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whatifyoulivelikethat · 3 years

Text

car ride, m | kth, jjk

pairing(s): taehyung x reader x jungkook

summary: You really know how to make a car ride, er... eventful. Maybe too eventful for Kim Taehyung and Jeon Jungkook. They try to punish you, but who are we kidding? The three of you are too busy being horny as fuck. Oh well.

warnings: rated M (18+) for language, (slight) exhibitionism; intense smut (fem reader, fingering, lil cock slapping, threesome, m-receiving oral, f and m-masturbation, double penetration/spit-roasting, cum eating; also you get covered in cum, yay!); fluff; non-idol!AU; noona!reader and you’re all nymphos, welp

Technically a continuation of just kidding and ii, but can be read alone.

–

Kim Taehyung said it first.

“She’s actually insane.”

Jeon Jungkook nodded tightly; jaw clenched as he tried not to stare at you through the rearview mirror.

Thirty minutes ago, you had called Taehyung, tone casual and light.

“Hey, could you pick me up? I think I missed the last bus.”

“Hm, sure.”

“Bring Jungkook with you, please.”

And then you hung up.

Taehyung had stared at his phone, frowning. Then he went to go collect Jungkook, who was in the middle of editing a music video. He edited videos for indie bands in his spare time, kind of for fun, kind of as a passion project. He did want to be a director or video editor, after all.

“Oi, our horny little seductress called.”

Jungkook had snapped his head far too quickly, long black hair cascading against his cheek, eyes glittering with interest. Too much interest. Taehyung would be lying if he said he wasn’t a little annoyed.

“Asked you to come, so you’re driving.”

Jungkook had grinned.

“Okay.”

Except it was not okay. Very not okay.

“You can sit in the front, Tae. I need space for my bag.”

So now the three of you were sitting in Jungkook’s car, Jungkook driving, Taehyung riding shotgun as you sat in the backseat. From this position, you could see Jungkook’s black sweater and Taehyung’s camel coat. You were wearing an oversized black parka with a nine-pointed star embordered on the chest, your black leather skull-shaped purse chilling beside you. Knee-high black leather boots.

Bare legs.

That should have been their first warning sign.

“What were you doing?” Taehyung had asked as you climbed in. Jungkook started the car, pulling out of the parking garage, into the night.

“Doctor’s appointment for my wrist.” You sighed, tapping your right arm. “Just a check-up.” You pulled down the sleeve of your large parka, showing the wrist brace. “I should at least sleep with it.”

Taehyung scratched his head. “Damn, I didn’t realize your carpal tunnel was that bad.”

You waved your hand. “It’ll be fine. I’m exercising it.”

“Where to?” Jungkook chirped, stopping at a red light.

Pop.

Jungkook’s dark brown eyes flickered to the rearview mirror, narrowing. His face was lit with red from the cars in front of him. Taehyung turned around sharply. You smiled, feeling the cold air on your bare collarbones. Pop, pop, pop. The silver buttons of your parka snapped apart, revealing skin. Bare skin, the gentle curve of your breasts and cleavage. Taehyung’s dark eyes widened, as you pushed the sides apart, your naked breasts bouncing as the light turned green.

“WHAT THE FUCK?”

A car honked very loudly behind Jungkook and he was forced to press on the accelerator as Taehyung exploded, his deep voice booming as he gawked at your tits.

“Are you insane?” Taehyung shouted.

You grinned, cupping your breasts and squeezing your nipples between two fingers, mouth open, tongue tracing your teeth from side to side.

Taehyung snapped back forward, searching for police.

“She’s actually insane.”

Jungkook clenched his jaw so tight that he couldn’t say anything, trying to focus on driving and only driving, and not the sound of you moaning as you played with your breasts, pressing them together and flicking your nipples.

“Do you want us to get arrested?” Taehyung hissed, sneaking glances at you in the darkness while simultaneously darting his eyes around for literally anyone who might be able to witness your sinful lunacy.

“Taehyung, she went to the doctor like that,” Jungkook gritted out.

That thought apparently hadn’t crossed Taehyung’s mind. He whipped his head around again, eyes so wide that you paused your heinous display of lust for a second, afraid they were going to fall out of his head.

“WHAT THE FUCK?” he roared.

You grinned, holding your hands up. “I didn’t have to take my coat off, if that makes you feel better,” you said cheerfully.

Taehyung did not look like he felt better. In fact, he looked like he was going to pass out. He lifted his head to stare at the sky, mouthing silent words, running a large hand through his dark brown hair and messing it up. Your mouth watered, seeing that hand, knowing what it could do. Jungkook’s knuckles were white with how hard he was gripping the steering wheel.

“So, where are we go–?” you began, far too cheerfully for the two men in front of you.

Jungkook cut you off tightly. “Ours. You are going to our place. Now.”

“Ah,” you exhaled, smiling. “That’s good.” You nuzzled back into your seat, tits still out, nipples hard from the cold air. “That’s very good.” You spread your legs, hands clutching both sides of your black parka.

Pop, pop, pop, pop.

Jungkook nearly veered off the road.

“WHAT THE HELL?”

Taehyung was going to get whiplash with how hard he kept jerking his head back and forth. “Where the fuck are your panties?”

You placed a finger to your lips, smirking. “Oh no, I think I lost them.”

Maybe it was time to pray because Jungkook was trying very hard not to fucking die, his eyes shooting from the road, to the rearview mirror, to the road, to the mirror, veins popping in his forehead, his black hair covering his left eye. You pushed the shoulders of your parka down, spreading it open, inserting your finger into your mouth.

“Noona, don’t you fucking dare…” Jungkook warned.

But you did dare, swirling your tongue around your finger, softly moaning his name, Taehyung slack-jawed as your lashes lowered. You ground your hips into the seat, pussy already glistening as you popped your fingertip out of your mouth, making Jungkook hiss, sliding your hand down your neck, between your breasts, all the way down, down, pressing your wet finger against your clit.

Taehyung’s voice went low, dangerous.

“Are you a bad, bad girl, noona?” he growled.

You bit your lip, pressing down on your bundle of nerves, gasping. “I’m a good girl sometimes… But it’s so hard...” You rubbed your clit slowly, pushing your head back into the headrest, locking eyes with Taehyung, rocking your hips into your hand. “It’s so hard when I want to be naughty for you, Tae…”

His beautiful lips curved into a wicked smile, voice so low it was tearing through you, burning you with arousal. “Yeah? Just for me?”

You cried out softly, adding more pressure. Your eyes flickered to the rearview mirror, to Jungkook’s panicked, blown-out pupils.

“No… For Jungkook, t-too…”

“Fucking shit,” Jungkook breathed, trying to drive slow and steady so he wouldn’t die while having the biggest hard-on of his life.

Taehyung yanked the lever of the passenger’s seat, pushing down the back to get closer to you. Jungkook slammed his palm against the wheel, snarling at him, but Taehyung completely ignored his outburst, sliding up the seat. You licked your lips and rubbed yourself faster, tipping your hips in his direction.

“Fuck,” Taehyung breathed, eyes roaming over your form. “You’re so fucking hot, noona.”

“Tae…” you whined, angling yourself to him.

“You want me to touch you, noona?” Taehyung purred; eyes even darker from the low light. He lifted his hand, flexing his long fingers. “You want me to touch that naughty pussy of yours?”

You whimpered, stroking your clit, chasing your orgasm, your dripping wet hole opening and closing, begging for his fingers. He dragged himself closer, fingertips dancing on your thigh. So hot, so close, fuck, you wanted him, Taehyung and his hungry eyes.

“I want to tell you no,” he whispered, gravelly and deep. “Shit, I want to tell you no and make you get yourself off, but you’re so fucking sexy, I just have to touch that dirty little pussy.”

And then he shoved two fingers into you, making you throw your head back and moan, long and wanton, Jungkook’s frustrated cries coming from the front seat as Taehyung’s fingers squelched into you, hard and fast and rough, not letting you get used to him, but you didn’t care, didn’t give a single fuck as you fucked your hips into his fingers. Gasping his name, rutting into his hand.

“Tell me when you’re close,” Taehyung demanded. “Be a good girl and tell me when you’re close.”

You nodded tightly, feeling the car slow as Jungkook pulled into the neighborhoods, nearing your orgasm, rubbing yourself fast as Taehyung thrust his fingers into you, your head pressing against the glass window. You panted, hip rising to meet him.

“A-ah, Taehyung, your fingers feel so good, so good, so fucking good,” you gasped. “Gonna cum, gonna cum just for you, Tae, all over your hand...”

Taehyung’s eyebrow rose, a smirk on his lips as he pumped his fingers into you, watching you come undone, seeing you hit the peak. Voice low, sexy, and authoritative.

“Oh, you wish.”

And then he ripped his fingers out of you as you screamed, your juices spilling out, pussy empty and clenching, orgasm hit, but wildly unsatisfying as Taehyung lifted himself up, grinning over you, fingers slick as he slid them into his mouth, licking them off. Your cum slid all over your thighs, dripping down, falling onto the carpet of Jungkook’s car.

“T-Taehyung!” you panted indignantly, sitting up sharply. “How could you!”

He cocked his head as the car stopped. Jungkook tore himself out of the seat, practically blasting his car door open to rip open your door, snatching you from the backseat. He slammed your nakedness against his black sweater and jeans, his hard body flexed against yours. You gasped at the sudden force, skin tingling with stimulation, the aftershocks of your orgasm still trembling through you.

“Noona,” he growled into your face, bringing his dark eyes to yours. “We have to teach you a lesson.”

Somehow, the three of you made it into the apartment without you flashing the entire complex.

Nice.

Getting you out of your clothes was easy. You were barely wearing any after all.

Taehyung shoved you against the hallway wall, tearing off his camel coat. You grabbed his white shirt and kissed him, hard, his musky cologne filling your nose. He whispered your name against your lips, grating and dangerous, smiling as you kissed him hungrily. You changed your positions, still kissing him, pushing him into the wall as Jungkook came up behind you, rolling his hard body into your back, sandwiching your nakedness between their clothed bodies. Jungkook grabbed your head and yanked your hair back, breaking your kiss with Taehyung to crash his lips into yours, forcing his tongue into your mouth and fucking it roughly, making you whimper.

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful,” Taehyung growled, grabbing your thighs and hoisting them up to hook them around his waist. You leaned against Jungkook’s chest, holding your upper body up Taehyung licked up your breasts, latching his lips to your nipple. You whined in Jungkook’s mouth, hands coming up to grab the black fabric of his sweater, back arching. Taehyung’s large hands found your ass, smacking it once before gripping it tightly.

“You’re so naughty,” Jungkook murmured against your lips, right hand snaking around your waist, in between your legs. Taehyung narrowed his eyes at him, but Jungkook was focused on you and only you, your panting mouth as Taehyung sucked on your nipples, switching between them. “Dirty girl, walking around the city without underwear,” Jungkook purred, watching you gasp as he slid his fingers in between Taeyang’s clothed stomach and your dripping pussy. “Were you thinking about us all day, desperate for our cocks to fill you up?”

Your arms encircled Jungkook’s neck as you moaned, head against his broad shoulder as he began to rub your clit.

“Y-yes…”

Jungkook’s breath so hot against your neck as Taehyung spread your nipples with his tongue. You rocked your hips into his stomach, so wet Taehyung’s white t-shirt squelched against his skin, Jungkook’s fingers rubbing you hard and fast, racing you to your orgasm.

“You’re such a bad girl, noona. What are we going to do with you? Should we give you cock?” Jungkook snarled, so low and dangerous that you shivered, crying out Taehyung’s name as he nipped at your nipple, sending shocks of pain through you.

“P-please…” you panted, eyes rolling back as Jungkook pinched your clit, your hips grinding into Taehyung’s shirt. “Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me…”

Taehyung removed his mouth sharply and you whined, nipples dripping with his saliva.

“You think you deserve cock, noona?” Taehyung barked, spanking your ass hard as he spoke, punctuating his words with slaps. “You’ve been such a bad, bad girl. Should we even let you finish?”

You were nearly sobbing now, knowing you were so close, so close, breath hitching as Jungkook violently stroked you to orgasm.

“P-please… Please, Taehyung, let me cum, please, I need to cum so bad, please…”

Taehyung smirked, locking eyes with Jungkook.

“Aw, too bad I’m not the one pleasuring you.”

And then Jungkook tore his hand from you, making you wail, orgasm met, but wholly unsatisfying as you leaked all over Taehyung’s stomach, legs shaking, almost slipping if it wasn’t for Jungkook’s strong arms catching you. You clenched Jungkook’s sweater, yanking hard.

“You guys are so fucking mean!”

Taehyung chuckled as your legs slid down, down, gently placing you on the floor. He looked down at his white t-shirt and shook his head.

“You made a mess.”

You glared at him and then at Jungkook, who gave you an arrogant smirk.

“Sorry, noona. You nearly killed us all with your antics, after all.”

“Are you saying it wasn’t fun?” you countered.

Jungkook’s smirk grew. “It’s fun punishing you too.”

You narrowed your eyes, but quickly became distracted with Taehyung stepping away from the wall, pointing to the door at the end of the hall.

“Go.” A command.

That wasn’t Taehyung’s room. You tilted your head. You’d never been in Jungkook’s room before.

“Now.”

Your eyes shifted to Jungkook and he cocked his chin in the same direction. You frowned but went, legs still unsteady. Jungkook began to walk after you, but Taehyung grabbed his forearm, stopping him.

“Jungkook.”

The younger man turned his head to look at him. Taehyung’s expression was very stern, almost cold.

“There can be no one else,” he said quietly. “I’ll kill you if you hurt her.”

Jungkook blinked. He had never seen Taehyung so serious over a woman. Sure, Taehyung dated and fucked around, but he let things go quite easily most of the time. Jungkook placed a hand over his, staring straight into Taehyung’s eyes.

“Okay.”

Taehyung’s grip tightened, eyes hardening.

Jungkook smiled, lowering his hand.

“Trust me, hyung, she’s more than enough for me. I don’t need anyone else.”

After a long moment, Taehyung let him go, turning away to go to his room. Jungkook looked after him, rubbing his arm. He turned away, gazing at his now open door. A weird feeling overcame him, a strange push and pull, before he brushed it aside and walked to his bedroom. Jungkook stopped at the doorframe.

And was greeted by the sight of you sprawled out in his gaming chair, holding one of his t-shirts against your chest, inhaling deeply as your eyes closed, right hand between your legs. Your wrist brace was making it difficult to go fast, so instead you stroked your clit slowly, breathing in the scent of his residual cologne that clung to his clothes, paying little attention to the fact that Jungkook was now watching you, amused.

"You really are a horny little seductress, aren't you?'

You grinned hearing his deep voice, eyes still closed. You rubbed the fabric against your nipples, moaning at the sensation.

“How often do you sit here, jacking off while thinking about me?” you wondered out loud.

Jungkook clicked his tongue, making you open your eyes.

“Too often.”

You licked your lips, purring his name enticingly. His lips curved into a lazy smirk.

Ah.

Jungkook was just so very, very sexy and he knew it.

Your eyes admired him for a moment. The right side of his hair pinned back, revealing his undercut. Long dark locks obscuring the left side of his face, hiding his angular cheekbone, framing his chiseled jaw and mischievous eyes. He stepped into the room, reaching down and crossing his arms, pulling his sweater up and over his head. You sucked in a breath. His toned torso, lean and tan. His right arm, covered in tattoos, flexing as he pulled the clothing over his head, mussing up his hair. It curled a bit around his forehead. Fuck, both his arms, shapely and strong, deliberately tensing them to make you gasp. Jungkook raised his right hand, tiny tattoos flashing as he beckoned you to him.

“Come here.”

You stood up from his chair slowly, his t-shirt sliding down your body and onto the floor. Light, careful steps as he circled the bed, putting it between you and him. You crawled onto the bed on all fours, hands digging into his slate gray sheets as he stepped to the very edge of the bed, undoing the button of his black jeans, zipping it down as you approached him, nearly moaning when you pushed them past his hips, pressing your face into his black underwear, breathing hotly against his erection. Your eyes traveled back up to him, tongue sliding out and pressing wetly against his clothed cock.

“Fuck,” Jungkook breathed. “You’re so fucking hot.”

You grinned as he pushed his underwear down, his cock springing up to smear pre-cum against your cheek, already dripping from lack of stimulation. You went from base to tip, swirling your tongue all over, watching Jungkook’s head fall back as you took him in your mouth, so wet, so hot, so tight. Took it all the way down, feeling him swell in your mouth deliciously, his strong hand gripping the back of your head, keeping you there.

“Ah, such nice lips…” he purred, releasing your head so you could bob up and down, slowly. “That’s it, noona, just like that.”

You did, keeping a measured but deep pace, sucking in your cheeks. He hissed at the added stimulation, rocking his hips into your face. Jungkook looked back down, seeing you observing him, crouching on your hands and knees, your ass up in the air.

“Look at you, noona,” he murmured, reaching down to tweak your nipple. “So good at swallowing cock, so good at taking it all.”

You whimpered, rubbing your thighs together. Jungkook took both your nipples and pulled, making you groan around his cock. He thrust his hips into your mouth and you almost choked, hands suddenly coming up to grab his thighs. He shushed you, rubbing your nipples soothingly as he pulled out of your mouth, cock slapping your chin wetly.

“On your back. Show me that pretty pussy of yours.”

You scooted back, spreading your legs. Jungkook went to his desk, opening a drawer, watching you as you gripped each side of your thighs, spreading them further, your glistening slit out in the open. You flexed your vaginal muscles, opening and closing, making him suck a tight breath as he rolled the condom on.

“Fuck, that’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.”

He climbed onto the bed, trailing his eyes up to your face and your half-lidded eyes, mouth open, panting his name.

“J-Jungkook, please…”

He smiled. “What is it, noona? What do you want?”

You wiggled your hips into his bed. “Your cock, please, Jungkook, I need it…”

He smacked his length against your clit, earning a sharp gasp. You pushed your head back into his sheets, whining as Jungkook slapped your swollen clit repeatedly with his cock, hard and fast, smearing it with lubrication from the condom. He was so hard that it almost hurt if it wasn’t for the lube.

“Is this enough for you?” Jungkook taunted. “Or does my naughty girl want more?”

“I-inside, please, a-ah, Jungkook, it’s t-too sensitive.…”

He stopped for only a split second before thrusting himself inside you, hissing as you sucked him in, previous stimulations already readying you for him. You rolled your hips, arching your back and gasping his name as Jungkook began, long, deep strokes that made you clench and shudder, aching for more. But before you could say anything, a familiar weight landed on the bed near your head.

Your eyes widened seeing Taehyung’s naked body, strong and handsome, tan skin glowing. His stoic, almost arrogant expression burned into your memory as he hovered over you, stroking his cock leisurely. He pressed it against your cheek, the warm, velvety head smearing pre-cum against your cheek. You tried to turn, but he used his free hand to hold your head still, shutting his eyes as he enjoyed himself.

“Fuck, even your cheek is so soft…” he murmured.

You whined but he shushed you, pressing a finger to your lips as he stroked himself faster, harder, Jungkook deep strokes sliding you up and down the bed. He used your face to stimulate the head, your lips, your cheeks, rocking his hips, smacking you in your face with his balls. Over and over as Jungkook thrust into you, watching your wanton expression as Taehyung’s pre-cum coated your skin. You could hear Taehyung’s breathing becoming shallow, clenching his jaw and closing his eyes.

“Gonna cum on your pretty tits, noona,” Taehyung murmured. “All over your tits, and then I’m going to fuck your mouth.”

You whimpered, watching his shoulders tense as he raised himself over you, Jungkook still fucking you agonizingly slowly, his thick cock stretching you out as Taehyung sucked in a breath, hissing your name tightly. You could only watch, breathless, as white strings squirted out, smacking you hotly in the chest with his thick cum, shuddering as you felt it spread out like fucking cake icing on your nipples and breasts. Jungkook moaned, watching the cum drip downwards, all over your skin.

“Open up,” Taehyung commanded and you opened your mouth. He slid in, readjusting himself so that he was above your head, legs on either side of you, facing Jungkook. He filled your mouth, almost too much even though he just orgasmed. You had to push your head up so he sank deeper into your throat, sticky from Taehyung’s cum soaking into your chest.

Oh, fuuuuck.

Stuffed from front to back, tits covered in cum, neck and back arched uncomfortably to accommodate the two cocks spearing into you, pussy throbbing and orgasming at the thought alone. And feeling it, oh God, feeling so full, so dirty, so used by both Taehyung and Jungkook at the same time made your eyes roll back into your head, tightening the muscles of both holes, muffled moans as you heard Jungkook grunt with effort and Taehyung’s hiss of pleasure. Taehyung controlled the pace as he fucked your face, carefully thrusting into your throat, staring at Jungkook’s dark hair bouncing as he fucked you.

Jungkook seemed to feel his gaze. He looked up.

Taehyung cocked an eyebrow at him.

Then he grabbed Jungkook’s head and forced it down, Jungkook’s eyes widening as he watched your cum-covered tits bounce back and forth, hard nipples swaying in the air. He rammed his hips into you and you whimpered, breasts bouncing harder so he fucked you even rougher, fascinated. Wet, lewd slapping sounds as he watched Taehyung’s cock disappear and reappear from your throat, covered in saliva, so messy that you were drooling down your chin, whining as you gripped his sheets. He felt liquid leaking down his thighs from your orgasms, your pussy clenching around him.

It was so much, so fucking much, Jungkook lifting your legs so he could go deeper, rubbing against your clit punishingly as Taehyung fucked your mouth, his tense thighs indicating that he was close. It made your entire body strain with effort and pleasure, head empty except chasing your orgasm over and over, smitten with the idea of being used like a fucktoy.

“S-so fucking good,” Taehyung groaned. “Such a good girl, taking so much cock all at once.”

“Fuck, I’m going to–”

But Jungkook didn’t get to finish because you wailed around Taehyung’s cock, pussy throbbing as you came, ripping his orgasm from him. He gasped sharply, slamming into you as his cock jerked into your walls, pulsing with you, gripping his entire length. So tight, but soft, his eyelids fluttering at the experience.

It only took Taehyung a few more pumps before he moaned your name, spilling down your throat, almost falling onto Jungkook as you sucked it out of him, swallowing greedily. He inhaled sharply as he snapped his head down to watch your throat constrict repeatedly, drinking it all and squeezing the head with your lips. Taehyung taped your side repeatedly, trying to get you to release him.

“Please, noona, too s-sensitive…”

You unlocked your jaw, gulping a huge vat of air as you realized you could breathe again. Taehyung pushed himself off you, falling against the wooden headboard as Jungkook carefully pulled out. You whined at the loss, back and neck aching. Every nerve hummed, brimming with pleasure, shaking you to your core.

It was glorious.

You panted, lowering your head to look down at Jungkook, dark eyes flashing as sweat from his angular jaw dripped onto your legs. He smirked at you, peeling the condom off and wrapping his hand around his still-hard, slick cock. Your breath caught in your throat as he began to furiously jack himself off, scooting on his knees to get closer to you, right in between your legs.

“J-Jungkook…”

The mole under his chin winked at you as he grinned. “Do you love it when you’re covered in cum, noona?” he panted, licking his lips. “Do you love it when Taehyung and I cum all over you?”

You moaned, your hands sliding up your breasts, smearing Taehyung’s drying cum even more, pinching your nipples as Jungkook gasped, pupils blown wide, eyes locked on your every move.

“Yes, Jungkook, I love it. I love being covered in your and Taehyung’s cum.”

He hissed, hips rocking into his hand as you made your lewd, obscene noises, body shaking as you waited for him. It didn’t take him very long before he groaned, towering over you as it shot out of him, showering you with creamy, salty strings of his orgasm. You dipped your fingers into it, scooping it into your mouth, sighing in satisfaction as Jungkook’s taste mixed with Taehyung’s in your throat, eating up as much a you could, and wiping the rest on your skin, relishing in the dirty act.

You were already prepared to do it again.

You heard Jungkook stumble off to the bathroom as you laid there, panting.

"Are you happy?" Taehyung asked, reaching down to pat your head.

You grinned, bending your head back to look up at him upside down. He seemed surprised at your energy but smiled as you licked your lips, eyes clouded with lust.

"So, so happy, Taehyungie."

He chuckled, dark eyes gazing into yours. You sensed a shift in his demeanor. For some reason, a calm, comforting feeling came over you when Taehyung looked at you. He bent down, his hands cupping your face, thumbs caressing your cheeks. He whispered your name, low and secretive, sending a shiver down your spine. You stared into his neck, watching his Adam’s apple bob as he spoke. His breath against your lips, tickling them.

"I’ll give you whatever you want."

You blinked slowly, lips parting. Now his lips were even closer, touching yours.

"I'll do everything in my power to satisfy you."

And then Taehyung kissed you, intoxicating you with his touch, his scent, his intensity of his lips against yours, tongue thrusting into your mouth. You moaned, thighs rubbing together, clutching Jungkook's sheets, your body trembling as you kissed him. He held you protectively, fingertips pressing into your skin.

"Damn, do you two need a room?" came Jungkook's amused voice.

You broke the kiss softly, pecking Taehyung on the nose lightly before sliding down to Jungkook’s playful expression at the foot of the bed. He was holding a towel, raising at eyebrow at you. You sat up, grinning far too wide, making his smile falter a bit.

“Uh oh.”

“Come here, Jungkookie…”

“Please, we’re only men–gah!”

The next day, you dragged a seat next to Taehyung's gaming chair. He looked up as you sat down, still scrolling with his mouse.

"What's up?" he asked. His voice was smooth, even. He gave you a quizzical look as you laid your head against his shoulder. "You want to fuck again?" he added, smirking.

"No," you pouted, nestling your head on his shoulder. He was reading the new set of League of Legends patch notes. "Just want to be near you."

You saw the reflection of his smile in the computer monitor. He reached over and patted your head, making you hum in bliss. You two stayed like that for a moment, him scrolling periodically as he read, your head against his shoulder.

Jungkook popped in, wearing a leather jacket over his white hoodie and jeans. He waved a USB drive.

"Gotta drop this off. I'll be back," he said merrily to Taehyung before leaning down to kiss you on the cheek. You turned your head, meeting his lips, and snuck your tongue into his mouth.

Jungkook pulled back quickly, narrowing his eyes at you. "No. Bad girl."

You blinked innocently at him. "What'd I do?"

Jungkook glared at you, trying not to smile. "I have things to do. Let me kiss you normally."

Taehyung laughed deep from his chest, rumbling his shoulder you were leaning against. "Good luck with that."

Your smile widened. Smugly.

Too smugly.

Jungkook backed away, pointing a finger at you. He was smiling too now, playful and mirthful.

"Later, you horny little seductress."

He left, winking.

Taehyung patted your head again, his large hand massaging your scalp.

"You sure you don't want to fuck?" he teased.

continuation: christmas eve

masterpost

#jungkook x reader #taehyung x reader #bts smut #jungkook smut #taehyung smut #jungkook x you #taehyung x you #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook x you #kim taehyung x reader #kim taehyung x you

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babybluebex · 3 years

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desperate hearts (and bodies) [sebastian stan] NSFW!!

➽ pairing: sebastian stan x fem!reader (y/n) ➽ word count: 2.5k ➽ summary: while watching his new movie, sebastian makes a deal with you: you’ll watch the movie until the credits roll, or else. ➽ warnings: NSFW/MDNI. explicit language, smut, fingering (f!receiving), teasing, slight dom!seb ➽ a/n: i have no logical explanation for this, so just have it lol

It took a lot of convincing to have Sebastian watch one of his movies. He hated seeing himself work and, ever the perfectionist, found apparent flaws in his performance that neither the director nor editors had “managed” to find. He was against it at first, but, when I told him that I was too scared to watch his new movie The Covenant alone, he agreed. This man was such a pushover. We had known each other since high school when we paired together as scene partners for our school’s drama department. Seb was a senior when I was a freshman and we always got along, albeit at a casual distance. It wasn’t until we were in college together and I was randomly assigned him as a student mentor that we grew close, eventually kissing and fucking and revealing our long-boiling feelings.

We had been together for nearly two years by this point, and I had seen him through every single professional role. When we reunited, he had just had a small role on Law and Order, and he had only gone up from there. The Covenant was the first horror-type movie he had ever done, and I had gotten a basic-enough synopsis from him for me to avoid it. However, being the dutiful girlfriend that I was, I wanted to support him and watch it, and that’s where the begging came in.

Sebastian was a pushover. One hell of a pushover. I usually had to pout and he gave in to me, but watching his own movie came at a larger price, not that I minded it. As we sat down to watch the movie, my knees still ached from our earlier “negotiation”, and Sebastian grabbed my legs and hauled them into his lap. He clicked his tongue a few times, then said, “Baby girl, why didn’t you tell me?”

“It doesn’t hurt,” I shrugged, but winced when he pressed a finger into the red patches.

“Right,” he said with a smile. “And I’m the Queen of England.”

“Put on the movie, would ya?” I chuckled. “Shut your mouth.”

“You love my mouth,” Sebastian teased, tickling my thighs, and I sighed.

“I do, but it’s annoying sometimes,” I said, and I kissed my finger and pressed it to his bottom lip. “Movie. Please?”

The moment he came on screen, I felt a familiar heat in my stomach. He was a piece of shit high school guy in this movie, but he was so insanely hot. The female characters were falling all over him, but I would be lying if I said that I didn’t share the affection. “Aww, look at you,” I cooed, leaning over to tickle his chin. “Little teenage dirtbag Seba.”

“Is this why you wanted to watch this?” Sebastian laughed, smacking my hands away. “To make fun of me the whole time?”

“No,” I said. “I want to support you, damn it. I just have the privilege of making fun of you.”

Sebastian sighed, playing shaking his head, and he whispered, “You’re gonna kill me, woman.”

“I sure hope not,” I said, turning my attention back to the screen for a moment. “But it looks like Pogue might. What the hell kinda name is Pogue anyway?”

“I wish I knew,” Sebastian shrugged. “Oh, she was nice, though,” he added, pointing at the blonde girl on screen. “Really sweet. Said you were pretty.”

“You showed her a picture of me?” I asked.

“Well, not intentionally,” Sebastian said. “I was using a Polaroid of you as a bookmark and she handed me my book at one point in the makeup trailer and asked and… You know I love talking about you. I had to indulge her.”

“You keep getting better everyday,” I told him with a smile.

“You too, baby girl,” he said. “I’m getting a beer. You want one?”

“Nah,” I said. “But if it comes with a tall Romanian, I might have to rethink that.”

“Two beers, coming up,” Sebastian said, sitting up to go. Before he fully stood up, though, he tugged me close and kissed me slowly. His kisses were to die for, and I would never grow tired of them. His tongue dipped into my mouth and his hand began to inch my shirt up, but I grabbed his wrist quickly.

“Stop trying to distract me, Seb,” I whispered, biting his plush bottom lip. “We’re watching this movie.”

“Fuck,” Sebastian hissed, and I released his lip. “Thought I had you there.”

“You’ll have to try harder than that,” I told him as he stood up. I watched him as he walked to the kitchen, pulling his jeans back up his hips, and I couldn’t help but admire his ass. Even in high school, Sebastian had a nice body, and it had only gotten better with age and time. I turned my attention back to the movie, and Sebastian quickly returned with our drinks. I took a sip of mine before settling fully into his lap, and his arms went around my waist. “Okay, hold on, I’m confused,” I said quickly. “So those four guys are, like, witches? Wizards? Can guys be witches? Anyway, there’s four of them, but they sense a disturbance in the Force?”

Sebastian laughed deep in his chest. “I mean, pretty much,” he said. “You’ve got it.”

“Chase is the fifth power,” I said quickly. “I’m calling it right now.”

“Woah, hold on, what makes you think I’m the bad guy?” Sebastian asked with a quirk of his lips.

“I just know, man,” I said, taking another drink. “I know how these movies work, and you’re super hot-- more than the leads, actually-- and you’re a new guy. The bigger twist would be if he isn’t the fifth power.”

Sebastian hummed for a moment, then he sighed and mumbled, “Fuck me, you’re good at this.”

I gave a victory laugh and kissed his cheek, and he sucked his teeth in fake annoyance. “You’re way too smart for this, I’m never watching any movies with you again,” Sebastian grumbled.

“Aww, Seba, don’t be like that,” I pouted. “I still wanna watch this.”

“Fuck!” Sebastian huffed and threw his arms in defeat. “What do I have to do to turn this movie off?”

“You said that I’d have to suck your dick and we’d watch this movie,” I began. “And I did, and I did it good. So, we are watching the movie until the goddamn credits roll.”

“Mmhmm,” Sebastian grumbled, drinking his beer. “Alright then. Until the credits roll.”

Sebastian put his drink down a few minutes later, his hands slotting between my thighs. His hands were always freezing and it was a usual thing for him to warm his hands on some part of me; sometimes, it was under my arm or on my tits. Today, it seemed, was between my thighs. His thumb stroked my skin in slow and languid motions, and, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think it was innocent. He gave a sigh from his plump, pink lips, and he leaned his head on my shoulder, his eyes stuck to the TV screen. My fingers threaded through his hair absently as I watched Chase and the other witches go about their high school antics, and a familiar pressure grew between my thighs when the camera moved into a locker room. Sebastian was there, his shirt undone and his tie hanging loosely around his neck, and I gave a small gasp.

“Everything alright?” Sebastian whispered in my ear, giving it a delicate kiss. “You seem a little shaken up.”

“I’m good,” I replied. “Just… Your hands are fucking cold, man.”

“Yeah,” Sebastian chuckled. “It’s a curse, baby girl. But you seem… I don’t wanna say it because I don’t think you deserve the satisfaction, but… Are you turned on?”

I shrugged. It was embarrassing as hell that I was turned on by Sebastian in a movie, especially when I was sitting in his lap. “You know I love your abs,” I mumbled, picking at the label on my beer bottle.

“So that’s a yes?” Sebastian hummed. He leaned in and kissed my neck, his thumb moving just a bit higher up my thigh. “Just the sight of me gets you all hot, huh? I don’t even have to be doing anything.”

“Seb--” I began, but his lips attached to the spot on my neck that we both knew was my weakness. He gave it a few gentle nips with his front teeth, then soothed the sting with his tongue, and I clenched my teeth together to control my noises. His hand went higher and higher still until it reached the hem of my panties, and he slowly pushed his fingers into it. He was quiet and gentle as his hand moved, continuing to kiss my sweet spot as his palm pressed against my heat. The heel of his hand was right against my clit, just barely making enough contact, and I wriggled helplessly to get him where I wanted him.

“Watch the movie, baby girl,” Sebastian whispered, his voice low and rumbling. “You’ll miss something important.”

I groaned softly. “Sebastian,” I mumbled. “Please, love--”

“Please what?” Sebastian whispered. “What do you want, baby girl?”

“Touch me,” I panted softly. “Please.”

“You said we were going to watch this movie until the credits roll,” Sebastian said slowly. “I’ve already seen it-- fuck, I’m one of the leads--” My legs tightened at his words, trapping his hand against my wet heat, and he laughed. “So, you’re gonna watch this movie. The entire thing. And you’re not gonna worry about what I’m doing. Alright?”

I nodded, fixing my gaze on the screen once more. I didn’t expect him to push on as quickly as he did, but he ground his hand against my sensitive clit almost the moment I agreed. I gasped in surprise and I felt Sebastian smile against my neck as he continued to kiss my weakest spot, and he whispered, “Goddamn, baby. So wet for me.”

His fingers nudged me open and the tip of his middle finger began to press into me. He was moving just too slow and it was annoying the hell out of me, and I lifted my hips to have his finger in deep. “Oh, no,” Sebastian whispered, his voice a low rumble. “Don’t do that. Just relax, baby.”

“Seb--” I whined hopelessly. I knew that, no matter how much I begged, he was ultimately going to do what he wanted. He was an ass that way. “Please, babe.”

“Please what?” Sebastian said, dragging his teeth along my neck.

“More,” I whimpered. I was so fucking pathetic, but Sebastian just did something to me. No matter what, he could break me down to a crying, begging mess of a girl.

“More?” Sebastian repeated. “Like this?” He added his ring finger with excruciatingly slow speed, and his thumb came to rest on my clit at the same time. My thighs quivered at the feel of his cool rings on my wet and tender skin, and I whined high in my throat. “Oh, so good, baby girl. Taking my fingers like this, such a good little whore.”

For a moment, I dared to look away from the television in favor of my boyfriend, and I found his steel-blue eyes locked on my face. A single dark eyebrow quirked, and he said, “You just can’t follow rules, can you?” Then, seeing my flushed face and bitten lips, clicked his tongue and cooed. “Aw. Want me to fuck you stupid, baby? Doesn’t seem like that’ll take too long.”

“Seb,” I breathed. “Just…” I flexed my hips, hoping that he understood, and he gave me a devilish smile.

“This is the good part,” Sebastian whispered in my ear, and his fingers began a slow and steady pace. “Watch it, baby girl.”

My entire body was burning hot, and I squirmed in Sebastian’s arms. He was on screen, his eyes tinted fully black as he pinned one of the boys to the floor, and I felt a spasm of lightening in my stomach when his fingers finally found that spot inside of me. I jostled in his lap and bit back my moan, and he gave a little huff. “How bad do you want it?” He whispered. “Bad enough to beg for it?”

“Yes,” I sobbed. “Please, Seb, please, fuck me. I need you so bad, please, please, Seb.”

Sebastian groaned deep in his chest, and his mouth latched onto my neck. He sucked at the sensitive skin, surely leaving a mark, and he dragged his fingers in and out of my wet heat. “Look at that,” Sebastian whispered as Chase landed a kiss on his opponent’s cheek. “I am the bad guy. You were right. How are you so fucking smart, baby?”

“I know you,” I said, my cheeks burning with his praise. “You wouldn’t play a good guy.”

“Ah,” Sebastian sighed. “I knew you were smart. Now, be a good girl for me and come all over my fingers. I know how bad you want to. Maybe, if you keep being so good for me…” His lips brushed my ear before he gave me a soft kiss on my hot cheek. “I’ll let you come on my cock later.”

Sebastian’s thumb made fast circles around my throbbing clit as I tried to do as he told me and watch the movie, but I was completely distracted. I could feel his hard cock through his jeans, and the thought of having him fuck me while his movie played was enough for me to shout “Seb!” and make a mess on his fingers. My thighs trembled as Sebastian shushed me comfortingly, and he pushed my hair aside and cradled my face in his free hand. “Oh, good girl,” he whispered softly. “So, so good for me, baby. Are you feeling better now?”

I nodded and swallowed thickly, my throat dry and tight. Sebastian brushed his lips against mine warmly, and he finally pulled his fingers from my throbbing cunt. The room was dark, only the television giving any light, but I still saw his fingers glistening in the light. He handed me his beer with his free hand and, before I could say anything, popped his fingers in his mouth. I watched him for a moment before taking a drink; even though the beer was a little warm, it helped soothe my throat. “Thanks,” I said softly.

“Mm,” Sebastian hummed around his fingers, then pulled them out. “For what, baby? You know I like making you feel good.”

“I don’t know,” I said. “I just always like to thank you.”

“No need for that,” Sebastian said. “I know you appreciate it.” There was a pause, and then he groaned. “Fuck, c’mon! You guessed the twist in the first ten minutes!”

“It’s--!” I started. “It’s a PG-13 horror movie! These things are formulaic! You-- You aggravate me. Good thing you’re cute.”

“Or what?” Sebastian laughed. “You’d dump me?”

“Maybe not dump you,” I shrugged. “But I certainly wouldn’t let you fingerblast me while we watched a movie.”

Sebastian laughed, his eyes crinkling up, and he said, “God, you act like there wasn’t any romance.”

I scoffed. “Was there?”

“Oh, baby girl,” Sebastian chuckled. He pulled me back into his lap, my thighs straddling his waist, and he kissed me hard, his tongue dipping into my mouth. “I’ll show you fucking romantic I can be.”

#sebastian stan #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan x y/n #sebastian stan fluff #sebastian stan smut #sebastian stan fic

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allthingsfangirl101 · 3 years

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Camping Surprises–Zac Efron

Wattpad Request by ru_ruva

Work lately has been crazy. I've been working as an assistant for a top editor at a fashion magazine in Beverly Hills for three years. My boss has promised me that once I've worked for her for five years, I'll be promoted to an editing job. Plus, it kind of helps that I'm dating the famous actor, Zac Efron.

Zac and I had been dating for two years under the radar before our secret got out. He had wanted at least one part of his life to be for just him and me. My boss and his fans only found out about us after our anniversary dinner was interrupted by the paparazzi.

When my boss found out, she completely changed her attitude towards me. The next year, she started listening to me in meetings, agreeing with my suggestions, and treating me like a human being. She acted like this new found attitude towards me wasn't because I was on magazine covers with Zac, but she and I both knew she was lying.

Since Zac and I went public with our relationship, we haven't had much time to ourselves. It's been a year since our secret got out and things have only begun to pick up. We can't go out without getting recognized which means we can't even have a meal without being bombarded by fans, reporters, or paparazzi. Sometimes all three.

I walked into our apartment, my shoulders, back, and feet killing me. I tossed my keys into the bowl on the table by the door, dropped my bag onto the floor, kicked off my shoes, and hung up my jacket. I ran my fingers through my hair as I walking into the other room. I plopped onto the couch, the long day weighing me down.

I hadn't noticed I had fallen asleep on the couch until I felt someone tuck a piece of hair behind my ear. I let out a sleepy moan as my eyes fluttered open. I smiled when I saw Zac sitting on the ground in front of me, his face inches from mine.

"Morning," he whispered. I hummed as he continued to run his fingers through my hair. "What time did you get home?"

"A little after 7," I mumbled.

"Seven?" He repeated. "That's later than normal."

"Well," I sighed, "next month's issue is due to the printer by Thursday instead of Friday because of the holiday. Which means this is going to be a late week."

"I'm sorry," he said under his breath. "I hate how hard she works you."

I just shrugged and closed my eyes as I focused on the feeling of Zac playing with my hair.

"What about you?" I mumbled sleepily. "You're home later than usual."

"Yeah," he sighed.

The sound of exhaustion in his voice made me open my eyes. My heart sank when I saw the bags under his eyes. I sat up and pulled him so he was next to me. I smiled as he immediately laid his head on my thigh.

I started playing with his hair, feeling his breathing slow. I grabbed the remote and turned on a random show. We sat like that, not saying anything, and just enjoyed each other's company.

"Do you ever wish our lives were normal?" He asked, breaking the silence. I looked down to see his eyes still closed.

"Actually, no."

He turned his head up towards me and opened his eyes. "Really?" He asked. "You never wish we were different?"

"No," I smiled down at him as I moved some hair out of his face. "Because if we were normal, we wouldn't be who we are. We might not have met and I hate even the idea of that."

Zac reached up and cupped my cheek, pulling me down to him. I smiled as I pressed my lips to his and immediately started moving them in sync. He broke the kiss and sighed.

"I love you," he whispered. "And I'm sorry that things are crazy. I wish I could tell you they were going to slow down, but we both know that isn't going to happen."

* * * * *

A couple of days later, I came home to Zac already on the couch. He looked up from his computer when he saw me come in.

"You're home early," I teased as I hung up my keys. He put his laptop on the ottoman and stood up. He walked over to me, grabbed my hand, and led me back to the couch.

"Zac," I said under my breath. "What's going on, babe?"

He didn't say anything as he let go of my hand and grabbed his laptop. I nervously played with my fingers as he pulled something up.

"Babe?" I said, my breath getting caught in my throat. "You're scaring me."

Zac put his laptop on my lap and pointed to the screen. I hesitated before looking at it.

"Beverly Hills Glamp Ground?" I read. "You want to go camping?"

"We need a break," he said, looking down as he grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers.

"A break?" I stuttered.

"From this world, baby," he sighed, looking back up at me. "I come home every day, exhausted. And I know you do too. I feel like we haven't had any time to ourselves, any time to be alone. So, I want to do something. Something fun. Something just us two."

"And you're idea is camping?" I teased.

"We'd be completely alone out there," he explained. "No bosses, no cell service, no cameras. Just you and me."

"That does sound amazing," I sighed. He grabbed his computer and put it back on the coffee table before reaching over and grabbing my hands, turning me towards him.

"Then let's do it," he said eagerly. "It's a long weekend so neither of us work Monday. You sent in next month's issue today, so your boss won't need you over the weekend. She might not even need you tomorrow. My director is spending the weekend with his family and is even taking tomorrow off."

"I haven't used any of my sick days this year," I mumbled.

"Wait," he said slowly. "Are you saying. . ."

"I can call and get tomorrow off. Then with Monday being a holiday. . ."

I giggled when Zac excitedly leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine. I smiled as I grabbed his face and kissed him back. He broke the kiss and leaned his forehead against mine.

"Let's go pack."

* * * * *

As we pulled up to the camping ground, I noticed another car waiting for us in front of our assigned tent. I looked over at Zac as his brother got out of the other car.

"Dylan's here too?" I asked, trying not to sound disappointed.

"Yeah," Zac said as he got our suitcases out of the back. "He needed a break too and wanted to come."

He looked over at me, his eyes soft. He walked over and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"I'm sorry, baby," he sighed. "But he's in his own tent and promised to do his own thing."

"It's okay," I smiled as I rubbed his chest. I stood on my toes and pressed my lips to his.

"You two lovebirds ready?"

Zac broke the kiss and glared at his brother. I laughed as I grabbed his chin and turned him back to me. "Easy," I whispered.

"I'm sorry," he sighed. "He promised. . ."

"As long as his tent is far away from ours, I don't mind."

The three of us spent the next hour setting up our camping ground. I went to gather firewood as Zac and Dylan got dinner ready. When I got back they were whispering to each other. They jumped when they heard me.

"You guys okay?" I chuckled.

"Yep," Zac said, jumping up and walking over to me. He grabbed the wood from me and pressed a kiss to my cheek.

Dylan and I were cooking dinner when I noticed it was just us two. I looked around, trying to find Zac.

"Where's Zac?"

"He went for a walk," Dylan said, sounding kind of weird.

"It's getting kind of late," I said, not hiding my nerves. "Should we go look for him?"

Dylan checked his watch and bit his bottom lip; something he only did when he was overthinking.

"Let's give him a few more minutes," he decided. "Then we'll go look for him."

I stared at him as he turned back to the fire, trying to hide the look on his face. A few minutes later, I couldn't take it anymore. I stood up, wiping my hands on my jeans.

"That's it," I sighed. "I'm going to go look for him. It's getting dark and I don't think he has his flashlight."

"Wait," he said quickly as he grabbed my hand and stopped me. He cleared his throat, instantly letting go of me.

"Zac's a big boy, Y/N. He knows not to go too far from the campsite and to come back before it gets dark."

"But. . ." I stuttered.

"Y/N," he whispered, "Zac and I went camping all the time as kids. He's fine."

I tried to finish getting dinner ready, but I found myself constantly looking towards the path. A few minutes later, I started nervously chewing on my thumbnail.

"Actually," Dylan said, clearing his throat as he checked his watch. "Let's go look for him."

I let out a sigh of relief as Dylan handed me my jacket and grabbed the flashlights. We had only gone maybe half a mile before we could see some lights through the trees. I started to go around the campsite, but Dylan stopped me.

"What are you. . ." I stuttered as he looked over his shoulder at me with a smirk on his face.

I sighed before following him. My breath got stuck in my throat when we got to the clearing. Zac was standing there, in the middle of the meadow, surrounded by lights and flowers. My eyes filled with tears when I noticed the pictures of us scattered around.

I turned to look at Dylan, but he had slipped back through the trees. When I turned back towards Zac, he was right in front of me. He grabbed my hand and led me to the middle of the meadow.

"How did you. . . When did you. . . Why did you. . ."

Zac laughed as I stuttered. "I needed to bring all of this, but I didn't want you to see it. So Dylan brought it in his car and agreed to distract you while I set it up."

"I just. . . Why?" I finally got out, tears beginning to fall. Zac smiled as he reached forward and caught a tear with his thumb.

"This is why," he whispered.

I covered my mouth as he knelt down on one knee. He had tears in his eyes as he pulled a small black box out of his pocket.

"Y/N," he started, his voice gentle. "I love you so much, darling. And I can't imagine spending my life with anyone other than you. I know our jobs keep us busy and they can kind of be frustrating at times, but it's all worth it as long as I get to come home to you. I love waking up to you typing on your computer and coming home to you asleep on the couch. I love that you are always willing to run lines with me, go to premieres and parties with me, drive me to the airport at 2 in the morning. I love that you are on my team. I love you."

Zac took a shaky breath as he opened the box. My eyes widened, tears streaming down my face as I saw the ring he got for me.

"Will you marry me?"

It took me a second to find my voice, but once I did, I giggled out my answer.

"Yes," I said through my tears. "Of course I'll marry you."

Zac smiled as he slipped the ring on my finger and stood up. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he instantly wrapped his arms around my waist, holding me close to his chest. I felt him laugh as he tightened his arms around me.

"I love you," I whispered, not breaking our embrace. "And I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else either."

Zac laughed as he pulled me back into his chest and pressed his lips to mine. We quickly got caught lost in the kiss as we held each other. We broke apart when we heard someone clapping and laughing. We turned around to see Dylan jogging towards us.

I laughed as he pulled me away from Zac, lifted me up, and spun me.

"Dylan," Zac sighed. "Will you please put my fiancé down?"

"Sorry," Dylan chuckled as he put me down. He walked over to his brother and gave him a hug.

"Congratulations," Dylan whispered. He pulled out of the hug and looked over at me. "You got quite the girl."

"Thanks," Zac laughed. "I got lucky."

I walked over and Zac instantly wrapped his arms around me. He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine.

"I'll umm. . . I'll let you two. . . Celebrate," Dylan laughed awkwardly. He was about to walk away but stopped. "I'll send you the pictures I took but you probably won't be able to post them until. . ."

Dylan stopped talking when we broke the kiss and Zac glared at him. "Right. Sorry. Congratulations, you two."

We laughed as he turned on his heel and jogged back to the campsite. I looked back at Zac, biting my bottom lip.

"How long have you planned this?" I asked under my breath.

"Well," he sighed, tightening his arms around my waist. "I've been wanting to propose for the last year but things got so crazy. I realized that this weekend would be the first and only quiet weekend we had together for the next little while. And I couldn't wait any longer. I had to be engaged to you."

I stood on my toes and pressed my lips to his. I felt him smirk as he kissed me back. I broke the kiss and leaned my forehead against his.

"Is Dylan staying the rest of the weekend?" I asked under my breath.

"No," Zac said simply. "He's heading back tonight. Why?"

He saw the knowing look on my face and laughed. I smirked as he tightened his arms around my waist. I sighed before standing on my toes. I didn't press my lips to his yet, teasing him instead.

"Let's head back to camp and celebrate."

#zac efron #zac efron imagines #zac efron x reader

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astrovian · 3 years

Audio

Richard Armitage interviews Harlan Coben for the Win audiobook (released 18/03/21)

Full transcript under cut

RA: Hi, I’m Richard Armitage. I played Adam Price in the Netflix series The Stranger, which was adapted from Harlan Coben’s novel of the same name. With me is the man himself, Harlan Coben, number one New York Times bestseller, the author of over thirty novels, including the one you’ve just listened to. I’m delighted to be talking to Harlan about his book, Win.

Okay Harlan, thanks for taking the time to chat about your audiobook and thanks for sending me a copy of the book. Um, it was so nice I ended up wrapping it up and giving it to my brother for Christmas.

HC: *laugh* You’re supposed to read it first, but okay, thanks Richard.

RA: No, I got the electronic version so uh, so I’ve had a good read. Congratulations, a great story. Brilliant, brilliant central character. I mean the first question I’m gonna ask is – because people listening to this have just been listening to the audiobook – are you, um, a big audiobook listener yourself?

HC: I – I go through stages, um, because my mind wanders, I sometimes have trouble focusing. But when I’m in a car, um, that’s most of the time that I’m- that I really love to use the audiobooks because it does make the ride just fly by. However, I’ve set up my life that I don’t have to commute to work every day, so I don’t have it steadily – it’s usually when I’m doing a nice long ride, I get a really good audiobook and time just flies by.

RA: And have you- have you got any favourite audiobooks that you’ve listened to recently, or any podcasts or what is it that floats your boat?

HC: You know, it’s funny. I still remember when I was a working man, way back when, when audiobooks were really first starting out and we had them on cassette tapes, I listened to the entire Bonfire of the Vanities by Tom Wolfe, um, it was about thirty hours long, going back and forth to work for almost a month. And I still have memories of that experience, and it’s probably, well god, it’s probably 1990 I did that, 1989, something like that.

RA: Mm-hmm. Yeah, I mean I’ve got a- I’ve got a few journeys up and back from Manchester this year, we’re about to start working on Stay Close, so I’ll happily – I’m happy to take any recommendations of any good books, so maybe I’ll listen to Bonfire of the Vanitites.

HC: Well I tell ya, a lot of people – first of all, it’s a brilliant book, it’s maybe a bit dated, but I doubt that, um. I think Richard, I get more people telling me to listen to any book that you read.

RA: *laugh*

HC: I said, “Hey, I spend a lot of time with this guy, I’m about to do my second television show that stars Richard Armitage. No one I think has starred in two shows that I’ve done ever, so I get a lot of him anyway.” *laugh*

RA: You don’t need my voice in your head when you’re driving, that’s – that’s torture.

HC: That’s right, I’ll be hearing notes on, on scripts in my head if I hear you going. For those who don’t know who are listening, y’know, Richard starred in The Stranger, um, and now is going to be starring in Stay Close, uh, based off two of my novels which I’m sure you can get on audiobook.

RA: And on that note, what um, you’ve had so many adaptations now that have moved from page to screen – what is it like when you go through that process? When you’re – ‘cause you’re very hands on in the way that you kind of collaborate with not just the actors, but with the producers and y’know, the writers. I mean, you’re – you’re writing it yourself. Um, what is it like through, through that whole process, from starting to developing to seeing it kind of realised on screen?

HC: I think the key for me is not to be slavishly devoted to the novel. I think that’s a mistake that a lot of people who are trying to make an adaptation make. So, I go into it, ‘what is the best TV series we can make?’, if it’s true to the book, great. If it’s not true to the book, also great. Um, so I move my stories to various countries, we’ve changed characters around, we’ve changed motivations. Because they’re two very different mediums – a book is a book, and a TV series is a TV series. They should not be the same. One is a visual medium, one is not. Even, even um, audiobooks are slightly different um, than what you read. And they should be. Um, y’know, there’s a performance involved.

Also, because I’ve spent most of my life alone in a room coming up with writing a book, um, where I am just everything – I’m writer, director, actor, key grip. I don’t even know what a key grip is, but I’m that. Um, it’s really nice to collaborate. So um, you’ve worked with me, I hope you agree – I like to collaborate, I like to hear the opinions of other people and um, I really enjoy that aspect of it. I look at it like I’m – like I get to be captain of a World Cup football team, rather than being a tennis player where I’m standing there on my own, which is what happens with a novel.

RA: Yeah, and actually it’s the same when I get to narrate an audiobook, like you say – you get to be director, you get to be the cinematographer to an extent ‘cause you’re setting the scene, but one thing that I’ve – I really appreciated about working with you was having read your, your books and sometimes you’ll pass by a character that is useful to the, to the narrative that you’re telling, but when that comes to developed for TV or film you’ll take a bit more time to investigate that character, and you’re very open to treading those paths, which makes for a very kind of dense narrative with the screenwriter.

HC: Well that’s what I think we’re trying to do. If you think about The Stranger, um, y’know in the book the Stranger is a sort of nerdy teenage male.

RA: Mm-hmm.

HC: And that just – we even tried out some people, and that just didn’t work. And it was really my idea – and I don’t say it in a bragging way, I say it as a way to show how open we all are – to change the character from being male to being female. And once I saw Hannah John-Kamen do it, then I pictured her in a room with you in that first great scene in the bar, um, or at the club when she tells you the big secret, it just worked. Um, you have to be willing to, to sort of stretch your imagination all over again and re-think your story. Which is also fun.

RA: Yeah, and also I suppose because y’know, as much as we love a faithful adaptation of a novel, um what you don’t wanna do is just deliver the novel in screenplay. You want to, for everyone that has read it it’s a new and exciting surprise, and for everyone that hasn’t it’s, y’know, it’s gonna be the same. So, um, it’s nice to kind of have a, to have your audience ready for people who have read a lot of your work, and there were, y’know, a guaranteed audience of people that had, had looked at The Stranger but what you gave them was something really surprising.

HC: Yeah, it was a lot of fun. A lot of fun. And Stay Close, there’s a change in the ending to that which will hopefully shock everybody but especially the people who have already read the book, who will smugly think they know exactly what’s going on.

RA: *laugh* And me, probably. I haven’t read it yet. Um, so when you’re writing – I’m gonna double up on this question now, so when you’re writing, do you write in silence? Do you have any music playing in the background or are you – do you have like a, a kind of sacred writing space?

HC: Um, my routine is not to have a routine. Uh I, I do whatever works until it stops working and then I change up. It’s like I’m riding a horse really fast, and then the horse dies so I gotta find a new horse. So most writers will tell you ‘yes, I use this space, I do it at this time’. Um in the days before Covid, I would go to different coffee shops all the time, I would try out different… any place. Y’know, my favourite example is the end of – when I was writing The Stranger, um with about three weeks left to finish it, I had to take an Uber for the first time. This was a number of years ago. I had to take an Uber in New York City, and I felt really guilty about spending the money on an Uber and trying to justify it, so I was sitting in the back of the Uber and I was writing down notes, and I start writing really well. So for three weeks, I took Ubers wherever I went just so I could finish the book *laugh*

RA: ‘Cause that was the magic formula.

HC: Yeah, that worked! Then that stops working and then I have to find the new, a new place. So my routine is not to have a routine. If you’re trying to write out there, the key to anything is ‘does it make me write more?’ – if the answer is yes, it’s good. If the answer is no, it’s bad. It really is that simple.

RA: I’m gonna make a note of that for when I start writing myself. Um, do you – do you speak any of your characters out loud, your dialogue or your prose passages, do you say it out loud?

HC: The very last stage um, of editing. Okay first of all, no writer gets it right the first time. I know a million writers, I don’t know any writer who doesn’t re-write and re-write a lot. Well, I know one but he’s the guy none of us wanna hang out with, you know what I mean?

RA: *laugh*

HC: So um, the last stage that I do, and it’s usually after I’ve done all the editing with my editor and everything like that, we’re ready to go. I will sit in a room and I read the entire novel out loud to myself. Um, because what happens is, it’s a little bit like a musical score. Where you can – if you read it out loud, I can detect false notes that I may have missed along the way. Um, I can hear them. So the last step is that. I rarely y’know, I’m not – I’m not crazy, I’m not sitting there maybe talking out loud to myself, I’m maybe testing out lines by doing that, and I do that a lot when I’m helping with the screenplays on our shows. But um, for the most part that’s how I do it.

RA: So, in that case, would you ever narrate one of your own audiobooks?

HC: I did narrate one, uh, many years ago called Promise Me. What had happened is we had - my Myron Bolitar series we did seven with the same reader and he retired. I hadn’t written um, I didn’t write Myron for about five or six years it was. And so they said, ‘hey, why don’t you do it?’ which was a huge mistake in many ways. One, I’m not a professional. But two, the people who were fans of Myron Bolitar liked the first guy, and it felt to them liked they had tuned into their favourite TV show and every actor had changed.

RA: *laugh*

HC: It’s really difficult to re-do or start a series, uh, when people know the- the old reader. So um, I also figure- it was also, Richard you know this of course, so for people who don’t know, it’s a lot of work. I’m a guy from New Jersey. I speak very quickly, which does not go over well in audio. I don’t do voices. I would have to sit with a pillow on my stomach because uh, my stomach would sometimes grumble and that would be picked up- *laugh*

RA: Oh, yeah!

HC: By the microphone. And it took me um, a week to record it because – and I don’t know if this is still the case – but back then, the abridged version wasn’t just a cut up version of the unabridged, I had to do a whole different reading for it. So um, it was – it was a lot of work. Um, and it’s a skill that I’m not sure I’m best to do.

RA: Yeah, it does take a lot of stamina. I mean what’s interesting is, having gotten to know you, and when I, when I now read your work, I can hear your delivery, I can hear your voice. And there’s humour in the dialogue, and there’s humour in the as well, and I – it’s an instant ‘in’ for me, so I – ‘cause, ‘cause often I read and I speak aloud when I’m reading alone in the dark, I say things out loud but I think people approach it differently. But I definitely hear your voice in, in these characters. And I think particularly in Windsor Horne Lockwood.

HC: That’s so interesting because Win, I think of my heroes that I’ve had, Win is probably the least like me. I mean um, when you think about Adam-

RA: *laughing* You have to say that! You have to say that because he’s such a badly behaved person, isn’t he?

HC: *laughing* Yeah! ‘Cause I usually like to think of myself as more of like Adam in The Stranger, who you played, or some of the other characters that – the ‘I’m a father or four’ or those kind of guys. What I love about getting into Win of course is that Win is something of an anti-hero. Um, he sort of says and does things that are not necessarily prudent or appropriate, and he can get away with that. Um, so I really loved – I loved getting in his head, it was really an interesting experience. But on the surface anyway, he’s probably the least like me of any uh, main character that I’ve ever written.

RA: Yeah, I mean I- I relate to that totally. It’s a little bit like- it’s probably a side of you, you daren’t investigate, but- but when you get the chance to do it in a fiction um, you can tap into those things that we’re not allowed to do or say in your, in your regular day. But um, where did that character spring from? What was the seed that germinated into his story do you think?

HC: Rarely is this the case, but um, Win is actually – y’know, he’s the sidekick in my Myron Bolitar series but um, when I first created him I based him off my best friend in college roommate, who has a name equally obnoxious as Windsor Horne Lockwood the Third-

RA: *laugh*

HC: Very good looking, blonde guy who used to say before he would go out to parties when we were in college, he would look in the mirror and say, “It must suck to be ugly”. And so I took him and I tweaked him and made him more dangerous, uh and that’s how I, I kind of came up with Win.

RA: And does this person know that you’ve based this character on him?

HC: Oh yes! In fact, some people know who he is, he uses it. He’s still a-

RA: Oh, really?

HC: Owner of all these fancy golf clubs, he’s president of one of the most famous golf clubs, um, in the world right now. He looks the part. In fact, he one time came to one of my books signings years ago and um, he’s sitting in the back, and I tell people the story of how I created Win, and I say, “I’m not gonna tell you who, but Win is actually in this room right now”. It took the crowd about four seconds to figure out who he was, and he had a longer line to sign books that I did *laugh*

RA: Amazing. I mean I have to say, it’s- you, you start reading the story and thinking, ‘I don’t know if I’m gonna like this guy’ but he really grows on you, warts and all. I wonder how many people are gonna go into Saks on Fifth Avenue and go looking for the vault.

HC: *laugh* Yeah, no, I made that up. But there is place in Saks-

RA: I know, so brilliant!

HC: -but the rest of it is completely made up, this involves an app that you’ll read about when you- hopefully when you, when you read book. But yeah, it was fun to do an anti-hero where he makes decisions and does things that you don’t like, and yet you still wanna hang around with him. I always think the key to a fascinating character is not um, that he’s likeable necessarily, but that you wanna spend time with him. Not that he’s a nice guy, but if you were at a bar and you could sit with somebody and have a conversation with them and learn about their life, would this be a person you’d wanna do that with? And that’s sort of the test whenever I do a character. And Win, I think, passes that with flying colours. There are people who love Win and wanna be just like him and there are people who loathe him! But everybody, or I hope many people, are fascinated by him and his life.

RA: Well, also you’ve given him such an incredible kind of tool kit, like a skill set. I mean, I think everybody would look at that character and wish they could do the things he does, maybe not in the way that he does them, but I mean he’s- he’s exactly the kind of character that you’d hone in on, certainly from an acting point of view. I look at that and if I was, y’know, like fifteen years younger, I’d be leaping on that character to play. Which is, it means – it means he’s sort of relatable or aspirational in a kind of anti-hero way.

HC: I’ve heard this a lot, and I think it’s one of the most flattering things that I hear from my actor friends – I think everybody would want to play Win. I mean, I think the- it’s an interesting challenge, um, for a lot of actors. More so than even Myron Bolitar who is my lead series character. Um, everybody kind of wants to play win and kind of wonders who would play Win. Uh, and I take that as a – as a compliment.

RA: Are we gonna see more of him? Is he ge- are you writing more stories for him?

HC: My guess is the answer’s yes. I plan each book as it comes, so I never know until I’ve started. Is it gonna be a stand alone? Is it going to be a Myron Bolitar? Is it gonna be a young adult? Mickey Bolitar is now going to be a Win, and I don’t know until I – each book, y’know when I finish a book, I’m like a boxer who’s just gone fifteen rounds and can’t even lift my, my arms anymore, I gave it everything I had, I can’t even imagine fighting again or writing another novel. So I don’t know is the answer. Probably? I do wanna see Win again, separately or at least back with Myron, so I do think we will see Win again. But the book I’m writing right now is a sequel to The Boy From the Woods, which is the book that came out in 2020, so that’s what I’m writing now. Will I return to Win? Maybe. Maybe. We’ll see how- we’ll also see how people react. Not that I would work necessarily off of commercial interest, but it people really love this book, y’know, we don’t live in vacuum, that would probably somewhat influence what I do.

RA: Right. I mean, because so many of your- your books are being developed and being snapped up to be turned into film or television – I mean, Myron Bolitar is, is a recurring series waiting to happen, and then you’ve got your spin off of Win – I, I- I wonder if, y’know when your first ever, uh novel, did you write with kind of cinema television in your head? Is that something that as modern storytellers we can even avoid? Um, did you ever dream that these would ever turn into sort of film and TV?

HC: Well, everybody dreams, but there’s sort of two answers to it. The first answer is when I’m writing a book, I never ever, ever, not for one second do I think ‘Ooh, this would make a really good movie’ or ‘Ooh, this would make a really good TV series’ because that’s the kiss of death for a book. It really is. It’s, it’s- it’s just a disastrous thought, and if you’re out there writing really don’t try it, because it’s, it’s a big mistake. At the same time, to be realistic and honest, I grew up watching TV. Who didn’t? That’s my – I mean this is what we grew up with. To pretend you’re only influences – y’know you ask a writer ‘What’s your influences?’ “Oh, Shakespeare and Proust and Yeats” – come on. You watched TV growing up. And so that’s an influence on how you tell a story. To deny that is silly. So writers today do think in terms of cinema more just because they grew up with it. Where writers of a different generation did not, so they wouldn’t have that influence.

RA: Yeah, I mean I- I think this all the time – it’s impossible to even de-program your brain not to imagine scenarios in terms of cinema. I mean I- I often think about sort of Victorian novelists that didn’t have y’know TV, and their trying to describe something that they’ve never seen or experienced. And we have references for so many things – I mean it’s almost impossible not to, we’re- we are and will always be influenced by one or the other, especially in the written word. But I- I find that it means that you can kind of uh, put aside the investigation and just get on with the storytelling. And maybe go even a little bit further. It’s like instant access. Y’know, I know exactly the world that you’re talking about when you’re y’know at the beginning of Win, but- but y’know at the same time I felt there was something very Agatha Christie like about the um, the backstory of uh, of this book, I really liked the fact that there was a historic event that was really informing what was happening right now.

HC: Well, y’know when I start a book, there’s- I’m always- I have a bunch of ideas and I’m trying to think which ones are going to go in the story, and it ends up being several. So for example, in this book, I wanted – I’ve always wanted to do an art heist. Y’know, like the Gardner Museum Heist, where they still haven’t found the paintings that were stolen, the Vermeers and the Picassos that were stolen in that particular – I can’t remember if it’s Picasso now, I know it was a Vermeer – um, stolen in that- that, heist in Boston years ago, I wanted to write a book about 60’s radicals – the Weather Underground and what would happen to people who were involved in that so many years later. I also wanted to write something about a kind of Patty Hearst-type character who was a famous kidnapping here in the 70s. So those were like three of the things that I wanted to like – to delve into. And I ended up delving into all three *laugh* which sometimes happens.

Oh, and the last one I wanted to do – I always wanted to do um, a hoarder that was actually someone famous. There was actually um, something of a case of this in New York City where somebody died who was living in a top floor of an Upper West Side building, and it ended up being the missing son – not really missing, but had just kind of gone off the rails – of a very famous American war hero. And so, I took all of these aspects, which would seem to make three or four different novels, and I make it into one novel if I can. It’s not that different from – again, I’m referencing um, um – The Stranger y’know, because you’re here and provably a number of the people listening to us have seen The Stranger on Netflix, but it’s the same thing with The Stranger a little bit, where I had a lot of ideas for secrets that could be revealed by the Stranger, and each one could have been a separate novel. And instead, the challenge is put them all in one story and find a way to hook them together.

RA: Yeah. I mean, it’s rich in a way that when I- I’m reading it and the producer head in me is saying ‘gosh, this is gonna be a great TV show’ ‘cause you know, you’ve got the present day, you’ve got the near-past and the um, the heist story, which uh, is kind of crying out for – you just want more of it, which is brilliant in a book. When you’re – you’re leaving the reader wanting to know more and wanting to, to know more about that family and what happens to them. It’s – it’s the perfect recipe, really.

HC: And so much of it does come from your life in ways that you don’t expect – right now, maybe a lot of people are watching this uh, the Aaron Sorkin movie about the Chicago Trials from the 70s, Abbie Hoffman, who is played by uh, I think Sacha Baron Cohen played him in, in the movie. When I was in college at Amherst, Abbie Hoffman was on the run, um, but he still showed up one day at our college and gave a speech, then disappeared again. And boy, that stuck in my head always. Man, I’d love to write a character that’s kind of like Abbie Hoffman. ‘Cause he had that charisma even then, y’know on stage he was funny as heck, I must have been eighteen or nineteen um, when I – when I heard him speak. And so that – I never consciously back then, I didn’t think that, but every once in a while those experiences come to head and you wanna write about it.

RA: Mm-hmm. You’ve been writing for quite a few years now-

HC: *Laugh*

RA: -you’re – I don’t know if you can even remember what it was like when you first stated your very first book. Um, and some people have said that books are like children in a way, you sort of rear them and then the more you do, the more familiar you are with that process. But would you – I mean, it’s difficult for you to answer this, but would you say you have a favourite book that you’ve written?

HC: I don’t have a favourite book that I’ve written. Um, this – this sounds self-serving, but it’s usually the book, the most recent book, that I like the best. Um, it’s a little bit like – and the way I try to explain this is – maybe you wrote a paper, an essay when you were in college which you thought was brilliant. You remember that moment in school and you wrote a paper and you thought it was brilliant and you find it now and you re-read it and you go, ‘wow, this wasn’t good after all’. It’s not that it’s not very good, it’s just that you have sort of moved on and you’re not that sort of person and so you see all the flaws. So in the older books, which I don’t re-read, I see all of the flaws. I always think, y’know even if you think of yourself, what you thought ten or fifteen years ago – you sort of go ‘ugh, what did I know back then, I’m so much smarter now’. So the same thing a little bit with books, where I think I’m learning more and the current book is better. One of the interesting experiences of working on these adaptation is having to go back and read a book – in some cases we’re doing one, the next one I think uh comes out in France for example, is Gone for Good, which I think was released in 2002! Or 2003. So I wrote it twenty years ago. And to have to go back and read it now, I’m always kind of cringing at some of the stuff-

RA: Mm-hmm.

HC: -some of the stuff I’m kind of thrilled with, like ‘wow, that’s an interesting twist. You don’t have that kind of ending anymore’ and some of it I’m like, ‘wow, why’d you go there?’ so it’s an interesting experience.

RA: Yeah, I feel the same. I very – I, uh, very early on in my career I would watch my work back in quite a lot of detail, thinking ‘I’m gonna learn something’ and then as I got older it was – it was almost unbearable to just do that. And I actually haven’t been able to do that, but it’s because when you’re – when you’re first starting out you throw everything you’ve got into that first breakout role that you do, and then your realise that you’re always in danger of repeating yourself and you think – ‘gosh, people are gonna suss me out that I’m only capable of doing one or two things’, but you live in hope that you can, y’know, find that one thing that you can completely reinvent. Y’know I still hope for that.

HC: I still think that everyone who I’ve ever met who is successful at what they do has imposter syndrome. If you don’t um, you’re prob- you have a false bravado and you’re in trouble. I always say, “only bad writers think they’re good”. The rest of us really suffer with that, and really questioning and always think we’re gonna be sussed out. And I can tell you, um, Stephen King sent me a book not that long ago because he’d nicely put my name in it and wanted my reaction. But even Steve, after all his success and whatever else, he still worries about the reaction, that he’s as good as he used to be, that people will still like it, he’s – I know him. He still worries about it. And when you stop, that’s when you’re in trouble I think as an artist, when you’re starting to doubt what it- when you don’t have the doubts, you start having an overconfidence that you sort of got this. It’s a little bit like my golf game, frankly.

RA: *laugh*

HC: There’s moment’s when I’m about to swing, y’know, I’m gonna be okay and then you get out there and you stink all over again. So-

RA: Yep

HC: -you’re constantly trying to get better and so I imagine it must be difficult to look at your old roles and you – you’re kinda cringing, right? You see all the mistakes you’re making. You see through you so to speak, right?

RA: Yep. Absolutely.

HC: And then someone will come up to you, right, and they’ll say, “Oh, my favourite thing you ever did was-“ and then they’ll list something you did twenty years ago, and you want them to pay attention to what you’re doing now *laugh*

RA: Yep. Yep. Seeing through you is, is one of the things that is quite haunting because I do, I see through me. I can’t shake myself off, if you know what I mean.

HC: Well, you are very cool, you don’t watch any of it until it’s all over. Uh, that’s correct right? You never watched any of our rushes or I remember trying to tell you that you’re doing great and all that-

RA: No, I watched, I watched the first shot-

HC: -and you had not seen any of it and I watch you every day when you’re on set working on our shows and I’ll comment if I see something or whatever, to either you directly or the director, uh, and most of the time I’m – I’m complimenting you, but you don’t – you don’t know either, because you’re not watching, you’re not getting lost in that.

RA: Yeah, I don’t like to watch or be somebody that studies myself to much, I don’t think that’s my job. I think my job is to be inside the character looking out, rather than the other way around. I leave that to the experts like you and the director.

HC: Also, I think it’s- I think if you start worrying about what – you’re right – and also you don’t have the distance. This is always an issue when I – I first start watching the cuts of the first episodes, and I read the book while I’m editing it, while I try to take time between my writing it and then seeing it, I have to sort of put myself in the position of being somebody who knows nothing about this, and doesn’t come in knowing the story already that I’ve already read or seen a thousand time. How do I keep it fresh in my head when I’m trying to be objective and watching it so we can make edits. Uh, both on the screen or on the page.

RA: Mm-hmm. What draws you to crime/thriller? What – I mean is that – I, I can’t often imagine you writing a romantic novel, but what is it that draws you to this particular genre?

HC: Well, y’know to me it’s uh, not really a genre. It’s more like – it’s a form. It’s more like saying it’s a haiku or a sonata.

RA: Mm-hmm.

HC: And within that form I can, and hopefully have, done everything. Um, I think The Stranger for example is more a story about family, uh, and the secrets we try to hide, rather than it is about who killed who – y’know, the mystery angle of it.

RA: Yeah.

HC: One of my most, uh well-known books, my first bestseller, was a book called Tell No One which was made into a French film starring François Cluze, and that’s really a love story, it’s about a man who’s madly in love with his wife and eight years earlier, she was murdered. And then eight years passed, he gets an email, he clicks the hyperlink, he sees a webcam and his dead wife walks by, still alive., And the pursuit, the wanting to get back, the hope for full redemption is really what drives the story more than ‘who killed who’.

RA: Mmm-hmm.

HC: So different stories do different things. But the great thing about the form of crime fiction is that it compels me to tell a story. I’m not getting lost in the beauty of my own genius, my own kind of navel-gazing. I have to continue to tell a story and entertain you. So any of the themes that I wanna tell, any of the things I wanna discuss, has to be slave to that story. And I think that’s probably a rich tradition. If you think about Dumas really, wasn’t that all crime fiction? Even Shakespeare is mostly crime fiction.

RA: Yeah.

HC: Most great stories, if I ask you to name a favourite novel that’s over a hundred years old, Dostoevsky, whoever, you will find that there’s almost always a crime in it. There’s almost always a crime story.

RA: I mean it’s one of the things that I get very excited about, um, I mean obviously I haven’t read your entire canon but I – there’s a signature, or a theme that you love to play on which is this idea that – that um, the people you know aren’t telling you everything about themselves, or that there’s something to hide and that in our modern world, with technology, we have this sort of ability to – to sort of lead multiple lives of truths or lies. And it’s something which I think we immediately recognise. ‘Cause I think we – we’re living that, that reality, and it’s a theme that I really enjoy about your writing.

HC: Well, first of all, thanks. Second, um, there’s a lot of things we’ve heard about the human condition. One of my favourites about the human condition that I used to write, is that we all believe that we are uniquely complex and no one knows the inside of us. And yet we think we read everybody else pretty well. We all think we are uniquely complex and the person across from us, we can kind of figure out. They’re not quite like us. Um, and that’s something I love to play with when I write. Because you’ve gotta remember that everybody is uniquely complex and on a humanity level, and on an empathy level, I raise my kids and I’m always teaching them that every person you see, the richest, the poorest, the happiest, the saddest – everybody has hopes and dreams. Just think that, when you see a stranger on the street, when you’re going to interact with somebody, when you’re getting angry at somebody, whatever it is – just remember, they have hope and dreams. Um, small little thought, but it helps me create a character as well.

RA: There’s also a- a kind of very strong level of self-deception involved, which I think can be quite surprising. Because you always read a character and go, ‘I’m not like that’ or ‘I would never do that’ and then if you really think about it, we – there’s a truth we tell ourselves about ourselves which isn’t always honest.

HC: Well, exactly. It’s really come to fruition in the world the last few years, where I kind of joked that I’ve been working too hard on making my villains sympathetic, the villains in today’s world don’t seem to be very – very complex at all.

RA: *laugh*

HC: But for the most part, people don’t think they’re bad guys. Even the bad guys don’t think they’re bad guys.

RA: Yeah.

HC: They have some way of, of justifying. It’s one of the great things about human beings, or one of the most prevailing thing about a human being, is we all have the ability to self-rationalise, to self-justify. Um, and so I’ve always tried with my villains, and I hope that I did it in everything that we’ve done together, to try to make even the villain – you may not like the villain, but you get them. I don’t really write books – I don’t write books where the serial killer is hacking up people for no reason, that doesn’t really interest me. I prefer the crimes where you can say, ‘Yeah, I wouldn’t have done it maybe, but I can see why that happened. I can see if I was put in that position, um, where I may have done something similar’. That to me is a much more interesting villain than somebody who’s just cruel and evil.

RA: Yeah. Um, final question actually, is – I mean, as a listener/reader yourself – are there any other authors whose books you love and just go back – I mean, you’ve mentioned Stephen King, um I’m with you on that one – but are there any other authors who really kind of inspire you and, and y’know, like a little guilty pleasure reading for yourself and not for work?

HC: Yeah, well the problem always is that I start listing authors, and then someone will say, ‘well, what about so-and-so who’s a friend of mine’, and then I say ‘oh shoot, I forgot – I forgot that one’.

RA: *laugh*

HC: Y’know I saw recently that it’s the eleventh anniversary of the death of Robert B. Parker, who wrote the Spencer novels, if by any chance you haven’t found the Spencer novels, and I don’t know how popular they are overseas – they’re fantastic, wonderful detective series. Um, so that’s one guy I would go back in time and try to find for audio. But I actually like Philip Roth a lot on audio, even though he doesn’t do crime fiction. I’m a big Michael Connelly fan and I like Lee Child, um and Laura Lippman. Y’know, I could sit here just naming um, people all day. I’m always curious also – who is reading – who does it because of the reader and who does it because of the writer. I know there’s a number of people who will listen to anything you read, Richard, because it’s you. Um, which is really quite nice, but it’s interesting the combination of the audio reader. I have Steven Weber, he’s been reading most of my novels, though I’ve had a female lead – a woman named January LaVoy who’s fantastic – and I think Weber captures my voice. He sounds a little bit like me, we both have a similar background, similar sense of humour, so part of it with the audio is also the match you end up making.

RA: Yeah. It’s interesting, isn’t it? Because I certainly find I don’t often get to read something which is purely my choice, I have a stack of things that are work-related, or that I’m about to record. So I don’t think I’ve – I’ve chosen a book recently which is just been- I don’t know how I would pick something, it’s usually a recommendation, so I’ll certainly have a look at the Spencer novels, they sound – they sound brilliant.

HC: Yeah, and they’re fun – there was a TV series in America for a while called ‘Spencer for Hire’ – this is s or going back to the, I guess the 70s or 80s I think. Um, those were not great, but the novels themselves were sort of – Raymond Chandler to Robert B. Parker to the guys who are working now. So he’s a huge – he was a tremendous influence on most of your favourite crime writers. I said in his obituary eleven years ago, I said, “90% of writers admit that Robert B. Parker was an influence and 10% lie about it”. So um, if you can find Robert B. Parker Spencer novels that would be a good clue for everybody out there.

RA: Brilliant. Well, that just about wraps it up. And uh, thanks for talking to me. I really enjoyed the book and no doubt it will be another best-seller and fingers crossed it ends up as a TV series.

HC: Well, thanks Richard, and I look forward to seeing you work on uh, Stay Close. I know that uh, Armitage Army out there *laugh* that – your, your loud uh supporters and fans who just adore you are going to go gaga cause you get to play somebody quite different from Adam in The Stranger. Um, it’s-

RA: Yeah. Looking forward to it.

HC: Yeah, it’ll be a lot of fun. Thanks very much.

#this was actually more interesting that I thought it would be #sorry the audio ain't great I had to compress it a lot #it is longgg #richard armitage #harlan coben #win

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btsandvmin · 3 years

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hi i really love reading your posts!! thank you for taking your precious time to write about my favourite pair <3

ok my first ever question: (sorry if you’ve been asked this already). what do you think about jimin and jungkook having the most screen time in the memories of 2019 dvd? we’ve seen how close vmin were in 2019 but there was only a very very few vmin moments edited in the whole 10 hour dvd.. the longest vmin interaction being when jimin pointed out a mistake tae made on stage and tae basically said: i admit but don’t exaggerate it. from the lack of seeing vmin together on the dvd, i was thinking if a new army were to watch it, they’d think vmin aren’t as close and cute as jimin and jungkook. whereas they showed us jimin and jungkook rehearsing, goofing around, eating, arriving and leaving together in their car in every part. i understand jimin and jungkook like to spend time together but they could’ve shown us the other members a little more including vmin.. what are your thoughts?

First of all I do think we did get Vmin moments and that often perspective on these things can vary a lot just on how you experience something. Here is another person who thought we got a lot of Vmin in memories 2019 just as an example.

It’s a bit the same as with people calling Vmin dead despite everything we might get. And I think comparing is sadly a big factor in this. But once again, one ship having more or less moments shouldn’t be an indicator of their status or closeness as long as they clearly show signs of still being close. Which Vmin always have done. We should also remember that shippers spread moments and the amount you see things might make it feel like it’s even more than it is. I am not saying Ji/kook don’t have a lot of moments, but they might feel like even more than they are. If we compare maybe they have similar amounts of moments with less popular ships, like Jin/kook, but we don’t hear about it as much. (In memories I also think most of those 10 hours won’t be ship moments in general.)

I think for the most time when we see something it’s because that’s what the members are doing. We should also remember their individual personalities, and that some members might show up more simply becuse they spend more time doing fun things in front of the camera. I think Jimin, Jin and JK tend to get a lot more Bangtan Bomb time because they do “more interesting things” for example. Meanwhile Tae might be seen sitting on his phone in a corner or Namjoon might be resting etc.

I think using screen time to try an prove a ship won’t work on it’s own, but that screen time is a clear indicator of the bonds we see being genuine and that Ji/kook spend a lot together and are very close. But I don’t think lack of screen time definitely means the opposite. There can be many reasons we see more of various pairs. For example we also see a lot of Jin/kook, but their shippers aren’t as loud so we might not take note of it as much. We also get a lot of Vmin in other things like Bon Voyage, but that doesn’t mean that suddenly Ji/kook is dead. I really don’t think comparing is going to do anything good. I also think many ships get promoted in various ways, like being together for photoshoots or commercials etc. But for all we know they might partly get to choose themselves. Or it simply brings in good money to put some pairs together more etc. But even if there is a PR strategy or reason behind what we see, I doubt it has to do with a ship being real or not.

I think we see Ji/kook spend the most time together because they are together the most when they are surrounded by cameras. I think what we see is mostly what is happening. Because suggesting Big Hit editors are paying extra attention to any certain ship like showing them more or cutting away specific things based on only what members it involves would suggest an agenda. I recently talked about it in my post Can shipping turn into conspiracy theories? but once we start to question things being bent to deliberatly fool us it may allow us to take much bigger logical leaps. That’s how the narrative of Tae/kook being sepparated leads to them being more likely to also call other things fake or played up to hide tae/kook. If we add intention behind a moment we create a narrative, and in the end the more we assume and add beliefs into facts the further away we might end up from the actual truth.

My theory has always been that if a ship is real they would likely be careful and they might have their own reasons to act certain ways. Like Vmin seemingly being a bit nervous about being alone together. It’s still a theory of course, but I am always going to be much more careful with things that come from Big Hit and point it out as an agenda to create a certain image. For example saying Big Hit are forcing Vmin to stay apart or not do Vlives or put Ji/kook together more to “hide a ship with a ship”. Or even that moments in music videos are put there on purpose to either try to show a real ship or hide another etc.

For example if we assume the editors are cutting away Vmin on purpose I personally think we end up with a lot more problems. Like for how many people would know about Vmin? If editors and camera men and directors that might shift quite a lot all know to be careful about a certain ship, that is basically like outing them.

If there is video of them doing things “not fit for camera” that certainly means they aren’t very careful and would rely more on editing than just plainly being careful themselves. Which I personally see more signs of. If editors get instructions to treat one ship differently I personally think we would have much more rumors flying around. The more people know the harder a secret is to keep. So if there is a real couple in BTS I don’t expect general staff to know.

That’s also why I see it as more unlikely a real couple would openly live alone together, only share a car with each other or openly speak about being engaged etc. Of course this is all just me guessing as I am sure whatever strategy they might use could be very different depending on a lot of things. But at least looking at Vmin vs other ships there seems to be a carefulness in certain moments, and I think that has more to do with themselves rather than what Big Hit would force from them. Any relationship is basically a threat to BTS and their careers, of course they too would be aware of this. And I personally think they would put being careful above wanting people to know about them being a couple. At least watching Vmin and their personalities that’s what I think they would choose. Aka, not sending a lot of hidden signals for fans to pick up on. I think Tae might do it to some extent, only because he tends to get more frustrated and tend to sometimes express things even though he maybe shouldn’t. But even then it seems carefully done. Like the Christmas song to me was such a moment when he wanted to share his frustration. But the second time he mentioned it he didn’t mention Jimin at all. Or the way it took years for us to hear from Taehyung’s own mouth about 4 o’clock being partly about Jimin. I think they thread carefully not only with how they come across to fans, but also staff. That being said of course I do think that they can get away with a lot and that they probably are more comfortable when they know they aren’t being filmed or if there is an option to edit. I just don’t think most staff at Big Hit would know about a ship being real and work to present it in a certain way on purpose by order from Big Hit.

I think we see ji/kook together a lot because it’s easy and fun and comfortable. I am not saying they can’t be real, but I do ask why Vmin at the same time does seem to act careful and possibly even avoid certain things.

I don’t like to speculate about the moments we don’t get, because the reasons for why could be too many. For me I doubt the editors (and even less the captions) in BTS material are put there with an agenda. I think the editors view the material and pick what they might think is fun, though they likely also have their own bias and might be affected by what they see. For example I think Vmin being labeled as friends in captions has more to do with them and BTS calling them friends all the time which then editors pick up on and use.

Saying Vmin or any other ship is cut out to me opens a can of worms that lead down very dangerous paths. Paths we have seen other shippers walk. I also know that all ships have these “why are they the only ones edited out” or “why is this moment cut” agendas. Ji/kookers too say that we got to see Vmin and Tae/kook in bed in ITS but not Ji/kook because it would be “too much/obvious”.

I think we should go by what we see, but that we also shouldn’t make a big deal out of what we don’t see. So basically, seeing less Vmin won’t really change Vmin’s bond. That’s why I say looking at even small moments are a great indicator. We shouldn’t focus so much on amount, for any ship. But most importantly we shouldn’t assume amount is an indicator of Big Hit having an agenda.

Let’s say Vmin get cut out and the effect is people wondering if Vmin is fake. Why would they create this problem to begin with just to have Vmin release Friends which in turn make more people ship Vmin? To me it’s always too flippy floppy. Like why would Big HIt hide Tae/kook but then have them do the dance in DNA together or leave in other moments “just to keep interest up”.

Again, I try to not add reasons behind things we can’t know much about, but for me I think editing and cutting away moments from a ship as a strategy would be weird looking at the full picture of BTS and what we actually do get to see. I could be wrong, but I also know the slippery road I could end up on if I start to suspect Big Hit trying to fool us on purpuse on such a big scale. In the end that would basically mean anything could be real or fake, which is the point I sadly see some tae/kookers believe. They think tae/kook has been edited out and kept apart for years, and still won’t trust they simply might spend less time together even after ITS.

So, again, I think Vmin might act careful on their own to some degree, and I think Ji/kook and Jin/kook etc. like spending time togehter and also do things that are likely more interesting to show, like joke around or tease each other. Which then leads to more moments between them.

Thanks for the ask, and I hope you see what I am trying to say. I would have loved to see more Vmin, but we still got a lot of good moments if you ask me. Also, I am sorry for the messy state of this answer, but I will definitely talk about similar topics more in proper future posts. Thank you so much for liking my blog, and I hope you still do. 💜 (Also sorry for the late answer. )

#jimin #taehyung #vmin #vmin analysis #bts analysis #vmin editing #big hit agenda #my post #btsandvmin #btsandvmin ask #btsandvmin answer #bts memories of 2019

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davidfarland · 3 years

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In the Movie Industry

I was talking once to a movie producer who has about eighty films to his credit, and he was telling me some war stories about how producers and directors had destroyed various actors’ careers. In one case, it was totally by accident. A child actor had graduated to his first starring role in his early twenties, and when he came on the set he acted a bit pretentious, refusing to take advice from his director, treating others with disdain, trying to steal every scene—the usual crud.

Rather than take him to task, the producer suggested to the director that they “give him his head,” the way that you allow a horse to go where it will at times, and then handle the problem in editing. The director did exactly that, and then in editing did his best to “cut the star out of the movie.” He said that he got creative, using the reaction shots from the wrong scenes, and so on. In the end, the movie worked quite well—enough to receive broad critical acclaim and land the young star in a larger movie.

But the actor’s career ended abruptly. The next producer fired the actor relatively early in the shoot, and the fallout in Hollywood was big enough so that the young star never worked again.

I was impressed with my producer friend’s diplomacy. It would have been very difficult to find yourself butting heads with the star of your movie, and then looking for ways to work around the problems that he had created.

In the Writing Industry

Yet I realized that this is something that we do as writers all of the time. Very often, particularly early in a novel, you’ll find that certain characters are a bit long-winded, or you discover that they have problems that seem more intriguing than you wanted them to be, or you get in a mood to really explore a character’s inner life, or to describe a scene in such detail that it kills the pacing.

If you find yourself in one of these traps, don’t be afraid to follow your imagination. Just don’t follow it forever. We’ve all heard of authors who complain that one of their characters just sort of “took over the novel.”

I recall talking to a professional romance novelist who was on her eighth book. According to the outline she had sold to her publisher, her heroine was supposed to fall in love with a young Irish gentleman. Instead, the writer found that a stable boy became far more interesting—so much so that the heroine ran off with him in the end. The author complained bitterly when her editor rejected the novel, patiently explaining that “our readership demands that the love interest fit within the parameters we’ve given you.” She had to go back and rewrite the end.

Because I’ve seen so many people fall into this trap, I have to warn new authors against playing it completely loose. It’s easy to “turn off your internal editor” so much that your editorial skills become atrophied. That’s when you become a hack.

When First Writing a Scene

Let your conversations go a little long. Let your characters repeat ideas. Spend some time over-describing your scene. You can cut out the deadwood in the end, leaving only the most vibrant of the living trees.

In fact, I often recommend that when you’re preparing to write a novel, that you create sketches that won’t be used in your book at all, developing a biography for your character, a background dossier.

Sometimes with major characters, I find helpful to interview a character. By this I mean, I sit down and visualize my character—the way he or she is pacing across the room, the tone of his or her voice, the character’s dress and mannerisms—then I fire questions at random and imagine my character’s responses. For example, in a recent novel I asked a character, “Why are you so attracted to women with dark eyes?” He explained, “When I was young, my brother found a fawn in the woods. Its mother had been killed, and it was starving, so we tried to nurse it back to health. I remember looking into its eyes and thinking, No woman has ever had eyes so beautiful. Even my wife’s eyes only come close.”

Where did the question come from? Somewhere deep in my subconscious. Where did the answer come from? Same place. Yet both the question and the answers surprised me.

The Character Casting Call

Indeed, if you want to take this process one step further, one fun technique in this regard is to use the “casting director’s method for character selection.” That’s where you sit down and imagine that seven people have come to be interviewed for the role in your book. The only problem is, only one of them is just right for the role.

For example, you might be looking for the “handsome hero” for your book. But then you imagine that your heroes come. One might be twenty years too old for the job, and he’s a bit jaded. He’s looking for one last break. Another might be too ugly on the outside, yet so thoughtful and kind that he brings his own enigmatic charm to the table. The next is a sickly kid, a dreamer who is out of touch with reality.

So you interview each character, and if the chemistry is right, perhaps you pick someone that you hadn’t imagined using in the first place. Indeed, many literary writers would say that you must choose someone who doesn’t quite fit. Or maybe you take your handsome hero and give him some of the personality traits that you found in an alternate.

In any case, the point here is that when you’re writing, don’t be afraid to over-write, so long as you edit ruthlessly. In the end, your novel must display only the strongest of your work.

Get the Super Writers’ Bundle at www.mystorydoctor.com

#creative writing tips #free writing tips #writers of tumblr

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thiswasinevitableid · 4 years

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#7 with Sternclay, for the prompts?

Here you go! I went NSFW

#7: I’m assigned to write a piece rounding up all the bad press that you, a famous celebrity, have been getting and you show up in my office and demand me to write a retraction and get the ‘real’ story”

Barclay is so excited; he’s going to be spending two weeks on the Dual Mesa set, writing an exclusive behind the scenes story that’s sure to give the magazine a big sales boost.

“Ah, Barclay, come in.” Ned Chicane, the show’s director, ushers him into his office, “I assume they told you we will be leaving to shoot on location tomorrow?”

“Yes, I, uh, I’m really honored that you chose Q to run your story; your cast is so diverse, it really resonates with our readers.”

Ned waves a hand in faux-humility, “Why create a show with paranormal elements that simply recreates homogeneity? However, my dear boy, you were not chosen by me.”

“I requested it.” Barclay turns as a tall man with dark hair enters the office, and has the sudden urge to hide under the nearest table. The man currently staring him down with bright blue eyes and a mild-yet-clearly displeased expression is Joseph Stern, star of Dual Mesa and subject of a very unflattering article Barclay published a week ago.

“Look, Mr. Stern, I-”

“Quiet.” Stern holds up his hand, “I asked Ned to give Q a boost by granting access to the shoot because I think the magazine does excellent work. I asked for you to give you a chance to prove yourself.”

“Excuse me?”

“Your writing is quite good, but clearly your research and fact checking needs some work.”

“Just because you don’t like it-”

“I don’t, but that’s not the issue. You published things that are patently false and easily provable as such. For instance, the claim that I got this role by sleeping with the director has two major flaws; one, Ned is not my type.”

“There’s no accounting for poor taste.” Ned says, clearly unbothered,

“And two, Mr. Mosche would break my fingers if I tried to fuck his husband.” He points to the corner of the room where a large, tattooed man sits reading.

“Right you are.” He looks up long enough to reply.

“And anyone on set could have told you that. Whatever your sources were, you didn’t do due diligence. So you’ll be trying again.”

“Look, buddy, where do you get off giving me orders?”

“By being the star they’d have the hardest time killing off.”

“And by raising good points.” Ned stands, “asking for a flat retraction would reflect poorly on the show, as it would look as if we were trying to hide the truth. This allows you to correct misconceptions as well as get exclusive looks at next season.”

“You’re literally a paid actor, how the hell do I know you aren’t faking these two weeks?”

“You won’t be spending all your time with him; you’ll be interviewing others as well and have opportunities to observe him without him knowing.” Ned pats Barclays shoulder, “but he will be responsible for introducing you to the rest of the cast”

Barclay glances at Stern, who lifts an eyebrow with a smirk.

“So. Have fun with that!”

-----------------------------------------

The introduction the next day goes as well as trying to light a match in a hurricane. Stern is polite and professional when Barclay arrives, introduces him to the cast and the main crew without mentioning the article. But it’s clear Barclay’s reputation precedes him.

“You really got Joe figured all wrong.” Duck Newton, who plays good-hearted Sheriff Frank Roosevelt on the show, pulls Barclay aside as Stern and co-star Aubrey Little (who plays Lucille, a plucky young woman with a dark past) get ready to shoot.

“So everyone keeps saying, but I didn’t make that stuff up. It turned up when I researching him.”

“Don’t mean someone else didn’t just pull it out of their ass.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” Barclay sighs, rubbing his forehead.

“Look, all I know is Joe’s been nothin but kind a professional to me. I’d even call him a friend. Know he can come off as intimidatin and rigid sometimes, but he’s a good guy.”

Barclay hears variations of this sentiment over and over during the next two days. It’s part of why he’s currently sitting inside his motel room not far from the main set, eating dinner alone. Indrid, the costume designer had actually invited him to eat with a few members of the crew. Barclay demurred. If the bulk of the people on set think he’s a jerk, he doubts they’ll be that open to getting to know him. Plus, he’s kind of humiliated at how little actual evidence he can find for the claims against Stern, and doesn’t want to give the other man a chance to gloat.

There’s a knock on the door, and he opens it to find the last person he expects, or wants, to see.

“Good evening, Barclay.” Out of costume, Stern almost looks ordinary. There’s still the unfair symmetry of his face, the way he makes jeans and t-shirt look somehow sophisticated.

“Uh, something you need from me?”

Stern looks past him to his cobbled together dinner; Barclay’s a good cook, but the damn room doesn’t have anything more than a microwave.

“The chance to buy you an actual dinner.”

Barclay’s about to point out that he’s not eating in the commissary tent because of Stern when the actor adds, “please?”

He grabs his wallet and joins Stern in the still-warm evening air, following him into the few blocks that make up downtown Sagebrush, the former mining town that makes up much of Dual Mesa’s background. He expects them to stop at the Mizpah, the sole fancy hotel and restaurant, but Stern guides him past it and into a kitschy diner.

They study their menus in silence, the pleather booths squeaking awkwardly whenever one of them moves.

Barclay orders the burger plate that comes with a slice of pie and Stern, surprisingly goes for an omelette off the all-day breakfast menu.

“Barclay I, well, it’s obvious we got off on the wrong foot. I want you to know that as much as the article upset me, I don’t want you to be miserable while you’re here. No ones going to shun you for what you wrote.”

“Pretty clear they’re all on your side.” Barclay sips his water, meeting Stern’s gaze.

“There don’t need to be sides; you want to write an accurate profile of what it’s like on set, and I want to not have my name dragged through the mud anymore. Those come out to be the same thing.”

“You seem real fucking confident.” Barclay narrows his eyes.

Stern’s hackles go up, but then he sets his hands on the table with a measured breath, “I don’t pretend to be perfect, Barclay. I’m aware, well aware, of my flaws. But none of those flaws match what you wrote about me. I’m not asking to look untouchable in your piece, I’m asking to look like myself.”

Barclay looks down, spots him nervously shredding his napkin. As he’s thinking, a teenager in a tricolor tank-top approaches the table.

“Um, sorry, but are you Joseph Stern? The guy who plays agent Hooper?”

Stern smiles, genuine and reassuring, “I am.”

“Could I, uh, get a picture? Like a selfie?”

“Of course.”

Barclay watches Stern pose with the kid and compliment his pride shirt, before waving goodbye as he scurries back to his table to show his friends the photo.

“That doesn’t bother you?”

Stern shakes his head, “It happens pretty often, especially in town where most people know what I look like in my street clothes, so I’m used to it. Besides, for a lot of these kids there’s more than just the celebrity angle. I can count the number of gay, trans, Asian-american actors on T.V when I was kid with one hand,” He holds up a fist to indicate a zero, “if the price of being that person for kids now is posing for some pictures, I’ll pay it any day.”

Warmth blooms in his chest, the sincerity making him want to trade a truth in return, “Yeah, I remember looking for guys like me and not seeing them. I’d just pick a character I liked and kinda projected. Except the X-Files; then I just had a huge fucking crush on Mulder. Oh, thanks.” He smiles at the waitress as she sets his food down.

“I know that feeling. Somewhere there are pictures of me dressed as him for a Halloween party.”

“Heh, I haven’t dressed up for Halloween in ages.” Barclay munches on a fry, “Last three times I went as Bigfoot. It was an easy costume and kept my face hidden.”

“That’s a shame for the other party-goers.”

Barclay coughs, choking on his fry, as Stern blushes, shoves a piece of toast into his mouth, and changes the topic to books.

The next day, when Barclay arrives on location and everyone is milling about getting ready to shoot, Stern pats the chair near his own and talks with him until he’s needed on camera. Over the next week, Barclay finds himself next to Stern more often than not, comparing notes on the mystery novels they’ve been passing back and forth, or explaining his job moonlighting as a cookbook editor, or listening to the actor describe his travels to the locations of famous cryptid sightings. What surprises him most is how charming he finds Stern when he’s nowhere near a camera. On set, in character as Special Agent Alex Hooper, he radiates the quiet charm that makes his character so beloved. When they’re alone it’s different, a little less polished and little nerdier, and rather than captivating him it makes Barclay want to protect him.

It turns out that slips of the tongue happen to Stern a lot, at least when he’s around Barclay. “Sec” routinely becomes “sex” and comments about Barclay’s size and strength come often, Stern always sheepish afterwards. As if his attention is something Barclay may not want rather than something he craves like a four-course meal.

When he starts daydreaming about asking Stern back to his motel room after one of their now-regular dinners together (that Stern always pays for), he knows he’s in trouble.

“Helllloo?”

He jumps, chuckles in surprise as Aubrey finishes waving her hand in front of his face, “Sorry, was thinking about dinner.’

“I was saying thanks for coming out while we shoot this. I know how hard it can be to pull away from your ‘muse’.” She wiggles her eyebrows and Barclay feels the blush overrun him.

“Don’t worry, I’ll let him figure it out on his own.” Aubrey winks, the groans, “aw fuck here he comes.”

Robert Hayes, who plays the recurring role of Hooper’s supervisor, appears in the grove where they’re shooting a scene with just him and Aubrey. Barclay steps out of frame, Aubrey hissing “don’t leave me” as he does.

“I can’t believe Ned is letting Indrid do more alternative looks for you.”

“It works for Lucille.”

“It would work better if she was more conventionally attractive.”

Barclay growls under his breath; how dare this guy talk to his friend that way?

“Well, obviously not, because the audience likes me like this. And they have opinions worth listening too.”

The tension remains throughout the shoot, Barclay tensing every time Hayes opens his mouth. He pretends to be busy when the actor comes over to join him.

“I’m glad you’re planning on expanding your take-down of Stern.”

“I never said that. I’m writing about the new season of the show.”

“If you want more information about what he’s really like, I’ll be happy to chat with you in private.” The older man pats his shoulder and heads off to his trailer.

Barclay waits until he’s gone, then goes to look for Ned. He has a hunch the director might like to know about Haye’s offer.

-------------------------------------------

“...guess Ned put him in his place.” Stern finishes adjusting his tie as the scene sets up, “Sounds like he wanted his character to become the eventual lead, and thought shit-talking me would be the way to go.”

“I’m glad it’s sorted out.” Barclay pretends to be studying his notes so he doesn’t stare too noticeably at Stern’s ass.

“Me too. Thanks, Barclay.” Stern steps onto set, and as Ned begins running through the scene with Stern and the actor playing his (unbeknownst to him) alien lover, Bee, Barclay wishes he’d chosen to be elsewhere. Because this is a sex scene. With Stern. That he will be watching.

No, damn it, he’s a professional. His butt is staying in this chair.

He makes it through the several takes of the dialogue just fine, starts sweating a little when he kissing begins. Stern’s kisses strike a balance between tender and passionate, perfectly in character, and Barclay would give his right arm to trade places with Bee.

The action moves to the bed, Stern caressing his lover as they unbutton his shirt.

Okay, now he’d give his right arm and leg to be the one beneath him.

He reminds himself this airs on TNT, not HBO, so it can’t get much more explicit.

Sterns whole body drips with soft dominance as he pins Bee to the bed, cooing that he’s never seen a finer sight.

Fine, his right arm, leg, and any non-vital organs, he’ll trade them all in a second to hear Stern say that to him, even if it’s only pretend.

He doesn’t make it through the second take of the bed scene, hurries away as quietly as unobtrusively as he can. There’s no way he can make it to his motel like this, cock pressing so hard against his jeans he’s afraid he’ll end up with a zipper mark. And the bathrooms aren’t exactly private. He does have the key to Stern’s trailer, the actor having given it to him in case he needed somewhere air conditioned to rest from the heat. The trailer that is very nearby.

Does he dare?

The question hardly registers before he’s at the door, unlocking it and ducking inside before anyone sees. He leans against the counter with a groan, unzipping his pants and praying the pre-cum that immediately streaks his hand hasn’t made a noticeable spot in the denim.

He fumbles around to find some tissues, not wanting to face the humiliation of Stern walking in to find him cleaning cum off of his cabinets (he does actually want that humiliation, and badly, but not without Stern’s consent).

The strokes are hard and fast, his eyes shut so tight he sees static as he imagines Stern behind him, saying how much he wants him, how needy he is, how he’ll take care of him. He grits his teeth, breath leaving him in faint hisses and stifled moans until the temptation to say Stern’s name overwhelms him.

“Joe, Joe, fuck, Joe.”

“Yes, big guy?” A voice purrs in his ear as hands bracket him against the counter.

“Fuck” He tries to freeze, finds he’s shaking too much from want and worry to do so.

“You forgot to lock the door, silly boy. I, however, did not.”

“I’m, I’m sorry, I just needed to, fuck, I didn’t mean for you-”

One hand leaves the counter, strokes the base of his neck and toys with his hair, “what about this suggests I’m angry with this, um, development?”

Barclay whimpers, feet unwilling to turn and look Stern in the eye.

“Should I stop?” The tease goes from his voice.

All he can do is whimper again and shake his head.

The hand leaves his neck, slides down Barclay’s arm to rest atop his hand on the counter. The other takes it’s time snaking down his stomach and hips.

“Poor Barclay, no wonder you had to leave.” His hand nudges Barclay’s aside, takes it’s place around his cock, “you can probably see this thing from space. I’m taking this as a testament to my acting skills.” A laugh as he kisses Barclay’s neck, stroking him slowly.

“Please don’t say this is acting too.”

“It’s not.” A kiss to his cheek, a twist along his cock, both making him weak-kneed, “do you know what I was thinking about during that scene? I was thinking about you, what you’d look like if I fucked you. It’s only a quirk of anatomy” he grinds against Barclay’s ass, “that means I didn’t have a noticeable reaction on camera.”

“Fuck, Joe, more, please I need more of you, all of you, I’m so fucking close.”

The hand on his cock pulls away, “not just yet, big guy. Do you want me to fuck you?”

“Uhuh.” He whines, pushing his hips forward to bump his cock along Stern’s hand.

A light smack on the ass, “behave. Take everything off and wait for me on the bed.”

“Uh huh.” He turns, only for a hand to firmly grasp his chin and force him to stay eye to eye with Stern.

“Try that response again, big guy, with better manners.”

“Y-yes, s-sir, I, I understand.”

He’s yanked into a demanding, possessive kiss, Stern stroking his cheek approvingly when he releases him, “Good boy. Is this alright?”

“Yes, yesyes, Joe, please, I love it, don’t stop.”

“I won’t, unless you say so. Promise you will if you need to?”

“I swear, cross my heart, babe, please.”

A loving laugh, coupled with a peck on the lips, “bed.”

Barclay strips so quickly he loses his balance, landing on the bed as he fights to pull off his pants. He tries to calm himself by folding his clothes and setting them aside, certain that if he gets more excited he’ll become the first confirmed case of human combustion.

“Hands and knees, please.”

“Oh fuck me.”

Stern is standing by the bed, naked from the waist down save for a strap-on, but still in his special agent clothes from the waist up.

“Do you like the suit, big guy?”

“Yessir.”

“Good to know. Maybe next time I’ll wear the whole thing while I fuck you. Now” he climbs onto the bed, “try to relax for me.”

A condom-covered finger presses against his ass as soon as he’s on his hands and knees, Stern working him open efficiently yet gently until he’s begging for more. Stern ruffles his hair, and then the toy is pushing into him. It’s narrow, so the stretch isn’t too bad, and for a moment he wonders if it will even do much for him.

“Let me see, if I just-”

“FUCKfuck” The curve of the toy finds his prostate.

“That’s part of why this is a favorite of mine, it’s so effective” he thrusts harder, “at finding the right spots.”

“Mhhhmmmmm” Barclay bites the pillow to muffle his moans and growls, wiggles his hips as Stern finds his pace.

“The other reason I like it…”

“SHIT, babe, baby, ohfuck that’s good.” The toy vibrates, sending heat all through him, “fuck, I’m gonna come in like th-thirty seconds from that.”

“Thirty seconds? Let’s see if you’re right, big guy.”

“GaaAAHfuck, Joe, yeah, yeahyesbabeyes.” He gives up on being quiet as the actor rams into him, drops to his elbows when the intensity makes it impossible to anything other than moan and and grunt and take it.

“That’s it, good boy, let’s see just how hard you are for me” Stern pants as he reaches around, teasing the head of Barclay’s cock, “perfect, you’re doing wonderfully, fuck” a groan of gratification as Barclay spurts across the bed, “messy, god I love making you come apart, even I might make you clean that with you tongue later.”

“Oh god.” Barclay moans, drool staining the pillow, as Stern loops an arm tightly around his waist and grinds, the toy still bumping and rumbling inside his ass.

“Nnn, Barclay, yes, hold out just a little longer, let me get off on this perfect ass.”

Barclay whines, sensitivity overloading his circuits and driving him wild.

“Just a little more big guy, fuck, fuck, lord almighty I’m close, c’mon, you can handle it, you can be good and take me as long as I need.”

“Yes, yes, wanna take you, wanna be yours, wanna serve you.”

“Fuck” Stern doubles over, hips working frantically, “that’s it, good boy, if you’re in this bed you, fuck, your only job is to please me.”

“Yes” Barclay sobs just as Stern moans into his shoulder. When he pulls out, Barclay flops, limp, onto his side.

“You with me, baby?” Stern wiggles out of the harness, lays so they’re face to face and cups Barclay’s cheek.

“Mmhmm. Fuck” he pulls Stern into a hug, “I can’t believe we just did that. That was fucking amazing.”

“Didn’t take you for the sub type.”

“Everyone always wants me to be big ‘n dommy. Don’t wanna. Wanna be someone’s good boy.” He’s slurring, mind still a bit foggy.

“You can be mine. In, um in not just a sex way, although it can be just a sex thing if you want it to.”

“Nope” He cuddles him closer, then it hits him, “you’re asking me to be your boyfriend?”

“Please?”

“Yes. Yes. Yes” He kisses him after each answer, making them both laugh.

“It won’t fuck up your work?”

“I’ll ask Mama what she thinks, we might need to transfer the rest of the article to Thacker. Uh, maybe this is silly but, uh, can I take you to dinner? My treat?”

Stern kisses him, stars in his eyes and a hundred watt smile on his face, “that sounds perfect, big guy.”

#sternclay #meet ugly #agent stern/Barclay #celebrity AU #prompt fills

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agent-styles · 5 years

Text

close your eyes | chris evans

pairing: chris evans x reader

summary: you and chris unwind after a long day of shooting, and, in the process, you reflect on your relationship with chris and why you love him so much

word count: 1.1k

a/n: i got all up in my feels w this one sooo i hope you like it (:

warning(s): this fic is super, ridiculously cheesy and fluffy bc sometimes you need that in your life. it also mentions anxiety a little bit

You had been waiting in Chris’s trailer for quite some time now. You knew that he would be shooting for most of the day but you didn’t realize that the sun would set before he returned. You’d managed to finish the draft of your article in the time that Chris had been filming. You’d also cleaned his entire trailer. You thought about using some of his equipment to work out but settled for rubbing Dodger’s stomach instead.

Before you know it, the makeshift bed you’ve transformed the small couch in his trailer to starts to feel way more comfortable than it actually is. You feel your eyes start to close as Dodger curls up under your arm.

Your eyes dart open at the sound of the door handle rattling. Dodger starts to growl as you pull him closer to your body, like the big fur baby would hurt a fly in your honor. “There’s someone in here!” you warn the stranger on the other side of the door. You tuck your knees towards your chest, trying to make yourself smaller.

The door swings open to reveal Chris and his equally tired eyes. “Hey, hey... It’s just me.” His soft smile and fluffy hair make your heart flutter and stretch your body out on the couch. You raise your arms above your head and smile, looking at Dodger dancing in circles around Chris. “I didn’t think you were ever coming back,” you say.

Chris drops a binder and a bag on the table before making his way over to you. He leans down to get as many kisses as possible from Dodger. “Hey, bubba. Did you miss me? I missed you,” he tells the dog between giggles as Dodger prances around him. Then Chris lays down on the other end so his feet are by your head. You sit up and look at him. His right arm lays above his head, his eyes are closed, and a smile is on his face. He looks so relaxed.

“How was your day,” he asks as he can probably feel you starring at him.

“I got some work done. Tidied up the place.”

Chris’s right eye peeks open and glances around the trailer, “You didn’t have to do that, babe.”

You scoot forward so you’re sitting near his knees, your right knee falls over his straightened leg. “I don’t mind helping out. It’s been a long day.”

Chris eyes spark open as his hand finds your knee, “Did you finish the draft of your article?”

“Yes, it’s finally done! I emailed it my editor and everything.” you cheer.

“That’s fucking great, y/n!” Chris exclaims, squeezing your knee. His eyes holding the most energy you’ve seen from him since he walked in the door.

You chuckle and hide your face in your hands.

You had been working on a draft for your first article to be contributed to the online portion of a print magazine for a few weeks now. Chris would come home late at night or early in the morning and find you huddled over your laptop, trying to make everything perfect. He would help you do research about the topic when he wasn’t reassuring you that your writing was amazing. You’d even find him telling his brother Scott how proud he was that you were getting published.Chris made sure the world knew he was your biggest fan.

More often than not, Chris would have to pull you away from your laptop to watch The Little Mermaid or to take Dodger for a walk. He could tell when the work got to be too much and started to mess with your mind a bit. That’s something you have in common: being able to notice when the other could use a breather.

On the days that you would go to set and sit in video village to watch Chris work, you could tell from the way his shoulders would tense or the way he’d rub his hand over his eyes in between takes that he was ready for the director to call it quits for the day. Chris loves his job more than anyone you’ve ever met but he also loves what comes after a long day of work. One of your favorite things in the world is to watch Chris kick off his shoes and plop down on the couch, Dodger’s tail wagging as he takes his usual spot next to him. It brings you so much joy to watch Chris let out a sigh of relaxation as he sinks a little deeper into the sofa. As he flips to the sports channel, you grab your book from the coffee table. That’s how the two of you unwind: sports and books. He always asks what you’re reading and if he should check it out afterwards. Of course if it even mentions space in the slightest way, he’d tell you to leave it by his side of the bed when you’re done.

But on nights like this, when Chris wrapped so late that it’s the morning, home seems a little too far of a drive and the trailer serves as a makeshift safe haven. Eventually, you’d make it to the car, jogging to the driver’s side when you get close enough to ensure that Chris can rest in the passenger seat during the ride home.

For now, you just want some time with him. Sometimes it feels like you can never get enough time with him; like 24 hours isn’t enough and you wish the days could be longer just to hear his belly laugh when you struggle to reach the top shelf of your cabinet or to watch him pace around the kitchen as he rants about the state of politics in the United States.

You think about all of the days and nights you’ve spent together and how you want a million more as you look down at him. His eyes are closed, hiding your favorite shade of blue from you, but giving you an opportunity to see those famous eyelashes. You place you right hand on his chest and gently rub it, “Tough day?”

Chris opens his eyes and lets his right hand finds yours, “Long day.”

You press your lips together in a tight-lipped smile. The dimple in his left cheek becomes prominent when he leans forward, grin widening, and wraps his arm around your shoulder. Chris pulls you towards him so you’re laying on his chest, tucked under his right arm. He adjusts his body to pull you even tighter into him, his hand wraps around the small of your back to find a resting spot on your waist. You arm snakes around his waist as you snuggle into him, wishing you could just melt into him. You glance down at your feet to see Dodger fast asleep. You feel Chris’s head rest against yours when he whispers, “It’s better now though.”

#chris evans #chris evans fanfiction #chis evans fanfic #chris evans fic #chris evans imagine #chris evans fluff #chris evans angst #chris evans one shot #chris evans oneshot #chris evans x you #chris evans x reader #mine

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sarahegerton96 · 4 years

Text

Reunion-Taron Egerton

*******WARNING contains Smut********

HOPE YOU ENJOY

sorry if it sucks, I did try edit but may have missed some

************************************************************************

“Emma Wilson. It is so good to see you.” Amanda said with a fake smile as she handed me a name tag.

I held back my frown, “Yes, it’s good to see you too.” I blatantly lied. She was one of those snotty popular girls back in school, and we didn’t get along. So I wasn’t going to try to get along with her now.

“It’s actually surprising to see you here. You haven’t shown up to any of the past reunions.” Why was she still talking to me?

Pushing away the urge to roll my eyes I answered her, “My job didn’t allow me to get here.” This was half true. After school, I went to College for Communications Studies. Then I got a job at a popular Publishing Agency as the head editor. A short time after that, I wrote a book and it got pretty popular.

“Oh yes, I read your book. It was. Interesting.” Here we have it. The snotty Amanda has emerged.

“Thanks.” I said before walking away from her so she couldn’t say anything else to me.

I didn’t want to be here. I only came for an old high school friend who was dying to see me. Unfortunately she had to cancel on me because her young daughter was sick. By that time I had already checked into the hotel and it was too late to catch a flight back home.

If I just ignore Amanda and her group of friends, I should be alright.

Nope, I still didn’t want to be here.

No one of importance was going to show up. Of course, I was hoping one guy in particular would show up, but I doubt he would bother. He had gotten really famous since I last saw him. I had a huge crush on him back in school, because we both did drama together and back than I could tell he was an amazing actor. He never noticed me, but that didn’t matter.

Back when we attended school together, he had a head of luscious brown hair and was always the sweetest boy you could ever meet. I knew that he was still a sweetheart, but he has since shaved half his head for a role he has played. Don’t get me wrong, he’s still attractive with or without his hair.

I shook him out of my thoughts and made my way to the bar. If I was going to last the night, I would need drinks. A lot of them. This was going to be a long night. Making the night worse was the fact that my boyfriend of two years had broken up with me about a week ago. He was originally going to come with me, but well that didn’t work out. Just like our relationship.

I sighed and ordered myself a drink.

The first half hour was pure hell. Many of my old classmates felt the need to talk to me and ask me about my life and of course my writing career. I couldn’t understand why they were so star-struck over a single book. It wasn’t that popular. Back in school, none of these people even knew who I was, so that was another reason why I didn’t understand why they were talking to me now.

Sometime later, they had finally stopped bothering me and were busy mingling among each other. Meanwhile, I was trying to figure out a way to escape.

“Hey Emma.” Someone said sitting beside me at the bar.

I wanted to groan and tell them to leave me alone, well that was until I saw who it was. “Oh wow, Ian. It’s so good to see you.” I said to the man sitting beside me. “What are you doing here? Didn’t you vow never to come to any reunions?”

He chuckled, “Yes I did, but obviously I couldn’t keep that promise. My wife wanted me to come and well I just couldn’t say no to her, especially when she is in the condition she is in.” He explained.

I was a bit confused, “First question, who’s your wife? Second question, what condition?”

Ian laughed, “I married Poppy King and well she is seven months pregnant.” Just on cue Poppy waddled up to the two of us.

“Emma Wilson, look at you!” She commented. I smiled at her. Ian and Poppy were two people I was able to get along with in high school. We weren’t the best of friends, but we hung out from time to time. In fact they did drama as well.

I stood up and allowed Poppy to hug me, “No, look at you Poppy. You look amazing.” It was true.

She chuckled, “Nonsense, I’m as big as a whale.”

“No, you’re just carrying a baby and you look great doing it. Do you know what you’re having?” I was really excited for her. I loved children. I was planning to have some with my ex but I’m glad I didn’t.

“Nope, we’re waiting until the little one is born. We want to be surprised.”

“Awe, well congratulations. It’s so good to see the two of you.” I said sitting back down. Ian helped Poppy to sit beside him.

“Ditto, how have you been?” Poppy asked interested in my life. “Do you have someone special in your life?”

I sighed, “I did, until a week ago.”

She frowned, “Uh oh. What happened?”

“Nothing too important. My boyfriend of two years broke it off with me last week.” I was trying not to seem too affected by it, but it was absolutely killing me. Even if it was the best thing for me.

“Oh no, I’m sorry Emma.”

I shook my head, “It’s alright. I guess things just weren’t working out. I’ll be alright.”

“Well you’re still young, and I have no doubt in my mind you will find a better man.” Poppy said being optimistic like she always was.

“Hmmm, relatively young.”

“Oh stop it, Emma.”

The three of us spent the next half hour catching up with each other. Ian and Poppy were so cute together.

Suddenly there was a lot of commotion. “Uh oh, he’s arrived.” Ian said unenthusiastically.

“Who?”

“The one and only, Taron Egerton.” I knew better than to think Ian had some sort of animosity towards Taron, because he didn’t. He just didn’t like how the girls fawned over him so much. To be honest, I didn’t either.

“Taron is here? I really didn’t expect him to show up.” I said trying to get a glimpse of the dark haired actor.

“Oh yes. It was all Amanda and her crew could talk about when we arrived.” Poppy explained.

“Wow. Interesting.” I gave up trying to see Taron. There were too many people surrounding him.

“Remember when you had a crush on him?” Ian asked jabbing me with his elbow. “I bet you never expected him to become some hot shot actor.”

“Yes, I remember having a crush on him but that’s irrelevant now. But to be honest, I always knew he was going to make it big time. He was always so passionate when he acted.” I smiled remembering our days on the stage. There were only a couple of times when I had the privilege to act beside him. Those were great memories.

“He’s not the only one who made it big. Look at you Emma. You wrote a best-selling book. That book was amazing.” Poppy said making me blush slightly.

“No, stop it. I’m not as well-known as Taron. It was one small book.” I was always selling myself short when it came to that book.

She rolled her eyes, “Oh come on Emma. I couldn’t put that book down once I started reading it.”

I shrugged, “Okay, the book was great, but it’s still nothing compared to Taron and his fame.”

“That’s alright. Anyway, you should talk to him. See if he remembers you.” What was Poppy thinking?

“That isn’t going to happen.”

“Why?”

“Those women are not going to leave him alone.” She knew I was right, so she dropped it.

After a couple more drinks, I felt like I should probably leave. Ian and Poppy had left a half hour ago because Poppy was feeling tired. I felt like a loner, sitting at the bar while everyone else mingled and fawned over Taron. I ordered one last drink and paid my tab. It was time for me to get going.

“Emma, is that you?” A smooth voice asked. Of course he would be the one to find me.

I put on a smile and turned to see Taron Egerton standing beside me, “Yes, it is. Taron, how are you doing?” I asked being kind. I honestly wanted to talk to him, but I wasn’t sure if any of the women who had been fawning over him had followed him.

He smiled and took a seat beside me, “Good, what about you?”

“I have been good as well. I didn’t expect to see you here tonight. Not after your recent success.” I admitted as the bartender placed my drink in front of me.

“Oh yes, people keep saying that. But I wanted to come and see my old classmates. I mean how could I not. I was really hoping to see you.”

This surprised me, “Me, why did you want to see me?”

He chuckled, “Well you are the second most successful person in our class. I thought it would be interesting to talk to you.”

“Successful? Is that what you call one mediocre book?” I questioned.

“Oh come on Emma. That book was amazing. I couldn’t put it down, and I constantly find myself wanting to re-read it.” He said ordering a drink for himself.

“Really?”

“Yes. I have even given it to some of my co-workers to read. Including the director to my latest movie. He loved it a lot.”

My eyes were wide, “You gave it to a director?”

He nodded, “He couldn’t seem to put the book down.”

This was all too unreal, “No, you’re just joking.” I countered not believing he could have done that.

“Nope. Anyway how have you been besides writing an amazing book?” Taron asked me.

“Um, I have been decent. I’m working on another book, but I don’t think it will be as successful as the first one.” I admitted. I had been stuck writing this book for two years now.

“Nonsense, it will be just as amazing as the first one.” Taron was very sure of me. It made me feel nice.

“No I don’t think so. I can’t even finish it. It’s been two years and I can’t seem to find the perfect ending.”

“Writer’s block?”

“Yes.”

“What’s the book about? Maybe you just need to immerse yourself into that subject to get inspiration.” That was all very good advice, but it wasn’t going to work.

“See that’s the thing. It’s about relationships and well my relationships have been very unsuccessful in the last few years. So that isn’t going to work out.”

Taron looked intrigued, “You weren’t compatible with them. You need to find someone you are more compatible with.”

I just nodded and focused on my drink again. He didn’t need to know about the unsuccessful relationships.

“I’m guessing there’s no boyfriend at the moment?” He asked. Why was he so interested in my relationship status?

“No. That ended right before I came here.” Why did I just tell him that?

“I’m sorry about that.” Taron said being genuinely nice. He was like this back in school. It’s what attracted me to him.

“I’m not. There was a lot about him that I didn’t know.” I had found out a lot about my ex in the past week and those things made me glad that things were over between us.

“You’re just going to have to find someone better.”

I smirked, “Of course I am. Do you have anyone in mind?” I could tell where this was headed, and I was more than willing to go there.

Taron looked thoughtful for a second, “Hmmm, yes. I think I have the perfect guy. He’s a real gentlemen, has a very steady job, oh and you went to school with him.

“Are you talking about Andrew over there?” I joked looking over at the guy.

He rolled his eyes, “No, not him.”

“Who, I hear most of the men here are taken.” It was fun playing with him. It felt like we were back in school.

Taron stood up and pulled me out of my seat, “I’m talking about me.” There was no warning before his lips touched mine in a passionate kiss. He didn’t seem to care that we were surrounded by classmates and neither did I.

We pulled away from each other, “Mhmm, alright. What do you plan on doing about it?” I whispered into his ear.

He firmly gripped my hand and started pulling me to the exit of the room, I made sure to grab my bag before we left. “Take you to my room and do what I should have done years ago.” He led me into the lobby of the hotel the reunion was being held in and to the elevators. “Is that okay?” Awe, he’s asking me my consent like a real gentleman.

“Yes, it’s more than okay.” I answered. He smirked and pulled me into the elevator in front of us. No one got in with us, so we had the elevator to ourselves. He pushed me gently up against the wall of the elevator. His lips found mine once again and suddenly his words dawned on me and I pushed him away, “Wait a second, what do you mean you should have done this years ago?”

Taron chuckled, “I liked you back in school and I should have told you. Especially since you were always on my mind all these years. When you released your book, I tried to find you, but the publishing company wouldn’t give me your information.” This was pretty shocking; I was still stuck on the liking me back in school part.

“You liked me in school? Why?” I questioned ignoring the rest of what he said although I acknowledged it.

“Hmm, yes I did. You were…are beautiful. You were always so passionate about the things you love. Not to mention you were one of the kindest girls in our grade. There’s just so much to like about you.”

I smiled, “Wow, I liked you too.”

“I knew that already, darling.” He said claiming my lips once again.

I pushed him away again, “How?”

He rolled his eyes, “Poppy wasn’t so good at keeping her mouth shut. She let it slip the day before school ended.”

“Oh, she would do that. I need to thank her.”

“Later.” Taron growled taking my lips with his once again. He was a bit impatient, but I didn’t mind at all. I wanted him just as much as he wanted me. His hands were gripping my waist, pulling me even closer to his body. “Oh I have wanted this for way to long.” He mumbled against my lips.

The elevator dinged, “Then take me to your room and have me.” I whispered pushing him out of the elevator. “Which room is yours?” I asked him.

“1224.” He answered pulling out a keycard.

“Oh, that’s right next to mine. How convenient.” I stated nearly running off to his room. He followed close behind and pinned me to his door, his lips couldn’t get enough of mine. Now his tongue was fighting its way into my mouth, I allowed it. We made out against his door. I felt him snake a hand behind me to unlock the door. With a click, he pushed the door opened behind me and pushed me into the room, pinning me against the wall.

We pulled away for air, “Just so you know, I want so much more than just one night with you. Is that okay?” His hands were running over my curves.

“Yes, please don’t make me wait any longer.” I said reaching behind myself and pulling the zipper of my dress down. The straps fell off my shoulders and the dress pooled at my feet.

Taron admired my body only clad in a sexy pair of lingerie. I wasn’t expecting for anything to happen but now I was so glad I had chosen to wear this set. It seemed Taron liked them just as much as I did. While he was still admiring my body, I started working on his shirt. He quickly helped me to get that off, revealing a smooth and toned body that I liked a lot. It was my turn to admire his body. He smirked and pulled off his belt and unbuttoned his pants allowing them to fall to the ground. There was a huge bulge in his boxers.

I palmed it, “Oh, it seems little Taron is excited.” I mumbled allowing my hand to wander down his boxers. I gripped his length, impressed with how big he was. “Let me help you with that.” I used my other hand to push his boxers off and I began to stroke his cock. It was perfect. I couldn’t wait to feel it inside of me.

“Mhmm, you need some attention too.” One of his hands traveled down to my panties and inside immediately finding me wet. “It seems I have the same effect on you. We seemed to be very compatible.” This bought me back to our earlier conversation. I nodded as his fingers found my clit and started rubbing it at the same pace I was pumping him.

I didn’t notice him leading me towards the bedroom, I was too invested in wanting to make him come and the pleasure he was giving me. He was moaning as I continued to stroke him. “You’re going to make me come.” He said, his breath was erratic, and I knew he was close.

“That’s the point.” I said trying to hold off my moans.

At that moment he pulled his hand out of my panties causing me to whimper at the loss, “No, I only want to come while I’m pounding into you.” He stopped me from stroking him anymore. Then he hastily pulled my bra and panties off. Before I had time to think, he thrust into me.

“Ohhhhhhh Taron.” I moaned at the full feeling. He led me to the bed and pushed me down while he was still inside of me. “Please move.” I whimpered. He complied and pulled out only to plunge back into me, causing me to moan loudly.

“That’s it, moan. Let everyone know what I’m doing to you.” Those words only spurred me to moan again. My ex would never measure up to the sensations Taron was giving me. I have really missed out while I was with him.

“You feel so good inside of me.” His pace was becoming a little quicker, telling me he was getting closer to his climax.

“Can I come inside of you?”

Oh god, could he be any more of a gentleman?

“Yes.” I said scratching at his back as he brought me closer to the edge. His grip on my waist was tight and there would probably be marks in the morning, but I didn’t care.

“Come with me.” He thrust into me once more before finally letting go. I did as he told me and came at the same time. The pleasure was more than I could handle. I may have actually blanked out for a second there. I felt his warm seed shoot into me, making my climax that much better. We rode out our orgasms before finally collapsing onto the bed. After we caught our breath, Taron helped me to clean up. Then he pulled me under the sheets with him.

“So how compatible are we?” Taron asked as he stroked my hair while I laid on his chest.

“Very compatible it seems.” I said and he smiled, “You may have even helped me get rid of that pesky writer’s block.” I added.

“Oh good. So you will be releasing another book soon?”

“Maybe, but I’m going to need some more of that. One time just won’t do.” One time would never do with Taron Egerton.

“Alright, I think that can be arranged. Are you willing to work with my busy schedule?” He asked.

“Yes, as long as you can fit me in there somewhere.”

“Yeah, I believe I can.”

I felt like I was on cloud nine right now.

“How long will you be in town?” I had started to trace patterns on his skin.

“For two more days. What about you?” His arms tightened a bit around me.

“Same.”

“Well it seems are schedules seem to be in sync at the moment.”

“They do. Would you like to spend those two days with me?”

“Of course I would.” Taron leaned down and pulled me into a sweet kiss. “But we need some rest first.” I nodded and laid my head back on his chest, closing my eyes. I was already beginning to drift off. “I’m so glad to have found you tonight.” I heard him say before I completely drifted to sleep.

Three Years Later

Taron really worked wonders at getting rid of my writer’s block. I had my second book published about six months after the reunion. Now, I’m working on my fourth one now, with his help of course.

“Are you almost ready, love?” Taron asked coming into our bedroom. We’re living together now, because that’s what most married couples do. Oh yes, we got married about a year in a half ago. “Ian and Poppy are already on the way to the restaurant.”

I quickly finished up the sentence I had been working on for my book, “Yes, I’m ready.” I said saving the document and shutting my laptop. I tried to stand up but failed horribly, “Oh Taron, could you help me up?” I asked.

He chuckled, “Of course. How are you feeling today?” He asked as he helped me to stand up. “Is she still restless?” His hand ran over my belly. I was six months pregnant with our daughter and she was quite a restless little baby.

“She has been sleeping most of the day. I have no doubt she will wake up once I want to go to sleep.” That was what she liked to do, but I didn’t really mind at all.

“I’m sorry, darling.” Taron said before kissing me.

“Don’t be, I love it.” He chuckled. “Now should we get going?” I asked him.

“Oh yes, we don’t want to keep them waiting.”

Taron made me happy and he gave me the inspiration that I needed. I was glad I went to that reunion. If I hadn’t. We wouldn’t have had the chance to get together. Taron made life great.

@primaba11erina @mairyleo

#Smut #taron egerton smut #taron egerton #taron egerton imagine #18+#smutty imagine

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martinacollenderplaywrightblog · 4 years

Text

Interview I did with #FierceWomenCollective

Name: Martina Collender

Occupation: Playwright and Repeal the 8th Activist

Nationality: Irish

Country of residence: Ireland

Languages spoken: English

Contact: [email protected]

Tumblr blog: martinacollenderplaywright

Twitter: @Teenycollender

Availability: Martina is available to teach Creative Writing and Drama to all ages and also to give workshops on Play-writing. She is also available to gives talks on Repeal The 8th Campaign.

Advice to other women: "Everyone has a story in them. Write that play. Write the play you need to write. And don't ever, ever let anyone tell you you can't do it, because people will. They'll tell you, "You can't do that. You're not able to do that," and it's their own self-worries projected onto you. So don't ever let anyone tell you you can't do it."

Today I'm joined by an incredible woman who has a really long list of accomplishments up her sleeve. Involved in theatre and performing arts industries, Martina Collender is a playwright, writer and performer who is also actively involved in teaching of writing and drama to many young people. But in addition to her paid work, Martina is also a fierce campaigner for the Repeal the 8th movement in Ireland, which I will let her go into more detail about shortly. Welcome, Martina.

Thank you so much for having me.

Oh, it's wonderful to be able to speak with you today, and I really appreciate your time. Look, I thought we could start with talking about your theatre career. First question I had was, have you always wanted to be a playwright, and what is it about performance that captures your imagination?

Well, I joined Waterford Youth Arts, which is a youth theatre company based in Ireland. They do drama, arts, dance, creative writing and film. I joined when I was 16 and I left school quite young. I left school when I was 13 or 14, and I didn't really know what to do with my life. I quickly discovered I'm not an actor, I'm the worst actor in the world, so I was about to give it all up. I hated acting.

When I went to see a play by a local playwright called Jim Daly, To Leap From Paradise, and it might as well have been the West End, I fell in love with the lights, with the performance, with the idea you can tell a person's heart on stage through writing and performance. So I couldn't act, I couldn't do too much else, so I decided I was going to be a writer. So I got loads of plays out of the local library. I got Brian Friel, I got all the classic playwrights, and I read them all and I fell in love with it.

Ever since then, I haven't really been able to do anything else and I'm just enthralled by the idea that theatre can give a voice to the voiceless. And any good theatre, I think, if you pay your money for your ticket, you can sit down and you can see your own life on stage. That's the magic of theatre for me. I can't do anything else so I'm kind of stuck with writing.

Oh, it sounds absolutely beautiful. You left school so, so young and it's hard for an adult to imagine what they want to do, let alone a young person of that age. Was it easy to infiltrate the performing arts scene in your local area? Were you welcomed?

Well, I was really, really lucky. I was incredibly supported. I had Ollie Breslin at Waterford Youth Arts who welcomed me with open arms and gave me every opportunity I could possibly hope for. And then in Garter Lane Arts Centre, our local theatre, Jim Nolan opened doors to me, a professional director, and training me up as a stage manager. And then I went onto Ben Hennessy with Red Kettle Theatre Company, another professional theatre company, and they opened their doors for me and allowed me opportunities to learn. I think with theatre, you can't really learn from a book. I think you have to learn by doing it.

I then went onto Liam who gave me every opportunity, and Liam said a great thing once. He said, "The only thing you can ever give someone in this life is your time. Money and all of that other rubbish doesn't matter. The only thing you can give someone is time." And I was really lucky that I had all these professionals give me their time and patience and knowledge and look after me and take care of me when I messed up again and again and again. And what a wonderful thing to do. They weren't paid for that. They had no reason to do that. They just saw a young person who loved theatre and desperately wanted to learn, and they gave me everything they could. So I've been incredibly supportive. I've been very, very lucky.

Ah, that's absolutely wonderful. I must say, the idea about time being the most valuable thing you can give someone, I completely agree. It really is amazing what that can do for somebody's life. So it's wonderful to hear that other people around the world use that motto as well.

Yes. When Liam said it to me, and he said it to me two years ago and it was like a revelation, I was like, "Oh my God, you're right! That's all we can give each other. Yes!"

Martina's first play, written at just 17 years old.

What about the process of writing for you? How old were you when you produced your first play?

I was 17 when I had my first play put on, and that was a youth theatre play, so I work with youth arts regularly and I write for the old people. My first adult production put on in 2013 in the Theatre Royal with Red Kettle Theatre Company called Lover's Dust, which was directed by Ben Hennessey. That was a huge, huge opportunity for me and I learned a lot of lessons from it. The main thing Ben gave me was the confidence. He gave me the confidence that I was someone and that I could write.

In terms of the process of writing, it's really hard. It's really hard to write a play. It's really hard. But I picked up a lot of skills over the years on how to do it and how to sit down with it. I suppose, again, it comes back to support. The best thing you can do is get a group of actors in a room who read the play with you and say, "Oh, that doesn't work. Maybe try this," and you take a pen and you start cutting things.

Okay, so this is probably a really ignorant question, but I'm going to ask. What about the selection of people, the casting selection for the play? When you are writing something, do you have a strong idea in your mind of who you want to portray that or is that something that kind of happens organically?

I wouldn't. I suppose a lot of people are writer/director. I don't have the skills to be a director, so through the audition process I just don't know. When I write my character, I don't write them for specific actors. There's obviously actors I admire desperately and I dream of having them in my play, but I kind of leave that up to the director. I'd hand over and I'd trust the director and I'd be like, "I don't know what to do now. You take that over. You do that bit."

Does that partnership always go well for people around you as well?

Yeah. Well I suppose it's the thing I love about theatre. It's one of the one art forms that's all about collaboration. You can't to theatre alone, and it literally is collaboration, so you have to work with the actors. So if an actor says, "I can't say that line," you won't get anywhere if you go, "Well I wrote it. Say it." You have to work with them.

The magic of theatre is it's collaboration down to the person who's sewing a button on someone's shirt so it looks right. It's collaboration down to the person who sweeps the stage. It's collaboration down to the light designer, the sound designer, the set designer. Nothing happens without a group of people coming together and saying, "We're coming into this room and we're going to try and create something together."

If you write a book, it's very much yours. You've got pure creative control over it. Like, you work with an editor, but that world you're creating's yours. But in theatre, when I create a character, what a costume designer might do with that character might be completely different to what I had in my head. And it's hard. It's hard sometimes. Like, you would be having fights with people, you would be killing each other, but that's all part of it and that's what I love about it. And it's why I don't write film scripts, it's why I don't write books, it's why I write theatre.

'Cause we live in an age now where we've seen so many progressions in the way we experience culture, I guess. People used to go to the theatre and then there were movies and now there's Netflix. Have you found that people are still as interested in theatre and attending a theatre performance as they always have been? Or have people increased their interest in theatre? What's your experience there?

It's a tricky one. It's a tricky one. It's difficult to get people to come to theatre. It's very difficult, and because of Netflix and because of the cinema, and it's hard to get people in the door. I suppose you're trying to sell different playwrights to people as different authors or different filmmakers, so I do think it is difficult. On the flip side of that, I will contradict myself. I have seen a lot of younger playwrights come up and therefore a lot of younger people going to the theatre. But it's hard. Publicity for theatre is one of the main things that you have to push.

I do think it has changed. I think theatre has changed. I think Friel and all the classic playwrights, I don't really see a lot of that anymore, and I don't necessarily think it's a bad thing. I think we can always have respect for Friel and Shakespeare and the old school playwrights and we can also make room for the new playwrights. It's just about advertising it a way so people know if you're coming to see this place, you know what you're going to get. But in Waterford Theatre is alive and well. We're lucky with that. We're very lucky in Waterford 'cause we have Spraoi, we have a national street theatre festival, so we have a lot of arts in Waterford. Sheila Penkart has recently taken over Garter Lane Arts Centre, and she's worked in theatre since she was 11, so I'm incredibly excited to see what she'll do. But it's a constant battle to get people in the door. But I find once you have them in the door, they're hooked. We just have to get them in the door.

Yeah, this is the thing. The thrill that you get from a live performance cannot be rivalled by anything that you see on screen, and that's not to take away from movies. Obviously we enjoy movies and they tell a story, but I know for myself, there's nothing like a live performance and connecting with a character or a theme.

Absolutely. Like you have to nail on the head ... nailing it on the head there. The cinema's great, books are great, these are all extraordinary art forms, but when you're in a theatre, if theater's done well, you're feeling what the characters are feeling, you're in the courtroom, you're going through them with it and it's happening right in front of you. If you're lucky enough to see a group of extraordinary actors, you feel like you're living the story with them. That's why I much prefer to go to the theatre than to go to the cinema because, with the cinema, there is a block of screen, and also the magic of live theatre, you don't know what will happen every night. With a film, if you mess something up you can just do another take. You don't know how the audience will react. Sometimes the audience will laugh at one thing, they won't laugh at another, so you don't know. So every time that curtain goes up, who knows what will happen? Who knows what will happen? When things go wrong, they're the stories you're going to be laughing at 20 years from now. It's really magic 'cause you're watching human beings be live on stage, and you don't know what will happen. But as with like Netflix, you can pause it. Do you know? You can press pause when you're bored. That's exactly what I'd be selling. That's exactly the reason I sell theatre to people.

I'm sorry, I have to ask: obviously you're working with professionals and you have strategies with dealing with that, but what does happen when things go wrong? Is it just a matter of ploughing ahead or have you seen any real disasters?

I've worked with nine year olds, I've worked with amateurs, I've worked with professionals, and everything has gone wrong. Whether you're a professional or you're a nine-year-old child acting for the first time, what we say is keep going. You just keep going. You keep going. I've heard ... there's a hilarious story about this. There was a play, and there was a coffin on stage, and they had a mannequin in the coffin to play the body. The actor was giving a really big emotional speech and the head of the mannequin fell off and rolled across the front of the stage, and all he did was he walked down, picked up the mannequin and he said, "Right, well that's it then." You have to keep going and you have to have a sense of humour about it. Now, for the actors, it's the worst thing in the world to happen, but if you keep going, I guarantee you it'll be the best story to tell. It's the best story to tell.

I just love that so much. I mean, it's good. I think you do have to keep a light heart about that kind of thing, and you're making memories at the very least.

Yes, yes. Looking for the positive, always.

You just mentioned it there about you work with a lot of young people. In what ways do you think drama and creative writing are benefiting young people nowadays?

Well, one thing I think that theatre does for young people, it's very little to do with the play. I'd actually say the play, the end product, is the last on the list. I think what theatre does for people in general is give them confidence. It gives them confidence. So when we do drama classes, for me it gave me confidence, it saved me. I work with Shine Discovery, which is for people who are recovering from mental illness, and I work with young people. So what if none of them pursue a career in theatre? That has nothing to do with it. But the confidence they get, and they get a group of friends and they get a summer of memories and they get to laugh and they get to know it's okay to laugh at yourself. Like, they do. Do you know, it's like, "We're going to make a show of ourself here. If something goes wrong, doesn't matter at all. Doesn't matter. Laugh it off," and so their confidence soars. And whether it be with speech, or finding out who they are ...'Cause being young is really hard. I don't think young people get enough credit. You're 13, you're in a new school, you're trying to find yourself, you're trying to keep up with study, you're trying to keep your parents happy, you're trying to find friends, you're discovering the first pain of friends not lasting forever, you're trying to find out who you like, you're discovering alcohol, you're discovering drugs, and all this time you're expected to smile and be perfect. So if they can come into a room, and we run around and play games and we get to find out about each other and we get to discover empathy and, more importantly, they're told they have a voice and they matter. Even if that voice is saying, "I'm really angry at the world," that's incredibly important. A lot of them leave and go off to do other careers, but they carry the confidence with them that they got in drama. So that's actually what theatre does for people. It has very little to do with what the audience sees. It's teamwork, it's importance, it's responsibility, it's valuing you as a human, and it's telling the world that we care about you and if you're not here, this play isn't going to happen. That's how important you are. So that's what I think's the real magic of working with kids in theatre.

It sounds absolutely beautiful. As you know, this project is about developing confidence in people, and it's wonderful to hear that there's a medium out there, particularly in young people, help them during, as you said, what is quite a vulnerable time in their lives. Is it easy to recruit young people to come along and learn about drama and partake in your activities?

We have a huge membership at Waterford Youth Arts, but I suppose the barrier I feel when I say to young people, "Come and do drama," they think we all sit around wearing black, talking about Shakespeare sat down and I'm like, "We don't do that! Come along." So that's the barrier, I find. But I do believe, and I understand how difficult it is to walk into that room. It's very difficult to walk into a room for the first time, but if you can just make that first step, once you come in, you'll stay.

And what about the teaching side of things when it comes to writing and drama? Obviously, as you've just said, it's not just about coming out with a finished product, it's about developing all these special skills and individual skills as well. But is it easy to teach someone to think creatively and be involved in drama, or do you think that it really comes from the person themselves?

I think it definitely comes from the person itself. Well, I fully believe, hand on heart, there's not a single person who walks on this earth who is not creative. I fully believe that. So my role, as a tutor, is getting them to find their voice, getting them to find what they want to say, getting them to find their confidence in making their art. I can give them tips and tricks and formulas that they might find useful when they're trying to figure out what they want to create, but at the end of the day my main goal is to help them find their voice.

Like, when it comes to teach creative writing, I'm dyslexic. I left school quite early. I have no time whatsoever for marking someone's work or spelling or grammar. I tell you, when I teach creative writing, forget about spelling or grammar. Let's just get out what's in your head. I give them writing prompts. For example, with the 15 to 19s I'm working with, the most recent prompt I asked them to do was secrets. We all have a secret, so they all wrote down their secrets and swapped them with someone else, and that was a writing prompt. Or with my nine to 11 group, I asked them to bring in their favourite teddy bears, 'cause our teddies know everything about us, they know everything about us, and we wrote the adventures of our teddy bears, and that was extraordinarily beautiful. We had one teddy called Froggy who is afraid of water and hasn't been washed in all of his life.

What I find as well, with young people, if you give them that skill of their teddies, if they're feeling scared or they're worried, they find it easier to talk to the teddy. So they're able to say, "Well, Froggy's a bit scared of this," and then it's "That's okay." So it's able for them to talk through their problems without having to say it's me. So when I teach performers, when I teach drama, I just teach them the basics. I teach them blocking and focalization, I teach them that. But mainly I teach them the self-belief and confidence to walk out on stage.

It sounds like the impact you're having transcends the drama itself, which is just so wonderful. What about in terms of young people that you work with that do want to pursue a career in the arts? I know for myself and people around me growing up, pursuing a career in the arts could be dissuaded because it's perceived as an unstable career path. I was wondering, for yourself, have you experienced any negativity pertaining to wanting to be a playwright, or do you feel that the children that you work with have those fears as well?

Well, I've been quite lucky. I've been incredibly supported from my family and from my community and from my friends. But at the same time, I do acknowledge that it's a tough career. Like, financially, I'm quite lucky. I don't have a mortgage, I don't have a family, I don't have kids, so I just have to look after myself, and I know a lot of people who are professionals in this career and are still not financially rewarded. What I always say to people when they say, "I want to study creative writing," I always say you do what you need to do. If you need to study theatre or creative writing, don't get to 90 years old and regret it. You have time. You can study creative writing and drama, and if it doesn't work out you can go back to college as a mature student. What I always say to someone who's unsure, I say you never have to give it up. You can be a nurse, you can be a guard, you can be any other career in this world and you can still write, you can still perform. This is not something that will ever be taken away from you. It's not a direct choice. And obviously the people will say, "I don't want to study it." I'm like, "Cool, best of luck but please come back and visit."

But it's tough, and I'm not a parent but I can imagine the anxiety that parents have when their child wants to do it, because it's a tough business when you go to your fifth audition and you don't get the part, or you get your age rejection letter, and you need the support of someone sitting there and telling you it's okay. It is a tough business to get into, but it just comes back to it's you don't want to regret that you didn't give it a shot. Like, there is time. You can try it. And if it doesn't work out, so what? You'll get memories, you'll have learned a lesson, you can keep it up, you can go on to teach creative writing, you can go on to teach drama, you can do an amateur production of a play. It doesn't end. But if you're 18, you have nothing to lose, you have no one else to look after in this world, apart from yourself, go for it. Go for it. What's the worst that could happen?

On the flip side of that, if you're 50 and you've had your job and you're kids are reared and you think maybe now I could write a play, do it. Do it. Do it. Absolutely, do it. If the thoughts in your head, do it. What's the worst that could happen? Someone will say they don't like it and you tell them to go away. That's just one person's opinion. Do you know?

That's exactly right. So what? I do feel that sometimes we're so caught up in other people's opinions that we forget that it's okay to live and just do what we want to do. If we're not hurting other people, why not give it a go?

Absolutely. And look, I'm not saying I don't get hurt from people saying I didn't like the play, but it's part of it. You have to go, "Yeah," and do you know what? It's better to have the audience halved and one half saying I liked it and one half saying the other liked it. The worst thing in the world is a group of people to come out and say, "It was nice." Nice! Steak is nice. I'd much prefer for someone to be so angry by hating the play and have an emotional reaction rather than going, "It's grand, yeah."

Actually, I've never thought of that before, but that must be so true. I think, yeah, I'd rather polarise reactions than the word nice, for sure.

Yeah.

And so we've covered it a little bit. You say you've experienced negativity and you move on. What about performance itself, or even the idea of presenting your work to other people? Do you ever feel nervous about doing that and, if so, how do you tackle those nerves?

Yeah, I'm terrified constantly. I'm terrified on a daily basis. If I send an email to someone, I am terrified, and when it gets to opening night of one of my plays, I freak out. I completely freak out. It's agony. Do you know? It's tough. It's very, very, very tough. I don't have a solution. I don't have a magic solution. All I know is that it's worth it when the audience say or the actors say or someone says it had an impact on them. I think self-doubt. In any creative business you're always battling with self-doubt, you're always going, "I'm rubbish. This is rubbish. Who do I think I am to be a writer? Everyone's going to hate it." And it's part and parcel of it. It's part and parcel of it. You have to find ways to cope.

I walk a lot. I find exercise genuinely saves my mental health. I talk to my friends, my very close friends about it, and I cry a lot. I cry a lot. I cry so much. But I think it's important to release it out of your body in some way, because if you keep it inside you, you're just going to end up being unwell, so if you can find a way to get it out of your body, I think is the only advice I can offer. And do you know what? If you feel that nervous about it, then it means you care about it 'cause you're having to put a lot of your heart into it, so it's a good thing to be nervous.

And what about your experience as a woman in the performing arts industry? Obviously it sounds like you've had a very supported career and that you're surrounded by supportive people. Would you say that women are well represented in your field?

Yes and no. We had to....in the feminist campaign that hit the Abbey Theatre, which is the national theatre of Ireland, two years ago, and it was making the point that it was a lot of male writers that had been chosen by the Abbey in the recent years, and it was making a point of women being underrepresented and represented in the arts.

To be honest, it's a tricky one and I struggle with it. I wouldn't want to see a situation where five females and five males have been chosen because we need five females. I think it should always come down to talent. I think in every show I've worked with there's been equal men and women been involved, but I do think it's a campaign worth noting because I don't think it was always that way and I do think there is still battles with women being asked to take lower wages and having to fight your way to top, and there are horrible people you meet who make sexist comments and I don't think that's representative of the industry, I think it's representative of horrible men, but they are in the industry and I'd like to see that broken down that there's a way where you don't have to engage with them. You can get around it. But, in my opinion, like, both of our theatres in Waterford are being run by Mary Boland and Sheila Penkart. They're the strongest women in Waterford Theatre, so I'm quite lucky living in Waterford. I'm surrounded by strong female role models and there's even more coming up. But I do think it's a question we should be asking ourselves as society.

There's been a lot more information about this kind of thing recently, so I know there have been in studies, in academia, showing that if a person's name is put on a list and the gender is revealed or the gender is inferred by their name, that men will often be put to the top of the pile or selected over a woman. In the theatre industry, are there ways to combat that? In a selection of plays, is it possible to remove people's names so that it is based on the play itself and not the person associated with it?

Yes, that is possible, and my name is Martina. I've often thought about, when I submit plays, would I change it to Martin? And I didn't out of principle. I refused to. I think the danger of removing the playwright's name for the posters is you're taking away the credit to the playwright. But that is a solution, do you know, and I think it's very important we're having the conversation. Let's find solutions, and even if 50 of those solutions are wrong or don't work, we're having the conversation.

Now, that would just be my opinion. A lot of people would say the playwright has nothing to do with it because it's on stage at this point, so it should be regardless whether the playwright's name is mentioned. But I would just argue back for the playwrights it's important to have the acknowledgement of the name on the poster.

Yeah, and I can absolutely see, of course you put all that work in, and it also has implications for future work for you as well obviously if you're names on a poster or whether it's not. It's a very complicated issue. How do you get to the root of that problem and that bias that's still in there?

Absolutely. I'm intrigued by the fact it's so complicated. I'm like, well, let's keep talking about it, 'cause anything worth doing never had an easy answer, and if it has an easy answer I think it would've been done years ago. But I think it's so important this dialogue is opened and it's talked about with people within the industry, people outside the industry, how do they perceive it? Male, female, transgender, everyone needs to be involved in this conversation until we find a solution for it. Because we can't bury our heads in the sand and say, "Oh, that's too difficult." I think as society, as the world, we need to address yeah, there's been a problem, women been oppressed for years. Just because we're not oppressed anymore, just because we're fighting and we've risen doesn't mean that we're not still holding onto old habits that need to be erased from the way we speak about women, the way that we address and acknowledge women, and it's just keep conversation open.

What are your thoughts then, as a woman in the performing arts industry, on the recent MeToo campaign? Obviously this is a huge ... there are many campaigns around the world, there've been people for many years discussing these issues, but obviously this has blown up and it's very topical at the moment. Do you have any thoughts and opinions about that campaign or things pertaining to it?

Yes, absolutely. I suppose I might get in trouble for saying this. I'm a bit controversial on the MeToo campaign to be brutally honest. My problem with the MeToo campaign is this is brilliant, we're finally breaking silence. Absolutely. I am 100% behind it. I can't imagine the pain of women who have suffered this. But my problem with it is it's blown up, it's everywhere, it's on Twitter, you can't escape it even if you want to, and I'd be very concerned the counselling services been put in place for women who have suffered this abuse.

In Ireland, counselling for survivors of sexual abuse is very limited, and recently the MeToo campaign broke in Ireland. I'd be very concerned about women who are very distraught, very upset, open wounds have happened, and they're on Twitter asking for someone to help them. So that's one of my concerns with the MeToo campaign.

My other concern with the MeToo campaign, we have a court of law. Whether we like it or not, that's our court of law and we have to abide by it, because if we start taking the law into our own hands we're going to end up destroying each other. Literally destroying each other. And what I'd say to the MeToo campaign, I'd like to see the MeToo campaign as tackling the court of law.

In Ireland, there's one per cent, one per cent of conviction of rape cases, and the way a woman is treated in rape or sexual assaults in Ireland is disgusting. It's the only crime, it is the only crime where the victim is a liar until proven innocent and you're underwear is shown to you in court and you go through eight days of cross-examination, and if you had any alcohol in you you're just not believed. So I would like to see this campaign move forward fighting for counselling and also fighting for conviction of rapists.

I heard a brilliant quote. Someone said, "My experiences deserve more than a MeToo hashtag on Twitter." Twitter is 160 characters. How can you put what happened to you into 160 characters? I think it's brilliant that we're vocalising it, but I think we need to follow up the vocalisation with action, and I think the law needs to stand up and admit that they've been treating women horrifically and they need to change the law. Because, at the minute, I can't actually imagine why anyone would go to the police if they'd been raped because you're treated horribly. You're treated like you're the one who committed the crime. In Ireland, for example, if you go to a sexual assault and rape clinic, you're asked is there mental illness or alcoholism in your family? If you're stabbed you're not asked that. What does that have to do with the fact that you've just been raped?

I'm delighted, I'm really, perversely I'm using the word delighted, that it's been acknowledged, because for years women, and men who've been raped as well, have just had to get over it themselves and know there is no justice for it and that's it. And particularly with Facebook and camera phones now, that's an issue that needs to be addressed. People are having pictures taken of them and put up without their consent. So it's great, but I'd like to see us moving forward with it and putting in practical solutions and help for women that just has not been there.

You have articulated your thoughts on that absolutely beautifully, and I must say that I mirror a lot of those sentiments. I find it very concerning the idea of a trial by social media, and I also feel that in today's day and age it's very easy to become complacent, that we feel that if we comment online and don't actually do any action in the real world that that is participating and actually helping to change things, and I think that's only very true on a very limited scale. It's very good, as you said, to talk about things and get the knowledge out there, but at the end of the day action is what is going to change things, and I think that's a beautiful perspective. Thank you so much for sharing that.

Thank you very much. Thanks a million.

Moving on, I think it's a really good time actually to introduce talking about the Repeal the 8th campaign that you have been a fierce campaigner for yourself. You obviously have very strong opinions and are very passionate about topics pertaining to women and women's rights. For those overseas who aren't aware of the Repeal the 8th campaign, are you able to tell us what the campaign is about and why you support it so strongly?

Yes. I've spoken to a lot of my friends who are overseas, and they found it incredibly shocking when I told them what Repeal the 8th is. So, the 8th Amendment, basically if you're pregnant in Ireland, under no circumstances can you have access to an abortion. That includes rape, that includes if your life is in danger, that includes if you're told your child won't live, you still have to carry that child. That includes if you have had an accident and you're on life support. If the foetus has a beating heart, you will be kept on life support.

Wow.

It's very, very, very restrictive. Under no circumstances, under no circumstances are you able to access an abortion in Ireland. Abortion pills are illegal. If you're caught taking an abortion pill you can face up to seven years in prison, I think. So our option at the minute for thousands of Irish women is to travel to England for an abortion, and that costs a lot of money. It's averaging a thousand Euro to get over there, including flights and including the money for the procedure once you get over there. We have heard horrific cases, we have heard horrendous cases.

In 1991, there was case X. She was a 14-year-old girl who was raped by a man known to the family, and became pregnant. She decided she wanted to have an abortion and her mother was going to go with her, and the family told the Guards that they were going over there because they just wanted them to know, and they also were hoping would there be any evidence that they could get to try and identify the man and get him convicted. They were stopped from going and that girl was forced to remain pregnant. At 14, raped, she was forced to remain pregnant. They eventually went to court, and she eventually ended up having a miscarriage. But if she hadn't miscarried, that 14-year-old child would've been forced to remain pregnant. Most recently, last year, a teenager requested an abortion, and she was put into a psychiatric ward and was forced to remain pregnant.

Now, they're the extreme cases on the most basic level. No woman in Ireland has the rights to her own body. No woman. We have to be forced to remain pregnant against our will, so if we're suffering mental illness, if we just don't want to have that pregnancy for whatever reason, whether it be cases of rape, whether it be an abusive situation, whether it be financial strain, whether it be that they're in college and they want to live their own life, whether they feel they have three children and they can't afford to feed them, whether it be their last child was a stillborn and they can't go through with another pregnancy, it doesn't matter. You have to leave your own country to access basic healthcare.

Look, I must say it blows my mind, and I am actually at a loss for words. I mean, this is 2018, and I firmly believe that my body is my body and what I do with it is my right, and so I would love to believe that there's enough support in the community to repeal the 8th. But the fact that it's still there is concerning, from what you've said. So what is the feeling like in your community at the moment? Are you confident that the 8th will be repealed, or is there still strong resistance to keeping it there?

I'm terrified. We're going to have a vote in May and we're campaigning, we're canvassing, we're going door to door, we're doing stalls, but I'm genuinely worried. I'm really worried whether it's going to come true or not because the Pro Life are against the 8th Amendment being repealed. They've got a huge amount of money and also they're quite aggressive with their lies. They tend to tell lies, and they tend to also pull on the heartstrings. Like, they're going around saying, "Oh, if abortion is allowed in Ireland a woman can have abortion at nine months." That's absolute lies and its ridiculous. But they are pulling on the heartstrings and they're very emotionally abusive, I think. So I'm genuinely worried.

In the past five years, there's been a huge uprising, a huge uprising for Repeal the 8th. There's a woman I work with, Sue Larkin, she's been fighting for this for 35 years. That's a very long time, and she said when she used to go out 30 years ago, people would throw bottles at them, they'd release dogs on them, they'd call them murderers. You might get three people to go to an event because people were so afraid to say that they were pro-choice, but it was happening. It was happening. Thousands of people were going to England. So in the last five years there's been a huge, huge uprise, and there've been T-shirts and jumpers done, and it's starting to feel like there's a community behind it. Anyone who's going to vote no on this is crazy and is ridiculous because they're trying to control a woman's body. But I don't know, I think it'd be very dangerous at this stage to say we have it in the bag. I think the whole world is looking at Ireland to see what you're going to do, and I hope that pressure will put it forward, but I'm going to keep canvassing and hopefully we will make a difference.

And what about the idea of the referendum itself? This is something that I'm not sure of what my opinion is on it, but the idea of a referendum sounds wonderful, it's very democratic, but we're talking about a decision pertaining to someone's body, and you're allowing the masses to make that decision when you would hope that the people that you have elected to parliament have the good sense and the education and understanding to be able to pass these things in parliament without referring to the people.

As we've seen in recent years, I mean, just because there's a referendum, doesn't mean that sensible choices will be made, and I don't need to go into anymore detail about that. Are you happy with the path of a referendum? Do you think this is the only way to change it in Ireland at the moment?

No, I'm not really ... What happened in Ireland before Christmas, they had a thing called the Eighth Committee, so they had people who've been directly affected from both sides give their say on it. So they had a wonderful woman speaking about foetal fatal abnormality, and they had people from the Pro Life side, and this went on for weeks. I followed it and I genuinely thought that was enough. I thought that was enough because they had hundreds of women saying this has affected me directly, and the cruelty of the journey of travelling. But it's our legal system and I have to abide by it. Whether I agree with it or not I have to abide by it.

I do hope the people of Ireland will make the right decision because what's bizarre at the minute is there's no aftercare for women when they come home, and we're all pretending like this isn't happening. It's 12 women a day are making an horrific journey. It was admitted that at least one woman bled out flying home. When you go over there, you're told, once you've gotten the procedure, to go to a cinema because it's warm, and if you collapse there'll be people around you to help you. When you return home, you're expected to go to work on Monday morning.

It's very difficult to find counselling that isn't from the Pro Life side. Just physical aftercare, it's not there. You're given Panadol and you're expected to be silent about this. Even if you are 100% sure you're making the right decision, this is one of the hardest things you're going to have to do in your life, and you have to carry it around by yourself, so if Ireland is saying abortion is illegal, they're completely ignoring 12 women a day who are travelling.

I heard a great thing. A couple moved to Ireland from America because they thought that Ireland didn't allow abortion that we had great care for people with disabilities. And we don't. But they presumed because abortion is illegal we've got all these supports. We don't at all. We don't at all. And there's a group, People with Disabilities for Choice, and they're making the point, well, what if I have a disability and I want to have an abortion? So there is a huge, huge uprise, but it is shocking. Ireland is very, very shocking with the way we treat women.

I always find that very interesting that you on one hand don't provide the support to women to enable them to have control of their bodies and have an abortion, and then on the flip side of that also don't provide support. It's almost like an extension of punishment to women: yes we're not going to allow you rights to your body and if you do take that path, we're not going to support you and give you the help that you need afterwards to make you a happy and healthy person in society. It just blows my mind, in short.

Absolutely. For a single mother, there isn't a lot of financial support and it's very difficult to get that support. You're treated horribly by the system. We have a housing crisis at the minute. Do you know, a lot of families are homeless at the minute. A lot of families are homeless at the minute. If you do choose to have the baby, it's impossible to get counselling after a pregnancy. There's no support. There's no support for any kind of pregnancy. And contraceptive isn't free. Contraceptive is not free in Ireland. You have to get the contraceptive pill on prescription from your doctor. Condoms aren't free. Our sex education is horrendous. There's no sex education for gay or transgender people. So what I'd say to the government, how about you put a lot of money into fixing the housing crisis, how about we allow free non-catholic, non-religion-based sex education that actually answers people's questions, and free contraceptive. And then when they've done all that, they can say, "We don't want abortion here."

That's a very, very valid point. And the idea that church and state are still so intertwined is very, very concerning. What about the topic of abortion itself? Obviously it's a very serious one. There are probably women who are listening to this who are Pro Life and don't agree with it, but in particular if you do support abortion, it tends to leave women open for attack in a variety of horrendous ways. I was wondering, have you personally experienced any negativity about your beliefs and, if so, how do you cope with those attacks?

I do. I do. I experience a lot of negativity. I have no problem talking to someone who's Pro Life and we can debate it calmly, and more often than not we have to shake hands 'cause I'm trying to change their mind and they're trying to change my mind and it's not going to happen, so we just have to part ways and leave it go. But there is the extremists who will call you a murderer, who will scream at you. And the way I cope with it is because I know right now, on a plane, there is 12 women going through the worst day of their life, and they are hoping someone is going to do something about it. So if I wear a jumper, if I have a protest, if I buy a badge, if I have a conversation, it's me helping those women in a tiny, tiny way. And you know what? Abortion is very upsetting. No one wants to have an abortion. There is not a single person in this world who wants to have an abortion. It's a crisis pregnancy. Crisis. And they deserve our support as well. And often people who have an abortion, they are thinking about the child. They don't want to bring the child into their circumstances or this world for a reason, and they should be given support in making that choice. In terms of negativity, it's getting very hot here in Ireland, it's getting very heated, and I think it's going to get worse in the next couple of weeks. I just have to practise self-care. I need to be warm a lot. I find being warm helps me, or exercise. And not engaging with it. Do you know, if someone is becoming abusive, I would never become abusive to someone who is Pro Life. I respect your opinion, I respect that you would never make the choice to have an abortion, but how can you take that choice away from someone else?

That's exactly right. And what would your advice be to Irish women out there who may be pregnant or lack access to contraception and feel they have no options? I mean, you're obviously very aware of the campaign, you know the ins and outs of the law, are there support services you can recommend that they may be able to access?

Women on the Web is a fantastic service, and they can offer you advice. My main thing to women is when you're googling, be careful of the sites you look up, because sometimes sites you're looking up is Pro Life and they're trying to change your mind. And now it can be easily solved by just clicking on whatever site you look up and making sure that they're not trying to lead you in one way. And also to contact clinics in England. BPAS, B-P-A-S, is fantastic. They're a brilliant clinic. They can offer you counselling, they can offer you options, they're going to explain exactly what's going to happen to you. They look after you and they'll take care of you. Unfortunately, they're looking after Irish women, 'cause we won't look after them at home. But they are a fantastic service and they will look after you.

Wonderful. Thank you so much. I can't imagine the fear that a woman must feel not being able to access services that she so desperately needs. I'm sure that even if one woman knows that there is now a site that they can at least go to or some way that they can maybe get out of their situation, I'm sure that is a huge help. Concerning the campaign itself, what if there are women who want to support the campaign but don't really know what to do or how to go about it, do you have any advice for them?

Yes, absolutely. Well, if you're in Waterford you can contact Pro Choice Waterford. We're on Facebook, Twitter, and our email is [email protected]. What we are saying to people is, 'cause a lot of people want to get involved in the campaign but they're saying we don't have time or we don't really feel comfortable standing on streets, so we offer a wide range of things you can do to help.

If you've got half an hour spare and you can drop some leaflets in your area, that would be a fantastic help 'cause we can't get to everywhere. We're based in the city centre. If you would like to sell some badges or T-shirts, that would be brilliant for us if you want to take five away. If you'd like to help us set up a table quiz, because it is quite negative, so if we have a night out and we're all supportive of each other, that would be fantastic. If you want to share us on Facebook, that would be great. If you could give us a like, even to build up a community. If you'd like to write a letter, this'd be very important. Writing a letter to your local newspaper — letters to the editor have to be printed — just on why you're supporting Repeal the 8th. If you're national in Ireland, you can get involved in the Abortion Rights Campaign, if you're across the seas and you want to help, you can order merchandise from the Abortion Rights Campaign. All money goes back into the campaign and it would greatly help us. So if you just check out the Abortion Rights Campaign, Pro Choice Waterford, we've loads of events coming up, and even literally, it sounds stupid, but if you can buy a mug for a fiver it would be a huge help for all that money to go back into this campaign.

Fantastic. And what I love about that, as you said, there are so many ways that you can hep that can fit in with your lifestyle and your ability and your ability to speak out, because I understand there may even be women who are really in support of this but can't speak out because of their certain situation at home or whatever it may be, so that's wonderful that you have so many avenues that women can access.

Yes, absolutely.

You said you're on Facebook as well, and I have to draw attention to that because a lot of people do use Facebook nowadays, and so sorry, is it Repeal the 8th at Facebook? Is that what you're campaign is?

Yes. We're on Pro Choice Waterford. If you type in Repeal the 8th at Facebook, you'll find all the Repeal the 8th pages, and you can find the national one and the local one just so you can find out more information. If you want more information on what the 8th Amendment is in Ireland, you can find it all there.

Moving a little bit to a little bit more about you. Obviously you are an amazing woman, you're achieving great things professionally, you're a writer, you've achieved your dream of working as a playwright, you're also helping young people, you're also very educated and supportive of women rights generally with your involvement with the Repeal the 8th campaign. We've already spoken a little bit about confidence, but everything that you do really requires confidence, and you, yourself, have acknowledged how important confidence is. So, how do you foster confidence in yourself? Is it something that you actively have to think about, or do you think it's something that is innate within you?

Well, I was never very, very confident, and I still would freak out and get very anxious about even sending an email. I suppose someone said to me once, and it was a brilliant thing, "No one is confident, but we all pretend we are." So if you are scared and if you are nervous, pretend you're confident. And I do that daily. I'll meet someone for coffee, I'll give a talk, I'll write, I'll go to the open night of my play and I'll come home and I'll collapse in exhaustion, and I'll allow myself then to be scared.

When it comes to learning to be confident, it's very difficult for anyone in this life to be confident, but if you smile and if you can pretend you're confident and if you can get passionate about something, if you're really passionate about something, I think confidence comes hand in hand, 'cause if you really care and if you really want to make a difference, you will find confidence to shout.

When I was younger, I was very scared of everything, and I still remain to be scared, but I'm so passionate about Repeal the 8th and I'm so passionate about young people being given a chance, I find myself standing up then and going, "No, we need to fight for this. We need to fight for this," 'cause we only have one life and if you do anything in your life, be kind to each other or help someone. But it's a daily battle and I think a lot of people listening to this will recognise that. It's a daily, daily battle.

For some women, makeup. I find when I wear makeup, when I'm particularly nervous, gives me a confidence boost. I don't know why. I think mainly, if I'm wearing foundation, no one can see me when I go red. When I get embarrassed, no one ... And such a simple thing. It's such a simple thing, but it helps me so much. When I wear high heels I feel confident, because I'm quite short, so I feel confident when I'm wearing high heels. Like, little tricks. Tricks. That's all they are is tricks. Water. Whenever I go anywhere I need to have water with me 'cause my mouth gets very dry. When my mouth gets dry I start panicking, I start gasping. So, little tricks. You only know it about yourself, you know? Some people say it gets easier when you get older, but any person I know who's older says it doesn't, it gets worse. You just get better at pretending. You get better at pretending. And it's hard. It's hard. Life is hard. Do you know, life is like one really bad awkward day that doesn't end, and we have to keep going. And laugh at yourself. Oh God, when it comes to confidence, laugh at yourself. I get so embarrassed and worked up over little things, and this is something I'm still learning to do. I get so upset over nothing and so I'm trying to learn to laugh at myself and going, "It doesn't matter and it'll be fine," and most of the time things end up being fine.

I'll tell you what, everything you've said resonates so much with me. I must say, it's so true about finding what works for you. I mean, what helps with someone else's confidence may not work with yours, and I think that holding that with you ... If wearing makeup is enough to get you through the day or through an interview or whatever it is that you're going through, if that works for you, go for it. There's no harm, is there, in doing what works for you.

Not at all. Absolutely not. And it comes back to caring what people think. I heard a great quote: "When we're younger we worry about what people think of us. When we're older we don't care what they think of us. When we're old enough, we realise they weren't thinking about us at all."

Do what's best for you. Wear high heels. If you need anti-anxieties, if you need medication, use it. If you need water, if you need makeup. And if anyone says you're stupid for them, they've just got their own insecurities that they're trying to put onto you. So it's very important to recognise that they have stuff they're working through. It's nothing to do with you. Do what works for you because it's your life. It's your life. And it's hard. Do whatever makes it easy on you.

On yourself. That's right. And you only get one life so try and enjoy it as much as you can.

Exactly, yes…you're like. I mean, when it comes to it, we all know we're all going to the grave. The last person to latch down is the undertaker. You don't want to be going down with worry, and life's too short to be worrying. Look, I'm saying that and I spent all day yesterday worrying. I'm not saying I have it down to a tee, I'm just saying I'm trying to laugh as much as possible.

As well as encouraging confidence in women. We want women to stand up and be proud of what they do, and so I wanted to know what it is today that you're most proud of. When I say that, it can be with your writing, it can be with the Repeal the 8th, it might be something completely different, but you're very accomplished. What is it something that deep down you are really proud of that you've achieved?

That's a really tough question. It's a really difficult question. It's a really tough one. I suppose one of my proudest moments, and there's different levels of pride in your life. One of my proudest moments was when I got my first paycheck and I cashed it. I went home and I was able to give very small money to my mam and my dad and my sister, 'cause they supported me, they gave me money, they gave me dinner, they gave me love when I didn't deserve it, they gave me everything. And that was just a wonderful moment of all the years they spent collecting me, having dinners ready for me, giving me money when they had nothing, giving me everything, showing up to plays. It was a wonderful moment walking in the door at home. And it wasn't money, it was able to say thank you. It was able to say thank you. And I'll never be able to thank them. You can't thank them for everything they've done for me. But what an extraordinary moment to go, "You've supported me all this way and I got paid for it. People applauded and you were in the audience and thanks." And, you know, we got chips out of it and we had a great night and it was just a lovely, lovely moment. It was a lovely moment.

And just on that, I know you only asked me to say one, but when we did a Repeal the 8th protest and I was standing on Ballybricken and it was freezing cold and we genuinely thought no one was going to show up, I looked down and there was about nine or 10 of my friends. I knew they were going to walk down that quay with me if it was only the 10 of us. It was only the 10 of us and that was such a proud moment because I know if I've done nothing else in my life, I've gathered these wonderful humans and they love me enough that they will walk with me anywhere, and they're all wonderful. How lucky am I to have them as friends, and how lucky am I to have them as friends who go, "All right. Grand, girl. You want to do a march. Okay, we're with you. Okay, this is a bit crazy but yeah, we'll go with you." So those are the moments that stand out.

I just love that response so much. For me, it's the fact that, as you said, you can have pride in so many levels in your life and those are very different places to have pride, but they also revolve around the people in your life and how they've helped you too, which I think speaks bountifully about the kind of person that you are, so congratulations on those achievements. I was just sitting there thinking about that feeling you would've had, being able to go home and do that for your family. That would've been amazing.

Thank you so much. Thank you so so so much.

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paradisobound · 5 years

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I Want It, I Got It: Chapter 11

Summary: Phil Lester was a worker for the BBC in London. Working in the advertising department, he was content being alongside his friend and fellow coworker PJ during every shift. However, the BBC is temporarily being used as a film set for a new movie staring Hollywood ‘It’ star, Daniel Howell. Being stuck as an extra on the set, Phil finds it’s hard to ignore the famous star. And maybe, just maybe, Dan finds it hard to ignore Phil as well.

Word Count: 2.2k (this chapter)

Warnings: Occasional swearing and mentions of sex

Rating: Mature (for right now)

Updates will be every Wednesday at 4pm and Sunday at 1pm EST

**MASTERLIST | READ ON AO3**

For Phil, clicking publish on his video was, undoubtedly, one of the hardest things he has had to do in a long time. He spent the evening editing the video with Dan watching from the sidelines to get a better look at what editing was really like. And when he was done, he processed it to his YouTube page and waited to publish it.

But now it was ready, he felt his chest tighten. This was a big deal. This was a big deal because this video was the first one he posted in…6 years? Had it really been that long?

He was nervous for the comeback.

He was nervous for the comments, the tweets and for everything else that is going to come out when everyone sees Dan in the thumbnail. He was nervous for the queued tweet that he has ready to go saying “NOT CLICKBAIT. NEW VIDEO FEATURING DANIEL HOWELL”.

“I’m not sure about this.”

Dan looked at where Phil’s finger was poised over the trackpad. “Not sure about what?”

“About posting the video.” Phil said, his hand now beginning to shake slightly.

He turned his head and looked at Dan, trying to ignore that he saw a little bit of disappointment behind his eyes. “You don’t have to post it if you don’t want to.”

“I…I know.” Phil said, his voice quivering. “I think I’m just nervous.”

Phil looked back at the screen and watched his mouse hover over the button. He shouldn’t be this nervous. Maybe if it was just a video of himself, he wouldn’t be. But surely just knowing Dan was in the video shouldn’t be the only reason why he’s nervous?

He pressed his fingers down and the video went live.

He felt all air escape his lungs and looked over at Dan was smiling. “Send me the link and I’ll post it on my Twitter.”

Phil quickly copied the link with shaking hands and then sent it to Dan. As soon as Dan tweeted out the link, Phil shut his laptop down and took a few stuttering breaths. He needed to relax and to calm down. There was no point in getting worked up over something that he couldn’t really change anymore…well, he could. But hypothetically he couldn’t.

He tweeted out the same tweet he had queued in his drafts and then he retweeted Dan’s tweet and then sat back, staring at his phone. He shouldn’t have been surprised at how his name was trending. Nor should he have been surprised at the amount of follow requests he received as well.

He accepted none of them and closed the app, turning off his notifications for Twitter so he wouldn’t have to see them.

“I have to fly back to LA tomorrow morning.” Dan says, out of the blue, as they remained sat on Phil’s couch. “Filming begins again tomorrow night. I have to catch a plane at half past 6 tomorrow morning.”

Phil couldn’t help but feel the pang in his chest from Dan’s words. “So soon?” He found himself asking.

Dan let out a sigh. “Unfortunately.” He paused. “Tomorrow I get to film a sex scene.”

Phil quickly turned his head. “A sex scene?”

Dan nodded. “Yes, with Mimei.”

“That sounds…awkward?” Phil asked, finding himself chuckle.

“Oh it’s going to be incredibly awkward.” Dan said with a loud laugh. “Not only is it a sex scene which like, don’t get me wrong, I love having sex, but not staged sex? And even though this is obviously not sex and we’ll not be actually fornicating, the thought that I have to go through the motions completely staged is a little bit repulsing.”

“I don’t think I could do it.” Phil answered truthfully. “I’m awkward enough about life in general. I can’t imagine having to fake have sex with a person while being filmed.”

“I’ve done it before.” Dan says, his eyes staring straight ahead. “It was for an Indie Movie that I did prior to me becoming famous. It was with my ex-boyfriend.”

Dan swallowed and then continued. “It wasn’t bad? But that could have also been because we were used to having sex anyway so staging it wasn’t quite that hard to do.”

“I don’t think I could ever do it.” Phil repeats.

“I think it would be less awkward for me if it wasn’t with a Mimei.” Dan says. “Like, if it was with a guy, I think I’d be better off.”

Phil was a little bit taken back by the openness of this conversation he was having with Dan. He wasn’t expecting for Dan to openly be speaking to sex about him. It was a little bit dizzying given all of the circumstances of today.

“Oh same.” Phil found himself choking out.

“Oh?” Dan says, a smile playing on his lips.

“I just prefer to have sex with guys.”

Phil felt like he was choking on his own air. He was having trouble registering in his mind that he had just come out to Dan. Not directly, but he still kind of did. And it was a big deal. It was a massive deal, actually. Because up until him telling this to Dan, his family and PJ and Sophie were the only ones who knew about his sexuality.

“You probably already knew about me.” Dan says. “And my preference over who I like.”

Phil feels slightly embarrassed and ashamed. He had read about it on Wikipedia, that sensitive information not even hidden from the public, but plastered onto this website with millions of visitors a day.

“I’m sorry that you don’t get to have privacy anymore.”

Dan shrugs. It’s a genuine shrug, not one that is just blowing off what Phil had said. “At least my sex tape hasn’t been released.”

Phil’s eyes bug out of his head and Dan’s lets out a loud laugh.

“I’m kidding mate. I don’t have a sex tape…or at least I don’t think I do.”

***

To say the video went viral was an understatement by far. Within just the first ten hours, the video already had 3 million views and was growing by the second. News sites were writing stories about the video and about Dan being in it, of course Phil was mentioned as well but a lot more sparingly.

Phil could see now what it felt like to have people saying your name in every news story or in every twitter mention. He couldn’t even keep up with all of the people requesting to follow him so, unwillingly, he unprivated his Twitter and let the follows happen. He went from just under 30k followers to almost 100k in the first three hours. By the next morning, he had nearly 350k followers, all of which were from Dan.

It was overwhelming. He was overwhelmed.

Dan knew that though. Which is why Dan suggested they order out from some greasy food place and indulge their feelings in some plastic tasting pizza. Phil never ordered Dominos, but he had to admit that it tasted good on his palette and was definitely a comfort food.

Spike already appreciated having bites of sausage given to him as well as he sat on Phil’s feet.

“So your video went viral.” Dan says, between bites of pizza and whatever dipping sauce he was using. “Not gonna lie, didn’t quite expect that to happen.”

“Me neither.” Phil answered honestly. “My channel is growing and my Twitter is as well. I’m scared to go into the comments.”

“How did you learn to edit?”

The fast change in topic gave Phil a little bit of whiplash but he recovered fast. He rather enjoyed being able to answer questions about how he learned to do YouTube or how he learned his video editing skills, even if they are a bit rusty.

“I got a masters degree is video editing and post production from the University of York.” He says. “I never really used it unless I was doing videos. I wanted to be a director for a little while, but I knew it wasn’t a realistic dream so that’s why I did YouTube. But I got hired at the BBC by pure luck and I haven’t really gotten a chance to use those skills.”

“That’s really cool actually.” Dan says, setting down his slice of pizza back onto his plate. “I’ve never been allowed in the editing room of a movie, not even when I did Indie Films in high school. But I’ve always wanted to know what the process was like. Like being able to chose the frames you want or the takes you want. Sometimes when I attend my movie premieres and I watch the films, I get mad that the editor chose to use my bad takes or my bad sides and I wish I had a bit more control over it.”

“You don’t have a bad side.”

When Phil caught wind of the words leaving his mouth, he looked up from his own plate, and stared at Dan. His cheeks were flushed red and he was holding his lips in a thin line, almost to keep himself from smiling. Phil wished he would give in and just smile.

“That’s not true.”

“No it is true.” Phil continues, his mouth just moving without his control over what was being said. “It is true because…”

He’s destined to never finish that sentence because Dan’s phone begins to ring loudly on the counter, interrupting them with the shrill sound of the default phone ring.

Dan grabs his phone and answers it, abruptly leaving his pizza behind to cool on the plate.

Phil lets out a loud sigh and looks down at Spike who is whimpering for another table scrap at his feet. He just nods and picks off a piece of pepperoni and hands it to Spike with a sad chuckle.

“I’d like to think you’re whimpering at the secondhand embarrassment but I know you just want more food.” Phil whispers, scratching behind Spikes ear. “To be fair, I didn’t even know what I was going to say anyway. This was probably for the best.”

Phil remained sitting in the kitchen while he heard the telltale footsteps of Dan pacing back and forth somewhere down the short hallway towards the bathroom. He couldn’t make out anything Dan was saying, but he actually didn’t want to. It always felt like a weird breach of privacy to listen to someone else’s phone conversation.

When Dan returns, his face is flustered and his shoulders are tense. He slides back into his sit and picks at his pizza slice haphazardly with his fingers. “Marianne, my manager, just called. She said doing the video was a bad PR move. I don’t see how but she’s really mad.”

Phil felt his heart fall out his chest. He knew that he shouldn’t have posted the video. He knew it!

“I’m sorry. I knew we shouldn’t have posted it.”

Dan shook his head. “No, I’m not mad that we posted it. I’m just…I want to do things that I want to do. I wanted to do the video with you. I wanted to be a part of it. I don’t understand how it’s a bad PR move but whatever.”

Phil could sense the frustration in Dan’s voice and when he looked at Dan, he could see the beginnings of unshed tears glazing his eyes. Dan sniffled, confirming Phil’s thoughts, and as soon as the first tear made way down Dan’s cheek, Phil immediately thrusted a bunch of napkins to him to help.

Dan wiped his eyes and refused to make eye-contact with Phil. Phil felt his heart clench every time Dan sniffled and wiped at his eyes. He watched as the tears slowly stopped and all that was left was Dan’s bloodshot eyes in their wake.

“I’m sorry.” Dan apologizes. “I just get really overwhelmed.”

“You have every right to be upset, Dan.” Phil says. His hand reaches out and suddenly, it’s laying on top of Dan’s arm, his fingers laying into the fuzzy fabric of his sweater. “You should be able to do what you want to do.”

“It’s pretty ironic.” Dan says with a laugh. “Just this morning, I was giving you the same talk and now you’re sitting here and giving me it.”

Phil did have to admit it was pretty ironic, but that didn’t make the situation any less complicated or hurtful for either one of them.

“I think I need some time to myself.” Dan said, suddenly standing up. “Do you mind if I…”

“You can lay down in my bedroom if you’d like.” Phil said, letting his hand fall from Dan’s arm to the counter. “I don’t mind.”

“I think I just need a few hours away from social media and from my managers constant nagging and calling. I’m sorry for being such a shit guest.”

“It’s okay.”

And it really was okay. Phil didn’t mind that Dan needed some alone time, he did as well. He needed time to process what had happened. He watched Dan’s back as he retreated to be alone and Phil remained sat down, the pizza now cold on the counter.

Today had been unlike any other day Phil had ever had before in his life.

#phan #phanfic #phanfiction #au #famous!dan #moviestar!dan #normal!phil #princesslexi763fics

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cammcharg · 4 years

Text

A film composer interviewed me...

I was recently honored to be approached by a film composer who wanted to interview me over a couple of drinks, and this is what they came away with...

Interview with a Film Director Cameron McHarg

Cameron McHarg grew up in the rainy, blue-collar suburbs of the Pacific Northwest. He has won the Gold Addy and Silver Telly Awards, and was a shortlisted winner for the Cannes Young Director Award for the commercials that he'd written and directed. His first short film, Kicking Sand in Your Face went on to success on the international festival circuit, and was later sold to cable networks in the US, Canada, Russia, and Ukraine. His second short film, the end has also had a long and successful run on the film festival circuit and has screened internationally. Cam has written two feature films currently in development set for him to direct: the 1970's motorcycle road film/crime/thriller - Sitiado and a gritty coming up age (Stand by Me meet Deliverance) drama set in the 1990 Pacific Northwest - Monroe Log. He is also in the early research phase of writing a crime/drama based around Apache gangs in the American southwest. Cam was recently featured in Volume 2 of The Top 100 Independent Filmmakers in the World, now available on Amazon.

1.How did you come to be a director/producer?

Cameron: I actually started as an actor. Then, I co-produced a documentary that ended up doing well and I earned a scholarship to attend the prestigious film program at Art Center College of Design In Pasadena. Besides, I was at a point where I just hated the idea of sort of waiting for someone to choose me. I hated that powerlessness. And I have always loved the whole process of movie-making. Whenever I did work as an actor I was very fascinated and interested by the entire process and I thought that would help me work my own way in without having that hopeless feeling anymore. I hoped I could mix the best of both worlds. And that’s how I got into it initially.

2. What qualities do you look for when hiring a composer for your project? Is there one quality or thing that will get you to consider someone more than others?

Cameron: It might sound like a strange answer, but since I am not a musician myself, all I can do is to abstractly describe feelings, moods, atmospheres; my musical vocabulary is limited. That’s how I would describe things anyway, even to actors. When I talk to a composer I would try to explain what I am looking for that way and if they could get what I am going after from just my description- that’s huge. I think it’s a difficult thing to understand. It’s like going to a hairdresser and you sit down and say: “I don’t know..I just want to look good.” If I can talk to a composer and stumble around just like I am doing now trying to describe the concept of the story and what I am trying to make it feel, and they can come back with something (and it does not have to be perfect, we can make adjustments) and really get it.. It’s not necessarily listening to the composer’s music and going: “Great!” It’s more about their ability to understand what I am trying to go for in a story: the mood, the feeling rather than a rational idea. A composer who is technically great and talented might not be enough. Someone with a sensitive soul would be a better fit.

3. In your opinion, is it more important for a composer to have a unique musical voice consistent in all of their work? Or is it important for the composer to have a broad range of compositional ability to draw from so they will likely be able to adapt to what the project needs stylistically in any given scene / scenario?

Cameron: I would lean towards the former than the latter. I think a lot of people can be very technically proficient doing a lot of different things, but people who have their own specific life experience and their unique background bring something very special to the table, that no one else can do, maybe. And I am more attracted to that. It’s true for me personally. I would be the same way about an actor. Again, it goes back to communication. If a composer can really get me..I would rather choose that over someone who can sort of do a little bit of everything. I think there is something beautiful about it. It is such a collaboration, there are not a lot of differences between an actor and a composer or anybody else. If you throw these ingredients into the mix, various artists that have that specific background instead of a bunch of technicians that are generally good at a lot of things, I think it’s going to be more colorful, there’s going to be more to it.

4. What do you want to see / hear in a demo cue from a composer? Something custom made for your project? Something from other projects in a composer's past that might be similar? Live recordings? Are MIDI sampled recordings ok? What format do you want any demo material in? (Audio CD, flash drive with audio files, video files so you can see how well the composer scores to picture, etc...)

Cameron: Ideally, it would be great to hear something custom, again, it goes back to this topic: I would like to see if the composer can understand what I am trying to do. Of course, I would be curious about what has been done before to get a feel for things. I will get back to that example again. We are all just collaborators trying to make a movie, we are just pieces of one big puzzle, and we are equal pieces. I hate auditioning actors, I would rather meet people and get a feel for them, I would want to see what they have done before, but it is more about mutual understanding and connection, trying to scope this movies together. To answer your question, ultimately, it would be nice to hear a shot of something that’s for the particular movie. It does not matter that much to me whether it’s live recordings or samples, it’s irrelevant. Video is not necessary, I would even listen to it with my eyes closed, I don’t need to see anything. It is not as important to me as getting that feel. But it’s me, I might be particular.

5. How do you budget for the music in a film? Do you determine score costs ahead of time based on the kind of score you want or is it based on a flat percentage of the film's budget? How do you determine what a composer's involvement is worth on your project?

Cameron: I hate the business aspect of it so much. I see a composer as important as anybody else. The composer is probably the most unrecognized artist in the film business. I think that if the music is good you don't even notice it, oddly enough. It’s similar to editing in this respect, if you do notice it- the editor might be doing something wrong. I just recognize them as being unsung heroes. I don’t know how to budget for it, I’d say it is usually a flat percentage of the film’s budget.

6. What is your opinion on a composer working for little to no monetary compensation (i.e. for free)? Many entertainment industry departments have union representation that sets a minimum pay "standard" for what those jobs cost from week-to-week or day-to-day. But composers do not have and can not unionize by a National Labor Relations Board decision from the early 1980s. Does this affect at all your hiring or budgeting process for music? What is the lowest budget amount you have ever had for music score? What is the highest amount?

Cameron: It’s so messed up. So many of us are asked to work for free and I’ve done it many times, as an actor particularly. The only exception to it if everybody is doing the film for free. I have done short films where everybody was paid next to nothing and the ultimate goal for us was to make something we are proud of to use it as a showcase. But nobody makes money off of short films anyway. If you are making a feature where somebody is going to profit off of it, it is an outrage if you are asked to work for free, everybody should be compensated. What you are doing is worth something and there should be no shame in asking to be compensated, because you are bringing something valuable to the table that no one else can do. And if there is a producer who is going to make a dime off of it, or anybody else, they should share. The lowest budget: I’ll start with zero, which I had to deal with more than once. The highest -is the film I am doing right now that is in the early stages of pre-production. The budget is small- around $1M dollars and I don’t know the exact numbers but it would the same as we would pay to the DP.

7. How do you communicate with your composer regarding the creative process? What can the composer do to make that easier for you as a producer / director?

Cameron: We’ve touched on this a little bit earlier: I can do odd things to try to communicate what it is I want. I would do clips from other movies, paintings, photos, sometimes other music but not usually, because I don’t want that to taint it. Sometimes in my description I’ll make weird sound effects. I can be so abstract and weird about it, I’ll do whatever it takes to describe it - I would even show odd symbols. In some ways I don’t like it to be super literal so that the composer, the artist, could interpret it in his own way. Going back to the actors, as a director, I would never tell an actor how to read the line ( “Do it like this”..) for him to copy that. I would say something more abstract: “Do it more red!” I would want them to interpret the feelings in their own way rather than me being a puppet master. Same with a composer: I would give you a certain feeling, atmosphere and see how that is colored through you. That’s where special stuff comes from. Anybody can imitate but what's the point? I want you to do it because there is something special about you. There is something I want to communicate through the prism of your perception. I am fishing for a surprise. I am not a dictatorial director, I am a collaborative director.

8. Is it a more important perception for a young composer to have credits assisting other "big name" composers on "big name" films even if their jobs and responsibilities on those films were more technical and nondescript like "scoring assistant" or "midi programmer"? Or is it a more important perception for a composer to have a list of feature films where they were the department head "composer" in charge and 100% responsible for music, even if those films were smaller, indie, "festival bound" projects that may not have had mass public appeal?

Cameron: I would definitely lean towards the latter. I would be intrigued if they were mentored by some big-name composers on a big movie that I have respect for, I would definitely be curious to see what they can do. But being involved in a big Hollywood movie does not mean much to me. I think that the pendulum swings back and forth and things change, but right now I am not impressed with Hollywood movies, and there are always exceptions, but right now I think they are in a bad place. There are a lot of movies with guys in capes and tights and that’s fun, I can have fun with it too, I love all kinds of movies, but it’s not what I came in to movies myself to do. I was influenced a lot by the stuff from the 70’s that was a whole different ball game. The films were much smaller and centered on people. I would be drawn to something that is more personal on a smaller level then something more peripheral on a bigger scale.

9. Have you ever had a bad experience with a composer? Did you learn anything from that? Has it affected how you work with a composer since?

Cameron: I haven’t. I’ve had experiences where on the first try or two, after I have done my best, probably clumsily, to communicate what I was going for, I ended up really having misses. And I felt a little bit frustrated, feeling that it was going to be tough, but we got there eventually. I think, if I had a really bad experience with someone, it would be more my fault then theirs. I think it would be my failure to communicate what I was trying to do, it would be my responsibility. I remember it was over the phone, the composer was in New York. I did not show any examples. The music that I wanted did not have anything to do with real instruments, it was more atmospheric. I tried to give him mood and imitate the sound with my mouth. As a result, I was frustrated with myself since I failed to communicate what I wanted.

10. From your perspective as a producer / director, what is the one piece of advice you would give a young composer working to build their career in this industry?

Cameron: I think it’s difficult and even unfair, with some rare exceptions, for a young artist to have a lot of expectations thrust upon them, whether it’s from themselves or the outside world, because it is hard to really give everything that you are capable to offer until you really know yourself. It often comes with time, unfortunately, with a little bit of age and life experience, and exposure to life. So, give yourself a chance, be patient and kind to yourself and allow yourself to experience everything life has to offer, including the stuff that’s painful; take it as a gift, use it. Don’t put a timeline on yourself, live your life, don’t put a bubble around yourself: “I am a composer, a musician, all I’m going to do is write music”. Allow yourself to be exposed to life, try to really live it, don’t isolate yourself, let everything in life color you and color your work. Never quit, have faith that when you are ready the time will come.

I have had nothing but composers contact me over the years. I don’t mind it, I actually look at their stuff and listen to it. I understand it’s a hustle, I have done it as an actor. I think it’s smart, because you know what, I will go back; I am doing a feature early next year and these guys that are emailing me are on my mind. I’ll listen to their stuff first before I do any search. I think there’s value in that. You have to be smart about it, of course, don’t email me every week.

And lastly, own what’s special about you and don’t try to be everything. Figure out who you are and really own and market that rather than trying to be like everyone else.

#interview #conversation #blog #film composer #director #filmmaker #Cameron McHarg

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sol1056 · 6 years

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I've just read that word of god post you've reblogged and i agree that if it's not in the canon then it's not in the story. but what is the canon exactly? if we take vld as an example, can the extra materials like the guide books or interviews be considered canon when they give us information that is never talked about in the source material, that is in the show itself?

Canon, at its simplest, is “what the community consider the official record.” Its ‘things recognized as authentic,’ and by extension also ‘a standard by which something is judged [as genuine]’. Frex, to say ‘this album is modern jazz’ requires comparing the music to the modern jazz canon.

For fiction, canon applies the idea of an ‘official record’ to the story itself. The purpose is to delineate the ‘actual’ (genuine) story, and the standards by which new stories (sequels, spin-offs, etc) become canon. The common standards tend to be: who created it and/or was involved, form of distribution (ie official channels), and how widespread it was. Frex, a song played once in a small club in Chicago and never recorded would probably not be considered part of the ‘canon’ of modern jazz (that is, would not be used as the ‘standard’ by which newer works could be judged, because the work is too obscure).

That brings us to the next level (and often the most fiercely debated): which texts are deuterocanonical. It’s a fifty-cent word but it’s exactly the word we need, here. It means ‘secondary canon’ and it’s texts that could be canon but fell short by some measure. Different author (or ghostwritten), written years later or years earlier, retcons everything, completely different story but with cameo of canon character, and so on.

Adaptations are often deuterocanonical: a book to a movie, a movie to a TV series, a TV series to graphic novels. Each media has different storytelling conventions, so the story changes, and if you were a fan of the ‘real’ story, you might see the adaptation as just a shade too different. Plenty of fans of the Fullmetal Alchemist manga see the first anime (which diverged wildly) as a secondary canon — interesting, but not crucial; fewer say the same of the second anime, which was much more faithful.

Continuations also tend to be deuterocanonical, especially when the media changes. If your intro to a fandom includes the warning that everyone ignores a certain continuation, sequel, or spin-off, the community may have decided the later works are a secondary canon. This dismissal comes with the usual flamewars, at least until the fandom agrees to disagree.

Best criteria is whether parallel or subsequent stories impact or develop the ‘main’ story. Agents of SHIELD is a spin-off of the Avengers movie series, and it pivots mid-story due to movie events. The TV show may be deuterocanonical for movie fans, but the movies are canonical for TV show fans, because those stories have significant impact on the events in the TV show’s storyline.

And then we get to words about the story: meta. Tolkien’s estate has published his drafts and notes; these books satisfy canon per authenticity (written by Tolkien), and stamped as official by the estate. You don’t have to read every rough draft to get the final version, so Tolkien’s notes aren’t really primary canon, but they probably would be considered deuterocanonical.

The same doesn’t apply when it’s just anyone writing meta, even a published Field Guide or Annotated Glossary — a fancier and footnoted version of the same kind of meta fans have always written on their favorite works. No matter how well-researched, that third-party meta is not canon, no matter who wrote it or where it was published.

And then we get to word-of-god, however it’s relayed (panel quotes, interviews, tweets, blog posts, etc). Word-of-god, like handbooks and marketing material, are not the story; it’s talk about the story. It’s meta, and as such it can never be more than – at best – secondary canon, and even then under limited circumstances.

The next thing to consider in word-of-god is: who’s the god, here? It’s easy enough with Tolkien, Rowling, Kipling, Austin, any one-author work where one voice did the bulk of shaping the ideas and words and story. It’s another matter when we get into multi-creator, collaborative stories like movies, television shows, even stage plays or dance where the work passes through multiple hands on the way to becoming a final product.

If the actor chose to read those lines as though the character were in love, that has an impact on your experience of the story. Is it enough of an impact? Does that make the actor right to say, “this character is in love”? Does the actor have that authority? Or an executive producer who didn’t write the script, direct the episode, voice any of the lines, storyboard any scenes, or animate any frames? How do we measure the contribution of ‘enabling others to create’ to determine whether word-of-god applies? What about a story editor whose outline was informed entirely by exec notes? Can we say the writer of a particular episode even has word-of-god authority, if every line was altered by the actors to a smaller or larger degree?

Beyond that — and this applies from one-author texts up to multi-season series with a production staff in the hundreds — we cannot assume the author (if there is a single identifiable hand in the story) actually knows the story they’ve written. We writers can tell you what we meant to write, and what we wanted to write, but what we ended up with isn’t always where we’d planned to be. Hell, sometimes we don’t see the themes until a long time after the work is written, the same way we don’t always see where the story’s failed on other counts (representation, gender, cliches, plot holes, etc).

I could add a lot of words, but here I’m just going to quote some of TV Tropes at you, since the entry does a good job of covering all the bases.

A number of people reject [word-of-god]… If the creator had wanted a certain fact to be canon, the thinking goes, they should have included it in the work to begin with. [Others] go even further, considering the uncertainty and ambiguity of canon to be a good thing… Wimsatt and Beardsley’s “The Intentional Fallacy” and Barthes’ Death of the Author essay both argue that the interpretation of a work cannot be limited to attempts to discern the “author’s intentions.”

Another thorny issue is … collaborators may not actually agree with interpretations of their story that weren’t made explicit in the work. This is especially likely if they no longer work together, and particularly if they had a real-life falling out. In this case, there are multiple “Gods” given potentially contradictory explanations, so whose word is to be considered correct?

If a story requires the author pop up to explain each scene in some nightmarish reverse-MST3K scenario, then the story has failed. Point blank, full stop, do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars. The story has failed.

But let’s pretend the story is fine, and you just can’t take lying awake at night wondering about that damn watermelon. There’s a place and time for creator explanations; easter eggs (like in-jokes and homages) definitely count, and can be a lot of fun. There’s nothing wrong with word-of-god, after all, so long as it’s taken in moderation. In the end, it’s just a slightly more knowledgeable voice, but never let it drown out your voice or your experience.

Ultimately, this incessant emphasis on word-of-god has two sources.

One is the current penchant for throwing wild swerves as a way to combat audience boredom. These get called ‘plot twists’ but in the hands of less-skilled creators, they’re just cheap shocks. Pushed too far, they’ll break the story. Groundwork and foreshadowing are left off the page or screen for fear the audience will ‘figure it out’ too soon, and the result is an audience struggling to make sense of the quagmire. Word-of-god doesn’t fix the story, but it can at least provide closure. You know why the watermelon was there, and you can move on to obsess about something else.

The other source is our immediate and seeming direct access to a lot of creators: writers, directors, storyboard artists, voice actors, producers, all up and down the line. We could sit down and think hard about the story (if the story isn’t so broken that’s moot, at least), or we could just tweet or blog or tag a creator and ask. Or hope someone asks our question at a panel, or a podcast, or some other interview. Why bother with meta, when you can get a slightly more-informed meta from someone who looks like an authority?

Hey, authors have been getting questions from readers since Lady Murasaki sat down to write. No, the real issue are creators who’ve come to crave (and encourage) the audience asking how to interpret the story. It’s a pretty heady thing, getting that kind of attention, and it can get away from you really fast. What began as a simple question about indestructible fruit becomes an ongoing interpretative dance by the author on behalf of the work.

It’s flattering to have the audience clamoring for your words, but… it’s not about you, as the creator. It’s about the story. A creator needs to step back and let the story do the talking. The sooner some creators remember that, the sooner some fandoms will calm the fsck down.

Primary or secondary canon, word-of-god or radio silence; in the end, the story’s got to stand on its own. If it can’t do that, no amount of explanation in the world will prop the story back up again.

#canon vs fanon #writing #sol thinks about stuff #vld #voltron

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thedeaditeslayer · 6 years

Photo

Bruce Campbell Talks Life After Ash And Much More In An Interview.

Bruce Campbell, that’s a name every horror fan knows. The writer/actor/director/producer has been involved in so many iconic films and series. One of the jewels in his crown is The Evil Dead franchise in which he plays the unforgettable character Ashley “Ash” Williams.

His “Ash vs Evil Dead” series premiered back in 2015 on Starz, giving us three seasons of Ash, along with his deadite fighting sidekicks Kelly (Dana DeLorenzo) and Pablo (Ray Santiago) as well as the sometimes evil Ruby (Lucy Lawless).

Fans were heartbroken to learn earlier this year that “Ash vs Evil Dead” wouldn’t return for a fourth season. Soon Bruce announced that Ash had been permanently retired, leaving fans to wonder what was next for the one of a kind, suave, badass.

When I had the opportunity to talk with Bruce I jumped at the chance (and with excitement) to find out what is next for our favorite leading man and ask a few questions that I’ve always wanted to know the answer to.

Horror Fuel: “Among other things, Ash is known for his one-liners, what is your favorite?

Bruce Campbell: “I don’t have one, I leave that up to the pundits. I kind of like one from Evil Dead 2, there’s a demon going ‘I’ll swallow your soul’, and goes ‘swallow this’ and he blows it up with a shotgun. That one I made up, I’m happy with that one. Ash is full of them. Ash vs Evil Dead gave us three new years worth of one-liners. I can’t remember half of them.”

Horror Fuel: “That is a great scene. I really enjoyed Ash vs Evil Dead. Is it true that they used a dead chicken for some of the sound effects in Evil Dead?”

Bruce Campbell: “It was a dead, raw, store-bought chicken. They needed like a fleshy sound. It wasn’t a live chicken that we killed. It left a smelly residual in the studio after a while because it was there for a couple of days. It got a little gnarly. That’s why I wrote a book about it to dispell any myths. In my first Chin Book, I wrote all about the Evil Dead and dispelled any rumors.

Horror Fuel: “Not long after the series ended you announced that you were retiring Ash, How do you feel about that decision now?”

Bruce Campbell: “I retired him so why would I feel bad about it? I feel great about it. It was time. No more dicking around. I don’t want to tease fans anymore. They’ve been teased and tormented for a long time. They wanted more Evil Dead, we gave them thirty episodes, fifteen more hours of the character. Basically, you know what it’s all I got. There is no more I can give the character physically, or mentally, or spiritually. I left it all on the table. The last season almost killed me, to tell the truth. These are difficult shows and movies to make. I’m sixty now. I’m like hey, let’s stop doing this before it gets embarrassing. Ash is supposed to have some physical skills and I’m already declining. Let’s get out before the wheelchair.”

Horror Fuel: “I respect that, I really do. Ash has always been a very physical character. He’s constantly fighting something. I respect that you retired him while he’s still on top.”

Bruce Campbell: “With actors, there is an expiration date. Their eyes go. You can’t hear anymore because of explosions. They’ve got random injuries. There is a perception I think that actors are carried around on a pillow.

Just look at Brandon Frazer, in an interview not long ago they were like ‘What happened to you?’ He was like, ‘What do you mean what happened to me? I got the shit beat out of me making these dumb action movies for years.’ He’s not a little guy, so when he bashed into stuff, that shit’s gonna leave a mark.

That was one of the motivations for retiring Ash. I think that we wrapped it up. We took care of the character. We brought him back fully fleshed him out, used our new skills when presenting that character to the world. Boom, now I can say I’m done. And I’m fully done.”

Horror Fuel: “I understand. He was such a physical character. He was never a character to just show up and just talk, there was always a fight.”

Bruce Campbell: “I would long for those days. In three years of Ash vs Evil Dead, there were probably two scenes where Ash just talked. Normally, when he talked boom, a demon would pop up. So, I’m longing for that type of gig, where I can sit in a room talking.”

Horror Fuel: “Besides Ash, what has been your favorite role to date?”

Bruce Campbell: “I have about a handful, Brisco, Autolycus in Hercules and Xena was fun, Bubba Ho-Tep was fun, a couple of random things. I’ve done some fun ones.”

Horror Fuel: “You’ve been great in so many roles. I loved you as Elvis in Bubba Ho-Tep. You do a mean Elvis impression. I know a lot of fans wonder if we’ll ever see a sequel to Bubba Ho-Tep.”

Bruce Campbell: “No. I’ve already told Don Coscarelli and Joe Lansdale no. I’m out. I’m done with that character too. I thought that the movie was very special. I didn’t care for subsequent scripts. I just pulled out of it. Just let that one be, it’s a little gem of a movie.”

Horror Fuel: “Sometimes sequels can be a bad thing.”

Bruce Campbell: “Sequels can ruin movies sometimes. All you remember is the shitty sequel.”

Horror Fuel: “Can you tell us anything about your role as Gary in the upcoming series Lodge 49?”

Bruce Campbell: “It’s a great part. I was finishing a book tour last year – it started in August and I did thirty-five cities, for my third book. At the end of a book tour you’re throwing up blood, you don’t know what your name is. I was going down to Florida for my last book signing in Tampa. Paul Giamatti contacts me and says ‘Dude you’ve got to play this part. I haven’t been talking to anybody else, I’m not auditioning anybody. You have to do it.” I wasn’t prepared to do anything except sleep for a week. I read the script and it was three episodes for this show Lodge 49. I was like ‘Oh shit. He’s right, I have to do this. So against my better judgment, I went back up to Atlanta. Hopefully, it came out nice. I don’t think my episodes come out until next year.”

Horror Fuel: “We’ll be watching.”

Bruce Campbell: “It’s such a great part.”

Horror Fuel: “Sam Raimi is working on a project with short films. Will you be involved?”

Bruce Campbell: “I don’t know. Sam and I had a fun little excursion recently, but I don’t know. I don’t have any plans to do that but never say never. Sam’s my homie. It’s always fun to be in his stuff.”

Horror Fuel: “You mentioned your books a few minutes ago, any chance we will get another one?”

Bruce Campbell: “I’m working on a new deal with my publisher right now. I’m going to tour and hopefully do twenty cities in 2020 for the new book.”

Horror Fuel: “By any chance can you reveal the title?”

Bruce Campbell: “I can, but I won’t. Things like that can change, then people go ‘[changes voice] What happened to that book Flight of the Pheonix?” No, now it’s named Death Wish 3000. Sometimes titles change.”

Horror Fuel: ” Oh, okay. [laughter] I can’t wait to check it out.”

Bruce Campbell: “It’s part of the new chapter in my life. The new non-Ash chapter of my life, more homegrown material, I want to write new stuff. Over the years I’ve developed a lot of stuff. A dozen different projects, books, movies, TV shows. The other day my wife was like ‘If we don’t start doing this now when are we going to do it? You’re sixty, you’re old.’ That’s the thought behind that.

As far as writing, it’s the most gratifying work I’ve ever done, more than movies. You make a million dollar movie there is a lot of opinions and ideas. Make a really expensive movie there are even more people with opinions, and ideas, and demands. The creative process gets horribly worn down. In the book world, I’ve got one guy, my editor, who reads stuff and gives me feedback. That’s it, one guy. I like that world. The last book I put out, good or bad, it’s a bestseller. We got to number eight. It’s the book I wanted to put out about ninety-eight percent. You make a movie, you’re lucky to get thirty percent of the shit that you like before somebody gets it. A lot of the time in a movie, if you’re a director, you turn it over to the producer and you never see it again. They could cut it into a musical if they want to. People talk about how creative movies are, they’re okay, but being creatively satisfying, nah. They are not that creatively satisfying because they go through so many processes of approval because they cost so much money. It’s much more of a pure artistic experience with writing, I’ll tell you that.”

Horror Fuel: “What type of writing will you be doing? Will there be more books like your previous ones?”

Bruce Campbell: “There will be everything, fiction, nonfiction. It’s fun to mix it up. Then there are movies, I’ve got a couple of scripts, some for TV shows too. Act three has begun.

Horror Fuel: “I can’t wait to see your third act. If they are anything like your first two they’ll be epic. Are you working on any other roles right now?”

Bruce Campbell: “There’s plenty of stuff. Right now I’m working on Tangled, the Disney cartoon. They are doing a TV show. I’m playing the king.”

Horror Fuel: “Hail to the King, baby.”

Bruce Campbell: “It’s fun to do voice stuff. There’s an Evil Dead video game coming too. There will be more of that. There are things that are there and that will happen, but aren’t worth talking about yet.

In the meantime, I’m doing my game show Last Fan Standing. We’ve got about half a dozen events coming up, everywhere from Berkeley, California to Denver. I’m doing this game show for geeks, Last Fan Standing. I’m in the game show phase of my career now [laughter]. It’s keeping me busy and I’m still doing conventions as well.”

Horror Fuel: That sounds fun. What’s your next stop and where can fans find your convention schedule?”

Bruce Campbell: “Horror Hound, but I have a website. Anybody can always go there.”

Horror Fuel: “If you could go back and give your younger self some advice, what would it be?”

Bruce Campbell: “I don’t take advice and I try not to give advice because it’s so meaningless. Even if I did tell my younger self I think I still would have done my own damn thing anyway. The film business is so topsy-turvy. It’s a strange world. There’s no advice that really holds any water. The best advice I would tell any actor is that no one is going to do anything for you.

Thank god for Twitter. Thank god for Facebook. That’s your way of saying hey to the world. Think you got talent? Make a video and put it on YouTube, start your own YouTube channel. There’s really no excuse for people to not get their stuff seen. Back in my day, before social media, how the hell would they know who you are? If it wasn’t in newspapers or magazines no one would see it when I started. Now you can go into your backyard and make a dumb movie and put it on YouTube or Twitter. It’s easier now for people to sell their wares. But you know what, at the end of the day, show me a lazy person and I’ll show you someone who is going to fail. It’s that simple. If you’re a lazy actor don’t come crying to me. There are always ways that you can get out there. You want to act? Call your local community theater and find out when they are doing Little Abner and go audition. How hard is that? It’s not that big of a deal.

On social media, there are certain topics that you just don’t touch. These days you can lose half your fans with just one Tweet. These days you can lose your whole career with just one Tweet. You have to be careful man. Don’t be drunk Tweeting or Ambien Tweeting. There’s your advice, beware of social media.”

Horror Fuel: “That makes a lot of sense. We’ve seen a lot of people in the news lately who have gotten in trouble over Tweets. ”

While you’re waiting for Bruce Campbell’s next film, series or book, be sure to check out the long list of his past work, including his books which are best described as “groovy”.

Follow Bruce on Facebook and Twitter. Stay up to date on all of his projects and to learn more about “Last Fan Standing” please visit his official website, where you can also find the schedule of his upcoming appearances and so much more. Meet the legend himself at the Fandemic Comic-Con running September 14th through the 16th in Houston, Texas (get your tickets HERE).

Don’t miss Bruce in “Lodge 49” premiering on AMC on August 6, 2018.

#Bruce Campbell #Ash vs. Evil Dead #Ash vs Evil Dead

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