#so. we're here and we're powering through

[bunnys-kisses]

Your writing is so good! I hope this request is okay.

Could I please order some chocolate cake and shortbread squares please with some juice for Carlos sainz. Maybe friendly rivals. :))))

bakery menu

want to submit your own order? then hit up the menu! there's tons of things to order from it! i really enjoy making these and i love what ya'll have prompted me! so thank you! and for this lovely anon i hope that you love this story!

chocolate cake ("do you feel that? that's what happens when i think about you all day.") + shortbread squares ("you're just mad that that my cock fits perfectly in you now. must be a blow to the ego that we're a perfect match.") + juice (cockwarming) served by carlos sainz jr (formula one)!!

cw: smut/pwp, cockwarming, (friendly) rivals, driver's room sex, semi-public sex, secret relationship, a lot of kissing

"you drive me crazy, mi amor." carlos said as he started to unzip his driving suit, your hands were on him in return. your lips were dangerously close together.

"please." you replied, "i don't think this is the hottest you've ran." you leaned in to seal the deal as he got the driving suit off of his shoulders. his lips tasted like heaven, he even used the lip balm that you suggested.

you and carlos were like thunder and lightning on the track. he had the speed while you had the power. and together you made quite the storm. some would call you rivals, but when it was the two of you alone in the driver's room long after everyone went home, you were more like lovers.

it was late into the evening, most had gone home. and you two were supposed to be in your respected motor homes for the night. but george and charles were doing you both favors while you two had some alone time in carlos' driver's room.

"i think he went out to dinner." charles shrugged when an assistant asked where carlos went.

and george's excuse was the tried and true method, "you know how she always walks for miles when she's on the phone with your mother." followed by a laugh. you owed both of these men so much.

the door to the driver's room was locked and you slowly got out of your driving clothes and could feel carlos' gaze on your body. you knew he loved the site of you, your curves that you had. you could easily drive him wild.

"don't look like a dog, sainz. have a little respect."

he shifted in his seat on the couch and palmed through his briefs. he licked his lips. he leaned a little bit and asked, "do you see that? that's what happens when i think about you all day."

you watched him get his cock out of his briefs and relaxed further against the couch. his smile hung and you felt a stutter in your heart. you hated how he could read you inside out and backwards. damn, sainz. but yet you were enticed to come closer and eventually got onto his lap. the both of you near naked, at least your bottom halves were.

you even got yourself out of the printed socks you wore today. you were still in your sports bra while he was shirtless. you looked into his dark eyes and smiled at him, "see what happens when i think about you all day?" then smiled.

carlos palmed our breasts and pressed his face between them. he looked up at you with those doe eyes that could put deer to shame. he replied, "i can hear your heartbeat."

you combed your fingers through his hair as you rubbed your bare pussy against his cock. you swallowed, "i thought about you all day." you held his face and looked down at him, "i have to be honest. you make racing fun, my red rider." then with a little help you sank down onto his cock. your toes curled.

"shit."

"fuck."

"come here." you said as you pulled him in for anther heated kiss. you didn't ride him. due to the hour of the day (or rather night), you two could go slower. you could cockwarm him while your lips got familiar with his. you held his face once more and he wrapped his arms around you tightly. he gazed up at you almost with love and you smiled before you kissed once more.

you hated to admit it but, you liked cockwarming him. and if you could've been in the motor home together tonight without having to worry about being too loud for your teammates, you would've happily had the comfort of a shared bed.

at least there was the off-season. you had, without the prying eyes of the press, moved some of your belongings to his home. it was a spare lip gloss here, your spare retainer, there were a few more mercedes shirts in the closet. even a stuffed animal that carlos got you after you won your second gran prix (winning twice meant it wasn't a fluke).

"you feel good against me." he said with a smile.

"oh shut up, sainz." you arched your back a little bit as his cock nudged against one of your sweet spots and it made you feel hot all over.

he chuckled, warmth in his voice as he said, "you're just mad that that my cock fits perfectly in you now. must be a blow to the ego that we're a perfect match."

you looked down at him and held onto his face a little tighter, "oh, i've seen your cock compared to some of the others. i think that maybe danny or max will suit me just fine." you moved your hips a little and watched carlos melt a little, "if i want something that doesn't bruise my cervix, maybe your teammate charles will a work.. or maybe my own teammate."

carlos made a face, "you better not be running off into george's arms. if you know what's good for you." then shuddered when you started to move a little more. he groaned against you. he knew that you'd have to cockwarm him again and sometime soon.

you two kissed while you continued to move against him. he held onto you tightly while you rode his cock. the kisses became messier the more you moved against him. it was hot and left a fire in your gut.

you both didn't last long, carlos' dirty words in your mouth as you rode him on the couch. he said to you, "next time. next time i'm keeping you on me all night. sleep together like that. i want to wake up and feel you." he said as he groped your breasts. you could feel your heartbeat in your chest as you reached your climax.

your toes curled once more as you panted heavily. you pulled him into another hot kiss. you whimpered into the kiss while he held onto you, meeting you staggered pace. he groaned into the kiss as he finished inside of you.

you both slowed down and you rested against him for a moment as you tried to catch your breath. he kissed the side of your head with love. you held onto his shoulders and composed yourself.

"next time, sainz." you said as you patted his chest, "we're doing this all night. and it'll be after i beat you on the track." that rival streak was coming out of you as you gazed at him.

he chuckled and looked at you, "sure, mi amor. now why don't we get dressed before someone tries to find us. our lie can't work forever." then kissed up your chest.

"yeah, george and charles have done enough for us tonight." you knew you'd get an earful from your teammate, but at that moment when you watched carlos redress. it was worth it. <3

[thatonebirdwrites]

Cheating Death Part 3

Part 1 and Part 2 Doctor Alex Danvers and Karen Starr moved in perfect symmetry, as they worked to extract the bullets.

Kara had sensed the one that punctured Lena's lung, but another had been hidden by her spine. Her stomach rumbled, but the granola bar Nia had dropped off sat uneaten in Kara's pocket. Instead, she kept her vigil, her stomach knotted at the sight of Lena's still form. Alex had been stiff-lipped about the prognosis. Each second, minute, hour, Lena still breathed, unconscious, while the doctors sewed her body back together. Machines hummed and beeped, and Kara took to pacing a groove into the floor. Nia had tried twice to convince her to come eat with the others, but Kara couldn't leave Lena.

If she did, she'd do more dangerous stunts, testing the edge of her powers, just to not feel the intense shame, fear, and worry that throbbed through her muscles.

One of the nurses rushed out of the room. "Rh-null blood!" she shouted to one of the technicians, further down the medical wing. "We need another batch!"

"That's our last one!" the technician called back. "Ms. Lena Luthor was our only donor."

"What do you mean Rh-null blood?" Kara asked, anxiously.

"Need it to prevent hemolysis," the nurse said. "Her blood type is one of the rarest, compatible as a donor with any human blood type, but only able to receive Rh-null blood in return."

Dread curdled through Kara. "When does she need this?"

"As soon as possible," the nurse glanced back at Alex and the other doctor.

Alex leaned over Lena's bed with her tools, her body blocking the spine region from view. They'd propped Lena up on her side with a thick pillow on the other. Her skin was pallid, deep shadows under her eyes, and her body limp against the body pillow. A terrifying sight for Kara.

Kara clenched her jaw. She pushed past the nurse despite the nurse's protestations. "Alex! Does she need another transfusion?"

Alex waved a blood-stained glove at her. "Kara, don't interrupt, and yes. Nurse --"

"We're out of her blood type. Nurse said it was super rare, is that true?" Kara ached to reach out to hold Lena's limp hand, but she didn't want to disturb the delicate surgery.

Alex looked up. Even with the mask, she looked haggard. "Well shit. And yes. i wouldn't even know how to begin to find it. All the stock we had is what Lena herself donated. She's one of the few Rh-null donors in the world."

Kara grimaced. "Then what about synthetic blood? I could make some in the Fortress if I had a sample of her blood."

"Synthetic? Would her body reject it?" Dr. Karen Starr glanced at Kara, her eyebrows scrunched. She held a scalpel in her hand, its edge gleaming silver in the florescent lighting.

"Not if it's an exact match. I should be able to replicate down to the atomic level, but..." Kara nibbled on her lower lip and the urge to weep nearly overcame her. "I could only do a small amount. It takes considerable time and energy to do larger batches. Maybe enough for one or two transfusions."

She didn't want to admit that it had been years since she did any science of this magnitude, and that had been with Kryptonian blood, which differed slightly from human. The protocol for working the synthesizers was the same regardless.

One of the monitors beeped. Alex cursed again. "She's dipping again. Starr we may need a breathing tube if she continues to dive." She stripped off her gloves, tossed them in the bio-waste, and replaced them. "Kara, if you can pull that off, then we need it as soon as possible." She used the IV to pull a small vial of blood. She handed it to Kara.

"I'll be back in a jiffy." She dashed out of the room, leaving a gust of wind in her wake.

Again the sonic boom rattled the windows of National City. The blood vial she held close to her chest.

Returning to the Fortress so soon left her feeling ill.

Here Lena had saved her from Rama Khan. Here Lena and her had fought. And here, Lena encased her in a Kryptonite ice cage. The horrifying truth was Kara could have broken free, it'd been painful, but she had the strength. Instead, she'd stood there, stunned.

If Lena had decided to kill her, Kara would have let it happen. There was no doubt in her mind; she could never fight Lena.

But Lena hadn't wanted to kill her. She'd done all she could to make sure Kara recovered fast. That seeded Kara's wrecked heart with a wild hope.

Turning down a side corridor, she raced for the medical wing of the fortress, the area she had not taken Lena. Inside a massive tube took up much of the room, with several medical instruments, machinery, and a control panel covered in Kryptonian glyphs.

She keyed the command for the synthesis of blood, a program coded into the Fortress long ago, likely when Kal's father sent it on its way.

She flipped open the side panel and inserted the tube. Now Lena Luthor's blood would join her own and Kal's in the archive, along with all of Kara's and Kal's family.

A three-dimensional DNA strand appeared in the air, along with various imaging of the cells contained in the blood. She keyed an analysis against her limited database, then keyed the command for a replica of the blood.

A red alert appeared requesting more material. Kara scowled, of course. Can't synthesize a larger amount from nothing.

She recalled a vague lesson from her father. How he'd used raw ingredients from plants to show her how any ingredients worked for synthesizer as long as it held the correct set of elements.

So, okay, raw ingredients could come from anything. So why not herself?

All that mattered was that the final product exactly match Lena's blood.

"Kara Zor El?" Kelex floated up to her. "Do you need assistance?"

She glanced at the floating robot. "Yes, actually. I need you to take my blood and put it in the synthesizer. It's low on ingredients."

He flew closer to the medical control panel. "This is human blood you are synthesizing. Are you certain you wish to do this?"

Kara rolled up her sleeve and held out her arm. "Yes, do it." She closed her eyes and tensed for the pain of a kryptonite needle. Kelex worked quietly. The soft slosh of blood in the tubing he'd hooked into the synthesizer rang with the hum of the machine.

She opened her eyes to see the data from her donation form on the other side of Lena's blood imaging. She watched in fascination as her blood was broken down into its smallest components and reassembled with Lena's parameters.

The entire process lasted fifteen minutes, but it felt like a lifetime. Kara kept shifting and nearly dislodged Kelex's needle from her vein twice.

When the signal rang for completion, Kelex applied an coagulating agent to her wound and gathered up the tubing. "This will be destroyed per protocol. Do you wish to destroy the original sample?"

Kara tugged the larger container free from the synthesizer. The smaller vial still sat in its slot. "Yes. Thanks Kelex. I got to go."

The entire flight back her head swam with dizziness from the blood draw, the night sky not at all conducive toward recovery. By the time she stumbled into the surgery room with the container, it'd been nearly twenty-five minutes.

"Please tell me I'm on time," she said.

Alex stared at the metal container. Several monitors beeped alarmingly in the background. "Yeah, yeah, how do I work it? Because she needs it now."

She showed Alex the set of controls and where the tube could be inserted for the transfer. "I tried to make enough to last awhile."

Alex swiftly hooked it up to Lena's IV. "All that from a small sample?"

"Well, not exactly." Kara rubbed the back of her neck. "I used my own blood as raw ingredients so the synthesizer could reformulate it for Lena."

"Shit." Alex's hand hesitated on the clip that would start the transfusion. "Are you sure it's safe?"

"Hundred percent match to the original sample. Do you have a choice?" Kara crossed her arms. "You said her blood type is rare."

"Nearest hospital with Rh-null stock has only a quarter of what we need," Dr. Starr said. She worked on the final stitches to Lena's spine surgery. "We've had no other replies on the network."

"Fine. Let's hope this works." She flicks the clip and breathes out a long sigh. "As for you," she pointed to Kara, "great work. Now shoo and go sit under the sunbed. You look pale as fuck." Alex waved her hands toward the door. "I'll let you know when she wakes."

When. Alex said when.

Hope dug its roots into Kara's heart for the first time that day. *** Light danced across her eyelids. Whispers echoed in her ears. Soft fabric lay across her skin. Pain melded with the aggravating thirst and pulsing headache.

If she was dead, then the pain would cease.

Which meant she was alive.

Her eyes slowly opened to a small room of mostly glass walls. She lay on a bed, and a sheet and blue blanket covered her body. Someone dressed in a white lab coat and black pants fiddled with the IV bags. Or rather one metal container that had a tube connected to her IV, its contents blood-red.

The red hair cropped short rang with familiarity. "Alex?" Lena rasped. Speaking hurt her throat. Her mouth way too dry.

The woman turned with a smile of relief. "Hey, the sleeping beauty finally awakes." She turned and lifted the blanket to adjust the blood pressure cuff and examine the IV needle in her elbow. "Maybe now my sister will stop bothering the hell out of me."

"Kara?" Lena struggled to comprehend what happened. "How? What is that? Why am I..." She tried to lift her finger to point at the container, but she seemed to have misplaced her strength on the stairwell.

"The signal watch." Alex lifted her head to study Lena, her eyebrows furrowed. "You're lucky. A few minutes later and I'm not sure even surgery would have saved you. You lost far too much blood. It's a good thing you donate blood a lot, as we had to do several transfusions. When our stock ran low, Kara raced to the fortress to synthesize more."

Lena struggled to parse Alex's words. "Synthesized?"

Alex shrugged. "I'm no expert on Kryptonian tech. That's Kara, Kal, and Brainy. All I know is she used her own blood as ingredients to craft a replica of yours."

"Her own blood?" Lena repeated, stunned.

But why? She'd raged at Kara, trapped her in a Kryptonite cage, deceived her for months, and yet Kara saved her? And why was Alex helping her? If Alex knew about the Kryptonite cage, she'd be more likely to shoot her or throw her in a cage to die. Not save her life.

Hot brands swept through her neck and back, and she hissed, her eyes briefly closing. The machine hummed next to her like an irritating bee. Each pump alleviated some of the dizziness, but the pain burned with a dogged persistence.

Alex reached over her to dim the lights. "Look, I get the whole being reluctant to use the watch. But for that situation? You should have used it sooner." She fiddled with a tablet. "Those bullets did some nasty damage."

She gave Lena a faint smile. "You also don't have to worry about Leviathan assassins any further. Kara took care of them."

"Took care of them?" She felt like a parrot, repeating words that made no sense to her. "But why? We -- we fought."

Alex hesitated far too long, her smile tight. "Ah, she just took care of them. They won't bother anyone going forward."

It dawned on her slowly. "She killed them? But..."

Alex understood her trailed off sentence. "I know," she said, softly. She grasped Lena's hand and squeezed gently. "It's against her code to kill, but you've always been her exception."

This was a dream. It had to be a dream.

Tears blurred her vision, and although she tried to hold them back, they burned on her cheeks. Her body throbbed in agony, her condition atrocious, and this information overwhelmed.

She had been prepared to die on the stairs. Any signal watch activation had been only for a last goodbye.

Kara should have left her there. Moved on and found someone better. Not save Lena, who out of bitterness and heartbreak hurt Kara and deceived her for months.

With a tenderness she didn't deserve, Alex wiped away the tears with a kleenex. "Take it easy, Lena. You're safe here." She gestured to a cup with a straw. "Want a few drops of water? Can't have too much but it'll at least eliminate the dry mouth."

"Alex..." the urge to confess simmered, but the words clogged her throat and came out as a strangled sob. She wanted to curl up in a fetal position and cease existing. She should have died. Why couldn't Kara let her die? She'd lost everything.

"I don't deserve this..."

"Nonsense." Alex smoothed back Lena's hair. "You deserve it more than anyone." Her smile held a hint of melancholy. "And I'm sorry I wasn't as supportive of you and Kara. No matter what happens, we're here for you, Lena. And I want to make up for my mistakes to you."

"Don't!" The word erupted in a coughing fit. "Please, don't. Alex, I hurt Kara. Don't you see? I'm not good." Her tears burned with shame. Her thoughts fixated on the Kryptonite cage, the pain of seeing Kara in it, the urge to free her, how it'd taken all her willpower to walk through that portal. How she'd collapsed into tears on the other side. She loved Kara, and yet still hurt her? What kind of monster did that?

God, she loved Kara. She loved her so much it hurt. Now she was broken on bed, trapped with the knowledge she was capable of hurting Kara. "You shouldn't have saved me."

Alex frowned. "Lena, we all make shitty mistakes. I fuck up and hurt Kara sometimes, and we talk it out and fix it. You doing it doesn't mean you deserve death."

"Shitty? Shitty doesn't cover this." She felt loopy and out of control. Her emotions bubbled and frothed, her head spun, and the pain crawled through her spine. "I killed my brother for her. And... and he showed me she was Supergirl. I didn't know what to do. So I went to all of you, and you were celebrating and playing games." The pain with each breath, each word spoken ripped through her. But she had to get it out. She had to make sure Alex knew she was not worth this care.

"Lena..."

"No! Let me finish!" She tried to push herself upright, but her arm wouldn't handle her weight. She collapsed onto her side, wheezing. "Was I just the Luthor on a leash? No more a friend than a cat with a rat? I wanted Kara to feel my pain. I deceived her, used her, and I do not deserve this care--"

"Lena," Alex interrupted, sternly. "Lena, listen to me. You are hurting yourself with this." She gently pushed her back against the mattress and readjusted the blankets. "I am a trained doctor, and one thing I know, that it doesn't matter what a person did. If they come to me needing medical assistance, I give it. Want to know the best thing you can do right now?"

Lena sucked in a breath, still trembling from the pain and exertion.

"Rest. I mean it, you've been through hell. Your heart stopped during surgery, okay?" Alex's voice shook with an emotion Lena couldn't decipher. "I had to call J'onn in to hold Kara back from doing something very stupid. We almost lost you." She breathed in sharply. "Now is not the time for confessions and blame games. As your doctor, I order you to rest."

She picked up the cup and held it out. Reluctantly, Lena took a few short sips. Her head fell back against the pillow in exhaustion. She closed her eyes, but all she saw was the Kryptonite cage.

***

She woke next to voices whispering by her bed. One she recognized as Kara and the other took her a few seconds. Nia? She hadn't interacted with the girl much. She kept her eyes shut, the pain too much to handle speech.

She wished they'd go away. Leave her to mope in pieces.

"Kara, you need rest too. Lena will be okay. She's under Alex's supervision."

"I'm not leaving her side. I can't." Kara's voice sounded uncharacteristically wild. "She died, Nia, she died for almost twenty seconds. No, I have to make sure she's okay."

"I get that, okay? It scared all of us too. We can take shifts or something. Make sure someone is always at her bedside." Nia shuffled further from her bed. "Didn't you say we were stronger together? El Mayarah?"

Kara breathed in sharply. "Using my family motto against me?"

"Hey, just using my full arsenal here. Like you taught me." Nia paused and sighed. "I didn't want to say this, but Andrea has been on me today about our articles. The only reason we even have this extension is because it's Lena in the hospital. Don't make the situation worse."

"Maybe I'll just quit."

"And never be a reporter again?"

"Lena is more important."

"Oh my god, Alex wasn't kidding. You're like a steel mountain. Not budging. Do you think Lena would want you to just throw away everything you've worked for?"

"Lena is more important than anything."

"Even your life?"

"Yes."

"Jesus, Kara."

"No!" Lena winced at he pain from her outburst. Both Nia and Kara turned to her. "No, god no, I'm not more important than your life."

Pain arced down her back, and she blinked back tears, but still they crept free anyway.

"Yes you are!" Kara shot back. "I'm nothing without you, Lena! I just can't. I can't lose you again."

Lena growled deep in her throat, and gathered up every once of energy she had. If she had to walk out of here to prove her point, then fine.

Except, no matter how hard she tried, her legs refused to respond. In fact, she felt only a vague tingling, more in the thighs and not anything below.

She pushed herself upright, which sent pain shooting down her back. Her hands gripped her legs. They were definitely there, but she couldn't get them to move.

"Lena! You shouldn't be moving yet!" Kara said, frantically. "Please, rest." She moved to push her hand against Lena's shoulder.

In response, Lena pushed back, but that succeeded in collapsing into Kara's arms. "Kara," she growls, "if you don't go out there and do your job, I will verbally berate and flay you alive."

"Um, Andrea already does that," Nia said.

"She's too soft," Lena grumbled.

"That sounds a bit like you're telling on yourself," Nia said. When Lena shot her a glare, Nia took a step back. "And I'll just be getting Alex, bye!"

The door swung shut behind her.

Kara gently laid Lena back in the bed, and to her dismay, she didn't have the strength to protest. "I'm going to stay here until you're better."

Lena wanted to yell at Kara. To get her to stop whatever this was. But the pain crackled through Lena's body, and she couldn't think coherently. Instead, to her horror, she wept, her only intelligible words, "I can't, I can't, I just can't."

Kara tenderly held her through it, her hand smoothing back her hair. She didn't say anything, just stayed there, until Lena, exhausted, tumbled back into blessed unconsciousness.

***

Time held no meaning. Depending on the culture, it either flowed like a river in one direction, or it flowed in a circle. Even cosmology couldn't decide if the universe was cyclic -- a big bang, expansive era, then the big crunch -- or ever expanded in all directions endlessly.

Lena felt trapped at the center of some sort of timeless hell. The pain left her short-tempered, and the fact Kara refused to give up on her also grated on her.

"Why can't you see the truth?" Lena shouted at one point. "My body is broken, Kara! I'd rather be dead!"

Kara had stared at her, but then she clenched her fists. "Don't you dare speak ill about yourself." Her voice dropped to a dangerous low tone that did more for Lena's libido than it did to intimidate. "You are beautiful. Gorgeous. And you're hurt and healing. You deserve life, and I will always fight to save you."

Lena didn't know what to say in response.

Because Kara had an alarming point.

She had fought to save Lena over and over again. No matter what her family threw at them, no matter how many assassin's sought her death, no matter the attacks on her person, Kara had been there. Or she'd send Supergirl, which had actually been Kara.

"Was it really you flying me when I was poisoned?" She asked instead. Her voice came out weak, irritatingly timid.

"Yeah. Yeah, it was. I -- I was terrified. Had to use ice breath on you to induce hypothermia to give Alex's medicine time to work." Kara slumped in her chair. "I almost told you then when you said you remembered the flight."

"Why didn't you?"

"James was shaking his head ..."

"I didn't ask about James, Kara. I asked about you. Or do you not make decisions for yourself?" Irritation crept into her voice.

"That's the problem, Lena! Don't you get it?" Kara threw her hands in the air. "I didn't trust myself, all right? So yes, I did rely on others to make decisions, especially about the whole Supergirl identity. I can't afford to mess up. I can't afford to lose anyone else. I just can't."

Lena struggled to parse Kara's words. The pain ricocheted up like it always did before Alex or a nurse came and swapped IV bags for new ones. "What do you mean you didn't trust yourself?"

"Do you know what happened before you came to National City? The attack by my people? That was my Aunt." Kara said bitterly. "My Aunt and her husband wanted to -- Rao, it doesn't matter. I trusted her, and I was wrong. People got hurt. So many died. Alex had to kill my own Aunt because I couldn't do it. Nothing stopped her and Non. And then, and then..."

She shot to her feet and began to pace. "You're not the only one who can make kryptonite, okay? Max Lord did it first but he made red."

"Red? What does--"

"It was horrible. I -- I got infected and it shut off my inhibitions, it made every bad thought, every intrusive nightmare, come to life. I acted it all out, and people got hurt. I almost killed Cat Grant. Alex and J'onn used every Kryptonite they had to capture me."

Lena blinked. She didn't remember reading that in the papers, but then she'd been very distracted by shit in Metropolis at the time. "Were you in control?"

"I don't know." Kara dropped back into her chair and put her head in her hands. "It haunts me to this day. I hear the word synthesized Kryptonite and I start to have flashbacks. I can't let that happen again."

"That's why you acted that way during the worldkillers crisis." Lena didn't ask it as a question.

Kara's shoulders slumped. "I had to be in control. That way no one could get hurt. No one would die. And that was out of my control. But I was trapped back in the Red-K nightmare, and I didn't realize it at first. I -- i was wrong. I shouldn't have acted out my trauma on you. I'm sorry for that too. It hit home how bad I fucked up in the elevator when we were on our way to comfort Sam."

No wonder Kara had looked so upset when she said she'd never trust Supergirl again. She sighed and rubbed her fingers against the IV line. "I tend toward dramatics and can be terribly petty," she said finally. "You tried to talk to me as Supergirl to fix it, and I refused to listen. So as Sam likes to remind me, two wrongs don't fix anything. I'm sorry too."

Kara tentatively touched Lena's hand. "Thank you for this conversation. How are you feeling? Are you in pain again?"

"Alex mentioned internal bleeding once and you're hovering again?" Lena grumbled.

Kara winced. "I just want you to be well."

Lena sighed. "I know, Kara. And yes, I'm in pain. How about you get your sister, and read more of your book out loud?"

She wasn't sure what started that activity, but listening to Kara read soothed her far more than she'd like to admit.

"Okay." Kara shot to her feet. A breeze whipped Lena's hair into her face, Kara vanishing.

Still not used to it, but she was getting closer at least.

***

Two weeks and four days after she woke in Alex's medical ward, Lena was examined by Alex and a Doctor Starr. Part of that exam required her to sit in a wheelchair, which hurt far more than Lena wanted to admit.

Alex's checked her reflexes with her little hammer, while Starr listened to Lena's lungs.

It was irritating, but she was slowly accepting this was her reality now.

At least, the odd Kryptonian container had been used only once since she first saw it. She had a stress induced bout of hemolysis, which didn't surprise her. She knows she's prone to anemia. Kara's frantic reaction had Alex banning her from the room for two whole days.

It should have brought relief, but Lena missed Kara by day two.

As the doctors conferred, a startling thought hits Lena. "Alex, has Kara ever had a loved one in a condition as bad as mine?"

Alex turned and crossed her arms. "When I got sick from Pestilence, I'm told Kara was uncharacteristically erratic. But I was only sick a day or so. So I guess, no, not for this long."

"Hmmm." Lena turned the thought over in her head. "I think I know how to calm her down."

"Oh?" Alex had adopted a neutral tone since Lena's high-on-pain-meds confession. "And what wonderful idea does my patient have today?"

"Take me around wherever we are. Let her see me outside this room." She attempted a smile. "Yes, I'm in a pain, don't ask. Just let her see visible progress."

"I'd advise against..." Dr. Starr started to say but Alex held up her hand.

"No, she's right. Kara needs to see progress. And you are progressing, it's just not really that visible right now." Alex stepped closer and leaned over Lena. "But I need full honesty. Are you positive you want to do this?"

Lena nodded. "Yes. If it helps Kara, then yes."

"I'm not asking about Kara. Will this help you?"

Lena tilted her head puzzled. "I suggested it to aid Kara not myself?"

"Oh my god." Alex threw up her hands. "Do you see what I'm working with here?" She said to the other doctor. "They're both idiots."

Lena sniffed a trifle offended by that statement.

"I mean, yes, you have a pertinent point." Dr. Starr chuckled. "Maybe just indulge her?"

"Not you too. Go right the report." Alex flicked her wrist at the other doctor. "And you," she pointed to Lena. "Tell me immediately if your pain increases. Or else."

Lena knows an empty threat when she sees one. She gives a half-shrug. "Sure. Now shall we?" She waves her good arm toward the door.

Alex grumbled under her breath and pushed her through the door. A certain satisfaction warmed Lena's heart. She'd won against Alex, which was not an easy feat.

The hallways outside the medical room were all a dull grey. The austere architecture painted this place as the DEO. Ah, so that was why she was under Alex's care.

"Lena?! Alex!" Kara skidded to a halt near the door to the control room. Lena can hear the voices of agents and machinery beyond it. "Oh gosh, should... should you be up? Are you okay, Lena? Do you feel any pain? Oh Rao, Alex, what if she's in pain?"

"Kara..." Alex started to say, irritation in her voice, but Lena cut her off.

"Kara, listen to me." Lena held up her hand. "I suggested this. Needed some fresh air. I'm fine. Honest." Yes, her pain has increased a bit, but honestly, she needed out of the medical room.

Plus, this served a dual purpose of showing Alex that perhaps she could go home to rest and do outpatient or whatever happens next for recovery.

Kara wrapped her hands around Lena's, holding it gingerly like she's glass. "Are... are you sure?" She looked so pathetic, that Lena relented.

"Kara, darling," Lena said, gently, "If we're going to get through this, I need you to trust me. Can you do that?"

Kara nodded. "Anything."

"Then trust me when I say I'm okay. Don't assume what I need. Always ask. Can you do that for me?"

"Yeah. Yeah. I can do that." A hint of relief coated Kara's voice.

Lena realized an important fact about Kara that day. When dealing with a situation Kara couldn't control, Kara needed tasks to do. Even simple ones worked.

She tested this hypothesis the next three days. Her conclusions confirmed her hypothesis correct. Kara truly did a lot better with tasks.

If there was one thing Lena excelled at, it was crafting a list of tasks. Whether she got them all done in a day? That was another story.

On the fourth day, Alex stopped in for the usual check-up. "So, you've really figured my sister out, huh?"

Lena studied Alex carefully, uncertain if the question was in good faith or not. "I'm reconciling all parts of her in my head. I can't say that means I have her figured out."

"No, I mean, you solved it." Alex gestured to the building beyond the medical ward. "She has calmed down by a million percent. I no longer feel the need to kick her off the planet twenty times a day."

Lena couldn't help but chuckle at the image of Alex's boot knocking Kara into orbit. "That annoying, huh?"

"God, yes. I get it, I do. You really scared us. All of us. Even Andrea Rojas has been in my business. And now Sam demands to know when she can visit." Alex scribbled her vitals onto the chart by her bed. "So now Kara is dealing with them. Using your phrases too. 'Don't assume, ask Lena.' I can actually do my duties for once."

"About Andrea and Sam..." Lena leaned back in the bed, fatigued by the act of sitting up. Which was incredibly annoying, but fine, that was her life now. "It's been a few weeks. How are you handling those businesses? I only spoke with Jess once."

"I'm not giving your phone back yet," Alex scolded. "I can't trust you with it. You'll try to solve world hunger or something."

"I was merely answering my emails and..."

"Nope, no work. You can't heal if you're working." Alex capped the marker and stuck it to the board.

Lena rolled her eyes. "Alex, I am dying of boredom. Answering emails won't kill me."

"You weren't though. You were heads deep in programming, and then wondering why your pain was so bad, you couldn't move for a whole day." Alex shook her head. "Can't trust you. And I'd like to."

The way she said those last few words had a seriousness that contrasted her slightly playful, scolding tone from earlier.

"How do I build up that trust then?"

"Prove to me you're serious about this." Again that sense the conversation had a double meaning. Something more than just her health. "I need to see you acknowledge your limits."

Lena frowned. "This conversation isn't just about me, is it?"

Alex put her hands on her hips, oddly similar to Supergirl, except Alex held far more authority in the stance. "Perceptive. Yes. I asked Kara about your confession. It wasn't easy. She finally told me everything. You put her in Kryptonite, Lena."

Lena looked at her hands. "I know," she said, softly, "I remember. I had hoped it wouldn't come to that. It's why I programmed in the sun burst."

"Which is great that you did that, but Lena, can I trust you to never trap Kara in Kryptonite again?"

Lena clenched her fists. "Yes." She met Alex's gaze, resolutely. "I love Kara, Alex. I recognize I fucked up. I lashed out exactly how Lex wanted. Played into his hands again. So as a big fuck you to my brother, I'm going to stick by Kara's side, and do what I can to aid her."

Alex studied her silently for a long moment. "Okay."

Lena raised an eyebrow. "Just okay?"

"Yes, just okay. Geesh, want a rambling speech, ask my sister." Alex walked to the door but paused, her hand on the doorknob. She looked back at Lena. "You're good for her, Lena. Kara has never been as happy than when she's with you. Please don't fuck this up."

"I thought you didn't do rambling speeches?" Lena smirked at Alex's raised middle finger.

"Oh, before I forget, you feel up to start physical therapy?"

"Is this where I prove to you I will honor my limits?" Lena asked dryly.

"You could say that. So a yes?" When she nodded, Alex smiled. "Great."

After the door shut, Lena sat in the semi-darkness and wondered if she could trust Kara and Alex. Could she trust any of them?

She raised her blankets and looked at her legs. They tingled now, but moving them caused pain bursts at the base of her spine. She didn't trust Lilian to help her with this. She did trust Sam, but after ghosting her and not answering her calls for months?

She dropped the blanket and laid down. She needed to trust them, and that scared her far more than any promise to a prickly sister of a Superhero. Trust was not something she did well. It tended to backfire on her, and yet, what else could she do?

Trusting no one but an AI had gotten her exactly nowhere. Other than more heartbreak and stuck in the medical ward, disabled from waist down for who knew how long. She truly did want to get better, but was she hiding from the world by half-assing this recovery?

Kara didn't know the extent of her treachery, or how she'd used the DEO to test the mind-control she'd uncovered from the Martian. Yes, that test had helped Andrea, but it also showed that her programming had a troublesome flaw. One she never quite ironed out. Hope's calculations had been her last ditch effort.

It led her to the same question that had haunted her since she woke up here: why were they helping her? Only her own paranoia answered that question, which wasn't helpful.

She closed her eyes and let the darkness of pain pull her out to sea.

***

When she next opened her eyes, the light was muted even further.

A person snored softly in the chair next to her bed. She turned her head to see Kara slumped there in jeans and a purple button-down shirt. Her blond hair spilled in loose ringlets around her face, and a book perched in her lap.

It was the book she'd been reading out loud to Lena: Poseidon's Wake, a fascinating science fiction romp about aliens, human's hubris, what constituted sentience, and sentient elephants.

On the table just behind Kara's chair, a vase with flowers sat with a card in front of it. She picked it up, the paper rough against her skin. Inside and decorating every page was kind 'get well soon' words from Nia, Brainy, Kelly, and all of Kara's friends.

The people she'd deceived in her single-minded quest of revenge. Her stomach twisted with nausea. The card slipped from her fingers to fall onto her stomach. A small card sat taped to the vase, and that one just read, "From Sam and Ruby."

She sucked in a sharp breath and winced at the pain in her left side.

Kara flinched and sat upright, her eyes blinking sleepily. "Lena?" She focused on her bed and smiled in relief. "Hey, how are you feeling?"

The question bubbled out of her before she could stop herself. "Why is everyone helping me?"

"What do you mean?" Kara reached up to fiddle with her glasses, but she wasn't wearing them so the gesture became tucking hair behind her ear instead.

"I deceived all of you. I hurt you." Lena's voice turned bitter. "Alex said she wants to trust me. That I'm good for you. I knew Kryptonite hurt you and I did it anyway. Why don't they all hate me? Why am I here?"

Kara shrugged. "The cage dropped as soon as you left. Then came your lovely sun bomb thing. I saw the code you used. You programmed that. So that means you never meant to hurt me. And I think you needed to get that all out. I -- I'm sorry it took me so long to understand. So, don't worry, it's okay."

"Okay? Just okay?" Lena couldn't believe her ears. "Kara, I need you to be honest. Why am I your 'exception' to your rules? Why is Alex giving me the shovel talk? What are we to each other?"

Kara sighed. Her fingers drummed against her knee. She took a deep breath and seemed to come to a decision. "Because I love you. I didn't realize how much until our fight. Until I almost lost you." She briefly closes her eyes. "I nearly lost myself to rage. Dunked myself in the ocean to try to calm down. And I couldn't let you die without telling you my last secret."

"Last secret? I -- I know you consider us friends..." Lena had heard Kara say 'love you' before, but this moment felt charged in a way the others did not.

She smiled, sadly. "It's not friendship love. Lena, I love you. Everything about you. I want to be with you in whatever way you'll have me. And if you don't want me around? Say the word and I'll vanish. Well, maybe still save you when needed but only in a professional way I guess."

"Be with me?" God, she was being a parrot again, but the words from Kara's mouth felt unreal. "You love me? And yet deceived me for years?"

Kara slumped in her chair and pulled at a thread on the cuff of her sleeve. "I'm sorry, Lena. I really am."

"Yes, you've said that many times," Lena said. She sighed and picked at her blanket.

For a long moment, she struggled against an absurd urge to cry. Fatigue lined her body and soul, and truthfully? She didn't want to fight Kara or enact revenge any more. Her retaliation hadn't helped her feel better; she'd felt worse instead.

No, maybe she should try the harder road. Talking. God, what would Lillian think of her now? She was going to discuss her feelings instead of of manipulating the universe.

"Did you ever trust me?" Seemed a good place to start.

"Yeah!" Kara nodded. "In most things, and I wanted to trust you about Supergirl. I just." She leaned her head back with a growl of frustration. "At first the DEO pressured me to tell no one, especially you. But then it became about me wanting to be just Kara with you."

"The whole not trusting yourself come into play there?"

Kara nodded. "I let others convince me that not telling you was good. That if I told you, I'd be selfish and ruin a good thing for you."

"Wait, did someone actually advise that?" Lena wrinkled her nose. "Because that's shit advice."

Kara winced. "Mon-el did."

"I see. From now on if someone says lying to me is better for me and honesty is selfishness, just punch them for me, okay?"

Kara blinked at her before bursting into laughter. "Oh Rao, okay, sure, I can definitely do that."

"Great." She imagined Kara punching Mon-el, and it definitely brought more satisfaction than anything she did the past few months. "Do you trust yourself now?"

"I..." Kara hunched down in her chair. "I don't know." She breathed out roughly and a piece of ice formed on her knee. She flicked it to the floor. "When I -- I found you? I lost myself in rage. I killed Rama Khan and his allies. I don't really regret it, but... can I trust myself? Because if you're hurt, I -- I probably should be restrained."

Just as she suspected, guilt threaded through Kara's voice. Lena shifted to the good side, her pain ever present a minor ache from the pain meds. "Will it help to know I trust you?"

Her own words surprised herself. And yet, it was true.

She did trust Kara.

Kara looked up and smiled faintly. "It does actually. I wasn't sure you ever would again."

"Kara, even when I was angry and hurting, I still trusted you with my life. My heart?" She ran a hand through her hair. It needed washing again, which meant asking the evening nurse for help, something she dreaded. "That I couldn't trust you with. But!" She held up a finger to stop Kara's words. She shut her mouth. "I think I'm ready to try. I know this won't be easy. We're both headstrong, but when I'm working with you, I'm a better person. I'd like to find that again."

Kara smiled, tears shining in her eyes. "You feel like home to me. I feel I'm a better person with you too. Even if I'm a bit dramatic about injuries." She rubs her hands on her jeans. "I just, I don't know. I was so worried."

"I know." Lena reached out and touched her wrist. "You've never had someone you love taking this long to recover. A rather intense introduction to mortality, eh?"

"You died for twenty seconds, Lena," Kara whispered.

"Are you focused on that or on the fact I'm alive?"

Kara tilted her head and stared at Lena. "What do you mean?"

Lena waved her hand impatiently, then winced. Her side ached at the movement. "If you focus on that fact and not on the present moment of me, recovering, then you become trapped in the past. You can't move forward, can't plan, and your actions become only reactions. Never a conscious, informed act."

"Oh." Kara tapped her fingers against her leg. "You know, that's a good point. Death has made you wise."

Lena shrugged. "Maybe. I need the reminder myself sometimes."

For a moment, both listened to the drip of the IV.

"I didn't have these powers on Krypton," Kara said suddenly, "I was just a normal kid, well, as normal as the first thirteen year old inducted into the Science Guild could be." A slight smile tinged her lips, but it faded into melancholy.

"You were a scientist?" It surprised her a little.

Kara nodded. "Bred to be so."

"Wait, I'm sorry, bred?"

Kara smiled. "The birth matrix is how we reproduced. It was very rare to have a natural birth like Kal's parents. Usually parents like to edit the child's genes. I was modeled to be a scientist like most of the El family."

Lena hummed thoughtfully. "I'd love to hear more about Krypton, Kara. If you'd like to share." She definitely had questions, though she' wasn't sure how best to ask.

"Thank you." Kara reached out to grasp her hand. "No one has every really said that to me?"

"Seriously?" Lena frowned. "Then consider the offer standing. Whatever you wish to share, I will listen."

"And the same for you. I want to hear what you have to say. Your thoughts. Hopes, dreams, random ideas, anything."

Lena smiles, but one last question still haunts her. "One last question. You've said 'just Kara' a lot. You've always been just Kara to me. Did you think I'd treat you differently if I knew?"

Kara winced visibly. "Yeah? Everyone does. I mean, look at Winn as an example. I wasn't just Kara to him anymore, and he became obsessed with superhero stuff. James knew thanks to Kal. Nia treats me as her superhero mentor. It's just over and over people failed to see me. They saw the cape, and either wanted to be like the cape --"

"James," Lena murmured, thinking of his guardian stunts.

"Or helping the cape. I wasn't just Kara, and I could be that with you, and it felt so good. Like coming home. It's why I can't stay away. I want to make this right, Lena." She yanked the thread free of the cuff. "So, uh, that's why I'll help you with your Myriad plan if you want."

"What?" Lena stared at Kara. "You don't know what it is yet."

Kara shrugged. "So? It's you. I want to help you no matter what. If I have to hang up the cape and go undercover to do it, then fine."

None of Kara's words made any sense to Lena. Her head ached again, and a faint scent of peaches wafted from the pain meds. She tried not to think of her legs.

"The project is dead," Lena said, flatly. "You might as well take Myriad back. It won't happen any time soon. Especially not with this." She waves a hand weakly toward her legs. "I can't feel them yet."

Kara reached over and grasped Lena's hand. The warmth sent a shiver down Lena's spine. "Then I'll help you recover. Whatever you need."

"Kara..." Lena sighs. "What if I hurt you again?"

"I hurt you first," Kara said. She winced, "I mean, not to make a contest of it. But yeah, we hurt each other. So that's a thing we did. But here we are, both of us alive despite it all. And yeah, we might hurt one another again, but I think you're worth it. You're beautiful, Lena, outside and inside. That hasn't changed. I want to work on us if you're game."

Lena recalled her words at the Fortress, said in anguish, "You don't get to tell me who I am anymore." But that had been a lie. She'd wanted so bad for things to be real with Kara. To be loved by Kara. To not have it all snatched away.

She'd wanted to fix it all, but it had not occurred to her she could just talk it through with Kara.

For several long minutes, she quietly breathed and sorted her thoughts. The pain simmered annoyingly, but she wasn't ready to sleep again. Not yet.

"This isn't easy for me," Lena said, carefully. She winced at the pain along her side, but she wanted to get this out. "I wanted to fix the pain. To somehow stop others from hurting one another."

"With your project?"

Lena sighed. "It doesn't matter. Hope was lost and she's needed to run the calculations. And would it have stopped the pain? I don't know. I didn't have time for proper tests. It wasn't ready, but Leviathan kept accelerated my timeline."

"So you sought to end all pain?" Kara tiled her head. "Isn't that kind of... mind control?"

Nausea swirled in Lena's stomach. Those words reminded her of Lex's journals, of his experiments, of his experiments on her. God, Lex really had played her, hadn't he? He knew she'd read his journals, knew she'd turn on Kara for her lies. "It's for the best," she whispered, "that it failed. Lex manipulating me by driving a wedge between us." She fiddles with the strings on the blanket's edge. "He has a habit of snatching away all the good in my life. He tried to destroy what we had. Like a fool I fell for it."

"No, well, maybe for a little while. But we're still here, and we're being honest." She lifted Lena's hand and gently kissed her knuckles. "I understand you might not believe me now, but I'll prove it."

Lena sighed. She wasn't sure what to say to that. The medicine dulled her thoughts, drew back the pain, but now fatigue corded through her body. "You already are. And I want to work on us too." "So where do we go from here?" Kara asked.

Where did they go from here indeed? She knew this was a stupid idea, that she shouldn't allow it, but with the Fortress fight, the assassin, almost dying, surgery, long recovery, and now this?

Lena weakly tugged on Kara's hand. "Ask me later. Right now... can -- can you hold me? I don't want to be alone." Her words came out small and shaky. This asking for things scared her as much as it thrilled her.

"Of course." Kara graced her with one of her winning smiles. She gently moved Lena just enough for her to slip onto the bed next to her. Her arms wrapped around Lena, and warmth embraced Lena from head to toe.

She buried her face in Kara's shirt, and breathed in her vanilla scent.

The anger and pain that had fueled her for months no longer simmered in her gut. Part of her feared giving Kara another chance, but at the same time, her traitorous heart shouted in relief at being in Kara's arms. The hurt hadn't full gone away, but its edges had softened.

"You've always been her exception," Alex had said.

Maybe starting tonight Kara could be her exception. Instead of more revenge plots or running, she'd stay and work on whatever this was between them. No matter how hard it became. Maybe someday soon she can say the words out loud, that she truly did love Kara.

Because even in the fires of hardship and pain, a rock could still become a gemstone.

Epilogue incoming

[penkura]

Scared of Doctors anon again.

I now raise you: Law during his time at Punk Hazard finding y/n while they're still a subject.

Honestly I have too many thoughts about this. It's helping me wait for the dub to come out

Such good ideas though, omg. I'm thinking and more is coming to me for this, it's such a good prompt. There's so many ways it could go!

But for now...

Law had not intended to save you when he came to Punk Hazard. He had a plan, one that would hopefully bring down this Devil Fruit factory and help him get his revenge, it didn't include meeting and getting to know you little by little in the time he was there. You had run into Law by accident when trying to escape, making him curious about what was going on.

You look scared when you first run into him, having turned a corner abruptly and colliding with the young doctor, asking him for help.

"Please, help me get out of here!"

"What?"

There's a fear in your eyes he doesn't like seeing, while you grip his coat tightly and plead with Law to save you, somehow. He knew Caesar was conducting experiments, obviously with the SMILE fruit and everything, but he didn't know the extent, and now he's more curious seeing you.

You look perfectly fine and healthy, there doesn't seem to be a reason why you should be afraid of anything. Most of the people that Law has seen through the lab are willing participants, or they've been bribed by Caesar with something for him to use them. You don't seem to fit either bill, unless there's something hidden that even he can't see.

But his powers should tell him, right? The brief scan he does shows nothing is wrong, though he can see some kind of drugs in your system. He'd have to do his own testing to figure out what they are and what they're for, but you're interrupted by Monet a moment later.

"Oh, I see you've met our oldest patient, doctor."

Law's concerns grow when you immediately remove your hands from him, looking towards the ground with more fear than before. Monet explains you'd been sick with a highly deadly virus three years ago before she and Caesar took you in, away from your home and family, and have been working ever since to find a cure. He watches as you back away bit by bit, turning more into yourself and apologizing, before turning around and running back where you'd come from. When he asks Monet at the illness was, she beats around the bush and doesn't give a straight answer, Law knows something is wrong with this situation but he's not in a position to figure out what it is.

Not until the Straw Hats and the Navy show up anyway. The distractions provided by them allow him the time to find you again, though you still seem fearful of him. He holds his hands up where you can see them, making you tilt your head.

"I won't hurt you. I won't touch you at all. I can use my powers to see about your illness."

"...why bother? I'm gonna die anyway."

How strange, to hear words he'd said so long ago said to his own face, but in such a different situation. After Law explains how his Devil Fruit powers work, you consent to letting him do a proper Scan, and you're confused when he tells you there's no sign of any illnesses in your body. He still sees those drugs in your system, but he doesn't have the time to check what they are yet.

"We're going to destroy this place. You'll have to come with me if you want answers from Caesar."

You really don't know if you should trust him or not, he hasn't given you much of a reason not to apart from being a doctor, like Caesar and Monet had claimed to be. Your voice is shaky when you ask Law if he promises to find out what happened, and when he does, you're almost crying as you nod. Law lets you take his hand, once you've calmed down and agreed to go with him, he starts to lead you to a safer area.

"I won't let anything happen to you, all right? Not until we get you the answers you need."

For some reason, you decide to trust him.

[luke-hughes43]

surprise | luke and stella

this takes place like barely 2 months into them dating. and is really cute bc they are both still in that awkward phase.

~

stella's pov

so for columbus day weekend, i'm heading to michigan for a tournament and a visit with the softball program too. i was hoping to get to see luke but the timing of my games, his games, and then going to ann arbor, it just isn't working out.

but that's ok. i'm coming out for thanksgiving to see him anyways.

mom is coming with me to michigan and ellen offered to pick us up. i take a quick nap on the plane because as soon as we land, we're heading to the field.

it is borderline too cold for softball so i have my under layers on. i'm playing centerfield and in the leadoff position. we have a double header tonight and then a double header tomorrow. so lots of softball. and then sunday will be play until you lose and then i have my michigan visit on monday.

i'm hoping to be able to surprise luke at his game tomorrow night but we'll see how i feel. anyways, the game starts and it's going good. i'm getting good hits and making the plays in the field.

i get up in the 5th inning and bunt to get on. then i get the steal sign and take off for second base. i slide into the base and my cleat gets caught in the base and my knee twists. i hold my knee while staying on the base and the umpire calls time.

i still haven't gotten up yet and so my coach comes running out, "what's wrong? are you ok?"

"i twisted my knee when my foot touched the base. i think i'm good, i just need a second." i say and get up to my knees. i finally stand and just walk around a little bit. i do a little jog and tell my coach, "i'm good coach. hurts but i'm good."

"are you sure? i can sub you out so that you're good for the next game." he double checks. I nod, "i'm good."

he nods and goes back to the dugout and i get set at the base. the game goes on and we win the first game 4-2. my knee hurts the rest of the first game and all of the second game but i power through.

in between games, i'm icing my knee and both bella and avery (my bestest friends in the whole world) come over to me. bella asks, "are you ok stella?"

i nod and say, "yea. just hurts a little bit but i'll be ok."

avery says, "ok." and they just sit with me while i ice my knee and we gossip about everything going on at school before we have to get ready for the second game.

the second game goes fine, we win 2-1 but my knee kills. as soon as i get back to the dugout i take my cleats off and put ice on my knee. we had the last game of the night so i don't rush to get out. i lay on the ground with my knee propped up on the bench and ice my knee.

after i don't even know how much time passes, my mom comes in to the dugout and says, "hey honey. how's the knee?"

"it hurts but i'll be fine." i say with my eyes closed.

"ok. do you need anything from me?" she asks. i shake my head and then she continues, "ok. well honey, please hurry up. you have someone who wants to see you. and i think coach is waiting for you."

i nod and finally get up. i'm confused as to who would be here to see me but she does have a point that coach probably wants to talk with the whole team there. i put my sneakers on and grab my bag to head over to the team huddle. as i leave the dugout, i hear what sounds like my boyfriend say, "hey there superstar."

i turn and make eye contact with luke. he's here. oh my fucking god he's here. oh my god. i run over and hug him. he holds me tightly and kisses my head. i say against his chest, "i've missed you."

"i've missed you too stella."

we both pull away form the hug just enough to kiss each other. i smile into the kiss and hold him tight to me, not wanting to let go. i hear my coach yell, "zegras, let's go! kiss your boyfriend on your own time!" the girls giggle and so do i. i peck his lips and he says, "go. i'll wait right here for you."

i nod and hobble over to the team. the girls are giggling and bella elbows me. i smile and nod and listen to coach debrief the game. to be honest, i'm not actually listening. the only thing on my mind is luke luke luke.

i zone back just in time to hear coach dismiss us. i go straight back over to luke and into his arms again. not only because i've missed him so much but it's also cold as fuck. while holding me, luke asks, "how's your knee baby?"

"i'm fine. it hurts a little bit but i'll be ok. nothing i can't handle." i say into his chest. after like a minute, he asks, "are the two girls who are looking here every 30 seconds bella and avery?"

"yea." i respond quietly. i turn and wave them over. i say to luke, "and now you're about to meet them. bella is a guard dog and avery is really shy."

he nods and they come over. i say to them, "bella and avery, this is luke my boyfriend. luke, this is bella and avery. my best friends."

avery says quietly, "it's nice to meet you." luke smiles at her and bella says, "nice to meet you luke."

"you guys too. stella talks a lot about you guys. really good things." he says with a smile. avery smiles but bella's face remains the same, she's not impressed. she's very protective of me. she says, "so how do you expect to make long distance work luke? i know it's hard and i'll be the one picking up the pieces if you break her heart."

"i don't plan on breaking her heart. i know it's hard but we text almost everyday, we call twice a week. and have some trips planned to see each other. i promise bella, i really like her and i really wanna make this work with her. whatever it takes."

"good. because i have a bat and i will fly to michigan to hit you with it if you break her heart." bella threatens. i giggle and luke nods, "understood. plus, her brother is best friends with mine. if i break her heart, trevor knows where i live and will kill me."

"fair enough. you're acceptable." bella says and winks at me. luke smiles and holds me tight. my mom walks over and says, "hey honey. i'm gonna meet up with ellen and catch up. you're welcome to come but i imagine that you wanna stay with luke. he's welcome to come to the hotel tonight but he can't stay over. i'll text you when i'm on my way back. do you guys need a ride?"

luke shakes his head, "no thanks mrs. zegras. i drove here so i can take her back, it's not a problem." she smiles and heads off. luke tights his arm that's around me and i say, "i think we should go soon because it's cold and my knee hurts."

luke smiles, "we will stel. bella, avery, it was great meeting you guys and i hope to get to see you guys again. i'm gonna get her back to the hotel to rest and i might see you tomorrow but i don't know yet."

they both nod and we walk off to luke's car. he opens the door and helps me in like a gentleman. he starts the car and hands me the aux cord. i start playing music and he makes the short drive to the hotel.

once we get there, we go up to the room and i all but collapse on my bed for the night. luke laughs, "comfy?"

"yes. but i need to shower and i want cuddles." i say into the pillow. he chuckles, "go shower. then we can cuddle and you can ice your knee."

i nod and take a quick shower. i quickly change and immediately get into bed with luke. he pulls me tight into him and i rest my head on his chest. i say in almost a whisper, "i wish we got to this more often."

"me too. i hate that our time is always so limited." he responds. he rubs my back softly and kisses my head. i wrap my arm around him and cuddle as close to him as i can. i say, "yea. but next year we'll be on the same campus and you'll be so much closer."

"i know. just have to get there." he says. i nod and we just lay together in the silence. i must've fallen asleep because i woke up the next morning to my alarm blaring and luke gone.

here's to another day of softball.

(thinking this deserves a part 2 no?)

[echo-stimmingrose]

“And where have you been?”

Will freezes, feet halfway in the door, eyes locked on his brothers in what only can be described as a deer in headlights look. The standoff lasts several seconds as Will debates whether to back out the way he came or get hit by the oncoming car. Like most deers when faced with a life or death situation, he remains put as his very brief time on this mortal plane flashes through his mind.

Illuminated under a singular lamp, like their about to perform an interrogation- dramatic fucks- is Micheal with quite possibly the most shit eating grin Will has ever seen; and Lee, who's expression alone tells him he's about the get the scolding of a life time.

“Helloooo, dear brothers!” Will cajoles, plastering on as bright a smile as humanly possible. “Don’t you two just look lovely this fine morning!”

“Where have you been?” Lee repeats, undeterred by Will's poor attempt at flattery.

“I was on a morning walk!” -not a complete lie- unfortunately, stupid Apollonian traits didn’t see it that way, his traitorous voice squeaking up several more octaves than necessary as he starts to cough. Thanks a lot dad.

Micheal only grins wider, “Nice try, we saw you leaving at eleven, Which means,” -He pauses to theatrically check his watch, despite the fact that he does not, and has never, owned a watch- “you’ve been gone a whole eight hours now!”

“You saw me leave? Wait- Have you two been sitting here all night waiting for me?”

“Not important-”

“What is important,” Lee cuts in, “Is what on Earth you could have been doing at such ungodly hours in the evening?”

“I wasn’t doing anything!” He insists with a whine high enough that all the dogs in New Jersey collectively howl.

“You we're out all night, William Andrew-” oof, Is the full name really necessary? “-No teenager who crawls out of a window, falling on his face as he does so, I might add-” Okay, rude. “-In the dead of night, is ever up to anything good”

He scolds him with a tone that could rival even his southern mama. Quite the impressive feat Will must admit (in his head of course, never out loud, Lee would like that too much). Truly he rues the day his older brother officially meets The Naomi Solace in person. Those forces are simply too powerful that if they joined it would throw off the balance of every ecosystem within a thirty mile radius. Two hawks sharing a territory while he is but a simple field mouse doomed forever under the gaze of the predators, with little places to run, always being caught. What crimes did he commit in a past life to deserve such a hellish tragedy?

Locked in another stalemate and desperate to escape the hole he's in, he takes the most logical option- not putting down the shovel of course- but scoffing at the pure audacity that they would be accusing him of the thing he very much did do.

“I am offended, at you implying that I of all people! Would be up to something heinous! I mean, ME!?!? I am a VERY good kid! I am very responsible! I am ALWAYS on time!!-”

“Can you even tell time?”

“I follow all the rules to a T!-”

“That's not even close to accurate”

“I am extremely respectful to my elders!-”

“Ha! That's funny.”

“I have never done anything against the law!-”

“Somehow I doubt that.”

The rest of the cabin starts to awaken to bear witness in what surely will be Will’s final days on this earth. None of them come to his aid of course, all finding the situation to be much to humorous. Even his patented puppy eyes fail at getting him any assistance in his battle with the all mighty tyrant that is Lee Fletcher.

He makes his way past his brothers and to his bed, doing his best to ignore them as they just swivel their chairs. Where the hell they even got those chairs he has no idea. He rips his flannel off, throwing it onto his bunk- he is nothing if not theatrical- and turns back around to continue arguing his case when the hushed snickers of his traitorous siblings increases to snorts and giggles. Micheal has all but fallen over in hysterics while Lee’s scowl has somehow deepened.

“What?”

“Rookie mistake, William,” Micheal says between guffaws, “Rookie mistake.”

He looks down to where his siblings are pointing and where should be, his neon camp shirt, is a black tee that reads ‘cabin thirteen’. “Shit.” he mumbles, cautiously looking up at his eldest brother who has a look so cross he could probably pass as a southern grandma who just got her finest china broken by roughhousing grandkids.

“I am going to have some words with that boy.” He announces, much to Will’s utter horror.

“Don’t you dare!”

“I will-”

“You are the actual worst!”

“That boy is a bad influence-”

“I hate you so much.”

“I think I will contact his sister too.”

“What the fu-.”

“Language, William.”

“Oh fuck you!” he exclaims before his brain can catch up to stop him from shooting himself in the foot and most likely condemning him to a lifetime of stable duty.

“Thats its, you are grounded, Young Man-” The tyrant declares, officially shackling him.

“What! You can’t do that!” He argues, pointlessly fighting against the chains.

“I absolutely can.”

“No-!”

“I want you back in the cabin by seven thirty each night for the foreseeable future.”

“SEVEN THIRTY!?!?” Will screams, “The campfire’s not even done by seven thirty!!!” He argues, flailing his arms as if that will help get his point across.

Lee nods, “Seven thirty.”

“I am not a child I don’t need a curfew!!”

“You are a child.”

“Are not! I’m fourteen!”

“A child.”

“UGHhhhhhhh!” He screeches, miming a crushing motion with his hands, hoping to explode Lee’s head via the force. It, unfortunately does not work.

He then decides to stand up and announce that it is breakfast time before casually leading the rest of the apollo campers out of the cabin as if he didn’t just ruin a poor innocent teens life.

“Well that was amusing,” Says his annoying younger sister, hanging back from the group, reveling way to much in his suffering.

“Shut up Kayla.”

She just grins, looking far to similar to Micheal for his liking. “I just can’t wait till he finds out about your tattoo.”

“Oh gods.”

---------------------------------------

So this is part of an au/verse I'm working on where basically everyone lives and they all get to be normal teens with semi normal teen problems. (It will probably end up being mostly cabin seven based cause they're my fav) It's not gonna be written in a specific order or anything probably just a bunch of one shots of things I think of. Let me know what you think and if you have any suggestions of prompts/story lines for this verse lmk.

Also Lee is supportive of Will and Nico's relationship he's just being an annoying older brother cause he can.

[tremendouscreationperson]

Logan x Reader pt. 15

The rest of what I wanted to put in 14

Also I'm so sorry for the delay, genuinely had the worst few weeks of my life 🤌🏻 thank you for not giving up on me

<<Part 14 Masterlist

Laying in bed next to Logan was bliss. Since accepting his proposal the two of you had amped up your love. If that was even possible.

If he wasn't whipped before he definitely was now. The boys lovingly teased him as he literally waited on you, hand and foot. He wanted you to be cared for, wanted you to feel loved, feel special. He wanted you to be the queen you were.

He even learned how to braid hair for you.

You were just drifting off to sleep when a yelp woke you.

Logan pushed you back down into the covers. “Stay here.”

“No!” You argued, jumping up and sprinting after him.

Jean was on the floor with a weird circular object on her forehead. You paused but didn't stop as she was breathing. You had to push on, had to find the intruder, to prevent the rest of the residents from danger.

As you legged it to keep up with your fiancé you passed more unconscious bodies - Remy, Darwin and Kitty to name a few - they each had the same disc attached to their foreheads but we're still breathing.

“Logan?!” You called out as you flew down the stairs.

He was out of your line of sight. He'd led you to the dining hall - you think - but what way had he gone? There were doors on each wall, what one had he run through? Had he even come through here?

You were too exposed standing in the centre of the hall in nothing but a nightie. Was this the right move? Should you have stopped and helped the others? Who was here? Who was infiltrating the Mansion this time? Mutant or human?

That line of thought had you wondering: what if the discs were lethal? What if you'd sealed their fate by trying to prevent others? What if the discs were draining their life force? FUCK!!

As your mind spun you backed up against the far wall. You needed to keep a level head so the wall was an attempt to ground yourself but it wasn't exactly easing your anxieties.

You formed flat fields which sat by your fists - Magneto had been right to tell you to try and form different shapes - in an offence manoeuvre. Keeping silent to hear or see anything. To get any sort of clue as to who or what had broken in.

Heavy footsteps echoed beyond the door to your left and suddenly it was blown off of its hinges.

She sauntered into the hall, and for having just booted the wood she didn't seem winded.

The girl was young. She had dark hair and an angry expression, wearing jeans and a leather jacket.

“Hello?” You had never seen her before. Usually if someone was invading the Mansion you had a vague idea. The humans usually wore the same uniform and any other mutant that came knocking usually had some sort of gimmick or name correlating to their power.

She answered with a snarl, launching forward.

You blocked her attack and were in shock.

She had claws! SHE HAD TWO CLAWS LIKE LOGAN!

Was… was this like Magneto? Did he have a child?

You couldn't blame the man for having a past but you were convinced your Logan would've told you.

The girl was angry. She didn't like that you blocked her attack. She jumped straight back in punching and kicking - KICKING WITH A FOOT CLAW!?!? - at your fields. Each attack you countered and pushed her off.

“Who are you?” You yelled over her grunts.

She managed to slip two claws through a field - barely missing your exposed thigh - but you held them in place. “What they made me.”

“Who made you?” You cried out, shoving her backwards and into the mahogany table.

She crouched on the table reminiscent of Kurt. “Alkali.” You had no idea who Alkali were. Wracking your brain, you only knew HYDRA, SWORD, AIM.. no Alkali.

She had stayed still on the table so you raised your palms in a surrender, fields away. “Why are you here?”

“He is to blame. They did this to me because of him!”

The girl leaped from the table and over you. You produced another field inches above your head and caught the circle she had tried to place.

“What is this? What have you done to my friends?” You wrapped a field around it and brought it close to your eyes. It had a red flashing light and tiny pincers.

“They're just asleep.” She growled. “Like you should be!”

The girl tried to kick your feet but you jumped back. As you landed, your ankle rolled and you lost your footing. You stumbled and landed on your butt encapsulated yourself in a field.

The girl stood over you, her arms folded and wearing a taunting smile. Fuck, she looked like him. He was definitely her father. 100%

“Hey!” Logan yelled behind you.

The girl snarled upwards and circled your sorry ass, heading forwards. She revealed her claws.

“X.” She spoke.

“Names Logan.” His claws unsheathed. “Now who the fuck are you?”

As if?!

Could he not put two and two together?

“They made me because of you!” She snarled but from your angle you could see tears forming. Her anger was still present but there was also sadness, a hopelessness.

“Who made you?” His eyes watched her stalk around the room, she kicked a chair out of her way, her eyes never leaving him.

“Sutter, Kinney, Rice.” She spat the names. The names didn't ring any bells with you and you could see they didn't with Logan. “But you gave the order.”

His brows twitched in puzzlement. “I would never! It almost killed me.”

“You're gonna wish it killed me!” She jumped upwards and crashed into him.

~~

Laura was no longer a volatile gremlin.

Well... she was still quick to anger and she was still just as gremlinesque as Logan.

But now she knew you were no longer a threat.

She was slowly - immensely slow - integrating into the X-Mansion.

A team of Kurt, Jean and Kitty broke into the Alkali facility. The cooperation was under the Umbrella of HYDRA, meaning it was just as sinister.

They had returned with horrid news.

Laura had been created merely as an experiment and was essentially cloned from a scrap of DNA they stole.

The implications of HYDRA cloning was terrifying. They were creating and cloning weapons of mass destruction.

You read the stolen file as the X-Men discussed above your head.

‘Laura Kinney’.

She had mentioned the name Kinney.

Her mother was a scientist and had donated her eggs to create this weapon. She had been created in a lab to replicate the Weapon X process.

Her handlers had tried to integrate her into society to act as a sleeper but she didn't cope well around humans. In response to that they isolated her for years, only bringing her out for training, experimenting with her healing factor and finally her Adamantium transfusion.

“She can't stay here.” Scott sighed, he didn't mean to sound as harsh as he did. “I want to help her but the students are terrified.”

“She hasn't been around people.” You supplied. “They isolated her from age eight to fifteen.”

Charles was silent, scanning your mind for the information it held.

“She's my responsibility.” Logan was standing in the corner, arms folded. If you didn't know better you'd say his power was weather manipulation with the rain cloud that had followed him these past weeks.

The two of you had spoken about the potential of him having offspring. He had told you there were two possibilities, one being from his time in Japan and the other Iraq.

He had apologised but it was none of your business really. You couldn't have kids anyway. Why would you be upset that he had them?

Okay maybe it was a little strange.

His immortality kept slipping from your mind only to be thrust right back in your face when you least suspected it.

Would his children be like Laura?

Would they be powerful?

Have claws?

“I'll look after her.” Logan told the group. “I'll need help but I want to take her in. Show her that she doesn't have to be a weapon.”

You saw the vulnerability he tried to keep at bay. He was so unsure of himself.

He'd never been a father.

Never accepted that role.

He was a leader, a teacher, an X-Man but never something as delicate as a father.

“We'll all help Logan.” You hoped to ease his turmoil.

The crease between his brows lifted and his frown disappeared. He could always rely on you. Ride or die.

Charles’ chair moved, pulling attention. “I'd like to speak to Logan and Y/N separately.”

The others gave pointed looks but did comply and soon enough the three of you were alone.

You were sitting on the small sofa he had in his office - it was really more of a miniature library/study - the file on the coffee table in front of you. Logan had taken four steps towards Charles’ desk but he was still standing at a distance. Charles had stopped next to his window, he turned to it and sighed. The weather had been drizzly, a grey sky stared back at him.

“She is haunted.” Charles informed. “She needs reliable, consistent help.”

You could do that.

Right?

You could be that for someone.

Logan huffed. “I'll give it all I got.”

“But that also may cause problems to arise.” Charles licked his lips. “Sometimes what happens is terrible and it's hard but the person trying to help makes it worse.”

You didn't understand.

Did she or didn't she need constant help?

“My paralysis didn't occur because of the bullet but because Erik took it out.” He gave an example. “Sometimes we need to take a step back and let what happened happen.”

You summarised. “So she needs consistency and reliable help but she needs us to step back?”

“She isn't used to caring individuals. She'll need time but I do think she'll come around.”

~~

Mario Kart and Sonic were your way of introducing Laura into the world.

It taught her how to take losing graciously, team work, social skills, practical problem solving…

And best of all.

It was fun.

She was having fun.

Acting like a normal kid.

You were Wario because for some reason you loved that short king and she chose Daisy. You'd tell everyone to join as the GameCube had four controllers. It was only a matter of time before you upgraded and splurged on the PlayStation.

Kurt and Jubilee were Laura's favourites. They played animatedly next to her and she observed the way they acted. Watched them so closely you could see her imitate their behaviours.

Scott slumped into the empty couch space next to you. “I'm playing the winner.”

Kurt smirked up at Scoot. “Can't vait to beat you, too.”

You rolled your eyes as much as possible without them leaving the screen. “As if.”

Jubilee sat on your other side, whilst Kurt and Laura were sprawled out on the floor, moving her body animatedly to turn where you had.

Scott watched the game turn into madness, you all bickering and yelping as shells and banana peels hit you.

Mario - Jubilee - won, with Daisy, King Boo - Kurt - and Wario close behind. Just at the last second you Blue Shelled King Boo and squeezed into third place.

Kurt was salty but admitted it was a clever move as he handed the controller to Scott.

Scott switched up his character to Donkey Kong and decided on the track.

You hated this track. Who in their right mind picks Rainbow Road?!

The fucker was good at Rainbow Road. You Jubilee and Laura were not so good, all crashing into everything and falling off the edges.

“Hey Scott.” You spoke casually compared to how chaotic you all were feeling. “Logan's thinking of having a Best Woman so you wanna be my Man of Honour?”

Donkey Kong flew off the side. “Did you-what?”

“I didn't say that to fuck with you but I'm glad it worked.” You nudged his elbow with your own.

“Yeah, I'll be your Man of Honour.” He dropped a giant banana peel in your path.

Later in the evening, as the two of you were in the Kitchen, Scott asked if it was real, if you actually wanted him to be your Man of Honour and you said yes.

Why wouldn't you?

He was your friend.

Logan was planning on asking Jean, so you felt solid in your choice. Scott was a dear friend to you and due to your proximity to Jean he had grown even closer now they were finally dating.

“I don't think we're having a big ceremony though.” You warned. “It may just be us four.”

“That's fine.” He sliced some Mango.

You watched him make a fruit salad, snagging some pieces for yourself, in silence. It was astonishing that you hadn't been interrupted. For once, everything was calm.

Just as you were praising being uninterrupted Logan entered the Kitchen.

“Finally, been looking everywhere.”

You gave him a smile. “My Man of Honour and I have been here a while.”

Logan's brows rose as he laughed. “You asked?”

“Yup, was destroying him at Mario Kart-”

“Hah.”

“-and thought I should probably ask.”

Logan's arm wrapped around your waist automatically and he nodded down at you. “Should probably ask Jean. You settled on a date yet?”

“No,” you scrunch your nose. “It's our wedding, you have to he-” The sentence was left unfinished as his fingers dug into your side tickling you.

"Just want you to be happy."

~~

Logan, Storm, Scott, Jean, Beast and Kurt were all off on a mission leaving you as the responsible adult.

Fuck that.

It was boring with them all off. Luckily Laura was there for you when she wasn't reading.

The girl had stormed through your book collection and was currently rereading 1984.

So you were feeling lonesome.

There were others at the Mansion: Colossus, Shadowcat, Jubilee, Rogue, Bobby, etc but they weren't immediate friends.

A knock at the doors pulled your attention - you were planning on rotting in bed, having come down for some popcorn and a glass of water.

Pulling the heavy front door open you found two people.

One was a mad dressed in all red, he had an assortment of weapons on his person, and the other was a child. She had tanned skin and dark hair, scars visible by her eyes.

“Hello?”

“Y/N! Hi. I'm Flashback Deadpool!” He shook your hand with such enthusiasm that your shoulder was moving. “And this little pumpkin is Gabby.”

“Hi Gabby.” You flashed the warmest smile you could. “Are you two rel-”

“No, Flashback Y/N. We aren't. Well, if we're going Mayaverse and not movieverse we came outta the same place. Gabby is a clone of Laura who's a clone of Logan who SPOILERS IS A CLONE OF HUGH JACKMAN!” Deadpool cackled to himself.

“Oh, okay.” You didn't know what to do. How did this man know your name? Why was he saying flashback? Against your better judgement you asked, “Would you like to come in?”

“Yeah sure,” Deadpool took a hold of Gabby's hand, “but I want to remind present Y/N that she's on the stairs.”

//

There was a group photo on the wall. It was professionally taken and each member looked pristine. Charles was sitting in his chair with Jean, Rogue and Storm on an expensive looking sofa; Scott was perched on the sofa’s arm beside Jean as Bobby, Colossus and Hank stood behind it. Jubilee and Kurt were kneeling at Storm's feet.

How proud they all looked.

There was a smaller photograph taped next to the large frame. It must've been taken seconds after the main one as each member had chaotic grins, laughing ridiculously.

They were a family.

They are a family.

It was eerie.

It had taken you ages to realise it.

But it was eerie.

It felt wrong. An unease settled into your bones.

You felt like the jigsaw was complete with your missing piece underneath the table.

The others wouldn't feel this way.

They hadn't lived here.

Gambit didn't remember a time before the Void and Laura barely had Logan and Charles.

You stepped away, passing portraits of lost mutants.

You'd never be there because you were never there.

You felt sick.

How could they not know you when they were such a big part of you?

They were YOUR FAMILY.

//

Landing in a Wasteland was not how you thought you'd spend the day.

What had happened? Did Kurt teleport you?

Where the fuck were you?

Rising from the sand you tried to make out anything - any landmarks - but the glare of the sun was too much.

Where was Logan? Laura? Gabby? Scott? Jean? Storm? Wade?!

Where were your friends?!

“Y/N?”

You spun to see Dazzler. She looked different. Older. Worn. Weak.

“Alison?”

“It's so good to see a familiar face!” Grinning ear to ear.

“Where are we? Egypt?” You had to bring your hand up to shield your eyes.

“N-” Her face dropped. “No, we're elsewhere.”

What did that mean?

She gave you a pitiful expression before shaking her head. “Go, run, head that way. They won't find you there.”

“Alison I don't understa-”

“Go!” Her eyes glittered and she turned her back on you. “I've given you a chance, take it. Run.”

Run?

What were you running from?

What were you running to?

Why were you running?

No one likes running!

But she clearly meant it.

You turned in the direction she had gestured to and began walking, hoping that she would snap out of it and follow you. Tell you where you were heading.

She didn't.

You found scraps of… well of everything. There were buildings, monuments, vehicles, clothes, shields, weapons - mainly faulty - bones, graves and most importantly more sand.

It was hot - it was so hot - you had to unzip your suit, tying the fabric around your waist. Sweat marks already stained the fabric of your vest.

Was this the right way?

You climbed to the peak of a sand mound - hill? dune? Whatever the word was, it was too hot to even try to think - and saw something moving.

Squinting your eyes impossibly small you believe it's a bike, the rider was maybe a man? Could be a strong woman.

Either way they were your help.

You jogged down the sand and waved your hands at them.

“Hey!”

The bike spun around and headed back towards you.

You waited, no use wasting energy when they were coming your way right?

Hopefully they spoke English. If not they still could tell you where you were.

As the bike approached you knew the rider.

“Victor?” You'd met him once. Logan had tried to keep him at bay, keep the two of you separate but you did cross paths.

“Why's a pretty lady like you asking?” His eyes scanned your body. He was wearing a black Stetson and a long leather - in this heat?! - coat.

“It's me.” That was helpful. “It's Y/N, we met briefly. I'm Logan's wife.”

He chuckled. “What one?”

Ouch.

Okay.

“Dude, you're my brother in law don't be an ass.”

He sneered.

“Fine," Your hands flew up. "You can be an ass but please tell me: where are we?”

Victor took the Stetson off and dusted it. “Limbo, Purgatory, neither here nor there.”

You wanted to sass him but something he said rang true. This place didn't feel real, it felt like a sort of limbo. In the scraps you had found vintage TVs and futuristic clothing. Neither here nor there.

“We're dead?” You don't remember dying. Would you remember dying? Could you remember it if you were dead?

More importantly you weren't overly religious so where were you?! Which God was the right choice? You had your money on the Greeks.

“Doesn't feel like death.” He held his hat, observing your inner ramblings.

“I wouldn't know.” He and his brother had died countless times so, out of the two of you, he was the most qualified.

“We’re alive, just in a pit. It's bottomless and hungry.”

“Stop being ominous.”

He shrugged with a smirk.

“So we're alive but in some sort of wasteland?”

“Yup.”

Right.

When were you going to wake up?

“Okay, well, how'd you feel about a team up?”

He scoffed a laugh but realised you were serious and his smile vanished. “You're dead weight.”

As if being family was going to get you through this. Don't be stupid.

“Where's Logan?”

“I ain't seen a Logan for years.”

“What do you ‘a Logan’?”

“People here come in doubles, triples. Different worlds crashing together.”

“Well, where's my Logan?” He was quiet. “Are you even my Victor? Have we even met?”

“No.” He replaced his hat before revving the engine. “But I got places to be.” You watched him leave and could have sworn his eyes flashed yellow.

\\

The woods were the same.

Fuck, we get it! Everything is the same!!!!

You walked through the familiar path to exit the grounds. You didn't even have to think about it, your body relying on muscle memory that you had thought was lost years ago.

Logan had brought you here, dragging your ass out of bed and into town. The first time he had done it, he had driven Scott's bike but he soon found he enjoyed the walk with you.

The night could last longer.

You could just be two people staggering home instead of X-Men or Mutants or Teachers.

The trips were more frequent once you had gotten used to the branches and roots.

Town was a good twenty minute walk once you were off it Xavier's land.

You knew you shouldn't be entertaining this idea.

You didn't belong in the mansion so what did you think you'd get out of this?

Maybe you should ask someone.

No.

They'd get it but they wouldn't.

Elektra would tell you to follow your heart, Logan would be against it in case you got upset, Wade wouldn't care unless you brought him a pastry.

Laura and Gambit were here, enjoying themselves and the others that you would have asked don't know enough about you to form an opinion.

Just looking at the building might help?

Seeing her inside of it.

You wanted a hug.

A tear slipped from your eye as you realised you really wanted a hug.

She gave the warmest hugs.

The last time you received one was when you were eighteen, that was the last time you returned home for the holidays as the next years you were looking after students.

Your mother didn't mind. She was doing a lot better without you.

Money stretched further and she had gotten a new job.

Your pocket buzzed but you couldn't bring yourself to look at it.

It would be Logan. He'd be asking if you were okay and you'd have to lie and say yeah because what he was doing was important. He needed to talk to Victor like you needed to see your mother.

You wouldn't tell her.

How could you?

‘hi, I'm the daughter you never had!’

But… you could try a tart?

You had walked off the estate and we're now on the road. There was a country lane which led into a small village type town. It was new looking but each building was old, the town had character. You loved seeing a job centre have ornate carved stone walls.

There it was.

It was pink, a pale pink. Ballerina satin.

There was dark wood panelling on the windows and sign, giving the whole shop a homely vibe.

An assortment of goodies were in the window and a man that you had seen on her Facebook was mopping the flour covered floor.

Do you go in?

Well, you can't realistically stay outside staring into the window. She'll think you're a freak!

You couldn't be a freak in her eyes in two universes.

The man looked up and gave you a bright smile through the glass before mouthing ‘we’re open’. You nodded and pushed the door. A tinny bell rang as you entered.

The interior was pale pink with hot pink and white accents. The counter was filled to the brim with goodies and a chalk board behind it had custom items you could order.

The smell is what really struck you. You recognised it. Your mother's chocolate chip cookies springing up in your mind. The first batches had been a disaster but once she got it down it was your favourite treat, the memory brought fresh tears to your eyes.

“You alright dear?” The old man asked, placing the broom against the wall.

“Yeah, sorry, just a bit lost.” You smoothed your shirt. “My-I lost my mum and this place reminds me of her.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, did she come here?” He questioned.

“No, well, maybe.” How did you answer this? Why had you even disclosed that? “It's the smell of cookies.”

“I’m here if you'd like to talk about her.” You shook your head so he clasped your shoulder. “Take your time.”

You nodded again forcing the tears to stay unshed.

“I’m F/N.”

Right.

Wow.

This… this was your father.

You didn't remember anything about him, your mom had told you that he used to be in your lives but circumstances caused him to leave. You always had the feeling despite what she said you were ‘circumstances’.

“Y/N.”

He grinned. “My favourite name!"

"Is it?" Your name wasn't anything special to you, it was a string of letters and sounds that people used to get your attention but hearing him say it was your favourite name...

"There was a book I used to love, it was fantasy. You would read page one and it would give you an option and when you made your decision you had to turn to page forty and so on. There was a mage called Y/N…” He trailed off in remembrance. “I always thought if we were blessed with a child, I'd pick the name Y/N.”

You played along. “We?”

“My dearest is in the back. M/N!” He hollered.

She waddled from the back room, apron stained, a tea towel in her hands. “Yes?”

“Come and meet Y/N.”

You observed the strain in her legs as she moved. She was a lot older but it was 2024 so she would be. Her face was wrinkled and her hair white. “Y/N? You're not talking about that Dungeons and Dragons book are you?”

“It isn't Dungeons and Dragons.”

“Close enough, sorry dear, I hope he isn't bothering you.”

You shook your head. “No, course not.”

“He tried to convince me to name our dog Y/N and it is a pretty name but the way he used to go on about this super magic hero made me feel left out. He was with her.”

You chuckled.

“No, you're the only woman for me.” He pecked her cheek.

“Only because she's fictional.”

“Exactly.” He nuzzled his nose against her cheek.

“So, what can we get you?” Your mom waved her hand to the display. “Anything here?”

“Oh, yeah. I'll take anything.”

Your father was sweet when he offered, “and cookies?”

“Please.” You plucked your card out. “I'll take everything, one - no - two of everything you have.”

The couple made a face but did begin bagging items.

“Are you going to be able to eat all these?” Your mom asked as packed three slices of pie.

“Yes, it won't be just me eating.”

“Oh, let me guess; are you one of Xavier's gifted?” She tied the box with a ribbon. “Wouldn't it be marvellous to have a power?”

That was fucking twisted.

Your mother being jealous of mutants?

It wasn't fair.

Why couldn't you have been born here?

~~

On the journey back you decided they were made for each other.

Your mom and dad were soulmates.

If only you weren't born, perhaps they could have been happy.

It was trippy seeing your mom but to meet your dad…

You couldnt handle it.

You were right here and they couldn't see you. They couldn't realise who you were. Your mom even hugged you after your dad told her you were mourning.

You had to take a moment to cry in the woods.

Sitting, tears falling freely, eating a tart was how Scott found you.

“Hey. You're Y/N right?”

You let out a dry laugh. “Do you know how insulting it is to hear your brother say that?” He pulled a face. “We were like siblings. The whole team. We were a family.”

Scott didn't know how to respond.

“It's not your fault obviously but it's fucking tiring. I've come home to find that it isn't mine and it can't be. I don't belong here. Hell, even my mom wouldn't name her dog after me.”

.

.

@killerwendigo @littlecrowtime @geeksareunique @lovelyvaderx @br3nt-12 @st1nkabutt @maximumchilddreamland @catiwinky @ravenmedows @electricreader @vulgarfuckinvirgo77 @bisasterbisexual @tzurue @narniansmagic @seamlessepiphany @4ria790 @caramelatae @mei-simp @slightlymediocree @h0n3y-l3m0n05

[tealvenetianmask]

Check out these visual parallels between Blitz and Loona during their fight in Spring Broken. Even early in season 1, the team behind this show wanted us to know that these two characters are very alike- and maybe that's part of why they fight so much but also why they work so well as a family.

I set out to write a much deeper meta about their father-daughter relationship, but I noticed this when I was looking for screenshots and just couldn't let it pass by.

Take this moment where the conflict between Loona and Blitz escalates way beyond the current situation ("Because I adopted you!" ". . . you're not my real dad!").

Their body language is the same when they're yelling at each other. Leaning forward, eyes glaring and strained with sharply angled brows, mouth wide open, teeth showing. A little feral and out of control. Giving the yelling their all, words as weapons and all of that . . . and you know, not in a way where they're wielding power. Unmistakably upset, frustrated, at a loss as to what to do.

And then when they turn away, we see them mirroring each other's body language in real time.

People have said it a lot, but these two are the same. They lash out, but they're not truly mean- they're hurt and afraid of getting even more hurt.

We're also shown here that despite all of this, Loona understands on some fundamental level that, even after they've fought and both behaved badly, Blitz will continue to be the dad she needs.

And I'll explore in a future post at some point how this understanding they have (partly because they're alike, and partly because Blitz is always showing Loona how much he cares) is very powerful in both of their lives.

But for now, enjoy a screenshot where, sure enough, Blitz comes through on "getting over it," and all is forgiven:

"fat fucking car in our fat fucking space"

<3 <3 <3

[goodobservationshirley]

For I, Míriel, daughter of Ar-Inziladûn, vow this. Númenor will return.

[iceeericeee]

I wonder how many tags i can add on to this

[veronicalodgefaghag]

goddddd The Impossible Planet/The Satan Pit….

Really what I'd consider a perfectly put together New Who two parter. The score with all that ancient mystical feeling strings to the aesthetics of this impossible space station at the edge of everything where it shouldn’t even be, clinging to this rock, the rust and grime of it, which goes hand in hand with the practical, worn, sweatiness of the costumes, to that brilliant cast of characters, giving the Doctor Ida (and Zach, the captain) (really fantastic type of Doctor Who one-off character, I mean the three that survive in the end are characters who have always stuck with me since I first watched it) to have these philosophical conversations with so that the monologuing stays mostly until the end*

“You came because it was there. Brilliant,” the passing of a whole galaxy into the black hole, “I won’t go mad, I promise” “How would you know?,” “the urge to fall,” the Doctor’s conversation with Ida as he’s lowered down, the rules one makes up for oneself, something about time as the Doctor’s faith: “I would’ve believed him if he said he came from outside the universe, but before the universe?”, and yes, “oh, she knows”

The Doctor feels so human in this episode, every species in the universe is put on such equal footing—with all the Doctor’s and the other characters’ listing of different races and religions and everything—in the face of these permeating, ancient, gigantic, impossible concepts: the devil and the black hole. Which just emphasizes the unease with which we receive the enslavement of the Ood and the way the characters speak about them (without anything else, this story is so special and important just for introducing the Ood in the first place)

* The end is where the episode falters a bit but how could it not after an hour and change of just about perfection? The Doctor and Rose return to being a bit obnoxious as is to be expected of season 2, but it’s really kept until the end. I’m a huge defender of the giant CGI satan, I love that the raw manifestation of the thing can’t even speak, is just this crude, gigantic beast; it’s some of the return to the Tenth Doctor’s goofiness in that last scene with him that I think doesn’t work. It makes sense though, this whole crisis of faith and then he, in a way, decides to reject or sort of ignore it in the end in favor of saving the day which is so Ten, but it throws off the tone that the entire story has maintained so well to that point. I find “if there’s one thing I believe in, it’s her” to be a slightly ludicrous line, but it can work if you take it to mean “humanity, my friends,” if you imagine that he would have said the same thing no matter if it was Rose or Donna or Bill or Sarah Jane etc. etc. etc. Yes, I do think I’m being a bit hypocritical, if this had been a Twelve and Clara story, that line would make me insane, but one’s entitled to one’s opinions. I love the way he just ends up stumbling into the TARDIS though, and the way that bit is shot, the TARDIS as this beacon of safety (especially right off of watching The Legend of Ruby Sunday! The TARDIS as the source of the danger in that episode was genuinely scary!). I don’t find it to be too easy or a silly way out, which is what I think I thought of it the first time I watched it years ago. The TARDIS always comes back, what did you want? What did you expect? The rest of the ending bothers me a bit in its triumphantness, I think mostly because of Murray Gold’s typically melodramatic scoring absolutely blasting over Rose and the Doctor reuniting. His scores are incredible half the time and way too much the other half. I did NOT remember the TARDIS being able to just pull the rocket out of the black hole, but as the end neared I was dreading that that was gonna happen. It’s too easy. I think I was getting it mixed up with some other episode’s resolution, but I think it should’ve been that the rocket can’t be saved, but the people can, that the TARDIS lands in the rocket for just long enough to get Rose and the two men out, and they get out of the black hole's orbit in the nick of time. It completely undermines the sense of horror and mysticism the black hole's presence has generated for the last 90 minutes which is what the episode really revolves around if the TARDIS can just pull them away, easy as that. (I really like black hole stories lol. Up there with this story on my all-time favorites list is World Enough and Time/The Doctor Falls. In terms of Doctor Who sci-fi concepts, it has a black hole, fucked up time stuff, and cybermen.)

But then it still sticks the landing!!! “My people practically invented them. Well, they did.”, the Doctor’s evasiveness about what he saw in the pit, what its meaning is to him, the soberness of the final lines being the listing of the deceased “with honors.” As I was watching the episodes today, I said to my dad that I thought I could watch this story every day for a week. I think it's flawed enough that it would wear on me (and tv episodes aren't made to be watched every day for a week lol), but all of its flaws just completely pale in comparison to all the things it does absolutely perfectly. Insane that this episode comes right between The Idiot's Lantern and Love and Monsters lmao.

[savage-rhi]

Every time I hear politicians and rich folk complain about fertility and the population, all I hear is that the wolves are complaining that the sheep aren't breeding.

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

That's so weird because my reaction to S4 finale is it was the moment that convinced me Buddie was going to be endgame. Now two seasons later and we could be heading back to that same ending for the season depending on the events of the finale leaves me doubting things ngl. The only things I'm clinging on to are the couch theory, Eddie saying that relationships with people you meet at a rescue never works, and the fact that we're being introduced to these women so late in the season. It just seems like the writers even know they're giving this the most superficial things so that they can fix what they did in early S7.

To put it bluntly it just sucks that you know if this was gonna be the final 2 episodes that instead of going towards a story they've been telling since S2 they decide to put Buck and Eddie with women we don't even know their last name or anything about them. But they got renewed and will be moving to ABC so they can do the story they wanted to tell and I imagine these women will be kicked to the curb early in S7.

Okay, I'm gonna be real honest with you. I've seen that you've sent asks to a few of my friends, all generally saying the same thing. So to see you send me this ask makes me feel like you don't really want to have a discussion and aren't looking for actual support or positivity, you just want to keep being upset and tell people until someone agrees with you and tells you that your opinion that the writers made a shitty choice etc is valid.

So, to repeat a few things my friends have said:

They have not been doing Buddie since season two. I don't know why people persist on claiming this. Buddie was never the original plan. They did not decide to have Eddie get with Buck in season two. In fact in season two they seemed kinda unsure what to do with Eddie since he wouldn't be with Maddie any longer, but they still wanted the character, and Ryan, on the show. For my money, they started exploring the possibility of Buddie and discussing it seriously in season three, and season four was when they locked that in.

Now, I don't know about you, since you're a stranger on the internet, but to me, as a writer, it is a much, much better choice for them to have taken the risk rather than cram Buddie together, for a few reasons.

One: They cannot walk it back once Buddie is together. You're telling me you wanted them to sacrifice their story's integrity to give us a rushed unsatisfying get-together? Get out of my house. Watching television is, inherently, a gamble because it means you might get your stories unfulfilled. If you can't take that risk, then leave the casino. I am willing to risk it because I want a truly satisfying get-together, not something that was rushed and therefore isn't worthy of the delicious slow burn they're building.

Two: How many times do I have to scream at everyone to consider the behind the scenes issues before people start actually listening to me? Oh, forever? Because everyone is operating in bad faith and nobody wants to actually listen? Good to know. This will be the last I say on the matter.

We do not know what behind the scenes was going on in addition to the cancellation. What if certain Fox executives weren't supportive of Buddie? You're telling me that the writers and cast and crew should have, right when they'll need new jobs, guaranteed that their last employers will talk shit about them for disobeying orders and putting two characters together that they were told not to put together?

This is purely conjecture on my part, but I have seen time after time in fandom certain cast members and certain crew members and certain writers want a ship to become canon, and others not, and I have seen the way that back and forth played out, and guess fucking what? NOBODY WANTS TO LOSE THEIR FUCKING JOB. NOBODY WANTS TO BE PREVENTED FROM HAVING ANOTHER JOB.

Now, again, that's pure conjecture, but Fox really hasn't treated OG well for a while in terms of renewal, marketing, etc. And I have never, EVER, seen a show snapped up by another network so quickly. It's always "we got cancelled!" and then a few days or weeks later it's "we were saved by another network!" ABC was ON it. This gives me hope for a lot of things, like perhaps a 22 episode season. But given Fox's lack of promotion and appreciation for OG, it wouldn't surprise me if the cast and crew wanted Buddie and some people in the network didn't, and that is why we've been delayed on Buddie going canon. And while YOU may cry viva la revolution, it's much easier to have your principles when you've got a belly full, and while it may suck creatively there is no reason to piss off your bosses right when you need them to write you a recommendation for a new job because your show got cancelled - and while I'm sure they were hopeful, given the cast's social media I do not think anyone knew until it was publicly announced that they had, indeed, been saved and gotten another season.

My point is, this is just one theory I'm pulling out of a hat like a rabbit. We do not know what other BTS stuff is going on that made them choose to delay Buddie until season seven.

Three: To go back to point one, I do not think you've seen the reactions when a ship goes canon poorly. I was there, Gandalf. I was there the day that Booth and Bones got together. I was in the trenches. It soured SO many people, including me, on the show. To quote MBMBAM: YOU DIDN'T STICK THE LANDING! YOU JUST FLIPPED IN THE AIR FOR TWENTY MINUTES!!!

Sticking the landing when getting a ship together is possibly the most important moment in the couple's story. You cannot fuck up that landing. The writers chose to take the chance on it never happening in order to stick the landing the way they wanted. If that pisses you off, FINE. But stop coming into our inboxes to say the same thing over and over again about it, because we do not agree and we are never going to agree. We are at an impasse.

Now, to move onto some other points, WHY IS EVERYONE CONVINCED THAT EDDIE WILL STILL BE WITH SOMEONE WHEN THE SEASON ENDS!? WHEN DID WE DECIDE THIS!? He could be! But holy shit he could just go on one date with her that fizzles out! We have no clue! If someone in this fandom can see into the future and knows for sure this is going to happen then give me the winning lotto numbers right this second!!! Give them to me!!!! I need to fund my world domination campaign!!!

And finally, I feel like you've answered your own concerns, here. Given that you have sent similar asks to my friends, I don't think you're actually interested in allaying those concerns, because you keep answering your own questions and repeating yourself ad naseum. I could be wrong. Again, I don't know you. But this sure seems to be the case given that you're saying to me similar stuff you've said to my friends in asks they've already answered.

But to look at your own ask, you just said why we shouldn't be worried. "It seems like the writers even know..." YES. YES, THEY DO KNOW. I would love to know who the hell decided that television shows are made by the Television Fairy who creeps into the studio at night and waves her magic wand to create all the good stuff we see on our screens while the writers sit around with their thumbs up their asses.

Let's imagine you are a showrunner and you are going into the second half of your season, and you learn that it is extremely likely this season is actually your last. You guys start negotiating quietly with other networks to move the show, while hoping against hope this is not, indeed, the end. But this means you now have, what, nine episodes? To put all your characters in a place that is, if not ideal, at least somewhat positive for your audience?

You can't start any too-major arcs. You can't end on too bad of an emotional cliffhanger. This means some things will wrap up faster. Other things will get pushed forward. And some things have to be delayed, because they might never happen, and you can't give people a third or a half of an arc. Which means that you're going to be throwing in some filler for those characters instead, and doing things differently than how you might have wanted.

I do not know how many times I have to explain this, but television is not fanfiction. When I sit down to write a fic, there's not a damn person in the world who can tell me what to do. I write the story that I want, and if someone doesn't like it, they can hit the bricks.

Television is not like that. Television is one of the biggest group projects there is. Picture the worst group project you had to do in school and then times it by ten. Welcome to the television and film industry. The fact that any film or show, even the truly awful ones, gets made is nothing short of a miracle given all the people involved and all the ways the ball can be dropped. As a show runner, you are answering to multiple executives, to the creators, to the executive producers, to your own writers' room, and to the fans. You are trying to balance what everyone tells you to do, what the fans want you to do, and what you and your (hopefully trusted) writing team want and plan to do. I could never be a show runner and while there are quite a few with whom I've got bones to pick, I cannot deny that they all do a job I would never, ever be capable of pulling off. I'd quit on day three.

So, yeah, they gave Buck a temporary girlfriend as filler, to kinda cap off his current arc if this was the end, or to provide more layers to his full arc if they got another season. If you don't like that, then that's okay. Nobody is telling you to like it. When you come into someone's inbox like this, the assumption is that you're looking to be reassured, and so that's why you're getting the responses that you are. The previous people who've answered you have been trying to reassure you and allay the concerns you seem to have.

But it seems to me like you want a more full conversation, and possibly, that you just want to rant and vent. That's fine, but find a friend for that. Join a discord server. Because when you send the same stuff over and over again to different people, all of whom give you basically the same reply, it just makes you look like a very obstinate stick in the mud who wants everyone else to join them in being upset, and people don't much like having the same conversation multiple times, or being pushed into being upset when they're not.

You might just have to agree to disagree, and move on. Find other ways to get this out of your system, because my inbox, and the inboxes of others, is not the place for your venting in circles.

Now, in spite of my firm tone, I hope you will believe me when I say that I hope you're taking care of yourself, and that you are staying safe in this scary world, and that you have a good rest of your day.

[hella1975]

choked up in my room rn bc i was sat in the car with my mum completely lost in thought and she out of nowhere went 'are you okay?' and i was like 'yeah? why?' bc i was totally fine i was literally just thinking and she let it go and then five entire minutes later she goes 'are you sure? have i done something?' and she sounded so genuinely anxious and i could tell she'd been thinking about it the entire 5 minutes while id been completely oblivious and i spent so many years as a child letting everything bottle up until it all burst out in a messy and ugly breakdown that took her down with me and despite that she never hated me she only ever blamed herself for not seeing the signs and she's never been able to see my signs because i keep everything to myself and it terrifies her that she might miss something and she handles things poorly when she's scared and she gets too angry but fundamentally she's trying her absolute hardest to be a good mother and it wasn't always enough and i know i have to hold her at least partially accountable but also she's my mum and im her daughter and she always just wants to know if im okay and most of the time im not and somehow that feels like ive betrayed her

[piplupod]

fuck the BC welfare and disability system man. this shit is so goddamn stupid

[du-hjarta-skulblaka]

Feeling slightly better today because I finally cleaned up the last worst part of the mould so now keeping everything clean should be a lot easier

Also recieved $30 (thank you!!) bringing the total this month to...around £90, after exchange and processing? Currently sitting with £40 bc my phone bill came out and, yeah, we're generally short a couple hundred and we got less in this month to begin with. Currently trying to decide between electricity and being allowed to work lmfao

Kofi as always, just in case anyone is still up to helping <3

[regallibellbright]

[ID: Screenshot from Kira Kira Precure a La Mode showing Grave saying “Don’t ever forget that there are villains who are 100% pure evil in this world!” End ID]

Yeah so we went from “cute little episode about Pekorin getting to turn human for the first time and going shopping for the patisserie as the middle school quartet look on like proud parents” to “and then Pekorin has to sacrifice her ability to turn human because Grave kicked all their asses into the ground”, and admittedly, that was a pretty significant plot episode and pretty significant tone shift.

And then in the next episode Grave turns the entire town into his puppets and the Precures get the reveal we’d seen a couple episodes ago that he absorbed the BBEG’s pet Very Evil Sapient Dog into his car. Like, completely. Diable is gone now, his soul is in the car.

The uh, “fun” thing about the food themed seasons of Precure it seems is that they can feel very low stakes up until they very abruptly aren’t.