#so now all my dining hall options are small and we only have the dining hall to eat at during the week

[i-love-the-smell-of-your-blood]

PCOS sucks because sometimes I will just start sweating and it won't stop because PCOS can cause menopause like symptoms and I was unlucky enough to get those.

So sometimes I show up to class no matter what the weather is looking like a sweaty mess and it's so frustrating

[teecupangel]

So, something I've noticed. The bureau's are suppose to be hidden safehouses but also function as shops, but isn't a building with only 1 entrance, and that entrance being on the roof, really suspicious? How is it suppose to be a shop if no one can get in or even knows it's there? And how does Malik leave the bureau with one arm?

I did wonder about that and AC wiki helped me form this headcanon:

So, for me, the bureau is composed of three parts (and an optional fourth part which I’ll get to later): the front shop, the main chamber and the Rafiq’s office.

The room we see whenever Altaïr jumps down from the rooftop is called the main room (according to AC wiki) and this is where any ‘visiting’ Assassin can relax or rest until the start of their mission.

The second room we see where the Rafiq (or Dai in Malik’s case) can always be seen is the Rafiq’s office where an Assassin and the Rafiq can discuss the current mission and also have all the records of past and current missions and information/intel.

I actually assumed that the front shop and the Rafiq’s office are the same room until I thought about it and went “That’s too risky, right??? Like, anyone could just enter while there’s an Assassin-related discussion happening???” and such a risk seemed too stupid for the Brotherhood to do so I assumed there is a third part we don’t know about:

The front shop and any rooms it might need (like a storage room/area) with a novice(s) working as a ‘clerk’.

But then the question becomes how can the Rafiq access the front shop?

The common answer would be there is a door south of the room that we cannot see because of normal camera angles.

The more fun and more secretive answer would be:

It’s a hidden door.

Because every Rafiq's office has a similar setup with enough space behind the counter for a door.

Now, I talked about a possible fourth part and this is more my preference than anything else but I think a front shop that directly leads to the Rafiq office is too risky as well so I headcanon that there are ‘normal’ rooms between the two. A small bathroom because Assassins using public baths sound too risky thanks to the possibility of anyone seeing their missing ring finger and the idea they would leave their gear (especially their hidden blade) in a pretty unsecure place sounds stupid, a kitchen with a nearby dining hall, maybe quarters for the novices and informants or guest quarters, maybe even the Rafiq's private quarters or private office (or both?) and (like I mentioned earlier) any rooms that the front shop might need. Then to get to the Rafiq’s office there will be a hidden door that looks like a wall. This fourth part is optional for me because, well, we'd have to take in consideration just how big the bureau looks on the outside for this part to even be possible. If it's not, I guess... it's bigger on the inside XD

Anyway, that’s how I think the bureaus during the Third Crusades operated because the alternative “the Rafiq’s office is also the front shop” sounds too risky for me XD

[crystalninjaphoenix]

Many Roads Diverge in the Woods - Part Two

A JSE Interactive Fanfic

Previous

The results are in.

Your path has been decided. Strange how such a small choice can change so much. Can't wait to see how you guys handle the situations that are coming :)c

The poll at the bottom to decide what happens next is only open for one day, expiring on October 5th at 12:00pm PST. Part Three will be up on October 7th at the same time.

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“Thanks Jackie, but I think the food situation is a bit more important,” Chase says.

Jackie sighs. “Yeah, you’re probably right. But hey, you can always join later.” He turns and heads down the hall, leaving Schneep and Chase there.

“Ah, thank you, Chase,” Schneep says awkwardly.

“Hey, it’s no big deal. You’re right, if we don’t have food that’s kind of a bummer.” Chase leaves the bedroom, closing the door behind him. “Besides, if we don’t have anything, I’ll have to drive over to the town to get groceries. You guys should really pass your driver’s tests, you know.”

Schneep shrugs. “There has never been a need for it until now.”

The two of them head downstairs. Jackie has convinced Marvin and JJ to help him with the PS5, so they’re all currently crowded around the TV. “Hey guys.” Chase waves at them as he and Schneep walk past. “How’s it going?”

“Hey Chase,” Jackie says. “We’re teaching JJ how to set up a console.”

“It’s not that difficult,” Marvin adds, nudging JJ teasingly.

JJ rolls his eyes. Alright, alright, I get the picture.

Chase laughs as he and Schneep head into the kitchen/dining room combo. The rustic look continues here, though Chase can’t help but notice the countertops are made of fancy-looking green marble. Those must have cost a fortune. In fact, this whole place probably cost a lot. How did Jack’s family have access to this? They weren’t that well-off.

Schneep opens the refrigerator. “Ah, good, Jack was right. There is food.” He lets out a little breath of relief.

“This was really worrying you, huh?” Chase says, opening the cabinets. Each one was full of dried foods.

“I would like everything to go as expected.” Schneep closes the fridge and opens the attached freezer. It is also full. “You know that.”

“Yeah, you get a little, uh... anxious.” Chase gives him a small smile, hoping to reassure him. “Everything needs to be in control. I’m actually surprised you left the house keys by the door.”

“I did?” Schneep pats his pockets. “Oh, I-I forgot about that. You are right, I should probably hold onto those. I would hate to lose Jack’s keys.” He leaves the kitchen to go grab them.

Chase walks over to the archway connecting the area to the living room. Jackie and Marvin are now arguing about what to play while JJ fiddles with the controller. “Hey guys,” Chase calls. “We’re good on food. What d’you guys want to have for dinner?”

“You already know my list of foods I like,” Marvin says, shrugging.

I’m fine with whatever you want to make, JJ adds. It sounds like we may have limited options.

“We don’t want to make a mess,” Jackie points out. “Is there anything that’s easy to clean?”

“Uhh let’s check.” Chase turns around and looks through the kitchen again.

Schneep joins him. “I saw frozen pizzas in here,” he says, opening the freezer. “Yes, five of them.”

“Aw sweet, one for each of us,” Chase says. “Hmm, but would that be too messy?”

“Not unless our friends eat like your daughter,” Schneep jokes.

“Hey!... Well, that’s true.” Chase laughs. “Pizza it is, then. I don’t think five could fit in the oven at once, though. We won’t need all five, will we?”

Schneep shuffles through the freezer. “Oh! I think each one is our favorite, actually. Look, this one has olives for me, there is Jackie’s pineapple—ugh—and Marvin’s plain cheese. Jack must have really planned this out.”

“Huh. Okay, then, I guess everyone will have their own. Who’s the least hungry and ready to wait?”

Before Chase can go into the living room to ask the others, the lights in the kitchen all turn off at once, leaving only the light of the setting sun to illuminate the area. He hears Jackie and Marvin cry out in dismay, and he and Schneep return to the living room. “Of all the times!” Jackie complains.

“The power went out?” Chase says. “That’s weird.”

Perhaps it has been a while since the house was used and the fuse box is old? JJ suggests.

“I can go check,” Schneep suggests. “Jack said that the power was in the basement.” He walks over to the basement door, taking the house keys out of his pocket as he does so. After a couple tries, he finds the one to unlock the basement door, which then swings open. “Alright.” He turns to look back at everyone else. “I will be right back.”

“Hey, I can go with you, if you want,” Jackie offers.

Schneep laughs. “It is just a basement. I’m sure the worst that will happen is spiderwebs.” And before the others can say anything else, he heads on down. “I will text you if something is strange,” he calls, his voice getting farther and farther, echoing up the staircase.

Jackie frowns. “I don’t like that basement,” he mutters. “Strange that it was locked.”

This is more of a vacation home than a real home, JJ says. Of course they would lock everything up when they’re not using it.

“The bedrooms and bathrooms weren’t locked, though.”

“That’s cause the bedrooms and bathrooms only lock from inside,” Marvin says. “If they locked them, they’d have to leave through the windows, and I don’t think the ones in the bathroom open up.”

Jackie sighs. “Yeah, you guys are right. I’m probably just being weird cause it’s October and I’m thinking about horror movies.”

“I mean, if you’re really that worried about Schneep, you can follow him even if he said it would be fine,” Chase points out. “No one’s stopping you.”

“I could,” Jackie considers. He thinks about it.

[britswriting]

Devotion (19)

Devotion Masterlist Read on Wattpad

T/W: Talk of parental death and abortion 

*Leighton's POV*

Moving is either an exciting, or dreadful process. I tend to lean towards the second option more often than not. I found change to be anxiety inducing and being 6 months pregnant wasn't helping my case at all.

Colby and I have looked at house after house, none of them feeling right.

Colby would tell me, "This is the one, I can feel it" but I'd disagree. Whether it was the backyard didn't have enough play space, or the master bathroom was too small (Even though it was way larger than the one we have now) there was always something that didn't feel right.

"Leighton, we've looked at seven houses, baby. None of them are going to check out everything. It's more important that we get the important stuff" Colby reminded, his hand caressing mine as we left the house, following our real-estate agent to our second house of the day.

"I just want it to be perfect" I sighed, Colby nodding.

"What did you think of the house, G?" Colby asked, his eyes flickering to the rearview mirror where Gemma was sitting in her car seat behind us.

"I wiked the swing-set" She replied, looking out the window. 

"Yeah? That looked really fun, didn't it. I promise bug, in our new house, we'll have a swing set, okay?" He told her, Gemma nodding. "Is there anything about the house you liked? Maybe your future bedroom, the play room?" He coaxed, Gemma shrugging. Colby sighed, leaning his head back against the seat.

"What did you like about the house?" I asked, curious as to why he felt so defeated.

"I think the kitchen was really nice. Had room for entertaining. The living room seemed like a good space to hang out. The room attached to it, through that archway? Could've been a nice play space. Close enough to the living room and kitchen, you know? It had a guest room for your siblings, maybe Sam, your parents" he looked over at me, "The master bedroom was nice. Not as big as the one I used to have, but it was nice none the less" He looked out his window, his jaw popping out a little before looking back through the front windshield. "I just don't understand what you want, babe. I mean, I know you want it too feel right, I just don't understand how it feels wrong? It was in a nice neighborhood. Safe. There was families around that Gemma could possibly befriend" He continued and I sighed, feeling like I once again was the problem.

"I don't know Colby. It just, I couldn't see us living there. I couldn't see my babies growing up there"

"Leighton, we make it a home. It doesn't make us a home" He commented, the sound of the soft radio hum and Gemma's murmured singing along being the only thing keeping this car from an awkward silence.

Half an hour later, we pulled up to yet another house. It looked like a Modern Farmhouse and I already knew I wouldn't like it, but I swallowed my pride and followed Gemma and Colby through the big black entry door.

"Alright, this is a five bedroom, four bathroom house" our realtor began, "It has almost everything you're looking for" he continued, "It's three point five million-" my eyes widened, "Dollars. They are willing to negotiate" he commented, Colby nodding as he followed Gemma down the hall, being greeted with floor to ceiling windows, to the left was a beautiful modern kitchen, and to the right was a cozy living room.

As we walked through the house, I couldn't help but notice everything it was missing.

A play space, a separate dining room for hosting, it was also on the smaller side for the backyard, the master bedroom was smaller than I knew Colby wanted, and the master bathroom shower was quite small.

I was surprised by how tight everything felt since it was three million fucking dollars.

Where does he think we have that in our budget? I thought we were splitting our income for this house?

"What do you think Gem? Think this could be your room?" Colby asked, Gemma wandering in, looking around at the strangers stuff, giving him a weird look that made me giggle.

My hand rested on my bump as I looked around, biting my lower lip.

I could feel Colby's eyes on me as I snooped before wandering out and down the hall towards another bedroom.

I peeked inside, unsure  if I could see us putting together a nursery in here.

Nothing felt right.

You know when you walk into a house, or even an apartment, and you think, alright, this will work. It might not be perfect, but it'll work.

This house had that. It could work. But the price compared to what you get was insane. 

We could move back to Minnesota with three million dollars and get a way better house, and land for that matter, than this place.

"What do you think, Leighton?" Colby asked, Gemma pushing past us, Colby quickly reminding her that these toys weren't hers and that she in fact, could not touch them. 

"What do you think?" I tossed back, not ready to drag him down again.

"I like the other place better" he said, my head nodding slowly.

It was nicer. Bigger. Had more of what we were looking for.

"I agree" I nodded again, Colby's head tilting.

"But you didn't like the last place?"

"I didn't say I didn't like it. I said it didn't feel right. This place, it's nice.. but it's small" I noted, my lips pursed at the fairly small closet.

"What about the area? It was a nice drive. It's gated" he commented, his eyes lingering on me as I scanned the room. 

"Yeah" I agreed, Gemma wandering over to us, whining that she was getting bored.

"Gemma, do you like this house?" Colby asked, Gemma shrugging.

She was losing interest.

When we asked her this morning if she'd like to come house hunting, quickly explaining that we'd be driving around and going into houses, she was excited, practically bouncing off the walls. Now that we were doing it? Not so much.

"This room is a bit smaller for it to be the nursery" Colby unknowingly agreed, turning on his heel to leave, stopping in the hallway to talk to the real estate agent.

"Mommy? Can we go back to Papa?" Gemma asked, rubbing at her eyes.

"Soon bug, we have one more house and then we can go to the grocery store and get stuff for dinner for Papas', okay?"

Gemma fell asleep on the ride to the third house, Colby carrying her the entire house tour, our voices fairly soft in hopes of keeping her asleep.

"I don't like this one" Colby commented first, my head nodding in agreement. "At this rate, we'll never find a house" he groaned, my hands cradling my stomach s I rocked on my feet. 

My feet were starting to swell a bit, and my back was getting sore from all the stairs we've been doing.

I wish I was in Gemma's place right now. A nap sounded great.

"I liked the yard space, the kitchen and the master bedroom" I noted, Colby humming in agreement.

"The bedrooms weren't bad. It's lacking a master bathroom though" he said, one of the main factors he wanted in our house.

"At this rate, we might as well build our own" I joked, my body freezing when I watched his eyes twinkle, "Colby-"

"What? That's not a bad idea"

"We aren't building a house in California. I doubt there is even land to do that. We'd have to buy land a house is on and tear it down. Not including the fact that I'm pregnant and the house won't be done and ready to move in by the time this baby pops out" I reminded him, really not wanting the stress of building a house right now.

Gemma stayed asleep in her car seat whilst we drove home, the 15 minutes of silence making the pit in my stomach grow larger when I cleared my throat and softly said, "I don't think I want to live here anymore", nervously looking over at Colby.

"What? What do you mean?" He asked, his voice a little rough from our prolonged silence.

"I think I don't want to live in California. I think that's what really is feeling wrong about all these places. I don't want my girls growing up here" I chewed on my lip again, feeling the soft delicate skin tear.

Colby stayed quiet, his fingers tapping against the steering wheel, causing my own fingers to spin my anxiety ring.

"Where do you want to move?" He asked softly. He didn't sound upset, or applaud by the idea, but simply tired. Defeated even.

"Well, Sam is in Nevada" I started, Colby nodding, "Your parents are in Arizona" I continued, Colby nodding again, "Which means to be close to your family, we need to stay on the west coast" I stated, Colby's brow furrowing. "But.. my family.. my family is in the Midwest" 

"What are you saying, Leighton?"

"I feel guilty" I murmured, my elbow resting on the door frame near the window, my cheek leaning against my hand as I watched traffic go by.

"About?"

"About wanting to move back home. Back to Minnesota" I clarified, "Especially since all your family is over here. I don't want to take you further away from your family, Colby"

"Leighton, babe, I've told you I don't care where we move. I just want you to be happy" He replied, my eyebrows furrowing as I turned to look at him.

"But what about your happiness? I want you to be happy, Colby" 

"I am happy, Leighton. You can't be worried about moving me away from my family" he glanced over at me, "I did that all on my own when I was a teenager. They're a phone call, or even a plane ride away. I'm okay. I know how much being near your family means to you. How you crave the close proximity"

"I just don't need another reason for your mom to hate me" I sighed, Colby's eyes rolling.

"She doesn't hate you"

"She does"

"She apologized, remember?"

"I'm still convinced she wants my head on a platter. She thinks I'm the worst thing for you, and now I'm carrying your offspring"

"Offspring? Please don't ever call our baby that ever again" he laughed, his hand moving off the wheel to my thigh, giving it a squeeze.

"Hey! be careful!" I swatted his hand away, already feeling like I had to pee. The less I could think about my vagina and how much I needed to pee the better. "If traffic doesn't get moving I'm going to piss my pants in this car" I groaned, fed up by California's traffic.

I'm learning very quickly, there is nothing worse than being pregnant, and sitting in California stop and go traffic.

We thankfully got to the grocery store in time for me to waddle off to the bathroom, Colby staying behind since Gemma was still asleep, when I realized this was the same store I got lost in five years ago.

Chuckling, I b-lined it for the bathroom, thankful I've been here quite a few times with Sam and Colby before finding a basket and grabbing a few things for dinner.

I set the grocery bags back in the car before hopping back in, buckling as Colby teased, "You didn't get lost this time" making me grin, Colby leaning over the console to kiss me.

Colby set a drowsy Gemma on the sofa as I plopped the grocery bags on the counter, Colby coming to help me with dinner.

Ever since moving back into the apartment, Colby has been a lot more hands on with me making dinner, Gemma and I helping him learn how to do things.

It was fun watching G take charge, showing him how to measure basic ingredients. (Even though I still had to help her, she acted like she didn't need my help when she instructed Colby) So watching Colby start to chop veggies and toss them into a sauce pan made my chest swell.

"Look at my master chef" I giggled, sneaking a quick kiss before slipping the diced tomatoes into his pan.

"Can't leave my girls hungry" he hummed, sneaking another kiss before stirring the veggies.

"It smells good" My dad commented, walking into the kitchen, looking tired as ever. "How did house hunting go?" he asked, Colby and I filling him in on our failed attempt of finding a house.

"Hey, speaking of moving" he cleared his throat, "I uh, I've been meaning to talk to you guys" dad said, catching my attention. "I didn't really want to say this like this" he started, worrying me, "But you're hard to track down these days"

"Dad, I'm a phone call away, remember?"

With me moving back in with Colby and trying to rebuild the foundation of my relationship, Landon and Logan have really stepped up with helping my parents, meaning I haven't seen my dad or mom for that matter as much as I used to. 

"I know, I know, I just.. I guess I just feel guilty for even bringing it up" he sighed, taking a seat on the bar stool.

"For bringing what up?" I asked, carefully carrying a cutting board of sliced meat over to Colby's pan.

"Your mothers afternoon nurse has uh, brought it to my attention about how rough mom's doing" he said, Colby's back tensing as I stilled, Colby shifting to face my father. "And uh, I made the comment on how we were struggling to afford to pay for all the extra help. You know how we stopped having the evening and night nurse? I mean, we had you around which was nice, I just, I don't want to hold you kids back from your life. I'm grateful you're willing to help, but you guys are old enough to be living your life without us holding you back" 

"Dad, you're not holding us back" I reassured him, afraid of where this conversation was going.

"With mom getting worse, and the money getting tight-"

"Dad, no" I shook my head, my fear starting to become very real.

"Leighton.. It's not fair on your mom-"

"No. Stop" my voice wobbled, remorse filling my dads facial features as he stared at me, my eyes becoming watery.

"Leighton, I think it's time we discussed letting mom go to the other side" he said softly, my heart dropping to my ass, as my tears threatened to fall.

My head violently shook, "No. I.. I'll pay. I'll figure it out. We can find the money" I began, Colby nodding, my dad jumping in before Colby could, "I already know you've offered to pay" dad told Colby, "But it's more than just money, sweetheart." he looked over at me, "It's life. She's getting worse. The cancer is spreading and causing more pain, and her organs to struggle. Baby, she can't even talk anymore. I hate this just as much as you do.. but, I hate even more watching my wife, and my children suffer. We all deserve peace. Your mom.. she shouldn't have to struggle like this every day" His own voice wobbled, my dad becoming emotional was really going to send me into a full meltdown.

"We can't lose her, dad" I began to cry, Colby turning off the stove, setting the pan aside before pulling me into a hug; my head fell into his chest as the tears began to pour at the thought of saying goodbye to my mom.

"Leighton, she's been suffering for a long time. You know that just as much as I do. We both know this isn't the woman we love. She's practically already gone, Leigh"

I just cried into Colby's chest, his chin resting on my head when I felt my dad's hand on my back.

"I hate this just as much as you do-"

"THEN WHY AREN'T YOU CRYING?!" I exploded, shoving my fiancé away, "Why are you doing this?! You sound like you've already decided! That this isn't even up for debate!" I cried, my face turning red as I glared at him, "You just what, giving me a courtesy warning? Fucking thanks dad!"

"Leighton-" he began to warn, my head shaking. 

"No! You're letting her go!" I yelled, "You're giving up!" 

"Leighton Rae, you know I would never give up on your mother, the woman I've loved for 25 years" 

"You are! You're letting her die!" I cried, dismissing the hurt that flashed across his face.

How could he do this? How does someone just decide to let their wife, mother of their children, die?

"Leighton Rae Fox, I am not letting her die. I'm letting her stop her suffering. You should just just as well as me that seeing her like that every day is heartbreaking" 

My throat closed, making it impossible for me to argue back as I choked on a sob, Colby pulling me back into his hold, letting me soak the fabric of his shirt.

The sound of my crying in the kitchen made a little voice ask "Mommy?" cracking my heart even more.

"What Gem?" Colby asked before I could pull away, wiping at my nose with the back of my hand.

"Mommy, kay?" She asked, my head nodding as I took a few deep breaths.

"I'm just sad, bug" my hoarse voice replied, my hand holding onto the counter top as I crouched down, keeping my balance.

"Why are you.. sad, momma?" She asked, her face showcasing concern as I opened my arm, welcoming her into my hold.

"Mommy's just sad at life stuff, bug. You know how you get sad when Coco goes bye bye?" I asked, Gemma nodding, "That's kinda why mommy's sad" I tried to explain, Gemma's face scrunched as she looked up at Colby.

"Coco leave gin?" She asked, air getting blown out between my lips as I shook my head, "No baby, Coco isn't leaving" 

"But.. Mommy say he weave?" 

I decided to just be honest, carefully sitting down on the tile since my legs were staring to ache, "You know how Nonna has a tube that gives her air? And food?" I asked, Gemma nodding.

"Yeah! No touch" her head shook, making me smile.

"Yeah, we don't touch it, huh" I brushed hair out of her eyes, "It helps Nonna breathe and eat so she's big and strong" my chest tightened, "Well, Nonna's been struggling lately.  She's no longer big and strong" I tried, unsure of how to explain death to my almost four year old.

"Nonna sick?" She asked, my head nodding.

"Yeah bug, Nonna's been sick for a while, remember?"

"Yeah!" She nodded, "We wait to get better" She looked up at my dad who I swear was on the verge of crying, "Nonna no better?"

"No baby, Nonna isn't better. That's why mommy is crying, bug" I smiled softly, sniffling a little as my eyes burned.

"Oh" She stated, her face full of confusion until her eyes twinkled, a look of hope making me want to protect her from everything that was about to happen, "Make Nonna card, with.. with Papa!" She grinned, looking over at my dad, "Make Nonna all.. all bedder" 

Oh my sweet girl..

"Baby, if you want to make a card for Nonna, go right ahead, bug, but uh.. Nonna's not gonna get any better" my voice cracked, Gemma's lips pursing, reminding me of myself.

"No bedder?"

"No baby"

"Why?"

"Nonna's very sick, bug"

"But.. but I get sick! I get.. get all bedder! I lay with.. with mommy! and Coco! And.. and I watch car..cartoons!" She grinned, looking up at Coco, "and has.. has snacks! Gemma all.. all bedder then! No more.. no more owies" Her face scrunched again, shaking her head. "Nonna, Nonna needs snacks, momma! And.. and.. and paw.. paw patrol!" She walked past me towards the pantry, snatching a sandwich baggie of proportioned goldfish crackers, running past me and up the stairs, my heart completely shattering as a stangled cry rippled through my throat, my head hung low as the tears continued to pour.

"Do you got her if I go-" my dad paused, his voice low before I heard him leave, feeling Colby sit down next to me, pulling me into his arms.

"I'm sorry, baby" he hummed, kissing the top of my head before the two of us sat in silence, allowing me to cry.

"I can't lose her, Colby" I cried, "I mean, I know.. know she isn't here" I struggled, "But she is.. here" I sniffled, "My daughter needs her grandmother, Colby! I.. my baby is never going to meet her" I cried, Colby tugging me into his lap, my belly in our way making him chuckle and shift us so I was slightly crooked, leaning me forward with my arms wrapped around his neck, his hand moving in a soothing motion on my back.

"Leighton, she has been suffering for a long time" Colby said softly, "And we knew this day would come eventually" he reminded me, my eyes squeezed shut.

"She isn't supposed to die" I whimpered, my breathing rapid as I tried to calm down, wishing I could reverse the clock, or even just change positions with her.

I'd take it away from her in a heartbeat.

We eventually got up off the floor, Colby handing me a water bottle before grabbing my hand and slowly leading me up the stairs.

Walking into my parents bedroom, my mom laying there, looking less and less like herself every day felt like a nightmare I couldn't awake from.

I miss watching her move effortlessly around the house, the way her caring voice gave the best advice, or the way her laugh just felt like home.

I miss the excitement she had learning she was going to be a grandmother, and all the hopes and dreams we had. 

Seeing her lay here with so many wires and tubes attached to her felt.... well, it felt horrifying.

The color in her skin was lacking, and her eyes were closed as her lips parted for the tube.

She looked like a ghost of herself.

Gemma laid next to my mom, goldfish crackers laid one by one on the comforter in my moms lap, Gemma munching on her crackers as my dad sat in the chair by the window, watching the scene play out.

"Mommy!" Gemma grinned, "I gave Nonna fishies!" She grinned, shaking her bag, my eyes widening as crackers went everywhere. "Oops"

"Gemma!" I whisper lectured, moving quickly to collect the crackers, my dad chuckling to himself as Colby came to help.

"Sowwy" She giggled, her cheeks flushed pink.

"It's alright baby, just gotta be careful, okay?" I hummed, plopping a few of the collected crackers back into the bag.

"Nonna no eat fishies?" She frowned, looking at the placed crackers on the comforter.

"I'm sure she will later, okay? She's sleeping, remember? Gotta shh" I held my finger up to my lip, Gemma copying me before climbing out of her spot, wobbling over to me, my arms quickly catching her before she tripped on the blankets. "Gemma, careful" I frowned, Gemma giggling as she wrapped her little arms around my neck.

"Nonna get bedder, mommy! No more sad" She grinned, clearly proud of herself for "nursing Nonna back to health"

"I love you, Gemma Lorraine" I spoke quietly, brushing hair out of her face yet again before kissing her cheek.

"Wuv you, mommy" She giggled again, warming up my shattered heart.

That night we all ate dinner in my parents room, Gemma complaining about the veggies in our stir-fry, Colby taking offense which landed us in a bout of giggles as Colby got her to eat the veggies, claiming he'll be upset that she doesn't like his cooking, pretending to cry until the almost four year old caved, popping a mushy carrot into her mouth, a look of disgusting making me snicker, Colby shaking his head with a little laugh.

My father practically kicked me out of the house, saying I can come back tomorrow to see my mom after I tried to hold a protest, the car ride home silent. Colby took it upon himself to get Gemma into bed as I sat in our bed, my mind spiraling.

I couldn't help but let my mind think about having to plan a funeral for my mom, truly saying goodbye to her and letting her rest easy one last time.

I hated everything about the situation.

I remember when we found out she had cancer, and the spiral that sent me in, but knowing I had to say goodbye due to it made my head feel funny.

I almost craved the idea of letting lose and giving into my old habits, but I knew that was me just wanting a release.

I was stronger today, than I was back in High School. 

"Hey, how are you feeling?" Colby asked, tugging his shirt off, tossing it into the hamper before tugging his jeans off as I replied "Shitty"

"I'm sorry you're having to go through this, Leighton" He sighed, crawling into bed in just a pair of underwear, laying on his stomach as he rested on his elbows, looking up at me. "Your belly looks huge from this angle" he laughed, my eyes rolling as he shimmied closer, pressing a kiss against my stomach. "If only you told me when we first met that you'd be lying in my bed, knocked up with my baby" he grinned, finally coming to lay next to me, snuggling close with his arm tucked under my stomach, across my hips.

"I'm pretty sure you would've kicked me out quicker" I teased, shimmying lower on the bed against the pillows.

"Do you want some happy news?" He asked quietly, catching my attention.

"We have happy news?"

"We do" he hummed, his hand sneaking up to rest against my bump.

"Lay it on me" I snickered, sighing with content as his hand slipped under my shirt, softly caressing my stomach.

"Sam texted me" he started, my eyes rolling.

"That's nothing new"

"Will you let me finish?" He laughed, my mind quickly finding the gutter, getting me to giggle to myself as Colby continued, "He's planning on proposing to Kat soon"

My jaw dropped.

"You're joking!" 

"Dead serious"

"Oh my god! When did he tell you that?"

"Well, he dragged me ring shopping-"

"AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?! COLBY!" I yelled, slapping his arm.

"I'm sorry! I was sworn to secrecy"

"Secrecy doesn't count with your future wife, and best friend!"

"Noted" he laughed, "Anyway, he texted me whilst we were eating dinner. He's been trying to figure out exactly how he wants to do it, but he says he's got a plan in motion now so" he shrugged, his eyes falling closed as he laid against my boobs, snuggled close.

"Nuh-uh Brock" I groaned, "You don't get to drop that on me and snuggle into my boobs and go to bed" 

I felt him grin against me, kissing the fabric against the side of my boob, my stomach fluttering at the feeling.

"Why are you wearing clothes in bed?" He grumbled, his hand cupping my right boob, giving it a squeeze which made me moan out of both pleasure and discomfort.

"Colby! They're sore, be nice" I frowned, "And because we have a toddler who likes to crawl into our bed sometimes"

"She won't know" he laughed, my eyes rolling.

"Some kids have memories when they're little. She doesn't need to see my boobs, Colby"

"Why? She's fed off them for a year" he teased, pinching my sensitive nipple, causing me to yelp and slap his hand, only for him to quickly move it, causing me to hit my own boob making me groan as he cackled.

"I hate you. You're dead to me, Brock!" 

"I thought we agreed to no clothes in bed, hm?" He tried again, thankfully knowing better than to tease me for missing his hand.

"We did not. You said that and I ignored you"

"Well, I think it's a good idea"

"You're going to regret that when my boobs start leaking milk"

"Sexy" He teased, my boob still stinging.

"Shut up and tell me how Sam plans to propose to Kat"

Colby explained what he knew, answering the questions I had until my voice became soft and drowsy, lulling into a sleep snuggled into his chest.

Sleeping in our bed still felt weird, even with him back in it, but snuggling into him has always felt right.

It felt nice to have more than just a pillow to cuddle all night low.

The next morning, Colby had plans to meet with one of his marketing team members for a brand collaboration, leaving Gemma and I to fend for ourselves all afternoon since my dad told me I wasn't allowed over until after 1pm.

Something about not wanting me hovering and wasting my precious day away, Insert eyeroll here.

I pulled into their driveway right at 1pm, Gemma hopping out of the car all by herself, racing to the door and yanking it open, quickly reminding me of how my little girl is not so little anymore.

"Papa!" Gemma yelled, kicking off her sandals and running upstairs.

How does this girl have so much energy?

Gemma hung out with my dad in his art studio whilst I laid with my mom, the evening creeping up on us when my phone buzzed.

Expecting it to be Colby, I flipped it over, clicking the home button so the lockscreen of Colby and Gemma grinning  with ice cream cones in their hands came into view.

My eyes narrowed when I saw Lexi's name.

Roo 🥱 Hey Leighton. I know it's been a while but I was....

Huffing, I typed in my password, opening my messages.

Roo 🥱 Hey Leighton. I know it's been a while but I was wondering if we could meet up? I'd really like to talk to you. Explain things. 

Roo 🥱 Brennen and I broke up. Please.. just hear me out? I'm sorry

Why was she begging me? She was the one ignoring me!

I debated on being petty, but decided that I needed to grow up and hear her out, I replied; 

Where do you want to meet up?

Sighing, I shut my phone off, not expecting her to reply quickly; only to be surprised when my phone buzzed.

Roo 🥱 I've been staying at Kirsten's. Roo 🥱 Can we meet up at Heather's coffee house around the corner?

Kirsten's? Like my cousin Kirsten? The girl who dropped off the face of the earth and has stopped coming to any family functions for years? What was she doing there?

Agreeing, I asked when, quickly making plans for tomorrow at 2:15pm, praying to god I don't get stood up.

When I walked through Heather's Coffee House at 2:04pm, the nerves set in as I worried about her blowing me off.

I sat down at the booth with a smoothie in hand, aggravated that I can't drink caffeine; scrolling through my phone as I waited.

There was a text from Colby, reminding me to tell him how it goes since he was at a shoot all day.

2:20 rolled around and I was ready to block her number and resume my petty actions, knowing I was right that her ass would stand me up and waste my time.

 Ten more minutes passed and I huffed, grabbing my drink and pushing the metal chair in, saying a quick goodbye to the teenage barista as I left the café. 

What was the point? To waste my time? See if I still cared?

Maybe she chickened out, but why? 

 I could feel anger boil in my chest as I practically stomped down the sidewalk towards my car, ready to call Colby and give him a piece of my mind about my sister when I heard my name frantically shouted, stopping me in my tracks as I turned around, my sister flagging me down.

I glared, turning on my heel as I walked back, her apologetic face looking very punchable right about now.

"I'm sorry I'm late!" She quickly said, a string of hope lingering in her eye as she glanced down at my stomach, then back at me. "You're so pregnant" She whispered probably to herself, my head nodding out of instinct.

"Mhm"

"I.. wow. It's been awhile" She stated, like she hasn't realized how much time has actually passed.

"Yep" my P popped, annoyance evident in my tone, hopefully speeding this process up.

I thought she wanted to talk?

"I uh, can we go in and sit down, please? I'm sorry for being late! I'll explain everything if you will just listen" She spoke in one breath, and I nodded, following her inside to another table in the back of the dining area.

"I got caught up with work and I had to stop back at Kirsten's and I-"

"It's fine" I interrupted, "What do you want to talk about?" I watched her fiddle, her eyes locked on her hands against the brown wooden table. "Lex?"

"I'm so sorry" she breathed out, my body collapsing against the chair. I knew this was useless.  "I never meant to be a bitch" she continued, catching my attention, "I just..... you were right" she exhaled, confusing me as I sat up straight.

"I was right?" I asked, Lexi nodding, "How was I right?"

"I should've never dated Brennen" She said softly and I nodded.

"You're right. You shouldn't have"

"I know.."

"Lexi, what happened? Why did you want to meet?"

"You're the only person I can talk to about this" She murmured, practically sitting on the edge of her seat, ready to bolt at any second.

"Lexi" I said, growing impatient.

I can't sit here all day. I have a dying mother to tend to, and a toddler to care for.

"I'm pregnant" She blurted, my eyes practically popping out of my head.

I swear the world stopped and everything moved in slow motion.

"You're what?" I questioned, my voice full of shock and disbelief.

What did she just say?

"I'm pregnant" She repeated.

So I did hear her right.

"I... what? With Brennen?" I asked, Lexi nodding slowly. "Lexi.." 

"I know!" She whimpered, covering her head with her hands, hiding from me.

"How far along are you?" I asked, struggling to wrap my head around my baby sister being impregnated. 

"I don't know"

"What do you mean you don't know?"

"I haven't gone to the hospital" she confessed, leaving me bewildered.

"When did you find out?" I questioned, feeling like I was living in some sort of nightmarish alternate universe where everything that could go horribly wrong, does.

"A week ago" 

A WEEK AGO?!

"And you haven't gone to the hospital? Lexi!" I scolded, her face turning pink.

"I know, but I can't!" I whined.

"What do you mean you can't?"

"I don't want mom and dad to know" She said, wiping under her eye.

What?

"What do you mean?"

"I'm still on their insurance and I don't want them to know I'm knocked up" She clarified. "I don't even know if I'm keeping it" She said softly, almost inaudibly.

"Not keeping it?" I questioned, my head trying to process a million things at once; failing miserably. "And what do you mean I'm the only one you can talk to about it? What's going on?" I asked, feeling like everything was coming out of left field. "You want an abortion?" I asked, Lexi's eyes widening as she shushed me, looking around us at the mostly empty tables.

"I don't know! I just.. you thought about aborting Gemma, didn't you?" She asked quietly and I nodded slowly. "I just... you have experience with being young and pregnant and in a bad relationship" She confessed, catching my attention again.

A bad relationship?

"Lexi, what's going on? I know you texted that you and Brennen broke up... does he know?" I asked, Lexi avoided eye contact, "Lex, does he know about the baby?" I asked, her head shaking, a sigh leaving my lips. "Lexi.."

"I know! I just.. I can't tell him! We're already broken up.."

"He deserves to know" I frowned.

No matter how much I hate him, they were together for quite awhile...

"Not if I don't keep it" She stated, sitting up straighter.

"Do you really not want to keep it?" I asked, surprised by this revelation since I always expected her to be overjoyed to be a mother.

"I don't know.. I just.. I'm worried" 

"Lexi, if you're not sure, then don't go through with it. Don't do something you'll regret. You should really go to the doctor, see how far along you are, maybe even double check that your pregnancy tests were valid and talk about your options with a medical professional. It's scary, but you need to do what's safest for you, and in your best interest"

"Is it selfish of me to abort it?" She asked quietly, my ears catching a guilty undertone that screamed more than just unexpected pregnancy.

"Lexi, what's going on?" I asked softly, leaning forward to grab her hand with mine, hoping the contact soothed her the same way Colby's did with me.

"Kirsten thinks I shouldn't get an abortion-"

"Well this isn't Kirsten's baby or body Lexi"

"But.. she knows the facts and she's worried-"

"The facts?" I interrupted, my eyes narrowed. "Lexi, what's going on?"

"Kirsten wants me to file a police report" She said quietly, my hand yanking back like it had touched something scolding hot.

"A police report?! For what?! You better start talking Lexi Nicole Fox and fast" 

"Please don't be mad at me" her voice cracked.

"Lexi, tell me" 

"Brennen's been abusing and raping me for months"

* * * * 

Written on: August 15th, 27th, 28th 2023

Published on: August 28th 2023

Word Count: 6130

Part twenty

[40sandfabulousaf]

大家好! My craving for sushi is finally starting to subside, but I intend to eat it often to prevent future intense cravings. Back it was to the local supermarket cum food hall for my fix. Besides sushi, sashimi and temaki (handrolls), the little Japanese corner also sells bento meals. Their unagi don looks quite good! I may try that if I can steer myself away from sushi. These bite sized morsels can be 1 of the healthiest meals when dining out. I'm glad this supermarket doesn't include deep fried options (good) and I try to select combos with the least mayo.

ML knows I love fish and wanted to introduce me to a place that sells delicious fish soup. Why not? I followed her and MI to the stall. To my delight, they offer customers the option to 'upgrade' to red garoupa for a slight premium and I went for it. Once I sat down, first thing to do was taste the soup. OH. MY. WORD. It was robust, garlicky and absolutely delicious! In this region, only the freshest fish is served steamed, blanched, in soup or as sushi and sashimi. One can't hide the fishy pungence of unfresh fish unlike with panfrying, deep frying, roasting or baking. The fish slices were firm and succulent, just perfection. I also liked the added seaweed. Top marks for this!

We returned to the fish soup stall we visited last week so I could try their yu zhou (rice porridge with fish). This isn't a Cantonese style congee which is typically silky smooth; rather, this is Teochew mueh and contains whole rice grains soaked in broth. After breaking the egg yolk and mixing everything up, I tucked in. Yum! It was as good as their fish soup, except better because I mixed the egg in. The fish was fresh and tender and the egg floss added flavour as well as texture. ML and I want to try their other items such as ban mian (board noodles). Next time!

Geez, lotsa fishy goodness in this post! Won't apologise for it, these meals are moderately healthy AND delicious. I can absolutely eat like this for the rest of my life. I'm also building up a mini sterling silver collection to wear with my athleisure outfits, which is pretty much what I live in outside of work. At the mo, the weather is still very warm so I wear shorts very often. Casual jewellery dresses things up abit and, let's get real, I may be older, but I'm still a woman, and I still love shiny adornments. Supporting small local businesses is close to my heart, so I bought 2 pairs of hoop earrings and another bolo bracelet.

Whilst it may take years for the true Palestinian death toll in Gaza to be ascertained, we can be sure of 1 thing: far too many innocent lives have perished as a result of this genocidal war. UN experts have declared that famine has spread throughout the Gaza strip. It's not that I don't want to say more about the dire situation there; it's just that, what else is there left to say? All I can do is pray and I continue to do that. I still follow what is happening and hope that the end of this genocide will come soon. Stay strong, Gaza. 下次见!

[nightcall99]

Dreams from 15.7.24

Dream 1: I had some kind of pet animal that had been roaming around in our house and I went to put it back in it's cage. All the cages where in a dark room on top of a table. When I put the animal back, I saw that most of the cages were empty but in one of them there was a huge rabbit. Maybe it only seemed huge because the cage was too small, the rabbit was basically the same size as the cage. It didn't even have any room to turn around. I had forgotten about it and felt really bad. How long had it been since I had let it outside? It was night out, almost pitch black. I was carrying the cage outside when I lost balance of it. The cage door opened and the rabbit took advantage of the momentum and flung itself out of its confines. It seemed to be making a run for it. It's hops were uncharacteristically huge, making one right over the wooden fence which is higher than my head. Panic overtook me, I thought it was surely gone for good but it turns out it was only using the fence as a launch pad to make a dive right for me. The rabbit was really mad at me and wanted revenge. It happened really fast and I woke up from the shock of the impact, which felt so real. I felt it was gonna chew my head of or something due to the neglect I had inflicted upon it.

Dream 2: I was in a house hanging out with an old co-worker from 10 years ago, CS. I felt that he was a romantic option for me and that I could have had him if I wanted. I flirted with him and let him hang around me. One day he got home from work and had a bag of ice-creams from the supermarket. He took one of them out to eat and the others I took off him and stored in the fridge. It was strange, I don't know why we lived together and even though we flirted with each other, neither made any moves on the other. My mum was there too. I felt that we were at the old family house which was on top of a corner convenience shop. The layout was similar but everything looked different. When I went downstairs into the shop floor, the feeling was just 'dead'. It was so small and hidden away, to the point where we never had any customers because no one could even see our shop front from the road. One time when it was dark, it felt like a customer was going to come in. But now it was just our home and no longer a shop and I wanted to lock the door because it felt like a home invasion. Turns out it was just CS coming home.

Dream 3: I was in a car following another car of people who were moving party stuff to their second house/holiday house. They stopped and opened their boot and there was a bunch of stuff stacked in there including a trash can. My mum, who was in the car with me, said something like, It's closed and they can't go through that way (like the place wasn't open yet). But those other people, who were a group of teenagers actually, were unpacking their boot anyway, not that they could have heard us say that. We were just watching, I don't know why we were following them. It felt like maybe my mum and I were cleaners, who had to 'follow up' on whatever those people were doing.

Dream 4: AL was making fun of me. We were sitting and eating lunch in a big room, like a dining hall, where other people were too. She placed a coffee cup right in front of a song verse she'd written on the wall, to bring attention to it. It was about me and and how she knew that I liked EA because of this one time where I defended him regarding something and she was able to tell from my demeanor and how I acted. But that guy is gay and I don't see him like that. I felt embarrassed only because she was made a public display of it. She kept looking for a reaction but I ignored her. Her energy was so snarky and sarcastic and I didn't enjoy it at all.

Dream 5: The teacher had lead the class to a different building in the school which was a ways off from the rest of the school. The feeling was this was a makeshift hang out place which was supposed to be an upgrade from the prior one. It looked like a library. This one had less books in comparison to the 'old' one, but it was bigger and nicer. It felt a bit eerie though and cut off energetically from the rest of the school. It was vaguely cave-like. The teacher said, Time to hang out in here for a bit. And the bunch of us students did just that.

Other random scenes: AL changed her hair colour from red to black. I hadn't noticed it until she said so and when I had a closer look, it was true, it did change. However it was not black, more like a dark grey.

I was looking at something, maybe on my phone, and the background changed to pink when I didn't even do anything.

"What do you need?" "Nothing."

A co-worker was dealing with something and they realised there was no script and that an 'I owe you'/advance supply would need to be done for that person. But that wasn't the case, I found a script in the patient's file.

[truckreincarnation]

misfortunate mishaps || yuliya || trial 2.1 || re: avery, harriet

This entire time as the debate has first started has all sounded like white noise to Yuliya. Silent, vacant noise like in the midst of a cold, whispering snowstorm. Her voice still feels parched, raspy from its misuse for the amount of times she’d swallow down her words - but no amount of words, whether they were lies or truths, could bring back the dead. Not now. And not ever.

Selfish. So, fucking selfish and conceited. How angry, how miserable, how empty she is now that the snow has fallen. But it’s only the calm before the storm that would brew once more, because someone here is responsible. She knows it. And she wants answers.

Never more has she wished to still be binded by her truths and honesty instead of her white lies.

But she’s still going to try. Even when she barely feels tethered to the ground, like she’s going to shatter within the next breath she takes, all as her hands still tremble beneath her table, she’s still going to try.

“I never saw Perry for the entire rest of the night. I was going to see her the next day to make her something, but…”

Her voice trails, and judging from the sudden slouch of her shoulders, she can’t even bring herself to finish that sentence. They were supposed to have time. If she was going to bake her something from the rolls she’d received beforehand, she had wanted it to be perfect and up to her standards. Not like she’d be able to do so right now.

So she takes another shuddering breath. No signs of weakness here. Lock it down. You don’t have time to waste here.

“It doesn’t matter. I’ll make this brief. I didn’t spend most of my night doing much, besides skating in the summoning circle here after the motive announcement. Esmée was with me the entire time then. At 9:15pm, I left and went through the dining room to the training hall. Shinjuku and Germain were both in the dining room when I passed by, and Luz was already in the training hall too when I entered. When I was done, I headed straight back to my room at 10pm, and Esmée was back in our room, having just finished a shower. I didn’t go to sleep until 10:30 though, but by then, I woke back up again because of the announcement. By then, Esmée had left. You all can figure out the rest.”

She doesn’t need to put it into words over where Esmée could’ve gone afterwards. From there, Harriet suggests what she'd suspected, even if she makes a point to still not look at her. And it isn't until Avery starts explaining what they'd investigated that she lets out another shuddering sigh, closing her eyes as her shoulders tense even more.

She’d told her back then, hadn’t she? That sleeping with that stupid fumo was trouble. And look where that got her. Had Yuliya only been more insistent on leaving that out as window dressing. 

“So we’ve confirmed enough that it started in the bound garden, as the tear from… that plush suggests. And it’s not too far off to assume she’d be laying there as well, since she tends to sleep early. From here, there’s two ways that this could happen - the first being that someone deliberately did it, or the second being that it was an… accident.”

“If it’s the first case, then we would have to assume that whoever did it would be quiet enough to not only wake her by climbing the tree, but to also reach over to grab the… plush, tear off the band-aid, and cut it off themselves. Which… doesn’t sound too plausible. She’s not a light sleeper, but the hammock is high enough to keep her alerted enough if someone approaches.”

“Which leaves… the second option - where she would’ve accidentally cut it herself. And judging by how the bandaid is stuck to the fabric that’s near to the cut, that sounds much more realistic. From the times she’s slept over in our room too, she… tended to shift quite a bit in her sleep. She stole the blankets more often than not.”

The last part is said in a small mumble, yet there’s no embarrassment as she tries to school her features together. This is the most she’s spoken since… the entire investigation really, having been almost mute for a majority of it unless spoken to at all. Frankly, she’s barely keeping it together.

“On the other hand, that doesn’t explain the cut on her cheek, but she could’ve cut herself with it after or during the fall itself, if her hand was still holding it. 

Otherwise, that's all that she would have to suggest.

[yoichichi]

“Here, Here, Little Piggy”

-INSTALLMENT TWO-

MINORS DNI 18+

wc: 5.5k

this fic contains dark content

𓂅synopsis: you should really be more careful walking home alone, big bad wolves are known to prowl the area at night.

𓂅cw warnings -> fem bodied reader but no pronouns used, monster fucking - werewolf, fear play, stuckage, dub con, size kink, breeding, biting, chasing, animal death, description of gore, mentions of blood, one use of the nickname “puppy”

𓂅cast: Kōtarō Bokuto as Werwolf

a/n: wow so yes it is March, and yes I’m finally going to continue posting my kinktober pieces LMFAOOO - the ideas were too golden to abandon now that I’m back from my hiatus on this blog! I put way too much work into the prep to completely abandon it 😭 so anyways, just enjoy some smut for bo and lemme know if you guys are down for me to finish off my kinktober works! Ty all and love ya <3 and of course - this fic contains dark content so read at your own discretion

event masterlist

Staggered goodbyes echoed from the welcoming warmth of your friends home up into the brisk night air and were lost somewhere up in the heights of the towering trees surrounding the whole property. The slam and click of their heavy, wooden front door cut the boisterous sounds off abruptly and left you with an eery remnant of the friendly banter until there was only silence.

You’d hadn’t meant to stay so late studying with your classmate, Maya, and you wouldn’t have either if their mom wasn’t so adamant on making small talk with you.

Originally, the pair of you were supposed to meet up at the dining hall on campus and find a nook to work together there - but an unexpected sewage build up, in addition to a sewage spill in one of the nearby bathrooms in the building - put a pause on those plans. If the caution tape that was dramatically taped across all entrances wasn’t telling you your study date was canceled, the smell sure was. But your peer had a better idea.

“It’s only about a 45 minute walk out from here! And we really need to get this work done. I promise my ma won’t mind, she’s super chill and really likes meeting people I know actually.”

Christ, that’s nearly an hour.

If you weren’t so desperate to finish this project off, you would’ve said no and suggested just meeting early in the morning and seeing if it was open by then. But considering neither of your dorms were an option (thanks to inconsiderate roommates both of you had the displeasure of knowing), and the library was always too packed to properly focus, “ma’s house” it was.

Maya’s mom was actually super sweet like she said, even bringing you some snacks & water halfway through on a literal silver platter. You shouldn’t have been surprised by the theatrics of it all though, their house felt like a hidden away manor. For only being a 45 minute walk, it felt like a world away from your bustling college campus.

The stretch up to the home was cutoff from the rest of the city with a thickly wooded area, the majority of it spent on the dirt driveway up to the home. You weren’t sure how far the woods stretched, but you knew it had to be expansive enough for coyotes to feel welcome considering the stories Maya shared with you on the walk there.

“Oh my god, I actually really like it at night when sometimes you can hear them howling. It sounds super scary but really…” the excitement in Maya’s voice faded out as you slowly shifted your focus to the forest’s edge on your right.

You could only see about maybe 30 ft in until the trees became too dense to register what was beyond them, and that was in the dimming daylight. But the blue-greenish hue coming down from the sky didn’t help either, making the colors of the woods muddle together until it was a mess of fog and figures.

It was … off putting. Beautiful, but certainly not inviting. How many coyotes were waiting in there now, watching you two walk, and you not even being able to see them.

You must be psyching yourself out and making your brain imagine things, because at the exact moment you had that thought you swore you saw a flash of something move far back within the trees. The muscles in your legs tensed as a flash of nervous sweat rang out from your body.

Sudden laughter from ahead of you snapped you out of your nightmare-ish daydreams and back to your conversation with Maya, you didn’t realize how far she had gotten.

“Ah sorry, am I freaking you out? I’ll stop talking about it!” She had her lips pursed and her eyebrows raised, a little more than nervous that she was ruining the first time she got to actually hang out with you outside of class.

You shook your head and jogged to catch back up with her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and giving her a warm smile.

“No, no, you’re all good. I’m just not used to being in such a cool place like this. I mean, it’s definitely a little creepy, but it’s just because I’m used to the city more. Keep talking, I like your stories.”

The rest of the time there you spent it studying, and listening to more of her horror- er, interesting, stories, for a good majority of it. Which was all good and fine, until now.

You were left standing in the dark outside of her home, and the trees all around you felt bigger, taller somehow. Ma offered you a ride home but you stupidly denied, saying you wouldn’t want to give them any troubles. It took a lot of going back n forth before she caved, saying you better send Maya a text once you got home safe.

But now that you were out here on your own, you regretted your decision. However your pride got the best of you and you decided that it’d be more embarrassing to go back inside and say you’ve changed your mind after all the hassle you went through to walk back by yourself.

Why did you feel so obligated to put yourself in bad situations to make sure others wouldn’t be inconvenienced by you?

Shaking the thought and reminding yourself you weren’t in a bad situation, at least yet, you turned and began your trek home.

It wasn’t very late. Taking a peek at your phone before shoving it back into the pocket of your coat you read that it was only half past seven; yet it was dark and cold enough to convince you it could’ve been midnight.

You blew puffs out in front of your face and smiled at how noticeable the cloud of breath was, deciding you’d focus on that rather than peer into the pitch black around you. Thankfully, the moon tonight was bright enough to illuminate your path and even a bit of the forest floor on either side of you.

There was only a single streetlight placed alongside the trail a few feet from their home, and it didn’t do it’s job very well, a dim orange glow emitting from it only lit a small diameter around it. At least tonight the moon was picking up its slack, covering the rest of the trail for you as it peeked through the trees overhead.

It was almost comforting, how big the full moon was as you peered up at it. It felt like a friend escorting you on your walk back, staring down at you from its spot in the sky. The bright light changed the whole mood of the walk from dark & foreboding to serene & soothing.

But maybe you should focus on the uneven trail in front of you instead, because before you knew it you went tumbling forward onto the dirt as your shoe caught onto something in the ground, undoubtedly a tree root.

You yelped as you landed on your side, your backpack knocking some on the wind out of you, and your cheek sore from the scrape of the ground. If only it wasn’t so cold out, your hands would’ve been out of their pockets to catch your fall.

“Fuck.” You groaned and pulled out a warm hand to press to the side of your face, hissing at the sting from the contact.

Groaning, loudly, you sat up and onto the ground, it was so cold you could feel the damp chill through your jeans. Tiny specks of red started to appear on the blue denim against your knees, not at all surprising to you with the way they burned, before you sighed and pushed yourself back up onto your feet; you made sure to leave your hands out of your pockets this time.

Adjusting your bag, you took a few steps forward and did your best to ignore the dull ache from the friction of your jeans against your bloody knees.

So much for a serene walk home.

Reminding yourself to keep your eyes ahead of you, making note of any dips or bumps, you looked at your phone once more to check the time.

7:36

You sighed and did the mental math, determining you should be home no later than 8:30 (if you were taking your bum knees into account).

If you were lucky, your roommate might be already asleep. They tended to head in early most nights. It was nice considering that meant your interactions were kept to a bare minimum thanks to your late night study habits. Maybe you should slow down even a little more, just to be sure they-

Snap!

Your head twisted to turn in the direction of the sound. It came from across the dirt road, surprisingly wide, in the blackness of the trees on the other side. All coherent thoughts vanished from your mind, a mantra of run run run run clouding your head instead.

You swallowed thickly and tried to calm your breathing, and your heart beat, as you reminded yourself that you’re surrounded by woods. That twig snapping could be anything.

A fallen small branch, a deer, small rodents, the wind, other various non threatening forest life. It doesn’t have to be a coyote… did coyotes even approach humans?

No, surely they didn’t. You’re a human, the worlds like, “top predator” or whatever.

Reminding yourself that you’re the thing forest animals are scared of, as silly as it felt considering your were one more noise away from wetting yourself and breaking into a sprint, you continued forward - a little more aware of the sounds around you.

Maybe you should put in your headphones? No, it’d only make you paranoid considering you wouldn’t be able to hear if someone, or something, was coming up behind you.

Snap!

You didn’t look towards the noise right away this time, instead your kept your face forward.

The noise came from your left this time, maybe 20 feet deep into the woods. 20 feet too close.

Snap!

It was definitely closer this time.

Should you run? No. What if it wants a chase? Were bears all the way out here? No, definitely not… right? Cause if they were-

Snap!

Any apprehension you had to running was flung out the window as you sprinted forward, jumping over any bulges in the ground and ignoring the steady thump of pain into your lower back from your bag.

You made the decision to not look back, figuring if something was getting close you’d hear it anyways. But really, you just don’t think your heart could take glancing back to be met with a whole ass wild animal chasing you down.

Why the fuck didn’t you have any bear spray on you? Oh that’s right, cause you go to college in the city and you never thought-

Your self scolding was cut short at the rapid sounds of soft pads of feet approaching and branches snapping coming up from your left side.

Holy shit.

“Help! Please!” You don’t know who you were calling out to, considering you still had a ways to go until you were out of the thick woods, and you were definitely too far from Maya’s house to be heard.

You almost puked at the idea of your friend walking out of her moms home to find your mauled and mutilated body.

The running was getting closer, you were tempted to look to your left to try to catch a glimpse of what could be chasing you; But before you could, a second figure emerged from the tree line to your right and disappeared behind you - a harsh wince and yelp echoing in the darkness.

You turned in time to see two figures barrel into the darkness, the noises coming from them - snarling, snapping, growling, wincing, crunching - they all made your stomach turn and bile sit at the back of your throat.

Your steps faltered a little as you came to a small stop - was that a fucking man?

Was that a person that went tumbling with the other mysterious animal? You didn’t care enough to wonder any longer and turned back around to continue running forward, your chest heaving and nostrils burning from the cold night air.

Thump

You heard the sound before you processed what you saw in front of you. Something was flung and landed in your path just a few feet ahead of you. Steam seemed to be coming from the mound.

Warily, you took a couple steps closer until you came to an abrupt halt, it’s a coyote - or rather was. It’s been ripped open; tattered bits of fur are surrounding the open… wound, the moonlight reflecting off the puddle of blood filling up around the corpse effectively confirming it wouldn’t be jumping to life anytime soon.

A world of mixed feelings washed over you: fear, relief, nausea, confusion - but none of them compelled you to move forward, to run home. You were frozen, terrified at the sudden realization that whatever did this was left for you to meet. Was it the thing chasing you earlier, or was that the coyote? Did it - or maybe he - save you? No, it was probably fighting off it’s competition for it’s next meal - you.

The sound of breathing behind you brought you back to the present. You were left with no choice.

With shaky legs and a queasy stomach, you turned to look up at what could’ve ripped that animal apart in a matter of seconds, to be met with… a man? You can’t fully tell in the dark, but whatever it is sets your nerves on edge and your body rigid with terror.

The figure that was towering over you, easily about 7 ft tall, was almost human. Big, broad shoulders rested on top of a pair of thick biceps, and you followed them all the way down to big, no massive, hands. Seemingly normal, minus his height, but something was off.

There were.. claws? Nails wouldn’t describe the silhouette with justice, they definitely looked like claws. You didn’t fail to notice the suspicious liquid, thick and heavy, dripping from the tips of its claws and onto the ground with an audible drip, either. And there was maybe some.. no definitely some hair, although it looks more like light patches fur, across what you’d assume are his- it’s- forearms.

The torso was one of a regular man, an absolutely ripped one, but a man nonetheless. You stopped bringing your gaze down when you saw the light hit a deep, defined v-line and a patch of happy trail that seemed to keep going, afraid of what you’d see if you kept looking down. But when you brought your eyes up, you weren’t put at any ease.

You locked eyes with a pair of bright golden ones, bright enough you didn’t need the help of the moon to see them peeking through tufts of silver hair. The moon did however illuminate the glistening deep red covering the bottom half of his face.

A hand came up to wipe his mouth with the back of it until his face was mostly clean, before he offered you a… smile? You weren’t sure if it was meant to be a comforting smile, or a threatening display of baring his teeth - because that’s all you could focus on. A prominent pair of sharp, white incisors - as well as an even longer pair of canines - sitting behind his lips.

Nothing was said between either of you, just those bright eyes boring into yours for what felt like an eternity, before you decided it was now or never.

Slipping a strap of your backpack off of you as quickly as you could manage, you swung it off your other arm in the direction of that thing with as much force as you could muster before turning to sprint back down the path.

But you didn’t make it far, barely even half a step, a grip on the back of your coat stopping your feet from carrying you any farther.

“Where are you going?” A voice, slightly soft and sounding genuinely curious, comes from behind you.

….. Did he just talk to me?

You were yanked back against his chest with little to no effort from him, and hit a surprisingly softer surface than you were imagining (not that you were imagining what his chest felt like) and warmth - enough warmth for you to feel the heat emitting from him through your puffy jacket.

Your body shuddered at the feeling of him bending down to your height behind you, his warmth surrounding you know, and his hair tickling your cheeks. He nosed at your jaw and neck, his breath also tickling you slightly as he took shallow breaths in.

Was he smelling you?

You whimpered quietly in surprise, and a bit of fear, when your head was yanked back suddenly, your neck now more exposed for him to explore. His tongue slipped past his lips to leave an experimental lick across your pulse, the breeze catching the wet patch and sending more chills down your body.

“Let me go.” You sounded firmer, more sure than you thought you would. But he must’ve read through your feigned confidence, because his grip didn’t loosen one bit, and instead he asked you,

“Why?”

You blinked, surprised your throat wasn’t ripped out as a response instead. Regardless, what the fuck were you supposed to say to that? It’s not as if you were prepared for a conversation, but what does he mean why?

“Because… I said so. And I… I have class in the morning.” You kept your stare up and jutted your chin out, hoping to god you looked unfazed while your mind ran through all possible options of what the hell could be going on right now.

“If I let you go, do you really think you could run from me?” He almost sounded genuine, like he wondered himself if you’d be able to get away from him, as if the answer wasn’t obvious.

You felt like you stopped breathing at his question, because you knew it was really more of a proposition. And his loosening grip only further proved your assumption.

“Go ahead, see how far you can get. I’ll even give you head start. Besides, I liked how you smelt when you were scared.” He made sure to bring his face closer to your neck as he spoke his last sentence before letting you go completely, smiling to himself as you stumbled forward. You didn’t even realize how close he had been holding you.

You jumped to your feet and turned to look at him one last time, a bright toothy smile on his face, before sprinting forward and around the tattered coyote with all your might.

It was almost embarrassing, how hard you were pushing yourself to run. Did you actually think you’d be able to get away from him, whatever he was? It didn’t matter how hard you tried to shake the negative thoughts out of your head - you felt hopeless and you’d barely even started. But the weight jostling in your coat pocket reminded you not all options were lost - your phone.

Pulling your phone out as you continued to run, you held it above your head in hopes of having some bars and - yes, you do! Just one, but one should be-

A tree root, another tree root.

You, and your phone, go flying forward for the second time tonight - but unfortunately not together.

It plays out like a scene out of a movie, you’re laying there on your chest with your hand reaching out as you watch your phone bounce and slide under a fallen log to the side of the dirt path. And when you stretch your head up to look, it’s nothing but overgrown wild berry bushes - bounds of thorns and thistles everywhere in your sight - and your phone was beneath it all.

Shuffling over as quickly as possible, you can barely see the glint of your phone screen in the darkness of the night, and it’s more than an arms length away.

That phone is your saving grace, you have no choice. You won’t be able to reach and crawl through the overgrown sticker bushes, but lucky enough there’s a small dip in the ground beneath the log - just enough for a person to slip through if they really had to.

Slipping your coat off, needing to have as much space as possible to get between the log and the ground, you tossed it across the path to the other side of trees. Maybe he’ll smell your scent and go the other way?

Don’t worry about it, just hurry the fuck up!

You drop to the ground swiftly, hoping and praying to yourself that the sounds of the small twigs snapping beneath your knees weren’t loud enough to call for that man- no, that things attention. Laying onto your stomach, you attempt to scramble underneath the fallen log to reach your phone, but it was a tighter squeeze than you had anticipated. You sucked in a deep breath and held back your winces as you did your best to ignore the pine needles scraping and stabbing into your skin, and stretched your arm until the tendons and muscles began to burn until you realized this was a fruitless venture. And now you’ve just wasted precious time.

Hoping this went unseen and that the damp forest floor beneath your body muffled all noises of your shimmying, you pushed back on your palms to make a hasty escape - but you didn’t budge.

Surely you were starting to get splinters from how hard you started to push your palms into the ground, but you weren’t moving. You took deep breaths and tried to stay calm, but it’s been too long. He’s definitely catching up by now. It’s not like you made it far either.

Pushing one more time, you moved just a tad, but the searing pain that ran across your lower back from the harsh bark of the log scratching you suddenly made you holler - which you definitely shouldn’t have done.

“What are you doing?” A familiar voice chuckled from behind you.

It didn’t take but 5 seconds for tears start to spill from your eyes and down your face, surprisingly the first time you’ve cried so far tonight.

You ball your fists up when you hear him stepping closer to you until he’s standing right next to your legs, he has to be judging by how warm you’re already getting.

A warm hand comes out to lift the bottom of your shirt up, your scratch stinging more as the cold wind whips across it.

“Oh, you should’ve been-“

“Please don’t kill me! Please just let me go - I won’t tell anyone what the hell happened! Or - or what I saw! Th-thank you for saving me from, the um-“

He was surprised, and confused, as you started to ramble, in front of him. It’s not like he was listening all the way anyways, he was far too focused on how compromising your position was.

“Just please don’t kill me, please…” You sniffled and let your forehead rest against the dirt, chest constricting at the thought of how helpless you are like this. You couldn’t even fight back if you wanted to.

“What makes you think I’m gonna kill you? You think that’s what I’ve been planning on doing to you?” A pair of strong hands pull your ass up by your hips slightly, and run along your inner thighs soothingly as they press them apart.

Your eyes go wide at the realization of what he’s implying, yet your stomach flips at the idea, too. You’re silent as you feel him maneuver around behind you…

It’s a much better option than dying, right?

“No- I- just, just let me go!” You do your best to squirm and tell him you don’t want his cock buried deep in you, but your body wants other things.

And you hate the way the thought doesn’t actually despise you immediately, instead a dull throb from your cunt responds to his desires, and he knows it, too. You gasp when he suddenly has his face buried between your thighs and against your jeans, inhaling your scent deeply.

“Oh, you smell better like this.”

It’s not fair - it’s not your fault that he’s not… ugly. And you can’t deny that the thought of how big he is, especially compared to you, doesn’t turn you on at least a little. It’s easier to make yourself think you want this - that’s what you’re telling yourself, that it’s probably just easier to… convince yourself the idea isn’t completely off putting.

I mean, he’s probably huge, so you’ll need to be properly prepared and soaked to take him anyways. You can be sure of that judging by his height alone, and just the sheer body mass of him. Not to mention how thick and broad he was when you first laid your eyes on him…

“Whadya thinkin about, baby? You’re really working yourself up, I’m not even touching you.” He laughs softly and your body goes hot at his words.

You get even more pissed at yourself at the way your body continuously reacts to him, but you aren’t given any more time to yell at yourself when your jeans are quite literally ripped off your lower half.

God, you’re so small and helpless beneath him, and he knows you love it just as much as he does - he can tell you do. He can smell how exciting this is for you, as if the way you’re practically dripping wasn’t telling enough.

He knew he wanted you the moment he saw you walking with your little friend earlier, knew he needed you. Not only that, knew he needed to breed you, make you his. He sat and waited, followed you on your way back and thought about how he should do it. He didn’t want to scare you - well, he thought he didn’t. But then that other animal started to stalk you, and your fear wafted off you in such potent waves, and you smelled so good, he couldn’t stop his dick from twitching as he watched you run.

But you were his to fuck, to play with, maybe even to keep; so he’d be damned if you got hurt.

The thought alone makes anger rise in his chest, but the sight of your damp panties brings him back down to earth and remind him of the goal at hand - to fuck you till all you can think about his how bad you need him to fill you up.

Bokuto growls behind you before dipping his head down to lick against the wet patch on your underwear. He groans at the faint taste of you and sits up to discard you of them completely, surprisingly slowly, and whines when he sees the strings of arousal connect and break from your needy cunt to your long and forgotten underwear.

He grabs onto your thighs with enough force for the tips of his claws to just slightly break the skin, but any discomfort is disregarded when he buries his face in your heat and messily shoves his tongue between your lips.

His tongue is hot and wet, and his eager movements to scoop up as much of you as he can taste makes your toes curl and your eyes clench shut in surprise.

Fuck, this feels really good.

He pulls back and pants, spitting down onto your ass and watches his saliva drip down onto your clenching hole.

“Fuck, already so needy for me to fill you up, huh?” His voice is raspy, and you no longer care how odd or humiliating this all is, how weak you are - you want him so bad.

But all you can do is whimper in response when he bites down onto the fatty part of your ass, surely leaving a mark, before going back to licking long, languid stripes against your cunt. Your eyes roll to the back of your head when you feel him move to start sucking on your clit with a need you’ve never felt any man please you with before.

Your thighs want to squeeze together but they can’t with the unmatchable strength he has, keeping you open and spread for him to do as he pleases to you. His constant sucking and licking on your clit suddenly becomes too much as you feel your orgasm coming close, your stomach clenching and thighs shaking.

“Ahh! Fuck!”

You scream when it hits, he’s relentless and doesn’t stop once throughout until your squirming bad enough to catch his attention, who’s unapologetically pussy drunk. He only stops and pulls away, giving you a break, cause he needs more.

He wants to taste you more, give you more, but he can’t with you stuck like this.

He sits up and wrenches the log off your body, a sigh of momentary bliss leaving your lips, before he pulls you out from where you were by your waist with his other arm.

Your vision isn’t clear from this perspective, you think you’re dangling upside down, slung over his shoulder, but before you know it he has you flipped back around and standing on your own two feet in front of him - and fuck were you right, he is big.

Bringing your gaze up, now eye level with his chest, you crane your head up to look at his face with wide eyes.

“C’mere.” You’re lifted up by the back of your thighs until your calves dangle at the sides of his waist with his arms resting under the bend of your leg, warm hands gripping your sides.

Instinctively, you reach up to wrap your arms around his neck, pressing chest to chest, irrationally scared that he (yes, the same man who previously tossed a log off your body like it was a twig) might drop you.

But all focus is lost on that thought when you feel the fat head of his cock - the girth of which you don’t even want to imagine right now - slide between your sticky lips, nudging against your swollen clit.

A whimper falls from his lips as he starts to poke and prod against your entrance, his head slowly pushing in and you can already feel the stretch of him. A small dose of fear mixed with an overwhelming amount of anticipation runs through your body. You can’t tell whether it’s your own lust clouded mind or some power he might have over you - but you need him now, greater than your apprehension for his size.

“Need you, need you now. Gotta fill my puppy up.” He huffs down at you and you can’t help but flutter a little around the tiny bit of him that’s made it’s way into you at the use of the nickname.

You nod against his chest and wiggle in his grasp, hoping he gets the idea that right now, that’s all you want, too.

He does his best to slowly sink you down onto him, but fuck the feeling is unbearable - you’re so warm and soft around his cock, and he can’t help but think about how it’s the perfect pussy for him to breed.

Biting down onto your shoulder, he sits you onto the rest of his cock, your cunt squelching and dripping onto his thighs and heavy balls. You yelp a little from the pain of it all; his sharp teeth sinking into your shoulder far enough to leave a scar, with the vague feeling of a small trickle of something warm dripping down your back, and the burn from the way you’re stretching around him. But the first time he lifts you off to slam back into you, all you can think about is how bad you need to come around his cock.

Your head leans back and your jaw goes slack, his pelvis - dawning a furry patch of pussy soaked coarse hair - rubbing against your clit with each roll of his hips. It’s like he’s hitting every spot inside of you at the same time, too, repeatedly brushing against the one that has you drooling and whining: “please, please, please!”

He leans his head down to speak into your ear, panting heavily with each smack of skin, “Yeah? Wanna make you feel good before I fill this dirty pussy up.“

Giving an unexpected tender kiss to your neck, he growls before picking up his pace - thrusting in and out of you hard enough to have your head rocking back and forth.

Fuck, you were so close.

Reaching a shaky hand down, trusting his strength to keep you up, you rub weak but rapid circles onto your clit. Thankfully, not much more effort needed to be exerted from you for you to reach your climax.

Bokuto presses kisses into your mouth, open in a silent scream, as you squeeze around his cock and twitch in his arms.

Leaving a gentle kick across your lips, he groans and whines before his thrusts still - your own orgasm enough to nearly make him pass out from the sensation - as he shoots his hot seed into you. He has so much, the inside of you not nearly enough for it all, as it spurts out onto the sides of his thick cock.

You’re not sure how long he held you in his arms like this, swearing you were going in and out of consciousness by the end, but eventually you feel him pull himself out of you that leaves you with an emptiness you couldn’t begin to describe.

But rather than being set down, you’re still held in his arms. The warmth from him is overwhelmingly soothing now, lulling you to sleep as your exhaustion starts to take over you. There’s only vague murmurs of something sounding like “keeping you safe”, or “keeping you home”; but right now that’s the last thing you care to think about as his hands rub up and down your back.

That’s something for tomorrow you to worry about, just like tomorrow you will worry about where your backpack with all that hard work went. However, you have a feeling deep in your gut that your missing bag will be the last of your worries in the morning.

——————

taglist: @plutowrites @touyaz

[bananarantanen]

what about number 5 from home by catie turner with the loml veggie bf cale makar please and thank you <3

word count: 800+

“you are so important to me.” ► home by catie turner

hope u enjoy this abby !!! <333

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

“one cup nutella?”

“check.”

“¾ flour?”

“prepped and done.”

“one egg?”

“right here,” cale says, throwing up it in the air with one hand and catching it with the other.

“geez,” you scold, grabbing it out of his hand and placing it back on the counter top gently. “i’m pretty sure that’s your last one. if it breaks before it makes it into the batter, we’re screwed.” the red in his cheeks begins to pepper his face and a cheeky smile is all he replies with. you slightly open your mouth to poke at him again but you can’t bring yourself to actually do it because all you can stare at is his “mr. good lookin’ is cookin'” apron. you’re not a fashion expert by a long mile but god, it was ugly.

earlier on in the day you had contemplated buying matching couples chef’s hats, knowing the date night he had scheduled for you two involved some time in the kitchen. the avs had extended their practice, leaving you to grab all the needed supplies. however once you had texted cale pictures of your hat options while you were at the mall, you were confused (to say the least) when your phone screen read:

veggie lover boy <3

dwbi. i got something already. see you later and get home safe! i love you :)

he notices your fixated gaze and tugs at his apron. “what? you not like it? it was a last minute secret santa gift from mikko.”

“no, babe, it’s perfect,” you try to reassure, placing your hands on his chest. “i love anything that speaks truth… even though we’re technically baking right now.”

“okay, okay, we both know i cook more than i bake around here. that’s why you’re here to give me baking lessons. i need to balance out my skills,” he responds as he gestures to the setup in front of you. there wasn’t much laid out on the counter, just a wooden spoon and medium sized bowl that you had to pull from the back of cale’s pantry being the main tools needed. still, he grinned proudly at the fact that he somewhat managed to have anything to bake with in general.

“k then mr. hockey, cooking and soon-to-be baking allstar,” you announce while clapping your hands together. “let’s get to it!”

you two first met at umass based on the fact that the dining hall was not particularly blessed with the best food options. you would always greet each other as you lined up for breakfast and dinner, both agreeing that it’d be better if you made your own meals during your multiple accounts of small talk. then, once the realization came about that he had a knack for cooking and you baked, your little tradeoff began — you’d drop off breakfast in the morning at his dorm, and he’d cook dinner for you two at least three times a week to lessen your visits to the dining hall. to your surprise, one thing led onto the next and now you’re catching multiple flights a year from amherst to colorado to do more than drop off some baked goods at his doorstep.

this time around, you had only picked a simple three ingredient nutella cookie recipe knowing it was something he could whip up easily for future reference when you weren't there. as well as the fact that nutella crepes were one the first things you made for him. it was subtle, nevertheless it reminded you of the start of the relationship and has quickly grown to become one of your favourite ingredients to incorporate.

“what are you looking at?” you question as you begin mixing together the egg and nutella.

“mhm?”

you drop your hands to the side of the bowl and look up towards the boy peering over your shoulder. “you’re being extra smiley right now.” it was kind of odd for someone who had recently come home from practice, his hair still damp from the shower he took.

he huffs and grabs the loops of your pants, twirling you around so he could fully engulf you in his arms. “you are so important to me,” he lovingly answers and you can feel his thumping heartbeat against your chest. you’re taken aback by his sudden gesture but you can’t help but melt like butter once you hear him utter those words.

long distance is difficult to navigate enough and though you’re not the jealous type, it's hard to keep your emotions in check knowing there are hundreds of other girls out there chanting his name every night. cale is not the guy you can ever worry about. yet, missing him is sometimes enough to pull you into a drain of circling thoughts.

“i don’t know, just being here with you, coming home to you and baking or cooking or whatever, it feels so right. you are my favourite person in the world and i can’t picture life looking any different.”

you grab his face in your hands and smile sweetly, taking in what he had said. “cale douglas makar, you’re my favourite person in the whole world too,” is all you can come up with, and all the doubts from the countless nights without him slowly trickle away as soon as those words leave your lips.

yeah, he’s completely your’s.

-

taglist (sign up here, if u want!): @sorryjustafangirl @corneliakatelyn

[cornfarm]

summertime cicadas

saiki kusuo x reader

word count: 1.6k

synopsis: you go to saiki’s place to play some video games. saiki learns a bit about your dirty laundry.

cw: suggestions of past sexual abuse. it’s not explicitly stated but it’s heavily implied.

genre: fluff, hurt/comfort

reader is gender neutral!

===================================================

notes:

i’ve had this sitting in my drafts for a few weeks now, but i was never happy with it.

it’s implied that you and saiki are in week 2-4 of dating;;;

i have some other stuff in the works but im tired so notes r boring today

enjoy waaaaaa

===================================================

When Saiki and you were left alone together, the tension that hung in the air was fun and playful. Coy glances, the heart jittering brushes of skin, and the almost knowing smiles you two would shoot each other. This time around, it was heavy, and it weighed hefty on both your shoulders.

It was your first time over at his place since you had begun dating.

You had texted him: can i come over? i bought a new game i wanna play it with u

He was very happy you decided to make the first move, he didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable. 

Immediately, the “devlivered” at the corner of your text changed to “read”. He hastily typed back: Sure, let me know when you’re here. My parents aren’t home.

You saw letters on your screen, but you squinted your eyes shut upon them entering your field of vision. You had thrown your phone across the room, too nervous to look at his response. Tentatively picking it up, your heart nearly exploded at his words. You quickly respond: okay! be there soon :)

Saiki suddenly felt a bit on edge, realization finally striking him that you were about to be in his presence. In his bedroom. Alone. 

Saiki Kusuo never really felt things too intensely, so to feel it strike at his heart and stomach was almost a bit too much for his liking. 

Saiki wound up sitting patiently at the dining room table, using his telekensis to pick things up, rearrange ornaments and fine china, and clean up trash. The last thing he wants is you coming over when the place is a mess.

The doorbell rang, not that he needed it to know you were here. Beckoning you in, you pull out a small disc box from your bag. 

“I heard really good reviews from it. I was interested in it since I liked the art style but I wanted to wait until people played it and reviews came out before I committed.”

He takes it from your hands to inspect it, “I’m not super interested in recent games, I like older ones a bit more. Indie ones too. I’ve heard that the gameplay is really compelling.”

“That’s okay, we can still play together, right?” You almost look a bit nervous. Saiki gnawed at the inside of his lip.

“Sure,” you don’t look satisfied, “I don’t mind, doing things with you is nice.”

The content expression on your face satisfies him. You follow him upstairs.

Then the tension settles. You’re so close, the pleasant floral scent from your detergent lingering where you walk. He peers behind you as you take in his room: simple, clean, minimalistic. It’s painfully in character. You smile, flopping face down on his bed.

“I’ve only ever been here with everyone else, it was so lively then, but it’s so different when it’s quiet!” You situate yourself so you’re sitting at the edge of his bed, legs dangling off the side.

“It’s the same room.”

“Yeah but, now it’s just me and you.”

“I suppose so.”

You watch as he peers to the wall, a bit away from you.

“What, you’re not nervous are you? Do I make you, THE Saiki Kusuo nervous?”

He clicks his tongue, and begins stalking towards you. He stops right in front of you, shins nearly touching the mattress of his bed. He looks down, expression deadpanned like usual. Perhaps thats precisely why you got so flustered. Your hands coming to clasp politely in your lap, you look up at him, determined to hold eye contact.

“Mhm,” he smirks, “you do. What will you do about it?”

He watches as your lips part into a small ‘o’, before you turn your head down and begin to pout. He’ll spare you this time. The small proximity between you settles in; he should get out of here, nervousness is finally catching up, it’s a bit too much for him to handle. For such a cocky one-liner, he really can’t keep it together. He exits his room for a moment with a brief “wait here”.

He hears you let out a sigh down the hall. Taking the chance to inspect his belongings, you peer under his bed, nothing suspicious there, before making your way to his desk. There’s his computer, a nice leather desk chair, a lamp, and a small empty mug that holds pens, pencils, and highlighters. You thumb through them.

He re-enters his room, quietly opening the door, but just enough so where you hear. Outstreching his arm, he hands you a bottle of iced tea.

“This is,” inspecting the label, “you don’t usually drink these, right?”

Saiki stays quiet.

“So you got it for me? You remembered I liked it?” 

He nods.

You beam at him, mutter your gratitude, and pull out the games box.

Placing the disc onto the disc reader, and pushing it in, you start up the game, and watch the intro animation. 

“Yeah, the graphics are really nice,” he comments.

You adjust yourself, sitting on top a cushion on the floor, he moves a bit closer. 

Skipping though dialog, tutorials, and the first few levels of the game, Saiki controller finally begins responding. 

“I’m sorry, I thought the multiplayer feature would be available from the start.”

“It’s okay, you can pick first”

“Hmm...” you pause, brows furrowing in focus as you look through the different player avatar options. Finally, you turn to him and smile, “this one! Your turn.”

Saiki bites at the inside of his lip, again, moving his thumb over the joystick, he picks his avatar.

It’s nice, it’s quiet, the sound of cicada’s chirping outside his bedroom window, and the soft hum of his fan are gentle. Neither of you are talking about grand things like aspirations and inhibitions, but you didn’t have to. The soft, casual tone of conversation is something Saiki’s making sure to cherish. The game’s fun, Saiki is enjoying himself, he enjoys you. 

But tension still looms heavy overhead. You aren’t the only one who was thinking about it, how close you two were, how your elbows kept bumping, the small,and the way you both tried to get just a millimeter closer.

Saiki knew what you wanted, but he couldn’t pull himself to take initiative. Why? Was nervousness just another curse set out to plague him?

He’s reading your mind, he knows without a doubt you want to, so why is he so nervous to reach out and touch you? He wants to run away.

“Saiki?”

Your voice broke his thoughts, he turns to you. “Are you okay?”

He does it without thinking, slowly placing the controller down and putting his palms on your shoulders. 

“I’m just not used to this,” he finally says, “like, dating and all that.”

You wrap your fingers around his wrists, “that’s okay, I’ve never dated anyone either, we can just take it slow. We have time.” You reassure, “I’m nervous too,” voice smaller than before. He lifts his hands off, hovering them in front of you, debating on where he should put them. Should he put them back on your shoulders, or would that be weird? Maybe it’s okay if he takes your hands into his, but right now your hands are...

His vision finally focuses, and he looks at your hands, defensively positioned in front of your chest with your palms facing him. You’re looking at him with a half smile, but your brows are pursed down. You’re watching him very carefully.

Your thoughts still, pausing until he moves again, taking your hands in his own. He’s confused, why do you look so skittish?

You look visibily confused that he takes your hands. He’s granted one thought:

He’s not gonna do anything, see? He’s just holding my hands, that’s it. He’s not gonna do anything.

Do what? What do you mean? Do what?

“What do you mean?” He blurts out, voice ringing through your head.

Astonishment paints your face. Shit, you didn’t think you said anything out loud. Could he read your mind? He chooses not to say anything.

You shake your arms, he retracts his hands.

“I’ve just had bad experiences with people in the past, I got nervous, that’s all. I’m sorry.”

Oh. Your internal dialog isn’t as pleasant as the words you choose to say. 

“Maybe I’ll tell you about it more in the future,” you still have the strength to smile at him?

He reaches out to touch you again, but never connecting. He hesitates this time, fingers hovering over your forearm. 

“I’m not really interested in that sort of stuff. I wouldn’t do that to you. I won’t do that to you,” he corrects.

With a smile pained with melancholy, you shift yourself forward, wrapping your arms around his torso, burying your face into his shoulder, legs finding their way between his. He wastes no time wrapping his own arms around your back, pressing your chest closer to his own. Your hearts pound against each other, breathing syncing as you both exhale a sigh. 

“I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“I know,” your voice is muffled. 

You stay like that for a few moments. Cicada’s chirping, fan blowing, there’s nothing to say- the silence is comforting in it’s own way.

You finally pull away from him, voice much brighter, “but I’m not ready to kiss you yet, I think my heart would explode!” He flushes red. Adjusting to sit back onto the cushion, you lean your weight onto his side. He tension has finally settled, and Saiki sighs contently. 

Saiki only uses his powers in ways to convinience himself. Fortunately, keeping you safe was more than convinient to him: it was the bare minimum- an absolute necessity. 

As soon as you leave, he’ll find the bastards that did it. 

[pigeonp0st]

could u do nat taking care of r when r gets sick (pretty please i beg of u)? preferably lots of cuddles 🥺🥺

idk i just love soft!nat 🥺

Natasha Romanoff x Reader #5

Words: 1,689

Warnings: none?

Notes:

I didn’t really like how this one turned out but i’ve finally decided that staring at it in my drafts with disappointed isn’t gonna make it any better...so here it is. Thank you for requesting, and sorry for spelling mistakes. Hope you enjoy!

———

It started with a cold. Just a couple of sneezes, a runny nose, and a sore throat...the usual.

It started out with you trying your best to hide it. Hide the sickness. That plan went under the moment Natasha heard you sneeze during training... she had you confessing to your sins much too quickly.

Suffice to say she immediately kicked you out of the training area with demands to take some medicine.

So she was the first to realize that you were sick, and she was the first to realize you were getting worse instead of better. She’d pester you endlessly when you wouldn’t want to talk about it, and watch over you like a hawk.

It was sweet, but you also didn’t think it was necessary. You were sure you’d be fine in three or so days.

How wrong you were.

When you wake up with a 103° fever for the third day in a row it has you layed in bed for the whole day groaning about the inequalities of the world, and begging Natasha not to get a doctor for the 100th time.

You were fine. Totally fine.

Natasha watches you with a mix of amusement and concern from the corner of the room and suggests, gently, that maybe you’re not.

You peak over your covers to glare at her in something like betrayal. “I’d be fine if you’d stop pacing and come cuddle with me.”

She seems to think about her options for a long moment and right when you think she’s going to reject you she relents with a heavy sigh and gets into the bed.

She’s so blissfully cold it has you snuggling into her side immediately, both to warm her up and use her as your own personal ice pack.

“You’re burning up,” Natasha whispers, but she pulls you closer to her—like somehow if she’s close enough she can absorb some of your pain and make you feel just that little bit better. “If your fever rises even a little bit we’re going to the doctors, okay?”

She’s concerned and worried, and even though a stranger fussing over you is the last thing you want you know you have to give her this.

As soon as you nod your head in agreement some of the tension seeps out of her body, much to your relief. As ridiculous as it is, you’re worried about her worried about you—if that makes sense.

“Around 100,000 people died from the flu in 2019,” Natasha mumbles against your forehead. She adds quietly after a moment, “just in case you were wondering.”

You were not wondering. What the fuck.

“Nat...that statistic is mostly old people.”

“Yeah,” Nat agrees, “you’ll be fine.”

And despite your body's protest, and how much of a pain it is to pull away, you do, just so you can give Natasha an incredulous look so she knows just what you think about what she’s doing right now.

Her face is unexpectedly vulnerable when you see it. She isn’t trying to bother you...she’s just…she’s worrying herself crazy.

“Nat,” you sigh, ready to embark on the most comforting and articulate speech you can think of, but a sudden fit of coughs has you turning away hurriedly to muffle your face in a pillow.

When your lungs finally decide to stay in your body for now, and Natasha stops rubbing your back, you’re too tired to try and comfort her, so instead you mumble, on the verge of sleep, “if I die; just know I love you.”

Which, in hindsight, probably doesn’t help much.

But she doesn’t sound worried when she replies, just exasperated and fond. “I love you, too.”

———-

When you wake up again it’s to a bunch of kisses and beautiful red hair.

“Stop attacking me,” you grumble, trying to push her away, but you're not able to hide your smile. God, you love your badass (soft) girlfriend.

“Look who's not dead!”

Remembering your last words to her before you went to sleep has you finally opening your eyes and giving Nat a sheepish smile. Oops. “Look who really wants to get sick…”

“My immune system is stronger than yours,” Natasha scoffs, shoving both your medicine at you and a bottle of water.

“Asshole,” you mumble, moving to open the medicine bottle only to get stopped by a hand on your wrist. “What?”

“You need to eat first.”

Thus, starts the trip towards death.

————

“Oh my god, how much farther is it…”

Your fever is finally down and back to safer levels so naturally Natasha has insisted that you’re able to go to the kitchens yourself and sit outside to eat.

You need fresh air, she said.

The room is getting stuffy, she said.

It’ll be good for you, she said.

What a fucking devil.

“You’re literally the most dramatic person to ever grace this earth,” Natasha tells you for only the millionth time since the journey began. “Maybe if you stopped sliding against the wall and crawling on the floor like you got shot three times we’d get there faster.”

“Maybe if you’d help me—”

“I tried! But apparently i’m ruining your image.” She rolls her eyes when she says that, then turns away to grin like she thinks you won’t notice.

You’re a whipped idiot who's decided to make a complete full of yourself and waste what little energy you have just to get your girlfriend to laugh, and to prove to her that you’re doing better.

You’re definitely going to regret this later, but now, in the moment; This is totally worth it. No doubt.

————

Wanda is in the kitchen.

As soon as you see her you straighten up and stop leaning on the wall (and limping). Natasha laughs next to you when she notices.

“You’re doing better, Y/N?” Wanda asks, glancing over you before returning back to the soup she’s making. For you. She’s making soup for you.

You adore her. She’s your favorite person, she’s—

“Not your girlfriend,” Wanda interjects, amused, “and doing this as a concerned teammate, and because your girlfriend asked.”

“Yes, well I love you anyways. Your cooking has gotten very good,” you say, shooting her a grin while you practically bounce to the dining chair, in stark contrast to the way you were dragging yourself down the halls.

Natasha does a good job at trying to not look confused, but she clearly is. Unfortunately, or fortunately, Wanda informs her before you get the chance to.

“Favorite person for making you soup?” Natasha asks once Wanda’s done relaying your thoughts. She narrows her eyes at you then. “Not the person who has been taking care of you since you became an avenger, not the person who—”

“It’s very good soup, Nat.”

“Very,” Steve agrees from the living room.

Natasha sighs, takes a sniff of the soup, and resigns herself to the facts she’s faced with. “Yeah...it is.”

——-

“Close your mouth,” Natasha orders, tapping your chin. You listen, waiting patiently for the beep of the thermometer to signal it’s done.

When it does, Natasha pulls it back to study it. There’s a small lapse of anxious silence before Natasha reveals the results. Then...“Ninety-Nine. You’re officially a healthy woman.”

And with that, you’re finally free of the bed rest and able to walk the halls as a newly restored human being.

“I’m free,” you shout, tackling Natasha onto the bed and kissing her all over her face, completely overjoyed. “Natasha, I survived!”

You survived. It only took an exhausting week. When your fever went down a couple of days ago it spiked to 105° a bit after and you were sure you were going to suffocate in Natasha’s worry because of it. You had to go to the medical room...it was awful.

But now Nat laughs, and laughs, and then pulls you into a tight hug to stop all of the kissing. She seems to be unburdened and lighter now that she finally has the numbers she’s wanted.

“Loving you as much as I do is really just living in this constant state of worry and fear,” Natasha says when you’ve both settled down. “I do not like things being out of my control,” she admits, kissing the crown of your head. “Especially when it involves my heart.”

“Your heart,” you repeat, curious. “Is that what I am?”

“Ignoring the worry and fear part?” Natasha teases, quirking an eyebrow.

“We both know those feelings are accompanied with a multitude of good and beautiful emotions. I feel them too.”

Natasha smiles then, soft and gentle, and full of admiration. “Yes.”

You tilt your head. “Yes...what?”

“Yes, you are my heart. Or at least you feel like you are.”

At that, with a determination and seriousness that visibly shocks Natasha you say, “i’ll protect it. I’ll protect myself, and because you're mine also, I'll help protect you. Always.”

“Always,” Natasha agrees, her fingertips trailing across your cheek. “Thank you, Y/N.”

“Yeah,” you mumble, embarrassed suddenly, “of course.”

————

“Are...are you serious?”

Natasha scowls into her tea and says nothing in response. This is fucking hilarious.

Your lovely girlfriend doesn’t seem to think so because the second she sees your face struggling not to laugh she begins glaring at you. “Don’t,” Nat warns. “Don’t you fucking dare—”

“I seem to recall you saying, and I quote, ‘my immune system is stronger than yours.’” You grin. “Oh how ironic this is.”

“I’m not sick—”

“Aw, but baby, the amount of tissues on the floor seem to be saying otherwise,” you gesture towards the growing pile, feeling absolutely no sympathy until Natasha glances at the pile with a sigh of defeat. She looks so small and sad covered in her pile of blankets...it simply won’t do. “Don’t fret, my love. I will take care of you, just as you took care of me,” you assure her, leaning down to kiss her forehead.

“First things first,” you tilt her chin up, “i’ll get Wanda to make you some soup so you can take some medicine.”

“I hate the world,” Natasha grumbles, mumbling some curses in russian.

“I love you, too.”

[biggest-stupidhead]

hello love! can i request erwin x fem reader smut where they're quite the opposite, and after a mission they're tired and just fuck (maybe in the woods or something) because they're so stressed but also because they've been wanting to do it long before? like everyone feels the tension between them except they don't wanted to admit it? thanks! i love your blog. 🥺✨

Hey babes, of course! Thanks for sending this one in, I love writing for Levi but I need to switch it up sometimes lol. 

Warnings: lowkey hatefucking, intercourse obvi,  fucking in da woods, wrap it before u tap it!, unprotected sex. 

Summary: Erwin is selfish, but it’s okay because you are too. 

Word Count: 2.4K 

__

Your breathing was uneven as you hunched over, chest rising erratically. Your blades were dull and gas was running low, you tapped on the cans ruefully, the dull din signaling how empty the canisters truly were. You were just starting to regain your senses when the sound of hoofbeats startled you. Hange tugged the reins of her horse, the beast turned its head and bared its teeth when she pulled so harshly on the bit. 

“Excellent work! That was a clean cut.” Hange complimented as she smiled wryly down at you. You nodded and lifted your fingers to your lips and whistled for your own mount. 

“Thanks, it was a big one too. I’ll have to find the supply wagons though, gas is almost gone.” You said as you tossed the dulled blades off to the side and slide the handles of the gear back into the scabbards. 

“Ah you’ll have to work on that.” Hange said, her head swiveling to keep watch while you waited for your horse to return. A few moments passed before the sound of your horse trampling through the foliage alerted of its return. You caught it by the reins and threw yourself onto its back.  

“Let’s return to the formation then.” Hange said, once again roughly jerking her horse into the right direction, you close on her heels. The two of you rode through the trees at break neck speed, trying to make up for lost time. You finally managed to make out the sight of Erwin and Levi, their own steeds galloping back in the direction of the wall. 

“What’s going on!? I haven’t caught my titan yet!” Hange wailed when you reunited with the other pair. 

“Too many casualties.” Levi quipped, expression sour and hands bloodied. You rolled your eyes and clutched the reins harder. 

“We just need a few more minutes, let’s not call it off yet.” You insisted and Hange exclaimed excitedly at the shared sentiment. 

“Won’t be possible, we can’t risk loosing more lives. There’s been enough bloodshed for one day.” Erwin’s voice was tense and his blue eyes were icy as he shot you and Hange down. 

“I don’t see why it matters, if we already have lost most of our men...why not push onwards?” You weren’t sure if you really felt that way, or if you were looking for a fight. You were well aware of how Levi felt about losing his men, and how little Erwin truly cared about loosing lives. You knew that was what separated the two of them, Erwin only cared for his own selfish goals, although he hid it well. Levi on the other hand truly cared for the soldiers, and wanted victory for humanity. 

“Shut your filthy fucking mouth.” Levi hissed, gunmetal eyes dark and jaw tense as he bit back his words, waiting for Erwin to tell you off. 

“We simply don’t have the means at this time.” Erwin said simply, eyes trained forward. You glowered at him, you couldn’t deny that you held some malice towards him, for his seeming lack of empathy towards his men. But could you blame him? You had joined the scouts for your own selfish desires as well, he just had the power to ensure that his desires were acted upon. 

“Very well.” You growled, leaning into your horse’s neck as the four of you picked up the pace. Erwin lifted a flare gun and fired the signal into the air for retreat. 

__

The march into the gates and through Shiganshina was brutal as always. The citizens murmured of their wasted tax dollars and the waste of human life. You silently agreed with them, glaring at the back of Erwin’s perfect blonde head. You wanted nothing more than to scream at him, maybe even slap him, then you’d fuck- wait no. Not that last part, you shook your head in an attempt to rid the vulgar thoughts from your mind. 

The castle was notably vacant when you arrived. Having lost so many men, the grounds were less busy than usual. You wandered around, having already put your horse away and assisted with the unloading of the excess supplies. You were grateful for the summer breeze, the last rays of light poking through the trees. You wandered off towards the thicket of trees that rested between the castle and the mountain range beyond. 

The sounds of the forest seeped into your bones and reminded you of your home, your family, why you had originally agreed to this regiment. You were so caught up in your own thoughts, you almost didn’t hear the twig snapping off to your right. You whipped your head towards the noise, catching the flash of blonde hair and a stark white dress shirt. 

“Following me?” You growled, turning to face him fully, Erwin’s cold blue eyes shone in the dim light. 

“To an extent.” He shrugged nonchalantly and you bristled at the admission. 

“Come to ravage me?” You pushed, wanting a reaction from the usually stoic man. 

“Not exactly.” 

“Then what? You men are simple creatures after all, only so many motives behind your dull eyes.” You bit, unable to keep the frustrations from your tone. Erwin’s thick brows pinched together at your words. 

“I came to tell you that....I want you to be a squad leader.” Erwin’s jaw ticked as he waited for your response. You let out a scoff of disbelief, eyes shining with mirth. 

“Why? Because I showed a fraction of the coldness that you display?” You hissed, marching across the small amount of space between you and attempted to get in his face. Although it was difficult seeing as how tall he stood. 

“Precisely.” Erwin’s voice was a bit airy, eyes now seeming to shine with something besides the cunning that usually resided in them. You narrowed your own eyes and let loose a growl fisting the front of his shirt as you considered your options. 

If you accepted the position, you would be no better than him. But then again were you really any better in the first place? 

“I’ll do it.” You released him and took a step back, determination gleaming in your eyes. 

“I knew that you would.” He smirked, lips curling into an annoying grin, making your stomach flip. 

“Could this not have waited until morning?” You asked, eyes drifting to the last glimmers of sunlight that spotted the forest floor. 

“I suppose it could have...but I wanted to see you before then.” You wrinkled your nose in disgust, earlier suspicions proving true. 

“Oh really?” You huffed with a dramatic roll of your eyes. Erwin’s expression darkened, and he took. a step forward, invading your space. You stood as tall as you possibly could, not wanting to let on how nervous you really felt in his suffocating presence. 

“I wanted to ask you...why you are so bent on challenging my authority.” It wasn’t a question, more of a statement, putting you on the ropes. You glowered at him, his chest bumping yours, prompting you to take a few healthy steps back. Which you did, until your back met the rough bark of an oak tree. 

“Why should I listen to someone who holds no regard to human life?” You snarled in response, but it felt more like a yelp, your heartbeat picked up as his hand gripped the tree, trapping you between his towering figure and the large tree. 

“I can’t help but wonder if it could have something to do with the way you stare at me….” His breath tickled your face as he craned his head down, your cheeks lit up as you blushed. 

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You denied, although it was true, you had developed a bad habit of seeking out his form in the dining hall. Watching him too closely during meetings. He was attractive, that was an undeniable fact, but the resentment that you held for him had always prevented you from seeking out anything more than the professional relationship that had been established. 

“I know you do, I’ll only offer this once and never again. I’ve had this on my mind for a while now, if you aren’t interested then we can pretend that this never happened.” He paused, gauging your reaction as you looked up at him in shock. 

“I want to fuck you. Right here.” He pointed his finger towards the ground and his eyes flashed with an animosity you’d never seen before. 

“H-Here?” You stammered, unsure of what to think, but the ache between your thighs was quickly overcoming your senses. 

“Yes.” His other hand slid up your side and rested over the strap of your gear over your breasts. 

“What will it be then squad leader?” He hummed as he toyed with the buckle. You swallowed thickly but managed to nod curtly, not wanting to verbally admit your attraction to your commander. 

“Use your words.” He ordered, tugging harshly on the strap, pulling you flush against his chest. You gasped, head tilting up to meet his cold gaze. 

“I….want you to fuck me commander.” You grew more confident with each word, and you could see the pleased smirk curling over Erwin’s features. 

“Glad we finally agree on something.” He huffed, fingers easily unbuckling the strap and then deftly unbuttoning your blouse. As he did so he walked you back against the tree, he left your shirt on, instead favoring unbuttoning your trousers. You gripped his jacket as he slid his hand down to cup your pussy. He chuckled at how wet you were, his large fingers gathering your slickness before slipping into you. You let out another gasp and pushed his jacket off of his shoulders, he withdrew from you to help you undress him as well. You only got to undo his pants before he pressed his lips to yours, tongue pushing past your lips.  

He leaned down and scooped you up, hands supporting the backs of your thighs as he used the tree to keep you steady. Your head hit the tree roughly as he continued to attack your mouth, you could do nothing but open your mouth to meet his lips. He slid one of his hands up and gripped the waistband of your pants, pulling them just below your knees, it was a bit of a struggle due to the position he had you in. But you got there eventually. The air felt cool against your exposed sex, and you found yourself blushing crimson as he pressed you harder into the tree so that he could free his cock. You bit your lip in anticipation as he finally managed to pull himself free of his pants. 

He pulled away from your lips, eyes lidded and clearly focused on lining himself up to your entrance. You hissed when the head of his cock slid effortlessly along the length of your pussy. Finally he pressed the tip inside of you, pausing as he shifted to grip both of your thighs and gain better leverage. 

“Erwin please.” You whimpered, rocking your hips in an attempt to get him to fully sheath himself. 

“Beg for it.” He hissed, breath hot against the shell of your ear before his tongue darted out and licked a stripe up the side of your neck. 

“I-I need you so bad, please I need you to fuck me.” Your hands clawed at his shoulders as you used your core to keep yourself upright and legs spread for him. 

“Good girl.” He growled, finally snapping his hips and sheathing himself in one thrust. You groaned at the fullness, walls stretching to accommodate his size. His own breathing seemed to grow more erratic as he began to rock his hips back and forth. Your back burned from the friction of rubbing against the tree behind you. There was no doubt about you having some kind of scratch in the morning. 

You threw your head back against the trunk of the tree as he picked up the speed, hands roaming up from your thighs to your ass, you clenched your legs to wrap around his waist. Your muscles burned but the coil that was building in your stomach kept you motivated, wanting nothing more than to cum over his cock. 

He grunted as you twitched around him, his hips somehow seemed to gain more speed, nose burying between the space between your neck and shoulder. You felt him leave a wet kiss there before sucking harshly on the skin. You tilted your head in the opposite direction, giving him more room as he lapped his tongue along the newly exposed skin. 

“E-Erwin I think that-” 

“Wait.” He snarled against your throat, biting it a bit roughly, you moaned wantonly at the action and dug your heels into the small of his back. His cock stroked along the rigid spot inside of you and you nearly screamed, barely containing your orgasm as he had asked you to. He struck that spot relentlessly, hips meeting yours harshly as he pounded into you. 

“Just like that.” He groaned as he pushed you flat against the tree, using all of his strength to keep you there as he drove into you. 

“Please Erwin let me cum.” You sobbed as he bit your collarbone, his dick twitched inside of you at your plea, he pulled back, icy eyes locked on your wrecked face as tears rolled down your cheeks. 

“Only since you’ve been such a good girl.” He growled, and reached down between your legs, you tightened your grip on his shoulders to make up for the lost support as he pressed his calloused finger to your throbbing clit and rubbed tight circles. Your legs twitched as you felt the coil snap and your cunt clamped down around his dick. He hissed at the sudden tightness and groaned as he came as well. You felt the warmth trickle out of you as he pulled away. He held you up as you shook, coming down from the high he had given you. 

“See what we can do when we work together?” He chuckled darkly, hand toying with your bra as you clung to his neck. 

“Keep dreaming eyebrows.” You huffed, pulling away from him and shakily pulling your pants up. He tucked himself back into his pants and picked up his jacket from the forest floor. 

“See me in my office tomorrow and we will discuss your promotion.” He called after you as you marched back towards HQ, cheeks burning from the interaction you’d just had with your commander. You threw your hand up dismissively, trying to ignore the dark chuckle he let out when he saw how flustered you were. 

Maybe he wasn’t all that bad after all….

[pregnant-piggy]

Reminds me of home

Jesper Fahey x reader

words: 5.5k

warnings: mentions of food and animals, reader’s mother is dead, no pronouns used for the reader

A/N: this is my first time writing Jesper, so I struggled with his character and don’t think this is totally right, but I loved writing this too much not to share it with you :) please let me know what you think, thank you!

The sun was setting slowly in the sky, painting orange strikes on a gradually darkening canvas, when Jesper checked the note in his hand one final time, before stepping onto the driveway of the old farmhouse. Around the farmhouse lay a yellow-green grass lawn, with on the left side of the house a little garden with flower beds in full bloom. Behind the house stood the stables and sounds of breezing horses and bleating goats filled the air, along with the lingering scent of drying grass. 

The front of the house was covering in shadow, the red bricks and woodwork a tone darker than they would be in the sunlight. Above the front door hung a single lamp, and the flickering of the fire inside of it wasn’t enough to compete with the light of the setting sun. 

Jesper groaned as he walked over the driveway to the front door. He wondered what the odds were that he had pulled the farm out of the stack with hideouts. 

A week ago, Kaz had come with his plans for a new job. This time the victim was a rich merchant, who had a large estate in the country lands outside of Ketterdam. The merchant’s name was Klaas Rover and he was well-known in wealthy circles. 

Just recently, Rover had bought a very pricey DeKappel painting and Kaz had found out that he was moving the painting to his country-estate at the beginning of that week. The basics of the plan had been easy. As long as Rover wasn’t at the house and the painting was, it would be impossible to get it with all the security. But, according to Kaz, there would be one moment of weakness in the security. From the morning Rover would step foot into his mansion to the night he’d fall asleep there, the merchant would want to showcase his painting to everyone who’d want to see it. That night had been the night to strike. 

And so had Kaz done. He had set out with a small team; Inej and Jesper had been at his side, followed by two other Dregs, Pieter and Roos. The whole operation had gone according to plan and the painting had come off the wall and outside without a hitch. 

That was why it had come as a surprise when Kaz had pulled out three pieces of paper with the notion that they had to hide for a couple of days. Inej had gone with Kaz, Pieter and Roos were together, and Jesper was alone. 

‘Remember, you are Thomas van Dijk now,’ Kaz had said before they had parted ways. ‘You are a student and stranded alone after a trip with your fellow students. I know the people there and they will take you in.’ 

Kaz had disappeared before Jesper could say anything and he had seen no other option than to follow Kaz’s orders. 

So now he was standing in front of a farmhouse, silently cursing his friend before knocking on the door. 

A broadly built man opened the door and eyed Jesper suspiciously. This one tried to keep his easy posture and smile, but he felt himself grow slightly uncomfortable under the gaze of the man. 

‘What do you want?’ he asked brusquely. 

Jesper swallowed and his hands automatically reached for his hips, finding nothing but air there as he had hid his revolvers in his bag, figuring it wouldn’t be too great of an entrance. He scratched the back of his head and let out a nervous chuckle. 

‘I’m Thomas van Dijk,’ he started, wondering if the man would ever believe him. ‘I uhh… I was out with friends—a break from studying, you see? And this morning when I woke up they were gone and they took all transport… so I was wondering if I could perhaps stay here until they pick me up again?’ 

The man glanced at Jesper for a while. ‘D’you know farm stuff?’ he then asked. 

‘Sure,’ Jesper shrugged, figuring that it couldn’t be all too hard. 

‘Alright, then,’ the man nodded and stepped aside to let Jesper in, ‘you can stay here for a few days.’ 

Jesper sighed relieved and walked into the farmhouse, only realising inside that he had had no plan if this hadn’t worked out. 

The interior of the house reminded Jesper of his home in Novyi Zem. The walls were painted in a warm colour green and an old rug lay on the stone floor. On the wall in the little hall hung a portrait of a beautiful woman standing in a field of wildflowers. She had long hair framing her face, falling down in curls around her shoulders. The woman looked like she was in her late thirties, but she had a smile that was ageless. 

Jesper followed the man into the next room, which was the living and dining area. There was an open door that led to the kitchen, from where Jesper could smell whatever the man was cooking. Another door probably led to a staircase, Jesper figured by the shape of the little space behind it. 

The main room was an extension of the hall. The same green coloured the walls here and more paintings hung on the walls. Jesper recognised the woman in more pictures on the wall, and sometimes she was accompanied by a child. 

Jesper looked around, wondering where the rest of the household was. Kaz had spoken about more than one person, but so far Jesper had only seen one; and that one was standing right in front of him. 

‘You can sit there,’ the man said and pointed at the chairs around the table. ‘You want dinner?’ 

‘I’d really appreciate that, sir,’ Jesper said and the man nodded before he disappeared into the kitchen.

-=-=-=-=-

The sky was dark and the last rays of the sun were setting behind the horizon when you heard the bell from the kitchen, telling you that dinner was ready. 

You always spent so much time outside that your father had given up on trying to find you for dinner. Instead he had installed the bell to let you know when you had to come home, and when you cooked you used it to get your father back home. 

You got up from your spot on the ground next to Klara. She was the oldest cow you had at the little farm and she had been your mother’s favourite. However, two nights back Klara had suddenly fallen ill and so far she hadn’t improved yet. You had spent the last two days neglecting your duties at the farm to take care of her. Klara was the one thing that was closest to your mother and you refused to say goodbye to her too. 

Silently you slipped from the stables and walked back to the house. There was light burning behind the windows and you saw the silhouette of your father inside, sitting at the dinner table. In a flash you thought you saw your mother there too, but as you blinked the image fell away. 

Stepping through the backdoor in the kitchen, you kicked off your boots and shrugged off your coat. Quickly you washed your hands and face and arranged your hair, before you walked into the living area, knowing that your father liked you to not be messy at dinner. 

‘Klara’s not any better,’ you said as you walked into the room. ‘She’s just lying still and—’

You stopped talking as your eyes found the stranger at the dining table. He was sitting opposite of your father, looking at you with a smile. The boy could be not much older than you were, but by the way he was clumsily sitting in the chair, you saw that he was a lot taller than you. His dark-skinned body was clothed by a dark green suit with flashy, golden buttons, lined with a silky lime-green fabric. Below his dark eyebrows two eyes glittered merrily and his smile got a little more confident as you sat down at the table. 

‘What’s going on?’ you asked your father. 

‘This is Thomas,’ your father answered, nodding towards the strange boy. ‘His friends ditched him and he needed a place to stay for a few days. With the situation around Klara, I figured a little help at the farm wouldn’t hurt.’ 

You stared at your father for a moment and then turned to Thomas. ‘Are you from the city?’ 

The boy nodded. ‘Yes, I go to the university in Ketterdam.’ 

‘What happened?’ 

‘We had a few days off and decided to go on a trip here. But when I woke up this morning my friends had left. I have no transport home and after searching for a place to stay all day, I got here.’ 

‘Nice friends you have,’ you mumbled and something in the boy’s face turned bitter. 

‘Don’t get me started,’ Thomas said and then he smiled at you. 

-=-=-=-=-

Jesper was woken early by a heavy, pounding headache. The sky outside was pink from the sunrise and with the figures of the trees and houses it looked like a painting to Jesper—one that was far more beautiful than the one he stole from Rover. 

As he rolled over in his bed and reached for his temples, it didn’t take long for Jesper to realise that it wasn’t his head that was pounding—there was someone at the door of the room. Groaning Jesper sat up in his bed and rubbed the sleep from his eyes with the sleeve of the shirt that he had borrowed to sleep in. 

‘Coming, coming,’ Jesper groaned when the knocking kept going. 

He opened the door and was met with your eager face, painted with a big smile. You chuckled at Jesper and shook your head. ‘Come on, Thomas! Work doesn’t wait!’ 

Just for a split second Jesper was confused as to why you called him Thomas, but then he realised that the whole show he was putting up here was nothing more than that; a show. You didn’t know who he really was and, if he was honest, Jesper did feel a little guilty about it. You were so kind to him and he hadn’t even given you his real name. 

This was not the time for morale questions, however, and Jesper shook the guilt off him. ‘Right,’ he said slowly and then glanced into his room, finding the bag he had dumped on the floor. He had not brought anything other than his guns, the clothes he had been wearing and a little money. ‘Do you perhaps have some clothes I can borrow?’ 

Half an hour later, Jesper was standing in the stables next to the house with a buttered slice of bread in his hand. He was wearing a linen blouse and trousers of rough material that you had given him. He felt naked without his guns resting on his hips, but taking them with him had been out of the question. Now he felt like the Jesper he had been before he had gone to Ketterdam—poor, weak and unskilled. 

You came back with a large sack in your arms, that you dumped into Jesper’s arms. He stumbled under the sudden weight, but managed to keep his balance. 

‘My dad’s out on the fields today, so we have to take care of the stables,’ you said. ‘If you feed the chickens, I’ll do the goats and then we’ll get together again, okay? Don’t forget the eggs!’ 

You turned around and walked off and Jesper was left baffled. Unsure, he turned and walked to the chicken coop, finding a bunch of chickens there. A fat, white one looked up when Jesper stood over the coop and cooed softly. The chicken kept staring at him as he walked around the fence and Jesper slowly began to freak a little. 

He put his hand in the bag with food and grabbed a handful of seeds that he threw as far away from him in the chicken coop as possible. All the chickens rushed to the food—including the fat, white one—and Jesper quickly stepped over the fence and lowered to his knees so he could reach into the henhouse. He was met with the angry eyes of another chicken that was still sitting inside the house. She pecked at Jesper’s hand while he tried to find the eggs that you wanted. 

When he finally pulled back, he had found six eggs. His hand was throbbing and even bleeding at some places. As fast as he could he walked away from the chicken coop back to the stables, where he dropped the sack with food on the ground and sat down next to it, examining his hand. 

After a few minutes you came back from the goats and the smile on your face changed to worry when you saw Jesper sitting defeated on the ground. 

‘Are you alright?’ you asked. 

Jesper quickly jumped up and nodded, hiding his hand behind his back. He forced a smile on his face and tried to look excited at you. ‘I’m perfectly fine.’ 

You squeezed your eyes at him but dropped the subject. ‘Okay, if you say so,’ you mumbled and then nodded your head to the back of the stables. ‘We have to check on Klara again before we go on.’ 

‘Klara?’ Jesper asked. 

You walked off to the back and Jesper followed you, ending up at a dark stable where a big cow was lying on the ground, breathing deeply. She had her eyes closed and Jesper thought she was asleep, but when you stepped into the space, the cow opened her eyes and looked up at you. 

‘This is Klara,’ you unnecessarily explained. ‘She is our oldest cow, but it’s not looking so good for her now.’ 

You lowered to your knees and rested your hand on top of Klara’s head. The cow closed her eyes at the feeling and let out a deep breath. You closed your eyes momentarily and as a troubled shadow crossed your face Jesper realised that Klara wasn’t just another animal at the farm to you. 

‘Will she be alright again?’ Jesper asked, standing awkwardly at the entrance of the stable. 

‘I really don’t know,’ you sighed and you looked up at Jesper with sad eyes. ‘She’s not worse than yesterday, but also not any better.’ 

‘I’m sorry,’ Jesper said and he tried to give you a reassuring smile. 

You got up from the ground and gave Jesper a little smile back. ‘Thank you.’ 

-=-=-=-=-

Later that afternoon Jesper was sitting with you in the shadows of the house, looking out over the fields that surrounded the farm. Somewhere far in the distance he could see the figure of your father, as a little black silhouette against the bright light of the sun. 

Jesper was exhausted. Although he considered himself in good shape, the work on the farm was completely different from what he usually did in Ketterdam. Normally he would crouch, run and hide, but today he had had to use brute force and the running had only applied when one of the goats had gone after him. 

‘And,’ you said as you handed Jesper a glass of water, ‘how do you like it here?’ 

‘I’m so tired,’ he whined dramatically and you laughed, throwing your head back. ‘But it looks beautiful here. I like it—reminds me of home.’ 

‘Where’s home?’ 

Jesper hesitated for a moment, considering where his actual home was. 

‘I grew up in Novyi Zem, on a jurda farm,’ he told you, while staring out at the fields. ‘My dad still lives there, works on the farm now that I… am going to the university in Ketterdam…’ 

Carefully Jesper looked aside after his slip-up, but you hadn’t caught it. With your legs tucked to your chest and your arms wrapped around them, you were sitting in the chair, taking in the sunlight with your eyes closed. There was a soft golden glow on your face from the sun and the point of your nose glistened. 

‘...I guess that’s my home now,’ Jesper continued. ‘Ketterdam.’ 

‘Hmm,’ you hummed softly before you opened your eyes and looked at Jesper. ‘What’s it like? To live there?’ 

‘You’ve never been to Ketterdam?’ 

‘I have, but never for a long time,’ you said, giving Jesper an innocent smile. 

‘It’s… busy, noisy, crowded. There’s people everywhere, at all times of the day. When it’s hot the canals stink and when it rains the entire city turns grey. The rich people are mean and the poor are gross. It’s never safe and there’s a lot of crime.’ Jesper stopped talking to take a breath and noticed you were watching him with a raised eyebrow. Then he smirked. ‘It’s amazing.’ 

You leaned back in your chair and huffed. ‘I think I prefer the silence of the country.’ 

‘I get that. On my first day in Ketterdam I wondered how I could ever live there. I was sick with longing for home and the farm.’ 

‘What happened?’ 

Jesper grimaced. ‘I got a taste of real life.’ 

You waited for Jesper to continue, but he said nothing. He couldn’t really, not if he wanted to obey Kaz’s orders. Again he felt bad for you, for lying to you. You were so kind to him and all he did was lie about who he was; you didn’t even know his real name. 

-=-=-=-=-

You stepped out of your room while the sun wasn’t even up yet. The house was silent and dark, but you could easily find your way to the room you were headed for. This was the house you grew up in and you knew every secret hidden in every dark corner. 

‘Time to wake up!’ you said through the door and you knocked shortly. 

Yesterday, Thomas hadn’t been of great use with your animals, but you hoped that today he would. He had told you that he had grown up on a jurda farm so you figured fieldwork wouldn’t be as hard on him as the goats. 

There was a grunt from inside the room and you had to stifle a laugh. Once again you knocked—a little harder this time—and the grunt from inside came back louder. Yet there was little movement in the room and you rolled your eyes and grumbled something about lazy rich boys from stupid universities, before you threw the door open. 

‘What—hey!’ Thomas cried out. ‘I said I was coming!’ 

‘Sounded a lot more like you’d just roll over again,’ you said, leaning against the doorpost with your arms crossed. 

Thomas murmured something incomprehensible and he threw the blankets off of him. ‘If you wanted to see me naked, you could’ve just asked, you know?’ he smirked as he swung his legs off the bed and stretched his arms over his head. 

‘Hmm, if only I wanted,’ you shot back, but you couldn’t keep your eyes from gazing at his chest anyway. It was dark, but your eyes had gotten used to the darkness enough to be able to see the lines and shapes of Thomas’ bare body. There was no denying his fitness, but what caught your attention more were the scars littered over his torso. From small, almost innocent lines to light-coloured circles and dents. For the simple student he claimed to be, he had an awfully damaged body. 

You averted your eyes from his chest and shook your head. How this boy’s body looked was none of your business, so there was no point of dwelling on it. Yet, as you turned around to leave the room, you found yourself fighting the urge to get closer and feel his body under your hands. 

‘You like waffles?’ you asked over your shoulder, seeing a big smile break on the half-naked boy’s face. 

-=-=-=-=-

Your father had worked on the fields yesterday, and most work had been done already. All there was left for you and Thomas to do was harvest the potatoes on the last piece of land and then sort them with the rest. It was heavy, dull work and you were glad there was someone to help you. 

Thomas and you were bent over the crops, working opposite of each other on a row of potatoes. The sun was shining on your back fiercely and you felt it burning on your neck. It was long too late to prevent the sweat from breaking out and you felt hot and sticky. 

Opposite of you, Thomas wasn’t doing much better. Little droplets of sweat were rolling down his temples and the shirt he was wearing was soaked with his sweat. Yet there seemed to be some sort of glow around him, like he was energetic still—even after the hours of labour. 

It was late in the afternoon when you pulled out the last of the potatoes. You and Thomas dropped down on the grass on the edge of the field, both sighing with relief that the hard work was over. 

‘Only sorting left,’ Thomas said, wiping the sweat from his forehead. ‘How long will that take?’ 

You squeezed your eyes against the afternoon sun as you looked at the boy next to you and shrugged. ‘About two hours, I guess.’ 

‘Two hours in this heat is an eternity,’ Thomas stated. 

‘We could do it tonight,’ you suggested. ‘After dinner, when it has cooled a bit.’ 

‘And what do we do until then?’ 

You shot Thomas a cheeky smile and got up from the ground. ‘I have an idea.’ 

You led Thomas through the sunny fields and over the meadows around the farm, ignoring the sunshine in your face. Eventually you slowed at large bushes and a few trees and you smiled at the boy before you pushed aside some branches and stepped out into an open spot with a small lake. 

Thomas burst out in laughter and turned to you with a big smile on his face. 

‘Last one in the water has to get the other drinks!’ he shouted as he threw off his shirt. 

You followed after him, stepping out of your shoes and trousers. As you ran towards the water you took off your shirt, throwing it somewhere behind you on the grass. You pushed off on the side and wrapped your arms around your legs as you jumped into the water next to Thomas with a cheer. 

The cold water engulfed your entire body and you happily welcomed it after the whole day of sun. Gasping for air when your head reached above the water again, you turned to Thomas. 

‘You were last!’ he exclaimed. 

‘Only because you were already in the water when you said it!’ you defended yourself and splashed water towards Thomas. 

‘Still counts!’ 

He pushed water back and you closed your eyes against the waves. Water dripped down your hair and face, getting stuck in your eyelashes. You blinked the drops away and swam a little closer to Thomas. 

Planning to create a huge wave, you lowered your hands in the water, when you felt something slimy slither past your foot. You squealed and leaped into Thomas’ arms, almost drowning him with the sudden weight. Terrified you scanned the water around you, looking for the thing you had felt. 

‘What’s wrong?’ Thomas asked, trying to keep you in his arms while staying above the water. 

‘I felt something!’ you squeaked, still looking around you. 

‘Don’t tell me you’re afraid of fish,’ Thomas laughed. 

‘I am not! I just freaked because I—’ you started but stopped when you quit looking and found yourself very close to Thomas. 

That same deep urge as this morning crawled inside your mind before you could stop it. Despite yourself you admired the simple beauty of the face so close to yours. This boy had something enchanting, and it was more than just his jokes and smirks. Something about him made you want to cling onto him and not let go. 

You did let go, however, and quickly swam back to the side in silence. Thomas followed you and climbed on the grass, offering you a hand so you could get out of the water yourself. 

As you got dressed—with some difficulty because you were both still wet—far in the distance you heard the sound of a bell, telling you that dinner was ready. 

‘Finally,’ Thomas said, as he pulled his shirt over his head. ‘I was beginning to worry we wouldn’t eat at all.’ 

-=-=-=-=-

Jesper was sitting alone at the back of the house with two large baskets of potatoes in front of him. Luckily it had cooled down and it was now pleasant to sit outside. 

You stepped out of the house with a tray in your arms. Two glasses of lemonade and a plate of biscuits stood on the tray that you put down on the ground between Jesper and you, before you sat down yourself. 

‘How generous of you,’ Jesper started, as he took the glass. ‘Almost like you didn’t lose the race.’ 

You shook your eyes as you took a biscuit, which you used to point at Jesper. ‘That race wasn’t fair, and you know it.’ 

‘Sure, whatever helps you sleep at night.’ 

You rolled your eyes but there was a smile on your face nevertheless. Then you nodded towards the baskets. 

‘Two piles,’ you said. ‘One with small potatoes and one with normal and large.’ 

You took out a few potatoes and showed Jesper how to determine the size. He got on quickly and you were already starting on the second basket when your father called you away. 

Jesper continued on his own while admiring the sunset he always missed in Ketterdam. He loved living in the city and wouldn’t want it any other way, but in moments like these he did miss his old home. He missed the simplicity of life back then, of knowing exactly what was going to happen in your day. Living in the city, living with the Dregs, had taken that certainty from Jesper. 

The sun had almost completely set when you came back and the last rays of sunshine reflected in the tears on your face. You sat down with a sigh next to Jesper and before he could ask you what was wrong, you burst into sobs. 

Before thinking, Jesper dropped the potato in his hand and crawled to you. He wrapped his arm around your shoulder and pulled you closer to his chest. He didn’t know where the action came from or why he did it, but seeing you so heartbroken hurt Jesper’s own heart. 

You buried your face in Jesper’s neck and he wrapped his arms a little tighter around you. He could feel your quivering breaths on his skin and your tears soaked his shirt but he didn’t care. 

‘It’s okay,’ he whispered and pressed a kiss on the top of your head without a second thought. ‘Let it out. It’s alright.’ 

After a while your tears stopped and your quivering breath changed for hiccoughs. You lifted your head from Jesper’s shoulder and looked at him with an apologetic look, that he discarded immediately. 

‘Don’t even dare to apologise,’ he said and you laughed softly. Jesper wiped the tears from your face and cradled your head in his hands. ‘What’s wrong?’ 

��It’s Klara,’ you said as Jesper dropped his hands from your face to your hands. ‘My dad went looking at her and she’s doing even worse than before. I know she’s just a cow and everything, but she’s the strongest connection I have to my mother and I just…’ 

You looked up at Jesper and smiled sadly. ‘I don’t know, it probably sounds weird.’ 

Jesper shook his head and gave your hand a little squeeze. 

‘It doesn’t sound weird,’ he said, thinking of how he had clung to the littlest thing of his mother after she had passed. 

You sniffed and smiled at Jesper. ‘Thanks.’ 

‘Of course,’ he said, as he sat back next to you, taking a new potato in his hand. 

You followed his example and for a while you worked in silence, until Jesper took the last potato from the basket and threw it on the pile left of him. He turned to you and found you staring at the dark sky. 

‘What was your mother like?’ he asked finally, giving in to his curiosity. 

‘She was perfect,’ you said and you smiled faintly ahead of you. ‘She was caring, kind and smart. She kept things going around here. There is not much to do, but she always made sure I was never bored.’ 

You laughed shortly and turned to Jesper. ‘Perhaps I’m a little biased; she was my mother after all.’ 

‘Maybe,’ Jesper said and he gave you a smile. ‘But you’re allowed. Who better than kids to judge a parent?’ 

‘She was beautiful too,’ you added. ‘Did you see the paintings? My dad used to paint a lot, but since my mother passed away he hasn’t picked up a brush. It’s a shame, I think he’s really talented.’ 

Jesper nodded. He had wondered why the paintings had only been of the woman young, but she hadn’t aged anymore after that. 

Now that the sun had set, the warm air slowly turned cold. Jesper fought the urge to wrap his arms around his own body. He looked at you and noticed the goose bumps on your arms too. He got up and offered you his hand. 

‘Come on, let’s go inside,’ he said. ‘It’s freezing out here.’ 

You took Jesper’s hand and followed him to the backdoor of the house. When you walked past the path that led to the stables, you slowed and pulled lightly on Jesper’s hand. 

‘Can we…?’ you asked and before you had finished your sentence Jesper nodded. 

‘Of course.’ 

The stables were warmer than outside and though Jesper still hadn’t gotten used to the smell he much rather be there than outside. He much rather be there with you than alone in his bed. 

Klara lay in the back and you let go of Jesper’s hand to rush over to her. You dropped to your knees next to the cow and wrapped your arms around her. Big tears rolled down your cheeks and the soft sound of your crying filled the barn. 

Jesper sat down in a pile of dried hay and stared at his hands as he listened. After a while your crying stopped and only the heavy breaths of Klara could be heard. Feet shuffled and when Jesper looked up you weren’t sitting next to the sick animal anymore but next to him. 

Your cheeks were still wet from the tears, but you managed to give Jesper a little smile. He wrapped his arm around your shoulder and pulled you closer to him. Slowly he leaned back in the hay until his back found support and he was almost lying down. 

Without needing more words, you pulled your legs on the hay and settled against Jesper’s body. With one hand to your own chest and the other rising and falling with the motion of Jepser’s chest, you quickly fell asleep. 

Jesper glanced down at you and almost got unwell by the sense of comfort that washed over him. The longer he looked at you the more that little bubble of guilt in his stomach grew, but before he could do anything about it the hard work of the day took its toll on him and he dozed off. 

-=-=-=-=-

You woke up in a pile of hay by something that was nudging your leg. Slowly and grumbling against the bright morning light you opened your eyes to find a cow standing in front of you. 

‘Klara!’ you cried out and the happiness that filled you at seeing she had recovered during the night drowned out all the sleep left in your system. 

You jumped up and stumbled to the cow, throwing your arms around her neck. A few tears of happiness escaped your eyes and they dropped down on Klara. After last night you really didn’t think she would recover anymore, let alone be standing on her own feet. 

As you hugged Klara, you suddenly remembered that you hadn’t been alone last night. You let go of the cow and returned to the hay you had woken up in. Instead of the boy you had fallen asleep against last night now lay a little note. 

Good morning sleepyhead,

My friends finally picked me up early this morning and you looked too peaceful to be disturbed. I want to thank you and your father for letting me stay at your humble farm. It did me good to be out of the city for a while. I want to thank you as well for your company and honesty. I really hope Klara gets better—she seems quite cool.

I know you don’t like the city, but if you ever accidentally find yourself there and you miss my sparkling presence, go to The Crow Club and ask the bartender for Jesper Fahey. They’ll know who to find.

Take care, 

Thomas

- - - - - - - - 

taglist: @is-it-really-a-secret @mrs-brekker15​

MASTERLIST

[maybe-your-left]

ASK FRIDAY - CREATE A SCENARIO: roommates trope with Kylo

Due to some last minute room swapping and late registering Reader and Kylo end up in the same dorm but they're mad about it and hate each other (cue intense sexual tension)

Dorm room, Snowed in, evening time like 6

The heater/power has just gone out and Kylo knows a few ways to get warm...only if Readers up for it...

been working on this for FOREVER ANON. 

I loved it! 

Crushed

TW: NSFW, dirty talk, dom/sub vibes, exhibitionism, kinda fluff, Kylos not that nice and is an entitled man.

Oh yeah, you fuckin’ slut. 

Yes-Yes-Yes! 

‘M gonna cum all over your fucking tits.

You slapped the wall next to your bed, hard. 

“Can you guys keep it down! It’s 1 in the morning!” 

Muffled voices came through the paper-thin wall, sounding like bodies moving to the floor. Good, you thought, at least he will get rug burn from the shitty carpet, might keep him from fucking everything that moves. 

A hard knock on the wall pulled you from that thought. 

“Go read your fucking Bible! I’m trying to get my dick wet!” 

“Please!” 

“Why don’t you go get fucked!?” 

Some giggled came through next, followed by more muffled whispering. You whined loudly, trying to ignore the sounds of him fucking whatever bimbo your dormmate had in his lair. Shoving your face into your pillow, muffling your tears and wails. 

You turned on your TV, drowning out the final act of his performance. Fingers poised over your keyboard to file another noise complaint with the RA… not like they ever helped you. The last time they intervened they left with a black eye and broken nose, shrugging for you to sort it out yourselves. 

A door slammed shut, you let out a sigh of relief. 

At least he wasn’t a cuddler. 

You climbed out of bed, tip-toeing to your door to take a peek of whatever slut found her way into his room this evening. The special lady was a new cinderella every fucking week, he didn’t even try to know their names. You heard him admit it once in class to his friends, saying he called them all ‘baby’ so he wouldn’t have to learn. 

You peeked out the door, blinking from the harsh fluorescent lighting of your dingy dorm halls. The walls were a screaming white, yellowing from years of shoddy cleaning. You tried to clean your room when you first came to school, but it was too disgusting. 

A non-smoking dorm, ha. Everyone smoked, especially your neighbor. 

“Shouldn’t you be in bed creeper?” 

You jumped at his voice, exhaling harshly through your nose. You steeled your features, caught red-handed looking for his latest prey. Crossing your arms defensively, not that there was anything to hide. You were in your ratty pj’s, they were on sale at Old Navy a few years ago and you never threw them away even though they barely fit anymore. 

“If you’re so interested in being a cuck,” he grinned at you, flashing his crooked teeth, “I would love to have you over for an encore, I’m sure you’d love to watch me in action.” 

“Buzz off, Ren.” 

“Ooo, angry tonight,” he smirked, now stepping out of his door frame. You choked a little at his appearance, no shirt on, basketball shorts barely hanging off his hips. Dangerously low, seriously, if he took one wrong move they would be on the floor. His chest was covered in fresh scratch marks, no doubt from his latest victim, a sheen of sweat glistening under the lights. 

Fuck, he was good-looking. 

But he was terrible. 

“Ahem,” he cleared his throat, daring you to stare back at him. 

You gulped, caught again. You were better than that, you were just tired from being kept up since ten with his version of ‘love-making’. 

“My eyes are up here cupcake,” he stepped forward. Pushing you back into your doorframe, almost inside your sanctuary. “If you ever decide you want to break your vow of chastity, I’m right next door.” 

“Step away from me, Kylo.” 

He cocked his brow, “I love when you’re mean, come on. Let’s see if kitty has claws.” 

You bared your teeth, fists balling under your underarms, “Not even if you were the last man on Earth.” 

He shrugged, backing away from you. 

“Deal, bitch.” 

You moved to shut your door on him, “Go away.” 

“See you in class, bright and early.” 

------ 

When you imagined leaving for college, it was different. 

Saying goodbye to your parents, packing your car with whatever small valuables you owned. Determined to make a name for yourself all the way across the country, no friends or family, truly on your own. You imagined everything would be different, the dorm would be filled with new and friendly faces. 

RA’s greeting you as you parked outside, giving you a tour and maybe a group lunch with all your floormates. Getting to know each other, maybe even going to some new-student orientation event they planned for the newbies. 

Classes were smooth, acing all your major requirements. Professors were kind and ready to help you at any moment, letting your artistic vision flow through your body every morning with your 8 AM yoga class. 

But no. 

Instead, you registered late. 

Your classes all at the worst times, bright and early. 

Second rate dorm, COED even… smelly dudes between your single bedroom which would be better defined as a broom closet. Burping and fucking on both sides of you while you tried to study. Your major requirement classes were boring and filled with pretentious art students who thought they were the next Picasso. 

Professors didn’t care if you lived or died, only focusing on the bell schedule because they couldn’t control what the freshmen did in their classes. 

Your options for clubs were limited, either join a sport or a cult. 

And worst of all. 

Kylo Ren. 

He was your neighbor, signed up late just like you. You actually arrived at the same time, he pushed you down on your ass in the lobby so he could be checked in first. Calling you a clumsy bitch, only for you both to be handed keys to the same floor. Right next to each other, sharing a flimsy wall. 

On top of that, he was an art major like you. 

And since he registered late, he was in almost every class. 

Even yoga! 

He took your mat the first day, leaving you in tears in the hallway. He apologized afterward, handing it back to you before storming off to be with his beefy upper-class friends. Any moment he could, Ren would humiliate you. Trying to push your buttons, whistling at you when you had to cross the hallway to the showers. Tripping you when you had your hands full, making fun of you for hanging out with your sparse group of friends. 

And when he found out you were annoyed with him making noise, he latched onto it. 

One week he decided to recite the entire Phantom of the Opera, just because you mentioned in class that you loved that play. 

He did every part, even the musical scores, you could’ve sworn he did it with a megaphone on the wall, just to spite you. 

Your parents told you ‘he just likes you, he’s a boy.’ 

No! 

That’s not how people express feelings, at least not healthy people. 

Your alarm clock blared on your nightstand, you didn’t sleep so it didn’t bother you. Letting out a heavy sigh of defeat, Ren ruined another night for you, a night you’d never get back. Of precious, precious sleep that you desperately deserved. 

Slipping on some plum leggings and a sports bra. No one gave a fuck about your outfit in your early morning class, as long as you went with clothes on. You popped on your headphones, trying to drone out the noise of Ren’s music through the wall. He liked to blast some god-awful music every morning. 

Today, it was an old Black Veil Brides album! 

You made it out of the dining hall, snatching a muffin for breakfast. Smiling at some guys you knew, waving at your friend Rose as you stormed off to the gym. The cold chill of Winter biting at your nose, it was too cold to not wear a full outfit. But there was no time, with Ren keeping you up all night and classes back to back, you didn’t have time to fuck around with dressing up. 

Ren ran in after you, laughing with his friends. Big nose all red from the frost, his hair looked frozen to his scalp, probably showered beforehand. You rolled out your mat, trying to stretch while he bragged about the pussy he got last night. Making a big show of your complaining, saying you were desperate to fuck him based on your whining. 

You rolled your eyes when he planted next to you, “Good morning, you ran out in a hurry.” 

“I didn’t want to be late,” you sneered, not giving him the time of day, still stretching your back into child's-pose. 

“How are we supposed to walk together if you run away from me, cupcake?” 

You scoffed, shooting him an icy glare. Despite him grinning at you like the happiest man on Earth, god, you needed to stop giving him a reaction. That would shut him up if you didn’t give him the attention he is clearly lacking from his parental figures. 

“Good morning class,” your teacher greeted you calmly, “I hope you’re all doing well. As you all know, this next week is finals week, I’m offering makeup classes to those of you who need to make up some credit hours. We are also hosting some meditation if you need time to relax between classes.” 

Next to you, Ren leaned towards your mat, setting his hand right behind your back. You didn’t have to open your eyes to know he was hovering. Ready to devour you like a piece of meat.

“Hey,” he chuckled. 

You stayed quiet, pushing back into his arm so he would move. Ren stayed put, purring in your ear, “Did you sleep well?” 

“Move off my mat, Ren.” 

He smirked down at you, “You seem stressed, do you want me to help by fucking your brains out.” 

You shot off your mat, effectively knocking him onto his back. Laughing loudly in a relatively silent room of students trying to center themselves. He grinned from the floor, hands up in the air in defense, “I’m just offering to help you, Jesus!” 

“Just,” you pointed in his face, hair falling out of your ponytail. Everyone was staring at you, even your instructor. Shocked you were yelling, you barely spoke in class, at the scariest person in your class. 

“Just, leave me alone.” 

------

Ren avoided you for the rest of the week, mostly. 

Still had his nightly fuck-more subdued though, you had on noise-canceling headphones to try and focus on studying. There were still so many classes to get to, and you wouldn’t be finished until the day before Winter break… you were desperate to get this over with. 

You missed your family, the plane ticket itself cost you a whole month of meals. 

Of course, you would do fine in your classes, it was just the motivation to get there. Every morning you glared at Ren when he greeted you in yoga, still standing next to you like a menacing shadow. 

This morning was no different, only you skipped class to study in the library. Bundled up in your winter coat, long black scarf, hair in a lazy braid, and thermal leggings on. The wind had picked up last night, bringing on an ice storm that wasn’t expected until late next week. You walked on treacherous sidewalks, dodging all the other students who were seeking the warmth of the library. 

You settled inside, sprawling your books and laptop on an old desk. Grabbing out a few sketch pads so you could finish up some pieces that were due in a couple hours. Most of your finals in art were ‘unconventional’ which meant the professor wanted to see what you were motivated to work on during the year. 

For yours, you had decided to draw the people you saw on campus. 

Studying their faces, mannerisms, languages while they were in an organic environment. It was a great piece, and one of your professors was very interested in showcasing it in a show. You were proud, it wasn’t large but it was important for you and you wanted it to be perfect before turning it in. 

Your pastels were spread out, fingertips smudged and stained from charcoal, a few lines on your face and brow from forgetting about the streaks. There was this one person you couldn’t finish, it was one of your friends from last week. She was laughing and holding a drink, the expression wide and full of emotion but it was hard for you to capture without her being there. 

But you steeled yourself, you weren’t leaving this spot until you finished her. 

“You smudged that dude's face,” a low voice rumbled behind you. A finger pointing down at the top left corner, “Stop-don’t touch it.” 

You moved to swat the hand away, not wanting some random guy to ruin your piece with their grubby fingers. Recentering yourself, he wasn’t smudged, he was just in the corner so it looked like it wasn’t finished… what did he know, anyway? 

“You didn’t draw me?” 

Now you stopped, why you didn’t recognize the timbre of his voice was ridiculous. 

You let out a long sigh, “Please, don’t touch the canvas, Kylo. It’s not ready, yet.” 

The chair that housed your backpack slid out next to you, your things tossed on the ground carelessly before Ren sat. You scooted away from him, he smelled like he just showered. Judging by his wet hair you were probably right… “What are you doing?” 

He shrugged, fiddling with one of your notebooks. Flipping through pages carelessly, “I don’t know-you weren’t in yoga so.” 

“So,” you gave him a weird look, “You stalked me to the library?” 

“There’s no reason to go to yoga if I can’t bother you,” he flashed a smile, dropping it slightly when he saw you weren’t playing back with him. 

Silence fell over you both, the only noises the heat kicking in around the scuffling of boots and shoes to face the weather again. 

“I like your piece,” he gestured to your work, “For drawing, right?” 

You nodded stiffly, not enjoying his friendly tone. Like he wasn’t your demon neighbor who made it his job to annoy you and had for the past four months of your life. Ren shifted again, now leaning on the table with his cheek resting on his forearm. Looking at you with wide eyes, you never took the time to look at his face. 

He had very large eyes that betrayed his emotions. Swimming with flecks of auburn, gold, and some streaks of green, blinking slowly as he studied your canvas. You looked away from him, trying to ignore the urge to draw them, how his long lashes rivaled your own. How his skin was freckled with beauty marks, creases from frowning lined his forehead and nose. You could even make out his stubble, some pieces he must’ve missed the last time he shaved. 

You went back to drawing, no longer focusing on it. Just trying to understand what was happening, your tormentor was a foot away from you. Breathing calmly like a cat laying in a patch of sun. Hunched over the edge, torso too long to rest like a normally proportioned human being, had he always been this big? 

“Wanna get coffee before class?” 

“Huh?” 

You blinked slowly, not registering that he spoke to you. 

Ren leaned off, letting out a big yawn and scratching the back of his neck. 

Yes, definitely a cat. 

“Do you want to get coffee,” he stared blankly, “Before we head to English?” 

You looked down at your mess, then back up at him. Shaking your head softly, voice quiet as a mouse, “No-thank you.” 

He exhaled harshly, “I’m not gonna burn you with it, it’s just coffee.” 

“No, I’m fine,” you said firmer, “I wanna work on this some more.” 

Ren stayed still, probably trying to think of a way to get you to agree with him. You had known him long enough to know he doesn’t like people disagreeing with him. Didn’t have to be a college graduate to see that the man had issues with control, hence terrorizing you all semester. You didn’t want to offer him an olive branch, because he was just doing it as a joke. Probably, waiting until you were calm around him to do something cruel. 

You went back to drawing, listening to him get up and leave you. Mumbling something under his breath about ‘trying to be nice’ before walking out. You shook off the awkwardness, not willing to break down and let him do something nice for you, just because he didn’t ruin your final piece didn’t mean he wouldn’t do something in the future. 

The day was still young. 

------

Oddly enough, Ren didn’t bother you that evening. 

Not even a door slam! 

You almost thought he was dead, but you saw him in the hallway when you were walking to the bathroom. Wrapped in your robe, caddy in hand, he didn’t whistle or try to touch your ass like he normally did. Just a stale smile before closing himself back in his room. 

Not to waste the precious quiet, you went to work packing your bags for your trip tomorrow. Deciding to do a quick load of laundry, your hall was almost empty, so no one would be down there while you waited. 

Piling up your hamper, you threw your pj's and slippers on. Remembering to grab a blanket and your laptop so you could hang out down there while you waited. 

Your friends back home were all excited to see you, ready to hear all about your time away. The boys you met, friends you made, classes, all that. So excited to get home and see your cat, Gremlin, he was all alone without you. Your mom sent you pictures earlier of him curled in your blankets, saying that he knew you were coming home soon. 

Maybe next Fall you could get an apartment, you didn’t want to leave him for another year. 

A washing machine door slammed shut next to you, causing you to jump from your perch atop your own. Faced with Ren, who was doing his laundry in his pjs, or his version of pjs. Giving you another tight-lipped smile before leaning against the far wall. Yawning loudly before sliding down the wall to sit on the floor. 

You ignored him, turning back to your laptop that was playing a crime documentary. Texting some friends to keep your mind from wandering to Ren and why he was in such a mood. 

“Are you leaving tomorrow?” Ren called from his wall. 

You pretended to not hear him, refocusing on the documentary, there was something very interesting happening and you weren’t about to miss how they found the killer's shoe prints in the mud just because Ren was trying to talk to you. 

Then something was thrown at you, and it smelled awful. 

“Oh-my-god!” 

You shot off the washing machine, throwing down the offending garment. Ren was laughing loudly, “Chill out! It was just an old shirt!” 

“How old was it?!” 

He smiled at you from the ground, propping an elbow on his kneecap. One leg stretched out on the tile, you tried to regain a sense of calm, he was just messing with you again. Just take some deep breaths… in-out-in

“Are you leaving tomorrow, after our final?” 

You let out your deep breath, sitting back on the washer. “Yeah,” you paused your show since mister meanie wanted to have a tea party. “I have to get to the airport right after.” 

He hummed, “Same.” 

The washer beeped loudly, echoing in the otherwise empty room. Ren watched you hop off, fixing your shorts which definitely rode up too much. Trying to not flash him your underwear as you bent to move your clothes to a dryer. You cursed when a sock fell from your pile, great.  

“How come we’ve never fucked?” 

Now all your clothes were on the floor. 

Along with Ren, who was staring at you like you were an art exhibit. 

You dragged your clothes back to the washer. There was no way you were finishing now that they touched the dirty floor, no one cleaned down here and just because it looked clean didn’t mean-

A whistle, “You good over there?” 

“Yup.” 

“Okay,” you heard him stretch, popping his joints as he lifted off the floor. You could feel his breath on the back of your neck as he closed in. Almost touching you, no escape, “As I was saying, how come you’ve never let me steal your virginity?” 

You scoffed, “I am not a virgin.” 

Ren pressed into you, pushing you against the washer now. Grinding his hips into your own, you squirmed, trying to dispel every fantasy flooding your brain. Every night you spent listening to him through the wall, imagining just once that it was you. If he weren’t such a monster, you would have gladly laid on your back and let him do whatever he wanted. 

“Nothing?” 

You took a deep breath, placing both palms on the top of the washer. Biting your lip as you silently pleaded for him to let you go, but also continue. You could smell his cologne from this close, how it complimented him so well. Mixing in with his dark aura, you wanted nothing more than to spin around and…

Soon you were doing just that, but not on your own violation. 

Ren had his hands grasping your hips, thumbs slipping under the fabric of your t-shirt to caress your soft skin. Lips capturing your own, you froze in his hold. Unsure of what to do, a part of you wanted to scream and smack him, but the other part loved the smell of his toothpaste. 

He relaxed when you relaxed, your lips still awkwardly locked together. Not opening and allowing for more, but not moving away either. You stared at him, startled to see him looking back at you. Pulling back slightly, you watched his face chase yours. Bringing your lips together a few more times, kissing at the seam. 

You felt his tongue flick for entry, trying to pry your mouth open so he could explore. When you didn’t move he finally huffed in annoyance, “I know it’s your first kiss, but you’re supposed to open your mouth.” 

You groaned, bringing both hands to cradle his cheeks. There was no way he was going to make fun of you, he initiated this so. 

Ren made a muffled noise when you pressed your lips back together. Probably of shock and surprise, because, no. This was not your first kiss, not even your fourth or fifth kiss. Working your tongue skillfully into his mouth, you moaned softly at his taste. Just like you imagined… not that you put much stock into this but… it was wonderful. 

Bringing your fingers to the nape of his neck, tugging on his dark brown hair. Just like you always wanted to, whenever he walked past you with it tied in a bun you dreamt of tearing through it. Ren returned your affection in kind, his left hand moving to the small of your back. Fingers dancing under the waistband of your pajama bottoms. 

You heard him swear when he felt the lace underneath, nestled between your cheeks. Ren slid a hand over the globes of your ass, moving his hips in time with his tongue. Tasting every inch of your mouth, even growling in approval when you sunk your teeth into his bottom lip. 

Petting and groping each other against the washing machines, the sound of you swapping spit barely heard over the rumble of your clothes. Ren had gotten sick of grinding against your hip bone, pulling away from you for a moment. Shushing your pathetic whimpers, he hooked the hand not cupping your ass behind your left knee. 

Hiking it over his hip, opening your legs up. Allowing him to assault your center with his straining erection, oh you could picture it now. How easy it would be to just let him slip inside you. 

Right here, in the laundry room. 

*Beep* 

You pulled back roughly, barely able to unsuction your lips from Rens' own. A string of spit connecting your kiss-bitten lips, he looked at you with pleading eyes. Grinding himself against you harder, pulling a few soft mewls from your throat. 

“I need to switch my clothes,” you croaked.

He nodded, shakily setting your limb back on the floor and backing away. You watched through your own lust-filled state as he trembled. Walking back to his far wall, a hand cupping his cock through his sweats. Your throat clicked as you took in a much-needed breath, doing what you said you would. 

Setting them in the dryer, all the more aware of his eyes watching your every move. 

Not sparing him a glance when you sat back on the washer. 

Turning on your laptop once again to watch your crime documentary. 

Ignoring the throbbing between your legs, his deep breaths, and your shaking limbs. 

------

The TV’s at the airport all said the same thing, “Record snowfall this winter, right before the holidays! Experts say that we will be lucky to keep power until it passes. Our friends on the west coast are enjoying a white Christmas, while we’re stuck in the North Pole.” 

All flights have been grounded until further notice. 

Stuck. 

You could barely make it back to your dorm without crashing. 

Bursting into tears several times when you realized you wouldn’t be home until it was over. Wouldn't be able to safely leave your dorm room until it passed, leaving you utterly alone. 

You had emailed your RA letting him know your bad luck, he let the staff know you’d be there so they would have food and water running still. 

But other than that, this was your holiday. 

You slipped on the walk up to your room, sobbing loudly in the halls as you clutched your luggage. No going home, no seeing your friends or family, no Christmas dinner, no personal shower, no Gremlin to sleep on your face. 

Collapsing on your bed, curling yourself in the multitude of pillows and blankets that adorned it. The room had shitty heating, the entire building had shitty heating. The entire month of December you’d been freezing, and no amount of personal heaters could fix this kind of cold. 

You drifted off to sleep after crying for a few hours, letting your parents know what was happening. Setting alerts for earlier flights, anything you could do to get home. You were so tired in fact, that you slept through a power outage. Leaving the entire building to shut down, no backup generators. 

And no heat. 

It wasn’t until you felt yourself being lifted that you woke up to the commotion. 

Squirming in the kidnappers' arms, limbs aching from freezing for a time in your bedroom. The window must’ve cracked open because it was much colder than when you arrived. Your attacker didn’t let you go, growling in your ear to be still. 

Dragging you out of the building, towards a car you didn’t notice when you pulled in. With the snow swirling all around, it was a miracle they could see their own vehicle. You were thrown in the front seat, followed by your luggage tossed in the back. You stayed still, every time you moved it hurt, hypothermia. Common in the New England storms if you were foolish enough to be outside… 

You about passed out when the driver's side door opened, Ren climbed in. Looking just as frozen as you, slamming the door shut and mumbling something as he started his car. You could’ve cried when the engine turned, heat blasting between the both of you. 

“Hands,” his teeth chattered, holding his own out. He nodded for you to do the same, grasping your pink fingers between his own and blowing on them. “Power went out,” Ren took a shallow breath, “I was leaving and I saw your car. You were almost frozen to your bed, the window broke.” 

“Th-thank you-u-u.” 

Ren cringed at your fingers, slowly gaining back their normal color. “I tried to grab everything I could, like your backpack and luggage. But we can’t stay there, we’ll fucking freeze.” 

You nodded, tugging your hands away to curl into your chest. Thankful that Ren had enough sense to grab blankets, stuffing them in your lap from the backseat. You thought about grabbing your phone, but you could barely make a fist so it would do you no good. 

“My plane g-g-got ground-d-ed.” 

Ren shivered, nodding sharply, “Mine too, my mom got me a hotel room not far from here to stay until the storm passes. So, I’m taking us there.” 

“Okay.” 

You didn’t say anything else, not wanting to distract him from the treacherous roads. Thank god he had a Jeep, or else you would’ve died. You couldn’t see more than ten feet ahead, less than that when you were on the highway out of the city. 

Ren kept mumbling things like it’s okay, I’m sorry, I know it's cold, whenever you shivered and took in sharp breaths. You must’ve been out for a while, to get this bad. A quick look at the clock in his car said you’d been asleep for three hours, who knows what would’ve happened if he hadn’t noticed your car… 

He helped you out, more carried you, towards the check-in desk. Too worried you would pass out in the car if he left you for too long, the front desk lady was quick and sweet. Making sure to send up extra blankets and pillows to your suite. Ren had you walk up with him, so he wouldn’t have to carry you and the luggage on separate trips. 

You clutched his hand like a child, tight enough for his knuckles to turn white. But he was so warm, it’s all you could think about. All you wanted was to be warm, nodding blindly to whatever Ren said to do. 

Plug your phone in, check. 

Let him talk to your mom, check. 

Draw a bath for you, check. 

Climb in the bath with you, double-check. 

It wasn’t until you were defrosted in the clawfoot tub that you realized you were naked with him. 

Rens chest against your back, holding you like his life depended on it. Judging by his shaking, you both were probably suffering from acute hypothermia. You had been silent for so long your voice spooked him a little, “Thank you.” 

He hummed into your hair, which was sitting on top of your head in a messy bun. “Are you okay?” 

You nodded slowly, “Can we go lay down?” 

“Yeah,” Ren hastily got out of the tub, draining it and wrapping you in plush towels. You were still too cold to blush from your nakedness, not how you pictured this going. You imagined you would finally give into him on some drunken party night, barely remembering his reaction to seeing you nude. 

But now he had seen you half-frozen, forced to cradle you back to life. 

------

You squinted from your cocoon, greeted by a dimly lit room. 

One spare lamp on a dingy-looking nightstand, well it wasn’t terrible. It was better than your nightstand in your dorm room… where was your dorm room anyway? 

Something vibrated behind you, followed by a heavyweight sprawling against your back. 

You held your breath, you were in a hotel. 

With a stranger. 

“Shit,” you whispered. 

Okay, you could wiggle out of here. You took a moment to study the room, there was the lamp from before, and some curtains on a metal rod in the far corner. If you managed to get out without being detected you could knock out the assailant. 

“You smell so good.” 

More weight settled on you, now you were trapped. This bear was closing in, who knows what happened while you were asleep! All you could remember was falling asleep at your dorm after the upsetting trip to the airport, then being dragged away. 

Your fingers burning when you tried to use them, being shoved in a car… 

Kylo. 

“Kylo?!” 

“Mhm.” 

You threw your arms up, successfully throwing him off you and the covers. Your limbs screaming at the sudden movement, you were still suffering from the cold. Next to you, curled in a ball, totally catlike, was Ren. 

A sleepy smile gracing his lips, hands curled under his cheek, and legs moving towards his chest, Like a child under a blanket. You gasped when you saw he was naked, “Fuck!” 

You were too. 

“What the fuck, Ren!?” 

“Stop yelling,” you watched his hand bat his nose like an animal, “Come back, you were warm.” 

You huffed, flailing off the bed in search of your bags. 

Memories flooding back to you, he took you here after saving your life. 

The bath. 

Ugh, bad time to remember your kiss the night before. 

Ren sat up in bed, rubbing his eyes and blinking slowly. You flushed red when you looked between his legs, shit. How does he walk around with that? Is that why he has bad posture? You choked on your spit when he spread his legs out. 

Sprawling completely on the mattress like he wasn’t in a room with a stranger. 

“Snow hasn’t stopped,” Ren yawned, snapping a hand and pointing between his legs, “Come back.” 

“I’m not doing anything until you have clothes on.” 

He rolled his eyes, now looking you up and down. Focusing on your bare tits, swinging around with your erratic movements. You watched him lick his lips, wagging his eyebrows, “Come on, don’t you want to sit back on the bed?”

You shook your head, crouching down to your bag. Trying to not flash him more of your goods, but that didn’t work. Not with him leaning to the side of the bed to make a show of him peeping on you. 

A wolfish grin splitting his face, “You have a nice ass.” 

“Can you stop,” you huffed, tugging on some sweats you found. 

Ren made a pouting noise when you stood, pushing his bottom lip out while you threaded your arms through a t-shirt. You shivered a little-it was still freezing in the room. Probably from the weather, it sounded like it got worse… hopefully this place would keep power. 

You looked back at the bed, Ren was still manspreading. One of his large paws crawling towards his cock, watching you with the same smirk. He let out a soft sigh when he touched himself, eyes momentarily shutting in bliss. 

“Do you have to do that with me here?” 

He cracked an eye open, “Do you have to be that far away?” 

You scoffed, moving to the corner of the room. Shivering since you were near the window, you plopped down in the cheap armchair. Ignoring the sounds of his fist gliding along his cock, you tucked your feet under your body. Humming a tune to ignore the arousal growing between your legs, there was no way you were caving to him. 

What kind of man does that with a complete stranger present!? 

More importantly, why was it turning you on? 

“Come here,” he whistled, you spared a glance at him. Blushing profusely at the sight, his cock was now fully erect. Standing tall and proud, tip flushed almost purple from want. You quickly looked away, trying to swallow down the drool that gathered in your mouth. 

What would happen if you gave in? 

Not like it would hurt you… he looked so delicious. 

“If I come over there, what's gonna happen,” you whispered, determined to stay put.

With a deep breath, the mattress groaned under his weight, probably leaning back to get comfortable. He seemed to love you being there, watching him, or trying not to. Ren made a small non-committal scoff, “Whatever you want to happen, baby.” 

“Don’t call me that, you know my name.” 

“Meow.” 

Your head snapped towards him, met with his grin. “Come on-you really want me to do this by myself?” he waved his cock, fist tight around the base. You rolled your eyes, training your eyes to focus on the least attractive part about him. 

You were coming up empty, all you could stare at was his cock. 

The prominent vein along the underside thrumming in time with his heartbeat. You could practically feel it along your tongue, rigid and stiff. Slowly, you stood from the chair, met with a soft whine from Ren. Eying your hungrily as you sauntered over, you planted a knee in the mattress. 

Between his legs, which were spread obscenely wide, he licked his lips in anticipation. 

“If I help you, are you going to be nicer to me?” 

He nodded, chest taking in sharp breaths. You slowly leaned back on your heels, stripping your top off, despite him seeing you naked earlier. Surprised when he bit his bottom lip, watching you play with your tits, rolling them in the palm of your hand. Just to make him squirm a bit, “I’ll be nicer, whatever you want.” 

“I’m really cold still,” you spoke softly, making sure to lean in close enough to graze his lips with your own before pulling away, “Can you help warm me up?” 

“Yes,” Ren's hands shot out, kneading your flesh a few times. Debating to grasp your tits or the small of your waist, like a kid in a candy store. So many options, but you didn’t want to wait. If you were doing this, it would be about you.

“Eat me out.” 

He stilled, cocking a brow, “Excuse me?” 

“You heard me,” you exhaled on his neck, being sure to drag your kitty claws along his chest. Briefly grazing his nipples, savoring the way he gasped. “Eat me out, if you make me cum, I’ll let you fuck me. Like the desperate slut you are.” 

Ren scowled for a moment, nudging your face from his neck. Eyes dancing across your face before capturing your lips, moaning softly in your mouth, “I can make you cum so hard you’ll never want another man again.” 

You placed a soft kiss, rolling onto your back dramatically. Splaying your legs wide, “If that's true, why do you fuck a different girl every week?” 

He growled at you, actually growled. 

Hands no longer soft in their quest to memorize your skin, instead Ren pinned your legs hard enough for them to pop. Making you squeal from the stretch, “How fast do you think I can make you cum? Hm?” 

Before you could answer, he dove in. 

Lips wrapping around your clit and suckling fast, tongue flicking out every few seconds. You were already bucking up to meet him, but his firm hold kept you flush. While his tongue began to lap thick stripes along the seam of your pussy. Briefly hooking the tip into your entrance, both of you moaning when he tasted your wetness. 

“Shit-Kylo!” 

“Mm,” his voice vibrated against your clit, continuing his assault until you choked on your spit. You buried your fingers in his hair, keeping him in that right spot. “I’m so fucking close,” you cried out, pleading his name over and over and over. 

“You know,” he popped off, smacking his lips that were glistening with your cum, “I’d rather you cum on my cock.” 

“Wait-” 

Ren flipped you onto your chest, yanking your hips into the air. You barely had time to take a breath before he shoved his cock inside you. His breath hitched as he sank to the hilt, you groaned at the stretch. Now this, this you could get used to.

He pulled out slowly, you heard him swear under his breath. Leaving just the tip of his cock inside and ramming his hips into yours. Pulling a loud scream from your lungs, Ren chuckled at that. Pumping his cock at a rough pace, “Shh-you’re going to upset our neighbors.” 

You huffed, cheap shot, angling your hips a little so his cock would rub up against your front wall. Moaning when he picked up the pace, skin slapping skin. Ren leaned over your form, planting a hand on the headboard to keep it from knocking. You weakly lifted your head, clenching at the sight of his knuckles turning white. 

All you could do was sit and take it, revealing in the bliss you’d denied yourself for four months. 

-------

Ren dropped you both off at the airport two days later. 

You spent three days together, fucking each other's brains out. 

Choking on his cock while he was brushing his teeth, eating you out while you read through your newsfeed. Bouncing on his cock while he fed you breakfast, you didn’t need to change clothes the entire vacation. 

But you wanted to go home and were thankful for the storm ending so you could head home. It was a little awkward, Ren wasn’t very excited about the snow stopping. It felt like he was trying to stall you leaving but reluctantly listened to your desire to fly home. 

“Got everything?” he mumbled, hitching his backpack over his shoulder. The two of you were waiting in the TSA line, about to part ways to head home. You nodded, giving him a tight smile before stepping up on your own. 

Ignoring the feeling of his eyes on the back of your head. 

Both of you stood awkwardly after making it through, “Well-my gates over here,” you pointed behind you. Ren hummed in acknowledgment, kicking at the ground instead of looking at you. 

“Thanks for letting me crash with you,” you tried again, still nothing. 

You groaned, spinning on your heel. Back to being an asshole, you were kicking yourself for thinking he would be nicer. All he wanted was some pussy, and you willingly gave into him when you should’ve remained strong. 

Your parents picked you up back at home, lots of tears and laughs were shared. Thankful that you made it home without freezing, your mom was grateful for your friend who saved your life. She wanted to call him and tell him how much she appreciated it but you shrugged it off, he was just being nice. He wasn’t your boyfriend or anything, you left out the part that he was the neighbor you always complained about. 

Collapsing on your bed felt surreal like you would wake up and be back in the hotel room at any moment. It was odd not sleeping next to him, you had grown accustomed to his clingy arms. Circling you in the middle of the night when he thought you were dead asleep, smelling your hair before tucking you into his naked chest. 

You tossed and turned all night, groaning when you were woken by your siblings to get up the next morning. Barely sleeping a wink, you resolved to take a nap later to try and not spoil your trip back home. 

At breakfast, your mom yelled at you from the kitchen. 

“Hey hon, someone’s calling you!” 

“Just answer it,” you groaned through a mouthful of cereal. Briefly hearing your mother answer in a typical chipper tone, stalling mid-sentence before she yelled again, “It’s someone named Kyle?” 

Shit, you shot to the kitchen. 

Snatching the phone and escaping to the living room where no one was hiding. 

“Kylo?” 

Hey, didn’t think you’d answer.

“How’d you get my number?” 

Took it while you were napping the other day, I knew you wouldn’t give it to me willingly.

You rolled your eyes, “Alright creeper, what’s up?” 

Just wanted to talk or whatever, felt weird not to. 

Silence. 

Are you gonna let me buy you coffee when we are back?

“You were being serious about that?” 

A scoff. 

Yeah-or we could just fuck again if that’s all you want from this. 

“Coffee sounds good.” 

Cool. Cool. 

It’s a date. 

-------

TAGGING: @finn-ray-nal-beads @onlykyloscenes @candycanes19 @historyandfandoms50 @caelum-phyriina-vermillon @ghoulian13 @mrs-kylo-ren @millenialcatlady @relationshipwithmybed @dancingmicrobes @wayward-rose  @contesa-lui-alucard @daydreamsofren @insufferablelust @ohdamnadamm @mariesackler @caillea @safarigirlsp @jalexunderthestars @shesakillerkween @glassythoughts @zimmermansbrat @not-the-teen-witch @jynzandtonic @roanniom @celestiasin @glassbxttless @cornmousequeen @driversmutbucket @blowthatpieceofjunk

[milenadaniels]

Before the Night Fades, 8.6k - POV Outsider on Buck/Eddie double date shenanigans (AO3)

“I have a bottle of champagne, four champagne flutes, one engagement ring to go into one of those champagne flutes, and a note to deliver it all to table 34 with dessert,” Tomas explains, wide-eyed, throwing his hand back to the prep station where said champagne is waiting on ice next to four flutes and a small ring box.

“Okay?”

“Okay so there’s two men and two women and I have no idea who’s getting proposed to. I’m not even 100% on who came with who."

---

Or, EddieAna and BuckTaylor double date and it ruins everyone's night.

The nearly-post-COVID return to normal rush is going exactly as well as management at the Tilted Cactus expected it would, which is to say it’s going as miserably as the waitstaff at the Tilted Cactus expected it would.

The owners lost a lot of money to lockdowns, diminished capacity and the general (extremely warranted) paranoia of co-mingling in public during an international plague for the sake of overpriced appetizers. And despite accurately predicting the business would boom once the doors re-opened, management didn’t feel the need to account for more staff to serve said business.

So despite owing $34k on her student loans (that’s after a generous gift from both her parents and her maternal grandmother), barely being able to afford rent in LA, and the utter lack of career prospects, Mere is taking a break in the backroom, next to the dirty mop bucket, mentally running through her finances before she officially gives her notice.

She can’t quit, she knows that.

Turns out leaving New Zealand for LA with nothing but a dream and the idea that if Taika could do it so could she was not the most future-proof plan she could have come up with. The starving artist thing was so 2010.

But Mere’s made up her mind. She’s not made for this abuse. This is bullshit. She’s going to pack up, go home, and you know, do...something else. She’ll figure it out.

Mere pulls herself up from her indelicate crouch on some empty crates and goes in search of a piece of paper — or a fucking napkin, who cares — on which to write up her official resignation.

“No, in section 3A,” she hears Tomas fake-whisper. He’s one of the few new hires to grace these hallowed halls and still thinks it’s disrespectful to talk shit about customers even in the backroom. Umida, a five year veteran of this distinguished profession, has been trying to disabuse him of this particular nonsense.

“Where the fuck is section 3A, Tommy? We have sections 1 to 9, we don’t have any letters.”

“The new sidewalk sections have letters, to distinguish them from inside.”

“You mean sections 10 and 11?”

“...Mr. Peters said they’re using letters.”

“Mr. Peters can swallow my entire ass. The sidewalk sections are literally right outside the door from 9, why would they not be called 10 and 11?”

“Or ‘Hell On Earth’ and ‘Kill Me Please’, as we call them colloquially,” Mere offers, startling Tomas as she pushes through the swinging door she’d been hiding behind. Patio dining is highly encouraged and an excellent way to dine if one has patios. The Tilted Cactus does not have patios. It has a temporary license to put tables on the dirty sidewalk outside their restaurant, where waitstaff get to weave around pedestrians, dogs, and carts like they’re completing an obstacle course.

“Yeah, those work,” Umida agrees, emphasizing her point with a dispirited index finger in Mere’s direction.

“Okay, whatever,” Tomas says with a pained eye roll. “Can you please just check it out and let me know?”

“What’s happening?” Mere asks. She’s leaving this popsicle stand (ideally, on fire as she walks away slowly into the night) but she’s also starved of both human attention and the inherent drama of the culinary world so she’ll be damned if she misses out on one final showdown.

Tomas takes a breath to steel himself. “I have a bottle of champagne, four champagne flutes, one engagement ring to go into one of those champagne flutes, and a note to deliver it all to table 34 with dessert,” Tomas explains, wide-eyed, throwing his hand back to the prep station where said champagne is waiting on ice next to four flutes and a small ring box.

“Okay?”

“Okay so there’s two men and two women and I have no idea who’s getting proposed to. I’m not even 100% on who came with who.”

“You don’t have gaydar where you come from?” Umida asks in perfect deadpan.

Tomas glares harder, crosses his arms and juts one hip out. “I come from San Francisco. We invented gaydar. I’m saying I’m pretty sure the guys are together, but I’m also pretty sure they’re each with the women they’re sitting next to. So figure that out.”

“Like a double thruple?” Mere asks, now actually becoming curious.

“Like a ‘I don’t know what y’all are smoking this far north but I don’t understand your weird relationship dynamics and I’m still on probation and I can’t lose this job because I can’t move back in with my brother because I will murder him and I can’t be an only child with aging parents in this economy so can you please just go out there and tell me what the fuck is happening so I can throw this ring at the right person and punch out sometime before I ‘accidentally’ fall on the meat clever downstairs?’ kind of situation.”

Umida and Mere share a glance.

“Okay, well, don’t despair, new guy,” Mere says with a pat on his arm. “Save the meat cleaving for the capitalist elite. We got you. Let the pros handle this.”

“What did the note say?” Umida asks. “One ‘e’ or two? We can at least eliminate half of our options.”

Tomas does not check the note to spot whether the note-taker had written ‘fiancé’ or ‘fiancée’. He stares them down and fips the note in his fingers so the text faces them.

“It says ‘finance’.”

“Ah.”

“We’re going to need a more hands-on investigation, then,” Mere announces.

—————————-

Mere goes first, only because Umida was on her way to swap a side dressing for her table when Tomas intercepted her.

Mere carries a jug of water and makes the rounds of the outdoor tables, trying to hold in her visible distaste for the pseudo-patio vibe the owners tried to make happen out here. There’s a bike stand and a taxi stand two feet from where people are trying to have a romantic dinner. Every now and again, the LA traffic gets rowdy and noisy, completely butchering the atmosphere. There’s a shitty speaker funneling in some Frank Sinatra but it really does nothing to help.

But after this mystery is solved, none of this will be her problem anymore.

Like Tomas said, there are two men and two women sitting like cardinal points around a round table. The women are on the north and east ends, the men on the south and west ones. Two of them are brunets, one a redhead, and one a blond. They’re all disgustingly gorgeous.

And that’s all she’s got.

“The ravioli sounds so good,” the brunette woman says, casting a look at the brunet man to her side.

“Yeah, it does,” he says.

“Mm,” the blond man disagrees. “It’s got feta.”

“What’s wrong with feta?” Asks the redheaded woman.

“Absolutely nothing is wrong with feta,” he responds with a superior smile directed at the man next to him who’s preemptively adopting the look of someone ready to hear some bullshit. “Unless you have an underdeveloped palate and are simply overwhelmed by such strong delicacies as a moderately salty cheese.”

“Okay, don’t talk to me about an underdeveloped palate, Pennsylvania,” the other man responds, posturing despite the softness of his eyes.

“Hey, I said nothing to besmirch the great state of Texas. Texas is a wonder of culinary delight. I’m saying you’re...a simple man.”

“Feta’s disgusting and that’s a hill I’m willing to die on,” the brunet says with smug finality, holding the other man’s eyes until they’re both smirking and looking back at their menus.

Well then.

Mere’s a little bummed as she fills the water at table 36. She’d been hoping the mystery would run longer than 2 whole minutes, but these guys are definitely together. So the mystery will only come down to who’s getting eng—

“Thankfully Chris inherited a more refined palate,” the blond man — Pennsylvania — chirps as the last word.

“He did,” the brunette woman chimes in with a playful smile. “He loves my cooking. You both loved that greek salad I made last week, didn’t you? That had feta in it.”

“It did!” the brunet man replies, slipping his hand overtop hers. “And I loved it. So clearly context is a factor.”

Mere almost spills the rest of the water all over the lady at table 38 as she takes in the man and woman mooning at each other. Though if it’s any consolation, the redheaded woman looks as unimpressed as Mere feels.

“Yeah, I have no idea,” Mere reports back to Tomas.

“The redheads are playing footsie under the table now. That’s one couple at least right?” Tomas asks. The two of them are parked behind the bar where they can see through the window outside but the exterior tint prevents anyone outside from seeing them. The bar is still used for pouring drinks but the stools are gone — can’t maintain 6 feet between them — so the staff pretty much have the run of this corner of the restaurant.

“He’s not a redhead,” Mere mutters, looking out the window to catch the action. “It’s like a dark blond. And I don’t know, I’m pretty sure the two brunets are together, but then blond guy’s foot is way into the other guy’s space.” For a moment she’s distracted by just how damn long his legs are. “That’s certainly...familiar.”

“They’re lesbians,” Umida declares when she returns from dropping off plates at table 32.

“They’re lesbians?” Tomas parrots skeptically. “I did not get that vibe.”

“I could see lesbian for the redhead, I think,” Mere says. “Don’t know about the brunette.”

“Lesbians come in all flavours,” Umida informs them haughtily. It’s the start of Pride month and her hijab is held together by an “Ally” pin. “You can’t tell someone’s orientation just by looking at them.”

“But you’ve declared them lesbians,” Mere points out.

“Because lesbians are approaching their table and only lesbians know other lesbians.”

“That’s definitely not true,” Tomas reproaches.

“No, she’s right, lesbians coming up!” Mere watches as two more unfairly gorgeous women approach with two young boys in tow. Honestly, screw LA and their beauty standards. The parties look surprised to see each other, but they clearly know each other well. One of the boys stays with the women, but the other one breaks off to join the table.

“No, I mean you can know lesbians without being a lesbian.”

Umida and Mere ignore him.

“Okay, that’s one of their kids, right?” Umida asks. “Lesbians babysitting for date night?”

“He’s got Pennsylvania’s curls,” Mere agrees. "That's the blond guy, by the way, I think he’s from there. Brunet guy is Texas for the time being."

The boy reaches the table and is pulled into a strong hug by Texas, who then directs him to a hug with the brunette.

“Oh, unexpected.” Mere would have sworn he was a dead ringer for Pennsylvania. “But okay, that confirms the hand-holding I saw. We have a set of parents. And unless this is a super modern table, I don’t see the parents being here on dates with other people.”

“Mm, I don’t know.” Umida dithers. “That’s like an auntie hug, not a parent hug. Like if she is the mom, the kid is not happy with her.”

“Wait,” Tomas says.

The boy is wiggling out of Brunette’s grasp and rounding the table to Pennsylvania who’s waiting with a wide smile and open arms, and instead of letting go after, the boy finagles his way onto Pennsylvania’s lap to steal a breadstick. Pennsylvania reaches into the basket for another breadstick to pass to the little boy still waiting with his moms and Mere’s heart tugs a little.

Texas watches on from across the table with unrestrained fondness. His leg shifts to press against Pennsylvania’s who looks up with a smile.

“Boom, gay dads!” Tomas crows.

“And lesbians,” Umida adds.

“Redhead definitely has no part of this,” Mere notes. The woman is smiling but it’s polite and practised, not warm or welcoming. “I guess the brunets could be siblings maybe? Really close siblings?”

Finally, the babysitters make to leave so Pennsylvania kisses the boy’s temple and guides him back to his feet. Texas presses his own kiss to the boy’s curls as he passes, saying something they can’t make out from behind the glass. Brunette gets only a wave as he leaves.

“Gays and lesbians,” Umida concludes smugly.

“Okay, good,” Tomas sighs with relief. “So we know who the couples are, now who’s gettin—”

“Um,” Mere interrupts, pointing at the table.

Redhead��s foot is making its way up Pennsylvania’s leg and he shoots her a grin.

“For fuck’s sake,” Tomas spits as he walks away.

“Did you even take their order yet?” Mere calls after him. He doesn’t answer.

———-

Mere gets pulled away because now that she’s not quitting in outrage until this table 34 drama is over, she figures she should actually get back to work. Happily, having not seen her for the last 20 minutes, Mikael figured she had left or died and had taken over her section. She agrees to split half the tips with him and lets herself be pulled back into the tide of madness.

“Got it figured yet, Tim-Tam?” she asks when she passes him near the bathrooms.

“The guys are sharing their orders,” he says despondently.

“That’s not that incriminating. I split my orders with people. I’m not about to pay full price to discover if I like something.”

“No,” Tomas glares before gesturing to the window with disgust. “They’re sharing their orders.”

Tomas stalks away to hopefully take an herbal break to calm down and Mere goes back to the window just in time to catch the insanity. Mere feels Umida come up behind her and tries to suppress her shiver when her “what in all that is holy” skates across her bare shoulder.

Pennsylvania has just finished piling some of his spaghetti on Texas’ plate, which is exceedingly normal. But now Pennsylvania is reaching for Texas' burger.

“He didn’t cut that,” Umida notes.

“No, he did not.”

They have pretty messy burgers at Tilted Cactus, ones that are hard to share because if you cut them down the middle they tend to lose structural integrity. Of course, this isn’t a big concern if you’re sharing already-bitten-into burgers. Which these absolute freaks are doing.

“Gays and lesbians,” Umida declares again, the earlier smugness replaced with an air of disgust.

But when Umida walks away, Mere watches Brunette wipe something off Texas’ cheek and frowns. One throuple and redheaded side piece? Maybe?

————

“I’m struggling with lesbians as a theory,” Mere tells Umida the next chance she gets at the pickup counter. “I want to believe, but…”

“Yeah, I’m doubting now too. They’re almost exclusively talking to each other. But then I realized it was more getting-to-know-you conversation and this would be a hell of a weird first date.”

“Huh, so heteros all around?”

“Well, I also caught on that they’re spending all this time talking to each other because the guys are like in their own world. Finishing each others’ —”

“Sandwiches?”

“Exactly,” Umida grins, unexpectedly delighted by the reference. “So I don’t know. I really don’t envy Tommy.”

“Me either.”

“Hey Manish,” Umida yells out to the other side of the pickup window, “I’m picking up for Lenore but she’s got a two-seater, why do I have four dishes here?”

“Because Lenore can’t write for shit,” Mere says, picking up the order slip and squinting at the scrawl. “These are for table 24, not 29. It’s a four-seater.”

“Alright, well I guess you’re helping me, then,” Umida says with a wink.

Umida is fully capable of carrying four dishes on her own but she’s asking Mere to come with her so Mere’s already reaching for the plates, hoping the blush on her cheek can be written off as heat from the kitchen.

————-

During a slow stretch, Mere takes it upon herself to refill water and wine glasses in section 10.

From table 32 she can hear them talking about elementary school workloads.

“Oh, ah, I meant to let you know,” Pennsylvania says to Redhead, sitting up in his seat. “I can’t make it to the movies next Friday, can we move it to the next week? I should know my schedule by Wednesday.”

“Sure,” Redhead says with a hint of bite to her pleasant smile. “But I thought you had Friday off.”

“I do,” Pennsylvania says, his lips curving into a small, excited smile, “but Christopher won his class’ public speaking competition and they’re doing a kind of show of all the winners for the parents, and it’s on Friday.”

Mere moves around table 34 and heads for table 36 next, but catches the looks of discomfort on every face aside from Pennsylvania’s. He doesn’t realize he’s said something wrong, but the rest of them have.

“Isn’t that just during school hours?” Brunette woman asks.

Texas hesitates before saying, “yeah, but we’re taking him to Universal after to celebrate.”

Out of pity, Mere doubles back to table 34 and reaches for his water glass to fill. People tend to keep their drama buckled while the waitstaff is there. And sure enough, Redhead glances up and paints a tense smile on her face.

“Yeah, not a problem. That sounds exciting.”

There’s a bite to her words, and by the way his shoulders tense and his fingers curl more tightly around his fork, Texas seems to have picked up on it.

————-

By the end of the entrees, most of the staff have caught onto Tomas’ predicament and one by one everyone from the table-bussers to the cooks have gone out for a smokeless smoke break to try to be the one to divine what the hell is happening at table 34.

None are successful.

“This isn’t even like a romantic date,” Mani laments. “Like none of them are that dressed up and they’re talking about like natural disasters and shit. I don’t get a proposal vibe from like any of them.”

“Who even goes on a double date to propose? Who does that? It’s so tacky!” Gabby says from behind the bar where she’s helping herself to a quick nip before she heads home.

“Who still thinks the ring in the champagne bit is a good idea, is my question. It’s a choking hazard!” Mere says. “How romantic to start off your engagement with a trip to the ER.”

Tomas ignores them all. He looks about 10 minutes away from saying to hell with his probationary status and drinking the next hour away straight out of the vodka bottle at his elbow. “I know it’s Pride and I should be representing but I could really do with a little heteronormativity right now.”

—————-

Tomas is stalling.

Table 34 asked for dessert, of course, and when he vaguely floated the idea of champagne, Texas had readily agreed, so this is happening. The champagne flutes are lined up on a tray, the champagne in them is warming with every minute that passes, and he is no closer to figuring out what to do.

“What if I put all the glasses in the middle and they have to pick which one they want?”

“Okay but the person getting proposed to tonight likely doesn’t know?” Mikael says.

“What if you pretend you didn’t see the instructions?” Shania pitches. “As if we can ever write stuff down correctly anyway. Just say it said to bring out the champagne but nothing about the ring being in a flute! Just hand it back to the proposer and let them get it done.”

“You think we don’t know who the proposee is but we know who the proposer is?” Tomas bites. “If I knew that, Shania, I could have just called them away with a phone call or something and asked them who to give the flute to.”

“Geez,” Shania exclaims, hopping off the bar counter to walk away. “You try to help…”

“And then there were three,” Mario announces as he comes back from another completely unnecessary round of filling water glasses outside.

Tomas’ head snaps up from where he’d been staring into the countertops. “What?”

They all rush to the window and sure enough: Redhead is gone.

“I didn’t see her come in,” Mere says, almost breathlessly. If she’d come in to use the restroom, they would have seen her.

“No, she’s gone-gone,” Mario supplies. “Said she had to get back to work but I’m pretty sure she just wanted out. That’s the chick from the news, you know?”

“People still watch the news?” Mere wondered aloud.

Tomas tsks. “Redhead was the least probable suspect!”

“Well we can rule out Brunette and Pennsylvania as a couple, right?” Umida asks, waiting briefly for the gathered crowd to nod. “Okay, so we’re down to the brunets together, or Pennsylvania and Texas.”

“Or polyamorous,” Mikael sniffs. Mikael is trying polyamory. He doesn’t know there’s a bet going on how long he’ll last. It’s a fine relationship style to get into but one he and his jealousy and insecurity issues are deeply unsuited for.

“Apologies, Mikael, or polyamorous. So you have...yeah, 3 of 3 options left for that ring,” Umida grimaces.

“Wait!” So-Hee cries. She’s supposed to be hosting at the entrance but COVID-19 protocols mean people don’t show up earlier than 5 minutes before their reservation so the podium isn’t very backed up. “What does the ring look like? That could be a clue, right?”

They look to Tomas, whose face is blank.

“You didn’t look?” Mere accuses him, though to be fair it never occurred to her either.

So-Hee pounces on the deep purple velvet box without waiting for Tomas to answer.

“Please god,” Tomas mumbles, grabbing the box out of her hands and prying it open with almost reckless enthusiasm.

All six members of staff currently on duty at the window crowd around, many heads bumping together to catch a glimpse. The ring nestled in the box has a slim, dainty band with a solitaire diamond jutting out proudly, with filigree details on either side.

“Oh thank sweet baby Jesus, that is a woman’s ring!” Tomas nearly yells.

“It could be a man’s ring,” Umida protests weakly, almost sad to see the drama come to an end.

Mere’s a little put out too if she’s being honest. But even if they couldn’t tell from the design, the sizing is way too small to fit on either of table 34’s men’s fingers, as So-Hee demonstrates by plucking the ring up and sliding it onto her own tiny finger.

“Yeah, get it stuck on your sweaty fingers, So-Hee,” Tomas protests almost hysterically, feeling his win come into danger. He wrestles it back off her finger and shoves it back in the box before taking a deep cleansing breath.

“Okay, I’ve got a dessert course to deliver,” he says, the picture of calm professionalism as if he hasn’t spent the last hour losing his entire shit.

———-

They should disperse then, but like brothers in arms after battle, all of them feel the need to stand guard as Tomas prepares to deliver the goods.

Some of them, like So-Hee, stand because they’ve foolishly become emotionally invested in the upcoming nuptial bliss.

Some of them, like Umida, stand because they fell in love with their version of events and they feel the need to properly mourn for what might have been.

“They’re co-parenting that boy,” Umida grumbles. “We all saw that! They can’t deny that!”

And some of them, like Mere, stand because they really can’t be bothered to get back to work.

But stand together they do as Tomas plops the ring in one flute and carries the tray out.

“Excuse me,” comes a voice off to the side of their group.

So-Hee, ever the consummate people-pleaser, actually turns to take care of the customer. The rest of them stay fixed at the window. “Yes, sir, can I help you?”

“Maybe? I couldn’t help but notice that young man taking some champagne out.”

“Yes, would you like to order a bottle as well?” So-Hee pokes Mikael. “We’d be happy to bring some out to you.”

“Ah, no,” the man says. “Well, yes. But I’ve already ordered some. I called earlier, when I reserved my table.”

Mere stiffens, her sixth sense borne of years of customer service piquing. Beside her, Umida takes note as well.

“I asked that champagne be brought to the table with dessert, and I left a box...one that looks a lot like the one on your counter there. And I’m sure it’s just a coincidence but I couldn’t help but want to make sure it’s not my ring that just went out to that other table.”

Mere’s wide eyes spring to Umida’s.

“Oh my fuck,” Umida whispers.

Then they’re both racing for the door.

“Wrong table, wrong table, wrong table,” Mere mutters under her breath as she dodges a stroller and a dog walker trying to reach Tomas —

“Oh, Edmundo!” Brunette exclaims brightly.

Umida’s hand braces Mere like a soccer mom in a car.

It’s too late now.

There’s nothing they can do but watch this trainwreck happen.

Happily, Redhead vacated the seat nearest to them so they have an unobstructed view of Brunette’s eyes filling with tears, of Texas’ wide eyes, and of Pennsylvania’s face losing all colour.

From context, Texas is the Edmundo Brunette is so pleased with.

But Edmundo is shaking his head, his brow furrowed. “I...wha— ”

Pennsylvania comes back to himself first, though the smile he paints on his face is strained and frail. “Ah, con — congratulations.”

“Wha— Buck, no.”

Pennsylvania — Buck — stands up from the table like a colt learning to walk, his eyes darting across the table without landing anywhere. “I — ah — I should let you guys celebrate.”

“Buck, no, I—” Edmundo’s voice is firmer now, his hand darting out to reach for Buck, and Brunette starts to catch on that nobody’s getting down on one knee with a flowery speech.

“Edmundo?” she calls, her bright smile dimming.

Edmundo looks torn and trapped in equal measure, and Mere wonders for a heartbreaking moment if maybe he’s as confused about his relationships as the Tilted Cactus employees have been tonight.

With a sigh, and a reminder that she’s out of this place like Cinderella at midnight, Mere falls on the proverbial meat cleaver. Stepping around Umida’s still outstretched arm, Mere weaves herself in front of Tomas just in case there’s any physical fallout, and pitches her voice low so the neighbouring tables will have to strain to listen in.

“Excuse me, my name is Mere, I’m the assistant manager. I am so sorry to inform you there’s been a terrible mistake. We’ve delivered a ring to your table that was destined to another this evening. We apologize deeply for any confusion this has caused and we will of course be comping your meals.”

“It—Oh.” Brunette’s eyes land on the ring on her finger, and her remaining excitement implodes into embarrassment so quickly and resoundly that Mere’s surprised it doesn’t produce an audible sound. The fingers of her opposite hand grip the ring and pause for a moment before slipping it off. There’s no box to slip it into so Mere holds out her hand, the other tucked neatly behind her back.

“Thank you,” Mere says quietly. “Please forgive us for the mistake. We will be investigating what happened so it never happens again.”

“Of course,” Brunette says lightly, forcing some life back into her voice. “I’m sure you didn’t mean any harm by it.”

Her eyes lift then and take in the scene across from her. Edmundo and Buck still standing, Edmundo’s hand wrapped round Buck’s wrist to keep him from leaving, and her eyes shutter once more.

“If you’ll excuse me, I need to freshen up,” she says politely, rising from her seat and escaping into the restaurant.

Edmundo watches her go but says nothing, frozen still, holding onto the man beside him.

With all eyes more or less off them now, Mere gathers Tomas and Umida and hauls ass back into the restaurant.

————-

The ring is cleaned and inspected by Gareth, its actual owner, who is amiable enough to not escalate the situation further. His fiancée-to-be is none the wiser on any of these happenings — luckily their table, 29, is indoors — so his proposal is still on for the next course. But, just in case it doesn’t go the way Gareth hopes and he turns on them, Mere preemptively comps their meal too and congratulates him before he’s reseated.

On her way back to the kitchen, she grabs Lenore and uses the last hour of her completely fake authority to formally bar her from ever answering the phone again, or taking notes from the phone, or writing anything anywhere ever again. Lenore, having heard about the drama at table 34 and having seen the crying woman rush to the bathroom just now, accepts with little resistance.

And Mere, heart heavy with the weight of what they’ve done to this poor woman, mentally shakes her fist at her own curiosity and need for schadenfreude. If she’d bailed on this place an hour ago, she wouldn’t be leaving with this heartache by proxy.

As if beckoned by her thoughts, Brunette emerges from the bathroom just as Mere is crossing in front of it. She looks better, her tears packed away, and her cheeks only slightly reddened. Mere is about to offer her something — a glass of water? wine? a whole bottle? — when Edmundo steps into view. Mere doesn’t break stride until she’s behind the protection of the pay terminal privacy partition where she can see them but not be seen.

“Hey,” he says softly, his frame pretty loose and relaxed for a man who looked so troubled moments ago.

“Hey,” she returns with a forced smile.

“I’m so sorry, I don’t know—”

Brunette cuts him off with a hand. “It’s not your fault. They made a mistake. It happens.”

Edmundo nods.

“But…” Brunette continues, fidgeting with the strap of her purse. “For a moment, it didn’t seem far-fetched that it...might be real, you know? I know we’ve been taking things slow, but we have been seeing each other for nearly a year now. And I thought… I don’t know what I thought, but it...it didn’t seem so far-fetched.”

Edmundo’s shoulders have grown tense, and it doesn’t escape Brunette’s notice. She smiles sadly.

“But then I looked up and you weren’t even looking at me. You were looking at Buck. You were so scared he would leave and that — that just doesn’t make sense, does it? I mean, even if the...the ring was a big misunderstanding, wouldn’t it have been better that he leave so we could talk about it privately? But you were scared, because he was upset… And if he was...I don’t know...upset that you hadn’t told him about this, you could have caught up later and discussed it, cleared it up.”

Edmundo says nothing, but he hangs his head and gnaws on his lower lip.

“But you were scared. Scared of him leaving in that moment. Scared...that he’d leave with the wrong idea? That he’d leave thinking you were — we were... ” Brunette sighs sharply. “I think I’ve been a fool.”

“You haven’t—” Edmundo tries to say.

“No, I have. It’s felt so many times like there’s been a third wheel in this relationship, and I genuinely didn’t realize until now that it was me. And maybe I’m naive but I’d like to think you didn’t realize it until today either. That you’re just as big a fool as I am. And maybe Buck is too.”

Edmundo opens his mouth twice to say something but nothing comes out. In the end, he settles on, “Ana, I’m sorry. I...didn’t realize. I don’t even know if I understand what I realize. But I...I know you’re one of the best people I’ve ever met and you didn’t deserve this.”

Brunette — Ana — smiles again sadly, and if a touch bitterly, she’s entitled to it.

“Thank you,” she says softly, before fidgeting with her purse strap again. “I’m going to go. You’ll...say goodbye to Buck for me?” Edmundo nods.

“Goodbye, Edmundo.”

“Take care, Ana,” he responds.

Ana takes a few steps before stopping and turning. “Good luck. I think…” she shakes her head before repeating, “good luck,” and leaving out the side doors.

Mere unglues herself from the privacy wall and slinks sadly back to the bar where she finds Tomas and Umida already halfway through a glass of red each. There’s a third, untouched glass waiting for her.

“We’re horrible people,” Mere decides. “Brunette and Texas just broke up.”

“We didn’t do this,” Umida protests half-heartedly. “Technically, Tomas did.”

“Ugh, you ass,” Tomas sputters. “The note said table 34, you all saw it. It’s Lenore’s fault.”

“It is Lenore’s fault,” Mere agrees before downing half her glass like a shot. Out the window, she can see Pennsyl — Buck — slumped in his chair, staring at the tablecloth. There’s a fresh bottle of wine on the table, two empty glasses at his and Edmundo’s places. Mere raises a glass at Tomas for the gesture.

“If they don’t end up drinking it, I’m taking it home,” Tomas says, “I already wrote it off.”

That’s fair.

Unfortunately for him, when Edmundo gets back to the table, he immediately pours them both a very full glass.

Buck straightens out in his chair, looking concerned and looking around for Ana, who doesn’t materialize. Edmundo says something that has Buck relaxing but looking guilty. Then Edmundo shuffles closer and puts a hand back on Buck’s wrist.

“Okay, back to work,” Mere orders. “We’ve intruded on this drama way too much already.”

When she finds her way back to the bar some twenty minutes later for a totally appropriate reason, table 34 is empty.

————————

A year later, Mere finds herself sitting on the Tilted Cactus bar counter on a Friday night, legs swinging and popping olives like they’re mints. She ended up not quitting her job the night she intended to. Between the excitement, the drama, and the on-duty alcohol, she was feeling pretty chill about sticking it out at the Tilted Cactus a while longer.

But she ended up quitting two days later when the owner found out about how she impersonated an assistant manager and gave her hell for it. She could have stayed, he wasn’t really going to reprimand her. But listening to him talk down at her while her stomach filled with dread at the idea of having to apologize and walk back into that hell hole…nah. Fuck the Tilted Cactus, fuck the owner, and fuck two weeks’ notice. They weren’t getting a minute out of her ever again.

She took the gamble of taking out more student loans and was wrapping up her EMT certification. She’d be in an ambulance soon enough, actually helping people. Not the dream that got her to America, but one that would suffice for now. Make up enough karma to get her feet back under her.

“The lesbians are back,” Umida announces excitedly in a whisper as she fits herself between Mere’s legs against the bar.

“Which lesbians?”

“THEE lesbians,” Umida returns, pointing out the window.

“Those are two guys, babe. Three if you count the kid.”

“They’re lesbians,” Umida insists, waving her hand to dismiss the kid from her labels. “They have strong lesbian energy.”

“You’re claiming them for your people?” Mere grins fondly. It’s the start of Pride again and Umida’s Ally pin has been traded in for a lesbian-flag coloured hijab secured with the updated BIPOC Pride flag pin. She’s very pretty in pink, right down to the lipstick Mere isn’t allowed to kiss off of her until her shift is up.

“I am, they’re mine. I claim them.”

“Wait,” Mere squints, trying to pin down the familiar feeling she’s getting, “are those…”

“The guys! Eddie and Buck. I told you they were semi-regulars now. And we were right, that’s totally their kid. I don’t know how, especially since we know they weren’t together before that night, but he’s their kid. My money’s on one of them being trans because he’s literally their spitting image combined.”

Mere sighs happily and hugs Umida to her. “Well, I’m glad some good came out of that night.”

“Umida?” a young voice asks from across the bar. In the year since the reopening, a slew of new hires have joined the ranks to replace all the veterans leaving and Mere barely recognizes anyone anymore. She saw Mikael (unsurprisingly single again) a couple of weeks ago but he’s clearly on his way out too. Tomas lasted until his probation was over before quitting. Umida, in no small part because she was the longest lasting employee, was rightfully promoted to the role of assistant manager. Mere still hopes she’ll leave this hell hole soon but in the meantime, at least she’s getting paid. And authority looks really good on her.

“What up, Jerome?”

Jerome pushes his dark blue fringe back and holds up a sheet of paper. “I have a note here to deliver a ring to a table with dessert but it doesn’t say who’s supposed to get it.”

“Oh my god, no, no way,” Mere laughs and tries to push Umida away. “Let me out of here.”

Umida’s arms close around her hips, preventing her escape.

“Calm down. I created a form so that night doesn’t happen again. Jerome, did you use the form?”

“Um, yeah.” He shakes the sheet of paper in his hands. “I mean whoever took the call did. They checked off the table number, and it’s a ‘fiancé’ not a ‘fiancée’, but it’s a table with two guys so…”

“Okay, but there’s a field for the name, did they fill it out?”

“How am I supposed to know who they are from a name though?”

“Oh my god, kid, you schmooze,” Umida says. “You roll up to their table, you lay on the customer service thick and introduce yourself and ask their names. People are idiots, they’ll tell you, just like that.”

Jerome cocks his head in contemplation. “Yeah okay, but no, there’s no name. It’s blank.”

“But you made a form,” Mere mock whispers.

Umida turns on her, her eyeshadow catching the bar lights as she narrows her eyes. “This is not the form’s fault, don’t you blame this on the form! The form has a field for a name! The form provides!”

“The form is flawless,” Mere agrees quickly, running her hand down Umida’s arm soothingly. “You can’t account for user error.”

Umida glares harder before looking up to the ceiling in supplication.

Mere, who has never in her life been able to resist picking at a scab, asks, “what table is it?”

Jerome checks the paper. “34.”

“The cursed table. The cursed lesbians!” Mere gasps, squirming out of the way when Umida tries to pinch her side.

“Well it’s not like the kid is a contender, so it’s 50/50,” Umida points out. “Much better odds than last time.”

“And to be fair, if the wrong guy gets the flute, he can just improvise and propose with the ring in hand,” Mere continues. “Overall, much less exciting drama than last time. 3/10 for me.”

“Thank god. Yeah, let’s do that.” Jerome walks away with his marching orders and Umida turns to Mere. “I have to actually go work. You gonna hang out here?” She’s off in a half hour and they have tickets to the back row of the latest Marvel nonsense.

“I got booze, olives, and an unobstructed view of my favourite drama. I’m all set.” In lieu of a proper kiss, Mere lifts Umida’s hand and kisses her wrist, delighting in watching her girlfriend’s eyes soften. She blows Mere a kiss and flits away to put out fires.

Mere is usually on her phone while she waits for Umida but tonight she watches table 34. The guys — Eddie and Buck, Umida reminded her — are across the table from each other, Eddie is relaxed in his chair but Buck is leaning forward, elbows on the table as he tells their son a story that has him cackling in his seat. They’re not holding hands, but anyone looking can see they’re together. They have ridiculous heart eyes for each other, and from her vantage point she can see those long legs intermingling again, one knee occasionally jostling into the other. Little tangible reminders that they’re there and together.

She saw hints of this that night, and to see it have taken hold and blossomed...suddenly she’s really invested in them having a great night. One of them planned this night out, wanted to surprise the other, and she doesn’t want that going to waste because of a blank field on a form.

Mere’s wearing a dark long-sleeve blouse, not too far off the dress code, so slips off the counter, snags the backup apron they always leave behind the bar and ties it around her waist. One of the newbies whose name she doesn’t know watches her from the host pedestal and Mere raises a fierce eyebrow at them until they go back to minding their own business.

She rinses out a jug and fills it with water and ice and slips back into her customer service posture to make the rounds of the tables in section 10.

“Well now, I recognize you handsome folk, don’t I?” she schmoozes when she gets to table 34, picking up Eddie’s glass first to fill.

Eddie doesn’t place her and she doesn’t blame him, he was under a lot of stress that night. It takes Buck a second but he gets it.

“Oh hey, yeah! Weren’t you — “ Buck cuts himself off awkwardly and casts an eye to Eddie and the kid. “You, ah, gave us our meals for free! Because of the, um, mix-up.”

That’s enough for Eddie to place her, and where Buck relaxes back into his chair as she fills his glass, Eddie goes stock still.

Bingo.

“What mix-up?” the kid asks.

“Ah, they put something in our drink by accident,” Buck lies without lying. “Real choking hazard! So they gave us our meals for free.”

“That’s dangerous,” the kid says.

“It was dangerous,” Mere agrees, filling his glass. “Choking hazard was right. Could have turned a really great night all wrong with a trip to the hospital.”

Eddie’s brow furrows slightly and Mere struggles to keep a neutral face.

“It’s never a good idea to hide things in food. I don’t know why people keep trying instead of just calling us for advice. We have tons of ways to help people with surprises.”

“I completely agree,” Buck says. “We’re actually firefighters and you wouldn’t believe how many accidental choking calls we get.”

Eddie swallows, his eyes looking mildly panicked.

“Firefighters!” Mere schmoozes harder, smiling at the kid as he gets excited again. “Well I certainly feel safer then.”

“Ah, you probably shouldn’t. I was actually one of those calls once,” Buck says halfway through a smile and grimace, pointing to his throat where there’s a faint scar. “Emergency tracheotomy on the floor of a restaurant. But that wasn’t a surprise, just, ah, too enthusiastic about the breadsticks.”

Eddie’s looking decidedly gray now, eyes laser focused on the scar.

“Okay, well I’ll just go ahead and clear these,” Mere says, jokingly reaching for the bread basket until Buck laughs back.

“I’m better now, promise! Small bites, chewed thoroughly!”

“Hmm, I don’t know,” she dithers dramatically, nodding to the kid. “If I leave those here, can I trust you to keep an eye on your dad?”

“Yeah!” the kid agrees with a toothy grin.

Buck’s cheeks redden quickly but he’s still smiling, his head ducked shyly in a way Mere doubts is due to her teasing. Eddie, meanwhile, is still looking poleaxed though fondness is fighting its way back in.

“Well, I was just subbing into this section so this will be goodbye for us but it was great to see you guys! Enjoy your evening!”

“Thanks, you too!” Buck says with an easy smile. Eddie manages a “thank you” and Mere has to restrain herself from patting his shoulder as she walks away.

She’s only just returned the apron to the bar when she sees Eddie walk in and head straight for the host before being led to the back.

“Ready to go?” Umida asks, back in her unsensible heels and cross-chest messenger bag.

Mere takes the hand she extends but tugs her closer instead of following her out, before saying the worst thing she’s ever said in her life, “Actually, do you mind if we stick around a little longer?”

“Something good about to happen?” she asks, peeking out the window.

Mere tugs her in closer and leans her chin on her shoulder. “I think so.”

Twenty minutes later, when Jerome passes by with a tray of assorted chocolate treats and two overturned coffee cups, Mere and Umida find themselves bracketed by half the front and back staff. Gossip still spreads like wildfire it seems.

Buck’s overturned coffee cup and plate is the last thing Jerome puts on the table, and as soon as it’s down, he excuses himself. He keeps a professional pace until he’s past the exterior doors and then he’s racing to take a front seat at the bar.

Eddie turns over his cup but doesn’t reach for the carafe, he wipes his hands on his jeans instead.

“Oh my god, he’s so nervous,” Jerome whispers.

“The kid is so in on it,” the host whose name Mere never caught says, and they’re right. Where Eddie’s tensed up, the kid is bouncing in his seat like he knows something’s coming.

“Come on, guy,” a bus boy mutters, checking his watch. His break is almost over.

Mere’s heart is beating hard in sympathy with Eddie’s as they all watch Buck ignore his coffee cup in favor of serving their kid from the tray. Then he signals to Eddie’s plate, who can’t not lift it for the offered chocolate tortes. Finally, there’s chocolate on everyone’s plates and Buck sits back to try a piece of brownie and Eddie can’t take it anymore.

He motions to the carafe and Buck perks up, finally reaching for his cup. But just as his fingers close around it, some idiot’s dog barks on the sideway, calling his attention away. His fingers flip the cup without ever looking at it, or the plate underneath it.

“Oh come on,” Umida moans.

The dog passes with its dumbass owner and Buck puts his cup back down, or tries to, but finds something in the way. He tries again, pushing the intrusion away with the bottom of the cup.

“Oh my god,” is whined in Mere’s left ear and when she turns her head she’s surprised to find not another Tilted Cactus employee but a customer dressed to the nines, pearls and all.

“Ma’am, did you —”

“Shh,” the woman returns, her eyes never moving from the window. Mere turns back too.

Finally, Buck has managed to push the offending items off the plate and settle his cup down and it’s a nail-biting few seconds where it actually looks like he’s going to reach for the carafe and go about his business.

But like a true wingman, the little kid points directly at it, prompting Buck to push the napkin aside and pick up — the ring.

Buck freezes, holding the ring between his thumb and index. His cheeks flush and a smile begins to break over his face before he looks startled and the smile falls abruptly away.

It’s about this time Eddie realizes that proposing by recreating the night they got together was never going to be the best idea when the impetus to their relationship was an engagement ring accidentally sent to the wrong person.

Eddie vaults out of his seat and into the empty one next to Buck, wrapping his hand around the one holding the ring, and bringing his other hand to his cheek to gently turn his head until Buck is looking at him. They can’t tell what he says, but they can watch Buck’s eyes fill with tears, watch as Eddie gestures to their son who’s smiling wide and reaching out for a hand, which Buck instantly provides. His attention comes back to Eddie then, who’s saying something that gets them both looking a little fragile and it’s hard to say if he actually popped the question yet but Buck is surging forward to kiss him hard and fast. Eddie gives as good as he’s getting for a moment before he slows them with small, gentle kisses. And when they finally break apart, Eddie plucks the ring from Buck’s fingers and slides it onto his ring finger as Buck watches, his eyes wide and half incredulous.

Outside, the nearby tables break out into applause, startling the trio and reminding the two men that they are indeed out in public. Eddie acknowledges the applause with an embarrassed hand and waits until they have a modicum of privacy again before taking Buck’s hand and kissing right near the where the ring now sits. He then reluctantly shuffles back into his seat.

Inside, Mere is hugging Umida to her with a strength buoyed by love. Around them, the staff are starting to disperse, some wiping their eyes, some with goofy grins on their faces.

“Young man,” the lady in the pearls says to Jerome, holding out her credit card, “I want you to charge that family’s meal to my card.”

“Yes, ma’am. That’s very generous of you.”

The woman sniffs delicately and leaves without another word. Hopefully Jerome knows where she was sitting…

“I’m glad she did that,” Mere says into Umida’s shoulder, “I was going to, otherwise, and I’m a broke-ass student.”

“I would have pitched in,” Umida says, her voice soft and pensive. “Ready to go?”

“Yeah,” Mere agrees, sliding off the bar counter for the last time. “Oh, hold on.”

She gets closer to the window and turns the flash off of her camera before taking a pic.

“I think that’s bordering on creepy now,” Umida says without judgement.

“It’s not for me.” Mere sends the pic off with a note and three ring emojis.

They don’t make it out of the restaurant before her phone dings.

“What does Tomas have to say?” Umida asks with a smirk.

Mere pulls up the text and reads, “Gays and lesbians. Both, at the same time. Never doubting Umida’s gaydar again.”

Umida laughs victoriously, which shouldn’t be as sexy as it is, and Mere lets her drag her by the hand down the street, letting the nostalgia from tonight settle in her chest.

If there’s anything she misses from working the restaurant scene, it’s getting this glimpse into people’s lives.

Yeah, most of the work was gross, obnoxious, or mind-numbing. But every now and again, she got to be a part of strangers’ stories. Got to be there for the happiest days like graduations, or bridal showers. And even the sadder stories could be beautiful sometimes, like when she got to be extra kind to the elderly woman coming into the restaurant alone for the first time in ten years, or watch a family have their last supper together before their kid moves away for school. It’s just all so human and some kind of wonderful.

She hopes her career as a paramedic will have just a little bit of that kind of magic.

[monako-jinn-stories]

Crosshair X Fem!Reader FanFic

It Started With a Vacation

Main Master List

Story Master List

Chapter Four

Chapter Six

Chapter Five

When he entered the hanger, Crosshair looked up to see you sitting on the boarding ramp, seemingly waiting for him.

“I was slightly worried you ran off,” you said, perking up while watching him approach.

“Where would I have run off to?” He asked.

“I don’t know, somewhere in the city maybe. I came to find you and let you know we’re about to eat, in case you were hungry.”

“I suppose I could eat,” Crosshair said while leaning his rifle on his shoulder.

“Okay. Do you want me to wait for you or should I go ahead and walk to the dining hall?” Crosshair let your question linger in his mind for a few seconds, thinking over his answer. He could be snarky, but that would likely upset you, or he could tell you what he really wanted. He decided neither, opting for a vague response.

“You can wait if you want a royal escort, princess, but it really doesn’t matter to me,” he shrugged, keeping his tone mostly bland, but allowing for a slight hint of wanting to seep through. He hoped you would pick up on this and stay with him.

“Yes it does,” you said, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Well, I guess you know the answer, then,” he said as he brushed passed you. You huffed and stood up, folding your arms over your chest.

“Maybe I know the answer, but that doesn’t mean I’ll do what you want!” You called into the ship he had disappeared into. You turned and went to head back inside the palace, but stopped at the bottom of the ramp and waited for him.

“I guess the princess wanted an escort after all,” Crosshair teased as he walked down and joined you.

“Please, I was only being nice,” you countered.

“Is this apart of you teaching me how to be nice?”

“Maybe,” you said, pursing your lips.

“Hmm, then I guess I’ll have to remember to add ‘being snarky when I feel like it’ to my list of what is acceptable.”

“I wasn’t being snarky!” You countered.

“Whatever you say, princess.”

“Stop calling me that.”

Crosshair just gave you a smug look in response before he looked forward again. You walked in silence as you both sorted through your thoughts. There was something off about Crosshairs force signature. You had noticed it earlier but didn’t think much of it until now.

“Are you…upset?” You asked as you stopped and looked at him, realizing what you were feeling from him.

He paused, meeting your gaze with uncertainty.

“Why would I be upset?” He questioned, though you couldn’t help but feel like there was a reason, he just didn’t want to admit it.

“I don’t know. You just feel…bothered by something.”

“I assure you I’m quite alright,” he lied.

“Crosshair, you don’t have to hide things from me. I want you to be comfortable enough to talk to me like a friend.”

He squinted his eyes slightly at you, mentally flipping through his options again. He could open up to you, but then you might think he’s weak. Or he could keep it from you, and let you continue to believe he’s cold and distant.

“I’ll…think about telling you later,” he finally responded. You gave him a small smile and nodded, continuing to walk again.

“That’s all I can ask for,” you said before motioning to the dining hall doors. “Come on, me and Tech made a new dish. We wanted to wait until you were with us to try it.”

Crosshair paused his movements again, unable to help the words that instantly fell from his mouth.

“Do you like him?”

“What?” You asked, turning to face him. “Like him? Like, romantically?”

“Exactly. Do you like him romantically?”

Your eyes widened slightly and you held his gaze for a second before laughing.

“How is that a funny question?” He asked, teeth clenching around the toothpick that was in his mouth.

“Because,” you giggled, “you think I like Tech?”

“It’s not so far fetched of an assumption given your…fondness and the effects you have on him.”

“I can assure you that, though he is quite adorable, especially with his goggles, I do not like Tech romantically.”

“What about Hunter?”

“Oh, please. Hunter may have his charms but they don’t work on me. And before you ask, no, I don’t like Wrecker either. None of those boys are my type.”

“What is your type?”

“Honestly, I don’t really know. I just know it’s not them,” you responded while shrugging your shoulders before folding your arms over your chest and giving him a quizzical look. “Why do you care so much?”

“I don’t,” he denied a little too quickly.

“Mmmkay. Whatever you say,” you said while walking into the dining hall, leaving him to stand slightly flustered by his own actions. Why did he ask you those things? And why did he actually care about the answers? He shook his head to clear it before he went in after you. He silently took the open seat that was next to you and went to take a bite of his food when he noticed you and Tech watching him intently.

“Can I help you?” He asked, lowering the fork he had been lifting to his mouth.

“Oh, I was just watching for your reaction,” Tech spoke. You nodded in agreement. The others had all already taken bites, and Crosshair was the last to try the dish. He shrugged and rolled his eyes before he took the bite, keeping his face blank and void of reaction.

“Not too bad,” he said, taking another bite. A wide smile broke across your face and you high-fived Tech across the table. Crosshair found himself internally reveling in the joy on your face. Something about how his opinion seemed to delight you spurred him to say more.

“It’s actually quite amazing,” he said, watching from the side of his eye as you practically beamed. He quickly took another bite to counter the smile that wanted to show itself.

“Well, I’m glad you like it!” You responded before you yourself took another bite.

This time, as you all ate and talked, Crosshair joined in on the conversations. You even got to see his joking side, which at first you had thought he was just being rude, though from his brother’s reactions, you realized that sarcasm and snide comments was his humor. You felt like you were getting closer to maybe forming a friendship with him, and you even swore you saw a slight smile at one point.

“You guys want to play some more games?” Wrecker asked when you all finished. “You could join us this time, Cross.”

“I think I’m all gamed-out for today,” Hunter responded.

“Yes, I have to agree with Hunter. I think I’d be quite bored if I played another one,” Tech added.

“We can watch a holovideo,” you suggested. They nodded in agreement, and you turned to get Crosshair’s answer. “Are you going to join us?”

He was silent for a minute before he looked to meet your gaze. You watched him study you for a second, patiently waiting for him to decide. You knew he probably saw the slight hope in your eyes, wanting him to join you. You hoped that if he did, he would succumb to your want.

“I’m not really in the mood for holovideos,” he finally said. Your shoulders slumped forward the slightest bit at his words.

“Okay,” you merely said while shrugging, not knowing how else to respond. You looked away and gathered up your dishes, standing to take them to the kitchen before you, Tech, Hunter, and Wrecker went to watch the holovideo.

You tried your hardest to pay attention, but after the first five minutes, you couldn’t keep your mind focused on the screen in front of you. The words and sounds coming from the projected image passed right by your ears, instead dying out around you. You couldn’t stop thinking about the lone clone. You could feel him, so much more strongly than the others, including Wrecker who currently had his arm slung around your shoulders as you shared the couch. Crosshair’s force signature was all but consuming you. He wanted someone to come find him, that much you knew. But he didn’t want just anyone, he wanted you. He was subconsciously hoping that you would chose to be with him over his brothers. He may not know how or why, but he wanted to be around you. He needed to talk to you, but he didn’t know how to find the words.

You decided you would go find him. You sat up, which drew Wrecker’s attention from the screen.

“You alright, y/n?” He asked.

“Yeah, I think I’m just going to go for a walk across the grounds,” you said as you stood up to leave. The boys gave each other questioning looks before they all shrugged and went back to watching the screen.

You wandered out to the front of the palace, following the trail in the force that led to the clone. The sun was beginning to set, and you could see dark clouds blotting the sky. You caught sight of Crosshair leaning his shoulder against a marble column, his back towards you as he watched the sky. You slowed your steps as you neared, not having prepared what you would say to him.

“I watched the sunset last night,” he suddenly said, without turning to acknowledge you. “It was just as beautiful as this one.”

“They usually are here,” you responded, glad to not have to be the one to talk first.

“Not many sunsets on Kamino. And we don’t usually stay on planets long enough to watch them.”

The short conversation ended there as you both went back to silence. You stood slightly behind him, watching as the colors in the sky danced around each other. To others, it might have been breathtaking, but you had grown up watching this. Of course, you still found it beautiful, but not in the same way that others did.

“Why did you come find me?” He asked after a while, the sun half below the horizon now.

You pressed your lips together, thinking before you responded.

“I thought you might want some company,” you offered.

“There’s more to it than that, though, isn’t there?”

“I-well, it felt like you were wanting me to find you,” you admitted. “I don’t know why, but it was like you were reaching out to me through the force. Well, in a way that nonforce-sensitives do.”

“Hmm,” he hummed, and you saw a slight frown fall onto his lips.

“B-but I can go if you want,” you said before turning to head back inside, thinking that maybe it was just you wanting to find him, not him wanting you to be around, that you had felt.

“No,” he said quickly, “you can stay.” He had turned slightly and his hand was half extended, as if he had gone to stop you. You watched as it fell back to his side, and he turned away again. “But you don’t have to if you don’t want to. I’m sure the others are wanting you to be with them.”

“No, they’re too invested in the holovideo to care,” you said as you moved to stand next to him again.

“You didn’t enjoy it?” He asked while giving you a glance from the side of his eye. He took in your beauty for a second, noting how the colors of the sunset before you danced on your skin, highlighting the best spots. The sunset may be pretty, but he found himself looking at something more beautiful, even if he was only looking for a second.

“I couldn’t focus on it. I just kept thinking…” your voice trailed as a slight tinge came to your cheeks.

“Lose your words, princess?” Crosshair said coyly as he took in your fluster.

“Wha-no, it’s just…not something I want to share.”

“You can admit it if you were thinking about me,” he teased with his perfectly emotionless tone. “I won’t judge you for it. I know I’m a handsome man.”

“Wait-no, that’s not why I was thinking about you,” you stammered out, blush deepening slightly. He raised a brow at you as he folded his arms across his chest. “I mean, not that you’re not handsome,” you added, “that’s just not why-kriffing hells. I don’t need to explain myself to you,” you said, shaking your head and folding your own arms over your chest.

“Well, it’s quite entertaining to watch you try.”

You rolled your eyes at his comment before looking back at the sky. The sun was nearly gone, and the stars had begun shining.

“Join me for a walk?” You asked, holding out your hand invitingly to him. He eyed it for a moment, before he took a step forward, going to your side. For a second you thought you saw his hand reaching to take your hand in his, but maybe you had imagined it. You led him down the steps, following the path that led into the gardens. You were silent as you walked, neither of you exactly knowing what to say. You wanted to say something to assure him that he was welcome here, and he wanted to explain to you the turmoil that was currently his mind.

You walked for a while before the silence was broken by Crosshair again.

“How honest can I be with you,” he asked, stopping in his tracks. You turned to face him, slightly shocked by his question.

“As honest as you’re comfortable being,” you replied. He didn’t meet your gaze, instead focusing on the ground. His eyes were narrowed in concentration, no doubt the gears in his brain turning to try and come up with his next words.

“Do you really want to know why I was upset earlier?” He questioned after a minute.

“If you’ll tell me.”

“This is going to sound childish,” he scoffed. “Honestly, I can’t even think to why it bothers me so much, but it karking does.” You waited patiently for him to reach what he wanted to say. He still refused to meet your gaze, instead his eyes flitted to stare daggers at something else.

“You were complimenting my brothers on how good of a job they had done with lunch. You were praising them, and making them practically glow.” His face turned slightly sour as he remembered the hints of red on Tech’s cheeks and look of admiration from Hunter. “And it’s not that I don’t think they deserved it, because even I’ll admit they did. It’s that, through all of your words, I had waited for you to say something to me.” He finally looked at you, and the realization slowly came to you. “But you never did.”

“Crosshair…” you said, guilt suddenly flooding you. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize-“

“No, you didn’t. No one ever does,” he responded, and you could see him visibly closing off again. You internally panicked, not wanting his walls to go back up just yet.

“Crosshair, wait,” you said as he had turned to begin walking away. You took this small opportunity to reach out and grab his wrist gently. He stiffened at your touch, but he stopped moving away.

“I understand what it’s like wanting recognition, wanting to be noticed,” you said, hand still on his wrist. "The king and queen, they never seemed like they wanted me. No, not seemed. They never did want me. They weren't loving or caring at all. I always wanted to try and please them, but it barely worked. I spent my childhood trying to earn their praise, but it never came.” You let go of him as he turned to face you, his eyes still blank. “My master, Codo, was the only real parent I ever had. And even he wasn’t able to give me his full love. As a Jedi and my master, he had to put up his own boundaries. And I’m not telling you this to get your pity-“

“You weren’t going to get it, princess.”

“Well, either way, I’m telling you because I know how it feels. Or at least something similar.”

He shook his head, looking down again. “There wasn’t even anything for you to compliment me on,” he said. “I turned on the stove and boiled some noodles, that’s all.”

“Every amount of effort is commendable,” you countered. “And, to be quite honest, you did cook them perfectly.”

“You’re just saying that.”

“No, I’m being serious. Dohbarian pasta is different from other types. It’s harder to cook. I’d prove it to you if I knew how. Tech could probably tell you why, if he researched it.”

“I’ve heard enough of Tech’s rambling about this place,” Crosshair said sourly.

“You know, it would be nice if you guys appreciated his words more,” you spoke, turning the conversation to a different topic. “You may not see it, but it hurts him when all you guys respond with are groans and eye rolls. And yes, it may be boring and meaningless stuff to you, but he does it in the hopes that you’ll hear something that actually sparks your interest.”

“Really? And how did you come to that conclusion?”

“By talking to him,” you stated flatly. “By actually listening to what he’s saying.”

“Well, if you’re so good at listening to people, maybe you should try listening to what I say,” Crosshair said, his mood towards you turning sour.

“I do! But it’s kind of hard when you don’t even know what you’re saying, or what you want to say,” you shot back.

“I’m trying but it’s hard!” He yelled, fists clenched at his sides as he stared you down. You gave him the same intense stare back before you sighed and closed your eyes.

“Arguing isn’t going to help anything,” you said quietly after a minute.

“I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s okay. It’s good to get things off your mind, even if you have to yell them,” you said opening your eyes again.

“And that’s not what I meant when I said I didn’t want to hear anymore from him. I meant I’d rather hear it from you,” he explained while looking away. “Can we…try talking again?” He sounded hopeful when he spoke, and who were you to try and stop him from opening up more.

You nodded, responding with, “Of course.” Patience was key to getting through to this clone, and you would give him all the patience you had if you needed.

He nodded before dropping his gaze again, thinking of what to talk about to avoid another explosion from either of you.

“I met Kwol today,” he said, thinking back to the time spent in the shooting range. “He took me to the shooting room. He’s not a very good shot.”

“He’s more of a hand-to-hand combat person. He focuses more on troop strategies as well.”

“He said you used to shoot,” Crosshair commented. “Said you were a pretty good shot. I’m kind of curious to see if he’s right.”

“I haven’t shot for a long time, I’m probably not as good as I was,” you said with a small hint of amusement.

“You could always use your Jedi skills to help you. Though I think that might be cheating.”

You shook your head, smiling slightly. “No, I usually disconnect from the force when I shoot. I like to make sure my skills are as good as possible without having to rely on the force because who knows, someday I might get hurt or something and not be able to use it.”

The idea of you getting hurt bothered Crosshair. Of all the people he’d met, you were the one he believed deserved to be safest. You cared so much for others and seemed like you’d do anything to see them happy, like you were trying with him. A person like that didn’t deserve to be hurt, in any way. And yet here he had been, hurting you almost every time he was in your presence, just by speaking to you.

“Well, let’s hope it never comes to that,” he mumbled more to himself than to you. You had heard it though, and toyed around with the meaning for a few minutes.

“You’re a distraction,” he said, interrupting the silence.

“A distraction?”

“Yes. My mind hasn’t been able to focus on anything but you since we’ve met, and it’s distracting.”

“Sorry?” You replied uncertainly, not exactly understanding his confession.

“No, it’s not a bad thing. It’s just confusing.”

“How so?”

Crosshair thought for a moment, wondering how best to go about this.

“I’m feeling…new things. Things I don’t know what to call. Some good, others…almost sour.” He looked at you, and you thought the look he gave you meant he expected you to have the answers.

“I…wish I could help,” you replied, “but I’m going to need more descriptions than just that if you want me to figure them out.”

He shook his head, dismissing your words. “I think I need to figure these out myself if I’m going to learn to recognize them.”

“Okay. But if you ever want help,” you gave him a small smile, hoping that he would understand. He nodded, before looking up at the sky.

“Earlier, you asked what had made me want to change,” he remembered out loud. “And you told me that I needed to be more honest. And if we’re going to talk, I might as well give you another answer.” His eyes darted to yours briefly before he looked away again. This time you took note of it. Every time he was opening up and being honest, he refused to meet your gaze. You guessed that it was already a lot for him to talk like this, and that keeping eye contact would make it that much more difficult.

He opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by something landing on his face. He brought a hand up to wipe it off, and you felt something land on you. Then another. You realized the dark clouds you saw earlier must have been rain clouds, and you held in a giggle at the grimace on his face.

“You were saying?” You pressed, not wanting to force him to continue, but being intrigued by what he had begun to say. He brought his eyes to yours again, and didn’t look away this time. You saw his fists clench as he went to speak.

“You,” was all he said. You waited for him to continue, but he didn’t.

“Me?”

“Yes. You. Everything is about you. And only the Maker knows why, but it’s irritating, because I feel like I should know why.”

You didn’t know how to respond. Your mind instantly went to one answer, but it couldn’t be possible. There was no way that was the reason for you to be taking up his mind.

“I-sorry. Would it help if I just…left you alone?”

“No,” he said quickly. “Even if I’m not around you, it’s still just you. It’s almost bearable when I’m with you, the not knowing why. I can put up with it easier having you around. But I don’t just need you around, I want you around.”

You don’t know what to say to his words. Though you knew better, you were half expecting him to confess his love for you right then and there, like some cliché holovideo, where it ends with you kissing in the rain.

“Then I’ll be here if you need me. And I won’t leave until you tell me to.”

“Thank you,” he said quietly, finally breaking away from your gaze. You let out the breath you didn’t realize you had been holding. The rain suddenly began to pour harder, drenching both of you.

Crosshair watched as you turned your face up to the rain, closing your eyes and letting it run down your face. He tried to ignore the hitch of his breath and weird feeling he got as he took in the sight. The way the droplets reflected the moonlight on your skin made it look like you were sparkling. You felt his eyes on you, and opened your own to meet his gaze. He held it for a second before he put a blank expression back on, but not before you caught the wondrous look he had.

“See something interesting?” You joked, using his line from earlier. He shook his head, rolling his eyes.

“No.”

“How unfortunate,” you said. He looked back at you for a second, amusement flashing in his eyes. You swore you saw a small smirk on his lips before he grabbed your arm and pulled you under the cover of your balcony.

“Don’t want to get sick out in the rain,” he said. You bit your lip as you looked up at him. He had pulled you very close, close enough to feel his breath on your skin. He stepped back as he realized this as well, letting go of the arm he held.

“It’s getting late,” he said while noting the moons position in the sky. “We should get back inside.”

“If you want,” you said while shrugging. He hesitated for a second as he reached for the door.

“This was…nice. Relieving to get things off my chest.”

“I’m glad, Crosshair. I hope that you’ll be able to relax a bit more now.”

“Goodnight, princess,” he said before opening the door and walking inside.

“Goodnight, Crosshair,” you replied. “And stop calling me that!” You yelled before the door shut. You turned and climbed the stairs up to your balcony that you had been standing under. You decided not to go find the others to tell them goodnight, you wanted to clean up in the refresher and get to bed as soon as possible. You needed to sleep on Crosshair’s confessions. You also needed to sleep on how he was making you feel. Once again, he was somehow worming his way into you, but you didn’t know if that was such a bad thing anymore.

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