#this was the episode that made me start this series

[thebestofoneshots]

Gilded Constellations | (wolfstar x reader)

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Pairing: Wolfstar x Reader Word Count: 7.7 K Warnings: Angst (like pretty much every chapter so far). ♡THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SMUT ♡: fingering, masturbati*n, Soft!Sirius, dirty dreams, Needy!Remus. Consent is Sexy! Prompt: The moon is so close and Rem can't control his isnticts as much as he'd wish. And so, he gives into his desires (sort of). This IS a Wolfstar x reader fic, but it's incredibly slow burn. They won't start all dating each other until we're very deep into the story, but I promise the long wait will be worth it

Chapter 51: Some Guys Have all the Luck

♡ SMUT BELOW ♡

“You think Remus’ll be alright?” You asked as you lay on the bed, looking up at James’ fancy mouldings.  

Sirius sighed. “Yeah, the Moon is tomorrow and we had a bit of an argument earlier…” 

You leaned on your elbow and turned to him, “Wait really, about what?” 

“Nothing relevant, just– it was stupid, but I think that’s why he skipped the cuddles today.” 

“Pair of idiots,” you said as you pulled onto his hair. 

“Oi!” he complained, and then smiled devilishly, you knew he was going to kiss you even before he leaned closer and pressed his mouth to yours. It was meant to be a short kiss, but you parted your mouth and sucked on his lip in a way you knew he loved and he couldn’t pull apart. 

Sirius placed his hands on either side of you and slid one of them under your shirt as you kissed. It was nothing he hadn’t done before, but it felt different now, since you knew how far you were both willing to take it. 

“May I make you feel as good as you made me feel earlier?” he whispered into your mouth. 

You smiled and pressed another kiss to his mouth in response, seconds later, Sirius traced his hand down your stomach, and further down, slipping his hand under the hem of your pyjama pants and pinching the side of your leg. You bit his lip in retort and he smiled at your eagerness. 

He was slow, slower now than in the fae pool as he traced your slit, just on the outside of your knickers until he dug in. “Fuck, you’re so wet,” he whispered, more to himself than to you and then brought his hand up to his face and sniffed, his finger almost brushing his lips. You swallowed at the sight, you wanted to tease him for it, but it had been one of the hottest things you had ever seen him do. 

He dug his hand back in and started to roll his fingers in the way he had learned you liked and he had you sighing and panting while you bit your lip, trying not to make too much noise. That was when the door slammed open. 

Remus had gone up to the room to change into something more comfortable for the night, and the last thing he was expecting was to find you and Sirius making out on the bed. On the same fucking bed he had slept last night and would probably sleep on the next. “Sorry,” he said as he spotted you and averted his gaze, not without realising where Sirius’ hand had been. He tried not to think too much about it. Not about Sirius stating you had been amazing and incredible and fantastic and everything great because then, he would have jumped in the bed right in between the two of you. “I- ugh… just came to get some clothes,” he added, rushing towards his trunk and taking the first thing he found before. 

You gave Sirius a look and nodded for him to go speak to Remus. He shook his head and pressed a finger to your folds. Remus was still in the fucking room. You threw him a stern look and pouted. “Go,” you mouthed. 

Sirius made a bit of an exaggerated expression but took his hand from your pants and stood from the bed. 

“Hey Moons, can we talk?” he asked as he pressed his hand on the boy’s shoulder. By now you had turned around and placed a pillow over your head trying to hide the mortifying embarrassment that consumed you. 

“What?” Remus asked, voice a tone higher, he didn’t miss the glistening on Sirius’ other hand, but the hardest thing to ignore was the smell. Fucking hell, they smell like sin. Remus would have gone to hell to be able to bask in it. It was obvious what you had been doing and he was –for a second time that day– wishing he had borrowed James’ cloak, to at least be able to watch. 

I’m a terrible friend, he thought. But Sirius looked genuinely concerned, and it was that honest look in his beautiful eyes that brought him back to reality. “I’m sorry,” Sirius said and bit his lip, leaning closer to Moony. “I was a bit of an ass, I was very excited but that’s no excuse. I shouldn’t have told you about all those,” his lips almost brushed on Moony’s cheek, “details.” 

Sirius was having an internal turmoil of his own, Remus looked so handsome with his casual band shirt and tousled hair, his lips were pink as if he had bitten them and he wanted to kiss them in the same way he had kissed you. He had leaned into him on purpose, he wanted to feel him, which is why his hand was on his shoulder, and he’d wanted to smell him too. He always smelled as delightful as you did, of course, he felt like shit for it.

He had quite literally been making out with you, fingers touching you and it had been so thrilling and then new, lewd thoughts had invaded his mind, but they didn’t include you. Not only you at least. He might have been the worst boyfriend on the face of the earth. Perhaps that’s how his father had been to his mother and that’s why they resented each other so much, perhaps he had also been thinking of someone else, or fantasising about things that weren’t meant to be, ever. 

“It’s okay, we got over that, Pads.” 

“But you– you skipped cuddles and–” 

“Because of my throat,” Remus lied, trying to ignore the bulge forming in his pants and the slight tent on Sirius’ from whatever the hell you had been up to –he did not want to think about it in specifics. Resisting the bIoody temptation to take Sirius’ hands and smell what he’d been doing, to lick the shine away. He held the blush creeping up his cheek at the mere idea of it. “I’m… uh” –he hesitated– “I’m gonna go,” he added, bunched up the clothes in his hands and walked towards the exit. “Good night, Little Witch!” 

“Night Rem,” you said, still under the pillow. 

Sirius was quick to walk back to the bed, “Sorry about–” 

“Next time we spell shut that door,” you said, voice muffled by the sheets under your face. Sirius pressed a tender kiss to your hair and started to rub your back in soft circles, he knew you must have been embarrassed. 

“It was just Moony, he’s seen us do worse–” 

“He has not,” you said, cheeks burning. “He must have been so shocked, damn it.” 

“Well, I mean, It’s only natural–” You shoved him and he laughed, pressing another kiss to your hair. 

You let out a long sigh and then turned to him,  lifting the pillow and leaning your head on it instead, “Hold up, did you wash your hand?” 

“Why would I, it smells great.” 

Remus would have agreed. 

“Ugh… Puppy,” you said with a disgusted expression. He pouted and brought it into his mouth, this time sucking on his fingers in the most lewd way you had ever seen, your eyes went wide before you hit his shoulder. “Such a dog!” 

“They’re clean now, though,” he said as he showed both fingers and moved them for you to see.

You scoffed wryly and hit him again, he only laughed, pressed a short kiss to your lips, and then another one, and then one more until your disgruntled expression was gone. Stupid Sirius Black, he could be so bIoody sweet if he wanted to. And he knew. 

“Veux-tu me câliner, Étoile?” He asked, voice soft, his eyes filled with mirth as if he knew you wouldn’t refuse. 

You sighed. “Sirius,” you smiled. 

“S’il te plaît?”

You scoffed and leaned in close to him, wrapping your arms around his torso and leaning your head on his chest, he pulled you closer when he had the chance, and leaned into your ear, “We’ll finish what we started earlier on a different day,” he promised. 

“Shh,” you said in return, still worried someone might get in. That Remus would get in again. The things he’ll think of us, the images stuck in his head, you thought, still distressed. 

And images in his head there were. He was trying to think of anything else, anything that would drag his thoughts away from what he’d seen, away from what Sirius had told him, away from his sheen-coated fingers, but it all kept coming back to him. 

Sleep, he had to sleep. That would surely make him forget. He went to get one of the sleeping potions that Pomfrey had given him and took a few sips before throwing himself on the bed and hiding his face with the pillow. The potion, thankfully worked its magic on him and he was asleep sooner than later, thoughts gone, and mind blank. 

Until it wasn’t. Remus didn’t dream very often, his sleep deprivation often stopped him from getting his needed rest and when he dreamed, it was mostly after the moon when he was doped with sleep meds. He didn’t think of that when he downed the potion, he only wanted to get his mind off things in that instant. 

And he didn’t have those kinds of dreams often either. Sure, he’d had a lot of them back in 3rd and 4rth year when he was figuring himself out, and sure he had been horrified by some of them when he woke up until he accepted who he was and what he liked. But he didn’t have those as much anymore. Of course, they’d have to come back that day. 

In his dream, the two of you had invited him to the fae pool, you had told him he had to see the colours and then Sirius had proposed for the three of you to get in. That’s when things got lewd. Both you and Sirius stripped and threw yourselves into the water. Kissing each other and then kissing him. It had been so real, he could feel your bodies against his, he could feel your wet kisses on his mouth and lips. He woke up in a heap of sweat and groaned when he realised how hard he was. 

“Fuck,” he said and turned to look at his pants. Feeling mortified over having sexualised his two best friends like that. What would you even think of him if you found out? Would you stop talking to him, would you tell him how much of a pervert he was? 

Fucking Sirius, he had put all those images on his head and things were only getting worse. Walking, he thought, a little bit of walking might take my mind off things. Or a book, I could get that book I left in the living room. Remus took a deep breath, adjusted his tight trousers as best as he could and quietly walked down the stairs. He walked from the living room towards the kitchen, and then to the entrance hall. It was the longest aisle that was also the furthest from the house so he started pacing there. 

Long strides, from the door to the archway that led into the living room and then back. He was thinking about homework and about things he had to study and about anything he could think of that wasn’t you and Sirius. But of course, you always went back to his mind. Either on the Fae Pool, which he had a very clear image on his head by now, or on the bed, with Sirius’ hand digging under your pants and touching you. 

Fuck… fuck.. fuck! Remus couldn’t get the godricdamned smell off his head. It was as if it was fucking there. As if you were fucking there. It was probably because of the moon, his senses were always a mess when the moon was so close and it was proving to be a real fucking nightmare to try and fight against the urges of the wolf. 

Hold up, he couldn’t get the smell off his nose either. He looked around, searching on the corners of the room trying to locate the source of the smell, his eyes finally locked to his coat. 

“My coat?” he wondered as he approached the offending item. He took in his hands and leaned in. “Fuck!”

He quickly remembered Sirius had taken his coat when he left, but it smelled heavily like you. All of it, it was saturated with your smell. It was as if you were there with him, both of you since it still smelled like Sirius. But your smell was much more prominent. He couldn’t understand why until he felt the trace of magic, a drying spell. 

She wore it when wet. FUCK, SHE WORE IT WHEN WET!

The image now solidified in his mind wasn’t helping his case, you wearing his coat, and nothing other than his coat sent another rush of bIood down. He sniffed the coat, burying his head inside of it when he felt his cheeks burn. Lust? Embarrassment? Shame? What was the difference at this point? Moony wouldn’t care. 

Sirius, behind you, placing the coat on you, lightly brushing his fingers on your shoulder before allowing it to wrap around you. Your nipples hard from the cold air after being in such a warm pool brushing against the rough fabric. Sirius looking flushed, his hair still wet and cascading down his bare shoulders. It was an absolute visage. 

Remus felt his pants tightening even more. He knew then that there would be no other way out of this other than through. Perhaps if he used those images now, they’d lose the power they had over him, and then he would get over the stupid crush that kept gnawing at him. He bit his lips in shame as he reached down with one of his hands, gently unlacing the bow on his chequered sleep pants before digging his hand inside. 

He groaned when he felt how hard he’d gotten with the mere imagery of you and Sirius. He hid his shame-filled face on the coat and smelled again, allowing the scents to enrapture him as he patted himself, lightly, teasingly, a soft and much-needed release to his struggle. When he wrapped his hand around his cock, he bit his lip even sharper to hold back a groan, using his other hand to push part of the coat into his face in an attempt to muffle the sound. He moved his hand over his boxers, tracing himself softly until he grew tired and desperate and dug his hand behind the elastic. 

He was painfully hard. And he almost flinched when he felt his hand wrap around himself. He then remembered yours, how much softer it was, how much smaller, he imagined it was you and not him the one touching him, he pretended his scars were your fading broom marks and that it was your thumb brushing against his tip in the way he liked it instead of his. 

He imagined the coat was your shoulder, and that Sirius was just behind the two of you, pressing gentle kisses to his temple and hair as he praised the muffled sounds Remus was trying to hide. He remembered the way your bodies felt pressed into his. Back in the snow day, and when you cuddled, how one was soft, and gentle, and the other toned and strong. Sirius’ smile, Sirius’ hair, your hair, your lips, he had kissed your lips, what a lovely taste they had held. Sirius’ kiss, much longer ago, much shorter than the one he’d given you, but just as present in his mind. 

Remus completely lost himself on the thought of you as he stroked, becoming number and dumber to the world outside of him. So enraptured in what he imagined you sounded like, that he completely missed the quiet steps coming down the stairs. 

You had woken up a few minutes ago, the fact that Remus had refused cuddles still nagging you. You laid there, looking up at the mouldings again while you heard James’ light snoring and Sirius’ soft and warm breath. Something was missing. 

Remus was missing. 

It was his soft breath, his warm hands, the pleased smile he sometimes had while he was sleeping. You had gotten so fucking used to it these past few days, they had been the reassuring sounds and sights that tied you back to reality and away from Christmas, and you missed it, and you felt ridiculous over the fact that you did. You couldn’t depend on him, he was your best friend but he was also only your best friend. He didn’t owe anything to you, let alone to be the comforting figure whenever you felt triggered or had a sad memory. 

It wasn’t his duty to deal with your problems, it was no one’s obligation. You’d have to learn to deal with your own shit, not become so attached to your friends that you become dysfunctional without them. You were sure Remus would eventually find someone who liked him, who loved him, truly did. And then what would be of you? 

No matter how much you loved him, you couldn’t afford to hinge on him the way you had so far, you couldn’t hinge on anyone like that. You had never done it, and you wouldn’t start to crumble apart and do it now that things got harder. If you had to deal with it on your own, then you’d find a way. At least you were good with that.

“You okay?” Sirius asked when he noticed the stirring on the bed. Eyes closed and hand searching for you. 

“Yeah,” you said softly, placing your hand on his head and brushing his curls behind his ear, enjoying the softness of his features underneath your thumbs. “Just thirsty.” 

“Want me to come down with you?” 

“No, don’t worry, Luv,” you said. “I’ll just get some water and come back,” you added and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. He smiled when he felt your lips on his face and kept that smile even as you slid off the bed and looked for a pair of shoes. 

You were quick and quiet as you walked down the stairs, walking straight to the kitchen and serving yourself a simple glass of water. You had just brought it to your lips when you heard a strained sound. You frowned and placed the water back on the table, paying close attention to the sounds. You heard it again, and then something close to a sob. 

Remus! You thought as you looked around worried. Is he crying? you wondered. He had been there for you every single time, you weren’t about to go back and ignore it completely. You weren’t sure where he was, but decided to be quiet as you looked for him, since you didn’t want to scare him off before you got close enough to wrap your arms around him and comfort him. 

The sounds were soft and almost imperceptible, as if was using something to muffle his sobs. Not in the living room, definitely not in the kitchen. You were so worried for him that you didn’t even realise that he wasn’t crying while you followed the sounds. Finally, you found where he was. When you spotted him he was hunched against the coat rack, right next to the door, head buried in his coat. 

You took a step forward, ready to embrace him when you heard something that sounded nothing like a sob, and everything like a moan. Your eyes went wide, and your breath hitched in your throat. Another moan, and then a grunt. You stared, one of his hands was holding the coat to his face, the other one… the other one was moving, quite fast. You turned around in an instant, cheeks burning as you squeezed your eyes shut and tried to delete the image of Remus jerking off from your brain. 

Ragged breaths, panting, moaning, how the hell had you confused that with sobbing and tears? You felt like an intruder, interfering with his private moment. Although he had done it in the fucking entrance hall, what the fuck was he thinking? 

You decided not to question his actions and after gulping, you started with slow, quiet steps towards the stairs. Much quieter now than you had been before since you knew he had exceptional hearing. 

I shouldn’t be listening to this, I shouldn’t be listening to this, you thought. 

Remus, still wrapped up in his mind, hadn’t even heard a thing, not your hitched breath nor your stumbling while you tried to get out. He was still in the fae pool, his head buried in your hair and now Sirius’ hand around his cock. 

What a wondrous thing the mind can be, not even his dream had been as lively as his imagination was proving to be at the moment. “Fuck,” he whispered when he felt he was close, you had just pressed a kiss to his neck. Sirius’ hand movements had become much faster as he fucked into it, now hip thrusts meeting with hand strokes. 

And then he felt it, the rush of adrenaline surging through him. “Sirius,” he whispered, soft, but clear as water. His mind now brought him back to the real world as he realised the kisses weren’t real and the smell that felt so vivid came only from the coat. What a sublime and yet wretched thing had that coat become in a matter of minutes. It had gone from his two best friends, to a simple coat, and then one stained in his cum, he hadn’t even had enough time to catch it with his hand.

What? you thought as you turned back to the door. Did I imagine that? you wondered, but the ragged breath, the soft sound of Remus’ voice, it hadn’t been strained, it wasn’t debatable whether he had said  Cyprus or Sirius. It had been fucking evident, clean cut and obvious. Painfully so. 

Remus Lupin had cum on his hand while thinking of Sirius Black. Your boyfriend Sirius Black.

There was another course, and then Remus’ soft voice again, “Evanesco.” 

You swallowed and ran towards the bathroom, closing the door as quietly as possible and then locking yourself inside. You sat on the toilet seat and ran your hands through your hair. Maybe he had said Cyprus. Maybe it was a different Sirius. 

But sweeter lies couldn’t have been told, it was obvious. It had been obvious for a while but you had been blind to it. Blinded by the love we have for our friends, you remembered, it had been Remus the one to tell you that. 

But it really had been there all along, the way he looked at Sirius sometimes, a look that you’d found interesting but weren’t sure why. The way he talked about him, the way his hands would linger on Sirius’ the way he seemed to always be around. How he had looked at Sirius back at the Halloween party, how he had run away the minute Sirius had licked his face. 

How he had gone straight to Alice and kissed his sorrows away, and you, you had been kissing Sirius too, displaying all the love and affection you felt to each other for his torment. No wonder Moony was often angry, no wonder he sometimes stepped away from you and Sirius. 

No fucking wonder, he hadn’t cuddled with Vixen and Pads that night. If Sirius told him– if he guessed, what had happened in the fae pool… You let out a soft, defeated breath. You had been displaying your affection for Sirius, waving it like a flag in the air while your best friend was deeply in love with him.

Fuck he saw us in the room too, you thought then, Sirius kissing you, his hand deep in your pants, and then he went and talked to Moony, touched Moony. Such an unbound cruelty you had committed against your best friend!  Of course, you hadn’t known, and you would have never done it on purpose if you did. But even in your nescience, even in your blindness, you had done it, you had hurt him, and ignorance was no excuse. 

How many times? You wondered, how many times had Remus been forced to see you kissing Sirius? Forced to see you all over each other, perched on his lap, playing with his hair, kissing his face. How many times had you talked to him about Sirius? 

How many times have I made him suffer?

Because, was there anything else he could do? Just sit and watch, in silence. Suddenly you realised, when he told you he liked both men and women and you had thought that he seemed to want to say more, perhaps he was about to confess his feelings for Sirius. You gulped, he had seen you cry, he had seen your red-rimmed eyes, and he had decided to shut up, to swallow his feelings instead of admitting them. For your sake. 

What an extraordinary friend you had, and what a dreadful one you were.

How long had it been since he fell in love with Sirius? How long did he have to suffer being into him? Sirius who went on dates and was known for being a player. The Sirius you hadn’t met but you had heard about from whispers in the halls. The Sirius people talked about when they made bets about the duration of your relationship. 

Secrets, Remus had so many of those, how wrong had you been when you thought you already knew them all...

You silently squeezed your hand on your arm as you reprimanded yourself for being such a terrible friend. What were you to do now? Stop kissing Sirius in public? With what fucking explanation? Sirius loved PDA, the entire world knew it. Perhaps you had to talk to Remus instead, but then again, how would you even go about it? 

‘Hey, I saw you jerking off while thinking of my boyfriend, wanna talk about it?’

You sighed again, defeated, so sure you wouldn’t find a solution, and your mind drifted to Sirius. There is no way he knows, right? 

You were certain he had no idea Moony was bi and if he didn’t know that, then there was no way he knew of the feelings Remus harboured for him, and there was no way to make him understand the dire situation you were both in. Oblivious to the pain you had caused to Remus. Oblivious to the one you continued to infringe. 

You couldn’t even blame Remus for falling in love, you had done the same, you understood him perfectly and it only made you feel worse, that you had been the chosen one and not him. What you’d give to bear his heartache, with everything he had done for you, it was the least he deserved. 

And there was Sirius, always touchy, always soft, always happy to be around Moony, always happy to cuddle him and play with him and touch him, the lingering hands never seen as something bad, the stares met with smiles and games. The concessions he had given him, both for you and for himself. You were sure he wouldn’t allow any other boy to be close to you as he did with Remus, at least not in the same way you were close. 

Wait a minute.

Special concessions: the jumpers, the looks, the touching… what if Sirius-?

There was a soft knocking on the door. “Starshine, are you there?” 

“Sirius? What are you doing here?” 

“I thought something might’ve happened to you, you said you came for water but it’s been a while.” 

“Oh.” Of course, he asked if you wanted him to come along. “Yeah, no. Everything’s fine, I just– girl stuff,” you improvised. 

There was a moment of silence. “Is there anything I can do for you?” 

You stood up and flushed the bathroom, washing your hands and face before stepping out, “Don’t worry about it,” you said as you flashed him a smile. 

He placed his arm around you and the two of you walked back to the room, James still slept like a rock. 

Friday, January 7th, 1977 - Full Moon

Effie and Monty had already left, and they’d be back in the morning with potions for Remus. You’d left Sirius sleeping and James had gone for a very early flight. You joined him when you realised he was gone and tried to fly fast enough to leave your thoughts behind.

It didn’t work, the images of last night would come back to your head every now and then, and you were left speeding so fast it was almost unsafe. James didn’t know of what’d happened last night, but that didn’t mean he didn’t notice your change in demeanour, he just assumed it had to do with the Christmas Party rather than with anything going on in his house.

“Hey! Wait up!” He said as he tried to catch up with you. “You’re going too fast, you’ll lose control.” 

You turned to him with a confused glance and then started to slow down, so fast that James went on a few metres until he realised you had stopped. He turned around and flew your way. He wanted to ask you if you were all right, but he’d already seen –more than once– how you’d clam up after either one of them even referred to what happened at the party, or to your wand problem or to anything even remotely close to it, and today was a beautiful day, he didn’t want to ruin it by being intrusive. 

“Race you home, yeah?” he said instead. 

You smirked at that and nodded, “You’re on.” 

Racing was good, you rarely backed down from a fight, let alone from a game like that. James knew you well enough and he was using that to his advantage, he was aware it’d help you get your mind off whatever was troubling it, and he was determined to help, even if it was by aiding you in the stubborn evasion of your own feelings. 

You were both at the same invisible starting line, looking at each other attentively. “Three…” he started.

“Two…” 

“One, GO!” he said almost a little too fast and took off. 

“Hey, that’s cheating!” you complained with a laugh. 

“You would have caught up with me anyway,” James shouted from a couple of metres ahead as he turned to look at you and then. “Just takin’ a headstart for it to be a more fair race.” 

“It’s still cheating!” You laughed again and leaned over your broom a little, close enough so your own body would cut like a dart through the air instead of offering resistance. You caught up with him in seconds. He looked at you flying next to him and scoffed. He’d expected to at least last a little bit longer in the first place. “Maybe you were right.” 

James scoffed at your cocky words and leaned down on his broom in the same way you had done, trailing next to you, behind by no more than half a metre. “It’s unfair how fast you are!” 

“It’s because I’m smaller, Prongsie, those big shoulders don’t help you all that much!” 

“Lily likes them, though.” 

You laughed at that and picked up some more speed, breaking just before you crashed head-first into one of his windows. 

“That’s bIoody insane!” Sirius said as opened the window to look at James almost crashing face-first onto him. “Don’t fucking injure my girlfriend with your games, Prongs!” 

“There’s a higher chance he gets injured than me,” you said with a laugh from above and flew towards the window. “Sleep well?”

Sirius leaned his elbows on the window sill and then his chin on his hand, he looked very much like a princess from a book. “Not as well as when you were here,” he said with an exaggerated pout.

“Ugh, please!!” James complained. 

You smiled and leaned back on the broom a little. “Hey Prongsie, come over here, will you?” He did as told, you instantly leaned towards him. “What do you see over there?” you whispered as you pointed towards your boyfriend. 

“A twat,” he responded with a shit-eating smirk. Loud enough for Sirius to hear. 

“Oi!” Sirius complained. 

“I mean besides that,” you said with a similar smirk, Sirius looked at you as if he had been betrayed. “I mean, imagine if Sirius had slightly longer hair, golden, letting it fall to the window down to the floor.” 

James cackled after that, the picture so clear and vivid on his head it might as well have been painted, “Like Rapunzel?” 

You nodded and bit your lip, Sirius hadn’t heard, but he looked agitated as the two of you laughed, enough for him to stop leaning so casually on the window, and placing both hands on the sill to lean on them with a slightly bothered scoff. 

“Hey Rapunzel, let down your beautiful hair!” James teased. 

You laughed outwardly at that, Sirius was pouting now, he looked beyond adorable. 

That’s when you remembered another certain lady who used to linger by her window. You smiled, and cleared your throat “But soft what light through the yonder window breaks. It is the east and Sirius is the sun.” 

He gave you an exasperated look.

You bit your lip as you tried to hold a smile. “Arise, fair sun, and kiIl the envious moon.” 

You had not realised it, but Remus was just behind Sirius, witnessing the entire play. The envious moon, it certainly fits me, he thought, almost bitterly. 

“Oh, it is my love, see how he leans his cheek upon that hand. How I wish I were a glove upon that hand that I might touch that cheek.” 

“Oh, please,” Sirius said exasperated, although he was smiling now as if your theatre was as diverting as bothersome. 

“He speaks!” you said exaggeratedly as you turned to James wide-eyed, and then back at Sirius. “Oh, speak again, bright angel” 

“Are you done?” 

“O, wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?” You continued, leaning closer to him. 

“That? Never!” Sirius said as he leaned a little closer to the window. “Come, fair maiden.” 

“Oh for fucks sake, he’s joined her,” James muttered under his breath as he watched the entire scene unfold. 

“Stony limits cannot hold love out,” you said as you flew closer to Sirius, a smile on your face, your nose was brushing against his and you had to bite your lips from the stupid lovesick smile you were withholding. 

Sirius laughed, and placed both of his hands around your face, “What satisfaction can I offer you, Étoile?” 

Did Sirius even read Romeo and Juliet? You wondered as you thought of your next line, “The exchange of thy love's faithful vow for mine… If my heart's dear love—” 

Sirius kissed you, interrupting your ramblings by dragging you towards him. James rolled his eyes from the side. “Oh, blessed, blessed night, I am afraid. Being it night, all this is but a dream…” you said in between a kiss. Dawn had come mere hours ago, your words made almost no sense, but you barely cared.

“Too flattering-sweet to be substantial,” Remus finished. You pulled from the kiss and stared at him. You paled. How long had he been there? How much of your silly game had he seen? 

“Remus, you’re awake.” You said. Sirius, oblivious as he was from what you’d seen last night, turned to Moony with a smile as bright as the star that carried his name. 

“Morning, Moons,” he said. 

Moony took a deep breath, it was a second, almost a flicker of it, but there was a sadness so deep you could almost feel the pang in your own heart. You faltered at it, feeling equally sorrowful. He then smiled, “Morning, Juliet,” he joked, and then turned to you with a soft nod, “Romeo.” 

“Juliet?” Sirius asked, confused, and turned to you. “Who’s Juliet?” 

“What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would still smell as sweet,” Remus replied. 

“It’s… uh–” you started.

“Doff thy name, And for that name which is no part of thee take all myself,” Remus added while looking straight at Sirius. You faltered again. 

Sirius had pulled back just a second, but he was looking into Remus’ eyes so deeply, and so enchanted by them, that you felt like an intruder. Like Romeo and Juliet had found each other and you were nothing more than a Paris or a Rosalind. You were so lost in your thoughts, that you flew to the side, and your boom got caught in a vine, making you lose balance and fall a couple of metres down to the bushes. 

“Vixen!” James said as he sped down, trying to catch you, but by the time he reached you, you were already in between the bushes. They had mostly broken your fall.

The loud thud was enough to break the trance of the boys and they had both leaned over the window to check on you, you heard them both calling, each using their own nickname for you. 

“Hey,” you said with an apologetic smile. Both Remus and Sirius looked mortified, James, who had seen you were all right, was just shaking his head in a disapproving manner. 

“Does Romeo fall off the Balcony at any point?” James asked you with a diverted smile. You stuck out your tongue at him. 

“Who the hell is Romeo?” Sirius asked, confused. 

“Shakespeare, mate! You live under a rock?” James replied, feeling entitled. He had only known about Romeo and Juliet because Lily had been telling him about the Shakespeare collection she had gotten Mary for Christmas on the train.

“Muggle?” Sirius asked, turning to Remus. 

“Oh, very,” he replied.

“Not all of it, Midsummer Night’s Dream has fairies.” 

“Are they as delightful as you are, Tinkerbell?” Sirius teased.

You rolled off the bushes and to the side, hiding your entire face in the snow and groaning. That nickname was your own fault, you had suggested Remus to read Peter Pan aloud and Sirius wouldn’t stop comparing you to her. “They’re equally obdurate!” he’d said, to Remus’ amusement. 

“You’ll get cold,” James said as he pulled you from the snow. 

“I don’t care,” you replied, turning to him with a pout, one of your cheeks still buried in the snow. “It’s actually good for your muscles.”

“Yeah sure,” James said as he pulled you up and turned to the window, “See you in the dining room?” 

“We’ll be down in a second,” Sirius said. 

“Are you sure you’re okay, Little Witch?” Remus asked, leaning his head over the window while Sirius removed his nightshirt to change into something else. 

You looked up at him too and placed your hand over your eyes, the day had gotten so bright you could barely look at him straight.

“Like softest music to attending ears!” You replied dramatically. 

Sirius leaned over his shoulder, shirtless with a confused face and you gave him a thumbs up, not missing the nervous look Moony threw his way as their bodies came into contact with each other. You looked down from that, remembering what had happened the previous night with a small frown. 

“Come on,” James said as he pulled you by the shoulder. “Mum must have something for falls on her potions cabinet.” 

“I’ve had much worse.” 

“Yeah, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt still,” James said with an all-knowing raise of the eyebrows. 

As you walked inside, you spotted Remus’ coat still in the hanger and instantly drove your sight to the other side. The elves had already placed breakfast on the table by the time you got to the room, and you went straight to take a seat while James went over the cupboard behind you and looked through the many potions their parents had brewed. 

You were resting your head on the table as you waited for the other boys to arrive. 

“Shadowshade?” James asked. 

“That’s for sunburns.” 

“Harmony Haze?” 

“Isn’t… isn’t that for singing better?” you asked as you turned to look at him, he shrugged in response and placed the potion back on the spot.

“Veil of Vigour?” 

You looked at him with your eyes wide open and stood up next to him, “Are you sure?” 

“That’s what it says, why?” He turned the label towards your face.

You leaned over his shoulder and whispered what that potion did to men.

“Shut up!” he said as he gasped. “Dad’s not that old!” 

“Maybe it’s for a friend?” you said with a shrug. James was still trying to process the information when you pointed to one of the others.

“That’s Skele-Gro,” he said. He took a small vial with green liquid and held it up to you, “Calming draught?” 

“No,” you said as you shook your head.  “That stuff knocks me out.” 

You pointed at one, “What does it say there?” 

James was better at deciphering his dad’s handwriting than you were. “Ce–“ he started. “Celestial Soothe.” He pulled it out from the cupboard in a second. “This is great actually,” he said as he walked towards the table and served about a quarter of a glass of water, “Dad used to give it to me when I was learning how to fly,” he took the dropper and trew around 8 drops on the glass. “It would take the pain away almost instantly.” 

“You fell a lot?” you teased as you took the glass he had in his hands and took a gulp. 

“You better sit down,” he said as he pulled a chair, you almost instantly relaxed onto it. “I was always trying to do stupid tricks so yes.” 

You laughed and took another drink, not only were you now a lot more relaxed, but the soreness from the fall was completely gone, not that it had been very painful, “Oh, wow.”

“Yeah,” James replied with a knowing smile as he sat down.  

Sirius and Remus came down the stairs seconds later, “Hey boys!” you said. Sirius walked straight towards you, sitting down on the closest chair and placing a soft kiss on your cheek before he served himself some orange juice.

“Tea, Luv?” Remus asked. You turned your gaze to him, he was looking at you apprehensively. Sirius leaned onto you, and you turned to look straight at the cup, avoiding your gaze entirely. 

“Please,” you responded as you looked at him serving. 

That look on his face, had it always been there? How hadn’t you seen it before?

Although what you saw as apprehension, was nothing other than longing. Yes, it often made Remus jealous that he couldn’t kiss you or Sirius with that same familiarity, that he had the memory of your lips engraved in his brain but that it was nothing more than that, a memory. Moony being so close to clawing his way out of him didn’t make him more lenient. But Remus was never uncomfortable if you kissed each other, heck he had imagined you kissing each other while he jerked off to the coat, the only difference there was that, in his delusion, you welcomed him to the kiss shortly after.

You were worried for him, you wanted to talk to him, but you didn’t even know how to begin. You couldn’t tell him you knew since it could sound like a threat, besides, he might pull apart from the both of you, and you would never want that to happen. Remus and Sirius drifting apart, you and Remus drifting apart, the idea ate you up from the inside out. You loved your friendship. And perhaps you were being selfish –if Remus was in pain– but you didn’t want things to change, you didn’t want more things to change. You didn’t want to lose Remus, the idea of him being a stranger, of him not speaking to you, of being unknown. It was harrowing.

You didn’t want to lose more friends, even if it meant only drifting apart, you just couldn’t bear the idea of it. 

And Remus was still Remus. He was still acting like he did all the time, playful and yet the voice of reason when the boys –and you– got unreasonable ideas. 

He placed your tea, prepared exactly how you liked it, next to your plate. He was the same. The only thing that had changed was your knowledge of the situation.

“Are we ready for tonight?” Sirius asked with a smile. “Effie and Monty left, right?” 

“Yup, earlier today,” James said as he popped some pancakes into his mouth. “Picksie and Mellie will catch up with them after lunch, I believe they’ll leave dinner ready.” 

“And you sure there will be no one else in the perimeter?” Remus asked apprehensively. 

“That’s why we were flying today in the morning,” James said.

“Before we decided to get into a race,” you added. You stood up and walked over to the bathroom. By the time you got back you realised James was talking about Tadpoles, and while Sirius looked at him attentively, Remus was lost in Sirius’ nodding profile, you felt so impossibly stupid. 

That look, so immensely similar to the way you looked at Sirius all the time, eyes fixed on him, lost on him. How hadn’t you seen it before?  Undeniable as the full moon, Remus was lost on him, and you didn’t blame him at all. 

Remus said something to James and Sirius cackled, that’s when you realised that Sirius’ gaze also lingered on the other boy.

It was in the way he’d brighten up when Remus smiled, in the way he would laugh louder if Rem cracked a joke, in the way he would look for him when he wasn’t around and in the way he would often ask about him when he was gone. 

Had he been like that with you too? 

You didn’t want to think much about it, you were so in love with Sirius, with everything about Sirius that you had never stopped to think, to really think, if he was as in love with you as you were with him, and then again, even if he was, what about Remus? 

“Starshine,” he said as he looked past Remus’ shoulder and towards you, “Did you hear that?” 

You shook your head and gulped, “I must have missed it, What was it?” 

Series Masterlist | Next Chapter

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A/N: Well this one's a bit of a rollercoaster, wasn't it? At least someone finally SAW something!

Read more Marauders Fiction

[savagewildnerness]

The Score of S2E5/E12 Don't be afraid, just start the tape.

OK, Someone was asking about the repeated piano notes that recur in S2E5 so I thought I’d have a quick go through the episode.

Please bear in mind that I have not listened to the soundtrack for season 2.  In S2E1 I was so profoundly moved by the exquisite violin music in the first 15 minutes that I was totally overwhelmed and I had to watch the first part of the episode several times to take it all in and be composed enough to continue watching.  

The way the music impacted me there, hearing it for the first time alongside the drama, as intended, made me realise I absolutely do not want to listen to the score before watching the whole of S2 and so not feel the emotion from it as intended, alongside the drama the first time I watch the show!  

I’ll spoil myself by analysing every trailer to the millisecond and reading your analyses… but the music: NO.  I even regretted knowing the Come to Me reprise before it was in the show.  

And even the S1 score… I know it well, but I listen to it on CD in the car, so I’m not familiar with the track titles as I’ve never really looked at most of them…. So, that said - this will not be referencing tracks on the score.  Perhaps I’ll return to this in more depth - analysing the music more thoroughly and with reference to the score after the series is over, but for now…

Piano pedal:

The piano pedal and theme recurs 5 times in the episode, and looking at when, I realised it is all related to Louis uncovering his suicide attempt as it culminates (on the fourth occurrence) in the full theme…

I transcribed just the first bit of slow notes, which isn’t very interesting, but here it is:

Musically the theme is just 5, slow pedal C’s the first and last occurrence - bookmarking the delve into the uncovering of memory.

The second occurrence adds an Eb, suggesting it has somewhere it is starting to head towards… but is still just 5 slow pedal notes.

The third occurrence starts the theme for a fair amount the theme and the fourth occurrence is the full theme.

1 - 5 slow pedal C’s. This occurs in Dubai at this point:

Daniel: How often has Armand spared a life?

Louis: Armand could see I was partial to you

I.e. When Daniel first opens up the concept of exploring his and Louis’ memories of San Francisco, we first hear the pedal C’s

2 - 3 C’s, an Eb and a C - 5 slow notes.  This occurs in Dubai

Daniel: I want to know, for me, what happened between us

So, the first two occurrences are Daniel opening Louis up to the idea of exploring what really happened at the first interview in San Francisco.

3 - Slow pedal C’s and Eb’s into the start of a longer piano theme.  This occurs in San Francisco

This is when Louis is talking about Claudia leaving on the train and him staying behind with Lestat and then…

Daniel: And then what?

The theme starts as Louis talks about this first contemplation of suicide and continues through Daniel’s plea to be made a vampire

4 - Full theme in San Francisco

This begins after Louis and Armand’s argument; after:

Louis: I loved her (Claudia)

Armand: But she didn’t love you.  Not like he did.  Not like I have.

Louis: I know

I don’t know if this is on the season 2 soundtrack, but I’ll presume it is, and it’ll be this, full version that continues now in its full form, through Louis going into the sun.

5 - 5 slow pedal C’s in Dubai, as at the start

This occurs when Armand returns, at the end of the episode

Armand: I could see you were partial to him.  I preserve your happiness even when you don’t or can’t.

Louis and Armand: I had a hunch

Armand: Daniel might prove fruitful in later times

The other, creepy soundscape with distorted horror/electronic sounds (YUM!) happens for the first time after Louis’ suicide attempt when Daniel is mentioned and it scores all the horror elements with Daniel and Armand, where Armand is basically torturing Daniel, trying to find out what makes Daniel fascinating to Louis and Daniel is terrified he is going to die.

The first occurrence:

Louis: He’s alive?

Armand: The boy? The fascinating boy.  He’s fine.  He’s just fine.  Oh, he’s fine.  You’re fine.  We’re all fine.

It continues as Daniel recounts what he can remember - the corpse, etc. and develops as Armand seeks what makes Daniel fascinating

I didn’t really delve into this part, but - violins/strings and a more familiar to most episodes, though sparser, predominantly piano and violin score with lots of high and thinner notes than usual return when Lestat is mentioned between Louis and Armand and Armand talks about listening to the tapes and why Louis did the interview.  It’s very pared back, but the “The drum was my heart” theme (Ahh… is that the origin track for the theme?  Anyway - you know the theme dooo doooooo, do doooo dooooooo one!) is there with high pedal strings as Lestat speaks to Louis and it suddenly drops away as Lestat vanishes…

Armand’s “easeful death” talk with Daniel as he eases him to his death also has a more musically full (and  beautiful) theme.  It reminds me a bit of Moonlight sonata and has Armand-romance-theme vibes in its gentleness - beautiful, delicate and simple.  Then a violin comes in and it becomes increasingly poignant and emotional and eventually (I feel) it has a romance to it too, especially from when Armand says “It’s the comfort we all long for” - it sort of resolves to a musical home.

Again, there is more resolved piano & strings music at the end with Daniel and Louis.

OK, so only a little analysis.  I just watched the episode once and made a few notes.  I basically did it to work out if those repeated piano pedal notes had a specific connection.  And they do - it is specifically tied into (at least as I understood it, from my listening) the uncovering of Louis’ suicide attempt.

Let me know if you’d like me to look at the music ever in the future.  I dunno… part of me feels like killing a fairy to analyse stuff like this rather than just experience the magic, but also I find it very interesting.  This is only a first little touch on stuff.  I could analyse and actually think about it…

Gosh, I adore Daniel Hart’s score!  And I love how unusual and differently this episode was scored compared to other episodes…

Let me know if this was daft of me or if you’d ever like me to look into the music at all.

[lurkingshan]

My Love Mix Up Episode 2

I have just finished the episode and I was not pleased, so this is your warning to look away if it's going to hurt your feelings to read a serious critique of this show.

I was trying to give it some space last week, but this is an offensively bad adaptation of a beloved Japanese work. I could not believe my eyes through the final part of this episode, and I was already feeling pretty down on the episode before I even got there. The team at GMMTV has stripped most of the important themes and the unique aspects of these characters away and replaced them with monetized drivel that is basically just a MSP redux in Kieta Hatsukoi drag. Let me make a quick list of the bad changes in this episode:

Rather than accepting Atom volunteering to play the lead role in drag and rallying around him, the class shoots him down and forces Mudmee into the role

Which means not only that Atom does not perform in drag, but also does not spend time properly rehearsing for this role on stage with the rest of the cast (put a pin in that one!)

Atom doesn't struggle much with getting over Mudmee and starts making moon eyes at Kongthap much earlier on--there's no real arc, it just suddenly is happening

Kongthap is somehow comfortable starring as the lead in a musical despite the fact that he is meant to be a socially awkward and quietly intense dude

Oh yeah, they made the play a goddamn musical so they could make a series of MVs within the episode and monetize the OSTs (they were going to make Mudmee, a girl with intense stage fright, sing and dance onstage???)

Atom runs into the play at the last minute (somehow in a costume for a part that didn't exist) and hits all his marks, performing flawlessly in a role he did not properly prepare for instead of comically struggling to carry out a passable performance

Kongthap (who you may recall is supposed to be awkward and uncomfortable with romance and uncertain of his feelings for Atom) smoothly performs a love duet and ballroom dance scene with Atom, rather than awkwardly delivering a few stiff lines

Rather than the whole class teasing Atom about a drag performance in a way that displayed a subtle form of systemic bias, they had three bullies be blatantly homophobic and get singled out as bad apples

These choices are not just bad because they're different, they're bad because they undermine characterization and the internal logic and themes of the story. Some of this just plain doesn't make sense, and I no longer wonder why Fourth and Gemini are struggling in these roles when their characters are not consistently grounded. If they wanted a generic high school show to make more quick money off this cast, I really wish they would have left Kieta Hatsukoi out of it.

[madridfangirl]

Star crossed lovers (Jude Bellingham fic)

Chapter 5

(Series Link)

Jude * female reader. Mature Language in parts.

..........................................................

Ananya reached her apartment around 1 am. Roma was not back yet, thankfully. She wasn’t ready for her interrogation. 

The night still felt surreal. She leaned against the dining table and held on to the edges to steady the head-rush she was feeling. If the Tupperware of leftover pasta was not in front of her (he had insisted she took some coz she had barely eaten), the girl would have seriously wondered if she had hallucinated the whole thing. But no, this really happened. And she didn’t bail on whatever this was, as she had initially planned to do.

The wine was still buzzing in her system, helping calm her nerves. Before turning in for the night, she sent him a quick message.

Ananya: Reached 15 mins ago. Thanks for the drop. 

She wasn’t expecting a response. He must have a ton of people to talk to / respond to after the match earlier that night. So she started an episode of Friends, hoping to fall asleep in a bit.

5 mins later, her phone flashed.

Jude: Cool. Tired?

Ananya: Oh yeah, in bed already. You?

She rubbed her temple to soothe her straining eyes. It had been some day. 

Jude: Wanted to crash but some of the guys still partying at Vini’s house. Cama kept sending me videos, gosh he’s so wasted right now. Came there for a bit.

She smiled at her phone. The team deserved every bit of celebration tonight.

Ananya: That’s nice. Have fun :)

Jude: Yup. What plans for tmrw? Boss cancelled our training so I am free till afternoon. 

Ananya: Have to work a few hours in the morning, which might extend, not sure.

Jude: On Sunday morning?

Ananya: Welcome to investment banking.

Jude: Keep forgetting how smart you are.

Ananya: Not that smart, but ok :)

Jude: So, I have an ad shoot tomorrow evening, then flying out for an away game on Monday after training. Don’t know when I will see you next.

A wave of sadness hit her, surprising her with its force. Her brain admonished her. She had only just met him and she needed to get a grip. 

Ananya: It’s fine. Will figure something when you are back.

Jude: Hmm. Haven’t even kissed you yet and you are already messing with my head.

The sadness was replaced by a warm shiver as she stared at the screen and thought of a response. But couldn’t come up with any.

Jude: Did you just fall asleep on me? 

Ananya: Stop being dramatic. I am right here.

Jude: Naa, wish you were HERE. Why’d you leave?

Ananya: Jude, you know why.

There was something about the way she said his name that made him want to hear it on loop, in various settings. God damnit this girl.

Jude: Yeah yeah. You thought we won’t be able to keep it in our pants.

She choked on water, and some spilled out on her blanket. 

Ananya: How drunk are you?

Jude: Plentyyyy. Don even know what’s been shoved down my throat anymore. 

Ananya: Figures :)

Jude: One last thing. Veryyyy important, like proper critical. 

Ananya: Yes?

Jude: Need to see you in my jersey. 

She smiled to herself before typing.

Ananya: Maybe win the Madrid derby next, score the winner, and then we’ll talk?

Jude: Tough, tough crowd. No mercy. No rest for the wicked. No respect for the Classico winner. 

He was even more dramatic when he was drunk. She could almost hear the whining from his texts.

Ananya: Good night, Jude :)

Jude: Good night, dove. Try not to dream of me too much. Mwahhh!

She smiled at the screen and ended up kissing it, finally drifting off to sleep.

Next morning, she woke up to a message from him. Sent at 5 am. A drunk out of their wits pic with Jude, Cama and Fede. Along with a caption.

Jude: Your preciousss Cama.

Then, another message from a few seconds later.

Jude: Don’t stare too long. 

She responded with a heart emoji to the picture and got started with her day.

Next few hours were hectic. She got into her work mode, shutting out all the madness that had transpired the day before.

Still, in between, her eyes drifted to her phone, to see if there were any new messages. Poor guy must have been sleeping. Or busy. He did say he had an ad shoot in the second half.

She somehow pulled through the day, and it was almost 5 pm when she finally finished work. Roma was also on the same project. The girls sighed about it being Monday morning just  next day, and decided to make the most of their remaining evening. 

They ended up at the same cafe where Ananya had met him the other day. Was it just two days ago? God - so much had happened since then.

She ordered her favourite churros and took a picture. Then wondered whether she should send it to him. Would it look desperate? Like she was just seeking his attention? She couldn’t have that.

But it was a harmless pic. He would get the reference. Deciding to not overthink it, she ended up sending the photo with a caption.

Ananya: Back to ground zero!

No blue tick for over 15 mins.

Roma rolled her eyes at her then.

‘Can you stop the sappiness? Look around - lovely day. Lovely food. Let’s get some Sangria and let the world go to hell.’

Her roommate was the best. The two perfectly complimented each other. Plus, her American upbringing lent her this carefree attitude which Ananya really wished to imbibe.

‘Well, how can anyone say no to Sangria?’

The girls ordered a pitcher and ended up staying there for a few hours. Gossiping about their colleagues. Talking about life. Planning a vacation - Sevilla and Granada were top of their list. They looked up their calendars and found a long weekend that seemed ideal. The prospect itself making them cheerful.

By the time they got back, it was already 9 pm. There was still nothing from him. Not even a blue tick. She knew he was working. Yet, an ugly thought still creeped in - was this just a one night distraction? Did he already…lose interest after she dumped her constraints on him? All her doubts from last night came rushing back, leaving an unpleasant taste in her mouth.

She got into bed and tried watching a movie. Anything random to keep her thoughts at bay. While scrolling through her insta.

And there it was - a post from him a few mins ago about the ad campaign for a cologne. With a gorgeous, stunning model at his arm. Ofcourse. 

The first photo looked like a part of the creative. The two were dressed immaculately in all black, she was leaning against his chest while his hand rested just above her butt. Seductiveness oozing from every inch of that frame.

The next was a BTS video - of him just being goofy on set while getting ready or trying to take a shot & not getting it right. The whole crew just getting charmed by his antics and boyish smiles. The model, in particular being extra supportive, extra attentive, giggling a bit too hard while holding onto his arm. Perfect hair, perfect figure and perfect skin. Ofcourse. 

And just then, her insta reels recommendation showed Jude hugging multiple female fans who had lined up outside his shoot. They screamed his name, begging for hugs and he obliged. Warm, cozy, Jude hugs. Granted he only wrapped one arm around their shoulder and looked embarrassed when some of them reached up to kiss his cheek or pulled him closer, but still. This wasn’t something she needed to see right now. 

Was this going to be her life from now on? Curled into bed, following his activities on social media, feeling inadequate. She didn’t deserve it. No girl deserved this. 

She threw her phone aside and forced herself to focus on the movie. It was already 9:45, it would be best to get some sleep soon. Next week was going to be super hectic at work. Yes, work is what she needed do focus on. That’s why she was halfway across the world in this city. That was her goal in life right now. Not some ridiculously handsome random boy who made women go weak in their knees everywhere he went. 

Around 10 pm, her phone buzzed. She had tucked herself into bed by then and almost decided to not look at it. But curiosity got the better of her.

Jude: Heyyy. Sorry my phone was not with me. Just getting back from a shoot.

She was equal parts relieved and irritated with that message. Ananya took a deep breath to calm herself down, and thought of a neutral response.

Ananya: Oh yeah, you had mentioned. How did it go?

Jude: Not too bad. Somehow got an ok on my take, that’s all I care about honestly. This acting gig ain’t no joke. 

Ananya: Hmm.

Jude: Churros looked lovely. Hope you had fun.

Ananya: Yep, and yep.

Jude: Tired? Am I keeping you from something?

Ananya: Nope. 

Jude: Why so wry then? What’s happened?

Oh, how she wanted to scream. What’s happened was exactly what she didn’t want to happen. What she swore she won’t put herself through with another boy. And this was amplified 1000 times here coz of who Jude was. 

She started typing, then deleted, then typed again, unable to find the right words. This went on for two mins. 

Jude: Can I call?

She sighed, exasperated. Her voice will immediately give away her irritated and confused state. But he knew something was up and typing like this was getting exhausting.

Ananya: Sure.

He called the next second. She braced herself, then answered. 

‘Hey.’

She couldn’t have possibly made it sound drier even if she tried. 

‘Hey. Wassup?’

‘Nothing, was just about to crash. Already in bed.’

‘Hmm, won’t keep you for long. Just wanna hear your voice.’

Damn him. To the moon and back. Damn his sweet agonising voice. 

‘Why? Looks like you had enough company today.’

The words just tumbled out of her before she could check herself. Great going girl, way to make yourself look pathetic. 

He paused for a few seconds.

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

‘Nothing, forget it.’

‘Tell me you’ll sort this on your own and wake up all fine tomorrow morning, I’ll leave it be.’

She knew that wasn’t gonna happen. There was also no way for this to ever work if she wasn’t honest with him. Especially given his situation, things will just compound and then break very quickly. If they ever even get started, that is. 

‘The photos bothered me a bit.’

She could sigh him breathe audibly at the other end - probably getting irritated at her insecurity. Or her immaturity. Maybe both. 

‘What about them bothered you?’

Damn him for always making her spell everything out loud.

‘Just…her? Everything about that stunning woman. Looks like she fancied you.’

She could tell the wheels were churning in his mind at the other end.

‘I see. And you think I should be with someone like her. In fact, maybe I am going to her hotel room right now & talking to you on the way.’

Her silence was deafening. Jude gripped the edge of his seat to not curse out loud. 

‘Ananya - didn’t we speak about this last night? Are we gonna go back full circle here?’

‘I am sorry. It’s just - I don’t know how I could ever compete with someone like that. Also, I don’t want to. I am a normal, regular girl Jude. Don’t need that in my life right now, or ever.’

‘YOU DON’T HAVE TO COMPETE. Can’t you see you have already won?’

Warmth and fuzziness ran over her, making her feel gooey inside. She had to clutch her tummy to arrest that feeling. To arrest the freefall. 

‘You don’t know what’s gonna happen.’

Jude fought the urge to throw his phone against the opposite seat. 

‘DO YOU? Does anyone? Girl, why don’t you believe me when I say I want you? Should I list down how much I have fantasised about you the last two days? How much I wanna…..’

‘Stop, please stop Jude. Please.’

Both were breathing heavily at this point, for different reasons.

‘Can I ask you for one thing, Ananya? Try trusting me till I give you an explicit reason not to. I am not such a dog, y’know. Yes, I have seen multiple girls together before but all parties KNEW it was casual. No commitments. This is not that. This is not a situationship. I would have told you to your face if that’s what I was looking for.’

She clutched her phone close to her chest. Him being who he was had made it all so hard. But he was right - he hadn’t done anything. Well, not yet. 

‘I don’t know what to say, Jude. Like I know a lot of this is in my head but I don’t know how to make it go away.’

Heavy breathing continued at both ends. He broke the silence after a few moments. 

‘How about this? Ask me what you really wanna ask me. All your unsaid questions, assumptions, perceptions about me that make you want to distance yourself. I won’t lie, promise. Be the smart girl I know you are and break it down like you will a work project.’

That was actually a fair suggestion. She could see what he was trying to do by appealing to her logical side. Not just a pretty face. Clearly not. 

She chucked her inhibitions on how crude her questions might sound. He was right - without this they would keep coming back full circle.

‘So…when you said you were dating multiple women together..’

‘Seeing…not dating.’

He clarified before she could go on. It was an important distinction for him. 

‘Yes, seeing them together, how long back was that?’

‘In Dortmund.’

‘Hmmm.’

She didn’t know how to feel about that. So she skipped to the next obvious question.

‘And…what about Madrid?’

‘Seen a couple, texted a couple, but not at the same time.’

‘Ok. When was the last time you were…you know..’

He understood the question before her finishing it.

‘Two weeks ago.’

‘I see.’

That wasn’t too long back. Was he still in touch with her? Did they meet up at his house? Something about the last thought made her feel icky.

‘And, these rendezvous, usually happen where?’

He chuckled at her choice of words. She really was something. 

‘At a hotel close by. It’s a private, exclusive property.’

‘Ofcourse.’

He could tell there was a tinge of sarcasm in that last word but chose to let it go.

‘Are you in touch with her….the last one?’

‘Not since a week.’

She was feeling particularly bold at this point. Jude could anticipate her next question from a mile away.

‘Well, are you planning to?’

‘Nope. Not her. Not anyone else. I will only be with you and you will only be with me. Exclusively.’

He declared without hesitation. Her mouth open and closed at his last line, unsure of how to react. He waited patiently. 

‘And what about the hordes of women who throw themselves at you daily? Who would do absolutely anything you want, and more?’

‘There is no easy fix here. You will have to find a way to believe that I will not stray, I will not indulge them.’

He could have backed his statement with evidence. Coz the model from today did slip him her number & he had politely wriggled out of that. But even he had the good sense to know this wasn't the time to bring that up.

She appreciated how he didn’t try to feed her any rosy crap, really following through on answering honestly. His tone & speed of response gave her enough assurance that he wasn’t being evasive. 

She had run out of questions and said as much to him. Weirdly, in some inexplicable way, this was healing.

‘My turn then.’

This caught her off guard. But it was a fair ask, after the grilling she just put him through. 

‘Sure, go ahead.’

‘Open your door in precisely 1 minute. I will ask in person.’

The phone dropped from her hand as she sat up, landing somewhere under the blanket. She reached for it blindly with one hand while switching on the lights with the other. 

‘What do you mean in person? You don’t know where I live.’

‘Agnes knows.’

Ofcourse. His driver had dropped her home last night. Great, his presence was making her dumb now.

‘But….what if someone sees you? Roma is home too. The house is so messy. And I am, I am..One second, your shoot was on the other side of town and this is not in your way. What would you be doing here? Are you messing with me?’

She rambled faster that the speed of light. He ignored every other comment but picked up on the last one.

‘How did you know where my shoot was?’

Damn. Bloody rotten hell. She groaned audibly on the phone and he laughed out loud.

‘Dove is a stalkerrrrrr!’

He said teasingly, in a sing-song voice. 

Before she could respond, she heard a car honk under her window. No, this couldn’t be. He wouldn’t. Would he?

‘Buzz me in and open the door. I am getting out of the car now.’

Ananya rushed frantically to the door, buzzing the building gate open. The idea of someone seeing him here filling her with nerves. Thankfully, she was on the first floor, half a staircase away from the building door.

Three seconds later, she saw him enter the building. Eight seconds later, she was grabbing his arm and pulling him into the apartment, shutting the door firmly behind them.

What was he thinking? What if someone had seen him outside? The media crap storm would have been unstoppable. How irresponsible was this? The gall of him to show up unannounced like that, anytime he wanted. Oh, she was mad. Raving mad.

Before she could turn around and give him a piece of her mind, strong arms wrapped around her from behind. 

‘Sorry. Just wanted to see you once before I fly out tomorrow. Didn’t want to leave on this note.’

And just like that, he knocked the fight out of her chest. With two simple lines. Frankly she was a goner at sorry itself. The boy carried a magic wand of persuasion with him. 

Her shoulders, which were tensed in anger, dropped as she leaned back into his chest. He kissed the back of her head, conveying his gratitude.

She could stay like this forever. In his warm, comforting hold. His scent, familiar by now (when did that happen?), seeping into her skin, taking over her senses. His big, calloused hands enveloping her smaller ones. Involuntarily, she sighed.

‘Thank you for being honest with me earlier. I feel better now.’

‘I am glad. My turn? Only have one question.’

‘Ofcourse.’

He turned her around in his arms and tilted her chin up to look straight into her eyes.

‘Would you let me kiss you right now?’

Time stood still. She was very numb yet very aware in that moment. The dim lighting in the living room from the night lamp, the faint noise from the street, the rhythmic tapping of feet coming from Roma’s locked room who was blaring music on her headphones. All registering in some peripheral part of her brain.

But what she was hypnotised by was his face, and his eyes, gazing intently at her, drawing her in. How was it ever possible to say no to that face? To those big brown eyes which looked even deeper, softer, more vulnerable than ever before?

She didn’t realise when he took off his jacket, nudged her towards the dining table a short distance away, put his hands on the sides of her waist, lifted her slightly to place her on the table. But when her legs were being parted gently so he could stand in front of her, their torsos touching, her trance broke. The heat radiating from his body was palpable. 

Jude’s face was inches away, almost eye level.  A pleasing, handsome, perfectly symmetrical face. The dim lighting creating a halo around him. Ananya tilted her head to look at Roma’s room and if it was still locked. But he put two fingers on her cheek to turn her back to him.

‘Been waiting for this since I saw you.’

Jude lifted her arms & wrapped them around his neck, while his hands stroked her back. The flimsy fabric of her tank top not providing any barrier; it was almost like he was stroking her skin. Her legs, spread wide apart to fit him in, dangled aimlessly on the edge of the table.

How was he expecting a coherent verbal response from her in this situation?

She slowly slid one of her hands from his long muscly neck to his hair, fingers gliding through the thick, firm, soft curls. Her eyes searching his, telling him this is the best she could do right now.

That was all the signal he needed. Her grip in his hair tightened as he angled his head to cover her lips with his. Plump, pillowy lips caressing hers. Making her tightly shut her eyes and whimper out. Which broke something in him.

He dove in again with more urgency, parting her lips this time, getting them to move in sync with his. She gladly obliged, submitting to his rhythm while her heart hammered against her chest. She wondered if he could hear it too. But he was too occupied with tasting her mouth. All her little sounds & shudders giving him a head rush. His hot breath fanning her cheeks. 

When her whimpers went up an octave, he gave her a little breather, connecting their foreheads as they breathed in the same air. Her hands had fallen to the wide expanse of his shoulders, clutching at them to anchor herself. 

He kissed her forehead, the top of her eyes, and placed two delicate pecks on each cheek. His light stubble grazing her skin. She tilted her head involuntarily along with his movements, giving him ready access, like a puppy would to someone petting it. 

‘Ananya, lemme see you.’

The way he said her name, the fondness in his voice, it was like a silent command she couldn’t deny. Her hands gripped his shoulders tighter as she opened her eyes. 

He smiled affectionately, and it took her breath away. All the walls she had built around herself, all the rules, all the notions of just focusing on her work for now, this boy had bulldozed his way through all that with just his breathtaking smile.

Some part of her still conscious brain tried to chide her that she was no different than any of the other girls fawning over him. All it took was him showering her with his undivided attention and she was putty in his hands. But her brain couldn’t get a word in edgewise, her other senses had taken over. 

Jude reached for her hands, unclasped them from his shoulders, somehow sensing the tension in them. What he did next made her lightheaded. He moved his lips to her palms, placing soft, lingering kisses on both. And then, he moved her hands to his face, as if asking her to hold him. Somehow, this felt even more intimate than their kiss. 

His unending torso was all hard muscle, pressed into hers, but his face was soft. Rugged yet soft. Her hands couldn’t even fully cover his cheeks, she noted absentmindedly. So she used the pads of her thumbs to stroke the rest of his gorgeous face. 

Suddenly, he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her closer into him. She looked up in surprise, finding darker, hooded eyes. 

‘The next time you wanna run away from me, remember this feeling.’

Not only had his eyes changed colour but his voice had turned hoarse too. Insistent lips crashed into hers, prying them open, his tongue penetrating her mouth. She gasped at the invasion. One of her hands fell from his face  & settled behind her on the table, trying to find balance, as the force of his kiss made her lean backwards, with him looming over her. 

His spare hand gripped her bare thigh to help steady her. She just realised how her tiny sleeping shorts had completely inched up her legs, leaving them almost fully bare. His hand was firm and his fingers dug into her skin, making her head spin.

She lost her balance, despite his support, falling further backwards and knocking down a container behind her on the table. He broke the kiss & stretched his arm to reach for the container, finding it just before it was about to crash on the floor. While she just panted in his hold.

‘Jude…I..’

‘Shhhhh, I got you.’

They fell into a warm, comforting embrace. Arms settling around each others’ backs. Her face resting in the crook of his neck as he quietly stroked her hair.

‘Did it ever occur to you that it’s hard for me to trust as well?’

That made her grudgingly break the hug and look up at him with confused eyes, while their arms remained locked around each other. 

‘It’s tough to figure if someone really likes me for me or it’s the lifestyle, fame, money and exposure that they are after. If a private encounter would remain private or the details would be splashed over some social media later. If some photoshopped images or invented stories be circulated as sworn truth. I have struggled to judge, so honestly I stopped trying. Keeping it just about sex was simpler. Uncomplicated. Convenient. No strings attached.’

No, it hadn’t occurred to her at all. Not till he put it like that. On any other day, she would have been irked at him trying to conveniently defend his conscious indulgences. But it felt more like an admission than justification. 

She stroked his neck and shoulders as he continued being vulnerable with her. 

‘You see, the normal and regular you think to be such a distancing factor, is in fact the opposite. A huge chunk of my life will always be public, I get that. I signed up for that. But this bit, I wanna protect. I’d love to come home to someone normal.’

Ananya stroked his face with all the tenderness she could muster. Trying to show that she understands. From the way he relaxed into her, she figured he got her message. 

Jude knew he had to be careful with her. Seeing her skimpy nightclothes hugging her body tonight had already disrupted his brain chemistry. He couldn’t shake the thought of how easy it would be to just push her on her back then & there. To rid her of the flimsy fabric barely covering her form l, with one determined tug. 

That’s why he knew he had to leave soon, while he was still thinking with his head. She wasn’t ready, not yet. 

‘That your room?’

He tilted his head towards the open door at the end of the corridor. 

‘Uh-huh.’

‘Want me to carry you in and tuck you into bed? I will leave after a goodnight kiss.’

She met his gaze with a twinkle in her eye, cocking her head sideways, biting her lip slowly. His eyes followed every little movement. 

‘Think you can handle being in my bedroom just to tuck me in?’

Boy, he didn’t see that coming. Didn’t know she had it in her. It immediately made him even more interested. The open challenge in her eyes, the suggestive tone, and that jutting out bottom lip. That needed to be responded to.

He leaned in and bit down at the same spot on her lower lip, making it sting a bit, then flicking it with his tongue. His hand gripped her bare thigh again, knocking the sass out of her.

‘Lippy. So lippy. I love it.’

He continued rubbing circles on her thigh with his thumb till he drew a moan out of her, despite her biting her cheek to keep it in.

‘Your pretty brain may not approve of me yet, but your body is definitely #TeamJude.’

She gasped, and he chose that moment to lean in for a deep goodnight kiss. Making it wet & sloppy, on purpose, so much so that she had to wipe her mouth with the back of her hand when he was done with her.

‘Sleep tight, dove. Talk to ya tomorrow. And..’

He leaned in to whisper in her ear, enunciating each word.

‘Will think about you tonight. Maybe in the car as well.’

With one last attempted wink, he bid her goodbye and walked out. While she was still perched up on the table, her body tingling everywhere he had touched her, her lips tasting of him, and her mind reeling from what had just happened.

……………………… 

There it is. Was delayed because, well, the pictures threw me off :)

As always, feedback / comments are always welcome. Hope you are enjoying their journey so far!

[thefiresofpompeii]

sutekh was a fantastic villain in 1975. sutekh was a compelling and frightening antagonist for one serial. it’s okay that his motivation was just “destroy everything, i hate all living things”because he was only around for one serial before tom baker sealed him in a temporal sarcophagus forever. and it should have stayed that way, with the exception of, maybe, a few big finish excursions, since they love to reanimate the corpses of dead characters.

sutekh is NOT a compelling enough villain to be refitted as the big bad of a nuwho series. “kill everyone now” is the most generic motivation a bad guy can have. “i bring death” ok what else do you bring? do you represent anything? do you have any subtextual value, do you have symbolic meaning beyond “lol, die everyone because i said so, i’m an evil egyptian god”. there’s no substance to him, nothing deeper. a character like the master is practically made of substance, his history and the doctor’s are entwined from the start and that’s what makes him so fascinating as a threat, but even lesser iconic villains — daleks, cybermen, weeping angels, ood, the silence, the great intelligence, the fucking fisher king from before the flood — all have complex and intriguing motives and philosophies of their own. okay, maybe not the angels, but they represent something. they stand in for a concept (in the case of angels, for example, the very meta concept of being glued to your screen, physically unable to look away).

what does sutekh stand in for? he’s just death. he wants all life gone. that’s not interesting, that’s not exciting beyond the scope of one serial or one episode. he’s not nuwho material, he’s definitely not nuwho finale material. you may as well just plop the grim reaper there, scythe and all, go full torchwood (derogatory), instead of embracing the dated, orientalist egyptian imagery russell has insisted on doubling down on. i’m feeling pessimistic. i’d really been hoping for the “stuck-in-a-tv-show” theory to be proven right. how naïve of me.

[hotdaemondtargaryen]

TECH RADAR REVIEW OF 'HOUSE OF THE DRAGON' S2. HIS OPINION BASED ON THE FIRST 4 EPISODES THAT HE WATCHED OF S2.

SPOILERS! FOR S2:

ABOUT TOM GLYNN-CARNEY'S PERFORMANCE AS KING AEGON II TARGARYEN:

"Aegon II, Westeros' new royal, is the biggest beneficiary of more extensive screen time, with Glynn-Carney bringing some much needed levity – plus youthful impatience, reckless naivety – to bear in episode 1 and in later entries, deep humanization to a character, who we're supposed to despise, in the only way that a GoT series can."

"HOUSE OF THE DRAGON'S SUPPORTING CAST, SPECIALLY IT'S YOUNGER MEMBERS, GETS MORE TO DO THIS SEASON."

ABOUT PHIA SABAN AS QUEEN HELAENA TARGARYEN IN SEASON TWO:

"Helaena's (Phia Saban) roles are also pleasingly expanded; the eccentric and cryptic Helaena becomes central to key storylines leading up to this season's jaw-dropping fourth episode."

"SEASON 2 ZOOMS OUT TO EXPLORE THE INTENSIFYING INTERFAMILIAL CONFLICT'S IMPACT ON THE WHOLE OF WESTEROS."

"Opening with a nostalgia-fuelled return trip to Winterfell a fleeting visit that reminds us of the ever-looming threat beyond The Wall in its very first scene, season 2 slowly lays bare the wider effects of the increasingly bitter Targaryen-Hightower feud on Thrones."

"Indeed, it inadvertently acts as the catalyst for smaller scale battles to erupt between long-warring families, such as Houses Blackwood and Bracken."

"After all, season 2 marks the official start of the devastating, years-long civil war known as The Dance of the Dragons, so I certainly hoped for more action. Nonetheless, observing the blood-curdling, silent horror-imbued aftermath of the Blackwood-Bracken battle made my imagination run wild about how this barbaric struggle played out."

"THE WALL WON'T BE THE ONLY LOCATION IN S2 THAT GOT FANS WILL RECOGNIZE. HARRENHAL WILL ALSO PLAY A PROMINENT ROLE THIS SEASON."

RYAN CONDAL ABOUT HARRENHAL IN S2:

"Harrenhal definitely is its own character in the show. It had its own character in the original books [and] in the original series when Arya was playing cup bearer for Tywin there."

"Other than the Red Keep, it's probably the most talked-about, storied castle in Westeros, and we really wanted to pay service to it. Whether it's real or rumored, it does have this supernatural aura around it that does put people off. We were excited to play that out as storytellers."

ABOUT GAYLE RANKIN AS ALYS RIVERS IN S2:

(whose mysterious arrival was teased in s2's final trailer)

"The enigmatic Alys Rivers was particularly fascinating to me, not least due to her involvement in Daemon's Harrenhal-situated season 2 arc; a personal subplot with the unsettling, almost Macbethian atmosphere and twisty-turny narrative of a psychological horror movie."

[chrisgetsmewet]

summerween

Pairing: dad!chris × reader!mom

summary: you decided you want to do summerween activities and include your daughter.

Warning: none now enjoy

a/n: soo i wanted to start a series and actually complete it. but i feel like i should post this then do that. also this isn't proofread i fixed a few things but i didn't read over it again.

10:23 pm

sofia was laying on the couch watching tv with her grandmother, (marylou) and it was the summerween episode of gravity falls, on a specific part is when the idea came to you

"Summer what?"

"Summerween, the people of this town love halloween so much they celebrate it twice a year.

"Summerween? something about this feels un natrual"

(For ones who doesn't know the audio or scene im referring to)

"we should do this" you point at the tv in a gesturing manner

"what do you mean?" marylou looked over at you

"not for me obviously everyone can celebrate it and have fun but mainly for sofia. jimmy could grill and we can have fun by the pool, carve pumpkins, then for the rest of the day we watch Halloween movies and eat popcorn and candy" you say using hand gestures when speaking and suggesting what you guys should do tomorrow.

"Oh thats sounds like fun, I'll tell everyone tomorrow" she left to her room telling you 'goodnight' before she left.

You just nod in response and look over at sofia who was sitting next to the spot her gandma was at, she smiled when you guys made eye contact. The 3 yr old should have been sleep, it was past her bed time but she kept saying one more episode until now, she had tired written all over her face. droopy eyes, getting all giggly over nothing, and yawning every 5 minutes.

after that episode went off she was already sleep which made the task of putting her to bed easier. Chris was already asleep on the arm chair he was sitting in while you were on him, his arms reasting around your waist.

You got off of his lap to get your sleep daughter, off the couch and into bed. he woke up from the change of your body heat off of him, he reached for you to pull you back onto him.

"chris, i gotta put sofia to bed"

"we all sleep in the same bed tho" he slurred, half awake.

"then c'mon chris" you retorted.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅

9:05 am

you wake up from some of the sun peeking in from the blinds.

You sit your head up looking around adjusting to your familiar surroundings, with not so familiar bodies by you. chris and sofia were gone. you lay your head back down before pressing off the bed to get up and ready for the day.

--

9:23 am

Everybody was gone, they left to the store, you only knew that because you texted chris asking where everyone went. they all ate already, telling from all the crumbs that were left and a few forks and glasses in the sink.

you toasted some waffles, while waiting you heard the front door open and footsteps coming up, showing marylou and sofia

"mommy!" she yells opening her arms running towards you.

"hey baby." you giggled picking her up and bringing her into your warm embrace, her head pressing against your shoulder.

she sat her head up, still in your arms "we went to da story and.. and.. buy punkin and candy and bought blanky and pillows and.. i don't forget" the girl ranted on about half her day saying 'umm' when trying to remember.

"you mean you don't remember" you corrected her

"mommy i forgot. i don't know what we got" she said matterfactly.

You just sighed and placed her down, off to the couch she ran. Nick, chris, matt, and jimmy come in with groceries definitely more than what her daughter said.

"y/n your up. we missed you." Jimmy said placing down the bags he had in hand. "the pumpkins are still in the car"

"I'll get those" you replied meekly, sliding off the seat by the island of the counter.

"hey sweet girl" chris said, one hand landing on your waist, giving you a peck on the lips as you passed by him. going down the stairs where he just came up.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅

4:49 pm

half the day past the sun setting ever so slightly. everyone was by the pool, the triplets parents were im the kitchen making food and jimmy came out every once in a while to grill a few things then going back inside.

sofia was in a floaty with a life vest, laying on her back relaxing, asking me random questions saying random things every few minutes.

"mommy what if could fly?'

"I don't know?" you replied swimming around her.

"i had a dream last day and trevor was dis big" she motioned, opening her arms as wide as she could. giggling, thinking back to her dream.

(istg if someone says something abt how they didnt have a pool back in boston I'll fight you. in this they have a pool)

"hey y/n come try this" nick called for you. hinting to the drink he had in his hand.

the boys went out to buy some drinks from dunkin cause when they drove by this morning and saw that the place was doing a summer special. they were infact still recording for their Wednesday vlog

"no! I'm staying in the pool"

"aww c'mon" he groans, "i want your opinion on the drink cause matr and chris said it was bad and i need a 3rd opinion"

"bring it to me" you wave your hand inwards, gesturing him to come to you.

"bro.." matt mumbled.

chris took the drink out of nicks hand and walked over to you, handing the drink over. you take a sip and it was actually good it was a strawberry lemonade with strawberry popping pearls

they tasted cheap and didn't pop when they were in your mouth but it was chewy but the strawberry lemondae made up for it, tasting sour making your mouth water and super sweet and if you could compare it to anything it tasted like a watermelon sour patch.

"It's good i guess" you let out a soft chuckle giving the camera thumbs up.

"i want a sip momma" the 3 yr old clapping her hands together and kicking her feet in excitement. you put the straw near her mouth and she takes a big sip, she pulls on her clothes squeezing her eyes shut swalloing the juice hard, putting her hand on yours that was holding the cup, shaking her head. you and chris laugh at her reaction.

"Im bout to go finish filming" chris walks back over to his brothers.

"ok" you watched him walk off , and you turn back to look at your daughter, her face held a repulsed look.

sofia taps her mouth then your hand then her mouth again. not quite sure what she was hinting at you reluctantly put your hand under her mouth and she spits the popping pearls in your hand.

when she spits the four into your hands you threw them into a random bush.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅

5:32 pm

The food was done being made. Burger in the shape of pumpkins, mac and cheese, finger sandwiches and hot dogs. some ingredients that were used are being put away. I help marylou clean some of the mess that was made when the food was being prepared.

everyone got cleaned, wearing their Halloween pjs and was ready to eat. you got your daughter a plate of mac and cheese and cut up one of the sausages that were for the hot dogs to replace the fact she didn't have chicken tenders.

"thank you"

"Your welcome baby" you kiss her head and walk away from the table.

You see chris sitting at the island counter focused in on his phone. you took that as your opportunity to try and 'scare' him because normally it doesn't work.

You walk to where he is and let out a small 'boo' you push him a little and you felt him flinch a little. and he just quickly turned his head to look your way "that didn't scare me" he laughs off

" liar" you teased, "it didn't, you freaking pushed me"

you laughed at his response hitting his shoulder, remembering how he looked when he got scared. You laughed a little too hard drawing attention towards yourself.

"why's she laughing" matt asked giggling along.

"she thinks she scared me" chris was quick to defend himself.

your laughing comes to an abrupt stop "what he means is i did scare him"

"anyway. mom, dad the food is good" he changed the subject

"oh yeah, thank you marylou and jimmy" you add mouth full of food, using your hand to cover your mouth.

everyone else throws in their "thank you's" and starting conversation.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅

After dinner, and eveything was cleaned and a bit of stalling on everyone's end, making up excuses of why one another can't go to the living room and watch the movie.

eventually we all gathered around in the living room deciding on a halloween movie the choices were hocus pocus, girl vs monster, and hallowentown. We all decided on girl vs monster.

The lights were all off, and a sweet cinnamon candle was lit.

i gave sofia a bag of m&m's and a lollipop. she let out a small "thank you" well actually she said (tank you) then engrossingherself back into the tv.

i was in the same place i was last night on chris' lap while he was sitting in the arm chair.

You nestled your head into chris' chest, with one hand he played with your hair, the other hand he rests on your leg, rubbing it back and forth.

"chris i just realized we never carved the pumpkins" you whispered to him, remembering the one thing you guys didn't do today.

"oh shit your right.. we could probably just do it tomorrow" he whispered back.

"mhm" you said before trying to go to sleep instead of watching the movie, exhausted from the semi long day you had.

a/n: if you actually read that thank you. Also i deeply apologize if this wasn't giving summerween.

[blissfulfandomingmess]

Bridgerton Season 3 Is Completely Out - Here's My Thoughts (Not Spoiler Free!)

I never expected myself to become a sucker for Bridgerton yet here we are. It started after promotion for Season 3 began earlier this year. They began to drop the snippets, specifically the infamous "your eyes are the most remarkable shade of blue" scene. So, as soon as these scenes dropped, I felt some appeal. However, Nicola Coughlan and Luke Newton really PULLED me into the trap. The PR and their genuine friendship brought me so much comfort and idealization. I still feel like an imposter in this fandom as I haven't watched the show from beginning to end. I'm hesitant to start it. I've already found myself being emotionally attached to these characters and their actors. It's formed a hyperfixation so that's a great new addition to my shelf of many fixations. But with that comes, a lot of dread to start a series in fear of me disliking their characters in previous seasons or feeling no appeal to other characters. I don't want to be that person.

Yet I still watched Season 3. I may not know every character and have a basic rundown of what's happened in previous seasons but I've enjoyed what I've seen. The first part of Season 3 focused on establishing the friends-to-lovers phenomenon between Colin and Penelope. Some aspects felt rushed but to me, it was pretty well done. However, when it comes to covering a book, there should definitely be more aspects of the book included. Many things were excluded, some for completely valid reasonings and others that didn't make sense. As many of the dearest gentle readers watched the second half of the season, many have echoed the same disappointment. Where was his declaration of love from the books? Why was there more anger than happy scenes? Why did they seem to skip many events from the book adaption?

Before we delve into this deeper, if you haven't read the original book (Romancing Mister Bridgerton: Penelope & Colin's Story by Julia Quinn), this is what we as a fandom are referring to:

“I love you,” he said, his voice low and fervent. “I love you with everything I am, everything I've been, and everything I hope to be.” “I love you with my past, and I love you for my future.” He bent forward and kissed her, once, softly, on the lips.

In many ways, we technically got something similar to this towards the end of Episode 8 but most longtime readers and watchers were looking forward to this moment. Not only that but the almost reversed sequence of events. However, this isn't necessarily a bad thing. After all, this is a live-action adaption of the novelization. The novelization will forever reign superior.

Stlll, Luke and Nicola brought these characters to life with their blood, sweat, and tears. You can see through their art how serious and important these characters are to them. I think it's fair to say that I cannot wait to see them in future seasons, even though, they will no longer be the leads. I think that's another reason I dreaded the end of this season. I've enjoyed all the press, interviews, photoshoots, and friends made along the way.

To finish this off, I would like to applaud Nicola Coughlan and Luke Newton. Not only did they provide us with happiness and joy but they showed their close friendship, highlighting their immense respect for each other. You don't see things like this in this business often. Of course, they played into some aspects of the PR but their friendship was never PR despite sites like DeuxMoi wanting to claim.

And with that dearest gentle readers, this is where we part. Not literally but this season has been an amazing journey for us all. I can't wait to see what the future has in store. I hope and pray that Nicola and Luke remain friends through all hate and rumors, as well. This won't be the last you hear of my Bridgerton ranting and rambling as I hope to actually start from beginning to end. I hope you all enjoyed this season as much as I have, even with some of the hurdles with the second half.

[notfreetoday]

MPW Ep 3 Subtitle Corrections

EP 1 || EP 2 Cultural/Language Tidbits: EP 2

Same translation disclaimer applies. Thanks again for indulging my crazy long t/n, please keep geeking out with me in the notes!

We've got a change of director this episode - to Funabiki Shinju (twitter linked here) who was the scriptwriter for Jack Frost. This date is also a drama-only episode and does not appear in the manga. So, we have quite a few ad-libs here! I'll point out these out, as well as any interesting comments by the director and the producer from the Ep 3 twitter space as we go on. (Due to tumblr's image space limitations, some of these scenes will have no pics, just a description)

Ep 3, let's go! (If you read nothing in this post, please just read Yoh's monologue)

Since this is the theme of this episode, and Yoh's favourite word, let's talk a little more about it. I've mentioned it previously, but both "嫌い (kirai)" and "大嫌い (dai kirai)" are often translated as "hate/really hate", when they really function more as the opposite of "(suki)", ie "to like". That said, the amount of emotional weight this word carries depends on the context. It can accurately convey the pain/anger of hating someone, but it can also be used very mildly. For eg, it's often used by kids in the "I hate homework/vegetables/the rain/etc" form, or by teens/young adults in the "I don't want everyone to hate me" form, as opposed to other synonyms. When introducing yourself/getting to know someone, it's not uncommon to be asked "what are your suki/kirai?"

In other words, overuse of this word can actually come off as slightly childish, because kids/young people are usually the ones using this word to reject small things/express themselves. Yoh's constant insistence that he hates Segasaki pretty much sounds like this - which is why Man-san expresses doubt about it, and why when Segasaki repeats this line back to Yoh, Yoh understands that Segasaki is teasing him. (The word "love" is considered too heavy and precious of a concept to be thrown around easily, so "suki" is the default go to even in committed relationships.)

Y: 相変わらずすごいよ、この人の外面モード。 Y: As always, this person's "public mode" is amazing.

"外面 (soto zura)" literally refers to the "outside face", and when used to describe a person means someone who puts up a certain personality/attitude depending on who they're speaking to/the situation.

The reason Yoh's saying this is because Segasaki is speaking to him in a much nicer way than he usually does at home 🤣He's using plain forms yes, but he's also praising him and smiling at him and actually saying a whole, proper sentence as opposed to the one-word sickness he has at home🤣 This is most obvious right before Segasaki leaves, when he warns Yoh to be careful when drawing other people - he says "気をつけてね~ (ki o tsukete ne~)", ending with a ne~ which is sweet and cute and which he almost never does with Yoh at home 🤣🤣

Twitter Space Note (TSN): They decided that since they finally got to shoot an "outdoor scene" for Yoh, they'd try to make him look a little more fashionable with a shirt instead of a hoodie 🤣

Y: いってらっしゃい Y: Itterasshai - this is a standard greeting that you say when someone is leaving the house (or the office, if they're going out on a business errand). Basically, the one leaving says "ittekimasu" and the one staying behind says "itterasshai". They mean "(I'll) go and come back/Go safely and return well" When returning, you say "tadaima" and the one welcoming you back says "okaerinasai" meaning: "(I have) just now (returned)/ (you have) returned safely". Unlike Yoh, Segasaki does none of these standard greetings (which Yoh complained about in Ep 1 whilst chopping onions).

Y: だからね、気持ちが通じ合った*っていう描写��必要だと思うんだよおれは Y: だからこそ、体が盛り上がる**、的な？ M: はーん。中高生処女みたいなこといってろ Original: Y: That's why I think it's necessary to depict the feeling of "mutual understanding" Y: That's how the physical aspect also gets exciting... or something like that? M: Hmm.. talking about it like a high school virgin, huh? Mine: Y: So that's why, I think it's important - showing that (the characters') have this unspoken understanding* of each other's feelings. Y: It's precisely because of that, that you get physically excited** - something like that? M: Mm.... you're saying things a high-school virgin would say **体が盛り上がる - literally, "the body gets excited/heated up/lively etc" - given that they are talking about erotica, he probably means physically aroused here, but this term also works to explain the feeling of excitement or emotion just swelling in your chest for eg *通じ合った - is not just "mutual understanding" - it specifically refers to a situation in which both parties understand each other without having to say a word - like when you look at someone and just get them, or like in sports, you just look at your team mate and you know.

This is an important distinction because in this line, Yoh again emphasizes "I" - at the end of the sentence he ends off with the pronoun "俺 (ore)" marked by the subject particle "は (wa)" - which means that in this sentence Yoh is emphasizing that this is his opinion - that he himself thinks it's important to show that 2 people simply get each other, because that's exactly what translates to that sensation you feel in your body. This is what Yoh wants - he wants to understand Segasaki, and he wants Segasaki to understand him, without them having to actually say anything. Which at the moment, only Segasaki is achieving, ironically.

[ Man-san's dialogue, where she says "a sex scene follows]

TSN: Man-san actually only says “se-“ here, and then mutes herself (because they’re in public). In the script, it was supposed to be the full “sex” word, but they weren't sure whether it would be ok (it's not clear whether they mean ok for the actress to say this or ok for the show in general) so in the end it became "se-". Yes it's an odd place to be concerned about given the whole Ep2 but #Japan

Again, the word here used is “kirai” but translated as “dislike” instead of hate 😉

TSN: Between this scene and the start of the next scene, they praised how Acchan uses his eyes to convey Yoh's dejection and how he expresses Yoh's emotions very sensitively through his gaze (and I agree!)

TSN: The director mentioned that she had thought it would look good if Segasaki to put his hand up like this on the ceiling partition, but the moment Kouhei walked in, he just did it naturally without her having to say anything, and so she was really amazed.

S: じゃ、出かけるぞ (Jya, dekakeru zo) S: Then, we’re going out.

“Let’s go out” would be more of "じゃ、でかけましょう (Jya, dekakemashou)" – by using the ending form “(-ma)shou”, the listener is included in the action of going out as an equal to the speaker, the same way “let’s” is used in English. It is by far the most common way Japanese people make a statement without trying to sound too overbearing. But here, Segasaki once again demonstrates his habit of simply stating what they’re going to do, and speaking for Yoh. The sentence-final particle “zo” at the end of his sentence is an assertive one that doesn’t leave much room for argument.

TSN: Again they talked about how they emphasised to Acchan to do the housework improperly, since Yoh isn't supposed to be good at it. Also, when Yoh thinks, "what's with this, all of a sudden?", the director asked that he move his hands "more" as he folded the clothes, like he was still happy to be asked out.

Y: デート自体ないんだよ Y: I’ve never even been on a date.

Y: 俺、いま一体何してんだろう Y: What am I even doing right now?

Yoh’s not wondering what they’re doing, he’s questioning his own actions, like "why am I even here, doing this, what am I supposed to do" etc, because you know, he's never even been on a date before and he has no clue whether this actually is one.

[The scene with the 2 of them on the bench, and Segasaki asks Yoh what he'd like to eat]

TSN: The script only went up to Yoh answering that he wanted to eat “Chinese food”, and this whole bit afterward just happened naturally when they let the camera run.

Yoh says “たっか(taka)!” which is short for “高い(takai)” aka “expensive!” but his voice is so cute here I’m dying. (It really is bloody expensive, these things are usually anywhere between 180 yen – 300 yen pre-pandemic. Even with the big one they have here, I don’t think anyone would sell this above 500 yen)

TSN: They said they searched for a 1200 yen steamed pork bun but couldn’t find one, and in actuality the store sells them at a really reasonable price, so to please go give it a try 🤣🤣

[The scene of them walking and sharing the chicken cutlet]

TSN: This scene, as well as them walking along they alley way looking at the shops, was mostly ad-libbed (which is probably why we see Acchan smiling so much here hahaha I’m guessing the question about which he liked better was probably an adlib, which surprised Acchan). For the alleyway, they were told that their conversation was not going to be used, so they were quite relaxed (and that explains the audio fade out lol)

[The scene of them drinking Boba/Bubble Tea]

About Gyaru - when Boba/Bubble Tea first came to Japan, it became pretty popular amongst Gyaru, and quickly became associated with Gyaru culture - hence why they both felt it was something only Gyaru drank. It's similar to the idea that only ladies eat sweets/desserts that was briefly mentioned in OFC (which makes Nozue feel awkward about 2 men eating cake in a dessert cafe) - here they mean they both felt too embarrassed to try Boba out before due to the idea that it's a "Gyaru" drink (and I love how Yoh looks at Segasaki then, like he only just realises that even Segasaki might get embarrassed/feel awkward sometimes).

S: 乗るぞ (noru zo)

Again, this is “we’re riding it” instead of “let’s”.

Y: 思ったよりすごく透明で Y: (The cabin) is more transparent than I thought

The floor of the cabin is actually clear, so you can see right down through to the bottom, which is why Yoh is a little freaked out here. Not because he thought glass wasn’t transparent.

TSN: Acchan is also afraid of heights, so the stiffness you see here is real, he really didn’t like it, but they went 4 rounds in total to finish this scene. (Kouhei apparently was fine and enjoyed looking right through the glass, though I can’t remember which interview this was mentioned in, sorry!)

S: ほら S: See?

ほら (hora) is commonly used to draw the listener’s attention to something, so here Segasaki really just means “look (I was right)”

TSN: They apparently redid the scene where Segasaki dismisses the store attendant many times so they could make sure it was done in a way that looked natural and wouldn’t be off-putting.

We’re back to one of Segasaki’s humming sounds – the “hmm…?” here again conveys the “oh, really/is that so?” sort of lazy drawl that can easily be mistaken as Segasaki being bored – which is why Yoh immediately suggests they go do their own thing.

Y: そっちも、好きなところいっていいから Y: You too, it’s okay (if you go) to the places you like so…

Yoh uses “そっち” here to refer to Segasaki - which literally means “your/that side” and is another way in which Yoh avoids addressing Segasaki directly (remember, in Japan we don’t like being direct, and “you” is sometimes too direct).

Fun fact: Depending on which part of Japan you’re in, this can either be seen as a totally normal way of speaking, or it might annoy you a little to be referred to as if you were an object/place, or you might feel like the speaker was treating you a little like an “outsider”. The divide in opinion seems to be somewhere between the northeast regions, and the western regions. Tokyo and the rest of the Kantou region (where the show is based, judging by the lack of an obvious accent) are sort of 50-50.

Y: もしあれ*だったら、あ、あの、こっちはこっちで、好きにやってるし Original: Y: Ah, if you want to. Well… we’re both doing our own things… Mine: Y: If (you feel) that way*, then, ah, umm, I can… do as I like, by myself too...

*that way - this refers to that sort of awkward, uncomfortable feeling you get that is hard to describe when you’ve been put on the spot. So, this makes it clear that Yoh is offering Segasaki an “out” from this uncomfortable, weird position he thinks Segasaki is in.

Similar to his earlier sentence, Yoh refers to himself as “こっち (this side)”, and the phrase he uses pretty much means “I can entertain myself”. This is an example of kizukai – or at least, what Yoh thinks is kizukai - which is a concept where you do your best to think of the other person’s needs and wants, so you can anticipate what help they might need and so you don’t inadvertently inconvenience them. Ok, now get ready for some mental gymnastics:

From Yoh's POV, Segasaki wants to buy clothes, and has brought Yoh along to carry the bags. Therefore, Segasaki’s offer to buy him a shirt, and asking him if he is having fun, is Segasaki’s kizukai – Segasaki is going out of his way to make sure Yoh is taken care of. But! Yoh doesn’t want Segasaki to feel inconvenienced (similar to how in EP 2, Yoh said he doesn’t want Segasaki to dislike him), so he instead almost reflexively rejects Segasaki’s offer, then encourages Segasaki to go enjoy himself, and in response to Segasaki’s “Ha!?”, doubles down and says he’s totally ok by himself - This is Yoh’s kizukai.

Tired yet? This is a normal consideration in daily interactions! You can see why the phrase “yokei na kizukai (excessive/unwanted kizukai)” also exists in Japanese lolol 🤣

S: ああ。せっかくの休日に、大嫌いな俺*と一緒にいてのはたのしくない？ Original: S: Ah. So spending a day with someone you hate on your precious day off isn’t enjoyable? Mine: S: Ah. On your precious day off, being together with me – who you hate* – isn’t fun?

*“大嫌いな俺 (dai kirai na ore)” is literally “the ‘me’ that you hate”, or “me who is hated by you” - emphasis on "me", the person standing right in front of you.

Y: いや、それは…違。。。あ、その。。。 Y: No, that’s…not-…- ah.. um…

“A, so” again.

S: 五時にここ集合*な (goji ni koko shuugou *na) S: We’ll meet here at 5, *yea?

*Ending with “na” is softer than “zo” – this statement is still pretty much an order, as with his other statements that ended with “zo”, but it’s gentler, and softens the fact that he’s walking away from Yoh here.

TSN: Pretty much everyone was just going on and on about “oh, poor thing!” in response to Segasaki getting rejected and chased away, and how even though he’s sad here he’s still sweet and gentle with Yoh. Yes, that’s right, everyone loves Segasaki.

[The scene of Yoh spilling water on his shirt]

TSN: This was apparently pretty difficult to shoot in a way the camera could see the water spilling, but the wardrobe team came to the rescue with hairdryers so they could keep reshooting 🤣🤣

S: じゃ、帰んぞ  (Jya, kaen zo) S: Then, we’re going back

“zo” is back! Sorry for being so pedantic about tiny things like this, but I do think it gives us insight into Segasaki's character and how he may be feeling.

This line is the most important correction in this post.

Y: 本当はさ、ずっと、ささいな表情とか、しぐさとか、 俺が言うこと聞くとちょっと嬉しそうにするのとか、 晴れの予報を告げる優しい声とか、 全部バカみたいに俺ばっかり。 毎日俺ばっかり心臓大暴れさせてるみたいで　 嫌だった Y: むかつくとこ拾い集めて　大嫌いだって思ってないと　 その気持ちの不釣り合いに　息ができなくなってしまいそうで 嫌だった Y: 嫌いじゃない　嫌いじゃないよ Original: Y: Actually, all these times, your expressions, gestures, the way you look kind of happy when you listen to me, and your gentle voice forecasting good weather. All of them, make my heart beat as if it’s coming out. I don’t like it. Y: I gathered everything that annoyed me, thinking that if I didn’t, the imbalance of my feelings would suffocate me. I don’t like it. Y: I don’t hate you. I really don’t. Mine: Y: In truth, all this while, the little expressions you make, the gestures you do, the way you seem just that little bit happier when I listen to you, and the gentle voice with which you announce the sunny weather… All of that - like an idiot, it's just me who… It feels like it's just me whose heart has been made to pound and race wildly and - I didn't like that. Y: If I didn't gather up all the things that frustrated me and told myself "I hate this" then, the disparity (between us) in those feelings would suffocate me, making me feel like I could hardly breathe and - I didn't like that. Y: I don't hate you. I really don't hate you.

TSN: This was ad-libbed too. It just happened that the metal post was coming up in between them as they walked, and Acchan saw it and planned to go around it, because he felt that emotionally there was a gap forming between Yoh and Segasaki at this point. But right as he was about to do that, Kouhei grabbed him by the sleeve and pulled him over, which Acchan was really surprised by, because they both had the same thought to ad-lib something about that post, and they both did it as their characters would do it, but it was the exact opposite action. The director said that when the 2 were walking back towards the start point they were both smiling a little, and then asked the director “how was that?” to which she replied “It’s really great!”, and then Acchan looked a little frustrated (in a sorta arrgh I got it wrong sort of way) whereas Kouhei was all “I was definitely right” (Acchan mentioned he was abit worried about the ad-lib, so I’m guessing they both were discussing as they walked back and finally decided to settle it by asking the director hahaha)

Y: すいません S: なにが Y: その。。。いろいろ S: だからなにが Original: Y: I’m sorry S: For what? Y: Well, for everything S: What do you mean? Mine: Y: I’m sorry S: About what? Y: That… for many things S: And (I said,), about what?

Yoh uses the formal "すいません (suimasen)" here, as opposed to his usual and more casual "gomen" or "gomen nasai", because this line is important to him, and he means it. "Sorry" in Japanese does not always carry the meaning of regret/remorse - it can be used to express gratitude as well. You''ll often here people say "Sorry that you had to (go through the trouble)" after they've accepted a gift, or "Sorry, I've caused you much trouble" as a way of thanking someone for their care. So, Yoh says "sorry" here after accepting Segasaki's gift, which could be seen as a thank you, but he also means he's sorry that he's like this, that he can't be honest/straightforward about his feelings (a theme that is brought up in Ep 4), that Segasaki has to care for him like this etc. "For many things" is a common way to encompass all of these mixed feelings, and yet not say them out directly.

Y: どうせ口じゃ、うまく言えないから Original: No matter what, I don’t dare say it Mine: Since I can't get the words out of my mouth properly anyway

S: よくできました (yoku dekimashita)

This is a formal way of saying “well done”, and if you did well in your work/test in elementary school you’d get a stamp that says just this, or your teacher would draw you a flower. The more elaborate the flower, the better you did. This is the only time thus far that Segasaki has said anything formal to Yoh at all. The sudden shift, and the imagery this phrase evokes – a literal stamp of approval – emphasises not just Segasaki’s approval, but also his role in Yoh’s life (ie, his role as Yoh’s provider, or well, maybe keeper is more accurate. Honestly Dom makes the most sense, but I’m not qualified to talk about that so see @lutawolf posts for more!). We’ll talk more about how both Segasaki and Yoh acknowledge the power dynamic between them in the way the speak in the language analysis post (that will come after this, before Ep 4's).

Y: この人、もしかして本当はめっちゃ俺のこと。。。？ Y: This person… could it be that he actually…really is… …me?

Y: 信じていい？ Y: Is it ok if I believe? sue me, I think believe and trust carry different nuances.

S: よかったな* (yokatta *na) S: シーツ買ったからいっぱいできんじゃん、大好きなセックス S: まあ　残念ながら　相手は大嫌いな俺**ですけど Original: S: Great, S: with more sheets, we can do it more often. Your beloved sex S: Well, unfortunately the other person is someone you hate Mine: S: Isn't this nice* S: Since you bought more sheets, we can do it a lot - the sex that you love so much S: Well, unfortunately, your partner is me - who you hate **so much

*The use of "na" here is slightly different from the one earlier - here it is used more for emphasis, and the downward tone carries a hint of mockery.

Again, Segasaki uses the same "the me who you hate" phrasing as he did earlier, emphasizing to Yoh once again that Segasaki is the one Yoh hates. Except here, he also ends off the sentence with "ですけど (desukedo)", and the whole phrasing of this line too, from the word "unfortunately" onwards, just feels business-like. As before, the shift in style gives the statement more weight- Segasaki is really not letting Yoh get away with this line here, and Yoh feels this acutely. The sharpness of the line makes him turn away abruptly in shock and even some anger.

S: お前が好きにしていいって言うんだから S: 好きにさせてもらうけど　*な (na)？ S: お前　本当バーカ Original: S: You told me to do as I like, S: then I’ll do what I want. Okay? S: You really are… an idiot Mine: S: You said I could do as I wish so, S: I'll gratefully do as I please... *yea? S: You're...really an idiot

*The "na" used here is similar to the one Segasaki used when telling Yoh to meet back at 5, in that it assumes the listener will agree with the speaker. This time it's not so much used to soften an imperative, but rather, to soften the teasing of the preceeding line - "I'll gratefully do as I please".

The phrase used here is "~させてもらう (~sasete morau)". "Sasete" means "to do" something, with the permission of the other person, and "morau" means "to receive (with thanks/gratefulness)" so together this phrase means that you're going to "do something (with the permission of the other person)", and you are thankful to have received that permission. It's usually used for things like asking your boss "May I please go home early with your kind permission" sorta thing, or telling someone that you "ate a meal someone provided for you that you are grateful for".

So here, Segasaki is pretty much saying "I'll do as I please since you so kindly told me I could, didn't you?" which is why he smirks as he says it.

/////

And we're finally done with EP 3!! Finally! Now I can finally talk about their general speech styles and what it means when they choose to switch between them. Thanks for joining me! Also, shout out to @eralkfang for tagging me in their meta post - I'm really glad these posts are helpful that way!!

[airborneice]

i think we all know who the REAL star of season 3 is

i'm making a vague attempt to pace out this season by doing a drawing after each episode, so anyway here's my new fave character

[guinevereslancelot]

[k-kaez]

he's such a romantic guy

[mocha-tapioca]

CONGRATS ON 5K @lotus-pear!‼︎‼︎ YOU GO GIRLIE

[wackachewbacca]

I love that Calamity introduces us to the city of Avalir as like the epitome of a wonderful advanced civilization in an age of opulence and yet towards the end of episode one so much about what the city represents feels so hollow. Yes the city is still beautiful and far ahead of anything that we have seen in any of the three main campaigns but it’s really small things like they can’t grow real flowers in their gardens or the people experience weather for a very short period of their entire lives

Even the people themselves (at least those in higher society) have such extreme contempt for people who worship and champion the gods. I cringed during the entire scene when Purvan was present at the gala and he was turned into a spectacle of how quaint and backwards people who don’t live on Avalir are and was being mocked because of his status as Champion of the Raven Queen and no one even gave a shit if they were rude to this one man who was just doing his job because they wanted to have a dick measuring contest against a goddess who frankly has more important things to do than appease the whimsies of vapid mortals

Really it’s like what Brennan and Travis say at the beginning of the episode: it’s a beautiful day in Avalir but not on the inside

[munamania]

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literally just 5 and a half minutes of erin kellyman as maya in ‘life’

[seventhdoctor]

Graduation photos, episodes 161 and 167