#so this episode wasn't as emotionally devastating as i was expecting

[celestialscribbler]

King’s Tide aftermath

[piracytheorist]

Season Finale, woe is me T_T

Where did time go. It feels like yesterday that the first trailer for the season dropped.

AND THIS EPISODE DARES START WITH YOR HUMMING THE LULLABY

How dare they. Did I ask to be emotionally destroyed like this Yes I did

Bond is so happy to go for a walk with Loid! And Loid isn't exactly reserved with petting his huge dog is he.

I love how heartbroken Bond was over Anya saying she wasn't coming. He even looked back at her as Loid walked him to the exit.

It actually impresses me that Loid is training Bond right out in public, talking to him about where to bite and how much to make sure the target doesn't get too injured. I guess he doesn't expect the SSS to frequent a dog park?

I love the little pat Loid did on his leg to call Bond back. And then of course pet his head :)

Poor Franky's putting up with so much from Twilight, and he doesn't have to. I hope Twilight appreciates that at some point. I'm sure he hasn't developed feelings just for his family.

Sweet cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure

Franky talks about how Bond may have associated training with his trauma from getting experimented on, and it sounds like brand new info to Twilight. I guess, despite how much his spy training has scarred him, Twilight has a hard time connecting "having bad memories about something" with "not wanting to engage with that something". After all, he'd spent who knows how long telling himself that he hated children because they're incomprehensible to him, and not because children crying reminded him of his own desperate times. After all, it's easier to do his job and keep training hard if he refuses to accept how soul-crushing that job is, right?

Damn, I got sad again. Because I imagine post-reveal Loid and Yor asking Anya why she chose them, and she says that she thought they were cool, and Loid has a RealizationTM that no he's actually very messed up and it's very sad that this little girl imagined that this devastating way of life could actually look cool to someone from the outside.

Not to worry, there's more angst I'll pull out of nowhere down the road!

Franky calling Loid out for not knowing how to relax and have fun >>>>

I love how after Franky left, Loid and Bond looked at each other like idiots. Old habits die hard, and an entire cruise of Loid trying to relax and have fun wouldn't be enough to break them, I guess XD

She's like "If I can't get real stars might as well fake some" Poor Yor continuing to clap happily even while Anya's origami star fell from her chest XD it taught her how to properly apply tape I guess, for later...

Pretty much everyone around them is wearing winter clothes, even Loid is wearing a turtleneck and a heavy coat. Why are those children in such light clothes eating ice cream? The boy on the left we even see later is wearing shorts

Guess an ice cream was an easy kind of snack for a kid to feel bad about dropping XD

Sweet Bond! He's imagining Loid praising him and telling him he's glad they adopted him, and all while Bond is wagging his tail 😭😭

This family is just four lonely creatures desperate to be wanted (even if Twilight is very far from accepting that) aren't they ;_;

Ice cream goes RIP and Bond has his (probably) first experience of a self-fulfilling prophecy. Look at him he's so 🥺

Later in the episode, Twilight goes all strict with himself for a laugh. Here though, he actually expresses distress and guilt for Bond ruining the kid's ice cream. He could have gone for a simple "I'll buy you a new one" without showing that much emotion in his expression and voice. In the manga he even has a typical "cold sweat lines" expression.

Or however you call that.

I don't know, maybe it circles back to any "starving war orphan" trauma he may be trying to tell himself he doesn't have...

I'm just saying, he was very expressive here, and he didn't have to. It wasn't a conscious choice.

Bond is really such a good boy. Every time he acts on his visions is to help someone else. From something as trivial as dropping a snack to something as important as saving someone's life, whether they're a kid, an old man, or a puppy, Bond is truly a very empathetic and caring creature.

However, the silly music playing over the vision of the old man getting hit was... a choice XD

Yet another example of the anime putting details to help the narrative: the old man is hunched, making him short enough that the corner of the wall/fence to his side is actually covering him. Which makes the biker not seeing him make sense, since he was behind the fence and appeared at the last second.

I actually felt shivers with the tone Twilight used here. Bond's behaviour is making no sense and is actually a first.

But also, Bond is probably only now realizing that unlike Anya, Loid cannot read his mind and cannot see his good intentions. He knows Anya would jump for joy for what he did, but since two of his efforts to help were met with reprimands, he's hesitant to try again because his trauma rears its ugly head and he fears he'll get kicked out. He probably doesn't understand that Loid doesn't know anything about his special powers, and so he can't let Loid's reprimands pass by him unaffected.

It's a bit similar to how he probably connects bad food with bad intentions, and thus fears that Yor will be mean to him, since she makes such horrible meals.

And so he allows the woman to get bird poop on her, but he jumps to action when he realizes someone's life may be in danger of the fire.

And first, I know we talk about how strong Yor is, but can we for a moment talk about how Loid held back this absolute beast of a dog?

Like, Loid allowed him to carry him around twice, but when he felt things got serious, he actually had no issue holding him back. It was only when Bond looked legitimately scary that he let go.

And that was... a shock. Have we ever seen Twilight like that before? Cause he genuinely looks like he hesitated out of fear... and maybe realizing that no, this time Bond is actually dead serious.

Bond probably didn't know what he would be looking for once he stepped inside the burning building. I'm pretty sure I wasn't the only one who thought that that "Daisy" was a child... but maybe Bond is more attuned to scents of other dogs, especially little ones that need help, so he could find the puppy amidst all the burning smells.

Badass Loid saving his doggo!

Loid doesn't hesitate to run in after him, either. Even the idea that Bond could be rescuing someone is enough for him to take that risk. I love how, after two attempts of what Loid thought was Bond attacking innocent people, he still believes Bond would have a good reason to run into a burning building and runs after him to help.

I mean, you also ran into that building to save your - for all you know, disobedient - dog, so maybe it's the pot calling the kettle black XD

How sweet is he, though. He really doesn't believe in reprimanding someone after the fact - Bond running into fire was dangerous, but it helped save an innocent life... and Twilight's priorities are very clearly shown in that reaction!

I love how man saves dog, dog saves man, and then Twilight is like "Wow your nose is incredible" because of course he can't think of another explanation, and Bond's affirmative borf there sounds like "Yeah sure, buddy. It's my "nose" alright."

Even though it's only Bond with him, Twilight uses "Twilight voice" as he assesses the situation, and "Loid voice" when he talks to Bond. Is this him putting on a mask... or feeling a little more comfortable around Bond?

I'M HOLDING OUT FOR A HERO TILL THE END OF THE NIGHT

That was so badass! But then!

Miserable creature

Exactly how much water was in that bucket to make Bond's entire massive fur soaking wet XD

This is both so wholesome and, me being me, so fucking heartbreaking at the same time. Like, the other guy let himself laugh his heart out at how Bond looked, but Twilight barely allowed a single sound out of his mouth that he couldn't control. And again, angst is my wont, so it really ruins me that he's not even letting himself laugh over something ridiculous, because he can't let his emotions show... even if it would be totally understandable for him to laugh at that moment.

I mean, as I said, he showed genuine distress when Bond caused the boy to drop his ice cream, but he stopped himself from laughing even when the other guy next to him was laughing too. As in, he allows negative expressions when it's appropriate, but not positive even when it's appropriate and understandable.

I mean, he has been smiling at his family and looking at Yor like the besotted simp he is... but he doesn't realize just how much of his real feelings pour through his face, exactly because he hasn't realized said feelings. Wet Bond was a much clearer example of something funny, so he knew that laughing would be a loss of control...

Anyway what I'm saying is it's sad. He shouldn't feel he has to repress his own laugh like that.

Kinda sad the anime omitted this still-trying-not-to-laugh expression Loid has as he sees Bond sniff around.

Bond's voice adafhgdsfdgfdgd

Arsonist guy is watching sneakily from a corner while wearing a hat that has "Fire" written on it.

Dude couldn't have been more suspicious if he tried.

Pretty sick how he got even more excited at the idea of someone dying from the fire, when he heard the woman say how Daisy was still trapped inside.

Vigilante Bond! Arsonist guy takes out his knife and tells Bond to not be disrespectful of humans and my dude you're the one setting people's lives at risk and having a blast about it

We haven't seen Twilight in such action in a while, have we! Ngl it was kinda, uhm... 😳😳

LOOK AT HIM! So proud of his doggo 😭😭

He then says how it would be bad if either of them were in the news... and you're reminded that this is fictional but still pretty accurate 60s-70s so Twilight has really avoided getting any picture of him published. But also Bond could indeed be recognized by any of the scientists... and it's actually sweet how Twilight cares for Bond's secret not getting out. He helped Bond with his "revenge" and now he's acting to protect him from getting targeted again.

I love how Bond fears he'll get reprimanded for biting the arsonist's leg and not arm... when in the beginning Twilight very clearly said he can bite either a leg or an arm XD

BUT THEN

He tells Bond how "someone" will be sad if anything happens to him (Bond), (and we get a sweet af montage of Anya and Bond having fun together), how Bond is first and foremost a part of the family, how his working duties should come second and he should look after himself...

Oh it's gonna hit him like a brick wall when he realizes the exact same things apply to him 😭

SHUT UP AND LET THE BESTEST BOI LOVE YOU 😭

He's not gonna tell anyone, promise 🥺

And he ends with a promise to go to the dog park the next day so that Bond can have some long overdue fun. Yeah definitely a very detached, cool-headed spy who only cares about the mission not destabilizing. Sure.

The anime did offer us some extra stuff, though!

I love one (1) gremlin

I actually saw it as a knife, too XD

I love her.

I fully expected to see the paper puppets (or whatever you call those) fall apart like Yor's victims' bodies do XD I was not disappointed XD

Anya is still working on accepting that her mother is not very capable of not sprinkling "murder" on anything in her life XD

Loid isn't wearing his coat when they return...

I am amazed that they've had Bond for, how many months has it been now? And yet neither Loid nor Anya had ever seen him wet.

Anyway, Loid appeared back without his coat because his excuse was that someone had sprayed water all over them, so he took it off XD

But where is his coat even XD

Her heroes!

And of course Loid doesn't know Anya knows about the puppy rescue, so he's not that affected by the "Stella" and is instead going like "Yo but could you get going with earning those stars already". He's not used to getting recognition for his hard work and he's not about to start... yet...

The closing montage was so sweet! Especially with the holidays around the corner, it was very fitting to see the children having fun and relaxing, Yuri being very NormalTM, Nightfall and Franky having dreams for the future, and the Forger family having their celebrating dinner!

I love them so much.

And thus, the season has ended, and this anime only will start wondering how her Saturdays will pass from now on :')

I am thinking of doing more crack recaps, finishing my character screen time project, and probably starting on some fics... but for a very specific reason, the completion of those will have to wait until the next season ;)

This was a wonderful season! I may have rewatched every episode almost three times, but I do wanna do a "recap" full rewatch of the season at some point, and share my overall thoughts. I certainly have a lot of time on my hands for that XD

[little-fandom-dump]

going to try so hard to cohesively express all of my feelings about Thee israel basilica hands, so bear with me as i write a fuckin novella about this wet cat lad

(obvi spoilers for s2, e 1-7)

i am first and foremost. just incredibly impressed with his growth this season. last year, we had "he's done something to my boss's brain" and "this, whatever you've become...is a fate worse than death". last season, he had nothing but malice and spite for stede (for helping ed discover he can be soft and gentle) and ed (for letting himself change around stede) both. we know canonically now that it was all fueled by love- albeit a possessive and jealous love that hinged on his ideal perception of who ed was as blackbeard.

for years, he subjected himself to a cruel and unfulfilling affection. he allowed himself to be abused just to feel needed, to receive table scraps of attention and praise.

by all rights, he should fucking hate stede this season. after all, didn't he ruin blackbeard's pirating prowess, tarnish the version of the man he has fallen in love with? the crying in a soft velvet robe, the blanket fort and amateur poetry- these are coping mechanisms ed would never have indulged in before meeting stede.

but izzy doesn't hate stede, not really. like he says in episode 7, he understands that stede makes ed a better person- someone more loving to himself and those around him. how could he truly hate someone who does what he could not, who helps the man he loves grow into the best version of himself?

no, who izzy really hates is himself. in izzy's eyes, he's the one who pushed ed into becoming the kraken again after the breakup- he thinks he's responsible for all of the abuse and torture ed puts the crew through in the resulting weeks. the gun to jim's head, the apathy at ivan's death, the extreme psychological and physical abuse that ed inflicts onto the crew- izzy puts a lot of that blame on himself. we see this in his interaction with lucius about moving on- he dangled his leg above the shark, wasn't it really his fault when his leg was bitten off? he drinks himself half to death, begs for the crew to just kill him already, drives all of his pain inwards and inwards and inwards.

the thing about that, though? when a person engages in such self-destruction, they're bound to hurt those closest to them (ask me how i know). and he does. izzy's pain and guilt and self-hatred bleed into the lives of the crew, and it's only after he puts ed's gun to his temple and misses that he realizes it. so, what does he do? ever the unkillable bastard, izzy climbs his ragged way out onto the deck and turns the same gun back on ed. he may be a fucked-up self-loathing twat, but he can't allow (what he views as) his mistakes to hurt the crew-- or ed--anymore.

it is a testament to both the brilliant writing (and con's acting), however, that he doesn't suddenly heal after that. it wouldn't be a realistic expectation to have of him- after all, he's gone through incredible physical, emotional, and mental trauma for years now. izzy, he's not a functioning or emotionally healthy person. instead of suddenly being better and well-adjusted, he's angry and bitter and still so self-destructive. but he still tries to thank stede for the rescue. still tries to convince stede that ed didn't hate their breakup and do horrendous things to the crew and himself, still tries to keep him from knowing they (seemingly) killed him.

and when ed wakes up and stede finds himself the captain of their motley crew again, izzy is still hurting but izzy still tries. among so much hurt and devastation, he tries! and then the crew makes him a new leg, a literal embodiment of the trust and love they have for him- and he realizes that he deserves better! he deserves better for himself than to drink alone and spit venomous insults at his reflection. sure, he still drinks before noon and insults the crew-- but he also teaches stede new pirating skills, helps lucius out of his own traumatic funk, navigates the new ship dynamic as best he can. the insults are still there but there's no longer poisonous intent behind them. (the poison replaced with positivity)

the amount of grace and emotional maturity izzy is displaying in later episodes is incredible, considering what storms he's just weathered. his effort is admirable, especially towards ed and stede. he has every right to hate the two of them, to disavow them and leave the Revenge, but he doesn't. Instead, he takes time to reclaim parts of himself that were long hidden or never developed at all. chrissake, he lets himself be tender! he lets wee john help him with his makeup, sings a lilting love song to the crew, openly admits to stede that he loves ed, supports stede on the republic of pirates, allows himself to be more vulnerable than he's ever been before.

izzy sees now how good ed and stede are for each other, and he congratulates them on their, *ahem*, docking even while harboring his own jealousy and hurt. even if it's a bit of a joke, the sincerity is still there- he's willing to grin and tell stede he balances ed out, the two of them are good for each other. it's not even remotely hinted at, but i'm willing to bet izzy knew what the two of them were doing in the cabin while he was singing his soft and sweet requiem for the love he harbors for ed. and yet he still chooses to be kind and supportive to them both. to himself.

i know this post was a million paces long, but i'm just having so many feelings about izzy hands. and i'm so, so proud of him for admitting to himself that he deserves better, he deserves vulnerability, comfort, support, and the fullness of his identity as a queer person. it's a major change this season (one i honestly did not expect!), but one i love love love. great storytelling and great acting. i'm so looking forward to the future of izzy's character development.

TLDR: izzy's commitment to doing better for himself and others makes me emotional. i'm incredibly proud of him for trying to do/be better each passing moment.

[frenesi-jpg]

Welcome to today's episode of this series called "characters i didn't expect anything from who destroyed me emotionally"

Ogata, the first time i saw him i was so mad that he had Kenjiro tsuda's voice and made fun of his eyebrows all the time. But oh boy, i wasn't ready for all the emotional damage this fucker was going to leave on me, it devastates me.

His story feels like a theater play, a perfect tragedy from start to finish.

Do I think he's absolutely atrocious? Yes. Do I wish he could live a normal and fullfiling life? Also yes

But the way it all plays at the end is absolutely amazing and i think it was the best it could be

[deanismysavior]

I was brainstorming a hypothetical ST5 with the assumptions of Byler being endgame and the first couple episodes taking place right after ST4, and I found myself asking a few questions:

If we do get a Melvin breakup at the start of ST5, likely initiated by El, how do you think Mike will react? I kind of feel like he would be surprised by it? Like the impression I'm getting from him is that he thought his speech was enough and that he doesn't suspect that El might be unhappy with him - just that she's not talking to him because she's still reeling from her loss. So I feel like if El straight up says that she wants to break up with him, Mike would be taken aback, because he did what she wanted him to do and said that he loved her, and wasn't that enough? I also have a feeling that El breaking up with him might result in his insecurities coming back up. We know he's afraid of El not needing him anymore, so El breaking up with him might straight up throw him for a loop.

And if we are getting a Melvin breakup in the first couple episodes, I feel like chances are really, really high that that'll be where Mike finds out the painting isn't from El, and that would cause him to confront Will. Like, Mike is gifted with a painting he's told was commissioned by his girlfriend that portrays him as the heart, a very sweet gesture, and is comforted by his best friend that his girlfriend will always need him. Mike gives her what he think is a motivating speech where he says all he thinks she wanted to hear, but then afterwards she barely talks to him, and then next thing he knows Hawkins is being taken over and his girlfriend ends up telling him (probably) that his confession sucked and she wants to break up with him. And Mike might be seriously confused, like what did I do wrong? I thought you would always need me? What about the painting you gifted me, and the meaning behind that? And then El might be like, what painting? And then it'll finally click for Mike that his best friend wasn't just wrong about the fact that El needed him, but that he lied to him. His best friend of almost a decade, who is almost always honest and upfront with him, lied about the painting and told him lies about how he would always be needed and valued by El (from Mike's pov, obviously we know Will genuinely meant that).

So I feel like Mike might actually be pretty emotionally vulnerable if El breaks up with him? And it would get doubled if he also finds out that Will lied to him about the painting, so there would probably be a possibly angry confrontation about it. And then it brings up another question, how is Will going to react if Mike finds out about him lying about the painting? I'm pretty sure Will isn't expecting Mike and El to break up and would be unprepared to actually own up/admit to lying about the painting.

Either Will decides to tell truth and genuinely confesses to Mike, or he continues to lie about it/dodges the question/just doesn't answer. And honestly, I think it could go either way? Idk, that's how far I got. I'm curious to hear if you think anything like this is possible/how you think the characters would react.

So I definitely think Mike will be surprised by the breakup coming from El, and he'll be a little scared at first as to what that means, but I think once he's taken a beat, he'll actually feel relieved and might express as such to Will, saying something along the lines of, "I thought I'd be devastated, but, I don't know, it feels like maybe this makes sense for us. We're so different now."

I think this would be a good moment for the painting to come up, but since we know the painting was inspired by the Bill/Beverly/Ben parallel with the poem, I could actually see the revelation about the painting coming after the time jump and Mike realizing Will had been in love with him the whole time.

I honestly think that if Mike confronts Will, Will would be honest with him. We know Will can't lie to Mike, and even if he's scared of the outcome, I don't think he'd be able to just deny something that big.

[bettsfic]

betts your obiwan posting makes me want to watch it, as a prequel fan. i havent looked at star wars in ages and dont have disney+ is this worth pursuing??????

i was certain, CERTAIN, i would be immune to Obi-Wan Kenobi (dir. Deborah Chow, 2022). for 17 miserable years i've been adamant that should disney exhume hayden christensen's acting career for the sake of new darth vader content, i would not be among its audience.

i've been angry most of my life about the prequels--not just that i loved them while recognizing they didn't live up to their potential and that the success of the franchise was largely because a mediocre dude had the right idea at the right time 45 years ago. but also what i loved about the prequels went totally unseen by many fans and made me feel very alone and like i was just making things up (i've since found a lot of people who love the prequels in the same way i do).

what made me angriest though was the unfair and wildly offbase criticism of hayden's acting. i can agree the dialogue is weak. the direction is weak. but hayden christiensen chews the scenery and spits it out. he's phenomenal. so i just couldn't bear the thought of even more of that in the year of our porg 2022, after the hatred for the prequels had finally died down in the wake of rise of skywalker which i think many of us can agree sunk star wars to a new low. not to mention the disneyfication of the franchise which pushes out new shiny happy content nonstop so that star wars is no longer an eagerly anticipated event, just another show on tv, fighting for attention against all the other content out there.

i can't tell you what exactly changed my mind. it wasn't like i saw any positive reviews or a ton of gifsets or anything. in fact it might have been the total absence of hype that sparked my interest. four of six episodes had aired and my feeds were still mostly ofmd and tgcf. so i gave the first episode a shot.

as expected, i was not wholly impressed. the first episode is a lot of plot setup. a little boring. i didn't end up watching the second episode that night. but for days after i kept thinking--isn't this what i've always wanted from star wars? a well-crafted character study that takes its time? a thoughtful story about the aftermath of revenge of the sith, the more intricate economic and social consequences of the clone war and the rise of the empire? ewan mcgregor being a dilf???

i guess until now i didn't believe i'd ever see live action prequel-related star wars content made by someone with more respect for the source material than shock value or high tech explosions. and that was silly of me--i loved rogue one and solo. i wasn't super into the mandalorian but i watched it and recognized it was trying to do something new. those were all different to me though. i wasn't emotionally attached to the original trilogy and its adjacent stories the way i'm attached to the prequels.

[some spoilers after this but nothing you couldn't piece together from the fact hayden has been on the press tour]

i finally watched the second episode. darth vader was there. i thought, did they really bring hayden back just to be the dude in the suit? and they did. they did bring hayden back just to be the dude in the suit. and the bacta tank. and a heartbreaking mirage in the desert. i was expecting just random high-stakes plot content until the very end of the series when we'd finally get an ominous peek at vader. but no. he's like. a main character. obi-wan's love for him and his regret at the events of RotS is overt. his love for padme is there too. like Deborah Chow really said "padobikin is canon lol." it's emotionally devastating in a way i didn't think any new live action prequel content could be.

[spoilers for episode 5 here but i've also reblogged about a thousand gifsets of what i'm talking about so if you've seen those you've already been spoiled]

then in episode five we get a flashback. pre-AotC. and i don't know why this was the thing that really sealed the deal for me but it just meant a lot to me that they didn't fully de-age hayden back to 19. maybe they couldn't or maybe it was a Choice. they might have done a little polishing but but for the most part you look at him and know you're looking at a 41 year old man. it's a flashback, yeah, but i can't help but think "this is what he would have looked like."

and so there i was imprinting onto darth vader again the way i did when i was 15. but whereas back then i related to his eternal struggle to have agency in a society that only wanted to exploit his gifts while denying him any real personhood, now i relate to the abysmal feeling of regret, the long-term consequences of a million wrong choices. and i guess i'm just impressed that despite the disney backing, the show leans into the real tragedy of the whole thing and doesn't let up. it assumes that the thing we care about most isn't the fate of the galaxy but the fate of one man in it, and we already know how his story ends.

the finale airs tomorrow and i'm not nervous. it follows the canon so closely that you can easily deduce where the story is going, and even though many dudebros would have you believe predictability is bad, personally i find it exciting to see the cause and effect sequence of a story told over many generations totally out of chronological order.

and what's more, i've been watching interviews with ewan and hayden and getting the sense that they enjoyed filming the show, and that it wasn't filmed on green screen but on something called The Volume and that seemed to make a big difference. i think it was moses (reva) who said, "you get on set and you're in star wars."

on a personal note though, what i'm most excited about is that after nearly a year struggling with the motivation to write and a total lack of inspiration, somehow i managed to pound out 12k words in 3 days of a longform RotS fix-it fic i've been wanting to write for 17 years.

tl;dr Kenobi isn't a perfect show and it does fall prey to the overbloated nature of the undying big budget franchise disease, but it's thoughtfully made, entertaining for casual fans, and cathartic for diehard prequels fans.

ps i can't stop thinking about middle-aged wifeguy anakin skywalker and that will be my undoing.

[checkoutmybookshelf]

Ok, so I don't normally cover film and tv on this blog, but there is (paper-thin) precedent for some adaptation chats, so I'm rolling with that because even having slept on it, I have a couple of absolute WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK moments in the writing for WoT s2 ep 4 that I just want to low-key yell about.

First, can we take a second to talk about how CLUNKY the writing is when Liandrin pivots from "yes, its sad when our secret children die" to "oh hey, by the way, your friends are in probably mortal danger and the tower is going to do jack shit about it." That pivot was so abrupt and blunt and off-topic that even an emotionally devastated Nynaeve--who, as far as we can all tell, is still of the opinion that Liandrin is a snake--should have twigged to something being OFF about that. I'm sure the writing was intending to sneakily set that up, and I can see threads in the first three episodes that could bolster that argument, but as @apocalypticavolition said to me when we were chatting, "I did not expect we'd go from 'how do you cope with shit' to the answer, 'your friends are kidnapped.'" That heel-face-turn is too freaking abrupt and too freaking blunt and the wisdom of the Two Rivers--who's whole thing is people reading and management--shouldn't have fallen for that for so much as a nanosecond.

Second...WHAT THE FUCK WAS THE PLAN, LANFEAR? You have Rand tied to a bed, you've just admitted you're a monster too, and you're doing scary magic shit...If Moiraine does not show up to stab you off Rand, what the hell was the next sentence out of your damn mouth? How does this fit with your show character? (We're just not gonna talk about how much she has diverged from book Lanfear.) Like, as a standalone, scene, this is kinda threatening and scary and shocking, but if you look at the scene in context...WHAT THE HELL WAS THE NEXT SENTENCE IF YOU HAD NOT BEEN INTERRUPTED??? Was she going to praying mantis him? How would the dark one have felt about that? Hell, how would Ishamael have felt about that? And if she wasn't about to praying mantis him, then WHAT? I am vividly and powerfully reminded of Lindsay Ellis declaring that the laziest shot in the Phantom of the Opera movie is the one where the phantom is dangling his phantom weight on the noose around Raoul's neck but cannot hang him because he's tied to the grate. This is very much the vibe I get from Lanfear declaring herself a monster and doing spoooooooooooky one power stuff.

None of this is to say the performances were bad; the actors are by and large doing herculean work with the drek they're given. These are WRITING problems, and pretty fundamental ones at that.

[carinavi5]

I've just finished rewatching Good Omens s2 but with my parents this time. I was expecting a bigger reaction, or maybe a few negative ones spread around the episodes. But that was not the case, and it somehow makes me feel more crushed.

I was expecting my dad to complain, at least slightly, while watching the show. He doesn't typically like quiet, gentle and romantic shows but I was expecting for him to at least pay attention to this one since he truly liked season 1. But no. After the first episode, to which he did pay a bit more attention to, he has been with his phone all the time. I've even had to ask him to lower the volume at times. When I ask him what he thinks about the show or anything regarding it, he simply answers with something similar to "Well..." or some kind of mumble or sigh.

My mom, who is more open than my dad about this topics, has been paying attention and everything. She's also not a big fan of romance but when in other shows there's something as big and beautiful as this ending or something unexpected, she does comment on it. This time, she hasn't really said anything.

They are both usually vocally homophobic/transphobic, and it somehow hurts me that this wasn't even big enough to deserve their complaints.

I read someone talking about how devastated his mom was after the ending and how the show may have "cured" his mom's homophobia. (Neil Gaiman answered him, you may have read it too) It made me a bit hopeful.

I was silly to expect anything at all from my parents. I wanted them to at least care about the main characters about whom I've heard them talk so fondly about. I just wanted to see them care about queer individuals. I just wanted them to feel a bit invested in the emotional lives of the characters I know they liked.

Negativity shows at least a bit of worry and attachment. I was expecting negative reactions towards the "background" characters but hoping for investment and worry and sadness about the main ones, especially from my mother's side. But they haven't.

I should feel grateful they aren't showing specially big negative emotions about this lovely couple, right?

I hope this doesn't sound silly. Complaining because they didn't give a negative reaction... I'm kind of crying right now. I hope others feel my desperation and sadness, I don't want to seem childish. Maybe I'm reading too much into it. Maybe it's good that they don't care. Even if it was an obviously devastating and emotionally charged ending with two characters they previously seemed to care about as the spotlight of it.

I am queer, but I could still bring a masculine, straight, cis man home as a partner. I could end up never having to introduce any partner to my parents, regardless of the reason. Maybe I'm exaggerating. They wouldn't react negatively, they'd simply not care. It's good... Right?

[clagex]

hwo did you like episode 27 :)

ohohoho good shit right there mmmhmmm I love being emotionally hurt by podcasts

Technically when they were planning the dinner and dancing I knew something bad is gonna happen but I wasn't expecting John crying and just being devastated it hurt me so much

But like, I do love that! Can't wait to see what happens next (I was really just on patreon planning to give some money but debating whether I wanna be a member of the cult and decide Arthur's choices)

[objectivelyimpermanent]

Episode 10

Continual pacing issues. I'm going to wait until it's finished airing and I can do a binge-rewatch, but I think it's structural at this point, and it may be just a feature of the series now. And since it is a melodrama, I am not going to comment on: kidnappers ringing the doorbell; not checking inside the vase; evil villain monologing; convenient bulletproof vest; convenient Kinn arrival time.

It's good that Ken is the (dead) mole. I never liked him much. Someone should definitely make a Whack-a-mole joke. Whoever argued that he was the mole since he was always speaking in Ominous English™, well done. I do wonder if he wasn't just the incompetent mole, and the secret mole is Arm because that would make me really sad, but he is being relied upon for all spy tech, we still have a home invasion incoming, and he would be one of the most devastating moles.

I called Big stepping up. Good man. Was he our key character death? It was a bit rushed, if so.

Kinn should have killed Tawan; that would have been more emotionally satisfying. He didn't because he's softhearted at his core, and possibly also because his new piece was watching (although Porsche absolutely would not have minded Kinn shooting Tawan in the head), but it would have been cathartic, and it would have rounded out that emotional arc nicely. It also would have been a moment of growth as the boss-to-be. The jail escape scene, considering that Porsche chose escape, went about as well as it could have gone, with Kinn letting him go. Kinn never thought that Porsche was the mole, obviously, because no one did, because everyone has met Porsche. Porsche was doing the same thing that everyone seems to agree that he was doing in the episode 7 bathroom scene with Vegas and that definitely he was doing with the tug-of-war scene in the spa in episode 5—shutting up and following along until he figures out what the fuck everyone is doing. But trust issues are still here—don't think that I didn't notice the sex distraction from talking about it, and the 'I'm on your side' scene hasn't happened yet, so we've some issues still upcoming. Deutsche Bank looks on disapprovingly, as do we. But the trust issues remaining is fair, since it was a theme so dramatically emphasised in the trailer. Relatedly, Kinn seems to be smoking a lot. If I remember correctly, his vice of choice is usually a whisky or so. I don't know that he's picked it up from Porsche or that it's a return to a prequel habit. Porsche himself was smoking less this episode, possibly holding to his decision to quit in episode 7. He's under stress, and he's not talking to Porsche about it. Nonetheless, the final shot was very pretty, and we got Kinn smiling cutely as he does. Porsche likes Kinn to be happy, and he is happy when they're together, but happiness cannot be itself a foundation for a relationship, especially one under as much constant stress as a tripartite 1) gay, 2) mafia, and 3) heir relationship.

Vegaspete! Torture! CBT! That was great. We had a little bonding, and it looks like we'll have some more next episode. I want to know more about the guy who only exists to pull down Pete's trousers. What a guy. I don't think anyone is surprised that Vegas' Red Room of Pain is decorated in Classic Edgelord style. Pete wasn't. Skullfaced Mother Mary next to a ballgag? Why not. We already knew that Vegas was unhinged: trouserlegs in the pool, lovebombing, grabbing arse in a temple. He has so many scenes where it's clear that he's just trying to recreate scenes he's seen in movies or TV: the Italian massacre scene where he slutted over Porsche; the scene where he was somewhat normally flirting with Porsche but revealed that he was more on the stalker end; the kiss scene which I swear he thought was a natural progression; the scene with Pete when he talked about reincarnation in the temple; the miaowfioso conversation with Porsche next to the pool; the jail rescue scene. He's saying lines like he's expecting the instrumental version of Freefall to be playing in the background. It's like he doesn't quite understand how a human is supposed to work. You'll notice also that most of these scenes are romance-adjacent. Absolutely Vegas has never properly dated anyone. Tawan does not count. Vegastawan was disgusting, and Tawan is clearly a yandere (that thinks he's a woobie). I spit. Vegaspete is going to be less about sexy darkside BDSM temptation than about Vegas doing something kind of lame and absolutely baffling and Pete rolling his eyes or laughing in his face. Pete is a human masochist, thank you very much. The scene with Pete laughing was actually really good. We got an aspect of his personality that we've only really seen in his personal trailer with the powermad grin.

Kinn and Kim still haven't been shown on screen together, although we did get the start of a phone call.

Given Porschay's ultimatum to Porsche about the mafia thing, I think that the Kimchay breakup will happen next episode. Perhaps episode 11 will be focused on our secondary couples.

[thiswomanshouldbewriting]

Ho postato 6.198 volte nel 2022

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@what-am-i-outside-my-google-tabs

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Ho taggato 3.479 dei miei post nel 2022

Solo 44% dei miei post non aveva tag

#parole al vento - 570 post

#stedward - 442 post

#our flag means death - 420 post

#blackbonnet - 416 post

#ofmd - 337 post

#sanremo 2022 - 252 post

#esc 2022 - 240 post

#stede bonnet - 179 post

#edward teach - 144 post

#yes - 111 post

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#something something not a single person in my family is capable of rational thought and i have no idea of what to think of anything anymore

I miei post migliori nel 2022:

#5

I don't usually want to get my hopes up, but it Rhys "great at physical comedy" Darby and Taika "these are two innocent fully erect eggplants" Waititi don't get to play an over-the-top, ridiculous fight that quickly becomes a sex scene in S2 what was even the point.

901 note - Postate 1 giugno 2022

#4

Absolutely devastated at the idea that, for most of human history, for you to hear music there had to be someone physically playing/singing in your vicinity. I would have gone rabid over a good musician.

989 note - Postate 25 novembre 2022

#3

Ok but episode 5 is such a turning point and I feel the need to ramble about this a little.

When I first saw the almost kiss at the end of the episode, I was kind of surprised. I knew from tumblr that the relationship between Ed and Stede was going to develop into a romance, I just didn't expect it to happen so quickly and so explicitly (the damage queerbaiting does to a mf). That scene signed a tone shift that I wasn't expecting, and the more I think about it the more absurd it feels that I didn't see it coming.

While Edward and Stede have lots in common and get along from the moment they meet, they are not on equal footing at first.

Stede treads Blackbeard as a friend, but he is also in a kind of hero-worship situation. He's known about him for a long time, he just had his life and crew saved by him, he is learning crucial skills from him.

And Ed, well, Ed also liked Stede from the moment he heard about him but, as lovable as he thinks that Stede is, Ed is still going along with his own plans. He decides to contact Stede because he's bored. He's learning about upper class because he wants to be one of them. As much as he likes Stede, he does not need Stede, while Stede pretty much needs him to survive.

What changes this dynamic? Well, the way Stede reacts to Ed's vulnerability.

In episode 4 we see Blackbeard in complete control of the situation while Stede panicks, until we learn that Blackbeard was wrong about the day. At that point Ed just... gives up, and retreats to drink himself into a stupor, and is joined by Stede. While they don't exactly bond in this moment, they are for once on equal footing, both musing on their own failings, and come up with the same plan at the same time. They work together, and while Ed still does not need Stede in his life at this point, he has learned that, at the very least, Stede is not the kind of person that would stab him (physically or emotionally) the moment he shows weakness.

Then episode 5 comes along and, despite Blackbeard's attempts, Stede starts to see more through the facade. Stede sees how the "rich donkey" comment got to him, and offers a support that Ed is not yet ready to accept. But later, when the party gets ugly, Stede "soft boy" Bonnet tells motherfucking Blackbeard to stand down, with so much authority that Ed actually does listen to him. Stede not only sees how much those comments got into Ed's head, not only stops him from doing something extremely rush and stupid in response, but actively takes the matter in his hands, punishing a boat full of people for the crime of hurting someone he cares about.

Ed has grown up in a world where every man has to fend for himself, where pirates don't have friends, where weakness means your crew will mutiny, and suddenly he is faced with someone who not only doesn't shame him for his moment of weakness, but tells him don't worry, I can deal with this so you don't have to. The look that Ed gives Stede as the boat burns is, I believe, both because he didn't think Stede had it in him, and because he definitely didn't expect Stede to do this for him.

Cut to the moonlight scene. Ed is still processing everything that just happened, when Stede approaches him and offers, once again, support for what he just went through. He gently takes (after asking!) something that Ed cares about, a symbol of his softness, and treats it with such care and respect, showing Ed how to display that to the world. Ed knows, in this moment, that he can trust Stede, that it's safe to be vulnerable with him, something that he probably hasn't felt with anyone in years. Of course he takes that step forward, of course he is tempted to kiss him.

And this fully progresses in epsiode 6. The episode opens with a montage of the two of them enjoying each other's company, finally on equal footing, because Ed has realized that he does need Stede, not for his plan, but as a person he wants to spend time with, someone cares about (much to Izzy's chagrin). Not only that, but the hilarious/flirty "stab me" scene is all about physical trust. Ed trusts Stede enough that he's willing to be physically vulnerable when he's around. But this isn't the highest level of trust for Ed. Ed would probably rather be stabbed than talk about his feelings, but by the end of the episode he's ready to show Stede what, by pirate standards, is the worst part of him. He's crying, he's scared, he's showing all of his emotional vulnerability, and once again Stede only shows him care. Stede reassures him that he's not a monster, that they're friends, and that their friendship won't change because Ed planned to kil him or because he was too soft to go through with the plan (there's a wonderful post about this, I can't find it right now).

It's not a coincidence that from episode 7 onward these two are clearly and openly head over heels for each other (still screaming about Ed trusting Stede to take something out of his beard), so much so that other characters start to fully acnowledge theirs as a relationship. The progression of their romance - from the instant chemistry to the weird tension to the full flirting - is dictated by how vulnerable Ed is willing to be with Stede, and how gently Stede treats him in response. And it breaks my heart because when Ed finally brought down his final defenses, when he was ready to leave it all behind for Stede, he had his heart broken in the worst possible way.

1.093 note - Postate 16 aprile 2022

#2

Stede Bonnet is literally THE Unkillable Gay™.

Stabbed in the guts and hanged? He is fine by the end of the next day. Blackbeard plans to kill him? Too late, Blackbeard has already fallen in love with him. Run through with a sword and impaled until (at least) the following morning? It's fine, there are no important organs on the left side of the body anyway. A guy tries to shoot him? He accidentally trips and shoots himself in the head instead. His wife plans to murder him? They have a nice heart-to-heart and end up hugging.

He literally cannot be stopped.

1.554 note - Postate 13 aprile 2022

Il mio post numero 1 del 2022

Currently screaming about Stede instinctively saying that Blackbeard is lovely and then immediately realizing that this is not the answer that people wanted and, crucially, it is not an answer he can give them.

He spent weeks at sea, on the naval equivalent of a gay pride parade, surrounded by people who were welcoming, if not of his pirate style, at least of his quirks. He read them stories, he saw them being queer with no guilt, he showed them all of his heartbreak about Ed leaving and was only met with support.

He has forgotten what hiding feels like. Or, rather, he has forgotten that he's supposed to hide. He's not on the Revenge anymore, where he could have donned his silk robe and talked with Lucius and Olu about his feelings. He once again has to hide who he is and, he realizes, he has to hide who Ed is as well.

There are so many layers on which this is true. He has to lie about Ed's vulnerabilities because they are something Ed himself keeps secret, and Stede can't breach that trust. He has to hide Ed's softer side because it won't be accepted, just like Stede's own softness isn't. He has to keep up the Blackbeard persona because that is keeping Ed safe through the fear people have of him. And yes, he also has to hide their relationship because, as far as I can tell from Wikipedia, that was a crime punishable by death.

Stede has, in the span of two seconds, to take all of this in and quickly shift back into his old mask, profoundly aware that as friendly as these men are right now, he can never be honest with them. Which is only highlighted by the fact that they openly cheer after his speech about death, despite it being clearly traumatising for him.

Idk maybe I am projecting, but I truly felt what Stede felt, the need to smile and lie through a family dinner on order to avoid outing yourself or someone else you know. Brb I'm gonna cry now.

4.264 note - Postate 18 maggio 2022

Guarda ora l'Analisi del tuo anno 2022 di Tumblr →

Adding a few comments to this:

I can't believe (but actually yes I can) that ofmd completely monopilzed my tags and top posts. Awesome.

I posted on average 1.6 posts a day. I'm on this website too much (no, I actually use it just the right amount)

@omarfor-mp3 I'll take the cookies.

[lettersfromandie]

2020 Highlights

I guess it'd be an understatement to say that 2020 was a really awful year, given the devastating effects of the global pandemic and the innumerable disasters and issues happening in our country. I think we got jinxed with our "2020, please be good to me" posts 🙍

We all started that year still not knowing about the presence of COVID-19, and from then on, it all went pretty downhill after that. From everything that has happened in my life and others', I can frankly say that 2020 was actually the worst 😠 However, while reflecting on it, I can also count some bright days. I guess it wouldn't hurt to kind of celebrate the good ones during that horrible year, eh?

I fully acknowledge that so many lives were (and still are) at stake and just trying to get through that year wasn't easy for us -- even much more for others. I also know that terrible things can still happen regardless if there's a pandemic or not. But I too still acknowledge that despite the horrible year, there were actually bits in my life, however small or big they seem, that remind me to keep moving forward and get through the day no matter how mentally and emotionally challenging 2020 had been.

So I just want to share some of the good highlights I had that kept me sane during that dreadful year, without seeming tone-deaf or tactless:

HK & Macau Trip

Litrato mula sa sandaling bago mag sakuna??  Wow pre-COVID days na we were still not stuck in our homes? and still be able to travel?? Gosh I miss those days  😞 

Anyway, this was my first time in Macau and second time in Hong Kong! We went back a year after our first HK trip because our fam loves it there. What I most especially like in HK is its easy-peasy convenient public transportation system -- which, I reckon, is a huge factor why we wanted to visit again since it's less hassle to go to many different places. Macau though, has one of the most beautiful and extravagant-looking architecture and interiors (we only visited a whole day because too laysho for my layf LOL). 

With High Honors

I don't have a photo to share for this highlight (well I actually have a few but for privacy reasons I wish not to nalang) but I'm really so happy to know that my hard-earned efforts led to the expected performance and reward! I remember back in JHS I made a deal to myself that if I ever belong in the Top 10, I'll treat myself with a large Sbarro lasagna! HAHAHAH grabe noh kana ra jud haha it's been long since I last ate one (gi dibdib jud ang deal ba) and I actually haven't treated myself one after the recognition program. When everything starts to settle down I hope to get myself one!! hihi (I can only imagine how the food tastes better after not eating it for years!)

Happy Birthday to me!

I turned 19 on May 19th! Ew, I am growing old. Just the thought of me turning 20 this year makes me puke 😖 chz. But this is obviously worth celebrating because I am blessed with the gift of life and the time to celebrate it with my family <3 

Passed UPCAT

MOM, I PASSED UPCAT! AAAAHHHHH Well this is unexpected as someone who just skrrrt-ed my way through the Math part and didn't even finish half of it! Luck doesn't always favor me but I'm happy that I got lucky in this 😊 I feel like I don't deserve it but still, thank you so much, Lord!

The Weeb Life

If there's one thing to describe what I did the whole time while I was just at home, I would say... BINGING ANIME! My fave anime characters are my fave fictional companions during quarantine huhu I'm so glad I started watching anime (and reading manga) this year. Honestly at first it wasn't really my cup of tea after watching some anime recommendations but then I tried watching one episode of Attack on Titan and after that MY LIFE STARTED TO CHANGE (HAHAHA OA kaayo noh).

There were actually days and moments I did not include in my highlights that gave me a sense of strength and purpose while coping everything that had happened that year. But I wish to just keep it to myself for these are my little personal winning moments hihi. 

Albeit this "wasted" year of mostly spending my days within four-cornered walls, 2020 was actually a year of learning and growth for me. I just hope this year everything will eventually get better for all of us and we'll no longer have to get by with those community quarantine classifications 🙏

Love, Andie

[live-the-fangirl-life]

The Last One

The Court - Throne of Glass x FRIENDS - Fic Series

S10, E17/18 : Rowan, after realizing he's still in love with Aelin, chases her down, refusing to let her go. Meanwhile, Elide and Lorcan welcome their baby...or babies, into the world.

Episode chosen for Rowaelin Month 2021. Day 12: Delayed Love Confession

Fic Masterlist | Main Masterlist | Read on Ao3 | Rowaelin Month Masterlist

Warnings: Language, Mentions of Sex, Mentions of Birth

7860 words

*******

Rowan woke up to the bed shifting. He cracked an eye open, still cloudy with sleep, and watched Aelin sit on the opposite edge while she pulled her shirt over her head, concealing the bare expanse of her back.

“Hey.” He croaked, voice still rough.

She turned and gave him a soft smile, whispering, “Go back to sleep, I have to go home.”

Rowan wanted nothing more than for Aelin to never leave his bed, but he knew she had things to do so instead he said, “Oh, okay.” He reached a hand across the sheets and grabbed hers, “Last night was amazing.”

She finished putting on one of her shoes and looked back at him with that same soft smile, “It really was.”

Rowan tried to read the emotions that flashed across her face but then she was standing and bending over to draw him into one last kiss. Her palm rested on his cheek while his gently cupped the back of her head before they pulled away. Rowan kept his eyes on Aelin as she left his room and he didn’t fall back onto his pillow until he heard the sound of his apartment door clicking shut behind her.

***

Elide was scared. Scratch that—terrified. Elide was terrified, but she kept her calm as best as she could while she held Asterin’s hand.

Elide had thanked all the gods she could name for Asterin coming into her and Lorcan’s lives. After getting married and enjoying the first few months of bliss, she and Lorcan decided to try having a baby, but after months of negative pregnancy tests and too many doctors visits, they were told it likely would never happen for them. Devastated, they thought through their options and settled on adoption. But even then, they knew it would take some time.

Elide remembered some afternoons spending hours sitting by the phone desperately hoping it would ring and be someone from the adoption agency to tell them they’d been picked. When they’d finally gotten the call and met Asterin, a young woman who was looking for the perfect parents for her baby, they knew it was meant to be.

Now, standing in the delivery room, Elide held Asterin’s hand as the woman powered through another contraction.

“Breathe, breathe, breathe,” Elide coached encouragingly, “good.”

“Are you fully taking over, or do I get to say breathe?” Lorcan asked as he walked to Elide’s side beside the bed.

She scoffed and tilted her head to meet his eyes. “No. Last time, you said it like a sociopath, and it creeped her out.” She turned back towards Asterin who looked tired, “Can I get you anything? Ice chips?”

“No,” Asterin shook her head, “I’m okay.”

Elide nodded and smiled, “Alright, I’ll be right back.”

As she started to walk out of the room, Lorcan’s hand shot out and gripped her elbow, stopping her.

“Where are you going?” He asked. She could almost detect a hint of nerves as he spoke.

Elide raised a brow, “To the bathroom.”

Lorcan lowered his voice so that only Elide could hear. “You can't leave me alone with her.”

“What?” She asked incredulously.

Lorcan ran a hand through his long hair, and now she could definitely see nervousness etched across his face. “This is exactly the kind of social situation that I am not comfortable with” he grumbled.

Elide snorted, “What kind of social situation are you comfortable with?”

He leveled a stare at her. “It's just that we've never spent any time, you know, alone together.”

Elide rolled her eyes at her husband, “You’ll be fine,” she took a step and turned back, giving him a small smirk, “No, you won't, but I'll be back in two minutes.”

Lorcan sighed but grumbled okay.

He walked back over to the woman lying in the hospital bed, trying his best to seem calm, but by the grimace she shot him, he wasn't doing a very good job.

“So, uh,” He grasped for something to say, “any plans for the summer?”

“I don't know, maybe travel? I wanna do some flying again.”

Lorcan hummed, still not sure what to say. If Elide had still been in the room, she’d have laughed at how ridiculous he looked. Standing well above six feet, with his hands fidgeting and swaying on his toes from being so uncomfortable in the moment.

“So, you ever wonder which is worse, you know; going through labor or getting kicked in the nuts?” Lorcan asked the first thing that came to mind and immediately regretted it. He should've just kept his mouth shut.

“What?” Asterin asked, her eyebrows scrunching in disbelief.

“I mean, uh,” He rubbed the back of his neck, “One of life's great, unanswerable questions. I mean, who knows? Maybe there's something even more painful than those things?” Lorcan cringed and suggested, “like this.”

***

Lysandra walked into Fenrys’ apartment to see him holding two small fuzzy animals.

“Good morning,” She said hesitantly.

“Hey!” Fenrys grinned, lifting up the creatures.

“What's that?” Aedion asked, following Lysandra into the room.

Fenrys grinned, “It's my house-warming present for Elide and Lorcan.”

Lysandra and Aedion shared a look.

“It's a baby chick and duck,” Lysandra said, unnecessarily. “You know they’re living in the suburbs right?”

“Uh-huh,” Fenrys nodded, “And I named them Chick Jr. and Duck Jr.”

Aedion snorted, “I didn’t see that coming.”

“Yeah, I figure they'll love it at the new house, you know?” Fenrys set the animals down, “It has that big backyard. And then, when they get old, they can go to that special farm that Lorcan took the other chick and duck to.”

Lysandra raised a brow at Fenrys and hummed, unable to say what she actually wanted to say.

Aedion barely held in a grin as he nodded sagely to Lysandra and mocked, “Yeah. It's a shame people can't visit there.”

Fenrys was cut off as Rowan showed up and joined them in the apartment,

“Guess what?” Lysandra whirled on Rowan, smiling, “we’re almost all aunties and uncles!”

“What?” Rowan asked, confused.

“Yeah,” Fenrys said, “Asterin went into labor last night. Elide and Lorcan are at the hospital right now!”

“Oh, my gods.” Rowan grinned at the thought of a massive Lorcan holding a tiny baby. He shook his head, glancing around, “Is Aelin here?”

Fenrys glanced towards Aelin’s room, “Uh, I think she's still asleep. Hey, how did it go with you guys last night? She seemed pretty pissed at you.”

Rowan couldn’t—wouldn’t—suppress his smile as he thought about the night before. Being with Aelin again was better than he remembered, and he cursed himself for all the time they’d missed out on.

“Yeah, we, uh, we worked things out.”

Lysandra’s eyes widened as she watched him, “What's that smile? Did something happen with you two?”

Rowan chuckled, “Hey, I'm not one to kiss and tell,” then he muttered, “but I'm also not one to have sex and shut up.”

Apparentally, his last words weren't as quiet as he thought.

Aedion groaned, wincing “Dude, that's my cousin.”

Rowan ignored Aedion as Fernys laughed, “Oh my gods, You and Aelin?”

“I know, it's great.” Rowan didn't think his grin could get any wider.

Lysandra hugged him, squealing, “So what does that mean? Are you guys getting back together?”

“I…” He trailed off, frowning. They hadn’t actually talked about it before Aelin had left earlier that morning. “I don't know. We didn't really get to talk about it.”

“But do you wanna get back together?” She pushed.

Rowan didn’t hesitate as he said with certainty, “Yeah, I do. it just felt so right. When I was holding her, I mean, I never wanted to let her go. I want to be together.”

Lysandra, Aedion, and Ferys all had matching smiles as they listened to Rowan.

Then Fenrys spoke up and Rowan felt himself deflate.

“So is she still going to Paris?” He asked, still holding the small animals.

Rowan had been so caught up in the happiness of last night and that morning that he’d completely forgot the reason why he and Aelin had been so emotionally worked up their argument caused the tension to finally snap, leading them to spend the night together.

Aelin had been offered an amazing job. A perfect job. Perfect, except for the fact that it was in Paris and not New York

She'd had said goodbye to each of their friends. Except him. She’d cried and laughed and reminisced with all of them. Except for Rowan.

He’d been so upset, so angry. How could Aelin not have anything to say to him, after all these years, after all they’d been through?

When he’d confronted her, she’d told him, devastated, “If you think I didn't say goodbye to you because you don't mean as much to me as everybody else, you're wrong. It's because you mean more to me.”

He’d stopped her, not needing to hear anymore as he grabbed her shoulders and pulled her in for a searing kiss. She’d been shocked, unprepared for Rowan’s actions. She’d stepped away, searching his face, before pulling him towards her and kissing him again.

Gods, how could he have forgotten that she was leaving?

“Wow, I hadn't thought of that. I hope not.” Rowan didn't know how he would deal with Aelin leaving now. He’d just realized that he still loved her, and now he might lose her. But how could he expect her, or ask her, to stay? What kind of person would that make him? A desperate one? A man in love? Or an overreaching, entitled one who thought he could step in the way of one of the best opportunities she'd ever been given?

He would have to talk to her before he spiraled any further.

“Oh, this is so great!” Lysandra exclaimed, unaware of Rowan’s churning thoughts, “You guys might get back together, Elide and Lorcan are getting their baby, and there are chicks and ducks in the world again!

They all looked towards the sound of a door opening to see Aelin emerge from her room.

“Good morning,” She smiled at them and ignored the pointed looks and wiggling eyebrows of her friends.

“Hey,” Rowan smiled at her.

She walked up to him and greeted him quietly, “Hey.”

“How’d you sleep?”

She smiled, “Good, you?”

He matched her grin, “Good.”

Fenrys snorted, “I bet you did!”

Aelin flipped him off, shooing him, Lysandra, and Aedion away. Once they’d left, Rowan cupped her face and swooped down to kiss her. It felt like coming home.

When they broke apart, they both wore soft smiles.

“Last night was wonderful,” Aelin told him, rubbing a hand down his arm.

“Yeah, it was.”

She kept her eyes on his as she told him, “I woke up today with the biggest smile on my face.”

He tried to keep the satisfaction off his face but failed and she huffed a laugh, rolling her eyes before softening her features again.

“I know, me too,” Rowan told her, moving one thumb to brush along her cheek. “It was...you know, it was like one of those things you think is never gonna happen, and then it does, and it's everything you want it to be.”

She nodded, “I know,” Aelin leaned up to press another soft kiss to his lips before pulling him into a hug to say into his ear, “it was just the perfect way to say goodbye.”

In that moment, at her words, Rowan felt like his heart shattered into a million little pieces.

***

The hospital room buzzed with excitement.

“It's just a little bit more, honey.” Elide held Asterin’s hand as the young woman pushed again.

She sobbed, more in frustration than anything else “Help me! This hurts!”

Lorcan stood a step back and asked, “Is it really that bad?”

Both women glared at him with a ferocity that made him want to be swallowed up by a hole in the ground.

“Yeah,” Asterin answered through gritted teeth, “I think it's time to kick you in the nuts and see which is worse!”

Elide sighed as she was reminded of the words Lorcan reluctantly relayed to her earlier. She looked back at him, “No tact.”

The doctor cleared his throat, drawing all their attention towards him, “The baby's head is crowning.”

“Oh my God!” Elide cried, walking around to see, “That is the most beautiful top of a head I have ever seen! Lorcan, you have to see this!”

Lorcan had never looked more uncomfortable. “I'm okay.”

Elide whirled on him, “Lorcan, you don't wanna miss this. This is the birth of your child!”

His child. The words rang through him and sparked some sense of resolve. He shook himself of his discomfort, outwardly at least, and stepped up behind Elide to see what she was seeing.

“Wow.” He murmured reverently, “Disgusting.”

Elide scoffed but Loracn gripped her shoulders and kissed her forehead.

“Here we go,” The doctor said, glancing back up at Asterin “Start pushing.”

A shill cry broke through the air and Elide and Lorcan watched as the doctor held up a beautiful little baby. When Elide ripped her eyes away from the infant as the nurses cleaned it, she looked up to find Lorcan already staring at her with tears in his eyes. They didn’t have to say anything, they both felt the same overwhelming sense of love.

“It’s a boy.” The doctor said, leaning back and adjusting his gloves.

“A...a boy!” Elide beamed at Lorcan as he stood open-mouthed before showing her the widest smile she’d ever seen on the man.

“A boy.” He breathed.

“Oh, you did it!” Elide went back to Asterin’s head and wiped the sweat from her forehead. She leaned closer to the girl and whispered, “Thank you. Thank you so much.”

Asterin smiled at them both, “I'm really happy for you guys.”

“How do you feel?” Lorcan asked.

She sighed, “So tired.”

The doctor sat back into position, saying, “Well, you don't have that much time to relax. The other one will be along in a minute.”

The hand Lorcan had been rubbing down Elide’s back froze, as did both of their breathing as they slowly turned to face the doctor with eyebrows up to their hairlines.

“I’m sorry,” Elide said slowly, aware that Lorcan hadn’t resumed breathing yet, “who should be along in a what now?”

The doctor gave them a weird look, “The next baby should be along in a minute.”

“One.” Lorcan finally regained his ability to speak. “One baby. We signed up for one baby.”

“You know it's twins, right?” The doctor asked slowly

Elide laughed hysterically, “Oh, yeah! These are the faces of two people in the know!”

“I…” The doctor trailed off, “I can't believe you didn't know it's twins! This has never happened before.”

“Oh wow,” Loracn snorted incredulously, “That makes me feel so much better.” He ran an agitated hand through his hair.

“Wait,” Elide faced the doctor, “did you know it was twins?”

He nodded slowly, “Yeah, it's here in the paperwork we got from the clinic.”

Elide then spun around to Asterin, “Anybody tell you?”

Asterin furrowed her brows, “I don't think so. Not explicitly.” she insisted. “they did mention something about two heartbeats. But I thought that was just mine and the baby's. They kept saying both heartbeats are really strong, and I thought well, that's good 'cause I'm having a baby.”

Elide let out a shaky breath trying to wrap her mind around what was happening. “This is unbelievable.”

Lorcan gripped Elide’s arm and tugged into the corner of the room. “Can I see you for a second?”

Elide had never in her life seen Lorcan look more unsure of what to do. His hands were shaky as he gripped hers. “What do we do?”

She took a deep breath and looked directly into his eyes. “What do you mean what do we do?”

“Twins.” He stated urgently, “Twins!”

Seeing Lorcan so frazzled oddly calmed Elide down. “Lorcan, you’re panicking.”

“I sure as fuck am, join me!”

She cracked a half-smile, “Lorcan, take a breath, it’s going to be okay.”

“Elide, we are not ready to have two babies!” his eyes were still wide in shock and fear.

“That doesn’t matter!” she hissed, grabbing his arms and making him focus on her. “We have waited so long for this. I don't care if it's two babies. I don't care if it's three babies! We are taking them home because they are our children!”

Lorcan’s face softened and she watched as a steady resolve found its way across his face and through his body. They took a breath together and he pulled her into a hug and kissed her forehead gently. When he pulled away, he had a small smile reserved only for her. “Okay.”

“Okay,” she repeated, her arms still wrapped around him.

“Okay.”

“Okay!”

“Okay!” he laughed, and this time it wasn’t fear clouding the sound, but joy.

“It looks like we're about ready over here.” the doctor called, and Elide and Lorcan walked back towards Asterin.

When another cry sounded, the doctor lifted the second baby, declaring, “It’s a girl.”

“A girl?” Lorcan asked quietly, a smile growing.

“Indeed.” The doctor replied, passing her to be cleaned up.

Spinning towards Elide, Lorcan said excitedly, “Well now we have two different ones!” then he whirled back to the doctor and put on his stoniest glare, “And that's enough!”

***

Lysandra, Aedion, Fenrys, and Rowan sat in the coffee house, Cadre Coffee, as Rowan told them what Aelin had said earlier.

“And then she hugged me and said it was the perfect way to say goodbye.” Even repeating it now, felt like chewing on broken glass.

“What did you say?” Fenrys pried.

Rowan sputtered, “Nothing. What do you say to that?” What could he say to that?

“Rowan,” Lysandra pleaded, “you've got to tell her how you feel.”

“I can’t do that to her.” He sighed, defeated. “I can’t lay that on her right before she’s supposed to leave.”

“Rowan,” Aedion leaned forward, making sure he held the silver-haired man’s attention, “Aelin doesn't know that you wanna get back together. If she did, she might feel differently. She might not even go.”

“You really think so?” he asked, trying not to sound too hopeful.

Just then, Aelin breezed into the coffee shop.

“Hi, guys!” She waved before walking up the counter.

Rowan watched her a moment. “Alright, you know what? You're right. I should at least tell her how I feel.” He could do that. He had to do that.

"Rowan, wait!" Fenrys called from behind him.

Rowan spun around, "What?"

Fenrys grinned, "Can you get me a muffin?"

Rowan gave him a one-finger response and took a step towards Aelin.

“Aelin?” Nox, the barista who’d worked at the coffee house for as long as any of them could remember, got her attention.

“Yeah?”

“I know you’re leaving tonight, but I just have to tell you. I love you.”

Rowan stood frozen in place, mouth open, as he watched the scene unfold.

“I... I don't know if that changes your plans at all, but I thought you should know.” Nox nodded earnestly.

“Nox, Oh,” She placed a hand on his shoulder, “I love you too. Probably not in the same way, but I do. And, and when I'm in a café, having coffee, I'll think of you.” She kissed his cheek before waving towards the group and leaving the coffee house.

Rowan sat down, meeting the shocked gazes of his friends. “Oh, my gods!”

Lysandra snorted, “Unbelievable!”

"Hey," Fenrys leaned forward, "you know what might help?"

Rowan glared at him and scoffed, "I'm not getting you a muffin!"

***

“We're going to take Asterin to recovery now.” The nurse told Elide and Lorcan as they each held one of their babies.

“Oh wait,” Elide caught Asterin’s hand, “There's something that we want to tell you. We decided to name the girl-baby Asterin.”

She smiled, “Oh, that’s just like my name!”

Elide held in a laugh. It was clear Asterin was either still on some medications or just very, very tired.

“Okay,” the blonde woman said, “I'm gonna go and get some rest. I'm really glad I picked you guys. You're gonna make great parents. Even Lorcan.”

Despite his eye roll, Elide saw the pride and gratitude in Lorcan’s eyes.

“Bye, Asterin.” Elide called as she was pushed out of the delivery room.

“Bye.”

Moving closer to Lorcan, Elide cooed, “Oh look at all their teeny fingers and toes.”

“I know,” he smiled widely, making him look younger, “You ready to trade?”

“Okay!” They tried maneuvering a few different ways but eventually gave up. Switching babies when you only have two hands is not an easy feat. “Alright, let’s see…”

“Maybe later?” he suggested.

“Perfect.”

***

At Elide and Lorcan’s apartment, Lysandra found Fenrys hunched over the coffee table.

“Hey, what are you working on?” She asked, walking into the living room.

He grinned, “It’s a ‘Welcome Home’ sign for the baby.” He held up the large sign which read Welcome Home Baby in red paint beside a funky-shaped red blob.

“Uh,” Lysandra squinted, “Is that supposed to be the baby?”

Fenrys rubbed the back of his neck, looking sheepish. “No, I sat in the paint.”

She snorted just as Rowan walked in.

“Hey,” He nodded at them.

“Hey, so did you talk to Aelin?” Lysandra asked.

Rowan ran his hand through his hair and sighed, “No, and I'm not going to.”

“What?” Lysandra asked incredulously at the same time Fenrys jumped up and asked, “Why not?”

Rowan dropped into a seat at the kitchen table. “Because she's just going to shoot me down. You guys saw what happened with Nox.”

Lysandra scoffed and lightly hit him upside the head. “How can you compare yourself to Nox? I mean, sure, he's sexy in a more obvious way.” She smirked as Rowan glared. “You have a relationship with her, you slept together last night. For gods’ sake, you’re Rowan and Aelin! You’re Rowaelin!”

Rowan huffed, standing up, and told her harshly, “Yeah, and she still wants to go! It's pretty clear where her head is at.” He sighed, shoulders slumping. “Look, even if I were going to tell her, I don't have to do it now. Okay? I'll be seeing her again. We've got time.”

“Gods, Rowan!” Lysandra tried to make him see reason. “No, you don't! She's going to Paris! She is going to meet somebody. Do you know how many hot guys there are in Paris?”

The door opened before Rowan could get another word in and Aedion strode in carrying a rolled-up paper.

“Hey,” He said as he walked over to Lysandra to kiss her before setting the paper on the table.

“Hey, babe,” Lysandra smiled. “Whatcha got?”

“Oh,” Aedion brightened and unrolled the piece of paper. “I made a little something. If I had more time to work on it, it'd be better, but.” He shrugged, revealing a precisely drawn sign reading Welcome to the World, Baby Lochan.

“Damn, Ashryver,” Rowan nodded appreciatively “that’s really good.”

Fenrys scoffed, still standing next to his sign, and rolled his eyes, grumbling, “You know, the baby can't read, Aedion.”

Lysandra laughed as Aelin opened the door and strode in.

“Hi. You guys, my car just got here,” she said dejectedly. “I can't believe they're not home yet! I have to catch my stupid plane. I wanna see the baby!”

Fenrys spoke up, “Elide called a few minutes ago from the car. She said they should be here any minute. And apparently, there's some big surprise?”

As if on cue, Elide carefully pushed the door open and stepped inside carrying a small baby.

Aelin couldn’t hold in her gasp and none of them tried to hide the misting in their eyes.

“Oh, my gods!” Aelin beamed as she walked to Elide, resting a hand on her shoulder.

“Oh, El!” Lysandra gushed, rushing forward.

“So tiny,” Rowan murmured, coming up next to Elide as Fernys and Aedion joined the small group, too.

They turned as they heard another set of footsteps enter, turning to see Lorcan walk in carrying his own small bundle.

“Oh!”

“What the—”

“What?”

“Oh, my gods!”

“Holy sh—”

Five different exclamations happened simultaneously as all their eyes darted between the two babies.

Rowan shook himself and clasped Lorcan on the shoulder, “Okay, awkward question. The hospital knows you took two, right?”

Lorcan glared at Rowan but neither man could keep the grins off their faces as they looked down at the infants.

“Yes, Whitethorn, it’s twins.”

“They’re precious,” Lysandra cooed, making funny faces at the one in Elide’s arms. Aelin, having said hello to that baby, stepped next to Rowan to gaze down at the one Lorcan held.

“This is a boy,” Elide told them, gesturing to the one she held. “And that’s a girl,” she nodded to Lorcan’s.

“Her name is Asterin,” Lorcan told them, not looking away from his daughter’s face.

“Oh, hey, that pregnant lady’s name was Asterin.” Fenrys nodded.

Aedion snorted, “It’s a shame you two didn’t spend more time together.”

Aelin aww’d and patted Lorcan’s arm, the two of them sharing a rare, warm smile.

“The boy we named Cal, after my dad.”

“Oh, you guys,” Aelin whined, “I can't believe this. But I have to leave now, or I'm gonna miss my plane."

“I’m just so glad you got to meet them,” Elide said, watery, pulling Aelin into a hug.

“Me, too,” Aelin told her. “I'm just sorry I'm not gonna be around to watch you two attempt to handle this! Alright, I can't say goodbye to you guys again. I love you all so much.”

I love yous were exchanged and Aelin walked to the door.

“Rowan?” She caught his eye, “come here.”

He nodded and followed her into the hall, shutting the apartment door behind him.

“Rowan, I,” She paused, grabbing his hands and looking into his face with such genuine sadness it made his heart crack and made him want to pull her into his arms and not let go. She took a breath and continued, “I just want you to know, last night...I'll never forget it.”

He cleared his throat, willing the lump in it to disappear. “Neither will I.”

He cupped her cheek and she leaned into the touch. Aelin pulled him in for a hug, holding on tight. When she pulled away, Rowan used every ounce of strength to unwrap his arms from her body, to step away as she walked down the hall and away from him.

When Rowan walked back into the apartment, Lysandra sat next to him and asked, “So, you just let her go?”

Rowan couldn’t reply, he just replayed the last two days over in his head.

“Maybe that's for the best.” Fenrys chimed in, taking up the empty chair. “You know? You just... Look, you gotta... You gotta think about last night the way she does, okay? Maybe sleeping together was the perfect way to say goodbye?"

Lysandra groaned, “But now she'll never know how he feels!”

Aedion walked over and said not unkindly, “Maybe that's okay. You know? Maybe, maybe it’s better this way? I mean, now you can move on. I mean, you've been trying to for so long, maybe now that you're on different continents…”

They kept talking but all Rowan could hear was a buzzing in his head.

“I don’t want to move on.”

He said it quietly but they all stopped talking and looked at him.

“What?” Aedion asked, unsure he heard Rowan correctly.

“I don’t.” Rowan shook his head and stood up. “I want to be with her.”

“Really?” Fenrys asked, excitedly

“Of course really!” Lysandra answered for him.

Rowan kept nodding. “Yeah, I’m gonna go after her. I have to.”

“Yeah, you are!” Lorcan cheered from the living room. Rowan didn’t even have time to find his friend’s enthusiasm funny.

“Finally!” Elide added her own cheer, smiling between Rowan and the babies.

“Come on,” Lysandra urged, standing up and following Rowan to the door. “My car’s downstairs, I’ll drive you to the airport.”

“Okay!” Rowan faced his friends again, “wish me luck!”

A chorus of Good Lucks followed him out the door.

***

“Hey,” Fenrys called excitedly to Lorcan and Eide once Rowan and Lysandra had left, “can I give you guys your house-warming present now?”

The couple shared an amused look before Elide told him, “Now, that you can do.”

“Great! Hang on a minute.” Fenrys left their apartment to walk across the hall to his.

“Okay, my little feather babies where are you?” he muttered as he caught sight of the empty box he’d put them in earlier. “Oh shit.”

He hastily looked in the kitchen, living room, and bedrooms. “Chick Jr? Duck Jr?” he called, running a hand through his hair anxiously. “Don’t hide from mama!”

***

“Lysandra, slow down!” Rowan urged as they almost took out a bicyclist.

She rolled her eyes, “Do you wanna get to Aelin in time?

“Of course I do, but I want to be alive to do it.”

Lysandra huffed at his dramatics but eased up on the gas. Slightly.

Finally arriving at the airport, Rowan and Lysandra rushed past the hoards of people, trying to maneuver their way towards Aelin.

“Rowan!” Lysandra called as he made to run down the hallway. “Where are you going?”

“To talk to Aelin.” Obviously.

“What?” She grabbed his arm, pulling him towards the ticket counter. “What, are you just gonna walk up to her at the gate? Have you never chased anyone through the airport before?”

“Not since the last time I chased the love of my life—no I haven’t Lys!”

She rolled her eyes as she kept dragging him away from the terminals. “You have to get a ticket to get past security, Idiot.”

Oh, right.

“Shit, we’re never gonna make it.” he hissed as they got caught behind the human embodiments of snails on their way to the counter.

***

“Miss, your boarding pass, please.” The gate attendant asked Aelin as she approached.

“Right, of course.” She dug through her purse then frowned, not seeing it. Flashing an apologetic smile to the people behind her, she took her purse off her shoulder and rummaged through it frantically. “Shit, shit, shit.”

The attendant cleared his throat. “Your boarding pass.”

Internally cringing, she put on her most charming smile. “You know, I had it,” she forced a chuckle, “Oh, you wouldn’t believe this—”

He looked unimpressed. “Miss, if you don't have your boarding pass—”

“I have it, I have it! Okay, I don’t have it, but I remember that I was in seat 32C,” she leaned in closer and winked, “because that’s my bra size.”

He sighed again. “Miss, you must have your boarding pass.”

Aelin huffed and stepped out of the line. “Okay, fine! But you know what? If I was in 36D, we would not be having this problem.”

Muttering to herself, Aelin scoured all her bags, finally brandishing the ticket and rushing back to the counter. “Here it is!”

***

Finally getting up to the ticket counter, Rowan slammed down his wallet, demanding, “I need a ticket.”

Lysandra pouted. “Just one? I drive you all the way down here, and I don't get to see how it works out?”

“Fine, fine,” he corrected irritatedly, “two tickets, I need two tickets.”

Lysandra sighed dramatically and leaned into Rowan, giving him her most overexaggerated doe-eyes. “We're on our honeymoon” she stage-whispered to the woman behind the computer.

The ticket agent merely raised a manicured brow and asked, “Destination?”

Rowan already had his credit card ready, “whatever’s cheapest.”

Lysandra sighed again, “I’m so lucky.”

Rowan leveled a glare at her and she tried not to laugh.

Once inside the terminal, Rowan sprinted toward the first departure timetable he could find. “Okay, flight 421 to Paris. I don't see it, do you see it?”

Lysandra stood next to him, eyes scanning the board. “No, did we miss it?”

“No, no, no. That's impossible,” Rowan told her. “It doesn't leave for another 20 minutes.”

“Maybe we have the flight number wrong? Hang on, let me call Elide.”

She stepped aside, impatiently waiting for Elide to pick up her phone.

“Hello?” the new mom answered.

“Hey! It’s me. Here’s Rowan.” Then she thrust the phone into Rowan’s hand.

“Elide, do you—”

“Oh, my gods, Rowan, wait until you hear the cute little noises the twins are making. Listen.”

“What? No, Elide.” Rowan cursed as he heard unintelligible baby sounds. “Elide, Elide, Elide, Elide—”

“Oh sorry,” she said, “They were doing it before.”

“Elide! Listen, please. I need Aelin’s flight information.”

“Oh, sure, hang on.” he could hear ruffling paper as he paced back and forth. “Here it is, it's flight 421. Leaves at 8:40.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought, its not on the board.

“Flight 421,” Elide repeated, “leaves at 8:40, Newark airport.”

Rowan froze, his heart sinking. “What?”

“Newark airport.” Elide gasped. “Where are you?”

But she already knew the answer.

“JFK.” he breathed, utterly defeated.

***

If Rowan wasn’t so upset, he would be fearing for his life as Lysandra sped through the streets at breakneck speed.

“Lysandra, forget it, okay? Newark is like an hour away. There's no way we're gonna make it in time.”

“She’s got her phone,” Lysandra braved a glance at him, narrowly avoiding another car, "you could call her.”

Rowan scoffed, “I am not doing this over the phone.”

“You don’t have any other choice!” She insisted before reaching for her own phone and calling Aelin.

It rang once. Twice.

“Hello? Lys?” Aelin’s voice rings out from the speaker and it was like a tether Rowan desperately wanted to hold onto.

“Aelin?” Lysandra answered, relieved. “oh, good. Hey, by the way, did you just get on the plane?”

“Yeah, I did.”

Leaning over, Lysandra hissed, “For what it's worth, we would have caught her if we were at the right airport.”

“Fan-fucking-tastic.” Rowan sniped.

“Uh, Ae, hang on,” she tried pushing the phone into Rowan’s hand but he adamantly refused to do this without being able to look Aelin in the eye.

“Lys? Is everything okay?” Aelin asked, worriedly.

Glaring at Rowan, Lysandra struggled to find a reason for calling. “Uhm, actually no. No, you've...you have to get off the plane.”

“What? Why?” Aelin sounded bewildered.

“I just,” Lysandra sighed, shooting another glare at Rowan, “I have this feeling that something's wrong with it. Something is wrong with the, uh,” she paused again before snapping her fingers and declaring, “with the left phalange.”

“Lys, babe, I'm sure there's nothing wrong with the plane. Look, I have to go. I love you, and I will call you the minute I get to Paris.”

***

On the plane, Aelin hung up the phone only to feel the man beside her tap insistently on her shoulder.

“What was that?” he asked, looking anxious.

“Oh,” Aelin waved a hand dismissively, “that was just my friend. She told me I should get off the plane because she had a feeling that there was something wrong with the left phalange.” She chuckled, sure it was just Lysandra’s way of finding an excuse to talk to her again before the flight took off.

But the man started to fidget. “Okay, that doesn't sound good.”

“I wouldn't worry about it.” Aelin again waved him off, “She's always coming up with stuff like this, and you know what? She's almost never right.”

“But she is sometimes?”

“Well…” Aelin trailed off, thinking about all the things Lysandra has had an intuition about.

Her hesitation was apparently enough to send her seatmate into a tail-spin because he instantly got up and tried to grab his suitcase, only for the flight attendant to stop him.

“Excuse me, sir, where are you going?” The woman asked, curtly.

“I have to get off this plane, okay?” he insisted, then gestured towards a wide-eyed Aelin. “Her friend has a feeling something's wrong with the left phalange.”

He said it loud enough that other passengers began to panic, while Aelin sheepishly shrugged at the annoyed flight attendant.

“There is nothing wrong with the plane, sir.”

He finally got his bag down and cried, “The left phalange!”

The attendant looked incredulously between the man and Aelin, “There is no phalange.”

“Oh my God. This plane doesn't even have a phalange!”

Aelin watched, wincing, as more passengers overheard and insisted they, too, get off the plane. Person after person marched out the aisle and soon Aelin loosed a long breath, “This is ridiculous,” she watched another two people leave. “Yeah, okay.”

Grabbing her own bag, she followed the crowd off the plane.

***

Rowan doubted he’d ever felt as frantic or desperate as he did right now.

He and Lysandra finally made it to Newark, bought another ticket, and raced to Aelin’s gate.

“Where is she?” He muttered, almost pulling out his hair with how forcefully he raked his hands through it.

“I don't see her,” Lysandra answered.

“Aelin!” Rowan shouted, not caring about the stares he garnered. “Aelin Galthynius!”

“Oh!” Lysandra gasped, pointing towards a crowd, “There she is!”

“Aelin!” He yelled again, pushing past people as he tried to run onto the boarding gate.

“Woah,” the gate attendant stopped Rowan, “excuse me, sir, do you have a boarding pass?”

“I just need to talk to someone,” he pleaded.

“I’m sorry, you cannot go any further without a boarding pass.”

“Gods, please, I just need—”

“AELIN!” Lysandra shrieked, getting everyone’s attention including a specific blonde who rushed back out the gate and stood gaping at Lysandra and Rowan.

“Oh my gods,” she looked back and forth between the two before her gaze locked and held with Rowan’s as she breathed, “What—what are you guys doing here?”

“All you,” Lysandra nudged Rowan then made herself scarce

“What? What is it?” Aelin demanded, pulling Rowan aside, “Rowan, you're scaring me. What's going on?”

“Aelin,” Rowan didn’t know where to start. “Okay, the thing is,” he trailed off again. How could he tell that he loved her? How could he wrap up ten years—more than that—of falling in love with her, even at times when he didn’t know it. How could he explain that to her?

“Rowan?”

He took a deep breath. “Don’t go.”

“What?” Aelin asked, shocked.

“Aelin, please, don’t leave. I am so gods damn in love with you. Please, don’t go.”

Aelin stood open-mouthed, her eyes shimmering with an emotion he didn’t dare name. “Oh, my gods.”

He groaned, “I know, I know. I’m an idiot and a bastard, and any other name you want to call me. I shouldn't have waited until now to say it, Hellas, I shouldn’t have waited until now to realize it, but,” he shook his head, locking his gaze with hers. “That was stupid, okay? I'm sorry, I’m so sorry, but I'm telling you now. I love you. I’m in love with you. Please, do not get on this plane.”

“Miss?” a throat cleared behind them, making Aelin blink and drag her watery eyes away from his. “Are you boarding the plane?”

“Aelin,” Rowan took her hand, urging her to stay, “Aelin, please. I know you love me, too. I know you do. Don’t go. Stay.”

“I,” Aelin looked between Rowan and the gate attendant with shock and regret etched across her face. “I have to get the plane,” she whispered.

“No, you don’t.” Rowan held tightly to her hand.

“Yes, I do.” despite her protests, she didn’t pull her hand away.

“No,” Rowan stepped closer, cupping her cheek and reveling in the fact that she leaned into his touch. “You don’t.”

“Rowan,” her words barely louder than a breath, “They're waiting for me, I can't do this right now, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.”

He couldn’t understand what was happening. Rowan couldn’t accept that she was walking away.

“Aelin.” he pleaded, one final time.

She took a shuddering breath. “I’m so sorry.”

Rowan stood unmoving, felt his breathing freeze and his heart cease beating if just for a moment as he watched Aelin walk away from him and board the plane.

He wasn’t aware of people moving around him or of Lysandra coming to stand next to him before pulling him into a hug murmuring I’m sorry. He wasn’t aware of his surroundings as he walked towards Lysandra’s car or his walk back to his apartment. All he knew was that he’d just watched the love of his life walk away and there would soon be an ocean between them.

***

Lorcan sealed the last box of his and Elide’s things.

“Wow,” Elide sighed, looking around the bare apartment. “Everything’s packed.”

“It’s weird,” Lorcan replied, looking around the space he and their friends had occupied for so many years.

“I know.” She stood on her toes and he leaned down to meet her for a kiss.

“So, uh,” Fenrys spoke up from the kitchen, “does this mean there's nothing to eat?”

Elide snorted while Lorcam tried his best to reign in his smirk. Turning, Elide told him, “I put three lasagnas in your freezer.”

He beamed, “I love you!”

She chuckled as the door opened and Lysandra walked in.

“How’d it go?” Elide asked

“So did you guys make it in time?” Aedion spoke at the same time from his place against the fridge.

“Yeah,” Lysandra sighed, “Yeah, he talked to her, but she got on the plane anyway.”

“Where’s Rowan?” Lorcan asked her, knowing Rowan would be hiding away, brooding.

“He went home,” Lysandra frowned and leaned into Aedion’s embrace. “He didn't want to see anybody.”

***

Sitting on his couch, Rowan noticed his answering machine beeping. More out of muscle memory than an actual urge to listen, he pressed the button.

“Rowan, It’s me.”

Rowan jolted, a mess of emotion flying through him as he listened to Aelin's voice filter through his machine.

“I just got back on the plane. I feel awful. Gods, Rowan, that was so not how I wanted things to end with us.”

End. Rowan braced himself, he had to get through this message.

“It's just that I wasn't expecting to see you, and all of a sudden you're there and saying these things...and now I’m sitting here thinking of everything I should’ve said that I didn’t.”

Rowan heard her take a shuddering breath.

“I didn't even get to tell you that I love you too.”

His breath caught, and hope filled him for the first time since he’d been standing in front of her.

“Because of course, I do. I love you. I love you. Gods, Rowan, I love you.”

He held his breath, he almost couldn’t wrap his brain around what he was hearing, what he’d longed to hear.

“What am I doing? I love you! I need to get off this plane—”

“Oh my gods,” Rowan listened, wide-eyed as he heard Aelin argue with a flight attendant.

“Excuse me? I’m sorry, I’m really sorry, but I need to get off this plane, okay? I need to tell Rowan I love him.”

“Miss, can't let you off the plane.”

“Let her off the plane!” Rowan screamed at his machine.

“Oh, please, you don’t understand. Isn’t there any way you can just let me off—”

Beeeeep.

The message ended and Rowan was left sitting on the edge of his sofa staring disbelievingly at his answering machine.

“No!” He jumped up, carding a hand through his hair, “No! Aelin! Oh, my gods, did she get off the plane?”

“I got off the plane.”

Rowan whirled around so fast he thought his neck might snap. Aelin stood in his doorway, suitcase in hand, staring at him with a watery smile and eyes that blazed with surety.

“You got off the plane.” Rowan breathed and strode towards her, holding her face in his hands as she grabbed his arms, each clinging to the other, not able to let the other go.

Rowan wasn’t sure who moved first, but the next moment he was kissing Aelin, It was as if all the years of pining, love, heartbreak, and friendship, barreled through them and into a kiss full of promise. All the mistakes of the past, all the time wasted, was over. Now, they could finally be Rowan and Aelin. Finally.

When they pulled apart, still unable to let the other go, Aelin leaned her forehead against his and told him, “I do. I do love you.”

Rowan brushed a tear from her cheek and smiled down with all the warmth he could gather. “I love you too, Fireheart. And I’m never letting you go, again.”

“Good," She nodded, gripping him tighter, “because this is where I want to be, okay? With you. Always with you. No more messing around.”

“That’s right,” he agreed, “we’re done being stupid.”

Aelin kissed him again. “You and me, alright?” She looked him in the eye and saw everything she felt mirrored there. “To whatever end.”

“This is it. To whatever end” He echoed, pulling her in for another kiss.

***

The seven of them stood in the now-empty living room of Elide and Lorcan’s apartment. The new parents each held a baby, Fenrys sat with Lysandra and Aedion near the large window, and Aelin leaned into Rowan who had his arms wrapped around her as they stood to the side.

“Wow,” Aelin murmured, looking around the bare space.

“I know,” Rowan said into her hair, “It seems smaller somehow.”

Fenrys glanced at the walls a minute before asking, “Has it always been purple?” His answer consisted of several snorts.

Lorcan and Elide strapped Asterin and Cal into their stroller. Elide sniffed, facing everyone else, “Oh, uh, I promised the landlord we’d leave our keys.”

She said it to Lorcan, but each of them walked toward the counter to place their own keys. Elide laughed, looking at seven pairs of keys to a two-person apartment.

“I guess this is it,” Lysandra commented mournfully.

“Yeah,” Aedion wrapped an arm around her shoulders, “I guess so.”

At Elide’s sniffle, Lorcan pulled her into his arms. Through the fabric of his shirt, they could hear her say, “This is harder than I thought it would be.”

Gathering herself, Elide unwrapped her arms from Lorcan’s middle before turning to hug Aelin who’d come to stand next to her.

“Do you guys have to go to the new house right away?” Aelin asked, “Or do you have some time?”

“We have some time.”

“Okay,” Rowan grabbed Aelin’s hand, “should we get some coffee?”

“Sure,” Fenrys smirked. “Where?”

They all laughed as they walked out of the apartment that had become so important to each one of them. Aedion helped Lorcan carry the double stroller down the stairs, followed closely by Elide. Lysandra and Fenrys were bickering, but smiling as they walked. And Rowan and Aelin had their arms wrapped around each other, not daring or wanting to let the other one go. They shared a smile, and with one last glance at the closed apartment door, they left.

*****

Taglist:

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[takerfoxx]

Arcane, Season 1, Episode 3, "The Base Violence Necessary for Change," First Impressions!

Yes, I know I wasn't going to do any more of these this week, shut up.

Glad I did though, because Mother of God...

VThere's always that one episode from a show that lets you know that you are watching something special, that one transcendent episode that hits all the right points, that is almost perfect in a way, and is absolutely emotionally devastating. Passion from Buffy. The season 3 finale for She-Ra. And now, this.

This ultimately is an episode about trying to do the right thing but failing. Vi tried to do the right thing by turning herself in. Vander tried to do the right thing by offering himself in her place. And Powder tried to do the right thing by ignoring the order to stay put and going out to help her family. In this, they all failed, and everything was left so much worse for it.

I admit, I was taken back by the fake-out in the beginning, when Vander showed up instead of the enforcers, but as before, I shouldn't have been surprised. This was his adopted daughter, after all, and he would do anything to protect her, up to giving himself up in her stead. After all, someone had to hang. Piltover had to have its pound of flesh.

But there is one thing he didn't count on. He didn't account for Silco.

Here we learn even more about these two characters' histories. Like Vi and Powder, they were exceptionally close growing up, like brothers even, and apparently worked together in creating the rebellion that cost Vi and Powder their parents. However, something happened during that battle that caused Vander to snap and try to kill Silco. Did Silco go too far. Unleash something that he wasn't supposed to. I suppose we'll find out in time, and regardless, it's clear that the even left a deep wound on both men, and changed them in different ways.

Through violence.

But Silco still has plans and ambitions, and while we're as of yet not quite clear on what those plans are, they do involve Vander and his kids. Poor Bezo and most of the enforcers are killed by the now horribly mutated Deckard, and Vander is taken. Vi is rescued by a distraught Ekko, and she resolves to go save the only father she ever really knew.

Naturally, she, Mylo, and Cragglor all gear up for the rescue, each one bringing along a special set of skills. However, realizing what Mylo had brashly said earlier was true, Vi tells Powder to stay behind. While a smart move, this proves to be their tragic undoing, as she doesn't account for just how much Powder is unraveling.

Powder's freak-out was honestly really hard to watch. Yes, yes, look at that wacky Jinx, with her big explosions and funny antics. But when you take a character that deranged and really work out how they got that way, you will often find a truly heartbreaking story. Powder was a traumatized child who just wanted to prove herself and not lose anyone else. Combined with entirely too much talent for destruction and a few truly destructive hextech crystals, you're left with a recipe for disaster.

And that is exactly what happens. As one might expect, the whole situation is a trap, and now the kids have to content with Silco and his goons, who wants them for...a yet unspecified purpose. Yeah, if I have one complaint about this episode, it would be that I would like to know exactly why Silco wanted Vi so badly.

Anyway, ever the go-getter, Vi finally dons the gauntlets that would become her trademark (or at least, an early version of them) and proceeds to kick ass. But that's not enough to overpower Deckard, and she is forced to retreat.

But then tragedy strikes. See, they were close to winning. The door was still sealed, Cragglor had almost opened a way, Mylo had freed Vander from his bonds, the three of them had combined their talents and had almost gotten away with Vander!

But Powder.

Poor, poor Powder.

She just wanted to help. She just wanted to save her family. She just wanted to prove herself.

And it only cost her everything.

I don't often gasp out loud or whisper, "No, no, no," when watching a show, but I did here. Cragglor and Mylo, killed in the explosion. Vander, forced to take the Venom-juice just to stop Deckard (whom I actually do feel kind of sorry for) before succumbing to his own wounds. The entire family, wiped out.

By Powder.

I don't blame Vi for lashing out. Yes, it was a terrible thing to do and absolutely made things worse, and you can see how much she regretted it, but as we all know, these are some deeply flawed characters enduring some horrible things.

But even so, the damage was done. Devastated by her sister's rejection and her own actions, Powder has snapped.

Just in time to fall into the hands of Silco.

You know, as ruthless and twisted as he is, I kind of feel like Silco genuinely did feel some empathy for Powder. I do think he saw himself in her, as someone rejected by someone that they looked up to and trusted, just like he had with Vander. But regardless of his motivations, he is furthering Powder down her dark path into madness.

But the worst thing of it all is that it was all for nothing. Vander's attempt at self-sacrifice did nothing, because Vi still fell into the hands of the last remaining enforcer, the same one that had struck a deal with Silco. Vander still died, and Mylo and Cragglor are gone too. Everyone tried to help. Everyone tried to do the right thing.

And it cost them everything they were trying to protect.

But if there is one person that actually got what he wanted in this episode, it's Jayce, who actually managed to prove his theory correct, find himself an ally on the council, and accomplish his lifelong dream of combining technology with magic. I expect a time-skip to follow as we catch up on where the paths of Vi, Powder (now Jinx), and Jayce will lead them. I wonder if Viktor's eventual ambitions will cross path with Silco machinations. I'm also curious to see how Vi meets Caitlyn and how that all develops. I fully expect that flare that Vi gave Powder to be used in an ironic way in the future. And whatever happens, I am so hooked right now and totally here for it!

[rappaccini]

and the end of the rewatch is here. 1x10 | last time's notes

0:00

alien reginald was first technically confirmed here, but honestly i think the show wasn't clear enough as to what we were seeing. if you don't know better you could easily assume he's a time traveler or something. and the reginut... god the sight of it makes my blood boil knowing how vanya has it for no reason other than to give steve blackman's oc her powers so he can take her plot.

i guess the reginut's canon title is 'marigold' now? either way, there's something vaguely like it that we glimpse in hotel o in relation to the conception of a kid, and while it's too far out to say what that is, i think there's something to it being related to how the kids were made.

4:20

i like the touch of vanya destroying the house from within. and her symbolic rejection of the siblings (except five) here. it makes the rage far more personal.

6:30

constant: vanya always destroys the house and kills pogo. variable: in the comics, she does it with glee (and with the orchestra as her support), and pogo's death is more an afterthought, an acceptable casualty of destroying the house. in the show, she does it joylessly and alone, but kills pogo intentionally.

(pogo's death is certainly toned down for the rating... as much as impalement is an improvement over getting your brains blown out)

and oh god do i have such mixed feelings about show vanya being so blank now. i used to be really into it but now i just... where'd the anger go. it's not autopilot, the way i tried to make myself think it was, it's just that page genuinely isn't emoting at all. why is vanya's expression this entire episode just 😐 when this is the most emotionally fraught time for the character?

8:19

variable: luther witnesses pogo's death in the show. it's five in the comic. no matter what, someone watches.

it follows that the one who's the most against her must be the one to see it. in the comics, that's five. in the show that's luther, hence the switch.

8:50

in the show, mom dies. in the comics, she survives to be shady in future issues.

i like her death in the show, esp since the family's going to fail. it's a strong symbolic gesture to kill all the old guard who were complicit.

we'll see what butterfly effect her survival has in the comics. i'm excited about that. mom's a much more active and shady character in the comics, and while i like show-grace's super robotic passivity, i'm also like... hm, about how her agency was taken for her.

like so much of the show v comic debate, my thoughts are 'combine them.' show us stepford wife grace in apocalypse suite, and have her develop autonomy (and a darker side) as she spends more time away from reginald.

10:20

and variable: note how the brother vanya has That Vibe with is always gone from the mansion when she destroys it. hmm.

at any rate, five absolutely shouldn't have rejoined the group here. he shows up with no emotional reaction to something that should devastate him, knowing something he can't know yet, and then just vanishes again for no reason later on. he should've come back after the family left, flipped out, and had his moment of realization then.

11:20

ha sure do love how handler's death means nothing foreshadowed how her death meant nothing.

14:10

at any rate i still strongly think vanya planned to kill herself at the icarus. not destroy the world. she wouldn't even know her power can do that yet and her personality doesn't support a sudden genocidal tantrum. i hate how this is never resolved.

15:00

this entire scene at the alley needed to be done without five. and without allison sticking up for vanya-- being upset with her... is good. for allison's. character. +ha remember when steve blackman baited us with kliego only to slap us in the face with lila. expectations subverted. at any rate, in the comics, there is no bowling alley bash. i think it's fine and fun for this version, but we could swap it out easily with something else in other versions.

17:15

sigh. mixed feelings about this bit.

on the one hand, i'm of the unpopular opinion that i like allison's hypocrisy because it's one of the few times allison is allowed to have flaws. i think it's hilarious and fitting that she have this idea that she's allowed to fuck around (dubconnily, i may add) and even have a whole child, but luther has to be forever loyal to her.

i hate that the show doesn't condemn that double standard, and more or less okays it. especially since luther's one sexual experience is so dubconny (that being said, the second luther mentions he was high and out of it allison stops being upset with him, so clearly, she sees the distinction, and i'm glad that's included).

i like that luther is an absolute volcel for allison, and allison's fucking of other people (especially given that assimilationist aspect of her narrative meaning that she was fucking to survive, figuratively in la and literally in dallas) is never held against her by luther or the story. it's just a thing you clench for when female characters-- especially female characters of color-- are concerned, and i'm both surprised and happy that it isn't here.

19:50

vanya: has only one interaction with a child, and it's to snarl at her for eyeing her violin the s2 writers: let's make her a wholesome, perfect nanny! that follows!

22:00

the phone booth scene is only in the show and it's lovely. it's so bittersweet that allison finally speaks to her child, but only after it's too late to speak to her.

i love that luther takes that role for her. though i think the love confession is a little clunky in execution i think it's earnest and sweet enough to get a flying pass from me.

also dear god. the last time allison ever gets to speak to claire, and she literally cannot speak to her. she literally cannot tell her child that she loves her before she dies, and it's vanya's fault, because vanya both cut allison's vocal cords and incinerated claire alive. yes, it was a mistake both times, but honest to god, allison shouldn't care about that.

because no parent would make that distinction, when it comes to a pain as severe as knowing that 1) your young child was killed, 2) your child was burned alive, 3) your own sister is responsible for your child's death, 4) you could have stopped it but didn't, and 5) you couldn't even say goodbye to your child before it happened, 6) and the last thing your child ever heard of you was a vicious custody battle with her father eight months ago.

add onto that the trauma of having your throat slit and nearly dying, having to adapt to life as a mute, being a person who totally defines herself by her superpower and suddenly not having it anymore.

add onto that being a Black woman from 2019 being dropped in the jim crow south with no money, resources, family, friends, or even id, who literally just has the clothes on her back and has to figure out how to survive for two years all on her own, slowly losing hope that her family will come for her and that she'll ever go home to see her child again. and all the while knowing that if she had just shot vanya, none of this would've happened.

no one would forgive that instantly. yeah ~the two years gave her time to grieve and move on~ but would you move on so completely that when you see the person who nearly killed you twice, burned your child alive, disabled and depowered you, and caused your stranding in the past for two years, your first thought is to hug them and invite them to get drunk and dance around and talk romance with you?

fuck no. that makes NO sense.

honest to god allison should want to beat the everloving shit out of vanya in season two. it is incredibly stupid, illogical and lazy of the writers to just handwave all that to make sure allison stays nice and sisterly to vanya in season 2.

26:00

allison absolutely should not be in on the plan to get vanya. she serves a much better purpose back at the rubble to get five, where they can have a heart to heart about what all this shit means.

28:00

the entire interaction with handler is a totally pointless scene that retreads plot points from episodes ago that just exists to get five out of the way.

30:35

constant: vanya always performs with the orchestra at the icarus theater. she always performs all in white.

variable: in the comics, vanya is totally nude, and she has no audience-- there is no formal concert, since the icarus is condemned. the orchestra is in on the world destruction plan and are her loyal followers who literally leap into battle at her command.

in the show, she's in a black suit, the orchestra just think they're performing an ordinary concert and abandon her, and the concert starts full end empties out. the commission goons are the closest thing to cronies she has.

(i like the swapping of the orchestra with the goons: it keeps the commission front and center as an antagonist to contend with in the future, and it makes sense that they'd defend their asset in the universe where her apocalypse carries through. maybe another version can make the orchestra work though.)

what's unclear: in the show, you can't really tell if vanya wants to destroy the world or not. in the comics, she's totally down for it and says as much, and taunts the academy as they try to stop her, but in the show she literally doesn't speak at all. we have no idea what she intends. i hate that. she feels like a vessel for the plot and not its creator.

and tbh while i like that vanya isn't nude anymore and like her suit, i'd love for her to have other world-killing outfits. a leotard, or an evening gown could serve the same purpose. lets get some variety in the looks and try something different next time around please. or at least get those violin markings on the suit next time.

and white. hair. please.

also... man. remember when the apocalypse was the direct result of all our characters' actions and was an operatic allegory for the dysfunction at the heart of the family? instead of the side effect of electroshocking vanya until her powers fell out even though she was drugged and shouldn't have been able to use them in the first place?

gods the writing was strong then

34:45

... yeah the smile... again, i like it but i feel like it messes with the scene's vibe. vanya would not smile at allison like that at this point in her arc. allison should not smile at vanya given what she tried to do to her. the show needed to let them be angry at each other to make their eventual reconciliation and friendship feel actually earned and compelling instead of plastic and empty.

35:00

when it comes to the fight itself, diego slipping in through the side is the same, but he actually has an instrumental role in trying to stop vanya, whereas in the show his role is 'get the gun on stage by mistake.'

in both, diego is unable to kill his female enemy when she's at his mercy, but in only one of them (the comic) it's actually earned, because he loves vanya too much.

i get what they're going for, but this shit makes no damn sense so honest to god they needed to cut it. that's not diego's arc this season-- his arc needed to be cutting the vigilante shit. he can see the good in people in season two.

luther actually doesn't participate in the comics bc he's busy getting allison, throat freshly slit, to a hospital. i think it's vital for everyone to be here, so i'm glad this was changed.

37:10

klaus's role in the climax is a lot more complex in the comics than 'summons ben' -- man dresses up as reg, pretends to be possessed, recruits tribesmen and children's orchestras in a huge elaborate con to get vanya to give up and reduces her to tears by just talking to her... dude put in work.

honestly i think that the simplified version the show goes with works a lot better. him finally embracing his power and bringing ben into the plot at last (lol and then that was tossed out for s2 bc the writers were too lazy to let ben do things).

also... god. ben. i love that the show brings him in on day one and builds towards him rejoining the family fully.

i hate that the show threw it out for no reason, made him do nothing for a whole season, and killed him in a scene that makes fundamentally no sense. and then implied that fucking lila would be the new number six. fuuuuuck. you.

38:10

pAtCh BeLiEvEd In PeOpLE

huuuuuuh? WHERE????

look. 'see the good in people' is a good message for diego's cynical ass to learn. it has its roots in diego literally crawling on his knees after vanya, appealing to her inner loneliness and begging her to stop and just go home with him. and even without the viego vibe, diego deciding to give vanya a chance anyway because of this lesson can work.

but man does it just not work here. because he never does. he jumps into the suicide run with everyone else, and eudora... never even wanted him to learn that. she wanted him to stop vigilanteeing.

mess.

and redoing See The Good In People, but with lila/vanya's younger hotter replacement? fuuuck off.

39:30

vanya never actually drained the family of their energy quite like this. she was distracted, lured into a vulnerable state by klaus and then shot by five.

this was probably changed to give vanya more of an upper hand.

41:00

this is a gorgeous camera move.

and this should have been five.

in the comics, it IS him, and it feels like the show was building towards it being the case until they just... don't go there for no reason.

aside from it simply just... not being good that allison isn't able to be angry with vanya for taking her rumor, the thing she bases her entire identity on, and her ability to do her job, communicate and speak to her child away... god it just needed to be five.

this is his moment. the apocalypse is his to stop.

but anyway. it's fucking allison. for some reason. maybe steve felt like ~subverting expectations~ by throwing a story point away for a twist, maybe he felt a little guilty about allison having nothing to do all season. whatever the case, big mistake.

(if it's the latter.... you can fix that by simply letting allison do things before the finale. like, for example, being smart enough to know how to write her using her rumor without ending the plot too early.)

all being said, i like the revision to the conflict is vanya having her head shot past, rather than shot.

still should've been five to do it.

41:40

the family cradling vanya only happens in the show. in the comic they just let her lay there.

i like that better. let's keep it.

(also, look at mom and dad, holding the baby. love them. hate that the show dumbed them down and got rid of that parental dynamic they had with the rest of the hargs.)

and as in the comics, our girl blew up the moon.

but variable: the academy succeeds in saving everyone in the comics. klaus's telekinesis catches the moon and puts it back. in the show, they fail.

in my opinion, this is better. thematically speaking, they can't succeed in saving the world until they get through to vanya. they haven't done that yet, so they shouldn't save it.

so, s2 is already set up to be inherently different from the dallas arc because in the comics, they never time travel collectively to the 1960s. this is also better, imo, because it allows us to hit the ground running with the latter half of the dallas arc. not that they do, of course. but theoretically.

aside from this it's fun knowing that show-tua is set in the midwest (in s1 it seems like they're in michigan. in s2 seems like they retcon this to indianapolis). in the comics, their location is the fictional 'huxley country'-- and the closest thing to it exists in iowa, though they probably intend it to be east coast (though they pointedly don't identify the city as anything more than The City).

regardless i feel like tua just... is. a story that should be told in the midwest. it just fits the ambiance.

45:00

in our end montage of 'people we love who are incinerated' for some damn reason we don't see claire???

instead we get beeman and officer cheddar (a rural cop who somehow has a big city office?). both cops. yaaay.

also... officer fucking cheddar, who allison knows for 45 minutes, but not her child???? steve blackman?????

i do love that hazel escapes with agnes (and hate how that ends for them), and that cha gets burned alive as the end result of her ultimate corporate shilldom. that is, indeed, all bootlicking will get you. pity the writers forgot that in s2.

at any rate in the comics, we end on allison in the hospital recovering, vanya in surgery with the implication that she may never have the motor control to play violin again, the family realizing the eiffel tower landed on the house, and luther and diego smiling at each other for the very first time in the rubble as they have ice cream together, a symbol within the family of a mission well done.

the endings are so diametrically different. the show set themselves on a path that had to diverge wildly from the comics, simply because the comics kept the world intact and wrapped things up in a little bow--- because of that wrapup, the time skip in the comics makes sense. it doesn't work in the show because you don't follow a cliffhanger up with 'aaand anyway Three Years After That.' you kill all momentum that way.

anyway i think the change to the world genuinely ending is interesting and could've been strong, had they not botched it. i think it's thematically significant that the family can't save the world until they fix their shit-- therefore, them failing makes sense, as long as you follow through with them actually earning their reconciliation before they succeed in saving it. maybe someone else can get it right.

and 45:30

mr way's back with hazy shade of winter and man is it bittersweet now because the rich theming about how time can change everything, nothing's too late and everything can heal if you just try, encapsulated in this song..... doesn't matter.

sigh. maybe in the comics. maybe next time.

anyway. this episode does so much good with the source material: tightening it to make it above all else rooted in interpersonal drama, and evolving the ending to make for a more high-stakes second season (not that it ever materialized). but some glaring writing flaws really fuck it up: diego's plot is a mess, allison is not the one who should be holding the gun to vanya.

101 | 102 | 103 | 104 | 105 | 106 | 107 | 108 | 109 | x | overall