#some of the subs are wrong in crucial places

[notfreetoday]

MPW Ep 3 Subtitle Corrections

EP 1 || EP 2 Cultural/Language Tidbits: EP 2

Same translation disclaimer applies. Thanks again for indulging my crazy long t/n, please keep geeking out with me in the notes!

We've got a change of director this episode - to Funabiki Shinju (twitter linked here) who was the scriptwriter for Jack Frost. This date is also a drama-only episode and does not appear in the manga. So, we have quite a few ad-libs here! I'll point out these out, as well as any interesting comments by the director and the producer from the Ep 3 twitter space as we go on. (Due to tumblr's image space limitations, some of these scenes will have no pics, just a description)

Ep 3, let's go! (If you read nothing in this post, please just read Yoh's monologue)

Since this is the theme of this episode, and Yoh's favourite word, let's talk a little more about it. I've mentioned it previously, but both "嫌い (kirai)" and "大嫌い (dai kirai)" are often translated as "hate/really hate", when they really function more as the opposite of "(suki)", ie "to like". That said, the amount of emotional weight this word carries depends on the context. It can accurately convey the pain/anger of hating someone, but it can also be used very mildly. For eg, it's often used by kids in the "I hate homework/vegetables/the rain/etc" form, or by teens/young adults in the "I don't want everyone to hate me" form, as opposed to other synonyms. When introducing yourself/getting to know someone, it's not uncommon to be asked "what are your suki/kirai?"

In other words, overuse of this word can actually come off as slightly childish, because kids/young people are usually the ones using this word to reject small things/express themselves. Yoh's constant insistence that he hates Segasaki pretty much sounds like this - which is why Man-san expresses doubt about it, and why when Segasaki repeats this line back to Yoh, Yoh understands that Segasaki is teasing him. (The word "love" is considered too heavy and precious of a concept to be thrown around easily, so "suki" is the default go to even in committed relationships.)

Y: 相変わらずすごいよ、この人の外面モード。 Y: As always, this person's "public mode" is amazing.

"外面 (soto zura)" literally refers to the "outside face", and when used to describe a person means someone who puts up a certain personality/attitude depending on who they're speaking to/the situation.

The reason Yoh's saying this is because Segasaki is speaking to him in a much nicer way than he usually does at home 🤣He's using plain forms yes, but he's also praising him and smiling at him and actually saying a whole, proper sentence as opposed to the one-word sickness he has at home🤣 This is most obvious right before Segasaki leaves, when he warns Yoh to be careful when drawing other people - he says "気をつけてね~ (ki o tsukete ne~)", ending with a ne~ which is sweet and cute and which he almost never does with Yoh at home 🤣🤣

Twitter Space Note (TSN): They decided that since they finally got to shoot an "outdoor scene" for Yoh, they'd try to make him look a little more fashionable with a shirt instead of a hoodie 🤣

Y: いってらっしゃい Y: Itterasshai - this is a standard greeting that you say when someone is leaving the house (or the office, if they're going out on a business errand). Basically, the one leaving says "ittekimasu" and the one staying behind says "itterasshai". They mean "(I'll) go and come back/Go safely and return well" When returning, you say "tadaima" and the one welcoming you back says "okaerinasai" meaning: "(I have) just now (returned)/ (you have) returned safely". Unlike Yoh, Segasaki does none of these standard greetings (which Yoh complained about in Ep 1 whilst chopping onions).

Y: だからね、気持ちが通じ合った*っていう描写が必要だと思うんだよおれは Y: だからこそ、体が盛り上がる**、的な？ M: はーん。中高生処女みたいなこといってろ Original: Y: That's why I think it's necessary to depict the feeling of "mutual understanding" Y: That's how the physical aspect also gets exciting... or something like that? M: Hmm.. talking about it like a high school virgin, huh? Mine: Y: So that's why, I think it's important - showing that (the characters') have this unspoken understanding* of each other's feelings. Y: It's precisely because of that, that you get physically excited** - something like that? M: Mm.... you're saying things a high-school virgin would say **体が盛り上がる - literally, "the body gets excited/heated up/lively etc" - given that they are talking about erotica, he probably means physically aroused here, but this term also works to explain the feeling of excitement or emotion just swelling in your chest for eg *通じ合った - is not just "mutual understanding" - it specifically refers to a situation in which both parties understand each other without having to say a word - like when you look at someone and just get them, or like in sports, you just look at your team mate and you know.

This is an important distinction because in this line, Yoh again emphasizes "I" - at the end of the sentence he ends off with the pronoun "俺 (ore)" marked by the subject particle "は (wa)" - which means that in this sentence Yoh is emphasizing that this is his opinion - that he himself thinks it's important to show that 2 people simply get each other, because that's exactly what translates to that sensation you feel in your body. This is what Yoh wants - he wants to understand Segasaki, and he wants Segasaki to understand him, without them having to actually say anything. Which at the moment, only Segasaki is achieving, ironically.

[ Man-san's dialogue, where she says "a sex scene follows]

TSN: Man-san actually only says “se-“ here, and then mutes herself (because they’re in public). In the script, it was supposed to be the full “sex” word, but they weren't sure whether it would be ok (it's not clear whether they mean ok for the actress to say this or ok for the show in general) so in the end it became "se-". Yes it's an odd place to be concerned about given the whole Ep2 but #Japan

Again, the word here used is “kirai” but translated as “dislike” instead of hate 😉

TSN: Between this scene and the start of the next scene, they praised how Acchan uses his eyes to convey Yoh's dejection and how he expresses Yoh's emotions very sensitively through his gaze (and I agree!)

TSN: The director mentioned that she had thought it would look good if Segasaki to put his hand up like this on the ceiling partition, but the moment Kouhei walked in, he just did it naturally without her having to say anything, and so she was really amazed.

S: じゃ、出かけるぞ (Jya, dekakeru zo) S: Then, we’re going out.

“Let’s go out” would be more of "じゃ、でかけましょう (Jya, dekakemashou)" – by using the ending form “(-ma)shou”, the listener is included in the action of going out as an equal to the speaker, the same way “let’s” is used in English. It is by far the most common way Japanese people make a statement without trying to sound too overbearing. But here, Segasaki once again demonstrates his habit of simply stating what they’re going to do, and speaking for Yoh. The sentence-final particle “zo” at the end of his sentence is an assertive one that doesn’t leave much room for argument.

TSN: Again they talked about how they emphasised to Acchan to do the housework improperly, since Yoh isn't supposed to be good at it. Also, when Yoh thinks, "what's with this, all of a sudden?", the director asked that he move his hands "more" as he folded the clothes, like he was still happy to be asked out.

Y: デート自体ないんだよ Y: I’ve never even been on a date.

Y: 俺、いま一体何してんだろう Y: What am I even doing right now?

Yoh’s not wondering what they’re doing, he’s questioning his own actions, like "why am I even here, doing this, what am I supposed to do" etc, because you know, he's never even been on a date before and he has no clue whether this actually is one.

[The scene with the 2 of them on the bench, and Segasaki asks Yoh what he'd like to eat]

TSN: The script only went up to Yoh answering that he wanted to eat “Chinese food”, and this whole bit afterward just happened naturally when they let the camera run.

Yoh says “たっか(taka)!” which is short for “高い(takai)” aka “expensive!” but his voice is so cute here I’m dying. (It really is bloody expensive, these things are usually anywhere between 180 yen – 300 yen pre-pandemic. Even with the big one they have here, I don’t think anyone would sell this above 500 yen)

TSN: They said they searched for a 1200 yen steamed pork bun but couldn’t find one, and in actuality the store sells them at a really reasonable price, so to please go give it a try 🤣🤣

[The scene of them walking and sharing the chicken cutlet]

TSN: This scene, as well as them walking along they alley way looking at the shops, was mostly ad-libbed (which is probably why we see Acchan smiling so much here hahaha I’m guessing the question about which he liked better was probably an adlib, which surprised Acchan). For the alleyway, they were told that their conversation was not going to be used, so they were quite relaxed (and that explains the audio fade out lol)

[The scene of them drinking Boba/Bubble Tea]

About Gyaru - when Boba/Bubble Tea first came to Japan, it became pretty popular amongst Gyaru, and quickly became associated with Gyaru culture - hence why they both felt it was something only Gyaru drank. It's similar to the idea that only ladies eat sweets/desserts that was briefly mentioned in OFC (which makes Nozue feel awkward about 2 men eating cake in a dessert cafe) - here they mean they both felt too embarrassed to try Boba out before due to the idea that it's a "Gyaru" drink (and I love how Yoh looks at Segasaki then, like he only just realises that even Segasaki might get embarrassed/feel awkward sometimes).

S: 乗るぞ (noru zo)

Again, this is “we’re riding it” instead of “let’s”.

Y: 思ったよりすごく透明で Y: (The cabin) is more transparent than I thought

The floor of the cabin is actually clear, so you can see right down through to the bottom, which is why Yoh is a little freaked out here. Not because he thought glass wasn’t transparent.

TSN: Acchan is also afraid of heights, so the stiffness you see here is real, he really didn’t like it, but they went 4 rounds in total to finish this scene. (Kouhei apparently was fine and enjoyed looking right through the glass, though I can’t remember which interview this was mentioned in, sorry!)

S: ほら S: See?

ほら (hora) is commonly used to draw the listener’s attention to something, so here Segasaki really just means “look (I was right)”

TSN: They apparently redid the scene where Segasaki dismisses the store attendant many times so they could make sure it was done in a way that looked natural and wouldn’t be off-putting.

We’re back to one of Segasaki’s humming sounds – the “hmm…?” here again conveys the “oh, really/is that so?” sort of lazy drawl that can easily be mistaken as Segasaki being bored – which is why Yoh immediately suggests they go do their own thing.

Y: そっちも、好きなところいっていいから Y: You too, it’s okay (if you go) to the places you like so…

Yoh uses “そっち” here to refer to Segasaki - which literally means “your/that side” and is another way in which Yoh avoids addressing Segasaki directly (remember, in Japan we don’t like being direct, and “you” is sometimes too direct).

Fun fact: Depending on which part of Japan you’re in, this can either be seen as a totally normal way of speaking, or it might annoy you a little to be referred to as if you were an object/place, or you might feel like the speaker was treating you a little like an “outsider”. The divide in opinion seems to be somewhere between the northeast regions, and the western regions. Tokyo and the rest of the Kantou region (where the show is based, judging by the lack of an obvious accent) are sort of 50-50.

Y: もしあれ*だったら、あ、あの、こっちはこっちで、好きにやってるし Original: Y: Ah, if you want to. Well… we’re both doing our own things… Mine: Y: If (you feel) that way*, then, ah, umm, I can… do as I like, by myself too...

*that way - this refers to that sort of awkward, uncomfortable feeling you get that is hard to describe when you’ve been put on the spot. So, this makes it clear that Yoh is offering Segasaki an “out” from this uncomfortable, weird position he thinks Segasaki is in.

Similar to his earlier sentence, Yoh refers to himself as “こっち (this side)”, and the phrase he uses pretty much means “I can entertain myself”. This is an example of kizukai – or at least, what Yoh thinks is kizukai - which is a concept where you do your best to think of the other person’s needs and wants, so you can anticipate what help they might need and so you don’t inadvertently inconvenience them. Ok, now get ready for some mental gymnastics:

From Yoh's POV, Segasaki wants to buy clothes, and has brought Yoh along to carry the bags. Therefore, Segasaki’s offer to buy him a shirt, and asking him if he is having fun, is Segasaki’s kizukai – Segasaki is going out of his way to make sure Yoh is taken care of. But! Yoh doesn’t want Segasaki to feel inconvenienced (similar to how in EP 2, Yoh said he doesn’t want Segasaki to dislike him), so he instead almost reflexively rejects Segasaki’s offer, then encourages Segasaki to go enjoy himself, and in response to Segasaki’s “Ha!?”, doubles down and says he’s totally ok by himself - This is Yoh’s kizukai.

Tired yet? This is a normal consideration in daily interactions! You can see why the phrase “yokei na kizukai (excessive/unwanted kizukai)” also exists in Japanese lolol 🤣

S: ああ。せっかくの休日に、大嫌いな俺*と一緒にいてのはたのしくない？ Original: S: Ah. So spending a day with someone you hate on your precious day off isn’t enjoyable? Mine: S: Ah. On your precious day off, being together with me – who you hate* – isn’t fun?

*“大嫌いな俺 (dai kirai na ore)” is literally “the ‘me’ that you hate”, or “me who is hated by you” - emphasis on "me", the person standing right in front of you.

Y: いや、それは…違。。。あ、その。。。 Y: No, that’s…not-…- ah.. um…

“A, so” again.

S: 五時にここ集合*な (goji ni koko shuugou *na) S: We’ll meet here at 5, *yea?

*Ending with “na” is softer than “zo” – this statement is still pretty much an order, as with his other statements that ended with “zo”, but it’s gentler, and softens the fact that he’s walking away from Yoh here.

TSN: Pretty much everyone was just going on and on about “oh, poor thing!” in response to Segasaki getting rejected and chased away, and how even though he’s sad here he’s still sweet and gentle with Yoh. Yes, that’s right, everyone loves Segasaki.

[The scene of Yoh spilling water on his shirt]

TSN: This was apparently pretty difficult to shoot in a way the camera could see the water spilling, but the wardrobe team came to the rescue with hairdryers so they could keep reshooting 🤣🤣

S: じゃ、帰んぞ  (Jya, kaen zo) S: Then, we’re going back

“zo” is back! Sorry for being so pedantic about tiny things like this, but I do think it gives us insight into Segasaki's character and how he may be feeling.

This line is the most important correction in this post.

Y: 本当はさ、ずっと、ささいな表情とか、しぐさとか、 俺が言うこと聞くとちょっと嬉しそうにするのとか、 晴れの予報を告げる優しい声とか、 全部バカみたいに俺ばっかり。 毎日俺ばっかり心臓大暴れさせてるみたいで　 嫌だった Y: むかつくとこ拾い集めて　大嫌いだって思ってないと　 その気持ちの不釣り合いに　息ができなくなってしまいそうで 嫌だった Y: 嫌いじゃない　嫌いじゃないよ Original: Y: Actually, all these times, your expressions, gestures, the way you look kind of happy when you listen to me, and your gentle voice forecasting good weather. All of them, make my heart beat as if it’s coming out. I don’t like it. Y: I gathered everything that annoyed me, thinking that if I didn’t, the imbalance of my feelings would suffocate me. I don’t like it. Y: I don’t hate you. I really don’t. Mine: Y: In truth, all this while, the little expressions you make, the gestures you do, the way you seem just that little bit happier when I listen to you, and the gentle voice with which you announce the sunny weather… All of that - like an idiot, it's just me who… It feels like it's just me whose heart has been made to pound and race wildly and - I didn't like that. Y: If I didn't gather up all the things that frustrated me and told myself "I hate this" then, the disparity (between us) in those feelings would suffocate me, making me feel like I could hardly breathe and - I didn't like that. Y: I don't hate you. I really don't hate you.

TSN: This was ad-libbed too. It just happened that the metal post was coming up in between them as they walked, and Acchan saw it and planned to go around it, because he felt that emotionally there was a gap forming between Yoh and Segasaki at this point. But right as he was about to do that, Kouhei grabbed him by the sleeve and pulled him over, which Acchan was really surprised by, because they both had the same thought to ad-lib something about that post, and they both did it as their characters would do it, but it was the exact opposite action. The director said that when the 2 were walking back towards the start point they were both smiling a little, and then asked the director “how was that?” to which she replied “It’s really great!”, and then Acchan looked a little frustrated (in a sorta arrgh I got it wrong sort of way) whereas Kouhei was all “I was definitely right” (Acchan mentioned he was abit worried about the ad-lib, so I’m guessing they both were discussing as they walked back and finally decided to settle it by asking the director hahaha)

Y: すいません S: なにが Y: その。。。いろいろ S: だからなにが Original: Y: I’m sorry S: For what? Y: Well, for everything S: What do you mean? Mine: Y: I’m sorry S: About what? Y: That… for many things S: And (I said,), about what?

Yoh uses the formal "すいません (suimasen)" here, as opposed to his usual and more casual "gomen" or "gomen nasai", because this line is important to him, and he means it. "Sorry" in Japanese does not always carry the meaning of regret/remorse - it can be used to express gratitude as well. You''ll often here people say "Sorry that you had to (go through the trouble)" after they've accepted a gift, or "Sorry, I've caused you much trouble" as a way of thanking someone for their care. So, Yoh says "sorry" here after accepting Segasaki's gift, which could be seen as a thank you, but he also means he's sorry that he's like this, that he can't be honest/straightforward about his feelings (a theme that is brought up in Ep 4), that Segasaki has to care for him like this etc. "For many things" is a common way to encompass all of these mixed feelings, and yet not say them out directly.

Y: どうせ口じゃ、うまく言えないから Original: No matter what, I don’t dare say it Mine: Since I can't get the words out of my mouth properly anyway

S: よくできました (yoku dekimashita)

This is a formal way of saying “well done”, and if you did well in your work/test in elementary school you’d get a stamp that says just this, or your teacher would draw you a flower. The more elaborate the flower, the better you did. This is the only time thus far that Segasaki has said anything formal to Yoh at all. The sudden shift, and the imagery this phrase evokes – a literal stamp of approval – emphasises not just Segasaki’s approval, but also his role in Yoh’s life (ie, his role as Yoh’s provider, or well, maybe keeper is more accurate. Honestly Dom makes the most sense, but I’m not qualified to talk about that so see @lutawolf posts for more!). We’ll talk more about how both Segasaki and Yoh acknowledge the power dynamic between them in the way the speak in the language analysis post (that will come after this, before Ep 4's).

Y: この人、もしかして本当はめっちゃ俺のこと。。。？ Y: This person… could it be that he actually…really is… …me?

Y: 信じていい？ Y: Is it ok if I believe? sue me, I think believe and trust carry different nuances.

S: よかったな* (yokatta *na) S: シーツ買ったからいっぱいできんじゃん、大好きなセックス S: まあ　残念ながら　相手は大嫌いな俺**ですけど Original: S: Great, S: with more sheets, we can do it more often. Your beloved sex S: Well, unfortunately the other person is someone you hate Mine: S: Isn't this nice* S: Since you bought more sheets, we can do it a lot - the sex that you love so much S: Well, unfortunately, your partner is me - who you hate **so much

*The use of "na" here is slightly different from the one earlier - here it is used more for emphasis, and the downward tone carries a hint of mockery.

Again, Segasaki uses the same "the me who you hate" phrasing as he did earlier, emphasizing to Yoh once again that Segasaki is the one Yoh hates. Except here, he also ends off the sentence with "ですけど (desukedo)", and the whole phrasing of this line too, from the word "unfortunately" onwards, just feels business-like. As before, the shift in style gives the statement more weight- Segasaki is really not letting Yoh get away with this line here, and Yoh feels this acutely. The sharpness of the line makes him turn away abruptly in shock and even some anger.

S: お前が好きにしていいって言うんだから S: 好きにさせてもらうけど　*な (na)？ S: お前　本当バーカ Original: S: You told me to do as I like, S: then I’ll do what I want. Okay? S: You really are… an idiot Mine: S: You said I could do as I wish so, S: I'll gratefully do as I please... *yea? S: You're...really an idiot

*The "na" used here is similar to the one Segasaki used when telling Yoh to meet back at 5, in that it assumes the listener will agree with the speaker. This time it's not so much used to soften an imperative, but rather, to soften the teasing of the preceeding line - "I'll gratefully do as I please".

The phrase used here is "~させてもらう (~sasete morau)". "Sasete" means "to do" something, with the permission of the other person, and "morau" means "to receive (with thanks/gratefulness)" so together this phrase means that you're going to "do something (with the permission of the other person)", and you are thankful to have received that permission. It's usually used for things like asking your boss "May I please go home early with your kind permission" sorta thing, or telling someone that you "ate a meal someone provided for you that you are grateful for".

So here, Segasaki is pretty much saying "I'll do as I please since you so kindly told me I could, didn't you?" which is why he smirks as he says it.

/////

And we're finally done with EP 3!! Finally! Now I can finally talk about their general speech styles and what it means when they choose to switch between them. Thanks for joining me! Also, shout out to @eralkfang for tagging me in their meta post - I'm really glad these posts are helpful that way!!

[wosowrites]

Loosing Control (Jordan Nobbs x Reader)

Warnings: none

a/n: for my well being, i’m going to pretend Jordan is still with arsenal!! also, jordan is the love interest and plays a big part in the story but it’s also kind of an arsenal x reader fix. based on this request:

Prompt: In which fans were getting disrespectful ( i’ll be using this prompt a lot bcs i love it )

You loved playing at the Emirates. It was one of your favorite stadiums to play at, behind Wembley. But, with big stadiums, came more fans, and usually you loved the environment they brought. The cheers, the happiness, the support… it was always welcome by the Arsenal girls. Except today, it seemed as though people were unusually un-tamed.

It was Leah’s birthday, and the second leg of the quarter final against Bayern, you were 2-0 up at half, and then after. Arsenal was playing amazing. Your girlfriend, Jordan Nobbs got subbed on in the 73 minute. You were worried about her, she wasn’t getting the playing time she deserves. But that was a thought for later. You pushed hard, working to try and keep Bayern out of Manu’s box. As a defender, you were making crucial tackles constantly, and by the end of the game, you just fell down onto your back.

Jordan ran up to you, smiling wildly and kneeling down behind you, doing a drum roll on your stomach. "That was fucking amazing!" She yelled, you let out a laugh and sat up, soon helped up by the smaller girl. You hugged her tightly, then pressing your forehead against hers.

Your bubble popped when you saw the Arsenal girls and staff lining up and holding hands, all of them looking at the fans. You and Jordan ran up to them and you grabbed Leah’s hand in one, and Jordan’s in the other. You all ran up to the fans and lifted your hands in the air, the crowd was wild.

You took a few pictures, and talked to a few of the girls on both teams, consoling Giorgia Stanway. Then, fans started calling your name and you walked over to them, smiling. You signed jerseys, hats, flags, scarves, arms, paper, phone cases. Everything. But it was starting to get a lot. "Y/n!! Look over here! Y/N! WHAT THE HELL DUDE?!" An especially angry man was yelling at you, and most fans around him were eyeing him weirdly. Jordan was signing things beside you and Manu was busy talking to a girl wearing her keeping jersey on your left. You didn’t really notice what was going on in the cluster of thighs being waved at you. But then you heard someone say. "Y/n! Can you sign my cleat?" And then you saw something flying towards you.

The object made collision with your head, making you let out a scream and double over in pain. You rested your hands on your knees, bending over. After a second to recover, you brought your hand to your forehead and felt sticky, wet blood. There was then a hand on your back as you straightened up and placed the entirety of your palm on your cut. When you took away your hand, you saw it covered crimson red. Manu looked at you, worried and then Jordan noticed the commotion as the crowd had gotten quite silent. The people in other sections of the stadium were looking around in confusion and so we’re both teams and their managers. You looked up at the fans, anger you couldn’t hold in on your face. You slipped off your shirt, and then the fans started yelling, thinking you would give it to them. "What the hell is wrong with you guys?!" You yelled, but no one but Manu and Jordan who were at your side heard. Pressing your jersey to your forehead, you walked back to the bench, accompanied by your keeper and girlfriend. "What the hell happened?" Jordan asked, stopping you in the field and placing her hand over yours that was keeping the jersey to your face. She pulled the jersey away gently and looked at the cut before applying pressure with your jersey again. "Some psycho threw their cleat at me. They wanted me to sign it." You said. "You’re joking." Manu said, looking behind her shoulder. "I wish. Shit it fucking hurts." You were now almost at the bench when Jonas and the medical team came rushing up to you. "What happened?" Jonas asked, doing the same gesture Jordan had done and taking the jersey off your forehead. "Someone threw their cleat at her. I’ll kill them! I’m not joking." Jordan snarled. "I’ll kill them too! Let’s go!" Jonas said, "Hey! I’m coming too!" Katie yelled, wobbling on her crutches. They all started to walk towards the section you had just came back from. But most of the Arsenal girls, having noticed a commotion had surrounded you guys now, and Jonas got held back by Stina and Rafaelle, Leah held back little Jordan and Caitlin stepped in front of Katie. "Calm down. Okay everyone take a second to breathe. Let’s go in the tunnel." Stina told the group as loudly as she could.

The medic had replaced your dirty jersey with a wet towel that you were holding to your head as you walked into the tunnel, you walked into the changing room and everyone took places at their cubbies. "Okay girls, we’ll address the… y/n situation-" Jonas started saying as you laughed. "-later. But right now… WERE ON TO THE SEMIS!" He yelled. The group started screaming and jumping out of joy, but you stayed put because the medical examiner was cleaning your cut. "You won’t need stitches. I’ll just put a bandaid over it to keep it closed." The man said. You nodded at him and thanked him. He put on the bandaid, informed Jonas and then walked out. "Do you think they got the person throwing their cleat at you on video?" Katie asked you. "I don’t know. Maybe?" You asked.

There was a TV in the changing room and sooner than you knew it, Leah had turned the broadcasts on and rewinded it. Surely enough, there was a camera panning the stadium just as you got the cleat to the head. You can clearly see how you doubled over and how Manu came rushing to you.

"Ten bucks says I can go back out there and make the person who threw that shoe wish they were never born." Jordan said, only half joking. "I’d pay good money to see that. But you don’t want to end up on those 'when arsenal women loose control' videos on youtube." Caitlin joked. "Oh my god… I yelled. I yelled at the fans when they started screaming for my jersey when I took it off to wipe my blood. Am I gonna be on those videos? I can’t be on those videos. Those are like.. 98% clips of Katie!" You said, making Katie scowl at you even though she knew you were right. "Don’t scowl. You know it’s true." You said to her.

"No one heard you, the stadium was too loud. It’s all good." Manu said, smiling at you from across the room.

You went on to shower and then change, and eventually it was only you and Jordan left in the locker room. "I’m proud of you. You played great." You told her, walking up to her and putting your hands on her waist. She held your arms and smiled at you. "Thank you. It felt good to be on even if it was only for 20 minutes." She told you, tucking a strand of wet hair behind your ear. She leaned in to kiss you, and you kissed, tangling your fingers through her hair. "Let’s go love birds." Kim Little said, peeping through the door way. "We don’t get any privacy, do we?" You laughed, keeping your hands on Jordan as you both looked at Kim. "You’re making out in the changing room like teens. Let’s go." She laughed, walking away. "Sit with me?" You asked, looking back at her. "Why do you always ask me that? I’ve been sitting with you every trip for years." Jordan said, grabbing her bag and yours. "For old times sake. To remember the first time you asked me to sit with you." You said simply.

7 years ago.

It was your first away game since joining Arsenal. You had joined only a month ago, but due to international break and the schedule, all your games had been home games. You were nervous, not wanting to be the one sitting by yourself. You had gotten close with the girls, but you were still shy. Jordan Nobbs had caught your eye, having talked to her a few times. You were 21, and fresh out of the university of Portland. Moving to London… it was hard. But you knew it would be worth it. The team were all waiting at the training centre with their luggage, waiting for the bus that would take them to Manchester for their game against City. You were standing quietly in a circle with a few of your teammates when Jordan came running up, the girl looking even smaller beside her large luggage. "Am I late?" She said, joining the group. "Yep. As always." Leah teased. "Damn it. Don’t tell Pedro." Jordan said. You smiled at yourself, finding her tardiness funny. "What you laughing at?" She teased you, nudging your side. "You." You laughed, looking into her eyes with a smile. Jordan looked back, ignoring the girls who had started up their conversation again. "Hey, sit with me?" She asked. Your eyes widened at the offer, but you nodded. "I’d love too."

[whole-bunch-of-hcs]

Sub-Drop HCs

Coop:

It should surprise no one that Coop is a little bit of a baby. So if he's not taken care of properly, or it's just been the wrong kind of day, he crashes and crashes hard.

And he NEEDS comfort. The aftercare he needs after this is so crucial

He can't really define his feelings in the moment or afterward but it's probably something really similar to shame. He's still a guy, after all, and some of this feels kind of emasculating.

He loves it any other time, but sometimes it just hits weird and now he's not okay, y'know?

Holding you will make him feel a bit better, so will a warm bath or a good snack. He's simple, what can I say

You can't leave him alone but he might seem closed off. It's no big deal, it's just the typical emotional process of a dumb blonde with daddy issues.

Basically sub drop protocol is the same as any Sad Coop protocol: remove what's bothering him if possible, feed, clean, and cuddle. He'll fall asleep and wake up with a better attitude.

Sometimes it might help to call Remer in and have Remer help you comfort him. They've just been friends for so long that Remer knows all the tricks.

Eventually you won't need that anymore and Remer will in fact be calling YOU in when Coop's upset and you're not around

Remer

Generally knows his limits better than Coop so he won't usually push himself into breaking his own boundaries.

He will however definitely have off days, or work himself into a mood over something, or otherwise become fragile enough that he'll decide during sex that everything is wrong and it's all fucked

And then he needs you very badly

Again, can't define these feelings but it's shame-based. He doesn't usually feel shame but when he does it hits hard.

What he needs will depend on the day but it generally involves taking a break, just being fussed over a bit.

He'll probably want to finish later anyway, just not as intense of a dynamic during so that he can still come without thinking about whatever hit him in the first place

Again, Coop may be required if nothing else is helping. Sometimes you wonder abt them-

He might use it as an excuse to lay on your chest or squeeze your ass. Like don't get him wrong it WAS serious and he DOES appreciate you... but bring out the titties. Y'know. Just because. It might help!!

He's also a bit on the switchier side so he gets dom drop sometimes too and when that happens just let him hold you while he gets 'they're not afraid of me because I've never seriously hurt them' through his fluffy-haired head

[kube-city]

Learning A Craft Is Essential For Children's Growth And Development

Arts & crafts offer your child a one-of-a-kind, enjoyable opportunity to learn and enhance their skills. With the COVID-19 pandemic preventing children from being in a classroom, it is appropriate to encourage them to explore, engage in arts, and build a craft. Starting in kindergarten, art and craft are the most vital aspects for every growing youngster. The wonderful thing about arts and crafts is that they do not require anything exceptional or unique to produce and leave memories in the brains of children. Art and craft activities provide children with a sense of accomplishment and allow them to take pride in their work, which boosts their confidence. Making art is a terrific, risk-free approach to learning that it's alright to make errors and that doing things wrong can lead to a completely new idea. Children get to try new things while simultaneously developing their "self-regulation abilities." This helps them develop patience, which all children require!

A Platform That Helps People To Find Anything In Their Neighbourhood

Kube City is an online informative marketplace, where people can have information about anything in their neighbourhood from a bookshop in Noida to Stationery Near Me. Kube offers deals & discounts on various shops, stores and vendors. Kube City includes over 3000+ listed shops, retailers, merchants, and vendors, 20+ various categories, and 200+ sub-categories, which is extremely handy for our daily home needs and essentials, especially after the epidemic. We often don't want to bother asking for daily services in Noida from anyone in a new place, so simply type your urgent or daily home needs into the search field, anything like the daily essentials, and Kube will show you the results in your neighbourhood as well as some extra offers.

Early Childhood Literacy Skills In Art And Crafts Vary From Speaking And Reading To Listening And Understanding

When children create art or crafts, they have the opportunity to discuss their work, which improves their communication abilities. They also learn new words from their parents, and they use their listening abilities when following verbal directions. As youngsters grow into toddlers, they experience rapid growth of communication abilities as well as perspective-taking, or the ability to see things from someone else's point of view. Basic math abilities are sometimes overlooked as part of art and craft activities, yet they are regularly employed and have a good effect on the development of mathematical skills in preschool children.

Art And Crafts Can Help Your Child Enhance His or Her Math Skills

Children can learn and recognise different shapes, count and sort their painting tools, and even measure the lengths and sizes of art items. Math requires good thinking and problem-solving skills, which art and crafts activities can help with. When children manipulate creative materials with their fingers, they are developing fine motor skills by using the small muscles in their hands. It aids in the development and mastery of fine motor abilities, which is crucial for social education. Their bilateral coordination improves as they learn to use both hands simultaneously. All of this occurs when kids paint, colour, glue, and cut. The faster their fine motor skills develop, the more they will be able to perform on their own, from feeding to tying their own shoelaces.

Making Art And Crafts With Your Child Is A Wonderful Way To Bond And Spend Time With Them

Art encourages children to express their creativity, which is beneficial throughout their lives. Doing something creative allows for self-expression, which allows children to express themselves. It also promotes mental development by allowing an opportunity to try out new ideas, ways of thinking, and problem-solving. You spend quality time bonding with your children while also creating lifelong memories by crafting together. You can express your thoughts, feelings, and concerns. Furthermore, your child is not utilising technology or staring at a screen.

View Source: https://kubecity.blogspot.com/2022/12/learning-craft-is-essential-for.html

[phantomnostalgist]

An Interview with Terry Pratchett, 1996

Spoiler-free review of Terry Pratchett's Phantom-inspired Discworld novel "Maskerade" from BTM #11, and interview with him from BTM #12 (conducted by Sarah Hopkins).

What inspired you to use the Phantom's story as part of the basis for "Maskerade"?

I don't know! I've been aware of the story ever since I was a teenager because when you start to read fantasy you can't help but run across it. I've read the book, seen the musical and several film versions (including the ones "derived" from the original story) but none of this was as a result of deliberate policy - it was just general cultural grazing. I was very impressed by Lloyd Webber's Phantom, as much because of the stagecraft as anything else. And the music of course.

But Maskerade is at least equally about the sheer frantic, claustrophobic, self-obsessed madness which drives opera. Almost all the action takes place at Ankh-Morpok's opera house at night or in shadows, in a world where it's very hard to know what's real at the best of times. As is often the case when Granny Weatherwax becomes involved, a sub-text is about the distinctions between reality and fantasy and the dangers of confusing the two (both are fine - it's allowing one to completely dominate the other that is the evil).

I suppose I should stress this: the "Phantom" plot (which isn't a re-run of the classic plot but maybe shadows it in a way that "Wyrd Sisters" shadows Macbeth) is only a thread behind and around which the other threads unwind. For example, because she's afraid of voices which appear to come from her mirror, Christine (who is beautiful but has a voice like a whistle) changes rooms with Agnes, a girl from Granny Weatherwax's home country of Lancre, who is fat and plain but has a phenomenal singing voice - so there's room for the traditional comedy of the right thing happening to the wrong people, for starters...

How will your interpretation differ from Erik's previous incarnations?

In a way Granny Weatherwax (assisted by Nanny Ogg) has to become a detective, but because she's a witch she's dealing with things at a deeper and darker level than the mere fingerprints and indeed she's as much interested in whydunnit as whodunniet. She's the first to spot the obvious read for the Opera Ghost's schizophrenia, simply by thinking clearly. The opera folk are so used to tortured plots, romance and people in masks that they don't see the blindingly obvious precisely because it's obvious. I can't go on without revealing crucial details!

What do you feel is the appeal of the character that is has been returned to so many times by so many different people?

The character of the Phantom fascinates but does not necessarily appeal (this is Granny Weatherwax thinking). In the musical he kills two quite blameless people, besides blackmailing the Opera and the inference is that this is somehow okay if you are a romantically tortured soul who looks dashing in a mask. I was initially affronted by this. Do you not grieve for the innocent dead? In much the same vein Thomas Harris, in the Silence of the Lambs, succeeds in presenting Hannibal Lecter as a hero despite the fact that he's just killed two policemen whose only fault was to be nicer to him than he deserved. The suggestion in the musical is that style has its own morality. This drives Granny Weatherwax wild and doesn't appeal to me much, either.

I preferred the character of Erik in the book. He seemed to me much more to be pitied, far more a monster created by the Frankenstein of society in general. The morality of the book works in a way that the slicker musical does not.

What areas of the Phantom's legend are explored in Maskerade?

I look at the fairly obvious things: why he's there, how he moves invisibly, how he can get around the theatre so quickly...

Many of your most successful characters are in some way outside the so-called real world and so have a certain amount of trouble dealing with it. Do you find this type of character more fun to write and does Erik fit into this category?

Really? Most of us are outside the real world in some way. There's not much narrative mileage in a perfectly balanced character.

Do you believe the Phantom really existed?

In the most basic real sense? I know of no evidence that he did; I've always assumed that Gaston's comments about the skeleton were part of the set-up. But he's as real as Sherlock Holmes.

- Beneath the Mask #12, Spring 1996

(Plz ignore Pterry's incorrect use of "schizophrenia"!)

[stickyy]

I loved what you wrote about student! college! aizawa,if it's not too much trouble,I would like to read a second part but it contains a sub!aizawa,dom!reader,mommy kink and pegging please. I have to take advantage of the fact that you are the first blog with dark content that I see that accepts pegging,an opportunity that I will not miss,but if it gets complicated for you oh you don't like it,you can reject my request.

DISCLAIMER: always ask for consent first!

warnings: DUBCON, sub!aizawa, edging, verbal abuse, bondage, pegging, gn!reader but light mommy kink is used in reference to, praise kink if you squint?, slightly unrealistic depictions of pegging, reader is fed up but that doesnt excuse their actions :P

word count: 3489

notes: sorry for the delay, i hope u like anon! :D there should always be more pegging fic out there

part 1 here

EXAM SEASON

Finals season is quickly approaching, sending the entire campus into a frenzy, students scrambling like displaced ants trying to finish last minute assignments, novel-esque essays, merciful extra credit projects. The workload takes its toll on everyone, even the star students. You found Aizawa in even worse moods more frequently; a schedule consisting of all nighters spent studying old material followed by early classes and a job on the side, he was absolutely exhausted. You sometimes sneak a peek over at him during class to see his head bobbing slightly, bloodshot eyes struggling to stay open as he fights sleep. A small part of you feels bad for him; he’s a diligent student, and you were sympathetic to his exhaustion.

You still hate the asshole, though.

You found yourself snagged in a twisted sort of arrangement with Aizawa after midterms. There was always a half-assed attempt at tutoring you before giving up and cramming his cock down your throat or deep inside your cunt, leaving you sore and dripping with his cum, all the while spewing insults targeted at your intelligence (or lack thereof). In exchange, he’d complete your assignments and allow you to copy his answers on exam days. Ignoring the situation is where you make peace with yourself; you feel used, but you also have no other option if you want to pass this class.

What you hate the most is the way you roll over and take it. You’re more than just a hole to fuck, you know that, but you’re helpless against his searing abuse and venomous scowls. Even when you try to be nice, it only makes him crueler, your soft pleas and offers of peace an invitation to tear you down and make you cry. You want to fight, to claw and tear into him out of spite. You don’t want to feel so weak anymore.

So, you decide to do something about it.

It’s late, campus illuminated by street lamps and headlights of cars passing by as you make your way into the dorms. After your first encounter, Aizawa began inviting you back to his room instead of the library, deciding to “study” in his personal space as opposed to possibly getting caught in the library with his cock down your throat. You didn’t complain, but it’s especially convenient today, with what you have planned. Knocking on the door softly, you worry your bottom lip between your teeth, anxious for what’s to come.

“Open,” he calls out from inside, prompting you to enter. You pass through the messy common room he shares with his roommate and enter his bedroom, opening the door quietly. Aizawa’s room is tidy compared to the outside, bed made, tousled only where he sits with his laptop, typing.

“You’re late,” he squints at you from behind the screen, shutting the device. “Not surprising.”

“Sorry,” you mutter, placing your book bag on the floor and taking out the very heavy law textbook (that you hadn’t bothered to open since midterms). You take your seat next to him and open to the most recent chapter you read over. He’s silent, only speaking to answer your questions as you focus on the text. You can tell he’s sleepy, his responses slurred and delayed, and you glance over to see him dozing off. Late study sessions and Aizawa’s recent exhaustion meant more often than not that he fell asleep before tormenting you. The first time was startling, but you learned that it was a regular occurrence. 

You prefer Aizawa when he’s drowsy. His usually hard features were softened, quiet snores rumbling from his chest. His dark hair messily framing his face as he leans back against the headboard of his bed, arms folded over his chest. He’s good-looking, no doubt. If his personality matched, you could see yourself falling for him.

His eyes open, shooting you a questioning look, and you duck your head back into your textbook, embarrassed at being caught staring.

You keep quiet for another 20 or so minutes, waiting until he’s truthfully asleep and not just resting. You have to be careful not to wake him, as you aren’t keen on being reprimanded for what you're about to do.

Once you’ve deemed it safe, you stealthily open your bag and retrieve the small plastic bag stored inside. With the help of online shopping, you bought some handcuffs, lube, a dildo, and a harness. You aren’t all into pegging, but this was less about the sex and more about proving yourself, forcing him to respect you, in some perverse way. You retrieve the cuffs, gripping them carefully as to not make any sounds. This is the most crucial part; as long as you could get him restrained, you’d could dish out any revenge you desire. You slip off of the bed and tip-toe, almost comically, around the other side of the bed. You test the waters, snapping your fingers near Aizawa. He doesn’t stir, chest rising and falling with his deep breathing.

You steel yourself with a deep breath; this was your chance. You make quick work with the handcuffs, gently yet hastily clicking the metal around one wrist and looping the cuffs through the headboard before securing his other wrist. A grin spreads across your face; you’re thankful he’s such a deep sleeper.

Now that you had him where you wanted him, you were paralyzed by the sheer amount of possibilities. You climb over him apprehensively, hovering over the unconscious man, who only shifts minutely. The peaceful look on his face puts a small pit in your stomach; this was wrong… right? Technically, this was assault. You frown, a small chill running down your spine. Is this what you had become? It was almost enough to convince you to stop, but you force yourself to remember the first time Aizawa had his way with you, the way you choked and gagged and had to hide your face until you could find a bathroom to wipe off the dried cum that adhered to your skin.

This was his fault; he made you like this.

“Fuck it,” you say aloud, bracing yourself before grabbing a handful of his hair and yanking, hard. He awakes with a surprised gasp, wrenching his head away from the assault.

“The fuck?” He bites, eyes drowsily scouring the situation. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Just waking you up,” you smile, releasing your grip. “It’s kind of boring watching you sleep. I thought we were supposed to be studying.”

Aizawa gives you an agitated look, disoriented as he tries to move, only to find his range of motion limited. “You fucking handcuffed me?”

“Yeah, I can’t believe you didn’t wake up,” you chuckle, sliding your hands under his shirt and running your hands over his taut stomach. He keeps his eyes on you with an expectant expression, waiting for an explanation.

“You know, I like you so much more when you're asleep,” you continue, idly tracing patterns on the skin of his abdomen. “No insults, no curses, no glaring. You’re pretty handsome when you’re not being a total douchebag.”

“Let me go,” he ignores you, yanking the handcuffs. “This isn’t funny.”

“I think it’s pretty funny, actually. You’ve spent all semester treating me like shit, and for what? All I’ve done is be nice to you, even after you call me names and abuse me. It hurts my feelings, you know? It’s not like I’m trying to fail this class, I just needed a little extra help, and you take advantage of that every week. So I do think this is pretty fucking hilarious. Maybe you’ll see just how great I feel when you bully me.”

If looks could kill, your heart would have stopped right then and there. Rage burns behind his glare when he meets your eyes, still struggling to break the cuffs. You’d never seen him like this; at his worst, he seems moderately annoyed in your day to day. Despite being an insufferable asshole, he always manages to keep a cool air about him. Never giving anyone much of a reaction, he’s only nasty when he desires. Watching his face take a red tint and his eyes narrow in frustration send waves of satisfaction rippling through your chest. 

“You don’t know what you’re doing,” he grits out, “If you let me go now, I’ll forget all about this. I promise that you don’t want what’s coming for you once I get out of these cuffs.”

He did have a point; you had no idea what you were doing. That wasn’t going to stop you, though.

“Aw, it’s not so fun now, isn’t it?” You coo at him in a demeaning tone, pouting dramatically. Your wandering hands slid to his crotch, where you could feel his length stirring curiously. You bark out a laugh.

Pulling down his sweats and boxers, your mouth waters at his hardening length. Normally, your stomach would drop at the sight in anticipation for physical abuse you were about to receive. But this? This was different; knowing that you’re the one in control is absolutely captivating. You take his cock in your hands, slowly working your hand up and down. He stays silent in defiance, steady in his glare in an attempt to intimidate you. It would work, usually, but with his hands bound there was nothing he could do to you. He’s betrayed by a pleased noise that slips from his throat.

“Don’t tell me you like this? You want to be taken advantage of, is that it?” you taunt, basking in his agitation as you speed your hand up, thumbing the pre gathering on the slit.

“Watch it,” is his only response, voice dangerously low. He keeps quiet, not willing to surrender to the reactions you’re trying to draw from him. It’s a challenge, if anything, and you weren’t going to back down..

He’s fully erect in no time- you’ve spent enough time as his cocksleeve to know exactly what he likes and responds to. His eyes fall shut as you squeeze tighter, hips canting up into your hand, chasing his own release. You keep it up until he gets a little louder, close to release, and you pull your hand away, watching his dick twitch helplessly.

“Fuck- why’d you stop?” he asks groggily, opening his eyes.

“You didn’t think that I was just going to let you cum that easily, did you? I thought you were supposed to be the smart one,” you shuffle off of the bed, smiling over your shoulder as you hook your thumbs in the band of your leggings. You make a show of sliding the material down over your ass, purposefully leaning over and arching your back. You hear a pleased growl from the bed, causing you to giggle as you pull your underwear down as well.

“You could still let me go,” he offers, giving you a once over as you climb back over him, “I could forget about this if you let me fuck you.”

“Nice try, but I’ll be the one doing the fucking tonight,” you grab your bag from the floor, retrieving the lube but leaving the dildo and harness obscured in the bag. You squeeze a generous amount onto your fingers, causing Aizawa to give you a puzzled look.

“You don’t need lube, you’re always so wet for me,” it’s more of a question than an observation, since your previous trysts never included anything but his spit and your own juices. You just give him a smile before nudging his thighs open with your own, trailing your hand slowly beneath his balls, settling in between his ass and your lubed fingers circle the muscle there. The look on his face is priceless, absolutely shocked at the prospect of you inside of him. He thrashes in protest but you’re steadfast, pinning his hips down with your other hand.

“You can’t be serious,” his voice is alarmed, almost erring on the side of anxious, “you’re dumber than I thought if you think you’re just going to get away with any of this shit.”

“And what are you gonna do about it?” you sing-song, using your dry hand to tug playfully on the cuffs, “You’re a little tied up at the moment.”

“I’m going to beat your cunt up when I get out of these,” it’s a threat, and you ignore the way your stomach flutters at the words, eyes trained on his as you push two fingers inside.

He grunts, his face scrunching up, almost cutely, at the burn of the stretch. You expected him to be tight, but given how tense he is, it’s difficult to push all the way inside. You take it slow, savoring the pained expression on his face; it’s a stark contrast to his cocky demeanor when you’re being subjugated to his abuse. His chest is heaving, a lovely red flush spreading across his skin, eyebrows knit tight, lips bitten red- you’re obsessed. You move your fingers in and out slowly, scissoring just gently enough not to seriously hurt him, but enough to watch him writhe. His dick twitches despite (or maybe due to?) the pain, still red and dripping.

“This is priceless,” you laugh, “if you wanted to get fucked so badly, all you had to do was ask, you know? Mommy would’ve taken care of it for you.”

“Mommy?” he scoffs, rolling his eyes, “you’re insane.”

Any further insult is cut off with a sharp gasp, eyes shooting open in shock, and you know you’ve found it.

You stroke his prostate with a heavy hand, grinding your fingers into the spongy spot inside of him as he struggles to breathe, back arching deliciously. You can’t help but smirk; you kind of get it now. If this is how tormenting you makes Aizawa feel, then you understand why he was so cruel.

“Fuck,” he chokes on a whine that sends heat down your spine, . Your wrist is beginning to strain, but you can’t bring yourself to care. It’s cute; he’s writhing, his hips seeking the stimulation he was previously avoiding as he moans openly, loudly. His cock is an angry purple, pre pooling on his stomach from where it’s leaking. He looks like he’s close, eyes beginning to roll back when you pull your fingers out, laughing as you ruin his orgasm for the second time.

“Please,” he’s breathless, a betrayed look on his face as his hips rock on nothing, desperate to cum.

“Begging already? We haven’t even gotten started yet!”

You reach over into the plastic bag, pulling out the dildo and harness. You can clearly see the fear on his face this time as he moves to sit up, the fog of pleasure clearing quickly.

“Wait,” panic sets in his voice yet again. If you were him, you would be scared too; the toy is thicker than the two fingers you used, something you chose purposefully. You stand and slip on the harness, ignoring his attempts to reason with you.

“What’s wrong? I thought I didn’t know what I was doing?” you ask innocently, forcing your hips between his legs and drizzling some lube on the toy, warming it up with your palm.

“That’s the fucking problem, you idiot, you don’t,” he seethes, pulling on the restraints again, “It won’t fit, and you’re not sending me to the hospital.”

“Exactly, I won’t send you to the hospital. Mommy’s gonna take good care of you,” you coo, settling between his legs.

“Just let me go,” it’s the first genuine plea you’ve heard from him, the sincerity pulling your attention to his eyes where you see a look you can’t quite place. He looks… afraid? Remorseful? It’s enough to give you pause, equal parts consideration and schadenfreude. You settle for leaning forward and placing an uncharacteristically saccharine kiss on his forehead, your humanity getting the best of you.

“All you have to do is relax, okay?” you whisper, resting the tip of the toy against his entrance. He shuts his eyes in anticipation, resigned to his fate, and you push in gently, watching his hole swallow the silicone. The way Aizawa contorts, back bowed to scoot away from the pressure of the toy is salacious, drawing a moan from deep within your chest. He can’t get far due to the restraints, and he lets out a soft sob at the stretch of the toy, face scrunched tight. You push slowly until you bottom out, your hips pressed firmly against his, grinding in small circles to alleviate your own ache. He exhales shakily, unaware that he was holding his breath.

“See, it’s not so bad right?” you soothe, rubbing your thumb against his hip soothingly. “You should be grateful; I’m so much nicer than you are.”

“Fuck you,” it comes out weaker than intended, his voice strained as he tries to adjust to the girth of the toy. 

You pull out slowly, experimentally, watching his stomach clench from the sensation of silicone caressing his insides. His dick gives an interested twitch, despite his demeanor, and that’s the invitation you need to start moving. It’s a little awkward at first, but your enthusiasm combined with the size of the toy more than makes up for your inexperience. He’s breathless, still uncomfortable, but you can see his body slowly relax as he tries to make sense of the sensations coursing through his body.

“You like this, don’t you?” you dig, eyes transfixed on his face, “Is that why you're so mean to me? You strut around like an asshole, just to hide the fact that you’re just a little bitch?”

You focus on angling your hips, searching for his prostate again, and when you find it, you commit to fucking him. He’s loud, stray tears sliding down his face as his body struggles to comprehend both the pain of the stretch and pleasure of the abuse.

“Fuck, you’re cute like this,” you sigh, “you’re meant for this, aren’t you? Meant to get your ass bred by your Mommy? You’d be so much more tolerable if you were sweet like this all of the time.”

His dick jerks violently but he shakes his head with a weak ‘no’, too lost in the sensation to retort any further. You’re soaked by now, the pressure of the toy on your end combined with the power trip pushing you to the edge. It takes all of your self-control, but you suddenly stop, unwilling to let yourself finish so quickly; there’s still unfinished business here.

“Tell me I’m pretty,” it comes out before you can even really think about it, but the words hang heavily in the air.

“Huh?”

“You’re never nice to me, so if you want me to even consider letting you cum, you better start kissing up.”

He hesitates, but when you shift slightly and the blunt head of the toy rubs against his prostate, he changes his tune very quickly.

“Fuck- you’re cute, ‘s the reason why I’m mean to you. So cute when you’re about to cry-” you give him a particularly hard slap on his ass and he winces, muttering a quick apology.

“You’re pretty even when I’m not fucking you, too,” is all you get, but it’s the first genuine compliment you’ve gotten out of the asshole since you’ve met him, and your heart soars. He’s awful and mean and evil but the simple statement is enough for you.

“I’ll let you cum if you beg for it,” you grunt, rutting your hips enthusiastically. You’re close, but you refuse to finish first. He’s needy, thanks to being edged twice, and he’s unable to resist your promise.

“Please, fuck, please let me cum,” he whimpers, voice wet and eyes watery.

“Please what?”

“Mommy! Fuck, please mommy, just let me cum, it hurts, fuck, please,” he babbles, and it’s enough for you. You wrap your hand around his cock and stroke it firmly, hips speeding up as you chase your own release. It’s quick- he finishes almost embarrassingly fast, and the whorish wail that rips from his throat sends you right over the edge, your vision blurring at the corners as you stay trained on his face, obscene and submissive.

It’s quiet after you stop, both of you catching your breath. You pull out slowly, watching the way his hole flutters and you giggle, your body and ego fully satiated. You look back to his face; he looks more fucked out than you’ve ever seen him, almost like he’s about to fall back asleep.

“Can we call it a truce?” You break the silence, grinning as he cracks open an eye to give you a scalding look.

“Fuck. You.”

[jaeminscoffee]

Enough. (m.)

Pairing- Jung Jaehyun x reader

Genre- Smut, Fluff towards the end.

Word count - 3k

Warnings- Harddom!Jaehyun, Sub!reader,Rough sex (are we shocked), manhandling, degradation, choking, overstimulation, strong language, hair pulling, spanking, slight size kink, dirty talking, Jaehyun is pissed.

(just realised this is the longest warning list I've made so like, buckle up, you're up for a really messy long ass ride)

Summary- Jaehyun had had enough of your behavior.

(Minors kindly try not to interact with my blogs!)

Jaehyun's life has been going at a very fast pace with the ongoing promotion of an ordeal according to you. 

Don't take it the wrong way, you were extremely happy that your boyfriend's getting promoted, but he's so caught up with it that you get the minimal attention from his side. Or so you think. 

Jaehyun is an extremely kind lad, but is an extreme disciplinarian. He is also highly patient, which you take a little too much advantage of. 

Take for example this one time the past week, Jaehyun had left early for a really important meeting when you'd decided to spam him with pictures, well not so moral. He wouldn't have minded if it was when he was in his cabin, but thinking it would've been something important seeing how many messages he was getting, he opened your texts, a picture of you in his favourite pair of lingerie took up it's place on his screen, and his fucking colleague got a glimpse of it. 

Strike one. 

Then came this time when he was busy completing a very crucial project, you texted him in bold "I'm in trouble' making Jaehyun's heart jump right up his throat. When he'd called you the very second, all he heard right after you had picked up the call was you whimpering, gasping his name slowly. You were touching yourself without his permission. 

Strike two. 

He could deal with all of that, stuffing the madness deep within him to not give you what you want, wanting to show you that your petty ways of grabbing his attention won't work on him. That just riled you up more. It got you even worked up seeing him walk in and out of the house with nothing but content on his face, no matter what you'd do. Want to scream at him? Well go ahead, Hm, silent treatment? Nah. Nagging should do the work, right? Wrong.

It's when he arrived home, all happy with the news he'd received at work when you decided to act up. 

"I'm home!" Jaehyun screamed from the entrance, loosening his tie, making his way towards where you were, the bedroom. 

"Babe! I've got good news--!" he got cut off, by you slamming yourself right onto him, holding him by the wall beside your bedroom door. 

"Have you been ignoring me?" you ask, voice gruff. Jaehyun's face seemed to contort, pondering when he'd done so. 

"No?" He answered, mostly questioning himself. You huff out, turning towards the side as the neediness from being lonely and untouched for over weeks got the best of you. You look at him, dead in the eyes, "Yes you did. You picked up none of my calls.-" he cut you off with his reasoning "I was in a meeting baby-" you cut him off this time, "And you ignored each one of my texts. You saw them, but didn't bother replying." 

Jaehyun let his eyes roam around your figure, draped in his black shirt, hair left free, face red from anger, chest heaving. He smiled knowingly. 

"I was busy, now would you be an absolute sweetheart and make me something while I go freshen up?" he ended with a hum, bending down to place a peck on your lips. 

"No." you reply, backing away from his body, walking backwards as you grip at the hem of your shirt, "No?" Jaehyun replied, now standing comfortably by the wall you'd shoved him onto with his arms folded over his chest. 

"No." you confirm, "Alright suit yourself." he shrugged, still standing there to see what you've got up your sleeves as you proceed to walk backwards in the direction of your closet. 

"I'm going over to Johnny's. At least he'd pay me more attention." you mumbled the last part, wantedly a little louder for him to hear. 

Jaehyun furrowed his eyebrows, he'd just gotten home. "And why would you do that?" he asked, stepping away from the wall, taking one small step towards you. "Because he knows how to give me attention and when." you reply loud and clear. Jaehyun visibly stiffened. 

You and Johnny had a history, you met Jaehyun through him, in fact. You guys were what your friends called friends with benefits. You'd cut off those ties and resorted to being best friends after getting into a relationship, of course. But Jaehyun always seemed hesitant to let you be alone with Johnny, but still gave you the freedom to do so. 

"What did you just say?" his voice gravelly as he took another step towards you. Jaehyun's sudden shift of demeanor makes you flinch the slightest. "I said, he knows how to give me attention and when, better than you for that matter."

Now that was strike three. 

Jaehyun's eyes darkened, as his built figure took long, fast strides towards you, scaring you a little, knowing you'd crossed the line. He stopped just an inch in front of you making you crane your neck to look at him, him lowering himself to be eye level with you. 

"What are you trying to get on, Y/n." Jaehyun asked, the pent up frustration of over time finally getting to him, gripping your shoulders in a tight hold making you hiss under your breath. 

Clearing your throat, you look down, then back up to his eyes, "Literally nothing. All I said was I'm going out to Johnnys" you stare at him with the same intensity his gaze held. Jaehyun's eyes narrowed, "Give me the exact reason." he asked, voice multiple octaves low. "Exact reason?" he hummed, "Well because my boyfriend won't fucking touch me so i have to seek help from my fuck buddy. There, happy?" 

You blink and next second you feel yourself being thrown down onto the sheets, earning a short gasp from your mouth. "Starting to whore around again, huh?" he spoke through gritted teeth, stripping out of his work suit, his biceps bulging as he removed his tie, his wrist watch, discarding only the watch by the side table, tie still in hand. 

"Well, whores get treated like whores." Jaehyun looked at you the way one would look at their prey. You whimper, his words, his aura, his voice all going straight to your core, sending shocks all throughout your body. "Strip." he ordered, standing tall, tie wrapped around his palm, arms folded over his chest, shifting his weight from one leg to another, body still adorning his white formal shirt and the black office pants, shirt tucked in making him look ethereal. 

You immediately comply, having waited for this all about the week, the only real material to remove being his shirt that had lifted up your thigh from how he'd thrown you onto the bed. 

You sit on your knees waiting for his next command. Jaehyun let out a throaty chuckle at your innocent gaze. He walked over towards the edge of the bed, gesturing with his hands for you to come over. You crawl over to him, sitting on your knees once again. You see him unwrap the tie and hold it in one hand, the other reaching out, "Give me your hands." he said in a throaty voice. You hesitate to do so, not wanting to be snatched of your freedom to touch him. 

You look at him with the most appealing, seductive look you could muster, trying to change his mind, all Jaehyun did was stare at you, boredom visible in his eyes. He waited, raising his eyebrows as you looked down at your hands that were resting on the bare flesh of your thigh. Jaehyun clicked his tongue, clearly annoyed, he took hold of your hands in a tight grip, "I don't like repeating myself, baby" he fumed, placing the silk clothing around your wrist, wrapping it multiple time before tying a knot tight enough to leave a bruise, making you wince, "And you know that." with one last tug at the knot, he backed away. 

Jaehyun removed his shirt, ripping it basically and all you could do was stare at him with lust oozing out of your eyes. At the sight of your boyfriends toned torso, you let out a silent moan, reaching your hands down between your thighs with your now tied up wrist, trying to soothe the aching. "Touch yourself and you won't even be allowed to fucking come." He growled, discarding the belt and his shirt, the only clothing on his body being his pants. You flinch at the tone of his voice, subtly brushing the tip of your finger on your clit, removing it immediately at his words. 

"Good. At least you know who does what here." Jaehyun exclaimed with voice dripping dominance, walking towards the bed once again and onto the bed, sitting the same way as you, still being taller. He trailed his hands up from your stomach, through the valley of your chest, and towards your neck, wrapping the elegant digits around the muscle, applying pressure, pushing you down onto the mattress. 

You look at him eyes wide, as the pressure increases, "Tell me, princess. Why have you been acting up lately?" Jaehyun inquired, hovering over your body, his broad shoulders covering you almost fully, the feeling of being powerless making your essence drip down onto the sheets 

"Answer me, bitch." he raised his voice, grip tightening around your neck, "J-jae-" you tap his hands, trying to let him know the pressure was too much. He didn't seem bothered though, until you frantically tried your hardest to gather as much oxygen as you could, he loosened just the slightest. 

"I-i'm sorry.. " was all you could get out, his eyes roaming all over your face before leaning down and capturing your lips in a rough kiss. Finally having some sort of your skinship with your boyfriend making you feel ecstatic as you allow yourself to slip into your subspace. Jaehyun swiped his tongue across your bottom lip, then biting it hard enough to draw a small amount of blood, making you gasp out loud, him taking advantage of your open mouth, slipping his tongue in. 

The exact moment, without you noticing, his hands had trailed down your body, towards your throbbing core, cupping the heat before shoving two digits straight into your wetness. 

You scream into the kiss, Jaehyun gulping down the sound, pulling away to hear your moans that were so addicting to his ears, the only thing keeping you attached being a string of saliva. 

Jaehyun didn't like it slow, his pace inhumanly fast in thrusting in and out of you, drawing moans after moans from you. 

"Look at you squirming already, tsk." He laughed, looking down at where his fingers disappeared in you, essence splattering each time he pulsed in. 

"J-Jae!" you tug at your wrist, wanting something to hold onto as he kept going, fingers curling in you making you jerk as you feel the tip of his fingers brush against your soft spot. 

With the actions of his skilled fingers, his gaze and the constant taunts, you felt yourself being dragged towards your high, expecting Jaehyun to slow down at the feeling of your wall clenching around his fingers, but all he did was smirk at you, moving downwards and increased the speed of his arms, the other wrapping around your middle to keep you in place as you thrash around, feeling your orgasm rip out of you. 

Jaehyun gave you one last smug look, before lowering himself, capturing your bundle of nerves in his mouth, fingers still going on about wanting to force another orgasm out of you.

You try closing your legs, the action making Jaehyun graze his teeth on your clit, removing his mouth from it right after, only to give your core a slightly rough smack, "Keep it open, baby. You wanted this." he mumbled against your core, vibrations of his voice travelling up your stomach, making your nipples painfully perk up, then resumed sucking and tugging on the sensitive bud. 

"jesus, fuck!" you cry out, not being given the chance to come down from your high, making you shut your eyes tight. 

Jaehyun dragged his fingers out slow, shoving it in with full force, watching you lift your back off the sheets, making the boy chuckle. His fingers fastened, if that was possible, tongue circling the clit, as you feel yourself near your second orgasm. 

"Ah, you're close again. Good, good." he spoke against your south lip, the feeling drawing you straight towards your high, as you feel a tear slip out of your eyes. 

Jaehyun immediately removed his fingers, lapping up the juices sprawling out of you, watching you twitch from being overstimulated. Eating you up clean, he backed away from your burning body, quickly discarding his pants alongside his boxer, chucking it somewhere behind him as you turned towards your side from the slight pain in your abdomen. 

Jaehyun looked at you, all fucked out, boosting his ego up further, as you desperately tried catching your breath. Futile. 

He let himself crawl back up your body, his hands removing the stray hair falling on your face, brushing his fingers through your tangled hair as you let yourself melt at his soft action. Funny, because the next moment, he gripped your roots, pulling you back onto your back making your breath hitch. "I had you come twice in less than 10 minutes, princess. You think Johnny could've done that?" he grunted, his painfully hardened dick now aligned by your entrance, making you squirm away as much as you could, Jaehyun keeping you in place with his hands tangled in your hair.

"Why the fuck are you silent now? Huh? Finally feeling bad for your sorry ass?" he tugged at the roots once again, making you shut your eyes tight at the pain, wanting freedom to move your hands however you want, being restrained by his necktie around your wrist.

Jaehyun dragged his length over your wetness, lubricating it before shoving it in completely, "Good, b-because i rather prefer you moan than use that annoying voice t-to talk about another guy" he grunted, the wetness and your tight walls feeling pleasurable on his member. 

You let out choked moans, letting Jaehyun ram himself inside you, tears continuously flowing down your cheeks. Jaehyun removed his hand from your hair, placing it beside your head instead to balance himself over you as he set a fast pace in going in and out. 

Jaehyun groaned, letting all his anger out by torturing your core, "Ja-jae slow down, I'm sensi-t-tive" you blurt out, mouth wide open. You hear him growl, pulling out of you, instead of saying anything, he flipped you onto your stomach, lifting your hips up in the air, before shoving his length back in. You let out a loud enough scream, clenching around his member, "That h-hurts.. " you cry out, keeping yourself up the best you could with your tied hands. "It should. With how you've been acting, you fucking deserve it." Jaehyun spoke, moving his hips against yours once again. In all honesty, you didn't want him to slow down, the pain not too unbearable, just perfect enough to be extremely pleasurable. 

Busy trying to focus on the feeling of his member moving in and out of your numb walls and trying to control your breath, you fail to notice one of his hands leave your waist, rubbing the flesh of your ass in a circular motion, lifting it up and bringing it down with full force, making you yelp at the sudden contact, "That's for being a fucking slut the entire week" his hands came down again, smacking the exact same spot, "That's for distracting me during work" you moan out, feeling your climax come closer with each smack, "That's for touching yourself." he groaned. 

He rubbed the reddening skin, bringing it back down with all his power, "That's for thinking about Johnny when I'm your fucking boyfriend" he finished, feeling you clench around his member as you reach your high. 

"And now she's coming again, fucking pathetic." he swore, your wetness producing squelching noises each time he pushed in, your overly dripping cunt now simply aching, unable to feel pleasure anymore. 

"J-jae i can't.." you say out in a strained voice, arms giving out as you lean your upper body down onto the mattress completely. "You can take a little more, and you will." he replied, going faster as he felt himself nearing the edge. Thrusts sloppier, Jaehyun reached out forward, gripping your hair once again, making you arch your back in a painful angle, as he held you there. His other hand reached out around your body, rubbing your clit in fast, circular motion, wanting you to come along with him. 

You tug at your wrist again, feeling the material pierce through your skin, making you cry out loud with pain both in your core and your wrist. 

You bite down your lips, feeling Jaehyun halt his hips, seeds coating your wall, the feeling having you experience an intense orgasm. 

He pulled out after emptying himself in you, your cries getting muffled, you feel both your juices drip down your thighs as Jaehyun gently lay you down. 

He took a hold of your hands, removing the tie, wincing at the red bruises, placing soft pecks all over the bruised area, he mumbled out a sorry, to which you just nodded your head. 

Jaehyun moved his body to sleep beside you, placing a kiss on your forehead as he ran his hands up and down your back in a comforting manner, making you calm down, "You okay?" he asked softly, you murmur out a faint yes, snuggling up his chest. 

After minutes of silence, the pain finally reducing the slightest, you ask Jaehyun, "you said something about having a good news..?" you whisper out loud enough for him to hear, eyelids growing heavier. He laughed out at your question, looking down at you, placing his chin on top of your head.

"Oh yeah, i got promoted."

[blackswaneuroparedux]

Patton and Monty at War: Unbelieving the unbearable rivalry.

Monty is trying to steal the show and with the assistance of Divine Destiny [Eisenhower] he may do so.

- General George S. Patton, on the Sicily Campaign, private diaries 16 July 1943

So every week I play my usual game of chess over a glass of wine with one of my neighbours in my Parisian apartment building. He’s a retired army general but remains active as a military historian and speaker. He’s curmudgeonly but one warms to him quickly as he doesn’t suffer fools gladly. He’s not a fan of women in the military but reluctantly concedes he would make an exception for me (besides who else could he play chess with?). We get on really well now because of the Covid lockdown this past year. We often have long discussions about military history and current politics until the bottle of wine is completely drained.

On one occasion he invited me to watch the 1969 classic war film, Patton, about the life of one of America’s greatest iconic World War Two generals, George S. Patton. It’s been years since I’ve seen it and I almost had forgotten how great the movie is with George C. Scott as Patton and Karl Malden as General Omar Bradley. We watched it in English and then discussed many things that came out of the film.

Hollywood and history usually do not mix. It is quite common for  filmmakers to take a historical subject and to distort it for their purposes and to dumb it down for entertainment purposes. In the case of the movie, Patton, there was no real attempt to distort the story of Patton. It was a fantastic and stirring Hollywood movie. Moreover it was an excellent study in character given Oscar worthy heft by the great George C. Scott as the crusty General George S. Patton. Francis Ford Coppola’s script was severely under-rated.

However there remain glaring inaccuracies such as Patton’s opening speech in the movie - admittedly a an iconic bit of cinema - but even this was based on his statements and captured the character of  the man, something even acknowledged by the Generals’ family.

Much  of the details of his role in the defeat of Germany are true. The only real omission was the lack of focus on Patton’s Lorraine Campaign, where he distinguished himself. There are some exaggerations in the movie and some minor distortions such as in the weather-prayer scene. In general,  the movie managed to produce a great overview portrayal of the  character and career of an extraordinary American leader.

The film does accurately relate the leading role played by Patton in the  liberation of Sicily. His daring use of armour was crucial in the defeat of the German army on the island.

However long after the film had ended I did think about one thing that irked me. And this was how the movie seemed to linger on the belief Patton was motivated by the desire to do better than General Montgomery, the victor  at El Alamein. Indeed the film probably reinforced the accepted conventional wisdom that these two driven and ambitious men hated each other.

There was a great personal rivalry between the two men.  They were both driven and wildly ambitious. The movie suggests that the rivalry between Montgomery and Patton was the main feature of the Sicilian Allied campaign and was perhaps a factor in why it ended so quickly with a  decisive Allied victory.

The rivalry was not as intense as the motion  picture suggests and the two men worked together when needed for the  good of the Allied cause.

Born two years apart, both were commissioned within a year of each other  and both were wounded in France in the First World War. Both men  encompassed very different but very valuable characteristics in combat:  Monty-careful and meticulous, Patton-dashing and diplomatic.   Despite  the differences, both generals demonstrated striking similarities:  commitment to their careers, a ruthless egotism, interesting when you  consider neither held superior command. This did not impede their desire  for the limelight and fame in warfare, arrogance and the manipulation  of colleagues in high places to advance their careers.  Both were  machiavellian in their own affairs and self-interested in their own  personal progression.

The great rivalries amongst the Allies that made a real imact were Marshall and Brooke over war policy, Nimitz and MacArthur over resources, Eisenhower and Montgomery over strategy; and then between Percival and MacArthur for incompetence,  Patton and O'Connor for aggressiveness, MacArthur and Clarke for vainglory,  (and possibly  Clarke and Wavell for the stupidity of letting defeated enemies escape),  were the issues that defined the war for the Western allies.

The idea  that a competition between Patton and Montgomery was more important is cute, but naive. I am not even sure where the idea comes from. 

Much is made of the bet between Patton and Montgomery over reaching Palermo in Sicily first, but in practical terms that was the only time in the war that Patton ever appeared on Montgomery's radar.

For the rest  of the war Monty was so much higher up the food chain than Patton that  he was unaware, or disinterested in Patton's opinions. Montgomery  was, by 1944, an experienced general who very successfully fought extensively in both combat and staff roles for 4 years throughout World  War One. (Patton got a combat command for a few weeks when the Germans  were already collapsing.) Montgomery led a division very successfully  through the Battle of France, and a corps through the crucial Battle of  Britain training and rebuilding years. He led an army in combat for two  years, through many successful battles both on defense and in attack.

By  1944 Patton had led a corps for a few months, and an army for a few weeks. For the very brief period of the Sicily compaign they were  theoretically equals in command, but probably only in Patton's mind. Montgomery saw Patton as an enthusiastic if amateurish old man but respected his aggressive boldness. Montgomery saw his HQ 'betting book' as a bit of fun (and was delighted when bet a  B17 by someone who should have known better).

When he and Patton met  and co-ordinated the Sicilian campaign Alexander seemed not interested in co-ordinating, Monty saw Palermo as a similar bit of fun to pursue, no bigger or smaller than the hundreds of other bets in the book.

Patton saw it, as he saw anything relating to his persona, as the most vitally important challenge of his whole life...up until the next one.  Montgomery lost a bet and moved on to the next challenge. Patton won but  didn't. (Or at least that is what bad writers have tried to suggest. I  think he moved straight on to the next challenge anyway.)

That  was the last time Monty and Patton were in direct competition, no matter what revisionists or romantics would say.

The next time Patton was  allowed in the field he was one of half a dozen army commanders in  Monty's Normandy army group, and, familiarly, he did not arrive until  the Germans in Normandy were already collapsing. Very soon afterwards Eisenhower split off Bradley's army group, and Monty had no control, nor much interest, in what Patton was up to thereafter.

The  romantics like to suggest that thereafter Monty railed against Patton's supplies, and that Patton railed against Montgomery's caution. The truth is less foolish for both of them. In fact Montgomery railed  against Eisenhower's broad front strategy regardless of which of the  other sub-commanders was benifitting (to the point of Montgomery making  an offer to serve under Bradley as long as someone got single control to  pursue a single strategy). He railed against the diversion of resources  anywhere not at the main point where a thrust might have achieved early  victory.

Leaving aside whether that victory could have happened,  Montgomery's beef was with Eisenhower first, his appalling chief of supply Lee second, fellow Army Group Commanders who couldn't control the excesses of their subordinates like Bradley (and to a lesser extent) Devers third, and only then with the several army commanders who each tried to do their own thing.

In practical terms Montgomery seemed more appalled by the negative effects of the incompetence of Hodges (1st US Army,) and  the obnoxiousness of General De Gaulle's orders to 'his' army (French First Army), and perhaps even  the ineffectiveness of his own subordinate Crerar  (Canadian 1st army) , than he did by Patton's enthusiasms. There is  hardly a mention of Patton in his diaries through this period, compared  to several comments on Bradley and De Gualle, and endless ones on  Eisenhower.

Patton too is being maligned by the pretense that his  war was taken up with a vain competition with Montgomery. Patton, like  Montgomery, was totally concerned with the main issue of defeating  Germany. But unlike Montgomery, he did not have Brooke  -  the Chief of Imperial General Staff - to rely on for support against  Eisenhower's broad front strategy.

Patton too was convinced that this was the wrong way to go, but to get his version of a thrust (with him at  the front) happening, he had to be a bit more manipulative than Montgomery.

Every word Patton used to wheedle and manipulate  support, or at least a blind eye to what he was doing, was designed to  get more resources from his superiors. Indeed, if he couldn't get them from Eisenhower, he was willing to steal them wherever he could, and  then get Bradley to pretend to not know what he was doing. In this he was quite willing to encourage Bradley's inferiority complex in relation  to Montgomery, and to happily manipulate Bradley into tantrums to get  what they both wanted, but it seems likely that Patton was more  interested in getting his way by making his superiors compete with  Montgomery, than in competing with Montgomery himself.

Patton is  actually a more complex and clever character than the romantics give him credit for. His 'kill them even if they try to surrender' speeches in  Sicily were part of his stage management of troops, not part of his innate personality. HIs 'us against the world' propaganda was more  manipulative, not so much like Bradley's inferiority complex. He wanted to win, and he would use anything to get what he needed to win, even  ramping up his superiors to distrust their allies. But his genuine competitiveness with Montgomery at this stage was less about him and Montgomery, and more about him and how he could maneouvre others to  support him. He would have shown the same level of competitiveness, and  the same willingness to undermine, any competitor at this point, British, French, Russian or even American.

Montgomery on the  other hand only saw Patton as one more junior general syphoning supplies  from an inadequate source. Montgomery was in competition with  Eisenhower for control, and possibly with Bradley for resources. Minor  army commanders in other people's army groups only registered on his horizon if he could get their armies assigned to his army group.

Just for amusement, it might be fun to consider how Montgomery and Patton might have worked together?

Montgomery was notoriously superb to serve under, no matter what your nationality.  British, Australian, New Zealander, South African, Indian, Canadian, French, Polish, and American troops who served under him  were all very happy to do so. So were their generals. Bradley certainly learned more  about being a field commander from a few months of Montgomery's distant mentoring than from anything Eisenhower ever did for him in their much closer relationship.

There is no doubt that Montgomery preferred effective subordinates to ineffective ones, and it seems possible that Patton would have made a preferable subordinate to Crerar or Bradley in his mind.

As for Patton, he would have served anyone who got him what he wanted. Had Montgomery offered him the chance to spearhead the attack into Germany, there is virtually no doubt that Patton would have  jumped at the chance.

Patton was not the racist that Bradley or Eisenhower were, and was happy to have black troops. He was not the American supremacist that Roosevelt or MacArthur were, and worked well with others (as long as they let him have enough lime light).

Had Montgomery been left as land forces commander, there is little doubt that he would have used Patton's aggression in a way that would have  made Patton much happier than Eisenhower's broad front strategy ever allowed.

It is fun to imagine Montgomery as land forces commander using Patton's 3rd Army in conjunction with British 2nd to leapfrog ahead at top speed into Germany. The best British tactics were never the  broad front strategy that the worst American's like Marshall and Eisenhower fancied. They were always the 'hold the enemy, crumble the  enemy, breakthrough the enemy, and pursue with as much force as fast and  far as possible' skills that had worked since the development of  mechanised warfare in 1918. (As demonstrated by the Germans in Poland  and France and Russia, the British and Germans in North Africa, the  Japanese and British in Asia, and the Russians in Eastern Europe.)

Montgomery would have used his traditional two corps up, one back, one resting deployment, adapted to armies, to keep up the momentum. Patton's preferred tactics were almost exactly the same, and he and his 3rd  Army would have fit it like a glove into Montgomery's thrust strategy.

Personally  I think that the limited reality behind their competitiveness paid trumps in Sicily, and I wish that it had been repeated in France. Patton could not have been a worse Army group commander than Bradley was, and would almost certainly have been better.

It is amusing to think of Patton and Montgomery effectively conspiring to destroy the broad front strategy while they got on with winning the war in the best spirit of competition. Although I have a sneaking suspicion that one of Patton's biographers was right to suggest that by 1945 he had suffered a few too many hits on the head, there is little doubt that he would have been almost as valuable to the Allied cause in Bradley's place against Eisenhower's policies directly, as he would have under Montgomery's army  group. That might have been a useful version of rivalry.

[how2skinatiger]

Facts matter and misinformation can have devastating real-world impacts. This is as true in the African bush as it is in the U.S. Capitol. That is why we are deeply concerned when we read overt misinformation about trophy hunting, such as in the opinion pieces by photographer Cyril Christo.

Trophy hunting is an emotive and polarizing issue ripe for misinformation. Much of the discussion on both sides occurs in echo chambers, where falsehoods and half-truths are shared and perpetuated. Misinformation can eventually make its way into policy debates as it has in Congress, the California Legislature, and the UK Parliament. Just as with anti-vaccine falsehoods and climate change denial, these misinformation campaigns must be called out for the significant harm they do. As the scientist Kelvin Peh stated so well: "Truth not only continues to matter; it remains the biggest weapon and shield for all wildlife conservationists and environmental scientists in a world of increasingly wanton, politically-motivated myth-making."

There are many statements in Mr. Christo’s contributions which could be debated, but three central (and common) misconceptions stand out. These are not unique to Mr. Christo’s articles: these misconceptions are commonly spread by anti-trophy hunting campaign groups. Such misinformation must be tackled so that policymakers can be better informed.

The first is the idea that trophy hunting is driving species to extinction. Decades of published, scientific research and field experience show this is demonstrably false. There is not, as far as we can tell, a single species where trophy hunting is listed by the International Union for Conservation of Nature’s (IUCN) Red List as a key threat driving it to extinction. Humane Society International, an organization that campaigns against trophy hunting, listed the top 20 species imported by American trophy hunters (the bulk of international hunters). If that hunting was intensifying decline, it would be a major concern in a world that has lost over two-thirds of its vertebrate wildlife since 1970. However, far from hunting driving those species to extinction, nine of the 20 are increasing in numbers and 6 are stable. Eighteen are ranked as "Least Concern" by the IUCN, with the other two "Near Threatened:" so none are threatened species. For four of the 20, including one of the "Near Threatened" ones, trophy hunting is identified by the IUCN as a positive instrument in their conservation, and is implied for a further three species. None of the 20 have trophy hunting documented as a threat to their populations. These facts matter.

Trophy hunting can be successful at conserving wildlife because it provides the economic incentive to conserve large tracts of wildlife habitat where there are few or no alternative funding sources. This helps maintain species, including lions, which can threaten the lives and livelihoods of rural people. One seminal study documented at least 340 million acres conserved by trophy hunting across sub-Saharan Africa: more land than has been set aside for National Parks, where photo tourism is concentrated. Furthermore, there are clear examples where trophy hunting has benefited the conservation of wildlife, including elephants, lions, rhinos, buffalo, argali and many others. These examples are well documented, including in an IUCN Briefing Paper, the academic literature and a US Congress report. Again, these facts matter. 

By incentivizing the conservation of wildlife habitat and the maintenance of dangerous species, trophy hunting can play an important role in reducing far greater threats such as habitat loss and poaching. This conservation benefit is particularly significant given that IPBES highlighted land use change as the primary driver of massive global biodiversity loss. This is why over 130 scientists and local stakeholders, including Chairs of multiple IUCN Specialist Groups, signed a 2019 letter in Science, warning that banning trophy hunting without viable alternatives ready would imperil biodiversity.

The second theme of the misinformation campaign is the false equivalence between trophy hunting and poaching. Trophy hunting differs from poaching as much as shopping differs from shoplifting. In both cases, the former is legal, regulated and generates wider benefits. Conversely, because poaching is illegal and unregulated, it is often indiscriminate, kills many non-target species and plays a key role in wildlife decline.

Oddly, the "evidence" that has been cited for poaching being linked to trophy hunting is that they can occur in the same area, such as in Tanzania’s Selous Game Reserve, which has undoubtedly suffered severe poaching. But recent data from South Africa’s Kruger National Park, one of the most popular photo tourism destinations in Africa, showed that rhino numbers fell by 67 percent since 2011. Does this mean that "where photo-tourism is allowed, poaching follows?" Should photo-tourism be banned, in Kruger or more widely, especially as most African protected areas maintain wildlife far below carrying capacity, due to threats such as poaching?

The sensible answer is no; whether managed for photo-tourism and/or trophy hunting, most African protected areas are woefully under-funded, so removing either one of those key revenue streams without adequate replacement would only exacerbate those threats. For example, in Tanzania’s Ruaha landscape — internationally important for lions and many other species — it is indeed likely that lions are in decline. However, as with many other landscapes, far more lions around Ruaha are speared, snared and poisoned than are killed by trophy hunters. An exaggerated focus on trophy hunting simply draws attention away from the real threats such as intense human wildlife conflict, or the disempowerment of local people in conservation. This is of real concern.

Clearly, trophy hunting has huge impacts for the individual, and in some cases can negatively impact populations, such as with lions in Hwange or Selous. But in Africa just as in the U.S., the science exists that can, and does, underpin sustainable trophy hunting. This includes age-based adaptive quotas and targeted actions such as quota reductions or time-limited moratoria for some species. Poor governance, including corruption, and poor design of and adherence to regulations, can doubtless have real impacts on wildlife in trophy hunting areas, and the same is true for photo-tourism areas.

The key question however is whether removing trophy hunting in an area would ultimately decrease overall threats. Currently, it is unlikely to be the case. Indiscriminate bans, without better alternatives to replace incentives from high-fee trophy hunting to maintain wildlife and habitat, risk significantly amplifying major threats such as poaching and land conversion.

The third, and crucial, topic where we often see misinformation is around trophy hunting and colonialism. Much of the current conservation model – including land set aside for both photo-tourism and trophy hunting – has deep colonial underpinnings, and this must be understood and acknowledged. But that makes it ever more important that today, the post-colonial decision-making and rights of African countries and communities are respected. Westerners must not continue to externally impose their own ideals upon Africans, such as pushing trophy hunting bans and restrictions, where local communities warn they are directly undermining both successful conservation and human rights.

What is all too rarely recognized is that Africans themselves have long realized the failure of conservation models, and have in many places reversed them. At the core of these new African-invented wildlife conservation models is the principle that legal rights should be given back to local people to sustainably use their wildlife. These rights, the global markets that add so much value to a uniquely African product, and the democratic awakening associated with them should not be undermined because utilization offends people elsewhere. Let the communities that live with wildlife be the ones to decide whether the benefits they receive from trophy hunting are meaningful — as many have. Recently, the Community Leaders Network of Southern Africa made a powerful statement on this very topic. Tired of getting a raw deal, rural African communities are demanding a new deal in which they are shareholders (not disempowered stakeholders) in their own wildlife resource. Thus, externally imposed bans, including import bans, undermine not only the foundations of sustainable wildlife management but also of human rights.

Read more

[luffles424]

Kairos

☼ Pairing: Seokjin x reader

☼ Genre: A/B/O dynamics, college au, omega!reader, Alpha!CEO!Seokjin, s2l, fluff, smut, minor angst (they’re idiots)

☼ Count: 25.6K

☼ Warnings: teasing, marking (+ a little blood), unprotected sex (stay safe kids!), knotting, creampie, multiple orgasms, impreg kink, minor dom/sub undertones, oral (f receiving), fingering, pillow humping, dirty talk, praise kink, heat sex, seokjin is a soft alpha

☼ Summary: kairos καιρός (greek, n.) - the perfect, delicate, crucial moment; the fleeting rightness of time and place that creates the opportune atmosphere for action, words, or movement

When your financial aid falls through for your last year of school, you fear you’ll have to drop out and postpone your degree. Until Taehyung gives you a suggestion to make a lot of money, quick. His idea can’t possibly end well, can it?

☼ a/n: So, guess who’s not dead? Sorry it took so long to get something new out, life’s been... busy. I’ve got other stuff currently in the works and I hopefully won’t take quite so long to put something else out again. Anyway let me know what you think! My ask box is always open ~ 💙💙💙💙

You stared at the letter from your school, reading it for the fifth time and hoping that maybe, just maybe, the words had rearranged, said something different. Anything else. Changed to say something other than there was a problem with your financial aid. That it fell through and that your tuition, the full semester tuition, would be due in just two weeks when classes started. You felt your throat closing up as tears blurred your vision, panic at what you were supposed to do now clawing at your throat and stealing your voice. Distantly, you heard a door down the hall open. 

Seconds later, arms were wrapped around you, the letter falling from your limp hands to lie on the ground innocently, like that piece of paper didn’t just effectively ruin your life. You’re guided to sit on the couch, where you promptly buried your face in their chest, breathing in the comforting scent of vanilla and alpha. A choked sob leaves you and your hands reach up to clutch at their shirt, desperate for some kind of grounding. A hand rubs soothingly at your back as they murmur soft words to you, words that you can’t make out of the rushing noise in your ears, as they wait for you to calm down. Minutes passed and you take a deep shuddering breath, feeling marginally better despite the fact that you felt like your world was crumbling.

“Think you can talk about it now, babe?” 

You sit up a little, scrubbing your hands over your face before looking up at Lisa’s concerned face. You give a small shrug before looking down at your lap. She rubbed your back again. 

“I can call Jimin over if it’s an omega thing and you don’t want to talk to me about it. I know I don’t always get everything and you know I won’t be offended if you need him instead of me.” She offers, tugging her phone from her pocket.

You shake your head. “It’s not. I-” You paused, swallowing back a fresh wave of tears, trying to ignore the panic that threatens to swallow you. “My financial aid fell through... I- I have to have the whole semester paid in two weeks.” You pause to take a deep breath. “Even the payment plan installments are too big for me to afford.” You look at her with watery eyes. “I can’t finish my last year.”

“Oh, honey.” She frowns, voice sounding as wreck as if this were happening to her and not you and fully wraps her arms around you. “We’ll figure something out, I promise. You’re going to graduate with all of us if it’s the last thing we all do.”

You hiccuped a laugh at her proclamation. “You make it sound like you all are going to war for me.”

You feel her shoulders lift in a shrug. “You know we all would.” She murmurs, pressing a soothing kiss to your temple.

The two of you sit on the couch in silence for a while, Lisa’s alpha presence doing wonders in helping to keep you calm and grounded while you try to think of anything you could possibly do to get the money for school. But you come up horribly empty for anything you could do that would suddenly get you that much money. And as the time crawls by, you feel more and more despondent. 

Your pondering, Lisa called it sulking but you maintain that you were spending the time trying to think and solve this, is interrupted by a knock at your door and you shoot Lisa a look, knowing full well that you should’ve known that she was up to something. She had been far too quiet since she’d gotten you to stop crying. She gives you a wink in response and rises to go open it. Seconds later, you’re enveloped in another hug as your house appears to be invaded by the rest of your friends. You chuckle as Jimin rubs his cheek against yours before he’s sitting and pulling you close with an arm around your waist. He maintains a hand on you even as he turns away to direct someone you can’t see from your position. Your other friends trail in, all leaving comforting touches and the comforting blend of their scents on you before migrating elsewhere.

You see Taehyung and Jennie carrying bags into the kitchen after they pass you, Tae ruffling your hair and Jennie swiping a hand across the back of your neck. Jisoo squeezes your shoulder, not breaking conversation with Lisa as they follow the other two to the kitchen. You turn to Jimin, eyebrow raised.

“Did I forget about plans or something?” You question, given the events earlier, you wouldn’t put it past you to have forgotten plans. It certainly didn’t help that you all collectively invaded each other’s apartments on almost a daily basis.

Jimin shakes his head, giving you a little squeeze and you can tell by the way his eyes flit around your face that his instincts are telling him to comfort, so you reach up and grab his hand, twining your fingers together. “Lisa told us what’s going on. We came to cheer you up.” He grins.

You look from him to the bags that you can just make out on the counter, they look suspiciously full of bottles, and back again. “And you’re going to do that, how?” You ask skeptically.

Jimin winks. “Drinking.”

Hours later finds you splayed out on the floor, pleasantly drunk and your mind is blissfully free of any money worries for the moment. Jungkook and Rose had showed up not too long after the others, promptly joining the festivities as Jimin had enthusiastically poured a few shots down each of their throats. He claimed it was in the name of them catching up to everyone else. You suspect he just wanted someone else to take shots with, since everyone already present had switched to mixed drinks after the first couple of shots much to his disappointment, because you catch him sneaking a shot or two for himself. 

Taehyung flops a hand out, hitting the part of you he can reach which ends up being your shin. You giggle, squirming a little so you can look at him. 

He beams at you as he pushes himself up onto an elbow. He pauses for a moment, blinking a few times like he’s trying to focus on something, which you suspect isn’t far off because the world is probably spinning from how quick he sat up. “I know how you can pay your tuition!”

Jimin shoves him and Taehyung collapses back to the floor with a huff, breaking into drunken giggles for a moment as Jimin hisses out, “I already told you that’s a stupid idea.”

Taehyung sticks his tongue out at him once he’s got his giggles under control, though the grin stays firmly in place. “Let her decide that.” He tilts his head so he can look at you again. “It’s the best idea ever. Trust me.” He pauses for dramatic effect, the room quiet as they wait to hear his grand idea and you can hear Jimin mumble something about Taehyung having a death wish. “You can auction off your first time having a heat partner. Any alpha would kill to be your first knot.” He gestures.

Your cheeks instantly flush. That was quite possibly the last thing you had ever expected to have come out of his mouth as an idea. And you’ve known him for a while and he’s had some weird and creative solutions to things before. “Taehyung! I can’t do that!” You instantly protest.

He pouts, gestures growing more animated as he talks. “Why not? It’s literally the perfect plan. You get paid and you get laid. Win win! You said yourself that your heat’s were starting to get worse and you were thinking about taking a partner this next one. Why not make some alpha shell out the big bucks for the honor of giving you your first knot. Alpha’s love that sort of shit.” He looks over to the couch and Jimin’s comment of death wish is starting to make a lot of sense. “Right, Lisa?”

You turn to look at the girl in question too, stifling a laugh at the thoroughly unimpressed look she’s giving Taehyung. “Yeah, Tae. All us alpha’s love exactly that.” She squints at him like she’s contemplating whether it’s worth it to actually get up and you see the fight leave her as she instead chooses to take another long sip of her drink.

He grins, clearly missing the sarcasm and continues like Lisa proved his entire explanation to be true. “Come on. Just think about it. You get to have some awesome sex and you get to finish school.”

“She’s not a prostitute, Taehyung.” Jennie cuts in gently. 

“What?” His face scrunches in confusion, like he’s not talking about you selling yourself for money too. “I’m not saying that. Also there’s nothing wrong with sex work. Y/N would just be using what she’s got to her advantage!”

You wave your hand to stop Jennie’s retort, knowing that if you don’t stop this then the claws will come out. You understand her point and you know, as does Taehyung if he weren’t so drunk, that Jennie’s words just aren’t coming out the way she intends them to and you know both are too drunk to understand what the other is saying right now. “Jennie it’s fine. I didn’t think that’s quite what he meant. And Tae, I’m not going to sell myself just so I can finish school.”

Taehyung pouts, arms dropping dejectedly to the floor with a muffled thump. “I’m just saying, it’s an option. You should be open to all options.”

Taehyung lets it drop after that and Jungkook brings out Mario Kart to distract from the suddenly tense atmosphere. You mouth a ‘thank you’ to him and he gives you a sleepy smile. He helps get the game set up before he’s shifting over to you and laying with his head on your thigh. You thread your fingers through his hair, watching as everyone around you suddenly becomes much more animated as their competitiveness is magnified by their drunkenness and you bask in the warmth and love from your friends.

You wake up the next morning with a slight headache and your throat so dry it feels like you swallowed sand. You groan and bury yourself back into your covers, hoping that maybe if you don’t move that you’ll magically feel better. Someone shifts next to you and you instinctively shift closer to the warmth, humming contentedly when Jimin’s bright citrusy scent washes over you beneath the covers. Jimin’s arm wraps around you immediately as you snuggle into his chest, eyes slipping closed again as you think back to your friends suggestions from the night before, knowing you’re going to have to decide on one of them, or maybe all of them since you need so much money. Taehyung’s idea is the first thing that comes to mind and while you try to ignore it in favor of thinking of other ideas, it keeps coming back. You know it’s a bad idea, you know your friends would never fully approve, you’re still slightly unsure how to feel about the idea of doing something like selling sex to a stranger and the possible problems that might arise from that. Instead you purse your lips, shifting even closer to Jimin. 

“Jimin?” You whisper, hoping it’s loud enough to wake him up. He hums in response, rubbing his face into your pillow, but otherwise makes no indication that he’s awake. You giggle at how adorable it is. “Jimin.”

His eye cracks open, squinting at you. “What?” His voice is raspy and his arm tightens around you. 

Your arms come up, hands fidgeting nervously with his shirt as your eyes slip down because you don’t think you can ask this and look him in the eye. “Do you think I could really make enough money selling off the opportunity for someone to be my first knot?”

You feel Jimin tense beneath your hands and you refuse to look up. You don’t know what you’ll see, but you know you wouldn’t be able to handle whatever look it is, you’re in a much to precariously emotional place right now. 

“Y/N, please don’t tell me you’re actually considering Taehyung’s harebrained scheme to make money, are you?”

You swallow. You don’t want to admit that his idea seems like the best way to make the most money quickly. That you think it might be your only chance to pay for school. That a little part of you maybe likes the idea of a bunch of alpha’s fighting for you with their money. 

Jimin tilts your chin up gently, forcing you to look at him. He studies your face for a moment before he sighs. “You’ve already decided.”

Your cheeks flush but you shoot him an indignant look. “I have not! I wanted your opinion. You’re the only other omega I know well. Tae’s just a beta, he doesn’t really fully understand a heat, no matter how much he helps you out.”

Jimin hugs you close, stroking your hair and you feel yourself deflate a little. “I think that, whatever you decide is the right choice and I will be behind you 100%. I think the concept is dumb, but the idea of alpha’s fighting for you is actually pretty amusing.” He pauses before continuing, pressing his grin to your forehead. “Okay, no I’ve changed my mind. Please do this. I want to see those dumb brutes throw their money at you for something as silly as being your first heat partner when you were thinking about giving it to some alpha on campus for free.” He pulls back and his grin is full of mischief. “Take em for all they’re worth.”

You snort at that. “I don’t think anyone will pay that much for it. Hopefully it’s just enough to help with school.”

And so that’s how you find yourself sat at your laptop, Jimin practically glued to your side as you work to create a website for this. Jimin tries to be helpful, but you both are lacking in the skill department for building something quite like this. After a half hour of struggling, Jimin smacks your arm. 

You rub the spot as you glare at him. “Um, ow? What was that for?”

“We’re so dumb.” He rolls his eyes and pulls his phone out. “Why are we not calling Rose to come help with this? You know, since she’s a computer science major and this is literally what she’s good at.”

You blink at him, a little dumbfounded. You really should have thought of that in the first place before deciding you were fully capable to build a website this complicated. You pause though, fear of her judgement when she finds out what the site is for creeping up. Jimin must see the hesitation on your face because his expression softens and he sets his phone on the coffee table.

“We don’t have to. I’m sure with enough time… and googling, we can figure it out. But you know Rose loves you and wouldn’t judge you. Besides, I’m fairly certain that out of all of us, and after Taehyung, she’d be the most likely to start up a job as a camgirl. Easy money and it’s fun and you get men groveling at your feet? Sign her up.” He laughs.

You chew your lip thoughtfully, Jimin makes a good point and so you nod your assent. He beams, retrieving his phone and tapping away at the screen. Rose shows up 20 minutes later, glancing from Jimin to you then back to give him a thoroughly unimpressed look.

“You said this was an emergency?”

He nods, ushering her to the couch where your laptop resides on the table. “It is an emergency. We desperatly need your help getting money from dumb alphas.” He grins.

She raises an eyebrow before turning to you. “Can you please make sense?”

You laugh, fidgeting as you explain what you want to do and that you don’t know how to do that, but you were hoping that she does and would be willing to help. She looks pensive for a moment and the longer she remains silent, the more you begin to worry that this was the wrong thing to do. But before your thoughts can get too far, she’s reaching out to pluck your laptop off the table, settling it into her lap as she begins to pepper you and Jimin with questions about how you want the sight to look and function. You and Jimin sit on either side of her, watching with wide eyes as your website begins to take shape under her dexterous fingers. 

Four hours later, Rose sets your laptop back onto the coffee table after shifting some of the takeout boxes out of the way. She gestures to the screen grandly.

“You tuition ticket, my lady.” She grins then glances at her watch. “Oh, I gotta go, I had plans with Jisoo tonight.” She gives you a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. “I love you and everything will work out. But text me if you need any help with the website.” She instructs as she rises and leaves. 

Your nerves start to creep in as you stare at the screen, wondering if this will even work or if you’re just giving yourself false hope, this could all blow up in your face or you could get no one to bid. And suddenly this all seems like a really bad idea, the fear of rejection suddenly much worse. Jimin seems to sense your thoughts and wraps his arms around your middle, chin resting on your shoulder. 

“You got this babe. It looks perfect.”

“Are you sure? Should I change the wording? Or maybe add different pictures?” You fidget and Jimin grabs your hands, giving them a gentle squeeze. 

“Nope. It looks great. The pictures are great, not surprising since they’re ones that Tae took.” He takes your hand, moving the mouse to the button that makes the website live. He holds your finger above the button. “Ready?”

You squeeze your eyes closed and nod and Jimin presses your finger to the button. You release a breath, peeking an eye open to see that nothing’s changed on the page. You frown and Jimin laughs.

“You gotta give it some time. It just went live. Don’t worry. The bids’ll start rolling in soon.” He pulls away slightly, closing your laptop. “Now, let’s go get changed cause I require coffee and you need to get away from your computer otherwise you’ll stare obsessively at it and call it a failure before it’s even had a chance to get started.”

You’re awoken the next day by a loud crash from the living room. You groan and push yourself up, debating if it’s really worth it. You decide it’s probably best to go and check it out in the event that it’s something bad, so you shuffle out of your room and down the hall to see what’s going on. You were expecting something broken, maybe the ceiling caved in or a pipe burst, what you don’t expect is to see a fuming Lisa being held back by Jimin and Taehyung cowering behind the couch. He perks up when he catches sight of you before quickly cowering again when Lisa lets out a growl and you wince because it sets your own instincts on edge and it’s not even being directed at you. You can’t imagine how it’s making Taehyung feel with him getting the full force of it and you want to go comfort him as he lets out a low whine. Before you can even speak, let alone move, Lisa speaks. 

“I can’t believe you put such a stupid idea in her head! That is so incredibly dangerous! Do you know what kind of danger you’ve put her in! What the fuck is wrong with you!” She snarls, seeming to have not noticed that you’ve entered the room with how angry she is. 

Jimin rubs her arms soothingly, trying his best to calm the raging alpha. “Lisa, calm down please. Taehyung didn’t force her to do anything.”

Her furious gaze snaps to Jimin and he immediately shrinks at the look. You clear your throat and Lisa looks up, seemingly surprised to see you. Her body goes lax and Jimin tentatively releases her, hands hovering for a moment to test if she’s going to do anything before he’s hurrying around the couch to comfort Taehyung. 

You cross your arms as you stare her down, everything in you telling you to do the opposite, that you want to stop her anger, not make it worse. “Jimin’s right. Taehyung didn’t force me to do anything. And do you really think I wouldn’t check out whoever wins before letting them near me when I’m most vulnerable? I thought you trusted my judgement more than that.” You approach Lisa, taking Jimin’s place and rubbing her arms. “You know I would make a plan. You know I wouldn’t let just anyone get me alone. Don’t blame Taehyung for what I chose to do.” You pause, frowning because you realize you hadn’t even told Lisa about the auction yet. “Wait, how’d you even know I went through with it?”

Her gaze shifts behind you and you follow it to see Taehyung giving you a sheepish grin. “I may have forgotten that Lisa was going to be home this morning and came over to tell you about your bids.” When you raise an eyebrow, he runs a hand through his hair. “I may have yelled the highest bid when I opened the door. And Lisa may have been in the kitchen and heard. And that’s not really something that can be easily explained any other way, so she pretty much knew instantly what I was talking about.”

You bury your face in your hands, embarrassment licking at your face. Leave it to that idiot to tell Lisa in the most inopportune time and way possible. You’d had a whole plan on how to break the news to her gently and in a way that wouldn’t involve Taehyung’s possible murder, you really didn’t want to become an accomplice to that. When you look back up at Taehyung though, he’s grinning at you.

“Your highest bid is $13,000, by the way.”

Your jaw drops and you stare at him before your turning away to go grab your laptop. There’s no way what Taeyhung said was true, this has to be some sort of joke. Pulling up the site, you’re stunned to see that Taehyung’s right. Your current highest bid is sitting at just over 13K. You chew your lip, you can’t believe Taehyung’s dumb idea is actually working. You’d had some doubts, but even when you imagined this working, you never thought it’d work to this extent. Hope bubbles in you as you let out a slightly hysterical laugh as you think about how you might actually get to finish school. 

“You’ve got to hear this.” Seokjin looks up from the files on his desk as Hoseok pushes into his office, followed closely by Namjoon and Yoongi. He’d be irritated if he hadn’t been distracted anyway, something about this day just feeling off, so their intrusion makes for a welcome break. Hoseok flops onto the couch, reading over something on his tablet as the other two take a seat in the adjacent chairs. 

Seokjin waits for Hoseok to elaborate and when he doesn’t he rolls his eyes. “Are you going to tell me or do I need to read your mind?”

Hoseok glares at him before he looks pointedly at the other seat in the little seating area in the office. Seokjin rolls his eyes again before pushing himself up and going to join the others. Once he’s settled, Hoseok finally speaks. 

“So there’s this omega that’s selling her virginity to the highest bidder.” He states, flipping his tablet around to show the article to the others and scrolling to show a picture of the omega in question. 

Yoongi snorts. “She’s pretty, but that’s such a stupid thing to do. Virginity isn’t even real.”

Hoseok shrugs. “Maybe so. But apparently some people think it is. Because her current highest bidder is willing to pay $95,000 to fuck her during her heat.”

All three of them raise their eyebrows in surprise as Hoseok gives the number. 

“No way. You’re making shit up.” Namjoon laughs and Seokjin has to agree, this sounds way too crazy to be a real thing.

Hoseok shakes his head, quickly switching tabs to the omega’s webpage where the current highest bidder is displayed, along with some photos and a little blurb about her and what she’s doing. Seokjin grabs the tablet, reading over the page. 

Hello! My name is Y/N! I’m about to be a senior in college. Well I hopefully will be once I have the money, which is where this page, and one lucky helpful alpha, comes in. I’m an omega and I’ve never taken a heat partner or a knot before. So I’ve decided to auction off the opportunity to be my first in order to help me pay for my last year of school! Even if you can’t or don’t want to bid, thank you just for checking out the page :)

“I’ll give her, she’s brave.” And cute, Seokjin thinks as he hands the tablet back to Hoseok.

Yoongi rolls his eyes with a snort. “Alpha’s are stupid.”

The others all laugh. “Yoongi, you’re an alpha.” Namjoon points out.

Yoongi throws his hands up. “Exactly! I’m dumb as fuck! So is Seokjin. And Hoseok. Namjoon is only half dumb, his genius helps balance out his alpha dumbness. Alpha’s are a stupid breed and I honestly don’t know how we manage to not only survive but somehow be considered the top dogs.”

“I take offense to calling me dumb. If it weren’t for me then you assholes wouldn’t have jobs.” Seokjin glares half heartedly at Yoongi. 

“If it weren’t for your dad, then you wouldn’t have a job either dickhead.” Hoseok snarks.

Namjoon claps to get everyone’s attention. “Okay, enough talk about statuses. We do have actual business to discuss.” He pulls out a few sheets of paper and a notebook out of his bag, spreading them out on the coffee table.

A few days later, Seokjin is waiting in line to order a coffee. This entire week has been weirdly off and Seokjin is about at his wits end with life, most recently his usual, and favorite coffee shop is closed for the foreseeable future due to some piping issues that they’re taking the opportunity to use to renovate. So he’d had to find a new one on the way to work, which is why he stands here now, surrounded by college students because he forgot that his route to work went by one of the nearby universities. 

He debates leaving and just going to the Starbucks in the lobby of his building when a girl at the other end of the counter catches his attention. He observes her for a moment, eyes dragging along her frame, trying to place why she looks so familiar. Then it hits him and he quickly looks away, cheeks heating up. Because that’s Y/N, the omega who’s selling off her virginity to the highest bidder. Hoseok has been keeping them all up to date on how it was going, his last update yesterday before he left Seokjin’s place where they’d all been hanging out. Your virginity was currently going for $166,000. 

Seokjin sneaks another peek at you as you wait for your order, tapping away at your phone screen and headphones firmly in place to block out the chatter around you. He decides that those photos don’t do you justice, you’re far more gorgeous in person and Seokjin has to force himself to turn away or else get caught being a creeper and staring. A drink is slid in front of you and Seokjin catches your smile to the barista before your turning and heading out the door. You breeze past him and your scent invades his senses, it’s warm and spicy, it reminds him of his grandma’s baking at Christmas and he could just sink into it’s comfort. He has to fight the urge to follow after you and scent you. 

He flushes darker as he jerks back to the line, wondering just where that urge had come from, he’s never had that type of visceral reaction to catching a whiff of anyone. It’s so out of the blue for him that it leaves him reeling a little bit. He tries to shake himself out of it, mechanically ordering his drink and moving to the end of the counter where he can still catch bits of it. When he gets his coffee, he leaves quickly, taking a deep breath of fresh air once he gets outside, trying to rid himself of your lingering scent. 

He gets to the office and work quickly distracts him from all thoughts of wanting to bury himself in your intoxicating smell and any interest he may have gained in you. That is until lunch time comes and Hoseok strolls in with his “omega update” as he’s come to call it. Seokjin is quick to correct him today that you have a name and he tries not to think about why he suddenly felt the need to point that out. 

Hoseok blinks at him in surprise. “Okay, here’s the update on Y/N. With just a couple hours left, the highest bid sits at $343,000.” Hoseok turns and leaves abruptly, apparently not in the mood to deal with Seokjin and muttering something about him being a moody alpha today and not wanting to stick around.

Seokjin would normally snap back at a snide comment about him being moody but all he can focus on is you and whoever is the highest bidder, suddenly all he can think about is someone spending your heat with you, someone that’s not him. Before he even realizes what he’s doing, he’s pulled up your website and is staring at the bid button. It taunts him, whispers to him that the unsettled feeling in the pit of his stomach would go away if he just hit it. He swallows and shakes his head, he’s being ridiculous. He’s about to close the tab back out when the highest bid goes up and Seokjin’s skin crawls at the thought of whatever alpha just bid touching you. 

Then before he can overthink it, he’s hitting the bid button himself, quickly adding his information and what his bid is. A little banner congratulates him on becoming the highest bidder and Seokjin sits there feeling smug and satisfied. He nods to himself, pride and happiness oozing from him as he stands to go get lunch, deciding that he’ll apologize to Hoseok and treat him to his favorite as apology for getting snappy with him.

Seokjin has a full schedule of meetings after lunch and being in his element like this, he forgets that the auction ends soon. He only remembers when he’s sat at his desk going through his meeting notes and happens to catch his computer screen out of the corner of his eye, still open to your page. Thoughts of you flit through his mind again and he takes a moment to look over the page. Strictly out of curiosity he tells himself, he’s just curious at all. He freezes, realizing that there’s only 10 minutes left of the auction and he’s no longer the highest bidder. He apparently hasn’t been for a while because the bids have grown by almost $100,000 since he left. 

He panics and watches as another bid comes in and the timer continues to slowly tick down. His thoughts jumbled and his instincts screaming at him to do something, anything to get rid of the possibility of another alpha touching you. He sits frozen for another few seconds before he’s jerking into action and doing the only thing he can think of that makes sense, bidding high enough that no one else can outbid him. He frantically types his bid in, watching the timer until it’s close enough to the end before hitting the button. 

The congratulations banner pops up again and then a few seconds later another banner pops up announcing that the auction is closed and announces that Seokjin’s bid is the winner. Seokjin feels immensely proud of himself for winning, relief washing through him at the knowledge that no other alpha was going to touch you. That is, until the reality of how much money he just bid finally hits him. He stares at his screen, trying to wrap his mind around the fact that he just spent $750,000 on an omega and he can’t think of a single rational reason as to why the fuck he did that. He feels slightly panicked, but at the same time relieved.

His phone rings some time later, knocking him out of his black staring at his screen and the mocking little ‘congratulations’ banner and he blindly reaches out to answer it.

“Hello Mr. Kim! This is Jaehee from your finance advising office. We wanted to verify if this was indeed you trying to send this money since it’s a very large amount.”

Seokjin shakes his head to clear the daze he’s been in. “What’s the amount?”

“$750,000, sir.”

“And what’s the name of the account holder it’s going to?”

There’s the sound of typing for a moment before she responds. “It appears to be going to a Ms. Y/L/N Y/N. Is this an authorized transfer, sir?”

Seokjin swallows. He could say no, there must have been a mistake somewhere, could fix his impulsive decision so easily. His eyes flick back to the screen and he sees the little blurb you’d written explaining why you were even doing this, your smiling face next to it. “Yes, it’s authorized. Send it.”

“Right away sir. Have a good afternoon.” 

With that she hangs up and Seokjin sets the phone back down, still stunned that he’d really done this. He could’ve stopped this, but for some reason it made him feel worse, thoughts of your disappointment when the money didn’t come. He kind of wants to slap himself, Yoongi was right, alpha’s are fucking stupid. Seokjin is contemplating how he can avoid this getting out to the others, because if Hoseok finds out he not only bid but that he won, and that he won with such a high bid, he’ll never hear the end of it. His computer pings with a new email and he idly checks who sent it when your last name catches his attention and he’s trying to open the email as quickly as possible. 

Good afternoon Mr. Kim! This is Y/N. Congratulations on winning the auction and thank you for the very generous bid! I was writing to see when you wanted to meet before my heat to work out the details of how that’ll be spent. My heat is in about a month, but classes start next week so my schedule is going to be a little hectic. I’ve attached my schedule and highlighted some of the best times for me to meet up. Our first meeting will also be supervised by my roommate, who’s also an alpha. She’s very protective and there was no way to talk her out of coming with to verify that you’re not a threat (I’m honestly really sorry she would’ve followed me even if I’d said no so this was the easier way). Anyway, I hope to hear back from you soon! I can’t thank you enough for this.

♥ Y/N

Seokjin can’t help the goofy grin that spreads across his face as he rereads your email. You sound so adorable and he’s already scanning over your schedule to see when he can talk to you in person. He feels skeptical about another alpha coming to the meeting, especially one that is protective of you, but he decides it’s worth it to see you again. It can’t be all that bad.

You’re positive that you’re seeing the computer wrong. There’s no way that number is correct. You rub your eyes as an extra measure, still trying to wrap your head around the number sitting on screen. You refresh your bank page, but the amount now sitting in your account reflects the highest bid. And you’re floored that some alpha seriously just paid you $750,000 to spend your heat with you. You’re honestly surprised that not only Taehyung’s plan work actually worked, but that it worked in such an over the top away.

You hear the others in the living room and you know they’re waiting to find out what the highest bid was. You’d made them swear not to check the website after that first day and so far they’ve all listened to you. But you’re sure that if you take much longer to go out there and tell them the results that they’ll just go check themselves. 

You switch tabs to the bidders information, getting his email and typing up a quick message, try to sound calm and collected and not like you’re literally 2 seconds away from crying from pure joy, and sending it off to him. You double check that you have his name right, because you know your friends will ask when you tell them the amount. With that, you gather your laptop and make your way out to the living room. Taehyung, Jimin, Lisa, and Rose are sitting around talking, stopping the second you enter and you shift awkwardly.

“Okay, so that’s not creepy. Why are you guys making this weird?” You whine. 

Rose snorts. “You just sold off your heat and you wouldn’t let us stay updated on the amount. We want to know. Spill.”

You make a face before stepping up to the coffee table. You set your laptop down, making sure your bank account page is up, then you flip it around so they all can see the screen, which they quickly crowd around to get a look at. There’s a chorus of gasps and then Taehyung is launching himself over the table to tackle you into a hug.

“Holy shit! I told you! Look at you! You’re the rich friend now! You can treat us to dinner!”

You snort and shove his face away from you. “Did you suggest this just so you could get free food out of it?”

Taehyung looks offended. “No! I wanted you to get enough so you can finish the degree you’ve been working so hard for. I didn’t anticipate that amount.”

“So who’s the lucky alpha?” Jimin pipes up, still staring at the screen with wondrous eyes. 

“Um, his name is Kim Seokjin?”

Rose stares at you with wide eyes. “Kim Seokjin?” She repeats and when you nod, she tugs your laptop to her and types something in before turning the screen back towards you. “This Kim Seokjin?”

You blink at the search she’s showing you. The man is gorgeous and if it’s the same Kim Seokjin as the one who bid then you can’t say you’d mind spending your heat with him, he’s certainly a far cry from the creepy old man you had been picturing as being your fate. Jimin is quick to join the two of you on the floor as you all stare at the man on the screen. Taehyung must agree with you because he lets out a whistle as he looks through the photos on screen. 

You shrug. “I’m not sure. I mean, the bidding didn’t get a picture. It was just a name and email and the banking info.” You glance over some of the text on the page. “But I think the company they mention is what his email address used. He must work pretty high up to afford that high of a bid.”

“Um, he owns the company.” Jimin adds, pointing to a line you’d skipped over when reading. He reads and then points to something else. “Aaaaaand his dad apparently owns a whole bunch more. Holy shit, you got yourself a rich rich boy.”

You glance over to Lisa sitting with her arms crossed. When she notices you looking at her, she speaks. “That just means I’m definitely coming with. Those rich CEO boys are always so entitled. He’s got another thing coming.”

You laugh. “Yes, Lisa. I know. I already emailed him and informed him that my very protective alpha roommate would be attending our meeting and that the point was not negotiable.”

She nods her approval then her face softens. “I’m glad you get to finish school now.” Then she smirks. “Taehyung is right though. You’re definitely treating us to dinner. I’ll go call the others.”

She stands, walking away as you protest being made to pay for dinner as the others laugh, you protests falling on deaf ears. 

That night you’re crawling into bed when your phone pings and you grab it from your night stand to see who’s messaging you. A little smile pulls at your lips when you see that Seokjin has responded already. Eager, you muse with a giggle. You settle back against the mattress, opening the email to see what he’s said. 

Hello Y/N. How about we meet tomorrow for lunch? I know a great little cafe we can go to. My treat of course. And I can pay for your friend as well. I’m completely okay with her coming along, I understand the risks you’re going through to do something like this and as an alpha myself, I get where her worry is coming from, so she’s more than welcome to come along. If tomorrow doesn’t work just let me know when you’d like to meet. I look forward to our meeting. And please, just Seokjin is fine. 

You bite your lip, a little thrilled that he seems even more eager to meet you already. You really hope Rose was right about which Kim Seokjin this was. You type out a quick response letting him know that tomorrow works fine and to let you know where the cafe is. Then you text Lisa to let her know that you’ll be meeting Seokjin tomorrow and that he’s even offered to pay for her lunch as well. 

With that, you snuggle under your covers. You lay there, thoughts drifting to how tomorrow might go and you let yourself drift off thinking about plush lips and broad shoulders. 

Lisa’s sat on your bed as you fuss with your outfit, rolling her eyes when she gets fed up with you smoothing out your shirt for the 20th time in 5 minutes. “We’re going to be late at this rate.”

You shoot her a glare before nervously checking your phone for the time, worried that you’ve been too preoccupied to keep to the scheduled time you needed to leave, breathing a little sigh of relief when you see you still have plenty of time. You make a face at Lisa for making you worry and go back to making sure your outfit looked okay. You still are unsure if this isn’t nice enough, the lowcut sweater and jeans are by no means fancy but it’s one of your nicer outfits. You’d looked up the restaurant that Seokjin had sent you and it seemed to be just a casual place, so you assumed this would be fine. You wonder if Seokjin is going to be wearing a suit since he’s coming from work and you decide that maybe you should change so you look more put together.

You move back to your closet, looking through the options. “I want to look nice. What’s wrong with that?”

Lisa smirks a little, standing and walking over to halt your nervous sifting through your closet. “Does this have anything to do with the fact that you might be meeting a certain Mr. Kim Seokjin of BigHit?”

You flush and swat at her hands, turning back to your clothes with the intention of finding something to change into. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I would want to look nice for any alpha who won.” You pout. 

Lisa hums, looking thoroughly unconvinced which makes you pout more. She once again takes your hands, this time using the grip to pull you back in front of the mirror. She leaves you there for a moment to grab a necklace off your dresser before she back behind you to help put it on, not so subtly scenting you as she does so. She gives your shoulders a squeeze when she finished, meeting your gaze in the mirror.

“You look amazing, babe. You’re gonna knock him dead.” She winks. 

You frown, looking over yourself in the mirror. The necklace Lisa chose sits nicely just above your cleavage, naturally drawing anyone’s eyes down and you’d usually sing her praises for helping you tease a guy, except you know she’s still on edge about this, even with her support and joking. Finally you nod, knowing that no matter her reservations, Lisa wouldn’t let you go looking anything less that stunning and you gather up your bag and phone. 

You grin at Lisa. “Let’s go.”

You enter the cafe, glancing nervously around. You realize you hadn’t made a way for you to identify him from the crowd in the event that it wasn’t the Seokjin you thought, hoped, it was. You chew your lip, suddenly feeling even more nervous before you notice a figure nearby stand and turn to you with a bright smile. Your first thought is that he is breathtaking and this must be some kind of bet that he lost cause there’s no feasible reason for this gorgeous alpha to pay such a crazy amount of money just to sleep with you. Then he’s stepping toward you and Lisa and the overwhelming scent of him washes over you and you fight down the whine that threatens to spill. He smells of woodsmoke and comfort and a part of you wants to burrow into it and never leave. It reminds you of campfires with your friends, talking late into the night under the stars and the feeling of home that it reminds you of. 

“Ah, Y/N!” He greets, smile widening as he holds his hand out to you and you meekly take it, still reeling from the effects of his scent, eyes widening in surprise when instead of shaking your hand, he raises it to his lips to brush a soft kiss to your knuckles. “Kim Seokjin. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” He turns to Lisa, who you note also looks a little blindsided and you tuck that information away to tease her about later. “And you must be the alpha roommate and friend, it’s a pleasure to meet you as well…”

He trails off, waiting expectantly for one of you to fill in her name. Lisa recovers first, crossing her arms and letting a little of the alpha power roll off her. “Lisa.” 

Seokjin nods his head in a little bow. “Lisa. Pleasure.” He gestures to the table he’d stood from. “I have a table for us. I figured we could eat and get to know each other a little bit first before we get to the…” He flounders for a second, brows creasing. “Other business.”

He leads you both to the table, pulling the chair next to his out for you but before you can sit, Lisa is sliding into it, shooting Seokjin a look as he quickly school’s the surprise from his face. You’d yell at her for being rude, but save it until the two of you can be alone. Seokjin though, just gives her a smile then moves to the other chair to pull it out for you. You wait a second, half expecting Lisa to switch chairs just to keep you from sitting down and talking to Seokjin and have to fight back the laugh at her switching chairs constantly just to keep Seokjin on his feet and working for this. When she seems content with just being a physical barrier between the two of you, you sit, smiling your thanks to Seokjin as he slides back into his seat. 

The table is silent for a few minutes from a mix of nerves and you all looking over the menu. Well, you and Lisa are looking over the menu, when you sneak a peek at Seokjin, you find him already looking at you, menu untouched in front of him. You flush, eyes darting back to the menu, trying to focus on finding something that you think you could eat with the butterflies currently sitting in your stomach. 

The waiter comes by soon after and you all order. Silence hangs over the table after the waiter leaves, no one knowing what to talk about. You’re busy sorting through your own thoughts for something suitable to say when Lisa speaks up.

“What are your intentions with Y/N?” 

You gasp, smacking her arm. “Lisa! You can’t just ask that!”

She gives you a flat look and you feel a bit like a child being chastised. “Why not? He paid that much for something. Why beat around the bush?” She turns back to Seokjin, eyebrow arched as she waits for him to respond. 

Seokjin takes the question in stride, looking very unruffled and even like he expected it, which given your warning, perhaps he was expecting this. He clears his throat, shifting in his chair before addressing you both. “Well, there’s obviously what the original deal was.” Lisa tenses up, about to respond when Seokjin holds a hand up so he can continue. “But, while I feel like the concept of virginity is… well we’ll just say not very great. I don’t think your first experience should be with a stranger during your heat. So I’m willing to change the deal.”

You glance at Lisa and she looks surprised and you cover your mouth to smother a giggle. Seokjin notices and shoots you a questioning look. Lisa looks back at you and you can hear the unasked question in her eyes. You chew your lip, deciding that Seokjin seems like he might take the truth the best. At least you hope he will, maybe he’ll even still be willing afterward. 

You straighten your back. “So… In all honesty…” You glance down at your hands, taking a deep breath before continuing. “The media reported everything wrong, they got a little carried away, you know how embellished stuff can get when it starts getting passed around like that. My site only said that I’ve never had a heat partner or taken a knot. Everyone just assumed I was a virgin. I’m not, I’ve had sex outside of my heats.”

Lisa’s hand reaches over and she gives your arm a reassuring squeeze, knowing how nervous you were to reveal that. As the seconds tick past, your anxiety kicks up even more and you finally glance up to gauge Seokjin’s reaction to the news. His face is blank, staring at a spot just over your shoulder. The longer he stays silent the more the atmosphere feels like it’s suffocating you. You’re just about to tell Seokjin that you’ll give him his money back because this wasn’t what he was expecting to get but Seokjin’s sudden snort keeps your mouth shut. His hand covers his mouth and you watch as he starts full out laughing. You look to Lisa for help, but she looks just as perplexed by this response as you. 

His laughter finally dies down and he wipes the tears from his eyes as he tries to catch his breath. You clear your throat and Seokjin looks up at you, giving you a smile. “That’s actually incredibly hilarious. I love it. My god, you played the system like a fiddle.”

You open your mouth to say something, but you don’t even have the faintest idea what you should say. 

“My earlier point still stands. We don’t have to go through with this. And you can keep the money.”

“You’d let her keep that much money for nothing in exchange?” Lisa sounds about as incredulous as you feel. Why on earth would he let you keep nearly a million dollars without even getting what he paid for. You suddenly feel self-conscious, wondering if you weren’t living up to whatever expectionations he’d had and he doesn’t want to sleep with you now.

Seokjin shrugs, but doesn’t offer any explanation that particularly helps to calm your spiraling thoughts. “Well, I’d hope we could at least continue talking. But for the laughs alone, you deserve to keep the money. I want you to finish your degree.”

Your food’s arrival interrupts further conversation and you take the small repreve in conversation to mull over your options. You never expected Seokjin to let you keep the money while not spending your heat with you. You assumed he’d want something more for how much he paid. Something more than apparently just friendship. You notice Lisa has finished her food quicker than usual and that she’s now standing. You frown in confusion, about to ask what she’s doing when she addresses you both. 

“I believe I’ve seen enough.” Dread settles in your stomach before she turns to you with a small smile. “He seems like an okay guy. I trust him.” She turns to Seokjin, delivering one final glare along with a threat. “Don’t fuck this up, I will not hesitate to kill you if you hurt her in any way.”

And with that she’s turning and leaving the restaurant. You watch her go, you hadn’t expected her to even approve of Seokjin, let alone leave and give you time to talk to him alone. You face Seokjin again and he’s glowing as he smiles at you.

“I have to say, that was a little unexpected. Not that she doesn’t seem like a lovely person, but I can’t deny that it’s a very big relief to be able to talk to you without fear that she’s about to rip my dick off.”

You giggle. “I don’t think she’d have gone that far. Especially considering I currently have a vested interest in that particular body part.” You wink at him, delighting in the flush that colors his cheeks. “And I’ve been thinking. I’m okay with spending my heat with you, if you want. I’ll leave the decision to you since you seem to be more unsure.” You purse your lips, looking off in thought, hoping you come off as much more collected that how your mind feels. “If not, I’ll probably just find an alpha from school. I know a couple that have expressed interest in the past.”

The growl from the other side of the table surprises you and you blink at Seokjin with wide eyes just in time to see his eyes flash red. Your breath catches and you stop yourself just before you can tilt your head to expose your neck to him. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath and you wonder what caused that kind of reaction. 

When his eyes open again, he looks much calmer. “No, I don’t think that’s necessary. I’ll help you with your heat. You said it’s in a few weeks?”

A thrill runs down your spin when he agrees and you have to school your face to not appear as eager as you feel. You give a little nod. “Yeah. I can send you the exact date it should be.”

Seokjin thinks for a moment before pulling his phone from his pocket and sliding it across the table to you, a new contact screen shining up at you. “Here, give me your number. It’ll be easier to get a hold of me.” He pauses before adding. “In case your heat comes early.”

You nod shyly, inputting your information and sending yourself a text so you have his number too. You slide his phone back across to him and he gives a pleased rumble as he slides it back into his pocket. The two of you talk a little while longer before Seokjin seems to realize how long you’ve been here and apologizes, letting you know that he has a meeting he has to get too. He walks you to your car, looking unsure for a moment.

“Can I give you a hug?” He asks with uncertainty. 

You laugh and open your arms and Seokjin immediately envelopes you in a tight embrace. You don’t miss the way that his cheek drags across your hair and you stifle the laugh at his very unsubtle scenting. You can’t help yourself when you bury your face in his chest, deciding that if he can do it then so can you, feeling a little bit of pride when you finally step back and see the slightly dazed look in his eyes. 

You spend the rest of the night trying to dodge your friends’ teasing after they catch the whiff of Seokjin on you. Teasing you even more when you reveal that you’ll be spending your heat with him. You ignore them, spending most of the night staring at his contact number in your phone and feeling the anticipation building in your gut. You wonder if you’re allowed to text him now or if he only gave you his number in the event that your heat started early, which you give him is a lot more forethought about this than you had. You want to talk more with him, the conversation you’d had with him after Lisa left had been fun and you were eager to continue. Something about him put you at ease, despite never having met him before.

Your worries about texting him turn out not to matter because you wake up the next day to see that he’s texted you and you have to fight down the excited squeal that would definitely wake Lisa, and maybe the neighborhood. This leads to more teasing from your friends because you and Seokjin text a lot in the following days. The two of you text about everything, learning more about each other. You find out that Seokjin has a penchant for making dad jokes and you’re glad you have your phone to hide behind so Seokjin can’t see how hard you laugh every time he makes one. You know he’d be far too pleased with himself if he saw how much you enjoyed them and you find it much more fun to tell him the jokes are bad to see him keep trying to get you to react positively. He also takes the opportunity to ask you a lot of questions regarding your heats, everything from favorite snacks, fruits, drinks, what materials felt best, scents you liked, nothing seemed to be off limits to his questioning. 

When you question why he’s so curious, he sheepishly tells you that he goes into caretaker mode when he has an omega. So he’s been prepping his apartment, after it was decided that his place was better to spend your heat at because it meant that Lisa didn’t have to find somewhere else to stay for a week, stocking up on things you like and things that he knows help. You’re stomach twists, trying not to think about him helping other omegas the way he’s going to help you. You try to push the thoughts away, the jealousy burning your throat when you think about him with someone else. And so you irrationally decided it’s best to ask him how many times he’s done this to have such a system down. 

He doesn’t respond right away and you worry that you’ve crossed some sort of boundary that you didn’t know about. You end up stress cleaning the whole apartment until he finally responds. Telling you that he’s sorry, his friend was having a crisis. He assures you that his system isn’t just his, him and his friends have complied all their experiences together in an attempt to make heats less hard on omegas in their care. Which leads to him telling you about the crisis that had taken his attention. His friend, Yoongi, had tagged along to a dance class their other friend Hoseok was guest teaching at and now Yoongi is having a crisis over an omega that was in the class. 

You offer to give Yoongi some advice since you’re an omega but Seokjin declines, stating that it’s way funnier to watch the normally cool, collected Min Yoongi turn into a puddle of pining alpha over an omega that ignored him. 

It turns out that Seokjin had good forethought in giving you his number for emergencies, because two days before your heat is suppose to start, you wake up in the middle of the night covered in sweat. Your mind feels hazy and you have no idea what it is that woke you up, first thinking that maybe Lisa had just gotten home, but the silence in your apartment says that’s not true. A shudder wracks your frame and you realize with a small sense of dread that your heat’s come early. 

For a moment, you think about how you haven’t prepared anything for your heat before it hits you that you didn’t prep anything because you have someone else who did that for you. And once the thought of Seokjin is in your head, he’s all you can focus on. Your blankets scratch at your skin and you kick them off as a fresh wave of slick drips from you. 

You pull yourself together just enough to roll to the side to grab your phone off the nightstand, dialing Seokjin’s number with shaky fingers. The call goes to voicemail and you groan, free hand cupping your mound in an attempt to alleviate some of your rising discomfort. You redial and a few rings later he answers. His snappy ‘what’ sends a shiver through you, wanting to roll over and submit to quell the alpha seeping into his tone. 

You whine and Seokjin’s tone changes immediately. “Y/N? What’s wrong?”

You squirm, thighs rubbing together as you try to string together enough sounds to speak. “Heat…”

Seokjin curses. “It came early?” You whine an affirmative. “Shit, okay. Well, you’re obviously in no state to get here so I’ll be over soon okay? I’ll make it all better, little omega.” He coos, voice calm despite how panicky he is feeling. 

You whine and Seokjin hushes you, promising he’ll be there soon, that he just has to grab a few things and he’ll be right over.

Seokjin hangs up the phone, cutting off another whine from you that has his heart constricting as he scrambles out of bed. He stuffs his phone into the pocket of his sweats and takes a second to breath and to try to get his panic to subside so he can think clearly. He has to relax because he has you waiting for him, he’s your only relief and he can’t bare the thought of letting you down. And he knows that he needs to be the calm one, that you’re in no state to be the rational one. He takes another deep breath before moving into action, making a mental list of everything he needs to do before he leaves.

He grabs the first tshirt he finds, pulling a duffle from his closet and stuffing a few changes of comfortable clothes into it along with his wallet and charger. He’s about to leave the room to move onto the things in the kitchen when the pile of linens in the corner catch his eye. He pauses before deciding that taking extra sheets along would probably be smart and along with those he grabs the blanket from his bed, knowing that the scent of him buried in the fibers will be soothing to you, ignoring the thought that it’s the scent of him that will calm you and not just the scent of alpha that’s covering the blanket.

He sets that bag on the kitchen table as he begins digging through the cabinets for the things he’d purchased for you. It takes him a few minutes and when all the snacks and quick meals he’d bought for you are laid out on the counter, he realizes he may have actually bought way more than you could possibly ever eat over the course of your heat. He shakes his head, trying to reason that he was just trying to be prepared and make your first heat with a partner a good experience, pushing aside any other thoughts that try to make themselves known. Instead, he busies himself with packing up as much of the food as he can into the two reusable totes he has hanging near the fridge. 

Those bags join the other one on the table and Seokjin takes a moment to quickly run through his list, trying not to mourn the loss of all the preping he did that’s now going to waste. Deciding he has everything that he might need while there and that if there’s anything else that he absolutely needs can just be ordered for delivery, he gathers up the bags and his keys and quickly makes his way to the elevator to get to the garage. 

Bags safely stowed away in the trunk, he pulls his phone out to shoot a quick email to Yoongi, Hoseok, and Namjoon to let them know that he’s taking his leave early before tucking his phone back into his pocket and getting into the car.

You whine again as Seokjin hangs up. You know he lives across town, you know how long it’ll probably take him to get here even if it’s late and there’s likely to be little traffic. His hanging up has left you in the suffocating silence of your apartment. You debate whether you can try to sleep again until he gets here when you realize that your door is locked and that if you do manage to sleep at all that he’ll have no way to get in. And you can’t guarantee that you’ll be lucid enough later to navigate the house to unlock the door. 

With that thought in mind, you push yourself out of bed, wobbling for a second on unsteady legs before you regain your balance. You shuffle out of your room, grateful that Lisa isn’t home right now because just the lingering scent of her makes walking away from her bedroom difficult. And you’re fairly positive that in your current state, you would’ve just climbed into her bed with her were she here and the thought makes you huff in annoyance, hating the fact that your heat pushes your instincts so far to the surface that you’d climb into bed with your best friend without her consent. 

You manage to make it to the door and get the door unlocked with no problems and you pause to press your forehead to the cool wood, allowing yourself a moment to use the coolness to keep your mind still partially yours. You turn your head, staring longingly at the couch and wanting nothing more than to just collapse on it and wait, but you know Lisa would probably kill you if you spent any part of your heat on the couch. She’ll probably grouse that you got your “heat stink” all over the apartment, knowing that you’re going to spend the day after airing the place out and lighting some candles to make it bearable for her to come back. At least the weather is nice enough to leave the windows open to do so.

With a last burst of effort, you push yourself off the door and make your way back to your room. You stare distastefully at your bed, knowing that the normally comfortable and soft fabric is going to feel irritating against your skin. You sigh, flopping onto your belly, squirming around until you deem yourself as comfortable as you’re going to get. You get a few blissful minutes where you just lay there in silence, almost peaceful enough that you feel yourself starting to drift off to sleep. 

That is until another wave of heat shudders through you. You groan, pressing your thighs together in hopes of getting some relief. When none comes you blindly reach for one of your pillows, propping yourself up slightly and stuffing the pillow between your thighs. You grind against it, moaning at the friction against your sensitive clit. You mindlessly rut against the pillow, slowly growing frustrated when all it does is keep you on edge. 

You lose track of the time, only becoming aware of just how much time has passed when you hear a curse behind you followed quickly be the overwhelming scent of Seokjin and alpha. A fresh gush of slick drips out of you and you don’t even think before pushing your ass further up into the air to present to him, the only thing filling your mind being him. You preen at the sharp inhale you hear from Seokjin, pride that your alpha is reacting so well to you but when you don’t hear him make any move closer you whine.

“Alpha…” You coo, wiggling your butt enticingly. 

Excitement courses through you when you hear him finally step closer, quickly followed by disappointment when instead of stepping behind you and touching you like you want, he walks around the side of the bed to take a seat. You bury your face in your sheets, ignoring the way they scratch at you in favor of using them to muffle your whimpers. Something clicks onto your nightstand and then Seokjin is reaching out tentatively, hand curling around your forearm. 

“Y/N? Where’s Lisa?”

You lean closer to him, shifting enough to bury your face in his thigh to hide the way your face scrunches up at his mention of your friend. “Out with Jisoo.”

Seokjin threads his fingers through your hair, scratching lightly at your scalp. “Did you tell her your heat started?” You shake your head, practically purring at the attention he’s giving you. You feel Seokjin move and you grab his arm before he can withdraw the hand on your head. He chuckles. “Don’t worry, princess. I’m not going anywhere. Can you sit up for me though?”

You shake your head and Seokjin chuckles, free hand landing on your shoulder and gently nudging you. “Princess, I need you to sit up. I know you didn’t take any birth control since this was a surprise so I need you to take it now, but you need to sit up first.”

You grumble but relent to his nudges, sitting back on your knees, moaning when the shift has your core dragging across your pillow. Seokjin’s gaze drops to the pillow, tongue darting out to wet his lips. His hand drops from your shoulder to touch the damp spot you’ve created and he growls. Your hips twitch at the sound, wanting nothing more than to shift forward the few inches separating your soaked core from his hand. He seems to read your thoughts, hands quickly pulling away and then he’s turning slightly to grab something off your nightstand. 

Turning back, he holds the pill in his hand up to your mouth. “Open, princess.” 

You obey, tongue sticking out slightly as he sets the pill onto your tongue and you let the tip drag ever so lightly across the pad of his finger as he withdraws it. His eyes darken but rather than do anything about the lust you see swirling there, he simply holds out a glass of water to you. You frown, taking it from him and taking a sip to swallow your pill. When you try to hand it back, he pushes it back towards you.

“Drink it all first. I need to call Lisa.” He says, reaching for your phone.

You pout, confused by his refusal to cave into what you both want, and more importantly, what he paid a lot of money for. He lifts it encouragingly towards your mouth and you reluctantly take a few more sips. Seemingly pleased, he nods and turns his attention to your phone, tapping at the screen a few times before bringing it up to his ear. 

It rings a few times before a giggling Lisa finally answers. “Y/N! Hey, I thought you’d be asleep by now!”

“Hi, Lisa.” Seokjin stares pointedly at the glass in your hands when he sees you’ve stopped drinking. You make a face at him but drink more of it.

“Seokjin? Why do you have Y/N’s phone? Is she okay? Is something wrong?” Lisa sounds increasingly worried as she asks questions.

“Lisa, calm down. She’s fine.” He glances at the pillow still firmly between your thighs and swallows. “Well as fine as she can be. Look, her heat started early. And it started while she was asleep so I can’t get her back to my place.”

Lisa swears under her breath. “I don’t know if I can find a place for that long. Shit, and I don’t have any spare clothes.”

You drain the last of the water and nudge the glass back towards Seokjin, beginning to grow frustrated with his dismissal of you. He takes it with a wide grin, placing it back onto the nightstand then let’s his hand rub your thigh in silent praise. You hum happily at the soothing contact. 

“Don’t worry, Lisa. You can stay at my place. The deskman knows what you look like so he’ll let you up. The door code is 92324. Some of my spare credit cards are in the top drawer of my desk in my office and you can take one and go buy some clothes so you have something to wear.” Seokjin’s thumb rubs absent circles on the skin of your thigh while rattling off instructions to Lisa.

You squirm closer, finally having enough of Seokjin ignoring you for other things and you decide to do something about it. You reach out, placing your hands on his knees. His gaze flicks to your face then drops to where your hands are slowly creeping up his thighs. His eyes narrow at you.

“What? You can’t be serious, that’s far too much.” Lisa protests. 

You fiddle with the hem of Seokjin’s shirt, smirking when his focus is more on you now and you let your hands slowly drift over to the bulge in his sweats. You see his jaw clench and grin victoriously, knowing that you’re winning.

“It’s fine, Lisa. This was unexpected for all of us.” You rub more at the bulge and Seokjin swiftly gathers both your wrists in one hand and pins them to the pillow. “Look, I need to go. I gave you an option. You’re free to take it or leave it. We’ll let you know when it’s over.” He grits out, abruptly hanging up and tossing your phone with a loud clatter back onto the nightstand. His eyes are dark when he focuses back on you and he yanks you closer by the grip he still has on your wrists. “You are just an impatient little omega, aren’t you princess?”

You whimper, hips pressing against the pillow as you feel your mind go hazy. “Alpha…” You whine.

Seokjin smirks, watching the way your hips twitch against the pillow. His free hand settles on your hip and he starts to guide you in grinding against the pillow. “You’ve made quite the mess of your pillow, princess.” He muses. “But I think we can make it dirtier.”

Your whole body feels like it’s on fire at his words and you’re nodding helplessly at his words, eager for him to finally touch you. 

“I’m going to let your hands go, but you can only touch my thighs, got it?” He waits for your acknowledgment before continuing. “Good girl. I’d hate to have to punish you for disobeying.”

You flush at his praise. He releases your wrists, his other hand joins the first on your hips to better guide your grinding. You moan at the drag of your soaking panties against your clit. Your hands immediately find Seokjin’s thighs, fisting the fabric of his sweats to keep your hands from wandering like you so badly want them too, you want to feel more than just the shifting muscles of his thighs beneath your palms. 

“Alpha… Seokjin, please…” You move faster with Seokjin’s direction. 

Seokjin hums. “What, princess? What do you need?” He coos, giving your hips a squeeze.

You whine, trying to move faster to chase your high, but Seokjin’s grip keeps you going at the pace he wants you to go. “Wanna cum… Please… Let me…” Your head drops back as you pant. “Seokjin…”

“What a good girl you are, asking your alpha’s permission first. I didn’t even have to tell you.” You nod eagerly and Seokjin smiles. “You have been very good considering how long you had to wait.” His hands slip under your shirt and the contact with your skin makes you gasp. “You can cum, princess. But you can only use your pillow to get off.”

His hands slide up to your waist, relinquishing control of your pace back to you. You quickly pick up your pace once he lets you, moaning as you rock faster against your pillow. Seokjin’s hands slide further up, thumbs brushing the bottoms of your breasts. A few more rocks of your hips, the friction of your dampened panties against your clit, combined with Seokjin’s fingers digging into your skin has you, finally, tipping over the edge you’ve been on since you woke up. 

You shudder, gasping Seokjin’s name as your orgasm wracks your frame. You continue to give a few weak grinds as you ride it out until your body relaxes and you would collapse if not for Seokjin’s hands on your ribs holding you up. He chuckles at your sudden bonelessness, carefully shifting you to lay you down then tossing the soaked pillow from the bed. He turns back to you, smiling fondly as he strokes your cheek. 

“Feeling a little better?”

You sigh contentedly, mind feeling less hazy. “Very.” You lay there for a moment, eyes closed and enjoying the small reprieve you’ve gotten. Then you look up at him in alarm. “But wait, what about you?”

Seokjin laughs again, grabbing your hand when you reach out to touch his still very prominent erection. “Don’t worry about me. Trust me, I’ll be fine.”

You pout. “Who said I was worried for you in that scenario?”

Seokjin stretches out beside you, manhandling you around until he can pull you tightly back against him, dick settled firmly against your ass. “Since your sleep was interrupted, I’d highly suggest you get some sleep now while you still can princess. I’ll be here to take care of you when you wake up.” He pauses to give a hard grind against your ass. “And by then, the pill while have kicked in and I can fuck you like you want. Nice and hard, little omega, and fill you up nice and full like you need.”

You whine, slapping playfully at the arm he has wrapped around your waist. “You just said to get some sleep. You’re just going to get me all riled up again.”

Seokjin’s nose drags across your shoulder to your neck as he inhales deeply. “Sorry. You just smell so divine, princess.” His tongue touches your neck and you feel your arousal spark again. “I bet you taste even better than you smell.”

You groan, pushing your as back teasingly. “Seokjin, either let me sleep or fuck me.”

He blows out a frustrated breath. “I can’t fuck you yet. It hasn’t been long enough and it’s not safe.”

You give him a smug smirk over your shoulder. “Then let me sleep.”

He smothers a laugh in your shoulder before he’s standing and grabbing a blanket off the floor and covering you. You’re enveloped in the scent of him and the silk caresses your skin as the fabric settles against you. 

You look over the blanket then up to him. “This isn’t mine.”

“Very perceptive of you. It’s mine and it’s silk. The scent will help you sleep and the silk is because I know cotton gets itchy against your skin while your in heat. I’d change your sheets but you seem comfortable so that’ll have to do for now.” He picks up the glass from the nightstand. “Now get some sleep. I got here in a hurry and so your kitchen is a bit of a mess so I need to go prep that so that it’s easier for me to get to things I need.”

He runs a hand through your hair comfortingly once more before he’s turning and leaving the room. You listen to him move around for a few moments before your exhaustion creeps back in and you find yourself drifting off to sleep surrounded by Seokjin’s scent.

You wake up sometime later, you have no idea how long your body allowed you to rest but it seems intent on making up for the downtime if the fire currently in your veins is anything to go by. Your panties stick to you uncomfortably and you move to try to remove them but a firm weight is settled around your waist. Once you notice the weight, you realize that Seokjin came back at some point and got back into bed with you. You gasp, body burning impossibly hotter and you immediately push your ass back against him, filled with the need to feel him inside you. 

The arm around you tightens as a growl rumbles in his chest, vibrating against your back. You squirm at the sound, you’re fairly certain your eyes probably also flashed golden and you’re a little glad that they’re currently squeezed shut so that he couldn’t see, despite the fact that you’re also facing away. Some bratty part of you that’s struggling to remain doesn’t want him to know just how much he’s already affecting you, but logic is quickly failing you because if it was still functioning, you’d realize that he doesn’t need to see your eyes to know how you’re being affected. Slick drips from you and the tshirt you’re wearing suddenly feels stifling. As you try to fight the shirt off, your flipped onto your back and Seokjin is hovering above you, a sleepy smirk stretching his lips. 

“My, my. Someone’s being naughty, hm? You can’t even properly wake your alpha up? You’ll just grind against him while he sleeps?” 

He pins your arms when you try to reach out for him and you whine. He takes both wrists in one hand, leaving his other hand free to slip under your shirt. You gasp, pushing your body up into his touch and he chuckles, nudging your legs apart with his knee so he can settle between them. 

“Are you going to tell me what you want? Or do I need to punish you?” His voice is tinged with his alpha tone as his hand slides up and cups your breast. 

You blink a few times, trying to clear enough of the haze to respond. You swallow the sudden dryness in your throat. “Please, alpha…”

Seokjin chuckles and the sound makes you shiver. “Mmm, close, princess. Do you wanna try again?” You whine again, hips bucking up to try to get some friction and Seokjin tsks you. “Ah ah. None of that, omega.”

Your core clenches at the reprimand and you bite your lip on another whine. You take a deep breath, regretting it almost instantly when your met with the overwhelming scent of Seokjin’s own arousal. “Alpha, fuck me. Please, please, I need you, need your knot, please.”

Seokjin gives a pleased hum, squeezing your breast once before his hand is sliding down your body and cupping your pussy through your panties. “Much better, princess. Good girl.”

You warm at the praise, hips pressing your pussy further into his hand. He doesn’t pull away this time though, instead he tugs your panties to the side and slips two fingers inside. Your back bows and you instantly clench around him. 

“Please, please more, alpha, Seokjin. Please.” You roll your hips, fucking yourself on his fingers.

He slips another finger in and you moan. He pumps them faster, thrusting in counterpoint to the rolling of your hips. “I think I quite like seeing you so desperate to come, princess. First on your pillow, then on my fingers. Maybe I’ll give you my tongue next. Gotta make sure you’re nice and relaxed for my knot. How does that sound, princess? Want me to eat you out next? I bet you taste even better than you smell. And you smell absolutely intoxicating.”

He hooks his fingers and you gasp when their probing presses against your g-spot. You wriggle your wrists, wanting to touch him. “Seokjin, lemme touch you too, please.” You whine.

He chuckles, but releases your wrists and you bury your hands in his hair, yanking him in for a kiss. He makes a noise of surprise against your mouth, not expecting the touch you wanted to have been a kiss, before he’s kissing you back enthusiastically. His tongue runs along the seam of your lips and you happily open up for him. You groan at the taste of him, hips working faster as Seokjin rubs your clit with his thumb in time with the thrusts of his finger. 

You turn away from the kiss with a gasp and Seokjin uses the opportunity to trail his lips along your jaw and down your neck where he leaves a few nips, though you want far more than just nips on your throat. 

“Come on, princess. Cum for me.” He growls against your neck and it makes heat pool in your belly. 

Seokjin licks a stripe up your neck before biting and sucking a mark onto your neck and that finally pushes you over the edge and you cum with a cry, pussy clenching tightly around Seokjin’s fingers as he continues pumping. 

When the last of the shudders stop, he gingerly removes his fingers, bringing the glistening digits up to his mouth. His eyes darken at how wet they are before he pops them into his mouth and a sound somewhere between a moan and a growl rumbles in his chest. 

“Fuck, I was right. You taste divine.” He refocuses on you and his hands rub at your thighs. “Are you feeling okay, though? Do you need anything?”

You blink at his shift in demeanor, from domineering alpha to caretaker, thoughts now a little clearer thanks to the orgasm and you giggle. “I’d be better if I had your dick already.” You wink.

Seokjin’s eyes flash and he ducks down to kiss you senseless before sitting back with a smug smirk when you just stare at him speechless. His hands grasp the bottom of your shirt, pushing it slowly up your body and you lift your arms to help him tug it off. 

“Fuck, you’re gorgeous.” He murmurs, seemingly distracted by the newly exposed skin. 

He presses a gentle kiss to your lips, then he’s moving further down to dust kisses across your collarbone. A soft sigh leaves you as his plush lips leave a burning path down to your breasts. A hand comes up to palm one while his mouth envelopes your nipple. Fire floods your veins as your heat hits you fully again. You push your hips up but Seokjin is a step ahead and is pinning your hips to the bed before you can so much as raise them more than an inch. 

He lifts his head just enough to speak, breath blowing across your spit slick nipple. “Relax, princess. Your alpha will take care of you, don’t worry.” He soothes, thumbs stroking the skin of your hips. 

You chew your lip, body protesting the thought of waiting for what it needs. You give him a small nod and he coos praises against your skin as slowly works his way down your body until he’s settled between your legs, faced with your soaked panties. You’re torn between hiding from his gaze and shoving your pussy into his face but Seokjin saves you from having to choose by digging his fingers into your thighs and holding them open. 

He nips at your thigh, soothing the sting with his tongue and then he’s giving the same treatment to the other leg. When he’s satisfied with the blooming marks on your skin, he licks at your pussy through your panties, lips wrapping around your clit through the fabric and sucking. 

You swear, burying your hands in his hair and he chuckles. “You’ve absolutely ruined your panties, princess.”

You whine in embarrassment, tugging lightly at his hair. “Don’t tease.”

He chuckles, pressing his tongue teasingly against your clit. “But you look so pretty all flustered and desperate, princess.” He gives another lick. “And I like hearing you beg.”

“Seokjin, please. Please stop teasing. I want your mouth on me. Please, I’ll do anything.”

Seokjin glances up at you, eyebrow raised. “Anything, huh? That’s a dangerous promise, princess.” He glances back down at your panties and licks his lips. “But, you’re in luck. I’m feeling particularly generous right now.”

With that he tugs your panties down and tosses them off the bed. He groans at the sight of your bared pussy and you spread your legs further apart in a bid to entice him to give you what you want. His thumbs brush along your pussy lips before he’s grabbing handfuls of your thighs and pressing his tongue firmly against your clit. 

You chant out yes’s as his tongue traces around your clit, occasionally dipping down to your entrance before returning his attention to your clit. His fingers dig into your skin and you know there will be bruises in the shape of his fingers there later and you revel in that knowledge. Little growls and groans leave him as his mouth works against your pussy and the vibrations send pleasure shooting through you. 

Your hands tighten in his hair when he slips two fingers into you while his plush lips wrap around your clit. He sucks and you cry out, pleasure building so fast after your recent orgasm. 

“Come on princess, I can feel you clenching around my fingers already. Be a good omega and cum for me.” Seokjin murmurs against you before he’s back to sucking on your clit. 

You whimper and he crooks his fingers just right to rub at your sweet spot. He pumps his fingers faster then grazes your clit with his teeth and your orgasm rushes through you. You cry out his name as your release gushes around his fingers. His fingers slow as your moans quiet down until he withdraws them completely, letting his tongue take their place to clean up the mess you’ve made. 

You expect to feel some relief, but Seokjin’s tongue continuing to work has heat spreading through your limbs again and you suddenly don’t feel sated in the least. You feel frantic with need and you know the only thing that’ll make you feel better and so you give his hair a tug as you whine. “Seokjin… want your cock, please.”

He sits up, face shining, as his tongue darts out to lick his lips. He wipes the rest of your release from his face with the back of his hand. His hair is disheveled from your tugging and his lips are swollen and red. He looks unfairly debauched for the fact that he’s still fully dressed and you’ve come multiple times already. When he makes no moves to give you what you want, you decide to just take it. 

Before he can comprehend what’s happening, you’ve pushed him onto his back and planted yourself firmly in his lap. You groan when your pussy drags across the fabric still separating you from his cock. Seokjin halts you from moving further, fingers digging into your hips in warning. 

“Princess.” He growls out and your instincts have you going nearly boneless, baring your neck to him with the overwhelming need to submit. 

You’re flipped onto your back, smothered for a moment in Seokjin’s bulk and scent and you’re positive you could die happy under him. He rears back, nearly tearing his shirt in his haste to get it off of him and your eyes trace along the breadth of his shoulders to his thick neck and down to his chest. His skin is smooth and the muscles that ripple beneath as he moves to shuck his sweats off has you clenching. 

Then your eyes are drawn lower as Seokjin finally gets his sweats off and your mouth floods at the sight of his cock, hard and shiny with precum and so thick that you’re torn between wanting him to shove it down your throat or stuff your pussy so full that you can’t think. Seokjin catches your stare, chuckling as he reaches down to give himself a few pumps, thumb swiping across the plump, red head. 

“See something you like, princess?” He teases.

You tear your gaze from his cock to meet his eyes, nodding dumbly because you’ve been robbed of all words. He smiles, body blanketing you once again as he leans down to capture your lips, cock brushing your pussy as he holds himself above you. You whine, hips tilting to get more of his cock pressed against you. Seokjin groans, hips grinding lazily against your pussy, lips trailing to nip at your neck. 

“Alpha, please…” You pant, reaching up to dig your fingers into the meat of his shoulders. 

He nods against your neck, one hand leaving the bed to reach between the two of you and he positions himself at your entrance, pausing with the head pressed to your hole and pulls back to meet your eyes. “Are you sure?” He swallows and blinks a few times to clear some of the daze. “Once I start-” 

You cut him off, shifting just enough for him to slip an inch into you. You both moan and the stretch of just the head has your desperation rising, the overwhelming need to be mounted clawing at your insides. Seokjin must feel the same because he pauses for only a second longer before he’s slamming fully into you. You gasp, nails digging into his back as he immediately pulls back out just to thrust back in. He buries his face in your neck, breath puffing warm against your skin as he pants harshly with his rough pace. 

“Fuck you’re so wet, princess. You’re such a good girl, a good little omega.” 

You whine as the praises continue to flow from him and he grabs your hips to hitch them higher, manhandling you around into the position that he wants you in. The shift has him hitting you deeper, rubbing your walls in all the right ways and you’re already so close to coming again. Tears gather at the corner of yours eyes and you roll your hips as best you can with his thrusts to get some friction on your clit. 

Nails prick your skin and you gasp, staring slightly wide eyed as Seokjin pulls away from your neck with a devilish smirk. “Now now, princess. I’ve given you so much already, let your alpha has his turn.” He slows his pace and you pout but his smirk just grows. “Besides, I’d much rather you come on my knot.”

His next thrust has your pussy stretching further as his knot begins to form. Your breath hitches as the growing girth stretches your more. 

“Yes, yes, yes, please let me have your knot, please, please.” You beg, body feeling aflame at the promise of what you want most. 

“Yeah?” Seokjin growls, licking up your neck to nip your earlobe. “You want my knot that bad, baby? Want me to knot you and fill you nice and full of my come? Keep you all plugged up so you get pregnant? Fuck… You’d look so amazing all swollen and round with my pups.”

You nod along, words only fueling your desire more. He slams his hips against you one last time before his knot finally grows too large and he settles for grinding as the first pulses of his release fills you. 

“That’s it, baby. Fuck… You’re such a good girl. Taking my knot and cum so so well. Shit, gonna get you all nice and full of pups.” You moan and Seokjin slips one hand down to rub at your clit. “Such a good omega, so good for my pups.” He murmurs and a few circles of his thumb coupled with his knot and cum filling you so delightfully full has you clenching around him as your mouth drops open in a silent scream as you cum. Seokjin groans, lips finding yours for an uncoordinated kiss as you both ride out your orgasms together. 

Your brain finally feel clearer and you enjoy the quiet mingling sounds of both of your breathing. You bask in the blissful feeling of being full and after what feels like hours, but is nothing more than a few minutes, Seokjin is sliding an arm beneath your back, keeping you close as he carefully maneuvers you both so that he’s now on his back and you can curl up on his chest while you wait for his knot to go down. You hum in contentment when his fingers thread through your hair, massaging your scalp. 

“Sleep.” He murmurs, chest vibrating against your cheek and you rub your face against his chest in a sleepy nod, following his advice and your own body’s sudden exhaustion. 

You wake up later, alone in bed, stretching and the delightful soreness has a small smile gracing your lips before you realize that the cause of that soreness is nowhere to be seen. You finally sit up, belatedly realizing that that sticky mess you were expecting is definitely not there. And now that you’re more awake and looking around, you notice that you’re sleeping on different sheets, ones that are definitely not yours. 

You’re about to climb out of bed when you hear footsteps padding down the hall towards your room and a moment later, Seokjin, now back in his boxers, is nudging open the door, carrying a plate of something you can’t quite make out and a glass of water that upon seeing makes you realize how dry your throat feels. You make grabby hands for it immediately and Seokjin blinks in surprise for a second at seeing you awake before he’s chuckling and coming closer, handing you the water once he’s close enough. 

You start guzzling the water, the coolness soothing the roughness you were feeling in your throat. Seokjin tuts, pointedly looking at the glass and how quickly you’re consuming it and you sheepishly slow your swallows. He gently pulls the glass away before you can finish and you pout. He chuckles, setting it and the plate on the nightstand before taking a seat on the bed with his back against the headboard. He gathers you up, situating you in his lap until he’s happy with how you’re sat. 

He grabs the plate and you notice it’s full of fruits and cheeses, all of them your favorites, much to your delight. Your stomach grumbles and Seokjin reaches for one of the slices, holding it to your lips for you to take. You hum happily as the flavor of the fruit mixes perfectly with a taste that you can’t put a name to, just that it’s all Seokjin. 

After a few minutes of silent feeding, Seokjin gives you your water back to finish. You hand the glass back once you’re done, cuddling back into his chest with the intent to nap a little more. 

He nudges you when your eyes start to slip closed, holding another piece of fruit up for you to take. “Eat a little more first, princess. It’s only the first day, who knows when you’ll have another long lull. Best to fill up now. At least so I don’t have to fight you as much later.”

You duck your head in embarrassment, opening your mouth obediently when he presses the fruit to your lips. You try not to think about the fight he’s gonna have to put up with when your heat really kicks in and you don’t want to do anything but sit on his dick. You’re glad the worst of your heat is always fuzzy and you hopefully won’t have to remember the worst of it. 

He feeds you a few more bites before he deems you full enough, then he’s rearranging you both so you’re laying down and he pulls your back flush against his front. His lips press gently to your shoulder. “Sleep now.”

And you don’t have to be told twice before your eyes are drifting shut. 

When you wake up again, you blearily notice that at some point you both have shifted positions. Seokjin’s now on his back and you’re curled into his side, one leg thrown over his and your dripping core pressed to his thigh, soaking his boxers. You grind your hips forward, moaning at the drag of the fabric against your sensitive pussy. 

Seokjin mutters something, shifting slightly, but remains asleep as you rut against him. You bury your face in his chest, taking a deep inhale of his scent before lazily mouthing across his collarbone to his neck. The fire in your belly intensifies and you scramble to climb fully on top of Seokjin, pushing his boxers down just enough to get to his cock and you’re delighted to find that he’s already hard. You wrap a hand around it, giving him a few strokes before positioning it and fully sheathing it within you. 

Seokjin starts awake with a gasp, hands finding your waist immediately even though he doesn’t seem to fully realize what’s happening yet. His eyes fall to you, more precisely where you’re already bouncing on his cock, not even seeming to mind that he’s not fully awake. His grip on you tightens in an effort to pause your riding but you just switch to grinding when he restricts your movements. 

He chuckles. “Fuck, couldn’t even wake me up, princess? Such a needy little omega that you’re just going to take what you need, hm? Not even gonna wake your alpha up to help you?”

You whine, continuing to rock against him. His words fuel your movements, but the meaning to them is lost in the haze. Seokjin chuckles when you ignore him and the sudden loss of his hands has you faltering. You glance at him finally, finding him laying there with his arms tucked under his head, looking the perfect picture of relaxation. When he sees your attention on him, he glances pointedly back to where you’re joined.

“Oh, please. Don’t let me interrupt. Feel free to continue what you were doing. I was just getting comfortable.”

Your protest is on the tip of your tongue, you want to whine about how you want his hands on you but his cock twitches where its buried in you and you lift yourself up just to drop back down on him, head thrown back as you begin to ride him in earnest. Seokjin, to his credit, seems to struggle with his self imposed promise of just sitting back and letting you work if the way his biceps flex is anything to go by. But he stays still, much to your frustration as you continue. 

You quickly grow frustrated though, slamming your hips down one last time before you dig your fingers into his chest and whine. “Alpha, please…”

He grins up at you. “What is it, princess? I thought you didn’t need me.”

You whine again, grinding against him, but shaking your head. “No, no. Need you. Please, Seokjin.”

He chuckles, but to your delight he moves his arms from behind his head and his hands rest warm and heavy against your thighs. “What do you need, princess?” When you don’t respond right away, he gives your thighs a small squeeze. “Tell me what you need. I can’t help my omega if she doesn’t tell me what she needs.”

You shudder, trying to find the words to speak what you need through the fog blanketing your mind. “Knot… Need your knot, please. Please, want it, Seokjin.”

“Yeah? You need it, princess?” He coos.

You nod enthusiastically, gasping when he shifts his legs to get leverage so that he can thrust up into you, his hands on your waist holding you in place. “Yes, yes yes, please, please please. Alpha…”

You feel his knot starting to grow, catching your rim with every thrust and the feeling makes your toes curl. Seokjin’s fingers tighten and he gets a handful more thrusts in before his knot is too large to pull out. You groan and his hands shift to your hips to guide them in grinding on his knot as he did before with your pillow, praises flowing from his lips. When you finally start grinding without his guidance, his lets his hands slide up your body, palming your breasts and rolling your nipples between his fingers. 

“Cum for me baby. Cum on my knot, show me how badly you want my cum and pups.” He growls, pinching your nipples harder. 

A few swivels of your hips has you moaning his name as you cum, pussying squeezing him tight as he pumps you full.

You get flashes of moments over the next few days. You know at one point, Seokjin has to resort to feeding you while you’re knotted because you refuse to not be filled. And even then he still struggles to get you to actually eat the food rather than just sucking on his fingers. Another time you corner him in the kitchen while he’s getting you water. Pawing at his cock and whining when he snatches up both your wrists in one of his hands. Which means your next most logical thought is to drop to your knees and mouth at his cock instead. You get your mouth around him, gag reflex diminished thanks to your heat and you suck on his cock until he starts to shallowing thrust into your mouth. Then his hand tightens around your wrists and you’re being yanked to your feet and bent over the kitchen table. He fucks you hard and fast, hand coming down to quick swats on your ass as he talks about how you’re being awfully naughty. You cry when he knots you that time, Seokjin shushing you, cooing at you and telling you that if you drink your water then he’ll forgive you and you’ll be his good girl again. You’ve never drank a glass of water quicker. 

He tries to get you to shower but your legs don’t want to cooperate for that, and a little part of you wants to be bratty again, so he sighs and draws a bath. Which you make him join you in and results in something soft, that if you were in a different state of mind would probably make your heart ache with how sweet and caring and gentle he was being. Although it ends with water sloshed all over the floor and were you not in heat, you’d feel really bad for the messes he’s been cleaning up. 

Your heat is blessedly shorter than usual with the addition of a partner. Rather than spending a whole week being miserable and horny, it finishes after just 4 and a half days and you wake up feeling far more refreshed than you usually do after your heats. You notice the bed is empty beside you and that your room has been tidied up. Your gut churns with disappointment, tempted to bury your face into the pillow Seokjin had been using just to get another whiff of his scent, but soft singing coming from the kitchen draws your attention.

You slip out of bed, taking a moment to stretch your sore limbs. You foot catches something as you go to step away and you stoop down to examine it. The tshirt is wholly unfamiliar to you and when you hold it up to your nose, humming in content when you realize it’s Seokjin’s and he must have missed it when he was cleaning. You debate for a moment on returning it to him but something in you protests the thought and you tug it on instead and you decide that you’re just going to chalk the feeling up to residual hormones from your heat. You stand and make your way to the kitchen, leaning in the doorway and watching quietly as Seokjin cooks, still singing softly to himself. 

A few minutes pass like this before he speaks. “You just gonna keep creeping in the doorway or come in for breakfast?” He glances back at you to wink before turning back to the pan in front of him. 

You chuckle, moving to the cabinets to gather what you need to set the table. “Maybe I wanted to enjoy the show.” You say as you take a seat at your kitchen table, propping up your chin on your hand to return to watching him.

Seokjin turns, sliding a few pieces of french toast onto a platter that from the glimpse you get is already piled high with it. He brings the plate to the table before going back to the fridge and grabbing a big bowl of fresh cut fruit and a bottle of juice. You look from the literal pile of food to Seokjin with wide eyes. 

“Did I miss something? Are you feeding an army?”

He chuckles, grabbing a few slices of french toast and a couple spoonfuls of fruit, plucking a piece of melon from his plate to eat before finally answering. “No. But this is your first real meal in a few days. Once you start eating you’ll realize just how hungry you are.” 

You pout and want to argue, but the smell of the food is too enticing and so instead you grab some food and start eating, choosing to very pointedly ignore the fact that after the first bite you feel like you could probably eat all the food on the table plus find something to snack on in the fridge. You both eat in silence and you can’t quite tell if it’s a comfortable one or an awkward one. On the one hand, Seokjin’s presence is calming and you feel more relaxed than you have in a long time. But at the same time, you want to speak, but you have to idea what you can talk about with the guy who paid a crazy amount of money to sleep with you during your heat and whose cock you were literally begging for just a few hours ago. And you realize that you don’t even know if he wants to talk about anything. For all you know, this is just lingering alpha protectiveness and once breakfast is over, he’ll gather his things and leave. 

“Not good?” His voice drags you from your musing and you’re quick to shake your head, stuffing another bite into your mouth. 

“No, no. It’s amazing. Just still a little sleepy, I guess.” You half lie.

He watches you for a moment with pursed lips before giving a small nod and going back to his own food. You eat a little faster, deciding that once your finished and clean everything up that you’ll test the waters and see if he maybe wants to stay a little longer and watch a movie. It’s innocuous enough, you can always play it off as just a precaution to make sure your heat is really over. That it has nothing to do with the fact that you really don’t want him to leave. 

With your food finished, you gather up the dishes to take to the sink, beginning to clean up and Seokjin comes over to join, taking the dish towel to begin drying the dishes as you clean and then putting them away. The two of you work in silence, finishing the dishes in no time.

When you finish, Seokjin hands you the towel so you can dry your hands and you both stand in silence, this time it’s definitely awkward. You’re just working up the courage to ask if he’d like to stay, maybe watch a movie or something when he beats you in speaking.

“Well… I guess I should probably get going. I’m sure Lisa would like her own place back.” He rubs at the back of his neck, avoiding your eyes as he speaks and you try really hard not to read into the fact that he won’t look at you now. 

You frown, quickly hiding your disappointment when he glances at you. You give a small nod. “Right, sure of course. I’m sure you’ve got work and stuff too. Company won’t run itself, huh?” You weakly joke.

He chuckles, nodding as he makes his way to the door where you notice his bags are sitting, already packed. You feel a twinge in your chest as you watch him pick them up and slide his shoes on. He turns and hesitates for a second before giving a small smile.

“I hope I gave you a good experience for your first partnered heat.” You give a little nod and his smile grows. He gives a little wave. “It’s been a pleasure, Y/n.”

With that, he’s out the door and you let your smile drop. You sigh, feeling oddly empty with him out of the apartment now. Shaking the thoughts from your head, you move to the windows to open them to start airing the apartment out for Lisa’s return, lighting a couple of candles around the room as well. You enter your bedroom, expecting to have a mess to clean up but Seokjin seems to have thought of everything already, your room clean and tidy and the windows already cracked. You sit on your bed, wondering if it’s always this way after heats, if the sudden loneliness is usual of arrangements like this or if maybe it’s just cause it’s your first time having an alpha during heat. Maybe the attachment you felt is normal and so the way you feel abandoned is too and will pass in a day. At least that’s what you try to reason to yourself as you think about how maybe you should have insisted that Seokjin stay just a little longer. 

You take a deep breath, Seokjin’s scent drifting off the shirt you’re still wearing and it has a weirdly soothing effect on you, calms your thoughts even as they swirl with doubt. You crawl up the bed, tugging the pillow he used over and bury your face in it. Letting his scent lull you to sleep because you know once Lisa gets home that all of your friends are going to flock over to question how it went. 

The week crawls by slowly, classes don’t help either since it’s still early in the semester and so the work load hasn’t particularly picked up yet. You find yourself having an increasingly difficult time sleeping, the only thing that you’ve found that helps is cuddling the pillow that is slowly losing Seokjin’s scent. And you really try not to think about any implications from that. In the last two days you’ve also gotten a headache that refuses to leave no matter what you take and has begun to get worse with time. 

Which is making the attempt to power through movie night incredibly difficult. Even with the lights off, the flashes from the screen cause searing pain and of course it had to be Jungkook’s turn to choose and he of course choose a Marvel movie, full of flashing and loud noises. And since everyone’s seen it already, everyone has made it time to talk and joke around. 

A particularly loud explosion has you squeezing your eyes shut and clenching your teeth. You’re so caught up in willing the pain to stop that you fail to notice the whimper that escapes you or the fact that the room goes dead silent after. A few moments pass before you realize there’s no sound and you squint an eye open to notice that everyone is staring at you with concern, the movie paused in the background. 

Jimin is closest and slides closer instantly, gently setting his hands on you, checking for anything that could’ve caused the noise of distress. Lisa slides closer too from her position on the floor, wrapping her hand around your ankle and you feel a little of the tension and pain bleed away.

Jimin frowns when his preliminary check turns up nothing obvious to have caused a problem. “What’s wrong?” He whispers, seeming to at least gauge that sound is hurting you.

You weakly wave him away. “Just a headache. I’m fine.”

“Again?” Jisoo chimes in from the other end of the couch and Jimin’s frown deepens, as he glances from Jisoo back to you. 

“How long have you had a headache? Do you need something?”

You give a small shake of your head. “It won’t work, it’s fine. It’s just been a couple days. It’s probably just stress. I’ll be fine.” You want him to stop, you don’t want him to probe further, to try to get to the root of the problem. You hope he leaves it at that, believes it’s just stress.

Jimin purses his lips, watching you for a moment before he’s gently tilting your head to get a better look at your face. “You haven’t been sleeping. And you’re losing color.”

You pout at him. “You make it sound like I look like shit.” You attempt to joke, anything to distract him.

Jimin ignores your comment. “How long have you felt like this? Are there any other symptoms that you’re not telling us?”

You squirm uncomfortably under the scrutiny and look down at your lap as you mutter the answers to his questions because you know if you don’t answer then he’ll just keep pressing. “Since last week. It was just hard to sleep at first. Then I was just exhausted all the time like I’d been awake for a long time while doing a lot of hard work. The headaches started a couple days ago.”

Jimin mulls that over. “Before or after your heat?”

You flush, you wish everyone wasn’t around right now. You want to go seek comfort in Seokjin’s shirt and pillow. “After.”

“After Seokjin left?” He clarifies.

He prods you when you don’t respond right away, something uncomfortable churns in your gut at the direction this is going. “Yes. After he left.”

Jimin is ominously quiet and when you glance up, you see him sharing a worried look with Lisa, who shifts closer to rest her cheek on your thigh as Jimin takes hold of your head. “It sounds like you’ve got bond sickness.”

A hysterical laugh bubbles out of you, your mind violently rejecting that idea. “That’s not possible. I don’t have anyone to be bonded with.”

Lisa gives you a reassuring squeeze. “Bond sickness happens when you spend your heat or rut with your mate but don’t complete the bond.”

“If Seokjin was my mate, I think I’d know. And he would too. He wouldn’t have left afterwards.” You hate how pitiful you sound. “This was just some fun for him. It’s not bond sickness.” You try to reason, glancing around the room at your friends who all have varying degrees of pity on their face and you wish even more that he hadn’t done this in front of everyone. Everything feels like it’s too much. You turn back to Jimin, feeling tears beginning to well in your eyes. “It can’t be bond sickness.” It comes out soft, almost in audible. Your hand tightens around Jimin’s. “It can’t be… b-because if it is… Then- then that means I’m not Seokjin’s mate but he’s mine.”

As soon as the words leave your mouth, Lisa’s up off the floor and pulling you into a hug as the tears finally spill over. The rest of your friends move too, crowding around to lend you what comfort they can. 

Seokjin’s glaring at his computer screen, again because that’s all he feels like he can do to the stupid device lately. It refuses to function the way he wants it to. Most of his work has been picked up by others since he’s been back and he drums in fingers against his desk in irritation at the fact that people seem to think he can’t take care of his own company. Agitatedly, he clicks out of his calendar, that sits empty and he knows that it’s wrong but he can’t figure out why it won’t update to say he has something to do today. A soft knock pulls him from his thoughts and he looks up to see Namjoon slip in. He sniffs and turns back to the screen.

“What.” He says shortly.

“I wanted to see how you’re doing.” Namjoon says placidly, completely unphased by Seokjin’s mood and takes a seat across from Seokjin.

Seokjin snorts. “I’m just fine, Namjoon.”

Namjoon raises his eyebrows at his tone as if to emphasize how not true that statement is. Seokjin chooses to ignore him, opening his email to at least appear that he has some work to do, even though his inbox sits woefully empty. “You can’t even look at me. And you never call me Namjoon. Seokjin, I love you man, but what’s going on? You know you can talk to me, talk to any of us.”

Seokjin mulls that over for a minute. He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes and scrubbing his hands over his face, he feels tired, just so tired. He has no idea what the hell is going on with him. When he pulls them away, Namjoon notices too just have tired he looks. “I don’t know, Joon.” He says, so quietly that Namjoon almost misses it. “I don’t know and that terrifies me.”

“Okay, that’s fine. We’ll talk it out and we’ll get this figured out. We’re here for you, Jin.” Seokjin crosses his arms and sits back, waiting for Namjoon to start. “Well, you’ve become increasingly aggressive and irritable since you’ve been back. You snapped at Hobi in a way that hasn’t happened since college and you were both trying to date the same person and your alpha’s both got a little too possessive. You can’t seem to focus on anything and you’ve obviously not been getting much sleep.” He pauses thoughtfully. “Is there anything else we haven’t seen that’s been happening?”

Seokjin rubs idly at his chest before looking down at where his hand sits. He taps it once. “My chest aches. Like… something’s hooked through it and tugging. It just… it aches.” He finishes lamely.

Namjoon nods and mulls everything over for a few moments. “I don’t know if this would be something you want to hear, but it sounds like you’ve got bond sickness.”

Seokjin rolls his eyes, feeling irritation prickle his skin. They all joke with each other, but he didn’t think Namjoon would ever be one for such a cruel joke. “Yeah, Joon, that’s what it is. It’s been 2 weeks. It’s not bond sickness. Good joke, man.”

Namjoon looks unimpressed with his response, stares Seokjin dead in the eyes as he snaps at him. “Kim Seokjin, there is no way you are actually this dense of an alpha.” Seokjin’s eyes widen at Namjoon’s tone. “You’ve been this way since you got back from spending her heat with her. Not only that, but you spent an inordinate amount of money just to make sure no one else could touch her. Which, you’ve also mentioned, you only did after catching her scent at a coffee shop you both happened to be at. You’re a smart man Jin. Put it the fuck together.” Seokjin opens his mouth to respond, anger mounting at Namjoon’s accusations, but Namjoon stands and effectively cuts him off, placing his hands on the edge of the desk and leaning into Seokjin’s face. “Because just think about this, if you’ve been feeling the bond sickness, then do you know who else is? Y/n. And while alphas get irritable and angry with bond sickness, do you know how it turns out for omegas? They get sick.” He pauses before continuing, tone soft and serious. “Then they get really sick.”

Namjoon straightens and turns, pausing at the door. “Fix your shit, Seokjin. Don’t bother coming back to work until you do.” 

“Lisa, please go to class.” You whine, trying to shoo her fretting hands away from you. Ever since the revelation of what was wrong, she’s been practically suffocating you with attention, you think that she thinks if she just gives you enough alpha attention that it’ll help you get better. You don’t have the heart to tell her that that’s not really how bond sickness works. Plus, when she’s not being completely overbearing, the extra companionship from her is nice. 

She frowns, taking in your huddled form on the couch. “You’ve been getting worse. I don’t want to leave you alone.”

“I’ll be fine. Jungkook said he’d be over soon. You’re going to be late.”

Lisa adjusts your blanket one last time, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “Fine. But you message if you need anything at all, got it.”

“Yes, mother.” 

She makes a face at you and you give a weak laugh, knowing how much she hates when you say things like that. Her face softens a little as you shudder and adjust your blanket around you. 

“You’re gonna be late. Go. I’ll be fine.” You pout, looking up at her with puppy dog eyes, trying to get her to go. At least one person in this apartment should be regularly attending classes. You are grateful that Jimin went to the health office to talk to them about what’s happening and managed to get you excused for a little while from having to attend classes. On top of that, after emailing your professors, Taehyung’s been stopping by their offices to pick up or deliver some of the work you manage to get finished.

She huffs. “Alright, alright. Fine. But if Jungkook is even a minute late, you tell me and I will be right back.”

You roll your eyes. “I actually feel sorry for whoever your mate is.”

Lisa pauses in gathering her things to glare at you and you grin back. Lisa’s mate is going to be the most spoiled being on the planet. Lisa slings her bag over her shoulder, coming back over to you to press a kiss to your forehead. 

“I love you. I’ll be back later. Try not to traumatize poor Jungkookie.”

You wave her away, finally turning your attention back to the TV now that Lisa is done with her fretting. You hunker further into your blanket as Lisa finally leaves. You doze off for a while, the tv show you put on doing little to keep your interest when you feel so terrible. And without Lisa here, you don’t have to keep the front up that you feel better than you actually do. You know the sickness will fade and you’ll eventually be fine, if a little dead inside, but that doesn’t stop you from wanting to keep your friends from worrying more about you than they already are. You just wish that you could get to that point. You hate that your friends have to care for you like this, it makes you feel too fragile, like how omega’s use to be viewed. Poor pitiful things that weren’t allowed to do much more than have an alpha’s pups and care for them.

You’re roused from your daze by the door opening and closing and Jungkook’s warm, earthy scent washes over you. You hum in content and he rounds the couch with a grin as he lifts a bag up for you to see. 

“I brought soup.” 

You chuckle. “Thank you Kookie. Lisa made me eat before she left though, so you can put it in the kitchen for now and we can eat it later.”

He nods, taking it and your nearly empty glass from the table to the kitchen. He returns a few moments later with your cup, now refilled, and places it back on the coffee table. He plops down onto the couch next to you, slipping his arms around you to pull you closer to cuddle. You hum in contentment at his warmth, feeling the worst of your fog lift from the closeness.

“What’re we watching?” He murmurs.

You lift a shoulder in half a shrug. “Dunno. Lisa put it on. I’ve been too sleepy to really pay attention. You can put something else on if you want.”

Jungkook shifts, reaching for the remote and starts idly flipping through the channels to find something to watch and you feel your eyes getting heavy again as you listen to his heart beat. Jungkook’s perusing is interrupted by the frantic pounding from someone at your door. He frowns, glancing from the direction of the door to you. 

“Are you expecting anyone?” When you shake your head, Jungkook adjusts you so he can get up. “I’ll be right back then.”

As he makes his way to the door, the knocking starts again and you frown, wondering who could be so insistent. Your friends are all at work or in class, with the exception of Jungkook who’s on babysitting duty. And you and Lisa rarely get unannounced visitors. It’s silent for a moment when Jungkook opens the door and it makes you worry enough to push yourself to your knees to glance over the back of the couch. 

You’re about to call out to Jungkook, ask him what’s going on when Seokjin frantically rounds the corner and you feel like all your breath has been knocked out of you. Seokjin freezes when he sees you, his mouth dropping open, you don’t know if it’s from shock at how you look or if he also feels like all the air in the room has been sucked out. You vaguely register a door closing somewhere, you assume Jungkook must be leaving, but your focus is so taken by Seokjin that the building could fall around you and you wouldn’t notice. 

You take a shuddering breath in and you’re overwhelmed with the scent of Seokjin, potent and real and the lingering scent left on his shirt is nothing compared to the richness of it as it fills the room. You choke on a sob and Seokjin is suddenly moving, crossing the distance between the two of you and enveloping you in a nearly crushing hug, but you can’t find it inside yourself to care how tightly he squeezes. You bury your face in his chest as tears leak from your eyes, feeling lighter and happier than you have in nearly 3 weeks. You hear Seokjin murmuring into your hair where his face is pressed against, but your body is buzzing too much for you to hear what the words are, only able to focus on how comforting the words feel on your frayed mind.

You don’t know how long the two of you stay like that, but eventually Seokjin pulls away. When you make a distressed sound, he strokes your cheek to sooth you.

“Shh, it’s okay. I’m not going anywhere. I just need to see your face.” With that, he finally sits fully on the couch, pulling you into his lap. His hands come up to cup your cheeks, holding you in place as his gaze flits across your face for a few moments, like he’s trying to memorize everything. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, princess.” He coos, pulling your face closer to pepper it with kisses. 

You squeeze you eyes shut, willing yourself to stop crying, but your nerves have been so fried lately that you’re completely convinced that you’ll never stop crying. Seokjin continues to murmur to you, though the words themselves have lost all meaning and you just let the cadance and sound of his voice work as the balm your soul has needed these past few weeks. He pulls you back in and you bury your face back into neck to take in his scent, a small part of you fearful that you may never get to again. 

Eventually, he adjusts your position, drawing your attention to the fact that when you look up, he’s saying your name with an incredibly fond smile.

“What?” You croak.

He chuckles and presses a kiss, two kisses to your cheek before responding. “I’ve been saying your name for a few minutes. You back with me, love?”

Your whole body heats at pet name. “You have?” You question, you can’t tell if he’s teasing or being serious. 

He gives a little nod. “It’s okay. You seemed like you were enjoying yourself so I’m not too upset.” 

The teasing tilt of his lips speaks of so much fondness, you can’t help it when you lean forward to steal a kiss of your own from him. “What were you saying my name for?” You murmur, reluctant to pull back from the kiss. 

“I like saying it. It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard.” He grins.

You nudge him playfully, cheeks heating from a mixture of embarrassment and pleased happiness. “Stop that. That’s gross. What did you want?”

He tightens his arms around you briefly. “We should talk. There’s… kind of a lot that we need to go over huh?”

You sober slightly, but the thought of not touching Seokjin makes you feel physically ill again. You shift, keeping your legs throw over his and both hands wrapped in his. By the look on Seokjin’s face, this seems to be the furthest he’s willing to let you get from himself, not that you’d let yourself get much further from him anyway. 

“We should.” You agree, nerves on edge. You assume, hope, that since he’s here, that he won’t let go of you, that this is meant to be a good talk. That it’ll end the way you want, that you both hopefully want. 

“So… We’re mates.” He begins, stops, seems unsure of what else to go on, but your heart soars at him calling you mates. He seems a little uncomfortable and you find it incredibly endearing that a big powerful alpha and CEO can’t seem to get his feelings out to his mate. You decide to let him suffer a little longer with his stuttering before granting him mercy and taking over the conversation.

“We are. If you want to be. I… certainly wouldn’t be opposed to it.” You give him a shy smile.

Seokjin seems a little blindsided, but he quickly gets past it and his face lights up in a brilliant smile. “Of course. I can’t think of a more perfect girlfriend than you.”

You raise an eyebrow and you can’t help teasing him a little. “Girlfriend, huh?” Seokjin sputters, trying to come up with something but you laugh, putting a hand over his mouth. “I’m teasing. But I’m not going to be your girlfriend unless you ask me properly.”

He pulls you close again, lips barely brushing yours. “Will you,” He pauses, kisses you. “Be my girlfriend?” He finishes, lips still against yours.

You let out a giddy giggle. “Yes, of course, you silly alpha. My silly alpha.”

His thumbs run over your cheeks. “I’m sorry I let you get so sick. I should’ve realized. I shouldn’t have left. I’m so sorry.”

You shush him, putting your hands over his. “Hey, no. It’s just as much my fault as yours. Don’t blame yourself. You couldn’t have known. They were such strange circumstances. It’s okay. I don’t blame you Seokjin.”

He gives you a small grateful smile, like it’s something that’s been truly weighing on him before he seems to realize something and groans, head thumping back against the couch. You’re about to ask what’s wrong when he speaks. “Oh no, this means I just paid nearly a million dollars for a girlfriend. The guys are never going to let this go.” 

You smother your laughter, tapping his nose to get his attention. “Well actually, you paid that much for your mate.” You give a mischievous wink to him. “But I’m sure you can convince her to share all that wealth with you again. Minus whatever she needs for school.”

His eyes darken. “Oh? Do you think she’d be that generous to give some back?”

You nod, tapping your chin thoughtfully. “Of course, if she has you now then she doesn’t really need that much money.”

Seokjin hums and it sends a shiver down your spine. He leans closer and you feel like you’re prey, you feel exhilarated. “And just what do you think I could do to convince her to do something like that, hm?” He purrs in your ear, finishing with a nip to your earlobe. 

You shudder, biting back a moan. “Oh, I’m sure a smart man like you will think of something.” You laugh as you push yourself off his lap and make a dash for your room.

He lets out a noise of surprise before you hear the sound of pursuit and just as you reach your bedroom door, you’re scooped up by him and turned so he can pin your back to the wall. He grabs your thighs to force your legs around his waist and you delight in the press of his cock against you, even with all the layers separating it from where you want him most. You moan, head thumping back against the wall.

“Now now, princess. It’s not very nice to run away from your alpha now is it?” He chastises, breath warm against your neck.

You swallow, squirming to get a little friction and relief, but he pressed his hips more firmly against you, halting your movement. You whine, low and needy. Seokjin nips your neck.

“I believe I asked you something princess. It’s not nice to run away is it?” You shake your head and he nips you again. “Use your words like a good girl.”

“No, it’s not nice, alpha.” 

He licks up your neck, nips your jaw, presses a quick kiss to your lips. “Good girl.”

You try to squirm again, whining. “Alpha, please. Need you. Missed you, Seokjin.” He rubs your sides comfortingly. “It’s okay princess, I’ll take care of you. Always.”

He pulls his hips away just enough to slip his hands into your shorts, fingers finding your dripping slit. He groans, lips finding yours as he slips two fingers into you. He pumps them a few times before you quickly grow restless, turning away just enough to speak.

“Not enough. Need your cock, please.”

He chuckles at your neediness and how much it mirrors his own and aquiesses easily enough to your request because he doesn’t think he could prolong this that much anyway. He pulls his fingers free, undoes his pants just enough to pull his dick out and then tugs your shorts and underwear to the side just enough to slip in. He slides in to the hilt and pauses there, panting. 

“God you really were made for me.” He groans. “Fuck, I’m never letting you go again.”

You nod happily. “Yes, yes. Please move.”

He complies, starting a fast pace that leaves you feeling like this is your first time all over again with how overwhelming it is. You’re already remarkably close to cumming despite the fact that not much has been done and you have an inkling on what exactly will tip you over. You let your head drop to the side.

“Jinnie. Seokjin,” You wait till you have his attention. “Alpha claim me.”

His eyes flash and there’s no hesitation as he dips his head down to pepper your neck with kisses. A moment later, you feel teeth and then the wetness of blood as he pierces skin. You gasp, back bowing as everything becomes more intense and the feeling of Seokjin’s tongue as he cleans the blood from your claiming mark is the last little push you need to push you over the edge. 

You shudder, moaning his name and fingers gripping his shirt tight enough that you feel it rip. Seokjin slows his thrusting to let you ride out your orgasm and once he senses that your not too sensitive, he resumes his fast pace, chancing his own high. You feel exhausted but the unmarked skin of his neck is like a magnet and you gather what strength you’ve got left to sink your teeth into his skin to leave your own claiming mark. 

Seokjin growls at this, getting a couple last rough thrusts before he cums, shuddering under your hands as you lick the blood from his neck and a moment later you feel his knot. Your head drops back against the wall and you groan weakly, hips rocking slightly as you stare dazedly at the way your mark stands out against Seokjin’s skin, feeling whole and content. His head rests against your shoulder, breath puffing against your collarbone as he struggles to catch his breath.

Your blissful bubble is burst a few minutes later when you hear the front door open. “Y/n!” Lisa calls and she sounds distracted, Jungkook must not have informed her that Seokjin came by. Your mind is lagging too much to connect that this is about to be bad if you don’t respond. “I know you told me to go to class and I did… Well one class. But I was worried, and nothing against Jungkook, but I’d just feel better if I were the one watching-” She cuts off abruptly as you hear something drop to the ground. “Jesus fucking Christ!” You glance over, body flushing in embarrassment at not even having been able to make it to your room. Lisa has her hands over her eyes and body turned away, backpack lying on the ground at her feet. “Really! You couldn’t have like, I don’t know, fucking warned me? Jesus, gross. I think I’m scarred for life now.” There’s a heavy pause before Lisa snatches her phone out of her pocket and storms off. “I’m going to fucking kill Jungkook. The little fucker could’ve texted me. He’s so dead.”

Seokjin’s shoulders shake beneath your hands and you look back to him to see him struggling to hold back laughter. You bite your lip, his laughter making you want to laugh. You poke him. “Shh, Lisa will kill you.” You whisper, little snickers escaping as you.

He looks up at you, eyes sparkling with joy. You can’t resist the urge to lean down and peck him on the lips. He grins before he adjusts his grip on you and moves you both carefully to your room.

“We’ll text you when we’re decent and it’s safe to come back Lis!” You call as Seokjin giggles.

“Pass! Think I’m just going to move out! It’s not safe here anymore!” You hear her call back a second before you hear the front door slam. 

You and Seokjin both finally dissolve into laughter as he closes the bedroom door. He sits gently on the edge of your bed and gives you an apologetic smile when you squirm slightly in his lap.

“Sorry about knotting you. I… I couldn’t really stop it after you bit me.”

You run your hands through his hair affectionately. “It’s more than ok, babe.”

His eyes flutter closed, leaning into your touch as he hums. “Careful princess, or it’ll happen again.”

You grin, grip tightening slightly. “I certainly hope it happens a whole lot more, boyfriend.” You tease. 

~8 Months Later~

You shrug the black robe on over your dress, adjusting it so it lays properly. The dress is new and you’re excited for Seokjin to see it, you refused to let him come with you to get, instead choosing to make the shopping trip a girls day with Lisa and the others. You stare at yourself in the mirror for a moment before there’s a knock and then Lisa’s opening the door, her own robe on. She grins as she lifts her cap. 

“You ready?”

You grin back, excited that the year is over and even more excited for what’s to come. You grab your own cap off the dresser and follow her out to put your shoes on. 

“Is Seokjin meeting us beforehand?” She questions, straightening up.

“No, he said that he’d meet us after the ceremony. He knows how hectic it is beforehand and said that we could have the time to just ourselves.”

She nods and you leave, joining your fellow students headed to graduation. 

“Y/n!” You turn just as Jimin’s arms wrap around your middle and he lifts and twirls you with glee. “We did it! We’re college grads!” He crows with delight. 

You giggle and slap at his shoulder. “I’m aware! Put me down! I’m unsteady enough in these shoes!”

His spinning slows to a stop but you remain held aloft. You squirm, glancing down to see the faux pout on his face, ruined by the smile he clearly can’t keep away. You raise an eyebrow after catching movement behind him. 

“I’d put me down if I were you.” You smirk.

“What’re you gonna do about it?” He taunts.

You tap your chin thoughtfully for a moment before shrugging. “I won’t do anything.” A flash of confusion colors his expression but before he can pose any sort of question, you continue. “But Taehyung certainly can.”

As soon as the name leaves your lips, Jimin’s expression falls, eyes widening in panic. He doesn’t get so much as a word out before fingers dig into his sides and he lets out a startled yelp, finally dropping you. And you’re positive you’d have fallen on your ass if Lisa hadn’t also been with Taehyung and is there to steady you when you were finally freed. You shoot her a grateful smile as you watch Taehyung’s merciless tickling of Jimin, the two rolling on the ground.

“Well at least they don’t need the robes anymore.” Jennie snarks, also joining the two of you in watching. 

The rest of your friends slowly join in watching the two wrestle, finally being able to part from family so that you all could be together on such a momentous day. A few moments later, you feel a tug in your chest and you whip your head around, scanning the crowd a second before Seokjin appears with a grin and call of your name. You see Yoongi, Namjoon, and Hoseok trailing along with him. You abandon the conversation with your friends in favor of meeting him halfway,  flinging your arms around his neck as you beam.

He gives you a quick peck. “I’m so proud of you.” He murmurs, one arm snaking around your waist. 

When the other doesn’t join it, you frown and pull away slightly, following his arm to where it remains tucked behind his back. You pout. “This seems like an inadequate proud greeting.”

He chuckles, pulling his arm out from behind him and presenting the flowers he was hiding to you in a flourish. “That’s because I had a surprise.”

Taking them, you hold them close to smell, marveling at their beauty before giving Seokjin a kiss of your own. “Thank you.”

“You two are gross. Can you not in public?” Yoongi grouses from beside you, but you know it holds no heat.

“That doesn’t sound like a good way to be introduced to my friends, mister.” You snark back, sharing a conspiratory look with Seokjin.

“I can’t believe it’s taken so long for you to introduce all of us.” Hoseok chimes in as you begin to make your way back to rejoin your friends.

“We were busy, had to finish college and you guys have a business. And schedules just never really worked out. Plus Hoseok, you actually already know Jimin.”

Hoseok perks up at that. “The dance student Jimin, right? He’s your friend? Wow, small world.”

“Hey guys!” You announce, waiting to have your friends attention. “These are Seokjin’s friends, Hoseok, Namjoon and Yoongi. Guys these are all my friends.”

Everyone starts talking over each other then to introduce themselves and share stories and you grin, nudging Seokjin. When he looks at you, you nod your head towards where Yoongi stands frozen. Frozen, and staring at Jimin. 

Jimin appears to be completely oblivious to the alpha currently staring him down, instead, he’s busy regaling the others of a story from one of Hoseok’s dance classes. Seokjin goes to say something but you hold up a hand to halt him. He gives you a questioning look but you wave him off. You move around the group till you reach Jimin, now finished with his story and you lean in to whisper in his ear, pointedly looking towards Yoongi when Jimin gives you a wide eyed look. He sheepishly follows your glance, quickly looking away when his eyes meet Yoongi’s intense stare, cheeks quickly heating. 

You give him a kiss on the cheek and a wink as you move back to Seokjin, who wraps an arm around you.

“You didn’t talk for long, are you sure that’ll be enough?” He questions. 

You observe Jimin for a moment, who’s talking to Taehyung but you see his eyes darting to Yoongi every so often. You grin. “I did just enough. Give it a second.” You give Seokjin a wry look. “Are you doubting me?”

He kisses your forehead. “Doubt you, love? Never.”

A moment later, your prediction proves right as you see Jimin say something to Tae before he’s shyly making his way over to Yoongi. You want to laugh because you’ve never seen Jimin be genuinely shy around an alpha a day in your life. Maybe you should get a picture so you can tease him later, payback for all the teasing you got over Seokjin.

You turn to Seokjin. “See? Told you.”

He hums, other arm coming up to join the first. “I do. I should never doubt you.”

You smile fondly as the two start talking, it’s stilted and awkward but you know they’ll get going on their own soon enough. You and Seokjin had taken a little while to realize that the omega that Yoongi was hung up on was Jimin. It wasn’t until Hoseok had guest taught again and Yoongi went with, with the excuse that he wanted Hoseok to use one of his songs for the dance and he wanted to see what the dancers came up with, and Yoongi mentioned the omega who ignored him again was there. He was vague on details, but Hoseok had gushed happily about one of the students in the class and how amazing they were. You’d asked their name and he’d told you Jimin.

When you’d asked Jimin about the class, he’d revealed that besides him, the only other omegas in that class were women. When you’d told Seokjin that Yoongi was pining over your friend, you got genuinely worried that he hurt himself with hard he was laughing. You asked about setting them up or setting up a group meeting to let them meet in a place where Jimin isn’t in dance mode, but Seokjin said no. When you pressed he said that letting Yoongi pine a little would let you both see if he was serious or if he was just infatuated because Jimin ignored him once.

You think they’re also mates and that the only reason they haven’t realized yet is that they’ve only met in the dance studios, a place that’s overwhelming in the mix of scents that it’s nigh impossible to pick out individual ones. So you’d agreed to wait until graduation to introduce them, which meant that all of your friends had to wait to meet the others otherwise it would have never been fair to Jimin. You’re a little glad you did because the way Jimin is glowing while talking to Yoongi tells you that they’re gonna be fine.

You look up at Seokjin. “Now, as much as I love my friends. I’d much rather we go celebrate alone before they invade your apartment to party.” You grin.

“That doesn’t seem like a very nice thing to do.” 

You quirk an eyebrow. “Oh?” You fiddle with the zipper on your robe. “So you don’t wanna see the dress I bought alone first?” You tsk in mock disappointment. “And here I thought you’d want to. You were so sad that I wouldn’t show you.”

He swallows, gaze dipping to stare at your fingers and what you might be hiding beneath the robe. “I…”

You tug it down just enough for him to get a good eyeful of your cleavage. “It’s blue you know.” You smile sweetly. “I figured since it’s your favorite color…” You give a small shrug as you trail off, starting to turn back to your friends. 

You feel Seokjin’s growl against your chest and grin in victory seconds before he’s hauling you away from your friends. 

[itsclydebitches]

YYH Recaps: Episode 1, Surprised to be Dead

Hello, all you hypothetical readers! It's a beautiful spring day and I have a free afternoon ahead of me, so what better time to start another massive project while I guilty stuff my other WIPs deep into the depths of my hard drive? Yeah. Iffy life choices aside, someone mentioned a few weeks back that they'd love for me to recap a show I have more positive things to say about than negative (RIP RWBY) and ever since Netflix announced that their live-action adaptation of Yu Yu Hakusho is in the works, I've been itching for a re-watch of the anime. With the RWBY hiatus underway, it seemed like the perfect time to fulfill both desires.

Before we begin though, I'd like to touch on a few things that are going to influence this project.

First, YYH is near and dear to my heart. Written by Yoshihiro Togashi in the early 1990s and later adapted for an American audience by Funimation, I had the pleasure of experiencing this story five different ways: as a serialized tale in Shonen Jump, a binge read when I had the money to buy the manga, tiny snippets of the anime on Adult Swim late at night — don't tell my parents ;) — as an after-school treat on Toonami, and then years later as a re-watch when I introduced it to a friend (who, in turn, blessed me by having us watch Fullmetal Alchemist next). I used to keep a Hiei bookmark in everything I was reading, the spirit gun made it into our witch-wolf-space adventures on the playground (middle school was wild), and there was a long period of my life where I tried very hard to teach myself to stand with my hands behind my back, precisely as Genkai does. Spoiler alert: I failed. So to say I love the series is... a little bit of an understatement. I bring this up simply as a way of demonstrating that there's more than a bit of nostalgia attached to YYH for me and that will inevitably cloud my reading of it. How can it not? So that's just something to keep in mind as I work through a series that, like any having hit its 30th birthday, has its outdated, flawed, and other questionable aspects.

Second, but very much connected to the first point, is that these are pretty casual recaps. I summarize and extrapolate, focusing primarily on plot and dialogue (but with the occasional cinematography aspect tossed in). I'm not conducting research on the cultural history here — something that will come up at least once in this episode — I'm not arguing an overarching thesis, and I've never been someone who focuses on the author/production/trivia of a series. I'm here for the story as the story is presented to the viewer. If you've read my RWBY Recaps, this will function precisely the same way, with the only difference being I'm engaging with a finished text as opposed to an ongoing one, so there’s a lot less, “Maybe ___ will happen” theorizing going on. 

Third, I obviously recommend that you watch the show yourself (you can find it on YouTube!), but you don't have to know the series to follow along. As these massive paragraphs attest, I tend to be both detailed and verbose, so we'll be covering every major plot point — and most of the smaller ones too.

Finally, I'm working from the dub. I know, I know, the horror. But it's what I grew up on and, honestly, I think it's superior to the sub. YYH's dubbing is in a class all its own and to this day there are very few shows that compare to it. Trust me, it's a good call.

That's enough of the boring chit-chat though. Let's get started!

Our very first episode "Surprised to be Dead" opens on a crowded street. We see lots of traffic, people going about their business, and a pedestrian crossing sign that, crucially, turns red. This is our normality and, like in every genre story, you need to break that normality at some point so that the protagonists can go on their fantastical/supernatural/science fiction journey. YYH eases us into things by first breaking the normality of an everyday afternoon: there's a screech of tires, quick shots of a man pushing a child out of the way of an oncoming car, and then his back is hitting the windshield. We begin this story with a horrible — but otherwise mundane — car crash.

Now, these flashes alone have a fair bit to unpack. Despite later getting a brief shot of the man's scared face right before he's hit, the moment's focus is really on the child. He's the one foregrounded in the initial, slow-mo shot. He's the one who appears in color while the man is kept in shadow. This isn't just a hit, it's a rescue. The camera is also careful to follow the soccer ball this kid was playing with (more on that later in the episode), with it flying through the air as the man is hit and bouncing to a stop in the street, acting as the dramatic finish. It's childhood! It's innocence! It's play on a sunny afternoon! And it's all gone wrong.

This moment is chaotic and even a bit confusing. Not in the sense of what's happening — that is quite obviously a guy being hit by a car — but who the victims are, how precisely this came about, or even why we're meant to care about this beyond a generic capacity to feel for other human (fictional) beings... that's all removed. And it works. As the crash takes place, the camera pans across the stunned crowd and we, the viewer, become a part of that crowd. They don't know what precisely is going on either. We're all just horrified onlookers as a sudden tragedy takes place. We're all watching the same show.

So everyone realizes this guy has been hit. People are staring in shock and someone calls for an ambulance. We see the driver fall to his knees in the street, distraught, shakily saying, "I didn't mean to..." It's a very serious and emotional scene that —

— is immediately tempered by this guy waking up, complete with a cute 'pop!' sound effect when he opens his eyes.

This is YYH's brand, this Very Serious Circumstances skillfully interwoven with casual indifference/comedy. It's admittedly far from a unique brand, but it's an excellent choice given that this is the same attitude that will drive 99% of our protagonist's interaction with the world.

Speaking of said protagonist, our guy wakes up, opens his eyes, and realizes that he's floating. There's a great, disorientating shot from his perspective where everything is upside down, causing him to nearly fall out of the air. Well would you look at that, he's as confused as we are. It's our audience surrogate!

A narrator says, "And so it all begins. This boy's name is Yusuke, he's fourteen years old, and he's supposed to be the hero of this story. But oddly enough, he's dead."

Game of Thrones might have made it popular, but YYH did it better.

(Yeah, yeah, I know one death kick-starts the journey and the other is a shocking twist. Just let me have this.)

Now, it's a weird introduction, right? At least at the end. The announcement that change has occurred, a name, an age... that all checks out. But "supposed to be the hero"? What the hell is that “supposed to” mean? Our narrator gives us the easy, surface answer: "But oddly enough, he's dead." We're capitalizing here on the audience's expectation that death ends a character's journey and though they may have been a hero previously, they can no longer be one moving forward. That function within the story has passed. So it's this intriguing question of, "What kind of hero do you have when that hero is dead from the start?" but as we'll see soon, there's an additional meaning here of, "How can Yusuke be the hero?" As this premiere sets up, Yusuke doesn't act like the hero is “supposed to” act. 

Until he saved this kid.

But right now he's just confused: "Okay, this is weird. Stupid weird."

Two EMTs arrive on the scene and are hilariously useless. You know how in any medical drama a doctor will stop CPR after a couple of seconds because obviously you're not going to spend half the episode on realism? Well, that's this only a thousand times worse. One guy just looks at the kid and announces he's fine except for some bumps and bruises. Meanwhile, the kid is sobbing.

"Well, at least one of them is," replies the other EMT, because I guess he can tell Yusuke is beyond hope without taking a pulse or anything? "I hate cleanup," he complains as they load his body onto a stretcher because that's? An empathetic response to have??

Honestly this scene is wild.

Yusuke is understandably upset that he's, you know, dead and all. He starts hounding the EMTs who, unable to hear him, just go about their business of taking the kid and his body to the hospital. "You think you can just do whatever you want because you have that stupid uniform on? You can't just write me off. Listen to me!" and Yusuke tries to punch one of the EMTs in the head, resulting in him floating right through.

What a great way to introduce your protagonist's personality. We see here that when things go wrong Yusuke's default emotion is anger and it starts creeping in even before he thinks the others are ignoring him: "Stupid weird." He has problems with authority — "You think you can just do whatever you want because you have that stupid uniform on?" — is used to others listening when he gets angry — "You can't just write me off!" — and is poised to use violence at the slightest provocation. Yusuke is a guy who, right now at least, is ready to punch first and ask questions later.

As Yusuke floats back up into the air and the ambulance drives away, he finally cools down enough to try and think his way out of this. "It's not like this is the first time you've been in a jam,” he thinks. Yusuke recalls that yeah, something was different about today...

...he actually went to school.

Catch me laughing that this idiot boy equates the weirdness of him dying with going to school. Good lord. 

Anyway, this jumpstarts our flashback. We open on a generic, anime middle school (that always feels like a high school to me) where the principal is calling for Yusuke through the loud speaker. Oooo someone’s in trouble! We follow a young girl up to the rooftop and she gets a classic hair-blowing-in-the-wind moment to  establish that she's our love interest. Meet Keiko Yukimura.

Keiko finds Yusuke hanging out and immediately starts lecturing him for trying to chew gum and refusing to wear the boys' uniform. "Oh, give me a break, Keiko. I look better in green." Note that it's here we learn her name and it's an easy, casual way to introduce it. I bring this up because Yusuke's introduction via our narrator is very much... not that. It's an on your nose statement about his name, age, and importance to the story, and if you're just starting the show in 2021, it might come across as a rather armature move. Like something out of a kid's show, perhaps. Yet here we see that this was a deliberate choice, considering that YYH is capable of introducing character information naturally when it wants to.

This moment also tells us that Yusuke cares a great deal about his image. More on that in a bit. Because Keiko isn't finished her list of grievances yet, going on to say that his attendance record has hurt their entire class, hurt her as class representative, and if he keeps going down this path he won't even graduate middle school. "Sometimes I think you don't care about anyone but yourself and then you don't even do that right!"

They're legit complaints. Too bad Yusuke is busy looking up Keiko's skirt.

Yeeeeah. Sadly, this is common for anime, particularly a 90s anime like YYH. Even presumably more progressive series like My Hero Academia feature characters like Mineta, whose entire personality is being a pervert, and the creation of abilities that "require" kids/young women to be scantily clad. See: Yaoyorozu. YYH is no different in this regard, with various forms of sexual harassment functioning as a shorthand for how much Yusuke secretly likes Keiko. "Boys will be boys," right? Obviously not. 

Like so many others series, the creators get away with it because they’re framing it as a bad thing. It's totally fine because look, Keiko slaps him! This is  teaching the viewer how wrong this behavior is. Never mind that this is clearly an established habit between them, that Yusuke laughs off Keiko's discomfort, and that the whole scene is meant to be funny for the viewer. That's the real purpose here; it’s not a PSA on harassment. 

That, and to establish the long-suffering love Keiko has for Yusuke in turn, largely stemming from a life-long friendship. "Dumb boy! He hasn't grown up a bit since he was four years old." We see that Keiko's early interactions with Yusuke have given her insight that others lack. As she heads down from the roof she runs into two girls hiding around the corner, too scared to come out lest "the great Urameshi" set his sights on them. Isn't Keiko terrified of what he might do to her? "Or worse, what others might say of it?" Like any classic high school middle school setting, one's reputation is king. Yusuke cares about how others see him — maintaining that tough boy attitude — and the girls care more about what the rest of the school might think of Keiko's interactions with him than the presumed harm Yusuke could do to her. They heard he can summon 2,000 men with just a whistle and that he "kills for fun!" But that means nothing in the face of people talking about you. Despite being one of the most popular girls in school, Keiko is the outsider here via her disinterest in what other people think.

The animation changes here, giving us a good look at how the girls picture Yusuke: tough, scowling, surrounded by shadows, and backed by an entire army.

In contrast, we've already seen what Yusuke is really like.

Keiko laughs the image off too. Yusuke is more like a "lamb" than a killer and besides, he couldn't order around two people, let alone two hundred. "He doesn't have many friends."

"That's not what I heard," says one of the girls. 

"Yeah," goes the other. "I think we would know." 

Again, rumors rule here, with whispers in the hall considered more reliable than someone who interacts with Yusuke on a daily basis. Keiko doesn’t have a hope of changing their minds. 

Oh, as a side note, I love that they gave Keiko Miyazaki-esque hair. It's very emotive.

Yusuke escapes outside where the principal is still calling for him to report to his office. He overhears a conversation around the corner and we cut to two boys, one of which is showing a wallet off to the other. He explains that some bully tried to rough him up, but he said he was Urameshi's cousin and the bully took off, dropping his wallet in the process. The guy's friend is impressed, but what is he going to do if Yusuke ever finds out he lied? Not to worry, he says, that "blockhead" would probably think it's true even if he did somehow hear.

Yusuke, obviously, does hear about this and he, also obviously, does not believe this guy is his cousin. He looms ominously and they scurry up against a wall, terrified and offering him the wallet as an apology.

"You think I want your money?" Yusuke yells.

YYH is, in many respects, a rather simple story, but I appreciate the hints of complexity in these otherwise straightforward interactions. It's not that this guy used Yusuke's name to steal a wallet, he used it as a form of protection against another bully — a far more sympathetic motivation. It's not that Yusuke's fearsome reputation has resulted in any genuine respect because once people think they're safe they reveal how little they think of his intelligence — he's a "blockhead." And Yusuke, though intimidating and violent, is not your average, schoolyard bully. He doesn't care about money, only the insult and the damage this guy using his name might have done to his reputation. There's a little more nuance here than you might otherwise expect.

Also, note how dark the boys' standard uniforms are and how much they blend into the rest of the world. Yusuke, as our protagonist, stands out in his bright clothing. He was right, he does look better in green!

So he's ready to clobber this kid when one of the teachers arrive: Mr. Iwamoto.

Iwamoto demands to know what's going on, but the boys are too terrified to rat Yusuke out. Noticing the wallet on the ground, he assumes that Yusuke was after their money, something that greatly offends him: "Whatever!" Iwamoto goes on to say that, "No good weeds like you should have been plucked a long time ago," making it clear that he considers Yusuke a hopeless case. The positive aspects that Keiko sees, as well as the complexity the viewer sees — to say nothing of his introduction of saving a kid — aren’t considered here.

Notably, Iwamoto exists in part to show us what Yusuke could become. Not a teacher (he's obviously not attending school enough for that!), but a cynical man who is cruel for cruelty's sake. Yusuke is already barreling down that path, ignoring Keiko's advice, terrorizing other students, trying to punch EMTs, etc. If his life (or afterlife...) hadn't changed through that accident, this is the kind of person Yusuke might have grown up to be, and we can see that clearly in the visual parallels between them. Dark haired men dressed in green who scowl with ease and toss out cutting insults. Yusuke is staring his future in the face.

For now he walks off with a final shot, "You shouldn't talk. It makes you sound stupid." This time Yusuke makes it to the school's entrance and tries to enjoy his second attempt at chewing gum, but someone hits him in the back of the head.

"Okay, somebody's DEAD — ah. Sorry, old man."

"That's Mr. Takenaka to you."

Our principal has finally left the office and hunted down Yusuke for himself! Putting this interaction immediately after the one with Iwamoto allows the viewer to compare them. Yusuke might be irreverent towards his principal, but it's clear there's still some kind of respect between them. Yusuke only starts threatening because he doesn’t realize who hit him and once he does realize it's Takenaka, he immediately apologizes. That "old man" comes across as a teasing insult and Yusuke allows himself to be briefly dragged back towards school, rather than throwing a now classic punch. In turn, Takenaka cares enough about Yusuke to try and keep him on the straight and narrow. He utilizes Yusuke's preferred language — violence — but in a casual way, nonthreatening way: slight hit to the back of his head, noogie, pulling him along by the ear. 

It's the sort of physicality we're used to seeing in media between a parent and child who are outwardly antagonistic, but actually share a deep bond. Takenaka is also careful to frame their return to his office as a "discussion," not a punishment, and offers Yusuke tea along with the conversation. Whereas Iwamoto considers Yusuke to be a "weed" that should have been plucked from their school long ago, Takenaka is determined to help Yusuke bloom.

If we're continuing the flower metaphor :D

Yusuke isn't in the mood to play along though. He gets away by using a fake ear, startling Takenaka when it unexpectedly pulls free. Yusuke escapes the school grounds and Takenaka, suffering a back twinge from his fall, can't chase after him. Poor guy. I understand that pain lol.

Yusuke heads home where we're introduced to his mother, Atsuko. Most notable in her first shot is the soft lighting that highlights her looks. We're not told how old she is here, but I believe she's around 28 — and she looks it, if not younger. Given that Yusuke is 14, that means Atsuko was a mom at his age. This is a quick and subtle way to tell us about Yusuke's home life. There are more overt details in this scene — it's at least lunchtime and Atsuko hasn't left her bed yet, she demands that Yusuke make her coffee instead of greeting him, it's all meant to imply (before we actually see) that she's an alcoholic — but her age is another way to highlight the broken household here. There's no partner in sight and she clearly had Yusuke as a teenager. He hasn't had a strong parental figure to take care of him. If anything, Yusuke is taking care of Atsuko here.

"Oh great, mother of the year!" basically sums things up.

Atsuko wants to know why Yusuke isn't in school and he says that everyone is pissing him off today, particularly with their preaching. "Dear, if you hate preaching so much you should live on your own... but you can't do that, can you?" Alongside a rough upbringing, Yusuke is suffering from the common problem of being trapped in a dead-end life. He hates his school, his town, and coming home to find his mom hungover. Yusuke has no prospects and, outside of one principal, no one who is actively working to help him find some. Even the little things he hates, like being preached to, are unavoidable because if you want to live on your own, that requires money. Good luck pulling that off as a middle schooler whose only skill is street fighting!

Yusuke walks off in a huff, literally shouting in a street about what a bad day he's having (and hilariously scaring off pedestrians in the process). His shout brings trouble though. A couple guys appear to ambush him, their boss close behind. The music increases the tension, Yusuke's expression is serious, and we even get a Dutch angle thrown into the mix. 

For any who don't know, the Dutch angle is a popular film technique to establish that something is wrong. There's tension in the scene, something uneasy is at play, and the world is now literally off center. It's perhaps most famously used in Do The Right Thing to establish the friction between an Italian-American pizzeria and the predominantly African American neighborhood it's based in.

But it's also used a great deal in horror as a way to say: yup, shit just got real. Scary real.

This Dutch angle introduces a character you may not appreciate at first, but absolutely should: Kazuma Kuwabara.

He's initially the comic relief and that's clear in his introduction. Within seconds we move from that intimidating arrival to, well, seeing him. To be clear, I've got nothing against redheads with big chins, but compared to Yusuke's design, Kuwabara is meant to be the funny looking one. His threat level plummets the moment we get a look at his face, especially in a series that will occasionally use looks as a (supposed) measure of intelligence. 

Also, Kuwabara is dressed in light blue so, like Yusuke, we know he's important!

Any assumptions that his appearance isn’t meant to imply a goofy, embarrassing personality are put to rest when Kuwabara starts rambling about how they last time they fought Yusuke just got a cheap shot in and he'll definitely win this time. Yeah, he won't. Yusuke is thrilled by this diversion though and we get a shot of him looking almost as creepy as Keiko's friends think he is. Whatever else might be said about Yusuke, he is absolutely a monster in a fight.

Which we see here. If anyone picked up the series without knowing this was a fighting anime, they'll realize it now. Yusuke's choreography is stylized to show off his skill: he disappears with a 'whoosh' and dark lines to suggest inhuman speed,

attacking Kuwabara with a knee to the face, utilizes flying kicks, lands perfect, precision punches, and ends it all with the toe-tip landing we've come to expect of all powerful fighters. Kuwabara never even got a hit in. 

Happy as a clam now, Yusuke wanders off whistling and Kuwabara's friends are left to pick up the pieces. AKA, his likely broken bones. I love that they're legit friends though and not just nameless goons for the sake of giving Kuwabara a small gang (though their names won't come up until later). "That makes 0 wins an 156 loses!" one of them cries, trying to get Kuwabara to stop ending up in the hospital, probably. We establish that Kuwabara is The Most Dramatic Ever when he pulls his broken body into a seated position, shouting, "No! I almost had him that time!"

Then he passes out.

Kuwabara, honey, you obviously did not almost have him, but god bless you for the outlook. The most optimistic thing on this Earth is a well-loved Golden Retriever, but Kuwabara comes in at a very close second.

With his dream to one day beat Yusuke in combat established, we cut to Yusuke wandering the street where the episode opened. "Okay, I'm remembering" he says in a voiceover. "After that I met the kid."

The soccer ball reappears as it rolls to a stop at Yusuke's feet. He grabs it and immediately starts yelling at the kid. Horrible protagonist, right? Well, Yusuke is trying to instill in him the danger of using this street as a playground, a worry the viewer already knows is 100% justified. “Listen, kid, that’s dangerous! There are cars going by that will splatter you into the pavement!” It's one of those quick moments where we get to enjoy Yusuke's duality: he's someone who is nearly making a toddler cry, but for rather understandable reasons. He's got the right idea, but needs to go about it in a more mature manner.

Which is precisely what he attempts to do. Sort of. Yusuke changes gears, though whether it's a more "mature" route is certainly up for debate lol. He tries entertaining the kid instead, raising and lowering the soccer ball to reveal goofy faces.

When these fail to impress, Yusuke goes full out by stuffing the ball into his pants, pushing his nose up with a pair of chopsticks he got from god knows where, and generally just putting on a display.

So Yusuke cares very deeply about his reputation... but only when it comes to those who are an established part of his life. Keiko, Mr. Takenaka, and the other kids at school all need to maintain a particular image of Yusuke, one that he's carefully cultivated. But random pedestrians on the street? Who cares about them? Let them talk.

This shows us that Yusuke does indeed have priorities over his own, selfish goals. Namely, the happiness of some kid is more important to him than looking "cool" for a bunch of strangers. Lots of characters with Yusuke's surface attitude would sneer at the idea of degrading themselves for — their words — some brat. But Yusuke, as we constantly see, actually does have that heart of gold. “Well, if all else fails I can still make kids happy.”

Although... I'm not sure what to make of his display itself. I have the distinct sense that there's something prejudiced here that I'm not able to fully articulate, what with the chopsticks, slanted eyes, bald head, and the like, though to be entirely frank I don't have enough knowledge of Japan's history to say precisely what it might be. Or, really, whether it exists at all. Just something to chew on.

What I am sure about though is the importance of having the child label Yusuke as monster — "Yeah, monster! — but in a delighted manner. Yusuke is indeed some kind a monster, someone who disappoints adults and terrifies his classmates, a demon fighter on the streets too, but here that identity is reworked into something positive.

Having successful secured a laugh, Yusuke tells the kid — calmly this time — to go play elsewhere. The toddler stares up at him with the blank expression only kids can manage.

Well, kids and whatever headspace I'm in after writing these metas.

To absolutely no one's surprise except Yusuke's, the kid does not go elsewhere. Instead, he continues kicking the ball down the street, causing Yusuke to exclaim, “Dammit, what’s the use? The kid can get smashed by a car for all I care!” Liar, liar. 

The picture becomes desaturated as the kid kicks the ball and it flies into the street, time slowing down to show it landing precisely in the middle of the road. Yusuke again yells for him to stay put, but when has a toddler ever listened? He begins to walk into the road as our driver arrives, speeding, swerving, and paying more attention to the girl at his side than what's in front of him.

This time, we see the accident from the front with both Yusuke and the kid presented equally.

There's a cut to black and when we return we're in the present, Yusuke floating above the policemen now investigating the scene. “So that’s it? I’m roadkill?” As Yusuke realizes he's dead, specifically that he's a ghost, a voice goes,

"Bingo! Bingo! You win the prize!"

A woman has appeared who is quite obviously othered by the standards of the episode so far. Unlike the greens, blues, and browns of the series' modern clothes, she's dressed in hot pink kimono with blue hair to match. She's also, you know, floating on an oar.

“I didn’t expect you to figure it out so quickly," she says, referring to Yusuke's revelation that he's dead. Apparently, those who meet unexpected and/or violent ends tend to take some time coming to terms with their demise. It's a nice acknowledgment of Yusuke's intelligence in an interaction that's otherwise... not great for his self-esteem.

Meaning, this woman is about to drag him lol.

She introduces herself as Botan, pilot of the River Styx and guider of souls to the afterlife. You might also know her as the Grim Reaper.

(Hey, RWBY fans: I originally wrote that as Grimm Reaper 🤦‍♀️)

It's an claim Yusuke takes issue with because 1. Botan is too pretty to be the Grim Reaper and 2. If she was really some god of death she'd be taking this much more seriously, not laughing and saying, "Bingo!" For the audience this does two things. First, it acknowledges our own expectations and validates them. Yusuke's world isn't so far removed from our own that he takes Botan's looks and personality at face value, he also expected a skeleton with a scythe. So don't worry, all the weird stuff in this series is weird to our protagonist too. They'll be explanations. Or, even if there’s not, you’re not wrong for being surprised. 

Second, it sets up the very common theme in YYH of undermining those common assumptions again and again and again. We've already seen it with Yusuke, wherein characters who look and act a certain way are, supposedly, destined to be that person and nothing more. Yusuke is meant to be just a "weed," a dumb, violent, angry loser who goes nowhere in life... but we already know he's more than that. Botan is supposed to be scary and serious, but she says nah, I want to be cute and bubbly instead. No character in YYH embodies who they're "supposed" to be when you look past those surface characterizations. They play the part of archetypes — and do keep certain parts of their expected personalities — but they're also far more well-rounded than that. Which yeah, is something most people expect from any story nowadays, but YYH is particularly adept at making you think you're watching Simple Show A only to turn around and surprise you with More Complex Show B.

It's great, trust me.

So Yusuke is pissed that Botan isn't adhering to those expectations, in the same way that he works hard to validate others expectations of him. He doesn't know how to deal with someone challenging his world view yet. Rather than angering Botan though, she just nods and says that this response makes sense for him. “Rather than being scared, or surprised, you yell a lot and tell me I don’t know what I’m talking about." Taking out a notebook, she quickly summarizes everything we learned in the flashback — minus Yusuke's complexities: he's fourteen, in middle school, is ill-tempered, violent, hates authority, and is a horrible student.

Typically, Yusuke responds by getting angry and trying to snatch the booklet out of her hands, only for Botan to pull it out of his reach, laughing. The tables have turned! Rather than being surrounded by people who cower at Yusuke's imposed authority, he now finds himself faced with someone who laughs at his transparent attempts to take control of the situation.

Calming down, Yusuke wants to know if the kid he saved is really alright and Botan offers to let him see for himself. That offer produces Yusuke's first, genuine smile.

They fly to the hospital where a doctor is in the process of giving the kid a clean bill of health, his mother crying with relief. 

That's enough for Yusuke. “Alright, Botan, I’ve got no regrets, so you can take me to hell or wherever it is I’m going.”

That tells you all you need to know about Yusuke's self-worth, despite his bad boy attitude. His life is a dead-end as far as he can see and most of those around him haven't done anything to dissuade him of that idea. He says he doesn't care if the kid lives or dies, but then instinctively saves him. Post his death, Yusuke doesn't have anything he considers a regret, or anything he'd like to do before he leaves, like saying goodbye to a loved one. Oh, he's also pretty sure he's going to hell and has resigned himself to that without a fight.

Uplifting!

Botan just laughs though, saying that she's actually here to offer Yusuke an "ordeal" that could bring him back to life. See, he wasn't supposed to die today — let alone die saving a kid — and frankly they don't know what to do with him. It's another neat summary of what we've already learned: Yusuke is a far more complicated case than the afterlife assumed and now, when push comes to shove, deciding whether he belongs in heaven or hell is... muddled.

There's a fantastic story there about the problems with an afterlife that reduces a person's entire life to a few surface characteristics recorded in a book, refusing to acknowledge the context of their situation, or their capacity for change. “Run someone with your credentials a thousand times and they never would have saved a kid like that." Except, of course, Yusuke did save him, so those "credentials" are suspect, to say the least. However, YYH is not a story that explores these issues. Instead, I recommend you watch this!

Rather than being upset at the afterlife's low opinion of him (because let's be real, Yusuke shares it), he latches onto a little detail Botan let slip. If he wasn't supposed to die today... then was the kid?

Mmm... no. Actually, without the chaos of Yusuke jumping into the road, the driver would have swerved at the last second and the kid would have not only lived, but actually come out with one less scrape.

So Yusuke is obviously upset by this news! I would be too!! Holy shit, hang onto the "it's the thought that counts" message with everything you've got.

Also, don't think too much about the fact that the afterlife apparently knows exactly what will happen to people, down to how many cuts they accumulate in an accident. Also, don't think too much about where the afterlife foreseeing the crash begins and the unexpectedness of Yusuke interfering ends. That way lies madness. This will never come up again, so just let it go.

Sorry, 2013 me hijacked the post for a second.

As said, Yusuke is understandably upset by this revelation and as he fumes I'm reminded that this series likes to pull some amazing expressions.

Botan reiterates that it's all fine because Yusuke can come back to life. Weren't you listening? He should feel honored, in fact, considering that an offer like this only arrives every 100 years or so. Well, that explains why all of humanity isn't grappling with people coming back to life on the daily. One person every generation isn't going to cause much of a stir.

However, instead of jumping at the chance Yusuke announces that Botan is just like the teachers at school: she doesn't know what she's talking about. “You said yourself my life was kind of pathetic, right?” he says, going on to explain that everyone will be happier now that he's dead. His school won't have to deal with his behavior, Keiko won't have to nag him, and his mom will be able to party whenever she wants. It's a win-win for everyone involved. 

Hmm, this feels familiar. 

Don't worry, Yusuke doesn't need to experience a whole alternate reality to get the message.

“I’m sorry you feel that way at such an early age," Botan says and she is sorry, because despite her teasing nature that's a legitimately horrifying thing to believe. Yusuke won't budge though and after a little back-and-forth Botan leaves, telling Yusuke he should think it over while visiting his wake. She'll come back once he decides what to do.

“Do you have worms in your ears, lady? I did decide!” but Botan is long gone.

We cut to that night where Yusuke has indeed decided to attend his own wake. Maybe because of Botan's advice, maybe because he's just morbidly curious. We’re not given insight into the decision. 

Atsuko is a mess, to put it mildly, not dressed for the occasion and sitting slumped against the way, staring vacantly as the guests offer their condolences. Yusuke is surprised by the fact that his entire class is here, but quickly writes them off when he sees two of the boys laughing. I'm on the fence about this detail, which I'll unpack in just a second.

First though, Yusuke sees Keiko exiting the house, inconsolable in her grief. She collapses on the ground with her two friends trying to offer comfort, despite the fact that they had nothing good to say about Yusuke himself. Good on them.

Before he can think too long on this though, Yusuke is distracted by Kuwabara's arrival. Unlike Keiko's crying, he expresses his grief through yelling. Specifically, yelling at Yusuke. For dying. For daring to "run away." His own friends are physically holding him back as he charges into the wake, screaming, “Who am I gonna fight now, huh? Who am I gonna fight?" It's not really about the fighting, of course. At least, not the fighting alone. "You’re supposed to be here for me," Kuwabara finishes, the punch he's thrown at Yusuke's photo going limp and catching his first tear.

You know, for all the  goofy expressions, this show really is gorgeous. Just wait until we get to the fight animations.

Kuwabara's reaction is why I hesitate to write off the classmates like Yusuke has. Granted, we have no reason to believe that they care for him as Kuwabara does — they're nameless background characters defined only by their terror of "the great Urameshi" — but it's still a split second taken out of context. We don't know what they were laughing at, or if laughing is a part of their grief. God knows I personally laugh at the most inappropriate moments. If you tell me someone has just died there is a very good chance I will laugh awkwardly as I try to process that. It’s just a reflex. All of which I bring up not because these side characters are important, but because Yusuke's perception of his own worth is. The point of each of these moments is to show that those around him have always cared for him, even if Yusuke didn't notice. It's nice to think that extends to his classmates too. The variety likewise exists to show us how people grieve differently, with Kuwabara's friends not understanding that this is how he's working through the trauma: “This place is for mourning!” He is mourning, even if his way of mourning isn't as socially acceptable as Keiko's. So if screaming and throwing punches is valid, crying is valid, staring stoically in a drunk stupor is valid... why not laughter too?

Not likely, perhaps, but possible.

As an additional possibility to chew on, watching this premier again, it struck me how more emotional Kuwabara's scene is compared to Keiko's. Don't get me wrong, crying and calling Yusuke’s name gets the point across, but it's two seconds of generic grief compared to a much longer scene rife with intensity. When Kuwabara arrives the music swells and everyone is forced to pay attention to him. His grief is loud, violent, and given symbolism with his fist and the photo. There's more effort put into his reaction, frankly, so it wouldn't surprise me if fans started shipping them after this. That grief combined with an "enemies to lovers" possibility is a pretty potent mix. To be clear, Yusuke/Keiko is the (oh so obvious) canonical endgame and in the fandom Yusuke/Kuwabara can't compare to another slash ship that will turn up later, but this is a good example of how writers can craft some Very Gay Scenes without realizing it. When you have the girl crying prettily for a second and the guy absolutely losing his mind over Yusuke's death, questioning his purpose now, his support network, and then collapsing in grief... don't be surprised if your audience goes, "Oh hey, maybe they'd be a good couple instead."

But I digress.

The only people who are unquestioningly happy about Yusuke's passing are Mr. Iwamoto and his co-conspirator, Mr. Akashi. You know Akashi is another bad guy because he has bucked teeth and "ugliness" is an easy way to code for evilness. YYH is not immune to those mistakes :/

These two are really something else though, standing in the middle of a wake and claiming it's “too bad that car wasn’t big enough for them too," referring to Kuwabara and his friends. Wow! What stellar members of the academic community. Iwamoto goes on to say that Yusuke dying at least accomplished something good. Not, mind you, saving the life of a child, but rather looking good for their school's reputation. Akashi agrees, but says it's likely Yusuke only accidentally saved him while trying to steal the kid's lunch money. Remember, that accusation of theft is the one thing Yusuke has said outright that he does not do.

He's pissed listening to all this — wouldn't you be? — but knows by now he can't do anything about it. In another fantastic shot, Yusuke hovers his hand over Iwamoto's shoulder, desperate to grab him, when Takenaka's arrives there instead.

“What do you suppose is more disgraceful? That boy showing his misery, or your insensitive and idiotic words!”

HELL YEAH. You tell 'em, Mr. Takenaka.

Yusuke gets his third shock of the night at this passionate defense. Takenaka leaves the teachers to go pay his respects, but admits to Yusuke's picture that he just can't speak well of him. He was surprised to hear that Yusuke gave up his life for another and it's a fact that he acted selfishly. Though he doesn't say it in as many words, Takenaka explains that he's not grieving because Yusuke was a good person, but because it's so clear to him that he might have been. “Why didn’t you stay? You could have made something great out of yourself.”

Normally, "Why didn't you stay?" is just something for the living to grapple with, as the dead obviously don't have any say in what happens to them. But Yusuke does. It's here that the lighting grows soft again and Yusuke considers Takenaka's words. Keiko and Kuwabara grieve for who he was, but Takenaka grieves for who Yusuke could have been — someone that might still exist if Yusuke decides to undergo this ordeal.

Atsuko adds fuel to the emotional fire, breaking down and hiding her face in her knees.

Finally, the kid Yusuke saved arrives with his mother. Because yes, Yusuke saved him in every way that matters, considering no one else knows — or will know — that he'd have lived anyway. I like that the show doesn't allow that knowledge to undermine the emotion of their arrival, or what Yusuke’s act meant to them. 

The mom tells her son to pay his respects and the kid thanks Yusuke for saving him, and for "making faces." He clearly doesn't get what's going on here. This is confirmed as the two leave and he asks his mom if he can play with Yusuke again tomorrow. “I know some people sounded angry at him, but he’s really nice!" 

They're probably just crying because they want to play with him too, he thinks, which just makes his mom join in. Everyone is crying in this club tonight.

Those words are the cincher for Yusuke and with a brief montage of all the grief he's witnessed, he makes his decision.

We cut to later that night where Yusuke floats above the city, admiring the moon. Botan reappears and he asks, “Have you ever not known about something that seemed obvious to everyone else?” Yes, everyone has experienced that at one point or another. She asks if he's made his decision and Yusuke agrees to try and come back to life.

Emotional revelations out of the way, we're allowed another tone shift as Botan yells with joy, speeding off and causing Yusuke to grab hold of the end of her oar, lest he be left behind. Cranky as always, he demands to know where they're going. "To the spirit world, of course!" They're off to see someone who can explain the ordeal and give Yusuke the tool needed to complete it. Just hang on and enjoy the ride.

Thus ends our very first episode! Ah, the nostalgia. This is part one of a four arc series, with the anime cutting out a lot of the filler stories found at the start of the manga — a smart decision, I think. They primarily do the work of teaching Yusuke what he learned at the wake, so if you can accomplish that as quickly as the adaptation did, all the better. Especially since Yusuke needs to grow a great deal beyond the basic understanding that people might, sort of care for him, and that work will occur primarily through a job he's going to take on. The series isn't really about his death and it's not about an attempt to come back either — it's about what happens once you get that second chance. So this is the setup, but it's important setup all the same.

No need to skip ahead though. I've blathered enough for one recap. I hope you enjoyed and I'll see you when the writing gods next bless me with energy! 💜

[zeldahime]

r/Relationship_Advice

this is my gift to @omgpurplefattie​ for the Eat Rocks,Troll! Xiyao exchange! The ao3 link will be in the first reblog, and a transcript can be found under the readmore!

r/Relationship_Advice

Trying to Make Sworn Brotherhood Work - posted by u/throwRAthirdbrother

This is an unusual situation, but I really want to make this work.

Me (20M), my close friend Blue (20M), and his friend & my former boss Green (22M) swore ourselves to each other in a sacred ceremony to bring our families closer together. I went into this hoping that it would bring the three of us closer together too -- Green and I had a bit of a spat about two years ago, and he still harbors resentment from the incident. 

Green still sometimes treats me like I'm his employee, while also expecting me to be able to reverse my father's decisions. My relationship with my father is complex and I won't get into it, but suffice to say Green should know I have no influence over what he or his company does. Regardless, it's best to appease him. Green has a disorder that makes emotional regulation difficult; even with his medication, he is prone to fits of rage or paranoia, which often cast me as the "bad guy." I know that based on just this information, many of you will tell me to dump him; that is not an option I want to pursue at the moment. I want to explore every option to overcome our problems, not dispose of them.

This situation is putting pressure on my relationship with Blue as well -- he's a wonderful, kind, generous man who I admire greatly, and I don't wish for all our time together to be spent talking about Green. Currently, he is teaching me the qin, and how to play the song Green's psychiatrist has recommended playing to help calm him; it is going well, and I wish to continue these lessons once I have learned the song. However -- we're both very busy, and have limited time together. I'm afraid that when all our interactions revolve around Green, I am not as able to savor it as much as I would like. 

I seek advice about how to better manage Green, so that his fits do not escalate, and to repair our relationship. I truly do want to come to a better place with him, where we can interact on a more even footing; in the meantime, I need to remain safe. If anyone has been in a similar situation, I welcome your guidance especially. 

Thank you very much in advance.

Replies: u/AnOriginalCharacter: okay question: are you married to them? it sounds like you're married to them. anyway. you should probably divorce green. 

u/TheManWithTheFan: SAN-GE! dont worry i wont tell da-ge ;) but hes being a big jerk about the whole xue yang thing & probably give him a day or two to calm down before you come back to our house? anyway. hed be a lot calmer if you just kissed him i think. ill give him some books to explain his Big Emotions (in his heart, and other places). and dont worry about er-ge! hes definitely going to keep giving you.... "private lessons" wink wink

u/throwRAthirdbrother: Don't you dare.

u/TheManWithTheFan: ;) ;) ;)

u/throwRAthirdbrother: You already gave him the books, didn't you.

u/JiangYanli: This is certainly a complicated situation! DH's brother is going through something similar. I think a good first step would be to sit down with Green and have a conversation about the incident from two years ago -- and crucially, to apologize for whatever parts of it caused the most hurt. I know that is the hardest part, but it also needs to happen in order for your relationship to begin to heal. I also hope that you know that your friends and family are there to support you -- don't hesitate to reach out to them! I would be honored if my BIL trusted me enough to ask for my help, and I am sure there are people in your life for whom this is true as well. Best wishes, Yanli.

u/throwRAthirdbrother: Thank you for your advice. I am sure your brother-in-law appreciates your kindness. ^_^

u/Xiyao_troll:  YTA for letting a toxic relationship go on for so long. You should break up with both of them before everything inevitably collapses, move away, and never talk to either of them again so that they can both move on. Maybe marry a nice girl who isn't your half sister.

u/yiling-laozu: wrong sub, fuck off

u/AnOriginalCharacter: woah dude harsh??? just because him and green don't get along doesn't mean he needs to burn everything to the ground smdh. & what are you talking about with the sister thing? he literally did not mention any girls at all?

u/yiling-laozu: oh shit dude! i'm going through the same thing kind of, like the guy i'm in love with hates my guts, so anyway i solved this issue by moving to the outskirts of a village in the middle of nowhere and not answering my phone for five months. it's kind of miserable to eat nothing but top ramen while we wait for our vegetable harvest but you know what, it's better than seeing him every day knowing he hates me? i don't recommend it but i don't not recommend it ykwim

u/throwRAthirdbrother: Our situations are not the same at all.

[medea10]

My Review of Trigun

How did I get into this anime? Let’s just say this was one of those animes that used to air on Saturday nights back in the day that I would every now and then come across while waiting for either Full Metal Alchemist, InuYasha, or Cowboy Bebop to air. But I never did watch a full episode or know a damn thing about this anime. So I’m just jumping into this anime blindfolded. All I know is that this was Johnny Yong Bosch’s first anime role.

Who is Vash the Stampede?

A frequent question that comes up throughout the series! Rumor has it that he wears a long, red trench coat and sports a Mohawk hairstyle. Some say he’s a notorious lecher. Many recount him shooting up their villages to a pile of rubble just for the heck of it. He has quite the reputation as he has a $$60,000,000,000 bounty on his head and is often known as the “Humanoid Typhoon”.

In reality, Vash the Stampede is…a bit of a dingus. He just happens to be at the wrong place at the wrong time and things kinda get out of hand. But that doesn’t stop two insurance agents (Milly Thompson and Meryl Stryfe) from following him around to confirm Vash’s identity and keep his actions to a minimum. At first, it’s hard to tell if he’s a stupid-genius or just flighty and gets lucky one too many times. But when shit goes down, don’t be surprised when you see this doofus get serious.

BETWEEN THE SUB AND THE DUB: Okay, what sad company did this use to belong to, Geneon, Bandai, or ADV Films? Oh, Geneon! That means good voice actors from L.A. put in really shitty roles. On the contrary, this was a fairly decent English dub. And on a severely positive note, this was indeed Johnny Yong Bosch’s very first anime role (and a main role at that). This was like fresh off his time as a Power Ranger! And I gotta give props for giving this guy a chance at voice acting. This role was the launching point to what has been a very successful career for Bosch. As for the sub, let’s just say I’m happy any time I get to hear Hiromi Tsuru in something besides Dragon Ball. Here’s what you might recognize these folks from.

JAPANESE CAST: *Vash is played by Masaya Onosaka (known for Bill on Pokemon, Isaac on Baccano, Jadeite on Sailor Moon, Kero on Cardcaptor Sakura, Leeron on Gurren Lagann, France on Hetalia, and Spandam on One Piece)

*Meryl is played by Hiromi Tsuru (known for Bulma on DBZ, Ukyo on Ranma ½, Yubel on YGO GX, and Mika on Gravitation) [R.I.P.]

*Milly is played by Satsuki Yukino (known for Kagome on InuYasha, Mion/Shion on Higurashi, Tae on Gintama, Amakata on Free!, Hiiragi on Natsume Yuujinchou, Mutsumi on Love Hina, and Yoruichi on Bleach)

ENGLISH CAST: *Vash is played by Johnny Yong Bosch (known for Ichigo on Bleach, Lelouch on Code Geass, Makoto on Free!, Izaya on Durarara, Artemis on Sailor Moon redub, Koizumi on Haruhi Suzumiya, and Yukio on Blue Exorcist)

*Meryl is played by Dorothy Elias-Fahn (known for Kaoru on Rurouni Kenshin, Naru on Love Hina, Tomoe on Rozen Maiden, Hakuei on Magi, Houki on Fushigi Yugi, and Amane on Tenchi Muyo GXP)

*Milly is played by Lia Sargent (known for Dorothy on The Big O and Judy on Cowboy Bebop)

FAVORITE CHARACTER: Milly! I don’t need a reason, it’s Milly!

SHIPPING: I didn’t really start thinking about shipping until more than halfway into this series. I thought there might be something between Vash and Meryl, but then again maybe not! Then I saw the backstory of Vash’s “younger days” and falling for the one woman who showed him compassion.

Yes, this is the same woman we consistently see in Vash’s flashbacks, Rem. Ooh boy, it’s one of those stories! So yeah, never mind my thinking with Vash x Meryl ever happening. I feel like Vash will mourn Rem’s death for a long time that I don’t think the whole thing with Meryl will ever work.

And as for Wolfwood x Milly…

FUUUUUUUCK! WHY DID YOU RUIN THIS CUTE COUPLE?!

MILLY WAS HEART-BROKEN!

…At least she got to have one night of passion with Wolfy-boy before the unthinkable happened.

THAT DARN CAT: If you watched this series, you might have noticed a little black cat spotted in nearly every episode. It’s there in the opening theme. It’s there in random places throughout the series. It’s there in the ending theme. What’s up with this cat? Well, there are a lot of theories surrounding this particular cat (or Kuroneko). Some say it’s really Rem inside that cat since you see it in literally every episode around Vash. Others say it’s because the creator of Trigun wanted to just mess with your minds with the kitty walking around in random places and towns. Seriously, it will always appear in every new town Vash and the gang comes across! As an avid cat enthusiast, I’m fine with whatever the result. Just as long as no harm comes to the little Kuroneko.

HALFWAY POINT: Halfway into the series we notice something more when it comes to Mr. Vash the Stampede. First of all, those horrifying scars all over his body! Second, that mysterious girl he often thinks about. I mean, we see flashes of her in the opening sequence. And third, the reason why he never kills. Vash has the ability of causing so much damage when pushed to a breaking point. One of the many reasons why he’s known as the “humanoid typhoon”! And that was perfectly shown when Vash chases the residents out of a town (so there would be no casualties), totally demolished the town during a fight, and made an indent on the moon!

But the story takes a sharp-left turn into WTF territory when we learn about WHAT exactly Vash is. Vash is a plant. Vash also has a brother named Knives. And while Vash has a mentality that all beings have a right to live, Knives has a “kill them all and let God sort them out” point of view. Now the existence of Vash and Knives came with a lot of controversy, especially in the ship that they were on. But that girl who Vash cares for, Rem cared for them regardless of what they were. Rem had high hopes for a peaceful world with coexistence. Too bad Knives had other motives and killed her.

ENDING TO TV SERIES: Vash has tried so hard to keep Milly, Meryl, and Wolfwood out of harm’s way. He knows there are some pretty bad people after him, including his polar-opposite brother, Knives. Vash hates death and wants to save as many people as humanly possible. He doesn’t want to see any more needless death. Probably from his flashbacks and losing Rem! Unfortunately, this doesn’t go so well.

I can see how iconic this death was now after witnessing it. Wolfwood, the priest who would hook up with Vash every now and then when they’re up against some ruffians, now finds himself in a crucial decision. He gets orders that he must eliminate Vash. And Wolfwood ends up dying instead in a very dramatic death scene. God-damn! And just that scene where Milly is sobbing freakin’ eats you up inside.

At least she had one night of passion before the unfortunate happened!

Vash hates the thought of having to kill anyone. But he might not have a choice if Knives is coming after him and even hires a powerful foe from a previous episode and the guy that killed Wolfwood to take you out. Once Vash met up with Knives, he winds up having some pretty sick flashbacks of Knives. But our homeboy was able to take out Knives, the desert area gets water, and…

I’m gonna have to read the fucking manga for more, right?

Tap dancing fuck!

BADLANDS RUMBLE: 12 years after the series ended, Japan decides to release a side-story in the form of a movie, bringing back our favorite characters like Vash, Wolfwood, Milly, and Meryl. And yes, reuniting the cast…in Japan.

By 2010, Geneon was as good as dead and FUNimation licensed Trigun. In short, they managed to get Johnny Young Bosch to reprise his role as Vash the Stampede. But everyone else was replaced. And surprisingly, the people they got to do Wolfwood and Milly were pretty freakin’ close to their original voices. Meryl’s voice, come on I know Luci Christian any-damn-where! Vash helps a young lady take out a big-bad guy (who turns out to be his father). And it has the feel of the original series where it’s set in a western town with lots of booze and shoot-em-ups! It’s an interesting side-story to the Trigun trilogy.

Trigun was a pretty good anime. I mean, not one of my favorites, but I can definitely see a lot of people sticking by this classic. Maybe you can chalk up my blah attitude to the fact that I’m not fond of westerns and I kinda took it out on Trigun. Or the fact that there was so much more that the anime could have covered before the end and the ending kinda felt off to me! Like I thought I was expecting more. But I suppose that’s what mangas are for. To be honest, the stories that really grabbed my attention were the back-stories with Vash and Knives and Wolfwood’s final episode.

*sniffles* At least Milly got one night of passion before he died!

If you would like to check out Trigun, all the episodes are available through FUNimation and Hulu (in both Japanese and English). And if you really like the anime, why not purchase the hard copies? Both the series and movie are available for home video.

Okay, that took me a while, but I’m glad to finish Trigun. What’s next on the FUNimation list?

EEHHHHHEEEHHHE

Fuck is that supposed to mean? What is that? Is that even in English?

YOU WILL BE HORRIBLY MUTILATED: The Isekai

Do you mean Re:Zero? That’s great…but that review’s not ready yet. And it probably won’t be until after April 2021! So let’s cast caution to the wind and pick another FUNimation licensed anime.

You’re watching Sarazanmai next. It’s best if you don’t ask questions.

Sarazanmai? The fuck does that even mean?!

OH. MY. GOD.

[lordseochangbin]

50 shades of changbin: part two

hiccup changbin raised his hand over his mouth, hiccup.

fuck, what was this? changbin hadn’t felt this way since he met the girl he lost his virginity to in college. he wasn’t a fuck boy, those who thought so are all wrong.

but the way you walked in that day, pencil skirt hugging tight around his waist... your pretty doe eyes blinking nervously at him... it made his muscles tense.

you were the perfect sub, he could see it right through you. and to be honest he didn’t mean to be so straightforward on the day of the interview, but he couldn’t help it. the way your hands gripped on his thighs... the way your tounge wrapped around his-

knock knock

“come in” changbin said, shaking his head to leave his previous thoughts behind

you gave the door a small push, the creaking sound loud and noticeable before peeking inside.

“your first day, come in y/n”

you walked in, the sound of your heels clicking on the glossy floor before you could yourself stray in the middle of the room.

oh, the way his mouth watered at the sight of you. his mind drifting away, like he wanted you to go to sub space. he wanted you to strip down for him right there in the middle of his office. but you were seemed shy, typical smartasses.

“first day, im pretty sure i did a pretty good job yesterday as well” you said, hoping to make him laugh. to your surprise he did, but it was more like a dark chuckle.

so she’s funny? what a surprise, changbin thought. “and i expect you to do an even better job next time as well” changbin replied, making you cough out a nervous laugh at what he was referring to.

“yeah...” you blurred out, “im gonna go... back to the office! umm i think there’s some work on the desk ill get started on it” turned around on your heels, you dashed out of the office.

god, the way he made you feel.

————

no one likes to work off of others. so when changbin’s old secretary left (and god knows what he did with her) she left all her unfinished duties to you.

you laid on the carpet room of your small apartment, your laptop in front of you as you scrolled through all the emails the previous lady had left for you.

you scrolled through your emails before seeing a bolded letter notification that seemed somewhat important. marked ‘please read’ you opened the email to see a due date of today. today?!

reading over the long paragraph you realized how crucial the email was, an email so important it needed the CEO’s signature.

you quickly grabbed your phone, the rubber from your phone case creating an unpleasant noise as it was dragged along the wooden floor before it was up in your hands to call the office.

“hey! hey this is y/n... the whole secretary... yeah that’s right. well, i found this old email and it says it needs the CEO’s signature. his house?” fuck. his house.

“isn’t there anyone else that can do it for me?” you asked, you eyes glowing in anticipation for an answer.

“no? no. ok send me the address ill be there”

————

changbin got the phone call that you were on your way and fuck was he nervous. he looked around in fear of his own mess.

what was this mansion home? so much space for so much mess. he started with the bottles on the floor, some from days he couldn’t remember, then moved on to the office.

he couldn’t even remember the last time he had someone over, typically events and such were at other people’s houses. how was he supposed to act? oh god, how should he dress?

formal? casual? pretend like he just got home from a date? and what was that stench in the room? changbin quickly sweeped the floor and hopped in the floor realized that it was he who smelled bad. yikes.

you probably rang the door bell more than three times before pulling your phone out of your back pocket to call the office again. sadly enough, you realized you didn’t have changbin’s personal cell but for now you knew his address.

was it weird to be here? you just sucked his guy’s dick yesterday and now you’re at his house? your hands played with the hemm of your shirt, your fingers tying around it nervously as you waiting for him to (hopefully) answer the door.

after hearing the sound of what should be changbin’s home phone, you heard the grunts of a man cursing from inside before the door could open.

“yo y/n i am so sorry...”

fuck.

there he was, seo changbin, standing by the door in just a towel to cover his bottom half.

“... i was in the shower and i heard you’ve been waiting outside in the cold so i ran out like this.”

he let out a hand giving you permission to come in and your took your first steps inside. “don’t worry, nothing i haven’t seen before” you said in a sarcastic tone

changbin could only chuckle at your response, taking one hand to close the door behind you. “should i drop it then?” he asked

“no- NO. i mean, no.. mr.seo that’s not. that’s totally not necessary” you replied with a nervous chuckle

“alright, probably not that welcoming i suppose. make your self comfortable while i change, but not too comfortable” he winked before leaving.

you watched him as he left, his strong muscles prominent from behind as he walked away. you took a quick glance around, how long has it been since someone has cleaned this place? you walked over to the nearest table, swiping a finger to pick up a significant amount of dust.

“ages. literally ages.” you took a deep breath in relief though. the night before you thought about your boss, whether he had a girlfriend or even worse- a wife. the amount of guilt that could’ve broken down on you knowing he was taken would’ve guiding you to quit, but now you were sure there was no worry.

it was a big mansion home as well, you took a few seconds to stare at his long line of photos before finding one of him and a girl. she reminded you of a friend of yours but you thought nothing of it, assuming it was changbin’s sibling or something.

after taking a look of all the photos, you decided to look back at the one of changbin and the girl because the face seemed all too familiar. that was before changbin could fold the photo down. “hey, no need to look too closely. you did a better job” he snickered, “ill get you something to drink and we can talk about the papers”

“got it” you replied, watching him leave before noticing the keys that fell off of his pocket.

“changbin...” you called before he could respond, “ill be there in a second, feel free to look around” he simply replied

you ran to the fallen keys and picked them up, putting them in your pocket. “ill give these to him later” you told yourself.

the house was huge. like MEGA huge. like GIGANTIC. you couldn’t figure out where to start. hallways felt like roads, most rooms being empty or with a simple couch and bed. you found yourself and twists and turns, and soon it felt like a maze.

you found yourself so far you didn’t know how to go back, you figured to keep doing until there was a dead end. bad choice. you kept going until you could find a maroon color door, a gold tint to the door knob as you looked at the lock.

“is it this?” you asked yourself, pulling out the key from your pocket. it seemed like it fit perfectly, but should you unlock it?

no. maybe you should leave it. he could be hiding something personal in there. the more you stared at the knob the more you wanted to open it, your mind and your inner desires taking hold of a hands on fight before you could find yourself turning the knob.

the door opens silently in front of you, leaving you to a dark area and you force yourself to walk inside even though you know you shouldn’t. finding the light switch you turn it out.

and that gasp you let out. you had never been this in shock since the day you won president at your school’s debate team. it was as shocking as your brother’s first win in tennis.

handcuffs, ropes, ties, vibrators, you name it. the metal cuffs on the wall. the untouched bed in the middle of the room. it almost felt surreal, like you took step in a porn star movie. was this all his?

goosebumps filled your skin as you felt the presence of another figure in the room. hands from behind you carressing your arms. the slight breath near your ear sent your heart race to an irregular pace.

“you shouldn’t be here... princess”

[pokeverse-amethyst]

Sooooo… this is gonna be a long one, strap in. What follows is a metric ton of HCs about every single evil team and how they have worked themselves into every aspect of daily life, as to make them way more difficult to get rid off than just with a couple of arrests. Timeline wonkiness when trying to explain what likely happened first is to be expected, I’m playing fast and loose with all of this stuff. I might be way off topic in some regards but HECK HERE GOES. ~~~

TEAM ROCKET: This is pretty much of a no-brainer. What we have here is a classical mafia structure, and you just need to look at countries with extensive mafia presence to know that they are baked into every single fucking thing. Giovanni has worked years upon years to cement himself straight into Kanto and Johto, consequently making it impossible for any of the other teams to even THINK about gaining a foothold there. No further explanations necessary. ~~~ TEAM AQUA / TEAM MAGMA: This one is a bit of a more difficult one. But then again, let’s presume that most of the teams recruit a mixture of people who fully believe in the team’s message, who misunderstand the team’s message, and who see themselves in the team, but not necessarily in the message (so just looking for somewhere to belong and to gain some kind of direction). Oh, and monetary gain. Can’t forget that. So in the case of both Aqua and Magma? I like to believe it started out with Maxie and Archie working together on a plan to give nature back to Pokémon. Like, with trying to get more protected zones established, kinda like Fiore has them? But they were hitting resistance too often. Now I’m not saying that they were on the wrong track from the start or developed into what is basically eco-terrorists, but… they probably saw way too much bad shit happening to Pokémon around them. Maybe they heard what Team Rocket was doing to Pokémon in Johto and Kanto. Maybe they heard rumors about what Cyrus nearly accomplished, what Lysandre almost triggered, what Ghetsis managed to fuck up with his whole power play madness (TWICE, too!), what the Aether foundation might have had triggered if not for the intervention of a Legendary, what Rose made possible in the GALAR REGION of all places… Suffice to say, they probably felt like they needed to seriously up their game… to make sure that the other teams didn’t fuck up the world beyond repair before THEY could make the world a better place. The only thing that finally broke Archie and Maxie up though, was an inability to settle on what would be better. More landmass, more sea? What would be the gentler way of resetting humanity? Suffice to say, their vision might have attracted way too many who nudged them along. So TLDR: Archie and Maxie mostly reacted to what the other Team Bosses were doing and were helped along by Grunts/Admins that were way too into the whole “we will be the only humans deserving this new, shiny world”. They were numerous enough and determined enough to turn into a slightly terroristic group, but until the ultimate use of Kyogre/Groudon, they never really registered that much on Interpol’s radar. And when Interpol learned of them stealing a whole ass sub? It was already too late stopping them in their tracks in time. After all, Interpol had all the other regions to monitor as well… ~~~ TEAM GALACTIC: So. Charon doesn’t need much of a head canon fuckery. He just did it for the money, that much he stated openly. And Jupiter, Mars and Saturn? They all admitted openly to being along for the ride because they believed in Cyrus and the world being fucked up beyond repair, thus needing a good ol’ divine intervention from the whole-ass creation trio. But I don’t think any single one of them fully understood what Cyrus’s goal was. The commanders (that are not Charon) squarely fall into the category of “misunderstanding the ultimate purpose of the team”, as do all the Grunts. And as mentioned above with Team Aqua and Magma, Galactic probably saw some of the stuff that was happening around them and ultimately decided (and this is mostly for the Grunts and the Commanders) that Cyrus probably wasn’t so far off with the human spirit being incomplete. But they made one crucial mistake (pretty much the whole team, even Charon). They thought that Cyrus’s assertion over the incomplete nature of the human spirit was a reason for the man to believe in a world that should be made whole, not in wiping the whole fucking slate clean and going Tabula Rasa on the whole of creation. Much to the annoyance of everyone involved (and with that I mean the Creation Trio and the big boss of them), he actually went far enough to step on everything just to gain the power to control the legendaries. Also, time to unearth an already yoinked HC of mine that Giratina mostly retreated into the Distortion World to get some good alone time in, only to be disrupted by Cyrus bursting in. On that point also: time not really working all that clearly in the Distortion World. Kinda like Narnia rules, in as there is no fixed constant for time moving forward in either one or the other extreme. Sometimes, time will move forward extremely fast, other times, you spend years and years in the Distortion World and only a few seconds passed. After all, everything gets a bit… wobbly in there. But around the time Cyrus entered, Distortion World time became… more orderly. And that was what prompted Giratina to go VERY UNAMUSED ON HIS ASS. Think of it as time being influenced by what is thrown into the Distortion World. BACK to the Team, though. Galactic honest to Arceus believed that what they were doing would give the world a much needed boost… and were unpleasantly surprised when they were later on all shown that Cyrus wanted to go destruction and rebirth on the world. But that is not to say everyone was unhappy about this revelation. ~~~ TEAM PLASMA & NEO PLASMA: What easier time to convince disparate beliefs than with the apparent reason that they were just helping Pokémon that would have been unhappy in the care of their trainers? Wether the Grunts believed that the Pokémon should then consequently be released back into the wild or that they THEMSELVES deserved the Pokémon way more than others? What easier way to convince them of Plasma’s ideals? And there was no real discussion amongst the Grunts over this dichotomy. Sure, a few were disputing the one or the other stance, but most were still agreeing that the trainers they took the Pokémon from did NOT deserve them. No matter how pure their reasoning was. No matter how reality really looked like. Sure, they were removing Pokémon from some really nasty trainers? But on the greater scale of things, they mostly took Pokémon from trainers who they loved being with. And Ghetsis had his thumb on this a lot. See, Ghetsis didn’t want N to sway too much, before he finally met the protagonist. So Ghetsis made sure that only obviously abused Pokémon removed from trainers were brought to N. …why, no, this doesn’t mean at all that they were usually just from the outside. Ya think Ghetsis only had his main team? Dream on. ~~~ TEAM FLARE: What is there to say about Team Flare? They are basically a mix of the worst of the self-viewed elite of the region. There is entitlement to being viewed as the best of the best (and you can’t tell ‘em otherwise), there is doomsday fans who would do the whole shit with bunkering down and then fighting in an apocalyptic wasteland and fancying themselves new leaders in that changed world, there’s the ones who just think they will be able to surpass even Lysandre… What about the Admins of Flare? They half share Lysandre’s views of beauty. But mostly, they are in too deep to quit, and also half about relishing the fact that they get to work on something truly unique and devastating. They want this whole power thing to work out for them because some time in their lives, they might have felt like they were owed power and didn’t receive it. They were owed recognition and didn’t receive it. They want to be the new top of Kalos without working TOO hard for it. Without anything laying rocks in their path. Without any obstacles telling them that, no. They fucked up. ~~~ AETHER FOUNDATION: The moment Lusamine found out about the Ultra Dimension, she ostensibly was lost to her goal of getting her hands on the power to change the face of the world. And to preserve beauty. In many ways, her goal was similar to Lysandre… to a degree. The Aether Foundation is half staffed by people who truly believe that conservation work is the most important factor in the Pokémon World, to preserve some of the more endangered species around the world, and half staffed by people who truly believe that the Ultra Dimension holds answers to problems humanity might not even have recognized as such. This latter half was unpleasantly surprised when they started to learn the truth from the Ultra Dimension researchers. Finding out that Necrozma had destroyed the natural light of that world and was now the only source of more light for the city? That was a shock. But that didn’t necessarily mean that the Aether Foundation would have been broken up by that. Because honestly? The part of the conservation enthusiasts who were not deterred by the Ultra Dimension incident made the Foundation bloom beyond what it was possible to become. So in short: this foundation survived its leader far better than many others, and actually managed to get accepted. ~~~ MACRO COSMOS: This is the team that shocked their region with just how far their influence had gone. And that is to say that they existed at all, right under the noses of the region. Rose’s whole deal is a big part why Leon would later be plunged into a crisis of conscience, despite everyone assuring him that he had no way of knowing just how far Rose was willing to go to show the region how wrong it was to not immediately acquiesce to all that he envisioned for the future. The mere fact Rose was UNWILLING to wait what would at most have been half a day for Leon, to celebrate with the others after another big Champion Tournament? That was what sat so ill with many in the region. It wasn’t so much the message that Rose felt everyone had missed (that was actually just his version of events - most of the Macro Cosmos Grunts were attached to him solely for the reason of having privileges that none other had, and when they saw how he was acting, only the most dedicated few could ignore what was going on). So we are dealing with another team that was shocked how far the leader would go, but even more so than the Aether Foundation, the members scattered when Rose enacted the Darkest Day right out of nowhere. There is still worries that remains of Macro Cosmos could be out there, trying to bust Oleana and Rose out of prison and actually finding another way with which to scare Galar into complicity. How well that would even go is a whole different question… because the new champ is even stronger than Leon, and THAT is real fucking bad news for anyone who would want to establish themselves.

[iammyfather]

There are a couple of places that need translation.  

“ But even some staunch supporters, such as Berry, agree it's time to review the costs and benefits of the state's solar policies, as one response to a report last fall that found they would lead to higher bills for electricity ratepayers.”

This translates to “Conservatives found an early estimate that if everything happens exactly the way they claim here, electric costs while skyrocket for a period of time.”

“ His measure excludes projects that began seeking approvals prior to Jan. 1. That's crucial, according to Jeremy Payne, executive director of the Maine Renewable Energy Association. His group represents companies that are putting hundreds of millions of dollars into clean-energy development and are planning further investments. “

This translates to: “If we can get this on the docket, it will delay any future projects by at least another year.  During which time we can think up something else.”

A very honest comment “ If we change the rules in the middle of the game, it will be very damaging at the wrong moment," Payne said. "If we send the wrong signal, they will leave."

“ He's introducing measures that would eliminate the net energy billing program and cap the value of certain clean-energy contracts. Stewart said he doesn't want to kill the solar industry, just make the benefits more fair. “

This statement just needs explaining.  If out of State contracts are limited to size, the larger more efficient companies will not apply and the smaller companies that would have subbed are now unable to get work from the larger companies.  In this case a true trickle down that will not occur.

“ This unprecedented activity is being spurred by policies and laws enacted since 2019, aimed at encouraging a rapid shift away from oil and gas to renewable electric power for running cars and heating buildings. “

Well that doesn’t need any translation to show where the problem arose.

“So many solar projects are pending that it has been taxing the ability of Central Maine Power to connect them all. The PUC has opened an investigation into the root cause 

.POLICY TOO GENEROUS?”

NO, I did say this is once again a failure in Infrastructure.  And not in load carrying either, but in general load, if as they imply the capacity drops off as you get away from traditional power sources, that means they lack the agility to switch lines if demand shifts or one of the current plants has trouble.  And with climate change they may not worry about winter storms, but  hurricane could arrive any day.