#no comprehension whatsoever. i think i just have to accept that. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ladedanixie · 1 year

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I'm just gonna address this under the cut.

I love helluva boss. Its not a perfect show, but I deeply enjoy it and have re-watched it to death, especially when I was in bad spot. So when I critique it, its not from a place of hatred or pettiness, its more from a place of knowing how good it could be with better execution and focus. Now that I have gotten that out of the way, onto what I wanna say.

Just because someone critiques the show, or dislikes something you liked, does not mean they lack media comprehension or are just a hater. For example, Western Energy and Ozzie's being addressed in texts on Stolas' phone or people not understanding Blitz also cares about Stolas. Or even Seeing Stars, or Queen Bee not giving time to have an awkward moment or two. They say it'll be addressed eventually or its subtext.

And I'd concur. The show isn't over yet, it has 2 and 1/2 seasons more to go. But, that doesn't mean everything done so far is perfect.

First off, I understand that Blitz cares, Truth Seekers proves that, Ozzie's proves that, but if you're defending the texts in Western Energy or even the picture Blitz has on his phone of him and Stolas in Ozzie's, I'd like to counter that with not everyone is as obsessed with the show as you or me. There are casual fans, who yes, will throw their hat in the ring and critique the show, they usually don't pause or go back to read or double check the photos. That and some world-building elements, like the difference between Sinners and demons and imps, aren't explicitly addressed in the show. Sure Season 2 has somewhat addressed it, but there wasn't clarity and most causal viewers only know because other more invested viewers tell them. I know this because I'm a huge fan, and my friend who I got into the show, often asks for explanations.

People nitpick sometimes sure, like in Oops, when most people asked why didn't they just shoot Fizz (my friend was one of them), whereas I didn't think anything of it (probably mostly because I play dnd and I accepted Fizz's song as a Nat 20 on performance). Or claimed the song was too long, I loved the song and how long it was.

But nitpicks aren't bad, nor is all nitpicks made by solely casual fans. And not all critiques are nitpicks. I personally think that some bring up good points. Such as Western Energy and how Ozzie's was addressed in a series of texts between Blitz and Stolas, which if you blinked, you could have missed it. That and in order to read them, you would have to go back and go by frame by frame to read it. Pausing in-between. I am not of the belief that the texts should have been cut, but I do believe it could have been acknowledged if only a little in Seeing Stars (which I do have my opinions on, but I'll that in another post.) Because that would have been better structurally and could have set up the texts better.

Now to address another argument people make against critiques. And I will use Season 2 as my main example. Most people argue that the reason why Season 2 has gotten so much flack is due to people's built up expectations, the fanon, they created in their head. And sure that might be true. I've seen it in the reaction to Stella, which Sarcastic Chorus on youtube did a fantastic video on that that addresses the issue about that far better than I ever could. So check that out.

But I'll touch on it here anyway. Season 1 Stella was barely fleshed out. All we knew was that she was angry that Stolas cheated. Some eagle eyed views noticed her anger seemed to be mostly about him sleeping with an Imp and not the cheating, but aside from that, a picture, and a few split second scenes (Pilot: Blitz apologizing to her. Her telling Stolas to get up instead of her. Octavia briefly mentioning her.) We didn't know anything else about her. Some folks theorized about her in ways that created a lot of depth, only for Season 2 to reveal she was purely one dimensional with no sympathetic virtues whatsoever.

She was an abusive wife bound to Stolas out of a non negotiable duty to the Goetia family. It absolved Stolas of any responsibility or fault. Western Energy took it a step further and then robbed her of any weight as a villain in the story by introducing her brother and making him the mastermind. While Stella was painted as a pretty, petty, short-sighted, spoiled, impulsive brat. Which that's ok. I'm fine with her one dimensionality. Since the show never promised more than that. But some folks were really angry about it, claiming that the show did promise more. Now, that is a good example of building castles out of nothing but a potential future. Not to say that people aren't allowed to be disappointed with Stella's lack of depth. Because while the show didn't promise more, the lack of concrete evidence to the contrary allowed the space for potential. Thus, this is also a good example of how the show could have avoided this, if it were only clearer about Stella's personality from the beginning. Perhaps a scene or two more illustrating this.

This doesn't mean, that I think the creators suck. I do think they are doing the best they can, and are putting a lot of effort into the story. No, I don't think that I could do it better. Which sidebar, sometimes dissatisfaction with the execution of a story, and wanting to do it better i.e. your way, can lead to some pretty cool things. Iron Widow by Xiran Jay Zhao comes to mind (The author took inspo from Darling in the Franxx, they were unhappy with how it executed it's concept and they took it and made Iron Widow.) Or any multitude of fanfic. Or stories inspired by stuff in the public domain. But critique is ok, it helps with becoming a better writer/story teller. It tells you what works and what doesn't. Moreover, critique is always a suggestion not a command. Yes, haters exist, entitled fans exist, and people who completely miss the point exist. And yes, smaller projects tend to get more flack, especially when it involves queer stories, but that doesn't mean the rest is all noise. Multiple things can be true at once.

Claiming that people just don't understand subtlety or that they are plain stupid, is just disheartening. As though the only way to enjoy a show is to do so without complaint. I will admit I dislike negativity as much as the next person. I do in fact avoid it. Hell sometimes I don't like seeing critique. And yes, people are allowed to dislike, or express distaste with people critiquing the show. But again, it feels as though its being held on a pedestal, as though it can do no wrong, and its kinda a dangerous mindset to maintain. Nothing is above critique, nothing is perfect, and that includes your favorite shows.

Now does this mean that Helluva Boss is inherently a bad show? No. Are there problems with it? Yes. But, Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder though. Which means not everyone agrees. But I love this show. What's wrong with wanting to see it do its best, live up to its potential? (Oops is epitome of Helluva Boss's potential in my opinion, btw, and I look forward to more.)

Besides, Helluva Boss's creators are still gonna do what they are gonna do. Does it matter what someone on the internet says about it?

#helluva boss critical #helluva boss #and helluva boss fandom critical?#long post

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sassyfrassboss · 2 years

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Anyone who thinks that not wanting to hug a stranger is offensive has no grasp on British culture whatsoever.

Rightly or wrongly the old stiff upper lip idea is still a thing and is how lots of us are raised, not just older people. I’m a 29 year old Brit and hugging a stranger or even someone I know but am not extremely close to would make me feel awkward and uncomfortable. Doesn’t mean I’m rude or unwelcoming.

Then again I’m not sure why I’m surprised at yet another example of Meghan’s lack of comprehension of or willingness to learn and accept UK culture.

At this point it isn’t even culture but personal boundaries. What on Earth made her think that William and Catherine wanted to hug a perfect stranger.

Plus we have seen Catherine dressed down with minimal makeup. So Meghan saying that behind closed doors it’s always formal is BS.

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creature-wizard · 2 years

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Are you even reading your asks? I wasn't a buhurt new ager in your ask box, I simply said your examples aren't complex enough to actually help people discern what they hear , because besides the normal idiotic theories, new age beliefs are also going into the direction of a space where you can't really prove something because anyone can say anything about spells or energy work, or some shit put there in the universe which would be hard to prove because it's not a banana you can buy from the supermarket.

I am literally talking about a crowd of people who believe in blood libel with a sci-fi twist. I am talking about people who believe they can just positive think their way out of an economic system designed to keep the vast majority of people in poverty. I am talking about people whose comprehension of basic physics and biology are so far off from observable reality that by their own reasoning, the demon core should be the one of the most powerful healing objects in existence. My examples were exactly on par with this kind of bullshit.

The only one who seems averse to reading is you, because I keep emphasizing this, and you... well, you just keep ignoring it. I wonder why that is?

If you actually paid attention to the rest of my content, you'd know that I advocate caution when it comes to unprovable beliefs in any context. Like, I'm pagan, and I work with deities. I don't have 100% faith that those deities exist - but at the end of the day, it kind of doesn't matter to me because regardless of whether or not they exist, I find the process and the results satisfactory.

There are a lot of people in occult and witchy circles who are highly agnostic. Some people subscribe purely to the psychological model, which says that magic isn't even real at all; that everything is psychological in origin and effect.

And they still practice because they still find it useful.

I definitely won't tell other people that they have to believe in deities, or that there's something wrong with them for being skeptical, or having doubts about the veracity of other people's reported experiences. Because there are times where it's pretty important to have a strong sense of doubt - for example, when somebody tells you that their god hates you because you won't believe that they're this god's most specialest priestess ever. Or when they tell you that their god told them that there will be a catastrophe and you need to sell all of your stuff and come join in their compound a thousand miles away from civilization if you want to live. Or when they tell you that their god said you should invest in an obvious scam.

I'm also a major advocate of people exercising caution when something appears to be working for them, no matter what. Because it's often difficult to ascertain correlation and causation, and claiming that X definitively, absolutely, without any doubt whatsoever caused Y, without doing any sort of controlled experimentation, is irresponsible. This goes for claiming that your "get a job spell" was most definitely and assuredly the reason you got a spell just as much as claiming that your reiki attunement was most definitely and assuredly the reason you felt funky for a few days.

It's also difficult to be sure that what you think is the cause, is actually the cause. Did your spell work because you were manipulating mystical energies, or did it work because it put you in a better mindset? Does pain relief via energy work function because pain is actually an energy you can move, or does it just convince your brain that there's no pain to be felt?

I'm a pragmatist. I tend to believe that if something helps you, or appears to help, then go ahead and keep on doing it until you have a reason to stop doing it.

But don't hitch yourself to an unprovable explanation for why it works (or seems to work). Be willing to accept new explanations if the evidence supports them better.

#answered #anonsense #new agers #belief #skepticism #critical thinking #discernment

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catgirlxox · 2 years

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Why Benkai is NOT Endgame: A Deconstruction of The Most Dangerous Ship | Catgirl

(Pun in the title absolutely intended.)

Explicit language ahead. Viewer discretion is advised.

Regardless of it being really weird that people even want this glorified abuse to be a thing...by the series' own logic, it is not and can not be the conclusive “endgame” for the main character.

And it’s not just because I don’t like it.

Let’s start from the beginning: Kai Green was the first and final love interest introduced in the Ben 10 series for the protagonist. For some, that is enough of a justification for this to be the case because, allegedly, it’s been “planned” to end up this way right from the start.

My immediate thought regarding that is that the series wasn’t actually planned ten years in advance, as you should infer from the several retcons throughout the continuing plotline. Ben 10 was a series that continued as it gained popularity, therefore something as insignificant as the romantic subplot would most likely not be prioritized in the production process that early on.

Now, the bigger issue is that, when it comes to the writing of the actual relationship dynamic...well, they basically sank their own ship. Voluntarily.

Thanks to a certain misinformed child Spanner and episodes like “The Most Dangerous Game Show,” much of the audience came to accept this was the girl our main hero was going to marry without a doubt.

I’m here to tell you right now, that, by the series’ own logic, that is not true.

I’ve explained the reasons why, canonically, the Prime Timeline can not be anchored to just one of the future outcomes introduced in the series here. But, to reiterate, all of reality exists in the form of an Omniverse. Therefore, there are several future outcomes for the main character’s future and all of them can, and do, exist at the same time.

By that logic, in regards to relationships, technically, any ship you can think of can exist in its own separate alternate universe. As is the case for the Ben 10K future where he wields the Biomnitrix, and where the relationship in question does end up happening.

But, let’s be clear, this is one alternate universe within the Ben 10 Omniverse. For all we know, things could have gone very differently in that reality, since reality can “branch off” at any point in time.

Related to that is the issue of this kid…

…whose main reason for insisting that the pairing in question is “endgame” is because he is “from the future,” allegedly, and if the pairing in question does not happen, according to him, he will suddenly no longer exist. Again, as I’ve already outlined in the aforementioned essay, his logic is not only extremely flawed, but entirely wrong.

In short, due to his reality already existing, it can not cease to exist because every reality exists within a collective Omniverse at the same time.

Therefore, claiming that it’s “endgame” because of a supposed “destiny” is also wrong.

You know what was established from the very beginning? The toxic relationship dynamic.

Let me put it this way: Do you really think that after saving the whole universe several times, and dedicating his entire life to continuing to do so...THIS is what Ben deserves? Do you have no respect for the character who was at the centre of your childhood nostalgia, who is clearly important enough for you to stick around this long, whatsoever? You really DON'T think he deserves better than THIS?

If you, the reader, are one of those people, I’m glad you’re here. Every episode they are in together has something to unpack. And I fully intend on presenting a comprehensive list of everything you need to know.

Benwolf.

I find it really funny when people think that this is the only reason the character in question is so disliked. It is, by far, the least incriminating episode for her. I mean, considering Ben was capable of making good decisions at his age during his first run of saving the world, I'd argue one should be capable of knowing better when it comes to something as simple as what you should and shouldn’t say to someone. But regardless, rejecting a guy because you don't feel the same is not inherently bad. Especially at their age.

The real problem begins two installations later once she is reintroduced within the series continuity and doesn’t at all improve from her first appearance.

An American Benwolf in London, six years later.

In which, Kai calls Ben for help after the Forever Knights get in the way of her “archaeological mission.”

Before we go any further, I want to preface by acknowledging that Ben did not have to do anything she said. His only obligation was his own job, and what he chose to do in this situation was entirely because he wanted to help.

Moving on, as soon as they land, as Ben is introducing Rook to Kai, she cuts him off and says this:

“I just called you for backup, you know.”

In case you’re not getting the picture, she was the first one to sour the mood with this uncalled for comment. As you’ll see later on, Ben isn’t the one starting their arguments, contrary to what some like to argue. From this point on, the rest of Ben and Kai’s interactions follow the same pattern.

Despite that, this episode also includes the second time in the series Ben has saved her life. I feel as though, since it’s expected of him to do so because he’s a superhero, it’s glossed over. But it shouldn’t be. Ben doesn’t discriminate on whose life to save based on their behaviour towards him. Just take a look at “Alone Together,” where Ben literally has to work alongside his former enemy (who at that point in time wanted him dead) in order for the both of them to survive. He’s very clearly able to cooperate and try to get along, even with those who were previously his mortal enemies.

But Kai clearly only directs her bitchiness towards him.

Finally, they both exclaim, simultaneously, “he’s/she’s NOT my boyfriend/girlfriend!” Enough said.

Fight at the Museum.

In which Ben is first treated as a nuisance and then emotionally manipulated into being a security guard. Don’t believe me? Here, take another look.

The episode opens with a museum exhibit, which we quickly learn is Kai’s exhibit, of course, and full of artifacts of alien origin, some of which she doesn’t even know the history behind. Which is a whole issue in itself that ties into the actual fight in this episode. Nothing Ben said throughout the exhibit tour was offensive to any extreme degree. However, despite that, the fact that he even spoke at all was enough to warrant treating him (the guy she emailed an invite to) as a nuisance.

Tell me why, then, does she change her attitude so drastically as soon as she needs him to meet her own ends?

Afterwards, they spend the whole episode fighting and then viciously denying wanting to be together at any point in the future. Ben says there is “no way”, and Kai agrees, saying “the feeling is mutual.”

I mean, it was already a dumb move to put all the artifacts she (quite literally) stole on display where criminals can easily find them and steal them (and did), so she really wouldn't have been "nice" to Ben for any other reason besides needing him for some purpose that benefits her. And Ben, always being inclined to do the right thing, couldn't say no because of two reasons:

1. If he left, and something was stolen, the blame would be put on him for not being there to help prevent it from falling into the wrong hands. (Despite that happening anyway because she put herself in that situation, not because Ben didn't do a good enough job.)

2. It's his job to protect everything and everyone. He's technically working overtime (and as a teenager), but being a hero is a 24/7 job and he's dedicated to it to the point of attaching his worth as a person to being seen as a hero and doing his job efficiently.

And then there’s the ending. Ben promises to do everything in his power to help, regardless that he and Kai have been fighting all day. I mean, can he even have every single Plumber in the galaxy on the job? That’s a big request just to make one person feel better.

But Kai turns around and doesn’t even realize this. Instead, chooses to yell in his face. I can see very well that she’s upset, and I can acknowledge that when people are upset they may act erratically, or irrationally. But, this was not his fault, and judging by the way he reaches out for her when she turns away, shows that he clearly feels guilty for not having done enough to solve the problem and help immediately.

But she completely ignores it and in the next episode, continues to put the blame on him.

The Secret of Dos Santos.

In which Ben comes to help Kai replace her previously stolen artifact literally only because someone (Kai, who else) was acting as if it is his fault it was lost in the first place. When, let’s not forget, it wasn’t.

Kai: "You owe me an orb!"

Let’s be reasonable. Ben is not responsible for her inventory. Kai was the one who had voluntarily put it all in harm's way. He didn’t sign up to be her security guard. He doesn’t “owe” her anything.

On the contrary, Kai actually does owe him something: her life, considering by this point he saved her several times. The very least she could do is be grateful, even if Ben doesn't demand that of anyone he saves. Every time he saves the world from a threat, he indirectly saves the lives of people who may not even like him, allowing them to continue to be a nuisance in his life. But, again, he doesn’t discriminate against who to save. His job is to save lives, and that’s what he does.

That being said, it seems like every vaguely nice thing she does for him is regretted instantly, as if she is looking for reasons that he is not deserving of it at all.

In this episode, Kai is searching for a temple, and once Ben comes across said temple, he makes the choice to run back to her and let her know where it is. And, that choice is important to mention, because Ben and Kai just got into (yet another) argument. Instead of allowing her to find what she was looking for herself, he chose to put their fight aside to do what he came here to do in the first place: help her out.

She was appreciative until she learned that Ben hadn’t been the first one to notice the temple, took back her gratitude, and lashed out. This was uncalled for because it didn’t matter if Skurd had noticed the temple first, it was Ben who chose to turn back and literally bring her to what she was looking for. He had still helped her out.

That doesn’t call for a face stomping.

Just because Ben can handle it, since it’s a common occurrence for him in his line of work, that does not mean he should have to put up with this sad excuse for a potential love interest treating him essentially the same way some of his worst enemies do.

Let this sink in: the only other character who’s ever stomped on Ben was Vilgax.

It’s pretty clear you don’t treat someone you care about, much less someone who has saved your life, and won’t hesitate to do so again, like literal trash on the ground.

And, if using his face as rug for her dirty ass boots wasn’t bad enough, after they enter the temple, get past the traps, leading to the three of them falling to their would-be certain brutal injury if Ben hadn’t stepped in (and done most of the work fighting off their opponents) she fools him into thinking she was going to help him up and proceeds to drop him on his ass.

For absolutely no reason, might I add, besides that it’s somehow okay, in her mind, to do this to Ben only because it’s him. She most likely wouldn’t do this to any other character unless she had some kind of aversion towards them or they were a bad guy who is deserving of it. Which Ben is not.

If everything that happened in this episode was supposed to strengthen their relationship somehow, or push them together, the fact that Kai said that Ben can "forget about all the stuff Spanner said about them being a couple someday," before storming off despite the fact that Ben was joking about it, showing that he wasn’t serious about it either...doesn’t really work to prove to the audience that it did anything besides divide them even more.

The Most Dangerous Game Show.

In which the entire episode once again attempts to push them together, eventually leading up to another character being used to try to “confirm” that they will eventually get married and live happily ever after all the shit I just outlined. Romance by force, huh? Really convincing argument.

But, as bad as that is, it’s besides the point. Even the character they use to try to further push this narrative, Charles Zenith, in the end, claims the following:

“You don’t really have to marry her (Kai). For entertainment purposes only. I'm not the villain. We’re just giving the people something they want.”

I may be reading between the lines here, but it almost sounds like they’re indirectly addressing the fandom with this line, since it’s commonly known that a lot of us are divided on certain decisions made in canon.

I want to assume that they’d be paying attention to the opinions of the people who are watching the show they’re producing, and if that audience is generally unhappy with certain decisions that can’t be undone by this point, the only way to appease them would be to make it so that nothing is set in stone.

Stating things like “this doesn’t really have to happen” within the episode, and a writer also confirming that what they’ve hinted at on screen “isn’t necessarily” the future of this character only further adds to that speculation.

Pretty much everything being done with this series is “for entertainment purposes only.” The “fun of the character” is to tell his story in many different ways instead of forcing him into a specific box. As such, the fandom also proceeds to do the same, creating endless alternate universes for these characters simply because it’s fun.

Furthermore, I have no doubt that they know the original series is extremely cherished by the whole fandom due to nostalgia, and, by extension, the original series Ben 10,000 future is also extensively praised by the majority. Them choosing to have this character say “we’re just giving the people something they want” seems like they’re referring to forcing Omniverse Ben onto the path to that particular future so early on with the whole “Ben has to marry Kai” thing, despite their questionable chemistry.

It’s like they want that possibility out there to appease certain people, but also make it so that it’s not absolutely necessary. If it was, they would have made more of an effort to make them compatible.

The End of an Era.

Where the alternate universe that Spanner came from is literally shown on screen. Proving, for a final time, that it is not “endgame,” actually.

Keeping all of this in mind, behind the scenes, the writers were likely using the multiverse plot line as a means to bring back Ben 10,000 (or introduce a new version of him, actually) because, as I said, if you’re at all familiar with the fans of the series, they love the concept of Ben 10,000.

Focusing on the multiverse allows them to insert Kai into a story taking place in an alternate universe within the Ben 10 Omniverse and (attempts) to give her an actual role besides just "love interest," through which there would then be more of a reason to then reintroduce her into the main storyline as a new "love interest", whether or not they become a thing officially and definitively.

It’s likely this was done to tie up loose ends from the series before, as opposed to shoving the story into ONE direction, because that writes them into a corner and goes against the logic they set up in the final series.

Now that I’ve gone over their history and we’re all caught up, I’ll go over some common excuses.

“Her lifestyle fits into his lifestyle.”

“Her attitude balances out his arrogance.”

"It's just teasing."

Would YOU let someone step right on your face, drop you flat on your ass into a body of water fully clothed, and take every opportunity to discredit you and just say "oh, it's okay, they're just teasing me"?

You're making excuses for what would realistically be considered bullying, at the very least, if you absolutely can not accept the use of the word "abuse" to describe this dynamic. No, that isn’t harmless. The aggression is completely intended and done on purpose.

Some people argue that Kai as a character had a lot of wasted potential. But, while I admit there is no reason she couldn’t have been written differently, I disagree. I won’t like a character just because they might have had the possibility to be something else, or something better, they were chosen to be portrayed this way. By doing that, you’re ignoring the issues I have just outlined and acting as if they don’t exist.

I realize that no relationship is "perfect," but again, that is no excuse because they deliberately chose to show us all the flaws in this pairing alongside next to nothing good, when they could have very well done the opposite. In the end, it just seems like the only point they were trying to make was what a bad idea this would be in the first place.

So, no, Ben did not “end up” with her. If that’s what you think, you need a rewatch.

And, when it comes to the future of Ben 10, I’m all for more official content, but please, let’s leave this shit in the past.

#I present The Anti Benkai Masterpost #this one's been in the drafts for a few months #but recent events have brought up the topic of discussion sooo #ben 10 #ben 10 omniverse #ben tennyson #kai green #anti benkai #benkai #essay files

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luthiest · 2 years

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hi!! i was wondering if u had any recommendations for schools to be a luthier??? ive gained an interest bc of you and now im actually considering pursuing it but im not sure how to go about that. sorry to bother and thank u in advance!!

omg such flattery 🥰🥰 so there are 3 accredited, full-time violin making schools in the states: one in salt lake city, chicago, and boston! (more info below the cut :p)

they're all trade schools, so not university affiliated, which means acceptance tends to rely more heavily on the space available and personal statements/interest expressed. there are part time programs too that are at colleges/universities that i've heard of, but i've forgotten the names.. you come out with a degree, but tbh degrees aren't really of much importance in this line of work, from what i understand.

its a pretty big leap to make considering the time and tuition commitment, (the tuition.... oh man the tuition) so i would definitely recommend finding a luthier near you and asking them about their background and experience. for a lot of people who just want to repair and work locally, starting with some background shop skills/woodworking and then finding an apprenticeship with a maker is all that's necessary--at the end of the day, your work speaks for itself. i do think going to a school will provide the most comprehensive education in both modern technique and historic making tho, and will open up a lot of possibilities in terms of breadth of skill and community ties. (for reference, out of my 3 coworkers this summer, 2 went to chicago and 1 went to boston... make of that what you will)

i'm not sure what your background is in music/instruments, but if possible, finding a rental shop near you and asking if you can help out would be a helpful step in seeing if its something you want to do! that's essentially what i'm doing this summer, instrument set-up and assisting with repairs.. a lot of it can just be taught on the job, and rental shops are usually super busy in the summers.

that being said !! i've heard my teacher say before that he prefers students to come in to the program with no history of violin making, since its easier to teach a blank slate than to unteach bad habits. as someone who started school with no background knowledge whatsoever an anything besides playing, i can say that he's probably right, but a background knowledge of woodworking and/or tools would've been a huge benefit just in terms of vocabulary and familiarity.

i feel like i should add that i literally only have knowledge of the us, so if you're looking for info of diff countries lmk; i can definitely crowdsource an answer lolol. but if ur interested in the school names/comparisons of the schools, feel free to dm me!! its not hard to google but i also like..... probably shouldn't put the name of my school on blast so readily for anyone to see aha

i hope this was helpful, sorry for the super lengthy response !! <333

#ask em

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senadimell · 2 years

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Most right wing econ view? Most left wing?

huh, this is a really hard question to answer because it’s hard for me to actually define what counts as a “right wing” or “left wing” econ view because:

a) I focus much more on political economy than economy and my formal training has taught me enough to recognize that I don’t know crap and introduced me to just the right amount of information to realize no one model fits everything

b) I’ve spent the past few years focused on post-communist European and post-Soviet countries and it’s a pretty common line of scholarly thought that typical assumptions about economic and political “left” and “right” aren’t super meaningful political/economic terms in the region(s)

c) I grew up in the US, which doesn’t have a strong establishment “left” or labor party presence and is also historically allergic to anything too ““communist,”” and our two-party, non-coalition system arbitrarily splits things into Republican (red) and Democrat (blue) but our “left-wing” party is centrist at best

d) specifically, I grew up in the US bible belt, which is red-voter central, but given our whole two-party thing, the most meaningful political description I’ve seen comes in the form of Pew Research Center’s 9 categories of US voter, which means that “right wing” groups encompass economic views from “no limitations on corporations whatsoever” and “corporations are evil, actually, and tariffs are the best”

e) I was raised by what we might call a more classic soft conservative (what Pew calls a “committed conservative”) father and a populist mother in a town with its fair share of “faith and flag” conservatives but had contact with an unusually high percentage of college-educated religious adults, which really skews expectations of what various economic terms mean. It also means I’m still unpacking a lot of assumptions I grew up with.

so the end result is that classifying economic positions is...complicated for me

I initially started thinking about making linear scale that starts with neoclassical to keynesian to marxist (which is more of a critique than a model), but then realized I’d need to factor in questions of wealth redistribution, state intervention, and locality of decision-making and realized I’m trying to make a Grand Comprehensive Theory of Economic Alignment which is a far greater scope than it takes to answer the question.

But given my upbringing, pretty basic concepts like “economic policy should serve the common welfare, actually” can be oddly controversial and turn into moral debates?

ANYWAYS, I guess one right-ish wing belief (more of a populist view tbh, or really just a non-neoliberal one) is that tariffs and capital controls can be good, actually. Also that semi-socialized programs can be worse than both fully-socialized or entirely-private ones because it combines the excesses of both (thinking here about changes to the US medical system in the past 50 years). Going along with that, the economists may have a point when it comes to voucher systems?

As for left wing, idk, frankly. It’s too hard to conceptualize what is a left-wing view. I’ve been thinking about what you mentioned when I brought up a living wage and after mulling it over it seems pretty reasonable—living stipend makes maybe more sense than a living wage, which might even come off as a right-wing thing to say in some circles but the reason I hadn’t thought about it that way before is in part because I can’t see a democratic way for it to happen in my country because there are too many people who view work and wages as through a moral lens, and can barely be persuaded to accept a living wage as a necessity, so giving people money for not doing anything? [insert victorian workhouse line here].

miscellaneous: cash is good? it is good to have cash in the economy? the bretton woods system was pretty good and i clown on nixon but there were definitely stuctural weaknesses there but the neoliberals are wrong if they think the end of Bretton Woods happened because it was inevitable that pegs fail (because pegs fail but they also recover).

also it is good to have currency pegged to something and i’m terrified of the post-2008 quantitative easing/swap lines world we live in because people keep spending money and holding the US currency in reserve under the assumption that inflation will never hit and for the love of all that is holy i do not want to face catastrophic inflation because now is bad enough.

so make of all that what you will. I am very far from having a cohesive economic value system. I’m pro-experimenting small-scale and measuring success or failure over implementing large-scale policy over ideals, generally speaking, and suspicious of the state’s efficacy but also see it as necessary given the need to check capitalists. And also you should never ask me to write policy ever

#troll answer:#cryptocurrency and blockchain generally are STUPID and they solve exactly none of the problems i've seen them proposed to fix #because the problems are social and a different medium of exchange solves none of those problems #come to think of it i generally favor anarchist critiques and solutions but also tend to find them insufficient when it comes to money #and the corporation state that i live in #(feel free to respond to points under the cut in a reblog; i just figured i should probably keep personal life references editable)#huh...a lot of my points consist of *the populists aren't completely wrong actually* which probably says...something

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impostoradult · 4 years

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Media Market Research (and why its undermining all the things you love)

Trying to understand what is dysfunctional about Hollywood is an epic task, and the answers are like the stars – arguably infinite. Hollywood is dysfunctional for literally more reasons than I could count.

But market research plays a fairly heavy role in its dysfunction (IMO) and the time has finally come for me to add my professional two cents about this issue. (This rant of mine has been building for a while, FYI. Hence why it is so...comprehensive. There is a tl;dr section towards the bottom, if you want the high level summary)

*** For the last 4+ years I’ve worked in the field of market research, almost exclusively with major media makers like Warner Bros., NBCU, AMC/BBCA, Viacom, FOX (before Disney acquired them), A+E, etc. (this past year I quit the job where I was doing this work for a variety of reasons, many of which will become clear as you keep reading, but I am still listed as a consultant on the company website): https://www.kresnickaresearch.com/who/ (Rachel)

And just for comparison, here is a Halloween selfie I took 4 years ago and posted on my blog, so you can see I am who I say I am.

I know a fair amount about how market research on major media franchises is conducted and how it influences production, and a lot of these choices can also be at least somewhat tied back to the massive flaws in the market research industry and its impact. *** First, at the highest level, you need to understand market research in general is not well-conducted much of the time. Even the people doing a reasonably good job at it are VERY limited in doing it well because of financial constraints (clients don’t want to spend more than they have to), time constraints (clients want everything done as fast as humanely possible) and just the inherent problems within the industry that are decades old and difficult to fix. For example, all market research ‘screens’ participants to make sure they qualify to participate (whether it is a mass survey, a focus group, a one-on-one interview, etc.). So, we screen people based on demographics like race, gender, age, household income, to get representative samples. But people are also screened based on their consumption habits. You don’t want to bring someone into a focus group about reality TV if they don’t watch reality TV. They aren’t going to have anything useful to say.

However, a lot of the people who participate in market research have made a ‘side-gig’ out of it and they know how to finesse the process. Basically, they’ve learned how to lie to get into studies that they aren’t a good match for because most market research is paid, and they want the money. So, a lot of TV and film market research is being done on people who don’t actually (or at least don’t regularly) watch those shows or movies or whatever but have learned how to lie well enough in these screening processes to make it through. And because of the aforementioned time and money issue, clients don’t want to spend the time or money to actually find GOOD participants. They just accept that as an inevitable part of the market research process and decide not to let it bother them too much. So, a fair number of the people representing YOU as a media consumer are people who may not be watching Supernatural (for example) at all or who watch a rerun occasionally on TNT but haven’t been watching consistently or with ANY amount of investment whatsoever. You can see why that creates very skewed data. But that’s just the tip of the skewed iceberg. *** Second, media market research is conducted in line with the norms of market research more broadly, and this is a huge problem because media is a very atypical product. How people engage with media is far more complex and in depth than how they engage with a pair of jeans, a car, or a coffee maker. There are only so many things that matter to people when it comes to liking or not liking a coffee maker, for example. Is it easy/intuitive to use? How much space does it take it on my counter? How expensive is it? Does it brew the coffee well? Maybe does it match my décor/kitchen aesthetic? Can I make my preferred brand of coffee in it? The things you as a consumer are going to care about when it comes to a coffee maker are limited, fairly easy to anticipate in advance, and also easy to interpret (usually). How people mentally and emotionally approach MEDIA? Whole other universe of thing. Infinitely more complex. And yet it is studied (more or less) as if it is also a coffee maker. This is one of the many reasons I decided to leave the media market research field despite my desire to have some ability to positively influence the process. As so often seems to be the case, I fought the law and the law won. I could never make the other people I worked with in the industry understand that the questions they were asking were not all that useful a lot of the time and they weren’t getting to the heart of the matter. They were just following industry standards because they didn’t know any better and none of them want to admit they don’t REALLY know what they’re doing. Which leads me to point 3. *** Most of the people doing this research don’t have any expertise in media or storytelling specifically. They are typically trained as social scientists in the fields of psychology, anthropology, sociology, or math/statistics. And many of them do not have any kind of specialization or education in media/storytelling beyond the English classes they took in high school and the one Media Studies course they took as an elective in college. Most of them have a very unsophisticated understanding of narrative structure, thematics, tropes, subtext, etc. They mainly think in terms of genres at the VERY broadest level. Also, not infrequently, they don’t watch or have much knowledge of the shows they are supposed to be doing research on, beyond what they’ve read on IMDb or Wikipedia or what is generally common knowledge. Unless they by chance happen to watch the shows themselves (which often they don’t) they often know very little about the shows they are crafting these questions about. Again, partly because they think it is like the coffee maker, and you don’t need to understand it in any depth to research it. (I know this must sound insane to you as avid media consumers, but that is the general attitude among those who do market research) There is such a lack of sophistication in how people in the business side of the industry understand media and storytelling. Most of them are either MBAs or social scientists and their training has not prepared them to examine fictional works with the kind of depth that people in the Humanities (who are specifically trained to study texts) have. Somehow, despite the fact that the Humanities is all about understanding texts, that is the one discipline they make almost no use of in the business side of Hollywood. And boy howdy does it show. *** Point 4 – average consumers CANNOT ARTICULATE WHY THEY LIKE THINGS. Particularly media things. I know this sounds condescending, but it is my honest observation. It is unbelievably hard to get people to have enough self-awareness to explain why they actually like things, especially things as mentally and emotionally complex as media. What typically happens when you ask people why they like a TV show or movie, for example? They will tell you what they most NOTICE about the TV show or movie, or what is distinctive to them about it (which may or may not have anything to do with what they actually LIKE about it). They will say things like “I like the genre”, “I think it’s funny”, “The car chases are exciting”, “I want to see the detective solve the puzzle.” Sometimes you can get them to talk about what they find relatable about it, if you push them a little. But often they leave it at either the level of literal identity (young black woman), basic personality traits (she’s a social butterfly and so am I) or situations they’ve personally experienced (I relate to this story of a man losing his father to cancer because I lost a close family member to cancer). But the vast, vast, vast majority of them can’t go to the deeper level of: a) Why X representation of a young black woman feels accurate/authentic/relatable and Y representation doesn’t b) Why it matters to me that X,Y,Z aspects of my personality, identity, experience get reflected in media whereas I don’t really care about seeing A,B,C aspects of my personality, identity, or experience reflected in media c) How and why they are relating to characters when they can’t see the literal connection between their identity/experience and the character’s identity/experience. (For example, many people have argued that women often relate to Dean Winchester because a lot of his struggles and past negative experiences are more stereotypical of women – being forced to raise a younger sibling on behalf of an actual parent, being seen and treated as beautiful/sexually desirable but vacuous/unintelligent, his body being treated as an instrument for a more powerful group to quite literally possess, etc. Part of the reason Supernatural has always been such a mystery/problem for the CW and Warner Bros is they could never crack the code at this level. Never.) Part of the reason they can’t crack these codes is average people CANNOT give you that kind of feedback in a survey or a focus group, or even an in-depth interview (much of the time). They just don’t have the self-awareness or the vocabulary to get it at that level. Let alone asking them to articulate why Game of Thrones is compelling to them in an era where wealth disparity is creating a ruling class that is fundamentally incompetent at maintaining a just/functional society, which is especially concerning at this particular moment, given the existential threat we face due to climate change. And the truth is, that IS part of what people – even average people – are responding to in Game of Thrones. But what they’ll tell you when you do market research on it is: they like the dragons, they like the violence, they relate to Tyrion Lannister being a smart mouth, maybe they’ll say they like the moral ambiguity of many of the conflicts (if they are more sophisticated than average). But the ‘Dean Winchester is heavily female coded despite his veneer of ultra-masculinity’ or the ‘Game of Thrones is a prescient metaphor for the current political dynamics and fissures of modern western society’ is the level you ACTUALLY need to get to. And most market research can’t get you that because the people ASKING the questions don’t know what to ask to get to this level, and most of the respondents couldn’t give you the answers even IF you were asking them the right questions (which usually you are not) And I’m not saying average people are dumb because they can’t do this. But it requires practice, it requires giving the matter a great deal of in-depth thought, and most people just don’t care enough about it to do that while taking a market research survey. (I know this is going to feel counter-intuitive to people on Tumblr. But you have to remember, you are NOT average media consumers. You are highly atypical media consumers who have far more self-awareness and a much more sophisticated engagement with media than the average person watching TV. If you didn’t, you probably wouldn’t be here talking about it in the first place) Point 4.1 – People also lie/misrepresent their own experiences to market researchers because they want to maintain certain self-narratives. You have no idea how many people would get disqualified from our surveys for saying they watched less than 5 hours of TV a week. And sure, that might actually be true for a few of them. But if you watch TV with any regularity at all (which most people in modern America do) you probably watch more than 5 hours a week. The problem is, people think it makes them sound lazy to say they watch 15-20 hours a week, even though that’s about 2-3 hours a day (which actually isn’t THAT high). People lie and misrepresent their behaviors, thoughts and feelings because it can be socially uncomfortable to admit you do what you actually do or feel how you actually feel, even in the context of an anonymous survey, let alone a focus group or a one-on-one interview. People want to make themselves look good to THEMSELVES and to the researchers asking them questions. But that makes the market research data on media (and lots of other things) very questionable. For example, one finding we saw more than once in the surveys I was involved in conducting was people would radically downplay how much the romance elements of a story mattered to them, even large portions of female respondents. When we would ask people in surveys what parts of the story they were most invested in, romances ALWAYS came out among the lowest ranked elements. And yet, any passing familiarity with fandom would tell you that finding is just WRONG. It’s wrong. People are just flat out lying about how much that matters to them because of the negative connotations we have around being invested in romance. And never mind the issue of erotic/sexual content. (I don’t mean sexual identity here, I mean sexy content). The only people who will occasionally cop to wanting the erotic fan service is young men (and even they are hesitant to do so in market research) and women frequently REFUSE to admit that stuff in market research, or they radically downplay how much it matters to them and in what ways. There is still so much stigma towards women expressing sexuality in that way. Not to mention, you have to fight tooth and nail to even include question about erotic/sexual content because oftentimes the clients don’t even want to go there at all, partly because it is awkward for everyone involved to sit around crafting market research questions to interrogate what makes people hot and bothered. That’s socially awkward for the researchers doing the research and the businesspeople who have to sit in rooms and listen to presentations about why more women find Spock sexier than Kirk. (Which was a real thing that happened with the original Star Trek, and the network couldn’t figure out why) Aside from people not have enough deeper level self-awareness to get at what they really like about media content, they also will lie or misrepresent certain things to you because they are trying to maintain certain self-narratives and are socially performing that version of themselves to researchers. *** Point 5 – Qualitative data is way more useful for understanding people’s relationships to media. However, quantitative data is way more valued and relied upon both due to larger market research industry standards and because quantitative data is just seen as harder/more factual than qualitative data. A lot of media market research involves gathering both qualitative and quantitative data and reporting jointly on both. (Sometimes you only do one or the other, depending on your objectives, but doing both is considered ‘standard’ and higher quality). However, quantitative data is heavily prioritized in reporting and when there is a conflict between what they see in qualitative versus quantitative data, the quant data is usually relied upon to be the more accurate of the two. This is understandable to an extent, because quantitative surveys usually involve responses from a couple thousand participants, whereas qualitative data involves typically a few dozen participants at most, depending on whether you did focus groups, individual interviews, or ‘diaries’/ethnography. The larger sample is considered more reliable and more reflective of ‘the audience’ as a whole. However, quantitative surveys usually have the flattest, least nuanced data, and they can only ever reflect what questions and choices people in the survey were given. In something like focus groups or individual interviews or ethnographies, you still structure what you ask people, but they can go “off script.” They can say things you never anticipated (as a researcher) and can explain themselves and their answers with more depth. In a survey, participants can only “say” what they survey lets them say based on the questions and question responses that are pre-baked for them. And as I’ve already explained, a lot of times these quantitative surveys are written by people with no expertise in media, fiction, or textual analysis, and so they often are asking very basic, not very useful questions. In sum, the data that is the most relied upon is the least informative, least nuanced data. It is also the MOST likely to reflect the responses of people who don’t actually qualify for the research but have become good at scamming the system to make extra money. With qualitative research, they are usually a little more careful screening people (poorly qualified participants still make it through, but not as often as with mass surveys, where I suspect a good 35% of participants, at least, probably do not actually qualify for the research and are just working the system).

Most commonly, when market research gets reported to business decision-makers, it highlights the quantitative data, and uses the qualitative data to simply ‘color in’ the quantitative data. Give it a face, so to speak. Qualitative data is usually supplemental to quant data and used more to make the reports ‘fun’ and ‘warm’ because graphs and charts and stats by themselves are boring to look at in a meeting. (I’m not making this up, I can’t tell you how many times I was told to make adjustments on how things were reported on because they didn’t want to bore people in the meeting). (Sub-point – it is also worth noting that you can’t report on anything that doesn’t fit easily on a power point slide and isn’t easily digestible to any random person who might pick it up and read it. The amount of times I was told to simplify points and dumb things down so it could be made ‘digestible’ for a business audience, I can’t even tell you. It was soul crushing and another reason I stopped doing this job full time. I had to make things VERY dumb for these business audiences, which often meant losing a lot of the point I was actually trying to make) Point 5.1 – Because of the way that representative sampling works, quantitative data can be very misleading, particularly in understanding audience/fandom sentiments about media. As I’m sure most of you know, sampling is typically designed to be representative of the population, broadly speaking. So, unless a media company is specifically out to understand LGBTQ consumers or Hispanic/Latinx consumers, it will typically sample using census data as a template and represent populations that way. Roughly 50/50 male/female. Roughly even numbers in different age brackets, roughly representative samplings of the racial make-up of the country, etc. (FYI, they do often include a non-binary option in the gender category these days, but it usually ends up being like 5 people out of 2000, which is not enough of a sample to get statistical significance for them as a distinct group) There is a good reason to do this, even when a show or movie has a disproportionately female audience, or young audience. Because they need enough sample in all of the “breaks” (gender, race, age, household income, etc.) to be able to make statistically sound statements about each subgroup. If you only have 35 African American people in your sample of 1000, you can’t make any statistically sound statements about that African American cohort. The sample is just too small. So, they force minimums/quotas in a lot of the samples, to ensure they can make statistically sound statements about all the subgroups they care about. They use ratings data to understand what their audience make up actually is. (Which also has major failings, but I’ll leave that alone for the minute) With market research, they are not usually looking to proportionately represent their audience, or their fandom; they are looking to have data they can break in the ways they want to break it and still have statistically significant subgroups represented. But that means that when you report on the data as a whole sample – which you often do – it can be very skewed towards groups who don’t make up as large a portion of the show’s actual audience, or even if they do, they don’t tend to be the most invested, loyal, active fans. Men get weighted equally to women, even when women make up 65% of the audience, and 80% of the active fandom. Granted, they DO break the data by gender, and race, and age, etc. and if there are major differences in how women versus men respond, or younger people versus older people, they want to know that...sometimes. But here’s where things get complex. So, if you are doing a sample of Supernatural viewers. And you do the standard (US census-based) sampling on a group of 2000 respondents (a pretty normal sample size in market research). ~1000 are going to be female. But with something they call “interlocking quotas” the female sample is going to be representative of the other groupings to a degree. So, the female sample will have roughly equal numbers of all the age brackets (13-17, 18-24, 25-34, etc.). And it will have roughly 10% non-heterosexual respondents, and so on. They do this to ensure that these breaks aren’t too conflated with each other. (For example, if your female sample is mostly younger and your male sample is mostly older, how do you know whether it is the gender or the age that is creating differences in their responses? You don’t. So, you have to make sure that all the individual breaks (gender, race, age) have a good mix of the other breaks within them, so groups aren’t getting conflated) But what that means is, Supernatural, whose core fandom is (at a conservative guess) 65% younger, queer, women, gets represented in a lot of statistical market research sampling as maybe 50-100 people, in a 2000-person survey. 50-100 people can barely move the needle on anything in a 2000-person survey. Furthermore, usually in the analysis of data like this, you don’t go beyond looking at 2 breaks simultaneously. So you may look at young female respondents as a group, or high income male respondents, or older white respondents, but you rarely do more than 2 breaks combined. And the reason for that is, by the time you get down to 3 breaks or more (young, Hispanic, women) you usually don’t have enough sample to make statistically significant claims. (It also just takes longer to do those analyses and as I explained in the beginning, they are always rushing this stuff). To do several breaks at a time you’d have to get MUCH larger samples, and that’s too expensive for them. And again, I want to stress, this type of sampling isn’t intended to sinisterly erase anyone. Kind of the opposite. It is intended to make sure most groups have enough representation in the data that you can make sound claims about them on the subgroup level. The problem is that it can create a very skewed sense of their overall audience sentiment when they take the data at ‘face value’ so to speak, and don’t weight segments based on viewership proportion, or fandom engagement, etc. Point 5.2 – Which leads me to my next point, which is that fandom activity that doesn’t have a dollar amount attached to it doesn’t make you a ‘valuable’ segment in their minds. One of the breaks they ALWAYS ask for in data like this is high income people, and people who spend a lot of MONEY on their media consumption. And they do prioritize those people’s responses and data quite a bit. And guess what – young women aren’t usually high-income earners, and although some of them are high spenders on media, high spending on media and media related merch skews toward higher income people just because they HAVE more disposable income. Older white men are usually the highest income earners (absolutely no surprise) and they are more likely in a lot of cases to report spending a lot on the media they care about. Having expendable income makes you more important in the eyes of people doing market research than if you’ve spent every day for the last 10 years blogging excessively about Supernatural. They don’t (really) care about how much you care. They care about how much money you can generate for them. And given that young audiences don’t watch TV live anymore, and they give all their (minimal) expendable income to Netflix and Hulu, you with your Supernatural blog and your 101 essays about Destiel is all but meaningless to many of them (from a business standpoint) Now, some of them kind of understand that online fandom matters to the degree that fandom spreads. Fandom creates fandom. But if the fandom you are helping to create is other young, queer women with minimal income who only watch Supernatural via Netflix, well, that’s of very limited value to them as well. I don’t want to suggest they don’t care about you at ALL. Nor do I want to suggest that the “they” we are talking about is even a cohesive “they.” Different people in the industry have different approaches to thinking about fandom, consumer engagement and strategy, market research and how it ought to be understood/used, and so on. They aren’t a monolith. BUT, they are, at the end of the day, a business trying to make money. And they are never going to place the value of your blogging ahead of the concrete income you can generate for them. (Also, highly related to my point about people lying, men are more likely to SAY they have higher incomes than they do, because it’s an ego thing for them. And women are more likely to downplay how much money they spend on ‘frivolous’ things like fandom because of the social judgement involved. Some of the money gender disparity you see in media market research is real, but some of it is being generated by the gender norms people are falsely enacting in market research– men being breadwinners, women wanting to avoid the stereotype of being frivolous with money) *** In sum/tl;dr: Point 1 – Market research in general is not well conducted because of a variety of constraints including time, money, and the historical norms of how the industry operates (e.g., there being a large subsection of almost professionalized respondents who know how to game the system for the financial incentives) Point 2 – Media is a highly atypical kind of product being studied more or less as if it were equivalent to a coffeemaker or a pair of jeans. Point 3 – Most of the people studying media consumption in the market research field have no expertise or background in media, film, narrative, storytelling, etc. They are primarily people who were trained as social scientists and statisticians, and they aren’t well equipped to research media properties and people’s deeper emotional attachment and meaning-making processes related to media properties. Point 4(etc.) – Average consumers typically don’t have enough self-awareness or the vocabulary to explain the deep, underlying reasons they like pieces of media. Furthermore, when participating in market research, people lie and misrepresent their thoughts, behaviors, and emotional responses for a variety of reasons including social awkwardness and preserving certain self-narratives like “I’m above caring about dumb, low-brow things like romance.” Point 5 (etc.) – Quantitative data is treated as way more meaningful, valuable, and ‘accurate’ than qualitative data, and this is a particular problem with media market research because of how varied and complex people’s reactions to media can be. Also, the nature of statistical sampling, and how it is done, can massively misrepresent audience sentiments toward media and fail to apprehend deeper fandom sentiments and dynamics. There is also a strong bias towards the responses of high income/high spending segments, which tend to be older and male and white. Side but important point – Research reports are written to be as entertaining and digestible as possible, which sounds nice in theory, but in practice it often means you lose much of the substance you are trying to communicate for the sake of not boring people or making them feel stupid/out of their depth. (Because god forbid you make some high-level corporate suit feel stupid) *** What can be done about this? Well, the most primary thing I would recommend is for you to participate in market research, particularly if you are American (there’s a lot of American bias in researching these properties, even when they have large international fanbases). However, some international market research is done and I recommend looking into local resources for participation, where ever you are. If you are American, there are now several market research apps you can download to your smart phone and participate in paid market research through (typically paid via PayPal). Things like dscout and Surveys On the Go. And I know there are more. You should also look into becoming panelists for focus groups, particularly if you live near a large metropolitan area (another bias in market research). Just Google it and you should be able to figure it out fairly easily. Again, it is PAID, and your perspective will carry a lot more weight when it is communicated via a focus group or a dscout project, versus when it is shouted on Twitter. However, that’s merely a Band-Aid on the bigger issue, which I consider to be the fact that businesspeople think the Humanities is garbage, even when they make their living off it. There is virtually no respect for the expertise of fictional textual analysis, or how it could help Hollywood make better content. And I don’t know what the fix is for that. I spent 4 years of my life trying to get these people to understand what the Humanities has to offer them, and I got shouted down and dismissed so many times I stopped banging my head against that wall. I gave up. They don’t listen, mostly because conceding to the value of deep-reading textual analysis as a way to make better content would threaten the whole system of how they do business. And I mean that literally. So many people’s jobs, from the market researchers to the corporate strategists to the marketing departments to the writers/creatives to the C-level executives, would have to radically shift both their thinking and their modes of business operation and the inertia of ‘that’s the way it’s always been done’ is JUST SO POWERFUL. I have no earthly idea how to stop that train, let alone shift it to an entirely different track. BTW, if you want the deeper level of analysis of why I can’t stop rewatching Moneyball now that it’s been added to Netflix, the above paragraph should give you a good hint

#market research #Hollywood #media studies

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nohj3 · 2 years

Text

"What even is existentialism?"

"Its the state of processing existence and what it means and how it is. We're all small tiny specks floating in space on a rock. We all live. We all die. No matter what complex system of beliefs one pertains to hold, the fundamental truth that the reality of reality is simply beyond any humans capacity for comprehension, often begets a feeling of terrifying fear in those who attempt to comprehend it Nywys."

"It doesn't seem to scare you, though?"

"On some level it probably does, but greater than that, i simply find it comforting."

"You find it ...comforting?"

"Ye!^^ My life is ultimately meaningless. Anything i amount to simply modifies the amount of time bfor I'm forgotten. My decisions all lead to the same inevitable outcome. No decision i make is permanent. And Thank god for that xD"

"Why do you like feeling like you don't matter?"

"I never said i didn't matter. I matter a lot. The thing about matter, is that it's subjective. It matters to me a lot currently, that I'm up past my bedtime. But soon i won't care. Lol.

I matter because, people decided i mattered to them. Myself included. I think i matter. This body I'm piloting is dependent on me. I matter. As long as someone is alive to care, their very will makes things matter, even despite everything."

"So then why do you always... Talk like that? Like you don't care about yourself? About your decisions?"

"Because... I'm afraid."

"Of what?"

"Me."

"I'm gonna need you to explain that one."

"In this world, I'm the most terrifying thing here, Because i decide things and then they happen. Everything else that happens, happens. Sure another human made that decision, but i wasn't apart of that, only the consequences pertain to affect me, not the reasons.

In that sense, life is simply happening to me. Until i decide to change its course. Make it something else.

But then what happens? That's on me. I decided that. I have to live with the consequences.

I don't deserve that kinda power. That's too much for me."

"Why? I mean, power is a tool. Its not in- uh... Inheritally?"

"Intrinsically."

"Yeah. Its not intrinsically good or bad. Its simply the mental idea of how much influence you have on what's around you. What you decide to do with it is what makes it good or bad. And i don't think you'd intentionally do anything bad."

"No one would. But i don't believe in good or bad. Like, sure, some actions are obviously more good or more bad. But no action is only good or only bad. When you choose to change something around you... Well nothing is created or destroyed, that good came from somewhere.

Anything you give, you had to lose. A calculated loss. One you accepted and accounted as personally negligible of a loss, but still a loss nonetheless. Fighting for someone to win something, means something else lost. Saving a life ruined another's attempt to remove it.

I can't perform any action at all. Whatsoever. Without causing someone to suffer. And based on my track record, that someone, is usually me."

"So you find comfort in existentialism, because reminding yourself that your decisions don't matter, lets you not think about the harm you feel like your decisions are causing?"

"Pretty much yeah."

"You realize now that you say it outloud, how uh... Not ok you probably are?"

"I already knew that xD

But what else am i supposed to do? If i let myself operate on a plane where i acknowledge that I'm capable of changing the world, even a little, i also have to acknowledge the responsibility that comes with that. A responsibility i fail.

I have no idea how anyone else goes day to day knowing every little negative consequence of their every action Dx but i simply can't function like that."

"Well i honestly think they just don't think about it."

"Am i doing anything different?"

"I guess not. You're just aware of the fact you're ignoring it. And why and how."

"And I'm not even doing a good job, because its existence still haunts me into being afraid xD"

"You don't ever stop thinking do you? You can't ignore anything?"

"Not really..."

"I think i understand existentialism now."

"..."

"...all in all, though? I think this date is going well^^"

#rants #personal post #dialogue from my life #tge date actually did go well #they seemed far more distracted by my appealing frame to fully acknowledge my display of obvious issues with mental health #were doing another date again later i think #uh...#tw existentialism #i think that's probably tw worthy?#i don't really know how those work #but I'm all for letting people curate their online experience and i am pretty sure that helps

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notmanagingmymischief · 3 years

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hi ! so i saw that you had some difficulty understanding that post about white culture criticism, so i tried my best to sort it out for you, given that you asked yourself for some help on this topic <3

i do recognize that for things that tend to not be the main focus of our learning, they are indeed hard to understand about, but pls know that theres nothing to be mad about ! its only a matter of learning, some more diverse research and pratice ofc ^^

firstly: op talks about the concept that white folks have created and over-used called "dont like, dont consume" but still managing to be incredily tone deaf regarding actual content to be left behind for having negative representation/imagery

"dont like, dont consume" is on itself a "pathetic" concept because it introduces the mindset of those who choose to partake in solemnly easily understandable media content and remain ignorant towards the nuance and complexity that lies within any and all fandoms. of course, liking an easily understable type of content is totally ok !!, but to deliberately choose to shut down those who are more skeptical of it and simply tell those who analyze such a thing in more different lens than simply "this is a good show/book/etc" is a very negative type of behaviour to pursue when in midst of a community with people who will inneviatably have different opinions. they didnt mean that "ppl should say that your content is trash and youd have no right to defend yourself", but that they should be allowed to express opinions that dont particularly allign with yours, and that they should do so without having to explain themselves in such complicated details or find any specific and morally acceptable reason or anything to prove why it should be ok to enjoy or dislike something.

"mostly white and even more so white women, have made it some kind of social crime to talk abt disliking things. the whole 'if u don't like, don't read/watch/etc'"

is really just an argument over the whole concept created by mostly white people in which all nuanced thoughts and negative views over a certain type of media are blatantly ignored and treated as if something to be not had within a fandom they partake into/are part of, and tend to devote most of their personality and feelings into. by turning a blind eye to such thoughts, they erase any and all possibilities of properly complex discussion - the very own foundation of what it means to be part of a fandom/community - and so when such things are actually brought up to light, without the proper knowledge acquired through actual communication, the first emotion that surges through is defense and questioning - which we know very well that leads to fear and anger, very basic human instincts.

so, from blatant ignorance, the lack of nuanced understanding grows, and leads to more chances of heated discussions and shitty arguments made by those who actually have no knowledge whatsoever on how to healthily interact with outside opinions, and to what then opens space for over-protectiveness of this media (or just general unhealthy aspects/feelings).

and that is what also leads to ops next argument

"but even when there are ample reasons to hate a piece of media (racism, transmisogyny, or something of that sort at its core) those freaks act like it can still be "enjoyed critically" despite the fact that any critical thinking and basic morals would make it impossible to enjoy"

by the loss of common knowledge and critical thinking (given the lack of experience over proper discussion with different ppl about this mutually known media), when more gravely important things as stated above are shown, the development of over-protectiveness, dependence and lack of knowledge makes it so they keep on maintaining contact with this toxic media and shame those who are actively trying to discuss such concepts in a thouroughly comprehensive and non-toxic way (therefore being now not just ignorance but blatant discrimination agaisnt those - most of the time oppressed - groups who are desperately working for the acknowledgement of toxicity within this media)

to "enjoy critically" when the content is close to unconsumable is what white ppl do in order to stay dependent of something that brings meaning to them. and to refuse to actually be open towards new perspectives and opinions, in cases like this - but really. in any way - is very very fucked.

at the last reblog op really was just explaning that this was not about any specifics, but rather the criticism of something that has been building itself up for years and years, and that has been an influence in all of the internet. not just for fandoms, communities, or creative works like yours and of your friends, but really the entirety of a "culture" that has been around for so much longer. this was about white ppl being intentionally oblivious towards their favorite medias, but also discriminatory, ignorant and blatantly shitty towards any and all forms of nuance, common respect and knowledge on what is to be part of a place that houses not only them, but all of those who are willing to share their thoughts.

and so with that, to summarize it:

no, you liking some kind of content and someone else disliking it is absolutely not an excuse for hate and pointlessly cruel arguments - sometimes also very one-sided - (on neither of sides), and learning that to be able to communicate and comprehend that nuance lies within such things is the very first thing you need to have in your mind when partaking into social groups - specially so many negative things presented dont come to happen to you or the others around you.

pls know that i dont intend to sound mean or harsh (you know i would never do that to you, no matter what we may be talking about /gen), but a more formal and direct approach is always easier to understand imo and so i hope it might come to be the same for you. if you ever need to talk about smth, feel free to dm me or send an ask, and ill try my best to come to terms with it alongside you <3

See? THIS is what I need. This is very long but it explains things in a way that I can understand. Thank you, Jupiter, since op clearly didn’t see fit to be proper and explain, and instead decided to tell me to shut the fuck up and stop complaining. Although they are clearly five years old if their reply was anything to go by.

Thank you though 💚

#ask #my beloved jupiter

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rigelmejo · 4 years

Text

some comprehensible input links

language learning forums can be so toxic sometimes...

so many people love to push that “one method” is phenomenal and works when others just WON’T, meanwhile another will say the opposite. And then its like... where is the room to acknowledge maybe parts of each method have merit for different individuals, since they might help or click in different ways.

just today i saw someone arguing about stephen krashen’s language theories and how they’re all disproven bullshit that are completely unusable. I don’t know a huge amount about his theories. But I do know the emphasis he brought up on “providing students comprehensible input and lessons to learn from” is a concept that also is in stuff like the modern Teach Languages Through Storytelling lessons and Comprehensible Input Lessons. Which if you’ve ever used them? They’re Amazing. They are lessons where teachers purposefully use the target language as much as possible, and use visuals to help make what they say as comprehensible as possible to students so they can learn. This is how when I volunteered, we were supposed to tutor ESL speakers - because we could not reliably teach with english translation since their english levels varied, and we did not have speakers of every learners native language present to help teach them. Our program coordinator showed an example of how to do it by teaching us some Thai, his native language, in this method. And it was extremely easy to follow and understand. Textbooks/grammar guides/flashcards certainly will help speed up the process - aka allow students to use Graded Reader books, learner podcasts, then target language native materials like shows and novels to learn quicker. But lessons in the target language as soon as possible, emphazising getting students to comprehend, is valuable. Just as its valuable later on when students can handle more complex lessons in the target language.

Examples of teachers teaching through comprehensible input (I am thrilled to notice there’s a lot more than last time I looked these sorts of channels up):

Hit Chinese: https://youtu.be/xG3w2i1OBfc

Unconventional Chinese with Keren: https://youtu.be/9N-nNvnAYTs

French Comprehensible Input: https://youtu.be/c2SUQVjklVA

Alice Ayel (french): https://youtu.be/DcuVNAnsWZM

Dreaming Spanish (a fantastic example): https://youtu.be/ObO1CGY_NHI

Comprehensible Russian: https://youtu.be/gHCvEKxeXvk

Comprehensible Japanese: https://youtu.be/gHCvEKxeXvk

Japanese Immersion with Asami: https://youtu.be/pr_yRUVQQt0

Learn Korean in Korean*: https://youtu.be/zUulbCruiMs

I just found the Learn Korean in Korean channel a few weeks ago, notable in that he also teaches hangul before the other lessons. I think he maybe uses too few pictures to make it as easy on students. But having said that, I know zero korean whatsoever and am watching his Lesson 1 and finding it completely easy to follow. So I’d say yes his teaching style probably falls under “engage student in the target language and make it comprehensible so they can learn it.” I’m really impressed with his channel tbh because it teaches totally in Korean so any language learner from any native language could use it.

Just found Japanese Immersion with Asami today while looking up “japanese comprehensible input” and its an amazing example of how these kinds of lessons work. In a classroom setting (or with a tutor), generally the idea is to provide learners with lots of comprehensible input of the language they’re learning and perhaps some help to keep things comprehensible (in a classroom that would be word definitions on the board maybe for reference, or in these examples subtitles to aid learners for reference - although first priority a teacher is aiming to use pictures/gestures/visuals to make as much as possible comprehensible).

Examples of textbooks that teach through comprehensible input (these were made before Krashen, so i merely bring up Krashen because Today’s Language Forum Arguement was ‘all krashen’s ideas are bullshit ALL of them even comprehensible input ideas so you shouldn’t even bother using even a little of something related to his ideas):

French: https://archive.org/details/jensen-arthur-le-francais-par-la-methode-nature

Italian: https://archive.org/details/LitalianoSecondoIlMetodoNatura

Latin: lingva latina per se illustrata

English: https://archive.org/details/english-by-the-nature-method

(I’ve personally used that textbook for french and absolutely loved its teaching style, it works Really Well for me).

Graded readers, if they teach new vocabulary in context, may also fall into this section (depending on learner’s starting level compared to a graded reader).

my only point here is just. i hate seeing valuable learning methods completely thrown away, just because someone’s decided to equate one person’s specific method as bad - to decide every single thing related to it must be useless. In this particular case - before Krashen was old enough to have any theories, Arthur Jensen was making some of those books listed above! (Back then it was called ‘the nature method’ - although plenty of books using the term ‘the nature method’ do not teach as comprehensibly as what I’ve listed above, there’s definitely a range from ‘these are just vocab lists’ to ‘these are actually slowly teaching me new words in context’ lol). and all those youtube channels for comprehensible input? There are learners who do find them useful! I’ve found them useful!

oh man just today... sometimes people will be like “you MUST use flashcards to learn a language” and hello no you absolutely don’t have to i never did with French. Some people say “you MUST use textbooks” and yet there’s examples of people who did fine without them, vice versa people say “you must NOT use textbooks if you want to sound natural’ or whatever which? Me using grammar guides has always been immensely useful for me personally - though again some people found success with Much more textbook use, and with none. So can we please accept different methods work for different people?! And beyond that - maybe some Pieces of methods are useful to someone EVEN if the ‘whole thing’ isn’t.

Mass Immersion Method/Refold - its not ‘all’ for me. I’m never ever going to sentence mine. I rarely use flashcards and I never plant to MAKE any myself lol. Have I still found some useful pieces of Refold that have benefited me? YES I have. (Notably the parts about ‘comprehensible input’ since we’re on the topic). What I took from what little i have heard from Krashen - in particular a lecture he gave on improving reading ability in students - is reading for pleasure, exposing yourself to a lot of material even if its not perfectly at your level, will help you improve. Students who learned word lists, and students encouraged to extensively read, both made vocabulary and reading level improvements. Which - we’ve been in elementary school and had ‘free reading time’ to help us learn to read better! By reading something we liked for a period of time! Besides just the books assigned in class the teacher had us do vocab lists for! Well, in my french studies I very much saw that apply to my own second language learning too - sometimes I looked up words as I read, and learned words that way. Sometimes I simply read french for pleasure and just guessed at unknown words I Could guess at and moved past others - and also improved my reading ability and picked up some new words. Both ways helped my french improve, my reading improve, my vocab improve. And so that is what I took from it - that there is some merit in engaging with something you can understand Somewhat at least. That if you have some comprehension of a material, you may be able to learn Some More from it whether you just learn from context OR conciously look up everything unfamiliar. (And I do think looking things up speeds up the process sometimes). My point though is like... we’re really gonna throw out some good pieces because we don’t like one person who’s managed to touch on them? When so many before and after, their own levels of correct and useless parts, have found some usefulness in some parts?

I just do not get language forum drama lol... the issue is. These people were arguing because they find krashen ‘useless’ then all comprehensible input study is ‘useless’. Ok then. But pushing to all learners to use only a textbook, and avoid engaging with actual language (even when it may be comprehensible and therefore useful to them like the links above, for some learners), then they may slow their progress if it doesn’t suit them well. And it always depends on the individual, everyone’s a bit different.

#reference #resources #comprehensible input #rant #half of this is a rant at how all or ntohing some learner forums can be feel free to ignore it #i just. so many ppl shoot themselves in the foot #cause theyd rather shit on other things and say their own plan is perfect #than consider maybe. people have different unique needs/ways of doing things #ive never found a method that 100% worked for me?#but i found lots of Pieces of mutliplte ones that did!

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papirouge · 2 years

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Hi there wanted to ask you since I keep seeing this fandom discourse thing where you're debating? these people, not sure if it's a debate and more namecalling and threats from the one side. I just wonder something. I do think that certain shows that are meant for 'kids' are actually written better than ones for adult viewers since the ones made for adults tend to rely on crude humor, sex, not trying really to make engaging storylines, look at most movies above pg 13 whereas things considered 'kids' stories actually try to make thoughtful stories and such as The Lord of the Rings for example. I think there can be a balance between enjoying things that are cartoons vs letting it take over your life like obsessive fandom. Do you think there's a healthy balance? Maybe I just haven't found good content that isn't supposed to be geared toward a younger audience.

Honestly, this post wasn't that deep, anon lol It was just me saying "I don't trust grown adult with niche childish interest" and all hell broke loose lmao

Tumblr reading comprehension being what it is (=nonexistent), people started assuming I was saying that fandom'er couldn't be competent, "good people" or that I somehow stopped them from having their fun...when I'm just a woman with a blog and that I literally hold no power whatsoever on whatever they do with their life.

In the end of day, you do you anon, and I have no room to police whatever you should watch if you feel safe watching it, but it's really funny how many people will get legitimately *MAD* whenever seeing people not validating their life choices. Who cares that a tumblr rando thinks watching anime shows past a certain age is corny? I'm just a woman with blog🥴 ...Truly, this generation breeds on acceptance and is so insecure in their own life choices... :/ What's also super sad is them assuming that bc someone "hates" animated shows they have a boring life. People these days *cannot* imagine somehow having interests & hobbies not revolving about things on a screen.... Tragic.

#got someone tell me 'HAHA I HIT A NERVE OP RIGHT???' and they actually rage-blocked me lmao #these people self awareness is pretty non existent at this point #they're projecting big time #answered

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faerielleart · 3 years

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Hello! I’m sending this to various accounts: At ch132, it seems that Hange wasn’t planning to say goodbye to Levi, why do you think Hange would do that and how do you think Levi would react if Hange actually would’ve gone without saying goodbye? Do you think Hange underestimate their bond or was a way to protect both of them? Also, do you think the final plane was a wink to Hange or was a way to portrait their fallen comrades? If you took the time to answer this question, thank you very much <3

yo anon! thank you for the question!

i’ll answer in sections so i can organize my thoughts better. and warning, i’m probably gonna sound like a bitch during certain points but eh whatever just me being tired of people downplaying literally every fucking thing that happened between these two poor tragic boomers

the only explanation i find plausible as to why hanji would plan not to say goodbye to levi, is simply bc it would be too painful to leave if they bid farewell to each other properly. especially after the events of chapter 126 (and 127 when it’s once again reaffirmed, thank you isayama for spoon feeding), it’s clear than hanji’s deepest wish was to survive and spend the rest of their life with levi, and when it became clear this unfortunately was not going to happen (in this life at least), hanji was dead set on focusing on their duty and did their best to protect their heart til the very end, even if it meant not saying goodbye to levi. i imagine levi would be irrationally angry inside if hanji managed to leave without one last word to him, but in the end he’d understand that if they did so, it means they were suffering as much as he is right now, and that they only did so out of devotion to duty. he would never think hanji did it out of resentment against him or anything of the sort, that’s for sure. considering he was so bold in dropping the love word so casually in 132 in his little titan joke, he knows exactly hanji’s feelings towards him, and he knows that perhaps if hanji really went away without telling him goodbye, it was for the best, as it would’ve probably caused their resoluteness to falter. he would, however, be most likely twice as miserable as he was during the canon scenes we got in 132 and 133, knowing he didn’t have the chance to tell hanji how he truly felt (through the “dedicate your heart” panel), if we take into account hanji possibly not realizing the double meaning of his titan joke.

in now way on planet earth, in the milky way and in the andromeda galaxy this could ever be interpreted as hanji “underestimating their bond” unless you’re a salty lh anti with no reading comprehension and capability to be unbiased LOL

hanji underestimating their bond, after throwing themself in a river and getting shot at and murdering their own subordinates and throwing to the wind their duties just to ensure a 99% dead man gets another chance at life? cognitive dissonance, my old friend

and in the same way, interpreting the plane as “the fallen comrades” makes no sense whatsoever. levi’s fallen comrades died before even knowing planes were a thing that actually exists. levi’s fallen comrades didn’t all die sacrificing themselves to ensure a plane would fly. the plane can’t possibly represent them. again, it’s a matter of zero reading comprehension and unwillingness to accept a blatant narrative device that you literally study in school called “metaphor”. and if somehow in the future yams ever pulls out of his ass something similar in an interview or whatever it would mean he genuinely gives no fucks about keeping his story coherent lmfao

thank you again for the question <3

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novelconcepts · 4 years

Text

fic: (how lovely i feel) not to have to pretend

Jamie has never met anyone quite like Dani Clayton--a matter that goes without saying on nearly every level. She’s never met someone quite so selfless, quite so brave, quite so prone to acting on behalf of others without even seeming to realize she’s doing it. More than that, she’s never known anyone else to be quite so self-possessed as Dani Clayton. No one but Dani has quite the same capacity for keeping a firm grasp on how they look to the outside world.

Jamie finds it remarkable even before they become a they at all--watching Dani stride around the manor grounds with her head held high, her shoulders thrown back, her fists clutched tight at her sides as though she is at all times in full control of her physicality. It is most remarkable because it simply isn’t true; almost before she knows the woman’s name, Jamie becomes familiar with the demons she’s holding at bay, the short breath and sharp sob she tries so hard to keep shelved. Dani to the naked eye is a woman clean and pressed and presented. Dani beneath the surface is roiling.

And still, even once Jamie knows there is something else lurking behind blue eyes and pretty smile, it can be hard to forget. Dani is so good at fabricating a version of herself for the world, a version fit for consumption, that she almost doesn’t seem to realize she’s doing it. Her clothes, though meager in number, are always clean and well-matched; her hair, be it tied up or tied back or teased high, is perfect. Dani is every inch the person Wingrave hired her to be: a young woman in control of her own body, a young teacher poised to guide her charges into the light of self-restraint.

And, if she should shudder at shadows--

If she should flinch from mirrors--

If she should, from time to time, catch herself staring at Jamie as though uncertain how they both got here--

Things happen. Things outside of Dani’s agency happen, and they seem to keep happening--death, and darkness, and decisions made by everyone around her--and still, Dani doesn’t bow. Dani’s head is up, Dani’s clothes are clean, Dani’s eyes are clear.

Even after the lake. Even after things go the most wrong anything ever has. Dani’s head is up. Dani’s clothes are clean. Dani’s eyes are...

Jamie sort of expects it all to change, after that. Expects Dani to change, after that. To lower her guard, or to build a wall to the sky, or something to show on a tangible level what she is carrying on her back. But Dani is still, despite it all--though her gaze is distant and her smile is brittle and she forgets from time to time what she’s doing or where she is--Dani. No one is the wiser. No one has the first idea she might not be in total control.

No one except for Jamie. Dani lets Jamie see it all. Dani gives her the darkness, the shuddering terror, the long nights kept awake and the long days made giddy from lack of sleep. Dani gives her laughter, and blank stares, and everything in between. It is, Jamie recognizes, the greatest gift one person could give another: to offer up on the altar of trust the self, the whole self, for good and for ill. Jamie gets to see it all, though no one else has a clue.

Jamie doesn’t take it for granted.

***

This art of Dani, this secret language of reading between the lines, comes in handy on bad days, it’s true. There are times Jamie thinks it is fortunate she is so equipped with comprehension, so well-honed to Dani’s every mood. Early on, especially, it comes in handy more often than she could possibly have predicted.

Still. It isn’t always a matter of doom, with Dani. More often than not, this self-possessed air has nothing whatsoever to do with her beast in the jungle, her rising panic, her terror of looking too far ahead.

More often than not, her self-control reveals itself in a completely different sense.

It begins at the house, on a lovely day that starts with Jamie waking alone, Dani on her skin and all around her in every sense except now. It begins with Jamie pulling her clothes on in a rush, feeling slow and muddled and a little bit drunk with the memory of Dani’s hands trailing like phantoms along her body.

“You’re going?” Dani, in the doorway, a pink jumper and cascading hair and nervous little smile. Jamie, one boot in hand, her jeans still unzipped, feels herself grin too broadly to restrain.

“Thought you’d already gotten to business.”

Dani shakes her head. “I found Flora outside again. She says she’s all right, so I left her with Owen and Hannah in the kitchen. Wanted to make sure--”

She trails off, looking embarrassed. Jamie tips her head and waits.

“Wanted to make sure you didn’t wake up alone,” Dani says at last in a rush, her eyes wide and blue and so happy, Jamie can’t imagine her any other way. “I was afraid if I took too long, you’d--well, you’d leave, and I wouldn’t get a chance to--”

“Wouldn’t go far,” Jamie promises. It’s not a thing she’s ever been able to offer a woman before, not wearing yesterday’s clothes and feeling the gentle ache of last night’s pleasures winding through every muscle. She’s never in her life been able to look a woman in the eye the next morning and say as much, but she says it now. “I...I’d like to stay.”

It’s sunlight, the way Dani smiles, stepping all the way into the room. Her hand lingers on the doorknob, her fingers tapping an idle melody as she looks Jamie over as if searching for some kind of permission. When Jamie lets her boot drop to the floor, it seems to be all Dani is looking for.

They should go downstairs, some distant part of Jamie’s responsible nature grumbles--but the rest of her can’t be bothered. Not with the eager stride of Dani crossing the room, the click of the door coming to rest in its latch as thrilling as the day’s first kiss.

“They’re gonna know,” Jamie says, plucking at the front of her shirt. “That I--that we--”

“Yes,” Dani agrees. She’s standing within reach, rocking on her heels. Jamie, seated on the mattress, feels as though they are on opposite sides of glass, as though Dani in her clean clothes and nervous smile is today while Jamie in her rumpled t-shirt and mussed hair is last night. Dani could still walk away from last night, walk off into today, if she so chooses, and Jamie would be here. Stranded in the memory of Dani’s touch, ghost-light on her skin.

“Do...you wanna...” She extends one hand slowly, as though approaching a skittish animal, and Dani grabs for it like a lifeline. The space between shatters, Dani coming to her with all the graceless glee of taking a breath after too much time underwater.

She expects slow, gradual, even fearful--expects the shine of last night’s fire to have faded to something that might yet burn them both--but Dani’s knees are dimpling the mattress, Dani’s weight firm and steady in Jamie’s lap. Dani’s hands are on her face, as though she might have forgotten overnight what Jamie feels like and can’t stand a minute more without learning each arc and line all over again. Her thumbs sweep across cheekbone, along bridge of nose and arch of brow, her lips barely a breath away.

It’s tempting to close the gap, but Jamie forces herself to wait. Forces herself to mirror Dani’s hands, cradling, testing, exploring with the pads of her fingers in gentle motions. There’s something about this--about posing at the door of something grand, about standing here with toes just over the edge of the entryway, waiting to be invited in--that forms its own kind of gravity. Last night had been waiting for Dani to come to her, in every sense of the word. This moment, this morning, is a suspension.

Control, she thinks for the very first time. Control over time in this one perfect, near-impossible way. Control over space, as they hold just apart from one another, as Dani’s knees dig into the bedspread and Jamie’s thighs flex beneath her. Control in the most self-imposed sense of the word, lips an inch apart.

Dani kisses the corner of her mouth once, lightly. It is, Jamie thinks, a challenge--and one Jamie accepts without pause. The curve of Dani’s cheek is soft against her lips, a temptation all its own. Dani sighs, one hand sliding up the back of Jamie’s neck to rest at the base of her skull.

Another kiss, then, Jamie thinks with shivering anticipation. Just a small brush against the tip of Dani’s nose. Dani, in kind, presses one to her forehead, cradling the back of Jamie’s head, her lips lingering for a full beat. Jamie closes her eyes.

There is seduction in slow and easy, she thinks, and all the more so because it is not intentional. Dani is not trying to be anything at all except a woman who wants Jamie in this moment--a woman who holds to the back of her head, fingers trailing through messy curls, mouth drawing a slow path across forehead and temple, down one cheek and up the other. Each kiss is deliberate, gentle, Dani’s lips parting and sliding as though she could quite happily spend the entire morning doing nothing else.

“Is this...are you...” Dani seems unwilling to stop long enough to let her own thoughts unravel. Her nails scratch softly down Jamie’s neck, one hand coming to lay at the base of Jamie’s throat. “Do you want...”

Jamie is nodding, not much caring where that sentence might end. Want to stay here forever? Want to let Dani burn an entire day exploring her at this leisurely pace, her lips tracing the shell of Jamie’s ear, her breath dragging shivers down Jamie’s spine? Want to keep her hands right here on Dani’s waist, pushing pink cloth aside to rest on the soft skin beneath?

“We should be quick,” Dani breathes, though her kisses do not increase in velocity or pressure. Her hands are trailing down the backs of Jamie’s shoulders, palms sliding over shirt, fingers dragging back up again. Jamie is dimly aware of her own hands flexing, pushing Dani back, pulling Dani forward. Dani, smiling, does not fight her.

“This feels,” Jamie says, her voice still raw from lack of use, “like the opposite of quick.”

It feels, instead, like a promise. As Dani pushes beneath her jaw, easing her head back, laying an open kiss to the top of her throat, she wonders if this isn’t some sacred space they’ve built. A perfect, singular spot where nothing can touch them, no one can intercede, time itself is forced to stand still.

Dani, still kissing her way down even as she’s easing Jamie’s shirt up, hums against her skin. “Want me to speed up?”

“No,” Jamie says before she can stop herself, before she can even begin to interrogate the notion that Dani with this kind of control over herself--this kind of control over both of them--might be the thing she’s been needing for a long time. She feels Dani smile against her, feels the tip of Dani’s tongue flick lightly against her rushing pulse.

“Want me to...” She rises up, brushing her nose against Jamie’s, letting her lips linger in the softest kiss Jamie’s ever been gifted. Jamie is nodding, wild with the memory of how Dani had kissed her last night compared with how carefully Dani is kissing her now. On purpose, she realizes. On purpose, Dani is doing this. Testing every bound available to her. Testing Jamie’s resolve, and her desire, and her control.

Abruptly, Jamie closes a hand around the back of Dani’s head, urging her close, and all the seduction in the world can’t compare with how Dani breathes her in. With how Dani presses her down into the mattress, sitting tall astride her with hands buried in Jamie’s hair. Jamie lets them both fall backward, lets Dani sink into her with a soft moan, and thinks it is good to know Dani has this in her--the desire for slow and easy and calculated--just as it is good to know how quickly that dam can break open. How Dani can swing in a moment from teasing to throwing her whole self into a kiss like this, her hands sweeping down Jamie’s body, searching for the place where her zipper gapes open.

Dani, kissing like Jamie’s the only sustenance a world can offer, slides a hand down her jeans and presses her own hips behind the action. The shift from slow to sudden is immaculate, dizzying, and Jamie feels herself building almost before she can stop herself. She has never in her life been this awake, this present in her own body, as Dani rolls her fingers in tight circles, her quick-study smile hot against Jamie’s lips.

Control, gathered and broken in moments, and Jamie is making desperately muted sounds, turning her face against Dani’s shoulder in an effort to quiet herself, even as Dani is fighting tight denim, letting her fingers quicken their pace, letting her own body chase Jamie’s--

A knock sounds once, a quick rap of knuckles followed by a rather amused, “The children are beginning to worry, and I’m running out of excuses for you both.”

Jamie flinches from the sound, even as her body tries recklessly to follow the melody of Dani’s fingers. Dani freezes, her mouth gone rigid against Jamie’s skin.

“Miss Clayton,” Hannah says in that same too-entertained voice. “Flora in particular is being very persistent.”

“Out in just a sec,” Dani calls back, her voice stunningly level. Jamie raises her eyebrows, opening her mouth to add something, and Dani gives her a smile, gives her a series of hard strokes with confident fingers. Jamie chokes, jerks under her, the unexpected combination of that gesture with Dani’s grin pushing her over the edge.

“I suppose Jamie will be needing a plate,” Hannah goes on, oblivious. Jamie’s hand is over her own mouth, clapped into place just in time for her lips to part around a silent groan. Dani, hand sliding free as though it had never been busy at all, laughs.

“No getting anything past you.”

“Well, it’s hard to deny the reality of the truck out front,” Hannah says wryly. Dani is out of bed, wiping her hand discreetly on the bedspread, straightening her clothes and brushing back her hair in a flurry of distinct motions.

Jamie, shirtless and panting into her own hand as she comes back to earth, gapes at her. Dani reaches down, catches her by the wrist.

“Come on,” she says, cheerful as anything. “Breakfast.”

***

It’s an art form, Dani’s ability to keep together regardless of the situation. A truly mesmerizing art form which Jamie, try as she might, cannot for her life replicate.

“How,” she asks one day, Bly Manor two years behind them. “How are you doing that?”

“Doing what?” Dani asks innocently.

Innocently--as though she hadn’t just been pressed against the table, her skirt a mess, her blouse gaping open. As though Jamie hadn’t been holding her there, hands firm on Dani’s thighs, pressing her open. As though it hadn’t been a brief eternity of Dani rocking into her fingers, both arms wrapped tight around Jamie’s shoulders, her voice a low echo against Jamie’s ear as she’d begged Jamie to move faster, to give her more, to bring her to the edge before lunch break could end.

And now, not a minute after Jamie had curled deep and felt her shudder, not a minute after she’d bitten down on Jamie’s shoulder to keep quiet, Dani is buttoned, pressed into place, utterly presentable in every way.

“That,” Jamie says, gesticulating wildly to cover the whole of Dani in a single motion. “How does your hair do that?”

“It’s just hair,” Dani says mildly, smoothing it carefully down with her palms. It stays in place as though never been mussed at all, as if Jamie hadn’t just grabbed a handful and used it to yank Dani into a kiss.

Jamie’s hair, on the other hand, feels like it’s sticking up in twelve places. Her clothes, which hadn’t even been unbuttoned, unzipped, removed in the least, feel in dire need of an ironing. Her mouth feels swollen, her skin flushed, and Dani is still sticky on her fingers.

“You look,” she says dumbly, “like you didn’t just--I mean, you did come, yeah? I didn’t hallucinate that?”

“Hell of a nice hallucination, if so,” Dani says with a laugh, and kisses her one more time--a long, glorious kiss, one of those stop-time kisses Dani seems to come to so naturally. When she steps back, Jamie fumbles for the table, blinking away stars. “Shame there wasn’t enough time to return the favor.”

“I look like you ravaged me six ways to Sunday,” Jamie points out in a faint voice. Dani looks pleased.

“Six ways, huh? Sounds like fun. We should discuss that later.”

Jamie opens her mouth, but Dani is already ducking out of the back room, striding to flip the sign back to open and greet the customers who have gathered on the sidewalk to wait.

“You look ill, dear,” one of the old women tells Jamie, who has staggered to the counter with considerable effort. “Flushed. Not running a fever, I hope.”

“Warm day,” Jamie says, fully aware that it is late November. Dani tips her a grin, a thumbs up, her entire demeanor perfectly arranged. Jamie shakes her head. “Warm. In the back, I mean. Humid. For. Plants.”

The woman gives her a puzzled frown. “Best take care of this one,” she calls to Dani. “She needs someone to look after her, I can tell.”

“Hey--”

“I always do,” Dani assures her, never breaking her smile.

***

Honestly, it’s almost eerie. Dani’s capacity for control seems to have no bounds, no push too far to reel back from. Jamie has actually started to try, curious if there’s a way to turn Dani from neat-and-orderly to flustered in public settings. It becomes something of a personal challenge.

She finds herself pressing up against Dani in the shop after-hours, letting her hands roam around Dani’s ribs, up her breasts, down the front of her blouse. Dani gamely lets her head fall back onto Jamie’s shoulder as deft fingers work open her buttons, allowing herself to rock back as Jamie’s hands knead at the front of her bra, as Jamie’s fingers pinch and stroke.

“You’re playing a dangerous game, if you think we’re ever going to finish inventory.”

“Danger can be good,” Jamie points out, pushing aside Dani’s collar and sucking sharply. The skin is glistening, reddening, her tongue stroking away the tease of her bite, and Dani tips her head to allow better access.

“It’s like you don’t even want to go home.”

“You keep counting,” Jamie suggests. “I’ll keep doing this. Everybody wins.”

“And if someone--” Dani groans as Jamie slides her fingers beneath the cup of her bra. “If someone calls?”

“Well,” Jamie says politely, pressing herself harder against Dani, pinning her to the table. “They’ll just have to wait, won’t they?”

It’s a fine plan, she thinks with self-congratulatory pleasure. A fine plan, letting her free hand wander down to pull at Dani’s belt, feeling Dani slowly unwind the day’s tension into her hands as she leans back, breathes deeply, gasps.

A fine plan, and if the phone should--

It rings, right on cue, and Jamie waits for Dani to push her away. Is certain that this--Dani rolling her hips into Jamie’s waiting fingers, Dani abandoning inventory altogether for Jamie’s considerably more interesting plan--will take precedence over any self-imposed need to look presentable Dani might have.

“Let it go,” she suggests, even as Dani’s hand is drifting. “Let it go and let me--”

“Keep going,” Dani says in a low voice, and then the phone is to her ear, and she is saying, “Good evening, Leafling, Dani Clayton speaking” as though nothing is happening. As though she isn’t leaning her head on Jamie’s shoulder, Jamie kissing her neck as quietly as possible. As though Jamie’s hand is not working magic between her legs, Jamie grinding herself against her back in that way she knows makes Dani’s breath quicken.

Dani’s voice is never anything less than polite as she walks some faceless stranger through the finer elements of a birthday arrangement, though her hips are matching Jamie’s increasing rhythm, her skin flushed pink beneath Jamie’s lips. She turns her head, watching Jamie with dark eyes, tongue pulling her own lip between her teeth as she says, “Yes, yes, that sounds--that sounds beautiful. Would you--”

Jamie grins, pulling her hand free. Dani makes a thin noise of disapproval, easily passed off as a cough over the phone--and then, a startled sound as Jamie grasps her hips and presses her over the table, leaning across her back.

“You could still hang up,” she points out in a bare whisper against Dani’s unoccupied ear, even as she’s pulling Dani’s jeans down. Easing Dani’s legs apart. Pushing her harder down against the table, kissing the back of her neck, slipping a hand between her spread legs from behind.

“Yes,” Dani says, perfectly calmly into the phone, “yes, we do--we do two-for-one deals through the weekend, would you like--”

Jamie laughs. She’s fighting a losing battle, it’s clear; though Dani’s skin hums beneath her hands, Dani slick across her fingers as she tugs down underwear and returns to her efforts, Dani never shows a sign of it in her voice. If she is rocking harder against Jamie’s hand, if she’s gripping the table with white-knuckled desperation right until the end of the call, it does nothing to diminish the easy charm of her additional, “All right! Sounds wonderful, we’ll get that squared away for you by Monday. Have a lovely evening. Yeah. Yes. Bye now.”

She slams the receiver down, bows her head, cries out as Jamie gives a particularly hard thrust in celebration. Jamie is laughing into the back of her shoulder, her wrist aching as she slides free and shakes her head.

“You are unbelievable.”

“I am a professional,” Dani gasps. “And you were doing a really, really good job.”

***

Dani doesn’t give up control in public, not for anything. It isn’t even intentional, Jamie has come to realize. The product of her upbringing, probably; the expectation of too many years, too many people telling her to stand up straight, keep her clothes neat and her smile orderly. Dani is presentation and poise, even in her darkest moments.

Except for this.

Except for being here.

Dani at home is truly at home. In pajamas, in wrinkled t-shirts, her hair a mess, her face devoid of makeup, she is perfectly at ease. Perfectly imperfect. At home, with Jamie, she allows herself to fall apart in every way a woman can.

She laughs more at the apartment, and with greater reckless zeal. Rarely does Jamie hear this breathless tint to her laughter outside; rarely does Jamie see her collapse into herself with giggles, cackling so hard, she nearly knocks herself off the couch.

She cries harder at the apartment, and with no interest in doing so prettily. Rarely does Jamie see her face blotchy and miserable outside; rarely does Jamie hear her gasp and choke and whine as sobs wrack her body.

She dances at home. Dani isn’t much of a dancer, it turns out, but there’s something magnificent about watching her move to the radio as she cleans the kitchen, as she smoke a cigarette and puts dishes away to the tune of Top 40 hits.

She sings, too. Never in public, never where she thinks she can be judged, but at home, Dani is always singing. Her voice is pretty and unrestrained, no training at all as she scrambles for notes Jamie would put her own eye out trying to reach. There is something simple and marvelous about days when Jamie comes home late, a pizza in hand, to hear Dani belting in the shower.

She is at her best when she is free, Jamie thinks. When the control is set aside because she no longer needs it, no matter how good she is at keeping a hand on the wheel.

She is at her best at home, with Jamie, here. With candles lit and dinner ordered in, with Jamie in her finest clothes for the express purpose of offering cheap wine in discount glasses.

“It’s just a day, Jamie,” Dani says, but she’s grinning. Just a day for most people, maybe, but this marks three years of time in America. Three years with Dani’s beast silent and Dani’s love loud. A day, sure, but it means the world when you put it that way.

“It’s silly,” Dani says, though she’s wearing a dress that makes Jamie wonder how she even got into it without help, and her lips are painted as though she isn’t fully aware Jamie will be ruining them as soon as dinner is over.

“It’s nice,” Jamie counters. Dani raises her wine to her lips, nodding.

“It is. Thank you.”

“For what?” Italian food ordered in from the best local place is not, exactly, high-class. Jamie with a dishtowel over one arm, playing at fancy as she tops off Dani’s glass, is not exactly high-class, either.

Jamie in general is not exactly high-class--and she has not for even a second thought that mattered. Not to Dani. Not ever.

“Thank you for...all of it.” Dani gestures to encompass Jamie, the apartment, the world. “For not getting sick of it.”

“Never,” Jamie promises, and pretends she doesn't see the tears in Dani’s eyes as she bends her head to kiss her.

It’s true that Dani thinks she could get tired of it all, that Dani thinks she could at any point be ready to walk away. It will get worse with time, but for now, it’s easy to convince her to step back from the weight of that line of thinking. Easy to take her hands, bring them to Jamie’s lips, walk with her backwards away from the fear of not being good enough. Of not being whole enough. Of letting the polish slip so much that Jamie might one day flinch from what’s waiting beneath.

Jamie doesn’t know how to make it clear how little she cares for the polish and the poise, how little she needs the artifice Dani is so good at putting on for everyone else. Dani, who has made a life out of professional, responsible, put-together. Dani, who needs people to see the woman who does not step back from shadows, who is stronger than she knows.

And still, the best moments are these: Dani with her dress pooling at her feet, stepping out with an almost shy giddiness as she moves into Jamie’s arms. Dani, her cheeks flushed, the pink trailing down her neck, splashed across her chest as she leans back onto the bed. Dani, her makeup smudged, her lipstick stained into Jamie’s skin, her hair utterly unkempt as Jamie slides her hands in and pulls her close.

Dani on her back on the rumpled sheets, her breath coming in quick jabs as Jamie moves between bent knees. Dani, soaked through and crying out, her hips twisting as Jamie coaxes her along, each roll and swipe of her tongue a promise that this is what she’s been looking for. Dani in control is exquisite in a certain way--Dani bent over the table at work, Dani keeping composure even as Jamie buries herself deep, makes the world hot and heady and surprising. But Dani like this--Dani as no one else is allowed to see her, Dani shifting beneath her and pushing hard against her mouth with her hands winding in the sheets--is something else entirely.

She wants to feel Dani lose control, wants to feel Dani surrender to this allowance she gives herself only when alone with Jamie. Three years now, and it’s still such a special occasion, Dani letting herself unbind all those ties holding her steady.

“You don’t have to be anyone with me,” Jamie has whispered on more than one occasion. “You don’t have to pretend.”

“Not,” Dani has said every time, a distance in her eyes Jamie wishes she could banish. “Not with you. Never with you.”

For everyone else goes unsaid. For everyone else, I have to. Jamie understands. Jamie can’t imagine what she’s been through, what she still goes through on days when the demons have sharpened their claws and come to call.

She pulls at Dani now, easing her up on her knees, guiding her back down onto Jamie’s lap. Hands at Dani’s hips, she urges her to rock, to slide a hand around Jamie’s neck and press her forehead into slick skin and give herself up to Jamie’s hand between them. It’s satisfying, how Dani sighs and arches, how Dani hisses when Jamie sucks a fresh mark into her neck. It’s satisfying, Dani’s hair plastered with sweat, her mouth a red smear as she kisses Jamie hard, her hips bucking as she rides plunging fingers.

Undone, thinks Jamie with an unbidden sense of pride. It’s the one thing Dani refuses to be most of the time, the one thing Dani seems to fear anyone thinking of her as. Undone. Untethered. Incapable of holding firm.

Here, in this bed, Jamie’s name on her lips, Jamie’s mouth on her skin, Jamie coaxing her toward a break, is the only time she allows it. The only time her discipline slips. Here, pushing Jamie down, holding her with a hand firm against her sternum, gazing down at her with lidded eyes as she bucks, writhes, comes with a long cry, is the only time she truly lets go.

It’s an art, the way Dani holds herself in front of others. An art, making sure no one can ever see what lurks behind her smile--be it demon or defense against a cruel world. It is, as art is meant to be, gorgeous to behold, fascinating in its clarity.

But this: Dani allowing herself to slide up the bed, to lower herself down over Jamie’s mouth, gripping the headboard with one hand and Jamie’s hair with the other, is something else entirely. Dani, allowing herself the slow climb, the roll of hips as her knees press into the pillow, as Jamie spreads her with tongue and hot want, is truly herself in these moments. Not haunted. Not poised. She is only taut muscle, trembling limb, breathy exuberance. She is only Jamie’s, the only way Jamie would ever ask her to be.

Three years down, who knows how many more to come, and there will be shadows. There will be things they cannot carry into the dark, and days neither feels strong enough to walk the road ahead. There will be times Dani’s control will feel like the only thing keeping her hand in Jamie’s, the only thing keeping her from abandoning this life they’ve built for the ease of terror. And there will be times like these--times in bedrooms and hotel rooms, times with Dani nodding off against her as a movie plays, times where Dani leans back and lets Jamie look beneath the bed for monsters. Times where she will walk with eyes closed into whatever garden Jamie leads her.

And on those days, she will look exactly as she does the morning after: Jamie’s shirt buttoned badly over bare skin, a mark peeking out from beneath the collar, her eyes tired and her hair wrecked. She will stumble out of the bedroom in search of coffee, find herself distracted by Jamie on the couch with slow kisses that feel like a challenge. There will be no rap at the door, no intrusion on the space built so carefully between them, and Jamie will feel as though there is nothing so close to equilibrium as Dani folded with her in the quiet of their living room, her fingers in Jamie’s hair, her lips tracing Jamie’s cheeks.

There is no version of Dani Clayton Jamie does not adore. No version of her--brave, frightened, miserable, thrilled--Jamie cannot love. She learned it early, and she learned it well: there is nothing Dani can be she isn’t uniquely designed to crave.

Still. This version, the one who sits astride her on the couch with hands cupping the back of her head, tilting Jamie backward until she meets laughing eyes. This version, bare-legged and moving in with slow deliberation as she bends and teases Jamie’s lips apart with soft curl of tongue. This version, sleepy and happy and warm as she molds her body to fit every curve of Jamie’s.

This one, this version of Dani shared with no one else, is a triumph. The truest art. Worthy only of Jamie’s unending gratitude.

She kisses, and allows herself to be kissed, and thinks there is no place Dani is better suited than right here.

#fanfiction #the haunting of bly manor #the haunting of bly manor spoilers #dani x jamie #jamie x dani #damie #control one-shots #here: an olive branch to make up for the last one #really I always intended this to be finished today #just turned out I needed a quick ficlet to warm up

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