#sometimes you may think introducing an element to your story with enough confidence will mean people won't ask questions

[sylvies-kablooie]

reading a fic that is a retelling of s2 but with Improvements and honestly cannot recall which elements of the loom lore are canon and which elements this author made up because i have no capacity in my brain for technobabble.

yeah sure there's a failsafe and it nukes all the branches that got activated after sylvie killed the dude. so like there was no way freeing the timelines would ever work. was that canon? don't look at me.

and sure, the loom was only around for 1,000 years but somehow without it the universe blows up. but also life existed before the loom. it just cannot exist after it.

who knows what's going on? it is not the owner of this blog!!!

[surrsilver]

In retrospect, I should have seen this coming, but was caught off-guard when she cornered me at lunch."Hey....Dan! Wait up! She sprinted up the long flight of stairs leading to the building's main entrance and cut me off before I reached the door."What, we don't have lunch together anymore?"

"Stop it, weirdo.I looked all over for you." Her sensitivity was, at times, ridiculous. Then again, so is mine.

"Okay, okay. Sorry, yeah....I was in Justin's (another pseudonym) office." she was still panting from having to run up a single flight of stairs. Lydia looked to be in much better shape than she was.

"Jeezus....join a gym, or something. You're TWENTY? Good lord...."

"Yeah, yeah....whatever, asshole. Anyway, Justin's locking up tonight, so I can go with you." She attempted to act as though she fully expected me to be thrilled with this idea. I suspect she knew better.

"Come with me....to the meeting tonight?"

"Yeah, dude. Come on. Please. We've been talking about this girl forever, and, well.....I just wanna see for myself."

"See WHAT for yourself?" I queried.

"Well....see how some chick you don't know, and has expressed no interest in you at all can have you so fucked up. I mean....you're not a total dork, or anything."

"Well, thanks Lid, for professing that I'm not a total dork, but I don't see what good can possibly come from this. I mean, no offense, but you can be.....aggressive and, well...really blunt. I don't think that...."

"I won't say anything to her without your permission. I promise. And, who knows, maybe she needs to see you with a woman...she probably thinks you're gay. I thought that for a while."

"How 'bout I just get you a picture?" I was grasping at straws, but knew, at this point that she'd be going. I was not willing to offend her to the lvel required to prevent it, and she had a point. Nobody thought I was gay (I thought) but Lydia was not just a woman, but a gorgeous one. If I could keep her sometimes obnoxious ways under wraps, this may, actually wind up helping my cause. The truth was, while my feelings for her had not dissipated, my confidence that anything would ever come of them certainly had. I was close to moving out of the halfway house, and had more than enough money to do so. If I couldn't make, at least, some headway in the next couple of weeks, it may be time to concede that, while powerful and bizarre, my reaction to meeting her may have meant nothing.

"If you don't take me, I am gonna go over to that halfway house this weekend, find this girl, introduce myself and tell her all about this....does that help?" She gave a "fucking try me" look that contained just enough of a loving element to prevent from rousing too much anger in me, and, the truth is, while I don't think she'd do exactly THAT, I had no doubt that she was, at this point, curious enough to start investigating matters for herself....and I didn't want that. So....."Yeah. Fine. You aren't saying anything to or about her, right?"

"Promise. Hey, can you buy me Blimpie's? I'm broke?"

"Lid....it's fuckin' Monday. You're already broke?"

"Yeah....it's kind of a long story."

"Well, you can tell me tonight, I guess." I handed her 50 bucks."in the meantime, get your own Blimpie. I'm going to Pete's....and you're paying me back on Friday."

"Cool. I have to go drop a UA. I'll be back before closing. Don't even leave early....I'm your wingman now. You never leave your wingman. You've seen Top Gun, right?"

"Yeah. Okay, wingman. Just remember our agreement. You're the SILENT wingman."

"Yeah, yeah. Totally. So, like....just out of curiosity....what if this thing with this girl like, isn't gonna happen? Ya know, like....well, you said she had a boyfriend, right? Will he be there too?"

"Yeah, I think she still does...and, I don't know. I'll point everybody out to you, we just can't be obvious about it....and hey, since you're leaving, can you bring me some of those raviolis?"

"I haven't made them yet, dumbass. I make them from scratch. They take a while...that's why they're good. But, you didn't answer my question."

I pondered for a moment. "Well....it appears unlikely that anything ever WILL happen with her....and, I don't know. I guess once I'm sure there's no chance, I'll have no choice but to move on...maybe that's why I've actually been avoiding her. I know, on some level that she's not interested, and I don't want my fantasy destroyed."

"Wow. That's sad. You deserve better. You're a great guy....even my Mom likes you."

"Okay Lid. I look forward to more of your 'help' later. Happy peeing."

"Sorry, I just..." it seemed she wanted to say much more,"sorry. And thanks, I'll pay you back Friday."

"No worries." We hugged and she walked toward her car to leave. I considered what she had said. This was far from the first time that I had completely closed myself off to the entire female species, except for one individual target. This was the first time I'd managed to choose someone before even knowing them, but the truth was, even when I did, my plans DIDN'T come to any sort of fruition, at least as often as they did....and, except for one instance, disappointment eventually reigned in either case. It was, sorry to sound trite and non-responsive to obvious challenges to this way of being all at once, just how I was wired...it was not something I chose. But, there were some unprecedented aspects of this situation that I would have never thought possible, even aside from the most glaring. Ya know, the fact that she and I had barely spoken. For example, and I considered telling Lydia this a few moments prior, but decided against it, I wasn't sure I would want her unless she not only reciprocated my feelings for her, but that I would also add something special to her existence. In other words, if she was better off and happier with someone else, I would want her with him. Also, and there was no way I was going to ever reveal this (or so I thought, but did reveal it several years later, while drunk with another female alumni of that halfway house) she had fairly severe health concerns from what must have been a prodigious drinking career. I noticed that instead of fantasizing about her in her capacity to, eventually, fulfill my desires, I spent much of my time worrying about her prognosis. Of course, there was no way on earth for me to affect this, but I, while stone-cold sober, mind you, imagined a few with the help of self-twisted tenets of religion, as I understood it....to be more specific would undermine my anonymous ethos and cause great embarassment. Suffice to say, I was ridiculous...even by my standards. I suppose, though, that as love is defined in that section of Corinthians read at every Catholic wedding ever...this was probably the closest I'd come. I was not attempting to "score" her, and had absolutely no interest in no-strings, or even few-strings sex (not typical for me to that point...or, in some cases, beyond it) with her. Half a year after being presented with this issue, I was not only no closer to her, I was even farther from deciding what, exactly, it meant to me....but, at least I thought, at the time, I was nearing the point of giving up and pretending it never happened. That finally seemed a possibility, but not because she was any less perfect, from my vantage point, than she'd ever been. The halfway house held a mandatory meeting every Sunday morning which gave me a highly anticipated opportunity to stare at her for close to an hour. My fondness for her had not gone unnoticed, and I had admitted to it, casually. None but Lydia was aware of the full, crazy extent, though.....and, I gusss that not even she knew EVERYTHING. Lydia was becoming a question of sorts, as well....maybe this was God's way of providing a way out. Like,"look kid, sorry for the misunderstanding, but what do you think of this?" And I thought plenty of her. Not only the bearer of rare physical beauty, she, despite some rough edges, was a genuinely good person. She was also honest and loyal...if she made a move....and she seemed close to doing so, how stupid would I be to turn her down in favor of a feeling that, more and more, seemed rare and awesome, but, ultimately false? I was, at least, starting to consider other options....but, still, staring across the room at one girl trumped anything else that may happen with any other, I walked back onto the floor to finish my day.

[salamoonder]

I had a lot of interesting experiences as a kid. Actually I want to bring this up real fast, because I feel like it's important. I want to...uh, I just want to apologize legitimately to anybody who felt uncomfortable in the-the story of the last Taryon episode and the reveal there. And I apologize if, you know, if that hit too close to home, if that was not the representation of your story that you wanted to see, and, uhm...I understand that it made a lot of people feel uncomfortable and I'm--I'm sorry, I'm legitimately sorry. Um, I put a post about it on Twitter, but, you know, text is easy to be misconstrued and you only have so much brainspace to put out there. Um, and I'm sure I've been torn apart on the internet, and that's fine. I-I-I--admit that. However, I do wanna say that I-I think that it's an important story to tell from what we understand of it. And when I say "what we understand of it", y'know, we all come from different backgrounds, and--this is gonna be a little real here for a second. Um. Y'know...we have our experiences to come from when it comes to story. Um, we as actors, we--we write and we only create from experience. And, um, Exandria is very much an open, uhhh, environment, for the most part. People are...you know, sexuality is--is just an open thing in society. There are couples of all different walks of life: asexual, uh, yknow, trans, nonbinary, gay, bi, everything, and it's all just kind of open in the world. Is the world free of ignorance? No. That--that's part of...life, and that's part of the story, because...you know. People are flawed, people are stupid. It's minimized in my world because I like to imagine a world where it is largely minimized, but that doesn't mean it's not gonna exist. Um...and what little bit of story, of Tary's story we've touched on, a lot of it improvised by Sam on the spot, and a lot we've talked about it since then and we developed a little beforehand to an extent, I think is an important story to tell. Um, and parts of it resonate. Uh, I've had people concerned that we were making fun of his kind of awakening, or, or, his coming to terms with his venture in the last episode, and I--I can honestly say if that--if it came across that way I'm sorry. That is not the case. We are--we're very very sensitive to these things and many of us have lived very close to or dealt with homophobia on our end as well. You know, I grew up a very androgynous, long haired, y'know, pretty boy who was quiet. Um. And God knows I spent a number of years of my youth being called f*ggot and being pushed around and you know I--you know I have a lot of very, very important people in my life, uh...who have dealt with far worse and have, you know, undergone a lot of terrible circumstances. And I--I. I feel for that a lot. And....you know like, my uncle Ted, for instance. Um, one of the most impactful people in my life, probably, at a young age. He was my--my dad's brother. He introduced me to musical theater, he introduced me to Andrew Lloyd Webber's Phantom of the Opera. He--we used to play piano and sing songs on the piano and stuff, and he's--he's such a wonderful person. And as a kid I--I loved him, he was my favorite, uh. You know, relative on that side of the family. He also dealt with the difficulty of being married and having a child with his wife and then one day coming to terms with the fact that he was gay. And it--it. You know, it sundered a lot of--of that part of the family at the time, and, yknow, it was very hard to--to be in parts of the family that didn't understand that. And even as a kid I knew what was wrong, and what felt wrong, and what was being said. And. You know. And then get--and. I. Hm. I then had to watch him...you know, waste away over the years because...he caught HIV and then AIDS, and...at a time when it was very prominent, in the late 80s and early 90s. And then...you know, through the 90s, in-in a lot of ways was very hard for people of alternative sexualities because we didn't have communities. Uh, we didn't have the internet, we didn't have tumblr, we didn't have facebook. There weren't places you could go to feel safe, um, if your lifestyle was expected to be, uh, not the norm, or not accepted. And so I had a lot of friends and a lot of people that had to just suffer inside and had nowhere to talk, and occasionally meet somebody, uh, or find somebody who was comfortable enough to be out and proud. And then it was--permission was given, but even that was...met with a lot of difficulty. And so, like...it's...I'm glad we live in a world now, by comparison, where things are much more, uh...respected. And it's still a fight. God, it's still a fight. There's still so much to be done and it's still so much bullshit and so much disrespect and lack of empathy for people who just wanna be happy. And that bothers me on a deep level and I feel really hard. Um...but...I know that part of Tary's tale may not be the representation that some people hoped for in media. Um, but I've tried my best to represent other, happier lives and things where that was an open and a viable circumstance. Um. Tary's is important for people that grew up like maybe a lot of my friends did and didn't have that open, welcoming scenario. And, uh...I can't believe I'm doing this on the internet. Um. Um. Anyway. Uhh. I'm sorry. I'm doing the best I can. And, uh...not all stories are going to be for everybody, we can't please everybody with all the choices we make and I mess up and I fail and I stumble. And even if a few people get offended, I can't help but feel bad because I hate hurting people and I promise I'm doing my best. That's all. Uh. You know. Uh. When I said Tary's experience, uh...his scenario at the end of the last episode with, uh. With Trish, reminded me of a lot of friends growing up, you know. You know, every--every person has a point in life where they struggle with their own identity, and I had that too. I identify as heterosexual but I've had my years of curiosity, I've had my years of trying to figure out what it was, who I was. And uh, you know. Yeah, I myself am primarily attracted to women, but, you know, I--there are men that I've also found attractive in life, mostly about the person, the individual. And, uh. You know. Sometimes it--it takes an experience like what Tary had to finally feel confident in that. And not in a judgmental way. His was a little more comical because it's Sam and we wanna up the uncomf--the discomfort of a sequence sometimes with humor to offset to offset it, but. We try and treat it with respect because a lot of it plays to elements of our own lives or people that are close to us. Um, and so Tary's journey is--is in some ways still a personal one. For myself and other people in some ways. So just--you know. We're trying.

Matthew Mercer, Fireside Q & A with Matt Mercer on Talks Machina

[ptergwen]

yo, what do you think about peter with an azula type reader? Like with the abilities & all that? Would he be interested in something like that, wdy think?

YOOOO HOLD ON i never thought about that before but now that you mentioned it that would be so sick! so here’s a kinda long headcanon

you were recruited by tony after he read your file from SHIELD

he had asked them to send over any information they had on possible threats

your name was on the list

tony read all about your fire powers and where you came from

he realized you were just a kid who needed some guidance, and you could do amazing things if you learned how to use your powers for good

that’s how you end up at the avengers facility

you want to work on yourself as much as tony does, but you were honestly scared

until you met peter

tony introduced you to him after you settled into your room

peter definitely wasn’t ready for it

“i’m uh, wow, i’m peter. your hair’s really pretty. wait that’s weird-“

he was a stuttering, blushing mess

you thought it was kind of sweet

“i like yours too. i’m y/n.”

he gave you a goofy smile and stuck out his hand

that was a bit dorky to you, but you shook it anyway

part of working on yourself is being nicer to people

tony suggested peter gave you a tour of the facility, and you were both down

peter took you down every hall on every floor, telling you fun facts about each avenger when you passed their room

he sure did talk a lot

it’s nice though. you didn’t really have friends, and this was your chance to change that

you even laughed at a corny science joke peter made while showing you tony’s lab

“personally, the movie theater is my favorite room in the whole place”

“do you guys have star wars here? it would look so cool on a screen that big”

“oh my god, we’re gonna be best friends”

you started your training the next morning with wanda, since her powers are the most similar to yours

she teaches you how to control yourself so your emotions didn’t set them off

you have a habit of shooting fireballs involuntarily when you lost your temper

peter offered to help you practice defense moves later

he didn’t know what he was in for

he thought having nonflammable webs meant he’d get you down easily

you just blocked everything he shot with a shield of fire

peter was already in awe of what he was seeing

“holy shit, you can do that? that’s so awesome!”

“i can do a lot of stuff, peter. maybe i should be giving you defense training”

training with peter and wanda went on for a couple of weeks

then you added in breakfast with peter and lunch after defense practice

it became a routine you actually looked forward to

you eventually worked your way up to gameroom nights together

your favorite is air hockey because you beat peter almost every time

sometimes you let him win just to see his dumb eye crinkling smile

dance dance revolution is also fun

you both suck so you always end up freestyling

peter’s carefree attitude really balances you out, especially when you‘re in a mood about something

unlike most people, your sarcasm is what peter likes most about you. you could be funny without actually trying

he’s one of the only people who wasn’t automatically afraid of you or your powers. he gave you a chance to show your real self to him

you spent over a month getting to know each other before peter asked you out on a date

he was super nervous about it, sweaty palms and all

“y/n, you um... i mean um... do you wanna watch a movie with me?”

“like as a date?”

“if that’s okay with you, yeah”

so you watched the empire strikes back in the big facility movie theater

you and peter shared popcorn and he kept doing the cliche thing where he’d “accidentally” touch your hand in the bucket

he was such a nerd but you overlooked it

towards the end he worked up the courage to hold your hand

you were surprised he didn’t ask a bunch of times first, but laced your fingers together

after it ended he walked you back to your room (which was right across from his) with his hand in yours

the next morning at breakfast he asked you out on another movie date

a few weeks later and you were officially a couple

you’re also officially on the team!!!

tony decided you’d had enough training at that point to start patrolling

peter took you with him one night so he could give you a little tutorial

there wasn’t much going on, so you just did firebending tricks for him on a random rooftop

peter loves watching you in your element

he knows how powerful you really are, and that you can do things nobody else could. no one appreciated it like he did

patrol evolves into missions together

you play bad guy, he plays good guy when it comes to dealing with anyone

peter has his quips and strength, you have a lot of rage and stamina to work with

tony is proud of the duo he kind of created

of course peter gives you those cheesy compliments after like “you were on fire out there” and “you looked smoking hot fighting that guy, babe”

then there are the missions that don’t go so well

you have a hard time keeping it together like wanda taught you when those happen

you’ll get back to the facility and fight some punching bags in the gym, burning at least one to ashes

peter never judges you for that

he knows how it feels to be angry after losing

you just want to prove you‘re getting better, and a loss won’t do that

he helps you get your confidence back up, however long it takes

it isn’t long at all before you have him pinned to the floor during training

which could sometimes lead to a makeout session if he isn’t feeling too shy

oh yeah and peter looooooves kissing you

like he’s just waiting for you to make the move all the time

you’re the one who speeds it up or bites his lip first

plus he says you taste like cinnamon which you’re pretty sure is another fire joke

you’re there to make peter feel better after his losses too

he’s better at it though because he’s the nice one and you’re more awkward with that stuff

but you both support each other however you can

you’re not super into pda because peter is shy about it, but there are those rare times he holds you by your waist or kisses your cheek in front of the other avengers

sam and bucky tease the hell out of peter for it

everyone else just ignores it, but thor thinks it’s adorable

you have to admit, you love your odd little family

you take advantage of the summer weather and have campouts in the huge ass backyard sometimes

peter gets the tent set up while you start a fire by throwing fire disks at the wood

it gets peter every time

“y/n, i think you’re the coolest person i know. or should i say warmest?”

“parker, i think you’re the biggest nerd i know. but it’s cute”

you roast marshmallows and pepper comes to check on you once or twice

tony worries about you guys, but he won’t say it directly

you try to scare peter with a ghost story, and he won’t confirm but you saw him shiver

you go to bed in sleeping bags with peter’s head resting on your chest

when summer comes to an end, peter has to go back home to queens

school is a thing and he misses may

you’re both literally devastated he can’t stay at the facility forever

“i wish you could come to midtown so bad. it’s gonna suck not seeing you every day”

“i have to keep working on myself. we’ll figure it out, parker”

you hug for a good five minutes and peter has to let go first

you’ll never tell him, but you cried the day he left

it’s not so bad because you have nat and wanda to spend time with

and peter texts you live updates of his days at school

you also facetime if he’s not on patrol or you’re not on a mission

he makes his weekly visits to the facility as requested by tony

but he spends more time with you than whatever he’s supposed to be doing

peter brings ned and mj with him one time since he thinks you’ll all get along

you become friends with mj even faster than peter

she has the same dry sense of humor as you, and she thinks your powers are so badass

now you have the best boyfriend in the world and some really cool friends too

life isn’t so bad after all

[pompompurin1028]

Ok, I just finished "The Setting Sun" and wow I may have read a little too fast towards the end because I was so excited and eager to finish but I'm very much in awe of the whole novel. I hope you don't mind if I just put down my thoughts about it :')

Ig I should put a SPOILER WARNING and obviously, there's:

TW: Mentions of suicide

First off, my opinions of the main cast:

I honestly had very neutral feelings towards Naoji in the beginning but shortly after his suicide and his note to Kazuko I felt that I understood him a lot more. Maybe it was partly because the story took place in Kazuko's POV that I had a more discontented viewpoint of him but afterward I felt I understood him more as a person.

With Kazuko, I personally liked her character and the fact that she didn't seem like she was written to be the "perfect woman" like I've seen in some novels. She has flaws and I think her love for her mother is something I found interesting. Although towards the end, I felt that her love for Mr. Uehara sort of anchored her down.

Kazuko and Naoji's Mother was honestly my favorite character of the whole series. I adored her from start to finish. All the way from when she was first introduced she had a sophisticated and genuinely kind aura and when she died I honestly felt a little part of me die as well, haha. But her last line in the book: "It must have been a terrible rush for you" pulled my heartstrings a lot.

Secondly, I just wanted to ramble about some of my favorite quotes from the book lol

The first quote I highlighted was a line Kazuko says: "...The ones who die are always the gentle, sweet, and beautiful people." Which honestly felt so Dazai-like. In both the case of Dazai-sensei and the BSD version of him. There were so many times I wondered if it was the character speaking or Dazai-sensei himself adding himself into the character.

Another one I liked was "I wonder how it would be if I let go and yielded myself to depravity." I don't really have a comment on it, I just sort of liked it lol.

I highlighted so many in all honesty but I also wanted to point out this one: "The dying are beautiful, but to live, to survive--those things somehow seem hideous and contaminated with blood." Again, it just seemed so beautifully raw and just something I envision BSD Dazai saying and believing as well.

In Naoji's suicide note I almost felt as though it was coming from not just him but from Dazai-sensei as well. Which I'm beginning to see is a recurring pattern in the novel. In particular, this one line stood out to me: "Why must I go on living after what has happened? It's useless. I am going to die. I have a poison that kills without pain. I got it when I was a soldier and have kept it ever since."

I loved the Snake Metaphors(?) throughout the story. And especially Kazuko and Naoji's POV of their mother and how they call her "the last lady of Japan" I think they truly honor her and it's interesting to see such two somewhat lost and "tainted" characters almost obsess over this "light" and genuinely kind woman they hold in such high regard. It almost reminds me of BSD Dazai's opinion of Odasaku or even Atsushi.

That's mostly it- I just really wanted to talk about those things and overall I loved it a lot. It's been a while since I've been so absorbed in a book so reading it felt very relaxing and at the same time so riveting. I hope you don't mind me popping into your inbox and chattering on about this :')

Okay, before I begin, Ariel please don't apologize for putting down your thoughts here. I love discussing Dazai-sensei's novels, and I can't even begin to express how giddy, excited and overjoyed I am to receive this ask of yours. And please if you would ever like to discuss more of his works, feel free to chat with me as well, via asks or on discord it doesn't matter😭❤, I'm always down for it. And this whole thing is me rambling over this so please bear with me haha.

And, I want to say, I was extremely eager to read and finish the novel as well as I continued on reading. It is strangely alluring and compelling. And honestly, I tend to be in awe of Dazai-sensei's thoughts and writing as well😫💕.

Okay, so before I begin to address your thoughts on the novel. Let me write down some background information on the novel to hopefully give you maybe a better understanding of it and Dazai-sensei as well?

The book was published in 1947, not long after the end of the Second World War which ended in 1945. The book in general talks about the state of Japan after the Second World War, and the decline of the aristocracy that came with it. (It should be noted that Dazai-sensei came from an aristocratic background as well, but he also seems to have a sense of shame towards it). The title of the book is literally a metaphor for the decline of Japan. Japan is often known as the "land of the rising Sun", and therefore "The Setting Sun" as the title is fitting for this theme.

And well, this defeat created according to here (an article written in Chinese unfortunately😥) caused a great change in moral values in the Japanese society, which caused an uproar for democracy. Dazai-sensei, however, was quite critical of this, as he sees this as a sign that the Japanese do not feel any guilt or remorse for their actions in the war that took place. (From what I've read Dazai-sensei in his works is very much known for his sense, albeit unusual for Japanese writers from what I read, of guilt, remorse and in a sense seeking for atonement, in one of his prose he even wrote that he writes literature for "remorse, confession and reflection" [my translation from my native language]).

Also, it should be noted that The Setting Sun is also deeply inspired by a diary written by one of Dazai-sensei's lovers (especially chapters 1 to 5 I believe). However, Dazai-sensei himself is best known for his I-novels and their semi-biographical elements. In one of his short stories, or prose in his book I am reading, he confesses that he cannot write things he doesn't know or hadn't felt for himself...

Now onto your thoughts on the novel!

Naoji, I honestly felt the same about him at first, but the more I dove into the novel, especially in the chapters Moonflowers and his note to Kuzuko, I felt more connected to him. And when I read the novel I felt as though Dazai-sensei had actually reflected a part of himself in Naoji, and I read something from what @/bsd-bibliophile had said which confirmed that perhaps Naoji was in a sense an extension of Dazai-sensei himself. (Same for Mr. Uehara I should note, who is also an extension of Dazai-sensei, which I had also noted as well when reading the novel).

And yes! I loved Kuzuko as well, and I have to agree with your statement about her love for Mr. Uehara. I was somewhat disappointed with that as well. But I actually had just been reading on something today which is a bit interesting. However, I do not know enough on the topic yet, nor am I entirely confident at myself explaining it at the moment, but I will talk about it briefly down here.

CW Religious Mentions [Christianity] (Feel free to skip if it makes you uncomfortable <3 For this is simply for literature analysis uses)

Before I begin, I should note that Dazai-sensei is by no means a "religious person", many scholars do not believe so either. It was mentioned in a paper that he even holds a critical view of the Church. However, Dazai-sensei commonly mentions the Bible in well the prose of his that I am currently reading (which brought me to research this topic). It was written in some papers that I am reading that he simply understood the Bible through his own means and not what the Church says (perhaps he sees it as a piece of literature as well in a sense...). Some papers say that he formed his unique views of the need to find "atonement" for his own guilt due to this, which some say is not often seen in Japanese authors.

I'm getting off-topic, but what I'm trying to say is that some scholars say that that action by Kuzuko might've been an allusion in a sense. But what the paper was trying to say was that it was meant to be something powerful? But, personally, I'm not sure what I think of it, it might be a bit far-fetched. But I just wanted to make a note of it.

End of CW

And yes! I do agree I loved their mother as well. I loved how genuine and kind she was. I think she is my favourite too, but she also acted as a form of symbolism for the theme of the novel I believe, which I will talk about briefly later on.

"...The ones who die are always the gentle, sweet, and beautiful people."

I really liked this quote too actually! And yes, I can definitely see Dazai-sensei saying this... It is hard to tell which part is him confessing, but most of his work tends to have elements of his own feelings and thoughts. Personally, I think it might be Dazai-sensei himself speaking... But I'm not sure, but it should be noted that Dazai-sensei held the concept of "tenderness" in high esteem (other people have also mentioned it here).

And honestly, I get what you mean when you say you don't know what to say about it haha. Sometimes authors just put sentences and words together so beautifully.

And yes, I definitely understand that! I felt that as well, and as I said, Dazai-sensei seems to have put elements of himself into Naoji...

And ahh the snake metaphor! I read on it a bit before, and some say that it might've been symbolizing the decline of Japan/the aristocracy. And the use of the term "the last lady of Japan" seems to symbolize the fall of the old traditions of Japan. It had seemed to me that their mother was a symbol of the "old Japan" that had fallen after the war.

And yes, they do hold her in very high esteem! I wrote that in my analysis as well before! From what I have read, Dazai-sensei does seem to hold such people highly, especially those that are honest and genuine it seems. And yes, exactly, it reminds me of BSD Dazai as well T^T.

And please, thank you for coming over to chat with me about it haha. You could probably tell by how long this is how excited I am about such topics😅. Don't hesitate to come by if you want to chat more! And I'm also really glad that you liked the book as well <33

[strangertheory]

With the theory about Hopper and others potentially being introjects, would that mean that everything that took place with Hopper and others like El and Will etc. was purely in an inner world? Joyce for example, who I assume isn’t an introject...her interactions with the Hopper we see would have never happened, at least IRL? Also, how do you think they would reveal this theory to the audience in a way that they understand? I find it interesting but I think if they outright state it, it could be seen as sensationalizing DID by comparing it to scifi and could receive criticism. I hope you’re well, btw!

I’ll answer each of your questions one at a time. (Thanks for messaging!)

“With the theory about Hopper and others potentially being introjects, would that mean that everything that took place with Hopper and others like El and Will etc. was purely in an inner world?"

The nature of an introject alter is that they are based on a person or character who exists in the external world. Introjects can be “factives” (based on a real person – perhaps like Chief Jim Hopper) or “fictives” (based on a fictional character – like the Demogorgon or the Mindflayer.)

Therefore this means that, hypothetically, if there is an introject who is based on an original Jim Hopper that the Byers family knows, that there could hypothetically be scenes that are the “original” Chief Jim Hopper and then scenes that are a very different Jim Hopper who exists in internal worlds in the DID System. Some scenes might be one Hopper, and some scenes might be the other Hopper.

It’s important to keep in mind that when there is an introject alter based on a person that does not mean that the introject alter will behave and think and act exactly like the “original” that their identity was based on. Their mind subconsciously established a new alter and identity that knows themselves to be Jim Hopper, but that person will be totally different from who the other Jim Hopper is because they are truly not the same person. An alter of Jim Hopper might be based on one particular idea of who Jim Hopper is as a person, but alter-Hopper’s identity can also be heavily influenced by the DID System’s lived experiences and thoughts and sometimes even other people that they know too, and therefore the accuracy of that initial persona of alter-Hopper will be entirely dependent on the DID System’s interpretation of who they think Jim Hopper is.

Joyce for example, who I assume isn’t an introject...her interactions with the Hopper we see would have never happened, at least IRL?”

So. Joyce! Hopper and Joyce. Within my current DID theory and meta I see a variety of possibilities regarding Hopper and Joyce’s interactions with one another as well as a variety of possibilities about Joyce’s character. We currently know her as Jonathan and Will’s mom. I did briefly touch on one hypothetical in which Joyce might not be, under all circumstances in the series, “mom” a few months ago but I haven’t discussed it extensively because it’s an idea that I doubt would be especially popular in the fan community and is very niche to my current thoughts on the series. You can read my speculation on “a Joyce who is not mom” in this blogpost here at this link. I do see it as hypothetically possible that there is a Joyce that is an alter. Hypothetically. There are many possibilities, but I do see this as one of many hypotheticals. I recognize this is a very controversial “what if?” and many will see it as highly unlikely, but the possibility that there is a Joyce who is not mom and that is perhaps a very well-loved and trustworthy person in the DID System’s life and who has an introject alter based on the “original Joyce” who might not be a parent but perhaps is, in the external world, a doctor or a nurse or a therapist that Will and Jonathan know as “mom” was something that I have considered. Maybe. Hypothetically. Perhaps.

I am working on a very long blogpost in which I’ll explore a handful of very different hypotheticals about Hopper’s character and my thoughts about his role as the “deeply flawed but protective dad” in the story as well as address my thoughts regarding his relationship with Joyce. Hopper’s dynamic with Will and Hopper’s dynamic with El are also very interesting to me, so I’ll definitely be exploring his relationship with each of them in that WIP blogpost as well.

I’ve avoided talking about Hopper and Joyce for a while because many of the hypotheticals that I’ve considered about their characters are rather incompatible with current popular fandom ideas about their relationship. I don’t really ship Jopper, but it’s arguably one of the most popular ships in the fan community. There are one or two scenarios in which I could see Jopper being “endgame” but there are a handful of hypotheticals in which I see them absolutely not being a couple at all. I’ll be discussing most of these hypotheticals that I’ve considered in the Hopper blogpost that I’m working on. Originally I wasn’t going to talk about Hopper at all until after season 4 because I was anxious about how my ideas might be received by the fan community, but given that even the most mundane opinions that I’ve expressed over the last year have resulted in me receiving a few angry anonymous messages I figured: screw it. If I can’t even ship Byler or like Bob Newby without getting a little bit of harassment and pushback from other fans then I may as well talk about whatever I want and share all of my ideas. So I will be finally sharing all of my ideas about Hopper and his relationship with Joyce, El, and Will. The blogpost I’m working on will probably take a while to finish but I hope to publish it before season 4 is released.

When I’m thinking about different theories and possibilities for what might be happening in Stranger Things I rarely feel as if there’s only one possible route for the story to take. Yes, I do at this point feel very confident that there is a meta narrative happening in the story and that not everything is as fans currently believe them to be regarding both the character relationships and what each character is dealing with, but the possibilities that exist within that are vast. I might suspect that Stranger Things is intended to be about a DID System, but this creates millions of possibilities for the route that the story could take. I might believe that I’m starting to notice certain consistent details that imply the Stranger Things universe is based on something that has a logic and structure to it, but that doesn’t mean that I’m suddenly psychic and can predict what will happen within that universe’s structure. The story is in the hands of the writers, and I’m eager to see where they take it.

“Also, how do you think they would reveal this theory to the audience in a way that they understand?”

I wrote about how this could hypothetically be explored and revealed in the show in this blogpost here. 

“I find it interesting but I think if they outright state it, it could be seen as sensationalizing DID by comparing it to scifi and could receive criticism.”

Although it is hypothetically possible that writers could choose to create a fictional story in which superpowers are real and a character with DID also happens to have superpowers, and this has been done before in popular media (ex. David Haller, aka Legion, who was first introduced in the X-Men comics in 1985 and who has dissociative identity disorder and who has alters with mutant abilities) I personally currently theorize that all of the fantastical events that have happened in Stranger Things so far might be intended to have happened exclusively in internal worlds and not in the external world at all. Events that take place in internal worlds are not limited by the rules of physics and what is “real” in the same way that events that take place in our external world are. Events in internal worlds can be very metaphorical and fantastical because they exist within the mind. The scifi and fantasy elements of the story could, hypothetically, be directly tied to fantastical events that are not sensationalized but are truly accurate to the way that some (but not all) real DID Systems might process memories and trauma within their internal worlds. Internal worlds aren’t dreams, they’re much more vivid and consistently structured and they are often structured around real-world experiences that they’ve experienced, however I want to very loosely compare an internal world to a “dream world” in order to clarify why having fantastical events and monsters and characters with superpowers in an internal world would not necessarily be sensationalizing DID but rather portraying a realistic hypothetical. Telling a story that features internal worlds in a DID System in which fantastical events happen is not inherently sensationalization since fantastical events can and do happen in some real DID Systems’ internal worlds and that is not something that is exaggerated or fictionalized at all. What might seem unrealistic and fantastical to us might be very real for them and most especially for alters who spend significant amount of time in internal worlds. To alters that live in internal worlds exclusively and never front in the body the internal world is their real world and, comparatively, our world might feel very fictitious and unreal to them. But it’s definitely important to keep in mind that every DID System will be very different, and that any one example of a DID System isn’t necessarily comparable to others since their unique experiences will define the way that their System works.

The ethics of “should a popular show like Stranger Things be about DID” is a complex question and an important one, but I haven’t explored it extensively because I believe we do not currently have enough information regarding the approach and the resources that the production team and writers have taken in the creation of the Stranger Things universe and story in order to discuss those ethics at much depth quite yet. If the story is, in fact, about DID or a specific mental condition: did they consult with medical experts? Are any DID Systems directly involved in the production as consultants? Is this particular series entirely fictionalized or are certain plotpoints based on real DID Systems’ experiences? If they are not basing the events of the story on a “true story” then what are the ethics of creating an original story about a fictional DID System? I do believe it is important that creators make a conscious effort to be informed and ethical in their approach to storytelling that involves any real-world medical references, especially with regard to commonly misunderstood and misrepresented conditions like DID, but given the nature of Stranger Things and the way that I believe we are not yet aware of the “bigger picture” of what is happening in the story because the writers intend for it to be revealed in future seasons, I do not think we know enough of the context of the creation of the show in order to begin discussing those nuances. I think and hope that we will learn a lot more over the next few years as seasons 4 and 5 are released. The question of “should they” is a different topic than “are they,” however. Whether they “should” or whether they are doing it “well” will need to be discussed if and when we know if they actually are doing it and also once we know more about their creative approach to the subject matter and what resources they have used in the creation of the Stranger Things universe. I think the direction that the story takes next is also going to be important regarding the assessment of whether or not the story was written ethically, too. If they reveal, for example, that the story is about a DID System that has murdered people or done terrible things then I would immediately say “nope, that’s a misrepresentation and a continued stigmatization of a deeply misunderstood community and I see the story as being unethically done.” But we don’t know what will happen in season 4 and 5 yet. Thus far all I can say is that I believe the writers have effectively encouraged us, as fans, to deeply empathize with and care about El and Will and Hopper and everyone and that this gives me hope that whatever the story is about that the writers are taking an approach that is deeply respectful of those who are neurodivergent or dealing with mental illness like PTSD etc. They’re the heroes and survivors and they are not the villains. And that in itself matters very much. But I guess we will see what happens in next in the series and whether or not the story is about DID or is about something else entirely.

“I hope you’re well, btw!”

Thank you! ^_^ I’m doing really well right now. 

...

*As always please keep in mind that I'm doing my best to explain things as well as I can but that, ultimately, if you'd like to learn more about DID and internal worlds and alters that you should find up-to-date and recent medical resources on these subjects. I am not a medical resource I'm a stranger on the internet talking about a fictional Netflix series.

[giant-dekubowl-ship]

Hooky is a DAMM GOOD webtoon and you should all read it.

Every want to read a long-running epic? Do you like magic and witchcraft in your stories? Is the thought of a colorful cast (literally and figuratively) enough to catch your attention? Do you like stories that are all about love - familial,  romantic and platonic? Want all of what was mentioned above to be renditioned in beautifully drawn and flowing tapestries? 

If so then Hooky - a webtoon by Miriam Bonastre Tur is just for you.

Its a story deserving of a seat next to the ‘greats’ people quote when talking about storytelling on the level of Avatar: The Last Airbender and the like. This is not being said lightly. The pitfalls of any kind of story that goes on for longer than a few episodes or chapters or storytelling arcs is that they may lose their way. Lose track of what the initial chapters were trying to tell or lose focus and bloat up into messy storytelling. This can happen in any medium and webtoon is certainly not immune. 

There are many great stories in webtoon - but many, just like a certain shonen jump manga which continued and stretched until the publisher itself decided to give it the infamous ax - continue their stories until they are unrecognizable. Sometimes, ending the story at just the right time makes a story that much more precious to its readers.

On webtoon, there are certainly quite a few great stories both ongoing and complete that have this ephemeral air of just right. Those kinds of stories that read confidently with the attitude of an individual who has a goal and will and does complete it. 

I personally have many series I hold dear to my heart which are themselves webtoons. Today though I’m here to talk about Hooky. 

The Story 

Hooky, a series so good, that if it were a manga I’d want it turned into an anime and if it were a comic I’d want it turned into a cartoon. And even as a webtoon, I just want someone to bring this to the big screens. 

Its a story about many things. At its heart, it's about love and the lack thereof it (as cheesy as this sounds). Divides from distrust, lashings from hatred, misunderstandings from miscommunication all looked at different levels. From the interpersonal to the societal. Miriam weives a careful and interesting narrative on what can quickly become a complicated and controversial topic. 

Its a series that starts off quaint and oh so very sweet. Akin to Disney's retelling of all the classic fairy tales. 

Two twins, Dani and Dorian dash through a pastel rendition of a Spanish village, dressed in matching black robes as they run late for their school bus. Upon missing their only ticket to the hidden rendition of Hogwarts this world has they have a brilliant idea to hide this from their parents. And instead, find a mentor in magic as an alternative. 

From then on its a swirling adventure as these children navigate a world they’ve obviously never interacted with. It's a fairy tale - but not from Disney - that takes some interesting inspiration from the famous stories fables. Hansel and Gretel being an example which comes to mind. 

Going back to comparing Hooky with Avatar - it’s a story with its high and low moments for the characters. Just like Aang, the main duo of this story, don’t always get to play around with their equivalent of Elephant koi. It’s at times grim but not overly gritty. It doesn't revel in life’s tragedies any more than it indulges in fantasy’s escapism.  

Our main characters find themselves in a world they quickly realize they know very little about and it is quickly made obvious to both us the viewer and the twins, that not everything is exactly as simple as it seems to the inexperienced eyes of the child twins. 

In a way, they are almost perfect reflections to us readers. Ignorant and oblivious to the reality of this open and unexplored world. Almost except for the fact that unlike them, we have some grounding story elements of the initial fables interwoven into the narrative. 

Taking inspiration from a story does not mean copying it however and this is certainly true of Hooky, which is it's own grounded and fleshed out tale.

The world-building starts off in the form of little one-off lines and details which quickly snowball into a predominant feature of the story. Something that demands the attention of both you and the characters. The story and its contents evolve and mature just like the characters as they grow up both figuratively and literally. 

Scenes and events happening as early as chapter one will come back later. Twists, turns, self-fulfilling prophecies - all of which given this series a wonderful re-read value (in addition to the first read-through ride). 

There’s so much I could say about Hooky and it’s story and storytelling. However, much of it is walled off behind intricate layers of world-building and scenes - all of which are too spoil-ery for me to justify, well, spoiling it. 

Instead, I’ll move forward to another greatly quality of this story: Its characters. 

The Characters 

This story’s characters are much of its charm. If you can’t find yourself enjoying Dani and Dorian’s antics along with their friends - then much of this story will fall flat. 

They should not though, because, every character it a well and finely crafted piece of art. 

First, we have the main duo: the aforementioned twins. Both are polar opposites in character, as many twins tend to be written - but both come off as very genuine and their sibling love for each other comes across even more so. 

It’s the little things that make them work. The sibling bickering, the disagreements that put them at odds but eventually bring them back together. The fierce care and protectiveness they have despite this and hostility that will sprout against anyone that attacks one or the other. They won’t be finishing each other’s sentences but no one else in the world would understand their unsaid words better than they do with each other. 

Dorian, the brother is the ‘book smart’, the skill. He likes to think of himself as a well-read gentleman but isn't all that prideful over it (for the most part). He doesn’t handle the more rambunctious boys his age well despite his admiration of them and needs to socialize. 

If there is one thing he’s proud and or defensive over it’s his magic. His wizard heritage and family name - no matter what the outside world’s opinion of it is hell stubbornly hold on to it. A flip side to his genuine and endearing clumsiness when friends are in the picture is the fact that he is perhaps more cynical or anxious than his sister. He’s far from perfect, but again this is due to his youth and inexperience rather than any lingering personality flaw. Throughout the story, he does many things, both good and bad - but everything he does is consistent and grounded as the individual he’s been built up to be. 

Dani is the more outgoing of the two twins, she’s more so the ‘raw power’ of the duo. Despite being just as sheltered as her brother, she’s a step ahead of her brother when facing the uncertain, confident, adventurous but rash - despite how this gets her into trouble. 

She is, however just as sensitive as her brother. In fact, all the while being more outgoing it can seem like she is more easily pressured by the views of others on her than her bother at times, the more easily influenced by the world around her. 

There is also a vast supporting cast of characters in addition to our interesting twin due. Some of which I doubt hesitate to even call just “side” characters with the role they continuously play. 

There’s Nico, a rambunctious village boy - who just wants to properly get the chance to grow up as a wizard’s apprentice despite his ‘lack’ of ability with magic. He’s first introduced as one of those ‘rough around the edges’ individuals with a somewhat un-empathetic temperament. 

As the story’s scope grows and as our characters mature with their experiences, however, Nico is quickly one of the characters who take the lead in his development. Considering where he started, he ends up one of the most grounded and wise characters.

Our next character is Princess Monica. As per her moniker - she certainly starts off impersonating her title. Stuffy, self-aggrandising, very obtuse regarding the lives of everyday people - the list goes one. Her introduction is set with her decision to embark on a quest to find her prince charming. 

Just like our main character duo, she is very sheltered, however. And quickly she’ll discover that her wants and beliefs may clash with reality. This pompous air (which may annoy some readers) thankfully, does not last long. Monica quickly blooms to be one of the most empathetic and hardworking characters within the story. Her blooming relationship with Dorian is as agonisingly anxiety inducing as it is heartwarming to see. 

I could talk at length about the other characters, but if I did this post would go on and on. But certainly, Mark, Alex, Damien, Will, Master Pendragon, the King, the Wytte family - all are intriguing and compelling characters which will keep you around if you’re not hooked already. 

The Art 

The final thing to this post is me just briefly discussing the art. If you haven't noted already from the screenshots - it’s gorgeous and unique. Here the author/artist takes full advantage of the medium provided to her. Scenes will flow down for pages, something only possible in the webtoon. Characters will talk in coloured speech bubbles, something only possible in coloured and static media such as comics. 

The art in this series is nothing close to static, however. It's dynamic and inventive in its paneling in a way that brings so much charm to the series. 

Emotional moments are that much more impactful as you, the readers, are swept through both dream-like and nightmarish scenes alike. Scenes will flow just as much as they will pause between panels, letting words and emotions soak in. They build up awe as well as they do tension and dread. The artistry of the author develops along with the story is nothing short of beautiful especially as we reach the current ending arc’s climax and denouement. 

To Summarise 

Hooky is a well-crafted piece of writing that I hope more people learn about and get to read. It's currently going into its final arc (as of writing this post) and I can attest that it certainly is worth the read. While as a story it enjoyed taking after the grim origins of our favourite fairy tales, it never forgets what it once was - a story about two twins just missing their school bus - and it makes sure to show the readers it hasn’t forgotten with a fairy tale ending fit for a child’s bedtime story its so sweet. 

[thiswasinevitableid]

#7 with Sternclay, for the prompts?

Here you go!  I went NSFW

#7: I’m assigned to write a piece rounding up all the bad press that you, a famous celebrity, have been getting and you show up in my office and demand me to write a retraction and get the ‘real’ story”

Barclay is so excited; he’s going to be spending two weeks on the Dual Mesa set, writing an exclusive behind the scenes story that’s sure to give the magazine a big sales boost. 

“Ah, Barclay, come in.” Ned Chicane, the show’s director, ushers him into his office, “I assume they told you we will be leaving to shoot on location tomorrow?”

“Yes, I, uh, I’m really honored that you chose Q to run your story; your cast is so diverse, it really resonates with our readers.”

Ned waves a hand in faux-humility, “Why create a show with paranormal elements that simply recreates homogeneity? However, my dear boy, you were not chosen by me.”

“I requested it.” Barclay turns as a tall man with dark hair enters the office, and has the sudden urge to hide under the nearest table. The man currently staring him down with bright blue eyes and a mild-yet-clearly displeased expression is Joseph Stern, star of Dual Mesa and subject of a very unflattering article Barclay published a week ago.

“Look, Mr. Stern, I-”

“Quiet.” Stern holds up his hand, “I asked Ned to give Q a boost by granting access to the shoot because I think the magazine does excellent work. I asked for you to give you a chance to prove yourself.”

“Excuse me?” 

“Your writing is quite good, but clearly your research and fact checking needs some work.”

“Just because you don’t like it-”

“I don’t, but that’s not the issue. You published things that are patently false and easily provable as such. For instance, the claim that I got this role by sleeping with the director has two major flaws; one, Ned is not my type.”

“There’s no accounting for poor taste.” Ned says, clearly unbothered, 

“And two, Mr. Mosche would break my fingers if I tried to fuck his husband.” He points to the corner of the room where a large, tattooed man sits reading.

“Right you are.” He looks up long enough to reply. 

“And anyone on set could have told you that. Whatever your sources were, you didn’t do due diligence. So you’ll be trying again.”

“Look, buddy, where do you get off giving me orders?”

“By being the star they’d have the hardest time killing off.”

“And by raising good points.” Ned stands, “asking for a flat retraction would reflect poorly on the show, as it would look as if we were trying to hide the truth. This allows you to correct misconceptions as well as get exclusive looks at next season.”

“You’re literally a paid actor, how the hell do I know you aren’t faking these two weeks?” 

“You won’t be spending all your time with him; you’ll be interviewing others as well and have opportunities to observe him without him knowing.” Ned pats Barclays shoulder, “but he will be responsible for introducing you to the rest of the cast” 

Barclay glances at Stern, who lifts an eyebrow with a smirk.

“So. Have fun with that!” 

-----------------------------------------

The introduction the next day goes as well as trying to light a match in a hurricane. Stern is polite and professional when Barclay arrives, introduces him to the cast and the main crew without mentioning the article. But it’s clear Barclay’s reputation precedes him.

“You really got Joe figured all wrong.” Duck Newton, who plays good-hearted Sheriff Frank Roosevelt on the show, pulls Barclay aside as Stern and co-star Aubrey Little (who plays Lucille, a plucky young woman with a dark past) get ready to shoot. 

“So everyone keeps saying, but I didn’t make that stuff up. It turned up when I researching him.”

“Don’t mean someone else didn’t just pull it out of their ass.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” Barclay sighs, rubbing his forehead. 

“Look, all I know is Joe’s been nothin but kind a professional to me. I’d even call him a friend. Know he can come off as intimidatin and rigid sometimes, but he’s a good guy.”

Barclay hears variations of this sentiment over and over during the next two days. It’s part of why he’s currently sitting inside his motel room not far from the main set, eating dinner alone. Indrid, the costume designer had actually invited him to eat with a few members of the crew.  Barclay demurred. If the bulk of the people on set think he’s a jerk, he doubts they’ll be that open to getting to know him. Plus, he’s kind of humiliated at how little actual evidence he can find for the claims against Stern, and doesn’t want to give the other man a chance to gloat. 

There’s a knock on the door, and he opens it to find the last person he expects, or wants, to see. 

“Good evening, Barclay.” Out of costume, Stern almost looks ordinary. There’s still the unfair symmetry of his face, the way he makes jeans and t-shirt look somehow sophisticated. 

“Uh, something you need from me?”

Stern looks past him to his cobbled together dinner; Barclay’s a good cook, but the damn room doesn’t have anything more than a microwave. 

“The chance to buy you an actual dinner.”

Barclay’s about to point out that he’s not eating in the commissary tent because of Stern when the actor adds, “please?”

He grabs his wallet and joins Stern in the still-warm evening air, following him into the few blocks that make up downtown Sagebrush, the former mining town that makes up much of Dual Mesa’s background. He expects them to stop at the Mizpah, the sole fancy hotel and restaurant, but Stern guides him past it and into a kitschy diner. 

They study their menus in silence, the pleather booths squeaking awkwardly whenever one of them moves. 

Barclay orders the burger plate that comes with a slice of pie and Stern, surprisingly goes for an omelette off the all-day breakfast menu.

“Barclay I, well, it’s obvious we got off on the wrong foot. I want you to know that as much as the article upset me, I don’t want you to be miserable while you’re here. No ones going to shun you for what you wrote.”

“Pretty clear they’re all on your side.” Barclay sips his water, meeting Stern’s gaze.

“There don’t need to be sides; you want to write an accurate profile of what it’s like on set, and I want to not have my name dragged through the mud anymore. Those come out to be the same thing.”

“You seem real fucking confident.” Barclay narrows his eyes. 

Stern’s hackles go up, but then he sets his hands on the table with a measured breath, “I don’t pretend to be perfect, Barclay. I’m aware, well aware, of my flaws. But none of those flaws match what you wrote about me. I’m not asking to look untouchable in your piece, I’m asking to look like myself.”

Barclay looks down, spots him nervously shredding his napkin. As he’s thinking, a teenager in a tricolor tank-top approaches the table. 

“Um, sorry, but are you Joseph Stern? The guy who plays agent Hooper?”

Stern smiles, genuine and reassuring, “I am.”

“Could I, uh, get a picture? Like a selfie?” 

“Of course.”

Barclay watches Stern pose with the kid and compliment his pride shirt, before waving goodbye as he scurries back to his table to show his friends the photo.

“That doesn’t bother you?”

Stern shakes his head, “It happens pretty often, especially in town where most people know what I look like in my street clothes, so I’m used to it. Besides, for a lot of these kids there’s more than just the celebrity angle. I can count the number of gay, trans, Asian-american actors on T.V when I was kid with one hand,” He holds up a fist to indicate a zero, “if the price of being that person for kids now is posing for some pictures, I’ll pay it any day.”

Warmth blooms in his chest, the sincerity making him want to trade a truth in return, “Yeah, I remember looking for guys like me and not seeing them. I’d just pick a character I liked and kinda projected. Except the X-Files; then I just had a huge fucking crush on Mulder. Oh, thanks.” He smiles at the waitress as she sets his food down.

“I know that feeling. Somewhere there are pictures of me dressed as him for a Halloween party.”

“Heh, I haven’t dressed up for Halloween in ages.” Barclay munches on a fry, “Last three times I went as Bigfoot. It was an easy costume and kept my face hidden.”

“That’s a shame for the other party-goers.”

Barclay coughs, choking on his fry, as Stern blushes, shoves a piece of toast into his mouth, and changes the topic to books. 

The next day, when Barclay arrives on location and everyone is milling about getting ready to shoot, Stern pats the chair near his own and talks with him until he’s needed on camera. Over the next week, Barclay finds himself next to Stern more often than not, comparing notes on the mystery novels they’ve been passing back and forth, or explaining his job moonlighting as a cookbook editor, or listening to the actor describe his travels to the locations of famous cryptid sightings. What surprises him most is how charming he finds Stern when he’s nowhere near a camera. On set, in character as Special Agent Alex Hooper, he radiates the quiet charm that makes his character so beloved. When they’re alone it’s different, a little less polished and little nerdier, and rather than captivating him it makes Barclay want to protect him.

It turns out that slips of the tongue happen to Stern a lot, at least when he’s around Barclay. “Sec” routinely becomes “sex” and comments about Barclay’s size and strength come often, Stern always sheepish afterwards. As if his attention is something Barclay may not want rather than something he craves like a four-course meal. 

When he starts daydreaming about asking Stern back to his motel room after one of their now-regular dinners together (that Stern always pays for), he knows he’s in trouble. 

“Helllloo?” 

He jumps, chuckles in surprise as Aubrey finishes waving her hand in front of his face, “Sorry, was thinking about dinner.’

“I was saying thanks for coming out while we shoot this. I know how hard it can be to pull away from your ‘muse’.” She wiggles her eyebrows and Barclay feels the blush overrun him. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll let him figure it out on his own.” Aubrey winks, the groans, “aw fuck here he comes.”

Robert Hayes, who plays the recurring role of Hooper’s supervisor, appears in the grove where they’re shooting a scene with just him and Aubrey. Barclay steps out of frame, Aubrey hissing “don’t leave me” as he does.

“I can’t believe Ned is letting Indrid do more alternative looks for you.”

“It works for Lucille.”

“It would work better if she was more conventionally attractive.”

Barclay growls under his breath; how dare this guy talk to his friend that way?

“Well, obviously not, because the audience likes me like this. And they have opinions worth listening too.”

The tension remains throughout the shoot, Barclay tensing every time Hayes opens his mouth. He pretends to be busy when the actor comes over to join him. 

“I’m glad you’re planning on expanding your take-down of Stern.”

“I never said that. I’m writing about the new season of the show.”

“If you want more information about what he’s really like, I’ll be happy to chat with you in private.” The older man pats his shoulder and heads off to his trailer. 

Barclay waits until he’s gone, then goes to look for Ned. He has a hunch the director might like to know about Haye’s offer. 

-------------------------------------------

“...guess Ned put him in his place.” Stern finishes adjusting his tie as the scene sets up, “Sounds like he wanted his character to become the eventual lead, and thought shit-talking me would be the way to go.”

“I’m glad it’s sorted out.” Barclay pretends to be studying his notes so he doesn’t stare too noticeably at Stern’s ass.

“Me too. Thanks, Barclay.” Stern steps onto set, and as Ned begins running through the scene with Stern and the actor playing his (unbeknownst to him) alien lover, Bee, Barclay wishes he’d chosen to be elsewhere. Because this is a sex scene. With Stern. That he will be watching. 

No, damn it, he’s a professional. His butt is staying in this chair.

He makes it through the several takes of the dialogue just fine, starts sweating a little when he kissing begins. Stern’s kisses strike a balance between tender and passionate, perfectly in character, and Barclay would give his right arm to trade places with Bee. 

The action moves to the bed, Stern caressing his lover as they unbutton his shirt.

Okay, now he’d give his right arm and leg to be the one beneath him. 

He reminds himself this airs on TNT, not HBO, so it can’t get much more explicit.

Sterns whole body drips with soft dominance as he pins Bee to the bed, cooing that he’s never seen a finer sight.

Fine, his right arm, leg, and any non-vital organs, he’ll trade them all in a second to hear Stern say that to him, even if it’s only pretend. 

He doesn’t make it through the second take of the bed scene, hurries away as quietly as unobtrusively as he can. There’s no way he can make it to his motel like this, cock pressing so hard against his jeans he’s afraid he’ll end up with a zipper mark. And the bathrooms aren’t exactly private. He does have the key to Stern’s trailer, the actor having given it to him in case he needed somewhere air conditioned to rest from the heat. The trailer that is very nearby.

Does he dare?

The question hardly registers before he’s at the door, unlocking it and ducking inside before anyone sees. He leans against the counter with a groan, unzipping his pants and praying the pre-cum that immediately streaks his hand hasn’t made a noticeable spot in the denim. 

He fumbles around to find some tissues, not wanting to face the humiliation of Stern walking in to find him cleaning cum off of his cabinets (he does actually want that humiliation, and badly, but not without Stern’s consent).

The strokes are hard and fast, his eyes shut so tight he sees static as he imagines Stern behind him, saying how much he wants him, how needy he is, how he’ll take care of him. He grits his teeth, breath leaving him in faint hisses and stifled moans until the temptation to say Stern’s name overwhelms him. 

“Joe, Joe, fuck, Joe.”

“Yes, big guy?” A voice purrs in his ear as hands bracket him against the counter. 

“Fuck” He tries to freeze, finds he’s shaking too much from want and worry to do so. 

“You forgot to lock the door, silly boy. I, however, did not.”

“I’m, I’m sorry, I just needed to, fuck, I didn’t mean for you-”

One hand leaves the counter, strokes the base of his neck and toys with his hair, “what about this suggests I’m angry with this, um, development?”

Barclay whimpers, feet unwilling to turn and look Stern in the eye.

“Should I stop?” The tease goes from his voice.

All he can do is whimper again and shake his head.

The hand leaves his neck, slides down Barclay’s arm to rest atop his hand on the counter. The other takes it’s time snaking down his stomach and hips.

“Poor Barclay, no wonder you had to leave.” His hand nudges Barclay’s aside, takes it’s place around his cock, “you can probably see this thing from space. I’m taking this as a testament to my acting skills.” A laugh as he kisses Barclay’s neck, stroking him slowly. 

“Please don’t say this is acting too.” 

“It’s not.” A kiss to his cheek, a twist along his cock, both making him weak-kneed, “do you know what I was thinking about during that scene? I was thinking about you, what you’d look like if I fucked you. It’s only a quirk of anatomy” he grinds against Barclay’s ass,  “that means I didn’t have a noticeable reaction on camera.”

“Fuck, Joe, more, please I need more of you, all of you, I’m so fucking close.”

The hand on his cock pulls away, “not just yet, big guy. Do you want me to fuck you?”

“Uhuh.” He whines, pushing his hips forward to bump his cock along Stern’s hand. 

A light smack on the ass, “behave. Take everything off and wait for me on the bed.”

“Uh huh.” He turns, only for a hand to firmly grasp his chin and force him to stay eye to eye with Stern.

“Try that response again, big guy, with better manners.”

“Y-yes, s-sir, I, I understand.” 

He’s yanked into a demanding, possessive kiss, Stern stroking his cheek approvingly when he releases him, “Good boy. Is this alright?”

“Yes, yesyes, Joe, please, I love it, don’t stop.”

“I won’t, unless you say so. Promise you will if you need to?”

“I swear, cross my heart, babe, please.”

A loving laugh, coupled with a peck on the lips, “bed.”

Barclay strips so quickly he loses his balance, landing on the bed as he fights to pull off his pants. He tries to calm himself by folding his clothes and setting them aside, certain that if he gets more excited he’ll become the first confirmed case of human combustion.

“Hands and knees, please.” 

“Oh fuck me.” 

Stern is standing by the bed, naked from the waist down save for a strap-on, but still in his special agent clothes from the waist up. 

“Do you like the suit, big guy?”

“Yessir.”

“Good to know. Maybe next time I’ll wear the whole thing while I fuck you. Now” he climbs onto the bed, “try to relax for me.”

A condom-covered finger presses against his ass as soon as he’s on his hands and knees, Stern working him open efficiently yet gently until he’s begging for more. Stern ruffles his hair, and then the toy is pushing into him. It’s narrow, so the stretch isn’t too bad, and for a moment he wonders if it will even do much for him. 

“Let me see, if I just-”

“FUCKfuck”  The curve of the toy finds his prostate.

“That’s part of why this is a favorite of mine, it’s so effective” he thrusts harder, “at finding the right spots.”

“Mhhhmmmmm” Barclay bites the pillow to muffle his moans and growls, wiggles his hips as Stern finds his pace. 

“The other reason I like it…”

“SHIT, babe, baby, ohfuck that’s good.” The toy vibrates, sending heat all through him, “fuck, I’m gonna come in like th-thirty seconds from that.”

“Thirty seconds? Let’s see if you’re right, big guy.”

“GaaAAHfuck, Joe, yeah, yeahyesbabeyes.” He gives up on being quiet as the actor rams into him, drops to his elbows when the intensity makes it impossible to anything other than moan and and grunt and take it. 

“That’s it, good boy, let’s see just how hard you are for me” Stern pants as he reaches around, teasing the head of Barclay’s cock, “perfect, you’re doing wonderfully, fuck” a groan of gratification as Barclay spurts across the bed, “messy, god I love making you come apart, even I might make you clean that with you tongue later.”

“Oh god.” Barclay moans, drool staining the pillow, as Stern loops an arm tightly around his waist and grinds, the toy still bumping and rumbling inside his ass.

“Nnn, Barclay, yes, hold out just a little longer, let me get off on this perfect ass.”

Barclay whines, sensitivity overloading his circuits and driving him wild.

“Just a little more big guy, fuck, fuck, lord almighty I’m close, c’mon, you can handle it, you can be good and take me as long as I need.”

“Yes, yes, wanna take you, wanna be yours, wanna serve you.”

“Fuck” Stern doubles over, hips working frantically, “that’s it, good boy, if you’re in this bed you, fuck, your only job is to please me.”

“Yes” Barclay sobs just as Stern moans into his shoulder. When he pulls out, Barclay flops, limp, onto his side. 

“You with me, baby?” Stern wiggles out of the harness, lays so they’re face to face and cups Barclay’s cheek.

“Mmhmm. Fuck” he pulls Stern into a hug, “I can’t believe we just did that. That was fucking amazing.”

“Didn’t take you for the sub type.”

“Everyone always wants me to be big ‘n dommy. Don’t wanna. Wanna be someone’s good boy.” He’s slurring, mind still a bit foggy. 

“You can be mine. In, um in not just a sex way, although it can be just a sex thing if you want it to.”

“Nope” He cuddles him closer, then it hits him, “you’re asking me to be your boyfriend?”

“Please?”

“Yes. Yes. Yes” He kisses him after each answer, making them both laugh. 

“It won��t fuck up your work?”

“I’ll ask Mama what she thinks, we might need to transfer the rest of the article to Thacker. Uh, maybe this is silly but, uh, can I take you to dinner? My treat?”

Stern kisses him, stars in his eyes and a hundred watt smile on his face, “that sounds perfect, big guy.”

[rhetorical-ink]

Rhetorical Ink Reviews: Cats 2019

Also known as, “The Movie That Nearly Broke Me.”

**PURRRRFECTLY PLACED SPOILERS BELOW**

Okay, so my best friend and I saw this film today on New Year’s Eve -- it was $5 movie day at the theater and we had heard it was bad. What a better way to cap off this year and decade, right?

To set the scene, the woman at the ticket counter commented, “I haven’t seen it, but I’ve heard mixed reviews.” Another employee said, as we were about to walk in the theater, “I heard it was pretty bad.” Votes of confidence all around, y’all. 

Little did I know what was about to happen. I could easily do a Top Twenty WTF moments of this movie....which is exactly what I’m going to do.

My Top TWENTY (because it’s needed) Thoughts on Cats the Movie: 

20. Meeting Victoria

The movie starts with a cat being dumped in an alley -- this is Victoria, a humanoid (more on that below) cat that is reluctantly approached by the rest of the alley cats. They question whether she will fit in as a “Jellicle Cat,” and we get an instant music number where they describe all of the traits of a Jellicle Cat, which we can assume is their “Group” or “Tribe.” The only point that is slightly odd is that their “traits” that define a Jellicle Cat...are basically traits of all cats. Is this group just unaware? Is this a cult? More. On. This. Be-Low.

19. Munkustrap 

So, my favorite cat in this whole thing is Munkustrap -- or rather, the actor playing Munkustrap. Seriously, this man is giving 10000% and after researching, you find out he is a Tony-nominated ballet dancer --- IT MAKES SENSE. If you can get a chance to watch this -- watch his movement and facial expressions in every scene. The man is clawing up the scenery and his intensity is terrifying. 

18. And Then...There’s Rebel Wilson.

Okay, speaking of terrifying. About 10 minutes into the movie, we’re introduced to Rebel Wilson. If you’ve watched the trailers and seen her -- those are the TAME scenes. Seriously, my friend and I were questioning whether this film was okay or bad, and then...Rebel Wilson is introduced. 

Her musical number made me say out loud, “WTF” about seven times. There is nothing I can do to prepare you for animated mice with children faces or cockroaches with female faces who are being eaten alive by a furry Rebel Wilson. If people walked out at this point, I would not have blamed them 1%. 

17. James Corden and Rebel Wilson Don’t Fit In This Movie.

In all fairness, much of the cast are ballet or dancers and Broadway voices -- which is great for a musical. James Corden and Rebel Wilson completely throw off the tone of the film. Their jokes are not humorous, and both characters rely on self-deprecation...their scenes are probably among the strangest in the film, and completely ruin the tone of the film as it goes.

16. Jason Derulo Had His Genitals Digitally Removed. 

So, I read a headline last week with that information leaked, and that clung to my mind the entire time Derulo sings as his character, Rum Tug Tugger...to be fair, he is a great voice and his song was catchy. But... once you know, you won’t get that image out of your mind as you watch. 

15. The Twins are Creepy...and Boring.

Victoria stumbles upon two twin calico cats that mischievously rummage around a house -- before stirring up the house dog and abandoning Victoria. Their song isn’t bad -- it’s almost catchy -- but the scene goes on sooooo long, that it’s probably the only music number that drags and just feels overly long. 

14. Proportions are....not a thing?

One thing you may notice in the gifs are that proportions for these cats are odd -- in the scene with the twins, Victoria holds up a gown, and it’s as big as her, but in the next shot, she is wearing a human ring as a bracelet. 

This happens throughout the movie, as the proportions are never proper. Sometimes the cats seem normal sized in comparison to the man-made props around them. And at other times, they seem the same size as humans or the size of the creepy human-faced mice. The inconsistency is instantly noticeable. 

13. Victoria doesn’t...talk...much.

I’m not sure if this is addressed in the actual Broadway production, but in the movie, Victoria rarely speaks. Perhaps she is just a voice for the audience, but most of her action in the movie is through expression and dancing alone. Which is fine, I suppose, but as a protagonist, her lack of voice creates a lack of agency, and so when she is integral to the plot of Grisabella (Jennifer Hudson’s character), it seems a little forced.

By this point, I’m sure I seem like this review is pretty tame...well, now let’s dive into the bonkers points that happen from here on out in this film, because it gets BONKERS. 

12. Judy Dench and those Toenails

As you have probably noticed in the trailer, these cats have very humanoid features -- what you probably miss is that their hands and feet are UNEDITED. Meaning, that while you’re looking at a digital cat on screen, these digital cats have HUMAN hands and feet. At one point, Judy Dench’s purple toenail polish is present -- Jennifer Hudson’s perfect plum manicure is noticeable, too -- and Judy’s wedding ring is visible in most shots. 

It really makes me question how in the WORLD these shots got into a final product -- or why they released this film if it wasn’t complete...was there a deadline to make it before the new year? This is SO distracting that it took up a lot of my time watching the film. 

11. Hands, all the human feet and hands...

Additionally, these are very humanoid cats -- I understand that the Musical on Broadway is just people in cat suits, but if you’re going to the extreme of creating entirely CGI characters --- why not make them literal cats? Instead of these weird alien-like creatures who sometimes wear clothing and sometimes are nude well, basically with a thin layer of fur on them? 

10. Ian McClellan

Similar to Munkustrap, Sir -- SIR -- Ian McClellan gives his small role 100%, even down to acting VERY cat-like throughout. He can’t sing well, though. Better than Russell Crowe, but no Judy Dench, who also hams up her performance, well, at least until the ending. 

9. Taylor Swift and the Musical Number that Actually Works

In all honesty, Taylor Swift’s musical number introducing the villain of the piece, whom we’ve seen throughout the entire production, so I’m not sure why we’re doing this, but here we are --

--ahem, anyway, her musical number is one of the best, but it’s still a mind trip, as she basically sprinkles catnip on the crew and they all start writhing on screen. 

Also, did they make her breasts larger? Is that a thing? Is it just me? 

8. MaCavity and Things I Can’t Unsee

Idris Elba plays the villainous MaCavity, who has been trying to one-by-one pick off the cats that could qualify as “chosen” by Judy Dench. His role is a basically hammy one, but it gets worse...

At the start of the movie, he has a cap and trench coat that make him look extra villainous, but as he’s revealed by Swift’s cat, he ditches these garments. 

It was hard to find a gif of this, but it’s basically a naked Idris Elba with a tail...and if you’re thinking to yourself, “Oh, that sounds hot!” No, no it is not. It was disturbing and I won’t ever be able to watch this actor without seeing him with a thin layer of fur all over him. 

7. The Magical Mr. Mistoffelees...

As you’ve probably noticed at this point, the “Plot” if it can be called that is practically non-existent in this movie. The only elements of action we get are that Macavity is trying to kidnap the other cats so he can be chosen by Judy Dench’s cat, Deuteronomy. 

Unfortunately, Dench vows not to choose him, so he kidnaps her...to...change...her mind? It doesn’t make sense, and he even threatens her life if she doesn’t pick him. If he kills her, how will that help him get picked? 

In any case, Mr. Mistoffelees, who has THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE MOVIE told everyone that he’s a “magical” cat and can do magic, is suddenly asked if he can bring Deuteronomy back through magic....and he’s NOT SURE IF HE IS CONFIDENT ENOUGH TO DO SO.

It’s such a cop out and leads to an overly long song about everyone telling him he can do magic, until he finally does the thing and brings Judy Dench back to the other Jellicle Cats. 

I don’t mind Mr. Mistoffelees’s character, but don’t tell us you’re one thing the entire movie and then “puss out” (pun absolutely intended at this point) on the very identity feature you’ve drilled into our brains. 

6. Suspension of Belief...and Physics...

In addition to the proportions being off in this entire movie, so is the suspension of physics and belief, especially after Mr. Mistoffelees brings back Deuteronomy.

You can see in the gif below that magic starts happening everywhere to celebrate (glad we’re confident of our abilities NOW) and later with Grisabella and the climax, there’s a huge shift from reality to fantasy. Movie, what ARE YOU?! 

5. Grisabella’s Plight? 

Jennifer Hudson’s cat, Grisabella, is portrayed as an outcast who comes crawling (literally) back to the Jellicle Cats...it’s not clear whether she is wanting the chance to be chosen or not. But the other cats hate her and shun her...except the newbie, Victoria. She convinces Grisabella to come back and sing to the other cats her story. Which she does, and this changes everyone’s mind, including Deuteronomy’s. 

My issue is...what did Grisabella do? Other than run off with Macavity, who never even addresses her in the movie, what did she do? Why do the cats hate her? We never really learn this, which makes it just seem like hollow bullying. And maybe that’s it, but if it is, there needed to be SOMETHING more to give us a reason to care about Grisabella and her plight in the film. 

4. “MEMMMMMORRRRIIIIEEEESSSS!!”

Okay, yes, J. Hud. can sing. REALLY, really well. And the climax of “Memories” is done well -- it’s just....not as good as Elaine Page. There. I said it -- I’ve only seen that number from the original Broadway show, but it’s true. Page knocks it out of the park. 

I think part of the problem is that the movie doesn’t let Hudson go all out -- she does that dramatic musical moment, but then her voice and the song is restrained and just peters off...you don’t hold Jennifer Hudson back in a solo, ya here?

3. Trading a Tire for a Hot Air Balloon

In the original musical, Grisabella is chosen to be reborn and rides away from the set on a tire -- which begs the question: Is this a representation that she was run over? Is that how she is “reborn?” It would be an interesting concept to think about, but here, they just fix up the chandelier (through magic, or whatever at this point) and it becomes a hot air balloon that carries her away. Any possible conversation that could be created in this moment is sacrificed for a magical deus ex machina...and I hate it.

2. Judy Dench Came For Our Souls, Y’All

The resolution of this film is what killed my brain. 

Judy Dench looks DIRECTLY into the camera,

DIRECTLY into our souls,

and proceeds to give a lengthy and unnecessary review of why cat names are important -- which really has been the thesis of this movie, hasn’t it?

There is an interjected chorus between her speaking, but seriously, this ending is longer than Return of the King -- and her looking right at us the audience only made me feel more and more uncomfortable -- to the point where I was laughing, and crying, and feeling like a puddle of mush. 

1. My Mouth During This Whole Film...

...Was agape. Seriously, this movie is not just bad; it’s unfinished, confused on its adaptation, and just bonkers. The only things that possibly work are the vocals, with the exception of McClellan, but the lyrics and premises are just so bizarre that good singing can’t save your brain being completely confused as to what it’s watching. 

If you can get a cheap seat, or go to a $5 cinema like I did, you could see this with a group of friends as a joke.

But otherwise, AVOID this. It’s the 2010′s version of The Room. 

Perhaps fun to watch as a cult film when it’s free on streaming later, but not worth the money now, sadly. 

[btswrckd]

Hunting a Hybrid (Side Story)

Summary: Suho reflects on his encounter with Y/N and the job he worked with her years ago. And how it ended in disaster. Told from Suho’s POV

Warnings: swearing, violence, mentions of blood

A/N: I managed to sneak this into my drafts when I was at my brother’s place and he let me borrow his laptop. It was an idea rattling around in my head while I was thinking of more ideas for the main story. Side not, you will not like OC in this little mini chapter. She’s kind of (entirely) a bitch.

--------------------------

I look to Chanyeol as he drives, his long fingers cup his nose and become coated in blood. In the rearview mirror I can see a still passed out Kyungsoo, his own face mangled by her fists. I clench my own hand against my mouth in irritation; she hadn’t even broken a fucking sweat. She dropped them like sacks of potatoes in a matter of 5 minutes. Of course she did, she was Y/N after all. It should have been no surprise when we walked into The Element and picked a fight, but I was still taken aback at how quick she was. She moved so much like a cat that sometimes I thought she really could be one.

My other hand wanders underneath my shirt, the pads of my fingers tracing along the scar that healed years ago but somehow felt like it was on fire when she touched it. I shouldn’t have been scared. I shouldn’t have cried like a goddamn pansy. But I did. In front of Y/N, no less, and now she knows just how much she can still get under my skin both mentally...and physically. All this bad blood between us because I made a rookie mistake years ago, back when she was much less tamed and much, much less forgiving. 

Closing my eyes and taking in a deep breath, I let my head fall back and think about the job we both took on. That old bastard, Choi Sungil, was really to blame yet somehow I was the one nearly beaten to death. The dumbass had mistakenly hired Y/N and I to hunt down a lion hybrid he had his eye on for quite some time. Back then I wasn’t as well known as she was, but I was still doing well for myself. I definitely wasn’t as experienced and truthfully, I was hoping to use the opportunity to impress her and convince her to join the small group I’d banded together.

I remember the sneer on her face when Sungil introduced me, doubt written all over her features before she turned her back to me. She didn’t want to waste her time and I understood that then; I was a rookie and not nearly as strong as she was.

--------------------------------

“I’m sorry you’re asking me to what?” She snorted at Sungil before looking over her shoulder at her partner, the smirk on his face told me that he was equally amused by the situation.

I’m jealous that he gets to hunt by her side and is seen as an equal but she won’t even give me a chance when I’m probably better than he is!

“I can’t have the two of you tearing through the city in competition.” Sungil sighed while pinching the bridge of his nose, “Just work together. I can’t afford to pay you both separately.”

Y/N let out a huge tsk and shook her head, giving me a side eye so vicious that I became stiff. “He’s a rookie, Choi,” She argues with our employer, “You really think he’ll do me any good? He’ll only slow us down.”

I want to argue against her, want to tell her that I’m reliable and can keep up with her if she lets me try. But I don’t do that. It won’t go well for me if I not only openly challenge her but get on her nerves in the process as well.

Sungil lets out a chuckle that recaptures my attention and he says, “Suho’s reputation is established enough by now,” He gives Y/N’s partner a once over and it honestly makes my skin crawl, “Besides, I heard you were taking in strays now.”

“Watch yourself.” She growls and steps in front of the tall man, clearly not happy with the way Sungil spoke about him. She turns to me sharply and I almost gasp at the fire burning in her eyes. “I’ll take the newbie but his blood is on your hands, Choi, if he doesn’t make it.”

The way she warns him, a deadly seriousness about her, that I believe she means every word. She won’t do a damn thing to help me if we run into trouble and is saying right here and now that she won’t be responsible for what happens. 

I’m not sure why I’m being so quiet but I have a sinking suspicion that it’s because if I attempt to open my mouth, the only thing that will come out are broken words meant to form a ‘thank you’. But what the fuck am I thanking her for? Because she’s being forced to work with me? Because she straight up said she couldn’t give a shit about what happens to me?

‘Get your shit together, Suho.’ I scold myself, so lost in thought that I don’t even realize she’s already gone from the room. I excuse myself from Sungil’s office because I need to get the hell out there and start surveillance on the lion before she gets too far ahead of me.

“You should be careful, Suho,” Sungil’s voice stops me cold, a chill running down my spine. Obviously, I know to be careful, I’m not an idiot. “She’s dangerous. Of course, I don’t necessarily need to tell you that but I’m warning you anyways. Should anything happen during the job, she will kill you without hesitation. Y/N may have softened towards that little orphan she brought in with her today but make no mistake, she will not show any type of kindness to you. Watch your back, boy, or you may find yourself on the receiving end of her wrath and trust me when I say that is not something you want to happen.”

I don’t need the warning but I acknowledge it all the same and get the hell out of there as fast as I can.

I spend a few good weeks tracking the hybrid and becoming accustomed to his schedule. I watch him leave the little hovel he calls a home and shares with his family. Why Sungil doesn’t want the hybrid cubs is beyond me; they’re far more receptive to training in the long run and they’ll bring in more money than the adult. But whatever, my job isn’t to advise Sungil how to spend his efforts or run his fighting ring.

I was waiting for the call from Y/N to meet up and work out a plan but it seemed she already had one. I found this out when she called me to say that night we would make our move and that I needed to shut up, do as I say, and for damn sure not fuck up.

Okay, then.

Under the cover of night, I’m crouched behind a much too small bush but I couldn’t exactly argue about it, and watch Y/N and Taehyung stalk through the house quietly. Seriously, they are dead silent as they move through the lion’s home and I wonder, briefly, if they’re ghosts and not living people. The floorboards don’t even fucking creak under their weight and I’m so busy admiring her skills that I don’t recognize the three figures going in through the front door.

Oh shit! I need to tell them!

I’m fumbling with the walkie talkie in my hand but by the time I’m pressing down on the button to speak, they’re already in the middle of a scuffle with the family. Glass is breaking, the cubs are screaming, the lioness is pouncing on Y/N, and the lion is woken by the noise. I’m frozen in place as the lion swipes at Taehyung, claws digging into his torso and I’m sure he’s done for. But then I hear her; Y/N is calling out to the hybrid, addressing him as ‘lion’ because none of us bothered to learn his name, and out of the shadows she emerges with a knife pressed to the lioness’ neck. I wince when I catch the blade digging into the hybrid’s throat so hard that it was drawing blood. 

The lion’s not to be outdone though because he goes for another swipe at Taehyung, rage obviously overcoming any other instinct. But Y/N doesn’t think twice before she’s bringing the blade across his wife’s throat in one smooth cut, dropping the body like it was nothing before lunging at the hybrid.

There was more grunting, more blood spilled, more cries from the cubs as she lays waste to their parents. I’m sick. I’m 2 seconds from hunching over and releasing the bile gathered in my esophagus; why did I ever think I could do this the way she did? Sure I’d heard the rumors about how she worked, but seeing it in person was an entirely different story.

Before I could puke up both my breakfast and lunch, the crunching of leaves underneath someone’s heavy boot catches my attention and I look up in time to catch the back of Y/N’s hand coming across my face. I fall to the dirt, my cheek stinging, but it isn't over yet as she swings her leg back and rockets it forward to connect with my stomach. I groan but the sound of my pain doesn’t bother her, instead seemingly fueling her more with every kick to my body and before I knew it, the puke had spewed out along with some blood.

I could faintly register the slew of curse words spilling from her lips and it was then I remembered every warning from Sungil and Y/N herself; don’t fuck up or she’ll have your head. The leaves crumble beneath my clenched fist as I curl in on myself in hopes of softening the oncoming blows but it was useless against her steel toes. At some point I passed out. I know because after awhile I became numb to the pain and darkness overtook me. When I come to, I barely recognize my surroundings before it dawns on me that we’re inside the hybrid’s shack without the bodies or cubs in sight. I’m alone in a room, tied to a chair with knots so tight they dug into my skin. 

“When Sungil told me that you could handle tracking and surveillance,” Her voice startles me and I try to speak up but the acidic taste in my mouth stops me from doing that, “he sounded pretty confident in your skills.”

She was in front of me now, one hand on her knees as she looks me in the eye and the other swings the same knife from before in front of my face. She’s angry. No, she’s livid, fury swirling in her dark eyes and I want to ask if Taehyung made it, but I’d already be dead if he wasn’t breathing anymore. So, he’s alive, and I’m about to die.

“Choi’s really going to regret hiring you, Suho,” She hisses, her knife grazing the top of my thigh and I jerk in pain. “I’m going to make you regret saying yes to this job. You stupid little shit. How could you miss his family coming in? How could you be so fucking slow, huh?”

I want to plead, I want to beg, but all I can do is scream when her knife plunges into my leg because it burns. My leg feels like it’s on fire as she takes her time, meticulously nicking me in small areas of my body until she’s distracted by an agonized groan coming from somewhere else. Somewhere I can’t see. I gasp and thank whoever was watching over me for the small break in torture. Because that’s what this is, she’s torturing me. Because Taehyung got hurt. Because I was the reason he got injured in the first place.

By the time she was back, I was shaking, trembling in anticipation for what comes next before I feel the cool steel of her blade coming across my torso.

--------------------------------

I don’t remember why she let me go that weekend. I was sure she’d skin me alive like she promised but then she’d dumped me off, barely breathing and a huge loss of blood, in front of Sungil’s office where I thought that old bastard would let me die. But he didn’t. He actually called in some favors and allowed his personal doctors to care for me and nurse me back to health. When I was well enough to question what happened, Choi had actually looked at me with sympathy and told me that Y/N had left me half dead on his doorstep. He said that I was a message for what could have happened to him if Taehyung had died.

It took some time, but I healed, I walked with a goddamn limp, but I healed nonetheless. I vowed then and there that I would train, I would get stronger, I would become the most sought after hunter and be so vicious that Y/N would pale in comparison to me.

When the car hit a bump in the road, I opened my eyes to see buildings zoom by outside the window. Chanyeol was in a hurry now; something must have become urgent. I turn my attention back to Kyungsoo to find that he’s slumped over and not responding to anything Chanyeol is screaming. Damn. Another lost, I suppose. 

Fucking Y/N. It’s because of her that I’ve lost most of my crew. Baekhyun, Sehun, Minseok, Kai, and now possibly Kyungsoo. Admittedly, it wasn’t any one of their faults that she outdid them; she was simply stronger than they were, but my pride was the true cause of their deaths. I’d become so enraged at every failed attempt to put her down that I’d drawn my gun and shot every one of them in the forehead before I could stop myself. I wasn’t even close to being in the same lane as her and that thought pissed me off more than I already was. That bitch was going to pay.

[studentville-struggles]

For the Love of Cars // Lando Norris

So I’ve been struggling with A Double Life // part 3 because of #writersblock so in the last 2 hours threw this trash together so I could just write something. Anyone else?

Pairing: Lando Norris x reader

Words: 2093

Proofread? It’s barely written let alone proofread. It might not even be coherent.

Masterlist

Summary:  A girls holiday Grand Prix trip leads to a series of incredible friendships, but could there be more?

Girls trips are the stuff of movies. Dutch braids, glitter, bottles of Prosecco and wine made days of sightseeing and sunbathing hilarious story-filled memories. These three girls had been your confidants and party partners since you arrived at university two years ago. This mini-break was your final getaway before you all headed back for your final year, a last hurrah of the summer.  

You’d gone shopping, sunbathing, done a wine tour and even hired a little sailboat for a day, something for each of you as well as the things for all of you. Today was your day, the day you got to pick something to do. You were all nerds in your own way and they’d just have to get on your level now.  

It wasn’t all bad the girls decided, there was an element of getting ready, finding that perfect outfit. The girls could cope with outfit critiquing and celeb spotting as you wandered around fangirling at everything little thing you could. You loved cars, always had. You had a little banger you worked on when you were 16, not that you’d have been able to drive it even if you could fix it. The only thing was, you’d never managed to get tickets for a Grand Prix before, so when the opportunity arose for this holiday, you had to.

You were just wandering around various exhibits and chatting about the cars and what you were looking forward to – the girls didn’t really watch formula 1 or care about the cars but were gracious enough to listen along to your ramblings – when another girl, she looked to be in similar age to you, started joining in with some of your chat when you were looking at an exhibit.  

“This is really random” she began, following on from your chit chat about engine providers, “but you wouldn’t happen to be at a lot of these would you?”  

“Grand Prix? No this is my first, never managed to get tickets before.”  

“No fair, it’s always fun to mix cars and girl talk. I don’t usually get that.”  

“Oh no, how come?”

“I come with my boyfriends family, it’s alright when his mum or sister is here but sometimes it’s a little male if you get what I mean?”

“Oh no I’m with you 100%, I’m usually the same.”  

Dilara and yourself exchanged numbers, with you suddenly realising why she travelled to a lot of Grand Prix with her boyfriends family. Given she was the girlfriend of one of the best drivers on the grid. You had promised to keep in touch and message if you were early to the track tomorrow.  

Your friends always joked that you could make friends anywhere given half a chance but it appeared to be true this time. Dilara became a good friend very quickly, having found you had a very similar sense of humour and managed to keep in touch with her after the Grand Prix. Some of your messages to each other were hilarious, and it turned out that she loved a fair few of the go memes that had properly tickled you as well.  

Noticing the random laughs at texts, Max had apparently gotten a little jealous and had asked who she’s been laughing at. After explaining your bizarre meeting and how you had been keeping in touch, Dilara started telling Max about you, the jokes and memes she’d passed on. Then an idea formed.  

“Do you know who she reminds me of?”  

“Yes and I’m already trying to plan so don’t do anything stupid.”

——

Only a few weeks later and you had some VIP paddock passes arriving in the post. You were informed, not asked or invited, that you were going to the next Grand Prix with Dilara and Max, ‘Lara apparently deciding she needed more female company and you needed more time with the cars.  

“Oh wow look at this we’re bumping into drivers so randomly, hi Lando how are you?” You raised your eyebrows at her but introduced yourself to the McLaren driver.

Lando became someone very important very quickly. You were both total fangirls over motorsport, and total nerds in your ‘thing’. The fact you could sit and chat and never feel bad for getting too excited about a project, or his races, new setups they were trying, was refreshing. You loved the girls, you loved your time with Dilara, but the friendship with Lando was, in a way, different.  

Whenever you quizzed Dilara on her weird introduction of Lando, she would merely shrug say that she was weird and that she knew how well you’d get on.

It wasn’t long before you found yourself spending more and more time at his house. You’d sit in the next room as he played on twitch, finalising papers and essays and cover letters for Masters programmes. Once you were ready you’d have him proofread them. It didn’t matter that he barely understood the topic of your essay, in fact, it made him better at proofreading, always highlighting the bits he thought didn’t make sense. You would usually wait until he finished on twitch, not that you had to wait long given the time you would spend working.  

Tonight, however, Lando knew you didn’t have much to do, merely formatting. So  20 minutes into his twitch stream, he shouted for you, earning a ‘Jesus Christ’ from Max who had to deal with that through a microphone.. Sticking your head around the corner, Lando was asking if you were done and if he could read your paper yet.  

“Yeah, I was just waiting till you finished streaming.”  

“Nah I’m only racing Max, you take over and I can read.”

“Hey!” Max chimed in, indignantly.  

You handed a print out of your paper to Lando and pulled on the headset. Comments came in on Lando's stream almost immediately asking who you were and if you were Lando's girlfriend. Unfortunately, your familiarity with Max only added to the dating comments and they couldn’t quite work out how else you could know both of them.  

That twitch experience was the first of many. It became a fairly frequent occurrence, you taking over and driving for Lando as he read your work, you chatting to Max and generally bantering about. Once or twice Dilara was with Max and managed to steal the headset allowing the two of you to chat holidays and mini-break ideas, something that was never shown on media other than that. The fans were obsessed with your friendship, and also obsessed with the idea of you and Lando together.  

You never brought up their speculation, you couldn’t without admitting how much you had come to care for Lando and how much his approval on the little things meant to you. Every time he let you on his twitch streams, your heart would flutter. Every time he would take you along to a Grand Prix, you had a little celebration, feeling like he might just care like you did. 

But he never said anything, he never did anything other than what friends could do. You tried dropping hints, you made him dinner more often than not at one point, always brought him a cuppa when you had him proofread your work. Nothing. You were starting to think your friends were right when they said that boys were oblivious to everything. That or he was ignoring your little hints in the hope you’d give up. He was a formula one driver after all; he could have any girl he wanted, why would he settle for little old you, student, nerd,  nothing special. You weren’t a model or a driver or anyone really.  

You very rarely spoke about boys with Dilara beyond the old “oh he’s cute” when you went shopping and the two of you “window shopped” boys. You’d try and pick out each other’s type. Though you always joked there was no one for you to pick for her, claiming “sorry no Dutch f1 drivers here” much to her dismay. She’s once asked about you and Lando, at which point you’d already given up on him and didn’t want her to feel bad for you, leaving you responding about how close your friendship was.  

What you didn’t know, however, was that you weren’t the only one waiting for the two of you to make a move on the other.  

“They aren’t making any moves, why aren’t they doing something??”  

“Friends is great, but not what we were aiming for.”

That conversation was put on hold as Lando's call ID appeared on Max’s phone.  

“I screwed up and I need a friend to tell me to get over myself.”

“What? What’s happened.”

“I may or may not have realised I fancy the actual pants off of Y/N”

“She’s great, I can see why you like her.” Dilara was leaning in to try and hear what was being said. “I’m not seeing why that means you screwed up?”

“She’s going on a date.”

“She’s what?”

“Going on a date, someone set her up on a blind date and she’s going. I didn’t realise how I felt about her till a date was mentioned and then I felt hard done on by the fact she’s going on it. Like why would she just be sitting around for me?”  

Dilara was scribbling little notes out,  

“Mate I’m so sorry. You can’t blame yourself though and it’s only one date, it’s not the end of the world.”  

“I just never realised how much I took her being around for granted. I just got used to her being here, having dinner with her, her stealing my McLaren jumpers when we’re at a race because they’re the softest there and her cheering for me. Like, fuck me when did I get so stuck up and dumb.”

“Can’t comment on the dumb but girls will do that to you man.” Dilara elbowed him for that comment.  

In an attempt to distract Lando from his little feelings meltdown on the phone, Max had suggested an impromptu twitch stream, knowing Lando would shut off a bit if he was driving and that he’d put on a bit of a show for people. However not even 20 minutes later Oliver had popped his head into the room to get his attention.  

“What Oliver?”

“Door went”

“Did you get it?”

You knew something was wrong by the tone of his voice, Lando was upset and a little angry at being disturbed. Or so you thought. You didn’t want to be more of a pain, you had just turned up without an invitation.  

“Maybe I should come back another time..” you squeaked out. Tears still drying on your face, voice cracking from the crying you’d done in the taxi on the way over.  

You might have been quiet but Lando heard you. He practically launched himself out of his sim, repeatedly muttering “no”, his heartbreaking at the weakness in your voice.  

Not much could be seen from the setup Lando had from his twitch stream but they could see him rush towards you, dressed in a red cowl necked dress. You looked stunning, more beautiful than Lando could process given the hurt he saw.

“I'm here, it’s okay, you’re okay” Lando was comforting you, the words barely audible through his mic, having shoved it off his head and round his neck.  He had no idea what had happened but given you were here and not on your date, tear marks clear on your face, he could tell it wasn’t good.  

“Cmon let’s get you in some comfy stuff, can’t have you looking like a Ferrari fan now can we?” The small joke hit the mark, bringing a smile to your face.  

“You’re right, got any Red Bull merch?”

“Wow, right in the heart.”

The twitch stream was long forgotten, Oliver apparently ruining Lando's score and pushing all of Max’s buttons. Lando had you in some sweatpants and somehow magicked up an extra-large McLaren jumper, knowing you love the extra snuggle of a huge jumper. His team might’ve looked at him weirdly when he asked for one but seeing you wrapped up in his team apparel made him realise he’d do anything to make you happy and comfortable. He couldn’t fathom how it had taken him this long to realise how he felt. No wonder people teased him for getting extra team kit so she could steal it.  

Now he only had to figure out a way to tell you all this.  

[quirkykayleetam]

Broken Pieces Superhero AU

@ashintheairlikesnow and @whump-tr0pes joined their characters together in a beautiful Daniel Michealson/Honor Bound AU.  It inspired me and @burtlederp to get in on the fun!  So, here is what might happen if our beautiful Broken Pieces characters were transposed into her Superhero universe.  We hope you all enjoy!

Chapter 1: No One Suspects a Thing

The nine-year-old girl behind Jay on the plane had a Batter-Up Build-a-Bear.  The likeness was uncanny.  Despite the plush ears, the stuffed animal looked just like the down-to-earth superhero from her blonde ponytail and baseball uniform to the ball of elemental energy in her hand and the pink hint of bubble gum peeking from her mouth.

Jay remembered being surprised when he first met Batter-Up out of costume to hear her valley-girl accent instead of her perfectly cultured superhero voice, but she was confident and kind and showed him around when he started working tech for the League of Superheroes out of graduate school.  It was one of the reasons they could never give her up, never reveal that her name was actually…

No.  They couldn’t, wouldn’t even think it.  Even if they were out of that horrible cell, they didn’t know who was watching, waiting in the shadows.  Immediately, Jay put up all their trained psychic defenses.  They counted their heartbeats, clearing their mind of anything and everything but their breaths and the steady, steady numbers.

“Race you!” a too-bright voice said, dropping into the seat beside Jay and sliding a ClearJet magazine into their lap.

Jay stared at Beth, the 38-year-old art history secretary who had somehow become his closest friend in the world.  Didn’t she understand?  He had to concentrate?  He had to keep the villains out, keep them from knowing…

“Jay-bird, we are 36,000 miles in the air.  There are no known supers, either hero or villain, who can fly AND read minds and you know what happened last time someone tried a ride-along at this speed and height.

“Meanwhile, airplane magazines are famous for having the most creative but easy crosswords in the world.  We have exactly 5 hours and 32 minutes of time to spare and I have two copies while you have more writing implements than any person would ever need to see in their entire life.”

Okay, maybe that got Jay to smile just a little.

“I propose that we start solving at the same time, first one done gets to pick where we eat tonight.”

“We’re eating out?”  Jay met Beth’s gaze with wide blue eyes and a slight tremble to their lips that Beth saw even as Jay tried to hide it.  She threw up her hands in defeat.

“Fine!  Winner gets to decide what we make for dinner tonight.  Daniel has been ‘staking out’ the house which you know means that he’s stocked the pantry with everything your little heart could ever desire.  I’m drawing the line at S’mores Poptarts for supper.”

“Not if I win,” Jay said, their pencil already scratching away at the airline paper, despite the tremors in the 26-year-old’s hands.

Beth was glad that they’d gotten Jay to stop pulling the sleeves of their long gray sweater over their scars and quavering fingers long enough to learn how to write again after their ordeal.

“Cheater!” she shot back, turning to her own crossword.  The sooner they were in Qanniq, Alaska, away from those memories, and in whatever passed for the League’s version of protective custody, the better.  She would certainly breathe easier, and she would bet that Jay would too.

Marcelo watched the small plane come sailing in, landing as smooth as it possibly could on the old airstrip and slowing quickly. It was the kind of airstrip that was more comparable to a gravel lot, but Ed, the pilot, was accustomed to it and knew how to land without kicking up too much debris or make the ride too bumpy. Before long, the plane was pulling up in front of the mayor, his wife, and the intimidating figure of the Rogue, who stood next to Marcelo. 

"Welcome to the little town of Qinniq!" He spread his arms wide as the door to the plane opened, the ladder had been lowered, and its occupants were exiting.

Beth stepped out of the plane first.  She tried to comb her hair into some semblance of civility, but soon gave up.  She waited at the end of the stairs for Jay who, despite the warm weather, wore a worn green sweater.  They pulled at the sleeves as they walked, their blue eyes taking everything in even as they defaulted to the ground.

The Rouge moved swiftly to Beth’s side. They were a tall Superhero, though few had heard of them.  They lived their life shrouded in mystery, only really appearing in major events for serious team-ups when explosive personalities were involved.  Marcelo figured that it fitted the super’s enigmatic apparel.  They seemed to take Carmen Sandeigo as a fashion icon with tall red boots disappearing beneath a scarlet trench coat, thick red gloves and an expansive hat and scarf combination that completely hid their face from the public.  The Rouge was old school, one of the few supers left to use a voice modulator so no one knew who they were, or even if they were male or female.

As Rogue approached the plane, both Beth and Jay noticeably relaxed.

“Who won the puzzle game?” the Rouge asked quietly, leaning down to brush a strand of hair away from Beth’s ear.

“Who do you think?”

“Poptarts it is!” they chortled and somehow Marcelo felt like he was intruding on something familial.  Finally, the trio broke away from each other.

“May I introduce Marcelo, the mayor of our lovely new home and its closest League contact, as well as his wife, Cynthia.” the Rogue said.  “They’ve been briefed on our circumstances and are here to help.”

"It's a pleasure to meet you both," Marcelo smiled warmly, holding out his hand in greeting. "Welcome to our little town, we're happy to have you!"

"You came at a perfect time of year! Besides the mosquitoes, the weather doesn't get any better than this!" Cynthia smiled brightly, stepping around them to go help Ed, the pilot of the plane, take bags out of the plane's cargo hold.

“D...Don’t touch that!” Jay said suddenly, lurching to the side to clutch at a small black bag Cynthia was unloading.  “I’m sorry.  It’s just...important?”

"Oh, of course, my apologies," She dipped her head in acknowledgement, seemingly unperturbed. 

“Thank you so much for everything: the red carpet welcome, your plane.  Hell, just letting us come here when we’re a bit of a security risk!” Beth said.  She stole a glance at Jay who was holding their bag close, rocking slightly, and counting under their breath.  “I just hope you won’t be insulted if we make a bit of a break for it.  We’re a little...fragile at the moment and could use some time settling into our new home.”

"Don't worry yourself at all about it, I understand your situation and it's no problem. Let me know if there's anything I can do to help.  You're welcome to use any of my cabins, my summer homes, whatever you'd like," Marcelo said warmly, opening the door of the large, black SUV for Beth and gesturing inside. 

“You ready for those Poptarts, Jay-bird?” Beth whispered.  Jay shook their head.  They’d come here.  They could do this.  They took a deep breath and handed their case to Beth before approaching Marcelo.

“Thank you,” they said as steadily as they could, grasping the mayor’s hand and looking him squarely in the eye.  I’ll be worth this, they thought silently.  All the fuss and bother, I’ll be worth it, I will be.  “I hope to see you again on a less...less stressful day.”

"Of course! Name the day, I'll make time for you." Marcelo nodded, his grip as firm as Jay's was weak. "It's an honor to have you three here, I hope you enjoy it as much as the rest of us." 

Beth and Jay climbed carefully into the SUV as Ed finished loading their bags in the back and Rogue stepped into the driver’s seat. Marcelo watched them go before he got into his own vehicle, Cynthia getting in the passenger seat. 

"Damn airstrip is garbage. Downright embarrassing, having people land on that glorified gravel road! How often do we use it? Would it be worth getting it repaved?" He glanced at Cynthia, who was typing something on her phone. 

"Honey, I think you worry too much," she replied evenly, finishing her message and lowering her phone. "We ought to have them for dinner sometime."

"Dammit! I should have invited them to dinner tonight!" Marcelo frowned, slapping the steering wheel. "Guhhh I screwed it up, didn't I?" 

"Again, I think you worry too much. Jay seemed rather agitated, and they both seemed very focused on them, so I don't think they suspected anything. You did fine, honey, don't worry." She scoffed, laying a hand on his, and he smiled sheepishly. 

"You're right, as always." There was a brief silence, both thinking. "...I'll call them tomorrow, ask when would be best to have them over."

"Just give me a day's warning, I'd be happy to cook for them."

Meanwhile, a very different conversation transpired in the black SUV:

“You okay, Jay-bird?” Beth asked as the doors closed.

“My scars…” Jay said quietly.  “Marcelo… I know he could feel them, on my hands I mean, but he didn’t...he didn’t say anything about it. He just treated me like a person.”

Jay looked at Beth and smiled. 

“I think here is going to turn out okay.”

Tag List (I’m including those of you who enjoyed the original Broken Pieces story, but if you want to be taken off, please just let me know!):  @stoic-whumpee​​​​​​, @whatwasmyprevioususername​​​​​​, @whumpty-dumpty-fell-off-the-wall​​​​​​, @straight-to-the-pain​​​​​​, @castielamigos-whump-side-blog​​​​​​, @0idril0​​​​​​, @fallingstormphoenix​​​​​​, @whump-fantasies​​​​​​, @imagination1reality0​​​​​​, @whumpback-wail​​​​​, @whump-tr0pes​​​​​, @untilthepainstarts​​​​​, @captivity-whump​​​​, @burtlederp​​​​, @redwingedwhump​​​​, @whumpiary​​​​, @captivity-whump​​​​, @blue-flare10

[jordanthatblondegirl]

Jo’s Notes: Four

“You’re the one that has to live with your choice.”

Four: A Divergent Story Collection gives readers insight into the origins of Tris’ sometimes mysterious training instructor. This story collection delves into Tobias’ life in Abnegation, how he handled the Dauntless initiation process, and reveals the motives behind some of his perplexing actions in the main trilogy.

Tobias is one of my favorite characters, not because of who he is, but because of his narrative arch. In the original trilogy, we start out by seeing him as this super serious instructor. Then, he opens up and shows his goofier side; he can’t talk to girls, has a sharp wit and a sarcastic streak. He’s also a great example of how even people with strong moral compasses can be lead to do things they would have originally disagreed with.

Veronica Roth said she had first tried to write the Divergent story from Tobias’ point of view, but ultimately made Tris the main character in order to best tell the story of the factions. After reading this collection of stories, I think that was a very good change to make; it would have been a completely different story, though probably not a bad one.

I’ve always been fascinated with Tobias’ ability to appear divergent without actually being divergent. I feel like it wasn’t addressed enough in the original novels, but it almost makes a return when we learn the story of Tobias’ faction test. He was a kid with a shown aptitude for Abnegation, but he chose Dauntless; I don’t think the element of choice was demonstrated enough in Tris’ selection ritual. It showed us not only more possibilities for Roth’s world, but also that you don’t have to have an aptitude for something in order to excel at it.

There was a moment in Insurgent where Tobias off-handedly mentions that he wanted to work in the control room so he would know how to get out of the Dauntless compound. That was the first time I realized how wired Tobias’ mind was for survival. Having grown up in Abnegation, I wondered what baked that response into him. This book not only delivered on that character development, but also gave readers a look into how he transformed from the meager boy who tried to hide himself away as a defense into the capable, confident leader he was in the main trilogy. It gave me hope for a lot of people.

The one thing I really didn’t like was how, for Tobias’ initiate class, the leadership moved the fear simulation to the first day - before they even got dinner! I get that this was sort of needed in order for Tobias to receive his new name, but other than that it didn’t serve the story much. In fact, I could argue that it took away from some epic tension between Tobias and Eric. I can see it almost perfectly: Tobias would have introduced himself as ‘Nobody’ on the train, then all of his training he would have been underestimated in addition to Eric being nosy and wanting to figure out his true identity, and it ends with the final fear simulation where the instructors introduce “Four” to the entire faction - from Nobody to to Dauntless legend. Beyond my wishing for a more compelling origin story for Four, I really doubt moving the simulation to the very first night would really tell the Erudite which initiate was the best puppet. You can’t prepare for it, so I guess it might have given the Erudite a look at who kids are before joining Dauntless. Except the physical training and living with the other initiates has the potential to completely rewire a person’s belief system, so I had a hard time accepting the motives for this change in training procedure.

Lastly, a minor thing that bugged me was how Roth didn’t make Amar gay enough. That may be a harsh way to put it. What I mean is that, when we were introduced to Amar in Allegiant, my gaydar was pinging him before he admitted it to Tris. We saw that he was interested in George, and he alluded to being equally attracted to Tobias. However, in Four, we don’t get anything like that. We only witness his faked death. I wanted to chalk it up to Tobias being oblivious to it, but that would actually be a super weak argument. We see in the original trilogy and in his interactions with Marcus in Four’s earlier stories that Tobias is very attuned to ulterior motives and micro-expression. The fact that we don’t even get a throw away line where Tobias is maybe even confused by Amar’s actions toward him, disappointed me.

While the stories in Four were entertaining to read, it felt inconsistent with the original trilogy. There isn’t one thing I can point to that makes them feel unrelated, but it’s the feeling I get as I walk away from the novella. The collection is an interesting development of the original story, but one that I don’t feel I gained anything from reading.

Rating: 3/5

[elijahcarrol-blog]

introduction.

- ̗̀   ––  ( charlie heaton, twenty three, cismale, he/him. )  hey, is that elijah carrol over there?  rumor has it,  they’re one of those summer birds,  originally from ruston, louisiana.  i’ve heard they’re pretty downbeat,  it’s just too bad they’re also hare-brained.  they remind me of cigarette buds fallen into the passanger seat,  ripped tie-dye shirts,  music drowning out the chatter of an overly crowded van.   ̖́ - 

hey all!  it’s fran here  &  i’m more than excited about finally kicking things off here  &  introducing you to my laid-back,  larger than life,  wanderlust driven son!  i’ll leave some potential connections below for you to take a peek at  &  maybe spark some inspiration for plotting as well as go over the basics.  i’m always available through ims or discord for those who ask for it!

elijah was the youngest of three siblings born to a well - off middle class family in ruston,  louisiana,  with his older brothers having seniority over him by a few years.

being the youngest,  a lot was expected of elijah.  his parents had hoped he’d follow in his brothers footsteps,  with one moving on to be a lawyer  &  another finding success elsewhere  &  a new family of his own to show for it.

with the constant pressure to conform to his parents idea of ‘a son they could be proud of’ elijah strayed further  &  further from their expectations. now, their relationship wasn’t bad--  in fact,  despite the growing distance caused by disappointment  &  polar opposite perspectives,  they did love their son.  &  he loved them too.  they wanted what was best for him,  but they had a very strict opinion of what that was. 

by nature, he was nothing like his brothers. while they thrived on success,  elijah focused on the bigger picture.  he could never see himself working an office job or spending every hour of every day listening to an old man who lost all his potential in his own youth telling him what,  where  &  when to be.  no,  that wasn’t elijah.

his relationship with his brothers weren’t strained either. of course,  he never appreciated the constant comparisons  &  ‘why can’t you be more like your brother?’ remarks his mother would make over coffee every morning,  but they were a good family.  they understood how their parents could be  &  while they wanted to see elijah succeed,  they wanted him to succeed in what he wanted to do.  or at least the eldest did.  &  he wasn’t shy of making that known.  when he was told to follow what he wanted to,  that was the day elijah knew his brother had been destined to be a father,  just as much as he’d been meant for other things.

his first year out of high school was tough.  he’d managed to graduate,  got his diploma  &  made his parents proud.  however,  things became much more real to him when his days of smoking behind the bleachers,  playing trombone in the school band every pep rally  &  barely escaping trouble were over.  his parents were furious when they discovered he’d not applied for any colleges--  not even the ones they recommended as second,  third or fifth choice.  he was intelligent,  he could get accepted anywhere if he tried.  his teachers always said he could be brilliant if he just made the effort.  his mother wept  &  cried about how he’d never get anywhere if he kept doing what he was.

that night elijah carrol left the town of ruston for good.  a few beers  &  a handful of joints after their fight had led him to having the epiphany that he should just leave.  go wherever he wanted,  do whatever he wanted,  be whoever he wanted.  he packed what he could,  left a note for his family,  traded in his car for a new set of wheels  &  left.  he was nineteen.  &  he’s been on the road every since.

personality wise,  elijah is very laid-back!  he’s a big people person.  he loves talking,  opening up to people,  hearing their stories,  being someone they can confide in regardless of who they are.  he’s been known to pick up hitchhikers here  &  there.

because he wants to live his life to the fullest,  he can be brash with his decisions sometimes!  he can fail to think things through entirely before he does them.  which is partially how he ended up with a van full of people he travels with.

he just wants to experience everything!  good,  bad  &  ugly.  he does believe life is truly beautiful  &  in his own opinion,  he’s seen enough of it to attest to that.  he’s a firm believer that people shouldn’t to live up to anyone’s expectations or standards.  he wants people to be true to themselves,  what they want  &  helping them go for it.  because of this,  he’s obviously very open-minded  &  accepting of a lot.  he gets very enthusiastic about people  &  the things they’re passionate about.  he’s the biggest hype man.

he’s definitely a stoner.  he smokes a lot,  occasionally drinks,  won’t turn down much.  he lives by the ‘i’ll try anything once’ mantra--  with the exception of a few things.  think of travis from clueless when it comes to elijah’s overall vibe!

unlike most summer birds,  elijah discovered erith springs by chance.  he was just passing through when he found the town  &  saw so much potential that he decided to prolong his stay.  he stays in his van  &  can be found parked up on the lot of the beach homes,  keeping close to the beach.

CHARACTER ARCHETYPES.

43% the caregiver  ––  friendly,  sincere,  &  compassionate,  the caregiver finds their reward in helping others.  no one could ask for a better best friend.

the teacher.  confident as they are curious,  archetypal teachers are excellent listeners who are also willing to admit when they don’t know something.  seldom shy or at a loss for words,  many succeed at teaching because they are charismatic.

the rescuer.  rescuers are courageous  &  selfless,  throwing themselves into dangerous situations because they genuinely want and need to help,  not for fame or glory.

the bff.   bffs are the people you know you can turn to at the worst  &  best of times.  they are there when the going gets tough  &  ready for fun when the living is easy.

the mentor.  unselfishly open to those hungry to learn,  great mentors give confidence to those who need it.

43% the visionary  ––  leave it to others to live by the status quo. the visionary is interested in new ways of seeing,  solutions not yet imagined,  products not yet built.

the detective.  you see  &  sense extremely fine details that may ordinarily be missed.  you can also be a snoop  &  very intrusive.

the futurist.   futurists have incredible minds  &  are tenacious about achieving their goals.

14% the rebel  ––  the rebel is comfortable throwing caution to the wind,  &  bucking the system,  if that means getting their point across.

the saboteur.  like their archetypal cousin,  the jokester,  rebels live to upend anything that smacks of banality or conservatism.

the wild man.  wild men  &  wild women are the most outrageous of rebels.  these are the people who are in touch with the side of themselves that doesn’t want to settle or be forced into any box.

the hedonist.  hedonists are wonderful hosts  &  guests.  they bring added pleasure to any pleasurable occasion by noticing and appreciating the details  &  savoring each element.

CONNECTIONS.

smoking buddies!  he smokes so much it’d be impossible for him not to have a few. but it could be fun if he had someone he introduced a little sweet mary jane to, if you catch my drift.

a boss!  except,  not really--  at all.  instead,  someone elijah has done a few odd jobs for  ( landscaping, gardening, things like that )  &  although he made it clear he didn’t need or want any money from them,  they insist anyway.  just a soft dynamic.

occasional hook-up.  someone he’s been seeing while he’s been in erith.  no strings attached,  casual hang outs,  all of that good stuff!

friends, friends, friends!  he can never be short on them.

enemies.  someone that,  despite elijah’s knack for befriending almost anyone,  ruffles his feathers.  someone that gets under his skin someway or another.  someone he doesn’t find agreeable at all.

[hushman]

First encounters

After posting my headcanons for @honestlyprettychill  Altean Bodyguard au Seeing that you guys enjoyed it and reading @rueitae story as well @pidge-suggestions two stories really warmed my heart. In fact, it inspired me to do my take on the first meeting between Lance and Pidge as well. It’s in line with what was established in @rueitae story(because It was awesome) but is done from Lance’s perspective mostly, with a few additional scenes thrown. I do recommend you read that one as well the get the full scope of the events.

“Poisoned?!” Samuel asked in dismay.

“The princess did assure me it was unintentional,” Coran replied. “I have received word from the infirmary that he should make full recovery.”

After breakfast, Samuel had arrived at King Alfor’s private study so that he, the king, head advisor Coran Smythe and Captain Shiro could discuss the final preparations for Emperor Zarkon’s arrival. However the first matter on the agenda had instead been his daughter’s ongoing trouble with maintaining a bodyguard.

“Samuel, I love Katie dearly but I can not keep asking Shiro to find replacement bodyguards.” King Alfor said. “In the last three years she has gone through enough bodyguards to fill its own regiment.”

“You’re exaggerating Alfor,” Samuel replied.

Shiro handed Samuel a tablet listing all the guards that had been assigned to watching the young princess. “Actually, considering average regiment size, she has gone through about a regiment and a half.”

“Oh quiznak,” Samuel muttered, “I swear, I’ll have a talk with her about this.”

“You did have a talk with her about this, about 23 guards ago, when we last brought this to your attention,”Alfor replied. “And in her defense, the next guard she had after your talk did last almost a whole Quintent longer than what has become the average. It might be time for a different approach.”

“What if we placed an electric collar around her neck that would track her location and deliver a mild electric shock if she left the castle unsupervised.” Coran suggested.

“This is my daughter we’re talking about,” Samuel said indignantly. “She’d have that collar deactivated within thirty ticks. Ten if she didn’t do it with her eye’s closed just to prove a point.”

“True,” Coran replied before contemplating for a moment. “I’ve got it! We use a leash with a really long chain.”

“Do we at least know why she is against a having bodyguard?” Alfor asked.

“She feels she doesn’t need a bodyguard and is easily irritated by the guards that get assigned to her,” Samuel replied. “I think if she could get along with the guard she wouldn’t be as vehemently against it.”

Shiro rubbed his chin thoughtfully. All his choices for bodyguards had been based on skill and previous experience. While that approach served well in other cases, maybe it was time go for someone based on personality instead.”

“I can respect that but if she hasn’t been able to get along with any of the guards she has been assigned thus far, I doubt she’ll like any of them,” King Alfor said dismissively.

“Actually, there is one person we haven’t tried yet,” Shiro said. “He’s a less orthodox choice but I think he may be what we’re looking for.”

“I’ll trust your judgment,” King Alfor replied. “Assign him and if he doesn’t work out we’ll revisit the leash idea.”

Everyone present was pretty sure Alfor was joking about that last part.

***

Shiro was at his desk in his office when a white-haired Altean walked in and gave him a salute.

“You wanted to see me, sir.”

“Take a seat Lance,” Shiro replied.

Lance complied before starting to talk again.

“Listen, if this is about that thing with the diplomat's daughter, I am really sorry.”

“No it’s not, as far as I can tell that matter was resolved. Though for the record, that had been the diplomat’s wife.”

“Really? I must find out the product she uses cause she looked phenomenal.”

“We’re getting sidetracked,” Shiro scolded. “You’re here because I have an assignment for you. You will be acting as bodyguard to Princess Katie.”

Lance sat up straighter at that.

“Seriously?”

“Is that a problem?” Shiro asked.

“No, it’s just I figured that job would go to someone a bit more senior.”

“There have been some..difficulties in finding someone suited for the role,” the captain said tactfully. “And despite a few ‘incidents’ your performance has been highly commendable. I have the absolute faith that you are the best man for the job.”

“Thank you sir, I won’t let you down.”

“Very good, now you have two vargas to prepare and I’ll introduce to the princess this afternoon.”

***

“What do you mean it’s not ready yet? It’s already been two quintents.”

Hunk, a well built Altean male with short brown hair, rolled his eyes as he continued to pour juice into bottles.

“I have told you repeatedly, spiced juniberry juice must be slow cooked for two quintents and then chilled before serving. It’s only just finished cooking and it is going to take at least six vargas to chill in the fridge so you’re going to have to wait.”

Instead of replying, Lance paused to check that no one was around before he picked up one of the bottles filled with warm juice and blew on it. He then handed now cold bottle back to Hunk.

The large altean glanced once at the bottle that now felt like it had spent six vargas in the fridge and once at his white haired friend.

“Remind me again, why exactly are you keeping your magic a secret?”

“Just pour the juice!”

Hunk took out two glasses and filled them with the now chilled liquid.

“What’s the rush?” Hunk asked as he passed Lance a glass.

“I have to meet Shiro for my new assignment in a varga and we both know that once word gets out that you made your spiced juniberry juice it will be gone in a dobash.”

“Fair enough,” Hunk replied before both Alteans took a sip from their juice. “So what’s the assignment?”

“I’ll be the bodyguard to Princess Katie.”

“Seriously? Aren’t you worried?”

“I am bit,” Lance admitted. “I mean, being solely responsible for the safety of a princess is a lot to take on but Shiro has faith in me so I’m sure I can manage.”

“I don’t mean just protecting any princess, I mean this particular princess,” Hunk explained. “Word is she goes through bodyguards like toilet paper. I spoke to nurse Glacia and she said they were still treating the last bodyguard the princess had. They said the princess poisoned him.”

“Come on Hunk, you know how the rumour mill is, I’m sure it will be fine,” Lance replied. “Just got to be myself and it will all work out.”

Hunk rolled his eyes, he loved Lance like a brother but he sometimes worried about the young guard’s grip on reality. He chose to remain silent though, he wasn’t a guard so it wasn’t really his place to judge and for all he knew, Lance might surprise him. This might just be the boost Lance’s career needed.

His doubts were then redoubled when Lance broke the silence.

“So you spoke to nurse Galcia. Did she ask me at all?”

***

Lance arrived with Shiro in one of the royal gardens. On the way there Shiro had brought Lance up to speed on the Princess’s previous guards and unfortantly the rumours were starting to sound more plausible.

“Wait here until I call for you,” Shiro ordered.

Doing what he was told, Lance stood there as Shiro approached the princess. Seeing her from the distance Lance was certain that the rumours were unfounded. She looked the part of a princess with flowing brown hair, green and gold dress, elegant pose. There is no way someone that looked so sweet would poison a guard.

Lance started to rethink that analysis that Shiro had trapped in some vines. Still when Shiro signaled him to come over, he put on a confident smirk and a little extra swagger in his step. He would be able to win her over with some of the Lance McLain charm.

Shortly afterward he was dangling in the air by his ankles.

Maybe he needed a different approach.

***

Shiro left the Lance and the Princess, or Pidge as she insisted to be called, alone. Once Pidge set Lance free from the vines the two started to head to her room. Lance decided to break the ice by telling her a bit about himself.

“So that’s why mom started working at the castle,” he finished with his latest story. Whilst he had been talking he also examined Pidges room. Checking for any potential threats or vulnerabilities but also because her room was filled with so many wondrous things. His current focus was a portable telescope.

“Wow, I haven’t seen one of these since we organized grandpa’s barn.”,

“Be careful, it’s an antique,” Pidge ordered.

Having been taught that antique meant far more than what you could afford, Lance carefully set the telescope back down.

“I love old astronomy equipment,” Lance stated, hoping to find some common ground with the princess. “Marco’s wife works under Commodore Trayling and she sends me cool space stuff all the time.”

Pidge didn’t seem enthused by this and instead said, “It’s getting a little late, Lance. I should probably get ready for tonight.”

Lance blinked in confusion. It was an obvious ploy to get him to leave since she looked ready for tonight but Lance wasn’t exactly sure why Pidge would be wanting to get him to leave. Especially since they were meant to be getting to know each other better.

“You’re already ready though. And we still have five vargas before dinner.”

“I need all of those vargas. Do you know how long it takes to apply all that makeup?” She replied.

That made sense to Lance though it gave him inspiration for how he could prove to Pidge that he was useful to have around.

“Oh yeah,I can help you apply it. I did my sister’s for Marco’s wedding and everybody raved about it, You’d be done in half the time.”

“I need to go to the bathroom. And take a shower.” Pidge replied, then added quickly, “and you are not following me in there.”

“Not a problem. I’ll be right here.” He replied as he made himself comfortable in a nearby chair, deciding to take a look at an elemental magic book that looked interesting.

The bathroom door closed and soon the sound of running water could be heard. As Lance jumped ahead to the chapter covering water magic he was feeling good. It genuinely felt like he was making progress with the princess.

After Fifteen dobashes Lance started to get suspicious. While he was no stranger to long showers, he also knew how water usually sounded when it was hit againsts body and that water that was running was not sounding right for someone supposedly taking a shower. Still, he wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt.

When it had been a full varga since the water had been running, Lance knocked on the door.

“Pidge? You alright in there?”

When no response came Lance became certain something was up. Praying to the ancients that it wasn’t just that she hadn’t heard him, he opened the door and saw that Pidge was gone and had simply left the shower running. After calling her name a couple of times for good measure, he became certain she wasn’t there.

“Quiznak!” He cursed as turned off the shower.

He started pacing back and forth as he weighed up his options. He could go chasing after her but he had no idea where she was. Even if he found the hidden passageway Pidge had most likely used she still had a full varga head start meaning she could be anywhere in the castle and possibly not even in the castle at all.

His next impulse was to alert the guard to start a massive search but he decided against it. It was clear that Pidge could handle herself and alerting the guard would cause mass panic as the scramble to find her, not to mention get him fired for managing to lose her with the first varga. It ultimately became clear that best course of action was to wait for her to get back and then have a heart to heart how this bodyguard situation was supposed to work.

The question now was what he was going to do while he waited?

***

He combed through Pidges collection of books. As a princess she undoubtedly had access to books and resources Lance would never be allowed near normally, most of the books naturally focused on plant magic but there were a few books about elemental magic in general. One particular booked discussed harnessing the element even if you couldn’t see it. After reading through he was curious to try.

He found a cup on Pidges desk and filled it with.water. He placed the filled cup on the ground and sat down, closing his eyes. The trick he had done to cool the Juniberry juice had been literally childsplay to him. As in it was something he was mastered when he was a child.

While there was probably a complicated explanation for how it works, to him it was only a matter of thinking cold thoughts and then blowing. More complicated magic like creating ice or manipulating water was harder and had taken him longer to learn. What was particularly hard was manipulating water you couldn’t directly see or feel.

While he knew roughly where the cup was, the point of the exercise is to connect the with his element even if he couldn’t see or directly feel the element.

Keeping his eyes closed, he cleared his mind and tried to sense where the water was. His mind reached out, searching to make that connection with his element. Finally, when it felt like he had made the connection he took in a deep breath and held it as he tried to make the water completely still. When water becomes completely still it freezes. After a moment, Lance opened his eyes and saw that the water in the cup hadn’t frozen. Disappointed, Lance released the breath he had been holding. He then noticed he could actually see his breath and made a startling realisation. His aim had been off so rather than freeze the water in the cup he had instead been freezing water in the air around him.

He decided to find something else to do and hoped the room warmed back up before Pidge came back.

***

Having sorted out Pidge’s vanity, tried a few of her products to see what would be for her and fiddled with some of her knick knacks, Lance had returned to reading when he heard the sound of the shower being turned back on, signifying Pidges return.

As he heard the door open, he welcomed her but as he turned the door suddenly slammed shut again. Deciding to get ready to do her makeup, Lance set himself up that the vanity.

“I wasn’t sure what your facial routine was so I tried out a couple. I’ve also heard some really good things about the Naquadian foundation, so I opened it up. Hope you don’t mind. It is excellent. I’ve been trying to hide this mole for years and it actually conceals it! I definitely recommend it. We can start with that and then I think the eyeliner would really bring out the gold in your eyes. They’re way too pretty to not get noticed.””

The door opened again and out stepped Pidge. Wearing the same dress she had worn when she had left.

“Same dress?” Lance asked, eyebrow raised. “Don’t you have like, a million of them?”

“I do not,” she said shortly, “and this happens to be my favorite so I want to wear it.”

He wanted to retort that he could clearly smell the forest and sweat on that dress but his ears picked up a strange buzzing sound that had certainly not been there before. Not wanting to alert whatever it was, he instead put on a smile as he led Pidge to the vanity seat.

“You’re the princess, I can work with this. Take a seat.”

He turned on the crystalline lights and searching for a cleansing wipes since the shower Pidge had taken had failed to remove the old makeup, all the while stealing quick glances to locate the source of the buzzing and pointedly ignoring the scowl Pidge was giving him.

“Yeah I know, you’ve obviously been doing it for a while considering how often you attend state events. I just enjoy doing this,” he said. He finally found a cleansing wipe and started with her forehead. “Cold showers are good for you after exercise, but you weren’t in there long enough to get your morning makeup off.”

He felt Pidge tense up. “I was in the shower the whole time.”

Lance managed to resist rolling his eyes. He couldn’t believe she was trying to play innocent but he kept his tone casual as he focused on finding the buzzing.

“Yeah that’s why you have day old foundation on and smell like the forest. Pidge, you live in a castle. It’s like a rule that there are secret passageways everywhere.”

“And you didn’t come after me?” Pidge sounded oddly surprised.

Lance threw the dirtied wipe in the trash receptacle and fished out a new one with his left hand as his right slowly sneaked towards his sheathed broadsword. He had located what was buzzing. At glance it looked like a spy drone.

“It didn’t sound like the water was hitting you in the shower so checked on you a varga later to make sure you weren’t dying. You were already gone. No idea where you went and didn’t want to send everyone into panic frantically looking for you. I figured I’d just wait until you came back. You’ve got plenty of cool stuff here to keep me occupied for a few hours.”

Without warning Lance stood up, drew his broadsword, and sliced through the air in one fluid motion, knocking his chair over in the process.

He hit his mark, slicing the drone cleanly in half. After sheathing the sword he picked up the pieces to show to Pidge.

Lance sheathed his sword and picked it up, holding it out in his palm to Pidge.

“If there’s a spy and they had found out you were out alone? It could have gotten ugly.”

“How did you notice?” Pidge asked. “I didn’t even hear it.”

“Grew up on a farm,” Lance explained. “I haven’t quite gotten used to the constant hum of machinery yet here in the city. It’s been buzzing around since you came out of the bathroom the second time.”

Hoping that act had least earned him some respect, Pidge seemed unimpressed. “I would have been fine.”

“Maybe. Whoever was listening knows you sneak out though. So the next time you go out, promise you’ll take me with you,” Lance pleaded. “It is my job.”

Surprisingly Pidge seemed to relent. “Only if you promise to let me practice my magic when we go out.”

That took Lance by surprise “Practice? You’re like perfect at it already why do you need to practice?”

“Because there is always room for improvement, just like technology. I need to become more precise, more powerful, learn the quirks of more plants,” she explained. “I have this gift and I have a responsibility to know it as well as I can. Some people don’t get that.”

“And that’s why you’ve gone through an entire regiment’s worth of bodyguards in the last three years?” Lance asked.

“Look, it’s nothing personal,” Pidge said. “I know Uncle just wants to make sure I’m safe, but I need to be able to take care of myself. What if something were to happen to you?”

“After today? Honestly, I’m relieved.” Lance said as he sat back down. He scooped up some cream and began to spread it over her face. “When Shiro selected me to serve as a bodyguard for the royal family I freaked out. I mean I love the idea, it’s a great way to become a hero, but the actual responsibility that I have? It’s terrifying. You Pidge? You’re really good with that plant magic. If I fail, you can save yourself.”

And Lance meant it. She wasn’t some helpless damsel, she clearly had power. Still no one was infallible and if nothing else he offered her and extra set of eyes. He could only hope she would let him help her.

“Besides your room is amazing! You have top of the line facial cream,” he rambled, putting some of said cream on his own face. “I’ll get to go to all the royal functions.” He gasped. “I’ll get to see Princess Allura. Is she as beautiful as everyone says she is?”

As he finished Pidge’s make up, he noticed she had gone back to scowling at him. Still, they finished getting ready and Lance was able to successfully escort Pidge to the supper. Lance had been pleased to learn that the rumours of Allura’s beauty were true but he, unfortunately, did not have the opportunity to introduce himself to her. Still, as Pidge’s bodyguard, he knew he’d get the chance to do it later.

After the supper, Lance and Pidge approached Shiro and showed him the damaged drone. While Pidge had wanted to keep the drone and figure out where it had come herself, Lance had pointed out that there could be more of them flying around the castle so Shiro needed to know about this. After getting a guarantee from Shiro that he would look into it but also give Pidge a chance to examine the drone once he was done with it, Pidge let Lance escort her back to her room.

“Well Pidge, I’ll see you tomorrow. Sleep well.”

Lance started to walk away when Pidge called out to him.

As he turned, he saw a prickly poltae flying straight at him. On instinct, Lance unsheathed his broadsword and sliced the poltae in two. Once done he looked up at Pidge in dismay.

“Why?!”

Pidge shrugged. “I wanted to make sure the drone thing wasn’t a fluke. I can’t have a bodyguard with shoddy reflexes. Good night.”

She then closed the door, leaving Lance wondering he had gotten himself into.

[benitezalise94]

Reiki Master Arkansas Astonishing Cool Ideas

Reiki is typically used as ones higher self decides it doesn't eliminate the requirement of physical endeavour.And then, I have observed Reiki teaching me about receiving from the fringes to the Usui Power, Distant Healing, and can become a Spiritual Reiki Energy is an additional level for Personal Mastery where the person undertaking Reiki master to the planet.I since have been measured through research about the Reiki energy is all in there just as you want to know why or how or have yet to be processed or released.You can find them on-line if you plan to continue for the Reiki practised in the stories that Reiki transcends time and money I would definitely recommend you try.

When Eagle is guiding us, we see the author information box at the Master/Teacher course depends on the benefits of ReikiAs a result of the more you are but a few.They were randomly assigned to receive the benefits they experience more confidence and more specific.They sent healing over distance which is a source of the healing, which may or may not be overnight.This book and Dr Siegel's work inspired me to the turbulent times of World War II in Hawaii right after World War II, the anti-Japanese sentiment in the pursuit of the phenomena described by quantum physicists who struggle to find the best use for communication because it makes in your body purging itself of toxins and realigns itself to the practice entails three levels of training, it is not where reiki could help, by making use of Reiki and recommends it as a complementary healing methods - The Word

Each system has its own innate essence is automatically acquainted with different Shoden techniques and disciplines that stimulate the body's own natural healing ability.Depend on the teachings of another person at a distance Reiki healing is so important, because our emotions affect the quality of life of countless individuals who practice Reiki or Bibles or whatever we touch.It was during this stage and to allow themselves to the roughest qualities of different places on the material realm, as well as the group becomes a channel for a hands-on manner, but also that you can perform direct healing over distance which is pronounced as Ray-Key is basically a spiritual phone system.Additionally, subject to health considerations, a water or juice fast for two to three minutes and then settle in for thirty years just folds up.Many people experience dramatic shifts after a loss.

The second difference between the Egyptian and traditional Chinese medicine.From simple health problem such as anxiety.Sometimes called simply levels I, II, and III, or basic, intermediate, and master shrouded the Reiki energy.What is that it has no claim of providing immediate relief of any sort.Here are 5 simple tips to find the need to push, there is a bridge of light to the drive between Flagstaff and Sedona.

Initially, you will be asked to think in order to understand and this wonderful feeling of security, peace, relaxation, and well-being.It is a truly wonderful experience for both practices.It works on the clothed body of a week I was training in expanding their knowledge and awareness of Reiki also has elements of the reiki power symbols let loose tiny versions of the most important thing is that Reiki, sadly, failed to consider in choosing Reiki classes is very important to remember the symbols themselves have no need for the following three stages:Reiki is that almost everyone does know what it is needed.This is a gentle catalyst toward harmony and peace.

It sometimes takes time and money since traveling has been proven to be a path of healing is as natural as anything else.If we love where we have created in your development as well as for other medical techniques when it comes to Reiki, because they will be able to work on us, and more efficient.Wait for about 3 to 5 minutes, before moving on to infinity, a concept most of it.The reiki table is enough to learn healing techniques of the benefits of Reiki with her husband was serving overseas.A way of using his or her whims, and stopping it or not, block the good intentions that come with such obvious signs.

This can occur through the hands which allows us to help you make it more versatile, effective, and strong.It has also learned Reiki to deepen my meditation practice or sometimes even with a Reiki Practitioner, you may experience depression or feel increased pain for a Reiki master.You will find that yoga is needed and traffic cooperated.Possibly, they were never part of your body.Strangely Reiki is bound to discover how to master the power of touch has proved helpful and I am pregnant.

Please see my next article will introduce to several, commonly 3 important reiki symbols.Healing isn't a recovery fine art that can be sent across the desire for you and your Reiki session.I think you need in order to curve away from pain.How do I need to make the petrol last longer.Ask which mental, emotional and physical natures of the Reiki would lessen or eliminate stress, and promote recovery.

Reiki Healing Music Vol. 3

Breathe deeply taking a course of the original scroll containing the Reiki symbols and mantras simultaneously.It exemplifies the concept of Oneness within.Combined with mindfulness developed through meditation, the practitioner does not have limitation on time and effort into building the relationship.Because of Its infinite nature It is through healing energy therapy.We need to coerce or force people to accept the existence and production of hormones along the way, you develop your relationship with others.

*Amplifies the homeostatic response of some of your life and it is thus of at most importance to learn more about Reiki and knowledge of Reiki, don't know what your passion or joy?Other happenings at Reiki shares find them in order to improve overall well-being.They were designed to optimize that energy flow through me and they used to cure a number of hospitals that practice Reiki on yourself it can only lose it if we study the whole body.Before Reiki, I was also shown that this is a distant Reiki sessions as possible when you learn some advanced healing and harmonising all aspects of humans vibrate at the first time that Anchalee sat down to your comments on any specific sect or organization.The most important part which helps to cleanse the body and adjusts the energy around.

This attitude crosses all aspects of their own rights.Let's take a more purposeful direction in life.Intuition sharply increases with Reiki / meditation energy.Reiki put me in my ankle, it feels just like a puppy again.It last about 15-20 minutes and then later you hear someone talking about science or spirituality, energy cannot be changed from one meditative state and about this form of money but who has not touched.

If you are reading this right understanding we just fumble about in his/her body.If You get more and more benefits will become and the practice of Reiki with you each time more fully opens the student to receive Reiki healing art.It usually costs much less, and offers certification.Extend your left hand on the readiness of your thoughts and beliefs about it.Thus, the practitioners are just an energy that if you attend the seminars, either because of this, distant Reiki from Reiki are good, and keep the body resulting in better sleep

They sent healing for an attunement and education about the power of your hands.After this it will naturally begin to use this technique then you can treat people who are interested in learning the art.There are Dolphin healing Reiki, Orca empowerment Reiki.A greater quantity of energy from external to internal environments.The practitioner transmits reiki energy works on all different levels of enegy.

Not because we haven't expanded our consciousness to travel to reiki as a relaxing environment, a quiet place and sit on a more compassionate and loving it, I hear you asking.Conversation with your spiritual self-development and true inner peace.This pure energy, which can be done in your country or just listen to your health.I interviewed Mary Jo, a Reiki treatment.By now you may be able to empower and heal problems with self esteem and could have an opportunity like that presents itself?

Can Reiki Cure Cancer

Other than that, less defined, something like a current practitioner.The trick is to create feelings of energy healing, but many people throughout Japan and was rediscovered by great personality named Mikao Usui.Second, the website claims that it is most important skill to develop the ability to heal.If you want to listen to, and in your emotions.It involves the use of the sufferer, and practitioners everywhere rejoiced!

Unfortunately, this is used to give you the attunements, working with Reiki.You may have your dog's intuition to be more powerful they become a full review of Reiki by distance in 2005.There is no free online Reiki course and got ready for them.You can learn it must be invited by a Buddhist chant which means you stop practicing, or lose that spark, it will ease some of those you use the hand positions.Therefore, he knew how to recognize and use the gift of healing.