#i got into an argument with appa more than once today

[deuvdas]

mmm...

[electronswrites]

@spocksbedsidemanner and I came up with some great headcannons about the dark!Lu Ten verse, and I thought they were too good not to share. With her permission, below I have transcribed our conversation, because I am too lazy to rewrite it into a cohesive narrative. I'm E, and she is S.

E: I've got this headcannon that in Fire Nation culture children are seen as extensions of their parents. Parents get the praise of their children's accomplishments, and children pay the price of parent's mistakes.

S: Yes, yes, yes, I think that makes total sense for them, given their characterization they seem very about their legacy and lineage, esp Ozai w/ usurping the throne, and when he declares himself the phoenix king w/ Azula as just an extension of himself as firelord. He doesn't really think of her as her own person. Probs didn't think of Lu Ten as more than a solid claim for Iroh for the throne.

E: Exactly! When Lu Ten died, a piece of Iroh died, making him "weaker" and "less worthy."

S: Children of the royal family? Having their own drive and humanity separate of their parents' legacy? In MY Fire Nation? It's more likely than you think 👀

Yesss exactly, I think that's why the fire nation was so readily accepting of Ozai's story that Azulon toootally revoked Iroh's title and bestowed it on Ozai, before kicking the bucket. Definitely totally happened exactly like that, don't question it, it's not like he had a son or a wife for his legacy anymore, shhhh… Like, it can't all just be fear of Ozai right? It must have made sense to the people somehow.

E: Pretty much. The line must continue. Iroh lost his son and the siege. Ozai has two children. It makes just enough sense to quiet dissenters. I imagine there's a famous play in the Fire Nation about a man who commits treason and his entire family is killed, even his newborn baby. Zuko tells the GAang about the play to explain why Iroh won't have a choice but to kill him.

S: Oooh yes, that'd make sense too. It's just the logical next step, it's a natural consequence of his father's treason being brought to justice, of course his uncle must eliminate him if he finds him, it's how it has to be. He would feel bad for his sister i bet, even if she did shoot him with lightning in that 'what if' you posted Poor Zuko 💜💜

E: "Yeah. Once the war is over my uncle will have to execute me publicly. It's tradition." *Shrug.* "Who wants tea?"

S: Omg lol. Yep. So straightforward.

Well, since it's inevitable, why spend unnecessary time struggling with it? Let's go train, he needs to give the Avatar as much time training in firebending as he can before they go defeat Ozai and his own execution afterwards. It was nice spending as much time as he gets with them in their group 💛

E: Katara: Thank you fellow members of Operation: Save Zuko From His Horrible Family. Today we'll be going over a few options.

Sokka: Option one, take him to the South Pole and keep him forever.

Toph: Option two, take him to the Earth Kingdom where it isn't so COLD and keep him forever.

Aang: Option three, keep him on Appa forever.

Katara: We have many good options.

S: What excellent options i am sure kidnapping Zuko to protect him will go entirely smoothly and have zero mishaps. I'm personally voting for Appa, the Goodest Boy. If he just lives on Appa forever he can get closer to the SUN which is a thing that he needs, isn't that wonderful?

E: Literally that's Aang's argument to him.

"But honor demands I be executed!"

"Fuck. Your. Honor."

"Did Aang just... curse?"

S: Aaaaaaaa yesssss!! I feel for the gaang, it'd take a lot to get him to not feel that he MUST be executed for justice to be served, he's so ready to blame himself as a failure already bc of Ozai's abuse >_<

E: Now I'm imagining them actually smuggling him to the South Pole after the battle before Iroh can arrive to apologize to/reassure him. Maybe they tell Iroh he died to keep him safe. Zuko goes hunting with Sokka, bending practice with Katara, penguin sledding with Aang. It's so fun and wholesome. Eventually the truth gets out and Iroh feels SO MUCH relief & guilt. He wonders whether it's better for Zuko to go find him and apologize or let him go so he can feel safe. 😭😭

S: Yes! They have no way of knowing that Iroh would never hurt Zuko, just Zuko's word on how things are in the Fire Nation, so it's just safer to somehow get information to Iroh that Zuko died in the battle. Wholesome found family hijinks ensue 💜💜

Either way once Iroh finds out i bet he would want to see him, if only from a distance, just to see him alive and happy playing in the snow with his friends! Could be the catalyst for some progressive new policies, and protections put in place to protect the lives of children and families of criminals. Never let there be a kid like Zuko again, thinking that they have to die bc of their terrible dad.

E: 🥺🥺 Now I'm imagining Iroh standing on top of a snow hill, just watching the village. Zuko is sitting with Katara and Sokka's family (Gran-Gran forgave him immediately) eating some octocaribou he helped kill. Aang is munching on the vegetarian sides while telling a story that's making Zuko laugh. His cheeks are rosy and full. He looks so comfortable and at peace.

Iroh remembers how tense Zuko was in Ba Sing Se, how his shoulders were always hunched up to his ears. Iroh's eyes fill with tears. His guilt chokes him.

He goes home and immediately starts drafting new laws. He also commissions a talented playwright to create a new version of that stupid play that pushes the moral of mercy and kindness.

S: YES 💜💜💜 *cries*

Aang being the Avatar, i bet they'd have to see each other at some official world peace functions or whatever at some point. Iroh doesn't want to outright say anything in case Zuko hears of it and feels obligated to come back if he doesn't actually want to (if he could ever forgive Iroh...), but he makes some comment to Aang about ~if~ Zuko were still alive, he would wish to tell him how much he loves him and wanted him to be happy, however that happiness would look for him, with Iroh in it or without…

E: *Gif of the tenth Doctor getting all melodramatic about radiation poisoning captioned as "I'm in a glass case of emotion!"* Iroh is in the Earth Kingdom for FL business when he's invited to dine with the prestigious Beifong family. While there he talks to Toph about his nephew. He gives a passionate speech about what a good person Zuko was, how honorable, how kind, ect… He talks about the new laws he passed to protect kids like Zuko. He gets really emotional at one point and starts crying. He feels a hand on his shoulder and looks up to see Zuko. At first he can't believe Zuko is really there. Then he pulls him into a hug and starts sobbing. He begs for forgiveness. Zuko starts crying too. This isn't what he expected. He says he loves his uncle and never blamed him. They hug and cry while the GAang watches.

[turtle-paced]

A:tLA Re-Watch: Fine-Toothed Comb Edition

Let’s get this one out of the way.

Book 1, Chapter 11 - The Great Divide

(0:55) Previously, on Avatar, the world has changed since Aang was in that iceberg, party’s heading to the North Pole, Sozin’s Comet is due at the end of the summer, Aang and Katara are trying to learn what they can about waterbending en route. It’s an incredibly generic previously on.

I’m going to start off by saying that this is probably the weakest episode of A:tLA. Which is weird, because some of the ideas raised here should have fit right into the the series as a whole. But instead, this was slotted in as a breather episode between some of season one’s heaviest material, and engages with those ideas at breather episode level.

(2:08) Even if this is a lead-in to some pretty contrived conflict, it’s realistic enough sibling dynamic that today, everything Katara and Sokka do is pissing the other the hell off. No particular reason. It’s just one of those days.

(2:33) Aang, who does not appear to have had a sibling growing up, sticks his nose in and tells the Water Tribe siblings that getting angry won’t help, doing stuff will help.

(2:41) “Settling feuds and making peace - all in a day’s work for the Avatar.” And that is why this episode could be a lot better. The war is more than Ozai and the comet, so Aang’s got more work to do than just defeating Ozai. It’s worth bringing up this concept early. It’s a shame the episode doesn’t actually do more with it.

(2:48) Even Appa’s decided to be a jerk this episode, because reasons. ‘The Chase’ does this sort of thing, where everyone’s at each other’s throats because stress and sleep deprivation and too much having to interact with one another, so much better.

(3:02: We do have a little bit of equality vs equity here, as Aang slices the fruit to be shared between Appa and Momo, and gives Appa a much bigger piece. Momo is outraged that he gets the smaller bit, but Aang points out that Appa has five stomachs.

(3:08) Title drop. The Great Divide is a giant canyon, and not any sort of metaphor. Nope. I mean, if it was a metaphor, there’d have to be a little more substance to it, right?

(3:23) And there we have some real Sokka-vs-Katara tension. Katara wants to appreciate the natural beauty of a place (something that’s more in line with Aang’s views on travelling), Sokka wants to get moving towards their goal again. Bet he wouldn’t be so keen if he knew about rock strata.

(3:36) A bit of exposition here about the canyon guide. Actually a sensible occupation for an earthbender to have in a world where the road networks aren’t so great (or aren’t that usable due to Fire Nation occupation), helping people navigate treacherous canyons and mountain ranges. The guy who’s rocked up here is frantic precisely because of the occupation thing - his tribe needs to leave the area, now, and without attracting further Fire Nation attention. So even in a pretty mediocre episode, we’re still dealing with those constant themes of occupation and dispossession.

Also Sokka’s expression in the background here gives me life.

(3:49) Our new character here says that Ba Sing Se is thousands of miles away. I’m not going to take that literally. That way lies madness and calculating the airspeed velocity of unladen Appas.

(4:01) The Zhang tribe approaches, described as “a bunch of lowlife thieves”. The shots we get show that they’re dressed more roughly than the speaker. We’re going straight snobs vs slobs here. 

(4:13) We get a name for the speaker’s tribe: the Gan Jin. Also, without making any sort of big deal about it, the Zhang tribe are led by a woman. I’d also note that the Zhangs don’t appear to be wearing common Earth Kingdom styles. It’s more explicit once we meet the swampbenders, but there are definitely different cultural groups within the Earth Kingdom. Try to focus on that rather than the pretty tedious and shallow arguments about tidiness.

(5:12) Similarly, the Zhang leader argues that they’re refugees too, with sick people who need shelter. This is a thing that will be explored in more depth later, in Zuko’s season two storyline in particular, but Earth Kingdom refugees are not a monolith, and many are keenly aware that resources are limited.

(5:40) Aang listens to an argument that’s been going on for a hundred years and doesn’t feel up to the task of resolving it. Interestingly, Katara fronts for Aang here, getting everyone to listen to Aang and look to him for a compromise position. Again, this is consistent at this point in the story. Katara’s assertive, but she doesn’t back her own judgment to find a compromise position and provide moral leadership herself, while Aang just doesn’t take charge unless prompted or if he feels he absolutely must.

(6:10) That said, when Aang hears both tribes say they’d rather deal with the Fire Nation than the other tribe, he snaps and does assert himself. Noticeably, he gets Appa to ferry the sick and elderly of both tribes across the canyon, something that makes his day a fair bit harder. He’s a good kid, is Aang. It’s also a reasonably graceful way of making Appa unavailable to solve the problem.

(6:31) Focused on priorities as always, Sokka asks if they want to get involved. Aang’s response is that he isn’t sure, but that’s nothing new. For her part, Katara reiterates that Aang’s the Avatar. With the reminder that making peace is Aang’s role. This episode should be better.

(6:50) And then we see how it isn’t. Back in contrived conflict territory, no food in the canyon because dangerous predators. What kind of dangerous predators? No idea. What exactly do they like to eat and why will they maul people for half a bowl of rice? Not explained. This is not like the Serpent’s Pass where we knew what the danger was (the Serpent) and why it was dangerous (territorial), so they had to cross very carefully. This, by contrast, is an excuse.

(8:32) The guide destroys a bridge he’d earlier created, since the group is being pursued by the Fire Nation. It doesn’t make the area inaccessible by a long shot, but part of this guide’s services would appear to be delaying pursuit.

(8:41) Right on cue we’ve also got the contrived conflict of the experienced guard being very conveniently takeen out by the local wildlife. This is serviceable, but there’s not much art or subtlety to this episode. Feels like a sledgehammer.

(9:29) The upshot is, halfway through the episode, everyone’s trapped in the canyon. Ho hum.

(10:02) “Sticking together is the only way,” Aang says.

(10:34) “We should split up,” Aang says. Again, this isn’t in response to changing conditions, just happening in order to force the points the episode wants to make. Splitting up also seems like a staggeringly bad idea in a canyon where you need a reliable guide.

(11:54) Huge shocker, nobody listened to the guide and everyone brought food. And yet the very dangerous canyon crawlers appeared once, attacked one of the four people present who had exactly zero food, and have not been seen for the rest of the day (because the constant threat of animal attacks now impedes the story).

(12:34) The Gan Jin tell their version of the start of the feud between them and the Zhangs. Solar calendar’s important to the Gan Jin too, it seems.

(13:25) And Katara, who just last episode may have learned a little something about trusting people unconditionally, swallows the story whole. Sorry, what?

(13:50) Now the Zhangs tell their side of the story.

(14:54) And Sokka, who is suspicious of just about everyone to the point he’d turn away a twelve-year-old from shelter in his world’s equivalent of the Antarctic, also swallows the story whole. Again, sorry, what?

(15:21) The guide observes to Aang that impartiality can be lonely. Again, not a bad idea to introduce this, especially in light of what we’re going to learn about Aang’s pre-series life next episode. But it’s just so heavyhanded by the standards of this series.

(16:10) That, and the way Katara and Sokka just uncritically present what they were told about the conflict, to the point it reignites conflict between the two of them, is also really clumsy by the standards of the series.

(16:48) Even after the reveal that the feud is essentially about whether one of the tribes’ founding figures interrupted a holy rite or whether another founding figure was unjustly imprisoned, the actual fighting comes back down to snobs vs slobs. This in a show that thus far has successfully shown a couple forms of genocide. They could do better and already had done better.

(17:31) Though as part of a series-long arc, I think it’s good that Aang struggles and fails hard to impose his will on a group of angry adults. There are good ideas here.

(18:31) “Is that egg custard in that tart?” asks Aang, so we know he’s not the sort of vegetarian who avoids eggs. Also, the canyon crawlers are attacking again.

(18:46) Katara and Sokka resolve their differences like siblings, i.e. by acknowledging that that sure was a stupid argument, let us never mention that again.

(19:44) This is still A:tLA, though, and so they still know how to make a fight scene convey a broader point, even if it is pretty transparent and shown to us through the PoV of the one character who didn’t need to learn this lesson. As Aang scans the canyon, he sees a lot of little groups fighting individual skirmishes against the canyon crawlers, ineffectually at best. Perhaps everyone should work together?

(20:15) Which is exactly what everyone does, driving off the swarm of vicious carnivores in a thoroughly g-rated fashion.

(21:18) The show does something good in not having the minor characters forget a hundred years of feuding because of two minutes of cooperation.

(21:39) So then Aang tells his version of the feud’s origins. Because he was around a hundred years ago. It is a deeply silly story which in all honesty someone should have called as complete bullshit right off the bat.

(23:34) Sure enough, Aang reveals his story to have been completely made up. So what does that say about the themes of the episode and of the series as a whole, hey? Aang will be reminded quite strongly at the end of the series, in exactly these words, that only justice can bring peace. Big chunks of Zuko’s storyline rest on this idea too. If Aang’s lied here, this feud is probably based on a legitimate grievance. Aang hasn’t even tried to address this.

Speaking of, what does this say about Aang’s character, then? I honestly think this is a very out of character moment. Aang isn’t driven and will avoid his own problems, especially if he can’t see a clear solution, but he is conscientious when immediately faced with other people’s problems. Lying here is a meaner, more self-serving moral laziness than we see chronic slacker Aang display elsewhere in the series.

And so whatever the episode might have had to say about the difficulties of making peace fall completely flat, thanks to a weak last-second twist that doesn’t really stand up to any sort of scrutiny, in-universe or out, on top of a very fake-seeming conflict.

Let’s just keep flying.

[sokkas-honour]

hii if ur taking requests can i get a zuko x reader where they get into an argument & they dont talk to each other for sometime but then they make up & its just angsty & super fluffy? also can it be when zuko's firelord? thank u!!

ofc you can! hopefully this works :) it’ll be a two parter

The ember island failures: part one - zuko x reader

summary : zuko and you had been growing slighty apart from all his duties as firelord. in order for him to catch a break as well as spend more time with you, you both planned a trip to ember island months ago but what happens when the avatar shows up stating he had a diplomatic trip with the firelord planned the same day you’re set to leave

wc : 1.8k

notes/warnings: i tried to make this as gender neutral as possible but didnt know how to switch out firelady to it being gender neutral so i apoligise. i use a curse word here and there but thats about it. stay tune for two though!!

part two

taglist (always open) : @draqondance @biqherosix

you woke up, excitement cursing through your veins as you immediately remembered what was happening today, you were heading to ember island with your boyfriend to finally have some time alone to relax, away from all of the problems in the world for just a few days. your excitement dimmed a bit as you realised zuko was long out of bed but it didn’t matter, you’d have him all to yourself later today.

you finished packing a couple of things, even taking the time to make zuko’s bag so that he didn’t have another responsibility on top of everything he already has to deal with. your excitement was still going strong as you gently put a couple of bathing suits into your bag. once you were done, you called a nearby servant that you adored to bring the bags to the airship.

your smile and happiness filled the nearby palace corridors, making nearby servants and guards chuckle as it had been a while since they’d seen anyone in the palace seem so carefree. you made your way to the kitchen and asked the cook if you could have a fruit tart and of course he gave it to you, you had always been so nice to him and his staff, constantly complimenting the food, they couldn’t wait for you to finally become firelady.

munching on a fruit tart, you made your way to the courtyard where zuko and you met each morning if he’d awoken long before you. you waited patiently while watching the baby turtle ducks splash around making you smile at how adorable they were. suddenly, you heard a voice that you recognised but it wasn’t the raspy one you loved but the chirpy voice of the young avatar.

“y/n! it’s so good to see you!” he exclaimed while walking towards you, turning your head to meet his gaze you grinned. it had been a couple of months since you’d seen your friends with whom you’d traveled the world with in order to defeat the old firelord. though his presence did confuse you.

“aang! it’s been so long!” you met him half way and embraced him in a hug, god it had been a while.

“it has, it really has. i’m sorry that i can’t talk for awhile, appa has become a bit impatient these days but hopefully we can catch up on him while we see how yu dao is going! speaking of that, any idea where zuko is?” he chirped. his words bright and cheery confused you, since when were you and zuko going to yu dao? you were both supposed to leave for a couples getaway to ember island, not a diplomatic trip to the ex colonies.

before you got to ask your friend about what the hell he was talking about, you saw the love of your life from over his shoulder.

“aang! it’s so great to see you!” his sweet, slightly raspy, voice beamed. his facial expressions all showed the sheer amount of happiness that the firelord felt to finally see a friend of his that he’d been away from for awhile. with greeting aang on his mind, zuko didn’t notice the look of confusion on his partner’s face.

the airbender turned around, his back now facing you, in order to embrace his close friend.

“there you are! how was the fire nation been since i last saw you two?” aang asked after they separated from their hug. he had directed the question to the both of you but you were still confused as to what was going on to even bother to answer the question but apparently your face didn’t express your current feeling as your usually attentive boyfriend hadn’t looked at you in any way other than just happiness. he even made his way next to you, placed an arm around your waist and gently kissed your forehead as a way to say good morning.

“it’s been worse that’s for sure.” he joked nervously, not wanting the avatar to be worried. both boys turned to you for your answer but were met with silence until you realised they were waiting for you to speak.

“yeah, it has.” you absentmindedly said but quickly composed yourself as to not alert the benders near you. you added on to your response in a more cheery and reading manner. “firelord business has been stealing this boy from me.”

all three of you nervously laughed.

“we should probably start heading out, appa’s been a bit impatient these last couple of days so i don’t want to keep him waiting for too long.” aang was the first to speak, urging the couple to bring their stuff into the flying bison.

“i’ve already told a guard to bring my bags to the barn, i just need to double check something with a general and i’ll meet you out there.” zuko informed him and removed his hand from your waist. he turned around but before he could even make a step, you grabbed his wrist to stop and interrogate him.

“when did you plan this trip to yu dao?” you asked rather harshly as his head turned to face you in order to hear what you wanted to say.

“aang wrote to me about two weeks ago in order to check on how they’re doing ever since they’ve been left to do their own thing. didn’t i tell you about this the other day.” he turned his body around completely to face you.

“no, you haven’t told me anything zuko. we haven’t had more than ten minutes to each other in so long!” you exclaimed and his eyebrows furrowed in confusion, he was so sure he’d told you about it.

“i’m sorry then, i genuinely thought it’d told you. now, if you don’t mind i’m gonna go to general ikoso to make sure that he’s got everything under control. then i’ll come back to say goodbye okay?” he reasoned with you, eyes darting to your grip on his wrist, trying to make you get the hint to just move on and let him do his job.

“don’t you even remember what today was supposed to be? or are you stupid enough to forget about it?” you asked accusingly, removing your grip rather aggressively.

“hey guys, i’m just gonna go wait by appa. y/n, it was to see you, zuko, i’ll see you by appa.” the airbender awkwardly said trying to get out of the area, not wanting to see any sort of fight between his friends. you felt a bit guilty about bringing this up while aang was around but you couldn’t bother to wait.

“that’s fine aang, youre good.” you turned your head briefly to give him a small smile before he rushed out awkwardly and turned back to your boyfriend.

“no y/n, last time i checked it wasn’t our anniversary, it isn’t your birthday or mine. believe me, i would never forget those even when i’m swamped with work.” zuko smiled warmly reassuring you which just made you even madder.

“you’re right, you didn’t because i would be even more pissed at you.” you calmed down a little making him chuckle a bit at your statement. you continued.

“you forgot about the fact that we’ve been planning a trip to ember island for months!” your anger and annoyance came back, completely ditching the softer tone you’d taken just a second ago.

you watched as his face went from a simple smile to confusion, to realisation to then regret and embarrassment.

“shit, i completely forgot we even planned that, it’s fine we can reschedule.” he asked for forgiveness while attempting to reason with you, if only he knew that it only pissed you off.

“no we can’t zuko! i’ve been prepping for this for months! it was a time for us to finally see each other because you’re never around! i understand you have duties as a firelord, believe me, i agreed to deal with all of this when i followed you to the fire palace after ozai. but you also agreed to make time for me! and guess what? you’ve completely neglected me for the last couple of weeks!” you vented, your voice getting louder and louder as you continued.

“y/n-”

“no! listen to me! not only have you been neglecting me but you have also been neglecting yourself! you wake up before me and go to bed after me, so not only do i not see you, you’re barely getting any sleep zuko! you’re tiring yourself out, i can see it, aang probably saw it, hell everyone who works in this stupid palace can see it! you’re gonna hurt yourself and you keep denying to open up to me or even just relax!” you interrupted him, not wanting him to interrupt you before you finished. your tone switched from accusing to just pleading after you took a breath. “you promised me this trip! you promised yourself this trip! two weeks, that’s all i’m asking for zuko! everyone in this damn place was ready to take over while we enjoyed time together, something we haven’t experienced in months. please zuko, i’m sure aang would understand.”

his eyes had averted from your gaze a while ago and was just staring at the ground, trying to figure out what to say to his partner that as he personally believed was in the right but he just couldn’t take a break now. him cancelling a diplomatic mission could come to hurt him later but he knew that aang could deal with it.

you stared at him while his gears were turning, your right hand had suddenly placed itself on his upper left arm to add to the fact that you were pleading him to understand your point of view.

he lifted his head and stepped back, making you drop your hand to your side and search for his gaze to try and anticipate what he was going to say.

“seeing how yu dao is going is more important than a stupid little trip y/n.” he harshly stated, his usually warm gaze turned rather cold which took you aback. you swallowed literally and figuratively the information, taking in your boyfriend neglecting the trip that had planned months ago, his mental and physical health, and your relationship together.

“well zuko, if you feel that way, i guess i’ll see you in two weeks. believe me, my trip wouldn’t have been any different than my every day life.” you replied, your tone matching his before sharply turning on your heals and left towards the docking area before he could even reply.

zuko watched you leave, realisation washing over him at his words as you were out of his eyesight.

“damnit, how stupid could i be?” zuko cursed under is breath, head leaning slightly on his arms. he took a deep breath and made his way to the stables where he assumed appa was with his head down in shame. he just hopped that when you saw each other again everything would be forgotten.

[okayoonoh]

clumsy joy

“This clumsy little joy that giggles oh so brightly in his arms makes everything that pains him worth it.”

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- PAIRING: johnny seo x reader - GENRE: cute, tooth rotting, family fluff - RATING: E for everyone - WORD COUNT: 3,284 - WARNINGS: other than the possible heart attacks of imagining johnny seo as a dad? no warnings whatsoever

a/n : i wanted to take a quick break from writing the descriptions of the kids because i’ve been writing so many descriptions, i need to take a sec to keep things original lol 

also! here’s the masterlist to all things nct dad related! i hope you guys like this little scenario :)

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Deep breath in, deep breath out.

Johnny thanks the staff that helped him get all the way upstairs with all of his stuff.

He just finished a tour with his group, equally rewarding, equally hectic. Don’t get him wrong, Johnny loves his group: his fans, his music, his members, but sometimes, the hectic life of an idol is too much for him. Sometimes, NCT’S Johnny just wants to be Johnny Seo: husband and father of three beautiful children. 

He takes out his keys, a smile on his face. He’s excited; after 3 months of only seeing you, his lovely wife, and his adorable little children through a screen, he’s excited to finally see them in person.

He steps inside, completely ready to hear the natural noisiness of his family, but a beat of silence rushes over him instead. He checks his phone, 2:30 PM. 

Oh, Noah and Leo are still at school.

Only a couple lights throughout the house were lit, the gentle buzz of the A/C hums in the background. He walks towards the living room, about to call out your name to see if you’re home. He stops right before he does though, glad he stopped when he did. His heart flutters at the sight he sees in the messy living room: you asleep on the couch with your daughter sleeping on your chest. Her fist is clenched near her mouth, drool leaking out of her mouth onto your shirt. Her long lashes rest against her cheeks, her nose, which resembles your own, sings a sweet whistle displaying the life within her lungs, her chubby cheeks squished up against your chest, moving up in down in a calm pattern. Your hand rested on her back, reassuring your daughter that you were there. 

Everything about this moment in time is perfect in Johnny’s eyes.

He takes out his phone from his back pocket, snapping a quick picture of his two girls. He leans over, kisses your temple, kisses his daughter’s head, then heads off to your room to unpack. Of course he wanted nothing more than to spend quality time with his two girls, but he also knew that waking the two of you mid-nap is basically a death sentence. 

Besides, he has two boys who’ll be home in less than an hour. Johnny waited for 3 months to see his family, he doesn’t mind waiting another hour.

---

“Mom! I’m home! Kaleb is here, too!”

You jolt awake to the sound of your oldest son, Noah, opening the door. You feel the little sleepy Luna on your chest begin to stir, but you shush her and lull her back to sleep. You yawn as you gently move her to the little tent sitting on the side of the living room that Johnny set up for the kids, pulling her favorite blanket over her as she remains asleep.

You walk over to your son and his best friend, greeting the both of them. “Hey you two! How was school?”

Noah and Kaleb both give you a hug, “It was fine. We played soccer today and they put Kaleb and I on separate teams.”

“I won, Auntie!” Kaleb beams with pride, a wide smile on his face. You smooth over his long hair, smiling down at the happy kid.

“Good job, Kaleb! I’m sure your dad is going to be very proud of you!” Kaleb giggles at your praise while Noah rolls his eyes on the side.

“You totally cheated though!” Noah crosses his arms. 

“Are we seriously still on this?”

“Yes! Last time I checked, when the ball goes out of the line, it’s out.”

“It didn’t even go out of the line though!”

You chuckle under your breath with how far this little argument is escalating. Kaleb and Noah’s dynamic is just like their fathers, even down to the smallest details. 

You lower your voice to a whisper, acknowledging the sleeping toddler in the side of the living room. “Alright alright, you boys can settle it on another game of soccer later, but right now, you have to be very quiet. Luna is still asleep, okay?”

Noah and Kaleb nod at your request, immediately lowering their volume as they still argue about who truly won. Both boys decide to let bygones be bygones, knowing that their science project is way more important than this argument. 

“Kaleb and I need to finish up our science project. Is it okay if we move to the kitchen after we prepare everything?” Noah asks. 

You nod, “Just as long as you guys clean up when you’re done. I’ll go ahead and make you guys some snacks for now.”

Noah then whispers to you, “Okay! Thanks, momma. Oh, by the way, is appa home? I thought I saw his shoes…”

“I’m not sure, is appa home?” a voice whispers from behind you.

Noah, Kaleb, and you all turn around to the source of that voice. Johnny stands behind you, a wide grin on his face. Your heart jumps as you return that smile, hugging the tall man. Noah then runs, hugging his father. You are a little confused: last time you talked with your husband, he said that his flight won’t land until late at night. The fact that he’s standing in front of you is genuinely a serendipitous surprise.

“I thought you weren’t coming home until--”

“--My flight left earlier than expected. I got here like an hour ago.” He replies, his wide smile still plastered on his face.

“An hour ago?” You gape, “I’ve been home since then… I’m so sorry, how did I not notice you?”

“You and Luna were both out. Don’t worry about it; it was one of the cutest things I’ve ever seen.”

You all break away from the hug, then Johnny squats down to his son's height. Noah smiles at his dad as Johnny holds his face in his hands, giving him a big kiss on the top of his head. 

“You’ve grown so much, Noah!”

Noah giggles at his dad, wrapping his arms around his neck, giving him another hug.

Kaleb then walks over, greeting the tall man, “Hello Uncle!”

Johnny gives him a hug as well, “Hey Kaleb! How are you doing?”

“I’m doing well,” he replies, “My dad is having a little bit of a hard time with Shawn and Aria, but with mom’s help, he’s just fine.”

“I bet. Do you like being an older brother?”

Kaleb doesn’t miss a beat, “I like being able to tell Shawn what to do. Aria is still too little and she doesn’t understand me. But Shawn listens.”

You and Johnny laugh at his response. Kaleb is definitely Ten’s son. The two boys then excuse themselves and head over to Noah’s room.

You head off towards the kitchen, making the snacks you promised as Johnny crawls into the tent his sleepy daughter rests in. She starts to get a little fussy in her sleep, Johnny shushes her gently and smooths over her growing hair. He then finds a pacifier resting on the table right outside of the tent, putting it inside of her mouth. She falls asleep peacefully again. Johnny could watch his daughter for hours and he would, but then again, he is a bit peckish and his loving wife is in the kitchen. He stands up and with long strides he easily reaches you while you work, chopping away on some carrots.

He digs his head into your shoulder, placing a heavy kiss on your cheek. “I’ve missed you.” 

You gently place the knife down and smooth your hands over his arms, relaxing into his embrace. “I’ve missed you, too.”

“Europe was fun, but almost everything I saw reminded me of you and the kids… speaking of, where’s Leo? I thought he was coming home with Noah?”

You turn around in his arms, looping your arms around his neck, “Leo went on a playdate with Jaeseok and Jaehun. I was going to go and pick him up later, but since you’re home now, do you want to?”

“That’s no problem.” He smiles. “I see that Leo has taken up acting now?”

“He spent one afternoon with the twins and they watched their Uncle Renjun in his drama once and now they want to dedicate their lives to it. I’ve been looking into some auditions for some commercials for him and he seems pretty excited for all of it.” You look up as you list all ideas you’ve been thinking of to help out your second son. Johnny gives you a smile filled with pride.

“Really?” he exclaims, “That’s so exciting!”

You nod, now digging your head in his chest. You missed this, feeling safe and secure in the arms of your husband. He presses a long kiss the top of your head, taking in a deep breath. 

“What time does he need to be picked up?” He says, breaking the silence.

“Around 5:30. He’ll definitely be excited to see his dad.” you squeeze him one last time then he lets go, you go back to finish snacks you promised for your boys. 

Johnny’s ears perk at the sound of Noah and Kaleb leaving Noah’s room, arguing again about Kaleb’s win as they head to the table, laying out all of their equipment to work on their science project together. He takes a step back to look at this one point in his life. He’s happy.

---

“Dad… dad, wake up, this is the best part!”

Johnny takes in a quick breath, feeling a tiny but mighty shake on his left arm. He wakes up from his 2-minute micro nap, attempting to take in what he’s missed. Leo sits on his left, Luna gnawing on a cracker to his right, Noah and Kaleb sit at the dining table working diligently together and you’re in the kitchen getting dinner ready. Leo watches the screen with intensity, seemingly trying to take in every subtle detail in the acting on screen. Luna watches too, but she definitely takes more interest in her cracker than the handsome man on the screen.

Johnny rests his hand on his son’s head, “Do you want to be an actor when you grown up?”

Leo looks up at his dad, his big eyes full of excitement. “Yes! Jaeseok and Jaehun want to join me too! They said that we'll be the best in the world! That’s why I want to study up, I don’t want to miss anything the professionals say!”

“Well, the best way to learn acting is to watch it,” Johnny smiles, “I also need to study up to improve my acting too, I’ll study with you!”

Leo returns his father’s smile with one almost identical to Johnny’s own, excited to have his father’s support in this. 

Luna looks at her big brother and her father, chewing the last bits of her cracker. She then huffs, she wants to be on the ground so she can work on her newfound ability of crawling and standing up on her own. She cooes and raises her arms, which catches Johnny’s attention. He then picks up his little one, placing her on his lap. She huffs again; this isn’t what she meant. She wants down, not up. Luna attempts to wiggle out of his grasp, frustrated that she can’t vocalize what she wants. 

“Oh, you want down?” Johnny asks his youngest. Yes, appa. She wants down. He then helps her to the ground, keeping an eye on her to make sure this is what she really wanted.

Her fussing ceased as she crawled around on the padded floor, heading straight towards the tent to grab her favorite toy. Johnny and Leo both bring their attention back to the drama, letting Luna play on her own for a little bit. 

Luna enjoys each and every single one of her toys, from her brother’s old trucks and dinosaurs to her very own plushies. She decides to occupy herself with her current favorite toy: her red soft chewing circle. Almost all of her teeth have grown in, but her insatiable hunger constantly needs her to at least chew on something. She grabbed the toy and crawled her way back in front of the TV, now gnawing on the red circle rather than her cracker. This will have to do for now.

She looks up at the people trapped behind the screen. She can’t really understand what they are saying and she doesn’t understand why they are not dancing in colorful costumes. As quickly as she gained interest in this drama, she lost it. Luna decides that now is as best time as ever to practice her newfound skills.

She drops her toy. It’s now or never. She leans forward until her palms hit the ground, she huffs again, putting all of her might in this motion.

She adjusts, planting her sock clad feet on the padded surface and takes a final mighty push up, taking her stand. It’s a little wobbly, but she did it, she’s up on two legs. She stands for a mere beat more, but then the strength of her legs can no longer hold her up as she falls on her diaper covered bum. She giggles, enjoying her small accomplishment.

No one notices Luna do her thing; Johnny and Leo focus the drama, Kaleb and Noah work on their project, you working hard to make sure the house doesn’t burn down. Luna doesn’t mind, she knows that everyone in this house already witnessed her do this before. It’s the next stage that she wants her family to acknowledge.

She’s happy, but not satisfied. She knows she can do more. Luna wants to take her skill a step further. She readies herself, preparing everything so she can successfully stand up.

Step one: standing. Complete.

She balances with determination; she can’t fall. It takes too much energy to fall and reset, she must keep pushing with elegance and poise. 

She then moves her right foot, stomping in the motion she watches everyone in her life move with. Okay, that wasn’t so bad. She does it again, but she slips, her balance gone.

This fall was louder than the previous, catching the attention of her father.

“Oh no, Luna,” Johnny coos, “Are you okay?”

“Oh, don’t worry dad. Luna likes to stand up on her own and fall on her butt. It’s her new favorite game.” Leo informs his father, his eyes never leaving the screen. Johnny nods, then turns his attention back to the drama.

She’s fine. She’s okay. Sympathy is not what Luna needs right now. What she needs right now is a break, so she can gather up her strength and go again.

Okay. It’s go time. This is the one. Luna will take her first steps tonight.

She repeats the process and stands mighty and tall, this time easier than the other times. She stomps her right foot; easy peasy. She presses her weight on her right, balancing herself out.

“Hey, I’m gonna grab my water, I left it in your room,” Kaleb says, standing from his seat. Noah nods, too invested in coloring the water droplets for their water cycle project.

Kaleb begins walking towards Noah’s room, passing by the living room where Leo and Johnny watch their drama. The TV grabs his attention first, but a small, wobbly thing moves in his peripherals, causing him to look towards the foreign thing in his vision. He sees Luna on the ground, wobbling back and forth, but on two legs?

He looks at Johnny and Leo on the couch, trying to see if they notice this two but both of their attention is on the screen, captivated by the actor’s performance. 

Is this Luna taking her first steps? Surely Noah would have told Kaleb about this milestone, but Kaleb can’t recall Noah even mentioning anything like this. He watches Luna again, seeing her lean too far to the left. He rushes over to her, catching her before she falls. He squats behind the toddler, his hands hovering on her sides just in case she loses her balance again.

“Uh… Uncle Johnny…” Kaleb starts, uncertain with this entire situation. Luna still marches on, or at least, tries to. “I think Luna is taking her first steps.”

Everyone’s attention is now on Kaleb and Luna, Kaleb steadying Luna again as she starts to lose balance, this time, to the right side. Her arms grab onto his hands as she steadies herself, determination fills her features. She is sure as heck not giving up, but she’s glad she has assistance now.

Johnny audibly gasps and rushes over to Luna and Kaleb, stepping a little further from Luna, expanding his arms.

“Babe! Come here! Luna’s walking!” He exclaims to you, excitement prevalent in his voice. “Come here Luna, walk towards appa!”

Luna giggles. Yes! Of course! This is the exact determination she needs! Her arms spread wide as she waddles towards the outstretched arms of her father. 

As realization hits, you quickly turn off the stove and run towards the living room, Noah trailing behind you. Leo and Noah stand to the sides of Luna, both helping Kaleb steady her. You kneel beside Johnny, clapping and cheering on your daughter.

“You can do it, Luna! Go to appa!” you cheer. Luna giggles again, stumbling to the side. Leo catches her and helps her steady herself.

“Don’t worry, Luna! We’ll catch you if you fall! Keep going, you can make it to appa!” Leo says to his baby sister. She grunts in agreement. This has to be the one. She knows that she’ll get there eventually. But, Luna lives in the fast lane. What she’s doing right now is far too slow for her. And frankly, Luna knows that she will waste all her energy if she continues it at this pace. She knows there’s only one thing left that she can do.

With all of her remaining strength, she sets out to do what she sees her brothers do every single day. She suddenly moves her feet in a faster motion, using every last ounce of her strength to land in the comforting arms of her father. The boys are caught off guard, being left behind by the determined toddler. They quickly catch up to her, their hands ready, again, to catch her if she falls.

She clumsily runs (more like stumbles) towards her dad and right before she falls, her father reaches over and scoops her up, standing up and tossing her in the air.

“You did it Luna! You took your first steps!!” he cheers, tossing and catching her. You and the boys clap and cheer on the side, all so happy to witness this milestone.

Cheers are yelled from everyone in the house, everyone so proud of the youngest member in this household. Everyone is jumping with joy, all eyes on Luna. She giggles. Luna knows that soon, she’ll be running alongside her brothers, now able to keep up with them. Johnny brings her down and gives her head a million kisses. His heart is so full with happiness and joy.

Moments like these are what Johnny lives for, what makes him work harder with every new comeback and performance, because he knows that at the end, he’ll come home to this, his true happiness. This clumsy little joy that giggles oh so brightly in his arms makes everything that pains him worth it. Every late night, sore muscle, lost voice, everything. 

His life may be loud and busy but he is sure as heck he wouldn’t trade it for anything. This clumsy joy that everyone in his life gives him is really what he pushes for.

He’s happy, he’s satisfied, and he can’t wait to see what comes next.

---

johnny would really be one of the sweetest dads :,)

i wanted to take a little break with the descriptions and have a scenario out there!

now since i have more kids described and stuff, i will start to write more scenarios! the second i have a complete group, i’ll write a scenario with that completed generation :)

oh and i’ll also make a list with all of the kids with their bdays (i honestly just chose random dates lol) and which generation they belong in as well as a chart with who their best friends are! 

last thing! requests are open! you can request anything and everything under the sun; it doesn’t have to be related to nct with their families (but i’m totally down to write more scenarios about this) and i’m don’t mind tagging people if you want to stay updated every time i add to this growing series!

i hope you guys liked it! let me know what you thought or if you wanna just come by and chat, i’d love to make new friends!

- amy <3

[dhwty-writes]

Zutara Week Day 4 - Celestial

Great, I fell behind... I’m sorry for the late contribution, but at least that means two stories today. Again, I advice you to check out the previous parts before reading, otherwise this won’t make a lot of sense. Have fun!

Read on AO3

"This has gotten out of hand," the Avatar chided and all Katara could do was try to stand tall and proud. "Katara, what in the names of all spirits?"

"I was just here to help," she defended herself. "Not once did I initiate the violence."

Aang sighed and leapt off Appa's saddle. "Where's the governor?"

"Technically that would be me." She hoped that she hadn't jumped too much upon hearing Zuko's voice next to her, his hand softly on her back to steady her. "But if you mean the man responsible for all of this, you better hurry to save him from Toph. She's having a field day."

"I will," Aang announced and brushed past them to get to Yozin.

"That was odd." Katara looked up to see Zuko frowning.

"What was odd?"

"Oh, I-" He glanced down and Katara could have sworn to see him blush. "Don't take me wrong, I just thought there would be a warmer reunion between you two." He looked away. "Not that it's any of my business."

She frowned. What on earth did he- oh. "Aang and I aren't a thing anymore," she stated matter-of-factly. "I haven't really seen him since."

He winced and took a hurried step back. "Oh. Um. Sorry. I didn't know."

She smiled and pat his cheek affectionately. "Go listen to the palace gossip a bit more. It's been public knowledge for a year now." She yawned and her shoulders slumped. "I guess I really should get some sleep."

"You can stay here!" he blurted.

Katara quirked an eyebrow.

The blush on his cheeks rose higher. "I mean, since the hospital got destroyed and all. I'm sure there's a room to be found where you can rest."

She smiled. "Thanks, Zuko. I'd appreciate that."

He smiled too and wandered off in search of one of his guards to show her to a room. Shortly after she collapsed on a rough futon and slept.

Katara slept for hours and when she woke, she found a plate of rice and a teapot beside her bed as well as a bowl of water. After the meagre meal and a quick waterbending bath she decided that she should better go and look at the havoc they had wreaked in the previous night, check on her rebels, treat the injured-

She was wandering through the abandoned corridors of the ship when she heard the yelling. 'Oh no,' she thought, sprinting in the direction of the noise. She wasn't feeling nearly well-rested enough to go through another battle and she doubted that Zuko was either.

She burst through the door onto the deck and dashed to the railing. But instead of attacking firebenders she only saw a pavilion where the old Team Avatar had sought shelter from the sweltering humid heat and Zuko and Aang seemed to be engaged in a ferocious argument. And while Sokka and Suki at least tried to calm them down, Toph stood idly by, apparently observing the clouds passing by.

Katara sighed. She wasn't sure if she hadn't preferred firebenders.

Calmly she walked over to them. "Hi everyone," she greeted them with a smile. "What did I miss?"

Aang scowled and crossed his arms, looking more like the twelve-year-old she had once broken out of an iceberg than a twenty-two-year-old avatar. Zuko huffed angrily and also looked to the side. He looked terrible, she noted and privately asked herself if he had slept at all. But that was a concern for another time.

"Sokka?" she prompted.

Her brother just shrugged and crossed the arms.

Before Katara could huff in frustration Toph answered: "Sparky and Twinkletoes are having an argument about whose responsibility this whole thing is. It's stupid."

"It's childish," Suki added.

"It's beside the point," Katara decided.

"Oh, sure, take his side," Aang muttered and it felt like the temperature dropped a few degrees.

Katara had to close her eyes and take a deep breath before continuing. "I am not taking any sides, Aang, I didn't even know what sides there were. But I've been here for three months, I think I know more about this conflict than most people."

"She's got a point," Sokka muttered.

Aang scrunched his nose. "Alright. So, let's hear the story."

She nodded and started telling the same story she had related to Zuko already. Well, mostly. It was a lot more matter-of-factly and less emotional. She didn't even know why she had felt the need to tell Zuko the other story. She didn't even know why she couldn't tell the others the true story. But when she was finished Aang and Zuko had both seemed to have sufficiently calmed down.

"And tonight?" Aang asked. "What happened?"

She frowned. "I'm not even sure. Ask those who have attacked us."

"Katara..." he pleaded.

She rolled her eyes and continued with her report: "It was just past midnight when I heard some unrest in the street. I sent two of the people staying at the hospital-"

"The rebels?"

She gritted her teeth. "The rebels. Anyways, I sent two of them to see what was going on. They returned half an hour later with burns all over their bodies. They had encountered about six guards in the streets, harassing the people in their houses. Ten more set out, I guess they got caught in fights somewhere along the line. I stayed back healing the injured and was just minding my own damn business and then they started attacking the hospital. I went out, stood my ground, Zuko showed up an hour or so later. I guess you all know the rest of the story."

Aang said: "Governor Yozin-"

"Yozin," Zuko interrupted him, "he's no governor anymore."

"Yozin," Aang admitted, "said that some of your rebels were causing unrest. Ignoring the curfew. Attacking the guards."

She quirked an eyebrow. "And you believe that."

"I am obligated to listen to all sides of the conflict."

"Aang, I can't believe you're this gullible! You know the drill; they will say anything they can to make us look like the bad guys."

"I know, Katara, and I also know that that's a two-way street."

"Even if that was true," Zuko chimed in, "Yozin had no right to command the guards. I had stripped him of his offices already. Besides that, he tried to declare he was ready to kill me this morning. He committed high treason."

"You asked me to come here, Zuko. So, I am here, let me do this my way."

"I asked you to come here when I thought this was a petty squabble. Things have changed. This is a Fire Lord problem now, not an Avatar problem."

He snorted. "No, I think this is exactly an Avatar problem! This has gotten out of hand."

"I know, Aang! But there's nothing you can do here. There's no conflict you can resolve because the only possible resolve is removing the cause. There's no gap you can bridge because that gap is far too wide. There's nothing the Avatar can do because what's needed here are politics. And that is a Fire Lord problem."

"Maybe we should try talking to Yozin-"

"Aang, I really don't want to overstep," Sokka said with a sigh, "but I think we're way past that point."

"Well, then why didn't you call me weeks ago, why didn't you-"

"I tried," Zuko said the same time Katara answered: "You know why."

All the eyes shifted to her and Katara looked away. "I'm sorry. I should probably go and see to the wounded." Before anyone could say anything, she bolted.

She found Ni in the town square that bore the evidence of her rampage last night and nearly winced. All that she had built up in the last weeks and months was destroyed and then she wasn't even there to clean up the mess.

Instead Ni had stepped in, relentlessly ordering the poor townspeople around that looked just as exhausted as Katara felt.

"I don't know why you even needed my help," she said in a poor attempt at a joke.

"Katara!" Ni exclaimed and her face lit up as she ran over to hug her. "I was so worried."

"Don't be," she tried to calm her down. "I don't go down that easily."

She smiled. "I didn't expect you to."

Katara tried to smile, too, but it came out as a grimace more likely than not. "How can I help? Any wounded?"

The woman gave her a critical once over. "I think you'd help best if you got some rest. You won't be much help if you're about to keel over."

"I'm fine," she insisted. "Everything's fine now. The Avatar's here after all. And I'd like to take my mind off things."

Her face hardened as she took the hint. "Right. And I guess that went just swimmingly." Katara looked away in an answer. Ni sighed. "Didn't think so. The injured are just two streets in that direction, the only house left standing. Your little earthbender friend didn't take kindly to firebenders hiding in the others."

She nodded and went on her way.

"But don't think I won't be keeping a close eye on you!" Ni called after her, finally drawing a tentative smile from her.

Healing was just what Katara needed now. It was tiring and trying with the hot sunrays boiling her flowing power until nothing was left but fickle steam. Oh, how she hated the days in the Fire Nation where she could barely feel the pull of the moon. But that way she had no other choice than to focus completely on the task before her. That way at least she didn't have to think of Aang and the unpleasant break-up a little over a year ago.

Ni came around when the gruelling heat of the sun just started to let up and brought food and tea Katara took thanking and ate quickly. Some of her rebels had nasty burns that not even Yugoda could heal. Still, she was glad that she had returned to the healing hut and the old master after the war. As much as she loved fighting, loved the feeling of her blood simmering and boiling with the thrill of the battle, the icy fear when a hit was just a bit to close, the war wasn't in need for warriors now. It was, however, in desperate need of healers. And she would never turn her back on people who needed her.

She just turned around a corner to get some bandages for one of the guards to wrap up his frost bites and of course - of course - that was the moment when Aang showed up.

"You should rest," he said.

"You don't have to tell me what to do," she replied stubbornly.

Aang sighed. "Please, Katara. You fought an entire night, slept half a day and spent hours now healing people. You're overexerting yourself."

"I am more than capable than knowing my limits, thank you very much."

"Katara, please," there was an agonised look on his face. "I just want to talk. Please."

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. It was alright. She could be an adult about it. She could handle this conversation. They were bound to have it at some time, after all. "Okay," she said.

"Okay?" he repeated.

"Let's talk." She fixed her with his gaze. "But not here."

"Anywhere's fine by me." He sounded relieved.

She jerked her head towards the door and they stepped outside, where the heat still made the air flicker.

"So," she asked.

It took a while before he answered. "Katara, that was really reckless."

She didn't have to ask what he meant. "I know, you don't have to tell me." He could be talking about anything - coming here, staying, stepping in, stepping up. She knew that he didn't approve.

"Then why did you do it?"

"Because I was selfish, alright Aang? I was selfish and I wanted to prove that I could do something like this on my own. I have done it on my own in the past. I never meant for it to get out of hand."

"I know. I know that you couldn't have left for your life. And I'm sorry, too. For lashing out at Zuko and you, that wasn't right."

"Hm," she said.

"I'm also sorry for how things ended. I get it now. It's better if we're friends. The world needs us as friends. And I do, too. I'd like to be friends with you again, Katara."

She looked up at him smiling. "I'd like to be friends with you again, too, Aang." Then she pulled him into a tight hug.

When she let go, she felt like she had just shucked the weight of Appa off her shoulders. "So," she said and bumped into his side. "How's life?"

"Oh, you know. Calmed a spirit down in the Earth Kingdom. Opened an orphanage in the Southern Air Temple. Rode the unagi."

"Again, Aang? Why on earth would you do that?"

"I lasted almost five minutes this time! That's-"

"Two less than last time?" She shot him a grin and he pouted. Then they both laughed.

They started walking together, swapping stories watching the sun make its way across the sky until it set and it felt like they were really friends again.

"Right," Aang said as they reached the harbour. "I'll be staying with Appa. Good night, Katara."

"Good night, Aang," she answered and stood slightly lost on the quay.

"You're back late," Zuko's voice cut through the humid air of a Fire Nation night from where he stood at the railing of his ship. She hadn't even seen him standing there.

She crossed her arms and quirked and eyebrow. "Well, you're up late."

"Couldn't sleep," he answered as she drew closer. "Too much on my mind."

"Hm," she agreed quietly and stepped on the ship. "Have you slept at all?" she asked leaning on the railing beside him.

"A bit," he deflected her question. "How'd it go with Aang?"

"Alright, I guess. It seems like we're friends again."

"Is that- is that what you want?" he asked tentatively.

Katara sighed and looked up at the stars. "I don't know," she admitted. "I think it was good to get some distance. Maybe we needed that to get to know each other again. Sometimes that's just how it goes."

Out of the corner of her eye she saw him avert his gaze. "I guess so," he murmured and she wasn't even sure if she was meant to hear it.

"That's not what I meant," she answered regardless, "that's not- That between us- these four years-" She scrunched her nose, not really sure where she was even getting at. "I guess what I'm really trying to say is that I regret it. And that I'm sorry."

"There's nothing you have to be sorry for," he said quietly and when she turned to look at him there was a hesitant smile dancing around his lips.

"I still am. We lost four years of our... relationship." She closed her eyes, just relishing in his presence. "And... I missed you. I really did." Then she leaned against his side, placing her head on his shoulder.

He hummed lowly. "I missed you, too," he whispered against her hair.

They stood silently like this for a while until Katara moved. "What now?" she asked.

"I brought something to drink," he answered. "If you want."

"Oh, keep talking," she joked.

He didn't. Keep talking, that was. Instead he turned and slid down the railing, laying his cloak out and patting the space beside him in invitation. Katara took the offered seat and the offered bottle and took a deep gulp.

"Did I ever tell you how much I hate your summers?" she asked and bent a trickle of sweat from her brow.

"You haven't." He quirked an eyebrow. "You're welcome to go back to your frozen wasteland any time you like."

She scrunched her nose. "Maybe I will. At least there the stars are right."

He hummed. "I remember. When I first started travelling, I was very confused. No-one had ever told me that the constellations changed."

She snorted in surprise. "You were in the navy."

"Not really but that's beside the point. I wasn't trained for the navy. The first year or so was a living hell while I tried to figure out how navigation worked."

That made her laugh and spit out half of the undoubtedly expensive alcohol they were drinking. "What I'd give to have seen that."

"As if you would've done any better," he grumbled.

"Excuse me? Of course I would have. We're sailors, for the spirits' sake. Our whole history is written in the stars."

"It is?"

She nodded.

"Tell me."

And so, she did. She told him of the polarbear-dog she had always seen at home that guarded the south and her cub that had wandered too far from its mother and got lost in the east. She took his hand to show him where it had left small footsteps in the sky. She told him of the boomerang that had shone brightly in the night sky when Sokka had been born and the penguin-seal and the whale and the sea-snake. She told him of the spirits dancing in the sky in the north and of Tui and La. Of balance and opposites and push and pull while they watched the moon travel across the sky - Yue, she told him, Sokka's first girlfriend who had sacrificed herself after the siege of the north.

"Wait-," he slurred, "he hadn't been joking? His first girlfriend really turned into the moon."

"Of course," she frowned. "How would you make something like that up?"

"You guys have been through some wild shit..."

She scoffed. "Tell me about it."

They were silent for a bit while Zuko drank again. "'S wrong, you know?"

"What is?"

"The moon's not with the sea. He's in love with the sun."

"No, that's not true," she protested. "I just told you. It's the moon and the sea, Tui and La-"

He groaned and covered his face with his hands. "No, don't you see? 'S the moon and the sun. Round and round and round they go, always chasing each other but never touching."

Her face fell. "That's sad."

"Yeah," he looked up at her, "it is."

Katara shrugged and drained the bottle.

"What now?" she asked again.

"Go to sleep? Morning'll come soon."

Her heart felt suddenly very heave. "And when morning comes?"

He shrugged, too. "I'll go back home. I've been away longer than I meant to. And longer than is advisable." He shook the empty bottle. "What about you? Off to the next revolution?"

"I think I've had my fair share of revolutions for some time." Katara sighed. "Still, there's so much to be done here."

"I know," he agreed. "But the fighting has died down. They have food and water. The healers are arriving tomorrow morning. Governor Yozin is on his way to a nice prison and I have appointed an interim governor until I find someone up for the task. Our work here is done."

"But it is not enough!" she protested.

"No, of course not. But the rest will be decided in stuffy council chambers not in dirty town squares."

"I don't want to leave them."

"And I'm not going to. Neither do you have to."

She turned to look at him and furrowed her brow. "What are you saying?"

He smiled sheepishly. "Come back to Caldera with me? Finish what you started?"

She hesitated. She probably shouldn't. She hadn't been home in quite some times and she didn't particularly care for the Fire Nation. Sokka would be taking off come sunrise headed to the South Pole. She could maybe get back to teaching for some time. Build a few houses. That would be fine. But she didn't want to.

Because even though she didn't particularly for the Fire Nation, she happened to care for the Fire Lord. Quite a lot, actually. Probably more than was good for either of them. And so, before she even knew what she was saying, she answered: "When do we leave?"

[comradekatara]

Pls tell me random things about the modern au

sure!

please keep in mind this is not chronologically-ordered because i am far too pomo for (scoff) linear narratives

(* = chell’s contributions)

suki drives a truck, and said truck is a legend

azula goes to harvard, despite her objectively terrible character (ohhhh shots fired!!!!) 

zuko doesn’t try very hard in school, because he knows that if he were to actually try, he would feel worse about azula being better than him (he’s not living under ozai’s roof––anymore––so it doesn’t matter) but it’s way too easy to trick her into taking naclo, which is where he shines. it drives her crazy that he won’t tell her his score. “you just wont tell me because you know i did better than you” “….maybe :)” “UGH ZUKO JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU GOT!!!!!!!!” 

the day before aang’s first day of high school, sokka gently tries to inform him that he is too old to be wearing heelies 

toph isn’t allowed on any sports teams due to her blindness, so she fights the administration every single day, and (physically) fights random people just for fun, and they so desperately want to punish her for it but she is a genius wunderkind pride & joy of their institution and they know that unless she gets really out of line, their hands are tied. but they still refuse to let her play sports 

“suki’s nervous because today’s the day of the Big Game,” sokka tells zuko. zuko can swear he said the same thing yesterday. and the day before that. and the day before that. it is always the day of the Big Game. when zuko asks katara about it she rolls her eyes and says, “don’t be stupid, the Big Game only happens once a year.” and so, the concept of sports continues to wear on his sanity 

azula’s all, “i swear to god, if sokka is valedictorian i will burn EVERYTHING to the GROUND” and zukos like “why do you even care youre not even in his class” (but it’s the PRINCIPLE of it, zuzu!!!!!!!) 

aang has a really big dog named appa, and a flying lemur named momo. no one questions this 

it is very apparent to everyone except for mai and zuko that mai and zuko are not happy together. mais not “in love” with “ty lee” what an idiotic thing to even suggest 

toph’s favorite joke is stumbling into nothing and then yelling “OW! watch where you’re going!” to which zuko sighs and says, “toph theres no one there” and tophs like “no i can swore i bumped into something” and zukos like “no. u didnt. u know u d––” “mustve been your closet, then. EYOOOOO” 

sokka refuses to admit to himself that the reason he “doesnt do” relationships is to keep himself from getting hurt (see: yue). katara not so gently reminds him that if he truly “didnt do” relationships, then why does suki practically live in her house. 

katara thinks clubs are stupid and school spirit is lame but then she finds out that their school doesn’t have a straight gay alliance so she starts one. no one joins except for toph, who just sits there in the corner and eats peanuts with a wide smile, staring straight ahead. 

in his senior year, aang finally gets to be the mascot the night of the Big Game. everyone comes back just to support him. zuko has not set foot in his hometown in at least three years, but he’ll be damned if he doesn’t support aang’s dreams. (plus he’s pretty sure katara would kill him if he didn’t.) once the Big Game starts (the first and only Big Game zuko ever attends), sokka notices zuko staring really intently at the field, and that he has been for about a half hour now. he’s like “whats….goin on??” and zuko mutters, “i’m trying to figure out what sport theyre playing.” sokkas just like “oh my god” 

suki and sokka miss their prom because they got too invested in their game of monopoly. toph humbly accepts their crowns in their place. the teachers are just like “wait who even let her in here isnt she a freshman” 

katara plays hockey. azula does track and kickboxing. they are both fierce, violent, and terrifying. both katara and azula tried to join suki’s roller derby team, but suki wisely rejected them both because they were, in her estimation, “not a good culture fit.” she told them the team was already full.*

zuko, suki and toph are in a band. their music is very lyrical and also very screamy (only suki and toph get to sing, natch). believe it or not, aang is their biggest fan. aang plays the triangle and the flute and the harp, which you might think would not exactly fit with their style, but they do invite him onstage for gigs sometimes and somehow the combination is excellent.*

katara is a mediocre student. zuko is great in his literature classes and his art classes and kind of tragic at everything else. nevertheless, they try to study together. mostly katara just comes over to zuko’s house and scuffs up his coffee tables and eats a lot of food out of the fridge. zuko considers this direct action against his terrible father, and he loves it*

azula is obsessed with sneakers. yeah that’s it that’s a whole bullet point*

suki’s truck is disgusting and made up of a seemingly boundless mess, but there are three recurring themes that are most apparent when you enter: weed, construction equipment for some weird building project she never tells anyone the details of, and other girls’ underwear*

katara thinks sokka is a narc for having gotten jet suspended. “he called in a BOMB THREAT, KATARA” 

sokka is the head of the science club. because he loves science. toph and suki are also in the science club. because they love watching (and listening to) things explode. 

everyone agrees that debate should be renamed “sokka and azula fight for 90 minutes.” azula spends a week drafting up a foolproof argument, manipulating the whole class into picking said topic, and then pretending its unrehearsed, and sokka spends no time in saying “nope. thats wrong.” on days where he chairs the debates, azula always wins because he’s forced to remain impartial, and no one else can out-debate her. it is on those days that he goes home and proceeds to rant about how everything azula said was wrong and why. 

katara and azula also fight, of course, but never in a structured setting. sometimes it ends in bloodshed. toph enjoys egging them on way too much. 

sokka is constantly misplacing his possessions. that is, when neither zuko nor suki are around to personally keep track of all his belongings. he loses his phone about twice a day. he’s checking the chem lab to see if he left his phone in there, but azula is already there, presumably to work on a lab. she offers to call his phone for him, and he types his number into her phone because she is too embarrassed to admit she already has his number (and a tracking device in place but thats not important). unfortunately, azula is the one to locate his phone, so she sees that her contact name is, “ZUKO’S SISTER??!??!!!!???!???!!??!!!!?” she has never been more offended in her entire life. 

katara is always threatening to beat up anyone who so much as looks at aang funny. no one would hurt aang, though. everyone loves aang. 

sokka loves art class. he also hates art class. he likes that he has a structured time and space in which to paint, and he loves painting. he hates that his paintings always turn out looking like wet garbage, especially compared to those of the guy who sits near him, who clearly is not even trying. he is the rich to sokka’s jeff. at least in sokka’s mind. sokka will oft complain about “that asshole who thinks he’s too good for art class,” but suki pays him no mind and rolls her eyes. until one day, when sokka and suki are being particularly annoying and making out in the middle of the hallway, which is particularly upsetting for zuko because a) that is Hot Guy From His Art Class and b) he will either have to wait for them to finish or politely ask them to move, as they are right in front of his locker. he says, “do you mind moving?” and he means this as politely as possible, but sokka is like “wow what a haughty bitch” so he just holds his index finger up as if to say “one second” and that is that is such an asshole move that zuko has no choice but to yell “what the fuck?!?” far too loudly. it leads to a kerfuffle that eventually lands them both in detention (suki was an innocent party and sokka is more than willing to take the fall for her.) their detention becomes a breakfast club meets war balloon, and sokka actually sort of tells someone about yue. that’s weird. why’d he do that? neither of them know. zuko has no idea what to say. well, this is awkward. another half hour passes. sokka idly mentions that they could totally find a way out of this room by crawling through the vents and then climbing the beams in the gym and after that it’s only a matter of finding an open window––and not getting caught. this is a joke, a completely hypothetical joke, of course. zuko’s like, “let’s do it.” sokka’s like “oh shit this bitch is crazy,” but, y’know, they pull it off. they run out of the school and keep running and only stop when sokka has the dawning realization that if any of this goes on his permanent record that definitely lessens his chances of getting scholarships. but zuko assures him that mr. bumi doesn’t actually give a fuck, and then offhandedly mentions that he sort of gives him the creeps, and sokka wholeheartedly agrees. this prompts more and more conversation, as they just kind of wander about various streets. once they finally realize that it’s gotten completely dark around them, it occurs to them that they may as well have stayed in detention. 

people won’t shut up about the shit that went down at post-prom. “did you see when that one guy…??” “yeah dude that was wild.” suki just smiles knowingly, and so her friends are all “oh did u hook up with ty lee again?” and she’s like “even better. i won monopoly.” 

katara hates zuko for incredibly petty reasons. like, “he took the last popsicle out of her fridge” petty. then, she very obtrusively finds out that hes gay and is immediately like Oh We Are Friends Now. zuko’s life has suddenly become so much more convenient now that katara is no longer being mean to him that it actually takes him a while to realize that katara is being actively nice to him. 

they talk about waves in physics, and it shakes toph to her core. later that day, she asks sokka to explain what colors are to her. he does not do a good job. starts talking about plato’s allegory of the cave, and the double slit experiment??? what??? zuko explaining that “colors are a feeling” is only marginally more helpful. so toph ultimately enlists suki’s help in explaining to her which colors are lame and which colors are dykey. suki immediately says “flannel.” 

so yes aang may have technically stolen momo from the zoo but its not his fault because momo followed him home and refused to leave his side!!!! 

once mai grows out of her “everyone is an idiot and i hate the world” phase, sokka realizes that she’s actually really cool. they hang out constantly. they have a weekly board game night, and they take turns hosting, which is hilarious because mai lives in a mansion and has an actual butler. their secret handshake is needlessly complicated. zuko tries to pretend it isn’t weird. but…. it’s weird right?? and like, it’s weird that no one else thinks it’s weird???? ……..why does no one else think it’s weird?????

azula is, of course, valedictorian, and her speech is about as bone-chilling as you’d expect. her jokes are too cruel to land. she namedrops harvard about ten times. she manages to squeeze in an offhanded dig at sokka, which makes katara nearly fight her onstage. at the afterparty, azula overhears a conversation wherein one meathead jock whose name she never learned says to another meathead jock whose name she never learned, “oh, but remember that speech from last year??? it was so funny.” this prompts her to have a little too much to drink, which only sokka notices (he showed up for katara and then he was dragged to the party by his friends), so he ends up driving her home. as a graduation gift to her, he says, he changes her contact name in his phone to “Azula.”

sokka has en english teacher who really has it out for him. katara tells him she had him before and wishes she could punch him in the face, and that it’s not his fault that he’s doing poorly in that class. still, sokka begs zuko to tutor him in english. zuko’s just like “you’re perfectly fine at english pakku just sucks” but he agrees to tutor him anyway. sokka’s grades do not improve in the slightest, but he does not care.

the week in which SAT results are expected to arrive, azula is weirdly vigilant about the mail. she makes sure to check the scores and then put it back in the envelope before anyone sees that it was opened. she very casually asks zuko “so what did you get?” and zuko just kinda shrugs impassively and walks away. azula smiles to herself. 

katara comes home one night to find mai and sokka watching a movie on her couch. (the movie is phantom thread and there are tears of laughter streaming down both their faces by the time it’s over.) she’s like “oh hey guys i saw both your girlfriends making out with each other at a party twenty minutes ago,” and sokkas like “for the last time, katara, suki’s not my girlfriend!!” and mai just angrily shushes her because she’s talking over the johnny greenwood score!!!!! smh.

toph never stops yelling at the administration for their ableism. and you’d best believe her valedictory speech blows everyone else’s out of the water. 

[baenxietydad]

regret of the times || the baes

@justkeepdancing-nemo

Word Count: 4703 

Date: July 8th, 2020

TL;DR: Marlin's half-truths and lies of omission blow up in his face

 NEMO: 

School was out. 

 Which meant Nemo was bored and needed something to do.

 He had his usual mental list of stuff, ‘course, all those projects that Nemo racked up and bounced between-- choreo, stretching, aerial-dance-practice, flight practice, scrapbooking sometimes, paper crane making, bla bla bla-- but it was kinda rainy outside which meant that he was stuck in the Hollow and feeling even more restless and picky than normal. Plus, all his friends were being losers and having plans that didn’t include him (well, Tae and Louie were working and Finn was doing art lessons). So rather than run down his phone, he figured hey-- maybe he’d actually practice his Hangul some more?

 And he knew exactly how. 

 Ever since he’d seen his baby book with Eomma’s handwriting in it, Nemo had been studying diligently, putting in at least an hour everyday, and sometimes more. Usually after supper, before Appa left for a shift at Pixie’s, he’d drag Appa over to the couch and they’d go over stuff together. He wanted to be able to hold that book in his hands one day and read it without any help. He had an ambitious goal: before summer was up, he’d be seriously fluent. 

 So Nemo fluttered to Appa’s room. Appa was at the clinic of course, but Nemo could get a headstart before he got home. Now where had he put it…? 

 Right! Nemo zoomed over to the drawers by Appa’s bed, all the way to the top. He wiggled it open and saw the boxes that he was pretty sure was where his Appa had gotten the baby book. There were several of them though-- he just grabbed the first and opened it up, still fluttering in place. Huh, nope, no book--

 Nemo was about to pop the top back on the box when he paused. His eyes focused on the few photographs that were facing up. Slowly, the smile faded from his lips, and his eyebrows furrowed.

 Nemo took the box and moved over to Appa’s bed. 

 Gently, as if each photograph was made of the most fragile spidersilk, he lifted them from the box. The first one had his eomma in one of those long graduation robes and silly mundus hats. He put it to the side-- saw another one, with… Appa and-- a few people he didn’t recognize. Those weren’t Appa’s parents. The woman actually looked like…

 But So-yeon’s parents had died. 

 He flipped to another picture, this one of his Eomma flinging her arms out in front of a sign for a huge Seoul University. He flipped faster and found ones of a dim apartment, freshly painted by the looks of it. And there were more of that couple-- her parents, definitely, helping her move into the apartment. And another of her-- she was pregnant in this one, posing with Appa in front of what had to be the Han River? 

 But they never lived in Seoul? Nemo thought and his body flashed hot and cold. Outside, the rain pattered harder on the wooden ceiling of his Hollow home.

 Nemo went back to the drawer, to the other boxes. He grabbed another and was back on the bed in a second, turning the whole thing over. Letters, postcards, more pictures, two journals poured out. He grabbed at a letter first, turning it over to see the blur of Eomma’s handwriting again. Mu-yeol-ssi, he read, I’m helping with a giant fundraiser on campus for the climatology department…

 None of this made sense. 

 Actually, it did make sense. Nemo blinked rapidly as the tears beaded hot in his eyes. It all made sense, but the pieces kept jarring with all the stories Appa liked to repeat for Nemo before bed, stroking his hair, whispered into his ear. Stories about Eomma as a fearless fast-flying-talent-- how popular she was in the Hollow-- how adventurous she was, how dedicated she was to caring for the winds, the trees, her fellow fairies. He’d taken all of those stories and kept them as close to his heart as he could because they were all he had ever had of his Eomma. He gripped the letters tighter like he was gripping at those memories, desperate not to let them blow away. 

 But even Nemo couldn’t hold onto nothing. They evaporated because they’d never been true, had they? Had they?! 

 Nemo didn’t know how long he sat there, hunched over the letters and the journals. He read until his head was pounding and his eyes stung, forcing himself to translate little bits and pieces as best as he could. It was enough to scrape together a different version of his eomma, the one that Appa had stolen from him-- a fairy who loved science and loved the human world, who had human friends and human dreams, who had moved out of the Hollow years and years before Nemo was ever born… 

 And then Nemo took those journals and he hid them in his backpack. 

 When Appa came home, Nemo was waiting for him, sitting unmoving at the kitchen table with the photographs and letters dumped across the surface. His head still hurt, but his chest felt strangely empty. The rain had stopped an hour ago, but everything still smelled dewy and warm. 

 He lifted his eyes and stared into Appa’s shocked eyes. 

 “Hi Appa,” he said simply, daring Appa with his eyes to try to explain. 

MARLIN:

 Was it a surprise to see Nam-min at the table when he got home from the clinic? No. Nemo was often sat there waiting for him when he had something exciting to share, or to ask him about, or to beg him to okay. When he opened the door to see Nemo he grinned and wondered what it could be he wanted to talk about today; until he met Nemo’s stone cold eyes and took a closer look. Sprawled out across the table were photographs, letters, and all kinds of documents his son was never supposed to see.

 He recognized the Harvard symbol on one of the papers - yes, his brilliant So-yeon had been accepted to the Ph.D program at Harvard. They couldn’t afford it. She continued to study at Seoul University. There were pictures of her in her Master’s regalia for her graduation, a picture of her taken in their small Seoul apartment holding baby Nemo in one arm with a textbook with English lettering in another. And that wasn’t all. There were pictures of them with humans holding baby Nemo. Something Nam-min never would have thought his father could have ever allowed? humans touching him, let alone cuddling him to their chests.

 Mu-yeol never set out to lie to his son, let him be clear about that. It was never a ‘let me just lie’ kind of thing, even if that is very much what it looked like now even to him.

 He wanted his son to know the truth, he did, he-- but humans killed his mother. She wanted to save the world, to stop the impending climate crisis, but the humans did not care. They chose profits over their planet long before So-yeon was even born and So-yeon was fighting to save a world she could not save. The world did not want to be saved and she was too stubborn and perhaps too foolish to see it. Mu-yeol, once, had been foolish enough to believe in her. And look where it had gotten them.

 So-yeon was dead, and Mu-yeol was but a shell of what he once was. 

 “Why...how...did you find those.”

 NEMO: 

Nemo didn’t want to hear explanations, but he figured Appa would at least try. He had sat here, fuming with a quiet and dangerous anger, and considered every excuse his abeoji would come up with. He wanted to be able to destroy each and every one, see. And so he held a hundred mental arguments with Appa, and with each one, his anger grew hotter and more intense. Now he felt like one of those sick-looking thunderclouds, so thick and green that you choked on all the humidity in the air. 

 As soon as the first excuse flew from Appa’s lips, that’s when he’d unleash.

 Instead: Appa didn’t even try. He stared back at Nemo and their home was dead silent. He looked at Nemo’s heap of evidence. When he spoke, he spoke slow and measured and he didn’t even try to deny it.

 How did you find those? Right, because it was something to hide. Because it was something that Appa intended to stay lost.

 Nemo’s hands clenched on top of his knees under the table. He shouldn’t have to answer Appa’s question. Appa was the one who should be answering his questions. 

“Why were they hidden?” he countered and he stood fast, knocking over the chair so it clattered to the ground. He glared at Appa. “Why did you hide them, Appa? Why didn’t you want me to see--” he grabbed one of the photographs and he thrust it in Appa’s face. It was one of baby Nemo and some people Nemo had never known-- friends, relatives? He couldn’t be sure, because Appa had lied about it all--

 “This? Huh? What’s so bad about this? Or what about this?” he reached back and grabbed the acceptance letter to Harvard and he shoved it against Appa’s chest. 

MARLIN:

 “I-” he held the acceptance letter against his chest and the seventeen year old paper made the faintest crinkling sound as the pressure on it increased. “-I never meant-”

 He never intended for the half-truths to go this far. Mu-yeol had wanted to tell him everything for years but how could he get the message that humans were dangerous and not to be trusted if as a child he knew his Eomma had never feared them. Worse. She may as well have been one of them. If it weren't for her pointed ears (and his) they both could have passed for human with how comfortably they’d lived in that world for eight years.

 There were defenses and excuses on the tip of his tongue but they wouldn’t come out. He knew it was indefensible, no matter what he said about humans, about how foolish So-yeon and young Mu-yeol had been, or about why he had to keep Nam-min from So-yeon’s family. It was the only way to keep him. It was the only way to keep him safe from humans! Ah, but you see, Mu-yeol had sabotaged himself by letting Nemo take dance classes with the humans. He wanted to give him reprieve from being the kid with the funny wing, he just wanted to give his son somewhere he could be happy the entire time, and by doing that he gave his son the gateway drug to So-yeon’s way of thinking. 

 To his own old way of thinking.

 “It- it doesn’t matter what we believed when we were young, about humans, Nam-min.” Mu-yeol finally said. “We were some of the ‘good ones’ and they still killed her. How could I protect you from humans, teach you to be careful, if you knew we hadn’t always been?”

 NEMO: 

Nemo scoffed.

 He stepped back from his Appa, the tears already bright in his eyes. His anger had skyrocketed but now it crashed down on him. He was exhausted. It felt like his wings were made out of stone. Like the walls of his house were closing in on him, bars on every window. Every single one of Appa’s lies was another weight. And all Appa’s fear-- that was the worst cage of all. Because it had trapped Nemo inside it.

 He’d expected something like this to come out of Appa’s mouth, he really did, another stupid version of the same speech about awful humans and never being too careful and how the world wanted them dead--

 But actually hearing it and holding Eomma’s photos in his hands, and knowing that Appa’s fear kept Nemo not only trapped here, but cut off from her too?

 Appa would have never told Nemo, not ever, not if it meant that he could keep controlling him. 

 “This isn’t about protecting me!” he shouted. “You want to control me! How I think, what I-- the life I want, the people I talk to, even the version of my mother I get to know! You kept her from me. You kept her all to yourself! I don’t even know wh-what parts you told me are-- are true--” Nemo’s breath choked off and he sobbed, quickly turning away from his father. 

 MARLIN:

“That isn’t true! Not- not entirely. Everything I did tell you was true, about how much she loved you, and how much she wanted you, and how you were her whole world. I...I just didn’t...didn’t tell you things.” Which - he always, always knew was wrong. He didn’t need his son to tell him that, but everything he did tell him was true.

 He didn’t even directly tell him So-yeon’s parents died. Mu-yeol only did not correct Nemo when he asked if they had, simply changed the subject. Again. He knew he was wrong. He knew he was the bastard here.

 “Nam-minnie, no. I don’t want to con-- I just wanted to protect you! You don’t understand!” His voice shook as the confessions piled up in his brain but wouldn’t leave his mouth.

 There was so much to this story Nam-min didn’t know, and that was his fault, but he didn’t mean to, he never, ever would have done this if he hadn’t been driven to it! He had tried to raise Nemo in Korea, where they belonged, with the truth. Mu-yeol had wanted to and was going to but when faced with leaving home or losing Nemo, he chose to leave.

 Perhaps, he thought not for the first time this year, he should have let Kyung-ok and Young-chul just take Nam-min from him back then. It was clear to him he would have been happier without him. 

 The proof was unfolding right now in the Bae’s Hollow home.

 “Your eomma fought so hard to save their world and she was thanked by being murdered. I was trying to teach you to not be foolish like we were; at the end of the day, they see us not as part of their ‘us’ but as a scary ‘Them.’ That should only be more evident now.” Mu-yeol said, stepping forward to reach for a picture of So-yeon in her Master’s regalia posing with the Seoul University sign.

 “I broke my back to put her through university while raising you. She wanted to save the world, but the world didn’t want to be saved, and the world ate her alive.” He muttered, his hand trailing over the scar across his chest  under his tunic as the phantom aches that came with thinking too hard about So-yeon’s death reared their ugly head.

 NEMO: 

Nemo shook his head as Appa started to talk and he kept shaking it. Tears brimmed in his eyes. Appa just kept saying the same thing. Nemo had heard this same speech this whole life, and the parts that were different were not different enough, because Appa wasn’t even sorry-- the way he was talking, it was like Nemo wasn’t even there at all. But Nemo was here. 

 Sixteen years, Nemo trusted Appa because he had to-- he didn’t have anyone else. 

 Sixteen years, Nemo believed in him and defended him from other fairies and always, always took his side.

 Sixteen years, Nemo had been patient. He followed his Appa’s rules. Sure, there were times he messed up, and there were little white lies and there were fights, but he stuck to his curfew, he texted Appa when they were apart, and he let Appa approve every friend. He always said he was sorry and he always meant it. He tried and tried to be a good son, despite the fact that Nemo made it hard, because he had a big mouth and no impulse control and an ugly, gimp wing that made Appa worry even more. 

 And for sixteen years, Appa lied and lied and lied. 

 “You are a liar,” Nemo spat the word at Appa, even as more tears fell from his eyes. The lightning was back in his eyes. “And no matter what you say, it wasn’t about protecting me. You wanna know how I know? Because of this--” And he grabbed another photo.

 It was the one of Eomma, her parents-- and baby Nemo. 

 “You told me they were dead. But they’re not, are they? Do they even know-- do they even know where I am?” Nemo threw the photo at Appa, even though it fluttered weakly through the air. “Did you tell them I died too? You made me believe-- this whole time, I--you made it so you were the only way I could know my eomma.” His breath caught, coming in tiny gasps.

 MARLIN:

 He gasped as Nemo held up the picture of So-yeon with her parents. Mu-yeol’s hand moved to snatch it out of his son’s hand as if he could take back Nam-min seeing what his maternal grandparents looked like. There were worse lies he was guilty of than telling his son his grandparents had died. Song Young-chul and Kang Kyung-ok were not the kind of fairies his son needed in his life. They were proof that not all fairies were good, that you didn’t have to be a mara or drow to be a mean-spirited, nasty faerie. 

 “Well they’re dead to me!” Mu-yeol shouted, so loud even he jumped.

 They were the reason why while Nam-min trusted even the fairies in the Hollow mean to his Appa, Marlin knew better. The snide comments, the backhanded compliments, the looks, and the scoffs all betrayed the potential to be as cruel as his wife’s parents were. Fast-flying talents like them were known to be snobby, selfish, and arrogant, but Kang Kyung-ok...she really took the cake. 

 Even if she hated him so much, her daughter had loved him. Couldn’t she see how hard he worked to support her and her dreams while he never allowed himself to have any of his own?

 Of course not.

 Kyung-ok, now that he thought about it, was right. He truly was the worst thing to come into her daughter’s path, because look at him now. Look at his son. He did this, he made Nemo hurt like this. Hilarious! Kyung-ok hadn’t seen him in over a decade and she had finally won.

 Oh, Nemo, he wanted to say. If you’ll calm down and listen I’ll explain why I kept you from them. 

 “You’re right! You’re right. I lied. But you don’t- - you don’t understand, they aren’t good people, her parents…” the reasons why, the stories he could tell Nemo, it was like he forgot all of them the second he needed to recount them.

 Even So-yeon resented her mother, and not in the normal way. Her father had his moments but Young-chul was very much his wife’s husband. What Kyung-ok said and thought was generally law, so he never did mellow her out. He was a decent father to his two daughters though so So-yeon didn’t completely estrange herself from them.

 It helped though that she lived in Seoul and her parents only came from Daegu a few times a year. 

 He knew he had done right by So-yeon by keeping her parents from raising Nemo, but had he done right by Nemo? And doesn’t his living son matter more than his dead wife?

 “Nam-minnie, you have to believe me, eo?” Mu-yeol said quietly, reaching to cradle one of Nemo’s cheek in his hand. “I- you know everything I do is to take care of you. I wouldn’t have kept them from you for no reason.”

 NEMO: 

Nemo ripped away. 

 He staggered back two steps, hitting the chair he overturned. Normally, nothing made him feel better than Appa’s touch. Sure, he was a healing-talent, but it was more than that-- it was Appa. Appa who gave the best massages, Appa who always knew when Nemo needed a hug. Casual touches passed between father and son the way the wind passed through the trees. Nemo was never without it. He always knew to ask for it if he needed it, but he rarely had to ask, because Appa gave it freely. 

 But now Appa’s touch was the opposite of healing. It was just another lie. Everything Appa said-- it was so flimsy and all barbed, like human wire that lined the tops of fences to keep poor animals in. Nemo shook his head as more of those lies spewed from Appa’s mouth. How could he believe him? What else was there that Nemo hadn’t even found yet? There could be boxes shoved under Appa’s bed or hidden in the floorboards. He could have destroyed things. Burned them, ripped them up, decided they weren’t for Nemo’s eyes.

 Because it was all up to his oh so smart Appa, huh, to decide what was good and what was bad, who was good and who was bad. And why was Nemo so shocked, huh? Appa keeping Nemo’s grandparents from him wouldn’t be the first time he banned Nemo from other people. That’s what he did. He locked Nemo up, kept him lonely and dependent and as sad as him. 

 “I don’t believe you!” Nemo shot back. “I don’t! I shouldn’t! You lied my whole life! You lied about who I am and where I come from and about my family! I hate you, I seriously hate you!” The words ripped from his lips before he could stop them--

 He didn’t want to stop them.

 He meant them. He relished them. 

 MARLIN:

 Mu-yeol should have been hurt by Nemo’s words but the thing was - he always believed those words. Of course Nemo hated him. Look at him. Hearing it from him was almost cathartic, yeah? Like he wasn’t actually crazy, like all those times Nemo said he loved him and he was the best Appa ever were actually the lies.

 This felt more like the truth. It made sense. 

 “That makes two of us,” he muttered, before dragging a hand across his face.

 “I didn’t lie about who you are! You’re still-- everything I have told you about your mother is true. My lies were lies of omission, and I know that doesn’t make anything better. I know. But everything I did tell you was true. So-yeon-” his breath hitched and his eyes watered. “-loved you more than anything. She thought your wing was cute and thought nothing was wrong with you. You were perfect to her and to me, and that- that’s what’s important. That she loved you, that…”

 And he trailed off, aware he was just. Talking nonsense. Word vomit in his shocked caught off-guard state.

 NEMO: 

“Just shut up!” 

 He jumped in as soon as Appa hesitated and fell off. And if he wasn’t so hurt, he’d see Appa retreating back into himself and recognize it as his depression. Nemo was usually so careful with all that, especially recently, especially having seen the river and knowing the dark thoughts that Appa was capable of.

 But he was hurt and Nemo wanted to be hurt, for once. He didn’t want to be understanding. He didn’t want to be the bigger person. He didn’t want to hear how much Appa loved him, when all that love felt conditional on Nemo doing things his way and only thinking the way Appa wanted him to think. 

 How could he even see his appa standing there when his trust was scattered like this? Without that trust--

 Without that trust, loving Appa just hurt. And Nemo didn’t want to do it anymore.

 “Get it through your stupid skull, Appa. Everything you say-- it’s rot to me now. Everything you ever told me and I’m-- I’m not gonna forgive you for this. Ever. I swear. From now on, I might as well be dead to you too!” 

 And then he stepped over the chair and grabbed the packed backpack that was waiting by the tableside. He slung it on one shoulder. “I don’t wanna spend another single second with you.” 

 MARLIN:

 “No!” Mu-yeol gasped, stepping forward and grabbing the other strap of Nemo’s backpack. “You can’t — you can hate me all you want but you can’t just run away. Nemo, please. Sit down, we’ll talk about…”

 His eyes watered and his vision blurred but his tears did not fall. This was not about him, he didn’t get to cry in front of his son when his son was the one hurting, and hurting for a good reason. Because he was right. He was a liar. He was the worst. 

 Nemo didn’t need to say it. Mu-yeol just knew the worst thing he ever did was make it out of that river. 

 “Nam-min, my love, please. I’ll — I’ll tell you everything I promise. Give me that chance.”

 NEMO: 

Nemo yanked the backpack to try to force Appa to let go. He glared too-- his talent stirring in him enough that the air in their house began to move, curling around Nemo and fluttering his hair lightly. 

 It was a warning. 

 If he had to, Nemo wouldn’t hesitate to blast Appa back if he tried to keep Nemo here by force. His gusts had never been that strong, but he believed in them now. He wouldn’t be kept here. He wouldn’t be a prisoner. He wouldn’t let Appa try to lie his way back into Nemo’s heart. The plan had formed hours ago, as Nemo read and read and read, discovered all the lies, found all the holes in Appa’s stories. There was still so much left for Nemo to find out too. That’s why he had shoved Eomma’s journals and letters to her parents and sister (Soon-ja, he’d read, he’d figured it out) into his backpack. He couldn’t trust that Appa would translate everything for him accurately. He couldn’t trust that he wouldn’t take it all away, hide it somewhere else, and then ground Nemo for good measure. 

 If Nemo was going to learn the truth about his eomma, he had to do it on his own. Away from here. 

 “Let me go, Appa.” He said it through gritted teeth, the warning heavy in his voice. “I’m not your responsibility anymore.”  

 MARLIN:

 Mu-yeol, in hindsight, should have let go. He knew how stubborn his son was but part of him still foolishly hoped Nemo would stay and let him clear the air. He’d be making up for this for the rest of his life and he knew that, he just wanted Nemo to give him the chance. 

 It was a chance he knew he didn’t deserve; he was a self-aware monster, after all, but a chance he wanted nonetheless. 

 “Yes you are. You’re my son, you’ll always be mine to worry about and love. I’ll always love you. I do love you, so much. Nemo, please.” He tugged gently on the backpack strap. “Please, egi-yah, let me tell you everything.”

 NEMO: “I said let go!” 

 On the last word, Nemo ripped the strap from his appa with all the strength he had and thrust out his other hand. The gust punched from his palm, concentrated in a solid stream. It smacked Appa center in the chest and sent him stumblingback a few steps, giving Nemo a clear view of the door. 

 But he drew back his hand and then sent another gust of wind anyway, this time at the table-- blowing all those pictures, the cards, and the letters at Appa in a maelstrom of memories. Take them! Nemo thought furiously to himself as the wind gushed through his hair, kicked up all the paper, and the table rocked on its legs, almost turning over. Take them and hoard them like you did for all these years and-- 

 “LEAVE ME ALONE!” he shouted this last part and he zipped toward the door. It blew open, swinging angrily on its rusty hinges. 

 The air greeted him, and Nemo tasted of all that afternoon summer rain. Clear and wet and hot.

[eottoghe]

Little Boxes - Thirteen

A Jeonghceol Domestic AU where they live in suburbia with their six year old son Chan. Jeonghan is an active member of the PTA, a soccer dad and chauffeur, and a supportive parent all around. His loving husband cares deeply for his passions and will follow him to the end of the world if it keeps him and his family happy. Follow their journey as they get caught up in fun and zany adventures when they fall outside of the guide lines of your average neighbor. Don’t really know where I’m going with this, but I want to see how many different domestic prompts I can get out of this AU before I run out of steam.

First Chapter

Previous Chapter

________________________________________________________________

It’s Monday. Chan usually doesn’t like Mondays all that much because they mean having to restart his routine of waking up too early and sitting through reading time for what seems like foreeeever. There’s no Saturday morning cartoons on Mondays and no Seungcheol-appa to cuddle with on the couch while they eat Cocoa Pebbles. But today is a special Monday. Why?

Because he is officially turning seven years old today!

He doesn't feel any different. Not yet anyway. But he's excited, nonetheless. He likes holidays. All kinds of holidays because most of them only come once a year. And this is the one time a year he gets a holiday all to himself.

At school, Jeonghan shows up right before lunch time with two rectangular boxes nestled close to his chest and a red tote bag hanging off his shoulder. The classroom instantly goes mum at the spectacle before them, thrilled whispers and inconspicuous glances being passed around the room. They know the drill.

They’re all getting really good at math so they can easily spot the solution to this equation. If they sang Happy Birthday to Chan at the start of the class and his parent comes to the classroom during lunch time, then the boxes in his hands must be cupcakes! It happens often enough for them to know, but the excitement never really wears off.

“I can help you, Mr. Choi!”

“No, me!”

“I can get the napkins!”

The kids jump at the opportunity to help hand out the goodies. It’s a great feeling because Jeonghan knows in a few years, it’ll be torture just asking for a simple chore to get done. For now, he revels in the kindness that they exude and smiles the same gentle smile that won them over during the first fundraiser event he’d helped with.

Chan gets out of his seat, running to his dad. He hugs his thighs and Jeonghan has to re-balance himself to make sure the cupcakes don’t go flying due to the sheer magnitude of the impact. Chan showing public affection? He’s put aside his childhood bravado just for this sweet moment and Jeonghan couldn’t be more soft for it.

“Please stay in your seats. I’ll choose a couple of you to hand out napkins and Mr. Choi and I will pass out the cupcakes.” Their teacher calls out to the class. Chan is reluctant to pull away but thinks about getting a red sticker on his birthday. He would hate hate hate getting a red sticker any day for not listening and even more if its on this day so he scurries off to his table and plops back down in his mustard yellow, plastic seat. He is beaming at his dad with rose dusted cheeks as his classmates say happy birthday to him and high five him from where they sit. He loves the attention even if he still gets shy sometimes.

Once they’re back settled and the two designated helpers pass out all of the napkins to each kid, Jeonghan and the teacher divide and conquer. Jeonghan was smart and decided to purchase cupcakes that were as uniform as possible. He knows how picky kids can be and wanted to avoid arguments over who got what.

Chan gets first pick though and his table is glad to have the birthday boy in their assigned group because that means they get next pick. Jeonghan and the teacher go table by table, weaving between the chattering children bouncing in their chairs. The chirped thank you’s rang out in high pitched squeals as they dug into the sugary sweet cupcakes, blue frosting staining their tongues. (Probably the best kind of treats are ones that can be shown off by their visual residue).

As they eat and talk amongst themselves, Chan’s teacher starts up a conversation with Jeonghan standing shoulder to shoulder, looking out across the classroom. “Thank you for coming in today. The kids just seem to adore you, Mr. Choi.” The teacher is a bit new and exultant in her teaching methods. She hasn’t been beaten down by the hardships that come along with the job yet so every moment she sees the kids smile is a win in her book.

“I do my best. I love kids. In another life, I could see myself as a teacher at a school like this one.” He laughs to himself thinking about how completely exhausted he’d be with small aged children filling up every corner of his life. It’s not much different from now only he doesn’t have to deal with the responsibility that accompanies teaching at a public school.

“I could see that too. Chan is always talking about you and your partner like you’re the best things that ever happened to him. We’re so lucky to have Chan and you both as his supporters. He’s got lots of friends here and he’s such a cheerful kid.”

Jeonghan, try as he may, is unable to stop the proud smile from spreading across his reddening face. He feels his ears tingle, looking at the ground to avoid the eyes of the grateful woman.

“Thank you. I feel secure with him in your care.” He nods his head in mutual appreciation. He definitely doesn’t pop in to the classroom nearly as much as he did in the beginning of the year when he couldn’t trust any teacher to govern over his one and only child for such a significant portion of the day. He thinks she’s done well.

She reminds the class that they should RSVP to Chan’s birthday party by tomorrow after Jeonghan mentions it in their casual talk. She also gives her thanks to Jeonghan for giving an invite to every kid as feeling left out in this age is such a saddening thing to see on a child’s face. Invitations were handed out a week ago and Chan was happy to report that everyone seemed eager.

They close out the mini celebration with Chan being wished happy birthday one more time in a cacophonous harmony. Jeonghan kneels and gives him a quick kiss on his forehead before the now seven-year-old decides it’s too embarrassing. The extra cupcakes are left for the other teachers Chan might want to share with and Jeonghan hands over some extra hand sanitizer bottles and tissues he bought for the classroom. The teacher thanks him once more and he’s off.

Chan still has a couple hours left of school so he decides to stop by a Michael’s craft store to avoid the drive back home just to turn around and fight traffic back. There’s still shopping to do for the vast decorations he has yet to gather. He was so inspired, he even made a moodboard from various Pinterest posts he’d come across. Chan wanted a Jurassic Park theme and it allowed Jeonghan to let his creativity set sail.

He’d picked up the plates, cups, and utensils all in a convenient party pack from Party City along with table cloths and enough supplies to craft some pretty kick ass goodie bags. What he’s most excited about though is the zookeeper outfits they’d come across. It took lots of asking around, but they’d found some. The adult size was definitely going to fit Seungcheol better than himself (He was biased. He thought Seungcheol was smoking in everything he wore), but it worked out well enough that when they all stood together, they looked like they were off on an expedition, slashing through vines and palm fronds deep in the jungle. Chan loved it (He was biased. He loved everything).

He’d also already ordered the “party hats”. Of course, they weren’t any regular party hats. If Jeonghan had been any regular person or a part of any regular family then maybe he would have done the regular thing. BUT he’s Yoon Jeonghan and decided that the “party hats” would in fact be Safari hats and made sure to order them in bulk early.

So now he’s pushing a cart through the crowded aisles of Michael’s with Jisoo balanced between his head and his shoulder, speaking animatedly through his cell phone.

“You invited the entire class and the soccer team?” Josh stresses. He wishes Jeonghan would have mentioned the number of expected guests before he signed on for this project.

“It’s not that bad. Not everyone will show up. You know how these things go.” Jeonghan shrugs his shoulder as if the other can see him, brushing off his questioning tone. He’s cutting his eyes back and forth between two very different styles of leaves. Leaves larger than his head surround him in the plastic flowers section. He picks up a handful of both under the guise that the jungle has many different types of plants. He doesn’t have to be climatically accurate. These children won’t be able to tell the difference when they’re maxed out on sugar.

“It’s Valentine’s weekend. Literally everyone is coming because parents are going to dump them for a few hours of alone time.”

“Oh… I forgot to get Valentine cards for the class. Thanx for the reminder.” Jeonghan answers, his mind drifting a few aisles down to where he remembers inflated, pink balloons and mega stuffed teddy bears. He considers getting one for Seungcheol. Seungcheol’s a lot softer than he looks.

“Hannie… This is going to be really expensive… Seungcheol does know all that you’ve planned right?”

“Yah! Stop scolding me. I’m a grown man.” Jeonghan feigns exasperation, but he bursts into a fit of giggles before he can finish. “It’s fine. I’ve been saving up. And don’t try and turn my husband against me. He’s very much so on board with me…” He mumbles after, “…sort of.”

“So on top of helping you set up, you’re calling me in to babysit too.”

“It’ll be fun. Your daughter and Chan can have a play date while we get ready and she’ll pretty much babysit herself at the party. It’ll be great.”

~~~~

Great is an understatement.

From the front of their home, much isn’t revealed to the expectant children being dropped off. In fact, the house is still difficult to find due to the 50 other ones built with the exact same model. What sets it apart are the shiny apple red and onyx black balloons tied to the mailbox and the sign hanging on the door saying, “Welcome to Jurassic Park”.

The kids are met at the door by Jeonghan (the responsible one who is actually paying attention to the doorbell) and are led through the simple living room, hopping along plastic dinosaur tracks that are set out. The sliding door leading to the backyard is opaque, covered in a dark backdrop, obscuring the view to the party happening just on the other side. But they can hear music and laughter and the anticipation balls up and rolls through their tummies.

When the door finally draws opens, it attracts them in like a beacon, beckoning forth the tiny adventurers into the wonderful world of dinosaurs. Joshua stands at the entryway with safari hats to hand out. It’s such a funny thing to see the kids blank, sensory spasms making it hard to decide what to avert their attention to first.

There’s greenery everywhere and it truly feels like their own little contained jungle. Wooden planks jut out on display with caution tape strategically draped over them; the fraying at the tips looks like they’d been ripped through. Beware posters tie in the setting.

A table is filled with snacks and foods all made to fit the theme. White chocolate covered pretzels transform into dinosaur bones, doughnut holes dusted with sugar mimic unhatched eggs. Pudding cups with dirt-like, cookie crumbles sprout miniscule palm trees and the tiniest dinosaur figurines. And there’s chicken nuggets! There’s a tyrannosaurus and brachiosaurus and some other saurus they still can’t pronounce. Seungcheol has the grill going and the smoke makes it look like a volcano has erupted in the background.

And is that… a bounce house? In the backyard?!?!

(Jeonghan may or may not have rented that one without Seungcheol’s knowledge but when the crew came knocking to set it up, there was little he could do to argue about it.)

And yes, Jeonghan will admit he outdid himself this time, but he was damn proud of his work. They all were impressed. “You should consider party planning. This looks great!”, his husband said in awe when he’d seen the finish product of Jeonghan’s creation. But with great power comes great responsibility. And responsibility brought big headaches.

The night before, he got the minimum amount of sleep preparing. Everyone helped, but once it got late, he coerced them into bed while his hyperactive, perfectionist mind fussed over the most minute details. He’d ended up finishing the goodie bags, creating labels for the food and pre-made all the snacks he could get away with. He’d hit the bed at around 4 a.m. and woke up hours later to get the backyard ready. On top of mild sleep deprivation, the inevitable over protective side of him resurfaced as the children ran freely, playing make believe. He was stressed™.

“You look like you need a nap.” Joshua sidles up next to him, poking his cheek.

“I just want everything to be perfect.” He admits with a sigh and a tired smile.

Joshua pans over the immaculate scene of their movie-set-ready layout. Seungcheol cooking on the grill as he nods along to the music, the kids—Chan cheesing so hard, letting forth such an innocent, unbridled laugh that breaks the heavens open to let pure sunlight spill down upon them.

Joshua thinks this is perfect. The party. Their family.

“You’re doing amazing. Everyone is enjoying themselves. You should too.” Joshua rubs his hand on his shoulder in a comforting manner. “I’m listening out for the door, go talk to Seungcheol and grab something to eat. Relax.”

Jeonghan takes his advice.

He opens his mouth to say something and instead gets it filled with a piece of meat hot off the grill.

“I just finished up. How’s it taste?” Seungcheol already knows the answer but asks anyway with a knowing smirk.

“It’s haa… Whew. It’s hot.” Jeonghan speaks around the beef burning his tongue. The flavor is savory, but when he says hot off the grill he means it in its entirety. “Yummy.”

Seungcheol kisses him on the cheek, pulling him into a side hug with one arm loosely around his waist.

“I can’t believe I’m really going to do this.” Seungcheol speaks after a minute of watching the kids play.

“It’s really adorable what you’re doing. They’re going to love it.”

“Sure hope so.”

“Hurry up and go! I wanna cut the cake.” He honestly doesn’t mind what time the cake gets cut. The younger brunette is finally starting to relax and knows that this portion of his day will be the most iconic. Although Jeonghan had planned the majority of this party, Seungcheol planned something of his own. And this one was a surprise.

“Oh no! Kids watch out!” Jeonghan shouts a warning to the crowd playing in the patch of grass. They all look up, startled and Jeonghan makes sure he has the camera rolling.

In less than a second, their attention focuses in on the person(?) standing by the sliding door. It’s…

A dinosaur?

They don’t move or speak for a second.

And then they hear a roar. The dinosaur darts out toward their huddle. They scatter, screaming like they’re being chased by an actual creature and not a grown man in an inflatable dinosaur suit. Screams melt into giggles and the laughter builds as the kids continue to run away from who they’ve now realized is just some clumsy person fumbling around in a costume.

Chan doesn’t know who it is until the dinosaur trips over its own feet, landing ungracefully in the grass. His yelp is distinguishable even between the screams and laughs and music.

“Daddy!” Chan runs up to the dinosaur, any possibility of him being afraid flying out the window. By the time Seungcheol finds his way back up, Chan runs into his legs with a tight hold. It sends the dinosaur back to the ground and soon all the kids are piling up on the lump of dino dad roaring unconvincingly.

Joshua and Jeonghan stand by each other, every single second of it caught on video. They’re holding their stomachs with how hard they’re laughing. He imagines this being one of those clips that end up on AFV.

It takes a while to get everyone to calm down. Eventually, they make it to the table to eat and sing happy birthday and share slices of cake. Pictures were taken. So many pictures. And the night ends with children slowly being picked up while they cuddle around the couch and watch the latest Jurassic World movie.

Right before Chan falls asleep, he pulls both of his dads in for a hug, an arm around the neck of each.

“Thank you for the best day ever.” He yawns with the same smile he’s adorned all day. Truly, it hasn’t left his face once.

Jeonghan thinks he can finally rest now. A successful weekend it was.

~~~

Finally got to posting the birthday chapter on here. Tumblr has... changed? There’s not a function to add a line to separate things anymore??? Oof. I’m on twitter now :) @eottoghe

[malachithemagic-blog]

BTS hyung line fighting with S/O

Bts hyung line fighting with their S/O [male reader]

Jin

    Jin had come home around ten that night, the night that your first fight had ever broken out. He was stressed and near tears huffing and stumbling over words and phrases; soft curses left his plump lips like foreign tongue as he complained about work, and how he was never good enough no matter how much he did the steps to a dance. Jin also hadn’t been sleeping well, some nights he never came home, and later you’d find out he’d crash at Yoongi’s place which you understood, but he overworked himself and underestimated his skill. Sometimes they all did.

But today was the last straw. Him coming home late or not at all, was hard enough, but you had to take care of the your child by yourself, clean, and cook dinner ( which you were not that good at) and eat all by yourself, you had enough.

When Jin walked in through the front door of your home, you immediately questioned him “is work more important than your family? Seokjin you’re barely home.” you shirlled as he hushed you trying to coax you to be quiet seeing that you were too big of a mess to care if your daughter heard you and woke up. “Jagi--’ he started only to be shushed by your yelling and finger pointed, nearly hitting his face.

“Why aren’t you ever home…” you trailed off, sucking in a quick breath through gritted teeth your eyebrows furrowed and nose wrinkled; your stance a bit slouched like you were scared he’d snap and yell too. But all he did was grab onto your shoulders messaging them lovingly and mumbling soft apologies and promises about coming home, making dinner so you wouldn’t have to worry anymore.

“I’ve been so stressed, with work at the store, and picking her up from school. The babysitter quit, and sara hasn’t been listening she wants you, and your lallubys. She complained about me overcooking dinner tonight she hasn’t bathed she’s acting out because she misses you jin” jin shushed you again, kissing your forehead softly, hands still on your shoulders.

“I’ll be home more often” jin promised, pulling you into a warm hug but your sentiment was interrupted by the small voice of an eight year old asking what all the noise was about you explained that you and Jin had just been playing around and got too loud - you both then apologised to your beloved daughter and tucked her back into bed, Jin sang his lullaby and she fell right asleep; happy her father was home.

You and Jin then went to your own room, leaving the tv on as you both stayed quiet wrapped around in one another; cuddling as he hummed softly to you running his hands through your thick ruffles of hair till you both had fallen asleep.

The meaningless fight had been forgotten after all of Jin’s promises. You loved each other after all.

Suga

    Suga had come home later from his studio then you and the kids had expected. It was around twelve, you sat arms folded on the couches leather ottoman eyebrows knitted together. Suga soft “hey” was your cue to stand making your silhouette more clear for him to see; see that you were upset. Suga’s lips spread into an uneasy frown of dismay and confusion. You then stepped over to the light switch and flicked it up the bright kitchen light illuminating the medium sized apartment. “Christ y/n you just sat here, in the dark - waiting for me?” Suga’s voice was sharp as you scoffed, speaking up “where were you? I made dinner, i even made you a plate - watched it get cold and then gave misun a bath which is your job yoongi. Your job.” Suga’s eyebrows arched and he let out a loud groan rolling his eyes and shuffling to the kitchen opening the fridge, his eyes scanned the inside till he landed on a saran wrapped plate of food in awkward hand written letters it was labelled ‘appa’ Suga cracked a smile pulling it out and unwrapping it ignoring the fact you were still worried sick - Suga hadn’t returned your calls, not even the couple of texts you had sent to see when he was coming home.

“Yoongi…” you started this time Suga had cut you off, raising his hand to silence you muttering a soft “i was at the studio, you can call Namjoon and ask unless he’s at home with liam happily sleeping instead of having a one sided argument” he proceeded to put the plate into the microwave closing the small door and leaning on the counter “anything else Y/n?” he asked through barely parted lips. Suga sounded; irritated - maybe mildly annoyed with you and your self proclaimed worry about his disappearance all night. You wanted to say something but your now sheepish voice was cut off by the beeping tone of the microwave, yoongi by now had seated himself at the table, calmly eating as you stood awkward in the gap between kitchen and family room. That was when you spoke coming off a bit more mad then you originally planned to sound your voice sharp “you could have told me you’d be later than usual, i sent you a text or two asking why you weren’t home for din-” “my phone was off.” interjected yoongi before he took a bite of his food his eyes shifting to you.

“Your phone was off?” you repeated through a sarcastic half hearted and forced laugh walking over to the table and leaning over to Suga your eyebrows raised in wonder “that’s it?” you asked, Suga’s lips pursed before he spoke his upper lip twitching “i’m sorry” he grumbled “let me fucking eat now.” his once calm voice was now a hiss, his tone oozing anger. Making you step back a bit “fine, eat Yoongi, eat the meal that would have been better freshly cooked with love” “you know what-” Suga started “what?” you cut him off once more these words coming through your gritted teeth “you can be so nagging, Y/n like some housewife-” Suga began setting his utensil down and  pushing himself away from his plate his eyes never left your - you both had just an intense stare,some raging glint in your eyes like these statements you both were making were oh, so true but never uttered. “What the hell, did you just call me, Min Yoongi?” your voice had risen into a practical outside voice as your son would say. “You heard me!” he was also yelling now - and he had stood up the only thing separating the two of you was the table. You had never been more grateful for the table in your years of being, married to Suga. you two had always disagreed on things but he never called you anything rude or self esteem ruining - like house wife, especially considering you were a man. Oddly enough it hurt your feelings usually you’d laugh at that statement but tonight it was the root of your next anger flooded comment that you’d regret no matter how many times your husband would say it’s okay.

“Don’t get pissy with me and be bipolar just due to the fact i was worried - that our kids were worried Yoongi”

You went to grab his plate taking it off to the trash and scrapping what he didn’t and wasn’t going to eat into it, glancing over to see him walking towards you and before you could turn your body his hand was on your wrist he had pulled your hand back a bit harsher causing the plate to slip from your grasp and shatter to the floor with a bang, and you immediately pulled your arm from Suga kneeling down to pick up the pieces of plate that had chipped off. Tossing those into the trash as well, you were now ignoring yoongi’s presence as he grumbled and growled out your name following you through and out of the kitchen “look at me” he’d say standing in front of you only for you to go the other way it went on like this for a good two more hours his voice continuously would get louder Suga had finally had enough of you not listening to his half attempted sorries, his fist had swung right into the wall with a loud bang the pale skin around his knuckles and thumb turned pink, and then began to swell as he barked out a “fucking accept my sorry and sit down so we can talk, Y/n!” you jumped, your whole body shivered and your face had gone pale, by impulse you stepped back, no longer just staying away because you were mad but staying away because you were scared.

“Dad?” a child called out from the other room, Suga’s breath hitched when he remembered his children, and then another voice rang out after - coming out in more of a cry making your face cringe in guilt. You crept away from Suga whose hands were curled into tight fists; shaking.

Making your way into the room, you sighed rushing to your crying daughter, misun pulling the small girl into a hug you began to apologize until your son, jinsoo’s words caught your attention. “That sounded bad, is appa throwing things again?” you couldn’t say anything the words were caught in your burning throat as you held your seven year old daughter - all you could do was shake your head ‘no’ just when Suga came into the room, his voice flat and low; hoarse with guilt.

“Oh my god” he mumbled out swallowing hard as he shuffled to you and the kids “i didn’t realize i’m so sorry Y/n kids. I’m sorry -” he cut himself of running a hand through his thick locks of white dyed hair before continuing “i’ll go stay at Namjoon’s until this cools off i’ve just been stressed and i didn’t think you’d mind me coming home later than usual babe i’m so sorry i scared you i didn’t mean to.”

You huffed, teeth digging into your bottom lip watching as your daughter climbed away from you and walked over to Suga hugging at his side with a small whine. “It’s okay.” you whispered “let’s just ready for bed, yeah?”

“Yeah.” he repeated, running his hand over his daughters brown locks of hair, before letting her go lay back down, he muttered a ‘goodnight’ to his son who seemed a bit upset still, but managed an honest smile and a simple “love you.” watching as you and Suga left the room, entering the room the both of you shared. You both then said in unison “i’m sorry” Suga then pulled you into a tight hug his warm breath tickling your neck, you both stood there in the dim room for a moment or two. Suga then abruptly pulled away - scanning your face.

You looked, tired your eyes were bloodshot and wide your lips twisted into an uncomfortable line and your pale cheeks damp with tears, tears that only fell out of guilt and anger. You loved Suga you did, and he was usually so patient with you and the kids but when he lost his temper he was absolutely terrifying, never saying things he truly meant - but it always hurt. The few times you actually fought that is. And Suga felt so guilty like some sort of monster. “I feel like some, shitty mental patient” you sighed frowning pursing your lips to speak up “it’s okay i already said it was and, you aren’t mental yoongi”

“Are you sure?” he asked, “i’m sure” you responded happily

“I love you” Suga muttered “i love you more” you replied leaning over to peck his lips.

Jhope

    Hoseok was never angry, not ever until one night when he came home a little too drunk. He came home around one in the morning, he was at the bts festa dinner. You would of been fine if he came home round ten or eleven, but one in the morning?! Know that was just not ok. Hoseok drunkenly stumbled into the family room, almost falling on his face.

He found his way to the couch, sitting right next to you. “Where have yo- are you drunk?” you asked, getting a full look at you husband. He looked completely zoned out and out off it, on top of that he reeked of alcohol. Hoseok looked at you and gave you a drunken smile and nodded. “ what the hell hoseok?!”your sudden outburst startled the drunken man, he looked up at you in confusion and a little bit of anger. “ i thought you were eating food and have fun with your band mates! Not get so drunk to were you cant speak?!” you started. Your voice rose along with your anger. “I...i can speak! Why a-are you s-so mad in the fir...irst place?” hoseok slurred out.

“ i'm mad because instead of coming home at a decent time, you were getting drunk with your friends! I'm mad because instead if picking you son up from his aunt's house, like you promised, you where drunk with your friends!” you yelled at hoseok, this seemed to sober him right up. “Im sorry that i was having a good time with people i consider family. I'm sorry that i was having a great time with my family. The time got away from me, but tradition and it involves alcohol sometimes! I didn't mean to get this drunk!” he yelled back, his flushed with anger. You let out a mocking laugh “consider family… well news flash hoseok! We’re your family too. Remember us. Me , Y/N, your husband, and jae, your seven year old son. who, in fact, was crying for you, asking when you were going to be home!” and on cue, the small seven year old child walked out of his room. Tears streaming down his face, small hiccups coming from him. Reliation stuck both of them, m/c/n had heard every thing.

“jae, honey, what are you doing up?” you asked your crying son, kneeling next to him. “I...i was worried a...about  appa. I..i wanted to be waked when a..appa came home.” the child explained thought sobbes. Hoseok kneels next to you, almost falling do to the fact that his still drunk, and pulled his son in to a hug.

“ im sorry,my hope, i...i dont mean to be gone for so long time.”  Hoseok said trying his best not to slur in front of his son. “ hey, why don't we watch a movie in appa’s and daddy's room?” you asked, and jae ran in your room yelling ‘yaaay’. You stood up and , walked over to hoseok and helped him up. “ let's never fight again” you said looking at the man you loved “agreed” you both smiled at each other and headed to the room, with the seven year old waiting for the movie he was promised.

Namjoon

    You and Namjoon had been attempting to make something in the kitchen, he grumbled out the small printed directions as you put everything in order - you both had been scrambling around the kitchen like headless chickens when the stove top caught on fire, you yelled, alerting Namjoon as the stench of burnt green beans filled your now wrinkled nose, the small flames that had connected with the oven mitt you were wearing heated your already flushed face sweat dripping from your forehead as Namjoon came sprinting from the other side of the kitchen’s island, smacking the mitt from your hand and stomping on it, turning off the burner. And huffing leading you to the sink.

“Are you okay?” Namjoon’s deep, smooth voice rang into the air and hung there for a moment as you stared at your pink, slightly swollen hand that had water splashing on it, it was cool, cold, and refreshing to your skin - you nodded “yeah, but now we have a pot to replace, and a ruined burner to fix. And we’re behind on bills”

That’s right, after you and Namjoon tied the knot, and got married he chose to move in with you and leave the dorm, you two wanted privacy. Well as much as you could have with a six year old little ashton running around - but you were both happy, well at least, You thought it was.

Once Namjoon had moved in, your monthly rent had gone up another twenty so you were paying nearly more than what you earned at work. And you never said anything; you never uttered a word about it, never complained. You just came home from work, hung out and relaxed before making dinner and that was it - a great life. But for some reason the way Namjoon’s heart fluttering smile hit your eyes, the way his hand was holding yours so gently reminded you that nothing was as perfect as you wished, as the world appealed.

“It’s okay, we have the money it’s just a stove top burner and that’s just an old mitt babe” Namjoon spoke up happily uttering the same soothing “it’s okay” but it wasn’t okay, you didn’t have the money, you never did even if it was just about replacing a burner you didn’t have it. And so you said something your tone of voice on the other hand came out as a harsh hiss “no, it’s not okay!” you snapped and Namjoon raised an eyebrow stepping back a bit even your son, ashton looked up from his nintendo curious as to what was going on, but neither you or namjoon noticed, his response just as loud as yours but in a joking tone, thinking the whole raising your voice thing was you trying to make the situation light hearted. “What do you mean?” he asked through a soft laugh.

Your eyebrow twitched, was he not taking you seriously? Did he think your financial struggles were some joke? Your problems were his now too, his name had been added to the house’s ownership papers, claiming he was a resident of the location. You could easily take him off, add him back on later or something - you needed to cool off.

Your breathing quickened and your lips pursed slowly you moved away from him, attempting to walk away but he stopped you gingerly grasping your hand trying to slip his fingers between your own. “Where are you going, Y/N?” he asked, his upper lip creasing preparing a smile, his dimples began to sink his cheeks and you almost melted; no. you were a bit too stressed for his smiles and jokes right now, ripping your hand from his calm, friendly grip you gritted your teeth and spun on your heels your voice loud again “leave me the hell alone Namjoon i need a minute” all he did was hush you, his eyes averting to look at your son, Ashton who was too busy playing his game to register the yelling right away, let alone some curse word you had said.

“What’s wrong?” Namjoon muttered softly, following you to the room, “nothing” you replied simply sitting on the bed with a thud the weight then shifted when Namjoon sat down too glancing at you. “Leave me alone for now, please” you retorted quietly and he huffed furrowing his eyebrows the male was now concerned, “i’m not leaving this room, no. Not until you tell me what’s wrong”.

His persistence began to irritate you and you yelled once more this time, the taller male flinched.

“Get the fuck out!”

Namjoon’s lip twitched and his jaw set shaking his head he opened his mouth getting ready to say something when Ashton came into the room slowly, like his feet were wandering wrongly into the tense place; holding a white crumpled looking piece of paper, it had been flattened out as much as possible from the way it looks and in big bold letters it read

“RENT OVERDUE BY THREE MONTHS PLEASE SEND IN PAYMENT EVICTION NOTICE WARNING WILL BE POSTED AT 5:30 AM, MONDAY JULY 1ST IF NOTHING IS SENT IN”

Ashton handed the grim paper to Namjoon, you stared confused for a moment before the information synced in and you scrambled for the paper “i’m paying it off i swear little by little - “ namjoon cut you off shaking his head “you could have told me, that me moving in was a problem i would have figured something out” Namjoon then pulled out his phone typing in something and then pressing the phone to his ear and waiting for the line to connect you looked at him questioningly “what are you doing?” you asked as Ashton came to hug you “calling jin” Namjoon replied.

“I told you i’d figure something out, Y/n” Namjoon said quickly and you shook your head again “what? No, no! Don’t ask him for money”

“I’m only asking for fourty, i have money stashed away for personal things you know, plus i make my own money”

“But Namjoon” you mumbled

“No, i’m helping” Namjoon retorted and you scoffed, Namjoon then tried jin again when he finally answered they had a quick conversation about money and then said goodbye.

“Our rent will be paid tomorrow” namjoon said proudly and you laughed accepting the help he gave you with this, “okay.” you responded.

“I love you” Namjoon stated quietly leaning down and pressing his lips to your temple “i love you too” you responded with a smile.

[vijayonstuff]

Immortal

Thatha

Aug 12, 2012 Tears flow through my heart when I try to remember all our moments together, only to be wiped away with the comfort of knowing that you now live through me. You molded me every step of the way, into the man that I am today. To the man who taught me everything I needed to know about life, language, and mathematics… Cheers! And thanks for everything!

I received the news of my grandfather’s passing while I was in the crowd watching Justice end their live set at Outside Lands. I vividly remember the text and call from my aunt in India, and not knowing what to feel as I made my way out through the crowds in Golden Gate Park. I walked back home that night, all the way to my apartment in Hayes Valley, and went to bed to sleep off all that I got to sample at WineLands that day. It took me a mere 2 days then to process my grief and pen my feelings in a short Facebook Note afterwards.

As an atheist, I don’t have the luxury of comfort that many get from a belief in the afterlife. But, it was easy for me to come to terms with my grandfather’s mortality.

Although he was no longer with us, I knew that the idea of him would still live within us, and it would continue to leave an imprint on the world through our actions – the actions of those who have been touched by his kind, curious, and perfectly flawed soul.

Growing up, I had spent enough time with my grandfather to get to know his true essence. Yes, he was flawed. Yes, my grandmother, my parents, my uncles, my aunt, my sister and myself have each complained about him from time to time. Some of us even hold grudges towards him still to this day. But if you had spent just a little time with him, you would know that he always meant well.

Was he perfect? Far from it. Even the gods aren't. He was only human -- a mere mortal. And so are we, flawed mortals navigating an imperfect world.

I have come across many versions of the “three deaths”, but the one that struck me the most went something like the following:

Every man dies three deaths. Once when his biological self dies. Yet again, when the last person he knows dies. And lastly, his real death occurs when his name is uttered for the last time.

I found comfort in the knowledge that he was still alive and well in our collective memories.

Then this year, after enduring through his cancer diagnosis for over two years, my dad passed away on April 7th. And, I couldn't find peace in the same thought that had given me calm during my grandfather's demise.

Appa

April 9, 2021 We had been expecting this day for a while. Yet, when it finally came, it all felt so hurried. As the long night drew closer, I was growing worried, that after this last mile, I would never remember your smile. That my feelings will forever lay burried beneath our strained relationship, muddied. Will I only remember you as a cynic? Will I still be your harshest critic? Will I only lean on you, for what not to do? Will you fade away misunderstood? Like I was to you, no good.

I couldn't trust my memories to be a true reflection of the man he was. In the ~months~ years leading up to his death, he had become increasingly reclusive and distant from the rest of us -- or, at least from me. There were increasingly more negative interactions, both first and second-handed, than positive ones. And, even during the last month, when I got to spend more one on one time with him in Houston, there were more confrontations and disagreements than consensus and trust.

I had referred to him as "The Petulant Parent", "Imsai Arasan 24th Pulikesi", etc. albeit jokingly. I even got so frustrated at one point that I had settled on "In Service of Assholes" as the title for my non-existent autobiography. (Please save the Sir Mixalot jokes 😎)

Near the end, we had gotten into many arguments about our politics, and our ethics. We were almost polar opposites in how we viewed the world, and our headbuttings only became more frequent as we both knew we were running short on time to convince each other of our ways. I was worried I won't be left with any good memories to carry forward in life.

But all those worries faded away after he passed away.

I realized that though we were different, there was so much that we had in common -- From our unhealthy disregard for authority, to our unbounded curiosity and urge to understand how the world really works beneath the way it presents itself. We are both humble in certain aspects of our lives, and elitist smarter/holier-than-thou dickheads in others, though, there isn't much overlap between us in the things we were humble about and not.

And, where he was being difficult towards me, he pushed me to take a step back and gain a deeper understanding about what I'm doing wrong, or why I'm certain about being right.

That is the part I miss the most -- having to live up to the unattainable demands of a petulant parent. Watching him hold on to his convictions and view points, no matter how wrong they were, or seemed to be, had forced me to be aware of my own mistaken views of the world And if I have to be honest, that is the part that worries me the most -- that without his push, my life will become stagnant.

My grandfather taught me how to lead life with purpose, and to find purpose in service to others. But my dad imparted in me the importance of acting and doing, even when there isn't a clear purpose.

I hope I am lucky enough to always find purposeful avenues to express myself. But when I don't, I hope that I can follow my father's spirit and push through blindly.

All along until now, I was placing the utmost importance on the legacy I will be leaving behind. On how I will be remembered. How I could become immortal.

But his passing's biggest lesson has been this: Our legacies are the concerns of those who come after us, not ours. We may be wrong, but we should stake our position and act. Our time here is short. We're mortal.

I'm mortal.

Happy Father's Day!

[nithyanelson-blog]

I have got a story to tell!!!!

I have got a story to tell!!

I went for a trek recently and as usual uploaded the photos stories in WhatsApp and Insta. One of my best friends insisted me that I should write about the experience in detail since I went with zero company. I'm not so good with words or metaphors but here I'm trying to detail what I've experienced.

Usually, I have the habit of exaggerating everything. But when I decided to write about my trip, I wanted it to be damn honest and the way I experienced it and not for the usual Insta update.

For a long time, I was thinking of going on a solo trip and experience what actually it is. So when my colleague Keerthi who is an avid trekker told me about his experience, I got a spark that I should try this one. It took me around 5 months to convince myself that I will be able to make it and it took another 2 months to convince my paranoid mother why I wanted to do it.

After getting the blessings from Mommy Dearest, the date for the auspicious trek was finalised as Feb 3rd 2019. The plan was to reach Delhi by flight and train to Dehradun from Delhi. So I started to Delhi on 2nd Feb morning. Morning dawned as usual and I got ready as usual and boarded local train to airport as usual except the fact I'm carrying 60 litre bag. It was quite heavy and I still wonder why the hell I packed so much for a trek(First timer- you never know what you'll need :P) I left Singara Chennai with much love from two of my best friends Ani and Vaishu. To be honest, I didn't feel a thing till I landed in Delhi. The moment I got into the Delhi metro station alone, the feeling of doing something for the first time started to kick in. Now many of you think what's fuss about this going alone as if I'm going to Moon or other planet(I feel you guys!) but I'll tell you why. This is not something that happens in our household often. Even I go to Bangalore or any other place for office trips or any other trip for that matter, my mother make sure that I call her before, after and during the journey and book the safest mode of transport suggested by the company itself or being accompanied by a friend or colleague. I won't say that I have never travelled alone then it would be a big load of bull shit but this kind of trip and trek with bunch of strangers in no network area is not a usual one for us.

So I met two of my trekmates in the Delhi railway station and we started our journey together to Dehradun. Around 6:30 in the morning, I reached Dehradun and met the other trekmates who were waiting outside railway station. Then the introductions happened and a guy who looked not more than 20 came and introduced himself as my trek leader and he is Himanshu. Haha I was shocked. I had to check twice whether he was the trek leader for real. Then our journey to the village of Sankri began. Sankri is the base camp for our trek. It is around 180 kms from Dehradun. 10 of us got into tempo Traveller and started our journey to the base camp. On the way we had our dinner and lunch.

I still wonder why did I order Dosa in the pahadi restaurant. It was so worse all I wanted to do was to take a flight back to Chennai and have a Saravana Bhavan Dosa. And yeah I don't blame anybody. On the way I saw the glimpses of snow and Yamunotri ranges. Man I was damn excited for this trip!

At around 5, we reached our base camp and got settled in the rooms provided. I explored the village for some time and went to the temple and prayed without knowing who's the God🤦 Back in the camp, all the prerequisites for the trek(medical history, documents) were checked by our trek leader and he started the briefing for trek. We gave a brief introduction about ourselves and it reminded me of my college first day. Then I was so nervous but now it was so fun. I was smiling for no reason. 20 of trekmates came from different cities of India. One big gang from Bangalore, one couple from Mumbai to celebrate anniversary, one couple to celebrate honeymoon, one engaged couple, a father daughter duo from Kolkata, guys from Rajasthan, Mumbai. It was a mix of everything. Once the briefing was done, I went out to have my dinner and felt the first cruel chill of the trek. To be honest, I have never been in a place where the temperature is below 18° C. That too because this year we had actual winter in Chennai. So when you put me in the 4° C, obviously I would shiver and freeze. I was about to cry when I couldn't feel my hands. Himanshu smiled and said 'Hota hai hota hai'. Adeii!! All I wanted to do was to smack his face at the very moment. Then I grabbed the hot tea vessel and had some food for the growling stomach and retired to bed soon. I couldn't help imagining how I'm going to survive for the next 4 days. Truth to be told, I was excited for the trek and panicked for the cold. Somehow I was drawn into a dreamless sleep.

The next day I got up to the commanding voice of Himanshu. This time he wanted to check blood pressure at 6:30 in the morning. Phewww!! There gone my sleep with him. We got ready and had our breakfast and all set to go for the trek. On the first day we had to cross 2.5 kms. But believe me when I tell you it's not just 2.5 kms. When you ascend the mountain, you would feel it requires double or triple the energy to cross than the one guides have mentioned.

After getting the do's and dont's from Himanshu, we started our trek following the trail. We would have walked hardly for 500 m , then it was just snow. I came to know that this year the snowfall was very heavy and usually on this trek we get to see snow only on 3rd day but this time we got it 1st day itself. I was quite happy and excited and got into my usual jumpy mode to see the snow.

I had to pinch myself to make sure that I was not dreaming. I was walking on the 3 feet snow and all I could see was just snow. I played and played and played throughout the trail and fatigue started showing it's face before I could reach the 1st campsite. With much struggle and constant Chalo chalo echoes from the guides Sunil Bhai and Upi Bhai, I reached the camp.

It was such a mesmerizing sight! One side its a valley of snow and other side stood the glorious pine trees bathed in snow yet giving the majestic looks. We have got two local dogs to play with and it accompanied us to other camp sites as well. We played mafia, cards, some funny games for introductions and had a blast on the first day. It felt so very good to get rid of my inhibitions and be able to mingle with a group about whom I knew nothing of. Once the dinner done, some of us decided to go for star gazing and the argument, discussion about various topics during star gazing we had, are something that's gonna stay with me forever.

Second day dawned little cloudy and sun was not ready to come out and meet us. Today we had to cross 4-5 kms. There were three steep ascends in the trail and I was dreaded and excited as usual. But it was much better than I expected and was one of the firsts to reach base camp. On the way we had so much fun and as for me, 2nd day was the best. I sang the loudest on the way and threw snow at everyone I saw and we played with the fresh snow on the whole trail.

I stopped at so many places and wondered whether I'm in heaven. The moment I saw the frozen lake Juda ka thalaab, I fell in love almost immediately. How can everything be so pristine white like there is no hint of cruelty or bad vibes in it! Words fail me to describe the magnificence of the nature. No adjectives are enough to express the beauty of it. All I could do was to be in the moment and enjoyed it till lasts.

The same joyous mood stayed for the complete day. Even in the campsite, we played games but this time, on the snow. I was so carefree, and didn't have any worry about anything in the world. I made snowman(with huge help from Rahul), engaged in snow fight, played so many games. It was just merry making time for us.

After the two days of trek, I was confident that I could manage to reach the summit. So it was never a question of whether I could do or not.

Himanshu told that we would be starting at 5 in the morning for the summit. Around 11 pm, I woke up to the butterflies in my stomach. I thought it was the excitement and nervousness of climbing the peak. But later I found it was the butterflies of sickness. I threw up twice and Himanshu was called and he gave medicines and clearly told me that he wouldn't allow me for summit if my condition remains the same. So I prayed all the gods to keep me fit and healthy just for a day.

Around 3:30 am, we got the woke up call and we were welcomed with snowfall and bone breaking cold. I hoped that weather and my health get better before trek get started. An hour passed with the refreshments and nokjhoks. Weather got much better than me. I was feeling breathlessness for walking from my tent to dining area. Himanshu told me that I'm not going anywhere and asked me to take rest. After much pleading and him not wanting a debate in the morning, I started the trek. I took my father's muffler with me and keep on talking with it as if with my father. I keep on telling 'Appa epdiyadhu poidanum'. I pretty much managed half way then suddenly I started feeling nausea and was about to faint. I had to walk to a hut which was 100m away where I could take rest and start again but I couldn't even reach there. At that moment I realised I'm not gonna make it to summit and I failed. I informed my guides and Himanshu that I'm not coming and they can go ahead. I sat in the hut for 20 minutes feeling dejected and listening to a guide and other fellows who decided not to go to summit for various reasons. I listened and listened and suddenly I couldn't any more. I came out controlling my tears and looked at the majestic Kedarkantha peak for one last time and started to run to the base camp. Alone. Defeated. I blamed myself, my father, my health, Himanshu, anything and everything that came on my mind. And then I stopped and took a look around me. It was just snow and mountains looking at me. I sat there on the snow and started thinking why I failed. Then I realized I triumphed the moment I took the TT to Sankri with 10 odd strangers. It was never about the climbing the summit at 13000 ft. It was about me coming out of my comfort zone which I have drawn for myself. I still remember when I was roaming on the streets of Delhi, I gave a thought of going back to Chennai without even showing up in Dehradun. But I came to Sankri and for 3 days I was among the strangers doing things which I have never done in my life and lived my life like never before and survived -20° C. This is the success for me and this is what I wanted. If I climbed the summit, that would definitely been a cherry on the top but I can't sulk over it and not seeing the happiness and fulfillment I got every other minute over the past 3 days. I have never seen snow in my life but here I'm walking on the snow and couldn't see anything other than snow and beautiful ranges. Why would I worry for something which I can't control?? With determined mind, I started walking to the base camp. This time contented and happy. I danced, I sang, I laughed, I played, I talked with the mountains and I slid down the snow. Simply I lived in the moment and enjoyed the time. With the whole hearted happiness, I reached the base camp, gulped the medicines and waited for others to join. I heard the stories of people who climbed the summit and to my surprise I didn't regret the decision of coming down. We stayed in the pahad for two more days and enjoyed the bliss and started our way back to Dehradun bidding good byes to our guides, Himanshu and the black dog who accompanied me throughout the trek! Being emotional type that I'm, I shed two or three tears when Himanshu hugged and asked me to come back to finish the summit.

When coming back, all the memories of the last 5 days rushed in my mind and probably the precious memories of my life. I'm sure I will go back to see the mountains again. May be they wanted me to come again and that could be the reason for my sickness 😝 (When you're are so optimistic, you can say anything)

This 5 day trek was not just another vacation for me. It was the best time and there is a feeling of content and self realisation! I realised it's ok to give yourself a break and live the life a little at times!!

While we were on the trek, everyone had a story to tell. When they looked at me, I told them with much embarrassment that I don't have any story. Rahul cheered me up and said 'Now you have got a story'.

And yeah now I have got a story to tell everyone💛

[213hiphopworldnews]

Some Atlanta Hip-Hop Legends Who Could’ve Performed At The Super Bowl Instead Of Maroon 5

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With the football season kicking off last week, today the NFL announced that pop rock band Maroon 5 will perform the halftime show for 2019’s Super Bowl LIII in Atlanta. As in previous years, the announcement has spurred a wave of discontented outcry online, with the main argument against stemming from the fact that a city with as much musical history as Atlanta should be able to field a local act with as much broad spectrum appeal as Maroon 5.

Or maybe the mega-corporate ownership of the NFL could try to forego mass appeal for once? After all, one of the league’s biggest business partners just made a huge show of endorsing the current thorn in the league’s paw, Colin Kaepernick, after the NFL basically excommunicated and blackballed him through the 2017-2018 season. Now, Kap’s embroiled the league in a complaint for collusion to keep him off the field for his non-violent protest, so it’s likely the NFL could use a PR win and embrace the increasing diversity of the country that has largely rallied behind the former QB.

If the NFL did want to imitate the tremendous growth that rival leagues like the NBA have gained by embracing youth culture, it could do worse than signing on an Atlanta-based hip-hop act to project a progressive sense of cool over the once-stodgy proceedings of its biggest game of the year. While it’s probably already way too late for them to reconsider Maroon 5 — who are likely to bring out a bunch of progressive hip-hop acts of their own, judging from their most recent album, which featured Cardi B, Kendrick Lamar, and Future — in our idealized, fictional world, these are the rappers and singers who could carry the halftime show through sheer showmanship and a catalog of certified hits.

2 Chainz

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The artist formerly known as Tity Boi might not be the most logical selection to highlight at the Super Bowl halftime show given his relative lack of name recognition among the broader American public, but if you’re looking for an artist who can unite the modern trap scene especially, 2 Chainz is your dude. The man has a stacked rolodex and has worked with just about every major hip-hop talent on the planet, in both the ATL and beyond. Hell, who wouldn’t want to see him go toe-to-toe with Lil Wayne and Chance The Rapper for “No Problem,” or bring together Kanye and the GOOD Music crew for “Mercy,” or end Drake and Kendrick Lamar’s cold war with a reprise of “F*ckin’ Problems” along with ASAP Rocky? Wake up America!–Corbin Reiff

Ciara

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While Ciara’s career exploded in the early 2000s, she’s experienced a lull that’s plagued many artists transitioning from the traditional sales world to the new streaming era. However, after her short-lived romantic collab with fellow ATLien, Future, which resulted in the cult favorite “Body Party” and more recently, her new high-profile relationship with Seattle Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson has put her back in the spotlight in a big way. Who better to perform at the biggest football event of the year than someone with an intimate connection to the game?

As a diehard Seahawks fan, my ideal scenario is that Seattle be in the Super Bowl, and Ciara brings out her husband for a cute moment during the halftime show. Of course, her past with Future — one of Atlanta’s own — only makes the drama from that love triangle more suited to an enormous stage. Celeb relationships aside, though, CiCi’s got bangers from back in the day, and the ability to perform in front of an enormous crowd while singing, dancing, and entertaining. She’s the full package and it would be the perfect homecoming for her to return to the city where she got her start, and take the biggest stage of her career.—Caitlin White

Gucci Mane

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Trap music and Atlanta go together like football and catastrophic injuries, and the thought of a Super Bowl halftime show in Atlanta without a nod to trap boggles the mind. One of the best possible representatives for this would be Gucci Mane himself, one of the most prolific artists of our time, who lives and breathes the city. Plus, his past history of incarceration speaks to the issues that resonate so loudly with the NFL’s players and their commitment to social justice. Making an appearance on the largest stage in the world would complete a major personal renaissance that had Gucci fans first claiming the newly-freed and sober Gucci must be a clone, and now shaking their heads in wonder at his complete 180.–Philip Cosores

Future

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Who better to bring out in the middle of the biggest football game of the year than one of Atlanta’s most influential and prolific artists in the rap game? Future is quite literally living up to his name every single day, on every single project, spawning sound-alikes (hi, Desiigner) and dictating trends that spread all the way up to the highest echelons of pop and hip-hop. We know Future can handle an arena stage, as he’s been on tour with Drake, opening up for their Summer Sixteen tour all 2016.

While he may not have the star power to fill out slots that huge on his own — yet — presenting his music to what amounts to the large viewing audience of the year is far more likely to win him new fans than disappoint those still ignorant of his influence. Who could resist the tenderness of his early, fan-favorite “Turn On The Lights,” the feature-packed pull of “Move That Dope,” or the dizzying appeal of DS2’s raunchiest offerings? Plus, “Mask Off” is a bonafide hit at this point. And if Drake came out to perform a couple joint tracks off their collaborative album What A Time To Be Alive? That’s just the cherry on top. — C.W.

Ludacris

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Let’s do an exercise. For every Ludacris quote in this blurb, see if you can finish the line.

“When I move, you move…” “Move, b*tch…” “My chick bad, my chick hood…” “Get back, get back…” “When you get on the floor…”

Luda has more bonafide, crossover hits than almost anyone else from his city, and that’s saying a lot. Besides, he’s also got the energy, stage presence, and Southern charm to electrify the stage, as well as being even more recognizable across demographics for his roles in the colossal Fast And Furious action film franchise. The hyperaggression of his biggest Billboard smashes lends themselves well to the bone-crushing action of the big game, and he’s already worked with NFL properties before, contributing theme songs to both the NFL video game Madden 2000 and 2018’s Super Bowl LII alongside unlikely collaborator Carrie Underwood. Luda’s as ingrained in the NFL as pretty much any rapper, this one should have been a no-brainer.–Aaron Williams

Outkast

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Of all the artists on this list, none would make more real-world sense than Outkast. The reunion from the Atlanta hip-hop pioneers in 2014 saw them as major draws all over the world, and they’re the rare artist that appeals to both fans extremely embedded in rap culture and casual music fans who’ve undoubtedly heard “Hey Ya” and “Mrs. Jackson” while shopping at CVS. Plus, the fact that Andre 3000 and Big Boi have remained apart since their reunion run only would add to the “wow” factor of the booking. — P.C.

Run The Jewels

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The duo of Killer Mike and El-P has been a staple of the festival circuit since their inception as Run The Jewels a few years back, and that’s because the two-man dynamic and bombastic hip-hop makes for a terrific energy on stage, one that’s matched by few. More so than many other rap acts, they appeal to a crowd outside of the genre, a quality that is useful to have when you’re performing in front of a global audience of millions. It also doesn’t hurt that football fans have probably already heard RTJ before: The title track from their self-titled debut album was previously featured in a commercial for ESPN’s first-ever NFL Playoffs broadcast in 2015.

Getting big-time surprise guests also goes over well for a Super Bowl halftime performance, and there are a ton of possibilities on this front with Run The Jewels. Both Mike and El-P are music industry veterans, and Killer Mike alone has collaborated with Outkast, Three 6 Mafia, T.I., Gucci Mane, Jay-Z, and so many others. Some of those might be stretches, much like a lot of artists mentioned in this fun thought exercise, but there’s no denying that, while Run The Jewels might not resonate with the whole world in the way the NFL is looking for or even want to do it, they’d put on a hell of a performance.–Derrick Rossignol

T.I.

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T.I. is a long way off from his chart-topping peak on 2008’s Paper Trail, but given some of the acts the Super Bowl has dug up past their respective primes, that could hardly be counted as a mark against him. If anything, the time apart from chart ubiquity has lent hits like “Dead And Gone” (with the last Super Bowl halftime performer, Justin Timberlake, in tow), “Whatever You Like,” and “Live Your Life” — with massive international superstar Rihanna — plenty of time to cultivate a gilded veneer of nostalgia, becoming even bigger hits in our respective cultural memory.

Just imagine the stadium’s response to the surprise appearance of Rihanna from beneath the stage or catwalk-strutting triumphantly out of the locker. Imagine how amped your living room party becomes when that first refrain of “No one on the corner has swagger like us” booms out of the sound bar and Kanye or Jay-Z or Lil Wayne or all three join T.I. onstage for the first time since the 2009 Grammy Awards and they proceed to tear down that football field. Even the biggest rap hater in the audience would be stunned to find out that one of Paul Rudd’s sidekicks from Ant Man can put on one hell of a show.–A.W.

Usher

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There was a time that 2018’s Super Bowl halftime performer, Justin Timberlake, was compared almost incessantly to Usher, as both were perceived as heirs apparent to Michael Jackson’s pop-R&B throne. Both borrowed vocal cues, dance steps, and aspects of their meticulously cultivated public personas from the King Of Pop, starting out as child stars and rising to the heights of stardom practically in tandem with one another. The only difference is that Justin was marketed using the “pop” side of the musical formula, as Usher was relegated to the less prestigious “R&B” one. Giving Usher the stage for Super Bowl LIII would provide not only one more basis of comparison, it would also give an entire audience who never got to see prime Usher an opportunity to enjoy the yin to Justin Timberlake’s yang and witness firsthand why so many people felt he held the edge all along.

With hits like “Caught Up,” “Yeah!” “DJ Got Us Falling In Love,” “U Don’t Have To Call,” and “My Way” in his bag of tricks, Usher could certainly dispel any concerns that R&B is too sleepy a genre to turn up and thrill the crowd at a sporting event, while his powerhouse vocals are still strong enough to satisfy any skeptic of his talent. If the NFL still considers straightforward hip-hop too scary for its intended audience, Usher would make a nice compromise.—A.W.

source https://uproxx.com/hiphop/super-bowl-liii-atlanta-rap-legends-halftime-show/