#so plz be nice to a fragile bitch like me

[brassknucklespeirs]

Nᴏ Sʜᴀᴍᴇ [Jᴏsᴇᴘʜ Lɪᴇʙɢᴏᴛᴛ x ꜰ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ]

Genre: Angst and smut with a smidge of fluff

Warning: Smut (18+), general HBO war warnings so language, pretty bad family upbringings (haha mommy and daddy issues am i right?), reader does walk all over Joe ngl but she’s learning, if you read between the lines then talks of using sex as a coping mechanism, borderline cheating? idk

Prompt: Requested by @softguarnere​ “No Shame (also by 5SOS because I'm obsessed) with Liebgott?”

A/N: I’m real sorry this isn’t edited or even proof read yet so bare with me, just wanted to post the damn thing cause it’s driving me insane. Isn’t quite as good as i wanted it to be so it’s got me going mad

This is based from the lyrics of ‘No Shame’ by 5 Seconds of Summer but i have cut some of the lines that i couldn’t work with so be aware, the song is not complete. This is the first attempt at me using song lyrics as prompts so please enjoy. 

Angel, with the gun in your hand,

pointing my direction, giving me affection

Joe had been taken immediately by the new female replacement that walked through the pub door that night, a look of awe crossing his face as she sauntered in, flashing a smug smirk at all of the men who watched her with shock. Most of them had met the woman prior to her appearance at their usual drinking spot in Aldbourne but most had not wrapped their heads around it all, especially when the military grade skirt distracted them from processing anything. 

Y/N wandered slowly over to a table that sat Guarnere, Toye and Babe after grabbing a drink from the bar, jumping into a conversation with them immediately after pushing herself under Babe’s arm. The two were close after training together for so long, their friendship staying sound after their combined placement into Easy company. Babe had made quick friends with Bill Guarnere and with that came the acceptance of the woman into the man’s good books before she had even been fully introduced to him. Joe Toye had been hesitant about Y/N but took to her quickly after watching her smack the attitude out of a private from Fox company who had spoken down to her, the two clicked instantly after that. 

The group of mix and match soldiers at the table grew as the night went on, men coming and going to converse with her as she accepted drink after drink, mostly thanks to George Luz and Floyd Talbert. The original four of them sat together laughing like old friends reunited, with Babe blushing while under the scrutiny of Bill when asked why he friend-zoned such a darling dame such as Y/N. The woman in question smirked into her drink while watching him glance at her for help before deciding to tease the poor boy.

“Why did you decide to do that Babe? Damn near broke my heart.” He shot her a pointed look after she said it, giving her a gentle squeeze to the waist.

“You’re a piece of work.” He muttered to her.

It was between these comments being passed around that she had caught a pair of eyes watching her from the corner of the bar, with his companion, Skinny Sisk, failing to turn his eyes away from the woman no matter how much he tried to. She turned away, taking another sip of her drink, once again hiding her smirk before she made direct eye contact with Toye, who licked his tongue over his lips while he sent her a sly smile. She squinted her eyes at hi teasingly to which he just raised an eyebrow in question. The woman shrugged, taking another quick glance over to see Liebgott was still watching her in interest. Toye and Y/N silent conversation went unnoticed by the others, who were too busy seeing Babe turn more red by the second as Bill hounded him with vulgar questions.

The night continued on like this for a while, and aside from the dance or two that Y/N shared with Luz, the woman barely left her seat, so engrossed in the atmosphere she was enjoying. The rush of alcohol hadn’t taken over her completely but it certainly made her feel good as she chatted happily to the men before her. It was in that moment that she’d been talking animatedly to Tab that she saw Liebgott over the man’s shoulder. She nodded her head as if she was listening to the Kokomo boy when really her focus had been on the man behind him. Their gazes met for a moment, enough time for her to send a smirk his way before he slipped out the door. The woman turned back to Tab before politely excusing herself for some ‘fresh air’. 

The cool english air hit the exposed skin on her neck as soon as she left the comfort of the bar causing a shiver to trail her spine. It was mostly dark outside aside from a flicker of flame that came from beside her, her eyes curiously turning to the figure she knew was there.

“Are you going to continue watching me for the rest of the night or will you be finding the balls to come and talk to me?” Y/N spoke so confidently, yet the darkness shrouded the smirk that fell on the man’s lips in that moment.

“Trust me darlin’, I ain’t needing to find no balls. I haven’t lost ‘em you see. You can even check if you want?” The woman let out a quiet snort which led to Joe letting out an amused huff.

“That was bad.” She replied, stepping towards him while lighting her own cigarette. The man inhaled while nodding his head, sticking the unoccupied hand in his pocket.

“Yeah it certainly wasn’t my best.” He said with a chuckle. She smiled at him then, no longer a sly smirk but more an amused curl of her lips.

“Give me another one then.” The man looked as pensive as he could before a yawn suddenly escaped his mouth, the hand holding his cigarette moving to cover it. Y/N raised an eyebrow at him, amused by what she thought was his lack of focus on her.

“Tired already? Or is my presence boring you?” She teased.

“Nah, it’s not you doll-face. You see I’ve been having trouble sleeping recently.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, can’t sleep by myself you see. Maybe you could sleep with me?” Joe said before looking up at her, his eyebrows raised as he waited for her consensus.

“Ah, you had me there for a minute.”

“Was it better though?” He pushed, bumping his hip into hers while she took a drag of her smoke.

“Eh, it wasn’t the worst I’ve heard.”

“Damn, the lady has high standards.”

“No, not high standards, just lots of experience.” Y/N said with a unbothered shrug.

“Maybe you’d like to share some experience with me?”

“That one was a little better.” She said while laughing, causing the man to look at her with his own genuine smile.

“I’ll be here all night.” He exclaimed, giving a small bow for effect.

“Or you could be in my bed all night?” She threw his way, her lips pursed to withhold her smirk.

“Oh, we have a competition here?” His smirk widened across his face as he pulled the cigarette away from his face, dropping it to the ground to smoulder.

“As I said, lots of experience.” She replied, a smirk rivalling his growing over her lips. Joe shook his head in amusement before moving to stand directly before her, his warm breath making her cold cheeks tingle. 

“Well doll-face, me and you are definitely gonna get along.” He flashed her a wink before stepping towards the door of the pub once more. He turned to glance at her over his shoulder as he realised she hadn’t moved from her spot. “Coming?” 

Love is fatal, 

won't you give it a chance?

Y/N clutched the letter between tense fingers, her nails slowly tearing into the paper as a sneer made it’s way to her blue lips. Another day, another letter from her mother, and another from her father. Seperate letters from seperate people yet holding almost identical messages. There was no questions of how she was, where she was, what she’d been up to. She was great by the way, freezing her ass off in a blizzard of a forest with the constant blasts of artillery blowing the trees to smithereens, thanks for asking. Hell, she would have been happier to recount every gruesome and traumatising kill she’d made since dropping into the war in intense detail than have to reply to them regarding their problems. 

Your mother did this again; I wish i’d never met him; She’s getting on my last fucking nerve; He’s the worst man i’ve ever met; She’s lucky I go away so often on business trips; Business trips my ass, he’s still cheating so i’ll be sure to do the same; Nasty piece of work she is; He’s lucky his money is more attractive than he is.

An aching pain enveloped her chest, causing her to bite into her lip to hold back the emotions that threatened to spill from her eyes. She could never understand it, why a child should have to listen to the immaturities of their parents who were in no means compatible, it wasn’t like she’d asked for them to birth her in a bid to save their already abysmal marriage. Fat lot that did anyway. She was the kid for fuck sake, so why must she be the one that has to baby them. 

Her parents had always been like this; jealous, spiteful, childish people. Once she had believed it had been her fault, maybe her appearance on the family tree had caused a rift between them. Now she knew that wasn’t the case, especially after the history lessons from extended family members that they’d always been like that, they were just heedless to one another; always had been, always would be. The question had been asked so many times, whispers in the dark of why they even bothered to stay if it wasn’t working. There were two reason for this, one from each side and sadly neither being her. Her mother was a beautiful woman, covered in beautiful garments, driving beautiful cars, seen at only the most beautiful of places; beautifully expensive. Her father was a successful man, with a successful job, a successful marriage and a successful reputation; a successful lie. Her mother was greedy, money hungry and spiteful while her father was envious, power hungry and short tempered. The money was enough for her mother to stay and the dazzling reputation with the chance to be dominant was enough for her father. 

Now don’t go getting her wrong, her parents weren’t bad people, mostly. They both had many redeeming qualities, ones that seemed to shine through in their daughter, however, the bad qualities just happened to be seen more commonly from her point of view. They did love her underneath all of that malice. She often asked how she, herself, could be so selfish as to think her life was hard when they’d given her a home, all the clothes and trinkets she’d asked for, and paid for an expensive private school. Some may have looked at this with raised eyebrows and questioned whether that was for her or for their reputation, however, Y/N would continue to turn a blind eye, refusing to tarnish the views she had of her parents more than they already do themselves. They’d given her everything she’d ever asked for except for one thing; a loving family. They gave her a home but it was broken, spoilt her with things but they were meaningless, given her an education many would kill for but it was pointless. They were selfish, and they always would be. They may have loved her but they loved themselves more. 

Y/N had woken up to this now, no longer pulling a cover over her eyes in hopes she could keep the good parts of her parents and ignoring the bad. Now, she had her own feeling of malice. Her upper lip twitched as she let the anger take over, grasping at the top of the paper with both hands and tearing it down the middle. She continued to rip the letter until it was just tiny pieces in her palms, letting it blow away with the wind that swept past her with a huff of resentment. She’d gone so long pretending things were okay in hopes they would be eventually, but she had grown up now, seeing death and war and hatred on a scale she never thought she’d ever have to. Growing up wasn’t a choice here, it was a requirement; just another condition of war.

“Can practically see the steam coming outta your ears, must be a hot mess up in that head of yours.” Came a voice from behind her, a pair of boots coming to a halt at the edge of the dug in pit.

“You know me Joey, just fighting the enemies in my brain the same as I do in the field.” She teased with a smirk, trying to throw him off asking further as to her sudden burst of rage. He rolled his eyes at her, knowing her enough to know what she was doing, dropping down into the frozen foxhole beside her and pulling her into his side. Her eyes stayed on the line, yet her rifle lowered as she let herself slip under his arm for a bit of warmth and comfort.

“What’s eatin’ yah doll?” He muttered into her hair, her eyes unseeing to the way he looked down at her with such adoration.

“The less you know the better.” She hadn’t meant the comment in anyway against him, quite the opposite actually yet the words seemed to sting like salt in a wound. A part of her was trying to protect him from the absolute chaos of her broken family, but all he could hear was a woman in refusal of his care. He ran his tongue across his teeth, holding himself back from snarking something at her like he usually would to anyone else. The problem was that she wanted him to say something, anything to ease her aching chest, however both seemed to be met with disappointment. They’d continued to sit there together, pressed against one another for just a little bit of heat while they both found themselves lost in their own thoughts; her about her fucked up family and him about the woman snuggled against his side.

Center of attention,

don't you ask me any questions

The fight in Foy had been rough and though it had rewarded them with the show of a new CO in Captain Speirs, it had also taken from them several casualties, one of which was Y/N. It hadn’t been a big deal compared to others but the ricochet wound to the shoulder and bullet graze to the neck had the woman cursing the most colourful words as she shoved herself to the wall of a building, away from sight of the sniper.

The aid station had been worse than the pain of her wounds. The cries of dying men calling from their mothers, the squelching of blood as nurses were stuck up to their elbows in someone’s torso to pinch an artery, and the mumbled prayers to God to save the men who were honestly already too far gone made up a harmonious symphony of pain and suffering. A sour taste invaded Y/N’s mouth as she sat there getting her wounds wrapped, her eyes travelling over as many of the men around her as she could before settling on the nurse in front of her. She was beautiful, and aside from the dirt, grime and blood that covered certain parts of her skin and uniform, the woman had looked like an angel sent from the heavens. Y/N had watched her closely as she worked on mending her injured shoulder, whispering sweet nothings into her ear as she’d winced in pain. She had imagined the feeling of this woman being her mother, caring, tentative, gentle, throwing her own mind into a world completely made up to ease the pain that plagued her mind. 

Y/N returned to her company the three days later after an argument with the same nurse she’d watched with awe. She fought with her words rather than her rifle but fight she did to be let go from the aid station, using the point that if she was able to stand, move, and grasp at things without difficulty and only a little pain than she was simply a wasted body taking up a bed needed for someone else. The nurse had pursed her lips with an angry huff and shake of her head before storming off, letting the woman walk off with a smirk on her face. That was more like the actions of the mother she knew.

She looked on as the trucks pulled up in the distance before her, a smile rising to her lips as she caught sight of her platoon jumping from them. She spotted Joe and Babe chatting to one another and sighed in relief about her best two boys being safe before jumping from the jeep that had pulled up behind the line of four wheelers. The urge to run to the two men had filled her but she held herself back and focussed on her mission to find Winters or Speirs and inform them of her inevitable return. 

The woman made her way into the building that had been pointed out to her to be headquarters, her feet stomping against the wood to rid herself of the icy snow that caked itself to her boots as she entered. Three familiar faces were present in the room she walked into, as well as one unfamiliar one. 

“Lip, I told you those cigarettes were going to catch up to you.” Y/N teased as she witnessed the man hack up the mucus from his lungs, moving to him to gently pat his back and run her fingers through his slightly damp hair. He smiled up at the woman, pulling her onto the couch beside his legs to keep her down.

“Very funny Y/N. Now what the hell are you doing back here? You should be at the aid station.” He replied, his voice tired and husky. She shrugged her shoulders, wincing as she forgot about the stitched wound on one before tucking Lip in with the blanket Luz had just placed over the man’s body.

“Nurses said I had to come back and look after my boys before they lost it without me. Though in all honesty, George looks like he’s taken the mantle of ultimate mother hen in our absences.” The man in question raised his hand with a smile from the small kitchenette attached to the room where he had been making Lip a coffee.

“Just making sure you didn’t have a bigger mess to come back to Y/N.”

“How very thoughtful of you sweetheart.” She flashed him a cheeky grin before her eyes moved to the two other figures in the room, her expression dropping slowly.

“Hey Web, long time, no see.” The man nodded at her while replying with a greeting of hello, his eyes looking towards the Lieutenant who stood abnormally upright in the corner, her gaze following. The officer had already been staring at the woman in a well-hidden look of shock or awe, she didn’t know. A small smirk overtook her lips as she eyed him up and down, standing slowly with a hand outstretched.

“You must be the new lieutenant, pleased to meet you Sir.” She almost purred, trying to rile up the fresh meat for a little bit of entertainment. He seemed to stand even straighter as he took her hand, shaking firmly while discreetly trying to figure the woman out with his eyes. He went to open his mouth to reply only for their CO to saunter in, his gaze finding her immediately. Speirs sighed, stopping before her.

“You just can’t stay away can you.”

“You can take the woman out of the war but can’t take the war out of the woman Sir.” He shook his head with the faintest of smirks before nodding towards the door.

“Head back to second, i’m sure they’ll be happy to have you back.”

“Yes Sir.” She said with one final salute before heading towards the door, but not without a last smirk at the new kid, who watched her until she had completely disappeared. Lipton and Luz made eye contact, both with looks of amusement, with Speirs glancing at the two before following their moving gazes to the man. A smirk drew to his lips as he clicked to his eyes following the woman, opening his mouth to voice his thoughts.

“She will eat you up and spit you back out lieutenant. Best not to go there.”

The woman had made it to second platoon’s housing without an issue, ignoring the sound of explosions that weren’t close enough to disrupt her. Following the voices she could hear, she trailed up the stairs, wandering into the room with one shoulder pulled back slightly more than the other as she tried to square them off with confidence. A quiet snort left her nose as she listened to some of the men in a playful argument about who knows what before stepping towards them, unnoticed.

“Ladies, ladies, you’re all pretty, now stop arguing.” She exclaimed causing all the men to turn to her, smiles tugging to their lips as they moved towards her, each with something different to say.

“AYE, she’s back from the dead.”

“How was your vacation sunshine?”

“Looks like you forgot to rest up during your stay at the day spa.”

The woman chuckled at their words before she was cut short by someone tugging her into their arms, careful of her injuries. She inhaled his scent immediately, relaxing under his arm yet her eyes were held squinted over his shoulder at the men behind quietly snickering to themselves. She sent them all a warning with her gaze while he pulled away from her, her expression changing to a dazzling smile as soon as he could see her face once more.

“You miss me Joey?” 

“Piss off doll-face, you know I did.” He replied with a snarky tone but the smile on the corner of his lips said otherwise about his mood. She just looked back at him with a sly tilt of her lips that could rival even his infamous smirk.

“I certainly do.”

Go on and light me like a cigarette,

even if it might be something you regret,

you got me now, now, now,

swallow me down, down, down, down

The new officer had been in Liebgott’s bad books as soon as he’d wandered up the stairs behind Webster. His constantly straying gaze would find the only woman in the room a little too often for Joe’s liking, leading him to hold a unwavering sneer on his face for the rest of the day. His bad mood had impacted everyone, except Y/N of course, with his snarky comments and biting looks giving them a heads up to not push him any further. This lieutenant, however, did not know the solider enough to be able to read the expression of aggravation upon his face. 

Y/N had picked up on the pair of eyes that watched her, a tell tale sign being the smirk that barely left her lips, this sending an even deeper feeling of resentment through Joe’s body. There hadn’t been any meaning behind her previous look at the new kid, it was more of a sizing up of what she had to work with. She had simply been playing a game, no harm done, aside from the fact that there had, in fact, been some harm done. 

Joe had trudged back up the stairs after being dismissed from the patrol across the river in favour of Webster, his mood boosted just the slightest. Y/N had been propped up on a bed upstairs, book in hand as she had been ordered to rest by the extremely persistent Doc Roe. She jumped when Joe threw himself down beside her, so engrossed in the words on the page before her to realise he’d arrived.

“Hey Joey, what’re you doing back here so soon? Thought they needed you for prep for tonight’s patrol?” The man laid his chin on the woman’s shoulder as she asked, his eyebrows knitting together as he tried to understand the words splayed in the book before him.

“Hm? Oh they don’t need me anymore. Looks like you don’t get any ‘me time’ after all. Yah stuck with me for the night.”

“Oh how very disappointing.” She teased. He let out a huff as he side-eyed her over her shoulder. The woman’s mind reeled as she pretended to read her book, her thoughts of the man beside her clearly being pissed at the new kid, and all the reasons that could be for. She made up her mind in that moment, her eyes squinted as she chose her words carefully. 

“I would have loved to spend some one on one time with the greenie in all honesty. That’s a shame.” She tested teasingly, but Joe’s eyes had turned dark immediately, his lips twitching to hold back the sneer that threatened to come back.

“Oh yeah? What’s so interesting about him anyway?”

“Hm, well he’s an officer, a man with power is pretty attractive. He’s got such dreamy eyes too, he really has me blushing any time i catch him staring. And oh my goodness he’s clean and doesn’t smell like shit like the rest of you sorry sods.” The man’s face slowly relaxed as he realised she had been playing with him, rolling his eyes before giving her a gentle shove to her uninjured shoulder.

“You’re such a little tease.” He muttered as he looked down at the woman who’d let her body fall to the bed dramatically as if he’d pushed her much harder. She turned her eyes to him as he made the comment, the slyest of smirks slinking to her lips.

“You haven’t seen nothing yet Joey.” His eyebrows raised at this while discreetly gulping down words he would love to say to her in that moment. His mind tried desperately to capture the imagine of the woman in front of him, her hair splayed out around her like a halo, a cheeky smile pulled to her lips. She watched him carefully, trying to gauge where his head was at as she seemed to lose him for a minute or two. “Joey? Come back to me honey.” She said while sitting up, her face close to his as her eyes wandered his face. He blinked several times, clearing away the haze of his thoughts only to realise how close she had gotten to him. 

Her breath had hitched slightly while their eyes stayed locked, both with pupils blown. He leant down so suddenly to capture her lips that she barely had a chance to react when he pulled away again, his eyes asking if this was okay. She was the one to initiate the second kiss, her hands moving to grasp at his neck to pull him to her, their lips meeting harshly. They lay there for a minute, melting together in their own little world. She had stopped herself short then, her bottom lip grazing his when she pulled back as they stared at each other with wild eyes. I am so going to regret this.

I only light up when cameras are flashing,

never enough and no satisfaction

got no shame,

I love the way you're screaming my name

The room felt significantly warmer than she was used to as she let out another breathy sigh. Her skin was slightly damp, hair sticking to her forehead while she withered under his touch. His fingers had gripped so tightly at her hips that bruises were sure to form, holding her to the bed as she so desperately tried to grind herself forwards to where his head had been tucked in between her thighs. He worshipped the woman, praying to her on his knees like she was a god, her moaning becoming more frequent and higher in pitch as he did.

“JOE!” She screamed his name as she reached her peak, a sharp inhale sounding as her back arched, ignoring the slight pain that she could feel in her shoulder while it pressed into the bed as it added more to the sensations she was feeling. She threw her head back against the mattress, her eyes screwing shut in pure bliss. He had smirked from his place still between her legs while watching her wriggle under his grasp, a proud look on his features. A woman like her deserved only the best, so his best is what he gave her. 

Y/N came down from her high slowly, her breath becoming more regular before her eyes finally opened again. She had glanced down to him just in time to see him wipe his thumb across his lips before taking it in his mouth, sucking it clean. Her stomach clenched hungrily before she leant forward to grab him by the front of his neck, tugging him to her lips. Neither were gentle with each other as their tongues fought harshly against one another. Joe had groaned at the thought of her tasting herself on his lips as his own hand came to grab at her throat. Her naked body lay below the man, the only thing between them being the pair of pants that he had yet to take off himself. Her hands had crept slowly down his body before one slipped under the waistband of the fabric keeping them apart, his breath catching in his throat as she took ahold of him. 

Joe hadn’t been patient, and as soon as her hand had come in contact with him, he had jumped back, ripping the clothes from his body before pressing back against her, completely nude. Y/N moaned as his hardened cock had come in contact with her core, quiet begging leaving her mouth shortly after. The man smirked down at her, his eyes softening at the beauty that was this woman, her pretty pink lips pleading for him to take her. She reached up again, wanting the feeling of his lips on hers once more while her legs moved to wrap around his hips, opening herself up to him fully. They had let out simultaneous moans, and Joe a following curse, as he eased his way into her, hands moving to cup at her breasts, squeezing like his life depended on it. His head came down to rest on her collarbone, her hands moving to the hair on the back of his neck as they sat for a moment, both getting use to the feeling of each other.

“Look so pretty underneath me doll. Taking me so well.” He managed to mutter into her shoulder as he began to thrust carefully, using her face as a gauge of how hard he could push. A curse left her lips, followed shortly by a moan, her mouth hanging open in pleasure causing Joe’s eyes to roll back into his head as he bit at her uninjured shoulder. 

The room echoed with the sounds of heavy breathing and his hips meeting hers as he became relentless, pushing in and out of her with so much power it was almost on the verge of pain. She had relished in the feeling though, her fingernails running down his back harshly as she tried to pull him as close as possible. 

“Fuck Joey.” Y/N mumbled into his ear, his lips pulling to a smirk as his name left her lips so lustfully. 

“Say it again Y/N.”

“Hm?” Was all she could say as it mixed with a moan.

“I want you to say my name again. Scream it.” He said with a particularly harsh thrust, her breath catching in her throat half way through her inhale. A whine left her lips as she proceeded to do as she was told, letting his name tumble from her mouth in between senseless moans as she found herself growing closer and closer to her high. He groaned greedily at the sound, while savouring the feeling of her beginning to clench around him. His hand came to rest back over her throat as he lowered his face to her, pressing a firm kiss to her lips. “Such a good girl for me.” He whispered against her mouth to which she just replied with a whimper and a soft bite to his lower lip. He smiled down at her as he pulled away, his thumb moving from her jugular to her lower lip. 

They had both passed the point of sweaty as the air around them hung with moisture. Joe had felt it as she neared her peak, her body clenching so deliciously around his cock as he continued to pound into her. He whispered to her for her to cum for him while his unoccupied hand moved to rub at her clit. His head had thrown back at the same time as her as he felt a shudder ripple through her body accompanied by a loud scream of his name as she had before. His hips had stuttered while he felt her come undone for him, as he too reached his high, pulling out to release on her breasts. 

Y/N had been the first to come down from her high as she opened her eyes to see Joe fallen beside her, breathing heavily. She had reached over to the floor, picking up the dirty tshirt she had replaced that day with a new uniform, and using it to wipe down her chest. She placed herself back down beside the man as he came back to earth, his eyes turning to meet hers. 

“You, Joey, are one hell of a man.” They smiled at each other before a giggle left her lips as he grabbed her, pulling her to his chest.

“Only for you doll.” He’d mumbled and if she hadn’t have already been so tired from their previous activities, she might have let herself be worried about the sentiment that came with that comment but instead decided to ignore the weird feeling in her stomach. They lay there for several hours, naked bodies pressed to one another as they basked in the feeling of warmth and satisfaction. Joe had watched her as she fell asleep, her head tucked away in his neck while her breath tickled his chest. He had pressed a delicate kiss to her head as he felt himself beginning to slip away; oh how she had caught this man in her web.

Diggin' my grave to get a reaction

changing my face and calling it fashion

got no shame,

I love the way you're screaming my name

Second platoon were finally given some form of respite for a fleeting moment when they arrived to Germany as the trucks drove along the road to their new location. Joe and Y/N sat pressed against one another, exchanging amused small talk and making fun of Webster who sat on the opposite side of the man. The man in question rolled his eyes dramatically before turning to Perconte beside him and muttering a frustrated ‘there’s fucking two of them’, to which they traded similar smirks of entertainment. 

It was when Joe begun talking to Webster about home that Y/N felt herself shrivel up into herself, dismay making a home under her skin. She tried her best to listen while pushing to suppress the feelings that welled up inside her, yet her ears seemed to subconsciously pick up on a piece of conversation leaving Joe’s mouth.

“-then i’m gonna buy a house, a big house, for all the little Liebgott’s we’re gonna be making.” Her stomach seemed to twist with something she couldn’t quite understand at that comment, a strange sense of envy of someone who was but an idea in Joe’s current life. She racked her mind for reasons as to why she was so uneasy, flashes of her parents coming to mind. Memories of the jealousy fuelled fights emerged in front of her, painting a saddening story of two people who shouldn’t be together, thus sending a spike of worry to snake its way to her heart.

He glanced at her after the words left his mouth yet she seemed completely oblivious and stuck in her own head, an action not missed by Webster as he lowered his head to smirk at the two. Joe’s look of longing had quickly turned to a look of concern as he watched her brows crease in confusion and a flicker of something sad seemed to dull her eyes for a moment. An idea made its way to his head while a smile suddenly rose to Joe’s lips as he reached out, proceeding to grab her gently by the waist, his fingers wiggling. A surprised screech left her lips as the tickling sensation began, her mind leaving its tunnel visioned scene to pull her harshly back to reality. She swatted at his hands but he was relentless as laughter filled the air from the both of them, though hers had been forced from her in the cruelest of ways.

“JOE!” Y/N yelped through choked laughter as his fingers dug into her sides, her body jerking to get away from the man and his tickling hands. She pushed herself away from him, trying to jump across the truck towards Luz only to be pulled once again into his arms. More laughter came from her lips as tears began to fall from her eyes, her sides aching from how much she had been giggling. “JOE! HA! STOP! I’M CRYING.” The sound of the man in question chuckled in amusement, causing most of the men to look at the two with sly smirks while others, like Webster, rolled their eyes with expressions of frustration, hiding the delight they had from the two’s laughter. He called to them, causing them to pull away from one another as he asked for a timeout. Joe sent one last poke into the woman’s side before pulling himself back to his seat, his eyes never leaving her figure. She glanced at him with squinted eyes, recovering her breathing slowly while sending a swift smack to the side of his head. Joe laughed as his head turned from her for second before he came right back, his eyes glistening with an unspoken mirth.

“You are a pain in the ass.” Y/N mumbled, crossing her arms in front of her with a pout while looking away from the man. 

“Awh, don’t be like that doll.” He replied, sending a gentle poke to her cheek. Joe continued this to the point of annoyance when she finally threw her hand up to smack his hand away with a hiss. He laughed again, causing a warm feeling to swell in her chest, the smallest of smiles tugging on her lips as she tried desperately to stay looking mad. He caught the look, regardless of her attempt to cover it, his arm throwing itself over her shoulder before pulling her to his chest, exclaiming a loud ‘mwah’ as he pressed a kiss to her hair. “You fucking love me, don’t deny it.” He meant it as a tease, yet the immediate seizing up of her muscles and the shoot of discomfort in her stomach showed she’d caught more in the words. A sense of bitterness crept up in her spine at the sentiment, yet her body fought with her mind to let his arm stay where it was. Don’t tell me not to deny it, because I will.

Lay me in the palm of your hand,

I'll give you my permission,

you'll always be forgiven

Austria was beautiful; the scenery, the peace and quiet, but most importantly to the men was the women. The trucks had pulled in that day, driving past several local women who stood smiling brightly, as if the sun was projecting light from their glowing faces. Y/N felt the discomfort settle even deeper in her stomach, much stronger than it had earlier on the trucks, her mind throwing insults at her, comparing their fresh faces and softly flowing hair to her constantly grimy cheeks and lost cause of a hairdo. The feeling only grew as she watched Joe holler loudly at them as the other men were, a sly smirk on his lips. 

The woman was almost at a breaking point, the confusion, frustration, jealousy, dismay, and sadness constantly setting such an unknown and uncomfortable feeling in her body. And yet, it was the added confusion, joy, comfort, pleasure, and warmth that made her feel even worse, like fuel thrown over wood to start a fire; and Joe Liebgott was the fucking match.

Joe’s head had whipped around to make a snarky comment at the woman but he stopped short seeing the look that covered her features. He watched her for a minute, taking note of the tension in her jaw, the way it clenched and relaxed every few seconds, as well as the way her teeth chewed on her bottom lip. The smallest of smiles accompanied with a the common look of adoration covered the man’s face again as his eyes never left the plumpness of her lips.

“Don’t look at me like that.” She muttered lowly, Joe’s brows creasing in confusion at the statement. She had glanced at him while he was lost in his own world, admiring the way she looked while thinking, and recognised the way he was gazing at her all starry eyed. It scared her, feeling like an unnecessary punch to the gut.

“Look at you like what?” He asked, his eyes swimming with concern and confusion yet an undertone of pure adoration flickered the longer he stared at her. She clenched her fists by her side, trying to ease the tension she felt building in her as she swallowed the need to just grab him by the shoulders and yell at him to stop.

“Like that.” She replied after a gulp, her head nodding towards him as she did.

“I’m just looking at you Y/N. I’m confused.”

Go on, replace me,

when you're craving something sweeter

than the words I left in your mouth,

go on and spit me out

The local Austrian bar half the company found themselves in that afternoon while off duty was a warm comfort unlike any place they’d seen in recent months. The liquor flowed plentifully down the throats of many of the joyful men that sat talking to one another, their eyes following the figures of several women who had come to say they’d been smiled at by the American soldiers. Y/N perched herself on a stool beside Grant, and previously Floyd who had left them to flirt with a local girl, as they chatted animatedly while sharing a pint, smiles never leaving their faces. 

Y/N’s gaze fell over the environment with a look of curiosity at the idea of the oncoming peace that swept over everyone before it had even arrived. Her eyes  strayed several times to the man seated by Skinny and Webster by the window, painting a similar scene of enjoyment as her and Grant had found themselves. This was something the man beside her picked up on as he snorted into her beer in amusement, pulling her eyes to him. She screwed up her face in confusion at his behaviour before taking a sip of her own drink.

“Do tell what’s got you giggling Grant?”

“I just think it funny, you and Liebgott.” The man said, flicking his gaze between the two of them.

“What do you mean ‘you and Liebgott’? Me and Liebgott what?” Y/N asked, her eyebrows drawing further towards one another, her forehead creasing with frown lines.

“You guys...together. It’s an interesting pairing.” 

“Together? The fuck does that mean?”

"You guys being together...as a couple?" Grant looked confused and borderline uncomfortable at this point, unsure where the conversation was going and why the woman was reacting as she was.

"What? You nuts?" She all but screeched, a few heads turning before looking away quickly after receiving a sneering glare from the woman who was growing more stressed by the second.

"What? So you're not?" 

"How long-how long you been thinking this?" 

"I don’t know, I overheard Luz saying to Perconte bout how he’s talked about it with most of the other guys, just kinda assumed..." Y/N’s heart dropped to her stomach for some reason at this revelation, panic setting into her bones as she scrounged up some kind of escape plan. Her fight or flight seemed to flare up almost as much as it would while in the field, her breath increasing in growing worry. This is what she wanted...was it?

“Everyone...thinks Joe and I are together...more than friends?” She muttered to herself, her brain running thoughts through her head at speed, like a bullet from a chamber until it could hit the centre of a target. Her spine straightened suddenly, giving Grant the slightest of frights as his eyes continued to watch her movements as she stood quickly. Her feet took a step forward towards Floyd who stood leaning against a wall, smiling down at a woman who seemed to be fluttering her lashes at him. He spun around in a flash as Y/N had shouted his name, heads turning to look at her from all angles of the bar. He barely had a chance to mutter a word before she pulled his face to hers, planting a firm kiss to his lips. Her panic drove her to madness as she clutched at the idea of anything to calm her frightened nerves. Floyd hummed in shock for a moment before melting to the woman’s lips, his hands moving to grasp her waist almost aggressively. The two had stood wrapped up in each other even after they’d heard the harsh slam of the bar door, until eventually a voice called to her gently. 

Y/N was reluctant to pull away as she savoured the feeling of another’s lips on hers, the taste of cigarettes and beer inhaling her fully for a split second from the reality of things. She pulled away at another call of her name, recognising the voice to be Babe, Floyd’s eyes asking so many questions as she stared at him for a moment. He let worry take over him as she saw the almost distraught look on her face, her mind running so fast that she couldn’t distinguish any of her emotions from each other; and god was it driving her mad.

Y/N barely glanced at Babe or anyone else for that matter as she stumbled backwards and sprinted out of the bar back to her room, only taking notice of the absence of one man. Babe looked at where she disappeared from for a moment before making eye contact with an equally confused Floyd whoo simply shrugged his shoulders in defeat. The man sighed before shaking his head, inevitably knowing she wanted him to follow her as he took off in a run out the door.

Y/N let out a loud sigh as she wandered down the hallway to her room, Babe close on her heels as he tried to talk to her to calm the frustrated woman. She felt his presence yet heard nothing that came from his lips as her mind swallowed itself whole, throwing her into a swirling pool of ‘what ifs’ and ‘why the fucks’. More flashes of her parents came to her, hard and so goddamn fast that she almost felt dizzy; a technicolour of jealousy, spite, pain, misery. It ate at her, and she wanted nothing more than for it to just stop. She just wanted to feel anything but this; anything. They approached the door quickly as the woman let out a huff, throwing the door open and taking a step inside. She turned towards the man with her, her hand resting on the edge of the door, holding it open for him while he hesitated to step in.

“You coming in or you just going to stand there like an idiot?”

“Is this really a good idea, I mean, isn’t Joe already upset enough.”

“That isn’t my problem, he knows we’re nothing more than friends just like I am with you. You didn’t get jealous when I kissed Tab so why should he have the right to?” She all but spat, growing impatient as she tried to ignore every other feeling in her brain, guilt from her harsh words about Joe now added on top of that. The young man sighed when he realised nothing he was going to say was going to change her mind, throwing his head back to look at the ceiling as if asking God for forgiveness in advance. 

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you Y/N.” He replied, looking back at her as she stepped towards him, grasping at his tie and tugging him to her.

“Stop talking and fuck me already Babe.”

There hadn’t been any talking from that point on aside from the occasional mumble of slurred curses from Babe as she grabbed at him, allowing her to have her way with him in a way he shouldn’t have. The two of them had always been so carefree about their little arrangement, just another plus of their close friendship and nothing more, but as he took her how he always had he felt the guilt build up in his stomach. Joe had become one of his closest friends bar the woman who was currently withering in ecstasy underneath him and the feeling ate him alive as much as he tried not to think about it. Babe had been the one Joe had confined in about Y/N and his feelings towards him and yet here he was, groaning in pleasure as he touched the woman in ways good friends should not. 

Y/N was in a similar state of confusion and guilt. Her mind ran a thousand miles an hour as she tried to suppress the urge to compare the two men she had been rolling around the sheets with, yet it had constantly come back to the man who had plagued her thoughts for weeks in ways he shouldn’t. Her confusion stemmed from the emotion that bubbled in her chest at the idea of the day she’d had, the green-eyed monster that had stirred in her at the sight of the pretty, blonde Austrian girl so close to someone who wasn’t hers. All this flew through her head as she lay beneath the body of another and it infuriated her. Why? Why was she so caught up on the man? Why was he any different to the men she’d been with before and why was she so wrapped up in the idea of him?

Y/N and Babe spent the rest of the afternoon pressed against one another’s bodies, both trying to gulp down the torturous feelings of guilt that nagged at them. When the man pulled his clothes back on slowly, his eyes wandered to the figure still lying on the bed, her chin resting on her hand with a far away look on her face. He pursed his lips, wondering if he should bring up Joe and continue their previous argument but had decided against it, finishing lacing his boots up before walking towards the door. His back faced her, his hand resting on the doorknob as he paused for a moment. Running his tongue over his top teeth, he glanced back one more time, staring at the woman who hadn’t moved since he’d stood to get dressed before shaking his head and ripping the door open. Y/N didn’t even look towards the door as he shut it, her lip pulling between her teeth as she tried to fight the feelings of disgust and guilt she had towards herself. Babe took two steps away from her door fixing his hair and straightening his clothes before he looked up from his shoes. His eyes found their place on a figure standing at the end of the hall, hands clenched into fists and nostrils flaring in rage. Joe shook his head while letting out a chuckle of disappointment, an unamused smirk pulling to his lips before turning and storming off down the stairs, leaving Babe standing wide eyed and deflated.

I only light up when cameras are flashing,

never enough and no satisfaction

Y/N had been feeling the weight of her emotions beginning to tip dangerously far to one side of the scale, her mind ready to explode at the addition of any extra stress. Joe had yet to speak to the woman in a few days, so it was to everyones shock and surprise that he had been the first to jump at the chance to defend her honour. In the state of chaos, Y/N followed the man outside to talk to him as he rushed out the door of the bar, her mouth opening to yell as soon as she left the warm of the indoors.

“Why the fuck did you do that Joe? He was twice your size.” She yelled after him, her feeting picking up the pace to reach him. Joe spun around immediately, his face still red from rage.

“You should have heard the things he said about you Y/N. What else was I supposed to do?” He countered, fists clenched at his side. 

“You don’t need to defend me like that for fucks sake, i’m not a child.” She replied harshly, feeling the scales tip as the emotions begun to slid off the uneven surface and escape her mouth. Joe let out a huff, an unamused smile on his face as he ran a hand through his hair, tugging the ends harshly.

“Nothing I do ever seems to be enough for you.” He spat, surprising her as he’d never spoken to her with such a tone.

“Wh-what?” She stuttered out quietly. He just stood still, staring directly at her without an answer. Her frustration grew as everything started to implode on itself. “What do you want from me?” 

“What do I want from you? I’ve given you fucking everything, Y/N. Everything I have, everything I am, I’ve given it to you.” Joe said with his voice raising higher in volume with every word he spoke.

“I never asked you to do that for me Joe. I’m not fucking yours so stop acting like I am.” Y/N replied, pointing at herself as she did. The man let out a yell of frustration to the sky before taking several steps closer to her.

“LOVING YOU HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH POSSESSING YOU! I JUST WANT YOU TO LOVE ME BACK.” He screamed at her, a visible vein popping along his forehead at the tension he held in his body. He stopped short at her taken aback look, his body loosening slightly while his eyes seemed to begin to swim with tears. “Just-just a little bit of your love, that’s all I want. Fuck Y/N, i’d continue to let you walk all over me, be with these other guys no matter how much it fucking hurts just for the sake of being able to see that there’s a little space on your heart with my name written on it.” He all but whispered the last part to her while watching her face so intently for a reaction. The woman didn’t know what to say, her mouth only opening and closing like a fish out of water as she pondered his words. “Forget it. This was a mistake and I really can’t do it anymore.”

Y/N thought she had been forcing herself to bleed so he wouldn’t have to, yet it had been him taking a knife to the heart, and even a few to the back, the whole time while she stood with her hand clutching the handle. She’d told herself to stay away from him when he started getting too close, played around with other guys in hopes he would leave before he’d have to see the ugly side she hid away. She’d gotten jealous about someone who was yet to be in Joe’s life yet kissed Tab in front of everyone to prove a point she wasn’t even sure she needed to make, continued to sleep with Babe even after he’d brought up that it wasn’t a good idea. She’d done all of it in hopes that he would lose the adoration in his eyes when he looked at her so she wouldn’t get the chance to act like the abysmal role models of ‘love’ that were her parents; and yet that is exactly what she did. 

She knew in that moment she should let him go, for the both of them, yet something inside of her seemed to jump out and take ahold of the reigns, pushing her body to throw a hand out to grab his shoulder.

“No, no Joe please. I don’t want you to go, I want you to stay, please stay.” Her eyes were swimming with tears at this point, much like the set of eyes that turned to looked back at her. He shook his head, screwing his face up as a single tear fell along his cheek. 

“Just another thing you want in spite of how others are feeling, huh Y/N?”

He walked away from her with hast, another hidden tear slipping down his cheek while he got lost in his own thoughts. The problem with a woman like Y/N is that he knew he would continue to love her, even if it had to be from afar.

Got no shame,

I love the way you're screaming my name

“JOE! PLEASE!” Y/N screamed after him as she felt the sudden burst of emotion flowing out of her, taking long strides to grab at him again. He threw his arm out of her grasp, spinning around to tell her to piss off but stopped short with a gulp. The broken look on her face is something he hadn’t seen on her before; pain and sadness, happiness and joy, anger and malice all yes but never such a shattered look. A sob left her throat as she looked up at him, her fingers gripping at the sleeves of her shirt out of anxious habit. “Please, stay. Listen, that’s all I’m asking. If you still wanna walk away after that then I’ll-I’ll let you go, please. I can’t let you leave without trying.” She stuttered out, causing Joe to nod his slowly, taking his tongue between his teeth to stop him from biting back. “I can’t take back the shit i’ve done no matter how much I wish I could, but i’m trying my best to do better and I’m starting with this.” She continued before taking a deep breath. She recounted it all, the lies, the cheating, jealousy, spite, pain, grief, loneliness, greed, confusion, loss, solitude; all of it. Joe listened to it, taking it in as well as he could as she told him of her parents, her childhood and how she doesn’t know what the fuck she’s doing half the time but how she didn’t have any choice but to learn. His heart ached for the woman he loved and the emotion she was expressing to him, watched as every single thing she’d been holding in for so long was finally slipping from her eyes and down her face. He fell in love with her again, all over again, as he saw her now, raw and vulnerable, his Y/N. 

“If-if i could be a different person, could have lived a different life, trust me, I would have. I’ve never had good role models, never been shown how to love people without being greedy and hateful. I’ve only ever known how to take the good from people and spit them back out when I’m done with them. I’m-i’m still learning how to not be that person, but I am, I promise. I just-I just need someone to show me how.” Y/N said, several tears running down her cheeks as she did. Joe let his hand move to run his thumb over them to clear the salty liquid from her face, not liking the way she looked so lost.

“I was kinda hoping it would be you. If you’d have me.” She whispered to him, looking up at him almost sheepishly to see the smile that was slowly moving to his lips. 

“I thought you’d never ask. Cause god knows you’ve had me since day one.” He reached out in that moment, taking a hold of her waist before dipping down to meet her lips with his. They stood wrapped in one another arms for a few minutes, giving in to the feelings, giving in to each other. They pulled away from one another for a moment, their eyes never leaving each other as she muttered the next words, her lips ghosting over his.

“Take it. Take all of it. I don’t want the heart beating in my chest if your name isn’t written all over it.” 

[akkkkollle]

I really love the camboy hc! Can you make a Camboy! Manjiro plz?

Pairing: Mikey × M!Reader, Izana × M!Reader.

Words: 900+.

CW/TW: pet names, humiliation, praise, bondage, sex toys, pillow prince, dressing up, teasing.

Mikey.

So... He's lazy, he's very lazy. I think everyone understands this already. So I don't think his streams would be a very diverse thing. But why would he be popular? His fucking moans. He just has an amazing voice, so that's actually the reason.

Well, he's the prince of pillows, you can't argue with me (I mean Toman version of Manjiro, yes...). And everyone knows it, he almost never does anything. He just puts a vibrator on his dick and screams like the last bitch. 

His figure is just wow. His toned body is also just wow. But it's still so fragile, you can just bend it and it won't even resist.  

And he likes to demonstrate himself, this is an unequivocal opinion. He loves the attention and the feeling of being admired. 

He slowly turns on the bed in front of the camera, showing the suit on himself. He impatiently plops down on his lap, bouncing slightly due to the jump on the mattress. 

- Well? I'm handsome, right? Say I'm handsome, come on. - he whines impatiently when he doesn't get enough praise, although there have been millions of comments, but it's not enough for him. 

Oh, yes, he loves to dress up in something, because this way his figure seems to him and others, as he thinks, more beautiful. 

You are a very frequent guest on his streams, simply because he is too lazy to do everything on his own, so your hands (and not only) help him. 

- Mghm, M-m/n, too much! - he moans, grabbing your shoulder, squeezing it while his head rests on your shoulder. 

One of your hands is holding his knee, pushing his legs apart, exposing his cock and hole. The other hand is on his cock, jerking it off. His legs are shaking, already anticipating his 4th orgasm. And you're not even in him yet. 

- Stop, please... - you gradually stop the movement so that it would not be so unusual for him without the feeling of your hand. - I want you, now. In me, please. 

-Whatever you say, babe. - you say, lifting his body a little higher, lining up his stretched ass over your hard cock. 

After sex, he is very tired, clingy, sick and sleepy. And that never changes. 

-M/n! - he shouts. 

- No need to shout, I'm right here. - you say, stroking his shoulders, sometimes running your fingers through his fluffy strands. 

- I want to kiss. - you kiss him on the forehead when he looks up at you, but he just grumbles, grabbing your face and holding it to him. 

And another random headcanon that appeared in my head. Well, I think he has a kink for pleading and praise mixed with humiliation. So... 

- Oh, f-fuck, I b-beg you, mgm, let me cum, let me cuuum, I was such a good slut for you, r-right? - he whines, pressing his hips against you, while the chat literally explodes with messages from the hot view in front of them. 

- Of course, come on, my dear good... - you bend down to his ear, licking it, and whisper so that only he can hear. - ... slut.

Izana.

Fuck, well, he's a very strange person. At one moment he wants to completely dominate someone, and at another moment he wants to obey and cry, being under the same person. But it is his viewers who see only his dominant side, he just likes to subordinate, that's all. 

Its facade absolutely never collapses. No one will ever be able to see his submissive side, well, except for you, of course. Just one dominant look and all the comments are replaced on the desire for him to fuck their brains out. And he just gets this seductive, crazy grin. 

His body. He's great. But I don't really think he undresses too much on streams. He doesn't want anyone to see him completely naked, but his naked lower half is enough for everyone. 

He would never put on a suit for anything. No matter how nice they ask him, no matter what amount they give him, he simply won't do it. But still... 

- I still don't understand why you don't appear on streams in this, Zana. - you say, almost fleetingly touching the fabric of his robe. 

- Would you like it if I sat in front of everyone like this? - you just roll your eyes when you feel how he starts to rub against you lightly. 

- I don't want to. - you press his hips against yours, not allowing him to rub against the fabric of your trousers. - I want such a perverted "incubus" to belong only to me. 

- Well, you see? So be quiet and don't complain. 

You will never be a guest on his streams. And by never, I mean never. He won't show you at any price, but they will know about you, that's for sure. He will just compare them when he humiliates/teases them and so they will know that there is a certain M/n.

- Ha, fuck... - he moans as his fingers begin to move inside him, he bends them, trying to get to the right point, but he can't. - What, perverts? You want to be here and help me, right? No, I w-wouldn't let you even look at me. Only M/n..! Ah, mhg, damn! Ha... Can touch me. 

- What were you shouting ...? - you whisper, looking into the room, and slightly laughing at the sight in front of you. 

- Get out of here, you idiot! - he shouts, immediately moaning, feeling his fingers reach one of the pleasant points. 

Is it worth saying that after such antics of his and after his streams in general, he wants you to fuck him? (the boy misses you, you know) 

- Idiot, right, Zana? - you ask, stroking his cheek as he struggles with his bound hands. - Well, hush, doll. Which one of us is an idiot now? You're lying here all brains out, like they wanted. 

- H-harder, please. - he whimpers as the blush covers his cheeks even more.

[cutelittlestar]

Maniac: Chapter 2 || Peter Parker x Detective!Reader

Summary: You and Peter fondly reminisce, rekindling your fragile friendship; however, new information about the case is revealed, and you ultimately become convinced that the killer won’t stop until they complete their task...

Note: Firstly 👁👄👁 let’s ignore how late (or early) I posted. Secondly, thank you guys so much! It deeply warms my heart that so many of you liked what I wrote :’) I hope you enjoy this chapter as well. Also, I’ve decided to make Dylan O'Brien as Michael Romero cuz y not!! 😊😝🧚‍♀️✨  

FYI: lmk if the chapters are too long or too short. Feedback is accepted, but plz be nice :’) I’m a soft bitch. 

Warning(s): topics of death and murder, violence, blood, angst/fluff, cursing. MATURE CONTENT, 18+

Word Count: 8.3k 

Chapter 1

You continued to bite your fingernails in anticipation, your body hunched over the lunch table. Despite the numerous occasions Ned told you to think of something else, your mind always circled back to the same thought -more specifically- to the same person: Peter. You didn’t mean to develop feelings for your best friend, you tried so hard to push them away, but despite your attempts, they always came back. You groaned in frustration, anxious and scared that you wouldn’t be able to act the same way anymore. The way his eyes crinkled when he smiled or laughed brought an uneasy yet warm feeling in the pit of your stomach, the way his gentle touch ignited a flame in your chest made it hard to breathe, and it was driving you insane. Even unveiling this deep secret to Ned didn’t lessen the heartache you felt. You had to push these feelings aside; it didn’t matter the amount of pain you suffered, you would take this to the grave before you told Peter how you truly felt.

Peter would never admire you the way you admired him. 

“Y/N,” Ned sorrowfully said, heartbroken at how you were slowly being destroyed by this internal conflict. It hurt Ned that he couldn’t do anything to get rid of your pain, and no matter how many times Ned told you that you needed to tell Peter, you constantly rejected his proposition. You attempted to conceal your pained expression, removing your fingers away from your mouth, focusing your attention on the empty carton of milk. “I’m fine,” you replied back, not wanting to hear another lecture from Ned. “No, you’re not fine. You need to tell him, Y/N, before it’s too late,” Ned argued back, feeling a pang of guilt as he was keeping a secret from you. Ned was too scared to tell you that Peter was developing a crush for MJ, and if you waited any longer, Peter would never get to hear your deepest secret. 

You shook your head, starting to feel a bit irritated at Ned’s words. You directed your focus from the milk carton to stare Ned in the eyes; his eyebrows were furrowed and he had a pitiful expression. You knew Ned was only looking out for you, but you didn’t want to think of the aftermath. You didn’t want to tell Peter how you felt because you feared he didn’t reciprocate those feelings; you still wanted to be friends with Peter, and you didn’t want to ruin what you already had with him. 

“I can’t tell him,” you stated. Before Ned could say anything else, his eyes focused on something that was behind you. The sound of light footsteps heading your way notified you that Peter was walking towards the table, and you stared Ned with saddened eyes, pleading him to remain quiet about what you spoke about. Peter completely missed the silent conversation occurring between you and Ned, plopping down to the seat next to you, unaware of how tense your body became. 

“Hey guys, how were classes?” Peter innocently asked, taking out the lunch Aunt May made for him, unpacking his sandwich and taking a bite out of it. You remained silent, playing with the milk carton; Peter sent a look to Ned, to which Ned quickly dismissed with a shrug of his shoulders, wordlessly telling Peter to not further question your silence. Peter continued to bite his food, discreetly eyeing you as you took out a pen and began to doodle on the carton. 

“Classes were boring, as usual,” Ned confirmed, letting out a sigh of annoyance as he was unable to escape the life of a teenager. He softly kicked your leg under the table, making you pick up your head and send daggers his way; Ned acted like nothing happened, giving you a quick stare, mentally scolding you for ignoring Peter’s question. Peter took a drink out of his water bottle, not detecting the telepathic argument you were having with Ned. You shook your head, not wanting to talk, but Ned kicked you again, harder. 

You let out a sigh, putting the pen down on the table and turning your head towards Peter. “I failed my Calculus exam, so I’m a bit moody. Sorry for ignoring your question; I’m great by the way,” you quickly answered, dropping your head, attempting to avoid eye-contact. Peter swallowed the water, smiling at your apology. “No worries, Y/N. Mrs. Gomez is a tough grader, I’m sure you’ll do better on the next exam,” he sincerely responded, making your heart clench. God, he was so sweet even when you gave him the cold shoulder. Kill me, you softly whispered to yourself. 

Ned continued the conversation with Peter, redirecting Peter away from you; you added a few sarcastic comments here and there, making Peter smile and laugh at your remarks. No matter how hard you tried to minimize your interactions with Peter, you always found yourself closer to him than before. Your heart leaped in your chest as Peter held onto your shoulder in an attempt to not fall off his chair as he loudly laughed at Ned’s story. There was a moment of silence as Peter wiped his tears, letting out small fragments of his giggle as he tried to reel in his loud behavior; however, you absolutely adored him, even more, when he couldn’t control his laughter. It was like music to your ears. 

“Can I ask a question?” Peter spoke out, his tone becoming serious yet soft, afraid his friends would make fun of him; he was anxious, but he needed to get it off his chest since it’s been a burning question, making him eager to hear an honest reply. Peter quickly changed the topic, gaining the attention of Ned and yourself. Ned felt his body become stiff as he knew what Peter was going to exactly ask; before he can redirect the topic, you agreed, leaning your head against your hand as you looked at Peter, a smile on your lips. “Shoot.” 

Peter bit his lip, not knowing how to say what was on his mind. “Do you think I have a shot with MJ? Be honest,” Peter finally revealed, his face turning a shade of red as he waited for advice from his two closest friends. Ned attentively observed your reaction, seeing your smile disappear and your eyes glisten, but you quickly cleared your throat, replacing the frown with a simper. You wanted to cry right there, let the tears escape your eyes, but your face remained blank, making Peter anxious as he assumed you were going to tell him he had a low shot with MJ. While you were never going to tell him how you truly felt, you still felt extreme pain as Peter conveyed his question. MJ was such an intelligent girl; she was sarcastic, funny, truthful, and beautiful, and Peter admired every aspect of her. You could tell by the way his eyes sparkled when her name rolled off his tongue. You had no right to be so upset. 

How was Peter going to know you liked him if you never planned on letting him know? You ignored how your heart yelled at you to confess your feelings to Peter, but you kept your mouth shut, plastering a fake smile. 

“Peter, you are the kindest, smartest, funniest, sweetest, and bravest person I’ve ever met. MJ would be lucky to have you,” Ned frowned, noticing how you tried your hardest to maintain a calm and sturdy voice. You let out a soft sigh, “I think you should tell MJ how you feel.” Peter’s eyes flickered from worry to glee, your words giving him the confidence he lacked. No matter how much agony you endured when you told him, you felt more pain as you saw how much Peter appreciated what you said. The slight tint of his cheeks, the kind smile on his face, and the jitters Peter had made you realize that Peter deserved true happiness, even if it meant that he wasn’t going to be with you in the end.

“You think so?” Peter gushed, still having doubts that he had a chance with MJ. You nodded your head, placing your hand on Peter’s shoulder. 

“I know so,” you replied, softly squeezing Peter’s shoulder as a way to reassure him. Peter opened his mouth but no words came out; he turned to look at Ned, who hadn’t said a word, waiting for his response. Ned’s eyes darted back at you for a quick second and your eyes pleaded, indicating him to go along. Ned glanced back at Peter, a smile forming on his lips. “She’s right, Pete. You have to tell her,” Ned stated, attempting to hide how much it pained him to say those words. Peter’s grin was so wide, and it made you content that you were the reason for that; if MJ was the one who could bring the same smile, if not, even a brighter one, then Peter should be with her. 

“Crap,” you stated, standing up and picking your tray, “I forgot that I have a quiz for chemistry in thirty-minutes. I’ll see you guys later.” You didn’t give Peter the opportunity to thank you for your advice before you hastily walked towards the trash can, tossing out the food. You left the cafeteria as tears started to cloud your vision; you sped towards the bathroom, going to the nearest stall and locking the door shut. The bathroom was filled with silence as your breathing became erratic; he likes MJ, he likes MJ, your mind constantly repeated, making you clench your chest as your heart deeply ached. You rested your head on the door as the tears began to flow down your face, a sob emitting from your mouth as you realized the truth. 

You were right, Peter would never admire you. 

Your eyes opened and your body jolted, your lips feeling chapped and your mouth as dry as the Sahara desert. You licked your lips and closed your mouth, allowing the salvia to get rid of the dryness. It felt like you slept for two complete days, and you sat up, grabbing the jacket that laid against you, pulling out your phone. You rubbed your eyes and tried your best to shield them from the bright light emitting from your phone; it was five p.m., but it felt like it was three in the morning. You mentally groaned, tossing your phone to the side before remembering that you previously promised yourself that you would send a message to Michael to let him know that you were okay. You scrolled through your phone as you opened the messaging app, writing a short but descriptive text to Michael before sending it, leaning back onto the pillows as you awaited for his response. 

Your body and mind were completely drained, but you had gratitude for Peter for allowing you to sleep on his bed. As you sat in the darkness, your mind replayed the dream you had moments ago; however, it wasn’t a dream but a relived memory. A frown was drawn upon your lips as you remembered the events that occurred after you gave Peter advice. Since that moment, Peter spent most of his time with MJ when he wasn’t being Spider-Man, finally building up the courage to ask her out by the end of senior year. 

It completely shattered your heart as you watched their interactions during high school, summer, and college. While you and Peter went to MIT and MJ went to Stanford University, she would visit whenever she could while you were stuck third-wheeling. On the other hand, during the moments you, Peter, MJ, and Ned were together, you attempted to focus on something else, yet you always failed. You would see how Peter tried to discreetly plant kisses on MJ’s lips and cheek but miserably fail, or the way his hand was beautifully intertwined with hers. You deeply envied her. You wanted to be her; you desired his lovely eyes to stare at you when you weren’t looking, to softly whisper adoring words in your ears, and to hold you safely in his arms at night. You plastered a smile for so many years, hiding behind a mask, until one moment, you couldn’t take it anymore.

You were completely heartbroken and felt extreme guilt once you left Peter, but you healed over time. It was a long process, but you were doing fine, even if he was gone from your life. But, now that you’re back with Peter, everything you tried to erase from your mind was slowly trickling back. 

The sound of a notification paused your thoughts, and you reached back to grab your phone, turning it on and opening Michael’s message. 

I’m glad you’re alright Y/N. Rest more if needed, Captain Parish will understand. I’ll notify you if any new information is brought up. 

You quickly replied, thanking him before turning off your phone. You sat in the dark for a short moment, pondering what to do next. Knowing that you didn’t want to sulk anymore while on his bed, you got up, going towards the nightstand and turning on the lamp. Once you were done fixing Peter’s bed, folding the clothes he lent you, and changing back into your clothes, you extended your arm to grab your gun and badge laying on the nightstand. Your hand froze, looking at the photo frame that stood next to the lamp. You gingerly picked it up as you inspected the picture, the mere sight of it forming an unsettling sentiment in your chest. 

You pushed the strong emotion to the side, taking note of how Peter’s hands were attached to MJ’s waist, his head leaning into hers as a bright smile rested on his face. MJ’s smile was softer and smaller, and her hands were gingerly resting on Peter’s forearms. A slight smile formed on your lips until you felt another emotion take over your body: guilt. A melancholic look was embedded in your facial features as you began to think of MJ. How would MJ feel if she discovered you laying on Peter’s bed? Would she feel angry once she finds out that Peter allowed you to stay in his apartment? While you were once jealous of MJ for living the life you desired, you didn’t want to get involved or possibly destroy their relationship.    

Suddenly, a loud alarm was ringing across the apartment, making you slightly jump and place the frame back in its original place. The ringing of the smoke detector made you open the door, smoke immediately filling your lungs. You loudly coughed, waving your hands in front of you as you tried to block the smoke from furthering entering your body. You followed the trail of smoke, heading towards the kitchen as you watched Peter in a state of panic, attempting to get control of the fire on the pan. 

“Shit, shit, shit, shit,” Peter repeatedly cursed to himself, sweat trickling down his face as he turned off the stove and removed the pan from the burner, safely putting a lid on the flaming pan. You hesitantly watched Peter’s body instantly relaxed as the fire quickly started to die down, but you noticed how his face contorted into frustration, inspecting the pan as the food he was cooking was completely turned into a charcoal color. You stepped forward, causing Peter to jump as he heard your footsteps, completely unaware that you were standing there the whole time. He slightly coughed, stepping in front of the pan, his arms crossed and his body posture emitting a laid-back demeanor as he tried to conceal the mess he just created. You quirked up an eyebrow, a smirk forming on your lips as Peter failed to remain like nothing happened, moving his head from side to side, “He-y, what’s up?” he said, his voice cracking. You walked closer, poking your head to the side as you tried to inspect the damage; your nostrils were hit by the smell of burnt food and you let out a chuckle, looking at Peter as he scratched the back of his head. 

“What were you trying to make?” you asked, walking towards the window above the sink and opening it, allowing the smoke to leave. Peter let out a breath he was holding, glad that you did ridicule him; he grabbed the pan, heading towards the trash can and emptying it out. He bit his lip, wondering if you were going to remember the memories attached to the dish. 

“Jalapeño poppers,” Peter revealed, settling the pan back onto the stove, turning around to look at you. He watched as your smile widened, a big toothy grin plastered on your face. He returned the grin, your face reminding him of the good old times. 

“Like Ethan’s famous jalapeño poppers?” you asked, your lips curling into a smile and your heart warming at the thought that Peter was trying to recreate your favorite dish. Your friend, Ethan Bennett, amazingly cooked jalapeño poppers every Friday night in your shared apartment with Peter, you, and your other friends. It was like tradition; you would all come together and help Ethan cook, and every time they came out perfect. You always made sure to buy extra jalapeños because you knew you would eat more than the others. Peter nodded his head, rubbing his forehead, a hint of sadness in his eyes. “You were still sleeping when I got home, and I wanted to cook you something that I knew you love. I’m sorry for ruining our dinner.” 

You shook your head, “Peter, it’s okay. I appreciate you for trying, though.” The smoke was almost completely gone, clearing up your sight and nostrils. He reminded you of when May tried to cook; you had the Chinese restaurant that was down the street on speed dial because May’s food always ended in a disaster. 

Silence filled the room as you stood feet away from Peter, the awkward climate settling in. Peter was the first to break the silence. “How about we order takeout?” he asked. You were flattered that Peter attempted to create your favorite dish, and you could tell by his face that he was heavily disappointed in himself; while you didn’t seem to mind that it didn’t turn out perfect, Peter was trying his hardest to relive the memories you had with him. Almost immediately, an idea popped in your head, your eyes shining in glee. 

“I have a better idea.”

                                              - - - - - - - - - - - 

Your grin was proudly plastered on your face as you stood in front of Mr. Delmar’s shop; it’s been years since you’ve visited Mr. Delmar, considering you tried so hard to avoid areas you knew Peter would be at, but now was your chance to pay him a visit. Peter watched your reaction, your eyes shining like a little kid on Christmas morning. You opened the door, immediately smelling the homely-baked slices of bread and the fresh meats. You looked at your surroundings, content that nothing drastically changed while you were away. As your eyes gazed across the store, awing at the sight in front of you, Mr. Delmar was crouching on the floor, restocking the chips that were almost gone. He picked up his head, barely looking at the customer before focusing his attention back to the task. However, Mr. Delmar did a double-take, unable to believe that you were back in his store. 

“I can’t believe it. Y/N? Y/N Y/L/N?” Mr. Delmar said in disbelief, getting your attention. While he was saddened that you left without saying goodbye, he was happy that you came back. You brightly smiled at him, walking towards him and giving him a hug, to which he immediately reciprocated; Peter felt joy as he watched the small interaction you had with Mr. Delmar. 

“It’s so good to see you, Mr. Delmar! How are you?” you asked, eager to hear how he was doing. 

Mr. Delmar grinned from ear to ear, “Muy bien now that you’re here, Detective,” he stated, putting an emphasis on the word; you felt proud as he referred to your title, signaling to you that he’s been aware of your accomplishments. He’s known you since you were a little kid, and he saw you as his own daughter. He too, like Peter, read the newspapers just to see your name boldly typed on the papers.   

“I’ve heard of all of the things you’ve done for New York. I’m so proud of you, mija,” Mr. Delmar proudly stated, patting you on the back. You were so used to celebrating your accomplishments alone that the mere sentences he spoke made you want to shed a tear. While it felt good to hear his praises, you were also aware of the extreme pressure you carried on your shoulders. Mr. Delmar looked behind your shoulder, seeing Peter wave at him. “Hey, Mr. Delmar.”

“Pete! Two of my favorite customers! I’m assuming you’re not just here to talk to me,” he stated, forgetting his task as he went behind the counter, “same as usual?” he asked, knowing both of your orders by heart. While it was usual for workers and owners to remember the orders of their regular customers, you were still shocked. Both you and Peter eagerly nodded your head; as you waited for Mr. Delmar to finish your sandwiches, you heard a soft noise come towards your right side. Your heart almost exploded as you watched Murph, the cat, walk towards you, immediately recognizing your scent. You softly picked him up, scratching him behind his ear, making him instantly purr and nuzzle himself into your touch; you gave Peter a toothy grin, holding Murph up like a reward you had just won. He returned the smile, enjoying how much your eyes lightened up, overcome with nostalgia. It felt good to see how quickly your demeanor changed as soon as you and Peter were back to talking to one another; he missed you so much, and it was great to see you distracted despite the unfortunate events that occurred the previous day.

“Here you go, New York’s finest sandwiches,” Mr. Delmar said, handing both of the wrapped sandwiches to Peter as you were too preoccupied with holding Murph. You both thanked him as Peter grabbed the meals, taking out his wallet to pay. However, Mr. Delmar shook his head, declining the money before Peter had the chance to take it out. “On the house.” 

You softly put Murph back down, bidding a wholesome goodbye to Mr. Delmar, promising him you’ll be back soon before walking out the store. You and Peter walked back to your car, plopping yourselves on the seats. You turned your body, reaching into the backseat, grabbing two water bottles and placing them on the cup holders. You dove right in, taking an enormous bite; nostalgia instantly hit you, and you moaned in delight, the savory taste destroying the hunger that was eating you up. 

“Feels like old times,” you confessed after swallowing the food. You let out a sigh of relief; it felt good to be back. You fondly looked at Peter who was eating his sandwich as well. “Do you remember when you slipped and landed on your sandwich, getting mustard all over your shirt?” you questioned, vividly remembering how hard you laughed at him as both of you were walking back to his apartment. Peter groaned at your remark, shaking his head as he cringed at the memory.

“Remember when you choked on your skittles soon after? Karma’s a bitch,” Peter sassily remarked, chuckling at how fast your smile dropped as you recalled the events that followed after. 

“You said you wouldn’t bring that up,” you dramatically argued, taking another bite, ignoring how his eyes lingered on you. 

In a quick flash, both you and Peter finished your sandwiches, laying back in your seats, allowing your stomachs to properly digest the food before you drove back to his apartment. Neither of you spoke, but the silence wasn’t awkward like before; rather, it was different. Moments like these were how you usually spent your time with him. Peter nor you didn’t have to exchange words every possible minute; the mere presence of one another brought you enough comfort. It reminded you of how much you missed your life as a young teenager. No worries and no responsibilities. 

The moment was soon gone, however, as Peter turned to the side, facing you. “I forgot to tell you, but I went to the store and made a copy of my key.” Peter fished around in his front jean pocket, taking out a key, holding it right in front of your eyesight. You stayed silent, not knowing what to say. Peter realized how odd it was for him to bluntly convey this without explaining his reasoning. “-I figured that since you’ll be staying at my apartment until you feel safe again, you’ll need a key in case I’m not there to open the door for you. That’s why, no other reason,” Peter rambled on, feeling guilty when he added the last sentence. Of course, you knew he wasn’t asking you to move in with him permanently; this was only temporary and for work-related purposes, nothing more, nothing less. Yet, you couldn’t help but feel downhearted by Peter’s words. 

“I-” you stopped talking, recalling the earlier thoughts you had while you were in Peter’s bedroom. MJ... how does she feel about this? Does she even know? Peter noticed your hesitation, your hands laying on your thighs as you didn’t take the key away from his grasp. His eyebrows furrowed, unable to comprehend what was coursing through your mind. 

“It’s fine, Peter. You can keep the keys; I won’t be staying at your apartment,” you replied, causing Peter to become confused. You continued to not look directly in his eyes, hoping that he would accept what you said and not question it, but you knew that wouldn’t happen. It’s Peter. 

“What? Y/N, what are you talking about? Yesterday, you agreed and now you’re not. Is something wrong? Did I say something that made you change your mind?” Peter frantically asked, scared that his rudely blunt remark made you refrain from saying yes. You didn’t respond, not wanting to ask the question that you so desperately wanted to be answered. "You can tell me, Y/N. I promise, I won’t get mad,” Peter added. You then turned your head, staring into his eyes; they were pleading- begging -for you to respond. You let out a sigh, biting your lip as you were mentally debating whether or not you should ask. 

“I-is MJ okay with this? Letting another woman live in her boyfriend’s apartment?” you softly conveyed as you eyed Peter with worried eyes, mustering the courage to ask your question. 

You immediately regretted your words as you watched Peter’s face fall, grief etched in his facial expression and sadness emitting from his body language. He tried to hide his sorrowful appearance by rapidly blinking and tightening his lips, and you felt regret as his posture morphed into a closed one. “I thought you knew,” Peter whispered, doing his best to remain composed. He didn’t blame you, though; yet, you couldn’t dismiss the immense guilt you felt. Your lips were pulled into a straight line, then forming into a frown. 

“We broke up about a year and a half ago,” Peter confessed out loud, leaning his body back onto the seat. Your eyes widened in shock, feeling horrible for Peter.  

“I-I didn’t know, Pete- god, I’m so sorry for bringing that up,” you gushed out, hating yourself every minute. If you knew that they’d broken up, you would’ve reached out to both of them, making sure they were alright. But, you were so engrossed in your own world that you didn’t even bother to check those closest to you. Your heart clenched for Peter as he remained quiet, forming a half-hearted smile in attempts to make you feel less guilty. 

“You didn’t know, that’s alright,” he replied, his voice endearing and tranquil. Neither of you spoke, allowing the silence to take control. After what you’ve asked, you felt like you lost your privilege to speak; you pulled the skin near your fingernails as a method to ease your anxiety. While MJ and Peter’s relationship made you depressed, you never wanted to see Peter so heartbroken. You knew how much MJ meant to Peter, and you were saddened at the thought that they were no longer together. 

“Y/N,” Peter spoke, gaining your attention. “Don’t beat yourself up about it, it’s really alright. Of course, I’m distraught that MJ and I aren’t together anymore, but we were already falling apart- for years, actually.” You stayed quiet, signaling Peter to continue. You reached your hand out, delicately laying it on top of Peter’s, to which he accepted, wrapping his hand around yours. “It was for the best,” he declared, squeezing your hand. 

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you,” you conveyed, giving Peter a consoling look. 

"You’re here now, and that’s all that matters,” Peter replied back, making your heart clench at his words.

Your hand retracted once your phone began to ring, frightening you by the sudden sound. You bit your lip, looking at your phone, Michael’s name flashing. 

“I’m sorry, but this call is work-related,” you stated, giving Peter a pitiful look, feeling peccant for interrupting your deep conversation. Peter covered his frown, feeling empty with your touch, but he nodded his head, understanding that your priority shifted. You briefly apologized, accepting the call and putting the phone near your ear. 

“Michael? Any new information?” you asked, feeling your body shake from anticipation. You pleaded in your head, mentally crossing your fingers and hoping that Michael was going to tell you resourceful information to help you catch the killer, but as usual, you were wrong. 

“They found another body. Meet me at the chief medical examiner’s office,” Michael stated before hanging up. 

                                                    - - - - - - - - - - - 

You walked into the building, the cool conditioned air immediately colliding with your body. You ignored the shivers running down your body as you trod down the hallway, heading towards the autopsy room. You didn’t realize you were holding your breath until you entered the room, seeing the chief and Michael standing in front of the covered body. 

You softly greeted them before diverting your focus back on the body, feeling your stomach twist as you began to ponder who was laying on the cold table. No matter how many times you’ve done this, you always felt sick. You let out a big breath, gesturing to Michael and the chief that you were prepared to look at the corpse. The chief nodded his head, grabbing the cloth and pulling it down, exposing the woman’s body. Your eyes raked over the figure, taking note of how badly damaged the corpse was. She looked so young, her soft facial features indicating to you that she was barely an adult. It felt so wrong, knowing how such a precious life was brutally taken away. 

“Elizabeth Monroe, eighteen years old. There were sixty-four stab wounds all over her body, similar to Amanda’s and Glimmer’s body,” the chief, Dr. Avery, declared. You flinched upon hearing their names, feeling your heart drop. 

“Did you determine the cause of death and time of death?” Michael questioned, taking over the matter as he noticed your frozen posture.

“Time of death was around four-fifteen p.m., and the cause of death was extreme blood loss,” Dr. Avery answered before continuing on, “the depth of the stab wounds were roughly around seven centimeters, and the killer twisted the blade while inserting it in the body. Judging by what I’ve collected, Elizabeth was dead after the sixteenth stab wound.” 

You felt the anger course throughout your body, enraged that the killer was able to take another life of another innocent person. The multiple stab wounds indicated to you that the killer was motivated by rage, continuing to stab the victim even after she was dead. Yet, you were also frustrated with yourself; while you were sleeping, a young woman was being brutally murdered. Why didn’t Michael call you earlier? Once again, you could’ve prevented it, but as usual, you were late. 

You cleared your throat, getting the attention of the chief. “Any traces of the killer’s DNA on the body?” you asked. The chief’s face contorted in sadness, and he shook his head. “No. Fingernails and the victim’s tongue were cut off,” he responded, clearly mortified of what he discovered. You mentally cursed to yourself; the killer was being smarter about their actions, meticulously getting rid of any traces of themselves that could’ve been left on the victim. 

“Was she a sex worker as well?” you continued on, wanting to know if the killer was targeting specific women. Maybe, if you were able to discover his pattern, you could prevent another murder. 

“Her purse and wallet were left at the scene; she attended Midtown School of Science and Technology. Straight A’s, perfect attendance, an incredible soccer player. I doubt she was a sex worker,” Michael announced, shifting your focus on him. You narrowed your eyes at him to which he ignored; the information he clearly provided suggested to you that he was already investigating the case without you. Knowing that much about Elizabeth’s life showed that he already started asking her friends and family, making your blood boil. 

You took in his information, despite your frustration. He did have a point; her life seemed perfect, why would she feel the need to become a sex worker? Even though the chances were low, you didn’t brush off the possible idea. 

“Did the family identify the body?” you questioned. 

“They’re on their way,” Michael softly stated, deflecting every time you attempted to make eye-contact with him; he knew you were upset but decided he could postpone the argument until after the autopsy was done. Another question sat in your mind, but you bit back your tongue, deciding to keep it to yourself. While you deeply wanted to know if another letter was left for you at the crime scene, you knew Michael wasn’t going to tell you. You thanked the chief for his work, gathering the information on a notepad you had tucked in your back pocket before walking out of the room, Michael following behind. Once you left the room and walked down the hallway, you leaned your body against the wall, rubbing your eyes. Fear, worry, rage, exasperation, and tiredness hit you all at once, but you knew that you had to shove those emotions to the side. 

“You alright?” Michael asked, grabbing your shoulder to get your attention. You angrily sighed, shaking off his touch. Michael attempted to hide the pain he felt as you refused his attempts to console you, but you noticed the frown drawn upon his lips. 

“Why didn’t you call me sooner?” you barked back, ignoring his question. “You were at the scene and I know you started to ask questions, but you did it without me. Why?” You were beyond frustrated that Michael decided to continue his investigation without you. What was the point of being partners if he wasn’t going to notify you about what he discovered?

“After Amanda’s and Glimmer’s death, I knew you weren’t sleeping enough. I was worried about you- god- even the captain noticed your shift of behavior ever since you’ve taken the cases,” Michael confessed, attempting to justify his decisions. He saw the way you were being mentally and physically damaged, and it absolutely destroyed him. “I was just trying to make sure you were okay, Y/N. I can’t risk you hurting yourself.” Your heart clenched upon hearing Michael’s worry, adoring how much he cared for you. While his actions were justifiable, it didn’t mean you still weren’t upset.  

“I get that, Mike, I really do, but I don’t need you to protect me. I can take care of myself,” you responded, hoping that Michael understood how you felt. You didn’t need him to treat you like a fragile individual nor did you need his pity. 

"Oh really?” Michael argued back, “then why are you staying at your friend’s house if you claim that you can take care of yourself? Y/N, I know you’re terrified of the person who’s committing these crimes, so you need to step back and let others help you.” You remained silent, forgetting that you told him through text that you were staying at a friend’s house. Despite your stubbornness and determination, you knew others were willing to provide aid if you ever needed assistance.

“Y/N...I know you hate to admit asking for help, but I beg of you, don’t feel discouraged,” Michael stepped closer, his chest mere inches away from yours. You felt your breathing stop as Michael grabbed both of your hands, placing them on his chest. His heart was strongly pounding in his chest, as was yours, but you remained still, allowing him to continue speaking. Michael licked his lips, as if he was deciding whether or not he should say what was on his mind. His eyes locked on yours, and you felt your skin heat up, carefully taking in every word Michael said. 

“Asking for help doesn’t mean you’re weak. Y/N, I deeply care for you, and I know you’re upset with me, but please try to understand why I made my decision,” Michael confessed, the sound of his heartbeat accelerating in his chest; it sounded as if it was going to explode right at that moment. “You mean so much to me, and I wouldn’t know what to do if you were gone.” Michael’s voice broke, and you witnessed as his eyes turned glossy. Even the mere thought of you being gone brought so much pain to Michael; so, he made a promise to himself that he would protect you every chance he could, even if it meant that you would be upset with him. 

The sound of footsteps approaching made you pull your hands back, and you cleared your throat, stepping backward as you tried to act like nothing happened. You turned your head to the side, and you sorrowfully glanced at the woman and man, hesitantly standing in the middle of the hallway. The woman tightly held onto the man’s hand, their eyes were blood-shot red, and you knew they were here for Elizabeth.

“Mr. and Mrs. Monroe?” you asked. Both of them nodded their heads, remaining silent. You swallowed the lump forming in your throat, trying to remain calm. Your face remained blank before you spoke. 

“Thank you for coming. Follow me,” you stated, walking back to the room you were previously in, stopping in front of the window, the blinds inhibiting them to look into the room. Your lips were drawn into a fine line as you were standing beside the window, knowing the hardest part was about to come. You faced the Monroe’s, noticing how they stood feet away from the window, their faces etched in panic; of course, it was understandable. No one wants to identify their child’s body. 

“Take as much time as you need,” Michael announced, standing at the other end of the window. He gave them a sorrowful look, ready to stand next to the window for as long as they needed. Mr. Monroe remained quiet, planting himself on the ground, his body completely numb. However, Mrs. Monroe detached herself from her husband, prudently walking towards the window, her body shaking as she realized what was about to come next. You tried your hardest to remain stoic for them, but you looked to the ground, unable to look at their faces once the blinds were drawn back. 

“Please,” Mrs. Monroe pleaded, her voice cracking. Her soft tone caused you to look up, and you nodded your head, tapping on the window. The blinds were being slowly drawn back, and Dr. Avery stood next to the table, the cloth draped over the body. Your breath was held as Dr. Avery grabbed the cloth with both hands, removing the fabric downwards. A sob ripped through Mrs. Monroe’s body as she witnessed her daughter’s body laying on the table, Elizabeth’s pale face traumatizing her. 

“That’s her, that’s my little girl,” Mrs. Monroe wailed, her sobs becoming louder as she was met with the cold-hearted truth. 

Mr. Monroe quickly grabbed onto his wife’s shoulder, as she was close to falling onto the floor before he caught her. He buried his wife’s face in his chest, shielding her eyes as he rubbed her hair. He stared at his daughter, his face completely blank, but a tear ran down his cheek. Mrs. and Mr. Monroe’s reaction confirmed your worst fear, and you quickly turned to look at Dr. Avery, silently telling him to cover the body. The corpse was immediately shielded from the family’s view, and you stood still, your fists clenched by your sides. 

“I’m sorry for your daughter’s death,” you unveiled, feeling tremendous guilt as you stared at Elizabeth’s parents who continued to mourn for their daughter. Mr. Monroe opened his mouth, but no words came out as he, too, was confused. 

“I- I don’t get it. I just saw her this morning before she went to school, an-and now she’s dead?” Mr. Monroe uttered, completely shocked and heartbroken that his daughter is gone. “Who killed my daughter?!” he wept out, hugging his wife tighter. There was a moment of silence as you nor Michael knew how to answer his question. 

“We don’t know yet,” you confessed, your face expressing sadness and anger; while you were struggling to grapple with these new, traumatic, and horrific events, you were certain of one thing. “But, I can assure you that we’re trying our hardest to find them.” The air was thick, causing you to heavily breathe; the pain you were witnessing at this moment brought so much heartache, and you understood how they felt. Your mind quickly thought of Glimmer and Amanda, and how another life was gone, a life that was filled with so much potential. 

“I promise,” you expressed, hoping that your words brought comfort for the Monroe family, “we’ll arrest the person who killed your daughter.”

                                                  - - - - - - - - - - - 

You heavily sighed, taking the keys out of the ignition and rubbing your face in attempts to relax. The cool air started to settle within the car, but you remained still, contemplating possible explanations as to why three women were murdered. The burden was becoming heavier by the moment, and no matter how many times you attempted to have hope, it miserably failed. However, Michael’s words echoed in your mind; you weren’t alone. You had people by your side who were also willing to dedicate their time. Yet, you couldn’t help but wonder if it was enough to find the culprit. 

You dug through your purse, grabbing your phone and calling Peter while also getting out of the car. By the second ring, Peter picked up. 

“Y/N, you okay?” he asked, fully aware of the reason why you had left him a while ago; while he didn’t want to ask too many invasive questions, he knew that in time you would tell him. 

You let out a sigh, still having difficulty answering those questions. “I’m alright, I guess. I’ll tell you what I discovered and we can do some investigation when I get to your house,” you said, walking down the block. 

“Are you on your way?” Peter said, wondering when you’ll get home. It was barely eight-clock, but he still felt uneasy about everything that was going on. You smiled as you detected Peter’s worried tone, but you quickly reassured him. 

“I’ll be there soon,” you replied, “I just need to grab some things from my house.” You turned to the left, walking up the stairs to your tiny apartment, but before you could tell Peter goodbye and open your door, you froze. Confusion was the first emotion you felt course through your body, but then you were instantly flooded with panic. Your breathing and movement stopped as you registered that your door was slightly opened, giving you a small peak to the darkness that awaited you. You held the phone near your ear, unable to move nor think of what to do next. Peter noticed how silent you got, and he started to get anxious as he called your name several times, to which you didn’t respond. 

“Y/N? Is everything alright?” Peter hastily asked, wasting no time and running to his room, grabbing his Spider-Man suit. Alarms started to ring in Peter’s mind, but his voice broke you out of your trance. 

Your mind went completely blank, forgetting the question Peter asked you moments ago. “I’ll call you later,” you remarked, pulling your phone away from your ear despite Peter calling your name out in a frenzy. 

You slowly placed your purse on the floor, quickly raising your hands, your right hand gripping a gun and your left hand holding a flashlight. You stepped to the side of the door, your breathing becoming erratic. Every gut and muscle of your body tensed up and the hairs on the back on your neck stood up as well. Someone was in there, waiting for you. Your heart was loudly pounding in your chest, making it difficult to keep a steady mind.

You closed your eyes and let out a deep breath, attempting to calm yourself, before slowly reaching your left hand out and opening the door. You expected to see swift movement up and down your apartment, but instead, you were immediately engulfed in darkness and silence. The small flashlight bathed the entrance, but still lacked sufficient light; however, you feared to turn on the lights, unready to face whatever was lurking in your apartment. Sweat started to trickle down your skin as you further walked into the apartment, hastily searching around the living room, remaining alert for any sudden movements. You walked into the kitchen, but you began to take note as everything remained untouched. You proceeded into every room and every location that gave anyone the opportunity to hide, but you began to feel more secure as you continuously discovered that nothing was touched nor removed. 

That feeling was quickly gone as you looked down the hallway, looking straight at your closed bedroom door. A faint light was stretching beyond the door, and your heart began to rapidly beat in your chest. 

You vividly remember turning off all the lights. 

You slowly walked towards the door, your footsteps barely making a sound each step you took. Once you reached the end of the hall, you stood against the corner, away from the door. Despite the immense terror you had, you slowly counted to ten before grabbing the doorknob and opening the door. You swiftly entered the room, finger tightly holding onto the trigger, ready to pull if any movement was detected. Yet, you were met with nothing. The small closet in your room was open, and you dropped your gun to the side. 

You pulled the hair back from your face, your breathing going back to normal. Your eyes scanned the room once more, and just as you were about to claim that everything was just the way you left it, something small was laying on the center of the bed. You instantly gravitated towards the bed, immediately recognizing the piece of paper, the same paper that was left for you in Glimmer’s hand. 

You pulled out a single glove from your pocket, using it as an object to inhibit any of your fingerprints being left on the note. Your heart dropped, and you, once again, felt your breathing hitch in your throat as you read the note.  

You think he can protect you? because you’re wrong. I’ll always find you, no matter how many times you try to run away from me.

Suddenly, heavy footsteps were running towards you, and you immediately dropped the note, raising your hands as you held the gun, directing it towards the door. The door swung open, but your body unwound itself, instant relief flooding over you as you witnessed Peter standing in front of you. The eyes on his mask widened once he realized the position you were in, but they retracted as you lowered your gun; you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding in, glad that Peter was here.

“Pete,” you breathed out, tears welling in your eyes as you placed the gun back on your waist strap. Peter hurriedly moved towards you, instinctively wrapping his arms around your shoulders, pulling your body closer as he buried his face in your neck. Silent tears were streaming down your face as Peter rubbed your back, your tears landing on his suit. Despite the heaviness you felt within yourself, you couldn’t help but feel safe as your body was pressed against his. You gingerly sank into his warmth, your hands finding its way around his waist. You didn’t need to tell Peter anything, as his eyes landed on the note, rereading the words over and over again in his mind. 

The simple gesture was enough to tell you that you weren’t alone; Peter was there for you. The terror and pain you were feeling at the moment were extremely long and excruciating, but the hug made you gain back a tiny fraction of hope that you so hopelessly needed. 

“Let’s get out of here,” Peter whispered, reaching out to collect the note. His hand was resting on your back, and he escorted you out of the house, carefully holding you. Your face was expressionless, but your eyes unveiled everything. Nonetheless, as you shuffled away from your house, the killer’s words continuously echoed in your mind, sending shivers down your spine.

Why me? you pondered, feeling your stomach twist and turn. Why me? 

Taglist: @lukesbabylon​ @spideylovin​ @juliebean247​ @caitsymichelle13​ @averyfosterthoughts​

[markword]

Summary: You have had a crush on Jungkook since forever ago, but he’s changed and so have you. But when you get closer to him-in a different way than expected-feelings start to come out of the dark.

What’s in this bitch: swearing, SMUT, and a lil but of spice✨✨

Side note: this is my first fanfic, so plz be nice and enjoy!! She’s a long one so get comfy and get somethin to eat and get your playlist ready ✌🏼and there will be typing errors so ignore dem por favor

WITHOUT FURTHER ADUE::::

The echoes of your footsteps drilled into your head at an annoying volume. It didn't help that your heart was incessantly pounding either. You sweep by the empty classrooms, books laying on the floor, sprawled out in a hurry. The paper in your hand was nearly as wrinkled as your shirt, picked straight out of your hamper due to the lack of time and lack of any better ideas. The bell rings and kids start to spill out of every classroom, almost taking you off your track. the bell left an annoying buzz in your ears that kept you charging forward. No one has ever given you a note, not in the four years of highschool. The note was battered and slightly torn from your fidgety hands toying with the edges all day. You'd only read it once, out of fear that if you read it again, it wouldn't say the same thing;

Go to the main entrance after last period.

I'll be waiting.

j.k.

your heart couldn't help but flutter when you first opened the tightly folded note. you couldn't help but think of who sent it to you. He was always on your radar, but not in the romantic sense. You knew it was Jeon Jungkook because of the way the words were scribbled on the paper and obviously, how he closed the short note with his long lived nickname, ¨jk. He was always quiet and reserved in middle school, which would be his defining trait until sophomore year rolled around. rumors upon rumors built up about him, almost taking you off your feet when you first heard them. Jungkook, the quiet and sweet kid you basically grew up with through school, caught with a girl in a school bathroom? for some reason, the rumors were never proven but something about how he swayed when he walked and looked at girls for a split millisecond had them planning baby names. He had silently nudged you toward the conclusion that they were undoubtedly true. The hardest part about seeing his personality take a 180 was the fact that your secret but not so secret crush on him in middle school had quite nearly been strangled to death by the man that stood waiting for you, at the main entrance.

As your pace slowed, your ears and lungs caught up. you knew you were near the main entrance, but you couldn't see over the rushing flow of students going to and fro. you catch a glimpse of the top of his head, and miraculously, he notices you too.

You'd be lying if you said you didn't still have a little thing for him.

you couldn't help it. Maybe it was more of an instinctual hormonal pull, but he was easy on the eyes and in a rugged way, almost dreamy.

His longer dark brown hair, pulled into a small bun, perched on top of his head. his loose black v neck hanging dangerously against his strict collarbones. his baggy grey joggers molded to all the right places but still looking stylishly comfy.

you stride closer to him, and see that he was making small talk with a fragile blonde girl. He erupts into laughter, showcasing his devilish smile. which was always accompanied by his cute dimples. one of the reasons you became so hopelessly in love with him in middle school was that sweet and sour smile of his. You couldn't help but look for it every once and a while in class. You slowly approach him, giving him enough time to wrap up his previous conversation.

"Oh, hey Y/N. Sorry to leave a mysterious note like that" he smiled with his eyes, making the apology that much harder to not accept (although it was a pain in the ass)

"It's really okay. Why'd you want to meet here though? I haven't talked to you for a while"

"That's not true I talk to you everyday in class" he smiled, but it was obvious he was poking fun at you and your nervousness about being there with him. He had to admit, it was a little suspicious.

"Well, what is it then?" you were starting to get impatient, letting your temper mixed with your short attention span to get ahold of you. which of course, didn't go unnoticed by Jungkook.

"Iwas absent yesterday for that chem quiz. can you tell me what's on it? I know you’re smart and you understood the material really well."

You were definitely infuriated, knowing this could've been sent by text or even asked in the fleeting moments after class. you see him at least 5 seperate times a day, why a stupid fucking note to some clandestine meeting?

"Jeon, couldn't you have just texted me? But yeah, Iremember a few questions it wasn't that hard." You were dying for an explanation, but the way his face went blank and uninviting, was enough to gather the realization that you weren't getting one.

"Im taking the makeup test in 10 minutes. Do you think I could cram the answers in time?"

Of course he could. He was insanely and almost annoyingly smart. but just like his soft nature, that disappeared over summer break before sophomore year.

He sent you off with a quick thanks and then casually turned his heels to walk to the chem classroom. Once he left, you started to realize the strangeness of it all. He could've asked anyone in Chem 2, but he asked YOU? With a note to meet nonetheless. thinking about it gave you a headache, so once you turned on your car to go home, you started to think about what songs to play and what dinner will be instead. The car ride home was uneventfully blissful, the usual weird seat dancing and emotional signing to your favorite car songs.

You walk in the door with an exaggerated "humphf" when setting down your backpack to go look in the fridge to look for a snack you knew wasn't there. Your phone vibrates on your kitchen table and slightly annoyed you at how it proceeded to rumble loudly against the flat surface. You pick it up only to see that Jungkook had sent you a post on instagram with another message that read;

jungkook:Thanks for helping today, here's this to show my thanks

it was a distorted meme that you'd seen hundreds of times before, but its humor ran out after the second time it beamed on your screen. It surprised you that he sent a meme, but it surprised you even more to get another taste of the old Jungkook you knew. The one who would thank you for helping him out, and seem genuinely thankful. Sometimes you’d catch yourself stealing fleeting glimpses of him in class. you'd often try to pick up on his new tendencies and see some of his old, but comforting ones. He would also space out in middle school, leaving his notebooks riddled with doodles and scribbles to keep himself awake. Just two days ago, he was in a lab with you and you couldn't help but glance at his notebook for a split second; graffitied with little faces and tiny but strategic and pleasing scribbles. You're still looking blankly at the screen, sure that he noticed the "seen" under his texts a while ago.

you: Of course j.k. Ibet you aced it anyways

All of this weird and sudden contact had your head in a whirl. Too many questions and literally no answers. you thought it best to leave it alone for now. But he didn't.

_______________________________________________

You don't remember when you dozed off exactly, but you knew it was a good night's sleep when you woke up with a dry mouth and a full bladder. You groan and reach for one of the countless half filled water bottles on your nightstand. Huh? a sock?

"Whatever, Ihave to pee" you mutter to yourself. for a moment you didn't realize your deep and groggy voice.

"Wait, what" There it is again! you've never sounded this dead in the morning, even when you were hungover after your wildest night out. You finally flicker your eyes open only to be met by an unfamiliar ceiling fan and light grey walls. You rush to sit up. Something wasn't right. you look down and almost scream.

"Where are my boobs?!" your hands shoot reflexively to your chest, where they always are and are met with a dull smack as your hands hit complete flatness. You scurry out of the unfamiliar, but disgustingly messy bed and dart your eyes to find a mirror. It was weirdly easy to get up and dash to the mirror in the small bathroom to your right considering it wasn't your body you were in.

You stood panting in front of the mirror to see Jungkooks face staring back.

"What in the FUC-"

_______________________________________________

Jungkook sorta remembers when he went to bed. By sorta he means he knew it was between 8 PM and 1 AM. He's not good at remembering things, besides, he's already up now. He cracks his neck and instinctively reaches his hand down his boxer shorts.

"Where is my-" he suddenly feels his arm push against something warm on his chest while he extended his arm to find what was there just last night. He grabs the foriegn object on his chest, anxious to grab something since his usual apparently isn't there right now. Is this a boob? It was a boob. he reached up to mimic his other hand. and there's TWO? of course there he knew that. He'd seen plenty of them, but feeling them on himself? Hell no. THAT'S never happened before. He sat up, hands still clenched around the annoyingly loose bra that covered-well-HIS tits. His face went tense as he looked for a mirror. He slowly approached the mirror hanging on the door, hoping to not be met with one of his drunken hookups that could've been a witch for all he knows. He slowly opened his eyes.

"Y/N?! Damn. well, she has nice tits, I have to give her that."

——————————————————————————

You both immediately shot a text to each other, hoping it wasn't a dream, because if it was, you'd both look like idiots. But after telling eachother what happened when they woke up, (Jungkook left out the whole boob ordeal) and you decided to skip school today and sneak out of the house to meet and try to figure out what happened last night.

After throwing on something Jungkook might wear, you couldn't help but notice his figure staring back at you. He really was handsome. You flashed a beefy smile at the mirror and stayed smiling after seeing his signature but memorable smile. You finally talked his mom into letting you stay home just 30 minutes ago, with jungkook in an earbud listening and telling you the best way to make his mom cave. You were slightly annoyed when he said that all he had to do was say he felt sick and your mom was already convinced. It was still uncomfortable hearing your voice through the phone. you sounded really stupid on the phone. you decided to meet at a park close to both your house and his to figure it all out and how to undo it. You had a hard time figuring out how to drive his car but ended up to the park in one piece. well, Jungkook arrived in one piece. there was still no sign of your body yet. Your car comes screeching to a halt next to you before you see your body get out of the car in rage and slam the car door shut.

"Be careful with her she's old" you whine, referring to your beaten up and chipped car.

"Shut up and follow me. We gotta be alone." He grabs your arm and pulls you farther into the park and only loosened his grip when there were less than 5 people around.

"What the fuck happened, Y/N? This is freaking me out. How does this shit even happen? And why me and yo-"

"No, you shut up you're making me dizzy. I don't know my answer for all of those questions. oh god, what do we do at school? AT HOME? WHEN I HAVE TO PEE?" You almost choke on your breath thinking about going to the bathroom with a whole different set of tools.

"I don't know Y/N... I mean I could help you practice..." He reaches down toward your crotch-no- HIS crotch and you flick him away with wide eyes and a blazing stare back at him.

"This isn't a joke, Jungkook. What do we do?" you swallow heavily and look back at your body through his eyes.

"Ew. If I'd known that's what I look like I would just wear baggy sweats everyday..." you whisper it to yourself but since you were both so quiet and focused in thought, he heard it.

"Oh shut up you have a great body, Y/N."

"Did you LOOK? I didn't look, I thought it would be rude. wait-DID YOU LOOK YES OR NO?" you did look. He just doesn't need to know and wouldn't help your case any.

"Of course I did. nice tits by the way." he winked and cracked his neck again. you were too much in a daze thinking about how someone else had seen you naked. JUNGKOOK has seen you naked. Did he just say; nice tits? That doesn't matter, we need to figure this out before you cut off his dick for looking at you.

"We need to figure this out right now." you weren't kidding. if he touched your boobs that would be enough to commit manslaughter. it didn't matter if it was actually you that you were killing.

"We can go to my place now. Let's get something to eat. My mom wont think twice about me having a girl over anyways. She won't bat an eye and she'll leave us alone. Just tell her that we are both sick and want to study to catch up since its convenient. Its our best option." He cracked you a smirk, sending shivers down your spine. it was him alright, just in your body. You get up and start walking towards your beat up car out of habit to leave until he grabs your arm, almost jerking you so hard you would've fallen on your ass.

"Damn Y/N, your body is pretty strong. Stronger than you were in middle school. But lets take my car. I'll drive."

You couldn't help but blush at him mentioning middle school. I guess he really did pay attention to you back then. Your thoughts immediately hone in on memories of gym class when you'd be the best playing any activity and you embarrassed the boys in front of their respective crushes. you couldn't help but let out a little giggle, sounding even better when it came out as Jungkook's grisly and low voice. You settle in the car, and fidget with the seatbelts and keep your head glued on the dashboard to avoid any eye contact just in case you were still blushing. jungkook lets out an audible sigh before turning the keys in the ignition and putting the car in reverse. You couldn't help but look at him, sitting in your body, as he put an arm out behind your headrest to backout. He flickers his eyes between you and behind the car.

"Its so weird seeing my body like this, like from another perspective," you could resonate with what he said, especially since he's manhandling a car with legs wide open, but he looks like you at the same time. "I wonder what I look like during sex..." he mutters the last part under his breath and chuckles, part of him hoping that you would hear.

"Just ask one of your many lady friends, Jungkook. I'm sure they'd love to tell you all about it." You scoff. How could he change so much from the boy you were infatuated with? He was the same in small ways, but barely. It made you sad and frustrated when you realized that you secretly hoped he'd be the same around you after all these years.

"I could. But right now, I'm not exactly myself." You both reach to turn on the radio to drown out the awkward tension that seemed to have seeped in the car. You back off since it technically is his car anyways. He puts on one of his playlists and the first song starts to play. Its not rap and you're almost surprised. But you've known since middle school that he likes more indie and classic rock than anything else. You put your window down and look out with an elbow grasing the bottom of the window, and your hand finding its way to your hair. Well, Jungkook’s hair. Soft. You turn to look at the song name and realize jungkook is glaring at you. You never knew your face could look so scary.

"Don't feel pressured to act any different. Just be you and act normal, even if you want to touch my hair." He snickered and shot his eyes back on the road, making a smooth right turn at the light you'd been stopped at.

"Its a habit. Besides, you've seen me naked Jungkook, who cares if Iaccidentally touch your hair?" you had started to become more and more angry at his annoyingly hot voice. Just by hearing it in classes, you felt a tinge of wetness down under. But you're sure its just because of his voice, right?

"Am I wet right now? Is this what it feels like?" He chuckled so hard and loud you almost see your soul shoot out of the car and get run over. What the fuck do you even say to that? You had an idea as to why it happened but what do you say to jungkook?

He's still laughing a little when he shoots up straight in his seat.

"I know what it is Y/N, you think I'm SEXY."

you gulp. you decide that staying quiet is your best option, the one that will make you look less flustered and more cool about him calling you out.

"You know, Ihad a huge crush on you in middle school. It was almost embarrassing. I think I wrote you a love letter one time but I never gave it to you. You were such a player back then." He chuckles again, but softer this time. He confessed something embarrassing to get the conversation away from the obvious pool of wetness between his legs. YOUR legs.

"I did too." you mumble still looking out the window, trying to hide your excitement at his confession. you were happy but, that was a long time ago anyways. It didn't really matter now.

"Would you look at that, maybe we found out why we switched bodies." His facial expression was flat, almost bored looking. you both sat in silence until he pulled the car into the unfamiliar driveway you left this morning. You get out of the car and he reaches for the door and tells you to make yourself at home, as a joke, of course. To anyone else looking at you two, you were Jungkook, and this in fact, was your house.

"Maybe if we confess our past feelings, we will switch back. That’s the only thing I can think of anyways. You cool with that?" He was pouring himself a glass of apple juice and he set it down on the counter to get another glass for you.

"Yeah why not." you sipped slowly on the cold drink as he led you up the stairs to his room. You settle down on his bed facing each other, almost looking like two young girls at a sleepover talking about their celebrity crushes. you were both sitting with your legs folded and leaning in toward each other, a weirdly comfortable position for the both of you.

"You first." he grumbles with a cheesy smirk.

"Okay," you take a deep breath to collect your thoughts, "I liked you from 5th to 8th grade."

"That's it? I think we need a little more since we are still staring at our own bodies across from us." he was rocking side to side trying to conjure up any thoughts on how to fix your strange situation.

"Maybe we should kiss." He leans forward, which you dodge at the speed of light.

"What are you doing Jungkook?!" Your eyes wide open and stomach fluttering.

"Maybe this is how the spell thingy breaks, it makes sense."

He's right, If the reason you were stuck looking at yourself from this perspective was that you needed to confess and makeout, then so be it. You'd try anything at this point. You missed your own bed. He charges in closer to you slower this time and grabs your face. the way he was using your lips made it impossible to notice how quickly you'd shut your eyes. You opened them to see Jungkook staring at you with wide puppy dog eyes.

"Hell yes I'm back bitche-" He quickly silenced you with another kiss. I worked? You were sure you’d live out your days in another body. But you weren’t mad that his first idea worked out. But you weren’t about to keep your mind on the subject, Jungkook was millimeters away from you with his taunting lips. This kiss was more passionate and more eager. Your legs went limp, and your face set ablaze at Jungkook's fluid and sexy motions against you. He pokes his tongue at your lips, asking if he could enter. You quickly let him roam around your mouth, leaving you breathless and seeing stars. He slides his hands down from your face and traces the outer line of your figure, leaving goosebumps in their wake. you could feel the pool between your legs as your thighs began to quiver under his careful and strategic touch. He shifts you down, so that you're on your back and he is using an arm to support himself above you. you let out a needy whimper and you finally move your arms down his chest to trace his undoubtedly hot body. he flinched when you stopped at his waistband, and you were left just toying with the elastic until he forcefully pulled your shirt off your body, only leaving mere seconds between the deepening kiss. Neither of you were ready to stop. You could feel your body start to heat up against his and he slowly moved his waist into yours at a steady rhythm. you could feel his apparent erection glide across your thighs with every motion. You could feel the heat escape your core when you opened your legs farther, hoping he'd get the hint to touch you where you wanted him the most. You wanted his hands everywhere, but your arousal was too hot and strong to ignore for much longer. He slowly navigated his kiss downward, taking extra care of your neck, sure to leave a couple marks in his wake. once he reached your chest, with your bra still clinging on with the sheen of sweat you both worked up. As he moves his hands to hold you still, they rest on your hips with a tender but strong grip, willing you not to squirm under his touch. He started to kiss along the edge of your bra, frequently nibbling at the tender skin that lay beneath. He was taking his time of course, he'd been wondering what touching you and making you all worked up like this felt. He'd often steal glances at you in class, never letting go of his childish middle school crush. He'd accepted that he'd always feel something toward you, what that was he was unsure. But having you under him, and your back arching your chest towards him made him hungry. He knew he would never get you out of his head after this.

You take your arms behind your back and unclasp your bra hoping he would fasten up and make your horniness subside. He immediately grabs onto one and closes in on the other with tender kisses, licking around your nipple just to hear your sighs that turned into moans between his needy lips.

"Please Jung-" you whine trying to push yourself into him closer. you wanted to be swallowed into this moment. The tension was released, and god did it feel good. He cut you off with a strong and lasting rub against your core, just making you want to whine for more. He was rock hard, so the only thing he accomplished was making you shut up and making you kiss harder and your grip on his hips tighter. He finally slid his hands slowly up the inside of your thigh and his slender but strong fingers snaked their way under the thin cloth that was sticking to your folds. He took a deep and exaggerated swipe across your center, making you shiver with pleasure.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of that," he said, flashing a smile smile in between kisses on your neck.

"Just put it in already I'm dying here..."

With your words, he swiped off his shirt and pulled his pants down, showcasing the famous bounce as his erection springs out of his loose pants. his fingers wrapped around the fabric of your shorts, playing and twisting at them with want. He pulled them down slowly, propping your leg on the bed before throwing the soaking shorts somewhere on the floor. He pushed your thigh open with his now faster motions of his thigh, trying to get more friction against you. You whimper and reach for his erection. before you could fully palm it, he suddenly stopped and stared down at you, trying to catch his breath that had been sucked up by your deep kiss. He slid his thumb across your lower lip.

"Not yet Y/N. Let me do this first. I promise I’ll get to that in a minute." you watch him utter his words in a growl as he slowly drags his soft lips downwards between your breasts and then your stomach before his messy black hair is level with your core.

"I'll be gentle. Tell me if you want to stop at any time, Y/N."

You weren't expecting him to be gentle, or even offer an out for you. All the rumors of him being a brute and rough when it comes to sex and intimacy. You could see the old parts of Jungkook shining through. before you could think about it anything else he pressed his lips against you, lips pursed around your clit. a shake engulfed you, sending shivers up your spine and out of your mouth as a long moan. his tongue grazed over every inch of your center at least 3 times before he started to slow down and suck on your clit, leaving you able to feel every vibration of his ruffled moans against you. before you could recognize that you were almost at the peak of gushing-

"Are you still okay, baby?"

"Y-Yes. Oh GOD!" he had pushed two fingers into you, making you buck your hips into him. He grabbed your thigh with his other hand, silently telling you to stop letting your reactions distract him from the task at hand. Literally. He curls his fingers upward and moves slowly, applying just enough pressure to make your eyes roll back into your head, but gentle enough to keep you just below the line that would make it hurt. He was taking care of you, just like he said. You couldn't help but let your mind wander to his various conquests as he quite literally lapped at you like a starved man. Did he treat them like this? Was he this sweet but seductive with everyone? Are you the first to be thinking about this? His nibble at your folds broke you out of your daze. It doesn't matter now anyways, he was with you and he was good at making you feel good. Just keep going, you thought. It only took another nibble and his tongue in your heat to make you start to see a light.

"Jung- I'm-" you squealed. He just kept going, knowing that what he was doing was the ticket to your long anticipated orgasm. You quickly find yourself grabbing at his head of hair, just to help yourself ride out your climax. You feel the wet drip out of you, and Jungkook's tongue licking it up with lustful motions. Once he cleaned you up to his liking he lifted his head to look at you. Your eyes closed, chest heaving, and sweat making your face gleam. You really were beautiful, he thought to himself. But he wasn't done with you yet. He leaned over you and moved the baby hairs stuck on your face to the side. His doe eyes were searing into you, making you shift under him. You brought your hands up to rest on his chest. He really was beautiful, you thought to yourself. But you weren't done with him yet.

"Let me get a condom. Or are you on the pill? Its up to you, whatever you're comfortable with, baby." His term of endearment took you by surprise, but it didn't feel weird coming from his mouth, almost natural to him. You liked it, it even made your stomach hollow with excitement, but you'd never tell him that.

"I'm on the pill. I don't mind at all jungkook." His grin leaked into a smile, that adorable, sexy smile of his. it practically taunted you, knowing that his now stretched out lips were pressed up against you just mere minutes ago. You watched as he finally pulled down his boxers, allowing his painfully hard erection bounce out. The head, red and angry with understimulation, with beads of precum trickling down his length. He was big, just like the rumors had said, but you weren't expecting that he'd have the perfect length and girth. You knew after you felt him, it would be hard to go back. Especially since just his lips and tongue made you feel something you'd never felt before, something you'd think about at night while you played with yourself.

"Are you ready? I'll be careful with you if you're worried that it might hurt." He sat next to you on the bed, looking for any sign of regret in your eyes. Instead, he found your hungry eyes looking him up and down, completely naked in front of you.

"Don't hold back Jungkook, if we are going to do this I want to feel everything." You could barely focus on anything other than him. His abs, and the way they flexed when he let out a guttural laugh. His Adam's apple, that bobbed up and down when he would talk to you. His long, messy black hair, and how it framed his face. His rosy lips and how they pouted when he wasn't talking. Everything about the man sitting next to you was perfect. His features were just the same as they were back in middle school, but they became more mature and more sexy than cute.

"I'm excited to feel you around me Y/N. I've been thinking about what it would be like, and now you're here, and you're all mine." he uttered before leaning in for a soft kiss, making it easier to hide your face that was obviously blushing at his words.

"If you don't want me to hold back, Iwont" he whispers into your ear, making you wet all over again. His hand found your thigh amid deep kisses, and pushed it farther so he could fit himself between your thighs, allowing his erection to slowly graze over your dripping center with every motion. After Jungkook gathered enough of your arousal on himself, he decided it was enough to allow him to easily slip into you and lose himself in you. You grabbed his hip, angling him parallel to your body, begging him to ease himself into you.

"Please Jungkook..." you whine again.

before you could finish your sentence you felt his tip graze your entrance, teasing you with the heat. He was STILL teasing you? You grip your arms around his torso and force him closer, automatically pushing his length into you, but still not bottomed out yet. He was big and you wondered if you could realistically fit all of him in you. As soon as you pull him closer, Jungkook loudly grunts and shoots his head back at how well you fit around him.

"You feel so good Y/N." He breathes, starting to pump in and out of your heat. He didn't hesitate to throw your leg over his shoulder, allowing him further access into you. Within seconds he finds your g-spot, (he figured it was there since you let out ungodly moans when he hit it) and continues to hit it with each thrust. Each thrust was greeted with a slapping noise and the sounds of your arousal being moved around by Jungkook. His thrusts became more slowed, but deeper, grazing your cervix. The stretch that once felt uncomfortable started to feel pleasurable.

"Right there Jungkook, please don't-" you were too out of breath to even finish your sentence.

Jungkooks heavy breathing would've sent you over the edge right then and there, but he somehow kept you from coming to elongate the feeling of you around him, filling up his senses. His thrusts started to get sloppier, but still had a lustful drive in them. He shot his arm up to the wall, giving him support against his fastened pace. He grunts and shoots the other hand to use his thumb to circle around your clit, making you arch towards his touch.

"I'm gonna-" he spits out, clenching his jaw.

Not long after he warned you, you felt him throb against your insides, a warm pool filling you up. Just the sounds of Jungkook as he released into you was enough to make you follow suit not long after him since he rode his high within you.

"Sorry Ijust-" you put your finger up to his plumped lips to make him shut up.

"Don't say sorry Jungkook, It was perfect. Maybe too perfect..." you look to the side to avoid his taunting gaze. But he grabs your chin and demands for eye contact.

"I've had my eye on you since middle school, Y/N. And Iintend to keep it that way," He kisses your forehead before he gets up and throws you a hoodie that smelled like him.

"Get up butthead, we are getting icecream." he says through his stupid little grin.

[hermionegranger56]

HELLO LADS I HAVE LISTENED TO LOVER A MILLION TIMES SO HERE’S SOME THOUGHTS:

Just overall as an album here: HOLY. SHIT. that one vanity fair article that said this is gonna save pop music???? THEY’RE RIGHT OK?? this is just a solidly GREAT album all around. It’s lyrically smart, incredibly catchy, heartfelt and vulnerable and empowering. And the best part?? You can tell that Taylor is so genuinely, sincerely HAPPY and IN LOVE and it is downright INFECTIOUS. Even the songs that sonically I didn’t like as much, I couldn’t help but like since you could just feel her palpable joy in every note. I saw someone say that Rep was her finding her voice and Lover is her finally being able to use it how she wants and I couldn’t agree more.

I Forgot That You Existed: soooo catchy!! and god if realizing you forgot about That person ain’t the best feeling! this song perfectly shows that freedom, that joy. the laugh! the “…so yeah”! i live! a strong start

Cruel Summer: A MOTHERFUCKIN BOP THIS SONG MAKES ME SO HAPPY AHHHHH!!! (recommend it at full volume, in the car. really helped my commute today lol) the chorus is just such a good melody. HE LOOKS UP GRINNING LIKE A DEVIL!!!! MURDER ME THE DELIVERY OF THAT LINE WAS SO GOOD can’t wait to scream it on tour

Lover: perfect. perfect. perfect. see here. oh god she’s so in love. I see you Speak Now Taylor, I see you. this song is acoustic folky perfection and i want it at my wedding

The Man: ok moral of the story: fuck men lolol. THIS IS A JAMMM! look, I understand the critiques people are going to have for the message of this song. Without getting too into it, it’s true the song certainly doesn’t cover everything and there are areas of feminism and social awareness she (especially as a successful white woman) can continue to grow and make more of an effort in. HOWEVER, to say that Taylor Swift has not been affected by sexism is just untrue? Her whole reputation was defined for a long time on the double standards that society had for her that she lays out in this song, she went through a sexual assault trial with grace and dignity, she still is put in the pigeon hole of being “overdramatic”, “the victim” etc etc which perpetuates double standards. Taylor Swift has something to say about her valid experiences as a woman in this industry, and we DEFINITELY should not be trying to silence the voices of any women in this day and age. And the song’s simple sentiment of MEN HAVE IT EASIER is something that lots of her fans can relate to, so why not write something relatable, ya know?? idk man i support it, rant over, don’t fight me plz

The Archer: oh boy the ATMOSPHERE. OOF. the perfect 3 am-lightening skies-melancholy soundtrack. and my god if it doesn’t hit every late night insecurity I’ve ever had, like any good track 5 should. “who could ever leave me darling, but who could stay” hits like a sucker punch, by the crescendo at “all the kings horses and all the kings men” I’m screaming the lyrics or sobbing or both. one of my fave track 5s aside from All Too Well and Delicate

I Think He Knows: a BEAT hot DAMN. go GET that man tswift, we stan a confident queen!! BOY I UNDERSTAND?!?!?!? GET IT BITCH YOU’RE HOT SHIT!!! a solid bop!! i wanna dance!!

Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince: this is a MASTERPIECE. holy FUCK. its. there’s just so many LAYERS?!?!? it’s a like a freaking meta analysis of her past image, her current self and today’s fucked up society. I could write a paper about this. I’m endlessly impressed by how she can continue to surprise me with her lyrical skill even after all this time ahhhhhh. also the go! fight! win! cheer is so clever, i love it

Paper Rings: HELLO STAY STAY STAY AND OURS’ POP ROCK LOVECHILD. SOOOOOO INFECTIOUSLY HAPPY OH MY GOD. it’s a romcom come to life, idk i get love, rosie vibes, no idea why. but god i’m 22 full years old and i just danced around my room using a hairbrush as a microphone to this. I’m smiling ear to ear ahhh @ taylor and joe get married rn PLEASE

Cornelia Street: for some reason I didn’t love it at first, but it’s growing on me!! i think “i get mystified by how this city screams your name” sounds so great how she sings it though like that part is incredible. and it’s such a fragile message, that love that you fear might go away at any second and take all the happy memories with it. a sad bop

Death By Thousand Cuts: also growing on me!! I think most people can relate to this so i think it’ll do well. the “trying to find a part of me you didn’t touch” part was also good

London Boy: AHAHAHAHA I LOVE IT it’s cheeky, it’s fun and damn she wants you to know how much she loves her london boy and everything about him!! i also love that motherfucking IDRIS ELBA IS HERE?!?!? “DONT THREATEN ME WITH A GOOD TIME” so. good.

Soon You’ll Get Better: hoo boy. wow. I can only imagine this is about Andrea’s cancer diagnosis and my god my heart goes out to the whole Swift family. I’ve been there with my grandfather and watching him loose that battle in front of me was one of the hardest thing’s i’ve ever done. it’s surreal, the insistence that they HAVE to get better, it’s the ONLY way, that’s how it’s going to be. and now that I’m a nurse and I’m on the other end seeing families go through this, I just…god I don’t think this is going to be one I can listen to often. I said I was “sobbing” during The Archer, well here I actually, physically was. It’s been a long week, nurse-wise :( oh god the sigh right before the last chorus oh god. my true only complaint here is the underutilization of the Dixie Chicks, cause i love them :)

False God: THE SAX. THE SEX. AMAZING hahahaha. this is just a whole ass VIBE, it’s so smooooooth. I’M NEW YORK CITY, damn I love that!! GOD I DON’T EVEN HAVE SPECIFICS THIS IS JUST SUCH A FUCKING GOOD SONG!!! def in my top 5 from this album.

You Need to Calm Down: HEEEEELLLLLLL YEAHHHHH BOP OF THE SUMMER!!!! the chorus makes me SO SUNSHINEY HAPPY!! And I’m glad Taylor is being so vocal about her support for the LGBT community and sending this message of love/renouncing people who spread hate! CAUSE *screams from a mountain* SHADE NEVER MADE ANYBODY LESS GAY!!!!!!

Afterglow: i think this song is absolutely lovely! It takes so much maturity to be able to admit you’re wrong or that you hurt the one you love but that you’re going to continue to fight for them and I love to see Taylor explore that

Me!: ok honestly?? I have never liked the first song Taylor’s released from all of her albums Red and after. BUT they’ve all grown on me! that said, this is probably my least favorite song on the album WHICH IS SO IMPRESSIVE THIS IS STILL A REALLY GOOD SONG!! the me-e-e-e makes me unreasonably happy (similar to the sunshine vibes of yntcd). I just can’t get past the spelling is fun WAIT SHE TOOK IT OUT I’M ABSOLUTELY SCREAMING

It’s Nice To Have a Friend: SIMPLE. BEAUTY. this feels like an interlude of sorts and I love it. it’s first 3 seconds reminded me of the Big Little Lies theme song lolol. this is such a perfectly visual song, it’s like a tumblr list of aesthetics. i REALLY LOVE this one, in ways I can’t put into words

Daylight: ohhhh baby a GOOOOD ENDING. STEP INTO THE DAYLIGHT AND LET IT GO FINALLY MADE ITS DEBUT I’M SO HAPPY. and her words of wisdom at the end, wow. you are what you love. wow taylor truly has come through all of her experiences, good and bad, processed and grown, let it go and is thriving and in love in her own daylight

AND IM SO SO HAPPY FOR HER @taylorswift ILYSM

BRING ON THE LOVER ERA, SEE Y’ALL AT TOUR