#sorry in advance lol

[spittyfishy]

For Kiibo, do you miss your professor?

Kiibo’s having a time and a half lol

[tangledinink]

:0 ive gotten a whole bunch of new followers lately! hello! thank you! so excited to have you here!

,,, just,,, please bear with me for. like. the next day or two. and then i prommy we'll go back to the regularly scheduled turtle content.

[sclvged]

@dekanos plotted for a starter

Regret, regrowth - will I mumble in my fear forever? No one is listening.

Solace found them alongside one another in her father's kitchen. Moonlight swam across the fridge between the thin cut in the curtains. The air that existed there was potent with the smell of whiskey and oil, fresh from recent workings in the auto yard. Blue eyes surveyed the room, features illuminated ever so slightly by the pale shine in combination with light from the stove bulb, still left on by her recent cooking prowess.

As much as it pained her to admit to herself - he had grown on her. Six months passed with faint ease. Some days were tougher than others. Allie had always been the type to excel, yet shooting a gun did not come easy. Target practice often ended in frustrated sighs and gripping at her hair in agitation. They would bicker, act stupid, cause Bobby grief, then end up teasing like feral badgers.

"Were you raised in a barn?" Funny. Her love language seemed to be acting like a bitch, but her lips curved into a wide smile while watching him eat. Homemade pasta. Allie figured if he was putting in the effort, might as well feed him. Now two men were attached to her placement in their lives - at least she hoped so.

The punctuation of a short grin before she flicked a meatball at him lightened the mood. "Sorry, I thought you'd catch that in your huge mouth."

[c4tto626]

i will warn all of you. i woke super horny and i will make it all of y'alls problem ✌️

[ssluggishh]

locked in digital cardboard tube combat with no chance of escape .....

[ierofrnkk]

mom and dad broke up :(

spoilers for basically all of their relationship in season 1&2 lol

[elvenwhovian]

But seriously tho ... if you have not read (or listened to the audiobook of) Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir, what are you waiting for? Its soooooo good! And the audio book with Ray Porter is fantastic! I'm re-listening to it and its just as good as the first time.

It’s got everything. Realistic space adventure. A tolerable, but fun, amount of science and math. Relatable characters. An adorable rock alien. Saving the universe with the power of friendship. It’s one of those books that you don’t want to end. 

[king-minyard]

fuck it, i'm gonna start commenting on the smut i read

[themusingsofmuse]

writing a paper about Euripides' story of Iphigenia always gave me weird vibes, especially about the supposed swap at the end (spoiler alert: Artemis swapped her with a deer at the altar) - then I found out in Aeschylus the Greeks had to gag her so she didn't curse the family line while being sacrificed! like, you go girl!

[feelings-fortilly]

Tilly’s rule of thumb was that no matter where she was, no matter what she was doing - was to always be the hottest in the room.  It was a tough battle sometimes, making sure to always be on the top of her game, but it was a price willing to be paid.  She loved attention, craved it, and in her mind, there was nothing better than seeing heads turn as she walked through a door.  Being overdressed was never a crime.  And, it was also a reason why Tilly was always ‘fashionably late’ wherever she went - it was a way to ensure that eyes landed on her, the last one to arrive.  It was the sort of thing meticulously planned out over years in her lifestyle.  So when she waltzed through the club - somewhere she wasn’t sure the ‘slaves’ were even allowed in, not that it would affect her - she marched up to the bar with ease and gave the bartender a winning smile.  “Cosmopolitan,” she ordered, looking side to side at those standing around her.  “And whatever my spooky friend over here wants,” Tilly added, taking a look at her appearance and giving a pinched smile to the other slave. @violetxlynch​

[andie-cake]

y'know for a final chapter, this bitch sure has a lot of fuckin exposition

[samwilsonsthunderthighs]

my love for jeremy swayman knows no bounds but I can’t part with samwilsonsthunderthighs quite yet 😭

[hardkookiecookie]

it is time . to reblog rattrap posts

[inkskinned]

you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.

you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.

he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.

a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.

he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.

you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.

people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.

wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.

also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.

he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."

you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.

"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."

he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.

you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.

is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?

you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.

[ask-queen-arti]

(the ask box is open!)