#sometimes i go into the anti tag to see if anyone actually makes a valid point. I've yet to find one

[constantvariations]

I genuinely cannot fathom why so many people are willing to bend over backwards to defend rwby so much, some even going so far as to stalk and harass anyone with the mildest criticism

And they always do it with this smarmy smugness of "I'm better than you because I'm upholding demographics x, y, and z while you worship a white man" like?? It's not activism to like a show nor does disliking a show equate to bigotry. I'm not racist for disliking Blackish nor am I an ally for liking Get Out. That's not how this works

I'm starting to think they're just addicted to feeling superior to others no matter how contrived. That's why they keep coming back to the tag to spew the same dogshit insults: they need that rush of attention and self-validation. It's why the anti tag is such a flaccid echo chamber of people pointing and laughing at out-of-context screenshots or whiny ho-hums about rwde's existence. It's a meaningless circlejerk meant to stimulate the ego instead of the intellect

[sophieinwonderland]

Found a Hate Blog in The #Plural Tag. 😮‍💨

As I covered recently, "Plural" is an inclusive word with origins in endogenic and non-disordered systems.

If any anti-endo posts in the "#plural" tag or other inclusive tags, don't expect your DNIs to be respected.

They also are doing this knowingly. People have already tried to contact them about using the inclusive plural tag and the hate blog has stubbornly refused.

So if they're going to post in inclusive tags, I figured I might as well respond to some of their vent posts in anti-endo tags. As always, if anti-endos have a problem with this or feel boundaries are being unfairly crossed, please take it up with the hate blog I'm responding to that's invading our spaces.

Also, really weird how they just jump straight into saying "pro-endos" aren't systems either. Hate to break it to you, but there are a lot of traumagenic DID systems whose disorders and trauma are just valid as yours. And they manage to not be bigots too!

Wait... are they claiming that ALL dissociation can only be caused by trauma?

Although previous research has implicated a history of childhood trauma in the development of dissociative tendencies, insufficient cognizance (in this context) has been taken of the distinction between pathological and nonpathological dissociation. In this study, the relationship between childhood trauma and both pathological and nonpathological dissociation was investigated in a sample of 100 Australian adults. Pathological dissociation was positively predicted by dimensions of childhood trauma, but no such relationship was found for nonpathological dissociation (psychological absorption). The data are consistent with the traumagenic model of the dissociative disorders, but factors other than childhood trauma may also be pertinent.

Amazing how they compare us with anti-vaxxers while trying to claim all dissociation is traumagenic. This wasn't even hard to find. 🙄

"I don't care about any morals"

Well, at least you're up front about it.

Also, I tend to check the DID tags every now and then and you know what I don't see there? Endogenic systems!

"#Endo Safe" tags are more often than not used by pro-endo traumagenic systems.

Guess what! If you have DID, you get to post in the DID tags. Being a hateful bigot isn't a requirement! Anyone with DID has the right to post in the DID tags, and can tag their post as endo safe too!

Maybe you wouldn't get as many anons from endogenic systems if you stop posting in inclusive tags. Just a thought!

How are they harmful to the community again?

Weren't you just saying earlier that pro-endos were stealing resources? Now you're acknowledging that they're making resources for the community, but this is also bad?

LOL!

Genic labels literally only exist because of the pro-endo community. And the anti-endo community notoriously hates xeno-origins like NPD-genic. Yes, people will assume you're endo-safe when you use xeno-origins because these terms, like most resources in the plural community, were made by pro-endos.

Keep it up guys! It's working! We're spreading!

Sorry, I don't feel like rebutting anything here. I just appreciate seeing that our efforts are paying off!

The Future is Plural! 😁

Stop!

This talking point has been completely debunked.

System hopping was used by pro-endos 15 years before the earliest association with RAMCOA. The idea that it was a RAMCOA term is a total lie invented by anti-endos!

OSDD-1A and OSDD-1B are not actually official disorders. There is an OSDD. The first example, called OSDD-1 sometimes, gives two possible presentations. One with less distinct alters and amnesia, and another with no amnesia. But these aren't called OSDD-1a or OSDD-1b.

If your goal is education, this nuance is important.

Could it be because ASPEC people have dealt with a ton of exclusionism from some queer communities, and are more accepting of other people as a result? And perhaps they also recognize similarities between system exclusionists and queer exclusionists?

You're coming and posting in our tags!

That's why people keep interacting with you! "Plural" is a term coined by non-disordered systems, you've been told this, and you insist on posting in inclusive tags anyway!

You don't get to bust in someone's door, complain about them in their home, and then tell them not to interact with you! It doesn't work like that!

Funny how these are the only sources they can provide. And they exclusively deal with DID without even touching on other forms of plurality.

Anyway...

The ICD-11 says you can experience "multiple distinct personality states" without a dissociative disorder.

The creators of the theory of structural dissociation have said hypnosis and mediumship may involve self-conscious dissociative parts of the personality.

And Transgender Mental Health, written by Eric Yarbrough and published by the American Psychiatric Association (who publishes the DSM) says you can be plural without trauma or a disorder.

Sources repeatedly affirm that it's possible to be plural without trauma!

Anyone who claims it's impossible to be plural without trauma is either ignorant or lying.

And if you're going to keep spreading hate and misinformation, at least keep it out of inclusive tags!

[opinated-user]

i'm going to ignore for a second how LO has shown that she's just as gender essentialist as any other terf, in both her own works of fiction as in reality, or that she has even defended a radical feminist that SWERF use as their foundation for their nonsense. those things do contribute to the why i call out LO as terf adjacent, but let's put them aside for a moment. why do people call you a terf when you're a queerphobe or when you generally treat queer people as the enemy to take down? because terfs are the one weaponizing queerphobia in a real world sense.

this picture was used as an illustrative example of "lesbian being pressured by trans woman to have sex", in this infamous articles from the BBC: https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-57853385 terfs are currently using queerphobia as another way to create division in the whole community. once they have managed to convince enough people that queer should be erased, who do you think is going to be next? but not everyone is from the UK in the first place, which would be a moot point to make because do you think terfs care about that? they only see you legitimatizing their position that nobody ever should be called queer, that queer is a bad word to use, that the people who call themselves and their community queer are bad selfish people who want to force you into accepting their identity. it doesn't matter if you're from the US, Canada or any other place, they'll use that as further proof that they're right and that other people who also "force them" to accept their identity are equally as bad and should also be erased. take a guess as to who that could be refering to. as a sidenote... do you really think the UK is the only place in earth with terfs? it's where they're the most prominent and have the most political power, that much is true, but terfs exist everywhere and sometimes they do get to have an impact if given the chance. why do you all think there has been an increasing number of anti trans law in usa? why do some states have outright banned drag performances? let me be clear about this. not being queer is fine. don't wanting to be called queer is fine. correcting people who call you, you individually, the person, queer is totally valid. as long you respect the right of queer people to exist and understand our need to have our own queer community, because we'll always have that as human beings that we're, we can all coexist no problem. but queerphobes like LO don't do that and it's disgusting to even pretend so. she has made post after post about how we, queer people, are self hating morons who are beneath her. she has told anons writing to her about how they should change the name of their identity. she has actually said that "people who reclaim queer should choke". she has made an entire video full of misinformation with the express purpose of convince people in general that they should never use queer, ever, and comparing the people who do with the most hateful horrible kind of people you can meet. i have a whole tag called "lily orchard is a queerphobe" because she has done this so frequently, so blatantly and so obviously that i'm actually baffled that she thinks she's foolling everyone by reducing her hatred for us as simply "don't liking to be called that word." anyone can visit that tag and see that it goes a lot harder than that. i don't know OP, but if all they ever said was that they don't want to be associated with that word because of personal negative experience with it and never said anything about queer people as a group or as a community, then yes, it would be wrong to immediately call them a terf on that basis alone. that's not the case of LO, as i argued above. she might not be exactly the same as a terf... but does she ever make their work a little easier by normalizing their ideas.

[thequeenofmyownscreen]

Seventeen things I noted about CR2E127 “Sarsaparilla, Licorice, and Red Hot” and the Talks Machina about it :

Sam's ad, basically : Does anyone want to shoot me with a NERF gun or-- ? Ashley, not even waiting for the rest, grabbing the gun and going at it : YES

Caleb : "The odds of them doing it in the dining hall is... one in nine." Marisha, silently validating the odds, makes a 'yeah pretty much' gesture ; it cracked me up.

Oh shit, they're going to break into the Vergessen Sanatorium for the anti-scrying necklaces ?? IT'S A HEIST I LOVE HEISTS !

Oh, I was wondering where the title of the episode came from. I should have known, the cast does love a good safe word !

Hahaha, the "just got laid" modifier should exist !

I love that Marisha was FREAKING OUT at the one sleeping guard that she did not account for when going up the tower.

Wow, this is going south fast. While Jester charming the guard was clever and 100% her, they are leaving traces galore, and that was before Caleb overkilled it with that other guard.

Also the image of Beau preparing a dagger and 2 vials of acid behind the sleeping guard is dark, I love it so much. I feel like I felt that episode where they stole a pirate boat by accident.

Jester, hiding the tears in her eyes because she's hearing her friend murder everyone in the room but she's still talking to the charmed guard :"Yeah, they just like to have some fun sometimes..." I'm glad everyone is going with the fucked-up atmosphere.

Oh, wow, Beau, that was horrifying. I laughed so much, they were just so horrified and amused by the acid plan that took wayyyyy too long to kill the poor guy !

My thoughts at the end : "TRENT'S COMING, get the fuck out you guys !! get out get out get out get out get out get out GET OUT !!!"

Trent, you piece of shit

Tag yourself at the end of the episode, I'm all of them including Matt :

Ashley betrays us all when she says she actually like Sam's mustache.

Marisha saying that she's also taking notes in real life, if people mention something they like, that way she can have great ideas for gifts at anniversaries or parties ; and this is why she's my favorite. I do the same thing. NOTES !!!

Marisha talking about the Zeenoth thing, and how important it was to see a retribution in this way for a thing an abuser has done (while in this shitty world many many times nothing happens) was so powerful : "There's not many examples, in media, of abusers getting handled. Especially in a way that's not used as some sort of a device to make you feel for the character that this is happening to. 90% of the time, if you see abuse on screen, it's because it's being used as a device to motivate somebody, or drive this character... I cannot think of a single example where people believing the victim, looked into it, and then handled it, all without really involving the character." It's jarring to hear, especially knowing she herself has been a victim of sexual harassment once (go watch Between the Sheets).

Marisha describing Dani "cheating on her with Kyle" for the sweet sweet deets of whose character made out with whom was so fucking funny

[mercyburned-aa]

KNOWING YOUR PARTNER WELL CAN POTENTIALLY MAKE WRITING TOGETHER A LOT EASIER. ( REPOST DO NOT REBLOG ! ) 

✿ NAME:    Lori

✿ PRONOUNS:    she / her only, please.

✿ PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION:  tumblr IMs or discord.

✿ NAME OF MUSE(S):  i write quite a few lmao but my main one rn is probably byleth eisner

✿ EXPERIENCE/HOW LONG (MONTHS / YEARS?):  i’m fucking old and i have been roleplaying in some form since, like, 2001.

✿ PLATFORMS YOU’VE USED:    AOL, forums, livejournal, greatestjournal, insanejournal, discord, tumblr

✿ BEST EXPERIENCE:   meeting my friends!  but also when i became irl friends with one of my partners and i drove up to her house two christmases in a row since it was only a few hours away.

✿ RP PET PEEVES/DEALBREAKERS:  whew uh, being too high maintenance?  you know how sometimes you can just take one look at sb’s rules or ooc posts and go.. huh.  i am not sure if we’d get along.  but also like, people who take rp too seriously, or who take fandom too seriously in general.  we all have opinions and no one’s is more or less valid than anyone else’s, but i’ve seen some people start posting untagged character hate and basically, if i just get a sense of existential exhaustion every time i see your url... that ain’t it.  not everyone will get along or agree and that’s fine, i don’t care, we don’t have to have the same favorites or opinions.  but common courtesy in tagging negativity / anti posts, and being mindful and respectful towards each other despite differences in opinion, is just non-negotiable for me.

✿ FLUFF, ANGST OR SMUT:   i like them all.  i’m very sex-positive and smut-positive so as long as the muses get along or have the right chemistry, i’m probably down?  lmao.  i like fluff mixed in with other things too -- angst is always good, but angst for the sake of whump is a bit much for me.  i’ve found i do best with angst though because i consider so many different things as able to fall into this category - sometimes it’s just the conflict within the plot itself.

✿ PLOTS OR MEMES:  memes are fun but i like them better with some context?  i like plotting and i do better with my threads when there’s actually plotting involved.  i am not usually good at winging it, especially with new writing partners.

✿ LONG OR SHORT REPLIES:     it really depends, some threads don’t need really long replies and the length becomes a hindrance.  other threads need the development to add depth to it and keep things moving.  i’m more focused on the content itself.

✿ BEST TIME TO WRITE:  whenever the mood punches me in the face

✿ ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S):  i have many muses....probably

tagged by: @yakshiaos (tysm!!!) tagging: you.  i am tagging you.  yes, you, reading this.

[huntingpeople-savingsam]

Euphoria

It’s obviously never a competition when it comes to trauma and living through horrible experiences. But there is a point where you have to take a step back and recognize the differences and how some things are just not fucking comparable.

This is not an anti post for C*ssie but I will tag it as such because it’s a criticism which some people take as hating or being an anti of the character. The only character in this situation I’m honestly truly an anti of is motherfucking N*te J*cobs.

But I’m so beyond tired of seeing people defending C*ssie’s actions because of her trauma and how N*te is a manipulative fuck but they attack, belittle, and write off Rue’s ongoing trauma and addiction. Both girls have had terrible past experiences and are currently both going through a lot, and while it’s not a competition for who has it worse because both are obviously struggling, there is an ENORMOUS difference.

Rue has been treating her friends and loved ones badly and lashing out because she is struggling with addiction and that is something that takes over every aspect of your life, that is not an exaggeration. It’s not an excuse, it’s the literal reason for how badly she’s been treating her loved ones. Of course it’s horrible to her loved ones too! But as we continue to see, Rue is remorseful and she doesn’t want to be doing this to the people around her. Opioid addiction is a horrible horrible disease that puts you through so much physical pain that you would do anything to make it stop or to push away anyone who might stop you from getting what you need. It’s horrible and I’m not saying Rue hasn’t hurt people, but this is something that has reached a point that its out of her control.

Now C*ssie is in a situation where she has a history of seeking validation and affection from men because of how terribly her father was. This was exacerbated by her becoming pregnant in S1 and fantasizing about carrying out the pregnancy but ultimately not and then not being supported by the father while she goes through something that’s difficult and painful to go through even when you know it’s the right thing to do.

But the difference here is that I know she’s in a situation where she has made herself believe that N*te was horrible to Maddy but that he actually loves her so it will be different. And she has been doing everything to be with him, cutting herself off from everyone around her. And while N*te is a manipulative fuck and she desperately needs the affection and attention he seems like he’ll give to her, it is not something she will go through literal withdrawal and potential death without.

Is it a horribly difficult and complicated situation for her? Yes! Does she deserve the love and support of those around her to get through her desperate need for love and validation? Yes! But is she still accountable for knowing that she was hurting Maddy and for throwing Rue’s addiction in her face to deflect? YES.

Both girls are struggling immensely this season and need support. But Rue doing what drug addiction forces you to do, and then showing remorse and knowing how she’s been hurting others is a lot different than C*ssie convincing herself that she’s done nothing wrong.

My hope for the end of this season is that C*ssie breaks free from this sack of shit, owns up to her part in hurting Maddy and Rue, and gets support in learning to love herself and be less dependent on male validation. And I hope that Rue is able to get clean but again, that is a constant battle for the rest of her life, it gets easier sometimes and harder other times.

But I’m tired of seeing people trash Rue and call her a dr*g add*ct in such a derogatory way. It’s a disease and it goes along with the problems she’s had with her mental health since she was a child. Writing off someone struggling with addiction is about as vile as it gets. Of course I want C*ssie to get the love and help she deserves too but I’m tired of people saying she has it so much worse than Rue because that’s just a blatant disregard or just ignorance on the horrible beast of addiction.

[bookofmirth]

I saw your recent response to an anon where you mentioned the drama that occurred the other day based around bookprofessor’s post. Obviously you don’t have to respond to this or publish it if you do not wish but I just wanted to bring up that while it is important to focus on the real life issues at hand, the OP was hypocritical in her post which is why people were getting upset. She was preaching against ableism while simultaneously flaunting her IQ and degree which is a form of ableism. She was speaking out against racism while ending her post using the racial slur “cracker” when talking about the possibly Caucasian Twitter elriels.

Obviously she had some important points but it was completely overshadowed by her participation in the hate speech and prejudice that she was speaking out against.

This does not in any way justify the nasty messages she received but on the same hand, I do not blame anyone that called her out for her hypocrisy. I hope you can understand why her post was so negatively received and how flawed it was. My hope is that one day everyone can just ignore the negativity, report those who are being racist/prejudiced in any way, and block those who are just being loud and who you don’t wish to see content from. But unfortunately I do not see that happening any time soon.

There are a few things I want to address in this because I think it's a good moment for the fandom to step back and reflect on how we treat one another, how we react to such issues, and how we behave moving forward.

First off, thanks for explaining your point of view without being antagonistic. I do think that everyone's emotional reactions to the post were valid. I do NOT think their responses, in terms of words and actions, were valid. Now before I move forward, I want to clarify that when I use the word "you", I am referring to anyone who may have had the response I am describing - not you personally, anon. Also please don’t freak out about how long this is, as a majority of it is a response to the fandom in general, not you in particular.

What was - and wasn’t - said in the original post

In this post, there were completely valid criticisms of the way that people in this fandom behave, and it wasn’t “generalizing” a certain group, it was literal, actual proof of things that had been said, by multiple people. I’m not going to get too into what Alyssa argued because her critiques of those tweets was flawless. The original post had very valid criticisms of what was happening on Twitter. Alyssa exposed the actually racist, homophobic, and imperialistic underpinnings of those tweets.

However, a lot of people are stuck on the bits before and after those critiques. @bookprofessor apologized for different aspects of her post in a few different asks. There were perhaps better ways that some of those things could have been phrased, some things that could have been left out. And she apologized. People can accept that apology or not but we can’t act like it didn’t happen. Like she didn’t reflect and learn to do better.

However, the people she was calling out have not done the same thing, and if anything, comments that focus more on Alyssa’s tone than why she wrote the post in the first place lets those people off the hook.

On cracker - Using the word "cracker" is not racist in the same way that using racial slurs against POC is. Is it prejudiced? Yes. But you cannot say that it is the same thing when that is demonstrably untrue, given centuries of oppressive history. No one has been oppressed for being white. Those are not the same. Reverse racism is not a thing because a white person punching down on POC is NOT AT ALL the same thing as a POC punching up at white people. The actions look the same, but the impact is so unequal it’s not even funny.

Racism is a systemic, institutionalized problem. It is not defined by individual actions, though those actions can either support or challenge racism. When someone calls a white person a cracker, there isn’t centuries of oppression giving power to and reinforcing that statement. That is not a “gotcha” moment.

Saying “I have x IQ” or “I have X degrees” is not ableist. I’m sorry to whoever told you it was ableist (again, not you specifically anon but people who had read the “aw shucks guys” vagueblogs about it), but it’s not. Those are facts. I have no idea what my IQ is, but I have five degrees from institutions of higher education. Me saying that is in no way ableist. 

Often, people mention those things to be elitist, yes. Sometimes, they can be used to say “hey I know more about this than you”. They can be used in a way that tries to make themselves feel superior. I suspect that this is the impression that a lot of people got of the post. However, there is a fine line between saying “hey that’s elitist” and professing anti intellectualism. Which is perhaps a side issue so I’ll let that go for now.

Another reason that people mention their degrees or qualifications is to establish their background knowledge and credibility. If I were to say “hey y’all I have two MA degrees” (which is true) I am not being ableist! It is a fact! It is factual! And I worked my ass off for those, I will be in student loan debt until I die for those, I have every right to mention them if I want to, and often I do so in order to establish my credibility, to explain the position I am coming from. And my prior knowledge of these topics is relevant when we are talking about literature since that’s what my degrees were on - literature and linguistics. That is why Alyssa mentioned her background, though she did pair it with comments about other people, for which she has apologized.

My final point about this is that I 1000% understand feeling insecure or less than because of educational attainment. I dropped out of high school. I had a complex about that for a long, long time. But I also know that if I took offense at someone else saying they had a PhD, then that offense is about me, not them. Someone else’s inferiority complex is not reason for people to pretend to be less than they are.

If those two comments are what overshadowed the bigger, more important issue for a lot of the readers of that post, then y’all allowed them to overshadow those more important issues. I am 99% sure that someone right now is reading this and thinking “but Leslie, it was the way that she said it!” Boy have I got some news for you!

How we react

This next section is not specific to this ask; instead, it is a discussion of how the fandom responded. If it were only one person who had said “but her tone” then I wouldn’t need to make this point. The fact that multiple people are exhibiting the behavior explained below is what makes this a cultural problem within the acotar fandom.

The main argument I saw on the post itself, and indeed any time I see people bring up how nasty Twitter can be, is that “it was a joke” and “that’s how stan Twitter works”.

No.

Those responses were quite useful for this post, though! So buckle up everyone, because I am going to talk about gaslighting, racism, respectability politics, and tone policing. While I understand that some people might have taken personal offense to what was said, there is a much bigger issue at stake that has nothing to do with individual feelings, and everything to do with ensuring that POC stay silenced and white supremacy is upheld. 

Back to the “but it’s a joke” thing. Thanks for gaslighting! Great example of that, person I’m not going to tag! Gaslighting is when you make someone question their experiences, when you try to make them think “wait, did I really feel that way? Is my feeling about that valid? Do I need to re-evaluate my response to this?? Am I blowing this out of proportion???” And saying “it’s just a joke” is a perfect way to do that. Did I say something accidentally sexist? It’s just a joke, nbd! Now you’re the problem, because you didn’t understand my joke and laugh!!! 

Saying “it’s a joke” or “oh they are old/young/ignorant, they will learn” is not a good response to... anything. It takes the responsibility off the people who are doing the harm, and putting it onto the people who were hurt. And in this case, anyone who read those tweets and found them harmful (which should be everyone?) is completely valid. You aren’t lesser for being angry or emotional or for seeing a problem where other people saw a joke. The people who see those things as acceptable jokes are the ones in the wrong.

This is a tactic that is used against women all the time. Any time a woman is sexually harassed at work or online, for example, and she gets upset about it, and someone chimes in with “oh they weren’t serious, can’t you take a joke?” So you can imagine what this is like for women of color.

It is a very, very common tactic for people of color to be silenced via tone policing and respectability politics. Tone policing and respectability politics are very closely related, especially in this context. The idea is that if Alyssa had just written that post in just the right way, it would have been more palatable to white people, and therefore okay to write. The idea that if she had tried to be “understanding” or “see it from their perspective” or understand that it’s “just a joke” are all ways to silence and de-legitimize any accurate, valid criticisms that were made of those tweets. It effectively re-routes the conversation away from the real issues, and to the person trying to bring them up. It’s essentially an ad hominem attack in disguise. 

We see respectability politics in media when people of color who act or dress or speak like white people are afforded more respect. Or any time that a person of color is pulled over and people say, “well if they had just done what the police officer asked...” There is a pervasive idea that if people just “act” properly, aka if you act white, then the police won’t feel antagonized and try to kill arrest you. If we are nice enough, meek enough, smile enough, etc. then we will be accepted.

When we tone police, we refuse to allow marginalized people the right to be angry. We say that "hey, we can only have this discussion if you leave emotion, which you rightfully feel, at the door, and we can only continue this discussion if you behave in a way that makes me feel comfortable." But guess what? It isn’t about you! These discussions are often highly uncomfortable. There is no nice way to tell someone they are being racist. And yet somehow, that is the ever-moving goalpost. It seems reasonable, right? “Just be civil, be nice, don’t insult each other!” And there is that. But those criteria change constantly, to the point where anyone (white) at any time can say “WHOA WHOA THIS IS MAKE ME UNCOMFORTABLE???” Then we find ourselves at zero, and suddenly the focus of attention has shifted away from the actual problem.

Before we go further, I want to say this: people have a right to be angry. They do not need to make their anger palatable or tasteful for the consumption of others (read: white people). 

We saw this last summer, and I’m not sure how the message didn’t get across. But people are rightfully angry about racism. They are angry about the murder of people of color by police, they are angry about lack of quality education, or clean water, of centuries of oppression that have led to this very moment when all of that ceases to matter because a white woman’s feelings got hurt one time. 

And that is what pisses me off so much. There is no way in this world that we could criticize tweets like those that everyone would agree with, and that everyone would “approve” of, that would be “nice” enough and yet still be impactful and make the authors of those tweets understand the gravity of what they have done. 

The least we can do is allow one another to express our anger, our outrage, because it’s highly likely that those people know exactly what the fuck they are doing, and they do not fucking care. By criticizing a woman of color for the way in which she chose to engage with this topic, we are avoiding the issue and letting the people in those tweets off the hook. 

There were many responses to that post that were positive, that agreed with Alyssa. There are a ton of people who disagree with those tweets, who find them disgusting, who understand exactly how and why they are problematic. That should be what we are talking about. Getting to the core of the argument, on that post or any about racism or other problematic behavior in fandom, requires getting past our own egos. It requires us to be able to step back, say “hm this thing is frustrating but there is a bigger picture here”. It’s not easy, and I recognize that. 

The fact that it is a common tactic though? To say “hey this hurt me personally and so I’m going to ignore any valid points you made?” That feeds directly into centuries of white supremacy because it, once again, silences POC and makes them try to play a losing game. And they will always lose, because no matter how hard they try to play the white game, the goalposts are constantly shifting. So you know what? Fuck the game, and fuck respectability politics, and fuck tone policing and “uwu be nice guys” because when it comes to things like racism and sexism, I don’t expect the people who deserve to be criticized to be nice. In fact, trying to be nice only serves to fuck POC over in the end.

Indeed, in response to that post, certain blogs have taken the opportunity to position themselves as “the nice ones” or “the ones who would never” or “uwu let’s be nice guys” while completely ignoring the fact that a woman of color was attacked for calling out racism. And yes - that was the point of her post. People getting hung up on mentions of her degree are (intentionally or not, it doesn’t matter) completely obfuscating the fact that that is not what her post was about, which was to call out disgusting behavior. idk how many words the post actually was, but essentially, people are focusing on 5% of it to the detriment of the 95% that was actually really important shit. These types of vagueblog posts about the issue fall into exactly what I am talking about - these are people who have decided to look at this issue, see how Alyssa (and anyone else who dares speak up) has approached it, and intentionally try to act like they are “better” because they can be “rational” and “kind”. Newsflash, if you don’t have something to be angry about, then being “nice” about racism isn’t that much of a flex. If it didn’t bother you, then congratulations. That doesn’t make you better than people it did bother. You just got lucky this time, and decided to use that to your advantage to look like the good guy.

I am not saying that all calls for peace are doing this. Obviously it’s what we all want. This is the worst I have seen this fandom in the 4+ years I’ve been here. But we cannot have that by ignoring the real problems and pretending that if we are all just nice to each other, then we will solve racism and sexism and all bullying in the fandom will stop. 

So combining all of this - the gaslighting, the tone policing, and what do you get? You get a fandom that refuses to actually engage critically with its own problems and take accountability for them. You get a fandom that decides that it’s easier to be distracted by this one mean comment over here than it is to engage in the fact that you know what, the culture in this fandom has actually turned incredibly disgusting and a lot of people are just okay with it. You’ve got a fandom that is using the tools of white supremacy to avoid the discussions that should actually be taking place. Maybe people don’t realize that that’s what they are doing. But if someone still thinks that after reading this post, then godspeed my friend, I hope you enjoy Twitter.

Okay so my last thing I want to say is that I didn’t come to all of this knowledge fresh from the womb. I do a lot of work, in my personal life and my professional life, to be better. So here is a list of books that I have found particularly helpful:

How to Be An Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi

Stamped From the Beginning: The Definitive History of Racist Ideas in America also by Ibram X. Kendi

White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism by Robin DiAngelo (side note, I was kinda meh about this one but the chapter “White Women’s Tears” is particularly helpful)

So You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo

Black Feminist Thought: Knowledge, Consciousness, and the Politics of Empowerment by Patricia Hill Collins

I’m not going to talk specifically about Alyssa’s post anymore, but if anyone wants to continue talking about these broader issues going on in the fandom, I am game. (I really should be grading papers though, so it might take a bit.)

[kalinara]

So my previous post was reblogged with some tags that I think are worth addressing in a separate post.  I don’t want to single anyone out here, but I want to address the gist.

For the most part, fandom behavior has NO impact on what will or will not become canon.  And the more you focus on the idea that a ship should or must become canon as a reward for the side of fandom that behaves properly, the more miserable you’re going to be.

For one thing, there is no “good” side of fandom.  There is bad behavior on every side, from pro-shippers and anti-shippers.  Sometimes you can pinpoint specific bad behaviors to a specific “side”, (i.e. shippers tend to directly harass creators and actors more than non-shippers, in my experience, whereas anti-shippers are more likely to try to turn this all into some absurd moral crusade) but in general, you’re going to find people who are dicks everywhere.  If you think that your “side” is different, it’s probably because you’re not actually looking in the right direction.

But also, we, as a fandom, have no control over what happens on the show itself.  And even if creators have some limited interaction with fandom, that doesn’t mean that they see everything that goes on the same way we do.

I absolutely believe there are anti-shippers who torment pro-shippers.  I’ve seen it happen.  But doubling down on “this is why the ship MUST HAPPEN” isn’t going to help.  If anything, it’s just going to make matters worse if it doesn’t happen.  Or if it happens, but not in the way that you’d prefer.

There’s a reason that “we’re popping bottles when X becomes canon” is a meme, after all.  

And honestly, it’s not like having your pairing’s happy ending become canon will really fix anything.  I’m dating myself here, but Due South is a fandom INFAMOUS for fan wars.  And in the end of the series, the two male leads end up going up north in a fucking dogsled together.  Now this was 1996, so we didn’t see explicit proof that they were banging.  But it was as close as anyone could possibly get without hanging a “just married” sign on the back.

But did that fix ANY of the fan wars?  NO.  If anything, they got worse.  The only thing that “fixed” the fandom is that the show became so damn old that 90% of the fans moved onto something else while new generations grew up who will never know the show in question.  But there are STILL infamous tumblr anons who want to continue the fight.

I’m not saying that people can’t HOPE for a particular pairing to happen, or celebrate if and when it does.  I’m not even saying that we can’t feel a bit of schadenfreude when the people who annoy us (pro or anti) are proven wrong.

But I’m saying that we need to stop putting all our hopes and dreams and validation into canon.  It’s not something we can control, it’s not a value judgment.

Sometimes bad pairings happen.  Sometimes good pairings don’t.  Sometimes the bad fans get “rewarded” or vindicated.  Sometimes no one’s happy. 

It is what it is.  We can’t control the final product, we can only control how we consume it or how we enjoy it.  Celebrate what you love, criticize what you hate, ignore, block or call out the assholes at your pleasure.   If it stops being fun, don’t engage anymore.  That’s what we can do.  Anything else is just setting ourselves up for misery.

[sneezypeasy]

Okay, I’m not normally someone who takes particular interest in fandom culture as opposed to media analysis, so this is probably going to be a one-off post, but there’s an observation I can’t help but make. I’ve only just recently rejoined the Zutara fandom (I basically dipped pretty soon after the finale, and moved on to other fandoms at the time), and in checking out recent posts (including anti-posts that tumblr sometimes throws in even when they’re correctly tagged) - there’s something I find interesting in the way that Zutarians and anti-Zutarians characterise/define “toxic behaviour”.

See, I’d seen this “Ugh, [x shippers] are so toxic” thrown around from all sides, but the justification for this claim appears to be different depending on who is slinging it. When Zutarians accuse antis of toxic behaviour, I tend to see this claim referring to such behaviour as:

A. harassing shippers (especially minor and/or minority shippers) for their opinions

B. cross-tagging/sending rude or hateful anon-asks

C. stealing content/fanart from shippers

D. doxxing/threatening to doxx

E. sending threats of harm/death threats

I know I haven’t been back for long, but one thing I have yet to see Zutara shippers use as basis for the “antis are so toxic” argument is the claim that “antis are so toxic because of how much they embrace canon”. I mean, Zutara shippers do pull apart pro-canon takes, but I more often see them pull apart the arguments more than the arguers, and while they might dismiss their opponents as closed-minded or biased or whatnot, in general “obsessively wanting canonicity to stay as it is” is not used as the rationale for the claim “x antis/shippers are so toxic”. “Unimaginative”, “under-critical”, I’ve seen. But not “toxic”. That label is generally reserved for behaviour that actively causes some level of harm to other shippers.

On the other hand, I’ve noticed that when antis accuse Zutarians of toxic behaviour, while they have occasionally referenced one of the above five examples, I more often hear this label “toxic” applied to examples of Zutarians being “delusional”, “misinterpreting canon”, “bashing x character”, “unable to accept that their ship isn’t canon after x years”, etc etc. Or, in another words, the sort of behaviour that is likely to fall under the banner of “toxic behaviour” as defined by antis includes:

A. being openly critical/unhappy about the way ATLA characters and/or romance arcs were canonically portrayed

B. being openly critical/unhappy about the ending of ATLA in general

C. attempting or petitioning for reboots to rewrite canon

I don’t go out of my way to check anti-Zutara posts, I only see the ones that tumblr plops unceremoniously onto the Zutara tag, so I fully acknowledge this is just casual observation, not a robust study of any kind. But I can’t help finding it curious that I see more allegations accusing Zutarians of being toxic for, essentially, having a searing hatred of canon (canon portrayals, canon ending, canon romance arcs, etc etc etc), than allegations that accuse Zutarians of being toxic for bashing other shippers. (Which is how I usually see Zutarians define toxic shipping.)

Now, I’m not going to argue the veracity of either sides’ claims - I neither have the time nor the interest to measure the relative “accuracy” of each side’s accusations here. What I do find interesting is this huge divide in characterising toxicity. I’ve seen a lot of “toxic Zutara shippers” posts (I’m talking about outside of tumblr, as well) which essentially boil down to this premise - the premise that simply disagreeing with canon (or perhaps, disagreeing with a certain amount of... vehemence?) is inherently toxic. By this definition, you don’t have to actually hurt anyone to be a toxic shipper, you just have to believe in your take strongly enough that you desire, argue for, or even actively try to work towards, having your alternative ending granted canon validity/recognition.

(This idea, that supporters of a fanon ship who are passionate about having their ship canonised are, in doing so, displaying their toxicity, rather neatly allows antis to characterise huge swathes of the Zutara fandom as toxic almost by default. It also allows them to avoid meaningfully engaging in discourse - what need is there to combat opposing views if the mere act of arguing these alternative positions falls under the umbrella of “toxic shipping”? After all, if someone’s conduct is understood to be toxic, one can hardly be blamed for choosing to dismiss their views and shame their behaviour from a safe distance, and warning others to do the same.)

I’m not sure if it’s even a conscious thing either, but to me, it does somewhat explain how (at least ATLA) shipping discourse can get so out of control. I’ve seen plenty of petitions (from other fandoms) asking creators to make non-canon things canon or vice versa (remember the giant petition to rewrite GOT Season 8?), and I’ve also seen plenty of fandom divisions over various writing choices which not everyone agrees should have been made canon. And while these arguments can ultimately get very heated, I don’t often see each side accuse the other of toxicity merely for being on the other side of the fence or for having an alternative interpretation of a divisive scene. But in the case of the Zutara fandom, I see that a lot - Zutara shippers who “just ship” are “okay”, one of the “good ones”, but the ones who actively want and argue and defend their ship as the one that “should have been canon” get the label of toxic. Which I can’t help finding.... odd. Very odd.

(I would provide receipts, and I suppose I could upon request, but I’m not sure how productive such an endeavour would be. I’m nervous about both attracting and encouraging harassment, inadvertently.)

Anyway, I suppose civility in any fandom divide is probably always going to be difficult to accomplish, but it’s gotta be near impossible if one side perceives disagreement (or sufficiently fervent disagreement), to be intrinsically toxic.

[minisoysquares]

As fun as the events and ideas you posted about 19days would be, wouldn’t it also just bring in more negative stuff - like fandom in general has become a field of land mines and I fear that something that’s supposed to fun will turn into some sort of battle. Like how some people get extremely heated over any other ships outside of their fave ship and they cannot possibly have other ships except theirs, etc. The last thing anyone wants is for content creators to be targeted simply for making something they thought would be fun

(This ask and answer is about this post.)

First of all thank you so much for addressing such a big and valid concern. I agree that that has indeed happened in certain fandoms - I can say I've been in the thick of it and witnessed quite the warfare - but in others it has also brought fans and readers and content creators together even closer and tighter in a wonderful thriving community.

I have the feeling this'll get quite long so please proceed under the cut with that in mind.

I believe all things are potential harbingers of both discord and harmony. There will always be people who feel entitled and who want - even demand! the audacity! - authors and artists to create for their ships and their ships alone. And there will also always be people who can appreciate the writing and the art without judgemental treatment regarding the pairings/characters depicted, no matter their preferences.

All of that happens and will continue to happen, whether we go forward with these events or not. And yet authors will still write what they want to write, artists will still draw what they want to draw, graphic designers will still make the edits they want to make as well. What we could do, in this small and close knit fandom, is take in our hands this powerful rich opportunity and try our best to make a model of positivity out of it.

In these events, there would be no bashing or shaming allowed. The content created would be to be enjoyed by those who are attracted to it, and those who do not have a taste for that fanwork in particular would be asked to remain respectful. (As it should always be.) There would be no ship wars in these spaces. Discourse, hate-speech or anti-behaviour would not be tolerated by the moderators of the event.

Creators who indulged in it would be immediately disqualified. Any unnecessary commentary or complaints from the audience would be deleted and reported as spam. Anyone instigating conflict would be only painting a target on their back, really. Because most of us - I dare say - are only here to appreciate the brilliant artwork and fanfiction woven and crafted by the talented people who share it with us.

If it came to it and it escalated, this hellsite has several tools that can be put to use to that regard. Accounts could be blocked and/or even reported. They wouldn't be able to interact with the blogs created to run these events from then on. We would be able to create a black list and post it publicly so everyone else who wished to could simply block those unruly pesky accounts and remain at peace and free to enjoy themselves to their utmost.

Let us not forget that this is all fiction and it's all for fun. Everyone's allowed to have their own opinion, likes and dislikes. There simply is no need to step on anyone else and their interests to elevate them.

Let's exemplify, for the sake of clarity:

Do I personally ship A with B? Imagine I do not. I do not search for it. If I come across it? I scroll past it. Once or twice, I may even like - and even reblog - if it happens to catch my attention and it's well written/drawn! (I have tags along the lines of 'I don't ship it but' and 'look at this beautiful art' or 'drown in the power of these words.')

It's so easy to interact amongst ourselves without coming with pitchforks at one another. Know what actually needs effort? Being a meanie and a party popper! Who in their right mind wastes their time on things they don't care for? Dum dums, that's who! Of course, we're all dummies at times... and that's okay! Let's just not harass people or crash their fun while we're at it!

If nothing else: you wouldn't like if others did this or that to you, therefore don't do it to others. It's a simple concept to grasp.

Very important: in these events, every single piece would be explicitly and properly tagged and warned for right at the very top of each post, so there would be absolutely no excuses for anyone being nasty.

We would just have to be open to the experience. Enjoy our ships and let other enjoy theirs. We do not have to all like the same thing. That would be just boring. But we can cohabitate devoid of trouble in fandom. Each one of us just has to be respectful. No need to even be nice. No one has to compliment something they don't like. They also don't have to step on what others do.

Don't like a ship/character/theme? Don't read stories focused on it. Don't put down authors who write it or readers who enjoy it. Same for art. No need to shout about how awful it is just for the simple reason that it does not fit into your personal shipping preferences. It can still be still be a tasty and wonderfully baked cake, it's just that you're not fond of vanilla or strawberries. It's okay. There are all kinds of cake for everyone's tastes!

Further examples: If a ship happens to be a NOTP for me or I don't care for the character(s)? I filter the tags. All of them. Any and every tag I can think of. It's very easy to protect ourselves on Tumblr from content we do not wish to see. (My own list is huge and just as effective.) Filtering is incredibly important.

So go ahead and filter out the ships you can do without! Filter out porte-manteaux like Tianshan, Zhanyi, Qiucheng, Tianxi, Tianyi, Lishan, Litian, Liyi, Shantou, Polydays, (...) Filter out any ship tag that doesn't strike your fancy like Q x MGS, HC x JY's mom, (...) Filter out characters that aren't your cuppa tea like HT, HT's dad, SL, JY's mom, XH, (...)

Make it safe for yourself and for others. That way you won't rage at the sight of your NOTP, won't feel the compulsive need to trash the people who ship it, no one is hurt and everyone is happy!

There are many steps we could follow to prevent rotten eggs in our coop. And many more actions we could take to throw them out if need be. I firmly believe, however, that if we're all of the same mind everything would go well and with very few bumps along the way.

If we only ever feared the possible negative consequences of our actions, never taking the risk for the possible positive ones, we'd never get anything done. I say let's not let our beloved fandom stagnate or dry out. Let's incentivate and motivate and inspire! Let's share! Let's have fun!

Think of it in these terms: it wouldn't be a competition at all but rather a charity event. Performers and spectators coming together for a common good, raising content and spreading joy! There would be no winners or losers or prizes. What would matter would be good old-fashioned participation, both by providing content and/or consuming it.

It could also a good way to get people to express themselves more. Many content consumers tend to lurk or keep to themselves even if they like the content posts. (I used to be one myself and only a couple months ago started to come out of my shell.) I myself advocate for reblogging instead of liking - if you have to choose one or the other, I mean, why not do both? - and leaving a word on every single post I like and/or reblog. Sometimes I go nuts commenting, sometimes I leave a small note in the tags.

It doesn't matter how. Even if you're shy or introverted (*raises hand*) or don't know what to say I guarantee a single emoticon or a string of disordered letters symbolising incoherence will make the creator's day all the same. Getting feedback is so important and motivational for creators and also a great way for fandom members to keep in touch and support each other.

Additionally, if a person would like more of a certain type of content here are some healthy actions they could take: a) commission a creator and pay for it if they can; b) politely make a suggestion to a creator with an open ask box; c) post a prompt publicly for possible interested creators to use; d) do it yourself and share it with others!

This turned out into more of a "behavioural guidelines" thing than I'd have liked. I am not in any way whatsoever telling anyone what to do. This is what I do, and it works wonders for me. I stay completely out of toxic arguments and in on all the goodies. I'm able to fully enjoy my fandoms. And isn't that what we all want?

Thank you again for sharing your thoughts with me. And I apologise for the long rant!

Of course, this is only my personal stance on the issue. I did go for a survey first exactly for this end, to get their opinions on the subject and see if it would be worth a shot. I shall hope many other people will think as I do, but I will wholly respect those who don't.

[autumnslance]

Being in fandoms for so long yourself, do you have any tips on how to approach fandom in general? It can be so overwhelming sometimes!

Honestly avoid fandom as much as possible. 'Tis a silly place.

On a more serious note, I DO have a draft on staying sane on social media I’ve been slowly making. The main points are about knowing how your social media sites work in regards to tags, searches, cuts, filters, blocks, and mutes, and being liberal with using them for whatever reason you need. In general for this post: limit following counts and be picky about who you follow and why--don't just “follow back” because. Don’t sit in Discords that make you uncomfortable and keep utility servers to those channels needed and mute/hide the rest. I should get around to the rest eventually.

I maintain that sticking to what you love and with friends is better than trying to interact with “the fandom” at large. Especially as a property gets well known and a larger following, the vocal negative 1% seems to get louder and tiresome quickly. Protect yourself and your pals and enjoy what you wish, minimizing stress and drama and hurting real people over what’s supposed to be a shared interest of pretend characters and stories. More specifics of that below.

Limiting myself to some friends and branching off their recommendations, getting to know folks before hopping into servers or groups, helps a lot. I don’t have to engage with the entire fandom. I tend to hear about random dramas in passing, like a shadow underwater, because I interact with chill folks more interested in simply enjoying an interest, not in making it their entire life and identity and so having to be right or chase clout or whatever over a pretend world and make-believe characters, even if resonates with us.

Don't give too much of yourself away. Don't tell people all the ways to trigger you, or your vulnerabilities. Don't give away locations. Use basic internet safety and anonymity to keep folks at arms’ length as much as needed. You're not obligated to answer every DM, right away or ever. You can make some dear friends through fandom, but a single shared interest is not a guaranteed safe and healthy basis of relationships.

Focus on what you love, ignore what you don't. Yes, you want a healthy level of objectivity and criticism and sometimes you need to vent but overall, fandom experience is much better if you're actually enjoying the things you engage with. Don't force yourself to put up with things you don’t have fun with, but also let others have their fun (even if you don’t think that it is fun, if it isn’t harming other real people and dragging them down it’s fine even if you don’t get it). This can include leaving that fandom when the base material is no longer fun for you, leading to...

Remember that you don't own the characters and story; it's someone else's world, we just play in it. The creators are going to make choices and changes, some good and some bad; learn to accept that and keep fanon separate from canon. Interactions with creators via social media are also usually very surface level and parasocial; just because they make part of themselves visible and accessible, doesn't mean you know them, are friends, or are owed anything by their social presence.

Other fans have other takes; you may not like them, but they're valid. Sometimes those other ideas too can make you rethink or add to your own, make you realize some things you hadn’t considered due to a blindspot in your own experiences, and add to your understanding of characters and story arcs. So be open to others’ ideas. Find those of a like mind more or less and stick with ‘em.

Don’t let fandom ruin a thing for you. If you find yourself surrounded by a lot of negative opinions, especially about something you enjoy, you can speak up if comfortable, but if not, simply stop following/interacting. I cull my following lists regularly, and a lot of times remove people who tend to be negative about things too often for my taste. Their blog/timeline/whatever but I don’t have to interact with it. If I find my enjoyment of a thing souring, I ask myself if it’s due to the actual story/characters/how the creators act, or if it’s due to the corner of fandom I’m in and if I have to clean up and then see how I feel about the thing.

Don't assume the worst of people. I often make myself stop and reread what someone said, slowly and even out loud if I must, to make sure I understood. Go back some posts/threads/pages for context if needed. Some people are just bad at communicating. They may be ignorant of even the most basic of modern social manners, internet etiquette, and so on. English may not be their first language. I tend to assume unintentional oopses until someone makes it crystal clear they mean harm--it's generally easy to tell. Let things roll off your back; they don't know you, really, just the persona you present online. You don't know them and their issues, either, just what little you see. It's usually not worth the hassle and heartache to do more than eye-roll and move on with life.

Others won’t censor/remove everything you personally find a squick or trigger, but do advocate for proper tags, warnings, and hiding the content. Learn to skip past the crap you dislike to find the things you do; you do not have to read or view or comment or like everything. There's only so many hours in a day, and not everything is your taste.

My personal annoyance usually come from how people who engage with questionable content react to other fans being upset, especially when they didn’t take the proper precautions to warn/hide their content based on the site. Anyone who then revels in their “problematic” status and starts making their dark content “to spite antis” has lost sight of why they wanted to make that content to begin with and are acting like brats, IMO. Especially a waste when it can be well written/drawn, even if out of my own comfort area. Don’t do things for spite if you can help it; sometimes it leads to interesting things, but a lot of times, it ends up hollow and a regret down the road.

There’s likely more to this, but these are some general rules I’ve been trying to follow as I get older and realize a lot of time and emotional labor over fiction isn’t worth stress and negativity, but should be relaxing and fun, as the real world is difficult enough. Have fun and make things fun and positive for others when possible, don’t tear others down for the sake of it. Fandom is meant to be a shared interest and love of a thing, after all.

[jade-marie]

Ok so on the prospect of “anti” tagging I have some thoughts.

This got long, not gonna lie.

Which content is considered anti?

This whole anti thing is a very subjective concept. I’ve seen a lot of talk over the last few days about “negativity” when, to me, negativity is when you’re just talking shit for the sake of talking shit, not when you’re making valid criticisms. Pointing out flaws in the writing or plot holes or racism isn’t being negative and this mindset that everyone has to be positive all the time is fucking toxic. It makes other people feel like shit when they aren’t enjoying an episode or storyline and simply want to share their experience.

And what content are people supposed to tag? Because I don’t see anybody requesting an anti-Dean tag or anti-Manny Montana when we’re all collectively roasting him for getting a stupid tattoo on his neck. But god forbid anyone critiques Beth’s character flaws. Heavens no - the misogyny!! So where exactly is the line being drawn? Does everyone have to tag content that isn’t singing Beth‘s/the show’s praises or are we allowed to make valid criticisms?  Are we allowed to say that we didn’t enjoy an episode?  Is this simply being reserved for people who mindlessly bash the show with no valid reason for what they’re saying? And while we’re on the topic - you might find criticisms of particular characters/storylines offensive, somehow. You might find that it impacts your viewing experience. Other people might find praise of particular characters/storylines equally as frustrating. When I see people praising Beth, sometimes it makes me want to stab my fucking eyes out, quite frankly. Soooo are we going to start tagging “positive” content as well?🙃

Silencing POC within fandom

It’s not lost on me, the timing of all this discussion. The fact of the matter is, the content people have an issue with right now is predominantly criticism of Beth, a lot of which is rooted in criticism of the racist writing on the show and the white feminism that she represents. A lot of this criticism is coming from POC viewers. So the second they have to start tagging their posts as “anti-Beth” so everyone can blacklist them, they no longer have a voice.

At the end of the day, this is a predominantly white female fandom and it’s very easy for the show to be viewed through that particular lens. So when you have POC fans finally speaking up and criticising the way Beth‘s handled by the writing, the way Rio is fetishised, the way racist tropes and stereotypes are utilised and they’re immediately branded “negative” - that really doesn’t set a good precedent. Because now you’re telling people that by making valid criticisms and speaking about the way their viewing experience is being impacted, they’re somehow ruining other peoples’ experience. It’s bordering on micro-aggressions, at this point.

Fandom is a communal space

Is it? Is it really? Because from where I sit half of this apparent community have fucking blocked each other anyway. Tumblr, in particular, is not a communal space. People have their own blogs and they post what they want to post. If you don’t like what they post, you don’t have to follow them, it’s really simple. In comparison, a platform like reddit is actually communal. People have to go into a shared space in order to voice their opinion, they have live episode discussions, they have post-episode discussions, yet nobody tries to police each other’s opinion there. People tag their spoilers but that’s it. If someone posts an opinion you don’t agree with, you simply move past it like a fucking adult. 

If you go on Twitter and you look through the good girls tag, you’re going to see a shit ton of stuff you don’t agree with and guess what? You just scroll past it. Because despite what people try to convince themselves, there is nothing communal about fandom unless you create your own community. If you join one of the good girls Facebook groups (again, communal in a way that tumblr isn’t) you’re going to see opinions you don’t like and once again, you just scroll the fuck past. And please don’t start talking about community when people are still too scared to actually voice their opinions because they think no one will like them or they’ll get hate. When people are literally leaving because they’re afraid that their “negativity” is going to bring everyone else down. When people are still punitively unfollowing/blocking/blacklisting and making shady fucking tags about each other for having a differing opinion about a work of fiction, how exactly can you even begin to talk about communal space?

If you want to start talking about community and manners, maybe take on board the criticisms people are making, recognise the issues being raised, stop punishing people for having different opinions and stop being so fucking selfish. On the other hand, you could decide to stop preaching community and everyone can post whatever the fuck they want, if you don’t like what you see, don’t follow them.

P.S if someone critiquing a show or talking about the issues they have with it makes you enjoy it less, maybe that’s because you didn’t like it that much to begin with. 

[phoneybeatlemania-bit-the-dust]

I’d disagree with the anon that Paul was “incapable” of love, but I do agree he was very distanced, and pretty cruel (to women) when he was younger. (It was unfortunate they bought into the love at first sight myth, but he was also a charmer, and dropped affection and got colder after fucking them.)

But I just can’t see romantic interest on Paul’s end. I’m sure he loved John, but a lot of the “sexual/Romantic evidence” really can just be as construed as platonic love. I feel there may be some confirmation bias looking for “clues”. (Not an attack on anyone, but some of the analysises seem to try too hard, really).

He does make references, with the whole “calling him babe during concerts”, and “in bed” but that could just mean he’s not uncomfortable with coming off “gay”. He has a quote about it somewhere I think. He’s supportive of the community at any rate.

This is kind of my own bias, but at times I think he…plays it up a little during the present day? Again, I’m positive he did love John a lot, but with how he is, a charmer, good at manipulating his image, he knows there is a benefit to building up the “magical” Lennon McCartney dynamic. John’s dead, and the old conflicts have faded, so he has no reason not to. I don’t think he’s anti-social, or a psycho or anything, but he certainly does put a lot of thought into his image, especially now, with how he wants to leave his legacy.

I’m less knowledgeable about John, and the speculation about his mental illnesses, but on his end, I can certainly see it. Maybe he’s just blind, but the looks are very much…yeah. He does seem to rely Paul a lot, and hold him in very high regard (REGARDLESS of what those old male biographers might make of him). You just know he was suffering over Paul, poor bastard.

Not sure if anything happened. I think Paul knew though, and either ignored it, or was kind, knowing John wouldn’t act on it. OR he didn’t notice! With the whole “we shared beds A LOT. you would think he’d make a pass at me, darling~”

I guess that’s how I see it. I don’t really have strong feelings on the nature of their relationship, or want them to be “confirmed”, so I try to be as objective as possible! Not a shipper, but not a male biographer. In fact, I was very put off learning the ship was a thing at first! With every fan base “having to” ship the main male leads, that’s what I thought this was. But after three years, reading actual books, primary stuff, I’ve began to change my mind on its legitimacy, and this was my conclusion. But new information can always change!

(Sorry for the long long analysis, god! I just took my adderall and I should go eat! Feel free to block me for spam/harassment.)

Yeah, this is basically my big mclennon dilemma: did Paul love John?

Of course he loved him, but I mean did he harbour any homosexual feelings towards John - and I just go back and fourth on that a lot.

In my last response to an anon I wasn’t necessarily trying to argue that Paul was romantically/sexually attached to John, because all in all, I don’t believe he did - but it probably came off that way because I didn’t particularly like the way the anon had phrased some stuff (like calling him “a master manipulator” and “incapable of love”) and so I just sort of wanted to show that the relationship was more nuanced then just “john was simping for paul”. My overall point with that response was more so that whilst I think Paul struggles in showing real affection and emotions, I don’t think he was incapable of love prior to Linda. I think he did really love John (in whichever form of love you want to take it: romantically, platonically etc.)

And so my point I guess wasnt so much that Paul was always capable of love (because I think he did at least love his family, his close-friends, probably Jane etc.), but maybe more so that he was always capable of intimacy with another person, though he struggled with it.

But yeah, he was quite cruel to a lot of the girls he slept with in the 60s, but I wouldn’t say that suggests he was incapable of love (i know thats not what you’re saying but other people might interpret it through that lens) I would just say he was young, dumb, ridiculously rich and famous and not emotionally mature enough yet to really empathise with most of those girls. Not trying to completely excuse him, but like, i dunno, i always just try to view people from the most human perspective. Everyones an twat sometimes yknow

I also really struggle to see romance on Pauls behalf towards John - the only times I think “wait but maybe he did fancy john back” is when I read some of his lyrics (like in ‘Coming Up’, ‘Yvonne’s The One’, and to some extent ‘Here Today’ - though I think interpreting Here Today as strictly platonic love is still a valid interpretation). I mentioned this in a different post though, that analysing his lyrics just isnt particularly convincing for me, because it feels more like speculation - and also as someone who does write songs, I know that a lot of lyrics just arent as deep as we wish they were. It is really difficult to be truly introspective and honest in a song, without exaggerating or hyperbolising or fictionalising any autobiographical aspects.

I do see your point with Paul possibly playing up the “Lennon/McCartney m a g i c” - im not entirely sure how much I agree, but I do agree to some extent. I think he’s always been very image conscious, and being in what is probably the all-time most famous pop band definitely wouldve heightened that. Even as a teenager I think he’s always just had this natural charm about him, and that tends to stem I guess from a need to be liked; I think you can see it in every interview he’s ever done to be honest. Its not necessarily a bad thing, (because id take a charmer over a rude knobhead any day) but I guess it sort of just shows that Paul is flawed like everybody else. Also, just read @mothernatures-sons tags and I agree with her - Paul just knows when to be a nice person! Nothing wrong with that! It isnt manipulative like the last anon suggested, its just how most people are: polite :) Ive heard a lot of anecdotes from people who have worked with or met Paul and the majority of them say he was a just a nice guy. Not saying he was never an arsehole (cause yeah he was pretty cruel to those girls in the 60s) but I think overall, hes a pretty good guy 👍

On the other hand though, you could also say that superficial journalists are looking for superficial answers - and Paul knows what the people want to hear. But occasionally ill hear an interview that does seem more intimate then most - I havent listened to it in awhile, but the interview he did with Sean I remember felt more honest to me then most. And when he said he’d like to spend the day “in bed” with John, to me that felt like a genuine and fitting response. Because, whilst it has sexual connotations, it also just feels like he’s saying he’d just like to sit around, chat, dont chat, just whatever with John for a day. Like he would just like another moment of intimacy with him.

I think we are pretty much in agreement on most of this though! At first I was also like “nah, mclennon isnt real, teenage girls just love shipping guys!” (I am a teenaged girl and I can confirm this lol) but then it just sort of became apparent to me through reading more and more about their relationship that there probably was something more on Johns behalf. If John wasnt in love with Paul, then it feels as though a lot of things he said and did just dont add up (the big one for me is him marrying Yoko so soon after Paul married Linda - like I really cannot come up with a heterosexual explanation for that!)

But when it comes to Paul, though ill have moments of doubt, I dont think he was in love with John (homosexually) and I do think a lot of the evidence on Pauls behalf seems like a stretch (but like you, im not having a go at anyone, because I understand that it is easy to carried away, plus its fun - but realistically, most of Pauls evidence just is not convincing to me). He’s comfortable with his sexuality, and I really do try to respect that and not force a gay interpretation of quotes or songs from him, unless it is genuinely making me question his sexuality and mclennon.

PS dont worry, I didn’t take this is spam at all!! And also, I would never block someone just for disagreeing with me! I enjoy discussion and I think its good to engage with people who disagree with you! To be honest, id only block someone if they were purposely being a real arsehole <3

[with-my-murder-flute]

Hi everybody, thanks for the asks letting me know I made the top of @yusuftiddies’ list of Homophobes in TOG Fandom, you can stop sending them now.

So.

I can make mistakes and fuck up and own that. I am serious about listening to marginalized people. But... in this case, while @yusufstiddies generally describes factual events that happened and factual posts that exist, I have to say that I can’t actually apologize for the things I’m called out for because I don’t think they’re homophobic. The things he criticizes me for are things that come from a lot of personal experience as a queer bisexual cis woman, as well as a lot of reflection, research, and study. I believe in them really strongly and stand by them.

I’m really sorry if this makes TOG fandom too hostile, because it is not my intention to make this place so unpleasant that anyone feels driven out. I understand if my stance means people no longer want to follow me/read my stuff/participate in projects I’m involved with (though I’d rather hand off the Research Hub to someone else than see it go down with me). I’m posting this so people can know where they stand before they decide whether to keep interacting with my blog, or “deplatform” me as @yusufstiddies recommends.

I would recommend, for anyone who doesn’t want to see my posts, using Tumblr’s new post content filtering feature. If you type a username (like star-anise or with-my-murder-flute) into it, Tumblr will hide all posts featuring that specific string of characters, and therefore any post or reblog of mine.

To address the accusations against me:

I am an anti-anti: Yes. I’ve reblogged posts of mine about this before. I care passionately about preventing child abuse, but I think there are better ways to prevent child abuse in fandom (like concrete harassment policies so predatory behaviour can be reported and stopped early, and education about digital consent and healthy relationships) than attacking people who write “bad ships,” not least because the first people it hurts are abuse survivors trying to work through their trauma, and because the research says you cannot actually tell who’s a sexual predator based on what they write about.  Fiction affects reality, but not on a 1:1 basis. My mainblog, @star-anise, has a really extensive archive of my writing on the subject.

I said cishet men aren’t more privileged than gay men: Kinda. What I actually did was question whether Every Single Cishet Man benefits from more privilege than Every Single Gay Man. If a man is cishet but gets beaten up because people perceive him as gay, he’s not exactly feeling the warm toasty glow of heterosexual privilege in that moment. Oppression is complicated and there are times when someone’s lack of privilege on one axis is way less important than someone else’s lack of privilege on another axis.

The post above also includes me reblogging someone else’s addition about how straight men can be included in the queer movement: I’m queer. @yusufstiddies has made it very clear that he isn’t comfortable with the word “queer” and doesn’t like it. Therefore I think it’s understandable that he might not understand that the queer community sees ourselves as a coalition of people dedicated to dismantling the structures of sex and gender that oppress us, not a demographic of people whose gender identities or sexual orientations can be neatly mapped. However, I would say that doesn’t make queer theory inherently homophobic.

There are also some related points @yusufstiddies didn’t level at me specifically, but I would like to address:

The constant focus on the unsafeness of cishet people:

I’m not cishet. I’m a bisexual woman who’s dated women. Sixth-light is a queer woman married to a woman. This is not an issue of non-LGBTQ+ people blundering their way into something they don’t experience the daily consequences of. This is an issue of people from WITHIN the LGBTQ+ community who sincerely disagree with @yusufstiddies about the pressures we experience and how best to deal with them. I think that even if @yusufstiddies were to filter his fiction input to only LGBT-written work about LGBT experiences, or even only trans-written work about trans people, he would still find a lot of things he finds upsetting or transphobic, because sexual and gender identities are really diverse and not everything will suit one person.

The contention that saying “’Queer is a slur’ is TERF propaganda” is transmisogyny because it dilutes the definition of “TERF”:

People who point out the phrase is TERF propaganda are not calling every person who says it a TERF, and we are not trying to argue that telling a queer person that queer is a slur is inherently equal to the kind of damage a TERF does when she attacks a trans woman out of transphobia. Queer people being able to use the word “queer” does not have the same importance as trans women being able to live, work, and survive in public. Rather, we are literally saying, “This is a thing TERFs say when they take a break from attacking trans women and try to recruit new members to their group, so it’s in our best interests to not give it too wide a currency.”

Some people have experienced the word “queer” used as a hateful word hurled against them and don’t want to hear it ever again. I get that. It happens. Where I grew up, “gay” was a synonym for “shitty” and it took me a lot of years out of high school before the word “gay” wouldn’t shoot my blood pressure through the roof.  I actually do understand that and think that’s valid (and again, support using post content filtering for that word).

One of the things I do at @star-anise is argue with young people who are headed into full-on transmisogynistic TERF territory, and work at reeling them back and deradicalizing them. I use a tag called “weedwhacking” so my followers can filter out the sometimes lengthy back-and-forths we get going.

Something I’ve learned, interacting with so many TERFs and proto-TERFs, is that one way they frequently get recruited into harassing trans people was through discourse around the word “queer”. For one, it encouraged them to want to distance themselves from any perception of LGBT people as “weird” or “not normal”, which led to seeing trans people as “weird” and “not normal” and therefore not good members of the “gay pride” community. For two, repeating “queer is a slur” predictably causes a lot of queer people to react in a defensive manner, so by teaching young or new people to say it, TERFs can set them up to feel alienated from the larger LGBTQ+ community and more open to TERF propaganda.

The next issue isn’t mentioned in the original callout post, but I think it’s key to this entire issue:

@yusufstiddies has made several posts about what cishet people should and shouldn’t write. For example, cishets shouldn’t write Nicky experiencing internalized homophobia.  Another is a detailed post of things cishets shouldn’t write about trans people, including which sexual positions only trans people are allowed to write. I would imagine that part of his frustration with fandom has been the lack of traction those posts have gotten. I know I very deliberately didn’t reblog them.

That isn’t because I don’t agree that the things he complains about are rarely handled well by cishet authors. I agree that there’s a lot of bad fic out there that contributes to negative stereotypes against LGBTQ+ people and is basically a microaggression to read.

I have two very deeply-seated reasons for my position:

LGBTQ+ identities are different from many other political identities because most people are not born identifiably LGBTQ+. It’s something we have to figure out about ourselves. And one really important way that we do that is using the safety of fiction to explore what an experience would be like, sometimes years before we ever admit that we fit the identity we’ve written about. So banning cishet authors from writing something is really likely to harm closeted and questioning LGBTQ+ people. It will lengthen the amount of time questioning people take before finding the identity that really fits them, and force closeted people to be even more closeted. 

There’s a lot of undeniably shitty stuff in fandom. However, I fundamentally believe that trying to target the people creating it and forcing them to stop doesn’t work very well, and has the serious byproduct of killing the creativity and enthusiasm of the rest of fandom and resulting in less of the actual thing you like being produced. I think that it is infinitely more productive to focus on improving the ratio of good stuff in fandom than trying to snuff out every bad thing.

Like I said: I understand if this means former followers, mutuals, or friends no longer want to interact with me. I’ll be saddened, but I’ve obviously chosen this path and can deal with the consequences. 

I wish this could have worked out differently.

[antiloreolympus]

without bias from my side, I read this comic, I enjoy it and the characters to a certain level interest me. I have my issues with it, but I'm trying to understand your arguments but bringing fan bias into this isn't going to validate any argument brought forth. There's genuine issues yes, and the latest chapter brought forward is going to upset a lot of people content wise because there is no trigger warning. But with all sincerity, and no bashing towards you, This is a free comic on a app that has a lot of issues with each of it's comics, I can point out issues in majority of the popular comics on the app. Some of the point's you have are yes, valid and worth the discussion.

But the way you characterize the characters sometimes is iffy, Hades is not Persephone's sugar daddy, she genuinely tries to not get spoiled by him, returning the coat, the hair pin at first, the fact her phone is broken beyond belief and her computer was literally from a dump, wanting to loom her clothing before the shopping trip. Have the recent chapters made her relationship with him like that? Yes. It's annoying. Did we really need Hades and Persephone not taking the situation seriously and being romantic after cursing someone? We did not, It gets in the way. The romance aspect of this comic gets in the way of actual plot. It frustrates me.

And this week with the chapter going public is going to be the most upsetting and people will just purely gush about Hades and Persephone. The fact trauma is being ignored upsets me. Minthe was abusive and in terms of what actions she took to be with someone is extremely toxic. Taking someone down a peg by giving them a reality check after giving a chance to know them is what would be healthy in a sense or recommending therapy which is now, coming up. Tower 4 was a mess. She regretted it yes. But she never got to sit down with Persephone and when she did, she was extremely rude. Both parties in this situation have critics. I like this comic, I do admitting this with bias. I know what it's like to have a "Apollo" in your life who you fear. I was naïve at one point and I wanted freedom from someone so badly, that the after math that person caused, I found this comic and someone knew what it was like somewhat. At the current moment the hades and Persephone stuff focusing on a relationship is turning me off yeah. Do I still want heavy themes in this comic to be dealt with and shown so I may not feel alone in my experiences, in genuinely terms yes. I want these themes to be expressed with both sides. Do I need a relationship filler piece every episode? God no. Whatever happens, happens. If you don't like this comic, then criticize it all you want. There's things wrong with it, I don't think bringing fan bias into the conversation and possibly mock or criticize fans in a way that makes them look stupid, will make anyone have a discussion with you without anger and or pettiness. If this is what they like at the current time and want to celebrate it and praise it then let them. If you want improvement, then approach it in a way that many people with critic jobs do. Write to her possibly, ask questions as to why the quality isn't as lovely, ask why the relationship is being more fleshed out then the other stories. If anything I say hurt you in a way, I apologize. I just want to actually discuss without bias or hate.

Nah it's ok, I see where you're coming from

However, I'll have to start by saying that this blog is mostly for people to send in their criticism. I'm doing this blog for fun so I don't wanna treat this like a job. Plus, I'm not going to be able to ask RS any questions as she's both busy and can just block me in second but might try that one day.

When it comes to engaging in discussion, I don't bring any bias into it as I actually don't hate the fans. I clown on the 'stans' (the ones who get mad that LO critics even exists) but I've had civil convos with a couple fans.

I let them like what they like, I'm not saying they can't enjoy LO but there are reasons why others (myself including) are anti or neutral with LO. I don't use their tag for that reason (even though I keep appearing there).

On to the other stuff:

Hades: I agree which is why I hate that the recent chapters throw that out the window. She was so willing to just buy whatever which is why we say it gives sugar daddy vibes. He will literally buy anything for her if she asks.

Minthe: I actually don't agree with Minthe unwillingness to apologize but Persephone did end up holding it over her head as blackmail (and being flirty with her bf) so I can see why she didn't apologize after that. Is it right? No, not at all. I just understand where she's coming from. Can't remember the other times Minthe and Persephone where alone together though.

[greylunar]

PLEASE do in depth analyses of all of the houses for your quiz I was enraptured reading the gryffindor one and I didn’t even get gryffindor

JUST FOR YOU ANON, I am going to compile the sort of Final Breakdown of every house, in my opinion, that you get at the end of the quiz now. Theres more in-depth analysis of specific questions under each house’s tag on my blog, and you can feel free to ask more specifics of course bUT here is the masterpost of that c:

A Hufflepuff is, unlike a Ravenclaw or a Gryffindor, an internal house. I know what you must be thinking, “how can you be the house of loyalty if you’re an internal house?” Puffs have a small network, Their People, maybe friends, maybe family, maybe friends who are family, maybe an assortment of small pets or animated characters. While Slytherins also have Their People, they have resources and associates to draw from when their bored, whereas the term associates exhausts a Hufflepuff. Spending time with people they don’t love doesn’t ever sit quite right, although they will often do it in an attempt to make folks happy. Hufflepuffs yes, are a house of kindness and of love, but unlike Gryffindors when it comes down to it they don’t have to go out of their way for kindness and love. Gryffindors will seek out situations in which they can do good. Hufflepuffs good is smaller (not lesser) in which they will do as much good as they can for the people directly in their line of sight, but when granted with the great expanse of the world it is easy for them to shrink in on themselves and not be able to cope. That said, they have so much love to give out, and will often want all their love in one place, slightly selfish but mostly excited collectors of people. If your version of the ideal future is a vague image of all the people you love in your house for [insert holiday] that is a very Hufflepuff sentiment. Hufflepuffs, like Gryffindors, are inherent/intrinsic worth folks. Hufflepuffs know who they are, or at least how they define themselves. Their moral code may not be their local government’s law (and actually very often isn’t), but it does exist and is rigid, and puffs won’t go against it unless incredibly pressed. This is a point of contention with Slytherins and Ravenclaws, and even Gryffindors who feel like they have to perform/validate their identity and choices through others. Hufflepuffs are themselves, and no one else, completely and quietly. They love their People. They want to build a home for them. That isn’t to say that puffs are necessarily gentle pushovers. A huge component of Punk and Anti-fascists align themselves with Puffs because they are So themselves and So invested in the safety and well-being of their people and community. Like slytherins, hufflepuffs often know/feel they’re weird, and tend to relish in finding people as absurd and lovely as they are. They will forgive people, possibly too much. But quietly, they will shift the little orbit of the world around themselves to be a little kinder, a little gentler, for them and the people they love. Be kind to yourself. You do not have to be any bigger than you are.

Slytherins are linked to identity, changing themselves to meet their needs and the wants of the world around them. They have specific people that are Theirs, and their circle of Actual Trust may be rather small, even if their friend/associates/resources group is a wide network. Slytherins are tied to wanting, craving, and not necessarily in a bad way or in a way that’s “ambition”. Slytherins are a house made up of people who want something or someone or some goal desperately or are made up of a myriad of little wants, but also struggle with the idea of worth and whether or not they have done enough to deserve the things they want. Sometimes, these wants are secret. Slytherins are often caught up in this wanting and this worth, and cannot see that they are already loved, completely and wholly, for who they are. When you care for someone you care for them with all of you, you are inherently a protective house like hufflepuffs for those that you care about most, and for all your wanting so so so many of you are beautiful creators (the worlds and story ideas slytherins have just roaming around in their brains?? amazing!). My advice to slytherins, if I can give some without being asked hahaha oops, is to recognize that for all the shapeshifting of the self you do, you can be exactly who you want to be, if you just give yourself permission. Who would you be in a dark room without any mirrors? How would you dance? How would you dress, for just yourself? Of course, that doesn’t mean you have to change your life tomorrow. It just means, sometimes, starting in little ways, take back a little bit of ground from the world. “This part is me. This part is mine. You aren’t allowed to have it.” It can be quiet. But you are worth so much, and you are yours. You are just as much of a person as anyone else, and have already earned love, because you never had to earn it in the first place.

Gryffindors believe in innate worth, innate characteristics, sort of your personality is that way because That Is Who You Are. Similar to hufflepuffs in this way, anti-slytherin experience haha. Gryffindors, unlike Hufflepuffs, are an external versus internal change maker. Because of this, they are often more broadly idealistic than hufflepuffs (think range, although they both hold their core values very deeply, hufflepuffs are on a smaller more condensed scale whereas gryffs will spread themselves thinner. Puffs do not have to change the world, rather they create a Home in which to put their world into, whereas a lot of Gryffindors struggle with feeling that they aren’t doing Enough, not Enough good, not Enough love. That the failures of the world are in part because they haven’t done enough to help personally). Gryffindors are very solid with their identity. While slytherins/ravenclaws will see their body/their reflection in a mirror, a scientific fact of life or something they wish they could/can change and shape, Gryffindors (with some exceptions for gender, trauma, and mental illness) tend to be confused that there are answers other than “I see myself in the mirror.” However, Gryffs can be performative, because while they see themselves, they need to be told that they are going in the right direction, they need to be loved, they need to help. Gryffindors will lose themselves a bit in an empty room, in isolation, moreso than hufflepuffs or ravenclaws. They create and change the world around them FOR the world around them, and so the world can look at them and say “okay, you did it, its okay now.” In this way, they are closest to slytherins, seeking validation, seeking a legacy, even though they may not even do it/realize its for themselves. They do good, or they try to, based on how they have defined it for themselves. They will care for you with all of them, if you earn it. They will hold you. But the voice in their head says “am I sure that this is what good looks like. Am I sure that this is enough.” From your friendly neighborhood Hufflepuff, sometimes doing what you need to take care and save yourself is the best thing for the world. Maybe cook something, have a lil dance party. You are an important part of the world. Start small, and love that part the most. You can add on from there c:

Ravenclaws shape the world around them, and create, in order to create a world that better suits themselves and their goals, rather than Slytherins who shape and create/recreate themselves to suit the world, meaning they are an external house, creating and impacting in the world around them rather than in themselves. Unlike Gryffindors, the other external house, Ravenclaws do not feel as much pressure to be seen in a sort of grand legacy or entirely shape the world around them. They give and seek knowledge and creation because, in a very basic sense, they feel like they need to. In a way I’ve said it “I could not write poetry for 30 years and that wouldn’t mean I’m not a poet. I am a poet. That does not change.” But Ravenclaws will get restless if they don’t create if they don’t learn. Their legacy doesn’t mean that the whole world will remember them forever. Its that they will create/make/do something that will matter to even one person enough that they will be remembered. A lot of Ravenclaws feel tied to their Ravenclaw identity because they don’t quite know who they’d be if they weren’t the ‘intelligent one’ if you will. But Ravenclaws sometimes forget that they create beauty every day, learn things new and small every day, without even meaning to. Ravenclaws believe identity is created/forged/remade constantly as information is gathered, and often try to seem neutral, scared of sharing an opinion unless they’ve thought it through completely and are certain they should stand by it. Ravenclaws are often searching, looking for something bigger than them, as almost to prove they are small in comparison. Sometimes the best thing a Ravenclaw can do is realize that all those wonderful books and poems and pieces of art that make you dream of a fantasy world were made in this world. This place, so full of love, that gave them to you in order for you to love it back. A lot of ‘gifted kids’ put themselves in Ravenclaw, without realizing that it was the rest of the world that put them in Ravenclaw, and not something that they chose. If that’s the case, maybe now is the time to ask yourself who is it you want to be? The self is a construct loves, and a uquiz doesn’t define you. You define you. You’re so good at creating Ravenclaw friends. Create you. You’re already magnificent. You’re already worth it. Now its time to look at yourself and give some love to that self, to ask it what it wants to be. You are, more than anything else, your greatest masterpiece.