#so you know. important to acknowledge everything

[dawnicaltarot]

𝐏𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐀 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃: 𝐀 𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐍𝐓 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐔𝐍𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐄 𝐓𝐎𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐄𝐑 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐃𝐈𝐄𝐒... 𝐁𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐍.

ִ ࣪𖤐 𝓟ile one

you were feeling as if you were in between two important decisions in your life. you are unsure which path is leading you to success and happiness. the universe keeps attempting to send and show you the best path. otherwise, deep down you already have an idea of which one is the right path but it seems like your fears are taking the lead, this is holding you back to make a wise decision. perhaps, you are still looking for what's next but universe reassures you that you'll find what you're looking for. you may need to keep holding the vision of success and seize the experience of this roller coaster excitement process. surely, in the end you feel fulfillment as if everything has already been accomplished. maybe keep calling upon the guidance of god and the angels to lead you in the best direction. also, you may need to look within yourself to find great love and beauty and appreciate it. universe says don't draw fear onto your path by worrying about what will come rather only put love into any thoughts and feelings you have about your future. as well, trust that everything that is rightly yours and is already belongs to you spiritually. like anything you are seeking is seeking you, also. otherwise, if you feel stalled or stuck, universe offer solution on your way and your help may needed with this situation like take a little amount of your time fo make it happen and let the universe do the rest. remember even a small step in the direction of your vision will help you feel a sense of progress and hope<3. i also have a great feeling you already know what the next step is, as your heart is leading you there but you keep limiting yourself. imagine yourself about what you would do if you had unlimited time, finances, and energy. the answer is always in front of you and all you have to do is grab it. as you step into the world of the unlimited, your resources come to you exactly as you need them. let's say unbeatable intelligent or stable income... universe already provided this for you long time ago, you may need you listen to and follow your inner wisdom most of the time. don't be afraid and be confident with the universe because remember that you will never be asked to do anything that could harm you or a loved one, as your divine guidance is a conversation of love. in terms of work, there's maybe sudden changes with your schedule— it can be reducing or adding your hours of work. otherwise, the decision is still up for you. in terms of studies, i do see a big changes in your daily routine and your identity where even most of what you had in your life right now including yourself will evolve. whether this transition is something you planned for or not, your complete attention will be on how to spend your time "focusing". as well as accompanying the responsibility as a student and a child will be loaded, burden, distraction and pressure with your side. the universe acknowledging you that there are great changes with your shifting schedule for the next upcoming months and advising you to budget your money wisely that comes with true planning and wiser thoughts. universe says that you're about to become more aware and sensitive for the next upcoming months too; there's a lot of anxiety, worries you will about to experience. and so, getting and staying sober is normal for you but sometimes it's okay to requires some support from others, which is normal and nothing to feel ashamed about. have faith and open your arms to receive the positive thoughts and changes in your life.

additional/confirmation messages: find a lost object. a reunion. meeting a soulmate. meditating. a loved one's addiction for alcohol. helping others to move on with their trauma. breaking goals. a sudden drama. achieving your goals into baby steps. a movie where sunset is prominent. frequently seeing angels numbers.

ִ ࣪𖤐 𝓟ile two

just in case, if you were attracted to the first pile. it may have some messages for you. okay, i get it. when home and work/studies both stresses you out but you'll get through it. the universe is telling you that there's upcoming important changes happening next in your life, it may affect your overall health so please take good care of it! self-care and awareness is a must. changes might be exciting and frightening but don't stress yourself too much of thinking about them. perhaps, the changes you will about to experience are influenced by the procedure of work or academic. well, with the path you are taking, you gonna recognize some important truths. probably, you're gonna start questioning some parts of your life that you once took for granted? the reason why you've arrived at some new insights is because you reconsider your previous choices, about what you once felt comfortable that now makes you uncomfortable. the universe is now sending you more acknowledgment of this development era, and also a guidance to take your time in making life decisions and adjustments. maybe by doing your own research and by getting a support from someone will help you adopt the upcoming changes so you will feel ready. after all, the universe is advising you to don't increase your stress levels with any radical shifts you're not prepared for like don't stress yourself with the things you are not totally responsible at the first place. also, now that you've had these realizations, you'll make positive changes at a natural and healthy pace. all of these new outlook will lead the way without stress or worries. you're evolving and progressing, so it's natural for you to have a different perspective now than you did before. the universe says to pay attention with your feelings more as it's speaking to you and it's important for you to listen. sometimes ignored emotions become louder especially with your current state right now. if you are breathing a sigh of relief upon reading this, that's another sign that you may need a healing pause. yk self-care can take many forms, but the important thing is for you to look after yourself in a way that promotes your happiness, health, and high energy. probably the universe was telling you to don't be in touch with harsh and toxic environment or the situation that makes you uncomfortable— take a great care of yourself, and you will fly high and take the butterfly effect with this on-going path.

additional/confirmation messages: making plans for what do you manifest/wish next. transition and losses. a support from people online or seeking online friends. a second opinion it's either take it or not, the answer is up to you. a beach trip. shoes without laces. a wish and prayer fulfillment.

ִ ࣪𖤐 𝓟ile three

aww. okay my group three, there's something great ahead that is waiting for you especially with a romantic connection. you may develop a romantic connection with someone probably meeting a soulmate or a karmic twinflame. through this path. otherwise, you will find yourself in more of an idyllic situation. the universe is seeing you've been hurt and in pain with the same patterns happening in your life right now. however, it's encouraging you it's the right rime to change this dull patterns by facing and healing them even in baby steps. with the path you are leading to, i can really feel you are tired with all the shits and same issues with your life right now and may have a believe that there's no other way to solve them and these thoughts keeping your attention away and distracted you from what your real purpose is. your current purpose is to explore your old and deep feelings so it will act as a way to open and heal your broken heart. maybe, you have a recent dream from a previous colleague/classmate or spot an old item (old photo album or a scrapbook) from your old school/work that bring so many hurtful memories back. otherwise, the universe is telling me now is a perfect time to work on unhealed situations from the past so that you can resolve them and move on. with your upcoming months— ultimately, you will come to recognize that there was nothing to fear at all. also, the universe were asking you to reflect more with your happy memories rather than those negative happens in your life. past is past, no matter how you wanted to go back in time to fixed it, you can't. but your present and your future needs you the most and it's a lesson learn that your mistakes won't repeat. maybe instead of you looking back at those unhappy memories, it's more acceptable if you were looking back for good times rather than the pain you have experience. i see that, your motivation at work and studies will gradually change. these past days or for the upcoming weeks your dreams or a lot of challenging flashbacks will show up. so yeah, it's a confirmation. there's a great changes with your motivation like what once interested you will be no more anymore. the universe is asking you to be ready as there's a lot of things and people will keep distracting you from your true goal. the universe last message for this path is... your faith is an inner knowing that even your experiences are purposeful and that you'll have a happy ending in this path... which is true!

additional/confirmation messages: high frequency of spirituality. a positive attitude. joining a spiritual community. exercising or workout. voicing out your needs and desires. spice up your routine. add new hobbies. a reunion or a call from someone in your past. improvement in your focus area. starting to write a book, poetry or a song. creating a book memory. a collection of vintage items.

all rights reserved © dawnicaltarot 2025 | do not copy, repost, translate, or modify my works in any platform.

— ✯ credits to rightful owner of divider and images that i used for this project.

[angelic-sawyer]

Simple Pleasures

Summary: What happens when a billionaire real estate developer meets a stubborn environmental lawyer who'll do her best to keep an old bookshop protected?

Pairing: Harry Castillo x Reader

Word Count: 2.3k

A/N: This is inspired by Two Weeks Notice. Please, +18 ONLY.

Fics get updated sooner on AO3.

GIF by @a7estrellas

Chapter 1

Bouncing your leg up and down as your eyes quickly scan through the papers for the tenth time in the last twenty minutes, your name gets called four times before you actually hear a nicely dressed secretary telling you that Harry Castillo’s waiting for you. Palms sweaty, burdened from the worry of what’s to come, it takes a moment for your surroundings to get acknowledged by your brain. Even though you aren’t really hopeful, knowing how every single billionaire, privileged man feels about abandoned buildings and antique shops, you still stand up, smoothing your hands over your skirt and following the woman through the long corridor. The hall smells like those niche scents sold for thousands of dollars. In the end is the door of the billionaire developer who’s decided to completely change and mess up your plans with the oldest bookshop in town. The woman knocks on the door, then gets inside, closing the door right in front of your nose.

Letting out a sigh, you wait, looking down at your heels. They look silly. You borrowed them. You don’t have anything this fancy in your wardrobe and it makes you feel silly. All this… makes you feel silly, makes you bite on your lower lip. You dressed up to convince a famously arrogant developer not to let other famously arrogant men destroy the bookshop.

The woman finally opens the door again and steps out, holding it open for you to get into the room. You nod at her and step inside, clearing your throat as soon as you see him. Blue suit, light blue shirt underneath, holding something — maybe a plan for your bookshop in one hand, on the same hand is a gold ring with emerald. 18k? Most likely. You swallow.

You don’t like him.

He looks at you, eyes somehow sparkling, a polite smile lighting his features up as he stands up and holds his hand out. “Nice to meet you. Harry.”

You shake his hand, muttering your name as you sit down in front of him. It takes a moment for you to gather your thoughts, to actually speak, even though you’ve been practicing your speech all week. Telling him that you’re an activist and a lawyer, you hate how sincerely he nods at you, how he looks at the bracelet on your wrist, then at your skirt, then at your nails.

It’s what you do. It’s your thing. To know everything about everyone just by looking at them. You aren’t really a fan of being the subject.

“As I said, Mr. Castillo, this bookshop is practically a relic. The proposal to destroy the oldest bookshop in town and replace it with a modern commercial building is not only short-sighted, but also a disservice to the community and future generations.” You say, nervously glancing down at your papers before looking back at him. “This bookshop is more than just a building. It is a treasure trove of knowledge and tradition, a place where people have gathered for generations to share stories and ideas. It is a vital part of our cultural heritage, and it should be protected and preserved, not destroyed and made into something that you can see anywhere."

You stand up, putting the papers in your hand onto his table before returning to your seat. “These are the documents. There’s also a petition signed by hundreds of residents who share my belief in the importance of this historic landmark.“

He hums, looking down at the papers, his eyes moving from one page to another. He’s not really reading. He’s just being polite, carelessly moving his gaze on the text that you so cautiously typed. This feels almost humiliating.

Your eyes immediately meet his when he looks up at you. “You graduated from Harvard Law School?” He asks.

You blink. “I— Yes, sir. But that is not very relevant—“

“Environmental law.” He reads out of one of the papers that you gave him, the one that has your contact information, photo, and degree. He looks at you again, this time with brows furrowed. “Isn’t that the most boring one?

You scoff unintentionally. “Excuse me?”

“No offense—“ He starts.

“I believe this is a very important matter, Mr. Castillo. And I also believe I seem— I am very passionate about this.” You respond, angrily toying with your fingers.

Are there even windows in this office? Does he never open them? Why is it suddenly so hot?

“I appreciate your passion.” He says calmly, and you despise the kind expression he has on his face. He’s not kind. He’s taking the bookshop away from you. “I am appreciating your education too, even if it’s being used to argue over a bunch of books and dusty tables.” And before you can protest, he adds. “From what I heard and saw, you can work for me.”

You blink. Your hands stop fidgeting. “I didn’t come here for a job.”

He nods as if he understands. He doesn’t. He won’t. “Generous salary, benefits… You name the price.”

The nervousness that starts building up in your stomach makes your brows pinch together and your lips pursed. You hate this. You hate uncertainty, you hate how professional he is, even if he hasn’t comprehended what you were telling him at all.

You shake your head. “All you heard was my minute-long speech.”

“And that was enough.” He answers immediately, smiling again. “This is a good offer, I think. One that can improve your career, help you get… somewhere.”

You hate that it doesn’t sound like mockery. You hate how genuine he sounds, as if working for him was your dream and he’s giving you a chance. He talks about how messy his work is, how he constantly needs a lawyer, but his words act as background noise rather than actual, meaningful sentences.

Did he even hear you?

“I won’t sell the bookshop to the firm.” He says. “If you work for me.”

He heard you.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

“So, I’ve got this big project, mostly my idea.” He says, sipping his coffee as he looks back at you. “You’re smart. You can surely help me navigate through all the regulations and permits required to make it happen.”

You’re not sure you understand.

Agreeing to take this job a day ago was… heroic. Except no one in your town will ever care. They probably don’t spend their nights worrying about the bookshop either. But it matters.

What you don’t understand, though, is why Harry Castillo is making you walk through the busy streets and practically yelling his words so you can hear him, instead of having a proper conversation in his office, or maybe in the bookshop if he agrees to actually come and see it.

Bumping your shoulder to a stranger, you quickly push through the people between you and Harry and rush to his side.

“Mr. Castillo—“

“Harry.” He says, brows furrowed. “I hate formality.”

Well, you don’t.

“Sir, I think we should discuss—“

“I also need you to attend the meeting, tell me if anyone’s bluffing. You lawyers can detect liars, right?” He looks at you expectantly.

“Well, I wouldn’t word it like that.” You answer, which earns you a dismissive shrug.

As he drones on about the project, you can feel your patience wearing thin. You can’t imagine anything you would rather do less than work for this man. But for the sake of your interest, the bookshop, you resign yourself to following him wherever he’s going. It’s your toying fingers that express how much you hate this, how angry you are at the fact that he didn’t even have a proper conversation with you. About the bookshop. About your past successful cases. About anything at all.

He stops and you do too, looking at what he’s gesturing towards.

A fancy restaurant.

“Figured we should talk.” He says, smiling.

There’s that smile. The I’m-not-as-bad-as-you-think, the I’m-actually-very-kind smile.

“In a restaurant?” You ask. He just nods. Casually.

Except a restaurant like this isn’t very casual for you. Except a man leading you to a secluded booth in the corner and ordering the most expensive wine on the menu - isn’t really your everyday thing.

If you had to pick one word at the moment, it’d be opulent.

A true haven of elegance and sophistication. Soft, ambient light casting a warm glow over the interior, highlighting the rich dark oak furnishings and decorations. White linens on the tables, and the walls adorned with unique-looking pieces of art. The air is filled with the rich scent of fine cuisine, and the clinking of silverware against the plates can be heard throughout the room.

He looks at you. Your lips. Then your hands. Then your bracelet.

“We haven’t had a chance to talk.” He says.

You nod slowly, still looking around subtly. “You could say that.”

He nods too. “So, Harvard.”

You shake your head. “You dwell on that too much.”

“It’s impressive!” He chimes in. “On a full scholarship too.”

You hum, carefully taking the glass. “Well…”

You actually appreciate things when you taste the wine. It’s the most aromatic, pleasantly sweet and sour flavor you’ve ever tasted. It makes you look at him as he looks at you like he’s awaiting your reaction.

You nod approvingly, setting the wine glass on the table. “About the bookshop. It’s really, really important to me. To everyone. It used to be a great gathering place, a safe space for kids and the elderly and everyone. I can make it into that again. If you don’t sell it to the—“

“I won’t.” He says. “I promised. I’m not an ass. Although the money they’re offering because of its location will get you a place twice as big.”

“But it’s not the same if it’s somewhere else.” You protest, making him raise his hands.

He sighs, looking at you. There it goes again. Looking there, then somewhere else, as if he’s searching for something in your clothing, in the way you did your hair this morning, in your thoughts.

“Do you like movies?” He asks, making you nod with a confused expression on your face. “What’s your favorite?”

You shrug. “Anything Humphrey Bogart is in.”

His nose scrunches. “Isn’t that… outdated?”

That draws a gasp from you, so loud that for a second you worry that others in the restaurant hear you. “Excuse you?”

He shrugs nonchalantly. “You’ve certainly got a special thing for old stuff.”

You shake your head, not believing his words. “How can someone not love old hollywood movies?”

He sips his wine, then speaks. “I don’t have anything against them. Just didn’t expect you to be so… I don’t know.”

“For a man your age, I’d think this conversation would go the opposite way.”

“For a man my age.” He repeats with a chuckle. And then he looks at your bracelet again.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

Outside the floor-to-ceiling windows, the night is in full swing. The city lights glitter against the windows of the building, providing a kaleidoscope of color that dances and twinkles like a symphony of stars.

Harry leans against his desk, brows furrowed as he watches you edit the text for his speech tonight at some fancy event. You shouldn’t be doing this at all, it’s not your job. He has editors and writers in the building, but for some reason, it’s you who has to stay for an extra hour. He claimed that no one talks as confidently or passionately as you, especially after seeing you glamorize and defend his ideas during the most recent meeting.

You let out a sigh, handing the paper to him. “I don’t really know what you expect from something that I wrote.”

He takes the paper, smiling at it like a kid who just got the toy he’s been asking for. “You’re a pro at speeches.”

“I’m not.” You say. “I write words the day before but then I still say what comes to my mind. Speech is most powerful when said with emotion.”

Harry scoffs. “Try being emotional about a building getting a renovation.” He says, then glances at you. “Well, actually, you wouldn’t have to try very hard.”

You squint. The audacity.

He sighs and walks to his chair. He’s wearing a dark brown suit, has one hand in his pocket. His eyes carefully move from one word to another and his lips are pouty. He does that, you have learned. He does that a lot when he’s concentrated.

“Won’t you come?” He asks, his sparkling brown eyes moving to your face as he wets his lower lip.

You shake your head, standing up, fixing the buttons of your light pink jacket. “Why would I come?”

“Why wouldn’t you?” He asks. The expression on his face would be enough for you to agree if you weren’t a homebody. Or if that event was actually something you were interested in, for that matter. It’s the way his eyes sparkle so unfairly. It’s the way he looks so kind, as if he oozes light in the darkness. It’s the way he smells too — like vanilla combined with honey and tobacco, a powdery aroma swirling around him when he’s standing in the same room as you.

Not that you actually eagerly take in the smell. He just smells nice.

But you shrug. “I’ve got plans.”

You don’t.

“A date?” He asks immediately. Weird question. He’s weird.

“Why is that your concern?” You furrow your brows.

He glances at your hand, at your bracelet, then looks back at your face. He looks like he’s trying to make you feel a tug of sympathy for him, as if he’s attempting to communicate his emotions through his eyes.

But Harry just nods. “Have a nice evening.”

When he gathers his things and walks past you, your brows furrow and you look behind, your eyes fixed on his broad shoulders as he walks away. His smell fills your nostrils.

Honey. Cloves. Anise.

[rosszulorzott]

some highlights from the article about the article

And their answer was, “Oh, I can see how that can be looked from two different perspectives.”

I've learned that this is really the best response I can expect realistically. it's nowhere close to validation but all the other responses are way harsher

Are there skills you teach that help clients with their feelings of trauma and isolation? Bar-Halpern: I would do what we call “cope ahead” for future invalidation, for future situations that they might get invalidated ... So we try to cope ahead for that as much as we can, while acknowledging that we cannot cope ahead for everything.

practical

Particularly important to coping ahead in the long term would be finding a new sense of belonging and connecting to a community, whatever community that is connected to their own values.

I'd like to add my own experience as it fits here. I've been part of a small community of like-minded people, in which I am now losing my sense of belonging. and in a wider sense too - I have always belonged among people with leftist, progressive, humanist, liberal views, and there is a sense of betrayal. even if I don't count my personal connections. just to know that our values are not the same anymore with a lot of them

this is my first family so to speak as I dedicated myself to this world view before it came to my knowledge that I am Jewish (family practicing caution with the information in case it will get dangerous again)

so it's loss upon loss

I still believe that on the deepest level every person feels, reasons and acts based upon true, positive, values. fear is needing a degree of safety, enmity is needing a degree of control, and so on. in your core, you are never wrong, you just need what you need and then find some way to try to make it come about. I am not disappointed in humanity but I am alienated from people who have seemed to translate these truths of our human nature into beliefs and views similarly to how I do it

“This is not about the war. This is about the Jewish experience in the United States.”

yeah. the Jewish experience or the experience of a political being (again, I don't want to take away the focus of the articles from the Jewish experience, this is just an addition). how everything that is happening locally (for me it's hungary), the messages, the responses, the shifts in our community and other activist spaces are so heavy now to bear

I really want to make the case that it is not just a Jewish problem. When you start dehumanizing any type of group, you’re going to dehumanize other groups as well.

this is what hurts my political beliefs, yes

I think that’s really important to acknowledge as well: We can validate each other and find those supportive communities, and make meaning from our experiences alongside the grief and pain that a lot of us have been feeling and continue to feel.

here's to hoping that

the article itself is very useful, too

“grieving the pain of not being accepted,”

I'll do that, thank you

Reading this open source article on how Jewish tauma and distress is treated by non-Jews made things click for me and helped me realize what happened and why I felt ill when I expressed my fears of antisemitism in my city and globally during a situation that took place roughly a year ago. I highly recommend reading it through.

This is an article about the article:

The article itself:

[elendsessor]

okay didn’t mean to make a follow up post so soon but in thinking about how the hunter is treated in wilds and the shadiness behind the guild’s actions in that entry specifically, i also started thinking about the actual importance of the forbidden lands on a lore standpoint going beyond just the guardians.

there isn’t really a true concrete timeline except for sequels to dos, but the common theme throughout each dos-adjacent game is legends coming back and things meant to be forgotten, well, not being forgotten.

lunastra returning is one thing, finally properly introducing the ancient civilization beyond fatalis stuff. 4u sees an entire shift of the environment. while not explicitly stated to be a sequel, sunbreak does mention the frenzy virus outbreak and a rough estimate as to how long it might’ve been going on for. frontier is still debatably canon, but with acknowledgements of mezeporta existing in mainline and the diva in wilds offering stat buffs like she did in frontier (keo and/or inagami are just waiting to come back), we can at least assume the possibility of certain lore concepts and maybe even monster lore yet to appear being canon. heck, valstrax becoming more common at least around the point of rise and them being symbols of disaster speak volumes.

wilds is the biggest deep dive we’ve gotten on ancient civilization lore in a long while, but man is it huge.

the fact that the forbidden lands are called the forbidden lands to begin with is a major red flag. the people living there don’t call it that, meaning the guild is what gave it the name. and with tasheen mentioning some of the remaining citizens of wyveria left to go elsewhere means there’s no way the guild didn’t know about what was going on there.

and i think that’s also where the zoh shia assignments are better put into perspective. the guild wasn’t helping nata because it was the right thing to do, rather they wanted to erase the existence of the forbidden lands altogether because they’re potentially on the verge of another dragon war.

i mainly say this because of how olivia is portrayed. she’s loyal to a fault, and the lack of a handler proves that. but it’s also interesting how adamant she is to have the dragontorch be shut down despite experiencing not only an entire ecosystem thriving, not only a civilization thriving, but especially because a hunter’s job is to preserve that very ecosystem no matter where it is.

this is further supported by the high rank zoh shia assignment. verner’s surprised to hear her be against the dragontorch destruction. she wasn’t there to experience the fight nor showed any doubt in the hunter’s capabilities at any point. say what you will about monster hunter writing but she definitely isn’t the type to change her opinions on a dime. i do think all along she wanted to keep the dragontorch standing. so why so adamant?

for one is that loyalty. she’s the perfect mouthpiece for the guild.

the other is what that destruction brings. the people will suffer and so will the monsters, but the guardians? gone. easy to be cleaned up. the keepers don’t have a purpose anymore and the secret of wyveria’s unethical activities would eventually be forgotten. there would be no reason to go to the forbidden lands. wiping out an ecosystem is a small price to pay for peace.

but everything persisted anyways. the guardians are shown capable of becoming semi-organic, at least with g ark.

zoh shia can’t be the only edw-adjacent monster i’m sorry. you can’t tell me no civilization thought the same thing. heck, wyveria isn’t THE ancient civilization, rather it was a part of it. for them to be preparing for war despite no clear opposition could be because they anticipated something. why else would they demand dominance over an entire ecosystem? why would they make biological weapons instead of the standard super weapons everyone can have? they knew they were pushing it. there was a matter of time before something fought back. the only hope they had to keep dominance was to play by enough rules. even if they were somehow the only society capable of such a feat, it wasn’t just them who suffered.

with a bunch of elder dragons reawakening, premonitions of disaster and ecological changes, the guild has every reason to fear another war. perhaps they felt like they did something wrong, and they believed the only way to fix it was to pin it on someone. what happened to keep standing? the forbidden lands. the wyrmway. one of if not the last active remnant of the ancient civilization.

ngl i’d love to see capcom follow up on these implications. maybe we won’t get a dragon war 2 electric boogaloo but i’d love to see how letting the dragontorch remain impacts the entire world. hear me out-

[divatakesontruth]

you see... I think that in the logical way of no concepts I got it. and IT is that simple tbh, like... literally nothing here except the infinite perception of everything (smells, appearances, colors, people, past, present, future). none of this would exist without someone perceiving them, even the someone wouldn't be here because the "I" is nothing but THAT perceiving itself, right? like I'm not me, but rather perceiving this "thing" that I call "me". howeverrrr I still get affected by everything as if things are solid and it kills me, I can't help by grip hard onto everything that appears and disappears without being certain they were/are in fact here and happening. I know that trying doesn't lead to anything, but also not doing anything too. I honestly don't know anything anymore lol it's so weird. When I think "fuck this, I'll just keep being and not cling onto anything" it feels like I'm not actually doing this. I'm quite literally that meme that says "me as a kid pretending I don't care about the game loading so the game will load faster" 😶

Why are you relying so much on perception and feelings after you described their futility ? Doesn’t matter what anything “feels” like, the only one putting labels on what’s seemingly here is the mind of which we know is an “object” (in quotes because it has no substance) that you pointed out is known by something ,which is effortlessly us right?

So what’s there left to do? You’re approaching this as if there is a future goal to reach or a state you will achieve if you become one with consciousness or something but that’s just not it. You are already everything and everywhere you need (need is such a serious word lol don’t take it literally) to be , there’s nothing to do , let the mind murmur and babble and complain and cry and everything it can; it’s not targeted, it’s not motivated, it’s not evil, it’s just …there

So be here, just be here also , acknowledge your presence and allow it , literally just allow it. We’ve eliminated the mind’s imagined importance so what possibly could you HAVE to do now? But exist ?

[coalballbaby]

While I have my TF mic in my hand. Maybe I am a little more severe on Prowl than what my heart truly believes in... but I really can't express enough how much I've really seen it all. Highs and lows. So so so many lows. And if me being a little harder on him for the consequences of his actions (specifically on other characters) will balance out the amount of excuses I've seen made for Prowl by the fandom then so be it. I really do think it does a disservice to other characters within IDW by ignoring the butterfly effect. I will move a mountain to get even one person out of the individualistic Prowl-only-focus era

[bigtreefest]

Brace yourself. I’m sorry. This is a long one. I had soooooo many passages I needed to pull out for this poor Steve🥺😭

He hadn’t been able to decide if it was a good thing or not that nothing he did to himself ever left any marks.

But the idea of the icy water engulfing him was too much to bear. 

He still couldn’t wrap his head around everyone having cameras in their pockets. Wanting to remember every moment like that was terrifying.

Holy COW, there’s so much hurt densely packed into this first scene. The self-torture, the trauma of drowning and freezing, the need to avoid the reality he’s in. Steve is HURTING and even by physically running, there’s no escape😭

“Oh, thank goodness!” 

Honestly, this exclamation was jarring even when reading. I can’t imagine how poor Steve felt trying to get some peace in a place that didn’t feel very home-like, just to have someone else jumpscare him in his space

He wasn’t used to having a phone in his home, let alone his pocket, so the idea of feeling lost without it was completely foreign to him. But everyone looked at him like he had two heads when he tried to explain that, so now he kept it to himself. It was just one of an ever-growing list of things he kept to himself.

Things have changed sooo much! Not just technology, but availability! And it has to be hard to jump in so fast. And the fact that everyone around now looks at this as normal with little acknowledgement of day-to-day life in the past is severely overlooked!!

“Oh, uh.” Embarrassed. Ashamed. Anxious. On fire. Ready to bolt. “Fine,” he said. “I’m fine.” 

Always fine😭 I feel this sometimes. Even the smallest confrontations of discomforts make evasive action appealing

He felt something move inside his chest at that. His fingers drummed against his leg. That wasn't the reaction he was expecting. Everyone expected him to adjust and move on. But the look on your face was so sincere, so accepting, that all he could do was nod once, and then look away while clearing his throat.

This is so important!! The first taste of someone ready to hear his side, maybe.

“I understand things like meals and such feeling too hard, but, Steve, you’re allowed to enjoy things, that’s what makes a good life.”

Wow, she’s got him pinned. The question is why is he self-punishing like this. Coming back like this wasn’t his fault. And her he seems to thing everything is.

And she gives him a sort of grace and lack of judgement he’s probably never felt. Not when he was a skinny kid and especially not now as what’s supposed to be a hero

He wasn’t sure what exactly there was to process. Bad things happened. The wrong people survived. And everyone ended up alone. What was there to reset?

This says so much. Poor baby. There’s so much bitterness and pain in his soul. Outrage at the shortcomings of good people. It’s set in stone to him. That may be something he says he’s accepting, but is he really?

The point of all this is to help alphas, even the most bone-headed ones.

Ohhhhhh, bone-headed Steeb😔. I totally get her outrage here in him discounting the profession, even though it wasn’t on purpose. She handles it really well, though.

He’d been immediately branded as old-fashioned upon waking up, and he’d quickly gathered that that was thought to be not just bad, but malicious. But no one bothered to explain things to him without judgment. If given the chance, he would swear not to cross any lines. He just needed to know where the lines were first.

Yes! He needs taught! Given an opportunity!

He smiled back at you, and it didn't feel entirely fake.

Growth! (And pad Thai) will do that to you🥰

If he lay down, then he risked falling asleep. And if he slept, then he was pretty much guaranteed to have nightmares. And after the sort of day he’d had, they were sure to be especially horrific. No. He didn’t need sleep. He’d be fine.

Oh gosh. Yeah, nightmares are confronted for Bucky, but often not for Steve! It’s a different kind of trauma. It’s one that is often overlooked, hence why this series exists. I can’t wait to see if his sleep ever improves.

He had a TV, but he never really knew what to do with that

As we saw, Bucky used it for noise, for news, but I’m not sure if that hurts or helps Steve. Channels and channels of bad news or brain rot might just be worse. White noise is already what he has on a daily basis. The world is loud now and there’s no escape🥺

“It’s okay,” you said, gently. “We can just sit, if you want.” You settled yourself on his couch before giving him the softest look he’d been on the receiving end of since his mother died. “I didn’t want you to be alone.”

YES!!! Yes yes yes!!!!! He can’t be alone, and it’s so good that I think she gets it, even if she doesn’t fully know the extent of Steve’s issues. I can’t believe he’s essentially not sleeping at all bc it’s that bad. But I’m sure there’s a bit of an exhale and tinge of relaxation in Steve’s shoulders at not feeling alone. There’s something different about this omega’s presence. Hopefully something that can make him feel properly seen and heard and helped.

Bravo, Kris. This one really hurt, but that just leaves all the more room for healing🫶🏼 Steve can be rebuilt, I believe it

All Things Go 2

Pairing: Alpha Steve Rogers x Omega Female Reader

Word Count: ~3.3k

Summary: It's been a few months since Steve was pulled out of the ice and immediately had to fight aliens with the newly formed Avengers. He is doing fine with all that, all things considered. Which is why he's so upset when he's suddenly benched from missions and forced to welcome a support omega into his home. He's fine!

Warnings: Angst (with an eventual happy ending), Steve actually having to deal with the PTSD and depression and anxiety he would so clearly have if he'd been through everything in the MCU, this one really focuses on the depression, patterns of disassociation, pretty troubling self-talk, use of a derogatory term for sex-workers, alpha/beta/omega dynamics, possible slow burn - we'll see. All of my work is 18+ - Minors DNI

Dividers by me

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

A/N: Oh boy. This one might officially be my angstiest story. I know the competition is stiff, but Steve is really going through it here. Please be sure to read the warnings and take care of yourselves, my friends!

Thanks to @bigtreefest for doing a gut-check on the parts I wasn't sure about and always being a great cheerleader in general.

Any comment, reblog, or ask to let me know what you think will be greatly appreciated. And if you need to come scream at me, that's ok too!

As always, thank you so much for reading! 💜

The rhythmic slaps of his feet hitting the pavement were helping drown out all the noise in Steve’s head. He felt the air fill and leave his lungs as he pushed himself forward. His arms pumped at his sides, his hands curled into tight fists. He could go faster. He would. He needed to.

He wasn't sure what exactly had happened. One moment he'd been sitting across from you, the next he was on the floor. A moment later, he was on the street in front of his building, dressed in his running gear.

He’d reacted strongly to the news he was being benched for at least three months; he knew that much. It was embarrassing, losing it like that in front of a complete stranger. He was better than that. Stronger than that. He had no excuse to be that weak anymore.

He pushed his body harder, faster, needing the burn, the ache to be louder than everything else going on in his head. The scenery blurred beside him as he just focused on going further further further. Harder harder harder. He felt the never-ending cycle of pain and healing in his feet, his shins, his quads. The skin cells of his palms trying to grow back as his fingernails bit in. He hadn’t been able to decide if it was a good thing or not that nothing he did to himself ever left any marks.

He stopped short when the asphalt in front of him suddenly disappeared, wrought-iron guard rails standing in his way. Oh. He’d made it to the bay. He hadn’t realized he’d gone that far. He took a breath. Then another. He should turn around. He should go home. That’s what he should do. But he just couldn’t make himself turn around, head in the right direction. He briefly contemplated leaping into the bay, swimming to Staten Island so he could keep going, keep running. But the idea of the icy water engulfing him was too much to bear. 

“Holy shit! Is that Cap?!”

He grimaced, and the urge to take his chances in the water grew stronger. But only for a moment. Then he pasted a friendly smile on his face and turned around, waving at the onlookers. He posed for ten pictures before he felt like it wouldn’t be rude to pull away, his skin crawling the whole time, desperate to hide from the attention. He still couldn’t wrap his head around everyone having cameras in their pockets. Wanting to remember every moment like that was terrifying.

After waving goodbye to the growing crowd, there wasn’t really anything else to do but run back to the apartment. He dragged his feet as he turned around. It would be fine. He would be fine. He always was.

Not long after everything, S.H.E.I.L.D. had set him up in an apartment that occupied the entire 2nd floor of a brownstone in BedStuy. Agents lived in the units above and below him, although he wasn’t supposed to know that. He’d thought a few times about telling Fury that he might want to invest in a more subtle form of surveillance, but what would be the point? Nothing he said really mattered. To anyone.

He’d requested it when they first moved him out of HQ, a place in his beloved Brooklyn. But now, as he did his best not to look at the city as he ran past it—the skyscrapers, the neon signs, the national chains—he thought for the thousandth time how foolish that had been. The Brooklyn he loved was gone. And he would never get it back.

Too soon, he was slowing down in front of his stoop. He reminded himself to breathe. And again. And again. It would be fine. It was his home now. It was ridiculous to feel like he was scared of a place. It was just a series of rooms. It couldn’t hurt him. Not much could. Not in a way that mattered, anyway.

He pushed himself into the building, then up the single flight of stairs that brought him to his apartment. One last deep breath gave him the strength to open the door and walk into his home. Or, at least, the place where he lived.

“Oh, thank goodness!” 

Your exclamation brought his attention across his open-plan living room to where you were in his small kitchen. All of the cabinets were open, and there was a notebook lying open on the counter with a pen beside it. He quickly walked over to you. “What are you doing?”

“Huh?” you asked, looking around like you were seeing all of it for the first time. “Oh. I’m taking an inventory of your food and making a grocery list.” And then you didn’t pause long enough for him to follow up. “I know we haven’t had a chance to set up guidelines and establish boundaries, but while we’re working together, I would really appreciate it if you didn’t storm out of here without your phone. Especially when you’re in such a vulnerable state.” You took a deep breath. “I was very concerned.”

He looked at you, confused, the tension in your shoulders, the furrow in your brow. You’d changed, he noticed for the first time. You were no longer in the professional attire he’d greeted you in, but now stretchy leggings and an oversized sweatshirt that slipped off your shoulder. His gaze settled on your soft skin and the empty space at the juncture of your neck and shoulders where a bite mark would g– His gaze jumped back up to your face. “I wasn’t in a vulnerable state. I was running. For exercise.”

Your lips turned down into a thin line. You held his gaze in a way that made him both want to look away and somehow unable to. “Right,” you finally said with a sigh. “Well, in any case, I’d appreciate it if you brought your phone with you when you go out. Just in case.”

He nodded, mostly to placate you. It wasn’t that he left it on purpose. He just… never thought to bring it, hardly thought of it at all. He wasn’t used to having a phone in his home, let alone his pocket, so the idea of feeling lost without it was completely foreign to him. But everyone looked at him like he had two heads when he tried to explain that, so now he kept it to himself. It was just one of an ever-growing list of things he kept to himself.

But his nod seemed to be enough for you. You let out a sigh of relief and said, “Okay. Thank you.” 

He just nodded again. He didn’t know what else to do. 

You gave him a long, serious look. It made him want to run again. But he didn’t. “How are you feeling now?” you finally asked.

“Oh, uh.” Embarrassed. Ashamed. Anxious. On fire. Ready to bolt. “Fine,” he said. “I’m fine.” 

You hummed in consideration and tilted your head in thought. “You know,” you started, your tone too even, “I’m actually not a big fan of that word. Fine. It’s a cover-up word. I think we can do better, don’t you? While we’re working together, describe our feelings in a different way.”

He swallowed the scoff, just dying to crawl out of his throat. We. Sure. He’d been brought in front of a gaggle of therapists after he’d come out of the ice. They’d said nonsense like that, too. It was all useless. “I honestly don’t know how else to say it,” he said with a shrug.

“Can you try? Today got pretty intense, you must have some feelings about it.” 

He sighed. The only thing that made him talk was the way you were looking at him, your face shockingly free of judgment. “I feel silly,” he said quietly, “to have made such a big deal over nothing. This is just the way my life is now. There’s nothing for me to do but accept it.”

You let out another thoughtful hum. “I’m not going to argue any of those points with you for now. But. I do want to say that I will never think you’re silly for having strong feelings about what’s happened to you and the way your life’s turned out. I can promise you that.” 

He felt something move inside his chest at that. His fingers drummed against his leg. That wasn't the reaction he was expecting. Everyone expected him to adjust and move on. But the look on your face was so sincere, so accepting, that all he could do was nod once, and then look away while clearing his throat. He glanced around again at all the open cabinets in his kitchen. “Why are you taking inventory of my kitchen?”

For the briefest moment, you looked sheepish, but it was gone in a flash, replaced by the determination he was already coming to associate with you. “Well,” you said, “I started it to give myself something to do while you were gone, but then I discovered that you don’t have any food, Steve.”

“I have food,” he said, purposely not looking at all of the bare cabinets and shelves. “It’s all in the refrigerator.”

He was surprised when you rolled your eyes. Not because it felt judgmental, but because it was casual. Comfortable. It’d been a long time since someone felt comfortable with him. “Yeah,” you said, “I found the protein shakes in the fridge. That isn’t food, that’s–” you paused to find the right word. When you did, it was dripping with disdain, “sustenance.”

He took a step back, suddenly self-conscious. “I need a lot of calories a day. The protein shakes are just easier.”

You looked at him thoughtfully. “Okay,” you said. “Noted on the calorie intake. And–” you paused as your gaze softened, “I understand things like meals and such feeling too hard, but, Steve, you’re allowed to enjoy things, that’s what makes a good life.”

He swallowed around a lump in his throat, but he didn’t say anything. He didn’t—couldn’t—tell you that he was pretty sure that ship had sailed for him. Even if that was the truth. 

After a long moment of silence, you spoke again. “Listen, I’m not going to make you get rid of the protein shakes. But I am going to put in a grocery order,” you held up your small notebook, the page filled with your neat handwriting, “just so we both have some other options. And” you added, glancing at the time on your phone, “I think we should order in for dinner. What do you think about some Thai food?”

He cleared his throat as heat flooded his face. “I, uh– I don’t really know what I think about Thai food.” He braced himself for your inevitable reaction. Oh my god, seriously?? Or how have you never had Thai food???

But you didn’t ask either of those questions. You didn’t act appalled or scandalized or even surprised. You just cocked your head to the side and asked, “Do you trust me?”

He just stood and stared at you, his mouth wide open as he tried to find any words that might answer that question, even though he had no idea what that answer would even be.

Before he got any closer to figuring that out, you gave an embarrassed laugh, shaking your head. “Oh my god, why did I ask that? Of course, you don’t yet. It’s only been, what? Three hours since I barged into your house? Sorry. Let me ask this instead: Would you be okay with me ordering a bunch of different dishes, and you can try any of them that look good and see what you like?”

Your phone was already in your hand, swiping across the screen. “Sure,” he said, even as dread filled him. This had happened countless times since he’d woken up in this century. He’d be presented with something new to him that was apparently commonplace now, and then whoever it was (usually Tony) would watch him like a hawk to see how he reacted. To make sure he had the right reaction. It was so much pressure. He hated it.

“Okay,” you said, with an easy smile. “I’ll let you know when it’s almost here.” And then you went back to working on the grocery list.

Surprised at being seemingly dismissed, Steve realized it was probably time for a post-run shower.

After unpacking what looked like an actual mountain of food, you must have caught Steve’s deer-in-the-headlights expression because you quickly offered to make him a plate. You explained each dish to him as you added it to the plate, then handed it over with much less of a to-do than he was expecting. You turned your full attention to your own food and mostly left him alone. It was a relief not to have to put on a show of trying new things. It was almost a new experience to just be able to taste the food and form his own opinions.

But he still felt uncomfortable with you in his home, just eating silently next to you. What would Sarah Rogers have to say about his hosting abilities? “So, uh,” he tried, in between bites, “you said you’ve done this for three other SHIELD agents?”

You nodded as you swallowed. “Yeah, I’ve been called into SHIELD three different times, usually after missions gone wrong. To help the agents at the center of it process what happened and reset. And give them a safe space to do so.”

Steve mulled that over for a moment. He wasn’t sure what exactly there was to process. Bad things happened. The wrong people survived. And everyone ended up alone. What was there to reset? “Do you work exclusively with agents?”

“Oh no,” you said, shaking your head. “The majority of alphas I’ve worked with have been civilians. I’ve had long-term assignments with eight alphas in total, so far. You’re my ninth. I do other short-term work in between. But the long-term assignments are my favorite.” It had to be the exhausting nature of the day he’d had that was the reason he couldn’t hide his shock at that number. You furrowed your brow at him. “What’s so surprising about that?”

“Oh,” he ducked his head, trying to school his expression. “I just– My understanding was that part of the point of all this for you, for omegas, was to find a mate. I thought the long-term ones often ended up that way. I was just surprised you’ve done this so many times and are still…” he trailed off at the look on your face. The only word that came to mind was thunderous.

And that’s all you did for a very long moment, just stare at him silently. Then, with a sharp intake of breath, you said, “The point of all this is to help alphas, even the most bone-headed ones. I do this because I believe that everyone, no matter their designation, deserves to feel safe and happy and have access to the mental health care that will serve them best. So, no, I’m not just doing this as a way to get someone to mark me.” And then you took a large bite of food and chewed it so very angrily. He wasn’t sure he’d ever seen someone do that before.

He cleared his throat awkwardly, looking down. He was fucking everything up, everywhere he went. He never tried to offend, but that was all he seemed to do. And it didn’t help that no one seemed willing to ever give him the benefit of the doubt. He’d been immediately branded as old-fashioned upon waking up, and he’d quickly gathered that that was thought to be not just bad, but malicious. But no one bothered to explain things to him without judgment. If given the chance, he would swear not to cross any lines. He just needed to know where the lines were first.

“I’m sorry,” he finally said, “I didn’t mean– the omegas I used to know, they wanted different things, I guess. And maybe I’m not doing a good job of catching up, but I’m trying.”

He could feel your eyes on him for a moment that just stretched on. He didn’t dare look up to see what your face was doing. Then, he heard the air rush from your lungs, and you said, “And I probably reacted too harshly, so I’m sorry for that. There’s just– there’s a lot of cultural baggage around support omegas. Some people call us ‘hookers with advanced degrees,’ or other things that are a lot worse. But I really am just here because I want to help people. Steve, I want to help you.”

He let himself look up at you and found that your anger was completely gone, replaced only by sincerity. He nodded as he moved some food around his plate with his fork.

You let the silence last for a minute, then asked, “So, what’d you think? You like any of the food?”

He took the olive branch for what it was. “It’s good. Different, but good.” He pointed to a noodle dish, “I really liked that one.”

You smiled, and it lit up your whole face. “Pad Thai. That’s a good one. A classic.”

He smiled back at you, and it didn't feel entirely fake.

When it came time for bed, he went through the motions. He changed into sleep pants and a t-shirt. He brushed his teeth. He washed his face. He said goodnight to you and watched you go into the guest room. He even went so far as to sit on his bed for several long minutes. But he didn’t lie down. He couldn’t do that.

If he lay down, then he risked falling asleep. And if he slept, then he was pretty much guaranteed to have nightmares. And after the sort of day he’d had, they were sure to be especially horrific. No. He didn’t need sleep. He’d be fine.

So he sat. And he stared at the wall. And he listened and he waited. The house settled, and everything got quiet. When things had been so quiet that you must have been asleep for several minutes, he moved into the living room as quietly as he could. Not that this room was much better, but it was bigger and he felt less hemmed in. Now all he needed to do was kill time until the sun started to come up. Then he could go for a run, and if you caught him, he could just act like he was an early riser.

But the night stretched on in front of him. He tried to read, but he couldn’t focus. He had a TV, but he never really knew what to do with that, and he didn’t want to risk waking you up. Before, he may have passed the time drawing in his sketchbook. But he couldn’t stomach it now. So he settled in for a long night of staring at the clock.

He must have been so in his own head that he was startled by a noise in the hallway. He looked up to see you walking into the living room, dressed in soft-looking PJs, trailing a blanket he’d just purchased behind you. He gaped at you for a moment. “Oh, uh– I was just–”

You shook your head. “It’s okay,” you said, gently. “We can just sit, if you want.” You settled yourself on his couch before giving him the softest look he’d been on the receiving end of since his mother died. “I didn’t want you to be alone.”

Tag list is open

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[tanicus-caesareth]

guarana drama, damage control

[that-was-anticlimactic]

the lack of respect for the httyd books pisses me off ugh

[orangeearlgrey]

Lost my original post of this from the other day but I genuinely don't understand how Black Butler discourse ever shifted into the does Sebastian ~really~ like Ciel or is Ciel just dinner line of conversation that is pervasive as it is because Sebastian is the one that has absorbed his whole existence into Ciel's. Sebastian's face is what Ciel wants Sebastian's whole purpose is doing things for Ciel Sebastian's every hell of a butler yes my lord speech is about how he's Ciel's and Ciel is the one going around saying shit like whatever Sebastian is just my pawn 💅

[camellia-thea]

initially this post had some commentary about interests right now. and then it turned into a ramble about personal healing in the tags. so the interest post is going separately.

[sandupommelfrog]

haha venting

its also so wild hearing someone say 'oh they couldve been the worst employee in the world but they were your friend' when they werent even my employee in the first place and i required very little of them in exchange for using my space and also we never interacted outside the context of our profession. like i could not name 3 of this person's hobbies nor could she do the same for me. im so fucking over this this is ridiculous

[running-in-the-dark]

today was exhausting - my friend was here for about 7 hours and I just. oh man I love her and all but it's just a lot sometimes. it's probably for the best that we only meet up like 2-4 times a year now (gives me enough time to forget how draining it is so I look forward to it, and recover afterwards)

I don't talk to anyone but my husband most days, and he doesn't really talk. so that's maybe 15 minutes total of talking. and today it was literally. 7 hours. no breaks except when we were eating (but no even then someone was always talking).

first of all ouch, it hurts (my voice is very hoarse now). and also. it's so so so draining. like. we really have nothing in common at this point. but she's my oldest friend and I do love her so it's tolerable... but just barely. these days there's way too much diet/food/weight loss talk, and also she seems to be getting into alternative medicine which I cannot fucking stand (it's one topic where I can't pretend or be nice about it either). lots and lots of very preachy vegan stuff too (I don't have any problems with it, I admire people who can do it, but fuck dude you know I eat meat and that I've said many times that I *can't* go vegan (I would starve. there's not enough foods that would be left. seriously.) and it feels pretty shitty to keep going on about it every damn time. I'm not sitting there trying to convince her that she should really be an atheist or something, because I know what her thoughts are about that and I respect it.

when she hangs out with her other friends a lot it's mostly just talking about all the issues that come from that (they fucking suck). I don't know, it kind of feels like I'm her therapist. when I talk about something I'm interested in she doesn't ask many questions and it kind of sucks. like, dude I don't care about your plants either, but I'm interested because you care, so. maybe try that too. would be nice!

[eggjaculations]

i think everyone should be exposed to a lot of various types of like, real culture at a young age. i know that seems like a ‘duh’ ass statement but there are those of us, who—through no fault of their own, or even anyone around them—do not understand the concept of timeless classics. this is not limited to western classics. and not just exposed but taught in a succinct way why it’s important to at least acknowledge it.

[cherie-doll]

LADS: When You Don't Give Them A Kiss

༻ Xavier, Zayne, Rafayel, Sylus, Caleb ༺

₊˚✧ Xavier loves his goodnight kisses. Won't be able to sleep right if you don't give them to him. Which is why he immediately frowned the moment you turned away from him after only saying good night. He had already leaned in closer for you to kiss him when you had cut him off. He's frozen in place, surprised at seeing you laying your head on your pillow without a care in the world; ready to drift off to sleep. But how can you do that to him? Surely you aren't forgetting something? I mean, it's custom by now, you do it every night. It's embedded in his brain to do this, so why are you suddenly being so forgetful. He hesitates but eventually moves in closer, nuzzling into your neck as his arms come around your waist. You complain that it's too hot for him to be doing this, but his response is something along the lines of "too bad". You forgot something important to him so now deal with the consequences; he'll be all up on you throughout the entire night.

₊ ೀ Zayne has a strict routine as a doctor. He wakes up early despite having prepared everything the night before, and as organized as he is, he cannot leave without first feeling your lips on his. It's literally his number one priority every morning before he leaves. He can go the day with forgetting his lunch, or even combing his hair properly, but can no longer wait until he gets to you later that night. Sometimes you'll sleep in and not wake up to give him a kiss and he'll try hanging back hoping you awaken before he has to walk out the door. He's sat at the edge of the bed, his work clothes on and everything ready but just clinging to the hope you remember. And no he won't wake you up, he isn't careless and he'll feel bad if he does. As a hunter, you need that rest and he prioritizes that before his selfish desires.

༄༢ུ࿓ Rafayel will actually do his job for once and go to an art exhibition that Thomas has arranged for him if you give him a kiss. Sort of like a good luck type of thing that makes him feel like things will be tolerable if he remembers the warmth of your lips on his. But this time he's stuck waiting by the front door, tapping his foot against the floor as he impatiently waits for you to return. He brings out his phone to reread the message you had sent, you had gone out and were expected to come back in time to accompany him to art exhibition. But it seems you're running late and Rafayel isn't in the mood to meet up with you there. You call him and are immediately greeted by his attitude. You can hear the slight whine in his voice when he asks why you're not there yet. Truthfully, you feel a little bad to hear him be so distressed. Perhaps you'll make it up to him later.

ᨳ᭬ Sylus isn't letting you off the hook so easily. You came up to him while he was relaxed to tell him you would be going out. As usual, you come up to his spot on the couch and wrap your arms around his shoulders. You tell him you'll be back later and he hums, acknowledging what you've said. But he furrows his brows, his smile disappearing when you just leave to grab your bag. He looks up from his phone to see you ready to take off when you catch his gaze. Oh, if he were more gullible he'd believe that "what's wrong?" face of yours. But he knows you better than that. You can sense the amusement in his voice when he asks "Aren't you forgetting something?". You cock your head trying to keep up the act a little longer before you give in. He had a smug look on his face, knew you wouldn't actually dare to leave his place before properly saying goodbye to him. Plus you would never hear the end of it if Luke and Kieran found out.

❦ Caleb would probably believe your act for a minute max before realizing you're teasing him. After not seeing each other for a couple of days due to your busy schedules, surely a hug isn't all he's getting... right? Your bright smile won't distract him from what he's really after. You feign confusion when you realize his grip on you isn't loosening as you try to pull away from his embrace. You call out his name, annoyed as you make more of an effort to push him away. You're secretly fighting a smile from forming when he only pulls you closer. You huff, telling him to stop teasing you, but he swears it's you who's doing the teasing. He sways side to side with you in his arms, you think about how ridiculous you must look and catch some people staring and hear them exclaim about what a cute couple you two are. Finally, when you no longer want to deprive him you stand as straight as you can to reach his face and give him a kiss. He lets you go after and looks at you, "was that really so hard to do?"

[devondespresso]

trying to rewatch stuff for fic reference in stranger things season 4 is particularly painful because there is clearly the one plot (of the several consecutive plots) thats The Important One (its El's) and its the least investing one possible (sorry girly ily i promise)

im trying to rewatch that scene where the hawkins gang break into the school, and in my head its a straightforward line of events, its got its own unique location, objective, everything it need to be a simple, impactful standalone scene.

but its the hawkins-kids plot. so actually its put through a paper shredder along with a few other plots and little strips of it are scattered between bigger strips of one of the El-plot scenes, specifically owens telling the viewer El the super duper scary stakes of the plot.

so the progression literally goes like

30~ seconds of max steve and dustin in the office

45~ seconds of lucas and the team

30~ seconds owens talking

20~ seconds lucas

a few seconds of Lucas and hop on screen while owen talks

50~ second of owens talking

10~ seconds or less im not sure of cali gang

10~ seconds owens

<10 seconds of max steve dustin, half of which owens is again talking over

10~ second owens

40~ seconds max

50~ seconds owens

10~ seconds cali gang

35~ seconds owens

60~ seconds max, finishing her scene and ending the episode

im. going. crazy.