#someone mentioned ‘tumblr theories’ in the chat as he was talking about this . so .

[ahalliance]

some notable moments from the qsmp meta talk antoine, étoiles, baghera and co had yesterday, including the stuff i mentioned in this post <3 subtitles in eng, transcript in eng below the cut as well (I apologize for the bad video quality my wifi hates me)

[Video Transcript:

[First clip begins]

Etoiles: I’m— I’m gonna go on QSMP, I think

ZeratoR: (laughs) This really made him want to play Minecraft

Baghera: Ohh, lucky, I miss it

Etoiles: But— you still can’t come back?

Antoine: Well, technically, she could come back, but I don’t think it’s as simple as that

Baghera: (pained) Not as simple as that….

ZeratoR: What are you waiting for?

Etoiles: It’s Lost, it’s Lost

Antoine: Well, her character is dead in game

ZeratoR: Ahhh… but isn’t there a way to— to— a gimmick?

Antoine: No but don’t worry, there’ll probably be a gimmick (laughs) there’ll probably be a gimmick, don’t worry

Baghera: Don’t worry, don’t worry—

Antoine: No, she’s banned from the server! She’s banned from the server, it’s over

ZeratoR: Sucks! How did you die?

Antoine: Nuclear explosion

Baghera: Nuclear— yeah, nuclear explosion

ZeratoR: Ah yeah indeed you’re dead

Etoiles: That should have technically killed everyone—

Antoine: I hadn’t been there for a long time!

Etoiles: Well, I wasn’t there either— oh, well, you (laughs) you—

Antoine: I was elsewhere, I was elsewhere, dude

Etoiles: What a fraud you are (laughs)

ZeratoR: Where were you?

Antoine: I was elsewhere— somewhere else, I can’t say, it’s my lore, dude (laughs)

Etoiles: It’s his lore!

Antoine: I can’t say, dude, it’s my lore, dude

Étoiles: Antoine’s lore—

Baghera: Oh wow, you played around with that? Damn, I didn’t even see

ZeratoR: Basically he was glued to the bomb but well played to him

Etoiles: The lore in question (laughs)

Antoine: The lore in question, dude, it’s mad

Baghera: Take of yourselves guys! This was so cool

[Everyone says goodbye]

[Baghera leaves the call]

ZeratoR: Basically he was glued to the bomb but he found a gimmick

Antoine: Yeahhhh

Etoiles: The lore in question, just being the goat

Antoine: Yeah but the problem is that it’s my lore in every game, dude

Etoiles: (laughs) Oh but it’s really that. Antoine’s lore is being the goat

[Second clip begins]

Etoiles: Something that makes me laugh a bit is the fact that because there’s so many open plotlines it leads to fan theories that are sometimes really fun. There was a moment when my character’s skin, well, it was made for me with white eyes. And well I used it because I found it cool. And, actually, when I put it on, I read 65 tweets from people going, ‘hey, did you know that Etoiles’ character is blind because he actually lost his eyesight because he was—‘

Antoine: But you know on this server, the moment you say any sentence it gets overinterpreted in every way

Etoiles: It’s so funny—

Antoine: What’s wild is that there’s a billion theories on things, and for my part there are people that have understood some stuff about the theory and everything, which I find rather fun

Etoiles: Well it’s— you can’t reproach them because—

Antoine: Oh no precisely, I don’t want to reproach them, on the contrary I find it so cool!

Etoiles: Yeah but it’s funny the extent to which they get in their heads about it— like, you say one sentence on the server and you read a whole text of 65–

Antoine: Yeah, yeah it’s that

Etoiles: It’s really so funny

Angle Droit/Florence: Hmm, he said he was hungry at this given time, it’s surely a coded message

Etoiles: It’s really that!

Antoine: No but really, it’s really that, you know

Etoiles: But you know it’s honestly that, Florence

Antoine: You say a little sentence that’s supposed to be a joke and it’ll be interpreted seriously because ‘there’s this, and this, and that’, you see. But the thing is, it’s often completely wrong, but sometimes it’s correct. So they have every reason to continue theorising, honestly, I find. I think they have every reason to continue theorising, it’s very interesting

Etoiles: You’re just correct the goat, dude

[Third clip begins]

Etoiles: Basically I can say it because it’s out of roleplay and I think Antoine already knows it, because sometimes people are like, ‘yeah you can’t spoil the other streamers!’ but the streamers see everything—

Antoine: I know everything that happens on QSMP

Etoiles: —it’s just that the streamers don’t use the info rp wise. Basically I’m apart of an organisation on the server—

Antoine: What, you’re kidding, dude?!

[The others laugh]

ZeratoR: What the fuck?!

Antoine: I’m not supposed to know that, dude!

Etoiles: Basically I’m apart of an organisation that’s called the Resistance—

Antoine: (scoffs)

Etoiles: —and it’s completely hidden within the server, no one knows about it in the roleplay

ZeratoR: Even I knew about it, so

Etoiles: Yeah, well there you go. And therefore I have a hidden team that allows me to go into buildings, kill Federation agents that take care of the Island, and—

Antoine: But why would you want to kill Federation agents, dude?

Etoiles: Well because they’re not very nice, dude

ZeratoR: (laughs) Oh the lore is incredible. Well, it’s not nice to be mean, but…

Etoiles: The thing that’s funny—

Antoine: They’re not mean…

Etoiles: —is that I see messages from people on Twitter reacting like, ‘well I think it’s insane that Etoiles is killing Federation agents,’ when I don’t want to kill them. I never want to kill them. When I kill them, it’s because I’m forced to. And the last time, I didn’t want to kill them—

Antoine: That’s a really war criminal-esque phrase, that

ZeratoR: Clearly

Etoiles: No but bro, bro, it’s the admins themselves that told me, ‘return to the base, let’s fight,’ that’s what they said, bro, so I was like, ‘well, okay’ (laughs)

Antoine: Well that…

Etoiles: It was fun, honestly. And so when I saw all the messages on Twitter like, ‘Etoiles’ character has totally lost his mind,’ I was like, well—

Antoine: What, you don’t like white teddy bears, dude? Honestly, they’re so cool

Etoiles: Then again, white teddy bears aren’t really nice, dude

Antoine: Dude they are simply what I’d call the goat, honestly. They’re what I call the goat, personally, white teddy bears are called the goat

end Video Transcript.]

[onomatopagu-et-cie]

The Killing Vote (ep. 1-5 notes)

I’ve been enjoying this drama and I wanted to post some thoughts about it! This last week’s episode kept me on my toes! It’s a crime they only air a single episode per week, truly a crime aaaa

I don’t really know if people watching this drama are on tumblr but I’ll post here anyway!

Have a nice week!!!

(SPOILERS UP TO EPISODE 5!!!!)

I love Joohyun’s relationship with Kwon Seokju so far, the scene where she played for him Mozart’s Requiem (if I’m not mistaken) while we see her hanging Narae’s stuffed bunny was soothing! Seeing a different approach than Kim Muchan is nice!

KMC’s relationship with KSJ is really intriguing: we only get KMC’s (quite unreliable, that’s what makes it even more interesting!) pov in the first episodes with almost no dialogue between the two of them, and the recent episodes give us another side to their story through KSJ! I really wonder how their relationship got soured (especially from KMC) to the point KMC advises Joohyun not to get too close and get manipulated by KSJ: besides his own guilt for not being able to save Narae in time nor catch her murderer and the fact that the one he looked up to killed Byun Wootaek, something else must’ve happened for it to get THIS sour. What is going onnnnnnn? Or is it all an act? (and KMC/Park Haejin has some sad puppy eyes on par with Im Siwan's and Jung Haein's I can't haha) He affirms KSJ is arrogant and wouldn’t hesitate to take the law in his own hands if it can’t solve the problem while he himself pushes investigations with ways off the record to arrest culprits. He shows a bitter attitude in front of KSJ and Joohyun most of the time when he talks about him, but at the same time he also confided his guilt to Joohyun in private and seemed to regularly ask how KSJ was doing in prison during the past 8 years. I also get the feeling he was asking the warden if KSJ was regularly getting health checks by a doctor out of worry besides the investigation.

(This is some crack theory, but what if the one who murdered BWT was KMC and not KSJ? At this point, the narration is really unreliable so I wouldn't even be surprised!)

On that subject, I wonder if the drama will address KSJ’s health issue with his collapsed lung/asthma again ; his medical visit also seemed shot in order not to show the doctor’s silhouette at all, I wonder if this will hold any significance later on (it could be Jihoon’s grandmother, who knows!)? Not to mention Uhm Eungyeong, the culprit on ep2, was poisoned by Gaetal knowing she had asthma????

When the judge ruled Byun Wootaek’s acquittal (ep4), his gavel (a symbol of the justice) was shot struck right in front of KSJ’s silhouette, above his head, as if justice itself crushed KSJ. A similar symbolism is used in ep5’s Killing Vote:

The flashbacks are beautifully shot, ep4 was really moving. This scene’s lighting furthered the tragedy: it’s as though the orange light and the blood on Narae burn into KSJ and KMC’s profile as they find her, contrasting with Narae and the background’s cold tones:

Also when KSJ recalls how he murdered BWT, the same orange hue colors the shots.

In ep5, we finally hear the voice of a man who is thought to be Gaetal, when he’s talking to KMC over the phone. The opening shows the cast’s profiles, but there’s this one character we haven’t seen yet:

The man in question could totally be this character that wasn’t introduced yet! He’s probably the ‘executor’ of the Killing Vote, who was chatting with the teacher Lee Minsu.

I think Gaetal is definitely not the work of only one person: there’s at least the executor, tech-savvy people organizing the vote (the stream, the text messages, the hacking, …), the one on the stream (or maybe there’s more than one on the stream, a different one per case because the tone and attitude are never the same: agressive, vengeful, or bubbly, or caustic…) and perhaps someone in the police.

The teacher could be Fan no. 1 and/or Gaetal (if it’s not the same person/group): In ep4, we learn KSJ’s « Fan no. 1 » (1호팬, [ilho fan]) regularly sent him letters which would describe in details how the culprits subject to the Killing Vote would be ‘judged’. In ep3, the teacher talks to this ‘executor’ under the pseudo ‘justice15’: if 15 is read with the sino-korean numbers for 1 (일 [il]) and 5 (오 [oh]), the pronunciation would be close to ‘no. 1’, so this could not be a simple coincidence. Also ‘justice’ could be a taunt directed towards KMC’s vision of justice (he uses 정의 to describe his ideal of justice to KSJ) since he seems to deeply resent KMC.

Gaetal uses KSJ and KMC’s words (‘devils deemed innocent’, ‘rational justice’) and interestingly, another character who talks about rationality is the assemblywoman (‘rationality, moral sense and mothers are stronger than the law’)!

Also, this dude is on some twisted christian trip: in ep4, we get a glimpse of the teacher’s tattoo, a cross on his chest that reads… ‘My daddy My hero’… which was what Narae used to say to her father (her hero, making her safe because he’s always there to protect her) and a part of her room’s decoration…

Well, if he killed Narae and his mother made Byun Wootaek the scapegoat for every crimes he committed this far, something must have gone wrong this time for him (and his mother) to deeply resent KMC to the point of wanting to kill him: they managed to pull the strings of the police and judicial system, but KMC must have discovered Lee Minsu was the real culprit (perhaps after KSJ killed BWT) and tried to kill him, which might’ve worsened his heart condition somehow.

(And it’s interesting how the second screenshot shows the teacher discarding his now bloodied watch in disgust after hearing KMC saying ‘I was willing to break rules to catch this heinous criminal as soon as possible’ mmmmh…)

Just as Captain Oh completely denied his liability in ep5, he must have felt wronged, Narae’s case being the only one that 'sullied' him (and this must be why he changed names, from Lee Yunseong to Lee Minsu). Associating the accusations he must’ve faced because of Narae’s case and KMC to the Passion of the Christ in a sick, twisted way, he must’ve thought this tattoo as his own crucifixion leading to his rebirth/his revenge through the Killing Vote?

If the teacher is the mastermind behind the Killing Vote, choosing culprits involved in CSE, SA and CA so far for the votes could be: 1 — to mask his true identity, seemingly siding with true justice while he’s one of those he judges. Also, choosing keywords associated to BOTH KSJ and KMC could be to mislead the police to believe Gaetal is close to KSJ and both KSJ and KMC to suspect one another 2 — a sick way to play with KMC’s concept of justice and using KSJ's trauma (and KMC) ; 3 — to hide the final objective of the Killing Vote: since he gives the public a pretty convincing and sophisticated fact-check all the circumstances surrounding the culprits’ crimes (Gaetal even said in one of their streams that a culprit wouldn’t be subject to the vote if their crimes weren’t true), this could lead the public to believe every case would be exposed truthfully. Which means one of these cases could be fabricated and nobody would realize it at first. If the teacher organized the Killing Vote to get back at KMC (this also seems to benefit his mother’s campaign), perhaps the last vote would accuse KMC or KSJ of Narae’s murder (since no culprit was found guilty) or another crime.

At his final trial, KSJ accused ’the police who released BWT because they cared more about their performance’. We now know the police commissionner, KMC’s superior and the assemblywoman were all linked somehow to what happened 8 years ago. We also got a flashback of Choi Jinsu, KMC’s colleague who was also the detective in charge in both Narae and KSJ’s case, who gave KMC the hint of Byun Wootaek being the culprit. KMC, unlike him, ‘isn’t interested in politics’… He also recognized the teacher as Lee Yunseong, potentially his name before murdering Narae. In ep5, Joohyun automatically ruled CJS out of the suspect list because he’s not close to KSJ… If the premise that Gaetal must be close to KSJ is wrong, then his involvement could be possible: perhaps he was ordered to tamper with the procedure and the pieces of evidence during the two cases? Also, I wonder if KMC’s reputation will get addressed, his superiors must’ve pressured him to follow unofficial orders or he got to discover these orders (eg. maybe in Narae’s case?) and ever since he’s the man to ask for to do the dirty work? Or KMC could have deliberately gained his ‘Wipeout’ reputation to get closer to the truth of what happened 8 years ago?

In the first episode, the video test Joohyun found on Joomin’s laptop is named ‘Lrae091515’: if the drama takes place in 2023, the tragic events surrounding KSJ, KMC and Joohyun ‘8 years ago’ would have taken place in 2015! Could this refer to the final day of KSJ’s trial (or the day Narae was killed)? The pseudo ‘justice15’ could also be a reference to that date.

As for the ‘Lrae’… It could be a wild WILD guess but ‘Lrae’ could be ‘irae’ as in Dies Irae/day of wrath (capital i looks like a lowercase L), which is a sequence in Requiem mass!

The video test was only found on Joomin’s laptop when all the Internet cafe computers got the virus: the one who hacked the computers likely targeted Joomin or her sister, a police officer deliberately.

The tag in Narae’s room (‘the 13th was wrong’):

(It’s also a bit disturbing the tag was sprayed right on top of the ‘My daddy My hero’…)

— the narrative makes us think the tag refers to the 13th failed stab but it could be something else entirely (and perhaps KSJ is keeping this hint to himself?) — if the christian subtext truly exists in this drama (especially with the teacher’s tattoo), 13 is a number often linked in superstitions to the Cena, Judas (who betrayed Jesus, thought to have been the 13th guest to sit down to the Last Supper) and bad luck: whoever tagged this maybe wanted to signal KSJ the man he killed wasn’t the true culprit.

There is also a similar version in the norse mythology I found here:

« In his book “Extraordinary Origins of Everyday Things,” Charles Panati traces the concept of the cursed back to Norse mythology, when Loki, the god of mischief, gate-crashed a banquet in Valhalla, bringing the number of gods in attendance to 13. Deceived by Loki, the blind god Hodr was tricked into shooting his brother Balder, the god of light, joy and goodness, with a mistletoe-tipped arrow, killing him instantly. » And… we see the teacher communicating through the ‘Loki’ network (a wordplay for what would be Tor I guess, just as Apple would become a pear on laptops in media haha)!

(This is quite a reach, but for posterity in the opening, the 13th character shown is KMC, and in reverse order Jihoon haha)

The tag neither the news articles on Narae and KSJ’s cases weren’t in Gaetal’s video test:

idk how to explain, but I get the feeling that person A (who leaked the video), B (the Gaetal we see on the video), C (the Gaetal who’s now organizing the Killing Vote) & D (who tagged the wall and pinned the news articles about KSJ and Narae) could be different characters with respective objectives too. The drama highlights a bit too much the premise that Gaetal is one single individual that’s close to KSJ haha At the very least, whoever leaked the video knew someone else, especially KMC, would eventually be able to recognize its contents (‘devils deemed innocent’, Narae’s room and her stuffed bunny). Also for posterity, KMC was the one who ostensibly redirected KSJ’s attention to the picture of the tag on the wall.

The assemblywoman and the teacher both have a habit to touch their ear sometimes (eg. when she talked to him about KMC ; when the teacher was watching the student during PE). Jihoon also did it right after the teacher left: was it to try to reproduce what he did to understand what he was watching or is he linked to them?

At the very least Jihoon seems to know some things about the Killing Vote, the teacher as well as KMC:

— In ep1, he bumped into Joohyun as he went to retrieve one of the cups the teacher seems to make a collection of.

On the cup, there’s an ’S’ graved on it, just as the telltale sign of the Killing Vote is the character ㅅ/siot (시옷), the first character of 사형 (death penalty/capital punishment).

— He seems to know more than he lets on about the Killing Vote and keeps staring at the teacher (as though he knows his past crimes, eg. the closeups on the teacher grabbing/borderline groping Joomin’s shoulder, watching the students during PE etc.).

— He seemed startled when Joomin talked about ‘zombie PCs’.

— In ep3, Jihoon says: « I think [he] took it too far this time. » right after he saw KMC being alive and the man with the cap escape (which could totally be this character in the opening we’ve not yet seen). In Korean, the subject is often omitted and deduced from the context, it’s the case here: the drama keeps the ambiguity on whatever Jihoon meant here.

— Him being Narae’s friend would also make sense: as Narae was 8yo, she would be around Joomin and Jihoon’s age if she was still alive. There’s also Narae’s drawings that keep being showed, a boy/young man is always drawn on it.

As a child’s representation of adults and children could be inaccurate (the height, physical appearance, etc.), the characters we see on her drawings could be alternatively KMC (who was close to KSJ and given KSJ’s answer, also doted on her daughter), KSJ, a boy Narae used to play with (it could be Jihoon), the teacher or BWT, the son of the driver and the housekeeper who were also close to Narae and KSJ.

The assemblywoman asked her assistant to observe her son closely: I guess that refers to his health but it’s also to make sure he doesn’t commit crimes anymore. She also said to her son he definitely knows she’s ready to do anything to make Gaetal join her so that her campaign is successful: this + joking on TV how a mother is above the law suggest she definitely pulled strings to save their reputation (eg. using BWT as a convenient scapegoat ; tampering with the trials ; changing his son’s name etc.).

Joohyun thinks Gaetal acts like a hacker. That would also make Jodan (in ep5, he revealed he was arrested for hacking), Jihoon, the teacher and Joohyun herself suspects!

KSJ’s interest in Joohyun is curious: he even looked into her background once he met her & seems to focus on her habit to scratch her scar ; KMC’s comment on how unusual KSJ’s behavior was (specifically requesting Joohyun to communicate with ; negotiating his pardon — while he didn’t regret what he did at all) makes me think that: — in the letters or in some other way, Gaetal must’ve instructed him to obtain a pardon (perhaps they even told him to get rid of the letters to make him indispensable to the police) — Gaetal must’ve told him he would seek the truth to what happened to Narae: for someone who didn’t regret avenging her daughter, revealing Byun Wootaek was a scapegoat and the true culprit is roaming free out there would be plenty enough drive for him to find a way to get out of prison — whoever they are, Gaetal must’ve an ulterior motive to involve Joohyun, KSJ and KMC together

The first episode showed similar shots of KSJ and KMC (same backlighting, same low-angle shot, KSJ avenging his daughter and KMC lashing out on Bae Gicheol to stop him from abusing his wife):

I wonder if we’ll get to see KMC’s relationship with the woman on his photo (likely his mother), this is probably the only shot we get of him smiling not out of spite ;;

For Mu in Muchan, one of the hanja that can be given as a name is 橅, which means law, and it’s ironic given how the law failed him and KSJ ; sometimes characters are given names that will hold meaning in their development eg. Donghoon & Jian in My Mister ; Dongsik and Juwon in Beyond Evil.

For Ju in Seokju, there is 澍, which means timely/long-awaited rain ; rain has marked 2 important events in KSJ’s life: when he discovered his daughter’s body and when he was arrested by KMC after murdering Byun Wootaek ; there’s also 炷 which means wick, aligning with the OST lyrics (a fire burning in one’s eyes)

[bubblegum-gf]

Do you have an intro guide to rtumblr I want to be there but I feel like I don’t know something everyone else knows . If that makes sense

@my-name-is-daniel-yes has a very helpful link in his pinned post that I will re-link to you here, a quite expansive post about the history of rtumblr until 2022

(I think daniel's part of that post is much more relevant and useful than mine)

since you are here I will try to give you some succinct explanations on 4 key pillars of rtumblr. (It accidentally became another essay-)

If I got something wrong or anyone wants to add something feel free.

RTCLER

Explanation: In the summer of 2020 this post was made comparing RTGame to the onceler- the infamous tumblr sexyman. Primarily because he wears a suit and acts as a capitalist in games. And has "onceler energy" This is, I'd say, the beginning of rtumblr and our reputation for cursed posts. Then a blog for rtcler, @/ask-the-rt-cler was made similar to the old onceler ask blogs and we all started roleplaying. The roleplays have been dead for a while. See rtcler's blog for more information or more confusion. Additionally a lot of fanart and stuff was made so I think rtcler became pretty well-known.

2. THE BOARD

Explanation: This post is very long and most of it won't make sense. But it is extremely important to rtumblr. I will tell you why this post exists. In November 2021, RTGame tweeted that he looked at tumblr and was surprised by the amount of fanart here. Followed by "Who is the onceler, like really." Everyone freaked out wondering if he knows about rtcler, how much he's seen, and if he has a secret tumblr blog. Soon people started making blogs like notrtgame or not-not-rtgame or I-am-rtgame as if they were rt's secret tumblr blog. Then Fluffy posted The Board, trying to describe the relationship between RT, people associated with him, AU versions of him, and these fake rt blogs. It got out of hand fast. This led to more roleplays as c!Fluffy becomes crazy? mad with power? putting more and more rts on The Board. Those roleplays are also kinda dead right now but by god there's a lot of lore there over the past few years. There's more posts explaining all that somewhere.

3. HOLY FUCK THERE'S A LOT OF RTS

This google doc is also in @my-name-is-daniel-yes's pinned post as mentioned above. It contains links to over 600 RTGame AUs, ranging in complexity from a full on AU with lore, to art of a cute design, to a singular post just suggesting it as an AU. There's not gonna be a pop quiz on this you don't have to know all this. I just put it here because I feel like we reference it a lot when talking about how many rts there are (or at least I do, I'm obsessed with the concept). Have a little scroll through if you want, people make a lot of cool stuff and perhaps you'll see something you like.

4. MAGICAL JOHN

He is also a tumblr sexyman he's on the wiki. If you haven't seen rt's miitopia series he's a character in that. Rtumblr fell in love with him and likes to ship him with Chat. I thought it was important to include him because he's still quite popular even after like 2 years. Someone else talk about him more I can't write any more. The dandelion theory

That's all I got

If you do have a question don't be shy you can always go "hey what the FUCK is this! #rtumblr" and we will run to you with many many links.

[wishingicouldfly]

Debunking that Louis came out to the Rovers in August 2013 - posted January 11, 2023

I don't necessarily want to rehash old stuff, but I've seen a few people talking about this recently and it came up in one of my group chats this morning. I like context and I like to debunk things that aren't true about the boys.

This morning in one of my group chats someone brought up an OLD OLD OLD question. The story goes that in 2013, when Louis was signing on to the Doncaster Rovers as part of the reserve team for a charity gig, some of his football teammates congratulated him for being one of the UK’s first openly gay footballers. There are tweets that purportedly support this story.

It didn’t make sense to me that in 2013, Louis was coming out publicly to anyone in a group setting, and I had a bit of time, so decided to go down the rabbit hole a bit to find out more.

If you weren’t aware, a bit later in 2014, Louis tried to buy into the team. One Direction's Louis Tomlinson buys Doncaster Rovers | Doncaster Rovers | The Guardian

Disclaimer. I wasn’t here then. So, someone knows more than me for sure. Let me know if you remember something different or if you were here and can clarify, or if you know of anyone who has a master post about it.

Adding a cut.

Here's what started my research. This is a screen shot from someone claiming that Louis came out to his Rovers Teammates and that some of them congratulated him, mentioning that he was the first openly gay UK footballer, and then immediately deleted their tweets.

This screen shot is blurry but it’s what we started with. The poster states that Louis came out to his teammates through a loophole.

Through some searching, I was able to find someone with a better screen shot. Credit to Twitter user @/babyhykeem. You can see better here that these tweets existed. In August 2013, people were repeating the idea that Louis was the first openly gay UK footballer.

My original theory that they were faked or manips seems false. The tweets happened. Some of those users are still there and if you put "Louis Tomlinson first gay footballer" into the Twitter search bar you'll get a bunch of hits/reactions from August 3, 2013, so it happened.

Here's the thing. Just because something happened doesn't make all of it true. It doesn't make any sense that in 2013, at the height of 1D popularity, that Louis would in any way publicly announce his sexuality. Gay rumors were rampant, but no one was confirming anything.

One of my chat members (thanks, @/DawnieP12 on Twitter) looked at the team roster from 2013-2014. Louis was listed as #28, but none of those other names in that screen shot are listed. So these people were not teammates.

A bit more searching, and I found these screenshots of Tweets from a person called @/Ryan67_ (thanks to Twitter user @/monnbenn for the screenshots).

This looks like ground zero to me. On 8/1/13, this kid posts the "inadvertently came out" post that got picked up by all the other accounts. He was a player on one of the youth leagues and someone told him that L had come out. It was a rumor/gossip and the kid posted it. Maybe innocently. Maybe he made it up. We don't know. Maybe he believed something he was told. It's important to note that he never claimed to witness it himself.

There are allusions to these tweets on Tumblr and Twitter from the time as well as in football chat groups (some of them are super homophobic). But nothing that I can find from actual players to whom he supposedly came out.

My final analysis: The Tweets about Louis coming out to the team and being the first openly gay footballer WERE real, but they were not made by teammates, coworkers or colleagues, only propagated by people (possibly shading, you decide based on their tone) sharing a rumor/gossip started by a kid who was playing on the youth team and was given false information.

Some of the reactions seem well intentioned and honestly congratulatory, while some seem homophobic and mean spirited. Regardless, they all are feeding off something that was very likely false to begin with.

I'm not making any statements about how Louis identifies his sexuality either now or in 2013, just that I don't believe he came out to the team, or that any of the team made statements about his sexuality publicly.

If someone has a memory of this or knows something more, please don't hesitate to let me know here or on Twitter @Rosann_1986.

As always, there's always a chance I'm wrong, and I will willingly admit being wrong should alternative information become available.

[king-litchi]

Picture source : @Mnine5 (Meijo) in Twitter

Note : actually, it’s not a request but I was bored and I wondered « what kind of person would the SNK characters on the social medias be » - soo here we go

Sorry for my english…I am french and I still learning - please forgive me and protect your eyes 🤧

Warning : (12+) social media can be dangerous

SHINGEKI NO KYOJIN ON SOCIAL MEDIA 💥

Eren

Instagram : friends, family, abs, outfits, travel….king of instagram, super popular on instagram, everyone follow him but he only follows his friends and instagram he finds interesting, over time it has become an influence, Eren has like a million followers on Insta @IamErenJaeger

Snapchat :  « who has a netflix account ? » in story, selfies with friends at all kinds of events, often takes pictures of Mikasa and Armin by surprise, never puts a filter on for him or for the people he snaps, everyone can watch his story and comment (public baby), already received nudes… @ErenJaegeeer

Whatsapp : he is in all group discussions but rarely answers, when he answers it is surely because the conversation becomes funny or because they talk about Jean and then it degenerates (when too far between Eren and Jean everyone leaves the group and they end up « wait…everyone is gone…? ») and a new groupe is created but the fight starts again (others are like « here we go again » )

Twitter :  can easily get upset in a debate, is not afraid to say what he thinks, it is blocked by a lot of people (please take away his twitter), has a large fanbase : Jaegerist (@CaptainFlochForster is the leader fanbase…best to avoid them.) it’s very simple : either you’re wrong or you’re not right @ErenJaeger

Tumblr :  He is not really known on tumblr, follow only his friends and is followed only by his friends. Does a lot of reblog tumblr he likes and post a lot kind of sick jokes like « What is the only dog you can eat? - A Hot Dog » (20 followers…)

Armin

Instagram : sharing photos of his travels around the world, a lot of ocean scenery, monuments like the Eifel Tower, does not put a photo of him or his friends, his instagram is public to share his beautiful photos with the world  (2,5K followers) @ArminVibe

Twitter : Sharing conspiracy theories with other twittos, if by misfortune a conspiracy ends up in TT you can be sure that it will tweet all evening, twitter reveals its dark side, It can deal with all subjects and he’s gonna take his time to make you understand that you’re WRONG @ArminArlett

Snapchat : he doesn’t know why he has a snapchat, if you send him a snap photo he will just look without answering but if you start a discussion he will probably lose your message if you have not recorded (his fault, but he really does not do it on purpose, he does not really drag on this social media)

Whatsapp : quite active on whatsapp, in groups it is the one that stays the longest active, uses a correct grammar, always has time for someone who needs to talk (a colossal heart…)

Tumblr : very popular on tumblr with his famous landscape photos, he also likes to share theories with whoever wants it, has created a discussion group of which Erwin and Hanji are part (these three are often found in several discussion groups…), is subscribed to Annie

Mikasa

Instagram : her account is private (like most of his social medias) if she does not know you be sure that she will never accept a subscription request (and she receives a lot of subscription requests), sometimes post photos of Eren and her, sometimes with Armin and a picture with the whole group together, has maximum 5 publications and has maximum 100 subscriptions and she subscribes to only 25 people (who are they?) and her favorite girl’s band @MikasaAckerman

Twitter : is fan of girl’s band, a twitter just to follow their news, she has already been on top tweet (never knew why and honestly she doesn’t care), her account is totally private but she receives a lot of follow requests (she declines) @MikasaAckerman

Snapchat : does not do a lot of selfie but she likes cute filters, often does black snap with dark quotes « the sun always shines after a dark night » , tends to reply 2 days after being sent a snap (🤡) yet she makes the flames with Eren (already 834 flames) so she just ignores snaps

Whatsapp : she is in full of group discussions, but always reads without answering (”Read”), she often ends up leaving the discussion groups (but there is always someone to add her to the group, often Sasha)

Tumblr : has a fake account, by the way she is super popular, she posts her covers of her favorite songs @Mikasong (fucking great voice), already has a small community

Reiner

Instagram : is totally subscribed to Emily Ratajkowski (but who is not?), was the first happy to know that the likes are hidden, kind to like a lot of ass and body fitness (…<.<) it’s sure Historia blocked him (probably deserved) @ReinerBraun

Twitter : profile photo of a football player, often mentions his friends, and ALWAYS mentions Conny for challenges « Dare or not to ring your neighbor’s door at 3:00am and ask him for sugar », the kind to tweets like « Nicki Minaj or Cardi b ? » @ReinerTheBigBrother

Snapchat : You see this guy who makes a lot of views on snap and who everyone asks for publicity? Yes, it’s Reiner. Become master of the screenshot (already found himself in a complicated situation because of it…this awkward moment where you catch something you shouldn’t capture…), also receives nudes (btw 🤡) he never watches stories @ReineerGg

Whatsapp : he often ends up being ejected from discussion groups for his dubious humour and is often the victim of Ymir’s blackmail (screenshots can be fatal…)

Tumblr : he doesn’t even know what it’s for

Bertholdt

Instagram : has two instagram accounts, the first is his real account, he only follows his friends and is only followed by his friends and the second is a (secret) fan account on Annie Leonhart @fannie-kickass

Snapchat : goes selfie on occasions like birthdays (party) or when he is with friends, likes animal filters, snap everyone and without warning, during the evenings with friends he often finds himself in the snap of everyone without his knowledge and discovers him the next day (sleeper pose) @Berth5

Whatsapp : the kind of person to share a lot of petitions like « Hi, Nolan still needs 300,000 signatures to be able to convince his parents to buy him ps5 » (he can’t refuse to share when asked…colossal heart - like Armin <.<), calm in group discussions (is not the type to get involved in an argument, always remains neutral when the situation degenerates), he often speaks with Reiner privately and gives him advice on how to approach Annie - but by the time he decided to send a message to Annie, she had already deleted the application… (legend says he’s still waiting for an answer)

Twitter : if you identify him in a tweet, it will probably not read it but will still like it (why not), he does definitely part of the commentators of entertainment shows or sports matches @Bertholdt

Tumblr : hesitates to create a tumblr but does not really know what he could talk about

Annie

Instagram : shares his training and does not hesitate to make demonstrations of his techniques, is quite popular on instagram, to a lot of publication, post a photo with his father just after each victory with a caption « It is God who gives » ; already has a good community (320K followers), account is certified

Snapchat : never goes on his account, totally professional use, it is his father who manages his snapchat to post in story the videos her training and his official matches with the caption « Little Rocky 🔥 »

Whatsapp : it ended up deleting the app because too much discussion that ends in spam (it will be for a next time Berth)

Tumblr : her little cocoon where she can be herself, the only social media that has her interest, her tumblr is dedicated to the cat, she is a fan @Kitty-Catnnie , the only person in the group to know her tumblr is Armin with whom she sometimes chat

Twitter : She is still on top tweet despite her « Mikasa vs Annie, who wins ??? », she never tweet but retweet a lot of things especially those of Conny, it happens to like the tweets of commentator Jean

Jean

Instagram : if you want to see his account you must first subscribe, generally accept all requests, send quite a lot of DM like « you wouldn’t have a bandage because I hurt myself by falling in love with you » sometimes succeeds other times it ends blocked ( or screenshots that end up on Twitter) @JeanOfficiel

Snapchat : He was blocked by Mikasa and Eren (not for the same reasons), made the flames with everyone (but the most with Marco), has already tried to snap Mikasa in secret (it is caught in the act), loves selfies @Ihateeren

Whatsapp : the kind who doesn’t look to whom he sends a message and always has the wrong discussion, so becomes panicked « DONT READ!!! » accidentally already sent a nude in a group discussion (unfortunately screenshots have been made) Eren laughed about this story for several months like « How is Jeanbo doing ? He’s grown up since last time? » (he doesn’t talk about Jean…you know…)

Tumblr : he created a popular mini series on tumblr « You prefer…? » and also « If you were… » (the concept is very cool and we can do it with all the subjects), made a lot reblog, reblog ALL covers of Mikasa

Twitter : has been blocked by half of the tweetos sphere after several heated debates, is one of the people who comment on the shows mainly reality TV (he does it with passion) « SANDRA LEAVES WITH ANTONIO W/O MONEY !!!! IT’S A FUCKIIIING JOKE ?????!!!!! #TheVillaOfBrokenHeart2 » or « I’m the only one who hates Mike ? #MonacoShore » , it’s that kind of tweet that Annie likes) @JeanKirschtein

Marco

Instagram : accepts only requests from friends, his account is private, sharing small moments of his life with friends and families, use many hashtag like #AllThatGlittersIsNotGoldEvenJean (but nobody understands what he means)

Snapchat : often comments his friends’ stories, is the kind to come talk to you if you put a dark snap like « cruel world »

Whatsapp : often receives private messages like « Marco, are you there? » it always ends in long discussions (« The confidant ») he knows how to find the right words, it is active and always “available” if someone needs it

Twitter : always makes Jean’s defense on twitter, the kind of person to be part of a fanbase (like HarryPotter), uses hastag LGBT+

Tumblr : super popular on tumblr, he makes headcanons and screenplays of his favorite books, series and movies, has a preference for Yaoi but he can make any request (2K followers) @HalfMan

Conny

Instagram : very very popular on instagram thanks to his account with Sacha where they share their farce and does not hesitate to challenge, they post the pranks they make to their friends (1M followers) they are not yet certified @TwoDummies , he has a second private account :  with just family and friends (arround 55 followers) @hismotherson

Snapchat : the kind of person who does a snap at 2H00 of the mat « who for the flames », has a lot of snap discussions, always makes stories that ends badly like « I’m going to ride a bike » and in his last snap he ends up in emergency… (true story)

Whatsapp : has an unimaginable number of “caption this” for ALL situations, it sometimes created discussion groups (it’s just that it prepares a stupidity) otherwise is not super active but will always answer if it has a message

Twitter : clash with everyone « Your mother was pregnant for 9 months of your big head but you can’t stand a joke ? SHAME » (blocked), king of challenges, makes all the challenges where it is mentioned, retweet all the « Dare or not… » of Reiner, uses a lot of abbreviation, he invented a lot of hastag like #AlphaLevi and people have fun with his hastag

Tumblr : his more than empty tumblr, has no profile photo, and compulsive liker, it’s literally a fake account for liking funny things @JustConny

Sasha

Instagram : receives many comments under the photos of his joint account with Conny like « POTAETOS GIRL WE LOVE U » and « POTAETOS POWER », often pranks and ends up in the account, has a second private instafood account and also post photos with Nikolo @MadamePatate

Snapchat : oh my dear, he gets into a lot of trouble (funny drama) so stay connected for his “Storytime” evenings (we often hear Ymir commenting in the background with sarcasm and Conny’s laugh)

Whatsapp : the kind of person to send in a « bbiad » discussion (I’ll be back in a bit) and never come back in the discussion, written in abbreviation, loves group conversations

Twitter : has disabled twitter because of a "caption” that Conny posted on it (potaetos girl exists thanks to a tweet) but there reactivated a week later, tweets like a dramaqueen « WHAAAAT @netflix SEASON TWO IS COMING OUT TOMORROW BUT NOT TODAY  ???? WHYYYYYYYYY ! I’m never gonna be able to wait till tomorrow to eat my popcorns frkrkellelrlrl BUY ME POPCORNS NETFLIX BUUUY », has already been on top tweet #potatoesgirl

Tumblr : victim of her reputation even on tumblr, reblog a lot of post food and potential future challenges from Conny, often finds “caption this” with her face and always reacts with a more than dramatic surprise « SHIT AGAIN ??! »

Historia

Instagram : receives a lot of DM from people she doesn’t know, never accept them, like all the photos of her friends, you can see her insta only if you subscribe…(15K followers) @RealHistoria

Snapchat : renames all her friends by cute nicknames, the kind that snaps the place where she is or her food with a « have a nice day », queen of selfie, likes the filters

Whatsapp : uses a lot of emoji, hearts have become a punctuation, in group discussions she often comments « Ymir !! » after a sarcastic comment, tries to temper when the situation becomes too stormy

Twitter : avoids twitter like the plague, has disabled her account, reactivates it on occasions before losing interest once again, in fact her account is a fake where she is named @christaLenz

Tumblr : pretty active, committed LGBT+ activist, reblog testimonials, lots of likes, reblog Mikasa covers a.k.a Mikasong

Ymir

Instagram : a lot of photos of Historia (it looks like a fan account), often comments the photos of her friends (unfortunately for them) @Ymir

Snapchat : a lot of selfie with Historia, if a fight or something awkward happens in front of her she will be the first to make a snap (and no scruple to put it in her story), if Reiner is the King of awkward screenshots then she is the Queen for INTENTIONAL screenshots, her memories are filled with compromising photos on EVERYONE

Whatsapp : Do you remember the screenshots on snap? Well it is on Whatsapp that they find their usefulness. Can send them to a discussion group as if nothing had happened but her specialty is a service for her silence (yes blackmail) it’s never anything bad, but enough to piss off the victim (who is often Reiner)

Tumblr : forgot her password and honestly she doesn’t want to find it, why did she tumblr ?

Twitter : she is often upset about debates, often sarcastic in her retweets, « Caption This », always the last word, she is very popular on Twitter, she’s already been on top tweet (because a drama with her identity) @LadyYmir

Levi

Instagram : does not really look at his newsline, Instagram in black and white and very orderly (#GrandArt), his account is public but no one can comment on his photos @LeviAckerman

Snapchat : a block Hanji (too many snap video that turned into spam), to rename all his contacts by nicknames like « Brat Number one », « Brat Number 2 » (etc.) and Zeke « shithead » nothing abnormal, It has already posted a snap of his head in front camera (had not done it on purpose) deleted after realizing…(especially after receiving plenty of notifications), he and Zeke attack each other by proxy story (no one understands…but it’s funny to read)

Whatsapp : is always “offline” or “busy” but will always respond if sent a message, probably blocked Zeke on all social medias

Tumblr : shares his passion for tea and cleanliness, loves the healthy atmosphere of tumblr, has quite a fan, reblog and subscribes to Armin @TeaWithLevi

Twitter : Tweet by accident (in the pocket >.<) like « jf’dyt’rimsjrdy’yfgi » but other thant he almost never tweets, but when he does it is to complain or creepy « today I learned that a lollipop breaks easily like the legs of a clown » (…we don’t want understand), he’s already been on top tweet with the #AlphaLevi like « #AlphaLevi can surround his ennemies. Alone. » ; « #AlphaLevi makes the onions cry » ; « #AlphaLevi can go up downstairs » (we thank Conny for this hashtag) @LeviAckerman

Hanji

Instagram : honestly if you want to do a search on someone you have to check with Hanji, FBI of the net (”the stalker”), its account is public : post photos with Levi (who has to be taken by surprise) mentions everyone on its posts, photo with Moblit during their experiences (like “Break”), its instagram looks cool @OfficerZoe

Snapchat : snap often its scientific experiments (and other) and we always hear Moblit screaming in the background « Hanji-san! Back ! » , they like to comment on the stories of Levi and Zeke, already tried to make the flames with Levi and Erwin (tried without success)

Whatsapp : spends its time doing focus groups before it degenerates, its favorite pairs are Eren/ Jean and Levi/ Zeke but never has a battery

Tumblr : strangely its tumblr is very serious, they share its hypotheses and theories on scientific subjects, they talk about its experiences and future scientific experiments, they post the results of its research, has its own focus group (Erwin is one of them) @DrHZoe

Twitter : @Dr.troublegirl everything is in the pseudo, will accumulate and then become spectator of a massacre, his catchphrase is « you’re implying… »

Erwin

Instagram : it is very orderly and pleasant to look at, post works of art that crosses his path, does not often check his actuality but when he does it everyone is happy…(always the little comment that makes a good mood and a little like)

Snapchat : his story is public but only his “friends” can comment, snap his visits to the museum and snap a lot the streetart but is not really active when he makes “snap discussion” @Eyebrow (account created by Hanji…)

Whatsapp : uses impeccable punctuation and grammar, often discusses with Armin on intellectual topics and confronts their assumption he is the only one who is not part of a discussion group with ALL the characters (just a few groups like Hanji/Levi/Mike), from time to time he receives family photos of Niail and talks about old times

Twitter : activist totally committed to good causes ( #blacklivesmatter) (#justicepourAdama ), retweet the political news, has already tweeted with the #AlphaLevi @ErwinSmitt

Tumblr : pretty active, post on subjects that fascinate him (like history), his tumblr is very interesting and orderly, proposes developed theories and some people (students like Conny) go there to find answers to their homework… @Sasageyo

Zeke / Sieg

Instagram : created an insta to talk with Eren but he got blocked after commenting on one of his photos « Beautiful sweetren, you grow up day by day, signed your beloved brother » didn’t understand why he couldn’t see his instagram after that ; his instagram is very neat : instafood & instabook but doesn’t have many followers because his instagram account is private (like 150 follower) @ZekeJaerger

Snapchat : made stories to address to Eren instead of sending him directly in private (didn’t really understand the concept) that’s how to start the attacks between him and Levi, Eren ended up deleting the app to him

Whatsapp : uses impeccable grammar (also blocked Livai on all its social medias), tends to read without answering « Read since two days »

Twitter :  tweets like « I am now on twitter. » or  « Good Morning Twitter. » and lots of  « Join me on Candy Crush » , he also likes to comment on his favorite culinary shows with a lot hastag, honestly he is one of the people who blocked Eren on Twitter but does not really assume it  « What ? Weird…I must have hit the wrong button… » yes of course… @ZekeJaeger

Tumblr : reblog Erwin’s posts which he finds very interesting, to himself his own theories which he confronts with Erwin in discussion groups, is part of a quite popular team on tumblr “GenshiKyojin”, (with leader Eren Kruger) #uses #too #much #hastag (#like #me) @KemenoNoKyojin

[crones-trash]

I was talking to my friend the other day and we have an interesting theory and I would like your opinion on it. We were discussing Brad Pitt and how he “over corrects” which leads to further unhappiness and more rash decisions. I think Calvin is this way as well.

For instance, Brad went from totally high maintenance Gwyneth Paltrow to extremely laid back Jennifer Aniston, got bored and then went to Angelina Jolie who was fresh off of her marriage to Billy Bob and wearing vials of blood around her neck and open about her sexual relationships (this is not a drag, I promise, just that she was totally opposite Jennifer and uptight socialite Gwyneth). It seems as if Calvin fits into the same pattern.

Calvin went from non famous Sophie and Sophia to VS models and Rita who was not just famous, but kind of an exhibitionist with what she told to the press. I remember Rita giving an interview about being in a relationship (idk if she mentioned names, but it was implied to be about Calvin) where she talked about her partner just shut off like a light switch and went from very hot to cold all of the sudden. I just thought Calvin didn’t like the tabloid attention on their relationship. I suspected I was right when he started dating Aarika who was laid back, private and not famous. I remember seeing them relaxing on the beach and then BAM! Out of nowhere he dropped Aarika for the most famous pop star and paparazzi hunted star in the world. It was obvious he didn’t like that he got even more attention, and so much of it negative, than him and Rita. So then he eventually went back to Aarika for what I thought would be a quiet life, only to change his mind AGAIN. Now he is yet again with someone who it seems (although we could be wrong) is the total opposite of Aarika. It feels like Calvin makes a decision, decides he’s bored or unhappy, makes the OPPOSITE decision, then switches back like a pendulum.

His career decision as of late feels this way as well. He went from being THE most famous DJ, to pulling back and living a nice quiet life farming. He wasn’t retired, he still had major collabs and the success of FWB1, but he had pulled back from celebrity and I thought he would go forward and be successful of course, but not as the same fame level as 2013-2015. Now he is in hyper work mode. Which is not a bad thing and no way am I dragging him. But it’s very much a 180 turn.

I know men like this in real life. They aren’t happy, so they do the exact opposite and it annoys me and I feel it’s extremely immature. It’s what teenagers and men having a mid life crisis do. And it’s always the women in their life who has stood beside them that gets hurt and tossed aside. Anyway I’m sorry this was a very long ask lol. I just wanted your opinion. I’m looking forward to FWB2. I’m just not going to be invested in Calvin’s personal life anymore.

My goodness, the last time I sent an Anon message, which was years ago, there was a word limit! I feel like I should say "use your own blog" but I completely understand if you're a Tumblr User whose blog exists only to allow you to send Anon messages & have private chats. That's what I intended to do when I signed in. HA! Now. I'm going to encourage you to use it because you've given reasoned examples to support your POV & I truly respect that. We could re-blog each other!

Also, I fucking agree w/ you! The last few years, I believed Calvin had matured into having a balanced life w/ a solid commitment. I always knew he was a neurotic mess but hoped he had it under control. Dumping Aarika—AGAIN— blew away that false impression. My immediate explanation was: he's having a mid-life crisis.

But, I think you've proven HE'S ALWAYS BEEN THIS WAY! He's a fucking fickle egocentric hot/cold guy who can't make up his mind about what he wants! And frankly, I can't stand watching him fuck up his life again!

OTOH, there's this:

And OMG! I can't wait to hear & see this!

It sounds like something I'm gonna love! Ya'know, genius is inherently flawed. We can still love his music while not liking the hopelessly immature person he currently seems to be. Throwing out the baby w/ the bathwater is especially stupid when that spoiled rotten baby creates glorious music!

[amimons]

is that really anything worse than marinettes VA saying she was “drinking lovesquare stans tears”? I dont like that lukas va sturs up ship hate, but other VAs do it too and ive never seen anyone say anything bad about it when they do it? But ive seen lots of people hate lukas VA and i dont get how it’s any different

I don't typically speak about what any of the VA do mostly because I don't follow them on any socials and will get my information either here or by chatting with people. But the blanket statement I said in the other ask applies to any VA which was "VA shouldn't add fuel to the flames like that especially when the claims are not gonna be true, I just think messing with shipping wars like that is petty."

The reason why I'm only talking about Luka's VA (aka Andrew) is because someone asked about why the rumor of Luka finding out someone's identity was going around and he made a tweet that was pushing the theory and potentially spoiling the show. So in the tags, I mentioned he got under my skin, and then I was asked why. If it wasn't for those reasons I wouldn't be talking about Luka's English VA on here. Personally, I've never come across any discourse on tumblr regarding this VA so I can't really speak for him getting more blasted over other English VAs cuz I've never really seen it on here.

But I will say Christina's picture even though I didn't think it was funny and it does feed into shipping drama that I don't agree with, I know it was supposed to come off mostly humorous. While Andrew's tone usually comes across as salty about being the second love interest and more hateful towards the Lovesquare.

In general, I don't like it when voice actors try to get involved with ship wars, because ship wars already make the fandom space feel less enjoyable and more argumentative. I don't think actors in a show should be antagonizing the fandom's ships and just not get involved in it because it gets so messy. But this wasn't something I was gonna bring up over other VAs, but Andrew recently did something and then I was asked why I found his behavior annoying.

[show-choir-gal]

"Smart Talk" Zach Dempsey Imagine

Requested by anon on Tumblr: "Hellooo c: could you write a fic on zach dempsey from 13 reasons why? Specifically the reader being a biology nerd and has aspirations of becoming a doctor some day, and zach being interested in her because he wants to be a marine biologist? Thanks! Love your blog btw ^^"

A/N: Heyo! I just wanted to pop in and see how y'all were doing and to say that I kind of switched it up and made the reader want to be a biochemist when she graduated so I hope you don't mind that little change! I cried writing this, so I’m sorry if you cry too

Warnings: mentions of death due to disease, absolutely sad backstory about a father with ALS

Word Count: 6,624

Guide: Y/N - Your Name Y/L/N - Your Last Name

Masterlist of Mastelists

-------------

The first day of school was always filled with nerves and excitement. But I am new, and a sophomore and that didn't make this transfer any easier. I had moved away from Ohio with my mum at the beginning of the summer, my father passed away after a long and tough battle with ALS. I'm 16 now, he was diagnosed when I just about turned 10. He always wanted to live in California, it was his dream to have a beach house with just the three of us. I was always his little girl. Even when his ALS progressed, he was always working so hard to stay as long as he could. He was such a fighter. Mum and him worked hard on finding a house in California before he would pass, get to live out his dream. We had found a house, the house mum and I now live in, a year ago but had to finalise the selling of our other house before we could move. But that hope soon cam tumbling down due to my father quickly getting worse. We were so close to moving, but it got put on hold. He was deteriorating faster than ever before and it was hard to watch the fighter I once knew look so defeated. Before he lost the ability to speak he told us, "Well if Stephen Hawking can do it, so can I." He was always so strong in front of me and mum, but we knew better. Every day after school I went to my dads hospital room and told him about my day and school and do my homework with him. I came in one day, a big smile on my face as I looked him in the eye and said, "I know what I want to be when I grow up dad. I want to be a Biochemist. I want to make medicine that will help you and the others that come after you. I want to do this for you dad." He smiled as best as he could and got out a shaky, "I love you so much", and then he couldn't speak after that. As days turned to weeks, he just got worse and worse. We had the hope that he could wait until after Christmas, but there were no Christmas miracles this time. He passed away the day before Christmas eve, and I was heartbroken. My dad, my biggest supporter was now gone. Gone but never forgotten. I held his cold hand before the coroner and doctors shuffled him away from us and said through broken sobs and tear stained cheeks, "I'm going to make a medicine that cures ALS. I'm going to make it for you, daddy. I love you so much." I finished the rest of the year and we finalised the selling of our, now old, house and we made the flight to California. A few weeks in and we were finally settling and making this house our new home. I sat out on our enclosed balcony with a cup of tea and cozied up in my hammock chair. I listened to the birds chirping as I took a sip of my tea. My mum came out a few moments later with her own cup of tea and we both stared upon the city for what seemed like an eternity until I decided to break the silence, "Dad would've loved it here." "Yes he would've sweetheart. Yes he would."

Mum drove me in for the first day, mainly because she wanted to pick me up especially if I had a rough first day. We had our usual conversations and I went over my schedule out loud with her. "Honours Chemistry AND Honours Biology huh? Why didn't you get put in the AP sections of those?" Mum asked, noticeably a little insulted that I wasn't placed in the AP classes. "Relax mum, they don't allow sophomores taking AP classes, and this was the best I was getting with them. I could've gotten regular Bio and Chem." I reassured her. She reluctantly calmed down as she pulled up to a parking spot in front of the school. Mum kissed me on the cheek and said our 'I love you's' as I got out of the car and headed up to the front of the building. I tried to blend in and just seem normal. My first class was English so I immediately made my way to the classroom located in the second floor. I sat in the front row like I always had in my previous schools. The teacher went through attendance and stopped on me, "Y/N Y/L/N? Are you the new student?" The teacher asked. "Yes I am ma'am" I replied, all eyes on me. "I was wondering if you would be here today! Please come up in front of the class and introduce yourself! Say your name, where you moved from, and your favourite book." I made quickly got up and walked the short distance to be next to the teacher. "Well, I'm Y/N. I moved here from a small town in Ohio at the beginning of the summer, and my favourite book is The Theory of Everything by Famous theoretical physicist, cosmologist Stephen Hawking." I said to the class with a smile. "That's interesting Miss Y/L/N! And why is that your favourite book?" "I look up to Mr.Hawkings work and I want to be a Biochemist." "That's quite interesting. You may sit down now dear." She said with a smile as she started to clap, the rest of the class followed suit. I sat down and the girl next to me tapped my shoulder, "Nice to meet you. I'm Jessica. I think we could be great friends!" She said with a smile on her face. We talked after class and she said she would meet me after my Bio class to have lunch with me. I'm so relieved to have a friend, or someone I can consider a friend at least. It's still early to tell. Next up I had maths, and pretty much the same thing happened with going in front of the class and explaining who I was. I was pretty much creating and reading a script for the beginning of every class. After maths I had my Honours Biology class. I sat at the work bench like I normally did, as I watched all the students pour in they all looked so much older than I did. The class began at the ring of the bell and the same thing happened like all the other classes before me. I made my way up to the front of the classroom and smiled as I introduced myself, "I'm Y/N, I moved here from a small town in Ohio at the beginning of the summer and I'm a sophomore. An-" "A sophomore? I don't normally have sophomores in my class." The teacher interrupted me, and I just gave an "are you serious?" look and some of the class laughed. "Yes, the school wouldn't let me take AP Biology and AP Chemistry so I had to even fight to get honours." I replied. "AP Bio and AP Chem? What would you want with those courses? They're pretty difficult on their own, let alone together." I cleared my throat, "I want to be a Biochemist." "And where would your concentration lie?" "Degenerative diseases." "Wow that's incredible Miss Y/L/N! I look forward to seeing your work. You may sit down." I took my seat and a few of the "nerdy" kids started to chat me up and we all had a great conversation about what we wanted to do in the future. The bell rang and almost immediately Jessica was outside my classroom waiting for me. "Honours Biology? Girl, you've got to give me your study tips!" We walked to the lunchroom as she talked my ear off about the school and everything I would need to know. We sat down at a table and a boy joined us, him and Jess kissed and then a bunch of other guys started to swarm the table we were at. "Y/N this is Justin, my boyfriend! Justin this is-" "You're Y/N! We have maths together." Justin said as he stuck his hand out. Justin started to introduce me to all the boys at the table, all his teammates on the basketball team. "Y/N why did you move here all the way from uhm..." Jess started to ask. "Ohio." I replied with a chuckle. "Right! Why did you move here from Ohio?" All eyes were on me now and I smiled just thinking of the memory of my dad, "I moved here because my dads dream was to move out to California with my mum and I." "Oh that's so sweet! Why did he want to move out here?" She asked. The smile fell from my face and just the thought started to burn my eyes, "That's a bit of a touchy subject. Can we not talk about that?" "Oh my God of course! I'm sorry, I didn't know girly." She said as she shot me a reassuring smile and rubbed my knee. Eventually I went to the rest of my classes and met some really great people. I knew I had nothing to worry about, it seems like I'll fit in perfectly. The dismissal bell rang and I made my way to my locker. I got all my stuff I needed and closed my locker, Jess was standing right next to my locker with Justin. "Did you have a good first day?" She asked. "It was great, especially because of you. Thank you for like, accepting me and being nice. And thank you as well Justin." I said with a smile. "That's great! We definitely need to keep in touch, hand me your phone and I'll give you my number so we can hang out soon!" She said enthusiastically as she took my phone from me and punched her number in. Her and Justin walked off and waved and said their goodbyes and we parted ways. I made my way to mums car. I placed my backpack in the backseat and hopped into the front and we drove off. "So..?" Mum started. "It was great! I already made a bunch of friends and they're all so nice there!" "That's awesome honey! Celebratory dinner tonight? And you can tell me absolutely everything, you can even spill all the deets!" "Ew mum, don't ever say that again!" I said as I joking slapped at her arm. "What?! I have to stay hip somehow!" We both erupted into a fit of laughter. "Oh by the way, the piano got to the house and is all tuned." Mum said, almost full of sorrow. That night we went out to a fancy restaurant a few towns over and I told her everything about my day and how excited I was for school and making new friends.

A month has passed and I've settled in quite nicely in Crestmont. It was a Friday and Jess is sleeping over for the first time. We quickly became really close friends, I even would say she is my best friend. My mum picked us up from school and I showed her around my house. "This house is so beautiful Mrs.Y/L/N!" Jess said in awe. "I'm glad you like it, you're always welcome here sweetheart!" My mum replied with a smile. Jess picked up a picture of my mum, my dad, and I when I was about 11. She examined it. "Awe Y/N you look so adorable! Is this your dad?" She asked, pointing to the man in the photograph. "Yeah, but that's an older photo of him." "Do you have any more recent photos of him?" "Of course!" I said as I lead her to the living room where a lot of the newer photos of him were. She examined them quite closely, noticing his state of being deteriorating, she was confused. I brought her out on the balcony and she sat in the hammock chair right next to mine. "Where is your dad?" She asked and then looked like she wanted to take it back. I grabbed her hand and smiled, "No no, don't worry about it. It's okay to ask!" I replied with a warm smile, "He passed away right before last Christmas. He had ALS." "Y/N I'm so sorry for your loss." "Jess it's okay. He was a great guy and a great dad." "Is this why you didn't want to talk about it on the first day?" "Yeah, it's just a touchy subject especially since we planned to move out here with him." I told her the whole story, everything. I was comfortable enough around her to tell her. And she listened and took it all in. I reassured her I was as okay as I could be even though some days were better than others and she understood. We headed up the stairs toward my room when she spotted the baby grand piano at the top of our stairs. "Wow this is beautiful! Do you play?" She asked, awestruck by the beautiful Yamaha piano in front of her. "I guess. My dad was the one who played and he gave me lessons and so now when I want to feel closer to him I just play and play until I feel okay." "You're one tough cookie, could you play something for me?" I smiled and pulled out the bench and immediately started to play Op. 28: III. Vivace G Major by Chopin as it was a relatively fast lively piece. I lifted my hands from the piano and her jaw was on the ground. "Girly I didn't know this! You NEED to play in the orchestra! They would love you!" She exclaimed as she brought me in for a hug. The night was great and I finally felt normal again, I felt like a normal high schooler with a normal life. And man did it feel good to feel normal again.

Monday rolled around and Jess dragged me down to the music hall to talk with the orchestra teacher. I played the same piece I did for Jess and the teacher looked beyond impressed with my playing. "Some of the best piano playing I've seen from a student in years! I would love to have you in the orchestra Miss Y/L/N!" Jess and I walked out of the music hall and screamed and jumped and hugged. "I'm so excited for you! I'll go to all the practices and concerts I can!" Jess promised as she stuck her pinky out "And I will go to as many cheer practices and games as I can!" I replied and interlocked our pinkies as we made a pinky promise. And both of us kept our promises. As long as I didn't have to tutor someone or practice, I was in the stands supporting my best friend, even doing her hair for her. As long as she didn't have practice or homework, she was at orchestra rehearsal.

Mid-November rolled around and so did basketball and other winter sports, but that also meant mid terms were fast approaching. In biology, we were doing a partner project and our teacher chose our partner. The rest of the class groaned, but I had gotten 100's all year so I didn't see an issue with it. He read off the names in alphabetical order by last name. "Zach Dempsey and Y/N Y/L/N" My head turned to look at Zachs face to judge how he felt, and he had a smile so wide it stretched from ear to ear, which made me smile as well as blush. After partners were announced we all moved to sit next to our partners, I got up and sat next to him. "Well look who we have here, the smartest girl in this school paired up with me." He said with a slight chuckle. "I wouldn't say I'm that smart. More like, I'm just determined to do really well...all the time." I said with a chuckle. We started to plan our project and then suddenly the bell rang. I was about to get up when Zach gently grabbed my arm, "Can I have your number? So we can plan our project?" "Oh, of course. Why didn't I think of that?" I wrote my number down on the top of his project syllabus and waved goodbye as I headed to my locker. I had one more class before I met up with Jess to do her hair before her short practice so they can get ready for the game. I had a free period next so I headed down to the music hall so I could practice. I walked by the teachers office and he ushered me in to talk to me. "Y/N, how would you feel about doing 4 solos for the concert?" He asked, not looking up from the program he was trying to make. "I would love to!" "Great! I'll have you start off the very beginning of the concert with a short but fast piece, we'll have a few group pieces and other solos and then you end the first half with another short but fast piece. Does that sound good?" He asked, I nodded. "Then you can start the second half with a long and slow piece, sprinkle in a few group pieces and a few other solos, then you'll have you last piece which is pretty slow and long as well, and then finish off with our group closing piece? Sound good?" "That sounds great sir! Can I ask one thing though?" "Of course, what's on your mind?" "Could I dedicate the last piece I play to my dad and have a picture of him with me at the concert? It's okay if not, I just figured I should ask." "Of course you can. Don't be silly to ask for something like that. The counselor told me about what happened. I'm so sorry for your loss and I would be honoured to have you dedicate your last solo to your father." He reassured with a smile. I started to leave the room, "Thank you Mr.Blanc! I'll be in the auditorium in you need me." "Y/N, just make sure to get me your sheet music with the order you're performing them in as soon as possible." "You got it!" I nearly shouted as I opened the side door to the auditorium to turn on all the stage lights. I practically came down here every free period I had unless I was working on Zach and I's project. It was always so calm and quiet and made me feel like my dad was still there with me. I made my way over to stage left and pulled the piano out into the centre of the stage. I sat down and just started to play piano covers of popular songs before I started to try figure out what I was actually playing for the concert. I just wanted to calm down from my exams I had today. I decided to just wait and ask Jess which songs I should pick before the first game of the basketball season occurred tonight. I went from Fantasie Impromptu by Chopin to Flight of the Bumblebee before I noticed anyone else was in the auditorium with me. I heard a throat clear which made me jump, I looked up from the piano and it was Jess and Justin. "I didn't mean to scare ya." Jess said with a chuckle, "Justin and I were making out in the back and you couldn't see us but Justin really wanted to watch you play especially after that really fast one." Justin nodded his head in agreement. "Aww, I'm flattered!" I said with a smile. I went down my arsenal of some of the toughest songs to play on piano, Moonlight Sonata, Little Red Riding Hood, Etude Op. 10 No. 4, La Campanella, and ending with Hungarian Rhapsody. I looked at the two who tried to keep up with my hands, Jess had a smirk on her face when she saw Justin's jaw on the floor. "I told you she was good." Jess said, almost cockily. Her and I laughed and before Justin could even say a word, the dismissal bell rang. "I'll meet you in the locker room Jess, I have to put a few things away in my locker." I waved to Justin sense I wasn't going to see him until later in the afternoon. I put my stuff in the locker and shut the door and headed downstairs, I headed toward the locker rooms where Zach caught up to me. "Good luck at the game tonight!" I said with a wide smile. "Thank you! Are you going to be there?" He asked. "Of course! I promised Jess and Justin that I would always be at the games." His face lit up like a Christmas tree, "Awesome! I'll see you later then." He said as he rubbed my arm. I thought his action was strange but just chalked it up to him being friendly. California is different from Ohio after all. I entered the locker room and greeted all the other girls when I took my place next to Jess. We told each other about our days while she changed into her practice gear. I told her how I was given 4 solos for the concert and she was so excited, maybe more excited than I was. "Oh my God that's amazing! I'll invite everyone so that can see how amazing you are!" She jumped up and down as she hugged me. We chatted our way into the gym and I took my usual spot on the bleachers and watched the practice go on like usual. I finished up my homework for the night just as they had finished practicing for the game tonight. I headed out and stood by the lockers and waited for Jess. As soon as she came out she grabbed my arm and practically skipped the entire way to the auditorium. I took my seat on the piano and told her my ideas and played them in the order I would play them at the concert. She wasn't too keen on a few of my pieces so I switched them with similar pieces and those seemed to fit like a glove. "Those! All of them! They're perfect!" She said with a huge smile on her face. We headed to the library and I photocopied my pieces and labelled them and dropped them off at Mr.Blanc's office. We had some free time before she had to get ready for the game so we just walked around and chatted. "How's your bio project going?" Jess asked as we walked around the football field. "Great! Zach and I are pretty close to being done." I replied as we passed the bleachers. "Basketball Zach? Like, Zach Dempsey?" "Yeah...why?" "Oh, nothing. I just didn't expect you to pick him as a partner." "Mr. LaPierre paired us, but he looked fine with it so I didn't mind." Jess was silent for what felt like a few minutes. "Jess, is everything alright?" "Yeah, I was just thinking about the other day when Zach was talking to Justin about a girl in his biology class he was crushing on." "Awe that's cute! She's lucky, he's a smart kid." "She's probably jealous of you Y/N. I just don't want you to get hurt. Because if she hurts you, many people will hurt her." Jess winked as she nudged me. "I have a perfect grade in the class, it seemed like everyone wanted to be my partner." I winked back. "Okay smarty pants, let's get back so I can get ready and you can help me with my hair." We both giggled and walked back into the school. I grabbed a seat on the bleachers right behind where Jess normally sits. The cheerleaders started to file in along with the basketball players. I was too busy looking for her hair ties and brush in my bag to notice her and a few of the basketball players walk in. I found her brush just as she sat down in front of me. I brushed through her silky hair and parted it down the middle.I looked up to a pair of soft brown eyes staring at me, they belonged to Zach. I shot him a smile and a wave before I returned to Jess' hair. I braided her hair into two tight Dutch braids. I secured the last one and put her brush back in my bag. The bleachers were filling up pretty fast when I was done. The players were back in the locker room so they could make their entrance in front of the whole student body. The cheerleaders were just about to head onto the court when Jess turned to me and waved to my mum who appeared suddenly next to me. "Hi Mrs.Y/L/N! Glad you could come!" Jess said as she hugged my mum. "Of course sweetie! I couldn't miss out on cheering on Y/N's best friend!" My mum replied with a smile. "Knock 'em dead Tiger!" I said as I hugged her before she made her way onto the court to welcome our team onto the court. Each player erupted one by one, and suddenly Zach emerged and he searched the stands and then his eyes landed on me and he waved and smiled in my direction. I smiled and blushed back. My mum tapped my leg and I moved my ear closer to her where she whispered, "Is that him? The boy in your biology class?" I nodded to her question and blushed deeper. The game started and Zach and I would steal glances at each other every now and again, nothing to major...or so I thought.

It was now the week before the Winter Concert, but Zach and I needed to finish up the prep for our project. We were in the library alone after school working on the final prep we needed before we could call the project 'finished'. A few hours had passed and we finished up the last component, but we finished earlier than expected so we started to finalise the project. We were finally done, and we were early. That's not a bad thing though, nothing wrong with finishing early. I was putting my stuff away when Zach cleared his throat, I zipped my bag and looked at him. "What do you want to be when you graduate?" He asked. I smiled, "I want to be a biochemist." "Why?" "Do you want the real answer or the short one I use to not have serious questions?" "The real one." I took a deep breath and then exhaled, "Because of my dad." "Why don't you talk about him? You avoided it when we first met." "It's just a touchy subject, that's all." "Can we talk about it? I want to get to know you more." I was shocked at his response, but it's fair since we've worked a lot together this year. "He passed away almost a year ago. Right before Christmas, to be exact." "I-I'm so sorry Y/N." I took his hand in mine, "It's okay, we expected it. He had ALS. He was diagnosed when I just turned 10 and he's the reason I'm here. He wanted to move to California before he passed." "We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. I would understand." He said as he gently swiped his thumb back and forth against the back of my hand. "Honestly, it's okay. I'm not ashamed, he was and still is my hero. He was deteriorating slowly so we thought we had time. We bought the house and just had to wait on our other house to sell so we could move. But about Septemberish of last year he went downhill quite fast. So, plans got pushed back as he got treatment. He was always so strong, as supported me even when he didn't want to admit that he couldn't really support himself. Some of the last words he said were "If Stephen Hawking can do it, so can I." which is also why I lookup to Dr.Hawking so much. I want to be a biochemist because of him, for him. I want to find the cure to ALS." Zach was staring in awe. I stood up and he stood up and pulled me into a bear hug. A hug of solidarity, a hug of understanding. We both pulled away and looked into each others eyes and smiled. He looked away and grabbed his things. "I'll drive you home." He said as he motioned for me to follow him. "Oh, you don't have to." "I know, but I want to." We made it to his car and he pulled out of the parking lot and opened up to me. "I want to be a marine biologist." He said. We talked about his aspirations and life on the way to my house. He parked outside and I hugged him. "Thank you. It's great seeing others be themselves too." I said as I pulled away. His arm moved behind me and rubbed my back and he started to lean in and so I leaned in as well but we were interrupted by my mum yelling my name. We both laughed and I got out of the car and waved goodbye and headed into my house. I watched as he drove away.

The day of the concert arrived, and the whole school day was just a blur. The dismissal bell and I headed to my locker where I was greeted by Jess. "What's the plan for today?" She asked with a huge smile. "Well, the group pieces are going to get a run through, then the solos, and then we get to get ready." I replied grabbing my music bag out of my locker and we headed to the auditorium which was pretty much already set up for the concert tonight. Jess sat front row. The group numbers were rehearsed, then solos, and then I had to get ready. Jess and I headed to the locker room. I changed into a long sleeved black maxi dress with my mums pearl necklace. I put my hair half-up half-down and Jess straightened my hair and chatted me up. "There's going to be a big surprise for you at the concert. All because of moi" She said as she smiled. "Should I thank you now or later?" I asked. "Def later." She said as she scrunched her nose and raspberried me. We laughed and chatted until she finished my hair and I finished my light makeup. I put my stuff away in my bag and we both walked over to the auditorium. People we already shuffling into the auditorium. I took out the framed picture of my dad before I let Jess go off and I get ready backstage. "He would be so proud of you." "You think so?" "I KNOW so. Break a leg out there." Jess said as she hugged me and we went out separate ways.

*THIRD PERSON* Jess waited until she saw Mrs. Y/L/N. She rushed over and hugged her. "I have a plan." Jess began to tell Mrs. Y/L/N her whole plan. Jess bought a bunch of flowers so everyone could give her something in support. She explained how she got all of the cheerleaders and basketball to come and support her. Mrs. Y/L/N was almost brought to tears, not truly grasping how quickly and wholeheartedly her daughter was loved at this school. Jess and Y/N's mother sat in the front row by the piano on stage left. Jess looked back every now and again to check to see if her plan would be followed through. And just like that, the cheerleaders and basketball players shuffled in and sat in the first three rows by the piano. Zach sat next to Jess. "Mrs. Y/L/N, this is Zach." Y/N's mum reached out her hand, "Are you her biology partner? She always talks about you. She really likes you, ya know?" Jess chuckled and placed the palm of her hand over her mouth while Zach blushed, the whole team started to be all "Bro we told you she liked you back. You have nothing to worry about." In between laughs Jess responded, "I don't think she wanted you to tell him that Mrs. Y/L/N." "Oop, you're probably right sweetie. I'm sorry to embarrass you Zach. I got really excited when she told me she likes you." "No no, it's okay Mrs. Y/L/N. I'm flattered because I really like here too." A few more minutes passed and it was time for the concert to start. *END THIRD PERSON*

The concert was about to start and I just held the picture of my dad closer. My teacher and conductor was doing his introductory statement before we all came out of the wing of stage right and into our places. I walked across the stage and spotted...all of them. Mum, Jess, Zach, everyone I grew closer with this past semester. A smile drew across my face as I saw my mum first, almost in tears already, and then to Jess, and then to Zach who shot me a wink and my heart could've fluttered out of my chest. I placed the photo of my dad on the piano at an angle so both me and the audience could see it. I heard my mum gasp and then cry a little at the picture, which made me tear up a little. We did the classic orchestral warm up before I spoke into the microphone right in front of the piano. "My first solo piece is Op. 28: XII. Presto in G Sharp Major composed by Frederic Chopin." I took my place at the piano and played the one minute long piece. I took my hands off the piano and bowed in my seat. We had a few classical group pieces followed by a few solos and then a few pop songs arranged for the orchestra like Without You and Fight Song/Amazing Grace and Tour De France. I was the last solo for the first part of the concert, I once again stepped in front of the microphone to announce my solo, "My second solo piece is Op. 28: XVI. Presto con fuoco in B flat minor also composed by Frederic Chopin." I took my place at the piano for a second time and played the other one minute long piece. I took my hands off the piano and we all stood up and bowed and walked off as it was announced that there was a 15 minute break. I took the opportunity to use the bathroom and relax a little. My fellow peers were complimenting me left and right and I did the same back. The 15 minutes were almost up and we took our seats once again. Once I got my cue, I went up to the microphone and announced my third piece, "My third solo piece is Op. 28: IV. Largo in E minor also composed by Frederic Chopin." I once again took my place at the piano and played the two minute long sorrowful piece. I played with much more emotion than I did in the first half of the concert. I took my hands off the piano and bowed in my seat. More group pieces and solos and finally it was my last solo and my longest. I walked up and grabbed the picture of my dad, "Before I announce my final solo piece, I want to take the time and dedicate this to my dad. I lost my dad almost a year ago to ALS or Lou Gherig's as most of you may know it as. He was a wonderful pianist and he's the one who taught me how to play. Not a day goes without me thinking about him or playing a song to remember him. I came rushing into his hospital room one day just ecstatic and I told him, "I want to be a biochemist when I grow up. I want to help people like you." And the day he passed away, I held his hand and promised I would be the one to discover the cure for ALS. And I intend on keeping that promise. My final solo piece was his favourite to play for my mum and I, Op. 28: XV. Sostenuto in D flat major." I placed his picture back on the piano, but fully facing me this time. I wiped the few tears I had running down my cheeks already from before as I looked over and saw her sobbing into Jess who also tearing up along with Zach and everyone else. I looked up at my teacher and peers who were all wiping tears away. He motioned for them to stand and the audience soon followed. I played with more emotion and drive than I knew I even had. I played the piece with passion. I made it about 2 minutes in before the tears started to roll down my face as I played with pure love and passion. I hit the last chord lighter than I thought was even possible. I sat for a few seconds to just absorb the moment. I stood up to bow and noticed I had a standing ovation. I shed a few tears before we all sat down and played our final piece. The concert was over and we all bowed and hugged each other. I grabbed my dads picture and whispered, "I did it daddy, for you." before I went to get my bags and head to my mum, I left the music hall and found Jess who ran to me with flowers. "I knew you were going to be amazing!" She lead me to the people I have grown close to and they all had flowers for me. "Here's your surprise! I told you they all had to hear how amazing you are!" They all were giving me a flower or two and telling me how amazing I was, but then there was my mum who still had tears streaming down her face. We hugged in silence for what seemed like an eternity. Jess took my bags off me and grabbed the flowers so I could hug my mum even closer. We let go and all that was left was Zach who held a huge bouquet in his arms. He gave them to me and I thanked him. He was in awe. I let out a giggle as I gave Jess the bouquet and wrapped my arms around his neck and his hands went around my waist. "Wow, that was just- wow." He barely even got that out of his mouth, he started to lean down but I told him to hold on. I looked over at my mum, "Mum are you going to interrupt this kiss?" "No, not this time sweetheart." I looked toward Zach who had a huge smile on his face, I returned the smile, "Alright, it's go big or go home." Zach, almost like he had rehearsed this very moment, held me tighter and dipped me and kissed me. Our lips crashed and the world felt still, it was just us in that moment. Just us, in love.

[lifeofroos]

Part 50: Nico is a good kid guys. 

In short: Nico gets therapy from Dionysus. In this chapter, they have a chat about Christmas. The rest can be found on AO3 and FanFiction.net! And also in tumblr tags like Nico di Angelo, Dionysus, therapy etc.

This Might Be Crazy: Chapter 50: Spiced Apple Juice

‘Hey.’

Dionysus looked up from the report he had been reading. ‘I didn’t even hear you coming.’

‘You weren’t supposed to.’

‘Not?’ He snapped his fingers and a second chair appeared. ‘You are lucky. I’ve got some time.’ He’d never not have time, but still. ‘Yet, I mean only some. I have other obligations tomorrow.’

‘Tomorrow is Christmas!’

‘Your point?’

 I sat down. ‘I mean, It’s your birthday, I guess.’

He raised his eyebrows. ‘Oh, so you figured that out already. Yes, it is, and the same goes for Odin.’ He sighed. ‘You know Jesus is born on the 25th of december as well. Hence Christmas. Every year, the birthday boy collects both me and Odin, so that we can take a hike, imagine, the same hike every single year for over two-thousand years now, that takes five hours. And we start at five in the morning, so once we are done, it is only just ten A.M.’ He looked like the embodiment of tiredness after he said it. 

‘Ah-ha. That sounds really annoying.’

‘It depends. Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn’t.’ He pushed the report aside. ‘Anyway, what are you here for? Anxious about Christmas?’

‘I mean, maybe a little, but that wasn’t my main point. I will be going to Wills’ house again to celebrate this year. Wills’ mother is a nice lady and aunt Natalia won’t be invited this year. I believe Naomi Solace has gone no-contact with her, even.’

‘Good to hear. Yet, what is the matter then?’ 

I got the little paper bag with the brooch out of my pocket. ‘Since it is your birthday, and Christmas, and perhaps the Saturnalia too? I don’t know, anyway, I got you this.’ I pushed the paper bag towards him. 

Suddenly very interested, he picked it up. He unpacked the brooch and held it against the light. ‘It’s… really beautiful, actually.’

I shrugged. ‘Yeah.’

‘No, as in, really, really beautiful.’ 

I stared at the table. ‘What did you expect? Me to have a bad taste?’ 

He gave me a sideways look. ‘Ah, he’s still in there.’ 

I expected him to say I was on thin ice next, but he didn’t. Not this time. Probably in the conscience that I knew I wouldn’t be so lucky next time. 

He put the brooch on his shirt. I nodded. ‘Good.’ 

‘I hope you didn’t curse it.’

‘Who knows.’

‘You never do, I suppose.’ 

I turned my chair around and stared at camp for some time. ‘I am looking forward to Christmas tomorrow,’ I said. ‘I really do.’

‘Yet?’ He gave me a sly smile. A glass of Apple juice appeared. I gratefully picked it up. 

‘Last year, it was fun, but it was all eclipsed by aunt Natalia’s behaviour.’ I shrugged. ‘She won’t be there, but I hope there won’t be someone else ruining it one way or another. I am afraid something will go wrong.’ I narrowed my eyes. ‘Wow, that sounds familiar. It can’t be the first time I said that.’

‘I can quite certainly say it is not.’ 

I sighed. ‘At least I know why I am so nervous now. Last year, I was constantly taunted by aunt Natalia. I thought it did not bother me much, but the nasty aftertaste is still there.’ I raised my eyebrows. ‘I least I clearly now whats’ wrong.’

‘You seem to understand why you are worried really well. This might be a more easy cause to figure it out for, but can you analyse the way you thought of it?’

‘I was angry and sad. I tried to figure out why that was and this was what clearly came to mind. So, seeing as how it is clearly at the front of my mind, there was no denying that that was probably it.’ I took a sip of my juice. 

‘Yes, very good. So, you identified how you felt and then you thought of why you felt like that.’

I slowly nodded. 

‘Do you think a thought pattern like that is something you can also try next time you feel anxious?’

‘Eh, well, maybe.’

‘Sounds stupid, I know…’

‘Not really. Not stupider than some other things you told me.’

‘Touché.’

‘I’ll try it.’

‘Trying is okay. And about the anxieties you are having right now: Are you still going tomorrow?’

‘Of course! Will and I are leaving tonight, actually, maybe I should have mentioned that.’

‘You’ll see how it goes. My prediction is that it will be quite fun, but something small will go wrong. That is how most family parties go.’ He groaned. ‘Except on Olympus. There they start with one tiny argument and end up with ten full-blown fights. That is part of the reason why I am partly happy I get to hang out with Jesus and Odin on my birthday, or Christmas or whatever. At least they don’t fight about everything, from eon old feuds to how the sauce is all wrong.’

‘He. Nice.’ My eyes fell on the report, which had almost dropped onto the floor. ‘It wasn’t exactly my plan to talk for this long.’

Dionysus pulled his papers closer. ‘It is alright. I hope you can go to your family party in peace, now.’ He looked at the brooch and began to smile. ‘And thanks for this. Thanks a lot.’

I smiled back. ‘Yes, you’re very welcome.’ I stood up and drank up the rest of the spicy apple juice. ‘I’ll see you after Christmas, or your birthday, or the Saturnalia, or whatever else, then.’

He nodded. ‘See you then.’

‘Happy birthday.’

‘Bye now.’ He turned back to his report, while I stepped down the porch and went to the Apollo cabin. I had important things to pack up.

A/N: Not me looking through my own chapters trying to figure out what aunt Natalia was called again. 

Saying it once again: It is NOT academically proven that Dionysus (AND ABSOLUTELY NOT ODIN, *I* MADE THAT UP) have their birthday on the 25th. I just think this is funny. Don’t take this as proof or as a ‘serious’ academic theory of anything. Please don’t.

Also, little sad, little happy: I have planned and written out the entirety of the story. Don’t worry: It will run to at least chapter 71. I say ‘at least,’ because if there is anything you really really want to see/anything that Nico should experience/talk about, tell me right now! You can do that via comment or drop me an ask on Tumblr (@lifeofroos). 

[gogysastrologer]

i found this old rant of mine back in early october. this was before i was even lurking on lktwt i think. i remember one night on tumblr there was a blog talking about dnf but like, more deeply and realistically unlike others that i’ve seen, and i decided to pop in their inbox and talk about it (on anon of course), in a really long rant. the person replied, and said i should post it on my own account. i think they deleted the post because i cant find it now. but.. i guess i copied and pasted it on my notes app, and now after two months i read it back again. i think it honestly still holds true to what i think now. i want to share that rant with you guys! the rant will be under the cut, if you want to read it! :)

RANT FROM EARLY OCTOBER:

“If we look at this from a really realistic stance. You are possibly right! Maybe George doesn't feel uncomfortable with this... for now. This is just my personal theory. And I think it's an interesting one. I feel like, once (IF) he gets into some serious relationship, with someone other than Dream, he will wanna stop or at least SLOW DOWN the DNF hype. But could be possibly afraid to because of how big DNF has gotten. He's 24 going into 25 just next month! We can't just sit here and pretend that there isn't a possibility of him being in some committed relationship in the future.

I am a person who thinks about the future quite a bit. It wouldn't surprise me, if right now George possibly thinks, "Oh no, this is nothing/this won't effect me mentally in the future!" But then it starts to. I mean, we've seen ships going too far, so many times. There are literally so many examples of how over excessive shipping, can really hurt a person in the long run.

I say all of this, with massive care for George. He keeps a lot to himself, and I respect him out of everyone in the DSMP the most on how he handles his fame and controversies the most. But it wouldn't surprise me as well, if there is a small part of him, that doesn't really like the over excessiveness, even now. I mean, DNF interactions, compared to really early ones (2020 specifically) have changed so much in my opinion. It seems that Dream or his friends are the ones that start off the DNF moment now, with George following along sometimes. And even then the recent DNF moments are quite small compared to how they once were. They seemed more, in your face, about it, back then? And George seemed to play along with it way more then now? Maybe it's just me, I mean I haven't watched like every stream with them, so I could be wrong there.

I think this conversation is really interesting, and the more I think about it, the more kind of eye opening it is. I've always been real interested in George as a person honestly. Studying how he reacts to things, some patterns I've seen when someone mentions DNF (Like I SWEAR TO GOD I remember on a CS:GO stream in July with Sapnap, someone donated to him with "DNF" in their user and he very clearly purposely didn't read the name that time, but he read every other ones? Then again, that could've been him trying to prevent DNF spam in his chat...) It just seems he tries to downplay it now compared to before, at least on camera. 

I'm sure he probably goes ham with DNF behind the scenes, or just his friends in general ("You can suck on my chicken bone" ring a bell?). But I wonder... is it because it's gotten too much for him a bit now? With the audience? Thing is we can never really know, given how much secretive this man is. But I think it's at least an interesting thing to think about. Y'know? And I know this had a lack of Dream mention, but that's because I genuinely don't sense that Dream minds DNF at all, we all know he panders to DNF like no tomorrow. Plus Dream seems more open about his feelings rather than George and that's why I'm focusing on him in here. 

I sense George is a type of person where even if he had an issue with something (regarding friends, or people he's close with) he wouldn't speak up about it, and try to disregard it. To keep the peace, y'know? I know this is kinda deep but I sense it. AND ONCE AGAIN I COULD BE WRONG HERE COMPLETELY WRONG IN FACT! TAKE OF THIS ALL WITH SUCH BIG LAYERS OF SALT! I DONT KNOW GEORGE NOR AM I CLAIMING TO KNOW HIM THIS IS JUST WHAT I'VE SENSED FROM STUDYING HIM! He's just so interesting to me. 

OK rant over. I am so sorry this is so fucking long, but I hope you can sense where I am coming from! Excited to hear from you soon! - anon”

[baegarrick]

idk if you've read/seen the book/movie but just... love, simon zukka au ?? sokka as simon and zuko as bram because blue spirit ( though if we r going for it personality-wise maybe switch their roles? idk ! ) — also in this one the friends are exponentially better

ok im so sorry I haven’t actually seen love, simon or read the book but.... I HAVE ACCESS TO WIKIPEDIA SO LETS GO

ok so I was considering Zuko as Simon bc of the musical thing/the loving parent (Iroh), the girl he sees Sokka (Bram) kiss is Suki.... but also bc I just love writing Zuko (maybe I’ll parse that out at the end)

BUT lets go with Sokka as Simon bc I also love writing the Gaang

Sokka is Simon

Katara is both Nora and Abby

Jet is Martin

Aang is Nick (but slightly also Abby)

Zuko is blue/Bram

Suki is Leah (but slightly also Nick)

Toph is Ethan (sorta)

Haru is Lyle

Ok so, obv this follows the plot of the movie/book. Sokka is a gay + closeted junior, not that his dad isn’t loving, but he’s in the military, and occasionally makes homophobic jokes, and Sokka feels like he has to be tough for him, esp. since his mom died. But he really likes making people laugh and so he joins the school musical, which is a comedy this year.

His best friend is Suki, who he’s known since he was a kid, but he’s kinda been withdrawing from her since he got to high school. He loves her, he really does, but everyone always thinks they’re dating, and it kinda makes him uncomfortable. He tried to like her, when they were younger, but he just... isn’t into girls. His friend group is Suki, Katara (his sister, and it was the two of them against the world since their mom died, but he’s pulled away from her too), Aang (a transfer freshman from out of state), and Toph (who spent up till 8th grade at a private school).

Also in the musical is Zuko, a hot senior who’s like.... super lofty. He gets really into theater, but he rarely interacts with people outside his friend group, like he’s better than them or something. (Mai and Ty Lee are also there, they’re Zuko’s friends.) Not in the musical, but in one of the other clubs Sokka is in, is Jet. He got kicked off the football team for being too rough with the other team last year, so he mostly just hangs out behind the bleachers smoking.

Sokka’s on the school’s tumblr one day (shut up, Katara, I don’t have a tumblr!!) when he sees someone posted an anonymous confession saying they’re gay but they really don’t have anyone they can talk to because of their family situation. Sokka gets their email (BlueSpirit) and start emailing (BoomerangDude) them for a couple of months. He learns that Blue’s family has really high expectations of him, and since he’s only a year away from college he can’t mess them up because if he does he’ll be cut off, and he can’t afford college if that happens. He’s got a sadistic little sister (who isn’t actually terrible, she’s just got her own shit going on, and if shoving Zuko in the warpath of their father takes the spotlight off of her, all the better) who would absolutely out him if she knew, a girl he’s pretty sure wants to date him (Mai), and an after-school job (the tea shop) thats cutting into his extra-curricular activities.

This is.... really similar to Sokka, actually, and he likes making Blue laugh (they switch to chatting online sometimes, like discord or some chat app), and Blue has a lot of insights on things Sokka likes (some of the same music,

Meanwhile, Sokka ends up going to this tea shop he heard about from Blue (it had been a slip, Zuko had NOT meant to say too many personal details, but he’d mentioned getting some kind of boba drink) and studying there with his friends. While he’s there, he’s surprised to see Zuko, who he’s never spoken to outside of the musical they’re working on!! (At some point, Zuko checks his phone and laughs, and Sokka’s like, oh no, I’m crushing on.... TWO DUDES???? BAD SOKKA). He starts to wonder if maybe.... Zuko is Blue?? it generally sorta fits, he knows Zuko is also a senior, and the tea shop Blue mentioned.... (to be fair, though, they see like three other kids from school there, so it’s not really a niche place)

Before Sokka can test out this theory, though, there’s a Halloween party which Sokka goes to with his friends. (They go as the Power Rangers.) He sees Zuko there (he’s in some some Kabuki costume), but with him is.... Mai from the play. They’re making out, and Sokka feels his stomach drop-- he’s not gay and Sokka’s crushing on a straight guy. He gets drunk. He throws up in the bushes outside, and Katara finds him, chews him out, and then sneaks him back home.

He emails Blue again, drunk, and says some stupid stuff like he wishes things were easier, and that he thought he knew who Blue was, but he didn’t. (Blue doesn’t reply.)

He’s checking his email on a school computer in the library when the bell rings, and he doesn’t log out properly, and Jet, who is skipping class, finds Sokka’s emails. He confronts Sokka about them, and says he won’t reveal Sokka’s secret... if Sokka helps Jet get with Sokka’s hot sister. Sokka hates the idea, but also, the idea of being outed is really terrifying. So he says yes, and tries to talk up Jet to Katara, who’s a little surprised bc while she thinks Jet is hot, Sokka was super against Jet whenever she mentioned it. Katara is involved in school politics, and convinces Jet to pretend to be interested to spend time with her. (he ends up running against her...)

Around Thanksgiving, with all their extended family there, ribbing him about getting a girlfriend (asking about Suki), Sokka leaves and goes to sit on the roof. Katara finds him there, and demands he spill whats up and why he’s acting so weird, especially about Suki. (she looks freaked out for a moment, and is like.... oh my god, sokka, is suki pregnant?????? sokka blanches at that) He admits he’s gay, and she hugs him, and they stay out there until their dad sticks his head out the window and calls them inside.

Feeling guilty about Jet, Sokka admits to Blue their emails might have been compromised. Blue starts to back away, taking longer and longer to answer emails.

At a football game, Sokka runs into Haru, who starts asking him stuff, and Sokka wonders if he’s Blue, but it turns out Haru is interested in Katara. Upset, again, that he doesn’t know who Blue is, he encourages Jet to “go big or go home”-- and so Jet asks Katara out by bribing the kid who does the scoreboard to switch out his campaign ad for asking Katara out. Katara is shocked, as she thought Jet was really interested in her campaign. She slaps him.

Mad that Katara wasn’t interested after all, and from the slap, Jet outs Sokka anyway, posting the emails on the school’s gossip site. Katara, who was mad at Sokka, instantly forgives him and is on a WARPATH against Jet, but Sokka just wants it left alone. Suki shows up a few hours later, and finds him on the roof. She admits that she had a crush on him, which was why she never said anything when people asked if they were a couple, but she knew Sokka wasn’t interested in her, so she never pushed it. She’s sorry she made it difficult for him to come out to her.

Blue is upset their emails have leaked, and deletes his account.

He comes out to his dad later, in the car, on the way to school on the last couple of days before winter break. His dad takes it well, and apologizes for all of the jokes he used to make-- it doesn’t make it right, but it was the kind of things he and the other soldiers used to say to each other. He ends up taking them to this tea shop he heard about (it’s Zuko’s/Iroh’s shop), and while there, he comes out to the owner of the shop, Iroh, as sort of..... practice. It’s liberating and also terrifying. Iroh is super cool about it, and tells them about his own son, who passed away a few years ago in an accident, was gay. It’s way later than Sokka thought, and when he looks up from the conversation with Iroh, Zuko’s standing in the doorway. not wanting to deal with people from school, Sokka leaves the tea shop without waiting for his dad to follow him.

The next couple of days at school are rough. His friends stick by his side, but Jet’s friends are obnoxious and loud, and Katara punches one of them. She goes to the school, but they’re eternally unhelpful bc.... what can tey do... its not a school website..... Later, Toph tells Sokka she’s a lesbian, and it’s not that she’s hiding it, but... it’s already tough enough when people treat her like she’s glass because she’s blind. They all go home for winter break, and when they come back, Sokka is refreshed and determined not to be put down by a couple of assholes.

He’s wildly surprised when Blue posts on the school’s tumblr that he wants to meet Sokka at the school’s carnival. This draws a crowd, which makes Sokka worried he’s gonna be pranked, but when he sits down on the Ferris wheel, he’s surprised that Zuko from the tea shop/musical sits down next to him.

Zuko says he’s sorry for ignoring Sokka’s emails, and he’s sorry that Sokka got outed to the school, and it wasn’t his fault that Sokka was blackmailed, and he should have reacted better to it. Sokka apologizes too, because Zuko shouldn’t have to be outed either, which... is why they’re here? Zuko blushes, and says he came out to his uncle, who’s letting him stay with him, since he’s tired of going home to his shitty dad, and that he might go live with his mom while he’s in college. He admits the Mai thing at the party was a drunken misunderstanding, and that he likes Sokka. He thinks he’s funny, and they like the same things (theater, music, strange taste in food...), and he’s hoping after this... Sokka might like him too? (they kiss on the Ferris wheel, and Katara takes like, 30 pictures.)

....

alternatively////

Zuko as Simon au-- bc I just wanted to write it out. he lives with his uncle, who’s the loving parent here, not Ozai!! (or his Mom/stepdad but I kinda forgot they existed for like 5 minutes)

Zuko is Simon

Katara is Abby (she’s his lab partner, and they have the same temperment)

Azula is Nora, but she doesn’t really play a big role (she’s an asshole, but also she’s 14 and is Going Through Things. she’s also in the closet and in love with Mai, but she doesn’t know it yet. it takes her a couple of years to figure that out.)

Mai is Leah

Aang is Martin (but less of an asshole. just the embarrassing + frustrated bits.)

Sokka is blue/Bram

Suki is the girl at the party Sokka kisses

Ty Lee is Ethan

---

I HOPE THIS WAS OK, like I said I haven’t actually seen the thing, but now I actually know what the plot is about!! <3333

[warped-stem]

Oh, a little explanation about the post--matpat released a game theory video yesterday about Evil X and Hermitcraft, but it was pretty much entirely stolen from a person on tumblr called micer2012. a few hermits interacted with the video, or mentioned it on twitter, and people told them it was a plagiarized theory. obviously they didn't know that, people weren't angry at them iirc, it just needed to be said so people knew the proper credit for the theory. people also posted it on reddit and matpat responded, saying it wasn't him but another writer. he says he's investigating it and talking with his team

I guess people are continuing to bring up the theory in hermits' chats/livestreams and to them on twitter, asking their opinions etc, when when really shouldn't be because the hermits had nothing to do with it. they don't need to be involved in the discourse, they didn't write the theory or help on the video and had nothing to do with it. that's my understanding

-quara

Jesus, thank you!!! Thats super fuckin messy. Wasn't his theory on Wilbur's ARG basically someone else's too??

[recurring-polynya]

I hope I haven’t been sending to many of these. Also I hope this is under 500 words :

No, I don’t mind at all, this is fun!

don't tell me that we've grown (for having loved a little while)

This fic came out of rather open-ended request for an IkkaYumi love confession story. Writing requests is a different sort of animal than writing something that just pops into your head, you have to come up with something.

Probably the most emotional I ever got over IkkaYumi was one time, here on Tumblr dot com, we were talking about Ikkaku’s younger sister Shino, and how he wouldn’t let her join the Eleventh and made her go to the Academy instead. Anyway, I’m just gonna quote what I said at the time

[...] literally just yesterday I was thinking about whether Ikkaku and Yumichika had gone to the Academy and I decided they didn’t. I’m sure Ikkaku would have done very poorly, but when you think about Yumichika and the level to which he utterly phones it in, I mean… what if he actually knew what he was doing? Surely this guy could do kidou, if he ever bothered to learn. Imagine it paired with his ridiculously overpowered shikai, sucking power out of people and then smashing someone else with some level 80 hadou. He’s only Fifth Seat because he “doesn’t like the character for 4″, this dude could definitely be a captain if he gave even a quarter of a shit.  

Do not mistake me, I absolutely respect Yumichika’s position on this. Nothing good happens to you when you are a shinigami captain. He completely runs Squad 11 from behind the scenes, does whatever he wants, and is unspeakably beautiful. Who wants to wear a tacky old haori anyway?

I wonder if Ikkaku feels a teensy bit bad about this, if it feeds into his decision to make Shino go to school, even a little. Imagine Shino coming over for dinner, all excited about some new shunpo theory thing she learned, and Yumichika is chatting with her about it like a smart person, and later, Ikkaku is like “I’m sorry you gave up the chance at an education to be with me” and Yumichika is like “darling, please, you know I hate work.”

Someone pointed out to me shortly thereafter that Yumichika does cast some high level kidou during the TYBWA, which is very interesting to me, and I’m curious if he and Ikkaku made some life changes after the Pillar Incident.

Anyway, a thing I really like about Bleach is that the characters have a lot of different drives and ambitions, not everyone wants to be the most powerful person in Soul Society. Yumichika likes to espouse the values of Squad 11, but I think it’s pretty clear that he is really just there for Ikkaku and I wanted to explore that a little. I am also really interested in how Squad 11 manages to function, even a little bit, given that it is populated entirely by idiots + Yumichika.

The whole time I was writing the fic, I was salty because Renji wasn’t there and I wanted Renji to be there, but he was busy not being born yet, so I threw Iba and Matsumoto in instead. I write best when I have characters to bounce off each other. Kenpachi’s there, too, but he’s not as bouncy as Matsumoto (badum-chss). Seriously, tho, Zaraki is one of the harder characters for me to write because he defies banter which is, like, 90% of my writing.

This is very subtle and I have no idea if anyone caught this, but I very purposefully set this fic after Turn Back the Pendulum but there’s a mention of Byakuya being a hotheaded youngster over at Squad 13 (I don’t know where it came from, but I subscribe to a fanon idea I’ve seen in a few ByaHisa fics that B put in a few years under Ukitake before his dad died and he got named lieutenant of the Sixth). Byakuya and Gin became captains around the same time, which means that Iba’s mom is Acting Captain of Squad 3. “That Fourth Seat was too much to resist” WHATEVER, IBA, YOU’RE JUST TIRED OF WORKING FOR MOMMY.

[angelicspaceprince]

Youtuber!Beetlejuice Headcanons

Ok so Youtuber/Gamer!Beetlejuice has hit my tumblr with a force, so I’m going to write my own set for you here. Also, your channel has a mishmash of subject ideas because I’m trying to cater to everyone. It looks super unrealistic but hey its fantasy bby!

This also didn’t end the way I wanted it to and it stops kinda abruptly, its half past 5 in the morning. I need a nap.

His channel is a MESS

There is no consistency, except for the fact that he posts every day

But every day, no one knows what they’re gonna get

And he does everything

Beej may promise that its going to be a conspiracy theory video, but then he posts a video of him eating tide pods straight from the bag with a shit eating grin on his face with the caption ‘DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME – I’M A DEAD GUY THESE WON’T HURT ME’ plastered all over the screen because he genuinely cares for his viewers

Lydia helps him with editing, Adam and Barbra help set up his recording space which is just a large corner in the attic, Delia helps him plan ideas and Charles just leaves him to it

If he ever posts an ASMR video, do not open it

It’s just a video of him screaming into the microphone and making loud noises with him cackling after each one

Cooking videos usually end with him just straight up eating stuff no one should eat

Gaming videos go between him playing horror and laughing his ass off at how bad they are to him playing Animal Crossings and just being so happy that these people are kind to him and want to spend time with him

Live streams a LOT

It annoys his mods a little bit because he doesn’t have a schedule, and he only gives them a 30 second warning so if they see it, they have to quickly jump on over to mod the comment section

People just love the chaotic energy he radiates and if you mention a video idea, he will most definitely do it by the end of the month because he just wants to try  e v e r y t h i n g

Lydia helps create merch for him so he can sell stuff. Most of the money goes to Lydia or the others in the house for helping him out, although he does save up to get better quality equipment to replace the stuff, he totally didn’t steal

If people mention about how depressed they are or if they feel disgusting but he makes them feel better, or even joked about suicide, in the live stream everything stops and he just looks down the camera and assures them that they are beautiful and deserve to live and suicide is never the way to deal with your problems, trust him, he knows

Everything just goes all serious until he has said his piece, no one is commenting and then he goes back to his happy self and is all like ‘don’t worry babes, I got ya back!’ and continues on chatting about nonsense for a while

He runs constant streams for charities that focus on mental health, it’s his one platform

He rarely accepts sponsors for his videos, he does have a patreon though

He has only accepted 3 sponsors in his time on Youtube, all of them were surrounding suicide and self-harm prevention

Offers really shitty advice but he has the spirit and means well

His followers affectionately call themselves ‘Juicey’s Babes’ which he finds hysterical

Anyone who’s been on a call with him can confirm that he is just as chaotic in real life as he is on his channel, it is not an act

But he genuinely cares and remembers everything about his followers, if one pops up on the stream chat, he will ask about their days and if the date went well with the guy from work etc.

Does do educational videos when he finds out from Lydia that sex ed in the US is pretty piss poor and that’s unacceptable! Teaches you how to put on condoms and what a clit is

Is constantly demonetised from Youtube but doesn’t give a shit

It wasn’t until someone suggested that he do a reaction video for one of your vids that he falls in love with your channel for the first time

It, too, is a mish mash of things but your schedule is a lot more constant, posting 5 days a week as a full time professional youtuber. It was exhausting but you love the work

Video game streaming or singing a cover of a song on alternate Mondays, Conspiracy videos or exploring cold cases and the supernatural on alternate Tuesdays, Cooking videos on Wednesday, general chat and educational videos on Thursday, Story Time, Crafts and Challenges on Friday with a live stream every third Saturday just talking smack

He falls in love with your channel so quick, and during the time he’s not filming or editing or whatever, he’s watching your videos

He joins your discord and talks there often

Lydia reaches out to you to ask if you’d do a collab with Beetlejuice and you agree, loving him on your discord chat and also the few videos you’ve seen

You agree to do a live reaction to the most recent Buzzfeed Unsolved video that was coming out that Saturday for your live stream, and that for his next gaming video you’d join in and play Animal Crossing with him

Beetlejuice is SO nervous when it comes to that Saturday, he really wants to impress you and not embarrass himself

It goes so well, people are commenting about what a good duo the two of you make as you crack jokes with one another, and even after the streaming finishes, you end up video chatting on your private discord for the rest of the afternoon

The gaming stream goes even better, having known each other a little better now and having found your rhythm which lead to a better stream

Suddenly, the two of you were doing collabs at least once a month, and Beetlejuice could feel himself falling hard for you

The two of you spoke nearly every day on Discord, mostly doing it via video or voice chat so you didn’t waste time typing

If either of you ended up on each other’s livestreams on Twitch or Youtube, everyone is a flurry because you end up joking with each other through the comments and its always fun to watch the two of you banter

Definitely have a few people ‘ship’ you and Beetlejuice is confused because what’s a ship?

Eventually, you get offered to go to Vidcon and when you told Beetlejuice, he revealed he did too but he wasn’t sure if he was gonna go

You say that’s a shame because you were really looking forward to officially meeting him and that Changed His Mind Quick Smart

There was so much prep that was going into Vidcon, you both agreed to do your stream there and just do bits of behind the scenes filming together

You both knew what you looked like and both knew you got along, but both of you were nervous the closer the day arrived

End up doing a panel together and that’s when you first meet, mostly because you were running super late and couldn’t meet before hand

Beetlejuice is literally buzzing with excitement and when you walk on stage, apologising for running late, he just beams and tackles you into a hug

He’s just so excited to finally meet you in person

(A video of him attacking you goes up on youtube and is instantly gif’ed and becomes a meme because everyone loves how excited he was to finally meet you and touch you)

You end up spending more time together than initially planned, but neither of you minded

The first video when you get back is filmed at your place and is titled ‘How I managed to snag a hottie for a girlfriend’, with the icon being Beetlejuice pointing at you with an excited look on your face, you rolling your eyes with your head in your hands

Everyone’s OTP

You keep your individual channels but definitely start doing more collabs on the reg whilst maintaining that perfect life/work balance, not everything needs to go on Youtube

You end up moving to be closer to him, you meet the family and Beetlejuice is just so so happy

And so are you

[solarheiress]

Literally all of the lovesquare is trash not just ladrien lmao

I personally don’t think of it as trash, but I appreciate your input?

Don’t get me wrong I do like the lovesquare, so these kind of messages kind of lose their impact on me. It’s more that, some ways they interact are better than others to me.

To sum up my opinion on the lovesquare dynamics and ranking them from best to nah here:

1) adrinette

2)marichat

3)ladynoir

4) that thing I’m trying not to accidentally put this post on the dash of people who like it. And am hoping that anon not blocking out the word won’t put it there if it does I’m sorry

I obviously prefer marichat more than tumblr does, everything else lines up and I still feel pretty vaild and plenty petty. If you want an explanation behind my reasoning, click below!

Starting with la/////drien, my point is that “cute flustered” bit never came through for me, I never liked it, they always just seemed awkward and distracted and the situation was uncomfortable. That side is my least favorite mostly because of two things.

1) how it started. As the show goes on, they’re obviously acknowledging that the other person involved has flaws, but at first they were really just putting the other person up on a pedestal and that mentally lasted a lot longer than I’m comfortable with. I’ve see the “all crushes are like that” argument going around and I just.... they aren’t? Maybe for the first little while, or, certain crushes, but it’s just weird to me in this case.

2) in this situation the masks actually bother me more. With lady noir, they’re both wearing masks and if I’m being honest that’s one step above lad////rien for me anyways, but, there is equal anonymity.

On the other hand, I think I like marichat because, in my opinion, adrien would f**k up the whole secret identity thing pretty fast in that scenario while Marinette wouldn’t? Or at least, adrien would do it sooner.

What I mean is that, in my opinion, Adrien’s behavior towards Marinette would change noticeabley and faster. I mean, we already saw this with evillustrator, the first thing he tried was asking her about his super self lmao? It’s going to take a lot for Marinette to be less flustered and awkward around Adrien, even being in her superhero persona didn’t really help all the way, plus secret identity keeping is really her thing at this point. Plus I believe they have a better chance of really getting to know the sides of one another that they don’t usually see. No awkward flustering or dumb distractions, they’re best buddies who know each other too well and can’t be best buddies at first and have to try very hard to not let on how well they know each other.

Adrien has to fight his way around not mentioning school and Marinette can’t remember their superheroing to well, friend running the ladyblog or not. Plus the whole concept of Adrien supporting Marinette’s crush on who he presumed is luka/Nathaniel/whoever is hilarious, and the chaos that would ensue if she followed Chat’s suggestions around Adrien would be hilarious too. (There’s an amazing fancomic where he comes across her upset after another failed confession and wants to know who the asshole is and she tells him and his brain stalls at “I’m the asshole?”) it’s just perfect to me lol.

But back to the masks! For one, whether you like it or not, they do act differently when they are and aren’t wearing them, specifically towards eachother! Marinette being so awkward and flustered almost solely around Adrien isn’t really her whole personality, it’s a consequence of her crush. When Adrien isn’t chat noir, he’s more.... well behaved and proper are the best words that come to mind. I’m not saying that these things aren’t apart of their personalities, but when the masks shift in certain ways they’re amplified in such a way that it sells the dichotomy perfectly. To Marinette, Chat is fun and goofy, and Adrien, although similar, is more reserved and polite. To Adrien, Marinette is shy, nervous and endearingly clumsy, with moments of confidence to be proud of while ladybug is confident and capable after a few bumps in the road. This does affect how they see the other person (ie, as two distinct people) and change how they act towards one another, as well as how they react to what they’ve perceived as a different person. Marinette obviously doesn’t fluster as easily and can be sarcastic and serious around Chat, and even though it isn’t quite as simple as I’m going to phrase it, Adrien is almost more... gentle, in the way he interacts with Marinette vs ladybug, almost like he’s seen her freak out so much that he feels a potential freak out is around the corner if he missteps.

(Back to Marichat lol) Another reason marichat bothers me less is that romance isn’t the goal from the outset. Befriending someone you don’t know a lot about is no big deal. Even though it’s a bit ironic for them, wanting to meet/befriend a superhero is a realistic goal for not hero people, and chat noir has interacted with Marinette a lot, so it’s not surprising he’d want to get to know her better. And they aren’t obsessed with dating/marrying each other, so they get to be goofy and also run the gambit of emotion when they realized they f**ked up and fell for each other by accident.

It’s simultaneously a cute friendship, a budding attraction towards one another and a somewhat stressful and unknowingly mutual game of cat and mouse as they’re both trying not to screw up identity stuff. With Lad///rien it’s just.... dramatic sigh and swooning nonsense.

(One last thing, the idea that chat noir would start paying more attention to where Marinette is and accidentally f**k up her chances for transformation by trying to make sure she’s safe is hilarious because unlike Adrien to ladybug, Marinette would appreciate the concern but start to get annoyed at some point and maybe even attempt to talk to him about it as ladybug, to get him to focus on fighting and not “some girl” which chat can easily misinterpret as jealous could you imagine)

Back to where we started, Ladr////ien just doesn’t work for me in a way that Marichat does. But beyond just the hero/civilian self sides, ladynoir works better in my opinion because again, equal anonymity, and second, Marinette would be consciously choosing chat noir instead of Adrien, not just getting an accidental 2 for 1 deal. I know they’d probably end up happy eventually, but I have a feeling that finding out Chat Noir, who ladybug turned down, kind of used the fact that she didn’t know his identity to date her anyways wouldn’t sit well with Marinette. And even though Marinette hasn’t really confessed, adrien might get the same feeling of, almost a betrayal in a sense.

(Marichat is also like ladynoir because they’re consciously choosing not ladybug and not Adrien, even though they get a surprise 2 for 1 anyways, and in that circumstance, finding out that they accidentally fell in love with the same person twice would probably smooth things over).

Adrienette will always be the part of the lovesquare that is the best because it’s.... it’s just them. It’s what the ship would be called if not for the secret identity complication. It’s probably where they’d pretty quickly land in the event of a reveal. Obviously, the dynamic would be something different if they revealed themselves, but in my opinion it’s also the most..... stable, I suppose, and equal, in the sense that, while, yes, they’re both hiding superhero secrets, I doubt they wouldn’t tell eachother eventually. They could meet each others friends and parents (if Gabriel didn’t suck so badly). It works in a way that ladynoir, lad////rien and even marichat doesn’t because even though they are hiding something from one another, it’s not a massive factor in how they interact. Ladynoir can’t happen without the constant reminder that they don’t even know each others names. Marinette would probably start to get frustrated with the idea that she’s dating Adrien but can’t hold his hand at school because she’s the wrong her. Adrien, well, as I said my theory is he’d flirt with Marinette by accident as himself rather than chat and complicate matters, but not like Marinette will “oh no two boys I like like me back what now”, instead she’d “two boys who like me look and act very similar and I’m starting to connect dots I’m not supposed to connect”

[spnfanficpond]

Pond Live Chat Statement

As some of you may know, we recently hosted one of our Live Chat Events in the Pond Discord server. The topic of discussion was The Male Perspective of Sex and Fanfiction. While we are very aware that it is impossible to make everyone happy, we did not expect, nor were we prepared for, this topic to elicit the response it did.

Kale, Michelle, and I, Mana, firstly need to thank AND apologize to our guest host, @superfanficnatural​. When we had the idea, borne from a curiosity about a different perspective than our norm, we did not expect backlash and we are deeply sorry for putting you in a position to receive that. Thank you for your candidness in the chat and for being so patient with us the past couple of days. Through this upset, we also want to thank all of those who spoke to us privately for being honest, civil, and patient with us as we worked to make sure everyone was heard.

Now, this is what we have to say about what happened:

We invited a penis-owning male into our female space and asked him candid questions that we had been unable to get answers to in the past from other penis-owning males. He answered those questions to the best of his ability, sometimes in a joking manner. We went into this conversation with a few prepared questions/answers and a general idea of the kinds of questions we wanted to ask and where the chat would go. As a result, most of the questions that were asked were spontaneous and worded as well as they could be in real-time. The recap post was thrown together while the chat was happening and was not reviewed before being posted.

There are several places where we could have done better, and we acknowledge that. Instead of postponing the discussion to give ourselves more time to prepare, we decided to wing it. We’ve done this in the past without incident, and did not expect a different result. We now know better and we will make sure we are better prepared in the future.

That being said, many of the loudest complaints we received seem to have come from a misunderstanding of tone or a misreading of the recap post, itself. Below the cut, we have listed these comments and explained our stand on each one. Furthermore, the tone of what’s been said about the recap has ranged from supportive comments up to and including hurtful words towards everyone involved. Civil discourse is encouraged. Cursing, insulting, demeaning, and name-calling are not.

**In the future, we ask that if the Pond, or someone therein, does/says something that upsets you, PLEASE come to one of the admins to discuss it, especially before making ANY public statements. This is why: When we are upset, we say things in ways we wouldn’t when we’re calm. These changes in expression spark feelings in others, possibly upsetting them. Suddenly, everyone is upset and screaming at each other, cursing, and calling each other names. A quick conversation with an admin can sometimes resolve issues or shed light on a situation before starting any unwanted drama. If talking with us doesn’t help, we would ask to help you craft your public statements so they spark conversation instead of inviting drama. For example:

Sparking conversation - “Our featured guest this month said that they thought the moon was made of green cheese. Although I can see where they might think that, I believe the moon is made from blue cheese. Here are a few reasons to support my theory.” Invites polite, reasoned discourse.

Inviting drama - “Our featured guest this month is a pompous blowhard who gets off on telling us how the moon tastes when they have no experience or credentials to back it up.” Invites yelling, cursing, and name-calling.

We’ve also heard from several, more than several, people that they didn’t want to come to us with any issues they had because they didn’t want to bother us or add to our plates. If you have an issue come up and feel this way, please just fucking come to us! In not talking to an admin and dealing with things on your own, more often than not, those small issues have a way of turning into bigger things (like this whole chat fiasco) and us admins end up spending literal DAYS trying to wade through everything to get to a resolution.

If you have, and we cannot stress this enough, ANY issue, comment, concern, question, about anything Pond related, PLEASE come to us. Please let us help you have conversations instead of drama!**

Also note: From here on out, any disrespectful or unnecessary public mentions of anyone’s sexual orientation or experience level will be enough to permit being removed from the Pond. Everyone has the right to keep their business private, and their business is not cannon fodder for a public mud-slinging war. The fact that we have heard so many people discuss Mert’s sexuality and experience flippantly and like it makes a difference to his value as a person appalls and upsets us. Just don’t do it, guys.

At this point, we have reached out to most Pond members involved and have carried out discussions delving into the emotions and reactions that were provoked with our live chat and recap. We’ve talked all of this through with the people who were involved and the concerns and our stance on them follow below, as well as a statement from Mert that will be added to his reblog of this post. We’ll be paraphrasing several extensive conversations and simplifying the issues we’re addressing.

An issue that several people brought forward was the feeling that they were being forcefully bombarded with the male perspective, and were told how to behave in deference to men (i.e why do we have to make men feel comfortable?), and were told how to write.

We chose topics for the Pond Live Chat through public interest and requests in the chat rooms, general questions on Tumblr, and personal brainstorming. When we realized Mert was a male in our Pond, curiosity got the best of us and we approached him with the hope that he’d be able to shed light on what it’s like to be a penis-owning male. We invited Mert to have a candid and graphic conversation with us and the members of the chat, which was held in the NSFW room. From the very start, our intent was to shed light on the male perspective, to gain knowledge of what it is physically like to experience orgasm with a penis from a penis-owner. Our goal was to get a male’s perspective about the way men and their experiences are represented in female-written fanfiction and figure out how to better represent what we as women have not experienced ourselves.

That intent in itself was not well received by some, and to that, we can only apologize. The topic was borne of our own curiosity as women who had never gotten actual answers when we’ve asked the men in our lives these same questions. Mert was invited into our space and answered our questions with his own truth. He did not barge into our space and make demands.

The question was asked, “What kind of things do you think women in fandom can do to help welcome guys in? What can women/fanfic writers do to help welcome guys into the world of fanfic so it's less intimidating?”

It is undeniable that men are a minority in the space of fanfiction and in the Spn Fanfic Pond. The question was asked on the fly and was never intended to give anyone the feeling that they should be catering to men in the one space where women are free of men’s influence. It was a question as to how we can make men more comfortable expressing themselves in the world of fanfiction and in this space of the Pond. This is a question the admins have asked about EVERY SINGLE MEMBER. It is our deepest hope that the Pond can be a welcoming space for everyone. That is part of the idea that saw the Pond go from just an idea to reality.

We should not be so insecure in this, our own space, that we can’t also make space for one man’s views and feelings. This is especially true when he was asked to bring them into our space. A man coming into a female-dominated space is bound to be intimidated, and Mert used that word himself. Since we welcome new members and new viewpoints nearly every day, we wanted to know how to decrease that discomfort so that any person, male or female or neither, can find a place where they, too, have a voice. The question did not hold keys to the kingdom, just the answers to how to find the front door.

It was brought to our attention that we used the incorrect terminology in our title and it was expressed that multiple men hosting the chat would have offered a more expansive and less specific insight into the experience of being male.

In the Pond’s history, only a few men have joined, and to our knowledge those members are no longer active in the group or on Tumblr. When we had a man join and our questions began to crop up, that one man was invited and was happy to join us and chat as honestly as he could about his experience with us. Since the recap was posted and comments began pouring in, we have tried to find other men who are familiar with fan fiction and willing to come and talk to us so we’re not only presenting one male’s view. So far, we’ve found none. If you know one, please let us know!

It was pointed out that titling our chat “The Male Experience” was incorrect and it should have been “A Male Experience”.  While we understand the grammatical difference between these two statements, every chat in the past has been run in a casual manner and the featured guests have never been asked to represent ALL knowledge on the subject they were discussing. Every chat guest has been asked to talk about what they know about a subject. The language of our Live Chat titles has never been looked at under this filter before.

We/Mert never claimed that this one man was indicative of ALL men. It’s unreasonable to assume that any one person could speak upon their entire gender’s experiences, and that we would ASK them to do something as impossible as that. Mert himself said, “Though, all of this information is not EXACTLY for every single man on earth, much like how things that are very common for women, is not for every single one on earth…,” and reiterated that point in lesser words a few times throughout the conversation.

There was an issue taken in the tone and intent of some of the questions and answers provided throughout the chat.

Some of the questions were worded poorly and made people feel like Mert was insulting, degrading their writing, and telling people what to do/write or how to act. The quotes we have received that gave these impressions have, for the most part, quoted the questions and not his answers. We crafted the questions for this chat around the idea that women don’t know what it feels like to ejaculate through a penis, and perhaps we’ve been getting something wrong or not representing it in its full truth because of that lack of insight. We recognize that our presentation of certain questions and ideas has led to these unsavory feelings and apologize for not preparing more carefully. We will try to do better in the future.

As far as the tone of certain answers, we have had thorough conversations about intent and reception with Mert. He has been sincere and compliant with us in these discussions and has taken this feedback to heart and will strive to do better in the future.

There was concern that we mainly discussed the physical aspect of orgasm and arousal of a penis-owning male and not any other experiences, emotions, motivations, etc.

The original concept only involved the physical, that’s true. The plan had been to announce the chat a full week beforehand to give members a chance to submit questions ahead of time. Due to personal reasons, that didn’t happen. We went into the chat with a couple of prepared questions that us admins had prompted and those who attended and hadn’t had the chance to send in questions beforehand were given the chance to ask whatever questions they had at the time. As the chat was happening, new, non-physical, questions were being logged in a separate document for further discussion at another time. Due to the short time frame around scheduling the event, when the hour was up we still had people with questions left to ask, so we decided to stop the conversation and pick it up next month (in a chat possibly longer than one hour) to get past the physical and go further in-depth. So, it’s true we didn’t get to explore more on this topic, but the book isn’t closed.

A very surprising, yet prominent, comment we received was that Mert’s sexual orientation and/or experience level did not qualify him to discuss smut in this facet.

We will say that he has been and was open in the chat about what his experiences were in relation to the questions asked. However, we refuse to out Mert in any way because his sexuality and sexual experiences are his business. If he’s a virgin or not, gay or not, experienced in any way or not - that has no bearing on his writing or on this topic, and absolutely no bearing on his value as a human being or a person who has a penis and was willing to answer our questions about it.

Yes, he was asked about physical sensations (including what a blowjob feels like), but it was always our goal to keep most of our questions geared toward overall sensations in general rather than specific sexual acts. Therefore, any sexual experience outside of his own self was not relevant for most of the chat and questions involved.

We could name, off the top of our heads, five virgins we have known who have written SUPERIOR smut (Mana included). There are also plenty of experienced folk who can’t write smut well at all. Experience is not a requirement of good writing, or we’d never have Good Omens, Star Trek, Doctor Who, The Stand, or even our beloved Supernatural. I mean, have you ever beheaded a vampire?

Finally, to the non-member ( @icemankazansky ) who sent us an ask and then reblogged the recap post when we didn’t respond in a timely manner, our response to your comments echoes most of what we’ve said above, but we wanted to respond to your comments as well:

You seem upset by the word “females” when used by a male. Do you also object when a female uses the term “males”? We used both terms throughout the entire chat so it’s not very fair-sighted for alarm bells to go off at ‘females’ and not a group of women asking about the ‘male’ experience.

We would argue that fandom, in general, is actually still dominated and curated by men. If it weren’t, fan fiction (which is dominated and curated primarily by women) wouldn’t be judged the way it is or have the derogatory implications that it does.

“I cannot get over the absolute audacity of this man coming into one of the only places in earth that doesn’t orbit his genitals, and telling the women who are already there what they’re doing wrong, and how they can change to make him more comfortable in a space not designed for him.”

As we have said above, HE WAS INVITED. WE asked the question, “Is there something we’re getting wrong?” WE also asked, “How could we make males more comfortable in this space?” He answered those questions to the best of his ability, from his perspective, which was all we required. While this space was designed by and primarily for women, there’s no reason we shouldn’t have the option of welcoming someone who is not a woman into it, if we so choose. The SPN Fanfic Pond has and always will be a champion for diversity and inclusiveness, and chooses to welcome ALL people, as long as they are not hateful.

You allude in your reblog that Mert does not contribute to or participate in the fandom, but Mert is a writer who contributes to the SPN fandom on a regular basis. That’s not to mention the emotional support he has provided to many of our members when needed. As you seem to have judged him based solely on the recap, you cannot fairly critique his presence when you’ve not experienced it, yourself.

Furthermore, he did NOT “stamp [his] feet and demand that stories are written how [he’d] like,” nor did he “bulldoze into conversations and begin policing them.” HE WAS INVITED, and his honesty and willingness to share his experiences and insight are exact counters of the toxic masculinity you claim he exhibits.

At this point, based on all of the private conversations we’ve had with the people who chose to comment on the reblog, we are taking this learning experience and will use it to our best capability. As admins, we will work harder in the future to make sure we are prepared properly when dealing with intimate subjects like these.  

Mert, our guest for the chat, has also prepared a statement similar to ours in which he gives his point of view and addresses the comments received on the recap that he will be adding to a reblog of this post.

If you have any questions, concerns, comments, feedback, etc. about this statement or anything else, please message us so we can discuss it. The inbox is always open as are our personal inboxes and IMs, discord, carrier pigeons, what have you.

~Kale, Mana and Michelle