#sometimes we need to let villains be villains and if you like them--thats okay

[disastersteps]

Oh honey you KNOW I gotta ask you questions in return so here we go for Neets : 20, 23, 7, 9?

okay really late answer but thats bc i slept gsdjhghjs-

send me sidestep asks and i will answer!

20) how do they feel about death?

Anita used to never let it bother them in the past, and usually tried to ignore it when they were Sidestep. But Heartbreak incident had made them feel uneasy at the thought of someone they care to die, and just the thought of someone die by hands of them is even worse. But what can they do when they literally choose to be evil, even if the purpose is well intention?

But yeah they just... uneasy, numb, and just a guilt of unable to save someone (Themmy).

23) how do they feel about possessing people?

If you ask Sidestep!Anita, they will laugh uneasily and looks at you questioningly like what kind of question is that? Of course, it's invading, might not be a great feeling.

And now that they do... They feel they had no choice but to use it.

Yes, it's wrong, but they were in such a dire situation- fucked up even, and it was the only way to 'push' people away from them, it was the only way to fit into the glove, and make their heads turn away as Anita pass through.

They don't possess people a lot unless it is within their own reasons, such as Aoyun (Anita's puppet) or just need a backup, or just to be caution when they're not in their armor (they had used a bellboy in rebirth to get the cube, but they made sure the bellboy get back to work before his boss learn he left the hotel). Or to stop them (the guards in the museum) and make them move away (the innocents that went to the casino), and so on.

Yeah, they may be a villain, but it doesn't stop them to use it to avoid further bloodshed, at least a piece of Sidestep is still with them.

7) what is their dnd alignment?

...So I'm more or less familiar with alignment despite I knew what is it, so asked a friend (who played D&D a lot) to help me with Anita's.

Anita is neutral good! They want to break the rules, but they also play by the rules at the same time, and are considered good aligned.

They're neutral because, while they're not chaotic despite being a anarchist, they know the rules way better for it. They're not a idiot to not break too many rules, while at the same time, they will risk if it is needed.

And they're good, because. while Anita would and will hurt people, they made exceptions for civilians and anyone who are innocent. The people they would absolutely hurt is their targets only, beside it made them remorse if they hurt the innocents, civilians and anyone who had nothing to do with it (or, you know, Ortega and Chen who they knew personally from the past and just. Yeah.).

And, because they're a anarchist, they want the best for LD in the end. Hence being good aligned!

9) how honest are they?

Sidestep!Anita is half lying half telling the truth, and all the lies they have to come up for Julia and Themmy to 'get to know' them became truths more and more, and they really believe it because it backfired them. turns out all the half lying facts they have to make up? It end up something they actually enjoy and like. And they just. embraced it because it meant they did get to create their own life with their own choices.

Harby!Anita is... a mix of bags. They lie when they have to or when they realized they don't have the baggage to even admit it so they lie. They also lie to avoid dealing with it because they don't have time for this, they have things to do. Even if sometimes, it did ended up getting dragged on for too long.

They still half tell the truth. Yes, they literally told a half-truth to Ortega, thinking she will back off (but had no idea it had made Jules to be determined to even help them further or you know, keep a eye on them out of concern lmao)

[spikeinthepunch]

spierverse 2 spoilers. but also a long post diving into Villains in recent (animated) movies

i dont rly plan to make any super long posts about all of this movie bc theres just SO much to think abt and a lot of people are saying what i would say. but i have thought a lot about the villain, The Spot. mostly in relation to my last fave animated movie's villains- Puss in Boots 2

PIB got a lot compliments for its villain(s). You had Goldilocks who was an antag but a character you can see some reason to sympathize with, but she isnt the big bad. You have Death who is a conflict to hinder Puss' progress, and then you Jack Horner who is a villain that you have no reason to feel bad for, as its shown many times how he is just a privileged ass. It was a movie that finally really had a bad villain you werent gonna see redeemed, and had no reason to see redeemed. Goldilocks was an antag as she was Puss' enemy but we had no reason to hate her, and her siding with them eventually made sense. Death's conclusion with Puss was less so any end for the Villain's arc but for a personal Arc Puss was facing that drove the main plot.

Many people saw this movie and were pointing out how bad Disney/Pixar's movies have been with villains. I cant even think of any villain in their last movies, theyre all so samey. and a lot are trying to be the same "oh well now you can feel a little bad for them because we showed some sad backstory!". its nice to have some times where theres a complicated grey antagonist that explores the divide in interests and pushes boundaries but thats not what Disney is doing.

Often times, Superhero movies have cut and dried villains. Not bad- its just that there is a formula. You have a guy with a name and a gimmick and they bad, they must be defeated. Even in comics where things get expanded on for backstories, sometimes with troubled pasts etc, it still doesnt change it? They don't get reformed and stop being the villain.

So lets look at the first Spiderverse before 2. Kingpin was the first (major) villain (along with some on the side) and they were established villains. The thing thats important with Kingpin is that while we were given information about why he is doing what hes doing, no one ever finds it as "okay". no one thinks they should just deal with it by fixing him or feeling bad for him, because Kingpin wouldnt take that. He IS awful, hes selfish and terrible. and Nothing he does outside of those personal feelings actually reflects that. Nothing else he normally does as a criminal is related to his family that he lost. These kinds of superhero villains are often already criminals with an intense violent history, and theyll keep being a criminal.

Going to Spiderverse 2, we get a villain thats a bit different, The Spot. Its interesting because he starts goofy- he actually is trying to be a criminal too actually. He decides because of his circumstances, he needs to rob and do things like that and its makes sense, he has no where to go. But hes so confident and normal about it, cocky etc, that you dont feel bad for him. hes not desperate or sad or begging with the weight of his sad backstory. Hes annoying, goofy, and no ones will take him as a serious criminal at first. And then he starts to explain more seriously what happened. And it STILL doesnt come across like a "woe is me" kind of story. He *still* annoying and cocky. he wants to be bad. he wants to destroy everything. Does it suck what happened to him? Yeah. Does it suck that it ruined his life?" of course. Do you want to redeem him? i mean no, i wouldnt. hes still a jerk. and thats the key thing.

you can have a villain who is relatable and grey but its not The Spot. Its not Kingpin. They had some kind of "tragedy" but they arent ever going to be good and you shouldnt use them as aan example and soften them up to be easily digested and garner sympathy with. thats just not the kind of story you can have all the time. you NEED to remind people, mostly kids, who the bad guys are. and the samey bland villains of disney havent stuck in my heads at all in recent years. its not to say their movies were all bad- i liked a lot of them (Encanto, Turning Red). But i can hardly recall any clear "villain" plot lines. Theres a time and place for those vague instances, and many times they just dont work because it makes the whole story so vague and directionless. It makes it hard to remember the key points when its not strong enough from its other elements.

I just feel like we are losing classic villains because people for some reason started to think it was boring and we needed more "nuance" but this "nuance" isnt.....that. its bland written media by big studios that cant actually have morally grey characters because it would actually be too sensitive for people.

[junsei-draws-rotasu]

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III 1990 (Live reaction blog)

When I saw the poster, I thought this was a Christmas-themed film, which is odd, but hey, that means Santa would surely be the villain here. Until I look more closely. It's time travel, meaning Renet! So, without further adu, let's hit start!

Starting at Japan, 1609, so specific.

The opening sun is like Lion King, but more war like

Whoa, did they really filmed this in a beach while riding a horse?

Gasp! A ninja!

Oh? A runaway prince?

Oof—smooth transition

Why are dancing?

Fun training montage

Aw Raph, why hit the music ?

Ah yes, the universe really likes proving Rapheal wrong

Oh! April got a new haircut! Neat!

I'm jealous, I wanna look like a boy sometimes

So, no renet? :(

Another great transition!

We’re obviously continuing where we left off

The western outfit stands out when it’s sorounded with Japanese samurai’s armor

Ooooh, son talking back—wait, war?!

Oh, so suddenly your worried for you son’s well being when you were moments away decapitating his head until you were interrupted by Walker

Why is there must on the ground?

Dramatic much, prince?

Kozo means brat, right?

Siding with the enemy? Hmmm… I have no sides yet since I don’t have all elements to decide

Wow, serious anger issues, prince Kenshin

Oh wow! The turtles were documented?!

They don’t look like Kappa! Look up a Kappa and they don’t look like them!!! Where’s the weird bowl flower that Kappas supposed to have?!

April! Just drop the staff!

“She’s a man!” Wish it were that easy

Now how will April communicate when she can’t understand Japanese?

Obviously, the rat has more fear than a turtle

Looking great April, still jealous of your hair tho

How come that managed to travel with you? Wait, do you even have a bra with you?! Wait, is the prince wearing your bra???

Just splash him with sewer water guys

Oh! Good, at least April won’t be killed since they can speak English

I forgot being called a witch is bad

That might be very expensive guys!

Damn, April has no fear. Granted, he life became crazy, so I don’t blame her

April! No! Just say no! My gosh

Good for the prince being complimented

Eeey! Casey Jones! Good to see you!

Why would you need someone to help a MASTER ninja???

I’m about to comment on how old school trap until I remember she’s in the past

Why is that man so sweaty???

Glad she isn’t the first

Are this steel bars or sticks? If sticks, April should make a plan then escape

That’s Casey??? Huh???

Oh, mistaken identity

Ah yes, love, whatever

Mikey got a point

More like Teenagers

Oh heat, Mikey idea worked!

For honouuuur!!! I say this sarcastically

And Mikey is riding the horse with style✨

“I swallowed a Frog… hope it isn’t an ancestor” Since when your Part frog???

A Ninja?

Will this ninja be Karai—wait, is this Mitsu?

Now I wonder who stole those

As always! Listen to the master!

Hearing honour guards from Kenshin father is weird than hearing it from Kenshin

I don’t see the difference between the normal and honour armor

Or they could’ve guess they were killed instead being missing

Guns gets rekt in TMNTverse or any superhero universe.

I’m pretty sure the clan sustain itself from traders. Sure traders need costumers, but they look for one

Shut up, Niles

The disrespect! Ugh

Agree with the sweaty man, Niles is annoying

Stop calling the sweaty man fat! Clearly there’s a reason why he’s chosen to look over prisoners!

Bruuh, I feel the disrespect for rounded people

Are we going to do some killing?

No? Okay

Seriously, number is the strategy? Alright

Okay, I just heard a robotic “I’ll be back” wtf. Is it my website or the actual movie?

You mean facies(poop)

Oh, Fake-Casey got left behind

Why did you guys prison Mikey in your vegetable storage?

Fake-Casey?! Where did you come from?

Don’t flirt with her! She already have a Casey back home

Yeah! Plam strike!

Glad there isn’t any kills, cuz I’m pretty sure thats the revolution group

It’s too early for a victory dance guys. We’re halfway through the movie rn

Ugh, colonizers

Yoshi!? Heh???

There's no thoughts behind his eyes

When they screamed, Mikey proceeds to laugh menacingly.

As they ran away, Mikey continues to mess with them

“Clint Eastwood?” Who?

Niles 😒

Put the fire out! That’s what you do!

You the hero Mikey!

Oh? Does Leo have magic hands in this version?

Oh, CPR. Wait! MEDIC LEO 1990 version!

Wow, Leo has a Talent for horses

Is it me or did your skirt got shorter, April

He could adapt. That’s what humans are good for…

Ah yes, the good ol’ Telly. That’ll work for distracting them

You burnt it Mikey.

Look at Raph, giving non-violent advice 🥹

Aw, Look at this Feudal Japanese men becoming American modern men, he says with sarcasm

This are the honour guard? 🤨

Knew we’ll get murder

In this tugged of war between Raph and Mikey, I bet they’ll break the septer

Man, this kid is dark

Wait is that—

So it was Yoshi who got it! Wow

Gasp! I didn’t expect that! I thought it was Yoshi being a kid wanting to Raph to stay longer! Not this tactical decision of war!

I don’t buy it old man

Betrayals everywhere!

Knew Fake-Casey was bad news the moment he plead for freedom

Looks like the Daimoy is a coward

So, first turtle kill is from Leo?

An indirect death with bell???

No? Aw

“Who’s your Tailor? “We’re naked” Mikey is killing me rn XD

Yes! Psychology play!

You should’ve kept a poker face to make your bluff effective

Oh… did walker just killed the Lord?

Nvm, he got a new haircut on top of his haircut he got from Leo

You really love that bird huh?

Weird Cut, but okay

Mikey! Why?!

What about Splinter?! Or Pizza! Mention Pizza, bet that’ll change their minds

Yeah, Mikey is just staying because of Mitsu isn’t he? 😒

Omg, not the warriors removing their clothes XD

Man, I like this warriors attitude

And Mikey got left, didn’t expect that

Oh! Nvm! Glad he’s back

I understand nothing going on here

Heh???

Hockey! *bows*

Kenshin learned that move from modern times!

Aw, Splinter making his son laugh 🥹

[sicklyseraphnsuch]

Egbert and Lalonde

John and Rose shared a very sweet relationship at the start of Homestuck and honestly, I feel that both John and Rose share a similar trajectory after the game ended.

Both felt shackled in the aftermath. Rose's classpect has done more to stifle the "rebellious" girl who sought to write her own quest, than anything else. But of course, any woman carving her own path in the world is considered "rebellious" when she's just doing her thing. And after the game, Rose feels beholden to the "Narrative"/Fortune as she Sees it, and doesn't seek a path that she cannot See.

And we all know how John fell apart.

In Candy, they actually made similar paths as well. John married Roxy, Rose married Kanaya. They had wedded bliss. But at some point, they just started going through the motions - which is INFINITELY more interesting to me than wedded bliss. John and Roxy eventually divorced but Rose didn't. Again, this is part of her Seeing a path and feeling chained to it. Kanaya even asks in BC: "when did you stop trying?"

Both John and Rose (either in Candy or Meat) suffer from an intense loneliness. To quote the show Kaos, "There's no loneliness quite like that with someone you're falling out of love with. Especially when that person doesn't know it yet." And I suspect that's what happened to Rose. Whereas John in Candy eventually divorces Roxy (though how in love he was is actually unclear). And John in Meat has sex with a Terezi that fell in love with his Candy version, and was also dying, so how much of his love is true and strong is also dubious.

This depression makes sense, and I'm not mad at all about the way Hussie wrote this (TBH). But I am also hyper invested in how this all shakes out. I think Hussie made a bold decision in writing truly pathetic characters who made awful decisions. Because to me now, the End feels like a Beginning all over again.

(I also am okay with Jane becoming the Bad Mom/Worst Villain, bc we need more of those and honestly, her being a Good Mom would also be death of her character however More palatable that would be to the fandom. At least this character "death" is fucking interesting. I support women's wrongs. Go get 'em.)

(And honestly the way I feel like the narrative should wrap up is by making the End as the Middle instead. But thats my writerly preference)

So, I think... Rose and Kanaya should probably break up. Kanaya doesn't deserve the bullshit Rose put her through and if Rose is falling out of love, they both deserve to be honest about it. This is Rose "breaking the game" all over again, and by that I mean Rose "breaking the Happy Ending norms that society likes to enforce on the populace". Sometimes, divorce IS what leads to the Good Ending. Sometimes, love ISNT forever. I am delighted by this sincerely.

But the story shouldnt end with the divorce (thats too normal!!!). Lets be weird. Anyways, Rose owes herself the Truth. I hope the story kickstarts both her and Kanaya's stories again and maybe... Maybe they'll hate each other and they'll end up as kismesis bc Kanaya is wasted in Flush romances gurl I know you can tear a body in two. And uh... well... let's fade to black here. Heehee.

As for John... I actually really love June as his next development. But here's my thing. I dont believe John is one of the people "who always knew they were going to transition". I dont buy that the only "valid transperson" is someone who knew from a young age that they were "trans". I know people who were Cis* for a good chunk of their life and through a confluence of events realize hey... That cis* isnt working for them anymore. (*for a given definition of cis)

I think John follows this trajectory. Dont even get me started on people who think that devaluing ANY transition bc "oh you were traumatized so youre only transitioning out of trauma". First of all, those people would devalue ALL transitions at the drop of a hat. Hey, newsflash, your past experiences in fact inform your present realities. And hey, sometimes, that means a cis*boy decides that instead of doing a piroutte into death, a better and more hopeful change maybe in becoming a woman.

I dont think John becoming June will magically remove her depression. I think June needs some prozac on top of the girlpill. But you know... It feels like a breath of fresh air for June to Become something new. Because John deserves to rest, and June deserves a chance to scratch and bite her way into a new life. I looooove June as a way of Egbert forging an identity thats not part of the game anymore. It honestly feels narratively perfect to me. She's still going to be depressed and traumatized but she's relearning how to be.

Tl;Dr I think Rose Lalonde and J. Egbert should Become Something New. Maybe that means Rose dates different people and maybe that means John grows into June.

[plasmatier]

I got high and wrote some tomfuckery

Theres a certain pain in being happy, that it takes effort. To be happy, you must actively steer away from misery. It feels like the entire point of happiness sometimes is to be in a place where we don't put in effort, and we coast along, But that's a stagnant view in the most literal of ways. It's coasting because you just barely try, just enough that you dont take bullshit about it, but then you talk of big things but you need it handed to you on a silver platter first. Unless you bought that silver platter, it ain't coming. I'm the person learning to cook so they can run the kitchen those platters come out of, I'm drawing and painting and making art and you wanna just have it in your home when all it is to you is a trinket. It's not a trinket, that's days worth of work, hard creatively, physically, fiscally, mentally, sometimes even emotionally, and you just see the tiny bit of 'uh yeah, thats about right' it gives you in your tax bracket trying to act like you make enough money that this thousand dollar piece made by some schmuck doesn't carve into living expenses, let alone subsuming them entirely. I don't have that luxury.

Art should disturb the comfortable and comfort the disturbed. Art is spoken to pain through the lense of latent joy, It's realizing you are the light at the end of the tunnel if only you stick around long enough to glow. It's crying tears into a cup terrified to let someone find a stain on a carpet only to watercolor with that fluid a raging pain and agony made only manifest in silent moments alone. It's a scream in a frequency whose wavelength is the distance between a noose and a halleluja, louder than a bloody murder scream from a million civilians, and softer than the tiniest wimpers made in the space between a snotty nose, a broken tooth, some tears and the duvet cover hiding from love turned rancid.

I don't care if you find yourself in a space where you do not have the strength to move on because to live in joy is effort and sometimes you must rest. You will wake up with slightly more strength starting some day and you must use this energy to rejoice in your existence, unique and priceless like a gemstone of legend. Splurge in the gaps, buy that scented candle if you wish. Watercolor in the bath, Bubble bars and bombs, Clothing you suddenly find whispering your name in walmart… Exist in love, even if you are the only one to love you, it is imperative that you do so. You must set example for others to love you. acknowledge what hurts, irks, pains, or transports you. Express the love of things you suddenly remember your appreciation of. Say the first things that come to mind, and keep all the times you were okay in your mind's eye as you use it to lense the future from a blurry gloom made in the potential for disaster that occupies the tiniest cracks between the fun you find radiating across your life. Like tiny black veins in white howlite, the dark gets darker compared to the light. You will find happiness if you can simply push on.

Do not forget the potential you represent, one in several millions did that single egg have to choose and it became you. It is YOU who has experienced your whole, and no one else. it is YOU who has your experiences, No one else had your parents and your name and your life as a whole because tiny differences created HUGE gaps in your existences. You are a phenomenon, an event not unlike the northern lights, Beauty made by stress and set aflame by unwavering motion against what stands in the way of it's motion, and created only when that barrier is broken, even if only enough to let a tiny particle through, because it's a game of numbers. You are the odds, it is YOU who can assault the ideology of normal and create the space you need to flourish. Make a mess. Make a scene. Get petty. You earned the right. Who are these motherfuckers to stand in your way? You? Somebody got it twisted somewhere. Fuck that. You will always be a villain in someone's book simply because whats right to you and whats right to them may be diametrically opposed. Therefore, relish in your villainy, Tis' just a drop in the bucket compared to many anyway. Do you truly need such modesty? I think not.

[ladysophiebeckett]

gotta say, i feel like modern gurlz defense of her was pretty weak. 

[cringesideblog]

here’s my dnf playlist and a complete song by song track-list and why I put them on it.

heatwaves- on here for very obvious reasons. i don’t think I need to explain. but here are some lyrics anyway. “Sometimes all I think about is you, late nights in the middle of June.”

Jenny- again this is kinda obvious. “I wanna ruin our friendship, we should be lovers instead, I don’t know how to say this, cuz you’re really my dearest friend.”

TALK ME DOWN- this one just has the best friends pining for eachother vibe. “I wanna sleep next to you, and that’s all I wanna do right now.”

Dark paradise- kinda has dream smp vibes. but also you could argue heatwaves vibes. “Everytime I close my eyes, it’s like a dark paradise.” “There’s no relief, I see you in my sleep.” “There’s no release, I feel you in my dreams.”

Sweater weather- yeah you know why. you absolutely know why. “All I am is a man, I want the world in my hands. I hate the beach but I stand, in California with my toes in the sand.”

Drop the Guillotine- idk man just vibey. give it a listen you’ll get it. it’ll click. “You sure know how to drop that guillotine on me, though you would never wanna see me bleed.”

Can I call you tonight?- thats on their only for of communication being through the phone huh. (major heatwaves vibe) “powers out and I can’t turn the fan on, so can I call you tonight? trying make up my mind, just how I feel.”-“I hear your voice on the phone, now I’m no longer alone.”

Lemon boy- oh my god this song. geogre do be seeing dream as his lemon boy. “I helped him plant his seeds and we’d mow the lawn in bad weather.”

Yellow- DREAM IS LITERALLY GEORGES YELLOW SHUT UP RIGHT NOW. “Look at the stars, look how they shine for you.” “For you I’d bleed myself dry.”

Like you do- first of all I love this song, second, this has dream being a little too attached vibes. The whole song is just them. “Lost in the blue, they don’t love me like you do, those chills that I knew they were nothing without you, and everyone else they don’t matter now. You’re the one I can’t lose, no one loves me like you do.” “Since I met you, all the gloomy days just seem to shine a little more brightly.”

I saw you in a dream- mega heatwaves vibe. “When I’m awake I can’t switch off,” “I saw you in a dream, you came to me. You were the sweetest apparition, such a pretty vision.”

Maybe you’re the reason- did someone say pining best friend who doesn’t know that they’re in love ? this song. this song right here. “I keep looking for something, even though I know that it’s not there. Maybe you’re the reason. And anytime I try to figure it out, you’re the only thing I can think about.”

The king- DREAM SMP VIBE. “You like me, well obviously, so why you tryna leave when you know that I’m the king?” “Other lovers give you no luck, cuz I’m the only one who’s made you fall in love.” “Playing with your heart cuz you gave me the throne.”

Sweet- an adorable song truly that actually fits them so well. “Watching the, video that you sent me- you know that I’m obsessed with your body, but it’s the way you smile that does it for me.” “It’s so sweet, knowing that you love me.”

Apocalypse- um okay here me out, apocalypse au?? yeah i know it’s cute as shit you’re welcome. “Your lips my lips, apocalypse.” “When you’re all alone, I will reach for you, when you’re feeling low, I will be there too.”

Fear of the Water- don’t come for me this ones kinda sad, beautiful song though. “If this was meant for me why does it hurt so much, and if you’re not made for me why did we fall in love?”

Dreaming of you- two words, heat. waves. but also yeah good song for them in general. “Want you all the time, and now I’m dreaming, dreaming, dreaming, dreaming of you.”

Wires- uhhhhh dream smp vibe, dream villain arc n all . “If he said help me kill the president, id say he needs medicine.” “He said that I should take it in, listen to every word he’s speaking.”

Midnight love- it’s girl in love so, you already know how it issss. “I know I don’t want to, be the one that you run to, when you’ve got nowhere else to go, when you need some love.” “I always give in to give you it all.” “I can’t be your midnight love, when your silver is my gold.”

The beach- SUCH A HEATWAVES SONG JUST LISTEN. “I feel it burning me, I feel it burning you.” “I think I can see the beach, I know what’s underneath. I need you here with me,”

Cherry flavored- the neighborhood just.. they have a dnf vibe. “Cherry flavored conversations with you got me hanging on. Down to earth from all the waiting. Take me somewhere beyond.”

Pretty boy- geogre is a pretty boy. point blank period. “Even if my heart stops beating, you’re the only thing I need with me.” “Pretty boy, you did this with me boy.” “As long as I got you, I’m gonna be alright.”

Bad idea- girl in reddd... but like imagine them casually hooking up and not knowing their in love tho. also I feel like they would definitely think that their relationship is a “bad idea” bc they’re stupid. “It was a bad idea, to think I could stop, was such a bad idea, I can’t get enough.” “Darling your so pretty it hurts.”

Line without a hook- ICONIC!! dream definitely does not think that he deserves george. “You can hold my hand if no ones home.” “All my emotions feel like explosions when you are around” “Oh baby I am a wreck without you.” “She’s a, she’s a lady, and I am just a boy. She’s a, she’s a lady, and I am just a line without a hook.”

Say you hate me- mega dream smp vibes as of recently. with the whole removing geogre as king. “I guess that your friends where right, from the start when they thought that I was a bad guy.” “Can you just say that you hate me? Or that you will never love me?” “Never meant to make you leave, never meant to make you cry.”

Cherry bomb- reminds me of how dream cheated on fundy with geogre. “I’m too close to crushing, and I’m too close for comfort I’m rushing.” “I ask how shes so mellow, she tells me her shades are in yellow.”

This side of paradise- I mean, like, kinda heatwaves vibes, but also just them. “Ask me why my hearts inside my throat. I’ve never been in love I’ve been alone.” “If you’re lonley come be lonley with me.”

Linger- geogre literally has that boy wrapped around his finger and I can’t not see it in this song. But when you look into it HELLA dream smp vibes, lyrics can be switched for either perspective here. “You know I’m such a fool for you, you got me wrapped around your finger.” “I thought the world of you, I thought nothing could go wrong, but I was wrong,”

august- i don’t know what is but this song is for them. it just is. “To live for the hope of it all. Cancel plans just in case you'd call” “So much for summer love, and saying “Us” Cause you weren't mine to lose”

I was an island- i just love the idea of them being hardasses and not thinking they need anyone until the other comes into their life and rocks their world. kinda dream smp vibes “I was a fighter, and I was so brave, but I lowered my sword when you held me and swore you’d stay.” “I was a wolf, dear, apart from the pac But you answered my cries in the dead of the night and told me that you had my back,”

Golden- k this one feeds into the “you’re literally the sun in my sky I’m not worthy” feel “I know you were way too bright for me I'm hopeless, broken” “I know that you're scared Because hearts get broken” “I can feel you take control Of who I am and all I've ever known Loving you's the antidote”

Strong- ummm okay but the “we’re better together” dynamic is them “I’m sorry if I say I need ya, but I don’t care I’m not scared of love.” “when I’m not with you I’m weaker is that so wrong? Is it so wrong, that you make me strong.”

Fly out west- the whole, I need to see you, you’re all I think about, stuff gets me. also heatwaves vibe. “Well tell me do you know? You’re all I dream about. Take it from me I’m too dumb to recognize your doubt.”

Cruel summer- them and summer, you dig? “I don’t wanna keep secrets just to keep you.” “I love you and that the worst thing you ever heard?”

Nothings gonna hurt you baby- I put this one on here because of how protective dream is over geogre “Nothing’s gonna hurt you baby, as long as your with me you’ll be just fine. Nothings gonna hurt you baby, nothings gonna take you from my side.”

Cardigan- young love, the kind of lover that makes you feel like you are the most important thing in the world to them “when you are young they assume you know nothing, but I knew you-“ “and when I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone’s bed, you put me on and said I was your favorite.”

Cry baby- them being in that weird stage where they recognize that it might be more than just senseless flirting and they might have feelings but also being paranoid that they’re the only one with feelings uh- “I can taste it my hearts breaking, please don’t say it. That you know, when you know.” “I know I’ll fall in love with you baby, but that’s not what I wanna do baby.”

Speak now- literally the fundy dream wedding. i rest my case. “I hear the preacher say speak no or forever hold your peace.” “Dont say yes runaway now.”

I love you so- this song is cute on the surface but kinda sad once you look into it. it’s kinda about a codependent love that isn’t going well. “I gotta get away and let you go I gotta get over, but I love you so.” “You were cool and I’m a fool so please let me go.”

In conclusion I’d really appreciate if you could check it out :) <3

[ethernetchord]

lets talk: popular iwwv criticism

(disclaimer: i know criticism is subjective and thats why im doing this, i wanna look at some common points made against iwwv and dissect them just a little bit in the opposite direction. also none of this is directed at any individual- it’s all based on the general talking points i’ve seen surrounding the book.)

SPOILER WARNING !!

lack of exploration into james and oliver (+ gay characters feel performative)

i’ve seen loads of people say that oliver and james’ relationship felt very performative, a way of including the queer romnce which clearly is very important to the plot but not actually giving it any space in the novel, nor developing it to the same extent which meredith/oliver was.

oliver and meredith had a very strictly physical relationship and while he did love her, he wasn’t in love with her the way he was with james. the juxtaposition in the way that oliver/james is delivered and the way meredith/oliver is delivered is, i believe, far too repetitive to not be intentional. i actually realised upon re-reading how much focus there really is on meredith’s sexuality, even in subtleties in the book. meredith and oliver get more blatant sex scenes, get more physical parts because oliver was (to an extent) using his attraction to meredith to distract himself from his infatuation with james.

we also have to remember that oliver and james didn’t get their real moment of honesty about their relationship till extremely late into the book. i’d honestly see it as more ‘performative’ to then after or in the middle of kind lear throwing in some wild sex scene between the two. it wouldn't have fit.

“why didn’t james and oliver get together earlier then >:(((“ because the slow burn between them, the subtext, the subtle-ness, the yearning, they were all crucial to the decision which oliver made at the end. the fact that they burned so bright for each other but (oliver particularly) were so desperately repressed, that was what made this such a tragic romance. yes its tiring to read stories about queer people being repressed, yes its tiring to see the bury your gays trope. but like oliver says, it goes beyond gender.

if oliver’s second love interest was a girl, and treated this way, we’d be a lot more on board with these tropes- but the fact that james is a man, and this therefor becomes a queer relationship, makes it feel performative. i can’t convince you of anything- but i like to believe that their relationship being treated like this not only makes it so much more “heart wrenching because why! why couldn’t it work out, why couldn’t it be better!” - not because its a queer relationship but because they were soulmates.

alexander wasn’t performative. not in the slightest, rio just didn’t make being gay his entire identity. same goes for colin. just because they’re queer doesn’t mean it needs to be the only thing about them. this isn’t a lgbt novel- characters dont have to be gay just for plot. they can just be gay.

i’ve also seen people complain about not just making oliver bisexual. guys. did you read the book? he was bisexual. he was emotionally and physically attracted to both meredith and james. guys that’s literally what bisexual means.

i'm totally on board with the coming out scenes! and realisation of feelings and all that stuff- but again, not an lgbt centric novel and also- these were things oliver probably did and realised far before this book. remember that its set in 4th year, at an art school. he knew he was fruity ok. not every queer character in every queer book have to have these grandious coming out scenes or realisations. the lack there of doesn’t equal performance.

the ending was rushed and bad

believe what you will, but i don’t think james is dead. there’s a little too much ambiguity in that ending, in the extract he leaves oliver, in the “his body was never found.” so if your main quarrel with the ending is that “bury your gays” situation- please know there’s a chance- and that giving it that chance opens up so much more discussion and reader response.

yes, the ending is sad. but it’s not rushed. “but that is how a tragedy like ours or king lears breaks your heart- by making you believe the ending might still be happy until the very last second.” doing king lear, doing macbeth, doing romeo and juliet, the plays are chosen not only for reader convenience (they’re plays readers will most likely be familiar with) but also because they all, so very deeply, foreshadow a “bad” ending. killing james, makes sense. as much as people don’t want to hear it, from an authorial perspective- from the reader’s perspective and as a human being it makes sense. why do keep arguing that he “should’ve stayed alive for oliver” or that “if he really loved oliver he wouldn’t have done it” - why are we limiting a character’s entire existence down to their love interest. yes, they were best friends, yes they were set up as lovers but that doesn’t mean that that would be enough to keep james around. james was a fragile character- he was always checking with oliver if he had upset him, he was always worried, overthinking, james wasn’t strong minded- and he was suffering. the only person he had left to depend on was in prison, he was plagued with the guilt of causing the death of a classmate and letting oliver take the blame, if he did kill himself, it sure as hell doesn’t have any reason to sound forced.

“its not nearly as good as the secret history!!!!”

to be honest here buds, why the fuck do we keep comparing them so insistently. they are not the same book. iwwv wasn’t trying to be tsh 2.0, yes there are similarities because hey! guess what! books in similar genres tend to do that! always comparing it tsh when they have different motives, different plots and vastly different execution makes no sense. the only reason that they are compared is because tumblrtm dark academics like to group the two together. and yea- makes sense, but stop trying to belittle iwwv because it isn't as grandiose as tsh, because it’s a little more literal, because it’s not as intertextual as tsh. half the people saying iwwv isn’t as good as tsh are practically just subtly going “shakespeare isn’t as complicated as ancient greek huehue” stop forcing the two together and let them be separately appreciated.

the characters were flat/archetypes/etc

sigh. okay.

these characters are actors. this book shows us their transition from themselves entirely into a conjunction of the roles they’ve played and the stereotypes they’ve portrayed.

“we were so easily manipulated - confusion made a masterpiece of us.”

“for us, everything was a performance”

“imagine having all your own thoughts and feelings tangled up with all the thoughts and feelings of a whole other person. it can be hard, sometimes, to sort out which is which.”

“far too many times i had asked myself whether art was imitating life or if it was the other way around”

“it’s easier now to be romeo, or macbeth, or brutus, or edmund. someone else.”

are you seeing it now? this focus on their archetypes, this focus on the character they are; the way they see themselves not merely as human but as a walking concoction of every character they have turned into and out of. they depend on their archetypes to give them meaning. rio uses these archetypes to remind us of the submersion of her characters. they weren’t flat, their intentional lack of dimension due to their pasts is what makes them so intricate. furthermore, there's an evident subversion- the tyrant becomes a victim, the hero becomes a villain (they all become villains really), the ingenue becomes corrupted. like mentioned before, i think we forget ourselves easily reading this book but there is a great deal of emphasis on this being their last year- which is so important. the damage has been done and a lot of the issues people have with the content (or lack thereof) in this book has to do with the fact that it’s all things that would have occurred in books focusing on previous years at delletcher.

“it didn't live up to expectation” (also leading on from read tsh to this and being ‘disappointed’)

i cant argue this because its entirely subjective. whatever expectation was created for you, i cannot know that and appropriately respond however- if you liked the secret history and understood the secret history then there's a good chance you also liked and understood this book- even if not to the same extent but you must be able to recognize the authorial approach and its significance. i think a lot of ppl read iwwv (and a lot of “dark academia” texts and films) and hope to be able to romanticize the aesthetic or the concepts and then are disappointed when they are presented with mildly unlikeable and overwhelmingly human characters who aren’t easy to romanticize.

a great majority of these books are criticisms of the very culture you’re trying to romanticize, and the only time you’re willing to admit that is when boasting about the ‘self-awareness’ of the people indulging in them, and then a moment later complain about those same qualities because they don’t serve this idealized expectation.

bad rep for arts/liberal arts/ humanities students as being pretentious/cultish

as a humanities student with a great love for eng lit- all of these things are indeed pretentious and cultish. not all the time and not always and not every person- but it is a common theme. academia is overwhelmingly obsessive and extremely white-washed. people become so fast to believe that they are indulging in finer arts and are therefore a higher standard of person. academia is problematic. and the recent influx of people interested in it is good, very good because hopefully, we’ll be more diverse, more open-minded, more accepting. that's what i hope at least. if you know, as an individual, that you’re not a pretentious academic who places themselves above non-academics then that's wonderful- but there are dangers and negative sides to academia that need to be understood so that we can see to not perpetuating them.

i cant refute all points, mostly because there's a lot of good and well-explained criticism because no book is perfect. and my intentions are not to belittle anyone's opinion. these are merely opposing arguments, food for thought and to be fair- a critical look into why not everything is always going to be what we expect of it and why every ‘problem’ can be assessed.

[lunaekalenda]

Can I request a JeanxFem!reader where the reader is super friendly/clingy and isn't conscious of the effects it has on Jean? Like sometimes reader would just grab his hand or hold on to his arm, or even stand in front of him and put his arms around their shoulders? Reader ou does this to Jean bc they're best friends but he will never get used to it bc Jean loves them and is all "asdfghjkl" everytime it happens. But then one day reader stops doing this stuff because someone told her Jean likes them but ONLY bc they look similar to Mikasa, which breaks the Reader's cute lil heart. Angst but fluff at the end please!

hi! of course!! i hope you like it! <3 sorry if i got too fluffy at the end :’)

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❁ jean x female!reader

❁ canonverse

❁ a/n: i didn’t want to make annie like a “villain” but she’s just being really honest with what she thinks about it, she’s not trying to bother her!

❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁

"Jean!" you yell. He smiles at you once he found from where your voice comes, and you run to hug your best friend. His tall body gives you difficulties to reach his neck, but he leans closer to you, his big hands on your waist. His heart flutters happily when he feels your warmth closer to him. 

“How was your training?” he asks. You tangle your arm with his, starting to walk calmly towards the dorms. 

When you entered here, on the military, you wanted to punch him. How he was always feeling superior. You wanted to punch him so bad.

But, after the first battle, where some unlucky friends passed away, he changed abruptly. He understood the pain of the more weak ones, and didn’t vacillate to take risky decisions in due to help the mission. He was made to be a leader, and you two worked hand by hand in the same squad. Thats how, quietly, you started to notice how funny and sweet he is, even when he tries to cover it with his prideful façade. But, since you two got really close, you can even difference what he is feeling, even when he tries so desperately to hide it.

Or so do you think.

One day, when you two were training, Mikasa passed by, following Eren. Jean got his eyes fixed on her black hair.

“You like Mikasa, don’t you?” Connie told him, joking. 

“I-I like her hair, no-o more.” He says. In that times, he was your friend, but you weren’t that close. 

Surprisingly, the more friends you became, the more strange you felt. Why did your heart a flip every time he smiled at you? Why did you felt bad when Mikasa asked something to him?

Maybe you were starting to feel something for him?

“You’re totally into Kirstein.” Petra told you. You enjoyed talking to her, she’s really nice. 

“Shut up, Petra, or else I’ll have to tell you how you look when Capt...”

“Got it!” she interrupted you and you both laughed. It was a quiet afternoon, and you two where sitting on the lake. “I think you should go for him.” she said. 

“He isn’t into me.” you answered. “He likes Mikasa.” Petra looked to the lake.

“Who knows, maybe he does feel the same...”

Petra is really positive, unless you talk about her. Then, she says she has zero opportunities.But, you didn’t want to break your special bond with Jean. That’s why you tried to keep things in a friendship, ignoring your feelings for so long.

“It was fine, yep.” you say. “But I’m hungry.” Your belly confirmes it. He lets out a little laugh.

“Let’s go and eat something first, then.” You smile and, letting go his arm, you tangle your fingers with his, walking with his hand on yours. He blushes a bit. “By the way, tonight we have free time. Do you want to hang?” Today, the Captains of the Squads gave you all free time, celebrating that you all survived another expedition yesterday. 

“Sure.” you pull him softly, his hand caressing yours in an unconscious way while you two walk towards the cantina.

❁❁❁❁ ❁❁❁❁ ❁❁❁❁ ❁❁❁❁ ❁❁❁❁ ❁❁❁❁ ❁❁❁❁ ❁❁❁❁

You feel the cold wind against your skin and wet hair while you walk to the encounter point you agreed with Jean earlier. You found Annie walking back to the dorms.

You and Annie haven’t talked that much, specially since her introverted nature finds your outgoing one terrible.

“Hi, Annie.” you say. She looks at you.

“If you’re searching Jean, he’s talking with Mikasa near Eren’s dorm. Just in case.” She speaks. You maybe looked concerned or down, because she looked at you for a long time. “You know you don’t have opportunities with him, right? He’s not the type of boy to fall in love with.” She says. You look at her back, kinda confused of the words she just said. “He thought he liked you, I’m sure he was confused. But then he realized you look so much like Mikasa, so he just likes the way you look like her. Never thought of it?”

“I do not look like her.” You say. 

“The same black hair that Jean loves. That’s enough for him to remind of her every time he looks at you. She’s out of his league, but maybe you...” Maybe she’s right. After all, he loves Mikasa’s black long hair. She cut it, you still have long hair. But, is all of this the truth? 

“Y/N!” Jean calls you from the place you accorded. Annie waves her hand before disappearing, going back to her dorm.

You walk towards Jean without your usual clingy ways. You walk silently, the sweater hugging your body and your gaze low. Jean is aware of your change of attitude. He gets concerned. What did he do to upset you? Maybe you don’t want to see him again. “Are you okay?” he asks, once you’ve reached him. You nod and fake a smile.

“Annie told me you were talking to Mikasa, so I decided to wait there. I didn’t want to bother.”

“You should had call me, dummy!” he says, colliding his shoulders with yours, playing. “You never bother me, y/n.”

His hazel eyes search any type of reaction on yours, but he only gets your gaze on the floor again. He stops walking and turns you to face him. “Hey, it’s everything okay?” He asks. He has lowered his voice and his tone is way more concerned. You don’t know if his kindness makes you feel good or bad. “Y/N?” He asks again. He just needs to know you’re fine, he needs to hear that nothing happened to you. Maybe, he thinks, you’re just upset with him for some reason he can’t think of. 

“I’m fine.” You’re not. You’ve been binge thinking about what Annie said to you, and you ended believing that maybe that’s true. That you’re just a Mikasa impostor on his heart.

“You’re not fine.” He says. Your skin feels electricity when he holds your hand, trying to avoid you from walking away. He searches your eyes once more, but now, they’re full of tears. His eyebrows move in a worrying expression. “What happened?” He asks. His tone is now sweet, trying to calm you.

“Well, now I know why you always pat my hair.” you say. At the end, the logic Annie followed is totally right, at least in your brain. “It is like touching Mikasa’s, right?”

His expression is now extremely confused. What are you doing bringing up Mikasa in a conversation that has nothing to do with her?

“Mikasa’s?” he asks. You wipe your tears with your hand quickly.

“You liked her when she entered, so probably you keep liking her. And my hair looks exactly like hers. Are you using me?” You ask. Your brain thought all of this in one second, this was kinda messy and you don’t know exactly what is happening. Jean is as confused as you are, he doesn’t know how he made a mistake like that. Make you think he’s in love with Mikasa when he’s in love with you. 

“Listen, Y/N...” he says. This wasn’t the confession scenario he built up in his head, but he needs to clarify things now, before this weird conversation ends with you two ending your friendship. "I did like Mikasa. I liked her when we entered, yes. But it was just a platonic love. We're friends. The point here..."

"I'm your best friend, Jean." you say. "You can tell me if you like her, I'll be okay with that. I gave up on you on any way."

He looks surprised. You liked him? You liked him all this time? As he liked you?

“What?” he asks. “Gave up?”

“I liked you, Jean Kirstein. A lot. My heart was out of my fucking chest every time you hugged me and I couldn’t think straight if your body was behind mine. But you were probably thinking about Mikasa and how beautiful she is...”

“No.” his face is serious when he looks at you. Both of his hands go to your cheeks, taking with his thumbs a couple tears that run fast down to your chin. “Because I couldn’t stop thinking about you.” he says. Your teary eyes look at his, searching a joke or something like that, but his eyes are more serious than ever. “I knew it was maybe a one-sided love, because I thought you’ll never be interested in me. Every time you acted clingy, my heart was about to explode of happiness. I feel so good when you’re around me, y/n...” he passes one lock of your hair behind your ear. “I knew i was in love  because I didn’t care it was one-sided, if you were happy, I was happy. That’s why I got so concerned today. Even knowing maybe it was my fault, I couldn’t see you looking sad. I couldn’t. Because I’m still so madly in love with you, I care about you and your well.being so much that I felt the pain of your eyes myself. Sorry for making you feel that way.”

There’s now a silence between you. Jean is probably giving you space to understand all he said, and your brain is having an emergency reunion. He does like you, and you’re still so in love with him... After all, all that happened was because a misunderstanding from you. You feel so silly now...

“Sorry.” you say. “I misunderstood things.”

“But that’s because I never told you clearly what I felt.”

“It’s all my fault.” you try to convince him that he’s wrong, that you were the one confused. “Now I probably lost all the opportunities to be with you and also our friendship.”

“Don’t be that drama queen, dummy.” he says, his voice a low whisper. “I think we just need to honestly tell each other what do we feel now.” He says. 

Telling the other? Telling what?

“I’ll start, then.” he says, “I fell in love with my clingy best friend and I’m still so in love I wouldn’t mind dating her.”

His words made your heart beat faster. After all, where you hiding feelings that were probably reciprocate? 

Probably.

“Come on, don’t be shy!” He laughs sweetly when he sees your blushed cheeks. His thumb makes soft circles on them. “I don’t know if I’m allowed to say this now, but you’re so fucking pretty...” his gaze gets lost in your face, admiring every single part of it.

“I also still love you, but don’t let your ego raise.” he laughs and so you do. Now, you can look at his face freely, how his hazel eyes have such an intense gaze...

“So, now that this is arranged, why don’t we act as if this never happened and you let me confess in a proper way, hm?”

“Sounds great.”

[yellowbluemoonshine]

The Wrong Way to Put Out Fire

I wanna talk about some details about Touya, Todoroki family and the different situtions Touya and Shouto had.

Touya is introduced us as innocent, nice kid who just wants to enjoy his father.

Thats actually first difference we saw between Touya and Shouto. Sometimes children fond of one of their parents more than other one. For Touya, he was daddy’s boy. Shouto is more like mommmy’s boy. (Even their clothes are parallels. Fire, ice. Daddy, mommy.)

And let me say this;

This marriage was wrong to begin with. Quirk marriage, the fact that Endeavour decided to put his ambitions on his children is wrong.

But as a first born, for Touya, his family was normal. Children dont magically understand what is right or wrong.

He simply saw that he got his father’s attention and it made him really really happy. Training was the bond he had with his father. Touya’s thoughts probably like; I am daddy’s son, my father is really happy when i become more strong etc etc.

Even he realize his family is different from other people, he probably simply thought that it might be different but its their thing. This is why we saw Touya as happy. Touya felt special when he got his father’s all attention.

And Touya saw his mother is okay with it. He probably saw that many times even when father being disrespectfull, mom doesnt seem to mind that much. This is probably why he starts to looks down on his mother too. Its just children dont respect adults who dont respect theirselves. If child think he can get away with it, they would simply do it. Mommy allows daddy to be the boss of the house, mommy allows daddy’s to be disrespectfull to herself so its ok to disrespectfull to mommy too. Thats how children think in those situtions.

What was Shouto’s difference then?

Shouto as last born, he never think his family is normal or this sitution is okay cause when Shouto is born, everyone in family already starts to break down. Mommy wasnt okay at all.

Endeavour put his own ambitions on Touya’s shoulders, he gave him impossible expectations which is literally name of the chapter. Wrong way to put out the fire. Those impossible expectations is abuse, btw.

Everything started cause Endeavour put out fire on wrong place, his family.

And after Touya failed, he was thrown away. Touya probably felt like; his father took him to the highest hill of the building, made him feel special but then threw him down.

Touya started to get the attention he had at first place to the point he started to burn himself over and over again. Look at how terryfying he looks when his brothers were born...

At this point, he understand he is replacable which made him question why was he born at first place.

Of course, Touya wouldnt listen Endeavour when he said ‘there is a life outside of being a hero’ cause Endeavour himself doesnt live his life like that. Children arent stupid, they observe adults’s actions too. Endeavour’s words condract with his actions thats why his words didnt reach out to Touya.

Touya was in a lot of pain to the point his heigh stopped growing (Look how he is shorter than his siblings), burns himself, his hair starts to change probably cause he used his quirk too much, he even starts to pull his hair which is sign of suicide. He was literally small kid who was mentally breaking down and he expressed his pain every way he can do but he was ignored.

Fuyumi-chan didnt understand him. Natsuo-kun doesnt listen him either. (Touya thought Fuyumi-chan didnt understand her cause she is girl but the reason she and Natsuo doesnt understand is they didnt have the same expectation at first place.)

And mommy is at fault too cause she is the one who allowed daddy to raised him like this at first place. She is the one the accepted this marriage, she is responsible too.

For a child, to be understood is very important thing but they didnt get it. He realized his siblings dont understand him. Even though, Touya was so mentally unstable to the point he attack his baby brother, his parents still didnt get him help or didnt specifically take care of him, instead they constantly ignore him. They kept telling him to forget what happenned and look other way.

This is exactly why Touya couldnt hold on something else cause in deep, he knows only way to be seen is prove himself.

For Touya, his mother didnt there for him. His mother allowed this to happen too. This is why his situtions are opposite of Shouto’s.

Touya thought family is normal, his daddy loves him, this is why training was fun.

This is why he end believing everything Endeavour taught him. Even he uses same words, literally in same chapter.

‘I live in different world from others.’

Shouto realized family isnt normal and father is the one who make everyone unhappy. This is why he hated training cause he realized father is forcing him.

For Touya, mother wasnt there for him and ignored his pain.

For Shouto, his mother was there for him, this is why she became his emotional support.

This is also why Shouto tried to protect mom cause Rei at this point was really in pain and she was reaching her breaking point. Mommy is there for me, i love mommy but dad make mommy upset, dad is the bad guy here.

Meanwhile for Touya, he didnt really see his mom as sad, he saw her being okay with sitution, thats why he probably think that the way Endeavour treat her as normal cause she accepted this sitution.

All those opposite situitons made them think opposite way. Not because one is good or bad, its just they had different kind of abuse. (Also hair symbolism is nice parallel too).

Though despite opposite situtions, they were also similar too. They were so cold child soldiers who only think about getting revenge from father, just opposite way cause Shouto has.

Touya waited his father to come forest to watch him but Endeavıur didnt come until Touya was burn to death.

Touya’s death wasnt just an accident but its both also suicide and murder. Touya was suicidal, he kept burning himself but parents didnt look at him and Endeavour is the one who push him this mental state. Even Touya says himsef;

 ‘After all, the only  thing he taught me was how to turn up the heat’

Touya had to burn and reborn to get daddy’s attention again but even after his death, he was hardly mentioned by his family. I mean if Dabi never become a villain, they wouldnt even discuss this case as family.

And i honestly dislike how Todoroki handle this sitution.

Rei says everyone is responsible but Shouto, Fuyumi and Natsuo were children, its not their fault. Rei is at fault for not being there for Touya and Endeavour is the most at fault for making Touya mentally unstable. I hate how children carry the mistakes of Endeavour, it wasn their fault.

And with their talk, they made it sound like Shouto is better than Touya cause look, he became a hero and he forgave them!

I mean, Shouto didnt have much choice cause Endeavour forced him to be a hero. Even Endeavour wasnt there, Shouto had emotional support (mom) and inspiration (allmight) to be hero, he also has strong qurik so no wonder he can be hero, you know. But Touya didnt have any of it. He didnt have emotional support, inspiration to be better or strong quirk.

Not even need to mention how both Early-Shouto and Dabi obsess with revenge, cold child soldiers who dont pay attention to people around them. Just Shouto was in better environment and then he met Deku and he started to heal.

Even Shouto saw himself in Dabi, how he could be like him but he was lucky to be saved. Even their wound smbolically shows their pain. For Shouto, it was boiling water but for Touya, it was very strong fire that will burn him to dush.

Yeah, Dabi is villain but even so. To Deku, Shigaraki is completely stranger but he still thoguht that he needs to be saved. Meanwhile, Todoroki family knew what happenned to Touya. They are personally involved with him but i found it weird it how they didnt mention about ‘saving him’.

I mean maybe thats what they will try eventually but still....i think heroes are good, villains are bad sitution contnues even in this sitution cause they say Dabi is the one who needs to be stopped and Endeavour is the one who take a hand.

Shouto needs to offer that hand to Dabi, not Endeavour cause the one who needs to be saved is Dabi/Touya, not Endeavour. 

Not to mention how Best Jeanist and Hawks coldy listen sitution.

I guess, even after this, they still dont really look at Dabi’s pain cause if they saw it, at least they would talk about helping him more than stopping him...what a tragedy.

Touya, after everything he had been through is still ignored, even by his own family, remind me of Tenko’s sitution :’))).

[youranxiousnerd]

The Transformation Thoughts

bc hsmtmts said gay rights

spoilers below

yesss seb doing the recap

wait did seb just say he was crying?!?! give him a hug 

cow baby!!!

wow miss jenn and seb having a civil conversation

Natalie is back!!

ej and ricky with the mask

kourtney’s outfit!!!

ashlyn’s outfit...

ahh so the awards and the show are separate, good, that’s how it works

RICKY’S SHIRT!?!?!?! 

i love it

ricky is lgbt do not try to convince me otherwise

ASHLYN IS SINGING IT IS BEAUTIFUL

like pop off

ricky and the mask

that mask is the true villain in season 2

“Belle, I-” flops

Ashlyn is carrying the scene, she is such a good Belle

how is ricky allowed on stage oh my god

the cap

that damn mask

“It’s okay, it was just my face”

Miss Jenn is hanging on by a thread

finally some ashlyn and ricky content

“Which they will” buddy have you faced the music? Have you seen Ricky?

“I think I might have been playing Troy at one point”

Miss Jenn needs help from someone who isn’t a teenager

“Mother is freaking out” High school theater at it’s finest

“There is math involved”

“OH” 

sassy seb

i can’t with east high’s tech crew, what are you doing?!?!

and why are the actors figuring out the tech stuff?!? i’m sure kourt, big red, ashlyn (she knows all), and seb (he lives on a farm) know what to do. 

the crew cannot be that bad

btw here are my thoughts on this scene

guys it is ashlyn’s house not yours

portwell shoulder bump

ASHLYN I LOVE YOU

OH SO NOW YOU HAVE DRILLS

WHERE WERE THEY WHEN THE TECHIES STARTED USING GLUE ON PLYWOOD!?!?!?!

I WANT ANSWERS

i. cannot. with. this. show.

lily wtf

“is this too weird” yes

like why?

lily like actually shut up

big red’s “wtf”

let her be evil damnit

“i’m just not well liked here” i wonder why

that was really weird, anyways

“he gets weird around tools”

me too

no give big red the drill he knows how to use it

someone write a fic about the girls and seb’s chaotic target run

why don’t you have a blackout and dramatic music and lights for the transformation, i know it isn’t award level but if done right it can be pretty dope

“I don’t know if my parents will be okay with me being at a co-ed sleepover”

“Chip, this is your mother speaking, go call your mother”

HE DID THE FINGER GUNS

GAY TABLE SIT AND FINGER GUNS THEY DID THEIR RESEARCH

ashlyn’s bucket

CARLOS GAY TABLE SIT

OH MY GOD

they’re so gay soulmates

let big red have his skateboards

“i need to talk to seb at some point but it can wait” honey no it can’t wait seb is on the verge of a breakdown

wait they havent talked in a week

Im a hypocrite ive been dancing around someone for three years

“You’re still at school”

“I’m worried about my children” “She means us”

such a high school theater thing (like i got married during high school theater, we had a family tree)

“ah, Sebby”

“Now I’m pretty sad” give him a hug

the girls ship seblos

“But, I guess he has to be, out of default, right... there’s not a lot of choices for a boy like Carlos, here, at East.”

alright here come the tears 

why...why couldn’t he say “gay” or “queer” or “lgbt”?!?!

“Not so good at saying the feelings part out loud”

shiz that hit close to home. 

Seb is just making me cry today, isn’t he?

wait so we’re just going to change the subject? coming from a queer person, opening up about your problems about your sexuality is hard. like, there are things that happened years ago im just telling people. 

“You’re my sister, he’s my cousin”

it seems everyone except nina knows about the chocolates. imagine gossip time when gina told people write a fic

Nini just stop talking. It wasn’t a big deal, simple mistake. Not everything has to be big and dramatic

and wasn’t she just asking about Gina and Ej? 

Nini for the love of god it is not something to read into.

“The farmer type”

Ash and Red exchanging gossip

wait... why are they texting about this?

“Why wouldn’t he say something to me?” It’s a hard conversation to have. “hey are we together just because i’m your only option?” 

“Okay, pretty boy” HE CALLED HIM PRETTY BOY

RICKY!!!!!!!!!!

!!!

carlos and gina chaotic siblings

give ej a hug 

“Sweet boy”

im so glad the guys are talking about their feelings.

Why a sleepover? It’s more of a hangout.

“Verging on failure”

jennzara therapy

slowwww burn

you go from hand holding to fist bump

disney please release an acoustic version of “let you go”

so it’s just carlos and ricky chillin’ at big red’s house?

do not play let you go for nini

do. not.

“You guys are a hallmark movie”

for once ricky is being smart

“the look on your face when you were talking about Seb tonight” smiles

he is so whipped

“I think you and Seb have something worth fighting for...bro”

that was so sweet and then there is bro

i love this show

“Sorry, I’m adjusting to being called bro” 

him and seb being awkward about feelings... that is a high school relationship

i love ricky in this scene

“Yeah, let’s just write”

ASHLYN CALLED BIG RED BABE AWWWWW

nina shut the actual hell up

“It’s in the costume shop, somewhere” mood

“Thank you, 15″ THEY SAID THE THING

GAHHHH

I LOVE IT

howie and kourtney oh my god what is happening

 “and begging”

“hi” he’s so nervous oh my lord.

he is so awkward around seb 

it’s like a switch

“Do you want to get risotto with me sometime” OH MY GOD THATS ADORABLE

GINA BABY HE LIKES YOU 

GINA HONEY!!!

AWWW THAT WAS ADORABLE

PORTWELL YESSSS

gina’s little run

“Am I in trouble?” 

they’re so nervous 

oh my god its time

“You keep it all bottled up” GUYS I CANT ARGGGG

can ricky just like, go behind a curtain?

“lookin’ for our kind of love” carlos basically just said “i love you”

seb is so whipped like look at him?

they’re so in love

seb’s little eye role at “in a heartbeat, i choose you”

the hands omfg

oh my god they’re going to dance

SHIZ THE HOMECOMING SUITS

I WAS RIGHT

OH MY GOD

SHIT GUYS IM DYING

gah the hands i cant

carlos is leading i love it

the tie

a tie just killed me

im combusting

You’re honor, they’re in love

i really thought carlos was going in for a kiss he is probably getting one later

i like how the dance isn’t big, it’s small and a little awkward bc right then it’s just them.

THEYRE SO IN LOVE HOLY SHIT

damnit big red

big red is legally required to interrupt almost kiss moments especially if it’s an lgbt kiss bc we cant have two in one season

in a heartbeat is so cute. Frankie showed UP this season with the vocals. there is no way that was all acting bc they looked so in love.

I...I love it

the lyrics are perfect

In a Heartbeat and Let You Go are probably the best OG songs of the season

“Siri, add In a Heartbeat to my gay sob playlist”

these boys are just serenading each other left and right 

“Yeah” 

so it’s just “yeah”!?!? That’s it!?!?! Seb could have least kissed him on the cheek or did they use all their kisses?

I love the song and love the scene, but there is so much more to discuss. Are we going to brush over the fact that Seb literally had an allergic reaction and didn’t get help because he didn’t want to disappoint Carlos!?!? Are we going to brush over “no, seb” and seb feeling like he has to get carlos big things!?! One “yeah” doesn’t erase all that. I’m hoping we get closure, proper closure, not a joke. 

In conclusion, only one thing was settled (Carlos loves Seb for Seb, not because he is the only out guy in school).

“Seb and Carlos suffer their first fight” effing liars

BTW it looks like they filmed the dance scene with the homecoming suits and normal outfits so disney release the footage

Ricky is the biggest Seblos shipper

“Bro”

you morons. are you using rigging without an adult there?!?!

im pretty sure that isn’t allowed. only trained people were allowed to use the rigging. it should be Natalie since she did it in HSM

you should have gotten mats are something or stand in a circle

gahhh

RICKY

OH MY FRICKING GOD

NO ONE RAN THEY JUST WATCHED WTF

WTF WAS THAT ENDING

UMMMMM NO

i legit have no words oh my god 

they just killed the lead

you guys saw the rope you should have ran 

you should have gotten mats or blankets or something just in case

rigging is difficult, set rigging and people rigging

EAST HIGH WTF

Looks like the sleepover is going to be in the ER

My gay heart is full but my theater heart is screaming. The episode went by really fast. I liked it, like a lot.

To answer the question, no, I am not okay @organic-guacamole and we will have a theater kid sleepover

[nasaty]

Vieux Carré

Shouta Aizawa x (she/her) reader. Angst, fluff, and smut! This is a choose your own ending! There are three separate endings and a few choices. 15 part series.

TW: Panic attack things. Ends up fine.

Ch. 5

The next morning, you found yourself thinking of him as you woke up. You picked up your phone and dialed his number.

“Hey Eraser. You around today?”

“Of course. I’ll make my self around for you.”

His deep voice made you shutter. God, he was such a flirt. Maybe he just does this to all women, or men, or anyone. Maybe he just does it to be an ass.

“I’m working again tonight if you and Hizashi want to come by later.” You offered.

“We’ll come before patrolling tonight this time so we don’t end up ditching you again.” You could practically hear him wink.

“Okay, well we don’t open until 6pm”

“That’s alright, we don’t patrol till 11 tonight anyway.”

“Damn that sucks. You really have no time to sleep.”

“Yeah…I only really sleep in between school and patrol…if you don’t count my naps in class,” he mumbled.

You giggled, “So you usually sleep around the time you’re going to come to the bar then? Will you be okay?”

“Oh yeah I’m always tired. It’s okay. I’ll have someone do a presentation in class tomorrow while I sleep.”

“HAH is that what thats for?”

“Absolutely, I don’t really trust anyone else to teach my kids for me.”

Somehow that seemed kind of sweet. Maybe recovery girl was right, he is a softy.

“So you really like teaching then?”

“Oh absolutely not.”

You cracked up. You could tell he was beaming on the other side of the phone.

“Well maybe I’ll get to hear about it tonight then.”

“We’ll see.” He brings back that playfulness again.

“I’ll talk to you later, Eraser.”

“Please, call me Shouta”

“Alright, Shouta, see you later tonight.”

“See you tonight, y/n.”

The sound of his voice saying your name made you feel warm.

~~~~~~

The evening came and you made your way to the bar. You flipped the sign over for the nth time in your life, and couple minutes later Hizashi and Shouta showed up followed by another woman.

She was tall with legs for days, dark hair down to her ass and was wearing a skin tight suit, visually differed quite a bit from the two men. She’s intimidatingly attractive and has a sultry look on her face. You couldn’t tell if you want to fuck her or be her.

“HEYYY y/n!!! This place is NEAT. Hope it’s okay that we brought a friend, she’s a hero too. Her name is Midnight.”

“So you guys travel in packs?” You joke.

Hizashi laughed loud and hard and smacked his knee. The other two chuckled and Shouta plugged his ear that was closest to Hizashi with his finger. You turned to Midnight.

“Nice to meet you Midnight, I’m y/n.” You held your hand out to shake.

“Please, call me Nemuri. Or anything you’d like, I’ll listen to you call me whatever you want-“ you blushed she turned your hand and pulled it to her to kiss it -

Shouta’s hand flew in and smacked Nemuris away. He rolled his eyes “Nemuri, keep yourself off of her please.” He looked even more tired that usual somehow.

“Oh I’m sure she doesn’t mind…” she winked at you, then leaned over to Hizashi. “Did you already call dibs or something?” She tries to ask him quietly. Hizashi opens his mouth to speak but is interrupted.

“Nemuri. She is a person.” Shouta breathed.

You giggle at their back and forth and change the subject, “What would you guys like to drink?”

Hizashi got some sort of fruity drink and Nemuri copied him. They had halfway downed it before you got to Shouta. Shouta said he didn’t need anything.

“Shouta come on, just because you were a shit last time doesnt mean you can’t have something today” you teased.

“LAST TIME?” Hizashi exclaimed.

“Oh so YOU called dibs.” Nemuri deduced looking at Shouta.

Shouta looked at them surprised and shrunk down in his seat, blush across his face. He was so shy around everyone else it was surprising he said so much to you.

“He showed up the other night and made himself a drink, it was pretty funny.” You told them.

They both turned to him with their jaws on the floor. He deserved this. You got put on the spot multiple times the other day and covered for him, so he could take a little teasing from his friends tonight.

“Daaaaamn Eraser, that’s bold!” Hizashi said.

As they were relentlessly teasing him, you looked over to Shouta and tried to determine what kind of drink he may like. Probably something with coffee in it for tonight.

You made him a White Russian and slid it over to him with a smirk. He mouthed a ‘thank you’ as they continued to berate him. You kept working as a couple other customers were in the bar, but the bar was never busy, especially on a cold night like this.

They spend time joking around and teasing, inviting you into conversation whenever there was a lull in work to do. They drank a few drinks and ended with some waters, paid out their tab and tipped generously.

“We gotta do this again sometime, y/n!” Nemuri says.

“Yeah next time let’s go somewhere where you don’t have to work!” Hizashi adds.

“See ya around” Shouta breathed as all three of them walked out.

You finished your shift at around 4am, later than usual but there were a few people hanging around late and you didn’t mind since you didn’t work the next day. You closed up, cleaned up, and went out the back door to walk home. You heard a voice from nowhere.

“Could I walk you home?” In the distance, Shouta emerged from the shadows. You jumped, it had reminded you of the night when you met and that villain attacked you.

“Shit Shouta…you scared the shit out of me…” You tried to calm down but your body disobeyed you and you started shaking.

“Heh I didn’t think I was that scary-“ He stopped and noticed your behavior. “Are you okay…?” He made his way towards you cautiously and gently.

“I….no…I don’t know...” your face went hot and tears stung your eyes. You sat on the ground to get your bearings. Your stomach twisted. Shouta ran over to you as you fell.

“Can I…?” He held his hands near each of your shoulders to ask permission to touch you but you nodded before he could even finish asking. He put his hands on either side of you and rubbed your arms up and down slowly, “it’s okay….everything is okay… I’m so sorry.”

You sat on the ground with your arms wrapped around yourself and tried to steady your breathing.

He pleaded. “Can I do anything to help? Do you want me to shut up?”

You shook your head no at both questions. He was actually helping just a little. It’d been a long time since you’d had a panic attack.

As you both sat on the ground outside the back of the bar in the dim light for a few minutes, he continued to soothe you with his words and held you in his arms.

After some time you calmed down a little and were able to speak, “We need to put a bell on you or something.”

He chuckled and gave you a pitiful smile. “I can live with that... What’s going on, do you want to talk about it?” He said as he pushed a hair away from your face.

You shake your head no, “I’m okay…thank you for taking care of me.”

“Of course, it’s my job.” he winked.

“No it’s not.”

“No…it’s not. But I’ll do it anyway. Can I please give you a walk home?” He asked.

You appreciated that he asked to just walk with you rather than assuming or asking if you wanted assistance. Of course you didn’t want it, you didn’t want it to be necessary. But unfortunately it was as you had seen before.

“Yes please.”

He stood and held out his arms out to you to help you up.

“Are you good to walk?”

“Yeah… I think I’m fine.”

You started to walk home in still silence for a few minutes.

“…I thought you were on patrol? That’s not a long shift,” you asked.

“Hizashi and I overlap…and…I was worried about you.”

“What happened to ‘seems like you could handle it’?”

“You shouldn’t have to handle it.”

Damn. He actually listened to you.

“I…thank you.” You said.

“Anytime.” He offered. His voice was so pure and caring you could melt.

As you made it back to your house, he walked you to the door.

“We’ll have to do this again sometime. Well not …this specifically..just like-“

You laughed “I get it, Shouta.” He smiled.

On the porch, you gazed at each other softly for a moment, and somehow it wasn’t awkward. You realized that you want to kiss him. Badly.

“I…uh…” not knowing what to say, you just moved forward to lean against his chest and kiss him. Slow enough that he could step back if he didn’t want to, but, he didn’t step back.

He kissed very gently. His lips were slightly chapped but soft, and his stubble grazed against your chin. He reached up slowly to hold your face in his hand, resting his thumb on your jaw. You eventually pulled away.

He hummed. “…I’ve been wanting to do that for a while,” he admitted, blushing and looking away.

“Do you want to come inside?” You said, turning and putting your keys in the lock. ‘Maybe I could’ve worded that differently’ you thought.

“I would, but ….I think you’re a little too fragile tonight. I don’t want to take advantage of your emotions like that. Maybe another night if you still want me to? Sorry if that’s….rude.”

“Thank you, Shouta.” You beamed.

“What did I do?” He sounded excited to have done some good.

“You’re just…sweet.”

He blushed and hummed happily.

“I’ll see you around, y/n. Call me if you need anything.”

“Goodnight Shouta.”

“Goodnight.”

Go to ch. 6

[xoxo-teddybear]

Oh, The Lies You Tell - Bakugou Katsuki - pt.4

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: angst, trauma, abuse, betrayal, fluff, slice of life, smut, cursing, manipulation, possible spoilers, physical harm, 18+

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

Ep. Warnings: cursing, small angst

Summary: after getting caught by dabi, Y/N’s been extra cautious ESPECIALLY with Bakugou. She’s still trying to figure out her feelings about..well, EVERYTHING and so to cope, she blocks out everything and isolates.

Pt.1 Pt.2 P.3 P.4 Pt.5 Pt.6 Pt.7 Pt.8 Pt.9

A/N: Kinda short, Sorry :P

Bakugou’s POV

After spending all that time with Y/N, I could definitely say I like her. Like...LIKE HER like her. She’s..amazing. She has to be one of the top fighters in our class, she’s beautiful and has an incredible body. Her voice is like honey and she has this smile..that’s just..wow. Besides her physical, her as a person is incredible. She’s a good listener, she’s so open minded, she’s respectfully honest, and she brings out the better me.

I’ll admit, I’m pretty strict on following rules. I need to make a good name for myself out in the hero world. But Y/N has a delinquent past. She teaches me to risk it with the stupid rules and just enjoy life as a teen. Not only that, but considering she’s a little rebel herself, she can get out of hand sometimes. So she has me to keep her from going over the cliff. We’re a perfect balance for each other.

.....We’re perfect for each other.

No one’s POV

The morning after your little rendezvou with Bakugou, you woke up in heartache. You were so confused on why. Was it because you were something you’re not to everyone? Was it because you were doing this for the league more than for yourself? But you weren’t dumb. You knew the answer. Or rather, answers. Firstly, it’s because you knew you weren’t enjoying yourself by going through with this plan. It didnt feel right. Second, Bakugou. As scared as you were to admit it..you liked him. You really liked him.

That fact terrified you. You didn’t grow up around love. You grew up around hatred, bloodshed, violence, and fear. For your entire life, everything was all about survival. Even when you had a “steady” home with the league. But Bakugou came into the picture and threw you off. With him, he gave you a sense of security and peace. A warm feeling inside your heart that became more addicting than any drug. Yes, you enjoyed it but at the same time, it confused you. You weren’t sure how to deal with these emotions. You weren’t even sure if you deserved to be blessed with these emotions. With Katsuki.

You were and are a villain. You are the high ranking villain, Titania, and you are on a mission to take down UA from the inside. You were a villain, and you knew your place. A killer, a criminal, a thief, a menace like you didn’t deserve these feelings of..love. You didn’t even know how to handle them. So you did what you thought was best no matter how bad it hurt you.

When you walked into the hallway that your dorm opens up to, you were gifted with the surprise of Katsuki being there, waiting for you.

“Hey Princess,” he began but looked down to your side. “Princess and Rumor.” He said as he chuckled and petted Rumor’s head. Rumor smiled up at the familiar blonde and barked in happiness. Those two got along so well. “So I was thinking we could walk to class together.”

“Sorry...but..no. Come Rumor.” You said and turned away as you cringed at yourself in regret. Rumor followed you, along with Bakugou.

“Heh..sure princess. Try again.” He said thinking you were just messing around. Except, you didn’t answer him. You just kept walking with a blank look on your face, as if he wasn’t even around. Your entire persona was just..off? No playful remarks, no sass or attitude, no teasing mannerisms. It wasn’t you. “Hey, Y/N.”

He tried to put his hand on your shoulder but you sped up and walked out the doors with Rumor leaving Bakugou in confusion and hurt.

‘Did I do something wrong?’ Bakugou released a quiet whine to your behavior and just shook his head and continued to walk to school.

When he arrived in the class, you had already been seated. Thankfully, your desk was next to his so he could try speaking to you then. He firstly walked to you and tried getting some sort of conversation out of you.

“So..what do you think is gonna happen today?” He asked. Even he thought it was a pathetic question but at least it was something.

“Not sure.” You blatantly replied.

“Oh...okay well, uh, Shitty hair and I were planning on getting a workout in later, do you wanna join us?” He asked again.

“I’ll be training with Rumor today and thats all.” You said.

“Nice....you uh, mind if we join you?”

“No.”

“Uh....okay. Cool...........Y/N, listen I-“

“Take your seat Bakugou. Class is starting.” Mr. Aizawa said. Bakugou reluctantly took his seat but not before looking towards you with desperate eyes for at least something more than what you were giving him. But nothing came.

Class went on and Bakugou tried to focus as best as he could, but with the girl he was falling for completely brushing him off, he was in a silent frenzy. Bakugou and you had a thing during class hours. When you guys were dying to talk to each other, you would pass little notes to each other’s desks and continue with that. So he did his usual notes with you and passed one your way. It’s said ‘are you doing okay, Princess?’ But when he tossed it onto your desk, you left the crumpled piece of paper there as you continued listening to Mr. Aizawa.

Since you didn’t reply, he sent another one your way. This time, making sure it hit you a little bit to get your attention but once again, nothing.

‘Wtf’ Bakugou thought. He assumed you were just having a bad morning so even though it hurt him, he left you alone to cool off. I mean, it’s not like he was the only one you weren’t speaking to. You were practically ignoring everybody’s existence.

Lunch rush came and Bakugou was a little relieved. Y/N always say next to him no matter what happened. Even on those quiet days where she didn’t speak a lot during that time, he was glad she was still there and would occasionally join in on the conversation just like he did. But you didn’t come this time. Bakugou waited and when he finally saw you walking towards the table, he smiled and spoke.

“Hey Princess! About time you-“ but before he could continue, you kept your head straight and kept walking, not even sparring the table a glance. He watched you walk on and sit at a lonely table. No one was there. It was just you and Rumor. Bakugou stared from afar and after waiting for a few minutes and giving you multiple concerned stares every now and then, he finally got up to walk to you. Before he could even leave his seat though, Kirishima held him back.

“Don’t man, give her some time. She needs a break.” Kirishima said.

“From what exactly? If you know something, you should tell me now! Cuz if there’s something messing with her, tell me so I can kill it.” Bakugou replied. He was a little hurt thinking that you told Kirishima your problems and not him but he was really more concerned with what’s bugging you. What the hell was bothering you so much? Whatever it was, he’ll make sure it stops.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with her, but it’s obvious she doesn’t wanna speak to anyone right now. Just let her stick by Rumor and be at peace for the day. Or at least until she’s feeling better.” Kirishima explained. And Bakugou knew he was right, so with a stubborn groan he sat back down and just continued to stare.

The day went on and Bakugou let you be. But it was definitely killing him on the inside. He struggled to hold himself back whenever he saw you in a room but he did restrain himself. Once in the common rooms, he noticed you didn’t even bother to stay for a minute. You went straight to your dorm even though Rumor stayed to play with Kaminari and Sero. You spent all day in there and only opened the door to Rumor. When you finally came out, it was to grab a plate of dinner for you and Rumor. You didn’t even stay to eat, you brought the food to you room and that was the last time Bakugou saw you that day. This whole thing was killing him, but what he didn’t know was that from the privacy of your room, your own tears fell much heavier than Bakugou’s.

When Y/N entered her dorm room and placed the plates of food on her table side, she sat on the side of the bed with her head hanging low, casting a shadow to fall over her face. She gripped her bed sheets and she held back sobs. Her teeth grinding against each other in frustration as her eyes squeezed shut to attemp to stop the flooding tears but to no avail. As her hiccups left her voice, Rumor came to place his head on her lap to calm her down. She placed one hand over her mouth to silence herself and calm down as she rubbed Rumor’s soft fur. She eventually gave in and sat on the floor, hugging and holding onto the giant wolf-dog.

“T-This isn’t our place Rumor...this isn’t where we belong. We’re v-villains....we don’t deserve the good they’re giv-ing us.” You sobbed out as you cried into his side.

“I d-don’t belong here!” You cried out. You sobbed into your mattress as Rumor waited for you on the side. He didn’t know what to do with his best friend being so distraught. Your continuous sobs went on for a few hours into the night. Rumor stayed right by your side through it all. The silence that filled your room was so loud and head ringing, it was almost torture. In a quiet voice, you whispered only to remind yourself a fact that Dabi had told you.

“I don’t deserve him.”

——————————————————————————

“ARGHHH!” Bakugou screamed as he snapped his pencil in anger. Y/N and Rumor just walked passed the group and went to Y/N’s dorm in silence. The Bakusquad looked at the ash blonde in concern. They knew how this boy felt. Y/N’s been avoiding him like the plague and Bakugou can’t get her off his mind.

When you completely ignored his presence, it put Bakugou into a state of sadness. Whenever he tried to talk to you, he was given brief answers followed with your dismissal. He tried doing favors for you, making time to hang out again, and asked to train with you which resulted in him getting rejected each time. It was driving him mad and he just wanted to be around you again.

“I still don’t get why the hell she’s acting like this! When we hung out, everything was perfect! What the fuck is going on with her?!” He shouted in anger. When Y/N is around, Bakugou gets this warm feeling inside that he’s learned to love. Now the girl is never around and he’s bursting in anger at every little thing. Can you blame him? He’s kind of hurt. The girl he’s in like with doesn’t even acknowledge him when she passes by anymore. He misses you. A lot.

“Well why don’t you ask her?” Kirishima questioned.

“Because I-.........actually, that’s a good idea.” Bakugou said as he dropped everything to run up to your dorm and talk. How could he have been so dumb? Listening to Shitty hair. All that hair dye is messing with his brain and local advice. He couldn’t believe he had really left you alone in pain for a whole day. Now, he was gonna get to the bottom of this one way or another. When he made it there, he began banging on your door without even giving it a second thought.

“Y/N! Open up, c’mon! I know you’re in there.” He said on the other side. In the comfort of your bed you poked your head out of the covers and reluctantly got out. You knew he wouldn’t stop till he got his answers. So you went to open the door and put on the best smile you could.

“Hi Katsuki,” you said with a huff. “Look, I’ve been having a really bad headache so if you don’t mind-“

“Nope,” he interrupted and just pushed open the door to get inside. How charming. He walked in and you just rolled your eyes and sighed. You shut the door and turned to him. “You can’t lie to me about some headache Y/N, I know it’s not the truth. You’ve been avoiding me and I wanna know why.”

“It’s nothing personal, I just..needed some time.” You said, looking everywhere but at him. A silence entered the room. Not the comforting silence it usually is with you two, more of the nervous kind. Bakugou thought about what he would say next..he didn’t even know if it was okay to say. But he did it anyway.

“Is it...me? Did I do something wrong?” You looked at him with a shocked face as he continued, “‘cuz if it was me, then... I’m sorry. I’m new to this whole..whatever we have going on, but I’m really trying here and I-...I don’t know, I thought that night we went out was pretty good, but I can do better if you jus-“

“Katsuki, hey no, stop that,” you said as you walked up to him. “This has nothing to do with you messing up or anything. That night was amazing, you are amazing, and everything that’s happened between us so far has been..amazing.” You confessed.

“So then...why? Why all the distance? Why do you avoid me?....what happened?” Bakugou asked as he got closer. If something was wrong, he genuinely wanted to help you out of it. You just laughed a little before you spoke, realizing how cliche you were gonna sound.

“Look, it’s not you, it’s me. I’ve just been going through something..life changing, and I don’t really know who I am yet. I just..needed a break from everything. Especially you.” You said as you looked him in his eyes.

“Especially me? Why?” He asked. The amount of nerves that hit you all at once was ridiculous. You could confess right here right now and rip off the bandaid. Or you could lie your way out and save yourself the embarrassment. You bit your lip and tilted your head towards the ceiling for a second in exhaustion before speaking.

“Because.....Ugh! I like you, all right? A lot. You..you’re really cute, and fun, and there’s just all these amazing things about you annddd..” as you spoke you looked at his face and he started to grow a small smile as he looked at you with that cocky look and a slightly raised brow, “stop doing that!” You said and smacked his shoulder.

“Ow, what?” He laughed out. “Stop doing what?”

“That! That stupid face that you do when you look at me with that smile and face when you just...and..you....you just-.....Umm..uh..” you trailed off from your sentence as Bakugou leaned down into your face, resting his forehead on yours.

“And..?” He asked.

“And...and no free compliments!” You said as you pushed his shoulder and turned to your side. He chuckled at the way you pouted and crossed your arms. “Look, we’ve established that I like you Katsuki,”

“Keep going, I like what I’m hearing,” he said with a grin and his hands in his pockets.

“And that’s the problem.”

“Okay, stop. I don’t like it anymore.” He said and looked to the side with a grouchy face. You laughed and walked up to him and pulled at his arms.

“No, seriously,” you said with a laugh, “I like you, but that’s the problem. Where I’m from...it’s..different. I never really got to explore emotions like this..so..I don’t really know how to handle them. It’s confusing. I just thought, if I isolated and took some time to myself, they would go away...but they haven’t. They’re still here, they’re still strong, and I still don’t know what to do.” You said with a heavy breath. The weight finally came off of your chest after your confession but something was still poking at you and you weren’t sure what. You didn’t let it bother you for too long though, you finally felt like you could breath again.

“So..what? You’re emotionally constipated? ‘Cuz if That’s the case, then I’m the same way, princess. We must come from the same place.” He joked.

“Oh no we don’t. If anything......it’s almost like we’re from two different worlds,” you said with a slightly sad demeanor that Bakugou detected. He picked you up, sat on your bed and got comfortable while placing you on his lap.

“So then explain. Talk. Tell me about this ‘different world’ you claim you’re from, princess.” He said with air quotes as he kept one arm snug around your waist.

“I can’t,” you sighed and looked down at your hands in your lap, “if I told you everything, I know for a fact you’d just drop me outta your life...I know it’s selfish but I don’t know if I could honestly handle that,” you quietly said. Bakugou tilted your head so you were facing him.

“Nothing you say could ever make me want to get rid of you..I promise.....something about you just..makes me need to have you around.” He said caressing your cheek. You both stared at each other, enjoying the warmth you both radiated. The atmosphere changed into something some would call love, and if this was what it was, you didn’t want it to stop. It became something so comforting and addicting the both of you didn’t want to lose it.

Once again, the world around you fell away, as you and Bakugou became the only two people in the world again. He leaned in closer, and you mimicked his actions, until the soft feeling of his lips pressed against yours. Fireworks went off in your head as you met in the middle in the softest way, and what started as a passionate kiss turned into a sweet makeout. Your lips danced across one another and you both could savor the taste you were experiencing. While the flavor of caramel and spice came onto you, the delicious taste of strawberries and scent of vanilla invaded Bakugou’s senses. He adored the way you tasted and craved it even more after every second. When you both finally separated, you stared at each other with starry eyes and heavy breaths as you leaned against each other in a loving way. Blush adorned both your faces as the comforting silence filled the air once again. Bakugou was the first to speak.

“Y/N...whatever it is you need..assistance, time, comfort, I’ll always provide. Just please don’t push me away ‘cuz I won’t go.” He said with his head against yours.

“Yeah..heh, I believe you,” you softly said. Bakugou pulled your head down to lean against his shoulder as you cuddled into him, enjoying the moment. Until you realized, you might just have to tell him everything. Bakugou seemed to sense your little nerve and settled you down. He kissed the crown of your head before speaking.

“Tell me everything when you’re ready, princess.” He said. You felt tears of joy fill your eyes, but you didn’t let them fall. You just reveled in the comfort and love Bakugou was giving you. Love. How amazing. Something many people had told you, you didn’t deserve. But Bakugou came in and changed all of that for you. He came into the darkness and provided the small amount of light you needed. You were so thankful for him. You smiled before speaking in a sweet voice of appreciation.

“Okay.”

[luvspence]

darling, you’re the one i want

spencer reid x reader

{im not quite sure this is how a song fic works but this is basically stolen from paper rings by taylor swift, i’m using the lyrics as like prompt one liner things?????? idk bare with me}

- 1,3,4 are mainly fluff but 2 is a lot of fighting and bickering

——-

i want to drive away with you

“do you ever feel”

you took a pause in the middle of your thought, spencer spun around in his chair to face you

“indeed, i do feel”

“shut up i’m thinking” you said as you laughed and slapped him on the arm

“do you ever feel like, trapped? like boxed in almost”

he chewed on the end of his pen

“i guess? elaborate”

“well, i love my life. i have no regrets. but sometimes i feel like just running into the streets and screaming and keep running and never stopping? just fleeing in a sense”

“yeah, i get that. sort of an intrusive liberating type thought”

“exactly” you said tapping your finger to yourself head, a few seconds of silence passed before you spoke again

“i want to drive away with you”

spencer looked at you in confusion

“you’re all i need, seriously. i love everything in our lives right now i do, but i could go without all of it, besides you”

he rolled his chair up next to your and caught your hand in his

“i’d get up right now, keys in the ignition, and i’d drive into nowhere with you y/n. you’re it for me”

——

i want your complications too

you chased spencer up the stair way

“spencer!”

he turned around

“listen to me would you? every time i open my mouth it seems that you turn off your ears”

“i’m all ears y/l/n” he said, giving you more attitude than necessary, but you were having a hard time getting through to him

“that was unbelievably stupid! you could’ve gotten yourself killed! spencer this isn’t the first time, let alone the second, let alone the 7th time you’ve put yourself in harms way! this is so dumb spencer you understand this shit but you still are reckless! and don’t give me that crap about calculated risks”

you were fuming at him

“so what i’m alive, so is our victim what more do you want?”

“why are you turning this on me? i don’t want shit from you spencer! it’s not what i want! it’s your life! my god i shouldn’t have to justify to my colleague, god to my friend why i care about them being alive!”

“well i am alive. so i don’t know why you’re so bothered y/n it’s like your my mother or something” he said as he continued walking up the stair case

“no, you don’t get to do that. you don’t get to put your life on the line and then treat me like i’m the irrational one. painting me as the villain when i only just care about you”

“why do you care so much?”

“because i’m your friend?! because i love you?!”

he ignored you and resumed walking up the stairs

“you know what spencer? it’s because i love you. it’s because i love you so much that it affects my sleep. so much that i always make you coffee when you come in. so much that no matter what i’m doing, where i’m doing or who i’m doing it with, you’re always on my mind. the problem is spencer, not that i love you, that i’m IN love with you. and even at that you can’t seem to let me in. so i don’t know what the fuck to do anymore”

a tear fell down your cheek as you slammed the door and left

spencer standing dead in his tracks on the stair case. honestly wanting to vomit

-

you spent the rest of your day scream crying. so many emotions that you couldn’t quite process anything

you were laying on your couch, radio head on your phone, dried tears on your cheeks when your heard the doorbell ring

you go and open it

spencer

“hi”

“hi?”

you stood in your doorway, looking at each other with swollen eyes

silence, 2 seemingly frozen bodies

until spencer opened his mouth

“look, i’m sorry.”

“yeah me too”

you were sick of him, sick of how he couldn’t communicate, of how blind he could be. but something about his face was so so good. you were about to shut the door in frustration before spencer started to speak again 

“and with what you said, about the love thing...”

he took a big gulp 

“i do too. i love you too. i mean i’m in love with you too”

what. the. fuck.

between the shock and the upset you were feeling, there was little part of your heart that warmed when he said those words. you opened your mouth to speak but spencer cut you off

“and i just wanted to say that because i uh i owe you the truth always. regardless. but anyway, i don’t think we should pursue that though”

you stood in your doorway in shock

you didn’t know if you wanted to fight him, cry, or vomit

probably all of the above

you were blank, nothing came to your mouth. you tried to speak, tried to scream , but the only thing that came out was 

“what?”

“i’m no good for you, you deserve someone who can be perfect for you. you deserve that truly. and i can’t be that. so i’m sorry but that’s just how it is. i just want you to be happy. you don’t deserve a guy that you have to yell at in stairways, that makes you cry until your eyes swell shut, a guy that cant reconcile his emotions for crap or can’t communicate or anything that i am. so im sorry, but i think this is what’s best for you.”  he stuck his hands in his pants

“so bye i guess”

you were paralyzed, a surplus of information hitting you all at once. you couldn’t quite process it but you knew you couldn’t just let him walk away

“you’re idiotic” you shouted as he was about to get on the elevator

“i’m what now?”

“idiotic. no ones buying the ‘i’m not a nice guy’ crap”

“it’s not crap, it’s true. i’m no good for you”

“oh please spencer you’re acting like this is your villian orgin story. first off, who do you think you even are? i’m an adult i don’t need a white man who doesn’t know how to brush his hair to tell me whats ‘good for me’”

“i’m just looking out for you”

“okay, thanks, but i’m a big girl spencer i know how to take care of myself. and even so i don’t even think thats what this is about. you know what i think? i think that you’re too scared to admit that you don’t feel the same way. which is fine by the way, but if you’re to scared to face the reality of whatever your feeling and youre covering it by turning it on me? by saying that ‘i’m too good for you’ thats fucked up and thats that spencer.”

you caught your breath and continued 

“because spencer i know you’re pulling all this shit about not being good for me but is that even true? spencer reid we’re perfect for eachother. in every way. and if you’re blind to that than whatever, but i don’t want you to lie to try and tiptoe around my feelings”

“ever since you walked into the bau y/n ive loved you. every word you’ve ever said to me get played on repeat in my head. i love you i would want nearly nothing but to be with you y/n. i love you that much. that’s why i’m trying to our myself above what i want and above whatever so that you can be the happiest you can be. it’s just that i don’t want to hurt you. you don’t deserve that. i never want you to hurt ever. and i can only prevent that by taking myself out of the picture”

“spencer, when i said i love you. it means all of you. i want every side to spencer reid. i want your complications too. it’s all worth it spencer because you’re the one for me”

you two stood there for a couple minutes. it was the longest and shortest time of your life. spencer eventually took a deep sigh and stepped in a step closer to you, looking down at your face

red from the crying, left eye swollen shut, giving him a weak smile

“you’re the one for me”

——

i want your dreary mondays

“thursday”

“no?! the worst day of the week is monday obviously”

“monday is underrated in my opinion”

you were conversing with spencer while walking through the park after dinner

“monday is the worst, it’s so hard after the two perfect days of rest to return the mundane process of life”

“sure”

“so thursday? story behind that?”

-

“hey have you seen spence?” you asked around the office, only getting head shakes

it was the monday after a long weekend, and spencer has had a less than ideal day

just woke up on the wrong side of the bed, spilt hot coffee on his pants, forgot his satchel at hole

you searched around for him, when you realized

when spencer was overwhelmed or stressed or sad or anything like that, he retreated to the basement file room

no one ever went down there, and there was a closet with a couch in it that was good for taking mid day breaks

you ran down the stairs, opening the door to the closet and sure enough spencer was there

“hey”

“hi”

he wiped his hand across his face, presumably for a tear

“what’s up spence?”

you said scooting next to him on the closet couch

“having a monday”

“i’m sorry to hear that, what’s going on”

“well besides the coffee incident and satchel problem...” he began to rant about how his day was going less than ideal. when he stopped abruptly

“hey, you don’t need to listen to this”

“i dont have to, but i want to”

“are you sure? i’d hate to bore you with my bad day”

“come on spence, i want your dreary mondays something you gotta recognize, is that you’re such an incredible person, that your bad days are better than most people’s best.”

“yeah, perspective right. my worst days are someone’s best”

“yeah, but don’t ever feel invalidated abt your bad days, you always deserve to feel upset, and i’ll always be here to listen to it”

“god i love you”

—-

wrap your arms around me baby boy

spencer wasn’t a touchy person

germaphobe habits

but something about you, he was magnetic to you

no matter what it was, on the jet, in the office, while in line at the grocery store, anywhere and everywhere he always had you in a hug

coming up behind you while you were cooking, wrapping his arms around the back of your neck while you were working

he adored you, and you adored him

after a case, the team decided to hit the local bar, nearing the end of the night, they started to play slower stuff

slower jazzier beats, the dj came on and said

“okay you couples! get up there”

a few couples hand gone up, you were tugging on spencer’s arm to accompany you up there

“well if you don’t go you know morgan will”

derek raised an eyebrow at him, and before you knew it he was dragging you on stage.

poor spencer didn’t know how to dance correctly, he was standing so far from you. hands in each other’s hands like middle schoolers

“jeez spence, wrap your arms around me”

you grabbed his hands, positioning them on your waist, you wrapped your arms around his neck, and leaned into his chest

swaying back and forth, as the sinatra echoed the other the bar and the click of garcias camera could be heard

and in that moment, nothing felt better or more right, than dancing in spencer reids arms

[azucanela]

Ahh i'm glad you write for them, thank you so much for answering my question :) may i ask for Dabi, Shigaraki and Toga headcanons w/ a female reader that likes to sing but is kinda shy about it? and like one time they catch her singing and are just speechless because her voice is so beautiful? Thank you so much :)

HEARING THEIR SHY S/O SING[HEADCANNONS]

[ft. dabi, shigaraki tomura, and toga himiko]

SUMMARY: in which Y/N can sing but nobody else knew that, until they did, and let me tell you they were SHOCKED.

WORD COUNT: 1.6k

WARNINGS: implications of death, implications of nsfw, almost nudity bc towels, embarrassment, dabi being a perv, blood, injuries

A/N: this concept makes me happy lol, dabi’s is my favorite kjsahkjfshdkjh anyways ofc bb thank you for requesting! this is adorable :D

DABI

in all honesty, you’re probably singing in the shower and dabi is super nosy and has zero shame, so he kinda just comes into the bathroom while you are showering, like a perv

he hears you singing in the shower because he randomly shows up to your apartment, and he kinda just listens from outside for a hot minute because WOW, there is no one else it could be, unless you lived with a ghost who took 30 minute showers just like you did

he sincerely doubted this was the case

he’s vibing tbh, after he collects himself, he’ll kinda just take a seat on the toilet with a small smile on his face, and you won’t hear him unless he decides to sing along just to give you a heart attack

probably realizes that the reason he didn’t already know you have the voice of a literal angel is because of the fact that you’re a shy bb, and he’s gonna savor this while it lasts

he will tease you though, when you come out of the shower, grabbing your towel and then opening the shower curtain to him just sitting there, dopey smile on his face

“hey doll.”

you curse him out, cheeks warming, you lowkey forgot that you have no clothes on as you cuss him out, and he APPRECIATES the sight before him

you being angry is a TURN O N, angry and naked? even better

i think you know where this about to go

anyways as you curse him out for invading your privacy, you do be feeling EMBARRASSED because you were singing your heart out in there and he was just listENING

the audacity.

“you’re a really good singer, babe.”

Now you are more embarrassed and it suddenly dawns on you that you are not wearing clothes, just a towel to cover your body, and you are glaring at this mans because what the-

“what were you even thinking?!”

“that i would listen to my beautiful girlfriends equally beautiful voice.”

the type to ask you to sing for him, he has no shame like i said, will randomly say, “i like this song, think you could sing for me?”

you’re shy and like nO

he’s like, “come on babe, a private session ;)”

yeah he really likes this whole singing thing and will hype you up, but subtly, like hes constantly complimenting your singing voice because it really is just super pretty and he wants you to know this so that you’ll sing more

already comes to your home randomly, but this will increase in frequency because he really wants to hear you sing more AND catch you singing in the shower

LOWKEY

REALLY REALLY LOWKEY

LIKE R E A L L Y LOWKEY

i can see him asking you to sing him to sleep, it reminds him of his childhood because he finds comfort in your voice, and this would be the only time he’s shy about it

you’re just like WHAT internally, because if you express your shock externally he IS going to retreat back into himself and you will have lost your chance at a emotionally available Dabi

my type is emotionally unavailable people sigh

SHIGARAKI TOMURA

most confused award goes to this mans

you’re probably just singing along to your music as you clean your room, he told you he was dropping by, hence the cleaning, you are also dancing because why not vibe

he opens the door, you don’t hear him with your earbuds in, and he kinda just freezes at the door because thats your voice 

your actual voice

he listens for a bit because it sounds pretty and he likes it, he’s really confused, but he likes it, and you

tbh this is a really domestic moment and tomura is really shocked that he’s enjoying leaning up against your doorway as you treat the broom in hand as a mic and belt out some nice lyrics

kinda hates that he likes it

they you turn around after finishing the song with a dramatic little ending, and open your eyes to see your lovely emotionally constipated boyfriend standing there, albeit uncomfortably, his arms are awkwardly crossed and he’s squirming under your gaze

“so... is that your quirk?” genuinely thinks you are such a good singer that it is your QUIRK to be a literal ANGEL

you’re too mortified to answer because shyness, mouth gaping open as you grapple for words and you feel your entire body heat up in embarrassment. You genuinely are contemplating jumping onto your bed and screaming into your pillow before suffocating yourself with it.

“how long have you been standing tHeRe?” your voice cracks and you lowkey wanna cry because WHAT EVEN IS THIS DAY

he kinda shrugs, “few minutes.” he’d mumble and then look up at you, he is equally nervous at this point, “you have a nice voice.”

“thank you,,,,”

he’s too awkward to ask you to sing for him, but he would try and encourage you to sing, because he really does want to hear you again, he just can’t find a way to ask you

literally this is stressing him out, just start singing randomly and he’ll appreciate it so much, don’t make him ask p l e a s e

he is definitely gonna start stopping by randomly way more often, in hopes of catching you singing once more, because thats just an experience he wants to happen again

would probably bring it up that you have a pretty voice to other league members in hopes that they’ll bully you into singing so that he doesn’t have to

sometimes he wishes he didn’t tell them though because he kinda just wants to keep you and your talent for himself

isn’t the best at hyping you up, especially not outright, definitely the most awkward of the three, but he’s going to try, purely because he thinks that if he boosts your confidence enough then he’ll hear you sing more and he won’t have to outright ask you to sing for him because that would be painful for the both of you

“you know... you sing good.”

“thank you...?”

“this is a nice song.”

“yeah,”

“sing it.”

sounds really demanding but he’s trying his hardest okay. 

understands if you don’t want to sing in front of others due to your shyness, he’s awkward too, so as long as you sing for him its chill

he likes the intimacy of the moments when you sing for him and him alone, it just makes him happy to have that, especially since you are shy about singing.

TOGA HIMIKO

oh knife wife, love of my life, 

that rhymes

toga is probably the most outwardly supportive of you and your singing endeavors, bbg is gonna be so happy when she finds out you can sing, unlike the other boys she won’t have time to savor it because she will immediately start talking about it

probably breaking into your home through your window because she needs medical assistance and cannot tell if the blood on her belongs to someone else or not, you are her go to because hospitals are a no no for a villain such as herself

she sees you through the window, and she can kinda hear you singing as you cook in your kitchen, though you aren’t that visible and the window blocks out most of the noise.

genuinely contemplates breaking the window so that she can hear you better because it already sounds so pretty??? how??? why didn’t she know about this, why didn’t you tell her?

the audacity honestly what are you doing

she opens the window with class instead, effectively breaking into your home, but you don’t hear her as she closes it and re-locks the window

she’s gonna be speechless for a hot minute, now that she hears your voice clearly, she’s beginning to wonder if the blood is hers and shes dead, because you have a voice that belongs in the heavens literally what-

wondering how she didn’t know about this as she bursts into your kitchen covered with blood, “Y/N BABY YOU CAN SING?”

you nearly drop the knife in your hand and cut your foot off at the sight of your bloody girlfriend like, for several reasons

one. how the hell did she get into your apartment. two, why is she covered in so much blood???? three. she heard you singing. oh god she head you singing. time to panic and die

you kinda freeze and your mouth gapes open because you are so confused and panicked right now as your hands begin to gesture vividly while you search for words, trying to avoid her gaze and questions as your face heats up

this shock and panic distracts you from the fact that she broke into your house covered in blood as you respond, “i mean anyone can sing-”

“you sing GOOD.”

brags about you being such a good singer ALL THE TIME, literally how she introduces you to people, much to your dismay

will ask you to sing for her with no shame, unlike dabi she isn’t even going to shut down if you say no or find it weird, she’s just gonna keep asking until you agree to do it

would not be opposed to falling asleep to your similar voice, in fact, your voice is one of few things that calms her down

she’s literally just so excited about the fact that you can sing, like WOW, the whole league is gonna know so fast, she’s just 

SO HAPPY

she’s literally going to be hyping you up 24/7 like even if the conversation has nothing to do with it, she’s going to tell you how amazing you are and try to help you overcome your shyness because your talent must be SHARED WITH THE WORLD

just a super supportive gf at the end of the day we love toga

A/N: the vibes are immaculate, sing for your evil lover, that is the point here

[gale-gentlepenguin]

ML Fic: Nathalie’s Gift Part 1

She sat up in the middle of the night.

She took a moment to let her eyes adjust to the darkness. She knew it was late, likely an hour or two away from sunrise.

She examined her surroundings until she saw him. There he was, sleeping in the chair at the end of the room. Gabriel Agreste, her boss, her ally, and the one she had fallen for, was asleep in a chair several feet away.

Ever since the defeat of the guardian and the plan to use Chloé to get the miraculous, she had been far too weak to be as mobile as she was in the past. Gabriel had set her up in his quarters, despite the mansion having dozens of rooms. He had reasoned that Adrien would never walk into his room without permission, so that it would never become apparent how her condition was deteriorating.

His logic wasn't entirely unfounded. She was constantly teetering towards the brink. Overuse of the once broken peacock miraculous has left her bedridden most days. Despite the miraculous no longer having such a negative effect now, she knew the damage was already done. 

Yet he hasn't discarded her, was it out of loyalty that he felt the need to care for her despite being more of a burden? Did he perhaps start to feel something more for her as this whole debacle went on.

The later of which was unlikely, she knew better than anyone that Gabriel was far too loyal to his wife to entertain such a notion. So long as he believed there was a chance of bringing her back, he wont stop. She could never be Emilie Agreste, the love of his life and mother of Adrien. She was Nathalie Sancoeur, trusted assistant, and partner in crime. 

She forced herself out of bed. Moving quietly as to not awaken the sleeping mogul.

She snagged her tablet, and the peacock miraculous that was next to it.

She moved to the office and sat in the office chair. Perhaps she could get some work done while she was awake. And should she feel the need to speak to someone, the blue bird Kwami would be a fitting companion.

She started looking through work but her mind kept wandering to one thought

So long as Emilie could be brought back, he could never love me. I could never replace her.

She coughed.

“Not that it matters, I am on borrowed time as it is.” She commented to herself.

She stopped herself as she let her own comment sink in.

She was on borrowed time.

With how she was now, how much time did she have, a few months? A year? Maybe a decade if she really tried to take care of herself. But it wasn't like she was sick with a normal illness. But would Gabriel be able to get the miraculous? Even with everything they had, Ladybug and Chat noir always seemed to best them at every turn. At the rate things were going, she would likely end up in a glass coffin as well, and if Gabriel fails...

In that moment of worry. An idea that could fix everything slipped into her brain.

It was a long shot sure, there was a possibility that everything will backfire. But she needed to do it.

She exited out of her work and went into the security feed using her tablet. She disabled the secret camera hidden in the lair below.

She started making a few preparations.

_______________________________________________________________________

Gabriel awoke to his phone’s sudden vibrating.

He quickly shook himself and looked at his phone.

“The alarm was tripped. Someone damaged Emilie’s chamber!”

The fashion mogul rushed out of the room. His thoughts were firing through his brain a mile a minute.

Who found the lair? Was it one of the heroes? A spy? Who would dare desecrate my beloved wife’s container?

The fashion mogul made his way to the secret elevator.

A purple Kwami emerged from the pocket of the rushing fashion designer.

“Is something wrong master?”

“It appears there is an intruder in the secret sanctum.”

“What are you planning to do?”

“Im going to show them the error of their ways. Nooru, Dark wings rise.”

Gabriel transformed into the villainous hawkmoth, His face covered by a silver mask, and is candy cane color scheme replaced with a purple suit. 

He was armed and ready to fight should. 

As the elevator reaches the bottom. Hawkmoth dashes out as soon as it opens.

He would strike quick, and take care of the intruder before they realized who they were facing.

As he approached, he stopped dead in his tracks. As he noticed someone standing infront of the Glass container.

“Hello?” The figure called out. Her voice having a familiar tone that caught the butterfly villain off guard.

As his rage diminished, he felt his vision clear and noticed the shattered glass on the floor, along with the glass container that was now broken.

“It... It can't be...” Hawkmoth’s words escaped as he realized who was standing in front of him.

“Can you tell me where I am? I woke up in this... thing over hear. Im not entirely sure what’s going on.”

“Emilie... is that you?” Hawkmoth questioned, unsure if this was a dream, or if by some miracle the love of his life was indeed back from the abyss.

“How do you know my name Mr. Masked man?”

“Nooru, dark wings fall.”

The blond woman watched as the costumed stranger revealed himself.

“Gabriel? Is that you?”

A tear spilled from his eyes as he rushed to her. 

“You're here. How is... How is this possible?”

“I... I dont...” She started to stumble as she walked towards him. Her vision was starting to fade and the world was spinning.  

Gabriel quickly moved to catch her as she suddenly fell.

He felt his heart panic, but he could hear her breathing. She was simply sleeping.

“Perhaps it would be best to take her out of her.”

Gabriel walked to the elevator, his wife in his arms, asleep yet very alive. 

His mind had 1000 questions, but in this moment, he didn't care. He was holding the woman he loved in his arms again, and thats all that mattered.

___________________________________________________________________

“Gabriel!” She cried out as she woke up.

Sunlight was beaming from the window, it was clear it had been bright out for sometime.

She felt sheets underneath her. What she expected was a hard floor in a weird sanctum but now she felt the comfort of a room that felt familiar.

She heard the door open and looked to see her husband carrying a tray.

“Oh good, you're awake.” He spoke with soft relief.

She looked at the tray.

“Are those.”

“Lemon tea cookies. Your favorite.”

She smiled at him as he brought the tray to her bedside. Allowing her to snag a bite of one of them.

“So good!” She said as she finished her first cookie. “I feel like I haven't eaten in years!”

Gabriel’s expression faltered. She could see the pained expression as she said that.

“Gabriel... how long was I gone?” Her question verbally stabbed him.

He took a moment to process the curious expression on his wife’s face as she continued eating the tray of treats.

He looked down at his hands.

“A year and 6 months.”

She gulped down her cookie hard at the revelation.

“Wow... I've been gone for so long... Adrien must be taller then... ADRIEN!”

Emilie grabbed her husband by the collar.

“Where is Adrien?!”

“He’s at school” Gabriel answered.

Emilie blinked.

“School? You mean he is no longer being homeschooled?”

“He still has some lessons, but he was insistent on trying to go to school like other children his age. It was more ideal for him to go out than for him to be stuck here most hours of the day.”

Emilie processed that information.

“I see, I am surprised you said yes. You always said you hated public schooling.”

“I still believe the school systems are... inferior, but Adrien’s grades haven't faltered according to Nathalie. So I don't bother intervening.”

“My boy has grown up so much since Ive been gone. Wait, is he dating yet? Please tell me I didn’t miss his first crush!”

“Emilie, I am sure that you didnt miss anything. You and Adrien can catch up once you are rested and he is back from school.”

Emilie took a deep breathe.

“Okay, You're right. It will be nice to hear everything from him.”

She looked around the room a bit and noticed the vase full of roses.

“Oh, fresh roses. Gabe-y you cheesy romantic.”

Gabriel felt his cheeks go pink.

“It was... the room needed some color in it.”

“Much like those red pants you insist on wearing.”

“They are fashionable.”

“If you were in charge of candyland perhaps.”

Emilie loved to tease him about is fashion calls.

“Who is the fashion designer here?” He said with a mock stern tone.

“Speaking of fashion, that costume that you were wearing. That didn’t look like the peacock miraculous.”

Gabriel’s tone shifted to genuinely serious. He figured the time would come to answer that question.

“It is the butterfly miraculous. After your...departure. Nathalie and I investigated the temple where you and I had found the peacock miraculous. We discovered a new miraculous, one that wasn't damaged.”

Gabriel felt a twinge mentioning Nathalie. When he had rushed to bring Emilie up here, he felt guilt and relief that his assistant wasn't in the bed. He would have quite a difficult time explaining that one, even if nothing happened.

“So with that miraculous you were trying to find a way to bring me back.”

“It was a means to an end.”

Emilie processed the information she was told.

“Gabriel, I want you to do something for me.”

“Anything.”

“No more miraculous. None.”

Gabriel blinked.

“But...”

“Those jewels are nothing but trouble. It has only caused our family suffering and pain.”

Gabriel was surprised by the claim, but he knew she was correct. The miraculous have been quite the curse on the family, despite the powers they gave.

“It will take time for me to stop using it outright, there is a... situation with how I’ve been using it. Your sudden appearance and the disappearance of Hawkmoth might be suspicious.”

Emilie looked at Gabriel intensely.

“Hawkmoth? Gabriel what did you do?”

“Well... in order to try an bring you back, the butterfly miraculous wasn't going to be able to accomplish that goal. So the only way I could bring you back with certainty was to attain the ladybug and Cat miraculous.”

The former actress listened as her husband explained how he became a super villain for the sake of getting the jewels.

“Unbelievable.”

“I admit, explaining it makes it sound a lot worse than it actually is. I planned to fix any damage caused once I got the jewels”

“And what if people found out your identity!? You would have been thrown in prison and left our son an Orphan!” Emilie pointed her finger in his chest.

“It was the only way I could think of to attain the miraculous. How else would I have been able to confirm the miraculous were in Paris?”

Emilie was ready to let him have it. But she felt herself calm down. She had to admit, in a weird way, it was quite romantic. Something out of a tragic romance novel.

“I should be angrier with you, but I know if the situation was reversed and I had a way of bringing you back, I would have likely tried the same thing, albeit in a smarter way.”

Gabriel felt a bit of relief seeing his wife not so cross with him.

“So we figure out how to orchestrate your ‘Defeat’ and then we say good bye to the miraculous for good.”

“We will plan it out when you are completely better. Though this does raise the question. How are you back?”

Emilie pauses, she tries to think back.

Protect the Agreste family... no matter what.

She heard that phrase echoing in her head. But she couldn't figure out why. Who said that to her. Why is everything so fuzzy?

“I don't know... I remember hearing glass shatter, and a flash of blue. But the next thing I remember was... seeing you.

Gabriel looks at her, he could tell from her eyes she was telling the truth.

“I will look into that later. In the meantime, you should rest. I will check on you in a few hours.”

He moves the empty tray from the bed.

“Wait.”

Gabriel stopped.

“Get Adrien here. I want to see him now.”

“Dear, he is in school. It will dismiss in a few hours. Besides you should rest.”

Emilie got up from the bed.

“Nonsense. Ive been resting long enough. I am sure Adrien can miss a few hours of school. I want to see my baby boy.”

Gabriel wanted to find some way to dismiss her request, but he knew he couldn't say no to her. She was far to headstrong and determined... and man did he miss her.

“Okay, I will have his driver go an pick him up.”

“You aren't going to pick him up yourself?”

“Emilie I have work to do. Besides that is why we have...”

“You can take some time off to bond with your son. Seriously, you need to stop putting up walls Gabe-y.”

Gabriel took a calming breath to compose himself.

“Very well. But do use this time to rest.”

She moves to kiss her husband.

“I promise.”

Gabriel’s expression turned into a soft smile.

“I will be back with our son shortly.”

Gabriel left the room to go pick up Adrien.

Emilie smiled as she moved to vase of roses. She picked on up and sniffed it.

The rose in her hand began wilting and shriveled up.

She looked in the mirror.

“Everything went perfectly.”

______________________________________________________________________

End of part one

(Should I continue? Let me know your thoughts)