#so like. whatever. i'll deal. but i am Definitely not happy about it lol.

[mlobsters]

supernatural s14e18 absence (w. robert berens)

DEAN Well, hey, here's to another miraculous Sam Winchester survival. Got to say, man, if Jack hadn't have healed you…

one might say it's getting a little absurd but whatever

i have zero idea how this is gonna shake out, with the kinda accidentally killing mary because she was gonna rat him out to the boys situtaion.

DEAN You know, lately, it feels like we'd be up the creek without that kid. I mean, first, he takes care of Michael and then Nick. SAM Kind of sounds like you're bummed about it. DEAN No. "Get out of jail free" card? I'll take that.

don't think it's the case here really because killing nick seemed pretty darned justified at this point but have noticed when there is a moral quandary to be had over killing someone, it's usually someone else that actually does it these days. if blog search actual functioned, you could get a number of results for quandary :p

so the cas not telling sam and dean about jack being clearly not right has come back to bite him in the ass.

LUCIFER Yeah. I'm your, you know, subconscious or whatever. Y-You whipped me up to help you figure this out.

so does jack get a hallucifer too then? (transcript says nick but it's lucifer)

LUCIFER All right? Buddy, you killed Mary Winchester. You cannot come back from that, and you know it. All right? You've been flapping your wings all around, trying to run away from what you did, and where'd you wind up? Right here, right back to the scene of the crime. JACK No. LUCIFER Yeah. Yeah, because somewhere inside, you realize that the sooner you accept it, the easier it'll be. JACK No, it's -- It was an accident. LUCIFER Okay. Tell Sam and Dean that. I'm sure they'll understand. It's not like family isn't everything to them

subconscious makes points

music while they're searching the cabin for jack/mary/dead nick is good. reminds me of hmm. modern thriller during a spooky/unsettling scene music. lol (it's christopher lennertz and tim wynn on music this ep. confirming yet again i am scores more likely to enjoy lennertz's score vs jay gruska's)

moments like this where it's like i can see the promise of what this show could be. a scene that's genuinely unsettling. slowing down and not focusing on this breakneck knee deep plot machinations, but setting a scene where the emotional tension that we know mary is dead and we're dreading them finding her, and finding this instead. dunno. it was very effective (and the music continued to be appropriate)

CASTIEL I know you know this, Mary, but, um, Sam and Dean -- they're -- they're glad to have you back. Whatever you still have to deal with and however long it takes, you should know they're happy. I mean, finally, they don't have to be so, um, so alone. MARY Castiel. They were never alone.

um, i think that's a bit of a stretch lol. cas was not around that much, and when he was it wasn't always good. they had bobby, lost bobby. have jody but see her even less. they've been hobbling between meager support systems for a while. cas only seems to really qualify in that way visibly onscreen in the past season or two at most? they talked him up but we didn't see it much.

DEAN Might have been Lucifer. Nick was trying to bring him back. SAM Yeah, but Jack said-- DEAN Who cares what Jack said? We don't know what happened! But I swear, if he did something to her, if she is -- then you're dead to me.

well. we know dean gets over shit pretty fast when it comes to the core group all things being equal, so i imagine he'd come around in a moderate amount of time. not like cas is ultimately culpable, not like when he broke sam's wall, for instance. it was a fuckup, but would jack have done something awful inadvertently-ish even if sam and dean knew right away when cas found out he definitely was off? ehh. everyone knew he wasn't acting quite right. but all bets are off when the person getting killed is mary (or heaven forbid, sam)

DEAN No, he knew. He knew something was wrong with the kid. He knew it, and he didn't tell us! He didn't even tell us! CASTIEL I was scared. I believed in Jack for so long, I I believed that he was -- he was good. I -- I knew that he would be good for the world. And he was good for us. My faith in him, it -- it never wavered, and then I-I saw what he did. It wasn't malice. It wasn't evil. It was like Jack saw a problem, and in his mind, he just solved it with that snake. DEAN The snake?! CASTIEL What he did wasn't bad. It was the absence of good. And I saw that in him. But we were a family, and I didn't want to lose that, so I thought I could fix it on my own. Felt like it was my responsibility. So I left. And I didn't tell you. If I could go back and just -- just talk to him right then and there, I would. But I can't, Dean. I failed you. And I failed Jack. And I failed --

cas, friend. you do not have a great track record with fixing stuff on your own. but i get it. but also, if you're trying to keep your family together, gotta communicate!

gonna try to resurrect mary with rowena, ok. i didn't see that coming

JACK I killed Mary. I-It was an accident. I-I didn't mean to. I just -- I just wanted her to be quiet. I just wanted her gone, but only for a second. And I just. I thought it. It all happened so fast. I need to undo it. You need to help me undo it.

you know i was thinking about this last night. and i think about the same kind of thing fairly regularly. mary could see she had reason to be scared of jack after the cruel way he killed nick (which everyone is a lot more upset about than i anticipated but ok). yet she still wouldn't lie to him about not telling sam and dean. an unstable, infinitely powerful child, essentially. and i think about the way that some people respond to people that are being aggressive or whatever. and you know, when you're someone that has been abused (like myself) sometimes you come away with a pretty ingrained fear of anyone acting off to do anything to avoid setting them off. i know that's not everyone's experience, for sure. but that was kind of an essential survival coping mechanism for me that's carried through. it doesn't serve me well in a lot of every day social conflict potential situations, but it is one that i think can sometimes keep you from getting killed 🤪

MARY Sam, everyone here understands what you've been doing and what you've been putting yourself through. SAM Yeah, I know, but Jack's been through a lot -- you know, losing his powers.And I haven't really been there for him.Sorry, Mom. I don't mean to lay all this on you. MARY No. Are you kidding? It's nice knowing I'm not the only one with parental guilt. How much did the two of you go through when I wasn't there for you? And even when Amara brought me back and I got a second chance, things got complicated. I got complicated. SAM Mom. MARY No, I'm just saying parenting is always a struggle.

heard. it's a struggle even when not these extraordinarily complicated and bizarre situations they're in.

SAM Dean, it wasn't just Cas. It wasn't. We knew Jack was dangerous. We always knew. Long before he killed Michael. You more than anyone. I mean, from the very beginning, you knew. But, you know, we fell for him 'cause he had a good heart and a good soul. Then he didn't. And that's on me, too, by the way. I mean, I'm the one who made the call to bring him back. He didn't ask for that. I decided for him. And you warned me. DEAN No, you didn't know, okay? We didn't know. SAM Exactly. We didn't know. But -- he had become our family. You know, after Maggie and the other Hunters died I just left. Just dumped Jack on Cas and left. I knew. I mean, I knew something was gonna I just didn't know it'd be this. DEAN I did it, too. When I talked to Donatello about Jack, he said he was good as far as he could tell. But then he talked about how powerful Jack was and that he could never really be sure. And it was a warning. I just couldn't see it.

i appreciate that they're both taking accountability

well. i guess they get some closure at least, having a body. i think by rights this should be upsetting me, but it isn't? nothing like the this season's absolute disaster of jack dying originally and dean hellbent on committing suicide/eternal torture. that was like. 3 solid episodes of ugly crying my way through them.

LUCIFER Well, I warned you. It's worse -- trying and failing. There's no going back. You realize that now. Cas, Sam, Dean they're never gonna trust you again. And you know what that means. What? You can never trust them.

the flaming hoops this show will jump through to keep pellegrino around!

is that mary with the baby one new? can't recall. they've added a few here and there past several seasons

glad they kept it to just the 3 of them, writer's 2nd draft script linked on wiki

SAMUEL WINCHESTER you better have a copy of that picture elsewhere before you burn it. you have so little of her! see, there you go, that's how you made me upset. thanks, show. push straight into the weepy montage of happy mary moments

?? that felt very... forced. whole scene did to me, but that was the icing on the cake

i liked mary, but never really connected with her i don't think. kind of like bobby, but even less to go on. don't blame samantha smith in the slightest, i think it's how they wrote her. she was great at the emotions. but this episode largely left me feeling 😐

[not-poignant]

Hello, happy holidays!

I’ve been a quiet consumer of your works and I just wanted to thank you for being such a source of writing inspiration for me. Especially with regards to how you handle reader engagement.

I used to be really sensitive about every negative/not explicitly positive interaction regarding my story and ruminate for days about what I did wrong, but your attitude towards people not always being into your content has really helped me engage with mine in a healthier way.

Idk if that makes sense lol. Feel free to ignore this if it doesn’t. Happy holidays again!

Hi anon!

Hopefully my replying to asks in sometimes an extremely untimely manner has not made you too anxious, it's definitely a me thing, and not a you thing. (*Quietly kicks my email inbox under the rug*).

Honestly, I can understand being sensitive to these things! I think a lot of creators are like 'you have to develop a tough skin' and while it's nice if you can, some of us remain relatively thin-skinned until the end of time, so instead we just have to learn ways to deal with it otherwise. Negative things still get to me, but now I can actively remind myself that it often has nothing at all to do with me, when it comes to my writing, or that I don't deserve to be treated with disrespect, or to be made to feel like it's my fault that *they made the choice to read my writing.* (I've never made anyone read my writing - but I do like it when it happens!)

I think as well, when people like and don't like your stuff, you're doing something right. It means you're making something real. I love onions on a burger, will always ask for extra onions on a burger, and some people can't stand onions and will be like 'ONIONS ARE THE GROSSEST THINGS EVER' (and asshole twats will be like) 'HOW DARE YOU EVER EAT ANOTHER BURGER AGAIN WITH ONIONS BECAUSE I HATE THEM' and when you look at negative comments through the lens of my burger analogy, you realise just how much what these people say has nothing to do with the people who like onions on their burgers. They are screaming into the abyss. They forgot they could use their little legs to just walk into a different store lmao. They forget they can leave.

That's what blocking, deleting, or reminding people that they could at least be respectful is for. But yeah, ultimately, people just need to find the burgers they like, and stop expecting the whole world to cater to them. Especially when it comes to free fanfiction / labour.

Anyway so it does make sense. I can talk about this until the cows come home (obviously). I don't think you need to feel unaffected by this stuff when the negativity comes, as long as you can gently remember some perspective here. Whatever your favourite food is, some people hate it, and the responsibility of those people isn't to get you to change your favourite food, it's to go elsewhere. And if someone forgets they have that power, I am always happy to remind them. And a block/delete reminds people just as well as saying something, depending on the level of troll you're encountering.

(If it's just general polite negativity I generally still remind them that I didn't make them read a thing, and they are welcome to go elsewhere. Sometimes you need to remind people that the exit is exactly the same as they door they came in through, they just need to turn around and use it, lol. And if it's general polite negativity with a few positive comments, I'll just respond to the positive stuff and ignore the rest).

(Also caveat: Doing things actually wrong when it comes to representing marginalised identities is an entirely different kettle of fish, obviously this is something to listen to and take on board and reflect on. That's just a very different strata to the kind of engagement I'm talking about here, where someone gets weird because like... I didn't make a character pregnant, or because I didn't describe a back story the way they wanted me to and so on (that's why fanfiction exists! Folks should write some!))

Sometimes folks also just need to be reminded of - or taught - fanfiction and fandom etiquette. Not everyone knows it, and not everyone picks it up through osmosis. But ultimately...

I don't have an ultimately, I just had a Wednesday afternoon ramble hehe.

[petewentzisblack1312]

Have you done an analysis of bishop’s knife trick yet? I feel like you have but I’m struggling to find it. I am so excited for FOB8 but in the same token I’m not ready to be brought to tears again like “I know I should walk away, know I should walk away/But I just want to let you break my brain/and I can't seem to get a grip/No, no matter how I live with it” just broke me listening to it again

I’ve been going through really bad mental health period and usually I’m used to the depression like it’s whatever but that’s not what this is like I feel like I’m losing my mind, I can’t sleep and yeah not to bitch about my mental health in your ask box but this song means so much to me rn bc like I’m terrified to go on meds so those lines make me want to bite Pete so lol. TLDR I would love your analysis ❤️ I feel like you always do such a good job on bringing mental health into it bc I feel like a lot of people ignore that aspect of Pete’s writing and want to make it all about relationships and like, it’s much deeper than that and You Get It

yes i have dones an analysis of bishops knife trick, you can find that here! im flattered that you like my analysis

ive also mentioned in a different post how "blue" in fall out boy is ambiguous because it can mean so many things. like are they the blues we sing or the blues we take or the blues we feel? i think the line "these are the last blues were ever gonna have/lets see how deep we get" is a good example of this. is it the last time the persona is taking their meds and theyre anticipating flying off the deep end? is it the last time they expect to be sad but they dont think its going to last? is this the last time theyre going to sing? i like that it could be multiple different things.

also, i just want to say to you that it can definitely be scary to try medication. i was worried it would take away my creativity (though i was suffering so much i was willing to trade that) however it really just made the negatives of my mental illness more manageable. im more able to channel my creativity in healthy ways. it actually allowed me to be more me than ever! that being said, if you decide you dont want to be medicated (and that is an option!) many people find success with frequent regular therapy sessions to build a toolbox to handle their symptoms. in my opinion you can effectively do therapy without medication (although it takes dedication to improving), but you cant really do medication without therapy!

i can tell you that i know what its like to feel like youre losing your mind and not be able to sleep and feel out of control and stuff, thats how i feel when im manic, and its. bad. like it feels good sometimes when youre like agitated and happy. but when youre agitated and upset, god is it bad. im hoping you get through this without any major crises. i recommend telling a friend youre feeling unstable so that they can check in with you. that line that you quoted specifically too, its so insane. like it describes the feeling so well. you know youre crossing lines, and maybe you been this way before and you feel like you should know how to deal with it but you dont because the feeling of being in it is so intoxicating that you just keep moving past the breaking point cuz you cant seem to get a grip no matter how long you live with it.

when i hear bishops knife trick all i can think is "i'll live if it kills me"

[neutrallyobsessed]

today is the day guys. when i finished posting my first fic ever.

i was suposed to do this on its anniversary but i thought that the end date was the start and kinda missed my own anniversary of starting to post shit online but oh well

POINT BEING. I AM WRITING.

i've been writing but as you can imagine, drawing takes priotity and sometimes is hard yknow? im taking this opportunity to tell ya bout the things i've been writing n what to expect and such:

a mtmtk+gen one-shot nice and short. it has invstigating of a case and that's difficult

a post-soj au bout Edgeworth (1/9 finished). what was silly jokes and references has turned into a something with a court scene and that's difficult

smut. a nrmy one-shot i thought of because of the song i named it after, it's not a big deal but has a gimmick that i found funny ok?

AND a smut anthology. this ones the good one. pretty proud of what i've written so far~ (2/5 finished)

the zip.lore comic of course! the thing is that i was so concentrated in drawing and putting things on the right place that i kinda forgot to write the dialogue lol. que cosas, no? but dont worry, im on it. i just, i just want to know how many pages will it have, but whatev

something that was going to be a one-shot is now two chapters that i'm writting simultansly becaUSE I FEEL LIKE IT, but this collection has self-contained stories so it only gets updated when i have an idea that fits. in any case its thief kay and kayworth propaganda

a kristahlia fic i haven't started lol, i'll see what i can do bout it

i also have a pre-relationship kayworth i did on a physical notebook, i should finish it ngl~~

AND MY MAGNUS OPUS. A Narumayo/Mitsumiku Royal AU fic. i dont know how many chapters or how the hell imma write it cause, what do i do? a fic? a script? a comic? an sometimes illustrated book? ALL OF THEM? idk, im definitely eating more than i can chew with this one but i'll work it out. i know how everything goes, but i feel like i should write the end first and every piece will fall to its place. as always~~

so yeap! busy girl i am! so many things done and so much left to do... kinda feel bad for ""abandoning"" my ao3 account but some ppl have abandonded for much longer or are less organized with their fic writing so i don't feel as bad ^^. it's not a big deal tho, im happy for all what i've donde so far

and now i wanna take a moment to talk about all the people who complained to hell and back about kayworth existing before i started making content. because bitches talk like shit was EVERYWHERE AND COMPLETELY UNAVOIDABLE and like.......... that's not the case? like yeah i can find kayworth when i look for it but it's not shoved in my face ejem other ships...... not to mention that i've scrapped the end of the barrel that is kw content, translating jp fics with google and, you can imagine how well that goes lmao

in any case, now ppl are complaining about me, specifically! that's so cool and epic!!jskajskskdjskd cheers to your love, your hate and more years to come~~!

[septembersghost]

Why do you think justin isn't comparable to harry? I am not American or English and I only recently got into popculture(mostly because of harry and Taylor). I haven't listened to songs from him. But he seems like a big deal. You don't have to post it if you don't want to though. Or you can tell me personally. Or you don't have to say at all unless you are like 100% sure

hi anon! i...don't know entirely how to answer this without a certain amount of judgment towards him in a way i don't like to post? lol. he is undeniably a big deal, that's definitely not up for debate and not really what i meant. he is just a very different kind of an artist in a lot of respects. he's also done some things that i don't personally like, some of which may be subjective (though i do feel sympathy for his health struggles). he's also very close to/complicit with the person who has caused such intense problems for taylor (his manager), and who continues to say mind-boggling things in the press, there's reason to believe said person planted negative stories about selena, it's a whole ordeal. i don't feel there's a comparison between the music and craft that exists there, but his fans would feel completely differently and i acknowledge that. tbh i would leave that up to anyone to make up their own mind about!

"I am not American or English and I only recently got into pop culture (mostly because of harry and Taylor)." also i want to point this out only to welcome you and say i am SO glad to have you here, and very happy that their music has brought you enjoyment! i'm sure it's daunting to try and catch up on things - and i promise you don't have to, you are enough of a fan however you want to participate. trust me, there are pop culture things i wish i didn't know. engage in whatever you want and have fun! i'll always try to help if i can and there's anything you'd like to ask, you can drop in anytime 💕

[shinxeysartgallery]

I hope this doesn't come off as rude but since you've adopted at least two characters that aren't yours what exactly is the point of adopting them when you can just make them yourself since you're an artist? I've never really understood the concept of adopts...

Honestly, I didn't really understand it either until I participated in it myself for the first time. lol I didn't get why people would spend a ton of time making up a character, only to throw them out later, or understand why people would make characters solely to sell them, but now I get it. Sometimes people just lose connection with characters they once loved and want to see them go to better homes that will love them as much as they once did. Maybe they went through a traumatic experience relating to that character and want to get rid of them because the character reminds them of their trauma too much. And other people just need money, feel like they have too many characters/are overwhelmed by the amount they have and want to pare down, want something they deem as better in exchange, or simply just want to do something to make others happy!

I released my first set of adopts back in mid-January because I wanted to try it and see what the big deal about it was. I tend to get super attached to my designs to the point I'd feel guilty about trading them away, so I wasn't sure if I'd be able to actually go through with it. But after doing it? Yeah, I think I kinda like it. :) I get neat art of my beloved OCs (or whatever else you exchanged) and you get a new baby that you love! Everyone wins! Still not trading any of my existing characters (or the ones I have adopted) because I love them all too much and 100% would feel guilty about giving them up, but definitely see the appeal of making new ones for the purpose of selling/trading now!

And then for me being the one doing the adoption, I honestly don't make offers on characters all that often. I only put in offers for characters who I know I will use if their current owner were to ever accept my offer (including with freebies). I'd feel bad about taking characters I know I won't use or am unsure if I'll use and then just letting them sit and rot in my account forever (or re-trading them immediately). I figure if other people want to get rid of these guys for whatever reason, and I can provide them with a home and a purpose, why not? It helps out the owner in purging their unwanted characters (potentially even gives them something they really want in exchange as well), and I get a new baby to play with. Another case of everyone winning! Sure, I could just make them myself if I really wanted to, but regardless of if I adopt them or make them, I'm gonna want to draw them at least once, so the same amount of effort regarding that goes into it. So I figure, if I've got an idea for what I could do with a character you're trying to get rid of, why not help both of us? You have one less character to try to get rid of, and I get to skip a whole step of the creation process and just draw them as they are. Plus, if it's a trade, you could also be getting something you really want in addition to lightening your purge box. What's so wrong about that?

Also shameless plug to check out my adopts, while we're on the subject. lmao Got some new ones added just this morning. :) (https://toyhou.se/Shinxey/characters/folder:5185911)

[safyresky]

Real talk, is ao3 better? Should I remove my story from ffnet and post it on ao3 instead to get better traction?

Honestly, it's really hard to say! I certainly don't have a definitive answer for you. Personally I think the whole ao3/ff dot net situation is very much up to each user's personal preferences, so I'll share my thoughts and maybe that'll help you make a decision that you're happy with?

I will say, that though I am crossposting, I am NOT going to be taking down my stories from ff dot net. Unless I make them original work and then have to bc LEGALITIES or whatever, lol.

See, the thing is people do still use ff dot net! And a lot of stories exist there that don't exist on ao3! And a lot of people don't use ao3! That's why I keep mine up there and have been updating on both platforms as best as I can :)

In terms of which is BETTER, that all depends on user experience, lol. For posting, I'm finding that I really like ao3! I'm a HUGE FAN of how the update interface works--the separation of Notes from the actual text, the tagging system, and how easy it is to pop in and edit post-posting a new fic/chapter/whatever :)

For reading, while ao3 is easier on the eyes and has 0 ads, I have a very hard time dealing with the huge amount of filters. ESPECIALLY since the sections for media also include the crossovers. I like the ff dot net separates the crossovers from the regular non-crossover fic automatically!

Of course, this is a LITTLE pet peeve of mine lol and the first thing I do in any category when searching for fic is filter OUT crossovers, and then the more intense M rated tag-esque stuff that I personally am not a fan of (though some people do like that and that's a-okay! What's gr8 about ao3 is that there's no like, ban on what you can write. It's not censored, that's the word I'm looking for! Another pro to ao3 if you wanna write some nitty-gritty angst or dark fic or what have you). Quite frankly, the amount of tags and filters going on is gr8 for stories and curating your reading experience! Lots of text just hurts my eyes, but I've been adjusting!

In terms of traction, ao3 may have a better platform for a wider audience. For starters, their stats aren't broken right now, so that's a pro! ff dot nets legacy stats are broken, so hits haven't been showing up, though comments and updates are coming through--just not the e-mails if you've opted out. Which they automatically do now bc of a gnarly spam problem the last few years. And the comment system is a lot more robust than ff dot net's PM replies and the like.

Overall, ao3 is easier to use and offers more in terms of categorizing your fics! I'd recommend posting to ao3 100% :). I know that my older fics won't get as many numbers as they did on ff dot net and that's okay! i keep them up on there for those that prefer it still over ao3, and for me to go back and see the reviews and the like.

If you do decide to take everything down from ff dot net, save save save! Backup the stories you have, download them, and take snapshots of any reviews you like, bc once they're gone, they're gone, and idk about you, but I LOVE going back and reading the reviews I have over on ff dot net!

tl;dr: both sites have their merits; ao3 has way more staff, and more opportunities for engagement, as well as easier layouts for posting and commenting. FF dot net isn't going anywhere, but has a much smaller staff and has changed some things about notifications, so definitely double check your e-mail settings. If you take stuff down from ff dot net, save your work first! And any reviews you're fond of, too!

But overall, deffs try ao3 before jumping ship. It may not work for everyone; I avoided it for YEARS bc it was hard for me to get used to and it has been a VERY slow crawl for myself in learning how it works, but BOY is it hella customizable and easy to use and I like it!!!

[morganee]

hi :) how are you?

Thank you so much for your reply. Makes me so happy you taking time to reply my dumb questions. About the Karen's second chapter? I'm so excited!!! But no pressure, do it only if you feel it. I am very well with your answer.

I wanted to do this before, but my week was crazy as hell. Anyway I read the fic that you post yesterday, and the last one about Mike playing Romeo? I do not know many words in english to tell you how much I enjoy every fic you post, u know? That's made me very very anxious because I wanna express it. But I hope you have an idea how I feel with this messages lol

Now under the limelight? I read it at the second you posted but I think could be kinda creepy if I come here too soon only for being a proper fan of your work (also yes, this week was pretty busy to me too, that was an 70/30 of the reasons why I didn't write this before). All the plot about Will a little bit jealous... I love it because I love that trope so much. Jealous plus trying so hard be happy for the love of your life? It's everything, love it love it love it.

so, *drums please*

uncle will? uncle mike? I didn't know how much I wanted until you give me that. Was fluffy, gorgeous (very quickly to read, sadly) and make me laugh in the right places because I think your obsession with cups is so cute. How much you have? I don't have any collection 🥺 I'm a boring person.

hope u have a wonderful week 🥰

-your hearstopper anon 😌

HIIII! It's so good to hear from you again :') and your questions are not dumb!! Please, keep asking me things <3 or even just tell me things if you want to, I'm here for whatever you want to talk about :D

I just started outlining the chapter for Karen's talk 👀 I woke up with the idea in my mind and thought "well, I guess I could start it!". Again, I can't promise you it will be up shortly but hopefully it won't take me too long. I don't think it's going to be a long chapter but then again, when I tried to write a 2k one shot it turned into a 9k one shot so yeah, we'll see 😂

And don't worry about writing to me just now (also, sorry it took me two days to answer!). I'm so happy you liked my other fics too!! And if you want to, you can tell me in your own language and then I'll google-translate it 😂 I know how hard it is to express yourself in another language! But I think I understand how you feel <3

Nooo I wouldn't think you're a creep!! You can come here whenever you want, it's totally okay, I promise you! But only when you have time, I know life can be busy ahah Jealous Will was fun to write and I have to say I don't often read about it? Like I usually look for fics where Mike is jealous but now that I think about it, I don't think I've read that many fics with a jealous Will! I can keep this in mind for my future fics 👀

asdfghjkl I'm so glad you liked my uncle Will/Mike fic! It was quick to read??? And here I thought it was again too long lol I will stop asking myself if 9k fics are too long. You are definitely not a boring person! Each one of us has its own thing and I just happen to collect mugs lol I'm sure you have other very interesting traits that I don't have! And to answer your question, I have probably something like 16 mugs and that's still too few for me! I still live with my parents and they just can't deal with me anymore lol I had to tell my friends to stop gifting me mugs because our cupboard is full ahah but one day, when I'll move out, I will have two cupboards at least just for mugs! Yeah, I'm that obsessed but I just like to take mugs from places I visit :')

Well, this was long, sorry! But I love to talk with you so much, so thank you for this ask!

Hope you're having a fantastic weekend!!! Sending you lots of love 💛

[chelleztjs18]

Hello you 😌

I usually wake up around 5 am or 6am. Then nap and wake up again around 10ish to start work at 11 am.

hahahaha fine I'll be the right eyebag 🤣

It didn't end badly, maybe had some up and downs with my mental health, but hey I am still here yknow. We still keep in contact because the cats are our babies, so we have visitation lol kidding, we remained friends after. I think we are better now as friends, even though we've been together for almost 10 years, I think we rushed into it. Sorry for rambling.

I haven't read all of your oneshots yet. I think I've read 3 or 4 of your oneshots, then 1 or 2 of the series I am following. I made a note though to go back to your masterlist to read everything. I follow a lot of writers and bookmarked everyone's pages to remind me what to read hahaha

Wow thats a crazy story. Definitely understand that whole same sex thing not being accepted in your country. A lot of queer people are afraid to be out and about because it's frowned upon. That's tough to hear that you went through all that though. Love really does make us do stupid crazy things for the other person. Do you regret it?

Also, it is sad that she became toxic towards you at the end. So right now, you guys still talk? Does she still show toxic behavior or just being "nice" and treat you as a friend now?

I'm really not sure about my first love. I'd like to think it was the person I married but then again, there was someone before her that had my heart even though I didn't tell her that I like her.

Tell me a childhood memory that you always enjoy thinking about. Did you have a favorite toy or game?

- CuriousGeorge

Oh wow, thats early.. well my daughter sometimes wakes me up at 7am or 8 is the latest. So ur work time always at the same time? Or it's whatever time u want to start?

Haha yay! Deal, u r the right n im the left.lol.

Ah i see,, aw im so sorry that it effected ur mental health. I hope u r okay n better now? Im here for u if u need someone to talk with. 😊 10 years is a long time for a relationship.. But it's good that now u remain friends with her n even share custody of the cats 😊 as long ad u r happy thats what matters most.

Yeah it was hard. I met her in 2010 so it was like 12 years ago so it has passed time n im okay with it. I hv moved on but it seems that she hasnt. But i know for sure no matter what she does, i wont take her back.

At one point i kinda regret it, i wish i didnt know her but if i didnt meet her i wont know for sure that i'm into women n i wont experience a relationship or dating a woman. She still a nice person she is just lost n unhappy. I actually feel bad for her but she didnt listen to me.

She acts nicer now even sometimes she likes to brought up old memories with me.

Aaaww u never told ur first love? Was it like in young age? Wait, so u were married before?

I dont really rememver my childhood that well, i just remember bits n pieces. I remember i love my video game consoles i had through out the years. Haha. What about u?

Next question?

Cheerio!

[asksep]

Hello again!! I'm honestly surprised marcias never broken an ankle but I guess willpower can do wonders (or maybe she has had broken ankles and just ignored them, she certainly seems the type. Not that I'm one to judge if she has, I once broke an ankle at school and then went about my day and walked home lol), rip milo's finger though :(

Send spit fyre my love please, I'm sure he's hell to deal with but damn if everything I hear about him doesn't make him more endearing

No, I haven't named the cactus, I have a habit of accidentally killing plants within the first week I get them so I wait a week to name them so I don't get too attached :( we'll see if it makes it to monday and then perhaps I'll choose a name

I don't have a favourite kind of chocolate, I barely even like chocolate at all lol its just easy to hide in a pocket without getting caught haha

And now I have a question! You reblogged the post about wizard robes/lab coats and while obviously thats a joke, do wizards ever need to wear safety equipment? And if yes, what for, what kind and are there people who just don't bother or are far too lax about it?

Hello, happy weekend! Willpower is an amazing thing, can't believe you walked a day on a broken ankle though omg 😬

I told spit fyre and I saw his ego inflate in front of my eyes. He spent the morning trotting about looking dead pleased with himself so I think you've got a new friend😊

Oof good look, hopefully it will survive🤞

Understandable, I have a massive sweet tooth so I do love chocolate but given the choice I'd always go for sweets over chocolate

And ooh so there are a few different ways we look after ourselves if needed and there are different levels of protection. We also have a Wizard Tower Safety Committee supposedly to make sure everyone sticks to safety rules but I think they just enjoy doing the paperwork? We have risk assessments and proposals that we have to submit to them before doing any projects.

In terms of safety equipment the most basic one is actually our cloaks. It won't do much for anything physical or properly harmful but it can take the edge off any residual magyk flying around. Think along the lines of a low level SafeCharm

The next one is a SafeCharm which is probably the most common and versatile way of doing things. You pick and choose the charm depending on whether what you're doing could result in harm from physical objects flying about/physical harm from the spell/contact with the darke/permant changes due to the spell etc. For most stuff a personal charm works well (especially if they're passive so you don't have to keep up two spells at once) but for the more dangerous stuff we tend to work in pairs with one person keeping a SafeShield around whoever is doing the spell. The WTSC also has a rule against lone working so for anything practical you're supposed to have somebody else around in case something goes wrong.

After that we tend to pick and choose whatever is relevant to the specific spell we're doing. Some higher magyk or ancient charms get incredibly hot/cold when used so you might need gloves, some Charms can get explodey if you cast them wrong so you might need glasses to protect your eyes or some physical barrier to stand behind.

There's definitely a mix of attitudes towards safety measures, some go unnecessarily far and some don't bother (and are then shocked when they end up in the sick bay). Am not gonna lie though marcia and I are simultaneously the best and worst for safety stuff. We tend to be way too lax with the lower level stuff because at this point it's pretty unlikely to go wrong - or if it does we can deal with it relatively easily. For the higher magyk stuff we're much more careful though because a) if it goes wrong it goes wrong much more spectacularly and b) we're the ones that respond to spells going spectacularly wrong so something taking both of us out is Bad

I do think the WTSC enjoys pissing people off though, they seem to latch onto the most irrelevant things

[seelestia]

YES I AM HERE sorry i've been running around like a headless chicken these past few days hsdfhjhdf and yep... you know, the shadow realm almost feels like home now, i loooove it when they most-definitely-not-forcefully shove me in here /s oh yeah, i've submitted a ticket again, but so far no replies yet, as per usual! 🙃

speaking about voicelines, i'm curious to know - which version of ayato do you prefer? cn? en? jp? owo

i doooo ;;; lmao it's ok there's a lot of edible things outside yk like grass and stuff- /j my god yes if there was a choice between "always winning your 50/50" and "having unlimited resources (except primos) in genshin" i would choose the former so fast-

very very true. i actually wanted kokomi too, she's so cute and her movement sets are super pretty.... but i want the other characters more atp hsdfhjsd i'm sorry mermaid princess i'll get you eventually!!!!

oh gosh i wonder.... hmmm... i mean, last time i reblogged an ask game, some people told me i give off the same energy as lisa lol irl-wise i think i give off kujou sara vibes - closed-off, serious, and stern, but tbh with my close friends i act like how i act online! maybe thoma but not that much hardworking and a lot less talent in housework hahah

many thanks i have signed it and submitted it to the uh- whatever government equivalent in teyvat that takes care of that- AND I READ HIS PROFILE AND I AM SO SOFT NOW HE IS ADORABLE

hehe i shall bring presents in the shape of fun stories and shenanigans that happened afterward~

istg, tumblr 😭 but you're on your vacay rn, so let's forget about the existence of the shadow realm momentarily, shall we? i don't want tumblr's shadow jail distracting my cousin from her vacay >:( and hopefully, they'll send you a reply by the end of the trip! trying my best to keep my hopes up for the both of us 🤞

rin jie, the way i already listened to his voicelines in all languages before you even asked me 🚶(how am i doing well the down bad scale, idk... but i know you can relate to this, so we both can't speak for ourselves /j) each va did such a good job in their language but i recall having my jaw sink to the bottom of the earth when i heard his korean version. vv elegant but also clear/authorative at the same time <3 fun fact: korean is my third language, so maybe the familiarity also helped a bit! (i liked the cn version too tho! zhao lu's take on ayato's voice is vv light and elegant <3) but wbu??? which voice-over language do you prefer, rin jie? 👀

trueee, the "(except primos)" on the latter was the deal breaker LOLLL <//3 i'm happy that at least, itto treated you right on the 50/50 (the man wants you to conserve your sacred elemental burst, how sweet /j) 🤧 speaking of, the v3.1 update is today! since i'm on 50+ pity and on the 50/50 rn, i'm gonna use my pulling strategy that i told you about~ i need venti for easier runs in the abyss, but if i like cyno's playstyle more, then i'll set my eyes on the general mahamatra 🤫 good luck saving up on primos this patch, rin jie >:)

if i were to put it, you're vv friendly but you can be assertive (and savage, hehe) when needed! smth about imagining you as kujou sara makes me want to pat your head??? but the irony of me being shorter, helpppp. legs, come on and grow taller than rin jie and xiao already 🤨 (/lh)

TYYY !! lin is but a soft man who needs headpats, so those are exactly what we shall provide <//3 i'm kinda excited to write his voicelines because through them is where we truly get to know a character >:) not just about his backstory and views on the other characters like the archons but also what an awkward he is sometimes 😭 so, i'm glad you think he is adorable <3 his gameplay talents make him out to be a good hydro applicator and support! i'm still working on his talents but he does increase the team's energy recharge so you can spam ult with him on your team ;D tysm for showing interest in him, i'm crying, ueueuue 🫂 also, i've told you this before but if you ever make a genshin oc, i will also go feral. (/hj)

[orcelito]

So despite being told that I need several weeks notice to dependably get time off work, my dad didn't loop me into the conversation about when the canoe trip would happen, so I only got confirmation Yesterday that it's happening this Saturday, & I have a shift this Saturday that for several reasons I wont be able to find someone to cover

& so I'm gonna have to miss the canoe trip (again). Trying to not be angry, but I very definitely am unhappy.

[theaveragepsychoticbitch]

Hello! I saw you request box is open so I wanted to request some fluffy headcanons for Buddha with his s/o? I recently discovered your blog and I am a fan now!

Oooh, I've never done headcanons before- great chance to analyze his character though, so thanks<3 I'll also go ahead and note that Reader is always human unless specified otherwise while we're here

GN!Reader x Buddha, SFW:) makeouts are mentioned and nsfw activities referenced once though!

I'm gonna start this off extremely basic but ONLY because it's undeniably true argue with a wall: He shares his candy with you 💕

He's a cheeky bastard, the type to kiss you and slide candy- usually your favorite -into your mouth, then smile all innocent like

The day he learned about the Pocky challenge he brought a dozen boxes

Naturally, by the end of it his taste would be stuck in your mouth permanently, the feeling of his tongue lingering long after you'd stopped

He'd definitely take you on trips with him. He loves to travel and experience the wonders of human society- and he thinks you're cute when you're smiling because you think he's cute🥰

Romantic dates in cities you've never even heard of before. He'd always do the "appetizer" part of the date taking you to popular places in whatever town or city or country you've found yourselves in, and always ended the night with a "main course"- some intimate one on one time in a quiet place he found while exploring. Whether "one on one" is explicit or just enjoying the others presence, it's always a great time

That bunny shirt he refuses to take off??? Yeah, you're getting that.

He loves loves loves to see you wearing any of his clothes, but seeing you wear that shirt in particular drives the man(god?) absolutely insane. You're starting to wonder if you even need your own wardrobe anymore.

When you aren't wearing his clothes, he'll pout and stare at you like some kicked puppy, maybe even beg on a particularly needy day

Do I even need to say this? He's extremely protective of you- not overbearingly so, but he's firm in his actions and won't hesitate to swoop in in full prince charming mode, doing whatever to keep you safe and happy.

It runs so much deeper than his love for humans- not only are you human, you're his human, his beloved human, his one and only. Harm to you is as much so harm to him. And nobody harms The Great Buddha himself.

Finally, his hair.

It's so long and luscious, unexpectedly well taken care of one might say. Around the time when he first started to truly fall for you, you'd started getting more comfortable around each other, taking baths together now.

You'd run your hands through his hair, slow, gentle, and so damn relaxing. Before either of you knew it, he was sleeping peacefully as you gently washed his hair, combing through every last strand, untangling every knot, washing away all the grime of the day.

Whenever he's stressed, he comes to you and lets you work your magic now❤️

-------------

A/N: This was unexpectedly easy to write! I think Buddha's a very romantic lover, while being a bratty ass at the same time. I've got so many cute thoughts running through my head now lol, thanks for that anon.

Blazy blah comments appreciated encouraged blahhhhh mistakes y'all know the deal. Goodbye, thanks for reading!

Also I didn't proofread this SO

[matsuokaparadise]

Birthday Present

Genre: slice of life, slight angst, mainly fluff, oneshot

Summary: you and Rin had been "separated" for a while, but you decide to send him a birthday message to break the months long silence and you find out that the feelings you thought had died had in fact just kept themselves hidden...

Heyheyhey sweethearts, guess who's back! I'm not even going to try to explain why I've been absent for literal ages (I'm kind of lazy lol), but I hope you guys will forgive me - here's a cute lil birthday fic because I cannot forget my favourite boy's 02/02... I hope you enjoy!

Also, in case you guys want a part 2... you know what to do;) It's gonna be all about that steamy romance...

it's been a while since you and your ex boyfriend hadn't talked - you never really did break up per se, but the distance between the two of you had been growing larger and colder, to the point where you easily could have considered yourself single

the hectic life the two of you were living: you, with your impossible degree, him, with his impossible training routine, prevented either of you from thinking things trough too much

the busy life was essentially leaving no space for any doubts, nostalgia or sadness to sink in - everything was simply taken at face value, accepted, never once dwelled upon

nevertheless, although Rin felt like a distant memory, he somehow seemed a permanent figure in your life; at the back of your head, you were convinced that, if you were to get in touch and hang out, nothing will have changed

We could always pick things up again when things get better - it doesn't seem like he's seeing anyone anyway, and it's been ages already... I'm sure that he doesn't want to look for someone else

things never did get better, yet you could not resist the urge to pick up the phone once the date 02/02 appeared on your calendar

I had completely forgotten that it's his birthday... I should definitely text him, it'd be rude if I didn't, right...? Or rather... would it be weird if I did?

hesitating, you opened the chat window and pasted the message you had been carefully crafting for the past 45 minutes: you had decided on "Happy birthday~ Hope u didn't work too hard today!"

That should do it, I don't want to seem too cold but also not too serious... Or is this going to look too desperate?

after a good 10 minutes of pasting and deleting, you eventually made up your mind, and pressed enter

Ugh, fuck this, I'm just being polite, what the hell am I being all nervous about anyway?

you tried to play it cool, yet you still turned off notifications from his chat - you were, for one reason or another, dreading his response

Y/n, get a goddamn grip... you scolded yourself, upon checking if he had seen your message for the 600th time

eventually, you grew tired of being anxious over such a "trivial" matter, and decided to occupy your time with work, then go straight to sleep, notifications off

He's probably celebrating, he's obviously not gonna be checking his messages when he's with his family, he barely sees them anyway...

after not so good a night's sleep, you wake up much too early - so much so that the sun was still not yet up

you sighed at the realisation that you instantly felt a knot in your stomach, and decided to get up right away to make some coffee and breakfast - clearly, the hunger was the one to blame for the racing pulse as well...

anyhow, you set off to make some breakfast (which you almost burn to ashes because you were constantly spacing out) and then decide to finally check your phone

Matsuoka Rin 1:20 "Thanks, this time I ac..."

Fuck, he replied already - damn you y/n for turning off notifications, now you actually have to open the chat to be able to see the whole message!! you facepalmed yourself, regretting your lack of foresight

Ah, whatever, you know what, not a big deal, I'll just open it and-

*buzz*

just as you plucked up the courage to tap on the chat, a new message immediately pops up

R: "How have you been lately? It's been a while"

typing...

R: "Ah, shit, that was kind of awkward, sorry for double texting 6h later lol"

AAAAH fuck my life, now I have to reply on the spot or it's gonna look weird; what kind of damn timing is this?!

Y: "Hahaha, no, no, not at all"

Y: "Yeah, it's really been a while"

Y: "Tbh not any different, uni is kinda killing me as per usual"

Y: "You?"

I couldn't have made this more stiff if I tried... tsk

typing...

R: "Been alright, trainings and all that"

R: "Thinking of whether I wanna go to grad or not for now"

What the hell do I respond to this? Do I just go like oh, I see.. Do I seem involved and keep the conversation going? I never should have texted him, this is pissi-

*buzz*

R: "Look, actually, I'd been meaning to text you today too"

R: "So I'll cut the crap"

Huh?

R: "Recently you keep popping up"

R: "But yesterday you even made an appearance in my dream"

R: "Which is weird, I never really dream people I know"

R: "But yeah, I guess what I'm tryna say is"

R: "I felt like talking to you"

What is he even saying... What the hell does this mean!!! What am I supposed to understand from this can you just be clearer for fuck's sake asdadjfhjkdsfhjk

you were pacing around the room, frustrated. You didn't even pay any mind to the fact that you were supposed to respond on the spot

Wait

you stop abruptly

What do I want to understand from this?

you stand there for a while, thousands of thoughts enveloping your mind and rushing in front of your eyes

at one point, your expression changed from one of frustration to one of serious determination

you quietly pick up the phone and start typing

Y: "Are you free to talk"

Y: "I mean, like, talk talk"

Y: "I think I realised sth, and I'd wanna talk about it properly"

you swallow loudly as you send that last message

Fuck it, I just have to go for it, otherwise it's gonna sit at the back of my head for ages and it's only gonna piss me off

R: "sure, when are u free"

R: "If u want, we could do later today, training is off this afternoon"

Y: "Works"

Y: "Do you mind if we do either of our places"

Y: "I don't wanna have this conv in public"

R: "yeah, no problem, I can come over to yours so you don't have to walk back when it's dark?"

Y: "Thanks, I'll see you at like 5 then?"

R: "yeah, see you then"

you dropped your phone on the bed, as if it were carrying the entire weight that was on your shoulders

you fell face down on the pillow, taking a while to process the developments

What the HELL is this

He's coming the fuck O V E R

What the hell was I thinking, what am I even gonna tell him? Hey, nice seeing you, actually, you know, I realised I'm still in love with you??

AS IF

Hey, Google, how do i fake a broken leg in less than-

Ah, fuck this nevermind nevermind

Whatever! I'll just do this and whatever happens happens

I'm going to get it over and done with - we talk, I get things off my chest, he tells me we should break it off for good so we can both move on, and I get him off my mind for good!

And I won't have to remember how I would wake up next to him, or how cute he was whenever I tickled him, or how he'd get serious and look me in the eye and tell me I'm the only one he's ever truly been in love with, and-

Wait - fuck

What... what is this

Nononono, y/n, this is not the time

Wipe your damn tears off your face or you are done for- you know that if you cry you never stop

every time you'd dry your tears and calm yourself down, your peace would be short lived, as new memories entered your mind

before you knew it, it was dangerously close to the time of the "reunion", and you still hadn't managed to stabilise your emotions fully

suddenly, the seriousness of the situation hits you: you become aware of what sort of conversation you are actually supposed to have, and its implications

Whether or not Rin stays in my life...weighs on this afternoon

before you had the time to internalise this newly acquired realisation, the intercom rang

Fuck, get it together y/n, you need to keep this nice and professional, there's no need for emotional outbursts

Just take a deep brea-

*di-ing*

your breath got stuck in your throat, had you really managed to pull it all together?

but there was really no time left for you to ponder this, or anything at all for that matter

you decided to give in to the adrenaline that had taken over you

Ok, this has to be done

you straighten up your face and open the door

"Hey, sorry, just realised the kitchen was in a bit of a mess haha... Come in!" you plastered on the most convincing fake smile you could muster up

"Hey, don't worry about it," he greeted you with a polite expression of his own. "Thanks"

"I have some tea if you want? Also.. um... orange juice? A coffee? Just let me know"

you didn't really know how the conversation would begin - would either of them have to initiate it right away? Did they have to make awkward small talk for a while and hope that a right time for a transition would come?

"Thanks, but I'm alright for now"

"Ah, sure, let me know if you change your mind," was the best response you could conjure up then

not really knowing what to do with yourself, you sat down on the chair opposite to him, and moved some of the books that were on the coffee table a bit more to the side

neither one of you said a word during this time

Maybe I should just ask him what's up or something? What do I even start off with?

"Hey, y/n?"

you looked up at him, surprised. The chain of thought that you had had was broken, a knot forming in your chest

"You finally looked at me," he smiled. But, for some reason, it seemed rather bitter. No- not bitter, but perhaps, self deprecating.

you swallowed again, nerves building up with every passing moment

"I understand it if you're mad at me for dropping this on you out of the blue but I-"

"I'm not mad!" you interrupted him, your voice strained

Rin's eyes widened slightly at your reaction, and your cheeks grew hot at the realisation

"I'm not-I'm not mad at all, ok? Why would I be? I was the one who reached out anyway" you cleared your throat and straightened your back

"I'm just kind of quiet because I don't really know what to say... I mean, it's been a while and this was so out of the blue and everything"

"You really haven't changed," he chuckled sweetly. "But, I'm the same, I guess" he sighed. "It doesn't even feel like it's been that long though, don't you think? It does and it does not at the same time" he pouted. Why on earth would he pout at a time like this? How were his reactions so natural? You were surprised at the familiarity of the whole scene. You had expected to either see a stranger, or have your heart completely wrecked by the overwhelming amalgamation of memories and feelings flooding you. Instead, all you see is the same focused eyes, charming smile and relaxed manner of a person you had fallen in love with and cherished with your entire being.

"How did this happen?" you found yourself blurting out, as the feelings you had been holding back subtly began making their way back into your heart.

"I mean- how did... How did we even get so... far from the other?" you chuckled nervously and added: "It's not like anything happened, right? I swear, only we could have ended up being such dumbasses, hahaha," you tried to play off the nerves that were beginning to get the best out of you.

God I sound so stupid, but if I don't joke around I'm fucked, I can't make a scene here

"Yeah... it really was dumb, wasn't it?" again, that self-deprecating smile. You felt your heart being squeezed painfully tight - if only I could hug him better... You caught yourself thinking despite yourself

*sigh*

your attention was yet again shifted to the man in front of you

"That's better; you know, I really don't like it when you aren't looking at me, I really can't tell what you're thinking," he pouted again, jokingly. Your heart did a double take, and you curled your hands into fists - why the hell is he being so adorable?

"Look, um... So, actually... I was really thinking about this and... I - I think I never fully realised how important this whole ... thing we had ... was for me," he confessed, rather awkwardly. "I guess it only hit me when I found my thoughts trailing back to you constantly... but every time, I just somehow took for granted that even if we're not talking now that things aren't really over, you know? It's stupid, I'm awa-"

"...too," you mumbled, shyly.

to this, Rin gave you a confused look

"Huh?"

"I said, I said that I felt like that too - the taking for granted part, it was the same for me... I thought I wasn't bothered that you weren't in my life anymore, but that wasn't the case at all... I wasn't really bothered because I never really actually thought I'd lost you"

The knot in your throat was making it more difficult for you to breathe, and only made you acutely aware of how hard you were attempting to contain your feelings

"But now..." your voice cracked. "I'm so relieved to see you, to talk to you and to feel so at ease in your presence... I don't..." you felt your resolve wavering. Maybe you did want to let your tears fall and open your heart entirely to him. The fear that had accumulated in the pit of your stomach was pushing you to do everything it took - you knew you couldn't be able to take it if he left again.

"I don't... want to lose you again..." you hardly enunciated, your voice strained, your eyes stuck to the floor.

Rin had been watching you in awe the entire time. He was unsure whether he should be confused, surprised, happy or annoyed, but his gaze on you held a certain tenderness, untouched by the plethora of emotions going through his head.

"Y/n, look at me," his serious tone almost made your heart stop. Feeling tears, your eyes darted in every other direction, trying to avert them from falling.

"If you'd looked at me, you'd have noticed that you and I are both in the same boat" he chuckled. "You're not the only one worked up over this. Seeing you today... and especially hearing what you had to say..." he stopped, trying to find his next words. "Sigh... God, I must have been insane to cast you aside like that- who does such a thing to someone who makes their heart do the things mine is doing right now?" His gaze took on an intense air.

"Y/n, let's start again."

[liltaz-asatreat]

YES YES YES I WAS WAITING FOR YOU TO REBLOG IT :DDD

Obviously I gotta ask about Lucretia and then Julia and I'm also gonna ask about amber :>

:DDDD

You can find the ask game here!

So for Lucretia:

I almost put deeper than she seems top, but then I thought about it, and in the podcast, while we don't see a lot of her at all, including the Stolen Century, she's still portrayed as a very deep character obviously with everything she's got going on and that she did lol

And honestly, the reason why I would be afraid of her is because, upon first meeting her, I would definitely be intimidated because I'm always intimidated by people I see as authority figures no matter what context it is or how I meet them, and I feel like on top of that, she would have a pretty intimidating aura post stolen century, and even through a lot of the latter years of the stolen century, particularly after cycle 65. And then once I'd get to know her or if I was in the balance universe and met her after Story and Song and heard the story, I would also be afraid of her because I see so much of myself in her (like now irl! Lol) and like, her whole deal and the decisions she made being a reminder of some parts of myself that I'm not too proud of and having her be a mirror as I think about what I would have done in her situation and wondering if there would be a reality in which I wouldn't do what she did even though I know it's wrong because of the thinking and behavioral patterns I constantly have to fight and sometimes fall back on without being in a apocalyptic situation 24/7 for countless years

How do you look someone in the eyes with the love you feel for them when they've deeply hurt the people they're closest too and countless others in the crossfire and being angry on the victims' behalf while also knowing that she was just doing her best and trying to mitigate the hurt they were already feeling and fix things the best way she knew how and tried her best to make them happy and safe while also knowing the aftermath and why it was wrong while also knowing that if put under the exact same circumstances having the exact same experiences, you would have done the same thing, so you have no room to judge?

How do you look at yourself after coming to that revelation?

Anyway, I just love her and am angry at her and hurt for her and have complicated feelings about her and myself and yeah *arm wiggles*

Definitely mentally I'll over her ghfkajflJxk

For Julia:

There's like, no information about her in canon, so while I do like the things about her that's stated in canon, most of everything has to come from head canon and fanon ghdlajflJsl

And honestly, I never really had much to say about her because like, no one basically knows anything about her, but now I'm like, writing this whole AU where I have to make stuff up about her based on the bare bones Travis gave, and it's gotten a lot easier to do that as time has gone on, but I feel like she's basically more of an OC at this point?? Which is fine I guess since she only showed up for 2 scenes, and Travis' main descriptor of her is that she made Magnus into a "good man" instead of a "good person", whatever the fuck that's supposed to mean fjslahflKcjal

But I love her and I desperately wish she had more screen time, both because I want to know more about her as an audience member because she seems cool and she and Magnus were happy together and they deserve the best and also because it would make my life as a fanfic writer so much easier!!! Lmao like, I worry about whether she's in character or not all of the time beyond my normal can't keep any character consist, but also like, there is virtually no canon to stick to which should be freeing but AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

For Amber:

I don't really have too much to say about her rn; I think that's mostly because it's been a while since I listened to Ethersea or thought about it and her all that much. But I did put a slash through they've never done anything wrong in their life because that's most of my feelings toward her, but I do feel like she was a little hard on Devo in the end there (though I can't really blame her for snapping just... when he just lost his mother figure? That's when she snapped? Really?) And I really wish they had been able to resolve that.

I also put a slash in they got done dirty by the fans because, while most of the posts I had seen about her during the last arc of the campaign were okay, there were a few that were harsh on her about her reactions to Devo and all the reasons why they hated her now when like, she had reason to be upset with him? I'm not saying that her being hard on him right after he lost Guidance was right, but Devo wasn't right in how he was treating people then and for the entirety of the podcast either tbh, and that argument and resulting tension for the rest of the season was a long time coming. And even though she was done with his bullshit, she still cared enough about him to go after him in the tower despite not wanting to and to make sure he was safe and even got to see the surface of another world before she dived head first into it.

Like, neither of them are perfect characters, far from it actually, and that's the point, and I think there were some people who were too harsh on both of them. Myself included at times tbh

Most of the other posts about her were fine though, so that's why it's only a slash lol

Thank you for sending this in!!! :D

[peanutpinet]

Lucas (mafia leader) x Reader (female)

A/N: I had this thought for days now and was like, ya know, just let it out. This is my first NCT (?) WayV (?) fanfic? Scenario? Yea XD For those who have read my past fanfics/scenarios, you know how horrible I am in explaining XD but yea, essentially I just imagine that you, the reader are a uni student whilst Lucas is part of the NCT mafia, "leader" of the WayV unit (I know Kun is technically the leader, but just for the sake of the story), okie, leggo

Sighing in defeat, you gathered all your books, stationery and some clothing before sneakily going out of your dorm and to your boyfriend's apartment since he gave you the spare key, saying that it was for emergencies or whenever you wanted to come over.

After texting Lucas that you were heading to his apartment, you went to grab a cab and head there. Truth be told, you never really went there and only got the address from Lucas. Which is why upon arriving, your jaw nearly dropped when you saw his apartment; even making sure whether the address Lucas gave last time was the exact one and making a mental note to yourself to look up things beforehand.

Upon arriving, you felt like you just came from the countryside to the big city. You went to the front desk and inform them who were you looking for, handing in your ID card and was immediately directed to the elevator, one of the securities pressing the highest floor of the elevator and left you in the elevator on your own.

Just when you thought that it couldn't get any fancier, the minute you stepped out of the elevator, you were amazed at the decor and the fact that there was only one door made it even grander. Taking out the key Lucas gave you, you were actually hoping that it wasn't the correct one and Lucas just sent you the wrong address but as it turns out, the key fits and you took a deep breath, walking into the room.

But on Lucas' side, he actually didn't receive your text message. So, the second he heard someone coming into his suite, he was already reaching for his gun because he wasn't really expecting anyone to come. But as soon as he heard your signature nervous voice, he felt relieved but worried at the same time. Did something happen to you?

"Lucas? Ar-are you in here? The people at the front desk just directed me here. I uh sent you a text" you called out

"I'm here sweetheart. Now, what brings you here at this late hour? Is there anyone I should be concern with?" Lucas stated, coming out of his bedroom

"Huh? Wow. I mean, no. Sorry, it's my first time here. I uh, I was just wondering if I could stay for the night. The dorm was so loud that I couldn't study nor sleep" you admitted, trying to avoid eye contact with Lucas, thinking that it was a lame excuse to come over

"Of course you can. I gave you the spare key for a reason, didn't I? Uh, sorry about the mess and all. I didn't expect you to come. I didn't receive any messages. C'mere sweetheart" Lucas mentioned, giving a hand motion for you to go to him

"Really?! I could've sworn I...(looks at your phone) I forgot to click the send button" you sighed, hitting your head as you went over to Lucas

"Hey, hey. Don't do that. You'll hurt your brain even more. No harm sweetheart. My place is yours. Come. I'll order some McDonalds as well if you'd like" Lucas cooed, bringing you into his office

"Damn. Two desktops?! Bro and this processor is the latest one?!" you commented, placing your bag down and immediately inspecting his desk

"Sometimes I play some games with the guys. Feel free to use it if you'd like. Lemon tea or coke?" Lucas asked, scrolling through his phone

"Lemon tea, no ice. It's worth the money better. Are you sure I can study here? Am I not disturbing you?" you questioned, sitting on the chair

"Not at all, sweetheart. It's almost 10pm. I'm done with work. You're free to use my computer. I've ordered your favourites already. I'm going to go for a shower for a bit. Feel free to turn on some music as well, alright? And please don't study for too long. I worry you'll hurt that gorgeous head of yours" Lucas chuckled, kissing your forehead before leaving you in his study room

After settling, putting on some music with your account (which was already in Lucas' Spotify), you grabbed your books and stationery then started to study for your finals. In the midst of it, you heard Lucas coming in with McDonalds; wearing a plain T-shirt and sweats.

Because there was only one chair in his office, with your consent, Lucas placed you on his lap as he was feeding you McDonalds whilst scrolling through his phone, occasionally leaning his head on your back as he does so.

After finishing the food, Lucas was about to get up and cleaned up so you could study a bit better since he knew you didn't like a messy space but when he felt your head slightly leaning backwards, he questioned whether you were already sleepy or not.

"What's wrong love? Tired?" Lucas murmured as he placed his chin on your neck, wrapping his long arms around your waist

"Huh? Oh? Sorry. I didn't realise I was leaning back" you yawned, scrubbing your eyes but Lucas stopped the motion

"Don't. Your eyes will get irritated. I think it's about time you sleep, hmm?" Lucas commented, tucking a hair behind your ear as he kissed the side of your cheek

"Hmm. I guess so" you sighed, leaning onto Lucas's chest

"Alright princess, let me just shut everything off. Kay, let's go to bed" Lucas chuckled, carrying your small figure in his arms and tucking you into his bed before going to the other side of the bed

The next morning, you were woken up by the sound of your phone's alarm but just stayed in bed whilst scrolling through your phone until you realised that you had exams that starts in 45 minutes. Immediately, you got up and went back to the study room to grab your clothes, without even calling out to Lucas and head to the bathroom to get ready.

After getting ready, you were so ready to rush out the door and call a cab until Lucas finally called out to you. Once you told him that your exam was starting in literally 15 minutes, he just chuckled and told you that he'll drive you there; which was a first since all this time, you guys just have dates near your campus since your dorm had strict rules and Lucas would just walk you there (A/N: how you guys met is a story for next time, lol).

After packing some food for you, Lucas grabbed his car keys in one hand and your hand in the other, making your way down to the parking lot where your jaw also almost dropped again since the car Lucas owned is probably enough to pay your whole entire undergraduate life.

Whilst in the car, Lucas told you to eat so you wouldn't be hungry during the exam. He also mentioned that he'll come to pick you up to celebrate finishing your finals since he knew that you've been stressing over this last final for weeks; saying that he'll treat you out.

Once you've arrived, Lucas pulled you to give a slight peck on your forehead, encouraging you to do well in your finals and that he'll see you right after you're done. You smiled and thank him. Getting out of the car, you saw nearly the whole campus that was by the front gate staring at you; even your friends were stunned before rushing to you, managing to get a glimpse at Lucas who just smiled before leaving.

"Gurl!! I knew your boyfriend was hot, but well off? You definitely hit the jackpot!!" one of your friends blurted

"Sis!! Can we save the conversation for later? I need to get this exam over with first" you bargained

"Okay, okay, good luck with your exams!! I'll see you later!!" your friend exclaimed as you went to your exam hall

Thankfully, the exam wasn't as hard as you'd thought. You didn't know if it's because Lucas actually helped you study since he actually knew the subject or something else but you were glad to finally be done with it. After the exam, you got a text from Lucas, saying that he'll be running a bit late which you didn't mind. Your friend, who was also done with her exam, came to your exam hall and didn't spare a second before plastering with all sorts of questions.

Asking you where you've been the night before since you weren't at your dorm; and when you told her you were at Lucas' place, she squealed, asking if you guys did anything spicy which you immediately cut her off, saying that you just went there to study because the rooms near yours were getting too loud and rowdy.

You also explained how kind and caring Lucas was; despite the amount of work he had to deal with, he was still soft when it came to you. Ordering your favourites from McDonalds, letting you just barged into his apartment whenever and even using whatever he had; hearing this, all your friend can do was just squeal, saying that Lucas was the perfect boyfriend.

And right on cue, Lucas texted you saying that he's almost at the front gate. Your friend saw your smile and teased the heck out of you before letting you off just because she supported your relationship; knowing that you had a rough past and it was nice to finally see you happy with someone; someone that genuinely cares about you.

But of course, life ain't that easy. Because just as you were skidding along the halls to the front gate, you accidentally bumped into someone and dropped your phone. You immediately apologised about to get your phone when the person you bumped into stepped on your phone. Looking up, you met with the campus' miss popular with her boyfriend.

"Can you please let go. I really have to go now" you sighed, looking up

"Can't your boyfriend get you another one? Oh wait, is he the one that you're meeting? Honestly, I dunno what he sees in you. Oh wait, I think I do. He's probably just in it to play around or probably did it because of a bet" the girl scoffed but you were just not having it and shoved her feet off, nearly falling if it weren't for her boyfriend being there

After getting your phone, you were about to make a run for it before she grabbed your hair, pulling you back and making you fall; calling you names and all. When you got back to your feet again, she nearly slapped you when you got ahold of her hand about to push her back when her boyfriend came and took your hand, twisting it behind your back, allowing an opening for her to get a good punch out of you.

It felt like forever since you were trapped between the two "bullies" of your campus and for Lucas, it meant something was wrong. It's been almost 30 minutes since he arrived and called you but there was no answer at all. Frustrated, he called Winwin to track your phone as he went in to find you; thinking that you were held captive by one of NCT's enemy.

When he did see you, he felt a slight relief that it wasn't one of NCT's enemy but he was still very much pissed at the sight. When the girl was about to hit you for like the 15th time, Lucas grabbed ahold of her arm, throwing her to the floor before looking at her boyfriend who turns out to be one of the bartenders in one of NCT's bars.

"B-boss..." the man stammered, letting go of your hand as you almost dropped if it weren't for Lucas catching you

"You better come to work tonight. We'll have a lil discussion about respect? Hmm? Make sure everyone comes. Or I'll just have to report Taeyong about this" Lucas growled, making the man cowered in fear

"N-no sir. Everyone will come tonight" the man stuttered as Lucas stood up, holding your figure firmly in his arms

"Good. Wouldn't want to make a big deal out of this hmm? Oh, and do bring your girlfriend while I take mine to treat the wounds you both caused" Lucas scoffed, bringing you out of the campus

Once you've reached his car, he gently placed you and put your seatbelt on before going to the driver's seat. Once he was in, he called Kun, telling him what happened and that he's planning to have a meeting later tonight in the bar. After the call, Lucas took your hand in his, stroking your knuckles as he drove back to his apartment.

Upon arriving, he helped you get out of the car and into his apartment. Inside, he brought you to his room before going to the bathroom and grabbing some medicine for your bruised face and cut on the lips. Lucas treated all your wounds as gently as possible, worrying that he might accidentally hurt you, treating you as if you're as fragile as an egg.

After he was done, he threw all the cotton buds and ordered some food for the both of you; knowing that you will tell him whenever you're ready. He put his hoodie onto you before bringing you to the living room to cuddle and just watch the whole day. Occasionally, food will come and it was all from your favourite restaurants.

After the next 5th Disney movie ended, you told Lucas that you wanted to take a shower and he told you that you can borrow any of his clothes. He even said that he'll run you a bath but you told him that you were just going to take a light shower which Lucas didn't mind. Whilst you were showering, Lucas prepared a T-shirt and shorts along with the hoodie you were just wearing.

After your shower and putting on the clothes Lucas prepared, Lucas came and redid the medicine on your wounds before going back to watching some heart-warming movies on the bed. Feeling better, you decided to tell Lucas what happened and whilst it seemed that he was calm, his mind was off wondering the endless possibilities of teaching the two that harm you; whether it'd be physically or mentally.

Either way, Lucas listened to all your rambles, wrapping his arm around your shoulder, leaning you onto his chest, giving kisses on your forehead, cheeks and occasionally your neck, chuckling when he saw you flustered; basically making you 10x better, treating you like a queen up until you fell asleep.

When you did fall asleep, he gently tucked you into bed, kissing your forehead, smiling at your sleeping figure before leaving the room to the bar where he was more than ready to make the two-person harmed you suffer; not forgetting to ask Hendery and Yangyang to come over to watch over you.

"Sleep tight sweetheart. I'll be back before you know it, alright? No one treats my queen like trash and gets away with it" Lucas mumbled, kissing your forehead as he left as quietly as possible

and let's just say that everyone in the bar that night experienced a side of Lucas that no one would like to see or hear ever again.

"Try and lay a finger on her again, I won't be so nice next time" Lucas scoffed, seeing all the staff looked down, especially the two-person who hurt you

A/N: I hope that this was alright but yea, this fanfic has been stuck in my head for days