#sorry i was obsessed with that scene for like a year straight

[attleboy]

the people in the tags of my last post saying pomni should kill and maim... hehehe i'm being enabled.... :))))

[bunnyywritings]

extra credit assignment with the professor and honey bunny

PROFESSOR STEIN x F!READER

[a/n: sorry sorry! i'm falling behind...my motivation is waning BUT i am determined to finish this series so here's what should've been posted yesterday on my birthday ! professor stein will always be so fucking hot in my eyes...he can tie me down and dissect me any day lol anyways, once again: my use of the term 'little' has nothing to do with any body size or weight, this fic is also a little more on the 'plus size reader' side, sorry it just came out that way, i also dropped the ball and made him an ethics teacher instead of a bio/chem teacher like i originally thought...i blame @gojonanami and her amazing professor suguru series...i'm obsessed !!🫶🏼]

© bunnyywritings pls don't use my headers or writing without permission

wc: 3.1k words

WARNINGS: teacher/student dynamic (OF AGE), power dynamic, age gap, "shy" reader, skewed descriptions of ethics cause i googled and read like two things, sir kink, hair pulling, cowgirl, stein bends you over his desk, mating press, breeding kink, creampie, no use of y/n, reader is called: bunny, sweetheart, good girl, sweet girl, honey

“You need my measurements?” You asked, not sure if you heard him right. “What for?” 

“Well for your outfit, of course.” He chuckled, finding it amusing that you had already forgotten what the two of you had spoken about.Especially when your confusion led to a small lull of silence on the line. 

“Oh…oh right! Right, the whole school girl thing…uh okay-” You rattled them out and he wrote them down, scrolling through the website on his laptop to try and find the right look for you. 

When you two finally met, you were pleased with the tasteful outfit he had chosen. It looked like a legitimate look you’d wear to school. The light brown plaid skirt was paired with a white button up, a knit sweater vest, sheer pantyhose and brown loafers. 

He was sat behind a gorgeous mahogany desk, a small smile on his lips. “Have you ever done a scene like this?” You were flicking through the short script he had given you…more of a guideline really. 

“Uhmm n-no, not as in depth as this or with a partner. I did it for a live cam once…” You blushed, feeling somewhat insecure beneath his gaze. 

Stein was one of the more seasoned creators on the platform. His production quality was always high and his scenes balanced with both porn and plot. He was also extremely attractive. His dyed silver locks framed his face beautifully, his eyes reminded you of green sea glass as they sat behind his silver eyewear and his build…God. He was tall and lean with broad shoulders and thick arms. His hands were big, lithe fingers just the right amount of thickness, knuckles prominent against his smooth, pale skin. 

Not to mention the age gap between the two of you…the power dynamic was going to be a little more believable when he was 14 years older than you. 

“You ready, sweetheart?” 

“Mhmm, yes…Professor.” 

And so, you stepped out of his office. Standing at the door for a good minute or two before rapping your knuckles against the shining wood. 

“Come in!” His voice was muffled but you took your cue and pushed the door open, making sure to shut it softly behind you. “Ah, bunny! Come on in, have a seat.” He gestured to the cushioned seat in front of his desk. His smile was soft as you stood by the door for a few moments before finally moving. 

“R-Right. Thank you, P-Professor.” You gingerly sat in the seat, back straight and stiff as you tugged the hem of your skirt. 

“So, what brings you to my office hours, hmm?” 

“Uhm well, I-I hate to admit it but I’ve been h-having a little trouble with our uhm, our new unit…” 

“Oh! Well, no need to be embarrassed, Kantism is a challenging subject. What exactly were you having trouble with?” 

“Categorical imperatives…” You shift your eyes away, cheeks flushing. 

“I see…well-” He starts to ramble on with the definition, rubbing his chin as he did so and you found it difficult to not stare at his fingers. “-does that make sense?” 

You blink yourself out of your daze before nodding, “I-I’m following.” 

A subtle smirk tugs his lips as he continues. “Kant also says that there are three different moral actions-” You wring your hands in your lap, playing up the nervous, jumpy act. As he continues to explain how utilitarianism plays a part in this subject, you tune back in. “That should be a bit more clarifying for you.” You nodded eagerly. “Did you have any other questions? Kant or otherwise?” 

“Y-yes actually.” You bit your lip, eyes widening as you clarified. “Not-not about Kant! I uhm…I was hoping to ask about some…extra credit opportunities?” He frowned, head tilting to the side. “My uhm, my grade isn’t where I-I’d like it to be…” You trailed off, eyes dropping to read the name placard displayed on his desk. He turns to his laptop, ‘typing and scrolling’ before the tension in his forehead releases. “Ah, a B- isn’t so bad, is it?” 

“W-Well no but I…I would like to keep my grade point average and grad-graduate summa cum laude…” 

“Hmm right, right…an understandable goal.” He closed his laptop, adjusting his glasses on the bridge of his nose. “Has my unit been so difficult that you’re falling behind? Is everything alright?” The slight twinge of concern in his voice made your thighs clench. Something that did not go unnoticed. 

“I’m sorry, Professor. I just seem to be dis-distracted…lately.” Your confession leaves him amused and you with bright, flushed cheeks. 

“Distracted?” He leans forward, elbows resting on the top of the desk, his chin in his palm. “I see…is it a boy, perhaps?” 

“N-No!” You grip the fabric of your skirt. “No…I uhm-I’m not seeing any-anyone.” 

His eyebrows jump. “Really? Forgive me for saying so but, surely you have boys throwing themselves at you?” 

A quiet, almost nervous laugh leaves your lips. “Yeah…n-no. Not that I’d really want the attention from guys here…guys my age, they uhm…well, they tend to be vulgar and simple minded.” 

“Hmm, yes, I suppose you’re right.” A silence lingers after his words. “A pretty, intelligent little thing like you should be treated with reverence.” 

Your eyes widen to the size of saucers, squeaking out a, “Professor…” 

“Ah right, forgive me. That was highly inappropriate”. He sighed. “So, extra credit…I usually don’t make it a habit to offer it, since students use it as an excuse to lag behind-” He catched how your lips drop into a pout, eyes glistening with unspoken pleas. “But, if you tell me what’s been so distracting as of late, maybe we can come up with a solution to help you out, hmm? You’re a bright student and I’d hate to be the reason you lose your sheen.” 

You shake your head with earnest. That’s the worst thing you could do…how could you possibly tell him that-

“There’s no need to be shy, hmm? We’re both adults here and I’ve been teaching for years, I’m sure I can stomach it.” 

You mumble out a reason, as quiet and jumbled as you could, hoping to God that he’d give up and drop the subject. Your eyes trained in your lap in fear that you might give it away. Your deepest, darkest, secret…

He stands, rounding the desk and leaning on the edge of it. Gently but firmly, he grips your chin and forces you to meet his gaze. “I’m sorry, dear. I didn’t quite catch that…” His thumb caressed the skin below your bottom lip and you had to fight the urge to tilt your head down and take his digit between your lips. 

“S’you…s-sir.”

“I’m sorry, come again?” 

“It’s you, s-sir!” And oh, the way your lips wrapped around the honorific made his dick twitch against his slacks. 

“Is that right?” He felt like a fox playing with his dinner, the way your wide eyes stared up into his, begging to be devoured whole. 

“Y-yes…” 

He gripped your chin tighter, ignoring the whine that left your throat as he growled a hoarse. “Yes, what?”

“Yes sir!” 

“Hmm good…” He sneered. “What exactly is it about me that’s so distracting?” He hummed, removing his hand from your chin, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“Y-You can’t ask-ask me something like that…”

He chuckled, “Of course I can…and I expect an answer.” His eyes darkened lustfully. “So tell me, bunny. What’s distracting?” 

You fidgeted in your seat, fingers clenching the fabric of your skirt again. “Uhm…y-your voice…your hands-” 

He found it hard to resist a scoffed laugh and in the blink of an eye he stood behind you, leaned over just above your shoulder. “You like my voice?” His lips brushed against the shell of your ear, his silky voice sending shivers down your spine and a rush of heat to your core. “Do you rewatch my lectures when you’re in your room? Touch that pretty pussy to the sound of my voice, hmm?” His lips pressed a feather light kiss behind your ear as you whined and as he trailed down your neck, the messier they got. His lips were surprisingly soft, massaging the sensitive skin at the hollow of your neck. 

You tilted your head back against his shoulder, opening yourself up to him. “Why don’t you show me.” He reached around the sides of the chair and roughly gripped your thighs watching as your flesh squished between his fingers, splitting your legs open for him and before you could even think to protest, a loud rip! filled the office. He had torn the crotch of your sheer pantyhose to reveal your soaked panties. “Is this all for me? You’re soaked…” He tsked, pushing your panties aside and tugging your folds open, caressing your pulsing clit with barely there touches. 

“Mhmm, all-all for you, sir…s’yours, all yours.” You keened at his gentle touches, hips twitching and desperate for more friction. 

“Then be a good girl and show me how you touch yourself to my voice.” You replaced your hands with his, starting to circle your bud in slow, soft circles, a drawn out moan leaving your glossed lips. 

“Good girl…” He purred. “Now suck on my fingers, show me how much you love my hands…that’s it.”

You wrapped your lips around his fingers, tongue swirling around his cold digits in earnest before taking them deeper into your mouth, gagging softly when his fingertips met the back of your throat before pulling back and taking them back in.

As you began to bob your head on his fingers, he couldn’t help pawing himself through the front of his gray slacks. His precum, no doubt staining the front of the fabric. “Oh look at you! Such a shy and prude girl, getting herself off while choking on her Professor’s fingers…fuck.” Your thighs twitched as you neared your first orgasm, sucking on his fingers bringing you more arousal than you thought possible. 

“Don’t even think about it.” He almost snarled, shoving his fingers roughly to the back of your throat. Your shoulders jolting as a particularly harsh gag wracked through your body. “Put your hands by your side.” Reluctantly, you did as instructed and he pulled his fingers from your mouth, giving your poor lungs a reprieve. 

As you attempted to catch your breath, he wrapped your hair around his fingers and pulled roughly, the action pulling you up from your seat before he was shoving you towards his desk. “Ahh! P-Professor!” With his fist still tugging at your locks, he bent you over and pushed your head down against the desk, your cheek landing harshly on a notebook and a few stray papers. 

“I’ve got to say…you’ve been quite the distraction as well. Always sitting in the front of my class, chewing on your lips or your pens-” He unbuckled his belt, popping his trousers open and letting them drop down around his thighs. “Always in your cute little outfits and short skirts.” He flipped your skirt over your ass. “I’ve dreamed of having you bent over my desk, creaming all over my cock.” He stroked himself a few times before tapping his heavy tip against your stocking covered ass. 

Not being able to help it, you wiggle your hips tauntingly. He groaned, “Oh just look at you…” He muttered before grasping the base of his cock and lining himself up with your entrance.

Your nails dug into the wood of the desk as he pushed himself in. Entranced with the way you seemed to be sucking him in, inch by agonizing inch, your poor pussy being stretched to accommodate his girth. You tried to push yourself further up the desk in an attempt to get respite from his sweltering length. 

“Nuh uh…don’t run, sweet girl. Don’t run…” He roughly gripped your hips and pulled you back onto him, sheathing himself entirely in your warm, gummy walls. “Stay right there.” 

Stein was brutal, bullying his dick into you repeatedly, meeting your womb in a deliciously painful kiss so much so that you lost track of time. “S’too much! T-Too…much!” 

Completely ignoring your cries, he snapped his hips once more and stilled them against your behind, pulling you with him as he sat in the chair you had been previously sitting in, situating you on his lap.“You wanted extra credit, right?” 

“Y-Yes sir…but-” 

“Then put in the work, bunny.” He brought his hand down in a rough slap against your ass cheek. “Show me how much you deserve that A.” 

Arching your back, you leaned forward and rested your hands on the tops of his thighs. Taking a deep breath, you lifted yourself slowly. Making it only halfway up before dropping yourself back down. It only took two thrusts before your legs were threatening to give out. The pleasure was overwhelming, Steins low moans and grunts only adding fuel to the fire. 

“S-Stein! I’m- M’gonna…!” You dropped back down on his length, back hunching over as your orgasm ripped through your entire body, mind reeling as you completely forgot to play up the whole ‘sir’ thing while Stein’s grip tightened around your waist so you didn’t fall over. 

Stein brushed your hair over your shoulder, pressing gentle kisses to the nape of your neck, tongue licking up the salty perspiration gathered there. “Shhh…shh, that’s a good girl…I made you feel that good, hmm?” 

A delirious giggle left your lips as you let Stein pick you up, inhaling sharply as he pulled out of you, your release dripping down his, still painfully hard, cock and onto the trimmed blonde hair at its base. 

Gaining a second wind, you shoved his name placard and a few other things aside before sitting on his desk, reaching for the hem of your sweater vest and tugging it off over your head along with your button up shirt and mindlessly tossing it aside. He watched hungrily as you kicked off your skirt and widened your thighs, the heels of your loafers resting on the edge of his desk. Your folds were dripping with arousal, your skin flushed and puffy as you clenched around nothing. 

“C’mon Professor, don’t keep your favorite student waiting…” 

Scoffing, he shrugged his tweed jacket off and you started to salivate. His mock neck shirt was short sleeved and tight. Almost like it was painted on him. His biceps bulged deliciously against the thin fabric, the urge to run your tongue across the veins running down his arms was strong but you held onto whatever self control you had left and waited for him to make his way between your legs. 

“And who said you were my favorite student?” A wet slap! slap! echoed his words as he tapped his tip against your clit. 

“You do this with all your students then?” You whined. “That’s no fair…” A pout tugged at your lips. 

He laughed softly, leaning down to capture your lips in a tender embrace, biting your bottom lip before pulling away. “I’m just teasing, bunny. You are, by far, my favorite…student.” He punctuated his statement by snapping his hips forward and burying himself into your sloppy core. 

“Ah-!” You lost your balance and landed onto the desk with a soft thump against the wood. He gripped the bottom of your thighs and pushed your legs up and folding you in half, straight into a mating press. The fabric of your pantyhose tightening against your skin.

His desk creaked with each of his heavy thrusts, scraping against the hardwood floor once or twice. “God, it was like this cunt was made for me! She’s swallowing me up so well…so warm…n’wet!” 

Your eyes rolled back in your head, the press he had you in made it feel like he was quite literally rearranging your insides, your mind quickly growing fuzzy and clouded with thoughts of his huge, thick cock and the way his scent enveloped you entirely as he leaned over to plant kisses down your neck, no doubt sucking marks into it. 

Stein felt himself twitch inside you as he gazed down at you. Your face was screwed up in pleasure, lips glossy with spit and parted as moans and whimpers fell from your lips. “Let me see those pretty eyes, honey. Come on.” Your eyelids fluttered open, lined with tears and the pretty color of your iris was swallowed up by your blown out pupils, hazy with euphoria. 

He shifted your hips and slipped deeper into you, if it was even possible, and found that spot that made you see stars. You fought to keep your eyes on him as you became consumed by one thing only. Your second orgasm. 

“Fuck…I-” He whimpered as you clamped down around him. “I-I’m gonna cum…” He groaned, attempting to keep a steady pace to bring you over the edge with him. “Where-?” He grunted, choked with pleasure. 

“Inside me, please! I want- fill me up, sir…p-please -!” Your mouth dropped open in a silent scream, your release shaking your body, thighs burning as your legs shook. Overstimulation creeping up on you as he chased his end. 

“Want me to breed this pretty little cunt? Huh? Make you a momma for extra credit?”

“Y-Yes! Yes!” You started to babble, a few tears slipping down your cheeks. 

His moans became hoarse, desperate whimpers, hips twitching before he stilled in you. Balls tightening as he emptied his load into you. A full, warm feeling taking over your body as your chest heaves to catch your breath. 

He pulled out with a hiss, watching his spend trickle out of you before fucking it back into you with his fingers, laughing softly as you whimpered. Your hips twitch to get away from him, and he apologizes. 

“M’sorry bunny, don’t want it to go to waste…” He then eased your legs down around his waist, massaging his fingertips into your tense skin. He watched in amusement as you leaned forward, lips pursed subtly and he met your lips. Exchanging a few kisses before easing you to sit up and wrapping his arms around you, cuddling you into his chest.

“I’d say that’s earned you an A+...” 

You cackled against his chest. “Yeah, it better have.” 

subscribers:

@seireiteihellbutterfly @xxstarlightxx @indieburn

[the-grimm-writer]

Dabi with a darling who's obsessed with her art, her art being ballet

Cue vantom of the opera music ballet addition.

Also, I'm genuinely so sorry this took so long. I'm getting better at answering requests, I swear 😭😭😭

Mdni

Tw: stalking, paranoia, mentions of unhealthy habits, kidnapping.

You were used to people staring at you. Their eyes glued to you with pure admiration as you gracefully glided across the stage, moving your body in ways that took you years to master.

But this felt different. You felt someone's eyes burning into you with such intensity that any normal person would've broken down from it. Yet if you were one to break, you would've never made it very far. So you continued your performance like chills weren't running down your spine.

Heroes were hard to please. The world's top elite, coming to the theater to watch you, dressed in their finest night apparel. But the moment you started, all their doubts would wash away, watching silently with fascination once the music started.

The crowd broke into applause once you finished your dance, standing up and yelling their praise. It always made those long, painful nights of practice worth it.

As you bowed, you looked up to the audience, your blood running cold as you saw bright blue eyes from the back, hiding away from everyone else. Like a ghost, only you could see.

By the time you get down to greet the audience and discuss your performance, the man with the glowing eyes is nowhere to be scene. You don't know why you look for him, going past the darkest part of the theater and peaking in to see if he's still there, watching you.

Even your walk is elegant, your posture is perfect, back straight, and head held up high. Your voice was soft and feminine as you spoke to the people as they congratulated you.

"That was a stunning performance, my dear!" A tall, balding man with round, thick rimmed glasses eagerly shook your hand, yet you could tell by his crisp black suit and the beautiful younger woman that looked to be in her mid twenties or early thirties that stood by his side looking at you that he obviously had money. "When will you be performing again?"

"I'm here every night, thank you very much."

You smiled like he didn't give you the creeps. One thing your master didn't have to teach you but were thankful that he did. How to keep your admirers happy while maintaining a distance from them.

It continued on and on. You knew most people who attended the theater were wealthy, but you didn't care. You had all you wanted right now. So even as they introduced themselves, you didn't bother to remember their names. Always changing the topic if one got too bold with you.

A dancer's career was like a star, your balletmaster used to tell you. Shine too bright, and it would burn out quickly.

That's what you liked about it being busy, not being able to stay and talk to one person for too long. So whenever someone made you uncomfortable, you easily excused yourself and moved on to the next person. Sometimes, it would last for hours until you were finally able to leave.

There was a continuous cycle in your job. After you perform, you'd go to bed, get showered then something to eat, and then rush back to the studio in the early morning to practice. It was your favorite time to do it. When the sun was on the verge of rising and it was still dark outside. You could practice in peace with no prying eyes to judge you.

Turning the lights on, you walked onto the stage, dressed in your practice outfit. Skin tight nude colored leggings, a black leotard with a small tutu connected to it, and pointe shoes you just recently replaced and broke in. Your hair up in a tight bun, completely out of your face.

Taking a deep breath, you stood on the center stage and got in position, pretending like it was an actual performance as you danced.

It was always something you reminded yourself of when you got the lead role in dances. And whenever you didn't get what you were striving for and it felt like your world was going to come crashing down.

Yet still, you would dance until your feet bled and you physically couldn't anymore. It was painful yet an addicting feeling each time you overcame a boundary you once had and turned it into a new move you mastered.

"Why did you stop?"

Spinning around, you were about to stop until you collided with a person. You were about to apologize, thinking it was one of the other performers or the janitor until he spoke up.

You gasped in shock, turning around and stepping back from him. Those cerulean eyes were something you could never forget. Ever since that night.

"It's you..." Fear twisted in your stomach as you looked at him.

He chuckled at this, casually stepping forward towards you. "I knew you'd recognize me."

"Dabi..." You said breathlessly. It wasn't difficult to know who he was when he was always on the news. Heroes' warning is to be on the lookout for a deadly villain litered in patched scars and black hair. He smirked, knowing you'd seen him before.

"The theater is usually the last place I'd hide in. Too many witnesses." He stepped forward, making you go back. "But those idiots didn't even notice me. Not that I could blame them. That was quite the performance you put on."

You backed away, and he could see in your costume that your body was stiff as a board. Trained to have perfect posture even when just having a discussion with someone.

"Those fools don't deserve you, you know." He spoke up, his voice low and raspy. "They'll do what they do with everyone that has a talent. They'll make you dance like a puppet until you break."

You were stiff as you stood there, watching him circle around you on the stage. "I know what I signed up for," you said softly.

His eyes narrowed. "Then you're just as foolish as they are."

"It's ironic, you know," Dabi chuckled darkly as he stood behind you, placing his hands on your waist. "My father... he always strived for perfection. But even his most precious creation isn't enough for him."

You didn't blink an eye at his cold tone. Used to getting degraded and talked down to whenever you messed up even the slightest in front of your master and the instructors. So brutally harsh it could make even the villains with the blackest of hearts cry.

"Surely you understand," you argued back. "To love something so much, you'll continue to do it even if it kills you."

Though you didn't have a strong or flashy quirk, you made it up in your abilities in ballet. Pouring your heart and soul into your performances so even the untrained eye would be able to tell you aere the best at what you did.

You touched him like the fire that was dancing in his veins. The thing that consumed him aside from his needs for vengeance. Though he knew that obsession ran deep in his genetics. It was just something he never thought would hit him until that night he first saw you.

"That's because perfection doesn't exist."

His breath hit the shell of your ear, hot just like the rest of him, yet it sent shivers down your spine. "Yet here it is in the form of a little dancer."

You could tell how bitter it made him. You understood the feeling well. Every ballerina knew how it felt to be rejected and pushed to the side whenever a younger, prettier dancer came in and took the place they spent years working to get.

"Were you ever warned?" He mused. "Some hero or fuckin rich pig with too much time on his hands could ever use their power and money to snatch you up?"

Of course you were, and you hesitantly nodded your head. Nobody ever thought it would happen to them until it actually did. Hell, Dabi bet his mother thought she'd never wind up in an arranged marriage with his father, abused and locked away in an institution after making her have four children with him.

"I'm my father's son, after all." His scarred hand ran down your smooth cheek, down your chin until it wrapped around your throat and pinned you against him, his other arm snaking around your waist. "Men like us, when we see something beautiful, we have to own it, keep it for ourselves."

"You don't have to be like him." You protested, your heart racing in fear. Dread filled you at the thought of him taking away everything you spent your whole life working for.

"And you don't have to be a dancer." He retorted. "Sometimes we don't have a choice in life (Y/n). Now you're coming with me."

You tried to pull away despite his hand wrapped firmly around your throat, threatening you. "No! You can't do this! I have to perform tonight. I have to-"

"This is a lovely place," he cute you off. "Something even I could appreciate." His grip on your neck tightened as he held his other hand out, making you watch as bright blue fire appeared out of his hand. "Such a rich history. It would be a shame if it all went down in flames."

You weakly nodded your head, bursting into tears as you looked at the stage, the theater, your home on last time as he let his flame die out. He picked you up and threw you over his shoulder. His strong arm held you in place with ease as he walked away.

"Don't worry," he said softly, his smile wide and twisted as you cried. "You can still dance for me."

[smooth-perceval]

Always wanting more.

Lando Norris x Leclerc!Reader

PART ONE

Summary: Charles sister was strictly off limits- Lando and reader find themselves in a tricky situation when lusting turns to loving.

Warnings: 18+ no smut but I will consider smutty scenes. Swearing, angst, angry Charles, switched POVS, flirting. NO PROOF READ! Google translate- Eerrrr I think that’s all! 👀

Key: Y/N (Your Name) Y/E/C (Your eye colour)

Word count: 4791

A/N: I gotta thing for Lando at the moment- alsoooo I have been on holiday so I haven’t wrote a single thing, enjoy this though! There is a tag list!!

Lando’s POV

Y/N Leclerc… where do I begin?

We were introduced to each other I’d say 2 years ago… and truthfully I’m obsessed with her. I know when she walks into a room, I know when she is nervous, when she is happy, even sad. I know her.

And I want her.

Day in, day out.

Meeting her is when I finally understood addiction, she was my drug. My pill to keep me sane- I was well and truly addicted to her.

Unfortunately I can’t have her, Leclerc’s rules… I hate Leclerc.

The rule when we met was specifically look but never touch, well really it was-

—

“Norris, eyes off my fucking sister.” Charles shoved my shoulder, glaring at me. In my head I had thoughts of doing so, just not with my eyes.

Gulping my brows knitted together, and I was frantically shaking my head. “I wasn’t looking at her.”

“Really? Cause the drool on your chin says otherwise.” Folding his arms across his chest, he moved to stand in-front of me.

“Listen, and listen good. Stay away from my sister, she doesn’t need another driver in her life- believe me. And even so I definitely wouldn’t want her with anyone here. Got it?” Raising his eyebrows at me, I nodded my head slightly.

“So keep your wandering eyes to yourself.”

“Charlieee!” And as if on cue she skipped over happily… her Y/E/C eyes landing straight on me, and maybe it was in my mind but her smile widened.

“Hi! I’m Y/N, I’m so happy to finally meet you!” Aside from the obvious she was completely different from her brothers, she was more warm and welcoming- I froze when she moved in to hug me. Conflicted on whether or not to accept the hug and potentially be killed by her brother, or reject the hug and be killed by the look on her face after the rejection.

“Nice to meet you too I’m Lando.” Staring into Charles soul, I reciprocated the hug keeping my hands hoovering over her waist barely touching her. If I didn’t have my eyes so wide they would’ve rolled back into my head-

Her touch set me alight, her smell was sweet like candy floss at a funfair, she was squeezing herself against me- by god she felt perfect against me.

“Ahem.” Clearing his throat he raised his eyebrows at me once again, waking me from my trance that I call his sister.

“I better go- I got quali…” pulling away from her quickly, she stumbled back. “Oh right- I’ll let you both go.” Turning she smiled at Charles touching his arm like a motherly instinct. “Good luck Char” followed by two cheek kisses- she then turned back to me, her cheeks blushed red. “Good luck Lando.” Followed by a little wave she practically ran away, looking over her shoulder at me every so often that smile never faltering, them cheeks still shining red.

“Lando.” Shoving my shoulder again- my attention falling onto Charles who was shaking his head. “Stop.”

“I’m sorry-”

I really wasn’t.

—

I knew she had arrived on Charles boat, something about her aura caused the atmosphere to change, and I soon found myself trying to seek her out in the crowd full of people. Just a glimpse of her and I’d say it was a good party.

“Lando!” My heart pounded in my chest, her arms were thrown over my shoulders and tightly secured around my neck. God she smelt wonderful- why does she always smell so good?

Returning the hug keeping it short for any prying eyes she stood infront of me, shame on me for allowing my eyes to wander. She had on a beach cover up underneath was a bright orange bikini… McLaren orange-

What is she doing to me…

“I- er” pointing at just her in general trying to muster the courage to compliment her and not sound like an absolute weirdo.

“I like you- your bikini- your whole outfit! You-” I fucked it. Shaking my head I took a moments breath. “You look lovely.”

A shy grin plastered onto her face as she looked down at her outfit. “You think?” Her hands picked at her sleeve, subconsciously stepping closer to me.

“You always look lovely.” Now I’ve complimented her- I couldn’t stop I wanted to tell her every minute of every hour of every day for the rest of my life.

“Can we talk? Away from everyone here?”

Y/N POV

I’ve always liked Lando- before I even met him, sure I’d watch the race for my brothers but secretly when Lando’s face showed up on screen I felt giddy.

Maybe it was his sarcasm, or just the silly English boy in general- but I felt drawn to him.

When Charles finally introduced us, I felt like my life was complete, this boy knew I existed. For me that was more than enough.

But like most, absence makes the heart grow fonder- seeing him once I needed him again. We always want more. And I wanted him, I just couldn’t have him- he kept himself reserved and off limits.

It was only when I asked Charles why Lando always keeps me at arms length he finally told me about the little “threat” he gave to each driver. Seriously- the threat he gave wouldn’t even scare a fly.

Well long story short we got into a huge screaming match, and it ended with a simple.

“Keep away from them drivers Y/N- otherwise don’t speak to me ever again.”

And this time he meant it, unfortunately for him- I wasn’t running from Lando, I found myself always running at him. And I was going to get what I want…

—

Lando seemed nervous when we moved away from the crowds, indoors away from cameras, people- the world.

I took a seat watching him, he was on edge, before sitting down next to me. As always keeping distance. That annoyed me, and I found myself biting the bullet.

“Do you not like me?” Confusion was written on his face. “What?”

“I said do you not like me.” Shaking his head he shuffled the smallest bit closer. “Of course I like you! What made you think I didn’t?”

“Whenever I’m around you keep me 3feet away always. You reject every advance I make on you… it kind of all steers towards you not liking me…”

“I’ve got to keep away. Not that I want to.”

“Because of what Charles said?”

“Yeah…”

Studying his face, he looked conflicted. Like he was weighing his options out.

“I’m a grown woman Lan. I know what I’m doing.” His ears pricked at the sound of his nickname falling off my lips.

“He doesn’t get to tell me who I can and can’t like.” I felt myself getting more annoyed by the second, “I mean his not even your relative and his telling you what to do.” Standing back up in my frustrated manner. Lando copying my actions leaning against a nearby counter.

By god he looked good, he was just leaning there arms and legs crossed watching me- like I was some crazy woman. Crazy for him that’s for sure.

“He can’t stop me from having feelings- I want to feel something to you know.” Jabbing my palm against my own heart I stopped infront of him.

“Don’t you?” We switched places, myself now leant against the counter Lando now pacing the room. Brushing past each other, the electricity tingling through our finger tips as they just slightly touched.

“I just can’t go there with you…” a sigh left his lips, turning towards me. “His a friend… and friends don’t do that to each other.” I understood what he meant- I mean this is my brother, I get it. But I still wanted more.

“You’d do anything for your friends?” Nodding his head in response, I then straightened my back. “Am I your friend Lando?”

Once again he nodded his head, very slightly like he was scared of what’s coming. I was scared of what’s coming-

“Then kiss me.”

“What?!” His eyes widened as he took a step closer.

“Kiss me.” If I breathed any heavier our chest would touch his that close.

“Are you crazy?”

“About you? Yes.” If he wasn’t so close I would have missed the little smirk on his face.

“Y/N we can’t…”

“We can.”

Now whispering to each other, we wasn’t turning back, he had me trapped between the counter and himself, his arms were either side of my waist holding onto the edge of the counter behind me. “You said you’d do anything for your friends right?”

Our eyes were both dancing over one another- challenging the other to break first. “Just one kiss and I’ll let you go.”

“It won’t just be one kiss with us- we both know that-”

“One kiss and I promise to let you go.”

“One kiss?” Nodding my head a little in response. “One promise.”

Gulping he finally moved in- the kiss was heated right from the start. We both poured the pent up feelings for one another into that one kiss. It was a kiss to say, I like you but I got to let you go.

My hands found his cheeks, holding onto him like he was fragile glass, and his hands made their way off the counter gripping my hips tight before pulling me closer against his chest.

“Y/N?” The sound of Charles scared us both- Lando jumped back staring at me- our chest heaving, our hearts reaching out to each other. “Yeah?” Shouting back, my eyes trained on Lando.

“People are asking where you are.” The door rattled slightly- it was only then I realised Lando had thought ahead. Locking it behind him when he entered.

Lando’s hand reached out, touching my jaw, thumb grazing over my bottom lip. “I’ll be out soon- I felt a bit ill.” Gulping once again my body was on fire. “Want me to send Lorenzo down with some medicine?”

I don’t know what this boy is doing to me- but dancing his fingers down the side of my neck and collarbone while I’m trying to speak felt suffocating.

“No!” Snapping my head to the door. “I’ll be fine- just give me a few minutes.”

“Okay- just let us know if you need anything.” Waiting a few seconds I turned looking back at Lando.

“Okay that-” before I could finish my sentence his lips were back on mine pushing me back against the counter more demanding.

“I promised one.” Mumbling between kisses my hands found themselves snaking around his neck.

Pulling away he looked down at me, “I didn’t.” both catching our breaths. “Putain-” (fuck)

“Not here.” A cheeky smirk fell onto his face, his hands brushing up and down my sides. My fingers were tousling with his hair- both silent just relishing each other.“Meet me after the Dutch GP.” Whatever he said I agreed to- if he wanted me to stand on my head and put on trousers- yes. Always yes.

“Nobody can know about this-”

“What happened to Miss.Independent? Nobody rules her-”

“Charles swore to never speak to me again...” Chewing at my bottom lip I now felt guilty for what I had done. Stepping away from me like I burned him it was as quick as flicking on a switch- the mood changed, he scratched the back of his head. “Fuck…” and just like that I watched him start building them walls again- the walls that kept us separated for so long.

“This wasn’t a good idea…” mumbling he wiped his hands down his face before turning away from me.

“Now it’s not a good idea?” Furrowing my eyebrows at him I felt slightly hurt. “But it was a good idea when you pushed me against the counter for a second kiss-”

“Hey- you asked for the first”

“Because I thought we both wanted that-”

Moving back round to face me he shook his head. “Well I thought you wanted the second kiss-”

“I want all of your kisses.”

“You promised one-”

“And you broke that promise with the second.” He wasn’t winning this argument with me… “So why can’t there be a third, or a fourth?”

“I can’t do that to Charles, Y/N”

“I have more to lose than you do- his my brother. And I was willing to risk it…” boom right there he stabbed my heart.

The no response was more killing than having one. “I see…” nodding my head at him I straightened my back, “maybe I read the signs wrong- you don’t have someone pinned against a counter and telling them to meet you again if you didn’t want it to go further right…” shaking my head in disbelief I fixed my dress and hair before heading towards the door. “see you around I guess...”

My hand was opening the door slightly and I smiled to myself more in shock at his response. “I really hope not.”

—

Lando’s POV

I didn’t want to let her go truthfully… but I had to- no I didn’t care what them boys thought. They could hate my guts for liking their sister, I really did not care- it was more how they would treat her.

Charles was stubborn like most, and he would stick to his word of cutting her out his life all for me- and that alone makes me feel ill the thought of her willing to take such a risk for what could quite well not even work out…

So I had to let her go… and if she didn’t remind me of what she had to lose I may have grabbed her hand, took her in my arms and promised to keep us a forbidden secret- if the risk wasn’t so high for her. Just if.

What’s more worse- I tasted her lips twice and needed her more. More than before, now I needed to know what gets her whispering my nickname like she did moments prior- what gets her writhing, what makes her tick- I ached for it.

Maybe my words pushing her out the door was a mistake… and just maybe I could keep the promise of our secret…

I can’t… it’s just not fair on her-

“Lando?” My head snapped to the door, standing in the doorway was Arthur.

“You okay?” With a signature smile soon plastered on my face, I brushed past him hand clasping his shoulder.

“Never better leclerc.”

Yeah I really couldn’t do it to her.

—

1 week and 4 days had passed since we kissed, every single day I questioned wether what I did was right-

It was right. Don’t question yourself Lando.

It was finally time for the Dutch GP, you would think I’d be focused on the race, and whats ahead. But all I thought about was what I said to Y/N.

“Meet me after the Dutch GP”

And now I just wonder if I didn’t push her away- would she have met me? Something inside me said hell yeah she would have.

I can only wonder what would have happened between us…

Sighing I rubbed the sides of my temple- hoping to erase the thought of her from my mind.

Was she here today? Did she stay home? I mean she left the boat as soon as we parted, saying she still felt unwell. The look she gave me was sickening itself.

Lando fucking focus man.

—

Y/N POV

Did I want to be here? Yeah sure for my brothers. Did I want to see Lando? My heart said yes, my mind said no.

Standing at the back of Charles garage, fiddling with the Ferrari cap in my hand- sure I was nervous, if I bumped into Lando what would I say? Or would I run again?

"Hé, tu veux venir faire un tour dans les stands?" (Hey- wanna come for a walk down the pits?) Charles came into my view, and woke me from my daydreaming.

“bien sûr-” (Sure-) with a half hearted smile, I fell into step next to him.

“tu n'as pas l'air content...” (you don’t seem happy)

Glancing to Charles at my side I looked back ahead of me. “Qu'est-ce qui te fait dire ça?” (What makes you say that?)

“parce que je sais que tu ne le fais pas.” (Because I know you’re not.) Sighing I pulled the Ferrari cap onto my head. “je me demande juste quand ce sera mon tour” (Just wondering when it’ll be my turn)

“à ton tour pour quoi?” (Your turn for what?)

“à mon tour d'être aimé.” (My turn to be loved)

Charles stopped abruptly, myself copying him. “tu es aimé!” (You are loved!)

Tutting I shook my head at him. “par qui?” (By who?)

“Me, Maman, lorenzo, Arthur?” (Mum)

Smiling at him I leaned forward nudging his shoulder with my own.

“je sais que-” (I know that) we started walking again, soon finding ourselves outside a bright orange garage. “I want that toe curling kind of love-” sneaking a quick glance into the garage I see him there- headphones on looking at the screens ahead of him, notepad in hand and a pen pointing at the screens.

“ne me rend pas malade!” (Don’t make me be sick!) Charles gagged in a teasing way, causing me to genuinely smile over at him. “So annoying!” Shoving his head away gently, I turned back around walking with him back to the Ferrari garage. Both shoving and tripping each other on the way. “I’ll get you back Charlie. Just wait.” Declaring infront of the garage- our normal prank wars were just re-starting.

—

The day was nothing out of the ordinary, free practice being the normal, cars going round and round, pit stop practicing, cars in and out of pits. Yep all the normal.

I was tired, and couldn’t wait to get back to my hotel room- shower and sleep, just watching the cars circle round makes you exhausted- no idea how the drivers feel.

And it’s even luckier the hotel is very close by, mine and the boys rooms however. Weren’t.

Charles was at the end of the hall, turn left and then the third door on your right. Arthur was up another floor, and Lorenzo was back at home.

I gave both the boys quick kisses on the cheek before picking my night bag up and making my way to my room, fiddling with the card “key” in my hand. Turning it over itself repeatedly.

“Oh- hi…” kill me right now.

Looking up, a small smile on my face. “Hey- you okay?” It was passing conversation between me and Lando- or so I thought.

“Good as I can be.” Nodding my head in recognition to his response, I pushed my key against the scanner for the door to unlock. Only for it to flash red at me.

“How have you been?” Lando was a few feet behind me, watching as I nervously spammed the scanner. “Oh- Living the dream.” Cussing under my breath I slammed the card against the scanner, shoving the door with my arm. Yet it still blinked red.

Then I smelt his cologne- smelling even stronger now, his arm reached around from behind me- my body tensed up as I waited to see what stunt he was pulling.

Pressing his card against the scanner, it flashed green- with the same hand he pressed it against the door shoving it open a little. “Wrong door-”

I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole. “Merde…” (shit…)

Looking up at the door number, I looked over my shoulder- past Lando and at the door behind him. Shit indeed.

With an embarrassed smile, I moved around him scanning my card and opening the door. “I guess we are neighbours.”

“Seems that way.”

“You look good-”

Closing my eyes I took a moment before re opening them turning to face him.

“Goodnight Lando.” And with that I shut the door on him- he shut me out when I felt probably my most vulnerable- not everyday I tell a guy to kiss me.

Now it was my turn to shut him out- I can get over this silly crush if I just keep shutting him out.

That was more exhausting than the practice session.

—

Qualifying was something- not too great for Charles and Carlos, max on pole like always- and surprisingly Lando also. Not that I was really paying much attention of course- and not that I felt myself smiling slightly when I heard it across the tv.

Which soon faltered when I was watching myself on the screen, a camera directly on me.

“Y/N Leclerc is here in attendance today, although it’s not been a great day for both brothers- she still got a smile on her face!” Rolling my eyes at the camera my smile becoming wide again. I quickly turned away, occupying myself with anything- clearly getting camera shy.

Little did they know, a certain qualifier got me smiling like a goof. But they really didn’t need to know that.

Charles entered the garage, annoyed to say the least. And I stayed clear of him, only speaking to let him know I’m heading back early- seeing as he wanted the garage to stay back and discuss what’s wrong with the car.

When I got back to the hotel, I rushed to my room hoping to avoid a certain guy. Which I was successful at doing.

I showered in peace, got into some pyjamas and settled into bed. The aches in my body easing up each passing minute- I finally felt relaxed.

Until a knock at my door. With a loud groan, I rolled out of bed pulling the door open. “Charles, je viens littéralement d'envoyer un message-“ (Charles I literally just messaged-) pausing I looked up at the curly haired boy. “You’re not Charles.”

“Definitely not. I was wondering if he was with you?” Leaning against the door frame, he looked down at me, and I wasn’t stupid I see his eyes roaming up and down my body.

“No, I left him at the track.” Nodding his head at me he then straightened up. “I guess I’ll catch him later…”

“I guess so.” Slowly I started closing the door and he got the hint, moving back and turning to his own.

“Oh Lan-” quickly he spun his head looking at me over his shoulder. “Congratulations with your qualifying results…” if I wasn’t watching him so hard, I wouldn’t missed his cheeks turning a little red, and the dimple showing when the smile crept onto his face. We both then shut our doors at the same time, the conversation ending on a sweet note…

This crush wasn’t going away any time soon.

—

“Y/N!” Wincing I looked up at a very angry Charles stomping towards me.

“Merde-” (shit-) Stifling a laugh, I slid off the pit wall, ready to make my escape.

“MES CHEVEUX SONT ROUGES!” (I HAVE RED HAIR!)

Scrunching my nose up at him, I glanced at his hair. “I forgot I done that…” stepping away from him, looking behind me every so often making sure to avoid bumping into people.

“C'EST ROUGE!!” (IT’S RED!!)

Tugging at his own hair he crouched down to the floor, “ça à l'air bon...” (It looks good…)

“Nice hair leclerc.” Please not now-

“this your doing?” Looking up at Lando I nodded slightly. “You are brilliant.”

“Don’t!” Glaring at him from the floor was our red head Charles. “I’m not doing anything-” hands up in surrender Lando furrowed his brows. And while they tussle, I made my exit. Back to the comfort of the Ferrari garage.

Ready for the race… I’d say the red maybe good luck!

…but I definitely spoke too soon, and Charles made a rule we don’t discuss what happened today. So just like yesterday I ran back to my hotel room hiding away from the world. The world being Charles, Arthur and Lando.

After getting out the shower I dried off, pulling my underwear on. I started my skin prep and dried my hair off a little with the towel.

There it was, the rattle of my door. Grabbing the robe off the hook, I secured it around my waist. “I swear, if this is Charles I will throttle him.” Grumbling to myself I swung the door open ready to beat the crap out of Charles.

“Charles isn’t here.” Shutting the door on Lando’s face I turned to walk away, before the door knocked again.

With a loud huff I turned pulling it open again. “I just said-”

“Shut up.” Pushing me back into my room, his hands on either of my cheeks, like he was cradling my face. Kissing me with a hunger I didn’t know.

The door slammed shut from Lando kicking it, making me jump slightly, giving me the chance to pull away from him.

“What just happened-” sitting down on the bed behind me- not trusting in my legs to keep me up.

“I couldn’t do it.” Taking a seat in front of me on the mini sofa, he tugged at his own hair. “Can’t do what?”

“Stay away from you. I tried and I can’t.” Looking up at me, we both watched each other. “But you said-”

“I know what I said…”

It fell silent once again, tightening my robe and sitting up straighter, I cleared my throat. “Then what do you want?”

“You.”

“What about my brothers?” Raising my eyebrows at him, I only took notice of how close he got. “Nah, I don’t want them.” Rolling my eyes at him, my back slowly lowering against the bed. “You’re crazy.”

“About you.” Brushing my damp hair back he was now hovering above me. “That’s my line.” Why I was whispering I don’t know- but I was now letting the heart decide, and it decided that all is forgiven and I wanted him.

“Do you remember mine?” His brow quirked.

“Meet me after the Dutch GP?”

Humming he leaned down pressing a delicate kiss to my revealed collarbone.

“I’m glad you did.”

“You’re in my room.” Biting down on my bottom lip, I tugged at his hair gently.

“Let’s make it our room- at least for tonight.”

“Lando-” closing my eyes I fought with my heart- my hands pressed against his shoulders pushing him back slightly.

“I’m sorry-” mumbling he looked down at the minimal space between our bodies. “Don’t apologise for this-”

His hand slid under the robe, grazing up my thigh delicately, eyes trained on me watching how I reacted. “Im not apologising for this.”

My body ached for him, his touch driving me insane. Rolling my hips slightly trying to push myself more against him- if that was even possible. Smiling at my reaction, he licked his bottom lip trying to contain his smile. “I’m sorry for how I treated you.”

“Not to sound too desperate- but can we talk about that- after you really appreciate me.” Quirking a brow at him- my sudden boldness being brought out by lust.

“With pleasure-” gripping onto my waist, he lifted me moving me up the bed resting more into the pillows. “Literally.”

“Please stop with the corniness.”

“I’ll try-” both laughing a little, we fell into each other, delicate kisses, and whispered sweet nothings.

—

When all was said and ‘done’- we laid in silence, the room lit from the bright moon. My head was against Lando’s shoulder, his arm tracing up and down my side.

We was both watching our hands, fingers dancing with one another’s. The silence in the room was comforting oddly enough. And when my hand finally grew tired, it fell against his chest, my head turning, hiding away into his neck.

“That was- amazing.” Sighing he picked my hand up placing a soft kiss against my palm, before turning on his side making us both face each other.

“You’re amazing.” Laughing a little I reached my hand further up brushing his hair back. I was studying his face, how even in this light you can see his flushed face and feel his somewhat damp skin.

“You’re so pretty.” Mumbling lowly, I didn’t realise the words slipped my mouth until I see the smile creep up on his face.

His arms wrapped around my body securely, a kiss pressed against my forehead. “Goodnight.” Smiling up at him I closed my eyes “goodnight lan.”

Laying there eyes closed, I listened to his heartbeat counting the beats like sleep.

“I think I love you…” sighing once again he squeezed me tight press in two more kissed to my forehead.

My heart was pounding my body was so warm- I can’t believe he just said that- is it weird I understand what he means.

Our little secret Norris- I’m needing more.

Masterlist

[avastrasposts]

The Pilot and his Girl - ch. 28**

Sorry for the slight delay in this chapter, it's a bit of a "travel" chapter and although I had a couple of scenes I wanted to add, the rest of the chapter just didn't flow. But here it is, finally!

Series Master List

Chapter 29 - Warnings have their own post - Word count: 6.9k

The weather outside the school is a crisp, early fall day, and as you all make your way towards the interstate heading north you relish being away from the city again. The route chosen takes you away from suburban areas as much as possible so for hours you walk through green fields and patches of forest where the leaves have started changing color. It’s like a picturesque fall hike, except all seven of you are armed, guns ready, and walking with your heads on swivels.

Pope’s taken the lead, Joel behind him, not willing to let Pope be all in command. Frankie and you follow Joel, and Tommy brings up the rear behind Will and Benny. By midday you’ve covered a lot of ground and take a break by a small lake. You gratefully sink down onto the ground with your back against a log. The ache in your shoulder is a dull throb and you’re trying to get by without any more painkillers. 

“Just take the damn pills, cariño,” Frankie says when you shake your head. 

“We don’t have that many left, what if we need them for something more serious?” you object and he raises his eyebrows. 

“You can be all brave and stoic when we’re inside a QZ, out here I need you to be as good as you can be with that shoulder.” He holds the pills out again, along with his canteen and you accept them. 

“ ‘Stoic’, big word there, Frankie’,” you tease him as he watches you swallow the pills. 

“The Gladiator film,” he says, grinning, “Marcus Aurelius was a stoic philosopher.” 

“How do you even remember that?” you ask incredulously and Frankie gives you a crooked smile as he sits down next to you. 

“I’ve watched that film like thirty times.”

“Director’s cut with commentary,” Benny chips in, grinning as he sits down on the other side of you. “He was obsessed!”

“How did I not know about this obsession?” you ask, laughing as Frankie reaches across and slaps Benny’s cap off. 

“It’s a masterpiece, and the Academy agrees with me because it got an Oscar for Best Film and-,” Frankie says. 

“No it didn’t, Erin Brockowich won the Oscar for Best Film that year,” Benny interrupts, “I remember Julia Roberts on stage.” 

“Erin Brockowich didn’t win an Oscar for Best Film!” Frankie protest, “Are you out of your fucking mind?!” 

“No, you’re out of your mind if you think Gladiator beat Erin Brockowich, that film was awesome!” 

“It was alright, but it did not win an fucking Oscar for Best Film!” Frankie throws his hands up, “I can’t fucking believe you, Benny, you’re delusional!” 

“Russel Crowe won an Oscar for Best Actor, I’ll give you that, he was awesome. ‘What we fight in life, dies in eternity!’ “ Benny quotes in his best Russel Crowe impersonation. 

“Jesus, Benny, that’s not even the quote!” Frankie sighs with a roll of his eyes as you chuckle. 

“If we had a smartphone with an internet connection, I’d solve this straight away,” you say, giving Frankie a calming pat on his thigh. “But you’ll just have to hope we find a library with an encyclopedia.”

“I’m telling you, Erin Brockowich won an Oscar for Best Film, Frankie!” Benny says and Frankie mumbles something undoubtedly rude in Spanish and pushes himself up. 

“I’m gonna get some lunch, I’ll get you a bowl too, cariño.” With a scowl at Benny he stalks off and you can’t help but smile at the mundane argument between the two men. Benny leans over and chuckles. 

“I totally know Gladiator won the Oscar for Best FIlm, but I just love winding him up.” 

“Benjamin Miller, you are a nuisance!” you laugh as Benny grins and digs into his own lunch. 

You continue on after lunch, until darkness starts to settle. You find a farmstead on the outskirts of a small town and once it’s cleared you all settle down for the night. You’re excused from the watch rosta again and sleep through the night while the guys take turns standing guard. You wake up early again, Frankie had the second to last watch and he’s sleeping soundly, his arm thrown over your waist. He stirs as you shift under him, mumbling in his sleep, and you press a kiss to his forehead, making his lips curl in a drowsy smile. 

“Go back to sleep, Frankie,” you whisper, and as you pull on your boots, you hear his soft snores start back up. 

Joel has the last watch tonight and you find him pacing the yard in front of the farm house, turning as you step through the door. 

“Morning,” you say, sitting down on the porch steps as he turns back towards the yard. 

“Mornin’ “ 

“Quiet night?” you ask, looking out over the field beyond the farmstead as Joel turns and paces back across the yard again. 

“No one came near us but a few groups of infected moving south in the distance,” he replies, turning and coming back towards you again. He stops and looks down at you, his brow furrowed, looking like he has something on his mind. You wait, looking up at him as his jaw ticks. 

“Frankie’s girl,” he says eventually, “Tommy told me. I’m sorry.” His voice is gruff, his eyes not meeting yours, instead scanning the sides of the building. 

“Thanks,” you say, “Tommy told me about Sarah, I’m really sorry too, Lucía loved her.” 

“Yeah.” He stands still for a beat before he turns and paces back across the yard, stopping at the last building and looking out over the fields. 

You remain on the porch, watching his rigid posture, but he doesn’t turn and come back and eventually you hear people moving inside the house and you get up to help with breakfast, leaving him to his vigil. 

You made good time yesterday, Pope shows you on the map how far you’ve come. 

“We should make it to the Boston QZ before nightfall, but it’ll be slower going today since we’re moving through populated areas,” he says, his finger tracing a line across the map. 

“More people, more infected,” you sigh, accepting your backpack from Frankie as he comes over. 

“Yeah, we need to be on our toes today,” Pope agrees, “But, there’s seven of us, I’d think twice before I mess with an armed group that large.” 

“Let’s hope you’re right, Pope,” Will says, scanning the map next to you, “Let’s head out.” 

Pope was right about it being slower going. Only a few miles from the farmstead the suburbs begin, a massive sprawl all around the greater Boston area. The six men quickly fall into a familiar pattern of tactical advancement, you stay close to Frankie, as two men move forwards, covered by the other four, repeating as you move through the neighborhoods. Eventually you leave the suburbs behind and move into Boston, heading towards North End where the QZ is supposed to be located. 

As you’re moving across a large street, you and Frankie in front, you suddenly hear a desperate call for help. Frankie immediately holds up his hand to halt the others, Joel moving up next to you. The call is coming from a side street just up ahead and carefully the three of you move forward, the other four covering your backs. As you clear the corner, guns raised, you see the source of the noise, a young boy is trapped underneath a dumpster, his leg jammed and he’s crying out as he pulls on it. Next to him is a teenage girl, trying to shift the heavy dumpster off his leg. The boy cries out as he sees you, his face twisted in pain. 

“Please, help!” the girl calls, “my brother’s stuck!” She puts her shoulder against the dumpster and tries to shift it again. You holster your gun and start jogging towards the pair. 

“Cariñio, wait!” Frankie calls as he sees you move, following you with his hand out to pull you back. 

“Stop!” Joel bellows and yanks Frankie to the side so that they both tumble to the ground behind a car, you look back at them as you step forward and your leg catches on a wire. You barely have time to register your mistake and then a loud explosion knocks you sideways, showering you with dust and debris, you cry out as you land on your injured shoulder. Your vision is filled with dust, your gasping to catch your breath and your ears are ringing, somehow you register the loud noise of gunshots and then Frankie is on you, pulling you backwards across the ground behind a van. His face is swimming in front of yours as you try to focus on what he’s saying, he’s patting you down, lifting your shirt to and checking your abdomen. You shake your head, trying to clear the fog, and slowly Frankie’s voice comes back to you.

“Cariño! Are you hurt? Tell me where it hurts?” He’s kneeling in front of you, his hands on your shoulders, trying to make you focus on him. A corner of your mind registers that the gun fire has stopped and you try to feel if you’re hurting anywhere. 

“Only my shoulder,” you croak finally, “I landed on it.” You shake your head again and blink and Frankie swims into view, clearer now. “I think I’m ok, my ears are ringing but nothing is broken.” 

“Get her up, we need to move,” Joel barks from somewhere to your right, loud enough to cut through the ringing, and Frankie moves around, putting his arm around your waist and helping you up. You’re dizzy but it fades quickly as you take a few steps towards the street, your legs are a bit shaky but nothing hurts. You glance over at the boy and the girl and see them lying lifeless against the dumpster, multiple bullet wounds leaking blood onto the ground. 

“Let’s move!” Pope yells and Frankie pulls you along, as Will comes up on your other side to check if you need support. 

“I think I’m good, Will, thanks,” you say, your legs feeling steadier with each step. 

“Ok, good,” he replies, glancing over his shoulder at the site of the explosion, his gun raised. “I think you got really lucky, that bomb was made wrong. Lots of noise, very little blast, amateur work.” He catches your eyes and gives you a serious look, “You got really lucky.” You drop your gaze, you know you fucked up, he doesn’t have to say it.  

You all move quickly through the next few blocks and shouts go up behind you, prompting Pope to hastily consult the map before making a sharp turn. “Down here, we’ll lose any pursuers in the alleys,” he says and you all jog along as quickly as possible while still checking every street corner. Eventually you come out on a big highway, following it north and slowing down to a walk again. 

You walk next to Frankie, he keeps glancing over at you but you keep your eyes on the ground or forward on Joel’s back. You put everyone in danger, especially Frankie, by being thoughtless and trusting. Guilt and shame crawls up your limbs and makes your cheeks burn as you remember how both Frankie and Joel yelled at you. You can’t bring yourself to look at Frankie, his concerned eyes, you know he’ll smooth it over, make it out as if it was a mistake anyone could’ve made. But you know that’s not true, the others saw the trap instantly, you just saw two children who needed help and rushed in without thinking. 

“I’m sorry, Frankie,” you finally mumble when you can’t take it anymore. And just like you thought, Frankie immediately takes hold of your hand and strokes soothing little circles onto your skin. 

“Don’t worry about it, cariño, you made a mistake, the important thing is you’re not hurt.” 

You hear Joel growl in front of you and Frankie looks up at him as Joel throws a scowl over his shoulder at you, “You could’ve gotten us all killed, being so fucking trusting, fucking stupid.”

You feel your cheeks heat up again and you bite your lip, dropping your eyes to your boots as you continue walking. But Frankie tightens his hold on your hand as he glowers at Joel’s back.  

“Shut the fuck up, Joel,” he snarls, “she made a mistake and I should’ve been more alert, should’ve seen it first.” 

“Well, that’s just the fucking problem isn’t it?!” Joel snaps, stopping and spinning around to face Frankie and you. “You’re so fucking wrapped around her that you don’t pay attention to anything. Could have fucking clickers tearing the rest of us to pieces but you’d only see her. She’s a fucking liability.” 

You see Frankie opens his mouth to yell at Joel but Will’s firm hand comes down on his shoulder. 

“Ok, that’s enough,” he says, his voice determined and signaling ‘end of fucking discussion’. “We need to keep moving, we’re almost at the QZ. This is not the time or the place.” 

Without a word Joel turns on his heel and marches off, overtaking Pope who’s looking at Frankie with his eyebrows raised. Frankie snaps his mouth shut, his teeth grinding together as he starts walking again. He’s still got a hold of your hand but as you walk you pull away from it, taking out your gun as your eyes scan the broken city around you. Joel words sting, there’s a truth to them, Frankie’s said so himself back in Arlington when you asked to help with the smuggling. ‘I wouldn’t be able to focus on what we’re doing if I know you’re out there too’. He only let you join in the operation when you pleaded with him. And now you’d proven how right he’d been, you made a mistake and his focus had been on you, not the potential danger. You grip your gun tighter, keeping your eyes on the horizon as you swallow down the lump in your throat and keep walking, trying to ignore Joel’s furious form in front and Frankie’s worried looks on your left.  

Downtown Boston is a mess, a wrecked no man’s land of broken buildings and water filled craters. It’s slow going with many detours and uneasy sprints across streets as you follow the broken signs towards the QZ. You stay behind Frankie, your gun out, pointed down towards the ground, stopping when he stops, running when he runs, making yourself small and invisible, avoiding Frankie’s eyes, and Joel’s scowls. 

The QZ gate finally comes into view as the sun sinks behind the broken skyline. You make one final detour on Pope’s suggestion, all of you hiding your rifles and some of your handguns inside a building just out of sight of the gate. 

“Better to stash them here than to let FEDRA take them,” Pope says, marking the building on his map as you hide your gun and holster at the bottom of your backpack. 

You get to the gate, get scanned and taken to a processing center. Since it’s getting late you’re shown to a temporary housing facility, bunk beds set up in the hall of a community center, and given a thin stew for dinner. After the meager meal you get ready for bed, gratefully pulling off your boots and sinking down on Frankie’s bunk bed, you’ve been assigned the one on top. He puts his arm around you and pulls you in to rest your head on his shoulder. 

“Relax now, cariño,” he mumbles, “we got here in one piece.” 

“I’m really sorry about today, Joel’s right,” you whisper, guilt welling up inside you again, “I made a huge mistake that could’ve gotten us killed.” 

Frankie sighs and lets his hand caress your hair as he pulls you in closer, “You made a mistake because you’re you, you’re not a soldier. And I love that,” he adds when he hears you inhale to interrupt. “You’re not a soldier and you shouldn’t have to be, I should keep you safe and I wasn’t paying enough attention today.” 

“Frankie, if you blame yourself for me getting myself blown up today, I’m going to slap you,” you protest and you hear him sigh. 

“But it’s true, I promised to keep you safe, both to you and to myself, and I failed.” 

You pull yourself from his grip so that you can sit up straight and look at him, “You do not get to blame yourself for that and you can’t keep me safe at all times, that’s impossible.” 

“I know, but when I’m right there, right next to you, I should keep you safe, I should’ve seen that fucking trap the second we turned the corner, I need to keep you safe,” his voice shifts, an edge to it you haven’t heard in a few years. 

“Frankie…” you say, taking his hand as you open your mouth to argue, to pull him back from where he’s heading, but he interrupts, cutting you off. 

“I need to keep you safe, you know that,” his eyes are pleading with you, “you know it’s all I have, you’re all I have. If I can’t keep you safe then…then,” he shrugs, shaking his head, “then nothing. I’m nothing. After Lucía…” he trails off, and you cup his face in your hands and lean against his forehead. “You know how close I came to leaving you because I couldn’t keep you safe,” he mumbles, “I have to keep you safe, I have to protect you.” 

“I know Frankie, I know,” you stroke his cheeks with your thumbs but you don’t try to argue with him, you don’t try to convince him, you just try to calm him down. “I promise I’ll be more careful too. And we’re safe now, Frankie, we’re both safe.” 

“I just wanna keep you safe, hermosa,” he mumbles, putting his arm around your shoulder and pulling you into his side and you lean your head on his shoulder again. “I just need to keep you safe.” 

You take his other hand and tangle your fingers with his, rubbing your thumb over the bullseye tattoo and you sit in silence while the rest of the room quietens down, people settling down to sleep. Your own eyes are getting heavy and you stifle a yawn. 

“I hope we can stay here now,” you mumble as he caresses your hair, his fingertips gently scraping against your scalps.  

“Yeah, I hope so, Boston seems good so far,” he looks down at you as you slip further down his shoulder. “Hermosa, don’t fall asleep sitting up, c’mon, get into bed.” He smiles as he nudges you to sit upright again and starts peeling your jacket off. You nod and pull off your hoodie too before climbing up into the top bunk. Frankie stands up and tucks you into your sleeping bag and cups your cheek, his lips finding yours in a soft kiss. 

“Sleep well, cariño, sweet dreams.” He chuckles softly as your eyes close before he’s even finished speaking, pressing his lips to your forehead and settling down in the bottom bunk. 

FEDRA in Boston seems to have the procedure of admitting people down to an efficient art form. It only takes a few hours the next day for you all to be assigned housing, ration cards and told to report to the assignment officer in two days time. The Boston QZ is located in the city’s North End, narrow streets lined by centuries old red brick buildings and surrounded on three sides by water. You’ve all been assigned apartments in the same building, Pope, Will and Benny in one apartment, Joel and Tommy in another and Frankie and you in a small one bedroom place on the top floor overlooking Old North Church. 

Frankie pulls you into his chest the second the door closes behind you. You’ve just managed to drop your bag on the floor when his arms circle around you and the cool tip of his nose presses against your neck. You hear him inhale deeply, probably smelling almost a week’s worth of dirt and sweat on your skin and you shift under him, feeling the need for a shower. 

“I stink Frankie,” you giggle as he holds you tighter when you squirm under him. 

“I don’t fucking care, I let you shower last time I had you alone,” he growls, “you smell great to me, you’re my favourite smell in the world.” 

“Not aviation fuel?” you tease him and he chuckles into your hair.  “Close second, hermosa.” 

He’s walking you backwards into the new apartment, guiding you into a room that turns out to be the kitchen and with a firm grip on your waist, he lifts you up onto one of the counters. 

“Look at this, perfect height and everything,” he grins as he pushes your legs apart, making room for himself between them and pulling you closer. You’ve still got your boots on, and your jacket, and you’re giggling as he starts tugging at the sleeves as he buries his face against the crook of your neck, placing wet kisses on your salty skin. When he uses his teeth, nipping that spot just under your ear, your giggles turn into a gasp and he bites harder, making you moan so that he can feel the sound come from your throat. You fight with your sleeves, finally freeing yourself and throwing your jacket on the floor and tangling your hands in Frankie’s soft curls, pushing off his cap and pulling his lips up to yours. The back of your head thumps against the cupboard behind you when he meets your kiss, his tongue greedily licking into your open mouth and pushing you back. When his hands roam under your t-shirt and caress along your sides, up your back, his fingers feel hot on your skin, making you shiver with pleasure and you tilt your head back with a soft moan. Frankie lets his mouth leave yours and instead sucks a mark into your neck, the soft tip of his tongue coming out to taste the goosebumps his scraping teeth leaves behind. 

He pulls away enough to pull the t-shirt over your head and you reach out to tug off his shirt too, to be honest, it stinks, as does yours, they both end up on the floor. His skin is still tanned and golden from the day you spent on the boat, his freckles sprinkled over his shoulders and chest and before he claims your skin again, you lean forward and smooth your hands over the wide expanse of his shoulders. Frankie’s hands are stroking your back, up into your hair, letting his nails scrape along your scalp as you pull him closer and trail wet kisses between his freckles. His skin tastes like salt and dust, the unwashed cotton of his t-shirt leaving its own scent, but underneath you can still smell him. You can feel his throat hum when your lips move up over his Adam's apple and into his scruffy beard, nosing against the sweet bare patches that never fill in. 

“Do I stink, cariño,” he says and you can hear the smile in his voice and you nod, letting your lips wander down along his throat again, your hands slipping down over his chest. 

“You taste like salt and smell like sweat,” you murmur into his skin, enjoying the warmth that’s radiating from him, the stillness in the apartment and the calm that comes from being safe and having time. And you take your time, Frankie standing still between your legs, his hands in your hair, letting your fingertips map out a path between his freckles that you follow with your mouth. Tasting him slowly, your tongue slipping over his skin, the pebbles on his throat, the hollow just at the base. You test the give of his flesh, biting lightly like you always do, until he hums with pleasure, egging you on to bite down harder. Your mouth finds a soft spot, just beneath his collar bone, and your tongue caresses it. When the pads of your fingers drag across his dark nipples as your teeth graze his skin, biting down, he hums again, a hushed moan at the back of his throat. The sound, his soft little whine, sends a shiver down your spine, making you grip your legs around his narrow hips, heat pooling in your core and you let your fingers slip down his soft belly until you find the coarse trail of dark hair that leads down under his jeans. 

He lets you undo his belt and buttons, the zipper coming down as you cup your hand over the bulge in his tight boxers. 

“Cariño,” he groans, your fingers tracing the outline of his hard cock as his breath stutters, “fuck, that feels good…” he drops into the crook of your neck, his mouth breathing hot air over your skin as you continue to tease him through the warm cotton. His hands have been kneading your hips through the denim of your jeans but now he moves them onto your thighs, stroking his thumbs up along the inside towards your core and up to your belt, tugging at it. He makes quick work of it even when he has to stop and groan as your fingers become more firm around him. You lift your hips and he pushes your jeans down your legs, cursing as they catch on your boots. 

“Take them off, Frankie,” you say, palming his heavy length again, pulling a deep growl from him as he bites down on your shoulder, making you whine and squeeze him in response. 

“Fuck,” he breathes, pulling away and crouching down to untie your laces, quickly pulling each boot off, letting your jeans fall on the floor before he kicks off his own boots and jeans. 

“Counter or bed?” he asks, pulling your legs around his waist again, his hard length pushed up against your wet folds. 

“We’re not gonna last long enough to get to the bed,” you say and he grins, seeking out your mouth as he feels your fingers wrap around his cock and give it a few firm strokes, letting the precum coat the blunt head. 

“Probably not, I’m-” Frankie’s reply gets stuck in his throat as he groans, his hips thrusting into your hand of their own accord. “Fuck, that feels good, hermosa,” he gasps, his cock twitching in your grip.

Guiding him right you look down between your bodies to watch as he pushes in, the stretch making you clench hard around him. He growls, a low rumbling in his throat, his fingers digging into your hips, the slick heat coating his aching hard cock and he feels your pussy pulse around him as you tangle your hands in his hair and pull his mouth to yours. When he starts to move his hips hips he has to squeeze his eyes shut, he wants to fuck you hard, built up tension making his body want to chase release too fast. But you’re just as greedy, he can feel it, your heels digging into his ass, pulling him closer with every thrust of his hips. Your lips slip from his and you bury your face against the crook of his neck, clinging to his shoulders as he slams deep. Every time he bottoms out he grinds against your aching clit, the wiry curls at the base of him slipping across it, making you gasp out hot air over his chest. 

“Frankie…” you moan, “harder…please…I’m so clo..ose,” the last syllable comes out as a whine as he plants his feet firm on the kitchen floor, his hands grabbing handfuls of flesh and slamming into your, pushing you up against the cupboard with a panted groan.

“Fuck, so good…” Frankie pants, “feels so good, I won’t…” 

He has to bite his lip to stop himself from coming, pistoning into you and listening to your whimpering as he hits the right spot. Your nails dig into his back, your teeth scrape across his shoulder as you seize up and cry out, your high hitting you as he grinds deep into your tight heat. The spasm of your cunt around his aching cock, deep inside you, pushes him over the edge. With a growl he pulls you in even tighter, pushing your hips onto his cock, emptying deep inside as he shivers under the onslaught.

You tilt your head back, breathing heavily as your body relaxes around him. He drops his head forward and your arms come up and cradle him against your chest, pressing kisses to the top of his head as stillness falls over you both, the only sound your breathing, as you slowly calm down.

Later, after showers with soap and shampoo, he carries you to the bedroom and places you naked on the bed and kneels by your thighs. If the first time together after a week traveling was rushed and chasing relief, now it’s slow and calm. A soft bed again, a door to close and lock, no one nearby and no need to stand guard. Frankie does what he loves best, he pushes your legs open with his calloused hands and makes himself at home between them, making you whimper his name while his cock aches under him. As your body arches up and you cry out, he pins you down, buries his tongue inside you, and begs you to let him make you come again and again. 

When you finally fall asleep, the sheets are already ruined, your thighs covered in your release and his seed, Frankie’s sweat damp curls a messy halo around his head, the taste of you on his tongue. With your face nestled in the crook of his neck, your head resting on his arm, he pulls the covers over you both and holds you close with his arms circled around you. When you hook your leg over his, he feels like he should simply stay here always, never leave this bed again. Your nose against his throat, warm breath slipping over his chest, your soft waist under his arms and he feels your body rise and fall in a steady rhythm. 

He has to keep you safe. 

“I talked to Joel yesterday,” Will says one evening, a few weeks after you’ve all arrived in Boston. “He’s been looking into trading around the QZ, talked to some of the people selling stuff to see who’s moving what.” 

Frankie and you have joined Will, Benny and Pope in their apartment, continuing your routine of sharing dinners. Tonight it’s your turn to cook and Frankie’s helping you chop up the vegetables while you try to season the rice with what little is available. 

“I invited him and Tommy over tonight, after dinner, to see what they have to say, seems Joel’s keen to get into smuggling, they used to do it in the Austin QZ.” Will says, putting down bowls on the kitchen table and knocking Benny’s feet off it at the same time, “Get your stinky, fucking socks off the table, Benjamin.” 

“Do you know why they left Austin?” you ask, turning to Will, who’s scowling at his younger brother.

“Tommy got friendly with a group of people who were convinced things were better up north and wanted to join them. Joel said he tagged along to keep an eye on Tommy,” Will replies and Benny nods.  “Seems they had a pretty rough journey,” he says, “they lost most of the group, stopped in some QZ:s along the way, moved on when FEDRA got too oppressive or the smuggling got too dangerous.”

“So everyone in the group died until it was only them left?” you ask, seems like you guy got off easy in your journey if that’s how bad it’d been for Joel and Tommy.. 

“No, they left a few behind in Pittsburgh,” Will says, “Tommy said two of the guys found partners there, one of them had a kid, another one was fed up with running, wanted to take down FEDRA there. Thanks, man.” he sits down at the table and accepts a glass of whiskey from Pope. “I think Tommy wanted to do the same but Joel thought it was a bad idea and got Tommy to leave. They were heading to New York but ran into some trouble and decided it’d be safer to go further north.” 

“What kind of trouble?” Pope asks, “New York seems to be the logical choice if you’re leaving Pittsburgh.” 

“I didn’t ask,” Will says, shaking his head, “seemed to be a sore point with Joel so I didn’t push it.” 

You put the pot of stew on the table and everyone sits down, “So the plan is to start up the way we did in New York?” you ask, “And maybe avoid pissing off any local gangs?” 

“Yeah, I guess so,” Will nods with a crooked grin, “Joel seemed to have some ideas so maybe he’s heard something about what’s going on.”

Joel does have plenty of ideas you realize when he and Tommy turn up an hour later. Tommy’s been asking around and there’s a couple of people to approach if you’re looking for something not available with ration cards. But Joel’s been more direct, he’s found a route to get outside and tested it, venturing far outside the wall and picking up the rifles and ammo you left out there. He’s also made a connection with the man who runs the private radio in the QZ and figured out which FEDRA soldiers have what weaknesses and who can be exploited for those weaknesses. 

“How’d you find out all that,” Will asks as Pope and Frankie exchange a worried glance. 

“Asked the right people in the right way,” Joel grunts, stretching out his long legs as he leans back on the couch. 

“What do you mean, ‘the right way’?” 

Joel eyes Will for a few seconds before he responds, “I ask and make sure they know they need to tell the truth;” he says, his tone curt and crossing his arms over his chest, his face closed off, it’s like watching a shutter come down the way he clenches his jaw tight. There’s a menacing tone to his voice that makes you shudder when he says it and by the way Frankie tilts his head and shoots a quick glance at Pope, you know you’re not the only one who picked up on it. 

“Joel, you know I’ve been smuggling for years,” Will says, “We’ve got to be more subtle or FEDRA’s gonna catch on and we haven’t got any protection in place yet.”

“That’s what I’m getting us,” Joel says, “protection. And, speaking of protection,” he looks over at Frankie, he’s sitting next to you as usual, with his arm over your shoulder, “you two can’t go on runs together, you don’t prioritize right when she’s with you and it puts the rest of us in danger.” 

“Joel,” Benny interjects, he can see Frankie’s hackles rising, “we came all the way from Arlington and it was never an issue, Fish’s got everyones’ back.” 

“She nearly got us killed yesterday,” Joel growls, “because he wasn’t paying attention to covering us, only her. No offense, darlin’,” he says, looking over at you and you’ve never felt less like someone’s ‘darlin’ with the way he’s looking at you, “I’m sure you can handle yourself, but I ain’t working with you and Frankie together when it’s plain as daylight who his first priority is.” Joel shifts his look over to Frankie before he lands on Will, “He’d try to save her even if it was hopeless, he’s too focused on her.” 

“Well, I guess that’s us out then, Will,” Frankie growls just as low as Joel in response, “because I’m not letting her go out on a run without me.” 

“She’s a good shot and a great look out, Joel,” Pope interjects, looking at you and giving you a small smile, “I’d work with her any day. And Fish, I trust him with my life,” Pope looks over at Joel again, “we need both of them.”

“Like I said,” Joel is standing up, getting ready to leave, “I’m sure she can handle herself and I know Frankie’s as skilled as any of you guys, but I don’t trust them together, she makes him unfocused and I ain’t risking my life for it.” 

Frankie opens his mouth to snarl something, but Will’s quick nod at him makes him snap his mouth shut while Tommy stands up and joins Joel at the door. 

“Thanks for the whiskey, see y'all tomorrow,” he says, giving a wave as Joel disappears out the door and he follows, an uncomfortable silence falling over the room when they’re gone. You’re chewing on the inside of your cheek, your eyes on your hands and you feel Frankie’s fingers flex around your shoulder. He inhales and opens his mouth to say something but you cut him off. 

“I’ll just stay behind, you need Frankie more than me,” you say to the room, “and you need Joel more than me.” 

“Cariño, fuck him, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about,” Frankie says, squeezing you under his arm but you shake your head. 

“He’s got a point, who would you save first, him or me?” You’re looking at Frankie and you can see in his eyes that he knows full well you’d be the first one he’d save, and you’d do the same for him. You hadn’t seen it until Joel put his finger on it, but your bond puts everyone else in danger. 

“It’s never been an issue, hermana,” Santi says from his corner of the couch, “we’re not in the army anymore, different rules apply and we adapt around it. Will would save Benny first if he had to choose.” 

“But Frankie doesn’t even want me going on smuggling runs,” you say, “I had to twist his arm to let me come,” Frankie’s eyes are pained when he meets yours, “You would rather I stayed behind and be safe.” 

He sighs, running his hand over his neck, “Yeah, I would, you know I hate the thought of you getting hurt, or worse.”

“So I won’t go anymore,” you shrug, pretending it doesn’t bother you, and stand up, getting ready to leave, “If I’m with you on a run your focus will be on me, and I know you won’t let me go with someone else. It’s just better if I don’t go at all.” You know Frankie isn’t fighting you on this because it’s what he wants, he’s trying to hide it but you see relief in his eyes as he gets up to join you. The other men remain silent, Benny opens his mouth to say something but thinks better of it, closing it again as he stands up. He surprises you with one of his signature bear hugs instead. 

“I’d have you on my team any day,” he mutters close to your ear as his arms crush you to his chest, “fuck Joel.” His support makes you smile and you give him an extra squeeze before letting go. 

You’re subdued when you get back to your own apartment and Frankie hovers in the living room as you go to the bathroom to brush your teeth. You know him well enough after all these years to know what he’s doing, and when he comes in and leans on the door frame, watching your evening routine, you know he’s getting ready to speak after sorting the words in his head. 

“Cariño,” he begins, his hand shooting up and rubbing across his neck, “I can’t pretend like I won’t be calmer if you’re here, safe, instead of out dealing with FEDRA patrols, raiders and infected and all the other shit. Joel’s right, when we’re out there, I’m always focused on you, and I’m always worried about you, in a way I never was when it was just me and the guys on missions in the army or doing runs with Pope in Arlington.” He’s gripping the door frame, grinding his fingers into the wood as he speaks, his eyes seeking yours in the mirror as you continue to brush your teeth. When you look at him he takes a tentative step towards you, his hand coming out and resting on the small of your back, as if he wants to circle your waist and pull you close, but he’s not sure how you’ll react yet. “I know you wanna come with me too, I know you worried about me when I went out with Pope, but it’ll be different now, I’ll be with Will and Ben too, we’ll be able to handle anything, it won’t be as dangerous as before.” 

You spit the toothpaste out and rinse your mouth before meeting his eyes in the mirror, “I hate it,” you say, giving your head a small shake, “the idea of you being out there, in danger, I fucking hate it.” 

“I know,” Frankie says softly, his arm coming all the way around your waist and you lean into him. 

“If you don’t come back, I’m coming after you, you know that right?” you whisper into his chest. 

“I’ll come back, I promise I’ll always come back.” He’s turning you so that he’s got you pressed against him, his arms around you and holding you tight as he drops his head against the top of yours. 

“You can’t promise that, Frankie.” 

“Watch me,” he mumbles, “Just fucking watch me.” 

Chapter 29

Taglist: @pimosworld @i-own-loki @casa-boiardi @littlenosoul @stormseyer @mxtokko @javicstories @nunya7394 @welcometothepedroverse @harriedandharassed @meveispunk @hiroikegawa @jwritesfanfics @vickie5446

[slickchickchocolatier]

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Alright here we goooooooo!!! chapter 2 of TO!! And don’t worry chapter 3 is being worked on. Right now. Sorry but I didn’t get to proofread this at all bc I’ve been so busy with this family trip. but finally got around to at least separating the parts so I can assign them to chapters. Let the games begin!

Warnings: yup….implications of rape, murder, there’s bullying, Jake, Heeseung, and Sunghoon are not good people. Mentions of murdering and disposing bodies, there’s obsessive love (yandere ofc, what else? Lol) kidnapping and detaining one of the y/n’s) there are some flashbacks where male lead recalls certain events, abuse of authority, abuse of power (all in a relationship), cursings…I think that’s it. This is a thriller type so there’s lots of bad stuff that goes on.

Ṭ̣͍̮̝̹̫̬ͬ͒̄̍͘H̷͚̖̣͚̃Ëͣ̈͑͏̗̬̥̪̤̳̩ ̲̘̝͉̍̿̐͠ͅỖ͉̘͛̍͘T̫̖͇̻͙̥̭̮̏͠Ḩ͈̹̣͓̲̍͑̓͋Ȅ̷̼̬̙̲͇̩R̅̎̈҉̥͇̦̱͇͓̤ͅS̹̳̭̭ͯ̏̍̇̀Ï̴͚͍̟̳͉̲̪̃D̫̜̳̤̞̘̝̩̏ͩ̊̇͜E̷̗̺̞ͧͅ

“Give it to me….I said give it to me!!”

……………..

Over yonder, a young man stands by and watches the display of harsh bullying taking place nearby. From afar, he witnessed the three women, seemingly to be in their early college years, torment and aggressively pick on a much shorter young woman, seemingly familiar with the three perpetrators.  

His expression wasn’t of intrigue, yet he continued to observe and study the features, listen in on their names, and noted the key traits of the women. Propped up against the building, he rubs the tip of his thumb back and forth along his bottom lip, continuously watching as the lead female harasses the timid girl into giving up money, along with homework assignments and whatever else she could obtain.

Hearing in on the names of the three bullies, he pulls out his phone and types them into his notepad, all the while still listening in on the conversation.

……….

“What are you doing?”

A voice emerges from afar, it was foreign and quite loud. The young man turns over suddenly and watched as another woman walks up to the scene, facing the three bullies straight on.

“Give her back her things, I saw you take them from her. Give it back, NOW!”

Despite your stature, you were feisty and bold with your demands. His eyes trailed you as he mentally remarked the noble display of your act; you were brave, forceful, and relentless with an attitude that was like nothing he’s seen in a woman before. It was……interesting.

“Get lost, y/n!” the lead bully spits out.

“I said give it back to her.” you hissed out, squaring up to the bully.

Scoffing out, the trio turn around and begin walking away.

“I said….” Grabbing the lead bully by the hair, you pull her back, twirling her around and bear-hugging the girl, pinning her arms to her sides as you immobilized her. The other two bullies scatter away to avoid the scene of embarrassment as the public all watched as they walked past.

"Oh shit…..what is this? Heh...."

Finding the entire display amusing, he softly chuckles as he watched you conduct yourself rather brazenly, yet you managed to subdue the lead bully.

“Y/N let go of my hair!!”

“I will…..after you back all of her things.”

It would seem to foreign eyes that you had taken lessons on some martial arts techniques, or perhaps you gained experience in another manner.  Either way, the young male raised his brows in amazement and slightly nodded in approval, as he watched you use your skills to stand up for the defenseless, watching at how you handled the girl effortlessly and was able to get the belongings back to their rightful owner.

Observing as the intimidator rushes out of sight away from public view, his eyes come back to meet with your frame as you turn around and face the helpless girl. She humbly sticks out her hand as you gave back her items.  

“You know….you really should do something to take care of yourself. If you don’t speak up or do something, they’re going to just keep doing that.” You tell her, all the while displaying a pitiful look at the girl.

“Yeah but….” The girl hangs her head low and shakes it out of despair. “I’m not at all good at fighting and…”

“So?......I’m not really either….I just…..got into a lot of fights at school….but fighting isn’t the only way to stop bullying…”

You tried to rationalize the girl’s options, desperately hoping that she would find her own means to stand up for herself. Though it was your first time meeting her, you recognized her at your college, along with the antagonizing trio.

Bidding goodbye to her, you walked off and continued your way towards home, completely unaware that you had gained the interest of a particular observant and intrigued male that followed you closely.

*Ding*

Looking down at his phone, he reads the text message that came in, from a close and personal friend….

Shoving his phone back in his back pocket, he continues to follow you as you both enter the subway station. Waiting for the next train, he ponders off into deep thought as his sight admires you from head to toe. Biting his lip, he observed as you did some light reading on your phone.

"How adorable..."

Without any given thought, he hadn't realized that he was following you and looking at you just the same as he did with all his other victims.....but he was viewing you in a different manner. For once, he didn't feel the need or the urge to taint or humiliate, he found himself genuinely interested and wanted to see more. It was a feeling, that unbeknownst to him at the moment, was something that a dear friend of his had succumbed to just months prior when he gazed at a young woman that captivated him.

"Heeseung...."

At that moment, he had realized as he drifted in thought, just how much time had passed since the day Heeseung told him of how he set eyes on the most captivating woman he had ever seen. Initially, Jake merely thought that the woman would just be another notch on the belt, considering his best friend never was one to dip into commitment, nor was he the type to think about future relations and prospects of becoming a father, yet the moment he refrained from usual methods of meeting with her, lying and getting a way in for one night of pleasure, only to ditch her and never to return her calls like the rest of them, Jake became overwhelmingly surprised when his friend abstained from his usual routine.

"So what's up with you and this girl that you saw a couple weeks ago? You keep talking about her but you hadn't made a move yet. You're not going to try and get her number?"

".............."

"Whats wrong with you?" Chuckling, Jake takes a sip of his beer as he side eyes his friend across from him as they rested on the large sofa. Teasing him, Jake spat out a series of harmless words, hoping that it would snap Heeseung out of his zoned state. The man had been far to quiet and pensive since seeing her.

"What? Did you suddenly find yourself lost in love or something?"

Remaining silent, Heeseung stared at the contents of his bottle, rotating the alcoholic beverage in circles.

"Heeseung?....."

"I dont know man.....I dont know. I just....I dont think I want to....."

"Want tooooooo?.....what...you dont feel like getting laid?"

".......I dont think I want to do that to her.......I .....I want her."

In mid sip, Jake's brows raised as he spit the contents of his beverage back in the bottle and leans forward, clearing his throat.

"......Like.......to date her?" Jake issues out in mid cough as he wipes his mouth.

".......I want to keep her...."

"........No shit?" Amused and displaying wide eyes, Jake stared at his friend, who paid no mind to him. He merely continued to stare down the narrow opening of his bottle and twirled it within his grasp.

".......How.....how interesting man.....that's very unlike you." Leaning back, Jake continues to face Heeseung as he notes the sudden change in his demeanor. Responding back with a low and quiet tone, Heeseung mumbles out his words, all before he finally, for the first time that night, looked over towards Jake and gave him a crooked smirk.

"Yea............it is."

Chuckling to himself, Jake found humor in recalling those moments when he saw the changes occurring within Heeseung. It was so strange how the moment when he saw her, he had looked so empty and found life dull and void.....but that all changed when he finally got her....nearly four months ago.

“Huh.....Going on four months now….damn, time does fly. I’m so happy for him though….its good for him….she’s….good for him.”

Noting the amount of time that had traveled since meeting the girl, Jake smirks as he replayed the events of when Heeseung had finally introduced her to both him and Sunghoon....and when the changes within him started to take effect.

……………………

Four months ago.....

*knock knock*

Hearing the seldom knock on his front door, the young man opens it to greet his longtime friend.

“What’s up? You made it.” He issues out.

“Yeah, traffic was a headache.”

“Oh yeah? Well dig into my fridge, got a variety in there.”

Peeking inside, Jake grabs a bottle from inside the refrigerator before settling down on the barstool.

“So, I took care of that one you texted me about. Man…..sometimes you gotta wonder just how some of these people exist. When I went to her home, bitch had like a photo album of all those women that she took part in helping that dude kidnap. That’s something I hadn’t even thought of doing, as fucked up I am in the head.” Jake chuckled out as he sips from the bottled beverage.

Overhearing the conversation from the next room, you listen as your wrists remained chained and tied overhead. Unsure of how long you had been in this massive apartment, you could count the times you had witness the sun setting between going in and out of sleep. You estimated that you had been here for a handful of days.

 Remaining still and calm, your ears picked up on every detail of the two men and their conversation.

“Yeah man, you remember all those women that disappeared within the last six months? The guy you killed was the one that murdered them, and his little accomplice had a whole photo album, with a map of where the bodies were buried and everything…like she was really proud of it. I mean, to have that many kills and avoiding capture, that is pretty impressive.”

“So I take it you took ‘good’ care of her?” Heeseung smirks as he pours himself a drink.

“Bro, I couldn’t find any means to stick my dick inside her, I was too disgusted by the way her voice sounded when she screamed. I just tossed her.”

“Ahh…my style. I guess my habits had been rubbing off on you more than I thought.”

Jake responds with a playful smirk towards Heeseung’s remark. “Hey hey! I might not be a pro like you, but I have gotten my hands dirty before. Remember that wench I caught? You know, the one with the little boy? You remember what I did with her, right?"

“Oh yeah…..where did you end up hiding her body at by the way?”

“I tied her to a pair of cement blocks and tossed her overboard from my dad’s boat, somewhere in the middle of Hybe Bay. Sharks probably got to her within the first hour, to be honest. I read it was a breeding spot for bullsharks.

“Huh…never thought about using that spot before. That’s pretty clever.”

Munching on a handful of peanuts from the bar counter, Jake twirls himself in half circles on the barstool with a sly smile on his handsome face.

“So….how’s your girl holding up? Is she a fan of your bachelor pad? Can we even call it that anymore?” He chuckles as he teases Heeseung after noting the flushed smile that appeared on his face.

“Haven’t really given her a tour…not yet. It’s only been about a week but I figured….let her rest and just settle down in the bedroom for a while before I start allowing her free rein inside the apartment.”

“Oh, I see. Yeah, I uh…noticed the new locking feature man, that’s pretty sweet.”

Walking up to the front door, the only means of entering and exiting the fiftieth story pad, Jake remarks the wonders of the finger padded locking system, which was also a key trait to not only securing the door, but to open it as well.

“So in order for you to open the door you have to use this finger pad?”

“Yep.”

“Huh….where did you get it?”

“Custom made by a locksmithing company that revolutionized the industry by inventing the whole system. Some dude that used to work for NASA owns the company, I think I have his card somewhere around here…”

You remained calm in the next bedroom, hearing everything allowed you to piece together the entire situation.

“….So I was rescued…from one killer by another? Please God….get me out of this. I’m so scared….why is this happening?”

The images in your memory of what your detainer, who told you his name was Heeseung, had done to your previous captor. Despite his intentions in saving you, you could hardly claim him to be the lesser of two evils….especially after what had followed after he brought you here. Yet you felt slightly conflicted, for if Heeseung hadn’t shown just in time, you would have been terribly mutilated and tortured to death. On the other hand, that day when he came and saved you, took and hid you away from the world, you had suffered greatly…..in a different manner.

…………………………….

“Let me fuck you….let me love you.”

Taglist: @nshmrarki , @lprww , @baekxo07 , @m7omo

Authors note:.....i had forgot to place in the taglist ......SMH.

[sortasirius]

"There Goes the Groom" and Buck's Queer Joy

Hey so...remember when I did post ep meta for two years? Anyway we're back like we've never left.

Best Hen <3

OBSESSED with micromanaging party planner Evan Buckley. The clipboard was there in spirit.

"You are late."

I'll take married for several years for $500, Alex.

"Ooo sliders."

"Ah ah. No."

"You didn't just do that." PLEASE

Tommy giving Eddie a bro-y high five and then a soft, sweet "hey" for Buck and a hug??? Fellas I might need to be sedated.

Also obsessed with the tinge of bitchiness in Eddie's tone. It's like jealousy without even realizing it's jealousy. And I think it's an interesting mix of "hey my best friend has a new friend" and something else that Eddie cannot label.

Ryan Guzman you must be studied for that little side eye lmfaoooo

I LOVEEEEE TOMMY HE'S SUCH A BITCH, he said I do not care for your party themes. Me for real.

Why were they all so obsessed with the sliders???? I love them all so much.

"Reach for them and you'll be pulling back a bloody stump." WITH THE RAISED EYEBROWS AND THE LITTLE HEAD TILT RYAN GUZMAN I AM KISSING YOU ON THE MOUTH.

"Wholesome, 80s-themed karaoke."

Buck was a party planner in another life and I stand by that.

"We should totally go as Crockett and Tubbs."

"Absolutely."

They are literally this meme:

The little shoulder rub that Buck gives Tommy <333333333333

The way Buck and Eddie are sitting during the party scene, Buck's arm absolutely SLUNG around his shoulder...yeah okay. Okay. I'm normal about this.

The whole party was two idiot best friends pointing at each other and saying "exactlyyyyyy." Yes, I would die for them.

I just want to say that every single thing about Chimney's journey this episode was heartbreaking and scary and I HATED that I didn't know what was going to happen to him the whole time. Ok thanks for your time.

From that guy stealing his car to every Doug jumpscare, I think they did a really good job freaking the audience (at least...me) the fuck out without actually revealing what had happened. Like..we know he's sick, we know something's wrong, but it was a well-paced episode, even if in my perfect world it would have been like two hours long lol.

And the fact that Maddie is always going to look for him, always going to find him, just like he would do for her...don't look at me I'm emo.

Chim essentially pushing the fact that he is actively dying from encephalitis to the side because being a paramedic and saving lives is so deeply ingrained in him it's something the can't forget? He's so important to me.

Then...Kevin. He's such a huge part of Chim's life, his arc, how he became a firefighter, and it essentially include him in the wedding (even though it was in a very scary way), I think it's a really great take on the idea that our loved ones who can't be there for milestones are there even when we can't see them, especially with his line "you invited me, remember?"

Doug was never there, but Kevin was, Kevin will be there even when Chim can't see him.

"I was trying to get back to you the whole time." THEY ARE EVERYTHING HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE THEM. ALL THEY'VE BEEN THROUGH, ALL THEY'VE HAD TO DO, AND THEY STILL FOUGHT FOR AND CAME BACK TO EACH OTHER!!!!

Bobby officiating and saying "and the Los Angeles Fire Department" THEY ARE A FAMILY!!!!

And then...perhaps one of thee most important scenes ever aired on television ever:

"Sorry I'm late, that fire was a beast."

"So are you."

And STRAIGHT in for a SERIOUS kiss??????? 911 writers room you can have my life, take it, it's already yours.

Tommy's little huff of surprise and then hum of "yeah okay I'm down for this." PUT THEM IN THE DICTIONARY NEXT TO THE CUTEST COUPLE OF ALL TIME

And last...Buck coming in to the room where his family, both blood and chosen, is, with soot all over his face, and a smile so bright that it had to have lit up the entire west coast, not caring who saw him or who knew exactly what he had just been doing...yeah, that's what this shit is all about.

EDDIE'S beautiful smile when he realizes how happy Buck is they are best friends FIRST and that is all that matters to me!!!

Hen being like "it's about damn time." SO TRUE QUEEN OF COURSE SHE KNEW!!!!!

I haven't really been able to put this into words yet, but the way they are handling Buck's bisexuality and his first relationship with someone of the same gender as him is just...it's almost astounding. It's been handled with such care, from Oliver to Lou to the writers to the NETWORK, everyone is so clearly fully onboard with this and not afraid of it.

And there's no pain here, his coming out is not born out of trauma or being forced or caught or guilty. Tommy made him feel something that he had never been able to put a name to, and Tommy is helping him figure it out. He's letting Buck be overeager without taking advantage, he's letting him move at his own pace (which, of course, is at light speed) but is also confident enough in himself to pump the brakes when he feels like he needs to.

I just can't get enough of that smile, of how fucking happy Buck is. Happy in himself, happy with Tommy, happy to finally have a name for who he is, and not be afraid to share it with the people he loves. His parents' reactions don't matter, because he knows the people that matter to him most won't care who he's with, as long as he loves them and they treat him well.

It's such a huge step for Buck, who has so often fallen prey to what other people might think, it's so refreshing to see him get to explore this without fear of what others will say. Tommy is a steady constant, experienced and knows who he is. He teases Buck and calls him Evan and flirts with him shamelessly, and it flusters him in the best way.

To see a character like Buck, who was, essentially, billed as straight from the beginning of the show, be able to come in to himself and experience real queer joy...wow. For me, it just can't be overstated.

I can't wait to see where Buck's journey goes, and I am just so...grateful to be able to watch it.

[name-less-666]

Stalker/secret admirer S/O x William draft

I'm sorry this is my first time writing and English is not my first language. Sorry again for the spelling error.

This idea has been stuck in my head, so hear me. So, basically, William has been receiving these mysterious letters, he thinks that these are just from works or the noble ladies wanting him or about him for his looks/ his intelligence (this happens when he was in his early 20s)

The letter is decorated with luxury, William thought it was from the noble until he opened it. It starts normally at first their handwriting is neat, and they state their admiration for his talent, William thinks of throwing this away because he thinks this is some normal letter that he receives regularly until 'they' start to talk about his crimes and him being the lords of crimes, how 'they' love how delicate his plans were and how he kills, so flawlessly without mistake 'they' explain like 'they' are in the crimes scenes with him, this began to freak William out.

He thinks this is some kind of prank from his teammates, but none of them has this kind of handwriting or has enough budget to buy this kind of luxury, by looking at the paper it looks like it got imported from another country. At least this secret admire state that 'they' are not going to tell anyone about him being the lord of crimes and his plans, but of course, William didn't quite believe. The letter did not have the address of where it came from, either. It just sent straight to his house.

William decides to not tell anyone about this, he doesn't want this to be a big deal, 'they' said they would not tell anyone, did they?

But this continues for years, letter after letter especially after his mission and crimes, 'they' praise him for how good he did, asking him if is he okay? Or did he get hurt during the mission?

{They always start the letters with

𝐓𝐨 𝐦𝐲 𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞, 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬

end with

𝐒𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐫, 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐚𝐝𝐦𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐫

Wax seal with morning glory flowers symbol.}

William feels like his secret admirer actually cares for him, or is this more like an obsession, and he feels grateful? This can not be true, why is he feeling like this, or maybe because no one truly cared about him like this before. 'They' know almost everything about him, his likes, his dislikes, his hobbies, even his past. 'They' know every movement he makes, or he's going to make. He would feel eyes watching him all the time. He would wake up in a middle the night before, he feel paranoid.

He usually ignored the letters or threw them away, but he couldn't help but read them because 'they' also knew information about the targets that he was planning to kill and some other useful information, making the mission easier for him and his team. 'They' even wrote him a good luck letter before going off on the mission.

William didn't know if he should consider 'them' as a threat or an ally He already told his brother and his member asked this secret admirer, his brother tried to help him find the culprit while the others like Moran, Fred, Jack, Bond even miss penny patrol around the manor for the Stalker but to no avail, they are worried about him, especially Louis, but they also can not throw the letters away because it contains valuable information.

˖⁺‧₊˚ ˚₊‧⁺˖✮-------------------✮˖⁺‧₊˚ ˚₊‧⁺˖

Not until one day, William was outside getting some fresh air, and suddenly it started raining out of nowhere (You know, the UK it can rain anytime or maybe all the time 💀.) He quickly runs for shelter in some café, without knowing someone is following him. While William is too busy trying to dry himself.

"Bad day, huh?"

William turns to the stranger beside him and just chuckles, "Yeah, it's raining cats and dogs out there"

"You're going somewhere? You look like you're in a hurry"

"Well yes, I was thinking of going back home my brothers are properly worried" He sighs, looking out into the rain calculating when it is going to stop raining.

"You know, you can take my umbrella and return to me after." The stranger handed him the umbrella, William tried to reject it at first, but the stranger stopped nagging him, so he finally took it.

Before William would leave, he asked the stranger's name. "What's your name?"

"Just called me 🅈 /🄽, it's a pleasure to meet you, sir....?"

"William, my name is William. Likewise, I promise I will bring back your umbrella in the same condition as you handed to me"

And like that, he runs off, heading to his home. After that interaction. The two start to see each other multiple times, some by chance, others are intended. William feels like he feels connected with this individual more than normal. They make him feel pleasant and delightful, and what did he do? He courts them, of course, but let's not forget about his secret admirer. The secret admirer knows that he has been seeing someone, but 'they' are not mad or mad at the person he courted, 'they' even congratulate him. That's weird, but William focuses on his affection for 🅈 /🄽.

˖⁺‧₊˚ ˚₊‧⁺˖✮-------------------✮˖⁺‧₊˚ ˚₊‧⁺˖

On one moonlit night, the two lovers are cuddling in the bed. 🅈 /🄽 are lying on the bed with William on top of them, they are playing with his hair, as his arms wrap around them. Seeing an expression on his face like he had something on his mind, they could not help but ask.

"Will, is something wrong?"

William snap out of his thought, "It's nothing, Love. Just work" Actually he is thinking about his plans as the lord of crimes, he never told his lover about his double life. He did not want them to get in trouble because of him. The other he is thinking about surprising is his secret admirer, 'They' stop sending him letters after he has a lover to maybe 'they' finals back down.

"You know... You don't have to keep the secret" They started tightening their hold around William, making him look up at them.

"I always support you... And, I always will, I love you... I love you before you even meet me." 🅈 /🄽 start to say how they love him and what they love about him, like in the letter William's secret admirer writes to him with the same eyes at been watch him at night.

William's face immediately turns to terror and a bit of betrayal, when he finally pieces everything together... No...please no, this can not be true, this is all part of 'their' plan.

𝐌𝐲 𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞, 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐞𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐨.

𝔑𝔬�� 𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔫 𝔡𝔢𝔞𝔱𝔥 𝔠𝔞𝔫 𝔭𝔲𝔩𝔩 𝔲𝔰 𝔞𝔭𝔞𝔯𝔱

(not even death can pull us apart)

{sorry if the ending feels rushed because it's like 6 am and i haven't slept the whole night 💀, thank you for reading!!! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡}

[messrmoonyy]

I just read your nsfw Headcannons for Tess and all I have to say is. Give. Me. The. Alley. Thing. Now. And no one gets hurt

The art of jealousy

Tess Servopoulos x Fem!reader

A/N- this request has been sat in my inbox since I first posted those Headcannons. Which was. A long time ago. I’m sorry. So here it is finally. Also the Headcannons being referred too are right here for anyone that wants to read them. Tess POV cause I really am loving giving a look into her head. I only proofread this once cause Tuesdays are becoming ever so slightly stressful for me so I just wasn’t vibing. So. Anyways. Enjoy.

Warnings- Tess lmao. Possessiveness, jealousy, she’s a lil rough at times but reader likes that, smut: fingering ( reader receiving), sex in a public place, choking, degradation

Word count- 3.8K

Masterlist

Reblogs and comments are always appreciated <3

If Tess was one thing, it was being possessive of shit that was hers. Maybe that was just a side affect- as it were- of the post outbreak world. No one had much that they could truly call theirs anymore. Tess had actually always found it quite interesting how attached people could be to their things. She’d never been the material type. Even pre outbreak she’d never been one for expensive jewellery, flashy cars or designer clothes. And she’d never really understood people’s obsession with it.

Material items took on new forms now. People these days valued things like boots. Or ration cards. Family photos they’d managed to hold onto for all this time. At least they were more practical now she guessed. But still, she wasn’t really one to be overly attached to things.

People too fell under that bracket. She straight up refused to let herself get attached to anyone once the outbreak hit. After losing her entire family within the first week of the outbreak she’d vowed to never let herself get close to anyone again.

And then you’d come along.

She hadn’t meant to fall in love with you. Fuck she’d actually ignored you for several months when she realised she might actually be feeling something for you. But you were persistent. And beautiful. And it was unbelievably irritating but you had a knack at kicking down the walls she’d built up over the years. Brick. By brick. And she had learnt that maybe she did have a possessive streak in her after all.

Because there was truly nothing she despised more than watching someone else flirting with you. And it happened a lot which wasn’t at all surprising. The majority of people she surrounded herself with knew not to mess around when it came to you. They knew that you were off limits. But occasionally someone new would poll their way into the underground scene of Boston, some attempt to establish themselves on the black market, and thoroughly piss her off.

Jealousy crept up on her more frequently than not, she couldn’t help it. She just didn’t like it. Seeing you around someone else.

She knew you weren’t about to run off with some random fuck who thought he could win you round with some ration cards. She had you wrapped tightly around her little finger, just as you had her. But still. It pissed her off.

“ are you hoping if you stare at the back of his head long enough he’ll just drop down dead? “ Joel’s southern drawl hit her ears and she flashed him an irritated look, before looking back over at you. You’d been striking up a deal with someone for over 10 minutes, some new fucker clearly bartering you down for the cost of some pills. But he was being too… touchy.

You were no stranger to flirting your way through deals and Tess had always been surprised at just how much you could raise the prices in trades just by simply… existing. Being a woman in the current climate had never been particularly great. And learning to use what you had to for your own advantages was vital.

‘ men think they’re getting something and they’ll be putty in your hands ‘ that’s what you had said once. And she wasn’t exactly against it, hell she was guilty of doing it herself. But it didn’t change how infuriating it was.

“ you know she won’t do shit. You got that girl eating out of the god damn palm of your hand “ Joel said with a laugh, chewing at a chunk of his rationed beef jerky and eyeing the hand of cards he was holding. Though Tess had long since lost interest in the game they were playing “ ask her to beg at your fuckin feet and she’d do it. Then again, you’d probably do it for her too “ A small smirk pulled at her lips with that. She knew it was true, of course. She trusted you whole heartedly, knowing you had zero interest in anyone else. Especially men. And no one on the entire planet could turn her head.

You were just as infatuated with her as she was with you. It was a mutual obsession that was no where close to burning out.

“ I know “

“ then drop the miserable look on your damn face and play your turn “ she rolled her eyes and took her eyes off of you for a few moments, looking back down at the cards in front of her. She played a card without even really looking at it, her eyes soon trailing back over to you again “ you are making this too damn easy for me “

She didn’t grant him with a response, eyes narrowing as she watched you exchange a half bag of pills for a wad of cards. Clearly more than you’d usually have sold them for, but her small proud smile didn’t last long.

The man stepped closer to you, head bowed as he said something in your ear. You gave a clearly over exaggerated laugh, arm on his shoulder. And she was certain she saw your eyes flick in her direction.

She huffed a laugh, sitting back in her chair and shaking her head in mild disbelief

“ the little shit “ Joel’s eyes drifted over to you too, his brow furrowed as they both watched you flirt with the man.

“ Jesus Christ “ Joel muttered, clearly thinking the same thing Tess was. You were doing it on purpose. Pushing her buttons “ don’t rise to it. It’s what she wants “

“ I know what she fuckin wants “ she narrowed her eyes, watching you across the courtyard as she attempted to continue the game with Joel.

“ hey Tess. How you doin? I was wondering if you had an- “ the sound of one of her customers filled her ears as she kept her eyes trained on you.

“ not now “ she said with a wave of her hand, not even looking up to see who was stood there

“ but- “

“ not. Now “

“ okay okay. That’s cool. Yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow? Cool cool “ Joel sighed as the man shuffled off sheepishly

“ you’re forfeiting sales now? Will you just go talk to her “ she was tapping her fingers against the table impatiently now. Jealousy and anger swimming in her veins in a dangerous cocktail.

You were always the same. A fucking brat. Pissing her off to get your own way. And she knew exactly what you were trying to get out of her. Piss her off, wind her up, drive her insane so that the second you both got home she’d pin you down against the closest surface and remind you exactly who was in charge for as long as it took for the message to sink in.

But she was in no mood to wait until you got home. If you needed a little reminder of just who wore the trousers in your relationship, she’d remind you. And she’d remind you sooner rather than later.

One more gentle touch of your hand to the man’s chest followed by a glance in her direction was the last nail in the coffin. And she was tossing her cards down on the table.

“ Tess- “ she was up and out of her metal chair before he could finish his sentence, crossing the courtyard in purposeful strides, someone hopping out of her path as she went.

“ are you fuckin done? “ she asked in a low voice as she reached you, throwing a glare towards the man seemed confused at her sudden appearance

“ oh hi Tess “ you said innocently “ everything okay? “ the man took a step back, eyes widening as he looked between the two of you

“ you’re?- I didn’t know- “ she quite enjoyed watching people crumble under the weight of her reputation. Especially men.

“ if you have any idea what’s good for you, you’ll take your pills. And fuck off” she turned to you then “ and you. Come with me “ she walked off before waiting for a response from either of you, making a beeline for the back alley leading out of the courtyard. No one would bother her down there, the only entrance that lead from that way was the one from anyone coming from outside the wall. Which wasn’t very often.

She didn’t have to look behind her to know you’d be following. Even when you were in the mood to piss her off you were still desperate to please.

So she waited a few moments and then you appeared, strolling into the alley like you didn’t have a single care in the world. And she was reaching the limits of her patience.

She grabbed you by the wrist and pushed you back against the wall, hiding effectively behind a stack of wooden crates.

“ you okay Tess? You seem a little tense today “ god you were infuriating. She laughed and shook her head, trapping you against the wall with a hand resting beside your head.

“ the fuck was that back there? Huh? “ confusion twisted into your features, but the smirk tugging at your lips gave it away that you weren’t even remotely confused by her question. You knew exactly what you’d done “ you think it’s funny? “

“ I don’t know what you’re talking about”

“ oh you don’t? “

“ I was just making a trade. You’re a little scary you know, the new ones always prefer to come to me. You should smile a little more “ you reached up and poked at her face lightly “ I think you scared my customer away “

“ good. He needs to keep his fuckin hands to himself “

“ shame. He was quite nice “ the little monster that lived in her chest was trying to claw its way out, a pointless feeling of jealousy threatening to overwhelm her. It truly was pointless. She knew you were toying with her. You were playing her like a violin, messing with her to get what you wanted.

“ wanna go back out to him? Be my fuckin guest “ she knew you wouldn’t. Knew she had you exactly where you wanted to be. Though a small part of her did wonder if you would. Just to piss her off a little more.

“ you should know by now I’m not into the nice type “ she exhaled shortly through her nose and gave a small nod. She knew. Tess was not one for softness and romance. Yeah, from time to time it would slip out. But that’s not what you wanted from her. It’s why you worked together so well.

Her fingers brushed over the exposed skin of your neck, almost annoyed at the lack of purple and red marks she found. Maybe that was why the fucker back there had been so willing and accepting to your loaded advances. How could she have been so careless. To let her possessive marks vanish. Her clear silent brand that you were spoken for.

“ you don’t think I’m nice? “

“ there’s different meanings to different people “ she couldn’t help herself and dropped her head down to your neck, the blank expanse of your skin frustrating her. You tilted your head to give her access to more of you, attacking the blank canvas of flesh with her teeth “ see. Nice girls don’t behave like this. You taught me that “ she laughed against your skin, biting a little harder than she really needed to. Just to hear the delicious sound it would draw from you.

She knew she wasn’t nice. Not in the conventional sense. But you didn’t want nice. You didn’t want a cosy and warm relationship, soft forehead kisses and vanilla sex, cruising along in life and abiding by the rules.

You wanted her. You wanted the way she was rough, she was all teeth and bruises and hair pulls. She threw you around and left you wrecked for anyone else but her. And she knew that was how you were. She knew that was what you wanted. What you needed. Needing some kind of reminder that you were real, that the fucked up mess of the world around you wasnt a nightmare. You needed her to bring you back to life. And she was more than happy to oblige.

“ so what? You gonna take me home? “ she didn’t quite know when exactly she had decided she wasn’t going to take you home. The idea had arisen quite suddenly and she’d decided to act on it just as fast, quite certain she didn’t actually have it in her to take you all the way home. Not when she was so wound up.

That paired with the smugness still interlacing between the syllables of your words… she had a point to prove.

“ no “ you gave her a confused look and now it was her turn to smirk “ you act like that and think you get to choose if we go home or not? Gotta be fuckin kiddin me baby “ she leant in close to your face, her hand moving up and applying pressure to your throat. She felt your breath stutter, your fingers wrapping around her wrist. Not so cocky anymore.

“ Tess someone might- “

“ what? You were okay with behaving like some common fuckin whore out there in front of everyone, but not here for me? Breaking my fuckin heart “ she liked the way you seemed to lose all of your cockiness in an instant. She practically watched it drain from your features.

“ I wasn’t doing shit I was working “ Tess quirked a brow and smiled, fingers moving to unbutton your jeans. The second her fingers slipped into your underwear and she felt how wet you were, her smile grew. She wondered if you knew how much she truly loved how easy it was to make you wet. How much it turned her on just to have you so willingly at her mercy, how much you so clearly wanted to be used by her even if you attempted to deny it.

“ I’m not stupid. I know what you were doing. You think I didn’t know this is what you wanted? “ a soft moan slipped past your lips as she dragged your arousal up and slowly circled your clit “ you wet for me or that fucker back there? Huh? “

“ what do you fuckin think? “ Tess raised her eyebrows and shook her head, not the biggest fan of your tone of voice. Your breath hitched as she set herself into a steady rhythm, losing your cool and cocky demeanour as she worked you into a mess. It never took her long. She could read you like a book and knew how and where to touch you to have you melting in minutes.

“ the attitude on you sweetheart “ she increased the speed of her fingers, applied more pressure to your neck. She watched the way your eyes fluttered closed, loving the way the light headed bliss washed over you “ that’s it baby, can’t talk back now can you “

Your eyes fell onto hers as she slipped two fingers into you, not bothering to ease you into it with one. You were wet enough for it, she knew.

“ fuck- “

“ you think you’re so powerful don’t you? Thinking you can fuck around like that? Look at you now “ she kept her voice low, in that tone that she knew you loved. That made your velvety walls flutter against the fingers she was thrusting in and out of you roughly “ do you think they all know back there? That you’re back here with me getting fucked like a little slut? Do you? “

You whimpered out an answer your nails digging painfully into the skin of her wrist

“ I’m sorry “ your whimpers and whines were cute but she found it mildly funny that you thought they would make her go easy on you. She was only getting started.

“ not good enough “ her thumb applied pressure to your clit and you moaned loudly at the feeling “ acting like you’re so big. So bad. But who’s the one getting fucked in an alley? What do you think they’d say if they saw you now? Saw you a pathetic mess having your cunt stretched out by my fingers? Hmm? “

“ I- I said I’m sorry. I’m- fuck “

“ you should be. I look after you, I take care of you. And yet you behave like that? Such a spoiled little brat. You want more? I bet you want more don’t you “ your moans were increasing in pitch and she was a little cautious of being caught, but she was far too preoccupied by you to care completely. By the own arousal pooling in her belly, she didn’t need to be touched to get off. Watching you fall apart at her hands was enough

“ yes. Yes. More “ you begged. She loved hearing you beg.

“ greedy girl “ she glanced down at her hand that was hidden in your jeans and smiled, adjusting the slightly awkward angle and carefully adding a third finger to the mix. You winced at the new stretch and she gave you a moment before continuing her movements.

“ fuck Tess “ the sounds falling from your mouth mixed with the sopping sound of your cunt stretching around her fingers was almost too distracting, fighting the urge to stop and take you home so she could fuck you properly.

You were getting louder, even when she stifled your sounds for a moment with a more firm grip on your throat. When she could feel your pulse hammering beneath her finger tips.

“ nice and quiet. Or do you want them all to hear you? Is that what you want? “ it’s what she wanted. Deep down. A part of her desperately wanted people to hear, to remind everyone and anyone that thought they had a chance with you to back off. But a louder part of her was yelling at her, that she didn’t want anyone finding you both there. So you’d have to quiet down “ quiet “ she warned.

She sighed in mild annoyance when you didn’t listen.

“ sorry I- I can’t- “ so she clamped her hand down over your mouth and shook her head in disappointment. Though internally she was unbelievably fucking smug, very much getting off on the fact that you couldn’t control yourself. Because of her. You were a whimpering, shuddering wreck because of her.

She wondered if she should have planned this a little more thoroughly before executing it. If she could’ve roped Joel into dragging the man you had been flirting with down that alley too. Forced him to watch. Get a couple of hits in to really cement the fact. That you were hers. No one else’s. You weren’t to be touched. Or looked at. Or even thought about but anyone but her.

In an ideal world where she didn’t act on impulse and actually planned that exact moment, that’s what would have happened. Maybe she’d have even taken you some place more secluded. Where she didn’t have to force you to be quiet, where she could let you be loud. Let that bastards ears be filled with you moaning her name. The wet sounds of your cunt soaking her fingers.

He’d never get to have you like that. He’d never get to feel the way you clenched on her fingers, the way your inner walls were so soft. No one would. Only her.

But maybe that was for another time. In that moment she was quite pleased with herself, pleased with the way she had you whimpering into her one hand and dripping all over the other.

She wished you could see how pathetic you looked there for her, squirming in her hold, eyes rolling to the back of your head as she pushed you closer the edge. Her hand across your mouth, neck covered in fresh hickeys, your arms grazing against the brick wall.

“ I don’t want you acting like that anymore. You understand me? “ she curled her fingers as she said it, pressing at the spot she knew sent you spiralling. That she knew would render you unable to respond, that gave you that wonderful blank look in your eyes when all you could think about was her. Exactly as she wanted you. You nodded your head, eyes falling closed “ I can’t have you showing me up like that again“

She couldn’t. She didn’t need people seeing you treat her like a pushover, so easily able to walk all over her. She was in charge. She had the control. You were hers

“ who do you belong to? “ she asked you, moving her hand down from your mouth and gripping at your chin “ who? “

“ you “ you said breathlessly, your chest heaving and grip on her wrist tightening. She knew you well enough to know when you were almost there, recognised the sounds. The look in your eyes. The way you tightened around her fingers.

“ say it again”

“ fuck- “ she was a little cautious of how loud you were being again but she wanted to hear you say it, needed you to say her name and feed the jealous creature sitting in her chest.

“ say it or I swear I will leave you here like this “ she threatened “ say my name baby “

“ Tess “ you gasped, voice high and breathy “ Tess. You I belong to you please- “ she smiled and gave a small nod.

“ that’s my girl “ she moved her hand back over your mouth as you came, whining loudly even muffled by her fingers “ you fuckin remember that yeah? You’re mine “ she said against your ear as she worked you through it, coming over her fingers “ all mine “ she kept going, only withdrawing her fingers when you slumped against her. Legs shaking and chest heaving as you caught your breath.

She dropped her hand from your mouth, eyes scanning your face and an overwhelming smugness settling over her at your fucked out appearance.

“ did I make myself clear? “ she asked quietly, thumb brushing over your lips.

“ crystal “ she pressed a soft kiss to the corner of your mouth before letting you go and taking a step back, running a hand through her hair as she looked at her handiwork. It was clear as day what had just happened and she took great pride in the fact that you would walk back into that courtyard, and everyone would know. Bruises were blooming on your throat, your cheeks were flushed, lips swollen from your teeth sinking into them, hair dishevelled.

“ I’ll let you get back to work then shall I? “ she said with a smile as if it were the most normal thing.

“ you fuckin kidding me? “ she shrugged and leant forward to press a kiss to your cheek “ just keep your hands to yourself this time “ then she stepped back and made her way back to Joel, almost sauntering her way back to the table where he was still sat.

The cat who had gotten the cream.

“ you are fuckin unbelievable “ he muttered with a shake of his head as she sat back in her chair, arms folded over her chest and eyes locked on the entrance to the alleyway waiting for you to appear.

“ deal me some new cards Texas “ he shook his head with a sigh but gathered up the cards again as you re appeared. You had tried to make yourself look more presentable by the looks of things, but even if people could excuse the flushed look of your cheeks or the glazed look in your eyes. There was no escaping the freshly bloomed artwork she’d left on your neck.

She’d like to see anyone try it on with you now.

[el-moscorrofio-y-el-mercachifle]

Hiiiiiiii, I'm so happy that you're active here again, you're one of my favorite accounts and the one I like to follow the most 😭☺️🫵🏻

What are your favorite headcanon or non canon (sorry if I wrote it wrong) from the plot? In fact, I read those posts you made about the canon of the novel, and you forgot to mention one. In the following episode or in a few episodes after Betty presents the real balance, Mario greets Marcela in the Ecomoda, she makes a joke about him being a great writer (because of the story of the letter with instructions), and says that he would be the best man at her wedding to Armando.

I'm practically 100% sure that this scene really happened and that I saw it, I'm not crazy lol but if it was another dialogue or I'm wrong, someone please let me know.

Hiiii!! I'm so glad you like my little blog🥰🥰🥰

I think I got slightly confused with your question, but I'll give you both my fav canon details (things that actually happened in the show) and my fav headcanons (things that aren't in the show but I totally wish they were!):

For the actual canon:

Patty trying to burn her ex's car. As if we needed any more proof that she's wrong in the head lmao

Betty and Armando both loving jazz and canonically quoting poems to each other!

Armando and Mario have been friends since they were in school!

Mario has such a phobia of kids that he straight up refused to meet family members until they were at least like 10 years old lmaoooo

Armando, a guy obsessed with order or cleanliness, nibbles on objects when anxious or stressed

Daniel does this too, and also bites his nails, btw

Daniel gives candy to Marcela everytime he sees her!

Armando's glasses and tie represent him. When he takes the glasses off, he's being vulnerable. When he takes the tie off, he's in a pretty bad mental state

Somewhere in Ecomoda's digit archives is a 9 pages word document detailing everything that happened between Daniel and Patricia and how Olarte and her caused damage to Betty's computer. The fact that it exists to this day and no one ever found the truth tortures me lmao

As for my favorite headcanons! They're just little things I kinda think could be true about the characters but nothing was ever said or full states about it:

Nicolás can't cook at all, not even a simple scrambled egg, but he makes the best bread ever. Literally the only reason I think this is because his mom has a bakery

Margarita and Roberto were a little similar to Marcela and Armando when young (much younger than Marcela and Armando were during the show, which is why they're frustrated that they haven't outgrown that reckless "phase"). My only reason to like this idea is that Margarita insists that Marcela needs to be patient and wait and that men will always need a refuge and get tired eventually, like she knows what she's talking about; like she knows what that's like. Roberto also seems to cough a little uncomfortable when Margarita and him are talking to Armando and she says something about how she would have left Roberto if he had hired a hot secretary or something along those lines lmao and Ik thinking that Roberto was a womanizer in his youth is so weird because he seems such a down to earth mature man, but believe me, you'd be surprised how much a former womanizer can change with age lmao

Armando was very good with sports, and he specially liked contact ones like boxing

Marcela was definitely the type of little girl who waited besides the front door and jumped excitedly when she saw her dad come home. We know she was her dad's favorite, that's canon

Margarita and Susana were away for a big part of their children's childhood. I think this because Roberto says that during the early days of Ecomoda, Margarita and Susana were in charge of the interior design and the design of the collections, and also that they traveled a lot

Armando was a very troubled teenager. My reason to think this is that, well, just look at how he is in the novela, and now imagine him with all the raging hormones of a teen, probably slightly absent parents, and an underdeveloped frontal lobe lmaoooo

The Valencias' parents died when Marcela, Daniel, ans Beata were kids. I like this better than them dying when the Valencia's are adults. This is technically canon but also not because the novela literally onlh mentions their deaths in relation to their kids' age TWICE and ysblf still managed to contradict itselfffffff. But I like to think that Julio qnd Susana died when their kids were little because it would explain a lot of their kids' behavior: Daniel, after losing his parents at a young age and being the oldest and only male in the family, he tried to grow up too quickly which is why even when he actually became an adult he's pretty much a charicature of what a 13 yo would think as mature: very serios, snarky, sarcastic, apparently stoic, rude, overly sexual, etc. He pretty much got stuck as a teen. Marcela, being a daddy's girl and losing him so young, she became unheathily attached to Armando. Maria Beatriz, being so young when her parents died, just ignores the whole thing and has no big sentimental attachment to Ecomoda or the family in general like Marcela does.

Armando was a big source of comfort when Marcela's parents died. I like to think this because a) we know they've known each other their whole lives, b) Armando can actually be affectionate and tender with Marcela, as we see only like once at the very beginning of the show, and c) strictly related to my hc above, I think it could be in part how she found refuge in Armando when kids after her parents died that she became so obsessily attached

Armando and Marcela were an on-and-off/ situationship thing for years. Not like actual bf/gf, but more like that awkward tension and perhaps a few kisses here and there, some hand holding, all of that. Armando probably also wasn't sure about formalizing the relationship for a long, long time, and it also probably took a lot of convincing from Roberto and Margarita to finally take that step

So yeah! Those are a few canon and headcanons that I like a lot hahaha! Thank you for this lovely question!

[imustbenuts]

Seadall, localization, food, EABS culture, and discussion of Eating Disorder. Trigger Warning.

tl;dr: Seadall is pandering to an East Asian Beauty Standard, technically does not have eating disorder, but is bordering on Disordered Eating, and both the writers and localizers know it.

Our first official male dancer of FE has a bit of a obsession over controlling his diet to a concerning degree. But is it actually an Eating Disorder? No, I don't think so. From my pov, this has everything to do with his job, a Dancer and the dreaded East Asian Beauty Standard (EABS).

EABS idealizes the fair skinned (asian colorism rAAAAGH), the lean and thin. Any level of fats or flaps are no good and is considered undesirable, or worse, a sign of one's gluttonous and even slothful character. IRL, that sentiment has become less pervasive, less judgemental and less awful than 10 years ago, but it's still around. Hell, it's in our Fire Emblems! Average out the body shapes of all dancers or even characters in FE and you'll see what I mean.

(are you in hell yet.)

This EABS is especially prevalent in 1 genre of media that comes pouring out of Japan and Korea... The Pop Idol scene. In Japan, the idol industry can be traced back to the 1960s, and though it has propped up the EABS, this standard's roots goes FURTHER back to even pre-colonialism era, to China and the Tang Dynasty where willowy female bodies were ideal. (That's 618-907AD.)

And when I say EABS, I will include the surrounding countries outside of Japan too. Similarities in culture and all that. Hence East Asian. (Don't be mistaken though. South East and South Asia also has to deal with this shit.)

But hey. I'm still talking about female EABS, right? Where does Seadall fall into this?

Uhhhh. Jumpscare. Surprise K-pop.

(ps i dont know k-pop as well so idk who these ppl are im sorry waaaaug)

Dancers and the Idol Industry

It's easier to see on the female side, but uh, that specific body shape is often achieved through extreme dieting. The body fat % is so low that the dancer's lower ribcage can be seen. Before shooting the dance or a performance, these idol's agencies will notify them to slim down to a certain goal, like say drop 2kg (4.4 lbs) or 4kg (8.8 lbs) in x time, and this is typical. Guys here are no exception.

Weight is manufactured. Looks to some extent (plastic... surgery....). The clothes too, are intentionally picked. Exposing the belly is common since it's the quickest indicator of skinniness.

But hey, I actually lied about the dieting part. It's not really dieting as it's actually straight up starvation, tbh. To lose that weight, the dancers/idols will often eat as little as some protein shake, a few fruits and maybe potato for fiber. Yes, it's as hellish as it sounds, and no, these people are unable to fully function with a calorie intake like this. Source for this claim will be in a video at the bottom of the post by youtuber chaebin n out, titled "How K-POP Destroys Your Body". So.

W̵͓͍̏͝e̴͉̾ḽ̷͈͐ĉ̶̠̝͋ö̶̤́m̷̲̒ê̶̬ ̶̧̅ṭ̷̘͑͑ö̵͇́ ̸̛͖̑h̵̳̿͝ė̶͕͉l̵̜͖̇͗ḻ̶̑!̴̪͊̉

Ok, but that's K-pop. What about J-pop?

Japan, where FE rolls out from, have J-pop, which is slightly different. J-pop idols also suffer from EABS but afaik it's not as extreme. Many contemporary J-pop idol groups like Atarashii Gakko!(left) and Babymetal(right) also Do Not make thinness a major selling point with their costuming. This is usually done through hiding the midriff, where belly fat most easily forms. (EABS is still in effect though, don't be mistaken! There could be just as extreme cases out there I'm not aware of ;_;)

So it seems like people kind of agree that obsessing about weight and developing body image issue is messed up.

Hopefully now I've established what is going on irl for Seadall's influences, and what is considered normal or extreme. Relatively anyway. (I hate EABS so much hhggr)

Let's detour to...

Food! Staples! What's normal?

An average meal in Japan consists of a variety of veggies, tofu and a serving of protein, which results in lower fat intake. Also, RICE is a major staple in these meals, so assuming the writers are approaching it with the best intentions, and how Engage's normal might appear to native Japanese audiences, JP Seadall's worry only seems to be on oily food intake and is not overly concerning to me.

In fact, here is an example of a staple set meal (teishoku) I ate over there last December. Yum yum:

Overall a very lean meal. So it's likely Seadall eats something similar-ish and not just greens.

Another important point is that in (East) Asia/Japan, oily food is seen as unhealthy and contributes greatly to cholesterol. This aversion to oily food is driven somewhat by EABS and... Health. I also promise most people are actually chill about this. ...Most people! Meat is yummy! Gyukaku and Ikinari Steak is popular and popping! That's why Seadall likes it after all.

So this is where Seadall's writing starts to contrast. For the most part in the EN version, he only worries about meat. In JP, it's technically oily food, which meat falls under, and he's worried about putting on weight.

Why the extreme worry tho...?

The logic for why all these matters so much to him is this: if a dancer is surrounded by other dancers who are reinforcing this EABS (mirroring the standards of the real world), then their only choice to stay relevant and keep their job is to commit to the same dietary choice and uphold the same EABS, or even have a EABS outperforming the standard.

Because a Dancer's job, or rather, Seadall's job is to pander to people's ideals of beauty. Hence his supports where hair and skin and food becomes a topic.

If he fails the standard, according to the J-pop and K-pop industry, he kind of fails at his job. Is it fair? Fuck no, but no matter what opinion we may think of the standard as outsiders, it remains that there is a LOT of social conditioning and manufacturing going on leading to... all of that. I scream too. I scream a lot, internally.

So what does Seadall look like to someone in this East Asian sphere...?

To the writers credit, they do push for Seadall to indulge more food that makes him happy for at least his mental well-being through the other characters.

This also happens to fall in line with Engage's low key theme of cherishing the moment.

With all I've explained, Seadall might come across as warning to those who over-worry about oily food consumption and trying to pander to an EABS to... chill the fuck out. That it's ok to just go eat some delicious yakiniku if you want to! Go off! If a female character who is concerned with this comes across as too vain, then let's have a guy do it and hope the point lands for the (potentially female) players.

And with all these missing context, it's very easy for one who isn't clued into this sphere assume that Seadall has some eating disorder or that the writers are advocating it. I don't think that's happening here at all. The localizers likely are aware of this missing context and have toned it down several levels for EN release. Wise move, tbh.

(progressiveness can be relative btw. something to keep in mind @_@)

So, is Seadall coming close to some kind of Disordered Eating? Possible. From what I see I think the writers are trying to push Seadall away from it, and trying to stop it from becoming a full blown Eating Disorder. Personally, again, I don't think he has an Eating Disorder.

However! Your Mileage May Vary. I only hope for my opinion and understanding to help inform others, not override it. What's normal for me isn't for everyone, and vice versa, but it's important to remember where Fire Emblem originates from.

And here's the last thing I promised: the video essay if you really want to dive into it:

And that's about it.

Hope this was interesting! Thanks for reading. 😄

EDIT: the Chinese net sphere is the exception to all of this, EABS is especially bad there

[reitheist]

The way I'm seeing Bucchigiri so far is that the Honki people feel coded as homosexual and as a kid Arajin was really into being like that. But he was never open with that to anyone but his one friend, who was supportive and bonded with him over it. And in trying to defend that, that friend got mercilessly attacked while Arajin just ran away. So the way that Arajin so desperately avoids even Matakara is that he feels like that lifestyle reminds him of both that danger and his own personal weakness. And so he finds it safer to overcompensate by trying to act 110% straight.

ooh this is an interesting reading! i've thought about how fighting=an act of love in this show, but honki people=homosexuality could fit quite well into ara's character arc and relationship with matakara.

given how arajin is the protagonist of a brawling show, I think it would extremely strange for arajin to completely reject his childhood desire to become a honki person by the end. they've definitely played up his refusal of the call so far, so i think we're going to see ara stepping up into his fighting anime protagonist role. if we assume that fighting, in the language of bucchigiri, is an expression of true self/feelings, i think we're definitely in for some kind of reciprocity of matakara's feelings on ara's part. i will be very surprised if we don't get an arajin x matakara fight by the end.

arajin has obviously buried his feelings about his past very deep and has tried to pivot his life in a completely opposite direction. I wouldn't be surprised if it's revealed that his obsession with dating is due in part to his trauma surrounding fighting; possibly him trying to emulate what a normal teenager does instead of 'embracing his true self' (ie. becoming honki). if this is how the story goes, there will be a definite queer reading to be had.

allegorically, the story would read as: young matakara is beaten up for being queer, arajin sees this and knows being queer is dangerous, he runs away and tries to compensate for his queerness by acting 110% hetero, matakara meets back up with him years later and tries to bond with ara over queerness, ara soundly rejects him and tries to distance out of shame, and ara (assumingly) learns by the end that being queer isn't shameful and embraces that part of himself (i.e. becomes a honki person.)

this all makes me a bit curious how mahoro's character is going to be dealt with going forward. i think there's a few things they're likely to do with her:

get over her brocon stuff and get with arajin at the end as his 'prize' for finally accepting his role as a fighter

arajin's moved on from focusing on girls by the end, mahoro gets with matakara

remain brocon to the very end

get over brocon stuff, become friends with arajin

i'm not a fan of option 1, i find it boring and a disservice to ara's and her character. i think option 2 is plausible given the romantic trope-y type scenes we've been seeing between matakara and mohoro, plus them bonding a little over their brothers. however, neither of them seem really interested in each other during those scenes beyond caring that other knows arajin. these scenes seem superficially romantic to me. i'm not really a fan of this ship so i wouldn't enjoy this outcome and i find it a boring thing to do with mahoro. option 3 sucks, but it wouldn't do damage to any other character at least? option 4 is my ideal outcome. it would allow mahoro to finally function outside of being in love with her brother and be a 'look how he's matured' moment for arajin.

there are a few appealing other options (like giving her a kickass majin) that i would personally love the show to pull off, but unfortunately i don't think bucchigiri is going to do them with their limited run of 6 eps left. i'll be super excited if it proves me wrong, though.

sorry for the rambling here, thanks for giving me something to think about anon!

[achaotichuman]

It went right over my head when I read it before but it’s wild to think you were an IC fan before 🤯

Some of the awful years.

Y’all will flip at this, but here were my thoughts on the Acotar cast when I was fresh in the fandom.

Rhysand- Liked him, didn’t feel as bad for him as others did but I knocked that down to me just straight up not being attracted to him. I started hating him in Acosf tho. I hadn’t read Acosaf because I thought it a waste of time. But if I had seen those scenes before Silver flames then I would’ve probably hated him sooner.

Feyre- I thought she was really fucking annoying. Especially in her scenes with Nesta. Not much can be said for her because Feyre was more of a device to see through. But I would be the last to advocate for her. Obviously that has changed drastically.

Morrigan- Liar. First thing that comes to mind. She seemed like a white girl who peaked in highschool so I just didn’t like her.

Amren- She was my favourite character second to Nesta. Solely for the reason we now had a morally grey character that actually acted like an unapologetically bad person when she wanted to. This has severely changed. Also literally two lines into her introduction I was screaming Valg King. Amren is a Valg King no one can change my mind. That part hasn’t changed.

Cassian- I was a die hard Cassian fan. I loved this man. I swear to God I would have gone to war for him. I was also die hard nessian. Obviously that has also changed, for the better in my opinion.

Azriel- I cannot physically express how much I hated Azriel. He was quite literally my least favourite character, I wanted him dead. I was hoping every single page that he would be killed off. He was there for vibes and vibes only. Since Azris I am a changed man, but sometimes I just can’t stand him.

Nesta- My Queen. My Lady. My wife. My mirror. She made me feel seen and heard. I love this woman and I always will.

Elain- No opinions on her. I figured pretty quickly she would be a bigger factor later on but I had no opinions on her. I am very pro Elain now, but in canon I just don’t really trust SJM with her. Which is also why my only solid ship with her is Gywnlain. I am very anti Elriel, always was.

Lucien- My heart and soul. I was obsessed with this man. I wanted to wrap him up and hold him close. Still do.

Eris- I didn’t understand the hype in Acowar but come silver flames and I was diving deep into this man. Trying to undo every cryptic word. I developed a very deep love for him. One that has only grown.

Tamlin- Felt sorry for him, but overall I had no strong opinions. I really wanted Acotar back. In the first book I would have probably given up a kidney for him, then it went down slowly. In Acowar however I was defending this man left and right. By Acosf I wanted more Tamlin.

Then I started to deep dive into the characters and their arcs. This was before I joined Tumblr. And the more I read the more convinced I was that in the next book the IC was going to have a falling out because their dynamics made no sense to me. They looked like they were slowly breaking, and Rhysand was very shortly put on my anti list.

But I never made a big fuss about my thoughts because if I did I got attacked really fuckin quickly.

Then I joined Tumblr and found a great community where I could hate and be supported.

Love you guys to death. Thanks to all of you I get to be in my Pro Tamlin, anti IC world and I am so glad I get to be here.

Edit- I was also extremely closeted when I first read Acotar and that definitely had its affect on my opinions on some of the characters.

[lesbiankordian]

ID in alt

I've been thinking much abt this page. fukuzawa was so close to killing fukuchi, literally had his blade to fukuchi's throat. but when he says he can't do it, fukuchi is rather quick to accept it. his expression went from this

ID in alt

to what you see at the top. he says it's no matter about something he's been planning for 36 years. I'd like to note that he only speaks after fukuzawa says he's sorry. he stays quiet when fukuzawa says he can't do that, and yes it may be bc of the shock, but the fact he spoke only after fukuzawa took the blame really makes me think it's significant. fukuchi says "no", bc fukuzawa doesn't have anything to be sorry for. what's more, he says he understands and understanding is one of the most important things in their relationship, it's one of the reasons why things look like they do now. fukuchi felt like fukuzawa didn't understand what he went through during the war, fukuzawa didn't get his request back then and doesn't agree with the current one either, both of them have different approaches to working alone and in a group. understanding is key in their relationship and especially important to fukuchi. and that's why him saying that and diminishing the significance of his plan in the previous sentence is so schocking for me.

does it mean that fukuchi finally really understood his plan isn't as good as he thought and that fukuzawa doesn't want to kill him and be the leader? i'd so love to say yes, but i don't believe such change is possible in a second. but there must be at least a gramme of it, otherwise what does his expression mean? because i doubt it's a "i have to resort to plan b which is teruko kills me in front of fukuzawa" face as that would detract from how tragic this scene is. fukuchi wanted to trick fukuzawa to be the leader, yes, but only using fukuzawa's hands. but if he really planned teruko would kill him, then i believe that's a face of guilt and even more sadness.

fukuzawa looks SO faint. normally, even if the situation is really stressful, his posture is straight and he always looks ahead. and yet here we can't see his eyes, his head is downward and he's literally swaying. he apologises through gritted teeth. if i saw those panels out of context and didn't know bsd, i'd never guess fukuzawa was apologising for not killing him. that's how people look when their loved one dies, not when they can't kill them. and so him looking actually sorry just makes me even more obsessed with them, bc it means that even though fukuzawa doesn't agree with fukuchi's plan and doesn'y want to kill him, he still understands (understanding...) it's important to fukuchi.

ALSO FUKUCHI WHAT DID YOU WANNA SAY AFTER "I UNDERSTAND"??? PLEAASE I HAVE TO KNOW. feeling like when dazai didn't finish his stupid speeches

[rainbowwinedemon]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers (except me because obvs I have done it). Spread the self-love ❤

Arsgsggsg I LOVE THIS (maybe bc i'm a little narcissistic)

First one gotta be lovelorn and nobody knows for the HP fandom (jeverus ship actually) is a sequel for too divine for human minds exploring what happens three years after they find out they're soulmates (in this au, soulmates can read each other minds). It had my favorite paragraph I've ever written:

That was probably his favorite summer to the date. Them exploring the woods and Severus getting sidetracked picking ingredients to experiment, going into town and taking walks while holding hands, spending the night outside with Severus sleeping on his lap while he enjoyed the warm summer breeze, swimming in the river to cool down from the heat, and then making love by the shore.

I pictured this as a film reel when I wrote it, and I was soo happy with the end result. Good. I love it so much.

Second goes to i slipped, then i could break the habbit (Joukai). That fic took over my head. I sat down and wrote whole first section in like two hours, then spent a whole day sitting in front of my laptop just so I could finish it. I actually had to cut it short. The last two sections where supposed to be full fledged sex scenes, but it was getting too long, it probably would've gotten up to 10~11k if I kept writing. I loved how it ended, so I guess I made the wrote decision. Here's one of my favorite parts:

He pulls away, Kaiba had his bottom lip against his teeth, his eyes blink open when he realizes Jounouchi stopped kissing him. He smiles a little, rocking him a bit on his lap. “Hi,” he says. “Hello,” Kaiba replies.

I'm not good at kiss scenes, but this was just sooo soft. I loved it.

Third gotta be Leash. Also a joukai, and a work in progress. I started writing fanfiction back in February, after being blocked for like three years, and pretty much of the first things I wrote where really soft (tho also really smutty) Leash is letting me write things that would've made uncomfortable three months ago, and I can also explore new ways to write smut. That always comes handy.

Here's a sneak peak from the second chapter

“Fuck you, Kaiba,” he spits instead, the fingers of his right hand flexing like he wants to grab him again. “Despite what fucked up idea you have in your mind, I’m not a dog. I don’t have a leash for you to pull on.”

Jounouchi turns on his back, walking down the stairs and very pointedly not looking back when Kaiba says, “Isono, please, walk Jounouchi to the exit. I don’t need him to get lost.” Jounouchi just goes straight for the door, countering with, “Don’t worry, I can find my way out.”

Fourth: something to give each other, for the HP fandom, obviously Jeverus. I think I started writing this right after getting my muses back, me and Beth (my first fandom friend, she's writing one of my favorite fics for this ship) started doing interchanges for this pairings. And this idea, like all the other, took over me. I put work into it, looking for each character aesthetic and writing headcanons to base the world on.

Here's my favorite part:

Jesus, he even hated the way he talked, slow, dragging the words to make his voice sound deeper. As if James hadn’t heard him last week, screaming like an honest to God four-year-old when Lily accidentally chipped his nails too close to the flesh. “I’m sorry, did we ask for your opinion?” this time, James did turn on his side to look at him, Snape was wearing a dark grey baggy turtleneck, along with pair of old dress trousers. He hated him a little more for making that fit look runaway material.

Fifth is actually a tie between double take and Have the cake. Eat the cake.

Double take is my latest published fic. It's a Joukai, and started because if line that I obsessed over from a fic (New Tricks by pockyhucks). I also wanted to try writing smut in a different way, and I wanted to get into the skin of someone in the Ace spectrum and figure out how you can be interested in someone's body without being interested in having sex with them.

Favorite part from this one is:

“I like touching you,” he cuts in before Jounouchi can finish his question. That statement makes him blush, but what he says next makes his blood pump in his ears. “I like the why your dick feels in my hand, and I also like knowing that you like me touching you.” He pauses, puts on that infuriating little smirk of his and tips his head. Jounouchi is red down his neck. “Is that enough for you, or do you want me to keep going?” Jounouchi gapes, his mouth opening and closing without a single word coming out. In the end he resolves to keep it shut, clearing his throat and turning to look through the window again, because if he looks at Kaiba, he’s probably going to combust in his seat. “That’s okay,” he eventually settles, speaking again his palm. “That’s quite enough.”

Anddddd finally Have the cake. Eat the cake.

This one is my baby, the first fic I'm writing with some resemblance of plot. It's a slow burn, and isn't even posted yet. But I love it soo much, I can't even explain it. Here's one of my favorite parts so far:

The Kaibas are the last ones to get to the course, Gozaburo wearing a white cap and Kaiba with black shades. He’s only one who’s dressed in shorts instead of trousers, and it makes him look painfully young against all the old man there. He doesn’t look like he cares, though, walking with his hands in his pockets replying to what Gozaburo was saying, taking the club that was meant for his father from Jounouchi’s hands.

He doesn’t test it, just gives Jounouchi a look that says ‘if I fail, it’s on you’, then walks to the closest hole and gets ready to swing.

It’s impolite, they’re the hosts, they’re supposed to let someone else play first, but Gozaburo just smirks when Kaiba makes the swing and scores, giving three slow claps that are echoed by the rest of the execs joining him. Kaiba just walks back to him, giving him the club and moving his hand in a come-hither gesture.

“Move along, mutt,” he says. Jounouchi clenches his fingers around the stick. “I want to finish this quickly.”

Jounouchi follows him around for the rest of the game.

Sorry, this kinda turned into a rant. But I'm so happy to be writing again that I'll take any change to speak about my works

[grumfield]

hi!. first of all, i'm absolutely obsessed with your blog, thank you for posting, i've never felt so validated reading someone's posts before. i'm currently falling deeply into the star wars abyss and i was wondering if you could recommend any books you personally liked (the angstier the better)? i'm a complete fandom newbie, so far I've only seen movies and clone wars season one, but id love to hear your opinion on what I should read next. if it's not a weird request. sorry if it is! have a nice day.

WAAAAH thank you so much!!! So glad you’re here and I’m SO HAPPY to recommend books to you because I was exactly in your position only a few months ago!

Okay. So the consensus within the fandom, especially if you’re an Obikin enjoyer (not sure if you are, but if you’re following me I suspect you at least find their platonic dynamic compelling), is that if you’re going to read one book it’s the Revenge of the Sith novelization by Matt Stover, and I agree with this. I’m not someone who was ever interested in reading movie novelizations but this book single handedly changed my mind. It’s exceptionally well written and just has this pervasive sense of growing doom that’s super unsettling while also giving a lot of emotional dimension to all of the characters in ways that film really isn’t able to. There’s a lot of interesting choices that are made—Anakin’s fall feels explicitly like Palpatine is taking advantage of an oncoming mental health episode and pushing him to snap, Anakin’s perception of the Obi-Wan/Padmé affair is tied more to anxieties about the two people he loves most not wanting him around than infidelity…there’s a lot of scenes that are in the book that aren’t in the movie that really just hit like a gut punch.

It’s absolutely great for angst, it’s written in such a unique way and literally the last scene gave me full body chills when I first read it. Horrible, beautiful, highly recommend it. Also uses second person narration in ways that are very clever.

(Also, it like…portrays Obi-Wan as like. A repressed gay monk in love with his oblivious straight friend and it’s incredible)

Now for my more personal recommendations for after you read that, if you want more!

I am a massive Rogue Planet and Jedi Quest enjoyer. They are honestly the cornerstones of my characterizations for these characters. Despite being a singular book and a middle grade series respectively, I group them in the same category for their absolutely incredibly compelling way it portrays the foundation of Anakin and Obi-Wan’s relationship—specifically how absolutely fucked it is in ways that aren’t super clear in the movies. They take place after the Phantom Menace and before AOTC, so cover Anakin’s time as Obi-Wan’s padawan.

Rogue Planet by Greg Bear follows Obi-Wan and Anakin on a mission when Anakin is 12 and there’s no way I can describe it other than it reading kind of like…what if the Virgin Mary was a permissive boymom who sucked at her job and the kid she’s raising has a 50/50 chance at being Jesus or Satan. Obi-Wan in this reads like the most 15 year old 28 year old ever, is still reeling from the death of Qui-Gon and has entered the motherhood phase of “my child is perfect and special and can do no wrong ever ever ever”. He’s extremely permissive and has hinged an unsettling amount of his hopes on Anakin’s role as the Chosen One because of his own personal issues. So when Anakin does shit like…oh I don’t know…accidentally explodes a man’s head with his mind…does things he isn’t supposed to Obi-Wan is like. Don’t Worry You Did Nothing Wrong I Will Ignore It.

And then hot on the tails of this is the Jedi Quest series by Jude Watson which follows their relationship after that on various missions as Anakin grow up. The series kind of focuses on the systemic ways in which Anakin leading up to AOTC was let down and what eventually drives his decisions later. Do not be fooled by it being a series for 12 year olds, it’s absolutely apeshit and additionally my favorite place for informing my perspective of their dynamic. Obi-Wan has gone from being boymom to being more emotionally distant as he tries to make Anakin be an “ideal jedi”. Jude Watson’s entire thesis is that like, Obi-Wan is not father brother or friend to Anakin, he is a Jedi, and does not have the tools to be anything else so his and Anakin needs and wants more. There’s this insane line at the end of book one where Anakin says like “Obi-Wan would come to love him. He would make him do so” which just acts as the through line for the entire series. the push and pull between someone who wants more and someone who consistently holds back creates this very unhealthy master-disciple dynamic that drives me insane. (I have kind of an uncharitable perspective of Obi-Wan because of this but it’s actually what made me love him even more, I prefer Jude Watson’s portrayal of him to almost any other author)

Anyways that’s my long drawn out first 3 recommendations to you lol! If you like them (or if you don’t!) feel free to come back and I’d be happy to chat with you more <33