#so like $33 dollars is very reasonable is my point

[elytrafemme]

i think i played sims 4 with my sister for six hours straight today?

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for refusing to buy my friend gold? 

I (f/33) have a very good friend (f/39) who is Hindu and an Indian immigrant, and this year she invited me and my wife (33) to celebrate Diwali with her. My wife and I are white canadians and not religious. We’ve been friends with her for almost a decade, but in the last few years have become very close and now she is basically family. We happily accepted.

We brought over food and the stuff to make paper lanterns, and we had a lovely time. The problem came when near the end of the night, when my friend told me that it’s been so long since she had people to celebrate Diwali with, and she was getting excited for presents. I didn’t know Diwali included presents so I hadn’t brought her anything, besides the craft supplies and food, she said that was fine and we could get her something next year.

I asked her what sort of gift she would like, and she said gold was the traditional gift and, I quote “but make sure it’s above 10 karat or it’s basically tin, I’d just throw it away.”

I thought this was a joke at first so I laughed, which made her confused. I explained that I would never give anyone gold as a gift, I’ve never even gotten my wife gold, we couldn’t even afford wedding rings. When she still looked confused I tried to clarify, and asked how much is a gift of gold, traditionally (since I’ve never bought gold, I had no idea how much it would cost.)

She told me a minimum of 500 dollars.

At this point is the behaviour I think might make me an asshole, because I was laughing in complete disbelief very openly. I told her that was completely insane, and I would happily spend every Diwali with her and get her a gift, but there was no way I was buying her 500 dollars worth of gold, ever, especially not if it was a yearly thing.

I know that in India, my friend was of a pretty high caste socially and her family is well off, and here in Canada she is an accountant who owns her own condo, and is looking to buy more property and become a landlord. My wife and I live frugally, we’re blue collar and both from working class families. An average amount I spend on a Christmas or birthday gifts for someone I’m close to would be about 20-50 bucks.

After I’d explained all this to her, I could tell she was disappointed and it had made her sad and confused. Part of me feels bad for laughing at her tradition, especially since she made the effort to include us and has no family here to celebrate with. But it honestly boggles me, and makes me a bit mad, honestly, which I know is unfair since it’s just differences in how we grew up, but I can’t help feeling annoyed and like she’s not seeing her privilege.

This has been compounded by the fact that for Christmas, which we also celebrated with her, she actually gave us gold, worth quite a lot, in the form of a special coin. We’re not the type to display fancy stuff, so it just sits in storage now. But I’m worried she may expect tit-for-tat, even though the only way we could possibly afford to give her gold back in exchange is if we sold what she gave us which we are definitely not supposed to do.

We still hang out constantly and we will continue to do so, she is a for-life friend for a lot of reasons, and I’d love to make her holidays and celebrations special, but this is just a sticking point for me, and I find myself feeling/acting like a prick every time it’s brought up.

So, AITA? Does anyone have suggestions for this situation?

[brightgnosis]

Are y'all going to be okay with the current storm front? All my midwestern friends are battening down right now.

Oh yeah, we're just fine. I've seen people panicking all over social media, for sure, but frankly, it's a major overreaction. Because this is honestly not that significant of weather for Winter, here in Oklahoma ... Like ... I don't mean to be a callous dick about it, but as someone who has literally grown up in Oklahoma since I was 3, is 33 now, and is intimately familiar with our weather patterns from the 90's through now for a variety of reasons? All this panicking I'm seeing from fellow Okies online right now is very much giving off "you must be new here, huh?" energy; it's like everyone developed Environmental Amnesia or something, or is acting like they're a recent transplant from Cali.

Let's be real ... This, despite predictions of a harsher than usual Winter, has been an incredibly warm and mild Winter for us so far. All we're slated to get is snow (no Sleet. No Rain that will freeze overnight. No Blizzards ... Just Snow). But in context? we're used to having Sleet rather than Snow, here- if not outright Ice Storms- by this point in our Winters. Snow like this is actually the oddball weather for us; snow's not all that normal an occurrence here until February, through much closer to Easter. Sleet is the much more common (and dangerous) Winter problem for Oklahoma. And these temperatures aren't even all that low for here, either (now the random -25f snaps last year, however, were insanely abnormal and absolutely worth panicking over; those temperatures are not common for us in the slightest and did cause us significant problems).

But also: Where my Husband and I currently live actually prepares really well for Winter weather; we're blessed to live in a City, here, that (comparatively) genuinely cares about its constituents and actually puts our tax dollars to appropriate use. Especially where Winter Preparedness and Repair Response Time (etc) is concerned ... Like, to put it into perspective how great our city luckily is? We lost power randomly yesterday because of Wind pickup as the front rolled in (it caught a sagging line and took it out), at exactly 11:11 am, and power was literally back on by 11:27 am on the dot. We're good here, ha.

Thank you so much for the concern, though! It's really sweet! I do genuinely hope that everyone else weathers the weather (ha) safely, and as comfortably as they can, though; I know that a lot of the areas being affected right now are getting hit with a lot worse conditions and are not as used to it nor as lucky as we are, and it's really looking rough for those areas. Oklahoma's just a freaking oddball!

[ijustkindalikebooks]

I recently finished reading all of the books in the Discworld series, the expansive series written by Terry Pratchett that follows a range of characters that live on the same disc? (This was never completely clear, but I assume so?) Our main leads being Sam Vimes, Tiffany Aching, Rincewind and Moist Von Lipwig.

Probably one of the greatest fantasy series of all time, Discworld is makes you cry, makes you laugh, makes you think, and it makes you kind of mad, but all in all, it is a very human experience on a world that is completely incredible (and has a monkey for a librarian, and is there anything better than that?).

These are my favourite books from the series.

Going Postal (book 33) - Moist Von Lipwig is a conman who is then moved into running the Postal Service by Lord Vetinari and what a job to get to be honest. This story is funny and I was laughing out loud several times. The characters are fantastic especially those that work in the post office and it makes for an incredible introduction to the character of Von Lipwig who truly is a great lead character and it makes sense why Pratchett used him in more books.

Monstrous Regiment (book 31) - Truly the story of war? what is it good for? Absolutely nothing. Monstrous Regiment is the story of Polly Perks who is looking for her brother on the frontline and ends up in Vimes' monstrous regiment. The characters are endearing and funny, the plot moves fast and really allows you to invest in everyone in the story and leaves you thinking and that for me is truly the sign of a good book.

Mort (book 4) - I loved this book so much and really appreciated the incredible plot, the amazing characters particularly that of Death. Mort is the apprentice of death and it makes for a good life, freedom to the horse, board and a wage, and it makes for a pretty good adventure too. I wasn't sure if I wasn't going to continue the series at this point, but this one made me keep going and I am so glad I did.

Witches Abroad (book 12) - Granny Weatherwax is probably one of the best characters in this series, and this book is so good. The plot is to stop a happy ending of a prince ending up with a servant girl it really does make for a funny and also a thought provoking read. The quote from Granny Weatherwax in this book:

“Listen, happy endings is fine if they turn out happy,” said Granny, glaring at the sky. “But you can’t make ’em for other people. Like the only way you could make a happy marriage is by cuttin’ their heads off as soon as they say ‘I do’, yes? You can’t make happiness…” Granny Weatherwax stared at the distant city. “All you can do,” she said, “is make an ending.”

Witches Abroad is iconic.

Night Watch (book 29) - I do feel as the series goes on, the better it gets and Night Watch is definitely one of those books where you are left with an incredible array of characters, a story that pulls you in and a way in to a series that you will never want to end. Vimes is probably one of my favourite characters in a series ever, this book is one of the reasons why.

Also this quote is from Night Watch Men At Arms and it's spot on:

“The reason that the rich were so rich, Vimes reasoned, was because they managed to spend less money. Take boots, for example. He earned thirty-eight dollars a month plus allowances. A really good pair of leather boots cost fifty dollars. But an affordable pair of boots, which were sort of okay for a season or two and then leaked like hell when the cardboard gave out, cost about ten dollars. Those were the kind of boots Vimes always bought, and wore until the soles were so thin that he could tell where he was in Ankh-Morpork on a foggy night by the feel of the cobbles. But the thing was that good boots lasted for years and years. A man who could afford fifty dollars had a pair of boots that’d still be keeping his feet dry in ten years’ time, while a poor man who could only afford cheap boots would have spent a hundred dollars on boots in the same time and would still have wet feet. This was the Captain Samuel Vimes ‘Boots’ theory of socio-economic unfairness.”

To take this series apart is a difficult one, even if they can be read separately. I really appreciate how connected these books feel and the different perspectives we get. I like the spotlight we get on people's lives as we move through the series and how even in the maddest of moments there's a moment you can relate to.

I loved reading this series, and it bookslumped me when I finished it, so I hope if you're going to do this and read them all I highly recommend some books to reread you love to save yourself.

GNU Terry Pratchett.

Vee xo.

[starlit-mansion]

I think it's hard to articulate because like. I'm 33, I'm fully an adult and i'm aware of where the nostalgia lies with my generation and my generation is spending money, they should be a bigger concern, but like, the reason why they made mario a bland cool guy everyman was because. they ( the suits, the higher ups, the arbiters of culture under capitalism, whoever) thought it was better or more profitable than him being mario the classic character. and it FEELS very much like leaving money on the table to us, like a slap in the face when it would be SO simple to fix, and it's discordant with the amount of love and passion and detail in the other stuff we've seen, but fundamentally all the the love is only valuable if it translates to dollars and so. they don't care.

i don't even like mario that much. i don't like star wars or marvel or dc but i know enough to see how all these things are being milked for cash, and the passion that people have for these things, that the creatives have for making them good, is another commodity, one that will be short-sold until the rare occasions where the earth is fully salted (for a while. til the reboot/prequel/sideseries/tv movie comes along), and there's no real point to this part of the conversation other than it sucks.

I'm not saying any one indie project will save the culture from its bloated corpse phase (hell, i'm watching indie franchises i love deliquesce into similar bags of gas and rot month by month, and i'm as gripped as anyone else for my own trash), i'm not saying that there's no value in any of the corporate stuff, but idk. it brings me some comfort to see film projects that excite me from the youtubers i love that aren't endless nostalgia grabs, or comics projects on pateron, or all sorts of efforts that would not have gotten even the little foothold they have now in a pre-internet climate, so that keeps me from declaring that art is dead and disney killed it or whatever.

[briamichellewrites]

33

Matt Damon was enjoying his dinner when he caught a glimpse of a beautiful woman being seated with three guys. She had long brown hair and a tall, thin body. He guessed she was in her early twenties. The guys she was with looked slightly older. Maybe they were on a double date or were just friends hanging out. He heard one of them mentioning not having been there before. She had always wanted to go, but for some reason forgot it existed.

She usually went to Nobu or the Chateau Marmont. Mike had dinner with her at Nobu. It was fifty dollars for a steak but it was the best steak he ever had! Rob jokingly asked him what the poor cow had to do to deserve to be eaten by him. They laughed. Wasn’t Phoenix there, too?

“Oh, yeah. He was”, he said.

“I’ll have to take you, him, and Jason out for dinner sometime.”

“Bria, you will never leave us hungry”, Brad joked.

“I love spoiling you guys. You guys are awesome and deserve it one hundred percent because you never ask me for anything.”

Thank you. They appreciated that. Rob jokingly asked for five million dollars. Fuck you. They laughed. No, he didn’t want that from her. He was content making his own money. What was she going to do now that she was home? She was going to research getting a horse. It was different from getting a kitten or a puppy because they had different needs. She didn’t want to do anything impulsively.

She knew they ate hay and they needed exercise. Mike agreed it was different. They were also more expensive because they were bigger animals than cats and dogs. He would help her research what she needed. She thought that would be an awesome idea. He pointed out she already had a barn with stalls. She could take care of a horse because of how well she took care of Woody, Missy, and Buddy. He just wanted her to be fully prepared. They agreed.

Since she had so much energy, she thought about using her pool. Mike would sit on the edge because he didn’t bring his swim trunks. Was she going to stay awake for another three to four days? She hoped not! They laughed. What happened? She just had too much energy? Yeah, her mind was so exhausted that it couldn’t calm itself down. It was like an overly tired toddler.

When she got up to use the bathroom, Matt finally made herself known. They all introduced themselves. Was their friend single? Yes, she was. He apologized but he couldn’t help but notice how beautiful she was. They agreed she was gorgeous! She was more beautiful inside. He handed Brad a piece of paper and asked him to give it to her. I will do that. With that, he got up having paid his bill and leaving a tip.

Oh my god! He and Rob looked at the piece of paper. What was it? It had his name and phone number. He held it up for Mike to see. Oh my god! Bria was so beautiful, she could turn heads by walking into a room. It wasn’t just them who noticed it. But she was even more beautiful inside.

She was funny, independent, not afraid to keep them in line, and strong. But she also had a vulnerable side. Underneath her personality was a girl fighting against mental illness. Her mind played tricks on her and it wasn’t always kind. They saw what she couldn’t. When she got back to the table, Brad handed her the piece of paper. What is this? After sitting down, she looked at it before holding it up. Dude! They laughed. Oh my god! She got out her phone and texted him to see if it was legitimate.

Hey, it’s Bria. The girl at Koi with the three guys. Just making sure this is Matt. – Bria

They finished eating and paid what they could afford. She got the rest with her card. They all thanked her. They were very welcome. She left a great tip for the staff. It was something her parents taught her. Even if the food and/or service wasn’t the greatest, she should still leave a good tip. They told her that the staff depended heavily on tips to pay their bills.

It was also a great way of saying thank you and appreciation. Every time they went out to eat with her, they modeled what they expected from her. When they got back to her place, they said goodbye to Brad and Rob before going inside. It had been another fun afternoon and evening. She still had a lot of energy, so she was going to use the pool. It had been about a half hour since she finished eating and her stomach had settled. He went in after taking off his socks and shoes.

He sat on the edge with his pants legs rolled up. The water felt wonderful! Next time, he was going to bring his swim trunks so he could swim around with her. Maybe he would just put them into a bag in his car or keep them at her place. It would be easier that way. She came down with Buddy and Missy behind her. They whined because they wanted to use the pool. She asked Mike what he thought.

He thought it would be okay since they would be watching them. Yay! They ran inside. Thank you, humans! They laughed at their excitement. She took off Missy’s dress because she didn’t want it to get wet before getting in. Mike took it from her. He would keep it dry. The dogs got in after her and paddled around. They were as happy as dogs could be. Mike understood why she would be hesitant about letting them in. What if they drowned? She would hate herself.

It was why she had the door installed. They would have to be rinsed off to get the saltwater out. That was why she had the dog washing station installed in the laundry room. The house was designed and built with her animals in mind.

Haha yes, it is. It’s nice to meet you. I’m sorry I didn’t introduce myself before. – Matt

Rob and Brad were stuffed when they got home. They both had leftovers, which went into the refrigerator. Rob kissed his cheek, making him laugh. Neither of them liked PDA so they always waited until they got home to be affectionate with each other. They were going home to Agoura Hills to have dinner with their families at Brad’s parents’ house.

It was only a forty-minute drive but they had been busy promoting their album. It would be them, their parents and brothers. Rob had a younger brother named, Dave while Brad had two younger brothers, Greg and Jeff. Their families loved each other and they wanted them to get married. They were talking about getting engaged. The only issue they were having was the question of children. Brad wanted children but Rob was unsure.

They didn’t want to break up, so they were working together on how to compromise. Brad was not going to push him into doing anything he didn’t want to. He knew and respected that. Even if they did break up, they were mature enough to not have it affect their friendship or the band.

Did she want to hook up? Yes. She sent Matt her address before getting ready. Mike had just left, so she hopped into the shower to rinse the saltwater off. She was getting dressed as the intercom buzzed. It was him. She told him she would be down in a minute. When she opened the door, she looked at the man standing in front of her. He was gorgeous! They introduced themselves before she invited him in. They then went upstairs to her room.

@zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @alina-dixon

[rosysugarr]

I posted 13,287 times in 2022

That's 12,036 more posts than 2021!

2,828 posts created (21%)

10,459 posts reblogged (79%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@rosysugarr

@veryfrightened

@aropride

@the-dumb-smart-friend

@enderwalk

I tagged 6,460 of my posts in 2022

#rosychatter - 1,583 posts

#rosyanswers - 328 posts

#rosyclips - 86 posts

#rosyreads - 70 posts

#youtube - 66 posts

#dsmp spoilers - 55 posts

#rosyliveblog - 50 posts

#rosyloves - 49 posts

#me - 33 posts

#drugs tw - 30 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#yet way before that they were comfy enough with each other to play around and say flirty shit at each other in front of thousands of people

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

honestly, his childishness is a big part of cdream that I don't see nearly enough people talk about when discussing him. It's a massive part of what makes him so fucking creepy at times, imo? Like, when talking to cTommy, he'll switch on the fly between talking to cTommy like he's a friend, talking to him like an older bully of a child, and talking to him like a disappointed and angry adult, and then, in other scenes, he'll turn into the slasher movie monster I mentioned before while TALKING like a child.

Like. The scene where he's chasing Tommy down in Logstedshire is a perfect example of this: he is an adult chasing a teenager down with an axe, yet he's calling out to him saying things like "oh what, are you gonna cry?" as if he's just an older boy shoving Tommy into his locker between classes. When Tommy lashed out at him in fear during that scene, his response was "Don't hit me," in the tone of a scolding, disappointed adult, but there's a distinct undertone of amusement there, too.

1,227 notes - Posted August 24, 2022

#4

HEY THIS IS SUPER IMPORTANT: BIG BIG UNREALITY/PARANOIA WARNING IF YOU SEE THIS POST. It is NOT tagged or flagged so heads up if you have trouble with that kinda stuff!!!!

I just got it blazed to me so I thought I'd warn everyone!

1,440 notes - Posted October 2, 2022

#3

Scrolling over my dash for my once-daily allowed glance at tumblr and I just wanna say something, because this apparently seems to not be clear: when someone on here says "REBLOG ART, LIKES DO NOTHING REBLOG IT" they don't mean you have to reblog every single thing you see. What they MEAN is that if you see a piece of art that you like, instead of just hitting the like button, you need to also reblog it, because that is what actually helps the creator reach more people.

No one wants or expects you to reblog every piece of art you see. That's not the point. What we're asking for is for those who see our art and enjoy it to reblog it rather than just liking it, because likes have literally no effect. Think of likes as more akin to bookmarking something.

1,954 notes - Posted October 20, 2022

#2

Hey, Minecraft enjoyers. Weird question: do you have, like... a "home" biome? Like, not necessarily your favorite biome to build in, but just the one that feels the most like home when you build your base there? Like. It just feels Right.

Mine is the Plains tbh

9,375 notes - Posted September 25, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

no actually I'm gonna give this its own post.

get yourself a USB stick from any dollar store, install ubuntu with persistent storage on it. There is literally no reason not to, and it means that you now have a little computer of your very own that no one except those who physically get their hands on your USB stick can use (and you can password lock the OS) and that you can run from literally almost any PC with USB ports.

If you're a kid who needs privacy, someone in trouble who just needs their own machine to play and talk to people on, somebody who doesn't have the money to get your own computer, etc etc etc, do this. Actually do this even if you do have your own computer. There is literally no reason to not have a little backup system on a thumb drive that you can use anytime. If your main computer starts acting up or gets fucked over by an update or something? Just plug in your thumb drive and use your computer from your handy-dandy mini Ubuntu installation.

EDIT: I have seen many radfems reblogging this post. I just want yall to know that op here is a nonbinary they/he lesbian and that if you touched my post you now have gross trans cooties on your blog forever and that I hope they infect and kill you. <3

49,438 notes - Posted August 22, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[softyarnball]

Gold Diggers

I grew up in a very good household; however, while my mom’s side is quite misogynistic, my dad’s side is deeply anti-intellectual and opportunistic.

My dad’s side is so anti-intellectual that they consider studying is unnecessary, much to the point that they are so uncivilized. They always look to make money out of familial relationships, from siblings, from parents. They ditched my dad whenever he was out of money. They welcomed him with as wide arms as possible whenever he was doing well.

My dad was independent of his side of the family ever since he got married. Before that, he helped his side of the family financially. He once helped his aunt to migrate to the US. That family now lived in NC, not too far away from where I stay now. However, except for a few exchanges when I first stepped into the US, I hardly heard from them. While my boyfriend received snacks and gifts every now and then from his family, my distant relatives, who my dad helped when they were in need, are rarely in contact. I am not surprised. I just don’t care enough. I just acknowledge their ungratefulness like my mom always did.

Ever since he got married, my dad shifted his focus on this little family, to which my dad’s side was furious, so much so that they hated my mom for that. My mom is everything they hate. She wants me to have an intellectual life, or at least have a proper education. She wants separation from that large and dramatic family. That was why they would feel contented if anyone in my family failed. Indeed, they did when I dated my bf. 

When my brother was born 3 months premature, they didn’t even help a dime. They offered to help, symbolically, $33 out of thousands of dollars needed for my brother’s treatment. Another time, my brother was diagnosed with retina detachment, a condition that requires treatment from the leading ophthalmologist in the North. Yet, they did not even care about the financial resources that my parents had to pull to treat my brother. They were willing to receive every penny from my father for my grandmother’s treatment due to old age, although my dad had 8 other siblings who could help at that time.

This time, my brother made the dumb mistake of not studying seriously for the SAT or taking the scholarship application seriously. He’s so spoiled that he would do anything he wanted without considering my parents’ financial situation. So, we have been very frugal these last few years. 

Of course, my dad’s sides, again, did not care. My grandparents sold some of their properties and lived lavishly on that little money from the transactions. My dad was not informed of that, although he did give my grandma some money to help buy a part in that whole colossal property. My grandparents awarded each grandchild who went to college a small amount of money but still remembered to exclude my brother and me. Do they think my dad is hungry for the little retirement money on which they would rely? My dad only says it would be nice that my grandparents have something to rely on when it comes to the hospital and stuff. It is exactly what any reasonable person would think or feel for their parents.

[plaguedocboi]

More scary waters, by popular demand!

Since my last post ranking bodies of water really, really blew up, I decided to make a second. Some of these were suggested by people (in which case I’ll credit them), and some were just ones that didn’t quite make the cut for the first list.

I’ll also be doing a third list ranking the most toxic bodies of water in the world, so stay tuned for that.

Also, keep in mind that these aren’t ranked by how dangerous they are. They’re ranked by how scary I, personally, find them. So if the rating seems off, it’s due to which ones inspire a visceral reaction in me and which ones don’t.

Silfra Rift, Iceland

This one is something that I actually find very beautiful rather than scary, but it still seems like something that others might be freaked out by. The Silfra Rift is the point where the Eurasian and North American continental plates are pulling apart, creating a crack in the earth that filled with water. The water here is incredibly clear, and you can see all the way down to the bottom even in the deepest spots (which are almost 200 feet down, by the way). It’s the only place in the world where you can put your hands on two different continents at the same time! I’ve had the privilege of snorkeling here, and although it’s definitely deep, I wasn’t terribly scared due to the fact that the rift is just so beautiful. The only danger to swimmers is the temperature; it stays between 35-39 F year-round, meaning anyone getting into the water needs a full drysuit to avoid getting hypothermia or worse. I give the Silfra Rift a 1/10 fear rating because I thought I would be much more freaked out by it than I was.

Dragon Hole, China

While not as visually striking as the Great Blue Hole in Belize, this sinkhole in China is the deepest “blue hole” in the world. This pit descends 987 feet down. This earns a 2/10 purely because this is just a goddamn hole in the ocean that’s almost 1,000 ft deep and I don’t care for that.

Lake Tanganyika, multiple countries (suggested by @iguessiamhere)

This lake didn’t quite make the cut for the first list because it comes in second to Lake Baikal. It’s the second-oldest, second-deepest, and second-largest (by volume) lake in the world. But someday, Lake Tanganyika may be number 1, because just like Baikal, it’s a Rift Valley. It’s getting bigger every day, and in a few million years when Baikal is an ocean, Tanganyika might be the largest lake by default. Its 4,820 ft depth earns it a 3/10.

Lake Superior, US/Canada (suggested by multiple people)

This is the largest of the Great Lakes, and the third-largest lake in the world. It reaches depths of over 1,000 feet and has a surface area of over 31,700 square miles. Lake Superior is the site of over 350 shipwrecks and contains roughly 10,000 dead bodies. The reason these bodies are never recovered is because the lake is very cold, and very deep. The lake bottom is essentially a sterile environment, where bodies are preserved for eternity instead of floating up as a normal body would. This lake holds onto her dead. 4/10 for sheer danger and alarming amount of dead bodies.

Cenote Angelita, Mexico ( @olive-k wanted a cenote, and this list has two!)

This is a cenote with an underwater river running through it. No, I’m not kidding. Underwater rivers are actually quite common, but they rarely exist in places that humans can see them. Usually they’re caused by a current moving in a different direction than the majority of the water, or a boundary between water with different density (as is the case here). The “river” appearance in Angelita is enhanced by dead trees, giving the appearance of a bank. For the first 100 feet, this cave has regular freshwater. But a little deeper lies a layer of hazy hydrogen sulfate, and beneath that is 100 feet of salt water. This ranks 5/10 because can you imagine descending towards a hazy patch of water and branches that you assume is the bottom, only to pass right through it and see a gaping black expanse beneath? No thanks.

Devil’s Hole, Nevada

As a biologist, this is somewhere that I actually want to visit. This tiny waterhole in the desert is the only place that the endangered Devil’s Hole Pupfish lives. But we’re not here to learn about cute fish, we’re here to read about unsettling waterways. And hooo boy, this one is pretty weird. Because despite its appearance, this isn’t a little rainwater pool. It’s the opening to a huge cave system, which reaches depths of at least 500 feet. We’re not totally sure, though, because the bottom has never been mapped, and several people have died trying to attempt it. 6/10, since it’s very deep, hasn’t been fully mapped, and is apparently haunted.

Eagle’s Nest Sinkhole, Florida

There is literally a sign in front of this sinkhole that reads “STOP. Prevent your death. There is nothing in this cave worth dying for” accompanied by a picture of the Grim Reaper. Need I say more? Probably not, but I will anyway. This sinkhole is the only surface opening to a cave system that stretches several miles and plunges to over 300 feet deep. Miles of twisting, confusing, narrow passages with only one exit make for an extremely dangerous cave system. For some fucking reason, it’s a very popular dive site. At least 11 people have died here since the 80’s, and is referred to as the “Underwater Mt Everest” because of how dangerous it is. 7/10.

Zacatón, Mexico

This cenote was literally considered “bottomless” for a long time, because no one could find the bottom. Multiple expeditions were attempted, including one where a man died after reaching 925 feet without finding the end. It took a multi-million dollar operation funded by NASA to find the bottom of this hole. I’m not kidding. Turns out, it’s 1,099 feet deep, making it the deepest cenote in the world. It disturbs me that it took NASA and a robot designed to map alien moons to locate where this hole ended, so it earns an 8/10.

Saltstraunen, Norway (suggested by anon)

This narrow strait is home to the strongest tidal currents on the planet. Roughly 110 billion gallons of seawater move in and out of this corridor every six hours, creating violent currents. These tidal movements are so strong they create a phenomenon very similar to the whirlpool in Scotland—the Saltstaunen Maelstrom. This vortex is 33 feet across and forms four times a day as the tides go in and out. Although this whirlpool is only 16 feet deep (very shallow compared to Scotland’s) the currents alone would probably destroy you if you ever fell into this strait. 9/10 because damn.

Blue Lake, Russia

Despite having the least creative name of all time, the Blue Lake is anything but boring. Like the Zacatón, this lake had a reputation for being bottomless for a long time. A diver died after descending to 394 feet, and another barely survived after going down to 685 feet. Neither found the bottom. Eventually, the bottom was discovered and it came as a surprise. The lake itself is only 770 ft by 426 ft, but it is 846 ft deep. This lake is deeper than it is long. It is also a constant 48 degrees F, making hypothermia a risk for any swimmers. If that’s not bad enough, it’s also full of hydrogen sulfide, which makes the air around the lake potentially dangerous. However, people do still dive here on occasion (mostly for research purposes) and the lake is surprisingly beautiful beneath the surface. Still, that doesn’t make it any less deep, cold, and poisonous, so this is a 10/10 for me.

Honorable mention: The Mariana’s Trench, because although it’s not really a specific body of water it’s the deepest point in the ocean, at 7 miles below the surface!

[the-phoenix-heart]

10 Amazing Futurama Comics

There is a severe lack of Futurama content on this and other sites (seriously, the Night at the Museum movies have more fics than Futurama). And, nobody posts about the Futurama comics. So I’m posting 10 of my favorites.

10. Attack of the 50-Foot Amy (Issue #33)

It’s actually not as sexual as the cover makes it out to be. The basic premise is that Amy mistakes the can of growth spray (that Cubert and Dwight want to use for their science fair project) for hair spray and sprays waaaay too much before her anniversary date with Kif. Meanwhile, Bender teaches Fry the wonders of video piracy, but after he gets scared by a movie home alone style he eats his disc of pirated movies and starts uncontrollably acting them out. You can probably guess how these two plots connect.

While I do list this one as one of my favorites, it’s far from perfect. The artwork is good, but the scaling on Amy is very wonky so she looks more like a twenty-foot Amy (also Dwight’s eyes are drawn weird in this comic, he looks blazed out the entire time). But I cannot help but be charmed by this comic. It’s got some sweet Bender and Fry friendship moments and actually makes me believe Kif and Amy’s relationship for a little bit. They are very sweet in this comic, although Kif does go through some pain in this comic.

Best moments: They way they resolve the plot is actually pretty funny and clever, plus Bender hopped up on pirated movies is a joy. At one point Fry gets shoved by Steven Spielbot (don’t ask) and Bender goes all Rocky on his ass saying “No one talks to my gal, Adrian, like that!” It’s very sweet and...subtextual if you understand my meaning. This one also has anti comic book piracy message at the end which was ironic for me to read.

9. Doctor What (Issue #32)

The Professor creates a time traveling port-a-potty so that you can pee in whatever time and space you want, although it’s completely random. However, Zoidberg accidentally breaks the potty, so him, Leela, Fry, and Bender have to keep randomly flushing to get back home. On each of these new worlds Zoidberg keeps accidentally saving the citizens, getting medals, and ends up becoming addicted to the fame he keeps winning. Which leads to them getting stuck in a post apocalyptic New New York.

This is the infamous Leela-Bender-Fry fusion comic, Leelan von Fry-Bot. His backstory is actually a little sad, but I won’t spoil it here. This one is pretty good, because it has Zoidberg as the hero. Actually quite a few of these feature Zoidberg as a fourth member of the delivery crew which is weird, but not entirely unwelcome. It’s also fun to see these other worlds, and now that I think about it it’s actually a little similar to The Late Phillip J. Fry, what with the time travel to different interesting worlds.

Best Moments: I actually liked Leelan’s backstory, and his interactions with his “parents” (you’ll understand when you read it) are actually pretty funny and a little cute. Fry really wants to be a dad you can tell.

8. The Simpsons Futurama Crossover Crisis II

The professor creates a device that takes characters out of their stories into the real world. Trouble is, he tells the mayor that this invention is useful because you can get slave labor out of the characters because they technically have no constitutional rights. The Simpsons end up working with the Planet Express crew, but an accident leads to the release of ALL FICTIONAL CHARACTERS EVER.

This is a sequel comic to the Futurama Simpsons Infinitely Secret Crossover Crisis (fun fact: a reference to several famous comic book arcs). I chose this one above it though because I think it understood the assignment better. The original is funny, but I just don’t think that Springfield is a good setting for a Futurama crossover. Springfield for all its zaniness, is not the future. New New York, however, is great for this crossover. We get several scenes where we see the Simpsons going through space and fighting off monsters. We even get to see the other residents of Springfield in the future, Mr. Smithers becomes a space pirate and Mr. Burns falls in love with Mom, it’s great.

Best Moments: Some of them I already mentioned, but I cannot stress enough how hilarious the Burns-Mom romance is, it’s especially good when you can hear their voices in your head. I also like the friendship the Simpsons have with the Planet Express crew.

7. Six Characters in Search of a Story (Issue #14)

This is a very interesting comic. The Professor falls asleep, so to pass the time the crew decides to look through his old failed inventions, and well, that’s a very bad idea. The most interesting thing about this comic is it’s designed so that if you want you can only read certain panels to follow one person’s story. The Futurama comics do this a lot of the time and it’s always interesting.

The shenanigans that occur in this one are really funny, and there are some great looking pages in this. Also the Futurama crew clearly took ideas from the comics, and this is one of them. You can tell from the cover art that this does have elements of “Benderama” in it, what with Bender cloning himself ad infinitum. I also really like the climax, it’s a little schmultz-y for Futurama, but I don’t mind.

Best Moments: Fry gets stuck with a Spanish speaking Bender and I don’t know why but it’s really funny to me. The professor also gets some funny moments in this one. And Scruffy. Scruffy is always a delight.

6. Igner-ance is Bliss! (Issue #63)

Yeah this is the infamous robot Leela and Fry comic. Don’t worry, like the cover says, it’s not as dramatic as it looks. The crew has to go to a world that’s too dangerous for humans, so Fry, Leela, and Zoidberg all have their consciousnesses put into robot doubles so they can make the delivery. However, it turns out this planet is a sort of getaway spa for robots, and the crew decides to party it up there, at least until Bender discovers that this is a front for an evil plot by Mom. The subplot is mostly about how Igner is not respected by his brothers.

This one is fun, and I love a comic where Bender has to be the voice of reason. It is clearly killing him to be the responsible one, but I love it. Also, I have a soft spot for Igner, so it’s nice to see him get thrown a bone for once. This also has some really fun jokes with everyone, but Zoidberg in particular gets some bangers. I think my only problem is it ISN’T as cool as the cover makes it out, but like I’m happy with what it is.

Best Moments: Fry beats up Bender at one point and wins, I think he deserved it. Also, y’all know Admiral Ackbar from Star Wars? He makes some cameos in this one. Also all the robots (sans Bender) make a Japanese style mecha and it’s the coolest thing ever. Plus everything I’ve said about Igner I love in this one. Oh also Fry beats Calculon at poker and I really love that.

5. Who’s Dying to be a Gazillionaire? (Issue #5)

This one is sweet. The IRS is threatening to bankrupt Planet Express, and if they can’t think of a way to make a million dollars they will go out of business. No one really has any ideas and doesn’t even really care, except for Fry who is determined to save Planet Express. He gets the idea to go onto Who Wants to be a Gazillionaire to make the money, even though it’s a trivia show and if he loses he will die.

This one really warms my heart, it’s Fry at his best, just doing what he can for the people he loves. Even the professor is great in this one. I don’t want to spoil it, but trust me when I say it’s good (god I hope I’m not building this up too much).

Best moments: The end panel. But also the resolution of the story is great, and I really appreciate this comic for Fry as a character.

4. Rumble in the Jungle (Issue #38)

This is a fine comic. Leela is mad that she’s not being respected by Fry and Bender, and it’s bad enough that they don’t believe her when she says they’re going to crash into a planet. They end up parachuting down and getting separated. Leela ends up as queen of some workers in the “Amazon,” meanwhile Fry finds Bender’s corpse and goes off to avenge him.

This one is fun, and another fun one for Fry, because he’s determined to avenge Bender and works hard for it. This also includes the original Frender, not the ship but fusion. Leela and Fry even have a fight scene against each other and it’s honestly great.

Best Moments: Fry is great throughout the entire comic, and Leela spends most of her time beating up random animals. Bender also using a lead parachute he made out of toys he stole from children is funny, especially because I’m always a sucker for Bender doing dumb shit.

3. Don’t Go Taking My Heart! (Issue #69) (nice)

Mom only has a couple weeks to live, unless she can get a heart transplant. It’s revealed that Mom uses the cryogenics lab to get new body parts for herself, and that Fry was supposed to be her heart donor! Unfortunately, because he was unfrozen she now has to get him to work for Mom Corp to make sure his heart stays intact for the procedure.

If you can’t tell I love the Fry-centric comics, and I also like the comics where Mom is the villain. Of course this comic doesn’t go completely how you expect it to go, it’s actually REALLY sweet. I also love the fact that in this comic Fry actually makes a great intern. He basically has the job of a secretary and he’s GOOD at it. And I love seeing when Fry is good at things. The reason why I put this at only 3 is because it doesn’t really have a subplot. Bender gets a job at mom corp to but it’s only there for a couple pages, and Leela’s new crew gets two panels and that’s it.

Best Moments: The moments with Mom and Fry, but also guess who Mom’s doctor is? I’m actually not going to reveal it because it’s so random but also hilarious.

2. Boomsday! (Issue #58)

The Professor builds Bender his own parents, as a way to placate/discipline Bender. However, these parents decide that Fry is a bad influence on Bender, leading to them kicking him out. Meanwhile, the Professor’s doomsday devices are all stolen, and he has to go find them.

Both of these plots are funny and good. Bender’s plot is also really sweet what with his friendship with Fry, and his wish for parents. Meanwhile the Professor’s plot is just really funny and I do love seeing the Professor in his element. The ending is mostly heartwarming.

Best Moments: Everything with Fry and Bender, and Bender has a sweet relationship with his fake parents. Also, the Professor uses Issac Asimov candles on the robot mafia which I found a great joke. Oh, and the Professor’s first doomsday device was made when he was four years old and I love that. The end of the comic also has very nice message.

1. Rotten to the Core (Issue #27)

The world’s weather has gone kerflooey, and the Professor has figured out that his invention that can drill into the center of the Earth has been used. It conspires that Bender sold it at a yard sale to some aliens call the magmoids. The magmoids are trying to steal magma from the Earth’s core and the crew has to go and stop them.

This is my favorite because it’s a great character comic. All of the main three have great moments, and it’s also a great science comic. The Earth’s core is incredibly magnetic so of course Bender starts spouting out folk songs, and also SECRETS. I can’t believe no one has used the fact that canonically magnets make Bender incapable of telling lies. Anyway, it’s just really fun.

Best Moments: Way too many to count. Bender and Fry are told to cut out the “Brokeback Moanin,’“ Leela and Fry are bitter at the end, Fry tells story about his childhood, Bender has some great secrets to tell, the Professor gets a really fun ending, Bender has a rare moment of generosity, and the entirety of the climax is all kinds of fun and sweet.

[greatbigbellies]

New commission story. This is an anonymous commission about a dysfunctional couple who wind up pregnant with sextuplets! Contains heavy multiples pregnancy, stuffing, humiliation, and discomfort.

They had been dating for three months, and living together for one, and Morgan was already at his wits end. Lilith, his girlfriend, was lovely, and sweet, and pretty, and all the things he wanted in a girl… but she was also ungodly frustrating because of one reason, and one reason only: she refused to do ANYTHING that might be considered work.

She was between jobs, hadn’t so much as taken out the trash, and still hadn’t unpacked from moving in with Morgan! Now he made good money. Morgan could support the two of them and then some, and he didn’t want a maid for a girlfriend, but what he did want was some backup. Coming home from work every day to see Lilith sitting on the couch playing videogames, with a sink full of dirty dishes, a can full of trash, and a pile of takeout containers was absolutely grating.

So finally, he hatched a plan. Something almost cartoonishly vindictive, but it had to be done, as far as Morgan was concerned. He’d ruin her. He’d knock her up, stuff her full of food, and watch her inflate like a balloon. If she wasn’t going to move, then he’d make her physically incapable of moving! Multiples ran in both of their families, so with any luck, she’d land pregnant with more than one. He also did all of the cooking. ALL of it. So sneaking fertility meds into her meals wouldn’t be too difficult either, he’d decided. And so, his campaign of corpulence began.

13 Weeks

“Nrrrrggghhh… come ON! Damnit!” Lilith swore as she attempted to button her favorite jeans. They had been holding up well through the first trimester, stretching with her skin, but that was starting to change. Of course, a lot had changed in the last 3 months… she’d found herself pregnant, with SEXTUPLETS no less, and was dealing with the ramifications poorly. She’d been stress eating a lot, something Morgan had been enabling quite a bit, and her tummy was already showing some growth. Both from food and babies, her waistline had a definite visible baby bump, and her belly button was flattened and preparing to pop.

“What’s wrong?” asked Morgan as he stepped into the room, a smile in his voice. He looked to see her wearing just jeans and a bra, fighting with the waistline of her pants. “I’m too big for my favorite pair of jeans! These have the cute patches in them!” she lamented. “Oh babe...” he trailed off, circling around to her front. He pulled something out of his pocket and knelt down. She eyed him suspiciously, not sure where he was going with this. He revealed the item to be a thin rubber band, which he stuck through the button hole and wrapped both ends around the base of the button. “Voila!” he grinned. She frowned in return. “Really? A rubber band? They’re not buttoned properly, people will judge me!” “Babe, we’re just going to the mall, it’ll be fine, now put a shirt on and do your makeup so we can get going!” he urged. “Are we going by JCPenny’s to get me a bigger wardrobe?” she asked. Morgan had turned to leave but stopped at the question. He had to think of an excuse quickly. 

“Not yet…” he said. “But I’ll get my quarterly bonus soon, then we’ll go clothes shopping then!” he lied. She crossed her arms and glared at him, somewhat temperamental from pregnancy hormones. “You’re really going to make me walk around with unbuttoned pants and a top that rides up because you want to wait for a bonus?!” he grumped. He rolled his eyes and sighed. “We can’t be all willy-nilly with money anymore, Lilith, we have six kids on the way!” he retorted. Her face tightened, then softened. He was right. She rubbed her tummy and sighed. “Yeah, okay, what’s like… one more week with tight clothes? Your bonus is coming in soon right?” He nodded, “Any day now,”

20 weeks

 7 more weeks came and went, and Lilith saw no sign of that bonus… or her feet. Now looking full term with one baby, Morgan had been doing a number on her figure. All of the weight seemed to gravitate to her midriff, and so her tummy grew both with child and with a thin layer of fat. Still despite the small wrapping of chub, her bellybutton managed to work its way into a full fledged outie, about as big around as her thumb. 

She sat on the couch in her usual spot, playing a first person shooter on the console, but it didn’t feel the same anymore. She’d gotten in an argument with Morgan before he went to work. A conversation about job prospects got ugly when Morgan pointed out she was too visibly pregnant for anyone to hire her. “Get comfy babe,” he’d said, almost mockingly, “You’re not going anywhere for a while,” There was some yelling, and swearing, and Morgan ended up stomping out the door, it was an all around rotten day.

That was, until the door opened, to reveal Morgan carrying what had to be $40+ dollars in takeout from Lilith’s favorite restaurant. “Oh my god, babe, what’s all this?” she asked, turning to watch him. “I felt bad about our fight earlier, so I bought enough food to keep you and the babies happy, as a gesture of good will,” he explained. “Oh, honey, that’s so sweet of you, but I already had dinner! I-” “All the better!” he cut her off. “You’re eating for seven now, and the doc said to let you eat as much as you could, so…” he set the bags on the coffee table beside her. Morgan smiled down at Lilith, looking at her with those cold steel blue eyes. Lilith brushed some of her bright blue hair behind her ear and broke eye contact. “I don’t know hon… that’s a lot of food there…” she trailed off.

Morgan sat next to her, between Lilith and the food, and placed a hand on her bare midriff, running a palm over her stretching skin. “I know it feels like a lot, but this is for the babies! We have to get them up to weight by the time you’re full term, and the only way to do that is to eat everything your stomach can handle,” he explained, somewhat firmly. She sighed, “Yeah, I guess you’re right, for the babies,” she took the first of three heaping takeout containers full of teriyaki chicken, chow mein, and rice, and got to work. 

Morgan kept close to make sure she ate every last bite, only getting up to bring her water when she asked for it. The first box went down pretty quickly, her pregnant appetite getting the best of her. The second was remarkably slower, and Morgan could see it filling out her tummy, causing it to push farther out, just slightly. By the time they hit the third box, she was struggling. “Babe I’m too full… I’m done,” she whined in protest. “Nope, you need to finish what you started,” Morgan said, once again rather firmly. “Morgan I’m gonna throw up if I push it any more…” He took the plastic fork and gathered a mix of rice, chicken, and noodles, and slowly delivered it to her mouth. “Just one more bite, for the babies,” he smiled coyly. She begrudgingly took the bite and began chewing, brushing her blue hair out of her sweaty face. 

She was the fullest she’d ever felt, her belly feeling overstretched from a combination of growing babies and filled stomach. The pressure radiated from her midriff to make her whole body uncomfortable. She was miserable, and Morgan knew it. He tried not to show his enjoyment, but the truth was this was going better than he could have hoped for. 6 babies would leave her massive, and his mission to stuff her with every calorie under the sun was going smoothly. At this rate, they’d need a bigger bed to both fit on, an expense he was more than willing to make happen.

33 weeks

Lilith’s flip-flops pattered against her feet as she waddled toward the mall food court, moving as quickly as she could, which admittedly wasn’t very quick at all in her state. Wearing shorts that were stretched to capacity, held up with Morgan’s rubber band trick, and a “PINK” tank top that functioned more as a bra than anything else, she blushed red as she made her way. Everyone, from the young to the elderly, stared at her, or more specifically, her massive, mountainous middle. She was rivalling octomom in size, and the bigger she got, the more Morgan found excuses to take her out. He held her hand and tugged her along, leading the charge to the burger joint. 

“Babe everyone is staring! I want to go home!” she hissed at him. He turned to give her a side-eyed look and hiss back “You’ll be fine. Now come on, the babies are hungry!” the pair rounded a corner and Lilith came face-to-face with her highschool BFF. Gwen. “Lilith?” she asked, recognizing the hair color. “Y-yeah…” stammered Lilith. Morgan beamed. “Oh my god! Girl you didn’t tell me you were preggers!?” Gwen smiled and circled around to give Lilith a genuine hug. The two girls looked to Morgan, Gwen with excitement, and Lilith with embarrassment. “And Morgan, you’re looking suave as usual,” Gwen smiled. Morgan smirked. “Why thank you,” Gwen turned her attention to Lilith’s pendulous belly, “Gosh I wondered why I haven’t heard from you in months!? When’s the baby shower? I wanna spoil this little…” she trailed off… “These little… guys?” she asked. “We don’t know the sexes yet-” Lilith was cut off “In about a month and a half, we’re going to have lots of fun little games centered about this tank right here,” Morgan gave Lilith’s belly a hearty pat, “So tell all your girlfriends they’re invited, cause it’s going to be big!” he grinned. Lilith shot him a radioactive death glare, but he ignored it, his plans already in motion. “Okay! I gotta run cause I can’t be late for an interview but I’ll catch up later! Bye hon!” she said, running off. 

“Bye… Gwen…” Lilith shot another look at Morgan. “What the hell was that?! We’re NOT having a babyshower!” “Says you,” Morgan smirked. He proceeded to pile it on, “But your friend was so excited! Are you really going to dash her hopes like that? She just wants to spend time with you,” Lilith pouted, “I… guess so…” her response was cut off by a deep rumbling from her tummy. Morgan shot her a mischievous grin and took her hand again, continuing their trek.

Seeing as she was too big to fit in the booths, Morgan sat Lilith down at one of the chairs, and went off to order. She could feel all eyes on her as she placed a hand on her tummy to try to calm the movement she felt deep inside. What was in reality only a few minutes felt like hours as she waited for Morgan to return with the food. She was happy when she heard him approach, but was upset at what she saw him carrying. “That’s six burgers!?” she whisper-yelled incredulously. “Yeah, one for each baby!” stated Morgan, matter-of-factly. “I’m not about to pig out in front of all of these people!?” 

Morgan’s smile dropped when she said that. “Are you really going to let the stares of a few strangers deny food for your babies? OUR kids?” Lilith sighed. “Well… no, but can we take this home?” her tummy rumbled again in protest. “I don’t think they can wait,” Morgan whispered. “F-fine… but when I’m full I’m stopping,” she sighed. Morgan placed both hands on the firm, warm front of her belly, feeling her popped bellybutton under his right palm. “You’ll stop when THEY’RE full, alright?” Lilith looked down at herself. Her massive, bloated, overly pregnant self, and sighed. “Yes dear,”

She picked up the first juicy, tender steakburger he’d gotten her, and took a huge bite. The food itself actually tasted great, the mustard, tomato, and pickles. She had been craving pickles today, she just didn’t want to admit it. One by one, each burger disappeared into her huge pregnant gut, eliciting happy kicks from its occupants. Morgan smiled as he watched her. These burgers would have given her trouble a month ago, but now? Her stomach was stretched, her babies were hungry, and she had the capacity to be a professional speed-eater, all thanks to him.

Lilith was enamored by the tastiness of the burgers, she was downing one after another, about 40 seconds a piece. She was starting to get embarrassed though. The way Morgan was grinning at her… the way the other mall goers were just… staring. She was a big, fat, pregnant spectacle… and she hated it. She felt a *pop* from the front of her shots and her heavy belly lurched forward slightly, and she knew what had happened. “Uh oh, babe,” Morgan said loudly. “Looks like that rubber band wasn’t strong enough against your belly. I guess you were right,” he shrugged. Lilith’s cheeks burned with bright red embarrassment, but she kept eating, pretending not to hear him.

She jumped slightly as she felt his hand touch her bare tummy, rubbing it gently. “Now isn’t this better? Eating to your stomach’s content?” she swatted at him and pointed to the nearby slushy stand. “Cherry,” she grunted through a mouthful of food. “Whatever you say,” he slipped away. In reality, she just wanted some space from him. Ever since she found out she was pregnant, he’d been so clingy, spending every spare moment with her, making her eat and drink. “For the babies” had become as commonplace as breathing, she felt like, and he wouldn’t take no for an answer. If she didn’t know better, she’d think he was doing this all on purpose.

Her thoughts were interrupted by his quick return. “They were out of cherry, so I got you tiger’s blood,” he said, handing her the 44 oz drink. She swiped it form him with one hand, and polished off the sixth and final burger with the other. She felt heavy. Well… heavier, as the six greasy sandwiches settled in her gut. 7 more weeks… then she’d be due, and this would all be over.

39 weeks

Morgan had made good of his promise. He threw a baby shower, and Lilith was the center of attention, despite her wishes. Gwen, along with four other friends of theirs, had come to the party, and despite the relatively small gathering, Lilith felt absolutely smothered. She sat in her usual spot, in the center of the couch, and she was surrounded by her physically close, if not emotionally close friends. Her tummy had absolutely ballooned, and she was so big she couldn’t reach her popped navel anymore. While she’d stayed relatively free of stretchmarks, red and purple veins made themselves known on her shiny, overstretched skin. Her underbelly hung between her legs, which were forced to spread to make room for her massive mound of a womb.

No matter what she did, how much she complained, or what she threatened, Morgan would not buy her maternity clothes. Her belly hung proudly on display for all to see, weather she liked it or not. This had become so much more apparent during the shower. While Morgan brought food and drinks for all, Lilith sat planted on the couch, cooed at and touched like a walking petting zoo. She felt like she couldn’t go 10 seconds without a hand brushing against her belly, and the visible motion from the sextuplets inside did not help. “You’re positively glowing!” They all said. “You exude motherhood!” “I hope I look as good as you when I’m pregnant!” she hated all of it.

She snapped out of her surly stupor when she heard Gwen address her by name. “Lilith, I haven’t seen you covered up once this whole pregnancy! What made you decide to go belly-out the whole time?” Lilith forced a grin, “Well, Morgan had a LOT to do with it,” she replied, mentally grinding her teeth. “You’re just so brave, like it’s such a powerful look! You’re like ‘look out world, pregnant mama coming through’!” Gwen laughed, resting a hand on the side of Lilith’s gargantuan midriff. Morgan stepped into the room with some sort of plastic box. “You girls ready for another game?” he asked. Lilith turned red, the last game had been all about guessing the measurement of her waistline. All the guests had estimated her bigger than she was, and Morgan made a big show of measuring her, having a hard time getting the tape measure all the way around. 72 inches. She was 72 inches around. She was bigger around than she was tall. She almost cried at the realization.

Morgan opened the box to reveal a rainbow of different body paints and brushes, “You all get to belly paint!” Every girl there except for Lilith beamed with excitement. The various paints and brushes were snatched up lightening fast, and before she realized fully what was happening, Lilith was surrounded by five women all kneeling around her and applying paint to her overstretched, pregnant skin. Lilith couldn’t see what was being painted on her due to her sheer size, but she could only imagine how awful and embarrassing it would all look. Morgan already had his camera out, taking pictures.

Shivers went down her spine as Lilith felt the bristles and thick paint run over her sensitive bellybutton, Gwen giggling as she ran the brush up and down. Lilith felt so embarrassed, so large was her middle that she could be used as five canvases at once! Her face turned redder and she frowned as Morgan snapped shot after shot of her massive, bare tummy.

As time passed Lilith grew increasingly agitated. The sensation of paint brushes on her belly was absolutely grating, and the feeling of dry paint caking on the skin wasn’t helping either. She realized she was getting hungry, which was only souring her mood more. She felt her stomach gurgle and saw Morgan’s eyes light up. He as attuned to the sound of her rumbling tummy like a shark to blood, Lilith could tell he had something planned for this event in particular. Her belly rumbled again, this time louder, and the girls started to notice. “Damn girl, we gotta get you fed!” said Gwen, patting the belly. “You must be dying over there!” Lilith shook her head, “No, no I’m fine, I just need-” “Some cake!” beamed Morgan as he carried in a triple layer devils food cake. Lilith gulped.

“Gosh Morgan you treat her so well!” said one of the girls. “Anything for my girl!” he replied, setting the cake on the shelf of her belly. Lilith’s pleading eyes met Morgan’s powerful gaze, and she knew he was about to make her pig out. Right here. In front of all of her friends. He took a seat next to her on the couch, grabbed a fork, and scraped off a big mouthful. “Say Ahh,” he whispered. The girls went back to talking amongst themselves and painting, and Lilith was feeling pinned down by the weight of her sextuplet belly, and triple layer cake. She winced, and took the bite. “There… for the babies,” Morgan said, getting another forkful.

Bite after bite went down and Lilith could feel the brushes on her tummy slow down until nobody was painting anymore. All eyes were on her. She chewed and swallowed bite after bite of the sickeningly sweet cake, the frosting getting on her face and the top of her belly. She felt a couple of hands start feeling up her belly again as she pushed past the halfway mark of the cake.

It was so heavy and rich, and Lilith could feel every bite of it go right to her midriff. The babies began to stir and kick, which only landed more hands on her tummy. Bite. Chew. Swallow. Bite. Chew. Swallow. It became almost rhythmic as she entered a food induced trance. She could faintly hear the girls saying things like “wow, she can really put it away,” and “Is she going to stop?” and “I think I feel her belly getting tighter!”, but she was lost to the caloric intake and sheer, painful embarrassment. 

She only came to when the cake stopped coming. When she had eaten it all. Gwen clapped for her. Morgan gave her a kiss on the cheek to congratulate her. Everyone else kept their hands on her belly. “She gets real strong cravings for chocolate sometimes,” Joked Morgan, the other girls giggling at her expense. Moran got his camera back out. “Smile!” he said, mockingly, as he snapped a photo. 

A perfect shot of Lilith, 39 weeks pregnant with six babies, her belly bare, resting between her legs. Her tummy was covered in little paint doodles of flowers, trees, landscapes, and stick figure families, except for the top shelf, which was stained brown from the smeared chocolate. Her mouth was open as she breathed heavily through it, feeling ready to burst. Morgan sat down next to her again, and showed her the picture on the camera’s display screen. “This is you babe!” he laughed. “This is what you really are!”

[naralanis]

hi Nara! i love your pen posts both here insta and i'm doing it, i'm getting myself a fountain pen! i was having fun in the goulet website for hours and i think i found one that i like, but could i have your opinion on it? i think it's pretty but i feel kind of nervous spending fifty dollars on a pen! it's this one: www . gouletpens. com/collections/conklin-duragraph-fountain-pens/products/conklin-duragraph-fountain-pen-demo-black-limited-edition?variant=32002532704299

Hi there! Glad you like the pendemonium (I will see myself out)!

Firstly I'd like to formally welcome you to the rabbit hole. I too have spent hours drooling at pens on the Goulet website -- those guys really know how to take nice product pictures, and that's their gain, my (our) wallet's loss!

But secondly, I have a very important question -- is this your very first fountain pen? I'm assuming it is, and while I cannot question your aesthetics (they are on point), I would like to make a few points/suggestions, especially since you asked for my opinion on your choice!

My gut reaction before I even clicked the link?

Pump the brakes!

Why? See under the cut, as it is time to get a little rambly!

First of all -- and I know this may come as a bit of surprise -- if this is your very first fountain pen, maybe consider adjusting your budget. I balked at my first $50-something pen -- also a Conklin Duragraph -- and that was after I had amassed a few other pens.

Why is this important? Well, as this is your first fountain pen and you've never used one before, you don't know what you like. Therefore, it is very possible that you'll shell out for a $50 pen and hate it, and the whole experience will feel like a waste.

(You could also buy it and love it! I don't mean to be a downer!)

As soon as I saw the brand, I knew we'd be looking at pens in the $50-and-well-above range, which leads me to the concerns I have about this particular brand (Conklin-- click here if you'd like to know a little more about the brand history).

I own a few Conklin pens (three Duragraphs, two All-Americans, and one Herringbone), and let me tell you something: not a single one wrote satisfactorily out of the box.

To me, that's not so much a problem as it is an inconvenience (and frankly, incredibly annoying given their price), because now I know how to tune my own nibs (like I did with the Duragraph Earth above), tinker with the feeds, swap nib units, realign tines, and deal with customer service (which for all pen stores I've ever dealt with, has been exceptional).

That's not to say that every single Conklin pen is like that! Admittedly, I've gotten a little more unlucky than most with my badly-cut nibs and defective feeds . Some people love their Conklins and never had a problem with any model -- you could be one of them.

The thing is, even if I never had any problems with my previous Conklins... I still think they're expensive for what they are! The demonstrator Duragraph that caught your eye -- that has an MSRP of $80.The reegular Duragraph models retail for $56 -- but they don't feel like they cost $56. The resin feels cheap, and the section threads on two of my three Duragraphs were a bit wonky --I ended up exchanging one because the section just didn't screw in correctly. The nibs came with tines that were way too tight (basically stopping ink flow), and don't get me started on their Omniflex nib...

Don't get me wrong, the Duragraph is beautiful and even I'm tempted to get them. But I know exactly what I'm paying for -- and at this point, I expect to have something to fix in the pen when I get it. But for your first fountain pen? Maybe try some of the pens I suggest on this post here.

If your heart is set on a demonstrator pen, may I suggest some cheaper suggestions:

1. The Pilot Kakuno

Sure, it doesn't quite have the same look as the Duragraph, but it's like, a third of the price (at Goulet, it goes for about $13.50!)! And granted, it doesn't come with a converter, but Pilot cartridges are not expensive, and even if you do decide to add a Pilot converter, it doesn't even come close to the price of the Demo Duragraph. Plus, the nibs on these little things are phenomenal!

2. Kaweco Perkeo

I call this one Kaweco's Kakuno because... well, look at it! It's pretty much the same package, retailing for about $15-18. It doesn't come with a converter, but it does take standard international cartridges -- the most widely available and varied type of cartridge!

3. Lamy Vista

A different, more modern look, easily swappable nibs, a wide variety of (proprietary) Lamy cartridges (you can buy a converter separately). It goes for $29.60 at Goulet, but you can find it much cheaper elsewhere (my father got his for about $20 at Amazon, I believe).

4. Sailor 1911 Compass

OK, so at a sale price of $30, we're getting a bit too close to that under $50 recommendation. However, I still think this one deserves some thought -- Sailor quality control is miles better than Yafa (the distributor for Conklin, Monteverde, and a couple of others). Sailor nibs (even the steel ones) are on a league of their own, and this pen comes with the proprietary Sailor converter so you can use bottled ink!

5. TWSBI ECO

At an MSRP of $33, this one is the most expensive 'starter pen' I suggest. It is an iconic demonstrator, and a very affordable piston filler pen -- so it has a great ink capacity, and to top it off, their nibs are quite smooth; I've never had a hard-starting one. The only reason to stay away from the ECO (and any other piston fillers) would be if you don't want to use bottled ink and want to stick to cartridges.

I hope that helps -- sorry if it was a bit of a downer, but don't let it get in the way of your excitement! Do let me know which pen you end up getting, even if you do decide to go for the Conklin.

Have fun, and write on!

[twohearts-hs]

‘A Small Phone Call ( VI {final} )’ - Harry Styles Divorce Series

Words: 2.3k

Pairing: Harry Styles & (Y/N) (Y/L/N)

Warnings: swearing, divorce & I make Harry seem like a asshole even though he isn’t :(

Summary: They’ve been together since fifteen; her going through every moment with him, and likewise. It has always been (Y/N) and Harry, since the beginning of time. But, they started noticing the red flags that the saying is true, all high school love doesn’t stick. Therefore it is time to sign the papers, but what will happen when she is afraid of a simple two pink lined stick? What will happen to them? What if she keeps it hidden from him?

|| Masterlist in bio ||

-

Y/N walked back into the flat, letting out a deep breath as she placed her handbag on the counter. 

“Did you fixed it?” she heard a voice behind her. She turned around and came face to face with Mylene.

Y/N waved her phone in her hand, “Just got off the phone with the lawyer. It is getting fixed right now,” she mumbled, walking around to grab a snack - cheese and crackers, not too bad for a pregnant woman.

“Good,” she heard, as Mylene walked off to her bedroom. 

Did she regret it? Of course, it was an action done in anger at the time and now she needed to handle this situation maturely. Y/N has decided, Harry and her were having a baby, however, they can’t have this child together as a couple. 

In the past, the two were two peas in a pod, yet now they were both poisonous for each other; what a shame that time ruined them. Does Y/N still believe that she and Harry were soulmates? That is the million-dollar question. 

However, that isn’t the question she should answer now. Life has just gone upside down and she is about to become a mother. When she first got pregnant with Tate, she was ready, the nursery was done and excitement flooded her veins. Now, it was the opposite, she was scared shitless. At 24, working a job that barely pays the bills and now a baby on the way, it was scary. Her option could be to ask for a ridiculous amount of money for child support from Harry or just struggle. She is choosing the latter. 

Y/N sat at the barstool in her kitchen, craving a large drink, however, she could never do that to her baby. Thoughts upon thoughts were replaying in her brain of what is gonna happen or what will happen; it was scary. 

A message appeared on her phone, lighting the darkroom, as she took a bite from her cracker. 

From Harry:

I am glad we are ok. H 

She smiled, typing her response, but chose not to respond. They were ok. She was going to be ok. This baby is going to be ok. There was nothing to panic about.

-

He was hovering. She was done. Y/N had enough. 

The next while was ok, Harry joined appointments, texted name ideas and was supportive, but the minute she hit 8 months - 33 weeks to be exact - he was annoying, controlling and was just plain trapping her. 

Every little moment, he was on her heels. Don’t eat this, don’t carry that, you are putting the child in danger with that, how are you doing, can I help, etc. She was done. Y/N knew he was trying his best to be helpful and to give her a break, but it didn’t come across that way. She felt no freedom once again, just like the marriage they use to be in.

Harry was in her flat, at the kitchen to be exact. He was cooking, she was sitting on the couch with a headache and about to explode in anger. Hormones perhaps? Or was it the fact that Harry has been sleeping on the couch every night and driving her insane? Nevertheless, she was done. 

Y/N got up, walking to the kitchen and opening the fridge. She grabbed some food in a container and headed to the microwave. Harry turned around from cutting up vegetables.

“I am making you dinner. You shouldn’t eat Mylene’s trash food. It’s not -”

“Get the fuck out, please and thank you,” she mumbled, pinching her thumb and finger between the bridge of her nose. The pregnant woman knew it sounded harsh, but she was tired and angry because of him. 

Harry was taken aback from her attitude. Yes, he has gotten used to the hormonal mood swings, but she was never aggressive or snappy. He glared at her softy, eyebrows scrunching as he examined his ex-wife.

“Excuse me?” he asked, crossing his arms across his chest. She could smell it, a fight heading their way.

“Harry, please, you heard me. Can you please leave?” she mumbled, hearing the microwave beeping and getting her food. Picking up a fork and walking past him. His arm went out, hand grabbing the container and taking the food from her.

“You can’t eat that. It isn’t good for the baby. I am making you a healthy-”

“Harry,” she said sternly, looking him straight in the eyes, “give me the goddamn mac and cheese right now, or I swear to god,” he laughed, taking the container and emptying it in the trash can. 

She was done. 

“Get. The. Fuck. Out. Of. My. House,” she said, spitting every word with viciousness. “I don’t want you here,” snappiness flooding from her mouth.

Harry shook his head, leaning against the counter and raising an eyebrow. 

“You’re being ridiculous, Y/N,” he said, rolling his eyes. 

“No, no, no. You do not get the right to say that,” she walked up at him, pointing a finger at his chest. “The last few weeks, you have been absolutely horrible, controlling and just annoying. Yes, I am carrying our child, but we are not married. You can not boss me around and I have had enough. We got divorced for a reason and now you are all up in my face trying to play house. I don’t want you in my life anymore, however, I am being a kind human being and allowing you to have a part in my child’s life. So no, don’t you call me ridiculous. You should be thankful that I am being a humble person. With that, get the fuck out of my house and I will call you when my child is popping out of my vagina.” Y/N turned around, walking to the door and opening it. 

Harry stared at her, blinking and trying to take in every word. “No,” he mumbled, turning around and going back to cutting the vegetables. 

She was fuming and in shock. He said no, he uprightly said no and went back to what he was doing. What the fuck was he doing?

“Oh, we are gonna play that game,” she responded, stomping past him and heading to her bedroom. Harry watched her and thought nothing of it and went back to what he was doing. 

A little while later, she came back with a duffle bag and her handbag. 

“Make sure you lock the door behind you,” she said, glaring at him and walking straight for the door. 

“Where the fuck are you going?” he yelled, hitting the counter loudly and hot on her tracks grabbing the strap of her bag and pulling her to him. Y/N’s eight-month belly touching his chest. 

“Let go of me,” she sternly said. Harry let go.

“Where are you going?”

“Somewhere where you are not. I will call you when I am in labour, but please stop breathing down my neck. I understand you want to be helpful, but I feel trapped. I can’t work, because you said so. I am too much on my feet, which is bad for the baby as you said. I am at home, where you are here and I can’t do that. I can’t be living with my ex-husband. I want a life-”

“You’re being selfish.”

Wet, hot tears were flowing down her face. She backed up against the wall, sliding down. “Just leave.”

And he left reluctantly.

-

Y/N wanted this baby. She was getting excited. The nursery was built, her baby bag was ready to go and a perfect name was picked. She was ready.

36 weeks hit, no word from Harry since that night. This was a power play, he was trying to make her feel guilty and this was another reason why the marriage had failed. 

So, being the higher person she texted him.

To Harry:

Hi. Why haven’t I heard from you? Where have you been?

Two seconds later, he responded. 

From Harry:

Are you in labour?

To Harry:

No.

From Harry:

Then that doesn’t concern you.

He was being absolutely ridiculous. Childish even. This is not the way he should be acting. But, she did say that he needed to leave her alone and that she would contact him when she was in labour. She didn’t think he would literally do it. He was being childish. 

To Harry:

You are being childish. Text me when you are ready to grow up.

He didn’t respond and she saw on social media that he was in L.A. partying with supermodels. Very mature of you, Styles.

-

A few days later, the pain hit. No note back from Harry and she was in labour. He could still be in L.A., partying his twenties away, however she didn’t care. She was in labour and was about to become a mother; a single mother, yet she didn’t care. Y/N mentally prepared for this part, knowing she was going to be by herself. Her mother was in another country and Mylene had to move back to Canada. It was going to be ok. 

Y/N pressed the name that she didn’t want to talk to, however she needed to be the higher person. 

Voicemail. She was hit with a voicemail. Wow.

Hi, its Harry. Couldn’t get to the phone, leave a voicemail and I will get back to you as soon as I can. 

The line cut off.

She took a deep breath.

“Hi Harry, its Y/N. Call me back when you can. I am heading to the hospital, as I am in labour.”

Nothing. Nothing came back. She came to the realisation that he was going to miss the birth of his child, just like how he missed Y/N losing Tate.

She was on the hospital bed, taking deep breaths as pain raked her body. Fuck, this was horrible. Words can not explain the pain she was in right now. Yet, she needed to be strong. 

The heavy huffs and loud groans were interrupted by her phone going off. Harry Styles - Y/N groaned again and not from the labour. 

“Where the fuck are you?” she spat over the line.

“L.A.” She couldn’t believe it, she actually couldn’t believe it. This man was in America still, while she was growing this child inside her.

“Good on you. Are you flying back anytime soon, as I am in labour,” she spat again. He cleared his voice, hearing her heavy breaths and wheezes over the line.

“Umm, yeah, I will be there. my flight is leaving in three hours. I will be there in like, ten hours so please just don’t give birth yet,” he told her.

Y/N was gobsmacked. He really thought that she could put her whole birth on pause, just for him. 

“I am crowning. I am pushing this child out whether or not you are here. I am not putting this on pause. Get your ass here,” she said firmly and pressing the end button.

-

Did she want him there holding her hand as she pushed a child out of her? A little piece of her did, but the majority of her was done with him. She had the forms next to her, filling out what custody was like and she was ready to move on. Was she selfish? She has no idea. However, the wellbeing of this child comes first.

Her legs were in the air, she pulled herself close to the bar as the doctor asked her to push. One push in and the door flew open. He was there.

“Fuck, you look rough,” he mumbled, looking at the scene in front of him. God, she prayed the child didn’t get his idiotism. He can’t be fucking serious.

“Hold my goddamn hand and tell me it is going to be ok because I am in a lot of pain,” she said, taking her one hand out and grabbing his. Harry pushed a chair beside her and held her. His bones were definitely getting broken due to her crushing them. 

Arlo Rowan Styles was born. After fourteen hours in labour, he came and both parents were filled with joy.

She witnessed him cry, as he held him for the first time. He loved him so much, maybe more than how much Y/N loved him as well. Both parents forgot all the tension and worry when his cries filled the room and his body was laid on her chest.

He was absolutely beautiful with her eyes and his nose. Arlo’s little finger wrapped around his and he cried. He was perfect.

Harry may be an asshole to her, but the first few minutes of watching him interact with their child changed her perspective. They weren’t good together, but they needed to set their differences aside in order to be a parent to him.

“I may have overreacted,” she mumbled, as she watched him sleep. To Harry, she was still beautiful, dressed in her hospital gown, hair frizzy and in a mess and sweat dried on her face. “We need to set our issues aside. I am mad at you still for a lot of things. However, we need to be mature because of our baby. You can stay with us for a while until I kick you out or can come and go as you please. We aren’t getting back together, H. I am sorry, we aren’t good together. I have the custody agreement set up. He will need me for a while, but when he doesn’t as much, we can put something in place. Just don’t hover, be kind, don’t control me and please be the best goddamn dad. Ok?” he nodded, thumbing the baby’s cheek. 

“I know that I have haven’t really been too good to you, but still love you, you know that right?”

“I know.”

-

Taglist - comment, DM or inbox to be removed/added :)

@alinashawn @mendesnecessary @i-am-bisexual-and-a-girl @un-limit-edd @ashwarren32 @harrysahottie @afterpartyviews @claredolphinbear24 @purple-cream-cheese @particularlymendes @lilya-petrichor @laggyphone @winchesterwife27 @neverlandqueen15 @kissme-hs @mutuallynotmutual  @am-an-i @starryjiani @bandsandanimefreak @all-my-love-for-harry @jadert15

[dere-boys]

Pre-Written Dialogue Prompts

Here at dere-boys we love getting unique and interesting dialogue prompts to write for you. We know, however, sometimes you want something written but you just don’t have any ideas! Fear not! We’ve compiled a list of dialogue prompts that you can request to help you!

Really looking for Yandere Yoongi content?

Don’t worry, just inbox us with the number corresponding to the dialogue you want used, the idol, whether your Y/N is male or female, and if you’d like your piece to be NSFW or SFW.

It should look something like this => #31, yoongi, sfw, F

Once a line of dialogue has been used it’ll be crossed out.

For the list of dere-types and the idols we write for please check out this => Dere-Boy Line-Up

And if you’d like to look at the rules or the account overview and get to know the admins a bit please check us out on our welcome post => Account Overview & Admin Introductions

1. “I have a lot going for me, but humility is not one of them.”

2. “Is that seriously your password?

3. “I’m surprised you haven’t been arrested yet. Wait, no, I’m not.”

4. “So, you broke my favorite mug… and you’re breaking up with me?"

5. “Oh, good, you’re here! Hold this."

6. “Dude. We talked about this. Boundaries!"

7. “Now, don’t be mad, but…"

8. “Well, thanks to you, that’s another Taco Bell that’s banned us for life."

9. “So you know, I haven’t had my coffee yet. And your voice is putting me to sleep."

10. “Please tell me you didn’t eat that."

11. “What on earth happened in here?”

12. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

13. “No. Hell, no. Absolutely not.”

14. “Do you maybe think, in retrospect, that this was a terrible idea?”

15. “So hang on, let me get this straight.”

16. “I need nothing but my mad skills, rugged good looks, and maybe half a million dollars.”

17. “I made breakfast, but I didn’t know what you liked so I made enough to probably feed a small tribe.”

18. "So you've been living in denial all these years?"

19. “So that could have gone better…”

20. “Look, I’m not saying I’ll help if you buy me a donut, but I’m not, not saying I won’t help.”

21. “You don’t know what this means to me. You’re my first human subject, and we… are going to make history!”

22. “The worst part is you didn’t even notice.”

23. “I was doing so well until you showed up. Things were good…”

24. “At first, I thought it was part of the act.”

25. “Honey, please tell me. Did he hit you?”

26. “I don’t like that look. Wipe it off your face before I decide to.”

27. “How could you do this to me?”

28. “I know you don’t have any reason to trust me, but… you need to know something.”

29. “You’re allowed to need help sometimes. And I know I haven’t been what you needed. But I’m here, and I wanna help.”

30. “You’re the worst. And you’re all I’ve got.”

31. “If I wanted to get better, I wouldn’t be dating you.”

32. “You think I don’t know you’re only here because he sent you?”

33. “No, I don’t hate you. We’re not there, yet.”

34. “It’s not that I don’t like my life. It’s that I don’t have the energy to enjoy it.”

35. “If you’re here to tell me what happened last night, someone beat you to it.”

36. “Do you know what today is?”

37. “You are remarkably well-behaved tonight. What have you been up to?”

38. “How – how did you find me?”

39. “There’s blood everywhere.”

40. “I don’t even hate you. That would imply I cared.”

41. “There’s no point running.”

42. “Stop yelling!”

43. “Believe me, my dear, no one regrets this more than I do.”

44. “I’m going to give you five seconds to take that back.”

45. “Apologise. Right now.”

46. “Good. I meant it to hurt.”

47. "Do you think keeping your eyes shut will keep you safe?"

48. "If you can't wake up from the nightmare, maybe you're not asleep."

49. “Smartass. I’d suggest biting your tongue before I rip it out.”

50. “Your mine. This- is mine, so don’t you dare think of someone else.”

51. “Is this how you flirt with everyone?”

52. “Waiiiiit, did you… do something different with your hair?”

53. “I’m not good with sarcasm. If you don’t like me, just say it.”

54. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you don’t exactly blend in.”

55. “Now, before I say anything, promise me you’ll stay calm.”

56. “I don’t need a gentleman right now.”

57. “You’ve caught me at a really bad time.”

58. “What have you done now?”

59. “Well, this is new.”

60. “How are you feeling today? A little better, hmm?”

61. “Oh man, I’ve had the worst day ever.”

62. “This isn’t what it looks like, I swear! Okay … it’s kind of what it looks like, but just give me a chance to explain."

63. “That’s the first time I’ve heard anyone call it that.”

64. “Oh my gosh, are you sure? Like, sure sure?”

65. “I’ve never actually liked chocolate.”

66. “That’s a very … bold … thing to say.”

67. “And you can’t think of any other reason?”

68 .“Hey. Look at me.”

69. “I’m sorry. That sounds awful.”

70. “That’s not very nice.”

71. “Just sit around and cry, then. I don’t have that luxury.”

72. "How much of that did you hear?”

73. For what it’s worth, I don’t know much about you either.”

74. “Why do you have to look at me like that? It’s making me weak, please stop."

75. “I’m so lucky.”

76. “I’m asking because I’ve seen the way you look at me.”

77. “Stop doing that with your face, someone else is going to snatch you up.”

78. “I shouldn’t be allowed to be this happy.”

79. “Don’t pretend that you don’t feel the same way.”

80. “Don’t act innocent, you had me pinned underneath you 5 minutes ago.”

- Hope to see you here! - ❄️ & 🌻

Inbox Request Navigation and Welcome

[derpderp462140-blog]

In this photo every single person has swivelled themselves to look at the camera, except Wanrong, who is looking down seemingly dejected. The man to her second-left is even looking at her, perhaps noticing this.   

It is maybe the only photo that shows Wanrong’s sadness.  

Previously, before being booted out of the Forbidden City her life was much more glamorous. 

"I hear you're a more enlightened woman, I hope you do not treat me like everybody else. Maybe you've started feeling the distress. I am very lonely, no friends. Treat me like a friend. Can you promise me?" – Wanrong repeated, "Yes, I promise." trying to restrain her voice from shaking. "This is good," Puyi feels happy and bids goodbye to Wanrong, "Go rest and have a good evening.’‘ 

Wanrong had her own kitchen in the Palace of Gathered Elegance in the Forbidden City. She could order people to buy sauces, meat or any food at will.[25] One of her favourite meals was said to be dog meat.[22] As Puyi rarely visited her she often ate alone with a dozen dishes sprawled out on the table. Sun Yaoting, a eunuch recalled a conversation he had with Wanrong on such an occasion:

''Have you eaten, Chunshou? (name for Sun) Come let's eat together.''

''Your slave thanks the Empress.''

''Save your thanks.'' Wanrong seemed uninterested in etiquette.

''Your slave has just eaten.''

Styles of

Xuantong Empress

Reference style

Her Imperial Majesty

Spoken styleYour Imperial Majesty

Alternative styleEmpress Consort (Titular)

''What did you have?''

''Pies.''

''How many did you eat?''

''Seven.'' Sun Yaoting gestured. ''They were about this big, the size of a palm.''

''Go to the kitchen and tell them I'll have meat pies tomorrow.''

The following day the Imperial kitchen made meat pies with Wanrong offering some to Sun.

''Come and have some.''

''Come on have some more,'' she urged.

'''I'm full already.''

''Didn't you say you could eat seven?''

Sun hesitated. ''Your slave cannot eat so many because those pies have thin wrappings and plenty of meat.''

Wanrong giggled.

Sun felt uneasy, Wanrong was normally amiable and kind but sometimes burst into fits of temper which other eunuchs had warned him about. Wanrong had previously expelled a eunuch who was hard of hearing who had angered her.[26] He had to remain standing which made the situation further uncomfortable.[27]

Wanrong's brother said that the Empress rarely lost her temper and had respect for her servants and showed kindness to him, sending him chocolates while studying in Japan. He recalled: "Once, I went to see my sister to play, pointing to the eunuch next to us bowing, teasing my sister I said, "You say hit him." My sister, uncharacteristically, glared at me then said: "Didn't I tell you? Do not say this word, it's forbidden!" My sister often taught me through these little things to treat my subordinates with courtesy and respect."[28] At this time if someone spoke of beating a eunuch someone would quickly appear ready to hit them.[5] In another incident he recalled: "I remember once when I was a child eating Western food in the palace, I noticed that the eunuchs served everyone's food on the left side, but put mine on the right side. I felt very uncomfortable, so I said to the eunuch: it should be served on the left! When the eunuch heard that, he immediately changed the position. At this point, my sister said: ''You just make do with it.'' She thought that I was too picky and that the eunuch should not be embarrassed by this small matter."[5]

Once when she was dining alone she let two eunuchs have some oxtail soup. Sun further asked for some bread. Wanrong handed over a bun. Sun cheekily asked where the jam was with Wanrong responding, ''You really know how to enjoy yourself, don't you?'' Wanrong laughed. After the meal it was Sun's job to prepare a fruit plate. One day Zhao Xingshen accused Sun of stealing some apples. Zhao Xingshen told Wanrong: ''Chunshou has stolen some apples!'' with Sun saying: ''A few apples were rotten and I picked them out.'' ''Do you call that stealing?'' Zhao Xingshen replied: ''Whatever you call it, some apples are missing!'' Wanrong burst out laughing and emptied the fruits on the floor telling them to ''come and eat them all!'' with Sun picking one up, wiping it with his sleeve and eating it. Several other eunuchs then came over to pick some up which the Empress found hysterical.[29] Once in the evening when Wanrong retired to the bedchamber where her head adornments were removed by a lady-in-waiting she went to the main hall and sent for all her servants. Sun was told to bring out the imported sweets and dispersed them on the floor. ''This is all for you!'' Wanrong said. She watched as the servants quickly picked them up. ''These foreign sweets are very expensive, at least six or seven silver dollars a jin,'' she remarked. The sweets were actually much less expensive as Wanrong had no idea how the Accounting Office falsified accounts and cheated the imperial family out of their money.[30] Wanrong's friendly behaviour to ''lowly'' servants may be in part explained by the fact they were often the only people to keep her company.[31]

Wanrong and

Wenxiu

in the Forbidden City

Wanrong had a special tailor who would make new dresses almost every day.[32]Sun said that when having a bath she let her elderly maids do everything, including scrubbing her. Afterwards she would often sit on the side of the basin and admire her body.[33][34][35] Rong Qi remembered how Puyi and Wanrong, both teenagers, loved to race their bicycles through the Forbidden City, forcing eunuchs to move out of the way, and told Behr in an interview: "There was a lot of laughter, she and Puyi seemed to get on well, they were like kids together."[36] At the age of eighteen or nineteen (Chinese age) Wanrong still behaved like a child and enjoyed playing games with her maids and eunuchs. She once played ''drop the handkerchief'' in the courtyard into nine o'clock in the evening. The Empress was reluctant to see visitors go, making them play games until everyone was thoroughly tired. Sometimes a eunuch would be summoned and be on duty for no other reason than to keep her company or play with her.[37] Wanrong, in her loneliness, longed for someone to amuse her.[38] One day Reginald Johnston visited unexpectedly. He was wearing a Chinese long gown and bowed low with clasped hands instead of kowtowing which the eunuchs found strange. The Empress found his Chinese pronunciation amusing. Wanrong got dressed up in a couple of cheongsams including her favourite dark green cheongsam and flower-pot shoes. Johnston took numerous photos of her in several locations. When they were developed she looked at them with her maids and eunuchs, laughing happily.[39]

[myfriendthedictionary]

No no please share the oddly specific show choir drama. I have only just now learned of this oddly specific show choir drama and I am already invested

(Please note that you also thought the milkshake story would be annoying and pretty much everyone found that entertaining so)

(Basically this is a formal request to be more confident in your ability to be interesting. You are an entertaining person I promise you)

(CRIES this is once again so nice ahskdhsks thank you !! and also i got a milkshake because of this agakdhsk so thank you for that also <33)

Okay. Okay. This is gonna be long. I wanna stress that like the show choir experience isn’t like. Universal per say? So a lot of people might have a better experience . A lot of people probably have a much worse one. Also east coast show choir is a lot different than west coast show choir for some weird reason (but if you like compare sets you’ll totally see . It’s so wild) so I have no idea like how competition on the east coast side of things. Anyway.

So like. In general show choir is the most ridiculous overpriced shit of all time to start with. I did show choir for 7 years in (and I want to stress this) a beginning level public school where we had to take it as a CLASS. And we routinely had to fundraise for at least 500 dollars per year each person for costuming, choreographer costs, ect. And that doesn’t even cover competition and touring expenses. I was lucky that I had a scholarship and my dad and I worked to build sets and make costumes so we generally got discounted thankfully. But this is like. LOW on the spectrum. The top show choirs in the schools in LA generally charge like 2-3 thousand dollars a YEAR per child to be in it. So it’s like. INSANE.

Anyway. Show choir drama is the funniest shit of all time because these are literally like. Middle school and high schools, right? And it’s 20-35 minutes (depending on your level) and generally like. A self-contained mini musical. Think like a mixture of the dances they do on dance moms but with a jukebox musical. And these schools spend THOUSANDS. OF DOLLARS. The average show choir set at one of the top three choirs in the west coast has a budget of 75 THOUSAND DOLLARS. THIS IS FOR A HIGH SCHOOL,,, PER YEAR.

And what they do with this money is genuinely so fucking ridiculous. I literally cannot make some of this stuff up.

In general like. Show choirs on the west coast and in the Midwest have gotten to the point where they’re like. Okay. I am going to make this story as Emotional as possible and then they will not be able to put me in anything but first place. But it’s also super looked down upon if you do a set theme that’s like “already been done” by another school at any given point. So they are really truly running out of options. To give you an idea, here’s a list of show choir themes / stories I personally did in my time:

- the count of monte cristo: the musical

- rain (yes. I swear to god. The whole ass theme was just rain. No it didn’t make more sense)

- something to do w the salem witch trials i to this day do not get

- some vague parody of alice in wonderland except it was set in like the 1950s (this was not explained)

So. If you can see that our very small, very bad, very limited budget show choir was already stumped. Imagine the big choirs that have to make sure they can’t reuse any of their rivals sets. But here’s where the actual drama happens. Here’s some of the themes they thought. They could get away with. Literally astound me. Please keep in mind. These all dead ass happened. I have seen clips from them if I didn’t see them in person.

- a show choir set about 9/11 (and if you’re thinking “oh like come from away?” No. Not like come from away. Like showing actual footage of the twin towers 9/11 while singing and dancing. Not good. Not good at all)

- a show choir set about the biblical story about the prodigal son which fucking. Dove Cameron was in when she was in high school. and for some reason they’re all wearing bobbed colorful wigs

- a show choir set about the Holocaust. yeah. yeah. It was exactly as awful and hurtful as you would expect. It’s been almost entirely wiped off the internet and I believe the show choir that did it was disciplined but you can definitely still find it if you know what to look for and the word of mouth about that one is like at every competition.

- and my personal favorite. The set that one high school did back in 2014 I think purely to make fun of their rival high school for spending too much money on show choir. I want to stress that this set cost like 90k. genuinely they missed their own point

Okay I’ve gone on for Far too long but thank you for letting me ramble ahskdshsk if anyone somehow read to the bottom of this post I owe you a virtual milkshake haha