#so this is for anyone like me <3 it'll be alright mate | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lovelyladyabsinthewrites · 8 months

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Love Song for a Vampire Pt.37

Pairing(s):Edward Cullen x Wolf!Reader, Jacob Black x Witch!OC

Warnings: none

Words: 3029

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Part 30 Part 31 Part 32 Part 33 Part 34 Part 35 Part 36 Part 38 Part 39

Kate's scream could be heard past the tall trees that surrounded the Denali coven's home. Reaching the ears of Tanya and Eleazar who had been out hunting to replenish their stock of blood that would last them the rest of the month. Briefly exchanging a troubled look, they drop their equipment and dash off back to the house where they found Kate on her knees in the living room. She was begging Carmen to wake up. The large bay window of their living room was smashed, glass looking like snow against their hardwood floors. Eleazar collapsed onto his knees beside Kate.

"I walked away only for a second to answer a phone call. . ." Kate tells the other two. Slowly, Carmen was coming to as her pale eyelids flutter with life. "Irina must have taken that opportunity to get out. I'm sorry."

Tanya helps her sister up and maneuvers her to the couch while Carmen's mate helps her rouse to consciousness. "It's not your fault." Hastily thinking, Tanya calculates the amount of time Kate had been away and up to when she came upon Carmen. She didn't want to acknowledge out loud that Irina was probably far away now. Mentally she curses knowing that they were now in deep shit with Irina's escape. In a flash she has her phone in her hands and taps Edward's phone number. They had to get this situation under control as soon as possible.

Supporting his mate, Eleazar has Carmen in his arms, her head resting on his shoulder as her black eyes struggle to focus. "Irina?"

"Sshhh, it's okay." He hushes her, gently rocking the both of them to and fro. "We'll get her back."

Her hand goes up to her head and she lets out a groan. "I can't believe this. . . how humiliating."

Unable to sit still, Kate stands up. "I'm going to start tracking her."

Over her shoulder, Tanya reminds her to keep her phone on her in case she comes across anything. Not bothering to use the front door, Kate hops out of the gaping hole in the window that Irina had made and becomes but a golden flash as her legs run at the speed of light. Finally the dial tone is cut off and Tanya hears Edward's voice in a greeting. No time for that. "We have a problem, Ed. Irina's gotten out."

She could hear his sharp inhale. "When? Kate called me just a few minutes ago."

"It happened within that time frame. Irina overpowered Carmen and knocked her out. Kate went after her right now but I don't think Irina is in the area anymore." If her heart was still functioning like a usual human, it would be frantically beating behind her breastbone. This was not good. There were two places that Irina could be heading toward: the Volturi or Forks. Maybe she planned to take matters into her own hands and find where the wolves were. "Send an alarm to the wolves that they need to be on the lookout for her just in case. I don't know what she's thinking anymore but if she so happens to go into your territory, you might be able to detect her before anyone else and warn the others."

"Got it. . . is Carmen okay?" He needed to get out to warn the wolves, but he was also concerned for Carmen.

From where she'd wandered off, Tanya looks back to the living room where Eleazar had situated Carmen on the couch before he too was zipping out of the window. "She's okay. Might have a headache, but it'll pass as will the guilt."

They say curt goodbyes. Tanya shoves her phone back into her pocket as her loud strides clacking back to the rest of her family. "Alright. You guys can stay here if you want to, but I'm gonna join Kate and see if we can find any tracks to where Irina may have gone."

Carmen is already staggering to her feet and giving her head a shake to clear her brain. "I'm fine. Lets go." Her mate is skeptical but has never been one to protest his wife when she has her mind made up. He simply follows her lead, his hands ready if she was still feeling lightheaded and fainted.

Alone, Tanya takes this moment to let out a distressed sigh and rub her hand against her forehead. They were given one job: to keep a sharp eye on Irina. Disappointment is not the strongest emotion she felt then and there. Shame floods her as she was unable to make Edward proud of her and her coven. Acknowledging that it would take a while for her romantic feelings for Edward to go away, she still didn't like letting down the Denali's one true ally.

She believed in no gods or deities but she found herself praying to whoever was willing to listen to her. Praying that Irina made a stop to Forks first before heading to Italy. Maybe then she could be apprehended and contained. Hopefully with (y/n) among the wolves, she could stop them from mistreating Irina. Even though Irina threatened the peace, she was still her sister and Tanya was loathe to lose another family member.

Free at last.

A massive weight lifted off your shoulders, along with your backpack as you open your bedroom window and toss it inside. Closing it once more, you waste no time in joining Embry in the jog to Sam's. Both of you nothing but smiles as the both of you cheered and laugh now that your academic life would not hinder the more entertaining aspect of the pack. Now you could hang out with the witches and watch them.

The summer sun that streamed through the massive branches of trees was kind and heightened the carefree feeling that you and Embry were drunk off of. Sunlight makes a kaleidoscope of shapes on the ground. They moved with the swaying of leaves and limbs.

But the massive figure of Sam's black wolf emerges from the brush and seemingly scaring off all light. You and Embry halt. You couldn't read his mind yet his pinned back ears and raised hackles told you that something was wrong.

To make the travel go faster, the two of you hoist onto Sam's back and he darts to his home. The backyard still has the two tents sitting silently. Void of occupants. Leaping off his back, Sam quickly shifts back to his human skin and you avert your eyes as he shimmies into his shorts. Questions aren't asked. Not yet. His silence told you enough as he leads you through the kitchen and into the once again crowded living room. This time Edward was at the center along with the three witches and Bella seated on the couch, her nervous gaze flitting around the room until they land on you and relief leaks from her.

"Where's Leah?" Sam curtly asks Seth who shrinks.

"She's not feeling well. . ." An obvious lie. Anyone could tell from the manner which Seth's gaze is focused on his feet. Sam doesn't press it though, there are more important issues to take care of and Leah was at the bottom of his list.

Sam shares a nod with Edward, the vampire taking it as a sign to proceed. "Irina from the Denali coven has escaped."

Ice freezes the blood in your veins and robs you of breath.

"What this means is that she could potentially be either on her way to the Volturi or here." His eyes no longer hold that charming honey-gold, instead they're darkened. When was the last time he'd had any animal blood, you wonder to yourself in concern. You feel your packmates stiffen around you at the potential threat of another vampire trespassing on their territory. "The other members of her coven have already been out to look for her around their home but its clear she's long gone."

Nadege closes her eyes and whispers something in her native creole. Next to her, Evita holds her hand and gives it a reassuring squeeze. Dieufel listens with dark, sharp eyes.

"Can't Alice use her power to see where Irina is going?" Colin's voice was timid as he spoke up. One of the youngest members of the pack, they rarely spoke up during meetings like this as they were aware of their status as a young pup. But it was a good question posed to Edward.

"She's not here at the moment." replies Edward which causes Bella to shift uncomfortably in her seat and even Embry and Quil glance at one another. Everyone pinned so much on Alice's special ability. She was what could make or break any subsequent plans.

"I can find her." Dieufel's voice breaks through the concern in the room. But Nadege and Evita only look up at him with worry. Evita and Dieufel had been working so hard to make the wards and it showed on their features. Tired eyes and weary creases above their brows. This would drain Dieufel even more.

Reading his mind, Edward gets all the answers faster than if Dieufel were to have verbally said them out loud. "As fast as you can."

The male witch nods. "It will be done." His eyes rove over to Nadege and Bella. His lips press firmly together before nodding toward his cousin. She could read his mind easily, just not in the same way Edward had. From the expression in the depths of his eyes that she knew so well, Nadege was aware of the responsibility that was now placed on not just her, but the novice Bella as well.

You observe Bella's face. Quil had one time said that Bella had a very neutral face, almost void of any emotion. But that was not true. Her expressions were subtle. The biting of her bottom lip. A slight twitch of her brow. You could tell she was nervous. Having only been learning magic for three days, it surely wasn't enough for her to dive right into making wards. You feel for her.

Dieufel leaves the living room and heads to his tent to begin gathering his materials. Time could not be wasted.

Sam sends out Jared along with Embry, Seth, and Brady. Ideally it would have been nice to have another wolf added to their security. There were still no news of Leah and Sam still was wary of welcoming Jacob back so soon. Though the imprinting hormones flooding through Jacob could possibly now be utilized as a good thing. The innate instinct to protect his imprintee would make him all too vigilant and ready to defend. Quietly while plans are being devised, you bring this up to Sam, pulling him away from the main room.

He regards your words but there's a storm of conflict behind his dark eyes. Edward keeps his attention partly on you and Sam as he speaks with Evita. Nadege has to shoo them out of the center of the room so that she could start making a fourth ward. Bella lingers behind her hesitantly, trying to pretend Edward's presence didn't bother her. Colin and Quil brush past them as their part of the close guard along with Paul. Those who would keep close in case Irina slipped through. "Theoretically, it's a good idea. But. . . you know how unpredictable imprinting can make you in the early weeks."

You nod. "I know. But we could really use everyone we have."

Exhausted, Sam rubs the back of his neck while he ponders. "Okay. Okay. I'll give him a call. I'll try Leah again too."

His small brick of a phone is clutched tightly in his hands already. He'd broken several others, this one lasting him the longest still possessed a cracked screen and a missing button. He goes down a small hallway where you knew his shared bedroom with Emily was. You catch her poking her head out as Sam whispers something to her. They close the door behind them, leaving everyone else to get to their own individual work.

Emily must be scared at this new threat to her and Sam's life. Now she was the lone, normal human among everyone. You'd caught her once listening in on Bella's lessons. She seemed a little embarrassed that she'd been caught.

"You okay?" Edward spooks you from the abruptness of his voice. His hand was reaching toward you as if he'd been about to place a hand on your arm. It hangs in the air between the two of you. You relax and move your body so that his hand firmly presses against your shoulder. Tentatively you touch his wrist. His lips twitch into a shy smile. Were you moving too fast? You didn't know if wrist touching was alright or too. . . intimate.

"Yeah. I'm okay. Sam is going to call Jacob and ask him to come. We could really use the extra help."

"Mr. Cullen?"

Dieufel stands in the doorway of the kitchen, hesitant to interrupt both of you.

Curious, Edward only takes a second to read his mind and understand what he was going to ask of him. "Of course I'll help. Just tell me what to do." He turns back to you, his smile returned as he basks in your touch for a moment more before peeling himself away. Dieufel doesn't move though as his gaze turns to you and Evita.

"Why don't the two of you come along with us. Evita, you need to work on your tracking spells right?" Dieufel reminds her. "This will be good practice for you." He doesn't wait for either of you to say anything as he walks back to his tent where most of his personal supplies are being kept. Off in the distance you could hear your packmates moving through the trees to sniff out any kind of vampire scent that didn't belong to the Cullens.

The sound their pounding paws made could be likened to thunder. That wolf part of you is pulled toward them, wanting to join the hunt. But your alpha told you to stay put, keep watch here. After all, Emily was still inside the house. Unable to protect herself. She needed whatever protection was left to offer her.

On the wooden picnic table that had white painting chipping off in flakes were the tools of Dieufel's trade. A shallow bowl made out of a purple crystal (possibly amethyst). Around the lip of it are etchings, similar to those you've seen already while hanging around Evita. With his back turned to them, Dieufel takes a vial from around his throat and unplugs the stopper. You wonder what it is but he gives no name to whatever silver liquid he pours into the gemstone vessel. Around it are four stumpy little candles supported by small holders. One brown, one red, one blue and one white.

"The time of day isn't ideal." Dieufel admits and glances up at the sky. "But we'll have to make do."

He beckons everyone closer, particularly Evita and Edward so that they could be of more use. Moving Edward so that he was now in front of the bowl, Dieufel explains that only Edward will be able to see the location of where Irina might be since he knows what she looks like and has been around her in the past few days. Her impression will be fresh upon him.

"Evita, my grimoire." It was on the edge she was closest to, a great leather bound book. Weather worn and near bursting. Evita lifts it up and before she could hand it to him, Dieufel flicks his wrist and the book opens in her hands. She suppresses a surprised yelp, watching as the pages fan open to the correct one that had the tracking spell. He hisses out another word that you don't quite catch but the stubby candles suddenly burst to life with little beacons of flames. Edward's eyes are wide as he has a front row seat.

Their magic was always amazing to witness.

"And what do we do next?" He probably knows this spell from memory, but he's also training Evita too.

She tries at first to recall it from memory, but in a second her eyes flick down to the yellow page. "Mugwort. Sprinkle mugwort on the surface." Already on it, Dieufel's dark hand pops open a plastic container with what looked like moss. You'd heard about the herb before, commonly used even on the reservation. Especially among the elders. He grabs a fistful and skillfully sprinkles it producing ripples on the liquid's surface. Each ripple starts to bleed a cosmic swirl of blue and purple as Dieufel murmurs something under his breath. "Next we'll need. . ." Evita looks to Edward "a piece of your hair."

Edward's brows quizzically raise but he's not one to ask questions of a witch and easily lifts his hand to his head, plucking a single strand. Offering it to Dieufel between pinched forefinger and thumb.

"Conjure up her image the best you can. Every facial detail, make it crystal clear in your mind. Focus. Don't lose it." He instructs once he has Edward's hair. Rubbing it between his fingers. "Ankhom tenebris vinculum"

Closing his eyes, you focus on Edward's face. Every twitch and movement behind his eyelids.

His hair is gently placed into the cosmic waters, stilling them and producing a soft, shimmering light. "If you have her in sight, slowly open your eyes and look into the bowl." Carefully with his hand on the nape of Edward's neck, Dieufel moves him so that his face is leaning directly over the surface.

Fluttering his eyelids lazily open, Edward takes a sharp inhale once they're fully open. "Wow. . ."

You try to see around them, hoping to catch a glimpse of whatever it was Edward was seeing. All you could make out was light dancing around the rim of the bowl. The runes glowing as Edward's eyes widen even more.

Apparently it doesn't take too long before Edward's found where Irina is for he hisses and nearly flings himself away from the picnic table with wild eyes. "Jacob. She's heading towards Jacob's."

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#reader insert #reader insert fanfiction #twilight fandom #twilight fanfiction #the twilight saga #twilight saga #twilight #edward cullen x you #edward cullen x reader #edward cullen fanfiction #edward cullen fanfic #edward cullen

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sydsaint · 2 months

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Weasley white boy, I love you <3

Summary: Jay sets his sights on finishing his collection of Billy Gunn's children. And it just so happens that Billy's daughter will be attending Austin's birthday.

Collision is around halfway through it's program. Max Caster is in a match against your brother, Colten Gunn. You, Anthony, and Billy are in Max's corner for the match. On the other side of the ring, Austin and Jay are in Colten's corner.

"You're still going out with us all for Austin's birthday, right, dad?" You ask Billy while the action in the ring isn't urgent.

"For a little while, yeah." Billy nods. "Your brother may be a backstabbing pain in the ass, but he's still my son." He sighs.

You pat your fathers arm sympathetically. "Awe, it'll be alright, dad." You attempt to comfort him. "Austin and Colten will come around eventually." You assure him.

Billy nods and smiles down at you, his last remaining loyal child. You'd never betray him like his ungrateful sons did. Billy can always count on you to be there for him.

On the other side of the ring, Jay watches you console your father intently. The wheels in his head turn as he begins formulating his master plan to complete his collection of Billy Gunn's kids.

"Austin, your sister is coming out with us later for your birthday, right?" Jay turns to Austin.

"Yeah, she said that she'd be there." Austin nods. "Why?"

Jay shrug and goes back to watching you from across the ring. "I was just wondering." He answers Austin.

In the ring, Colten manages to roll up Max and get the win. The bell rings so Jay and Austin hop into the ring to celebrate while your team retreats.

"YN! Baby! Are you tired of being on the losing team yet, darling?" Jay taunts you from inside the ring.

"Shove it up your ass, Jay!" You shout back at him with a scoff.

Jay chuckles and watches you retreat up the ramp with your father and The Acclaimed. These past couple of months he's been systematically wearing you down. He almost had you while BCG and The Acclaimed where teaming up for a few weeks. But you stayed with Billy when the group split. Much to Jay's dismay.

After Collision, everyone heads back to the hotel to change and get ready for Austin's bday celebration. You take a quick shower and decide to get all prettied up for the party since Colten told you that Austin invited a bunch of friends from work to the shindig. You throw on the only dress that you packed for the trip and do up your hair and makeup before meeting Billy in the lobby.

"YN! Hey, sweetie. You look...nice." Billy greets you in the hotel lobby.

"Thanks, dad." You laugh at his wide eyes. "Are you ready to go? Because I so need a drink right now."

Billy nods and the two of you head out to meet your brothers.

You arrive to the party and split up with Billy. He goes in search of Austin since he doesn't plan on staying out long, and you go in search of a drink and anyone you know from the show.

Your journey to find drinks comes to an end once you manage to find the bar. You saunter up to it and order yourself a light drink to start off your night.

Across the room, Jay finally spots you over at the bar after some casual searching. "Fucking hell." He mumbles to himself when he sees you leaned up against the bar.

"What's up?" Colten asks from next to him when he hears Jay's mumbling.

"You're sisters trying to kill me, mate." Jay replies and nods over to the bar.

Colten glances over at the bar briefly before sneering. "Oh, dude, ew." He gags and walks away from Jay.

Jay laughs and makes his way through the crowd and over to the bar. He comes to a stop a few feet away from you and signals for a drink before he speaks.

"Well well well." Jay smiles to himself. "Look who showed up to her brothers party looking all enticing. Who are you trying to impress, YN?" He catches your attention.

You turn to face Jay, drink sliding across the bar in your hand with you. The low light of the room makes the bastard look frustratingly hot. Especially now that he's wearing normal clothes instead of his usual garb.

"Jay." You greet him in a friendly manner. "You look...nice." You blink at him.

"Thank you." Jay grins. "But trust me sweetheart. When it comes to looks? You've got every shmuck in this building beat. Easily." He pays the compliment back and then some.

The unique illumination of the room does little to hide the blush on your cheeks at Jay's compliment. "What do you want? You silver-tongued weasel?" You ask him frankly.

"Silver-tongued?" Jay chuckles. "Oh, sweetheart, you've no idea how true that statement is." He winks at you.

You roll your eyes and pick up your drink. "You didn't answer my question." You remind him before pressing your glass to your lips.

"Forgive me. But it's not my fault that you are terribly distracting." Jay replies. "And to answer your question, darling. I want you." He licks his lips.

Your heart skips a beat in your chest and you set your glass down. You can see your dad talking with Austin across the room before Jay moves slightly and blocks your view.

"That's a bad idea, Jay." You shake your head.

"Is it?" Jay replies. "Because I'm not afraid to admit that I can't seem to get you out of my head." He admits. "Which is quit a feat, I must admit."

You watch Jay's hand move from the bar and inch towards your face. He gently brushes a stray piece of hair behind your ear before giving your chin a small nudge so you're looking directly at him now. "And I know you think about me. So don't even try and deny it." He adds.

"Austin! Hey! Happy Birthday to my second favorite brother!" You jump away from Jay suddenly when Austin walks over to the bar.

"Awe, thanks, YN. Wait! Second favorite?" He adds after a moment.

You laugh and hug your brother. "You heard me." You tease him. "You having fun tonight?" You ask.

"I'm having a blast, yeah." Austin laughs. "What about you? You and Jay look cozy over here." He comments.

You glance over at Jay, cheeks heating up in embarrassment. "Your friend is very persistent, Austin. I'll give him that." You admit. "And he's not that bad looking, I guess."

"Well, I'll let the two of you get back to talking then." Austin nods and pats Jay on the back gently. "Don't forgot to have some fun dork." He adds and ruffles your hair as he walks off. "Even if it is with that tool."

You roll your eyes and shake your head as Austin saunters off. Once he's out of your line of sight you turn back around to Jay.

"Can I get you another drink?" Jay asks you.

"Sure, why not?" You bite the inside of your lip.

Jay orders the two of you another round of drinks and you turn around to watch the crowd again for a moment. You see Billy talking with someone from the show across the room and guilt hits you like a truck again.

What the hell are you doing?

You turn back to Jay and he hands you a drink. The two of you knock back your drinks at the same time before setting them both down onto the bar with a 'clink'

"Thanks." You fidget with your glass, letting the alcohol slide down your throat and whittle away at your judgment bit by bit.

You and Jay sit and chat for a while. Nothing serious. Just a casual conversation between two friends, or rather, acquaintances. But as the night drags on and you share a few more drinks with the men that manipulated your brothers into leaving the family, he stares to reel you in with his charms.

"I think that we've celebrated your brother enough for one night." Jay's hand lingers on yours under the bar and out of sight of the crowd. His hand trails up and down your arm gently, a suggestive grin on his face. "Why don't the two of us get out of here?"

"Alright, but just one night, Jay. Just one." You nod.

Jay intertwines his hand with yours and stands up. He pulls you off your barstool and into his side where he slings an arm over you in a possessive manner. Jay leads you through the crowd of people still lingering about and toward the door.

"YN?" Billy catches a glimpse of you tucked under Jay's arm just as he's letting his sons know that he's heading out for the night.

"Hmm, what's up dad?" Colten replies from Billy's side.

Billy turns back to his son. "Nothing. It's fine." He shakes his head. "Be safe tonight. I'll talk to you and your brother tomorrow, alright?"

"Yeah, okay, dad." Colten nods.

The next morning you are woken up by the sound of running water. You yawn and rub the sleep from your eyes before rising into a sitting position. "Hmm." You hum and stretch your arms above your head.

"Wow! Now that's a sight that I could get used to." Jay appears in the doorway of the bathroom.

"What?" You reply with another yawn, only to realize that you're not wearing a shirt.

You quickly lower your arms and cover your chest, earning a chuckle from Jay. "Oh, come on now." He teases you and bends down to grab his shirt off the floor. "I think that I got a good enough look at you last night, darling." He tosses the shirt at you.

"Whatever." You mumble to yourself and slip the shirt over your head.

Jay walks over to the bed and sits down on the side closest to you. "Need any help getting up?" He asks you. "You know, if I had to guess from last night, I'd imagine that your legs are pretty sore today, yeah?" He teases you.

"Ugh! I hate you! Smug bastard." You cover your face with your arms in embarrassment.

Jay chuckles and leans over you, propped up with one arm to your side. He uses his free hand to move your arms out of the way and grins at you. "You look adorable when you're all embarrassed." He teases you.

You roll your eyes again and set a hand on Jay's chest. "This was a one time thing, remember?" You remind him of your agreement last night.

"Was it, though?" Jay replies and leans down for a kiss.

"It was." You mumble against his lips.

Jay lifts his head back up to look at you. "Well what about the day?" He asks you. "You didn't say anything about the day."

You sigh and hook an arm around the back of Jay's neck. "That's true." You admit. "But's it's a bad idea."

"Eh, I've never been known to make good decisions when beautiful women are involved." Jay shrugs before leaning back down for another kiss.

'Neither have I.' You think to yourself. 'Thank god dad doesn't know about this.'

#wrestling #aew #all elite wrestling #aew fanfiction #aew fanfic #aew fic #aew x reader #jay white #jay white x reader #switchblade jay white #wrestling fanfiction #wrestling fanfic #wrestling fic #syd's wrestling fics

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ase-trollplays · 4 months

Text

--chronicallyMousy [CM] began trolling sandstormHuntress [SH]--

CM: ...hello corali... (//:3 ...how have you been?...

SH: Eh, I been better, I guess. Some fucking

SH: Coward ass chicken shit's been leaving threats at my hive.

CM: ...what???...

SH: It ain't nothing to worry about. I ain't scared a nobody that can't threaten me to my face. Little annoying notes ain't gonna intimidate me none.

CM: ...corali... maybe you s-should take this s-seriously... ...did you upset or hurt anyone recently?...

SH: Just the usual rowdy drunks at the Jackhammer and the troll whose arm I snapped in half a perigee back for stabbing me.

CM: ...do you think its him?... )//:3

SH: Unless he wants me to snap every bone in his body, it better not be.

SH: He's been banned from the bar, and I ain't seen him since then.

SH: Fucker knows he can't take me in a fight, so he's trying to scare me.

CM: ...do you think a legislacerator might help you?...

SH: Are y'all kidding? Legis don't give a shit about lowbloods unless they're arresting, beating, or putting us on trial.

SH: I might as well ask my pa for help for all the good a legi will do.

CM: ...i just dont want you getting hurt... ...what if they escalate things?... ...if they already know where you live... and your hive isnt that easy to find or get to... imagine what else they must know... D//:3

SH: Don't y'all worry your pretty little head. There ain't a troll on Alternia that can scare me. You've seen your mate, and you know me and him go at it like pit fighters and he ain't killed or seriously hurt me yet aside from the occasional broken bone.

CM: ...but danny fights fair... ...whoever this is probably wont... and you might get killed or worse!...

SH: I'm telling y'all it's fine. Everything's gonna be fine.

CM: ... )//':3

SH: Ah come on, don't make little crying faces at me.

SH: It's

SH: Fine.

SH: I promise on my sobriety I can handle whatever the fuck's going on.

CM: ...just call me and check in every night for the next perigee... ...if i dont hear from you... im coming out there...

SH: Alright, if it'll make you feel better, fine. Expect to hear from me tomorrow.

CM: ...thank you... (//:3

CM: ...have you told darius?...

SH: Of course not. She's got better things to worry about, like her dress shop.

CM: ...darius is using s-she/her again?...

SH: Yeah, says it feels "right." Whatever, I ain't gonna judge her. She's my kiddo no matter what she calls herself.

CM: ...im trying to think of how to better explain gender to varoll... ...s-she only knows about cisgender boys and girls...

CM: ...and i told her that s-sometimes boys and girls look different than you expect... and s-someone you think is a boy is really a girl... and vice versa...

CM: ...but im not s-sure how to explain people that are transgender... or arent a binary gender at all...

SH: Eh, you're overthinking it. Kids will take whatever you tell them pretty much at face value.

CM: ...varoll isnt like that... though... ...not at her age... ...s-she wants to know everything in detail... and all the hows and whys...

CM: ...if i tell her that s-some people are just 'like that'... s-she might not accept that as an answer...

CM: ...but i dont know any other way to explain other genders to her...

SH: Dar's genderweird. Just scoot Varoll her way.

SH: Get her answers right from the hoofbeast's mouth. She's the one who taught me all this gender shit in the first place.

SH: I ain't gonna say I'm an expert, but I know enough. I'm sure she'd love to talk about it.

CM: ...are you s-sure?... ...i dont want to put that on her and make her feel like s-she has to...

SH: Trust me, Dar'll leap at the chance.

CM: ...okay... ...it would be a really big help...

CM: ...hows work?...

SH: Same shit different night.

SH: Throwing out people starting fights or getting handsy or giving the bartender a little too much lip.

CM: ...i really wish you would work s-somewhere else... ...im worried with you constantly being around alcohol and people drinking...

SH: Have some faith in me. It's been, what.

SH: Seven perigees now since I quit? And I haven't had a drop. I'm still going to AA, and I got you and Dar and Arri for support.

SH: Ain't nothing gonna make me blow this.

SH: I invite the universe to fucking try it. Can't be done.

CM: ...please dont tempt the universe... D//:3

SH: Y'all know I'm just messing. ;)

SH: Anyw

CM: ...corali?...

--sandstormHuntress [SH] is an idle chum--

CM: ...im going to call you...

--chronicallyMousy [CM] gave up trolling sandstormHuntress [SH]--

#pesterlogs #chronicallyMousy #sandstormHuntress #casually sets up future events #Roll With The Punches

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lovely-echoo · 3 years

Text

Sleepy Bois Inc x FranBow!Reader

In-game AU

Part 1/? Pt.2

Plantonic!SBI x Young!Reader

(10/11 years old)

OneShot/Drabble(?)

Genderneutral reader (they/them) 💜

INFO; If you haven't played or seen game play of Fran Bow then you can skip this if you'd like. If you don't care then go ahead.

Summary; Basically if you've seen/played the game you should know how this goes, you take place of Fran. So you go/went through the same things she did and you still have Mr. Midnight. This takes place while Fran is still in the mental hospital and then got teleported near the SBI.

Honestly I kept thinking about this but was afraid to request it to anyone so I'm doing it my myself-

If I get any info wrong, I'm sorry! I rewatched Markiplier's game play so it shouldn't be way off.

P.s not everything is described the same.

(^ art by sunquids on twt)

CW/TW: mentions/includes of cussing, gore, death, blood, consumption of medication, sexual assault (brief mentions of Damian/The King)

Fluff/Normal

(Angst if you squint)

How you ended up there - How you met Philza and Technoblade

As you were walking around the hospital, you decided to take a pill to see if it'll help.

You watched as your vision blurred and some sort of demonic noises rang in your ears.

After a few seconds your vision cleared up, you took a look around the front desk.

The once dull and lifeless room had turned into this even duller and just plain deathly like room.

Blood was everywhere, random body parts of babies where thrown around. A skeletal figure was hung with what looked like an umbilical cord wrapped around its thin bones, it was connected to this baby covered by a blue blanket.

Just about everything looked grotesque.

Suddenly the floor ahead of you opened and this slimy black tentacle like arm grabbed you by the waist and pulled you in.

It seemed you may have passed out during your fall because you woke up to the sounds of hissing and supposedly two men.

Oh and let's not forget the killer headache causing the ringing in your ears. :)

You rubbed your eyes as you sat up, the light around you seemed much brighter than before.

You looked at the two men in front of you and then glanced down, you spotted Mr. Midnight!

His fur was spiked up and his ears were flat against his head. He seemed to be trying to protect you from the men.

Ignoring their presence you immediately scooped up your precious fur baby in your arms.

Your mind completely forgot about the fact there are two strange looking men in front of you.

A few droplets of water dripped down your (S/C) cheeks onto your (F/C) shirt/dress.

You started crying, so much happened in a short period of time and you found your cat you oh so desperately tried to find.

It panicked one of the adults. Said adult was an average tall man with slightly longer blond hair than average, he also had a green and white striped bucket hat. But what stuck out the most was the large pair of wings behind his back.

At first you thought that it was your pills fault but everywhere around you looked….

Normal?

It seemed like your meds wore off while you supposedly passed out.

But that doesn’t help or ease you at all. If the side effects wore off then how the hell did he have wings?!

The blond walked towards you slowly, like you were an injured puppy. His blue eyes roamed around your body, as if studying your every mouvements.

The other man who was beside him earlier seemed to tense up and looked at him as if he grew another head. He was on edge you assumed.

But he looked even weirder to you. He had long pink hair tied into a loose braid falling over his shoulder. Was it natural? He also had tusks peeking out from his bottom lip, they were large but not enough to be in the way. His skin seemed to be on the pinker side, it was roughed up with scars and calloused in certain areas. You noticed he had pig ears poking out his crown. Is he a king of sorts? Wait, that reminds you of someome... Oh! The king of course!

Ah yes, the king. You quite missed him actually, he was playful and let you use his cane- sword to get a key. But he didn't know about that part. You wonder if he's doing alright right know, the asylum sucks. And the shadow thing next to him said weird things to. Who exactly is the holy man? Why'd the shadow say he took off his clothes?

You couldn't dwell on it to much as you got distracted by the approaching man.

He reached out his hand to stop the winged male. “Phil-”

But the man named ‘Phil’ interrupted the crowned male by putting up his hand. He stopped his hand and let it limp to his side.

“It’s alright Tech, they seem harmless.” ‘Phil’ reassured, though ‘Tech’ nodded his head with a stern expression. There was still hesitance in his sharp red eyes.

‘Phil’ took the same hand he put up and reached it out to you. A soft and kind look in his eyes, you could’ve gotten lost in them if you weren’t careful.

“You alright there kid?” He asked, crouching down to meet your height from where you sat.

“Y-yeah, I think so…” You winced, your throat was hoarse and dry. You peered at ‘Phil’ as he took out this glass bottle with what you assumed was water.

He handed you the fragile bottle, he saw the look of hesitance in your childlike eyes. But something about them set off alarms in his head, they were dull. There’s nothing wrong with that of course! But they were too dull, at least for a mere kid.

He recognized a glint of trauma in your (Eye Shape) eyes, those beautiful (E/C) orbs had seen something they shouldn’t have. Haven’t they?

“Don’t worry mate, it’s fresh water.” He examined the way you handled the cork, you were inexperienced. He could tell you’ve never needed to do it, but why? It’s really the only way so far to keep water with you.

Did you not have any?

While he was lost in thought, you just had noticed he had an accent of sorts. Nothing wrong with it, you've just never heard of someone with it.

(^ Ignore that if you are british)

While the winged male was off in his own world the piglin hybrid watched as you sniffed the clear liquid in suspicion before letting your cat smell it as if you were looking for their approval.

To his surprise they did give it to you, the black cat nodded it’s head and squeaked out a meow. That strangely sounded like a yes- but he dismissed the thought. Probably was just the voices fucking with him.

You gulped down the water as if you hadn’t had any for months.

‘Why tf are they so desperate-’ ‘lowkey kinda concerned lmao’ ‘they look like they’d be an orphan tho’ ‘lmao maybe’ ‘idc about the kid, i want the cat’ ‘absolutely-’ ‘Nah fuck the cat, im allergic.’ ‘lol and?’ 'PFT ANY ASKERS???'

Those were all different voices speaking and overlapping each other.

Technoblade sighed as he glanced at his father, he knew him on the back of his hand. He let him be and slowly walked next to Phil and kneeled down.

“What’s your name kid?” he asked, taking the empty bottle you had handed him. “(Y/n), (Y/n) (L/n)/Bow.” You bluntly answered, looking at him in the eyes. He noticed how bloodshot they were, I mean you did cry not even 5 minutes ago.

"What's yours?" You questioned tilting your head a bit in the process.

Unbeknownst to you, some voices in a certain someone's head were losing their shit, squealing and chanting ‘protecc tiny bean’ over and over again.

"The name's Technoblade, but you can call me Techno." Strange name in your book but your not the one to judge. You simply nodded your head in acknowledgement.

"That guy is Philza, but you can call him Phil." He pointed his thumb to the unfocused man. Technoblade or Techno- cleared his throat.

“You’ve got somewhere to stay? Where are your parents?” “Why can’t you mind your business?”

Techno’s eyes twitched in annoyance and his teeth clenched to hold back any crude words.

Although he noticed the flash of pain in those dull (E/C) orbs of the mentions of your parents.

He sighed once again, something you noticed he did a lot. At least, so far he did.

“Look kid, do you have a place to stay or not?”

And that's how you ended up meeting your new family. . . <3

I may include a taglist if anyone's up to be tagged lmao

#mcyt x reader #platonic x reader #tommy innit x y/n #technoblade x reader #philza x reader #wilbur x reader #sleepy bois inc x reader #sbi x reader #fluff #mcyt #fran bow #franbow!reader #reader as fran bow #mr. midnight #cat #tiny bit of angst #only if you squint tho

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wellbafineline · 4 years

Text

official

(1.7k) / feedback! / other writings!

a.n. hiii, this is my first full length fic, no one asked for this but this is the concept that i’ve been daydreaming about so here you go :) hope you enjoy and feedback is always appreciated <3

how you and harry make things official

You'd been ‘seeing’ Harry for about 3 months, he’d been introduced to you by your mutual friends in London. The only thing was, you weren't really together, not as far as you were concerned at least. Your and Harry's relationship was seemingly casual, you hooked up, slept over at each other's places, ordered take out and watched shitty reality tv every Friday night while complaining about your shitty weeks at work (after hearing about her for three months he’d began to really hate Rachel from your office) and most other things people in relationships did. Just you guys did it without the labels and strings.

And you'd had no problem with that at first, you understood. He was busy, wasn't always around, or had the most reliable schedule. But as you approached 4 months of whatever you and Harry had going on, you started to get more questions from both of your friends about the more intimate and logistical details of your relationship. You had begun to get pretty good at getting around them or changing the subject, but that didn't mean the nagging feeling in your gut went away when they asked.

That's exactly what's happening currently, you’d gone out with your two best friends to a bar in the city. They’d been begging for a catch up for a week, but you'd been at Harry's for the week because he wanted ‘all the time he could get’ before he had to go to LA for a couple of weeks to put finishing touches on his album.

But now you were all squished together into a tiny booth in the corner of the bar, and you were listening to your friend Lindsey complain about the new project she was doing in work and how it was way below her pay grade when Destiny jumps in when she’s finished turning herself to face you

‘So, how’s your boyfriend’ she asked you. Knowing she emphasized the ‘boyfriend’ to get you to spill if you and Harry made it official yet you sighed.

‘He's not my boyfriend, you know that, no strings’

‘Yeah I know that, but I also know you’re delusional. You just spent a week straight at his house and you're both not seeing other people so… what's the harm in labeling it.’ she trailed off ‘do you want that with him?’ Lindsey asks when you don't start talking

‘Of course, I want that, at least think I do, just what we've got going on is good, y’know, there's no pressure on it and it's easy’ you sigh ‘plus he’s Harry and there's a lot more that comes with being in a relationship with him than just anyone else’

‘So find someone else, no drama, sorted,’ Lindsey says ‘no-i- that's not what I meant, just meant it'll be harder’ ‘have to ask yourself if this is what you want, you two can't go on like this forever’ she explains ‘And if it is, talk to him, now backing out this time, ‘cause you said you were gonna talk to him about this like a month ago too.’

‘I know, and i will, promise this time, but he's gone for a couple of weeks anyway don't want to do it over facetime so it'll have to wait till he's home’

After your meet up with Lindsey and Destiny you spent a lot more time than you probably should've thinking about what to do, about you, about harry and about your relationship with harry, if you can even call it that.

He gets back from LA on Friday now, it was your plan to go over to his house, order take out, watch a film or help him unpack like you two always do when he gets back from long periods away because he ‘missed you the most and needs to see you asap.’

But this time you were going to talk to him, no chickening out.

You’d agreed to meet Harry at his place on Friday, you finished work around 3pm and he wasn't going to be home till at least 7 maybe 8pm. But you went over anyway letting yourself in with a key he gave you about a month ago saying ‘f’ emergencies love, or when your flat mate’s getting on your fuckin’ nerves’.

Truthfully you didn’t know what you were going to do at Harry's for 4-ish hours alone but you figured it was better than sitting anxiously at home or at your desk at work. At least it gave you time to think, make a plan of action, because as you'd realised sometime in the past two weeks, there was a very real chance that this was all Harry wanted, that this is where you’d end. Because there was no way you could lay it all out for him just to go back to glorified friends with benefits.

Leaving your coat and work bag at the door when you arrived, you make your way to his kitchen to make some tea before getting comfortable on the couch in the living room, appreciating what you assume is the calm before the storm.

At around 7pm, exactly when he promised, you hear a car pull up the driveway and what can only be Harry's heavy footsteps in the hallway. ‘Love, you here, got taken away on the way home’ he called out as you got up to go meet him in the kitchen.

‘Mm, missed you’ you reached up to peck his cheek ‘but I missed this more’ as you started taking the containers out of the take out bag ‘but I missed this more’

‘Heyyy!, not true and you know it.’

‘Yeah, keep telling yourself that.’

‘C’mon, jus’ shut up and eat.’

You’d been like this for a few hours. He was laying on the couch with you on top of him. Your head on his chest, with the tv playing in the background. Harry was drifting off to sleep, jetlag finally catching up to him but you were wide awake. Sighing a bit too loudly and moving to get up you suddenly felt a pair of hands gripping to your waist.

‘Where y’ goin’ love’ Harry murmurs, his eyes still closed. ‘Just to get some water, go back asleep.’ You answered him but he didn't let go of you leaving you sat in his lap with you looking up at you from his position laying down.

‘Are y’ alright, seem, um, stiff’ He questioned, you could tell he knew something was off and he was harry so he probably wouldn't give up till you told him, so now or never you thought. No chickening out.

‘um, Harry, I've, um, been meaning to talk to you about this for a while’ You started, pausing after to properly think of how to do this, you hadn't thought it’d go like this in your head. You thought it’d be in his kitchen maybe bedroom but definitely not when you were basically straddling him on the couch.

His voice interrupted your thoughts, prompting you to carry on ‘C’mon spit it out love, what's wrong.’

‘Nothings wrong, well I don't think anything wrong, i- just. Harry what are we?’ You finally just ripped the bandage off, thinking there was no point to really skip around it.

‘Oh, well,’ he paused. ‘We're us.’

‘No, H, I mean are we like, together’

‘Where's this comin’ from love’ as he started to stroke your thigh feeling that you were starting to back away from him, as much as you could at least.

‘Just, y’know, friends, people, are asking. We've been doing this for a while, H, bound to come up at some point’

‘Well, what do you want to do about it then, have t’ tell me, not a mind reader love.’ He chuckled.

‘Are we together, or I don't know can we be.’ After everything you’d done together, he still seems to make you nervous, both butterflies from being giddy and deathly terrified of his answer.

His reaction to that was not what you expected at all his face erupted into one of the biggest smiles you've ever seen him wear. ‘Like boyfriend and girlfriend?’ He grins at you

‘Yeah, I guess, yeah like boyfriend and girlfriend.’ You’d moved back to lay on him, and now your face was buried in his neck, even with the smile on his face the still small chance that this was the end was still eating at your nerves.

Harry sat up suddenly, with you now sitting in his lap he tightened his arms around your waist almost as if he knew you'd try to squirm out of his grasp, and tried to coax you to look at him.

‘Y’ askin me yo be ya boyfriend, babe?’ he's got a shit-eating grin on his face now and that's exactly the reaction you needed for the weight of rejection to be lifted off of you.

‘Guess I am, what's your answer.’

‘No no no, never actually asked me did ya can’t answer if y’ don't ask’

‘You're really making me do this h?’ You stared and raised your eyebrows at him.

‘Yeah, c’mon love thought there was somethin’ you wanted to ask me.’ You could tell he was enjoying this, and you tried to completely let your guard down and play along.

‘Okay, will you, Harry Styles, do me the honour of being my boyfriend?’ your voice was dripping with sarcasm but you both knew what you were asking was sincere.

‘Thought you’d never ask babe’ he said while his hand cupped your jaw moving your face to finally kiss you.

As you pulled away he was smiling at you, bigger than you’d seen him smile for a while. ‘Think I'm gonna be good at this boyfriend thing, don't you?’

‘Yeah I do’ you sighed as he lay back on the couch where you guys were sitting. You had your arms wrapped around his waist as he was tracing up and down your back. You really couldn’t remember what you were so nervous about 3 hours ago.

#harry styles blurb #harry styles x reader #harry styles fic #harry styles imagine #harry styles concept #harry blurb #harry fic #harry imagine #harry concept #boyfriend!harry #my writing

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nims91 · 3 years

Text

Nathan Drake x Fem-Reader! Pt.2

Takes place in uncharted 2: among thieves, just when Nate and Sully come out from the underground tomb, and chloe runs off only to come back with Flynn and some soldiers.

Nates POV

I watch as Chloe runs ahead to look out for any of Lazarevics men. "You wanna give me a hand, Nate?" Sully calls from below. I turn to him and reach down, helping him out and standing to his feet again. "This way!" I hear a man yell from the distance. "Oh goddamn it." Sully sighs. "C'mon." I say quickly heading for the opening archway. "Harry! In here!" Chloe yells as she enters, having a gun pointed at me. "It's Drake." She yells back to Harry. "What the hell-?" I start to say before she interrupts me. "Get your hands up!" She demands. I shake my head and do as she says. Sully doing the same. "You sure know how to pick 'me." Sully states. "Shut up Sully." I quickly say as Harry and some guards come up behind Chloe. "Should've know it was you." Harry speaks as he comes up to me. His British accent coming through. "And you. Victor 'goddamn' Sullivan. You still dragging this tired old sack of shit around?" He chuckles. I let my hands drop and step up to him. Sully gets in between us. "Easy Nate." He says. My blood was boiling. I glared daggers at him in pure anger. "That's pretty ballsy for a guy who spent the last three months behind bars." Harry states looking from me to Sully. "Better than pissing away three months in the jungle with out a clue." I spat at him in an annoyed tone. He was pissing me off. "Found the ship's, though, didn't I?" He speaks confidently. "You couldn't find your own ass with both hands." I state before Sully jumps in. "And a map." Harry sighs slightly annoyed. "They came from down there." Chloe now says as she comes up to search me. Chloe pulls out the document that leads right to Shambhala. Or the next step at least. "Speaking of maps." Harry cockily says looking at it. "Between India and Tibet... one temple will reveal a-" he slowly reads. "Pathway to Shambhala. Jesus Flynn, while we're young." I finish for him. "Oh now. Dont be such a bad sport." He pouts sarcastically. "Take them to Lazarevic." He folds up the document in his hands. "You're gonna wish you stayed in prison mate." He says before making his way to the opening in the ground. "Move." Chole sternly says. I walk forward, Sully walking beside me. Two guards join us at our sides. "C'mon keep moving." One of the guards shouts, shoving me forward. Then Chloe knocks one of the guards in the head before turning to face the second one who shoots at her, a bullet grazing her arm. Sully quickly grabs his gun before Chloe shoots him then turning to the first guy shooting him. "Ah shit." She says holding her arm. "Are you alright?" I ask walking up to her. "Yeah well, it'll make it look more believable. Now, I'm going to try and buy you some time." Chloe grabs the dagger handing it to me. "Chloe you have to come with us." I state to her. "No." She give me a kiss on the lips. I could just melt into it forever but just at that thought she pulls away. "Just meet me in Nepal. Now run." Chloe states before making her way back to the others. "Let's go." I state and start to run off with Sully. "I like her." He speaks very enthusiastically. "Yeah I bet you do." I shake my head chuckling softly.

We quickly run around the corner before I take a look back. I quickly look in front of me again and stop abruptly seeing a women in front of me. She stops abruptly too stumbling slightly. She looked up at me almost immediately. "Y/n?" I ask in absolute shock. "Nathan, nice to see you too." She spat in an annoyed tone. "Well sorry to cut this reunion short, but I'll be taking this and be on my way." She says in the same tone before quickly grabbing the purba dagger and making her way quickly down the path. "Hey! I shout and run after her. Gun shots ring out and I start to run faster, Y/n still in front of us.

Your POV

You quickly made your way up the path towards the archway you seen about an hour ago from a different spot in the jungle. You looked down slightly at your watch before you quickly looked back up almost to run into someone. You look up immediately at the face and smirked, chuckling sarcastically. "Nathan, nice to see you too." You voice dripping with annoyance. "Well sorry to cut this reunion short, but I'll be taking this and be on my way." You speak in the same annoyed tone before running down the path you just came from. You heard Nate call out to you but didnt look back. They started running as gun shots rung out. You could see the small gap up ahead with nowhere else to go. "Adios asshole." You yell back at him before jumping of the cliff and into the water.

You panted hard as you pulled yourself onto land still having the purba dagger. You panted hard. Not a second later the sound of water splash was heard. You look over to see the two men crawling out of the river. You were not impressed. "So now your following me?" You scoff and shake your head. "Y/n, what the hell are you doing here alive?" Nate asks you, as he walks up to you. "Searching for Shambhala." You state. "But I watched you die. I watched you get shot." He shakes his head. "Well after that doctors patched me up. Then I escaped, about 3 months ago, giver take." You explain coldly. "Why didnt you come back for me or sam?" You ask sadly. He looks up to you and shakes his head. "What do you mean? I checked everywhere. Everyone said you were dead." He confessed. "Well they told me you hated me and never wanted to see again. That I was worthless to you. Every single day for around the past 10ish years." You shout slightly. He sighs and shakes his head. He stops and looks at you. "Is Sam alive?" He asks. "I dont know. After the attempt we pulled escaping and killing Vargus, Most of my time was spent in the hole. Only got to go out when everyone was in their cell. Didnt see anyone." You sigh. You then start to walk away. "Hey hey hey, where are you going?" Nate asks. "To go to Tibet and find Shambhala." You state. "So that's it. This is all were gonna talk about?" He runs up to you. "What's there to talk about?" You got two girls tied to your hip. Chloe and Elena, was it?" You ask cockily and annoyed. "Wait you dont understand.." Nate try's to says. "Oh I understand it all, hotel security is always a joy." You says. Nate slightly freezes knowing now that you seen him in Chloe back at the beach. "Look Nate. I dont wanna be made at you but, I am, okay." You say. "Now I'll shall head on my way.

The journey continues. You went to Tibet. Ran into Nate again. Decided to team up. Run into Elena. Then go rescue Chloe. Almost die on a train, multiple times. Finally get to the steps of Shambhala and have to run for your lives. You get to the temple and see the supposedly, chintamani stone. It was magnificent. "Wait this isnt sapphire. Its resin." Nate states. I look at him confused then around the temple to see a tree. "You've got to be kidding me." I state walking to the other side of the temple. "Y/n!" Nate yells and sighs "It's not a sapphire. It's a metaphor. That's the chintamani stone." You point to this humorous tree. You shake you head and sigh walking back into the temple. You look and see Harry limping, holding a grenade. You stopped in you tracks not wanting to have him pull that pin. You were to focused on the grenade to here them speak. You watched as he pulled the pin. You gasped and went to retreat only to feeling unimaginable pain run through your entire body. Everything was fuzzy, from words to sight to speaking. You feel your body being pulled up and lean against someone you imagine is Chloe. "I have to end this." Nates voice rings in your ear. "No you cant." You wince. "I just only got you back. I cant loose you again." You state before he gave you a kiss on the head. "I'll come back I promise. Chloe get her out of here." You whimpered and hissed at the pain before crying slightly. "C'mon deary, you can do it." Chloe encourages you.

You dont know when and how but somehow you showed up at the steps of Shambhala. She rests you down on a slab of rock and sighs. You let out another whimper. "I know I know, it'll be all over soon." Chloe speaks. Your drifting in and out of consciousness. Your open your eyes and see Nate, but a blurry version of him. Hes talking to Chloe and then looking at you and then too Chloe. "Its alright. Your gonna be alright. Your good, alright." Nate says as he combs your hair back to perfect. You finally close your eyes and darkness consumes you.

Days and days would go by as you laid there in bed. Some days were worst then others. Especially when you had to get the shards of the grenade out that was embedded in you skin. Soon as days went by, you got better. You sighed as you sat up wincing slightly. You stood up and put on some clothes before heading to the door. Sully stepped in front of you before you got outside. "Sully, I swear if you dont let me outside, I will shoot you in the leg." You chuckled and he shook his head. "Fine." You linked your arm with his as he helped you down the steps and towards Nathan. He turned to you and smiled brightly. "Shes one hell of a patient." Sully spoke making you chuckle. You switched arms from Sully to Nate. "Ah which way did Chloe go." He asked. Nate shook his head as he pointed in the direction. "Your a dirty old man Sully." You yelled out to him. You and Nate then started walking towards the grass patch under a tree that showed a beautiful veiw. "So about that vacation?" You asked. "We're still going to do it." He looks at you. "Mmhm sure." You smiled. "I promise." He spoke softly making you face him. "You better." You smirk and he sighs in defeat. "Come here." He shakes his head as he pulls you into a passionate kiss. You smile into the kiss and when he breaks off, you rest your head on his shoulder. "So on a scale of one to ten, how scared were you that I was gonna die." You asked. "A three." He spoke blankly. "A three?" You ask and he nods. "You were so an eight." You chuckled. "An eight, those guardian things were an eight." He confesses. "Then what's a 10?" You asked him shocked. "Clowns." You scoffed and shook your head. "Clowns, over my death?" You ask. "Wow" he smiles. "Ok I'll give you a four." He gives in a little. "You though I was gonna die." You say. "No I didnt." You smile now. "Yes you were bawling." You chuckle. "I was not. Its was raining, you were unconscious." He defends. "It was sunny and you were crying. I have your tears in a jar." You state. You both laugh and smile as you watch the sunrise.

This is part one if you havent read that yet. I suggest you read it first.

#nadine ross #chloe frazer #elena fisher #sam drake #nathan drake #oneshots #x reader #uncharted 4 #uncharted #uncharted 2

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shiro-0197 · 3 years

Note

God no I'm sorry 😭😭😭 the way Tumblr eats all my drafts, and now your replies. (Someday I'm gonna eat Tumblr grrrr) that must've been so frustrating tho, I'm sorry love.

someday we could go to a country with Highlands together. It'll be super cold and nice. And the views would be really really pretty too!! WE COULD EVEN BE AMONGST THE CLOUDS >//< aww yes I hope you'll be able to try them soon in the future!! I died and had to stay in bed for an hour, (because my spice tolerance is nonexistent <3) but yeah I'm better now! Name is: "대박 ghost pepper noodles" the Korean word 대박 literally translates to "awesome" but— 😭😭

oh I see!! I hope school goes well, it's good that you're excused for a part of the day :D and aww I understand. Replying can be lengthy sometimes, so please please only do it when you're free and comfortable >:(( we're in no rush, after all :D

I was studying earlier too. and I texted my principal about the exams ( because apparently none of my teachers know anything about it, and I was so frustrated with everyone being so clueless ) she just replied with a : "hi Ariana, will let you know on Friday" like excuse me, ma'am. GRRRRR >:( STOP BEING CLUELESS.

awww that's okay!! I'm sure those prep slides were really pretty too :D aww that's sweet of you. some of my online friends sometimes sit in on my Leo events (if it's open to everyone) and it's pretty fun when they do (once, one of them had to talk for like, an activity and my club mates were like "SHE HAS AN ACCENT??". It was hilarious hehe) zoom is great for that reason, and only that. they're just ready-made slides tbh, I use canva :D

Shiro, love, you won't disappoint anyone, I promise you that. I'm sure your mom is more proud than you know, and from the way you talk about her, I can tell that she truly adores you. tho I also understand your worries. If you want to rant or anything, you know I'm here. And I'll just continuously reassure you of how amazing you are :)

that's my boy 🥺🥺 grr, you're so feisty, please imagine me holding a "you go, Shiro" sign everytime you tell someone to fuck themselves :D Laurent is indeed amazing. He's my favourite character for that exact reason >//< there's another character, from a book I read, just like that. His name was uhh, Kieran. And he knew so many different languages, and was just in general; super smart. I remember being so in love with him when I first read it (The title of the book is "genius")

HAHA. ikr. They're all hot, and most importantly; smart. nevermind, when I meet you someday we can cry over them together 😭🤚 pffft no offense, but being evil is hot sometimes 😾 (I mean, Kieran was evil. So's Moriarty :] and I am: a simp for them all)

aww bae that's okay 🥺🥺 your feelings are valid, and it's not wrong to express them whenever you feel like it. Grrr if I ever see your dad, he might be missing a limb >:( sorry, that was violent, but I get especially mad if anyone upsets someone i love )

exactly?? It's been a year?? Where's that blink meme where someone blinks and it's suddenly 2021. Oooh that sounds really nice!! Adding it on my list of things to try in March >.< Honey is really delicious. especially all those desserts which have a lot of them.

glad I made you laugh >////< grr my sense of humour is just so weird tho, so I'm glad you aren't freaked out by it.

KAJDKSJSKS SIR WAIT. There was an explanation for that u but I guess it got cut off in my notes 😾😾 IT WAS MEANT TO BE A Ü (smiley) but I was using my computer and I couldn't add the two dots above, so I typed "imagine the eyes" (but apparently that part got cut off and now it just looks like a random alphabet SKJSKSK IM SORRY 😭😭😭

I understand, the lack of opportunities can really get on one's nerves. But oh yes, Japan and Norway are beautiful countries. Apart from Japan, I've been really into Korea and Switzerland. The Alps 😻

grrr y'all have tough exteriors. But it's so rewarding when you finally get them down, tho I think, you guys have tons of other layers to yourselves. I guess that's just the charm, I find it endearing, because it just means there's a lot more than meets the eye :)

MY FRIEND MAKES FUN OF ME FOR LIKING PINK. HE TEASES ME MERCILESSLY SKSJSKSK (so I published a poem line in the school magazine to get back at him for it, because I'm petty like that)

that's so funny >.< There are two girls, and a girl and a guy, who share the exact same names in my class, and it's so funny because they're opposites of each other xD

he really is precious. The best leader, I would literally die for him, he's wonderful. yeah the book actually started out different, with them just being best friends. Best plot twist 😭😭 AWW

NOOO I'm sure it's cute, in it own way? :P tho that meme tho. LDJCJSBSKS. Don't worry, hehe, the character may be .... Unpleasant to look at?? , but you're not the least bit at all :)

how was your day btw? My day sucked ass and was literally the worst day in the history of uh, days. Yeah. sad. tomorrow will be better.

God, you're so adorable wtf. Marry me rn. AKDJSKSJS I didn't find it lame at all, (tho were you flustered? Because that was cute as hell xD) I love you too 🥺🥺

—☃️

It's okay, it's not your fault. We could storm the Tumblr building together or something..:3

Oh I really hope we can!!! I love cold weather. You can wear sweaters and hoodies and all that💞 and you have an excuse to cancel everything and cuddle up with a blanket or someone else😝

Im so glad you're better now!! Spice sickness or whatever is the worst😔 WBHDJWKX that's hilarious I hope I come across those soon! Let's see who wins😼

Yeah, about that, they started making us do after-class activities, which now leaves less time for the stuff I have to do .... which sucks . But I'm managing, I think, so it's cool xD yeah, I've always been kind of cautious about the timing, it's nice to have a little freedom now, thank you so much <3

Wow😭😭 our teachers usually have the dates set two weeks before the exams, we always recieve a message. Though I've been there, where the teacher have no clue, it's so annoying😭😭

Ohh, that's so cool! I hope I will be able to visit one someday. Though I dont think itll be too soon, but I'm looking forward to when I can😝 also that's funny, whenever I speak people go "he doesnt have an accent???" Even though I so obviously do. They just have no idea 😭

Okay..... that's the best words of encouragement I've ever received, I'm so touched- thank you🥺💘

Bwahah, that's gonna make my day every time 😭 Yeah, hes my favorite too!! He seems like a simple himbo at first, but the more we see of him the better he gets. (That sounds cool!!! I'm gonna check it out when I can!)

Thank you🥺 also, dont worry, I wouldn't mind that. I'd love that, actually, wanna go rip off guys arms together?

MZJXKGJJAKXKAKX IT'S ALRIGHT HAHAH, ITS REALLY FUNNY SO DONT WORRY😭😭

JSNFNMWMDMS IM GONNA MAKE FUN OF HIM FOR MAKING FUN OF YOU how could he . I will eat his eyeballs. Also I 100% agree with the poem and I'm glad you posted it. I hope some people thought about it.

Wow😭😭 its honestly so funny, because they're all so different and yet their names fit them so well either way.

Also, wow I feel so bad it's been almost a week since I responded😐 I'm really sorry. I've been writing snips of this message any time I could and yet it still took me days xD I'm getting free, though, so I'll try to respond faster now. I missed talking to you so much😭 thank you for your patience🤍🤍🤍

How've you been? I'm pretty good, tired but feeling good because I can finally respond😩 I hope your day went well. Love you!♡

#Ari💕#ive been meaning to send you short messages but the internet said no💔😐

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years

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Jude & Jac

Jude: [okay so my idea is that like Jesse is doing some kind of little christmassy gig at Pete's record store and cafe moment because why not] Jude: You ready to 👀 the 🎄🎅 classics get 💀🔪🎤? Jac: You usually have to be famous before you sell out for Christmas royalties Jude: he's not NOT famous rn Jac: 🙄 you get a badge for signing up Jude: I should get a blue peter badge for rigging up his lil stage & backdrop Jac: if he was famous, he'd have roadies for that Jac: not unpaid family members Jude: 💻⭐dom for you Jac: This country fame for you Jac: it means about 10 people outside of Dublin have heard of you but EVERYONE here knows you Jac: so fun Jude: 🤣 by that I'm a star too & without a single 📀 Jac: Reputation doesn't imply any skill or talent Jude: 😜✌ Jude: coming or what? Jac: obviously not Jude: Jess'll be 😒💔 Jude: probs inspire him to belt out silent night with a well new twist 🎻🎻😭 Jude: 👍 or 👎 tbc Jac: I doubt that Jac: but he's welcome for the make or break Jude: 🏆🥇 Jac: whatever accolades he does or doesn't get are his business Jac: I'm going out Jude: Where? Jude: can I come? Jac: out Jac: and no, you have prior obligations Jude: Who with? Jac: Jesse, clearly Jude: Nah, who are YOU going with Jac: nosy Jude: tell me then Jac: 😂 Jac: why Jude: Why not? Jac: because it'll annoy you, is the easiest answer to that Jude: either it's top secret & that's just fun or it ain't and I'll see whatever 📷 clues on my feed in a bit Jude: I can annoy you loads more with my qs before that, like Jac: if you're such a fan of discretion you wanna work a bit harder at it yourself Jude: ?? Jac: when you said you had loads of questions, I thought you meant more than marks Jude: 😝 Jac: and I'm the poor conversationalist Jude: you're the mute Jude: Jess is the shit conversationalist Jac: who could get a word in with you around Jude: Lucky we all know sign language Jac: for my uni application Jac: nothing else Jude: be a bit rude if you singled out uncle Bob as the 1 person you did talk to Jac: bit fucking weird Jude: that too Jac: not gonna come for your gig on that either Jude: you'd have a job to Jac: thanks for the unintentional compliment Jude: welcome Jac: did you take my good pair of tights? Jude: not gonna go rob the place Jac: guess I'll just freeze to death Jude: RIP Jac: thanks Jude: 1. might be more helpful if I knew where you were going 2. welcome again 3. tis the season ⚰💀💔 Jac: 1. the north pole, to see santa and his pals 2. no need to stand on formalities 3. you're thinking of easter Jude: 1. say hey from me 2. I don't do formal 3. nah, I was thinking of how busy the 📞s are & how many people top themselves Jac: Cheery, aren't we Jac: you need some carols Jude: I can read a room Jac: laughable Jude: wish you would Jude: you a need a laugh Jac: if anyone can make it happen Jac: it wouldn't be you Jude: 🤡🤡🤡 Jac: seeing if Jameson still cries might make me crack a smile Jude: there you go, that's the spirit Jac: ugh stop Jude: ?? Jac: you aren't a fucking samaritan Jude: haven't made it official Jude: probs too young Jac: I haven't looked into it Jac: do you really want to be responsible for loads of losers offing themselves though Jude: when you put it like that Jac: you haven't got the temperament Jude: I heard you ain't looked into it Jude: but alright Jac: I've known you long enough to know you'd push a sane person over the edge Jude: whoops Jude: 🤪 Jac: hmm Jude: You gonna gatecrash Izzy's bday? Jude: I'm so coming if you are Jac: Why would I do that Jac: time how long it is before she has a breakdown? Jude: you did it for Millz' bday Jude: & she didn't FULLY have a breakdown though the gays ain't over it still Jac: Isabelle's life is already ruined, no need to do anything Jude: her ma would probs chuck you out anyway Jac: the role reversal would be nice for her no doubt Jude: as priorities go, doubt it's top of hers for what'd be nice Jac: 'cos giving a shit about her daughter clearly is, alright Jude: why are you going off on her ma? Jac: just because they're poor doesn't mean you can't say anything bad about them Jac: if her mum was about then none of it would've happened Jac: she can't even be arsed to take time off work to give Is time to heal Jude: & if her da was about, her ma might be able to afford to Jude: they're skint, you just said it Jac: if she knew who he was, he might be Jac: don't give me that, as if you know her Jac: she's a shit mum, always has been, and that's what happens Jude: alright Jac: so no, I'm not going to her sad party Jude: you should at least 🗨 Jac: no Jude: Come on, she's having a shit time Jac: Good Jude: 🥶 Jac: I didn't like her before she got felt up Jac: I don't like her now Jude: Bollocks, you were mates for time Jac: yeah, ask her how good of a mate I was Jac: or Amelia Jac: it meant fuck all Jude: 🙄 lies Jac: if you wanna lie to yourself, sure Jude: if you do, crack on Jac: evidence is in my favour so I'm fine with it Jude: Nah Jude: Amelia wouldn't still be 💔🎻😭 if you were such a shit mate & she was chuffed to be rid Jac: Amelia has her own angst to worry about Jac: as you mentioned Jude: yeah & part of it is you Jude: 🗑ing her off Jac: only when her girlfriend cheated on her Jude: & before Jac: you lez off with her if you're so fucking interested Jac: precisely 0 people will be surprised Jude: girls don't do nowt for me Jude: especially ones I've grown up with Jude: 0/10 interest tah Jac: sure Jude: Yeah I am Jac: probably stop going on and on about her then Jude: Touchy Jude: barely said anything Jac: you saying a word is a word too many for me Jude: 🤐 Jude: g2g as it happens Jac: 'tis the season Jude: +353 1 671 0071 Jude: 📞 it if you wanna 🗨 to someone else Jac: fuck off Jude: Love you too Jude: 👋 Jac: nope Jude: my declaration of 💘 isn't a q Jude: soz but not soz Jac: the too makes it false Jude: nope Jude: you love me Jac: no, I don't Jac: go away Jude: yeah, you do Jude: see you later Jac: go jump off o'connell bridge Jude: you're the only one freezing to death tonight, mate Jac: always next year Jac: he must not have got my letter in time Jude: next year I'll probs be ☕🤗 too Jude: defs is the season for that Jac: if you're not going to talk like an adult, then doubly don't bother Jude: 🤣 Jac: I cannot be clearer than fuck off and die Jac: I'm trying to get ready Jude: I'm getting ready too Jude: it's obvs doable Jac: you'll look a state Jac: I don't plan to Jude: funny Jac: just my honest assessment Jude: your snaps tell a different story of the state of you but alright Jac: first I need a laugh, the next you blast me for having one Jac: it's almost like you say whatever bullshit is floating around your head at the time, with no thought or feeling behind it Jude: don't sound like me, that 😜 Jac: not even slightly funny Jude: idc Jac: that's evident Jude: 👍✔ Jac: have fun hanging around your own brother like you wanna fuck him Jude: even less funny Jude: we're proper scraping the barrel now Jac: you'll be hearing that your whole life Jude: 💔 Jac: exactly Jude: 😭 Jac: just do it quietly Jude: can't & won't Jac: it's pretty much white noise at this point Jude: have you got with Raf? Jac: who? Jude: [some boy's profile like it him] Jac: oh Jac: maybe Jac: can't remember Jude: 👌 Jac: why Jude: Jess asked Jude: she's 🤔💭 about it Jac: lovely Jude: can't have been if you don't remember it Jac: she doesn't need to send my regards Jude: obvs, she wanted to know if he's worth bothering with Jude: there's her answer Jac: like anyone is Jude: so dramatic Jac: *not gonna get used all my life Jude: 🙄 Jac: my thoughts exactly Jude: 👋 fr then Jude: leave you to your 💭 Jac: yeah, foreign concept to you Jac: later Jude: ✌️

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years

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Fearghal & Kaitlin

Fearghal: [So the setup is sending her a postcard pretending to be a mate visiting in England for whatever reason (could be fam you get the vibe, nothing suspect given the time this is) but giving enough info that she 1. Knows it is him 2. has the number of at least a phonebox nearby if not a phone in his care home 3. a time when he plans to first call the phonebox nearest their home in Ireland, assumedly this is some sneaky twin shit they've pulled similar enough before that she can catch on without any of the rest of the fam also doing so; only question is how long do we want it to be since he left?] Kaitlin: [3 months ish later then and they've turned 15 but only just for our ref how do we think the situation is with his dad etc like would he just be acting like he's dead cos is to him?] Fearghal: [basically my vibe was they wanted to weaponize Tabby killing herself for their gain, like make it something political even though literally not about that bar the fact her family and his family and co didn't want them together and she was a dramatic teenage girl in love (no offense but like) and so when he wouldn't go along with that there was a massive fight, actual, between him and his dad and then Fearghal left 'cos there's never any option but to do as your told with this fam and he can't lose face with all the other people etc etc and the story the dad is telling the fam etc is that Fearghal deserted them which not untrue but yeah, good enough for all the olders to disown him too so it'd be like we don't talk about him and if someone else bring him up you denounce him] Kaitlin: [let's say there's a crying baby in the background cos like in my OG post she can use her youngest sister needing fresh air as an excuse so casually left her outside the phonebox but might be able to hear her if she's going for it] Kaitlin: How ya Fearghal: K? Fuck's sake, you've not had a bastard, have ya? 's'not been that long, like Kaitlin: Catch yourself on! mind how ya ma was fit to drop, you eejit? well we're all lurred she had another girl who I'm hauling about as my cover, so I am Fearghal: [Laughs] Still easy to windup then [slight pause to take in that it's a girl and is here, like not the biggest shock but also literally no way of knowing at this time so] And go on, don't leave me in suspense, what name they burden the poor fucker with Kaitlin: [makes an unimpressed noise like fuck off] full of that good craic you are, bet the brits are buzzing to hear it. You ready? Niamh Roisin, it's a cracker, like [sighs] Fearghal: [laughs some more] Yeah, catch me on that most wanted list, obviously [makes a wincing noise like no] Christ, actually lost it fully then, has she? Made it longer than some but dunno if mentals get to heaven, haveta ask Father Quigley, like Kaitlin: [laughs herself] yeah yeah [makes like a idk noise] can you lose what you've never had? A good catholic'll find a way, to be sure, and she is that, our ma [makes a scornful noise at the mention of the priest as is standard for her] Fearghal: [makes a mm noise to agree] Suppose so, don't reckon much was said 'bout being good to 'em once you had 'em, so be alright [sighs] What have you been up to, then...How's it been Kaitlin: if it was she'd recite between the lines to keep us anyone's problem but hers, poor critter [sarcastic laugh because mum's getting no real sympathy] it could've been 3 days from when you went off for what's changed and not- [a long pause because everything's shit and we know it is] Fearghal: What's God if not top babysitter, eh? Cheaper than telly and who's giving money to the BBC [scoffs but cuts it short 'cos yep] And I'm fine too, you rude cow Kaitlin: and stand him next to our earthly da and he comes out lookin' class [chefs kiss noise] Hey now! [makes a fake noise of shock like she's appalled at the mention of the bbc] watch your profanity around me, dicko! [really long exaggerated sigh as a pisstake] a'course you are, land well anywhere, but hit me with your bars, it's no bother to hear how right I am Fearghal: If you can get him stand still long enough, like and you ain't a lad so no chance, babe [does pisstake wistful sigh] Forgot you needed protecting from the evils of this world, my apologies [coughs awkwardly then, stalling for time, fiddling with the phone in ways she can probably hear] Taking a bow as we speak, can't fit in here with me but the adoring fans are aplenty over this way, well more than there so fuck it, life's grand so it is Kaitlin: Wise up, boy, he only sways slightly of an evening on these ones lately so he does [but her voice is MAD because fuck being a girl in this fam] Did you now? Thank fuck my new lad has his uses then, like [takes a deep breath to try and calm down but exaggerates it for the pisstake because have to, god forbid they are serious rn] I went and saw your former biggest fan under that rock they've carved with protestant shite, no word on if life's grander for her now it's ended or if she's regretting she didn't send her prayers up saying she wanted another bite of the cherry, one that wasn't yours- [stops like I've probably gone a bit far here and shouldn't mention his dead ex anymore] Fearghal: Good for him [through gritted teeth like let's never talk about him thank you] Like you need a replacement protector, got how many ready and willing at home, just DYING to beat the shit out of some 15 year old kid for your honour and just for the craic of it [does it back, like and then is silent until the pips are going but he's still there 'cos they stop when he puts more money in] You'll be under some rock with Catholic shite if they catch you in their graveyard [says it much more quietly than he's said the rest] Kaitlin: [makes a noise of disgust that doesn't need to be exaggerated for the pisstake cos genuinely horrified at this fam thanks] what honour? Shame you brought down on us with what they caught you at [but her voice is softer too because didn't mean to go off and also doesn't mean any of that we know] supposed to scare me, is it? [said like I wouldn't be here to give them a chance to do it just like you weren't] Fearghal: Why you need to ask one of the others, ain't it; can't be the best looking of the bunch and the best behaved, got to leave something for 'em to do and impressing n pleasing him 's'never been high on my to-do so have at it, lads [does meh noise like this is all so casual] Called the fear of God for a reason, aye Kaitlin: [does the meh noise back and it's her turn to awkwardly fiddle with the phone/cough while she works up to saying what she does next, more quietly than she has anything else] how's it truly then? Away and everything. Free and clear Fearghal: It's, like- just shit because you realize that everything that happens in that fucking town, all the stuff that rules our lives and is all they give a shit about, no other cunt does, you know, Kait? Sure, its on the news when another bomb goes off or don't and that; but the English don't even have to think about it, their day to day ain't affected at all, no fucker but our lot cares and what's the point, honestly? Everything we were forced to at least think was important, if not fecking stupid, ain't and now I don't- [Stops to do some actual breathing to calm down] Not to mention I'm thick as shite, thanks for that and all- 'cos frees a bloody joke [laughs bitterly] I get by, now, got a place to stay so, don't haveta worry but don't be hopping the next ferry yourself, girl Kaitlin: [when you're just silent for ages because as much as you think it's bullshit you're basically in a cult rn with no chance of getting out so what can you say like] not that thick, warning me off coming to keep an eye on all these english girls with theirs on ya but no bother 'cause mind I get sea sick and class as boking on brits sounds I'd get fairly covered myself before I made any casualties of 'em Fearghal: Know enough about girls and enough about you to know the two don't need mixing, that's just school of life, that [moving away a bit and telling someone who's impatiently waiting to fuck off] Stay put [when you say it firmly like serious voice] That wain and the rest needs someone VAGUELY sane about to stand any chance, fuck me, Aislinn's already been corrupted and she's barely in double digits [kicks the box] Kaitlin: [laughs because yeah don't let her around any girls you like babe] you should know enough about me to know what giving me your orders'll do fer ya and what it'll make me do [but there's no actual real threat in it we all know she's staying for the bubs] Sane as you by that count, ain't I? [can't help genuinely sighing] Mammy's girl is Aislinn been like it since she was old enough to play house [grimaces at the thought cos never that bitch] got the rest under MY apron strings, grand they are and it goes for the stories I tell 'em every night after prayers, rest easy yourself knowing that, yeah? Fearghal: Alright, alright [hear the 🙄😏] But if you wanna be the next to bring shame on 'em, you can do better than a cheeky abortion, surely? [shakes his head] Yeah. [Pause] Yeah [Coughs again] I'm doing my bit, swear, it's gonna take a while 'til I can send you anything and I've got to work out how when I do- it ain't for them, just you lot but like I said, not cheap Kaitlin: [an outraged noise like who do you think you're talking to, of course I can do better than that etc] Yeah. [Pauses herself because again what to say, there's so much it's too much] I've got faith in the right shite, Gally [nickname ftw because feels] it'll work out. We'll work it out, like we did this Fearghal: 'Course we will, K. No other choice, is there [definitely not a question] Kaitlin: not a real question, is it? [she knows its not] Fearghal: you want me to ask you one? Kaitlin: do English girls fall for that? Fearghal: Enough of 'em, yeah Kaitlin: [makes a ugh noise] how you've got a bed, is it? Fearghal: Theirs top where mine is Kaitlin: I deeply feel that Fearghal: [makes the kinda sad 'ha' sound like 'I know'] Not all bad though, some class drugs about and you don't get kneecapped for taking a casual interest Kaitlin: [does a little hooray down the phone] Fearghal: Send you some but your phones probably tapped so I definitely won't Kaitlin: thanks or no thanks, depending who'll be listening Fearghal: Cover those bases and the baby's ears Kaitlin: nothing to be heard over her crying Fearghal: don't lie, you miss me that much [laughs] Kaitlin: fuck off [but laughs too] Fearghal: Will do Fearghal: so many English girls Kaitlin: [exaggerated being sick noise] nowhere close to a ferry and sick as a dog, don't start me any further Fearghal: You think I escaped to pray every day and fight the good fight, like Kaitlin: if you still pray you ain't escaped fuck all Fearghal: Not living on my knees for no cunt, sis Fearghal: am being haunted, for my sins, though Kaitlin: Be on track to commit more, you'll have enough ghosts for all manner of shite to get done Fearghal: No rest for the wicked on the one hand, but on the other, idle hands and idle minds [breathes out like so conflicted and confused] Kaitlin: [a change in tone because serious] She's gone, so are you. Leave it here. Leave it in this fucking town Fearghal: Not a choice Kaitlin: Can be Fearghal: Nah, s'not, boths already happened Kaitlin: Happened to you, gives you a say in how you deal with it Fearghal: Yeah Kaitlin: You've lived in one haunted house as things stand, ain't you? Miss home that much, is it? Fearghal: How could I not? Live for these lectures, like Kaitlin: [an unamused noise because you're basically calling her a nagging girl which ain't a mood] Fearghal: [the pips again] Oh shit, should robably let you go, yeah? Kaitlin: Yeah probably [but she obvs doesn't wanna that'd be clear] Fearghal: Tell the kids I miss 'em, won't ya Kaitlin: I'll even include her out there Fearghal: Try and send a picture some time, alright Kaitlin: 'Course Fearghal: You too, kid Kaitlin: [laughs but in a more genuine way] You're my twin brother, calling me kid is calling yourself a wain, you eejit Fearghal: That's alright by me, like Kaitlin: I'll not baby you, got enough noses and arses to wipe here while you're hand holding these brits Fearghal: No handholding, on me life, just good old-fashioned- [will cut him off before he can be gross] Kaitlin: [we can say she cuts him off with a very unamused noise as per like no thank you] Fearghal: G'wan then, piss off before that kid freezes to death Kaitlin: [doesn't wanna be the first one to hang up obvs] Watch yourself then Fearghal: You too Fearghal: When can we do this again then Kaitlin: When can you? It's no bother for me to slip out with this ginger whinger, needs fresh air so she does Fearghal: [laughs then is pondering like umm] Try next Sunday, after church, if I don't answer then I'll send another postcard or whatever, yeah Kaitlin: Tryin' to get a free sermon told to ya, respect that hustle if not the message Fearghal: Obviously, how am I getting to heaven from England? Kaitlin: [laughs] no angels in England is there not? You'll have been thinking on your feet for fresh pick up lines all these months, no wonder you ain't had time for me, like Fearghal: Something like that... [Trails off 'cos don't wanna tell her what's really been going on but also does 'cos not its like that and its been a lot to just deal with on his own] Kaitlin: But it's something else like what? [cos sees through you boyyy] Fearghal: It's alright now, like Fearghal: but it ain't as if the old man sent me on me way with anywhere to go, is it Kaitlin: He didn't put a bullet in your head as a send off, that's what gets me to sleep of a night, but- [trails off because she was gonna say she knows it hasn't been easy but she doesn't know how hard it's been and she's not trying to guess like let's compare struggles] Kaitlin: Yeah [another pause] Fearghal: Should've put one in his [so under his breath it's like did you mean that to be heard or] Kaitlin: You'd have to take ma out an' all, I don't reckon the broken heart myth is anything other than another story, and probably a few of us would make the cut for cute little orphans but you and me'd have to catch ourselves on quick and wise up Fearghal: Make Tara look after you all as well as Diarmaid's kids, see how committed to the family she really is [sniffs 'cos we been knew] Kaitlin: [makes an identical sound cos twinning] I'll take her out if she was bothered to try and get near 'em Fearghal: Least Owie is old enough to help out, young enough to give a clout, yeah? [genuine concern] Kaitlin: [scoffs because we know he's a bit of a knob but it's still affectionate because] Fearghal: He'll be alright [but doesn't sound as reassuring as that's meant to be 'cos like unlikely at this point] Kaitlin: He's got me, my will's stronger than god's so father Q likes to say [laughs] under his breath, a'course Fearghal: [laughs back but its less 'cos sad] He doesn't always chat shite Kaitlin: Reckon he's a soft spot for me Fearghal: [makes noise like 'hopefully not too soft' but is joking, doesn't need to be that kind of priest] Kaitlin: I don't wish you were here Fearghal: How could he not, with the charm [but just jk like] Is it better, in some ways Kaitlin: It's...[trails off cos we all know even if there's less hassle it's not better as far as she's concerned and the loneliness is a real mood] I'm buzzing you got out [genuine but her voice is sad] Fearghal: Your turn next, I mean it Kaitlin: After we get a few birthday's under Niamh's belt [pauses because it's sinking in how stuck she is for now] and the rest, give 'em a fighting chance Fearghal: Yeah Fearghal: I'll make it easier, any which way I can Kaitlin: Me too, for you, I mean Fearghal: I'm grand, honest but cheers [more pips] I am outta shrapnel though so- Kaitlin: Don't be putting honest on a lie [frustrated sigh because nobody wants this to end but she wouldn't have money] speak Sunday and like I said, watch yourself Fearghal: Love ya, K ['cos no time to take the piss for it or protest] Kaitlin: [let's say she gets cut off before she can say it back for the pain]

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years

Text

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: ? Janis: didn't wanna wake you Janis: had to go get Grace Jimmy: is she alright? Janis: erm, loosely Janis: it's a whole situation you don't need to worry about but she's not about to be murdered so yeah, for our purposes Jimmy: you alright? Janis: just really Janis: I don't know Janis: yeah Jimmy: It's my turn to steal a car Jimmy: say the word, babe Janis: cheers Janis: step up from what she was working with, even if I'm not sure you'd pass a breathalyzer yet, like Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: 👮💪 Janis: don't actually though, just so we're clear Janis: you should go back to sleep Jimmy: tell it to the 🐕 Jimmy: she's followed me all about everywhere I looked for you Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: awh Janis: I'm sorry Jimmy: Again, tell her 'cause 🏆💪 late night trampoline champ, me Janis: make it up to her, obviously Janis: if Ian wasn't 😡 enough over the kids, the kebab shit she does will send him over the edge, like Jimmy: She's alright she's had a walk to the scene of your failed crime with me Jimmy: Ian'll be 💔 as Sharon or whatever her name is Jimmy: let's call her mum Janis: damn, are YOU alright? Janis: didn't pull a shotgun did she Jimmy: I didn't pull a muscle or owt either 🥇 tah Jimmy: What kind of Romeo would I be if I'm not coming through a window or chucking shit at it, like? Jimmy: not real 💩 though, you're alright Janis: dead impressive, you Janis: and probably for the best, can they get DNA from shit? Janis: idk Jimmy: might do if I were 45 and it had 🩸 in it Janis: 😂 this is gross Jimmy: *goals Jimmy: I reckon we're proper starcrossed now, she were fuming Janis: of course, tbh Romeo was lucky she weren't just emptying her chamber pot when he was lurking Janis: oh god Janis: she always is so don't take it personal Jimmy: might've helped if 1. I could remember your name Jimmy: 2. Twix didn't near get in a 🐕 fight with hers Jimmy: 3. I never said 'same, mate' when she said she had work in a bit Janis: 🙄 Janis: well, as your luck would have it Janis: may have unintentionally started a widespread family drama so Janis: gracie, meet bus Jimmy: it ain't my fault or bad luck if your parents gave more than one of you J names and if not, easy guess who I meant Jimmy: described you and owt so Janis: sure it was so favourable Jimmy: 'course Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: just made that face at her, yeah Jimmy: what kind of poet do you take me for? Jimmy: obviously prepared something on the way Janis: if you were any kind you'd tell me you dreamt it, boy Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: Oi, I'm not reading my dream diary to you, dickhead Janis: 💔 Janis: I'll just be bored on my walk then Janis: rude Jimmy: Impossible to be bored with a kebab or how pissed Gracie must be to have agreed to that Jimmy: she'll be dreaming about them calories and waking up to 💀👑 death threats Janis: it is very tempting to DM her a mukbang but Jimmy: if you don't, I'll stop waiting here like your 💔 missus and come do it Janis: shaz suits you Jimmy: there's your warning, Jules Jimmy: and it don't end in a y so how could it possibly? Jimmy: Ian's never wrong Janis: hot Janis: x2, duh Jimmy: 😏 Janis: oh, before I forget Janis: she said sorry Jimmy: I get it, our kid drives me to drink an' all Janis: 'scuse you, I'm responsible af Janis: she's just talking a lot Janis: more than usual Jimmy: she's wasted then? Janis: don't take much Jimmy: pisshead and a lightweight 💕 Janis: oi Jimmy: tah for only twinning with your 💕🍺 Jimmy: keeping it 🥇 Janis: 😒 Jimmy: I miss you too, girl Janis: really Janis: 🤔🤔🤔 Jimmy: You don't reckon I'm 💔🎻😭? Janis: tis your default so Jimmy: Oi Janis: what Jimmy: Are you gonna stay? Jimmy: there, at yours Janis: idk Janis: might have to Jimmy: I weren't lying to your young, fit nan Jimmy: I do have a shift in a bit Janis: firstly, ew Janis: secondly, eww Jimmy: and thirdly? Janis: alright, see you later then Jimmy: No Janis: what? Jimmy: Don't just go again Janis: I didn't mean Janis: I meant I'll probably stay here then, for all the reasons Jimmy: 👌 Janis: I miss you too Jimmy: Then just Janis: I'll come back as soon as I can Janis: but probably be at the CG the way this day's going Jimmy: You gonna bring your hungover sister? Janis: why you wanna see her so bad, like Jimmy: now that she's nicked you off me, I do Janis: Babe Jimmy: What? Janis: you're just really Jimmy: 😡😡 yeah, me and your nan Janis: was going to say nice Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: You're the one saving Grace Jimmy: I'm only here 😭😭😭 Jimmy: me and the 🐕 Janis: debatable that Janis: she's a good dog too Jimmy: You're a good girlfriend Jimmy: next time just tell me you're going Janis: I will Janis: promise Janis: you were just so 😴 Jimmy: I don't care if I'm 💀💀💀 wake me Jimmy: I thought Janis: I know Janis: in hindsight Jimmy: if you're gonna sober up enough to ever have 2nd thoughts about owt I've said, at least write it down somewhere Jimmy: save me a 💀💌 Jimmy: you know I'm basically illiterate Janis: i ain't Janis: i won't, like Jimmy: You still like me then? Janis: of course I do Janis: think drunk grace spits so much truth I'm reconsidering, like Jimmy: Being in love with Mia is enough to put anyone off, to be fair Jimmy: even my ex weren't bad as her Janis: the 💔 is very real here Jimmy: I can imagine, won't, like, but easily could Jimmy: got the orchestra following you home, babe Janis: take it, like Janis: at least those losers won't have bad intentions Jimmy: they ain't gonna piss about 🎻s to play Jimmy: and they know how 💪💪💪 you are Janis: who don't tbh Janis: 👊👊👊 Jimmy: my dad and Sharon Jimmy: might've missed your chance to show her but 🤞 Ian won't die before we can kill him Janis: I'll be back 🤖 Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: I want you back Janis: trust me, rather be there, even if I weren't somewhere this shit Jimmy: can't you get here somehow? Jimmy: both bigheads, gotta be able to make it work Janis: I'm 🤞 they'll reckon she's in a worse enough state that they'll put her to bed and I can make my exit Jimmy: Get to the CG and I'll meet you there, open up earlier than planned Janis: I am only in it for the lattes Janis: 😍🤤 Jimmy: There you go then Jimmy: 🔑💕 Janis: honestly, was opening up meant to be a punishment or the #ultimatewingmanmove Janis: thanks.. graham Jimmy: Let me know after I've taught you ☕🎨 Jimmy: ultimate skill for the CV that Janis: also so important to me Janis: career progression Janis: only so far all the 💸 will take me Jimmy: #obvs Jimmy: good acoustics in there if owt else fails Jimmy: for your 😇 voice Janis: your 😈 one Jimmy: You're so Janis: your fault Janis: and your problem now so Jimmy: Your own fault Jimmy: but no problem Janis: you Janis: just Janis: you know Jimmy: you baby Jimmy: it's been you this entire time Janis: I can't Jimmy: Bollocks, there's nowt you can't do Jimmy: 🥇 girl Janis: I really fucking like you alright Jimmy: It's alright with me Janis: good Jimmy: You wanna do something when I'm done being paid to serve? Jimmy: just me and you Janis: yeah Janis: like what, I mean Jimmy: have a think Jimmy: I will an' all Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 💕 Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: 😏 Jimmy: 😘 Janis: 🤓 Jimmy: 💔 Janis: 😎 Jimmy: 😏 Janis: the amount of times I've saved her from the road/bushes/tripping over thin air tonight when I could just let her 💀 means you're gonna be so nice to me, right? Jimmy: I'll be nice to you 'cause I want to Jimmy: Grace don't come into it Janis: even better then Janis: just reminding you, such a 😇 Jimmy: still got your song in my head Jimmy: weren't likely to forget Janis: just my name Janis: standard Jimmy: I know your name, Juliet Janis: Well I know how to make you say it so Janis: who's the real romantic here Jimmy: been saying it's you since day 1 Jimmy: no need for a twitter poll Janis: so what you're saying is, I win Jimmy: Nah, I do Jimmy: you're with this miserable dickhead Jimmy: I get the last true romantic Janis: don't do yourself dirty Janis: you're alright Jimmy: Tah Janis: you could've swooned a bit Janis: really meant that, dickhead Jimmy: Calm down, I felt it Janis: ugh Janis: feel a bit sick Jimmy: Shut up Janis: oh lol Janis: meant that too but unrelated Janis: probably the kebab Jimmy: such a pisstake you Jimmy: Alright well 🤢 before you get to me, like Janis: charming Janis: some nurse you are Jimmy: Grace will hold your hair back for you, all the practice she's had Janis: yeah, such a help her rn Jimmy: better not set her off 🤢🤢🤢 an' all then Janis: shut up Jimmy: Baby Janis: you reckon I could push her in and run Janis: before either of them come Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: top plan Janis: yeah? Jimmy: Depends how sick you feel Janis: sicker if i have to stay Jimmy: If you have to stay, I'll just come to you Jimmy: Get someone to cover Janis: nah, don't need to do that Janis: they're just gonna wanna talk so I'll just have to ignore them like usual Janis: just gonna be a bit Janis: frantic, tonight and I'd rather not Jimmy: 🤢 that'll 💀💀💀 the chat Janis: 👍 Jimmy: It'll be alright Jimmy: like you said, she's in no state to do owt but 😭 or 💤 Janis: all the more reason to snatch me Jimmy: why what've done? Jimmy: you* Janis: long story Janis: what ain't I done 😎 Jimmy: *😈 Janis: exactly Jimmy: Stop flirting with me Jimmy: I get it, you're well fit and mysterious Janis: you have no idea, mate Jimmy: Tell me then Jimmy: didn't get a bedtime story so Janis: break my heart in a minute Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: Pete can keep his 🎸 working for me them Janis: wouldn't know where to begin, like Janis: without a 🎻 or 🎸 Janis: 🤞 they don't know either Jimmy: been a bit of a weird night, yeah? Janis: yeah Janis: some of it was good still Jimmy: I'll always give you good weird, babe Jimmy: promise Janis: thanks, really Jimmy: I wanna do more Jimmy: what can I? Janis: don't go nowhere Janis: stay Jimmy: Alright Janis: I know it's weird Janis: to say Janis: just a weird night yeah Jimmy: Why do you reckon it's weird? Jimmy: You're allowed to want me to be about Janis: I dunno Jimmy: You've not done this before, have you? Jimmy: that'll be why Janis: navigated a drunk grace home? Janis: unfortunately not my first rodeo Jimmy: 🥇 #bants mate but not what I meant Janis: what do you mean then Jimmy: You didn't get me? 💔 Janis: how ungoals Janis: have to dump me Jimmy: subtle Janis: shut up Jimmy: not me who did a 🌙 flit, were it? Janis: if Cass ever manages to get herself in half a state, you've got a free pass, like Jimmy: Leave it out Janis: yeah Jimmy: seriously Janis: alright Janis: ain't said anything Jimmy: 👍 Janis: well you know the drill Janis: wish me 🍀 Janis: come find me if it gets to a couple of days Jimmy: that ain't funny Jimmy: but alright Janis: I know it ain't Jimmy: have a look at where I said leave it out then Janis: well I mean it, we're there, like Janis: not gonna be accused of 👻ing again Jimmy: so go on and crack on Janis: fine Jimmy: 👌 Janis: [let's say she can get out in a reasonable amount of time like shh cali not now] Janis: at work? Jimmy: [a 😒 selfie to show he is] Janis: another day another dollar Janis: want me to come see you Jimmy: I won't take you to get that as a matching tramp stamp, rich girl, but it'll do well on the 'gram Janis: you gonna do it for me Jimmy: obvs, nowt I wouldn't 💕 Janis: find the cleanest biro you can then, dickhead Jimmy: [selfie of him with a pen in his mouth like this'll do] Janis: 😏 Janis: stop flirting with me and start flirting with your customers Jimmy: uploading my nudes to the CG insta, hang on Jimmy: just gotta keep one arm round Doris so she don't 💀💀💀 Jimmy: didn't have her hip done that long ago Janis: such a talented multi-tasker Janis: defs need a raise Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: you need anything Jimmy: other than a raise? Janis: do my best Janis: such a fan of mine, dennis Jimmy: who ain't, babe? Janis: oh, some ginger prick, appaz Jimmy: What? Janis: of the many enlightening things gracie came out with, the fact some lad reckons I shagged his bird was the funniest tbh Janis: catch me brawling for her affection Jimmy: 🙄😏 can't take you nowhere Jimmy: get back in the closet for a bit tah, you're showing me up Janis: oi, don't take his side Janis: worst bf ever 💔 Jimmy: It's been a few hours now, like Jimmy: What did you reckon 💕 and 🌹? Janis: obvs Janis: no less for me 👑 Jimmy: good, won't have to chuck this bunch back on the ⚰ for a bit then Janis: don't worry, when it comes to it, seperate your yelp review and bf one Janis: not that rude Jimmy: career progression really is important to you, eh? Jimmy: so hot Janis: top priority Jimmy: I'll let my manager know Janis: Busy shift? Jimmy: You want a smoothie that bad? Jimmy: I'll sort you out with a queue jump, babe Janis: just sound it Janis: I can wait Jimmy: If I sound 😒 and 😫 that'll be 'cause I am Janis: hold your nose and down 'em all, like Jimmy: just neck this lass' espresso in front of her Jimmy: #savage Janis: 😂 Janis: I think it's funny, get on board jeremy Jimmy: if you ain't put owt in the suggestion box, now's the time, girl Janis: will do Janis: reckon I'm gonna shower and sort myself 'fore I come though Janis: pretty wrecked and all Jimmy: You had any sleep? Janis: nah Jimmy: Get some, dickhead Janis: I've survived on less, it's alright Jimmy: That weren't what I asked Janis: didn't really ask, more demand Janis: time and a place to be all 🤤 babe Jimmy: Here's me demanding you don't pass out in the CG then Jimmy: and your warning that I will draw on your face Janis: fair Janis: but Jimmy: but what? Janis: I just wanna see you Jimmy: I'll wake you up when I'm done Jimmy: you know how much I love the bus ride to yours Jimmy: Why are you trying to deny me my fave thing? So rude Janis: I'm your fave thing Janis: ruder Jimmy: So I don't want you to 💀💀💀 Jimmy: just sleep Janis: okay Janis: I'll try Jimmy: 🧸💕 Jimmy: I'll try not to be jealous Janis: I hope it smells enough like you so I can 😴 Jimmy: put my hoodie on, I'll be there as soon as Janis: Okay Janis: try not to fall into the steamer Janis: I'd miss your face Jimmy: Me an' all Jimmy: need it to rest my 😎 on Jimmy: and how would I 🚬? Janis: keep those 👂s and 👃 in tact Janis: gobhole still be there Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: I get it, you'd miss my 👂 the most Jimmy: do it for you then, baby Janis: how would I even show my 💕 Janis: don't bear thinking about Jimmy: I might think about it Jimmy: just a bit Janis: 😏 hm Janis: idk if that will help me sleep but Jimmy: I'd say sorry but it'll only sound fake Janis: never fake, us Jimmy: could obvs say the same about that ginger dickhead and his gay missus though Janis: how rude to try and get rid via slandering my name Janis: literally just got this rep girl Jimmy: I'll have a scrap with him but it's probably best if you don't touch her Janis: get her to do a police sketch Janis: did she imagine it or Janis: who knows Jimmy: maybe she fucked your sister but Grace don't want 💀👑 to dump her so she's saying it were you Janis: 😱 Janis: falls apart when they're off-again already Janis: but let's spread that instead, obvs Jimmy: #trueloveaintneveroff Jimmy: soz for the stuff of nightmares though, Judith Janis: truly, gonna have her as my sleep paralysis demon Janis: come through 👑charming Jimmy: Hang on, I fucked up but I can fix this Jimmy: [voice memo that's like a bedtime story because he's a nerd on his break and is obvs gonna use his time wisely to make something up] Jimmy: stick that on, you'll be alright Janis: [does] Janis: this is Janis: why are you the cutest I hate it Jimmy: shhh Jimmy: 😴😴😴 Janis: okay but I had to let you know Janis: earnt being bigheaded this time Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: 🌃 Jimmy: in a bit, girl Jimmy: [we should say he does go to Cali's so she can wake up whenever to him being there and sleepy snuggling her, gutted for the bear obvs] Janis: ['hey' so buzzin' like] Jimmy: [says it back so softly because all 😍 at how cute she is sleeping] Janis: [when you don't know what to do with yourself badadadum] Jimmy: [a kiss hello is what he should do though because cute and a mood] Janis: [the l word keeps coming like it is time] Jimmy: [that ILY curse, hello to you, my friend] Janis: ['how was the rest of your shift?' yawning so snoozy] Jimmy: [when you just snuggle into her even more than you were like is that an answer or do you just wanna, there's no way to know] Janis: [have that snugg time lads you've earnt it] Jimmy: [just let him be soft 5ever and hold her and kiss her as much as he wants thank you world] Janis: [he gonna need sleep too so have at it] Jimmy: [mhmm be the big 🥄 boy] Janis: [enjoy all that hair we know you do] Jimmy: [shameless] Janis: [just listening to the story again] Jimmy: [I also like to think Pablo had to let him in for my own lols] Janis: [yasss if it was either of cali they'd wanna talk ew] Jimmy: [and Grace is dying so] Janis: [poor girl lol] Jimmy: [if Mia comes knocking she ain't coming in, nobody wants to see you hun especially Pablo] Janis: [oh lord, tryna bang him when she's home i see u] Jimmy: [we all know she would] Janis: [snek, have a field day 'cos JJ are there too] Jimmy: [true] Janis: [too bad bitch] Jimmy: [imagine how unsympathetic she'd be even if Grace was actually dying, the friend we all want obvs] Janis: [i imagine she's like ellie's mum and just talks about herself like literally oblivious] Jimmy: [honestly, suck it up buttercup, am I right?] Janis: [lmaooooo]

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

Text

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: I need a favour Jimmy: And the scale is what? Like a kidney or a 🚬? Janis: don't need anything off you but a lie Janis: so standard, yeah Jimmy: go on Janis: if any of my family ask, and it'll probably be Grace Janis: can you tell 'em I'm at yours, yeah Janis: they won't come over or anything cringe Jimmy: Alright Janis: sure? Janis: cool Janis: I owe you Jimmy: Standard, you said it Jimmy: meant to be with me #always Janis: you get I mean like, until further notice, right Janis: if I'm gone too long and they get aggro, just tell 'em I've gone but yeah, long as you can Jimmy: I weren't reckoning you were nipping out to get a coffee at one of my rival's Jimmy: even Gracie ain't that on one Janis: not that loyal either, sorry to report Jimmy: 💔 Janis: tell her how devvo you are, make her life Jimmy: gonna have to if you leave the fans in a content draught Jimmy: how would I ever cope with becoming #irrelevant Janis: despite the fact that's exactly what you're after, supposedly Janis: and I'm there, remember, content as usually Janis: use your artiste imagination Jimmy: Now I've gotta do all the faking myself Jimmy: what kind of girlfriend Janis: I said I owed you Janis: now you get it Jimmy: You'll more than owe me when I have to seriously draft your sister in as your stand in Janis: don't Jimmy: Too many white redheads in this town Janis: I'm serious dickhead Janis: don't get with my sister Jimmy: It weren't a serious consideration Jimmy: literally no point to this if I were gonna Janis: yeah well I don't ask your reasons you don't ask mine Janis: might've changed Jimmy: not that fucking hard they won't have Jimmy: you got the lobotomy not me Janis: alright alright Janis: 😏 Janis: just can't stand to see her happy, yeah Jimmy: can't stand to see her, tah Janis: my sentiments exactly Jimmy: Better come back in a bit then Jimmy: so you won't have to see me with her Janis: 😑 stop it Jimmy: What? Janis: putting that mental image in my head Jimmy: I mean, dickhead, are you alright or what? Janis: ain't gonna off myself Janis: not that cunt, I wouldn't put that on you Jimmy: not what I asked Janis: idk how to answer that Janis: don't see the point in lying but not asking this favour of ya as no cry for help Janis: alright, nothing I can't handle Jimmy: very comforting that Janis: you shouldn't of asked Janis: nothing you can do either, don't worry Jimmy: bollocks Jimmy: 'course there is Janis: fake boyfriend chivalry is cute and all Jimmy: I know but stop flirting with me and you can be here instead of just saying you are Janis: 1. no one is flirting with you Janis: 2. can't sleep in your shed Jimmy: don't be a twat Jimmy: [tells her where there is a front door key] Janis: what will your dad reckon Janis: don't you need to ask Jimmy: He ain't in Janis: yeah but I told you I need more than a coffee break Jimmy: Yeah, so you can have my room Janis: alright Janis: just 'til you get back tonight Jimmy: Til whenever Jimmy: I'll go in my brother's Janis: nah, I ain't gonna put you out Janis: I appreciate it though Jimmy: You ain't Jimmy: but alright Janis: come off it Jimmy: you Janis: what? Jimmy: I get that you scare easy, rich girl, but I'm the only 👻 round my house Janis: I ain't scared Janis: least of all of your gaff Jimmy: stick around then Janis: they been in today? Jimmy: what do you reckon? Janis: they clearly don't give a fuck Janis: idk what would it take for them to piss off, that's the truth Janis: if I knew well Jimmy: sure I could do it Janis: like the optimism Jimmy: full of it, me Jimmy: 🌞 Janis: don't make me laugh Janis: 🌚 me Jimmy: there's no universe we ain't starcrossed 💔🎻 Janis: actually a tragedy Janis: I'll put it in my note Janis: f u god Jimmy: I'll post it for you, babe Janis: that's real romance Janis: 😩🤤😍 Janis: makes a girl wanna stick around Jimmy: and I ain't even said how much I'd miss you yet Janis: do I get a preview or have I gotta die for the 💕 Jimmy: Depends Janis: on? Jimmy: Do you want me or do you wanna die? Janis: that's a big question Jimmy: I've got a big 💕 Janis: baby Jimmy: 😘 Janis: give me a night Janis: yeah Janis: then I can work out what next Jimmy: Take a night Jimmy: It's alright, I said Janis: don't wanna owe you too much Jimmy: So scared, you Janis: 😠 Jimmy: well cute Janis: I may owe ya Janis: but I will punch you Jimmy: I ain't scared, only you Janis: should be Janis: I have your keys Jimmy: I don't have a car for you to fuck up with them Jimmy: and there ain't fuck all for you to steal Jimmy: just a 🐕 Janis: you reckon I'm such a 🐰boiler Janis: should be worried for that poor pup Jimmy: that's your sister Janis: see, not a good replacement Jimmy: never said she were Janis: hmm Jimmy: Less need for a filter, like Jimmy: that's what I said Janis: you see her in person ain't ya Janis: every need for the filter, thanks Jimmy: 👩🏽 🤳🏽 Jimmy: what I'm bothered about Janis: we ain't identical Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: Stop misunderstanding me, dickhead Janis: stop comparing me to her Janis: bad idea Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: 😏 Jimmy: such hard work, you Janis: you signed up for it Janis: and invited me over Janis: you must be cracked Jimmy: Do you wanna be uninvited or what? Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: believe that when I don't hear it Janis: bollocks Janis: I never speak Janis: complained as much before Jimmy: I change my mind, you've complained before about that, mate Janis: just so unpredictable, babe Jimmy: 😎🚬 Janis: stop flirting with me Jimmy: you signed up for it Janis: true Janis: that's my answer Jimmy: [does some extra post about how much he misses her] Janis: pretty good, mate Jimmy: 🏆💪 Janis: you want me to walk this dog Jimmy: such an athlete 💕 Janis: you know it Janis: counts towards my IOU? Janis: like 25% maybe? Jimmy: Piss off Janis: worth a shot Jimmy: next time hit the 🎯 Janis: damn Janis: tough love Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Janis: so hot Jimmy: I know Janis: that's how your shifts going then Jimmy: when don't it? Jimmy: 😎🚬☕💰💰💰 Janis: new bio Jimmy: it'll be a big hit on tinder Janis: probably just do the last 3 Jimmy: can't rip off your bio, bit rude Janis: feel free Janis: goals! Jimmy: We that type of couple, yeah? Janis: #lookingforathird Jimmy: don't tell 💀👑 though Janis: I'm not going to jail if she pegs it in the sack, fuck that Jimmy: I'd break you out, baby 💕 Janis: why are YOU not going to jail too Janis: admitting you ain't pulling your weight 😏 Jimmy: They'll deport me back to Manchester #duh Janis: ugh, can't fake ldr Jimmy: you'll have to come with when I rescue you then Janis: works for me Janis: get out of here after-all Jimmy: 👍 Janis: have to let me tag-along 'til I learn the language tho Jimmy: fuck that, I'll crack on teaching you when I get back in a bit Janis: challenge accepted Jimmy: [okay but hear me out, what if she lowkey just stayed at his on and off the whole time] Jimmy: shouldn't be no challenge for a 🧠 or 👅 like yours, Judith Janis: [legit for her running away vibe that she would so I buy it tbh] Janis: I didn't wanna disrespect your culture Janis: being polite, like Jimmy: What culture and what decent manners? 😏 Janis: I'm catching on Janis: get me a flatcap wearing pipe smoking man in no time Jimmy: Ian is bound to show his face eventually, being my dad and the one on the lease an' all Jimmy: crack on Janis: assuming he don't wanna head back north though Janis: unless he's on the run Jimmy: he don't Jimmy: 💔 for you Janis: population ain't that low Jimmy: your chances ain't that high Jimmy: grim up there, ain't you heard? Janis: and I ain't Janis: queen of the north, bitch, watch me Jimmy: won't be there to 👀 you binned me off Janis: you Janis: teaching me northern now so you can ditch me then Jimmy: you Jimmy: 'cause you wanna chain a pipe with some 👴💕 Janis: your type, first of all Janis: so welcome for me being so accomodating about the type of third we want Jimmy: hot's hot, babe Jimmy: can't fight it Janis: 😂 Janis: then don't Jimmy: Alright Janis: good Janis: sorted Jimmy: all in a day's work Janis: mhmm Janis: tip you later Jimmy: if anyone else said that they'd be out on their ear, you know Janis: I'm special, you know Jimmy: Me and everyone who follows me 💕 Janis: I get it Janis: you want a post too Janis: hold up Janis: [some post about waiting for him to come back and a selfie on his bed like hey] Jimmy: well done for finding the right bed Janis: tnat could've been awkward Janis: where does your da sleep, actually Jimmy: garage Janis: ahh Jimmy: not in a car, like Janis: 💔 shame Jimmy: for his birds, yeah Jimmy: can't drive themselves away now Janis: 😬 Janis: who am i meant to be Janis: btw Janis: if I bump into the man Jimmy: What kind of question is that? Janis: idk, a valid one? Jimmy: Why ain't you who you always are? Jimmy: a more valid one that Janis: I meant more like, do you have your fam or your socials or no Janis: am I your fake girlfriend to them or just a mate, like Jimmy: can't keep them off Jimmy: must be my 🥇 content Janis: who could resist Jimmy: exactly Jimmy: [sends a 🔥 sext cos #mood after what she posted] Jimmy: treat your followers, mate Janis: 😏 Janis: too kind Jimmy: it's been said Janis: should run a hotline in your spare time Janis: 💰💰💰 Jimmy: How do you know I don't? Jimmy: other than the state of my room Janis: yeah aside from that Janis: literally that special, obvs mate Jimmy: Gotta keep you in 🚬 Jimmy: might bankrupt a lesser lad Janis: psh, I ain't the one with the habit Janis: and why I picked you, babe 😘 Jimmy: of all the bollocks to fake, Jasmine Janis: what Jimmy: I've 👀 yous and 👂 about the pipe you crave Jimmy: can't fool me Janis: 1. filth Janis: 2. very in to be a social smoker, just playing along with what they'd do Jimmy: 1. you better not be filthy in my bed Jimmy: 2. I'll pick you up a vape pen on my way home, yeah? Janis: 1. I'm not gonna hot box your room, better house guest than that, just Janis: 2. if you want me to peg you, just ask Jimmy: 1. Free house law, wouldn't be nowt I could do Jimmy: 2. sure that'd be very #goals but you're alright Janis: 1. see, you want me to really, perv Janis: 2. leave it at the smoke shack then, boy Jimmy: 1. you wanna really Jimmy: 2. what kind of boyfriend if I don't bring you 🎁 Janis: 1. even if I did, get what you said about this dog, won't leave me alone, what's it called? Janis: 2. bring me a ☕ Jimmy: 1. Too late to call her Mia or? Jimmy: 2. What do you actually want then? Janis: 1. 😂 no the 🐶 is too cute for that don't be mean Janis: 2. idk, what kind of smoothies do you do, something like that Jimmy: 1. You're right, she ain't half starved Jimmy: 2. 👍 Janis: 1. have to call RSPCA on you, not #goals Janis: 2. tah Jimmy: Be a quality break up story that Janis: shelf it for later Janis: no dogs actually harmed though, tah Janis: not co-signing that Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: fine Janis: you got a brother and a sister, right? Jimmy: You had a nose around my house or my 📷 IG? Janis: found the right bed on my 2nd attempt Janis: and pretty sure you've mentioned them Janis: but yeah, what kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn't stalk all your socials Jimmy: A sane one Jimmy: yet to have one of them so crack on Janis: if I was sane they'd call me a nun Janis: gotta play to the audience Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: for you Janis: find one one day Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: cute Jimmy: I am, yeah Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: convincing denial, babe Janis: get it, you want me to tell you how cute you ain't, that's your kink Janis: busy though Jimmy: I don't want you to tell me what you're busy with in my bed though, tah Janis: walking this dog Janis: or getting it ready to Janis: idiot Jimmy: Don't bother, it's alright Janis: may as well, no Jimmy: If you want a 🥇 over my sister whose job it is Janis: oh will she be pissed off Janis: can always have 2 walks Jimmy: cute Jimmy: scared of her an' all? Janis: yeah obvs Janis: just trying not to be a dick to your fam and all Janis: they ain't done nothing to me Jimmy: Yet Jimmy: she could take you in a scrap, mate Janis: alright doubt that Janis: not gonna fight a child either you dick Jimmy: 🙀 you Janis: ain't you got hipsters and basic white girls to serve Jimmy: but my 1st priority is always you, girl 💕 Janis: thrilled about that, obvs Jimmy: I know Janis: feel the love Jimmy: 😘 Janis: you sure you wanna give up your bed Janis: I got places I can go Jimmy: I get it, it don't have a princess canopy Jimmy: you'll live Janis: but will I sleep Jimmy: alright you can borrow my 😎 Jimmy: stop begging Janis: 😂 Janis: and I ain't begging, let's get that clear Janis: told you, got options Jimmy: and I told you, alright Jimmy: you can calm down now, my dear Jimmy: the better option is you 📷🐕💕 Janis: just saying, don't make me feel more like a cunt than I already do Janis: but obvs Janis: suckers for cuteness every time Jimmy: Leave it, I'll live too Jimmy: just don't lose the 🔑 that's our Cass' job an' all Janis: 🤞 Jimmy: #whenshedon'twantyouto💀💀💀 Janis: 💕 Janis: wait 'til I've worked on your old man so I've got an in, like Jimmy: he'll give you an alibi for 🔪🔪💀💀 long as it's only me Janis: that's the lowdown on them then Janis: what about your brother, he gonna come for me too? Jimmy: Depends, you got it in you to piss off a 6 year old or not? Janis: don't really do kids Janis: can't be as annoying as the ones I know though, not related to me for a start Jimmy: Related to me though 😏 Jimmy: just admit you 💕 me, babe Janis: shut up Janis: I'm related to my siblings and I'm great Janis: poor kid stands a chance Jimmy: He's related to Ian, no he don't Janis: bummer Janis: take him with when you get deported? Jimmy: quickest way to get arrested again that Jimmy: use your big head Janis: pretend he's yours Janis: who'd know Jimmy: Piss off I'm northern not a paddy Janis: alright and your ex ain't got a kid nah Jimmy: that's a 👶 not a kid Janis: true Janis: yeah 9 might be insane Janis: can you grow bum fluff, age yourself up before the 🚬 do Jimmy: I dunno Janis: tell him he's like 4 Janis: buy you as 18, sorted Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: that your way of telling me you wanna go pub in a bit then? Janis: duh Janis: i am part paddy Jimmy: How big's the % Jimmy: might be a dealbreaker Janis: 50% Janis: 25% scouse 25% brazilian Jimmy: Made you do maths in the holidays 😏 Janis: 🤓 Jimmy: *😎 Jimmy: *👻 an all Jimmy: any chance you can say you're 💀💀💀 so I can leave? Janis: well my irish fam ain't even from this part of ireland but keep that to yourself 🤐 already got the ropes out, like Janis: only so many funerals I can have but sure Jimmy: I'll keep your real kinks to myself too Jimmy: put the ropes away though you'll wind up the 🐕 Janis: 💕 Janis: boo, no fun Jimmy: 🤐 Jimmy: Best fake boyfriend you've ever had, sweetheart Janis: competition of one but 🏆 Janis: there you are Jimmy: tah Janis: fake win for a fake boy Janis: only right Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: about to pull a fake sickie, me Janis: that is actual smart though so Jimmy: and you owe me some fake nursing Jimmy: might as well cash in Janis: yeah? Jimmy: send me one of the nudes 💀👑 has sent you so I can 🤢 Janis: 😂 Janis: just don't leak 'em Janis: for my eyes only, obvs 🙄 Jimmy: I promise Janis: [sends her the latest god knows what Mia has been sending for the lols] Jimmy: she's Janis: in love with me? Janis: yeah Janis: don't be threatened Jimmy: but my fragile masculinity though! 😱😱😱 Janis: I'll nurse it better baby Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: put the outfit on, I'll be there in a bit Janis: 😏 Janis: alright Jimmy: 😘 Jimmy: [is there when she gets back from walking Twix because it was a long walk and he's a sneaky speedy mofo] Janis: ['fancy seeing you here' 🤓] Jimmy: [hands her the smoothie he's made specially] Janis: [is doing a #skeptical face but changes it to a 'not bad' when she tries it] Jimmy: [gives her a look like go on then, tell me what's wrong with it but goes to put kettle on for his self #northern] Janis: ['ain't just resident eye candy then, good to know'] Jimmy: [does a bow cos nerd] Janis: [just giving Twix love whilst he makes tea, shouts through 'so you gonna show me where it hurts or am I guessing?' like you don't need to play nurse yet eager bitch] Jimmy: [you know he's making her one even though she's literally got a smoothie so who else is eager, comes through with said tea after a bit and puts the mugs down so he can put a hand over his heart like an even bigger nerd] Janis: [make pouty poor boy face 'might be incurable, that'] Jimmy: ['if you can't do it, you can't' shrugs] Janis: ['making it a challenge?'] Jimmy: [sips tea with an eyebrow raised like a sassy bitch] Janis: [lols, 'okay, so your face muscles are working fine, I get it' casually squishing his face 'cos cheeky too] Jimmy: [when you give her a little smooch but it's FINE cos you've got your phone out okay] Janis: [#allforthegramsureboys how many people really wanna see you making out erryday like some yeah you fine but still] Jimmy: [we know you ain't even holding that phone properly boy and then you won't post it cos you'll say it's too blurry or whatever] Janis: [one of these days you gon just drop it and the pretense but not yet] Jimmy: [soon kids, just hold on] Janis: ['how's the heart now? just challenging to go further oh lads] Jimmy: [puts her hand over said heart like that's nbd and not at all dangerous, with a shrug like I ain't dead yet so] Janis: [we all know it'd be beating pretty fast so bold Jimothy, just looking at her hand on his chest 'cos 'real question is, do you want it to be better or do you wanna..' when you trail off but we get it] Jimmy: ['more goals if I die for you, Juliet'] Janis: [when you're taking that as a yes #bothproblematic and you just kick it up to an actual make out sec again phone is out but who cares] Jimmy: [both of you just going for it like this isn't a dangerous game, impressed that you ain't dropped that phone tbh] Janis: [also your teas going cold, jussayin, when you just straddle his lap but don't sit] Jimmy: [OMG THE TEA] Janis: [my boo like nooooo stop rn and finish that brew] Jimmy: [gonna have to microwave that in a bit] Janis: [least Twix can bark 'cos jealous and they'll think someone's about to run up in so even if they ain't it then breaks the moment] Jimmy: [Good 🐕 yeah let's not have Cass descend yet cos she can always cockblock another moment should we need] Jimmy: [just drinking that tea casually now like nothing happened okay] Janis: [my thoughts exactly, at least Janis can love said cockblocking dog now 'cos awkward] Jimmy: [#true love] Janis: [doing that post about how he's poorly/playing nurse etc gotcha covered boy] Jimmy: [doing flirty replies so you can safely flirt lol] Janis: [so blatant lads] Janis: you seen that lot today? Jimmy: [nods] Janis: shoulda messaged us Janis: final fuck you to 'em before I go, like Jimmy: soz there were a rush on Janis: no worries, got a day now Janis: drop in tomorrow, undoubtedly be there Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [just picked up his lighter and are playing with it Jimmy: brb Janis: 👌 Jimmy: [comes back in a bit with art hoe supplies so he can draw her] Janis: ['homework?'] Jimmy: [shows her what he's doing] Janis: [when you try to be casual and 😏 about it but are immediately like oh and self-conscious of how you look rn 'am I meant to pose or what?'] Jimmy: [just shrugs because he's helpful like that lol 'Do you want it to turn out decent or not?' because challenge always like be my muse bitch] Janis: [🙄 'if you wanna be goals you'll draw me pretty no matter what' but is her usual effortless model self 'cos 'course she can] Jimmy: [🙄 back 'By now I've had plenty of practice at faking I reckon you are, no challenge or owt'] Janis: [sighs 'must be nice having good taste, even if it's pretend, welcome' 😘] Jimmy: [sighs back dramatically without looking up from the page 'be nicer if you stopped moving your lips, dickhead'] Janis: ['mr serious artiste needs to concretrate, okay, okay' mimes zipping 'em] Jimmy: [makes a scoff news but in the next second you know he's doing a cute lil concentration face] Jimmy: [*noise] Janis: [stealth taking a picture of that 'cos is cute] Jimmy: [chewing on that pen like a cute mofo also how confident not to use pencil boy] Janis: [like you've drawn her before lol Jimmy: [giving yourself well away] Janis: [what does one even do when getting drawn, just getting so comfy on that couch, so confident bitch] Jimmy: [at least his doodle style wouldn't take an age] Janis: [trulyfe] Jimmy: [lowkey shoving it at her like well I'm done and soooo not bothered haha] Janis: [when you can't be like I LOVE IT 'cos 1. a picture of yourself 2. you're not meant to be bothered either but you do love so you're like 'you're actually good then' like fairplay] Jimmy: [when you can't deal with even such a lowkey compliment so you have to leave the room and pretend like it's cause the dog is being so annoying like fuck off to the kitchen Twix you slag but also the awks is radiating off you so she's gotta be aware] Janis: [just pocketing that drawing, like] Janis: wanna 🚬? Jimmy: [when you don't answer you just head out there] Janis: [leaves it a hot sec like well am I invited or nah but then decides to go out regardless] Jimmy: [sit on that trampoline kids] Jimmy: [when you light up for her even though you feel awks cos habit] Janis: [takes it and lies back on the trampoline looking up at the sky and smoking] Jimmy: [shamelessly looking at her while she can't see him do it as if he didn't spend however long doing that when he was drawing, okay boy] Janis: ['s'comfy' and closing her eyes 'cos in my mind she's probably had a couple nights out in town already 'cos usually how she'd do before running] Jimmy: [takes off his jacket or hoodie or whatever and spreads it over her like a blanket cos nerd] Janis: [when you just allow that] Jimmy: [Twix just jumping on her because can't get a moment gdi] Janis: [at least she can get her to settle next to her like shh] Jimmy: [just texting Cass like where are you btw because can't join in with the snuggle] Janis: [a fair point also gotta tell her dis bitch staying over like] Jimmy: [really lingering over this convo because what to say or what to do, god bless him] Janis: [she's just oblivious soz lol] Jimmy: [after a while just poking her like 'You hungry or what?'] Janis: ['oi' but getting up, leaning on her elbows 'yeah, I could eat, want me go get something?'] Jimmy: [pushes her back down but gently cos he's gonna go and does] Janis: charming Janis: wanna go twos at least Jimmy: Obviously not, 'cause yeah I am such a 👑 charming, like Jimmy: I gotta pick my brother up anyway Janis: don't be stealing my shoes Janis: know they'd probably fit you but still, not even fake like that Janis: 👍 Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: I've touched your feet and I wouldn't be caught 💀💀💀 Janis: nothing wrong with my feet Jimmy: If you want sell pics to pervs, crack on Jimmy: #notmykink Janis: make a lot off that Janis: I don't need it Janis: 👑💰 Jimmy: hand it over my way then Janis: called being a pimp, that Jimmy: alright so if anyone asks, this convo's fake Janis: alright, rebrand to manager and you get 20% Janis: all in the details, boy Jimmy: Am I signing in 🩸 or that only the 💀💌? Janis: what you so hesitant for Janis: my fucking feet Janis: 🗡 least you can do is suffer Jimmy: I were wondering how much of my bodily fluids you're gonna want over the course of this bollocks Janis: don't be so crude Janis: talking about making softcore fetish porn here, not your emissions, thanks very much Janis: be professional Jimmy: become a nun after you 💔 me not before Janis: you can't 💔 Janis: become a priest if you want access to that untapped source of 😻 Jimmy: You, dickhead Janis: not gay Jimmy: No shit Janis: shut up Jimmy: you Janis: you, dickhead Jimmy: You're a bigger dickhead Janis: awh, it's mm if at all, don't worry 💕 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: how long you reckon you'll be Jimmy: Depends Janis: yeah but Janis: rough estimate Jimmy: Yeah but are you gonna tell me what you wanna eat or have I gotta guess? Janis: get whatever you lot want Janis: I'll eat anything Jimmy: Then I'll be a bit longer than it takes 💀👑 to slide in your DMs whenever you post but not as long as it takes her to take no for an answer Jimmy: alright? Janis: 👍 Janis: gonna go for a run then Jimmy: I won't let the 🐕 know 💔 Janis: can't keep friends, me Janis: soz babe Jimmy: my fault, should've warned her what you're like Janis: you'd have to know for that Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: at it again, you Janis: what, we mates now Jimmy: who's asking? Janis: who do you think Janis: 🐕 hasn't mastered the phone Jimmy: I don't reckon you have any need to ask, Jennifer Jimmy: there's your answer Janis: alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: Stop trying to friendzone me, babe Jimmy: It ain't #goals Janis: you're ridiculous Jimmy: I ain't the one asking questions I know the answers to Jimmy: such a girl, you Janis: and I'm the know-it-all Janis: ok bighead Jimmy: I get it, you don't wanna share the 🏆 Janis: you who don't wanna share Jimmy: What you on about? Jimmy: I love sharing, me Janis: nah Janis: ain't that bad a roomie, like Janis: don't ask gracie though Jimmy: don't ask her round, don't ask her questions, you don't want much, you Janis: shut up Janis: how often you have to see her, welcome the break Janis: I would Jimmy: I do Janis: exactly, don't complain, boy Jimmy: Or what? Janis: plenty of ways to shut you up Jimmy: Go on then Janis: 🔇 Janis: feel that mute Jimmy: 🎻🎻still playing on Janis: sorry what was that? Jimmy: come here, grub is Janis: okay, be right there Jimmy: 😘 Janis: don't make me 🤢 into it like Jimmy: but that sounds so hot 💕 Jimmy: bit rude of you to take the spotlight though Jimmy: it were my sickie Janis: oh yeah, soz Janis: be a better patient and I'll be a better nurse Jimmy: be 🥇 and it wouldn't matter Janis: weren't me, was the dog Janis: but okay, round 2 Jimmy: ain't even fed me 🍇 or nowt Jimmy: 💔🎻💔 Janis: 😂 you aren't a roman emperor Jimmy: I'm on my fake deathbed here Janis: so I've gotta spoil you, yeah Jimmy: do something Janis: been trying Janis: saying, have your bed back, I'll take the floor Jimmy: I don't want my bed back Janis: tell me what you want Jimmy: I have done Janis: get the grapes then shall I Janis: brb, detour Jimmy: come and eat, dickhead Janis: well alright Janis: later then Jimmy: I don't even like 🍇 alright Janis: see, how can I win Janis: honestly, setting me up, shame 😏 Jimmy: I'll spit them out off 📷 Jimmy: we can make it work Janis: you baby Janis: you can swallow Jimmy: alright, I'll do it for you 💕 Janis: true love Janis: [show up for this dinner moment] Jimmy: [Bobby and Twix casually cockblocking but not cos he made the kid sit up the table #smart while they can stay on the sofa where they make all their mems but Cass not because we may need her to actually in a bit] Janis: [good thinking boy, also Janis casually breathing a sigh of relief 'cos feels weird meeting his fam whilst it's fake tbh, not Ian fuck Ian but rude on the kids, like] Jimmy: [can you remember his house layout like was it open plan or what was the situation?] Janis: [nah we did a more closed off moment 'cos a rented house, like they had a lil hall, the garage off to one side, then the lounge then the kitchen with a table Jimmy: [okay yeah I do vaguely remember the sims house now] Janis: [so tuck in lads] Jimmy: [when it should be more awks than it is #foreverthemood] Janis: [moves so fast 'cos you so extraaaa] Jimmy: [so comfortable with each other even with all your #issues lads, love it] Janis: [#fated] Jimmy: [when you go get her a drink so you can check Twix ain't stole all Bobby's food and generally be a good big brother on the low] Janis: [yes, tis important, can't be allowed to just chill like you ain't got responsibilities] Jimmy: [she can just hear them being cute in that kitchen like] Janis: [a moment, good thing Bobby likes her when the time comes because she's not so extra with kids and in his face] Jimmy: [not always a 😒 sod, are you Jimothy? lol it's my fave when they are such a cute lil fam unit bye Ian] Janis: [we know you soft boy, and yas casually kick him out of his own home #notsoz] Jimmy: [he's back and he's raided his shit dad's stash cos never too early #fuckyouIan] Janis: [raising your brow but doing a golf clap #approved] Jimmy: [doing a cheers at her] Janis: ['you slipped the kid a nightcap, yeah?'] Jimmy: ['You wish' 😏] Janis: [😳😒] Janis: ['I meant, what passes as parenting 'round here, dickhead'] Jimmy: [to answer her question he goes to clear the table cos the little bab wants to 🎨] Janis: [get your art on babby] Jimmy: [such an unspoken I do, dickhead if there ever was one] Janis: [so domestic] Jimmy: [comes back to drink that drink and put some bollocks on the TV that neither of them care about] Janis: [standard, when you've basically downed yours 'cos nervous energy] Jimmy: [gives her a look but doesn't say anything] Janis: [a 'what?' look] Jimmy: [one back but we know he means what's wrong] Janis: [shakes head like don't worry, I'm good] Jimmy: ['Do you wanna go to my room?' Oh the MANY layers of meaning in that] Janis: [when you shrug 'if you like' but you clearly do 'cos you're halfway up] Jimmy: [when you bring more drinks as a shameless excuse to follow her cos you don't know if she meant she wants to be alone or she wants to be alone with you and you can't ask] Janis: ['purely medicinal, yeah?'] Jimmy: [a nod] Janis: [shrugs 'better than grapes' then puts out her hand 'do I get one?'] Jimmy: ['do you want one?' but in such a flirty manner that there is no need for] Janis: ['you know I do' matching tone 'cos obvs] Jimmy: ['take it then' boy you better stop] Janis: [does, sipping maintaining that eye contact honey] Jimmy: [likewise because gotta] Janis: ['stay' when you gotta add, quickly after a pause 'or I'll feel bad'] Jimmy: [when you make yourself comfortable cos you can make a big song and dance of doing it and hide how much you're dying rn 'can't have that, meant to be me' does the fakest cough of all time and 😏] Janis: ['oh right, yeah get in then' making a thing of getting your phone out and ready to give yourselves some time 'cos ultimately you're gonna hop on that bed and straight up put his head in your lap so you can take a pic stroking his hair] Jimmy: [when you pretend like she's got something on her face and you've gotta get it before any pics are taken but we know there isn't anything there and the boy is just being extra] Janis: ['better?' is she referring to her face or how he feels, we'll never know] Jimmy: [responds by taking her hair down #for the aesthetic bitch we all 👀 you just wanting to run your fingers through it bye] Janis: [still just stroking his hair but pulls it (gently calm down) when he takes hers down 'this is about you, not me'] Jimmy: ['it's about you an' all' when you gotta pause cos calm down with sounding like you care and also how much you wanna make that true in a sexy way 'whoever's story it ends up on'] Janis: [nods like alright and also what can she trust herself to say] Jimmy: [casually taking his top off like oh we should redo all of that as if anyone cares that much about the details #shameless] Janis: [when you're like true though and pull down whatever bottoms you have on like, gotta have that skin to skin moment bye] Jimmy: [trying not to die or look at her too shamelessly and failing at both lbr] Janis: [when you do an instagram story purely so you can kiss his forehead] Jimmy: [kill me tbh and I ain't even there] Janis: [how you gonna slow this down lads hohum] Jimmy: [literally cos we all know how he wants this his head in her lap situation to end and it isn't with a picture] Jimmy: [at least we have the kids and dog to cockblock] Janis: [true facts, gotta keep it family friendly] Jimmy: [me just forever being like how far can we push this before it's too far haha] Janis: [s'the point baby] Jimmy: [I'm thinking] Jimmy: [we need something #intimate to happen and bonus points if it's the first time too but idk] Jimmy: [not the #cute moment I was trying to think of but #duh while we've got them here we should do the ultimate playfight cliche since on a bed it's BLATANT and like she could poke him as a trampoline throwback cos they're still just lying there together #casual and be all I thought you'd fallen asleep cos pisstake at how tired he always is and of course like I said playfight ensues and we've got all that good shit like him tickling her and her squirming way more than necessary 👀 you both so of course he pins her down but not really cos we all know you could escape easily if you wanted to 👀 you still and SO much good eye contact and he pulls her hair and she bites her lip and he stares at it but OBVS before they can kiss Cass storms back through with a front door slam that puts Grace's school trip one to shame and has Twix wilding] Jimmy: [which leaves him nothing to do but say fuck's sake with more feeling than anyone has ever for all the reasons and go downstairs to talk to her aka have a row cos she's always in the mood and so's he now] Janis: [A+ idea boo] Janis: [whichever door they ain't at, she goes out] Jimmy: [don't blame you remotely girl] Janis: [lets some time pass] Janis: if you want anything bringing back, lmk Jimmy: ? Janis: ? Janis: what does that mean, easy enough question, ain't it Jimmy: What do you mean? Janis: that I've gone out, and if you need some milk or some shit, I'll bring some back later Janis: not offering to do a drugs run for you, soz Jimmy: and I've been out so what the fuck else would I need Janis: alright, simple no would suffice Jimmy: Would it? Janis: try it and find out Jimmy: You wish Janis: 🙄 Janis: not that arsed Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: sounds like it Janis: your lack of manners ain't my concern Janis: didn't ask you to say thanks or anything Jimmy: You can have it anyway Jimmy: tah for doing one when I'm up to my eyes here Janis: yeah, you're welcome, sarcasm ignored Janis: nothing I could do Jimmy: try it and find out Janis: like what, read your brother a bedtime story whilst you bollock your sister Jimmy: like not take the 1st chance you can to fuck off Janis: was giving you space to sort it out in private, actually Jimmy: bollocks Janis: how is that bollocks Jimmy: how ain't it? Janis: did I look ready to go out to you or what Janis: not got anything else to do in this town tonight Jimmy: Wouldn't know, didn't get a goodbye in Janis: fuck's sake Jimmy: You pissed off 'cause it got too real for you, owt else is bollocks Janis: you reckon that all you want Jimmy: Deny it all you want Jimmy: you can be full of chat about 'how this will only work if...' and how we need each other but you ain't standing by it Jimmy: gotta keep me in my box and that ain't the 4 walls of this house, yeah? Jimmy: Like I said, too real Janis: Stop being dramatic and chatting shite Janis: if that were it, I wouldn't offer to come back, would I Janis: I'd go, as planned Jimmy: Then what? Janis: what I said, dickhead Janis: I know what it is when everyone knows your family's shit Janis: I was getting out the way Jimmy: That were nowt Jimmy: you're gonna need a thicker fake skin, girl Janis: shut up Jimmy: Funny how you don't get in my way when there's washing up to be done, rich girl Janis: yeah, you caught me Jimmy: dry handed Jimmy: I know, like Janis: you're so unfunny it's unreal Jimmy: unreal is right Jimmy: you reckon you're getting my best material Janis: please, save it Jimmy: please, give me your permission again Jimmy: desperate for it, me Janis: no shit Janis: total gimp, you, s'obvious Jimmy: I get it, you want the mental pictures Jimmy: gotta do something with the alone time you've given yourself by doing one Janis: Means I've got 'em Janis: you owe me another lobotomy, or an acid deep clean Jimmy: put it on my tab, babe Janis: take it off mine and we're quits Janis: better idea Jimmy: Piss off Janis: I get it, you want me forever in your debt Jimmy: 'course I do Janis: mhmm Janis: like I said, transparent 👻 boy Jimmy: buy us 🚬 and I might let you back in 🧛 girl Jimmy: how's that for clear? Janis: pretend I don't know how much you want me back, crystal 👌 Jimmy: that's the 🐕 sweetheart, it ain't me Janis: whatever, the washing up moan was more convincing, babe Jimmy: done my convincing for the night, haven't I? Janis: part-timer Jimmy: keep it to yourself Janis: you ain't the only lad Janis: sure they'll find it very #relatable Jimmy: shut up Janis: 😂 Jimmy: such a dickhead Janis: you love being the best boyfriend in town, don't you Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Jimmy: you know the drill Janis: sure do Jimmy: You not pulling your weight only makes me look better Jimmy: so understanding and 💕 all that bollocks Janis: fuck off Janis: I do well more than you, boys just get sucked off for doing the literal bare minimum in any scenario, especially not being a total twat to girls Janis: don't get it twisted, dickhead Jimmy: you can have a 🏆 for the dance floor, that's about it Janis: bullshit Janis: you've got the easy job Janis: I've turned every bitch from saying I'm gay as a diss to being scared I'll steal their lad in no time Jimmy: You had one rumour about you 💔 I've got loads Jimmy: gotta keep up with them and prove them wrong Jimmy: 😎🚬 Janis: you don't listen as well as you reckon Janis: 💩 Jimmy: might be 'cause you had my 👂s off Janis: get over it Janis: how you ever cope with having a real girlfriend Jimmy: never baby 💕 Janis: idiot Jimmy: stop flirting with me for 1 sec OMG Jimmy: proper sweet talker, you Janis: about as delusional as her Janis: and as much chat Jimmy: actually 💔 now Janis: ikr Janis: imagine actually being her Janis: gutting Jimmy: you're alright, tah, I won't Janis: but you love the pain Janis: what's up? Jimmy: Better ways to get a dose of it, like inviting you down the pub Jimmy: coming or what? Janis: cute 💕 Janis: guess so Janis: have to disappoint some lads but that's just how it is when you're so in demand Jimmy: so much enthusiasm be still my 💘 Jimmy: one on the corner, I'll be the mug getting them in Janis: 👍 Janis: not been gone that long Janis: remember what you look like Jimmy: #unforgettable Jimmy: send tweet Janis: 😂 Janis: I'll sign off on that Janis: pretty odd looking, it sticks with you Jimmy: You can do better Jimmy: with insults and lads obvs Janis: 🤷 I mean Janis: I'm sure you can get lads too, mate Jimmy: 👴💕 Janis: 😂 that's why you wanna go pub Janis: how rude to invite me Jimmy: you wanted a third, babe Janis: well we gotta agree Jimmy: do owt to please you, you know that Janis: 🤤 Jimmy: 😍 Janis: cute Janis: don't reckon there's any fitting another person in your bed though Janis: have to wait Jimmy: the lounge has got loads of floor space, be alright Janis: oh right, lock the dog in the kitchen and the kids in their rooms Janis: it's a party Jimmy: 🤞 Ian's in here having an after work #sesh so I can whip his 🔑 off him an' all Janis: oh, a good point Janis: no one needs that Jimmy: Our 🎉 been pissed on 'cause I don't 👀 him Jimmy: @iantaylor8 do one, mate 👍 Janis: put a DND on the door Janis: old school Jimmy: DNR on the 👴💕 Janis: standard practice when you're 😈 Jimmy: you stopped blagging you're 😇 now then? Janis: can do both, multi-talented Jimmy: Good Jimmy: dunno how I feel about the end of an era Janis: you like good girls, huh Janis: don't be spreading that about me, tah Jimmy: don't get #badder than my ex so from now on, yeah Jimmy: but alright, your secret halo is safe Janis: 🍻 drown those sorrows, I'm nearly there Jimmy: had loads of 🍺 and 👴💕 already tah Jimmy: you'll have to go some to keep up Janis: slag 😏 Jimmy: don't be spreading that about me Jimmy: fighting lasses off every day as is Janis: you poor thing Janis: did you not think about just going gay Janis: fake gay, that is Jimmy: I know 🎻🎻 things I do for you, Jules Jimmy: just ain't believable that Janis: what, you're SO straight 😂 Jimmy: I mean, this lad at work is a right stunner but getting him to be my fake boyfriend would be a bit harder than it were getting you to make 😍 at me Jimmy: he's proper busy with the ☕ Janis: piss off Jimmy: needed a rich girl with nowt to do Janis: don't need to repeat myself, thanks, see above Jimmy: 😏 Janis: don't smirk at me cunt Jimmy: 🤤🤤🤤 then Janis: go away Janis: was a school trip, no one had anything better to do Jimmy: come here Janis: outside Janis: got your cigarettes Jimmy: [appears like oh hey just casually sticking his head out the door and looking around dramatically like ?? cos nerd] Janis: [🙄 'you really are a shit actor, you know'] Jimmy: [shrugs 'got everyone I need to fooled'] Janis: [a shrug 'if you say so' and holding out the pack, which she's already taken one from] Jimmy: ['you just heard me' takes one obvs] Janis: ['what's that count for' when you've bought your own lighter so you've lit your own #ultimateshade] Jimmy: [🙄 how weird it'd feel to just light his own at this point like] Janis: [awkward] Jimmy: [awkward silent moody smoking ftw] Janis: [always] Jimmy: [leaning against the wall to show how #overit you are, oh life] Janis: 😎 Jimmy: *😎🚬 Janis: thanks to me Jimmy: and what? Jimmy: 👏 Janis: begins with a t Jimmy: you are being a twat, yeah Jimmy: 👍 Janis: very clever Jimmy: 🏆🧠 Janis: go celebrate then, dickhead Jimmy: gimme chance to finish my 🚬 damn girl Janis: [walks further away to finish hers] Jimmy: [walks up to her cos that dickhead] Janis: ['What part of this aren't you getting?'] Jimmy: [just giving her a look like what] Janis: ['I said, go away, remember'] Jimmy: ['what's that count for, you said that an' all, remember'] Janis: ['you're so fucking- annoying'] Jimmy: ['Is coming here gonna make me any less annoying?'] Janis: ['what?'] Jimmy: [gestures for her to come in the pub and have a drink with him] Janis: [when you're just looking at him exasperated af but then stomp in before him] Jimmy: [gets drinks and puts hers down in front of her like there you go without asking what she wanted, bit rude] Janis: [doesn't say thanks, obvs] Jimmy: [when you've swapped awkward silent moody 🚬 for awkward silent moody 🍺] Janis: [#goals lmao] Jimmy: [truly] Jimmy: You're Jimmy: [when you deliberately are vague af] Janis: go on Janis: say what you wanna say Jimmy: You're just Jimmy: [when you shake your head like NOPE abort mission] Janis: fine Janis: [🙄 and getting up to get more drinks] Jimmy: [forever not realising drinks aren't a good idea you two, god bless] Janis: [when you're probably chatting more to the bartender than you are to the person you're with rn oh lads] Jimmy: [when seeing that'd put you in an even better mood which is great Jimothy thanks so much] Janis: [coming back, putting the drinks down, then going straight to the bogs like brb] Jimmy: [you know he'll have probably downed that by the time she gets back #suchfun] Janis: [back like okay] Janis: how many you had? Jimmy: [shrugs because not enough clearly] Janis: cheat Jimmy: 1. didn't accept no challenge Jimmy: 2. rebel with only one cause, remember Jimmy: 3. you famously don't play by the rules, why should I? Janis: 1. you said catch up Janis: 2. how can i Janis: 3. dickhead Jimmy: I said you'd have to be going some Jimmy: and you will Janis: Oh, will I? Jimmy: you heard Jimmy: crack on Janis: wow love it when you get all demanding Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: Missed you too Janis: 'course Janis: 💘 Jimmy: [just on his phone like a rude bitch, I'm like LORD let that booze kick in soon please] Janis: [lol like boy you asked her here, twice] Jimmy: [HONESTLY give it up bitch you're ridiculous] Janis: 💬 Jimmy: 🍻 Janis: your turn Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: [goes] Janis: third? Jimmy: Why you trying to make me do maths in the holidays? Janis: the maths is would you bang the barman or nah Jimmy: would you? Janis: [shamelessly staring like 🤔 at this poor man who's probably 30 odd and not cute enough to go there like soz] Janis: not by first choice, nah Jimmy: There's your answer then Janis: considerate as ever, darling Jimmy: owt to please you, I said Janis: I know Janis: but we know what I said and all Jimmy: weren't listening me Janis: 👍 Jimmy: [puts drink in front of her with a look like you alright then?] Janis: [look back like are you? but nods too] Jimmy: [drinking instead of answering] Janis: ['I can go, if you've got shit to sort'] Jimmy: [shaking his head so casually but the 👀 are like DON'T] Janis: ['good, break my heart if you sent me back to that lot' smiles weakly like joking but not really] Jimmy: ['What kind of dickhead would take the only job you've ever had and turn it round on you, rich girl'] Janis: [🙄 'imagine'] Jimmy: ['don't wanna, it's bloody tragic'] Janis: [kicks him under the table, but not full pelt lol] Jimmy: [throws a beer mat at her with an oi but also not that hard obvs] Janis: [just ripping it up casually] Jimmy: 🎊👰💕 Janis: [😏] Janis: lemme know when you meet her and I'll practice my overarm Jimmy: throw it over whoever you wanna bring back, gimme the warning Jimmy: 🤞👴 Janis: [lols] Janis: [takes a big look around and shakes head like nah, not feeling it] Jimmy: I get it, Ian still ain't showed 💔 Jimmy: I'll get some 🎻🎻 on the box for you, mate Janis: ha 🖕 Janis: after careful consideration, I can't hack being your step mum, thanks but no thanks Jimmy: take the 🐕 leave the rest, I know Janis: nah, your sibs seem fine too, sure Ian is the daddy I've dreamed him to be too Janis: it's all you 💔 Jimmy: 😭😭😭 Janis: Poor baby Janis: want comforting again yeah Jimmy: Depends Janis: yes, it will be me doing the comforting Janis: can't guarantee anyone else at such short notice Jimmy: but are you gonna do what you did before or have you got new tricks? Janis: Depends Jimmy: On how much time you can blag for yourself by borrowing mine? Not much, girl Jimmy: not if you're using that one any road Janis: no Jimmy: Go on then Jimmy: what? Janis: on what angle you're hitting 📸 Janis: only so much the Instagram guidelines allow for Jimmy: that'll be every 💕 Janis: then what do you expect Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: 🥇 for the 'gram and 🥇 comforting ain't the same thing Janis: shocking, I know Jimmy: I said nowt about the 'gram that were you Janis: Why ever else would we do it? Janis: [a LOOK] Jimmy: [gives one back] Jimmy: might fancy snapchat Janis: only if they pay Janis: 60/40 me Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: you don't need the 💰💰 Janis: don't mean I work for free Jimmy: send me a bill then, babe Janis: after Jimmy: 👍 Janis: What were you gonna say Jimmy: When? Janis: Earlier Janis: you never said what I was Jimmy: nowt Janis: bollocks Janis: you can say it Janis: heard it all before Jimmy: I dunno Jimmy: leave it out Janis: fine Janis: drink up Janis: [goes bar] Jimmy: just Janis: don't bother, why'd you tell the truth anyway, yeah Jimmy: take whatever you said about me and replay it in a northern accent Jimmy: that'll do Janis: non-committal enough Janis: idek what I said so 👍 Jimmy: sorted, like Janis: sure Jimmy: I actually dunno though, alright Jimmy: what you are Janis: racist Janis: after you made me break down my heritage too Janis: plain rude Jimmy: bit rude to say I made you, Jill Janis: well, you to a T that Jimmy: you reckon you've got me to a T, yeah? Janis: want me to say I can't work you out and all? Jimmy: Do you want me to chat bollocks or leave it for you to do? Janis: chat something Jimmy: Why? Janis: 'cos why am I here otherwise Jimmy: you wanted a drink, you've got a drink Janis: when did I ask for a drink Jimmy: no need Jimmy: I dunno how to describe you in one word that don't mean I know nowt Jimmy: could've said pisshead for a start Janis: yeah you reckoned I smoked as well Janis: nice one columbo Jimmy: and as I'm so wrong you won't want one Jimmy: [struts out] Janis: I'm gonna drink yours, twat Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: well convincing it's only social, that Janis: what do you want me to say, I'll piss in it Janis: not that committed to fucking you up Jimmy: can't ever just leave it, can you? Jimmy: goes for nowt Janis: you started it Jimmy: you Janis: you you you Jimmy: how did I? Janis: you wouldn't tell me what you said Janis: now you've pissed off Jimmy: I fucking Jimmy: I went for a smoke 'cause I can admit it's a habit Janis: Well I'm not gonna lie 'cos you wanna hear I got a drinking problem or some shit Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: I've got other ways I deal with my shit, alright Jimmy: and I'm not trying to get an invite on a run, alright Janis: What you saying Janis: smoking isn't your thing, you don't own it Jimmy: it ain't yours either, you said Janis: I can do it as and when I want Jimmy: 👏🏆 Janis: oh, fuck off Jimmy: make up your mind Jimmy: you were trying to kick off at me for leaving your side a bit ago Janis: I'm fucking tired Janis: I'm going Jimmy: Let me finish my drink that you better not have touched and we'll go Janis: You can stay Jimmy: I don't want to Janis: okay Jimmy: [reappears to down that drink like come on then] Janis: [when you go to grab his hand instinctively 'cos ages of people watching you but then drop it like it's hot like shit] Jimmy: [when you just take her hand again anyway like you gotta drag her away from here kicking and screaming lol instead of the fact you know she wants to leave so badly that you didn't even sit down to neck that pint] Janis: ['when you get up in the night, don't stand on me, like'] Jimmy: [It ain't me with the freakishly long legs, girl. How do you reckon I'm gonna make that happen from the next room?'] Janis: [pouts] Jimmy: [gives her a look like ?? but less dickhead-ish than he's been doing it] Janis: [shakes head like nevermind] Jimmy: [cups her face because he can pretend he's being fake with it if he needs to even if the genuine soft tones of his voice could give him away if he knew how much of a #softboy he is 'what, babe?'] Janis: [acts like she's gonna bite his hand literal but just pushes it away hastily 'nothing, I thought you were staying'] Jimmy: ['I'll have the floor then'] Janis: [shakes head 'don't be stupid'] Jimmy: ['You'] Janis: ['s'your bed, dickhead'] Jimmy: [You're tired, dickhead. Just take it off me'] Janis: ['can sleep anywhere, like'] Jimmy: ['my bed'll suit you alright then'] Janis: [shakes head like no point arguing on this anymore] Jimmy: [gives her a look like too right there isn't cos you're having my bed, end of discussion] Janis: ['don't sleep on the floor' what does that mean what are you wondering what do you know] Jimmy: [nods which is about as cryptic, oh lads] Janis: ['your sister beat you in a fight then too?'] Jimmy: ['you saying you fancy your chances?' it's really hard to make everything a question omg] Janis: [😏 'only heard her so I ain't making any bets with you, tah'] Jimmy: [😏 'spoilsport'] Janis: ['cheat' tuts like honestly] Jimmy: ['don't be throwing words like that about out loud, tah'] Janis: [looks around dramatically 's'fine, don't reckon they're tailing us'] Jimmy: [takes her hand again and like swings it how you do to a kid while he also looks around dramatically] Janis: ['left your brother at home, mate' but not pulling away or stopping him ok] Jimmy: [when you'd normally have some #bants about that but you're tired too so you're just walking and handholding nbd] Janis: [a nice lil moment] Jimmy: [I feel like the pub ain't that far from his house so may as well enjoy that while it lasts kids] Janis: [exactly dr phil] Jimmy: [getting back and not knowing if your dad is home or not #joys (we know he isn't but Jimmy don't have that luxury) so you immediately get tense af] Janis: [awkward, get you up in the room girl] Jimmy: [when you have to go check your siblings and tell them you're back cos you all have separation anxiety but lowkey so your fake girlfriend don't think you're weird] Jimmy: need owt? Janis: nah, I'm good Janis: thanks Jimmy: [bringing her water anyway cos you don't want the night to be over yet in case she's gone in the AM #blatant] Janis: [just smiling like 'I'll give you 5 stars'] Jimmy: ['hang on, it ain't vodka, like'] Janis: ['lucky I don't throw it in your face then' 🙄😏] Jimmy: ['least I'd impress you by catching it in my mouth if it were'] Janis: ['right little optimist, you'] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: ['what other tricks you got then, boy?'] Jimmy: [Shrugs 'Don't have a dog to perform myself'] Janis: [yawns half shade/half actual] Jimmy: [when you're just leaving like okay then] Janis: ['oi'] Jimmy: [when you've basically got a hand on the door to go but you still turn around because of course you do] Janis: ['...night then' like that weren't all bitch we all know it] Jimmy: [You gonna be cold? It's april boy I doubt it but he's taking off his hoodie or jumper or whatever soft thing he's got on and putting it on her because just he just wants touch her without making that obvious but also CARES bitch] Janis: [nods all the same 'tuck us in then'] Jimmy: [does obvs, picking her up and carrying her there first if he needs to because idk if she's stood up like him by this door or wut] Janis: [allowing it 'cos I wanna] Jimmy: [when you open your mouth to say about 40000 things but you can't so you just close it again like nothing to see] Janis: ['yeah' 'cos same boy, same] Jimmy: ['I were just wondering if I should take your breakfast order but depends if I pull another sickie or bother to go in' boy you were not such a lie but that is a good question of what to do with tomorrow I'll give you that] Janis: ['make a thing of it and they might send you a fruit basket, or a search party, risk you could take, like' shrugs] Jimmy: ['if the search party's headed up by my best customers that's a massive risk, management not as much' shrugs back and once again attempts his exit] Janis: [turning over like okay night 'smoothie was good' re. if he does go in] Jimmy: [stopping like this is a mansion instead of a box room 'we can make a thing of it either way, if you want'] Janis: ['that'll be alright, yeah' when you're saying that into your pillow like hope you can hear] Jimmy: [when you nod but she can't see you] Janis: [let him go hoe] Jimmy: [I'm gonna say he does but do a little time skip to later because he can't sleep obvs and I have no chill] Jimmy: Hey Janis: what's up? Janis: beside you Jimmy: you an' all Jimmy: why ain't you asleep? Janis: sleeps for the weak, like Jimmy: gimme my bed back then Janis: I said you could have it from the off Jimmy: Go to sleep, dickhead Janis: why Jimmy: 😴💤 Janis: I know you didn't start a convo just to see if I was asleep or nah Jimmy: might've done Janis: could've popped your head 'round the door Janis: or made a shit joke about snoring keeping you up Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: 🐕 snores louder than anyone and she's in here anyway Janis: cosy Jimmy: I'll chuck her in with you if you're 💔 Jimmy: and awake Janis: if you like Janis: thought you were coming to get your bed anyway Jimmy: Got your name on it tonight, mate Janis: come on, I don't need it Janis: I'll crash on your sofa 'til it's light Janis: gone before any of 'em wake up, easy Jimmy: I don't need it either Jimmy: but if I have to tie owt round the door to keep you in, challenge accepted Janis: 😏 Janis: really Jimmy: I mean, 🤞 I tucked you in and you'll stay in, but alright Jimmy: 🏆💪 Janis: cute Janis: say you underestimate me but it's that optimism, yeah? Jimmy: I know how much you love it, babe Janis: hmm we'll be nice and say it's refreshing Jimmy: be nice and stay put instead of me having to rig a trip wire or some bollocks Janis: alright, alright Janis: no need to go home alone Janis: how long are you keeping me captive though Janis: things to do Jimmy: least if we were I might be able to sleep Jimmy: comes to something when you're the least annoying person I've shared a bed with Jimmy: let you out when it goes from #goals to #weird Janis: charming Janis: is he asleep or Jimmy: 👑 me Jimmy: he ain't 💀💀💀 Jimmy: that'll be me tomorrow if I go work Janis: well, if you let me go Janis: can rock up at opening time and tell them how sick you still are Jimmy: if I let you go, won't see you for dust Jimmy: such an athlete, like Janis: well yeah, I will go to the gym after Janis: just hoping it's the fit one opening obvs Jimmy: get your own fit colleagues, I 😍 him first Janis: 💔 I'm faster Jimmy: that'll be why I were 🥇 in a race against you Janis: 1. you cheat Janis: 2. sure he will if you beg hard enough, don't cry Jimmy: 1. shut up I can't hear the 🎻 over you being a massive 😭 loser Jimmy: 2. piss off Janis: oh please, your one good lung would collapse before you could even eat my dust in an actual race Jimmy: long as it holds out for me to go have a 🚬 Janis: 🙄 Janis: yay or nay to the actual plan though, idiot Jimmy: Well on board for a race to my 💀💀💀 death obvs 🎊 Janis: DO YOU WANT ME TO CALL IN SICK FOR YOU OR NO Jimmy: You can calm down, your boyfriend ain't opening up, no need to shout Jimmy: nowt in it for you either Janis: not an answer Jimmy: I don't have a smoothie maker here and I ain't cashing in an IOU on that bollocks Jimmy: there you go Janis: don't need one that bad Janis: but alright Janis: go sleep then Jimmy: not out here, it's freezing Jimmy: 🤞 when I get back in Janis: all that talk of 🚬 got you excited Jimmy: keep that 💕 between us though Janis: everyone's seen you Janis: clearly your 😎 appeal is so great, they'll deal with the bad breath Jimmy: but if they ask you're my 🥇 Janis: not forgot what we're doing here Janis: don't worry Jimmy: 👍 Janis: why'd you move here Jimmy: Why are you asking me? Jimmy: @iantaylor8 Janis: why not Janis: reasonable question Jimmy: reasonable that you've said you don't need or wanna know owt about me an' all Jimmy: What's changed? Janis: got time to kill, ain't we Jimmy: and that's what you wanna do with it? Janis: not my first choice Jimmy: do whatever is then Janis: just don't answer Jimmy: 🙀 is you, Judith Janis: then Janis: ? Janis: hardly a probing question, calm down Jimmy: he got a job here, I didn't fancy being homeless so I came with Jimmy: alright? Janis: why wouldn't it be Jimmy: I dunno the answer you want Janis: erm, the one that's real Janis: not asking for a bedtime story here Jimmy: force of habit Jimmy: our kid has to have 6 Janis: one for every year Janis: classic Janis: gets a bit out of hand when 10 of you try it though so Jimmy: thank fuck Ian ain't that fertile then Janis: 🤢 don't Janis: it's fucking grim Jimmy: 💔 my face fits Jimmy: can't say I ain't his Jimmy: can't knock yours that hard if most of your lot looks like you do Janis: diversitys lacking but he ain't the only black man about Janis: 🤷 Jimmy: yeah but 10 kids looking like that would get you all the 👶🏆 regardless Jimmy: well 9 'cause there's Grace Janis: shut up 🙄 Janis: beautiful baby competitions aren't that lucrative Jimmy: sure my ex is 💔💔💔 Janis: cute then? Janis: that's something Janis: most babies are ugly Jimmy: nah she'd have to rig it Jimmy: cheating comes natural though Janis: ouch Jimmy: 🤷 Jimmy: there's your bedtime story Janis: not meant to be sad Janis: no wonder he's after 6 Janis: happily ever after, dickhead Jimmy: I ain't still with her 💍👶👰 so it were Jimmy: and far as he knows we're 💕 Janis: well I won't get pregnant to end this so Janis: still coming off favourably Jimmy: Ian will be chuffed Jimmy: and what greater seal of approval is there? Janis: idk Janis: starting to question his existense tbh Janis: 😎 runs in the genes too, yeah Jimmy: 👻 does Janis: same Janis: definitely not related Jimmy: don't worry I ain't gonna come round yours with a white sheet thrown on Jimmy: bit controversial Jimmy: stick to the burning ✞ Janis: come on Janis: be a laugh Janis: call it performance art Jimmy: til I get lynched myself Jimmy: proper outnumbered Janis: nah Janis: they're all pussies Janis: nothing like me, I told you Jimmy: you don't know I ain't Jimmy: never seen me fight Janis: protect you, go on Jimmy: lend us your lighter and I'll think about it Jimmy: mine's 💀👻 Janis: trace the burning ✞ back to me and all Janis: no idiot Janis: but whatever, one sec Jimmy: chuck it out the window, Juliet Jimmy: no need to run Janis: may as well have one myself Jimmy: I get it, you don't reckon I can catch it Janis: I know you can't Janis: also know you won't give it back Jimmy: I'll give it you back tomorrow Janis: fucking hell, if you don't wanna even sit with me, I'll go out front, like Jimmy: Shut up Jimmy: can't do tricks out front Janis: [comes out in his hoodie obvs 'cos you said it was freezing but we know she ain't taken it off, like] Jimmy: [is visibly cold af cos been out here ages and gave her his clothes] Janis: ['you idiot' coming at him with said hoodie] Jimmy: [is so much no because bitch you're keeping that] Janis: [🙄 like come here then and wrapping it round them both] Jimmy: [letting that happen because we all wanna] Janis: [rubbing his arms to warmth them 'can get the duvet if you want'] Jimmy: ['be going back in in a bit, it's alright'] Janis: [nods but pulls it tighter/him closer] Jimmy: [again letting that happen shamelessly lol] Janis: [they'd be like so face to face rn it'd be ridiculous 'cos same height, the only way you're avoiding that tension is if you put your head on his shoulder and that's not intimate at all nah] Jimmy: [when you're just playing with her hair like it's in your way and you gotta stop it from harassing you but 👀 you really boy] Janis: [scary grace impression 'don't mess up my hair!'] Jimmy: [lols 'don't do that, it's proper accurate'] Janis: [😏 'spent an unfortunate amount of time with her, least she can give me is a decent impression'] Jimmy: ['I don't want her here or the PTSD tah'] Janis: ['yeah, yeah, you want the lighter I ain't forgot' but not giving it him 'cos vital he be warmthed first obvs] Jimmy: ['I do but-' not finishing that sentence because #danger] Janis: [no escaping how hard she can look at you from this distance though] Jimmy: ['I don't wanna wake him up and the fucking dog will longer I leave going back in, so don't fight me on the floor thing when we do, alright?'] Janis: ['course', I'm not as arsehole' pauses 'I just don't see why you won't take the bed and I'll go on the sofa-' when you say this last bit faster than the rest '-or just share with me it's not like we haven't before'] Jimmy: [nods and tries not to breathe too much 'Really committed to warming me back up, you. Fine then.'] Janis: ['something like that' hands him the lighter] Jimmy: [we know the drill here, ladies first lol] Janis: [when you should really separate to smoke but you just turn so he's behind you 🥄🚬 moment ] Jimmy: [take your chance to shamelessly stare at her boy] Jimmy: [and he should blatantly take a pic because imagine how beautiful she'd look rn and the lighting would be so interesting] Janis: [do it for your 🎨 and 😍 boy] Jimmy: [honestly and it'll stop you saying or doing anything else that you shouldn't] Janis: ['do you reckon I could do it properly..model, like?'] Jimmy: ['Yeah' OMG he answered a question] Janis: [when she's surprised he don't shade her like oh but does best to hide that 'my sister is. Good way out, since I'm not getting deported'] Jimmy: ['I'll look forward to seeing your face on a billboard or whatever and saying I didn't know you' because don't you just hate when peeps pretend to be your bestie when you die/are famous, yep me and Jimmy too] Janis: ['tah, glad it meant so much to ya, mate'] Jimmy: ['It obvs meant everything to me, that's why I've gotta repress all those perfect memories, babe. Tah for that.'] Janis: [turns and 😘 with some smoke coming with] Jimmy: ['see, can't do better than you'] Janis: ['I know, I feel really bad for you, actually. Tragedy.'] Jimmy: [does the violin mime 'get in line, girl, let you jump it a bit 'cause I like you'] Janis: ['yeah?'] Jimmy: [😘 back at her because getting too real there] Janis: [catches it and turns back] Jimmy: [🚬 in silence for a bit because close call] Janis: 'what's your mate called, then?'] Jimmy: [gives her a look like he has no idea who she means] Janis: ['Barista boy'] Jimmy: ['He ain't my mate then, is he'] Janis: ['Your mans, I'm sorry'] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: [nudges back like tell me then] Jimmy: ['Do your own homework, it's the holidays'] Janis: ['such a cockblock, you'] Jimmy: [😒 but trying not to let it show and doing the 💔 with his hands so she'll look there instead] Janis: ['yeah right' and pushing his hands down] Jimmy: [usual Oi and scuffle moment as standard] Janis: [just playfighting always] Jimmy: [when you're just like come on because can't stay out here forever] Janis: ['you finally done?'] Jimmy: [CLEARLY still in his jealousy and thinking about her fucking Pete so walking away] Janis: [just like um excuse me but going too 'cos not gonna stay outside to be awkward] Jimmy: [getting ready for bed moodily lol lol lol] Janis: [when you don't even know what's changed the vibe but what you gonna say, just taking the hoodie and whatever you put on your bottom off] Jimmy: [deliberately not looking at her cos you're in a sulk and can't trust yourself not to say something] Janis: [this won't be awkward at all, lads, time to cram into this bed like there's any option but to snuggle] Jimmy: [who is big 🥄 and who's little?] Janis: [if she's little he can be 'mad' about her hair in his face] Jimmy: [true just #fuming] Janis: ['night'] Jimmy: [when you don't say it back, we know you ain't asleep yet boy] Janis: ['dick'] Jimmy: [a very unamused sound in response like it's her fault you're a jealous dickhead okay then] Janis: [turning 'round in this bed which is treacherous tbh and poking him like what is your problem] Jimmy: [shaking his head because literally what can he say and don't even start me on the position of them both in this tiny bed] Janis: [such a grumpy face] Jimmy: [when she looks so CUTE that it changes your face to 😏 to hide your genuine 😍😊] Janis: ['I'd push you if I wouldn't fall too, and your brother wasn't asleep, lucky' pokes him in the chest again for emphasis on the lucky] Jimmy: ['Nah, you're well anti me being on the floor, said it loads'] Janis: ['plans change, it happens'] Jimmy: [shrugs 'ain't like it'd be the first bruise I'd had off you, least this one'd be real'] Janis: ['can be arranged] Jimmy: ['go on'] Janis: ['later'] Jimmy: ['You ain't gotta be scared or owt, do it'] Janis: ['you're too loud'] Jimmy: [does a 🤐 gesture] Janis: [just LOOKing like are we on the same page I don't think so] Jimmy: [giving her such a look back, kill me tbh] Janis: [we all know she's gonna lovebite him, like] Jimmy: [forever letting shit happen because I want to] Janis: [going hard like the time you nearly took my nip off 'cos challenged and the levels of frustration] Jimmy: [and has anyone ever bit their own lip as hard as he'd have to in this moment jfc because likewise challenged not to be a loud bitch but we know he is and wants to be] Janis: [just keeps looking up to see that struggle like 😏 but also going back in more times than is necessary like] Jimmy: [holding onto her hair not in a soft way because damn people have died struggling less than he is rn] Janis: [the struggle is shared lbr, pulling away, SOMEHOW, 'satisfied?' 😏 you know damn well neither of you are] Jimmy: [just gesturing to his closed mouth with a shrug like I'm not allowed to talk so and we all know he'd need more than a minute if he was gonna] Janis: [just, ( and not very gently), touching all the bruises she just did like 🤔 hmm] Jimmy: [dying but not stopping her because this is all so NBD of course yep] Janis: [shaking her head 'don't worry, did 'em where no one will see, can't let work know how much fun you were having in your sick bed, like'] Jimmy: I reckon the manager's a fan Jimmy: seen him scrolling Janis: well, don't let him take advantage of you, like Janis: more dubious than 🤤 Jimmy: don't do work romances me Janis: 💔 Jimmy: sure that's how my dad reckons all his feel Jimmy: probably more celebratory in reality though Jimmy: based on what they wrote in his 'glad you're fucking off' cards Janis: I get you Janis: watch out for Ian from accounts vibes Janis: not #goals Jimmy: he ain't, soz to piss on your 💍 goals Janis: oh well Janis: think of something, like Jimmy: 🏆🧠 you, like Janis: Obviously Janis: he ain't gonna be pissed off at you that I'm here, is he Janis: probably doesn't know, like Janis: can use my ninja skills Jimmy: he'd have to come home to find out Jimmy: fuck all chance of that Janis: didn't know if he had Janis: his office wifey(s), I guess? Jimmy: Why would he? I'm here, means he don't have to be Janis: yeah, who wants to spend time with their offspring Jimmy: let you know when I meet someone who does Janis: s'shit Janis: why bother reproducing Jimmy: we were all accidents, he just put his name to us Janis: I guess Janis: once is an accident, three times getting dangerously close to a habit Jimmy: full of bad habits him Janis: and not even 😎 with it Janis: actually tragic Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: oh well Janis: won't sleep with my shoes on, then Jimmy: not if you're gonna kick me Jimmy: alright for injuries, tah Janis: shut up, you wanted them Jimmy: You planning to get into the habit of giving me what I want? Janis: depends Jimmy: don't it always Janis: you tell me Jimmy: Tell you what, that it's a bad idea to go with a worse habit? Janis: worse than what Jimmy: owt I've got Jimmy: so don't do nowt for me Janis: whatever Jimmy: 👍 Janis: don't flatter yourself Jimmy: weren't Jimmy: I were flattering you Janis: sure you were Janis: you ain't more deadly than 🚬 😎boy, calm down Jimmy: you can do better, I've already said, don't have to sound like a 🚭 campaign about it, mate but if that's what gets through your 👂 to that 🧠 Janis: oh please Jimmy: begging ain't a mind changer but crack on Janis: I ain't begging no one but don't patronize me Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: [turns and gets as much space between as is physically possible] Jimmy: [finally says 'night' to her] Jimmy: [breaking that silence for it lol] Janis: [makes a similar noise of disgust] Jimmy: [then he's just moving and fussing for an age, soz about it] Janis: [doing a big sigh and getting up and out] Jimmy: ['hang on' before you can stop yourself or she can go] Janis: [looks back like what] Jimmy: [just looking at her like he did at the party when he dragged her away from Harry and was like DON'T] Janis: [when you can't just get back in 'cos you'll look stupid but you do change your plan 'where's your loo?'] Jimmy: [he tells her because idk the layout as usual] Janis: [👍] Jimmy: [just having a sad soft boy moment hoping she'll brb] Janis: [does and silently gets back in] Jimmy: [swap 🥄s kids, when you actually breathe a sigh of relief though that your bae is back #same] Janis: [should probably let them go to sleep lol] Jimmy: [just gotta have him whisper that he's sorry when he reckons she is but yeah sleep and snuggle guys]

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

Text

Jimmy & Janis

Planning a romantic weekend away

Jimmy: Gracie came at me earlier. There was mistletoe up and I near fully hit the floor 😎 Jimmy: Hold fire though. She only wanted to tell me to convince you of summat. Pretty sure you already know what it is Janis: Erm...Father Christmas is really real? That her weave isn't from dead Brazilian hookers? Janis: Enlighten me or I'll tell her she's got a holiday free pass on you 😈 Jimmy: Double date. Need I say more 😡 Janis: FUCK. I DIDN'T THINK IT'D ACTUALLY HAPPEN. Janis: How far does she expect the season of goodwill to extend, like? Already got some poor cunt being a charitable home for her arse so she don't freeze Janis: Single tear. Janis: Question is, can we make it worth it enough for us to endure that shite? Hmm Jimmy: I almost got my arse to church so it wouldn't. Shoulda sucked off that priest when he asked. Too late? Jimmy: You better get me a top notch pressie, baby 😏 Janis: You know you ain't on the nice list 😉 Janis: So, Santa might be dissing but you'll be getting something extra special from me Janis: As for God, and his holly jolly perverted following, I reckon we're both shit out of 🍀 there, no matter how good our head game is, such is life Janis: Grah, I hear she does shoutouts now...want that 'influencer' clout, baby? Not double entendre my end but might be for GracieGuru 🙊😂 Jimmy: what the fuck we going to do then? No way I'm hanging with her and her latest 'boo boy' Jimmy: Even if I was getting paid, which is likely since she just loves common grounds Janis: Preaching to the choir, dickhead, ain't my idea of a good time either, or hers let's be fucking real. She just wants to dry-hump a slab of boy in front of you on the off chance that really gets you going for her Janis: You wouldn't call her brainy, bless Janis: Idk, don't worry about it, Jim. Just avoid her/the flat whites like the plague and I'll have to literally run away like I'm an angsty 12 year old so we can't be located, even with friend finder or whatever they stalk each other with Janis: Oooh! Just call me brains, we should pretend to have a romantic weekend away planned, that'll send her over the edge, that is her everything goals Janis: Like I said, I can hide from a hoe Jimmy: I knew there was a reason I kept you about Jimmy: Let's do it though. Easier to take than fake the 'gram Jimmy: Any ideas? 🤔 Jimmy: Most of my boltholes are far from yours and not very enviable for that crowd #it'sgrimupnorth Janis: Yeah, why do you tbh? Janis: Now its clear my sister has got no respect for anyone on her hunt for dick/self-esteem Janis: She's hoping its a twofer like Janis: I don't know if I can stand you for that long, darling Janis: But I SUPPOSE your the lesser of two evils here 😉 Jimmy: It's love 💕 Jimmy: Come on, it'll be a laff. I'll get the beers in Jimmy: You can try harder to beat me at darts and pool Janis: As far as the adoring fans/salty haterz are concerned Janis: and that's all that matters Janis: bitch i don't have to try! 😤 you put me off last time with ur mooning 😍 Janis: we don't need to convince the old fellas in the boozer Jimmy: Fuck off I was getting practice in! Jimmy: If you're ready to fake a break up say the word but until then, it takes a lot of work to give you the puppy dog eyes. I'm not Twix Janis: Sure you was 😂 Janis: N'awwh but you do it so well! Janis: Audition for the School play whilst ur at it, soft lad Jimmy: I do enough fake snogging without signing myself up for that bollocks Jimmy: You coming away with me then or not? Jimmy: You know your sister'll be in again nagging before shift's end Janis: Well, when you put it like that Janis: 😒 Janis: I ain't got nothing better to do, and I certainly ain't third wheeling her fake date Janis: My grandparents got a place down skerries Janis: we can crash there Jimmy: How many rooms they got? My dad's working so I'll have to bring the ramble with Jimmy: #goals I know Janis: Fucking hell, my pissing sister! She owes you more than she's spending on coffee for the hassle she's causing Janis: If you really can't, don't worry, I'll sort her. She'll be unbearable when she finds out it was all for a laugh but it was at her expense so how much of a mug can she actually make me feel? 😑 Janis: That said, there's 3 rooms, its only a caravan don't get excited but the kids would probably be buzzin', it is pretty nice down there Janis: I'll even let you have the double bed to yourself Janis: ol Janis: l Jimmy: It'll stop them nagging me about going somewhere other than the park that'll do me Jimmy: Cass talks big but she isn't even really so doable Jimmy: Don't be getting any ideas though 😍😉 my brother hasn't slept well since we moved. I'll be sharing that double like it or not Jimmy: What a way to spend my first proper time off since I started #blessed Janis: Yeah, fish and chips on the beach even tho its fucking baltic, chasing Twix will keep 'em warm, you'll earn major big brother points as well as bae ones Janis: What a mighty fine man Janis: Same here, Cass. Shh about it though Janis: Like you said, it'll be a laugh, we can make it one Janis: You'd really rather be making pinkity drinkidies or whatever the fuck they are? Jimmy: Nope. But your 1st romantic break usually is. Any talent there is in all grans playing bingo? Jimmy: Be nice to get something off the 'gram 💋 Janis: I ain't been since I was about 9 Janis: I wasn't after bitches then and I ain't now Janis: I wish you luck, 2 kids hanging on your arm and a woman back home, like Janis: Does it for some. Jimmy: I'd do some talking first to get things clear I'm not tall Tammy 😂 Jimmy: Bet you were a right cute kid, weren't you? Aww Janis: Again, have fun explaining that one, mate. I'd struggle with the concept and I'm in on it. Janis: Adorable. What happened? Jimmy: Shut up you know what you look like, mate Janis: A butch lezza? Janis: So I've been told 👍 Jimmy: That's not what they are saying anymore. Check my comments sometime. The lads are gagging for you now Janis: Goody gumdrops. Janis: I'll leave my knickers at the door, like Jimmy: You could like. I've been waiting for you to drop me as your fake bf since this whole thing started Janis: I'm not interested in any of them. Janis: Would your world be set alight by Aaron O'Reilly from form? Janis: If you wanna cop off with some of your fans don't let me stop you Jimmy: You aren't. They're not my type anymore than Aaron's yours. I'm just saying you take a crackin pic and I should know since I'm the one takin 'em. So you don't need to spout that crap. They're just jealous of how much of a butch lezza you aren't Janis: Alright. Well, you're not half bad at taking snaps, and not in the bullshit way every hoe thinks they know their angles and magic lighting these days, you're actually decent. Janis: It don't feel like crap when Janis: blah, meant to delete that, ignore it Jimmy: 🤐 Jimmy: Wanna help me with my art project while we're away then? Kill all the birds (hopefully not with my flash) Jimmy: I'll owe you again Janis: I won't even joke on you for being a swot 🤓🤞 Janis: What've you got planned? Jimmy: I haven't had any time to think yet beyond film being the medium but Jimmy: #workinprogress Jimmy: with a muse like you m'dear how could I go wrong 💕 Janis: 😜 Janis: just so you know, i ain't bringing any homework but put my name or yours, yeah? 😘 not even in art but might count for something Janis: clue me in tho, brainiac, what do the kiddos like? i'll get 'em something Jimmy: Rookie mistake mate, art's an easy A Jimmy: They'll take anything covered in sugar. Can't say I'll love you for it when they crash mid journey though Janis: Only 'cos you're good at it. With my genes I should be but I can barely draw a stickman. Janis: I'll stick with double sports, sports science and science 👌 Janis: I'll keep sweets in stock for bribery, goes without sayin'! Different pocket to Twix' fish treats, though Janis: I'll have a look down town Jimmy: 😂 did you see that article doin the rounds about the mum who bought her kid a cat's advent calendar Janis: 😂 Yes! Shame catnip don't work like on us like it does cats, that kid would be pingin' Janis: Might get meself some, like Jimmy: What gets dogs off their heads? I'll keep Twix well clear Jimmy: She's high enough on your 😍 Janis: I don't know, actually...telling them they're good bois? Janis: Works for you boo 😘 Jimmy: I prefer being called a very bad boy 😎 Janis: You clown 😂 Janis: Good to know, suppose. Dirty weekend away though it ain't Jimmy: what our fans don't know won't break their jealous hearts Jimmy: you coming in for your freebies today or shall I do a delivery your way once Grace is home? 😉 Janis: Kick it really cliche and be my sexy delivery boy Janis: Try and bring something with sausage in so I can come at you with the quality porn writing Jimmy: Live your fantasies as well as your sister's if you want, my name tag says Jonathon today Janis: Ooh, spicing it up with some roleplay like we're middle-aged okay Janis: How boring are you that you've picked a name so similar to your own...this is why we've hit a dry patch, Jimothy! Jimmy: What would you seriously pick? Janis: For you? Janis: Who's a fittie... Janis: Anthony Joshua could get it Janis: You don't want to be in the play but reckon you can stretch to that? Jimmy: Next time I lose my name tag I'll insist on that. For the bae 💕 Jimmy: About as close as I'll get I think Janis: Who do you want? Janis: I wanna know your type Janis: Bar Tall Tammy Jimmy: Your sister obviously Janis: Fuck off, not even funny Janis: If that were true, you know where she lives bitch, I ain't stopping ya, she's practically shoe-horning you in 🤢 Jimmy: I meant the fit older one 😉 Janis: Ohhh Janis: Still, do one 🖕 I'm not pretending to be my sister you freak Jimmy: That's one pretense too far. Got it 😂 Janis: Yeah, in this hypothetical you've really shit the bed, pal. Jimmy: I only half read that because #customers and thought you called me shit in bed mate Janis: well... 😏 Jimmy: I fake rocked your world Janis Cavante! 😂 Janis: you know we faked it so i didn't have to fake it 💅 Jimmy: Aaron O'Reilly's walking through the door want me to slip him your number and end this? 😝 Janis: I will murder you. Janis: also he might think your trying to set up a threeway for YOUR benefit, so if you wanna take over the gay rumours that bad, go for it 💋🍆 Jimmy: I've seen you with a pool cue I think I'm safe Jimmy: Give a shit. At least I actually am butch Janis: Psh, you're all show no grow Janis: We're arm wrestling, then you'll see Jimmy: 💪 I'll beat you at that too then, shall I? 🏆 Janis: Bring it on. I won't make you cry too hard, save face in front of the kiddos. Janis: 'Let' them kick your arse too 😜 Jimmy: Try it, baby girl 😝 Jimmy: Cass probs could no lie. Scrappy af that one Janis: Good girl 👍 Janis: Gotta keep you in check Jimmy: Doubt you'll be calling her that when she's shadowed you all weekend Jimmy: She loves you. Who knows why? Janis: I keep telling you I'm a delight Janis: Has this...how long has it been? Month, 2? Of SHEER BLISS taught you nothing Janis: Ruuuuude. Jimmy: Nope. I'm with Team Bobby. You're a gross meanie Jimmy: As all girls are 😂 Janis: Well I'm winning Bobby 'round this weekend by hook or by crook Janis: then you can please yourself, billy no mates Janis: Team Janis 💪 Jimmy: Every bro knows you can't be friends with your girl Jimmy: DUH Janis: Oh yeah, all straight couples HATE each other and that's #goals Janis: If I can't be chatting shit on you, how will I get to talk about you constantly to my gals? Janis: Singing your praises? I THINK NOT Jimmy: Speaking of, Gracie and co are back on the premise that Tall Tammy left her....something. I wasn't listening. Should I break the news we won't be here for date night or do you want to do the honors Janis: Dignity? That's long gone, honey. Janis: Ooh, lemme do it, you're coming round with the sausage anyway Janis: We can do it together baby Jimmy: awhhh Jimmy: I've hidden the mistletoe but she can see the top of the highest counters!! I'm on borrowed time what do I do? Janis: Headbutt her in the teeth Janis: 'Accidentally' Janis: Can't help being a normal-sized human Jimmy: #customerservice Jimmy: then recommend her our chewy cookies 😂 Janis: You can see why I'm not trying to be your work wifey too, yeah? 😂 Janis: If you can convince any of those girls to break their diet, I'll be impressed Janis: Don't count if they go vom in the bogs after tho Jimmy: Gracie might be on her way already. One of her posse asked what you were getting me for Christmas and I didn't hold back Janis: Oh no, am I about to get slut-shamed? 😲 Janis: Or, heaven forfend, tips Janis: I will die Jimmy: Damn I didn't think of that. Sorry Janis: Its cool Janis: She's all mouth anyway, not in a beneficial to the cause way Janis: Be interesting hearing what she thinks you want, keep ya posted lol Jimmy: 🙌 Can't wait Janis: that's what you're meant to say about my present! Jimmy: I did, swear 🤞 Janis: what do you actually want Jimmy: Don't worry about it Janis: Oh, is it? If I'm not fucking your brains out you're not interested Janis: Fine then, save my reddies. 👍 Jimmy: That's what I was thinking. Stage a break up before 🎄 for max drama and min spends Janis: Cool. If you wanna. Janis: Just don't tell everyone you chucked me 'cos I wouldn't give it up. Already a frigit. Janis: What's the story then? Jimmy: Obviously not. We've been hooking up for ages got to keep it #goals Jimmy: I don't know haven't thought that far ahead it just makes sense to get out before gifting Janis: Yeah. Fair. Janis: Think on and let me know Jimmy: You too. We can brainstorm at the weekend. Nothing but time then Jimmy: Can't break up right after the break though Janis: Would look sus, yeah. Janis: Maybe I'll whup you one too many times, your fragile male ego can't hack it, eh? Jimmy: Grace'd be smug 😩 Jimmy: Can't even fake that, babe Jimmy: Nobody'd believe the story Janis: She's gonna be regardless Janis: I got the shitty end of the stick here like but ain't nowt we can do about it now Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: No we're goals we just burned too bright that's all 😂 Jimmy: You've got way more time served with me than she does any of her boos she doesn't win Janis: Mhmm. Calm down, Icarus. Sure you'll be comparing some other bint on a balcony to the sun in no time. 😘 Janis: Suppose so. Least hers are real, if not short-lived, and, well, shit. Janis: She won't know the difference anyway Jimmy: There's nobody like you 💕 Jimmy: Exactly I'm not going to tell her we weren't real Janis: Bullshit 💕 Janis: True enough, I'll take it. Jimmy: Shit gotta go the boss is back Jimmy: Love you 💕 Janis: Love you too, Jonathon 💕

#mad he wanna end it #hmm i wonder why bitch #this was good

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