#so they feel like they need to give us nicer labels

[rafferty3207]

hi! could i request jamie x reader. neighbours. annoyance to lovers please?

I loved this idea and also got massively carried away as always, so this will have to be split in two parts!

warnings: two horny idiots as usual, swearing, artist fem!reader, nudity

Too Good to be True (part one)

You knew it was too good to be true.

When your mum’s quirky bohemian friend Sylvia told you that she needed someone to house sit over the summer, you never realised it would look like this. You had always known she was well-off, but it turns out Sylvia was rich rich. Her house was in a beautiful area of London you had never been before, full of tall semi terraced Georgian buildings with big ornate gardens. It was the sort of area almost exclusively frequented by yummy mummies and incognito celebrities.

As you walk around all the gorgeous rooms, tenderly stroking the furniture, you felt like you couldn’t have wished for a nicer place if you tried. After living in an awful house share with terrible roommates for the last six months, you were ready for some alone time.

This was not to be. On your first day in the house, after several hours exploring all the nooks and crannies, you eventually fall asleep in her massive bed around midnight; however, you are rudely awoken about four hours later by the sound of arguing outside. You try to ignore them but it only gets louder, until you are forced to put on one of Sylvia’s many(!) silk robes and investigate.

You march outside to see two men facing each other in the doorframe of the house attached to yours.

“Would you two mind shutting the fuck up? It’s 4am and some of us are trying to sleep?”

They both turned around. They are both incredibly handsome; one is dark and surly looking and standing outside with his arms crossed. The other has an incredible jawline and floppy boyband hair, and is still standing in the doorway. The boyband one looks you up and down and you feel your cheeks heat up. It’s times like these you regretted sleeping in the nude, as you huddle the way-too-thin robe tightly around you. He eventually folds his arms indignantly and opens his mouth.

“Love, you don’t understand, we’re -”

“I do not give a flying fuck who you are, just be quiet. I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in months and I’m not about to have two bozos ruin it with their lover’s tiff.” 

You huff, turning swiftly back indoors before a sharp night’s breeze could expose you.

The surly man who had remained quiet for this entire exchange turns to his friend.

“I like her.”

____

The next morning, you open the front door to find a small beautiful wrapped box.On the label it just says,

Hey Neighbour,

Sweet Dreams 

Jamie xx

Jamie. That must have been the floppy haired one.

You tentatively open it to find a small pair of earplugs. The cheeky git. 

However, that night when you climb into bed, you spot the box of earplugs. You don’t want to use them out of spite, but also you are shattered and couldn’t risk getting woken up again.

You were surprised to wake up a whole 12 hours later. It's the best you've felt in a long time. You look up the earplugs online and it turns out they are very expensive. He may be rude, but at least he wasn't cheap. You consider thanking him, especially as you start regularly seeing him stretching or working out in the garden, until one day he catches you looking.  He waves at you with the smug grin of a prick who knows how good he looks, and you have to immediately walk away. At this point you decide never to talk to him again if you can help it. After all, it was just one summer - how much could you see him really?

It’s the next Sunday when you are walking home from your weekly shop in perhaps your grossest sweats, hair everywhere and glasses still on. To make matters worse, you're struggling as you always buy too much to fit into your bag.

It’s at this point when some dreadful orange sports car pulls up next to you and honks their horn, making you nearly jump out of your skin and drop half your stuff on the ground. You turn around just to see a familiar smug face as he waves at you before speeding off. No, he is a prick.

After you make it home, you decide to forget all about him. But these are old houses, and the walls are thinner than you’d like. More specifically, a week or so later, as you get into bed you think you can hear a voice. You think it may be a ghost, until you hear a distinct Mancunian twang and you realise that Jamie’s bedroom is directly connected to yours (or at least one of them was, who was to say how many bedrooms these sorts of houses had.) It’s when you hear another, softer voice that you realise that maybe Jamie has company.

But it’s fine. He’s allowed to have people over. You go back to your book until ten minutes later, when you start hearing very different noises. He definitely was not alone. And clearly whoever he was with was having a great time.

Your stomach tightens. This isn't just annoying at this point, it’s downright depressing. You can't remember the last time someone made you feel like that. As much of a patronising shit as he was, you had to admit that Jamie was very attractive. You try to keep reading, but you soon find your imagination straying into unwanted territory. Your entire body goes flush when you catch yourself, so you put your earplugs in and go to sleep. Eventually.

—-

It's a blisteringly hot day and you've made the mistake of buying yet another heavy shop. As you're walking home, you're covered in sweat. You're trying to get home as fast as you can before some of the food defrosts in this heat, but it's like wading through hot sticky mud.

You take one more step and suddenly feel a bit lightheaded. You stagger to a nearby wall and sit down, looking down at your feet. It's at this point that of course you see out of the corner of your eye, a familiar orange car pulling up in front of you. You wave a hand away.

"Not now Jamie." 

"Are you alright?"

You look up and he's got a genuine look of concern on his face.

"Yeah, I just needed a breather. If you haven't noticed, it's very hot out here."

He pauses for a moment.

"Did you want a lift?"

"I'm good, thanks. It's not that far."

"Don't be daft, just get in the car."

"Jamie -"

"It's got really good air con."

You look at your bags. You really didn't want the food to go bad in this heat.

"Fine."

You drop your bags into the bag and slide into the seat next to him. You can't help but notice how gross and sweaty you were on his nice leather seats.

"Sorry, I'm very gross and sweaty." You immediately say without thinking.

He looks over and laughs.

"Trust me, this car has seen a lot worse."

You groan.

"Oh come on, I don't need to imagine that."

"I just meant after training, Jesus woman, get your head out of the gutter!"

"Training for what?"

He laughs again. "You're joking, right?"

You shake your head.

"You seriously don't know who I am?"

"Should I?"

He smiles as he looks back out to the road.

"Nah, I guess not."

You look around his car.

"All I need to know is that you've clearly got more money than sense."

"Oi, I'm doing you a favour here like a bloody gentleman!"

“I mean I don’t know if this is really a favour. You could be kidnapping me for all I know.”

“Love, I’ve got more than enough money. I do not need to kidnap some random bird for a ransom.”

“Who says you’re doing it for money?”

He sighs and shakes his head.

“You’re impossible, you know that?”

“Impossible, or just practical? Us ‘random birds’ have got to look out for ourselves.”

“Well then, Your Highness, we have arrived.” Jamie signals to your door as the car pulls to a stop.  “You can get out now, I promise.”

You get out and go to get your bags,but Jamie quickly grabs them and is walking to your door. You run ahead, making sure you’ll be able to get in and clear any embarrassing debris before he can see it.

"You don't have to do that, you know." 

He shrugs. "I used to help my mum carry her shopping all the time when it was just me and her. Now I just pay to get it delivered to her house." 

You stop at the front door. The admission strikes you. You wondered for a moment what Jamie was like when he was younger. You wondered where his dad was. However, Jamie didn’t understand your silence.

“I’m not trying anything, I swear. I won’t come in and …” He looks around. “Steal your knickers or whatever.”

You scoff as you turn around.

“That’s a weird thing to say.”

He huffs in exasperation.

“Look, my arms are going to drop off, can you just open the bloody door already?”

“Alright, but if any one of my knickers are gone, you’re in serious trouble.” 

“Aye aye captain.” He tries to salute, but wacks himself in the face with one of the bags. You stifle a laugh, before letting him in. He smiles at you for a moment, and you feel an unfamiliar warm feeling in your chest. Best to just ignore that and get back to the task at hand.

As you put everything away, he looks around. There are unfinished canvas and paint everywhere.

"Are you one of them fancy pants artists then?"

"Not yet. I'm one of those unpaid ones.” You suddenly feel very shy. “I'm just house-sitting for the summer, I'm not rich. Unlike you.”

“So no one is paying your ransom then?”

“No one would pay good money for me. In fact, they might actually pay you for taking me away.” You say it flippantly, but Jamie sees the slightly dejected look on your face.

“So maybe you should be the one kidnapping me, eh? I tell you, I’d go for a pretty penny.” He gently biffs your arm. You don’t look at him, continuing to pack away the shopping.

“Well if I ever have to turn to a life of crime, you’ll be the first to know.”

He stands around for a minute, as if he’s not sure what to do with himself, before going to leave.

“Thanks, by the way.” You call out.

He turns around and shrugs.

“Any time.”

“I wouldn’t say that if I were you. Next thing you know, you’ll be my personal Uber.”

He jogs down the front steps, without looking back.

“Only if you start tipping!”

___

A few days later, you're gardening when suddenly a ball crashes into the ground right near your hand. You scream, causing Jamie to pop his head over.

"Jesus Jamie, are you trying to kill me?"

You stand up and dust your knees. He's got that concerned look on his face yet again. 

"Are you alright?"

You reassure him. "I'm fine, you just missed me.” You pinch your fingers almost together. “Just."

He looks sheepish.

"I'm sorry."

You fold your arms.

"You should be."

As you say this, two other men peer their head over the fence.

"Sorry miss. We're just playing a round of cricket."  One replies in a soft Welsh accent. Behind them, you notice the surly man sitting in the back of the garden, who nods at you.

"Roy's taking a break if you want to join?" Jamie offers you the bat.

"Are you asking me to play with you Jamie?" 

"Well, you're less likely to get hit in this garden."

"Hmmm." You think of all the empty canvas you were ignoring. "Fine, but let me get changed first."

As you start to walk into the house, one of the boys turns to Jamie.

"You didn't tell me your neighbour was fit."

"Isaac, don’t even think about it.”  Jamie chides him. Something about this made your stomach feel squiggly, but you couldn’t put a name on it. 

This squiggly feeling means it takes you a little longer than planned to get dressed, as you meticulously scrub the dirt from your hands and knees and maybe apply a tinted lipbalm or two. By the time you come back out, the men seem to have doubled and one of them has somehow set up a barbecue. The game of cricket seems long forgotten as they sit and drink around the fire pit. You pick up a beer bottle and wander around, trying to slip into one of the group conversations.

“When do you think Ted and Rebecca will get together?” A man with a strong french accent says.

“I dunno, I still think him and Trent have got something going on.” Colin muses thoughtfully. Isaac nods with him.

“Yeah man, there were vibes between them at Christmas.”

You decide to pipe up now before you have to figure out who Ted, Trent or Rebecca was.

"Sorry to interrupt, but how do you all know each other?".

The boys look at each other, then Jamie.

"We all play football together." Jamie finally breaks the silence.

"Oh that's cute!” You look around at this crew. They are all very handsome, but all looked very different, from all walks of life.  “It's so hard to make friends as an adult I find, so it's good to have hobbies. Do you think I'll be allowed to come to one of your matches?"

They all look at each other again and start to laugh. You think you've missed something but you figure it's some inside joke.

One of the guys, who you think you heard referred to as Sam, leans forward. "So Miss, what do you do for a living?" 

You take a swig from your bottle.

"I'm an art teacher. I teach at the local college, although it's mainly adult evening classes. You know the saying, ‘those who can't do, teach’.  At least, that’s what my dad likes to say."

"But you can do though." Jamie pipes up from behind his beer. "I've seen all them canvas in your house."

"Ah, you are a painter. Are you more of a modernist or post modernist?" Jan, the tall Dutch one asks.

"I don’t know, I mean I've got a show at the end of the summer which I'm preparing for but I'm not very good-"

"If you've got a show you must be good. Or at least someone thinks so." Jamie folds his arms.

“I mean, I guess, the guy at the gallery did personally invite me-.”

“There you go.” Jamie nodded triumphantly.

“Can we see them? The paintings?” Sam asked.

“Not yet! They are nowhere near ready!” This was somewhat true. For the most part, you had barely started. You had been struggling for inspiration lately, but you weren’t going to tell this extremely attractive group of men that. “You’ll have to come to the art show. I’ve got some flyers in the house. I can get them if you like?”

The boys enthusiastically nod, and you make sure to hand them each one, with Jamie receiving the last flyer. Your fingers brush for a moment, and you find yourself staring at each other a bit too long until you are interrupted by a loud cough.

“The meat is ready, Jamie.” Roy loudly announced.

“Coming!”

The rest of the night goes quickly in a blur, as all the boys bombard you with questions and you find yourself chatting to all of them in depth. You’re pretty sure you know all their life stories by the end of it. Eventually, the night wears on and they all slope off one by one until it’s just you, Jamie and Roy left. Roy is sound asleep on Jamie’s couch, and the two of you quietly start cleaning up.

“You don’t have to help me, you know.” Jamie says. “I’m a big boy, I can clean up after meself.”

You drop a can into the recycling bag.

“I know. But a nice guy dropped me off when I was struggling to take my shopping home, so I thought I’d return the favour.”

Jamie stopped what he was doing.

“You don’t owe me anything.”

You looked at him confused.

“I know.”

The two of you go back to tidying in silence.

“So, Isaac thinks I’m fit, does he?”

Jamie drops the bottle he was holding. He frantically grabs a dustpan and brush and frantically starts brushing the broken glass. Roy stirs for a minute, then rolls back over. You gently took the dustpan off him and empty it into the bin.

“No! Er, I mean, he does, but he thinks anything with a pulse is fit.”

“So you’re saying he’s got low standards?”

“No, that’s not what I meant, it’s just- just-”

“I’m teasing. I obviously know that just means he has excellent taste.”

“And I thought I had a big head.”

“I mean, you do, but that’s beside the point.”

“Oi, I can say it, but you can’t!” At this point, Jamie puts down the bag and picks up the hose.

“What do you think you’re doing with that?” You ask.

“What do you think?” He says, before switching it on, chasing you with the spray. You run away, screaming.

“I’ll get you for this!” 

“Oh yeah? What are you going to do to me?” He moves the hose to catch you again, but at the exact same time Roy walks outside and Jamie catches him in the face. You both freeze.

“Well I’ll see you tomorrow, Jamie!” You quickly leave, waving a goodbye as you start to hear the beginning of Roy’s bollocking.

Later, as you go up to your bedroom and dry your hair with a towel, you spot Jamie and Roy chatting in the garden. Jamie looks up at you and smiles. You smile and wave back, before pointing at your still soaking t-shirt.

“I hope you’re proud.” You mouth at him. He shrugs and you shake his head.

Roy turns to Jamie.

“When are you just going to fucking ask her out already?”

___

After the barbecue you start to see Jamie more often. 

He almost always drops you home from your big shop,  and sometimes drops you there too. He always says hello when you're in the garden and even starts asking for gardening advice. 

One day, when it is too hot, you buy a child's paddling pool to sit in your bikini. Jamie, who has been trying and failing to do his workout in the sun, asks if he can join you and the two of you sit in it in silence until the sun goes down. Both of you are definitely not checking each other out behind your sunglasses when the other isn’t looking.

Then one night, you go out with some of your old university friends. What was meant to be just one drink turns into several bottles and you find yourself outside the front door at 3am trying to get the key to work. 

After what feels like forever, you hear a door open.

"Oh, how the turn tables."

"Hello Jamie." You slur a little, swaying gently. "If you don't mind I could really do with focusing right now."

"Well it seems like you are doing just fine without me, so I'll leave you to it." He goes inside, sighing before coming straight back out again.

"Do you want to come in? Maybe have a cup of tea? Some toast?"

Your shoulders sag, "I would love that, yes. My feet are absolutely killing me." You follow him as enthusiastically as you can while he gently takes your arm and guides you in.

You flop down on the couch, quickly taking off your shoes and putting your feet up.

"Jamie, how long have you lived here?"

"About six months, why?"

"There's no decoration in here at all. This is the house of a killer, Jamie." He pops back around holding two mugs.

"I mean, I dunno. I'm not sure how to make it look good.

"It doesn't have to look good. It's your house. It just has to make you happy. What makes you happy Jamie?"

He takes a minute to think, screwing up his face in concentration.

“Bums?”

“Bums?”

“I like what I like.”

“Hmmm. We can work with that. Perhaps a big tasteful nude somewhere around here.” You wave your hand towards the fireplace.

“Do you paint nudes?” Jamie pauses for a moment. “Nude is them pictures of naked people right?”

“Yeah they are and are you asking me to paint you a nude Jamie? Men usually slide into my DMS for that sort of thing.”

“Not like that. I just think your art is really cool. It reminds me of that guy…what’s his name? Frankie Bakeoff?”

“Francis Bacon?”

“Yeah, that’s the one.”

“He’s actually one of my inspirations. You know, you've got a good eye Jamie.”

He sits down, placing the mugs on the table. 

“Er, I’ve got two good eyes actually.” He remains completely deadpan and at this point, you let out a proper laugh. 

“You know I never asked you what you do for a living. I mean, you’re obviously a comedian but you know, for money. Especially to live in a place like this.”

“I’m a footballer.”

“Haha, yeah, good one.”

“I don’t know why that’s so hard to believe. My name is Jamie Tartt and I play for AFC Richmond.” 

You squint at him, before pulling out your phone. You type in “Jamie Tartt.” And suddenly there are thousands and thousands of articles and pictures with tiny Jamies staring back at you.

“Oh my god. And all those boys at the BBQ -”

“They are my teammates.”

“Why didn’t you say anything earlier?” You cry out, putting your face in your hands. “I told all of them about my dad’s five a side! They must all think I’m a complete idiot!”

“Nah. They all thought it was pretty cute.”

“I’m glad someone finds my stupidity cute.”

“I dunno, I think a lot of stuff you do is cute.”

Your face goes red. He can’t have meant that. You look at him. He truly is beautiful, although he must know it. You remembered the woman in his room. He could get anyone and you know it.

“Have you ever done modelling Jamie?”

“I mean yeah. I’ve done shoots for stuff. Adidas, Nike and my own fragrance for men, Tarttbreaker.”

“What the hell does that even mean? You know what, never mind, I was just wondering..would you fancy posing? For a painting?” You look at your feet. “It’s just, I’m so sick of painting myself and oranges at this point.”

His eyes light up.

“Really? You want to paint me?”

“Don’t let it go to that massive head of yours Tartt.”

“I can’t promise anything.” He sits down next to you, placing the mugs on the table. The throbbing in your feet still hasn’t gone away, and without thinking you start rubbing your soles. Curse those beautiful shoes, you think to yourself.

“Here, I can help with that.” You didn’t realise Jamie was staring at your feet.

“What?”

“Trust me, I’m really good at foot rubs.”

“Is this some weird foot thing?”

“No, you perv. My physio showed me some really good tricks. You know the physio I have because I am a professional footballer, yeah?” You roll your eyes as he gently takes your foot.

“You’re never going to let me live that do-”

You can’t finish the sentence as you are distracted by just how good it feels. A small “fuck” slips out.

“Is that alright? I didn’t hurt ya, did I? I can stop.”

“No, no no no. No.”

You are surprised by your own enthusiasm. He slowly starts again, and you say nothing, until a small moan slips out. Jamie’s head suddenly whips up. 

“I mean, I think my ankles are more sore than anything -” He moves his hands up, moving his thumbs in slow circles. You thought this would improve things, but it’s just making things worse. Your heart is racing.

“And what about your calves?”

You nod dumbly. “They’re pretty - pretty sore too.”

His hands hesitantly move up your leg, up to your knees. His face inches closer to yours, his hands about to move down your thigh, when your stomach very loudly rumbles. He jumps up and your legs close shut.

“I was going to make you toast.”

“Yes, yes you were.” He leaves the room and you lie back on the couch. Your head is spinning.. What is going on? You think as your eyes slowly start to close. 

By the time Jamie finally returns to the room, two very distracted attempts at toast later, you are fast asleep on the couch. He picks up a blanket and covers you, before heading upstairs. He then lies down, closing his eyes for just a minute, until there is a soft knock on the door. 

“Are you ready for training, fuckhead?”

“Shh.” He points to you, sound asleep and snoring.

Roy tilts his head. Jamie whispers. “I’ll explain later.”

______

You wake up with a pounding headache. It takes you a second to realise you are not in your bed. You are on someone’s couch. Jamie’s couch.

You look at your phone. 9:03am. You look around for any sign of him, but it seems like he’s gone already. YOu decide to wash up the mugs, before you spot it on his fridge. There is no decoration in any of his flat, except one flyer that is stuck on the fridge. Your flyer.

You smile, before finding a piece of paper and a pen.

That afternoon, you return to your flat. Looking at your big canvas you know what to do.

___

Jamie finally gets back to his flat and he is exhausted. He hasn’t been able to stop thinking about last night, and as he suspected, you are long gone by the time he gets home.

However, as he walks through, he notices a little note stuck on the fridge in front of your flyer. 

Thanks for the tea and the footrub.

You can wake me up any time.

X

PS. Let me know when you’re free, you poser.

With your number added to the bottom.

He can’t help but smile to himself, before wandering out into the garden.

He hopes to see you there, but you’re not. He looks back towards the house and stops dead in his tracks. He can see you in one of the rooms, in front of one of your canvas. But you are completely naked. 

He looks away. He knows he shouldn’t. But maybe he just imagined it. He takes another quick look to confirm, you are definitely naked as the day you were born. You have your back to him, but it’s clear you are looking in some sort of mirror. He suddenly realises. You’re painting yourself. He walks quickly inside and decides it’s time to go to bed. He puts his earplugs in and goes to sleep. Eventually.

Thanks for reading! You can read chapter two here!

[thespacesoffalseandtrue]

After All This Time

pairing: josh x (f) reader

summary: you visit your partner while he’s away on tour and you both can’t resist one another.

warnings: unprotected sex, smut, minors dni, fingering (f) receiving, some fluff in there too. let me know if i miss anything and as usual my requests are open ;)

The hallway was brightly lit and smelt clean. This was a nice hotel, much nicer than the ones they used to stay at when things were just beginning to pick up. You could hear your footsteps echo throughout the empty hallway and you bring your hand to knock on the door labelled 316. You knew he would be in there, alone, preparing for the show happening tomorrow evening. Everyone else, was out having their fun, but he needed detachment. Something he has always needed before he went on stage.

You waited and heard the oncoming footsteps and the door swung open. He wasn’t expecting you and the look of surprise filled his features. You’re pulled from the doorway, and into the large hotel room in less than two seconds. His arms wrap around you, crushing you in a bear hug.

“Surprise,” you murmur into his shoulder. He smelt the same, like cedar, and leather, and something so him that only you would recognize it. You wrap your arms around him and give him a tight squeeze.

“What’re you doing here? I thought you wouldn’t be here for a couple more days?” Josh rushes out, his face buried in your hair.

“I just missed you,” you respond, “I couldn’t wait any longer to see you.” You whisper, pulling him even tighter to you.

He broke the hug, but kept your body close to his. His nose touched yours and he brought his lips to yours. It was a whisper of a kiss, nothing to express the desperation to see him that you have felt for the past few weeks. He brought his hands to your sides and gave you a squeeze. Causing you to bend away, giddy with laughter, taking a few steps away.

“Don’t tickle me,” you say with a grin. He matches your expression and reaches his hands out to you.

“I missed your laugh, I can’t help it,” he responds, moving towards you again.

You move around him, deeper into the hotel room. It was easy to see how he would get lonely here. It was much too big for him. A large couch sat against the wall facing the TV and parallel to large windows that overlooked the night life of the city. You can see bits of him scattered around. The paperback book with folded pages sitting on the table, the hot cup of tea, and the folded clothes on the bed.

His arms wrap around you and you do little to break away from him. The two of you broke into fits of laughter instantly as you hit the couch and his body weight crashed on top of yours, smooshing you into the cushions underneath you. He hovered over you and held himself up with his hands slightly so that all of his weight wasn’t fully on you. You threw your head back laughing and when you looked back at him, he had a wide smile on his face. He scrunched up his nose and squinted his eyes as he smiled.

He relaxed his face and looked at you underneath him for a second. You looked back into his eyes. They were filled with love and you couldn't help but wonder if he saw the same in yours.

He licked his lips as he looked down at you. A devilish smirk spread across his face and in an instant, he leaned onto you, pushing you deeper onto the couch, and nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck.

He kissed lightly on your lips and moved his lips to nip playfully at your neck. You giggled at the feeling of his lips on your neck and his facial hair tickling your skin. He giggled back and his entire body vibrated on top of yours. He let out laughs through his nose, pushing out hot air onto your skin.

You moved your shoulder up in an attempt to push his head out from that spot. It worked a little, but the way he folded his lips over his teeth and playfully took soft bites out of where your neck met your shoulders made you involuntarily tip your head in the opposite direction as you laughed harder.

You reached up and snuck your hand in between your neck and his face, using it to push his face away. You went to tickle his neck, where he was the most ticklish. He let out a giggle and scrunched his head into his shoulder, swishing your hand.

“How does this feel?” You teased him in a mocking tone.

As he smiled, you caught a glimpse of the dimple that came out only on his left cheek. You pulled your hand to touch it and bring his face back down to yours. This kiss was different from the ones before as the energy shifted between the two of you. Hands began to explore through the fabric of each other's clothes.

He stood up swiftly, grabbed your hand, and walked you into the bedroom. You didn’t hesitate to bring your lips back to his as you walked backwards until you felt the bed on the back of your knees. You pulled him on top of you as you laid down against the fluffy white comforter.

“Can I take this off?” he whispered against your lips, tugging the hem of your tshirt.

You nodded and arched your back slightly so he could throw it over your head, leaving you exposed in only your bra. He didn’t waste any time, bringing his lips against the hollow of your neck, then your collarbone, then your shoulder. His hand slipped underneath the strap of your bra tugging it down your arm. You knew what he wanted and you shifted slightly up so that he could unclasp it from behind your back. His eyes met yours, is this okay?

You smiled at him, gave him a quick kiss and brought his hands to the clasp behind your back.

In one swift move he has the bra unclasped and thrown on the floor with your shirt.

Pressing his hips to yours, he kisses you until you're breathless, slowly grinding himself down against you. A moan from you is stifled by his lips, but he smiles a little anyway, loving the sound. Then, he pulls away and begins to kiss down your naked torso, first starting at your throat and leisurely begins trailing his lips down your sternum. Your breathing picks up when you feel his hot breath between the valley of your breasts and your head pushes back into the pillows when he sucks at the nipple on your left breast. He hums against your skin, his tongue licking and nipping at your skin and making your back arch. He grins as you do so, making his teeth lightly graze against you and a shocked gasp rips away from your throat. your body was buzzing, every touch, even just a light graze, felt like a shock.

“Josh..." you sigh, closing your eyes when his hand reaches up to massage your breast, that was unoccupied by his mouth. You move and place your hand on top of his, he looks up at you, his eyes are glazed over with lust.

You tug at the collar of his shirt and without further questions he pulls the shirt over his head and discards it on the floor.

He resumes his position of his mouth on your other nipple this time and you shudder against him. He pulls off your tit with a pop and rolls your nipple between his thumb and finger, and you moan deep in your throat. Josh smiles sweetly at you before ducking back to continue his kisses downwards.

When his hand removes itself from your breast, you make sure to replace it with your own and cup your other tit as well. Kissing his way across your tummy and hips he watches you knead your own breasts and move your hips slowly against him. He groaned in his throat and adjusted his shorts.

“Take them off,” you tell him, breathless.

“You first,” he says, working at the button on your shorts. You arch your back so he can slide him off your legs. He follows suit and takes his shorts off as well.

Leaving your underwear on, he gets back to work, he kisses over your abdomen and hips, the scruff on his face tickling you a little. His lips trail along the tops of your thighs, and takes his knuckles across the waistband of your underwear.

“Can I touch you?” He asks, kissing your hip bone. You don’t need to point out that he’s already touching you. You know what he means. Always the giver, he was. You don’t answer, instead you shift and arch up so that you can slide your underwear off. You can see his dick growing in his underwear and you want to move to free it from his boxers.

You stare down at him as he kneels before your center sitting back on his heels and lifting both your legs up to rest against his shoulders.

You hold his gaze and he rubs his hands over your inner thighs and your eyelids flutter shut. He kisses both sides of your inner thighs. you can feel his eyes on you, unwavering.

He takes his time, licking you slowly. You can see a slight smile on his mouth as he watches you lean your head back against the couch and a moan breaks from your throat.

“You taste so sweet," he mumbles, kissing your clit and making you inhale sharply, "you're my sweet girl."

"Yeah," you gasp out even though he wasn’t asking for confirmation from you.

"Mhm," he hums, beginning to pick up the pace and really start devouring you.

You squeeze your eyes shut and clutch his hair, only making him groan more against your clit.

He begins to suck on your center and you buck into his face gasping aloud not expecting him to do that. His eyes find yours again and his cheeks are red and flushed with lust.

“Don’t stop,” you barely get the words out and your grip tightens in his hair. You can hear him gasp out and laugh against you.

“You’re so beautiful,” he says, kissing your inner thighs again and running a finger up your center causing you to shutter. You almost whimper at the lack of stimulation. Without looking away from your eyes he slips one finger inside you, followed quickly by another. “I missed you so much, I’m going to take my time with you, is that okay?”

You don’t trust yourself to speak so you only nod. You would allow him to do anything to you.

His fingers circle your entrance, teasing, you moan loudly when they slip all the way into you.

“Does that feel good,” he says, shifting so that he can press a quick kiss against your breasts and then your neck and then your mouth. He begins to move his fingers in and out of you at a pace, circling your clit with his thumb. You moan out his name, you can feel your body heighten and come alive with pleasure, taking you to your edge.

“Yeah,” you answer and grip his bicep so tightly that your knuckles are white.

“You feel so good around my fingers,” he says against your neck where he begins to suck and nip on the sensitive skin. “Are you gonna cum for me? Are you gonna cum on my fingers?”

“Yes," you reply in a hushed voice, furrowing your brow and bucking your hips up as he continues sliding his fingers in and out of you at a quick pace, "Don’t stop that feels so good!"

"Let it go, baby,” his free hand comes up to hold your chin in between his fingers while he rests his forehead against yours, looking deep into your eyes, "Let it go for me, baby."

His voice is deep and heavy of lust, his choice of words set you over the edge, making you cum with a quick shout. You pull him into a kiss while you climax, grinding your hips into his hand as you ride it out. You can feel his lips spread into a triumphant smile against your own.

He breaks away from your mouth and moves his fingers from your center. looking into your eyes he sucks your orgasm off of his fingers.

“So good,” he smiles, “do you want to taste yourself?” he was already bringing his mouth to yours, his tongue opened and entwined with yours. You moan against his mouth as you taste yourself. You wrap your arms around his neck pulling him flush against you. Chest to chest. the kisses were steady, rhythmic, neither of you in a rush. You wanted a few more moments to come down completely from your high, and you knew Josh isn't going to move ahead until you were ready.

Soon the pace picks up, and hands begin to wander. This time, your fingers reach down to trace the waistband of his briefs. He doesn’t stop you, just continues to kiss you. When he feels your fingertips touch his hard cock, he pulls away from your lips and looks down at you with hungry eyes.

You smile softly back at him, letting him know you were okay and pulling against the material of his underwear.

You could feel his hardening cock strain against the soft fabric, begging to be freed. He adjusts himself slightly above you so that he can free himself from his underwear. He kisses your nose gently and you laugh at the gesture. So sweet and so Josh.

He pulls your arms up so they hook around the back of his neck and attaches his lips to your neck, kissing and sucking and licking. Another groan comes from your chest, and you let him leave hickeys all over your skin.

Your center begins to throb with need, and you begin to trail the knuckle of your finger down his hard stomach before flattening your palm on his abdomen.

“Can I touch you?” you ask him this time. He groans against your neck and nods his head, curls brushing against your skin. You reach between your legs and gather a bit of your wetness on your fingers before wrapping your hand around his hard length.

He huffs quick breaths against your collarbone, pausing his kisses to close his eyes and let you jerk him off. He can't help his tiny whines and moans in your ear. Picking up his head, he kisses over your chin and up your cheek before pushing himself up on his hands to hover above you higher. Looking down between the two of you, his mouth drops ajar as you rub the head of his cock over your center, collecting your wetness.

"Fuck me," he groans, biting his lip and letting his hazy eyes look back down at you.

You can imagine your eyes match his, heavy and lustful. You spread your legs wider and wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him closer.

Slowly, you rub his dick up and down between your folds, nibbling on your lower lip. He takes your hand off of him shooting you a wink, he is ready to take the lead again. He places himself at your entrance and slowly sinks himself into you, both of you moaning and groaning with pleasure.

He comes down to hide his face in your neck again. You just place your hand on the back of his neck and squeeze your thighs around his torso, letting him take his time to get adjusted.

"You feel so fucking good," he gasps out pressing a kiss to you shoulder, "I’m going to move, okay?"

"Okay," you nod, closing your eyes when he pulls out an inch before slowly sliding back in. His hands move to find yours at his neck and laces his fingers with yours.

With his body moving with yours, you felt as if you were on fire. Sighs and gasps, and whimpers and moans of pleasure fill the room as he repeats his actions, taking it slow and deep. You call out his name when he pulls halfway out before slamming back in, moaning through his teeth when you clench tightly around him. You were building again and he knew it.

Your eyes roll back and you turn your head to the side, covering your mouth with the back of your hand which Josh immediately pulls away.

“I want to hear you, I want to hear you call out for me,” he says.

The room is filled with the sound of your satisfaction and his skin on yours. The noise of your wetness around him makes Josh groan and go a little harder, grinding his hips against yours slowly to hit that spot deep within you.

A cry rips from your throat and you dig your free hand into his shoulder. He does it again, pulling out and pushing back in making another groan rip from your chest.

"Yes, Josh, right there," you sigh, "don't stop, baby."

"You're so tight," he mutters, trying to keep his pace even, rolling his hips against yours, moving deeper inside you with each thrust. “It feels so fucking good,” he squeezes the hand that is laced with his. His brown eyes look down at you with so much more than just lust and he’s holding you so carefully, so purposefully trying not to hurt you.

You cry out when his tip grazes your cervix. He kisses you deeply bringing his hand down between your sweaty bodies to rub circles over your throbbing clit.

The stimulation brings you closer to the edge, a whine slips from your mouth. He was everywhere. on your skin, on your tongue, in your mind. everything was pushing you closer to the edge.

"I'm gonna cum," you breathe out against his lips while he keeps up his relentless thrusts, he groans in response.

With just one more thrust into you and you feel your orgasm rip through you a second time. A choked sob escapes your lips and you break away from his mouth and allow your head to fall back against the pillows. Your legs are shaking around him as his pace picks up, he’s so close, you can feel his cock twitch inside you.

“Cum for me,” you say, stroking his cheeks. His eyes meet yours.

“You’re so pretty under me,” he says, eyes meeting yours. His cheeks were bright pink, his hair was disheveled, and his eyes were heavy with lust.

“You’re so pretty on top of me,” you smile at him. His thrusts being uneven and you didn’t have to guess before he says, “fuck, I’m cumming, where should I-"

“Inside, I want to feel you inside,” you say, interrupting him before he could even get the sentence out. His hips falter, your words encouraging him to cum inside you, suddenly slamming all the way in you still while he lets out a deep groan, emptying himself into you.

Your chests rise and fall in unison and when he lowers himself on top of you, his dick still inside you, you unlace your hand from his and wrap your arms around him. Your hands come up to play with his hair, and he runs his nose up and down the side of your neck, whispering praises into your skin. Then, once you have both recovered, he pulls out of you and lays down next to you, pulling you into his side and kissing your bare shoulder.

“This was the best surprise ever,” he says with a dazzling grin on his face. “Ready for round two?” You giggle and wrap your arms around him, how could you deny him after that.

[cursedvibes]

I went on @epickiya722 blog and ranted all about how I think that the womanizer characterisation of Gojo by the fandom does not make sense. The points I gave to why this man can not even be in one relationship were:

Trust issues. Gojo does not trust a lot of people due to being the target of assassination attempt since his birth.

Self isolation. He does not feel like others truly understand him or can relate to him. So, he does not truly give himself the opportunity to be close to anyone.

I could go in more detail but I already saturated, the previous blogger ask and I do not want to trigger a hypefixation that will make me write a 2000 words essay on " Gojo got no hoes: this man has a negative rizz".

Also, I'm new to the fandom, so my interpretation could be lacking a lot of elements from the manga.

What do you think? (This is a bait for you to write a loooooooooooooooooooong answer)

I forgot to add. I don't think that most Jujutsu Sorcerers are in the mental headspace to be in a relationship with all the things they have to deal with. Maybe if it is for politics, as in getting married to someone because of their abilities and how it can be beneficial for your clan.

Well, I wouldn't really say I'm an expert on Gojo, but he's definitely not a womanizer. The only reason this is even such a popular perception of his character is because of some misinterpretation of a comment Gege made before Hidden Inventory started, where they said Gojo wears sunglasses when meeting girls/a girl (Riko). And I guess fans assume because they think Gojo is hot, he must be swimming in pussy. In canon, most people seemed to be turned off by his personality and status though. Yuuta (guy who still runs around with the replica of the girl who made a pinky swear with him in elementary school) even teases him about how ridiculous him having a significant other is. Gege said that at least when they were teenagers, Geto was the more popular one. Can't say I understand that because the guy seemed like an absolute bore and always looked down on the people he considers weak just like Gojo. Gojo was being straight-forward about it and not pretending he's a nicer person than he actually is, which I can respect much more than Geto's slimy attitude.

I agree that a big problem for Gojo is the self-isolation he puts on himself that comes with being considered The Strongest. People might be intimidated, but fundamentally there is nothing keeping him from forming close relationships with others once he knows them better. He sees himself as entirely removed from others and not even having/being the same existence.

He is the one who put himself up there and who thinks that only someone on a similar pedestal like Sukuna or previously Geto could understand him because he considers them separate from other humans and closer to himself. The label "The Strongest" is a necessity for him to think he could ever form a truly equal relationship with someone. That way he is very similar to Kashimo and Yorozu, also people who tried to teach Sukuna about love and desperately tried to relate to him because they thought he was the only person who could understand them (he doesn't and he isn't) and that way they only managed to close themselves off to people who could've actually helped them.

Vulnerability also plays into it to an extent because it's no coincidence that Gojo has his Limitless on almost constantly. The thing is, to form a real personal bond with others and have a close relationship with them, he needs to make himself vulnerable and also step down from the pedestal he put himself on to meet them at eye-level. You see that very well with how Takaba and Kenjaku's fight ended. Kenjaku also used to separate themselves from others for safety reasons, suspicion and just general habit. They craved friendship, but had trouble forming the truly equal relationship friendship requires for them. In the end, Kenjaku allowed themselves to fully engage with and get involved with Takaba and that vulnerability led to their death, but it also made them happy and as they said, was one of the best moments in their long life because it fulfilled the base wish/desire that was behind all the wild experiments and merging of people and curses and whatnot.

You could say Gojo is similar and had a similar death in that he was made vulnerable, but it wasn't so much that he stepped down from his pedestal to connect with the people who were already trying to reach him and cared about him, instead he made himself vulnerable by antagonizing someone who also stands on a different pedestal. He doesn't lower his guard, he seeks out someone who could overcome it by force. Unfortunately, that person doesn't actually care about him. If he had tried to connect more with the people already next to him, he might've been happier or more emotionally fulfilled, even if that means he would have to give up his strength or lower his defence. Instead of making children into weapons in hopes of some of them also climbing on that pedestal, he could've left his. There is pressure for him to be in that high position, no question, but he is the one who separates his existence and status as a living being from others. He would've needed to unlearn that thinking first.

All in all, the last thing you said in the second ask is most important. Sorcerers, especially the ones at Jujutsu Tech, generally just don't have romantic relationships or close relationships in general. Not the type the "womanizer Gojo" people are thinking about at least. Gege avoids talking about couples, but the only sorcerers who might be in a relationship are Kirara and Hakari and they aren't part of Jujutsu Tech anymore. Yaga is divorced and we don't know anything about the others except that most of them are very lonely and depressed. Some sorcerers, particularly those in the big clans, are married, but they don't seem that happy. Maki's parents don't look like they love each other or have any joy in their life really. So if we go by canon, no sorcerer is in a committed and/or loving relationship as far as we know (like I said even Hakari & Kirara are up in the air), which makes sense because most of them will soon die anyway. Maybe some of them have sex on the side, but probably more as coping mechanism. With how hung-up Gojo is on Geto aka the closest relationship he had in his life, I don't see Gojo being one of them. Not saying he's crying into his pillow 24/7, but getting close enough for sex with others seems difficult. Plus, ideally the other person also has to like him enough to agree to do it with him and finding someone like that isn't easy either.

tldr: I agree "Gojo got no hoes: this man has negative rizz"

[lackablazeical]

💣💥Mikey Hamato💥💣

Specific trigger warnings -

Underage drinking/usage of drugs, murder, violence, usage of queer slurs (both in reclaiming and hurtful ways), slut-shaming, victim blaming, animal abuse, overdosing, gaslighting, manipulation, addiction

Specific boundaries w/ this character -

Do not give him a label for his sexuality or gender. Mikey is an unlabeled character, and should stay that way.

General info -

Mikey's birthday is December 7th. He is a Sagittarius ♐️

Mikey's love language changes the closer he is with someone. It goes Acts of Service➡️ Gifts➡️ Words of Affirmation.

Mikey is unlabeled.

Mikey has BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder).

Mikey has ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder).

Personality traits -

Mikey is brash, rude, impatient, ambitious, creative, violent, snarky, egotistical, aggressive, erratic, jealous, self-centered, and hypocritical.

Mikey is the definition of a troll. He likes saying hurtful and offensive things to get attention from people, or hurt others. He actually rarely morally agrees with what he says, though.

Mikey is quick to violence, and would absolutely rather throw a punch then waste his time getting annoyed by someone.

Mikey tends to throw his weight around a lot, as he knows he is able to win any fight he gets into. Physical intimidation is his favorite past time.

Mikey only shows a nicer side of himself with his family and, rarely, Kenichi. He's more playful, and loves giving his brothers shit and teasing them.

Mikey is an extremely jealous person, and will absolutely maim anyone who dare even look at His People. He likes being the center of his loved one's attention.

Mikey is a hypocrite, as almost any opinion, moral standing, or action he takes, is often contradictory. As example, he is a compulsive liar, but also hates liars.

Mikey loves art and drawing, and has a very creative mind. He is a fast learner with it too, and can pick up on many different mediums and styles quickly.

Important details -

His Collar -

His collar was originally put on at 13.

Mikey's collar is made of a mystic metal that was provided and forged by Draxum.

The collar has magical properties, such as growing alongside Mikey. This prevents him from being choked by it as he grows. It also does not chafe his neck, even though it fits snuggly, so there is no scarring.

The collar has a mystic oath bound to it. This oath is bound to Big Mama. When this oath is activated, it makes Mikey unable to fight back, and he will be a puppet to listen to Big Mama. It is not activated often, as it burns up Mikey's ninpo.

Mikey is able to partially resist the control, but the best course of action is to knock him out until the oath fizzles out.

The collar cannot be taken off unless Draxum specifically removes it. It does not scratch, tarnish, dent, or rust.

His relationship with Big Mama -

He is a Mama's boy. He adores his mother, and spends a lot of time with her.

He listens to nearly everything BM says, and is often compared to an obedient puppy by his brothers.

Mikey may tend to get frustrated with BM occasionally, but he still loves her and will often forget about it quickly.

BM is the one who provides most of the drugs/alcohol Mikey consumes.

Mikey has free rein of BM's bank account, and loves spending her money.

Mikey is often 'in the know' about BM's darker business practices, as he's directly involved in them or interacts with the people involved in them.

His drug use -

Mikey has been using drugs/drinking since about 9 years of age.

He first began using hard drugs at the age of 13, as a 'celebration' of getting his collar and officially joining the Nexus.

He has an extremely high tolerance, and often needs to consume extreme amounts of any substance to feel a buzz.

Mikey's first drink was at BM's hotel bar, after being pressured by patrons there.

Mikey overdoses somewhat often. Because of Donnie's advanced tech, and Mikey's own ninpo, Mikey is always able to bounce back/revive.

All of Mikey's brothers dislike his excessive use of substances, but know they wouldn't be able to stop him. Leo attempts to, but it has never worked out.

When Mikey is fully drunk/high, he often tends to swing between extremely affectionate to extremely violent on a dime. He also will likely be more emotional, and is known to cry a lot.

His mystic powers -

Mikey has an extreme amount of mystic energy. The flame on his mask is mystic, and is a way to vent out excess energy so it doesn't build and become a ticking time bomb.

If his mask is not avaliable, typically an object near Mikey will combust within around 10-20 minutes of being near him.

Mikey can control the fire, including heat, brightness, and whether it spreads or not. If he is emotional, this control lessens, and the fire is at risk of burning someone or something.

Mikey's collar also doubles as a way to control and harness the mystic energy.

Mikey isn't exactly aware of his mystic powers. Well, he is, he just doesn't really care, and hasn't attempted to learn more about them.

His relationship with Kenichi -

Mikey and Kenichi are close friends.

They originally bonded over their mutual hatred of Usagi and Leo being together.

Mikey likes that Kenichi is honest, and is one of the few people who are willing to stand up to him and tell him like it is.

The two often play-fight. Mikey goes easy on Kenichi, but Kenichi is still always proud of himself if he manages to get a good hit in.

Mikey helps Kenichi in the kitchen, if the heat from the stove/oven starts to make Kenichi anxious. Kenichi is very thankful for this.

The two often argue about their views of Usagi. Kenichi dislikes Mikey's harassment, and Mikey excuses it as 'just a joke.'

Mikey is an asshole to Kenichi, but Kenichi is aware that that is just how Mikey acts, and doesn't take his words personally.

Mikey calls Kenichi 'leftie', 'breeder', 'fluff', 'fatass', and more.

His hatred of Usagi -

Mikey hates Usagi because he believes Usagi is manipulating Leo and stealing all his time and attention.

Mikey slut-shames Usagi constantly. This is mainly based in the stereotypes that rabbits constantly breed, and Mikey figured out that it bothered Usagi.

Mikey would kill Usagi without hesitation if Leo gave the word.

Mikey bullies and harassed Usagi constantly. This often comes in the form of drawing provocative, crude, and offensive art of Usagi for Usagi to find. He'll also scream at, berate, and attempt to harm Usagi. Leo doesn't let Mikey harm Usagi, but that doesn't stop Mikey from trying.

Mikey refuses to touch Usagi, citing the reason that he 'doesn't want to catch a disease.'

His fame -

Mikey is considered famous in the Hidden City, and within the modern yokai world. He's mostly akin to an athlete/actor/influencer.

Mikey doesn't like taking photos or giving out his signature, and will only do so if forced by Big Mama, or if he's drunk enough. Any other time, he may shove the fan away, or break the camera/writing utensil being used.

Mikey posts often on yokai social media's, but is still extremely private about where he is located or who he is with.

Mikey has extremely vocal haters, as well as extremely vocal fans. He enjoys sending his fans on witch-hunts or harassing people who don't like him.

Mikey doesn't do sponsorships unless forced to by Big Mama. Even then, he doesn't ever care about what he is endorsing.

Mikey hates things like edits/fanfictions/art/threads being made on him, but thinks they're funny to laugh at and insult. He will absolutely call any content made for him shitty.

His role in the Battle Nexus -

Mikey mostly preforms as a rodeo clown/jester of sorts in fights. He entertains the crowd, through jokes and skits. He rarely gets involved in actual fights, unless it's to anger either competitor or get them fighting eachother.

Mikey may also actually fight, when needing to defend his role as champion. These fights are huge for publicity, and are City-wide events.

He's also often involved in interviews and PR about the Battle Nexus. He doesn't enjoy this, but BM forces him to do it.

He is not involved in off-shoots of the Battle Nexus, such as the Street Brawl.

Mikey may also do acrobatic half-time or opening shows, which act somewhat like a circus. He does stunts, tricks, and more in this time.

Fun facts -

Mikey's favorite food is Korean hot pot, and his favorite drink is either apple bourbon or any type of juice.

Mikey hates liars, but is known to lie often himself.

Mikey hates being late to things he cares about, and is always punctual to his Nexus battles. If he's late to something, you know he doesn't want to go.

Mikey prefers traditional art, and his favorite medium is marker/ink.

Mikey loves wearing clothes, but refuses to wear shirts or shoes.

Mikey is extremely good at crying on cue, and uses this to manipulate Splinter and BM to get what he wants. Mikey's siblings have learned when he is fake crying, so they don't take him seriously.

Mikey has a habit of rubbing/wiping at his nose with his hand. He's used to his nose running/bleeding because of cocaine use, and it became a stim of his.

Mikey's right molars and premolars are golden. His original teeth got pulled out after a dare-gone-wrong, and Donnie replaced them with gold-coated lead.

Voice claim - [XXXTENTACION]

Tags that include Mikey -

#addams! Mikey, Addams! Michi, Addams! Hamatos

[weywookitswestwood]

HEYYO I FINISHED MY VIV CHARACTER ANALYSIS/BIO/HCS!! +18

(UPDATE: I added a few more hcs cuz I forgot to add them. I might remember more so expect the list to get a little longer)

Just putting a few content warnings out there before you go on scrollin’, there are some nsfw hcs down below so if you’re under 18, you’re in the wrong place. Also there is some mentions of family em*tional *buse and trauma so please skip if you don’t wanna read. Anyways, please enjoy~

Full name: Viviano Westwood (wasn’t born with a middle name)

Nicknames: Westwood, V, Viv, Vivi(don’t ever call him this, he’ll get mad), Vivikins(Or this), Big Guy/Fella/Lug, Vivano, Vibiano, Fabiano, Steve, Eastwood, Winwood, Jarhead(on second thought, only refer to him as either Westwood, V, or Viv)

Stand: Planet Waves (DISC)

Birthday: July 31st, 1983

Zodiac: Boar

Age: 28

Height: 6’1 (186 cm)

Nationality: American (Mostly of English and a bit of Italian descent)

Occupation: G. D. St. Prison guard

Personality: Large and in charge… sort of. Values brawn over brains. Not meaning he’s stupid, he’s just a simple man. Lacks in direction, both figuratively and literally. Because of his physical strength and his simple nature, he gets treated like an ox, whether it be from his parents or his job. Due to his upbringing, he has difficulty opening up or being sentimental. Instead, he copes through anger such as punching walls or snapping at people. He sees crying or being vulnerable as signs of weakness, another result from his upbringing. Likes to antagonize weak targets or criminals to make himself feel better. He claims he turned to the justice system because he wanted to keep evil people locked up for good from the public. That could be true, BUT others around him know there’s more to it than the reason he gives. Behind this mask, he’s an insecure and lonely man. Doesn’t have a spouse or kids or pets. He can be sociable, but doesn’t have any close friends. His love life is zero to none. He relishes in the heat of the moment, but once the discussion of marriage or starting a family is brought up, he’s out the door. Despite his flaws, he’s strong, resilient and yearns for excitement in his life. Perhaps being with the right people, he can find himself underneath that cold exterior and be a nicer, happier guy.

Favorite musician: Earth, Wind, & Fire, The Marshall Tucker Band(he’s a closeted country fan), and not a fan of the singer but he likes Fantasy by Mariah Carey

Favorite book: Playboy magazine

Favorite food: Anything SPICY

Background: Viviano was born in 1983 in Texas to a military veteran father and a hairdresser mother. From the time he was in diapers to 12 years of age, he lived a strict military lifestyle. No, his father wasn’t physical towards Viviano, but their relationship was better described as a “drill sergeant and cadet” dynamic than a “father and son” one. Basically this meant raising Viv how to be a “man” like teaching him how to use a gun at 4 years old and berating him if he began to cry. If there was one thing Viviano feared the most… it was his father. He had a close relationship to his mother, even being labeled a “momma’s boy” by his dad.

By 12, his parents divorced and he chose to go with his mother to Florida, not before his father called him a “disappointment”. For seven years, Viviano lived with his mom in Port Orange, Florida, being enrolled in junior high. While not as bad as his father and at times would be overly affectionate, his mom did boss him around. He was a growing boy after all, he was able to reach and physically do things that she couldn’t. At school, teachers looked down at him as a strong, yet intellectually incompetent boy, who could care less about his grades. Not only that, he needed to boss someone like how his parents bossed him, so he made a name for himself as a bully. He would continue to pick on classmates all through high school until his grades were so abysmal he had to be held back in his senior year and didn’t graduate until the year 2002 when he was about 19. Both of his parents were ashamed of this news.

After graduating high school, he tried to join the military but after three months of boot camp, he left. His father called him a “lost cause”. It was the most humiliating moment of his life. He got a job at a Miami customs house and was there for years until he was let go. He wouldn’t tell anyone why but supposedly it was due to his temper. At 25, he got a job as a prison guard at the Green Dolphin State Prison.

Random headcanons: (Warning: some are sfw/nsfw)

SFW:

-Has a bit of a gambling addiction

-Only child

-Not the best driver, gets worked up if he misses his turn

-Mf doesn’t wear socks (I know I bring this up constantly as a joke but this is canon)

-His mom cuts his hair

-Overheats easily, he’s always warm to the touch not even an ice bath will cool him down

-Big sports fan, especially football and baseball, his favorite teams are the Dallas Cowboys and the Miami Marlins, respectively

-Has a really bad habit of cracking his knuckles

-Has naturally long eyelashes

-Doesn’t really have any talents besides bench pressing and being strong

-He can be self conscious about trivial things like being insecure about the size of his hands (he’s afraid of having small hands)

-Accidentally punched his grandma in the chest after tickling him too hard (she was okay just had to go to the hospital for a small fracture in her ribcage)

-Misses living in Texas

-He had a bit of a Texan accent growing up, it’s mostly gone but it’ll randomly come up when his voice cracks

-Sucks at flirting

-Doesn’t have a filter

NSFW:

-Not a virgin

-If you ask him who he’s into, he would say women but secretly, he’s a bit curious if ya catch my drift

-Doesn’t really have a type as long as the woman is of age, consenting, and isn’t a bitchy hag

-Likes being the dominant one when it comes to… ahem, the bed

-He likes to make anything into a “battle”; sex, play wrestling, tickle fights, etc. he���ll do whatever it takes to make his partner submit (psst hey you, yeah you, there’s a way to beat him, he’s super ticklish on his belly, ribs, and feet, get him in one of his death spots, he’ll be sobbing for mercy)

-Frequently gets hard ons, even in the most inconvenient of times (at work)

-Likes to be on top, but is nice enough to be a service top too

-Loves a partner who’s either a switch or just as domineering as he is

-One of his kinks is bondage, loves the idea of cuffing up his partner and letting his hands roam all over their body

-Can see him being a foot guy (dunno why, just cuz I guess); prefers to give than to receive because he’s ticklish but will be okay receiving it if his partner really wants to; but he loves foot jobs

-His favorite thing (I’m sorry everyone)… is CBT; any chance his partner is grabbing or crushing him down there, he’s on cloud nine (this part was honestly painful to write)

-Loves oral, receiving that is (but he likes to give as well)

[your-local-uwu-artist]

mysterion design >:D

notes under the cut

-i'm imagining for this au everyone's middle school aged, so still like, kids, just a bit older

-ignore the fact that i fucked up the colors on all the text i SHOULD have had the colors shift between lines it helps legibility but i didn't fsr??? i'll figure that out in later art dw

-GOD THESE COLORS TOOK FOREVER the og colors are SUPER desaturated and also more on the pink side of purple but I prefer to use saturated colors and wanted to go more towards the blue side of purple (than the colors are closer to complimentary colors between mysterion and kenny)

-ended up going with a very soft look (rounded edges and ovals and softer lines) i was thinkng off of the batman inspo actually and thinking about that scene in the lego batman movie where the brick notes batmans design isn't very hero looking, i mean it is by western standards but like when i think of a good hero and symbol of justice and hope i think of twintaild magical girls with ultra frilly skirts and cute mascots and sparkles and stars everywhere but like.. i'm biased.... anyway I chose the softer lines to make him feel softer and instead relied any edgy vibes on the colors and body language rather than the shapes (i mean i still used triangles but yeah)

-I ended up not going with brown boots cause i didn't want to have to tie in another color, and i had the epic idea of the little question mark symbols on the soles of the shoes and the m logo on the ... toungue i think it's called?

-so I originally wasn't gonna show his hair but I thought it would help to balance the colors more as the white shorts felt too bright

-i didn't plan to post this or else i would've tried to better phrase all the writing lmao

-i went with rounded feet to make him feel like, floaty?

-one smaller challenge was keeping a short stature for kenny while still making him look like, menancing and powerful, another reason why i went with the graceful floaty feet, I also had the shorts flair out with that triangle shape like they do to emphasize and blend together the general shape of the body

-miiight have accidentally made him more androgynous~ my ass spent years studying and learning how to make characters appear masculine than said 'yeah no thankyou everyone is going to be at least a LITTLE bit pretty <3'

-ah look how nice and not over crowded the doodles are... yeah say goodbye to empty space cause Cartman/theCoon's completely lacks it. I like drawing fluffy animal ears and found the need to label all the drawings "furry" or "menance" so yeah

-i'm that one bitch that says fuck canon even canon doesn't give a shit bout canon so why should i? and never draws kenny with blue eyes, always either light brown or preferrable purple. mostly cause i feel blue + blonde is too basic and I find that the purple makes for a nicer contrast and overall pallete. Cause brown kinda just blends in, cause then his entire color scheme is all within the same hue range, but purple sticks out better + leaning into the magenta side of it looks great with orange

-petition for the southpark fan wiki to acknowledge how fuckign similar Mysterion and the mysterious mare do well are

-funfacts!! considered having the buckles be silver instead of gold (changed to balance with the blonde hair and tie back in the orange/yellow hues) considered having the inside of the cape be a lighter shade of purple either pulling in more pink or blue tinted shades, changed cause it made the overall color scheme to bright

-in case you were wondering 90% of my art has the same stupid level of thought put into it as posts i do add notes onto, I just figured most people don't want a ramble about shape launguage and colors on their silly blorbo fanart posts lmao. but if you find any of this interesting or heck if you ever have a ramble about your own art my inbox is always open~ i love getting to discuss drawing :D

[lets-try-some-writing]

🐢 anon is back!! ratchet/team or ratchet/cons dynamics?

thank you :]

Great to see you again anon! Ratchet and Con dynamics coming right up! (I also did a little sketch for this, hope you like it!)

Ratchet on the Nemesis

Ratchet hates just about everyone on the nemesis, but he hates some far more than others.

Megatron

Ratchet has and will continue to attempt to kill Megatron at every given opportunity. He can't be obvious about it, and more often than not his attempts just inconvenience the Warlord, but by Primus does Ratchet try.

Oil on the floor outside Megatron's quarters? How unfortunate for him, he should really watch his step. Welds too loose and open to rust infection? Well maybe Megatron just needs to stop being a pansy and grow up a little or get some better medical equipment. Poison in the Warlord's energon? Megatron should get better security, Starscream might be trying something after all.

Everything that Ratchet can get away with he will attempt. Even if it just means taking his sweet time on whatever Megatron is forcing him to do or purposefully botching up a project, Ratchet will do whatever he can to bother Megatron. In fact, he is nearly as bad a Starscream because while he knows his life hangs on a thread, he also knows his knowledge is too valuable to lose. As such he throws his weight around whenever he can.

So far he has caused Megatron the most grief by changing all of his passwords using what he learned from Optimus while he was still a data clerk. Soundwave eventually recovered all of them, but for a while Megatron couldn't access anything, including his books. Ratchet smiled evilly into his energon that day and did nothing to assist in the effort to fix the problem.

He is petty as Pit, and frag it all he is proud of it.

Knockout

Ratchet is neither particularly fond of Knockout or all that angry with him. The Decepticon medic has done nothing that Ratchet feels the need to hang over his helm, at least compared to every other participant in the war. However that does not mean he gives Knockout and easy time.

When possible, Ratchet does petty scrap just to be irritating. Changing the labels on Knockout's paint canisters and hiding his favorite buffer is one of his favorite ways to screw with the Decepticon medic. Other times he will add a little sour mixture into Knockout's energon when he isn't looking just to watch the red mech gag.

Despite being stuck on the nemesis and surrounded by the enemy, Ratchet feels more liberated than ever before. This is mainly because he can mess with everyone around him and get back at others in petty ways without seriously harming anyone he cares about.

But Ratchet doesn't go out of his way to torture Knockout, he can see that the mech is hurting and not all that fond of being a Decepticon. And so every now and then, mainly when he is feeling less grouchy, Ratchet will do nicer things for Knockout. Bringing him fresh rags, cleaning up the medical bay, and leaving a cube of energon on Knockout's workstation are Ratchet's small ways of being nice.

Breakdown

Ratchet isn't all that sure how to treat Breakdown. The mech is far too nice for his own good and reminds Ratchet a lot of Bulkhead. As such the Autobot medic often can't bring himself to go out of his way to be bothersome.

He tends to avoid Breakdown most of the time, but on occasion he will to petty but ultimately harmless things to the mech just because he can. Stuff like putting a sign on his back reading "kick me" or slapping an obnoxious sticker onto Breakdown somewhere he won't immediately notice are Ratchet's go-to methods of spicing up the mech's day. When Breakdown eventually notices what Ratchet has done to him, he usually isn't even upset and finds it funny. He has even kept several of the stickers Ratchet has put on him because he thinks they are neat.

Ratchet is rather unsure how to handle this behavior but has found no real reason to stop being a nuisance and so continues with his behavior unless Breakdown is not in the mood. On days where Breakdown is off, Ratchet notices and does his best to make the mech's day a little bit better. Ratchet may not like Decepticons, but he will not leave a hurting mech to suffer. And so Ratchet will do little things for him, like making energon goodies discreetly and putting colorful stickers over Breakdown's uglier scars to make him happy.

Breakdown appreciates it, but knows Ratchet's disposition well enough to keep his praise to himself.

Starscream

Frag. Starscream. Ratchet hates the flier with a seething passion, almost to the degree which he hates Megatron. His hatred stems partially from Starscream's ridiculous ego and partially from the many crimes he has committed against the Autobots. Ratchet has not yet forgotten the loss of Cliffjumper, nor does he ever intend to.

Ratchet doesn't try to kill the seeker, but he does do everything in his power to make Starscream miserable. He will go out of his way to botch Starscream's paintjob, a task Knockout does not mind assisting in. Ratchet will leave stickers with insults plastered to Starscream's back when he can get away with it. And he also makes it his duty to make the seeker's visits to the medical bay as uncomfortable as possible since can't outright hurt him.

After one visit to the medical bay where Starscream was left covered in blue paint, with his arms in casts, and several painful welds he has since avoided the medical bay like the plague unless he really needs aid. Knockout has been a much happier mech since then, and while still not fond of Knockout, his healthier mental state is something Ratchet takes pride in.

Soundwave

Ratchet plays a dangerous game with the Decepticon spymaster. Both of them a fully aware of what Ratchet is doing around the nemesis, and Ratchet's regular attempts on Megatron's life have not gone unnoticed. This far Soundwave has tolerated Ratchet's actions towards the Decepticons as he has produced valuable research. However the Autobot medic knows that the moment he ceases being useful, the truce between him and Soundwave will end.

Both avoid one another and only ever interact by chance. If given the opportunity though, Ratchet will mess with Soundwave a little bit by putting sticky notes on his security cameras with stupid doodles on them. He may or may not also give Lazerbeak goodies every now and then just to spite Soundwave but if it happens neither acknowledge it.

Shockwave

Pits no. Ratchet stays the frag away from Shockwave as much as he can. Shockwave is a terrifying force and Ratchet doesn't want any part in it.

The few times he has been forced to work with Shockwave have been awful. They both hate each other and can't agree on anything when it comes to science. Not only that, but when he is around the scientist Ratchet can't shake the feeling that Shockwave would prefer to dissect him rather than work with him.

The only thing Ratchet can do to mess with Shockwave is screw around with his animal documentaries and delete them or change to subtitles on them to something outrageous. He might also attempt to move Shockwave's tools and hide them somewhere but usually he refrains as Ratchet is rather fond of living.

[mortuarywriting]

God one of these days I'm gonna finish writing anything for the sandbox I've been setting up! But I haven't so let's talk monsters

Price I'd love to see as a manticore or some kinda chimera. Something big, intimidating, incredibly poisonous. Keeps everything about it close to his chest, prefers to keep it a bit of a last resort because it generally means either stealth is out the window or they're not taking prisoners. Absolutely would snuggle with a partner in the monstrous form but that is a murder machine of a man. Hell of a purr he's got, though, feel that in your bones no matter which form he's in. Would ramble more but I need to pin down what he is before I can.

Simon is in that fun Limbo of you can play around and try to put labels on him any day of the week. None fit right. He's got so many facets and none of the labels are a 1:1. Makes it a lot easier on his end to make risky moves as nobody can figure out what the hell will actually kill him for realsies. He is smoke he is shadow he can and will just take a 15 minute break when he knows he can get away with it to go shadow walk his broody ass to wherever you are. Just to gently harass and check in on you if he knows your free time windows are lining up. Tries to keep the visits light, just some touchstones to make sure to everything in his being that you're still safe, you're still alright. He'll also fuck off to get you Somewhere Safe Right Now Immediately if he has a Bad Feeling at the drop of a hat. Price knows he can't stop Simon from doing this if he tried, but if it's for a Bad Feeling Price is usually getting the lads together asap when Ghost pops back in not three minutes later. He always explains when he's back in one piece why he yoinked you from the Grocery Store to an Undisclosed Location for an Indeterminate Period of Time but you're safe and that's the goal.

Gaz on paper is a seer. In actuality he's a few things playing well together that it's easier and nicer to put seer on paperwork 'cause he sees and can do a hell of a lot more than whatever paperwork implies. Like yes, he can do limited spellwork but what he sees? Fae, ghosts, connections between people, brief glimpses into the history of whatever he's focusing on in a pinch, probably the lotto if he tried really hard (again that is. He hasn't tried since he was a lot younger- it didn't go well to say the least). He likes looking at the connections he's formed with you when he has some down time, cords that always point him in the direction of you. He will use these to make sure the relationship is in healthier spots, he knows if things start unraveling. It can and will get irksome because he very much wants to help fix what's wrong even if you're not ready to talk about it yet, but he will respect boundaries once set. Doesn't mean he won't keep prodding the line now and again to try to get you to talk about it but he's usually pretty good about not being overt about it unless it's Dire.

Soap I have. Mixed feeling on. Mostly because he can be so interesting and can easily fit into many different slices of beastie! Vamp, werewolf, selkie... but for the sake of keeping it interesting and one i havent seen played with as much, for arguments sake let's say he's a very interesting kelpie. Like obviously man has so thoroughly detached himself from a specific body of water, but I feel like their main base statistically would have some kinda pond he usually is happy to just call dibs on. He sometimes shares but largely people just use a pool instead. Man definitely leans into the carnivore and likes his food a bit more on the raw side if possible. No he does not spook but he does have one hell of a kick. He will bite if he needs to and you really don't want him to need to. Views his horse form as just another tool but largely avoids it for work reasons- namely lack of thumbs or body armor. He will get twitchy around bridles, but otherwise so long as you're his squad or his partner he's fine with giving people a lift in a pinch! Promises he won't drag you into the water to drown you! He will drag you into the water though. That is very much a thing that will happen. He likes it when you spend time with him like this. He likes getting you nice and wet and especially when you ride him :))

[jessjustplay]

Review: Star Ocean First Departure R

1 Meh / 2 Okay / 3 Good / 4 Really Good / 5 AMAZING

Story 4/5

This is a sci-fi fantasy "save the planet" story with time travel and space travel. Earth is part of the story, but it's not the focus. Instead, we are trying to save another planet called Roak and along the way we meet so many different people from various locations.

Characters 6/5

The character are amazing and the dialogue between them is the best. There is a lot of silly chatter as well as more meaningful conversations that help you learn about each one.

Narrative 4/5

The story has a good pace. The characters tell you a lot about what's going on and all the info you need to know. There aren't any extra notes in the menu or any data logs telling you what has happened, so you definitely need to pay attention to the conversations!

Going out of towns and re-entering with "Private Action" selected is very important. A lot of extra details, and sometimes just silly scenes, are told in these interactions.

Gameplay/Controls 3/5

Moving around is very easy and feels good. On a PS4 controller, you can hold down the R2 button (PS4) to walk faster which is nice. A few things are missing that would have made this a 5. There needs to be a better world map - one that you can open and see full screen, and that is also labeled with location names.

There is a mini-map, but it's not labeled. Maps inside of each location would be nice, too! The dungeons are very maze-like so if you forget where you left off easily, you might get lost.

There also needs to be a *what to do next* notification somewhere. For example, "Go see Millie" or "Head back to Tropp". It's not exactly clear in the beginning what you are supposed to do or where you're supposed to go, so that would be very helpful.

Battle System 5/5

The game is full of random battles and they are all very fast-paced. You only control one character at a time, but you give instructions to the others (via the menu) of what you want them to do. For example, I always had Millie set to heal the team and I had Ronyx set to use all of his MP so that he would always cast magic.

Customization/Development 5/5

You earn EXP and Skill points from each battle. All of your 8 characters will earn Skill points regardless if they are in the active party, but only the 4 active party members will earn EXP, which they need to level up. While leveling up is straightforward, activating Skill points is essential and something you don't want to miss. Activating Skill Points increases attributes and skills (such as Cooking and Appraising) which come in handy. It's a very unique system and one that I neglected a bit during my first playthrough, but during this 2nd one I was better prepared.

Music 2/5

The music is, unfortunately, pretty weak. I remember really liking one town song and that was at Eckdart. The world map song is pretty catchy, but that's likely to hearing it so much that it gets stuck in your head. I wasn't a big fan of the boss fight music.

Graphics 5/5

Absolute perfection. The old AND updated art models of the characters are very nice. (The updated versions are, of course, a tad bit nicer because they are so vibrant!) I especially love how expressive the pixel art models are! You can tell when they're happy, sad, angry, confused, embarrassed... it's great! Even in-battle, they get these huge eyes when they are attacked. It's so funny!

Overall 34/40 Highly Recommend!

[touchmycoat]

ficbinding: Chinese stitched binding

BINDING COMPLETED! of my own fic 翻雲覆日回天明 / Best Of. I chose this binding method because 1) Chinese, 2) easy, and 3) cheap. You know how much this fucker costs??

Text block (A4, 17 sheets of Nice™ paper): 105 NTD

Cover papers (2 sheets): 20 NTD

Embroidery floss: 25 NTD

Awl: 45 NTD

Glue: 35 NTD

Total: 230 NTD, which is not even 8 US dollars. I mean alright, there were other miscellaneous items needed like a ruler, a needle, a slab of wood for puncturing, and something to hit the awl with, but for the slab of wood I just used an old Daiso wood trivet and for the “mallet” I grabbed a rock and wrapped it in old underwear. There is the optional step of cutting the edges of the book, which I did here, that adds additional cutting pad & xacto knife costs. Also material costs are very low in Taiwan lol. BUT STILL.

Anyways progress pics & things I would do better under the cut:

I think this was 150 or 200p on the right, SO much thicker and funner to touch than crappy printer paper lmfao. Makes the book feel nice and hefty. Folded easier too.

Opted for two-hole ties when first securing the text block. I think it worked—kept the stack more tightly held together throughout the rest of the assembly. I used paper string and then pounded them as flat as I could on both sides before gluing them down.

First Mistake: starting immediately with the title page. Next time I layout the text I’m gonna put one half sheet in front because the cover has to glue onto something. I sandwiched the text block with printer paper, which was another mistake—you can see how shitty it is on the left compared to the page on the right. Next time, I’ll either leave one extra page on the front and back or use nicer end papers.

Second Mistake: fam, ,,,trimming is so hard ,, ,Okay no I got the hang of it more or less the second and third time around (and you only trim three sides), but the first time? in the immortal words of Bob the Drag Queen, mama that was garbage. Look:

...yeah guess which one’s the ugly triplet ;; Anyways it’s VERY IMPORTANT YOU STAND UP BEFORE YOU CUT. That’s the lesson I learned today. Also, if using 6-ply embroidery thread, the awl puncture holes don’t really give you enough room to double up when stitching the book together! I tried but ended up going back to binding with a single thread because the needle just stopped going through the holes at one point.

But anyways binding this was a workout and it was so much fun. I might get real ink and redo the label ‘cause it just ain’t quite right. But this is for real habit-forming. I wanna do so many more fics now.

[sharpth1ng]

Bruh it’s so true what you said about nonbinary as a label cuz that would assume that there is a binary. There’s no binary when it comes to gender or sex. Literally fucking “man” and “woman” are nonbinary cuz there is no fucking binary to begin with. “Male” and “Female” aren’t binary sexes cuz intersex variations literally exist and not everyone is born XX or XY. There is no fucking binary, surly I’m not the only one that this makes sense to

YUP.

Before I get into this I want to say I’ve heard intersex people saying they don’t want to be brought up in this argument (I think because it can feel to them like they’re just a talking point, and their rights are often forgotten in conversations about trans rights- eg. the argument “no children are being forced to go on hormones” is true for endosex kids, but not for intersex kids (whether they’re trans or cis).

I don’t mention that to shut you down or anything, I only bring it up because I’m not intersex (as far as I know, I’ve never had my chromosomes tested) and I’m trying to be as inclusive as possible when making arguments that sex isn’t binary. My rights and needs are aligned with the rights and needs of intersex people but I also recognize that they have rights and needs that differ from mine and I want to support them and elevate their voices whenever possible.

I want to acknowledge that there are multiple definitions of what “intersex” means- some that define it merely as having different sets of chromosomes and others that define it more broadly as “ people born with atypical and stigmatised sex characteristics that do not meet stereotypical expectations for men or women.” I think that second definition is good and more inclusive but I also want to point out that it relies on the idea that there is a “norm”.

For example, most medical establishments don’t consider PCOS to be intersex, but many people with PCOS consider themselves intersex. The point I’m trying to make here is that all of this is based on the idea of a “norm” existing, and that means that someone (a biased human being) has to decide what that norm is.

So some of what I’m about to talk about may be considered intersex, and while I’m trying to avoid using that community as a talking point I also think it’s important to talk about the flawed way that science discusses sex and sex differentiation in general, and it’s difficult to do that while completely avoiding anything that might be considered intersex for someone, given the breadth of definitions the term has.

Some of the people with the traits described below may be considered intersex and some others would not. The reality is that biological sex differentiation doesn’t stop after birth, and our bodies can develop in a variety of ways that align our needs with the needs of the intersex community regardless of whether or not we were categorized that way at birth.

One example of this is that genitals exist on a spectrum- there is no either or, they start from the same tissue and what they end up looking like just depends on how much hormone exposure they had and what hormones they were exposed to. It’s not scientifically a binary. Like. It’s not. It’s a genital spectrum. So what determines the cut off of “atypical”? How does a doctor decide that someone is so “atypical” that they should be categorized as intersex when they are born? The answer is it’s arbitrary.

Beyond that, even the effect that hormones have on you depends heavily on what kinds of receptors you have, how efficient those receptors are, where they are, and how dense they are where they exist, and these effects may not be visible until long after birth during puberty.

This gives rise to the wide variety of ways that hormones can affect the body regardless of chromosomes or anything else- there are cis, endosex men with xy chromosomes who have less body hair than I had before I transitioned, and there are cis endosex women with more body hair and a nicer beard than any of the grown men I know.

For people that study sexual development it is notoriously hard to use biological features to categorize sex in a way that gives reliable medical information. And this is where I’m about to talk about some things that are under the intersex umbrella for sure, but which are also used by medical professionals and scientists when defining sex.

Most people don’t have their chromosomes tested, and even if you have the chromosomes expected for your AGAB it’s possible that another gene won’t express the protein needed to trigger gonad development.

Or you can have the expected chromosomes and all the other necessary genes being expressed and forming functional proteins, so your gonads match your chromosomes, but your gonads don’t produce hormones, or you don’t produce the receptors needed for your body to respond to those hormones, so your genitals and secondary sex characteristics (body hair, breasts, ect) don’t develop in the direction some people would expect based on your chromosomes.

Functionally I would say what matters medically is for all people, intersex or endosex: what body parts do you have, what organs do you have, and what hormones are you dominant with? And none of those questions are answered definitively by the question: are you male or female? Imo that question obscures a lot of important information and likely leads to a lot of medical mistreatment. But beyond that none of it is relevant to the social categories “Male” and “female”.

Like, what even is my “biological sex”? I don’t know what my chromosomes are, I haven’t been tested. I know I have ovaries, but my body is testosterone dominant and it has been for years. If I want effective medical care that’s the information my doctor needs, and “I’m biologically female” doesn’t tell them that.

Finally I just want to say that I’m extremely open to criticism from the intersex community. If you are intersex and you feel that this discussion uses you as a talking point or otherwise misrepresents you please let me know and I will happily change it or take it down.

You don’t even need to openly reply or message me if you don’t feel comfortable doing that, you can send me an anon ask to tell me the issues you have with it. I won’t publish the ask if you don’t want me to.

Realistically there are far more intersex people in the world than we know, because chromosomal testing doesn’t happen unless something seems “wrong” (in quotes because sometimes this just means that society considers it atypical regardless of whether it is harmful to the individuals health.). There are cis men walking around with ovaries and penises and testosterone dominant bodes that will never know, and that’s just one example.

[snickerdoodlles]

Feel free to just ignore this if you really dislike the phrase that much, and then I will just try to remember never to use that phrase for your stories again, but I wanted to let you know that I consider "crack taken seriously" to be one of the highest accolades to give an author. Because they took something that anyone else would have made into a one line gag and filled it with life; with joy and fear and insight and inspiration; brilliant worldbuilding and inspired character development.

I don't like most humor. It usually just comes off as mocking and mean to me. But crack taken seriously is when someone takes the bitter absurdity of those "funny" bits of our world and cracks it open to show that there is an entire story full of beauty and hope inside, not just the momentary embarrassment and frustration I expected.

And also, it's just really hard to do. Most people don't have the imagination to find an entire universe in a silly joke, much less the skill to write it. Douglas Adams is crack taken seriously. And Terry Pratchett, JRR Tolkin, William Gibson. Anyone who thought of something radically different than our reality, and then wrote it so well that we all saw our own lives reflected in it. In fact, it showed us ourselves reflected so clearly that it taught us things about ourselves we never thought to look at; changed us in ways that a story that pandered to our expectations of how the world works never could.

Done right, absurdity and silliness leaves the reader receptive to considering radical ideas they might have ignored in any other context. I find it an amazingly powerful literary device. Most cracky fanfic doesn't go that far, of course. But even when it's just used to give a different interpretation of a cannon scene, not political commentary, it hits me harder than more conventionally structured works trying to do the same thing. And I can't write it at all so I find it really technically impressive when someone pulls it off. The timing and pacing is really hard to do!

( crack taken seriously tends to be something that makes me giggle or go "WTF?" at first, but ends with me sitting in stunned silence, thinking "OH." I mean, there are variants, it's not like a rule, but that's kind of the core feeling I get from it.

It's an actual unique genre in my mind, not literally something silly treated as serious)

Oh friend it's okay, I don't actually need anyone to change up their tagging systems for me! And thank you for sharing your thoughts on the 'crack taken seriously' tag 🥰 I do objectively know most people mean it in a good way, it just also catches me off guard every time because the pieces of my writing that I think people label me as a 'crack' writer for aren't what I'd label as 'crack', so there's a disconnect for me (ie something like my necromancy AU I haven't written yet, where Chay can just raise the dead as he pleases and I use that to dig into Big's relationship with personhood, is crack taken seriously to me; stuff that just plays off silliness like an accidental pony-play or ridiculous friendship shenanigans i'd just tag as humor). plus, the definition for 'crack' is all over the place-- I always assume the nicer definitions for my own sake, but I'm not entirely sure sometimes.

so in a combination of my own writing insecurities and the definition mismatch, I feel very...odd? ig? about the label. it's very much a me thing, I know that, but sometimes the specific combination of tags left on my stuff feels more like "this person's a crack writer BUT--" and it kinda feels like I'm being put on the backfoot/dismissed, or that what I like to write is somehow 'less' and needs to be justified to be liked. this is still a me issue, but sometimes the disconnect hits strong and I just feel baffled for the day.

[myfictionaldreams]

hi! i’m that asshole anon :/

at the time i really was just very upset about the fics! theres so many people who don't care to grow and change, or dont care if it “glamourizes” that behavior. it was for sure a knee jerk reaction. i definitely should have chosen my words better and could've for sure been kinder. I do want to say that while the dynamics weren't good your writing is FANTASTIC!!! ive seen you on ao3 and your work is sincerely really good.

i'm sorry that my (rude) message made you feel bad, i think you are an amazing writer and I appreciate you coming back with a nicer response than I would've. I really do feel bad.

your smut is done really well, and i’m hiding behind the anon wall because at first it was just bc i have a *tiny* following. but now its because i’m so very ashamed at my behavior. i do agree that that was shitty and I don’t deserve any kindness or good will.

i can see that you’re a growing writer and I do understand how much those kind of comments can be. again you are a good writer. i think maybe reading those felt like such a shock and I should’ve handled it better, maybe come to you in private with respect and after cooling down. i only wrote that to you because I wasn’t seeing disclaimers for the ones that i was talking about (on ao3)

i sincerely apologize, I hope that I didn’t make you feel bad or discourage you in any way. I was far too harsh and I understand that we are all human and none of us are perfect. I wanted to explain my feelings, but not excuse my actions. i wish i had a time machine. and i appreciate you as a writer, and when the time comes I hope you can forgive me <3

Hi! firstly sorry for taking a few days to respond my personal life has been very hectic & also needed to think about what/how to say my response.

Right, firstly i really really appreciate you returning and apologising and understanding that way that you worded the message was wrong etc and it’s clear from this message you do feel bad and understand that it was wrong so I do want to thank you for that.

However, I really do want to emphasis how difficult these negative/hateful messages make writers feel. This message or any other hate messages I will always remember, particularly when its feedback for things that aren’t intentinal (such as the bdsm dynamic you referred too). Sometimes writing doesn’t always come across how I wanted to in my mind and doesnt mean that it is written with malicious intent. Furthermore, there are ALWAYS warnings on my writing that I do feel like people just half read and don’t fully take into account. Yes, I could have labelled it further to specify that the reader enjoyed to be punished therefore there was pre-agreed consent but as I said, it was one of my very first fanfics so had a lot to learn still.

Again, I really do appreciate your response because every time I reply to a hateful anon, they never come back and I feel like it wasn’t worth the response in the first place so I’m very happy that you’ve actually read my explanation etc and giving me another chance.

Just for future though, for you or ANYONE going to send a message, always do it with kindness and education in mind. It’s hard to see that you have mentioned that you have enjoyed my other work so you know my writing style and still felt that one fic was glamourising something so negative you felt the need to send me a hurtful and patronising message instead of taking a moment to think ‘oh i like the other fics, this one is a bit different maybe i should message just to clarify’ - instead of what was sent in the first place and just assuming that I’m willing to write abusive fics.

But anyway, all is forgiven because I really hate negativity, I hope you are also doing ok, I do believe you are sorry and regret sending the message so everything is absolutely fine, lessons are learnt on both end of this interaction. Sending peace and love ღღ

[i-dont-exis]

you’re all getting zane because he had the big first paragraph and no one gave any specificities!! also i’ll be putting a few ages at the start of paragraphs/by names {mostly for me to get a feel for time stuff since i hate character age garbage <3}

zane ro’meave, he/him, cis no romo/sexuality label, 36 at the end of season 1

he’s the youngest because i thought it was like that when i was watching as kid

the ro’meave children loved playing in the snow, zane was the best snowman decorator

when vylad {15} had come back after being pinned as dead a lot had happened. zane {12} can’t remember much of that day except that his mother was missing and that his father gave him a nasty scar along his right eye and impeded his vision

when zane {16} was in the practice grounds he saw long wavy auburn hair, and as soon as he rounded the pillar it was gone. zane would remember the small glimpse of the person he saw when he was an adult

his final test to prove to his father that he could rule o’khasis was to ‘deal’ with falcon claw. he did all as instructed, and felt no remorse when he heard screams of innocents from the fires as he rode away on his horse

he became a priest for two main reasons. 1. to get out of an arranged marriage, since priests couldn’t be married and 2. him and his spouse really didn’t like eachother

when he was at ‘priest training’ as him and his classmates called at, he found how easy it could be to use people to his advantage

he doesn’t like to be called ‘father zane’ and likes the more important sounding title that ‘high priest zane’ gives, as it also shows how high up he is on the ‘scale of religion’, again being his words

he doesn’t take worship seriously, and when he finds out there are reincarnations and that he is related to the reincarnations of esmund and kul’zak while not being one himself he feels furious.

im gonna go in paragraph-ish order now this is a lot more difficult to make nice than i thought it was gonna be lol, and this is it trying to be even ‘nicer’

also you might see my brain devolve throughout this, thats just me being tired since im writing all this late at night lol

so. kiki, emmalyn, and aphmau. what do they have in common that relates to zane? they show intense emotions iguessBUT! emmalyn is very standoffish as she had heard about him through her connections through her fellow scholars, kiki basically thinks of him as an animal that needs love and care, and aphmau knows that he is up to basically nothing good {he determines how he interacts with someone based on their reactions to his introductory teasing which is partially how him and janus got close}

he thinks kiki is the best option for the pendant experiment. the way it works here is that it needs a beings blood on it and it mixes all of the dna together and makes a child. zane didn’t know this when he was burning down the eastern wolf tribe and stomped on bodolf’s paw as he reached for it; eventually when janus reported back on his ‘child’ they noted the child had werewolf ears and a tail as zane understood what he did wrong immediately, although he had no way to correct this when he learned about it

{34} on the topic of child experiments {lol what a combo of words} alexis was another one. he read up on shadow knights and how if they were turned soon after they were born something would happen. since this something was undefined he had to find out for himself, so when he heard about the newborns in phoenix drop he had an idea

all priests have the symbol of irena somewhere on their body to show their dedication, zane chose the back of his neck so he wouldn’t see it all of the time

he sits as the obsidian father in the jury of nine, because everyone is under his ‘care’. he looks over all of the paperwork and looks over candidates, he is known amongst the jury to bump up those who is seem promising, such as iverline. he is also the speaker for the group and is stuck on a rotation of meeting hells for a lot of the time which impedes his traveling, so he uses the jury for whatever he needs

he also had to break them to a certain point to get them to work under him without making them resent him. janus was easy as the two are naturally close, jeoffery was about an intermediate difficulty and katelyn fought but fell into line soon after meeting jeo, lillian was more mental manipulation focused, kim and ken are indebted to zane, june was excelling in the most famous guard training camp in ru’aun and was ecstatic to join from the reputation of the jury, and ein was just basically stocked to be himself i guess

also, fun fact, continuing on the ‘getting people to do what he wants’ and stuff, he gets touchy/in personal space/flirty to throw them off guard and has never followed through with this. he is a priest after all, to think he would do such a thing is blasphemous!

he uses his connection to the patron irena and their friends above religious locals and people

when zianna tried to ‘save’ him {17} from garte, he dismissed her and reported to his father. he rarely saw her after this and was one of his last regrets before losing himself

jeoffery was instructed to talk with the phoenix drop kid at the academy, because young minds are easily malleable, he {zane, 34} thought it would be helpful to try and get him on the jury’s side. brian, who was called velius at the meetings and between jurors and told them to treat velius like the little brother of the group. he gave false promises to the kid, and the night he was going to leave for home zane called him in and handed velius a communication amulet between him and the jury; the kid was ecstatic and, eventually, when he let it slip he was sent to the royal o’khasian jail

once he was out of irena’s dwelling {irene dimension} he called back the jury, some came running back after missing him for so long and others, like iverline, were summoned since they were at the top of the waiting list

when aphmau finds out she is the direct reincarnation of irena she holds it above his head, and he despises it with his very being. it gets even worse when he finds out the group are more reincarnations, he is practically livid.

when it came to kiki he was very good at playing the pitiful-boy card, for emmalyn he played the demanding-overlord-with-a-soft-heart and would hang around the library, and with aphmau he would always stand a little too close and get too touchy with them as he would push him off

the baby shower present he gave alexis, a maroon teardrop necklace, he knew it had something to do with shadow knights from janus and lillian, his eyes and ears of information. the only similarities between the reports were shadow knight energy, netherrack, youth, and proximity to obsidian. when he saw that alexis had turned into a fully-grown shadow knight he thought she would be under his control and mentally developed, as he was about to hit her for not listening to him and being sluggish aphmau got him in his bad eye and started cussing in olden tongue {more on that in another post} and alexis snapped out of it as he stumbled backward; least to say he was not pleased and marked her on his list. after this molly came down and helped with the situation as best she could

okay nighty night i have school in like 6 hours lol

[enhas-bestie]

Hii so sorry for bothering you but, I love writing I’ve been doing it for a long time. I’d like to post on tumblr but I’m kinda new to it and don’t really know how to use it (gifs, text colors,…) so if it’s okay for you could you maybe teach me how to use it or give me some tips?

Hi!!

Don't worry, it's really no bother at all💖 And while I don't think I'm the best or most experienced person to ask, I'll try to help to the best of my abilities :))

One: Banners

So, firstly, when you have everything laid out for your fic and you know your basic plot, you'll want to make a banner. It doesn't have to be fancy or anything but I feel like the nicer it looks, the more people would be attracted to read your fic. To make the banners you can use either Canva or VistaCreate. Just type it into Google and it will take you to the respective websites.

Two: The masterlist.

After you have your banner, you're gonna want to create a masterlist.

It's basically gonna keep everything organized and help people find the chapter list for the rest of your fic. You'll also include a basic summary of what your fic is about, add any warnings you want readers to know about and maybe even add your update times etc. Here's an example of one of my masterlists (idol crush! Masterlist). As you can see, it has the banner I've created (note that you really don't have to put the summary on the banner like I did) and I've also chosen to stick with a blue colour scheme.

At the bottom are my taglists which include the ppl who asked to be added. Overall, it just keeps things really organized for both you and readers.

Three: links, fonts, colour

Links

Okay, so in the masterlist you can see I've added a list of all my chapters and ppl can basically click on it and they'll be sent to whatever chapter number they've chosen. So, the way you're gonna do that is to add hyperlinks to you chapter.

An Example:

chapter one: yn?? as in THE yn??

Basically, you'll just type out a similar text as shown above in your masterlist (how you choose to label your fic chapters is completely up to you).

here, there is no hyperlink. It's just text - so if you click on it, nothing will happen. What you want to do is actually get the link to chapter one and add it to the text. You'll do it like this:

i.e) you'll type out your a text.

go to the to the actual post you're referring to.

click those 3 dots and copy the link.

go back to the original post where your text is (in this case it's your masterlist) and select the text you've written (in this case "chapter one: yn...") then click that link icon that I've circled and click paste.

You'll know you're successful if your text looks like this: chapter one: yn?? as in THE yn??

2. Fonts and colour.

Personally when I'm doing a fic, I'll pick one central colour that I'll use for everything. In idol crush!, you'll see it's blue. For the colour options, you'll see that when you select a portion of your text, a few colours will pop up like this:

To change your text to a colour, you select you text and then this bar of colours will pop up. Pick your desired colour and your selected text should change to whatever colour you picked.

I'm sure you can see that you're limited to 7 colours because those are the only options that tumblr gives. But you can go onto the internet and type in something like "font colour generator" and it'll lead you to a few websites that will allow you to customize whatever text you want, into whatever colour you want. Then you copy that, come back onto tumblr and paste it in your post!

The only troublesome thing is that you need to add some coding stuff to make it work and I honestly haven't figured out how to do it yet, so I'm just sticking to the default colours that tumblr offers for now💀 there are other authors on here who know how to do it tho! So try and ask them and I'm sure they'd help :)

Now for your fonts.

You're also given some options by tumblr. If you look up at the picture you'll see "Aa". Click on it and it will basically give you some options. "B" is for bold and then "I" is for italics.

The way to use it is also to select a portion of the text you want - then that bar will pop up and you'll click on "B", for example, if you want that text to become bolded.

Alternatively, you can also go onto the internet and search "fonts generator" and it will lead you to a website that allows you to type your text in a fancier font.

Luckily, you can simply copy it from the website and paste it into your tumblr post and it will work. It doesn't require and wierd coding stuff (?) so it's fairly simple and easy.

Some tips I'll give you:

Don't overload your posts with different colours and fonts. Sometimes it just ends up looking messy if you're trying to use too much elements at once.

Stick with one or two central colours and then one/two fonts. Also, try to not use bright colours excessively in a post because some people will shy away from reading it because the colour strains or annoys their eyes. So I highly suggest you keep the body of your fics black.

Also, make the title of your post bigger than the rest of your fic and bold it - just so it stands out more (don't make it too big though). I also suggest leaving your actual story in the plain, default black font + make sure that the spacing between your paragraphs are equal and small. It just looks neater to read.

At the end (or beginning) of every chapter, also add a link to your masterlist, the next chapter and the previous chapter. If readers see that your fic is "easy" to read (ie. they don't have to go hunting for every chapter through your blog) then it'll likely interest them in keeping up with your story.

Example: I leave something like this at the end of every fic: a link to my masterlist and a quick synopsis.

Lastly, tumblrs algorithm.

It's terrible.

Honestly really, really, terrible and if your post doesn't get attention within 2-3 days, it will get lost in the tags. I'm not saying this to discourage you, but don't beat yourself up too much if your first few posts don't blow up. There's a chance it probably just got buried in the tags and most people only pay attention to the fics at the top of the list.

That's why I want to encourage you to use the tagging system to your advantage. If you're writing a jungwon fic, use literally all of his tags : enhypen x reader, yang jungwon, Jungwon fluff, Jungwon angst etc. That way your fic will be under many tags and hopefully many more readers will see it!

The shitty algorithm is why you'll always see writers encouraging readers who've enjoyed their fics to reblog. It's the only way fics get to stay on top of the list or circulate around the platform.

I don't wanna carry on for too long bc this post is already long as it is, but I hope this has helped! And I genuinely don't mind if you have any more questions to send in. This was a very general overview, so if you want to send in some specific questions then I don't mind and I'll try to help as best as I can :)

[anonezumi]

I think to boil it down the two sides of queer discourse tend to be

"identity is a set of rules you apply to yourself"

vs

"queerness is a rejection of identity-based rules in general"

side A says "you can't be bi if you're a lesbian" because they have conflicting definitions. side B says those words have different meanings to everyone, they shouldn't be considered restrictive

it is a lot harder to choose to think like someone from side B, assuming you weren't raised with that understanding in the first place, but it is worth it. it gives you an easy answer to almost every question circling around about queer identity, and all it costs is the comparative "simplicity" of knowing exactly what someone's complex relationship with sexuality and gender is by the words they use to describe themselves.

except, of course, the more precisely you want to communicate this, the more microlabels and unintuitive "rules" one must apply until people know exactly what your deal is, eventually leaving them to google search what the hell you're talking about, because the more you learn about your identity the harder it is to describe it in a word as simple as "lesbian". at that point, it's easier to just describe the intricacies directly rather than making new words at all.

and then at some point you probably ask yourself why you're doing all this. because other people don't need to know! they don't even really know what genders you're attracted to, much less the exact ways in which you are or aren't and the conditions of that attraction! they don't need to know your gender, it shouldn't affect anything about how they treat you except your pronouns!

but, of course, that's not why you feel motivated to find just the right set of words to describe who you are. it's because you're sharing yourself! you want to be seen, to be understood, to be validated! and that's normal! and it's not like there's anything wrong with it, either. but if that's why you're describing yourself, you have to understand that your language will not be the same as other people's. and some people won't understand what you're talking about. and nobody will have the same experiences as you. so sometimes you have to settle for 'good enough'.

and when you see someone whose labels don't make sense to you, just accept that and move on, or ask them about it if you're really interested in understanding! that sounds a lot nicer in the end to me.