#sorry doesn't always make it right

[possamble]

do you have any particular thoughts regarding marcille being a half-elf? its interesting to me considering the fact that she seems self-conscious about being a half-elf, but denies it when its brought up

i remember marcille looking visibly uncomfortable over laios simply asking her how old she is, which i think the only reason she might feel nervous about this is because it might reveal her as a half-elf to him.

she's never corrected anybody whose called her an elf either.

never mind the circumstances of the reveal, in which thistle goes on about how half-elves are inferior and accusing her of wanting to become full blooded elf, she seemed particularly upset like he struck a nerve-

i wish the half-elf thing was built upon more. also, underrated marcille line:

okay so i revisited this sequence just to make sure I could back myself up and it's just... man. there's a lot going on.

the first reaction we get from Marcille is this huge panel that takes up half of the page

she is viscerally affected. flushing to the tips of her ears with the intensity of it. and we see it again, a few pages later

so it might seem like she's embarrassed about it and lying to herself, but... I really think it's just that Thistle is accidentally hitting sore spots. If you really look at what he says to get these reactions

"you'll live out your entire life [...] and die that way too"

"a hundred years from now, nobody will be there"

Hear me out. I think, if he stuck to harping on about her inferiority without bringing up how terrifyingly long-lived she is, she wouldn't have been as bothered. But right now, Thistle is accidentally hitting all the marks on Marcille's deepest fears-- and this is after the Winged Lion promised her that her dreams could come true in an extremely vulnerable moment, so it also hits her slightly guilty conscience as well.

I do truly believe that Marcille isn't bothered about being a half-elf the way that people assume she'd be bothered by it. To her, the biggest problem with being a half-elf is that it's isolating.

On one hand, it's not hard to imagine why she'd distance herself from elves in the west. A lot of them can clock her as a half-elf on sight, unlike other races, and therefore she's always branded with this weird stigma of being Othered -- I would even say that she considers herself lucky for being born outside of elven culture instead of having to grow up in it. I mean, just... look at the way elves talk about her.

Skipping past the uncomfortable implication of what 'not tolerating the existence' of half-elves would actually entail, this is incredibly fucking annoying. You can see why she wouldn't want to be around elves much. You see a lot of Marcille reacting badly here, but honestly, almost all of it can be attributed to her freaking out that her bluff completely failed. She's honestly more paying attention to Izutsumi's footsteps and trying to coordinate an opportunity to escape.

And in the end, you see her built-up frustration at being asked if she wants to be a full-blooded elf like 2-3 times in a row.

Yeah, yeah, "the lady doth protest too much," and all. But we know Marcille. We know that she's a lot more embarrassed and horrendously unconvincing when she's being prodded about something she's actually self-conscious about.

Moving onto the flipside of things, it might seem weird that she "pretends" to be a full elf around other races, but it's not really that strange if you think about it. Again, people are weird about her being infertile or whatever, and a lots of them don't even know much about what sets half-elves apart from everyone else. I mean, look at how uncomfortable Laios is just asking her about it

and look at how exasperated and resigned she looks

And like... she's right. Where would that come up in normal conversation? Why would she go out of her way to tell them? She's functionally a normal elf to other races anyway -- got the ears, the abnormally long "childhood", and the huge mana capacity. Unless it's directly relevant or important for people to know, I don't think it's all that strange or indicative of insecurity that she prefers not to bother with it.

(This combined with her sense of being an "outsider" to elf culture also explains why she thinks elf superiority is embarrassing. She sees the way elves treat short-lived races from the "outsider" perspective nonetheless, and thinks it's obnoxious; especially more so because she usually has to play the elf around short-lived races and deal with the reputation of arrogance that elves have built up.)

The sad thing is, this all means that... she doesn't actually fit in anywhere. She doesn't like going out West much because of how elves treat her. But she's also an outsider in the continents she was born in, treated like this exotic long-lived alien choosing to live among short-lived races for some reason. She is always an outsider, the Other, no matter where she goes. Add in the fact that she'll live longer than literally anyone she knows, and it's honestly kind of heartbreaking.

And I think that's the crux of it. Marcille really doesn't act like she's at all self-conscious about being a half-elf because of any feelings of inferiority or being half-made or whatever. She considers herself a perfectly legitimate being and might even, in some ways, consider herself superior to normal elves because she's not blind with elf supremacy or whatever. (And whatever "elven biases" she displays, all of them are born more out of the fact that she's kind of bad at conceptualizing how other races age and mature compared to herself, not that she actually considers herself better or more mature simply for being an elf.)

I think that whatever self-consciousness Marcille has about being a half-elf is, instead, related to terror and loneliness. The reminder that it ensures she'll never truly belong anywhere for the rest of her very long life. The reminder that, in truth, even she's not actually sure how old she is by other races' standards (hence the discomfort when asked how old she is). She doesn't want to not be a half elf, or be a full elf or full tall-man-- in her ideal world, she's still a half-elf. She just gets to live out her life at the same pace with the people she loves and doesn't have to say goodbye again and again and again until she dies.

and one last very important panel, right after Mithrun tells her that all her desires would be devoured

In her ideal world, she's still a half-elf and reality magically starts marching at her pace. But failing that, the second best thing is that she's still a half-elf-- but one who is able to accept reality and let go of her fear.

(But the rest of the story pans out the way it does because, to Marcille, taking reality apart and reshaping it was less scary than simply and fully reconciling with it.)

[fromtheseventhhell]

People erasing Asha's attraction to/relationships with men because she's a non-conforming woman is very weird (i.e. homophobic and misogynistic)

[anothermonikan]

Ponee (It is half 3 in the morning)

[viiinz]

everyday I think about him (Ippolit Terentyev)

[swordheld]

how did u choose your username?

oh, this is a fun one!! i think i considered being swordtold at first, for that very ancient myth vibe of the sword being this narrative tool for adventure and structure and physical time, the parable being passed down through the centuries until it meddles into modern day rhetoric and ideology – a kind of fantastical tool, a spark of magic, of possibility.

i like the arc of the story of a place being physical / having it be held by time and hand alike, wearing with the years and having it become something different to each holder, each reader, each experience fantastical and individual.

having that kind of physicality to it; swordheld is the action of taking up and holding the sword yourself, choosing your own narrative, leading your own story. self-identity has always been something i struggle with (a novel concept i know, i know), so it felt right for this blog, since most of my older blogs before this one have been just me silently reblogging and never really posting anything myself, and i wanted this to be the change to that.

i've always had trouble wranging my social anxiety, esp. on the internet, and previously thought that keeping my words to myself helped keep the timeline cleaner, in a way, no messy thoughts for others to sort through, especially ones i believed no one would want to read anyway? but it never felt right, keeping myself apart from it all, esp. not in the way i so avidly enjoyed reading others' posts and additions, keeping their words close to my heart.

i wanted it to reflect that this was a space i was holding for myself? and i'm a little slow on the uptake sometimes, but this - this i think i got right. i love being here, on this blog, and the joy that it brings me. everyone else enjoying it too has been a wild ride that i never expected, and still surprises me, one that brings a little extra thrill to my heart whenever i think about it.

i had other urls that i liked, but i didn't want this blog to be tied directly to any of my fandom/story interests, since i wanted it to really just be a sort of archive of artistic inspiration and resource, like a little library or museum. i use them now as lil sideblogs of more niche interests now, which is rather lovely.

it hasn't always felt like it fit perfectly, the way that i'd like, but for some reason i can't think of really wanting to change it anytime soon. it feels mythic yet modern in a way that feels like puzzle pieces finally slotting into their place, something my own and inspirational to me, like a lantern i'm holding to make my way by. my own kind of light, if that makes sense – a star i know by name.

[rahabs]

The Tudors ran so Wulf Hall could shuffle awkwardly around reiterating the same tired old Tudor stereotypes while claiming to be something new.

[kissimirrit]

sometimes i think about how there's a route in shadow's game called "the miracle of love", where you do the dark missions up until meeting amy, then take the good route for the rest of the game—and i just really feel things for shadow. and in the ending when he goes over everything he did, he mentions how he had no reason to help amy, but did anyway, wording it in a way that implies he just wanted to. it's fucking called the miracle of love.

also there's a voiceline in team sonic racing where he says "you did okay, amy" in the gentlest fucking tone i have ever heard my god. and it's like the nicest thing he said to *any* of the characters in that game.

it's such a soft part of his characterization that kinda drives me nuts to think about sometimes.

[aquanutart]

After saving the land before them Zelda and link were tied and they need to sleep. So they went on there Horse to the Village to Link’s house. As Zelda was so happy she was also glad to know that all that had happened was all in the past.

Zelda was so happy to not be in the Castle trying to stay awake. Everything was fine now she was with Link. When they got about 4 hours away Zelda saw that there were some people out in the distance. She had not seen people in forever she said to link to set up camp for the night and she would go talk to the people and she would come back with some food so they could cook.

Link looked at the people in concern I will be fine just go set up camp he nodded his head. Zelda loved to see the blue sky and the birds and the sway of the grass she never wanted to it to end. When she started talking to the people they were a little of but she just thought that they were excited to see her they just offered bananas to her. All at once she remembered that Link told her about a Yiga clans they would look like a normal person but they were not.

she screamed “Link” he came running at full speed and right on time the Yiga clan members were not the week kind but the much harder to kill ones. One did have a bow though Link killed the one with a sword first but the one with a bow was so fast Link told Zelda to run back to camp she didn’t want to leave him alone but she went behind a big rocks and hid.

Zelda Hurd nothing but a sweet sound of a little bird chirping in the distance. Then she heard a scream it sounded like a link she ran all the way to him the Yiga was not dead but it retreated because it has fulfill its duties. It had shot Link right in the chest with his bow 4 times he was wheezing and gasping for air. Link grabbed two of the arrows and pulled them out. Zelda squinted with fear she knew that it needed to be tended to right away. But all she had was bananas and a small cloth she was watching him grab the other two arrows and he was pulling them out. He Was in a great amount of pain. She tried to talk to him for the very first time she said “ we need to get you to a stable first but we then will rush to Hatnao village”. Link tried to speak but the pain took over.

“shh you need to save your strength right now” Zelda said. She could tell that he Was in A lot of pain. Blood started to turn his clothes red and Zelda new that she will need to hurry or he wouldn’t make it! she said to him can you get on the horse he said. I-can try-to get on…. She was getting so worried that he wouldn’t be able to make it. She helped him get on the horse and they started to ride.

after about an hour or so it started to get worse they were about 20 minutes away from the staple. And he fell off his horse Zelda jumped off and rushed to the side. He was Groaning with pain as much more blood came out. At this time he was as white as the cloud He was barely breathing and struggling when he was. They finally got to a stable she found some cloth and wiped off the wound with some water. He was wincing with pain she didn’t want it to be painful but she wanted to be clean.

she turned one of the horses in so they could ride together in and he can rest. Zelda did not notice how much blood he had Lost buddy was struggling because of the blood loss they were almost to the village about only 30 minutes away when it started to get worse blood was rushing out now and Zelda was worried. The time before his eyes were open but his eyes started the clothes slowly.

Zelda knew it had to be because of blood loss or was that the reason she turned around and stop the horse she put her hand to Link’s for head he had a very high fever. She knew that the fever was going to cause some pain and some discomfort but she knew she had to get to the village that was all of her concern. when she made it to the village people came running out of their houses link was not awake anymore so They took him to his house and laid him down on the bed. Zelda fell asleep on the bedside Well they tend to his wounds.

She was still very worried for him but than her friend pura came in she said check it her normal thing she looked at link and said what happened Zelda explain to the story as pura made some food on the stove for when he woke up and fore them of course. They talked for hours then Link woke up wai-r am I… don’t worry you’re in your house he fell back asleep after about 20 minutes he was obviously exhausted from blood loss and a fever. After he was all better and able to walk again I Zelda and him continue their adventures as one! The end. Thank you so much for your kindness and your help for your love and kindness always gives me energy.❤️❤️❤️ I just want to ask if you can draw like a little seen out of this you are such an inspiration to me 😊

Hello! Thank you for all your kind words!! I'm really happy if I can give you energy; thank you for all your kindness and positivity as well! I always see you tagging people just to say nice things to them; it's really sweet and always makes me smile! 😊😊💖

Thank you so much for sharing your story! I really enjoyed reading it!! I don't take requests, but I did imagine this based on your story! (I'm sorry if it's not exactly what you had in mind!)

[thatrandomlemononyourcounter1]

I CAVED AND WROTE A LAVACAKE FIC

it's basically just marella going over and finding fitz asleep (How unfitting for a Vacker)

[chirpsythismorning]

☎️🎲 🤼‍♂️ ✈️🚪 ➡️ 🫀🎮⌛️

The Promise by When In Rome

previous ⏪ now playing ⏩ next back to playlist

[sunshinedaysforever]

you know what, it was on me for expecting anything different from mr russell t 'all the information i ever need about anything happening in the world i get from the front page (and *only* the front page) of the guardian' davies but. the nuclear winter caused by *checks watch* No Piano really. really broke me.

[remyfire]

Unfortunately for everyone, I have been meditating on Big John. Please respect my privacy at this time.

[lucihens]

this a very unnecessarily philosophical, potentially verbose, written by a barely 20 odd year old with the mental age of a 10 year old whose innate logic comes directly from the autism gremlin in her mind take on tim bradford. you have been warned.

it's interesting that tim thinks he's been lying to himself and is mad at himself for seemingly actually being what he thinks he fundamentally isn't, rather than what he thinks or thought he was. but he doesn't understand that he can't be fundamentally anything in respect to action and nature. he can't define who he is as a whole as one clear cut, unchanging thing that he lives by for the rest of his life. because that's the complete opposite of what human nature is in my opinion. his personality may be consistent. but his nature never will be. because it changes. ALL THE TIME. pretty much everyday your processes change even a little bit with new information you gain. who you are now is not who you were last week. and while you may have a strict and specfic moral law in which determines the way you act in the long run, the decisions you make and the way you act (short term) depend on the moment. so tim is saying that what he did in the moment back in the army, and what he did in the moment dealing with ray, and what he did in the moment lying to IA, was him going against his code and who he thought he was, and that must therefore mean that who he has been consistently in the past was actually all a lie, was him pretending to be something he wasn't just because he did somethings 'out of character'. i don't think he can understand that being as strict and by the book as he is is not actually a sustainable human trait. because many instances call for many different reactions. but him setting such rigid guidelines he must follow so he can actually consider himself a good man, has set him up to fail again and again in respect to his feelings of self worth. setting such high standards for himself that he'll never be able to live up to has made it so easy for his self-belief to falter, teeter, and completely fall off the edge. confusing his personality with his nature has made it practically impossible to realise that his actions, if flawed, reckless and bringing negative consequences, don't make him fundamentally flawed. fundamentally wrong and screwed up. he doesn't realise that actions merely add to the portfolio of a person's life, good or bad, and despite the contents of his biography, he is still worthy of love. because he is not fundamentally flawed, or a fraud, but a man who regularly shows empathy, and loves anyway, despite being told (by others, but mainly himself) he won't experience the same in return.

[maddy-ferguson]

Is it just me or do some Bylers reach way too hard to defend Mike for things he was objectively wrong for? Like the rink o mania thing is a perfect example, Will was not being bitchy (onscreen) at all to Mike until the argument where Mike was the one who started it by blaming Will for not telling him about El’s problems. Mike was being a huge asshole there, which even he noticed and said Will didn’t deserve the way Mike treated him. He then apologized and Will accepted it because Will knows that Mike was genuinely remorseful and that he wanted to be best friends again. I hate to say this bc 99% of the time it is deeper than it looks but for this I just don’t get how you can watch and think Will was actually in the wrong.

i do enjoy a good reach and i get not wanting one character to be 100% in the right and one character to be 100% in the wrong in an argument and i don't even think mike was 100% in the wrong at rink o mania but when you back up a bit...what did will do wrong exactly lol.

do we agree with mike that he was a douche for...not telling him that el was being bullied? nonsensical. he didn't even know she was lying to him before the airport.

was he wrong for barely talking and basically sabotaging the whole day? a day el said was supposed to be about the two of them, making will third wheel and feel like shit just like in the beginning of season 3 and for months before that? right...because that makes sense.

was will in the wrong for not calling mike and for making it sound like it was his fault they didn't keep in touch? this one i can get behind but he would have let that go (the painting being a welcome gift doesn't scream resentful) had mike not made it clear that he wasn't interested in anything he had to say by...rejecting his hug, agreeing to the whole day being about him and el, ignoring him save for the vomit green joke, And not calling for months. if the first three hadn't occurred maybe will wouldn't have felt the need to defend himself when mike started a fight because he didn't tell him his gf was being bullied like he's their couples counselor or something

it's like you said mike literally starts the fight and then deflects (twice) and Then he apologizes...idk!

long-winded answer but how exactly was will being a dick lol. i know he apologizes for being mean to him and for pushing him away in the van scene but when exactly on march 22, 1986 was will mean to mike. i can see the pushing him away because he didn't call but he said he deserved the fight and admitted to being a jerk to el (literally HOW. when) and wouldn't let lucas apologize to him in season 3 so i'm not taking his self-deprecating martyr word for it SORRY

it's especially funny when you remember that mike trying to call will is a THEORY

[aeolianblues]

one last thing I will say on that topic. Americans getting upset about you calling out Zionism. When you're not talking about Judaism or in fact, about religion at all. When you're talking about a national military funded by a country that has been dropping bombs on the middle east since the 1980s. But then I suppose when people who are so so so comfortable with equating a whole religion, or further a whole entire group of multiple ethnicities, with simply 'terrorism', are criticised on any aspect of their wrongdoings of course they must think we're talking about their whole religion. Literally every word is a projection.

[sunnykeysmash]

something we have discussed is how dennis was the only one who could understand mac and that's great but can we also discuss how it must feel for mac that no one can understand him

this seems to be accentuated by how off he keeps being about things (offering of war/dennis being shot being "awesome"/being unable to read subtext both with dennis ["figure of speech"] and donald) and how much he's looking for a sense of meaning that he used to find in his identity until s15 made him realize how pointless it was (in a way that reminds me of his crisis in goes to hell 2...), but legacy, history, money and prizes are worth nothing if your heart is not in it.

and in a way I think dennis is coming to the same conclusion which is why he's the only one who can understand mac.

dennis "you're just being honest about how you feel" reynolds, so concerned with authenticity and upset by the perceived lies when it's just his own denial making it that way. that's building the biggest lie of all.

if we're looking for the Point, then the point is to have fun and embrace feelings. Big Mo already showed this.

it's interesting to me how it seems that mac and dennis are working off of each other in the way sunny works as a whole. because if mac is the structure and the text, and dennis is the subtext and the jokes (it's how he's trying to communicate in inflates but it's also the whole reason he comes with mac in madbu), they kinda NEED to be working together for the show to work... they need to find their harmonies, they can't just one or the other lead, they gotta have each other's back.

and also like, a small coda. this season deals so much with nostalgia vs how the past really was, there's so many flashbacks.

becoming aware of denial and reality can feel really upsetting but ultimately it's a positive development.

if "the hair is a lie" chopping off the head isn't the answer, that was the old way of doing things (in times of war... murder, betrayal, beheadings... "we figured out what works a long time ago"), but now we're looking for peace. basically, death isn't the answer. building your legacy doesn't have to be like pulling teeth. "this doesn't have to be a scam"

it's a good thing if we start seeing things for what they actually are, because it means less denial.