to prove the enemy's existence. We don't know when the show takes place, but player Rose accepted my invitation.

While I am not happy about the situation, every player in Wacky House understand about my problems and knew about the story. They tried their best to find out the errors about my new game. Even though no one can fix the mess, I appreciate their effort on seeking the issue. Anyways, hope you players understand and we hope to have the game in normal state.

From D.VA"

Credits: D.VA - DesertDraggon Sombra Room - CrossMMD

[omg-im-such-a-masochist]

Since you're the reason for my recently found switchblade obsession, here's a headcannon request for my favorite masochist 😈

The reader is an onlyfans content creator unbeknownst to her best friend/roomie whom she has the biggest crush on and Jay (her roomie) finds her in onlyfans and he offers his "switchblade services" on camera 😈🥴😘

GIIIIIRRRRLLLLLLLL 🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵 Also, this got LONG AF 😩 sorry

@writtingrose , @theworldofotps , @sophiewolfheart-blog , @sultryfandoms , @wrestlersownmyheart , @aerynscrichton , @whenimakeitshine1234 , @thealliasylum , @crowleysqueenofhell , @alliwant456 , @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch

It’s not like you’re embarrassed of what you do

It’s just that some people didn’t understand your work

And if you were being completely honest

You wish some people around you would never find out about your OnlyFans account

Like your best friend and roommate Jay White

Simply because your ultimate crush on the man has made itself known years ago

And you would be mortified if he ever found out that all the videos you make

Are secretly for him

He’s the one on your mind whenever you turn on the camera

You pretend that he’s in front of you

Watching every move you make

And that’s what make you outshine other content creators

The intimacy

The realness behind every move, sound and look

It was all because of him

And so your secret remained intact

Until one day Jay went to your bedroom to borrow your phone charger

Something he always did whenever he was home - since he never take his off the suitcase

He jumped on your bed and leaned to the side, pulling the white cable off the bedside table

Your computer was open and he didn’t mean to snoop around your personal stuff

But the small glimpse of red lace drawn his attention to the screen

Jay’s tongue quickly darted out to lick his lips that instantly got dry at such sight

He looked up at the name and wrote it down on his phone notes

Rapidly making his way back to his bedroom

He laid down on his bed and logged in the website

His fingers fastly typed his info to create an account

And after he paid for your subscription fee, Jay’s fingers instantly searched for the videos

He pressed play on what it looks like a striptease video

The soft purple dim lights complemented every curve on your body

And the slight darkness in the room somehow gave a more intimate, secret, sexy feel to it

Even though you were getting naked by the minute

There was still this dark aura that made everything feel mysterious, leaving a lot to the fertile imagination of the one who’ll watch it

“This is so wrong…It’s Y/N for fuck’s sake” He tried to put some reason on his mind but his hand still found its way towards his painfully hard cock

“But fuck, she’s so hot” He freed his cock from his black boxers and slowly began to pump his lenght “So beautiful” His moan echoed through his bedroom “As if I wasn’t obsessed with her already…fuck” His voice became a muffled pile of heavy breaths and curses as the first ropes of cum hit his abs

What Jay failed to notice - in between his loud moans - was you standing there, by his bedroom door, completely shocked, watching him jerk off to one of your videos while he panted your name

A sudden wave of bravery took ahold of you and before you could stop yourself, you spoke

“Need help cleaning up?”

Jay’s eyes went from utter shock to smugness “I do, actually” And he offered his hand to you

Intertwining your fingers, you walked towards his bed, placed the notebook on the floor and laid on your stomach between his legs

He took his semi hard cock on his hand and spreaded the remaining cum that leaked from the tip over your lips

You watched as his eyes became dark with lust and hunger “That’s a beautiful lip gloss you’ve got there, honeybee” He smirked “I bet it will also complement your pretty pussy too. But there’s only one way to find that out, right?”