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brassknucklespeirs · 2 years

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Nᴏ Sʜᴀᴍᴇ [Jᴏsᴇᴘʜ Lɪᴇʙɢᴏᴛᴛ x ꜰ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ]

Genre: Angst and smut with a smidge of fluff

Warning: Smut (18+), general HBO war warnings so language, pretty bad family upbringings (haha mommy and daddy issues am i right?), reader does walk all over Joe ngl but she’s learning, if you read between the lines then talks of using sex as a coping mechanism, borderline cheating? idk

Prompt: Requested by @softguarnere “No Shame (also by 5SOS because I'm obsessed) with Liebgott?”

A/N: I’m real sorry this isn’t edited or even proof read yet so bare with me, just wanted to post the damn thing cause it’s driving me insane. Isn’t quite as good as i wanted it to be so it’s got me going mad

This is based from the lyrics of ‘No Shame’ by 5 Seconds of Summer but i have cut some of the lines that i couldn’t work with so be aware, the song is not complete. This is the first attempt at me using song lyrics as prompts so please enjoy.

Angel, with the gun in your hand,

pointing my direction, giving me affection

Joe had been taken immediately by the new female replacement that walked through the pub door that night, a look of awe crossing his face as she sauntered in, flashing a smug smirk at all of the men who watched her with shock. Most of them had met the woman prior to her appearance at their usual drinking spot in Aldbourne but most had not wrapped their heads around it all, especially when the military grade skirt distracted them from processing anything.

Y/N wandered slowly over to a table that sat Guarnere, Toye and Babe after grabbing a drink from the bar, jumping into a conversation with them immediately after pushing herself under Babe’s arm. The two were close after training together for so long, their friendship staying sound after their combined placement into Easy company. Babe had made quick friends with Bill Guarnere and with that came the acceptance of the woman into the man’s good books before she had even been fully introduced to him. Joe Toye had been hesitant about Y/N but took to her quickly after watching her smack the attitude out of a private from Fox company who had spoken down to her, the two clicked instantly after that.

The group of mix and match soldiers at the table grew as the night went on, men coming and going to converse with her as she accepted drink after drink, mostly thanks to George Luz and Floyd Talbert. The original four of them sat together laughing like old friends reunited, with Babe blushing while under the scrutiny of Bill when asked why he friend-zoned such a darling dame such as Y/N. The woman in question smirked into her drink while watching him glance at her for help before deciding to tease the poor boy.

“Why did you decide to do that Babe? Damn near broke my heart.” He shot her a pointed look after she said it, giving her a gentle squeeze to the waist.

“You’re a piece of work.” He muttered to her.

It was between these comments being passed around that she had caught a pair of eyes watching her from the corner of the bar, with his companion, Skinny Sisk, failing to turn his eyes away from the woman no matter how much he tried to. She turned away, taking another sip of her drink, once again hiding her smirk before she made direct eye contact with Toye, who licked his tongue over his lips while he sent her a sly smile. She squinted her eyes at hi teasingly to which he just raised an eyebrow in question. The woman shrugged, taking another quick glance over to see Liebgott was still watching her in interest. Toye and Y/N silent conversation went unnoticed by the others, who were too busy seeing Babe turn more red by the second as Bill hounded him with vulgar questions.

The night continued on like this for a while, and aside from the dance or two that Y/N shared with Luz, the woman barely left her seat, so engrossed in the atmosphere she was enjoying. The rush of alcohol hadn’t taken over her completely but it certainly made her feel good as she chatted happily to the men before her. It was in that moment that she’d been talking animatedly to Tab that she saw Liebgott over the man’s shoulder. She nodded her head as if she was listening to the Kokomo boy when really her focus had been on the man behind him. Their gazes met for a moment, enough time for her to send a smirk his way before he slipped out the door. The woman turned back to Tab before politely excusing herself for some ‘fresh air’.

The cool english air hit the exposed skin on her neck as soon as she left the comfort of the bar causing a shiver to trail her spine. It was mostly dark outside aside from a flicker of flame that came from beside her, her eyes curiously turning to the figure she knew was there.

“Are you going to continue watching me for the rest of the night or will you be finding the balls to come and talk to me?” Y/N spoke so confidently, yet the darkness shrouded the smirk that fell on the man’s lips in that moment.

“Trust me darlin’, I ain’t needing to find no balls. I haven’t lost ‘em you see. You can even check if you want?” The woman let out a quiet snort which led to Joe letting out an amused huff.

“That was bad.” She replied, stepping towards him while lighting her own cigarette. The man inhaled while nodding his head, sticking the unoccupied hand in his pocket.

“Yeah it certainly wasn’t my best.” He said with a chuckle. She smiled at him then, no longer a sly smirk but more an amused curl of her lips.

“Give me another one then.” The man looked as pensive as he could before a yawn suddenly escaped his mouth, the hand holding his cigarette moving to cover it. Y/N raised an eyebrow at him, amused by what she thought was his lack of focus on her.

“Tired already? Or is my presence boring you?” She teased.

“Nah, it’s not you doll-face. You see I’ve been having trouble sleeping recently.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, can’t sleep by myself you see. Maybe you could sleep with me?” Joe said before looking up at her, his eyebrows raised as he waited for her consensus.

“Ah, you had me there for a minute.”

“Was it better though?” He pushed, bumping his hip into hers while she took a drag of her smoke.

“Eh, it wasn’t the worst I’ve heard.”

“Damn, the lady has high standards.”

“No, not high standards, just lots of experience.” Y/N said with a unbothered shrug.

“Maybe you’d like to share some experience with me?”

“That one was a little better.” She said while laughing, causing the man to look at her with his own genuine smile.

“I’ll be here all night.” He exclaimed, giving a small bow for effect.

“Or you could be in my bed all night?” She threw his way, her lips pursed to withhold her smirk.

“Oh, we have a competition here?” His smirk widened across his face as he pulled the cigarette away from his face, dropping it to the ground to smoulder.

“As I said, lots of experience.” She replied, a smirk rivalling his growing over her lips. Joe shook his head in amusement before moving to stand directly before her, his warm breath making her cold cheeks tingle.

“Well doll-face, me and you are definitely gonna get along.” He flashed her a wink before stepping towards the door of the pub once more. He turned to glance at her over his shoulder as he realised she hadn’t moved from her spot. “Coming?”

Love is fatal,

won't you give it a chance?

Y/N clutched the letter between tense fingers, her nails slowly tearing into the paper as a sneer made it’s way to her blue lips. Another day, another letter from her mother, and another from her father. Seperate letters from seperate people yet holding almost identical messages. There was no questions of how she was, where she was, what she’d been up to. She was great by the way, freezing her ass off in a blizzard of a forest with the constant blasts of artillery blowing the trees to smithereens, thanks for asking. Hell, she would have been happier to recount every gruesome and traumatising kill she’d made since dropping into the war in intense detail than have to reply to them regarding their problems.

Your mother did this again; I wish i’d never met him; She’s getting on my last fucking nerve; He’s the worst man i’ve ever met; She’s lucky I go away so often on business trips; Business trips my ass, he’s still cheating so i’ll be sure to do the same; Nasty piece of work she is; He’s lucky his money is more attractive than he is.

An aching pain enveloped her chest, causing her to bite into her lip to hold back the emotions that threatened to spill from her eyes. She could never understand it, why a child should have to listen to the immaturities of their parents who were in no means compatible, it wasn’t like she’d asked for them to birth her in a bid to save their already abysmal marriage. Fat lot that did anyway. She was the kid for fuck sake, so why must she be the one that has to baby them.

Her parents had always been like this; jealous, spiteful, childish people. Once she had believed it had been her fault, maybe her appearance on the family tree had caused a rift between them. Now she knew that wasn’t the case, especially after the history lessons from extended family members that they’d always been like that, they were just heedless to one another; always had been, always would be. The question had been asked so many times, whispers in the dark of why they even bothered to stay if it wasn’t working. There were two reason for this, one from each side and sadly neither being her. Her mother was a beautiful woman, covered in beautiful garments, driving beautiful cars, seen at only the most beautiful of places; beautifully expensive. Her father was a successful man, with a successful job, a successful marriage and a successful reputation; a successful lie. Her mother was greedy, money hungry and spiteful while her father was envious, power hungry and short tempered. The money was enough for her mother to stay and the dazzling reputation with the chance to be dominant was enough for her father.

Now don’t go getting her wrong, her parents weren’t bad people, mostly. They both had many redeeming qualities, ones that seemed to shine through in their daughter, however, the bad qualities just happened to be seen more commonly from her point of view. They did love her underneath all of that malice. She often asked how she, herself, could be so selfish as to think her life was hard when they’d given her a home, all the clothes and trinkets she’d asked for, and paid for an expensive private school. Some may have looked at this with raised eyebrows and questioned whether that was for her or for their reputation, however, Y/N would continue to turn a blind eye, refusing to tarnish the views she had of her parents more than they already do themselves. They’d given her everything she’d ever asked for except for one thing; a loving family. They gave her a home but it was broken, spoilt her with things but they were meaningless, given her an education many would kill for but it was pointless. They were selfish, and they always would be. They may have loved her but they loved themselves more.

Y/N had woken up to this now, no longer pulling a cover over her eyes in hopes she could keep the good parts of her parents and ignoring the bad. Now, she had her own feeling of malice. Her upper lip twitched as she let the anger take over, grasping at the top of the paper with both hands and tearing it down the middle. She continued to rip the letter until it was just tiny pieces in her palms, letting it blow away with the wind that swept past her with a huff of resentment. She’d gone so long pretending things were okay in hopes they would be eventually, but she had grown up now, seeing death and war and hatred on a scale she never thought she’d ever have to. Growing up wasn’t a choice here, it was a requirement; just another condition of war.

“Can practically see the steam coming outta your ears, must be a hot mess up in that head of yours.” Came a voice from behind her, a pair of boots coming to a halt at the edge of the dug in pit.

“You know me Joey, just fighting the enemies in my brain the same as I do in the field.” She teased with a smirk, trying to throw him off asking further as to her sudden burst of rage. He rolled his eyes at her, knowing her enough to know what she was doing, dropping down into the frozen foxhole beside her and pulling her into his side. Her eyes stayed on the line, yet her rifle lowered as she let herself slip under his arm for a bit of warmth and comfort.

“What’s eatin’ yah doll?” He muttered into her hair, her eyes unseeing to the way he looked down at her with such adoration.

“The less you know the better.” She hadn’t meant the comment in anyway against him, quite the opposite actually yet the words seemed to sting like salt in a wound. A part of her was trying to protect him from the absolute chaos of her broken family, but all he could hear was a woman in refusal of his care. He ran his tongue across his teeth, holding himself back from snarking something at her like he usually would to anyone else. The problem was that she wanted him to say something, anything to ease her aching chest, however both seemed to be met with disappointment. They’d continued to sit there together, pressed against one another for just a little bit of heat while they both found themselves lost in their own thoughts; her about her fucked up family and him about the woman snuggled against his side.

Center of attention,

don't you ask me any questions

The fight in Foy had been rough and though it had rewarded them with the show of a new CO in Captain Speirs, it had also taken from them several casualties, one of which was Y/N. It hadn’t been a big deal compared to others but the ricochet wound to the shoulder and bullet graze to the neck had the woman cursing the most colourful words as she shoved herself to the wall of a building, away from sight of the sniper.

The aid station had been worse than the pain of her wounds. The cries of dying men calling from their mothers, the squelching of blood as nurses were stuck up to their elbows in someone’s torso to pinch an artery, and the mumbled prayers to God to save the men who were honestly already too far gone made up a harmonious symphony of pain and suffering. A sour taste invaded Y/N’s mouth as she sat there getting her wounds wrapped, her eyes travelling over as many of the men around her as she could before settling on the nurse in front of her. She was beautiful, and aside from the dirt, grime and blood that covered certain parts of her skin and uniform, the woman had looked like an angel sent from the heavens. Y/N had watched her closely as she worked on mending her injured shoulder, whispering sweet nothings into her ear as she’d winced in pain. She had imagined the feeling of this woman being her mother, caring, tentative, gentle, throwing her own mind into a world completely made up to ease the pain that plagued her mind.

Y/N returned to her company the three days later after an argument with the same nurse she’d watched with awe. She fought with her words rather than her rifle but fight she did to be let go from the aid station, using the point that if she was able to stand, move, and grasp at things without difficulty and only a little pain than she was simply a wasted body taking up a bed needed for someone else. The nurse had pursed her lips with an angry huff and shake of her head before storming off, letting the woman walk off with a smirk on her face. That was more like the actions of the mother she knew.

She looked on as the trucks pulled up in the distance before her, a smile rising to her lips as she caught sight of her platoon jumping from them. She spotted Joe and Babe chatting to one another and sighed in relief about her best two boys being safe before jumping from the jeep that had pulled up behind the line of four wheelers. The urge to run to the two men had filled her but she held herself back and focussed on her mission to find Winters or Speirs and inform them of her inevitable return.

The woman made her way into the building that had been pointed out to her to be headquarters, her feet stomping against the wood to rid herself of the icy snow that caked itself to her boots as she entered. Three familiar faces were present in the room she walked into, as well as one unfamiliar one.

“Lip, I told you those cigarettes were going to catch up to you.” Y/N teased as she witnessed the man hack up the mucus from his lungs, moving to him to gently pat his back and run her fingers through his slightly damp hair. He smiled up at the woman, pulling her onto the couch beside his legs to keep her down.

“Very funny Y/N. Now what the hell are you doing back here? You should be at the aid station.” He replied, his voice tired and husky. She shrugged her shoulders, wincing as she forgot about the stitched wound on one before tucking Lip in with the blanket Luz had just placed over the man’s body.

“Nurses said I had to come back and look after my boys before they lost it without me. Though in all honesty, George looks like he’s taken the mantle of ultimate mother hen in our absences.” The man in question raised his hand with a smile from the small kitchenette attached to the room where he had been making Lip a coffee.

“Just making sure you didn’t have a bigger mess to come back to Y/N.”

“How very thoughtful of you sweetheart.” She flashed him a cheeky grin before her eyes moved to the two other figures in the room, her expression dropping slowly.

“Hey Web, long time, no see.” The man nodded at her while replying with a greeting of hello, his eyes looking towards the Lieutenant who stood abnormally upright in the corner, her gaze following. The officer had already been staring at the woman in a well-hidden look of shock or awe, she didn’t know. A small smirk overtook her lips as she eyed him up and down, standing slowly with a hand outstretched.

“You must be the new lieutenant, pleased to meet you Sir.” She almost purred, trying to rile up the fresh meat for a little bit of entertainment. He seemed to stand even straighter as he took her hand, shaking firmly while discreetly trying to figure the woman out with his eyes. He went to open his mouth to reply only for their CO to saunter in, his gaze finding her immediately. Speirs sighed, stopping before her.

“You just can’t stay away can you.”

“You can take the woman out of the war but can’t take the war out of the woman Sir.” He shook his head with the faintest of smirks before nodding towards the door.

“Head back to second, i’m sure they’ll be happy to have you back.”

“Yes Sir.” She said with one final salute before heading towards the door, but not without a last smirk at the new kid, who watched her until she had completely disappeared. Lipton and Luz made eye contact, both with looks of amusement, with Speirs glancing at the two before following their moving gazes to the man. A smirk drew to his lips as he clicked to his eyes following the woman, opening his mouth to voice his thoughts.

“She will eat you up and spit you back out lieutenant. Best not to go there.”

The woman had made it to second platoon’s housing without an issue, ignoring the sound of explosions that weren’t close enough to disrupt her. Following the voices she could hear, she trailed up the stairs, wandering into the room with one shoulder pulled back slightly more than the other as she tried to square them off with confidence. A quiet snort left her nose as she listened to some of the men in a playful argument about who knows what before stepping towards them, unnoticed.

“Ladies, ladies, you’re all pretty, now stop arguing.” She exclaimed causing all the men to turn to her, smiles tugging to their lips as they moved towards her, each with something different to say.

“AYE, she’s back from the dead.”

“How was your vacation sunshine?”

“Looks like you forgot to rest up during your stay at the day spa.”

The woman chuckled at their words before she was cut short by someone tugging her into their arms, careful of her injuries. She inhaled his scent immediately, relaxing under his arm yet her eyes were held squinted over his shoulder at the men behind quietly snickering to themselves. She sent them all a warning with her gaze while he pulled away from her, her expression changing to a dazzling smile as soon as he could see her face once more.

“You miss me Joey?”

“Piss off doll-face, you know I did.” He replied with a snarky tone but the smile on the corner of his lips said otherwise about his mood. She just looked back at him with a sly tilt of her lips that could rival even his infamous smirk.

“I certainly do.”

Go on and light me like a cigarette,

even if it might be something you regret,

you got me now, now, now,

swallow me down, down, down, down

The new officer had been in Liebgott’s bad books as soon as he’d wandered up the stairs behind Webster. His constantly straying gaze would find the only woman in the room a little too often for Joe’s liking, leading him to hold a unwavering sneer on his face for the rest of the day. His bad mood had impacted everyone, except Y/N of course, with his snarky comments and biting looks giving them a heads up to not push him any further. This lieutenant, however, did not know the solider enough to be able to read the expression of aggravation upon his face.

Y/N had picked up on the pair of eyes that watched her, a tell tale sign being the smirk that barely left her lips, this sending an even deeper feeling of resentment through Joe’s body. There hadn’t been any meaning behind her previous look at the new kid, it was more of a sizing up of what she had to work with. She had simply been playing a game, no harm done, aside from the fact that there had, in fact, been some harm done.

Joe had trudged back up the stairs after being dismissed from the patrol across the river in favour of Webster, his mood boosted just the slightest. Y/N had been propped up on a bed upstairs, book in hand as she had been ordered to rest by the extremely persistent Doc Roe. She jumped when Joe threw himself down beside her, so engrossed in the words on the page before her to realise he’d arrived.

“Hey Joey, what’re you doing back here so soon? Thought they needed you for prep for tonight’s patrol?” The man laid his chin on the woman’s shoulder as she asked, his eyebrows knitting together as he tried to understand the words splayed in the book before him.

“Hm? Oh they don’t need me anymore. Looks like you don’t get any ‘me time’ after all. Yah stuck with me for the night.”

“Oh how very disappointing.” She teased. He let out a huff as he side-eyed her over her shoulder. The woman’s mind reeled as she pretended to read her book, her thoughts of the man beside her clearly being pissed at the new kid, and all the reasons that could be for. She made up her mind in that moment, her eyes squinted as she chose her words carefully.

“I would have loved to spend some one on one time with the greenie in all honesty. That’s a shame.” She tested teasingly, but Joe’s eyes had turned dark immediately, his lips twitching to hold back the sneer that threatened to come back.

“Oh yeah? What’s so interesting about him anyway?”

“Hm, well he’s an officer, a man with power is pretty attractive. He’s got such dreamy eyes too, he really has me blushing any time i catch him staring. And oh my goodness he’s clean and doesn’t smell like shit like the rest of you sorry sods.” The man’s face slowly relaxed as he realised she had been playing with him, rolling his eyes before giving her a gentle shove to her uninjured shoulder.

“You’re such a little tease.” He muttered as he looked down at the woman who’d let her body fall to the bed dramatically as if he’d pushed her much harder. She turned her eyes to him as he made the comment, the slyest of smirks slinking to her lips.

“You haven’t seen nothing yet Joey.” His eyebrows raised at this while discreetly gulping down words he would love to say to her in that moment. His mind tried desperately to capture the imagine of the woman in front of him, her hair splayed out around her like a halo, a cheeky smile pulled to her lips. She watched him carefully, trying to gauge where his head was at as she seemed to lose him for a minute or two. “Joey? Come back to me honey.” She said while sitting up, her face close to his as her eyes wandered his face. He blinked several times, clearing away the haze of his thoughts only to realise how close she had gotten to him.

Her breath had hitched slightly while their eyes stayed locked, both with pupils blown. He leant down so suddenly to capture her lips that she barely had a chance to react when he pulled away again, his eyes asking if this was okay. She was the one to initiate the second kiss, her hands moving to grasp at his neck to pull him to her, their lips meeting harshly. They lay there for a minute, melting together in their own little world. She had stopped herself short then, her bottom lip grazing his when she pulled back as they stared at each other with wild eyes. I am so going to regret this.

I only light up when cameras are flashing,

never enough and no satisfaction

got no shame,

I love the way you're screaming my name

The room felt significantly warmer than she was used to as she let out another breathy sigh. Her skin was slightly damp, hair sticking to her forehead while she withered under his touch. His fingers had gripped so tightly at her hips that bruises were sure to form, holding her to the bed as she so desperately tried to grind herself forwards to where his head had been tucked in between her thighs. He worshipped the woman, praying to her on his knees like she was a god, her moaning becoming more frequent and higher in pitch as he did.

“JOE!” She screamed his name as she reached her peak, a sharp inhale sounding as her back arched, ignoring the slight pain that she could feel in her shoulder while it pressed into the bed as it added more to the sensations she was feeling. She threw her head back against the mattress, her eyes screwing shut in pure bliss. He had smirked from his place still between her legs while watching her wriggle under his grasp, a proud look on his features. A woman like her deserved only the best, so his best is what he gave her.

Y/N came down from her high slowly, her breath becoming more regular before her eyes finally opened again. She had glanced down to him just in time to see him wipe his thumb across his lips before taking it in his mouth, sucking it clean. Her stomach clenched hungrily before she leant forward to grab him by the front of his neck, tugging him to her lips. Neither were gentle with each other as their tongues fought harshly against one another. Joe had groaned at the thought of her tasting herself on his lips as his own hand came to grab at her throat. Her naked body lay below the man, the only thing between them being the pair of pants that he had yet to take off himself. Her hands had crept slowly down his body before one slipped under the waistband of the fabric keeping them apart, his breath catching in his throat as she took ahold of him.

Joe hadn’t been patient, and as soon as her hand had come in contact with him, he had jumped back, ripping the clothes from his body before pressing back against her, completely nude. Y/N moaned as his hardened cock had come in contact with her core, quiet begging leaving her mouth shortly after. The man smirked down at her, his eyes softening at the beauty that was this woman, her pretty pink lips pleading for him to take her. She reached up again, wanting the feeling of his lips on hers once more while her legs moved to wrap around his hips, opening herself up to him fully. They had let out simultaneous moans, and Joe a following curse, as he eased his way into her, hands moving to cup at her breasts, squeezing like his life depended on it. His head came down to rest on her collarbone, her hands moving to the hair on the back of his neck as they sat for a moment, both getting use to the feeling of each other.

“Look so pretty underneath me doll. Taking me so well.” He managed to mutter into her shoulder as he began to thrust carefully, using her face as a gauge of how hard he could push. A curse left her lips, followed shortly by a moan, her mouth hanging open in pleasure causing Joe’s eyes to roll back into his head as he bit at her uninjured shoulder.

The room echoed with the sounds of heavy breathing and his hips meeting hers as he became relentless, pushing in and out of her with so much power it was almost on the verge of pain. She had relished in the feeling though, her fingernails running down his back harshly as she tried to pull him as close as possible.

“Fuck Joey.” Y/N mumbled into his ear, his lips pulling to a smirk as his name left her lips so lustfully.

“Say it again Y/N.”

“Hm?” Was all she could say as it mixed with a moan.

“I want you to say my name again. Scream it.” He said with a particularly harsh thrust, her breath catching in her throat half way through her inhale. A whine left her lips as she proceeded to do as she was told, letting his name tumble from her mouth in between senseless moans as she found herself growing closer and closer to her high. He groaned greedily at the sound, while savouring the feeling of her beginning to clench around him. His hand came to rest back over her throat as he lowered his face to her, pressing a firm kiss to her lips. “Such a good girl for me.” He whispered against her mouth to which she just replied with a whimper and a soft bite to his lower lip. He smiled down at her as he pulled away, his thumb moving from her jugular to her lower lip.

They had both passed the point of sweaty as the air around them hung with moisture. Joe had felt it as she neared her peak, her body clenching so deliciously around his cock as he continued to pound into her. He whispered to her for her to cum for him while his unoccupied hand moved to rub at her clit. His head had thrown back at the same time as her as he felt a shudder ripple through her body accompanied by a loud scream of his name as she had before. His hips had stuttered while he felt her come undone for him, as he too reached his high, pulling out to release on her breasts.

Y/N had been the first to come down from her high as she opened her eyes to see Joe fallen beside her, breathing heavily. She had reached over to the floor, picking up the dirty tshirt she had replaced that day with a new uniform, and using it to wipe down her chest. She placed herself back down beside the man as he came back to earth, his eyes turning to meet hers.

“You, Joey, are one hell of a man.” They smiled at each other before a giggle left her lips as he grabbed her, pulling her to his chest.

“Only for you doll.” He’d mumbled and if she hadn’t have already been so tired from their previous activities, she might have let herself be worried about the sentiment that came with that comment but instead decided to ignore the weird feeling in her stomach. They lay there for several hours, naked bodies pressed to one another as they basked in the feeling of warmth and satisfaction. Joe had watched her as she fell asleep, her head tucked away in his neck while her breath tickled his chest. He had pressed a delicate kiss to her head as he felt himself beginning to slip away; oh how she had caught this man in her web.

Diggin' my grave to get a reaction

changing my face and calling it fashion

got no shame,

I love the way you're screaming my name

Second platoon were finally given some form of respite for a fleeting moment when they arrived to Germany as the trucks drove along the road to their new location. Joe and Y/N sat pressed against one another, exchanging amused small talk and making fun of Webster who sat on the opposite side of the man. The man in question rolled his eyes dramatically before turning to Perconte beside him and muttering a frustrated ‘there’s fucking two of them’, to which they traded similar smirks of entertainment.

It was when Joe begun talking to Webster about home that Y/N felt herself shrivel up into herself, dismay making a home under her skin. She tried her best to listen while pushing to suppress the feelings that welled up inside her, yet her ears seemed to subconsciously pick up on a piece of conversation leaving Joe’s mouth.

“-then i’m gonna buy a house, a big house, for all the little Liebgott’s we’re gonna be making.” Her stomach seemed to twist with something she couldn’t quite understand at that comment, a strange sense of envy of someone who was but an idea in Joe’s current life. She racked her mind for reasons as to why she was so uneasy, flashes of her parents coming to mind. Memories of the jealousy fuelled fights emerged in front of her, painting a saddening story of two people who shouldn’t be together, thus sending a spike of worry to snake its way to her heart.

He glanced at her after the words left his mouth yet she seemed completely oblivious and stuck in her own head, an action not missed by Webster as he lowered his head to smirk at the two. Joe’s look of longing had quickly turned to a look of concern as he watched her brows crease in confusion and a flicker of something sad seemed to dull her eyes for a moment. An idea made its way to his head while a smile suddenly rose to Joe’s lips as he reached out, proceeding to grab her gently by the waist, his fingers wiggling. A surprised screech left her lips as the tickling sensation began, her mind leaving its tunnel visioned scene to pull her harshly back to reality. She swatted at his hands but he was relentless as laughter filled the air from the both of them, though hers had been forced from her in the cruelest of ways.

“JOE!” Y/N yelped through choked laughter as his fingers dug into her sides, her body jerking to get away from the man and his tickling hands. She pushed herself away from him, trying to jump across the truck towards Luz only to be pulled once again into his arms. More laughter came from her lips as tears began to fall from her eyes, her sides aching from how much she had been giggling. “JOE! HA! STOP! I’M CRYING.” The sound of the man in question chuckled in amusement, causing most of the men to look at the two with sly smirks while others, like Webster, rolled their eyes with expressions of frustration, hiding the delight they had from the two’s laughter. He called to them, causing them to pull away from one another as he asked for a timeout. Joe sent one last poke into the woman’s side before pulling himself back to his seat, his eyes never leaving her figure. She glanced at him with squinted eyes, recovering her breathing slowly while sending a swift smack to the side of his head. Joe laughed as his head turned from her for second before he came right back, his eyes glistening with an unspoken mirth.

“You are a pain in the ass.” Y/N mumbled, crossing her arms in front of her with a pout while looking away from the man.

“Awh, don’t be like that doll.” He replied, sending a gentle poke to her cheek. Joe continued this to the point of annoyance when she finally threw her hand up to smack his hand away with a hiss. He laughed again, causing a warm feeling to swell in her chest, the smallest of smiles tugging on her lips as she tried desperately to stay looking mad. He caught the look, regardless of her attempt to cover it, his arm throwing itself over her shoulder before pulling her to his chest, exclaiming a loud ‘mwah’ as he pressed a kiss to her hair. “You fucking love me, don’t deny it.” He meant it as a tease, yet the immediate seizing up of her muscles and the shoot of discomfort in her stomach showed she’d caught more in the words. A sense of bitterness crept up in her spine at the sentiment, yet her body fought with her mind to let his arm stay where it was. Don’t tell me not to deny it, because I will.

Lay me in the palm of your hand,

I'll give you my permission,

you'll always be forgiven

Austria was beautiful; the scenery, the peace and quiet, but most importantly to the men was the women. The trucks had pulled in that day, driving past several local women who stood smiling brightly, as if the sun was projecting light from their glowing faces. Y/N felt the discomfort settle even deeper in her stomach, much stronger than it had earlier on the trucks, her mind throwing insults at her, comparing their fresh faces and softly flowing hair to her constantly grimy cheeks and lost cause of a hairdo. The feeling only grew as she watched Joe holler loudly at them as the other men were, a sly smirk on his lips.

The woman was almost at a breaking point, the confusion, frustration, jealousy, dismay, and sadness constantly setting such an unknown and uncomfortable feeling in her body. And yet, it was the added confusion, joy, comfort, pleasure, and warmth that made her feel even worse, like fuel thrown over wood to start a fire; and Joe Liebgott was the fucking match.

Joe’s head had whipped around to make a snarky comment at the woman but he stopped short seeing the look that covered her features. He watched her for a minute, taking note of the tension in her jaw, the way it clenched and relaxed every few seconds, as well as the way her teeth chewed on her bottom lip. The smallest of smiles accompanied with a the common look of adoration covered the man’s face again as his eyes never left the plumpness of her lips.

“Don’t look at me like that.” She muttered lowly, Joe’s brows creasing in confusion at the statement. She had glanced at him while he was lost in his own world, admiring the way she looked while thinking, and recognised the way he was gazing at her all starry eyed. It scared her, feeling like an unnecessary punch to the gut.

“Look at you like what?” He asked, his eyes swimming with concern and confusion yet an undertone of pure adoration flickered the longer he stared at her. She clenched her fists by her side, trying to ease the tension she felt building in her as she swallowed the need to just grab him by the shoulders and yell at him to stop.

“Like that.” She replied after a gulp, her head nodding towards him as she did.

“I’m just looking at you Y/N. I’m confused.”

Go on, replace me,

when you're craving something sweeter

than the words I left in your mouth,

go on and spit me out

The local Austrian bar half the company found themselves in that afternoon while off duty was a warm comfort unlike any place they’d seen in recent months. The liquor flowed plentifully down the throats of many of the joyful men that sat talking to one another, their eyes following the figures of several women who had come to say they’d been smiled at by the American soldiers. Y/N perched herself on a stool beside Grant, and previously Floyd who had left them to flirt with a local girl, as they chatted animatedly while sharing a pint, smiles never leaving their faces.

Y/N’s gaze fell over the environment with a look of curiosity at the idea of the oncoming peace that swept over everyone before it had even arrived. Her eyes strayed several times to the man seated by Skinny and Webster by the window, painting a similar scene of enjoyment as her and Grant had found themselves. This was something the man beside her picked up on as he snorted into her beer in amusement, pulling her eyes to him. She screwed up her face in confusion at his behaviour before taking a sip of her own drink.

“Do tell what’s got you giggling Grant?”

“I just think it funny, you and Liebgott.” The man said, flicking his gaze between the two of them.

“What do you mean ‘you and Liebgott’? Me and Liebgott what?” Y/N asked, her eyebrows drawing further towards one another, her forehead creasing with frown lines.

“You guys...together. It’s an interesting pairing.”

“Together? The fuck does that mean?”

"You guys being together...as a couple?" Grant looked confused and borderline uncomfortable at this point, unsure where the conversation was going and why the woman was reacting as she was.

"What? You nuts?" She all but screeched, a few heads turning before looking away quickly after receiving a sneering glare from the woman who was growing more stressed by the second.

"What? So you're not?"

"How long-how long you been thinking this?"

"I don’t know, I overheard Luz saying to Perconte bout how he’s talked about it with most of the other guys, just kinda assumed..." Y/N’s heart dropped to her stomach for some reason at this revelation, panic setting into her bones as she scrounged up some kind of escape plan. Her fight or flight seemed to flare up almost as much as it would while in the field, her breath increasing in growing worry. This is what she wanted...was it?

“Everyone...thinks Joe and I are together...more than friends?” She muttered to herself, her brain running thoughts through her head at speed, like a bullet from a chamber until it could hit the centre of a target. Her spine straightened suddenly, giving Grant the slightest of frights as his eyes continued to watch her movements as she stood quickly. Her feet took a step forward towards Floyd who stood leaning against a wall, smiling down at a woman who seemed to be fluttering her lashes at him. He spun around in a flash as Y/N had shouted his name, heads turning to look at her from all angles of the bar. He barely had a chance to mutter a word before she pulled his face to hers, planting a firm kiss to his lips. Her panic drove her to madness as she clutched at the idea of anything to calm her frightened nerves. Floyd hummed in shock for a moment before melting to the woman’s lips, his hands moving to grasp her waist almost aggressively. The two had stood wrapped up in each other even after they’d heard the harsh slam of the bar door, until eventually a voice called to her gently.

Y/N was reluctant to pull away as she savoured the feeling of another’s lips on hers, the taste of cigarettes and beer inhaling her fully for a split second from the reality of things. She pulled away at another call of her name, recognising the voice to be Babe, Floyd’s eyes asking so many questions as she stared at him for a moment. He let worry take over him as she saw the almost distraught look on her face, her mind running so fast that she couldn’t distinguish any of her emotions from each other; and god was it driving her mad.

Y/N barely glanced at Babe or anyone else for that matter as she stumbled backwards and sprinted out of the bar back to her room, only taking notice of the absence of one man. Babe looked at where she disappeared from for a moment before making eye contact with an equally confused Floyd whoo simply shrugged his shoulders in defeat. The man sighed before shaking his head, inevitably knowing she wanted him to follow her as he took off in a run out the door.

Y/N let out a loud sigh as she wandered down the hallway to her room, Babe close on her heels as he tried to talk to her to calm the frustrated woman. She felt his presence yet heard nothing that came from his lips as her mind swallowed itself whole, throwing her into a swirling pool of ‘what ifs’ and ‘why the fucks’. More flashes of her parents came to her, hard and so goddamn fast that she almost felt dizzy; a technicolour of jealousy, spite, pain, misery. It ate at her, and she wanted nothing more than for it to just stop. She just wanted to feel anything but this; anything. They approached the door quickly as the woman let out a huff, throwing the door open and taking a step inside. She turned towards the man with her, her hand resting on the edge of the door, holding it open for him while he hesitated to step in.

“You coming in or you just going to stand there like an idiot?”

“Is this really a good idea, I mean, isn’t Joe already upset enough.”

“That isn’t my problem, he knows we’re nothing more than friends just like I am with you. You didn’t get jealous when I kissed Tab so why should he have the right to?” She all but spat, growing impatient as she tried to ignore every other feeling in her brain, guilt from her harsh words about Joe now added on top of that. The young man sighed when he realised nothing he was going to say was going to change her mind, throwing his head back to look at the ceiling as if asking God for forgiveness in advance.

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you Y/N.” He replied, looking back at her as she stepped towards him, grasping at his tie and tugging him to her.

“Stop talking and fuck me already Babe.”

There hadn’t been any talking from that point on aside from the occasional mumble of slurred curses from Babe as she grabbed at him, allowing her to have her way with him in a way he shouldn’t have. The two of them had always been so carefree about their little arrangement, just another plus of their close friendship and nothing more, but as he took her how he always had he felt the guilt build up in his stomach. Joe had become one of his closest friends bar the woman who was currently withering in ecstasy underneath him and the feeling ate him alive as much as he tried not to think about it. Babe had been the one Joe had confined in about Y/N and his feelings towards him and yet here he was, groaning in pleasure as he touched the woman in ways good friends should not.

Y/N was in a similar state of confusion and guilt. Her mind ran a thousand miles an hour as she tried to suppress the urge to compare the two men she had been rolling around the sheets with, yet it had constantly come back to the man who had plagued her thoughts for weeks in ways he shouldn’t. Her confusion stemmed from the emotion that bubbled in her chest at the idea of the day she’d had, the green-eyed monster that had stirred in her at the sight of the pretty, blonde Austrian girl so close to someone who wasn’t hers. All this flew through her head as she lay beneath the body of another and it infuriated her. Why? Why was she so caught up on the man? Why was he any different to the men she’d been with before and why was she so wrapped up in the idea of him?

Y/N and Babe spent the rest of the afternoon pressed against one another’s bodies, both trying to gulp down the torturous feelings of guilt that nagged at them. When the man pulled his clothes back on slowly, his eyes wandered to the figure still lying on the bed, her chin resting on her hand with a far away look on her face. He pursed his lips, wondering if he should bring up Joe and continue their previous argument but had decided against it, finishing lacing his boots up before walking towards the door. His back faced her, his hand resting on the doorknob as he paused for a moment. Running his tongue over his top teeth, he glanced back one more time, staring at the woman who hadn’t moved since he’d stood to get dressed before shaking his head and ripping the door open. Y/N didn’t even look towards the door as he shut it, her lip pulling between her teeth as she tried to fight the feelings of disgust and guilt she had towards herself. Babe took two steps away from her door fixing his hair and straightening his clothes before he looked up from his shoes. His eyes found their place on a figure standing at the end of the hall, hands clenched into fists and nostrils flaring in rage. Joe shook his head while letting out a chuckle of disappointment, an unamused smirk pulling to his lips before turning and storming off down the stairs, leaving Babe standing wide eyed and deflated.

I only light up when cameras are flashing,

never enough and no satisfaction

Y/N had been feeling the weight of her emotions beginning to tip dangerously far to one side of the scale, her mind ready to explode at the addition of any extra stress. Joe had yet to speak to the woman in a few days, so it was to everyones shock and surprise that he had been the first to jump at the chance to defend her honour. In the state of chaos, Y/N followed the man outside to talk to him as he rushed out the door of the bar, her mouth opening to yell as soon as she left the warm of the indoors.

“Why the fuck did you do that Joe? He was twice your size.” She yelled after him, her feeting picking up the pace to reach him. Joe spun around immediately, his face still red from rage.

“You should have heard the things he said about you Y/N. What else was I supposed to do?” He countered, fists clenched at his side.

“You don’t need to defend me like that for fucks sake, i’m not a child.” She replied harshly, feeling the scales tip as the emotions begun to slid off the uneven surface and escape her mouth. Joe let out a huff, an unamused smile on his face as he ran a hand through his hair, tugging the ends harshly.

“Nothing I do ever seems to be enough for you.” He spat, surprising her as he’d never spoken to her with such a tone.

“Wh-what?” She stuttered out quietly. He just stood still, staring directly at her without an answer. Her frustration grew as everything started to implode on itself. “What do you want from me?”

“What do I want from you? I’ve given you fucking everything, Y/N. Everything I have, everything I am, I’ve given it to you.” Joe said with his voice raising higher in volume with every word he spoke.

“I never asked you to do that for me Joe. I’m not fucking yours so stop acting like I am.” Y/N replied, pointing at herself as she did. The man let out a yell of frustration to the sky before taking several steps closer to her.

“LOVING YOU HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH POSSESSING YOU! I JUST WANT YOU TO LOVE ME BACK.” He screamed at her, a visible vein popping along his forehead at the tension he held in his body. He stopped short at her taken aback look, his body loosening slightly while his eyes seemed to begin to swim with tears. “Just-just a little bit of your love, that’s all I want. Fuck Y/N, i’d continue to let you walk all over me, be with these other guys no matter how much it fucking hurts just for the sake of being able to see that there’s a little space on your heart with my name written on it.” He all but whispered the last part to her while watching her face so intently for a reaction. The woman didn’t know what to say, her mouth only opening and closing like a fish out of water as she pondered his words. “Forget it. This was a mistake and I really can’t do it anymore.”

Y/N thought she had been forcing herself to bleed so he wouldn’t have to, yet it had been him taking a knife to the heart, and even a few to the back, the whole time while she stood with her hand clutching the handle. She’d told herself to stay away from him when he started getting too close, played around with other guys in hopes he would leave before he’d have to see the ugly side she hid away. She’d gotten jealous about someone who was yet to be in Joe’s life yet kissed Tab in front of everyone to prove a point she wasn’t even sure she needed to make, continued to sleep with Babe even after he’d brought up that it wasn’t a good idea. She’d done all of it in hopes that he would lose the adoration in his eyes when he looked at her so she wouldn’t get the chance to act like the abysmal role models of ‘love’ that were her parents; and yet that is exactly what she did.

She knew in that moment she should let him go, for the both of them, yet something inside of her seemed to jump out and take ahold of the reigns, pushing her body to throw a hand out to grab his shoulder.

“No, no Joe please. I don’t want you to go, I want you to stay, please stay.” Her eyes were swimming with tears at this point, much like the set of eyes that turned to looked back at her. He shook his head, screwing his face up as a single tear fell along his cheek.

“Just another thing you want in spite of how others are feeling, huh Y/N?”

He walked away from her with hast, another hidden tear slipping down his cheek while he got lost in his own thoughts. The problem with a woman like Y/N is that he knew he would continue to love her, even if it had to be from afar.

Got no shame,

I love the way you're screaming my name

“JOE! PLEASE!” Y/N screamed after him as she felt the sudden burst of emotion flowing out of her, taking long strides to grab at him again. He threw his arm out of her grasp, spinning around to tell her to piss off but stopped short with a gulp. The broken look on her face is something he hadn’t seen on her before; pain and sadness, happiness and joy, anger and malice all yes but never such a shattered look. A sob left her throat as she looked up at him, her fingers gripping at the sleeves of her shirt out of anxious habit. “Please, stay. Listen, that’s all I’m asking. If you still wanna walk away after that then I’ll-I’ll let you go, please. I can’t let you leave without trying.” She stuttered out, causing Joe to nod his slowly, taking his tongue between his teeth to stop him from biting back. “I can’t take back the shit i’ve done no matter how much I wish I could, but i’m trying my best to do better and I’m starting with this.” She continued before taking a deep breath. She recounted it all, the lies, the cheating, jealousy, spite, pain, grief, loneliness, greed, confusion, loss, solitude; all of it. Joe listened to it, taking it in as well as he could as she told him of her parents, her childhood and how she doesn’t know what the fuck she’s doing half the time but how she didn’t have any choice but to learn. His heart ached for the woman he loved and the emotion she was expressing to him, watched as every single thing she’d been holding in for so long was finally slipping from her eyes and down her face. He fell in love with her again, all over again, as he saw her now, raw and vulnerable, his Y/N.

“If-if i could be a different person, could have lived a different life, trust me, I would have. I’ve never had good role models, never been shown how to love people without being greedy and hateful. I’ve only ever known how to take the good from people and spit them back out when I’m done with them. I’m-i’m still learning how to not be that person, but I am, I promise. I just-I just need someone to show me how.” Y/N said, several tears running down her cheeks as she did. Joe let his hand move to run his thumb over them to clear the salty liquid from her face, not liking the way she looked so lost.

“I was kinda hoping it would be you. If you’d have me.” She whispered to him, looking up at him almost sheepishly to see the smile that was slowly moving to his lips.

“I thought you’d never ask. Cause god knows you’ve had me since day one.” He reached out in that moment, taking a hold of her waist before dipping down to meet her lips with his. They stood wrapped in one another arms for a few minutes, giving in to the feelings, giving in to each other. They pulled away from one another for a moment, their eyes never leaving each other as she muttered the next words, her lips ghosting over his.

“Take it. Take all of it. I don’t want the heart beating in my chest if your name isn’t written all over it.”

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