#someone remind me why i decided to go back to university again?

[lucy90712]

Ooo part two of the request he runs into you with a rock on your finger and your newborn baby and he’s gutted. Gutted that the baby should’ve been his.

part 1 Jude's POV

"I'm sorry I just don't think we are right for each other" I said for what feels like the millionth time in the last few years 

Since seeing y/n again I decided that I needed to move on, I blocked her accounts on Instagram and deleted her contact off my phone so there was no temptation to talk to her or see what she has been doing. I thought that would help me move on but it hasn't I still think about her all the time. I never took down the pictures of us in my house because when I tried to do it the place felt so empty it no longer felt like a home so I put them back up. Everyone has told me that I just need to do it and move on in fact they tell me that I need to go to therapy and talk about my feelings but I don't want to as it's just too painful to talk about. 

Over the last few years I've tried to see other girls and some of them were so lovely but because they weren't y/n I just had no feelings towards them. There was always something that wasn't right some just wanted my fame and money and others just weren't my type. One girl was nearly perfect she was sweet and beautiful but I just couldn't make myself have feelings for her so I ended things. Nothing has ever gone beyond a few dates I kissed a few of the girls but never went any further and they certainly come back to my place as then I'd have it explain the pictures. All I've had is situationships and meaningless one night stands which is all I deserve after the way I treated the only girl I ever truly loved. 

After ending my last situationship I had to go for a walk on my own to clear my head as all of this is starting to get stupid. It has dawned on me that maybe I do need to go to therapy or talk to someone to work through what is stopping me from moving on and letting myself love someone else. My way of living solely in the past isn't healthy and it's starting to really ruin my life as I'm not letting myself enjoy going on dates and finding someone who is right for me. It seems like an impossible task right now to move on but I know I can do it y/n did it so why can't I. Going outside and letting myself think has given me a new lease of life I'm ready to go home and and finally take down the pictures and remove all the other things that remind me of y/n even if the house feels bare for a while I can add things that have no memories tied to them. 

Just as I made it to the park near my house to just sit and think with no one else around I saw someone sat on the bench I usually sit on by the lake. It was a couple with a newborn baby but I couldn't see either of their faces at first. A few seconds later they moved and I nearly fainted when I saw who it was. It was y/n and Carlos with what must be their baby and y/n had a ring on her finger so they must be engaged. My friends told me that she moved out of Madrid a while ago and hasn't really been back but here she is right in front of me. I haven't seen her since the first night I saw her with Carlos and I thought I'd never see her again but there she is on the day I decide that I need to move on. The universe really has awful timing but I guess seeing her living her life with another man is all the more reason to move on. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Your POV

"Did I leave my rings in the bathroom?" I asked Carlos from the bedroom 

"Yeah they are here I'll bring them out" he said 

"Thank you I had to take them off to wash my hands after she was sick and then completely forgot about putting them back on I swear baby brain is going to kill me" I said 

"It's ok you don't need to stress about it if you forget to put your rings on I don't care as long as you and little one are ok nothing else matters" Carlos said handing me back my rings 

"I'm so glad we are here getting to see friends has made me feel so much more human and not like I've just crawled out of the grave" I joked

"See I told you getting away from home and having a different routine would be good you've been at home for over a month now it's good to get back some sense of normality" he said 

"How about we go for a walk in the park before we meet everyone later" I suggested 

"Sounds good I'll get the baby in the stroller" Carlos said

Carlos has been the best since the baby arrived 5 weeks ago of course he still has practice sessions but every second he can he spends helping me and making sure I'm ok as well as the baby. I couldn't ask for a better husband he has been the best partner since we got together but he really stepped it up once we got engaged a year and a half ago. It's crazy to think we have been together for 4 years now and married for nearly 1 especially when we met at such an awful time in my life but Carlos has truly shown me the bright side of life. 

Walking the streets of Madrid and going to the park I used to walk through when I lived here feels a little bit weird I haven't been here since I moved away 3 years ago but this place holds a lot of memories some good some bad but the bad memories are so far in the past they almost don't matter anymore. As Carlos pushed the stroller while holding my hand as I walked next to him I couldn't help but think about the last time I came to this park which is when I broke up with Jude. After ending things I didn't know where to go so I came here and just cried my eyes out which I think is my lowest moment in life but yet here I am just a few years later at my happiest with my perfect little family. 

We walked around for a while before the baby got fussy so we sat down on a bench by the lake so I could feed her before we meet friends for dinner. It was lovely and peaceful as there was hardly anyone else around so we sat there and talked for a while even after the baby had eaten and fallen asleep again. Eventually we had to leave so I had to place the baby back in her stroller as slowly as I could as not to wake her which is a skill I've developed since she was born. As we turned around to leave I saw someone else walking down the path in the park who looked familiar then I realised it was Jude. 

I haven't seen him since that night in the club years ago now and honestly until today I haven't really thought about him it's been so long that I've moved on. Sure what he did was awful and ruined me for a while but things have changed and I don't like to hold a grudge so weirdly it was nice to see him as I have no idea how he's been since I left. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Jude's POV

Before I could turn around and go the other way she had noticed me and waved with a bright smile on her face the smile I used to love seeing everyday. Some weird force of nature was pulling me towards her I know I should just wave back and walk another way but I'm drawn to her something in me needs to be closer to her and talk to her again. It's this part of me that has stopped me from moving on but maybe seeing her one last time and having her tell me how happy she is in her new life will be what I need to hear to realise I have to move on. 

The closer I got the more obvious the ring on her finger became and that's when I could see that she actually had two rings a beautiful engagement ring that was very much her style and a wedding ring that was equally spectacular. She was never someone to love jewellery with big gem stones or anything hugely fancy so the two more understated but still tasteful rings are exactly what I knew she would've wanted. There was a time I looked at engagement rings for her but I never actually bought one and now I regret not just taking the plunge as then this could be us. Being closer to her also allowed me to see her baby in the stroller, the baby was very small so clearly a newborn and dressed in white with pink flowers so likely a girl. I could see a lot of y/n in the baby even though she's very small but the thick black hair stood out as a feature passed down from her now husband Carlos. It got me thinking what our kids would've looked like would they end up with her best features like her lips and her beautiful eyes and would we have boys or girls. A lot of hypotheticals were flowing around my brain. 

"Hi it's been so long how have you been?" She asked bringing me back to reality 

"I've been good life has been keeping me busy but it's been good" I lied as not to make her or myself feel bad 

"Congratulations on everything you've won with the team I hear you've done really well" she said 

"Thanks how have you been I see a lot has changed" I half joked 

"Yeah it's been a crazy few years but it's even crazier now that this little one has arrived she keeps us up at all hours of the day" she laughed 

"Well congrats she's beautiful" I said 

"Not when she's screaming at 3am" Carlos joked 

"It's been great to see you again but we have dinner with friends to get to it's been lovely to catch up I hope life keeps treating you well Jude" she said 

"You too I hope you all stay well" I said letting them leave 

I sat down in the bench the two of them were just sat on as they walked away while trying to tell myself that her walking away was her leaving my life for good and my signal to let go of the past. It still hurts that she's so ok without me while I've been a mess but I don't know what I expected she's always been such an amazing person so someone was always going to see that and want to be with her. I suppose I'm glad that Carlos seems like such a nice guy as I did want the best for her and he seems like the perfect husband so if it can't be me I'm glad it's him who can make her happy everyday. 

It's finally time to move on she has her life and clearly doesn't think about her time with me so it's time for me to do the same. No one will ever be her so I need to stop trying to find someone who is she might've been my first love but that doesn't mean she has to be my last. 

[rapha-reads]

You ever have to write a short paper on a material that's just so dry and empty and uninteresting you'd rather give yourself papercuts between your fingers?

[samcarter34]

Since people seem to once again be having trouble remembering the order of operations, let me just remind everyone:

The ability Laudna possesses to feed Delilah is Hunger of the Shadow. In the fight with Bor’dor, Laudna used that BEFORE Orym’s head nod. Bor’dor attacked them and her response was to do the thing she knew would give power to Delilah. Matt even makes the sound of Delilah’s heartbeat.

The spell she used after the head nod? Whither and Bloom. The same spell she later attacked Orym with, which isn’t even a warlock spell.

And speaking of the head nod, you want to know what’s it’s prefaced with? ‘Laudna you can do whatever you want.’ And Marisha responds by saying that Laudna is ‘barely present’ because she’s having ptsd flashbacks to all of the times something horrible happened to her and she couldn’t do anything about it. So she kills Bor’dor because it makes her feel in control of the situation.

And yeah, the 4SD where Liam says Orym thought Delilah might come back. Except y’all somehow took that and made it seem like he’s the one who shoved Laudna over the edge when what actually happened is that Laudna flung herself off it because betrayal is triggering to her.

And the sword. The sword which apparently wasn’t triggering enough that Imogen contemplating whether the Vanguard were good guys didn’t cause any reaction. Or for that matter, make her object to Ashton’s ‘this is permission statement.’ But she saw Orym wearing it, got uncomfortable and then all it took was one sentence from Delilah for her to decide to steal it. Delilah, who mutilated her, murdered her, has been possessing her for decades, and who basically held her soul hostage when BH wanted VM to resurrect Laudna. But what Delilah didn’t do? Tell Laudna to steal the sword.

I wasn’t around for campaign 1, but in campaign 2 I definitely noticed a trend that people who were all ‘I love women! Female characters rock!’ would, the second one of their alleged faves did something controversial (or just something they didn’t like) would find a way to shift the onus onto someone else so she could remain blameless. And that is definitely continuing this campaign, and if anything is getting worse (which, not to get into speculation, but I wonder if it’s because all of the female characters this go round are more traditionally feminine than last campaign.)

I think the reason Orym’s been getting raked across the coals so hard by certain parts of the fandom is actually because of this. Because Imogen’s repeatedly gone ‘what if the Vanguard have a point’ and Laudna agrees with everything she says, whereas Orym’s been pretty consistently ‘no, the murder cult that murdered my family are bad guys.’ And well, can’t go around admitting that our faves did something wrong.’

And so we have a situation where Laudna attacks Orym, but somehow that’s Orym’s fault because the possibility of Laudna doing something wrong ruins people’s lesbian cottegecore fantasy. But the thing is, that whole thing was all Laudna. She chose to listen to her first murderer when Delilah said ‘maybe it’s cursed’ and then she chose to blanket the room in magical darkness (sorcerer ability, not warlock) chose to cast an area of effect spell to destroy the thing Orym was using to sheath the sword (sorcerer spell, not warlock) and, upon hurting Orym, chose not to drop said darkness, which meant Orym couldn’t see who attacked him. And when she got caught, she tried to downplay what she did, tried to say that because she didn’t mean to hurt him it didn’t count, refused to apologize for actually hurting him, kept shifting her argument (and even low key got called out on it by Imogen when she asked Laudna why she’s want its power inside her if she thinks it’s so evil.)

There is an alternate universe where Laudna wakes Orym up and they have what probably would have been an intense discussion about the sword (and that might even have been what Marisha was aiming for before Delilah got involved) and THAT truly would have been the ‘both sides are equally right’ scenario, but that’s not what we got. And you can say Orym shouldn’t have taken the sword unilaterally (but somehow Laudna’s allowed to unilaterally steal and absorb it?) or that she’s being manipulated by Delilah, but the fact is that Laudna’s an adult and is responsible for her own decisions. Yes, Delilah is a powerful and malign presence that they all downplayed/ignored, but, to use Marisha’s addiction metaphor, making amends with those you’ve harmed is a part of recovery for a reason. Because ultimately, you are the one who did that. Yes, it does immensely suck for Laudna that she’s been handed the cards she has been, but it’s up to her to make the best play she can.

Wow this got long, but my overall point is that Laudna is a character with her own agency and makes her own decisions (well, Marisha makes them, but at this point y’all should know she’s not conflict averse and is willing to have her characters make controversial character choices). And really, take all that away, what’s left? How much onus can you take from a character before you might as well go look at a painting?

[defnotev5]

BLOCK!-Satoru G.

Featuring: Gojo Satoru x Female reader

synopsis: After being tired of stalking your ex, you decided to block him. Will he not gaf or maybe he will show up to your house to remind you that you are still his?

smut!! spanking(ass), oral(f! receiving), creampie, pet names, that knee thing, swearing, make up sex, degradation, hair pulling, fingering, mean Satoru, reader is a tease, unprotected, overstimulation(kinda), marking, aftercare, a little bit of crack and fluff, mentions of “The diary of a wimpy kid”

A/N: It’s my first time writing, so please be lenient:))

!Art or cosplay is not mine, credits to the owner¡

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It’s over. It really is

That’s what you’ve been telling yourself for the past two weeks. You had to understand that your ex boyfriend won’t come back and that, from now on you have to focus on yourself. Will it be easy? Definitely not. After your two-year relationship with Satoru and the countless hours you two have spent together, you knew that it would be difficult for you to deal with this situation. Stomach pains, headaches, bawling your eyes out… Yeah, definitely not the best experience of your life. At least, you had your best friends, Maki and Nobara. When you told them that the two of you broke up, they tried to cheer you up in numerous ways and in the end, they forced you to go clubbing until 6 am(this didn’t age well).

Here you are again, stalking his social media. It started to develop as a habit and now you can’t help but wonder what he does, where he is and if he found someone else. The reality is that you really wanted him to contact you, but his ego would never allow him. He was cocky, confident and definitely competitive, he wouldn’t text first. And that’s when it hit you. The stalking wouldn’t do anything as it was a situation that made you suffer. An endless cycle of pain and suffering. After some seconds, you decide that you have to stop this bad habit and move on. You opened your instagram and searched his profile, it was kind of strange that both of you hadn’t removed each other. You stared at his profile for six minutes, to be exact while your hands were shaking. Maybe it really is over. That is what you told yourself as you finally pressed it. He was blocked… After a while, you repeated the whole process and just like that, you blocked him from everywhere.

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“Fuck”

It was 3 am and you woke up to the notification on your phone. You grabbed your phone to see who it was and that’s when you realized….

Y/n

Have you lost your mind

?

Why did you block me?

Oh. My. God.

The messages were sent by a random number, but you instantly knew who it was.

What do you want Satoru?

Well, I definitely didn’t want you to block me

Deal with it

Your heart beats fast, your palms are sweating and you are socked. What the fuck just happened. Why would he care? He didn’t show any discomfort when you broke up. Why did it bother him that much?

Half an hour passed and you decided to go to the kitchen to drink some water and calm yourself down. As you were heading downstairs you heard the doorbell ringing.

“Wtf, who decided to visit at 3 am”

You headed towards the door and opened it. And that’s when you saw him. White hair, stunning features and his eyes…

His eyes are the most beautiful shade of blue. Its hue is so bright and vibrant that it might even put the sky to shame. Like the depth of an ocean and shimmering like a precious gem. Satoru’s eyes are like windows to his soul. One look at them and you can't help but feel like you are staring into the universe. They are so mesmerizing, they have a unique intensity and there is an intriguing glow in them.

“What the hell…”

“I’m sorry for coming without a warning but I didn’t have a choice”

“You must be kidding me. It’s 3 am.”

“I know but I can’t stand all this shit Y/n”

“It’s your fault Satoru, just leave me alone. I don’t have the energy to deal with you rn”

“You are wearing my shirt”

“What?…”

You were surprised by his unexpected comment. You looked at the shirt and realised that indeed it was his.

“All of your stuff will be returned”

You spoke with an emotionless and serious tone that wasn’t familiar to him.

“Oh yeah? And when exactly do you plan on returning them?”

He raised his eyebrow and looked at you curiously. A smirk appeared on his lips that tempted you to slap him and make him shut up.

“You know what? I’m actually returning them now” and after your response, you took off his shirt slowly in order to provoke him and handed it to him. Except, there was a minor detail that couldn’t be bypassed. You were completely naked underneath.

Satoru’s mocking expression dropped and his eyes widened. He was speechless for a moment while he was admiring your body. It was something he always did. No matter how many times he has seen you naked, he would always feel aroused by your body.

“You have no idea what you are starting right now”. His stare now became cold and possessive while his eyes darkened. You would be lying if you said that he didn’t frighten you. “I’m not starting anything Gojo. Plus, I’m pretty sure that the fact that I’m naked at the moment, leaves you completely indifferent”

You didn’t believe your statement, you just wanted to push his buttons in order to see his next move. You felt the adrenaline rushing through your veins while your heart was beating so fast that you swore you could have had a heart attack.

Without a second thought, Gojo grabbed you and leaned you against the wall. Your bodies were pressing together and you could feel his skin against yours. He put his knee between your legs while he applied pressure on your clit, hitting your vulva. You let out a low moan from the sudden friction as his grinding movements were gentle and slow.

“Why did you block me Y/n?”

“B-Because I wanted to”. You tried to respond but the state you were in, made it hard to do so.

“Oh really? So you don’t miss me?”

“I don’t miss you at all”

That was a big lie, he consumed your brain and soul but you wouldn’t admit that to him. As you said those words he leaned to the side of your head until you felt his hot breath on your ear.

“Say that you hate me”

Your breath starts to get heavy as the tension builds up by second. You felt your body giving in as you started to tremble a little. You looked at him with pleading eyes and obeyed his command.

“I-I hate you”

You didn’t even believe your own words and Satoru exhaled.

“Really? Then why is your pussy this wet just from my knee”

Your body felt hot and your cheeks started to become red. You couldn’t stand this, it was too much. When you were about to reply, Satoru interrupted you.

“You know, I missed you so fucking much and I don’t even care about this breakup shit anymore”

His confession made you feel shocked but somehow excited at the same time. You were on the verge of giving in.

“Satoru, please leave”

You tried to sound unbothered and uninterested but the truth is that you wanted to just grab him and kiss him hard.

“Okay… if that’s what you want. But I need you to do something first”

“I swear if it’s something stupi-“

“Just one kiss. The day we broke up I didn’t have the chance to talk to you”

It’s true. Both of you didn’t have the chance to see the other when the breakup happened. You hadn’t seen him in a while…

“Just do it”

Without being able to process the whole scene, he kissed you. The kiss was soft and you could sense the taste of candy in his tongue. He grabbed your hips, tracing circles around them, while you caressed his hair. After a few seconds, he deepened the kiss while your tongues were fighting for dominance. The kiss became hard as Satoru bit your lip and his hand made its way to your boobs. He pinched your nipple while his other hand was caressing your chest.

After breaking the kiss, he traced wet kisses all over your neck that made you flinch. You were still in his embrace while he kissed and nibbled on your neck, right near the spot where your collarbone and neck meet. He started to suck on that spot, creating hickeys on your skin.

“Satoru…. P-please upstairs”

You weren’t able to talk properly as he picked you up and headed towards your bedroom “I know baby how much you missed me. It’s okay you know” he teased, “F-fuck you”. When the two of you made it to your bedroom, Gojo threw you to the bed. He then, crawled on top of you, his gaze locked on yours as he grinned mischievously.

“Such a dirty girl, ready to be fucked by her ex”

“Satoru… Please”

“Please what? Use your words baby”

“P-please… touch me”

“Be specific babe, where do you want me to touch you?”

“My c-cunt”

As soon as you said those words, Gojo started to slowly rub your clit again while he maintained eye contact “Fuck love, its so wet”

“Satoruuu, shit-”

“Moan for me baby, pussy’s so sweet”. You weren’t able to comprehend what was happening, your body felt like it was going to explode and your loud moans filled the room. Gojo started to leave kisses all over your body while he shove two fingers inside you “Oh baby, too much? Seems like you have to remember the way we fuck then”. You were going crazy as you felt him kissing your inner thighs now “Ahhhh~ b-baby oh my god”. Satoru licked your clit and you felt your legs trembling, “Someone’s sensitive”. You grabbed the sheets tightly as he kissed your cunt and started to give it licks “S-stop this-fuck… this torture”, “Eager huh? Beg me”.

“pleaseplease Satoru eat me out pleasee”. After begging him, Satoru sucked your clit while he curled his fingers inside you. The moans you couldn’t control echoed in the room because the pleasure you felt was unreal. After a few minutes, you felt your orgasm approaching “F-fuck Satoru I’m so close”.

After hearing those words, Gojo stopped and smirked at you “I want you to cum on my cock baby”. You whined and pouted at his response “Fuck off Satoru”. Satoru unexpectedly grabbed you and pulled you over his lap, pushing you down on your stomach. “Seems like you want it the hard way”. He landed a hard smack on your ass while he made sure to keep you in place with his other hand. Satoru had now full control of the situation.

“w-WHY”

“Count with me babe”

He told you while caressing your ass and giving it a playful squeeze.

“This is for blocking me”

“Ah-one”. The first smack stung, you weren’t prepared and as a result, you squirmed.

“This is for testing my patience”.

“t-two”. The second time, he did it harder. You let out a muffled scream as you felt pleasure and pain mixed together. It was like a rush sensation, you didn’t want it to stop.

“And this is for making me so fucking horny”

“THREE” You shouted as the third time he smacked your ass with much more force. He then gave your ass a kiss as he placed you on all fours, “You have no idea how much I missed you, how much I missed this”. Gojo started to undress himself while admiring your naked body in the position he put you in. After he got fully naked, you couldn’t help but turn around to look at him. Satoru never failed to surprise you with his size. His dick was for sure eight inches, it was veiny and pale. It had the perfect thickness and it was slightly curved to the right. Satoru’s pelvis hair was white and well-trimmed but what stood out to you the most was his tip. Its color was a pretty pink and a large amount of precum was leaking from it. It seemed almost like he had already cummed, his cock was wet as fuck. “Baby, it’s very big… I don’t think I c-“, he smacked your ass and you flinched. “Shut up, you are gonna take it like the good girl you are”, he told you before grabbing a condom, “Wanna feel you raw… I’m on the pill”.

Gojo pulled your hair and whispered in your ear “Wanna breed you baby? Wanna feel my cum inside you huh?”, “Ohh fuck yes Satoru”. After he heard your moans, Gojo teased your entrance with his tip while he left small kisses on your lobe. Within the next minutes he began to thrust slowly into you “Fuckk baby you are so freaking tight”. You sobbed as his cock was too big to handle but you tried your best to take it. After getting used to it, you begged him “Please baby, go f-faster”, “Oh, that’s what you want?”, “Yesyes oh my god please”. Gojo thrust his whole length into you without a warning “Take it, fucking take it slut”.

Your whimpers became louder as Satoru fucked you hard and fast, his hips rocking and thrusting deeper inside of you. You grabbed the cupboard of the bed for support as he fucked you like he hates you, hitting a spot that made you go crazy with every thrust. Your back is arched and Gojo hammers into you harder, with an animalistic speed. “Shit baby, you feel so good around my cock” he praised you while his eyes rolled due to the overwhelming pleasure. You clenched around his cock and he slammed inside of you before pulling out and then thrusting again.

He fucked you dumb, with so much force that you started to feel dizzy “G-Gojo too much”, “Shh baby, keep being a good girl and take it”. You couldn’t control yourself anymore, Gojo rubbed circles around your clit at a fast pace while fucking you deep “Filthy girl, you blocked me but still moan my name like a bitch, pathetic”.

As you felt like you were going to cum, your hands grabbed his thigh from behind and your nails dug into his skin, leaving marks on the places your fingers touched. His tip was hitting your cervix and you felt his cock twitching inside you. “Satoru I-I think I’m going to-”

Without a warning, he flipped you over and pinned you down to the bed. He puts your legs on his shoulders as she starts to ram into you harshly, without mercy. “Not yet b-baby, have to feel you a little more”. You whimpered softly as his thrusts became sloppier as time passed. You looked so beautiful yet so wrecked underneath him, he fucked you so good. “Are you close baby-ahh?”, after hearing his moans you felt your orgasm approaching and you instinctively grabbed Satoru’s neck. “Satoruu-Oh god I feel it coming~”

“Yeah? Cream my dick baby” and after a few seconds, your orgasm hit you. Your body was trembling as he fucked you through your orgasm, you were seeing stars and you swear you were going to pass out from the excessive dose of pleasure. “I’m getting close baby, shit” you tried to calm yourself down due to your orgasm, but you failed as Satoru kept slamming inside you, trying to reach his high. “I’m cumming oh shit, gonna cum inside you, fill you up”, he growled and you felt his hands squeezing your hips with force while he lets out hot spurts of cum inside you that reached your womb. You felt his muscles tensing and his breathing became heavier “You did so good baby”. He took his cock out of your pussy slowly and held you close to him. Your previous orgasm was so intense that you couldn’t feel your legs, “Stay here, I’m coming back”.

He got out of the room and after a couple of minutes he was back with water and a towel “Let’s clean you up princess”. Gojo cleaned your thighs that were stained with his cum and brought you comfy clothes to wear. After he was done taking care of you, he hugged you while playing with your hair. “Satoru, did you sleep with anyone else these two weeks?” “Such a dumb question, of course not”. You remained silent for a while and then you asked him “Well I feel like we need to talk”, “Talk about you breaking up with me? Wow such a great conversation” he replied sarcastically as he held a hurtful expression, “Satoru, you agreed as well to this”.

The truth is that it was a mutual decision, let’s say a confusing situation. You and Satoru had a big fight and both of you said some hurtful things that you didn’t mean. The worst part was that due to his job, he had to be abroad for some days and the argument occurred the day he was leaving. Due to stress and the words that escaped both of your mouths, you and Satoru made a hasty decision that you should break up. After the fight, none of you tried to contact each other and you thought that it was over. “I thought that we would communicate and solve the problems you know, we acted childish”, “I’m sorry Gojo… I’m genuinely are”, “No I’m sorry, I was a jerk”, “Well you definitely were but I wasn’t better at all”. He started at your lips for a second before giving you a long soft kiss, “Now that we are okay, does it mean that you are taking me back ?”, he smirked.

“You literally had me at hello bitch”. After hearing your words, he smiled at you while caressing your cheek “I need you to be a part of my life, don’t ever do this again”, “I promise Satoru”, you pressed a quick kiss on his neck.

“Babe…” Gojo looked at you with puppy eyes “I have a bad feeling for th-“ “ZOO WEE MAMA” “SHUT UP”. You yelled as you thumped Gojo with a pillow “Just because we got back together doesn’t mean that you can say zoo wee mama all day”. After you and Gojo rewatched the diary of a wimpy kid, he wouldn’t shut up about zoo wee mama, for some reason he finds this phrase iconic. “Well, it’s a punishment for blocking me, I won’t shut up from now on”. This man will be the death of you.

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ .

“HE DID WHAT?” Maki yelled from the phone as you FaceTimed your best friends to catch up. “Y/n I swear to god, if you gave in so easily I will-” “Well, um we…”

“YOU HAD SEX?” Both of them yelled while looking at you with wide eyes. “I mean, I’m not that surprised but what the heck, I spent money on this stupid club just for nothing?” Nobara said while looking annoyed.

“Guys, calm down. Everything is fine and healthy between me and Gojo” “I swear to god… If this zoo wee mama guy breaks up with you again-”. As soon as Maki said zoo wee mama, Gojo slammed the door open “DID SOMEONE SAY ZOO WEE MAMA?”

Yeah… He will definitely be the death of you.

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁. ݁₊ ⊹ .

[mysterystarz]

black tie losers

geto suguru x f!reader

in which you’re at a charity gala and come to the realization that maybe being best friends with suguru is no longer an option

a/n: when i thought of this i ran to write bc geto in a suit

feedback is so appreciated <3

“stay still. if you keep moving, you’re going to look like a clown.”

geto sits in front of you on a stool, tie messily done up as he holds a lipliner pencil in his hands. he’s grinning at his work — because true to his words, you looked like a clown.

“suguru, you can’t line lips for shit.” you sigh, rummaging through your things to find some makeup remover. “remind me why i let you do this again?”

geto laughs, grinning at you in a way that was oddly wholesome. “because i wanted to help you get ready for tonight. there’s nothing better than taking credit for the date on my arm.”

date indeed—a platonic one.

you and geto were attending your university’s biggest charity gala tonight. as one of the most successful black tie events on campus, each attendee was required to look straight out of vogue magazine to ensure they raised enough money to make a difference.

geto—ever the gentleman—asked you to be his date. he wouldn’t get hounded by the customary droves of girls, and you’d have someone to match with.

of course, being your best friend, he decided to help you get ready.

he watched patiently as you dabbed the streak of lipliner away, smiling gently when you turned back to meet his eyes. he wordlessly moved forward to cup your cheeks, finishing up lining your cupids bow.

“there,” he said softly, “now some lipstick.” you gestured to the various tubes on your desk as you moved to dust some highlighter on your cheeks.

geto picked a particularly lovely shade and smoothly glided it across your lips. he seemed proud at his handiwork, beaming at you happily as soon as he finished.

“take a look,” he smirked, and you did just that. the mirror showed you someone beautiful.

somehow, stupid suguru had actually done a good job.

“nice job,” you mumbled, feeling oddly shy beneath his gaze. he cleaned up nice tonight—a bit too nice. so nice that you weren’t sure how to act around him when he attempted to tie his tie.

“you mean sensational job,” he laughed, flinging his tie around. “also please help. i can’t do this.”

you sighed as you moved closer to fix his tie. you could catch a whiff of his cologne — something fresh and oddly mouthwatering and it nearly made you screw up the final flip of the fabric.

suguru was acting a bit different, and it was driving you crazy. his presence was much closer than usual, and with every passing day, it seemed impossible to ignore the glaringly obvious fact that’d been looming over you for weeks.

geto suguru, your best friend, was an extremely attractive man.

you still weren’t sure how to handle this information. so far, it’d been unwarranted blushes and a whole lot of random butterflies where there shouldn’t be.

you supposed the gala would give you time to think—but you were wrong.

geto walked in through the ornately decorated doors with a smile, an arm threaded through his hair and the other wrapped around your waist. from this point, you could see all your fellow students interacting with the heads of various charities, and donations racking up by the second.

suguru stayed close, his touch firm and steady and searing and confusing in ways you couldn’t understand.

“would you like to explore a bit?” he whispered, his lips brushing your ear.

too flustered to speak, you wordlessly nodded as he dragged you to the photo booth at the edge of the venue.

“these are awesome,” he laughed, holding up a particularly unclassy mustache prop. you cringed, distancing yourself as much as you good within the tiny space to show your disapproval.

suguru pulled you closer again, his hands caressing your waist in a way that was more reverent than anything you’d ever felt. he was too close…it was too much.

he leaned close to you, gently pressing his forehead against yours.

“maybe i did too good of a job tonight,” he said lowly, tracing your lips with his finger.

“suguru,” you breathed out, “what is going on?”

he pulled away grinning. “you had a dusting of highlighter a bit too close to this one spot of your nose. i had to distract you so you wouldn’t stop me from touching your face.”

you groaned in frustration while suguru posed jubilantly for the camera.

the gala was beautiful. the pictures with suguru were super candid. neither of those were your major takeaways.

as you returned to your room for the night, you knew one thing for certain. suguru geto had become someone more than a best friend to you and there was nothing you could do about it.

unknown to you, suguru fell asleep that night dreaming of you, and all the ways he’d kiss you if he had the chance.

[sunrise-imagines]

I love your finn x reader farm world stories you've been writing. They are so good I can't stop reading them, I don't know how to ask this, And I don't know if you're still taking requests but can you write Farm World finn x reader Where the reader is from Ooo, but she looks exactly like farmworld finn' s wife And how would he react. I'm sorry if that's messed up, I like pain.

Ohhhh boy this one will be heartbreaking. Thanks for requesting! Reader uses she/her pronouns in this one

This is an AU in which Reader’s farmworld self replaces Huntress Wizard, love you HW

TW: Angst, mention of illness, mentions of death, hurt and a little comfort,

Farmworld Finn x Reader who’s his wife’s counterpart

• You had agreed to go with Fionna, Cake and Simon to find another crown and make their world magical again.

• After a close run-in with the scarab, you find yourselves in a post apocalyptic city.

• People all around you were giving you surpised looks, which only made you even more uncomfortable in this already hostile environment.

•When Jay first sees you all in the city, he can’t believe his eyes. He’s had this happen before, sometimes seeing someone with a similar hair color to his mother, only to have to remind himself that she’s gone.

•But when you turn around and he sees your face, there’s no mistaking it. It’s you. He doesn’t know how or why, but you’re here again! Tears flow down his cheeks as he struggles to keep quiet and out of sight.

•Once the Destiny gang are gone, Jay looks at you in awe before hurling himself into your arms and hugging you so hard you almost fall over.

• The three of you have to try and explain to him that, although you look like his mother, you’re not actually her, and slowly his smile starts to fade as the realization sets in.

•He agrees to take you to his dad, but is really worried about he will react.

• The five of you make your way to the small farm, where Finn is busying himself chopping logs. He wipes his brow, turning around to scold Jay for staying in the city so long. But then he sees you.

• No. This isn’t real. This is just another one of his dreams. That’s what this is. It’s just a dream. None of this is real. Any moment now he’s going to wake up, shaking in a cold sweat like he has every night for the last 3 years.

• But then you reach out and touch his arm, and he feels the warmth of your hand on his skin. You’re real. You smile awkwardly, a little unsure of what to say, “It’s Finn, right? It’s nice to meet you.”

• For the first time in years, he sheds a tear, and you instinctively you bring your hand to his cheek and wipe it away with your thumb. He brings his hand up to hold yours, feeling your soft hands against his calloused ones.

• “Who are you?” He asks, his voice shaking as if you might dissapear at any moment.

• “This is going to sound crazy, but I’m from another universe, and my friends and I need your help.”

• You try to explain yourselves to him, the fact that there are multiple universes, that you came to save Fionna and Cake’s, and that there is even an alternate version of himself. You decide to gloss over bringing up your own counterpart, having pieced together from Jay’s sadness that her fate was likely an unpleasant subject.

• He brings you all inside, and instantly the kids are all over you, crying and none of you have the heart to tell them the truth, so you play along. None of them care if it didn’t make sense, they were just happy to have their mom back.

• After a tense dinner and discussion about the crown, all of you are made to sleep in the hayloft. But after Fionna and the others have fallen asleep, you sneak out back to the house.

• You find Finn sitting in front of the fireplace, watching the flames as Jake lays next to him. You hesitate, debating just leaving and going to sleep, but his voice breaks the silence first.

• “I know you’re there, leave me be.” He mutters, not looking away from the flickering light. But you don’t leave, instead taking a seat next to him. Jake pads up to you and sits in your lap.

• You stay like that for awhile, the tension so thick you could cut through it, but after a little while you steel yourself and in a soft voice finally ask the question that’s been eating at your mind, “What was she like?”

• He sighs, a deep and tired breath that he’s clearly been holding in for far too long.

• Finn tells you everything, how the two of them met not long after the crown was destroyed, how she was the only one who accepting him despite his past as the Snowman. How the two fell in love, her kindness slowly melting the icy walls around his heart. How they built this house together, and not long after moving in their first son was born. How eventually their tiny family kept growing, only getting happier with each new addition. How a couple years after Bonnie was born, she started to developed a cough, and at the time she brushed it off as nothing a little rest couldn’t fix. But she kept getting worse, eventually becoming bedridden and barely able to move. How the doctors pulled him aside and told him that her prognosis wasn’t good, and while he tried to hide it from her, she already knew her time was coming. How the kids would bring her flowers and help feed her, and how she kept smiling and laughing no matter how bad the pain got. Then one day, she took his hand in hers, telling him how much she loved him and their family, and how grateful she was to have been able to be with him, if only for a little while. And then she was gone, and his world changed forever.

• After he’s done, you’re left speechless. There’s nothing you can do or say to take away the pain he’s feeling, and your presence is no doubt exacerbating it. You feel tears well up and you try to think of what you can do.

• In the end, you just put your head on his shoulder, speaking so quietly it’s almost a whisper, “I’m sorry I’m not her.”

[sc0tters]

Enough is Enough | Sidney Crosby

summary: when you push Sidney to his limits, he decides to teach you a lesson.

trope: dads friend

request: yes/no

warnings: sexual scenes, p in v, oral (m receiving!), legal age gap (reader is in college!), degradation, fingering, swearing.

word count: 2.49k

authors note: I’m gonna start this off with saying that the reader x dad friend trope is not one that everyone will like so if you don’t, don’t read it! oh and @hischierhaze should seriously like never leave me unattended ever again, cause this was a lot. To find the rest of the cellly you can see the masterlist here!

This was meant to be the summer of rehabilitation for you.

Your dad wanted you to recover after a year at university that almost landed you in jail on more than one occasion. As he was at his wits end with you lashing out.

Sidney was meant to be someone who could talk some sense into you, but as he stayed up waiting for a fourth night in a row for you to return with not even a word or a heads up to where you were. He realised he was on the end of a losing battle.

Before he’d just remind you to tell him about where you went but tonight as his anger mixed with the whiskey on his tongue Sidney saw your shorts and crop top and it caused him to lose it “where have you been kid?” He asked turning on the light in the living room as you looked like a deer in headlights “out Sid.” It was the same answer you gave him each time “some of the guys wanted to go get drinks.” You explained with a shrug moving to push past him.

Sidney stopped you as he wrapped his hand around your arm “we aren’t done here y/n.” The hockey player shook his head as he looked down at you “you either tell me where you are going or you don’t go out at all.” His voice was strict reminding you about his angry side.

Yet instead you found it amusing as you laughed “you gonna ground me or something?” You smiled rolling your eyes causing his grip around your arm to tighten “really should when you act and dress like this.” His free hands fingers dragged over the end of your shirt.

It made you frown “like what Sid?” You pressed his buttons as you pulled away from him “see you thought of something so say it.” Your arms crossed as you tilted your hips to the side.

Sidney pushed his hand through his hair as his nostrils flared “god you are such a wimp.” You spat shaking your head as he stood in silence watching as you walked to the stairs “you’re acting like a slut okay!” Sidney groaned honestly deciding that you were the reason why he decided not to have kids.

As you both soaked in the reality of what he had said “y/n wa-” Sidney tried to get himself out of the hole he had fallen into you were too fast running up the stairs to then shut your bedroom door with a slam “I’ll show him what a fucking slut is.” You mumbled looking at yourself in the mirror one last time with a smirk on your face.

Over the next few days that was exactly what you did. Sidney knew you were doing it to get under his skin as he watched your outfits grow tighter and shorter as your behaviour grew more present. You were now flirting with guys in front of his face, from the man in the grocery store to the neighbours son. What killed him was how he was forced to bite his tongue.

But when you eventually walked out of your room in this yellow bikini and nothing more than a baseball jersey that you left unbuttoned. Sidney didn’t think he had much more that he could take until he realised an important factor, that bikini top didn’t have cups. So as you walked into the kitchen after tanning outside Sidney knew he had to take defeat “so could you?” You asked waiting for his answer.

Sidney felt his cheeks turn warm as he shook his head “can you repeat that f’me?” He asked realising that he had missed what you said “asked if you could put some sun screen on my back before I go back out?” You repeated yourself as you sucked at the popsicle between your lips.

He nodded looking away as his pants strangely grew tight “y-yeah sure.” Sidney stammered as the first place he looked ended up being your breasts causing you to smirk “they look good in this one don’t they?” You brought your hands brush down your waist.

It made Sidney cough “I saw you staring at them, there’s no need to be ashamed.” You cooed stepping closer to him “we shouldn’t.” His voice was coarse as he tried to step away from you.

But the hockey player stood against the counter now trapped “all I’m saying is that you do what you want and touch them.” You used your fingers to trace over your nipples that were clear under your top “they are just begging for you.” You knew you were playing with fire as your teeth caught your lower lip between them.

Sidney felt himself grunt “my dad said he wanted you to help me out after all.” Your voice was soft as you used your fathers words “you’re gonna get me into so much fucking trouble.” The hockey player groaned nervously lifting his hand “there you go.” You cooed as you helped bring his hand to cup the one side of your bikini.

He loved feeling how his large hand was able to fit your entire breast in it “fuck baby.” The hockey player watched his thumb drag over the aching nub “need more Sid.” You whined placing your hand on top of his.

The hockey player nodded sucking at his teeth “what would your dad say if he saw you begging like this?” It stroked his ego as he brought his other hand up to repeat his actions on your other nipple as well “happy I’m not in trouble.” You found the situation amusing as you smiled “oh but you are baby.” Before you could question what Sidney meant he spun you around and pressed your chest against the kitchen counter.

It made you gasp as his hand kept your torso from pushing up “you think you could get away wearing this?” The hockey player used his opposite hand to hook under the waistband of the panties letting it snap against your skin “answer the question.” He snapped making you whimper “no Sid.” You shook your head struggling to think of where you could put your hands as Sidney moved to stand behind you.

He loved his angle seeing how vulnerable you were in front of him “wanted to piss you off.” You explained in a soft tone trying to stop him from hearing you “and you still think I should make you feel good?” Sidney laughed at your naivety “I can be good!” You nodded excitedly as you agreed “we will see about that.” Sidney mumbled sucking at the lobe of your ear.

It should have made you hang your head in shame how you pushed your ass against his crotch “the last few days have been hell.” He grunted squeezing the skin of your ass before he slapped it “what are you gonna do about it?” You gasped feeling him massage the previously abused skin.

Sidney felt his cock grow even harder as he pulled you back up so you could look at him “gonna finally shut this mouth up.” His hand pushed you to the ground as you dropped to your knees.

Your mouth watered as you watched him undo the strings of his shorts before he hooked his fingers into the waist pushing them to the ground to reveal his cock that stretched out the front of his boxers “look at you all excited.” The hockey player smirked as he watched you bring your hands up to trace your fingers around his boner “don’t tease me baby or else I’ll leave you looking all desperate on the floor.” His words made you whimper as you finally did what he wanted and revealed his cock as his boxers follow the same way his shorts did to the floor.

You knew Sidney would have been big but as you licked the swollen tip of his cock you began to wonder if you could take all of him “thin ice y/n.” His voice grew angry as he stared you down. It made you nice as you wrapped your lips around his cock forcing as much of his length into your mouth.

Sidney groaned feeling your tongue against the bottom of his cock “your mouth is so good.” He muttered watching your head begin to bob “you’re taking me to so well.” The boy cooed bringing his hands to your hair making a makeshift ponytail.

It helped him guide your movements forcing you to take more of him “fuck.” Sidney whined as you swirled his cock in your mouth and your throat constricted around the tip of his cock as you took all of him.

He felt his eyes roll back as you gagged “Sid,” your voice was muffled as your fingers slid down your stomach and into your bikini bottoms so you could tease your clit.

As Sidney began fucking your throat he felt himself grow dazed “looking so pretty down there.” The boy dragged his fingers through your hair to your cheek as you looked up at him through your lashes “finally being a good girl f’me.” Just as the hockey player said that you mewled at the feeling of your fingers against your clit.

It made Sidney think you craved praise but instead when he saw your body shifting over nothing it made him pull you up by your chin “you really are a naughty girl.” The hockey player sighed shaking his head as he pressed his hand against your slick bottoms.

Before you could attempt to apologise Sidney kissed your lips as he picked you up finally setting you onto the counter as you looked at him. It felt suffocating as his tongue slid into your mouth not caring as he could taste some of his salty precum on your tongue “gonna fuck you like the slut that you are.” His hand lay a smack to your ass causing you to jump as you nodded.

Anticipation filled your veins as he peppered kisses down your neck whilst he undid the strings on your bottoms “up.” He offered causing you to force your hips upward so he could move your bottoms away.

His cock stood dangerously close to your cunt as he pulled you to the edge of the counter “you want this baby?” Sidney asked using the tip to tease your clit “fuck yes.” You nodded as he finally decided that teasing you was now too much for him.

You gasped as Sidney bottomed you out, not taking the time to let you adjust “god.” You groaned as your eyes screwed shut “it’s just me y/n.” The hockey player placed his hands on your hips as your legs locked around his waist.

Feeling nice Sidney stopped giving you the moment to let your cunt stretch around his cock “need you to move.” You forced the words out as you tapped his side now feeling him bottom you out “knew this cunt would be just as good as your mouth.” The hockey player kissed your lips as he caught your lower lip between his teeth eating a whine from you.

His thrusts began to quicken as he craved the sound of your moans “all yours.” You moaned pecking his lips “you realised being a slut ain’t no fun now?” Sidney laughed as you cupped your breasts trying to bring yourself more pleasure.

You fidgeted at the bikini material as he shook his head “slut f’you.” You whined as his hands replaced yours “let’s get this off.” Sidney grew irritated as he eventually ended up ripping the fabric apart “Sid!” You scoffed seeing your top now sat in two pieces.

His nose brushed over yours “I’ll buy you a hundred pairs more if you’ll let me rip them like that.” The kitchen felt hot as the windows were open meaning that anyone who walked past would have heard the acts that were going on in there. But somehow that made you feel so powerful “can rip ‘em all.” You nodded tugging your fingers through his curls when he lowered his lips to your nipples.

Sidney swirled his tongue around your sensitive buds making you clench around his cock “you liking this baby?” He locked his eyes with yours as his teeth grazed your nipple when your phone began to ring from the side of the counter.

It made you look with wide eyes “i-it’s my dad.” You croaked making his cock throb “answer it doll.” Sidney used every pet name in his arsenal as you remained frozen “answer or I stop.” His warning was enough to make you reach over to grab your phone.

On the other side you hear your dad breathing as you answered “hey princess how are you?” The cheeriness in his voice made you feel sick as you gripped at your phone “I’m good daddy.” The last word was moaned followed by a cough as you tried to cover yourself up.

Sidney smirked moving his lips from your nipple to your neck “look what do you want?” You complained tightening your legs around Sidney’s waist “just checking in, is Sid keeping you busy?” The hockey player let out a soft laugh as he heard the words “yeah gotta go!” You were quick to hang up as Sidney placed his fingers against your clit.

It didn’t take you long until you arched your back against the counter “you close?” Sidney asked pecking your lips “so close.” You nodded biting your lip as you went quiet “if you want to come you’re going to have to apologise.” The hockey player warned making you nod.

Skin slapping echoed through your mind “didn’t mean to be a bad girl Sid.” You cried as your skin felt hot even with the marble beneath you “promise to be your good girl forever.” The claim was bold but in that moment you planned on keeping your side of it “let me ruin this pussy for all of those college kids back home.” You moaned at his possessive tone.

All you could do was nod “it’s all yours Sid.” That sent him over the edge “milk my cock baby when you fucking come.” His order made you gasp in pleasure.

Your legs shook as incoherent whines came from your lips as you come “fuck!” You cried as you felt Sidney come shortly after you did.

His hand pressed against the counter next to you to make sure that he didn’t collapse “there you go pretty girl.” As the hockey player let his cock slide out of your soaked cunt it was quickly replaced with his fingers that pushed both of your releases back into your core “surely you didn’t think I’d let you misbehave that easily now did you?” Sidney had a devilish smirk as he began to finger you.

You were in for a long day.

[muzaktomyears]

In 1980 Peter Brown, a former assistant to Brian Epstein who later ran Apple Corps, managed the Beatles and was best man at John Lennon and Yoko Ono’s wedding, started work on the definitive account of the Beatles. With the American author Steven Gaines, he spoke to the three surviving band members alongside wives, girlfriends, managers, friends, hangers-on and everyone else in the Fabs’ universe. The book promised to be the last word in Beatles history. Then in 1983 The Love You Make was published, and all hell broke loose.

“They were furious,” recalls Gaines, 78, still sounding pained at the memory. “Paul and Linda tore the book apart and burned it in the fireplace, page by page. There was an omerta, a code of silence around the Beatles, and they didn’t think anyone would come forward to tell the truth. But Queenie, Brian Epstein’s mother, told us above all else to be honest.”

“Even she didn’t think we would be quite so honest,” adds Brown, 87, his upper-crust English tones still in place after five decades in New York.

Why did The Love You Make, retitled by Beatles fans as The Muck You Rake, incite such strong feelings? The suggestion of an affair between Lennon and Epstein on a holiday to Barcelona in April 1963, only three weeks after the birth of Lennon’s son Julian, had something to do with it, but more significantly it was taken as a betrayal by a trusted insider. Brown and Gaines locked the recordings in a bank vault and never looked at them again — until now.

“Very good question,” Brown says, when I ask why he and Gaines have decided to publish All You Need Is Love, an oral history made up of the interview transcripts from which The Love You Make was drawn. He is speaking from the Manhattan apartment on Central Park West where he has lived since 1971. “When [Peter Jackson’s documentary] Get Back came out, a journalist from The New York Times wanted me to talk. I told him I hadn’t talked about the Beatles since the book was published and suggested he go to someone else. He said, ‘There isn’t anyone else. Paul, Ringo and you are the only ones left.’ And I thought, do I have a responsibility to clear it all up, once and for all?”

After the death of Epstein in 1967, Brown assumed the day-to-day responsibilities of managing the Beatles and Apple Corps. He had on his desk a red telephone whose number was known only to the four Beatles. Unsurprisingly, given his insider status, the interviews make for fascinating reading. Paul McCartney, yet to be asked the same questions about the Beatles thousands of times over, is remarkably unguarded. Asked by Gaines if the other Beatles were anti-Linda, he replies: “I should think so. Like we were anti-Yoko.” On the image the Fabs had for being good boys on tour, he says, “You are kidding,” before going on to reference a notorious incident involving members of Led Zeppelin, a groupie and a mud shark, concluding: “No, not in the least bit celibate. We just didn’t do it with fish.”

Ono, speaking in the spring of 1981, not long after Lennon was killed in December 1980, reveals that she didn’t sleep with Lennon for the first two years of their relationship — “John didn’t know how to make a move” — and claims that she was blamed by the Beatles camp, George Harrison in particular, for getting Lennon onto heroin in 1969. “Everything we did in those days, anything that was wrong, was my responsibility,” she tells Gaines. But everyone, from the Beatles’ notorious late-period manager Allen Klein to the Greek electronics wizard/hustler “Magic” Alex Mardas — “the Mordred of the Beatles’ Camelot” according to Brown — has their own version of events.

Going through the transcripts reminded Gaines of the long shadow cast by Lennon. “I didn’t realise how sensitive the other Beatles were to John’s opinion,” he says, speaking from his home in the Hamptons, Long Island. “Paul worried about what John would say [in the event Lennon died before being interviewed] and was still longing for his friendship. George said that John didn’t read his autobiography because it was called I, Me, Mine. Those interviews were done before John’s death and Paul’s heart was broken, even then. It wasn’t just the break-up of the Beatles. It was more personal than that.”

From around 1968, the transcripts reveal how the key Beatles duo started to come apart. McCartney’s enthusiasm was only getting stronger. But Lennon grew increasingly bored and disillusioned. “You have to remember that John wasn’t in love with his wife Cynthia,” Gaines says by way of explanation. “He wanted to get away from the life he was leading and that’s why he started to experiment with drugs, all the way up to heroin.”

Brown says Ono was, and probably still is, a distant, mysterious character, exactly the kind of person Lennon was looking for, having done the right thing and married the sensible, quiet Cynthia after she discovered she was pregnant with Julian in 1963. “John told me about meeting this woman, and how frustrated he was that he couldn’t get to know her better; he couldn’t take her to lunch because it would cause gossip. I gave him the key to my apartment so he and Yoko could be together in private and thought, naturally, they were going there to f***. When I went home that evening, the apartment was untouched. They did nothing more than sit on the sofa and talk. That’s what they wanted: to know each other.”

Regarding the long-held, unfair suggestion that Ono broke up the Beatles, Gaines says: “Yoko came along at the right moment to light the fuse, but the dynamite was already packed. They resented her, she was difficult to understand and had a deep effect on John, but they were getting more and more unhappy with each other and needed to have their own lives. As people in the interviews say again and again, [the split] was bound to happen.”

It was Brown who in May 1968 introduced McCartney to Linda Eastman, an ambitious young American photographer whom he knew from his business trips to New York, when she came to London on an assignment to shoot the Rolling Stones. “I was having dinner with Paul at the Bag O’ Nails [a club in Soho] when she turned up, so I introduced them and he was obviously taken with her,” Brown recalls. “The following Friday, May 19, we were holding a party for 12 top photographers at Brian Epstein’s house in London when she walked in. Paul says I didn’t introduce him to his wife … but I did.”

If the book has a villain it is Klein, the New York accountant who took over management of the Beatles and sacked everyone around them, much to McCartney’s horror. As Brown puts it: “He was a hideous person. He even looked like a crook: sloppy and fat, always wearing sneakers and sweatshirts. Everything he didn’t like was ‘for shit’.���

You wonder why Lennon fell for him. “The interviews suggest it is because Allen Klein offered Yoko a million dollars for her movie project,” Gaines says. “She was enticed and John would do anything Yoko said.”

“I asked Mick Jagger to come over and explain to the four Beatles who this Allen Klein was,” Brown remembers. “And John, in his wonderful way, had Klein turn up to the same meeting, which was deeply embarrassing. It made Mick very uncomfortable too.”

Epstein, the man who saw the Beatles’ potential in the first place, is a central figure in All You Need Is Love. It includes a transcript of a recording of him from 1966, not used for the original book. It was in the possession of Epstein’s attorney Nat Weiss, and seemingly made by Epstein to mark the end of the Beatles’ final tour. He claims not only that Lennon felt remorse for the infamous comment on the Beatles being bigger than Jesus — “What upset John more than anything else was that hundreds of people were hurt by that” — but that the Beatles would tour once more. “There’s no reason why they shouldn’t appear in public again,” Epstein claims. They never did, unless you count that rooftop performance on January 30, 1969.

“Brian was driving them around the north of England in his car for a year,” Brown remembers of the early days. “This Jewish guy from Liverpool, who was gay, was with these guys who had been hanging around in Hamburg, so both had interesting backgrounds. They understood each other.”

For Gaines, a self-described “gay Jewish boy from Brooklyn”, Epstein is at the heart of the story. “Brian never felt the love of a real relationship. Then he found the Beatles. Everyone thought it would be just another of his phases, but he had tremendous feelings for John, both sexual and intellectual, and that’s what really pushed him. If there was one thing that started the whole thing off, it was Brian’s love for John Lennon.”

That love affair was the contentious issue of the original book. In his interview, McCartney says of Lennon going to Spain with Epstein: “What was John doing, manipulating this manager of ours? Sucking up to him, going on holiday, becoming his special friend.” It wasn’t the suggestion of a homosexual relationship that was troubling McCartney, but the balance of power tilting in Lennon’s direction.

“Paul wanted to be in charge, and he deserved to be because he was the motor, the driving force,” Gaines says. “Paul felt that John would steal away the power. He felt threatened by John’s relationship with Brian.”

“Paul always wanted to be active,” Brown adds. “After Brian’s death the world had to be carried on. Who was going to do that? It wasn’t going to be John, George or Ringo. Brian was my best friend and I was very upset [at his death]. I had to go to the court to convince the magistrate that it wasn’t a suicide, and the following day Paul set up a meeting so we could discuss what we would do next. I said we’d do it next week, and he said, ‘No, it has to be now.’ He was right.”

How did Brown and Gaines feel about the horrified reaction to the book, not just from fans but the Beatles themselves? “The world has changed,” Gaines says, by way of answer. “Now, after all these years, hopefully people can see it as a truthful, loving and gentle book.” It has been decades since Brown spoke to the surviving Beatles and he has not contacted them about this new publication.

What the interviews really capture in eye-opening detail is the story of four young men who became a phenomenon, then had to deal with the fallout as the dream ended. On December 31, 1970, the day McCartney sued the other three to dissolve the partnership, Brown handed in his resignation as the Beatles’ day-to-day manager and officer of Apple Corps. Ringo Starr said to him: “You didn’t want to be a nursemaid any more, and half the time the babies wouldn’t listen to you anyway.” Brown moved to New York and became chief executive officer of the Robert Stigwood Organisation. But the Beatles never fully left him, and in the wake of Get Back — and the news that Sam Mendes is to direct four biopics, one on each Beatle — he decided he had one last job.

“We have finished our responsibilities,” Brown says with quiet authority. “It is the end of the story.”

EXTRACTS

‘It’s like bloody Julius Caesar, and I’m being stabbed in the back!’

Paul McCartney on the Beatles signing Allen Klein as manager against his wishes

[John Lennon] said, “I’m going with [Allen] Klein, what do you want to do about it?” and I kind of said, “I don’t think I will, that’s my roll.” Then George and Ringo said, “Yeah, we’ll go with John.” Which was their roll. But that was pretty much how it always ended up, the three of them wanted to do stuff, and I was always the fly in the ointment, I was always the one dragging his heels. John used to accuse me of stalling. In fact, there was one classic little meeting when we were recording Abbey Road. It was a Friday evening session, and I was sitting there, and I’d heard a rumour from Neil [Aspinall, road manager] or someone that there was something funny going around. So we got to the session, and Klein came in. To me, he was like a sort of demon that would always haunt my dreams. He got to me. Really, it was like I’d been dreaming of him as a dentist. Anyway, so at this meeting, everyone said, “You’re going to stall for ever now, we know you, you don’t even want to do it on Monday.” And I said, “Well, so what? It’s not a big deal, it’s our prerogative and it could wait a few more days.” They said, “Oh no, typical of you, all that stalling and what. Got to do it now.” I said, “Well, I’m not going to. I demand at least the weekend. I’ll look at it, and on Monday. This is supposed to be a recording session, after all.” I dug me heels in, and they said, “Right, well, we’re going to vote it.” I said, “No, you’ll never get Ringo to.” I looked at Ringo, and he kind of gave me this sick look like, yeah, I’m going with them. Then I said, “Well, this is like bloody Julius Caesar, and I’m being stabbed in the back!”

‘You don’t like to see a chick in the middle of the team’

Paul McCartney on Yoko Ono

Give Yoko a lot . . . that was basically what John and Yoko wanted, recognition for Yoko. We found her sitting on our amps, and like a football team, an all-male thing, you really don’t like to see a chick in the middle of the team. It’s a disturbing thing, they think it throws them off the game or whatever it was, and these were the reasons that I thought, well, this is crazy, we’re gonna have Yoko in the group next. Looking at it now, I feel a bit sorry for her because, if only I had been able to understand what the situation was and think, wait a minute, here’s a girl who’s not had enough attention. I can now not make this into a major crisis and just sort of say, “Sure, what harm is she doing on the amps?” I know they would have really loved me. You know, we didn’t like Yoko at first, and people did call her ugly and stuff, and that must be hard for someone who loves someone and is so passionately in love with them, but I still can’t — I’m still trying to see his point of view. What was the point of all that? They’re very suspicious people [Lennon and Ono], and one of the things that hurt me out of the whole affair, was that we’d come all that way together, and out of either a fault in my character, or out of lack of understanding in their character, I’d still never managed to impress upon them that I wasn’t trying to screw them. I don’t think that I have to this day.

How Cynthia Lennon was driven to drink — at an ashram

Alexis ‘Magic Alex’ Mardas on Ono’s love letters to Lennon

Alexis Mardas was also known as Magic Alex, a name John bestowed on him because he was so taken with Alex’s inventions. Alex was handsome, charming, and a charlatan. (He sued The [New York] Times in Britain for calling him a charlatan and settled out of court. He’s dead now.)

[The Maharishi] was fooling around with several American girls. The Maharishi was making all of us eat vegetarian food, very poorly cooked, but he was eating chicken. No alcohol was allowed in the camp. I had to smuggle alcohol in because Cynthia wanted to drink. Cynthia was very depressed. John was receiving letters from Yoko Ono. Yoko was planning to win John. She was writing very poetic and very romantic letters. I remember those letters because John was coming to me with the letters, and Yoko was saying to John that “I’m a cloud in the sky, and, when you read this letter, turn your head and look in the sky, and if you see a small cloud, this is Yoko. Away from you but watching you.” Poor Cynthia was prepared to do absolutely everything to win John. She was not even allowed to visit the house where John was staying. She was longing for a drink. Now, drinks, they were strictly prohibited in the ashram, but when it was discovered that Maharishi had a drink, I said, “Just a second, at least equal.”

‘He’s become so nasty’

George Harrison on reaching out to John Lennon

What’s wrong with John, he’s become so nasty. It sounds like he hasn’t moved an inch from where he was five or six years ago. I sent Ringo, John, and Paul all a copy of my book. I got a call from Paul. He called me up just to say how much he liked it. I shouldn’t have called it I Me Mine, because that title was a bit much. I sent a copy to John. I’m wondering if he’s actually received it, if he’s received it, he probably doesn’t like it or something offends him about it.

‘I told John that ... it was just a nice feeling’

Yoko Ono advising John Lennon how to take heroin

George said I put John on H, and it wasn’t true at all. I mean, John wouldn’t take anything unless he wanted to do it. When I went to Paris [before I met John], I just had a sniff of it and it was a beautiful feeling. Because the amount was small, I didn’t even get sick. It was just a nice feeling. So I told John that. When you take it properly — properly is not the right word — but when you really snort it, then you get sick right away if you’re not used to it. So I think maybe because I said it wasn’t a bad experience, maybe that had something to do with it, I don’t know. But I mean so, he kept saying, “Tell me how it was?” Why was he asking? That was sort of a preliminary because he wanted to take it, that’s why he was asking. And that’s how we did it. We never injected. Never.

‘It was time’

Ringo Starr on the end of the Beatles

Ringo Starr: Well, I’m pleased it happened because in so many ways, I’m glad it’s not going now. It was time. Things last only so long. Steven Gaines: The Rolling Stones are [still] going. Ringo Starr: Yeah, but they’re old men.

(source)

[kanmom51]

Missing Jikook today

Not that I don't miss them every single day, but just saying...

@wonsummernight Miss your edits!!!!!! I know there isn't any new Jikook content just yet, but if there was a time we were in dire need for some heart wrenching Jikook edits, this is it!!!

Basically, this is me telling you "PLEASE COME BACK". 💜💜

So, I came today to cry a little, you know commiserating together with others takes the edge off a bit (note to self: keep telling yourself that, and you might start believing it too...), but also to remind y'all that SM is crap, a viper pit, a cec pool, where all the miserably unhappy ignorant assholes tend to flock to (this is about the assholes that have turned sm into such a place), either to create drama that will get them some much needed attention they aren't getting elsewhere, or to create a parallel universe where their dreams and wants come true, even if they have zero standing in reality. Oh, and I forgot those that are there to make some hard cash, by all means.

And why am I mentioning all of this, you may ask?

Well, because for some reason my hopes and dreams for a fandom cleanse are being shattered as we speak.

As you may already know, I've taken a step back lately. mainly distancing myself from SM, as it's been going downhill for ages now, but has become an even uglier place to visit in the past few months, I'd say ever since it's been known that JK and JM are enlisting TOGETHER and will be serving TOGETHER, basically being in each other's close vicinity 24/7 for 18 months (even if not sharing exact same duties within the unit) and spending off time together . And to clarify once again: Same unit, same posting (base), different duties within the unit.

You'd think that 3 months in, and after the initial shock, reality and truth would set in (even with the most delusional) that these two young men CHOSE to enlist together (free choice and steps taken by both of them to achieve this). And once again me reminding they are the only ones in the group to decide they want to do this and the only idols to ever do so.

But no. Who am I kidding? Probably wishful thinking on my part. You know, that these people will either wake up, smell the roses and just cope with reality, or plain and simply piss off (that's probably me being delusional at this point).

Point being, it's gotten even worse. Like who would have believed that would happen? Yeah, probably should have seen it coming though. When you have cult behavior, when you have those that profit off it (monetarily or otherwise), I should have known it would go this way. The need to dive even deeper into the filth of this earth, to create even dumber narratives, to, of course, spew even more hate towards either of them (depending what delusional team you are on).

Should have seen it all coming.

Sadly, instead of just leaving, tail between their legs, they are doubling down on their utterly delusional beliefs regarding these young men. Not without pain, I may add. Pain, that a small part of me, someone that tries very hard to be nice and good and positive, is now relishing (I lie... not that mall of a part after all). Their twists and turns, their made up shit to compensate for whatever shit JK, JM or Tae are throwing their way... kind of priceless. I mean, if they aren't going anywhere, should we not at least enjoy their demise?

Does that make me a bad person?

Honestly, I don't think so.

And Jikook being away from most of this, lighting the fire and walking away leaving their haters behind to burn, was a nice touch.

Now we just sit here silently wait for our little travel show...

💜💜

[starberry-cupcake]

I'm back! Thank you kindly for your patience, we're done with Act III! It was probably a terrible idea to wait because this is so long, I'm so sorry.

previously, in harrowhark! a vagrant the ninth:

this happened

also a couple previews that will show up in this but are in the tag

currently, chapters 24-31 (END OF ACT III!!!):

harrow wakes up after sleeping a sensible amount of hours in yandere twin's room

yandere twin, who's into chomping cavaliers, complains about having had some harrow soup

they have a sort of tender moment, I guess

they have a complicated dynamic

harrow falls asleep again

she's in the bed and yandere twin is sleeping on the floor

and harrow is woken by the sound of self inflicted pain and torture

harrow gets tired of this and decides to just rip yandere twin's arm off

@lady-harrowhark reminded me that I called this (!!!) in this recap

I had absolutely 100000% forgot I said that but congrats past me!!!

so, there's this scene in which harrow rips yandere twin's arm off and puts a new bone-y one in there, remade with her own parts

like this

some people have told me in the replies that it's a sessual sort of scene, and I get that, I suppose it was the vibe it was going for

total respect to that

but I'm gonna be honest here

it felt like I was witnessing a birth and harrow was the midwife

so harrow lets yandere twin know that she's been improving her necro powers via studying and practicing to try to make up for her being "lyctor lite"

harrow and alleged gideon aka ortus are the only people here that seem to be getting any work done tbh

so now, with the new arm, inner chad can use the sword again

and yandere twin is happy because she's now a proper lyctor and has senior chad aka augustine's approval

harrow is proud of herself for doing nice necro things like chopping and reconstructing arms

as a thanks, yandere twin agrees to help harrow to kill alleged gideon the first aka ortus

nobody asked you, but ok

I actually have no qualms with alleged gideon aka ortus

because he's at least direct and honest about it

everyone here has an agenda, at least this guy's like directly trying to physically kill harrow

at this point, I respect the direct approach

augustine and emperor reverend professor john can go fu—

WELL, ACTUALLY, WE'LL GET THERE LATER

CHAPTER 28

we're back at gideon-less canaan house

canaan house isn't safe in any universe, all the trails lead to death

everyone who's alive or accounted for is having a sleepover

there's a bunch of people unaccounted for, actually

the kiddos from the fourth are allegedly hidden elsewhere

who knows, at this point

I don't trust anyone

there's a fog and rain and water rising still

which reminds me of the movie identity, in which they all were trapped in that motel because it wasn't actually a motel and they weren't actually alive per-se

magnus and abby say that protozoa should have decked mayonnaise uncle

which is one of the reasons why the gideon universe is superior

aside from the presence of gideon and camilla

I miss them so much I'm gonna start biting cavaliers

anyway, where in the hell is duracell bunny nephew???

he wasn't with mayonnaise uncle when he yeeted himself

his soul, which got detached from his body in the gideon universe, is still flying like a balloon across universes and dimensions, I guess

abby didn't expect regina george twin to die, apparently, and says "if she's gone, then perhaps that means..." but doesn't elaborate

nobody ever elaborates

abby also makes harrowbean read another one of the "harrow texts"

I can't keep adding them all together in recaps because this will end up being super long but here goes the new one

"I will remember the first time you kissed me —you apologized— you said, I am sorry, destroy me as I am, but I want to kiss you before I am killed, and I said to you why, and you said, because I have only once met someone so utterly willing to burn for what they believed in, and I loved him on sight, and the first time I died I asked of him what I now ask of you. I kissed you and later I would kiss him too before I understood what you were, and all three of us lived to regret it—but when I am in heaven I will remember your mouth, and when you roast down in hell I think you will remember mine"

so yeah, we've got a triangular situation, I suppose

I need to put all of them together to continue to draw connections

my though was that this could be ice cube barbie aka annabel lee, because of the long-lost sun, but I'm unsure still

I don't think the timing fits the other side of the 3d model that's the gideon's mom and rebel leader situation

inconclusive still

abby suggests harrowbean she might be haunted

which might also fit with ice cube barbie??? maybe??? idk

CHAPTER 29

harrow says she doesn't remember shit about chad

get perpetually owned, chad

mercygirl asks harrow things about her necro process for the arm reconstructing and the last thing she asks is "what is the name of the saint of duty?" to which harrow says "ortus the first" and mercygirl goes

me and my "alleged gideon" theory are very happy about this

the hill I will die on

mercygirl continues to use onomatopoeias to express herself

I do not want to think about what that would imply in a later situation I don't want to dig into

"you read unholy omens in the way people say good morning" that's what these recaps are, thank you very much harrow

that's our tagline over here, that's our brand

"how you loathed any sentence beginning with augustine says" SAME, BESTIE

I HATE THAT MAN

he can go fu— ANYWAY

harrow and yandere twin are having sleepovers so that harrow isn't murdered in her sleep

apparently the nudes are cyrus and his cavalier and yandere twin likes that energy

they gifted them to others as souvenirs too

it's like if you had a university classmate who sent nudes to the groupchat every birthday

yandere twin says augustine the asshole has agreed to help kill alleged gideon aka ortus the first

I don't trust any of these lyctors if they're willing to kill each other this easily

how do I know they've got my back in combat if they don't have each other's backs—

I CAN'T EVEN ARTICULATE MY THOUGHTS AND NOT SOUND TERRIBLE NOW THAT I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS LATER IN THE PARTY

ANYWAY

yandere twin reminisces about not having been apart from regina george twin much in their lives and hoping she's sleeping well wherever she is

I also don't know where she is

yandere twin tells harrow that she was more farsighted than her

which I'm sure she was, but she doesn't seem to remember shit about it, and the letters remain unopened

harrow thinks it's kinda gross that the cyrus lyctor murdered his cavalier to become a lyctor and then took all of their nudes to the emperor's bolthole

none of these lyctors are operating from a place of common sense, harrow

"you were lucky that the memory of your own cavalier did not hurt you—except sometimes in the form of a sick headache in your temples, or in words stuck on repeat in your head"

so, augustine's plan involves dinner

harrow, hearing that, is like this

they look for clothes in the cavalier's things

yandere twin says "valancy trinit was my height, weighed more than both of us put together, and —judging by her portraits— had a body that did not quit"

I sure hope she's a thick girl, because I've had enough disappointment with the gideon cover not letting her have the arms she deserves

I hope valancy trinit looks kinda like this

ANYWAY, here's the makeover vibes, as previously shared

apparently chad could embroider, which I have to admit is a good quality

hate giving him any props, but I must be fair

harrow painted the less cute skull in her repertoire and we respect that

they went to augustine's room and he's still an asshat

I don't like how he treats yandere twin tbh

I feel like yandere twin has a thing with validation because of how her life has been and he uses that

augustine justifies his betrayal to his fellow lyctor saying that he "caused more pain over these last scant forty years than I dare to admit"

mercygirl is also here for the party, all dressed up

SO HERE'S THE THING

I am so embarrassed I didn't pick it up on the fly and it took me the whole chapter to put it together

augustine tells her "dios apate, minor"

at the time, I didn't remember what it meant, and when I finished reading the thing, I was like "oh, it's exactly like the deception of zeus"

I forgot that's what it was called

I mean, I got the "dios" part, obviously, but forgot the "apate"

my ancient greek professor is going to come back into my life to shoot me at my doorstep

to be fair to myself, it was a long while ago that I took ancient greek

AT LEAST I PICKED THE REFERENCE UP AFTER, OK????

god, I'm so embarrassed

palmolive, I'm so sorry, I promise I figured it out eventually

mercygirl punches augustine in the face, which is great

he insists on it being "minor", which idk where the line is there and I'm not gonna ask

idk which things are or aren't...involved in a minor form of zeus's deception

mercygirl says she's not wearing the right dress, I don't think it matters, it worked just fine

CHAPTER 30

everyone gets drunk except for alleged gideon aka ortus and harrow, because they're the only people in this group project who are doing the work

augustine and mercygirl start fighting about something their cavaliers did back in the day

they start toasting for cavaliers and talking about how "hot pyrrha was"

there is no respect for the dead in the emperor's bolthole

there's about to be something else in the emperor's bolthole in a minute though

I was excited about them drinking, though, because that's when people start spilling some truths

the lost commander of BOE is a "she", her name is/was Commander Wake, she almost killed alleged gideon aka ortus

I'm still spinning with the gideon's mom theory

and the background telenovela I've got going on

BOE found a Herald, killed it and turned it into weapons against these clowns

good for them, tbh, kill these drunk irresponsible bastards

emperor reverend professor doctor john thinks it's narcissistic of him to toast to himself

I want to murder him in cold blood

I hate this man so viscerally I want to rip him apart with my hands

the twist in this book is that I'm gonna reach to his murder and it's gonna be me

it's like bastian reading the neverending story but it's me killing this man

his full name is john gaius but I had been spoiled of his name by people not tagging their posts

he also does a "your mama" joke because he's my villain origin story

"part of your brain temporarily calcified into atheism" I'M GLAD, HARROW

so, they start to make out, all three of them

I finally caught up about zeus's deception and all about here

emperor awful is sandwiched between mercygirl on a table and augustine behind him and they forget there are children in the room

well, not children, but same difference, they're a million years old

harrow and yandere twin get the hell out of that display

CHAPTER 31

yandere twin wants to kiss harrowbean before she leaves to kill alleged gideon aka ortus, but harrow doesn't let her

harrow says "my affections lie buried in the Locked Tomb" to which yandere twin responds "Somebody might even exhume them for you"

when harrow mentioned not wanting to be touched while sleeping beside yandere twin, I remembered the pool hug and all that, that was a nice time

people were being killed left and right but it was a nice time

ANYWAY

harrow has a whole plan and has it all figured out, it's a really good plan, it works very nicely, but alleged gideon aka ortus isn't where they told her he was

sometimes, life works that way

the man you plan to kill isn't in the training room and all

she goes to look for him in not!dulcinea's crypt or whatever

and she sees this

and the spear

she follows the children's hospital trail of blood to the incinerator

alleged gideon aka ortus is inside the fire thingy and not!dulcinea is operating the controls

I wonder who could have predicted that this woman could still be an issue even after death

me, it was me

anyway, no time for I-told-you-so's because harrowbean decides to help him out of there

I'm very happy because I need him alive

he knows things and he's less bad than everyone else around here

because he's upfront about the killing

he tells her some things while he's kind of out of it

like to use blood wards instead of bone ones

that it will make her safe from "us"

"I know you're there. Kill me all you like. I would know you in the blindness of my eyes" he says and, among other things "Just tell me—back then—why you brought along the ba—"

WAS HE GONNA SAY BABY???? WHAT IF HE WANTED TO SAY BABY???

I'm still on my gideon agenda, sorry if it's embarrassing to read

of course emperor dickhead stops him before he can finish it

alleged gideon aka ortus says he doesn't remember shit afterwards and harrow sees her own mental state reflected in his

they can't find not!dulcinea, apparently

she's probably operating heavy machinery elsewhere

harrow is putting up her blood wards when she hears augustine and mercygirl argue about the whole zeus situation

the incinerator alarm apparently interrupted their plan of letting this happen

whether or not they had a hand on the not!dulcinea thing idk

mercygirl says she didn't move her

we end this act with ice cube barbie maybe annabel lee saying "The water is risen. So is the sun. We will endure."

obligatory yearning for camilla moment

That is the end of Act III and of my commentary because this was way too long and I need to make less chapters at a time istg

[joelswritingmistress]

You Scare Me, Professor: Chapter 19

Summary: The reader is taking graduate classes at a local university in the wooded upstate New York. She is drawn to her professor, Dr. Joel Miller, though she is also inherently aware that he has something dark about him that she can't quite put her finger on. As the reader's attraction grows deeper, she has to decide whether to endure the danger or run away as fast as possible. 

Pairing: Professor Joel Miller x f!reader 

Dr. Miller didn’t open up anymore about his past. It almost felt like he regretted telling me about the incident with his sister by the time we reached his home. We ate together at the kitchen island, but we mostly just sat in silence. The oversized space with a giant elephant in the room made things feel quite the opposite than they had in recent days.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I finally asked when Dr. Miller stared blankly toward the refrigerator.

“Not particularly.” He didn’t look over.

I hesitated before talking again. “If you regret telling me, it’s okay.”

“I don’t.” Dr. Miller finally glanced at me. “I don’t.. It’s just.. I just threw a lot on your plate by telling you that.”

I shook my head. “No, you didn’t. I think you just got a lot off yours - and that’s a good thing.”

He lazily forked the food on his plate again and ate a bite before sliding off the barstool. Dr. Miller rounded the island and opened a small cabinet above the fridge to retrieve a bottle of bourbon. He poured himself a small helping, wasting no time in swigging it down and gritting his teeth from the burn of the warm whiskey.

When he turned to put the glass in the sink, I tiptoed my way toward him and put my arms around him from behind. My eyes closed as I rested my head against his back and I felt his body relax. Dr. Miller let out a deep sigh.

“You’re the good guy,” I reminded him, hoping my words were even a little bit impactful. “Carol is lucky to have you.”

He turned and unlatched from his body and stepped back to look up at him. With ease and unpredictability, Dr. Miller scooped me up off the ground and sat me on the kitchen counter. We were face-to-face now and he stared at me from just a few inches away.

“It doesn’t bother you that I’ve killed someone?” He asked.

I stared back into those eyes. They had transformed from puppy dog to wolf in an instant. It was an odd comparison, I knew that, but it’s all I could think of. When Dr. Miller placed both of his hands on the marble countertop either side of me, I let out a deep exhale that I didn’t realize I had been holding in. 

“No.” I shook my head.

“Why?” The one-word question came out just slightly edgy. His eyes squinted and he subconsciously moved an inch closer as he spoke.

“It’s heavy,” I admitted, “Very heavy.” My eyes never left his and I placed a hand on his cheek, contrasting the intensity that radiated from him. It seemed to disarm him just a little. “But, no, it doesn’t bother me. The only thing that bothers me is that you have to live with it. You have to live with a man assaulting your sister, you have to live with defending her and it resulting in some man’s death.” I corrected myself, “Excuse me, some asshole’s death.”

Dr. Miller’s eyes moved back and forth. The book reading. The human lie detector.

“How could I judge you for something like that?” I asked, shaking my head.

When his eyes softened just a bit I was thankful. Dr. Miller looked down and back up. He then leaned in and kissed me. I rested my hands on his face and felt his move to my waist.

He parted from me and then pecked my lips once more. “Thank you.”

I snaked my arms around him and slowly pulled him against me for a hug. We stayed like that for a long moment before he picked me up with ease. Prior to Dr. Miller I had never had a man pick me up. Each time he did that my stomach danced with butterflies.

I sighed and then managed a little smile. “Take me upstairs.” I was hooked on him and both of us were brewing with emotion. I didn't want the moment to go to waste.

Dr. Miller’s hands squeezed my buttocks as I sat in his hands with my legs wrapped around him. “I make the rules,” he reminded me, finally with a playful squint in his eyes and a little smirk tipping the corner of his lips.

“You're right,” I agreed. My eyes were locked with his. “What are you going to do to me?”

Dr. Miller couldn't keep his smile from expanding. “I'm going to take you upstairs.”

I let out a little chuckle and our lips collided again. Finally, the tension broke and we managed to salvage the better half of the evening.

By the time Tuesday night’s class rolled around, things felt as if they were back to normal - as normal as it could be for us. Dr. Miller was back to using his charming delivery to woo the crowd of twenty-somethings. As much as I was truly engaged in the subject matter, I suddenly felt totally removed from the rest of the group; like I didn't belong.

It wasn't a bad feeling. None of my classmates were actual friends of mine, or even acquaintances. Somehow it just felt surreal to walk into that oversized classroom and sit in the crowd as if Dr. Miller meant nothing to me, when in reality I was caught up in this forbidden,  whirlwind romance - one where he had just confessed, perhaps, his darkest secret. Perhaps.

For the better half of fifteen minutes I found myself daydreaming as I watched him draw laughs from the crowd, wave his hands with genuine enthusiasm as he spoke and create thought-provoking conversations from his students. When I realized I must’ve looked like a young girl at some boy band concert, I adjusted the way I sat in my chair and cleared my throat.

Class ended with Dr. Miller assigning a short paper that was due by the end of the week. “I’ll begin grading them next Monday,” he explained, “So, you’ll have the rest of this week and the weekend.” When no one commented he put his hands to the sides and said in purposely-cliche fashion, “Class dismissed.”

I smiled to myself when his eyes landed directly on me as I took my time packing up my backpack. At the same time I caught a glimpse of Trevor from my peripheral vision. He watched as I lazily shoved my notebook down into the bowels of my bag and only turned away when I glanced purposefully in his direction.

For the first time I felt a twinge of discomfort. Did Trevor have an inclination that something was going on between Dr. Miller and I; or was he simply jealous that I was getting some of the attention from our professor that he craved? There’s no doubt in my mind that Trevor was the, ‘I’m the smartest guy in the room’ type; a teacher’s pet on steroids.

My phone vibrated in my pocket and I looked away from my annoying classmate to glance at the text that had come in. Dr. Miller. I smiled to myself.

Take a left out of the classroom, go out the back door and get in the car, the text read.

I glanced up at him and smiled when he was staring directly at me. With a little nod, he smirked and looked down as he gathered his laptop and things from on top of the desk.

Trevor and I took parallel staircases down to the bottom floor and I didn’t linger like I typically did once the class had emptied out. The last thing I wanted was for him to start putting the pieces together. My eyes briefly met Dr. Miller’s as I passed by. 

“Bye Trevor.” I glanced over my shoulder as I crossed out of the classroom, catching my professor’s eye again as I disappeared off to the left.

Before I reached the back door I saw Trevor and two remaining students exit the classroom. He looked around the otherwise empty hallway as if he was searching for something; and then he turned around completely and did a double-take when he noticed me by the back door.

Shit. I should have just gone outside, I thought.

When I waved to him, he quickly turned around with his thumbs tucked beneath the straps of his bag and power walked in the opposite direction. I continued my walk out the back door, being met by a smaller parking lot near a manmade pond in the center of campus. It was desolate and dark and would have freaked me out if the Mercedes headlights weren’t willing me to safety. The logo shimmered in the center of the vehicle, greeting me with a friendly hello.

I took a deep breath, glancing around in all directions and pulled my hood up as I walked the semi-snowy walkway down to Dr. Miller’s car. I guessed he had an automatic starter but I was a bit surprised that it could reach from the classroom. When I opened the passenger door, a warmth overtook the chill that had crept inside my body on the short walk outside.

Out of habit, I closed the door and locked it as I sat waiting in the darkness. One minute went by. Two. Three.

I glanced at my phone every thirty seconds or so and on minute six I almost texted Dr. Miller, though he emerged from the giant steel door in the back of the building. My body relaxed and I watched his dark silhouette slink down the same walkway. I watched him all the way up until the back door behind me clicked open and I turned to face him.

The light inside the vehicle didn’t click on. I could barely make out his features. When the door slammed I swallowed hard.

“Dr. Miller?” I had to confirm that it was actually him, though I was certain it was.

All at once, the four locks clicked shut with a collective snap.

“Come here.” His voice was indistinguishable. I would know that voice anywhere. It left the hairs standing up on the back of my neck.

“Yes, Dr. Miller.” I knew that was what he wanted to hear as I climbed into the back seat. Much to my surprise, and satisfaction, his hard cock was already out of his pants. I only knew this in the dark because he guided my hand into his lap. At the same time he was pulling me onto my knees beside him to kiss me.

“It’s been almost twenty-four hours since I’ve fucked you,” he said in a voice just above a whisper, “That’s too fuckin’ long.”

I kissed him hard, making out with him as he groaned into my mouth as I stroked his length in my palm from bottom to top and back down again.

“I don’t have it in me to wait until we get home,” Dr. Miller choked out as he kissed down my neck before roughly catching my earlobe between his teeth. “It’s torture seeing you sitting there in class knowing I can’t ravage you.”

I moaned when his hands slid down past my waist, yanking down the leggings I had on beneath an oversized sweatshirt. I let my Ugg fall off one foot and freed my left leg from my pants. Dr. Miller pulled me onto his lap, eagerly forcing me down onto his greedy, impatient cock. He didn’t wait for me to create the pace as he had in the past. Dr. Miller thrusted his hips up, slamming into me with a force that made me moan without warning.

“Fuuck.” I whined and gripped the leather seat behind where he sat.

Dr. Miller held my hips firmly in place and completely dominated the pace from beneath me. When another set of headlights entered the lot, I looked over my shoulder and slunk down.

“Someone else is here,” I whispered, as if they could hear me.

He gently used two fingers to turn my head back around to face him. “Ride my dick, honey.”

Fuck. It was like checkmate all over again; although I wasn't losing. I was just submitting. Submitting myself completely and fully to him. The car pulled in a few spaces away from the two of us and we both glanced over, just for a second, when another professor exited the vehicle and began walking up toward the building.

Dr. Miller quickly pulled my face back to his, roughly this time, and we made out hard as I moved on top of him. I could tell he enjoyed the thrill of being so close to getting caught like this. It aroused me, too.  “Ughhh…” He broke the kiss to moan and he gripped my bare hips as he cursed and panted, pushing deeper inside of me. I suddenly felt a familiar warmth between my legs and Dr. Miller’s head fell back against the seat.

I looked down, smirking slightly, at how fast he came.

“Oh, fuck, sorry.” He breathed the words out and grinned beneath half-open eyes.

I giggled and touched my forehead to his before pecking his lips. “I love seeing you so worked up.”

“I owe you one.” He pulled me in for a hard closed-mouth kiss. 

“Mmm.”

We parted and I hopped off him, leaving a mess between us that coated the front of his dark gray work pants. Dr. Miller tucked himself back into his pants. He reached into the breast pocket of his white, button-down shirt and pulled out a handkerchief.

I glanced down as he wiped my inner thighs and made eye-contact with me for a second before slipping the white cloth into my hand so I could do the rest. Dr. Miller eyed my every move and then took the handkerchief back. He looked me in the eye when he folded it neatly and stuffed it back into his pocket. Why something like that turned me on, I will never know. But it did.

Dr. Miller smirked at my awestruck reaction and he touched my face and let his thumb dance in circles around my cheek. “I’ll take care of you when we get home,” he promised.

“Okay.” My eyes closed when he kissed me again.

“Hop into the front seat.”

I nodded and kissed him again before doing as he instructed. At the same time, Dr. Miller opened the back door and reentered the car through the driver’s side. When he slunk back into the car beside me, his hand found mine. I loved the way he treated me after ravaging my body.

“Are we together?” I suddenly asked. I had to know. We had never clearly created a label. Not that labels were particularly important, but I decided in this case I needed a concrete answer. When Dr. Miller turned toward me, I glanced down at our interlocked hands.

He waited for me to look back at him before responding. “Yes.”

“Exclusively?”

Dr. Miller nodded. “If that’s what you want.”

“I do,” and then added, “Do you?”

He grinned and leaned across to kiss me. “Yes.”

I smiled wide and put my feet on the dashboard as he put the car in drive. Dr. Miller chuckled at my outward elated mannerisms. He brought the back of my hand to his lips and cruised the vehicle out of the small, dark parking lot.

When I glanced out the tinted window, I saw Trevor standing there in the shadows. He hugged a laptop to his chest and adjusted his glasses as if to see better. His presence made me slink down further into the seat. What the fuck was he doing? And more importantly, did he see us?

CLICK HERE FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER

@untamedheart81 @suttonspuds @cesspitoflove @michilandcof @grogusmum @morallyinept @akah565 @brittmb115 @magpiepills @poodlebae @gobaaby-blog-blog @mermaidgirl30 @mandijo17 @jiminstinypinky

[burnin0akleaves]

Here's the draw six fanarts meme I decided to participate in 4 years late

In true burnin0akleaves spirit I didn't ask anyone for requests and just went ahead with all of the characters that have been the most impactful/important to me, so there is a high chance you've seen me draw these guys before.

By the way, unlike the rest of the blorbos here Siyra is an original character and belongs to @nineteen-rats!

Close-ups and rambles under the cut because it's my blog

Ohh the Dark Urge. My latest obsession. I love his design so much, I'm a slut for white/red color schemes, but I feel like it's a double edged sword that takes you out of the horrors he's commiting at the same time?

Durge is supposed to be murder incarnate, someone that does every fucked up thing related to death imaginable; but when you see a giant lizard eating babies or humping corpses, it dulls the effect a bit since you automatically view it as an animalistic act. Dragonborns are obviously a fully sentient humanoid race in-universe; but when the violence you're seeing is already toeing the line between horrifying and hilarious, seeing a scalie doing it just pushes it over the line. I still think it works really well most of the time and I'm very glad that this is the default durge we get! It's just funny to me that when you choose to play as the giant lizard, the dark and disgusting horror story turns into the hilariously edgy bloodfest.

Reminding everyone again that Siyra belongs to @nineteen-rats! I love this man so so so much. I am the Siyra fandom. I am the number one Siyra fanartist. He did nothing wrong and I will defend his every decision. I also hope terrible horrors befall him and that his actions keep him awake for the rest of his life. Pookie bear xoxo

COMING IN WITH THE STEEL CHAIR IT'S WILL TREATY

He is on my mind, always. I don't talk about him as much but he's probably still the fictional character who had the most impact on me as a person.

PATROCLUS! PATROCLUS!!! SIR I'M YOUR NUMBER ONE FAN!!

I got into patrochilles and the Illiad in general thanks to "The Song of Achilles". It was one of the first queer books I got to have in real life and the prose captivated me instantly, I still have it on my shelf. After reading the Illiad itself however, I hate that book so much. I'm sorry it's genuinely beautiful and I get why people like it but I can never forgive that horrible Patroclus characterization after seeing what he was originally like. Achilles too for that matter.

Hades swooped me up into its arms like I was a sick baby bird and nursed me back to health with its portrayal of the two though and for that I am forever grateful. I can't wait for Hades 2, death to Chronos.

God Half-Life is such an important series for me. My dad would let me play through a few levels since I was a child, he grew up with the games, but I REALLY played through the entire series one summer shortly before dad moved out. He was there watching me play most of it and getting to enjoy someone actually translate the game's dialogue for him for the first time.

Gordon may not speak once but I like the hints of his personality we get throughout the games, most importantly from the way Alyx talks to/about him. I have my own characterization of him obviously but I do really think you can get a good understanding of the kind of man he is meant to be in-universe just by paying attention to his surroundings. Also another reason the games were so immersive for me is that I'm just as in love with Alyx as Gordon is. I must have let her get hit only once or twice the entire time just out of how protective I was over her. I'd topple the entire Combine empire just for her hand in marriage. I rewatched the ending of Half Life Alyx recently and cried.

I read the entirety of LOTR in one week in 11th grade, carrying that damn brick of a book everyday to school and back. I'm so glad I did honestly. Frodo and Sam are my important little guys and I find myself going back to them when I need something to calm me down in a way no other series except LOTR can. I've read most of Tolkien's work at this point, but nothing captivated me like those two little hobbits. Everytime I read a bad take about their relationship I sketch them making out.

People liked seeing my drawing process before so here's the original sketch and the little notes I wrote to myself trying to set the mood. I followed like half of them.

[ihavemanyhusbands]

Ettieeeee I wanna thank the universe for making me stumble upon your blog!!! I'm obsessed with all your fics / drabbles about Richie, he's my hyperfixation rn 😭 if you're open for requests, could you pretty please with cherries on top write something where reader has been crushing on Richie for so long but she thinks he's still hung up on Tiff so she decides to move on and date around for a bit.....but then jealous!Richie pops up 🫠 I go INSANE over jealous!Richie fr!!! Thank you ilyyy ❤️❤️❤️

Awwww thank you soooo much this is so sweet!! ❤️❤️❤️ i love me some jealous Richie so yes!

------

You’d been listening to your date talk about himself for what felt like an eternity. He barely even stopped himself to ask questions about you, so you’d been nodding along while you half-dissociated.

The waitress had even gotten you a second glass of wine without you having to ask, giving you a discreet look of support upon delivery. Not that this guy would’ve noticed anyway.

What was his name again? Jason? Blake? It really didn’t matter. Reason being, none of these guys you’d been meeting could make you forget Richie Jerimovich.

Though of course, there was the painful reminder that he was emotionally unavailable. Or so you thought, given the times you’d heard him speaking about Tiffany with Sugar and Carmy.

You understood, of course, even if it still hurt. Not that he knew of your feelings towards him, but that didn’t matter. It was why you thought moving on was a worthy pursuit… at one point, at least.

You were sitting right by the restaurant’s window facing the street, so occasionally you would notice the passerby outside. Though, only out of politeness, you tried to keep eye contact with your date.

And that way, you didn’t notice that the one that was stuck in your mind was actually on the other side of the glass, aghast.

Richie couldn’t even register the sight of you on a date at first. But when he did, jealousy hit him so fiercely it almost surprised him.

“What the fuck?” He muttered.

In all fairness, what you didn’t know was that he had chickened out of asking you out a few times. He thought he’d heard about you maybe meeting someone, but he’d been too wrapped up with the restaurant’s reconstruction to really pay attention.

Though to his very mild relief, he could see that you were not having a good time. You had your chin resting on your hand, looking like you were about to fall asleep.

Scoffing, ranting under his breath about the random jagoff sitting across from you, he dialed your number on his phone before thinking twice about it.

He saw your back straighten in surprise as you mumbled an apology. You stood up quickly, almost tipping your chair in your haste, and stepped to one side.

“Hey, Richie. Is everything okay?” You said.

To hear your voice was a momentary soothing balm, making him lose a little bit of his edge. Dumbly, he realized he had to scramble for a reason to have called you.

“H-hey, uh, there was a… There was a bit of an issue at the Beef, I need someone to come help, but I couldn't get ahold of anyone! You-you're the first one to answer."

"Oh no, um, right now? I could be there in thirty minutes, I think," you said, making your words a little louder but internally relieved beyond belief to cut this date short. "What happened?"

Richie started to move away, having to rush to get there before you. "Er, it'll just be easier when you get here. It's hard to explain over the phone. Just... I'll see you in thirty minutes, okay?"

"Yes, see you!" you said, biting down a smile as you rushed back to your table. "Sorry, I have to go. Work emergency. You understand right?"

The guy blinked at you, appalled beyond words but mouth opening like a confused fish out of water. He raised his hands as if to gesture what the hell?

You grabbed your coat and your purse. "Thanks for dinner, gotta run, sorry bye!"

------

[createserenity]

What are the rainbows all about?

There’s more than one. We all know about the rainbow that fades in over Crowley after the failed awning kiss scene, but what about the other times they appear? This is just after he talks to Nina about how she feels about sudden rain so it might just be linked to that.

Why a rainbow here though? I don’t think it’s just the connotations of the rain being similar to the rain in The Flood. Crowley covers the sky with black clouds and then doesn’t miracle them away so for these to instantly disperse and a rainbow to appear (we see the sun is instantly back and everyone has put down their umbrellas through the bookshop window) seems like it would need some outside influence. Should we interpret as being a sign sent by somebody? And if so, who? The Almighty?

If you ask someone what the meaning and purpose of the rainbow is in the story of Noah’s Ark they will generally say it’s a sign to humans that God won’t flood the earth/destroy all life again, with the implication that the rainbow is for humans to remind us of this. That is partly the intention, and it’s established truth in the GO universe because Aziraphale tells Crowley that the Almighty is going to put up a rainbow “as a promise not to drown everyone again”. 

There is another purpose to the rainbow though in the “real world” Bible, one which is repeated several times during God’s speech to Noah in Genesis.

“Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. (…) Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth.”

This is God speaking here, so the I is God. They’re saying that future rainbows will not be sent by them, but will appear naturally and will serve as a reminder to themself that they promised not to drown everyone again. What God is saying in this part of the Bible seems to be along the lines of, you humans are imperfect and this angers me, but also I know I am vengeful and that this is not good. Because I’m fallible and liable to forget my promise I’m making this thing that will appear of its own accord in certain conditions to remind me to check my vengeful nature.

It's interesting really because God is supposed to be infallible, that’s one of the main points, except this speech by God is suggesting quite literally that they know they are fallible. If they weren’t they wouldn’t need a reminder.

I guess how the rainbow over Crowley is interpreted depends on how much whoever decided to put it there from the GO production team really knows about the story of the rainbow. If they only know that it as a sign to humans then it could have an entirely different meaning than if the decision to put it there was made by someone who knows it was a reminder to God as well.

Why does the rainbow appear here?

Since the rainbow is to remind God not to end all life on earth again could this be something to do with season 3? A reminder of that promise and a suggestion that the Almighty herself doesn’t actually want life ended? I’m not so sure about this one because we are repeatedly shown that in GO the Almighty is fully capable of doing cruel things (like sentencing Job’s children to death – unless we see this as weird complicated test of Crowley because God is playing a game of her own devising), so to have it suddenly turned around and have her not be in control of the divine plan seems odd (but then she is odd, absolutely bonkers if her speech to Job is anything to go by – the Almighty of the GO universe doesn’t seem very sane or logical).

It’s also strange that the rainbow, a promise to humanity and reminder to the Almighty not to drown everyone again is followed by Gabriel saying, “There will come a tempest, and darkness, and great storms”. So what is that saying about the original promise? Or what is the rainbow telling us about the statement that follows?

Maybe it’s more literally related to the vavoom moment Crowley is trying to create here. We’ve just watched a deluge of water ruin his attempts to get Maggie and Nina to fall in love. Could the awning ripping be interpreted as an act of God? If so the rainbow could be some sort of comment on that act and the fact that it meant his attempt at creating that moment for Nina and Maggie didn’t go quite right. A sort of, I did say I wouldn’t drown everyone again, but I couldn’t let this vavoom moment work so I had to drown (soak) them. If so that begs the questions – why? Why did the Almighty not want this particular moment to work out? Simply thwarting a demon’s plans, or something more?

I don’t really have any answers here. These are all just random musings, maybe someone who is better at research and interpretation of scenes can take up these questions. It’s really not my forte!

Another idea, which is probably a bit out there, inspired by this meta by @vidavalor.

It’s a very long meta, but a really fun read. To summarise though it is all about her theory that Crowley and Aziraphale kissed for the first time way back after The Flood happened (there’s so much more to it, seriously do read it!) So what’s this got to do with the rainbow? Well, whilst I love the idea that they’ve been doing something all along I don’t think that’s what Neil is writing here and I don’t actually expect it to be the case. (I might be totally wrong of course and I do love playing with this theory for fun, as in this post and this one). I do kind of buy into the idea though that he might be writing a story where they have had an almost-kiss before – specifically that Crowley might have tried or wanted to kiss Aziraphale before and Aziraphale has either rejected it, not noticed or it’s been stopped by outside influences. There’s so much great meta out there about how 1941 might have been the time when Crowley tried for a kiss and Aziraphale rejected him either before or afterwards, which does seem the most likely time in their history for that to happen. What if the almost-kiss happened not in the bookshop but later whilst they were tracking down the zombies (I believe Neil has hinted they might return in season 3) and then it was prevented by a deluge of water in some way? (And afterwards Aziraphale decided it would have been a bad idea – hence, “you go to fast for me, Crowley” in 1967.)

Or what if there were previous times when Crowley wanted to kiss but Aziraphale was just oblivious? Could it have been at the flood? They did something together (maybe saved some people?), went and sheltered from the rain under a canopy of trees, looked into each other’s eyes and then Crowley had a moment of realisation, I want to kiss this angel, but before he could act on it they were stopped by a deluge of water. Not the rain (that was already falling and wouldn’t have stopped them by itself) but by the other form of flooding that happened during this story. Specifically, this from Genesis 7:11:

“on the seventeenth day of the second month—on that day all the springs of the great deep burst forth, and the floodgates of the heavens were opened.”

So a deluge stopped a kiss during the flood or in 1941. Now another deluge has stopped Maggie and Nina’s potential kiss. Could the rainbow be a sign to Crowley? Next time I promise I won’t do that to you.

If it’s that and then the bookshop kiss is the one that isn’t stopped by water then the Almighty really is playing a pretty strange game with these two.

Are there anymore rainbows?

Yes, two other appearances of rainbows. The very first time we see a rainbow is when the angels come to check on Aziraphale after they spot the plume from the Jim miracle. It appears in front of him and then sweeps over the angels as the camera pans around. The only significance I can see here is that this is the start of the whole “love” thing with Maggie and Nina that later leads to the awning scene. It's also the only time I can find where they appear with Aziraphale on screen rather than Crowley.

The last time we see rainbows is in the final 15 minutes. Firstly one appears on the window of the Bentley when Crowley watches Aziraphale leave. This is not a great screenshot, it's across the window in line with his watch and a second after this the rainbow becomes clearer and actually doubles up so there’s two of them.

Finally when Crowley is driving away right at the end once again the rainbow plays over the Bentley. Another promise? Or just a sign of hope, which is the other meaning ascribed to a rainbow?

What do these rainbows mean?

I have no clue. Honestly, it could just be that the whole theme of this season seems to revolve a lot around colour and using light and rainbows might just be an extension of that with no other meaning. The world is super colourful a lot of the time, I mean it’s literally painted rainbow colours, with the shop fronts all being different colours and the extras all wearing super bright clothing – notably an awful lot of orange and orange-yellow tones.

Interestingly in this rainbow world that GO shows us the colour purple is missing a lot of the time. It appears in the tartan various characters wear (Aziraphale, Saraqael etc) but doesn’t seem to appear much elsewhere except in the rainbows (it’s difficult to see in the rainbows but it is there, indigo and violet are difficult to see in real life rainbows to due to the length of the light waves). Purple is the colour associated with royalty, authority and notably Jesus at Easter so it’s intriguing that it is missing from the rainbow of the world here.

Anyway the point is I find all this strange. Could be something, could be nothing. I’m just a bit obsessed with noticing details at this stage!

[diviine-zero]

love is a kaleidoscope - e. williams

Tags: Reader has no specified gender, angsty question mark, rocky relationship, some use of profanity (please take this lightly. like grain of salt lightly.), ellie is kind of ooc i think, set somewhat in the canon typical universe, mentions(?) of mental health struggles

A/N: I was trying to write another fic but I couldn’t do it. I suck at multitasking buuuuut, chappell roan inspired fic! Kaleidoscope is honestly a banger so everyone should stream when they read this! (I doubt anyone will do this but trust me! It’s for ambiance.)

Ellie hadn’t been herself lately. Going out early and coming back late, quieter, moping around, anxious, paranoid. Usually you’d been able to get her out of her moods with some attention but it seemed as if she’d been dead set on staying in this one. It didn’t matter what you tried — nothing worked.

“Ellie, I just wanna help you.” You spoke softly as you approached her drawing desk. “You’re not yourself lately.” You felt sorry for her, but she seemed to hate that. Since the day of Joel’s death and the meeting in Santa Barbara with Abby, everything had changed; understandably so. But you wanted to be there for her.

She was scared to let people in. She didn’t know what to say or when it would ever be safe again. Seeing how much you cared, she had harbored some resentment towards your persistence. She never understood how someone could be so interested in bettering someone who’d obviously been going through something.

It was hard to say, but sometimes she wants silence. She doesn’t wanna be reminded of how she needs to get out more or how much you’d wanna make her feel better by doing things you’d done before the outbreak. Truthfully? To her, it could never be the same — not without Joel. She lost a part of herself. “Ellie. Ellie, please look at me.”

She spares a glance in your direction for a moment. “If you really wanna go, I’ll never make you stay. Seriously. I want what’s best for you— for us, this relationship. If you need to go your own way, so be it.”

The relationship you had with Ellie had always been somewhat rocky. After she initially left to find Abby, the revenge took over her mind and made for a new and ugly personality. It was the same thing. Revenge. Revenge. Revenge. It was like a curse. One that seems to linger no matter how many times you discourage it from coming back. Ellie seemed to have her mind set on killing that woman Abby. That’s probably what had done it for her.

“I’ll totally understand if we need to be apart. I truly do. It’ll just.. take some time before we could even be friends again or something.” You shrug. “But why? Why would it be weird to go back to the way we’d already been?” Ellie finally speaks, her voice raw and hoarse. “Dealing with this sorta thing is hard. I think I’d need some time before I decide we can be friends again. I’d still look at you and say, yknow, you’re my girlfriend; but in reality we’re.. exes.”

Ellie understands, but it’s a hard pill to swallow. In her eyes, love was beautiful and blissful yet still confusing. How it worked? We’ll never know. Nobody does. Once you fall into it, you fall hard, and it feels like a punch in the gut once you realize that this isn’t forever.

Even with all the beauties of love, being inlove and being loved, she was afraid to let it in. She was always kinda closed off-ish when it came to herself.

“Things like this are.. big, and wild and confusing, I know. Emotions are big. Love is a big one,” You began speaking, yet gently and slowly. “But sometimes, it’s necessary to just.. take some time away from it, you know?” Ellie nods along with what you were saying.

“Maybe we do need a little break from eachother. To think about if we can keep going with this. All I can think right now is how fucking tired I am, and how I want this to work, but I don’t know how.” Ellie sighs. “I’ve been trying to be better for you but it feels impossible. I don’t know what to even do anymore,” Her hands tangle in her short hair as she thinks about what she’d say next.

“I love you a lot. I really do. But we need to take some time away from eachother.” Ellie says, holding your hands. It stings, but you knew this was coming. It was like bracing yourself before a punch you knew was coming to you.

“Yeah. I think so too.” You mumble back. You look at Ellie, she looks at you. She stands up to embrace you and you just let the tears you kept bottled up out while she rubs your back.

[dduane]

hi ms duane (who is rlly cool and i love your books btw),

any advice? one of my favourite book series (released 30 years ago) was never finished... it's rumoured the last book was written but never published . ever since i have discovered this i have been heartbroken 😔. how do i cope with the cliffhanger? is it okay to approach the author and ask him about it? (he has written other books since + has other social medias) what do i dooooooo?

Well—per the second-to-last question, and speaking as someone who started one novel series more than forty years ago, and still haven't finished its last main-sequence book (and hears about it more than occasionally from the readership)—my immediate reaction would be:

From where I'm sitting, no, it's not really okay. So don't.

To clarify the thinking behind this, a couple of questions need to be answered.

(1) How sure are you about whether the rumor accurately reflects reality?

(2) Is the author someone you'd care about possibly hurting?

(And #2 is more important than #1, but bear with me.)

First of all: rumors are, well, rumors. I wouldn't approach an author about something like this if a rumor was all there was to go on. In particular, if the author's ever been asked about this and declined to answer, there may be legal complications in the background that they can't or don't want to deal with in public.

Secondly: if the book does indeed exist but was never published, three decades back, then there are numerous reasons that could be behind it, and all of them are painful to consider. A couple that immediately occur to me are:

The publisher decided they didn't like the last book enough to take the risk of publishing it (or sales figures for preceding books had been poor or declining), and/or no other publisher wanted the final book because they couldn't also publish the front end of the series. (I.e., the original publisher refused to revert those books' publcation rights.)

The author decided for some reason after completing the book that they didn't like it (and/or the series preceding it), and pulled it.

And there are many other possibilities... but I'm not going to get into a long list of maybes here. The point is that there's a better-than-even chance that having someone turn up on social media or in their inbox with a question about Oh Sweet Gods Not This Again, will cause the author pain.

And the issue of whether (for whatever reason) some people might think the author deserves the pain is completely beside the point. Hamlet's got it right here: "Use every man after his desert, and who shall 'scape whipping? Use them after your own honor and dignity—the less they deserve, the more merit is in your bounty."

So if I was standing where you are, after thinking about it a bit, I'd say "...yeah, no." ...and let the author be.

Now as for the question "How do I cope with the cliffhanger?": well, you pull on your Thoughtful Reader Pants—pull them right up high— and remind yourself that:

(a) Powerful though all art can be, it also can be fragile, especially as regards completions... because entropy, and sometimes mortality, can get in the way.

(b) And while we're discussing mortality: Cliffhangers are an inescapable part of the human condition. One day, you and I and everyone we know will suddenly depart this scene, and leave everyone else who knows us wondering what would have happened if... and never finding out. Maybe this is why we have a certain amount of trouble with cliffhangers in literature, on TV and in other arts: because "art is supposed to reflect life" (...long pause...) "But not like that!"

(c) In the meantime: Read the author's books that you do have. Celebrate what that person's made in that particular universe that you've got access to. And know that, in the fullness of time, eventually your heart will mend, and be stronger after the break as a result.

And finally: never give up hope. That author, and that book, might surprise you some day, when you most need it. :)

HTH!