#ill just link this post from now on when someone asks me about the difference

[caralara]

Why this Babygate situation is so different than before (but the same, too) and why it’s leading to The End

I don’t think I can count the number of anons in my inbox telling me to stop believing babygate will end soon because “the fandom has hoped before again and again and it never ended, we’ve been through this so many times” and of course it’s always accompanied by an “it’s for your own good sweetheart I just don’t want you to get disappointed and hurt” and yes yes yes thanks for the concern but I don’t take this lightly, you know? 

My optimism isn’t based purely on a gut feeling, and it’s not just based on Louis mentioning Freddie every now and again or him wearing one or two funny shirts. Nope. I looked at the big picture, the time frame from when Babygate began in 2014 (yes 2014) until now and looked at everything I could get my hands on and had a few thoughts about the why and how, so let me walk you through it, just so you can stop filling my inbox with concerned messages <3

First of all - if you’re new here go read my Xarry post to get some background info on why I think babygate even happened in the first place and why Louis went along with it more or less willingly, at least to some degree.

TL;DR: to make it possible for Harry to come out as bi (regardless of his true sexuality), Louis had to appear Super Straight™ in order to not out Larry in the process, and Harry had to sort of stunt with a man that wasn’t Louis - and how do you do that? Babygate & Xarry.

Ok, let’s dive right in. 

The Set-Up and Execution

Seeing as it seems they had Briana’s social media wiped clean by approximately end of 2014, the plan must have been in place by then already. This is just to illustrate that these sort of things are planned way ahead into the future - this is about 1.5 years before the baby was even born. 

In my opinion, it is debatable if it was ever clearly communicated to Louis or even planned to go through with the entire pregnancy and have the baby born from the beginning. I personally believe that from Briana’s side, they were more than happy to be along for the ride and stay in the spotlight for as long as possible, and management might have suggested something like that to them quite early on, as the Briana Tomlinson and baby Tomlinson URLs had been around at a very early point in the time line already - however, once it was clear that a baby would be born, and paraded as his child, as they saw that even the pregnancy news did very little to convince people that Louis was A Heterosexual, they seemed to push for the full blown execution of the baby-having-business.

Even though Louis managed to sabotage any narrative of a “Happy Couple Expecting a Baby” by calling the paps to Glastonbury where he was holding hands with Tamara Bell, management kept pushing the narrative of Louis and Briana getting back/staying together non-stop (which made it all so messy and confusing to the gp and fandom) and even engagement rumours were seeded.

This culminated in OTRA Belfast being cancelled on 20 October 2015, where Louis did babygate interviews all day long and that “Baby [Boy/Girl] Tomlinson Is Born” was accidentally published early - I believe, this is where Louis found out for sure they were after all planning to go through with the whole birth and him being a father, and not limiting the stunt to a “pregnancy,” and he & Harry and the other boys put their foot down and walked out. He went on and leaked Home that night, and almost exactly a month later he had Danielle Campbell as his new girlfriend introduced - I believe he sought out a beard / PR girlfriend as insurance to not get dragged further into any marriage/relationship stunts with Briana (also the reason why they worked and looked so well together, she was the only beard he ever chose for himself instead of management - and she meant autonomy, something positive, to him).

But can you see how he’s working the chess board, how he’s sacrificing one thing to gain another? How he’s creative and finding solutions to these situations, to get the best possible outcome for Harry and himself from these dilemmas? How he’s utilising what he learned from being in the middle of the storm of the music industry? All the tricks and hacks? How he - even back then - used clothes and double meanings to signal (The Future Is Now shirt, the only shirt ever he re-wore (two days in a row!) on stage - precisely the two shows he called the baby doll thrown on stage a fake baby, and the other one when Harry put the balloon under his shirt during Little White Lies on the day exactly three weeks before the One Conception article?). How he’d learned to manipulate the media? Instrumentalising that horrible “fan” phone call where a deranged person is threatening a literal baby (regardless whether you think it’s real or fake), he highly publicised it at precisely the perfect moment, exactly 6 months after we got the first real pap photos of Freddie - coincidentally also the limit to employ infant actors per year in California, he uses the phone call to plead for privacy, after a bazillion planned pap walks, and making the fandom self police and create a taboo about the topic babygate so they’d quiet down, that it wouldn’t get talked about, questioned and brought up as much anymore and he could put it to sleep for now (-- worked really well, didn’t it? /s).

He knows fandom dynamics, he knows what we talk about, he knows what the different sub bubbles of the fandom like antis, solos, twarries and larries need and he also knows he can trust us, larries, to have his back throughout all of that, picking up on his signalling and sticking around for his true self.

The Quiet Years

By now we’re in late 2016. Louis is an established dad, he’s throughout has signalled he’s not happy with the stunt but he is going along with it - he’s signalled with clothes, with songs recommended (like the Devlin Album or Daddy Cool), he’s referenced FRIENDS with the Sunglass Hut, follows people with paternity scandals on social media, and he’s flatout leaked and protested. 

print!Louis has explicitly not taken a paternity test, and he’s taken Briana to court approximately 28 times over custody, while he actually has never done that, and he’s paying less than $6k in child support each month as a multi millionaire.

So why did he not end it then?

First of all. Jay passed in December that year, may she forever rest in peace. I don’t even want to think about it too much, I will never be able to fathom the pain of this loss. And he still went through with his first single.

I think it is important to remember why he even agreed to do it in the first place: it was to make a coming out possible for Harry, without outing Larry in the process. By now, there’s such a gigantic heap of lies by and about a lot of important people connected to a Larry coming out accumulated, it would already be incredibly difficult to manage a coming out on it’s own - and now make it a move that won’t destroy both their careers: I don’t think the world / industry was ready for that in 2017 (or is today, if I am being honest). So. We always have to consider what Harry is doing and how gay Harry is, to see if an end is possible for babygate. So obviously, Harry didn’t come out as bi, and I believe it had to do with him signing with Jeff and Jeff doing a 180° turn, pouring honey into his ears to delay a coming out until he’s established as a solo artist, turning up the Hendall heat almost immediately. And we all know, that Harry trust(ed) Jeff, so there was no coming out at that point (they told me that the end is near, always running from the bullets, we never knew we were here before...)

So. In January, Douis break up and Louis gets back with Eleanor, and jets off to Jamaica, where Harry is also spotted. 

Harry kicks off his solo career with his first solo performance in May 2017, while Louis dives back into work, announcing Back To You for July 2017 and deals with his grief on top of that. And guess what gets dusted off for promo season? Yep, suddenly Louis remembers he has a son. It is funny, just a little bit, that every single tweet, insta post and interview mention about Freddie is always in close proximity to a release. I made a fancy google calendar to visualise it, and it is so clear - usually he mentions him about 6 weeks before something gets announced, and then during promo for the Announced Thing. Like for Just Like You which gets released in October 2017, and then the same for Miss You early December 2017. Louis keeps signalling, with the Billie Jean shirt and the Just Like You music video, while Harry gets a big scary demon bee tattooed and sings Kiwi thrice on the three year anniversary of the One Conception Article.

The entirety of 2018, Freddie is basically non-existent - Louis also isn’t putting anything out. He’s in the studio a lot, and besides the recycled and rerecycled Carbon Copy Article that periodically gets published every two months, there’s nothing in that year. 

Then, first Freddie postings happen again beginning of 2019, and guess what - Louis announces the release of Two Of Us. For the promo interviews, Freddie gets dusted off again. Louis releases the TOU music video the day before International Day Against Homophobia.

So why did he not end it and ride the publicity wave for Walls? I think there are a few different reasons why not. For starters, Harry released Fine Line, a very very gender and queer album around the same time. I don’t think Louis wanted to overshadow it with Babygate stuff. Secondly - maybe Louis wanted to see if he could pull off Walls without having to use the promo from a scandal, to prove to himself he could make it as a solo artist, too. I also think the push pull behind the scenes with Syco was coming to a head at that time. Shitty promo, no faith in him as an artist, and their past... Focus on one fight at a time - free himself from the people who were responsible for that horrible closet in the first place, then get rid of the collateral damage. And finally: the End needs proper preparation to be pulled off with minimal damage to Louis’ career and his loved ones. It is a huge pile of lies, and he needs to be disentangled from it with a delicate plan and patience. With all the factors behind the scenes being unsure, it is difficult to create a plan that will need at least a year to be executed if you don’t know who will be on your team next month.

The End - Attempt #1

I believe with the release of Walls, they started to execute the plan to end it after LTWT and to use the scandal to push visibility for LT2. They had announced the tour end of October 2019, and Walls was released 31 January 2020 like a lil birthday present for H - and that’s where they started the groundwork for Babygate to end: an album sporting a handwritten note, dedicating it to his littleladfreddie, missing any and all songs about fatherhood, or the joy and struggles of having a child. 

Why? Because in order to End It, they have to make the fandom and gp think he’s the most devoted Daddy of all times, so that when the news hit that he turns out to not be the father after all, having taken that way overdue DNA paternity test, everyone will believe him that he really believed he was the dad to littleladfreddie and that he’s actually a victim of the scammer Briana.

They make the groundwork for that, too, in May 2020 - two months after having to push LTWT back to August because of Covid. There’s several articles of Briana dating Brody Jenner (of the Kardashian Jenner clan, yes) purely to get her back into the limelight, to make her interesting for the public, for it to make sense why it has to be in the papers what she’s doing. Between May and September there’s at least (!!) 22 articles about Briana dating Brody, to then have a BUA and immediately, and then, three weeks later, in October, we get Boobiegate - painting an image of scammer!Briana, with a sugar daddy literally telling Louis in an open letter that he hopes she didn’t scam him, too. Oof, what a story!

So why did it not end then? Why did it go quiet for the entirety of the first half of 2021?

Covid. Louis had to push back his tour, again - this time to 2022. It pretty much coincides exactly with the first article coming out about Briana and Brody - this part of the plan was already in motion. And remember, Louis is playing the long game. Making it googleable that Briana is a scammer, it’s not a bad thing if it’s already longer ago than just one promo cycle - makes it look more organic. Boobiegate was important groundwork - but not actually a sign it would end within a couple of months of it. So they pulled it off, the whole boobiegate thing unravels until the end of November, and then it goes very, very quiet. They pushed back the tour by a whole 10 months, so until then - sit and wait. We have almost zero activity from Louis between January and June 2021 - except for some Euros and studio content.

The End - Attempt #2

The next attempt gets kicked off with a “Briana topless article” in June, the day after we get Louis and Freddie at an empty arcade, super recognisable and Louis in full on babygate gear and a two days later Briana refollows Louis on instagram. The fandom goes wild - aww daddy content, especially after Louis poses with little Louies for photos!

September it picks up again: Louis starts to heavily signal with clothes (in the afhf, Obituary, Beatles, sunglasses,...) and then is seen in LA, assumendly seeing Freddie. 

October, Louis gets seen clubbing with Annas (key player during babygate seeding in 2015) wearing his H shirt.

November, we get the Bentley push: facetime where he calls over Freddie to talk to Bentley. The mum herself describes how Louis took a week to find the best time slot to call - in the mean time he flew to LA and honestly, he’s so great, he loves his fans so much that he takes out time from his precious son-daddy visit to call a fan up! so thoughtful. He then gets spotted in LA with Freddie, again in full babygate gear (grateful dead “steal your face” shirt and bbg sunglasses!) and Daisy posts a photo of Louis with Freddie.

December: Louis likes babyphotos of friends, and poses with other friend and their baby while wearing a Lacoste crewneck with a huge alligator on it (baby-gator anyone?). Then: christmas and birthday with a 10 £ cake from m&s, and a Freddie within the Tomlinsons who sticks out like a sore thumb. we accidentally get an instagram video of Louis telling Freddie he looks just like him (carbon copy steal your face gasp) with his lips etc. Freddie poses with a surf board Louis gifted him that’s called DNA. Louis wears Beatles again.

January 2022: Louis congratulates his 6 year old son in a tweet. at half nine pm. but freddie goes to bed at 7 doesnt he louis and Daisy posts carbon copy post of Louis and Freddie

February 2022: Louis sees an opportunity and takes it: has the tourbus stop for a little Louie hislittleladfreddie’s age, and in front of hundreds of phones filming him, he tells him he’s got a son just like him (cue aaaaw daddy Louis)

March 2022: Louis gives Freddie a shout out during his LA show, no one gets it, so he does it again. before all of this, he tells Charlie where to film (we’ll get it in the documentary to make it real y’all) he’s spotted on a daddy son day out at Santa Monica pier

Throughout the rest of tour, the intensity and frequency of signalling through clothes get more and more, Louis wears beatles, bbg sunglasses, and: starts wearing chequers and following F1 accounts, joining F1 & DNA spaces on Twitter ensuing in the Chequered Flag Theory, signals with playlists and likes and follows and more while posing with as many 6 year old kids as possible, specifically requesting to be photographed next to them. He starts signalling about September.

June: his new merch is influenced by Dalí, who’s latest publicity came from a postmortem dna test proving the child claimed to be his wasn’t his after all.

He wears Lacoste and Palace (=Queen=Freddie Reign) and chequers almost non stop.

July: Louis messages Bentley’s mum on Twitter (after her proving to share absolutely everything for clicks and engagement) to tell her he loves his son

August: his new Album is announced: Faith In The Future. Reminds a lot of the Future Is Now shirt. Louis (and Harry!) use a lot of 7s. As in 7 years are enough?

September: LT2 Promo starts. There’s an onslaught of melittleladfreddie, see this post.

Conclusion

So. Here we are. I just wanted to explain how this time it’s different, by explaining the reasons and context of bbg related things happening in the past. that the things that are usually being called on to prove “he talked about freddie before” or “there were patterns before” are true, but they were in a different context.

so on the one hand, you’re right - we’ve sort of been here before, in 2019/2020 when they initially wanted to end it, but no one could predict covid would happen, so they had to adjust their plans. and it’s the same for this now: I am absolutely sure it will end. and if it doesn’t, it means there’s a reason they had to change plans again. remember, they have to consider Harry as well. and something shit like covid can always happen, as we’ve learned. doesn’t make freddie any more related to him though. I think this is truly the first opportunity for him to safely end it. 

sorry this got so long, but honestly, it IS complicated and complex and i simplified it A LOT. if you have specific questions, feel free to inbox me!

To the end, my friends - Faith In The Future!

[drvscarlett]

Sweet Nothings (2)

Carlos Sainz x pageant queen!reader

Summary: All that they ever wanted was sweet nothings but everything changed like midnight rain.

Sweet Nothings: 1, 2, 3. 4

A/N: i indulged a lot with catriona so expect a lot of her faces. i like to build up things hehe.let me know your thoughts

YNjpeg posted a photo.

Liked by CarlosSainz55, LewisHamilton, and 543,456 others

YNjpeg thank you for the opportunity for the roundtable to discuss different issues faced by our society [link]

User4 the way she speaks says a lot about her character

User6 I dont need to see any other queen, Y/N is my Miss Universe 2024.

User7 i never knew Y/N is this knowledgeable

User9 right?? i mean before we all knew her as just Carlos' partner User10 is it bad for me to say that i think Carlos and Y/N break up is a good thing? User9 true bestie.

LewisHamilton Wonderful insights, thank you for using your voice!

YNjpeg honored to be appreciated by you Lew! LewisHamilton 👑☝️ User12 real recognize real!

User55 anyone notice that carlos is still liking?

User90 omg i just noticed that! User77 my divorced parents

F1News posted an article.

Carlos Sainz sits down talking about championships, end of contracts, and relationships.

The hottest topic in the paddock at the moment has been Carlos Sainz. He is the driver that has been to watch out for as he becomes the El Matador that crushes Red Bull's streak of victory. The soon to be ex-Ferrari driver thanks the team for building a good car and creating new strategy that allowed them to best Red Bull several times already.

It was no surprise that him and teammate, Charles Leclerc has been chasing Max down for the championship. When asked about how does he deal with the pressure, he mentioned that he kept himself grounded by a note tucked inside of his helmet. He said that the content of the notes cannot be discussed (as well as the writer of the note) but he is very grateful for it for keeping him in touch with reality. The Spaniard is currently sitting at the second place with only 2 points difference from the current champion.

"It has not yet been decided" this is what Carlos has to say regarding where he would sign next. Carlos assures everyone that there are offers but he is still weighing which will be a better option. His focus at the moment was not on the signing because as he states "if I'm a good driver then the offers will just keep coming." He wishes to focus on doing his best with his current team and reiterates that he has no ill feelings with the team.

Another hot topic that Carlos was asked about is regarding his love life. There were rumors about his split with long-time girlfriend and now running for Miss Universe, Y/N L/N. Carlos explained how he is very proud of Y/N and that he wishes all the best for her. He refused to answer questions detailing more about her since he explains that "focus on Y/N as a beauty queen and not because of her relationship. She deserves more than just being someone's girlfriend."

CarlosY/N4ever

CarlosY/N4ever me realizing that Miss Universe 2024 and the Las Vegas Grand Prix is happening together???!!!

User5 wdym together???

CarlosY/N4ever It will both happen in the 24th,the gp will go first at 2pm while the Miss Universe will start at 6pm. User5 OHMYGOD????

User7 So are we going to watch miss universe or f1???

User8 Im gonna watch both User9 rip to us with a different timezone

User10 i love how we can use Y/N's reactions for this

User11 girlie is a walking meme User13 walking meme but still elegant

User19 SO WILL THE GRID BE WATCHING????

User22 what is barbenheimer when we have this going on!!!

QueenYNUpdates just posted a reel

Well my gowns and my costumes have been carefully selected. Everything has a meaning. It is an homage for my country and of course to the best parts of myself. [Can we have any more insights about your evening gown] All I can say is that I want to make Filipinos proud and the color has a very personal meaning.

User10 Im excited to see her final look!

User12 agreeeee,her attention to details is everything!

User7 Our filipina queen! PERIODT!

User13 the color has a very personal meaning + that smile.. anyone wanted to bet with me that its ferrari red???

User15 I might cry if its really red User18 and its carlos' last year to ferrari as well User90 I just want to have a good time on this app

User55 Go fight for the crown!!!! Bring home the crown!!!

QueenYNUpdates posted a reel

[What can you say about your relationship with Carlos, everyone is curious about what happened] This is the only time, I'll talk about this. If you are looking for drama, there is no drama between the two of us. Carlos and I met when we were still young people and we grew up together. We matured as individuals..Its not a bad thing. I am extremely happy and proud of where he is right now. Were both chasing our dreams. What we are, what have been. Its all good. That's all that I have to say.

User5 This basically confirms it.

User6 we are really children of divorce

User7 CARLOS GET HER BACK, ITS NOT TOO LATE

User8 YEAH SHE IS NOT YET MISS UNIVERSE User9 BRO DON'T LET HER GO CarlosSainz55

User11 Its the miss universe curse. If the girl really wants the crown then they will undergo heartbreak

User14 why do we have to sacrifice someone?? User15 so miss universe is just like ferrari strategy? here we sacrifice a boyfriend, in ferrari we sacrifice leclerc User17 that comment got me gagged.

YNjpeg posted a photo

liked by CarlosSainz55, LandoNorris, and 876,525 others

YNjpeg I am ready to represent!!! Flying to Vegas!!!

Charles_Leclerc goodluck Miss Philippines!!

YNjpeg thank you charlieee

LandoNorris can't wait to see you take the crown

YNjpeg lando you believe in me too much LandoNorris I SAID take the crown!!! YNjpeg ON IT!

User5 im so happy that she is still being supported by the grid

User67 bring home the crown Y/N!

User8 Mark my words, she will come back with the crown!

User9 safe flight!!!

CarlosSainz55 just posted a photo.

CarlosSainz55 You always hated flying. You told me that there is a certain discomfort and uncertainty when you are a thousand feet from the ground. Right now, you are flying. I know it has a certain discomfort and uncertainty of what's to come but I believe you can find some joy in it.

You will always be the most beautiful in the universe.

User7 OMG????

User6 CARLOS I WAS UNFAMILIAR WITH YOUR GAME

User8 bro really went to tell the whole world that he will be here no matter what

User15 were always talking about how Y/N is Carlos' biggest fan but Carlos is also Y/N's biggest fan

User17 ITS TOO ERALY TO CRY

CarlosSainz55 just deleted the post.

[ineffable-suffering]

Why Aziraphale is an unreliable narrator

Part 1: The Story of Job

I'm absolutely not the first one to talk about this on here and I probably shan't be the last either. Alas, here's my take on why all of the minisodes in Season 2 should be enjoyed with great care – and taken with a grain of angelic salt.

I'm gonna split this into 3 parts, aka the three minisodes we are shown, since I tend to get a bit waffley in my posts and want to still be able to include all the little details. Once I've written them, I'll link Part 2 & Part 3 here as well!

Alright, let's get into it under the cut of doom.

Episode 2 opens with the Story of Job. Right off the bat, I noticed that it sort of looks like an old film playing. At first I didn't read that much into it, but once we see the cut-away to Aziraphale at the bookshop, currently reading that part of the Bible (presumably), I immediately thought: "Oh! It's because it's his memory. He's remembering how it went down and therefore it plays like a figurative film in his head."

This, I then came to realize, is a very crucial difference to all the flashbacks of S1, which were exclusively told and narrated by God. May her intensions be as ineffable as they are: She did tell us all of these stories from an objective outsider's point of view. Now, however, it's Aziraphale who's re-telling those stories to us from memory.

And if there's one thing that's for certain, it's that a memory is something entirely different to an objective narration of a story. Just think about how you yourself remember things. Especially things that happened years, maybe even decades (or, in an angel's case, millenia) ago. What is it, that you really remember? Can you know for sure, that a conversation was held with those exact words? Are you 100% certain that the clothes someone wore weren't different? Had it really been snowing or would that make very little sense given what you're remembering happened in May? And did it even happen in May? Or does that just happen to be your favourite month, the current weather, your preferred style of clothing and what it was that you would imagine someone would have said to you?

What I'm trying to say is: The further away it is that something happened, the more your brain has to fill in the gaps. This is why, for example, your parents will remember the family summer holiday entirely different when you ask them about it 20 years later.

"No, it was Sarah who puked on the car ride home!" "Nonsense, Sarah never puked as a child. Bobby had that gone-off pizza, he's the one that was sick the whole ride long!"

We've all been there. Bobby made it out alive. Don't buy gas station pizza.

Alright, back to the plot: Naturally, Aziraphale is not actually human, so it is a pure assumption on my part that the way his memory works is similar to ours. However, the whole topic of "memory" is actually quite a recurring one on Good Omens.

Crowley seems to have lost his in the Fall, yet somehow managed to get most of it back. Not all of it, though, he clearly has some major gaps ("You used to jump on me back, little monkey in the waistcoat!"). Beelzebub helps Gabriel store all his memories in their little fly container before they get wiped entirely too, by the Metatron and/or Saraqael. Crowley and Aziraphale (and possibly Jimbriel) perform a miracle together that makes everyone in Heaven and Hell forget who Garbiel is or what he looks like. And we know that the Book of Life apparently has the ability to completely erase someone from existence – ergo also erasing them from everyone's memory and making it is as though the person had never been in them at all.

So, clearly, angels and demons being able to remember, forget, reconstruct and, if you're the Metadork, wipe memories, is very much canon. Apart from that very last one, it does make them quite human-like in a way. We too can forget or (wrongfully and incompletely) reconstruct memories, due to things like trauma, illness or simply a lot of time having passed.

So, just like Crowley remembers going into battle but doesn't remember Furfur being there, or just like Jimbriel has entierly forgotten who he is but still remembers the tune and lyrics to Buddy Holly's song Everyday, and just like archangel Michael was miraculously made to forget Gabriel and yet says "Don't I know you?" when seeing him again – just like that, Aziraphale's memories of the story of Job, the story of wee Morag and the story of the magic show in 1941, might not actually be the whole truth.

So, time to look at where the furniture isn't.

Now, it could very well be that the costume designers of S2 thought: "Fuck it, let's go crazy" – but given that this show has a track record of meticulously making sure to stick to accurate and cohesive character design, doesn't it strike you as odd that Crowley would go from this look at the Flood in Mesopotamia, 3004 BC:

... to the (very iconic, don't get me wrong) Bildad the Shuhuite drip in 2500 BC:

... back to this at the crucifixion of Jesus Christ in 33 AD:

I mean ... I mean– come on, that seems like a bit of a far stretch, even for someone as enthusiastically experimental with fashion as Crowley.

And it's not just that: Where did the sunglasses come from, all of a sudden? And why do they look like some sort of obscure, ancient optometrist's device? It's a known historical fact that the Romans were the ones to have invented sunglasses, somewhere around 50-ish AD. Which actually matches perfectly with when Crowley and Aziraphale meet again in Rome 8 years after the crucifixion (51 AD).

So, where do the weird spectacles come from, over 2000 years too early? Maybe from Aziraphale's brain filling in some gaps? Hasn't Crowley always worn those ridiculous sunglasses? Was it Rome? Or Golgotha? Wessex? Oh, blimey, what does it matter!

And it's not just Crowley: Aziraphale's own clothes, as well as the other angels', seem to be very different from the rather plain linen we see him wear before and after the story of Job.

They're laced with golden embroidery along the neckline and sleeves. The remind almost of the clothes angels are depicted wearing in biblical and historical drawings. Ornate and decadent. Not at all like we see Aziraphale in the other flashbacks of S1.

Even Bildad the Shuhite's hair within the minisode keeps changing, going from all pouffy and voluminous to rather deflated and straight-looking:

The costume department either had to fix up two seperate wigs or manually straighten out the volume of the one again to give it a more sleek look. I'm not a professional in this field, but if there's anything I've learned from watching hours of behind-the-scenes material of movies and shows, it's that very little about costume, character, prop and set design is purely coincidental.

You know what it could be, though? An accurate representation of how memories aren't linear, historically correct and objective representations of a certain event, but rather an ever-changing, jumbled mess of impressions, emotions and exaggerations.

More specifically: Aziraphale's impression, emotions and exaggerations.

Like "remembering" Crowley with sunglasses because he's been wearing them for so long.

Like "remembering" himself wearing more luxurious, angelic clothes because that's how he thinks of the difference between Heaven and Hell.

Like "remembering" the permit as a ridiculously long scroll that folded out over an entire valley.

Like "remembering" Job's children to be weirdly sassy in an almost Aziraphale-esque way (Enon: "Don't be silly!") for the fact that Job would have probably taught them to be more humble and obedient in the presence of a literal angel.

Like "remembering" eating an entire fucking Ox after having just one bite of it while Crowley watched him lustfully, sipping on his wine.

Like "remembering" Crowley calling him 'angel', despite them having barely known each other back then.

There's a reason why the flashbacks in S2 seem so much more alive, quirky and, at many points, confusing and all over the place. Because they're not objective stories being told by a third party. They're Aziraphale's. So much of his own thoughts and feelings at the time get projected onto them because that's simply how memory works!

It's subjective. It's unrealiable.

It's not that I'm calling Aziraphale a liar. He's no more a liar than your parents are, mixing up Sarah and Bobby. Or you, remembering snow instead of sunshine. Memories aren't lies. They can simply be faulty, focus on things that you thought were more important and leaving out or changing things that weren't, to you.

The real challenge in all of this, is trying to filter through Aziraphale's stories to see what it actually is they're telling us. Where it is that the furniture isn't. And I think in this case, that's 6 main things (eff you, God, I know you like sevens, but I don't care):

God and Satan (still) talk to each other We see that Aziraphale is quite surprised when Muriel mentions that the whole Job thing is God's bet with Satan. But clearly, despite having made him and the rest fall, God still converses with Her number one traitor about whether or not the humans simply love Her because she gives them nice things or because they truly believe in Her.

God and Satan (and Heaven and Hell) can and do collaborate with each other when they feel like it So much for choosing sides, huh? Truthfully, this is not the first time this is shown to us, but still. It's another piece of evidence on the growing pile.

Aziraphale understands the World and humans way better than any of the other angels "Well, you see ... Citis is 58 ..."

Aziraphale, despite having troubles voicing it, absolutely disagrees and even condemns God's plan of destroying Job's children (and goats and camels and––)

Aziraphale is willing to lie and thwart the will of God Also not the first time we're being shown this but again, piiiile of evidence.

Angels don't automatically Fall simply by doing the above To me, this is one of the most important take aways. It's already hinted in S1 as well that 'Falling' seems to have been a one time even back when the first war broke out in Heaven. And I actually believe that ever since then, no other angels have Fallen again. Aziraphale is the best example for this. He has gone against God's plan numerous times and even lied to her very face (voice?) about it. And yet, nothing ever happened to him. Why exactly that is the case remains a topic for another meta (that I might or might not be working on already, teehee).

Alright, that concludes this first look at the Job minisode! If there's anything I missed, feel free to share it with me. I'll try and add Part 2 (the story of wee Morag) and Part 3 (the magic show of 1941) soon.

Update: Part 2 and Part 3 have officially been written, you can find it them right here:

Part 2: The Story of wee Morag

Part 3: The Story of the Magic Show in 1941

Hugs and kisses, (God)!

[the-s1lly-corner]

*explodes into your request box*

HEY HEY HEY, im back.

Came to ask an platonic Child!reader with the rest of the gang.

BUT HEAR ME OUT

Child reader is like an wolf in sheep's clothing, like reader has an cute expression on their face but when someone tries to touch them, they'll go like: "touch me and ill rip your hand off" in a full innocent voice and that cute smile.

And child reader has shark teeth.

Tyy!

*explodes*

- 🦭

The cast x child!reader (platonic)

throwing this together after waking up from a really nice nap! i still have the kinger request to work on but my brains still stumped.. sobs.. requests are still open by the way! you can find the link to my rules in my previous post, or you can look in my pinned! :O apologies if some sections for the characters are a little short, my brains still a lil okfvokffvovf from waking up TToTT

CAINE:

a child? in the circus?

he doesnt quite know how to make of it, i mean... its not like he has to make any accommodations, the circus is a place for all ages afterall!

i give you this new concept: dad caine

lightly scolds you when you threaten someone, bad manners!

i think he would be like a stereotypical eccentric dad

in house adventures seem to tone down just a touch so theyre not too intense or dangerous for you, keeps an eye on you to make sure you dont get stuck anywhere or flung across the room

rip bubble, you probably pop them when theyre within a foot of you

pinches your cheek only to have his hand comically chomped off ("now now (reader)! what did i tell you about biting! time out!)

POMNI:

similar confusion that caine has, but like, more so

how did a kid even get their hands on one of the headsets??

honestly i think pomni might be the type to be uncomfortable around kids; she doesnt hate them she just doesnt know what to do with them

also kids can possess a different kind of cruelness when they really put their minds to it and shes already in a mentally precarious position as it is

she doesnt avoid you though!

was bitten a grand total of one times, she made the mistake of trying to take you somewhere during an IHA and she didnt make you aware that she was going to put her hand on your shoulder

JAX:

okay you cant swear in the circus, but i feel like jax has some very creative ways to work around that, making these new colorful euphemisms that dont skip out on the crudeness. he teaches you some of his favorites just to watch the world burn

lightning fast reflexes, should you try to bite or hit him; not that hes going to try to put his hands on you

actually

i can see him picking you up via scooping his hands under your arms, or literally just holding you up by the scruff of your next

congrats theres now the image of jax holding a flailing sheep child in our heads. his shins will be kicked in the second you get put down

thinks its funny when people have to do double takes when you let out a threat or say something dark

RAGATHA:

i think she would be a cool babysitter, or big sister figure to you

similar to caine she will lightly scold you when you're being 'rude'

doesnt try to figure out why you dont like being touched, also respects it. respects your space as well, she doesnt totally baby you

she is a little sad that a kid so young got stuck in the digital world, though

even if you could remember things, i dont think she would ask out of fear of possibly upsetting you

likes making you little things (small pillows, plushes, ect) since i can see her being into sewing.. might be because shes a doll, though

KINGER:

i said it once and ill say it again, kinger is dad. like i already hc he had kids before getting stuck in the digital world, but i also like to hc that he and gangle have a dad/kid relationship, at least when kinger was less... paranoid

like he still has the capacity to be a father figure to you, but i think with you being a little... ermrmfl.. he might be a little put off

tells you stories about "being a king" (ie embellishing the one time he was put in charge during an IHA ages ago) and tells you about some previous in house adventures

youre so short he genuinely doesnt see you approaching sometimes so he either gets jumpscared by you or literally trips over you on accident

is so so apologetic once he gets over the initial shock of suddenly meeting the floor

really if you follow this guy around and show interest in his interests hes gonna adopt you

he knows your threats arent empty, even if they arent hes not going to try to find out

ZOOBLE:

zooble seems like the type of person to find some vague amusement in kids swearing or saying out of pocket stuff, i cant explain why

cant teach you swear words thanks to the censoring of the digital world but hey... they can still spell it out...

honestly i hc that zooble themselves doesnt like being touched so hey you dont have to worry about that, they personally get it

cool older sibling energy. while ragatha gives off sweet n caring older sister, zooble gives off the energy of a cool older sibling who like. idfk skateboards or something

zooble skateboarding real

not much else to say here

GANGLE:

similar to pomnis but this is more so because gangle is intimidated by other people thanks to her shyness!

i think gangle would be in the same boat as you and zooble, in terms of touching, but in gangles case its because shes made of ribbon and thus can be pushed around very easily

would cry on the off chance you snap at her :(

she lets you into her room sometimes to let you draw with her! kids like drawing right?

thats her reasoning, at least

i mean hey, it gives you something to do and gives you a break from all the chaos

actually pretty okay when her comedy mask isnt broken, actually makes an attempt to properly get to know you and crack a few jokes

[whileyoureinschoolidothisallday]

◇𓂂☽𓂂🐚Arisa Cliche's Wips for Gaza! 🐚𓂂☾𓂂◇

Hi, hi friends! @ficsforgaza has started a charity event and I'd really like to participate, so I've decided to start a sponsorship page! Right now, I'm only writing for MHA and Obey Me!, but I have enough fics brewing or in progress that you'll have plenty a selection!

How this works ~ The rate is $1 for 100 words. Basically, you would make a donation and send me an ask with the following details:

🍉 The name of the wip you're donating towards

🍉 A screenshot of your donation with your private info censored (I will not be publishing these asks)

🍉 A link to the fundraiser you chose! I will be accepting donations to anything on this list, Crips for eSims for Gaza, and my personal fave!

I will keep the WIP section of this post updated with all donations as soon as possible!

Now...let's get to the WIPS!!!!!

⋆⛧*┈┈┈┈﹤୨♡୧﹥ ┈┈┈┈*⛧⋆⋆⛧*┈┈┈┈﹤୨♡୧﹥ ┈┈┈┈*⛧⋆⋆⛧*┈┈┈┈﹤୨♡୧

MHA✼ ҉　✼

{In Progress}

⚝ Bury my Ashes at Sea (Touya "Dabi" Todoroki x Reader) (Longfic)

You and Dabi have been broken up for some time now, but you're still the only person he wants to see before he takes his final bow. With your grieving face still fresh in his mind, he can't help but wonder how things would be different if you two met when you were kids. In his daydreams, he gifts you a Quirk, and you both go to U.A together. He becomes a hero, and you his adored engineer. When everything inevitably goes to hell...you become a villain with him. A villain he names Hex. Content: Hero!AU, female reader, childhood friends to lovers, mutual pining, established relationship, post break-up, angst, reader is physically disabled and chronically ill and has an established backstory, non-explicit sexual content in later chapters, very very lovesick and typically obsessive Touya, Sad Ending Snippet:

est wc: 55k current wc: 22707 sponsored wc: 0/32293

{New Concepts}

♪Unnamed (Touya Todoroki x Siren!Reader) (Oneshot)

The eldest Todoroki boy is found adrift at sea. Covered in burns from head to toe, but somehow still breathing. He was missing for days. The accident should've killed him. No one knows how he survived. The town praises it as a miracle. But when Rei notices that he suddenly keeps sneaking to the ocean in the middle of the night, and hums a disjointed melody when no one else is around, she begins to suspect that it was no miracle that saved her son. Content: Fantasy!AU, horror concept, Touya is being claimed by a Siren but Rei is not willing to give up her son, VERY inspired by some of the things I wrote in Bury My Ashes at Sea so there might be similar imagery, reader's gender is simply not planned to be mentioned, sfw, Rei's POV est wc: 10-13k current wc: 0 sponsored wc: 500/13000

🧛🏽Unnamed 2 (Touya Todoroki x Vampire!Reader)

Touya doesn't know a kind of love where he doesn't hurt. He prides himself in it, really. He's perfect for you. You bite him and he doesn't feel it. He's already covered in bandages from his Quirk, so no one notices a difference. And if he's a little extra dizzy or laid up in bed, who cares? He's always been a little sickly. No one notices. Don't worry about him. You tell him how good he tastes and he doesn't think he's ever felt so alive in his life. He lets you take as much as you want. See, you don't need other, stronger humans. He can take it. This is what love is. He'll never tell you to stop. Not even when he can't feel his fingers anymore. Just don't pick someone else. Content: Fantasy!AU, GN!reader where I would try to keep specific body mentions very limited, Bratty Needy Touya, Quirks still exist but so do monsters because why not, Civilian Touya who never had his accident, this has potential for nsfw I could be persuaded! est wc: 7-10k current wc: 0 sponsored wc: 0/10000

⋆⛧*┈┈┈┈﹤୨♡୧﹥ ┈┈┈┈*⛧⋆⋆⛧*┈┈┈┈﹤୨♡୧﹥ ┈┈┈┈*⛧⋆⋆⛧*┈┈┈┈﹤୨♡୧

Obey Me! ʚ♡ɞ

{In Progress}

💖Love Is A Liar's Game (All of the Brothers + Diavolo and Solomon x Three OCs) (Longfic. Like...very long. Covers at least the first two seasons)

When Diavolo announces the plan for a human exchange program, the Charas, MC, Y/N, and OC (real names redacted), see it as the perfect opportunity to pull off the ultimate scam: seducing the rulers of hell and taking the throne. However...falling in love with their marks might complicate things. Content: Religious cults, drug use, the Charas are Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss incarnate, toxic relationships, polyamory (each of the Charas date three boys), humor, disabled mc (OC), plus-size mc (Y/N), and non-binary mc (MC), some angst here and there, mostly canon compliant but I fix some things, explicit content eventually...the first chapter is already posted on ao3 so please read my author's note to get an idea of what to expect! Snippet:

est wc: over 100k easy current wc: 6816 (the 2nd chapter is almost done!) sponsored wc: 0/120000

🍬Touch-starved (Beelzebub x OC) (oneshot)

This is a companion piece to Love is a Liar's Game. Beel's Gluttony is not restricted to only food. He's avoided even kissing OC to prevent himself from becoming a bottomless pit for her love, which has ruined plenty of his relationships prior. But when her and Belphie finally become intimate, and his brother can't stop talking about her (or keep his hands off her), a strange, sour taste won't leave his mouth. It's jealousy. (If this is donated to completion I will also post the Belphie oneshot I already finished, Breathless!)

Content: Post-Chapter 16, pining, explicit sexual content, oral reference (m), recreational alcohol, submissive beel, use of pact during sex, tiny bit of angst for flavor, typical humor for this fic universe, lots of pet names between these two lol

Snippet:

est wc: 15k current wc: 9909 (it's almost done!!!!!!!!!!!) sponsored wc: 0/15000

⋆⛧*┈┈┈┈﹤୨♡୧﹥ ┈┈┈┈*⛧⋆⋆⛧*┈┈┈┈﹤୨♡୧﹥ ┈┈┈┈*⛧⋆⋆⛧*┈┈┈┈﹤୨♡୧

If y'all have any further questions, please let me know!!!! Thanks in advance for any and all donations!!!!

From the river to the sea!! 🍉🍉🍉

[uwingdispatch]

Devotion

Devotion

Notes: Brasso/Reader, established relationship, gender neutral reader, post-rebellion/post-war, hurt/comfort, chronically ill/disabled reader

CW: depression/mental health struggles, active shooter

Ao3 Link

★★★★★★★★

“What’s going on?”

You’re in your pajamas, standing at the end of the hallway that leads to your bedroom. It’s 3:00 in the morning and you’ve woken to find Brasso sitting at the kitchen table, fiddling with something in his hands.

Startled, he looks up. “How long have you been standing there?” He asks, running a hand through his dark hair, his grays hidden in the shadows of the dimly-lit room. In this moment there’s a sadness in his eyes that he doesn’t often allow you to see.

“Not long,” you say.. “I woke up and you weren’t there. I had a feeling…”

“I made you anxious,” Brasso says, pushing away from the table. “I’m so sorry, love.”

You insist that you’re fine, but he’s already wrapping his big arms around you and you can’t help but sleepily lean into his embrace.

“I got a message from Wilmon today. Did you know it was the anniversary of Rix Road?”

“I should have remembered.”

“No, darling,” he says, kissing the top of your head. “No, I’d rather not remember that day. Most of it, anyway.”

“Are you all right?” You ask.

“I will be,” he says. “Last time I was on Ferrix, Xanwan’s niece was cleaning up his old store front, getting it ready to sell. She gave me this keyfob of his that she found in a drawer. It’s just a festival trinket from an old holiday but…there are pictures from that day. The old gang, you know? Before I met you, even.”

“You’re thinking about Xan?”

“And everyone who didn’t make it out that day. How things could have gone differently if I’d just—”

“If you’d just what? Let fascists steamroll your entire community? Brasso, people did get out because of you. And I’m sure I’m not the only one you warned away from town that day.”

“You’re not.”

“And you got Wilmon out.”

“I did.”

“Bee. Bix. Jezzi.”

He answers with a sigh.

You step back so you can see your partner’s face, tucking a few strands of hair behind his ear so you can look into his eyes. “You’re one man, Brasso. A very good man, but still just one. How were you going to stop anything that Maarva Andor started?

He laughs a little, remembering the woman who had been so much to so many people. You’d never been a Daughter of Ferrix, but it was Maarva who invited you to join in on some of the community projects anyway. It was people you met through Maarva who had encouraged you to start selling your handmade goods, who had told you how much they’d enjoyed the things you’d made for fundraisers over the years. And it was the Daughters, so many now spread throughout the galaxy, who’d helped you leave Ferrix and find a place on Gatalenta. Who’d told you that Brasso would find you when the war was over, because surely someone knew where he was, even if it wasn’t safe for you to know yet.

In the hallway, Brasso hands you the keyfob. There’s a year etched on the back and it is indeed before you’d met Brasso, but you’d been in town then. Back after finishing your degree, trying to feel out what was next. You’d made jogun fruit jam that year for the festival these pictures were taken at. And you’d only been at the stall for a few hours each day, but in the background of one of the pictures, there you were.

“Brasso,” you say. “That’s me.”

“No kidding,” he says, zooming in. “Beautiful as ever.”

“You can barely see me.”

“I can see enough.” Brasso kisses your forehead, his lips soft and warm on your skin. “Let me get you back to bed, darling. Enough of my troubles for the night. I never should have woken you in the first place.”

“You didn’t wake me,” you remind him.

But he has your hand in his and is leading you back down the hallway to the bedroom, the keyfob left behind.

*

There were a lot of things you loved about Ferrix, but the time grappler had never been one of them. He was a nice enough man, and you didn’t have any quarrel with him personally. But you’d never been a morning person. And nothing about Ferrix was going to change that. You’d occasionally pick up a morning shift at the café where you worked if someone called out and they needed help. But other than that? You needed the rest. So you jammed a pillow over your head while the time grappler struck the beskar steel in the tower at the start of each day until you could go back to sleep.

You’d known Brasso for a few years when he showed up with a basket of fruit a few hours after dawn, banging on your door like the galaxy was collapsing. You crawled out of bed and put on a robe, sure that there was some kind of maintenance emergency in the building.. But when you opened the door, it was Brasso, all two meters of him with a desperate look on his face. And…the fruit.

“What’s wrong?” you asked, the annoyed tone in your voice unmistakable.

“Thank the stars,” he said, pulling you into his arms. “You’re all right.”

“Shouldn’t I be?”

“Someone opened fire at the market this morning. Not even from here…at least nobody I can think of matches his description. Someone called Morlana-1. Corpos showed up and all they managed to do is chase him to the café.”

You knew without asking that he meant your café, and at the word of corpos, you stepped back to let Brasso in. His cheeks were rosy from the early morning cold, his eyes bright, and his work clothes were crisp and tidy before a long day at the salvage yard.

“Is anyone hurt?” you asked.

“There were some injuries at the market,” Brasso said, running a hand through his hair. “But the café…we don’t know yet. They won’t let anyone near the building. I came to see you as soon as I heard.”

You didn’t live far from your work—just a few blocks. And as all of the information you were receiving began to solidify in your brain you felt your nervous system kick into high gear. You tried to steady your breathing as you asked, “What’s with the fruit?”

“The Daughters dropped this off for my mum the other night. But you know how she’s allergic to meilooruns—won’t eat anything that’s touched them out of precaution. I thought I’d leave it for you on my way to work…and then someone commed me about all this…I’m just so glad you’re safe, love.”

This was the first time he’d ever used that term of endearment with you, and you weren’t sure what to make of it, but it warmed something inside of you that you knew you’d never shake, even as you felt yourself giving way to panic.

Brasso pulled you close again. “Hey,” he said. “I’ve got you.”.

It’s all you needed to hear.

“I know you don’t do mornings. I’m so sorry to wake you…I just…they don’t have the guy in custody yet. Do you mind if I stick around for a bit? You don’t carry a blaster and…”

“I’ll make us some caf,” you say, turning toward your little kitchen.

“No,” he said, his hands steady on your shoulders. “You sit down. I’ve thrown off your day, the least I can do is make you breakfast.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“Unless you want to go back to sleep. I can leave if—”

“No,” you said, your breath shaky. And, when he took your hand in his, it felt so right that for a moment you forgot that everything about this morning was unusual. “Stay,” you said. “Please.”

“All right,” he said, his eyes searching yours for something neither of you seemed to quite grasp.

You snapped out of your haze and went to get yourself cleaned up and dressed, allowing yourself in your sleepiness to think thoughts about this man, your closest friend, that normally you pushed away. He was right there, after all. In your kitchen. If you let yourself feel what you felt, if it came burbling out of you in a groggy delirium…you couldn’t bear the thought of anything changing between you. Of losing this closeness. Because somehow it hadn’t occurred to you that he felt those feelings about you, too.

*

You wake to the sound of clattering in the kitchen, a string of curses on Brasso’s tongue. There’s not a lot that can get you out of bed quickly but, after last night, you’re a little worried that he’s not just upset about a broken dish.

You slip into a robe and hurry into the kitchen where you find your husband sweeping up broken glass.

“It’s early, love,” he says when he sees you. “You can go back to sleep.”

“No, I can’t,” you say. “Some anniversaries you just feel in your bones. This is one of those for you.”

Brasso is washing his hands. You can’t tell if he’s ignoring you or if he just doesn’t know what to say.

“Brass?”

“I don’t know why it’s hitting me like this,” he says. “It’s been so long.”

“You told me last night you heard from Wilmon. Is he all right?”

“He is.”

Brasso drops a towel on the counter and you take his hand. You’ve both had more than your fair share of grief. Grief for loved ones lost. For futures that could never be. For safe places that would never feel safe again. And with the Imperial occupation of Ferrix you lost your home as you knew it. But you’d moved there as a teenager. You didn’t have generations of history there like Brasso did. His roots there were different. And when he chose to stay on Gatalenta, it was partly because could never go back to the place he left—not for more than a visit. Because too much had changed for it to feel like home for him.

“Let me make us some caf,” you say.

“Nonsense,” he says. “I’ve spoiled your sleep again, I’ll just—

“Brasso.”

“Okay,” he says, taking a seat at the kitchen table. “I hear you.”

He’s always been the kind of man who takes care of everyone else and struggles to let others take care of him. It’s not that he doesn’t know how to ask for help, it’s that he doesn’t want to burden anyone. Even after all this time, he hesitates to tell you when something is wrong that he thinks he can handle on his own. You usually figure it out anyway, and he usually gives in to your care. But it hasn’t always been easy.

As you grind the caf beans—a blend he’d picked up at the market last week—you think of all those afternoons after you’d first met, when he’d turn up at the cafe on his break. It had been the best part of your day. You’d later learn that he’d been pretty loyal to a caf bar closer to his place until the day he stopped in on his lunch one afternoon and recognized you, the person he’d helped with the spilled groceries just a week or so before. Soon, he was a staple, falling into an easy routine with you. The two of you started taking your breaks together, soon becoming so close that it seemed like you’d always known each other. The first time he walked you home, on a night when the end of your shifts coincided, you had a feeling that maybe—just maybe—when you got to your apartment he was going to kiss you. But the moment passed. And you let yourself push the thought of a romance with Brasso to the back of your mind for the first time.

When you put a cup of caf in front of Brasso today, he takes your hand, bringing it to his lips for a kiss.

“Tell me what you need,” you say.

“Just sit with me, love,” he says. “All I need is you.”

*

Brasso was the kind of man who didn’t know how not to be busy. He’d been in your apartment for all of ten minutes before he’d sliced up some of the fruit to go with eggs and toast for breakfast. You’d known him long enough to know that this was just what he did. When he was upset, he took care of other people. So you should have known that when you’d sleepily mentioned that your refresher sink had been leaking that he was going to have to try and fix it. Now, a few hours later, he was in there with the tools he’d meant to take to work before the trajectory of his day had changed, leading him to you instead.

“You don’t have to do this,” you told him. “I can call the building manager and have him come take care of it.”

“It’s a simple fix,” he said. “I’m almost done.”

It was noon. Word was out that the scene had been cleared at the cafe, luckily with only some minor injuries. But nobody wanted to go out while the corpos were still around. And Brasso hadn’t said anything but you could tell he didn’t want to leave you by yourself either. Ferrix had always watched out for their own, and there was no telling what these off-planet police might do while they were here. Who they might bother. They didn’t know Ferrix and they didn’t like it any more than it liked them. So the streets had emptied. Places of business were closed. And Brasso was still with you.

“Finished,” Brasso called out from the refresher. “Good as…well as good as it was when you moved in here at least,” he said.

Not a lot on Ferrix was brand new. You liked this about your home. When you first came to Ferrix, you hadn’t known what to make of it. But now—now you felt there was something cozy about it. It was comforting to think about all the lives that had touched everything here.

You smiled as you heard Brasso taking off his tool belt and putting it with his boots by the door. When he came to sit with you, he’d unzipped the top of his coveralls and tied the arms around his waist, the black tanktop underneath accentuating the muscle of his chest, his broad, freckled shoulders. His hair was a bit mussed, and you fought the urge to reach out and touch it, to smooth it back in place.

He noticed.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” you said. “I zoned out for a moment. Probably just tired.”

“Things are changing around here,” he said. “It’s setting people on edge. I can’t remember the last time I had a day where I just felt at peace. Where things felt normal.”

“I wish there was something more I could do.”

“You’re here. That’s peace enough for me today.”

You yawned then, and he put his arm around you.

“Come here,” he said, grabbing the knit blanket you kept thrown over the back of your couch. “Close your eyes. Just rest.”

So you did. You let yourself relish in that closeness, in his clean, familiar scent, the secure warmth of his strong arms, the steady rhythm of his heart. It wasn’t the first time you’d fallen asleep in his arms. And you did still wonder, sometimes, if there was something there that neither of you dared to speak about. But you had seen Brasso’s affection with other friends as well. And, at the end of the day, you were grateful for what you had with him, even if it wasn’t quite what you wanted. He made you feel safe, even on days like this, and given the state of the galaxy, that was a considerable feat.

*

“Would you want to go out today?” Brasso asks.

He’s just woken up from a nap, and he’s wandered out of the bedroom looking delightfully mussed in his favorite pair of sweatpants. You’ll never get used to the fact, even after all this time, that this beautiful man has chosen to spend the rest of his life with you. You’d been answering holomail, but you put down your datapad, ready to do what you can to ease your partner’s stress.

“Are you up for it?” you ask. “There’s that food festival downtown, you know. In the park by the spires. I wasn’t sure if you’d want to go.”

“That sounds nice.” He sits on the sofa next to you, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “I think I need some fresh air.”

“I think you do, too.”

You smooth his hair away from his face. Even as you say this, a part of you wants to just sit here like this all afternoon, resting your head on his chest, tracing the lines of the tattoos he collected in his travels, before he came home to you. A part of you wants to just stay here, like this, for the rest of the day. Still, you tell him to go get dressed, that you’ll be ready to go when he is.

Soon you’re in the park, a soft blanket laid out over the grass beneath you, paper containers of hot treats waiting to be opened—things from a few different food carts, because neither of you could choose.

“Now this,” Brasso says to you, “this is something I want to remember.”

“Hm?” You’re trying to open a bottle of a fizzy drink you hadn’t seen here before.

“Love,” Brasso says, one finger under your chin as he eases your face toward his. “Today is the day I first met you. Did you know that?”

You have to admit you didn’t remember the date. But he isn’t the kind of person to be upset over that. He knows his memory is better than most, and that you have a tendency to forget anything you don’t write down.

Still, you say, “I’m sorry,”

He smiles, leans in to touch his nose to yours. “No need,” he says.

There was a time when you never could have imagined Brasso would be the type to kiss you this way, out in the open for everyone to see. But whatever part of him that maybe had been too bashful for that kind of intimacy was gone with the war. With all the years he couldn’t hold you or kiss you at all. And under the bright sun he pulls you toward him, bringing your legs over his lap as he leans in to kiss your forehead, and then your nose, and then your lips, a kiss rich with devotion as he cradles your cheek in one of his big, rough hands.

You reach for his face, caressing the scruff of his short beard before threading your fingers through his hair, now collar-length, the silver strands catching the light. He still doesn’t believe you when you tell him you’ve never seen anyone more beautiful than him. But you’ll never get tired of telling him this, of telling him that from that day you met him there was nobody else in the galaxy who stood a chance to win your affections.

Today, you tell him: “I love you, you know. So much.”

“I know,” he says, a sparkle in his hazel eyes. “I can remember these things for the both of us.”

He kisses you again, a bit deeper, lingering, and you whisper, your lips brushing the shell of his ear, “People are staring.”

He laughs, running his fingers softly over your jaw before his hand comes to rest at the nape of your neck. “Let them,” he says.

And so you do, letting yourself enjoy this closeness as a warm breeze comes through the park, the sky in this moment seemingly full of possibilities, his kiss an infinite canvas for you to complete. You make a note of the date, and think to yourself that you won’t forget this time. You couldn’t possibly forget an afternoon like this.

★★★★★★★★

Hopefully it won't be so long between fics next time, but I hope you enjoyed this! Thank you for reading! I hope this fic made you feel seen and loved.

I have a taglist now! Sign up here if you want to be tagged in future fics. (And choose if you only want to be tagged for certain characters.) In the meantime, I’m tagging my taglist as well as some folks who have been reblogging my fics. Love y’all!

@writingbylee @waterpancakeao3 @zinzinina @princessxkenobi @aerynwrites @belfry-bat @phoenixhalliwell @r1-sw-lover @laserbrains @darthanakn @lovedbyth3sun @usernamesarebitches @maul-ologue @operation-spot @writeforfandoms @akgracemk @littlemousedroid @strwrs @saveatruckrideoptimusprime @galaxtic-writings @mintpurplemnm @againstacecilia @elasticreality @zombiedixon89 @forresway @sith-as-heck @alistocats @favficss @themandadolorian @ginger-swag-rapunzel @iamsuchanasshat@vvpoisonous @saradika @islandfrogeery @boba-brasso-bee @groguspawbeans @fluffyprettykitty @mischiefqueer @wretchedmo @wyn-n-tonic @dystopicjumpsuit

[perplexingluciddreams]

Welcome to my blog!

My name is Ezra but everyone calls me Ez :)

Most important stuff:

‼️ I have a lot of trouble with language. Have both receptive and expressive language delays. May word things poorly, may misunderstand/not understand things. Have social problems and struggle with interaction.

My writing on the internet is not indicative of my overall level of communication.

Please be patient with me!

Some facts about me:

🧩🌈 I have autism

💬 I am (fully) nonverbal

📱I am a full time AAC user (Grid 3 - Supercore 50)

♿️ I have other physical disabilities (severe ME/CFS, FND, suspected autistic catatonia)

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 My parents are my carers

🏳️‍⚧️ I am transgender/transsexual

Diagnosed with autism age 15. However, my autism was recognised by teachers and likely other adults at much younger age. Visibly autistic.

Fully nonverbal due to regression. Was semiverbal growing up (with unreliable speech- apraxia definition).

Not diagnosed with autism level because live in UK. Don't know what level or support needs I am considered, but need help with most bADLs and can't do any iADLs. Have continued (late) regression, still losing more skills.

I have restricted interests so only follow small amount of people and have a lot of tags blocked. If we interact regular basis, I consider same level as mutual! Just because don't follow, don't mean not like!

I try to tag things, but I get categories confused and sometimes it is a bit of a mess! Sorry, I try 🤷🏻‍♂️

Tagging system:

Personal tags:

#words from my head = Rambling, lighthearted, or short posts. Sometimes posts about my day-to-day life. Not serious topics or anything I spend a lot of time to write and edit.

#fragments of an idea = Rambling and disjointed posts, long or short, about any topics. Often have no flow and jump from one thing to the next. Usually just a first attempt at getting words out for one or more things, then there may be a more "put together" post in future.

#from the chaos of my mind = Complex, long, serious posts, with effort put into writing and editing them.

#ezra talk aac = any posts I write partly or fully with AAC, or about my personal AAC device/software. (AAC = Augmentative and Alternative Communication)

#snapshots of my life = My own pictures I take, some will have me/my face in them, some are just of things I do that I want to share.

#borrowing words = When I reblog something and relate, or the words match up with something I want to say, I am “borrowing words”.

#ezra watch = Posts about or relating to media I watch.

#ezra reads = Posts about things I read.

#ezra sews = Sewing and mending.

#ezra puzzles = Jigsaw puzzles.

#ill never get any sleep at this rate = Ongoing saga of posts, either about insomnia, or posted at a time when I really should be sleeping…

#reblog = Self explanatory, any reblogs.

#self reblog = When I reblog my own post with an addition. (If someone reblogs my post and then I reblog again to reply/add on, it will be tagged with both “reblog” and “self reblog”.)

#🍋 anon = Friend who sends asks :D

Other things I always tag:

#ask

#anon ask

#swearing

#long post

#very long post

#image

#gif

#video

#link

#described

#undescribed

#flash warning

My interests (some special interest, some short-term fixation):

Moomin

Sewing! (especially visible mending)

jigsaw puzzles 🧩

BBC Merlin

Buffy the Vampire Slayer + Angel: The Series (/Buffyverse)

Marvel Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Person of Interest (especially Root and Shaw)

Music (used to play clarinet, most important to me ever. But love all kinds music, especially right now metal!)

Languages (trying learning Swedish. Struggle but enjoy slow learning!)

Here is a post where I explain my journey with communication throughout my life:

Here is a post where I write about my experience with gender as a nonverbal autistic:

[multiplicity-positivity]

Hello, i have been questioning if im a system (and if i am it seems to possibly be median/im front stuck) mainly due to my inability to remember events others stated happened or have a weird disconnect from memories i do have (more so grey-outs not black-outs) unless they’re really emotionally attached memories (seeing a movie i liked, going to a theme park, my own birthdays or Christmas) and even then some parts of those memories are ‘blurred’ or ‘missing’.

I cant tell if this could be just my ADHD (given i also forget to do chores I dislike but can easily remember when something im exited about is coming up) forgetting parts or entire memories that i just dislike or have disinterest in. Or….?

(mention of fictional infant death down below!)

I have brought this up with my therapist but i also didn’t have terminology for ‘grey-outs’ when I did, now that I do i feel ill be able to more accurately explain what’s going on in my head. [i also feel i should state I have no experiences of things that seem traumatizing. At worst I (a more sheltered than average person) read a book then watched the movie that contained a scene of a baby being euthanized (it was a book we were reading in school & the teacher showed us the movie, this was middle school) and afterwards had my first panick attack during an allergy shot. And that sent me into a fit of anxiety for about a year, but I’ve been over that for a while & dont know if that classifies as trauma?]

Im still learning about systems and such, and you seem far more educated than me. Please help. 😅

hey, so we’re not an expert at all - just a system trying to share what we know. that being said, having memory issues in and of itself doesn’t really point to plurality to us, necessarily. lots of folks have issues with short or long term memory. brains are really complex and intricate, and plurality/dissociative disorders aren’t the only ways that amnesia can manifest. maybe check out our post on dissociative amnesia for a bit of our experience with this kind of amnesia specifically along with a few resources:

if you’re curious about complex dissociative disorders specifically (which we assume you are due to your mention of trauma), we’d like to say that repeated trauma in childhood is what causes these disorders to form. so witnessing one scary event in and of itself probably wouldn’t cause someone to develop a disorder as serious as did or osdd. it’s the repetition of trauma without an opportunity for the child to escape, process, or be supported which causes something like did to happen.

that being said, it’s very possible to be a system without trauma. lots of folks find that they’re plural without an extensive trauma history. and while many folks are plural without a dissociative disorder, some of them do have a form of plurality that was influenced by trauma, even if they don’t have a dissociative disorder. we’ll link our resource post for questioning systems so you can learn more about a bunch of different kinds of plurality, including dissociative disorders like did:

overall, we’ll reiterate that poor memory alone doesn’t really sound like a dissociative disorder to us, or even plurality as a whole. dissociative disorders come with a host of other debilitating symptoms, and plurality in general involves being multiple, or more than one.

you might have headmates who you just don’t know about. or you might not. ultimately this isn’t something we can answer for you. but hopefully with enough research and self-exploration, you’ll be able to answer this yourself.

sorry if this answer is weird or not quite what you were hoping to hear. we’re wishing you the best of luck with everything though, regardless of whether or not you’re plural.

🐢 kip and 🦇 kandi

[maskedemerald]

Pre-Order The Last Straw Novella

So the Kickstarter didn't work out but that isn't going to stop me! The book still comes out on the 25th of November! I'm still planning to do a smaller print run so if you want Paperback its going to exist! Follow the link to my website to pre-order in either E-Book or Paperback format!

A Curiosity Piqued – The Last Straw Novella – Masked Emerald

Also If you are interested I have some thoughts about the Kickstarter experience below the cut! Just my thoughts going forward and not words from any kind of expert on the matter. In fact they are rather rambly, sorry about that.

The Numbers

Costs

Indie printing is definitely not cheap, the costs have gone up for pretty much everything. However the worst thing was the increased cost of postage. Everything I read said make 20% of the goal postage costs. The way things are now I found it was more like 35% which is not good. My original printing costs were £3000 but by the time I'd added on fees, postage for the physical books and taxes it was £7000!

The Problem with Social Media

One of the biggest adversaries I faced was the algorithm and social media. Discoverability is shit on pretty much all social media at the moment. Getting seen beyond my existing followers was a big challenge. The only place I found growth was Tumblr and specifically in the Writeblr side of it (Hi new writer friends! I appreciate you! I'm still catching up on the tag games from when I was ill!)

The Experience

Preparations

Definitely next time starting preparations earlier. There is a lot of preparations involved so I'm definitely going to give myself more time so I'm not trying to do it all at the same time.

The video was harder than I thought it would be, give me unscripted streams any day over trying to get that perfect take.

Shy Bens Get Nout

Is a useful phrase however my anxiety sometimes makes it hard to actually do but seriously if you don't ask then you don't get. While it wasn't me that asked, someone asked on my behalf and as a result I got to do a talk about the book on the radio. Pick up the courage and ask, it might just make a difference. The worst they can do is say no. Which yeah can be intimidating but I need to get better at it!

Stress

I've been describing the Kickstarter as a mad dash. That's what it felt like. I had to constantly be pushing it and then things got worse, I got ill. I was in bed with no capacity to do anything for a week. It tanked my ability to push the Kickstarter. I seriously think its a good idea to have a bunch of posts already written and scheduled to go out. That way anything I post is extra. I really didn't like the stress of it personally so if I try again in future I'll be working to keep the stress low.

Future Plans

Longer Term Funding Pool

I'm going to be tracking the money made by The Last Straw and any merch designs to count towards the next print run of either The Last Straw or the next book. I'm also thinking about the people subbing on Twitch and the people considering becoming a Patreon. These people by the time a book comes out have put money into the printing pool and I think it would be more fair if they can also get the physicals without needing to pay full price. Also without them feeling they need to participate in a Kickstarter to make the thing they want happen. So I'm planning to change my rewards! Subs and Patreons will get virtual stamps towards physical items. This lets me keep entry low and even based on how much I get across the Twitch subs and Patreons. I'll be posting a proper breakdown soon.

Plans for Trying Kickstarter Again

I plan to try crowd funding again if the long term pool doesn't get enough for the next book but I am also considering trying out other sites like Indiegogo. The flexible funding is interesting if I could work out the costs the right way. We'll see what happens in March/April when I need to start thinking about printing the next A Curiosity Piqued.

[troph4eum]

hey ik its been a while since ive posted but i like that this is always here for when i have something i wanna talk about.

anyways so a while ago i released a song called do you see your god in me and i wanted to talk about the whole concept of the "god" within someone.

just a warning for those who r reading this: this is going to be a more personal post with me talking about more specific things going on in my life as this involves explaining my music which is one of if not the most personal thing to me. if youre not interested in that then youre free to move on. also this is probably gonna be long as fuck just like my other posts on here.

before getting back to the main subject let me give some context.

do you see your god in me was written about shinji and kaworu from evangelion. if you havent seen it then its fine ill be explaining the relevant stuff with them in this post. heres the link to the song if you want to listen to it and heres the genius page if you just want to read the lyrics

okay now on to what i wanted to talk about

so being completely honest i never truly knew what i meant by the "god in someone" until like half an hour ago when i really started to think about it. it was always something i knew like the idea of but could never put it into words so i just always assumed i would understand when im older. which is now proving to be true. i began really asking myself the question of what it means after i released another song called "overcoming toxicity" where theres an interpolation of the chorus from do you see your god in me at the end. ill talk more about that song in another post because it has its own history that requires its own explanation but my point is that it all came to a conclusion not tonight while i was walking around thinking of what i want to eat.

i always knew the god in someone would likely need to be revealed through their death. most likely suicide. that was the idea i had when writing the song at least. this is because in nge kaworu is an angel and he was only truly freed from his fate and was truly able to be himself when he died on his own terms at the hands of shinji. or at least thats how im interpreting those events evangelions symbolism leaves a lot of room for interpretation and tbh idk whats commonly agreed upon i just know how i perceive aspects of the story. anyways a major point in evangelion is humans not being able to understand one another when theyre alive. thats what the third impact is all about where all of humanity essentially dies and forms one collective consciousness with nothing held back. and i think this concept of the "god in someone" has a lot to do with that. but the question the title of the song asks didnt make a lot of sense. because if the god in you is revealed through death what would it mean for someone to see their god in you? thats what i always had trouble understanding and the explanation i have is subject to change and if you have your own explanation of it id love to hear it. but the conclusion i came to revolves around the lies that we tell. humans are liars. now im not saying this in a cynical way i think a lot of the lies we tell are subconscious and mostly harmless. but they do accumulate over time. and its not just the lies we tell others but the lies we tell ourselves whether we know were lying or not. ive always felt like the person inside my head is different than the person whos living my life and i think thats the god in me. the person who exists not as a result of all the lies that they tell and have been told but the person who simply exists.

the reason why i said the god in you is revealed in death and more specifically suicide is because of how brutally honest death is and how vulnerable and honest suicide is. now this isnt me glorifying death or suicide just to be completely clear this is coming from someone whos struggled with suicidal thoughts and contemplation. its because ive dealt with those thoughts that ik how honest it is. its honest to the point its almost scary its like its too real. but my point is the actions you take when approaching death are likely going to be as close as to the real you as possible. any last words or actions will be as genuine as possible because you know you wont have a chance to do anything else. now of course this isnt universal whatever exceptions to what im saying are valid contradictions im not saying this is law im just explaining my thoughts that have already filtered those possibilities out and this is already long enough without me explaining every exception to everything i say.

now the term "god" is used because of the connection to nge with kaworu being an angel but i thought ab it and decided that this definition can be helpful in coming to another conclusion

"the creator and ruler of the universe and source of all moral authority; the supreme being."

the world only exists to us how we perceive it so our minds are actively creating (being used in a loose sense) the universe by experiencing it through our senses and because we can be aware of this our minds dont really exist within the universe as we experience it. so in a way we are our own gods as we can choose (to a certain extent) how to perceive the world around us.

now getting back to the question of "do you see your god in me" i think it all comes down to truly being able to relate to another person and fell comfortable and understood by them and for you to also be relatable, comforting, and able to understand them. its a mutual connection the 2 of you share when theres nothing holding you back. it seems so simple but i think its such a unique and beautiful experience.

tbh thats really all ive figured out about that aspect of it so far. like i said i only really came to understand it recently and everything else i have to say has more to do with overcoming toxicity which honestly deserves its own post bc there are a lot of strong thoughts and feelings involving that song that doesnt just include this topic. so i think im just gonna end it here.

as always if u read all this bullshit ty ik im a generational yapper but it helps alleviate the stress of having it all in my head.

[duaghterofstories]

Ok so this has been bothering me for an hour

please, please, PLEASE write an elrik pov from the xanrik-cheating-fic because I need to know what he was actually doing

This was the ask I was waiting for. Don’t worry, Elrik isn’t a cheater or a horrible person, Skylene is just really bad at saying the important stuff and Xanthous has terrible timing.

Link to the other one: https://www.tumblr.com/dark-empress-justice/716899101391880192/ok-i-swear-ill-stop-after-this-one-but-xanrik

Hell and Highwater— Elrik’s POV

Rating: Teen

Ships: Xanthous/Elrik

Fandom: A Tale of Magic

Other: Post Canon, Cheating, but maybe not, Angst!!! ANGST!!! Sad, Crying, Insecurity, Emotional, Sad Ending, No Happy Ending, Sad,Written in about an hour, Misunderstands to a ridiculous level, Companion Piece.

Elrik hummed as he walked to the office. Ash, a demon Palace Assistant was talking away about their plans.

See, his and Xanthous’ 1 year anniversary was coming up, and he wanted it to be absolutely perfect. He wanted everyone, but mostly Xanthous, to know choosing to come to Hell with Xanthous, choosing to date him, they were the biggest and best decisions he ever made.

“Okay, so I’ll come meet you afterward then?” Ash clarified to him.

“Mhm.” Elrik nodded slightly.

He frowned and looked down when Xanthous grabbed his hand. Xanthous wasn’t normally one for PDA, even if they were in their office. If someone was around he was more reserved about acting lovey-dovey with him.

“Is something wrong Firefly?” Elrik asked, rubbing his thumb over the back of Xanthous’ hand and hoping that would calm him down. He really hoped it wasn’t a panic attack, or a memory of his father.

They always took a long time to deal with, and while Elrik was always willing to help Xanthous, it always made Xanthous very tired, and feel bad.

“Mmm…” Xanthous hummed, glaring at Ash aggressively. It reminded him of when Tangerina glared at Lucy. “She’s flirting with you.” He said after a moment.

Elrik couldn’t resist laughing a little bit at that. Ash? Flirting? That was stupid. “No she wasn’t.” He gave Xanthous a kiss and then sighed, remembering Xanthous’ prior obligations. “You’re meeting with the Council later, right?” He asked slowly, continuing to kiss down Xanthous’ beck now that they were alone. He felt Xanthous make an aborted moan and smiled, still kneading his thumbs into the palm of Xanthous’ hand.

“Yeah.” Xanthous sighed, as though going to visit his best friends was a chore. Elrik smiled softly. He really was the luckiest guy. “Are you sure you don’t want to come with me?”

Elrik shrugged casually. He’d already sent a letter to the Council to keep it a secret and Xanthous distracted, because he was working on a surprise for their anniversary.

“Nah. One of us needs to stay down here and make sure it doesn’t go to… umm… you know what I mean.” He was never quite sure what to say when an idiom mentioned Hell anymore.

Xanthous nodded, and Elrik saw him mentally rearrange and some of the tension come back to his body. Some of that anxious, nervous energy tension that he hated with a burning passion. Xanthous always felt bad afterward.

He reached over and threaded his hands through Xanthous’ hair, not worried about the fire burning him. It never did.

He pulled Xanthous down, curse his boyfriend’s unfair height advantage, and pressed his lips to the other’s.

Xanthous let out a filthy moan and his mouth fell open.

Elrik slipped his tongue inside of Xanthous’, and smirking when Xanthous fell from his half standing position.

Elrik smiled and stopped after a moment. Xanthous did still have a social engagement.

Xanthous took a couple deep breaths and then looked down at him, eyes blown wide.

“See you later firefly.” Elrik joked as Xanthous looked at him in a slight daze for a moment.

“Mmm.” Xanthous seemed to be trying to remember what the different words in that sentence meant. He wsaw the moment panic and realization hit him. “Oh shit, I have to go.”

“Mhm, yeah.” Elrik laughed a little bit as Xanthous scrambled to leave the room, not wanting to be late. “Have fun”

“I will.” Xanthous said as he left the room and toward the exit, which he could open anywhere.

Once Xanthous had been gone from the room for a few minutes, Elrik called Ash back.

She came into the office, holding their plans. “Are you sure about all this?” She asked flipping through them with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes.“ Elrik nodded and took the documents from her, flipping through them.

“What about His Majesty, the King assuming I was flirting with you?” She asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Eh, I’m sure it’ll be fine. Besides, I’ll just explain the whole story later and we’ll laugh about the idea I would date you.” Elrik paused. “No offense.”

“It’s okay, I know you’d never consider anyone else.” Ash chuckled and Elrik nodded remembering the couple of demons in the early months who had flirted with him. Xanthous may have demoted them, but they learned their lesson through other means that day…

He sighed. “Okay, where do we stand on the visiting the Northern Kingdom thing? Brystal recommend this restaurant there.” He passed the paper Brystal had sent him to Ash.

She looked down at it. “Yeah, we can do this.”

“Great, because I’ve been secretly getting it for him for months since she told me so he likes it when we go, and that was way too much effort to throw away.” Elrik spun in his chair for a moment.

“Planning anniversary dates is way harder then I thought.” Elrik hummed. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to do this. It just required a lot n

“But you love him so it’s worth it?”

“Exactly.” Elrik stood up and stretched. “Do you have the painting ready?”

“Yes, would you like to show me where you want it installed?” Elrik had made a painting of him and Xanthous meeting for the first time, and was going to have it installed in their room while he and Elrik were out on their date.

“Mhm. Come on.” He took Ash to their room, smiling as he did so. This was going to be the best first anniversary ever, he would make sure of it.

Inside the bedroom, he pointed to an empty spit next to his and Xanthous’ royal portrait, which was of him hugging Xanthous with a laugh and kissing him while Xanthous looked surprised, but happy.

“I’ll give it to him in the morning and then you can install it while we’re out.” He explained to her. “It should be installed right here.”

Ash nodded and noted this on her notepad. “That’s a good idea. We’re doing breakfast in bed, correct?”

“Yes.” Elrik hummed as he sat on the bed and squealed a little bit. God, he was so lucky to be dating Xanthous, and he’d be damned before he let the other forget it. Probably literally, since Xanthous was, well, the King of Hell.

“Just remember.” Ash said. “This is a big day and Xanthous would be pissed if you were too tired from stressing over planning to enjoy it.”

“Heh, that’s true.” Elrik sighed and sat up. “Sit down, I need to see the rest of the details.”

Ash say down and passed him the papers filled with his plans. He hummed as he read through them, skimming.

“This looks great.” He said, putting down the papers on the nightstand. “Thanks Ash.”

She nodded, and made a surprised noise when Elrik hugged her.

He heard a noise from behind him, and tensed.

“Elrik, out.” He could hear Xanthous trying not to cry and all if a sudden realized what it would look like to Xanthous.

He turned around, ready to fix this mistake, explain everything. “God, no, Firefly, wait—“ Elrik reached out to touch Xanthous’ shoulder, and hissed at the burn, retracting his hand,

“Out.” Xanthosu said, and Elrik could see the tears in his eyes, barely held back as he blinked repeatedly. “Both if you.”

Elrik took a deep breath. This was fine. He’d give Xanthous some time to, well, not cool off, but calm down, then come back andsort everything out. “Should I leave Hell.”

Xanthous didn’t look at him, the tears starting to slip onto his cheeks. Elrik resisted the urge to wipe them off. “Yes. Portal’s open. Goodbye.”

Elrik sighed, gave Xanthous a sad look, and then left. He made his way to the portal. He knew he could fix this, he just wasn’t sure how.

[cios-correct-opinions]

post here

DISCLAIMER BEFORE ANYONE SAYS OR ASSUMES ANYTHING ABOUT ME: i am not a proshipper. i am not an anti. i do not use any shipping discourse labels because i've been actively traumatized by both communities and have no desire to put that label on myself. i am just a person capable of critical thinking who enjoys analyzing media sometimes. i do not condone harassment over fiction, and i also do not believe any form of media is free from critical analysis or criticism, especially if it includes harmful propaganda and/or portrayals of marginalized peoples/societies which serve to perpetuate or legitimatize a pre-existing societal bias. do not call me an anti. do not call me a proshipper. do not assume things about me in bad faith. ive got no time for that and ill block you if you do this.

i actually think i kinda have a grasp on what's being said here so lemme explain this bc this is kinda how i feel? i'm gonna explain as best i can since its nearing 3 am and im a lil tired. forgive me if i dont explore every angle of nuance here btw again im tired but the adderall is in my blood so.

ahem.

my main talking point is this: there is a difference between exploration of something, which can include varying depictions and portrayals of a subject, vs propaganda for something, which has the intent of swaying you towards one side or away from one side or blah blah blah you know what propaganda wants to do i'm sure

exploration of dark and taboo subjects such as CSA/SA/abuse in general, paraphilias, mental illness, incest, so on and so forth - especially when done by survivors of those things - are almost never propaganda, no matter how they're being portrayed. someone using fictional characters within a fictional context to cope with their own trauma is, 99.9% of the time, not trying to endorse that behavior in real life. they also often assume the people reading it will understand that they the creator are not trying to endorse that behavior in real life.

example: most people who create fiction based off the mafia do not actually want to be mobsters, nor do they think others should be, nor do they endorse the real life mob, even if their portrayals can sometimes be problematic in other ways and/or contribute to certain problematic societal ideas about gang violence esp when committed by white people, but that's an entirely different issue than the one at hand and has more factors in play.

a deeper example: while a work of fiction can definitely reveal certain creator biases and/or how the creator feels about certain topics, it doesn't mean that every detail in the fiction is weighted the same way. someone may have clear biases towards, for example, women, in their work based on how they write their female characters, but not condone murder in that same work just because murder is part of the plot and/or is framed as a net positive in the storyline. you can have a work which clearly shows a creator's true feelings or thoughts or philosophies or what-have-you on one topic, but not on another, within the same work. learning which of these is true and when is a learned skill. i can't tell ya to do it myself as i am not a teacher

despite it seeming like it should be easy, on the other hand, spotting propaganda can actually be really fucking hard. i am not here to talk about how to spot propaganda, and perhaps will reblog this at a later date with links on how to do that as i am too tired to both write this and look for reliable resources on doing that, so if you want that for now, sorry, you gotta search elsewhere. however, this difficulty often leads to the main conflict i see online:

people believe that an exploration or portrayal of a dark/taboo subject or a subject which contains something that is immoral or illegal in real life, which does not outright condemn that thing, and/or appears on a surface level to be a "positive" portrayal (air quotes bc what counts as positive changes depending on who you ask) even when made by real-life survivors of the thing being explored, is the exact same as propaganda meant to push the emulation of that thing or behavior in real life, by real people, to real people/others/whatever.

this is the issue i and others keep running into online, over and over and over again. people are unable to tell the difference, they are unable to tell the target audience of a work, they are unable to understand why someone would make something a certain way, and ultimately the material upsets/triggers/disgusts/bothers/etc them, and all of this leads to them treating the first group of media like the second. because of that, they assume those creating that content are encouraging its real-world application and that the creators think these actions are okay, or that they will/want to/have perpetrated those acts in real life as well. once they've decided this, it's essentially impossible to convince them otherwise

ignoring the fact that you cannot make these assumptions about a stranger online in good faith literally ever, this is a huge problem. a nazi creating propaganda indoctrination white supremacist fantasy fiction material is nowhere near the same as a CSA & SA survivor creating works of dark fiction/art to cope with their trauma, but a lot of people consider it one and the same because they literally are incapable of seeing the difference. they can't analyze either work by either creator, and are unable to see how the nazi's fiction is different from the survivor's. even if the subjects portrayed in the works are different, too

these people will also insist that any humanization of a villain they deem "bad" or "problematic" enough - which, again, is dependent on who's making those decisions and not any kind of clear standard - means that the creator condones/believes/enjoys those things the villain does, and people who enjoy that character also condone/believe/enjoy those things the villain does. the ultimate irony of it all, of course, is that these people are consuming the exact same media with the exact same characters and exact same story and exact same plotline as the people they are attacking, and many of those people also enjoyed that media. they just seem to think because they enjoy blorbo blingus The Good Guy(tm) instead of zorbo zingle The Bad Guy(tm), that makes them morally superior instead of, yknow, just someone with a different opinion who is reading/watching with a different lens than someone else

obsession with moral purity, moral superiority, and in general an abstract concept of morality, is what has ultimately led us here. in an attempt to be seen as "acceptable" by the masses of the world - regardless of whether they participate in fandom or not - for whatever reason one has, has led some of us to turn on each other within fandom spaces

fear of predatory abusers lurking in the shadows, as well as an inability to actually identify the signs of a predatory abuser caused by a society whose goal is largely to protect those same predatory abusers, as well as a sadly large and growing number of victims of abuse growing up online and sometimes being abused and/or preyed on online (as i myself was) who thus are hypervigilant for this sort of thing due to their own trauma, has all led to a willingness to attack and destroy anyone we think might possibly maybe sorta kinda be a little suspicious without a second thought to the actual probability of that person's guilt, as well as the inability to stop and ask ourselves what we're really doing when we attack people over fictional portrayals of things as well as whether or not these fictional hypothetical transgressions are truly worth destroying someone's livelihood and life over or whether they're something we can simply block and ignore and not worry about

simply liking or disliking something in media has become a source of literal panic attacks for a lot of people because they drive themselves mad looking for a "good, moral, logical reason" to like or dislike something rather than just accepting it for what it is

our lack of understanding combined with an unwillingness to be open to the possibility of alternative interpretations for anything has driven people to commit atrocities. someone is literally dying right now because of it. actively dying. will die soon. because of antis deciding their creations meant it was okay to lie about them being a pedophile (they weren't), get them fired from their job due to these false claims, resulting in them losing their health care, which has 4 years down the road, resulted in their eventual death.

we. must. do. better.

[slytherinbarnes]

Hiiii! Really random, but I want to start a x reader rewrite of a show and I was wondering if you had a few tips for how you did sub Rosa? It seems like such a big project but fun at the same time and I want to attempt it but I don’t really know how to go about it lol!

Sub Rosa is absolutely stellar by the way, I’m literally in love with it! I’ve only gotten to the second season because I found your account only recently and I’m very late to watching the 100 but I obviously had to get into the fanfiction! I’m hoping to find more The 100 writers and fics as well that I love, but I haven’t had the time until now! Well this got away from me a bit, but if you have any tips, thank you! If not or anything, you’re still awesome and I hope you have a good day!

omg heyyyyy babes!! first off, thank you for your kind words!!! you dont even know what you just activated bc i am a certified type A virgo 😅 i talked about this a little bit when i first finished publishing sub rosa so ill link you to that post here. this shows some of the notes, outline, maps, etc that i kept up with during the course of writing!

for me, i started with an outline of all 100 episodes and the basic summary of what happened. then as i rewatched the show and figured out where i wanted la lune, i would put that in that episodes notes. i'd also jot down any questions i had about where people were or what was going on bc one thing about the 100 is everyone is gonna be in 10 different locations lmao. so i had to decide if la lune would be by herself or with this group and that group. that was the main thing that really helped me with this undertaking!

also depending on what series you're writing for, i love things like maps and such. it just helped me a lot to visualize how long it may take the characters to get to certain areas in the show. this is ovi dependent on the fandom though!

other than that? my main advice is probably to just reread your chapters as much as possible! i would do this to make sure i didnt accidentally leave a plot line open or unfinished, and to make sure everyone is where i want them to be and that i know where all special items may be (like la lune's necklace). stuff like that isnt a big deal to everyone but it really mattered to me! also tracking injuries and scars! you cant have someone get beat up in chapter 3 and be running perfectly in chapter 4. i mean, you can lmao, but i guarantee someone will point it out!

i think that's everything?? if you have any more questions, please feel free to ask bc sub rosa is my magnum opus and i will take endlessly about the process to anyone that asks lmao. have a good day bb and good luck writing!!

oh i also have a 100 rewrite directory! a few links may be broken bc i havent updated it in a bit, but it may help you find a more writers you like! that can be found here!

[chocolatespyro]

welcome to my blog or something or other

I'll probably be most active here for most things. First thing's first though:

Please politely let me know if I accidentally forget to tag or tag something wrong or if I am supporting someone/something problematic thanks.

(Please provide proof. I don't want to listen to or spread possible misinformation.)

I don't control any blogs I reblog things from, so be careful and go to them at your own risk. And also heed any and all content warnings and block tags of posts you don't wanna see.

I don't tag posts with caps or regular swears in them and I use caps frequently. If there's a safe chrome extension that makes caps lowercase I can link it here

---

DNI If You:

Fall under general DNI criteria (Racist, Homophobic, Zionist, Antisemitic etc)

Hate any harmless groups (Therians, Objectums, etc)

Are a proshipper/comshipper (Specifically if you're supportive of or make romanticised Inc/st and/or P/dophillia, fictional or not.)

(Idc much if it's a ship where they're both consenting adults w/ no familial relation.)

(Clarifying because of the 200 different meanings of proship. May need to update this to be even more specific so. ill get back to you on that. But this is it for now.)

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In general please be polite when interacting.

(That being said spam likes/reblogs are 1000% okay I love it when people do that please blow up my notifs. just dont spam asks just 1 or two are fine.)

Also also please change your icon and header and title so I know you're not a bot if you're new.

(Everything else below "Keep Reading")

I'm in the object show community. And I like III Cabby a lot.

I draw and will probably mostly just do object show related stuff here since it has taken over my interests but this is always subject to change because this is my blog and I do whatever lol

I'm very quiet and closed off in general unless I know you but you can talk to me if you want.

Also I might post negatively about Inanimate Insanity Invitational so if you don't wanna see that block the #ii neg , #ii negativity and #neg ii tags

Stuff w/ reblog bait is under #reblog bait tw so block that also if you need to.

^^ NOTE: I will likely not tag posts with #reblog bait tw if they just say "Please Reblog" or other similar phrases with no catch.

PSA-type posts or posts with important information will usually be tagged as #important

My art tag is #this is my art and this is the tag for it

(I do not support AnimationEpic I just like Cabby and I judge Inanimate Insanity Invitational pretty harshly in comparison to most things.)

[foxtriestobiteandmaimandkilland]

okay so. im like. idk ANY music theory. like. at all apart from when i played the piano for a couple years when i was like 7. so. this is definitely the ramblings of a guy who is being very autistic about bug video game. and nothing more. (and also has been done before i am purely doing this for @exnihilo-comic​ bc they asked me on my thoughts) BUT. i am sooooo fucking insane about the hollow knight ost. (LONGGGG post below the cut)

SO LIKE. theres OBVIOSULY the like. main theme yknow. thats in enter hallownest and the title screen song. the one that goes likeeee errr. (wait i gotta look up smth rq)

OKAY SO THERES THIS. (just taken from here) :

anddd theres this :

WHICH is like. yknow. the whole Big leitmotif of. Everything. BUT. the thing is. i was wondering which songs specifically it is in. bc like. im hoping its not just. hallownest’s motif. and more for smth specifically. BUT YEA. so so far theres obviously the title screen and enter hallownest (which is the trailer music im p sure ?)(ok yea it was the ferocious foes trailer music). BUT. im gonna go thru all the songs n see which ones have this in (i will not be accurate as im going by ear since errrrr. im not the best at reading sheet music)

okay well dirtmouth (taken from here) IMMEDIATELY has the theme in it (with the bit in red missing)

it is clearly slower n in a dif key but like. the same theme

and pretty much most of the melody of dirtmouth is like. essentially this same theme. just a loaddd slower. and in a dif key. im not gonna screenshot each comparison and try to pinpoint each difference bc. like ive said, idk music theory. i just like video game osts.

okay so crossroads is a little more difficult but to me it sounds like it possibly has the same chord progression ? but i may be speaking out my arse so someone who actually knows what theyre talking abt could draw comparisons.

altho i DO want to talk abt the crossroads track. this is the part where i start bullshitting FULLY. so like smth i LOVE abt it is how very drawn out each note is. like it sets the scene of hk PERFECTLY. its like. the track feels a lot more loose ? i suppose ? than the other songs you wouldve heard by now. which ig feels like it rlly shows how sorta. abandoned and like. i mean “forgotten” the “forgotten” crossroads rlly r. like they have no sorta form left but its clear that crossroads was once a place w a lot more life in it besides the handful of npcs u meet there (well like. yknow. uninfected life). but the one thing abt the crossroads track is that it sounds. calm yknow. which does reflect the crossroads compared 2 the other locations. the enemies there r simple enough to defeat and theres plenty of safe spots. its right under dirtmouth so its (before its infected) the safest area a player will explore for a whileeee. anyways ye the crossroads track is cool.

okay w the false knight battle theme i wasnt RLLY gonna say anything abt it BUT. it does actually have the main theme in it.

(link)

sooo yea so far the only connection ive made is Almost Every Song Has This Theme In It.

oh also in the false knight theme there is this ONE bit that sounded a little like the very beginning of the mantis lords theme to me but idk theyre not the CLOSEST just similar.

anyways next song: greenpath. so i THINK its happened again and THE WHOLE BIG LEITMOTIF IS ONCE AGAIN HERE.

like dirtmouth it is slower and in a different key but thats definitely it. which honestly was unexpected i didnt think it was in any area music. so once again, i think this is in literally almost EVERY track so thats making me more wonder abt the tracks its NOT in. but ill come to that later maybe. what i do want to know is if theres anything else in greenpaths track thats in another song. what im thinking is perhaps therell be a similarity between greenpath and hornets battle music ?

okay this sorta call and response thing here is interesting to me because it sounds veryyyy familiar to me. (everytime i have heard it tho it just sounds like either hornets voice at some point or when sly says gibolen mas sooo take this as u will. i am however listening 2 a couple of hornets lines and the closest i think there is is when she says la fe nuva nido or whatever that gibberish is) anyways the call and response interests me.

anyways more abt greenpaths song in general terms, i do love how this one feels a lot more full of life than crossroads, because crossroads felt very barren w the blue and the brick(?) whereas greenpath is full of life, just in the sense of scenery. its (obviously) a lot greener and full of plant life which already feels loads more alive. and the enemies there also arent simply just husks (AND EVIL SAP MONSTERS) theres like. theres moss creatures and fucking squits and those shooty wall things and just a whole lot more life, and that is reflected very well in the track bc it sounds a lot more full and like it has actual emotion. and even the battle theme (like where u fight the moss knight) is a lotttt more emotional and tense than crossroads’ - which feels a lot more like just sorta. primal fear what with a beat that sounds almost like a heartbeat and the repetitive drums. but greenpaths battle theme is a LOT more lively and dance-like and it has DEPTH. idk i thinkkk im rambling a little but i do love greenpaths contrast with crossroads

OKAY. hornets battle theme. smth obviously noticed a lot before is her theme is comprised of only string instruments (yknow bc. shes a spider n uses a needle and will star in SILKsong so like. yeah. string) ONCE AGAIN. the main motif is in this song surprise surprise. (link)

altho smth interesting abt it is how it changes depending on which half of the theme is playing. for the first half the er. whatever u call the top bit i forgot. is playing it (and im prettyyy sure its a violin or viola or smth similar). but then it switches to the er. bottom line. and is played by a perhaps cello ??? smth lower than the first instrument. and different. which i think is a nice little thing AND is similar to the call and response from greenpath.

thats p much all i can say in terms of “technical” stuff BUT. in terms of vibes. I love how perfect this is for hornets fight. it definitely reflects how shes a lot more agile than the false knight and depends less on pure strength and more on her movement in the arena. i love how very fast paced it is AND HOW HAPPY IT IS. it is a VERY happy piece because hornet is ENJOYING HERSELF. bc yes her and ghost r fighting but she never wants to HURT it (even if i DIED to her like. a million times.) and WE never hurt her, we just beat her (and if ur a speedrunner, bully her in a corner) but she laughs during the fight, she has silly little battle cries, shes having a FUN TIME. which is shown in the music bc its CONSISTENTLY HAPPY. also the very sharp and sorta staccato (see i know SOME music terminology) notes throughout r veryyy fitting for the fights pacing and hornets attacks.

Okay this has been sitting in mt drafts for a bit and idk i might rb w add ons but j think i was just on smth else that night bc ive never been like. In the Mindset(tm) to do more of this. Ok. Have fun exnihilo person. Yea.

[stories-and-chaos]

Okay I just got into The Owl House and I have a shit ton of thoughts and feelings but right now I wanna talk about Camila. Because I get where she’s coming from.

You know you’re old when you start relating to the parents in cartoons. It’s weeeeeeeeird. I’m not about to say Camila did nothing wrong because she has, but she’s a good parent trying her best imo.

My kiddo is neurodivergent. He’s a smart, sweet six year old on the autism spectrum. I love that he loves monster trucks and marbles and hot wheels cars. He’ll tell everyone about time trial races on his marble run and his favorite version of the GraveDigger truck. Did you ask for that information? Doesn’t matter he’ll tell you. At toddler groups he was in his own world, he had a plan for how playtime was gonna go and he was going to stick to it. I could do a huge post about what we’ve done to help our son but the point is, we knew he needed help to learn how to deal with other kids. We got him that help, from specialists in programs for people like him. He’s in first grade and while things aren’t perfect, he’s got the foundation for coping and interaction with others.

Back to The Owl House. We know Luz marches to her own drum. “Luz has always done things differently,” Camila says. Whether Luz is on the spectrum or not (I’d say she is) she definitely has a learning curve to interacting with her peers. She likely would have benefited from similar social therapy programs when she was young. But with Manny’s illness and death, sadly that probably wasn’t a priority for the Nocedas. And to go out on a speculative limb, if Camila had similar experiences as a child, she may not have realized therapy could have been helpful for Luz. She didn’t have specialists teaching her how to cope and navigate the neurotypical world after all, why would her kid need that?

Until said kid is a teen struggling with high school. And Camila is a single parent who’s still grieving and seeing her baby start to have problems just like she dealt with. She loves Luz and her quirks but she knows most kids don’t use sausage links as theater props. But she doesn’t know how to help her daughter. Camila will call people out on people badmouthing her girl obviously. But how to stop the badmouthing in the first place?

Camila doesn’t know that. She can’t teach her daughter to be “normal” because Camila isn’t “normal.” But here’s someone from the school system (presumably someone with more experience of kids like Luz) offering a solution. A whole group of people experienced in helping similar kids be “normal.” Who better to make sure Luz has an easier time at school than her mom did?

Now, summer camp is not cheap. Average overnight camp cost this year was around $450 PER DAY. And that’s for a “cabin life with activities” sort of camp. A specialty (or behavioral) camp could be more. But it’s worth the cost, right? Maybe. A reputable camp with professionals could very well have helped Luz figure out the tools she needs to deal with neurotypicals. A less reputable one focused on churning out results to justify taking all that money from desperate parents, not so much. Either way, fees have already been paid, non refundable, parent testimonials and staff say this place works, so the kid is gonna go.

Well, a kid goes. Vee attends, makes friends, learns how to act human, comes home. Camila likely sees Luz acting like a mature teenager. She’s not using escapism to cope with her dad’s death anymore. Her interests have changed but kids grow out of things all the time. Her daughter seems collected, stable, and ready to fit in at school. Camila is likely grateful that camp helped and Luz won’t have the same sort of hard time she did now. It was a tough, expensive decision and with life going smoothly she’s not going to question the results. Even in “Yesterday’s Lie” Camila goes along with the “game,” happy that Luz has a productive, social outlet for her creativity.

Except it’s not a game and now Camila knows she messed up. She didn’t realize “Luz’s” change in behavior was her being an entirely different person. Not only is her only child trapped in a different plane of existence, she had the opportunity to come home and chose not to. Having my kid prefer my partner’s company over mine the first time was hard enough. Finding out Luz chose to stay in the Demon Realm probably felt like she was being eviscerated. Another limb on my speculation tree here, but it looks like Camila doesn’t have much of a support system herself. Obviously there’s her staff at the vet clinic but they’re employees. No mention of friends or family nearby. Just Manny and Luz. But her husband’s gone. Of course she’d beg Luz to come back and stay.

When Luz does get back (+4) Camila is determined to be a better parent. She messed up before and thought she probably lost Luz forever. She’s going to get it right this time, from figuring out how to feed otherworldly adolescents to learning everything she can about LGBTQIA youth. She’ll even fight demons with her chancla and bat to bring her daughter’s friends home, like she’s escorting them back after a weekend trip. Mama needs a cocktail, a geeky book club, and some parent friends and I really hope she gets some of that in the Boiling Isles.