#so like. using that tag for advice
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wooaaaa just bound my chest for the first time and i feel fantastic but i have no idea what gender i am
#for like. context#i identify as a woman but at the same time#i’ve never felt like one b4 but i’m definitely not a boy. if that#makes any sense#CAN MY TAGS STOP SEPERATINF Holy fuck#i also don’t think i’m nb. i resonate with being a woman even though i don’t always feel like one.#my gf said i could be a demi girl?#demi girl#so like. using that tag for advice#genderqueer
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A fanart for chapter 2 of "The King of Beltane" by @crkfaeau !!
It's fantastic fic! Both fics of this author are fantastic!
I can express how much I love them!!
Recommend 100000%!!
P.s. tags won't let me add more tags for some reason, so just so you know - It's a rare instance of me not taking a whole year to post stuff… don't hold out hope on this for the future, I appear once in a blue moon
#art#fanart#digital art#comic#crk comic#crk fanart#crk#cr kingdom#shadow milk crk#shadow milk cookie#pure vanilla cookie#pure vanilla crk#honestly.. the result of the art is not exactly what I was going for#but I still wanted to post it so here it is#it seems that I can't just do fanart of not comic type/j#hope it looks ok and kinda understandable readable (like where what is)? (can post version with no shading busy-ing if needed and asked?)#I hope you -some wanderer of the web reading the notes- likes the hands#Shadow Milk here had the ✨ manicure ✨#just look at those hands!! I used some references for the vibe of the evil beautiful hands!/j#this is looking at giant husband/horror edition#I did try to make it 'scary'... but not sure if it was success.. probably still need to work out how to do 'scary' and such things in art#actually did kinda small designs of my own for both shmilk and pv..thought it's not seen here very well!and tried to do per fics descriptio#but some stuff not sure how to do and tried to keep it kinda recognisable with canon#so smilk just ended up being smilk with barely seen lines (woodlike) and green in the dark abyss that is his hair...what can you really do?#btw it's great fic! read it! I implore you!! you must!! it's wonderful!!!#pureshadow#it's the ship name tag right? probably can be used considering fic is very much pureshadow#even if the fanart is not outright so? will be happy for advice here! if it's not right will take it!#ok! enough rambling! hope you enjoyed this little fanart! and read the beautiful beautiful fic!!!
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i was a reasonably big beatles fan for a while before i actually started learning more about the break up and solo years so i saw that idea of pr genius paul and unfiltered truth teller john repeated constantly. and i remember being just FLOORED when i learned paul spent the immediate pre breakup period secluded on a farm literally throwing buckets of water to chase off reporters and his big solo album aunt involved a bizarre q&a specifically because he refused to talk to individual press. while john and yoko literally gave like multiple interviews a day for much of 69-70. honestly, they were so good at it the idea is pervasive today even with people who are otherwise really savvy and knowledgeable about the beatles that i would expect to know better. even a lot of people who admit john and yoko were canny with the press still repeat the pr man paul trope.
I knowwwww. Thank you anon - I love the point about Paul and his buckets of water.
The disconnect is extraordinary. And in part it's a sign of how effective John and Yoko were - but you'd think, by now, people would have noticed how limited Paul's PR skills were.
TheyMayBeParted's rundown of the days leading up to the Get Back sessions have a fascinating contrast between Paul and John's PR approaches. On holiday in Portugal, Paul calls an impromptu press conference on the beach - the deal being, he'd speak to all of them at once and get it over with, giving them quotes and photographs in exchange for being left alone. Meanwhile, John and Yoko manage to give tailored interviews to three separate news teams during John's appointment at the dentist.
And that's really the difference: John and Yoko have a coherent message and are working proactively and very hard to get it out. Paul is basically doing damage limitation. He's doing his job, while trying to protect his privacy.
In the decades since, he's obviously got better PR teams, but he's still not a natural at it. For instance: Carpool Karaoke was a really smart PR move for him. It's been viewed 68 million times, with a very positive impact on his reputation. But he didn't recognise what an opportunity it was, and tried to pull out multiple times.
Interestingly, there's a suggestion that he was particularly nervous about going back into Forthlin Road: I suspect because he knew memories might make him emotionally vulnerable. John was never an "unfiltered truth teller", but he was phenomenally skilled at using his genuine emotions to turbocharge his narratives. Even now, Paul is freaked out by the idea of revealing himself like that.
#ask#tag for mine or my addition#john and yoko's pr genius#the idea of paul masterminding the beatles narrative is so funny#he's so shit at it#he can afford very good advice#but even that depends on whether he actually takes it#i mean sure he's pushed back against existing narratives#but successfully shaping a story? planning an effective long-term campaign? c'mon#also#remembering mike mccartney being hit by emotion in the programme about the restoration of forthlin road#it's enormously touching but obviously hard for him#i think john recognised that moments like that made people like him#and that he could make use of that#while paul pulls all his walls up and hides under the bed#i don't mean 'making use of it' as a criticism btw - it's a skilled and conscious choice and i respect that
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I haven't seen any posts about this yet but l've seen some fan art that makes me feel this needs to be said:
Don't forget Leah Sava Jeffries has darker skin when making Annabeth Chase fan art!

She is much closer to Lupita Nyong'o than Zoe Kravitz when it comes to shading, reflection, and complementary color usage :).
Lighting for dark skin is different on light skin. Light skin gets changed by lighting, and dark skin reflects the lighting. Below is a lovely shot of Nyong'o's character from Wakanda Forever in mourning. The filmmakers emphasize the umber qualities of her skin in contrast to the funereal white and (arguably harsh) light across her shoulder below.

Try to pick spots that aren't directly in or near the light, and try mixing 3 or more! You can put it into a color mixer online, or even color pick, lower the opacity, and lay the shades over each other until you find one that fits. And of course, the more 'realistic' you want to go with shading and lighting, the more shades you're going to want to be able to explore vivaciously :D.
Let's take a look at the same 3 beautiful actresses I mentioned at the beginning, with a bad color picked area and a better-ish color picked area. (Please keep in mind, these are not perfect comparisons, as I was not able to find pictures of all 3 actresses under the same kind of lighting.)



Kravitz's has a clear difference between the two, but they aren't too far apart, in comparison to Nyong’o’s and Jeffries’s. Note the dullness in the poorly picked shades as opposed to the better ones. Also keep in mind that while Kravitz has a rosy undertone (at least in that picture - it’s from The Batman, which has stylized coloring) Nyong’o has a slight cool undertone (I can’t pin down quite what, but the picture is definitely not stylized like Kravitz’s).
Jeffries runs more ochre or russet, but neither of those are pink. They are more red than terracotta or umber, but to call Jeffries’s face rosy would be wrong. Err more towards the golden when drawing her.
^^saved an image from a writing tutorial long ago, but can’t seem to find it. If someone recognizes it, I’ll link it. EDIT: it’s from this post. Thanks @autumnrowancollector ! <3
And also, the darker skin gets, the less likely warm undertones are going to appear. Don't be afraid to use blue or purple or even green on occasion!
Additionally, cool lighting on dark skin is always a win imo.

(I was going to use that picture of Jeffries as Annabeth by the lightning bolt, but then I realized the lighting on her face doesn’t quite match up with where it should hit from that angle, and I realized they kind of just turned everything bluer, so screenshot time!)
(Also if you want another really great live action example, check out anything Aldis Hodge is in, like Leverage and Black Adam)(and of course there’s Spiderverse <3 but I want to post pictures of Hodge)
Now, to here’s a list of more experienced people’s advice:
Black facial features & hair
Shading digitally for a (somewhat) monotone Black character
Stylistic choices and places to start looking for inspiration (besides a search engine).
Coloring Black people’s lips
A better coloration tutorial
Also a nice tutorial for Indigenous skin tones, just in case yall want to draw Piper or use this information for other dark skinned characters :).
EDIT: Some actresses who are closer in skintone to use for Annabeth, provided by the lovely @blackfemmecharacterdependency ! If you can’t find a reference for Jeffries in a specific lighting, maybe check out these ladies’ pictures! It’s a reblog, so scroll down.
TLDR: Don’t make Annabeth pink and pale, make her dark and golden.
#Annabeth chase#Percy Jackson#percabeth#leah sava jeffries#pjo#leah jeffries#art tutorial#percy jackon and the olympians#I love superheroes and so of course all of the actors I thought of were from superhero movies lmao#also for the record my advice is mostly from reading others’ tutorials and observation#and I don’t really use it a lot because I stick to lineart a lot lol#like down to mentioning Hodge (love himmmm) as a reference for good lighting on dark skin#there’s another post floating around here that specifically mentions him and Leverage for that#I’m tagging this as an art tutorial but really i want it to be more of a master post#master post so yall can see the tutorials I usually use#but then I ended up writing about Jeffries specifically because I’m dumb#I wanted to go to sleep four hours ago I’m dumb#I really want to draw her and ginger Percy but#irl it’s starting to get busy at school again :/
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Hey!! For your next fic could you do Leo and Mikey angst
It came be 2012, MM or rise
~ 𝚈𝚘𝚞’𝚛𝚎 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚢𝚘𝚞 ~
💙🐢🧡 𝙵𝚒𝚌 𝚛𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚢: @tmntalways 💙🐢🧡
·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚𝙷𝚒, 𝚃𝚞𝚛𝚝𝚕𝚎𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍!!! 𝙸 𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚘 𝚖𝚞𝚌𝚑 𝚋𝚛𝚘 ☹️💔…𝙸 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚋𝚊𝚍 𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚜𝚗’𝚝 𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚝𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚛𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚘𝚗 𝚃𝚞𝚖𝚋𝚕𝚛 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝙸 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 💖💕💘💞🩷!!! 𝙰𝚕𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑, 𝙸 𝚍𝚘 𝚊𝚍𝚖𝚒𝚝 𝙸’𝚖 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚒𝚝 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚠𝚘 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚛’𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚜𝚝 𝚒𝚗 𝚊 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢 😅👍🏾! 𝙸 𝚍𝚒𝚍 𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚊𝚒𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚜𝚝 𝚜𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚌𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚛’𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚜𝚝 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚍— 𝙸 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝’𝚜 𝚊𝚕𝚛𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 🫠…˚*• ̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙**·̩̩̥͙
𝙶𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚎: 𝙷𝚞𝚛𝚝/𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚝
𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚜: 𝟹,𝟸𝟾𝟾
𝙻𝚎𝚎: 𝙼𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚢 🐢🧡
𝙻𝚎𝚛: 𝙻𝚎𝚘 🐢💙
𝚂𝚞𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚢: 𝙼𝚒𝚔𝚎𝚢’𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚎𝚗 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐…𝚞𝚗𝚏𝚘𝚌𝚞𝚜𝚎𝚍…𝚞𝚗𝚘𝚛𝚐𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚣𝚎𝚍, 𝚞𝚗𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚟𝚎…𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚊 𝚠𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚎 𝚋𝚞𝚗𝚌𝚑 𝚘𝚏 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 '𝚞𝚗'. 𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚒𝚝 𝚊𝚕𝚕? 𝙷𝚎 𝚍𝚘𝚎𝚜𝚗’𝚝 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚜𝚎 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚐𝚘 𝚊𝚠𝚊𝚢…
𝚃𝚊𝚐𝚜: @shut-up-jo @someone1348 @saturnzskyzz
@savemeafruitjuice @rice-cake-teen10 @mistyandsnow
@skyloladoodles @itzsana-kiddingmenow @titters-and-tingles
(𝙰/𝙽: 𝚂𝚠𝚒𝚖𝚜 𝚒𝚗 𝚖𝚢 𝚜𝚎𝚗𝚜𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝚜𝚎𝚊 𝚘𝚏 𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚜𝚝…𝚋𝚞𝚝 *𝙰𝙷𝙴𝙼* 𝚖𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚒𝚖𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚕𝚢: 𝙳𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚋𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚐𝚞𝚢! 𝚃*𝚌𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙺𝚒𝚗𝚔/𝙽𝚂𝙵𝚆 𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚜 𝙳𝙽𝙸!!!)
𝚆𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: 𝚂𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚍𝚎𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚜, 𝚊𝚌𝚌𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚕 𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏-𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚖 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜, 𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚜𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚔𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐. 𝙿𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝙿𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝙿𝙻𝙴𝙰𝚂𝙴 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍 𝚊𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚛𝚒𝚜𝚔!!!
𝚁𝙴𝙼𝙸𝙽𝙳𝙴𝚁: 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝙰𝙳𝙷𝙳 𝚊𝚗𝚍/𝚘𝚛 𝚊 𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚕 𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚘𝚛𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚘 𝚛𝚎𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚒𝚌!!! 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢 𝚒𝚜 𝚋𝚊𝚜𝚎𝚍 𝚘𝚗 𝚖𝚢 𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝚎𝚡𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎𝚜 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚒𝚝 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚒𝚝 𝚒𝚜 𝚖𝚊𝚍𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚎𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢 ☺️💞💗💓💕
**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚𝙰𝚗𝚐𝚜𝚝 𝚖𝚢 𝚋𝚎𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚍 🕺🏾✨💞🎶˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*·̩̩̥͙
Mikey couldn’t do anything right now. Like…anything.
Well…perhaps he was being a bit too dramatic. He was breathing. And he was fidgeting with his squishy cube. So saying he wasn’t doing 'anything' wasn’t entirely true.
Right now he just…couldn’t do anything…productive.
For example, the box turtle tried making his favorite dishes and deserts! But that endeavor just ended up being a huge mess in the kitchen…and leaving the youngest turtle with a bunch of unappetizing food.
Which he fed all to Raph by the way.
Some would call that choice of action cruel but Mikey would just call it 'using his resources'.
Besides, it’s not like the eldest minded at all. He said, and I quote: 'It has a nice…crunchy feeling to it. Did you put some of Don’s inventions in this?'
Which honestly got a couple of chuckles out of the smallest turtle teen of the bunch.
Then, Mikey tried skateboarding! But for once in all his 14 years of living…it was just utterly boring.
And after all of that nonsense, Mikey then finally tried reading a comic…but he was too unfocused to even get to the second page…
But what was really new? Mikey could never focus on jackshit even if said jackshit hit him right in the shell.
His brothers and sister would always have to remind him to stay focused or 'not do this' or 'not do that'.
For example, a couple days ago Donnie had to kindly remind the box turtle (well…as kindly as Donnie could be anyway…) to brush his teeth.
To. Brush. His. Fucking. Teeth.
And honestly? Having to be reminded to do that was really embarrassing. And the orange banded teen knew his brother didn’t mean to humiliate him internally…but…yeah.
And it’s not like the softshell was wrong either! The youngest turtle just couldn’t freaking accept that he himself couldn’t do such a simple task in the morning.
But literally every task he completely fails to do is just utterly simple ones!
Like cleaning his room or not forgetting things or even keeping track of time!
…And the sad part about all of it was Mikey just honestly could not understand how his family haven’t gotten sick of his annoying tendencies…
And let’s be for real here…that was basically all of his tendencies.
The box turtle groaned loudly in his room, slamming his whole body on his bed as he screamed into his pillow.
There had to be something he could do instead of just wallowing in his own self pity…
And one of those options could not consist of bothering his family with his random bad mood. They had to put up with him 24/7…the least he could do was give them some space.
The youngest then glanced at his drawing notebook hopefully…
…One little sketch of something random wouldn’t hurt, right?
The amber eyed teen reached for his notebook, grabbing a pen from his drawer as he started to sketch his desk because why the absolute fuck not? Based on the objects he’s drawn in the past…sketching a simple desk should and will be easy, right? Right.
That was until the orange banded teen’s pencil tip broke. But it was fine! He could just re-sharpen it, right? Right.
That was until the youngest realized he had absolutely no clue where his sharpener was due to the fact his room looked like a pig stie. And there was no way he was looking for it in…that whole situation.
…The situation he created in the first place.
Michelangelo layed on his bed with his face staring at the ceiling in frustration, he ran his fingernails along his arms, not making really deep cuts with them but going deep enough for it to hurt a bit.
Like a reasonable turtle would, Mikey should probably get one of his stress toys…or better yet, another pencil!
But let’s be for real here…he’d most likely find a way to fuck that up too.
Suddenly, there was a small, quiet knock on Mikey’s door but…in all honesty? He just wanted to crawl into his shell and sob for the next hour and a half. Letting out a niiiiice and quick 'come in' would take way too much energy.
The box turtle let out a soft grunt, letting whoever was on the other side know it was a-okay to come in.
Abruptly, Leo peeked in the room, a wide smile plastered on his face as he closed the door, “Damn, Mikester…it looks like every single natural disaster went through your room…”
“I’m cleaning it.” The youngest grumbled to his brother.
“Really? You sure about that, little bro? Because if my memory serves me correct (which it in-fact does), you said that last week. And the week before that…and the week before—“
“I SAID I’M FUCKING CLEANING IT!!!” The orange banded turtle snapped, sitting up on the bed to glare at his immediate older brother before slowly realizing what he just did.
The youngest’s heart dropped as he looked away from his brother. The orange banded mutant’s eyed widened as silent and small tears ran down his face. He covered his mouth as his other hand turned to a fist, his nails unforgivingly digging into his palm.
“I-I’m sorry…I’m s-sorry…I-I’m so s-sorry…!” He started, rocking himself back and forth before stopping as he was met with a warm embrace. Leonardo hugged him gently but firmly, rubbing the other’s shell in a comforting hold. “Woah woah…! Bud, you have nothing to apologize for…” The slightly older teen said as he rested his chin on the top of his baby brother’s head.
“L-Like h-hell I don’t. I-I just screamed a-at y-you for no reason…” Michelangelo wobbly said. “You were just trying to lighten the mood but I just had to make everything harder like I-I always do…!”
“Mikey—”
“I-I always do this. I-I’m so f-fucking s-sorry Leo…”
“Mikester…I-I appreciate the apology but it seriously isn’t necessary—”
“You’re probably so sick of me and so angry at me. I-I’m sorry I just—”
“Mikey!” Leo gently yelled to get the other’s attention, squeezing the smaller turtle’s hands as he stared straight at him with pleading eyes. “Do I look mad?”
“…N-No.”
“Do I sound mad?”
“…No.”
The second youngest sadly smiled, “So what are you apologizing for, hm?”
“…I-I…dunno…I-I just…I just felt I needed to apologize…” The box turtle mumbled as he looked at his hands. The blue banded turtle sighed, slowly getting out of the hug so him and his little brother faced each other. The slider rubbed the other turtle’s palm with his thumb comfortingly, “…Do you wanna talk about it, baby bro?”
The leader in blue was just met with silence…which he could honestly work with.
“Angelo…you know you can tell me…anything, right? Like…anything. Although, it doesn’t have to be me you talk to about it. It could be Raph or Don or April or even Dad or Draxum! I just…don’t want you sitting here and bottling up the way you feel…”
Silence. Leo continued.
“You’re always there when we need you, Angel. Whether it’s to vent or to just ramble about shit, you’re just…always there. We don’t tell you this enough but we appreciate you always being someone we can lean on…”
Silence. Leo continued.
“But…you do know you can lean on us too, right? Comfort goes both ways and I can see you’re hurting, buddy. So please…if you need to talk to me…I’m right here.”
Mikey sniffled, squeezing Leo’s hand, “I-I d-dunno. Today is just…weird. This whole week has just been…weird.” Leo nodded, giving his brother his full undivided attention, “How so?”
“I just…haven’t been able to do anything…” The smaller teen admitted.
“What do you mean?” The taller teen inquired.
“I haven’t been able to do…anything. Like, I can’t draw, cook or even skateboard! Me!!! Not being able to skateboard— isn’t that crazy?!” The amber eyed turtle laughed bitterly.
“And it’s not like I can’t do it. I’m perfectly freaking capable of doing it in the right amount of time I want but my brain just. won’t. let. me!”
“I keep procrastinating and not doing the stuff I want to do and I have no idea why! I’m tired of just putting things off and being this way! I want to do things without having to ask you guys for help or to remind me or to relate it with a hyperfixation that I have!” Mikey hiccuped, a new wave of tears rolling down his face as his hands shook.
The amber eyed teen sniffled, refusing to look at his immediate older brother at all right now because…holy shit he just overshared a whole lot…
Like…a whoooooooooole freaking lot.
“…That sounds like you.” Leonardo shrugged.
In a state of just shock and confusion, the box turtle pulled his hands away from his brother, looking up at him as lime green eyes met amber ones. “I…what…?” Michelangelo murmured.
“I said that sounds like you.” Leo said again casually as Mikey glared at him, “Yeah. I heard what you said but that isn’t helpful.”
“I’m just being honest with you, Mikester.” Leo said, “Just…let me explain, okay?”
“…You have five minutes before I kick you out of my room.”
“Deal.” The lime green eyed mutant commented, “You can’t draw, cook or skateboard right now. You’re procrastinating and not doing the stuff you want to do in the time you planned…is that correct?”
Michelangelo sent deathly daggers to his brother— which the other wasn’t phased by at all. This time was probably the best time to crawl in his own shell and just sob his eyes out because what kind of dumbass question was his dumbass brother asking him?!
“…Yes.” The orange banded teen mumbled.
“And…why are those bad things?”
“WHY?!” The box turtle huffed out a laugh of annoyance, “Pfft— you’re asking me why. Maybe it’s because it’s annoying?! Maybe because it’s frustrating to deal with and I don’t want to burden you guys with my problems?! Maybe because I don’t want to fucking feel or be this way?!” The youngest shouted, breathing heavily as he finished his rant.
The box turtle looked away again, silently cursing at himself for getting annoyed so easily. “Mikey.” Leo started again, “Your being too hard on yourself, okay? No one is expecting you to be at your 100% all the time.”
“What you just described to me; you being able to not focus or you getting bored easily or procrastinating with stuff is…literally you. You’re just being you.” The slider explained as he held his baby brother’s hand in his. “And I get it. It’s hard to deal with it sometimes and it’s going to be hella frustrating. Like…super borderline frustrating. But you can’t shun them away and just…try to ignore them, bubs…”
“Let’s take moi for example. I’m impulsive, I talk loud and lose things daily. Those three things don’t make up my whole personality but it would be super weird and off-putting if I just…didn’t do or have those three things, right?”
The youngest giggled wetly, “Yeah…it would. A-And by the way, I’m still waiting for you to find that glittery pen kit I gave you…”
Leonardo groaned loudly and dramatically, causing the other teen to giggle louder, “I’m looking for it, okay?! It’s in my room…somewhere.” The taller mutant mused, “But anyways…back to you. You procrastinate, you relate things to your hyperfixations and you can’t do some of your favorite tasks from time to time…those are some traits that make up you, is it not?”
Mikey sniffled, rolling his eyes playfully due to the fact he knew damn well where this was going, “Yeah…”
Leo smiled softly, seeing his younger brother was starting to get his point, “I wouldn’t change a single thing about you, okay? I know sometimes it’s hard to deal with the things you described but you have us for that.” He said as his smile turned to a grin.
“You can come to me— to us— anytime. We love you for who you are…your flaws and all and we just…I-I need you to know that we love you so so much—!” The slider was cut off by a sudden abrupt embrace from the box turtle. The orange banded teen sobbed into the other’s shoulder, clutching the taller turtle like a lifeline.
“T-Thank you…” The box turtle wobbly said through tears.
“Of course, Angel.” Leo said as he hugged his baby brother back, “I love you.” He said as he kissed the other teen on the head.
“I-I l-love you too…”
.
.
.
.
.
.
“Tell your thoughts to shut up.” Leo said as he lightly poked Mikey in the forehead numerous times. The two were sitting on the box turtle’s bed just simply…relaxing and enjoying each other’s company. Michelangelo was sitting in between his older brother’s legs as he had his shell to his brother’s plastron.
Leonardo hugged his brother protectively, resting his chin on the top of the box turtle’s head. “What do you mean?” The youngest giggled out. “I can hear your thoughts, man. You’re not bothering me or disturbing me in any way, shape or form, alright…?”
The amber eyed turtle nodded, squeezing Leo’s hand, “Y-Yeah…I know...”
“I’m choosing to be here because I love you. I don’t feel obligated to be here, okay? You’re not annoying and you, neither your problems are a burden…okay?” The slider said reassuringly, “It’s okay to ask us for help…and we don’t mind reminding you to do things…okay?”
“You’ve said ‘okay’ like, fifty times…”
“Mikey.”
“Mhm…yeah yeah…I gotcha…”
The elder looked at his brother skeptically, resting his chin on his little brother’s shoulder so they made solid eye contact, “I want you to say it.”
“…Say what exactly?”
“I want you to say that you are an amazing person and you don’t need to change a single thing about yourself.”
“You are an amazing person and you don’t need to change a single thing about yourself.” Michelangelo grinned smugly. Leonardo glared at the youngest’s interpretation to his statement, “Mikey, you know exactly what I meant.”
“I said what you wanted me to say…so…” The amber eyed teen trailed off.
“Michelangelo.” The slider said in a warning tone as he poked the other’s side. The box turtle squeaked at the unexpected touch, trying to stop his immediate older brother from doing it again but his brother had a strong but gentle grip on him…
Then the smallest turtle came to recognition that he was stuck in a potential tickle hug with no way out…
…How wonderful.
“L-Leeheeo…doohoo nahat.” The orange banded mutant warned through his giggles, said warning not seeming too threatening due to the fact he was already laughing up a storm. The leader in blue raised a brow, poking the other’s side repeatedly, “I just want you to repeat what I said…in the first person.” The taller teen specified.
The smaller turtle squirmed in the hug, small frantic giggles pouring out of his mouth. This…really wasn’t how he was expecting his day to go. Just about an hour ago, he was wallowing in sadness about the stuff he hated about himself, to talking about it with his brother, to now getting tickled by his brother.
…So could he really complain about how things turned out?
…Yes. Yes, he absolutely could.
“Leeheeon! Plehease dohon’t!” The youngest squealed as one of his brother’s hands hovered over his stomach. Mikey held onto the other’s wrists, trying to stop his elder brother from tickling him but his small attempts ending up to be all for nothing as Leo effortlessly tickled his stomach with one hand.
“LEEHEEHAHAHA!!” Michelangelo laughed wholeheartedly, swatting at his brother’s arms. The lime green eyed turtle cooed at the gesture, now using both of his hands to attack the youngest’s plastron, “D'aww…look at you giggling your head off~! You’re my adorable little bundle of amazingness, aren’t you~?”
The smaller teen shook his head, a faint blush appearing on his face, “STAHA— squeal N-NAHAHA!”
“What~? What was that?” The blue banded mutant asked as he kneaded the box turtle’s hips. “GYAHAH— squeal SHIHIHIT! COHOME OHAHAN!!!” The amber eyed turtle cried frantically as he kicked his legs on the mattress slightly.
The youngest squealed with laughter, curling in on himself as he slumped in his big brother’s hold. Leonardo just sighed fondly at the action, wrapping the other in another hug as he raspberried his neck. “LEEHEEHEE!! PLAHAH— squeak NAHAHAT THEHERE squeak PLEHEASE PLEHEASE— squeak!!!”
“Not there~?” The elder lightly mocked, “What about…here~?” He mused as he used his hands to scribble all over the younger turtle’s ribs. Mikey cackled, shaking his head to try and at least subside the tickly feelings.
“NAHAHA— squeal AHAHAHA!! NAHAHAT THEHEHERE EHE— squeal EHEHEITHER!!! LEEHEEO!!” The orange banded turtle squeaked as Leo stopped for a second, “I’ve tried sooooo many spots, buddy! How many times are you gonna say not there, hm?”
Mikey genuinely squawked louder than a firefighter siren, squirming so much it looked like he was actually being electrocuted. “PLEHEHAHA LEEHEEO NAHAHAT THEHEHE RIHIHIBS!!!” He cackled.
“Not the riiiibs~? Why~? Is it because it’s your tickle spot~? Your tickletickletickle spot~? Because you’re ticklish~?” Leonardo asked as he lightly nibbled the crook of Mikey’s neck.
Michelangelo screamed in laughter, scrunching up his shoulders as he dug his heels on the bed, a couple of his plushies sadly falling on the floor (R.I.P. man…) “EEEHEEHEEP!!! S-STAHAP BEEHEEING MEEHEAN!” Mikey said as he thrashed on the bed.
The slider said nothing, his hands sneaking up to the box turtle’s underarms. “AAAAHAHAHA! OHO NOHOHO— squeak SHIT! SHIHIHAHAT!”
Happy tears slowly begin to appear in the smallest teen’s eyes, he weakly hit Leo’s arms as a last attempt to be set free, “LEHEHEMME squeal GOHOHOHO!”
“Ohonly if you sahay it, bubs.”
“IHIHI— SQUEAK!! LEEHEEHEEON!!!”
“Yeeeees, baby brother~?” The elder dragged out as he kneaded the other’s hips.
“IHI’LL SAHAY IHIHAT I-IHIHI’LL SAHAHAY IHIT!!” The amber eyed teen squealed.
“And you promise not to be a sassy little shit about it~?” The older teen asked.
“SQUEAK YEHAHAHA— SQUEAK YEHES YEHES I-I PROHOHOMISE!”
Leo stopped tickling his little brother, hugging him protectively as the youngest caught his breath slowly but surely. “W-Wahait…whahat squeak wahas ihihat yohou eeheeven wahanted me squeak to sahay again?”
The taller turtle pondered for a bit, thinking to himself before loudly groaning, “That’s…a good damn question. I don’t really remember exactly what I wanted you to say in the first place…” The lime green eyed turtle sighed, “Forgetfulness at its finest...”
The red eared slider adjusted himself, making sure the other was comfortable before starting to speak again, “Well…based on what we talked about…could you maybe just…y'know…” Leo gestured with his hands before groaning, “Do you get what I’m trying to say, man?”
“…I thihink I have ahan idea…” Mikey giggled as he fiddled with his hands, “I shouldn’t beat myself up so much because of some of my traits or quirks. And I’m allowed to feel frustrated and/or upset because things don’t go my way because of them. But…I shouldn’t allow those things to put me down...”
Michelangelo smiled softly, rubbing his palm with his thumb, “They don’t define me as a person but they make me a person. I don’t need to be at my best 100% and I’m allowed to have bad days. And if things get too overwhelming or difficult I can just go to you guys.”
Mikey hugged himself, letting out a small laugh as his happy tears welled up in his eyes, “I’m just…being me. And there’s nothing wrong with that.” Leonardo teared up at his brother’s words, hugging him tighter than he ever had before and burying his face at the back of the youngest’s head.
“Never forget that, Miguelito…never forget that.”
·̩̩̥͙**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚𝙵𝙸𝙽˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*·̩̩̥͙
(𝙿.𝚂.: 𝙸𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚎𝚗𝚓𝚘𝚢𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚒𝚌, 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚛𝚎𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚐!!!)
#Rottmnt tickle#Rottmnt tickle fic#Rottmnt tickle fanfiction#Lee!Mikey#Ler!Leo#MWYAHSHSHHSAN#This is actually so silly I love this 💞💗💗#I hope you guys enjoyed the angst 🤪#ADHDERS AND PPL WITH ADHD TENDENCIES UNITE 🙌🏾💕🩷💓💘💝💗‼️‼️‼️#Adhd is a bitch 🖤…#Leo can be an asshole at times but he doesn’t mean to I swear 😭💔#My boy just copes with jokes but he has a hard time understanding that not EVERYONE copes like that#So when Mikey snapped at him and started breaking down he was like: “😁 -> 😄 -> 😀 -> 😐 -> 🫢”#I HATTTEEE forgetting to brush my teeth 😟…it’s so damn nasty man#AND NOT BEING ABLE TO DRAW LIKE YOU USED TO⁉️⁉️⁉️ GRAUGHHHH REAL SHIT#I care about these two sm omfg#I need more content with these tWO LOOK AT THEM 🥹💙🧡!!!#“Tell ur thoughts to shut up 😒” msndhjsjss peak sibling comment#Also I changed my writing style a TEEEEENSY weensy bit if you haven’t guessed#For a while…I haven’t like the **’s I put at the noises that characters made when they laughed :/#Soooo I tried just doing it in italics and AHHUUGHFHS 😖💖💗💘💝🩷💓💞💕#IT LOOKS SM BETTER#I just wanted the laughing to seem more natural#Your just being you guys 🫶🏾#DON’T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF PLEASEEEE#Eat some snacks!!! Drink some water/juice!!! Exercise!!!#Your allowed to feel the way you do so just take it easy ☺️👍🏾#I’M RUNNING OUTTA TAGS BUT IF ANYONE WANTS TO TALK ABOUT THE BEHIND THE STAGE WORKS ON HOW I MADE THIS I CAN ALWAYS YAP TO YOU ABT IT 😈🤌🏾#I don’t think I implied this very well but Leo feels the same way Mikey feels…so that’s why he was so PERSISTENT on making sure Mikey’s alr#But Leo take his own advice challenge GO 🗣️🗣️🗣️‼️‼️‼️ Maybe a pt. 2 🫢??? Idk yet lolololololol
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I really can’t stand seeing other Jews on here spreading misinformation about the “protesters” (honestly we should start calling them rioters or even militants—it’s what they call themselves), and their posts getting 9k+ notes, meanwhile Jewish students and NYC Jews are screaming into the void about who these people ACTUALLY are and our posts hardly even break 100 notes, with even half of Jumblr ignoring us, saying we’re exaggerating when we say what’s happening on campuses is THAT BAD, or saying that our civil rights (which are required to be protected under the law!) matter less than a person who’s violating their green card agreement facing the same legal consequences based on the same law that Biden used against violent West Bank settlers back when he was president
#antisemitism#jumblr#the jewish experience tag#i took my own advice and left for a day or so#but i came back to vent something on jewish-vents and instead i saw someone agreeing with a stupid post with 9k+ notes#like… if you agreed with the visa sanctions against violent West Bank settlers#but don’t agree with the green card revocation (which is entirely legal as I’ve stated multiple times!) of someone who’s a leader#of an organization that harasses and ASSAULTS Jews as well as school employees#then your double standards are double standarding!#also this hemming and hawing about ‘optics’ and ‘oooh but it doesn’t feel /right/ to deport people’#is doing NOTHING to stop Trump and all the damage he’s doing#is doing NOTHING to show goyim who already hate us that we’re actually human beings#but is doing EVERYTHING to show fellow Jews who read your posts that you actually don’t believe them#and that their CURRENT safety is less important than ‘the long run’
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reread tiphs dialog recently. i love them lots
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#lobotomy corp spoilers#lobcorp spoilers#i cant help it. the boxes....#i never know what to tag as spoilers and what not to. so just to be safe#tiphereth#tiphereth lobcorp#chesed#chesed lobcorp#do i do all of them..? some of them are smaller. ahh itll be okay i hope..#netzach#netzach lobcorp#ill stop there. there is gebura yesod and malkuth but its just one drawing for both#just general thoughts of mimicking others and trying to potray what maturity is. the dialog from story 1 when you meet them i think abt tip#talking abt being stern stoic and strict. then netz talking abt yesod and the two behaving similar like that#just thought some others would be cute. trying to get used to how id draw her. ah the gebura tiph one was a loose idea in gebs story to#where the two talk and tiph advises against asking to much and to hold onto that hate iirc. been a bit. then the idea of her able to replac#parts. then the degradation of the soul after being destroyed. maybe tiph might check up on her or peek in to see how shes doing considerin#the idea to hold onto hate was advice She gave. iirc. anyways the concept of having black coffee to look cool and grown#they put the shortest next to the tallets in the same layer. had another idea to have the two tiphs stack atop one another to be as tall as#chesed and gebs but i got too tired. its a cute idea though might do it later. another thing i wanted to do later on was pertaining to#singing a song of homeland and lisa stating she wanted to dance. that and the backdrop from c comand being a giant stage. preformance arts#malkuth is there because the three all do a command team. lots is stuff and responsibility. feel like tiph would have beef w her . also an#iirc moment i recall something abiut the two teams havinf a rivalry or competition of sorts? kind of funny what beef u got w some kids bro#more likely pertaining to the agents inside of the teams itself to be honest. i think id be cute is malkuth would give some help tips thoug
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jean moreau, and faith and religion and the absence of it.
the sunshine court, nora sakavic // the unabridged journals of sylvia plath, sylvia plath // "stay down" by boygenius ft. julien baker, lucy dacus, and phoebe bridgers // the denial of st. peter, caravaggio // salome with the head of st. john the baptist, simon vouet // henry iv pt. ii, william shakespeare // the rebirth of the arts, charles haslewood shannon // daredevil: "born again" (1986) by frank miller et al. // "ash-wednesday", t.s. eliot // map of hell, botticelli
#jean moreau#the sunshine court#aftg#tsc#renee walker#all for the game#nora sakavic#web weaving#r weaves webs#okay yall im gonna be honest this is a new kind of engagement for me soooo pls b nice#however i simply had to get into it bc i have so many ideas all the time#in this case all the religious imagery in tsc literally had me losing my mind#i didn't even have space to use half the examples i found here#renee rainbow post coming maybe???#anyway for those of yall who do these web posts all the time pls lmk if u have any advice bc honestly i just gave it my best shot#like i did do my research so everything should in fact mean what i believe it means#but u know. nowhere to go from here but UP#r tags#r posts
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I have absolutely zero spoons to provide links this is not a news post this is a ... a sigh. it's widely reported and easily searchable info. Fuck it i came back and added links
memos relating to the bullshit huge federal funding freeze and demanding orgs answer 14 questions by next week to keep their funding, to ensure they aren't supporting "illegal" "DEIA"
The acronym has grown
Diversity, Equity, Inclusion, and Accessibility
They're gonna go after the whole fuckin ADA, aren't they.
Oh, and he repealed instructed the DOJ not to enforce the FACE Act, the 90s law to protect clinics, patients, and staff from anti-choice protestors (they can now get right back up to the doors, and short of basically killing someone it just won't be enforced)
They're trying to institute a way to simultaneously email all 2.3 million federal employees at once to be able to "communicate directly" and not have orders "filtered by management". Several lawsuits already, massive privacy concerns, etc.
Loyalty tests have begun for both current employees and applicants, mostly headed by department-inexperienced youths, to ensure full 100% enthusiastic support specifically of MAGA over Republican party and with zero non-party associations or opinions
He revoked equal opportunity employment, killing 60 years of labor+civil rights just as both my trans wife and my trans self are trying to find work
The funding freeze has everyone scrambling. Compliance by 5pm today, so many have been working through the night because some of these programs can't just be flipped like a switch. non-profits panicking. Research suspended. Emergency meetings. Already "temporary" layoffs of medical staff and others, for grant freezes.
r/fednews is a new subreddit for Fed workers to whistleblow and share internal fuckery. Have a random screenshot.
The reddit account that discovered that the funding freeze EO was written by two randos bc the pdf metadata wasn't scrubbed, one of whom is Heritage Foundation, was nuked. An hour later the EO was updated to change the "author"
Aaaaand he's openly talking about deporting "criminals," and regressives are enthusiastically supportive of the idea of deporting "dissidents" like [checks notes] American citizen Selena Gomez.
Etc etc etc oh god there's so fucking much already.
I am left wondering how to personally tread the line between "do not comply in advance" and "do not draw attention to yourself." How to keep my family safe. I am wondering how many of the social media posts encouraging people to scream and be loud and DEMAND to be SEEN and RESPECTED as QUEER/DISABLED/ETC are maybe written by people who don't know or remember how fucking bad the baseline social attitude was towards marginalized people even just twenty years ago, and therefore have zero context for exactly how bad it can get and what it's like to survive daily life in even the mildest of strict national oppression, and maybe don't really even believe us when we try to tell them, think we could never go back that far surely, not for very long surely.
And I am so, so sorry my loves, but you have yet to see a true winter, and you're treating the snow flurries as hyperbole.
#us politics#it is going to be. a whiskey night. a d vidya games and art and whatever else#furiously practicing self care while trying not to hyperventilate. yknow how it goes#rambleramble bullshit time#tw alcohol#is it cringe to tw tag for ... other tags. idk but just in case#disabled#LGBTQ#i s2g i am trying to take my own advice and pace myself and not look at the news more than like. once a day#it is still like getting immediately and repeatedly curbstomped. this is not like last time. this is already so much worse#cheers m8s&str8s#<- catchall personal negativity/doomer/grim acceptance tag#uuugggGgGgghhhggghh ITS BEEN ONE FUCKING WEEK#welcome to project 2025 🍻 'but we ALREADY--' no. stop.#that was Petri Dish activities. the culture was successful and the prototype approved and we are now in Main Production#those were the previews. the trailers. and yeah they sucked. but now it's a four-year movie we can't fucking leave#it is a WHOLE different SCALE
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ah yes, 3am, the hour of existential crises
where we overthink things such as:
FUCK SHIT FUCK have I developed a crush on one of my best friends or am I just incredibly starved for affection and they happen to be the one giving me the affection I desperately crave
Wait am I ace or just incredibly dysphoric about the idea of someone seeing my body ever
Does that same friend from two bullet points ago have a crush on me or am I overthinking the conversation we had about sword proposals (again) (in addition to a number of other things)
Is my boss going to give me a promotion that I am in no way ready for (I partially blame this one on my friend who put the idea in my head)
Am I going to die alone
Wait hang on I've only developed what people consider to be "crushes" on people I was already friends with am I demi
What even is gender
Help
#Send help#I am having multiple sexuality crises at once#Btw the friend who I am panicking about having a crush on and the friend who suggested that my boss is maybe going to give me a promotion#Are the exact same friend#Friend if you're reading this#First of all no the fuck you aren't and also how the hell did you find my Tumblr#Second please ignore everything you just read#Third go the fuck sleep dumbass (affectionate) it's 3am and only one of us can be awake having multiple crises at a time#Orion speaks#I feel like I need to have a tag for the original post I make just because they're so rare and get buried so quickly#Also yes this is the same friend who I was panicking about with the offering to make a sword for me#If anyone has advice please send it my way#I'm lowkey desperate#Help
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these lines hit different when you read utena as transmasc
#i mean the first one is really awful regardless.#pretty sure i read somewhere that the words akio uses means something along the lines of 'you really should remain a child'#as opposed to 'you really should remain the gender that you are.' which speaks to his whole thing about keeping these kids from growing up#and there's So Much in anthy's line even without hypothetical misgendering#anyway the au where utena has already transitioned by the time he gets to ohtori is really good#and i of course have lots of headcanons about post-ohtori utena and gender#but i've been thinking about one where he's actively questioning while he's there and is not out to anyone.#and i guess not a lot would really change but akio's attempt at making utena more feminine would have a whole other layer of awful to it#and unfortunately i think in this scenario the first person he would come out to would be akio. which is so sad#like maybe it could be anthy but idk. i think it would be something he'd be apprehensive to be open about with her#(in the show utena does tend to be more vulnerable with akio than with anthy. at least the vulnerability with him comes first.#he's her go-to person for advice in the black rose arc and utena doesn't really begin opening up to anthy like that until the third arc)#maybe i should write something for this au. i can see it so clearly.#utena talking about his confusing gender feelings in one of those black rose scenes in the planetarium#and akio doing that thing where he sounds supportive and helpful but absolutely isn't.#that fake sympathy that's actually really patronizing and condescending and dismissive but subtly enough that utena doesn't realize it#and THEN the contrast when utena finally talks to anthy about it and she empathises by talking about her own confusing gender feelings#(transfem anthy realness !!!!!)#oh wow i did not mean to write so much in the tags#revolutionary girl utena#utena tenjou#my posts
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me when the girl i've been dating for two months tells me that she doesn't find me at all attractive and isn't attracted to me and doesn't know if she ever will be !!!!!
#aaand so i stay with her anyway???#because uhhh idk i'm fucking stupid i guess#also she said that a large part of the reason was that i “wasn't masc enough” or something#and like. if you are my mutual who is also my irl and is seeing this then hmmmm we have stuff to talk about i think#but also if you are one of my irls at all and you're seeing this then no you're not#anyway what do you think i should do [non rhetorical question] bc like uhhhh#and she was like ????? but i don't want to kiss someone who isn't attracted to me remotely#and like not to get into it too much but i have. already been in relationships where i was used for my body and for experimenting and stuff#and the idea of having to do that again makes me feel like i should die actually!!!#i mean the idea that apparently i've already been doing that again makes me feel so so disgusting and gross actually i don't fucking know??#but also i am a fucking idiot or something because i said that was fine and that i wouldn't go anywhere as long as she didn't want me to#ugh idk i try not to make a habit of venting on the internet but also like#half the problem is that i don't really have many friends here in real life at my college right and she was my closest friend before we#started seeing each other so that throws a major wrench in things and also means i don't really HAVE ppl i can vent to that aren't on the#internet so here you go i guess. whatever this is my blog anyway i can do what i want here#harperposting#sorry for yapping and sorry for dumping it all in the tags and ugh idk whatever but if one of you knows what i should be doing please lmk f#i am in fact soliciting advice
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when you are afraid to say "no" to someone it can be helpful to ask what consequences you realistically think might occur, particularly focusing on "escalations" and defense against them.
if you are afraid to reject someone, you should ask, "what might they feel in response? how might they act on those feelings? and how might they escalate things in response to being challenged?"
this can help you identify people who legitimately respect your boundaries, relatively reasonable people with some challenging or unhealthy communication habits, and people who are overtly toxic, controlling, and abusive.
subconsciously many people with trauma backgrounds respond to conflicts with a generalized, abstract mortal terror. on an emotional level, there is a flattening where an annoyed tone or triggering phrase can feel as dangerous as a person swinging at you.
but most people, even abusive ones, have limits to what they are willing to do. disentangling your absolute worst fears from grounded predictions allows for solutions beyond automatic survival strategies.
once you estimate the lengths someone could go to assert their will over yours, you can reinforce your own stance, tactically disengage from the situation, and protect your body and personal property.
if you haven't considered potential escalations, then standing up for yourself can feel impossibly risky. but once you understand the playing field, you can mitigate a number of those risks into something manageable.
while we can never be certain of what could happen, life doesn't need to be a binary between "being a doormat" and "going for a home run with a hornet's nest".
and preventing even one instance of (re)victimization can allow you to take back some of the power from the people who have used it against you.
#indexed post#the opinion haver#Not Expert Advice. just my 2c#post is generally aimed toward 'dealing with people who violate boundaries' over 'people who are pretty reasonable'#Also: If you have anyone familiar with the person you can get second opinions on your assessments. generally a good idea#Some examples of how one might prepare for potential escalations:#if you worry someone will rant at or berate you - you can leave the room. block contact. say you won't speak until they have calmed down.#if you worry someone might speak ill about you to poison your reputation - you can contact trusted people to forewarn and tell your side#eg telling your sibling 'i am going to tell mom i will not be coming home for the holidays. i think she may try to get you to pressure me#or exaggerate what i said. i don't want you to get roped into her bullshit so let's talk about what to do.'#if you worry someone may break your things you can consider moving or locking them away#or asserting 'eye for an eye' rules. making it clear the person will suffer if they aggress.#with physical threats - self defense techniques and weapons may be helpful.#And especially with violence-based self defense understand that you are trying NOT to need to resort to these things.#But you make your intentions known... 'if you do x i will y'.#(watch out for potential counter-escalations... don't make your preparations known until things have escalated toward needing them)#(like if you're like 'i don't want to see the movie. btw i have pepper spray and i'm not afraid to use it.' that causes issues).#And like some of this is long game stuff. Like if you do not have trusted people to turn to. Places to go overnight. Physical defense skills#Then identifying potential escalations allows you to consider what needs to be built#And what escalations you CAN'T prepare for and thus want to avoid by dropping before it gets there#I worry this post's advice might feed peoples' like. paranoid prepper compulsions#But the point is not to prepare for EVERY contingency. it's about identifying what you can roll with and what you can't.#what you have resources for and what you are lacking#so you're not constantly panicking but instead tapping into what you have and seeking what you don't#anyways. that's the end of the longass tags. thanks for reading
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having a lot of fun playing disco elysium! really enjoying it! however, coming to 3 mortifying realizations:
my brain works like the disco elysium skill system
it's not a tetris effect thing. my brain has always worked like the disco elysium skill system
i now have to explain the disco elysium skill system to my therapist
#[all of this is lighthearted‚ its a fun and enlightening realization to come to]#like its not a system thing. just me in here!#but i already often work to identify where certain thoughts/impulses come from and whether i should trust their advice#i interrupt my own thoughts and make decisions#ive got an active imagination and like compartmentalizing. shrug#not taking it too seriously. its fun to think in those terms exactly as long as it is useful for me to do so#this too shall pass#my gaming#DE tag
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Are there any storyboarding apps that are good and not super expensive or subscription based
#Chatterbomb#I used notability and really liked it but then it wanted me to pay for a subscription#I liked the select few pens (pencil pen and highlighter) and the duplicate function was pretty simple! I liked that I could add an mp3 to#Listen to the audio while boarding and that I could scroll through the pages#I think I would like if the eraser could be more selective with what it erased (like just the pencil or highlighter or pen)#I didn’t like how the quality dropped in transport to a pdf#But notability would’ve been good if it didn’t have a usage limit!! If it was just a one time purchase I’d reconsider but it’s bullshit to#Make a note taking software subscription based!!#I didn’t want to use procreate because it feels too professional to just scribble the ideas down#it also doesn’t have as nice of page layout and it doesn’t select strokes. Which is fine for an art program but I’m looking for something m#Probably more vector based. So the quality isn’t at risk I guess? Would a vector program be better for storyboarding?#Then again I like the pencil for the drawings themself. Idk#Is there a simple solution outside of add making an affordable storyboarding software to my to do list#Storyboarding#should I post on reddit#I feel like that might be too difficult with how closed off it is due to the karma system#art advice#art help#are any of these tags going to help#Boords.com is really good for pdfs (very good formatting imo and clean) it’s just a matter of what software can I use them best in
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Last ask before Barbra makes me count sheep- actually, two in one:
First: Who gets pregnant between Matilda, Kanjira, and Mercuria? (Can add Anjo Nala in on that for fun if you wish)
Second: Who would you ship Barbra with?
*sits down, pulls out a soda* Mmm...
For me, Anjo is most likely their unwillingly adopted murderous woman. As in, she adopted herself and interrupts their daily life.
Not to make things weird or anything, I feel like exploring a little into the future of a character's relationship in a more mature light can make you understand a couple things about the characters.
Though this might be an uncomfortable topic for some? I'm not entirely sure, the age and all...
So... Err, I think it would be Mercuria.
I took a moment to think, and I feel like Mercuria would be the one to take upon herself that responsibility.
Matilda is a foundation worker, so far, I don't think the foundation would allow anyone to engage in such conditions, especially someone so important as Matilda. In the future, if things continue the way they are, Matilda would be a very important asset to the foundation due to her loyalty, independence and goals.
She's very unique and a person that can rule and be able to come up with solutions with things given to her. If she's so smart this young, the foundation would absolutely require her once she's older. So, if she still works there, they would not allow her to get into any sort of thing that would have her temporality stop doing field missions.
Hell, they'd barely leave time for her personal life! Like Madam Z but instead of being an assistant, she's a field investigator equally as overworked if not more!
Kanjira, on the other hand, is a loose string. I don't think she'd be able to take upon herself the responsibility that it means carrying a child, as mentioned before.
It's more so the way she was raised, Sherja (?) didn't have any children yet she still had to take care of her and others, her parents were not present in her life and she had a bad experience with the adults back in her hometown. If that's how things are, could she really bear the thought?
Mercuria is the most mature and responsible one when it comes to life decisions. She's not a Matilda that barely has time to breathe, nor a Kanjira that doesn't want to carry with the responsibility.
She loves her mother despite what happened, she knows her mother loves her too but wasn't mentally prepared for the task. So, she had to really consider the idea.
She has that instinct, and I'm pretty sure it's her who suggested the idea to the others, because she's in a good place mentally, emotionally and spiritually, and she can do what her mother couldn't do for her.
I remember her tenderness when talking about her mother back in the event, though I didn't play her side story so I could be mischaracterizing, but I believe she has that instinct within herself that she can take care of her own child.
So, yes. I believe it's Mercuria, and Matilda is no absent mother, she would ask for a leave from the foundation to be there!
And I ship Barbara with Nick Bottom, though you'll probably see that in the other ask. Good night comrade, please sleep, I feel your tiredness.
#reverse 1999#THE BUNNY#pretty sure this could be a sensitive topic?#In my case I am very separated from rhat topic because it's been taught to me time and time again#but for some people the age of the characters might make them not want to think of them as adults in the future#because thet can grow to be adults with children but the topic is rarely discussed#I don't think of this as anything sexual. more like a development in character and whether or not they could grow to be a loving parent#Matilda wouldn't think of that due to time but also because of her past#same with Kanjira whose parents were never there and she sees herself in Sherjah#but Mercuria more in tune with her mother. Despite abandoning her I think Mercuria never stopped missing and loving her mother#that's the thing#we take after out parents so I feel like exploring their future and their reaction to adulthood could help us understand them better#they'll grow one day#and I made this a deep analysis in the tag#I see everything blurry so this is advice from an overworked person#sleep
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