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chickentendersnfries · 3 years

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Addressing the Situation

Hey Everyone, so myself and some close moots you may know have come across a recurring problem involving someone you might be conscious of on this app. And yes, we have thought this through and we would not be doing this unless we all thought it necessary. This person has been entangled with not one, not two but numerous occurrences where they sexualized, harassed, and made their formal mutuals uncomfortable. You may have noticed that mutuals were plural, that is because we’ve become aware of how many people this has happened to. This person is commonly known and we would like to make a disclaimer that all of our accusations can and will be proven in the following. The said people who have been sexualized, harassed, and pressured include @mira-cant-spell , @noceurwhore , @dr4cking , @ameliasbitvh , @just-a-smol-spoon , and @dracoscum . And those are the ones we are presently mindful of at the moment or who have given our authorization to share with the public. You are probably familiar with most of those blogs because of their popularity and I’d like you to know they’ve all given consent for us to tell you their experiences with this person. The person we want to talk about is @fucky-bucky or more commonly known as Ash. @ameliasbitvh , @pansyspet , and I have spent the past day or two gathering information about everything that has happened.

It started when Mira added Ash on Snapchat, beginning with Ash continuously asking for pictures of Mira herself, which is only slightly concerning, but after Mira agreed and sent the picture and time went on, Ash began trash-talking every single one of Mira’s moots beginning with Rose. She told Mira to stop talking to all of them which led to Mira getting anxious every time she talked to Ash because it felt wrong. She tried to avoid Ash but Ash would pull Mira back in with all sorts of things. If Mira tried to tell Ash that she was tired and busy, Ash would ignore her for the rest of the day without any sort of apology. The guilt and weight of everything led to Mira taking a small break from Tumblr, mostly with hopes that Ash would stop talking to her so often, but once Mira came back Ash continued, starting with more trash talk about Mira’s moots but moving from that to telling Mira that she was the only reason she was still alive, essentially guilt tripping Mira into not leaving her. It may seem normal to have someone who is the only reason you wake up in the morning, but it is not normal that Ash would tell everyone that. Mira tried to give hints that she didn’t want to talk to Ash anymore but she wouldn’t stop, so Mira blocked her. When this happened, Ash tried to contact Mira from a different account. Ash had also tried to contact Cinta from this account as well. Another add-on to the story between Ash and Mira comes in when Mira was still trying to figure out her sexuality and preferences but Ash would make Mira highly uncomfortable by sending Mira NSFW things about characters and celebrities, to which Mira expressed her discomfort. Although Ash didn’t send as many, she played the victim by coming to me and telling me that Mira was annoyed by her and was upset with her when in fact Mira was simply not comfortable with the subject.

As for Cinta, she was sexualized multiple times by Ash, same with Mae. Ash would make up NSFW scenarios of both girls, making both highly uncomfortable as they tried to change the subject but still be friendly towards Ash because they didn’t think it would get too extreme. And everytime Cinta and Ash talking about something Ash would always turned it into herself and turn the topic into sexual things including Cinta in it. As I previously stated, after Cinta blocked Ash, she was contacted by another account made by Ash and the girl was unrelenting. Cinta ended up getting so uncomfortable with Ash that she was scared to unblock Ash for even a minute to get screenshots of their interactions. Both Cinta and Mae tried to play things off with Ash and tried to stay friends with her but her actions continued on multiple social media sites including Instagram. Ash kept creating these scenarios and flirting with her in a not so sfw way even after both Mae and Cinta explained that they were straight. Ash went as far as to question Cinta’s sexual orientation three times over time, and even after being told, Ash continued with her behavior. Ash made up several NSFW scenarios with Mae, even using gifs to show her point, and didn’t stop with just a few.

Now addressing Eve’s experience with Ash which we had an actual conversation about. This one all started from one simple ask further continuing when ash slid into Eve's DMS. The conversation was okay, it wasn’t all weird or NSFW. That was until ash started sexualizing every little thing, there was no time from that point on where Ash did not sexualize Eve, it got to the point where ash sexualized her for using an emoji. A fucking emoji. The rolling eye emoji, telling Eve that if she kept using that emoji that one day ash would make her eyes roll back like that. she sexualized the use of that emoji and made it about eve. and they came to a point where one had ‘caught feelings’ it was a normal conversation turned weird. And with the sudden confession of feelings, Eve felt obligated to say that she also had taken a liking to ash. Which wasn’t true. Another thing that baffles me is that Ash knew nothing about Eve, not even her age, yet still caught feelings? Ash had told her that they would go unlabeled. When Eve finally mustered up the courage to tell Ash that she truly didn’t like her in that way, Ash said that she didn’t either. Meaning that if Eve did have feelings, Ash would have played with them. Which isn’t right. Eve was very uncomfortable with the way that Ash would ‘flirt’ and sexualize her. Ash is also very ignorant. Eve had told her that she was uncomfortable with a certain pet name and emoji, yes I know an emoji. but when using that emoji seriously, it made Eve uncomfortable. When Ash knew that Eve was uncomfortable with these two, she continued to use both of them. Eve had also tried ignoring Ash, trying to give Ash a hint that she no longer wanted to talk to her. But Ash couldn’t see that. Ash went out of her way to text her on almost every platform they had shared. (Eve never wanted to give any social platform to Ash, but out of fear she did) and she also got Mira to contact her and tell her that she is trying to reach out to eve. it’s funny to think that someone online can have so much fucking power over one. manipulation at its finest. Ash had also made a scenario of the both of them, in mafia au, trying to get eve to participate in. This made Eve very uncomfortable, she did not want to participate. Also, Eve would cover her discomfort using sarcasm, to try and pull away from an NSFW topic. But then again Ash did not get the hints and would keep trying. even though giving dry responses would keep her at bay, and that didn’t work. Ash has also talked about Eve behind her back, calling her foul names, including “clown”.

Eve talking: if I’m a clown, she needs to STFU and go back to the circus where she fucking belongs. She was raised in a whole fucking barn, right next to the pigs.

Although Ash’s toxic tendencies towards Jae were much less straightforward, they were still very apparent. The most recent event was the ending of Jae and Ash’s friendship, something that Jae had thought was mutual and non-bitter, it had seemed as though there were no hard feelings. After their parting, Ash approached Jae through asks, showing her a sentence sent on an anonymous platform that said “I miss you as a best friend, IDK why I just left that day. I hope we could talk again soon. -Jae '' which led Jae to explain that she hadn’t just “walked out” on Ash, because the two girls had spent several days on the discussion of their friendship ending and them distancing themselves from one another. Ash continued the conversation by asking Jae if the message had any truth to it, which is when Jae told her that the ending of their friendship was mutual, rather than just Jae leaving Ash behind. After further discussion and set boundaries between them, they parted ways. Jae didn’t expect to hear anything else about Ash but a few weeks later, she heard about the things happening to Cinta, Mae, and Eve. After talking to Cinta for a bit, she found out that Ash had been saying things about her to Cinta. At first, she started with telling Cinta that Jae had caused her to be depressed again (and called her a clown, same as she had done with Eve) and told Cinta that Jae had taken her kindness for granted, was rude the whole time, and went as far as calling Jae a “toxic whore”. Before this, Ash had guilt-tripped Jae into several things, the most prominent and extreme example being when Ash threatened to end their friendship if Jae didn’t call herself pretty. Of course, there was some good intention, but Ash said that it was one of her biggest pet peeves, which is essentially saying that she doesn’t care about Jae’s insecurities. Even before this, Ash had been a confusing subject and had once told Jae “I know that my family and friends and god love me” but was still playing the suicidal card that led to Jae being too afraid to unfriend her. At one point, Jae had gone to rant and vent to Ash, only for Ash to turn it on Jae and try to argue that the relationship between Jae and this person (Jae avoided the person's name to not make them the bad guy in the situation) was toxic. After going back and forth for several minutes, Ash made a post about “dumb people” and people who didn’t listen, something that was pointed towards Ash. After this had happened, Jae found out that Julie had vented to Ash that same day about the same thing, which proved that Ash most likely knew who both of them were talking about. Essentially, Ash had tried to force Jae into believing that her relationship with Julie was toxic and unhealthy, and was very harsh about it at the time.

On the other hand, there were other people, Orion and Ari. They both were uncomfortable with ash and the way that ash had attempted to flirt with the two girls. Ash had called Orion a “hot lesbian”, to which Orion is not lesbian. Orion is also confused about her sexuality too, so the whole interaction had made Orion even more uncomfortable. Ash should’ve respected the fact that Orion was not a lesbian, but instead, she kept pressing it on. Ash is at least the age to know that the things that she is doing and saying are all wrong. Ash has also made Ari feel this way as well. Ash asked Ari if they wanted to see a “video of her lip-syncing a sexy song” which made Ari highly uncomfortable. And you can see that the use of the word ‘uncomfortable’ is used so many damn times and that's saying something. The actions that ash has and had committed are all so fucking sick and she knows it, but cannot bear to admit it because of her ego.

Ash has also admitted to Eve that she is a narcissist, but excused it saying that she was a good narcissist like Harry styles. How did harry styles even correlate to the fact that she is a fucking narcissist, it baffled me?

Ash’s continual flirting wouldn’t be too much of a problem if it hadn’t convinced multiple people that she had a crush on them. It caused them to question if she liked them or if it was just her normal personality because she made no indications that she didn’t like them, however, she did all of that while admitting to having a crush on someone who also had a crush on her. They weren’t in a relationship because Ash “doesn’t like labels” but still apparently liked the person back. Ash refused to stop flirting with other people or set any kinds of boundaries to make it more obvious that Ash liked the person back. Ash repeatedly told the person that she liked them but didn’t like labels which led to more heartbreak on the person’s behalf. When they told Ash this, she simply said that she didn’t like labels and continued flirting with others in her normal manner. What Ash has done is prey on those who don’t feel love and those who want affection, people who want someone, anyone, to care about them, and she puts herself out there as someone who truly cares and wants the best for everyone and begins manipulating people in many different ways, hurting them over and over again but getting away with it because they think she cares about them. She tricks people into thinking that she is nice and caring and sweet but she’s a manipulative and lying person who doesn’t care for anyone but herself. Maybe she was friendly and normal in the beginning but as time goes by you can see just how much she has truly changed, especially when she started getting more attention. When she was first receiving hate anons and death threats she handled them well and loved herself but the minute she started getting attention, she became suicidal and depressed. Not to say that this couldn’t happen, but all of these events make you question if that’s even true. If it is true then of course we would wish that she would get better and make a recovery, but the evidence doesn't make it seem like she truly cares.

As you can see it’s become a problem, and we are all knowledgeable of how many ‘problems’ this app already has. Ash has not only sexualized, harassed, and pressured other people who may I might add trusted her but has also been proved to do this on multiple occasions. If you’ve heard the most recent news here I’m sure you understand our need to abolish such behavior to preserve our small community of mutuals. And maybe this type of stuff isn’t big for you or maybe you don’t care, but this is important because maybe it won’t affect you but it might affect your mutual or someone on here you don’t want this happening to. We’re not in any way threatening anybody here. We want everyone safe and we couldn’t imagine our lives without any of you but we preferred this to be out in the open so that you can make your own decisions. Whether you stick with Ash or acknowledge her unfair actions towards others. You may not want to hear this but it had to be said. Too many of us are getting hurt or discouraged and yeah, maybe it was just for attention in her eyes for ‘fun’. But she can’t possibly have this many ‘feelings’ for that many people, she can’t be able to take advantage of these people's kindness because she feels like it. It's not right, and it's not fair. If this has been done to you or you’ve ever felt uncomfortable talking to Ash we want you to know it's not uncommon for many people who aren’t comfortable sharing have said it's happened to them. If you’re interested or would like proof of evidence contact Eve, Jae, or Lia for more information including screenshots of these conversations. Please do not go to the blogs we’ve mentioned unless they trust you or are close to you. Any inconvenience you cause them won't be in anyone's favor. Hopefully bringing awareness to this situation will prevent further harm to others in the future, and we all sincerely hope that you will avoid Ash and her harmful ways after reading this post.

As of right now, Ash has tried guilt tripping multiple people including @thesunsetsonthehorizon and @angel4you . She has began playing her sad and alone card again in an attempt to guilt them into staying friends with her, but don’t fall for it. Do not listen to her, and if you choose to do so, block her.

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dykefight · 3 years

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I want to share some of the experiences of my loved ones and myself that started leading me to radical feminism

One of my best friends (currently a 19 year old college student) used to have an onlyfans and currently sells underwear online. She says that the most humiliating moments of her life happened on onlyfans and similar websites. She had guys ask things like would she have sex with her brother, could she cry on camera, or if she would piss herself for them. There were two men she encountered that still make me sick to think about. The worst one was a man who regularly paid for videos of her pretending like she was being raped by him without a condom. She would beg for him to stop, not to impregnate her, and she cried and screamed. She was not allowed to get any pleasure from it or she wouldn’t get paid. The man only found pleasure in the idea of a teenage girl being traumatized and abused. The other man paid her to dominate him over the phone. He wanted her to control every aspect of his life. He was nearly 30 at the time while she was 18. The worst part of this ordeal was that they knew each other from when she was around twelve or thirteen. During this time I watched her mental health rapidly decline. Her poor mental health ended up causing her to quit less than a year after starting her account. Now she sells underwear and the conditions are no better. She’s been asked to sell worn underwear, underwear she’s pissed in, underwear with her period blood in it, and underwear she’s worn while masturbating. She has been masturbating so frequently that her skin over her clit has begun peeling. The idea that this is empowering her as a woman makes me sick. It’s basically a form of self harm. Anytime I mention that she might need to slow down she explodes, ranting about how she loves doing it, how it’s good money, and that it’s her choice. No woman should be brainwashed into that mindset.

Two of my other friends have been coerced by their boyfriends into sex that they didn’t want. One of them was guilt tripped into having anal sex by her boyfriend. She didn’t want to have sex until marriage, which he already knew prior. She said he looked so disappointed that she felt like she had to let him do anal. She also said this was easily one of the most painful experiences of her life. She ended up being pressured into vaginal sex only a few weeks later. Another friend was VERY adamant about saving any kind of sex until marriage. Her boyfriend pretended like this was totally fine until around a year into their relationship. He starting persuading her into giving him handjobs and blowjobs, insisting that they were meaningless acts and no big deal. She complied but still wouldn’t let him do anything sexual to her. Eventually he got impatient and decided to touch her while she was asleep on a school trip. She admits to being scarred from this, but insists that he didn’t mean any harm and that he wouldn’t do it again. In March, they were at a party together and had a fight. My friend is known for being a lightweight. While she was furious and drunk, her boyfriend was barely tipsy. He apparently decided that the best way for her to get over it was to push her into a room and have sex even though she was fully unable to consent. At some point, someone walked into the room, saw them, and told everyone at the party about it, including complete strangers. People still bring it up to her like it’s some funny story. Neither of my friends see anything wrong with their boyfriends or their actions. I, along with mutual friends, have tried to bring it up but they insist that it was a one time thing, their boyfriends didn’t know any better, and that we’re being over dramatic. It hurts me to know that they’re just one of many girls who dismiss sexual assault just because they’ve never been told what is wrong in a sexual relationship.

My mom was raped by my father while they were dating. My mom was raised in a very religious family so she saw premarital sex as one of the ultimate sins. She was okay with everything except penetrative sex. At some point, they were naked together and he saw that as an invitation. She froze up and couldn’t bring herself to stop him. That was how she lost her virginity. It wasn’t until she told me that she realized he raped her and that was only because I told her. She didn’t know she was raped until over 30 years later. She said she always thought she asked for it since she was naked around him and let him get close enough for it. She didn’t know that there are multiple types of rape until much later in life, so she never connected the dots. If she had known, she might’ve been able to save herself from the abusive marriage that followed.

Speaking of my mother and her marriage, she was also taught that getting a divorce was a sin in the eyes of god, especially if the wife initiates it. My mom couldn’t bring herself to divorce him in the beginning and then once she had kids she couldn’t divorce him until she made sure he wouldn’t get joint custody of us. She suffered through 35 years of abuse all because of some bullshit she had forced upon her since she was young. My grandma on my moms side experienced the same thing and wouldn’t divorce my grandfather who cheated on her and had a child with another woman.

These last ones are my own personal experiences. I, like many women, have faced sexual assault multiple times. The first time was when I was 12 and sexually assaulted by my long time family friend who was 15. He was best friends with my cousin who I am very close to so he also became a friend of mine. We also went to the same school. One day the three of us were at my cousins house and I was sharing a blanket with the friend. Under the blanket, he began to brush his hand along my ass which I thought was an accident since we were on a small couch sharing a blanket meant for one person. It soon escalated to him grabbing my ass under my jeans and through my underwear and then cupping my boobs. This was all while my cousin sat five feet away. When I finally got the courage to get out I got a text from the guy begging me not to tell my cousin. It took me nearly a month to tell my family and the school. My family said they would cut all contact with his family and the school said they would make sure I never had to be around him in a school setting. However, almost immediately, my family went back to being friends with his family and my school went back on their promise. Even though the guy confessed and I had the texts as evidence, he faced no real repercussions. Another guy continually harassed me over the course of our freshman, sophomore, and junior year. He’d do things like grab me, slap my ass, stick his hand down my uniform, grind against me during class while I was bent over, and he always found new ways to contact me after being blocked. When I finally told a teacher mid junior year, the way the school “punished” him was by having his football coach talk to him. This is the same football coach that’s known to indirectly slut shame girls in front of everyone. The guys behavior towards me didn’t change so I just gave up. I was never taken seriously when these incidents came to light. Everyone just assumed it was something to brush off. That it’d go away after a gentle scolding. Even my peers who say they’re all about protecting and defending women basically responded with “that sucks” and moved on.

I turned to radical feminism because it’s given me a place to be heard. I can speak my mind. Even if someone doesn’t agree with me, they’ll have a civilized discussion or simply move on rather than start an argument.

#and there’s more obviously #radfem #terf safe #terfs do touch #gender critical #terfs please interact #radical feminism #drop the t #lgb #long post #sorry #mine

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nanagoswife · 3 years

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Noticing You, Noticing Me

Summary: You're the daughter of King Organa, but many outside of your kingdom don't know you. Your brothers Anakin and Varlo are the ones who are in the spotlight. Then your father holds a celebration in your kingdom for many others to attend. Will a certain someone notice you there?

W/C: 1.7k

Warnings: swearing, fighting, light angst

- - -

A knock sounded at your door.

“I didn’t know you were expecting anyone,” your eldest brother, Anakin said with a cheeky smile.

You rolled your eyes as you went to answer the door, “You know exactly who it is. This time, can you at least pull yourself together long enough to not drool over her before you leave.”

He couldn’t help but chuckle as he adjusted his position on his chair. “I’m afraid, little sis, that would be impossible with how close I am to marrying her.”

Once again you rolled your eyes before greeting your best friend, Padmé.

Anakin and Padmé had been together for as long as you could remember. It was a wonder that it took this long for them to get married. Yet, they still aren’t. Their wedding isn’t going to take place for nearly a year from now.

To your surprise, you were met by a very annoyed look on your friend’s face which immediately filled you with concern.

Before you could ask what happened, Padmé answered for you.

“Varlo is a right piece of shit,” she said angrily.

Although you couldn’t see, you knew Anakin had straightened in his seat as he listened. The smallest thing that happened to his fiancé tended to always throw him into an immediate protective mode. Well, that happened with whoever he was extremely close to.

“What did he do this time?” you asked as you guided her into the room. Varlo, your other older brother, had a tendency to be a bit of a pain. Although the two of you were super close, he could sometimes go too far. Especially when it came to people other than you and Anakin. The only person he didn’t mess with was any of the guard or your father, Bail Organa.

Your friend plopped down on the sofa beside Anakin’s chair with a sigh.

“Nothing today really,” she said, sighing once again. “Just playing games that I don’t have the energy to deal with today.”

“Would you like me to talk to him,” Anakin cut in, taking Padmé’s hand and gently massaging it. He was sitting on the edge of his seat, ready to go find Varlo to set him straight. You had to stop yourself from chuckling.

Padmé only shook her head, meeting Anakin’s gaze. Right then, was when you rolled your eyes for the millionth time as he did exactly what you asked him not to.

Clearing your throat, you took your place beside your friend.

“Anakin, didn’t you say you would meet Ahsoka, Sir Fisto and Sir Koon at the training grounds?”

An alarmed look took over your brother’s expression.

“Oh no. What time is it? They’re going to kill me if I’m late again.”

Both you and Padmé looked at each other with looks of amusement as Anakin shot out of his chair. After he gave her a quick kiss goodbye, he fled the room. You wouldn’t have been surprised if he ran to the training grounds.

The two of you burst into laughter once the door had closed.

“You’re marrying that,” you said through your laughter.

“True, but you’ve dealt with that your whole life. He’ll still be your problem.”

Padmé’s statement threw you into another fit of laughter.

Once the two of you had calmed down once again, you turned in your seat. She mirrored you.

“So, what brings you here today other than obviously wanting to be in the presence of the best person in the world?”

She beamed and looked as if she wanted to tease, until some sort of realization came over her. “Have you not yet heard?”

Confusion filled you. “Heard what?”

“About King Organa’s celebration at the castle next week. Has he not yet told you?”

You shook your head. “Anakin and I have been here all morning. So was Varlo for most of it.”

A look of understanding came over her. She knew how close you and your brothers were. So much so that the three of you would always find days where you would all spend time with each other. Whether it be in one room or going out to a nearby village to have some fun.

“I heard that King Qui-Gon Jinn and his son, Prince Obi-Wan Kenobi would be attending. There’s also…” Padmé trailed off when she saw your far off gaze. “Y/N?”

“Padmé, you know no one will notice me. Hardly anybody knows I exist. So many think my brothers are the only children of my father,” you replied as you felt your throat tighten. Although you tried not to think about it, it was still painful.

Padmé moved closer to you and took your hand with a caring smile.

“The only thing that matters is that we care for you. The people in the villages care about you and all the good you do for them and helping the poor. If other kingdoms don’t see you because they only see your brothers, who cares? Anakin and Varlo love you. Your father loves you. And you have me.”

You gave your friend a grateful smile. She always knew how to cheer you up, and this was no exception. Every time you felt like you would never be noticed, she always reminded you of how you were. Deep down, you knew you were. Other than your family and close friends, you also had people like Ahsoka, or Snips as Anakin likes to call her, and others like Rex, the head of the royal guard, and Sir Kit Fisto and Sir Plo Koon. Not to mention the multitude of guards that you were friends with. Especially Fives and Echo.

The more you thought of it, the bigger you smiled.

“See,” Padmé started as she squeezed your hand, “there you go. Your kingdom loves you.”

Before anymore could be said, another knock rang out through the room. When you answered, your father was there.

Looking over your shoulder, he chuckled, “I see you already found out about next week.”

“I did.”

When you looked over at your friend she couldn’t help but smile sheepishly. She tried her best to let your father, the king, be the one to give you the news of these things, but she usually got to you first.

You knew, though, that your father preferred it. He was busy enough so it was nice for him to save some time.

“I also wanted to tell you that the first guests will start arriving six days from now.”

For a moment you thought to yourself. “Father, that’s the day I said I would go to the Naboo village to assist in the set up of a small festival.”

Although it was true, your father knew of your true intentions. It’s not that you didn’t like greeting parties, but you knew you would most likely be looked over. So, in your mind, what was the point?

You were expecting your father to try and reason with you, but a sympathetic look came over him as he smirked.

“Alright, my sweet. At least promise me to tell Anakin-”

You opened your mouth to interject but he raised a hand to silence you.

“You get to tell him. Not only that, but you must also promise me to come to the ball that will be held.”

A smile crossed your lips at the mention of a ball. It was always a time where you and your brothers and Padmé could really have fun. Most of the night you and Varlo would dance together while you stole a couple dances with Anakin. If you weren’t dancing, you were with Padmé. Sometimes the two of you would sneak off and she would tell you of the gossip she had heard. Balls were events you hardly ever dreaded.

“It’s a deal then?” your father asked as you reminisced in the memories.

You smiled brightly as you caught a glimpse of your friend who still sat on the sofa. “Deal.”

“Come now, my prince. I heard that King Organa has a daughter,” Cody, Obi-Wan’s best friend and protector, said as they sparred.

Obi-Wan chuckled. “Do you really think I’m that desperate?”

Dodging his opponent’s strike, he was able to push Cody back far enough to where they were circling each other, looking for an opening. It was nearly impossible as the two have sparred with each other for so long that they knew every move the other was going to make before they could even act. This left this period of time to be dragged out as they used it to catch their breath, wiping sweat away from their eyes.

“Desperate? No. But you never know.”

“I wasn’t even aware that King Organa had a daughter,” Obi-Wan said as he finally broke the still moment.

Cody laughed, “Not many do. Not when you have two famous brothers like Anakin and Varlo overshadowing you.”

The two stayed silent for a moment as they fought each other off. Each block and strike being made with precision that drew the fight out longer.

“I guess you have a point,” Obi-Wan grunted out as he locked his sword with Cody’s, bringing them face to face.

“She does amazing things for her kingdom too. It’s a shame that no one pays attention to any of it.”

Obi-Wan felt a slight sense of guilt fill him. It only built as Cody explained more of what you’ve done for your people. How had he never heard of you? Why were none of your accomplishments well known in other kingdoms?

He got so lost in thought that he left an opening for Cody. Being the talented fighter that he is, he took it, throwing Obi-Wan to the ground and pointing his blunted sword to Obi-Wan’s throat.

“Are you sure ‘desperate’ isn’t the right word?”

“More like entranced, my friend,” Obi-Wan said with a fond smile at the commander.

Cody rolled his eyes before offering a hand to the prince. “I should mention her more often if it means I’ll win.”

Shaking his head with a soft chuckle, Obi-Wan turned to put away his training gear. Now thinking that the trip to your kingdom may not be too bad after all.

- - -

@stardancerluv @where-fantasy-meets-reality @jaydenwoo @madmax2003 @mackycat11 @generousrunawaydonut @imabeautifulbutterfly @animalgirl05 @blondekel77 @cosmicsierra

#obi wan x you #obi wan imagine #obi wan kenobi imagine #obi wan kenobi x reader #obi wan fanfiction #obi wan x reader #obi wan star wars #obi wan fic #obi wan #obi wan kenobi #obi wan kenobi x you #obi wan x y/n #royal au #obi wan au #qui gon jinn #qui gon/obi wan #commander cody #obi wan and cody #cody

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jaeminscoffee · 3 years

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Apologize | L. Hc

Pairing- Lee Haechan x reader

Genre- Initial angst, smut

Word count- 5.54k

Warning(s)- thick skinned oc, ego problems, argument, Hyuck almost hit's Y/n, angry/rough yet slow sex, riding, orgasm control, stern and slight brat tamer!hyuck, overstimulation. Lmk if i missed out any.

Synopsis- Why do you have to apologize when clearly Lee Haechan is to be blamed too?

Awkward.

That's how you'd coin the atmosphere around you and your boyfriend the past dating weeks.

Guilty.

That's how you'd felt ever since the day you'd decided to act out. For being a hypocrite and for being a pain in the ass.

Embarrassed.

That's how you'd felt after realising that you'd lashed out on him for no rational reason. For losing your temper at him hanging out with a female who'd coincidentally been your rival. She loved him, and god knows if she still does.

Worried.

You're anxious that your pettiness would drive him away from you to someone better, possibly the said rival and so you're worried.

But would you want to play the saint's role and go apologize? No.

You can't, not while knowing what his reaction would be. Knowing Lee Donghyuck, he'd get cocky. He'll do anything and everything in his power to indulge you in embarrassment. Guilt trip you a while later and demand you'd be a good girl from then forth. Why would you want to do that? Come to think of it, he's one to be in fault too.

Knowing full well that you'd have a distaste towards Lena, Donghyuck should've known better than publicise the fact that he'd openly hung out with his girlfriend's rival.

He owes you an apology too when you word it that way.

Haechan's mood can be summarized in three words, confused, frustrated and disappointed.

You are the only one glowing in his eyes and he made sure you'd know that. And for someone like him being treated with such disrespect, he was fuming.

It's not that he intentionally went ahead and planned a hangout with Lena, it just so coincidentally happened that one of his groupmate's her boyfriend, so meeting her was inevitable and Haechan was more than ready to explain it to you, in a calm, civil manner.

But you just won't listen.

Not to mention the holiday you'd planned all over last week for a road trip with the gang now seems to be the last thing on his mind now when that was the same thing he'd been so hyped up about.

You just had to spoil it all for him.

That explains why Haechan's furiously throwing his clothes into the baggage in order to calm down before whatsoever he's about to face while planning out a strategy to talk things out with you before the trip.

Surely, his ego's too big to apologize that quick but at the same time, he wasn't petty enough to spoil the atmosphere during the trip, the gang didn't deserve that.

And so with one last cloth thrown into his luggage, he seals the zip and grabs his car keys from the side table with a new-found determination to resolve the conflict before the traveling that's going to take place in three hours to four from now.

Haechan's going to make it right and he'd make sure of it.

You weren't expecting Haechan's visit at the same time you aren't shocked that he's entered your private space with no prior notice, you'd given him the spare keys afterall.

"Y/n, we need to talk"

You hear him close behind you but you pay no mind, continuing to walk back and forth from your wardrobe to your bed, where your package lay spread out, folded in a neat manner and ready to be put inside the luggage you'd get along for your vacation later that evening.

"Y/n, I said we need to talk." Haechan says with a lot more sternness than before, his voice octaves lower than his usual bubbly voice.

"I think the talking can wait until later, Donghyuck." you reply with a flat tone, calling out his governmental name in order to irk him up.

"No it can't. Speak it out, love. Let's resolve this now" He reached out to hold your forearm to turn you around so that you're facing him, the look of distaste on your face adding up to his rotten mood.

"What's there to talk about, Hyuck? I'd told you time and time again that i don't like you around her and what do you do? Go hang out with her! Oh to have a boyfriend who actually listens to you" you peel yourself away from him as though his touch disgusts you.

It didn't.

It's just the courage that you'd gathered up to make sure you'd ask for forgiveness on call before the trip was all thrown out of the window due to Haechan's surprise visit. With him in front of you right now, you could do nothing but blurt out the words coming up first without censoring it and you were aware of that.

That Haechan's ready to put up a fight.

"She just so happened to be in the group, Y/n i told you that a hundred times already"

"And she just so happened to be the same person who'd been nothing but rude to me because you chose me over her, totally understandable" you reply in sarcasm.

"What do you expect me to do then? Ask Sungchan not to bring her along?" He replied with the same venomous tone you carried, slowly growing tired of this pointless argument.

"No, Haechan. I would've appreciated it if you'd come and told me yourself that she was there! I hate that I had to find it out from Jaemin who didn't even know I was kept in the dark from that information! That made me feel like I knew little to nothing about you!"

"You know that's not true, princess.." Haechan answered with a softer tone, feeling guilty at the fact that your voice had grown smaller and smaller with each passing word.

"I do not know what's true at this point, Hyuck. I don't even know if you love me enough to let me what's going on in your life at this point."

"Don't cross the line, Y/n."

His voice goes back to the sternness it first carried as a warning. Getting mad at him for not informing you things is one but questioning his love was another. That's not a topic up for speaking.

No one can question his feelings, which is so genuine that if a stranger were to walk past the couple you two make they'd know from the first look that Haechan's head over heels for you. He'd kill anyone for you, that's how much he loves you.

"I'm crossing the line? Me? Are you sure, Donghyuck? Because from how I remember it, you did it the first time by hanging out with your girlfriend's enemy without her knowing! Do you even know what would've been my possible thought process at that time?" You ask furiously,

Haechan was dubious to pose out an answer, so he just let you continue your rant.

"Do you know how i felt when i saw the story you'd put up with her right next to you being all clingy? How I felt when you didn't pick up my calls or reply back to my texts when I tried reaching out for some sort of assurance that whatever you have with her is platonic and that you're still mine? How i felt when Jaemin was going on about how much she'd been laughing at all you were doing and how you'd enjoyed the reaction?" Your voice quivers the more you continue.

"The answer is no. You don't know anything so just, stop trying to spoil this trip for me and let's take a break. We need it."

"Break?" Haechan inquires with extreme shock evident in his voice.

"Yes, a break. Maybe that'll help you realise who you actually have feelings for."

"Y/n that is so uncalled for, you're making a mountain out of a molehill! Why are you making such a big deal out of this?" You flinch at the sudden raise in his voice which had your knees buckle due to the loudness, which, for that matter, you'd heard only once before when you were being careless with dangerous kitchen tools.

"This is a whole load of bullshit, doll. Do you not trust me enough?" Haechan nears you, his voice dropping low due to frustration, hurt, and disbelief. He'd never seen you be this petty before.

You back away with each of his step forward, "Maybe I don't! Which is why i think i deserve a bre-"

"Come again?" He strides closer, his gaze growing darker, more stern, angry, with each step. In an utter furious state as you for starters, were questioning his feelings. And now had been questioning your trust for him.

"I said I don't know if I trust you enough now, Haechan! I'm telling you i need a brea-"

"Enough!" He took one last step and you'd had no space between you and him, with the wall behind you acting as a barrier to block you from escaping.

The sudden act of force posed to your body by Haechan practically slamming you onto the wall made your back and the back of your head hurt from the impact, and a groan escapes your lips, but all the softness was long gone from Haechan's features as he didn't show any signs of inquiring if you're okay or not.

No.

He seemed like he would murder you if you'd dare speak up now. You'd successfully pushed his last button.

"You're being over dramatic, darling. One, don't act as though you've never hung out with the guys I'd specifically asked you not to. Two, yes, i hung out with her and so what? Was it a date? Was I the only one there alongside her? No. It was a group meeting that, for a matter of fact, I'd invited you to join but what did you do? You said you didn't want to tag along."

"What's gotten into you, doll. You've never reacted this way before" Haechan reaches out to caress your cheeks, which made you flinch at the contrast of his actions, his words and his expression at that point of time.

"Look at me when I'm talking to you." You don't. Which resulted in him harshly grabbing your chin, tilting it up to see a slight quiver on your lips.

"And speak up. You seemed to have a lot to question just a moment ago, what happened now?" See, this is exactly what you hated. That one way or the other, he'd have you cornered, feeling small with him clearly making it evident who has the upper hand.

"Nothing, Haechan. Nothing happened. I did have a lot to question and i still do, don't think i'd get scared of you by you acting all barks and no bites. I still need a fucking break why don't you understa-!"

The grip he had on your chin tightened, his other hand raised in reflex, hovering in the air as though it's ready to strike you any minute.

"Know your limits, Y/n. This is pointless and if you're still sane enough to be considered the Y/n i started dating then you'd know you're being irrational and it's starting to fuck me up."

"And? You're going to hit me for that? You think i'm not the Y/n you started dating? You're no less than me, Donghyuck!" You try pushing at his shoulders in order to create space, that only makes Haechan drop his hands from your chin to your hands, pinning it to the walls, hard enough to prevent any movement.

"I'm not going to hit you, doll. You know that." Haechan sighs.

"Do i? Do I really?" You're practically shaking part from fear, part from anxiousness and part from the fact that you know you're making things harder to settle down.

"I'm telling you, it was nothing but a harmless hangout and I'm sorry for not letting you know, but..can we just move on? Forget this? This is so pointless."

"Must be pointless enough for you, Hyuck. Not for me. I mean it when i say i need a fucking break or else I'll make shit even worse. I'm heading over to Jeno's, meet you at the campsite." You jerk yourself away from Haechan's vice grip. Giving him one last look with those broken eyes of yours, you head over to your luggage and grab it, before heading out of the door in a quick movement, preventing Haechan from even blurting out the first syllable of your name.

When he hears the door slam all the way from the living room, he loses it.

"Goddammit, why did you decide to act up now of all times."

You're actually happy the group is big enough to take two travel vehicles because you didn't bump into Haechan after that heated argument you had back at the apartment.

You, Jeno, Jaemin, Mark and Jisung went out in one car while Renjun, Chenle, Shotaro Haechan and Sungchan followed close behind in the second vehicle.

You'd almost completely forgotten about all that took place with the guys constantly cracking out jokes, lame one considering Jeno, Mark and Jisung's dynamic had been put together to make this really chaotic, pointless yet hilarious conversations.

"No, dude literally. Sung has a point! Waffles literally are just pancakes with abs-Y/n stop giving me that look" Mark tries justifying.

"Mark, you're making my head hurt please stop." Jeno lets out a sneer from the driver's seat while Jaemin, who's seated beside you, pats your head in pity. "I go through this all day every day, love. You'll get used to it eventually. If you don't, though, we'll plan a strategy to just lock Mark up in a freezer or something."

"Seems like a plan to me" you shrug at Jaemin, leaning down to rest your head on his shoulder as your neck had started to cramp from the funny positions you'd craned it in to get into a comfortable position.

Jaemin welcomed you with a gleeful squeak, pulling you closer by snaking his hands between your body and the seat to wrap it around your waist which only made things more comfortable for you.

A tiny nap before the actual escapade wouldn't hurt now, would it?

"Guys! Chenle's on facetime! Say hiiii!" you hear Jisung say in a sing-song voice, but you did nothing to get up to greet the lad, instead snuggling closer to Jaemin when you felt his other hand come up to your head and thread through the tresses. You let out a sound of appreciation which made Jaemin's chest rumble from the chuckle he'd let out.

"Oh man! I wanted to show Y/n this cool beetle we caught."

Haechan, already sour from the incidents prior, had been uncharacteristically quiet. When inquired about he'd say "Ah, i didn't sleep at all last night so I'm feeling a little blue". The boys had granted him permission to just recharge and sit back while they made the road trip spicy.

Obviously, Chenle wanted to show off to his best friend that he could still be the life of the party with or without Jisung's presence and so decided to facetime the guy.

Curiosity strikes Haechan at the sound of the younger's idea and sits up straight in order to look into Chenle's screen while still making sure he is out of the frame.

"Y/n's asleep?" Renjun inquires from Chenle's other side, peeping into whatever's being displayed on the screen. The image of you all cuddled up with Jaemin filling it up.

Haechan could do nothing about it, other than fume silently in anger while the guys coo at your cuteness, "You need to wake her up soon though, we're 5 minutes away from the cabins," Sungchan says from the driver's seat.

"I'll just carry her out, I'm pretty sure I'll be sent to the depths of tartarus if I woke up this sleeping beauty. " Jaemin hushes with a lopsided grin and Haechan well, seemed like he'd rupture any moment.

Hypocrite.

You'd woken up minutes before reaching the destination due to the rocky ride.

Jeno had decided to derail at the last minute, exclaiming he'd found a shortcut to the place when in all reality, it was a longer route. You weren't complaining though.

The view change definitely helped you calm your wits, almost as though you never were in a bad mood so you'd decided to leave that behind for your city life and just decided to go with the flow of nature from this point forward.

And you'd only silently hoped your boyfriend would've been doing the same.

"You okay, princess?" you snap your head to look at Jaemin who'd broken you out of your trance. "Yeah, why'd you ask?" you reply, smiling at him.

"You seemed a little lost..?" he states almost as though questioning himself whether they're the right choice of words. "Oh? I guess I'm just in awe of the view, it's ethereal" you look out of the window once again, Jaemin following you suit.

"You're in awe of the view when you get to see yourself in the mirror everyday? Wow." Jaemin smiles at you with a teasing glint evident on his face.

"Yo if Haechan would've been here you'd be spitting out your death rights" Jeno voices out with a chuckle. "Nah, Y/n would stop him from murdering me, I've got free will" Jaemin replies, shooting you a wink.

You smile at their tactics with a shake of your head and just hope to spread this same joy to Haechan, and apologize, and get it over with, just like how he'd wanted. You're thankful to have this time off from him, the boys helping you unknowing of your fight with Haechan.

You're going to make this right.

Sungchan and team reached first a few minutes away from the campsite near to where the cabins were located, oblivious to the fact that you guys had derailed.

Haechan hadn't spoken a word ever since he saw his girlfriend all over his best friend, much to Renjun's dismay.

Renjun didn't bother inquiring though, no matter how enthralled he'd been, he kept quiet to himself because from the looks of Haechan's face, there is a high chance that his neck would be snapped if he tried talking to the lad.

Haechan still didn't utter a word even while helping unload the trunk as he'd not want to come of as a useless ticking time bomb so he decided to power work and lend an extra hand, also being the first to stomp his way towards the cabin he'd be sharing with you, mindful to not lock it incase you'd arrive.

Oh now you owe him an apology, alright.

You'd reached not that long after the first group of guys.

You were a little disappointed that the pretty motions of the trees flying past you had come to a static. But nevertheless, content at the sight of nature all surrounding you.

You make your way towards the cabin you'd be residing in after the guys constantly insisting that they do not need your help and that you deserve to rest up.

You open the door without thinking much, a smile of bliss apparent on your face only for it to morph into a petrified look at the sudden moment of you being pulled into the room and the door aggressively being slammed shut. "Ah!"

"Did you have fun?" You open your eyes to see Haechan, a little too intimidating for you to keep an eye contact, talk to you with a smirk on his face.

"I asked did you have fun, doll face, i need my answer to that" his other hand comes up to your cheeks, caressing it just like how he'd done this morning, this time, with much more softness that before which had a sick feeling boil up at the pit of your stomach.

"H-huh?" you question, genuinely confused on what he's talking about.

"Was it fun having full attention of your boyfriend's best friend? Was it fun throwing yourself completely at him? Hm?" His gaze darkens, scaring you a little, "Haechan what are you on-"

"Save it. Strip."

Haechan orders while walking away towards the bed after making sure he'd shut the bolt tight to prevent anyone from barging in.

He seats himself down dead in the middle of the bed, waiting for you to comply with a raise of his eyebrows. "Hyuck, let's talk this-"

"Talking things out with you had never been an option, love. I need to show you who's in charge here all over again. So, be quick, strip before i do it myself." His voice carried a threatening tone to it, which stopped from rebelling against his words, knowing you'd just be digging your own grave then.

You slowly reach out to the buttons of your shirt with trembling hands, unbuttoning them one after the other at your own pace which seemed to slow for Haechan. "Faster. Leave the skirt on."

Haechan puts out his next order, leaning forward to rest his elbows over his knees, his eyes following the moment of your hands which were now tugging your shirt away from your body.

"Oh, Y/n..You were all over Jaemin, your body flush against his when you'd worn no fucking bra inside the shirt?" oh no..

"Drop to your knees."

"Hyuck, listen to-"

"I'd not talk if i were you, darling. Do not fucking speak unless spoken to or you're just going to make things worse for yourself. Drop." He said with a lot more sternness and venom, the tone in his voice almost making it seem like he's disgusted with your entire being.

Oh how the tables have turned.

You do as he said and drop to your knees, not caring of the fact of how your knees scrape against the wooden tiles. "Crawl up to me."

You don't fight it, your entire being wanting to shrink and just disintegrate into dust from all the embarrassment you're being put through which, weirdly, only added to the growing arousal between your legs.

You slowly crawl up to him, not too slowly, being mindful not to piss him off any further. The uncomfortable feeling on your knees and the stickiness gathering on your panties were given a blind eye as your main goal remained to not tick Haechan off anymore.

"Good girl.. So you can follow orders when asked to, huh?" you somehow managed to make out that he wasn't really posing the question at you so you decide to stay silent, eyes on his shoes and your hands on your knees.

If you were to describe the look Haechan carried the exact moment with you kneeled down in front of him, you'd describe it as one that the hunter carries while his prey falls right into his trap. You felt small.

"Look at me, doll" He leans forward further as you silently look up at him.

A fond smile makes its way onto Haechan's features at your subtle innocence. He reaches out to grip your chin in a firm yet soft grip, tilting your head further up. "How pretty.."

His palm engulfs your entire face as you lean into his warmth, forgetting ever so slightly about the grave trouble you'd gotten yourself in. His fingers trail up the side of your face, the thumb soothing your lips. A firm press following right after in a silent order, you comply.

You open your mouth a little wide for Haechan to slip his digits in, which he does. You raise your gaze higher to look at him before wrapping your lips around his fingers, sucking it as though your life depends on it.

"It's a pity I have to ruin you so that you'd know just how bad you've been." he growls, pulling you up with a sharp tug of your chin as you lift yourself off the ground and onto Haechan's lap while he crashes his lips on yours.

You let out a whimper as the rushed kiss you two share, your hands finding home at Haechan's shoulder to keep yourself anchored, only for him to grab both your hands and lock it behind your back with his own.

The kiss is messy, very sloppy, rushed and anyone crazy enough to be watching it would know who has the upper hand as Haechan lowers his lips to your jaw, scattering red-purple marks all over. His free hand goes up to your hair, brushing the strands out of the way in a very contrasting manber from his roughness at your jaw.

He makes a makeshift ponytail out of your hair and yanks it back hard enough to expose more of the neck as you let out a sound of pain. "Haechan, slow down p-.. Please" you whine out

"Don't fucking tell me what to do, love." He bites particularly hard at your soft spot, making you bite down hard on your lips to stop any extremely loud, pornographic sounds from escaping your throat.

Haechan wasn't having any of that bullshit.

With a swift move, you're under him. Your panties are long thrown somewhere behind your boyfriend, your skirt still in place but lifted up to your torso to expose your glistening flower to him.

You felt helpless.

All exposed to him, all worked up from just a short make out, eyes blown out from pleasure and neediness. You must've looked pathetic in his eyes.

"Please.." you beg for nothing in particular, just getting the sudden feeling to be Haechan's good little girl else he would snatch away all your source of pleasure with just a blink of his eyes.

"Hm? Please what, darling?" His fingers graze over your wetness, letting out a smug 'tsk' as your essence spread all over his fingers.

"Pl-please!" you choke out and the feeling of his warmness touching you where you needed him the most, slightly embarrassed at how sensitive you'd gotten just from a little manhandling from his end.

"Go further than just a mere please, Y/n. Or is it that you're already too far gone to say shit that's coherent?" he thumbs at your clit with all the wetness that's collected.

"Good. I like you just like that. Dumb, needy and an obedient little girl. Will you be nice throughout your punishment and not make it harder for the both of us, love?"

You moan out in reply when you feel a slender finger of his slip into your hole with ease. "Yes! Yes, I'll be good, just please.." you whine in submission. "Please don't stop.." you become breathless pretty quick.

"Oh I won't, doll face. Don't worry about that." Haechan states as though he has something planned for you, which is part true. But he also wouldn't dare stop as he watches your expressions morph into a state of bliss.

"Haechan..!" you jolt when he inserts a second finger, picking up speed, which pulled you dangerously close to your first high.

"Oh my? Cumming already? I thought you were better than this, babe" He talks as though he isn't just drilling his digits into your wetness.

The adding of pressure on your clit was the last string to topple you over to the edge, your hips lifting high off the bed, eyes screwed shut as you indulge yourself in pleasure, only for you to choke out a cry when you feel Haechan throw a hand over your hip, pinning to the bed, his head now between your legs, lapping out the last bits of your orgasm.

"Hyuck, wait! I'm sensitive!" you reach out to place your hand on top of his head, not sure whether you want to pull him closed or tug his head away.

You feel his lips form a smirk, his free hands moving down to insert digits in you while his tongue worked magic on your clit.

"That's the point, darling. Now stay put or I'll make sure you come more than just twice."

You pull yourself out of your dilemma and tug him closer, hearing him mumble out a "good girl" against your clit.

There's something so sinful about the squelching sounds of his fingers driving in and out of you, the way he laps at your clit, making sure to slurp all your essence up which had the knot tighten at the bottom of your stomach once again. "Close again?"

"Uh-huh!" you let out in a screechy voice that would've had you cringing if you weren't so far gone into pleasure. You hear a growl from below you, the last anchor being left off the hook.

"Good, let go for me."

And you oblige. You twitch in overstimulation as Haechan slurps up your essence all over again, leaving you drained, tired and twitching beneath him.

Haechan pulls himself up once he's satisfied enough, his chin glistening, a lopsided grin present on his face, "Taste yourself for me" He mutters quickly before clashing his lips onto yours while he keeps himself hoisted with one hand, the other working on removing his jeans.

He shifts your position again after quickly making a move of discarding his shirt across the room, leaving him to be as bare as you.

Haechan pulls you up, making you sit up as he watches you basically drool over his shaft, his smirk only growing wider with pride. "Hungry for more, babe?"

You nod enthusiastically, not trusting your voice. And you thank the lords as Haechan didn't force you to speak up this time, "Then you have to work for it, darling. Go ahead, ride me."

You waste no time and get to work, shocking both yourself and the lad at your tireless nature as you pump him a few times before aligning his member along your entrance, you don't plan on going slow as you just sit yourself down, engulfing him completely inside you, earning a satisfied groan from Haechan.

Haechan brings his hands to rest them upon your hips as you slowly lift yourself up once again, reaching out to hold his shoulder for support before easing down, you feel his thighs twitch underneath you.

"Oh love, you're amazing" Haechan praises you as you bounce to keep the motion going, picking up the pace to make him feel better as his fingers dig into your sides.

"Hyuck.."

You soon grow tired though, your legs giving out from tiredness, causing you to slow down, "Hyuck, i can't.. I-i'm tired" you almost let out a sob.

"Aw my, my poor baby.. Too bad, i can't help you here, love. Work for the pleasure, work to please me, come on, don't disappoint me all over again, doll"

You let out an actual cry out of desperation, using the last bit of strength you could muster up to keep the action going, gasps and breaths of exasperation leaving you with each bounce.

The look of complete submission, wanting to please him and determination made Haechan growl as he feels you clenching around his members, making him unintentionally buck his hips up to meet your hips in the middle, earning a yelp from you.

"Haechan, I'm close..pl-please" you cry out louder with each of yours and Haechan's hip moment, the melanin of his skin covered in sweat, glistening in the dimly lit cabin, his face morphed into that of utter bliss and the sinful sounds he let out makes you grow frantic.

"I can feel it, darling. I can feel it. I'm close too. Let go for me"

You cum with a loud cry, as your actions seize up completely to help you calm down. You jump when you feel his palm come in contact with your ass,

"I asked you to cum, baby. Not to stop. Keep moving just a little bit more, I'm almost there" He growls at you, both his hands finding refuge on your ass.

"I can't, I really can't! Hyuck,-" You cry out real cries, fresh tears falling out,

"Move." Haechan commands paying no attention to your pleas. After all, this is your punishment.

You bounce up slowly again, your entire lower body protesting in pain, as you sob, working up the heat beneath once again.

The sight Haechan got pulled him ridiculously close to his high, your hair disheveled, tears running down your face, sobs leaving your throat as you try your hardest to keep moving.

Haechan wanted you to come one last time..

So the moment he felt himself twitch inside you, he removes one hand from your bottom and brings it to rub your clit in rapid motions. You're sensitivity getting the best of you as you drop down on him completely with a cry loud enough you're pretty sure the others heard you.

You both end together, with a loud growl escaping Haechans throat as he lazily thrusts up to ride his high out, immediately stomping when he hears your cries and how you've shut your legs tightly close

"It's okay, it's over, baby, you did so well.." he's quick to pull you into a warming embrace, cooing at you, wiping your tears away.

He doesn't speak up for a while, humming soft tunes to calm you down.

"Hyuck.. Listen I'm sorry-" you start with a hoarse voice.

"Shh, no. You don't have to apologize for anything, just rest up, hm? I'll wake you up before dinner"

577 notes · View notes

handonhaven · 2 years

Note

Hope and Landon’s relationship is literally codependent and it’s been shown repeatedly how it is bad for both of them but especially her, but of course her friends are toxic for having a back bone and not wanting to be put in danger to try and bring Landon back from the dead, and for trying to show Hope how to function w/o him uh-huh. No wonder you romanticise her not wanting to wake up when Landon dies, and Landon being her humanity, and her poster quote being abt Landon. You only care about Hope when she is being used to prop up Landon no matter how much it hurts her and the people around her.

Anon, if you hate Handon so much, why are you even here? Why are you spending time looking at my posts? My blog clearly bothers you a lot, why not block me? If you can’t see the good that Hope and Landon have done for each other, how they make each other happy and bring out the best in each other, how Landon helped Hope from the very start of the show when no one else did, how being with Hope has pushed Landon to be better as well, then idk what to tell you. You’re clearly not paying attention the show. Their relationship is not in any way bad for either of them. The separations and hardships they go through, which have mostly come as a result of them making sacrifices for everyone else, is what has been so hard for both of them, as it would be for any relationship. Being deeply affected when your happiness with the person you love is constantly under threat and when they keep getting ripped away from you and wanting to fight for them does not equal codependency, it’s just a natural reaction when you truly love someone. And it’s sad that people feel the need to twist that love into something negative. Hope isn’t a cold, disloyal person who quickly forgets about people after she loses them the way some fans seem to want her to be. And her friends are toxic because they expect her to do everything for them while they give nothing in return, they aren’t there for her, they have continuously guilt-tripped her for prioritizing Landon over them once, and gaslighted her into doing what they want, they see her as a weapon and want to use her, etc. And how have they ever tried to show Hope how to “function without him”? They all did absolutely nothing to support her or help her when she was struggling in season 3. All they did was show that they wanted her to stop caring about him, and in the most insensitive way possible. And they still couldn’t care less about her actual feelings now, they don’t even mention how she feels or what she had to do that caused her humanity to turn off, they’ve shown no compassion. And when it comes to Hope not waking up in 3x01 because she couldn’t face the grief of losing Landon and didn’t want to be without him, she had also literally wanted to die and stay with Hayley at peace in TO after she died, do you criticize Hope’s relationship with her mother too? People are affected by grief in different ways, and what they did with Hope in 3x01 made sense for her character. So yeah, I have talked about it and have posted parallels about it, since it is similar to her turning off her humanity now, if that’s what you wanna call “romanticizing” it. And there’s nothing wrong with me, and tons of other fans, thinking that Landon is gonna be the one to get Hope to turn her switch back on and to come back to herself and feel again? And idk how I “romanticized” the poster? It’s just a poster... pretty sure I said that I don’t think it’s such a big deal the way people are making it, it wasn’t the only Hope poster, and that, whether people like you like it or not, Handon is still the main couple of the show. So it’s not that weird that they had another poster of her with a quote about Landon, they had his quote on his poster about Hope too. And those things are not about Hope “propping up” Landon, it’s just about their love for each other. And you’ve clearly not really been reading or understanding my posts if you think I only care about Hope when she’s “propping up” Landon. I’ve been a Hope fan for a very long time, long before Landon was first introduced. And I’ve talked a lot on this blog about just Hope as her own character that’s got nothing to do with her “propping up” Landon. And if you think her relationship with him has hurt her and other people, you should rewatch the show. Her losing him has hurt her, as anyone would be hurt when losing someone they love over and over. And there’s not been one time that anyone has been hurt because of her loving Landon. She literally only did one risky thing one time in 3x08, didn’t even know about the danger of the dark magic, and no one got hurt.

#answered

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thr-333 · 4 years

Text

Just Another Class Trip :) Part 5

If you don’t get to fight Batman on your class trips I feel sorry for you because Marinette did and she had a great time. Besides from the fact the miracle box went missing that was kind of a downer.

First< Previous >Next

-------------------------

“Marinette Dupain-Cheng!” Chloe yells at her, Marinette pops her head up through the trash, “Just what do you think you’re doing?!”

“I’m looking for something Chlo,” Marinette tries not to betray the panic in her voice.

“You did not ditch us today to search the trash!” Chloe practically screeches, stomping her foot.

“Chloe! I just really, really need to find this ok?!” Chloe actually recoils at Marinette snapping at her, guilt claws at her, adding more scratches to her conscience, “Sorry, I’m just stressed,”

“You need to relax Mari,” Chloe sighs, she cant, she cant! She cant! “I will only forgive you if you come upstairs and have a shower right now ,”

Marinette glances to Tikki, who nods. They’ve searched the trash here three times over, the Miracle box isn’t here. She lets Chloe lead her upstairs, the ground feels like it's swaying under her feet. The pressure like she’s about to vomit has persisted for hours.

“I will be standing right here, so don’t even think about leaving before you are rid of that smell,” Chloe pushes her into the bathroom.

“Tikki what am I supposed to do,” Marinette curls into herself, as soon as the door closes “I looked everywhere, it-it’s gone ,”

“It’s alright Marinette I’m sure you’ll find it, you just need to think things through,” Tikki pats her arm, not blaming her even once, making everything so much worse.

“Exactly, so chin up,” Kaalki commands, Marinette listens looking at the hovering Kwami with swimming vision, “Now make a theory and we’ll work from there,”

“Only Adrien was in the apartment but he didn’t take it,” Marinette works through her thoughts, “I know he wouldn't have,”

“Good,”

“He was gone for two hours talking with Chloe and Kagami,”

“Exactly,”

“So someone stole it during that time,” Marinette had already concluded that but it was nice to lay it all out, “I thought it was Lila, but she would have just thrown it out,”

“Or,”

“Or kept it,” Marinette gets the picture, formulating a plan, “I have to search her room, as Starling they can get away with it,”

“Good I’ll transport you in there,” Kaalki nods, dipping into her bag to get a sugar cube, “Now change,”

Marinette listens and within minutes they are in Lila's room. The shower running back in Chloe's room. Starling pokes around the room, searching under the bed and in the closet. She spreads out to the whole apartment since Lila isn’t sharing with anyone.

She is opening the oven when the door opens. She freezes, coming eye to eye with Lila. In a split second Starling darts into the bathroom.

“Come out of there!” Lila bangs on the door, “Who are you! I’m calling the police!”

Marinette doesn't give her the chance, teleporting out of the bathroom.

Chloe fights to make her come to dinner that night. Marinette doesn't have the strength to argue and so is dragged along, glaring at Lila from across the table. Lila just looks smugly back, she has to know where the Miracle box is, she just has to.

“Is that the new Wayne?” Marinette hears someone across the restaurant whisper.

Wonder who they’re talking about

“The one with the pink scarf?”

“Take a picture!”

If Marinette could summon the energy she would go over and ask what they meant. Or tell them they had the wrong person. Instead she just hides her face in her arms, lying on the table.

“Head off the table,” Madame Bustier chides, Marinette listens, but doesnt bother answering.

“Oh Marinette,” Lila’s voice is so grating she is ready to send her head through the table, “You look just terrible, what happened?”

You

“Are you ok Marinette,” Rose asks, she was actually nice to Marinette either unaware of the divide or not caring, “Do you want to go back?”

Marinette supposes Lila never had to lie about her to Rose. As she was already running around after Lila trying to make sure she was comfortable, Marinette just fell by the wayside. Either way Marinette can see that changing in the near future with how livid Lila looks that Marinette got the slightest bit of positive attention.

“I know jetlag can be bad, with all my travels,” Could you get to the part where you antagonise me already? “But don’t you think you’re being a bit dramatic?

“Sure Lila,” Marinette sighs, actually getting a few shocked gasps from the class.

They all probably thought that if Lila said the sky was blue Marinette would disagree. Well she would probably double check. Plus the sky is black at night. And multicoloured during sunrise and sunset. You know what? Screw it, Marinette would not trust Lila if she said the sky is blue.

“So Lila,” Alya speaks up, “ What's the worst jet lag you’ve ever had?”

“Well..”

Marinette doesn’t bother listening. She does get the side eye from Alya.

This doesn't mean I like you

Feelings mutual buddy

However it does allow her to lean against Kagami for the rest of the night and doze off. Marinette doesn't pay anymore attention to Lila’s lies the rest of the night until it comes to getting back to the hotel. They are all piling into taxis when Lila weasels her way into getting her own. Covertly Marinette slides a hundred to the driver and sends them to a less than savoury part of town. Now it’s just up to Starling to keep up.

Luckily for her Lila decides to be an idiot, and actually gets out of the car. So Starling drops in front of her when the taxi drives off.

“You!” Lila backs up into the alley, really ?

“You stole something,” Starling stalks forward, appearing every bit of threatening as a sleep deprived guardian of the miraculous can be, which is pretty fucken scary when the Miracle box is on the line, “Where is it!”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Lila tears up.

“Do not lie to me ,” Starling punctuates the threat by bending a discarded metal pipe in half.

Lila squeaks, as she backs up against the wall, Starling cages her in.

“WHERE IS IT!”

The absolute terror on Lila’s face is so gratifying for a moment. Then a cold terror runs down Marinette as Lila smiles. The same smile that promises to ruin her life every day.

“Help!” Lila cries, her voice quavering in a poor imitation of the actual fear she just saw, “Please anyone!”

Anyone turns out to be the hand on her shoulder that rips Starling back. They go to grab her arm but she flips out of their grasp, getting enough distance to come face to face with The Batman!

Before she can even think about formulating a response Batman lashes out, going straight for her gut. Starling side steps, twisting around to stand in Batman’s blind spot, making him turn to see her.

“Why are you attacking a civilian?” He demands, a knife she dodges barely grazing her cheek.

“She stole something,” Marinette drops down as he swings a punch at her head.

“That’s not true!” Lila cries, huddled up against the wall, “They broke into my hotel room today! And then they attacked me! They’re trying to kidnap me!”

“She’s lying!” Apparently that’s not convincing enough as she dodges a kick, having to roll away, thankfully towards the exit.

She tries to make a run for it, getting halfway up the fire escape of the next building when a Batarang pins her cape down. She tears it out, throwing it back at the shadow who hangs in midair.

Wow that is not aerodynamic at all

She watches as it tapers off to the side, falling to the ground. Batman swings onto the staircase of the fire escape. She dodges, she slips on a stair, losing her balance. Batman aims a punch for her sternum she has no choice but to block. It hurts getting an armoured glove full impact onto her relatively light arm guards. In her defense she never prepared to fight The Batman.

He seems to be taken aback that she is able to block his punch, or is re-planning. She takes the opportunity to use her bit of super strength to push him off the fire escape, double checking he still has his grappling hook. He falls down as she bolts up the stairs. By the time she reaches the top he is already on the roof

She has no weapons to defend herself against another Batarang. She can’t slip away like she did last time so has no choice but to dodge.

“I don’t want to fight you!” She yells, rolling out of the way of another Batarang.

“I’m sure you don’t,”

“Not like that!” There's no reasoning with him then, he made up his mind and is going to beat her before asking any questions, “You know what never mind!”

She sprints to the edge of the building. He doesn’t particularly try to stop her, after all he thinks she has no escape route. Which means he was not expecting her to jump right off the building.

“Kaalki, Full gallop,” She says quietly to her Kwami, putting on her glasses.

She transforms, opening a portal inches from the ground, she lands in her hotel bedroom. Dropping the transformation, she collapses onto the bed. She pants lungs burning, soon she realises she hasn't been taking any air.

What does she have to be stressed about? So she lost the Miracle box, an ancient treasure able to harness the gods? So it was all her fault for shirking off her duties for fun. So it was all her fault that she technically attacked a civilian without any proof. So it was her fault Batman attacked her and she’s probably a criminal now. So what?

She chokes around words, apologies to her Kwamis, to Master Fu, to everyone she has failed today. Instead her vision blurs and she has to take gasping breaths, shuddering in the warm room. She curls up on top of the blankets tucked in too tight to provide her with comfort. Too perfect, too well done, everything she isn’t.

Tikki nuzzles into her cheek, Marinette shudders out a breath, curling more into herself. Kaalki comes to rest near her heart. The magical thrum of the Kwami calming her heart beat. There are no words. There don’t need to be. There’s no one here to send Akuma after them. For once Marinette can cry, let her emotions run rampant. Then she’ll harness everything she has into protecting the Miracle box.

--------------------

Taglist:

@smolplantmum @flufflepuffle296 @dawnwave16 @caffeinetheory @g-arya @Maribat-2k20 @ladybug-182 @Actual-disaster-human @fusser90 @messrs-weasley @soap-lady @paintedhope7 @zeneralla @mochegato @random-nerd-3 @clumsy-owl-4178 @throneoffirebreathingbitchqueen @too0bsessedformyowngood @certifiedbidisaster @Purplegeekypanda @awkward0ghostfan @theymakeupfairies @tikki-marinette @insane-fangirl-of-everything @elmokingkong @inarachi02 @slytherinhquinn @moongoddesskiana @dast218 @buginetye @redscarlet95 @biodad-bruce-month @hansa-12 @waiting247 @toodaloo-kangaroo @how-to-fuction-properly @trippingovermyfeet @greekmythgal @whatthefox22 @the-alice-of-hearts @bigpicklebananatree

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junicai · 3 years

Text

painting.

| summary | Aria moves into the 127 dorms, and does a little bit of bonding with her new leader.

| word count | 1.5k

| warnings | none

| era | circa. 2016

13. “The paint’s supposed to go where?”

Aria groaned in exhaustion as she bent forwards, various objects falling from the precarious stack she had carried in her arms previously. They bounced and rolled across the floor, one canister of hairspray coming to meet the tip of a man’s shoe from where he was leaning against the open doorway.

Taeyong coughed out a chuckle at Aria’s folded form, pushing himself off the doorframe to make his way over to her. “Need a hand?”

Aria waved him off with a forced air of nonchalance, still panting heavily despite her best efforts to get her rapid breathing under control, “No, no I’m good. The stairs just tried to kill me that’s all.”

Taeyong snuck a glance at the closed doors of the elevator, blocked off by a single piece of red signage reading “Out of Order” in bold font. The lift had coughed and spluttered it’s way through the last two months, and had finally given out on its last stand yesterday evening, almost leaving Jaehyun and Winwin trapped inside if they hadn’t decided to take the stairs down.

How unfortunate it was, that the following morning was the day that Aria was due to move in.

In hindsight, Taeyong probably should have gotten some of the other boys in to help them carry the boxes that Aria had shoved her things into; the sweat was beading at his forehead by the time they had dragged the cardboard through into the living room, and Aria had pulled off her sweater to allow herself to cool down.

She leant against the wall, breathing through her nose as she chalked up the distance between the living room and her new bedroom to be too far to continue for the time being.

“Oppa?” the word still felt unfamiliar on her tongue, unused to the honorific. It had been at Taeyong’s request that she used it in the first place, him wanting her to feel comfortable around him; but Aria was still finding her ways around the Korean honorific system, and found herself stumbling over her words more often than not.

The first time she had tried to use honorifics had ended in Aria having extremely red cheeks, flushed with embarrassment, and Mark trying to explain to her that hyung was the name he used for the older members, and oppa was the one she was to use.

It had gone a little like this.

“Ari- Ari, you gotta, like, you gotta use oppa not hyung, ya’know? Because hyung is like, an older brother to a brother, but oppa is an older brother to you? Because you - you’re a girl? An’, and then you’d use unnie for the make-up nooans but I’d use noona, like I just did. So to you, they’re the make-up unnies, and to me they’re the makeup noonas. Johnny hyung, Johnny oppa. Does that make sense?”

Aria had looked at him with the most bewildered face, eyes widened and lips parted slightly.

From across the room, Taeil had bit his lip to stop himself from laughing, before swooping in to offer an out for poor Mark, who was beginning to delve into another convoluted explanation.

“Yeah, Aria?” Taeyong’s voice came from across the room.

Aria looked up, searching for the taller man and her eyes found him shuffling around in the kitchen, two glasses of water on the counter top.

“There you go,” he pointed towards one of the glasses. “If one of the others aren’t back soon to help, we might have to drag the boxes in ourselves,” he smiled ruefully. “I knew we shouldn’t have let Jaehyun go out today.”

Aria thanked him, before picking up the glass with her two hands and turned to the side to drink.

The silence was buffering, and ate away at whatever comforting atmosphere Taeyong had tried to create.

It wasn’t that Aria was uncomfortable around him - no not at all. It was just the fact that she knew the boys were being more than accommodating for her, she knew that Yuta was sharing a room with Winwin now because they insisted on her having her own space, she knew that she was toe-ing a barely there line between intruding and just being downright entitled.

Having voiced these thoughts during the early hours of the night to Donghyuck almost a week ago, Aria knew exactly what kind of spiel she’d be on the receiving end of should she protest the room changes - but that didn’t stop the little pool of guilt from settling in the bottom of her stomach when she snuck a glance around and saw the empty bedroom’s door partially opened, all of Sicheng’s things having been moved out two nights ago.

“Oppa,” Aria tried the honorific out again, finding that it still felt fumbled out, but from Taeyong’s affirming hum she must have sounded less stilted than the last time, “Do you think you could help me move the box of paints into my room? I can carry the rest, but that box is really heavy, and I don’t want to drop it.”

Taeyong turned around to her, “Yeah no problem, Aria. Which one is it?”

Aria pointed to the singular plastic box among the cardboard ones; spattered with white and yellow and various other colors. The pair of them made their way over, hands curling around the lip of the box.

“On three?” Taeyong nodded.

He counted them through before Aria was heaving up her side of the box and Taeyong was slipping his arm underneath it to hold some of the weight steady. They paused momentarily once they had the box in the air, finding a good balance and ensuring nothing inside had tipped over, before Aria began her shuffle backwards.

“Mind behind you,” Taeyong warned, and Aria lifted her feet over the box that would have tripped her otherwise.

The small steps they took to bring the paint box into her room felt never ending, and by the time they passed the threshold, both Aria and Taeyong’s arms were shaking lightly.

“The paint’s supposed to go where?” Taeyong’s voice was breathless, anticipating the moment when he could give his arms a rest.

“Maybe - just in the corner? Over there, out of the way.” Aria jerked her head towards the far corner, on the opposite side of the room of the bed and empty desk.

The box was placed down with a thud, and Taeyong straightened up - shaking out his arms. Aria sat down harshly on the bed free of coverings, legs beginning to burn from the numerous flights of stairs she had climbed earlier on in the day. Taeyong joined her after a moment, sitting down beside her.

“You need a hand taking in the rest of your things?” he questioned, turning to look at her.

“Nah,” Aria shook her head. “I might wait a while and get Hyuck to drag them in for me.”

Taeyong snorted slightly. “You know, I think you’re the only person who can get that boy to do something he doesn’t already want to do.”

“Jokes on him, I just convince him that it was his idea.”

The silence settled again, less acidic this time.

It was broken after a second by Taeyong. “I didn’t know you could paint?”

Aria cast her gaze over to the stained box in the corner. A dry paintbrush was sticking out the top of it, the bristles clean but the wooden handle covered in splashes of colourful paint - intermittent with streaks of white and black and a mixture of the two.

“Yeah,” Aria hummed. “I don’t know when I started, I just. Always have, I think.”

“Did someone teach you? Your parents?”

Aria coughed to hide the laugh that threatened to break from her chest. “Oh no, no. Youtube taught me most of what I know, I won’t lie. And I’m not, very good - it’s just, therapeutic? Like poetry, but you don’t have to concentrate on finding the right words.”

Taeyong nodded knowingly.

Aria supposed he would understand the sentiment; given the hours he spends doing what it is he does in the practice rooms or the recording studios for hours after their ‘official’ days end. She supposed that there has to be hundreds of wordless messages hidden in forty second tracks on the USB stick he keeps on his keychain.

“You know, Ten is really artistic,” Taeyong begins again. “I never really understood it much - the colours and the images you pull out of nothing - but he seems to. A lot more than I ever could. He gets it a little bit more, I guess. The whole, unspoken words thing. I’d love to know how he did it.”

His eyes had shifted into something sincere now, and he was gazing down at Aria. She got the sense that they weren’t just talking about painting anymore.

“I’m just saying that, if you ever need someone to talk to - about painting - then I’ll always have an open ear.”

Aria supposed Taeyong didn’t quite understand what those words meant to her just yet.

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whitetrashjj · 3 years

Note

most people that don’t like kie don’t like her because she

1. gets mad at JJ when he calls her out for being rich

2. prioritizes john b constantly because whatever feelings she has towards him gave her tunnel vision

3. tried to guilt-trip pope into missing his scholarship interview despite the fact that, like he said, she wasn’t there for any of them when big john went missing

4. talks about the gold, pope’s scholarship, and things that happen to the boys because of them living in the cut as if it’s okay to just toss them aside when it’s only okay to do that for her- seeing as she doesn’t need the money, and she doesn’t need a scholarship. the only thing that makes her a pogue is that she decided to hang out with them, which is fine but she can’t act like she goes through what people on the cut do seeing as she doesn’t actually live there or go to their school. these things are only expendable for her.

5. she tried to fight pope on the boat because he rightfully called her out on her “moral high ground bullshit”

6. she gives off performative activist. she’ll talk about saving the turtles but when jj is clearly hysterical or something with his buying a hot tub using his share, she says he could have “literally given it to any charity” as if he isn’t quite literally the charity… even without seeing the bruises it’s clear that jj is in an unstable environment with someone who doesn’t care about him and can’t support him financially.

7.she doesn’t sympathize with jj until after the jj/pope/kie hot tub group hug when she sees his bruises. she just ignores whatever he says when he mentions her financial privilege and insults him in a non-friendly way. (he insults her too obviously, but since the show never goes in depth to discuss kie’s struggles as a biracial girl or pope’s struggles as a black boy, it’s not something that jj can randomly sympathize with, seeing as it’s never brought to light. if it was brought up and jj were to react like she’s being annoying for pointing it out or pointing it out to spite him, i would have major problems with jj because acknowledging whatever privilege you have is important, especially when you’re with people that don’t have that privilege/when you’re someone whose character is supposed to be the activist type. and i’m not equating racial privilege to financial privilege, i’m just mentioning it because classism is pretty much the basis of the entire show and its plot.)

anyway… this is the reason i’ve seen most jjpopes dislike kie. mentioning the “kiara sucks�� anon as if that is a blanket statement of all jjpopes is strange. we aren’t some raging misogynists out to get her, but you saying that pope is a very flawed character with no examples to back it up but also getting irritated when someone says kiara sucks with no examples to back it up is ridiculous. these are examples. since this is in response to your response to that ask, i’ll also add that while your experiences as a queer person are valid, they aren’t universal (“Any queer person knows that you can’t be as forthcoming and open about our affections as straight people are.”)

i get where you’re coming from with saying a regular character might not be outward about his feelings, but jj is not a regular character. jj is a nothing-to-lose kind of character, so your reasoning for why those many displays of affection throughout the show weren’t intended to be romantic just doesn’t really add up? of course he values pope’s friendship and wouldn’t want to risk it, but it’s also evident that he’s a very good liar and could easily say he was joking or wasn’t trying to seem like any of his actions were romantic, something you can also probably understand/have experienced as a queer person. your very statement that jj is someone who flirts with anyone is counterproductive to the statement that that means he doesn’t have feelings for pope. he flirts with every girl, but he can only form a lasting bond while also doing things you’d normally do with a crush, with pope. a lot of jjpopes including myself think he’s gay, and comphet/trying to prove to yourself that you’re straight by engaging in meaningless hookups (like jj) is reason for that headcanon. i get what you’re saying for other characters, but there’s no indication of jj not having that same nothing-to-lose attitude when it comes to people he has romantic feelings for, so there would be no reason for the pull-back or hesitation that you mentioned. and since he knows pope and his connection (whether it be platonic or romantic to both of them) is so strong, he probably assumes nothing could break that bond/dynamic either way.

also no one called you anti-black or implied that you were for saying pope is a flawed character, but it would be surprising to see one that isn’t rooted in that because all of them in the past have been- this fandom is wildly colorist and homophobic (another reason representation like jjpope is so important) and it’s extremely hard to find someone that doesn’t like pope without an explanation for their dislike that isn’t rooted in racism. that’s just common sense, though.

You know, I've been looking at this ask for a long time just wondering if it's worth my time to address all of this - like I didn't realise one could send asks this big. But I'm bored and got a beer in me so fuck it let's go.

So first let's talk about the reasons you hate Kie. I'm gonna admit that I to think she is flawed, like every other obx character, she is also a victim to bad writing and under developed. But also I just do not understand how people can hate her or insists that she is a bad person, don't get me wrong sometimes you just don't vibe with a character and there is nothing wrong with that but hating them and tearing them down is a very different thing.

Now I've said this before but let me reiterate. Not liking a character or ship or preferring one over the other does not automatically make you racist, misogynistic or homophobic. But I do think it is important to take a step back and assess our motivation and perhaps internalised biases. Sometimes you will find that you reasoning is without much substance and realise that you have some things to work on, sometimes even though mentally you don't have the conscious block there is something internalised about that - I know I have been subject to that. This doesn't make you a bad person, and you don't have to force yourself to like it or anything, but just be aware and sometimes it's okay to just remove yourself for the conversation because the people who do like it aren't supporting something that is morally corrupt and it doesn't have to be the subject of discourse. People can like different stuff.

So:

1. Did you mean pulls faces when JJ calls her rich? Cause that's what she does, gets a little annoyed, pulls a face but doesn't say anything because she know he's got a point. I'm very confused about you definition of angry and perhaps be careful about perpetuating the 'angry black woman' stereotype.

Also, I think it's important to note that clearly the kooks vs pogues divide has pretty much abolished the middle class, and you are either lower class or 'rich'. The Carrera's very clearly still struggle with money and are not on the same level of kooks as the Cameron's. So yeah, I think she's justified to roll her eyes at JJ saying she's rich as fuck and doesn't need money.

2. Prioritizes John B because his dad's gone missing, he's been abandoned by his guardian, is being threatened with being taken away from his home and everything he knows and is in general spiralling? Yeah. What a fucking monster. Also, I find it hard to find a justification for Kie having canon romantic feelings from John B that isn't just born from heteronormativity - her caring about him and then getting kissed by him does not equal a love match.

3. It wasn't about missing the interview - which wasn't until the next fucking day - it was about not giving up looking for their friend who was in a really bad way. Like - you cannot say that getting a scholarship when you are 16 is more important that John B's actual life being at stake ?

The fact that she wasn't there when John B went missing wasn't relevant? Like I've talked about why I hate Pope in this scene. But like, Pope is saying 'um you can't call me out on being a bad friend now cause you were a bad friend then'. That's the point, Kie caring so much about John B is rooted in guilt cause she wasn't there, and now she's trying to be there and support him, to prove that she's a better friend now. That's she's different, because she is.

4. I would love some specific examples of her brushing this stuff off like it means nothing. Other than the boat scene which once again, justified. And once again, Kie isn't destitute at all and no she doesn't fully understand the struggles of the boys or the cut but her family is not rolling in it and spending weekends on Yachts. Like this point is such a bloody reach.

5. I don't love that she got physical with him either. But she didn't do that because she got called out. She got upset because Pope was the one person she confided in about that happened during her kook year, about how bad it was, about the fact that she was suicidal and Sarah saved her and that's why she was so drawn to that, not because she wanted to be a kook, and Pope just throws that back in her face because he's jealous that Kie cares more about John B's problems than his.

6. Well this is just a misrepresentation of what happened. She said give it to any charity because in that moment it seemed like without a reason JJ just blew that money on stupid shit. Pope thought the same thing that's why he yells at him for not using it for restitution. In that moment he just seems like he is being drunk and irresponsible, because they didn't think he would go back to Luke, Pope literally says that he wouldn't. And then note how when they see the bruises they know what happened and the tone instantly changes cause they realise what happened. And that he did try to do the right thing and got flogged because of it. And she is right in there to comfort him and reassure him. So like... yeah.

7. Please give me example for this. I don't see Kie insulting him that isn't a justified call out or playful banter that is returned and part of their push and shove dynamic. You know... just being friends.

The only times we see Kie react to JJ's home life she is concerned and sympathetic. She's the only one who's worried about JJ going home when he storms off and is instantly there to comfort him when she knows he's had interaction with Luke. I really don't know where you are getting this from.

I don't use it as a blanket statement, I know not to group shippers in as one, I know there are jiara shippers that I do not see eye to eye with for a second. The reason I bring up the 'kiara sucks' thing is because of the context it was used. We weren't talking about Kie, it wasn't relevant, it had no reason to be there or anything to back it up. It was random bitching and as you say fandom is a very racist place so yeah, it seemed like racism to me. Like you realise you are calling me ridiculous for being annoyed that someone just came to me and said Kie sucks without reason, and then this ask goes onto be annoyed that I have some issues with Pope and that more than likely racist for thinking it because you've elected to ignore my massive post outlining my stance on this.

My experiences as a queer person are not universal, no. But I do know they are very common. I'm so thankful that there are people out there who don't experience this and I hope that in the future it will be the norm. But realistically, with what we know about JJ, I think it is more than likely that would be his experience.

Look if you headcanon him as gay say the things with girls is comphet, then that's your view and I won't fight you on it. But remember that that is a headcanon. And what I have been talking about is were they intentionally setting up jjpope and are those actions indicative of romantic attraction, which if they we're they would have made a point to frame it as comp het, which they didn't, they might in the future but for now - they aren't. In terms of being a good liar, I just- like gay panic is a very strong thing. There young girls who tell everyone they don't like hugs because they actually really liked the hugs and feel like people will know that they are gay if they hug their friend, a hug. I can't see 'I'm a good liar' being enough to overcome those sorts of feelings.

The thing is while JJ has a nothing to lose attitude when it comes to his life and future the same doesn't apply to his relationships, because the Pogues are his thing to lose, his only family, the one good thing. I can't see him just saying fuck it I could risk losing Pope. So I can't agree with you there.

First of all, I was called anti-black for not liking Pope, despite the fact that I don't hate him, and just had valid reasons for thinking he is flawed, not the devil incarnate. Two, I am well aware that this fandom is racist, like all fucking fandoms, and have talked about it. And I think that fact that I don't hate Pope and laid out very clearly the reasons I don't think he's some perfect angel that does no wrong kinda shows that I'm not just random bitching because he's black. Also - I'm a fucking Kie stan. I have to deal with people hating on Kie for the same reasons they love Sarah - it's very obvious to see people motivations there.

And you are right. An interracial mlm ship would be great representation. So would an interracial ship between the hot guy that everyone loves with the black girl - because doesn't he always end up with the white self insert? But reminder that ships don't automatically have superiority because they have 'better' representation and certainly does not represent a shipper 'wokeness'. Personally I think a platonic relationship between two men that are as close and physically affectionate as JJ and Pope - especially when one is so traditionally masculine as JJ, especially if one or both of them could be queer - would be great representation for young boys struggling with toxic masculinity.

So yeah, I think your reasons for hating Kie don't have much basis in canon. I do not give if you like her or not but.. hating her and trying to prove that people shouldn't like her, that she's not good enough for JJ and coming into my ask and putting her down for no reason, still does not sit right with me.

#obx #obx bs #kiara carrera #JJ and pope #lara answers

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scxrlettwxtches · 4 years

Text

[3:30p.m.] kiss in vehicle + hurt feelings | hwang hyunjin

warnings: mentions of break up, heavy angst

requested: yes!

a/n: why do y’all always make me write such sad things about hyunjin. first it was the bet and now this x_x anyways, i really hope you enjoy, love! this fic was highkey inspired by skz “ex,” which i’ve had on repeat these last few days hehe

You were walking out of your last class of the day, excited to go back to your apartment and finish up your laundry, make a nice dinner--you know--normal people chores, when you got a text from someone you haven’t heard from in three years. Someone you never wanted to hear from ever again.

hi, it’s me. could we talk?? i’m outside the literature building.

The message stared at you, and you stared back at it, feeling an old and unwanted twist of your heart just at the familiar contact name. It must’ve been a moment of weakness from you back then when you decided not to block him completely. Without replying, you stuffed your phone in your back pocket and walked out of the building.

You stepped out the door, and there he stood, looking just as dashing and just as heartbreakingly beautiful as the day he took your own, very fragile heart and stepped on it until there was nothing left but the cold, pathetic remains of your former self.

“I’m breaking up with you,” Hyunjin spoke, his hands in his pockets and his expression impassive as he looked anywhere but your eyes.

This wasn’t how you wanted the day to go at all. You had been elated when Hyunjin had called you out to go on a date. The small bouquet of roses in your hands now felt embarrassing, utterly humiliating, as you stood before him, the bright and cheerful sparkle in your eyes dying out in that very moment.

“W-what?” you stammered, and your heart pounded in your chest, not in the way it did when Hyunjin had unexpectedly confessed to you, but in a way that it genuinely hurt, the mix of shock and fear that made you want to throw up, “What are you talking about, H-Hyunjin? Everything was fine--we were fine, right?”

“Sure, I’m just not really feeling this relationship anymore,” Hyunjin replied, finally glancing at you, “I think I just fell out of love with you, and there’s no point in pretending.”

A slap in the face, a knife in your heart would’ve hurt less than the words that were tumbling out of his lips, the lips that you had grown so vulnerable to, the lips that would caress your skin with a delicate gentleness that you didn’t know anyone possessed, that would whisper loving words to you in the dead of night.

“How long?” You whispered, tightening your grip on the pathetic little bouquet of flowers still in your hand, “How long have you been pretending to love me?”

Hyunjin’s jaw clenched and he shoved his hands deeper into his pockets, “It doesn’t matter,” he said dully, “Thanks for the good times, Y/N.”

You were left at the park, feeling like the biggest fool in the universe as the rain began to pour, masking your tears from the world that only seemed to laugh at your misery.

Ever since that day, the flowers had ceased to look as beautiful to you as they once did.

Hyunjin, whose eyes were drifting around as he waited, caught sight of you the moment you walked out of the building. Immediately, he stood to attention, straightening his posture as you saw him visibly gulp. You kept your gaze impassive, tried to hide the clenching of your jaw as you walked towards him slowly.

“What’s up? Did you suddenly realize after three years that you forgot something at my apartment?” You asked, and Hyunjin shivered at how such a casual question falling from your lips could feel so cold, devoid of any affection.

“Ah, n-no,” Hyunjin fumbled over his words, completely forgetting the plan he’d conjured up in his head after mulling this meeting over for months. To be honest, he never thought he’d even get this far. What comes after again…? Text, meeting, saying hello--well, he can’t exactly say hello now--flowers…

“Oh!” The boy brought his attention to the bouquet of lilies in his hands, “I--um--got you these.”

You glanced down at the flowers with apparent boredom, and it scared Hyunjin more than ever. He’d been prepared for your wrath, your anger, as you had always been an expressive, emotional person. Now, all he could sense was boredom, annoyance, and it felt so much worse.

Looking down at the flowers, you were silent for a long moment before answering, “No thanks,” your voice was flat as you crossed your arms, leaning your weight to one leg and letting out a tired sigh, “What are you here for, Hyunjin? I have things to do.”

“I know you do!” Hyunjin stammered out quickly, feeling his heart ache as he let the bouquet fall to his side, reeling at the agonizingly blunt rejection, “That’s why I was thinking that I could drive you home?”

Momentarily stunned by his offer, you took a quick moment to maintain your impassive expression, “I’m not going home yet,” you lied, fiddling with your bag strap hanging on your right shoulder.

Hyunjin blinked, “But it’s Monday” he pointed out hesitantly, “You always go home after class to do your laundry and prep your meals for the week.”

It was at this moment that you cursed just how well ingrained your schedule was in Hyunjin’s mind, and how you felt the walls around your heart weaken ever so slightly at this confession. Looking at the pure, uncontrollably earnest expression on his face, you decided to cave, just this once.

“Fine,” you spoke coldly.

Hyunjin’s entire face lit up as if the love of his life had agreed to marry him, and he nodded with bright eyes, “Great! Let’s get going!” He practically tripped over his own feet rushing to the driver’s side after opening the passenger seat door for you, ever the gentleman.

The trip was mostly a silent one, due to no small part because of you. You kept your gaze fixed to outside the window as Hyunjin drove, despite you being very painfully aware of the the way he turned to glance at you every ten seconds, as if waiting for you to say something. Unfortunately for the both of you, you don’t have anything left to say anymore.

Finally, it seemed that Hyunjin could handle the silence no longer, and he opened his mouth, “Y/N, about that time--”

“You know where my apartment is, right?” You interrupted him, knowing perfectly well what time he was referring to and also knowing perfectly well that you didn’t want to think or speak about it for even a moment.

“Huh? Yeah, of course I know,” Hyunjin answered your question almost through habit before remembering that he was trying to tell you something, “B-but, Y/N--really, back than I was--”

“Do you really need me to spell it out, or can you take a hint and realize that I don’t care about what happened back then?” You spat coldly, finally turning to glare at Hyunjin. It made his heart chill to the bone, as he could no longer see those soft eyes of yours that were always so gentle, so unbelievably soothing on his bad days.

Hyunjin’s expression filled with hurt, “You don’t mean that, do you?” he asked softly, “That you don’t care.”

“I used to care, but I’ve moved on just like you,” you spoke, nonchalance clear in your tone as you crossed your legs.

Like him? Oh, no no, that can’t be possible, because Hyunjin has never once moved on. From the very night he’d ended things so coldly with you, Hyunjin had beat himself up for his words, his attitude, his utter stupidity for letting you go. You were the best thing that happened to him, and your love was something he didn’t realize he needed until he realized he was actually starving for it again.

“What if I haven’t moved on?” he let his mental walls down as he glanced, desperately wanting you to come back to him, to let him in again, because god knows how faraway you were keeping him right now.

Damn him. Damn Hwang Hyunjin and his stupidly innocent words. Damn his puppy dog eyes, damn the way his lips curled into that adorable pout. Your resolve wavered more than ever, but you controlled yourself with a clench of your jaw. You weren’t ever going to let him hurt you again.

“Then, I’m sorry, but I don’t really know what you expect me to do about it.”

The blasé tone of your scathing words hurt Hyunjin more than he could even begin to explain, but in his heart, he knew he deserved it. He deserved every spiteful remark, every cold shoulder, every hurtful comment that would come out of your mouth, because he knew none of them would equal the amount of pain he caused you.

“Maybe you can give me another chance? Please?” Hyunjin knew how pathetic he sounded, crawling back to you on his knees when he was the one that threw you away when you needed him most. But he’d do it, he’d do anything to get you back, to bring everything back to the way it was before he fucked it up.

Inside, your heart and your mind were at war, screaming and kicking at each other as you felt your mouth grow dry at Hyunjin’s words. He wanted you back. Hyunjin, the only person you’d ever loved even after he took your heart and crushed it right when you were the most vulnerable, wanted you back, and the most twisted part was that you wanted--more than anything--to go running back into his arms and pretend that things had returned back to the way they were before.

But despite that, your fear, your fear of getting hurt held you back from his love. You were never going to let anyone have power over you like that, even if it meant being alone for the rest of your life.

“I’m sorry.”

Hyunjin’s heart sank to his feet. The two simplest words, and yet they felt like the strongest, most brutal slap to the face. He would much rather you scream, hit him, yell at him, because at least he wouldn’t feel this growing, bottomless pit of guilt in his stomach.

He pulled up to the front of your apartment complex like he would do almost every day back when you were dating. He could almost see the mirage of you and him, your fingers intertwined as you went up to your room with him, kissing and cuddling the night away. He could almost feel your fingers gently carding through his hair as he lay his head in your lap.

The moment the car pulled to a stop, you were ready for a hasty exit. Manually unlocking the door yourself, your hand had already pulled the handle when you felt a hand wrapping around your wrist, gripping it tightly. Turning around, you saw Hyunjin's panicked, almost manic expression, and his hold on your wrist tightened ever so slightly.

“Please don't leave just yet,” he begged, his voice weak.

You raised a questioning eyebrow, glancing down at the way your hands were connected, “Wasn't the point of you driving me this whole time being to take me home?”

“Not yet,” Hyunjin pleaded.

“Why?”

The man swallowed nervously, and now that you finally got a good look at his face up close, you realized that his lips were chapped, as if he'd bitten it out of anxiety to the point of breaking skin.

“If I let you go now,” he whispered, “would I ever get a chance to see you again?”

You sighed, tired of him trying so hard when your heart had already closed off entirely, “There isn’t any reason to,” you said, and you moved to open the door again when you suddenly felt a sharp tug on your arm. Thrown off, you fell over to Hyunjin’s side, giving him perfect access to tilt his head and smash his lips against yours.

Gasping, your grip tightened around the sleeves of his shirt as you tried to pull him away, but now that Hyunjin tasted your lips again, he had no intention of pulling away. He missed you, he missed you so so much. He missed everything about you, and he wouldn’t be satisfied until you were safe in his arms again.

You let Hyunjin move his lips against yours as your resolve weakened, and your resisting hands fell to your sides. At this moment you knew it would no longer be possible. You and Hyunjin were no longer possible. You didn’t feel the butterflies in your stomach. You didn’t feel the light flush on your cheek that always appeared whenever Hyunjin so much as pecked your forehead. All you feel was a lingering pain, a permanent crack in your heart that would never be healed.

Hyunjin must’ve felt your lack of enthusiasm, must’ve noticed that you didn’t make any moves to deepen the kiss, and he pulled his lips away from yours, keeping them only inches apart. Unlike you, his heart was pounding against his chest at the knowledge that he finally had you in his arms again. His cheeks were flushed from finally being able to kiss you again, to see your lips wet and swollen because of him, because you couldn’t stop craving him.

But he could see that none of his emotions reflected in your eyes, sparkling with unshed tears.

“Do you not feel the same anymore?” he asked softly, his arm which had wrapped around your waist slowly loosening.

You looked at him, your expression unreadable when you began to speak, “I’ll never stop loving you, Hyunjin. I think you deserve to know this.”

Hyunjin, desperate and clinging onto the false hope that you’d come back to him, felt his expression brighten almost immediately, only for that hope to be shut down as fast as you get it to him, “But I’ll never stop reliving the day you ended things so coldly, so painfully and devoid without any emotion. Even if I did agree to try again, I will never forget the hurt I felt that day, and that is my fault.”

Your voice was gentle as you finished, “There’s no reason to get back into a relationship knowing that I’ll never be able to get over the past.”

“N-no,” Hyunjin trembled, grabbing your hand as a few tears began to roll down his cheeks and he babbled, “Please don’t leave me, Y/N, I’ll die if I don’t have you--I’ll right all my wrongs, I’ll be a saint, Y/N please…”

Pitying him, but knowing that your pity shouldn’t force you back into his arms, you reached your hand up to stroke his hair, brushing a strand away from his face as you forced a small smile on your face, “I don’t need you to do any of that. I just need you to live your life to the fullest, and to be happy. I’ll do the same.”

Hyunjin wanted to cry and scream, to put up a big fuss just to get you to understand that he couldn’t live a full life without you, but he looked at the expression on your face, the remnants of the pain and hurt that you tried to cover, and he knew. He knew that he had to let you go, even if it killed him to do so. He would do anything to make sure you were happy, even if that meant sacrificing his. It was comeuppance, he supposed.

“I love you,” he murmured, and his head fell forward, letting him lean down and rest his head on her shoulder.

You only hummed softly, reaching up to card a hand through his hair, “Thank you for showing me what love is, Hyunjin,” you said, and his grip tightened around your waist. He didn’t want this, he didn’t want you to leave again, “I’ll never forget it.”

Pulling away, you give him a sad smile, booping his nose like you used to do before grabbing your bag and getting out of the car. Only when you had shut the car door and were safely inside did Hyunjin let the rest of his tears to fall, opening the floodgates as he let his head rest against the steering wheel as he cried loud, bitter tears. He felt like such a fool, such an idiot to let someone like you slip through his fingers.

You were prepared to give him all of you when he too scared to do the same. Once he was ready and utterly willing to give up his whole sense of being to stay by your side, the door to your heart had already shut him out forever, too hurt by his young and immature words to ever give him a second chance.

Out of the corner of his eye, he caught sight of the bouquet of lilies sitting in the backseat of his car, and ever since that day, the flowers ceased to look as beautiful to him as they once did.

a/n: hehe im sorry :)

#inkidz #districtninewriters #stray kids scenarios #stray kids drabbles #stray kids reactions #stray kids imagines #stray kids blurbs #skz oneshots #skz scenarios #skz imagines #skz blurbs #stray kids x reader #stray kids x y/n #skz x reader #skz x y/n #hwang hyunjin imagine #hwang hyunjin scenarios #hwang hyunjin blurbs #my fics

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koolkat9 · 3 years

Text

In the Deep (Ch. 5)

How Does He Know You Love Him?

In a matter of days, I was right as rain again. Although it was nice for Ludwig to come to visit me in bed, I was excited to get out of that room and back near the sea. Also, knowing I wouldn’t have to worry about Ludwig drying up was another benefit of our regular spot. I still couldn’t shake the sounds of his gasps from my mind. Unfortunately, there was more than that to worry about. Ever since that night with Ludwig in the tub, ignoring my feelings for him had become difficult and there was no more hiding of the fact that I had fallen in love.

“Have you ever been in love?” I asked Francis carefully over breakfast. Francis was the last person I wanted to be talking to about this, but it wasn’t like I knew anyone else around. Though, the sight of him almost choking on his water made it a bit more bearable.

“What has brought this on?”

“Fine…” I gulped not wanting to say what I was about to. “You were right,” I whispered.

“Quoi? I didn’t hear you.”

I groaned, burying my face into my hands. “You were right. I think I love Ludwig.”

“Ah! C’est bon,” Francis exclaimed, practically bouncing in his seat. Maybe I should have just suffered in silence. Now the frog could brag and tease me to his heart's content, knowing he was right and possibly.

“Yeah, Yeah. Now about your love life. Do you have a partner?”

Francis’ smile faltered slightly, his eyes becoming somewhat sad. “Oh..oui. Two to be exact. We’re all engaged actually. Hopefully, they’ll keep their damn promise and sit down with me to plan the wedding once they get home from their fishing trip.”

“You miss them?” I asked without really thinking. It wasn’t like I cared for Francis, it was only a natural question. Seeing him sad definitely didn’t make me feel bad. Not at all.

“Yes. Very much. But that’s what it's like when you’re in love.”

I tried to push back a smile, but I still felt the corners of my mouth twitch. Who knew he could be so...sentimental...dare I say sweet. But this talk about missing people was bringing up some unpleasant feelings of my own so I figured it was best to move on. “I guess. So...How exactly did you guys end up together?”

“Oh, it's such a romantic story!”

So the first of the two he met was his childhood friend Antonio. They apparently had shared their first kiss, but didn’t actually start dating until after their schooling. Shortly after that, they moved in together as Francis had inherited the inn from his parents and Antonio had started a fishing business. While out on one of his fishing excursions, Antonio came across their other partner, Gilbert, who was shipwrecked. But there seemed to be more to it. When Francis talked about this part of the story, he seemed hesitant, almost like he had to think about what he had to say. It felt off to me, but I didn’t say anything. I just needed to see that he wasn’t just all talk when it came to love. Francis went on, explaining how Antonio and Gilbert got close during that trip and they fell in love. Antonio brought Gilbert home to introduce him to Francis and the three became instant friends. Soon enough Francis also started to fall for Gilbert and he eventually confided in Antonio about it. Antonio who had also started with feelings proposed they try and court Gilbert together.

“One thing led to another,” Francis sighed dreamily, “and we started dating and got engaged about a year and a half later.”

“That’s...quite the story.”

“Yes. They come home in about two weeks.” Francis suddenly sprung up. “Oh Arthur, you’ll be able to meet them. We could even have a double date with you and Ludwig.”

I rolled my eyes. “Ludwig and I aren’t even dating so don’t get ahead of yourself.”

“Ah, right,” Francis said, taking a seat once more. “Well if you want my advice-”

“I don’t.” I did. And he knew it.

“Just be honest with him Arthur. I’m pretty sure he likes you too.”

My cheeks went warm at the comment. It's not like I hadn’t considered Ludwig returning my feelings, but it couldn’t be that easy. Could it? Francis must have picked up on my hesitation as he went on to add, “All you can do is try.”

---

The salty sea air filled my lungs as I took a deep breath. ‘All you can do is try,’ echoed through my mind as I cautiously made my way across the rocky path. Ludwig turned towards me, practically glowing in the sunlight, stopping me in my tracks. I probably stared for a bit too long.

“Guten Abend,” he greeted with a small smile.

“Ah...y-yes good evening,” I stuttered out.

“Are you going to sit?” Ludwig asked after a moment.

Mentally kicking myself for being so awkward, I sat down next to him, but I was unable to meet his gaze.

“Everything okay?”

“Just peachy.”

“Okay…” He didn’t seem to believe me, but at the same time, he didn’t ask further. “So...any questions for today?”

Thank goodness, something normal. I had welcomed the distraction until I realized I had nothing to ask except for one topic. That topic was part of what had me so on edge in the first place. Then again, asking about mating rituals of his kind would be educational, normal, and possibly give me the confidence I needed.

“Y-Yes...we’ve covered almost everything b-but...there is one more thing...we talked about it a little bit a few nights ago-”

“Just spit it out Arthur,” Ludwig interjected sharply.

“Mating Rituals. Does your kind have any mating rituals?”

His cheeks flushed and shoulders stiffened. “M-Mating rituals?” he sputtered.

“Yes...You don’t have to share anything you don’t want to. I just…”

“It's okay.” His voice was too high-pitched for me to believe that, but I let him continue. “Well...There’s..um...Sorry...I’m not the most experienced with this stuff.”

“Don’t worry. Just do what you can.”

With a breath, Ludwig went on. “Well...I better start at the beginning. Usually the more...I guess...masc-...wait no...dominant ones of our species will start building nests with all kinds of plants and coral they can find. Some go for comfort, some make it more decorative, or a mix in between. It's all to attract a mate. It used to be used as...y-you know…” His gaze shifted awkwardly down to his lap, his blush creeping down his neck. “To have babies. But it's not like that anymore. At least not solely...for childbearing I mean but-”

“I get the picture,” I coughed awkwardly. Not that the idea of having sexual relations with Ludwig never crossed my mind (if anything it crossed my mind a little too much), but to talk so openly about it gave me anything but confidence. “Anything else?”

“There is a calling in our language. It is a certain pattern of chirps and clicks that also attract potential mates. Once we find someone, we further engage in conversation and go from there.”

“Do you mind showing me?” I asked, “the call I mean.”

“Oh...uh...s-sure.” Ludwig looked a bit unsure, but proceeded anyway. He sounded almost like a dolphin, but it was still distinct enough. I found my cheeks heating up, my mind thinking what it would be like if he was calling to me like that. I shook my head, patting my cheeks to get rid of their colour. I didn’t need him getting suspicious.

“What about you?” Ludwig questioned.

“What?”

“What kind of rituals does your kind have?”

I was surprised that he was asking now too. He never asked for prior questions. For a moment I allowed myself to hope, to think that this meant he liked me too. And I answered: “Hmm...there are a few though not everyone uses the same ones. But basic ones? There is the ritual of giving gifts like flowers, chocolates, jewelry…”

“Like my bracelet?” Ludwig’s eyes met mine. I felt like I just backed myself into a corner and more words got trapped in my throat. My gaze fell to the water.

“I...um...ah...tech...I…well…”

“Arthur?” His hand found my shoulder, constricting my throat further. This was my chance, I had narrowed a confession down to one word.

“N-No,” I said instead. “Gifts can be for a variety of reasons. This one was out of guilt and...friendship.” At least it wasn’t a complete lie.

“Oh…” His face fell, looking almost disappointed. “Anything else?”

“Well, then we go on a date which means we go to a restaurant or some other venue and get to know each other. Then there is the first kiss.”

“First kiss?” Ludwig asked with a quirked brow.

“Uh...Yes...Like, when you press your lips together and…”

“I think you need to show me.”

I swore I almost broke my neck when I turned back to him.“What?”

“Show me.” There was this intense fire in his eyes as he bore into me. My heartbeat quickened and my breath became short. That sly bugger.

“I-I guess it can’t be helped,” I squeaked. I cautiously leaned forward, eyes closed, too scared to look. Ludwig ended up meeting me halfway just as I was about to give into my nerves. My eyes snapped open as his lips softly pressed against mine. They were cold, wet, but made me feel warm inside and out. It was like I was on fire, just like that moment from a few nights ago. As the kiss continued, I let my eyes slip closed and pulled him closer by his neck. Oh God, it was better than I could ever imagine.

Unfortunately, we had to pull away, both of us gasping for breath. I didn’t move far, however, letting our breaths mingle. “I thought you didn’t know what a kiss was,” I joked, pressing my forehead against Ludwig’s.

“Maybe that was a lie,” he laughed sheepishly.

“So...are you going to make me a nest?”

“Shut up,” He hissed before going in for another kiss.

Author’s Note: I’m so sorry this chapter took so long. I had bad writer’s block for it, then I got caught up in ship events here on Tumblr and then university started which is taking up a lot of my time. That being said, updates won’t be as consistent as they once were, but don’t worry, I would never discontinue this story.

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#hetalia #hws #gereng #engger #geruk #hws engand #hws france #hws germany #mermaid au #in the deep #mermaid!ludwig #privateer!arthur #fanfiction #hetalia fanfiction

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scullydubois · 3 years

Text

Only the Light Ch. 20

I now present to you a chapter that is filled with more angst than Chris Carter could ever dream of, and for that, I am truly sorry.

Scully and Mulder's foray into domesticity with Emily is interrupted by the past catching up to them. Faced with despair, they cling even tighter to each other.

--------------------------------

Scully is granted maternity leave, though it’s only for two weeks, which Missy let her know is “a piss-poor bargain.” And she knows this is true, but she also has more incentive to stay at her job than ever, so she’d like not to lose it. The fact that advocating for herself and her child would mean risking her job is a mess in itself, but one lone woman can’t be expected to take down the patriarchy, and besides, she’s already tried and failed.

As for she and Mulder, they hide their flirtation in plain sight. Mulder’s perpetually present in body or spirit, but his behavior never reveals anything more than it did before. Every morning he swings by to say hi, brings Scully coffee and a bagel with full-fat cream cheese, and checks if Emily’s picked up any new words. Personally, he’s working on “alien” and if you ask him, she’ll get it soon. She knows that it refers to her UFO stuffie, so sounding out the letters can’t be far behind, much to her mother’s dismay.

On Wednesday of the first week, he shows up at 6pm with takeout carbonara from a local Italian joint. His presence makes every Scully girl happy, but it makes one in particular the happiest, and Melissa realizes that there are definitely things her sister has failed to mention. She doesn’t question it, but watches with glee as the situation unfolds.

After that first night, Mulder keeps coming back with dinner and refuses to let either sister shoulder the cost. On Friday, he stays for a movie too and gets to participate in Emily’s nightly tucking-in ritual (a tickle on the left foot, a tickle on the right foot, and a big smooch on the forehead).

Saturday afternoon, he joins them for a stroller push through the park, earning some serious side-eye from Scully when he suggests that they stop at the playground because, according to the mama bear, “Em can only take six steps at a time, Mulder.” So instead they buy hotdogs from a vendor and eat them on a bench, Emily sandwiched between her mother, her aunt, and her...Mulder. They couldn’t ask for more.

That night, Mulder hangs around after dinner because what else is he gonna do? Go home and watch old baseball games until he falls asleep? A new leaf has been offered to him, and he’s gotta turn it.

He’s baffled when, upon announcing that it’s Emily’s bathtime, Scully goes to the kitchen and switches on the sink.

Scully raises an eyebrow at him. “What, your mother never washed you in the sink when you were a baby?”

“Not that I know of...I have a hard time envisioning myself ever fitting in a sink.”

Scully scoffs. “I forget. You were a Vineyard boy.”

Before he can come up with a smart response to that (as if there actually is one), Missy pipes up. “Oh, I bet you were the kid that took baths with your mother,” she teases. “Care to confirm or deny?”

“If I did I blocked it out of memory, thank god,” he testifies.

Having spread a towel on the counter, Scully strips Emily down and perches the girl on her hip. She sticks her hand under the faucet.

“That’s not too hot, do you think?” she asks Missy, who tests it as well.

“That should be fine.”

Mulder joins in too, and immediately regrets it. He shrinks away from the water, shaking droplets all over the room. “Jesus, Scully! Are you trying to boil her?”

“Babies lose heat quickly because of their body surface to weight ratio,” she says matter-of-factly. “They’re more susceptible to the cold.”

“I think the cold will be the least of her worries,” Mulder quips.

“If you really think it’s too hot, I’ll turn it down…” There’s a concerned crease beneath her eyes, and it makes Mulder feel bad about his joking.

“No, no, you know what you’re doing,” he assures her. “You’re her mother.”

As she lowers Em into the sink, Scully’s heart twinges. Her. A mother. How many times will she have to hear this before it stops feeling like news to her?

One week and bathtime has already become routine. Missy fills a plastic cup and pours it gently over her niece, the water cascading down Em like she is nature’s own. Scully soaps her palms, then glides over her daughter’s skin with such care that its memory may blight any future affection Em is graced with. And then another waterfall, and the gentle brush of a wash cloth against eyes and nose.

Scully squeezes a penny’s worth of baby shampoo into her hand, looks to Mulder. “Come on, get in here. You’re not afraid to get your hands dirty, are you?” she says with a smirk.

He smirks back and shakes his head as she lifts his open palm and shrinks her accumulation to a dime. “Although, technically I am getting my hands cleaner…”

She boops him right on the nose with a shampooed finger. He laughs.

Missy smiles. Oh, to see destiny play out right in front of you. “Someone’s cracking dad jokes,” she points out, unable to resist. This observation is much too on-the-nose for the pair (quite literally for Mulder), who simultaneously blush but say nothing.

Mulder wipes the shampoo from his nose and plants it on Emily’s head, joining his partner in making soapy circles over the girl’s tuft of strawberry hair. Scully’s full attention is directed toward her daughter. As soon as the lather is sufficient, she dons the lifted lilt of motherhood. “Okay, time to rinse! Missy, will you do the honors?”

Missy turns the faucet, fills the cup, and lets it flow over Emily. Mulder and Scully wash their hands off in the stream.

And as Scully leans for the towel, a splash of red dirties its fresh white surface. Mulder notices it first. He points at his partner’s porcelain face. “Scully, you’re bleeding.”

Her hand shoots to her nose. Sure enough, it stains her fingers. “Shit.” She turns away, goes for a tissue. “I haven’t had nosebleeds since I was fourteen,” she tells them, as if that invalidates this one. She wipes away a glob of blood, her stomach turning. “Missy--” her voice shakes involuntarily, “--will you dry Em off?”

“Uh-huh.” She nudges Mulder. “Will you grab a new towel from the linen closet?” she whispers, not wanting to further upset her sister.

Mulder goes off without a word, and Missy squeezes out Em’s hair as best she can. “What a pretty girl!” she gushes. “All clean!”

“Yee!” Emily throws her little fists in the air, injecting joy back into the room.

“Time to put your PJs on, and get a tickle, tickle, smooch.”

Mulder scrambles back in with a new towel, skirting around Scully, who remains occupied with her own situation. He slides the soiled towel away and helps Missy swaddle Em. Mulder ruffles the little girl’s hair, and she laughs like a music box.

“Mol-dy.” She spits it out in halves, as if she’s been rehearsing.

Mulder’s eyes water with recognition. “Mulder? Mul-der? Is that what you’re trying to say?”

“Moldy,” the girl declares again, certain of herself.

Missy adjusts Em on her hip, smiles at Mulder. “Looks like you’re Moldy now.”

Mulder bites his lip to hide his overwhelming delight. “Yeah, I...I never thought I'd be so happy to be called moldy.”

Next thing he knows, Scully is at his shoulder with a tissue stuffed up her nostrils. “Wait, what’s going on?”

“Em called me Moldy,” he tells her, full of satisfaction.

“Oh.” It comes out relatively unimpressed, but really, she’s just distracted. “Missy, will you get a diaper on her before there’s an accident? I would but I’m still--” She gestures to her nose.

“Yeah, yeah.” Missy smiles at the baby in her arms. “PJ time, Em!” They go off toward the bedroom, a happy pair.

As soon as Em is out of sight, Mulder spirals toward his partner, panic-stricken. The glee of moments ago has evaporated.

“Are you okay?” He touches her hair, shoulders, and the familiar small of her back, unsure of where he should land.

“I’m fine, it’s fine.” Her grip on his elbows--keeping his hands firmly placed on her waistline--suggests otherwise.

“You’ve got to see a doctor,” he pleads. “This could be...”

“This could be what, Mulder?” The steel in her blue eyes is a death grip. She’s never liked being told the obvious.

“Scully…” He sighs, rubs his neck, wills her to say what they both know. When she doesn’t, he takes his hands off her and wrings them together. “The Mufon women...they said it would happen to all of them eventually.” He’s careful not to lump Scully in with their group.

“And what do they know?” she retorts. “One of them was sick. One.”

“Okay, well, don’t you think it’s better to be safe than sorry?” he reasons. “You have Emily to look out for now.”

Scully rolls her eyes. “Don’t guilt trip me. It’s a nosebleed. Those happen all the time for completely benign reasons.”

“Yeah, but they don’t happen to you. You just said--you haven’t had one since you were fourteen.”

She clenches her jaw. He’s right, and she’s playing the fool. His position is the one she would take if this were anyone other than herself. She’s gonna have to lose this fight with as much grace as possible.

“Fine. I’ll get it checked out, but they’re gonna think I’m insane for coming in because of one nosebleed.”

“That’s a nice change of pace--you being the insane one for once.”

“Well, you’re the one who wants me to go, so you’re not out of the woods.”

“Good, I’ve finally got some company!”

Scully smiles in spite of herself. “Yes, yes you do.”

--------------------------------------

It happens very quickly, as most calamities of life can be said to. This gives it the unreal quality of a nightmare that might soon be woken up from, if there is any justice in the world.

Scully snags a doctor’s appointment for three days after the initial nosebleed. By the time she walks into the waiting room, one nosebleed has quadrupled into four, and her minor concern has snowballed into abject terror.

Margaret Scully drove into the city to watch Emily so Missy could join her sister. Scully insisted that she would go alone, but Missy wouldn’t accept this. She threatened to tell Mulder the details of the appointment if Dana didn’t let her go, and that was enough to earn her a spot in the passenger seat. Scully can’t take the thought of Mulder witnessing the worst--let alone her reaction to the worst.

And so it goes something like this: they are taken to an exam room, at which point Scully explains her situation to a nurse, including that she has recently learned she is at high risk for cancer. The nurse assures her that such a diagnosis is highly unlikely, but makes a note for the doctor. The doctor comes in with knitted eyebrows and listens to Scully describe the aftermath of her abduction experience with a heavy emphasis on the convoluted but substantial claims of the Mufon women. She asks if Scully has had any other symptoms, to which Scully replies that it’s hard to tell because she has an infant in the house and thus, a marked lack of sleep.

The doctor laughs, but it’s not a haha laugh, more of an I feel your pain. She agrees that the women’s claims are concerning, but tells her patient not to fret. They’ll take all the precautions, run any test that might assuage her worries. There’s a quip about how it’ll be on the government’s dime since it covers Scully’s insurance, and then the doctor leaves to order an MRI.

A full body MRI, which Scully has never had, and which she hoped she would never require. There’s no deeper sickness than one that cannot be pinpointed, and no greater fear than of the unknown turning into the worst case scenario.

The MRI is completed that same day. As she slides into the machine, Scully thinks of Betsy Hagopian and wonders how she’s doing. It has been many months since she stood outside an exam room and watched Betsy enter one of these. Has fate been kind to her?

For a few minutes, her world is limited to the mere inches between her face and this life-saving yet life-ruining contraption. It is noisy and sometimes bright and altogether disorientating. She is glad when it’s over.

The images return almost immediately, and maybe it would all have been okay if Scully weren’t trained in radiology herself, if she wasn’t able to recognize the glaring speck of light in her nasal cavity for what it is. But that one glance is all she needs to know that waiting by the phone isn’t an option.

“It’s a tumor, isn’t it?” she blurts as the radiologist tries to escort her and Melissa from the room. “In the nasal cavity. I have a M.D. I saw.”

“Your doctor will call with the results,” the radiologist insists, standing by the open doorway.

“No, no, you can’t do this to me,” Scully sputters. “I know what I saw, and I don’t have any time to waste.” Her eye twitches in a combination of stress and anger. “I have an infant daughter.”

The radiologist sighs, pity on top of pity. “Perhaps your doctor will talk it through with you now.”

“Yes. Please.”

And it is talked through, though there’s no need to make it complicated: nasopharyngeal carcinoma. Inoperable, and just barely in the realm of treatable. That’s the kicker, the coyote in the pasture, the cloud covering the sun. In the words of Scully’s doctor, it is auspiciously rare. And in Scully’s brain, it is the bottom she’s been expecting to drop out from under since she held her daughter in her arms.

Melissa drives home. The sisters cannot fathom how they will tell their mother. Cannot fathom ruining her blissful time with the granddaughter she’s just met. When they turn onto their street, Scully swallows hard and coughs on her own spit. “Will you do something for me?”

Missy looks over, eager to do anything she can, yet terrified by the possibility of the request.

“Will you take me to Mulder’s?” Scully mumbles. “I would just take the car but...I can’t face mom right now. I don’t want to risk it.”

Missy bites her lip. “And what am I supposed to tell mom when she asks where you are?”

“The truth,” Scully says curtly. “She doesn’t need the backstory.”

Missy drives past their building, though she’s not completely sold on her sister’s reasoning. “Don’t you think she might wonder why you aren’t coming home to your daughter?”

“I know she’ll wonder, Melissa, I know all of this,” Scully snaps because she needs to. “I don’t care.”

“Okay.” Missy’s voice is barely perceptible. I don’t care; she knows how low her sister has to be to say those words.

They complete the drive in silence, Scully biting her nails--a habit which she has never possessed, and perhaps just acquired. The car idles as Missy pulls up to the curb of Mulder’s building.

“I can pick you up when you need it,” she tells her sister as she pulls herself out of the car. “I’ll bring Em.”

“I’ll figure it out,” Scully says, closing the passenger door and edging toward the building. Missy hears a thanks float toward the car, then her sister is gone like a teenage girl embarrassed by her mother.

-------------------------------------

They sit on Mulder’s couch, muted. Words cannot fathom the injustice of this situation, nor can they suffice as empathy. Their hands are clasped together, a throughline of strength between them. This is what they need now; the most primitive language of all.

Scully’s watery eyes brush Mulder’s face. His own eyes, more pained than usual, look into hers. Without a word, she drapes an arm around her partner’s shoulders and scoots into his lap. He is surprised but not distressed. What else is left for them, now?

She is tiny, so tiny. And she is his.

Their eyes meet once again, speaking in tongues. Scully nods, and then Mulder does too. This is it. This is it.

Permission granted at last, Scully’s lips travel to her partner’s jawline. The first time her lips have touched his body, and this is where they go. She is a constant box of wonders, a fortune he can never predict. Her lips are much like he has fantasized they would be: wondrously soft and silky, stroking him like they have always meant to be there. Yet he couldn’t have imagined the urgency with which they burrow into his skin. As if she’s making a mental map of his bone structure. He never expected that she would want him this much.

His hands find her hips and grip the cotton of her shirt between his fingers. It is enough to tear her away from his flesh. Mission accomplished. His breath travels past her ear, hitting her neck. It is shallow and warm as he breathes her name. Her real name, the one her family calls her. She breathes his own back to him, like a bird responding to a mating call.

She feels his lips on her neck, wet and aching. It feels like God. This is the most blasphemous thought she has ever had. She throws her head back, exposing the whole of her skin to him. What is holiness, if not this moment?

He showers her in tattoo kisses, and she lets him, she lets him, she lets him. This is not just what she wants, but what she needs. No one will save her now, she knows this. So she has decided not to be saved.

Her shirt ripples as he clutches it. “May I?” He is breathy, awe-struck.

“Only if I can do the same.” Always about equality, his Scully is. He lifts his arms, lets her strip him first. He is fraught with the temptation to feel insecure, inadequate, but this is not about him--this is all for her. There is no time to dwell on this anyway. Scully takes in the sight, then puts her own arms up with a hint of impatience. He pulls her shirt over her head, and goosebumps adorn her as the air hits her bare stomach.

It is unimaginable, the significance of this moment. All Mulder can do is keep going, lest the emotion hit him and he find himself blubbering all over her. His hands travel her body...it is slender and white, but so solid, so strong. Cartilage forming ligaments forming joints connecting bones. And her skin, stretching over her hips and framing it all. The masterpiece that is Dana Katherine Scully.

He fears for the day she will cave in on herself. Already, one of his hands covers her whole rib cage. Right now he can cradle her body comfortably against his own, but the day will come when a single cautious touch will crush her, and his heart along with it. He wants her as she is now forever.

Seeing that he wants to pamper her, Scully lets herself be pampered. He showers the taut length of her collar bone in kisses. The vibration resonates throughout her bone structure, and already she can feel him in places she’s only fantasized about having him. He is going to heal me, she thinks. If anyone could heal her in any way, it would be him doing this.

She shows her gratitude by kneading circles into his soft tissues, so tense from all their days chasing ghosts. The sinew relaxes beneath the pads of her fingers, and she feels like she has solved the most important X-File of all.

Mulder traces his way along her spine. He has never touched her here, nor ever even fantasized about it, and there is an erotic tension--like a needle about to drop on a record--that neither one of them could have seen coming. Inevitably, his hands converge at the hooks of her bra. She arches her back in approval. He slides the hooks away from each other, and both of them feel the release. She shimmies off the garment before he can pull it out of the way. No secrets, not anymore.

Mulder didn’t expect to cry and is aware that most women wouldn’t take that as a positive sign, but seeing her, like this, knowing what they both know, tears feel like the least he could offer up. She is...beautiful is too weak a word to describe it. He needs to invent a new word to capture the essence of his emotions, the reverence with which he views her. He is not a religious man, but he will worship her until the end of time.

He has known this, intuitively, for a while, and now he’s putting it into practice. He wants to do everything he can for her, give her everything she wants. Yet he doesn’t know how to, and this scares him. She has always slipped through his fingers, always turned on a dime just when he thought he figured her out. Tonight is no exception. How was he to know that he’d be on his couch with a half-naked Scully in his lap?

He fears the tears will offend her, so he nuzzles into her heartspace, his nose pressed against the heart that is--by the grace of that God she worships--still beating. His lips meet the plush of her left breast.

Where does he go from here? The dusty routine he’s used with other women--the few who have given themselves to him or let him hand himself over--is not worthy enough for Scully. He could never touch Scully in the ways he’s touched the women before because she is not like the women before. There is no mere giving or taking here, no detached exchange of commodities or pleasure for the sake of pleasure. This is survival. They are symbiotically keeping each other alive.

A drop of water hits Scully’s skin, slides down the curvature of her breast. She shudders. A tear. That’s what it is, she realizes. Mulder is crying. It’s a baptism of unfortunate proportions.

She cups her hand against his chin, tilts it up so his bleary eyes meet hers. She rests her forehead against his. “Shh, shh, it’s okay.” She kisses each eye closed, his lids fluttering beneath her lips. “It’s okay.”

His breathing steadies. He is quite certain that it is not okay, that it never will be, but he listens to her, lets himself pretend.

Hands still on his chin, she careens their lips together. His mouth on hers; a godsend. They caress each other for a moment, then Scully opens wide, and Mulder does too. They are reflecting.

If Scully could compress herself, pushing every particle of air out of her lungs and into his, she would. As a sort of thank you, for everything. For what he has done, what is doing, what he will do...She will never have to live without him. She knows this now, and it makes this easier. But he will have to live without her, and so she must make sure he gets the memories he needs to carry on. This is how grief works, she’s acquainted with it. These moments, these feelings, these bated breaths and tender touches, will be his survival mechanism for awhile. Until the day when he can throw them off and go on without her ghost. It will happen one day, and she will be glad that he made it.

She feels him pressing against her stomach, which is certainly not where she wants him. “Fox…” Her hands hover above his belt. She unzips his fly first, her hand warm against him. He is dizzy with want as her fingers curl against his belt buckle, loosening it with confidence. In a sweeping gesture, she pushes his jeans off his hips, exposing him. The thrill she feels, seeing him big and bare in front of her, is a new kind of livelihood. She’s overcome with the desire to take him in her mouth--and that has never, never been her first instinct. She ducks down, but he stops her.

“Dana, no. You.”

She doesn’t need to hear it twice. She sucks in a breath, arches her back, and slides onto him. Slowly, gasping as they go.

“Am I hurting you?”

Scully shakes her head, lips parted. It has been nothing like this before...nothing so fulfilling. She crosses her ankles, binding them completely together at last.

Unity triumphs against the self, their union abolishing the world’s insistence on the solitude of the individual. This is what it’s about, isn’t it? Being joined, not only in spirit, but in body? Knowing that whatever horrors are to come, he will feel them as she does. Her dwindling will be his too, her losses an equally empty space within him.

She is teetering on the edge of something she can never come back from. She is not afraid.

She careens her fingernails into his back as the pressure builds. If it doesn’t come to a head, she’ll die right here, she thinks.

She barely registers the cathartic noises coming out of her, though they give Mulder great delight. He thought she would be quiet, and the fact that she’s not trying to hold anything in--after holding everything in for so goddamn long--is the most moving part of the experience.

And they want this to go on forever, but they want the release. Mulder swivels his hips into her, bringing them both closer to climax. Scully curls against him.

“I’m sorry,” she cries into his ear.

“What?” He nearly pulls out of her, fearing that she’s hurt.

“No, no--” She scrambles to stay with him. “This--” she pants “--is so good.” She lowers her lips onto his as confirmation, then speaks into his open mouth. “I’m just sorry to be the one to go.”

He frames her ribcage, thumbs arching toward her belly button. “Fuck, honey...don’t say that, don’t even think that…”

They won’t linger on the choice of pet name, the tenderness with which it settles over her, nor the absolute devastation of her words. There is simply no time.

Scully hides her face in his neck as the wave breaks over both of them. There is no world anymore, only the two of them on this couch. They have forsaken the physical realm, ascending to heaven in time with their heartbeats.

Mulder understands then what his reciprocal means when she says she needs proof to believe. Now that he’s been there and felt it, he knows that heaven exists, and holy shit, what does that mean for the life he has lived and the time he has left? What did it mean for Samantha?...What will it mean for Scully?

They collapse into each other, a melted mass of skin and bone. Two becoming one, becoming two again. Mulder strokes the back of his partner’s head, presses his lips to her temple. Her chest rises against him in jagged breaths.

“You are the only proof I’ll ever need that this life is worth it,” he murmurs. “Just you.”

Scully looks up at him, tears running down her cheeks. He kisses them away and wraps his arms around her. “I don’t know if you got the memo, but I love you, Dana Scully.”

She rests her cheek against his. “I love you too, F--Mulder.”

Mulder chuckles, his amusement shaking both of them. Scully closes her eyes and snuggles into him. He puts his hand over her heart, feels it beating steadily into his palm, and longs for it to stay like that forever.

#i have been working on that last scene since uhhh...october #i apologize for any emotional distress this and the following chapters will cause lmao #probably only two or three chapters left!!!#thank you for reading <3 #only the light fic #missy and scully fic #txf #txf fic #the x-files #fox mulder #dana scully #melissa scully #mine

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biaswreckingfics · 4 years

Text

No Limits: Part 8

Author: biaswreckingfics

Genre: Mafia AU - Warnings? Everything that goes on in a mafia AU

Word Count: 4.2k

Previous Chapter

Sehun's POV

Sehun could feel it the moment somebody had started following him. He didn't know how, but he assumed it was because of his prior training. He was already on edge thanks to his suicidal mission to help EXO, and he definitely did not need another person following him. He barely managed to get rid of the Baem member that had been following him.

Was it a coincidence that just minutes after he drops off his note to EXO someone had started following him? Could it be a member of EXO? Or did the Baem send more than one person to watch him?

He glances behind him to see who it was that was setting off his alarms. He saw workers, families, kids... and a girl running full force toward him. It couldn't be her though, could it? Why would a girl be following him, and why would she make it that obvious?

Still, the closer you got to him, the more his hackles raised. Something wasn't right.

He ducks around the next corner, which thankfully leads him to a nearly empty street, and comes to a stop. He readies himself for you to come around the corner, and it wasn't long until you did.

You came around the corner so fast, if he hadn't been prepared, you would've both been on the ground. Instead, you run directly into him and then step back with wide eyes. You clearly hadn't been expecting him.

He takes advantage of your disorientation and quickly wraps his hand around your throat. Surprise swept through your face before confusion and fear followed. It took only a couple of seconds for you to reach for his hand and attempt to pull him off of you.

"Who are you?" Sehun growls out.

He could tell you were trying to answer him or maybe trying to breathe because you looked like a gaping fish. A part of him felt bad for doing this, but he needed to find out who you were and fast. There was no time for games.

You were stronger than you looked, and his hand on you started to loosen, so he quickly throws you up against the brick wall next to him and brings his other hand up to your throat.

"Why are you following me?"

The fear on your face grows as your hands claw desperately at his. Sehun pushed away the guilt and worry he was beginning to feel and focuses on your hand reaching for his. There was something... oddly familiar about them...

His hold loosens minutely, as he stares at them, almost mesmerized. That annoying alarm in his head begins going off, just like it did when he remembered those numbers and the P.O. box... Something wasn't right...

"Sehun..."

You gasp out his name and startle him for a second. He looks back at your eyes, and he can tell you're beginning to lose consciousness. The fight your hands held was dimming, and your actions were slowing. His eyes are unwillingly drawn back to your hands, and suddenly he's transported to a different time and space.

He was standing at a sink... terrified thoughts about losing someone ran through his head... His hands were covered in blood that wasn't his... Someone was gently washing that blood away from his hands... He was feeling whatever had happened was all his fault, and he was barely holding on to his cool.

The memory became even more vivid as he could hear the worried voices of his brothers behind him, murmuring about Jongin. He remembered staring at the hands that washed the blood from his, and with a jolt, he realizes that those exact hands were weakly grabbing at his right now.

He slams back into the present and looks up at your face wildly. It was you. You were the one washing the blood from his hands in that memory... He knew you.

He let's go of you in shock and then dazedly watches as you drop to the ground like a doll. You immediately begin drawing in deep breaths and coughing as the air passes through your slightly damaged throat but even as you struggle to catch your breath, you attempt to stand back up.

Sehun drops down to your level and pushes down on your shoulders gently. "Don't try to stand up yet. You need a minute to recuperate."

You slowly nod as your rub your hands along your sore neck. You cautiously meet his gaze and search his face in confusion. Sehun avoids your scrutiny and glances down at his hands on your shoulder. With a shiver, he removes his touch from you and stares at his hands. He had just tried to kill you with them. He shouldn't be touching you in an attempt to comfort you with them.

Once you're able to breathe normally, you attempt to say his name, but he quickly shakes his head. It sounded like your throat was full of rocks, and it sounded very painful.

A wave of sadness overcomes him at the sound. He did this to you. He caused someone, that clearly cared for him, pain.

"It's me..." You cough out, even though Sehun tries to get you to stop. "It's Y/N."

The name sounds vaguely familiar, and while everything in him told him he could trust you, he still couldn't remember who you were.

It all clicked a moment later when he recalled the memory he had just had. Something had happened to Jongin... a member of EXO... and in those thoughts, he referred to EXO as his brothers... A moment later, your name ran through his head, and it dawned on him that you were the leader's sister.

"Y/N..." He quietly says, testing the name out like it's a new word.

What did all this mean? Why was he with EXO? Why was the leader's sister washing blood from his hands? Why did he care about something happening to Jongin?

Unless...

No... It was too far-fetched, wasn't it? Then again, with everything he was beginning to remember and what he had overheard the Baem leaders talking about... Maybe it wasn't...

Had the Baem been lying to him all this time?

Was he actually a member of their rival group? Was he a member of EXO?

He's brought back to the present by your panicked voice as you speak his name over and over again. He looks down at you as you get into a kneeling position across from him, almost like you're about to plead with him.

"Where have you been, Sehun?"

He watches your reaction closely as he responds. "I've been with the Baem..."

You close your eyes as a look of pain crosses your face, but then you open them again and meet his gaze. "Have they hurt you? Are you okay?"

He meets your questions with a look of confusion. He wouldn't even know how to begin to describe his thoughts to you.

"But if the Baem have you, how are you outside and alone right now?" You ask him in clear confusion as you look over his body for what he would assume were marks or wounds.

"I'm not alone... There are others here."

Panic washes over your face as you look over your shoulder and at the surrounding area. You quickly get up to your feet, pulling Sehun up with you. "We've got to go."

"I can't," he says as he stops you from pulling him back around the corner.

You stop and turn around to face him with an incredulous look. "What do you mean you can't?"

You stare at him like he's lost his damn mind... and he has.

"What are you talking about? You have to come home! To EXO. To Chanyeol. He's a fucking wreck without you, Sehun. He needs you to come back. We all do."

He can hear the sincerity in your words, and he knows you're telling him the truth, but he was so goddamned confused by everything. He didn't know what way was up or down at this point.

"When was the last time you saw me?" He curiously asks.

You meet his stare, and he can see the denial in your eyes. You knew something was seriously wrong here, but you didn't want to believe what you're brain was telling you. That Sehun had forgotten all about you and EXO.

"At the warehouse, remember? You were saving me... The Baem had kidnapped me..." Acceptance begins growing on your features as you quietly finish. "But you don't remember, do you?"

Sehun slowly shakes his head, and you gradually look down at the ground in devastation. The want to comfort you rises, but he makes no moves. He feels like he should apologize for not remembering, but he wasn't sure it would do any good.

Before either of you can say another word, he hears it... the call signal.

The Baem were coming.

He quickly grabs your arm and pulls you further down the block. You almost drag behind him at the suddenness, but your feet quickly catch up.

"Where are we going?"

"You need to hide." He responds, pulling up short when he notices an alley to his right.

He spots a couple of metal dumpsters and pushes you toward them, but you spin back around and immediately question him.

"Why am I hiding?"

"The Baem are here. They're signaling for me right now. You need to hide." He quickly tells you as he points towards the dumpsters.

Thankfully, you immediately get the hint and sprint to hide behind one of the giant metal bins. Once Sehun makes sure he can't see you, he walks back out of the alley and heads toward the whistling that's grown exponentially louder.

He tries to calm his racing heart and puts a causal mask back over his face. His thoughts, on the other hand, were frantic. Not only did he hope and pray that you stayed hidden, but now he had to not freak out because of the two things he had just learned.

He was not a Baem member, and he sure as hell didn't belong with them.

Y/N's POV

You stayed hidden behind the giant garbage bin as your thoughts tripped over themselves. What in the actual fuck was going on?

You steady your breathing and try to listen for any sounds, but the alley was like a wind tunnel. Noise traveled in from both entrances, and cars masked the sounds the pedestrians made.

Your throat fucking hurt and your body wanted to slump against the brick wall behind you in exhaustion but the alley walls were coated in a multitude of substances, none of which you wanted to touch, and the garbage bin was no better.

You drop down into a crouch and run your fingers through your hair as your mind still tries to process the situation. Sehun had no freaking clue who you were. There was absolutely zero recollection toward you or any of the words you had said to him. On top of that, he tried to fucking kill you. Even more, he was working with the Baem?!

What were they telling him? How were they able to keep this charade up? ... How were you going to get him back?

But... he couldn't be all the way gone... He knew enough to hide you from the Baem and to send EXO important information on them... and there was a small spark behind his eyes when you mentioned EXO and Chanyeol but maybe that was an illusion due to the lightheadedness you felt after being fucking strangled.

There was a way to get him back. You just had to figure out how.

After a few more minutes, you stand back up and cautiously make your way back down the alley. Once you emerge back onto the sidewalk, you suddenly feel like you're in a liminal space, like you had just walked out of a movie theater after being transported to another world.

After getting to the end of the block, you can no longer keep up the slow, cautious pace, and the need to get back to Minseok was almost unbearable, so you break out in a run. The looks the other people walking on the sidewalk threw at you didn't phase you one bit.

As soon as the car was in sight, you spot Minseok pacing frantically next to it while shouting orders at two of his men who waited next to it. It's only a couple of seconds later when one of his men notices you coming up the block and points you out to him.

Minseok spins around to look at you, and his blazing eyes cause you to slow down your pace. Oh... he was pissed, and you were about to be in so much trouble for just abandoning the vehicle and taking off by yourself.

He immediately begins walking towards you, shouting, "What the fuck were you thinking?!"

People around you look over curiously, and Minseok snaps his head toward them.

"Can I help you?!"

You quickly reach him and grab his arm before he can draw more attention to the two of you.

"You can be pissed at me all you want, but we need to get back to the house. Now."

"Jesus Christ, what happened to your voice?" He immediately questions, concern taking over the anger he once felt.

He searches your face for an answer before his eyes make their way down to your neck. He pauses as he looks at it, and then his hand slowly goes up like he wants to touch it to get a better look, but decides against it. You close your eyes and figure out exactly what he was seeing. Sehun must've left marks...

"What the hell happened?" He lowly asks.

"I don't know if you'd believe me if I told you..."

"Your neck is turning fucking purple, so you better tell me something."

You sigh and bring your hand up to rub your sore neck. You could only imagine the reaction your brother was going to have.

"I saw Sehun."

Minseok's eyes widen into saucers, and he starts throwing a million questions at you. Where? With who? Why wasn't he with you? It was all too much.

You throw your hands up in front of you in a stop motion and snap Minseok's name to get him to stop talking. Once he quiets down, you fill him in on everything that happened and what you suspected was happening. Minseok looked like he wanted to interrupt you multiple times, but he managed to hold everything in.

One of his men steps up to the two of you and gestures toward the vehicle with his head. "I don't think you should be having this conversation on the street."

In the excitement and shock of what happened, both you and Minseok had forgotten all of the rules in place to keep EXO safe and you guiltily look around to take in your surroundings before the two of you head back to the vehicles with his men following closely behind.

As you get into the car, you can't help but ask the one question on your mind. "Do you believe me?"

Minseok sighs and crumples back into the driver seat, then reaches his hand into his pant pocket and pulls out a slip of paper. He hands it over to you and turns his head to see your reaction, while saying, "I do."

You unfold the slip of paper and take in the string of numbers before you. 1248-94.

"What is it?"

"That," Minseok says while turning the car on and shifting the gear into drive, "is Sehun's emergency code."

The two of you speed home as you discuss what all of this was supposed to mean. Sehun had no memory of you or apparently who he was, but he could remember random numbers? He was working with the Baem, but he also hid you from them? You pondered and theorized the entire ride home until Minseok killed the engine in the driveway of the compound.

The two of you get out and spot Jongin and Baekhyun a little farther up ahead. You ignore the pang you feel in your heart as you see Baekhyun. Those feelings would have to wait. There were more important things going on.

"I thought all you had to do was check a box?" Jongin jokes. "Did you guys get lost on the way home?"

Neither you nor Minseok laughs as you approach the duo, and Baekhyun shakes his head before looking away.

"You know, it doesn't hurt to laugh or smile. In fact, I hear it's quite good for you." The youngest continues on, much to your dismay.

"If you had said something funny, I'm sure you would've gotten a reaction." Minseok replies as the two of you come to a stop in front of them.

Jongin goes to reply, but before he can, Baekhyun takes a step toward you. Your eyes are immediately drawn to him, but his eyes were glued to your neck. The anger on his face was clear, but when he raises his eyes to yours, you actually let out a gasp.

You had never seen such a murderous expression on someone's face before, and it literally stole your breath. Baekhyun looked beyond terrifying like he was ready to set the entire world on fire just to watch whoever had hurt you burn with it.

He reaches his hand up to touch your neck while growling out, "Who did this to you?"

Even though he looked like he was ready to stab everyone, his touch on you was still feather-light like a caress. It was enough to make you temporarily forget everything bad that had happened between the two of you.

Jongin steps forward to see what Baekhyun was fussing about, and when he spots your neck, the anger finds his way to his face as well.

"What the fuck happened?" He demands as he looks between you and Minseok.

"I'll tell you guys inside." You say as you turn away to head into the house, but Baekhyun's strong grip stops you.

"Tell me now." He gets out through his barely checked anger.

You turn to face him and grab his hand from your arm, firmly but carefully breaking his hold on you. "It'll be easier to tell everyone at once. Trust me."

You start the walk toward the house, and the three men quickly follow suit. It was quiet at first, everyone processing their own thoughts, but it doesn't stay that way for long.

"You know Junmyeon is going to kill you, right?" Jongin asks Minseok.

The eldest shrugs. "Maybe. Maybe not."

"Is that optimism I hear?" Jongin jokes before pausing. "Actually, why does that scare me?"

You walk into the house and head straight for your favorite spot in the living room. The others could worry about grabbing the rest of the guys. You were going to take a minute to yourself before all hell broke loose.

As everyone begins filing into the living room, you make sure to hide your neck with your hair to the best of your abilities. Once everyone is there, your brother looks expectantly between you and Minseok.

"So, what'd you find?"

"You mean, besides the bruises all over your sister's neck?" Jongin chimes in when he notices your attempt to hide them.

Junmyeon looks at Jongin like he's trying to decide if the younger man is joking, but when he takes in the seriousness on Jongin's face, his gaze snaps to you. All of theirs do.

You let out a scoff as you shoot daggers at Jongin before gathering your hair and pulling it behind your head. Junmyeon's eyes bulge as he takes in the marks, and Yixing quickly gets up from the couch and comes over to examine your neck.

You cautiously look over at your brother while Yixing assesses the bruises, and you find the same murderous intent that was present on Baekhyun's face. Great. Now there were two of them.

"Are you having any trouble breathing or speaking?" You nod because you knew he was going to figure it out the second you started talking, and he looks at you in concern. "When this is over, come with me down to medical. You're going to want to ice that, and I want to make sure there's no real damage."

Once you tell him okay, he heads back to his seat, but his troubled gaze remains on you. Junmyeon, on the other hand, immediately turns on Minseok.

"How could you let this happen?! I literally just told you to keep her safe!" Before Minseok can respond, he turns to you. "Who did this to you?!"

You bite your lip. Seven expectant faces watch you, but your eyes fall on Minseok, who gives you a small nod.

"It was Sehun."

You could've heard a pin drop. An ant walking by would've made an actual sound. You almost began to wonder if someone paused the simulation with the way they all froze.

"What did you just say?" Chanyeol asks with a deadly calm.

"Are you seriously saying you not only saw Sehun but he strangled you?" Jongin quickly asks.

Jongdae gets his question in there before you can respond. "Are you sure it was Sehun? It wasn't someone who just looked like him?"

You give Jongdae a disgusted look as anger quickly rises in you, and in the most sarcastic voice you can muster, you say, "Yep. You're right. I forgot the person who literally had their hands around my neck as he tried to choke me to death. My bad."

"Okay. Everyone just hold the fuck on." Your brother shouts.

You run your hands through your hair in frustration. This wasn't going to be easy, and you knew that, but you didn't think that they would straight up dismiss the idea.

The sensation that someone was watching you sweeps over you, and you look over to see Chanyeol eyeing you intently. You meet his stare and wonder what thoughts were running through his head.

"I believe her because this," Minseok says to the group as he pulls out the note, "was put in the P.O. box around the same time."

Junmyeon takes the note Minseok held out to him and reads the numbers out loud. Once the last number comes out, the room explodes with questions, everyone talking over the other in confusion and excitement. It was chaotic enough to give you a headache.

You drop your head down into your hands to rub at the growing pain, like that would make it better, when a hard grip on your arm wrenches your hands away from your face. You look up in alarm and confusion to see Chanyeol's frantic face in front of you. His wild eyes searching yours as he demands to know what else happened with Sehun.

Before you can say anything in response, Chanyeol is ripped away from you and thrown up against the wall next to your chair. You watch with wide eyes as your brother squeezes the front of Chanyeol's throat, putting enough pressure on Chanyeol's vocal cords to cause the man to yell in pain.

"Don't you ever touch my sister like that again, Chanyeol, or I'll fucking kill you."

The parallels between what your brother was doing to Chanyeol and what Chanyeol's cousin had done to you were not lost on you, and you sat there with your mouth open in shock.

The rest of the guys quickly pull the two apart while you sit there frozen, and it takes a few moments for everyone to calm down.

"I'm sorry, Y/N..." Chanyeol sadly says in a weak voice.

"That's not good enough, Chanyeol." Junmyeon snaps at him.

Chanyeol, who had been dropped on the floor by the couch, nods his head and brings his knees up to his chest like he was trying to protect himself from the world. He looked so lost...

"I just don't get why Sehun would strangle you but then leave his help code... and where the hell has he been?" Jongdae asks.

"There's more to the story," Minseok says, giving you an opening to tell them what was going on.

One by one, the members all look over at you, even Chanyeol, who slowly raises his head to you with a wince as he sees the marks on your neck.

"Sehun..." You trail off, not knowing how to say it. "I think Sehun lost his memories..."

You're met with silence until your brother croaks out a "what?".

"He didn't remember me. When I brought up EXO and Chanyeol, he said nothing... He doesn't even remember the warehouse..."

The men slowly took in the information, each one of them silently trying to figure out how this happened. Your eyes find Chanyeol, who looks utterly devastated, and even though he was being a giant dick, your heart went out to him. Chanyeol did everything he could think of to try to find Sehun and bring him home, and when that failed, he lost himself. Now, he had just learned that Sehun didn't even remember him...

"That's not all... He's also working with the Baem."

Tagging: @knjkitten @kpopserene @multifandombxxch @tashaxvamp @kpop---scenarios @bhyunni @chanyeolismybaby @flaming-laboob @taetaeeyong @lilbitoflyssa @misstressporkchoppp @hoseok-wang @spiltkpop @isha454 @depuis2mille @marovekian1 @ladylynae @abby8451 @lynniev @insta1010 @sawadabegum @avxngxrrogxrs @equesasprokishi @imstuckinafictionaluniverse @layisanangel @mongryong-the-corgi @overthelamebowz @lizbether01 @thatanonymousgirl-as14 @nothingbutadeadesceane @kim-ji-hyeons-world @suhappysuho @futuremrspcy @lovebuginlove @skylions-den @precious-seungwooya @softysuho @kuppyjiminie @blushinyouth @bat-shark-repellant @vickylamore @heartshapedenchiladas @cardtak @tanithrea @wooya1224 @multifanstuff

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dustofbrokenheart · 3 years

Text

The Covenant: Tech Guy

Reid Garwin x Reader

Word Count: 3,826

Summary: After renting a laptop from your campus library, you run into a download problem. A call to Library Tech Services for help introduces you to Tech Guy. Good at his job, but with questionable people skills, you learn to work with him. It certainly helps that he has an attractive voice.

This was not good, not good at all. It was less than an hour to midnight, the sun long since having set, and time seemed to pas faster, not slower, the later it got.

Now, you considered yourself to be pretty good with technology, perhaps not a computer genius but good enough to be able to troubleshoot most of your problems. It was pure bad luck that the night your capabilities failed was the night before you had an assignment due in Graphic Design.

Your own laptop had been ruined after an accident in the library had left the screen nothing more than a web of shattered fragments, but thankfully the library also carried laptops for checkout which saved you from having to fork out money that you didn’t have to buy a new one. You thought that checking out a laptop would be a quick fix to your problem, but you underestimated how high their demand was.

The librarian you spoke with at the circulation desk put you on a waiting list much to your disappointment and you left the building empty handed, unsure when one would become available.

The answer was six days later, the night before you had something due.

When they left a voicemail on your cell phone around seven o’clock to tell you that it was ready for pick-up, you immediately hopped on a bus bound for the library. The anxiety should have been somewhat alleviated because you could actually start to work on it now but when you got back to your dorm room and opened it up, another problem presented itself: the program you needed wasn’t installed.

Bad luck 1 – You 0.

Every time you tried to install it a message would pop up prompting you to enter an admin username and password in order to start the process. You had never seen that message before and innocently tried your own username and password. When that didn’t work, you tried three more times just to be sure.

Next stop was the internet, everyone’s favorite place to ask questions. You ran a quick search describing the problem and read through a couple of chat room threads. Disappointingly, nothing really applied to the situation at hand.

In hindsight, you shouldn’t have spent so much time trying to fix it because all that came of it was a lot of wasted time and you still hadn’t installed the program. You really didn’t want to take another trip to the library tonight if you could help it.

Frustrated and stuck you opened up the library’s webpage to see if there were any answers to be found. They didn’t but you did find the phone number for Library Tech Services, which was miraculously open even this late in the night.

Punching in the numbers you dialed and waited for someone to answer and when they did, it was short and to the point. “Library Tech.”

“Umm, hi… my name is y/n and I’m having an issue installing a program on my laptop rental.”

“Hmm. What’s the problem?” Again, not much to go on but the you could admit that tech guy’s voice sounded attractive.

“Well. I clicked on the install button, but as soon as I did a message telling me that I needed admin permission to continue flashed on my screen.”

“Did you try your university username and password?”

“Yes.”

“Did you double check that you typed everything correctly?”

“Yes.”

“Did you try Google?”

“Of course, I did,” you answered with exasperation. He snickered and you felt your hackles rise. You called the number to get helped, not to get laughed at. Attractive voice be damned.

“I promise I exhausted every trick I know, I’m not stupid. But I do have something to finish tonight so if you can help me out here, that’d be great.”

For a split second you felt bad for being short with him but the aggravation was quick to return. He was the one providing terrible customer service… why should you feel bad calling him out on it?

He must’ve gotten the hint because he cleared his throat and started being serious. “The library puts restrictions on its laptops because they don’t want people downloading stuff willy nilly. What do you need to install?”

“Just Adobe Illustrator.”

You heard him typing on a keyboard in the background. “Sounds okay to me. I’ll just give you the admin credentials so you don’t have to make a trip over here tonight.”

You started to say thanks until you processed the end of that sentence. “Wait, what do you mean by that?”

“Normally we require people to come in person to fill out a form. Once the request is approved, a person is supposed to enter in the admin stuff, but I’m going to give it out over the phone to save you some time.”

His words left you speechless. You had no idea there was a whole process to do something so simple as install a program; you should’ve asked more questions before you walked out with it. It was a good thing to remember for next time. And the earlier guilt returned, too. He was being so nice now, bending the rules so you didn’t have to make another trek on the bus, which was quite frankly a gamble after dark.

You thanked him profusely, the tension draining from your shoulders. Once you told him the laptops id number and he was able to confirm that it was rented out to your account, he shared the username and password with you.

With baited breath, you typed in exactly what he told you to and couldn’t help the happy noise that escaped you when it worked. It was impossible that tech guy saw your chair dance through the phone but he laughed again, making you question if he somehow knew anyway.

“Thanks, you’re a life saver!”

He cleared his throat and said “Glad to be of service.” Then he hung up without another word.

You pulled the phone away from your ear and looked at it blankly. What the heck was that about? Thinking back on the conversation left you feeling very confused but you threw yourself into getting your images drawn up on Illustrator and soon lost yourself in the work.

You ended up staying up late well past your normal bedtime but the deadline was enough motivation for you to push through the drowsiness and yawns. Around 3:30 you finally finished and emailed it to the professor so you wouldn’t have to worry about it in the morning.

Sleep came easy that night and you vaguely remembered dreaming about tech guy’s voice which was utterly ridiculous. He hadn’t even mentioned his name, for goodness sakes! Plus, he was so hard to read, bouncing between jerk and nice on a whim. Nope. You were not going to stoop to finding out who he was. Not a chance.

After yesterday’s incident, your first course of the new day was to go grab a cup of coffee. You weren’t an easy riser on a good day, even less so after being up until the wee hours of the morning and caffeine was going to be essential for powering you through your classes.

Your go-to place was a campus coffee shop two blocks down from your dorm. It was still winter but you found that as long as you bundled up, the walk over went quickly and the cold air worked wonders for organizing your thoughts. But the real reason it was your favorite was not its closeness, it wasn’t even for the coffee; it was because of the heavenly pastries they made daily. The croissants, the eclairs, the danishes… they were all excellent. None was above their banana chocolate chip muffins.

A little bell chimed as you opened the door and the blast of heat from inside the shop felt nice against your chilled cheeks. The familiar worker at the register looked up and smiled when they saw you. “Hey, y/n! Should I start working on your cappuccino order?”

“Yes, please!” You approached the counter, removing your gloves to make it easier to take out your card from your wallet. A gleaming dessert case also caught your eye and you tried to glance over discreetly. As subtle as you tried to be, the cashier knew you too well after serving you for the past couple of years.

“Oh, sorry. We’re out those again.”

“Again?” you questioned sorrowfully.

He gave you a sympathetic shrug. “They’re very popular, they always go fast.”

It used to be that you could get your hands on a banana chocolate chip muffin whenever you wanted one but the secret must’ve gotten out to the rest of campus because you’d struck out for the past weeks. With a dramatic sigh, you settled for a chocolate croissant. It was no muffin but it was something to tide over your stomach until lunch.

“You know,” you started conspiratorially, “How can someone be so talented yet stupid simultaneously? If that no-good-baker bothered to make more of them knowing how fast they sell, this wouldn’t happen.”

You had never actually met the baker that was the source of the yummy pastries. In fact, you’d never even seen him and only knew that he was good at what he did and that he never came out to the front of the shop. There was really no reason why you ragged on him that morning other than you had major plans for that muffin that now had to be put on hold.

The cashier chuckled as he rang you up and looked back at the door to the kitchen for a moment. “I’ll pass along the message.” He slipped the croissant in a brown paper bag and handed it, along with the travel coffee cup, over to you. “Have a good day. See you next time.”

You accepted it with a “You, too,” and were out the door to catch the next bus to your class.

***

Later that week, you ran into a familiar problem with the laptop. This time you needed to add Photoshop but figured that it shouldn’t be an issue now that you knew the password. So when you typed in the exact same thing as last time and the computer told you it was incorrect, you dragged a hand down your face and groaned. Well, you weren’t going to make the same mistake twice.

Swiveling around in your chair you grabbed your phone and called the Tech Services line again. The only thing that would make this even better would be if tech guy answered again, that’s how your luck was going that week. And sure enough, “Library Tech Services.”

You refrained from groaning again. Out loud anyway. “Hi, it’s y/n again. I was the one who called about the admin credentials Monday night?”

“What’s up?”

“I’m trying to install Photoshop right now and it’s telling me the username/password is incorrect, which is impossible because it’s what I used the last time.”

“Right. We had to change the password for our monthly maintenance, it’s a security thing.”

“You’re kidding,” you said surprise coloring your voice. “Any chance you can share the new one with me?”

“Technically, I wasn’t supposed to give that to you last time.”

It was time to turn on the charm and convince him like you managed to previously. As you pleaded with him to do you this favor he interrupted you.

“How bad do you need it?”

What was wrong with you that hearing him say that put your mind in the gutter? He definitely hadn’t meant it that way when he said it! He was much chattier this time around so you were able to appreciate his voice better and his voice just did it for you.

You cleared your throat. “It’s not an emergency this time, no impending next-day deadlines, but I do want to get working on this new assignment…”

“Okay, okay. You’re lucky I like you.” That was news to you because you didn’t get that vibe based on the last call. It was nice to hear though. Some clicks sounded from the other end of the line and you waited silently for a few moments before he was ready to say the new password.

“Whew, we’re good to go,” you updated him as the Photoshop installation started. Another moment of silence passed.

Finally, he said a quick, “Good.”

You weren’t caught off guard when you heard the click that signaled he had hung up. Unlike the last call, he hadn’t seemed rude and he did mention that he liked you. Maybe he was just an awkward sort of guy, despite his killer voice. That might explain why he worked an IT job, weren’t those kinds of guys supposed to have terrible people skills?

You worked with Photoshop for a bit and when you reached a good stopping point, you got ready for bed. That night you laid awake for a while, unable to drift off to sleep. Instead, you replayed the conversation with tech guy over and over in your mind.

He was very helpful when he wasn’t giving an attitude and he this was the second time he had bent the rules for you. That pesky word ‘like’ kept rattling in your brain and you started to wonder if that nice voice belonged to a nice face. Furthermore, was there a chance that he found your voice attractive as well?

***

Sunday morning on a college campus seemed like a smart time to visit the coffee given that most of campus wasn’t up yet, which increased the chances of you getting your hands on a banana chocolate chip muffin. Maybe even two or three if you were honest, to make up for the past several failed attempts.

The sun hadn’t been up long when you opened the door, the little jingling bell announcing your presence. A barrage of delicious aromas caressed your nose and to your extreme delight, one of the scents you detected was a banana-chocolate combination.

You walked up to the counter and the cashier smiled as he told you good morning.

“So… can I get three banana chocolate chip muffins?”

He merely smiled and started working on your cappuccino. “Of course. Reid just finished them so they still in the kitchen, piping hot.”

Reid must be the baker that was responsible for the muffins as well as responsible for never making enough. “Finally! This is a long time coming for me.”

“I passed him your message, I think he took it to heart.” He handed over the drink and turned to go to the kitchen. “I’ll be back with the muffins.”

He pushed the door open and for a split second you caught a glimpse of a side profile belonging to a blonde guy. He was too far away to distinctly make out any facial features but he had nice shoulders framed by his black tee and obvious blonde hair that was hard to miss. He looked cute to you, at least from a distance.

Those two details were the only things you took note of before the door closed, effectively blocking you from more staring. Too bad. It was totally ridiculous to think about but tech guy’s voice would be a good combination with baker guy’s looks.

You picked at the lid of the coffee cup while you waited for the rest of your order already anticipating how they would taste. Your plan was to only eat one this morning and to ration the rest, but you were honest enough with yourself to know that you might enter a feeding frenzy and have all three finished by lunch.

When the door opened up again your eyes searched for the seemingly cute baker but there was no sign of him. There wasn’t a chance to get down about it, however, because a smile lit up your face as soon as you saw the medium sized brown paper bag that held the muffins.

“Reid says these are especially for you,” the cashier said as he lifted the bag over the register.

You were quick to raise your hands to take it from him and made sure to thank him as you left, not questioning why Reid, a person you’d never met, would make a comment like that, figuring that he was referring to how you complained that the muffins were always sold out.

The morning air was especially cold as you trekked back to your dorm, your breath condensing into a fleeting, frozen cloud around your face and the only thing keeping your hands warm was the cappuccino you held between gloved hands. Still, the trip to the coffee shop was definitely worth it and you were hoping that it was a good omen to start the day off with.

***

Perhaps you were still experiencing the high of the morning victory at the coffee shop, but later on that night while you were working on homework once again, you started thinking about tech guy again. There wasn’t any need to call him; you now had both Illustrator and Photoshop on the laptop and there wasn’t anything else that you needed to install.

Still, you debated calling him. Not because you needed to but because you wanted to. Which was weird, even to you, but you had missed him the past couple of days, bad people skills and all. After the second call, you felt even more confident that he wasn’t as condescending a guy as you had first thought him to be. And you wouldn’t mind getting to know that awkward version of him better.

The hard part was you literally knew nothing about him other than he worked the night shift at the library. You didn’t have a name, a face, not even a work schedule to confirm whether he was working tonight or not. Reid must’ve been serious when he told the cashier those muffins were made especially for you because there had to have been a secret dose of recklessness mixed in there. How else would you explain this strange, and potentially creepy, call you were about to make?

The dial tone rang and you took a deep breath, not sure how this would turn out. On the fifth ring, someone finally picked up. “Library Tech Services.”

You laughed in relief. Tech guy was the on the other end of the phone. “Hey.”

“Hey, y/n. Having another crisis?” On one hand you felt a little embarrassed that you no longer had to say your name for him to recognize your voice but on the other, the possibility that he enjoyed talking with you, too.

“It may come as a surprise but I can get through a day without having a tech issue that needs solving.”

“Oh, really?”

“I swear.” You crossed your heart even though he couldn’t see you.

“Well, what do you want then?”

Time to be brave. “Actually, I called for you.”

“I would hope so, I’m the only who works this shift meaning I’m your only option.”

“No, um, I meant I wanted to tell you thanks for helping me out with installing that stuff on the laptop. You were a lifesaver.”

“I try.”

“Seriously! I definitely would’ve missed one graphic design deadline, potentially two if you hadn’t come to the rescue.”

That seemed to get his attention. “Is that your major? Graphic Design?”

“Yep. Don’t I give off bumbling artist vibes?”

“Hmm you seem pretty confident to me but there’s nothing wrong with that. My grandma was—” He started that sentence but abruptly cut off and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“Are you saying I remind you of your grandma?”

“Shit,” he grumbled. “My friends told me to stop bringing her up when talking to hot people.”

“Don’t sweat it, she sounds like she was awesome so I’m honored. But back to the part where I’m hot… do you really think so?”

“Obviously. Do you think I hand out library secrets to every person who calls? Your voice is strong and you sound super smart so I tried my best to be cool with you.”

“Okay but future tip: hanging up on people and not telling them your name is rude, not cool.”

His embarrassment was tangible through the phone and you let him sweat momentarily before speaking. “Luckily for you, I like dorks such as yourself and am willing to look past it as long as I get your name.”

“It’s Reid. Reid Garwin,” he rushed to say.

Now that was interesting. You fell back on your bed, your brain trying to make connections. The name while not super common, wasn’t rare either and what were the chances that you met two of them on the same day. If Reid with the nice body and tech guy, er, Reid with the nice voice were one in the same, you wouldn’t be upset. Quite the contrary.

“Reid as in Reid who bakes my favorite sugar fixes on campus?”

“One in the same. You seen me there before?”

“Only once,” you reveal. “When I went to pick up some muffins this today.”

It was his turn to laugh. “Wait. Are you saying that you’re that customer who called me stupid the other day?”

“…Maybe.”

“They don’t let me out front cause I’m ‘too much’ for people but rest assured that the door isn’t that thick. I feel like an idiot for not recognizing that it was you though.”

The revelation that Reid was baking a tech hero, a winning mix by the way, thrilled you all the way from your head to your toes. At the moment you didn’t even care that he heard you calling him names at the coffee shop although you were sure the mortification would set in later.

“Would you like to go out sometime—”

“You do want to go out with me sometime—”

The two of you spoke at the same time and when you realized that the other had read your mind, you both giggled.

“After you,” you assured him.

“Shit, would you like to go out sometime? There’s a restaurant downtown that’s really good and I promise not to bring up grandma Garwin again.”

The plan was to pretend to think about it but your excitement overrode your brain and you said, “Deal as long as you promise to tell me more about her, not less.”

He started to answer you but stopped suddenly and you could vaguely hear him getting scolded by someone, reminding you that technically he was still on the clock.

“Sorry,” he grumbled, “The librarian on duty told me to stop flirting and get back to work. Stop by the coffee shop tomorrow though and we can talk more.”

You said your good-byes and rolled around your bed, the comforter thoroughly rumpled by the time you stopped. It seemed that your luck may be turning around for the better.

_______________

Thanks for reading my most self-indulgent piece to date. Also my longest! Reid may consider himself to be mister cool, but he is also an awkward bean who would make a great tech guy. It's also my first time experimenting with moodboards, let me know what you think :)

#the covenant #reid garwin #reid garwin x reader #imagines

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