#sorry i know that's kind of cheating

[modmad]

TPoH: Update!

Sorry for the LONG delay due to catching covid. I am still recovering from it, so I do not know if I will be updating weekly again yet but I will post the comic whenever I can. Thank you all so much for your support and kindness during this time!

Read TPoH from the start here.

Update here on the TPoH website!

Thank you all  for the kind and loving support! If you want to buy books of this comic YOU CAN! Volumes one and two AND THREE are now in stock and you can get even more books in the form of TPatJ and Unbecoming! Find them and more here in the TPoH Topatoco shop right here, or tell your friends about it! There are also always lots of my doodles to buy on nice stuff in my Society6 merch box too!

If you like TPoH and my other work and want to help keep a soul and body together monetarily, please consider supporting me on Patreon, even just one or two dollars a month helps!

[random-autie-fangirl]

Shoutout to a bunch of voices crushing on the Razor

Voice of the Broken: She doesn't want us. Voice of the Contrarian: You're just saying that because you want her to be into you. Voice of the Broken: I know. I thought I was being obvious.

Voice of the Paranoid: Maybe it'll work! Maybe it'll throw her off. I know I'd be thrown off if she started flirting with us. Voice of the Contrarian: Yeah, because you'd be into it. Voice of the Paranoid: No comment.

Voice of the Stubborn: I'm into it. Voice of the Cheated: I can't say I mind either. If it weren't for all the cheating, I'd say she's pretty cute.

Bonus:

Hero doesn't know if he's into the Razor

[nerves-nebula]

Always got the vibe that Scott pilgrim wasn’t gonna be for me but I’m watching the new anime rn and thats made me look into some of the original stuff (movie and comics) that follow the main plot and. Hm. I can’t tell if all this stuff is racist or not. I feel like I don’t have enough context cuz i cant be fucked but it’s setting off my “multiple stereotypes detected” radar and my “maybe look into this to see what asians have to say about it” senses. Is Matthew the only brown character in this series?

[magisterhego]

What did you think about Behlül’s relationships with Bihter and Nihal? Did he love either of them? Did either of them love him?

I think he did actually love both of them, but in his own way. He seems to have a tendency to have a great big romance that he quickly burns out and rinse and repeat with the next person he fancies.

As to whether he was loved, I'd say yes by both, but also in a limited way. I think he's kind of like the high school crush of a girl from a very small town, where the girl wants to date someone mostly because she thinks it's exciting at that age. And so her crush toward the guy develops more out of her daily life having a very limited pool of potential boyfriends, than out of any wow moment of attraction to that guy in particular.

For Bihter, I think she would have equally fallen for a different person who was young, handsome and charming, and consistently close at hand to observe.

But I don't know if she'd have slept with anyone who was not so casual as Behlül. His cheerful lack of morals and friendly persistence surely helped a bit to remove some mental barriers in her mind. With someone less happy-go-lucky, she'd maybe just have had lovesickness and stayed at that as a 'noble' kind of compromise between cheating and withering without experiencing real love.

There is a word I can't quite translate, 'prepustiti se' (to let yourself go, to abandon yourself to a feeling/situation, can be have positive or negative connotations), which I feel works for both Bihter and Nihal's feelings to Behlül.

They were first pursued by him and they seem to have almost purposefully convinced themselves into loving him. Both were lonely and desperate in different ways.

Bihter was in an unhappy marriage, I don't think I need to elaborate too much as she herself describes it all in a self-aware way in the novel.

As to Nihal, she was frankly somewhat neglected by her family. Yes, she's otherwise "spoiled", but they made huge decisions to remove her brother, and her governess, and her kitchen buddies, and didn't even tell her until the very moment it had already happened! Extremely frustrating and scary for such an already isolated girl. She lived from day to day not knowing who she could lose next, no wonder she got all emo.

So when the situation came that everyone was suddenly eager to marry her to a guy - one she already knew and trusted and casually bantered with - I think half of the appeal would be a young girl's physical attraction to Behlül as a man, but the other half would be the idea of finally keeping someone for herself (because her family couldn't very well decide to whoosh away her husband on a whim, lol). I can see why she'd accept the situation.

[thedreadvampy]

I tried listening to Olivia Rodrigo and I'm sure this is really good for its target audience of Teen Girls Going Through A Breakup but has she actually ever put out a song that isn't about a guy cheating, breaking up with her and moving on to someone else?

like babe he's not coming back it's been 2 years you gotta find something else in your life

[yourqueenb]

I'm not going to lie, TBBaby is so far the first book from PB that I feel such loathing for that I can't read a chapter (I've read 2 and will probably watch screenshots of the rest) - even TNA didn't turn me off like that. I think it's because the MC (and the writers) focus so hard on idealizing LI (In my game is man) just by his appearance - not what a rotten person he is. It seems to me that Daphne's behavior (over-controlling, for example) is due to this very reason. You won't tell me that someone who professes affection and kisses a girl he met on the same day with such ease (while in a relationship) hasn't done it before. In marital problems, the fault usually lies on 2 sides, and you can clearly guess that the "crystal" LI also has a lot on his conscience. But no one will ever say that in this kind of stories. What do you think?

‼️‼️‼️ I wholeheartedly agree with you anon. I think I said something vaguely along those lines in one of my posts about it. Like I’m sorry, but I refuse to believe that Cole or Sam or any other copy and pasted LI they use in these types of books is perfect and their wife/fiancée/etc. is just this awful dragon of a woman who they can’t escape. That’s not how logic works. And it’s not good storytelling. The characters lives didn’t start only when the book did. And our MCs can’t determine all the dynamics of their relationships after 2 interactions.

No wonder Daphne called screaming in the first chapter. And no wonder her mother gave Cole the third degree when we got to the mansion. I hate how PB tries to portray these women as crazy and overbearing, even more so because they use our MCs to do it. What those interactions actually show is that the LI most likely has a pattern of behavior that is causing them to react in those ways. As you said, no one in a relationship would behave the way Cole did upon first meeting MC and in that guitar playing scene if they haven’t already done it before. I don’t care how great the attraction is. And the fact that Cole steamrolled Daphne in the decision to make MC their surrogate has so many gross implications. To me it looks like he just wanted to get MC in their house no matter what.

Also, you can’t tell me that he’s trapped in this marriage with Daphne or that he even had to marry her to begin with. Cole is a young, attractive billionaire. I highly doubt it was a struggle to find a desirable woman who wanted to have kids before marrying Daphne, even if there was no Bytech and no fortune yet. Idc what excuse PB tries to come up with. And that was my problem with Sam in TNA. The excuses just don’t hold up when you consider how these people are characterized. Sam was grown, had been married before, and was way beyond financially stable. There was no reason for him to be pissing his pants about telling Mason Sr. he didn’t want to marry Sofia or for him to be worried about leaving a legacy for the twins. It’s lazy plain and simple

[catharusustulatus]

Imagine Steve’s mom does run the dog salon in town, she inherited it from Steve’s grandma in a Petco type deal, and she’s great at it, ties ribbons around the dog’s collars when they’re done, has a knack for flair.

His dad is always away at some “conference” doing insurance shit or back room deals, Steve doesn’t really know. But he and his mom both know what his dad is doing after the conferences are over, and it’s driving them both crazy. Driving Steve’s mom into the ground, knowing her husband is never home and when he is he’s getting ready to leave. Steve and his mom look alike, hazel eyes and coifed auburn hair and covered in freckles and moles. And they know Steve’s dad can’t stand it. They know beauty isn’t enough.

His mom is always half drunk on wine, sharing gossip with whoever comes in on her shifts and Steve ends up finding her at the bar down the street after work, and has to tuck her into bed before she passes out god knows where. And he sleeps downstairs or at Robin’s house, because his house is just the hole of his missing father and the shadow his mom is becoming, beautiful lipstick and red nails and making him scrambled eggs but also popping pills and never eating the eggs herself. Her hair is always perfect. Her makeup is always perfect. She goes to Church, grooms Father’s terriers for free.

Just like the hair and the freckles, Steve inherits the gossip, but it’s different hearing about his mother from people returning VHS tapes. “Saw her at the grocery store, she seemed sad. Your dad home yet?” Some guy asks while sliding Top Gun across the counter. It’s an open secret, at this point. All Steve can muster up is “Uh yeah, um. He should be back this weekend,” before he has to cry in the stock room.

[sammygender]

‘they didn’t have the concept of mental illness back in the day so that’s why so many people claimed they could talk to god/had life altering visions/believed in witchcraft’ have you considered that maybe the lack of current magic in our world is due to the psychiatric system’s well-meaning inability to differentiate between life-threatening delusions & whimsy/possible spiritual insight

[brekkie-e]

Cowards being too scared to hate Kaiden these days is a real shame ngl

[mourningmaybells]

sorry for going mask off as someone who watched Grey's Anatomy a lot. at least until s2 went downhill. do u still think im hot

edit: i watched at least up until s4. rip

[jvzebel-x]

🦋

[elytrafemme]

i think i could write several essays on how being in a queer friend group has both positively and negatively impacted my relationship (particularly with someone also in that queer friend group) but it’s such a hard matter to articulate. i just think it’s interesting, though.

i think it goes understated because in a global sense it doesn’t really matter, but there is something to be said about the social effects (especially in like a high school environment) with people constantly thinking you’re dating your friends, while you’re dating someone else and none of your friends. i’m in this position where everyone is shocked my girlfriend is who she is but i have friends who i hold hands with in the halls or i am actively tugged into hugs with like all the time, friends who follow me like a shadow etc. 

and there’s nothing inherently wrong with these things but i do think it kind of shapes the way you view relationships. for me i feel like there is more freedom in me balancing my romantic and platonic relationships in this situation, and also i have had to more intentionally think out what differentiates my interactions with a friend vs my girlfriend and that has strengthened my affections.

but also this social perspective can sometimes be hard to grasp and you know in my shoes in particular, i don’t speak for other people, but there is a certain level of pressure and anxiety that comes from queer friend groups where you almost have to be an example and also feel like you can’t be as gay around your partner because you don’t want to come off exclusionary? it’s weird to explain but i’m sure someone gets it where it’s like the polycule instinct because everyone wants to kiss each other but only two people really want to kiss each other but then why should THEY be the ones doing it just. etc.

[lilywhisperer]

Super random question, do you speak any other languages? Just curious, I guess.

Oh yeah ! I speak Brazilian Portuguese fluently (mother language), a bit of Spanish, English (duh Leeway) and know some words in German ! (i.e. Krankenhaus, Schmetterling and Sitzplinter !)

[entropys]

im gonna vent a little bc im about to explode ok. so . tomorrow i have a presentation for a group project that i kid you not the people im paired with did not do shit! they’re terrible i explained to them in detail like 3 times and they still don’t get it!!!!! like. its so easy sooo easyyyyyy idk why they don’t even want to TRY like im gonna rip my hair off i can’t do this i can’t deal with them sick and tired of being a “leader” (cause apparently i am a natural born leader) like what is wrong with them do they just love to see me suffer and write all the parts myself ???? and even if i did that they will still present it wrong and mess up everything i’ve worked for so i’ve given up fuck this group project btw! i can’t do this anymore .. like imagine explaining something so patiently step by step and they come back to you with a copy paste paragraph from WIKIPEDIA that has nothing to do with what you assigned them 😭😭 im not joking this actually happened and they gave it to me the night before the presentation too like wtf am i supposed to do with this??????? i hate people who don’t give a single shit about their grades when it comes to group projects idc if u get an F in all your classes I DO NOT CARE but when your grade affects other people too maybe have some human decency and do the work you’re supposed to do.. like just try even if its terrible just fucking TRY its not that hard

[musicrunsthroughmysoul]

As I was listening to 'Til Tuesday (if you could not tell) on my way to work and on my walk home today, I realized that Aimee Mann's approach to her songwriting (lyric writing) in 'Til Tuesday is very much of a corrective nature. It really feels to me like she writes (at least in 'Til Tuesday; I've heard all of their studio albums) from men's perspectives in a lot of cases to/about women as a way to correct how misogynistic men have written about women in songs forever. And like...when I listen to "Angels Never Fall" off of Welcome Home (1986) especially, it's an idea to think of her songwriting as queer (I want to, tbh), but at the same time, I really just hear a straight woman writing about how she wants/would want to be treated and considered by men - it's like her songwriting (in those instances) are for/to say that women don't have to be perfect to be respected, as people and as love interests. And that's one reason I love her songwriting, and 'Til Tuesday's work (besides that they're just excellent as a band in general - THIS IS NOT JUST THE AIMEE SHOW, THANK YOU), so much.

[inkoutsidethelines]

Thinking about how I would write an adult Scooby-Doo series, because I think it can be done.

The first thing I’d do is make the characters actually be adults.  Still young, but adults, in the mid to late 20s range.  Mystery Inc. is a private detective type business that they run together.  In this universe, the supernatural/ghosts/etc are real, but not necessarily common, so when they take on a case, the culprit might be a person disguised as a monster, or it might actually be a real ghost.  The stakes can be higher; sometimes a bad guy is legitimately trying to kill them.  Sometimes the mystery they’re trying to solve is a murder.  Sometimes they actually get hurt on their cases.

Fred: the core of Fred’s character should be that he’s incredibly kind.  Like, give a stranger the shirt off his back kind.  The “Fred can’t talk to potential clients because he might take a case for free and we need to eat” kind.  He’s an honest and good person and sometimes gets himself into trouble because he assumes other people are too.  While he’s not very good at reading people or noticing ulterior motives, he’s brilliant when it comes to mechanical or engineering type stuff, so he’s the one who keeps the mystery machine running, builds their gadgets, and of course, designs the traps.

Daphne: she comes from old money, and her parents absolutely despise her life choices, to the point where they haven’t officially disowned her, but they have basically cut her off, so she doesn’t actually have access to any family money.  Growing up wealthy has granted her a variety of skills, including speaking multiple languages, horseback riding, and fencing.  She’s very into fashion and jewelry (even if she can’t afford it anymore) and has extensive knowledge of both that can occasionally provide a vital clue in a case. And even though her parents have cut her off, Daphne still has a wide network of contacts she can ask for favors sometimes, because she’s personable, and people tend to like her.  Daphne is also very emotionally intelligent, and is usually the one who can spot when someone is lying to them.

Side note - I ship Fred and Daphne, so I think I would start them off as an established couple for this universe.  Dating, engaged, married, I don’t care.  They are stupidly in love, ride or die for each other.  There’s no will they, won’t they, no worries about cheating.  They are in a healthy, happy, loving relationship, and no one (not even Daphne’s disapproving parents) are going to mess that up for them.

Velma: she is the forensics nerd who sometimes gets super excited about the wrong thing at the wrong time (”He was mummified in seconds? That’s so cool!” “Velma!  His wife is standing right there!” “Oh.  Sorry.”).  She’s not purposely insensitive, she just gets laser focused on her work and forgets to filter herself sometimes.  She’s also the one who can get so fixated on solving whatever mystery they’re working on, she’s willing to bend or maybe break laws.  Is breaking and entering really so bad?  Not if it gets them answers.

Shaggy: he is still the comic relief, but he’s the comic relief by being the only person in the group that actually has common sense.  He manages the business’s finances, he’s the only one who knows how to cook, and the others tease him for being a coward sometimes, but Shaggy maintains that if a ghost with an axe is coming for you, running is the only sensible option.  He should also have a range of random knowledge that sounds useless, but sometimes saves the day (ex ventriloquism, origami, the history of spoons, etc).

Scooby: as this is a universe where supernatural creatures exist, Scooby is an ancient eldritch type being that took a shine to Shaggy when he was a kid, and took the form of a talking dog to befriend and hang out with him.  Aside from the talking dog bit and not aging, he never uses his powers in a way that anyone notices.  The audience is not told upfront that Scooby is an ancient eldritch being; it should slowly be hinted at throughout the series so the audience put it together, but the characters never realize it.  Scooby genuinely considers Shaggy to be his best friend, and cares about the rest of the gang too.