#so nyeah

[onceuponapuffin]

Fanatic Intervention Part 9!!

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*****************

You pound your way to the nearest bar, where everyone had agreed to meet. The three of them are standing around, talking over glasses of wine. Your hands are in fists, your nails digging into your palms as you approach. They acknowledge you as you enter their field of vision, but you say nothing. Instead, you beeline for Aziraphale, put your arms around him, and hang on for dear life. Sometimes you just need to hug an angel.

There’s a pause where Anathema says something about your aura, and then Aziraphale hugs you back.

Dear Reader, I’m not sure if it ever happened in your life, but for this Puffin there came a time when it was made very clear that wanting to be held or wanting to lean on another person in public was unacceptable (and, in fact, embarrassing) once you reached a certain age. And yet, we as humans are social creatures. The need to be held is a very normal response, especially after something particularly upsetting happens (like having the sanctity of washroom privacy violated, for example). Perhaps you’re not the kind of person who, out of nowhere, feels the desire to be held, but perhaps you know someone who is. And so, I would like to impress upon you the incredible difference it makes, the immeasurable relief it brings, to know that you have someone with you who will hold you back without question or comment. Just hold you, and wait.

Aziraphale makes it clear he intends to do just that.

“Take your time, dear,” he says gently. And so you do.

After a moment, the clink of a glass next to you makes you look up. Someone has given you a glass of the same wine everyone else has. You pull away and take a sip, feeling much calmer and very grateful.

“Thanks,” You say.

“Anytime,” Aziraphale replies.

“What happened?” Anathema asks.

Thus, you recount how Metatron trapped you in the washroom until he had said his peace. By the time you finish, there are three very angry faces around you. You feel validated enough to take another, much larger, sip of the wine. Aziraphale is the first to speak.

“Well for starters, I invite you to stay in my bookshop however long you like. Pet indeed! You are a help, yes, but you are a guest, and certainly not disposable, whatever he says.”

“And,” Crowley adds, “From what you said, Aziraphale and I can get you home whenever you want anyway. Probably, I mean. No dUbIOus motives involved, at least.”

Anathema seems to be thinking. After another few seconds, she asks:

“Why did you take the coffee?”

You all look at her, surprised.

“Well I mean,” she continues, “If the Metatron wants to know, he probably has a reason. If you tell us, maybe we can figure it out for ourselves and find a way around it.”

“Or they could just not tell him,” Crowley suggests with snark. “Then it doesn’t matter.”

“I mean, it might,” Anathema counters, “We don’t know that it doesn’t.”

“I took it because of the Coffee Theory,” You say with a shrug. It’s not like it’s a big deal. “But I mean, I don’t know why that would matter to him.”

“Well,” Anathema says, “That might depend on what the Coffee Theory is.”

“Well, it’s the idea that the Metatron did something to that coffee he was going to give Aziraphale. To, like, make Aziraphale trust him, or listen to him or whatever, so that he would go back to Heaven.” You pause. “There’s also an interpretation of it where it was a metaphor like ‘take my offer or face death.’ But most people think about the first one, and that’s the one that was in my brain when I did it. There aren’t a lot of people who actually believe it. I mean, not anymore, anyway.”

“So you think the Metatron drugged Aziraphale’s coffee?” Anathema raises an eyebrow. “And you drank it, yes? So...did he?”

“No,” You reply, “It was exactly what it was supposed to be. An oat milk latte with almond syrup. And I didn’t think he actually messed with it. I just wasn’t willing to take the chance, that’s all.”

Crowley’s face scrunches. “And you think he might need to know that for some reason?” He looks pointedly at Anathema.

“He might,” She gives a thoughtful hum. “I’ll think about it. I might ask the Cards later.”

-----------

The wait for boarding didn’t feel so long after that. As you board, you notice how spacious First Class is. Aziraphale and Crowley sit in the seats ahead of you and Anathema, with Aziraphale in the window seat. You notice Crowley casually trying to stick his legs out into the aisle and wonder vaguely whether it’s because he needs the space, or to try and trip the flight attendants. Both? Probably both. Okay, definitely both, you note, as a stewardess almost falls face-first into the aisle. Aziraphale gently swats at Crowley in reprimand, but you can tell it’s half-hearted and wholly-fond.

Your only trouble comes when you need to use the washroom, but Anathema, ever clever and aura-observant, suggests to go with you so that you can knock if anything goes wrong. Thankfully, nothing does, and you both return to your seats.

“You know,” Anathema says, leaning forward, “I just overheard the strangest thing. It seems that all of the normal airline food on this plane has gone missing. All that they have to serve is the first-class food.”

“Wait,” You say, holding back a laugh, “So everyone on this flight gets to eat the fancy, chef-prepared, gourmet meals?”

Crowley doesn’t hold back his laugh. “Oh, the big bosses won’t like that!”

“You two wouldn’t have had anything to do with that, would you?” Anathema asks suspiciously. You notice she’s smiling while she says it.

“Psh!” Crowley waves away the thought. “Why would I? Doesn’t matter to me either way.”

“Honestly, Miss Device,” Aziraphale adds, “I have no idea why you immediately accuse us of something that seems so clearly to be a mere...clerical error.”

Ah-ha! Culprit found. Clerical error your arse.

“You know,” You sigh, “It really is no wonder why Crowley loves you so much.”

“Ngk,” says Crowley. Aziraphale responds with a pleased-sounding hum. You relax, and notice between the seats that Aziraphale places his hand on top of Crowley’s and leaves it there.

They like holding hands – your insides scream.

--------

When you disembark from the plane, you hear all the other passengers around you complimenting the flight attendants on the excellent food and promising to leave excellent reviews online. You keep your laughter as quiet as you can. Aziraphale’s little prank is going to cause the airline issues for YEARS. Crowley must be so proud.

The speed and ease with which you clear customs and baggage claim is probably because you’re traveling with two supernatural entities. In no time at all, you’re outside of the airport flagging down a cab. Crowley opens the door with enthusiasm and outright glee.

“After you, Angel,” he says, “You think 90 miles an hour in London is bad, I can’t wait for you to see this!”

Dear Reader, I don’t know if you have ever been to New York City, but I assure you that Crowley’s driving has nothing on the NYC cabbies. Aziraphale spends the entire drive trying to hold on to something and taking deep breaths as the cab violently jerks to a stop millimeters from the car in front. You suggest he close his eyes. He does. It doesn’t seem to help.

-------

The taxi lets you out in front of The Ritz. Because of course you’re staying at The Ritz. Aziraphale goes to check in while Crowley tells Anathema he needs the washroom, and mutters to you that he wants to empty all the soap dispensers. You try so hard to hold in your laughter that it comes out your nose anyway. The demon flashes you a cheeky grin before disappearing around the corner. Anathema looks at you.

“Probably been a while since he had a fresh audience,” You say to her. She chuckles.

“And you’re so obliging too. No doubt he’s having a great time with all this.”

“Hey, Anathema,” You begin uncertainly, “How...I mean...I’m just worried about...things. How are we going to find Jesus anyway? I just...I don’t really have anymore information to give. I don’t even know if he’s going to be a baby or an adult this time.”

“Hm...” Anathema thinks for a minute, “Well, I’m going to try and get some readings, see if I can get some kind of direction for us to go in. It’s a big country, but what I’m hoping is that it will sort of work like dowsing.”

“Dowsing? Like looking for water with sticks?”

“Sort of. In a nutshell, you pay attention to the vibrations in the Earth, and the closer you get, the stronger the vibrations become. It makes sense to think that Jesus would make pretty noticeable vibrations. That’s my working hypothesis anyway.”

You nod. That will do for now. Aziraphale and Crowley both return, with the demon wiping his hands on his trousers, and the four of you take the elevator to your room.

The Royal Suite.

“Are...you….serious??” Anathema asks. Honestly, you’re too stunned looking around the enormous suite with four bedrooms to say anything. It’s bigger than most houses. You take out your phone and start taking pictures.

“Well, if we’re going to stay at The Ritz,” Aziraphale says cheerfully, pronouncing the capital letters, “Best to do it Properly.”

“But this is ridiculous!”

Aziraphale isn’t paying attention anymore. He’s gone to tell Crowley not to draw mustaches on the expensive artwork.

“Unlimited resources,” You say to her, “Make for expensive taste.”

“No, kidding,” she sighs, “I’m glad you’re here. I’m gonna need some help with these two.”

Ha, You think to yourself, I knew it.

❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ 🖤

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^ If you want to see JUST how ridiculous the royal suite is.

[solongandgoodknight]

meeting gay people in real life and going to lgbt spaces around you and meeting the community there is the easiest way to realise 90% of gay online discourse is profoundly unhelpful and useless and no one actually gives a shit about it in real life.

[sentient-cloud]

Heyyyy me again, here with a more permanent commissions post!

To put it lightly, world is a fuck. These are going to be open long term. Browse my wares if you’d like!

[enhanced-operatives-division]

i don't think you've made a solaris design yet.... but am i allowed to request solaris anyways. or will i get beaten with two billion hammers until i die. for this.

No hammers for you, these asks hold me accountable to actually design the characters...

Filled a double page spread with just her...thus the 'Oops! All Solaris'

On THAT note, +2 sketchbook pages filled, 6/30 completed. I have 2 weeks until my hand in so I gotta pick up the pace. Blimey.

[verm1c1de]

well NOBODY PROMMIED so mewre getting red fanservice under a readmore >:((

[transpanda-1]

🧵Oh. Um. Er. We didn't realize Vanitas had nothing to do with time travel in KH3. We just assumed he gained more power from monster's inc world, not that he was *literally recreated* there.

Uh.............................. *cough*, let's just ignore that lil tidbit and-wuh. Wait a minute he was time traveling in Dream Drop Distance right???

Ugh, KHIII!!!!! *shakes our fist at it* always complicating our fic writing!!

[dulcegal]

NEVER GO INTO THE MILES MORALES X READER TAG

[yelenapines]

got bored in chemistry class

[nishibai]

Cake!!! :D good job!!!

yup ! i just have to wait for it to cool down so i can frost it ^_^

[deuvdas]

mmm...

[chernozemm]

-So....you're not like us? -Nyeah, no, we look similar, but we are angels. Er, my colleague is. I'm a demon. -What's the difference? -Hah, good question. I guess you could say I had to leave our Eden, in a sense. -...and he didn't go with you? -He...that's...It's not like with you and Adam. Uh, sorry for getting you kicked out, by the way. I didn't know She'd be so tetchy about the apple. -Don't be, it was getting kinda boring in there. -...knew I liked you for a reason.

i'm a crowley&eve friendship truther, and a big proponent of nanny! crowley to cain and abel (later events ....notwithstanding)

[midoribai]

I love feeding people donuts

- donut anon

and i love having midori receive the donuts. thank u donut anon !

[notjaydair]

Day 6: Co-Worker 🐇🐰

@ggyweek2024

Gregory DON'T MESS AROUND ON THE JOB!!! Here's my contribution for Day 6 of GGY Week!! I am SO proud of this one because I pushed through a lot of art block to get it done and worked the longest on this piece. The Dr. Rabbit design belongs to @boringa55binch! I didn't have one at the time and I love theirs sooo nyeah, its the same except with some changed or missed details. Anyway here's Greg and his coworker (hahaha get it cause they both work for...)

[worselydrawnaranea]

ardentGossiper [AG] is here!! admirableCuteness [AC] is here!! AG: Today, we will 8e interviewing Meulin Leijon! Please do say hi, dear!

AC: (/ᐠ. ｡.ᐟ\ᵐᵉᵒʷˎˊ˗) HELLO EVERYNYAN!

AG: Now, here's your first question: loud and clear........

AG: How are you today, Meumix ::::) ?

AC: (=^.w.^=) 3333333!!!!! I'M DOING JUST PURRFECT! MEOW ARE YOU DOING? AG: That's excellent! And I'd say I'm doing well, 8ut much 8etter than I usually would....

AG: (A 8it 8ecause I'm talking to you)

AC:(/ᐠ ᵒ̴̶̷̥ ‸ ᵒ̴̶̷̥ ᐟ\ﾉ) I FURR'D THAT!

AG: (le 8lush)

AC: (/ᐠ ///.⋏./// ᐟ\ﾉ)

AG: Now, after that em8arrasing pause, let's get on to our next question, shall we? AC:(=/ᐠ^▽^ᐟ\=) 3333333 YES PL33ASE TELL M33!!!

AG: Okay,,,,,,,,hmm AG: YES, I'VE GOT 8!

AC: (?/ᐠ・x・ᐟ\)σ) 8? AG: "It"-------may8e I should use the auditory 8 less.

AG: Anyways, how do you feel a8out being the first one I interview and most voted for? AC: (=^●__●^=) WOAH, YOU MEAN I WAS THE MOST VOTED FUR?

AG: Yeah :::) AC: (=/ᐠ^▽^ᐟ\=) MOG MOG MOG MOG MOG 333333333333!!!! I FEEL SO GREAT! PAWESOME! PURRFECT! AG: Glad to hear that! AG: I have a few more questions for you since our viewers wanted you so much........ AG: 8ut furst...Ships, GIVE THEM TO ME MEOW!

AC: (ᶠᵉᵉᵈ ᵐᵉ /ᐠ-w-ᐟ\ﾉ)WOAH THAT'S BOLD! AT L33AST TAKE ME TO DINNER FIRST!

AG: ::::) Make it dessert at the nearest café in these dream 8u88les and we've got a deal, hon ::::D AG: 8ut please do continue!

AC: (ಇ/ᐠ ̥ᵔ ̮ ᵔ ̥ ᐟ\ಇ) 333333 WHERE DO I START? OH WELL, FURRST THINGS FURRST, MATESPRITSHIPS!

AC: (ಇ/ᐠ ̥ᵔ ̮ ᵔ ̥ ᐟ\ಇ) MITUNA <3 LATULA! OTP FR <3333333 JUST IDK IF THE NAME IS MITULA OR LATUNA?

AG: I'll ask them when I get to that. Carry on!

AC:(ಇ/ᐠ ̥ᵔ ̮ ᵔ ̥ ᐟ\ಇ) PURRIM <3 DAMARA!! MIGHT BE AN ODD PURR BUT I THINK THEY COULD DESTROY THE CATPURRIARCHY TOGETHFUR! AND FINALLY, MY MOIRAIL ASKED ME TO SHIP THIS (ALTHOUGH I AM STILL NOT SURE), SO...HORUSS <3 RUFIOH. THAT'S ALL I'M SAYING ABOUT THAT!!

AC:(ಇ/ᐠ ̥ᵔ ̮ ᵔ ̥ ᐟ\ಇ) MEOW, ONTO THE MEOWRAILS! FURRST UP, ME AND MINE: MEWLIN <> HORUSS! I FUR ONE DID NOT EXPECT THIS, BUT IT'S FUN NONETHELESS! NEXT IS PURRIM <> LATULA, I JUST THINK THEY'D BE PURREAT! FINALLY, MITUNA <> PURRLOZ. I DON'T REALLY HAVE ANY BLACK SHIPS ANYMORE, BECLAWSE I DON'T THINK I COULD EVER HAVE HIS TALENT IN THE ART OF RAGE

AG: Speaking of Kurloz,,,,,,,how exactly are you two now? It's okay if you don't want to answer, I understand what happened....

AC: (/ᐠ=ᆽ= ᐟ \∫)DON'T PURRY, WE JUST PURROKE UP!

AG: Oh dear. Are you alright?

AC: (/ᐠ𝅒▿𝅒ᐟ\ﾉ)NYEAH I'M PURRFECTLY FINE! NEXT QUESTION!!

AG: Um........Oh, there's just one more!

AG: This Friday, would you go on a picnic with me and Porrim? She's 8een asking for you, and I'm quite partial to having you there too!

AC: (/ᐠ . ۪ . ᐟ\ﾉ) 3333 ABSOLUTELY!

AG: Thank you, we will all 8e glad.

AG: And with that, our furrst- I mean, first interview comes to a close! See you next time, when we interview Kankri Vantas :::(

[enhanced-operatives-division]

Collection of doodles, warm-ups and yearning from the last week or so

[verm1c1de]

Tell us about how you perceive Irken aging

hmmm ive made posts about this but i guess ill put it in one ask this time

irkens mostly age bcs of outside furces rather than standard units of aging. a 2000 yo irken can be mentally younger than a 20 yo irken simply bcs the 20 yo irken was raised diffurently

irk likes to keep irkens in childhood beclaws children are more easily influenced and less likely to rebel ((i know this is true. i was a dumb child. tv advertisements got to me all the time))

but "going native," as it were, can trigger a diffurent aging purrocess. but it all depends on what is influencing the irken. one on earth will have a human development, but one on vort will have a much more extended development