#sorry for whining

[ngc7009]

sometimes i wish i was better at drawing

[blood-and-pizza]

I am in a bit of anguish over the fact Scott seems to have changed Spring Bonnie's eye color. I loved the original green ones Adventure Spring Bonnie had. But in the movie, Spring Bonnie's original eye color was a bright blue, like Golden Freddy's one eye. It better shows the connection these two entities have.

In other words, even though I loved the green eyes so much, the blue ones are a better creative choice. Plus, this isn't the first time Scott Cawthon retconned something. He kinda throws things together, makes a retcon and prays nobody cares. I'm sorry I failed him.

I just thought the green eyes were cool...!

[arinavah]

hi arina! how are u doing? i've read your life update before about how you may not be able to do art stuffs due to life circumstances, seeing you open your shop now really brightens my heart! i'm also an artist in a kind of tough situation where i dont have much choice and might have to give up drawing or have difficulty continuing. im wondering how you got thru it? your art updates give me strength and hope! but if u dont feel like sharing, i totally understand. hoping you best and thank you!!

I'm sorry I'm answering this so late, talking about my current life always ruins my mood. (this will be a long whining post, I'm very upset right now so I need to speak out)

Probably we are in different situations, unlike you, drawing is the only thing I can do now. I've  mentioned here before that my grandma had a stroke this summer, my parents live in another city, they come here from time to time. Me and grandma live in Moscow, sooooo, generally, disabled grandma is MY responsibility most of the time. Even though she's making some slow progress in recovering, she's still mostly bed ridden, she can't take care of herself, she can't get up from the bed without help, she barely walks, etc., etc. So we can't leave her alone, and taking care about such helpless person, 24/7 IS HARD. She can wake us up several times at night to go to toilet or whatever, during the day she always wants something and we have to serve her, it really exhaustes me. (I half jokingly say that I unexpectedly became mother of 76 y.o. child, but I've always been child-free, so guess what I'm feeling right now)

Good news: I have some time to draw. To be honest drawing is the only sphere of my life I still can control, it's the only thing bringing me joy. And thankfully some people buy my merch so I can earn some money even in these circumstanses.

Bad news: I lost all freedom I'd had, I can't go anywhere without hiring nurse, I have much less time for work and drawing, I can't properly relax after long day, in fact I can NEVER relax, I can't meet with friends, I can't travel, I have to cancel work trips. Even simple mandane things became very difficult and even impossible because of all these restrictions. I can't find proper words to describe how those restrictions of my freedom make me depressed and devastated, right now my mental health is the worst it's ever been. I cry almost every day, I became hysterical and agressive, I hate my life so much, that the mere thought of spending the rest of my youth living my family's life, not MY OWN LIFE makes me want to kms. At the moment I control nothing in my life, I can't decide where to live, what to do, where to go, absolutely nothing. Probably I will never find a partner, because dating in these life contitions is impossible. Probably I will die alone without any love and friends. Maybe my only destiny is to take care of disabled person.

I'm trying to accept the fact that my life's ended, that I won't have any freedom and any new people around me till she passes away or till one of my parents will take full charge of taking care of her (it will happen in 5 years or so, they have work to finish in another city).

I spend my days solving my family's problems, my grandma's health problems, selling some merch to earn money and drawing some silly things just to ✨feel something✨.  So me being able to draw something in difficult circumstanses is not some heroic thing, I'm not overcoming myself to make art desprite everything, what I'm doing is just...escapism... I want to get lost in my little drawings or in little stories for some time to forget about everything bothering me. Honestly, I'm very happy that I haven't lost ability to draw after everything happened to me this year.

Guys.... sorry for whining, but 2022 ruined my mental state completely... Political situation (fucking Russia 💀💀💀), family situation, I just feel so much hatered for this world, for this universe where none of my dreams will ever come true, where I control nothing, where I have to live someone else's life, where I have no freedom, where I have to be silent, where I have to look at my government's crimes and be silent, where I can't  plan anything, where I can't love who I want (yesterday they accepted "lgbt propaganda" ban law), where I have to live the rest of my life in the country I hate, with a government I hate, isolated, lonely, constricted, attached to disabled person.

My parents keep telling me it's temporary, they don't want me to be a nurse for the rest of my life, everything is gonna be okay, they will solve everything. I don't believe them. Maybe I'm overdramatising, maybe if I get a therapy I'll feel better and less pessimistic about my future, but for now... I feel terrible. So, if drawing makes me feel a little bit better, then I'll continue to draw.

[yannysif]

Unfortunate timing yet again

Ahh, I wanted to make a little something involving Lucien for the O2A2 jam, but unfortunately, my mother got really sick and had to be hospitalized, and I was staying with her for the past few days, so I couldn't finish in time.

Thankfully she's alright now and we're back home, just seems tired and I'm keeping an eye her.

Really frustrated with myself that nothing I plan seems to be working out lately, being met with problems on every turn. I thought it'd be a fun thing to share with all of you but I'll have to scrap it now.

I'll still share the CG I made for it, tried really hard to finish in time but just couldn't make it, sorry I keep messing up with this 😭

It was going to be "Teatime with Lucien" with a little twist at the end. Also tried to do a lineless artstyle just to try out, I think it looks quite nice but it was a pain to actually do it 🥲

I even had a plan to jump from this to an update for the main game in time for my birthday and everything but now it's in shambles, I feel like I need to take a short break from everything so I'll step away from all social media for a bit, I hope that's ok.

[rhettabbotts]

how the hell do y'all write so many words and its always beautiful. i'm struggling to write and i cant even get to 500 words im going to scream.

[evolutionsvoid]

I have to say, having taken a trip to Iceland over the summer, I would have thought that the amazing sights and food would be the main thing that stuck with me, and not so much the haunted feeling that there is something so wrong with me that people are repulsed by my presence before I even do anything. Loved the glaciers, the whales and all that stuff, but really wish the major thing that immediately came to mind when thinking about that trip wasn't an entire tour group rejecting me within hours.

[heiiocoie]

guusy ive taken ibuprofen AND pamperine and these crsmps are stilll soo abd doe snayone know how to srop them 🙁

[insane-eli]

and i'm truly sorry for what we have done

[clingyduoapologist]

Tens of thousands of years of medical science, yet those bitches still can’t make medicine that tastes good

[sunjoys]

my friends are FINALLY free for the summer (after ive spent 2 months wasting away waiting for them) and of course my work decides its the perfect time for me to go from 2 days of work every week to FOUR............ sick of this.

[timstolejasonscorpseagain]

I miss drawing, i miss writing and creating, I miss having the energy to do big or lengthy illustrations I miss being able to write 50k+ works

I miss when i could doodle all the time so much so that a few weeks ended up w blocks of paper thicker and taller than my hand

I got a sketchbook in summer and still to this day it has 4 drawings in it, only 3 of them coloured. I miss being able to doodle on my phone and draw stuff for my friends and myself.

I miss having the energy to do so. If you dont lose em you lose them, my skills. I can't remember the last time i did a large illustration that took time and that I was satisfied with. I wish i could keep going and try harder work harder on my art whenever i feel unsatisfied and full of hate for it and i wish i could love my art with its imperfections. I wish i could love my writings and not see nothing but cognitive error. I wish i could just do stuff i used to love and that i still want to without feeling exhausted or angry and frustrated that it doesn't look or sound right and i dont understand why

I miss creativity

[marierg]

Sorry for the Delay all!

Every time I go back to edit this section I feel like there's a little green grandmaster hanging over my shoulder correcting my grammar:

Yoda: Missed a comma you did

me: yes master

Yoda: Respell that you should as well

Me: (proceededes to bang head on desk) Gaarrarararhhhhhh!!!!

Yoda: Hmmmmm Learn you will young one!

Last chapter of this section of the story coming soon.

[missginger82]

I love the sims with my whole heart, it is my comfort place since the first game, its so tight connected with my childhood, and even if I know not everything is perfect and okay it's my happy pill.. But I still feel detached from those new packs we get thrown at - I'm sure it's beautiful worlds and ppl will play it, but they feel insignificant, boring even.

I don't care about horses bc this feels like something that was already there (or should be already included in another pack), I don't need another dessert-like, american inspired world.. Why can't we get a crowded citie inspired by Amsterdam or Paris or London or Rome or something European?

Don't get me wrong, I'm sure this new pack will be beautiful as always, but I miss diversity, the last releases are too similar for me and I'm bored of American suburbs or desserts..

[viking-raider]

There's one thing I hate about being a writer. (Really there's many, but this one is bothering me the most)

I've been sucked into this adventure story my muse has decided we're writing. Like, we're so fucking entuned with this story. I think the last one I was this absorbed in was perhaps...Hill Manor, with all the background history and accuracy to the Pendle Witches.

But this story, has archaeology, ancient civilizations involved, one I have to create on top of it! It's adventure, mystery, romance etc.

However, I'm terrified that it won't get off the ground. Esp, since the Henry fandom is in a bit of a spot. (We won't go into that! plz)

Though, I know I'll still funnel all of my energy and writing talent into it, then post it and my amazing followers will read it and give me the love they also do, even if it's only a few dozen notes. It's who I am and the appreciation I feel from you guys is what keeps me going and posting.

We'll see how this fic goes, shall we? Lmao.

[just-two-blokes]

How I am trying to enjoy the last days of my holidays after

spending the whole last day in bed because of ✨period pain✨ that was so severe, I couldn't even sit in a chair, let alone stand up or go for a walk. (edit: Seems like I can't get out of bed today as well, because everything still hurts).

having some kind of gender identity crisis and going from 'I want to dress like that, yes that's awesome' to 'god, no.. I feel like I'm not being myself' within seconds and then thinking I'm probably making this all up and creating a problem where there is none. (There is probably something not right, otherwise I wouldn't have these kinds of thoughts but.. lets.. let's ignore it until I can't ignore it anymore).

literally getting sick, having a sore throat and just wanting to sleep.

I'm sorry for whining, at least I do have holidays.. But it has just been a lot the past days and I had the hope that I could just relax and take a breather. Which.. I managed.. but this.. is a lot.

[darauwu]

Archangel’s Resurrection. Blurb when? Blurb where? Blurb who?