#so lets hope i dont have to do a full shift on an hour and a half of rest

[pixeled-freckles]

[bagdaddyb]

Oh to Mate

Kinktober 🎃

Summary: ABO with little plot but a lot of smut cause sometimes we all need omega Nat in our lives.

Pairing: alpha g!pReader x omega! Nat

Warnings: NSFW NSFW NSFW. 18+ Minors DNI . Asshole Steve.

AN: First time posting my writing in a while but I miss it. Hopefully I've improved. Enjoy!

It started out as simple disbelief. Natasha was tired of all the female omegas around the compound raving about you, unmated fun and a few sympathy ruts left many of the females hoping you'd truly become their alpha. No one could be that good, Natasha's few experiences with unmated alphas were less than pleasurable an alpha never even having made her cum. So only to prove the rumors wrong when her next heat started to come around she stayed close to you every free moment she had. On the final day before she knew she'd have to isolate everytime you came around she let go small whimpers and pained noises. It was no surprise by that night that you approched her mentioning a sympathy rut and offering to help her through her heat. Now in her room a few hours later heat hitting her full force she squirmed not looking forward to another unsatisfied heat.

She was already bare her body temperature, threatening to overheat if she kept on clothing. Laying on her back head propped on her pillows surrounded by things she used to put together a make shift nest she watched as you slowly pulled off your shirt scars laced your abdomen and arms proof of past missions and a tramatic back story. You were thick with muscle and meat. A large alpha whose presence could be felt enter a room you would make any omega happy. You kept on your shorts and bra on not wanting to intimidate the omega. Approaching slowly, you stand at the end of the bed, eyeing the case of water and small snacks you'd stacked near the bed before meeting Natasha's eye.

"May I enter your nest?"

Natasha's brows raised in slight surprise, while a nest was meant to be an omegas safe space she hadn't met an alpha who'd respected it yet.

"Yes."

She whispered. You cut back your scent as much as possible, climbing lightly into the nest not wanting to disturb anything or overwhelm the omega.

"What do you need omega? How can I help you?"

Another surprise, since when did an alpha care about anyone other than themselves. A whimper left Natasha involuntarily, it'd been a long time since she's had an alpha this close during her heat and it was making the pain worse.

"It hurts."

Natasha whimpered slightly curling in on herself. Releasing a comforting noise you crawl towards Natasha hovering over her you lean and kiss her head before moving down her body, you run your hands down her side as you kiss her chest leaving fire in your wake. You left kisses everywhere you could reach softly sucking each of her nipples before continuing down. Lifting her legs you finally reach her apex slick leaking out of her. You dont waste another second there was nothing better than an omegas slick, eating her out desperately you lick up every ounce of juice you can get. Something was sweeter about Natasha, her slick like candy and you'd always had a sweet tooth. Natasha moaned loudly, no alpha has ever gone down on her before and the sensation running through her caused goosebumps to appear on her body.

"(Y/N)."

Your name slipped from her lips in a mixture of disbelief and pleasure. Her hands gripped the sheets, back arching off the bed, knots tying in her stomach. Oh my god. Natasha thought as she looked down at you meeting your predatory gaze. Oh my god. You slurped, sucked, and lightly nibbled at every piece of Natasha slowly building her up until finally penetrating her with your tongue. Natasha visibly jumped before rolling her hips roughly. Oh my god.

"I'm cumming, I'm cumming alpha."

Another second was all it took before her eyes rolled to the back of her head body spasming with pleasure she'd never felt before. For only a mere moment her heat tampered down, catching her breath as you climb back up her body.

"Mmmm there we go omega, that won't be the last time you cum for me."

Your voice is deep as you lean into her neck taking a deep breath of her scent gland and Natasha's arms wrap around you needing you closer.

"Alpha please, please, I need more."

You hum again your own sympathy rut making your erection painful. Pulling off your shorts and boxers you spring out slapping against Natasha's stomach. The feeling of your length is enough to make Natasha eyes dialate even more you were thick and long bigger than any alpha she's taken before. Whimpers escape her, you're taking to long, grinding up against you she feels your shuddering breath against her neck. Leaning back on your knees you pump your cock giving Natasha her first view of your member and she nerely drools. Pumping yourself a few times before rubbing against Natasha you look into the eyes of the omega below you.

"Do you want this omega?"

"Yes, YES! I need you alpha."

Loosing your focus you let your pheromones go your scent surrounding Natasha and overtaking her nest making her go feral. You slip in slowly, too slowly for Natasha the stretch was a wonderful burn and the full feeling she needed. She felt doused in her heats fire. You pumped into her gently giving her time to adjust another action unlike any other alpha who only cared about thier own pleasure. Bending back down over the omega you tuck your arms close to Natasha your right hand holding the back of Natasha's neck, sticking your nose back against Natasha's scent gland you shudder taking in the omegas intoxicating scent. Natasha'sm arms wrap back around you the hold you have on her highly intimate keepings your bodies impossibly close which you knew an omega craved. Pumping into her you penetrate her hard and deep. High pitched noises leaking from Natasha's mouth.

"So good alpha, you feel so good."

Releasing a light growl you open your mouth careful of your canines you bite Natasha's scent gland without breaking the skin. In an instant Natasha spasms beneath you an orgasm having been ripped out of her.

"Alpha.... alpha."

Natasha cried the pleasure she felt almost overwhelming. Letting go of her neck you lift to meet her in a sloppy passionate kiss. Your hips never faulter keeping their bruising pace pounding into her. Your hand on the back of her throat felt possessive your free hand grabbing her leg to raise it to your shoulder. Now wide open your thrust hit Natasha at a different angle and the red head releases high pitched whines into your mouth unable to maintain the kiss.

"Alpha, please alpha."

Natasha wasn't even sure what she was asking for anymore eyes rolling as another orgasm takes over her body.

"Just like that omega. You like that don't you, like how your alpha takes care of you."

Natasha can only whimper your words causing another wave of slick,  her head nodding in response. Bending towards her scent gland you lightly bite again. Another rapid orgasm taking over the red head. Growling into the bite your grip tightens on the woman pace becoming a bit faster and rougher. After a few thrust Natasha feels your knot begin to slam at her entrance and she almost cries.

"Yes alpha knot me, fill me up."

You growl again slamming against the red head faster, Natasha's eyes roll as she cums for what must be the sixth time but before she can be breached you pull out releasing your white ooze onto the omegs stomach. Natasha whimpers repeatedly, your knot wasted, having been the last thing she needed to feel whole. You let go of her neck releasing relaxing pheromones while you pepper her face is kisses.

"Relax omega, relax."

You hum into her skin until you feel the womans rapid heartbeat calmdown. As her adrenaline stops Natasha feels satisfied for the first time ever, her heat subsiding enough for her to relax. You lean away from her grabbing a water from the case and Natasha releases a distressed sound at the distance.

"Shhhh omega. Drink this, you need to stay hydrated."

The woman grabs the bottle downing it quickly if only to have you close again.

"Good omega now rest, you'll need it."

You return to your previous position pressed up against the omega listening to her heartbeat until you're sure she is asleep. Rolling next to the omega you take breaths of your own, your rut having been left unfulfilled since you hadn't knotted the woman. Even though your knot subsided your hard on continued to rage. Relaxing as much as you can you lay on your back closing your eyes, you needed rest as well. For the first time in her life she came out of her heat two days later feeling satisfied rather than her usual seven days of misery. Laying in her nest which still smelled strongly of your scent she couldn't stop the smile that rested on her face. You'd been a good alpha taking care of her every need keeping her fed and hydrated suddenly Natasha felt a longing. Wanting a bond, wanting to truly mate with you. It isn't till the next day that her happy bubble pops, whispers of other omega sheild agents making her remember why she went for you in the firzt place. Not only had you gone way past her expectations but now the way these woman spoke about you made her blood boil. Overwhelming her with the want to attack the woman talking about her alpha. Natasha once again sticks to you like glue after her heat bristling and sending glares at any omega who even thinks to look your way. At first you think nothing of it Natasha was your partner, you'd been working together for over a year now but a week later when you hear her little growl at Maria when she approaches you about paperwork you put together the signs of her overly possessive behavior. You aren't quite sure what you want to do, you don't want to possibly mess up the close bond you two share but at the same time you are an unmated alpha the after effects of her heat should of faded days ago. Thinking back to Natasha's heat your mouth begins to water, the omega was candy. The sweetest nectar you'd ever had and helping her through her heat you were more attentive than you've been with any omega thus far. You can see Natasha being a good omega not just a good omega but your omega, you want to care for her protect her claim her. But at the same time you aren't sure you're ready to mate aren't sure you'd be the alpha any omega deserved. You ponder on this for days but by the end of it, it seems you don't need to make a decision. Natasha seems to distance herself from you, her overly possessive behavior abandoned in favor of space. Space you assumed she needed so you didn't comment on it at first no matter how much your alpha yearned for the omega to be near. Now near a month later you know the red heads heat should be approaching any day now. Staring at her across the room during one of Tony's over the top parties you can't help the low growl that starts while you watch her closely hover around Steve. He was an alpha you disdained, having heard enough from omegas in the compound for a lifetime of disappointment. He believes himself somewhat a god, treating the omegas around him like objects rather than people and the thought of him rutting with Natasha during her heat made your Alpha flash with rage. All it takes is a second. Steve wraps his arm around Natasha's waist and you're on your feet quickly cutting across the crowd to get to their location. You try to reign in your growl but it seems futile the closer you get to the pair. Natasha looks your way first, her omega senses alert to the sound and smell of angry alphas. The look on your face says you're ready for a fight chest rising and falling rapidly and she hates the way her omega responds breaking from Steves tight grip to address your distress. She tried to distance herself from you, determined not to become a fangirl like the rest but she was to close to her heat, to intune with her primal instincts to be away. You stop when you see Natasha approach allowing her to enter your space eyes never leaving her form.

"(Y/N)? Are you alright?"

You hesitate not sure what to say, not sure if you should say anything. Then you smell her, early stages of heat making her scent even sweeter and lean into her space.

"Omega."

You whisper in her ear and fight back the smirk at the whimper you get in response. You wrap your arm around Natasha's waist taking the place Steve once held before guiding her towards the doors. Natasha allows herself to be guided, your touch burning her skin your scent igniting something inside her. Once outside the venue in the cold night air Natasha feels some relief your heat not all encompassing. You lead Natasha to your car opening the passenger door for her before climbing in the drivers side youself. Your leg bounces impatiently as you start the vehicle the mere ten minute drive to the compound seeming to long in your mind.

"Since your last heat I crave you omega."

You pause if only to gauge Natasha's reaction peaking at her out the side of your eye you catch her surprised expression and decide to continue.

"I crave your pressence, I crave your scent, I gave you the space I thought you needed. I thought I needed, but tonight seeing you with another alpha I almost lost it."

Your grip tightens on the steering wheel just thinking about the way Steve touched the omega, your omega. Natasha remains silent unsure of what to say or what to do and you respond in kind holding your tongue until you pull into the parking garage of the compound. You put the car in park sitting for a moment in the silence before speaking again softly.

"The truth is Natasha, I want to mark you make you mine if you'd have me. You don't have to respond today, don't have to respond at all. I'm still not sure I'm the alpha you want or the alpha any omega deserves but I know I want to be your alpha."

With that you open your door exiting the car. Walking to Natasha's side you open her door for her closing it behind her once she exits the car.

"Just think it over."

With that you walk away entering the compound without another word and the red head remains too stunned to speak. You, (Y/N), the infamous alpha just propositioned to mate Natasha. You asked to mate her, since when do alphas ask but thinking on it Natasha realizes you've always asked. Asked to help her with her heat, asked to enter her nest, even asked her repeatedly how she was doing during her heat. In three short days you'd cared for her more than any alpha ever had maybe thats why she felt so possessive over you after. Maybe thats why she got excited everytime she caught your scent or perked up everytime you showed her attention. But maybe it wasn't, maybe Natasha wanted you just like you wanted her. The red head never even considered mating, her experiences with alphas proving that it would only hurt her and hold her back but with you the possibilities were endless. Despite being the alpha you'd always given her control giving her the opportunity to say no at any point. The next morning telltale signs of Natasha's heat overwhelmed her senses she'd be fully succumbed by nightfal for sure and even after a good nights sleep her thoughts couldn't help but flood to you. Alpha. Hopping up Natasha dresses rapidly eager to be in your pressence. Exiting her room she moves quick before another alpha catches wind of her. Natasha surprises herself by how fast she arrives outside your door, knocking six times rapidly she cluches herself goosebumps running over her skin despite heating up.

"Mmmh well well well what do we have here."

Steve's voice cuts through Natasha like a knife.

"Where'd you go last night omega? I thought we'd have a little fun."

His eyes are predatory, evil and Natasha isn't sure if in her state she has the strength to fight the alpha off.

"No Steve."

The alphas nostrils flare taking the direct rejection as a challenge.

"Who are you to tell me no omega bitch?"

He growls and Natasha growls back. Steve grabs Natasha's wrist harshly tugging her into his space but before he could do more you appear pouncing on him like a feral animal. Your growl shakes Natasha with its intensity as you throw blow after blow at the man you tackled.

"You little alpha piece of shit, it's dumbasses like you that give alphas a bad name."

You hit him across the face repeatedly your pent up frustations taken out on him one by one. You loose yourself in your anger, he touched your omega how dare he. It isn't until Natasha is trying to pull you back screaming at you to stop that you see the true damage you've done to your fellow super soilder your knuckles covered in his blood. Standing you spit on him before kicking him one last time.

"Touch my omega again and I'll kill you."

You say deathly low before pulling the distressed omega through your door locking it securely behind you. You immediately begin to scan her, eyes and hands running over her body to confirm her safety and once you're satisfied you let out a verbal sigh of relief. You pull Natasha into you holding her close and breathing in her scent.

"I"m sorry. I stepped out to grab a snack I should of been here. Did he hurt you?"

Tears appear in Natasha's eyes, at the way you'd fiercely protected her. At the way you'd cared for her and Natasha knows with certainty she wants you.

"No."

Natasha whispers and it doesn't seems to be enough pulling back you scan her again double checking her for any signs of foul play.

"I'm sorry for verbally claiming you, my instincts took over and I had to protect you."

Natasha fights back her tears as she looks at your concerned face.

"Don't apologize alpha, I want you. Claim me. Make me yours."

Your eyes shoot to the green ones infornt of you. Her easily ignored heat due to your adrenaline now burning your nostrils.

"Are you sure? This isn't just the heat talking is it?"

Natasha laughs happy tears finally falling which she quickly wipes away.

"Yes alpha, I'm sure."

You surge foreward meeting her lips in a passionate kiss and lifting her in your arms. You take her to your bed never breaking the kiss overwhelmed with a need to be attached to the omega laying her lightly you break away from her lips only to travel down to her neck. Hesitating at her scent gland you take a deep breath before pulling back the omega below you whines but you ignore it urging her attention elsewhere.

"I wasn't sure you would come but just in case I stacked blankets, clothes, and pillows here so that you may nest."

Natasha's eye buldge before shooting to the pile you gestured at.

"I noticed you nesting at the beginning of your last heat and I want you to be comfortable. I tried to keep my scent to a bare minimum as not to overwhelm you."

You pull away completely allowing Natasha to turn over and crawl towards the pile, watching her take in all the fabrics and items.

"Nest omega, I want you to be comfortable."

Natasha turns to you again lifting on her knees before pulling you into a tight embrace that you return before she turns and gets to work you merely stand by and watch enjoying the attention Natasha gives to every little detail of her nest. Your eyes wonder to your hands and you quickly step towards the bathroom washing off the evidence of Steve beating. It only takes five minutes and you are surprised by the speed at which she works but don't deny her needy whines when she lays to stare at you.

"May I enter your nest?"

"Of course alpha."

You crawl back over the omega giving her a sweet kiss before pulling her shirt above her head glad yet unsurprised to find nothing underneath. Throwing the shirt towards the edge of the nest so it can have her scent you move your lips to her chest.

"My beautiful omega."

You whisper against her skin before you trail love bites down. Corrupting her perfect milky skin with your dark purple marks. You suck on both of her nipples getting them rock hard before continuing down. Your eyes get darker with every claiming mark you leave and as you get to her lower stomach your fingers hook her shorts swiftly pulling them down. Your mouth begins to water as her shorts are discarded elsewhere. Pushing her knees to her chest you come eye to eye with the feast of her slick.

"You smell so good omega."

Natasha whines in response hips wiggling in your hold. Without hesitation you begin your meal, lapping up her slick like a dehydrated dog. Her sweet nectar addicting and you can't get enough. You slurp and suck at her bud cause loud moans to fall from the red head.

"Feels so good alpha."

Natasha moans back arching of the bed. You growl against her center tongue entering her in search of more of her juices and Natasha releases a high pitch squeal. Hips bucking in time with your tongue before she spasms and you're rewarded with her orgasm straight in your mouth.

"You taste so good omega."

You growl against her, lips trailing to the back of her thighs leaving dark purple to match her abdomen.

"Mine."

You growl against her skin before moving up to meet her lips in a sloppy kiss. Natasha meets you with equal passion arms wrapping tightly around you holding you close.

"I need you alpha, it hurts."

You lift to your knees in response quickly pulling your shirt over your head and taking off your bra before removing your shorts and boxers. You spring out releasing a small sigh of relief as you being to pump yourself.

"Fill me up alpha, claim me."

Natasha whispers and you possessivly growl. Rubbing your cock through her slick you use her juices as lubricant before slowly slipping in. Natasha moans at your intrusion the wonderful strech making her feel whole. You enter her space pressing your chest against her you hold her tightly one arm tucking under her back the other tucking behind her neck hand holding the back of her neck your lips meet hers. Natasha holds you back tightly bodies molded together as you begin to pump into her roughly. High pitched whines enter your mouth as you kiss Natasha, devouring her mouth until its clear she needs air.

"My beautiful omega. Mine. Mine. Mine."

You whisper against her lips burying yourself as deeply as you can before pulling out again.

"Yours alpha, yours."

Natasha whines before spasming as she orgasms. You tuck your head into her scent gland taking deep breaths of the omegas scent. Natasha does the same your scent surrounding her, your body pressed against her, you planted deep inside her. The red head feels like she's going crazy. Her skin buzzes as her fingers run into your hair holding your head closer to her neck. She's on fire yet she needs more, she needs more of you.

"Mark me alpha. I'm yours, make me yours."

You open your mouth trailing your teeth against Natasha skin causing electricity to run through the omega.

"Mine."

You growl against her skin before sinking your canines into her scent gland. Natasha's eyes roll into the back of her head, an unbelievable orgasm washing over her body. The pleasure is intense orgasm stretching on for what feels like years. Her slick leaks out of her in waves as you pound her and her nails dig into your back. By the time Natasha comes down from the high she's drunk on you. A blabbering mess of noises.

"Alpha. Alpha."

Natasha whimpers over and over again and you finally release her neck licking at the mark.

"Omega, my omega."

You pump into her wildly riding on the high of your mating mark. Natasha clenches around you again another orgasm washing over her as your knot begins to slam at her entrance.

"My personal cum dump, you're gonna take it aren't you omega? Take my knot and get filled with my seed. Swollen with my pups only mine."

Moans escapse Natasha at your words nails digg8ng into your skin.

"Yes alpha, fill me up. I need it, I need your pups inside me."

You pump into her faster your own moans escaping at her words using her for your own pleasure.

"Fuck. Yeah take it omega. You feel so good I could pump into you all day. Fuck squeezing me for all I'm worth."

Your hips begin to stutter as your lips return to hers in a loving kiss, arms wrapping around her tighter your bodies are pressed together as closely as they can be. You continue to work your knot against her entrance feeling how her slick pours out to accommodate you. Breaking the kiss you return to her scent gland teeth sinking into her once more as you knot slips in. Natasha's eyes roll back at the combined feeling of your bite, your warm load seeping into her, and your knot the pleasure so good she nearly passes out. Releasing her neck you lick the wound again before placing light kisses on it.

"Mine."

"Yours."

You hum in satisfaction.

"Bite me omega, mark me as yours."

Tears threaten Natasha's eyes again at your words, rare was the alpha who wore an omegas mark. Many refusing to allow themselves to be publicly tied to one omega and with your words Natasha is once again reassured she chose the right alpha. The red head sinks her canines into your scent gland a light growl releasing from her as she does and is satisfied when she feels another hot spurt of your cum shoot into her.

"Mine."

Natasha whispers against your skin as she licks at the bite.

"Yours."

You whisper back allowing yourself to relax ontop of Natasha baring your whole body weight against her. Three days later by the end of Natasha's heat you feel maybe a bit overly possessive of the female. You haven't left your room since Steve threatened your omega and as the time to break your mating bubble nears you find yourself wanting to be near the omega at all times. Laying in her nest you snuggle into the omegas body, front pressed against her back arm wrapped around her waist. You nuzzle her neck enjoying the way her scent is now mixed with yours and can't help the light possessive growl that rumbles at the back of your throat.

"My beautiful omega."

The omega coos back at you and you release a relaxed sigh.

"We should get you cleaned up and fed."

You say as you begrudgingly sit up causing the omega below you to whine. She rolls over wrapping her arms around you.

"Do we have to?"

You laugh lightly running your fingers through red tresses.

"Yes, you haven't had a proper meal in three days." You shuffle around finding Natasha clothes and handing them to her. Throwing on your old clothes you grab some clean ones as well before walking to your door.

"Come on we'll shower in your room."

The omega nods and stretches before walking towards you. Opening the door you both quietly walk down the hallway enjoying the fresh air. The walk to the omegas room is quiet but peaceful, she stays close to your side the small distance between you two after such a passionate heat seeming like to much. In Natasha's room the two of you shower together, you make love to her one more time in the shower soft and slow before you truly have to return to the reality of the real world.

"I will always protect you omega, you're safe with me."

You hum into her neck as she rides the after shocks of her orgasm.

"My alpha."

The hums back fingers running softly against the back of your neck.

"My omega."

[strrykais]

you were quite frustrated that donghyuck didn't give you -at least- a 2 hour notice on him bailing. you couldn't fault him though, school has been busy and your friends have less and less time to hang out with you. you asked hyungseo to watch with you but he threw out another excuse of working. you sigh walking out the main apartment building making the walk to the observatory.

the yard on the lower part of the observatory was filled with people. either waiting to get inside for the large telescope or they had their own with a picnic blanket laid out. you start walking towards the line hoping maybe they will let people in. after a while you heard your name being called. looking around you don't see anybody calling, as you turn back you hear it again only this time louder. turning you see jisung running towards you. his face full of worry. you realize that he isnt stopping, you brace yourself for when his hard body slams right into you. his quick breath hitting the top of your hair he hugs you. when it feels like forever he pushes you an arms width away, inspecting your body. you continue to stare at him as his hands wander over your arms till they reach up and cup your face.

with both his cold hands on your cheeks, they start to turn pink. before you can ask what's wrong he beats you to it.

"are you okay?" he stares into your eyes. you couldn't help but look at the shine in them. its like he held the brightest star in his eyes. almost as if the stars reflect off his eyes. clearing your throat, you shake off his hands, face still burning.

"i'm okay? are you?" you ask with a little laugh.

"yeah. haechan and renjun said you were in trouble, i came running from my studio when they said you needed help." words coming out fast, as he tries to catch his breath.

"jisung your studio is like across the campus, you ran all the way here?" you say stunned, you were touched, you wanted to cry. you knew jisung meant a lot to you but this was starting to get scary. you give him a smile.

"im fine ji, i think they may of been playing a prank on you." you watch as he lets out a breath of relief letting his forehead fall on your shoulder. you freeze, you didn't know what to do. so you continue to stare ahead of you.

you hear him mumble something, not quite catching it, you hum.

"im sorry yn. i shouldn't have gotten mad at you like that. and i should've apologized the moment i knew i upset you. i missed you. i missed chatting with you about classes or playing stupid little games on the phone with you. i just miss you." his head still laid on your shoulder. you shift and look down at him as he turns his head a little to glance at you.

"i missed you too jisung."

jisung exhales and fully wraps his arms around you face buried in your neck. his slow breathes hitting your neck as you reach out to wrap your arms around him. engulfing yourself into his warm smell. you knew this hug was going on for too long, but you allowed jisung to continue until he wanted to let go. finally after a while he gently lets go of you taking a few steps back.

reaching into your coat pocket you pull out the two tickets you had, "care to join me to watch a star explode?" you wag the tickets out in front of you both.

jisung nods "let's go see the stars."

lie with you - so let's go see the stars

word count : 626

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a/n : i dont really have anything to say but its weird not talking in here. :/ anyways i hope you enjoy!

tags : @onlyhyunjin @nctjunie

[sleepyqweeb189]

TRIGGER WARNING: Self-harm thoughts.

Before we start: if you are suffering from self harm. Please try and tell someone or get help.

Alexa shot up from a bed. Alexa looked around but only found themselves in a random room. Alexa couldn't think any further as she suddenly vomitted on the bed. Alexa started to cry a bit as she was never a fan when it came to vomiting. The doors burst open as a couple of cookies came in, picking Alexa up, pulling her away from the bed, and letting Alexa rest her head above a bucket in case she threw up again. While the other cookies cleaned up the sheets and started to wash them in a different room. Alexa threw up a lot for a good couple of hours until she stopped once Alexa's body vomited out the chemicals back at Hollybarry kingdom. Alexa was still crying. The servents with Alexa helped her go back into bed and rest. Alexa tried to get up but was pushed back gently onto the bed. Alexa whined but gave up and just shifted to her side. Alexa quickly fell back into slumber... since vomiting took a lot out of her energy...

Alexa woke up the next morning and was feeling better, but she was still sick. What's worse is that her teeth hurt... a lot... Alexa thought it was that fact she hadn't brushed her teeth much when she fell into this world. Could she blame herself? She didn't have a toothbrush or anything. Alexa has only been using just her fingers and water. Alexa was about to get up, but she heard someone come in.

"Oh! You're awake! You shouldn't be getting up. Here, I'll carry you to the medical wing. We must do checkups..." The cookie that came in picked up Alexa snd carry with ease.

The hallways were dark chocolate and different shades of purple. Alexa feels like royalty for a second. But Alexa snaps out of her mind as Alexa is brought into a room. Alexa was placed on a futon. The cookies healers kneel down next to Alexa.

"Dear, i need to check your injuries, then i must ask a couple of questions." Healer cookie 1 spoke.

Cookie healer 2 took off Alexa's durumagi coat and started to change Alexa's old bandages that were stained with her blood. Alexa whines in pain and almost vomited again but had nothing to vomit. So it just came out as lots of gagging. Healer cookie 2 finished changing Alexa's bandages and left with the dirty ones.

"So, like i said before, I will ask you questions. I hope you answer honestly." Healer cookie 1 spoke sternly.

"Yes yes... i will tell you everything..." Alexa was scared yet more calmer.

"Ok, good. Now, what is your name? And how old are you?" Healer cookie 1 asked.

"I um... I am Alexa Suzuki... i am turning 16 soon..." Alexa fidgets a bit with the pillow.

"Do you have any medical records or anything i should know about?" Healer cookie 1 asked while writing down things.

"Oh! Um... the only thing i have is just that I'm lactose intolerant and umm... thats it?" Alexa answered.

"Good. Alexa, what is the last thing you remember?" Healer cookie 1 spoke a little bit more calmer.

"Umm... i don't... i dont well... All i remember is being thrown into water and trying to swim... but... i don't really know how to swim. " Alexa looks down, feeling ashamed for being so old yet doesn't know how to swim.

"That makes sense." Healer cookie mumbled.

"Huh?" Alexa felt confused.

"We found you when one of those... "licorice sea" blobs things came in and brought you. " Healer cookie 1 explained.

Alexa suddenly felt a sharp pain in her mouth. Healer cookie 1 notices and holds up Alexa chin and opens her mouth.

"Has your teeth always been this sharp?" Healer cookie 1 pulls away.

Alexa shakes her head. Healer cookie 1 one holds up a mirror to Alexa. Alexa wanted to scream but didn't, and only looked scared. Alexa touched her mouth and her teeth. Her teeth were sharp. Alexa felt her chest tightening, her breathing was becoming short, and tears started to weld up in my eyes. Alexa felt like throwing up, but she couldn't... she couldn't... there was nothing to vomit... it was just full-on gagging on nothing... dry heaving...

Healer cookie 1 got worried and grabbed a nearby bucket just in case. Alexa was sweating a lot as the tears dripped down her cheeks. Alexa kept dry heaving until she passed out.

Alex later woke up back up a couple of minutes later. Alexa turned her head to the side to see Healer cookie 1 near her. Alexa sat up and turned to face her body toward the healer.

"Um.. sorry..." Alexa apologized.

"What are you sorry for?" Healer cookie 1 asked

"I don't know... im just saying sorry in case i troubled you or upset you..." Alexa mumbled.

"I always feel the need to say sorry..." Alexa fidgets with her fingers.

"You have nothing to apologize for. It happens, unfortunately, but you can't do anything about it." Healer cookie 1 tries ease Alexa worries.

"I... I um... Do you have food..? I'm a bit hungry, sorry..." Alexa asked quietly.

Healer cookie 1 nods and gets up. Healer cookie 1 eent over and grabbed a tray. Healer cookie 2 sets the tray down in front of Alexa. Alexa looks at the food in pure amusement. There was rice, jelly soup, some chocolate oranges, and some more, but it was mostly soft food and soup. Alexa didn't complain, but she was a bit picky. Alexa slowly ate to make sure she didn't appear rude. But after a bit of savoring the flavor and the food. Alexa was surprised and ate a bit faster of the food. After eating, Alexa looks up and notices that Healer Cookie 1 isn't here anymore. Alexa was about to get up but decided to stay. Walking around doesn't seem like a good idea at the moment. Alexa put her fingers in her mouth to feel around her teeth. Her teeth felt sharper, and pointy than the last couple of times she felt them. Alexa wonders what happened to her back at the Hollyberry kingdom. So far, no cookie seems what they seem. Every ancient she came so far has been wrong. Alexa saw a mirror and crawled to it, not attempting to get up.

Warning: scars, S/H scars

Alexa hated how she looked now... the bandages, her scars.... Alexa immediately heard the door slide open. Alexa immediately tried to crawl back to make to the her futon to make it seem like she was there the whole time, but it failed. Both Alexa and the group of cookies stared at each other for a second. Alexa stumbled getting up, greeted them, but fell back on her knees.

"Oh, um... I was... um... I was eating..." Alexa attempted to make the awkwardness go away.

"So, you are Alexa Suzuki, correct?" The first watcher looks down at Alexa.

"Yes.... yes, yes! I'm Alexa! I um... I'm sorry...." Alexa apologizes again.

"Well... come here, i want to talk to you alone, " the first watcher ordered.

Alexa got up and followed the first watcher while leaning close to the wall. The hallways were long and far. Alexa looked out and saw the winter storm. The howls of the wind, if it was night time, Alexa would probably scream, "Windigo!" But she knew no cookie would get the refrance. Alexa kept following the first watcher to a big door.

"My king asked, 'Why are you here?'..." the first watcher asked without facing her.

"Oh! Um... i..." Alexa held her head down.

Alexa does wonder... why is she here...? Alexa was just playing Cookie Run Kingdom a couple of weeks ago. First, this Pure Vanilla talks about "Taking away my pain." Then, this version of Hollyberry kidnapped me and Patrya dragon. What else?! Dark Cacao being an asshole?! Golden Cheese being in crazy denial?! And White Lily is dead?!

"To be honest... I really dont know myself... one moment I'm home then next moment here... plus, it wasn't my fault. Hollyberry-" Alexa was interrupted.

"It's Dragonberry. Dragonberry is her new name. Not. Hollyberry." The first watcher explained.

"Oh... well, Dragonberry threw me into the water after I... well... pulled on her hair... i think i also saw some blood, too..." Alexa rubbed the back of her head while trying to hold back a smile.

The first watcher only stared back at Alexa. The first watcher turned away and entered into the big doors. Alexa stayed out there until dark. Alexa didn't know why she stayed, probably the fear of being yelled at. One of the other watchers came to Alexa and excorted her to a room. Alexa noticed that the room was in a different room than the last one she woke up. The room was more furnished, and there was a small bag of sweets, filled with milk chocolate.

"..... i can't tell if that's an insult or by mistake..." Alexa thought to herself.

Alexa noticed a new bag. Alexa decided to save the food in case. Alexa thought something for a second... do cookies even use the bathroom...? This is more confusing than the discussions about how cookies procreate... is by the bird and the bees? Or is it by baking them? Alexa shook her head and decided not to think too much. She knows cookies have bathrooms except but... toilet.... toilet... toilet...?

"TOILET?!" Alexa screams out.

The door suddenly opened. A servent asked if Alexa was ok. Alexa nodded before the servent left. Alexa decided to head to bed. Alexa went to bed and hoped this was just a very long dream.

Alexa immediately woke up. It was still night. Alexa tried to look at her phone but remembered she didn't have anything. Alexa felt too scared to fall back asleep. Alexa wanted to calm down, so she got up and looked around for a razor blade to calm her down. Alexa couldn't find any and decided to explore the castle a bit to find one.

Walking along the halls. The halls were all long and confusing as a labyrinth. The hallways were barely lit with small purple flames. Alexa hears the wind again from the storm. Alexa ran to the farest window and yelled, "WINDIGO!" Nothing happened, and just the wind got heavier. Alexa giggled until she turned her head and saw purple eyes staring at her. Alexa didn't scream but ran off. Alexa got lost halfway but kept running until she entered a random room. Alexa suddenly felt cold. She looked around to find to sorce, but the closer she got to the throne, the more cold she got. Alexa knew she couldn't stay longer. Alexa makes it out of the throne room. Alexa makes it back to her room somehow. Alexa didn't notice the ice melting away from her feet and arms.

The next morning, Alexa woken up. The door opened, and the first watcher came back to her. The first water asked Alexa to get ready and gave her clothes. Alexa gets changed and follows the first watcher. They get outside to the training ground.

"I want to ask. How did you get your injuries?" The first watcher turns to her.

The first watcher saw her cuts when they first met but knew better than not to ask about them. The first watcher didn't want Alexa to feel uncomfortable about it and feel awkward during their time here.

"Um... Pure Vanilla-" Alexa was interrupted once again by the watcher.

"Saint Vanilla. It's Saint Vanilla now." The first watcher corrected Alexa once again.

"Oh! Um.. Saint Vanilla grabbed my right wrist and... and i guess he used magic... and... and my wrist burned like acid...." Alexa stuttered.

"What else? I saw the report from the healers. It stated that you had multiple glass shards," the first watcher questions more.

"Well... when I was in the Hollyberry kingdom, i was tricked and well... kidnapped. I was kept in a cell and given food... a lot of it surprisingly... but every day, i was asked to give my blood every day... and... and when i tried to attack her, i was thrown and crashed into a table full of glass stuff...." Alexa explained.

"Alright. I was tasked to help you in defending yourself against the others. What are you good at?" The first watcher asked.

"Um... im not very good... i mean, im good at dodging, but... not to... not well...." Alexa sheeply scratches the back of her head.

The first watcher nodded. He pulled out his bow and shot the ground near Alexa's feet. Alexa didn't know what to do, but the first watcher kept shooting near her feet. Alexa started to run around the area. The first watcher notes that Alexa is good at dodging but needs a better stance. This keeps going until Alexa trips and falls to the ground into the snow. Alexa coughs and gags a lot. The first watcher brought Alexa back inside.

"Sorry... the cold weather makes my throat too dry..." Alexa explains.

"It's best to breathe through your nose - wait... have we had noses this whole time..?" The first watcher thought.

Alexa shrugs. Alexa asked if she could learn about staff fighting. The first watcher nods and calls over another watcher who specializes in Bojutsu. The other watcher was called Hershey Cookie. Alexa nodded, but she blushed a bit. Hershey looked so cool and badass.

The first watcher gave Alexa over to Hershey Cookie and asked Hershey Cookie to train Alexa to be good at Bō. Hershey cookie nodded. From that day, the first watcher handed Alexa to Hershey Cookie to train and defend herself against the other Ancients. Alexa had strict rules when training started. Alexa wasn't very good. Alexa had average stamina but bad cardio. The training was slow, and each day of training was painful. But Alexa was getting better progress. Alexa and Hershey had the "Menter and The Student" relationship. When the first watcher would watch from time to time, Alexa would have it rough when the first watcher wastches. But the moment he leaves, Hershey makes jokes and has Alexa to take a break. They both learn each other equally, mostly about Hershey Cookie and her bragging. But Alexa only listens and laughs a bit.

This training lasted for 2 months. Alexa wasn't as great as Hershey Cookie, but she was able to hold her off for a bit.

"You gotten very better! I wish you could stay, but it sounds like you want to find a way home." Hershey Cookie.

"Yeah... i need to get home..." Alexa gripped tighten around the staff.

"Welp, i teached you what i can. Today, you can rest. Then we will get you ready for your leave tomorrow." Hershey Cookie left the training room.

Alexa sat alone in the training room. Alexa looks at the staff she was gifted. It was purple and strong. Alexa looks around and licks it but flinches back. Bitter. Alexa stands up with the help of the staff. Alexa leaves the room and goes to her room. Alexa sits down on her bed. Alexa looked at herself in the mirror again and wondered, "Will i even go home if i even reached the end of the map?"

The next day was Alexa's last day here. Alexa packed her bag before she heard a knock on the door. She yelled that they could come in. It was Hershey Cookie and the first watcher with a small pouch. The first watcher explains that the pouch contain herbs and some instructions on how to use them. The first watcer puts it in Alexa's bag himself. Hershey Cookie smiled and started to lead Alexa to the outside. They pass by the doors of the throne room. Alexa told the first watcher and Hershey to wait for a second. The first watcher tried to tell Alexa no, but Alexa had already headed inside the throne room. Alexa could see Dark Cacao Cookie, but... looks different. Alexa suddenly felt the cold again but with the training, Alexa held back the shiver.

"Dark Cacao Cookie, sir... I'm not aware of the other Ancients, but... they were... not friendly and... i want to ask if.. you could tell me about them? Or something?" Alexa begged softly but dare didn't get close to the throne.

"....." Firigid Cacao. Cookie was silent.

"Oh.... um... well, if you won't tell me then... fine... i want to at least thank you for letting me stay..." Alexa thanked.

Alexa was heading out of the throne room, but he heard a soft, deep voice.

"The Sliver kingdom doesn't allow outsiders..." Firigid Cacao Cookie spoke but didn't speak further.

Alexa could only nod before leaving. Welp, this proves Alexa theory that White Lily cookie is dead. The first watcher looked surprised to see Alexa still moving and not frozen. Hershey Cookie scolded Alex a bit about going into the throne room without permission. Alexa felt really guilty and mumbled sorry. The 3 headed outside of the kingdom. Alexa swung the bag over her head and onto her shoulder. This is goodbye. Alexa turns around and looks over at the first watcher and Hershey Cookie.

"Bye! I will send you letters if i can! Sorry for my handwriting in advance!" Alexa waves her hand as she walks away and into the world.

"Bye, kid! You better show the skills i show you!" Hershey Cookie yelled out.

The creator of the AU: @cuppajj

[ssuperficialspacecadett]

i headcannon that benny and reader blast rihanna while closing the gym. it becomes a tradition that they blast music and dance around while closing. it gets to the point that the boys start wondering why benny keeps being late to their hangouts after his work. at some point they catch benny blowing his back out and reader recording and laughing at benny

Benny, Better Have My Money

Chapter Five | Drabble for the Through the Scope series | Chapter Six

*best read in between chapter 5 & 6*

Rating: IDK ?? everyone ??

Word Count: 1029

TW: tooth rotting friend fluff w/ Benny & some ass throwing ?!?!

Notes: anon, i wish i could kiss that beautiful brain of yours for thinking of this absolutely fucking hilarious scene thats now 100% canon in the through the scope series to me HAHAHA !! i hope i did some justice to your brilliant idea & thank u so so much for submitting it ((: this one is for u ! happy reading <3

*i wrote this w/o looking over it because the idea was just to good so if you see any grammatical errors.. no you dont*

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Closing up after a long shift was never fun. Well, it was never fun until you started working for Benny. After the last guests were ushered out and the doors were locked, you were put in charge of the gyms music. It was only fair since Benny had free reign during operating hours after all. Plus, your taste in music wasn’t exactly family friendly. 

“Alright, what are we feeling this evening? Lady Gaga? Megan Thee Stallion? Doja Cat? Maybe some Rico Nasty? What artist really says ‘I want to clean this whole gym and look hot while doing it’ to you?” 

“The evening song choices are all yours. I’m way too tired to even think about makin’ another decision right now.”

“Well,” You say as you start scrolling through artists on his phone to find one that will bring the energy that both of you need to get this done. “If you’re so tired, why are you going out with the guys after this?” 

“You know that doesn’t count.” He’s currently working his way through cloroxing all the workout benches and weights. “The only decision I have to make when I’m there is if I want another drink or not and that's easy. Of course I want another fuckin’ drink!” 

“Touché,” You laugh as you find the perfect playlist for the evening. “Let’s get this cleaning party started!” 

Rhianna’s Bitch Better Have My Money starts blasting at full volume from the gym's speakers as you make your way over to the basket full of used towels. 

Bitch, better have my money

Y’all should know me well enough

Bitch, better have my money

Please don’t call me on my bluff

Pay me what you owe me

“Oh fuck yeah! I love Rhianna!” He yells as he turns to you. 

You pull out a towel, point to him from across the gym, and start swinging it over your head as you lip sync to the song playing. 

Kamikaze if you think that you gon’ knock me of the top

Shit, your wife in the back seat of my brand new foreign car

Don’t act like you forgot

I call the shot, shot, shots.

Benny makes finger guns and pretends to fire them at you on each beat. “Sing it, girl!”

The two of you run dramatically to each other in the middle of the gym and start dancing like crazed animals. Each of your tasks having been long forgotten as soon as the music started. You both know by now that neither one of you will be leaving anytime soon.

***

“Where the fuck is your brother, Will?” Pope huffs.

Frankie, Pope, and Will have all been waiting at their table for Benny to show up for 45 minutes now. They turned the waitress away three times before they caved and ordered a round for themselves. Hoping that a light buzz would satiate them.

“I’ve been texting him, but he’s not answerin’!” Will explains. “His location says that he’s still at the gym.” He turns his phone screen over to show the others.

“This is the third time this week that he’s been late. He’s never taken this long to close up before.” Frankie adds. 

Pope tips his almost empty beer bottle in his direction and nods. “Fuck this. Finish y’alls drinks and let's go pay him a visit.”

They all do as Pope orders and make their way out of the bar. As they cross the street and enter the gym’s parking lot they see both yours and Benny’s cars in the same spots that they were in this morning. All of the lights in the building are still on as well. 

“Do y’all hear that?” Frankie asks the men walking next to him. “It sounds like -”

“Rhianna?” Pope says curiously. 

All three of them walk up to the gym doors and the sight that greets them will be burned into each and every one of their minds for all eternity. 

***

You’re currently holding onto one of the corner poles from the boxing ring with both hands and trying to explain to Benny how to shake his ass.

“Move your hips to the right, then the left, then shimmy down, and use your knees to help you bring your ass up and down!” You’re winded from both teaching your lesson and singing with Benny for almost an hour straight. It also doesn’t help that you’re trying to yell instructions over Rhianna’s S&M song.

“I think I got it now! Let me try!” 

He helps you down so he can climb up and get into position. You pick up your towel and phone off a nearby workout bench. There is no way that you aren’t going to document this moment.

‘Cause I may be bad, but I’m perfectly good at it

Sex in the air, I don’t care, I love the smell of it

Stick and stone may break my bones

“But chains and whips excite me!” You and Benny sing together.

You are struggling to hold your phone still as you record because you can’t stop laughing. Benny is throwing everything, and you mean everything, into his one man performance on the edge of the boxing ring. He definitely paid attention to what you showed him. Even put his own little twist on it by bringing his right hand back to slap his ass. You can’t help but get swept away in it all and you start hitting him in the ass with your towel as well.

“Let’s go, Benny! Shake that shit for me!” Your lungs threaten to burst from over exhaustion. 

S-S-S&M-M-M

S-S-S&M-M-M

Oh, I love the feeling you bring to me

Oh, you turn me on

***

“Should we tell them we are here?” Will ask hesitantly, still not entirely sure what he’s watching.

“I’m not even sure what we would say if we told them.” Frankie quips as he wishes you would get back up and dance again. “Pope?”

He looks to his left and sees him pulling up your contact information. “Let’s tell them that their audience wants an encore.” Pope presses ‘call’ and puts the phone to his ear with a devious grin.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

{tag list: @cutesyscreenname @rsquared31 @smol-beb @bitchwitch1981 @avastrasposts @hoeslingz @saltybutteredtoast @javicstories @c-justhere @pimosworld @modernperplexity @beboldbebravethings @modernperplexity  @mxtokko  @moonliqhtszn @tanzthompson @megcads @myloveistoolittle @casa-boiardi @jitterbugs927 @partyofone3413 @pedrit0-pascalit0 }

[archangeldyke-all]

Hi!! I hope you aren't being bombarded with asks rn! Now as much as I love my girl Sev, I was wondering if I can see more content on Ran. Like how did the relationship between Ran and Reader came to be and what happens in the relationship, soft things and NSFW things. They don't get enough rep 😭 (also I love your content pls dont stop 🙏🙏)

yes i love them!!!

men and minors dni

you guys are childhood sweethearts.

you meet when you're kids, you're each other's first crush and kiss, and then ran's family moves to the other side of zaun so you never see them again.

you guys meet again fifteen years later when you start working for silco.

the second you see each other it's like nothing's changed. you're back to being a kid again, laughing and goofing off and nervously flirting with ran. they still cut their own hair, they're still frighteningly accurate at darts, and they're even more beautiful than you remember.

silco catches on pretty quick that you and ran are practically attached at the hip now, so he lets you guys work together most days.

you guys have really similar taste. you spent your most formative years constantly by one another's side, so it's no surprise that you guys tend to like the same foods, aesthetics, genres etc.

it leads to ran constantly stealing your shit. you guys go out for dinner? ran's eating off your plate half the night. you're listening to a great new album? ran snatches the vinyl to take to work with them to show thieram. even your clothes!

though ran tends to dress in various shades of grey, black, and white, they jump at the opportunity to wear something of yours, even if it's rainbow tie-dyed.

you steal their stuff too, just to keep things even. though, usually your thievery has more mischievous motives than ran's.

like when you steal all their belts so they have to break out their suspenders. you fucking love when they wear them, it's like a built-in, appropriate for public harness for you to use. all it takes is one gentle tug on one of the straps resting on their shoulders and ran's eyes are getting big and dark.

ran's most definitely a rope bunny. they love being tied up and at your mercy. they love struggling against the binds and trying to break free-- they especially love when they do manage to break free and pin you to the mattress to have you exactly how they want you.

you call them houdini with the way they're always slipping out of their bonds.

they're the switchiest switch to ever switch. they love bottoming. they love topping. they love it all.

ran's quiet in public, but they're the life of the party when they're around people they trust. you, sevika, and lock are some of the few people who get to see their full personality shine.

they're a total fucking goofball, always cracking jokes and teasing their friends. they're strangely happy-go-lucky for a citizen of zaun, it's one of your favorite things about them. they're like a little ray of sunshine inside a very buff and grungy exterior.

they've got this adorable giggle of a laugh, it's fucking infectious. once they start, everyone else is laughing within seconds-- just from how cute their laugh is.

they're really into the live music scene in the undercity, and they're usually the one setting up various bands and dj's and singers to perform at the last drop on the weekends.

they're a shit singer themselves, but they're the type of person who can pick up any instrument and figure it out within a week. your apartment is always littered in various home-made instruments-- drum-sets made from old buckets, horns from old pipes, rubber bands stretched over boards as make shift guitars.

they'll always play you music when you can't sleep. your neighbors hate you guys-- there's always music leaking into their apartments at odd hours of the night.

ran's partially blind in their left eye, which is why they don't mind having their bangs obstructing the view. it also makes their accuracy with their knives and machetes and darts ten times more impressive.

taglist!

@fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner @shimtarofstupidity @chuucanchuucan @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther @gr0ssz0mbi3 @ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @leomatsuzaki @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai @vikasub @glass-apothecary @m0numents @macaroni676 @vixel352

[humanitys-strongest-bamf]

writing this because my doctors office made me feel sad

this is purely self-indulgent. sorry if its not what anyone's looking for

shout-out to @chaotic-on-main and @levis-squishy-cheeks for helping me work through this today

pairing: levi x reader

word count: 1.9k

tw: implied suicidal thoughts, descriptions of depressive symptoms

notes: modern!au, soft!levi, depressed!reader, hurt/comfort, idk i needed this dont judge me

You had spent the night crying yourself to sleep again.

Prior to that, you had spent the entire day thinking that your brain was falling apart. Your mood went from 0-100 within the span of a second. There was no pattern. You'd be fine one minute and then swing to the other end of the emotional spectrum the next. It was exhausting.

If it wasn't for Levi and his unwavering support, you wouldn't be sure if you would still be alive. It was hell having to deal with this. If it wasn't for him, you'd be fully convinced that no one wanted you around.

Your eyes slowly peeled open as you stared at the empty ceiling above you. You felt like you were experiencing the world through a muffled filter. You heard and saw everything that was going on around you, but it felt like a lucid dream.

You couldn't move. Even getting your finger to twitch took all your energy.

Your eyes looked to the side and you saw that the sun was shining directly into the upper window.

You had slept in again.

Not only that, you had slept in much past the "normal" wakeup time.

You slowly tilted your head up to look at the clock resting on the edge of your nightstand.

2:00pm.

You had gone to bed the previous night at 7:00pm and then slept up until now. You haven't had a full meal in at least two days. You haven't showered for a week. Guilt tore away at what remaining self-love you had in you. Levi helped keep you together and you absolutely hated that he had to shoulder the burden that was keeping you around.

You turned back over to stare at the ceiling again, counting to yourself as you poured your energy into being able to freely move your fingers and toes. When you were finally able to open and close your fist at ease, you looked back at the clock again.

2:45pm.

You let out a defeated sigh. You weren't going to make it on time at this point. You had an appointment at 3:30pm for a bi-annual checkup for a medical condition that you had recently developed.

However, you figured that as long as you showed up in some capacity, no matter how little, you would count that as a win for the day. You could always just hop back into bed afterwards. All you had to do was make it in and hope the results indicated at least some improvement on your end.

~~~~~

"You need to lose weight. You need to exercise more. You need to get outside."

"Well, my depression makes that really hard so-"

"Losing weight will help with that. It'll help you manage your hormones and stabilize your mood."

You gripped at the blanket in rage, curling up into a ball, hoping that you would just shrink away and disappear. Getting up was a waste of time. The only thing that happened was you going into that shitty doctor's office to get berated and invalidated for an hour. Getting up was a mistake.

After arriving back home, you immediately dropped your stuff to the ground and climbed back into bed without even changing into your home clothes. Everything that had happened today made being awake for another minute seem like a living hell.

~~~~~

He knew something was wrong the minute he stepped through the door.

He had seen that your car had shifted its spot on the driveway, indicating that it had been used.

Levi looked forward into the dark apartment that you two shared, knowing that you were home. While he wouldn't have been too surprised at the fact that the lights were off normally, the fact that your car moved meant that you had gotten out of bed, left the house, and immediately went back in upon arriving home.

That in itself was already better compared to the past few days, but it didn't bring him any ease. Just because you made it out of the house didn't mean that you were doing any better.

Once he stepped inside and flipped on the light switch, he saw that your stuff had been haphazardly thrown on the ground, leading a trail into the bedroom.

He sighed, knowing that this behavior wasn't normal. Something had happened.

Levi peeked into the bedroom, a grim look appearing on his face once he saw you cocooned into the blankets. He slowly walked over and gently sat next to you, leaning down a bit so he could see your face.

"Still low today?" he asked quietly.

He heard you emit a quiet whine as you shuffled, burying yourself further into your fortress.

You hid in the dark safety of your bed for a few minutes before feeling the bed slightly shift and hearing your bedroom door close. You peeked out of the blanket and saw that Levi had left. Upon focusing more, you heard movement in the kitchen.

After about a minute, your neck started complaining from you maintaining your elevated position. Since you lacked the energy to fully readjust, you simply laid back down.

You heard the door open again after a while and you glanced over as you saw Levi bring over a mug of freshly brewed tea and a small bowl of soup.

Levi knew of the fact that you hadn't been eating properly for the past few days. While that thought was slightly distressing, he also knew he couldn't force you to eat—and he didn't want to anyway if it was just going to cause you more distress. Besides, he knew that you wouldn't be able to keep anything solid down in this state, so soup was the next best option.

You quickly buried yourself in the blanket again. Levi having to deal with you just lying around in bed was bad enough, but it broke your heart to think of all the extra effort he had to put in to take care of you. It only reinforced the thoughts in your head that continued to tell you that you were a burden.

You actively cowered as you heard him set the mug and bowl down before sighing.

He didn't sound annoyed, but he definitely sounded exasperated—or maybe exhausted. You couldn't tell.

"I made you tea."

You felt him sit down next to you again as your head poked back out. You slowly sat up, avoiding eye contact out of embarassment. While you wanted to continue hiding, you also knew that sipping on his brews provided you some of that comfort that you desperately needed right now.

You quietly sipped at the tea, while still avoiding eye contact.

"I saw the car moved," he spoke, glancing right at you.

You didn't answer.

You saw him tilt his head out of the corner of your eye as he spoke again.

"I assume you made it in?"

You didn't answer.

"It's okay if you didn't."

You felt your hand slightly shaking as he said that last phrase. He has said it over and over and over again whenever you were in these states.

It's okay.

He never knew if those words truly got through to you, but he went ahead and provided you that consistent reminder that no matter how bad things felt or how "useless" you felt, that you were enough.

You unsteadily placed the mug back onto the nightstand, still looking down.

"I did," you said quietly.

With the state he had found you in, and based off of how you responded just now, he was able to tell that it didn't go well. He didn't know the details as to what happened, but he didn't need to. All that mattered was that it went poorly and that you felt like shit because of it.

You felt him place his hand on your leg, giving it a gentle squeeze as you finally looked towards him.

"Almost everything was wrong," you whispered.

"Hmm?"

"Nearly everything that they could possibly measure was wrong," you spoke, your voice gradually increasing in volume. "Eating's wrong. Exercise is wrong. Even sleeping is wrong—and every time I tried to explain that it's impossible to keep track of all that when even dragging myself out of bed is impossible, they just ignored everything I was saying."

Levi quietly listened as you continued to describe your horrific experience with what was supposed to be a simple, routine check-up.

The past few days had been literal hell for you. It wasn't even that anything particularly bad happened. It was one of your occasional flare-ups that had been especially bad this time around. Your mood had been all over the place, your paranoia about everyone secretly plotting to abandon you had shot through the roof, and your self-hatred multiplied to the point that it was seething out of you.

"It's like the world just continues to tell me I'm defective. My brain's broken, my body's broken. Couldn't finish school. Can't keep a job," you said as you threw your hands in the air, feeling yourself getting heated and activated with every word you were saying.

You paused for a bit, taking deep breaths to try to calm yourself down.

"You're not defective, _____," Levi spoke.

You immediately averted your gaze. You didn't believe that for a single second.

Levi reached over and gently pushed at your shoulder to get your attention.

"Hey, look at me."

You didn't move.

He sighed, scooted forward, and gently grabbed onto your chin so he could turn you to face him. His eyes finally locked onto yours for the first time since he came home. He looked right into your eyes as he spoke.

"You are not defective. You are not broken."

You felt yourself wanting to shrink and hide again as he said those words. Although those words brought you comfort, they also stung, because they addressed your deeply rooted fears. You shook your head as you desperately tried to look back down and squirm out of his grasp, feeling tears building up in your eyes.

"A lot has happened in your life and that's okay."

He never took his eyes off you as he gently placed his other hand on the side of your face as a gesture of comfort.

"I love you for who you are and anyone else who questions you is a fucking idiot."

Upon feeling his touch and hearing those words, you placed one of your hands on his, using his presence to ground yourself.

You shakily nodded at him, the tears finally falling out of your eyes as you saw his gaze soften.

Upon seeing your tears, he pulled you into a tight hug, giving you a gentle squeeze as you silently cried against him.

You were so, so, grateful that he was there. At this point, he was probably the only person in the world that didn't make you feel like a complete and utter disaster. You buried your face into him, silently wishing that you could stay here forever and forget all of the other things in your life that continuously kicked you back down.

Levi placed a gentle kiss on the top of your head.

"Eat that soup before it gets cold," he said, slightly pulling away before pulling you in to a gentle kiss, wiping the stray tears off your face. "Depending on how you feel I'll take you on a drive afterwards. It'll at least help you get some air."

You gave him a small smile and nodded at him, slightly reaching out as he stood back up and grabbed your now empty mug to take back into the kitchen. As you watched him walk down the hallway, you felt that the heaviness in your heart had lifted ever so slightly.

You felt like shit. There was no doubting that—but the fact that Levi stuck with you despite all of your struggles, the fact that he has fully accepted you and loved you for who you were, and the fact that he has pulled through every time you found yourself like this was enough for you to forget your misery at this very moment, and simply allow yourself to be bathed in his comforting presence.

A/N: i'm leaving the condition vague so people can maybe relate to it better idk. sorry if this sucks, as i said its purely self-indulgent because levi fluff helps make me feel less bad

[seongminiz]

yess i’d love to learn kiof choreos i’m in a sort of dance group with just a couple of my irl friends but we’re all lazy and it’s hard to coordinate times to practice cuz we all have full time jobs/school 😭😭😭

i have some hyeongjun hard thoughts i’m gonna drop here (hope that’s okay >.>) but like i’m trying to get through an 11 hour shift rn and i’m rly bored so… ur have an onlyfans or smth similar and he’s like ur #1 subscriber.. sending u gifts and donations and always being so sweet in ur comments and then idk bear with me here maybe he realizes that u actually work together or go to school together irl like u never have ur face in videos but he catches a glimpse of one of ur less visible tattoos i’m thinking like rib or chest or even like a discrete finger tat and he realizes it’s you and becomes even more obsessed like needing to get ur attention but he doesn’t let you know he knows it’s you and then idk i just imagine like him trying to flirt with u and seduce you irl and ur like rly attracted to him cuz he’s such a cute little pup and u just wanna wreck and corrupt him and of course he jumps at the chance for u to do that<333 idk sorry i’m literally typing this at work 😵‍💫

- 🧁 anon

omg no wayyy im so jealous i used to do that too with my high school friend group but they dropped me :') (/lh idc abt them)

also im going to rip my hair out HELLO ????? THIS IS INSANE /POS

obsessed perv loser hyeongjun ...... corrupting obsessed perv loser hyeongjun .. im going to die

the way he would probably somehow get off to the fact that u dont actually know hes ur #1 fan ,, he'd fantasize abt u finding out n degrading him for it i swearrrrr im so sure abt it aaaaaaaa

[darlinguistics]

i just finished my first week at my summer job! its a summer camp, im in their program for their special needs campers, so i got assigned to an inclusive bunk where im the advocate for two little boys. not gonna lie i was super overwhelmed, i think i cried more days than i didnt but i think thats more to do with how long these days are (i leave my house at 7:30am, get home at 6pm!) and how i dont really have a break the whole time (not even the ride to/from where im a bus counselor for more kids). ive been super excited to start this job since i got it in the spring too, so the rough adjustment period hit me even harder because i felt like i was failing or not as qualified as i thought i was, etc etc. but now the week is over and i think im largely out of that funk. its still a bit much, still more than im used to, but i think me and the kids themselves have settled into the new environment a bit better now and we all can think a bit more clearly. and when i stop focusing on all the little parts of my days that stress me out, i realize im doing a pretty good job so far! and my kids are so lovely and as long as im doing right by them im doing exactly whats expected of me.

last time i was working with kids regularly was an internship last year, but that was just a few hours a week at a preschool and i wasnt assigned to any specific kids. but even then i remember the headspace id get in right before and after those shifts. at the time i was reprocessing a lot of my own childhood as i had just moved away from home for the first time and let things catch up to me. so i remember taking any slight cause of upset in those kids so personally, getting so defensive and protective of them and so stuck in thinking about how 'unfair' being a kid was at times and the inevitable damage that is done, how growing up and aging is kind of just inherently a bit traumatic it seems, even if you do everything 'right' and there was no way i could 'save' them from it. or in other words i was just a softie and a pushover lol. that was a year ago though and definitely a reflection of what i was going through at the time, now im in a different place of course. now im a little more self-focused admittedly, and i moreso catch myself being sensitive about the interactions i have with my adult coworkers now more than the kids. but whats getting me is how much i realize i relate to my two boys, but that i didnt have any advocate or anyone like that assigned to me growing up. but when i work with them on things like mental rigidity or strong senses of justice, all-or-nothing thinking, decision overload, shut down/freeze responses.. i occasionally get imposter sydrome realizing that i myself still struggle with those things more than i want to admit and who am i to coach a child through them when i clearly still struggle? doing in essence the same things at the same time as them with my adult peers, but no one is pulling me aside or gently redirecting me when i do it.

but anyways its a good job. and i should be able to get home a bit earlier starting next week which is both a small but huge win i cant wait for. im hoping now that im less on edge with all the newness i can be more mindful too, cuz i know that from how i was raised my instinct can be to 'just deal with it, even if its hurting me to do so i am clearly the odd one out so just pretend you understand to spare everyone elses feelings while hurting yourself quietly' and i obviously so do not want to let myself unconsciously encourage any of that to my kids. im confident i know how to teach and model healthier ways for them, i just know that if i dont take care of myself and let myself get too overwhelmed i might slip. so i want to be kinder to myself and advocate for myself too, for their sake as well as mine. so im taking full advantage of this weekend to recover as selfishly as i want, filling my own cup before pouring it out for others, as my therapist would say <3

[orchidyoonkook]

personal

Hi, need to scream. Tumblr seems to listen best. can and please feel free to ignore.

okay so essentially my job has removed all of the things I use and need in order to be able to do my job with my mental disorder. my mental DISABILTY. that i was honest with them and told them about at my freaking trial shift. that i told them i needed certain things in order to do well. nothing drastic. but things that helped me significantly with my performace.

SOOOOOOOOO i am now severely struggling at my job because they've taken those away cuz they were 'annoying' or 'in the way' or 'clutter'. like. im not even leaving shit every where. It's like, maybe at most 3 sticky notes? (for example) and they're written just for me, like just so i can have a list of things i can do and know to go back and look on when i need a task because ive finished the one i was doing. but then my boss reads them and critiques them as if they're for everyone. or says 'okay yeah but we do that every day so i dont see why you have to write it down. you should know to do it by now' LIKE BRO. I forget to put deodorant on some days because of said mental disability. it's something i do and have done every day since i was 12 or 13. thats 12 years. and i still forget some days just cuz my brain wasn't working properly.

AND now due to this they have put me, one of the staff currently with more seniority than 3 other staff, down to one shift a week, while every one else is full time or heavily part time.

In march i was full time and kicking ass, I was the fastest employee on my tasks, i was doing great, the customers loved me and now that all of my things that i need in order to function have been removed for everyone else's aesthetic preferences, I'm suffering, and most likely being silently fired.

like... what do i do with that. I can do my job, with my accomadations - that arent that many btw - i dont expect them to move mountains for me. But dude. I hate this feeling so much because i'm capable, theyve seen me be capable. i was for 1.5 years. like i want to be good at my job. I like and enjoy being good at my job. i've told them that. I want to do good but my ability to be good is being derailed, and i just get told to try harder, just work harder, impress your boss with how hard you work -> for minimum wage, i might add.

and everyone is like "just get a new job, just apply for more jobs you're not applying for enough, literally just apply for everything, even if youre not qualified" and i cant just do that, due to said disability. there are jobs i am unable to do. so i have to be a lil picky otherwise i'll be right back where i am now. and ive been looking for months and applying for months with no luck - no one ever responds. why list jobs if you dont respond?????

it's getting to the point where im debating opening up drawing commissions or writing commissions, or something that i can make to earn a little extra cash here and there while i get over this transition period. And that's a big deal for me because i don't do commissions. I do my art for myself or for when i want to share something i've made already, like the UTWT books. Hell, I did a tattoo design for a friend on here that i put easily 40 hours into, and i felt guilty that they wanted to pay me for it because i'd asked them for the idea. Like, i don't do commissions. so for me to be considering it is really telling for me.

anyways. this is a bajillion words long now, but i already feel better. and I'm posting it in the middle of the night in hopes that the void just consumes it and never lets it see the light of day.

If you read this, thanks and sorry for the bummer of a post. This isnt a pity party or a poor yoon thing. I'm not looking for comfort or any of that. this is a 'i don't have a therapist and my friends and partner and family are sick of hearing me bitch, when i havent been able to fix it in months despite trying my best too' thing. so yeah..

i hope the new year brings me something good.

[totentnz]

For the sleepy dialogue prompt: 7!! :3c

Sleepy Dialogue

7. "Did you dream about me?" and "Just put your head on my shoulder." First is (implied) SilverV and the other is some backstory ft. Vincent!

"Did you dream about me?"

v clung onto sleep this morning, comfortably lying on her stomach with one cheek pressed to her pillow. she remained in this position in an attempt to drift off again. a futile attempt as it did not go unnoticed with her roommate - brainmate. "did ya dream about me?" his voice reverberated in her skull, low and rough at the edges as if his own dreams had chipped away at it. v gripped her pillow a little tighter, she really needed to wash these sheets. there was also weight on the mattress beside her; nibbles most likely. "wouldnt blame ya for wantin to go back to sleep." she heard the cockiness in his voice but it didnt frustrate her. he wasn't mocking her; it was flirtatious banter. "like that hm? so smitten with ya, spendin all my waking hours with ya isnt enough?" she lifted her weight up with both her arms, just to collapse back onto the bed, face first into the pillow. the weight also shifted but v did not think to look; this felt nice. "didn't tune in this time?" she answered, her voice slightly muffled by the pillow. "nah. i got some of your memories. bummer, your wet dreams are always so entertaining." johnny replied and there was movement again, it clearly wasn't nibbles since the size didn't fit but v wasn't connecting the dots. "there is plenty of sex in there, maybe one day you will get lucky." she shrugged and raised one hand to her head to scratch her scalp. "yeah, turns out you used to have fun sometimes." there was a certain tinge to his voice that v couldn't quite place but seemed familiar nonetheless. her brow knit together in confusion as the sudden change in tone threw her off. movement again, this time the weight was lifted from the bed. she open her eyes to scan the room for his figure. after a few moments the sound of nibbles scratching on her apartment door, asking to be let in almost startled her. disappointment or maybe regret settled into her chest now.

"Just put your head on my shoulder."

it had only been about a week since they escaped; from their childhood home, their parents and their torment. the final confrontation between their father and v had cost her an eye and him a wounded ego. the twins knew however that their tormentors would not just let them leave and so they had to stay on the move; be a pair of ghosts until they turned eighteen and would be truly free. their new way of living had already taken it's toll, they had nowhere to stay; all the homeless shelters were stock full and even if they weren't they couldn't risk having the badges called on them. "why cant we just stay with the doc? he helped us and he seems nice." vincent asked as he wrapped his arms around his body in an attempt to keep what warmth he had. v only replied with a grumble, she didn't like the thought; they were already in debt to him after he tended to her wounds. "he said he'd help us." there was hopefulness in his voice or maybe naivety; he truly believed his words. when his sister didn't reply he looked upward, scanning the lit windows and wondering what the people in their flats were doing. v had set down a piece of cardboard for them to rest on and finally replied. "dont trust him." she said. "who just helps someone without expecting anything in return?" her pessimism didn't surprise him but the answer was clear to vincent: a good person. his gaze was still directed upward and v indulged as well. "i wanna go home." he mumbled more to himself but it didn't escape her. the statement shot a bolt of unidentifiable emotions through her body. she cant go back. not to that place. not to those people. she had finally broken free of her prison and she would rather freeze to death on the streets than die a coward in the house she grew up in. vincent could felt her reaction; their bond had strengthened over the years of having only each other. v didn't believe in the esoteric side of twin bond but he could feel it every day: her joy lifting his own spirits, her despair deepening his own, her anger seeping into him. "we don't have a home." she finally spoke, bitterness radiating from every syllable; he could almost taste the bile. he finally looked at her again and his eyes were drawn to the dirty bandage wrapped around her head, concealing the wound where her left eye used to be. v noticed his gaze and turned away from him. he leaned against the wall and slid down to sit on the cardboard, one hand grabbing hers to pull her down with him. she followed to sit next to him, huddling together. "we can find one. make one." v slung her arm around him, cradling his head in her palm and he allowed her to pull it down to rest on her shoulder. "tomorrow." she nuzzled the top of his head with her face. "get some rest, i'll keep watch."

[causenessus]

hi my loveliness! how’s your morning afternoon or evening !! i miss you so so so much SO MUCH i’m so sorry like hhhh IM SO SORRY BUT I HOPE YOUVE EATEN AND TAKEN CARE OF YOURSELF!! i wanted to send this earlier but after work i was so so so tired and i’m still so very tired but i will try for you !!! the roles are so reverse right now like im fighting sleep and you know what’s so funny? for like an hour i was in and out of sleep and i was imagining myself writing a response and i got so disappointed when i actually woke up and i didn’t </3 BUT ITS A SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE THAT I MUST WRITE THIS !! then i will pass out

todays shift was honestly like… a fever dream because i can not tell you what happened today like i was on autopilot the whole day and i have another shift tomorrow BUT BUT ITS A FOUR HOUR SHIFT !! just a 2:45-7:30 shift YIPPE!! but my coworkers wanna go out after work tomorrow like i hope im not too tired to go but i will 100% update you on that tomorrow, i talked to my manager(girl manager!)about potentially quitting and she was so happy for me I WAS SO SAD BECAUSE SHE WAS LIKE “you’ve been here for so long like we saw you grow up !” AND ITS KIND OF TRUE LIKE IVE BEEN HERE SINCE I WAS 15 SO ITS KIND OF CRAZY and i was like awww now ur making me not want to quit!! but now im gonna quit and fly to the states and work a cute little frame retail job with ness <333333333333333333333333333 AND YES MY STORE MANAGER QUIT OUT OF NOWHERE?? like there’s a group chat for work right and she just sent a huge goodbye message and i was like WHAT and everyone(except for the managers) knew about it like it was such a shocker, unfortunately its NOT the male manager but im manifesting him reading these cutesy little haikyuu x femreader blogs since today he was soooooo DEMANDING !! LIKE !! every second i heard “mango anon do this mango anon do that” LIKE I DONT MIND LIKE it’s my job but it was because like i had a main task to do right but i couldn’t even finish it because he kept sending me on side missions and had the nerve to be like “wait u didn’t do ur main task?” HOW COULD I !! ur sending me on 20 side missions like at this point u should send me to the vents to dust it out!! but i think i am quitting this coming september because i need to start focusing on school more i think but i’ve never quit a job before so im a little NERVOUS BUT BUT OFC ILL UPDATE U !! also i can’t believe your job is making you stay another month LET ME SAVE YOU !! i’ll literally fly to the us and take your shifts for you and you can just sit relax and look pretty while i run around being a hostess(i’ve NEVER been a hostess nor do i know how it works but anything for ness anything anything for you)

update i just fell asleep i think for like 10 minutes but im back so IM CONTINUING (i’m sorry if this doesn’t make sense omg i’m just writing what comes to mind right now)

ness u are the sweetest person ever like whichever higher being decided to give me the blessing of living in the same era as you …. i dedicate my life to them..LIKE THE FACT THAT I GOT BACK INTO HAIKYUU AND FOUND UR BLOG AND I GOT TO ACTUALLY INTERACT WITH YOU LIKE I’M SO LUCKY you’re the best ever ever :(( i don’t want to stress you out with requests but ill keep that in mind because work has been so so so unnecessarily evil lately but having you to talk to has made it a lot easier for sure! and YES THE MEN ARE SO ??? sometimes i genuinely wonder what’s going in their head…. and like in a most polite way ever i feel bad for their wives because like do they not know how to hang up clothes?? is this how they treat their wives?? I HOPE DAMN NOT !! it’s so mind blowing though because in what MENTAL EVALUATION DOES ONE DECIDE “oh i found this RANDOM GIRLS INSTAGRAM and even through in a full grown man, i’m gonna go up to her and shoot my shot!!” LIKE NO??? it was such a bad day like im baffled that one would even think about that?? like im truly baffled, STUNNED EVEN! i appreciate you so much for understanding because i don’t wanna come off as like “she’s complaining about having to do her job!” BECAUSE IM COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW IM BEING TREATED AT MY JOB !! to think these are members of society is kind of scary because like i feel bad when i don’t open the door for someone whose 20 feet behind me like wdym you can give me a pile of your warm WORN inside out clothes?? and to any customer or weirdo who even THINKS of disrespecting you or being weird to you: i will definitely NOT bite your cheek lovingly… i will bite it aggressively and unlovingly and i will very cutely send pieces of your hair to an etsy witch to very cutely hex you <33333333 cutely and politely of course <333333333333333

I GET NOT WANTING TO EAT CHUNKS OF RAW FISH like even the word CHUNKS is terrible but it’s literally what it is !! chunks of raw fish!! NOW IM SQUIRMING AHH CHUNKS AHHH but like i tried covering it up with the other stuff too and it definitely wasn’t that bad but i get not being a raw fish person because that was me too !! also im still on the hunt for cinnamon almond butter! i’ve found some online but they’re like websites i’ve never heard from and personally i do not wanna risk buying from random websites LOL BUT !!! when i fly to the states and meet my favourite person ever (you!!) the first thing i want to do is literally the cinnamon almond butter LIKE IT SOUNDS SO GOOD!! the name and everything(one day for sure) like i don’t care about the american fast food places !! i want CINNAMON ALMOND BUTTER ON A BAGEL !!

also once again you are literally the cutest ever like I WANNA BITE UR CHEEK SO HARD LOVINGLY !! like i know i shouldn’t be but im so scared to actually dm you because idk my blog is ugly(LMAOOO) and im like nervous like so unserious in that matter LIKE SOMETIMES IM LIKE what do i even say ness is too cool for me her inbox is probably filled with other awesome smau writers then THERES ME(like it’s so unserious my reasonings) BUT I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I HATE DAYS WHERE I HAVE TO SEND THESE LATE BECAUSE I GENUINELY MISS TALKING TO YOU LIKE WHENEVER I GET A NOTIF THAT YOU POSTED I GET SO HAPPY !!! (no pressure to always post though !! i’m just saying it’s nice to see you’re still alive and well)

AND YES IM A SCORPIO !! i used to try to be into horoscopes but i never did get into it like I TRIED BUT THERE WERE TOO MANY FACTORS AND LIKE wdym since im a scorpio my favourite colour is red🤨🤨 like that type of thing so i was like okay im just gonna take my star sign or something and roll with it BUT UR A CANCER??? LIKE THAT MEANS YOUR BIRTHDAY JUST PASSED RIGHT? oh my god i didn’t send you a cake and a big ol gift i can’t believe it ALSO WHEN YOU SAID FRESHLY 18 I DIDNT EXPECT FRESHLY FRESHLYYYY 18?? thats so crazy oh my gosh i thought you’ve been 18 for a while(idk why i just kinda assumed) literally i will fly to the states right now and throw you a huge celebration <333333333333333333

IF U HAVE PHASMOPHOBIA WE CAN PLAY AND ILL PROTECT YOU I PROMISE <3333333 and everytime i see “you’re my mango anon” I LITERALLY KICK MY FEET AND GIGGLE LIKE it’s so cute because you literally gave me that name too and it’s so endearing to me like i remember you asking “can i call you this” and i was literally so so so so honoured like i was so :((((( (/POS) IDK IT FELT SO CUTE?? also oh my god i just had a BIG flashback and i’m like IM PRETTY SURE IT WAS YOU BECAUSE ILL BE SO SO SO EMBARRASSED IF IT WASNT YOU BUT!!! i remember you posted something before where you were talking about how you disagree about suna and atsumu being portrayed as like playboys since they’re like losers and they’d be smitten with a girl and I REMEMBER!!! I REMEMBER I SENT IN AN ASK (like i completely forgot this happened so i thought our first interaction was the one about the original love notes plot) BUT I WAS LIKE no yeah i totally agree because they’re losers! in a loving way ofc and i see them being absolutely whipped and smitten and YEAH I REMEMBER THAT LIKE IT JUST CAME TO ME RANDOMLY! i remember just scrolling through tumblr and i saw that and i immediately followed you right after seeing that because i 100% agreed with you and i just remember you being such a sweet sweet person and i think that was the first ever time i’ve sent in an anon ask?? i felt as passionate about it as you did and yeah WOW THAT WAS SO LONG AGO TOO (ness if im wrong and it wasn’t you i’m literally gonna start crying but im 90% sure it was you because i haven’t interacted with any other accounts as much)

LITERALLY ATSUMU COME THROUGH WITH THE 4 BOXES OF MAC AND CHEESE !! we literally need to have a 3am sit down at a dinner table eating mac and cheese and talking about tech because i swear i can make a whole book about my experience as a tech kid it was THAT traumatizing and OH MY GOSH IM FREE TUESDAY AND THURSDAY AND FRIDAY!! LET ME FLY IN REAL QUICK <3333333333

RANDOM INTERMISSION!! water break time, cheers with me CHEERS!! (totally off topic but i love ice water so much)

BACK ON TOPIC to the weird chefs at ness’ work… watch your back because i will not be a sweet loving anon to you … i will very VERY politely make sure u will not have hair in 1 year time …. i will literally become your work guard dog and i will be shameless about it!! AND my male manager is kind of like the “scary” manager so i guessssss he isn’t so badwko

(okay update i fell asleep while writing this and its the morning now so im gonna continue)

ALSO IF UR EVER TIRED PLS PLS PLS DONT WORRY ABOUT WRITING BACK !! i can always wait !! i just want to make sure you’re taking care of yourself and eating because i love and care about you very very much!

THE CONDOMS AND BLACK MOLD THINGS ARE SO FUNNY LIKE im sorry to break it to you but i fear you are correct… it is just a you school thing BUT actors quitting mid production is like sooooo messy because it means more rehearsals for us since we have to get people to fill in the roles and practice their characters! i always feel so bad for our stage manager because like our director kind of always put a lot of pressure on them? AND I FELT SO BAD BCUZ SHE WAS ALWAYS STRESSED like being a store manager is not for the weak at all!

I LOVE ADOPTING PEOPLE IN THE YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME!! i was in physics ap in high school right and during my last year i was the only one left in ap so my teacher had me like kind of become a tutor for the ap kids in the year below me(there was 3 of them) and they were so sweet like i miss them so much </3333 i hope they’re well </33333 BUT I LITERALLY ADOPTED THEM LIKE they were my kids !!! i felt like a proud mother when they were doing well and AHHH but me and you literally i don’t like showing people things multiple times AND ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY DONT GET IT like i know it isn’t their fault because to be honest i think im pretty bad at explaining things but that’s why i VISUALLY show it but when they still don’t get it im like HHHH AHHHHH i do know what to mean by parking the lights!! i had to know a bit of how to do lights since idk lights and sound are linked in that way (like me and you)(soulmates WE ARE SOULMATES) AND I WOULD BE FRUSTRATED TOO IF SOMEONE DIDNT GET IT because i feel like idk it’s kind of …. LIKE IF YOU SEE SOMEONE DOING IT I FEEL LIKE YOUD GET IT?? or i don’t know maybe regina george kin guy is kind of weird like that BUT THE KID YOU ADOPTED SEEMS SO SWEET AND FUNNY LOL i hope you manage to convert her (AND SAVE HER) everytime we talk about tech i miss it so much like if my director asked me to come in to help I FEAR I WOULD SAY YES!! LIKE RIGHT AWAY!! i miss the environment because it was so unserious and like the toxicity between the casts was like watching a tv show right because i was never involved but i heard and watched it all go down so ITS KIND OF FUNNY (you should tell your teacher you know a sounds person)(i will fly in AND i will accompany you)

ALSO TONICS INTRO AHHH IM OBSESSED IM SO EXCITED !! i read it just when i woke up and i was like ness ur so cool ur so so cool ness is so cool AND i will find you your irl sunarin TO TREAT U RIGHT !! or i will simply transform myself and everything to become mister suna rintarou HIMSELF (JUST FOR YOU!!) i will ward off all the weird men for you <333333 just say the word and ill contact the etsy witches i promise you <333333333333333333

HELP THE SLEEPY AND GOD CONVERSATION??? no because literally why are all discord servers the same like everyone playing into the gods role and then there’s that ONE person whose not playing into it(SLEEPY YOU FUNNY FUNNY MAN OR WOMEN)I CAN ALSO PROBABLY FIND A BUNCH OF OLD SCREENSHOTS FROM DISCORD BECAUSE LIKE… a lot of what people said had me genuinely GASPING LIKE SURPRISED BECAUSE IM LIKE oh! oh okay! (the discord quarantine experience is so real and universal i love it)

ANYWAYS I HOPE YOU HAVE THE BESTEST DAY EVER EVER!! IM SO SO SORRY THAT THIS IS LATE BUT I HOPE YOU ATE AND TOOK CARE OF YOURSELF !! my life is forever yours like i will hand you my heart on a silver platter I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH i miss you too like when i woke up literally i was like oh my god did i send ness my ask did i even FINISH IT?? (and i slept midway writing it im so so sorry work drained me) also im literally working 6 days in a row right now like… give me that overtime pay to pay for my ticket to see the actual love of my life AND IF YOU WERE MY HOUSEWIFE ID BE THE BEST BREADWINNER EVER AND BUY YOU WHATEVER YOU PLEASE i will make sure you never have to worry about anything i will literally protect and love u with my life and soul and give you all the cinnamon almond butter the world has to offer!! BUT HAVE A GOOD MORNING EVENING OR AFTERNOON NESS!! I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND DRINK LOTS OF WATER AND EAT GOOD!! xoxoxoxoxoxo

MANGO ANON </33333333333333333333333333333333 AAA HELLO HELLO!! DO NOT BE SORRY AT ALL!! I AM SO HAPPY TO HEAR FROM YOU AND ONCE AGAIN YOUR SHIFT YESTERDAY SOUNDED SO LATE :(( I WASN'T EXPECTING YOU TO HAVE THE ENERGY TO SEND SOMETHING IN AT ALL!! I WANT YOU TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST ALWAYS <3 so i'm glad ur body was like?? trying to get u to sleep?? or at least made you sleep a little bit before replying 😭😭 BUT I'M GLAD WE WERE IN THE SAME SPOT LMAO last night i think i was trying to write something and once again my eyes would just randomly close and i'd fall asleep for five minutes without realizing it 😭😭 it's simultaneously like the most exhilarating and tiring thing ever?? like i love fighting off sleep and it's always fun waking up like "WHEN DID I FALL ASLEEP? WHERE AM I? WHAT'S HAPPENING" but also like i wanted to stay awake last night!!! but i was super tired </3

I'M SORRY YOU WORK AGAIN TODAY!!! :(( BUT I'M WITH YOU!! i also work a 4 hour shift tonight from 3-7:15 or something like that!! SO WE CAN BE LIKE,, WORKING IN PARALLELS!!! (i have no idea how to word that but hopefully u get what i mean!! i think my brain has given up today so i don't think i'm english-ing very well today in general LMAO) MY SHIFT LAST NIGHT WAS SUCH A FEVER DREAM TOO i'd be grabbing people menus at the speed of light and i was like "i can't believe i know how to do this all" but i couldn't think about it too hard bc it's like when you're breathing and then you suddenly realize you're breathing and then you're like "i do this on autopilot??" and then you can't stop voluntarily breathing yk?? 😭 (SORRY SIDE TANGENT) BUT YOUR GIRL MANAGER SOUNDS SO SWEET!!! :(( AND I'M GLAD SHE'S SUPPORTING YOU QUITTING!! AND I FEEL LIKE THIS IS ONCE AGAIN JUST SHOWING HOW SIMILAR WE ARE MANGO ANON!! bc this restaurant job i've also been working since i was 15 i think!! and ofc i had that little break where i quit before i've had to come back for a few months 😭 (and it is SO admirable that you have worked there for so long i could never!!! you definitely deserve to quit this place with all you've gone through though </33) but it's weird bc like one of my mother's coworkers there is also someone she's been working with since we moved to the state we live in now (when i was just a wee little baby. i think we moved here in like 2013?? idk what grade or age that puts me at and i can't math BUT IK I WAS YOUNG). like they worked at this one sushi place forever and then my mom quit and moved to the restaurant she works at now and this coworker and ended up moving to this restaurant too if that makes sense 😭😭 so that coworker has literally seen me grow up!! and that's crazy 😭 SORRY FOR THE SIDE TANGENET AND I HOPE IT WASN'T CONFUSING

THE GIANT GOODBYE MESSAGE LMAO????? i can just imagine you checking your phone and then suddenly it's a "i have decided to quit. blah blah blah yap yap yap yap yap yap yap. goodbye." message from your store manager LMAOOO (it reminds me of this one fateful day in high school i'm eating my lunch and check my phone and suddenly there's an instagram message from my sister's bf "hey. i love you and your sister so much and i know this is going to be hard for you guys now that we're separating but i just want to say that i'm still here if you guys need anything and don't be mad at her. she's an amazing person and i will always love you guys." NOT ME FINDING OUT THAT MY SISTER AND HER BF BROKE UP [only to get back together a few months later] FROM HER BF BEFORE I EVEN HEARD IT FROM HER??? AND IT WAS THE MOST RANDOM THING EVER LIKE BROTHER IT'S 12 PM ON A WEDNESDAY WHAT'S HAPPENING) THE FACT THAT EVERYONE BUT THE MANAGERS KNEW ???? THAT'S CRAZY 😭 I HOPE THAT DOESN'T MAKE THINGS MORE DIFFICULT FOR YOU FOR HOWEVER MUCH LONGER YOU CONTINUE TO WORK THERE!!

and yes!! maybe your male store manager should be reading cutesy hq x fem reader stories!!! maybe that'll soften his hard heart <33 he's kicking his feet reading a kenma x figure skating reader smau rn <33 how cute!! MAYBE HE WAS TOO BUSY READING CUTE HQ FICS TO REALIZE HOW MUCH HE WAS BOSSING U AROUND WHICH WOULD BE THE ONLY VALID EXCUSE FOR HIS ACTIONS BC OTHER THAN THAT!! grr bark bark let me at him mango anon!!! i will fight him!!! him sending u on side missions and then being like "wait u haven't done your main mission on top of the thousands of side quests i sent u on??!! how dare u!!" (i love using the words missions and quests now for work I WILL FOREVER BE DOING THAT NOW)

AND HE FR SOUNDS LIKE MY MANAGER!! like okay at my store we have the store manager (old man with a mohawk and jeep with no doors and thousands of ducks on his dashboard and is like never there bc he's so busy trying to also help out/manage other stores bc ig we just don't have enough store managers or something. also he's a little crazy bc i think i told u this but one time this guy came in wanting to frame BLACK CORAL he bought OFF THE STREETS OF SOMEWHERE IN MEXICO [black coral IS ENDANGERED AND SO IT IS HIGHLY ILLEGAL TO BE IN POSSESSION OF IT OR MOVE IT OR ANYTHING] and so we had to ask my store manager if we should even be allowed to take it in and frame the coral bc like?? technically it's not ours?? but also maybe a store shouldn't be doing that?? and he would NOT stop comparing it to "this would be like framing a pound of cocaine!!" and he kept saying it and we were like "OKAY BUDDY!! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?? DO YOU WANT A POUND OF COCAINE BEHIND A GLASS IN A LITTLE WOODEN FRAME??" anyway sorry i'll move on, but he's pretty silly), we have like manager #1 that handles all the new employees and also helps around the store, manager #2 that probably does something like that too but idk what it is (and also helps around the store) and then we have "my" manager whose in charge of the framing department (who she's kind of new to being a manager. like basically she worked there and then the old framing manager quit and they begged her to be a manager which all happened right as i was hired). and when i first started she was like "if you close with manager #2 sometimes she'll ask u to help close the store as well" (bc since we're the framing department, we just close our part of the store and the rest of the closers close the actual store if that makes sense) which like!! ig i get!! bc our closing responsibilities are a little bit easier and i don't mind helping!! but also it's not my job and i'm getting paid minimum wage for this!! and even my framing manager said it in a tone that sounded like "yeah this is a crappy thing to make us do so i would never make u do that if u close with me" so i trusted her to not be crappy!! (even though she kind of is) BUT ANYWAY WHERE I'M GOING WITH THIS IS LIKE ON THURSDAY SHE HAD ME RUNNING SIDE QUESTS TOO and i was coming into the main office like about to grab paper for our printer AND to ask my manager if i could take a 15 minute break bc i knew she was in there but then she's on our radio like "and ness! will u please sweep THE ENTIRE STORE" (MIND U MY BUILDING USED TO BE A BOOKSTORE AND IS PRETTY BIG. ALSO THIS IS THE SECOND TIME SHE'S ASKED ME TO DO THIS AND THE FIRST TIME I UNDERSTOOD BC THERE WAS ONLY ONE OTHER CLOSER, SO LIKE THERE WAS JUST MY MANAGER [CLOSING REGISTERS], OTHER COWORKER [CLOSING ENTIRE STORE], AND ME [CLOSING FRAMING] BUT ON THURSDAY THERE WERE THREE!!!!! OTHER COWORKERS WHO WERE CLOSING THE ENTIRE STORE SO TELL ME WHY NONE OF THEM COULD TAKE AN HOUR TO SWEEP THE FLOORS SO I COULD GET MY STUFF DONE) AND SO THE PROBLEM is that i was going to ask to take my break!! bc the last of my other coworkers had just gotten off their break and so i was like "cool!! now it's my turn :D" BUT BC I HAD TO SWEEP THE FLOORS I COULDN'T TAKE A BREAK BC IT WAS ALREADY TOO LATE and then i closed framing and there's like three minutes left until we close so wtf am i supposed to do in that time so i'm on my phone (and i was also in the mindset of: this is my 15 minute break shortened into three minutes since i couldn't take it earlier) but my manager comes in and is like "erm...what r u doing on your phone." KYS (SORRY that day made me so mad i am now done with this side tangent!! sorry to ramble so long while ur talking about your manager but i thought you might find this funny 😭😭)

and i think it sounds like a great idea to focus more on school!! especially if your work is scheduling you so much and customers are stressful and everything </3 I WOULD TAKE OVER FOR YOU IF I COULD!! EVEN THOUGH I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT LIKE CLOTHING RETAIL!!! and yeah i mean quitting is terrifying 😭😭 the first time i quit (hosting job) i literally did it over text (felt like one of those fboys breaking up with their gf over text "hey. i think we need to take a break." BARF) and my manager (has made me cry before) literally took me out back the next day and was like "why do u want to quit?? what if we just don't schedule u as much?? or like once your workload as school lightens up u come back??" and i was like "no...i'm done lmfao." (i didn't say that. unfortunately i made up some bs like "oh!! maybe!! i would love to come back!! i just don't know when i'll be less stressed so i'll tell you when i'm doing better [which would be never] :)") and my second job (fast food job </3) i did print out some google doc two weeks notice template and they literally could not care less and i didn't care so it'll be ok!! and it sounds like your manager was super nice about it so that's good!! I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR YOU MANGO ANON <33 WE COULD HOST TOGETHER!! WE'D BE THE BEST DUO EVER LITERALLY LIKE I THINK THE WORLD COULD PAIR US UP AND THROW US INTO LIKE A CONSTRUCTION CREW AND WE'D BUILD THE BEST SKYSCRAPER EVER DESPITE NO PAST EXPERIENCE. LIGHTS AND SOUND DUO? THAT'S US <3 HOSTING TOGETHER? WE CAN DO IT <3 BUILDING HOUSES?? AN EASY TASK FOR NESS AND MANGO ANON!!! <3

AND LMAO DW ABOUT MAKING SENSE AT ALL!! i will always be able to follow mango anon i am convinced we are literally two peas in a pod <3 on the same wavelength and everything!! and that was me last time i answered and lowkey how i'm feeling today 😭😭 i just write whatever pops into my silly little brain!!

AND YOU WOULDN'T STRESS ME OUT AT ALL MY LOVE <333 I'M SO SO SO SO GLAD I GET TO INTERACT WITH YOU!! I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE HERE I LOVE TALKING TO YOU EVERYDAY <3 LOWKEY I ENJOY GOING TO MY HOSTESS JOB ESPECIALLY (since that seems to be where all the drama happens LMFAO i love u food industry) bc i'm always in the mindset of "omg!! what can i tell mango anon happened today <3" or something happens and i'm like "I'M TELLING MANGO ANON ABOUT THIS" like i love everyone!! but everytime someone asks me how my day is sometimes i purposely keep things away...so that when i talk to u i can tell u everything that happened if that makes sense.. (i'm sorry to ANYONE ELSE OTHER THAN MANGO ANON READING THIS I LOVE U ALL AND I LOVE TALKING TO U GUYS BUT ALSO I REALLY REALLY LOVE MANGO ANON) so definitely pls lmk if you want me to write you anything!! i would love to ESPECIALLY IF IT CAN HELP MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER!! but i cannot tell you how much it has also helped me to talk to you!! i love to hear about your days and hear your replies and literally everything i love you so much mango anon <33

DON'T EVEN WORRY ABOUT BEING POLITE TO MEN!! THEY DON'T DESERVE YOUR POLITENESS literally men are the worst!! i don't think there's anything going on in their heads!! and i definitely feel bad if any of them have a wife and how much they probably have to do to make up for their lame excuse of a husband </33 AND YOU NEVER HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT HOW YOU COME OFF EITHER MANGO ANON!! ALL OF YOUR FEELINGS AND THOUGHTS ARE ALWAYS VALID <3 DON'T LET ANYONE ELSE TELL YOU OTHERWISE!! IT IS ALWAYS VALID TO COMPLAIN ABOUT YOUR JOB AND HOW YOU'RE BEING TREATED THERE!! ALL OF THAT IS REAL AND CAN BE STRESSFUL!! and once again i'm glad you may be quitting soon!! so that hopefully you can alleviate some of that stress!! ETSY WITCH HEXING IS SO SO CUTE <33

AAA CINNAMON ALMOND BUTTER <33 DO NOT WORRY!! I WILL FLY TO U AND BRING U MY FAVORITE ALMOND BUTTER AND BAGELS!!!! AND DEF DW ABOUT LIKE FINDING IT ONLINE 😭😭 when i first started buying cinnamon almond butter and had to get it off amazon/the brand's sketchy website tell me why each jar was literally like $13????? i think the one i buy now is like $7 so i feel like that's a bit better 😭

AND PLEASE!! NEVER WORRY ABOUT LIKE YOUR BLOG OR DMING ME OR NAYTHING <33 OR OFC JUST MAKE A BURNER ACCOUNT 😭😭 BUT I PROMISE YOU ARE JUST AS AWESOME AS EVERYONE ELSE (if not more awesome!! teehee <3) AND HONESTLY I LOVE SEEING U IN MY INBOX BUT LAST NIGHT I WAS LIKE "i wish i could check in on mango anon 😔 but i have no way of messaging her first" BUT ALSO I LOVE OUR DYNAMIC!! I LOVE THAT U SEND THESE AS ASKS BUT I WILL BE HAPPY AS LONG AS I TALK TO U!!! I LOVE KNOWING U ARE ALIVE AND WELL ALSO!! <3 I WILL LOVINGLY BITE YOUR CHEEK AND NOT SO LOVINGLY BITE YOUR BRAIN'S REASONING AND INSECURITIES!! BC YOU ARE AWESOME MANGO ANON I LOVE YOU <3

AND AAA OMG I LOVE SCORPIOS!!! I ALSO NO LONGER KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HOROSCOPES LMAO LIKE I USED TO BE REALLY INTO IT AND THEN KIND OF FELL OFF ("wdym my fav color is red bc i'm a scorpio" LMAOO THAT MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD) BUT I DO KNOW SCORPIOS AND CANCERS ARE LIKE SUPER COMPATIBLE!!! LITERALLY WE ARE TWIN FLAMES LOOK AT US <3 AND YES my birthday did just pass 😭😭 this is so scary like i hope not a lot of people see this bc i feel bad but like i def did just round up when i started putting my age on my blog bc i was like "i'm almost 18 anyway whtvr!!!" (i had under a month </3) I PROMISE I'M NOT A BIG LIAR i don't even want to like make excuses about this bc it was super stressful for my on my birthday bc i was like "do i pretend to be 19 now?? or just keep rolling and hope no one thinks abt the fact that i'm a cancer??" but i wanted to be honest as possible and everything yk 😭😭 so i'm sorry i rounded up for a little bit AAA sorry i hope that's okay i've never mentioned this on the blog before but i feel safe with u mango anon 😭😭 so i'm saying this here 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 BUT DON'T LET THAT GUILT TRIP YOU OR ANYTHING JUST YELL AT ME IF THIS WAS A BAD THING FOR ME TO DO OR ANYTHING I'M SO SORRY (i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry pls know i'm so sorry idek what to say but i just hope this wasn't upsetting to find out?? idk?? i'm sorry </3) I WILL BE THROWING YOU A BIG CELEBRATION WITH A BIG CAKE AND ALL THE PRESENTS IN THE WORLD IN NOVEMBER!! <3

PLEASE IT WOULD BE SO FUN TO PLAY PHASMOBIA TOGETHER!! I'VE NEVER PLAYED IT BEFORE AND DON'T HAVE IT I'VE JUST SEEN CLIPS OF PEOPLE PLAYING IT AND I'D BE SO SCARED TO PLAY IT 😭 BUT IK IT'D BE FUN WITH YOU!! AND AA I'M SO HAPPY I COULD GIVE YOU THE NICKNAME!! IT'S SO SWEET AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH <3 AND YES!!!! THAT WAS ME I MADE THAT POST ABOUT SUNA AND ATSUMU BEING LOSERS IT WAS THE DAY I WAS LOCKED UP IN A ROOM FOR LIKE 7 HOURS TRYING TO GET MY HAIR DYED RED AND WAS GOING CRAZY 😭😭😭 AND I REMEMBER YOUR ASK TOO BC I WAS SO SO HAPPY TO SEE SOMEONE AGREE WITH ME!! bc i was like scared to show that opinion bc it genuinely felt like entering the community of people who are obsessed with suna smoking and being like "suna doesn't smoke" YK LIKE I FELT LIKE I WAS LITERALLY THROWING MYSELVES TO THE WOLVES BUT THEN U AGREED WITH ME AND I WAS LIKE "OH THANK GOODNESS!!" i am forever thankful to tumblr and the world for letting that post come across your feed!!! BC I'M SO SO GLAD YOU'RE HERE MANGO ANON <33

AND LITERALLY!!! PLEASE TALKING ABOUT TECH TRAUMA OVER 3AM MAC N CHEESE (MADE BY ATSUMU MIYA HIMSELF) WOULD BE A DREAM!!! I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU TUESDAY MANGO ANON!! I WILL BUY MAC N CHEESE TODAY <3

i love random intermission!! I LOVE ICE!! I LOVE EATING ICE!! AS U READ THIS MAKE SURE U DRINK SOME WATER!!

MANGO ANON I HOPE YOU HAD AN AMAZING SLEEP AFTER WRITING THIS 😭😭 THE WAY WE WERE LITERALLY THE SAME FALLING ASLEEP TRYING TO REPLY TO EACH OTHER PLEASE NEVER WORRY ABOUT RESPONDING AS WELL!! i love you so much <3 the way you were telling me if i was tired to not worry about replying when you're HERE!! DOING THE SAME THING!! /lh (AS LONG AS YOU SLEPT AND FELT WELL RESTED AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF I FORGIVE U!!)

and yeah omg i'm so stressed for my stage managing duties coming up 😭😭 bc my directors also put so so so much pressure on our stage managers 😭 i remember we did "the tempest" one of my high school years and it was a show that our theatre was basically submitting to try to take to like a thespian conference?? idk if other states/countries do that 😭 and basically bc i was the light board op yk i was always right next to my stage manager and our director would ALWAYS come up and be like "YOU need to do this THIS and THIS and THIS and WHY HAVEN'T YOU DONE THIS YET? it's YOUR job AS THE STAGE MANAGER" and like she was stressed I was stressed and he was only making it worse bc then she got more stressed out and then i was stressed bc she was stressed and it just was not a good time </33 AND THAT'LL BE ME SOON!!! 😃😃😃😃 i need ur strength mango anon!!! pls come be my sound person 😭😭

AND YES!! LIKE SOMETIMES YOUNGER KIDS ARE MENACES BUT THEN YOU FIND THE REALLY GOOD ONES AND YOU'RE LIKE "omg let me adopt you and just care for you and give you every single thing in the world. u are my child now." OR AT LEAST THAT'S HOW I FEEL LMAOO AND I'M SUCH A PROUD MOTHER TOO!! i think i told u this ( i just went back to check so i'm not repeating myself and i did so nvm BUT I ALSO JUST SAW HOW MANY TYPOS I MADE MY BAD 😭😭 I FR THINK IN THE MOMENT "yeah there's no way i made any typos!!" BUT I DEF DID I'M SORRY ) OKAY SO NVM I'M NOT TELLING THE STORY AGAIN I WAS JUST GONNA TALK ABOUT HOW I WAS HELPING THE GROUP OF THE KID I ADOPTED BC I LOVE HER BUT INSTEAD LET ME TELL YOU the other groups in that class were so stressful. mango anon i had a nightmare last night about having to use an angle grinder bc they broke a drill bit trying to make a box and then all of their screws were like poking out the side of the box 😭😭 AND ACTUALLY SO THEY FINISHED MAKING THEIR LITTLE BOXES ON FRIDAY and had to use a piece of lauan (just thin wood!! idk how explain it or how much u know i'm sorry </3) to make like the back of the box AND MY KIDS DID SO GOOD I WAS SO PROUD OF THEM I TOTALLY GET IT <3

i have completely lost any sense of comprehensibility so I'M SORRY FOR HOW RANDOM THIS ALL IS 😭 BUT YES!! WE ARE SO CONNECTED I THINK I TOLD U THIS AS WELL BUT LIGHTS AND SOUND ARE DEF CONNECTED </3 there was one time a group of actors (seniors when i was a junior) asked me to run the sound board bc like no one else was there to do it and i was like "oh!! i never have before but OKAY IG 😃" BUT OMG UR TOTAL RIGHT BEING IN THEATRE WAS LITERALLY JUST LIKE WATCHING REALITY SHOWS?? LIKE I'VE NEVER WATCHED KEEPING UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS OR WHATEVER THAT SHOW IS BUT I'M SURE IT'S JUST LIKE THAT LMAOOO and that's exactly why it was so easy for my directors to convince me to come back 😭😭 and like it's even better now that i've graduated!! so i feel like i'm on more equal playing ground with my directors and everything!! IF YOU FLEW TO ACCOMPANY ME YOU WOULD LITERALLY SAVE MY LIFE LMAO 😭😭 u could help me co-parent this lovely kid i've adopted!! she could grow up to be a dual lights and sound kid omg <3 MANGO ANON I NEED U TO COME HERE!!!

AND HELLO??????? BECOMING MISTER SUNA RINTAROU HIMSELF??????????? MAYBE YOU ALREADY ARE MANGO ANON <3 I THINK YOU'RE MY IRL SUNA RINTAROU <3 AND I'M SO HAPPY TO HAVE FOUND YOU <3 I AM NO LONGER CURSING OUT THE WORLD FOR PUTTING ME IN THE WRONG UNIVERSE BC I HAVE FOUND YOU!!! SO THIS IS THE RIGHT UNIVERSE FOR ME BC I HAVE YOU <3333 I'M SO GLAD YOU ENJOYED THE TONICS INTROS!! THANK YOU SM I'M SO SO HAPPY TO HEAR THAT <33

I LITERALLY KICKED MY FEET READING YOUR LAST MESSAGE MANGO ANON <33 YOU ARE LITERALLY THE BEST YOU ARE MY IRL SUNA AND THE LOVE OF MY LIFE AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! I WOULD BE UR HOUSEWIFE TOO IF U WOULD HAVE ME <3333333 AND I'M SO SO GLAD TO KNOW YOU!!!! I WILL BE WORKING EXTRA HARD TONIGHT TO PAY FOR MY TICKET TO SEE U <33 AND I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT SHIFT TONIGHT!! I CANNOT WAIT TO HEAR FROM YOU AGAIN LOVE <3 I HOPE YOU HAD A WONDERFUL SLEEP AND HAVE A GREAT DAY TODAY!! MAKE SURE TO EAT AND DRINK WATER <333

[wishingwell4aspiral]

It's officially been 24 hours since I lost my favorite person.

I'm still kinda reeling about the fact it even happened.

You couldn't say anything to me? Not "Goodbye" not a "I'm sorry.", not even a fuck you?

The year and a half we spent together, all the shit that you put me through? Did that mean absolutely fucking nothing to you?

Not a damn thing?

You know, quite honestly.

I'm just upset. That you lied.

I asked you for full transparency. Don't fucking hide shit from me, and don't sugar coat your feelings. Say it as it is. And just communicate.

And you couldn't even do that.

.....

I deserved better.

And yet I still stayed. Through all of this shit. Because I love you. And because of how much you mean to me.

Because I was hoping that when your life got better, that you wouldn't be so mean to me, and anyone else. Because you'd be happy.

I thought the pain I received from you was worth that.

Fuck, maybe I actually fit the criteria for BPD now with how much fucking shit you put me through.

So much shit that I just fucking let slide. Because I loved you. And because that was easier than holding you accountable.

Oh, and by the way, according to Snow, you lied about getting that traffic ticket, because it doesn't show up in public records.

You didn't have to fucking lie to me about shit like that.

I don't know what your fucking deal is.

I don't know why you lied. I don't know why you didn't love me. I don't know why you get yourself into conflicts and then complain that your actions have consequences.

I dont get it.

But I hope you get your fucking shit sorted.

As for me?

I'll figure it out.

Let's face it. I'm cute. I'm smart. And I'm attractive. People are drawn to me like *honey*

I'll find a new favorite person eventually. Even if it hurts right now.

I will find somebody who actually wants to text me back. Who wants to love me. Who wants to have the domestic life with me.

I'll get some more tattoos and piercings.

I will survive. I will find my courage day by day.

I may have loved you for a very long time.

But me and my system?

We've *lived* longer than we've loved you.

And we won't have to struggle forever. - Dawn

Oh. Wonderful. Seems we have made a host shift mid post. Hey, Dusk here.

All I have to fucking say? Is FUCK YOU. FUCK you for making Dawn miserable. Fuck you for refusing to acknowledge me. Fuck you for hurting us on purpose. Fuck you for all the shit you've done! Fuck you for ignoring my fucking feelings

[worldofbryant]

February 17, 2018

I've got this entry tagged as Greenview Hospital because that's where Melvin(Jenkins) is at. He's had atleast 3 seizures in the last 24 hours. I pray that he makes a full recovery( i know that he will). Between me and mom, we've made several calls to different people in the family to let them know about Melvin. Cierra calls mom to let her know about Melvin. While i was sleeping after mom & I got in from Culvers, Cierra asks mom to ask me if i had some money so they can get to Bowling Green to see Melvin. Here's what i don't get, why in the hell ask me for money when Julie gave you $10 yesterday. I guess you want the extra money to make sure that you're able to get to and from Glasgow to Bowling Green and i understand that but, just the other day, you was out riding around and being on Facebook so i personally dont think that you need the money. I called & texted Gwen to have her to tell Daphne about Melvin being in the hospital(believe it or not, Gwen told Daphne) and according to Gwen, Daphne said that sucks. If something happens to Melvin, Gwen, i hope that you have the decency to let our child go. I just got done texting Monique and she's on her way home( her family is in town) and this is the 2nd time today that I've spoken to Monique. Tomorrow, I've got a short 6 hour shift at work and i hope that flies by quickly. Sometime tomorrow, Joe is going to do a video chat with Shaniya & Ariel so mom and i can speak to her. In closing, get better soon Melvin! We still need you around cause this world be lost without you! I love you man!

[mapleshmaple]

,

[aries-writes-shit]

The short end of the stick (Sbi x reader)

paring: c!sbi x reader

prompt/request: n/a

a/n: This is an angst fic. my request are open

you were never that close with your family, they always forgot events of yours or would just straight up ignore you. you would brush it off, beliving that your father Phil and your brothers were too busy. As you all grew up, the cold shoulder towards you only began to get worse.

you sat in your plain bedroom, quietly humming to the music you had playing from your jukebox while you wrote things in a tattered notebook. you heard the front door, then the laughter of your family as they walked off again. you let out a small sigh, you knew they had forgotten about you yet again. you bookmarked the page you were on in the notebook and exited into the living room. You padded into the kitchen, where a single peice of paper with your fathers handwriting sat. you picked up the note and began to read.

me and the boys are heading into the village to get some dinner, we'll be back in a few hours

-Dad

you let a huff of air out as you set he note back down, they didn't forget you this time, they willingly left you behind. you stormed back into your room, hoping to calm yourself down by taking a short nap or reading something. When you got into your room and flopped down onto your bed, a brilliant idea formed into your head. You were going to leave, you were old enough to survive on your own anyways, and your family probably wouldn't give two shits anyways. you began to gather up the few belongings you had into your leather backpack. When you had finished packing, you began to write your "goodbye" note to your family.

when you had finished writing on the sugar cane paper, you placed you note beside your fathers note before gathering a few bread and a few carrots. Without a second glance, you left your childhood home behind and set off in the opposite direction your family had gone earlier.

It had been a few years without any contact from your family and you were very happy with who you had become. you lived a happy, successful life so far in a place far away from your childhood home. Now residing in the dream smp, you began to blossom into a wonderful person who was willing to just sit and listen to whoever came to your door. That was until a blonde boy and a man with brown hair came to your door in the dead of night.

You had been awoken by a loud set of knocks at your front door. You had been assuming it was sapnap or bad again. When you opened the front door with a groggy expresion, it was not any of your friends, it was two of your three brothers. "why are you here" you growled. the two looked very shocked at the fact that you stood infront of them, a few years older and very angry. "i'll repeat myself again" you started "what are you doing here?". the two looked you over, you were taller for sure, your once stark white wings had a more dusty grey tint to them, and your (H/C) hair was now (shorter/longer). "(y/n) , is that really you?" wilbur asked, dumbfounded. "yes it is, now answer my damm question". The two looked at eachother, tommy was unnaturally quiet, but wilbur let out a short sigh and began to explain why they were there at that hour.

"you want me to join you in your new country" you asked dumbfounded. you couldn't belive that after going this long without any sort of contact whatsoever, your brothers had the audacity to ask you for help. "Sorta" wilbur mumbled, rubbing the back of his neck as the two boys shifted on their feet. "no" you replied flatly, glaring at the two "why should i help you when you never did anything to help me?" your arms now folded across your body, your face tightening into a scowl. "it was so long ago (y/n), why are you holding a stupid grudge against your family" tommy snapped, shouting at you. all those years ago, you would have flinched away, but you had changed, you were no longer afraid of them. you picked up your sword dream gave you and slung it over your shoulder "get away from my home, your not welcome here" your voice was filled with a hostility the two never saw from you " if i see you two anywhere near my home, i wont hesitate to use force" you threatened. the two left as soon as soon as you closed the door, you stayed up a little while later to make sure they had left.

it was almost a full moth of peace since your brothers had decided to visit, you currently sat kneeled in your garden, weeding your plants when a winged shadow loomed over you, and next to that shadow was a very familiar piglins shadow.

"why are you here" you snapped, standing up and facing your father and your brother. "we just wanted to see you (y/n)" philza explained, holding his hands up in a defensive manner. " i dont care if you wanted to see me" you stated, raising you voice at the two intruders "you lost that right a long time ago" you shouted. "Calm down, your over reacting" techno huffed, crossing his arms as he made eyecontact with you, your (e/c) eyes begining to gloss over. "No, im not going to calm down, i tried to be curteous to you all when i lived with you, but you took advantage of my pushoverness for your own fucking gain" your voice was now a waivering shout. the two men infront of you took a step forward, causing you to step backwards. "dont" you growled, your grey wings pressing against your back tightly "You lost your chance with me when you decided i was no longer good enough for you". You straightened yourself up, hot tears had begun to roll down you face and it made you feel weak. "i was so envious of you all" you muttered, facing away from the two " i wanted something like that with someone, anyone, but i almost never left that clearing" your voice was a soft whimper now, The tears continued to cascade down your face" and now that i finally have my own life and cut my attachment from you, you show up again expecting forgiveness" you turned just your head to look at them,your eyes already puffy from crying " leave now" you said, your voice dangerously low " this is your only warning"