#so ofc little things that shouldnt matter (even if it means a lot to me) keep like. hurting me.

[storm-of-feathers]

fjfhsjsb

[bonesandthebees]

thoughts and questions that didnt get in my comments bc I needed to let them bounce around my brain for a bit 2/2?

okay so wilburs breakdown scene and going from "the pythia" to "he" to "wilbur" even for just a moment, we're all freaking out about bc JDHSHDBDBD OBVIOUSLY HE WAS REFERED TO AS WILBUR and everyone talked about it a lot

but I would like to point out how this scene foreshadowes how this whole healing process is probably going to look like

the whole thing was triggered by techno pressuring wil and putting him in an uncomfortable position and going against him, to which is not the right thing to do, but in this situation the way to get forward

than comes the part where HE TAKES OFF HIS BLINDFOLD AND IS IN THE CAVES IN COMPLETE DARKNESS and it goes from "the pythia" to "he" bc first he has to get rid of all the brainwashing, dehumanisation and just what they made him into to be the pythia, including wearing the blindfold, before he can even start to try and find himself, the "wilbur" part

ofc he returned right back to being "the pythia", but thats just how progress and healing works, its not linear and you keep going forward only to go right back

it's not pretty and it's not enjoyable and wilbur is going to have a really bad time, but hopefully it's going to be worth it later down the line

and we can only hope that tommy will be there in the future to offer some comfort, just like he did now

a little detail that I noticed and would really like to point out is how whenever talking about his role as pythia wilbur keeps using the same words/phrases and i think it was even mentioned in the chapter that hes basically repeating previous pythias words and i would just like to say how cool and thought out that is, the brainwashing is written so well to the details and it makes me want to scream, you are absolutely amazing and I love your writing so much

i am absolutely obsessed with tagd!crimeboys (or honestly just crimeboys in your fics in general, every time they are very different yet so fatally same)

how they are getting touchy after wilbur basically admitted hes touch starved, the unfounded trust that shouldnt exist, but is there, the way they care about each other and tbh even the dependence and attachment that is there (especially from wilburs side considering tommy is almost his only "friend" in all this)

also jack and niki, theyre everything to me and im so glad you have them in so many of your fics theyre consistently my favourite characters and I love them so much

you dont get them in fics very often especially not this full fledged which is a shame bc theyre very cool and im so happy you give them such big roles

thats all I got for now, hope youre having a good time

:))) I love reading analysis of the cave 'wilbur' scene it was so fun for me to write. i loved the transition from 'pythia' to just using pronouns to calling him 'wilbur' just once

also yes healing is not linear. it's messy and you can take steps back and jump forward before falling back again. this was a step forward, and then of course a step went back but it still mattered. it's definitely going to be worth it later down the line though i promise :)

aaa thank you i'm also so obsessed with glass!crimeboys they mean SO much to me. they're such a messy and (future) codependent iteration of crimeboys (all c!crimeboys are codependent it's just like. especially obvious in glass lol)

i LOVED c!jack and c!niki on the dsmp, so I love including them in my fics and giving them main side roles. they're both so fun for me to write and i love their dynamics with crimeboys. i love love love writing jack's dialogue because he's so funny, and i adore niki as a character because of how complex she is (jack ofc is complex too but i just really adore niki)

tysm for this so glad you're enjoying!!

[qyu-inactive]

MY THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS ABOUT OUTTAKES 16-18.5 BECAUSE I HAVE SO MANY

We have been blessed with 3.5 glorious new parts to the wonderful Losty Aone/ Mountain Man Series by the wonderful, amazing, awe-inspiring @shhhlikeme and i am emotional and have many many feelings about it all.

Outtake 16 

I love that we got to see this from the reeader’s point of view, it was nice to see our losty y/n and see how their feeling. It was a nice break from feeling sad about Aone’s broken heart.

This part made me laugh ahaha

After dating and breaking up with him, Aone had females constantly approaching him. A/N: Not constantly but it felt that way for you ofc lol

the jealously😂, the Author’s note too like “it wasnt like that at all” 😂 this emotional person (y/n) is just  blowing up the situation. 

and then this:

In other words: They want what you had. 

i mean of course they would, Aone is the sweetest boy but only to someone he loves. Aone’s heart is too strong to let waver to someone knew so quick

This whole outtake all i could think about was that Y/n really needs to get back with her mountain man, first they want to break up so Aone finds someone new but then doesnt want him to find someone new. Like cleary y/n is not being honest with herself or Aone. 

When they went to the library, ahhh y/n really just imagining the worst scnenarios in their head😂

“Oh,” your stomach flipped. “He looks so cute.” You put on a 🥺 face when you noticed how utterly adorable a standing Takanobu looked

🥺🥺🥺 Aone is always such a cutie, and y/n really broke this man’s heart😭 I know it was insecurites but still. These two are so in love but just wont get back together. 

The outfit y/n is wearing😍 you always pick these really cute and sexy outfits and I appreciate y/ns confidence and style but it is not me 😂😂 but Aone thirsting over his girl tho, i would dress up like that if it meant getting looked by Aone like that 😂

I love Aone’s plan, like he is such a sweetheart and he’s making me all soft at all his effort to win his girl back🥺🥺

This outtake really gave up all the feels y/n is feeling with breaking up with Aone and I am enjoing it 😂. At the same time though I just want these to love birds to get back together ahhhhh. 

One of the things I really love about this story is how strong the friendship is and how we see the outside characters really show how much they care. A lot of stories (like shojou, oh man you dont know how much shoujo manga ive read haha) just sideline their friends after the start talking to their love interest or they dont even have friends at all in the whole story. I really enjoyed seeing Katana be a voice of reason in our losty’s life. And of course the K_nji’s being our boy Aone’s best friends. 

Outtake 17

okay we starting with the real friends the K_nji’s warning our boy Aone about the situation. I love them and how much they care 😂. They can be dumbasses but still, I appreciate their effort. 

The University—our University— sent her a uniform that’s a size or two too small.

Does this mean they’re going to the same university? or am I reading too much into it? It might have been mentioned before but I cant remember off the top of my head. Also Aone really living his best life and his worst life rn 😂😂  like he gets to see his girl in a super tight cheer leading uniform and spend one on one time with her but he cant do anything about his desires. His confidence tho haha  “I’ve seen Y/N in a cheerleading uniform before” not like this you havent😏 

Aone Takanobu can truly say—if he could speak—that he will never even question Futakuchi again.

Again I just really love their friendship, parts like this really get me 😂😂😂

When y/n took out Aone’s jacket automatically🥺🥺 my hearttttt, and how long Aone’s jacket is on them🥺🥺 this whole part made me so softtt. Like imagine wearing his jacket🥺🥺 it would be so comfy and warm. 

There are so many golden lines I loved from this part, but Aone’s spank bank is just a phrase I wasnt expectng to read but it is gold. Im sure his bank is full and loaded😂

Then some random gross guy comes up to y/n, like the audacity of this guy.

He had such a disgusting grin on his face

🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮 this guy can back offfff. 

I really love when Aone comes in to protect the reader🥺🥺 he’s not the iron wall for nothing too. 

Your knight has arrived. Your ex-knight. ☹️

and then you go and hurt me again😭😭

I really wanted Aone to just kick a dude in the chest, like step the fuck off 😂😂. 

“Take one more step toward her.” Aone growled in the smoothest voice.

“I dare you.” Aone added, for good measure.

Im absolutely swooning, Aoneeeeee🥺🥺🥺. And the fact that he wanted the reader to come with him so she wouldnt get anyone bothering her😭😭 he’s such a gentlemen. No one bothers Aone’s girl whose not his girl at the moment, especially guys who arent wanted

now onto the fun part of this outtake😏 I wasn’t expecting to see texts but it was definitely a nice addtion!! Our poor Aone soo horny and sweet, I dont know if the dead squirrels worked hahaha. 

but he couldn’t help but wonder how he was going to edit all of this together in the time frame he promised he would with only one hand.

this went over my head when i read it the first time omg😂😂😂 Im sure Aone can do it, he’s a very capable man. This whole section had me laughing but also feeling slightly bad for Aone, again his poor horny heart right now is conflicted but very much fed. Im glad he was able to get a break, I dont think his length could wait (im not used to using subtle language hahaha) anyway this whole part was fun to read. 

Aone bit his juicy bottom lip,

I legit bit my lip just before reading this part😂

Outtake 18 & 18.5

Now we’re hitting the climax!! (after Aone just hit his climax and is about to hit again😗)

—who imo really should return to their own homes now but would rather not—

I mean do these two even have their own homes anymore😂, theyre basically apart of the Aone family now. Family who also understand when to leave their horny pal alone for time being. 

OKAY ONTO THE IMPORTANT PART!!! AHHHHHHHH. 

“Aone-senpai, do you even have snapchat?!”

“Obviously not.” Kenji answered for his friend, being snappy.

“WELL HE SHOULD GET IT BECAUSE I SAW—“

Did Kanji see Y/N and Takeru?????? I also cant believe I learnt Takeru was a third year from this series, I always thought he was a second year for some reason. I think cos he was ennoshita’s rival. not important rn lmao

“—because Aone-senpai is jacking off again. It makes you feel lighter, and happier—so that’s why,”

this boy, there are some things you just shouldnt say out loud. Some things can be left unsaid (not like im blunt with my friends sometimes haha but still) 

When Kenji had found out about why y/n dumped Aone😭😭😭😭 I’m glad he found out earlier then Aone, I wouldnt have wanted him to yell at the reader again.

Anyone that can do that, be so selfless—is good enough for his best friend.

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

“I can tell its her because that’s your sweater she’s wearing. Right? It says Takanobu on the back, and I remember seeing Y/N steal it out of your bag after practice once.”

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺these parts really just made me soft. like the fact that y/n still had the jacket and wanted to wear it out. and the absolute coincedence that they were in the same cinema as Aone. 

“Y/N.—Sh-She-She is wearing my attire. What does that mean?”

Yeah, big guy.

Yeah, you have a chance.

Y/N still has a little….tiny bit of feelings for you

YES YES YES FINALLY , I wanted to cry here😭😭 AND THEN KENJI CONFIRMED IT ALL AND AONE THE MAN WENT AND TRIED TO GET HIS GIRL. THIS REALLY IS THE DRAMATIC PART IN THE MOVIE. AND THEN THIS [redacted] TAKERU CAME AND AHHHHH 

(Aone would know that face, he only saw it everyday he’s looked in the mirror for the past 3 years)

Absolutely dead. All hope—gone.

You make me happy and then just rip out my heart like 2 minutes later. I was going from crying happy tears to sad tears in like a heartbeat. 

ALSO YOU DONT KNOW HOW UPSET I WAS WHEN I GOT TO THE END OF PART 18 I DIDNT REALISE THERE WAS 18.5 AND WAS AFRAID THAT THIS WAS IT AHHHHHH. I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO PLAY WITH MY FEELINGS THEN JUST LEAVE. 

“I’m worried about you.” She finished, looking more serious than you’ve ever seen her.

y/n really has some good friends with her🥺

uhhh then Takeru comes in, I dont really hate him but no one stands in between our losties love, they deserve each other and no one can stand between them. 

“But, tonight, if you need a shoulder to cry on, I’m just one theatre over… Okay? I have a pretty comfortable shoulder, so just text me.”

Okay this was pretty nice of Takeru, like cheesy but at least he cares and isnt staring at y/n like a peace of meat he wants to devour...

You sent it. Received a response within seconds saying he was on his way.

This boy, hes got a good heart but this isn’t your story bud, im sorry.

There! Kenji-san and Koganagewa-san, two males who were looking at you and Takeru as if you two were the villains in the movie that just popped out of the screen.

if this doesnt go well these two seem like they’re going to fight y/n outside the cinema😭😂 I couldnt imagine getting death stares from the K_njis especially after hurting Aone basically twice now.

Finding HIM was all that mattered.

OKAY THIS WHOLE PART, LIKE YES GO GET YOUR MAN PLEASE. LIKE Y/N CANT JUST LEAVE THIS RIGHT HERE LIKE THIS. 

white hair visible only because his head was down, forehead kissing the steering wheel, his shoulders vibrating slightly because he is crying. It’s him.

I cant take anymore sad Aone😭😭 He needs the biggest hug and his girl to be his girl again. He has gone through so much.

“Kenji-san, please leave me—““Not Justin Bieber look-alike!”

I cant with the Justin Bieber look-alike. 😂😂

Im just going to talk about my feelings for this part, but the whole confesson. I felt like crying, i feel like crying now reading it😭 it was just so beautiful. Like y/n explaing everything and saying Aone is the only man she’ll ever love. Throughout the series we really go to understand Aone’s feelings so deeply and how passionate he is but we didnt really get to see how y/n felt as much so reading this made me happy for Aone for the fact that his girl loves him as much as he loves her. They really were lost for each other, lost with out each other, but together they were 

Found.

okay maybe im tearing up now😭😭

One more marathon to go and our happy couple can live happily. The fact that this story is nearly over is a little sad but I’m happy our losties found each other. Im thinking since the next parts will be the last I’ll talk about overall themes I liked and my favourite moments as well. 

[bunny-banana]

For the director's cut thing, the story where Fabri asks Ermal out on a date but Ermal doesn't realize that? 👀

YO SO WE GONNA DO THAT OR WHAT

Its this fic btw if anyones curious.  

Chap 1

Even with closed eyes, he sensed the man lying next to him turn towards him but Fabrizio did not spoke immediately. No, he just stayed silent for a bit, Ermal wasn’t quite sure what he was observing but before Ermal could ask, Fabrizio broke the silence.

its u. he’s gazing at u, u idiot.

*

*

’You didn’t exactly give off the vibe that you’d say yes’

“What the fuck does that even mean? I don’t give off the vibe?!”

mr no-homo meta has NO right to be surprised at that. boy went into a panic attack every time someone as much as breathed the suggestion ofc fab was Anxious

*

*

A certain Roman showing up at his doorstep looking like he’d belong to the Milan Fashion Week.A tight grey shirt whose top three buttons almost begged to be opened (yet remained miraculously, in Fabris case, closed!) clung nicely to the body underneath it. A very fine silver chain hung around his neck that perfectly fit with the rings and the watch on his hand.Instead of ripped denim, now tight & shiny dark jeans were worn and to round this look up, an impeccably tailored black, suit jacket was thrown over him.

so not to be Hoe on main but we all just love Sexy Fab.  but more so, i really thought Fabrizio would have put a lot of effort into dressing nicely this time around. Probably called a few friends, crying to help him. He just wanted Ermal to like his look. Which he did.   A lot.  again, outstanding heterosexual of the year, ermal meta is completely mesmerised by that look.

*

*

“Well, well, Fab. Gotta say, this place is on a whole different level“ The curly haired man commented as he flipped through the menu.“You like it?”“How could I not?”

again, Fabrizio intentionally looking up a fancy place for their Date, something he actually felt a little bit uncomfortable about himself and wouldnt normally chose for himself. But then again, he was greatly relieved when Ermal actually did say he liked it.

*

*It felt.. nice. The whole evening was quite nice, Ermal had to admit, even with the unusual ambient.

Ermal is just honestly iconic in this fic. man enjoys fabrizios appearance, enjoys talking with him,  eating out with him, just spending time with him in general sooo much……and yet.

*

*

Fabrizio tilted his head and was it the candle light or something else, but a intriguing shine filled his eyes.“I’d know something sweeter than this.” In the next moment, everything turned upside down when Fabrizio suddenly took his hand and intertwined their fingers, his thumb gently brushing over the back of the younger man’s hand.

THE COURAGE THIS TOOK. THE NERVES WHICH WERE WRECKED.  Fab really just went “ok here we go balls to the wall now or never”

*

*

Chap2

“So, Fabrizio….Fabrizio likes me. Apparently.” It felt interesting to say it out loud. Ermal got a tingly feeling at the thought. So ..it was him who made Fabrizio blush earlier? Who made him nervous? And smiley?  Christ, he actually really wanted Ermal to like his outfit, didn’t he? A small smirk found its way on Ermal’s face. Who would have thought that he’d have Fabrizio Moro of all people wrapped around his finger.

erm: so im het

also erm: wow i really really like the fact that fabrizio is into me. its actually super exciting. kinda makes me happy in a way.

*

*

“Wait, what?! I should ask him out?!”“Yeah? Isn’t that something you want?”Is that something he- But that would imply that he’d want to pursue Fabrizio, his very male, masculine, manly friend Fabrizio who was definitely not by any chance a woman. To have a relationship with guy that was …..romantic… and oh sweet Mother of God, sexual?!“I- I- I don’t know.”

so yeah, to get to the bottom of this, when you’re in the process of realising your own …..non-heterosexuality, its just A Lot to take in.  I thought, realistically, that would just be a bit too much for Ermal to take in at that moment. He had to process the mere thought of “yes, you could have a romantic relationship with this guy, since he’s into you. Its absolutely a possibility”. When you’re conditioned to think “i can only ever date people of the opposite sex” all your life, it takes a bit of time to get accustomed to new possibilities.

And then theres the sexual aspect which is like, on Jupiter, for Ermal’s current state of mind.

*

*

Chap3

The video he currently was immersed in showed a slow-mo fight between a mongoose and a cobra that in all its intensity outdid any action movie in a heartbeat.

i remember watching that vid before writing that chapter and being mesmerised by it. u fucking go lil mongoose!

*

*

[Bizio]: sorry i cant this weekend

First, i just love the thought of him being saved as Bizio on Ermals phone. Second, the reason why he replied so late was because he was wrecking his mind about it. Should he go? should he not? god, the thought of seeing ermal excited him and yet scared him. nonononno. he’s trying to get Over Ermal. He needs space. he is not ready yet.

*

*

[Ermal]:Fabri!! Heard you’re coming up North! 😁 I have this excellent bottle of wine that a fan gave me the other day (don’t ask) so how about we open it at my place? I know you love a good wine 😉🍷

He couldn’t even slide the phone back into his pocket before it started buzzing. Surprisingly, the reply came almost instantly this time.[Bizio]:sorry no the schedule is pretty tight for me at the moment i dont think ill have much time in milan

i just image him getting the weirdest fucking fan gifts. also lmao the lightning speed with which fab replied. homeboy saw that wine would be involved and imemdiately thought “nononononono. worst case, my drunk ass might kiss him, god forbid. we are absolutely not gonna do that”

*

*

[Ermal]:So I’m flipping through the channels at home and there comes a baking show and I wouldn’t normally stop to watch but you know what they’re baking? Those creamy pastry things we had in Lisbon!

Now the idea about the Pasteis de Nata stemms from a real life event! During ESC 2018 i slept at a friends house and since the contest was held in Portugal we decided to cook something portuguese. Thats what we did. They fucking slap. Also, one of the best weekends ive ever had

*

*

However, this is how things continued as to all of Ermal’s messages, he’d receive rather uncharacteristically short replies. When he sent him photos he’d often not reply at all and even when he called Fabri didn’t pick.

Okay we have to image in WHAT kinda mental state Fabrizio is in that time. Boy is EMBARASSED to death. Then obviously, he is trying his hardest to get rid of this crush.  So he just isnt talking to Ermal at all. Which in turn makes him lonely and sad.  So then Ermal shoots him a message, sends him a picture and Fabrizio is immediately head over heels again. Which he shouldnt be. Bad Fabri. And the circle repeats itself.

*

*

Fabrizio who smiled sweetly at the host, who hugged her tightly, who joked with her and oh, whose eyes didn’t stick to her face but wandered more and more south.

Dude honestly, Fab was not flirting with anyone. He was just being nice as he usually is. And we all know he a lil bit sleazy so yeah, he might have looked down once or twice. but he really was not flirting. It was just Ermals affection-deprived mind going berserk.

Also that was the first time Ermal witnessed Fabrizio being affectionate with someone else. And the contrast to that cold shoulder he received was just the last straw for him.

*

*

“Why is he all smiley and lovey-dovey with her while he treats me as if I’m a war criminal?!” Ermal shouted the second the other line got picked up.“Uhm, hello? Maybe a ‘Good morning’ first of all? A simple ‘how are you doing, Sabina?’ would have been appreciated too.”

Damn bitch can ya greet ur sister first before going off smh

*

*

And would it have been really that bad if Ermal had just held on to his hand? Let Fabrizio gently stroke him with his thumb, maybe even squeeze back while Ermal’s finger draws circles over letters that covered the older man’s knuckles.It would have been nice and Ermal would have liked it.

I think he just needed to see what he was missing out to realise what he really has always wanted. If things were to go back to normal, he would have never made any realisations.

*

*

“Am I- Do I like Fabrizio?”

No, we dont ask what he is. Because thats for another time, a calmer time. Or maybe not at all. He doesnt know the answer to that question and its not important right now. All he knows is that despite it all, he likes Fabrizio.

*

*

The fact he was a guy was new, but those feelings involved weren’t.

I feel like this is just a very bisexual experience. At least to me it was. Its very confusing when u are genuinely attracted to the opposite sex, so you make the conclusion: you are obviously straight. Its not possibly that you are not-straight.  

Then u start feeling attraction to someone of ur own gender and its like “hmmm. Obviously this must be fake since we have established that Im genuinely attracted to the opposite sex ”

But the thing is..it aint going away. And then u think how you’d perhaps be down for sex, and perhaps be down for something more, and perhaps do all those nice things you would be doing with someone of the opposite sex.  

So yeah, its ..its really confusing and complicated to figure it out. And if you actually do have a feelings for someone it only makes matters more complicated ig

*

*

“Jesus, I really do like him. Me. Liking a guy.”

Again, once u made That Realisation, its just the WILDEST thing in the beginning. a complete NEW concept being applied to yourself.

*

*

“LISTEN CUT THE BULLSHIT I KNOW EXACTLY THAT YOU’RE HOME! OPEN UP OR I WILL STAND HERE ALL NIGHT I’M NOT FUCKING AROUND!” In addition to the knocking he now also started ringing the doorbell. He sure as hell wouldn’t move here until that door wasn’t opened.“I DONT GIVE A FUCK, I WON’T EVEN SLEEP AND NEITHER WILL YOU. I CAN GO ON FOREVER YOU HEAR ME, FABRIZIO MOBRICI?!”

Ermal is just unhinged in all my fics.

*

*

Epilogue

[Ermal💛]: You ready?

Fabrizio added that heart right immediately after Ermal left his house a week prior.

*

*

Ermal looked….cuddly.

So yeah we all know Fab isnt the keenest on fashion and shit. And i just though Ermal would want him to be as comfortable as possible on their date, so he was like “ay come casual” . and also, its sort of cute that Ermal lets Fabri see him so casual too, its sort of more private in that sense.

*

*

And those were still the mild surprises, let’s not start with the downright shock he felt when his brain started providing words like kissable, attractive, sexy and hot during lonelier nights.

i have a fic for those kinda nights too

*

*

“It’s not that far and God knows men your age need the exercise anyway.”

ermal just cant show affection like a normal person, he has to roast u even when he’s madly in love with u

*

*

What followed behind the colourful door was a small chaos. Literally. People constantly coming and going, with buzzing voices chatting in every corner. They made their way half through the rather crowded establishment, got greeted by a waiter who rushed past them, before they finally spotted a couple leaving, liberating two chairs for them.

SO YEAH. the restaurant. it is loosely based on a place here in Vienna. Its pakistani food too, its a buffet, its kinda chaotic like described in the fic. also u can pay as much as u want.

i just thought, yknow, its home made cooking and its kinda relaxed and chill and casual and has a certain liberal flair to it. and i thought yeah that has fabri energy we gonna use that. also their mango rice puddings fucking slap

*

*

Languages were not his forte, those belonged to Ermal, but Fabrizio ran through his options. It surely wasn’t French or Spanish, that he would at least recognise. German looked different too; they had those dots over their U’s and those curly B’s which allegedly weren’t B’s at all. Swedish? Danish? No. He’s been to Ikea often enough to know that his wardrobe wouldn’t be called Qershor. And Russian had different letters but maybe it was something similar to Russian?

Okay, so I’m a known Slut for Languages.  Fabrizio is not. I can pretty much recognise most European languages in written form at some point in a text. Fabrizio can not. Therefore writing this from the perspective of someone who really isnt into languages was kind of interesting and a bit challenging. I was just thinking ‘how would he recognise them when he isnt into them?’  And i think, in the end, i did it realistically.

*

*

“Is it like..Serbian? Croatian? Or something?” He mumbled while putting a piece of eggplant in his mouth but quickly realised the answer when Ermal almost spit out his water from laughing.“No, definitely not. I can guarantee you, it’s very much not Serbian or Croatian ‘or something’.” Ermal chuckled with a bright smile, obviously enjoying their little guessing game. “But you’re close. In a way.”

This is SO embarrassing but this whole language guessing game was just a setup to an inside joke I have with myself.  So, for those who don’t know, I speak Serbo-Croatian. And I study Slavic studies. The first things they tell you in the first lesson of the Slavic Linguistics course is “Please, for the love of God, PLEASE, dont say Albanian/Hungarian/Romanian is a slavic language”. Apparently many europeans assume these languages are because theyre surrounded by slavic countries. BUT TO AN ACTUAL SLAVIC NATIVE SPEAKER, the difference is immediately obvious and so its quite comical when people assume theyre related languages.   So i thought the reverse would be kinda funny to Ermal too.

*

*

“I can be anything the teacher wants me to be. A good student, a naughty student, whatever floats his boat…” He asked sultrily before winking at the man across of him whose higher brain functions seemed to have ceased at once and just gaped at him like a fish.

boys whole brain got fried when the sexiest man in italy started flirting with him. issokay, he was just shocked. fabrizio has never been flirty with him before, he’ll get used to it.

*

*

“I was just trying to give you the best date that I could.“At those words, the Roman frowned however."Wait, this was a date?!”

im just an asshole honestly

*

*

They giggled as they finally closed the gap between them going for a slow and deep kiss.

i just love them being all SOFT and in LOVE

*

*

“Erm, I- I have an instore tomorrow, I better be well rested.”His counterpart just huffed and raised an eyebrow.“So were you planning on staying up all night, huh?”

Fabs horn dog brain definitively went HmmmmMmm this is nice:) ..could get even nicer:)  but no fuck, i have work to do tomorrow

*

*

“Love how you immediately forget about a good night’s sleep once you have a tongue in your mouth.”“Fuck off.”

He just got carried away as if u were complaining ermal smh

*

*

"I bet on everything I have that your password is 'liberoanita1’ so yes, I actually can.”

Parents culture is just using ur children’s names as all your passwords and we all know Fabri is that kinda parent.

*

*

All in All, i also wanna talk about how the epilogue mirrors the first chapter, but in a more successful light.

Fabrizio dresses for Ermal - Ermal dresses for Fabrizio

fancy place - more casual place

They take the car - they walk

Fabrizio takes Ermals hand on the open for everyone to see - Ermal takes Fabrizios hand under the table, in private

They eat their dessert seperately - they eat theri dessert together

they fall out - they become closer, kiss

they dont talk - they plan the next date

anyway thanks for reading and thank uuuuuu for this ask julchen

[stevethehairington]

so like what about a gallavich fic that's like very very loosely inspired by baby driver? (and when I say very loosely I mean very loosely lol)

like, ian works at this diner, and one night mickey comes in really late at night, and he just sits alone at the counter and orders a coffee, drinks it black, doesn't say anything except his order. ian isnt the one who serves him this first time, but he notices him. and so of course, he notices when mickey returns a few nights later. and then it becomes a constant thing, mickey showing up in the diner. he always looks kind of haggard and tired, but also amped up, like he's a little paranoid of something maybe. ian takes his order the second time he's there and from then on out he always makes sure he's the one serving mickey. ian always tries to make conversation with mickey, but mickey isn't very receptive and doesnt do much more than grunt or give terse, one worded answers. occasionally he'll snap at ian to shut up or back off- he doesnt like the prying. hes never been one to share much about himself with others, especially strangers, and he doesnt get why some waiter is so interested in his life. one time, ian steps outside to take a smoke break and mickey confronts him about the questions (this happens after a night where ians being particularly chatty, maybe he asks a few questions that hit too close to home) and so mickey follows him outside and he's just like "the fuck's with the 20 questions in there, huh? you workin' for someone? someone pay you to ask me that shit?" and ians like "woah, hey no. no one's paying me, what the fuck. im just trying to be friendly, you seem... you seem lonely. and sad." or smth like that and that hits too close to home too and mickey gets defensive and maybe he like throws the first punch or something and they get into a scuffle, and when the fighting dies down they're like maybe slumped against the wall of the diner or smth and and mickeys like "i dont need friends" or smth like that and ians just like "okay" and then mickey leaves or whatever. but he still comes back again, and ian still serves him but there's some sort of mutual understanding now. ian still tries to talk, and this time mickey talks back a little. they begin to befriend each other.

outside of the diner, mickey is definitely involved in the criminal sphere. he works for this guy with this group of people and they rob banks and shit or smth and he can either be part of the team that does the robbing or he can be the getaway driver, doesnt really matter which, but he's involved with this, but ian doesnt know that ofc. though, the closer they get the more he becomes clued in that mickeys part of something not so good.

one day mickey comes into the diner and hes even twitchier than usual and he keeps looking over his shoulder (which has a lot to do w the fact that he decided hes done doing this shit and wants out and his boss isnt so thrilled w that) and ian comes over with his coffee and pours it out and mickey stares into the cup for a second then looks up at ian and goes "let's run away. let's fuckin run away" and ians like "what?" and mickeys like "yeah cmon let's do it, lets get the fuck outta here and let's not look back. you're always saying you wanna leave, so let's do it" and it takes a minute for ian to properly digest it but then a slow smiles spreading over his face and hes like "shit, yeah, okay let's do it"

and so they plan to split to get the shit they need and meet back at the diner later and theyll get into mickeys car and they'll hit the road and just drive away.

and so. this is where it gets kind of hazy in my mind and it could go a few ways so I dont really have the details hammered out. BUT. im thinking that either:

a. mickey doesnt end up showing up for a reason that likely includes his boss finding him and like maybe threatening to hurt ian if mickey doesnt comply and continue w the heists and shit. and so ian waits for him and he never shows. but then he shows up st the diner either the next day or a few days later and ians upset with him and he serves mickey but he doesnt say a word and hes clearly pissed and mickey tries to apologize for leaving him waiting and then explains that it's not a good idea, he doesnt know what he was thinking. and he makes the decision to break up with ian bc he thinks that will keep him safe from his boss's threats but he doesnt tell ian why hes doing it just makes some bullshit thing up that hurts ian. and maybe ian tries to fight that all like "what the fuck where is this coming from?" but mickeu ofc refuses to say the real reason just says it isnt working or smth

or b. mickey gets a visit from his boss, again, with the whole threatening to hurt ian if mickey tries to get out and leave and shit. but mickey does show up and he doesnt have any bags and ians like wheres your shit? and mickeys like we cant do that anymore. it's not happening. and ians like what? what the fuck? why? and mickey has been so valiantly been trying to keep ian out of his 'work' life and not involve him in any of that criminal shit so he obviously cant tell ian the real reason why so he has to like make up so bullshit reason or whatever and ooh maybe he could like break up with ian bc he thinks doing that will protect him bc if they're not together anymore his boss cant use him to control mickey or smth like that.

but either way, mickeys boss ropes him into another job and it's like a big one or smth and it ends up going bad and mickeys in trouble or hurt or smth idk yet and basically whatever it is it means he's stopped going in the diner, and ians fucking worried bc even if they are broken up he still loves him and he still cares and he connected enough dots to know that mickeys involved in some shit he shouldnt be and maybe he saw mickey get into a verbal argument w his boss outside the diner one day and the dude was shady af and ian thinks something might be up and also maybe he hears smth too, like someone mentions smth big that happened like "oh did you head about that bank robbery gone wrong? apparently someone got shot" or smth like that idk and that gets ian really worried bc he thinks mickey might have smth to do with that and so he maybe tries to go to mickeys house and see if hes okay and he finds hes not okay, and I'm even hazier on what happens in this part lol I havent exactly thought this far in terms of details but idk something happens w mickey and ian has to help him get out of it and the truth obviously comes out and ooh okay maybe to help mickey get out of trouble (maybe the cops are involved somehow like maybe they're looking for mickey but they haven't found him yet?) and something leads to ian blowing up a van (hehe gotta include those nice nods to canon right? lol) or wait maybe a police car instead?? and idk maybe in the end they do end up skipping town and driving off and they're both on the run now but they're on the run together lol idk.

the ending is kind of rough, but I'll try to think of smth better for that, or someone can suggest something better if they think of anything.

but YEAH. this was my brainchild of the night so. enjoy it. and who knows maybe one day I'll actually write this??

[sientoism]

Close Friends W/ Benefits [SIWON SCENARIO] [BULLETED] [REQUESTED]

GENRE : Fluff and Smut

MEMBER : Siwon

REQUESTED BY : la2244

NOTES : first ever scenario on this blog. this is my first time making it. ive read a few of these on tumblr and i noticed they're very...very long so i'll try and make it long :) Part 2

so

choi siwon

the most handsome boi on earth

is your best friend

and is also your fucktoy

well im not saying he's yoUR fucktoy like he's no bottom

he's a top

but i mean i dont think hed mind sometimes

so basically how this came to be is that y'all were having a movie marathon

and i mean y'all were already close as friends (before going to the beneficial part ofc)

but then he made the first move ofc

the movie y'all were watching had a kissing scene

and siwon was trying to avoid getting them thOughTs

so he told you about it since y'all are friends and friends dont keep secrets

and you were like "oh uh wOW um okay."

and then he unconsciously leaned in and kissed you

and things went further from there

so fast forward to now

y'all have been fucking lately

but its been happening more and more

usually coming from work and how youre so stressed

your boss is such a shithead

co workers pain in the ass

printer broken

overall a bad day

ya text him

"get your ass over here, siwon."

"whattsa matter?"

"stress, need, good, fuck, now"

comes over in 5 minutes

best fuck ever lmao

it happens more and more

you must be getting stressed more and more

and so siwon was just taking a bath one day

normal day

smelling good as fuck

of course he would

he goes out of the bathroom and goes inside his bedroom to change into comfy clothes

and then he suddenly remembers you

that happens man

like his heard would be thumping so loudly and so rapidly when he would think about you

hed be thinking "could i possibly like her?"

"i mean we're just best friends maybe she wouldnt like that"

"but she means a lot to me"

"i know for sure i can protect her and grow a family with her"

"siwon dont get too excited"

"ah fuck"

he gives up

stares at his wooden cabinet for a good minute and gets dressed

a few days later

his feelings doNT WANNA GO AWAY

and you needing him more than once a week isnt helping

youre also noticing something wrong too tho

like before this thought of his was thought

does that make sENSE

anyway

he would be rough on you

dirty talk and all that jazz

but after his realization that he might just have fallen for you

he would go romantic and gentle

and youd notice it the first few days of him thinking that thought

and so you decided to confront him one day

you invited him over

he was pressedt at how he still likes you

and he thought he had to fuck you yet again

so when he arrived

gave him a glass of water of course

And y'all sat down on the couch

you talked to him about if he had any problems

since he was getting a little sappy these days

like he would show off his emotions a lot more

and siwon thought

"i have to tell her"

so he straight up told you that he did like you, maybe he had fallen in love

who knows

but you just sit there

in shock

"lmao wtf"

you laugh

stupid

and he thinks "what have i done, i shouldnt have told her and now shes laughing at me"

you go "you? like me? thats ridiculou— oh you're not joking?"

he shook his head

"listen siwon honey,"

"i only see you as a friend"

heart

crUSHED

"im sorry, i dont have those feeligs for you."

"im sorry that i couldnt feel the same way"

idk how to end this so imma just say im sorry siwon

boi probably doesnt even get rejected irl

and so

this man

hes not called the santa claus of suju for no reason at all

[the-amber-droid-dreams]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the inbox of the last 10 people who've reblogged something from you. It's a fun activity to get to know your mutuals and followers!

oh this is really fun !! ok here we go :

My best friend cherry !! We call eachother platonic soulmates ! Theyre funny, talented, smart, and the most understanding person in the world. They go on these super long tangents that i could genuinely listen to forever. She makes me feel so comfortable that i go on my own tangents and actually talk abt myself which doesnt happen with anyone else. I could say more but shes the best basically and idk what id do without her

Queer stuff, whether its learning smthg new or just looking at positivity posts, it all makes me super excited ! Queer jokes, queer history, queer art, it seriously doesnt matter. Some of my favorites tho are probably learning abt seemingly complex / contradictory identites and hearing stories abt historical and or old queer ppl. I also just started reading stone butch blues and im very excited abt it :]

Stimming ! When i first started doing it i felt kinda ashamed but then i learned some stuff and realized "oh this is ok this isnt wrong im allowed to do this" and now it makes me really happy ! I mean, happy stimming makes me happy ofc, but even the stimming i do when im uncomfortable does bc i know its helping me and i appreciate that a lot

Punk. Im still learning abt it but i love the music and the fashion and the politics of it sm. I especially love queer punk and islamic punk (The Taqwacores and We Are Lady Parts as examples). Currently my favorite music subgenre is folk punk

For this last one, instead of one big thing im gonna name a bunch of silly little small things :

wild flowers and grass growing where they shouldnt, ladybugs, snails

obnoxiously bright colors, colorful things in general

cursed furbies (and sending pictures of them to cherry)

pencils, wooden flooring, brown paper bags

collecting fun shaped magnets, dried leaves and flowers, and rocks

[saintkimora]

well......here is the unfortunate conclusion

so i was with brandon on memorial day and we had a conversation that has me thinking i might have to end things w him

it was a nice day at first, i brought him flowers and he was so flustered it was sooooooo cute and we had sex and then we went about the rest of the day cuddling and talking and stuff. then we were gonna go get food so we were washing our hands and i think he jokingly asked me if i had sidehoes or if he was a sidehoe or something and i was like ofc not. then i asked him if he had any sidehoes and he kept avoiding the question in a humorous way and then we ended up having a serious, very eye opening conversation

he said he thinks i might have different “””expectations””” than he does. and i talked about when we might be official since weve been dating for 4.5 months now and he was saying how he wasnt ready for a relationship and that he doesnt really believe in commitment until marriage (crackhead) like how are you supposed to reach the point of marriage if you wont even commit beforehand

he said he doesnt want commitment bc he doesnt like feeling tied down (of course) and he was saying like right now hes happy with me but if he commits to me he feels like then hes gonna start wanting other guys, kinda of like a wanting what you cant have kinda deal (hate it)

he said he used to not understand open relationships but now he gets why people do it. he was like “your relationship with everyone in your life is unique and different, and just because i might have something with another guy, that doesnt mean i care about you any less or that hes better than you, my relationship with the other guy would be different than what i have with you” at this point i wanted to fucking open the window and just step out and fall to my death i REALLY did not like where this was going

at this point he had mentioned that he wants the freedom to talk to other guys (and i had the fact he was still on grindr in the back of my mind) so i decided to ask him i was like are you talking to any other guys? and he was like “see this is what im talking about like you have the expectation that i shouldnt be talking to other guys” and i was like “well are you talking to any? and how do you define talking? like if youre at a bar and some guy comes up to you and strikes up a conversation obv thats fine w me like thats just being nice” and he was like “thats not what i mean by talking” so i was like ok fuck my drag right

and again he just talked about how he didnt wanna be tied down and wanted to go slow (the slow part i understood at the beginning of us dating but like sis....its been 4.5 months like at this point youre just wasting my time if you wanna just have fun with no commitment)

and it sucks bc the day before memorial day when i was having a rough time. it was bc he was annoyed at me a few days ago and he was being kinda distant and ignoring my texts a little bit. which isnt too serious objectively but it was making me very nervous bc it was reminding me of my experiences with joel and caleb so i was very on edge and i was nervous literally the whole day and it didnt help that i saw he was going out and drinking somewhere on his snap story. so i just got really paranoid about him possibly meeting another guy while hes out and drunkenly hooking up with him or going out with him or getting romantically involved or something. which is obv not rational thinking on my part but i cant help that i get so worried, esp after joel and caleb. if we were official i would feel more secure but since we arent bfs yet he technically could go out and be with another guy without breaking any official rules so thats why im nervous, if we were official i would still get nervous sometimes but i would feel a little better about it at least

and this has happened a lot while we’ve been seeing each other. and one of these days i wanted to bring it up in convo with him so i could hopefully get some reassurance and feel more secure and stuff. i was considering even bringing it up when we were together yesterday esp since he likes when i show vulnerability but after that conversation we had? i already have my answer. i know if i did bring it up to him he would just be like joel and be like “well i cant make promises” since commitment is SUCH a big issue to him apparently. which leads to why i might have to end things w him bc i really dont want to keep living in fear like this i hate it

im just over it like i was really upset by that conversation like he wasted FOUR AND A HALF MONTHS of my time as well as getting me attached to him like if he doesnt want a relationship he shouldve told me that upfront so i couldve stopped seeing him after like the 2nd date or something

but im also confused bc like 2 months ago or so we were joking about guys i dont remember it too much but at one point i was (obv jokingly) like “oh fine ill just go out and get a new man instead” and brandon got like a little upset about it he was like “if youre not gonna take our relationship seriously dont waste my time bc im looking for someone who wants to work toward a serious relationship” yet now hes saying this like what is the truth

so yeah thats p much it :/ i was very disappointed by that conversation and i think he could tell but i said everything was fine bc i didnt want to say anything decisive in the moment bc i like to give myself a few days to think on big things like that. but really idk wtf else to do now :( esp since unfortunately...........i love him so like no matter what i do im gonna end up hurting myself

[rqs902]

now im watching last week’s ep of tco4 bc i havent had time to get to it yet and i need to take my mind off snzm 

UGH its sad to hear xy, fsc and xiao huang talking about their rankings rip but their laughing makes it even more sad

UGH NOT FRUIT PLANET I REALLY LIKE THEMMMM sigh i gotta face the reality that theyre likely gonna get separated... but PLEASE AT LEAST SOMEONE SAVE XIAO ZHI PLEASE THATS ALL I ASK, im not gonna be greedy :(

oof i respect ma zhe saying that he doesnt want to win bc he recognizes other kids like FRUIT PLANET KIDS, zy and xiao zhi, are so skilled. he knows winning is just a numbers game and would not serve as proof of his skill. thats a tough place to be in, and it isnt uncommon but i think i rarely hear a contestant say it like that. “i dont want to win bc im not worthy” “i dont want to win bc i know im not as talented” 

wow i was a little confused as to why they were doing these solo spotlights but actually this is really nice! its nice to see them really going hard at their strengths and really pouring their all in to show off a bit. it can be hard to do so in a group setting all the time, and really it reminds you that there a lot of really talented musicians among these kids. i think itll also be good to remind the kids who are picking later what the other kids’ skills are and what they’re capable of. 

oh whoa i thought about there only being 2 bassists, i didnt realize there are only 2 pianists too

hm maybe im just biased but i thought xiao li’s playing was a litttleee bit cleaner than szb’s heheh but i respect that they attempted to even play a duet from across the room, thats a challenge 

i respect muji’s playing 

LOL why do xiao huang and zhao ke’s voices singing together sound so strange to me LOL 

LOL switch to ljt’s group and im just !!!!! HIS VOICE !!!! I LOVE LIAO JUNTAO’S VOICEEE and also the cafe vibe is so him LOL this group is so him

wait so someone explain to me why ljt wasnt in the solo section? is he considered a vocal? but what about his guitar skills?? 

im kinda sad jym isnt smiling when drumming anymore :\ 

YAY FRUIT PLANET !! i love how happy xiao zhi and wsh look when playing hahah 

AW talking about xiao zhi being like a dad and 包容 and taking care of them im ughhhh UGH THIS IS A MINI XIAO ZHI FEATURE IM CRYINGGGG THIS CHILD DESERVES THIS “the one who’s left standing when everyone else falls down” hes just so supportive and warm.. ugh watching him break down crying thinking about all he couldve done better and you can tell he feel so guilty and blames himself that fruit planet isnt doing well

HAHAHAHA EVERYONE WANTS XIAO ZHI !!! except szb lol but at least i know if they do get disbanded, hopefully xiao zhi will still be safe :’) im glad they all recognize his talent and the importance of having a bassist!!! 

oof xiao xiong talking about hyt being overbearing and reminding him of his ANGRY DAD thats a big ouch. it is true that xiao xiong’s skill level may not be up to hyt’s standards, but i can see hyt doesnt respect him enough as a team member. the more familiar hyt gets with him, the more he isnt afraid to show his true feelings of frustration. esp bc theyre in such a stressful situation, it must be rough as a leader. also seems rough for xiao li to be stuck in between this. from the beginning hyt has shown himself to have high standards and he demands high quality so he isnt gonna be the soft, encouraging leader xiao xiong probably would prefer, unfortunately. ouch the way hyt straight up says “this is going to be painful” like theres nothing he can do about it and they just have to accept it. like ps says, he’s not good at understanding other people’s feelings, like he doesnt seem to be willing to try to understand xiao xiong’s. 

the way hyt lists what other people are doing and then asks xiao xiong “那你呢?” ouch........ that seems really mean? manipulative? harsh? but at the same time, we dont really know all the context so this is just want tencent wants us to think.

hyt also wants xiao zhi???? I cant imagine xiao zhi in this group, even tho itd probably be good for his possible debuting prospects, but xiao zhi gives me such a laid back, warm, taking care of everyone, creating a nice, supportive environment type of leader, and this group is literally the opposite of that??? ugh and yet, despite their superior group environment, fruit planet is at risk of getting disbanded... so sad. 

man with the way these votes are trending hyt is gonna win and ljt wont debut? :(

lol tencent cutting the speeches of less popular contestants not surprised 

wait wat. isnt qiang ge very popular??? what happened to his votes? wait what. im confused. what???

LOL FRUIT PLANET IS SAFE IM SO RELIEVED HAHAH okay i know i came into this show for ljt but xiao zhi has become one of my picks too, i cant deny anymore LOL and also xiao li -- but hyt’s group’s dynamic makes me feel uncomfortable at the moment. but yea ljt, xiao zhi, xiao li are my top 3... too bad they DEF wont be in the same group / wouldnt mesh well in a group together LOL 

i love fruit planet group dynamic :’) watching them talk to each other just makes me smile

OH MY GOODNESS XIAO LI IS LEAVING?????? i can understand though, this grouping is not ideal from a music making standpoint either, like why are there so many vocalists lol but also i respect that hes putting his music first and he knows what he wants and needs for his music. even if it means leaving hyt who is basically a guarantee for popularity on this show. im so surprised xiao xiong isnt saying he will leave too.. or even hyt himself at this point. theyre all just... crying.... but honestly how can they make music without xiao li??? 

AWH my heart.... xiao li asking xiao xiong “你會恨我嗎?” i have never felt “do you hate me” hit me in the feels like this before. its such an OOF. and xiao xiong saying hes super close to xiao li, you can tell hes been under such emotional duress and xiao li has supported him through and now hes just conflicted between betraying hyt (who he wouldnt be here without) and suffering with hyt without xiao li there to help. this is so sad to watch..... ok but honestly just seeing how in this emotional time, ma zhe and xiao xiong are talking to xiao li and NOT hyt says something about how theyre afraid to touch him. 

what xiao li says about hyt being kidnapped by his popularity makes so much sense, with what hyt said about chasing after his expectations and trying to live up to them. hes really not relaxed. ever. and i think thats what xiao li doesnt want to work with. i respect that he wants to be recognized for his music rather than just be recognized. 

wat is this show doing why did they just stop and let them wallow in their feelings for hours??? wtf?? i mean i appreciate they respect that its a difficult and important decision but shouldnt they make them move on more efficiently?? what a waste of everyone’s time...

lol hyt learning some eq? yes you have to take care of your group members’ feelings, theyre people....

L O L XIAO LI GOING BACK ON HIS DECISION IM DYINGG HAHHAHAHAHHAHA WHAT A WASTE OF EVERYONES TIME HAHAHHAHA WHAT IS THIS SHOW. but okay yes i respect xiao li for having the guts to say he wants to leave, bc that hopefully gave hyt the wake up call he needed. BUT ALSO i do think staying with hyt makes sense career-wise. gaining popularity first isnt a bad thing. and he can always (continue to) prove his worth and make all different types of songs in the future, whether during or after his time with hyt. but staying with hyt = exposure, and thats never a bad thing. its just... hopefully they can resolve their emotional issues from here on out.

technically the smart move is to pick a popular contestant like zhao ke, to boost your group’s popularity overall. BUT hyt is so popular it really doesnt matter LOL 

L O L xiao li being like well i cant get the group i want anyway, so idgaf lets just keep on “戲劇化” HAHAHAHHA he gives no effs anymore

but also i cant imagine them with another non-instrumentalist LOL and what kind of style will they have now? 

ok wait let me go back to look at this:

hm yea the only other person of choice that would be helpful for votes is qiang ge. but i also cant imagine him on fruit planet???? ugh i wonder if qiang ge turned them down bc he feels like he’d ruin them like he blames himself for ruining his past groups. 

i cant believe xiao li said he tried to talk to qiang ge for 3 hours until 6am... to convince him to come to fruit planet? wild. 

UGH so sad that fruit planet didnt get a successful pick but honestly i am kinda glad mty didnt agree bc i kinda really would like to continue seeing xiao zhi play bass..... but ofc i guess it would be nice for him to show other skills too, ah im conflicted. but he really looks so carefree and like hes having so much fun when playing bass, id hate to take that away

LOL BASICALLY SZB CONFESSING TO MUJI HAHAHHAHAHA IS THIS A HIGH SCHOOL DRAMA ALL THE SUDDEN HAHAHHAHA actually i havent seen them interact before but i can kinda see muji’s personality meshing with their group’s, like hes kinda quirky and strange too LOL its cool they do get along tho

OOF SO MANY REJECTIONS. but also muji’s right, last time he wasnt strong enough, so i respect that hes really trying this time. 

omg szb throwing a tantrum and trying to force muji’s hand is not very respectful to muji’s wishes and it makes muji look like a bad guy :( im glad muji’s standing his ground tho, this is not the time to indulge a child’s tantrum lol

on the bright side, i love xiao zhi’s laugh, so at least we got something out of this LOL

LOL xy so easily pulling fsc over LOL why cant they all be like this LOL save tencent editing time LOL 

i knew there were too many emotions on ljt’s team........ i cant believe as soon as szb is like marginally okay, jym is like NOPE....... L O L 

.....i cant believe..... they’re just.... cutting it off...... like this....... WHAT IS THIS SHOW AHHAHAHAH okayyyyyyyyyyyy thennnnnnnn 

oof wasnt 車站 ljt’s last song before elimination? i just got hit with a wave of sadness and memories oof i wasnt ready 

man its so interesting bc i feel like on other shows, the contestants are always like “i dont want to get eliminated!” but here its like “i dont feel like i can fit into their music, id rather be eliminated.” its an interestingly different type of setting. i respect that they respect their own music, but i guess theyre not thinking enough about their future career progression? if they really want to make it in the music industry? idk. its interesting bc i feel like ljt has struggled so hard since getting eliminated from the first season that i assume / hope he has more of a mindset of wanting to make it to the end.

anyway im kinda surprised fruit planet made it so high LOL but yay for them, i really wonder what will happen with them picking their 5th member. im surprised qiang ge’s votes are so low? itll be sad if he really leaves though. ugh only 2 out of 4 groups successfully regrouped and one of them took an extra 2 hours to decide.... lol. i still dont understand why that was allowed in the first place but okay. this is the most struggle elimination ep ive ever seen LOL 

[abcdosaka]

i spent a little while reading about influencers and kim k lookalikes and ig culture and that kinda shit and then i spent like 40 min looking at before and after rhinoplasty pics and tbh....my nose is kinda bad but i’ve pretty much come to the conclusion its not worth it. i think itd just be too weird for me. like im so used to being not cute that its like if i suddenly fixed things about me that i dont like and looked like actually “cute” i wouldnt know how to act. not even in a id become super arrogant way, but in a i wouldnt know how to deal with it in my interpersonal relationships with family, friends, even acquaintances, its just....i think i should try to value myself without focusing on looks all the time. like looks arent everything and yet i still intrinsically believe they are no matter how much i try to convince myself they arent. i start talking like an incel too, honestly its completely delusional but i act like that’s how everyone thinks. in the end though most people aren’t that concerned about other people’s physical features to such an extent that it significantly effects how they treat others, and the ones that do act like that i shouldnt want to be all buddy buddy with in the first place.

idk ive spent a lot of time hating my looks and envying beautiful people that it physically makes me nauseous. i hate modern life. hate the concept of beauty and appearance.

was thinking about this in the shower bc of a discussion about my future w/coworkers but honestly i think i’d be ok with dying. like in an accident, if it was quick, thats fine. like i havent experienced everything i wanted to in life and there’s so much to do but honestly i dont even wanna find out. actually no this is how it’d go: if i got hit by a car or something and lay there dying ill be seriously desperate like “fuck i change my mind i don’t wanna die” and then my insecure as ever brain will pop out like “actually, you wanted this in the first place didn’t you” and then ill be victim blamed into accepting my death by my own self

ok you know what!! no more negative self talk! im fucking DONE being shy! im going to be a more socially active, positive person, if only to be happier with myself!!! i mean baby steps, ofc, but im going to fucking DO IT OK im going to say what im thinking more often and stop consistently overthinking, im gonna set personal goals for myself, im going to be happy. im going to be happy. im going to be happy. (typing this as im crying listening to mamma mia)

[survivorkomnata]

Episode #9: "Anyone wanna speak up?" - Zach

they tRIED IT SDLGKDMSKLGM

ok so miguel was voted off 5-4-1 miguel/ME??/luke. the four people who voted me were stephen / ally / jess / luke. thankfully, i could count on the Kato 2.0 people on having my back. we also just made an alliance!!! because FUCK my og alliance with stephen/ally/(and karthik). and I STILL HAVE AN IDOL.

ok i'm just shook. i lowkey thought maybe alyssa was playing me but.. she wasnt. she saved me and i owe her for that. i hope it doesnt really hurt her position in the game but she's by far playing the best i think.

i'm just shook. i'm not mad at anyone. i apologize for how i acted post-tribal but oMGGGfgGgG these BITCHES|!!! it's the game tho, and i hope i can keep on kicking and swinging cuz im gonna fight tooth and nail in this game.

also it's so funny idk why but me saying the last line was ALGKDLSGK i still laugh:

anyone wanna speak up?

(ill give more later im just.. frazzled)

Ummm so about that fucking vote. WTF IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?! WE HAD THE CHANCE OF TAKING OUT A FORMER WINNER AND A PROVEN CHALLENGE BEAST! I'm convinced the IQ of this person who flipped is a -20 because.. that was the stupidest move in the existence of Tumblr Survivor..... and I'm the QUEEN of the House of Stupid Moves. I can declare it.

I'm not 1000% sure right now who it is but I have two guesses.

My first guess is: It was Ally.

Reasons: 1. Ally has admittedly worked with Zach in another Survivor game. 2. She also arguably had the MOST contact out of everyone with Zach all day. 3. She possibly wants to pin this vote on Alyssa to break up any possible alliance between myself/Stephen/ Alyssa. 4. She wants to break up me and Alyssa 5. The group of Karth/Zach/Ally is a thing?

My second guess is: Alyssa Reasons: 1. If Zach left she is the next biggest threat here. 2. She wanted a shield. 3. She's trying to build as many relationships with people as possible to cover her social fucking ass. 4. She hates me and wants to off me and will use Zach to kill me in this game.

I honestly don't even know if my predictions are correct here but... I sort of hope they are and I don't look dumb in the future.

My plan going forward is: to not create a bigger mess that was already created.

XOXOXO Jessip Girl.

I'd also like to add another reason why I think it's Alyssa is because Miguel was one of the people who tried to vote her off.

THANK U

Wow!! An attempted blindside gone wrong. This was really exciting and fun. These are the reasons I play this game for, finally happy to see these happening. A lot of lies and betrayal all of which is understandable but these things has got me pumped up. I am going to play with my emotions and they have triggered me. Time to start playing the game and play it hard. An attack on Zach is an attack on me, so they better be prepared to handle my rage.I feel this was a very good tribal in terms of the game as it makes its future bright and exciting. Luke....what are you doing??? Everything that has come to out of his mouth so far has been a lie. I just cant believe the way he is playing, no where close to what I was expecting from him.

After last night's chaos... my word. I have a feeling Touchy Subjects is going to destroy some people here.

Plot twist: I've heard some recent developments about the flipped vote.

According to Tim it was Luke? Oh? Buddy.... has officially been put on my "Shit List" in this game. You can't sit around and play both "sides" of this game. THAT'S MY JOB.

I'm not too sure how I'm going to break this to Ally. She might not believe me but I KNOW I NEED TO TELL HER.

Also: I still don't get why sooo many people trust Tim. I know Tim doesn't trust me anymore or maybe... not as much as he used to. BUT why did he tell Zach right away about the Miguel vote yesterday? IT ALL SEEMS SO SKETCHY.

Being thrown in the basement has given me an opportunity to reflect on some things in the game. I was kinda flattered to be the winner of both "running the game" categories in Touchy Subjects. Unfortunately, that perception might cause the other players to plan more behind my back. I know from last vote that being in the basement before Tribal Council shouldn't impact things tooooo much for me. Still, I'd rather have the opportunity to talk with people whenever I want.

Speaking of last vote, I tried to blindside Zach! And it didn't happen. The original plan was Miguel, but things got switched up when no one seemed to bite into wanting him out. Ally wanted to get Tim instead, which signaled to me that she obviously didn't have a strong relationship with him. So I had to swoop in and say Zach should go instead because Tim is in one of my many alliances. Honestly I'm beginning to prefer the 4 Elements alliance over AJ's Angels because it's possible Alyssa was the one who flipped, and she's not telling me it was her. But after Touchy Subjects, I think I have a better chance against Karth in the end than I previously thought. He's viewed as inactive, which I personally disagree with, but that perception is very good for me.

Another alliance I'm in is the "Samurais" which I would have liked to call "The Resistance" but Luke had other plans. I honestly just view this alliance as a means to an end. That end being.... getting Zach out, SOON! Hopefully Ally has a case of tunnel-vision with getting Zach out as soon as possible and her/Luke don't suspect a thing when I flip right afterwards.

All of this is contingent on Jess feeling the same way, since flipping on my own wouldn't get me the numbers, which I think she will now that she sees the other players view Karth as being dragged to the end.

I'm still in the basement, so I don't know who the 2 sides are voting for. I doubt Zach sent me down here because he wants me to find an advantage... so I could be a target. I hope Karth and Tim would keep that from happening, and push the vote onto Luke instead. I might prefer to get Jake out just because I don't have a strategic relationship with him, but beggars can't be choosers. It's not like I'm particularly close with Luke anyway.

Ok so sorry for not making confessionals as often as I did before!!  The game has literally been warped based off of the fist merge vote. Zach was targeted by Stephen, Ally, Luke, and JESS. Freaking Jess flipped on me when I thought we were really tight and cool. I played off my frustration with the others in the alliance of the 4 elements as understanding but I made moves. I first formed that allaince but now I formed an allaince of Kato 2.0 minus Miguel ofc. Tonights vote I want to do Luke but lets see. I will talk about challenge results soon as well!!

i won IMMUNITY!!! i'm so blessed because i've been told by two sources (namely tim & alyssa) that i was going to be targeted had i not. so? bless!

regarding what ''subjects'' i won: - would dump rice in the fire [true] - biggest physical player [true] - most likely to have an idol [true] - trust the most [false??] - want to see win at the end [false lol]

so that's interesting. i did a tentative game ranking and originally i put: alyssa > zach > ally > karthik > stephen > jake > jess > tim > luke

but now i'd put: alyssa > ally > karthik > zach=stephen > jake > jess > tim > luke but it's still super tricky to accurately rate because of the multiple factors you could include (threat size, potential to win, potential to go to FTC, allies, etc.). i honestly think my jury management is 0/2 so far, and that i will lose at FTC due to ''not working with people'' even tho i entirely blame others for that :D

now let's talk about the reasonings for voting me (hopefully i haven't spoken about this already): stephen - were worried about a potential idol play/new vote so they voted the "safer option", named zach. --> this kinda throws me off. i think it's realistically the most truthful of the 4 excuses, but it's kinda sad that my name was a ''safe'' vote opposed to someone having my back (because i have tried to work with them and especially like. jess.) ally - felt betrayed by the stephen w. vote and like i ignored her. --> i think this is dumb. firstly, girl, we kno u are STRATEGIC. secondly, i didn't ignore her whatsoever?? i was the closest to flipping imo but i didn't because stephen w. targeted ME? like if she genuinely voted me bc i didnt flip after my name was stephens main target (bar jake) then... sister idk what u want. luke - last minute scramble, didn't think i was getting many votes. --> well this is just false. point, blank and period. jess - that when she offered miguel's name, i was hesitant and freaking out (and that she wanted to be my number one opposed to number two). --> dumb. i told her miguel's name. i said it'd be sad but i'd be down and not willing to stick my neck out for miguel. maybe i came off poorly, sure, but if you truly wanted 2 be my ''number one'' u shouldnt make the vote me but rather someone else.

i'm just peeved.

on top of that, karthik is sooo rude??? like he didn't tell me shit about the basement until i confronted him. LIKE. I SENT AN ENEMY (OF MINE) TO THE BASEMENT AND YOU FAILED TO LET ME KNOW THAT YOU GUESS EVERY 6 HRS OPPOSED TO 24?? LIKE ?? I COULDVE SENT IN A DUCKING FRIEND!! so rude. i honestly am questioning my trust with him more and more through each round.

i also want to talk about someone that's great. JAKE! i love you so much. last confessional i may have doubted you (and, maybe the round before) but i'm extremely appreciative for you in this game and i can't stress enough that i'm just paranoid as duck and worry way more than i should. thank u LOL i trust u a lot now.

but, that's all in the past. let's talk about tonights vote. allegedly, stephen told tim that the target was going to be me, but due to immunity, jake is now the target. this makes a little sense given allys been wanting jake out the absolute MOST, but i feel like it'd be a decoy. don't matter tho xx i'm safe. alyssa is also apparently flipping (or, staying i guess) with our side and voting out luke - who is our sides target. i see logic in voting luke. he'll be the easiest of that side to get out, but on the other hand, he's the least threatening and if i'm going to flip someone, it'll be easier to flip people against ally (best liar, etc.) or stephen (running the game, etc.) opposed to luke (voted out next, don't want 2 see win, etc.). but have it be known that i'd CRAVE idolling out stephen or ally, and i may just do that.

it's still early in the day, and a lot can happen. i'll try* to keep yawls posted. i genuinely trust no one and i'm like at the stage of being sad ): because i don't think i can win and i don't think anyone wants to work with me even though i feel like i've been super social. i am always opened when i play games, and that may be 'snakey' or something but i'm willing to work with ANYONE. but they are not seeing that, and i don't know what to do abt it. maybe they're targeting me for being a threat (as a main reason), and that'd make me content but it feels like i'm one of those "one sided" people and... yeah. i guess only time will tell, but my fatass is in final 8 with an idol and all these birches know that, and i'll just have 2 play around that. good luck to me LOL ALSGKDLSKG

After a shocking touchy feelings, I’m feeling nervous about this tribal. No one is saying anything and I’m honestly feeling like I’m going home tonight. People are telling me I shouldn’t be and I want to believe them but I just don’t know.

ugh I want to save Luke but I cant afford to lose Tim/Jake/Zach's trust so I may have to just follow the groups preferences and vote Luke. I would rather have preferred the target to be Jess/Alyssa as they seem to be playing good games and aren't close to me. I had talked it out with Luke and now I feel like he would be help to my game down the line but dont feel like going over the board to save him.

Luke is voted out 5-4. He becomes the third member of our jury.

[isaacathom]

the name of the Fort place is probably the easiest of all the names. because i can fall back on just calling it Fort [name] and walk it off. it wouldnt even be all that hard. find some old fashioned dudes name and slap it on. done. course i gotta try to avoid existing ones, which will be the fiddly bit, but if i throw enough old names at it i will eventually squeeze on through.

everything else is harder. for the ‘principality’ place, i could probably stand the use of the -land suffix, since its comparable to wales, relatively, and thats closer to a country than like..  suburb, which is essentially what the other ones are. for the duchy.... fuck. idk. i dont have any landmarks? same for the castle, which is hypothetically where the house name comes from. it doesnt have to, but i think it easier if it is. easier on me, anyway. like, it could simply be that the current royal house initially began ruling from Fort pisston or whatever, and then built a castle to the east and renamed the suburb around them after their royal house. or that they originally came from that suburb and were named for it, and later returned as royalty. since a few of the royal families are named for places. like the Hanovers! a lot of ‘houses’ are named for the places where i imagine the houses began, like they all just got together in their biggest house and said ‘here we shall be’ and thus, the dudes. right? probably. either works, honestly.

ofc, how far baaaack does this royal house reach? its in no danger of dying, for sure, since erick has three kids and andrew has two (i also need to name his kids), and i imagine there are other members of this royal house around, like erick and andrews cousins. how far does it stretch? how modern is the castle in the west? the Fort is the historical castle, its where this shit started, its a lot less modern but has natural defenses because it was designed to withstand a siege first and to have modern conveniences second. its old, is the point, and while it was probably renovated before and during the war (half heartedly or in small order during the war, but enough to make the royal family comfortable making indefinite residence there). how old is the Castle? Palace doomahickey. because if its located in the named place, it started with this Royal House, when;d they shuffle in. why. why’d they come in. war? death? were they cousins of some kind? i mean, if im trying to paint Thyssia as a relatively peaceful country (except with its own internal conflict from years yonder which resulted in the creation of Thyssia as its borders stand today) then it shouldnt be war. unless that war, if it was a war, that created Thyssia as it is now is what placed the current royal family on the throne. how long do royal families last? well, they can last 300 odd years, which is a fair fucking ways.

so, it could honestly be that old. that make the Fort old as balls. but i think i kinda like that idea of the war placing the current royals on the throne, given Erick’s big ol pushes of ~peace~. peaceful man. has his throne only for the violence of his ancestors. righteous violence? idk. we would think that if Erick’s family came from what is name Western Thyssia, that they were the ones whose country was called Thyssia initially, right. if it was going to be called that at all. what we COULD do is that, when ericks family took over and united the two countries (now geographically west and east Thyssia), they did away with their individual names and just named is Thyssia outright, with no historical source, just a name. to bring a sort of agreement to the people of both countries, and its unlikely either would agree to be called by the others name. SOO, then, if they just named the whole country Thyssia, they could also have changed their last name to be that of their initial country, right? thatd be cool! i think that’d be real fun. as a sort of nod to their past, they become the House of [West Thyssia], essentially, and after maybe a monarch or two they decide to build a second castle near where the first monarch came from, like maybe near their childhood home, and this becomes The Big Cheese. thats cool. i can dig that shit. means the castle isnt 300 years old, but a little less, maybe 250? 250 years on a castle? that doesnt seem... too bad... im gonna need to research some castles, hold on

yea fuck it, 250 is FINE, fucking windsor castle built in the 11th century, i can do whatever i wannnnnntttt. castles are old as balls. 250 years is fine. what, thats.... 1867? yea, thats good, thats a pretty modern castle by all standards. Fort whatever is probably one of them older suckers, like 600 at least. its old. its been renovated, of couurse, probably over the course of the equivalent 20th century. so its probably fine. and of course, during the 12 year long stay at the Fort during the war (the war was only 11 years long, but im giving wiggle room before and after for logistical issues and pre-empting the war and moving Adelaide and Jackson to the Fort), it was absolutely renovated again, so its probably modernity wise on par to the main castle of Thyssia. and then theres probably a bunch of other little things. ooh!! maybe that ‘principality’ could actually be for the Fort area, too! though, that’d be a weird. BUT, the Fort name is only, like, the suburb? the region has a different name. so essentially, the Prince of [fuck knows what] is the prince of the Eastern Half of the country! Eastern Thyssia and shit! cause i mean, 300 years is, historically, not all that long. theres probably still a sort of cultural divide between East and West based on what they were before. the original cultures were likely somewhat similar, but that depends. maybe western thyssia’s culture has more in common with their western neighbour (the one that went to war with Thyssia and AHC) than with eastern thyssia! and perhaps eastern thyssia, itself, has a lot more in common with AHC! i mean, theres probably more to it than that, for instance western thyssia has the connection to the neutral country/ies that lie to the north west, which means western thyssia is a melting pot of weird shit, at least based on the countries i know exist geographically around it.

ifff thyssia as a whole is border by ocean on the south (yes) and east (maybe) then theres also a trade aspect. if theres the eastern side, then east thyssia is 90% gonna be hyper traders, like they live on that, perhaps moreso than the more land connected region of west thyssia. so while culture in west thyssia is more likely to remain within its locals, east thyssia had to spread out, cross the oceans. and perhaps where those mountains are, the mountains i was considering having be along the border of eastern thyssia and AHC, perhaps they lie more alone ahc’s western border! which, if eastern thyssia is primarily doing trade with ahc, leaves them very much isolated there. meaning, again, they expand out across the seas and bring back all these exotic people and customs, so its a melting pot oceanically moreso than.... land-ically. :D

fuck god i love this shit oooooooooooooooo it doesnt even matter if i use this shit i love just thinking about it